#I probably didn't make any sense
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Secret Saturdays?? I've never heard of this before. A brief google looks interesting though. Curious why you reckon it'd go with Danny Phantom?
Honestly? Vibes.
If you liked Danny Phantom for the ghost aspect, for the superhero show that wasn't really a superhero show, for the ridiculous fight scenes, or the few semi serious fights, and sorta overarching "plot" that you could kinda see if you squinted you'd probably like Secret Saturdays.
They aren't the same at all, but they're both a fun watch. SS is more of a serious show kinda like Teen Titans, but it's got that cryptid aspect that puts it in the same wheelhouse as DP under the Supernatural Action unbrella. It's not always serious, but the adventures are fun. The main character is a kid just like Danny that doesn't always want the responsibility that his family and he take up but usually does because "who else will?"
Honestly, I think SS is better than DP, but it was a very niche show that never quite got the recognition it deserved. I'm not sure if I really made any sense here, but those are my thoughts anyway. I can really only speak for myself. For me, at least, it was one of the shows I latched onto and didn't want to let go of as a kid. Danny Phantom, Teen Titans, Secret Saturdays, they all were hyper fixations at/around the same time for me. (And it drove my parents crazy 🤣)
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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Ah, childhood memories (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Gaster#Having such clear external-view memories of what happened when they were young would probably give Sans a lot of ammunition lol#Not that they'd know any different - their poor memories honestly :( - but having such clear memories in places would have to be weird#Most people have childhood amnesia to an extent! Tho it's hard to say when that would've applied to them anyway with their sped-up growth#Not to mention the trauma#And it's possible that doesn't apply to Monsters to begin with lol - but it's all a moot point anyway since these are their only memories!#It's sad to think of how much of themselves are missing forever since Gaster didn't experience them :(#This is what happens when you get behind on your work >:0#I really wonder what their lack of memories/restoration of memories would do for their like/dislike of certain things!#Like how Papyrus says that sitting with Sans in his lap makes a lot of sense as to why it was so familiar and comforting#But also that knowing makes it sad as well :( Knowing recolours their understanding and interpretation!#Knowing Why makes things make sense but does it actually Help? It's a tough question - certainly it hurts in the moment#The little things Gaster has infected for them and for himself ♥ Like taking notes! Like chess and sweets and spaghetti and lab coats#And dark sweaters and cigarette smoke and hugs and intelligence - how many pieces of all of them have A Feeling attached#How many more have A Memory - and even more than that A Memory Lost and unrecoverable ughhh ♥#But the little things they can hold on to hehe <3 Like pinging Gaster for what they all know and remember#Why does he even keep coming over if he knows the reception he'll get? Lol#Feels particularly self-loathing and goes to get bullied as penance pfft
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Bruce: now, for the last part of this meeting
Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Damian, Cass, and Duke: ?
Bruce: -turns around to bring up a power point presentation, the title card of which just reads 'Please Be Normal About Tim'-
Bruce: -turns back around-
Bruce: ...Tim why are you the only one still here
Tim: I just like power point presentations
#Jason keeps beating up Tim and then chasing him around trying to get him to join him#including AFTER Tim kicked him directly in the balls#he had a whole murder board about Tim when he was stalking him#Damian also keeps trying to beat up/kill Tim and prove he is the 'superior Robin'#Dick is generally pretty chill but he and Tim have a history of getting into shenanigans together#also Dick has a tendency to go a bit feral when Tim is involved and hurt#Stephanie once said Tim had a 'bad case of the Stephs' and while I love that for her absolutely not#Cass neither wants to kill Tim nor be romantically entangled with him#which is good!#but like Dick she also goes along with his plans without as many follow up questions as she should probably have#and by 'as many' I mean 'any'#she pretended to stab him through the chest to throw off a bunch of assassins#and I'm pretty sure she didn't question a single second of it#Tim just turned to her like 'I have a fake sword and I need you to pretend to kill me with it'#Cass just gave a thumbs up with no follow-up questions#Duke#my beloved#I know he and Tim don't interact much in canon#but in my heart I feel he would not be normal about Tim either#like regular ass Tim Drake figuring out Batman's secret identity and deciding to just become Robin because Gotham and Batman need it?#attaching rockets to a skateboard to get around?#coming up with insane and convoluted plans and consistencies that don't make sense to anyone else?#plans and contingencies that WORK?#Duke would see Tim as aspirational and go along with whatever insane bullshit nonsense he comes up with just to see what happens#he would 100% be down for whatever Tim has planned and would absolutely feed into it#he just wants to crank that little chaos gremlin up to eleven and watch him go#Bruce is desperate to keep them from interacting in any capacity for longer than thirty seconds at a time because HE KNOWS#HE KNOWS what will happen if they ever team up#it's why he put them on separate shifts#for the record Bruce ALSO had to sit through this presentation
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>"winter event with winter themed items"
>look inside
>it's literally just christmas
[insert that image of a cat staring at the camera really close up]
#eido.log#long rant in tags ->#sorry but i unironically hate this with fictional settings that have winter festivities of any kind#This is literally just christmas. you could've made ANY holiday ever. you could've gotten COOL with it#but no it's literally just christmas but recolored slightly#you could've done ANYTHING. LITERALLY ANYTHING#this game has greek mythology influences. why christmas#if it's canon that like “”christmas“” is a thing like ok yeah sure just make it make sense#but plopping down christmas for a “”“WINTER EVENT”“” and nothing else is just. uaahhghhghh#please please please look at anything other than christmas for possible influences into the holiday or MAKE SOMETHING UP COMPLETELY!!!!#sorry i'm not normal about this when i'm currently hyperfixating on the game in question#it's not that hard to make a fictional holiday when you have an entire magic system and—#—historical worldbuilding spanning 1800+ years#just say that it's christmas. it's not a bad word. just say that it's a christmas event#it's ok that you didn't think of literally any other festivities or traditions that happen in the winter ( ig )#but i'm still very very disappointed#if it's just going to be christmas then just say it's a christmas event#because if they said it was a christmas event i probably wouldn't've cared#but i really hoped with “winter” it would've been like. actually winter winter and not just christmas
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number #1 tactic that people use to not sound as racist as they are when they talk to black people: 'uhh so you AMERICANS need to stop pretending everything is about YOU. why should i know this im not from the us :/' (= is talking about like. a phenomenally internationally well-known black artist)
#myposts#kendrick lamar#drake#i updated it from 'white europeans' to 'people' because some people pointed out that 'gringo' is probably more south american lingo#but the point i wanted to make is like. there is this subset of european people (quite a lot of them)#who try to deflect by saying them not knowing these things isn't because of an active lack of disinterest in black culture and influences#and like. them not knowing who a certain black person is is never an educational failing on their side of any sorts#but instead are pretending that like. they are by virtue of being european always correctly educated on What History And Art Is Important#like. 2 months back that one post pretending that 'us europeans dont need to know all your AMERICAN writers 🙄' talking about james baldwin?#like just because that person didnt know who james baldwin was#they immediately were mad at the implication that They Didn't Know Someone Of Cultural Significance#and twisted it into 'well he cant be that important by virtue of me not knowing him'#like completely ignoring that the european school system also has. race problems and also ignoring that he lived and wrote in France too#but like. its this really racist defence mechanism of like. 'well you stupid americans always make everything about yourselves'#i hope i make sense i didnt think this would blow up lol#and like some people in the notes of that post were so smug about not knowing who Kendrick Lamar is#bc to them thats like 'oh im too cultured to be listening to rap of any sorts' like completely dismissing his music as kind of second class#by virtue of it being rap and black music and him not being in the White Mainstream as much as other musicians#(i mean hes still like 24th most listened artist worldwide but you get what i mean)
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i will always find the relationship between javier and the fronteras endlessly fascinating and compelling especially because of the way it's shaped by the required narrative of the original novel versus what we see of them as people through the plot of tged. let me explain.
the thing about javier is that. he's not. a person when we first meet him. he's supposed to be a character. he's just about to go through his tragic backstory so he can then go on to be the hero of 'the knight of blood and iron'. this is what javier is. all his life before that is really nothing more than a footnote. the fronteras themselves are nothing more than extras that die in the very beginning of his story.
and this shapes the way their relationship is meant to be like. because they need to strike the right balance of them being close enough where it's justified for javier to be so loyal to arcos that he refuses to take any master after his death but not so close that javier feels the responsibility or has the authority to take over the estate after their deaths or even remain there at all to help in any way he can. for the sake of the narrative javier isn't allowed to really be a part of the frontera family despite being basically raised by them, because that would interfere with the plot destiny has set up for him.
and if that were it, that would be fine, no one would really pay that much attention to it because why would they. the only things that matters is that they kept javier alive, they were close to him in some regard and now they're dead. that's all that was needed from them for tkobai.
but then. lloyd happens. and he immediately derails the plot and saves the fronteras from death and javier from having to become an errant knight and now everyone is alive and free to continue their own lives and then we get to know arcos and marbella, not as just tragic extras of javier's story but as actual people with their own thoughts and feelings and. what we get to know about them doesn't quite track with their previous actions.
the arcos and marbella we get to know in tged?? they basically adopt lloyd as their son. lloyd. an adult stranger who replaced their son, kept the truth from them for years and who then came back looking nothing like their own kid. and they still love him and accept him as their child. by all accounts they straight up give him their family name, centuries later he's still known as lloyd frontera and nothing else.
this is the kind of people they are. the kind of people who would welcome a stranger into their family because he's kind and good and he's trying his best.
but you mean to tell me that these are the same people who took in a five year old orphan into their home and then just. kept him around. not really being a part of their family. they just raised him for 15 years and then took his oath as a knight and that was it. they don't even call him by his name. he's always 'sir asrahan'.
it doesn't make sense!! that doesn't track with the kind of people they are in tged! except it totally does if you remember they were never meant to be more than just extras. they were never meant to be more than some kind people javier is very distraught to lose but not enough to fall apart for.
that being said. there are a couple explanations that could be given in universe to explain why javier was never made a frontera, despite being taken in by them.
one is that they simply weren't allowed to adopt him. like someone in the replies of this post mentioned, some countries could be pretty strict about who nobles were allowed to adopt. maybe in the magentano kingdom it's the same and the fronteras couldn't legally make javier their child and so could only take him in as a ward or something similar.
or maybe they didn't want to take away one of the very few things javier has left of his family. he was a really small child when his parents were killed, he once mentions he doesn't even really remember his father, just a memory of waiting up for him late at night and that's it. he never really speaks of them nor does he seem to have a deeper connection or longing for them. by the time we meet him, all he has left of them is his name really. maybe when they took him in neither arcos nor marbella wanted to take away one of javier's last remains of his family by making him take their name.
or perhaps they thought adopting javier would cause them more harm than good. after all. they did have a little bastard of a son who took offense at the very existence of javier, despite javier just being *checks notes* a five year old orphan they picked up from the streets so he wouldn't starve or freeze to death. can you imagine the nightmare it would've been if javier had actually been adopted and not just taken in. if og lloyd had not only been forced to share a home but also his own name with him. it wouldn't have been pretty! and the one to pay for it would've certainly been javier! so maybe they thought the risk was simply too high. maybe they thought not giving him their name was a price worth paying to keep the peace at their home.
or maybe they simply didn't think it was their place. maybe they didn't want to make javier uncomfortable or force him into a relationship with them that he didn't want. maybe they wanted to wait until the loss was a little less recent, until the pain had had time to settle into something more manageable and then they just. missed the timing. maybe by the time they realized it was already too late and walls had formed between them that they didn't know how to take down.
in any case i simply don't believe that arcos and marbella are the kind of people to take in a child, raise him his whole life and then just. not feel anything deeper than fondness for him. it doesn't make sense from what we actually get to see of them.
i don't think their relationship with javier is that of parents with a child, but i also don't think it's as distant as what it looks like at first glance. personally i think it must be a mix of,,, habit, formalities and the awkwardness of a missed opportunity hanging between them that doesn't let them be as close as they would otherwise be. like. they all wish they could be something more, they wish the distance was a little shorter, they wish the walls between them could come down but they simply aren't sure how to do that anymore. they don't know if they missed their one chance and this is all that's left.
i don't know!! i just!! it's fascinating to me and i think about it far too much for it to be healthy!! halp!!
#i talk a lot <3#tged#the greatest estate developer#javier asrahan#arcos frontera#marbella frontera#this is dedicated to the person who asked me if i had forgotten about javier when i talked about the fronteras gushing about their children#i didn't <333#anyway!! i don't know if any of this makes any sense and i should probably try to get my point (whatever the hell it is) across#in a way that doesn't make me look like a crazy person but it is 1 am and i am officially going to sleep#goodnight <333
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Like. The last thing I'm going to say is that I see a lot of comments about how "Well Americans probably deserve whatever is coming to them" because [some variation of how we are all equally violent and stupid and of course we elected this guy] and I will be the FIRST one to go, "Fuck America for real, I hate it here" but. There are in fact millions of people who did not want this. Who actively fought against it and will continue to do so.
BELIEVE ME, I understand the impulse to go, "Well with all the shit America has done to the rest of the world, why should I feel bad for them." I understand that compassion fatigue is real. And I DEFINITELY don't think it's the rest of the world's job to fight my battles for me or prioritize my feelings above anyone else's.
But if people are worried for their safety. If they're scared. If they're wondering how they and the people they love are going to survive the next few years. If people are feeling despair and despondence over the fact that they are stuck in an absolutely hellish landscape they did not ask for. Just...please let them have that. You don't have to tell them that you think they deserve it.
#us politics#I just think that every vulnerable person who tried to prevent this probably would not in any way benefit or become a better person from#hearing 'you are acceptable collateral damage of the upcoming administration because America Sucks'#like my dudes I am not even asking you to HELP ME I know we all need to put on our own oxygen masks first. I am just asking you to have#a little bit of sympathy for the people who are about to go through an INCREDIBLE amount of struggle that they will have limited#individual power to fight against.#it's not hopeless! it's not! but this isn't like sw episode 4 where a single person can destroy the death star and the entire empire will#be directly and significantly kneecapped. there is only so much in this real world situation that one individual person can do.#a lot of people are going to have a harder time finding other people to connect with to get through this. all I'm asking is that you#do NOT make it harder on them by telling them their misfortune is brought on themselves for things they didn't do. or by telling them that#there is no way they can ever be happy or fulfilled or a good person.#there is NOTHING a person can do to 'deserve' the extreme loss of human rights that this party wants to make into a reality#if you believe that someone CAN ever 'deserve' the loss of those rights...#well I think that you and I are so fundamentally different in an ideological sense that there's no point in us speaking to each other
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For all my posts about Kotoko I'm surprised I never brought up that she literally dissociated during and/or blocked out memories of her attack on Kaneshiro. Let's break it down.
-At first we're in a small room, no windows in sight.
-Her attacking Kaneshiro WITH the light of the window illuminating the scene.
-This is also shown broken into parts with images of her mindspace place (which I've always interpreted as her dissociating) and also images of the other victims - or her depending on the theory you believe in - in between.
-Yep. Completely changed rooms. We do not see her fleeing into this room, may I say. She literally runs into the first room and then she's suddenly in this one with no indication that she moved. It's a very fuzzy memory that has large chunks seemingly just missing, since this is a look directly into her mind. I rest my case.
#milgram#kotoko yuzuriha#analysis#theory#Talking about my queen again I LOVE her more than life itself#This bad boy can fit so much emotional baggage in it#It's amazing#I definitely think that if Kotoko didn't have a traumatising past (which I do believe but I understand why others don't)#This is probably what gave her the PTSD#Beating a man to death is traumatising#Also as usual no idea if any of this makes any amount of sense
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I really wanted to love Arcane but after watching all of it I still find the majority of it really unfulfilling. Like, the animation really is gorgeous (as in, I literally think it's the prettiest/most smoothly animated show I've ever seen in my life and the action sequences especially were incredible) and I found basically all of the characters and their relationships initially really compelling but ultimately it just felt really empty to me.
So many characters' decisions/motivations (not all--there are a handful of obvious choices) seemed to shift aimlessly depending on what music video the creators wanted to make at the time, and the fact that the vast majority of characters actions feels reactionary to whatever outside force (the arcane/hex tech/black rose/whatever) they decided to invoke at the time was really annoying to me. Reactionary character choices aren't inherently bad, but when you have certain characters that everyone in the show plays up as strategic geniuses or powerhouses or whatever and then they also end up just kind of drifting along with whatever is thrown in to get them to end up wherever they ultimately need to be like dust motes and they don't end up being the actuators of basically anything at all in the end it's just fucking irritating tbh. (Especially thinking of season 2 Ambessa here--so much of what she found/achieved was basically by chance and it didn't feel like a coherent effort of her own that actually ended up getting her anywhere and maybe that's a commentary on the opportunistic nature of power or something but it still sucked imo because of how often everyone talked about what a great strategist she is and how dangerous/formidable she was in her own right and she just kind of wasn't in the end because the things she consciously put such a big investment in immediately fell apart for her so it was like... what was the fucking point? she could've been so much fucking better).
It felt like half the stuff that happened didn't happen in service of some overarching message or story but to fulfill vibes and the drama of it. Which again isn't inherently bad but there was just so much of it. Too many things felt like they fell into place 'just so' despite nothing the characters doing as individuals really feeling like it earned them that place. I do think they managed to pull a decent amount of it together in the end, but frankly it's only out of spite I ended up watching the final episode anyway, and you really shouldn't be counting on viewers to do that.
Anyway. Ultimately I guess it's just not for me I think, and the parts of it I did like (style, animation, themes, certain characters) didn't make trying to internally patch the parts I didn't (what felt to me like inconsistent characterization, mishandling themes/messages) to make it work for me feel like it worth the effort so in the end I really can't be bothered to care about it beyond just finishing the series and that makes me kinda sad.
As a show it was fine. The finale did a pretty good job of wrapping some things up mostly satisfyingly enough but damn it was hard to get there.
#arcane critical#journaling#I don't have any exposure to LoL really outside of this show so if knowing shit from that woudl've helped....#well i mean that's nice but the vast majority of the people watching the show also aren't gonna have that info#this is also ignoring all of the specific dialogue or plot stuff that didn't really seem to make sense that frankly after a certain point#i couldn't be bothered to try to analyze any further what they were going for#there were a lot of things i did like. there were things that absolutely still hit.#especially at the end the ekko/jinx interactions were a high point#also the viktor payoff i admit was worth it i was very annoyed with the pacing of that flip-switch leading up to the finale but i think#utlimately a lot of it worked in the end but lord....#it wasn't enough for me to be in love it at all#i put up with a lot of stuff to get that last 30 minutes lol#i understand there were a LOT of characters and a big lift storywise but idk man#they honestly probably did about the best they could with their constraints but even that is kind of a bummer
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why does fell on black days by soundgarden sound SO much like choso...
not the singing or the lyrics or anything, but if he had a back track play whenever he walked into a room, it would be that...
#★tiff.talks★#idk if this makes any sense. i was just listening to it and was just FLOODED by this overwhelming sense of choso#grunge choso who wears chucks & flannels and his loser ass that says shit like#'you probably haven't heard most of the bands i listen to... they're all pretty old or underground...'#ONLY TO PLAY STONE TEMPLE PILOTS; ALICE IN CHAINS; AND EVERCLEAR#BOY SHUT UR ASS UP BEFORE I KISS YOU!!! AT LEAST U DIDN'T PLAY EXCLUSIVELY NIRVANA LIKE A POSER (/j) BUT C'MON BOO#<- saying that as someone who spent last summer listening exclusively to the MTV unplugged in NY cd#you put on Hole for him and he pretends to be all introspective and thinking the lyrics over#deep down he'a abhorred by the lyrics and how many relate/connect with them#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x y/n#jjk x reader#jjk x you#choso#kamo choso#choso jjk#choso x reader
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Hey. Sprite analysis folks what the fuck does this mean
Somewhat inspired by this post
#ace attorney#pwaa#mia fey#iris hawthorne#iris fey#iris of hazakura temple#sprite analysis#mine#one of my biggest unanswered questions of aa is how much the twins interacted with mia before dl-6/leaving kurain with their father#like were they close. or was morgan's jealousy so strong that she stopped any of that dead in its tracks#i like to think they were and these sprite similarities allude to that#but then WHY. does mia not recognize dahlia in 3-4 it makes absolutely no sense#she absolutely would have been old enough to remember her. i get they probably didn't want to spoil dahlia being a fey but like#her recognizing mia first (made more obvious in the anime) already points to that. i feel like another vague line would have been sufficien#anyway i could go on about this for hours but. if anyone has more thoughts feel free to add#iris lovers PLEASE interact she is everything to me
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Me vs Arknights' story
Instead of working on school stuff, I decided to sit down and watch the Arknights story (that got fragmented between missions, and which I often skipped bcs of time-constraints). As one does.
(I'm never picking up that game again, because fuck gacha-games with a crowbar. But the world is too interesting, and the music too epic to not want to engage with it at all.)
And it occurred to me that early Reunion is actually really blatant about misinterpreting "vengeance" as "hope".
As in, the characters keep saying that Reunion brought them hope, but what they actually mean is that Reunion brought them the opportunity and ability to strike back against their oppressors.
I'm not faulting them for that (a certain celebrated CEO-assassination would make a hypocrite of me if I did), but I feel like this is an important distinction to make?
There's some overlap between "vengeance" and "hope", because they can somewhat build off of each other. Similar to how peaceful advocacy and political engagement can often be helped by "violent resistance".
But they're two very different forces.
Hope says "we'll make it through this, and create a better tomorrow". And vengeance says "the people who did this to us, will never be able to do it to anyone else".
In light of that, I can't condemn "vengeance" as a force at all. But it's interesting how Reunion is shown to be mischaracterizing their own ideology as being "hope".
#obviously this is probably a very tainted perception bcs early-Reunion probably still remember real-Talulah#and that makes it difficult to determine if they DID give them ''hope'' to start with.#and then had it twist into ''vengeance'' without any of them realizing it (because they were hurting too much to question lashing out)#or if this is genuinely a confusion that's been fostered from the get-go of Reunion (as it is at the story-start)#OR if chernobog was supposed to be ''take it over and make it into a haven for the infected''#that then didn't work out like that bcs of... reasons. so they DID bring them ''hope'' of their own city where they were safe#and where they could protect each other from non-infected people trying to do horrible shit to them.#like... the third option would make sense as a plan. but everyone who talks keep saying ''we'll hurt them like they hurt us''#even long after chernobog has fallen. so i get the feeling that it wouldn't be the rank-and-file thought-pattern at least#arknights#musings#video games
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now that i'm playing dragon age: veilguard i understand hbomberguy so much better. think i could probably do a 3.5 hours long video called "dragon age: the veilguard is FINE and here's why"
#the writing in dragon age has Always been a bit clunky it's part of the charm#but yes there are sections in DAV that made me go “oh nooo”#but no it isn't as bad as people say#the mechanics are fun idc. it's bad that my new laptop can run all of BG3 fine but becomes laggy as hell in any city location in DAV tho#companions r generally charming and they're all professionals so it makes sense they're less prone to big fights than say DAO morrigan#but yes i do miss having a bit more tension in the party sometimes#the character creator is great for dudes but yea it would probably b cool if it were possible to have curvier bodies for those who want tha#but no it isn't literally impossible to make good-looking rooks. it's quite easy actually#and like yeah you can't have wildly out there body types but it's pretty cool that you can be a geralt type a twink or chubby as a dude#(i play male characters and have only done the female cc once for a custom f!inquisitor so i have more experience w that one)#the qunari also look. fine? the antaam don't look too soft or anything so far#the majority of complaints against this game were stupid and not rooted in anything real#BUT!!! i don't love it#solas continues to be a highlight#lucanis is great so far and i love neve#neve's voice acting is amazing#she manages to make some very disappointing lines sound good#but..... i can't pretend the writing *isn't* awkward in places#d'meta's crossing stands out to me as a pretty bad case of overly direct storytelling#(spoilers) talking to the mayor was deeply disappointing! he just TOLD rook what he did and why. it felt so anticlimactic#especially bc the imagery in the village was striking and grotesque#but there didn't feel like there was any payoff#other sections have been great#but DAV just feels like it completely lacks subtlety at times#the other DA games haven't always been masters of show dont tell but this section felt like a first draft#like someone was working out the story and didn't have time to polish the script at all before the voice actors were called in#idk it really stands out to me as bad#also yeah it's noticeable that you don't really get to do evil things. at least not yet
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Everything Seems Small (From High Up)
Basically what happened after Sigma left the note and before Chuuya showed up.
Also me trying my hand at a different writing style-
TW for survivors guilt (I think), implied/mentioned starvation (it's small but there), a lot of injuries being mentioned and their causes.
@fukuzawa-armeddaddyagency may I perhaps interest you in seeing the aftermath of "lost one son to save another"? (ngl it would've probably happened anyway)
He doesn't remember how he managed to get there. The entire way is a blur. He doesn't remember how he managed to climb down, just that he somehow managed to slide down the gutter without falling.
In hindsight, he's more surprised he managed to hold on. His hand and arm ached from the effort of carrying his own weight, which the whole incident had reduced by quite a bit, but he barely cared. He just prayed that neither stab nor bite opened, and went on his way.
Sure, both are wrapped tightly in bandages, along with pretty much most of his limbs, leaving pretty much all of the bites and stabs and cuts he'd endured hidden from prying eyes, but it'd be a pain to rewrap them all again... and he doesn't want to bother Chuuya with this.
It's his own fault anyway, he dug his own grave, and now he may as well lie in it.
His legs ached all the way, but he barely paid it any mind. He just walked and walked and walked, until he barely even knew where he turned left and where he turned right. He just had his destination in mind.
And his legs still ache, an hour later, when he's finally sitting where he'd wanted to go.
He stares down, and for a moment he remembers falling from Sky Casino. Remembers the terror of thinking he'd die. Remembers the air whipping past his face, howling in his ears as if he'd been caught in a hurricane.
His legs, aching and stinging from bites that hopefully haven't started bleeding again, dangle down over the edge. He fidgets with his hands, plays around with the bandages wrapped around one of them. The bite underneath hurts as well.
Everything hurts, if he's honest with himself.
His legs hurt, courtesy of the dogs who'd dug their fangs into his flesh.
His hand hurts, from when another dog bit it and dragged him back into his room- back to Mori.
His face and arm and leg hurt from the cuts and stabs Other Kris had left on him.
His knee hurts, and he can't remember that one clearly, but he thinks a bullet grazed it.
His back hurts, from when he'd fallen down the stairs.
His throat hurts, and he wishes desperately for the bruises to fade so he can stop wearing turtlenecks.
He lets out a sigh and watches the city. From so high up, everything looks so... small. Insignificant. He knows his friends are down there. His family. His love... yet part of him think that maybe, just maybe, they'd be better off if he stayed here.
He'd left a note. Granted, a very vague note, but he did... god, who was he kidding? Everyone's a mess right now. Everyone's in various stages of grief and dealing with it better or worse. Everyone's mourning, and what is he doing? Running from his problems.
He lets out a breath, tears gathering in his eyes.
It's his fault they're mourning. What was it that Fukuzawa had said? Ah, right. He'd sent Dazai to get him out. He'd weighed his options and lost one son to save another.
He feels like screaming. Like crying. Throwing something, breaking something, tearing something apart and crying over that as well.
It's his fault, start to finish.
He'd started all of this with petty revenge that had been entirely pointless, and to what has it led? To Dazai dying.
Fukuzawa should've made the right call. He should've left him to rot instead of sending help. He wasn't worth another's life. Hell, he isn't even an actual person- just some writing on a page.
Karma was right. He's useless. He's useless and incompetent and he still doesn't know the reason- but he can see why he'd hate him. He wonders, silently, how many people hate him and are just too polite to say it to his face.
It should've been him who died. Would've been better for everyone... or no, scratch that. He really just should've stayed in the desert. Less pain and suffering for everyone involved. He should've stayed away after Meursault, at the very least.
... well, too late to prevent that mistake from happening.
So he sits, high up above the city, and watches. Watches while everything looks so small and distant insignificant, and he silently wonders why he ever thought he could be a part of that without ruining it.
#ada sigma#bsd rp blog#sigma bsd#ooc post#bsd rp#bungou stray dogs#fanfic#short story#angst#survivor guilt#this probably makes barely any sense if you didn't watch the whole Mori-situation go down#and i love that i might confuse some people with this
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actually it's kind of funny how people will say Alex's fatal flaw is that he 'doesn't ask for help' and that it's his determination to handle things on his own that leads to his deterioration and eventual death when his whole introduction to the present-day timeline was a very literal cry for help that simply went ignored
#N posts stuff#like even if you think alex was lying throughout the entirety of season 2 and he was waiting from the Moment jay showed up#JUST to kill him (Which again i don't think makes much sense when he could have killed Tim & Jay immediately instead of#breaking Tim's leg. anyway) EVEN IF alex spent that whole time lying it doesn't actually change the fact that he would have at least#been Pretending to Ask For Help and if he wasn't lying then he was Literally Asking For Help and it doesn't Actually matter#what intention Alex had because the text is Ambiguous about Alex's honesty during season two; what isn't ambiguous is the way#other characters (specifically Jay) respond to him; like yeah - S2 Brian/Tim were never in one million years going to help Alex with shit#so sort of any argument that brings up Tim as someone who asks for/offers help is borderline meaningless in this era of the series#Jay had the 'opportunity' to help Alex (and i'll get back to that in a sec) but DIDN'T - Jay wasn't Interested in actually offering Alex#'help' bc Jay is ultimately curious about Answers and 'Offering Help' and 'Getting Answers' are two Wildly conflicting goals#Jay thinks Alex has answers and when Alex doesn't Offer these 'Answers' to Jay on a silver platter Jay gets pissed off and paranoid#and starts Stalking Alex bc he thinks it's 'Suspicious' that Alex won't give him the Answers (that Alex probably doesn't Actually have)#ANYWAY. ultimately this post is about how it's absurd when people argue#that individual character choices could have made a difference in the way this series played out - specifically wrt Alex#because EVERYONE in this WHOLE series are being affected by influences outside of their control ; including Brian Tim and Jay#so it's silly when people are like 'if ALEX had just made a different choice For Himself this could have all been avoided' WRONG.#bc Ultimately there's not really a way to 'help' someone else out of this situation - Tim tried and failed Repeatedly#the comics proved he even failed with Jessica - like MH isn't a horror situation where you can kill the big bad#'getting help' is a meaningless argument - what would successfully helping or getting help even look like? anyway.#the sub argument of this post is that Alex's biggest 'sin' is that he doesn't perform emotions the way other people want him to#like Alex is a character with a kind of flat affect - instead of LOOKING scared or grieved he LOOKS bored or angry#and everyone judges him based on that - so Alex is 'Suspicious' he's 'Lying' he's 'Guilty' but all of these deductions are predicated#on the belief that Alex isn't reacting to his circumstances the way a 'Normal' person would - so it MUST all be an act and so he's guilty#so everyone treats him like he's guilty until the end of season two when he's like 'Fuck it FINE i'll be guilty then' and so it goes#not a self-fulfilled prophecy but being Cornered Into a prophecy and then Blamed for it - SAD. anyway
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