#I need to practice doing art of people to get better
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PART 7 LAST PART Unconventional Alpha
Alpha!Viktor x omega!reader
Warnings: Heats, suppressants, AOB, light swearing, Viktor’s not dying but still disabled, reader has chronic pain, plus size reader, nesting, Older Viktor, Professor Viktor, artistic reader, age gap reader is in their 20s +, smut?, oral f receiving
Previous part <-
It’s a routine eventually, he gets up, makes you breakfast of simple toast and butter, brings you your meds before lying back down in your nest. He simply holds you during these times, his fingers gently detangling your hair his other hand resting on your hip or waist. He sleeps with you at night, his long lean body wrapped around your bigger frame. Your heat isn’t as bad now, probably having an alpha close pretty much 24/7 has done its trick. By the seventh day you feel better, you don’t sweat as much, the need goes to a simmer and your flare up goes down. You shower properly, feel better about yourself and even do some art out in your small lounge area of your dorm room. Viktor goes back to his work once he sees you up and about, catching up assignments and whatever else professors do no doubt. By the tenth day you’re fine, your heat is gone, you feel different though, calmer with Viktor around like he was always meant to be there. Being off your suppressants too makes you feel more like yourself, rather than suppressing your omega nature. Viktor goes back to class on the eleventh day as do you, you hope to avoid any rumours or anything but highly doubt that nobody didn’t talk. So you keep a low profile, not that your profile wasn’t low anyway, you just make it extra low. You go back to the doctors and Dr Marion confirms you’re in the clear and able to take your suppressants again as long as you don’t double dose again, which you will not. You sit in the cafeteria around lunch, earphones in as you listen to some music. You notice a small band approaching though and frown a bit hoping their walking past with no such luck. You take your earphones out.
“Hi?” You say.
“What’s it like to fuck a professor?” You almost joke on your food at the blunt question and feel your embarrassment rise up.
“I didn’t- do that” you say, who even was this woman?
“That’s why Professor Viktor was in your dorm for eleven days huh? You smell fresh out of heat too” she crosses her arms over her chest.
“I-“ you didn’t think this far ahead.
“You should leave before I decide to make you all fail my class” You tense up a bit at the sound of Professor Talis behind you and glance back to him briefly. The students walk off though and you sigh.
“Y/n? Right?” He gives you a smile.
“Yeah” you answer.
“Can I sit?” He asks and you nod. Great now two Professors that aren’t yours are suddenly talking to you in the cafeteria.
“How you feeling?” He asks and you tense up at the question.
“I just meant your overall well being I wasn’t-“ You watch as Professor Talis stammers over his words and goes a shade of red over his tan skin.
“I’m ok” you nod and he sighs in relief nodding.
“That’s good” he smiles.
“Viktor’s caught up in some meetings for the day” he explains as he starts to eat his lunch.
“Oh, thanks for letting me know” you say nodding picking at your food feeling awkward.
“I’m making you uncomfortable” he says.
“No- it’s ok” you say.
“No, it’s not, two professors that aren’t yours talking to you in cafeteria puts a target on your back for rumours” he smiles gently and you nod not sure how to answer.
“In all honesty I’m an admirer of your art too, I’ve seen it in the academy gallery” he says and you perk up.
“Really?” You ask and he nods smiling.
“Yeah it’s amazing, and the one in the council room? I could never paint like that” he chuckles and you feel a smile on your lips.
“Just practice” you shrug.
“No, you’re hell of an artist, like seriously talented” he says and you feel warm at the praise. It’s been hard to accept praises from people about your art, always looking at it and finding mistakes in tiny details.
“Well you’re a seriously talented inventor” you chuckle and he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly with a cute smile.
“Only sometimes” he grins. You feel at ease as you talk more, Professor Talis going on about your art work like a fan boy it makes you smile having only seen him as this super smart tough inventor who invented a hextech hammer and gauntlets. You loose track of time before his watch buzzes.
“Shit” he says standing up abruptly.
“Sorry, I gotta go I’m late to my own damn class” he says and you laugh waving him goodbye as he rushes.
You return to your own art class for the day lost in the strokes of the brush before you realise it’s late. Your stomach grumbles for food as you stand and you glance to the clock before heading to the cafeteria. Your heart rate increases a bit seeing a familiar figure there sitting down at your table. You grab a tray of food before walking over.
“Can I sit?” You ask watching the alpha lift his head a small smile on his face as he nods.
“Was starting to think you weren’t coming” he says as you sit down.
“And miss dinner? Who do you take me for?” You tease and he chuckled softly.
“Of course” he says. You look at him for a bit before you look at your food and start eating it.
“Professor Talis sat with me at lunch today” you say.
“Jayce did?” Viktor says frowning a bit and you nod.
“Had a rather blunt rumour of me uh fucking a professor and Professor Talis said he’d fail them all if they didn’t leave” Viktor’s frown narrows.
“I didn’t say anything - if you’re wondering I haven’t-“ you trail off stuttering a bit.
“I know you didn’t, I’m just-” he sighs.
“You’d think in a place such as the academy silly rumours would be a thing of the past where people used their damned brains for once” he sneers a bit and you smile.
“Damned brains huh?” You say and he looks to you his frown softening.
“Indeed” he smiles.
“I’m sorry if I caused any problems” you say poking your food with your fork.
“Look at me” he says and you do.
“I don’t care what anyone says, they want to talk let them, you needed me in a vulnerable time and I’m happy you trusted me, any alpha would’ve been privileged to-“ he frowns a bit suddenly.
“What?” You ask quietly.
“Would you like to go on a date?” He says his eyes staring into yours and you forget how to breathe.
“A date?” You ask and he nods.
“Like a date, date? Outside the academy?” You continue.
“Yes” he says.
“You want to go on a date with me?” I smiled a bit and leans forward.
“Yes Miss Y/n Y/l/n I would like to go on a date with you” he says softly.
“Why?” You blurt stupidly.
“Because the thought of you finding another alpha makes me want to use my cane for violence than aid” he says seriously and you burst out laughing at the sudden imagery of him attacking someone with his cane.
“And I do enjoy seeing you laugh” he says more softly and you feel your cheeks warm.
“I also do love enjoying being the one who makes those pretty cheeks of yours go red” he says voice dropping lower making you warmer.
“I could go on, however….” he trails off and smirks and you see the cockiness in it making you glare at him.
“I want to be the only one buried between those gorgeous thighs of yours” he whispers and he’s right you’re no doubt red as a tomato. You reach over and slap him and he smiles taking your hand in his instead, his fingers gently running over your hand.
“But I am serious, the thought of another alpha with you, staying with you in that time made me realise I want you, and I’m hoping you want me too” he says his voice soft as he gently caresses your hand.
“So, will you go out on a date with me?” He repeats and you nod. He smiles brightly, full teethed and natural, you see his slightly crooked teeth as he lifts your hand to his mouth and he kisses your knuckles.
Taglist:
I hope you enjoyed this story!
@imithicwolf
@donnie-is-here
@justmoniesworld
@sseleniaa
@charliepoopyfart
@fuckisthatahotghost
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Motti appreciation 🙌 cause Mothie inspires me… ;3;
Motti belongs to @mothiepixie 🫶
#motti appreciation#my art#friend art#I need to practice doing art of people to get better#I’m so out of practice#reason Lex wears sweats#I am also teaching myself not to be perfect#I’m critical#Mothie inspired me tho#cays fanart
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brush test slash rendering practice with ayem
#morrowind#almalexia#the elder scrolls#tes#tes fanart#art#id in alt#ok that's all the tags this needs ANYWAY#i started this 1. for experimenting with coloring from dark to light#2. because i wanted to draw someone kind of back turned to the camera#3. rendering practice for hair particularly#4. to go from sketch to rendering rather than doing lines to see if that doesn't smooth out my workflow a bit#5. because i've never actually used this brush past flat coloring#and out of those 1. i don't think i had enough of an idea of the palette or process to jump into dark to light painting so i did scrap that#and go with my usual “flat color with one of the mid shadow tones add shadows add light”#i do think that painting from shadows out is a thing people do digitally i just think this wasn't the drawing to test it on for me#i think i'd need to look at some other peoples processes and start with a more fleshed out idea of where to go#2 and 3 i think worked out. i'm gradually figuring hair out which i think is sick#4 i also think worked out for me which is also sick because i do get caught on lines a lot. they're fun sometimes but i think some drawings#benefit better from not having them and that it might be a bit faster#and of course everything i do is so that i can draw slightly faster and better for next artfight#as for 5. i have mixed feelings on this brush but that might be because i hate change. and also because i started this drawing on the 15th#of november and finished it yesterday. so im kind of just sick of working on and looking at it#it was a valuable learning experience and i think it came out well! i am also going to drop to my knees and rejoice when i can finally#close this file out and free medibang paint from under it so i can work on Literally Anything Else#thank you almalexia for being my test subject i should've used a reference for your armor when i did the sketch but i didn't#maybe the crown looks weird because of it maybe it doesn't. not my problem anymore i can draw other elves again#my art#iiii think i forgot a my art tag last time
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The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄
#my art stuff#digital art#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#this is part of a series I like to call “I’m never settling on a singular detailed artstyle”#I have no consistency in drawing realistic people/characters other than my shapy cartoon style#but I truly don’t get enough opportunity to properly shade anything with art in that style-!!! it always looks weird to me-!!!!!#I think some rude lil worm in my brain is wriggling around telling me it’s a futile attempt at still doing realism#cus I’m one of those “gifted” artists that grew up promising his parents he’ll end up among the big names or whatever#constantly training to become better at art but with realism oil paintings as the goal#you know how it is 😔#I wanna shade my lil funky designs but they never feel good enough to really put energy into or whatever so I compromise with stuff -#- like this where I try to draw characters more accurately while still stylizing them and shading them however I feel like it#which is great and all but I should really learn to give my more relaxed and less perfectionist art a chance#I deserve to enjoy the process and the result without working myself dead#it’s so much easier and rewarding to copy cartoon styles - stylizing realism makes me too anxious of doing it “wrong”#at least cartoon styles give me a goal to reach or a reference to strive towards#man I really should just cut myself some slack altogether#either way - this man is a flustered mess and he’s embarrassed about being called adorable in public or something#being teased in an affectionate way about his sweeter side and stuff#don’t ask why he’s shirtless - anatomy is just a lot more fun for me to draw sometimes#tasteful nudity and all that is extremely gorgeous to me#i need to practice anatomy more cus I just kinda did some shit and went with it this time with a BIT of consideration for muscle structure
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The Buttons!!! (Of the mcyt variety)
For context the ranchers one has text because 1: I wanted it to be clear that it's team rancher and not just some random gay blonde people and 2: every time I see the word ranch I say, "Like, like ranchers?????" in the most pitiful high pitched voice I can manage
#technically the it/its is upsidedown so i have to make another at some point. also this one was sort of rushed and i can do it better#not quite pink enough to get the zed across#team rancher#tangotek#jimmy solidarity#i am posting this now because otherwise it will never be posted. like with much of my art and every other button ive ever made#attacus the artist#drawing them as people is scary. but this is my please look at the button and understand what it means and talk to me about team rancher#button. and drawing them as people gets the idea across better than as rats. also i need to practice simplified people
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Lynette sketchpage ; I am obsessed with the concept of her cutting her hair short when she was younger. Also monster features like fangs and funky eyes give me lifeblood, let Lynette be a proper monster girl as a treat.
#lynette#genshin impact#art#illustration#sketchpage#I hate drawing people but I do think I am getting better I'm in a very experimental era with them#in a modern AU I can see her as an assassin/spy intel gatherer for the Fatui#I also wanted to try out this new pen that is supposed to be like posca pens I like it! I need more practice tho
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i really find it interestin that you can kinda clock an artist's age based on how self-deprecatin they are lol
#its the uh. 'OMG THIS SUCKS SO BAD!!! SAWRRY' attitude#which is like. yeah. i get it#and im an adult rn and i also dunk on my art#but i feel like the way an adult dunks on their art vs how a teen does it is. noticeable#adults usually are like 'eh. this kinda sucks but w/e' (at least i am in this camp)#teens are just way more mean to themselves and dont shut up about how much their art 'sucks'#i was there before so i understand#but i think. ppl need to realize. when theyre overly self-deprecatin and put themselves down a lot it becomes annoying#which i know is very harsh of me to say#i used to be there so i know that feelin of insecurity but MAN#once you mature more you realize that expressing yourself in such a way is kinda cringe!#PLEASE just practice being kind to yourself#i think the cringe comes from the fact that no one really likes to see that stuff#if you need comfort or anything please talk it out with someone but like.#being VERY terrible publicly to yourself just makes a lot of people uncomfortable#keep in mind. if you post it online a bunch of strangers will be seein you moan about how 'bad' you are#and guess what! they dont know you! and they wont care!#it can start with 'i dont like how it turned out but at least its done'#what matters if that you enjoy yourself#if you start being terrible to yourself about your hobby that you should be enjoying then remind yourself youre there to have fun#skypeaks#also i will add. self-deprecation will also not help you in the long run. i would know from experience#cause rather than being productive with your self-deprecation you stick to 'i just suck!!!'#rather than like 'okay. im bad at this. but what can i do to better myself??'#i say from experience. this attitude CAN affect your relationships. not in a good way#so practice bein nice to yourself. truly.#you dont even need to be NICE just be neutral#start there. start with 'im okay at this'
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hi it's me. bulletpoints
job has concluded! barring sudden expansion on the project I think that's gonna be it for my work here. six character cards in total! this leads to
wrists are bit fucked. I'll be putting that thang (creen tablet) in da closet again for at least a month while trying to hold as few heavy objects as possible for the time being
why one month deadline? well it's bc I made an artfight account. I'm fucking doing it this year on god I'll kick anyone's ass I'll kick my own ass. I'll post a link to my acc a week or so before the event starts, meanwhile I'll keep updating my roster and cleaning up this cardboard box I arrived at their door in. do u guys have a spare pair of suspenders I have a really funny joke to make
will be doing it on the creen tablet, unless I make enough to get a new graphic tablet that works with SAI2 inbetween. on that note
ink comms should come back sometimes next week babeyy I need to get back into da groove! miss my G pen it feels like I was close to something last time. I wanna get back to it. but also
I'm writing a fic now. tis the season it seems this happened last year too. but I'll try my best to not disappear off the face of the earth for 3 months running again lol I'll do my best to pace myself, since this is gonna be one of the heftier writing things.
sk8 people and another very specific subset of people will be pleased to know it's a sk8 Real Steel AU. if this means nothing to u carry on. have a good day. to the five people still here I'll probably be brainposting abt writing this so don't be surprised if that comes up here and there
circling back a bit I'm currently 120 USD away from the graphic tablet I wanna get, so that'll be what the ink comms are going toward. otherwise if u enjoy my art and have a spare doller to buy the baku a coffee I'd absolutely appreciate ur support! not mandatory but I'll definitely be very thankful! especially bc
I'll probably phase out the redbubble store some time in the future. at the very least I'll probably stop uploading new things on there while looking for alternative. ohh baby they are doing some wild shit and I want off the ride please. please
but yeah. that's the current plan for things. I've accepted that comics happen when they want to, and I have faith they still want to see the sunlight some time this year. meanwhile we keep busy keep training keep recovering! thank u for ur patience. have a good night take this sharp object
#bakuspeech#boy oh boy. its been a Month#hi. I received a sticker sheet and a clay pin of frogs today. its been good#art wise Ive been on day three of drawing break. and day. something. of writing this fic#I! kind of! know how itll end! but if nothing I know I am so willing to improv this shit to the bitter confusing end#you guys dont get to see the proof of that sorry. but my friend yumi specifically u know. u know#at least nobody died graphically ten thousand years ago in space this time#this year has been real fuckin topsy turvy so far art wise. but I have learned a lot! including to fuckign pace myself. and I am practicing#straight up had at least three unrelated art and art-adjacent breakdown in the last three months lmao. its so. this is so#well. Im better now. I am so smart and I kick my own ass so well. we good! we are good. dw abt me!#hope ur having a good day. games official ship date now lands in october. my art will be out there in peoples hands soon......#ah. well right now I need to sleep. or finish ryan chongoshows hifi rush stream series. whichever applies first#have a good night lads! do a twirl to skip this level
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not putting the reblog banner on this one bc it would feel disrespectful. anyway big fucking mood, felt in my soul. trying SO HARD not to think abt the drama rn.
#tommy's og art wow#tommy's OG ART wow#my hot take is that the VICTIM deserves support and is 100% valid. that was abusive. but that being said#this doesn't make THE GUY (iykyk) irredeemable forever because people can change; but- THE VICTIM still deserves#support and her experiences were absolutely horrible. no one deserves to be treated like that. my only hope is that 1) she heals#and 2) that THE GUY learns to have healthy relationships and not abuse others- finding other ways to deal with his mental illness.#he's been open about being toxic for awhile now; self awareness IS the first step to change but he seems to be resigned to it#but this behavior ISN'T inevitable. his mental illnesses absolutely make him prone to this#but healing- and becoming someone who wouldn't do this- isn't impossible. it'll always be something he can reach one day if he really tries#but clearly he's not there yet and shouldn't be like...in relationships (/r or /p) until he figures this out. and he needs to figure it out#THE VICTIM has all my love in the world. may she have happiness and healing in the future. this was like rlly awful#and to anyone who struggles with behaviors like that- you still matter and you won't be like this forever. but being afraid isn't enough#fear of being abusive isn't the same as taking pratical steps to ensure you don't repeat that cycle and hurt others.#recognition is the first step#but you have to brainstorm what you can do. how you can practice. how you can get better. and i believe you can. i believe anyone can.#lets hope my tags dont get cut off lol#anyway. yeah
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GAAHAHHHHH
#venting in the tags#maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much#but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn#im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but#i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me#feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel#like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went#back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening#and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just#crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and#usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better#but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that#plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut#the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad#'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like#shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those#fuck you you bitch#i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep#tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less#ps. note to anyone reading the tags#im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.
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An attempt has been made
#this is Not the drawing i was talking about wanting to do btw this was just a practice thing#sonoi#donbrothers#avataro sentai donbrothers#my art#think i need to stick to more cartoony stuff cause trying to draw actual people just does not work for me#but i wanted to try anyways#i'll get better at him with practice
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I am experiencing... frustration.
#monster noises#why must the ideas you can see the clearest in your head be the hardest to capture?#I'm trying to make a new phone lock screen#(currently I'm using the drawing of laz and heis on the motorcycle and while I looove that image it's been there for a few years now)#and I have a very Precise Idea of what I want it to be#in the same style as I did my FaHI playlist cover#but I can't seem to get the thumbnail looking in anyway Correct#and it's really..... frustrating........... and disheartening#then when I try and like actually figure out what I need to Fix it's like my brain blanks out and I"m stumbling around completely clueless#and then I just start uselessly spiraling and just AUGH#why can't I have the kind of brain that hits a barrier and proceeds to problem-solve?#why do I have to have a brain that hits a barrier and just.. rolls over in defeat#not even a tantrum or a breakdown#just#0 resistance laying down and giving up#it's stupid and I'm mad about it but I still don't know what to do about it at all#I wish I could explain it in a way that would allow someone to maybe be able to help me actually#cause it seems every time I try there's always some fundamental misunderstanding about Which Step In The Process Is Challenging#like that one time I tried asking about it on twitter#asking if anyone had resources for How to be better at learning from and interpreting references/doing studies#or just learning for art purposes in general (in a way that won't cause me to Break Down)#and people linked a bunch of how-to's on how to Draw from Reference#and I know those /Sound/ like the same thing but they arrrrren't#and I know those people's heart's were in a good place but I know How to use a reference#I know How to do a life drawing or a study#I get it on a practical level#but there is something fundamental to the process of interpreting and understanding what exactly I'm doing that I just...#Don't Have#and That's really really Really hard to explain#it's like how I'm actually good at math I just can't do word problems because I can't glean what is required of me from a word problem.
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Trying to get better at drawing people so have a doodle of skater pearl based on that one mcc skin
#mcc fanart#pearlescentmoon#pearlescentmoon fanart#lazy doodle#dyrujuz art#i need to get better at actually practicing drawing people#its always fun to do
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Tips and ideas for how to respond when someone is being rude to you
For personal reasons I won't get into, I have a history of just freezing when some is rude / hostile / aggressive / condescending / patronizing / etc. It's obviously not something I'm happy about at all, most people who freeze or fawn aren't happy about it and would change it if they could.
One day I confided in my co-worker, a middle aged woman in her 50's, that this is something I struggle with. Considering how confident and assertive she always struck me as, I was shocked when she told me this is also something she's struggled with.
The advice she gave me is to just memorize and practice a few broad statements or reactions that you can pull out of your pocket so to speak when someone is being rude or disrespectful to you. It's not easy if you're someone who's been conditioned to freeze or fawn, but practice helps. Practice saying these things when you're alone. Put up a sticky note next to your bed or on your bathroom mirror with these phrases and practice them when you see them. Practice saying these with a partner or trusted friend, role-play scenarios where you might need to use these phrases.
Here's a few phrases that have worked for me. The nice thing about them is that they tend to shut down the situation rather than escalating, while still letting the aggressor know that you don't find their behavior acceptable.
"Are you okay?"
This works well in professional settings, because it's not like your work place's residential bully can run to HR about you asking if they're okay (but they might if you try to retaliate and give them a taste of their own medicine). However, it still effectively sends the message "I think there's something wrong with your behavior and don't accept it". It's also not likely the response they're expecting, so it'll likely throw them off and prevent further verbal aggression.
"Could you repeat that for me? I didn't catch what you said."
This one is most effective for people you believe to actually have a conscious and might regret what they said if they actually thought about it a little more. I find that often when I do this one, when people repeat the rude/snippy/patronizing/etc thing they either shamefully stumble over their words and show some remorse, or they change altogether what they say. In the off chance they don't regret what they said and end up repeating exactly what they said, this at least buys you some time to think of a better reaction since you're no longer caught off guard by a sudden rude and snippy remark.
"Can you explain what you mean by that?"
Similar logic to the last one. Often when people are being rude/snippy/patronizing/etc they're caught up in their own emotions in that moment and didn't think it through. This is a polite and civil way of putting their rude behavior in the spotlight and making them reconsider what they said. The other advantage to this one is that in case you did misread their intentions and they meant no harm by what they said or did, this gives them an opportunity to clarify that, instead of you just feeling bad over a statement or actions they actually had no ill intentions with.
If anyone has any further examples of reactions / responses / statements that have worked for them, I'd love to hear about them. I'm new to studying the art of how to civilly yet effectively shut down bad behavior from others, so I'm always open to hearing more suggestions.
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hell you're AMAZING AT ART?? TELL ME YOUR SECRET BESTIE BECAUSE I'M AMAZING AT PAINTING BUT CAN'T DRAW FOR THE LIFE OF ME😭
even on canvas i'm like- 'alright yeah, where's the yellow carbon paper.' 😭
LMAOOO, THANK YOU CHERRY!! 😭🤚 i'm not that good at drawing yet, but sjsksjska THANKS 😵💫😵💫
But aaaaa, i guess my secret is to observe, i think?? I'm a visual learner, so observing people on how to draw helps me significantly.... and also just practice a lot! However, i can say this, i'm pretty good at drawing, but i am so bad at painting or just choosing colors for the drawing itself lol
#reli-answers : cherry <3#every good has its bad side 😔☝️#that's why i would draw without any color most of the time hehwjsj#but that's why i need to keep on practicing!!#well the most important thing (to me) about doing art is to enjoy it#ofc it gets frustrating sometimes and i too hate drawing because i feel like i can't draw as good as people but don't give uppp#i'm sure u draw good cherry!!!#if u don't think that way. then uhhh i'm sure you're a lot better now than how it was in the past <3#be confident in ur skills! 😆😆#imma stop the tags here before it gets long.... lol
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I’ve said this to friends earlier but I’m saying it here, lately i keep telling myself everytime I balk at doing things bc I don’t feel quite “right” yet, just “do it scared”, “do it weird”, “do it badly” “but do it” LOL my new mantra while I’m fighting my way out of silent hill, no “just do it” bc that doesn’t hit quite right, I have to add “scared/weird/wrong/badly” for it to hit right. idk why but it’s probably a good mentality to have to avoid getting stuck
#I have a VERY bad habit of being such a perfectionist that I just don’t do things if I know it’s not going to turn out exactly how I want#like recently I’ve been trying to draw again and instead of doing my own shit I’ve been tracing old art from myself#bc I’m afraid of what will come out of I just do something new right now bc I know I’m out of practice#and I get discouraged seeing myself go backwards after years of effort to improve#but the thing is the ONLY way to stop that and get back to where I was is to do it scared and badly#bc practice and habit really are the two most important things to improve#as much as I have always hated hearing that bc I’m incapable of forming habits like most people do#so it always has to be a conscious effort on my part instead of natural cycle#but if I want to be proud of my work I can’t wait until I ‘feel better’ bc those days are few and far between#and I’ll end up disappointed if I keep holding myself to standards I met years ago instead of the ones I need today
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