#I only needed to add the lil bit about mari since I have her too now and all

[mollymaywrite]

Old Jumpers and Messy Hair

story one :3

Study Sessions

Remus Lupin x Lottie Moss (OC)

CW: just cutesy fluff

Thursday 5th December

6:15 AM

A pillow to the face is definitely not my favourite way to wake up but I can’t be that mad when I see Mary and Lily giggling about something across the room.

“Lottie come onnnn, you’ve already slept in” Marlene groans getting ready to pick up another pillow.

“Lotts your only gonna be upset if your late” Lily speaks up from across the room. Sighing I rub my hand across my face knowing she’s right.

“Anddd you can see reeemussss ifff you gettt uppp nowww” Mary adds putting on a dramatic lovey dovey voice and wiggling her eyebrows about while laughing. I grab Marlene’s pillow and fling it back across the room towards Mary failing to hold back my laugh as she does a over the top jump out of the way using lily as human shield.

“shut upppp, i’m getting up now but it’s only because lily ask me too so nicely” I say while pointing my other pillow in Mary’s direction. “sure it is” Lily says with a giggle. “HEY I thought you were being nice today” I say turning to face Lily with a slight pout.

See this is why you don't tell your'e friends about your silly 4 year old crushes. Its just constant teasing, its not like i'm any better though every single time lily even MENTIONS james her face turns as bright as her hair after hearing some of the jokes me and mary make.

Me, Lily, Mary and Marls eventually make are way out of are form and into the great hall for breakfast. I honestly don’t know where i’d be without hogwarts food, where else can you eat five slices of toast and still have more waiting for you.

We make are way to are designated spots at the gryfindoor table. Lily finds herself next to a very smiley James, Mary and Marlene sit down next to Sirius who’s having a very serious (hehehe) debate with Peter about what the best food to eat bacon with is. So i’m left to sit next to Remus who is sat in front of a (now forgotten) book watching Sirius and Peter with a very amused look on his face.

“Hey Lottie, did you finish your potions homework or do you need some more help with the last bits?” Remus looked over at me waiting for my answer to James’ question “I’m all good now Jamie me and Lils finished it up last night!” I reply grabbing some toast from one of the many large plaits. “It took us ages though we couldn’t figure out what else we needed to make it go pink”

“Should have asked me, I finished mine ages ago” Remus says turning to face me. “Awhh Moons why didn’t you say we were doing that for hours, your my favourite study buddy too” I reply looking up at him. “If you think you need help with anything else you can ask, We’re mostly in the same classes” He says looking back down at his book.

“Do you think you could help me with some Charms stuff then? I need to get more practice with all the hand movements” I say wiggling my hands about and smiling up at the brown haired boy next to me. “Sure we can do some practice tonight if you want, Your test is coming up soon” He says smiling back at me.

“I’ll meet you in the common room after diner then, Is that okay?” I ask before turning back to my mostly untouched plate. “Sure, see you tonight” He says with a small smile, turning his head back towards his book.

After diner I take the longer route back to the common room to try and buy myself some time to push down my growing nerves, i swear i'm trying my best but its been ages since me and remus have been alone together and the last thing i want to do is embarrass myself in front of him. After a 10 miniute silent pep talk i managed to convince myself that its all going to be fine (manifesting it fr) and i head towards the portrait door trying to remember the new weird password, eventually it comes back to me and I mutter “BallderDash” under my breath. The portrait door swings open hitting me with the familiar warmth of the lit up gryfindoor common room, after i’m inside I scan the room for where remus is sitting. I spot him sitting on the sofa near the fire reading the same book as earlier . “Hey moons” I mutter sitting down next to him. “I stopped by the Library and picked up some books I thought we might need.” I say placing 3 thick books down on the round coffee table. “Great, we probably wont have to read that much yet as we need to focus on your messed up hand movements” he says with a laugh opening up the first charms book full of intricate diagrams.

“This is what you’re doing right?” He asks pointing down at the page in front of us . “Yeah that’s the one i can’t get right” I reply sitting back into the chair with a sigh. “Show me how you’re doing it” he says turning to face me (jesus christ not more eye contactttt). I sit back up in the chair reaching in my bag for my wand. “Well so far i’ve been kinda doing it like this” I say swishing my wrist about trying to get it going the right way.

He lets out a light laugh, “i’m not surprised you can’t get it to work if that’s how your doing it, come here", He reaches out grabbing my outstretched arm pulling me into his chest. I can feel my face warm up even more as he readjusts his arms around my shoulders. He moves his hand to hold it over my wand and he leans down to talk straight into my ear. “your doing it all wrong Lotts, you’ve got to start like this” he says turning my wrist slightly . “Now you try” He says stating close to me. I let out a cough still surprised by the sudden intimacy. “erm- well i geuss it’s something like this right?” I quietly mutter out begging to move my hand, it looks nothing like what he just did but I am trying my best.

After i’m finished he leans in even closer putting his hand back on mine putting his face lightly over my neck so he has a closer look on the wand. He quietly says “Cone on Lotts you can do this”. I can feel the heat of his breath on my neck causing my face to flush up again. I let out another chocked up cough.

He moves his head over to face me. “You doing okay over there Lottie?” he asks sounding rather amused. I look over at him are faces nearly touching. “Mhm” I say staring into his big brown eyes. His hand moves over to touch my blonde hair, “Your really pretty, you know that right?”.

My lips slightly part as i continue to look up at his face. I’m not sure exactly when it happened or who moved first but our lips met each others in a soft kiss. My mind goes blank and i somehow forget how to move. My stillness alerts him and he quickly pulled his head back.

“Lotts, I’m sorry. I really should have asked” . I keep on staring up at his equally red face before placing one hand on his thick jumper pulling him into a soft kiss . My hands find their way into his soft brown hair as his hands gently travel down to my waist.

The pile of books and my wand lay abandoned on the coffee table in front of us.

OKAYYY please don’t judge this was my first time writing in like forever. i will improve i swear but for those who stayed i hope you enjoyed it and there will be more Remus and Lottie in the future :))

[starsmuserainbow]

Today is when I have set another tamaranean festivity to be!

It is Vongdik, the celebration of song and singing; and it is celebrated by singing the whole day instead of talking.

About my muses’ participations in it: Starfire definitely takes part in this, and would basically sing through the whole day, even on missions and all. Blackfire doesn’t care about it, Wildfire might do a bit of it once Star reminded him of the festivity but he wouldn’t do it all day, and rather not when around people much. Galfore definitely participates the whole day through, but since he’s on Tamaran that’s probably a given. Moonshot would participate, but not openly or out to others - basically, this means that he will sing the whole day through, but avoid it by just avoiding any contacts; and Starlight is probably not really aware of the festivity to be today - and if she would, she would do it a little bit here and there, but not like the whole day through. Mar’i would probably absolutely participate.

So, yeah, you now know about the celebration that is taking place today. But since I don’t know any way to nicely show singing, outside of maybe writing ‘sing’ instead of ‘said’ or having things rhyme, I won’t do any starters or the likes from the festivity. If you want to do something with it, feel free to approach me for it, but out of my own accord, I won’t be making opens or anything.

Edit: I made a tag for it now, too! it’s applied to the original post here, but I don’t think I’ll go and add it to the reblogs too. The tag is #Live in the lyric; today it is Vongdik!

[kithtaehyung]

Before Valentine’s Day is over:

A letter to my beloved author-nim…

Dearest Ryen,
 
    I've been reading your work since 3Tan was a one-shot. I discovered it on AO3 on a day I was feeling very sad and very alone. I read it. I reread it. Then I read it one more time for good measure because, it was so full of everything wonderful a good writer can do, on each pass I caught something I had missed (partly also because, on my first read, I was absolutelying DYING in 3Tan Yoongi's presence and had not a single wit about me, lol).  When all was said and done, I didn't feel so alone.
     Your writing is always class A, but I want to give special focus to 3Tan here because it literally heals me:  Yoongi has showed us so many sides of himself over the years, and your fashioning of those facets into 3Tan Yoons has to be one of my most favorite characters. I love that you can see the little glimmers of traits in who he really is and develop them out into a full-fledged  written personality that feels so human and so incredibly full. Same goes for reader. Sometimes its hard to identify with the reader persona. Not here. Not only is she her own unique person (no Mary Sue to be found around these parts!), but she is incredibly relatable. She's hilarious, and sweet, and fiesty, and smart, and such a character in her own right - not just something to imprint on, and I've fallen in love with her as much as I have with her Yoongi. I also love that you decided to leave her brother untethered to any specific known figure, and that we get to imagine him as we will. Your confidence in your audience is clear in these instances, and it makes your writing so much more fulfilling and compelling.
    Lastly, to top it all off, you are not only an incredible writer, but also a lovely person. You bring nothing but joy and laughter to the Tumblrsphere, and I love coming to your page where I feel I can come as I am to appreciate fandom and writing and just being a lil' human bean in this crazy world. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all you give of yourself to all of us.
 
Love you, Ryen!
 
 
Most affectionately,
 
VioletSiren90 <3 <3 <3

Oh my gosh… violetsiren, I’m about to not have my phone on me for a bit but I wanted to tell you that I read this and now have a huge, huge smile on my face.

I’ll come back and add my thoughts to this when I’m free again, but I did want you to know that you are an angel and someone that I truly appreciate being here. You just made me super happy and felt so seen and loved.

I just.. Wow.

Thank you.

Edited with my thoughts under the cut🥺❤️‍🩹

I’m glad you don’t feel alone. That’s my number one thing that I’m happy about here, because no one should ever feel like that. 3tan is here to tell people that they aren’t alone—in feeling, or experiencing, or thinking. Or even living. It’s there as a love letter and as a reminder that we’re all just people living and getting through life.

As for this Yoongi, I’m so honored you enjoy him. He’s my comfort character and I wanted him to give joy and safety to as many people as possible. But also: he isn’t perfect. He is certainly flawed and going through his own shit and is terribly bombarded by his own inner struggles. But he’s providing reader comfort despite that, and it’s just touching.

Reader is a beautiful soul in their own right!! She’s always gonna be the one that I love writing no matter if it’s a good, bad, or neutral situation. I’m so happy reader resonates with you, too. That’s wonderful feedback because I want this to be as relatable as possible!! And leaving bro up to interpretation allows you all to imagine whatever you want and keep it inclusive. The fancasts are fun and hilarious but he really can be anyone.

This will always be a safe space. Use it whenever you need❤️‍🩹 I’m just here to have fun, share what I create with y’all, and have a good ass time with whatever the hell we decide to cook up🤣 And of course!! Come as you are, there is no judgment here. Anyone can stop by and hang, I’m just here getting the popcorn and fireplace and drinks and whatever else ready😌

Thank you for such a wonderful letter. You even remembered that love letters to the characters or author was even part of a Valentine’s Day poll!! Ugh, I love that. Thank you for this and I’m so happy you’re here.

[honeymooneyy]

you kissed remus!

okay so this takes place before a dog in your past life and is when remus came out to the others, context: fifth year, remus came back from summer and is like “ayo when did sirius get so attractive??”, peter knows remus is gay bc he caught Remus and Cas kissing once, and if you haven’t read the other one - Cas is this guy Remus “dated” for a lil bit

The boys had found the “perfect” way to kick off their fifth year at Hogwarts. The train had arrived on a Friday this year, so after getting all the first years settled on their first day, the marauders had all of Saturday to themselves before they had to get in the “school mode”.

James had snuck a bottle of firewhiskey from his parent’s liquor cabinet and had just revealed it to the others.

“James,” Remus groaned, knowing exactly where this was going to end up. “How did you manage to sneak a whole bottle away?”

“Oh shush, Remus, you know you wanna try it.” James waggled his eyebrows as he settled on the floor, right in front of the foot of his bed. He motioned for the others to gather around, patting the ground.

“I’ve never tried firewhiskey,” Sirius admitted, sounding a tad bit too excited in Remus’ opinion. “Gimme gimme.”

Despite Remus’ reluctance, he sat down between Peter and Sirius, leaning back on his hands and watching the other settle down. He forced himself to keep his eyes away from Sirius, instead watching as Peter finished writing his letter to his mom. He had been writing his mom letters since first year, a tradition that had yet to die off.

Yet as James and Sirius argued over what game they should play with it, or if they should just chug it, Remus couldn’t help but glance at Sirius. His hair had been pulled back in a sloppy bun, seeing as he had been getting ready for bed when James pulled out the bottle, but a couple strands had slipped out, framing his face. If anything, it seemed to bring out his jawline, was it always this defined? And then when Sirius stretched out, much like a cat would, his shirt hitched up to reveal dark ink on his hip.

“Sirius, is that a tattoo?” Remus exclaimed and immediately leaned over to inspect it. If he hadn’t been so busy staring at the other boy’s new tattoo, he would’ve noticed the pink hue that had crawled onto Sirius’ cheeks.

“Er, yeah, I got it when I was at James’ house. It’s Canis Major, because it has-”

“Your star,” Remus breathes, reaching out to push Sirius’ shirt up higher. He was too busy looking at the splatter of ink on his stark white skin to realize just exactly what he was doing. “That’s wicked. Did it hurt?”

Sirius gingerly pulled his shirt out of Remus’ grasp and yanked it back down to cover up the tattoo that was the new center of attention. “I guess. Not the worst pain I’ve felt.”

The boys grew quiet at the thought of Sirius’ rough childhood, and Remus leaned back into his previous sitting spot. What was he thinking, just pulling Sirius’ shirt up like that?? Usually, they were all pretty affectionate with each other, but for some reason this just felt off.

Thankfully, the silence didn’t last long as James uncorked the bottle with a pop. He held the bottle up with a grin, “To fifth year!”

The other echoed him, smiles crawling onto their faces. Sirius had called being the first to try it and grabbed the bottle from James, tipping it back to take a sip. The others watched, wide-eyed, waiting for his reaction. He immediately began to cough, wiping his lips with the back of his hand, “Oh god, it’s hot.”

The boys burst into giggles at his reaction, holding their hands out for a turn. Once everyone had been acquainted with the drink, they had settled into a game of Never Have I Ever.

This game wasn’t the best to play when you’re trying to hide the fact that you’re gay, something that Remus didn’t consider until Peter’s turn came around, quite a few drinks in. He had decided to fully milk the fact that he had yet to get a girlfriend.

“Never have I ever kissed anyone,” he decided, grinning at the way Sirius groans, and in doing so, missing the daggers Remus glared at Peter.

“Not fair, you’re targeting me,” Sirius grumbles, sipping from his glass. It was no surprise that he drank, as the others had heard quite enough about his “relationship” with Mary last year. He set his cup back down, the alcohol quickly diminishing with the way he drank for almost everyone’s turn. They had ended up divvying up the bottle to see who finished their glass first.

“I’m saving myself for Lilly,” James declares proudly, shaking his head to get the dark hair out of his eyes before grinning lopsidedly. “I’m loyal.”

“Is it even being loyal if you’re not dating?” Remus snorts. It seemed the alcohol had rid him of his filter because he then sipped his drink, seeing as he had kissed Cas quite a few times.

Sirius didn’t miss it, turning to Remus with wide eyes, “You’ve kissed someone??”

“Moony!! You’ve kissed someone?? Why didn’t you tell us?” James exclaims, turning to Remus with his mouth agape and holding a hand to his heart in mock-betrayal. “I thought we’re best friends! When was it? Who was it?”

Peter jumped in, hurrying to fix the mess he caused, “Maybe he was just thirsty, I don’t think it wasn’t for the actual question.”

“S’okay, Peter, I’ll tell them,” Remus sighs, thankful that Peter tried, at least. He’s gotta tell them at some point... “It was last year.”

James didn’t miss the way he dodged the question of who, “Okay, but who was it? What’s her name, do we know her?”

“James,” Remus began softly, raising his eyes to James’ inquiring ones. He could feel his throat closing up so he spit the words out, as quick as he could, “I never said it was a girl.”

James’ mouth fell agape, “Blimey! I didn’t even know, what kind of friend am I?”

Remus couldn’t help but stare at him, “That’s it? You don’t care that I’m gay?”

He just shrugged and Remus wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol or if it was just James being James. “Don’t really care who you snog. I can’t believe I didn’t even know, we’ve been friends for five years.”

“I didn’t know until last year,” Remus admits with a small laugh. He pulled his legs closer so he could rest his chin on them, and watched James’ reaction. An hour or so had passed since they first started their games and the alcohol had taken a hold of all of them. The world seemed a bit more hazy than usual, but despite that he could feel Sirius’ gaze boring into his side profile. He decided to ignore it for now.

“Wait a minute.” James whirled around to point at Peter, “You knew! How did you know?”

Peter barely got a chance to open his mouth when James let out a sound of surprise.

“It was you, wasn’t it! You kissed Remus!” James exclaimed, seeming proud of himself for having figured it out. Remus couldn’t but fall into a fit of giggles at the thought of Peter and him.

“It was that boy, wasn’t it?” Sirius finally spoke up, leveling his steely gaze with Remus. His bun was falling apart completely at this point, and Remus itched to move the hair that hung in front of his eyes. “Carter, or something? The one you always hung around last year.”

“Cas,” Remus corrected, internally slapping himself for the way he had been staring at Sirius’ hair. “But yeah, we were together for a bit. He doesn’t go here anymore.”

James began on another tangent about how he should’ve known and that he had to admit Cas was a bit attractive, but Remus wasn’t interested. Sirius was uncharacteristically quiet. His dark brows were knitted together as he thought something over. Was he upset?

“Sirius?” Remus’ voice cracked as he whispered his best friend’s name. He needed him to say something more, tell him that it’s okay, that he doesn’t care.

Sirius was glaring now and Remus thought he might be sick, what if Sirius didn’t support him? He couldn’t bear the thought of losing his best friend. His worries only heightened when Sirius finally spoke, his voice unusually calm,“You didn’t tell us for months. Did you think we’d be mad?”

Remus wasn’t quite sure why he was so upset. “I wasn’t sure. It’s kind of controversial.”

“But we’re your best mates. You should be able to tell us stuff like this,” Sirius sighed, finally brushing his hair off his face. When he glanced up, Remus was surprised to see sadness swirling in his eyes. “And we scared you off. What kind of friends are we?”

So he wasn’t mad at Remus? But at himself?? Remus was thoroughly confused, why was Sirius so fixated on the fact that he didn’t tell them right away?

“I dunno,” Remus shrugged, wishing his sweater could swallow him whole. Why did Sirius need to question him like this, especially now?? “I didn’t want to take the chance and lose you guys. I don’t have anyone else.”

It was weird seeing Sirius so serious. He was usually as bouncy as James, cracking jokes and grinning 24/7. Remus decided that he preferred carefree Sirius, this one reminded him too much of the time Sirius returned from winter break with scars marring his back.

“You’re still my best friend, Sirius. I would’ve told you guys eventually.” Remus shifts over to sit a bit closer to Sirius and bumps their knees together. If he hadn’t drunk so much firewhiskey, he might’ve been more cautious about touching Sirius so casually, especially after confessing he liked guys. The last thing he needed was for his friends to think he was a creep. “It wasn’t that long ago.”

“You didn’t have to tell us, I’m not upset about that. I’m sorry you couldn’t come to us about it, I’m sure it had been kinda scary. We could’ve helped you figure it out, that’s what best friends are for.” Sirius bumps his knees back into Remus’, before giving him a sad smile. “I reckon not everyone reacts so nicely, do they?”

“I don’t think everyone’s so open to it,” Remus decided to say. Sirius already looked so sad for him, he didn’t want to add to it by bringing up how the kids in his neighborhood felt about gay people. Or even the way his parents spoke about it when seeing stories in the daily prophet. He hated the pity tainting Sirius’ voice.

Sirius’ eyes brightened as his gaze found Remus’, “So will you tell us about it, then? Cas? And everything? You didn’t get to tell us last year, tell us now!”

That caught James’ and Peter’s attention as they turned to Remus, eager to hear about his romantica adventures. Remus rarely brought it up, seeing as he never had much interest in their conversations about girls.

Remus could feel his cheeks heating up as he ducked his head, bashfully. “It was okay, nothing abnormal.”

“C’mon, Remus, you listen to us when we talk about girls. I talk about Lilly every day, tell us about who you like!” James prods, scooting closer.

Remus makes a point to keep his eyes on the ground at the topic of who he likes. He hated the way his mind immediately wandered to Sirius. He didn’t like Sirius, he was simply admiring his looks and he knew he couldn’t let those thoughts go anywhere. With a sigh, he started, “Okay, I guess I can tell you guys a bit about it. You know that I was friends with Cas for a bit, last year…”

Remus never thought he’d ever talk to his friends about boys, but here he was - describing his first kiss in detail.

[marauders-venting]

Our Last Summer (Part 2)

pairing: wolfstar (sirius x remus)

genre: fluff & angst

warnings: mentions of death and disappearances, hints at sex

words: 1789

note: based on the song ‘Our Last Summer’ by ABBA

We made our way along the river and we sat down in the grass by the Eiffel tower. I was so happy we had met, it was the age of no regret, oh yes

“Come on, it’s the last Hogsmeade visit we’ll ever have!” Dorcas said. “You have to get in.” Remus sat outside the water of the shallow river.

“You know we can come back to visit Hogsmeade right?” Remus said. “It’s a village, not part of Hogwarts.”

“Ugh you know what I mean,” they said. “Just come inside, Remus, it’s fun.” She reached to pull his foot in but Remus was too quick for her and his foot slipped out of their grasp.

“Moony, just come in,” James said. “It’s really hot outside anyway and the water is nice.”

“If you don’t come in we’ll splash you,” Peter warned him.

“Guys, leave him alone,” Sirius said. He had taken his shirt off (surprise surprise) and left it outside on the grass. Remus was finding it very difficult to focus on anything else. “If he doesn’t want to come in he doesn’t have to.” Maybe if Remus was less focused on the fact that Sirius was half-naked he would’ve noticed the mischievous twinkle in his grey eyes or the smirk playing on his lips. Sirius came out of the water and sat beside Remus. He waited for maybe two seconds before pushing him into the water. Remus sat in the river, spluttering and wiping water out of his eyes.

“Thanks for that,” he said to Sirius.

“Anytime, babe,” Sirius said, rejoining everybody in the water. “You’re too trusting, Moons.”

“That’s a first,” Remus muttered.

“Oh lighten up, Remus,” Lily said, splashing him with water. “It’s fun.” Remus splashed her back and soon enough a water fight broke out (as they do).

To an outsider, it would have been unclear who won but James, Sirius, Remus, Lily and Marlene would all claim that the victory had been their own. Either way, by the end everybody was soaked from head to toe.

“Let’s go get food,” Sirius said.

“I’ll come with you, I’m starving,” James said. They climbed out of the water and began drying themselves with their wands.

“Wait,” Lily said, climbing out of the water as well. “Don’t waste money on food while we still get free food from the school. We raided the kitchens this morning.” She opened her bag to reveal loaves of bread and spreads.

“Wow,” James said. “I’m impressed, Evans. I didn’t know you had it in you, being Head Girl and all.”

“Right, like you haven’t done this a million times and you’re Head Boy,” Lily said, blushing a bit. “And Remus was a prefect and he’s done it plenty of times too.”

“Who’s ‘we’?” Sirius asked, eyebrows raised.

“Me, Marlene, Dorcas, Mary and Alice,” Lily said.

“What, you didn’t think you guys were the only ones who could pull pranks, did you?” Marlene asked. They all came out of the water with Remus and Frank as Lily started pulling food out of her bag. They sat on the grass making sandwiches, talking and laughing.

“I can’t believe it’s nearly over,” Sirius said, looking back at the castle. “Has it been seven years already?”

“I know,” Mary said. “It feels like time has barely passed since our first day.”

Sirius thought back to the day he sat on the chair in front of the whole school with the Sorting Hat on his head, the thrill he felt when the hat called out Gryffindor, not Slytherin. He looks around at his friends, the people sitting here now and he just feels so grateful that he met them. All of them, every single one. Who knows where he’d be without them. Probably still at his parents’ house. Yes, Sirius thinks, I definitely got lucky. And as his eyes meet Remus’ and their hands link together, Sirius knows everything will be ok. He has no regrets. Everything will be just fine.

But underneath we had a fear of flying, of growing old, a fear of slowly dying. We took a chance like we were dancing our last dance 

But despite that confidence that Sirius had felt towards the end of his time at Hogwarts, there had been cracks of fear and doubt even then. The war was still being fought and their side was growing weaker by the day. People were dying left, right and center and Sirius felt helpless in it all. He was in the Order, he was fighting, he was trying. But it wasn’t working. They were losing. And Sirius could not shake the fear that haunted him day and night: it’s only a matter of time before someone he loves dies. Everybody Sirius cares about is in the Order of the Phoenix. At this rate, the chances that they’ll all make it out of this alive are minuscule.

Sirius is trying to stay positive but it’s not working. Most days the only thing that gets him through to the night is the thought that if he stops fighting it’ll just be worse.

He usually went to the Potter’s in the evening but he was just too tired tonight. Remus was out, probably on a mission, so Sirius collapsed on the couch. He lay there for a while, eyes closed but not asleep. Just thinking. Thinking and thinking and thinking. It’s like that was all he ever did these days. Thinking about James and Lily and Harry, how unfair this was on them, raising a family in the middle of a war. Thinking of Remus, of how far away he felt lately even though they shared a bed every night. Thinking of Peter, who he hadn’t seen in a while. Just thinking.

It felt like hours had passed but it had probably barely been one. Sirius gives up on sleep and decides to make a cup of tea. He opens his eyes and looks at the clock. It’s nearly eleven-thirty. And Remus still isn’t home. His missions didn’t usually run this late. And when they did he always made sure to tell Sirius. He started to panic. Relax, he told himself, he probably just went to Lily and James’. Just because you were too tired doesn’t mean he can’t go.

Sirius hurries to the phone and dials the number for the Potter residence.

“Hello?” Lily’s voice.

“Lily? Hey, it’s Sirius.”

“Oh, hi Sirius. Is everything ok?”

“Um, is Remus at your place?”

“No,” Lily says. “Why? Has he not come home yet?”

“No,” Sirius says. He can hear the panic building in his voice.

“I’m sure everything’s ok,” Lily said quickly but it doesn’t sound like she believes it herself. “Have you tried checking with Peter? Or maybe with Marlene and Dorcas?”

“No, I–I haven’t called anyone else yet,” Sirius said. His hands were beginning to shake.

“Ok Sirius, don’t panic,” Lily said soothingly. “We’ll find him. You call Peter and I’ll call Marlene and Dorcas. Even if he isn’t—”

“Remus!” Sirius says. The door opens and Remus walks in, kicking off his shoes. “Lily, he’s here, I have to go. Thanks though.”

“Oh thank god,” Lily mutters. “Ok, I’m glad he’s ok. Bye Sirius.”

“Bye, Lils.” Sirius hung up the phone and ran to throw his arms around Remus. Remus stumbled slightly but hugged Sirius back tightly.

“It’s ok,” Remus said into Sirius’ hair. “It’s ok.”

“I thought… I thought…” Sirius felt the tears well up in his eyes. I thought I lost you.

“I know,” Remus whispers. “But it’s ok. I’m here now. I’m sorry.”

“What kept you?” Sirius asked, almost angry as he pulled away and wiped his eyes.

“Dumbledore wanted to talk to me about something,” Remus said. “Some new mission.”

“Oh.” Sirius’ heart sank. More dangerous missions, more risks, more deaths. He couldn’t stand it anymore. “What kind of mission?”

“He wants me to… to spy on the werewolves who sided with Voldemort,” Remus said. He sounded bitter.

“What?” Sirius said, shocked. “He wants you to spy—”

“On werewolves, yeah,” Remus said. “He says it’s important to try and get them on our side. Or at least to try and find out Voldemort’s plans through them.”

“And you… you’re ok with this?” Sirius asks.

“Well I have to be, don’t I?” Remus says. “It’s about the only useful thing I can do for the Order.” Then after a moment, he adds, “Sirius, what’s wrong? If you don’t want me to do it, I won’t.”

“Do you want to do it? Cause you don’t exactly sound enthusiastic about the offer.”

“I just…” Remus sighed. “I want to be useful.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” Sirius said. “I’m worried about you, Remus. I’m scared.”

“I know, love. I’m scared too.”

“I want you to be happy,” Sirius says, taking his hand.

“Then I need to do this mission,” Remus says, “I want to help, I— like you and James and Lily and Peter are. Whatever time I lose during the full moon, I make up for it by spying. Instead of being an inconvenience, I’ll be an asset.” Sirius nods.

“If that’s really what you want,” he says.

“Look, I know it’s scary. But it’ll be ok. As long as we have each other we’ll be fine.”

“Promise you’ll stay with me?”

“I promise,” Remus whispered, kissing him softly. Sirius leaned into the touch, sliding his arms around Remus’ neck. They had been growing distant lately and Sirius had needed this. He missed Remus. Was it possible to miss someone you shared a house with, shared a bed with? Apparently, it was.

“Are you tired?” Sirius asked softly, still holding Remus close.

“Not really,” Remus said. “Why? Did you have something in mind?”

“How about I play some music and we can… dance?” Sirius said.

“Hmm, but we both know that I am the least coordinated person in existence and I cannot dance,” Remus said, smiling.

“Come on Moons, dance with me,” Sirius said, smirking and taking a step back. He turned on the radio and the song Endless Love by Lionel Riche and Diana Ross was playing.

“I’ll hold you close in my arms,” Sirius sang, pulling Remus back in. “I can’t resist your charms, and love, I’ll be a fool for you—”

“You’ll be a fool anyway,” Remus muttered under his breath. But he was smiling, his hands on Sirius’ waist as they stumbled danced across the living room.

“Shh I’m singing, Moony,” Sirius said. “You mean the world to me. Oh, I know, I’ve found in you, my endless love.” They locked eyes, fiery amber and stormy grey, before melting into another kiss. Needless to say, not much dancing or sleeping was done that night.

[strangenightsofdaydreams]

Happy Birthday Sarah!

@theheavycrown Thank you for existing. That there are so many of us that appreciate this says a lot. Hopefully you had a good day and your body offered respite. You my dear, are a penguin of great significance. So here is your gift- not late, it’s still the 3rd in some part of the world. This ended up a lil over 1K which maybe can be expect to make up for the potential belated-ness.

__________________________

Jughead absentmindedly reaches for his prize. The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane is generally stocked but he snoozed on his alarm this morning and ever since his day had been harried. It was imperative he found a book store close by to the subway. He needed to take to get to JB’s dinner on time. And thanks to the brisk pace of his walk, he had- now he could relax for a moment. He jerked back when he touched a soft, warm hand and not the thin paper spine he expected. Pretty green eyes met his as he looked down before he registered any of her other lovely features. The blonde woman that was browsing the nearby shelf had apparently come to a decision while he daydreamed. 

“Here.” She spoke into the accumulating silence and Jughead cleared his throat to hide his embarrassment. A second passed and then he fumbled to take the book from her. 

“Thank you.” At least his voice kept itself together. He was 26, cracking should not be an issue anymore despite his earlier woolheaded mishap. 

“It’s the last one out, are you sure?” He took two steps back to give her space. Sometimes he looked imposing but he was without his leather and at his most spiffy today so hopefully that should do it. 

“Oh, I’m sure they have extras in the back. Unless... you don’t want it?” 

“I do. Well it’s not exactly for me but yes.” 

She laughed, “It’s not for me either. I’m getting a book each for my niece and nephew’s upcoming birthday. I loved this book as a kid so it seemed an obvious choice. It’s an ugly world they’ll need the beautiful themes within to help navigate. But I have weeks, early shopping so go ahead.” 

“Thank you.” He scratched the back of his neck, tugging on the edge of his beanie. Jughead felt honored instead of his typical annoyance that she shared. 

“It’s my sister’s birthday tomorrow and something this year had me feeling nostalgic. Maybe it’s because she’ll be twenty, no longer a teen. I know she’ll like it. We  both have fond memories of when I used to read this to her.” Obviously leaving out how both of their parents were passed out or drinking as they did this. He wasn’t feral enough to not understand polite conversation despite Toni’s teasing. And scowls were adequate communication!

“That’s sweet. May I make a suggestion?” 

“Yeah sure, proceed.” 

“You should get her something for this year too. If you can financially, to show her you also see her now. And even if she doesn’t subscribe to that reasoning, two presents instead of one is always nice.”

“Huh, alright. Any recommendations?” 

“What are her interests?” Her spine straightens and she leans in, the picture of attentiveness. 

“She likes rock music, zombie video games... I think she has an interest in historical settings and still reads ya fantasy occasionally. We saw all of the Hunger Games movies in theaters. There were a lot of thoughts to be shared afterwards.” 

They laugh. Hers is surprisingly throaty and he adds it to his steadily growing list of things he finds great about this stranger. A big accomplishment for a people hating hermit like him. “JB also is in her college’s feminist union and is majoring in chemical engineering. She’s a bright kid.” 

Betty smiles at him and then claps her hands. “Okay so how about-” Betty walks a few rows down and comes back. “Frankenstein. I think she can handle the horror and invasive ramifications of science and consent handled in the book. Sounds up her alley.”

Jughead nods, agreeing while processing that he doesn’t think he’s ever been so attracted to someone. “I’ve read it. I wouldn’t have thought about it but that’s perfect. And by Mary Shelley feminist icon that she is. I recognize teh layers.” 

His book muse beams, “I’m so happy to help.” Jughead searches for something to say, not wanting the conversation to end. 

“If that’s for your niece, what did you pick for your nephew? 

“I’m debating between From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler or A Wrinkle in Time. He is ten but his reading level is a bit higher than average so I think he could handle either.”

“I would wait on A Wrinkle In Time, I believe you about his capability but he might appreciate the themes more in a year. The Mixed Up Files are more exciting without making you think.”

“You know I think you're right Mister…” 

“Jones. Jughead Jones.” She nodded grabbing, her second book before turning back to face him. “Betty Cooper at your literary service.” 

“Well don’t worry Betts, I’m sure he’ll be ready to read it in no time and you can share your good taste with them more.”

“I may need more advice down the road. Christmas is in four months and all. We could exchange numbers if convenient.”

Jughead smirked, impressed and relieved that she beat him to it. “I would like nothing more, Miss Cooper. Uh, ignore the screen crack.” 

They both unlocked and then switched phones, putting in their contacts. He finished putting in his information and then went to home screen startling at the time written. 

“Shit. I have to go. I need to make the metro soon. Can’t be late to her party.” Betty handed him his phone back, brow slightly furrowed. “I thought it was tomorrow. I wouldn't have taken up your time otherwise.” 

He put his phone in his pocket and pulled up the suspenders, prepping to book it and delighting in her eyes on his arms. “I know, my bad for the confusion. We don’t celebrate the day of- family tradition. And I enjoyed this, don’t feel bad. I have to pay, we’ll talk later.” 

The look in her eyes pinned him down. “Don’t be the guy who runs. Walk fast. Bye for now Jug.” 

Jughead grinned at her stern warning, he liked her bossy. He rushed to the cashier and made his way down the street, reaching the subway entrance and went on with the normal routine. Even the heat didn’t put him in a bad mood and when he sat down in an almost empty car, he checked his contacts. Betty had put a book emoji next to her name. He hoped she thought his crown was half as cute. He fiddled with his suspenders, unused to having them put on correctly for once and then replied to a couple rapid fire texts from JB’s girlfriend asking about his status. He assured Annie that he would be on time to the restaurant that only seated parties of three if they were all in admittance at once, understanding her anxiety. JB deserved a nice time. 

________________________

Jughead left the restaurant hours later, full and happy to see JB bloom under Annie’s loving attention. He took out his phone when he was back on the subway. 

JB loved her gifts. And her girlfriend told me about the showing of the original Frankenstein movie at a local art house theater next Friday. Interested?

[spiritmaiden23]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. For sure, for being the cutest of cutes!! All Zeldas are cute though but she was the blueprint ;v; 

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. I’m a devout christian virgin I would never ever look at those kind of topics the only hot I see is the flames of hell for even considering this smh smh bUT NO FOR REAL THO I’M NOT REALLY SURE???? I mostly see people gushing over how cute she is rather than hot. 

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / In some aspects. We don’t really see Skyward Sword Zelda’s abilities in the games as we did in, say, BOTW where she goes full goddess mode. Aside from blessing the master sword, sealing herself away, and the implications that the game gives us with Zelda being not only a student at the knight school but also a badass warrior goddess in her past life; I’d say she’s pretty up there in terms of strength. 

Are they underrated?  YES / NO. GONNA GO WITH YES AND NO ON THIS. As a character, Zelda is far from underrated she’s actually cliche blonde character we all love and stan but in this incarnation.... also yes and no because while I see a lot of people like SS Zelda keep in mind that SS is the black sheep of the series so not a lot of people have good opinions on it. I’ve seen some say she’s annoying, too shoujo or even Mary Sue at some points and hweoh we all know that the last one ain’t even close to true since she’s far from bland and OP written. But it’s all a matter of perspective!  

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO /

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL / FOR THE MOST PART, if we were talking verses like say witch verse she’d have more of a neutral reputation considering witches aren’t really well-liked ;-; 

How strictly do you follow canon?  

I try to do the best that I can do given with what we’re working with here all while adding my own spin to her characterization because we all have different perspective when it comes to art! How I see Zelda is someone who’s bubbly, playful (big ol bully hweoh), a bit of a busybody if she feels she needs to step in due to worrywart tendencies yet highly responsible and carries a wisdom that’s beyond her age, she doesn’t like seeing people bullying others and isn’t afraid to put her foot down to speak her mind if something is up. While kindness is sorta her strong suit I wanted to go beyond “nice girl” and just showcase other sides of her too, hence why main verse is typically set during the events of SS because here we see her growth into the girl we see at the end of the game where she’s melancholic of her past but is looking forward to seeing what the future holds and wants to build a brighter tomorrow with Link by her side along with friends and loved ones. I’m not at all confident in playing as her, despite playing as Zelda since 2017 haha!! So I can’t really say that I’m super strict in following canon considering that’s how I view the character through the actions and dialogue throughout the game, perhaps the creators had something different in mind than how I see Sky Zelda.   

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  

DO YOU LIKE WHOLESOME GIRLS?! Wait no, hold on, that’s a little too vague, so let’s try that again. Do you like wholesome genki girls who were once a god who fought in a war in their past life? How about pastel girls who may seem sweet but are deep down bullies towards loved ones? Are you at a point in your life where you find yourself wondering: where on earth can I find someone who’s ray of sunshine can brighten up my day. Will do I have good news for you buddy! Introducing your very own friend: Zelda from hit series Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. This Zelda is more extreme than the others due to the fact that she’s not a princess, that’s right no princess titles clogging up that beautiful name. Just a knight who somehow finds out she’s actually a goddess reborn as human, no biggie! 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)

SHOUJO PROTAG WHO’S TOO FREAKING CUTE!! So.... if that’s not your cup of tea ;v; but nah I can see people not liking Zelda because not everyone like the nice girl who’s your childhood friend characrter, I totally get it but if you dig a little deeper you see that there’s more to it than that.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  

My close friend was FINALLY getting into the LOZ series back when BOTW was first coming out, her playthrough of SS made me remember how much I loved each characters and honestly Zelda’s design in that game was always my fav right next to Tetra and ALTTP/ALBW! At the time I mostly played more introverted muses or straight up villains and I wanted to try my hand at playing more wholesome characters like Sky Zel and ALTTP Zel ;v; now look at me, the CEO of wholesome cute girls ;v; 

What keeps your inspiration going?  

Motivation and time at this point, I’m not the young starry-eyed rper who used to have playlists and replay things to keep up with canon. I just pray to god I’m doing ok, let jesus take the wheel and just sorta do my own thing. I think having fun threads or a friendship with partners or just good vibes from them def helps a whole lot. 

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO. SORTA KINDA NOT AS MUCH AS I DO WITH ALTTP ZEL BECAUSE I’M ALWAYS NERVOUS THAT I MIGHT LIKE BREAK THE CANON OR ZEL’S CHARACTER!! 

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO.  

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO / Most of the time!

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. I mean, that’s a trick question because I can be sensitive in picking up tones and reading between the lines but like if you mean if someone says something mean than no not anymore at least, I’m too old to care about what people say about me or think about me. 

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  

YE! I do! I mean we’re all improving and junk so I see no issues with criticisms uvub I always worry about whether or not you can hear different voices within the characters I rp as among writing issues I have that comes with learning disability and ADD, I try my hardest but I know at the end of the day there will always be grammar mistakes and even spelling! 

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

YES YES YES!! OMG YES!! I TAKE WHATEVER QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE AND JUST... WORD VOMIT BACK SEVEN PAGE ESSAY SOMETIMES ;V; 

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

Eh, well yeah it’d be nice honestly to hear feedbacks and thoughts. Just saying ‘I don’t like this or I don’t agree with this’ doesn’t really help anyone who wants to improve but I’m not gonna like press them for it either because again I’m at the stage in my life where I’m just like ‘it is what it is’. 

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

Shrug emoji, and then move on! Again it’d be nice if they can tell me though but I won’t press them for it if they don’t feel like it. We’re allowed to have our opinions after all yo!

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

It is illegal to hate sky zel or any Zel really... NAH JK I DON’T REALLY CARE I’ve liked characters who aren’t popular among the fandom, I’m more or less used to seeing character bashing for faves so like it doesn’t really affect me at all I’m just like “lol” and move on. 

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

YES! Though keep in mind, despite me using Grey instead of Gray, I use US English ;v; so keep that in mind when spotting out certain words other parts of the world may spell differently because us US Americans just..... gotta be extra like that. 

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?  

I TRY!!! IDK IF I COME ACROSS AS THAT but I’m very much someone who goes with the flow anyway, I’ve been told that much IRL and I’m just hweoh not really someone who’s a stick in the mud or has a stick up their ass, you know? I’m pretty laid back and not much bothers me, I can get petty if I have to come across rude people that’s the one thing that kills it for me but aside from that, I just wanna try to get along with people. We don’t have to be friends if you’re not feeling the vibes but friendly terms is good enough for me!

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

[let-it-raines]

Catch Me If You Can (21/?)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

a/n: I technically don’t have a horse in the race for the World Series that’s currently happening (tonight could be the last game 🙀), but since this lil’ universe exists because of @wellhellotragic​, I’ll be pulling for the Astros to actually win a game at home! 

@resident-of-storybrooke​ remains the best for reading these words, which include some more meeting of the fam jams! 

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

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Tag list: @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury​ @superchocovian​ @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog@cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings​ @youraverageshipper​

-/-

New York City in the summer is both the best and the worst.

There are approximately a million things to do, which is pretty much always true for this city, but things seem to multiply this time of year compared to any other time. Well, maybe besides around Christmas, but then every street is so full of tourists that Emma can’t do anything for fear of losing her temper and yelling at a middle-aged couple simple trying to enjoy their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary trip.

Bah-humbug.

And as much as Emma likes the way she can wear her jeans with a cozy sweater and coat draped over her with a warm beanie covering her ears, summertime is pretty much the prime time for her with so many baseball games happening and with the US Open coming around at the end of August. But it is decidedly not the end of August since it’s more like the end of July, and all she feels right now is like a big puddle that’s ready to melt whenever she walks outside. Also, that she smells like garbage, but that’s more likely the city than her considering she showered this morning and used vanilla body wash that she can smell on herself.

As well as sunscreen.

And sweat. There is definitely some sweat involved despite the fact she is only wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top with a hell of a lot of deodorant. She literally has deodorant in her backpack next to her laptop and notebook full of stat sheets.

Her hair is really gross too despite the braid it’s in, and the game hasn’t even started. It’s going to be a long day. For a multitude of reasons.

David, Mary Margaret, and Leo walking toward her in the hallway is near the top of that list.

“Emma,” Leo gasps when he sees her, quickly running toward her and leaving his parents behind in the dust. He’s got on a Captain America shirt and the signed Killian Jones hat gracing the top of his head. They didn’t explicitly tell Leo that she and Killian are dating – kids being kids and not being able to keep secrets and all that – but he pretty much knows. And he’s definitely going to after this.

“Hi, bud,” she laughs, squatting down the slightest bit (he’s getting too tall) to wrap him up in a hug that she knows is far too tight. “Long time no see.”

“I saw you for dinner last night.”

“That is too long.”

“You’re clingy,” Leo scoffs before pulling back from her hug to look at her with those furrowed little brows of his.

“Clingy? Who taught you that word?”

“Mom said that about dad.”

“Hey,” Mary Margaret huffs, sliding her arm around Emma in greeting, “don’t be telling tales.”

“It’s true.”

“I’m clingy?” David questions, his forehead wrinkling when he raises his brows. “Since when am I clingy?”

“That’s a conversation for another time.”

“But I – ”

“Okay,” Emma claps, breaking up the argument that is very inevitably about to happen no matter how small it’s going to be, “so I’m going to show you guys to your suite before I have to go out onto the field for a bit.”

“Emma, I know my way around the stadium,” David grumbles like he always does when there is any implication that he does not know absolutely everything that he needs to know, but then he’s kissing her cheek in greeting and gently patting her back in that David way of letting her know that he’s teasing even when she already knows this. It’s, like, a whole full circle thing. “Why is it that you are taking us to a suite today instead of us just sitting in my seats?”

The scorecard keeps ticking higher on David mentioning his investment in baseball by mentioning his season-ticket seats, but honestly, she can’t even say anything.

“Because,” Emma sighs, wrapping her arm around Leo’s shoulder and pulling him forward, “you are a workaholic who needed to get out of the office and spend some time with your family, and I made some special arrangements for that. Also, it’s crazy hot outside today, and the suites have air-conditioning.”

They’re in one of the first suites that Emma comes to, and she unwraps her arm from Leo’s shoulder to flash her badge at one of the security guards in charge of the player family suites before a door is opened for them to go inside. Liam, Elsa, Anna, and Kris are already inside sitting down on the couches that are in front of the TV monitor, and Addy and Lucy are watching something on an iPad, pink headphones covering their ears.

“Emma, are those?” Mary Margaret asks, trailing off at the end.

“Yep, that’s Killian’s family.”

“But we haven’t even met Killian yet.”

“Oh,” Emma sighs, smiling a bit to herself at them reacting to this exactly the way that she knew that they would, “I know. He’ll be up here when he finishes with the game though, okay? I’m feeding him to the lion’s den while I’m working, but he’s going to take us all to dinner afterwards so that you guys can do your creepy interrogation like Liam did to me.”

“He did what now?” David fumes, reaching forward to gently grab her elbow while Liam himself turns around, finally spotting they they’ve entered the room.

Emma can’t help but roll her eyes while her stomach does that twisting thing that is pretty much becoming its trademark. All of these people are ridiculous. “It’s fine, David. It was a joke. But seriously. I might be in and out depending on how the game goes, but Killian is going to come up here after he finishes his cool down, and afterwards, we’re going out to dinner.”

“How is that going to work if you guys are keeping things quiet?”

Emma shrugs her shoulders, a little bit of nervous energy washing over her. It’s something she and Killian have talked about a lot in the past week now that everyone important knows about everything important, and while they’re still figuring things out, they’ve decided that it’s probably safe to go somewhere low key for dinner as long as they’re in a group. Maybe eventually they’ll be able to go to dinner with just the two of them without Emma looking over her shoulder. It’s not like Killian is Brad Pitt or anything, but her worries of being spotted are legitimate. She’s in a very happy little bubble right now, and even though a bit of it has been burst, it’s still holding strong.

She deserves this. Killian does too.

“We’ve got it figured out,” she tells David before walking toward Liam and greeting him with a hug and doing the same with everyone else. Killian’s family are a bunch of huggers, even for people they don’t know very well, and that’s something she’s figured out very quickly. “Okay, so I’m about to do some quick introductions, so everyone brace yourself.”

“David Nolan,” David interrupts, reaching forward to shake Liam’s hand in what Emma can tell is a far too hard handshake to show off some kind of weird masculine authority. “It’s nice to meet you – ”

“Liam Jones. And this is my wife Elsa, her sister Anna, and Anna’s husband Kris. The two munchkins ignoring us are my daughter’s Addison and Lucy, and I bet they will be great friends with your son.”

“How old are they?” Leo asks. “Because I don’t want to be friends with anyone younger than four.”

Elsa actually snorts while Mary Margaret’s intake of breath might as well be a sign that death is coming with how dramatic it was.

“Leo,” Mary Margaret admonishes, “that is not very nice. You should apologize.”

Elsa stops laughing to wave Mary Margaret away, a kind smile on her face. “It’s fine, I promise. I get it. The girls do stuff like that all of the time, and luckily for Leo, they are both a little bit older than that. Plus, Addy really likes Captain America too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why don’t you go over there and talk to her?”

Leo smiles and nods his head before sprinting over to the girls, plopping down on the couch hard enough that Addy and Lucy might as well bounce off of it.

“I’m really sorry about that,” Mary Margaret says again. “He was stuck with me working with a bunch of younger kids the other day, and I think that’s scarred him.”

“It really is fine,” Elsa smiles. “At least he’s a kid and there’s a bit of an excuse. Anna here sometimes says things like that, and she’s an adult.”

“Only technically,” Anna laughs.

“This is true,” Kris adds in.

“Hey, you’re not supposed to talk about me like that.”

“What? It’s true. It’s how you are. You have the enthusiasm of a kid with a bag of skittles. It’s wonderful.”

“Yeah, but you guys aren’t supposed to say things like that when we’re trying to make a good impression with Emma’s family. We’re supposed to look normal.”

It’s Emma’s turn to snort and shake her head before reaching forward to squeeze Anna’s forearm. “There’s no such thing as normal, which I’m sure you guys will realize as soon as I leave you all here to make some awkward small talk.”

“There isn’t going to be anything awkward about it,” Kris smiles before bumping his hip into Anna’s, “unless Anna keeps talking.”

“You are something else today.”

“You guys are all something else,” Emma laughs, hoping to everything that this is going to go well. This isn’t something she’s ever really had to do before, and it’s kind of terrifying. “But I trust that you can all get along with your spouses, since that seems to be a problem today, and each other. Now I’m going to go sweat my ass off outside, but you guys have a good time up here. And if they bring in those cheeseburger sliders, save me some.”

With that, she turns to walk out the door, knowing she doesn’t have time to go through proper goodbyes with all of them (she’d be there forever), and quickly makes her way to the elevator so that she can get to the tunnels that are going to take her out to the dugout. She always loves the days where she gets to spend some time in there, to really get a behind the scenes feel at it all, and while she’s a bit wary of some of the players now, she knows that it’s all going to be fine.

This is a game, but it’s also a job.

Al nods his head at her when she pushes open the door and walks toward her designated spot at the end with the water cooler and bat racks. August and Lance greet her, the rest of the guys sitting around ignoring her, and she’s thankful when she finds Jeff already in his seat.

“Hey,” he mumbles, his legs shaking up and down.

“Hey, why do you look nervous?”

“I’m fucking hot.”

Emma laughs and takes her seat next to him, and Jeff hands her the microphone pack and her earpiece, which she immediately turns on even though she knows Ruby is probably about to bombard her with questions.

“We can go inside for a bit when the first inning is over. I don’t plan on being out here the entire time.”

“Thank you.”

Emma knocks her knee into Jeff’sJeff’s,but he ignores her and turns his head to look out at the field. He’s always such a character.

“So,” Ruby teases, her voice breaking through the static, “how did the meeting go?”

“Fine. I bolted pretty quick, though. Also, Rubes, we can’t really talk about this stuff while I’m working.”

“Why not – oh, wait, never mind. I got you. There are a lot of people around who can hear you.”

“Yep,” Emma sighs, shaking her head a bit, “so tell me what kind of coverage you want me to get for this game. Jeff and I are already dying of heat.”

“Fine,” Ruby grumbles, and Emma can practically imagine the roll of her eyes, “I guess I will give you instructions for your job instead of gossiping about your life.”

-/-

Killian only pitches three innings, and while it’s a bit unusual, Emma doesn’t think anything of it. They’ve got their first road game in Boston next week, and she imagines Al doesn’t want anything to happen to Killian’s arm. And there’s no reason for him to overexert himself when they’re so easily winning and have already got this series in the bag no matter what happens the rest of the afternoon.

Plus, he winks at her when she finishes doing a quick interview with him after he’s pulled from the game, and the smile on his face tells her everything that she needs to know about how good he’s feeling.

She hopes that he feels that way after he goes upstairs and meets most everyone.

They probably should have eased everyone into it, but honestly, she thinks Killian will be more comfortable with his family around.

“Are you going to make me do one of those Instagram filters again today?” Will questions, as he plops down on the bench next to her, tilting the water cup back and drinking it down in one gulp. “Or am I playing twenty questions? Do you want to talk about my wedding? Or maybe even the game?”

“Shut up, asshole,” Emma laughs before reaching up to fan her face and wipe the sweat from her brow. “You’re the worst.”

“Um, actually, I believe you quite like me.”

“That’s debatable.”

Will hums as there’s some shuffling in front of them with Arthur King reaching around Emma to get his bat and helmet. Anxious shivers run down her spine when she sees him now, and her entire body stiffens until there’s a gentle pressure on her forearm from where Will is squeezing it.

“Hey,” he whispers, dipping his head down to look up at her, his goofy grin replaced with a soft smile that she usually doesn’t see with him, “you okay?”

She nods her head, wishing that her stomach wasn’t twisting like this. “I’m fine.”

“He’s not going to say shit like that again, Emma,” Will promises as his hand squeezes her arm again. “You are a member of this team, just like me and Killian and Rob, and we’ve got your back no matter what happens. I don’t let people talk shit about anyone but especially my friends.”

“Are we friends now?”

“Jones told me that we had to be.”

Emma scoffs and rolls her eyes, but she still knocks her knee into Will’s, a smile curving at the corner of her lips. Who knew that Will Scarlet was going to be so in her corner this early on? Or at all.

“Thanks. I’ll let you pick the filter you use the next time I do Instagram stuff simply because of that.”

“Sounds like music to my ears.”

-/-

Emma doesn’t get any chances to go back up to the suite during the game, but afterwards, when she’s wrapped up all of her work stuff and told Jeff goodbye, she finds herself walking through the suite doors only to find Killian standing at the counter wrapping sliders in a paper towel while talking to David.

Should she focus on the fact that she knows that Killian’s wrapping those up for her even though she asked everyone else to do it or the fact that Killian is talking to David?

Probably both.

“Hey,” she says slowly, stepping up to the two of them so that they both glance over at her, small smiles gracing both of their lips. Okay, good, that’s a good sign. “How are things going?”

“Just dandy,” Killian tells her, lifting his arm so that she can step into his space and press up on her toes to kiss his cheek. “Dave is telling me about how he makes me look good on TV.”

“Dave?” she questions, and all Killian does in response is brush a kiss over the hair at the crown of her head.

“That is not exactly what I was saying,” David clarifies. “Killian asked me about work, and I explained it to him. Him thinking that he needs help to look good is all on him.”

“I mean, I get it. I help him look good every week when I could very easily make him look awful.”

“You are so kind to me, darling.”

“I know.”

Killian smiles down at her in that way that makes her heart stutter and her breath hitch, and there are so many emotions flying through her right now that she’s not entirely sure what to feel. There are also a million questions she’s going to have to gulp down, and Emma already knows that she’s going to have to ask Mary Margaret or Elsa for all of the details how everything went.

She really, really, really  wants Killian and David to get along. That’s, like, everything to her even if she didn’t realize it when this whole thing started. Ruth and Mary Margaret will like anyone who is nice to her, but David has seen so much of the shit that’s happened in her life that he’s a little bit more particular.

Okay, a lot.

“Are these sliders for me?” she asks even though she already knows the answer.

“Aye. I figured you’d want something to eat on the way to the restaurant since I didn’t see you eat during the game. Were you avoiding it so as not to get on camera again?”

“Kind of. It was also too damn hot to eat.”

Killian’s lips tick up on the right, his brow arching high on his head, and she knows that there’s a dirty joke rumbling around in there. It must be hard for him not to be able to say it, but they are most definitely not at a comfort level where he can talk about having sex with her in front of David. In fact, it’s probably best if they never get to that comfort level.

“Dad,” Leo groans as he walks over to the them, “Mom said to ask you when we can go eat.”

“I think we can go now since Emma’s all finished with work.”

“Thank goodness. I thought I was going to starve to death.”

“You know, kid,” Killian laughs, dropping his arm from around Emma’s shoulder, “you sound a lot like your aunt.”

What can she say? She and Leo like to eat.

They go to a low-key pizza place six blocks over from Liam and Elsa’s townhome. All of them are so spread out in different boroughs of the city that it’s pretty much impossible to meet in the middle, but Liam suggested the place since he knows that it’s quiet and that the girls like it a lot. Emma’s honestly pretty nervous walking inside, Killian following right behind her with his hand ghosting over the small of her back. It’s odd to have been dating someone for this much time and never really been out with them, but this relationship is never going to fall into the category of ordinary anyways. It’s always going to be a little off and a little funky, and that’s fine with her because it works. She’s never been one to need to be wined and dined anyways.

And maybe she’s also nervous because of the fear that someone is going to see them and that connections are going to be made, but Elsa quickly talks to the hostess and has them moved to a large corner booth in the back that no one else in the restaurant can really see. Bless Elsa. Honestly and truly. Emma knew she would be great for how Killian always talked about her, but Emma had no idea that she was going to so quickly hit it off with the woman so that they almost feel like friends now too.

It’s been a week since they met, but everything goes so naturally that it feels like so much longer.

This isn’t her or her life or the way things usually go. Emma doesn’t just make friends with people she meets and doesn’t integrate her life with others. The only constant friend she’s had over the past six years that isn’t somehow quasi-related to her is Ruby – toss Graham in there too – and if it wasn’t for Ruby pretty much demanding that she and Emma get along, Emma would probably still think of the woman as just her producer.

How different life would be.

So Emma is definitely not the type of person to have multiple people texting her throughout the day or asking about plans, knowing and understanding that the rigorous game scheduling makes those plans kind of difficult to make. But here she is at a table with ten other people where the conversation is easily flowing from subject to subject because all of these people are making an effort to get along for she and Killian.

She’s got some pretty awesome people around her, the man whose hand keeps inching up on her inner thigh included.

Emma twists her head to look at Killian and tell him to stop teasing her by squeezing her thigh, but instead of seeing the smirk she was expecting, his free hand reaches up to cover his mouth as he yawns.

“Are you tired?”

Killian nods as he keeps yawning, small tears escaping the corners of his eyes, and when the yawn finishes, he has to keep blinking the tears away. “Exhausted. I could go for an entire vat of caffeine.”

“Or get an IV of coffee in your arm.”

“What?” he questions, very obviously not getting her reference.

“Gilmore Girls reference, twenty-nine,” Emma sighs, patting his hand on her thigh. “Gilmore Girls. I know we’ve talked about it before. You should watch it when you have time. It’s, like, a peak early 2000’s show. But you can skip the last season.”

“I’ll keep that in mind when I inevitably forget about this conversation and the show.”

“Do you need to go home? We can leave whenever.”

“No,” Killian promises even though he yawns when he says it, “I’m good for a little while longer.”

“Is it past your bedtime?” Lucy asks quietly from her seat next to Emma.

“Do you think your uncle goes to bed before you, sweetie?”

“He looks sleepy. Do you want my pizza?”

Emma’s not exactly sure where the correlation is there, but that’s kind of how kids are. It’s much more entertaining than talking to adults sometimes.

“No, Luce,” Killian promises, leaning over Emma to talk to her, “I don’t want your pizza, but thank you. That’s very sweet. I think it’s past your bedtime though.”

“It’s not Lucy’s bedtime for another hour,” Addy helpfully adds in, much to the amusement of everyone else. “Mine isn’t until eight because I’m older.”

“Mine is at nine,” Leo says.

“I wish I could go to bed that early,” Elsa sighs as she reaches down to pick up her glass of water. “You guys don’t know how good you’ve got it sleeping that much.”

“I don’t like to sleep,” Addy laughs.

“Me either,” Leo says back to Addy, giving her a high five.

Mary Margaret is probably already planning their wedding or something ridiculous like that for how much fun they seem to be having. Actually, Mary Margaret is probably planning hypothetical weddings for several people at this table, but that is not something Emma is going to start thinking about. Nope. Not anywhere near to even being close to being ready and the little thoughts need to chill the hell out. So, if Mary Margaret is going to plan creepy hypothetical weddings, it can be her son’s.

They’ll probably have Captain America-themed plates with baseball hats and stuffed animals from the zoo lining the aisle.

Okay, now Emma is the crazy one.

Maybe she’s a little tired too.

“So, Killian,” David starts, very obviously changing the subject, “I mean to ask earlier, but why did Al pull you out of the game so early?”

Killian’s hand squeezes her thigh, nails digging into the skin a bit roughly, but then he’s letting out a breath and releasing her thigh so that he can scratch at his jaw. “Ah, preservation for the Sox series. Nothing to worry about. I wasn’t feeling top notch, and it’s better not to risk it, you know?”

“That makes sense. I feel like I spend so much time simply making sure things run smoothly on camera that I never get to actually pay attention to the game, so today was nice.”

“See,” Emma huffs, looking between the two of them and pushing down that little feeling of worry over Killian not feeling well today. It was probably just the heat. “I told you that it would be nice. You got all defensive about sitting in the suite.”

“To be fair, I had no idea we would be meeting Killian’s family today.”

“Yeah, hon,” Mary Margaret sighs before picking up a slice of pizza and taking a bite, “we were blindsided a bit, and apparently everyone else already knew.”

“I didn’t want you to prepare questions or some kind of actual interrogation or something else ridiculous beforehand. You have a tendency to be a little too much on the friendly scale.”

“I do not.”

“You totally do.”

“How?”

“Marg,” Emma laughs, “you probably would have been like Ariel and tried planning a vacation for all of us before you even shook Liam’s hand.”

“I would not have.”

“I bet if I looked at your phone right now there would be flights pulled up to Aspen or something.”

Mary Margaret narrows her eyes at Emma, but then Anna is clapping her hands together and making everyone look at her. “Oh, I just love this too much! I think a group vacation would be the most fun.”

Everyone starts laughing, and Killian picks up his bottle of beer to tilt at Anna. “Emma was right when she said that you and Mary Margaret get along swimmingly. It’s uncanny, actually, how similar you are.”

“Friendly people make friends, little brother.”

“Liam, I don’t know how many times I have to say that there is nothing little about me. Ask Emma.”

“Oh my God,” Emma gasps, reaching back to slap his chest, “no. We are not talking about that. You’re an idiot. There are children here.”

“To be fair,” Kris starts, and everyone turns to him, “they got here by the either little or not-so-little attachments we’re alluding to.”

Nothing like alluding to dicks to make a group of people come together.

Okay, that thought could be taken a lot dirtier than Emma intended, so it’s a good thing she’s not thinking out loud.

They all quietly leave the restaurant half an hour later, the conversation and laughter not at all slowing down for the rest of the time there. Maybe it was the bit of alcohol that most everyone had or maybe it was simply hitting a stride in conversation, but it doesn’t really matter. All Emma knows is that her stomach hurts from laughing and she’s got this smile on her face that she hopes stays for awhilea while.

“Today was nice,” Mary Margaret sighs as the two of them stand outside the restaurant while David and Killian settle the bill inside. “I like Killian a lot. I really like that he makes you smile.”

Emma blushes, and her smile increases despite her best efforts not to let it. Who in the world is this woman who is smiling all of the time? This is not her. But maybe it is now.

“You are such a mom, Marg.”

“Literally I am.”

“You know what I mean, though.”

“I do, I do,” she sighs, wrapping her arm around Leo’s waist and pulling him closer so that he doesn’t wander off the sidewalk and into the street. “But you’re basically my first baby even though this one came so close after I met you. All I want is for you to be happy, and that man makes you happy.”

“Yeah, he does.”

“Emma,” Leo asks, looking up at her as the restaurant doors open behind him, “can I meet Will Scarlet now too?”

“We’ll see, kid,” Emma laughs. “We’ll see.”

“You ready to go, love?”

Killian walks over to her and moves to wrap his arm around her shoulder before stopping himself, eyes glancing to the few people around them, and Emma’s heart sinks at that. But she knows that this is for the best, and Killian not being able to wrap his arm around her shoulder when they’re about to get in the car isn’t that big of a deal. It’s really not a deal at all, and Emma pushes down her worries so that she can look up at Killian and smile.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

The two of them say their goodbyes to everyone else before walking two blocks over to find Killian’s car where it’s parked, Killian opening her door for her even when she insists that she do it herself so that Emma can quickly slide into the passenger’s seat.

“You and David took a million years to pay.”

“Did we?” Killian hums, very pointedly taking a little too long inspecting the gearshift.

“You did. Did he go all big-brother on you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Swan.”

“You, Killian Jones,” Emma scoffs as Killian pulls out of the parking spot and onto the street, “are a liar.”

“And obviously not a very good one either.”

Emma sighs as Killian twists his head and winks at her, a mischievous smile painted on his lips. “What did David ask you?”

“About my intentions with you.”

Groaning, she sinks down further on the leather seat, wondering if it’s acceptable to unbutton her shorts because she’s eaten pizza and cheeseburger sliders in the past three hours and has food babies inside of her stomach. Multiple. That’s how much she has eaten.

“Seriously?”

“Yep,” Killian laughs, turning the blinker on before reaching over to grab her hand and bring her knuckles to his lips to brush a kiss there, the charmer.

“What’d you tell him?”

“That I love you and am very much in this for the long haul as long as you’ll have me. Now do you want to go to your place or mine?”

“Mine,” Emma tells him as her heart stutters in her chest at his words and all of the implications behind them. “Let’s go to my place.”

[downn-in-flames]

and it was like slow motion

What do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn't show?

{prequel the first to and all the pieces fall}

notes: this is just a short little one-shot prequel to a novel i've got in the works - it's an alternate universe in which voldemort doesn't exist and james + lily don't get together during their seventh year. the novel picks up about three years after they've graduated hogwarts, and this one-shot takes place in september 1978.if you can't tell by the title and summary alone, this fic is heavily based on the moment i knew by taylor swift, and the series as a whole pulls from the red, reputation, and lover albums. :P

read it on: hpft | ao3 | ffnet

She'd be lying if she said she didn't pick this dress out specifically for James.

He'd always liked her in yellow, always told her it made her look like sunshine. And she'd always flushed at the compliment, unsure if it was meant to be friendly or meant to be something more.

She's now almost positive that it was the latter.

The sweetheart neckline is also for his benefit; it shows off her cleavage just enough that she knows he won't be able to resist glancing at it every so often, and she'll obviously call him out on it, and he'll stammer out some sort of excuse, and she'll respond with something coy, and…

She's getting ahead of herself.

But she can't really help it - she hasn't seen the bloke since graduation, so it's natural that she'd be a little overeager about the thought of seeing him again.

She watches as her reflection runs her hands over the fabric, making sure every last inch of it is in place. Her red hair falls down her back in waves and her makeup is mostly natural - nothing like the sort of stuff she's gotten used to - but it's enough to make her look like she's positively glowing.

There's a knock on the door, effectively startling Lily from her trance of watching herself in the mirror.

She knows, objectively, that it's not James - James has never been great about getting anywhere on time, he was at least somewhat better while he was Head Boy, but that was only for official things. Anything else, and he was useless.

But even despite that logic, she feels hope rise in her chest anyways.

When she opens the door though, there's no tall, dark-haired boy behind it. Instead, there's Marlene and Dorcas.

"Hot damn," Marlene says, in lieu of a normal greeting. "You look like you're trying to stun someone."

Dorcas snorts at that. "Let me guess, he's about yea tall, plays professional Quidditch, perpetually has sex hair, name rhymes with Hotter?"

Lily flushes at the call-out.

Arguing with her would be entirely useless - Dorcas is completely aware of how much she'd come to fancy James in their last few months of Hogwarts.

"You're going to succeed, you know," Dorcas tells her. "Potter could barely keep his eyes off of you in Hogwarts robes, much less this. He'll be goddamn speechless."

"I'm honestly surprised this is the first time you're seeing him since graduation," Marlene adds. "Quidditch training can't be that time-consuming, can it? You two were practically attached at the hip by the last month of school."

Lily shrugs, trying her best to keep her face impassive. "I dunno, I guess it's just a big adjustment for him, getting used to the whole professional athlete life."

"Yeah, I suppose."

But the truth is… she doesn't fully get it either. She's written to him five or so times since graduation, asking about life and training and casually suggesting that maybe they grab dinner and catch up with each other, if he's got a free night any time soon? And yet, every time, her owl has returned empty-clawed. He's not responded to her once. She knows full well that he was always terrible at responding to his mum's letters at school - he got more than one half-hearted Howler about his lack of response - but… five times?

She supposes she can ask him about that when he gets here today. Or, at the very least, decide on a better form of communication where he'll actually remember to answer her.

Because despite all of the letters going unanswered, she knows he'll be here today. This is different from a short blurb of a letter - this is a party they'd all had planned since the first of September last year. A reunion party when the Hogwarts Express left King's Cross for the first time without any of them on it. They'd talked about it constantly all year.

She combs back through her memory of seventh year, through the many, many times he said he'd be here today - he wouldn't go back on that.

Her little flat is decorated perfectly for the occasion - red and gold balloons all over, just like their House colours, and lots of sweets available, just like the ones the trolley witch always comes around with. And the, of course, a fair bit of alcohol, which is decidedly not just like the Hogwarts Express, but seems to be a necessity at a post-graduation party.

Marlene and Dorcas sit on her couch, poking through the candy selection on the table in front of them, and Lily's just about to join them when there's another knock.

It's Remus this time, and he gives Lily a big hug as soon as she opens the door for him.

"It's so good to see you, Lil," he tells her.

She beams at him. "You too."

"I keep feeling like I've forgotten something," he laughs. "Shouldn't we be on a train right now?"

"Shit, I'm supposed to be running a prefect meeting right now."

"I'm sure they're all awfully lost right now, without either of their Heads," Remus replies.

"Oi, Lupin, stop talking about school and come pour yourself a drink!" Marlene yells from the other side of the flat, and Remus' attention is diverted.

"McKinnon, you haven't changed one bit."

"Well of course I haven't," she answers reasonably. "It's only been three months - how much can someone change in three months?"

"Hey Marley," Dorcas says to her, "remember that summer you left Hogwarts straight as an arrow and came back loudly announcing to everyone you knew that you were 'gay as hell'? Because I'd say that's a pretty big change for three months."

"I was never 'straight as an arrow'," Marlene retorts. "I was just heavily closeted - there's a difference."

Dorcas shrugs, then throws her arm around her girlfriend. "Fair enough."

"Evans!" Through her still-open front door she hears the all-too-familiar voice of Sirius Black yelling her name - she briefly entertains the hope that James will be walking up to her doorstep with him, but when she turns her head to see him, it's just the one.

"Black," she replies with a grin - even though she's disappointed that James isn't here yet, she's undeniably excited to see Sirius as well.

He spins her around in a tight hug as soon as he crosses the threshold into her flat - honestly, she can't believe a full three months have passed since she's seen him. He gives damn good hugs.

"I've got to say," he says, appraising her after he sets her back down, "you pull off Muggle clothes infinitely better than wizarding ones."

She's got a whole closet worth of elaborate and increasingly risqué wizarding dress robes that would likely beg to differ, but Sirius can't know about those (because he'd surely ask how she's managed to get her hands on all of those, and that's a question she absolutely cannot answer for him), so she just laughs and agrees with him.

"I never did much enjoy Hogwarts robes."

"Neither did I, Evans," he replies with a grin. "Neither did I."

Then he turns his attention to Remus, who's still standing on Lily's other side. "Moony, long time no see," he says, and there's a slightly devious look in his eyes that makes Remus flush.

Lily makes a mental note to figure out what that's all about eventually.

Mary arrives a few minutes later, then Peter after that. Everyone pours themselves drinks and makes themselves comfortable all across Lily's living room, stealing chairs from her kitchen or sitting on the floor as they all trade stories and memories.

"Remember our first train ride to Hogwarts, Evans?" Sirius asks her. "Remember what little shits James and I were?"

Lily thinks back to that day, back to that exchange in the train compartment where she'd so passionately defended Snape to an exceptionally obnoxious James and Sirius. It's a strange memory to think back on, purely because of how tainted it's become. The boy she'd protected turned out to be a closeted blood purist who called her a nasty slur and condoned attacks on her friends, and the boys she'd been yelling at grew up to be the good ones, and the ones she's actually friends with now.

"We were all little shits," she clarifies.

"Speaking of Prongs," Peter chimes in, "where is he?"

Lily's almost glad someone else brought up James' absence - she's had her eyes on the door almost constantly for the past fifteen minutes or so, just waiting for him to walk in. She hopes no one has noticed that, but knowing her friends, at least one of them has.

Sirius shrugs. "No fucking clue. He's usually late, but he's not usually this late. Not to mention that it's, well… "

"It's Lily's party, and James's ability to be on time only exists specifically for her?" Marlene finishes, none-too-subtly.

"Yes, exactly that."

Lily tries to act more nonchalant than she feels. She's not going to acknowledge the sinking feeling that's started in her gut, not going to give it any power over her while she's supposed to be enjoying time with her friends. He's just running later than usual, that's all.

"It's fine," she tells them. "He'll get here when he gets here."

She's greeted with more than one slightly suspicious look, like they don't believe she's as casual about his tardiness as she seems, and she immediately feels the need to turn the attention away from herself. They're all acting like she's made of glass or something, and she doesn't like that one bit.

"How has James been lately?" Mary asks. "I haven't heard from him once since graduation."

She's looking at Lily as she poses the question, like she's expecting Lily to have seen him more recently. Lily doesn't want to admit that she hasn't heard anything from him either, if only because acknowledging that means coming to terms with the fact that maybe she's no different from Mary in his eyes.

But maybe no one's heard from him. Maybe he's just stopped talking to Sirius and Remus and Peter as well and it's just an everyone thing as he adjusts to his new training schedule.

"He's doing pretty good," Peter answers, not picking up on the fact that Mary's question was aimed at Lily and not him. "He spends most of his time training or with his teammates though - I've only seen him like four times all summer."

Four times. Peter - and presumably Remus and Sirius too - have seen James four times since graduation. She hasn't seen him once - hell, she hasn't even gotten a single letter. And clearly, yeah, he is busy, but he's not too busy to see his other friends.

She'd really thought, after graduation and that last night before they left Hogwarts, that they were in a good place. That his feelings for her were the same as hers for him - he'd certainly made it seem that way, at the very least. After all of that, why would he decide to stop talking to her - and just her?

"He's too good for us now," Sirius says, and the smirk on his face says that he's being sarcastic, but his words hit Lily with full force.

She hadn't really let herself consider that option before, the idea that James would somehow move on - move past - his school friends, ditching them entirely for a new life. He'd never made any sort of indication that he was planning on doing that at school, had never said anything that would make her believe he thought himself above the rest of them after signing his Quidditch contract.

She doesn't want to believe he'd be that person.

But time is ticking, and he's still not here.

***

The hours pass by, and Lily's trying her best to enjoy herself, sipping at a butterbeer and laughing along with everyone, but really, she just wants to be alone.

She looks around the room - everyone's talking and laughing, but it's still obvious that there's one thing missing. That there's one person missing.

And in that moment, the truth finally sinks in.

Despite his promises and the fact that all of his other friends are here today, James isn't coming today. Something has changed between the two of them, a total about-face from their last interactions, and he's decided to cut her out as a result.

Sirius's earlier sarcasm was a thin mask of the truth - James is probably too caught up in his new glamorous professional Quidditch lifestyle to give a damn about some girl from his Hogwarts days anymore.

And as usual, she's put her faith in someone who's decided that the best option is to crush it under their heel.

She feels a tightness growing in her chest, and suddenly, the desire to be alone becomes a need. "I'm going to the loo," she says abruptly, interrupting whatever conversation that she was only halfway paying attention to her, setting her bottle down on the table in front of her and leaving the room as fast as she can without acting suspicious.

She goes down the hallway and closes the door behind her.

There, in the bathroom, she tries not to fall apart, fingers gripping at the edge of the bathroom sink tightly. She stares at them, watching her knuckles go white.

"He said he'd be here," she says hopelessly, to no one but herself, her voice barely above a whisper.

She knows it's stupid, because he said he'd be here months ago, and things change, and he's incredibly busy with Pride of Portree. But he'd told her, with her hands in his and a look of utmost sincerity in his eyes, that he wouldn't miss this party for the world.

And like a fool, she'd believed him.

She looks back up at the mirror, at the single tear running down her cheek, and her jaw sets. She should've known better than to let herself care this deeply about someone again. She shouldn't have given James this power over her, the power to cut her this deeply over something as little as blowing off a party.

Fuck. She swore, after Snape, that she wasn't going to give anyone else the potential to break her like that. She wasn't going to let herself fall for anyone's stupid tricks or lies anymore.

And… maybe that's the problem. Nothing about James has ever felt like a trick, or a lie, or like he's ever anything but what he appears to be. That's one of the things she likes best about him, the fact that he's unapologetically himself and doesn't waver from that.

The idea that he's changed so much in three short months - from the boy who'd become one of her best friends and trusted her with all his biggest secrets, to someone who wants nothing to do with her - feels like such a sudden and unexpected shift. Especially when, as Marlene had pointed out just a few hours ago, it's not like the rest of them have changed much since school ended.

But it seems that's exactly what happened - she really can't think of any other plausible explanation for all of this. And really, she should've realised it a while ago.

She curses herself, again, because why the fuck did she not see this coming? Why did it take three months, multiple unresponded letters, and a no-show at a party for her to realise James doesn't really care about her the way she'd let herself believe he did? Why did she let herself get blinded by affection and feelings and rose-coloured glasses, only to get herself hurt again?

Petunia, Severus, James. She's been through this shit three times now.

And this time, she's done with it - she's had enough. She's done letting people in, letting them have such a profound piece of her heart, because clearly even the people she thinks are somehow different and better turn out to be exactly the same as everyone before.

She wipes the tears from her cheeks, determined not to let herself continue to cry over someone who doesn't deserve it.

There's a soft knock at the door and Remus' voice comes through from the other side. "Lily?"

"Yes?" She wills her voice not to crack - and it doesn't. If nothing else, her Order work so far has really done wonders for her acting abilities.

"We just - I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Of course. Despite her best acting, James's close friends have always had a bit of a sense on when something's really wrong - her abrupt departure from the party seems to be no exception. She's willing to bet more than one of them followed her down the hall.

She gets confirmation of that when she opens the door and is face-to-face with both Remus and Sirius. "I'm brilliant," she tells them, hoping like hell that it's not too obvious that she was crying just a few minutes ago.

"Evans, I've got no clue why he didn't show today," Sirius says. "I mean, we've definitely talked about it recently, so it's not like he just forgot about it."

Lily doesn't miss the subtle elbow from Remus at that, a small jab of you're not helping.

"It's fine," she lies. Even though it's not.

But what else is she supposed to say? That the one person whose presence meant the most to her is the one who didn't show up, and that it's finally shown her just how much he doesn't care about her anymore?

"No, it's not," Sirius argues back. "It's real shitty of him to just not show up to something we've all been planning for a year with no explanation to you whatsoever."

And secretly, she agrees with him. But she also refuses to let him know that she cares that much.

"It really is," she tells them, brushing her hair over her shoulder. "He's got his Quidditch career to pay attention to now, and like you said, he's too good for us - too good for me - now. That's fine, I really don't care."

She'll keep saying that out loud until she starts to mean it.

If not letting herself care about anyone is the way she stops getting betrayed, than so be it. She'll be a heartless ice queen if that's what it takes.

Both Remus and Sirius just look at her, slightly aghast, and Lily thinks to herself that, at the very least, a shocked look is better than a pitying one.

"Lily - " Remus starts.

"Let's get back to the party, yeah?" she says, and the nonchalance in her voice feels less faked this time. "I want to watch Peter get his eyebrows get burned off in Exploding Snap for the thousandth time."

***

The next morning, after everyone's left (because of course everyone else ended up getting too plastered to Apparate home and ended up crashing on the floor of her tiny one-bedroom flat), she goes about the process of cleaning up the apartment from the mess they'd made the night before. She's long since abandoned the yellow party dress in favour of an oversized T-shirt and pajama shorts, and she waves her wand and watches as the empty bottles and cups pile themselves in the bin, the balloons deflate and follow suit, and all her cushions right themselves again.

Then she sets down her wand, because she wants to do this next part by hand.

When she'd moved into this flat, she'd covered the walls of her living room with pictures of her Hogwarts years. The room is filled with images of her laughing and smiling with friends - and somehow, James is a nearly constant fixture in all of them.

And so, one by one, she removes every single one of them from her walls. Every single photograph with his stupid face gets put into a pile of memories she no longer wants to be confronted with every day.

But as much as she just wants to get rid of them permanently, she can't quite convince herself to part with them just yet. So she summons a small black storage box from her closet, piling them all inside and closing the lid neatly on top. Locked up in a box, just like she's locking them all away in her mind.

She carries the box into her bedroom, shoving it as far under her bed as she can manage. It can stay there and collect dust for… Merlin knows how long. And maybe one day, when she truly and completely stops giving a fuck about James Potter, she'll find it and laugh and shove it into the bin for real this time.

The rest of her Sunday is spent deep-cleaning the rest of her flat, writing an update to Dumbledore, and perusing the Sunday edition of the Prophet for anything interesting. The sun is low in the sky when an owl comes knocking at her window, bearing a tiny, rolled-up scroll.

She opens the window for just long enough to take the letter from the owl, before sending it on its way. She unfurls the note, revealing one messily-written line in black ink.

I'm sorry I didn't make it yesterday. -J

She looks at the letter - if it can even be called that, it's barely even a sentence - and answers it aloud with words she'll never send.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, too."

[candlecat624]

Some Good Omens OC art + a headcanon (in the form of a story because I didn’t know how else to explain it and a story seemed like fun)

(TD;LR is at the very end, just before the art also if there's any trigger warnings I need to add please don’t be afraid to let me know!)

“Hey Charlie,” Warlock piped up suddenly in their study session, putting his pencil down as he looked up at the demon sitting next to him. “What’s it like when an angel falls?”

Charlie paused for a second in thought. She decided that he would tell the 13-year old since he had been doing such a good job at his math homework thus far. She let out a breath, recalling the small fragments of the Revolution and The Great Fall all those years ago.

“As an angel, your fall is both graceful and destructive. But just for a split second, you belong to both sides. As half of your holy connection to God herself is burnt away and replaced with demonic ambition, there’s still half of you that’s connected to Her, making you half-demon and half-angel, even if it’s just for a moment. Any questions so far rascal?”

Warlock quickly shook his head yes as he asked another question, his eyes filled with curiosity and a smile as wide as can be. Charlie chuckled at the small-in-comparison-to-her boy’s enthusiasm.

“But what about your fall Cherry? I overheard you talking to Aziraphale and Crowley and Lizard about the 50s and you just had a full-on breakdown. I uh...”

Warlock rubbed his arm in embarrassment as he looked away, feeling Charlie’s gaze go from motherly to stone cold.

“The books in his bookshop were getting kinda boring so I crept down onto the staircase and uhh... eavesdropped a little bit. Maybe even watched a little.”

“Warlock we talked about this. I thought we agreed that if we got bored that we wouldn’t do things like eavesdrop on people, ok?”

Warlock nodded in shame, emitting a small ‘mhm’ as he did so.  

“Promise me you won’t do it again?” Charlie softly smiled, her rock hard stare softening as she presented her right pinky finger out to him, waiting for him to either accept or decline the pinky promise. His smile returned as he interlocked their pinkys, the two of them shaking their interlocked pinkies in one fluid motion, sealing the promise.

“Promise”

“That’s my boy. Now, where were we?” She smiled as she unlinked their pinkies and closed his math book, chucking it over her shoulder and across the room.

“The 50s.”

“Right. I stayed an angel during the revolution and only decided to go into the whole being a demon thing in the 50s. Long story shor-”

“Don't give me the short version!” Warlock quickly jumped in. “I want to hear every detail. If video games are any sign Hell is awesome as...Hell!”

Charlie giggled as she listened to the child talk. “Alright, alright. Just be warned it’s pretty longggg~” She dragged out the g emphasis her point. He groaned playfully, knowing all too well what long meant.

“Alright, alright. Give me the medium-length version.”

“Gotcha rascal”

Charlie ‘dramatically’ cleared her throat, showing the child she was going into nanny mode. “But first, we should probably get settled. It’s getting late and this is probably going to be more of an unsettling bedtime story than a videogame character’s backstory.“

Warlock quickly got up, his chair almost falling over as he started running excitedly to his room like a small child. Charlie followed shortly behind walking...but then the temptation of acting like a child overcame her and she took off her boots and she started running after him. By the time she got to Warlock’s room, he had tucked himself in bed and had been patiently waiting for her. Charlie arrived in her old nanny outfit thanks to a quick miracle. 

“Ta ta~” She did jazz hands as Warlock smiled. 

“Just like old times, Cherry.”

“Just like old times, rascal. So who’s ready for a story!”

Warlock’s right hand shot up as he excitedly smiled, his inner child showing. “Me! I do!”

Charlie chuckled as she walked over to the side of the bed and sat down, the old chair that Crowley and she used to share still in its original place. 

“Comfy?” Warlock nodded. Charlie smiled sweetly. “Good.”

“Now when I decided to become a demon, Crowley took my down into Hell. Because I was an angel, I couldn't go by myself. I didn’t have the demonic drive needed to go, but with Crowly I was able to enter the gates easily. When I got down there, I met up with Lord Beelzebub and the Dukes Hastur and Ligur.”

“Ligur was the one I insulted, right?”

“Yep! I’m still so proud of you for that. Back to the story, I met up with the three of them and Crowley helped me arrange monthly meetings with them so I could get some special injections of liquid Hellfire and some other stuff that I can’t remember. I still have a hole from where the needles were. Wanna see?”

“That's.. that's gross but hell yeah!”

Charlie took off her lil Mary Poppins cape thingy and rolled up her left dress shirt sleeve, showing a small hole in her arm. The edges of the circular hole were corroding and black, small black veins just under the skin around the hole. Warlock ‘awed at the hole, looking at it like it was a shiny new gaming console or something really interesting for a 13-year-old. 

“Can I touch it?”

“Uhhh...probably best not too.” She gently pokes the hole. “This bad boy can fit so much liquid hellfire in it.” There was a moment of intense staring and silence until the two started laughing. It took the pair a minute to calm down.

“Back to the story my dear,” she started to tuck him back into bed in an attempt to help calm him down to the point where she knew he would concentrate. She rolled her sleeve back down and put her cape thing back on. “So I got my injections in 3 years instead of 5 because I was a boss bitch and wanted my shit earlier. Anyway, I got all the injections and a few days after my transformation I went into Hell for my coronation ceremony where Lord Beelzebub sorted me into one of the seven circles of Hell, each one representing a different deadly sin.”

“Which one did you get sorted into? I can’t picture you like any of the sins, to be honest.” Warlock tried to think of which sin she would fit as for a moment, but his mind turned up blank. He had nothing. 

“I was sorted into Lust. My missions here on Earth were originally centered around tempting people into lustful acts. Especially just tempting priests about young girls though. Eugh. I hated those ones. But then I was set up with Crowley to look after the antichrist. You know the rest.”

Charlie looked over at the clock. The time displayed was 10:48pm. She looked over at Warlock who was readjusting his pillow so he would be able to hug it.

“Would you be comfortable with a kiss on the forehead? I know you’re older now but I think it’d be a nice nostalgia thing. No pressure though.”

Warlock smiled, the memories of his childhood flooding back to him all at once. “Yes please.”

She leaned down and gently kissed his forehead as she pulled the blankets up to his chin once he got comfortable. “Good night, my little destroyer of my heart.” She left the room, turning off the lights and gently shutting the door. She smiled, closing her eyes for a few moments as she remembered all the days she’d look after the young boy with her old friend Crowley.

TL;DR

Headcanon: If you were an angel who wanted to become a demon after the revolution you had to get a series of injections across a few years and get a coronation into a circle of hell.

also a lot of fluffy moments between 13yr Warlock and his second Nanny, Nanny Cherry (my OC :D)

Charlie: It kinda feels like you’re chained to both sides when you can feel that you’re halfway down to Hell...Kinda glad you only go through it once

(Click for better quality :D)

[aceyanaheim]

I got this from Mary P. Sue’s blog. It looked like fun so I took her invite to any followers who wanted to do it.

Author Name: AceyAnaheim

Fandoms You Write For: Multifandom

Where You Post: Here mostly. I have an AO3 but I haven’t used it much.

Most Popular One-shot: On Clarity And Promises ( The Originals) 

Most Popular Multi-chapter Story: I haven’t….posted any. >.>

Favorite Story You Wrote: Cake and Everything.

Story You Were Nervous To Post: Each and every one of them.  

I have very high anxiety about sharing my writing. I’ve only shared it with a few close friends and even that took a while.

I think Cake and Everything was a lil bit more nerve-wracking just because I have very dear friends I look up to who write Seto already so well and its hard not to think i need to....do it as good as them I guess. 

Also my Stanuary fic ( no link bc Im not...particularly proud of it) for similar reasons. I know people in the GF fandom that are like uber talented and that I also look up to as artists..and as people since they were super welcoming and nice and GF was my starting thing on tumblr. I was super nervous that compared to their work..it just wasn’t good enough to share.

When I look up to and/or care about people..I tend to want everything I share with them to be good. It’s..it’s a bit of a mind trap I’ll admit. I’m trying to work on it. 

But also ( for the stanuary fic) I just spent way too little time on it and compromised quality over meeting the prompt list/deadline and it.. I knew it wasn’t something I wanted to share which..made me more nervous about sharing it.

It’s interesting that Cake and Everything was the first fic I shared on tumblr since the Stanuary fic. I’m thinking that first thing you share ( either the first fic you share period or the first fic you feel like it’s good enough to share with people) also adds nervousness. 

But I’m workin on gettin over all of that.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: Very Randomly. I don’t put as much thought into it as I probably should. It’s often the last thing I do and usually I’m just looking to fill in the bar. I know its important and I’m tryin to work on puttin more thought on it but...yeah.

Do You Outline: I used to. But not as much lately.  I suspect I will have to for multi-chapter works.

Complete: >.> Oneshots count right?

In Progress: Tales of The Clans. ( Anne B Walsh’s Dangerverse) 

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: I really wanna get into the Trancendence AU and write something about Toby Pines and Alcor because Begrudging Promotion To Parent is my jam. A fic about what happens when Laura Kinney becomes Seto Kaiba’s bodyguard. Mayyybe a Supernatural Next Gen fic if I can get myself into it again. Other stuff I’m  not sure I’m ready to share yet but include Marvel’s Runaways, X Men First Class, and Disney’s Descendants as well as an OC centered fic set in The Nightworld Series’ world that is way too long and someone should talk me out of tackling but I have the most amazing friends and instead it’s being encouraged and oh gosh if I could show yall the outline.Its a freakin Huge multichapter multi character behemoth looking thing. I dont know what i was thinking.

Anyways.

 I have some DDADS ideas both for fic proper and a Crossover with In The Heights. 

Oh and sometimes I entertain the thought of Movie!Laura being found/adopted by Seto because self indulgence is a powerful beast but thats a bit trickier to mesh together into a fic so it’ll probs take a bit of a backburner to the comic!LauraxYGO crossovers.

Do You Accept Prompts: Not usually only because I have so much anxiety with sharing works. I have no problems writing around a prompt ( and have done it in multiple occasions)  but sharing the end result is quite hard for me.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited To Write: The Laura Kinney and Seto Kaiba story.  I think I hit on how all the dynamics are gonna work and how the character plots might or might not change so I’m already having fun with it. Even if I never write it down and instead daydream a lot about it  bc...Reasons.

I’m still not sure which verse ( between Laura coming in when Seto is still under Gozaburo’s guardianship, or Laura gets hired by Seto to bodyguard Mokuba) I’ll follow first but I’m still very excited.

I’ve got a plot bunny or something in the back of my mind where Jubilee uses her Stubbornness and sway with Logan to make Laura, her, and Logan and Gambit resemble a family and stay together. 

A Boy Meet World/Percy Jackson crossover fic tha may or may not happen. A Boy Meets World fic where i claim an old OT3 and it rewrites certain parts of Girl Meets World.

There’s also an MCUxHeroesOfTomorrow crossover where the kids Tony raised in Earth-55326  land on the MCU world  and basically swarm around him ( and their parents) and Peter and Harley are not jealous okay shut up. that may or may not include comic verse characters. 

It’s mostly fluff and silliness Ngl

I.I have a hard time not taking on too much..if you can’t tell.

Gonna tag @queen-of-carven-stone @alexseanchai  @useless-protagonist  @kohakuhime and @rscoil if they're okay with it of course  >.>

And of course anyone who wants to do it is welcomed to.

[ofstagdreams]

flicker of the heart [3/?]

an it’s pretty late when I’m posting this but i wanted to post it so here ya go. The reader gets some loving and Arthur gets a lil jealous. This part of the story will go on to the next chapter without a time jump this time. Not my favourite but it’s all I can get for where I want the story to go rn. Hope you enjoy! 

pairing arthur morgan x reader

Previous part can be found here  or on AO3

The next few months pass slowly. The gang scales back a little on jobs because Arthur’s state of mind hasn’t been ideal, no matter how much he may insist that he’s fine. It’s obvious that though he is slowly coming back to himself, something has changed, something irreversible and everyone’s still holding their breath and waiting to see if it’s going to be a good or a bad thing.

For your part, you just try and be his friend – the confidant you’ve always been to him and although he can’t quite find the words, you know he’s grateful and that’s enough.

You pass most of your time either helping Annabelle and Bessie or running jobs with the gang. Hosea was increasingly impressed with your shooting skills and it seemed John was becoming a decent shot on his own. Any time spent with Arthur is usually spent in quiet companionship – hunting mostly, even if both your kills are always messy. He never asks for your company, but you always tag along because you’re afraid he’s going to drink himself stupid again and get himself hurt. He never says anything about your presence, so you figured he didn’t mind.

Yet that was the thing with Arthur lately, though he was always a man of few words, he seemed to speak even less these days and you weren’t entirely sure what to make of it. Though you have noticed that he’d spent more and more time scribbling away in that journal of his, so you figure he’s at least processing something of what he is feeling.

It’s mundane almost, well, mundane for a group of outlaws. You almost prefer it, the easy cons with Hosea and the days you fish with John. It’s a peace you associated with home, with the easy days spent at the dinner table between your mother and father, before it had all gone away.

Dutch though, Dutch is becoming restless, tiring of the months you’ve all spent doing casual work. You know him, can tell he misses the high, the scent of danger in the air as you carry out a job and you know that this kind of peace will not last long. You can tell Hosea misses it too, but he is subtler, more under his control but you think that there’s only so much Hosea can let fly under his radar before it becomes a whispered word to Dutch and you knew how it went from there. Your only worry is that you are unsure if Arthur is ready to live yet, it seemed he was still just trying to survive.

You are glad for Annabelle, who seems to read Dutch like the back of her hand and quiet the storms in his mind. Almost a year she had been running with the gang now and she slotted in easily, but you had been unsure at first. She had seemed very Miss High and Mighty, but she had quickly proved you wrong, showing herself to be down to earth and thoughtful – even if she did like to dress in fine clothing. She was Dutch’s polar opposite, but it worked, and you were thankful for it.

Running to town for supplies was another consequence of staying in one place for longer than usual, instead of picking things up as you pass through towns, but now people had to be sent for supplies. It had happened before but was a far less common task that it had been of late. This time around it fell to you and John, which you didn’t mind. You liked John’s company, especially lately as you watched with an odd pride as he comes into his own man, nearly sixteen now, so not yet the man he thinks he is - yet not the boy he once was either.

That’s when you meet him. You drop some supplies as your loading them into the cart and let out a soft curse, glancing around to find that John has disappeared off somewhere and left you with the finishing details as he goes off to find god knows what.

“Let me help you,” his voice is smooth and his hands are warm as he takes the box from your hands. He’s tall and handsome, with tan skin and hazel eyes which causes something in your stomach to flutter in a way you usually associate with Arthur and you’re consumed.

He introduces himself as George Davis, a farmhand who works at the farm just outside of town. His clothes are dirty, but that somehow adds to his appeal – you liked a man who worked, who did what he could to lend a hand.

John comes back and catches you laughing too loudly at something George had said. “We have to go,” he says and you snapped back to reality, hoping you didn’t imagine the disappointed looked in his eye when John had interrupted.

Like a gentleman, George helps you onto the wagon. You didn’t need it, but it felt nice to be given the niceties other women are given which you so frequently miss out on when living with a bunch of outlaws, especially when half of those people still saw you as a kid even if you were nearing your 21st birthday.

“Will I see you again?” He asks, his eyes playful as he watches you grip the reins.

It foolish, Dutch could decide for you all to up and leave at any given moment. You should not commit to anything.

“Definitely,” you answer.

You seem him again and again, eager to go on the supply runs in the weeks to follow. John always accompanies you and you are grateful for it, knowing that if any of the other men found out about your flirtation, George would have a hell of a lot to answer for.

You even sneak out to see him a few times, sharing kisses under the stars and taking strolls around the town. It’s not quite love, for you at least, not yet. But for the first time in your life you feel desired by a man who you desired, it was a powerful sort of feeling that made you feel dizzy and you couldn’t get enough of it. So, while it wasn’t love, you couldn’t help but think that one day it could be.

Another week passes and the gang does end up moving camp – but not so far that there is another town that is closer. You get the wagon ready for another supply run, you probably didn’t even need as much as you were bringing in, but no one seemed to complain, and the cons Hosea was running seemed to keep the income steady enough that you weren’t breaking the budget.

John sits under the shade of the tree as you finish up one or two things, having already done his part by saddling up the horses and putting some boxes in the back. You’re just finishing off checking a list from Bessie when Arthur shows his face, taking a glance at the wagon and a glance at a half-asleep John.

“Why don’t I come with you this time? I’ve hardly been to town yet and John’s so bored of it he’s falling asleep.” He looks at you with a strange look, eyes almost pleading, and you feel a stab of guilt.

While you hadn’t exactly been avoiding him, you hadn’t been spending any time with him either. George had, for lack of better words, messed with your head. Not that he was doing anything wrong, but as you spent more and more time with George you felt guilty about your feelings for Arthur. So you had spent less time with the latter, hoping to sort through your feelings and finally put your love for Arthur to bed.

You thought that you maybe had a handle on it, but as he looked at you with those soft blue eyes, you knew you were lying to yourself.

John glances up at you and you know that he’s willing to fight Arthur to go instead if you wanted him to. You were so glad for the bond you and John shared, it meant a lot to you, to have someone who understood you so well without having to explain too much.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You say and watch as John visibly relaxes back into his previous position. Arthur seems to let out a long breath and climbs up into to the wagon beside you, taking the reigns and guiding the horses onto the road ahead.

As you ride, you notice how Arthur shifts in his seat a little too much and you know him well enough that he wants to say something but just can’t get it out yet. You wait, because you know how pushing him can sometimes lead him to be short and you’d much rather avoid the argument if you can.

“So,” he begins after another few beats, eyes glancing at you from under his hat before flicking back to the road, “you been avoiding me or something? Have I done something idiotic and offended you without realising?”

The guilt rises up in you once more as you realised that while trying to sort through your feelings, you had somehow stopped being a good friend when Arthur still needed support. It weighs heavily on your chest and your skin feels hot as you think about just how shitty you’ve been to him lately. Even when he was with Mary, he had still made time for you.

“What? Of course not, you think I’d let you offend me and not tell you about it within five seconds? You’ve done nothing wrong.” You play it down a little, not wanting him to see just how guilty you felt because then he would know you had been spending less time with him for some reason.

“Well…” he shifts again, hands fiddling ever so slightly with the reigns as he gathers his next thought. “Why you been avoiding me then?”

“See Arthur the thing is –“ you were going to tell him the truth, but he looks at you fully now – not just peering out from his hand – expectant for some sort of answer from you. He looks so beautiful and you notice that he’s acting like his old self and it's been weeks since he’s been like this. Suddenly you can’t tell him, it feels like you’ve wronged him somehow, with your liking for George and the words die in your throat.

“I’m sorry Arthur, I’ve just been stuck in my own head. I’ll try be better.”

He accepts your answer with a small nod and you hate how easily you lied.

You gather the supplies pretty quickly and it goes a lot quicker as you are less likely to goof off with Arthur than you are with John. Arthur is also quite a bit stronger than John so the whole process of loading everything up seems to go a lot more smoothly too.

The ground is soft and muddy beneath you, a consequence of the rain the day before and you try in vain to tap some of the mud of your favourite boots on the wagon wheel. As you glance down, you notice how worn Arthur’s boots are and you softly sigh, shaking your head at him.

“What?” He asks, a soft chuckle escaping your lips as he waits for whatever you’re going to say.

You look down and he follows your gaze but doesn’t seem to catch your meaning before glancing back up at you with a small shrug. “Woman, we’ve been over this before – I ain’t no mind reader. You’re going to have to tell me what you’re thinking.”

You laugh at him, shaking your head once more. “When was the last time you bought new boots? Your toes are about five seconds away from poking through and getting muddy too. Go get yourself a new pair and I’ll guard the stuff while I wait.”

He looks like he’s about to argue, but another glance down at his boots seems to change his mind. “Alright,” he agrees, “but don’t think I’m doing it just because you told me to.”

You laugh at him again and watch as he trudges his way across the street. You were too engrossed in what Arthur was doing that you weren’t paying attention to your surroundings and smacked right into someone’s chest.

That someone happened to be George, who steadied you before glancing down at you with a beaming smile. You hadn’t expected him to be in town, you had planned to see him tomorrow – it’s why you so easily agreed for Arthur to replace John on this trip.

“Hello,” he greets, bending down to place a kiss on your cheek before straightening back up to his full height. He takes a look at the wagon, more neatly packed than usual then looks at you with raised eyebrows, “John finally learn how to place the boxes in without throwing them?”

You shake your head, a smile tugging on your own lips, “you don’t think I can pack a wagon that neatly?”

You realise that you should be finding some way to get rid of him to save you having to explain Arthur. George didn’t know too much about your lifestyle and you didn’t want to scare him off just yet, but his hands felt warm around your waist, yet to be moved from when he steadied you and just this once you wanted to feel some normalcy.

George opens his mouth to answer but something over your shoulder makes him stop, you’re about to turn around and see what it was when you felt a hand on your shoulder tugging you backwards.

You find the newcomer to be Arthur, having returned from the store much sooner than you thought he would. He tugs you out of George’s embrace as well as taking a step forward so that he stands in-between you and George.

“Everything alright here?” His jaw is set and his gaze is trained on George, something almost dangerous in his eyes as he catches the other man glancing over his shoulder to you. It’s strange and you would almost guess that Arthur seems jealous, but that, that just seemed absurd. You had known Arthur for years, had pined for him for longer than you cared to admit – you would know if he had felt something for you. You were sure of it.

“Everything’s fine Arthur, lets just go.” You say, pulling on Arthur’s arm and nudging him towards the wagon. He waits, offering you hand onto the wagon as his glance remains fixed on George, as if daring him to say something or take a step closer.

He gets on the wagon himself in one swift movement, hands gripping the reins like a vice as he prompts the horses to move off. You glance behind you, watching a confused George be left in the dust, panic seizes your chest as you realise that you don’t want this wonderful man to think ill of you.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” You yell back at him and it seems to snap him out of whatever trance he was in as he nods his confirmation.

“Tomorrow.”

Beside you in the seat you feel Arthur tense, nudging the horses to go faster as the wagon wheels out of town.

The sky above becomes grey and murky, looking like there’s going to be more rain. In the distance, there’s a low ripple of thunder. Seemed there was a storm coming.

[maraudersinparadise]

Party Lily

In which Lily is moping, Mary can't take anymore of that, Remus needs to take the girls to a birthday party, and Lily trashes the party to a stranger.

FF.net  AO3

Lily did not want to go to that party.

Not that she doesn’t like parties, as a whole. On the contrary – she’s rather fond of such gatherings, considering how much fun she always has.

Mary likes parties, too. Mostly when Lily goes to, because Mary says Lily can turn even the lamest parties on memorable moments, like on Edgar Bones’s birthday all those years ago, when everybody tried to leave because no one was enjoying it and out of nowhere Lily created a cards game that got everybody so involved that the first person left only 4 in the morning (the fact that the loser had to drink enormous amounts of alcohol and divulge some secret might have helped, but Mary always seemed to forget these little things).

That particular Friday, however, she just didn’t want to leave the comfort of her bed and interact with the outside world. Such behaviours tend to happen when one has just lost their childhood best friend one week prior.

“Mary, I told you I’m not going to some bloody bar!” She says as she hears a knock on her door.

“Good thing I wasn’t inviting you to a bar, then,” a familiar voice says, and she hears the smile on his voice.

“Oh. Come on in, then, Rem.”

She had met Remus Lupin in a book club when they were both 17, and coincidently, they started attending the same university, which contributed for their stronger friendship.

“Everything alright?” He asks, hands on his pockets, leaning against her door frame after closing it. “Haven’t heard much of you since last week.”

“I…” Lily hesitates, sitting on her bed.

“You don’t need to lie to me,” he reminds her. She knows that, but the instinct to not share this is immediate, “and you also don’t need to tell me what’s going on. Just wondered if something happened.”

Lily sighs.

“Well, d’you remember Sev?”

“Hm, weird fella, dark hair, hook nose, seemed to hate me?” Remus guesses.

“Yeah, that one.”

“What about him? You guys are super close, right?”

Lily sighs again. Then she tells Remus how they hadn’t been that close for a while now, mostly because Sev had found other friends on college. Lily would have literally zero problems with that – she wasn’t immature enough to think she would be Sev’s only friend forever – if not for the fact that those friends usually sputtered some rather prejudiced things.

Not directed at any group, no. It was more directed to a lot of people – gays, black people, immigrants and, more recently, women.

On the few occasions Lily had bumped into these friends of Sev’s, she’d stood up to her believes (“really, Timmy? You’re literally using a 2-thousand-year-old book to justify your bullshit?”). Severus hadn’t liked it and asked her to refrain from such comments. Lily raised her eyebrows and let go. Maybe he was having a hard time to adjust on a new college, considering both of them had started just a year before and Sev was really introspective.

As Severus spent more time with his Trash Troup (Lily always loved a good alliteration), she felt a wall building between them. It was hard to put on words, and it was even harder to get Severus to listen – he didn’t get why she just couldn’t hang out with them and not turn everything into a “politically correct” debate.

She didn’t get how he could stand listening to such gibberish for so long.

Then last week she did.

They had agreed to meet on a pub – sans the Trash Troup – have a beer and talk like they did before. Severus was running really late, and she started to worry. As she was about to call him, Severus entered the pub, dragging along Mulciber and Avery – both of them who previously had said hateful things about women in general.

She managed to not roll her eyes, but couldn’t quite smile the way she used to when they met at the booth she had sat.

“I thought it would be just the two of us?” She asked quietly.

“Sorry to intrude in your little date thing,” Avery interrupted rudely, “but imagine how bad it would look to him to be seen on a pub with you?”

“And just what is that supposed to mean?” Lily snapped.

“Well, what kind of respectable woman goes to a pub anyway?” Mulciber questioned.

“The one who can do whatever she wants.” Lily replied instantly. She glanced at Severus, as if to say, ‘see what I mean about them?’, and found a speculative look about him.

“Well, these sorts of girls aren’t respectable, Evans,” Avery said, “you should know that by now. Oh, I forgot you were a pain on the arse with your feminist views.”

“Well, you’re free to leave as you please, Avery. You weren’t invited at all.”

“Lost cause, Snape. We should really leave. This place is full of sluts,” Mulciber said with disgust.

“Sluts?” Lily asked, fists clenched.

“Well, yeah, Lily,” Severus talks for the first time, “look at their short skirts. They’re begging to be raped.”

Lily gaped and then glared at him. For the first time she heard him say things like that. At once, she got up and gestured at herself.

“Then what am I, Severus?”

His eyes widened as he saw Lily’s wearing a short skirt herself, then he glared at her.

“A slut, just like them.”

That was the last time Lily spoke to Severus. He tried apologising – her mobile was full of messages from him, but she would not return to that toxicity (or at least she told herself she wouldn’t).

Remus only raises his eyebrows as Lily talks. By the end, he’s sitting on the chair in front of her, brow furrowed.

“I’m sorry, Lily,” Remus says, and just then Mary enters the room.

“Oh, came to drag her along too, did you?” Mary asks Remus.

“Drag me along to where?” Lily asks in an alarmed voice. Mary rolls her eyes.

“He came over to invite us to a party, Lily! At a fancy house, even! Let’s pretty ourselves up for the occasion, eh?”

“You know I’m not on the mood, Mary,” Lily replies, laying back down on her bed.

“She’s been like this for a week now,” Mary tells Remus, ignoring Lily’s presence on Lily’s own bedroom, “because of that scumbag Snape. I’ve tried it all. Maybe you’ll be luckier?”

Lily hears the door snapping shut, and knows Mary left her to Remus’s device, which Lily thinks to be rather unfair, considering she can’t say no to Remus.

Remus was never the healthiest of people, ever since he was little kid. For this, he wasn’t really fit to play with the other kids, so he stayed inside and read. This led into him joining a book club when he was seventeen-years-old – in which he met Lily.

He is smart and funny; Lily loved to sit by his side so she could listen to his quiet and sarcastic comments during the club. Once she told him exactly that, and he laughed, saying he’d try to come up with new material every day.

Since then, they became very good friends, even after the book club had be shut down. Sometimes Lily noticed that Remus wasn’t looking all too good, so she sent him a pack of his favourite tea and a book recommendation.

Remus tried to make it up to her, but she adamantly refused.

She always insisted on taking Remus out, making him have fun and not mope and hide. She took him to parties and bars (whenever those friends of his allowed, that is).

And now Remus – bless him, curse him – seems to be trying to do the same with her.

“It’s a birthday party. I’m supposed to bring friends,” he explains, and Lily groans, hiding her face, “so I thought I should bring the friend who always drags me to such events.”

The brilliance of Remus is that he can make someone feel obliged to do something with the softest of words. With a single sentence he made Lily feel guilty for dragging him to places he wasn’t really into going, and to deny the same favour to him.

“You, Remus Lupin,” Lily says, taking the blanket off her face and glaring at the now grinning boy, “are a danger with your words. But you know that already. Ok, I’ll go to this bloody party, but be warned: I’m not gonna have fun, I don’t want to go, and I’ll hate every second I’m there.”

Despite such harsh promises, Lily dresses like she usually does. Mary did mention something about it being fancy.

“Whose party is this anyway?” She asks as she and Mary enter Remus’s sedan.

“One of my mates’ mother,” Remus replies, starting the car, “I’ve been told by her that if I don’t bring you I won’t be allowed to stay.”

“How does your friend’s mother know me anyway?” Lily asks, and Remus grins in reply.

“Well, Mrs. Euphemia Potter follows me on Instagram, and she saw that story I posted last month.”

“Oh. So now she thinks we’re dating?”

“At first. I’ve explained that you’re just a friend.” Remus clarifies and shrugs. “She still said I had to bring you, as you are, her words not mine, ‘incredibly gorgeous’ and also ‘seems to be a very nice and polite girl’. She wants good influence on my mates.” He finishes. Mary snorts and Lily furrows her brow.

“Well, you are an excellent influence on people, Rem.” Lily says. And it’s the most absolute truth: Remus made people feel like they should be better to other people.

“And Lily’s definitively not that much of a good influence, let’s be honest here,” Mary adds. Remus laughs, but Lily rolls her eyes.

“I was very good to you, MacDonald.”

“Eh, just a bit. Couldn’t get worse, could I?”

Before Lily replies that, actually, it could, Remus interrupts with his kind smile again, “anyway, it’s her 70th birthday, so my mate decided to throw her a huge party by himself.”

“Wait, it’s her 70th birthday? And you let me leave dressing like this?!” Lily squeaks, looking at her simple dress and heels.

“Don’t worry, Prongs said it wouldn’t be like, suit and all that. Look at me.”

To be fair, Remus wears simple trousers and a buttons-down shirt with a tie.

“You look great, Lil,” Mary pipes in.

“So how old is your friend anyway? If his mum is turning 70.” Lily asks curiously, lowering the sun blocker to get access to the mirror and check her make-up.

“He’s a couple months younger than you, actually,” Remus explains, “he was sort of a miracle, because she got pregnant of him in a very old age. It’s why he’s such a spoilt brat, but we just ignore that usually.”

As promised, the house Remus parks in front of screams of fanciness, and Lily once again wonders if she’ll be underdressed. Mary assures her once again that she looks just fine, and Remus leads them both to the backyard, where there are some tables scattered around, a mini bar near a pool, and what looks like an improvised dance floor.

Looking up as if asking help from above, Lily follows Remus and Mary, choosing to sit on a swing while Remus goes for some drinks and Mary stands with her.

Lily feels her phone vibrating and sighs as she looks at the screen and sees it’s a message from Severus.

“Oh, hell no, Lily Evans!” Mary exclaims, trying to take her phone away. “You’re not moping around about because of that idiotic arse!”

“I’m not moping around, Mary! I’m just understandably sad about losing my oldest friend.” Lily replies. Mary sighs.

“Well, of course I understand you’re sad about it, but… it’s like this. When you remember the good times, remember why you told him to fuck off. Don’t get hung up on him, Lil. He’s a bit of a scumbag-”

“Just a bit?” Lily pipes in.

“- a lot more than a bit, but I was trying to be a sensitive here, and you’re better off without him.” Mary says. “What’s he even saying anyway?”

“Says he didn’t mean to call me a slut. That we should talk because he misses me. To meet up at his place, sans Trash Troup for real this time.” Mary rolls her eyes. She’s heard that before.

“Well, I think you should block him on everything.”

Lily sighs and nods.

“Maybe you’re right.”

Mary smiles a bit and goes after Remus and the drinks, but Lily knows that deep down Mary wants to give her some time.

Her petit friend is right; Lily should block Severus from her life, as a whole. She had given a free pass to him for far too long. With another sigh, Lily opens her Instagram and deletes the photos she had with Severus, and blocks him. Then on Facebook, Twitter and finally on WhatsApp, where he had been the worst.

“Creep or ex?”

Lily swirls the swing 180 degrees, searching for the source of the voice – it’s a tall man with jet black and messed hair, wearing a pair of round glasses.

“I beg your pardon?” She asks. The man smirks.

“Well, it’s just I came over because you seem rather lonely, and I couldn’t help but notice you just blocked this dude on a million different social media, so…” Lily raises an eyebrow at the man, trying to ignore the glint of fun that shines on his eyes.

“So this means you were looking at what I was doing over my phone?” She completes, a tone of accusation clear on her voice. Instead of looking ashamed, the man simply grins. “Have you ever heard of something called privacy?”

“I’m truly sorry, it’s just it’s a bit odd to see a pretty girl such as yourself sitting so far away from this marvellous party, on her phone, on Facebook even, so I got a little curious.”

“I could be engaging on a tirade against bigotry,” Lily suggests, shrugging. The man smirks again.

“You could, but you weren’t. Which makes me return to my question.”

“Hm, I’m sorry, but I feel like you are being the creep after all,” she says.

It’s kind of funny because she reckons she knows him from somewhere. His face is familiar, but she can’t quite put it together – she’s terrible with names and faces.

“Touché,” he admits, grinning. He points to the swing besides Lily, “can I sit here? I feel like I should prove I’m not a creep at all, just fell prey to the great curiosity that sometimes takes upon even the best of people.”

Lily shrugs. To be honest, she doesn’t want company, but feels it could be rude to ask him to leave. So he sits on the swing, using the chain as a support for his head.

“Enjoying the party?” He asks.

“Not much,” she replies simply, looking down at her phone and wondering if there’s anything else she could do to get away from Sev.

“Why’s that?” He asks, and Lily fails to see his raised eyebrows because she’s still staring at her phone.

“Well, for starters, what sort of party is this anyway?”

“It’s a birthday party!”

“How would one know?” She says, looking at him. He’s got a puzzled face about him she finds a bit endearing. “I mean, where’re the balloons? The cake? The ‘happy birthday’ somewhere on this party?”

“Maybe the cake’s inside waiting for the right time,” he suggests, fixing his glasses that had gone askew. Really endearing.

“See, that’s just no right. Birthday cakes were meant to be displayed, not hidden. Someone picks a birthday cake thinking how it’s going to look on the party, you know?”

“Not always. D’you know how expensive cakes can be nowadays?” He hits back.

“Didn’t this bloke throw the party to his mother? Look at this house. Money certainly isn’t an issue on this family, right? So why be cheap on his mother’s 70th birthday party? From what I hear he must be loved oh so dearly, so why not retribute kindly?”

This wins her a sweet smile from him, so sweet that she’s got to hold herself as to not smile back.

“Okay, point taken. What were the other flaws?”

“Well, balloons, obviously,” she states matter-of-factly, “how can this be a birthday party without a single balloon? I repeat, how would one know it’s a birthday, huh?”

“Maybe if the read the invitation they’d know,” he replies cheekily, causing Lily to roll her eyes.

“That’s so not the point. It’s a birthday! You’ve got to show it’s a birthday!” Lily exclaims, looking at him.

So, so fit.

“Maybe this lad wanted to do a fancy party, considering it’s his mother’s 70th.”

“Huh, I hear you, but I must disagree,” she tuts, causing him to bark a laugh, “if he wanted it to be fancy so much, what’s with this semi-formal-wear thing? I mean, it took me about 30 minutes to get dressed. I came because my mate told me this lad’s mum wouldn’t allow him in if I didn’t come, I was spiralling at home because of my creep-slash-ex, and I still managed to get dressed in 30 minutes. Were this a really fancy party, I’d be so underdressed I’d crawl home crying out of shame.”

“I’d say you look brilliant anyway, were this a really fancy party,” the man replies smoothly. Lily narrows her eyes.

“I think you’re trying to get yourself inside my metaphorical pants, Mr. Creep.”

“I’d rather die than admit to such a thing,” he says, laying his hand on his chest as a promise sign.

“Don’t waste your time, tho,” she says, “as a not so good party is meant to be, I have yet to have a drink, so I won’t be drunk anytime soon.”

“One, you being sober only works on my favour – were I actually trying to get into your pants – as I’d never try anything on a drunk girl,” he says, raising his eyebrow, “and two, you’re kind of isolated, how do you expect the waiter to bring you a drink if you’re away from the party?”

“The host should advise his waiters to bring drinks even to the isolated girls – you and I both know those are the kind who need to drink the most, eh?”

The man laughs at her attempt of a joke, and Lily smiles back. He’s really handsome, and a bit charming – that damn dimple she’s seeing as he laughs could murder her – so she doesn’t mind his presence so much. In fact, she’s actually kept her phone away as she drags the party.

“Which brings us back to: creep or ex?” He asks again, and this time she laughs.

Before she could answer, a glass of champagne is stretch at her face, and she looks up to see Remus holding drinks.

“Sorry for the delay. Had to introduce Mary to someone.” Remus says, smiling apologetically. “I didn’t mean to abandon you at all,” he says, and Lily smiles.

“It’s okay,” she assures him, “I’m not alone. I’ve been telling…” she looks at the man, who’s now smirking.

“James Potter.”

“… James Potter how this par-” she stops dead.

Oh no.

She looks at James Potter, who’s clearly having a laugh at her at the moment, and feels her face and neck blushing.

Because of course she knows him. He’s Remus’s mate, James Potter. She knows his face because he’s often on Remus’s Instagram, either on selfies with their other two friends (damn her if she could remember their names now) or when James steals Remus’s phone.

“So you’ve met James, then?” Remus asks, and Lily puts her face between her hands as James laughs more. “I feel like I’m missing something.”

“Evans and I were just having a chat about how this party sucks.”

“I never said it sucked!” She says, returning the swing to its original position so she’s not facing the boys.

“You clearly stated you weren’t having fun,” James says, and she can hear his smile on his voice.

Shit, shit, shit.

“It’s a bit of both,” she says suddenly, “he was an old friend of mine who’s turned onto bigotry and creepy things. So we had a fallout and I was blocking him because he’s been trying to get to me, and I’m tired of this.”

She slowly turns back to James, and he’s got his eyebrows furrowed, not sporting a smile for what feels like the first time of the night.

“I told you I shouldn’t leave my flat,” Lily states at Remus, who widens his eyes in surprise, and then she turns to James again, “I’m really sorry, I-”

The remainder of her apology was cut by a voice approaching them.

“James Potter, you spoilt little brat, where’s my cake?”

They all turn to see a beautiful, older woman walking towards them, wearing a fancy pink dress.

“Hello, mother,” he replies drily.

“Yes, yes, hello. Where’s my cake?” Euphemia (Lily remembers the name because Remus said it earlier) turns to the other two, and Lily practically jumps up from the swing. “Oh, Remus! So nice to see you!” She says, hugging Remus, who returns with a wide smile on her face. Euphemia then turns to Lily, who doesn’t know what to do and is sure her face is still all red. “And this must be your friend, Lily, isn’t it? So very nice to finally meet you!” Euphemia hugs Lily too, who, a bit startled, returns the hug the best she can. “See, James, she’s really as pretty in person as she is on Remus’s pictures. Now, where’s my cake?”

Lily looks at James (who exclaimed an indignant “mom!”) raising an eyebrow, but he ignores her.

“The cake’s on the kitchen,” he mumbles. Euphemia makes a face, and Lily has to hold herself not to laugh.

“On the kitchen? This is a birthday party! The cake must be seen!” Euphemia states. James rolls his eyes and sighs.

“Sorry, ma. Want me to get it?”

“No, I want you to be the host and show our lovely Lily our home. Remus can help me, can’t you, dear?”

Remus nods that he absolutely can help with the cake, and follows Euphemia with a wink thrown at James and Lily.

“So how come your mother knows my name?” Lily asks, sitting back down on the swing, looking directly at James (of course it was James. She knew Remus had one really handsome friend).

“Remus talks about you.” He replies, too blasé for Lily to believe. It’s her turn to smirk.

“And what was all that about me being as pretty in person?” She inquires, taking pleasure in seeing him squirm.

“Well, I might have mentioned to Remus that I find you to be really pretty, and I might’ve threatened him to death unless he brought you today. Only suppositions, of course.”

“Hm, suppositions, right?” Lily repeats, grinning. James looks at her and smiles back.

“She’s wrong anyway,” he continues, and looks over Lily again.

“Who’s wrong?” Lily asks.

“My mother. You look even prettier in person.”

Lily laughs at the line (a very good one, indeed), but she cannot hide her blush.

“So you are trying to get into my pants!” She says. James shakes his head with a laugh.

“Not tonight, no. You don’t seem to be the type who share their bed with creeps,” he states, and Lily smiles.

“Not on first meetings, no.”

“See, I’m not completely wrong.”

“And I don’t really share my bed with a complete stranger who doesn’t even introduce himself.”

James grins, gets up, takes a few steps back to the party, then walks towards her, eyes sparkling, the messiest of hairs and the most brilliant smile he’s shared this night.

Oh no, Lily thinks again, because she knows that the knots on her stomach are a direct reaction to the spoilt little brat.

“Hello, nice to meet you!” He says, offering her his hand. She grins back. “My name is James Potter, and I really suck at throwing parties to my mother.”

She shakes his hand, and doesn’t mind the least when he seats again on the swing besides her and doesn’t let go of her hand, intertwining their fingers instead.

“Nice to meet you, James Potter. I’m Lily Evans, and I’m great at fixing ruined parties. Where’s the nearest market? I think we need some balloons in here.”

[vsionvry]

To My Sisters: Photographer Liv Latricia Habel On Her Resilient Self-Portrait Series ‘Diasporan Daughters’

Danish American photographer Liv Latricia Habel is the creator of the reflective visual diary ‘Diasporan Daughters’. It’s a moving series of self-portraits that explore her take on what it means to be a mixed Black woman, and what it is to be seen as a mixed Black woman in Denmark. Raised in Germany by her mum and currently living in Copenhagen, Liv’s series comments on her personal experiences of being one of the few brown faces in her community growing up. She also dives into her connections with America and her different relationships with religion. This interesting combination of personal lived experiences informs not only the style of her photographs but also the meanings behind them. Liv explores societal expectations, her personal views, representation and resilience through her images. I got the pleasure to sit down with her (over Zoom) and talk all things self-love, fighting spirit, sisterhood, alter egos, and the craziness that is code-switching.

RC: Hey Liv. how are you doing?

LH: I’m doing good, I’ve just moved to a new apartment.

RC: That sounds fun; you get to decorate a new space. Do you do all that feng shui stuff?

LH: I don’t really know anything about that [laughs]

RC: Neither do I! You just put what feels right wherever.

LH: Right, exactly. How are you?

RC: I’m doing good too, tired but good! I’m happy I got to hop on this call with you though, it’s a cool change of pace.

RC: So do you study film or photography or something else creative?

LH: Yeah, I study at Copenhagen Film and Photography School. It's a one year compact course and it’s ending this December. I also studied Visual Communications a few years ago.

RC: Ooh, that’s a good combo, they work together well.

LH: Right now I’m using my skills, but it's not really what I want to work with.

RC: What do you want to work with?

LH: Photography!

RC: [laughs] I like that.

LH: I like working with photography, but it’s not my main income.

RC: Sometimes you need a plan B to help your plan A.

LH: Yeah.

RC: So is the book Diasporan Daughters a project for school or a personal project?

LH: This is a personal project, my evaluation project for school is about young female and Black artists, which I’ve been photographing.

RC: That’s super relevant nowadays, it’s also nice to do a little showcasing because all this talent is there, but not a lot of people know about it.

LH: Yeah, exactly.

RC: I was wondering what made you come up with this project?

LH: [laughs] Okay the interview is starting!

I came up with it because of my own story. My mum is Danish and my dad’s Black American. I grew up in Germany with my mum who’s white and with my white family. My school and community were totally white, so I spent my childhood and adolescent life learning to look like everyone else. I couldn’t mirror myself in anyone around me, neither in my family nor my friends till I was 19 and moved to Copenhagen and found my own community and friends.

RC: Oh wow!

LH: I was 20 when I had my first Black friend and started having contact with my family in the US, so it wasn’t that many years ago. I think of it as being a chameleon sometimes since I have so many identities that frame who I am today. I guess everyone has different identities and we can code-switch when we talk and adapt. Which is just superhuman! But for me, as a mixed Black woman, it's even crazier because of the way I grew up: I have so many identities. There are the ones that I’ve been living with, but also the identities society has given to me – which are a reflection of structural racism too. So you know, when I’m walking down the street in a specific neighborhood in Copenhagen, where there’s a lot of sex workers, and I’ve dressed up, and look good: men directly ask me how much I am.

RC: Really?!

LH: Or if it’s another situation where I might be confused for someone else, only because of my skin color.

RC: I definitely felt that through the book because there were a lot of photographs of you in different settings.

LH: Some of the portraits, I can definitely see myself in, I mean one of them is my alter ego.

RC: Ah which one is that one?!

LH: The one where I’m sitting with the pink bandana.

RC: Boss lady?!

LH: Yeah, its me when I’m the best me [laughs]

RC: That’s really cool, cause it's not only different identities you’re exploring but different versions of yourself as well.

LH: Exactly. It's different versions of myself, that’s what I mean by identities actually. Some of the images aren’t me, but what society thinks of me. Like my expereinces of being mistaken as a sex worker or cleaning lady. They’re stigmatized stereotypes of a Black woman in white society.

“There are the ones that I’ve been living with, but also the identities society has given to me..”

RC: I like that! It’s an ongoing story, you can add more as you go. 

RC: Why did you decide to title your series Diasporan Daughters?

LH: Hmm, being part of the Black diaspora means everything in terms of my looks to me and society. It is also such a big part of who I am, and the title refers to all the women and girls who are part of the Black diaspora. That obviously includes the African diaspora, but for me, being part of the Black diaspora means more since my African roots are pretty far away [laughs].

RC: It felt like a love letter where you said ‘I’m writing this for me, but also for you’. That’s a sweet idea I think.

LH: It is! In the beginning of the book it says “For my Sisters”.

LH: Each one of us is unique with our individual experiences, but we have a lot  in common. Especially when you’re living in the diaspora. I guess it's a different experience to be a Ghanian woman living in Accra for example, where you were born and grew up surrounded by a lot of other Black women. I imagine that experience differs to mine:  living as a Black woman in a white dominated society. So the book is mainly for my sisters in the diaspora.

RC: I also saw one of your images was of you standing beside the Queen Mary statue in Copenhagen. She’s a very powerful woman, why did you feel it was important to take that photo?

LH: I wanted to add this archetype of a fighting personality. And for me, this picture has connections to the Black Panther movement. At the same time, this image also connects to the Black Lives Matter movement that has been expanding worldwide in 2020 after Breonna Taylor and George Floyd's murder. For me, the only public symbol fighting the Black struggle that exists here in Denmark, is the Queen Mary statue. She means so much because she led the labour riots of former slaves and plantation workers in the then Danish colonised West Indies. So, it’s all connected for me: fighting for your liberty as a Black person since slavery till today. 

RC: She’s also powerful because of the scale. The statue is a lot bigger than many others in Copenhagen, so when you get there, you have to look up. I was almost thinking, is this really here? It is one of the only public images of a Black woman – there should be more!

LH: Definitely. For me, this image is not the strongest stylistically in the book, but its content definitely says a lot more than a lot of the other pictures because it has so much more depth.

RC: You’ve spoken about people of color’s experiences, not only in Denmark, but around the world too. There was one photo where you were wearing a red scarf, I was wondering if that had anything to do with the Burqa Ban in Denmark, or if there was any connection with that?

LH: That’s a good question. No, it doesn’t actually. My dad’s family is Muslim, so I got the whole outfit from my aunt. I grew up pretty nonreligious; I only went to church on Christmas, and I had a Confirmation because of the presents and because everyone else in my class had one – so that’s been my relationship with religion. Being in Philly and celebrating Eid made me experience a different religion that’s part of me. I’ll probably never get into Islam because I disagree with parts that I think can be problematic, as a lot of other religions around the world can be. As a Black woman wearing a sign of God means so much, because if you’re walking around in the streets as a brown or Black woman wearing a hijab, you’re looked at way more than if you’re not wearing a scarf. I’ve only worn a hijab once for Eid with my family, but when I’m wearing a scarf just for a bad hair day, I can get looked at differently.

RC: Yeah, I guess you can pick it up.

LH: Yes exactly, the photo comments on that, and also for the little part of me that’s Muslim too.

RC: That’s really nice, that you recognize these different dimensions and layers to yourself. It’s not just ‘I didn’t grow up with this, so I’m going to ignore it’, I think that’s quite a powerful photo in your collection.

LH: Thank you, there's also just so much stigma connected to being a Muslim woman and wearing a headscarf, niqab or burqa I find, especially here in Denmark, politically, it’s often connected to Islamophobia.

RC: The other thing I wanted to ask about was the types of text you include in your book. You have poetry from Maya Angelou and lyrics from Cardi B’s and Megan Thee Stallion’s song WAP.

LH: I’ve known the poem from Maya Angelou for some years, and I think it’s a very beautiful poem. I actually have to look up when it was written – it was published around 25 years ago. But it expresses how important it is to have self-worth, self-esteem, show who you are, and to be proud of who you are and every bit of yourself. That’s why I chose it, and WAP, I just think it’s a hilarious song, and I think since Lil’ Kim, Missy Elliott and other female pioneers in Hip Hop have been rapping about femininity, being in control of their own sexuality, and about sex in general. WAP is just the biggest 2020 example of how women should express that part of themselves. It’s a very extroverted song, whereas the Phenomenal Women poem is very ‘You have to stand up for yourself, but you don’t have to shout it out’. WAP, on the other hand, is ‘You shout it out!’- [laughs].

RC: I think that’s pretty interesting because they both talk about the strength and resilience of a woman just in very different ways.

LH: I also added an extract from the report of the African American Policy Forum. It is a list of all the African American women who have been killed by police brutality. And that’s a list of 48 women who have been murdered or died in detention because of the color of their skin. This is only the official list you know –

RC: Somethings aren’t documented…

LH: Yeah, exactly! Where have you actually seen the book?

RC: I saw a version of it online! So I did some stalking [laughs].

LH: Ahh okay, well done! I’ve actually changed a bit of the layout of those names from the online version. I’ve put the names of the women who have died in the same year in the same paragraph. Since 2011, there's been so many murders. The rate has been increasing, but I find that we don’t talk about it as much as the Black men being murdered in the US. 

RC: Is that why you felt it was important to showcase it in your book?

LH: Yes, it's definitely a different rate when we talk about the US. In my experience, we talk a lot about men, and how they are targeted more in terms of police brutality. But after George Floyd, there weren’t that many people talking about Breonna Taylor in my circles, which happened three months before. Even my mum’s friend was like ‘Who’s Breonna Taylor?' and I was like ‘Yoo, educate yourself!’ So that’s why I added them. Also, I’m a woman myself!

RC: You gotta work in your own interest –

LH: Exactly! I can't relate to the men, but I can represent us.

RC: It’s a solidarity moment. What do you hope people take away from your book?

LH: So I hope that everyone who sees and reads it can get something positive, meaningful, and forceful out of it, which they can translate into something that drives them. Secondly, when I’m a bigger photographer and if..

no, when the book gets -

RC: Yes! WHEN! You have to manifest!

LH: [laughs] Yes, when the book is out there on bookshelves, I hope I can also be a representative Black face for young mixed Black kids and girls. Now I’m also saying mixed because I’m that myself, but it'd just be good to get more representation out there. My biggest dream as a child was just to see someone who looks like me in this Western world.

RC: Do you think that would have helped you when you were younger in Germany?

LH: For sure! That said, I’m also extremely privileged because I’m light skinned. Knowing that, It’s very much like standing in between two worlds especially when I’ve only grown up with one side. I’m always thinking I’m not white enough or not Black enough and trying to find an in-between. So with the book, I  wanted to acknowledge that you can be as many different parts of yourself as you want to be

RC: You don’t have to choose.

LH: Exactly, you don’t need to choose!

[montrealimprov]

Meet Your Makers: Indie Night’s Alex Brown and Saima Ahmed

Interview by Isobel Cully

Meet the legends that make Indie Night happen EVERY WEEK, Alex Brown and Saima Ahmed. 

You know Alex as an improviser, sketch comedian and all around funny person (Lil Strawberry Bitch, Fancy at The Haunt, Camp Wanapoke, etc, etc, etc). You know Saima as the girl behind the camera, taking sick pics of your favourite performers and making you jealous on Instagram. You know both of them as Montreal Improv’s best dressed duo. You can go see them host Indie Night every Saturday night at 9:30 PM, in Theatre B.

  1.    Would you like to be famous? In what way?

AB: Yes, I would like to be a famous podcaster and/or filmmaker/performer. I pretty much have the same career ambitions now as I did when I was 6 years old. Except for the podcasting part, if you asked me what podcasting was when I was 6 I would have probably explained it as some kind of net you cast to catch...pods? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SA: Tbh, I don’t think so! It seems so competitive! I’m more a “behind the scenes” but very much in control gal. I prefer to be recognized and appreciated for my work and connect with people that way. In other words, I still want to dress up and go to the Oscars but as a producer rather than an actor.

2.   If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

AB: Mind for sure. I plan on having a tight bod when I’m 90 and I need my mind to keep up.

SA: Hm tough call. I’m going to agree with Al, an active mind means an active body!

3.   Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

AB: My dearly departed yellow lab Winnie and we would share a spaghetti dinner with a side of corn on the cob because those were her faves.

SA: Michelle Obama! To talk about how we can help empower women to run the world over some fish tacos.

4.   If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

AB: The ability to know which ability or quality I would like to gain. So I guess decision making and resolve?

SA: The ability to help create peaceful resolutions between 2 parties. Imagine how useful that would be in 2018!

5.   Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

AB: I thought this said ‘secret lunch’ at first so I’m assuming it’s going to have something to do with my not being able to read instructions properly and things going horribly awry. Conversely if it turned out to be lunch related I wouldn’t be mad.

SA: Haha, I’m a speed reader and I read secret lunch too! Agree 100% with Al on this.

6.   When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

AB: I wish I had a better answer for this than ‘in an improv show’, but I will have to admit that I serenaded a group of paying audience members this past Friday night with a rousing rendition of ‘I Wanna Be the First Female CEO’ at Friday Night’s Main Event - Fridays at 8:30pm at Montreal Improv ;)

SA: I have been singing “The Kids Are Alright” by Chloe x Halle to myself for a few weeks now. I’m a horrible singer so I avoid singing in public at all cost.

GROUP QUESTIONS

8. Make three true “we” statements. 

We both love thrift shopping

We both love a good time

Against our better judgment, we both are close personal friends with Seth Galina

9. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how she might handle it.

AB: What can I do to stay focused and/or motivated at my day job?

SA: Before you start, make a list of things you need to do. I find it surprisingly satisfying (even motivating) to cross things off my list. Also take breaks, I find it helps me focus if I know that afterwards I can chill.

AB: I am MC’ing a friend’s backyard wedding this summer, what should I wear?

SA: For the MC, I would say lean towards a bit more of a classic silhouette and add some Alex Brown touches via accessories to keep it hip. I’m a fan of a unique dress or a chic jumpsuit.

SA: I know for a fact that you are a morning person. I have trouble waking up really early, any tips?

AB: Unfortunately there’s no real easy hack for this, I think you’re either a morning person or you’re not. That said I’m sure you could cultivate habits over time to get better at it. I drink a really big glass of water as soon as I wake up and then I go to the gym or try to do a little bit of exercise at home at least. Giving yourself some time for you is super important. My motto for 2018 and beyond is ‘self care, don’t care’!

SA: I’m going to be moving soon but before that, I want to get rid of shit I don’t need. What’s the best method to declutter?

AB: Honestly since I’m a basic binch I pray to the goddess of tidiness, Marie Kondo. Her book actually taught me so much about getting rid of stuff. I can confidently say that the only clothes I own now are ones that ‘spark joy’. You can borrow my copy! Jk I don’t have it anymore, I gave it away.

SHOW QUESTIONS

10. Describe your show, Indie Night.

Indie Night is a weekly improv show that showcases performers of various experience levels from all over the city! We have a bit of everything from solo improv, class fields trips, current and past house teams and some pretty cool out of town acts. We’ve even had some musical acts! Indie Night takes place every Saturday night at 9:30pm and the last Saturday of the month is *Ladies Night*, featuring all female/female-identifying performers.

10. What excites you the most about your show?

We love that we have this amazing platform and get to provide the opportunity to new acts to perform. We are often the origin story show for some troupes that go onto create some pretty funny things. For some players Indie Night is even the very first time they’ve ever performed in front of an audience, which is very exciting!

The show isn’t just for newbies, we have all sorts of acts featuring varying levels of players. The fun thing about Indie Night is that you can see more experienced players perform with newer players and you never know what you’re gonna get on any given Saturday!

11. In 5 words, why should people come to Indie Night?

It is a good time!

FINAL QUESTIONS

12. Where can people find you (twitter, instagram, snapchat, kik, omegle, myspace, etc.)?

SA: You can find Indie Night at Montreal Improv on Facebook. We also have a hashtag across all social media #indienightmtl . You can find me on Instagram @steezsister and Twitter @_SaimaAhmed. You can also find us both Saturday Nights at 9:30 at Indie Night! Did you like that subtle plug?

AB: I’m on Instagram at @djbabybrown but I haven’t posted since October 2017 and I mostly only follow plants and Simpsons merch accounts. :) Seth Galina is @sethgalina on Instagram and Twitter.

13. Is there anything you want the Montreal Improv community to know (about you or in general)?

SA: I think this goes for both of us, we’re always here! Come say hi and talk to us, we don’t bite. Or so we haven’t been told otherwise yet.

AB: I will bite you if you ask nicely. :)

14. Do you want to plug anything else?

INDIE NIGHT. INDIE NIGHT. INDIE NIGHT.

Alex’s sketch comedy troupe, Lil Strawberry Bitch, will be performing at Sketch Republic on Thursday, April 19 at 8:30pm at MIT and then at the Montreal Sketchfest on May 10th at 8pm at Theatre Sainte-Catherine.

[upslapmeal]

Twice Upon a Time

Right so I’m going to start off with a lot of Doctor-y stuff before I get to my usual yelling about the episode. Also surprise surprise it got a lil bit long so the yelling will be under a cut

Here’s a sentence I never thought I’d say: I’m glad Moffat was given one extra last episode to do. Why? Bombastic Moffat really isn’t my thing. At all. And so The Doctor Falls was....fine? But I’m glad it wasn’t Twelve’s swansong. Moffat does held-back a lot better, at least to me. And so I’m glad we got this quieter ep, Twelve dealing with his future while being presented with his past, and then dealing with the Captain and Testimony. There wasn’t much to it but I much preferred it that way. I also really liked that it wasn’t an Evil Villain™, I think Twelve was disappointed that he couldn’t keep the distraction up, putting off dealing with his future (#relatable) and I love how we see at the end Twelve makes a change to help save one extra person. It’s what I would expect from the Doctor but it does show how far he’s come since s8. He’s openly kinder and softer and he’d not keeping up a facade any more. This change was pretty much established by s9 but it was still nice to see, especially with the direct connection to Into the Dalek we got this episode.

Now since we’re talking about the Doctor, I have to talk about One, one of my favourite Doctors who I truly adore. And I’m going to try not to make this about...........The Problem. I’ve talked about the ~casual chauvinism~ and why it wasn’t One already (here and here and here and here) and @thefirstintimeandspace​ has said a lot more that is much better written so I don’t want everything I say about One here to be about that but just know I’m Mightily Annoyed And Unhappy and think the decision was really lazy writing. THAT BEING SAID, David Bradley did a wonderful job with what he was given. In terms of being a note-for-note imitation it wasn’t perfect, definitely could have done with a few twinkly Hartnell chuckles in my book, but the vast majority of the time the heart(s) in the acting was right. I liked how we saw the First Doctor scared of this first change. I mean the whole idea of it must have been terrifying! I felt devastated when he saw what Testimony showed about his future and then his final conversation with Twelve almost made me tear up. And his talk with Bill about looking for the truth in the stars, trying to find how goodness prevails, was absolutely wonderful. That’s not to say it made up for the character disservice and it makes me sad there may be people put off watching his era because of that, but there was a lot of good.

And now Peter. Oh Peter. The first episode I ever watched live was The Time of the Doctor. I thought it was an awful episode and so in my heart the first live episode I saw was Deep Breath but Twelve has been the only Doctor I’ve followed from week to week. So not only will I miss the character I love and Peter’s consistently superb acting but it’s the end of an era for me. I’m so excited for Thirteen (she’s keeping her accent we’re getting another Northern Doctor!!) but there there is definitely a Twelve-shaped hole in my heart. “Doctor, I let you go”. What perfect final lines. After he said this I had to pause the ep just to give myself a couple of minutes to let go too. In fact, the whole final speech (though Moff dude why are you so obsessed with the Doctor’s name) was wonderful. I’m just really going to miss him. A lot. Thanks Peter.

Ok general yelling below the cut:

actual clips from The Tenth Planet!!

LOVE! HATE! HAVE YOU NO EMOTIONS?

lol though surely they could have found someone shorter than Polly to play Ben? 

and got a wig for Polly that didn’t look like it was from poundland?

oh well it was only brief

‘your face it’s all over the place’

the this is my nurse joke would have worked so much better if the hadn’t continued

'obviously polly isn’t around any more’ 'in dire need of a good spring clean’ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(ok that’s it just assume my angry screaming applied to every sexist First Doctor moment)

One: *mentions the french*    me: nice reign of terror reference!!!!

THE DOCTOR’S THEME!!

also I’ve been listening to the unreleased soundtrack for this ep while writing this (thank you magic music people) and there’s All The Strange Strange Creatures! Doomsday! Eleven’s Theme!

a farewell tour of sorts for Murray Gold I suppose :(

BILL MY LOVE!!!!!!

I’m so happy we get to see her one last time!! 

(even if it’s not QUITE her)

Bill and Pearl were so wonderful and deserved to be in the show for longer but alas

I’ll really miss Bill she and Twelve made such a fantastic team

yes One! notice that asymmetry!

why didn’t Testimony just tell the Doctors that they collect memories? 

I mean that would have just got rid of the plot and Twelve probably wouldn’t have believed them I suppose

MARY BERRY!

ONE’S TARDIS!! complete with assorted furniture and ornaments :’)

I like how one wall was still different but not just a flat wall with roundels printed on lol

(shoutout to one of my posts I linked to earlier)

CORPORAL JONES! 

glad to know Twelve has watched Dad’s Army

lol well I can’t say I had expected Rusty to be back for Twelve’s final ep but I’m not complaining

'you’re the first Dalek to ever get naked for me’ was NOT something I needed to hear

so if Bill is part of Testimony then there are two Bills? 

and actual non-memory Bill doesn’t know that Twelve’s alive?

also does this mean that Testimony can just.....reconstruct literally anyone who has died?

also speaking of extraction at the moment of death I wonder how this worked for Clara?

was her Testimony extraction before or after Twelve extracted her?

we can just add this to Metacrisis Ten and the gangers in the whole ‘this is the real me! I remember everything!’ theme

Lethbridge-Stewart!!

the moustache should have been a giveaway

also this is extra nice since I’ve now finally met the Brig in my Classic Who watch

I love stories about the Christmas truce it’s one of my favourite historical things

‘impeccable dress sense’

(I actually have a post somewhere in my drafts where I was attempting to humourously document Twelve’s range of outfits lol I should find that)

CLARA!!!!

I WAS ALREADY EMOTIONAL FROM TWELVE AND ONE’S CONVERSATION THIS TIPPED ME OVER THE EDGE

AND THEN NARDOLE ROCKS UP AND TWELVE COMPLAINS ABOUT IT BEING WORSE THAN DYING WHATTA MOOD I’M LAUGHING

(I was actually surprised that I was happy to see Nardole again and then he had to ruin it by talking about nipples thanks I really didn’t need that)

'invisible hair’ was that from the fan show or had it been something in s10??? I can’t remember

just one more life won’t hurt, Twelve, and it’ll do the universe a world of good

the score during Twelve’s final speech is Breaking the Wall which is one of my absolute favourites and jUST MAKING IT MORE EMOTIONAL

THIRTEEN IS HERE AND THE TARDIS IS ON FIRE AND CRASHING AND IT’S BRILLIANT

Doctor, I let you go. And I can’t wait to see what your next self brings.