#I put way too much effort into getting the spacing right though lol

[alangdorf]

[mythicalmaven]

Gotta Be You - Charles Leclerc (THREE)

masterlist | promptlist | previous part

Here is part three! And I'm honestly so proud of this chapter! I think it turned out awesome lol <3

↳pairing: charles leclerc x female!gasly!reader ↳word count: 5K ↳warnings: awkward encounters, truth or dare (trust me lol) , jealousy, alcohol, drinking games, talking about feelings ↳side info: friends to enemies to lovers, reader is Pierre's younger sister, reader is Arthur LeClerc's childhood best friend, Charles is her former crush, Charles is a jealous ass sometimes, age gap between reader and Charles (5 years) ↳summary: In which you go on a shared holiday with both your and your brother's friend group, forced to be confronted with your former teenage crush Charles LeClerc yet again. The only problem is? You can't stand him nowadays, until you suddenly can.

*a few days later*

As you stood in the bathroom, tying your hair into a ponytail, the familiar scent of the devil himself filled the small space. You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. Charles had a way of entering a room without saying a word but still commanding all the air in it. He closed the distance between you two, silently taking his place by the sink next to you, reaching into the cupboard for his hair products.

You bit back a groan, focusing on your reflection. There was nothing inherently wrong with him being there—but him standing this close stirred feelings you desperately wanted to push aside. His presence was overwhelming, in that maddening, familiar way.

Your usual coping mechanism kicked in: sarcasm, sharp enough to keep him at arm’s length.

"Fixing your hair won’t fix your attitude, you know that, right?" you sassed, not entirely sure why you felt the need to say anything.

Charles scoffed, his eyes catching yours in the mirror. His gaze was intense, steady—always knowing too much. "There’s no attitude that needs fixing," he huffed, washing his hands and drying them on the towel with deliberate slowness. "Besides, some people actually put effort into how they present themselves..."

Your head snapped toward him. "Is this your not-so-subtle way of saying I look like shit?"

He rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching in amusement. "Are you honestly this delusional?"

You threw your hands in the air. "Well, apparently, I am! Because that insult was completely unnecessary." You crossed your arms, leaning back against the sink with a challenging glare.

Charles shrugged, unfazed. "First of all, you started it. I didn’t do anything until you found it necessary to attack me." His voice lowered slightly, holding that aggravating calmness. "And besides… you and I both know that wasn’t an insult."

You narrowed your eyes. "How was it not an insult? You basically said I don’t put effort into how I look."

He inched closer, his movements slow and deliberate. Before you could register what was happening, his hands were on either side of you, gripping the edge of the sink. His chest hovered just inches from yours, effectively trapping you in place. His cologne wrapped around you, sending shivers down your spine.

Your breath hitched as his gaze flicked from your eyes to your lips before snapping back, locking onto yours like he was daring you to look away.

"Chérie, don’t act like you’re unaware that I think you’re hot," he whispered, voice low and rough. "You don’t need the effort."

Your heart thudded violently in your chest. For a split second, your gaze dropped to his lips—damn it. Realizing your mistake, you forced your eyes away, breathing through the sudden rush of heat.

You steeled yourself and met his gaze again. "Charles, quit playing games and get out of my face," you said through clenched teeth, though your voice wavered ever so slightly.

His eyes swept over you one last time, lingering on how you were still pressed against the sink, tension radiating between you like a live wire. His jaw clenched.

What the hell is he thinking?

Charles shifted back slightly, but something held him there, still too close for comfort. He exhaled sharply, as if wrestling with himself.

"What changed?" he asked quietly, voice strained.

Your brows furrowed. "What the hell are you talking about?"

He sighed, shoulders tense. "What did I do that made you hate me so much?" His voice softened, tinged with something dangerously close to regret. "What changed?"

Before you could answer—or even begin to process what to say—someone cleared their throat at the doorway.

Charles jumped back like he’d been burned, stumbling a step before retreating to sit on the edge of the bathtub, his gaze fixed firmly on the floor. You turned your head sharply, locking eyes with Arthur, who stood leaning against the doorframe with a massive, knowing grin.

"I came to ask if you’re ready for game night," Arthur said casually, though his smirk betrayed every innocent intention.

You let out a slow, steadying breath, forcing yourself to relax. "Yeah, coming," you muttered, pushing off the sink and brushing past him.

But before you crossed the threshold, something tugged at you. You rested your hand on the doorframe, glancing back at Charles. His head lifted, eyes locking onto yours with a silent intensity.

"As for what changed?" you said quietly, voice sharper than you intended. "The fact that you have no idea says enough, Charles."

With that, you walked out, catching up to Arthur as he fell into step beside you, still grinning like an idiot.

He glanced sideways at you, suppressing a laugh. "You two really have a thing for getting caught in bathrooms together, huh?"

You rolled your eyes. "Don’t start."

Arthur chuckled. "Well, let’s just say... I did put my money on you two hooking up this holiday, but I didn’t expect you to get that intimate that fast."

"First of all, nothing happened," you snapped, face heating. "And second, it wasn’t what it looked like."

"That’s what they all say," Arthur teased. "But to me, it looked like my brother had you pinned against the sink pretty damn convincingly."

You groaned. "He did not have me pinned—"

Arthur raised his eyebrows. "Oh? Because you being pressed against the sink while he boxed you in with his hands definitely looked like pinning from where I was standing."

"Fine," you admitted, throwing your hands up. "It looked exactly like that, but it was not for the reason you so desperately hope it was. So shut your mouth before I call your mom and tell her what happened to her couch." you said, referring to the time you caught Arthur and his former girlfriend having sex on his mom's new couch.

Arthur’s grin dropped instantly, his hands shooting up in mock surrender. "Alright, relax, no need for threats!" he laughed, shaking his head as the two of you headed downstairs.

As you and Arthur walked into the living room, you couldn’t help but laugh at his teasing, shaking your head in mock exasperation.

"I’m still putting my money on it, though," Arthur added with a mischievous grin, his voice light but teasing.

Before you could respond, Dennis looked up from where he was lounging on the couch, eyebrows raised in curiosity. "Putting your money on what?"

Arthur didn’t miss a beat. "That she’ll hook up with Charles before the end of this trip," he declared confidently, shooting you a knowing smirk.

Dennis let out a deep chuckle, sitting up straighter. "Oh, definitely. There’s no doubt in that," he agreed, his tone playfully conspiratorial.

You groaned dramatically, throwing your hands in the air. "Seriously? You’re both delusional."

Arthur shrugged. "Just calling it like we see it. The tension could be cut with a knife."

Dennis nodded sagely, as if offering expert commentary. "It’s practically inevitable."

Rolling your eyes, you grabbed a pillow from the nearest couch and tossed it at Dennis, who dodged it with practiced ease, laughing.

"You two are ridiculous," you muttered, fighting back a smile as they continued to exchange amused glances like co-conspirators.

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Tonight, the sky outside was pitch black, the faint sound of waves crashing in the distance as the group gathered in the living room. Sprawled across the plush couches, each of you with a drink in hand, the night carried an air of relaxed intimacy. The warm light of the room and the subtle buzz of alcohol created the perfect atmosphere for a game that was bound to stir up some chaos.

It was Inès who first suggested it, her eyes sparkling mischievously as she leaned forward, waving her drink for emphasis. “Okay,” she announced, her grin widening. “Let’s play ‘Never Have I Ever.’”

There was a mix of groans and laughs, but no one protested. As the alcohol worked its magic, the group quickly fell into the rhythm of the game, starting with tame questions.

“Alright,” Inès began, her tone playful. “Never have I ever made out at work.”

A beat of silence followed before all the boys raised their glasses almost simultaneously, their movements earning a round of laughter.

“I should’ve guessed,” you said, shaking your head as they took their sips.

The game continued, the questions growing more personal but still lighthearted. Dennis asked if anyone had ever called in sick to work when they weren’t actually sick, which prompted a unanimous drink from nearly everyone. Joris, with his usual antics, asked if anyone had ever gotten so drunk they couldn’t remember anything, earning another flurry of laughter as most of the group took a sip.

Then Kika piped up, her eyes sparkling as she leaned back against Pierre with a devilish grin. “Okay, my turn,” she announced, her voice dripping with amusement. “Never have I ever made out with my brother’s or sister’s best friend.”

The room broke into a chorus of gasps and giggles as everyone’s eyes darted around, scanning for raised glasses other than the obvious ones. Pierre groaned, shaking his head with a laugh as he lifted his drink and took a sip.

“You just want to get your boyfriend drunk, don't you?” Dennis teased Kika, his grin widening as he, too, raised his glass and took a sip.

Kika laughed, and looked at Pierre, who shot Dennis a playful smirk. “You did too, I see?”

Dennis chuckled, not bothering to deny it. “Yeah, can't deny that.”

Kika raised an eyebrow, her gaze flitting around the room. “Alright, anyone else want to confess?”

You stayed silent, hiding your smirk behind the rim of your glass as you watched the game unfold. The question might not have been directed at you specifically, but the implications swirling around the room were impossible to ignore, clearly an indirect question to see if you actually ever made out with Charles, which bummer to them, you didn't.

The game was already proving to be far more chaotic than you’d anticipated. The group sat sprawled out on the plush couches in the villa’s living room, drinks in hand and laughter filling the air. You’d already survived a few rounds of lighthearted questions—some borderline embarrassing—but when Dennis sat forward, his mischievous grin spelled trouble.

“Okay,” Dennis announced, his voice cutting through the chatter. “Y’all ask boring questions. Let’s spice this up.” He took a dramatic pause, letting the tension build before smirking. “Never have I ever gotten off to the thought of someone in this room… since we arrived here.”

A ripple of laughter broke out immediately. Kika, sitting snugly next to Pierre, was the first to respond, raising her glass with a playful roll of her eyes. “Well, I think I better drink, because let’s be honest—no one would believe me if I said no, considering my boyfriend is literally right here.”

Pierre nudged her with a grin, clearly unbothered by her admission as he sipped from his own glass. “As if the feeling isn’t mutual,” he teased, earning another round of laughter.

Across the room, Gigi tried to be subtle, lifting her glass for a quick sip, but Dennis’ sharp eyes caught her immediately. “Oh, I saw that, Gi!” he exclaimed, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

Gigi flushed crimson, glaring at him. “Shut up, Dennis,” she shot back, though the laughter in her voice betrayed her. “Don’t turn all the attention on me. I’m not the only one who drank!” She gestured toward a few others who had lifted their glasses.

“Oh, I’m not pretending I didn’t,” Dennis said casually, raising his glass again for emphasis. “Because I have zero shame” His eyes flicked toward you for the briefest moment, a sly grin tugging at his lips.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, silently hoping to stay under the radar. But your attempt at blending into the background only seemed to make you more conspicuous.

“Don’t act all shy now, Gasly,” Dennis teased, his tone smug. His eyes locked on you as he leaned forward. “I saw you take a sip. Don’t think I didn’t notice that. Care to enlighten us who the lucky one is?”

Your cheeks burned as every pair of eyes turned toward you. You scrambled to think of a response, your heart pounding in your chest. Finally, you forced a laugh, raising an eyebrow at Dennis. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” you quipped, your voice surprisingly steady despite the heat in your face.

The group erupted into a mix of laughter and teasing comments, but before the attention could shift completely, Arthur piped up from where he was seated beside Charles.

“Alright, alright,” Arthur said, his grin widening as he leaned forward. “We’ve all been so focused on you three, but is no one going to mention the fact that two other people drank as well?” His eyes darted pointedly toward Charles and Joris, his tone dripping with mock innocence. “Hmm, I wonder who those drinks were about.”

Charles stiffened slightly beside him, his jaw tightening as he tried to play it cool. “Don’t drag me into this,” he muttered, taking another sip of his drink as if to distract himself.

“Too late, mate,” Arthur shot back with a grin, nudging his brother’s shoulder. “You drank. That means you’ve got to own up to it.”

Joris, ever the instigator, leaned back with a smug grin of his own. “Yeah, Charles, don’t be shy. Who’s the lucky one, huh?”

Charles rolled his eyes, leaning back against the couch and trying to appear nonchalant. “Not a chance,” he said simply, though the tips of his ears betrayed a faint redness.

You couldn’t help but glance at him briefly, your curiosity piqued. Did he…? No, there was no way. You quickly shoved the thought aside, but the idea lingered annoyingly in the back of your mind.

Meanwhile, Charles’ thoughts were anything but composed. When you’d taken a sip earlier, his stomach had twisted uncomfortably. At first, he’d assumed it was Dennis—the way Dennis was always teasing you, always so close—but then another thought crept in, one that made his pulse quicken. What if it wasn’t Dennis?

The idea of it being about him sent a conflicting mix of emotions surging through him—hope, doubt, and an overwhelming sense of confusion. He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice Joris’ subtle kick to his shin until it made contact.

“Stop staring,” Joris whispered, smirking at his friend. “You’re making it obvious.”

Charles snapped out of his reverie, glaring at Joris. “Shut up,” he muttered under his breath, shifting in his seat.

Arthur, ever the opportunist, caught the exchange and raised an eyebrow. “What’s this now?” he asked, clearly amused. “Charles getting a little distracted?”

“Leave him alone,” Joris said with a grin, though his tone was far from serious. “Poor guy’s got enough on his plate already.”

“Oh, definitely not, he's pestered me long enough about things, payback time” Arthur said, his laugh echoing over the group’s chatter as Charles groaned, clearly regretting his choice to participate

The laughter hadn’t fully settled when Paul leaned forward with a mischievous grin, his drink loosely dangling in one hand. He glanced between you and Charles, his tone teasing as he spoke.

“So, Y/n, didn’t you mention something about the walls here being thin?” Paul asked, clearly enjoying the tension he was stirring. “Hope Charles has been a quiet neighbor. Otherwise, you probably heard everything. Poor Y/n.”

The room erupted into laughter, Dennis and Arthur practically doubling over. Kika smirked, nudging Pierre, who groaned, already sensing where the conversation was heading.

Charles narrowed his eyes at Paul, his jaw tightening slightly before he forced a smirk onto his face. “I’m not a complete idiot, you know,” he shot back. “If I had to… handle things, I’d make sure no one heard a damn thing. Either that or I’d do it somewhere more private.”

The laughter grew louder, Dennis nearly choking on his drink. “Good to know you’ve got a strategy, mate,” he teased, wiping his mouth.

You couldn’t help but feel heat creeping up your neck at the implication. The idea of Charles trying to stay quiet, and worse, the thought of actually overhearing him, made your stomach twist in ways you didn’t want to unpack. Not that you’d ever admit it.

“Well, I’m glad I didn’t hear anything,” you retorted, forcing a grin to hide your flustered state. “Because if I did, I’d probably have hearing damage.”

Charles turned to you, his smirk sharpening as he shot back, “As if I’d want to get off with you right outside my room.”

The room went silent for half a beat before Dennis, never one to miss an opportunity, leaned forward with a wicked grin. “No,” he said, drawing out the word for effect. “Because you’d prefer her in the room, wouldn’t you?”

The laughter that followed was deafening. Dennis clinked his glass with Paul’s, who was shaking his head but laughing just as hard. Charles, on the other hand, turned beet red, his face almost matching the color of his drink.

You weren’t any better, your face burning as you buried it in your hands. “Dennis, I swear to God,” you muttered, though your voice was muffled by the roar of the group.

Pierre groaned, his expression one of pure disgust as he rubbed his temples. “Okay, are you done? Because we are so not dragging my baby sister into Charles’ dirty fantasies.”

Arthur, always ready to escalate things, grinned and leaned back in his chair. “We don’t have to drag her into anything, Pierre,” he joked. “Charles probably already does that himself.”

The laughter doubled, filling the room with chaos as you and Charles sat frozen in mortification. Kika had tears streaming down her face from laughing, while Joris clapped a hand on Charles’ shoulder, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

Pierre glared at the group, clearly over it. “I don’t even want to know,” he muttered, waving a hand dismissively. “Can we just move on before I lose my mind?”

The group slowly settled, though the smirks and giggles lingered as someone suggested the next round of the game. But despite the conversation moving on, you couldn’t help but feel Charles’ gaze flick toward you now and then, and you hated how much your heart raced when it did.

Meanwhile, Charles couldn’t stop replaying Dennis’ comment in his head. The idea of you in his room—or worse, of you thinking about him in that way—had lodged itself in his mind, refusing to budge. He shook his head, trying to focus on the game, but it was no use.

Neither of you wanted to admit it, but the seed of thought had been planted, and it was impossible to ignore.

The game moved on, the attention shifting away from Charles and you for the moment, but the tension hung in the air like a spark waiting to ignite. Charles stole another glance at you, his thoughts still tangled in the what-ifs. And as for you? You couldn’t help but wonder if you were indeed the one that had made him drink in the first place.

It was Joris who leaned forward next, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. “Alright, never have I ever kissed my best friend.”

The room buzzed with anticipation as everyone exchanged curious glances. Inès was the first to raise her glass and take a drink, earning a few cheers and teasing remarks. But it was the way both you and Arthur looked at each other, simultaneously bursting into laughter, that drew all the attention. Without hesitation, the two of you clinked your glasses together dramatically and downed your drinks in one go.

Charles raised an eyebrow, his perplexed expression giving him away. “Wait—you and Y/n kissed?” he asked, his gaze flicking between the two of you, his tone tinged with disbelief.

Arthur let out a laugh, leaning back casually. “Jealous much?” he shot back, his grin widening when he saw the flicker of annoyance cross Charles’ face.

Charles opened his mouth to protest, but Arthur cut him off with a chuckle. “Relax, I’m just kidding.”

Despite his brother’s reassurance, Charles still looked a little dumbfounded, his confusion—and something else he wouldn’t name—lingering. Kika, always one to stir the pot, leaned forward with a smirk. “Okay, I’m curious now. What’s the story?”

You laughed, shaking your head as you waved a hand dismissively. “There’s not much of a story, honestly. Happened a few times. We were both hopeless and single, and we figured, why not? It was just for fun. Turns out we were terrible at it.”

Arthur nodded in agreement, still grinning. “Massive failure. Zero chemistry. The kiss sucked, and we both agreed never to try again.”

“And the other times?” Kika pressed, her curiosity clearly piqued.

“Oh, just Truth or Dare,” you replied with a shrug. “Happened once or twice when we were younger. Nothing serious. More like a punishment than a kiss, honestly.”

The room erupted into laughter, with Inès nearly choking on her drink as she laughed the hardest. “I can so picture your disgusted faces,” she managed between giggles.

As the laughter died down, Inès perked up, her eyes glinting with mischief. “Speaking of Truth or Dare,” she said, her grin widening, “we should switch to that. Way more interesting than this.”

The group exchanged glances, a ripple of excitement building at the prospect of what chaos Truth or Dare might bring. You couldn’t help but glance at Charles, whose expression was still unreadable, though his gaze lingered on you for just a second too long before he looked away. Whatever this next game would bring, you had a feeling it wasn’t going to get any less intense.

The questions escalated slowly, moving from tame confessions to more suggestive dares. Someone dared Dennis to prank call his ex, which he executed flawlessly, much to everyone’s amusement. Gigi had to show the last text she sent to Joris, blushing furiously as everyone gathered around to read it. Pierre, naturally, had been dared to whisper something filthy to Kika, who doubled over laughing and refused to tell anyone what he’d said.

Then it was Paul’s turn, and his eyes gleamed as he scanned the room, finally landing on you. “Y/n,” he called out with a grin. “Truth or dare?”

You didn’t hesitate. “Dare.”

Paul’s grin widened, and the others leaned in, already sensing mischief. “I dare you to kiss Charles.”

The room went dead silent, every eye darting toward you.

You froze for a beat before scoffing loudly. “God, no”

“Oh, come on,” Dennis teased, smirking at you. “A dare is a dare”

“No, ew!” you shot back, shaking your head emphatically. “Anyone else in the world rather than him. I’d rather stick my tongue inside a trash can than kiss him.”

The tension seemed to settle, the group already laughing at your dramatic protests, until Charles’ voice cut through. Low, clipped, and tinged with something that sounded like a challenge.

“That’s not what you told me when you were sixteen.”

The room froze. Even the laughter died instantly.

You stared at him, wide-eyed and stunned, your pulse roaring in your ears. His words hit like a slap, and you could see the regret flicker in his eyes almost immediately.

“That was a low blow, Charles,” Arthur muttered, shaking his head in disapproval.

Pierre leaned back with a grimace, gesturing to the group. “Guess it’s better to call this game quits, non?”

But you weren’t about to let it go. Swallowing the knot of hurt lodged in your throat, you stood, fixing your gaze on your brother. “No need to,” you said firmly. “Dennis is right, a dare is a dare.”

The group exchanged glances, unsure of what was about to happen, but you didn’t stop. The anger bubbling inside you had morphed into something else—something that demanded revenge.

You marched over to where Charles sat, his eyes widening as you closed the distance. Without a word, you reached down, lifting his chin with your thumb, forcing him to look at you.

His breath hitched, his lips parting slightly, but before he could speak, you crushed your mouth against his.

The kiss wasn’t gentle—it was heated, full of anger and defiance. His lips were warm and soft against yours, but the sharp inhale he took before his hands moved to your waist betrayed how caught off guard he was.

Charles froze for a split second, his mind scrambling to process what was happening. But when your tongue brushed against his lips, seeking entrance, he couldn’t hold back any longer.

A low, guttural sound escaped his throat as he kissed you back with equal fervor, his hand sliding behind your neck, fingers tangling in your hair as he deepened the kiss. His pulse was racing, heat surging through his veins, and he struggled to keep himself in check.

Your hands slid down his chest, slow and deliberate, feeling the hard muscle beneath his shirt. You knew exactly what you were doing as your palm settled over the bulge in his jeans, giving it a playful squeeze.

He let out a strangled sound, his body reacting instinctively, and you pulled back just enough to whisper, “I might’ve had a crush on you back when I was too delusional to see you for who you really are, but at least I’m not the one sitting here, a 27-year-old guy, getting hard because he had to kiss his best friend’s baby sister during a game.”

The room erupted. Dennis and Joris were practically howling with laughter, clapping each other on the back. Gigi and Kika exchanged wide-eyed glances before bursting into giggles. Even Arthur had his head in his hands, laughing despite himself.

Charles, on the other hand, looked utterly mortified. His face was beet red, his mouth opening and closing as if searching for words that wouldn’t come.

“Poor Charles,” Dennis teased, grinning wickedly. “Bet that wasn’t the reaction you were expecting.”

Another wave of laughter erupted, leaving Charles sitting in stunned silence. Finally, Charles downed the rest of his drink in one go, standing abruptly. “I need air,” he muttered before making his way out of the room and into the garden.

He pushed open the glass doors that led to the terrace, the cool night air hitting his flushed face like a balm. The stars glittered overhead, but he barely noticed them as he sank into one of the patio chairs, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

His heart was still pounding in his chest, his mind replaying the kiss over and over. He could still feel the ghost of your lips on his, the way your hand had trailed down his chest, resting on him with enough boldness to completely disarm him. And your words—sharp, cutting, and delivered with such venom—they were like a slap in the face.

He groaned softly, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands. What the hell had he been thinking, making that comment about you at sixteen? He’d known it was cruel the second the words left his mouth, but he couldn’t stop himself. His insecurities, his regret, his jealousy—it all spilled out in the worst way possible.

The sound of the sliding door opening made him glance up. Arthur stepped out, holding two fresh beers in his hands. Without a word, he handed one to Charles and took the seat next to him.

They sat in silence for a few moments, the only sounds the distant crash of waves and the faint hum of cicadas. Finally, Arthur broke the quiet.

“You’re a dickhead,” he said matter-of-factly, taking a sip of his beer.

Charles let out a humorless laugh, nodding slightly. “I know.”

Arthur turned to him, his expression softening slightly. “That comment, mate—it was out of line. You really hurt her with that one.”

Charles sighed, staring at the bottle in his hand. “I know,” he said again, his voice quieter this time. “I wasn’t thinking. Or maybe I was, and that’s the problem.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“It’s just…” Charles paused, struggling to find the right words. “She makes me feel things I don’t know how to handle. And then when she said all that stuff about how she’d rather kiss a trash can or anyone else but me…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I just—reacted. Like an idiot.”

Arthur studied his brother for a moment before leaning back in his chair. “You know, it’s okay to feel things. But lashing out like that? That’s not how you handle it. You deserved what she did to you after that comment. Hell, if it were me, I’d have punched you.”

Charles chuckled softly, though there was no humor in it. “Yeah, well, she went for humiliation instead. And it worked.”

Arthur grinned. “Oh, it definitely worked. She got you good. But seriously, Charles, what’s your deal with her? One minute you’re at each other’s throats, and the next, you’re looking at her like…” He gestured vaguely, trying to find the right words.

Charles sighed, leaning back in his chair and looking up at the sky. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “She gets under my skin. Always has. And for the longest time, I told myself it was just because she’s Pierre’s sister, and I shouldn’t feel anything for her.” He paused, his voice softening. “But I do. I have for a few years now.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow. “You’re in love with her.”

Charles didn’t answer, but the silence spoke volumes.

Arthur let out a long breath, tapping the neck of his beer bottle thoughtfully. “You’ve got to stop letting that eat you alive, mate. Either you tell her how you feel, or you let it go. This whole act of yours, pretending you’re indifferent while secretly wanting her? It’s not working. It’s just making things worse—for both of you.”

“I know,” Charles said quietly. “But it’s not that simple. She hates me now. And maybe she has a reason to.”

Arthur gave him a pointed look. “She doesn’t hate you, Charles. She’s angry, sure. And maybe a bit hurt. But hate? No. If she really hated you, she wouldn’t have kissed you like that.”

Charles frowned, replaying the kiss in his mind. The anger, the passion—it had been overwhelming, intoxicating. But there had been something else beneath it, something he couldn’t quite name.

“I don’t know what to do,” he admitted finally.

Arthur clapped a hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. “Start by apologizing. And I don’t mean a half-assed apology. Really apologize, Charles. Own up to your shit. Then maybe, just maybe, you can start fixing things.”

Charles nodded slowly, the weight of his brother’s words sinking in. He didn’t know if it was too late to fix things with you, but for the first time, he felt a glimmer of hope that it might not be.

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taglist: @vroomvro0mferrari @fishyfishersticks @prttylight @tempo-rary-fix @suns3treading @a-beaverhausen @formula1fordisaster @janeh22 @leclercdream @sageskiesf1 @ch16les @emryb @vyctorya @asmoothoperator @dilfsaresohot @freyathehuntress @sarx164

[bigmammallama5]

Do you have any tips for taking photos of physical objects? I like making things, but taking photos of them is the worst :(

Sure! I also struggle with taking pictures of stuff, but I can give you two big suggestions (and I'll try to keep my explanation brief for now, but you are always welcome to come back and ask for clarification!). As always, these suggestions are not rules, so if it goes against what you know or have been taught or what works best for you, feel free to disregard it lol.

Lighting, and set-up (which I will roll camera angle into).

You don't need anything big and fancy to take nice pictures of what you make. You don't need a big DSLR camera or box lights or a crazy image processing program. You can take great pictures of your stuff right at home with things you already have. I know a lot of potters who take decent pictures of their work in a corner of their living room with a simple paper sweep (poster board), one directional light (one guy I know even uses just a lamp and points it towards his pots), and something to take pictures with whether that's your phone or a little point and shoot.

Lighting. A good rule of thumb is to not back-light your work as your primary light source*. Make sure your primary light source is in front and pointing at the thing you're trying to photograph. You can even kick it off to the side for a nice three-quarters effect! You CAN have some back-lighting as long as is is acting as your fill (secondary light source) OR if you're shooting outdoors. If you want to go for natural lighting, gray days are actually quite nice as they offer even lighting (though if you want that bright sun, go for it!). *That is not to say back-lit things are bad, just that they aren't necessarily going to show off your work unless it's designed to be that way.

Set-up. This can be as simple or as complex as you want it to be! Figure out how you want to shoot your work, and then figure out how to light the space. If you want something clean, create a light box. Use a box with a white/light gray sheet draped inside to make a contained space, or pick a corner of a room and either drape a sheet or use some poster board to make a little box you can easily put up and take down. If you want something that's more set up, I have actually used my work space as my backdrop. Show the tools you are using, maybe some material, and build a composition around your piece! That takes a little more effort but can be quite nice.

As for taking the actual picture, I have found that I personally like to have it slightly up at a shallow angle so it's not straight on or too high looking down on the piece. You can easily create an unflattering angle, but there are little nuances to taking pictures of those more extreme angles. It's just not what I'm interested in lol. Have your piece nice and centered at the angle you like, and make sure the camera is focusing on your work as much as possible and not the surrounding environment (I won't get into depth of field and all that, but that's worth keeping in mind). You can do that with some simple settings our technology has these days! (Also side note: if you are using your phone, clean the camera lens on your shirt first. It's crazy how easily that little thing can get dirty and give you smudgy looking photos lol)

I'll stop myself there, but hopefully these suggestions can help you feel more confident in taking pictures of your work! As always, feel free to ask more questions if you have any.

[sadstrever]

cw: 116lbs

gw: 106lbs

hw: 150lbs

hi. so my last account got banned so i realize now i should be a little more careful of what i say cuz i guess i concerned some of you. or this will just be my last post because i need to vent.

wanna hear how i started my day? i chew and spit my food into plastic bottles(i know i’m disgusting no one should ever do this) and i was opening it and it exploded fucking everywhere and the smell was putrid and it was all over me and my bedroom. and i was hungover. and it was 7am. and i threw up immediately after. anyways, i haven’t e@ten in weeks. lol. almost a month, which isn’t the longest i’ve gone so don’t worry this is not that bad lol. ALSO NO I WILL NOT BE GIVING TIPS. ever since my brother moved away it’s been pretty easy to st@rve. the hard part now is knowing where to draw the line. my best friend has broken down a lot recently because of me. i’m an awful person lol. i let them get too close and now they know too much about the disgusting things i do. i needed space because seeing him just makes me feel guilty for putting him through this with me. i tried to end the friendship 2 nights ago over a bottle of v0dka. it did not work out very well. i said some really hurtful things to him that i didn’t mean in an effort to push him away. once the alc wore off i made him a cake to apologize which now that i say it out loud, it does not feel like much of an apology at all. he somehow easily forgave me which makes me feel even shittier. he said it was because he knows im sick. i don’t know what i’m doing. the derealization has gotten worse. i tried going half sober which didn’t help. i’ve developed a laxative problem too which also doesn’t help. it’s not as bad as others though, i was just taking 3 a day for a minute(a few months)but that’s so fucking bad for you and it really made my stomach problems worse. i took 3 today for the first time after not taking them for weeks and there was really no reason. just a desperate attempt to make myself feel better. when that didn’t help, i tried to smoke but i got too high because i only smoke every other day now which lowered my tolerance. when THAT didn’t work i went to the gym and burned 460 calories and then THAT didnt work so i walked around and burned 240 more. none of it made me feel less empty. i’m so sick of it. why is it all so fucked. nothing feels right. i want to try and recover but i don’t remember the person i was before all of this. my brain just fucking can’t figure it out. i don’t feel like a real person man. i want to recover and not because i’m giving up. starving is the easiest part of my life. it’s all that seems to make me feel a little better. eating always makes me so depressed and in a worse way. it makes me aware of reality in a way that fucking kills me. i need to do it if i want to feel human, if i want to be a good friend, daughter, sister. i’m gonna wait until i’m underweight which is once i’m 109lbs. 7lbs away lol. it’ll probably take a week or two so i guess i’ll update on how i’m trying to recover. fuck i really don’t want to man. pls give me tips because i can’t die and just be a sad fucking story to everyone i love. or just fucking report me like u guys did last time, not having any safe place with people who relate will totally help too!!!

[partyhorn]

Have u ever posted your comic or animation workflow anywhere? Im super curious on how you tackle the process, especially not using a drawing tablet. I know you have a very simple (and adorable) style so that probably helps in terms of workflow -- Im just curious about the steps you take.

Thank you! With both comics and animation my key thing is to not spend too much time on any particular thing, just draw loose and fast. Honestly the only downside to drawing with a mouse is that I can tell my arm has extremely specific muscle memory regarding it- if my mouse breaks and I get a new one I have to spend a good month or so just letting my hand get used to it again lol. Same with if my setup gets readjusted too much- right now my setup is my mouse on one of those padded mousepads, on top of 2 books, with my elbow resting on my 3DS case (I'll get an actual pillow or something for it eventually lol). But luckily thanks to this I suffer very minimal wrist pain 👍

(...Okay I started to go really in depth in my process here, so sorry if this is way more than what you were asking. Putting it under a readmore just to save space lol)

With MFM in particular, I start by writing out the entire script for the next story arc, which really is just all of the dialogue and vague notes about any important actions. Then I do the paneling with very loose stick-figure like sketches of where the characters are and what they're doing. I prefer having very little planning when it comes to character poses and panel shapes, coming up with those on the fly makes things much more exciting and faster to make. But it's the opposite with dialogue... it needs to be 100% FINAL before I draw a single line lol.

That's part of my script for my most recent chapter, as well as what my extremely loose goofy thumbnail sketching is like. I write the script as one big thing and don't separate it into pages until I actually start drawing- then I go and color change it just to keep track of what dialogue goes on each page

After that, I go back and do the ACTUAL sketch, as well as the lettering (I don't believe this is how it's done professionally. I used to do lettering as the very last step in the process... but then found it hard to cram speech bubbles in the right places lmao.) After that is lineart, coloring, background flat colors, then shading/rendering for all of it. I do each step in batches, as in I sketch out ALL pages of a chapter before moving to lineart, I line ALL pages before starting coloring, etc. I find it way easier to be productive when it's broken up like that, though when I first started the comic I used to draw each page to completion before starting the next (but also, the comic's style was DRASTICALLY simpler back then haha)

(Unfortunately I merged some of the shading to the background flat colors so it's not entirely accurate... oops) FireAlpaca has a sand texture feature that I only found out about last year- adding that to the backgrounds makes them look 10x better with WAY less effort.

With animation, it depends on the project. For simple 5-10 second animation I make for fun, there's very little planning lol. I skip some steps in the process- I'll sketch out the keyframes (and maybe any difficult inbetweens if necessary), line those, then go straight into making linework inbetweens. I'm not a cleanup artist and have no experience in that, so I always find trying to line my rough animation makes everything jittery and wobbly. If I do it with a clean line from the start then I can avoid that and save a lot of time 👍

For my bigger projects (such as the Parvey cartoon and the MFM Kickstarter trailer), I do the whole animatic with final audio first and foremost, with the animatic being almost like the keyframes. I split them up into individual shots, .mp4 files anywhere between 1-30 seconds usually, and animate those one at a time. I'm a huge fan of free to use programs and try to use them as much as I possibly can, here's a list of the ones I use:

FireAlpaca- for the actual drawing part itself (storyboarding/animating/etc). FireAlpaca has a feature that lets you export every frame as it's own drawing, as well as an onion skin mode

Windows Movie Maker- for compiling all of those frames into video format, creating individual shots. If you upload all of your frames and set them to around 0.08 seconds, it equals about 12fps (I usually animate at 0.10 seconds/10fps, its a bit slower but looks nice)

Onlinesequencer.net- for making music. It's the place I've made all of my songs on, like the timeloop song, hyperworkaholic, and the background music for the MFM Kickstarter trailer.

Audacity- for editing audio/music. Also great for recording things directly from your desktop

DaVinci Resolve- for editing and putting together all of the shots into one big video. Can get kind of intensive on the computer during rendering, so watch out.

YouCut (app)- also for editing and compiling shots, I used this one a lot a couple years back but I'm not sure how well it holds up. Doesn't need much phone storage to download but needs a lot to render videos.

MS Paint (yes really)- for typing up text. FireAlpaca has a text option but I don't like it as much as Paint's.

...The only thing I genuinely can't do alone is voice acting. Luckily there's a big voice acting community on Twitter and they're all amazing to work with!

This got... way more in depth than I planned for it to be, so sorry if this is way more than what you were asking lol. But that's my general process when it comes to my art 👍

[glassvines]

Now that it's been a little over a week since the finale was released, I'm going to give some of my final thoughts on Murder Drones.

While I'm going to miss this series a lot, I really do think it's for the best that it ended here on a high note, as all the mysteries being setup throughout the series concluded in ep 7/Mass Destruction.

Absolute End was twenty minutes worth of satisfying wrap-ups.

Thoughts/comments in order:

⋅ Nori and Uzi briefly interacting at the beginning of the episode was great. LOVE that there was a little semi-realism here: no sound can be heard in space. Nori and Uzi having to find ways to communicate was clever.

⋅ N finally getting to pilot a spaceship :').

⋅ The VERY CUTE convo between N and Uzi that they are, in fact, dating was perfection. While they're falling through the atmosphere. While on fire. This was so good you guys. They are such a great main couple. Have loved their slow burn throughout the show <3.

⋅ V IS BACK. Was already 100% positive Lizzy's "secret friend" was V, so this was not a surprise.

⋅ Now, while I was hoping for J to see the light in the final episode, I was happy with what we got instead. Confirmation that she knows what has happened to Tessa, and that she has ultimately taken the cowards way out. She won't fight the inevitable.

Love the brief hint that she has TRIED to make things right with V in the past; warn her about Cyn's plans.

"If I promised you anything, it tricked me too."

:(

Also props to Shara Kirby here. J didn't play a huge role in the series, but the few lines she did get in the finale were great.

⋅ Legit my favorite part of the episode is that corny bit N and Uzi do while they're still falling towards Copper 9. Uzi blasting Cyn with the solver (null-solver? blackhole-solver?), THE WINK, Uzi and N: The Drone Killers, and the final sunglasses pose.

ABSOLUTE DORKS ILTHEM SO MUCH.

⋅ I also love that they are IMMEDIATLEY completely fucked up beyond belief by Cyn moments after this. That was devastating holy shit.

⋅ CYN IS SO SCARY IN THIS EP. Cannot believe how good the "call back ping" scene is.

⋅ N has never had problems with panic attacks throughout the series, so I can only assume this is due to him having access to his own memories now? Cyn could keep his personality intact by, as Uzi put it in ep2 "turning his memories to soup".

Which gives me the impression that he could potentially go comatose without Uzi there to hold his hand.

JFC.

⋅ V's heartfelt confession that everything she did was to keep N safe was a fantastic scene too. I went into this episode assuming 99% of the cast would survive, but I was definitely panicking here.

Me: "Do something N. DO SOMETHING."

N: *does something and is immediately ko'd*

Me: "NO, NOT LIKE THAT!!!"

⋅ Khan was redeemed early on the series for me, given how much effort he immediately put into trying to be a bigger part of Uzi's life after the pilot episode.

That being said, it was nice that he managed to come through in a clutch and save N :).

⋅ "Weirdly hot robots" Uzi lmao. Further confirmation that this entire show really is YA/Twilight spoof.

⋅ "I think dumb things are figgin' cool and I. AM. FREE." Yeah no, I can understand why this is a very niche show. The humor is very. Um. Look, I love her so much, this was so funny to me. The final message of the series is literally "be your dopey, cringe self - get the guy" hahaha. Teenage-me would have made this series my entire personality. Or, I would have at the very least appreciated the message.

⋅ BOSS BATTLE!! It's insane how good this scene looks. This was an absolute joy to look at. Adored the addition of Nori's ipod nightcore mix as the main battle song.

⋅ Allanah Fitzgerald is a riot actually.

⋅ I was not fooled by the N fake-out death lol. Good setup to further prove the trio are absolutely in sync now though. Probably my favorite part of the fight scene.

⋅ The fight against Cyn ending in a very grounded way was...interesting? Literally just Uzi making an appropriate strategic decision in a split second.

⋅ Tessa's ribcage oh my God.

⋅ Nori still being infatuated with Khan is so funny.

⋅ Uzi not coming out of this scot-free makes sense. The setup for that reveal was great.

V: "Oh, she's still a cringelord it's her UGH".

⋅ N twirling her around and squeezing her and crying into her shoulder omfg why are they so cuuteee.

⋅ Uzi coming full circle from the pilot scene presentation, complete with an updated "protag/heroes journey" slide:

"Forget about all of this insanity. Get tunnel visioned on spooky corpse robot reveal. Work backwards from there."

LMAO

⋅ Khan excitedly cheering about the fact that Uzi essentially decided she should have never gone outside. Blink and you won't notice that Nori is with him, but she iiisss.

⋅ Final classroom scene and end credits were fun:

- "THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND!" - N is learning to draw manga (from one of those awful Western "how to draw manga" books from the early 2000s) - V is very affectionate/proud about this - V and Lizzy are very close now - Doll's body is for some reason there too (??) - V is definitely drinking from a dead worker drone in this scene lmao - The group shots of Lizzy, V, Thad, Uzi and N together were cute - J is STILL ALIVE. Why is she obsessed with leaving via the ship...? - Gin Rummy game finally happened. Also Nori again. - "Pog in chat!!" Why. - Doll's funeral (or well - memorial presentation by Lizzy) at the prom. I love how pissed N and Uzi look lmao. - V playing chess against the sentinel

⋅ AAANND we get the final confirmation that Uzi is in fact, permanently stuck with Cyn/the Solver, as it can speak to her. I'm not buying the "everything's a hologram and everyone's actually dead" theory because the show is simply not that cynical. But I do love that this certainly leaves the audience with questions at the final moment.

Again, I'm gonna miss this show and these characters. Would love to see them explored more in the future *emoji eyes at Glitch*.

Cannot wait to see what Glitch has in store, in terms of new shows. I'm shocked at how high quality indie animation has gotten in the last half decade, and I'd like to see more of it.

[meelkiewee]

EXQUISITE CORPSE SHENANIGANS

Hello!

The other night me and my friends @hoodyknight and @mellowmango were playing Gartic Phone and I wanted to share the characters that came out! We specifically played "Exquisite Corpse". For those who are not familar with it: each person makes one part of the body, having only a tiny hint of what was previously made.

We were very surprised, to say the least, when we put together many actually interesting ones.

Since it's fun to rate things, I'll do a personal chart starting from worst to best. For each one I will say the drawing order, my rating and a personal thought.

Drawing Order (DO) : Michael-Gabriele-Sole

rate: 4/10

We had a nice start with the girlypop bull but even tho I like that and the arm tattoos very much I think I did a mid job with the legs. Overall It's not even colored so meh.

DO: Gabriele-Michael-Sole

rate: 4/10

The face is interesting and the shirt is kinda cute, then i ruined everything with that nonsense foot and the colored background. Tbh the background wasn't really my fault but a bug sob...

DO: Michael-Gabriele-Sole

rate: 5/10

Nice palette, nice face. The rest: I probably see something like this running after me in my nightmares, luckily I never remember anything when I wake up.

DO: Gabriele-Sole-Michael

rate: 5/10

Head and torso look good together but I think we achieved the AI vibe with this one soooo.....

DO: Sole-Gabriele-Michael

rate: 6/10

I didn't put much effort in the monster heads but I didn't really expect my friend to draw yet another head below so that's funny. What's even more funny is if you know where the three animal heads come from, you'll probably understand why the cutlery is so unexpectedly fitting lol. Rat feet are cute.

DO: Sole-Michael-Gabriele

rate: 6/10

My most failed attempt at drawing Husk by heart, I should never do that again. Tho this is the first drawing that tells a story uwu and shouts trans rights even for the fellow femboys out there <3 feat a very disrespectful ant checking what's under the skirt for good measure. Little accident happened with the colors so meh.

DO: Gabriele-Michael-Sole

rate: 6/10

Those are the most realistic eyes ever, they spook me asf I feel like it's staring in my soul ;; I am also not a big fan of the fact that the drawing goes out of the canvas. Funny points for the mom tattoo and the implications of cannibalism though.

DO: Gabriele-Sole-Michael

rate: 6/10

Body and legs(?) are kinda meh and it's totally my fault for messing it up on purpose but I wanted to experiment a bit. I'm sorry to my friend who was responsible for the marvellous face :'c Points for the bad-boi jacket.

rate: 6/10

DO: Michael-Sole-Gabriele

This turned out kind of intimidating in a funny way and has some bitchy vibes.

DO: Gabriele-Sole-Michael

rate: 6/10

I liked how my friend used the space for the heads and they came out nice as well.

DO: Sole-Michael-Gabriele

rate: 6/10

What the hell is this. And she's a dragon too now. She's clearly typing the news in the chat with the ToudensSibs and receiving some compliments about it. Look at that blushieblush and the tail wag. She's def getting attentions.

DO: Gabriele-Michael-Sole

rate: 6/10

This looks like everyone's typical first OC back in middle school, that one OC you pray no one will ever remember again. Love this vibe for it.

DO: Michael-Sole-Gabriele

rate: 7/10

Don't get me rong this tiger is magnifique, the head belongs to a character Michael's has been working on lately. It just doesn't get extra point cause we all figured out where the drawing was going while we were completing it so yeah it came out really good to no-one's surprise.

DO: Michael-Gabriele-Sole

rate: 7/10

Came out nicely but nothing really catches my attention.

DO: Sole-Gabriele-Michael

rate: 8/10

It looks soooo polite, so well behaved, so into art and crafts, so passionate about country tip-tap. It's just the kinda guy I wanna date frfr AND GIIIIRLLLL THAT MUSTACHE SLAYSSS! Look at the details too! we have a butterfly bowtie and not one but two pair of shiny boots. I mean c'mon ladies, get in line!

DO: Michael-Sole-Gabriele

rate: 9/10

This is our water best boi, it's marvellous cause it's yellow and collecting shoes it's his hobby! We still don't know what method he uses to acquire these many spare shoes but we felt shy asking such a personal question.

DO: Sole-Michael-Gabriele

rate: 9/10

Miss Marbles! Yall can tell she's quite the refined lady, she occasionally gets really grumpy but I forgive her, after all who doesn't get upset hearing a mechanical racket following you all day while you do your office job? Guys let's all have some patience.

DO: Sole-Gabriele-Michael

rate: 10/10

I don't know if my friends agree with my chart up until now, but I'm sure they agree this one is absolutely the best one out of all of them. We are actually discussing turning this into a proper poster cause the perfection left us all speechless. Well not really speechless, we actually proceeded to compliment this drawing for a good half an hour lol. We are still unsure how to call this beautiful creature but if you read untill here and are invested, you can totally suggest names for it!

Have a nice day/night everyone!

[idiasmentalhealth]

yo so this is really weird but im tryna think of names inspired by cozier songs and I see that you have a case of the hyper fixation so if it suits your fancy could you perhaps like think of some (no pressure at all btw)

i'm not entirely sure if i'll be much help but i will try my best :)

and p.s. a lot of his song reference stories i don't know much about and i'm willing to do some research to understand it but not that much so 😭

(edit note: i wrote this last night and stayed up till like 3am i think and i was gonna proofread it today but i was too busy/lazy and forgot to and i don't wanna take too long to reply so here you go good luck lol) i probably put way more effort into this than you wanted me to from the ask buttt too late now

ok so i'll start with the easier songs (the ones with actual names in the lyrics/title)

1.

"But, still, the mind, rejectin' this new empty space

Fills it with somethin' or someone

No closer could I be to God Or why he would do what he's done"

"What you're given, what you live in Darlin', it finds a way to live in you And your heart, love, has such darkness I feel it in the corners of the room"

Selby: gender-neutral name meaning "manor village; from the willow farm"

note that these songs are inspired by the fictional character De Selby. Hozier describes him as "-this philosopher, this kind of scholar, who's kind of part genius part lunatic. He sees the world through a very dream-like logic." its up to you if you want to name ur character after a song inspired by another character or not lol

here's a cool little description of the name on thebump.com: "Selby is a gender-neutral name of English origin, meaning “manor village.” Softly alluding to a place of dwelling in Yorkshire, England, Selby is a wholesome moniker that feels like home the minute it’s spoken. Selby is also a name linked to Old Norse history and points to a person or thing “from the willow farm.” Known for its connections to the Underworld and Otherworld, willow trees, in all their cosmic wonder, put realms beyond imagination right at our fingertips. Both an abode and a bridge to a land existent only in legends, Selby inspires us to look beyond what our eyes can see but reminds us to stay grounded while we’re at it!"

and hozier's other song "Would That I" also references willow trees so in a way it's inspired by 3 songs?

2.

"Do you think I'd give up

That this might've shook the love from me

Or that I was on the brink?

How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily?

Now that it's done

There's not one thing that I would change

My life was a storm, since I was born

How could I fear any hurricane?"

"Heaven is not fit to house a love (like you and I)"

This song is about the story of Francesca da Ramini in the 2nd circle of hell. Basically Francesca has an affair with Paolo Malasta because of how unpleasant her husband (Paolo's brother) is. Eventually they get found out and her husband kills them. She's saying that even though she's in the 2nd circle of hell (where lustful souls are punished by somekind of hurricane) she doesn't regret loving Paolo and would do it all again. - a summary of a comment on genius.com about the lyrics

Francesca: feminine name meaning "free."

similar names: Francis, Francisca/o

you could also use Paolo (meaning "small; humble) if you want

3.

"I do not have wings, love, I never will

Soarin' over a world you are carryin'

If these heights should bring my fall

Let me be your own

Icarian carrion

If the wind turns, if I hit a squall

Allow the ground to find its brutal way to me

If I should fall, on that day

I only pray, don't fall away from me"

clearly referencing icarus, the man who flew too close to the sun

Icarus: "follower; the one who reaches the sky"

4.

"I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus

When her body was found"

"And I'd be the immediate forgiveness

In Eurydice

Imagine being loved by me"

Orpheus: "the darkness of night"

Eurydice: "wide justice"

similar names: Alice, Justyce, Justin/e

ok now to get more creative

or not. quite a few of his songs reference light/darkness and there are a LOT of names that reference either one of those 😭 here's some examples:

light/shinning/clear/etc:

Phoebe, Clara, Nora, Lucian, Lucius, Elena, Ayla, Claire, Bodhi, Lucia

dark/shadow/etc:

Adriana, Achlys, Akmad, Apollo, Azazel, Asra, Carey, Colin, Corvina, Cronan

now back to "Would That I," he describes 2 kinds of loves in this song: the willow tree and the fire. thr willow being a past love, and the fire being the new that burnst away the attachment to the old. or something like, that im tired.

could always use Willow, which i think is a pretty name.

other names meaning willow tree: Dozier (haha), Arava, Salton, Wellesley, Liu, Wilford, Osier, Vide, Lian, Verba

names meaning fire: Ember, Bedelia (goddess of fire in Celtic mythology), Bridget, Calida, Cyra, Enya, Eliane, Elidth, Elidi, Hestia, Helia, Idalia, Mehri, Soleil, Seraphina, Oriane, Nina (also mentioned in "Nina Cried Power" which is a protest song)

speaking of Nina Cried power, a list of all the names in the song just in case: Nina Simone, Billie Holiday, Mavis Staples, Curtis Mayfield, Patti Smith, John Lennon, James Brown, B.B. King, Joni Mitchell, Pete Seeger, Marvin Gaye, Bob Dylan, Woody Guthrie. These are all names of musicians who contributed to the battle for equality over the years (Civil Rights Movement and other such protests) not sure if you'd want to name your character one of these since it wouldn't exactly be naming them after a Hozier song, but i felt like i should mention them anyways

other names mentioned in song lyrics but i'm too tired to do more researching rn: Cher, Atlas, Fred, Sergei (Sergei Polunin, the dancer in the music video for "Movement")

[the-owl-tree]

not to be cringe but do you have any advice for running a character ask blog? Aiming for something kinda lowkey like with Bean (also I love bean. I love to see what she’s up to)

not sure how helpful some of these will be since they're just what i do for my personal projects but for sure!!!

uuuuhhh basic overview stuff

if you're doing an oc blog, chances are it probably won't receive as much attention as a canon character/story blog. just sort of the way things go! if you want to draw some attention, you might want to think about non-ask related stuff you can post (clangen blogs do this with the mini event posts, keeps the world moving!)

even with canon character blogs, giving pieces of character lore, worldbuilding, mini stories can help keep the world more alive. but that's when you got time and if it seems fun, you should just do things if you want to tbh

i keep all my stuff in a doc and add and edit whenever i put new info on the blog to keep things consistent. i just put them in little sections to help me find things (beanie lore, worldbuilding, spirits, etc.) but simple bullet points are easy.

if you're doing an original character and world, i would highly recommend giving your readers some worldbuilding and lore to help them invest themselves. people don't know the boundaries of things and while you can have them ask, a little nudge definitely helps.

for a canon blog, i'd pick a specific time period. it'll save you grief if you know who's alive and who isn't, as well as the grief that comes with trying to figure out what you want to change (if you want to change things that is. i like fucking with canon but it really is up to you and the story you want to tell).

you can improvise it as you go, but i do recommend jotting them down somewhere after the fact so you can keep things consistent. up to you though, i just have a piss poor memory lol

figure out if you want to try and do an overarching story, mini stories, or no stories. you don't have to decide right away and you can even decide after you start the blog and get a vibe of what people are interested in, but sometimes it is good to jot them down if they come to you right away.

you're supposed to have fun if you're not having fun don't do it, take a break from the blog or steer it in the direction you want. no one is paying you (i think) so everything you do you should do because you enjoy doing it.

art for an ask blog (if ur doing art if not skip this)

your main character should be easy to recreate on model and most importantly: fun to draw!!! overly complicated character designs are fun in the beginning but after five or more you're going to start to hate them.

i'd also recommend against doing too many tiny "floating" bits, keeping things attached to a body part or in proximity to a space easy to recreate them will save you grief. i learned this the hard way after i kept forgetting all those damn tiny scars i put on my fallen stars!firestar design. in comparison, beanie's design for the blog has a few scars but the placement makes it so they're easy to recreate and draw.

(how i style my reference sheets. do not be me. do not fall into hubris and add so many damn floaty scars to a character that is the main damn character of your goddamn big ass au blog. fucking icarus move lol)

if you introduce a new character, make an easy quick ref sheet for yourself. it'll save you grief and keep things consistent.

i'd also figure out if you want to do colors or no colors. no coloring means you have more time to put effort into sketches and can just move faster if you're looking for something breezy and easy. but colors look good, they make it easier to tell cats apart and are just much nicer on the eyes. if you also have a bigger cast in mind, you can rely on colors a little more than body shapes to make sure everyone can be told apart

i color my sketch lines different colors for different characters on the beanie blog but there are plenty of other ways to make sure characters are told apart! @/askcinders does distinct shapes and different base colors for different characters and lines distinct markings so you can tell whose who.

backgrounds are...difficult. i'd recommend simplicity over complexity and save big backgrounds for "big moments", but it's up to you if you like them! i would just say go simple since the focus of these blogs are the characters.

theeeeennn speech bubbles or no speech bubbles. i like doing doing speech bubbles within the text because it gives me more control of the order the reader will read the dialogue, how they read it, the emotions i can elicit from it, and more fun with how i can place the dialogue. buuuuuut that does mean spacing them, and spacing dialogue bubbles can be a pain since it takes up room if you forget to sketch their placement in the original sketch (which i do. a lot).

so the other option is art and then dialogue underneath directly in the post. this saves you room, makes art probably a lot easier, and circumvents the issue of difficult to read speech bubbles! i do both but it's up to you, both methods are tried and true.

aaannnndd that's all that comes to mind? really it's just about having fun. as you work at it, chances are you'll probably figure out your own individual work style. best of luck (and i'm very excited to see what you come up with)!!!!!!!

[thotsforvillainrights]

Happy anniversary!

Which got me craving form some mla headcanon

What would they be like in when their wedding anniversary comes up?

(You can make one for yourself too! If you man doesn’t mind?)

(Thank you! I wish I had gotten to this one sooner ahhh! Anyway, as much as I want to I think I'll write this for everyone else this time instead of myself. Although the temptation was really strong lol)

~MLA Wedding Anniversary~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

-Redestro: He's definitely got everything planned out way ahead of time so you never need to worry about him forgetting your anniversary. This goes double for any other special day, holiday, or birthday on your calendar. He's a very caring and attentive lover and if he were to ever even forget for just a moment, then he'd be sulking on himself for the rest of the year. He's ready and willing to let you pick your activity for the day whether that be a private flight out to somewhere you want to really visit, or just a regular old day at the house with each other. Don't make any mistake thinking he's going to always be like this though! He also likes to take initiative and plan certain dates out so that you know he's wanting to be involved and not just passive about what you do together.

-Trumpet: The type of guy to buy you something and then give it to you immediately afterwards. Seriously...Trumpet has bought a lot of stuff for you anniversary and each time he ends up giving it all to you before the day even gets there. The others like to tease him about how hard it was when he had to hide the proposal from you haha! Anyway, he's my headcanon for a romantic and sappy man. He loves being cheesy and he loves it even more when you give it right back to him. He's going to be slightly annoying and all in your face during this day more than any other so be prepared for that as well. He just can't help himself when it comes to you.

-Geten: Isn't like this all the time, but definitely forgot back when you had your first anniversary. Depending on how chill you are is how long you were upset at him about it for. He's probably not the best at buying you things as gifts. If you tell him you like one specific thing then he'll continue to get you that one thing for a very VERY long time. This may be cool if you're that type of person, but if you're not then...good luck I suppose. Aside from this, he has a harder time expressing to you how he feels about you. It's a surprise he was even able to make his own vows at the wedding (although you suspect Chitose, Koku, and Rikiya had a hand to play in it). Even so, he's still very much in love with you.

-Curious: Usually tries to buy you things all the time as her love language. On your anniversary she holds off on buying things and actually tries to make stuff instead. It helps her to also feel better since she doesn't have much time these days to do anything dealing with hobbies or creativity. One year in particular she spent an entire night before your anniversary teaching herself how to make homemade candles just so she could gift you one over dinner the next day. She figures it's the small things that really mean the most and hopefully in your eyes, it's true.

-Skeptic: Like Geten, isn't very romantic. It's a big shock still to everyone (and to himself) that he was able to land a wife/husband/spouse like you. Hell, it's a shock he was able to get into a relationship in the first place. I like to think of him as someone that values their own private space, and their time even more so. However, he'd be lost without you now that he has you in his life. That's why (even if it damn near kills him) he manages to at least attempt some grand romantic gesture. This could be anything from taking you to your favorite place, to gathering hand picked roses for your bouquet. He loves you and you mean a lot to him. That's why he puts in so much effort. Be sure to let him know how you feel. It can really make him feel appreciated after everything is said and done. If you're lucky then you might even get one of his rare, gentle smiles.

[ninjahiccups]

Hi there! I saw in one of Songbird of Asgard's chapters that you headcanon Heimdall as demi - do you have any other Heimdall headcanons you would like to share with us? Sincerely, a definitely-not-Heimdall-content-starved anon.

I have a few, though I don't want to share some of them just yet since they would give away things that happen in SoA later on.

-Like I said, I hc Heimdall as demi. Gender identity really doesn't matter to him so long as he can tolerate someone and trust them enough to accept them (which is the real hard part lol)

-Heimdall is a little shit, that much we know. I like to think that applies to people he's close to as well, but in a different way. He'll give them sass and do annoying things to them just for the fun of it. Short? He puts things on the top shelf just to watch them go crazy looking for it, then casually reveal that he moved it after they've lost their mind just to watch them blow up. Have a pet peeve? You better believe he's doing the exact thing that pisses them off every chance he gets. Neat freak? He will 100% walk into their space and fuck it up. If they're someone who will push his buttons right back at him for revenge it turns into a never-ending war of pranks and sass and just messing with each other, and he's too prideful not to have the last laugh.

-Speaking of caring, Heimdall is an all or nothing kinda person, so if he cares, he goes all out. He'll be a selfish, snobby prick to everyone else, expecting them to meet his needs and expectations because they aren't worthy of his time and effort. But if someone's earns his trust and becomes important to him, he will do anything for them. There are limits to how far he'll go depending on the circumstances, but he is devoted to the people he values.

-The same can't really be said for animals, unfortunately. Yes, he respects them, but in the end he sees them as tools that can outlive their usefulness, hence his reaction when Gulltoppr dies. T_T Though he could grow to care for an animal as well, but it would take a lot. It boils down to how he perceives external bonds, seeing them as valuable only if they benefit him (we can thank ol' Odin for that) and he has to get very, VERY close to people to let go of that idea be as devoted as I described above.

-I see him as being 6'0, 6'2ish max. I know Kratos is 6'4, and it looks like Heimdall isn't *too* much shorter than him? (This would make Eivor about 5'5 in SoA)

-Based on the God of War: Lore and Legends book, I'm guessing Heimdall is not too much older than Baldur? The book states Odin and Freya were married about 125 years before GoW 2018 and Baldur came along 5 years later. Freya clearly knows Heimdall, and considering she doesn't care for him at all makes me think she never saw him grow up (if she did I honestly think she would cut him some slack since she has a soft spot for children). That would mean Heimdall would have to be an adult by the time Freya came around, making him at least 135ish? BUT he still seems a lot younger than the other gods like Tyr and Thor based on appearance alone, so he can't be too much older. I hc he's 150ish, which is still very young compared to most other gods.

-My mans is touch-starved and you can't convince me otherwise. So force this man into a hug for god's sake, he just can't admit he needs it so someone has to take it into their own hands.

-He appreciates the arts. Literature, architecture, visual art, music, anything like that. He's just very picky about what he likes.

-I subscribe to the idea that his fate would have been different if just one person cared about him. He would have had one reason to trust someone other than Odin, and that could have changed his perspective completely. Odin likely never allowed that to happen specifically to keep Heimdall under his thumb.

-He does drink, but it's more of an Asgardian culture thing than a letting loose thing. He never gets drunk and has no desire to be.

-His favorite color is gold (shocking, I know).

-He had to learn how to control his foresight in his youngest years. It's always warned him about anything that's coming at him, but actually *reacting* to it in an efficient way was something he had to work on. He wouldn't have been able to catch arrows when he was a teenager, just duck out of the way of them. Of course, his mastery over this skill is part of what makes his ego so enormous.

-My dude is an indoors enjoyer. He very much likes neat environments, clean floors, organization. Outdoors is only nice in the short term, but ask this man to go camping? No way, bruh. You'd have to work to get him to sit on the ground, let alone SLEEP on it.

-Between Heimdall's snarkiness and Atreus's smart mouth, I see so much annoying sibling energy between them. If things had been different, Heimdall would have definitely been like a smartass, I'm-better-than-you older brother, and Atrues would have been the flat-out irritating, Nuh-uh-your-face-is-stupid younger brother. I will ride or die with the idea that the god of order and the god of mischief would piss each other off like brothers who beat each other up for fun. I may or may not plan to hint at this is SoA at some point ;)

(Side note, this blog DOES ***NOT*** support Heimtreus shipping. That last headcannon is strictly in a platonic and familial kind of way)

That's all I can think of right now, other than the ones that would give some things away is SoA. I hope you enjoyed that anon!!!

[misc-obeyme]

🪿anon here Hey hello! I thought I put in another ask before the one you replied to, but I think tumblr ate it somewhere between you and me. So sorry about the confusion, you didn't miss me at all. Your reply was lovely and I loved reading about your headcanons, especially how Mammon would totally biff people with his wings. Ask game time tho! 🦈 What is the character you have the hardest time writing? And as a bonus, if you're up for it: 💛 What's an impactful lesson you've learned about writing? I'm a fellow (and often struggling) writer and I love hearing what other people have to share, especially in the fandom space. Honks and hisses! 🪿

Ahhh okay, that explains it! Tumblr has been known to eat asks on occasion! Phew, I'm glad I didn't miss you! I'll go ahead and add your emoji to the list now!! Ah, I'm glad you liked my reply too I felt bad that it was so lengthy lol.

🦈 What is the character you have the hardest time writing?

Siiiiigh it's Levi. I'm much better with him now than I used to be, but I really struggled with him for a long time. His anxiety really reminded me of myself irl, so I had a hard time separating the anxiety of his character from my own. And this was an issue for me because it messed with my characterization of him.

I also struggle with Mammon sometimes. This is because I think the fandom's version of him and the canon version of him are different. So my brain is always flip flopping between them when doing his characterization. And I was so worried about writing him OOC that I would just kinda... not write for him much at all? But then I kinda reconciled it by deciding I was going to write my version of him and just own it! LOL.

💛 What's an impactful lesson you've learned about writing?

Ohh an interesting question! I would say the understanding that there is no "right" way to write a story. You get to decide what works for you. Even if a lot of other writers swear by doing this one thing, you only need to do it if it actually helps you. Otherwise, chuck it!

Specifically to fandom things, though, I would also add that having fun is the most important thing. How other people react to your writing is not an indication of how good it is. Things like how active a fandom is, how popular a ship is (if you're writing a ship), how many people are looking for this specific genre (e.g. fluff, angst, etc), all of that is going to impact how people react to what you wrote. You might have written the most exquisite novel length fic ever, but if it's about something not a lot of people are interested in, you might get only a handful of comments/reblogs/likes etc.

So the important thing to focus on for fanfic is how you feel about writing it. Write things you enjoy, write for yourself. You're spending a lot of time and effort and energy on that story. Make sure it's one that you're proud of, no matter how people respond to it.

I'm writing Arsenios's story and it's been such an amazing experience. I absolutely love it and I'm throwing my whole heart & soul into it. But OC stuff rarely has the same engagement as canon. So when I finally start posting it, I won't be surprised if it doesn't do very well, especially compared to some of my other stuff.

But the thing is, it won't matter. I'm writing that story because I love it, because it's fun, because it makes me happy. So how well it does or doesn't do won't impact the experience I got out of writing it.

OOF sorry to ramble so much, but I hope that makes some sense! I just think people get too hung up on numbers and things (myself included lol) when really that's not the thing that matters most!

Ahaha but I could write about writing all day... I guess it's my special interest. :)

Anyway, thank you for asking!

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

[queenlua]

let's see about 5, 11, 12, 13 for the ask meme?

5. What game would you recommend to someone new to the series?

ugh this is so HARD because i don't think there's any game that's perfect for this...

if they're new to the series but have enjoyed at least a couple older video games at some point (and thus have some tolerance for a bit of gameplay cruft and GBA-era rough edges), i'd be really tempted to throw Sacred Stones at them. absolutely gorgeous sprites, good music, probably the most solid/focused/best-executed story in the series, fun support conversations, and very good gameplay whose only flaw is "it's kinda too easy." but it's satisfying and if someone likes everything about it but "too easy," then that's an easy problem to fix with subsequent games lol

i suspect Awakening is probably the objectively-better answer, though. first "modern"-feeling FE in terms of how streamlined and nice the mechanics feel, the depth/multiplicity of strategies, the storyline is weaker but still has definite highlights (especially when the kids show up), etc

Three Houses is a solid contender but the game is kind of bloated with extras that i think can make playing it feel like a bit of a drag; i know a lot of people who just kinda flaked out or gave up b/c of all the monastery stuff, and i wouldn't want someone's first FE to end that way

i do love the Tellius games but i wouldn't recommend them as starter games. the 3d sprites are kinda ugly and it definitely shows its age a bit in terms of gameplay cruft

11. A character that deserved better?

Edelgard, tbh. she's fantastic when the game isn't trying to make her all woobie/waifu/etc. wouldn't even take many changes to fix this one!

also Renning. i love what's on the page but he gets so little and shows up so late. give the dude some damn base conversations plz

also Meg. the game is so mean to her, goddamn.

12. A game that deserved better?

oh boy. the problem here is, if i finished playing an FE game, that means i liked it well enough over all, even if there's stuff i didn't like. like, i wish Awakening's storyline was stronger, but it definitely feels like it executed on exactly what it wanted to do, so i wouldn't say the game deserves better per se

so i guess i'll say the two FE games i tried and failed to play:

fe6: i ragequit on the map with the fucking reinforcements that move the same turn that they spawn. motherfuckers. why

fe14: i was already pretty "eh" on the story and then that one fucking "defend [x] turns" map (unhappy reunion iirc) took SO much finicky effort to survive that by the time i finished it i was like. ugh. i'm so tired. and then i put it down for a while and never picked it back up oops

13. What do you like most about Fire Emblem?

...god this is going to make me sound SO uncultured but, the support conversations, especially in the older games, are just so delightful. delightful in-and-of-themselves (especially when they would happen DIRECTLY ON THE BATTLEFIELD lmao), and also, were probably weirdly influential in how i thought about game writing / writing generally. conveyed a huge amount of personality & implied huge things about the world & in a relatively small space; and also refused to let anyone be just a rando soldier in your army; you can look back at short fiction i wrote in middle school and see how much i was striving to get that huge-cast-small-space-feel in that format. simple but effective approach

also it's nice to have a big-name game series that executes so well on story and gameplay, on average. i've played a lot of Final Fantasy and i love those games but. often the gameplay is just kinda mediocre/grind-y, right, and i'm forcing my way through for the story? could NOT be fire emblem lol

[constantvariations]

Rwby V9C2. This time i decided to put all my thoughts down as i watched the episode (i know most folks do this as a massive series of reblogs. No thanks lol)

You know its gonna be a gr8 episode when the very first line is a disingenuous trope aware quip. No wonder at the new world, no anxiety about how to get home. Nope! Just... bland disinterest. Did Joss Whedon join crwby?

I hate Little so goddamn much. Idk if yall read that one teaboot post where they talk about their hatred of Olaf from Frozen but I am reaching that level of irrational fury

As much as I like the uses of sweat drops and pop animation and frustration speech bubbles because they're delightful anime visual tropes... it's wayyy to late to be introducing those now. This would be like adding farting unicorns to The Walking Dead after half the cast was eaten. Again. Once more, I am asking what the fuck the tone is supposed to be here

Why is it called the Ever After? Wonderland rolls off the tongue way better and makes more sense for the name of a new world/dimension/whatever

So glad to be getting the exposition on the girl who fell through the world now instead of any organic weaving into dialogue prior. I love getting my information shoved down my throat all at once

I do actually like them discussing the tale. Different takeaways from the same story are always fun. Wish it could've lasted longer, I really want more conversations between these guys that aren't always directly about the plot

Okay, Weiss's doubts are good to hear. Sound like a lot of the stuff we've been saying, which may or may not be on purpose. Strange she doesn't mention her family at all, though, just the downfall of Atlas. Would've been really interesting to hear her thoughts on her parents and brother

Little needs to die. Now.

Weiss going back and forth between freaking out about the impracticality of their situation and taking charge when impracticality occurs is jarring. Maybe it's the smaller nonsense she can handle and not the big, abstract stuff? Guess we'll see

"I've always wanted to be long, but I'm still small." That's the funniest thing crwby has written in the last 5 seasons and it goes to the worst character. Typical rwby lol

Yang is absolutely intolerable in this auction bit. Knowing she's in a strange and illogical world, her first instinct is to be a cop? I've seen children act less petulant than her. Also, any item bought is probably more easily stolen from the buyer than the racoon, so why isn't that even on the table right now?

Did these idiot townsfolk really not know the gimmick? He's been at this long enough to be immortalized in a fairy tale, and I highly doubt there's enough space in Wonderland for him to never visit the same place twice. Unless everyone's memories get reset after a certain point, they should damn well know the coon is a con

Also that sword looks like it should be in Halo. Guess old habits die hard

Not this fucking Scooby Doo shit again. Can these characters stop interacting with the loop de loop sections before I throw my computer into the sun?

Wait that's Penny's sword? It's ugly as shit why you gotta do Penny dirty like that again

I find Ruby's expression of depression to be highly unbelievable. The excuse for so long has been that she's been hiding her emotions for the sake of everyone else, which is a fair enough point, but now there's not even a token effort. No obviously painful smiles, no jokes she breaks partway through, no overcompensating by hyping up too much. Ruby might as well be the goth girl at the top of the skyscraper from the All Star Superman comic for all the characteristically realistic depiction of depression she has

It worked well enough when she was alone and didn't have to fake for anyone - which is why everyone was so excited for Ruby to finally be free to break - but that was nipped right in the bud, and nothing has grown in its place. It's just... disappointing

[roseriot2191]

Entry 1/Introductions

hey!

so i really havent used tumblr before really so im not sure if this is the best place for what im doing but regardless im posting it here

~welcome to my blog~

the purpose is to document my life as a whole but its also my senior year so even more reason to record it!

this blog will be my safe space to spill anything, the good and the bad, of my upcoming life. in all honesty im not sure how well ill keep up with posts or how much effort ill end up putting into them but i will try to update at least once a week for sure.

ok so now onto me :)

hello again! im rose, i use he/they pronouns and i am 17. for anyone wonder, which i dont know why but i guess i can just state it to get it out of the way, im a cis queer guy. i use queer as my label because i very much dislike labels for myself lmao. im attracted to men way more often than not but if the right person for me isnt a guy the im not going to let gender/sex get in the way of love and im not sure pansexual really fits the way i feel. queerness ill say is a part of me but not something i identify with as much as i did in middle school. ill make a separate post about this perhaps. (ill mention that my name isnt actually rose irl and its just my pen name for the blog. i have no reason to be secretive really besides to hide my identity from friends, family and people who think they might know me, especially with the topics i might write about, but also i didnt put too much effort into disconnection rose and myself so if youre one of my irl friends, hi :p ) i am a high school student, but i am mostly taking college classes at a community college. im a photo major! photography is a recent thing that i started basically the same time i started college. i sorta took a leap into photo classes and decided that i might as well major in it since ive always been a creative person and since my high school was paying for my tuition. honestly college has been really fun but its school and sometimes i get burnt out really easily which sucks. ill probably talk about this more some other time. i havent really decided on a style of photography that i prefer yet but this fall ill start a portraiture lighting class as well as a color theory class, both im really excited for.

recently ive found myself changing or perhaps growing into a more typical "teenager" recently. this growth is a drastic change from who i was as a kid and that sort of scares me but i think i like the idea of who i can become. i started taking an interest in cars which sort of came out of know where. it might be because i got my license last december and have been driving a lot more but its also rooted in my ex too. (at the begging of this summer i got into a relationship with this guy who was my first everything, and we also ended it in july which hurt hella but again this is a topic for another post later) he was a total car guy and it was something we were bonding over. he would teach/talk about cars and i listened and started to take an actual interest. we went to a few car shows and it was honestly a prefect date/hangout for us because he liked cars of course but i also got to bring my camera and take photos. definitely something i miss doing. my first car was a 2004 honda pilot. it was a manual and i tried learning how to drive it and i got the gist but ended up selling it and getting an automatic 2006 honda pilot lol. this car ive had since february and its lowkey dying now which pisses me. my grandpa was the one who ended up buying it for me which i appreciate very much dont get me wrong but he bought it off these sketchy guys and didnt get it checked out right away for any problems and now im paying extra money in repairs. currently im trying to save for something more "extra" like a mustang or a bmw or honestly an older honda like a prelude or accord, though on my salary as a host in a small restaurant i have barely $4.5k saved and i started work about the same time i got the 06 pilot. i know these cars are a bit on the pricey side but im giving myself till new years to save for something and if i dont find anything by then, ill keep my money in savings for college after i graduate. (that is with the hopes my 06 pilot lasts me through that long :,) )

so yeah. i work as a host at a restaurant. its my first job and i honestly really like it. i get paid $16.50 an hour and i get tipped out by the waitresses on top of that. on average i make about $500 in a pay period which is two weeks. i wish i had more hours but also i dont. i usually use work as an excuse to procrastinate or completely ignore school work which is really self destructive because i convince myself that im productive but in reality i need to be more focused on school. my work ethic is pretty good though i think. i always say yes if someone needs a cover or if i need to come in ealry/on a day off. after the break up i took a bunch of extra shifts and started taking caterings for longer hours and to keep me busy. in the past 2 pay periods i clocked about 50 hours each and made $850 each. this has again been really nice for savings but not for my summer classes. this pay period i had a double catering and i should clock in about 40 ish hours. ill have one more pay period after this one before i will talk to my manager about scheduling me only friday-sunday and see about scheduling me caterings more rather than hosting since i make more that way. theyre pretty good about accommodating hours/days which is really cool but my manager always complains. i feel bad but also i really shouldnt because i need to do better in school first and i already do so much more than what i get paid for honestly so she really doesnt have any reason to say anything. (especially since we just hired 3 new girls after the summer hires left) all my coworkers love me but also everyone shit talks eachother behind their backs so i always wonder if they say anything about me lol. if they are then they should put that energy somewhere else because how are you guys gonna shit talk a 17 year old when you all are 25+???

my music taste is the opposite in regards to changing drastically. i find myself returning to the music i grew up with and even expanding with similar artists. for a quick family overview my step dad who raised me since i was three was/is a tattoo artist and very much in the punk scene. my mom was in the artistic performance and alternative scene. both these adults raised a very punk baby with all the classics and now like i said, after not really interested or listening to music often for awhile, im back to my roots. this is very comforting however when me and my ex were dating he was a big influence in the reintroduction. so do i corrilate some music to him? yes. does it hurt? im not sure. its very confusing but i listen to it on blast regardless and will most likely have hearing problems by the time im 30 T~T a lot of what ive been listening to on repeat is radiohead which was "our band" and i still think it is. im a very sentimental person and cant/wont diconnect these feelings probably ever. i do this a lot. this time though i havent had the urge to stop listening which is a reliefe because i enjoy the music but also because i think itd hurt me if i found hate or sadness in the music rather than the love and bond we once shared through these songs. something ive been considering is posting a song with every post or at the very least at the end of the week. maybe even a playlist at the end of the month? not sure yet. i think music tatse is something that changes with me all the time so its something worth recording here. oh also i def will post cd hauls here too! i have a small collection started but definetely wanna get more.

lets see i dont read often but my favorite books are alice in wonderland, the warden's daughter, they both die at the end, coraline and currently i am reading solitaire by alice oseman. ive read her heartstopper series and have taken a serious interest in tori's story. for my favorite shows i binge watch shows so often and then forget about them just as fast as i watch them lol. i really like soul eater, downtown, daria, the midnight gospel, the walking dead, initial d, madoka magica, and some others i cant think of right now.

hmm~ i cant really think about anything else to write at the moment, plus ive been typing for awhile and should get to bed, so i think ill end it here.

i dont really expect anyone to read this blog in all honesty but its something i wanna do for myself and if a few people take interest or relate to anything i talk about i think thats enough :)

[furrbbyx]

Hello, I just discovered your blog, and I wanted to say two things:

1) Your Satyr story is extremely good, it appealed to me so damn much, I loved it. Just such a stellar combination of kinks, and I do appreciate that it's a male reader story, those seem a little rare.

2) I've seen the Sable photoshoots you've done, and I adore them. She seems like a very fun character, she's a bubbly anthro unicorn girl but she can also become giant? Absolutely galaxy-brained 😍 Though I don't agree with her opinion that modeling is only about looking good and not a skill, it's clear take a lot of effort (and just putting myself in your shoes, I imagine they take a lot of confidence too). Placing those little figurines must be a pain in the ass.

My point is, your blog is a gem, and keep up the good work 👋

You👏🏿Get👏🏿It👏🏿

Thank you for the kind words, and for enjoying my content. You're right I put a lot of effort into my OC and my stories, and I should act like it. Lol.

But it's really worth it to reach people like you. You made me grin like a fool, and I read this so many times before responding.

I'm a confident person in general. I won't say Sable and I wear the same type of clothes exactly but we do steal from each other's closets.

Coming into the furry/size difference space did take more self-love than usual. I get a lot of anonymous comments about how my body type doesn't belong, or how I'm sick in the head for fetishizing fatness, which I ignore. I'm just making fetish content as a fat person. I love fat bodies and the way it brings something special to Sable's character.

I've got a few more big-brain ideas left for the male readers. I hope you stick around. Knowing I have another fan like you is the reason I get up and write a cum bath scene and take 45 pictures of my booty ;D

xoxo