#I miss this game I should replay it again sometime

[timethehobo]

This is still one of my fave games tbh. Sometimes it’s the indies that hit the best.

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! <333

[l3viat8an]

Rooo!!! I have Levi brain rot rn, and I need to share Grand Admiral! Levi thoughts with u :/

As an important figure in the military, Levi has to go out sometimes to check up on the outskirts bases of the Devildom. Make sure that everything is working as they should.

This usually lasts for weeks, and today you had found out how long 2 weeks can feel when your loser gamer boyfriend is out on assignment.

Finding solace in his uncharacteristically empty room, you cuddle up in the bathtub bed, desperate to feel anything that reminded you of your beloved player 1. Using his favorite jacket, watching replays of his old streams, sleeping in his bed, that's slowly losing his scent and feel.

But one day, while curled up in his gaming chair, rewatching his old clips for the thousandth time. Levi comes home. Still in his uniform as he marched into his room, not expecting to find his PC on.

Once you realized he was there, you quickly jumped into his arms, peppering kisses all over him. When you pull away, you expect to see the usual sight; Leviathan a blushing mess, stammering about something you can't quite make out. But now, he wasn't blushing at all. He barely changed his stoic demeanor.

"L-levi...?"

You asked confused, removing yourself from his embrace to look at his attitude. Giving a hurt look as you basically pouted. Throwing a small tantrum that he didn't miss you at all

Unbeknownst to you, Levi was freaking out. After weeks out on field he just wanted to sleep and go back to his shut-in lifestyle. What he didn't know was that what he needed was to see his player 2 dressed in his jacket. Being an adorable tsundere as she pouted.

"On the bed, and strip. Leave the jacket on"

Levi commanded, looking serious as you stood there. Shocked at his words.

"E-excuse me?"

"Did I stutter? Strip, on the bed."

"W-wait–"

Shocked and confused, You stood their unsure of what to do. And why the hell that turned you on so much

It wasn't the first time Levi was in control, but he was usually so sweet and gentle. Not this... demanding. You're not sure if it's the uniform, the attitude, or the fact it was Levi being so assertive. But you followed without hesitation.

And you're so greatful that you did, because the two weeks waiting for him were quickly rewarded. Levi being as merciless with you as he took what he wanted. Leaving you a blushing mess, passed out in his bed, as for the first time in two weeks, you slept with him again on his bed.

The next day, he profusely apologized at how rough he was, while all you could think about was when could you bring that side of him out once more

(AHHH IM SORRY FOR GOING ON FOR SO LONG BUT I NEEDED TO SHARE IT SO BADLYYY 🙏 IDK IF THIS IS SMUT OR FLUFF BUT I JS LOVE HIM AHHHH)

Nsfw!

Looks like fluffy-smut to me- holy shi 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 ‘n idk what happened but my add-on is definitely smut helpjdksj

Levi didn’t actually expected you to obey his command so quickly. He watched as you stripped down, leaving the jacket on like he had ordered. Fuck you look so good It took his breath away and he has to shake his head a bit, collecting himself as you climbed into his bathtub bed.

He quickly joined you, climbing on top of you in the bathtub before pulling you closer and kissing you, moaning softy as he deepens the kiss, sliding his tongue to tangle with yours.

His hands didn’t stop either, roaming over your body, exploring every inch of it, as if trying to burn it into his memory again.

Honestly there was something about this side of Levi that you couldn't resist. It was as if you were being taken by a completely different person, one who was confident and assertive…the grand admiral....it’s really hot-

You moaned when his fingers finally found their way between your legs, pressing against your already dripping cunt. He thrust two fingers inside you, causing you to moan loudly.

"You- you look so beautiful like this." Levi breathed into your ear, his voice low and husky. "I've been waiting for weeks to feel you again…..and I can’t wait anymore.”

He lines his cock up with your ready pussy, waiting for you to nod before sliding in and letting out a little whine he just can’t stop from slipping out, “S-so, good, messed you so m-much..”

He wanted nothing more than to keep you close, to let you feel how much you meant to him, as he fucked you faster, harder-

It was as if he had been holding back for weeks, waiting for this moment to release all the passion that had built up inside him.

“G-gonna cum soon….need, need you to cum with me.” as he leans down to kiss you, one of his hands slides back down to you clit and his thumb rubs against it roughly. Making Levi moan against your lips as you tighten around him, soon as he feels you orgasm take over your body Levi cums. rutting his hips into yours, riding through your orgasms together.

Panting Levi hides his face in your neck for a moment and he can hear you let out a little giggle, before whispering "I've missed you too, Levi." and Levi laughs, pressing a few soft kisses along your neck~

The next morning you’ll wake up to your, sweet boyfriend acting like his usual self. Looking over your body and apologizing endlessly, he promises he’ll be more gentle next time!! Wait no- he didn’t mean it like that!!- he did-

[daisynik7]

Give You Blue

Chapter 4: Alone Together

Pairing: Eren x f!reader, Reiner x f!reader (past relationship)

Rating: Explicit (for mature content)

cw: switching POVs (reader is in 2nd person, Eren is in 3rd), angst, language, a bit of fluff

Word Count: ~5.7k

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Give You Blue Masterlist | ao3 | Give You Blue Taglist

Summary: You and Annie attend a dinner at the Mu Phi sorority house on campus. Reiner, on his way out of Delta Delta, ambushes you on the walk back to your dorm for a less than pleasant conversation. Later that week, RA Eren hosts a game-night for his fellow residents. But, with it being on a Friday right after midterms, he's disappointed when it flops. Fortunately, someone comes to his rescue. Author’s Notes: Hope you enjoy this one! Likes, comments, and/or reblogs are ALWAYS appreciated. Please let me know what you think, I thrive off of reading your comments! If you want to be tagged in any future chapters, please let me know! Divider created by @/mikeykuns.

“Eren, are you paying attention?” 

Armin waves his hands in front of his friend’s face, snapping Eren out of whatever reverie he’s stuck in. He shakes his head slightly, grinning. “Sorry, Armin. Sort of zoned out for a minute there.” They sit next to each other on Eren’s bed, watching a movie on his laptop. It’s Saturday night, and Eren actually agreed to be social today. 

Armin taps on the space bar, pausing the film. “You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Are you sure you’re getting enough sleep?”

The real answer is no, but with Armin, he’ll only worry if he knows the truth. “Plenty. All eight hours,” Eren lies. In reality, he’s getting four hours tops. He stays up late studying, then spends the rest of the night tossing and turning in bed, anxious about the future. 

Oblivious, Armin responds happily. “Good! Living by yourself is already paying off. Sometimes I wish I could have my own space. The frat house can get pretty noisy, especially with Connie as a roommate.” He chuckles, reaching towards the bag of chips between them.

“Connie’s a blast to be around, though. I’m sure you’re having fun.”

“Yeah, I am. You should really come by the house.”

“Maybe. When I have time.” In all honestly, he has no intention of stepping foot in that frat house. Not because he has a disdain for Greek life; but because it’ll only show him what he’s missing out on. He already feels that way whenever he catches up with Mikasa and Armin, both thoroughly enjoying their college experience still. 

Mikasa returns from the bathroom, hopping on the bed to squeeze next to Eren. “What did I miss?”

“We ended up pausing the movie anyways, so not much.” Armin passes the snacks to Mikasa, who throws a handful into her mouth. 

They continue the movie, Eren’s mind drifting into space again. He’s already thinking about the upcoming chemistry midterm next week, how he hasn’t fully memorized the amino acids and their structures yet. And how he has to schedule a date to meet with Hange Zoë, a senior doing research in the lab, to see if he can shadow her for a month. On top of that, he’s planning on hosting a small event at the dorms, something to help his residents let off some steam after exams. It’s all too much. He wants to sleep and pretend that none of these obligations exist. 

The credits roll on his computer screen. He blinks, fully unaware of what transpired during the movie. His friends hang around for a few more minutes before leaving to head to a party somewhere else on campus. Once again, he’s alone. 

He is not motivated to study tonight, already burnt out from the last couple of days. Instead, he practices his electric guitar, working on a particular riff of this song he likes, replaying it over and over through his headphones. He loses himself in the music for a while, the closest thing to an escape that he can reproduce inside his own bedroom. Fingers sore from picking and strumming, he decides to call it a night. Face washed and teeth brushed, he snuggles under the covers, glancing at his phone. 11:00 PM. Wild night, he thinks to himself, laughing. 

Suddenly, his brother’s name flashes across the screen. “Zeke?”

“Eren, hey. You’re not sleeping already, are you?”

“Nah. But I’m in bed.”

“On a Saturday night?”

“Yep.”

Zeke chuckles heartily. “Oh boy. I can already hear it in your voice. Welcome to the club, little brother. Your descent into med school hell is starting.”

“Yay, can’t wait,” Eren responds sarcastically. “Anyways, what’s up?”

“I wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. Clearly not well.”

“I’ve been better.” He keeps his answer vague on purpose. With Zeke, he doesn’t go into too much detail with the emotions he’s experiencing. As much as he respects his older brother, the two of them don’t always see eye-to-eye. While Eren usually acts out of emotion, sometimes to a fault, Zeke is detached, unable to empathize with what his younger brother is struggling with.  

“Is dad still giving you a hard time? I heard he wasn’t happy with your last quiz grade.” 

Eren ignores the urge to ask how he knows about that, already aware that they talk about him behind his back. “I told him it was weighted, so technically I passed.” 

“Well, you know how the old man is. Technicalities don’t really matter to him.”

He rolls his eyes, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, almost regretting picking up this call. “What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying you should study harder.”

He’s fighting to keep his cool, his body tense with anger. Before he loses it, he mutters through gritted teeth, “Okay, thanks. I actually gotta go now, bye.”

“Eren, I’m just trying to help – ”

He doesn’t wait for Zeke to finish his sentence, already tapping on the red button to end the call. Now, with his mood ruined, he’s not sure if he can fall asleep. He wishes it was still daylight, specifically the golden hour when the sun sets. It would be the perfect time to head to his favorite spot: the beach that overlooks the shimmering expanse of blue ocean water separating Paradis and Marley. He discovered this area recently, on one of his drives that he takes to temporarily escape. It brings him peace, even if the moment is fleeting. 

Instead, he scrolls through his contacts, tapping on his mom’s name, holding the phone back up to his ear. When her familiar voice greets him on the other line, the tears start flowing and he spends the next half hour confiding in her. 

~~~

You and Reiner cuddle in bed, his nose nuzzled to the back of your neck, spooning you. Bertolt is home for the weekend, leaving the room to yourselves. 

“Coco, are you still awake?”

You hum, snuggling closer to him, on the verge of sleep. He swallows hard behind you, as if he’s nervous. “I think I want to live in the fraternity house next semester.”

This gets your attention. Surprised, you turn around to face him. “What?”

“It’ll help me bond with my brothers better.”

“But we were supposed to live together.” The two of your agreed quite early in the semester that you would live together in one of the on-campus apartments. This news comes to you as a shock, since he’s never mentioned wanting to live on Greek Row, until now. 

“I just want to try it out for a year, baby. When we’re juniors, we can find our own place off campus, so we can do whatever we want.” He pulls you closer, kissing your forehead. “Everything is going to work out, okay? You can wait a year, right?”

Of course you can wait; that’s what he asks you of, so you’ll do it. But you don’t want to. You had all these exciting ideas laid out in your head: cooking meals together, relaxing on the couch in each other’s arms, being alone without worrying about parents or roommates barging in on the two of you. Being together all the time. 

“Coco, say something.”

It’s easy to get upset. Make a fuss and yell at him for being selfish. Simultaneously, you feel guilty for thinking this way, like you’re the bad girlfriend for disagreeing with it. For wanting him all to yourself.

“Okay,” you finally respond. “I’ll ask Annie if she wants to live together again, I guess.” It’s a compromise for the sake of making him happy. Because more than anything, you want him to be happy. 

He smiles, kissing you on the lips. “You’re the best, you know that? I don’t know what I would do without you.”

You wake up, back in your own bed, Annie’s soft snores filling the quiet of the room. A quick glance at your phone shows you it’s only 4 AM in the morning. It’s been a few days since you dreamt about Reiner, a new record since the break-up. Still, whenever you do, it hurts as much as it did the first night. 

He never warned you about wanting to move into the fraternity house. It came out of nowhere, a total and complete blindside, much like when he broke up with you. He’s been this way for a while, making rash decisions and springing it on you without a mention of it beforehand. You always end up going along with it, forcing yourself to accept it without disagreement. You never could stand up for yourself, thinking it was less hassle to bend for him than to argue about it. When you’re with someone for so long, the easy road seems the obvious choice, compared to one that has bumps and cracks along the way. But just because it’s easy, doesn’t mean it’s better; it doesn’t always lead you to the right destination. And maybe that’s why you are where you are now: lost. 

It’s been almost two weeks since you saw him on that rainy day. Two weeks since he sent you that text message, which remains unanswered. There’s been moments where you stared at the screen, fingers ghosting the keyboard, wanting to send him a reply. Somehow, you’ve resisted those temptations. In the end, it’ll only lead to more heartache. The memories haven’t kept you up at night as much as it did before. Thankfully, your sleep schedule is back to normal, except for nights like this. You’re doing better each day. Annie’s two words to you are on constant loop in your head: Baby steps. Any progress, no matter how little or big, is still progress. As long as you don’t go backwards into a downward spiral.

Later in the week, Annie extends an invitation to eat dinner at one of the sorority houses on campus, Mu Phi. Hitch, a close friend, is a sister who currently lives there. As you approach Greek Row with your roommate, you look at the Delta Delta house right next door, wondering if Reiner is there, working as their hasher tonight. Possibly flirting with Christa or other sisters that surely find him attractive. You let the insecurities fade as soon as you knock on the door to Mu Phi, soon greeted by Hitch and two other friendly sisters. They lead you into the dining room, chatting about various topics, subtlety sneaking in how great sorority life is, asking if you’ve ever been interested. After all, they are constantly in recruitment mode, which doesn’t bother you. It feels nice to be desired. 

During the meal, the conversations continue. Annie, being the secret gossip she is, mentions the neighbors. You briefly described to her your run-in with Reiner and Christa, so naturally, she’s been curious since. “What’s it like living next to them?”

Hitch replies, “It’s fine. Did you know that Mikasa’s a Delta Delta?”

“Really? She rushed? I guess they can’t be all bad,” Annie muses.

Hitch eyes her with an amused smirk on her face. “Why would you say that? Who’s in there that you don’t like?”

Before Annie can respond, you interrupt, not wanting to spread any unwarranted gossip. “She’s joking. By the way, who’s Mikasa?”

“She’s this girl that attends Annie’s kickboxing class.”

Annie adds, “She’s also our RA’s sister.”

“Eren?”

She nods, confirming. His appearance around the dorms has lessened, possibly because of the upcoming midterms. He is a pre-med major after all, so you’re certain he’s too busy studying to be out and about. You wished you could have seen his face when he received the bag full of Pocky you bought for him, as thanks for sharing his umbrella on that rainy day. “I didn’t know he has a sister.”

“She’s adopted, from what I heard,” Hitch comments. “But they’re super close. Her, Eren, and Armin.”

At that third name, you glance at Annie, a slight blush creeping on her cheeks. She had a class with Armin last semester, and they were paired up for a big project. From then on, your roommate has been smitten with him, but she’ll never admit it out loud. You also recognize the name as one of Reiner’s pledge brothers from the same fraternity, though you’ve never met him personally. Knowing he’s close to Eren already gives you the impression that he’s a nice guy. 

The dinner ends with a tour of the house, not including the exclusive sleeping porch on the top floor, where all the sisters are forced to slumber beside each other. Right outside the entrance, you, Hitch, and Annie talk for a little while longer until your roommate announces, “My shift at the library is starting, so I have to leave now. Thanks for dinner Hitch!”

The three of you say your goodbyes, Hitch waving farewell from the door, you and Annie parting ways in opposite directions. It’s a clear sky tonight, the moon glowing brightly in the vast darkness, littered with barely visible stars. You take your time walking, enjoying the pleasantly cool air, admiring the other houses along Greek Row. From behind, a familiar voice calls out to you. “Coco.”

Before you face him, you curse under your breath, aware of exactly who it is. You find Reiner several feet away from you, presumably from the Delta Delta house. His fraternity is in the opposite direction, so he must have spotted you from afar, maybe heard you talking outside. You stand in place, waiting for him to catch up to you, ambushed. 

“Hey,” he says, with a sheepish grin.

You nod stiffly, unsure what to do next. It’s too late to make a run for it. Impossible to turn back the clock and sprint your way across campus. You should have known better, especially when you already assumed he’d be working there tonight. It doesn’t matter now; you’re trapped. 

“Are you heading back to your dorm?” he asks, hands in his pockets. 

You nod once more, voice stuck in your throat, unable to speak. 

“I’ll walk with you.” It’s not a question or a suggestion. It’s final. He’s determined to do it. 

Reluctant, you let him, pivoting on your heel towards the direction of your dorm, remaining silent. He stays beside you, hands in his pocket, glancing at you hesitantly. “What were you doing at Mu Phi?”

So he did notice you first. Eyes focused on the ground, you answer, “Hitch invited us for dinner.”

“Christa also invited you, remember? To the Delta Delta house.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” You don’t mean to sound venomous; well, maybe you do. Why bother bringing that up?

“I’m just reminding you. She’s really nice, you know.”

You snap, annoyed and frustrated. “Yes, Reiner, I’m sure she is very nice. That’s why I think she’d understand why I refuse to go to that house for dinner.”

“Because of me?” 

“Of course it’s because of you!”

He sighs, scratching his arm excessively. Something he does when he’s anxious. “I don’t understand why you’ve been ignoring me. I thought we agreed to be friends. You won’t even respond to my texts. How am I supposed to know that you’re okay?”

“Okay? You want to know if I’m okay? Reiner, I haven’t been okay since the day you broke up with me.” 

“That’s why I’m trying to talk to you.”

You scoff, blood boiling. “You’re the last person I want to talk to. You’re the reason I’m not okay. You broke my heart.” It’s a cheap shot to blame him, but that’s what you do. Fire everything in your arsenal to defend yourself, to hurt him.

His expression turns sullen at your harsh words. “I couldn’t be your boyfriend anymore. It’s fucked up, I know. But I did what I thought was right. I didn’t want to string you along.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me you were feeling this way? Why didn’t you talk to me about it? We tell each other everything. Why keep this away from me?” 

He chews on his lip, nervous. “I was scared, okay? Really scared to lose you. I thought if I started talking about it, you’d break up with me and hate me forever. I wasn’t ready for that.”  

You process this, not sure how you truly feel about it. On the one hand, you understand the fear of losing the most important person in your life. That’s what you two are to each other. Well, were. On the other hand, it isn’t fair that he makes decisions when he’s ready. What about you?

You arrive outside your dorm building, standing feet away from each other, your arms crossed over your chest, protecting your heart. When you don’t respond, he continues. “I care about you, Coco. You’re my best friend. You’re the most important person in my life.”

 “You say that now, but eventually, somebody else will come along. Then what?”

Quietly, he replies, “I don’t know.”

You have to stand up for yourself. Hit him with the bitter truth even if it makes him uncomfortable. You’ve gone far too long agreeing to what he wants, following his plan, sacrificing your sanity to protect him. You don’t owe him anything. He decided to dump you when he was ready. That gives you free reign to do the same. “I don’t want to be a placeholder for whenever the next person comes along. Do you understand how painful that is? To know I’m temporary? I can’t be the most important person in your life. Not like this. That’s why we can’t be friends.” 

He stares at you, dumbfounded that you won’t concede to him. Disappointed that he can’t get what he wants this time, after so many years of doing so. This is what it’s like to have control, to stick up for yourself. Maybe there is some good to come out of this breakup. 

After a while, Reiner speaks, voice trembling, eyes glistening. “You can’t do this to me, Coco. I still…I still love – ”

“Don’t say it. Do not fucking say it.” You cover your ears, as if that will prevent your brain from finishing the rest of that sentence in your head. 

“I mean it, though. No matter what happens between us. I want you in my life.”

“Why is everything about what you want? Have you ever considered what I want?” You begin to pace back and forth on the pavement, arms jittery, increasingly erratic. 

A little louder now, a tinge of arrogance in his tone, he says, “We’ve known each other our whole lives. Pretty sure I have a good idea about what you want.”

“Well, you don’t. It’s different now. You don’t know me just as much as I don’t know you.”

“How can you say this right now? You’re just going to throw us away?!”

“You did it first!” you yell at him, tears streaming down your cheeks.

He steps towards you, hands in a desperate prayer, begging. “I don’t want to lose you. Please, Coco. I need you. I need you.” It’s the magic words that he so expertly chants to you. The ones that tug at your heartstrings, make you weak in the knees. And for a second, you consider taking everything back. Reach out and hold him, forget about the pain you’ve suffered these past two months and agree to be friends. Because you’d do anything to see him happy again. For this to be a long nightmare and to wake up together, perfectly back to normal.

But you don’t. And only because the entrance to your building suddenly swings open, revealing Eren at the door, inspecting the scene with a concerned expression on his face. “Is everything okay out here?”

Reiner glares at him for the interruption. “Who are you?”

Eren steps towards you, glancing at you and Reiner. “I’m Eren, the RA for this building. Heard some yelling and thought I should check it out.” 

“Reiner is leaving now,” you murmur, avoiding Eren’s gaze, embarrassed. “I’m sorry for the commotion.” You turn to head inside, not bothering to wave goodbye to your ex, who stands there, watching you. Eren follows, sneaking glances at Reiner before swiping his ID at the door to let you both in.

“Coco,” he calls out. “Please.”

You ignore him, wiping your tears with the back of your shaky hands, listening to the door shut behind you. 

“Are you okay?” Eren asks, voice calm.

You face him, forcing a weak smile, eyes still wet. “Perfectly fine.” You turn to hurry into your room, overwhelmed and wanting to hide in the safety of your bed forever. 

Before you can, he grabs you gently by the hand, thumb brushing your knuckles. “If you ever need to talk or anything, my door is always open for you.”

You mutter a timid, “Thank you,” then rush down the hall and into your room, heart pounding against your chest. His comforting words replay in your head, trying to replace all that was said between you and Reiner.  

~~~

At the end of the week, Eren hosts a game night in the common room of the dorm building. He’s excited to bond with his residents with pizza from his favorite local Italian joint and some good old-fashioned Mario Kart. He lays the food out on the table and sets up his Nintendo console to the TV, the familiar opening sequence playing on the screen. Then, he patiently waits for his first guest. Fifteen minutes pass and still no one shows up. Where is everybody? 

At the thirty-minute mark, he lays down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. The pizzas are surely lukewarm now, and the same tune playing on the TV is starting to grate on his ears. He texts Mikasa and Armin, complaining about the complete lack of attendees. Immediately, he gets a call from his sister. When he picks up, she states, “Eren, nobody is there because it’s the Friday night after midterms.”

“So?”

“People are getting ready to party. That’s what I’m doing, that’s what Armin is doing. That’s what everyone is doing.” 

Someone in the background yells, “Tell him to come out with us!” It’s Sasha’s voice. 

He groans, realizing his mistake. “I’m such an idiot.”

“You’re not. Just come out with us. You deserve a break.”

He considers it for a few seconds, before he replies, “Thanks, but I’m gonna head to bed.”

Sasha boos him. “C’mon, Eren! Join us! It’ll be fun!”

“I’m tired, Sash. Next time.”

Believing she can’t be heard, she whispers to Mikasa, “He always says that.” Well, she’s not wrong. 

Eren bids farewell to his friends, wishing them fun tonight. He lays on the couch for a while longer, trying to not to be too devastated at this failure of an event. Finally standing up, he heads to the table to begin packing.

“Am I too late?”

He turns around, surprised by her voice. The resident from down the hall, Room 104. The girl he’s seen cry at least three times now, the most recent being earlier in the week, outside the dorms. A small confrontation with the guy who Eren assumes is her ex, the cause behind all the tears. He was hoping to run into her soon, to check if she’s doing alright. He’s delighted to find her standing in the doorway, a small smile on her face. 

“Hey,” he greets, waving at her. She steps towards him, inspecting the plethora of food on the table. He rubs the back of his neck, embarrassed. “You’re the first person to show up, so we have plenty of food.”

She gives him a sympathetic look, opening the pizza box to grab a slice. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

He grins. “Hey, you’re here, aren’t you? That’s all that matters to me.”

As she settles in on the couch with her food, she explains, “I would have come earlier, but I was helping Annie get ready for a party.”

Eren takes the seat beside her, dropping a piece of pepperoni into his mouth. “I guess everyone really is going out tonight,” he muses, recalling what Mikasa told him earlier. 

“Well, not everyone,” she reminds him, smiling. His chest swells with warmth seeing this side of her. Eyes free of tears, cheeks rounded with happiness, relaxed in his presence. He secretly resents Reiner, or whatever that guy’s name is, for putting her through all the misery she’s had to suffer. 

They eat their pizza, chatting about arbitrary topics like favorite toppings, best local restaurants around the town, even a silly bet about who will beat who in a race. The upbeat melody of the Mario Kart intro still playing in the background is no longer annoying now that Eren has company. 

One box only halfway finished, they wipe their hands clean of pizza grease to start the game, picking their favorite characters. Eren always opts for Yoshi, because of course he’s got to get the green dinosaur. She selects Toad, going on about how adorable she finds him, doing a decent impersonation of his high-pitched, bouncy voice, causing Eren to bust out laughing. They race, moving their bodies along with their controllers, bumping elbows and shoulders with bright smiles on their faces. She nudges him in the ribs when he tosses a red shell at her, knocking her off the course to take first place. He taps her knee with his when he slips on a banana peel she strategically lays out for him. It’s competitive, but not serious, both of them gloating and teasing one another at their victories. After going through most of the courses, they play battle mode, teaming up together to destroy CPUs on the most difficult levels. 

After exhausting most of the game to their heart’s contents, Eren checks his phone, shocked that it’s already past 11 o’clock. He glances at her, checking if she’s ready to leave once they shut down the game. She remains beside him, her attention focused on the piano in the corner of the room. Pointing at it, she asks, “We have a piano in here?”, clearly never noticing it before.

He chuckles. “Yeah we do. Do you play?”

She shakes her head, standing up to approach it, sitting on one side of the bench. He follows her, taking his place next to her. It’s only now that he realizes how close they’ve been all night. His heart starts to beat faster for some reason. 

Finger at a key, she presses on it, filling the room with a very out-of-tune C-note. “Do you play?” she asks.

“Not much, just the basics really. I’m better at guitar.”

“Acoustic?”

“Electric,” he answers, resting his hand on the piano, hovering his fingers over a chord.

“Electric guitar is so cool. I’d love to hear you play sometime.” It’s an innocent suggestion. But for whatever reason, Eren is shy about the idea of her being inside his room, watching him play his guitar. And for a split second, he imagines what other activities they can do with each other, in the privacy of his bedroom. He catches himself, mentally waving away the potentially inappropriate thoughts. 

Desperate to change the subject, he suggests, “Want me to teach you something?”

She nods, eager to learn. He starts his thumb on a C-note. “This is a C-major scale. It starts here,” he presses down, wincing at how out of tune it is. “And then you follow through with the rest of your fingers. That’s a very basic scale, without complicating it too much.”

She does it easily, smiling at the keys in front of her. “Now can you teach me Moonlight Sonata?” she jokes. 

He laughs. “How about Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star instead?”

“Fine,” she says, fake pouting. She’s really cute.

By midnight, she’s perfected the lullaby, enough for the two of them to sing along to it. Even with the notes out of tune, it’s still pleasant to listen to. He then shows her how to play the easiest version of Heart & Soul, a fun duet they manage to practice together within the hour. She’s a quick learner, which he appreciates. After their performance, she looks at him, smiling. “You’re a really good teacher.” 

He brushes his fingers along the keys. “That was my dream job growing up. I always wanted to be a teacher.”

“A music teacher?”

“No, an elementary school science teacher,” he admits. “Thought it’d be so cool to blow their minds with little experiments or facts about the living things.” He stares distantly, a longing grin on his face, fantasizing an imaginary world where he’s pursuing a career he enjoys. 

“So, what made you want to become a doctor instead?” 

At this point, he’s speaking candidly, no longer worried about hiding the truth. He’s comfortable with her. “My dad. He’s a doctor, and it’s pretty much expected of me.”

“Are you enjoying it so far?”

“No, but at the end of the day, I’ll be helping people. And that’s what matters right?” 

There’s a small pause in the conversation as she pushes on one of the keys, the note ringing out in the temporary quiet. “Teachers help people too. More than what society gives them credit for. And besides, no one wants to go to a doctor who isn’t happy being a doctor, right?”

He faces her, processing her statement. “I guess I never thought about that.”

She continues, drumming her fingers lightly on the piano. “You shouldn’t force yourself to do something you don’t want to. If there’s anything I’ve learned these past few months, it’s that forcing yourself to be happy doesn’t actually make you happy. It’s silly to say that out loud, like it’s so obvious. But I’ve made a lot of excuses, pretending I was fine with decisions made on my behalf without my feelings being considered. It was always easier to go along with it, avoid confrontation or an argument. But at what cost? Sacrificing my own happiness? It isn’t worth it, especially when it’s your life that you’re living, nobody else’s.”

This is about her ex. There’s a strong urge to ask her about it, offer a lending ear to listen to what else is on her mind. But he doesn’t question it further. The words she speaks to him resonate. Although they’re both going through different struggles in their lives, she understands him better than he expects her to. Maybe more than anyone in his circle of friends right now. 

“I have a friend who’s an education major. Erwin Smith. His dad is also a teacher. I can give you his contact info if you want to talk to him?” she offers.

“I don’t know,” he responds hesitantly. He’s never considered changing his major. He can already picture the faces his father makes, disdainful and disappointment at his son “downgrading” his career. 

“It doesn’t hurt to have it, right? Just in case?” 

He thinks about it carefully before he eventually relents, whipping his phone out to type out the information she recites to him. She’s right; it doesn’t hurt to have it. It doesn’t mean anything. 

Phone still in his hand, he abruptly blurts out, “We should exchange numbers.” Almost instantly, he regrets it, aware at how inappropriate that would be. But when she grins at him, nodding, he’s immediately relieved. 

“I’m assuming this will be your personal number and not your RA emergency line?” she smirks.

Laughing, he confirms, “Yes, my personal number. I, um, enjoyed hanging out with you tonight. We should definitely do this again.” He passes her his phone as she does the same. 

“You’re teaching me Moonlight Sonata next, remember?” she jokes, tapping her number into his screen.

“Yeah, of course.”

She slips her phone back into her pocket. “Also, if you ever need someone to talk to or listen to you, I’m just down the hall.”

“Hey, that’s supposed to be my line,” he teases, nudging her elbow with his. 

“Well, you’ve helped me out way more than you know, so I want to do the same for you. Rely on me, okay? We’re friends now.”

Outside the room, students begin to stumble through the hall, back from their night of partying. Eren checks his phone, surprised to read 1:35 AM on the screen. “It’s already past 1. I’m sorry for keeping you up.”

“Don’t be. I wanted to be here with you. Thank you for hosting this.”

“Thank you for being the only person to show up.” 

They gaze at each other, smiling. He wants to stay like this a little while longer, but he knows it has to end. At least, for tonight. They’re friends now, and he’ll be able to enjoy that warm, vibrant smile more often, he hopes. 

“Anyways, we should probably sleep soon,” she suggests, glancing at the pizza boxes on the table. “I’ll help you clean up.”

“Thanks. Maybe we can hand some of these out. I bet someone out there has the munchies right now.”

She giggles. “Great idea, Mr. RA.”

They tidy up, clearing the room of trash and putting away the video game console back in Eren’s knapsack. She carries it with her while Eren balances the pizzas in his hands, offering a box to the passing residents that are not-so-discreetly drunk. By the time they make it to his room, he’s only got one left, deeming the event an overall success. Especially now that he’s made a friend from it. 

She sets the bag down on the floor, watching him unlock the door. “I guess this is goodnight,” she says, giving him a small wave as she begins to step backwards down the hall, facing him.

“Yeah. I guess it is. Sweet dreams, okay?”

“Sweet dreams, Eren,” she repeats, turning on her heel to walk to her room. 

~~~

You lay in bed, listening to Annie’s drunken snores beside you, mind focused on your new friend Eren. Snuggling closer to your pillow, you smile to yourself, happy for the first time in what feels like forever. It’s the most fun you’ve had this semester, and most importantly, it’s the longest you’ve gone without sulking about Reiner. 

It’s in this moment that you realize the baby steps you’ve taken so far don’t seem so small anymore. Things are finally starting to look up. 

Taglist:

@batafuraikisu @bloompompom @monirei @filunara @katestrophes @ichinosejager13 @hoperenae @zellskz @e-ayyy @liliorsstuff-blog @maliakealoha @holdmeclosebutdontloveme @chrollohearttags @sailorputa @squickkk @dnyllmh @hellomeow12 @s-cream-ing @potofstewie @conniesbbymama @erzascarlett28 @lem-hhn @roronoazorosbxtchh @ichigostrawberry15 @rhaelrence @lilshades @bigmoodyjoody @icansmellsouls @aangsupremacy @ashsauroras @bakuhoes-bxtch @mrs-wolfwood @si-kamo @jmtherula @imaddicted-b @monkemanjeager @neesiewrote @large-juice @chiinni @belovedackerman

[justagalwhowrites]

Beautiful from New in Town definitely becomes a massive Longhorns fan after a while.

She gets so into the games now, she spots things in the game before the boys. She argues with them about referee decisions and draft picks.

Joel is so turned on by the whole thing. When isn’t he though?

Whenever Joel tells her how much he loves it she just says “oh i had this really handsome guy show me the ropes at a game a while back” smirking.

AHHH BESTIE!

OH THIS IS FULLY CANON NOW OK??? 110% CANON.

Also I've been watching college football with my husband all day so I couldn't not write this.

LOVE YOU!

Game Time

You watch the Longhorns game with your fiance Joel. A New in Town one shot.

We are going to pretend that Joel is yelling Hook 'em in this GIF, OK? Ok.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader (from New in Town)

Warnings: SMUT :D. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only

Length: 1.6k

“Oh come ON!” You were on your feet, yelling so loud at the TV that your throat was starting to hurt. Your fingers were so tight to the bottle of Shiner in your hand that you could feel the pressure of the glass on your nails. “What the fuck was that?” 

“What?” Tommy asked, still on the couch and already recovered from the brief disappointment from the Longhorns not able to keep Oklahoma from converting on a third down when they were still in their own territory. 

“That missed holding call!” You looked down at him and back at the TV. “Our guy was trying to turn and he couldn’t and they just let it happen, no laundry, nothing. What the fuck! Such bullshit.” 

You flopped back down on the couch with a huff, shaking your head as Joel looked at you, an amused expression on his face. 

“Don’t know what you’re so happy about,” you took a sip of beer. “They should be back 15 yards between that penalty and yards gained on that down. I swear if they score on this drive…” 

You’d become a college football fan since you’d gone to the first game with Joel and Tommy two years earlier. Part of it, you were sure, was because that first game would always be a glowingly happy memory for you. It was the first time you’d told Joel you loved him and the first time he said it to you in return, after all. The fact that you hadn’t even known what a down was before the kickoff hadn’t mattered. 

But Joel had also lovingly, patiently explained the game to you as it all unfolded on the field below and you absorbed it all. You’d always been a quick study and it helped that Joel loved the game, getting so excited about it that the happy look on his face anytime the Longhorns came up was plenty of encouragement to learn. 

You watched the game every Saturday with Joel and Tommy - and sometimes Sarah, too, now that she was back in Austin - and you quickly had a good grasp of the sport and the players. You kept your phone close so you could Google terms you didn’t know if Joel was too absorbed for you to want to ask him. You had a player roster pulled up at the start of the game so you could match the numbers on the screen to the person and their position. 

It had quickly gone from something you did because your then-boyfriend, now-fiance loved it to something you loved, too. 

“It looks like there was a missed holding call there,” one of the commentators said as the replay went on, rewinding again and playing it. “Right there…” they circled it on the screen and Tommy laughed. 

“Shit, Joel, your girl knows more about football than the refs do!” 

“Low fuckin’ bar this game,” you muttered and Joel took your unoccupied hand, pulling it to his mouth to press a kiss to the inside of your wrist. You frowned, looking at him. “What?” 

He smiled and laughed a little. 

“What, a man’s not allowed to kiss his fiancee now and then?” 

You were about to reply when play started again and you got distracted. 

You were glued to the TV until the half and Joel excused himself. You were checking your email when you got a text from Joel. 

“Come to the bedroom,” it said. “Need help with something.” 

You frowned and set your empty beer down before calling to Tommy in the kitchen to ask him to grab you another and going to find Joel. 

“What do you…” you asked as you closed the bedroom behind you, but Joel didn’t give you a chance to finish. He grabbed you and pulled you into him, kissing you firm and deep, his tongue delving into your mouth. You opened for him, your arms going around his neck as you pressed yourself against him until you were breathless and separated from him. “ What’s this…” 

“Couldn’t not fuck you after hearin’ you talk about football like that,” he panted, voice needy. “One of the hottest damn things I’ve ever heard come out of that pretty mouth of yours…” 

He pulled you further into the room and you half-heartedly tried to take your hand back as he did. 

“Joel!” You hissed. “Tommy’s here! Sarah’s coming over for the second half and…” 

“Better be quick, then,” he said, tugging you to be in front of your dresser, a large mirror standing on the back of it. He shoved your skirt up around your waist and tugged your panties down, leaving them to fall to the floor once they were to your knees. He took you by the waist and put you on top of the dresser, your underwear going from around your ankles to off you completely. 

“Joel, this is going to be the damn BBQ all over again!” You protested as he ran a finger over your already wet slit. “You know we can’t be quiet…” 

“Tommy can deal,” he said, sliding a finger into you and you moaned, dropping your head to his shoulder. “You really gonna tell me you don’t want this?” 

His thumb brushed your clit and you shuddered against him. 

“No,” you panted. “But I swear if your brother hears us…” 

“Better be quiet and quick then,” he said, unzipping his jeans and freeing his thick length. You spread your legs wide and looked down to where Joel was trailing his drooling tip over you. 

“Joel,” you moaned, all quiet and breathy. “Fuck…” 

He slid into you in one swift motion with a satisfied grunt and you gasped at the intrusion, your walls making room for him. 

“Fuck, you feel so fuckin’ good,” he groaned, looking down at where he was buried inside you. “Look so pretty takin’ this cock… Don’t know how I got so lucky, getting a woman who feels this good and looks this good who loves football, goddamn….” 

He started fucking into you then, the thrusts hard and fast and deep. He pushed your thighs open wide and ran his hands up your legs to your center, his thumb brushing your clit. You moaned and he captured your mouth with a bruising kiss, his thumb pressing more firmly against you. 

“Gotta be quieter than that, beautiful,” he panted once he pulled away from your lips again. “Not if you want to keep what I’m doing to you in here to ourselves.” 

You whimpered but kept quiet, your orgasm building fast. Joel knew exactly how to fuck you now, exactly where inside you to touch with his almost punishing rhythm. Your channel started to tighten around him and you keened and pulled yourself up so that your chest was flush against him. His hands moved from your slit to your back, tucking your hips so your clit was pressed against his skin with every stroke. 

“Think you can be quiet if I make you come?” He panted into your ear. You just nodded against him. “Good, because I’m making you come all over me either way, need to feel this tight little pussy come all over me.” 

You pressed your mouth into his shoulder as you moaned, digging your nails into his back as Joel adjusted his angle ever so slightly, finding the best spots deep inside of you, making your body tighten more and more around him, the tension of aching pleasure drawing tighter and tighter until your whole body hurt with it. 

“There you go,” he said, breathless. “C’mon Baby, come on me, want to feel you milk my cock, you’re so close, just come for me, come all over me.” 

Your mouth was flush against his shoulder as you came with a desperate moan. Joel thrust deep and held himself inside as your sex fluttered and pulsed around him.

“Fuck you feel so fuckin’ good,” he groaned. “Gonna fill you up, gonna….” 

He clenched is jaw and came, his cock throbbing and pumping his come into you as he clutched you close and tight. 

Joel held you like that for a minute after you both finished and he pulled back just enough to kiss you tenderly as he slid out of you. 

“Stay put,” he ordered, grabbing a towel out of the laundry bin and wiping you clean before slipping your panties back up your legs to your knees. “Already sending you out there looking all fucked out, can’t leave you a mess, too…” 

“I do not!” You protested and he laughed once before nodding to the mirror over your shoulder. You twisted to look at yourself and yeah, your pupils were blown and your lips were swollen from where he’d kissed you to keep you quiet. You looked back at him and leveled him with a glare. “This is all your fault!” 

“Think it’s more yours,” he smiled, like he was trying to keep from laughing. “You’re too damn sexy, talking about football like that.” 

“And I can’t resist you when you proposition me,” you said, sliding off the dresser and tugging your panties up and your skirt down. “One of us needs to learn how to keep their pants on…” 

“Don’t look at me,” he smiled, kissing your temple. “Don’t think I’ll ever be able to resist you.” 

“So we’re doomed,” you sighed but smiled. “Come on, Miller, before we miss the start of the third quarter. We’re receiving and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a hell of an opening drive…” 

“Keep talkin’ like that and we’re not leaving this room,” he said. 

“You’re just going to have to keep it together for the Longhorns’ sake,” you winked. 

He smiled back. 

“I’ll do my best.”

[koudelkas]

REQUESTS ARE OPEN? *jumping in your arms* i’d looove to see you draw lady maria or plain doll again, or any drawings of them that you have that you may not have posted, really. i miss your bloodborne art

*catches you in my arms*

No Doll as of yet but I do have a lady maria I'm working on!!! ever since I upgraded to a pc I've felt myself gaming on my ps4 less so I should go back to it to replay some bloodborne.

I miss those two. Even if sony doesn't care about them, I do... and I'm glad you enjoy them too :-) so maybe I'll draw the plain Doll sometime! she's probably easiest for me to draw bc of how fun her general silhouette is. like a taller babushka doll

[thelureking]

LILIUM'S 2024 GAME LIST:

Welcome, one and all! To the moment you have all not been waiting for: The list I do to remember what games I played and when! As before: This is not a ranking, the games are in order of when I played/finished them. Sometimes I don't have much to say, but that doesn't mean I didn't like it! Sometimes words dont come as easily with some games than with others. Sometimes, even talking about them risks spoilers!

(And it also goes without saying that recommendations are more than welcome)

This year I finally got to use my old Xbox 360 again, so you may see some console games besides the good old steam and ichio indie ones.

Now that the introduction is out of the way! Lets begin!

1) NieR (GESTALT)

 Yes, that's a fishing mini game as the gameplay screenshot. This is the only screenshot that didn't have spoilers, or wasn't from Replicant. I couldn't get a screenshot from my own playthrough. I have failed all of you. 

 Before Automata took over the world, there was Gestalt. Or Replicant, if you were Japanese and had a PS3. In the version I was able to play, you play as a man trying to find a cure for his daughter's illness, all while inhabiting a world under the constant threat of Shades.

 I have not yet looked at all the supplementary material that came out with the Replicant Remake, and I do not know how this game fits into its series, since I can't play Automata and I know nothing about it, so I’ve judged it and interacted with it through its own merits, and everything that was presented in the game itself.

 Gameplay wise, I don't think this game is anything special. If you’ve played an action game or a hack and slash, you know what you are getting into. The rest of the game? The spectacle? Breathtaking. Soundtrack? Amazing. The story…

 Man, the story. What can I even say about it that isn't a spoiler? Well, I can say this much: It is good. Yeah, that's it. I do not want to describe it more, I will not talk about the themes it has and how well executed they are. I will not, because I do not want the story to be spoiled for anyone. It is good, more than good even. 

 Characters, however, I will talk a small amount: Kainé and Emil are my favourites, I love them. I already miss them and by the time of writing this, I beat the game yesterday. Nier (what I chose to name the protagonist) is my favourite caveman of all time, and I never got tired of his banter with Weiss as I dragged him along to do any side quest that appeared in front of me, much to his chagrin.

 I almost lost my mind playing the last half of the game (you may know what I mean if you played it. Lets just say I did three certain things all back to back. On the same day. Yeah I don't know why either). I have never felt more like Sisyphus in my entire life, and I am now concerned for who I was twenty four hours ago as of writing this. 

 Don't be like me, please game responsibly. 

2) Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock

 Listen. I actually beat this game twice. Once on the PS2 when I was like twelve. The other when I was sixteen on the Xbox 360. 

 And now, I’ve beaten it again. “Why, then?” you ask, “Why put it in this list if you’ve already beaten it not once, not twice, but now three times?” Because, my dear poor soul that has chosen to read this list: My Xbox chose to betray me in the most brutal way possible: It ate my save file. That's right: not corrupted, not deleted. ATE. Because such cruelty is not that of an object, but of a beast that breathes and thinks treacherous thoughts.

 So, seeing that show of disrespect, I did what any person of sound mind would have done, and did the entirety of the Career mode. All in one sitting. It hurts to type. 

 And that's why this game is in this list, even if by logic of replays, Bayonetta should be here at least twice in this list, and three times between the other two. Because of WHY I had to replay it. 

(Please game responsibly, I said as this is the next entry. The hypocrisy of it all!)

3) Halo Reach

Listen, I am not a Halo fan. The only Halo game I've played before this one was 3, and I don't think it counts since I played it all in one sitting with my cousin, and we were so sleep deprived it took us a literal hour trying to find the exit of a map. We had to google it. I don't even remember what the game was about. And aside of games, the only contact with anything Halo related I've ever had is Red vs Blue and Guard Duty. So yeah, I hope that makes it clear where I stood when I started playing the game.

I do not have much experience with shooters, at least not any that arent Bioshock, so I cant really say anything about the gameplay that stood out to me. Story wise, I already knew what the game was about and how it ended, that was basically the reason why I even chose to play it in the first place, but knowing how the story would develop didn't take away from the emotional impact of those moments. I think it was a good game, with a good story. I think my main complain is that there were no subtitles, which I found really weird, so I had to have the volume all the way up to be able to listen to anything anyone was saying while the entire chaos was going on. And also, Kat, I love you, but I struggle to understand your accent at times. I am so sorry queen.

4) Contrition

"As a priest, it’s your job to listen to your parishioners’ darkest secrets and absolve their guilt. But when a sinister stranger comes to the confessional one Halloween night, you realize it’s your soul on the line." That is whats stated in the game's description, and I honestly couldn't put it in any other way.

The atmosphere is intense, the build up of tension with every single sentence, every dialogue exchanged between the protagonist and this unknown figure cloaked in anonymity and darkness. It is a fantastic experience, and it accomplished everything it set up to do in such a small amount of time.

5) FNAF: Into The Pit

Listen, I've been into FNAF since the first game came out, I've been in this hellhole long enough to know and remember every theory, every change, and every book release and how they were received. This game is the best adaptation of Into The Pit we could have gotten. And it's good.

This game is about Oswald, a kid that after being left in a pizzeria by his father, chooses to hide inside a decommissioned ball pit, through which he will travel in time to the year 1985, to a location named "Freddy Fazbear's Pizza". You play through five days and nights, constantly shifting between the past and the present, in an effort to save yourself and others. All while avoiding the dangerous creature that followed you home.

I was afraid that the gameplay loop of going back and forth between the present and the past was going to get tiresome, but I am glad to say that it didn't. I think its mostly because you aren't in the present for long, so you don't get a long sense of safety because sooner rather than later you are going back into the pit. And the night sections were perfect in ramping up the tension, having to break out of your own house while trying to escape the thing that took your father's place, and you can never use the same escape plan twice.

The sprite work is some of the best I've ever seen. The level of detail, the fluidity of the animations, both in character sprites and cut-scenes, they are all amazingly done. But what stood out to me the most was the sound design: I need to look at the credits again, because whoever was in charge deserves to be praised from here to eternity. The sounds of ragged breaths and outright animalistic groans coming from the Creature will forever be ingrained in my head! I love it! It really drove home that this thing was not human. Mega Cat Studios really outdid themselves. This was supposed to be a short cartridge game! I'm really glad they went ham with the concept and were able to develop it to this degree.

7) A Date With Death

Well hello there, you handsome reaper. This VN is about the Grim Reaper struggling to claim your soul, and so you both make a bet that if he doesn't manage to do so by the end of the week, you'll claim his soul and keep living. It is your job on these seven days to tease and fluster this man like you are getting paid by the hour. Honestly, the man is after your soul, might as well take his heart!

The dynamic between us the player and the Reaper is really funny, and honestly there are so many moments I could talk about, but I'll let the game speak for itself in that regard if it raises any interest. The writing is gold, the presentation is extremely good, and honestly, I can't wait for that sweet DLC.

UPDATE: I have played the DLC. I need to be put down like a dog.

8) These Heavenly Bodies

On an excavation site, three angel statues are found, and when they are scanned it is revealed that they have preserved bodies within them. The church has decided to investigate further, and you are the priest they assigned this task to.

This is a short yet effective one. The sound design and low resolution visuals affect the atmosphere and tension in a way that I love a lot. Every day that passed, every small change in the hallway leading to the lab, every second scanning those Angel's innards, I could feel a tension inside myself growing, and growing. It really gave the feeling that you were studying something you shouldn't, that that flesh and bone and nerves inside the marble was never supposed to be seen.

Or maybe, it was waiting for one of you to find them. Maybe it was all according to plan.

9) Dialtown: Phone Dating Simulator

Hi, hello there! Have you ever thought that you needed more characters with objects for heads in your life? Me too! Introducing: Dialtown, a phone dating simulator in which you, a green goblin who refuses to integrate into society, needs to find a bachelor/bachelorette to invite to the funfair and experience the most important event of Valentine's Day: laying eggs in a damp, dark hole! Who said romance is dead, huh?

For those who don't know, I love the visuals of putting objects in place of people's heads. I loved it in Clash: Robot Detective, and I loved it here too.

Besides feeling like crack concentrated in the best way possible, the writing is amazing. I absolutely love how you can be giving your narrator an aneurysm about the most absurd of topics, and then have the most moving scene in the entire route. And it doesn't leave me feeling with tonal whiplash! At least of the bad kind! If that makes any sense.

But for real, the writing is phenomenal, and I cant complement it enough. The tone is as balanced at it is erratic, and yet the more heartfelt moments do not feel out of place. I cannot understand how this was done, but I can recognize a talented hand when I see one. Good job, sir Dog! You have mastered an art form that many people *think* they can do, and they fail miserably.

I will also praise the amount of flavour text in the game, the amount of dialogue choices that may not be mandatory to progress the story, but that are there to flesh out the world or just be plain funny. That is something I will always love when its implemented.

I did not manage to get the DLC, but I cant wait to be able to buy it sometime in the future, hopefully.

10) Slay The Princess

You have been tasked to slay the princess, to protect the world from her. You need to slay her, or else.

Now. This is the type of game I love. The ones that cannot exist outside their medium. The ones that look at you dead in the eye and make you feel uncomfortably seen, holding your hand and tearing into your heart as you tear into them. At least, that's how it felt to me.

I don't know how much to talk about it. The game never hides what its going for, and it becomes clear extremely early on, but even so I don't want to spoil people who may want to go into this game completely blind like I managed to do.

What I will say is that there are A LOT of variations for different scenarios, so many I only gave up when I saw how many there were. It is insane. This is a game I would love to gut open and see how it works, it takes so many things into account its unreal. The programming on this must have been such an interesting thing to do.

I actually didn't know the pristine cut was coming out, and I literally found out a month before its release date. But even that wasn't able to take away any enjoyment I felt. Its also something that already happened to me before, when I played Disco Elysium before the Final Cut came out. A real two nickles situation.

Overall, this game is an experience that will grab you and wont let you go even after you finish it. It is intriguing, and captivating. But above all, it is a love story. Never forget that.

11) 3D Workers Island

Made by the creator of Petscop, this simple game tells the story of a screen protector, and how the internet interacts with it. The narrative constructed around this program is filled with thematic elements seen in Tony Domenico's previous works, blurring the line between fiction and reality constantly, to the point where one might struggle to see where one ends and the other begins.

Definitely worth the time, and a second reading too. You may see things you didn't notice before. And watch it all unfold again. That is all you can do.

12) Dead Space (2008)

Man, Issac really became important on his job and it ruined his entire life.

Dead Space is a survival horror game about Issac Clarke, an engineer who suffers from becoming important on his job once he boards the USG Ishimura and finds the crew dead, is split from his coworkers, and twisted abominations crawl through the halls and vents of this sarcophagus, where he'll fight to survive and escape.

I was afraid that the dismembering mechanic was going to be too hard to get used to, but honestly it was the least of my concerns because I was too busy trying to NOT have a heart attack constantly, something this game felt like it set up to do. I did notice once I reached the shooting range minigame that I got way too used to shooting the limbs, so I don't think I should play any other shooter after this one. I might as well just go to the second one straight away before the muscle memory fades. Also, the Plasma Cutter is my best friend of all time and the only weapon I've ever needed in my life.

The USG Ishimura as a setting is unforgettable, and it never had a moment of pure silence, constantly filled with the sound of machinery mixed with the shuffle of the enemies crawling through it. The game did a really good job at communicating how big the ship was, and loved seeing the traces of the people that lived and died there, and not only their corpses, but the recordings, their notes, who was clearly in the known of what was happening and who wasn't, how these conflicts led to their downfall.

The necromorphs are nightmare inducing in design alone, but the way they behave in game is another layer of horror. Their sound design, their movements, hell the way they sometimes blend in with corpses on the floor to get the jump at you! Or when they suddenly pop up from the vents! Or even how they suddenly showed up in the hub areas that I thought were supposed to be safe but apparently not! Because every time I came back to them there was ONE TIME EACH where one of those fuckers was just waiting to attack. I never knew if it was a chance encounter, or a programmed event, but at some point every time I went back to those areas I would be paranoid, because maybe THIS time the enemy would pop up. It did a good job at never letting me feel safe. And don't even get me STARTED on that enemy that refuses to die and I refuse to learn its name out of spite. I thought it was a one chapter thing! But it popped up again once at the end and I honestly think that if I wasn't filled with adrenaline, I would have started sobbing. Literally when it finally died I just had to take a ten minute break because of how hard I was shaking. 10/10, I loved it.

On another note, the level design was outstanding every single time. The spectacle and scale is insane! Every time I was amazed and how bigger each level got in terms of spectacle, but it never sacrificed its horror and suspense, something that I appreciated a lot. Like, you are telling me I get to walk on that asteroid and go to the OUTSIDE of the ship? I think it also helped to make me understand just how massive the ship itself was.

I liked seeing the story unfold, finding out what happened to the crew but most importantly why, and how that develops and affects Issac's struggle for survival. I don't want to say much, and honestly I am STILL processing it, and cant wait to play the second game and seeing how the story continues.

13) Threshold (DEMO)

By the time this list is posted, this game will already be available for purchase. I cannot guarantee that I will be able to play it before then, so the demo is getting included. It is short, but it managed to establish the tone of its setting incredibly well, finishing with a cliffhanger that promises so much more. And I, for one, cant wait to find out where the story will take me.

I am curious of the country based difficulty, and how my country will rank. (I hope its not too hard... oh god, its going to be hard, isn't it?)

14) Mouthwashing

Tragedy struck the Tulpar, and now that is has been crashed into an asteroid, it's crew is trapped inside it with each other, a shipment of mouthwash, and a captain incapable of even providing an answer to a simple question: Why?

Man, what can I say about this game that hasn't been said a thousand times at this point. If you are able to, go through this game blind. Hell, even if you spoil yourself some aspects of the story, you are not ready for the full picture. I sure as hell wasn't.

The artistry in this game is amazing, and even tho I was already familiar with Wrong Organ's previous game, I am happy to see them making a more narrative "clear" project (I do not know how to express this sentiment with other words. If you've played How Fish Is Made, you may understand. Or not). Even if the story takes its own version of obscuring itself, it is incredibly effective.

The amazing cinematography of the scenes, the story unfolding in a non-linear way that is organized in such a way that some questions you didn't know you could have get answered in just the right moment. And the way that it was all always there, you just didn't know where to look. But you'll know they are there on your second playthrough, but that wont change the fact that that's all you can do: look.

(It sure feels like a constant of this year's games, huh)

Just. This is such a good game, I love it.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, you may have noticed, that there is no number 6 entry in the above list. Now, this isn't because I suddenly forgot how to count. No. It is because a beast has its claws on my very soul and refuses to let go, no matter how long I've battled it while writing and edition this post.

And that beast is cringe.

So that's why number six is getting added this far down.

Because I am a coward, and ashamed.

So, with that out of the way: Abandon cringe all ye who enter here

6) Swooning Over Stans

First off: The shame I feel is mine and mine alone, because this visual novel was really good. I am the problem.

I love Gravity Falls. I watched it ten years ago, and I can recognize that it awoke three beasts within me: the beast that loves decoding and analyzing and that it shall never be satisfied, the beast that loves doomed sibling relationships, and the beast that loves old men.

Then the Book of Bill came out, and well, all of those beasts awoke at once. And then this VN fed one specific beast. And man, what a meal it was.

This visual novel had everything I wanted. It was funny, and all jokes aside, both routes are really well written. The people behind it had a good grasp on the characters and what makes them so appealing, staying true to their characterization while putting them in this new context.

Also its Alex Hirsch approved, so, what more do you need?

If you made it this far and are interested in more games I've played, you can check out the 2022 and 2023 lists!

[cerise-angel]

waiting game +18

gator tillman x reader

notes: nothing much just sad smut cause im sad and horny. hope you guys like it 💕

Gator watches you cleaning up the windows of his room, from afar, with the goddamned vape on his mouth, as usual. He knows that his parents dont pay you well enough for the immaculate cleaning you do. He wonders why you do it so perfectly, but then again, he remembers his parents would fire you if the cleaning wasnt spotless. And like you told him once, shit job with shit pay its better than no job and no pay.

Gator assumes youre right, but he doesnt understand really. He doesn't need to. His dad owns the city, and pretty soon Gator will too. He's contemplating whether he should or not go talk to you, remembering the first time you two chatted. Mostly he spoke, talking about how pretty you were to be doing such a nasty job. And how prettier you would look like on his mattress. He said grinning, like he knew you, like he thought he could win you. You stared at him with dead eyes, the gaze on them much similar to the deers he sometimes shot with his father. Made him flinch. "I need this job Gator. And not even you will fuck this for me." He stills replays this phrase on his mind every night, sometimes while touching himself, showing you that you need him, not the job. Sometimes when he had a rough day, he thinks about what you meant, and why he couldnt answer properly, leaving you with a stuttered and whiny "Fuck you."

He stares at you now, unabashedly, hazel eyes greedily tracing the swell of your breasts on the tight tank top. They follow to his favorite part of you, pretty chest and neck glinting with sweat and a bit of sudsy water from the window. When he feels youre about to look at him, he decides to stare at your thighs and ass covered by a pair of black sweatpants. He chuckles, when his eyes stare back up at your face, your eyes angry at him. Before you can say or do anything, he reaches to you, inhaling smoke from the vape and blowing it against the window you just finished cleaning. He leans against the wall, smiling fondly at you.

You sigh, rolling your eyes and catching the bucket with soapy water to clean it again. Gator waits for you to finish, eyeing you greedily, thinking about your soft skin against his, your hands cleaning him with the same focus you clean his house, before blowing a big puff of lychee scented smoke against the glass. He smiles again, like a mischievous kid. Which he is. Again, you sigh, grabbing the yellow sponge from the bucket, ready to clean again. This is not what Gator wants. He wants your attention. He wants you to give him some reaction, to curse at him, to smack his chest so he can hold your arms, press you to the wall and kiss you. But you dont seem willing to play his games today. He hates that.

Huffing, he does the most annoying thing that he can think of and kick the full bucket. The soapy water runs on the wooden deck, that you had cleaned prior. Throwing the sponge at his chest, almost crying from frustration (this is the fourth time this week that Gator decides to taunt you) you snap.

"What is it Gator?"

He looks at you with small eyes, like hes ready for a lecture from his mother. When he doesnt speak, just keep looking at you with his puppy eyes, you groan, walking past him to fetch the kicked bucket. Gator stops you, manly hands grabbing at your sides. You curse at him, too tired for this. He doesnt seem to care, dragging you inside the house, ignoring how you try to fight him, nails digging at his biceps and foot glued to the ground. At his room, he gently releases you, locking the door patiently while you curse and cry at him. He reaches to you, rough hands holding your face before licking your tears. Even though you dont want to, your body betrays you, the whole situation too familiar, you hug him, enjoying his body warm and affection.

"I miss you. I want you. I need you. Please."

Each phrase is punctuated with a sloppy kiss to your lips. You only nod, and he knows that means that you miss him too, that you want him too. His mouth devours you, plump lips caressing every inch of skin they can find. You whine, because you want him to kiss your lips, to taste your spit, and he complies right away. He tastes like peanut butter and artificial lychee flavoring. You dont mind. He tastes like him, and even though it pains you to admit, that is your favorite taste.

"I dont wanna get fired." You mutter while his hands help you to get rid of the tank top.

"You wont. And if you were, that makes it easier for us."

You pull away from him. Again, Gator doesnt understand that you need this job. That being fired wont be good because theres no way in heaven that his parents will let you two stay together. Because he is a Tillman, and you are the cleaning lady. And you know that Gator wont do shit to try to keep you. Not really. He looks at you, searching for what he did wrong, why are you crying and hiding from him again. Gator reaches to you, pulling you to sit in his lap, holding you the way you do when his father shits on his head. With glossy eyes you look up to him.

"I think I love you. Tell me how is that going to make anything easier."

Gator is in shock. He swallows air, heart beat racing, this is everything he wanted to hear from you since the fourth time he kissed your chapped lips. He doesnt know what to say, and you take his silence as a bad thing. Hurting you try to get away from his embrace, before he snaps out of his transe. Gator pulls you back to him, glueing his mouth to yours, a mess of spit and tears. He cant talk, but he can show you. His hands free you from your old bra, pulling your pants off. You help him get out of his pants, pulling them down along with his boxers in a rush. He never stops kissing you. His hand cups your pussy, while the other touches your nipple in a agonizing pace. He licks into your mouth pulling your panties down and plunging two fingers in. You moan softly, trying to rub one of your clothed feet on his dick. He gasps softly, adjusting your feet against him, fucking you faster, kissing your lips so hard that you feel them bruising. Gator quickly takes his fingers off you, replacing them with his swollen cock. He sets a brutal but gentle pace, making sure you feel all of him. Your hands grab at his biceps, his back, his ass, every part of him you can reach. He holds your hands at the top of your head, squeezing them in sync with how your pussy squeezes him. When you come, crying softly on his chest, he smiles proudly. You cradle his chin with both of your hands bringing his lips to yours. He comes eagerly inside you, filling you up, and resting his spent body on top of yours. Your arms and legs are still tangled on his torso, locking him on you. Gator enjoys that, feeling on his skin how much you need him. When you release your grip, he rolls to your side, pulling you to him.

"I can try to make it easier." You decide to believe him for now.

[chibishortdeath]

So, Simon’s Quest gets the mythical fandom status of being “completely unbeatable without a guide”, but I don’t really agree. My source: I never had to use a guide to beat it. I looked up a couple things like the number of days for each ending and not a whole lot else.

I think maybe a lot of people go into it with the idea they’re going to get the best/fastest ending on their first try. While you definitely can technically beat it like that, it’s very much a game that wants to you play it a couple times. It has three endings all with faster times AND it was a game that came out during the era of renting things: it was made to be replayed! Or at least just generally goofed around in—

To be honest, I had more trouble figuring out the blue crystal puzzle than the red. Just having the white crystal out makes platforms appear default, no other input needed. So when seeing a massive expanse of water and no effect just holding out the blue crystal, I thought I was going the wrong way and started trying to fight enemies I could not on the other side of the map 💀💀💀. It took playing it and failing a couple times before I made Simon crouch at the water in confusion and it worked lol. So later on in the game at the infamous Deborah Cliff, I first whipped at the cliff a bit and then crouched because that had worked before. First time I played the game I didn’t even know the hint books existed so I never looked for them. It was an absolutely bizarre experience when I eventually one, especially cause I accidentally pressed a button through the text and missed it 💀💀💀.

But yeah, the gameplay is just trial and error mostly. Talk to a guy, take his advice, turns out he’s lying, oh well that’s known for next run then. Go to a mansion, find out there’s no oak stake seller in this one, damn, guess next time I should get two at that other mansion. And sometimes it’s not even entire runs of the game, if you get in a bad spot, you can reset and try it over :3! It took me a good handful of tries to get the slowest ending, then about exponentially less to get the other two—

All this being said: I can see why a lot of people don’t like this kind of gameplay. In certain contexts, I don’t like having to replay a whole game just to get a better ending (Portrait of Ruin Stella and Loretta battle is kicking my ass but I can’t get myself to just get the bad ending and replay it ughhggg)! It’s grindy, it’s doing the same thing over again, and most people will just prefer being able to straightforwardly beat something. I just like the game cause I saw it as one big puzzle to solve and also enjoyed the grinding and the playing over and over the same way one might like a rogue-like or something like Vampire Survivors if that makes sense???

But yeah anyway whole point is that I didn’t find it to be an unbeatable game. It’s obtuse, it’s vague, it’s mean, and some of that was unintended, but a good 90% was. It’s a weirdly unforgiving but very forgiving game— like it purposefully leads you off track and makes you waste time, but it’s still a game that wants you to beat it—!!!

So, anyway, I’ve been told I should play Dark Souls— 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[whereismywarden]

So after finishing the game last night, here are my initial thoughts on it.

I had fun. I enjoyed it. A LOT. Definitely more than Inquisition.

It's very much a Dragon Age game - with some Mass Effect sprinkled on top of it.

It's a direct sequel to Trespasser (even with the massive time gap there's no denying that), and its storyline is reminiscent of DAO and DAI, although it's structured more like ME2. And there are a lot of emotional beats, not just in Act 3 but during the companions' quests too.

Speaking of companions, they and Rook feel more like friends and family than coworkers, falling more in line with DA2. BioWare did a great job getting me to care about them.

While I missed having three companions in my party, it wasn't as bad as I expected. I just wish enemies wouldn't zero in on Rook so much. It made playing a ranged character a bit difficult at times.

The game puts a lot of emphasis on the background you picked, with sometimes entire conversations that appear to have a faction-specific parallel branch. Interacting with characters from your faction feels a lot like returning to your origin's location in DAO. My only complaint is that my elven Rook appeared to know a lot about the Dalish despite his background suggesting he was city-raised, but that can easily be brushed off.

One of the highlights of the game for me though was how well trans Rook was written! It felt truly affirming, and I loved that you always have a choice: from what their experience with gender is like to whether or not you want to bring up the subject in relevant conversations. And there are multiple trans and non-binary characters throughout the game too. It's not just you and that one blink-and-you'll-miss-them NPC. There are major trans and non-binary characters in this game.

That being said, I found myself thinking way too often that there should have been an imported choice for this or that. And I don't just mean "wow, wouldn't it have been cool if we'd gotten a cameo from so and so?" There are specific lines of dialogue in the game that might invalidate some people's playthroughs!

Also, I now get why some critics claimed BioWare was playing it safe with this game. Historically, they haven't always been great at writing morally grey storylines, but here, it seems they were so afraid of getting some backlash (specifically over their depictions of the elves and probably the Qunari) that they're not even trying anymore. It's not necessarily a bad thing (lord knows some improvement was needed), but it's at times such a 180 from existing worldbuilding that it's pretty jarring.

Though that doesn't stop the game from asking you to make difficult choices. This time, they're just more akin to picking an ice cream flavour rather than "Aunt Mia is allergic to nuts but if I don't give her a pecan pie, Travis will kill my dog."

But again, I can't stress it enough, I loved that initial playthrough, and only time will tell how well that opinion holds up on replay.

[sapphire-weapon]

👻 monster symbolism anon here. That course sounds so cool!

That makes sense that they’re more homages. Like I didn’t entirely think the zombies represented anything but also sometimes coding or symbolism happens anyways. Sooo I figured that whether intentional or not, the zombies still end up representing the same fears they usually do.

But the bosses not having symbolism do make sense. I didn’t think there were any but horror is so steeped in it I thought I just must be missing it.

But the homage thing makes so much more sense considering Evelyn’s final form at the end of re7 is literally the final form of the demon in evil dead 2. It wasn’t even a subtle homage. I love that game because it’s basically an evil dead game. How did I forget that fact 😭

But as for eight I should replay that and look into the symbolism. My brain stops at classic horror archetypes.

We got Frankenstein, we got basically a ghost lady and a creepy doll, werewolves, the creature from the black lagoon, and a witch. Personally I like big lady Dracula and the three daughters, because technically speaking the three vampire ladies/the weird sisters, are never listed as his brides in the Dracula story. They’re just kinda there. And some people do actually think they’re his daughters or sisters. And then she gets to turn into a dragon because she lives in a castle and also Dracula kinda means son of the devil but also it can mean son of the dragon so really it all comes together. And then that’s where my brain stops.

Should have found a way to work a mummy and the phantom of the opera in there Capcom.

so i actually want to tag @friedesgreatscythe in this just because she knows a ton of japanese horror folklore, and the monsters in RE8 aren't just classic monsters.

the whole thing with the beneviento house probably was inspired by the history of japanese ghost marriages -- especially considering, you know. the doll is a bride.

i don't know a whole lot about it, but i do know that it is a thing LMAO to the best of my knowledge (and i could be wrong), this became a thing around the WW2 era when a lot of promised men went off to war and died. the marriage was still expected to happen to honor the promise to the family, but a doll would stand in for the bride in order to marry the deceased.

again, i'm not a super expert on this, and i really don't know RE8 well enough to go through a whole rundown of it in context, but. there's stuff at play in RE8 that goes way beyond classic monsters.

[thirteen-jades]

hi Gamer! :3

1. Games you’re currently playing?

2. Do you like playing with mods?

5. Games you’ve played in the past 12 months that you really enjoyed?

8. A game you played completely blind with no prior knowledge of and enjoyed/loved?

13. A series you’ve enjoyed since your early days of gaming and still enjoy to this day whether it still has games coming out or is one you return to? damn, i wish i'd asked nee-san this one, i missed it earlier...

14. A character you particularly like in the game you’re currently playing?

19. A game you didn’t finish but would like to get back to or restart someday

23. A game ending that’s really stuck with you

32. Game you think you’ll finish next?

35. What's your favorite genre of game?

56.Multi-player or single player?

57. Ask anything you wish!: Games you're looking forward to playing soon?

❤

1. Games you’re currently playing?

OSRS, Ace Combat 4, and Old World are the main ones I think? Also Wartales whenever the GOG and Steam versions sync so we can actually do that again

2. Do you like playing with mods?

I tend to default to not modding things just because for a long time mods never really seemed to work right for me in just about anything I tried to apply them to. I've been doing it more though, and I think they're frequently quite good.

5. Games you’ve played in the past 12 months that you really enjoyed?

Armored Core 6 has to take the #1 spot here I think, but there's a bunch of others too. In no particular order, Old World, Old School Runescape, Ace Combat 4, Age of Empires 2, and... probably a lot of others I'm forgetting. I think I first played Wartales more than a year ago, but I've really been enjoying the recent playthrough again

8. A game you played completely blind with no prior knowledge of and enjoyed/loved?

Dark Souls. That game was an absolute blast, even if I was remarkably bad at it at first. One of the few things that's gotten me so immersed/distracted that I actually forgot to do homework/school-related responsibilities.

13. A series you’ve enjoyed since your early days of gaming and still enjoy to this day whether it still has games coming out or is one you return to? damn, i wish i'd asked nee-san this one, i missed it earlier...

Oh, I'd have to think here. Starcraft was my old favorite for sure, but I've sorta fallen off the train with that one, so to speak. I'm not sure there's much left that I still play from my early days? I think if I had to pick *something* for an answer, it would be Lego Racers. I really liked that as a kid. Should go back and replay them sometime

14. A character you particularly like in the game you’re currently playing?

None of the games I'm currently playing are particularly heavily character-focused I think, unless I'm forgetting one. If we include TTRPGs, then my PC for Skull & Shackles. Otherwise maybe my character's daughter from that one Old World campaign that snuck out of her room three nights in a row to go fuck some other noble family's daughter. I really liked her

19. A game you didn’t finish but would like to get back to or restart someday

There's a lot of them, but Gothic 2 and Planescape: Torment both come to mind

23. A game ending that’s really stuck with you

Mary Skelter 2. You know why

32. Game you think you’ll finish next?

Ace Combat 4 tonight, probably/hopefully!

35. What's your favorite genre of game?

RPGs, particularly when they actually remember what the first two letters of the acronym stand for

56. Multi-player or single player?

Never choose "or" when "and" is on the table

57. Ask anything you wish!: Games you're looking forward to playing soon?

Many! AC4, AC 6-7, trying out Runescape 3, the eventual AC6 DLC/expansion, probably some others that are eluding me still. Maybe Elin sometime too

[explosionshark]

If you’re not bored of the ask game: remember Alex/clarissa from oxenfree? Man, I should replay that game sometime. For something from this decade, what about v/judy?

YEAH I REMEMBER ALEX/CLARISSA. I still do ship it, they were easily the most interesting dynamic to me in the entire game. Something both fucked up and healing in the concept of them getting together at some point. The fact that Clarissa is basically singled out by The Sunken as the most vulnerable and she's the one they try to bargain for as their vessel has always been really striking to me and I think it casts her viciousness towards Alex in an interesting light - especially contrasted to the version of her you see in the flashback. Then there's Alex who, despite all of this, can still choose to not leave her behind, to not be responsible* for someone else's death, to choose Clarissa anyway. Sure everyone got tortured by ghosts there but imo Alex and Clarissa as bargaining chips got Most Tortured and I simply think between that and all the other stuff they are now hopelessly entangled by the red string of fate looped around both of their throats for life whether they like it or not so they might as well make out about it. I miss them, I should write them again.

*no Alex wasn't responsible for Michael's death but come on of COURSE she feels that way

V/Judy - I love Judy Alvarez. Tbh the love interests aren't super reactive to the things you do in that game outside of their personal quests (something I hope they work on in the next game tbh) but still, being with Judy kept me from making my V too fucked up and evil. I did not want to disappoint her. Anyway she's cool, she's great, I like when she sends pizza to your house and comes over to the megabuilding apartment and slaps your ass in the mirror. Sorry I got all your friends killed, babe, very cool of you to date me still, next playthrough I'll make different choices.

[ayebibs]

I just finished Veilguard. I have so many thoughts. Very raw and unpolished under the cut. I have no one to talk about this with so my dash must suffer. Probably will ramble on more later too.

Tldr; I am highly critical but I had a fun enough time and still love dragon age.

Definitely felt the loss of my world state choices. Especially if this is a soft relaunch and I may never have my characters or thedas mentioned ever again.

Hot take, I don't care for Morrigan that much. She's fine and I like her, but I love Varric more and would much rather have seen other past companions. Someone give me back fenris and merrill. Also, why is Isabela in basically every game. I like her but? I cannot determine the reason. Am I missing lore?

Speaking of Varric, I clocked his death immediately (no one but rook ever spoke to him?) His death felt cheapened by the poorly executed twist for me. Disappointing and annoying to me.

So much good lore (and much of it wasted). Why did everything feel so surface level except in the crossroads? That part of the narrative was so much tighter. So much could have been done with the Titans, in my opinion, and I think so little of that was explored.

Such a satisfying ending, but the rest of the game could be such a slog sometimes? Like, the ending lowkey reminded me of Origins and fighting the darkspawn and archdemon with the help of the people you built relationships with along the way, which was very cool. But I felt like all of those faction relationships were very shallow. Maybe we should have been able to talk to more people (with menus and branching dialogue) in the factions and do more sidequests to feel more attached?

So much marketing about the focus on companions but the romance was less of a focus than it has ever been and I didn't feel connected to, like, anyone except for Davrin and Assan. I didn't feel a single ounce of regret with my choices (I'm sorry, I don't get the hype around Harding... she was fine in inquisition but really didn't stand out to me. She had little depth imo as well...). We barely got to talk to them and learn their history and likes outside of caracitures of who they were. Yes, I get it Neve is a noir detective, Lucas is coffee man and spite is coffee demon, bellara is quirky and autistic coded. And none of those things make well-rounded characters.

Really wished I had romanced anyone but Lucanis because I thought he was bland (sue me) and Zevran doesn't exist for whatever is going on in that revisionist take on the crows. Also, I hate the sleeping together before the final battle trope. So much of that build up and romance should have happened earlier. The romance simply felt new to me and I didn't feel invested at all.

Speaking of revisionist history, how the hell was the enslavement of elves in tevinter barely mentioned? Or racism? I saw an excuse about someone having to write that and like... bffr. You can't just ignore hard topics. That is where the depth and nuance in dragon age comes from (not nuance in slavery mind you, but think fenris' opinion on mages because of his history). As the inquisitor, my lavellan constantly experienced racism and I loved it because I am female minority and have experience with those issues. Working around it or plowing though sometimes was gratifying and fun. I don't people see racism in a video game and automatically think "oh no bioware is racist?" If that's the issue.

Davrin was my favorite companion and i really wished I had romanced him. Might replay as a grey warden man and do that because I think that would be very cool plot wise. I think I also got what I wanted out of his companion quests. Like, they answered what I wanted and had a satisfying ending.

Also, I liked Bellara so much more than I thought I would, especially because I chose her at the very end and she becomes blighted. Her dialogue is very rough though and not appropriate for the tone of this game 97% of the time.

Still cannot get over how bad the dialogue was. Truly egregious. Very anachronistic and took me out of the story nearly every time some characters opened their mouths. The main offender being my Rook who could literally only be nice and very "go team." She sounded like my manager trying to convince me that our job is made of one big, happy family no matter what dialogue I chose. Also, I wanted to throw my controller at my monitor every time Neve said "the job."

Taash's storyline really could have been something great because there were glimmers when I really loved them, but the anachronistic phrases and lack of skill with their storyline really killed it for me. I have a lot of thoughts on this because I really think it was EXTREMELY lazy and showed a real lack of care for either nonbinary rep (which can still happen with own voices) or simply writing for a piece of existing media. I could think of many easy ways to improve it. Some glimmers are even in the game. Like when the spirit addresses Taash as cousin instead of sister? Why not more of this? Also what was with the push ups for misgendering and then immediately being like, oh saying sorry a bunch makes it more for the person who fucked up? Like... the pushups are different?? And definitely don't draw more attention to an insulting or dysphoric moment?

All that aside, I was decently happy as a solalavellan girlie. I can 100% see why people don't like Solas and might have chosen endings that end badly for him, but I feel strongly that he was the best written character in he last two games.

Had a fun enough time. Happy the game finally got made. Ending really saved this from being a 5/10 for me. Would rank around 7/10 rounded up.

Don't think the game needs a dlc, but there is always a part of me that wants to play through rebuilding in the aftermath of a near world ending fight that destroyed everything. Like, take me to Ferelden. Is my husband, the king, okay?

Desperately, desperately hoping that there is another game that is a true return to form to the first three games (yes, even 2 because the characters are so, so well loved) and more like the ending of veilguard. Also that we get a return of world states meaning something. Hate to be that bitch, but genuinely hoping Baldur's Gate raised expectations for story-based, rpg games and Bioware survives to bring back my favorite game series to what I loved so much.

Fingers crossed the next one (is made at all) doesn't take 10 years.

[hyouta]

KH ramblings part 3 of me saying a whole lot of nothing!! (Person who didn't know Re:Coded was this short)

Actually started this draft immediately after finishing the last post. Things I forgot to say...

It's not that I dislike Disney Town but I feel like the loop was so much shorter than it is in Melody of Memory so the Mickey March + It's a small world had me going crazy...

My dad heard it looping and came in to see because he got nostalgic for the song

Also fuck the platforming in the sewers, I think I accidentally unlocked it before I had good movement but I will burn it to the ground

KH racer game when

Didn't go to the Mirage Arena until just before going to the Keyblade Graveyard as Aqua, and then going to get a Xehanort Report for Terra

Also I rarely used D-Links, oops... it's actually sad how little I utilised them...

Getting trapped in combos was so so painful in BBS and I still don't know what I could've done otherwise because it was never this bad in any other game --- except Re:Com... I remember being so mad fighting Axel the second time even with my cheese boss deck, then I get his boss card that lets you attack even while staggering... which was a slap on the face lmao I was so salty...

Even though I want the full KH experience I've not attempted to unlock the secret movie for any game that has it... maybe I'll try unlocking a few after all games are done.

Speaking of... not sure what I want to do with the mobile games... I have played Union X before and I have access to the app on my phone but I'm not sure about playing all that again.

♥

Anyway onto Re:coded, damn people are way too mean about this game. People say out of the 2 DS games that this one is skippable and I'm not so sure about that... ok the story impact isn't HUGE but it does tie-in quite nicely. It's also like 16 hours without doing any extra stuff, that's one of the shortest experiences, not gonna kill anyone to try it out.

I heard KH3 acknowledges it, so... good. Game so fun I played for 11.5 hours straight.

Honestly the gameplay is so fun and it's a lot more straightfoward than BBS was (though I'm not sure if I utilised everything to the utmost, I got through in the end). Even as it goes through KH1 story beats the different level designs and new ways to fight the bosses makes it feel fresh (except who the hell decided to put an eliminator in the wonderland system sector... what is their deal?? are they satan???).

I watched the movie as I was going through Castle Oblivion (disappointed that they didn't use 13th floor, love that track) and didn't quite finish the game by the time I was done watching but I liked the small things they added to the movie. Some cutscenes were a lot more impactful but I miss some of the dialogue that was cut, even if small stuff.

Quick notes I made:

First impressions is the sprites are giving movie tie-in game. Low-key miss the expression less low-poly ds models lol

Sora babysitting the triplets is cute

First time playing one of the side-scrolling segments and he says "I feel flat".

Olympic Coliseum was so fun. Not gonna lie this world almost became my Agrabah, for it being in every single game so far, but this saved it.

This note just says "fire dashed off the map" because I glitched out of bounds. Thankfully the game did not punish me.

"You always try to take everything on by yourself. But I LIKE getting dragged into your messes" (crying emoji)

One of my new fav bits of dialogue: "Heh, I sometimes envy how simple your world is." "Is... that a compliment?" "I envy whatever makes you think it could be."

I have never had an issue with Hollow Bastion Riku, data or otherwise... but the last one was rage inducing, I just could not for the life of me remember how to counter his charge attack.

Last note is just expressing my disappointment that Sora doesn't hold the cards up to the door in the DS version like he does in Re:Com.

Actually last, last thing... it's funny in the secret ending how they cut of saying Saïx's name, as if it could've been anyone else?? I checked, it's the same in the japanese version... though it doesn't matter too much I suppose, I'm not even sure how long the wait was between this cutscene and DDD.

♥

I have a day off tomorrow to begin my DDD replay!! Then a 3-day weekend to play some more... I already have a note on it that says "Something something Axel not calling Saïx 'Isa' until he himself becomes Lea again something" thanks, me.

♥

Cause it's Christmas... I'll post tiny snippets of SOME things I've been doodling (cause also the likelihood of me posting anything is 10% at best, some of these are already months old lmao)

I want you all to know that I drew Vexen to complete the trio. Because I'm not a coward. However even though these are still the sketch phase too, for his one it's even less finished so I will not be posting lmao...

[niceness-before-knives]

I have to do a full replay to gather the odd notes and actual quotes instead relaying on my loose memories about this, but the day after I finished Veilguard, I was thinking while walking home.

“Why was Davrin or Harding?”

Part of my slight annoyance towards the section is simply that it’s unavoidable. And that isn’t bad in and of itself. There are hints and clues scattered throughout the game about the sacrifices taking on Gods requires. It is shocking during the course of the mission, and I don't think it’s not poorly written. But that fact that I can’t sacrifice anyone else during this portion of the game, that it’s only them, just sticks out as an odd choice.

It begs my silly mind to ask: why?

And I understand the limits of branching and assets. Sometimes, there's only so much you can do and that's a fine enough answer. It’s a part of the issue with the second choice too, but it's one I understand more. Bellara and Neve both have been disabling enchantments through the whole game. Emmrich could be choice too (honestly should’ve been), but I get why it was a choice between the two of them. We do need bodies to miss in the Regret Prison, and we need someone to control the blight at the end.

So. Make a choice.

But then, why Davrin and Harding? It's for a leadership role, which makes enough sense on its own. But it's to lead a distraction against the Antaam force on the island. Lucanis is needed to stab a god, sure, but what about Taash?? They can’t lead or scout or cause a distraction??? Bellara and Neve are needed for Part Two, so it bleeds backwards into this choice too.

Is it then only because Davrin and Harding are the easiest pawns? Companions, beloved, but not important enough to the core of the story? They’re there to grieve, and only grieve? And Emmrich is possibly a lich by this point in the story, so it's not like he can't really die like them if that choice was made.

It feels like Kaiden and Ashley again, a harder choice (for me) but one I feel more disconnected from at the same time. What’s the parallel? What’s the connection? Why them two together? Why not anyone else outside the limits of time and assets and writing yourself into a corner?

And my mind was just, “it’s the Blight."

They’re the two most connected to it. Davrin is a warden, hence blighted. Harding is connected to the Titans, the origin of the Blight. And they both fall, into the Blight itself, and just vanish.

And that thread? It's just fascinating to me.

You go to remember Harding, your companion, among the plants she loved. Rook laments there was no body to be found and promises if there’s a way to find her, they’ll do it.* There is a finality to the conversation, so it doesn't feel like a red herring or a wink and a nudge. It feels different from the ones about Bellara and Neve too. It is a goodbye.

But I can still see a slightly cracked open door, and that excites me.

There's no DLCs planned, at least there wasn't the last I checked, but my mind keeps writing the idea of one. In the Deep Roads, buried in the everchanging and calling Blight, finding our lost friends changed and tormented, and trying to bring them back. Because Wardens have changed with the archdemons now all gone, and Davrin is more than just a sacrifice waiting for death. Because Harding can do anything, and she’s more than just the Titan’s pain.

And I just like that idea?? While I do know it won’t happen, I do think it could be fun. It could be garbage too, but this is my fantasy DLC living in my head. So, I’ll just collect more tadbits and inspiration and make it as rad as it could be~~~ c:

(Also. Just a note. This isn't a theory. I doubt it's even all that original of a thought, and I won't be debating anyone over it either way. I just thought and continue to think that it's a neat connection, and one I’m definitely biased towards. I love going into the Deep Roads and I just miss exploring them in general, lol. We should go back to it, and we should find some trace of Davrin or Harding while there.

After all, the idea of 'we need someone to control the blight at the end' would be such a fun parallel to play with if the team ventured into the Deep Roads and found the same again, albeit maybe in a more malicious context.)

*: I played through both endings, but Davrin in my first and Harding in the second. Harding scene sticks out in my head more now because of that and the fact I had this idea in my head while playing through hers. Sorry, Davrin. :(