#I need to practice doing art of people to get better

[dailymanners]

Tips and ideas for how to respond when someone is being rude to you

For personal reasons I won't get into, I have a history of just freezing when some is rude / hostile / aggressive / condescending / patronizing / etc. It's obviously not something I'm happy about at all, most people who freeze or fawn aren't happy about it and would change it if they could.

One day I confided in my co-worker, a middle aged woman in her 50's, that this is something I struggle with. Considering how confident and assertive she always struck me as, I was shocked when she told me this is also something she's struggled with.

The advice she gave me is to just memorize and practice a few broad statements or reactions that you can pull out of your pocket so to speak when someone is being rude or disrespectful to you. It's not easy if you're someone who's been conditioned to freeze or fawn, but practice helps. Practice saying these things when you're alone. Put up a sticky note next to your bed or on your bathroom mirror with these phrases and practice them when you see them. Practice saying these with a partner or trusted friend, role-play scenarios where you might need to use these phrases.

Here's a few phrases that have worked for me. The nice thing about them is that they tend to shut down the situation rather than escalating, while still letting the aggressor know that you don't find their behavior acceptable.

"Are you okay?"

This works well in professional settings, because it's not like your work place's residential bully can run to HR about you asking if they're okay (but they might if you try to retaliate and give them a taste of their own medicine). However, it still effectively sends the message "I think there's something wrong with your behavior and don't accept it". It's also not likely the response they're expecting, so it'll likely throw them off and prevent further verbal aggression.

"Could you repeat that for me? I didn't catch what you said."

This one is most effective for people you believe to actually have a conscious and might regret what they said if they actually thought about it a little more. I find that often when I do this one, when people repeat the rude/snippy/patronizing/etc thing they either shamefully stumble over their words and show some remorse, or they change altogether what they say. In the off chance they don't regret what they said and end up repeating exactly what they said, this at least buys you some time to think of a better reaction since you're no longer caught off guard by a sudden rude and snippy remark.

"Can you explain what you mean by that?"

Similar logic to the last one. Often when people are being rude/snippy/patronizing/etc they're caught up in their own emotions in that moment and didn't think it through. This is a polite and civil way of putting their rude behavior in the spotlight and making them reconsider what they said. The other advantage to this one is that in case you did misread their intentions and they meant no harm by what they said or did, this gives them an opportunity to clarify that, instead of you just feeling bad over a statement or actions they actually had no ill intentions with.

If anyone has any further examples of reactions / responses / statements that have worked for them, I'd love to hear about them. I'm new to studying the art of how to civilly yet effectively shut down bad behavior from others, so I'm always open to hearing more suggestions.

[explaintome]

Dear Mouthwashing fandom, explain to me, why next to the incredible fan art, I find a fuck ton of shipping content, especially between characters where this is highly problematic? SPOILERS FOR MOUTHWASHING AHEAD CN for talk about sexual abuse, death, suicide & violence

DISCLAIMER: I do not shame the general practice of shipping at all. I am a shipper myself and I think it makes up for a lot of interesting dynamics and narratives outside the canon. Shipping is an important pillar of fandom communities and I am unable to forbid you to do it. HOWEVER, in the case of Mouthwashing I want to talk about what, in my opinion, feels tone-deaf to the themes and the canon of the game. But let me start with a short summary of the game before I get into it.

Mouthwashing is basically a visual novel that takes place on the Tulpar, the last manned cargo ship of the company Pony Express. The crew, consisting of Caption Curly, Co-Captain Jimmy, Nurse Anya, Mechanic Swansea and his intern Daisuke, is confronted with a crash against an asteroid and the consequences following it. The story is told out of order to reveal the truth bit by bit. What caused the crash, what happened and how the crew deals with the time afterward being stuck on the ship. Revealing sexual abuse, tragic backstories, the horrible side effects of late state capitalism and the neglect of people in command towards the people they are responsible for.

To boil it down we have two men who, out of societal misogyny, hurt the only woman on their crew by assaulting her or not acting as they should have in their position of responsibility. All of this would not have happened if Jimmy didn't rape Anya and impregnate her, and if Curly had disciplined Jimmy in a capacity possible on the ship and in Jimmy's position as co-pilot. To be honest, with the amount of automatization the ship has, I don't think they need Jimmy if it is not a case of emergency, but I digress. Jimmy is the perpetrator of the story, but Curly is an accomplice in putting his aim of finding a solution and compromise over punishing his subordinate as he should have.

And now to my actual point: I am a big fan of the game, the narration style and the utter tragedy of 5 people losing their lives in the isolation of space, with their company not giving a shit about them. Otherwise, they might have been rescued much earlier or at all. Or had enough cryo pots in the first place. Or a nurse with experience. Or any amount of better equipment and not the most cheap shit that somehow made it through a resemblance of regulations. There are probably no regulations.

Being a fan I, of course, looked into the hashtags on several social media sites, and between the incredible art and analysis of the game, I quickly found shipping content, and I have no idea why. I have literally no idea how that narrative speaks to you in a way of shipping characters romantically/sexually. Especially three shippings really rub me the wrong way.

ANYA/JIMMY

Are you fucking kidding me? Literally, what is wrong with you shipping a victim with their abuser? There was not one interaction between them, that suggest that there was consent or affection, that Jimmy has any sympathy for Anya. He knows what is going on, he knows that Anya is pregnant and takes no responsibility. Even worse, his idea of FIXING this was to kill everyone, at least himself, to avoid responsibility! Same goes for AUs where she kept the baby and is somehow okay and happy? I get the urge to fix it, but that is not a good fix. There is no good fix if you are pregnant due to rape.

ANYA/CURLY

A lot of argument I hear for that is that "at least Curly is her friend and was nice to her" and if that is your whole foundation of argument, I want to ask what your standards for a relationship are. Please know that you deserve more than the bare minimum. Another question in that context: Is Curly really Anya's friend? His friend was abused and instead of protecting her, he tried to reason and help her abuser! That is not the behavior of a friend! There is no "but Jimmy is his friend too!". If your friend is an abuser and that does not make you stop being their friend....why?

JIMMY/CURLY

It feels like it is a law on the internet, that two men who look at least averagely handsome will be shipped, especially if they have the tiniest of connection to each other. I am not even sure if I would call them friends in the first place. It appears that Jimmy, whatever his bad life before that job was (thanks to the developers for not giving us a backstory), he is still absolutely unsatisfied with that he has. He is jealous of Curly and his position, seeing how quickly he takes on the Captain title after the crash and only realizes far too late how hard the position actually is. Curly on the other hand feels a bit like a people pleaser to me. He probably had pity for Jimmy, took him under his wing to help him? Fix him? Whatever it is, it made him ignore Jimmy's bad side to a fatal degree. I respect the toxic yaoi but are you sure?

TLDR; I am worried about how the practice of shipping developed, from a way to extend the canon, explore queerness in cis/straight dominated media, into a compulsion of where some people can't look at any form of media or constellation of characters without immediately smashing them together like dolls. If you do this, maybe step back for a minute and ask yourself if it is appropriate. On that note, same goes in case you defend Jimmy. Why?

[smiledemon69]

ADVICE FOR NEW COMIC ARTISTS/PEOPLE WHO'D LIKE TO MAKE COMICS!!

Let me tell you what i learned from own experience and watching 756576747 webcomic videos:

1. the art doesn´t need to be perfect. you´ll never be able to practice everything you´ll need to draw because you can´t know what you´ll have to draw!! and you´ll get better over time!!! so pls don´t worry about art. Readers love to see your improved too!!

2. same with plot/storytelling! you don´t need to be perfect. BE CRINGE BUT BE FREE!!!

3. work at your own pace!!! don´t stress/burn yourself out. however, it´s important to keep working on it! the longer you take a break the harder it is to get back on track!

4. do what you think works best for you and your story. Don't create something you think others will like. Create something YOU'LL LIKE!!! this way, you won't lose passion in the long run

5. Your comic doesn't have to have the typical scroll format or book format, go wild frfr!!!

6. Please draw the background/when you use 3d assets, draw over them so they don't look out of place!!!

7. most importantly, just have fun!!! It's your comic 🫶

Never hold yourself back thinking you're not good enough!! It's important that you start!! You got this 🫶💕

[caycanteven]

Motti appreciation 🙌 cause Mothie inspires me… ;3;

Motti belongs to @mothiepixie 🫶

[theswedishpajas]

The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄

[basil-the-bulbasaur]

The Buttons!!! (Of the mcyt variety)

For context the ranchers one has text because 1: I wanted it to be clear that it's team rancher and not just some random gay blonde people and 2: every time I see the word ranch I say, "Like, like ranchers?????" in the most pitiful high pitched voice I can manage

[luxtax]

Lynette sketchpage ; I am obsessed with the concept of her cutting her hair short when she was younger. Also monster features like fangs and funky eyes give me lifeblood, let Lynette be a proper monster girl as a treat.

[b4kuch1n]

hi it's me. bulletpoints

job has concluded! barring sudden expansion on the project I think that's gonna be it for my work here. six character cards in total! this leads to

wrists are bit fucked. I'll be putting that thang (creen tablet) in da closet again for at least a month while trying to hold as few heavy objects as possible for the time being

why one month deadline? well it's bc I made an artfight account. I'm fucking doing it this year on god I'll kick anyone's ass I'll kick my own ass. I'll post a link to my acc a week or so before the event starts, meanwhile I'll keep updating my roster and cleaning up this cardboard box I arrived at their door in. do u guys have a spare pair of suspenders I have a really funny joke to make

will be doing it on the creen tablet, unless I make enough to get a new graphic tablet that works with SAI2 inbetween. on that note

ink comms should come back sometimes next week babeyy I need to get back into da groove! miss my G pen it feels like I was close to something last time. I wanna get back to it. but also

I'm writing a fic now. tis the season it seems this happened last year too. but I'll try my best to not disappear off the face of the earth for 3 months running again lol I'll do my best to pace myself, since this is gonna be one of the heftier writing things.

sk8 people and another very specific subset of people will be pleased to know it's a sk8 Real Steel AU. if this means nothing to u carry on. have a good day. to the five people still here I'll probably be brainposting abt writing this so don't be surprised if that comes up here and there

circling back a bit I'm currently 120 USD away from the graphic tablet I wanna get, so that'll be what the ink comms are going toward. otherwise if u enjoy my art and have a spare doller to buy the baku a coffee I'd absolutely appreciate ur support! not mandatory but I'll definitely be very thankful! especially bc

I'll probably phase out the redbubble store some time in the future. at the very least I'll probably stop uploading new things on there while looking for alternative. ohh baby they are doing some wild shit and I want off the ride please. please

but yeah. that's the current plan for things. I've accepted that comics happen when they want to, and I have faith they still want to see the sunlight some time this year. meanwhile we keep busy keep training keep recovering! thank u for ur patience. have a good night take this sharp object

[tommyssupercoolblog]

not putting the reblog banner on this one bc it would feel disrespectful. anyway big fucking mood, felt in my soul. trying SO HARD not to think abt the drama rn.

[zoppzoop]

GAAHAHHHHH

[doomednarrative]

An attempt has been made

[monster-noises]

I am experiencing... frustration.

[dyrujuz-art-and-stuff]

Trying to get better at drawing people so have a doodle of skater pearl based on that one mcc skin

[mochinon-yah]

hell you're AMAZING AT ART?? TELL ME YOUR SECRET BESTIE BECAUSE I'M AMAZING AT PAINTING BUT CAN'T DRAW FOR THE LIFE OF ME😭

even on canvas i'm like- 'alright yeah, where's the yellow carbon paper.' 😭

LMAOOO, THANK YOU CHERRY!! 😭🤚 i'm not that good at drawing yet, but sjsksjska THANKS 😵‍💫😵‍💫

But aaaaa, i guess my secret is to observe, i think?? I'm a visual learner, so observing people on how to draw helps me significantly.... and also just practice a lot! However, i can say this, i'm pretty good at drawing, but i am so bad at painting or just choosing colors for the drawing itself lol

[samuraisharkie]

I’ve said this to friends earlier but I’m saying it here, lately i keep telling myself everytime I balk at doing things bc I don’t feel quite “right” yet, just “do it scared”, “do it weird”, “do it badly” “but do it” LOL my new mantra while I’m fighting my way out of silent hill, no “just do it” bc that doesn’t hit quite right, I have to add “scared/weird/wrong/badly” for it to hit right. idk why but it’s probably a good mentality to have to avoid getting stuck

[bonbongiveshell]

Rsd is so fucked bc I'll be like hmm my art isn't at the point I would like it to be and my brain is like delete all of it, burn every sketchbook and canvas, throw your iPad away