#I might make more posts like this in the future

[lgvalenzuela]

Now that this is making the rounds again I'm gonna spill something on the Veilguard companions because it's the only game in the series where I've been here since the begining and I've played this game so much I might as well be an expert

-Davrin is incredibly smart, he might say he wasn't a smart kid. But writing a book on your expertise because you have beef with a dead author? Straight up nerd behaviour, I haven't seen someone so mad about books since Dorian threw my library books out the balcony

I love his narrative, I love that he didn't become a Warden because he had to but because he wanted to (which like...I'm pretty sure is a first as far as Warden companions?) He wanted a propuse. But becoming a Warden was so ingrained in his brain when you meet him that he's so convinced he's gonna die young he's preparing for his death actively, he's preparing Assan to be able to take care of himself (also if anyone thinks his whole narrative is about Assan I'm gonna start throwing hands)

His narrative can be taken multiple places due to player choice. But personally I'm really into this self sacrificing hero that just... Finds a reason to live.

-Harding's narrative is literally about toxic positivity, Lucanis literally spells it out on the scene where they have coffee together. She's refusing herself very righteus feelings of anger for what's been done to her people, and to her specifically. She's grieving through the whole game and for multiple reasons and she's on the verge of breaking down the whole time. Both her endings need her to accept this part of herself, the part that's mourning and the part that's angry.

Also the dressing down she gives Solas at the end? Mwa! Poetry. Queen shit.

-I don't know how to explain Bellara without going into personal life? But like a grieving neurodivergent asexual woman, kinda feels like they were just writing me at some points.

Her narrative with Cyrian was the first (and not last) time I cried. I love how her and Davrin represent the past and the future of their people. How you sometimes have to look into the past to see a clearer future, how the sins of the past don't define you but it DOES feel too easy to just say: Oh but it wasn't me, and this is not Who my people are now.

Also in general I love their dynamic, I love when I can actually see relationships grow and chance in game. And I can see Davrin and Bellara forming a strong bond and Davrin being that anchor that Bellara needs. Not like Cyrian! But he cares for her! And she needs someone to care for her, to remind her that its okay, and that not everything is her fault.

-Neve is not an ice queen, she just uses ice magic. But take her with you anywhere and she's full of jokes. Damn she even approves of most of Rook's purple dialogues. She loves It when you're a silly goose.

Her entire character revolves around caring. She's there because she cares, because nobody seemed to care so she had to step up, she's willing to sacrifice so much just because she knows people need her. She's righfuly mad if Minrathous is ravaged by the dragon but it's...honestly not that hard to get on her good side again? She seems a little more mad than Lucanis, Lucanis seems more sad. But she honestly doesn't seem to personally blame Rook. None of them do. Because they're smart enough to know it was an imposible choice from the start. And she can see Rook put in the work (well I mean if you as the player care enough)

-Taash is not fucking immature or stupid. Taash has trouble communicating, I think we would all benefict from knowing the difference oh my God. Did we not learn this lesson with Sera? (Stupid question I know)

Honestly it's a thing I've always loved about this franchise and these characters. They all communicate differently, they do depending on their upbringing and just...some people have trouble communicating! It's fine! Just give them a second! Maybe let them write some things down!

-Emmrich🧡 (that's all, send post. I'm gonna have something else to say when I've already post this I can see it)

-My biggest surprise is Lucanis for sure. Fun fact? Wasn't on my radar when the first or second trailer or whatever else material dropped. But my Rook was born as a joke, he wasn't suppoused to even be Rook on the first place, he was meant as a secondary character and shipping him with Lucanis was also a joke.

I love him dude. I have such a thing for characters that have a kind heart, the more surprising that they have it the more I love it. I'm so glad he wasn't a Zevran type (and I LOVE Zevran, but for that we already have him!) He was just a weird little ace that had no fucking idea what was happening most of the time.

This is only when It comes to romantic love because he's really observant. He so quickly realizes what's wrong with every companion, he only really has THAT type of relationship with Davrin because he's matching his energy and honestly I think both of them think it's kind of funny at some point. He's good with people but in such a weird way where he doesnt know he is? He's just... Happy. I think he's truly happy for the first time because he has people that can rely on him and he can fully take care of. And in turn you can show him that he's worth those things too.

Things I never would have guessed from fandom osmosis before actually playing the Dragon Age games:

-Alistair is actually pretty smart, and has a lot of knoweledge to share about the topics he's interested about.

He's also not that shy, and flirts with a warden pretty smoothly, if a bit innocently for his lack of experience and general humorous persona.

And his primary motivator is revenge which is an interesting way to take a character like him.

-Zevran is the only character who actively searches for consent even in simple flirting like calling someone beautiful. If you tell him to stop he never makes a mention again.

He's also one of the most loyal and sentimental companions you can have. He cares a lot, want to admit it or not.

-Merrill is one of the most educated and smart characters on the series, she takes calculated risks based on her own studies and research, and the only reasons she fails is because nobody trusts her and refuses to treat her like an adult.

Part of it is also the game refusing to frame her as anything but a naive child when she's anything but.

-Isabela has the most emotional intelligence out of all the characters in DA2, she knows exactly what they're feeling and what they need to hear at all times. It's clear that she's wise and worldly, and just needs time to build confidence between her and the others because she's been hurt a lot and her respect is gained.

-Fenris has an amazing sense of humor and you can find him consistently laughing at both Hawke's and companions he likes silly jokes. He's just really deadpan when delivering his own jokes.

He's also considerably patient and doesn't lose his temper unless confronted with people who have actively abused him.

-Anders spent SEVEN YEARS protesting peacfully, and it took the risk of genocide on his people to reach the desperation of act 3.

-Dorian is incredibly reserved. He tries to avoid talking about his life with a veil of humor and sarcasm, but he's specially guarded around his sexuality and love life. He only comes out to the Inquisitor in a moment of fury to piss of his father and he may have not done so if not pressed.

If in a romance with Bull the only reason the others find out is because Bull exposes it in front of everyone (I wish they would have find out a better way to let the player find out than Bull ignoring Dorian's wishes of privacy)

If romanced by the Inquisitor he's in his first real relationship and it shows, he's lost most of the time but tries to hide it by acting cocky. It's really funny.

He's also a huge nerd, I wasn't expecting that but I was pleasantly surprised.

-The Iron Bull it's not just smart, he's so caring, he shows you around so you can meet the people, the ones nobody cares about, he introduces you to them.

-Sera also goes to the pile of characters who are really smart and nobody gives them credit for it. She says it herself, she's just really bad with words, but as long as you try to understand her she makes a lot of sense.

The game just gives you no other option than to treat her horribly, which I sense a pattern of framing the neurodivergent coded characters in a certain light with Merrill and Anders.

-Vivienne is the only one (with Dorian) that asks the Inquisitor if they're okay after Haven, and gives beautiful words of afirmation.

She's really affable if you bother to befriend her.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Running To You

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, control, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Sister series to Just What I Needed

Summary: You're rescued by a man who you don't even know is a real hero.

Characters: nomad Steve Rogers

Note: a stressed out steve rogers plus a cutie. it bloomed from the theory of Steve's beard being a symbol of his darker side, or a darker state of mind. In the wat that he would usually pride himself on a neat appearance but lets himself go a bit when he's not at his best.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You stumble up over the curb as you check the list on your phone. Oops, you should really look where you're going. You steady yourself and giggle at your own clumsiness. For how precise your inventory is, the rest of you is a bit of a clutter.

You dodge through the onslaught of pedestrians and apologise a deep 'hey, lady' thunders through at you. You quickly dip into the store and shield yourself with the door. You gasp and catch your breath, smiling at the associate nearest to you. The organic shop probably isn't the most exciting place to shop but it has most of the ingredients you need. Raw honey, tallow wax, essential oils...

You greet them with a small wave and 'hi' and turn to look at the shelves along the wall. They don't acknowledge you. Most people don't, not that you mind. You keep to yourself.

The door jingles and another customer enters. They pause by the door and look around. They might be lost. It's not unusual for one more person to wander in but usually they don't stay long.

He clears his throat and you do your best to focus on your list. You're going to need a basket. As you go to grab one from the stack, the man faces you. You shy away and stop short of latch onto one of the mesh baskets.

"Excuse me, miss," he holds up a familiar item; a red wallet with white polkadots. It's yours! "I think you dropped this."

"Oh, my, I did," you give a sheepish smile to his chest. He's an awfully big man. "Thank you."

"Yeah, no problem," he hands it over.

You accept it and hold it to your chest. You give a tiny shimmy, "thank you so so much!"

You dare to look up and meet his eyes. They're blue but reticent. He scratches his beard as he nods and backs up.

"I think I'm in your way," he grabs one of the baskets and offers it to you.

"Oh, no, but yes, thank you, I need one," you take it.

"Mm, yeah," he smooths out the tuft in his beard that he was pulling on. The hair is thick and coarse; the locks on his head are just as dense, pushed back away from the face, though his chin-length strands try to droop past his ears.

You put your head down and turn back to the shelves. He lingers, seemingly lost as he looks around. What's the odds that in a city like this someone would do something so nice? You look at the list again then peek over at him. He squints at a jar of sourdough starter.

"What do you use in your beard?" You ask then cover your mouth. "I'm sorry, that's not... polite, is it?"

He shrugs, "hm, I just use shampoo, I guess. Face wash?"

"Right. Well, it's pretty shiny." You scrunch up your face. "I'm sorry." You chew your lip in embarrassment. Your cheeks are ablaze. "I'm working on my beard oil. I make it. Um, sell it. But..."

"Beard oil," he repeats thoughtfully. "I don't... I guess maybe I should."

He touches his beard again, a crease between his brows.

"I don't meant to-- I... I'm not... it's cute. I mean. Suits you. I was just--" you show your teeth nervously. "I don't have a beard so..."

"Yeah," he agrees awkwardly and tucks his hair back behind his ears before it can fall forward.

"I ramble..." you drift off and face the shelves again. "I'll stop bothering you."

He inhales and backs up. He turns to the door then stops. You sense his gaze.

"It's a bit busy. Rush hour," he says. "You don't mind if I hide in here with you?"

You glance over. You shrug. "Um, yeah, sure. It's not my store. Not sure how interesting it is."

You fumble between the basket and your phone. You hum and scour the shelves with your eyes, scrunching your nose in concentration. He comes closer.

"What are you looking for?" He asks.

"Soybean oil."

"Soybean oil," he nods. "For..."

"Soap," you cheep.

"Ah. In my day, ma just used fat and lye."

You give his statement a thought. You've seen some recipes from way back. Like long ago. Almost a hundred years now. A lot of people prefer the gentler ingredients.

"Oh, that's cool that she made her own stuff," you muse as you take a canister and tap your spreadsheet to mark off that item.

"Yeah," you feel him trying to see the screen. "You're really organized."

"Can't forget anything," you say.

"Sure." He lurks and looks around before he focuses on you again. "I'm Steve, by the way."

You look at him. He's just as big as the last time you looked. His blue eyes seem uncertain. He can't be afraid of someone like you. You give your name.

"Nice to meet, you, Steve."

"You too," he agrees. "Can I help?"

"Oh, sure. What do you prefer? Rose or Gardenia?"

"Rose is nice," he says.

"I agree," you say and pluck up the small bottle.

"You said you sell stuff?"

"Sure do," you chime. You tuck the bottle into the basket. "You know, you don't have to pretend to care."

"What? I... I'm curious."

You eye him, "well, Steve, I'll believe you, but there's not much to be curious about."

His brows furrow, not so much in agitation, but intrigue. "The beard oil. How much?"

"Oh, you know, I could get you a sample from my hoard. Since you got me my wallet back. You don't have to do all that."

"I want to. I think you right," he runs his hands over his beard. "Needs a bit of taming."

You laugh, "looks good to me. Oh, you can try coconut oil. It's real easy and you can use it in your hair too."

"Coconut oil," he says. "I'll add it to the list. What about yours?"

"Soy wax," you look at your list. "I can use that for lots of things."

He lifts his heads, shoulders wide and straight, looking around on a mission. He strides around the rack behind him and you watch him search a shelf. He picks up two jars. He comes back to you. "Which do you prefer?" He holds up to two different sellers. You take the one in his left hand.

"Thank you," you grin.

"Next," he looks down at your phone.

"Jeez, you sure are helpful," you check again.

"They sell wicks. I need the long ones. Like this." You hold the basket and phone at a length.

He nods again, "on it."

You point him to the corner where they keep the candlemaking stuff and you go back to your own search. He's too quick for you. He has a hole bunch in hand. You have him put half in your basket and he takes the rest back.

Huh, looks like you made a friend.

🎀

Steve holds the door for you. It's so nice you thank him for what must be the dozenth time since you met. Maybe only even an hour ago.

As you get outside, you turn back to him, certain to keep away from the pedestrians who pay no heed to obstacles. "I can take that bag too."

He looks down as the door shuts behind him. "Pretty heavy," he says.

"Oh, I always do that. I forgot my little rolly bag," you shrug. "I can handle it."

"Wouldn't feel right letting you carry it all. Mrs. Rogers didn't raise a punk."

"Is that your mom? I bet she's nice too," you say. "It's alright, Steve. You've done enough. I owe you. My wallet would've been gone with the wind and I never coulda bought all this."

He stares at you, then once more peeks down at the fabric bag. You always bring the reusable; they're much stronger than the paper ones supplied in-store. He chews his lower lip.

"If you owe me, well, you wanna have a coffee? Together?" He asks.

You blink. That's so nice of him too.

"Coffee?" You press your lips together. You feel bad saying no. Not that you want to. It wouldn't be so bad to have someone to sit with. For once. "I don't drink it."

He nods, "tea? Hot chocolate? Water?"

You laugh.

"I'll have a cookie," you offer. "Um," you look up and down the street. "Where..."

"I saw a place. Never been in. Wanna give it a try?"

"Oh, cool. Yeah. I love new places, even if they're scary," you say.

"Here," he takes the other bag from your hands before you can argue. "It's a block back."

"Wait, Steve! I can carry that."

"Not if I'm around," he insists, "come on."

He rolls his shoulder in a gesture for you to follow. You huff and hop into motion. You walk next to him, wary of the oncoming people along the sidewalk. A man nearly bowls you over and you knock into Steve's elbow.

"Oof, I'm sorry."

"Get on the inside of me, doll," he says. "Used to be that people took their hat off when they passed a lady. Now they don't care if... well... you move."

He stops and lets you step across his path. He keeps you between him and the storefronts as he strides on undaunted. You wish you were as brave as him.

"Ah, there it is." He tilts his chin up.

You look ahead. You see the sign sticking out in the shape of a coffee cup.

"Oh, I see it," you hurdle ahead. "My turn."

You pull open the door as he follows. He stops to let another customer out before he enters. You follow him.

"There's a table," he nods.

You follow his gaze to the wall. You lead the way and he trails you. He puts the bags in one of the chairs.

"How about you sit?" He suggests. "What kind of cookie do you want?"

"Oh, Steve, uh," you pull out your wallet, "if they have oatmeal--"

"My treat." He insists.

"You can't do that," you argue.

"You gonna stop me?" He challenges. You gulp and blink at him. You don't think you could stop him from anything. He's quite the figure.

"I guess not." You murmur.

His expression softens, "hey, I'm kidding. I didn't... scare you, did I?"

"N-no," you force a smile. "I appreciate that. Thank you. Oatmeal. That's all."

"Alright. I'll be back." He turns and you see his shoulders rise and fall with a heavy breath.

You sit and jiggle your leg as you look around. You avoid the coffee shops, even the bakeries. They're always so busy. You are methodical in your ventures but today's seems to have gone off the rails. Not in the worst way. One time, you tried to take the subway and ended up lost in the rain.

There's women who look like they could be on a TV show with their fabulous dresses and perfect waves; a man in a suit with his laptop and a single earbud in, and an older couple near the door. There are many others in the line to get a treat of their own.

You turn in the chair and press your palms to the table. You stare at the wood between your hands. You feel the heat speckling over your scalp, that sense of suffocation burrowing into your chest, the voices swirling around you like a raging wind.

"Here," Steve interrupts your internal panic. He places a large cookie before you and mug. "They had this strawberry cream thing. No coffee."

You look at the pink concoction with a dark red swirl in the middle. "Mmmm," you lean forward to admire it. "Wow. It looks good."

He puts his own coffee down and moves the bags under the table. He sits and unzips his jacket to let the tension out of the fabric. You smile and pick up the cookie. You hide behind it.

"I can't eat this alone. It's as big as my face." You giggle. 

You break it in two and offer him half. He eyes it for a moment then accepts it with a thanks. You take a bite then round your eyes at him. He's staring. Oh no. Is that rude? You chew and swallow quickly.

"What?" You hide your mouth behind your hand.

"Nothing. It's just..." he glances around the shop. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" You make googly eyes and cross them. "Is there something on my nose?"

He snorts. "No. There's not." He sighs. "Just haven't had a nice quiet coffee in a while. It's nice."

Your brows pop up and you smile big. "I'm sorry I'm not a big coffee person. I tried it once and it made my belly gurgle."

"It's fine. Bad habit," he taps the handle of his mug with his index finger. "Are you gonna try that cup of sugar?"

"Not much better, is it?" You pick up the mug and blow over it. You put your lips over the brim and taste it cautiously. You hum. "Mm," you pull it away. "Delicious! This is a tummy ache worth having."

His cheek dimples as he watches you. You fidget against his gaze. He's nice but you never had anyone stare at you so much.

[thewertsearch]

You produce your most spirited LAD SCRAMBLE yet, and hop up to the next GOD TIER, achieving the illustrious REVENGE OF DOCTOR RAGNAROK. All of your vitals go completely bonkers. Your MAN GRIT is off the charts. You're embarrassed for us to even know what it is. It's that gaudy.

Remember when I described the God Tiers as 'less silly' than the Echeladder's levels?

...yeah. I should have known that wasn't going to last long.

You put forth your best LASS SCAMPER of all time, and clear another sweet GOD TIER, the nigh-unattainable SAYONARA KANSAS.

For Jade, these tiers are essentially meaningless now. She's the First Guardian of Earth, and wields powers far greater than the paltry parlor tricks of an ascended Sburb Player.

Jade's not a God Tier - She's a god.

Nobody should ever mess with you. Not even me.

And Hussie knows it.

You don't get boondollars anymore. That shit is for babies now. Instead, you are finally ready to have your first ACHIEVEMENT BADGE sewn on to your KIDDIE CAMPER HANDYSASH! You each receive the badge GIFT OF GAB, enabling you to engage in simple, direct dialogue with others, without requiring any gimmicks to facilitate communication. You don't need to type through a chat client, or talk to a sprite, or traverse through a memory in a dream bubble, or wander around in an interactive game environment, or any of that stuff. You seriously never thought you would live to see this achievement unlocked. It almost feels like cheating.

Getting a little sick of that restriction, eh, Hussie?

Sufficiently advanced Players are allowed to break the rules of the comic, a concept which is brimming with potential. Next thing you know, they'll be picking up objects without a Sylladex, naming their children before they're thirteen, or violating the sanctity of the alpha timeline wait what was that last one

A verbal conversation, with no Pesterchum handles in sight. This really does feel like a milestone, and it's incredibly funny (and on-brand) that we needed a Prestige Class to unlock it.

Also... this is decidedly not a three-millisecond journey. Just how long are they stuck here?

JADE: im not sure! JADE: some sort of limbo dimension between the two walls i guess JADE: like a realm with unusual spatial properties we have to cross through

Jade, for her part, is not aware of the metacanonical implications of this little trip. I think it was Scratch who first told her about the Fourth Wall, and it's clear he made a few tactical omissions concerning its true nature.

JOHN: we escaped the scratch? JOHN: like, we still exist and everything? JADE: yes! JADE: we still totally exist john JOHN: ok, just making sure. JOHN: i still felt pretty existy, but you never know.

A pertinent question, considering where they are.

Technically, they might be more real than they were before, since they've left the fictional medium(!) of their reality.

JOHN: i mean, we crashed through that giant window you magically made with witch powers to escape the scratch, so we can keep existing, right? JADE: yes JADE: i didnt make it with witch powers though, i captchalogued it hours ago because karkat told me to…

Wait, but wasn't it Future Jade who told Karkat to do that?

It certainly sounds like it was - and the current, post-session Jade should already be older than any 'future' Jade who talked to Karkat during the session.

By now, Jade should know why she arranged for herself to grab the Wall - but she's acting like she only did it because Karkat told her to. Maybe I'm just misinterpreting what she's saying.

JOHN: did you at least make it huge with witch powers? JADE: i did make it huge with witch powers! JOHN: so i guess that's what witch powers do, is make things huge? JADE: they also make things small JOHN: right, like you did with all those planets. JADE: yup JADE: also JADE: witch powers can teleport things, and fling things around through space at very high velocities JADE: all sorts of stuff! JADE: but to be honest, im not sure how much of that is attributable to inheriting becs abilities…

All of it, actually.

The only thing Bec didn't do was fling an object around at a high velocity...

...until you remember he did this, which absolutely counts.

So far, nothing Jade's done has been through her God Tier abilities. She's so powerful that her status as the Witch of Space is completely, utterly superfluous.

[coern-art-very-cool-and-nice]

the boy in the spotlight versus the girl in the mirror

unshaded version

[qiu-yan]

once again, instead of being a bitch on someone else's post, i'll keep my thoughts on my own blog.

i've seen people contrast yunmeng shuangjie by arguing that, while wei wuxian comes across as a rebel and jiang cheng comes across as highly mindful of social norms, in reality their social abilities are the opposite: that, in reality, it is wei wuxian who is socially apt and jiang cheng who is socially incapable.

for some fans, this then translates into political ability. these fans argue that it is wei wuxian and not jiang cheng who is capable of making connections.

come on now. this makes no sense. in fact, i'd go as far as to say that the story of MDZS as it is written is only possible if jiang cheng is actually better at making long-term connections - political connections - than wei wuxian.

certainly, wei wuxian is more personable and fun to interact with than jiang cheng; certainly, if everyone was a kid on a school playground, then most of the other kids would probably prefer to play with wei wuxian over jiang cheng. and yet, the world of MDZS is a bit more complicated than a school playground. wei wuxian might be more friendly and social than jiang cheng, but in no way does this translate to actual political ability.

it is true that wei wuxian most likely made a large number of friends at the cloud recesses lectures (such as one nie huaisang), before he was expelled for punching jin zixuan. one might then want to call these friendships future political connections. based on this, one might then expect that, after leaving yunmeng jiang to protect the wen remnants, wei wuxian would have some connections to cash in on.

and yet, this did not happen. where were these supposed "connections" when wei wuxian left yunmeng jiang to defend the wen remnants? where were these "connections" when wei wuxian was living in the burial mounds with no one but a bunch of escaped POWs, all for the sake of what was just? and where were these supposed "connections" when the entire cultivation world showed up on wei wuxian's doorstep, calling for his head?

the whole point of the first chronological half of the story is that wei wuxian stood alone. when wei wuxian chose to do what was right over what was easy, he stood alone. when wei wuxian chose to protect the innocent, he did so alone. and when wei wuxian refused to give up on the wen remnants, severing his single strongest political tie in the process - he ended up standing alone against the rest of the cultivation world. no one came to save him. no one even came to stand by him. none of the connections he made before his downfall as the yiling patriarch - save for one, which only stepped up after he died once - actually ended up lasting.

therefore, one can only conclude that, for all his friendliness and inherent likability, wei wuxian actually isn't all that great at forming and maintaining useful political connections. no matter how much people might like him at first, for almost everyone, he's ultimately too politically inconvenient to stand up for.

(funnily enough, the fact that almost all of wei wuxian's connections save a handful were fair-weather friends is highlighted by wei wuxian himself, in the following exchange during the second siege:

One of the cultivators standing at the forefront of the formation said, with bitter grief, “Wei Ying, you truly disappoint me. To think I used to admire and look up to you! I even said that, if nothing else, you were a founder, someone who established the first generation of your own sect. It’s almost nauseating, in retrospect. From now on, you and I stand in opposition!” Wei Wuxian was taken aback by this speech at first but then burst into hysterical laughter. “Ha ha ha ha….” He laughed so hard he could barely breathe. “You admired me? You say that, but why did I never see you, back when you admired me? And when everyone began to bay for my blood, you popped up waving your little flag to cheer in support!”

MDZS Seven Seas translation, Book 4, Chapter 18: Night Flight)

meanwhile, the plot of MDZS is fully impossible if jiang cheng is bad at making political connections. first, consider what happened right after the massacre of lotus pier: the golden core transfer happened, wei wuxian was thrown into the burial mounds, and then three months later jiang cheng and lan wangji found him again. by that point, jiang cheng had already called enough new disciples to his banner that yunmeng jiang was considered a contributor to the sunshot campaign. given that jiang cheng had literally no one by his side after the fall of lotus pier save jiang yanli, it is highly unlikely that jiang cheng would have been able to recruit this many new disciples if he had no interpersonal skills.

(one could potentially make the case that jiang yanli recruited the new disciples, but i find this difficult to believe. people in this time period would assess the strength of a political organization - one asking them to do something as dangerous as go to war for them - by the quality of that organization's leader. not by the quality of the leader's sister who would have inevitably married out of the organization. sucks to suck but that was how things worked back then.)

furthermore, jiang cheng rebuilt lotus pier. jiang cheng rebuilt lotus pier from literally nothing. some jc antis like to argue that wei wuxian contributed more to the rebuilding of lotus pier than jiang cheng, but this is absurd: wei wuxian was only around during the postwar period for 1-2 years at most before he left for the wen remnants, and a few years after that he was dead. after wei wuxian's defection, and then in the 13-year time period between wei wuxian's death and his resurrection, who was left in lotus pier? was in charge of lotus pier? who was running lotus pier so efficiently that, by the time of wei wuxian's resurrection, yunmeng jiang had gone from what wang lingjiao called a joke to one of the strongest sects in the jianghu?

of course - none other than jiang cheng.

this level of political rebuilding, for an organization that was literally decimated less than 20 years ago, is only possible if the leader of said organization is highly politically capable. during the 13 year timeskip, jiang cheng as yunmeng jiang's leader would have had to deal with rival sect leaders, make alliances with other sects, strike deals with other sects, and keep a constant awareness of the political landscape. all of this is only possible if jiang cheng is capable of making useful political connections. frankly, i think fans are putting too much emphasis on jiang cheng's surface-level mannerisms (which he also is only showing because wei wuxian is around, lbr), and too little focus on simple logic. if jiang cheng did not have the ability to make political connections, then yunmeng jiang would have collapsed.

it's easy to read MDZS and conclude, based on a surface-level analysis, that wei wuxian is better at making connections than jiang cheng. yet this take is at best shallow and at worst actively misses all the main points of the novel. for all his charisma, sociability, and wittiness, wei wuxian is actually not that socially apt - if he were, he and the wen remnants would not have died. and - for all of his snappishness, grumpiness, and irritability - jiang cheng is actually not a social klutz - if he were, yunmeng jiang would not have survived to see wei wuxian's resurrection.

the socially-apt underdog you're thinking of is jin guangyao.

(also, as an aside: nie huaisang did not mastermind wei wuxian's resurrection because he was, secretly all along, wei wuxian's ~great friend~ who was just so sad and disappointed about what happened to poor wei-xiong. it's a nice bit of fanon, but that's not what happened. nie huaisang masterminded wei wuxian's resurrection - 13 years after wei wuxian's death, i might add - because of wei wuxian's expertise. he needed someone with wei wuxian's specific expertise to both solve the nie mingjue dismembered corpse problem and to get revenge for him on jin guangyao. i don't know where bleeding heart huaisang came from, but it certainly wasn't canon.)

[natihoneybee]

Kagi-kun & the Basketball Team and HiraKagi Theories Post Chapter 29

In my free time, I spent the last few days rereading all of Hirano & Kagiura (including the novel) and then skimming through all of Sasaki & Miyano for Easter eggs. I wanted to compile as many details as I could find that’s related to Kagiura and his basketball team. I’m doing this to organize my thoughts better, and piece together details about the team.

While going through the material, I did come up with more theories for the upcoming chapter(s). But I might have to make a separate thread depending on how long the post gets. Anyway, I want this post to have facts and key details, so I’ll try to include volume and page numbers, too.

The first half of the post about Kagi-kun & the basketball team possibly has some spoilers for Ch. 29 but not really. Just in case I’m putting it under a “read more” line.

What we know about the basketball team

These are the names of basketball players mentioned so far: Shirahama Kyouji, Tomonori Kuda, Yamada, and Muroi Yuuki. These are the basketball players’ numbers we know about so far: Kagiura is #11 and there are two players who are #7 & #4 from a Shirahama flashback (Vol 10, chapter 49, page 18-19).

We know that Kagiura and the basketball team go to the city to watch basketball games or play outside of practice at a gym (Vol 4, chapter 11, page 7). Kagiura tells Hirano that there’s an arena nearby where a pro basketball team plays. And that the school basketball team sometimes takes the school buses (Vol 1, chapter 4, page 17). Based on some paperwork in (Vol 6, chapter 27, page 7), it looks like there is going to be an off-campus basketball retreat in the near future, which I think is going to come up in the next chapter and might be part of a larger arc in the next volume. But I will address that idea at the end in the “Basketball Retreat Theory” section.

Kagiura Akira

*I'm gonna be brief with Kagi's section because I could go on and on about him hehe

I’m really excited to see more of how Kagiura interacts with his teammates on the basketball team. While rereading, I focused on the scenes of Kagi with his basketball teammates and these scenes from (Vol 5, ch 23a) really stood out to me. Kagiura overhears another player complaining about him “getting out of cleaning” (Vol 5, ch 23a, page 3). And when he meets up with Hirano later that chapter, it’s revealed he’s late because he stayed behind and that “they needed help cleaning up” (Vol 5, ch 23a, page 8). I think that really goes to show the type of person Kagi is and how much he cares about the basketball club. He really works hard at it and doesn’t want anyone questioning his dedication to it. I'll get into this trait of his later in the Basketball Retreat Theory.

Jealous-kun

*I saw someone in another post say that this guy^ complaining about Kagi “getting out of cleaning” from (Vol 5, ch 23a, page 3) is the same guy in (Vol 6, chapter 29). And OMGG you are totally right!! GAAAHHH!! Idk his name though. If anyone could come up with a nickname while we wait, that would make talking about him easier (i’ll prob just call him jealous-kun for now). I'm assuming based on the translation, that he's also a second year.

Back to Kagi

Another thing I’ve been thinking about is a scene from (Vol 3, chapter 14, page 10-12) where a girl tries to give chocolates to Kagi on valentines day. I think her near confession is very precious. Kagi is so sweet about kindly turning down her chocolates. He seems really serious about what she has to say to him, too: he’s genuinely listening, asks her for her name, thanks her for watching their games and offers to walk her to the station. And the words she used to describe him “you looked so cool and mature when you were focusing”, definitely stuck with him in the context of Hirano: “I wonder if he’d think I’m cool and fall for me if I acted more mature”. Just something to think about. Now, this valentine’s day scene reminds of a scene in sasamiya with Shirahama, but I’ll get to that in his character section below.

Shirahama Kyouji

Shirahama in HiraKagi

Shirahama and Kagiura seem to be close, they frequently play basketball together even when there’s no practice scheduled, like during lunch (Vol 3, chapter 12, page 9-19) and on weekends (Vol 4, chapter 11, page 7). Someone in another post called them “basketball buddies” hehe. I think we’re definitely going to see more of their friendship as teammates in the upcoming chapters. Shirahama talks a lot about wanting a girlfriend, and often whines about how Kagiura is so popular with girls (Vol 4, chapter 20.6, pages 2-5). In the extra “Something About White Day”, Shirahama learns that Kagi has an unrequited love though, so I’m wondering if they will talk about love later on or if Kagiura will open up about his crush on Hirano to Shirahama. And even though Shirahama lightly complains about Kagi’s popularity with girls, he definitely cares about and respects Kagi enough to defend him from other players who are jealous of Kagi (Vol 5, ch 23a, page 3).

Shirahama in SasaMiya

Now jumping to the sasamiya series real quick in their third year: Something I’ve noticed is shirahama becoming more of a regular character since Vol 8. And we finally get a character name tag for him in (Vol 8, chapter 42, page 4). Since he’s becoming a bigger role in the sasamiya series, this goes back to my idea of shirahama possibly having a bigger role in hirakagi, too (i.e. he and kagi talking more about crushes or relationships). When I reread the parts of how Shirahama reacted to sasaki and miyano’s relationship (with the context of hirakagi) I started thinking: Does Shirahama know something about Kagiura and Hirano (to some extent)? Like maybe he knows that Kagiura has a crush or at this point is in a relationship that’s secret. Before learning about Miyano and Sasaki, maybe shirahama’s only example of how a couple acts was Kagiura and his experiences. Since, Shirahama seemed really surprised that Miyano wasn’t keeping his relationship a secret, I wonder if maybe Kagiura ever confided to Shirahama about his feelings for or eventual relationship with Hirano and if it was kept secret at some point because they were roommates (this is only the case if they start dating while being roommate, but I think they start dating in Kagiura’s third year tbh).

For Reference, here are the page numbers in sasamiya with Shirahama that I’m referring to: (Vol 8, chapter 42, page 4-8), (Vol 9, chapter 43, page 8), (Vol 10, chapter 49, page 18-21). And these are the specific Shirahama scenes/lines that stick out to me in the sasamiya series that may or may not back up my hirakagi theory involving shirahama (or I’m just delulu *shrug*):

In (Vol 8, chapter 42, page 4) Shirahama says “I’m never gonna get the chance to stay late at school getting everything ready for the cultural festival and then leave with a girl after I tell her it’s dangerous so she should let me walk her home!” He says it’s from a sim game, but it’s really specific and actually reminded me of Kagiura on valentine’s day haha. I wonder if this will happen to Kagiura in his 2nd year in the upcoming cultural festival.

“Let’s say I don’t find a girlfriend before college. Then I’m gonna end up getting a job and going out drinking, saying, ‘I wanna get married…!’ I feel like I’m gonna end up sounding like this guy on the team, and I don’t want that.” (vol 8, ch 42, pg 5).

“You scared me…!! You can’t just say that! It’s a secret!” (vol 8, ch 42, pg 7)

Shirahama says “Is that really what couples usually do…? Guess I was overthinking it.” (Vol 9, ch 43, pg 8)

I’m really interested in what y’all think about the scene in (Vol 10, chapter 49, page 18-21). It seems like Shirahama really doesn’t want to miss basketball practice and the flashback scene he recalls actually hits a nerve. Do you think maybe Shirahama is feeling insecure about his role in the basketball club here? Like maybe he’s not always part of the main team in tournaments? I initially thought that this was a Kagi cameo, but the jersey’s say #4 and #7, and I’ve read somewhere that Kagi’s jersey number is #11.

*Side note: I can’t remember which page in sasamiya it was, but Shirahama mentions going on group dates a lot. Is he going with some guys from the basketball team? If anyone knows, please please pleasee let me know. Obviously, I don’t think Kagi would go, but I can imagine him being asked to go to help the other guys out or “evening out the numbers” haha OR being asked NOT to go because he’s too popular with girls. It could be a funny scene to see idk.

Okay, I think that’s all I have to say about Shirahama on the basketball team for now. I’ll probably refer back to him later though.

Tomonori Kuda

I think he’s the one Kagi mentions in these passages in the HiraKagi light novel on pages 22 and 26. And I think that they might have a “rivals to teammates to friends” type of relationship. At least, that’s the impression I got from the novel when Kagi cheers for him at the Sports Festival and thinks “I’ve gotta tell him how glad I am that he joined the basketball team.”

Also, you can see the name “Tomonori Kuda” in Kagiura’s phone call log, and before Hirano called, he was the last person Kagi talked to on the phone (Vol 1, chapter 3, page 31). So, I’m kinda hoping that they’re close and we see more of that. When the regular players are called over at practice, Kagi and Kuda’s names are both called, and we get to put a face to the name (Vol 5, ch 23a, page 4).

Yamada “Run, Yamada!”

Someone is named Yamada (unknown given name) on the basketball team. This is literally just based on this one background character during practice when Shirahama is talking to Sasaki in (SasaMiya Vol 9, chapter 46, page 11 ) lol.

Muroi Yuuki “headband-kun”

I saw someone referring to him as “headband-kun” in a tag and I thought it was the cutest thing. Muroi Yuuki is a newer character we’ve just been introduced to, and we know he’s Kagiura’s kouhai. He’s a first year, while Kagi is a second year. I believe his first appearance is (Vol 6, chapter 27, page 4 & 7). In the scene where Kagi is helping Muroi with paperwork in (Vol 6, chapter 27, page 7), we see a close up of his name and his reason for staying off-campus. We see quite a bit of him in Chapter 29: where he’s on the school bus with the basketball team, he asks Kagiura which activity he’s doing, introduces himself to Hirano telling him he’s on the basketball team and then asks to have Hirano’s contact information. So we know that 1) he will be at the off-campus basketball retreat, 2) he’s a kouhai on the basketball team, 3) He really looks up to Kagiura. I think he’s adorable and I am soooo looking forward to seeing more of Kagiura and Muroi’s kouhai/senpai relationship. I am so glad Kagiura finally has a kouhai of his own! Also, that part where Kagi gives Muroi his phone to watch a game… so cute, it’s giving ipad kid lmao 🤣😭.

HiraKagi Theories (Spoilers for Chapter 29!!!)

Okay! So that’s it for what I have on the basketball team profiles. I’m gonna get into what I think is going happen after Chapter 29. This section is definitely going to have spoilers!

Basketball Retreat Theory

I think there are going to be multiple arcs coming into play during the months May-October of Hirano’s 3rd and Kagiura’s 2nd year (Hirakagi Vol 7 and onward). First, I’m going to address my Basketball Retreat Theory. Based on some paperwork in (Vol 6, chapter 27, page 7), it looks like there is going to be an off-campus basketball retreat in the near future, which I think is actually going to come up in the next chapter and might be part of a larger arc in this coming up volume.

I can’t remember exactly where this image^ is from, but it got me thinking: Does Kagi become the new captain for the basketball team? I don’t think that’s something that has been confirmed or not but it just makes sense, right? I just get the feeling there’s gotta be more behind the question that Hanzawa is asking Shirahama, especially since Hanzawa is so familiar with Kagiura and his character. I mean like Hanzawa had asked Kagi about being an RA at some point. Kagi was in the running for being an RA without even realizing it! Tashiro (who became ping pong captain) mentioned that he started getting scouted for the position during the summer/ cultural festival season, which is coming up soon in the hirakagi timeline.

Now, back to the basketball retreat and upcoming tournaments: If Kagi’s senpais on the basketball team are going to start scouting for the new team captain, I am absolutely positive they are going to partially determine who to choose based on how well things run smoothly at the retreat and tournaments. Going back to Kagiura’s profile from earlier, we know he’s Basketball Team Captain worthy and Hirano has even said to Kagi that “They’re well aware of how hard you’ve been working” (Vol 5, chapter 23b, page 6). Not to even mention, Kagi in his 2nd year has now been training and teaching the younger members too! So, following this theory that Kagi is in the running for becoming the new basketball team captain, I think this definitely adds to the possibility that we will see some basketball team drama. Especially if Jealous-kun is another 2nd year basketball player in the team interested in that position.

Homophobic Jealous-kun Theory

Now, this other theory involves Jealous-kun much more. My other theory is that Jealous-kun, who has a history of intently watching Kagiura, catches Kagiura having a moment with Hirano—and like Hirano with Inchinose—Kagi makes eye contact and realizes they were caught. Only, Jealous-kun isn’t as sweet about it and reacts homophobically. If this does happen, I actually think this might go a really angsty route where Hirano and/or Hanzawa get involved. Like… I’m wondering if there will be a physical fight between Kagi and Jealous-kun (which just thinking about that scares me so much cause idek if Kagi can fight??) But the reason I think this is a huge possibility is because of some clues in both hirakagi and sasamiya series.

It’s been brought up multiple times that Hirano is good in a fight, in (Vol 1, chapter 3, page 14) Sasaki tries to reassure Hanzawa that “Hirano’s good in a fight. If anything happens, he’ll be fine… I think”. To which Hanzawa replies “That ‘I think’ doesn’t really make me feel better”. So I’m wondering if there will be a point in the story where we will see Hirano get in a physical fight. Either he fights someone *cough cough maybe jealous kun?* to defend Kagi or Kagi is in a physical fight with someone *cough cough maybe jealous kun?* and Hirano gets involved to try to split it up.

If this does happen, I think Hanzawa could be a witness to this situation. Fast forward to the scene from sasamiya (Vol 6, chapter 30, page 12). Hanzawa says “Some of the guys in my life are gay, and I’ve seen them get in fights before. It’s scary. Whenever they get hurt, I always worry that something happened with one of their boyfriends…” Now, when I first read this scene I only thought about it in the context of Hanzawa’s brothers past relationships (maybe they dealt with domestic abuse). BUT in the context of hirakagi (it’s interesting that Hirano is pictured here), it’s definitely not the case of domestic abuse or toxic relationships.

I think the wording here is on purpose because 1) Hanzawa used the phrase “some of the guys in my life are gay” instead of just using “brothers”. So I immediately thought of Kagiura. 2) When he says “I always worry that something happened with one of their boyfriends”, I feel like it could have a double meaning where “that something” that “happened with one of their boyfriends” could be Hanzawa and Hirano finding out that Kagiura is in a fight with someone and Hirano dashes to him (we all remember how fast he ran when kagi was overtired).

*sigh* Just thinking about this situation is stressing me out. So for now I’m moving on to another thought process and that’s Hirano’s confession, but I’ll get back to Hanzawa later.

Hirano’s Confession

As of right now it’s May in the hirakagi timeline, the sports festival just happened and in the sasamiya timeline this is when Sasaki (awkwardly) confesses to Miyano. 

In the sasamiya series in (Vol 3, chapter 15, page 21), we have this beautiful moment between Hirano and Sasaki that happens in June. Hmph. So, Hirano’s reaction definitely feels personal, right?? Because there’s definitely a window between May and June, I wouldn’t be surprised if Harusono stretched out that period of time. Still, I’m pretty positive that Hirano is going to confess in June right before or right after this scene with Sasaki. Hirano’s comment: “Stop making excuses and just tell him already!” Absolutely confirms to me that there is going to be something on Hirano’s mind that he might use as an excuse to wait to tell Kagi, that will delay his confession, or that will just make him feel hesitant. And I think that something could be related to the basketball retreat theory, the homophobic jealous kun theory, or how Hanzawa feels about gay relationships (at this point in the series). And when he tells this to Sasaki, I think he’s also saying this to himself (maybe).

Hanzawa’s Involvement

Time to get back to Hanzawa. In the sasamiya timeline, we’re officially introduced to his character with a name tag in (sasamiya Vol 4, chapter 19, page 8). At this time, it’s July. I think it’s really interesting that Harunsono chose this point to officially introduce Hanzawa, especially with Hirano’s dorm life brought up on the same page and Hanzawa seeming to be unphased. Later in (sasamiya Vol 4, chapter 22, page 19-20 & 24) Hanzawa and Miyano are discussing what love is. At this time, it’s September during cultural festival preparations. I saw someone in another post say that it feels like Hanzawa is repeating someone else’s words. I believe this is definitely the case. In the Sasaki and Miyano anime, Hanzawa’s speech actually overlaps with scenes of Hirano & Kagiura and Kuresawa & Ogasawara on the phone with their respective girlfriends. And the reference to Hirano and Kagiura feels like such an obvious clue now looking back at it. The conversation between Hanzawa and Miyano (in the anime and manga) goes like this: 

Miyano: What do you think it means to like someone?

Hanzawa: I think it depends on the person. Like wanting to do stuff with them? Or like wanting to be together. Wanting to hold hands. Wanting to touch them. Wanting to kiss them. Wanting to hold them. Or wanting to have them all to yourself. … Love is when you can’t stop thinking about the other person, or so they say.

Everything that Hanzawa says and uses as an example of Love literally relates back to Hirano and Kagiura. So, it could be that this is a speech that Hirano has said to Hanzawa before. Even the phrasing reminds me of Hirano. Like in hirakagi (chapter 29, pages 12-13 & 16) when Hirano is talking to Ichinose, Hirano asks “Have you ever wanted to kiss someone? … And try various things. … I’m fine with touching them”. Hirano is sorta still figuring out the type of “like/love” he feels for kagiura (although in chapter 29, page 34 it looks like he’s realized it’s the same as kagiura’s like/love), but once he figures it out completely, I think he’s going to share this information with Hanzawa. And explain it to Hanzawa with personal examples: 

Kagiura and Hirano feel love differently (it depends on the person)

Sometimes it’s wanting to try various things (like wanting to do stuff with them?)

Wanting to continue living together as roommates (like wanting to be together)

Wanting to hold hands (something Hirano and Kagiura have done)

Wanting to touch them (the 10 seconds touch everyday)

Wanting to kiss them (something Kagiura or Ichinose want to do when they like someone)

Wanting to hold them (hugging)

Wanting to have them all to yourself (dating and Kagi's "More than anything, I want to be with you" in chapter 29, page 28)

When you can’t stop thinking about the other person (literally Hirano every moment of everyday and Kagi when Hirano leaves)

And I think this is going to happen in July, since that’s when Hanzawa was introduced to the sasamiya series and seems to be more open to gay relationships by this time. I just think that Harusono is very intentional with their characters and would set it up this way. Especially since in (sasamiya Vol 4, chapter 19, page 8) Hanzawa doesn’t seem to be as worried as he did before about Hirano and Kagiura’s dorm life as roommates (him no longer being an RA might be a factor as well, but I think it’s mostly because Hirano has talked it over with Hanzawa regarding his closeness with Kagi).

*Side Note: Now this isn't really about Hanzawa's involvement, but on the topic of Hirano’s feelings and for the sake of sticking to chronological order with referencing chapter 29 so much, I'm going to put it here. Are we going to get a kiss in the next chapter?? Before they were interrupted by Muroi (chapter 29, page 30), it seems like they were talking about trying it (when they have more privacy, like maybe back at the dorm?). Because like… Hirano didn’t say no, just not here. Ya know?

Hirakagi Timeline Post Chapter 29

Okay, so I think I’ve addressed everything I wanted to. But to lay it out in a more organized fashion, here is a timeline based on all my theories and how I think it could pan out post chapter 29:

May -> Right now we’re at the Sports Festival

May - June -> basketball retreat/tournaments/team drama that Kagiura is gonna have to face; the basketball retreat theory, the homophobic jealous-kun theory? (could happen anywhere between May-July)

June -> Hirano’s confession!! (hopefully)

June - July -> Hirano and Hanzawa’s heart to heart moment

September - October -> Cultural festival; possible basketball tournament (shoutout to @rubyrose143 for finding this easter egg in sasamiya chapter 23.1)

December - January -> New Year’s Eve (Kagi is sick; Hirano goes to the shrine with Sasaki and meets Miyano, Kuresawa and Tashiro there in the "Special Drama CD My Wish", also shown as an extra chapter in sasamiya Vol 3)

Well, that's it. I hope this was somewhat helpful and entertaining to read. Thank you all for interacting, please let me know if I missed anything, and please please please tell me what you think! ❤️

[maxdibert]

I know that the fact we don't meet any of Lily's friends outside of the marauders is more like a plot hole. But if we consider it canon that she had no other friends, it does make me wonder... Maybe Severus was her only real friend, even with all the dysfunction. After all, he's the only one who seems to remember her outside of being James' wife and Harry's mother. She may have been popular, with many people around who liked her, but no one who really understood her at a deeper level. And yeah, Severus put Lily on a pedestal, but they were real friends at one point, when they were kids and things were simpler. And I'm sure that mattered for something.

Oh, but I don’t think Severus truly understood Lily on a deeper level by the time they stopped being friends, because he never really grasped what it was about him that upset her so much. Not that I particularly blame him. Lily wasn’t any better in that regard. She never really understood what was going on with Severus either, or why he behaved the way he did.

And something I find both very curious and very realistic is that neither of them really wanted to understand. Because it didn’t suit either of them to do so. Severus couldn’t afford to confront his cognitive dissonance, he didn’t want to face the idea that the people who had accepted him, given him a safe place at Hogwarts, and offered him some hope for the future, might actually be awful or fundamentally incompatible with having any sort of relationship with someone like Lily. But at the same time, Lily wasn’t interested in questioning why Severus had ended up where he did, or how the people she surrounded herself with (the Gryffindors, mainly) — the ones she defended — had actually played a fairly significant role in Severus’s radicalisation.

Lily didn’t want to consider that the boys who saw her as the pretty girl, the potential girlfriend, the popular darling, might well have been absolute pieces of shit, just as Severus didn’t want to consider that his housemates might be the same. Because Lily enjoyed the attention, and Severus needed the security. Neither of them truly understood each other at the time, even though, in truth, their choices made a certain amount of sense.

That aside, of course Severus was her childhood friend — and really, out of everyone at Hogwarts, he was the one who had known her before she became Lily the popular girl, Lily the teachers’ favourite, Lily the object of James Potter’s obsession. He knew her beyond being someone’s girlfriend, someone’s wife, someone’s mother; he knew her as a person.

Whether she had other close friends, I don’t know, because, as @lilithofpenandbook pointed out in another post, it doesn’t even seem like she was truly close to Mary Macdonald. I mean, she’s mentioned as an example, but Lily always refers to her by her full name, and you don’t usually talk about your close friends like that. You don’t mention a friend’s name and surname when speaking to someone who supposedly knows who you’re talking about, it’s ridiculous. And even if it wasn’t someone particularly close, if you’re always hanging around with someone, people will know exactly who you mean just by the first name. So it doesn’t really seem like Lily and Mary were actually that close, and beyond her, there’s no one else mentioned apart from James’s friends.

You can be popular without having any real friends or meaningful connections to anyone, and it does feel like that was a bit the case with Lily. Or at least it seems that way, and I’ll always insist it’s absolutely ridiculous that we know even the names of James’s parents, but we know virtually nothing about Lily’s family. All we know comes from Severus’s memories, and the tiny scraps we get about her home life come from Petunia’s comments. And, ironically enough, in both cases, they’re relationships Lily herself cut off. Even more ironic is that James was indirectly involved in both of those breakages.

[fatcathappycat]

10 Ace Attorney fics that made me >LOL<

(part 1)

Reading AA fanfics on Ao3 has been my 'go to' choice for self-care this past year. The following are works that literally made me either snort, giggle, cackle or laugh out loud. As usual, these are in no particular order, because creating a sense of order in life is an illusion, and fics are to be enjoyed and celebrated, not ranked ;p

1. Vocal Exercises by SapphireWine

Rating: G Words: 4,756 Read time: 20 mins

Phoenix has a secret talent!! I laughed out loud so hard at this story's climax, I think I hurt myself (the best kind of hurt ;) ). And like so many of SapphireWine's fics, the story is so sweet (new love getting to know each other) and crisp (that snappy dialogue!) and savory (mmmmm tasty Narumitsu). I wrote in my bookmark that this fic is a sweet little ol’ onion if onions were like apples maybe, and covered in feelings.

~≧◡≦~

2. Eureka Moment by Kantayra

Rating: T Words: 673 Read time: 5 mins

"Miles discovers that, to his embarrassment, he is just as much of a total dork in bed as he is in everything else." Ahem, ngl, this is now firmly established in my head canon. Kantayra is one of my 'go to' Narumitsu Master authors. They specialize in short, sharp and hilarious ficlets, and I highly recommend all their work. This author will show up again in my fic recs, guaranteed.

~≧◡≦~

3. A Collective Groan by Kantayra

Rating: E Words: 6,321 Read time: 30 min

"Miles prided himself on his self-control, or at least he would if only Phoenix would stop being so incurably Phoenix." OOP! See! I was (w)right, here is another one by Kantayra. In addition to being a Narumitsu Master, they are a freaking Pun Master! OMG the PUNS!!!! And the fact these are Mile’s weakness! I am so dang happy I found this author and this fic in particular. I'm laughing even as I'm typing this, remembering some of them.

~≧◡≦~

4. The Crushing Weight of Inevitability by Kantayra

Rating: E Words: 6,321 Read time: 30 min

And sorry, I can't help but slip in yet another gem by Kantayra! (Honestly, I might have to do a dedicated post on them in the future). "How Edgeworth applies for a job: smugly, confidently, remorselessly, and with plenty of snark." In the form of a heavily cited resume, this is another absolutely fantastic ‘pun fic’ from this fabulous creator.

~≧◡≦~

5. Worse than we could have imagined (2 part series) by hi_its_ellis

Rating: T Words: 5,813 Read time: 25 min

Our favourite idiots being, well, idiots. By yes, another one of the authors I consider a 'Narumitsu Master.' In the author's notes, they say "I intended this to be Really Soft and it turned out Really Stupid" I happen to love soft and stupid so there we go... but it also has heart, so there we go twice.

~≧◡≦~

6. Texts & Turnabouts by YanagiKana

Rating: T Words: 40K? Read time: 3 hours (?)

I love chat fics. They are such a fun character vehicle. This one is missing a few graphics but still really, really enjoyable and I hope this talented author comes back and gives us more. :)

~≧◡≦~

7. It Would Feel So Good To Make You Mine by hi_its_ellis, lowbatteryhealth

Rating: T Words: 54,615 Read time: 4 hours

I am the 590th bookmark for this epic tale from two of the most diabolically minded pair of Narumitsu Masters in the fandom, celebrating the most epic game of Gay Chicken ™️ ❤️🐔💙 Read and enjoy, you won’t be disappointed! I would also file this one under 'required reading for Narumitsu fanon'

~≧◡≦~

8. A Beginner's Guide on How Not to Write Steel Samurai Fanfiction by chameleonwrites

Rating: T Words: 16,058 Read time: 65 mins

"Verity Baytum, a court stenographer, has a secret passion for writing Steel Samurai fanfiction based around the pairing Magisteel. When she finds an unlikely source of inspiration during her job, she can't help but watch court proceedings in search of further lines that fit her fics."

"Yaaay!!!! Sooo much fun, just like the description implies! Very Ao3 and discord community vibes. Verity is a really likeable and charismatic Original Character and I would love to read more about her! - If you are craving more, I suggest a chaser of Kantayra's 'Court(ing) Record' ;)

~≧◡≦~

9. Twelfth night by zombiekittiez for Gheyn

Rating: T Words: 5,156 Read time: 20 mins

“Phoenix hand feeds him a berry, sweet and sun-warmed. Also, slightly crunchy from the sandy soil. Resigned, Miles chews and swallows. Three days in and he is already eating dirt.” Time-loop au comedy hijinks by another one of my 'go to' authors.

~≧◡≦~

10. Certifiably Yours (2 part series) by Gheyn

Rating: T Words: 5,156 Read time: 20 mins

If you like fics that reference the language of flowers, or how meticulous Miles is, this fic is for you. And I'm finishing strong here, folks. This 2-part series is LOL perfect! Tears! TEARS!! In my eyes from laughing so hard. So sweet! So romantic! So silly! So good. Hiiiiighly recommended. ❤️💙

~≧◡≦~

And that's it for another week! I hope you enjoy these as much as I have. Look forward to a part 2 in the near future {;)

Do you have a favourite AA LOL fic? Please share in the comments! And THANK YOU!!!!! to all the incredibly wonderful punny, funny awesome authors cited here. I luuuuurve you!

❤️ ♥‿♥ ❤️

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 77 Irrelevant Posting

Hello, dear void... we're definitely on a streak of excellent chapters lately.

Rough TL of the Editor's Notes: First Page: 語られるのは...- [katara reru no wa...] "A conversation..." Last Page: 構える淵天！！いざ！！[kamaeru enten!! iza!!] "Enten at the ready!! Let's go!!"

And a TL of that amazing colour page's text that will no doubt be removed in the official English version:

背負うのは矜持と愛と歪んだ未来- [seou no wa kyouji to ai to yuganda mirai] "Bearing the burden of pride, love, and a distorted future..."

Unnecessarily cruel title placement though, jeez.

HAKURI!!! HE'S STILL REAL! HAKURI HAKURI HAKURIIIIIIIIIIII AAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Alright, now that that's out of my system... how 'bout them apples? Looks like we got our "trio" for Kaugrabachi! And it's the best one I could have asked for, honestly. I love all three of these kids to pieces and I want them to find all the happiness they deserve by the end of the series.

Except... I'm already malding in advance that the English version will remove the text on the colour page. It perfectly summarises the burdens that were passed on by these kid's fathers and so should stay! Hakuri suffered due to Kyora's pride in the Sazanami legacy, Chihiro is suffering thanks to Kunishige's deep parental affection for him, and Iori is suffering because of Samura's fear for what's to come. 背負 [seou] says it all- "to carry on one's back", "to be burdened with", "to take responsibility for". These poor kids are in so much pain because of what they've inherited to struggle with- and the pain even extends beyond them because of how much influence their fathers have/had. Innocent people are caught up in their misery too but only the children bear responsibility for what happened. This is the core theme of Kagurabachi! And there are a lot of readers who could stand to be reminded that this series is more than just "cold lines" and "aura farming"!

Okay. One more TL note before we get into the chapter. The title of it in Japanese is 蚊帳の外 [kaya no soto], an idiom. The literal meaning is "outside of the mosquito net" and it's similar to "out of the loop" or "left in the dark"- someone being purposefully excluded for one reason or another, usually because they don't fit in. Keep this in mind for later!

Some Guy

This guy gets a name and we are STILL using fandom nicknames for recurring characters lol.

吉田貫龍 [Yoshida Kanryuu] - will we see this guy again? Why did we get his name, if not to tease him reappearing (or the author trolling us)? Given his surprising connection to Samura, he might not just be a one-off though. Perhaps just to drive the point home that Samura fucking cares a lot about everyone, like how we got Fuura Ryo's name in chapter 57.

The family name Yoshida is made up of the kanji 吉 [yoshi, good luck/fortune/auspiciousness] and 田 [da, rice field, rice paddy] to make a very generic last name implying bountiful rice harvests. Kanryuu is made up of 貫 [kan, pierce/penetrate] and 龍 [ryuu, dragon/imperial dragon/mythical creature] to make "pierced dragon" for an insanely cool given name.

It seems to strange to start a fight chapter with a seemingly random artist talking about his depiction of a phoenix, doesn't it? But Mr. Yoshida being connected to the Seitei War and being saved by Samura is a framing device for this chapter.

We saw a lot of Samura's flaws during the flashbacks to Iori's past and him being played by Yura. He's a bad dad even though he tries his best, he barely functions as a person- it really seemed like he was struggling a lot and maybe just a smidge pathetically too. Mr. Yoshida doesn't change anything with his initial appearance here. But...

You're now aware we never saw his right hand in frame until these panels.

No wonder this guy painted something downright biblical to represent his Seitei War experience! The Bearers must have seemed like gods on the battlefield.

Samura is a saviour; he wants to rescue people no matter what. (Maybe it's the brainrot talking, but who else does that remind you of, kind void? Hmm? Maybe a certain guy who gave himself literal brain damage to try and save Uruha? Perhaps the guy who got a million paper cuts saving an audience in a theater?) And he did just that in spectacular fashion this chapter; Hokazono-sensei really went all-out with the artwork this week before the break. Goddamn there were so many cool shots.

But yeah. Samura's not just a sadsack guy with too much unmanaged anxiety; he's mercy incarnate. He will bring salvation one way or another, even if it's through death (and rebirth).

Theories on what, if any, limitations Suzaku has are still up in the air though. Hiruhiko tried to test them and we can confidently say there's no cooldown interval or target selection restrictions. I think we'll find out what they are sooner or later, probably as a dramatic reveal of some kind.

Interesting that Samura's eyes couldn't or wouldn't be healed though. Not much more needs to be said- he's stuck in his mindset and will keep punishing himself to atone and save. My current (largely unfounded) theory is that Samura stays blind by choice and his using his own life force to do those spectacular feats with Suzaku; almost quite literally setting himself on fire to save others. C'mon and prove me wrong, author! Being completely off-base is my favourite past time besides rotating Hakuri and HakuHiro in my brain 24/7.

Three-Way Sword Fight

As was predicted in chapter 61, so it has come to pass.

The text on the chapter 61 page was "intersecting motives". I love this manga.

We got our three-way clash of ideals and skill and holy shit was it epic!

Samura trying to cut them both at once to end things quickly, Hiruhiko having a moment of hubris, and Chihiro being focused on saving himself for confronting Samura... what an amazing chapter.

Got a lot more insight into Hiruhiko too so let's talk about it. I won't be bashing him, promise. Neutrality is the name of the game.

Even feral toddler > nameless mook in a suit in Kagurabachi.

Hiruhiko not caring about anyone or anything is in line with his character as we knew it to this point. He's a very nonchalant kinda guy who just wants to have a good time, and unfortunately for innocent people that happens to involve a lot of injury and murder apparently. Because it's just one more thing he can do- no different from, say, going to an amusement park or playing video games. Being a killer is part of his self-image and he embraces it with open arms.

Why is he this way, though? Maybe he was just born with it. Maybe it's adaptive apathy as self-defence. Maybe it's because he apparently wasn't raised with much care early on in his life. We don't know, really, so choose what you want to believe until the author makes the reveal. He killed someone trying to assault him at the age of three and that's what unlocked his natural talent for fighting and killing, yes. But the mindset of why he doesn't care about it is yet to be explained. Another thing to put off for the future.

Nice title drop, bro.

It's Hiruhiko's hubris that did him in again. For the third time. He doesn't care about anything except fighting Chihiro, so he writes Samura off for the second time in like 5 minutes. Chihiro knows better and refuses to engage. Cue Hiruhiko getting wiped. He's the one who doesn't belong and maybe it'll finally sink in.

I don't think he's going down this arc despite experiencing his well-deserved third loss (and losing another arm to boot). Samura leaving Hiruhiko alive at his lowest point ever when he absolutely could have killed him there isn't just mercy, it's probably the set up for Hiruhiko becoming a legitimate threat somehow in the future. The kid's been trounced three times in a row while trying to connect to Chihiro and had all his feelings crushed too. He's definitely got strong motivations to stop messing around with his "freedom" schtick and learn some real combat techniques. I'm putting my bets on Hiruhiko coming back strong as hell despite all the slander he's going to get the next two weeks.

Will he keep Kumeyuri though? Well... jury's hung on that. Interesting that he's got zero compatibility with the sword! Maybe a different blade would suit him better?

Not a great match for the Enchanted Blade you bonded to? Just buffer underflow and glitch into God Mode, bro.

His True Realm for Kumeyuri is manipulating anything as he desires with no respect. This could be an extremely formidable move if he keeps the blade somehow.

It also says something about Uruha, though.

I miss you too, Kunishige.

Play requiring the user to have immense respect for and practise with the objects they manipulate means Uruha was someone who treated things with care most likely. He cooed over Enten and it was funny, but he also placed an accurate "value" on his own life at the train station. He also understood the weight of the Bearer's lives even though Samura didn't agree with him. Not to mention how utterly devastated he was after learning about Kunishige's death. Sensitive soul Uruha's definitely on the board!

As for Chihiro vs. Samura, well.

Time to show your stuff, Chihiro.

My personal (again, unfounded) theory is that Chihiro will win the fight by breaking Tobimune similar to how he broke Kuregumo when fighting Sojo. Samura's a goddamn Dark Souls boss right now with teleportation on top of blisteringly fast swordplay on top of apparently infinite regeneration/revival. Chihiro's good with a sword and the White Purity style now, but he's no match for Samura most likely. So break the thing that makes him so threatening then see what happens next.

Tobimune, just as a reminder, is written as 飛宗 - Soaring Faith (lit. "flying religion"). It's a sword for someone devoted heart, body, and soul to their beliefs and it enables them to act on them. Samura's True Realm being Suzaku is a sign of how sincere he is in not wanting to kill but save! So if Chihiro can break that faith, he can stop Samura in his tracks without needing to kill him. I hope we get another "conversation" sword fight between them where Chihiro wins by shattering his opponent's way of thinking. (Please. I'm begging on my hands and knees.)

I don't think Samura would pick up Kumeyuri to continue the fight. It's not a reflection of who he is and if he's no longer able to use Tobimune, he can't accomplish his goals anyway. He needs the scouting ability to find the Hishaku and the teleportation to catch them. So... maybe, finally, he'll have a chat with Chihiro then Iori.

I'm usually wrong though so this break week is gonna be tough to sit through.

Just One More (Inconsequential) Thing

OK, gay pink frog guy.

The EN TL nerfed Hiruhiko's gayness here a little bit. Not much, just toned down the language and didn't carry over the poetic feel of his inner monologue towards Chihiro.

Obviously I'm not a professional, but my fairly amateur take is here if anyone wants to compare: Hiruhiko: Chihiro, you alone are special. Hiruhiko: You gave me meaning. (Chihiro: No. That's why... we seek to kill each other.) Hiruhiko: For the first time, I want something more- crossing Enchanted Blades and reaching the zenith by killing each other. Hiruhiko: I'll give everything I've got... Hiruhiko: ...to make it happen!!

And here's the original Japanese for folks who want to check my work or do it themselves:

千鉱 お前だけは特別なんだよ

お前は意味くれた (違う だから 殺し合う) そんなお前と初めて妖刀を持ち合い最高潮に殺し合える

そのためならどこまでも 頑張ろうと思える

最高潮 [saikouchou] specifically means climax/peak/zenith/apex so... I chose the more poetic option, but "climax" is perfectly valid too lol. Mostly though, Hiruhiko's being so damn passionate about Chihiro as the first person he's ever cared about beyond himself and I wish that was conveyed more in the official translation is all. He's completely serious about being "friends" by fighting to the death.

OK dear void! A Hakuri sighting and a badass fight with more to come- what a wonderful chapter. I'll see you in two weeks for more blathering of nonsense. Stay well and be kind to yourself until then!

[wings-of-ink]

Checking in - Author Updates - Quick Poll

Hello all! I hope you are all doing well!

I wanted to check-in. I don't have a ton to say on development, just wanted to keep you in the loop on where I am at personally since it tends to affect production speed. I also have a question for you at the bottom.

As I've posted about before, this year has brought about some challenges for me. There aren't a ton of good developments on that front, and my job is being...difficult. The (technical) good news is that I am still employed, but some days I wish I weren't. (I'd much rather be writing IFs, lol.) There is still uncertainty about the future of my job because it is at the mercy of the whims of my government. But what is more pressing currently is that my employer has opted to treat its employees worse (let me tell you, this is a feat because they've never really treated us well), by making our lives and jobs harder. I've made some "worst-case scenario" plans to prepare, so I'm just getting by one day at a time. Oh...and I also have needed to work overtime again, so that's another time suck there. Ugh. In May, I'm taking a couple days of off for me to rest.

In more recent news, I am doing physical therapy...yippy! In recent months I have struggled with my right shoulder. I assumed it was one of those "you're in your late 30s" pains, and I just dealt with it. Don't do that, by the way. I have a very bad habit of just doing with little regard for pain and discomfort. But, it got difficult to hug without pain, and nothing messes with my huggin'. We really don't know what is wrong with my shoulder/arm, but I'm doing virtual (oooh shiny) PT (not the Silent Hill variety) to hopefully correct the issue. If I don't see results, I will need expensive tests and scans. No worries currently, though, I don't think this will slow me down much at all. I can still write and I don't experience any discomfort when I do.

I'm also still working on a coding class, which is self-paced, but I'm sticking to a lesson schedule to make sure I get it done. I would really love to be able to make improvements of my own to GC or even make my own Twine Template someday.

So, in more fun development news, Chapter 6 is growing steadily. And so is Chapter 5, technically. If you missed it, check out this Tumblr ask where I talk a bit about that. The ask and answer contain some slight spoilers for Ch 5 & 6, but nothing too specific.

Chapter 5 is up by a bit over 1500 words, if you're curious, and Chapter 6 is up to over 69k words. I am wrapping up a big moment for Zahn, which might be a bit heavy. After that, there's a more fun moment, which will present a few coding challenges for me, but I'm looking forward to it. *rubs hands together like housefly*

Finally, I have a question for subscribers or those who may want to sub in the future. I find myself wondering what else to post about at times. Especially when I have inordinately busy weeks, I just can't think of things that you may want to see other than peeks at the chapter. I sincerely wish I had more time to add more projects. I have so many ideas kicking around in my head...

So, I was wondering if you were interested in seeing things other than God-Cursed that I have worked on. These would be things that may or may not become much of anything later, so I wasn't sure if there would be much pull to see them (or if it would just be a cruel tease, lol). I have an incomplete IF that I did to help me learn Twine a couple of years ago. I used it to just get acquainted because I am very much a hands-on learner. It's a humorous and simple story (loosely) based on an actual time in my personal life. I have debated about finishing it. I have a couple of others as well where I was playing with a story idea to see how it felt. I also have a complete romance novel which I am slowly editing for publication.

Patreon, Ko-fi links if you want them.

So that's all for me. If anything big happens, I will let you know! ^_^

Take care, everyone!

~Lunan

[trashisstillhere]

You know what? Fuck you.

*uninja’s your ninja team*

Seth and his friends in their normal/civilian forms!

Expect all their clothes still need to be worked on too, I don’t really like them egh. They’re kinda meant to match with their ninja suits colors in a way. Might add a little bit more to them and maybe even a few little changes later on… But so far, they look aight I guess. We’ll see.

They still need last names and stuff as well…. Eh, I’ll worry about that later.

Anyyywayyy… for now, how about I’ll give you guys a few more facts about each of these guys? Mm? :)

——————

- some of the ninjas in the team actually knew each other wayyy before even becoming ninjas! Like for example: Karina and Nolan. Both of them were actually childhood friends!

That’s right. These two knew each other since they were children!! Heck, they didn’t even live in Norrisville back then! They used to live in another town.

They were pretty close. A little boy with a wild imagination involving superhero’s with tons of action and a little girl who loved dancing and musicals with such pretty dresses, especially ballerinas.. yup, just your typical stereotypical boy and girl duo. Yet Even though they have different interests, they still enjoyed hanging out with each other!

Little Nolan even supported little Karina’s big dream of becoming a true ballerina one day! How sweet,,,

They would always hang out with each other whenever they had the chance, up until they became like 13… then suddenly one day, Karina’s family decided to move out of the town. It was a sad day for the poor little duo…

before saying their final goodbyes, they promised themselves one thing: that they would never forget each other no matter what.. and to make fully sure of that, they would forever keep their friendship bracelets.

And with one last big hug, little Karina and her family left town…. And soon moved into a new town that she would live in for the rest of her life and get to finally try achieve her ballerina dreams…Norrisville!

Yup, Karina would grow up in that town… yet sadly not get to become the ballerina she wanted to be thanks to the awful humiliation she had to face…

I didn’t mention it back in the ninja team post but Karina’s parents weren’t really happy about the whole humiliation thing.

They were afraid that it would only get worse from there so they decided to force their daughter to have a new hobby, one that wasn’t so ‘girly’….. she didn’t want it but had no choice at the time…

That new hobby was…. Karate.

Yeah. The new hobby she ended up having just so happens to be the one thing she would already be doing now in the present as the pink ninja. Both looking like a ballerina and doing karate chops and shit. Lmao.

(This part here was a idea for her backstory thought up by @artistic-harlom-world >:33)

Speaking of being the pink Ninja, once she became that and a part of the ninja team, she ended up meeting a certain blue ninja… At first, she didn’t think much of it, just thought it was a new member like her… but once she got a closer look at the blue ninja, she then realised…. It was NOLAN!! Her childhood friend!!

They were both shocked to not only the fact that they were meeting again after so long but also the fact that they were in the same exact team..

“””””

Karina: NOLAN!?

Nolan: KARINA!?

Both: IS THAT REALLY YOU!?

Seth: hold up! You guys actually know each other!?

“”””””

They had a lot to catch up on after that..

And in the future, they may or may not end up being a couple.

two other members who kinda knew each other before the whole ninja team thing were Asher and Ataru. Tho their story isn’t really like the childhood friends… instead, they were just two strangers that saw each other one day. (And it was before Asher got his burn mark btw, when he was 17 and Ataru was 16)

it happened at a cake shop, one that Asher’s aunt, yes, his aunt (who I do not have an name and design for yet ;-;) worked at and he was there too to help her with the customers. That’s where he kinda met Ataru, who just walked right in to check out the cake shop one day.

“””””

Ataru: hmm, I’d like some cheese cake! Oh and for the drink, some coffee!

Asher: uh…aren’t you a bit too young to be having coffee?

Ataru: aren’t you a bit too young to be a high school dropout?

Asher:

Asher: how did you know-

“”””””

Eheh… yeah…. Just happened like that and never really got each other’s names or anything even after Ataru left the shop after eating there… they only saw each other again once they both got to the ninja team. (And Ataru was now at his current age, 17, at this time)

“”””

Asher: wait a minute….have we met before?

Ataru: hmmm….have we?…wait- *gasp* YOU’RE THAT HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT I MET AT THAT CAKE SHOP!!

Nolan: the what?!

Asher: ….did you really had to say that out loud-

“”””

Seth and Berri are the only ones who’s never met any of them or each other before becoming ninjas.

- yes. Asher is, in fact, a high school dropout. (Reason for that is unknown) Thankfully, his aunt was there for him and lets him stay at her house, he helps her with her cake shop in return and still does now. Unfortunately, his ninja job can kinda get in the way now..

- Ataru was a gifted child. This led to his family always having high expectations for him which of course, ended up with him completely burned out… fortunately, his family goes easy on him later on but that doesn’t change the fact that they literally put him to hell and back during it all.

- Berri has been and still is in the metal shop class sometimes! Meaning that they do know…. S.Ward Smith…and Brent… :)

Yes, Berri and Brent know each other! Of course, he does not know anything about them being the yellow ninja and part of the ninja team, S.Ward Smith is aware tho.. but yeah, Berri and Brent met during metal shop class while they were new to it at the time! hehehe,, since then, they became acquaintances! Berri likes Brent’s company while he doesn’t really mind them either, finding their kind personality kinda endearing.

Will they become closer than that later on? Will Brent actually get to know about Berri’s ninja secret? Who knows!

- Seth is adopted! His real parents currently unknown as they put him up to adoption when he was a toddler a long time ago… now, he lives together with his adopted father, a southern man… that sure does look like a cowboy lol. (He doesn’t really have a name and design yet either oof...) But he is a very nice guy, chill and does genuinely care about Seth! He respects his boundaries, his fashion style and everything.

And even though he doesn’t quite admit it, Seth is glad to have this man as his adopted parent…

But…he wishes that back at the adoption center he was in years ago, he wasn’t separated from his baby sister… that’s right, Seth has a biological baby sister who was also put into adoption! Her name being Rosey! (Might change it) Sadly, she was taken by another family without him way before he ended up being adopted himself…

Till this day, he can’t help but wonder where she is now and really hope she’s okay. He also dreams about finally finding her again one day, with or without the ninja suit on..

———

And that’s about it! Maybe I will finally get their last names done and more like each of their families and such one day! No promises tho lol.

[minyard-05]

damocles

me again coming back to type up another word vomit 'essay' about a song i've had on loop for the past ~8 hours.

SO. damocles.

the main thing that stands out to me lyrically is the tense change. like a lot of sleep token's songs have a tendency to be set in the past, as if vessel is recounting feelings and events that can't be undone. from this perspective he picks apart his own emotions and analyses himself, questioning his own existence through the lens of trying to put himself in context for the audience (in some cases this presents itself as almost trying to justify his actions but thats a different post). damocles does have a bit of this, in the bridge with the 'nobody told me' lines, but primarily, it's about what's happening now, how he feels now, and the entire chorus is focused on the future. that uncertainty in the lyricism, and the honesty of lines like 'no one else knows that i've got a problem' is i think what gives the entire song its whole Vibe, and why i think it's probably one of their hardest hitting tracks so far. before, the stories might have been sad, but they were certain. like, we may be doomed but at least we know we're doomed. but in damocles, vessel doesn't know what's happening or where he goes from here, and that's what makes it scary.

another thing it does really well is capture the whole feeling of catastrophising and overthinking, as shown in the chorus:

"When the river runs dry and the curtain is called / How will I know if I can't see the bottom? / Come up for air and choke on it all / No one else knows that I've got a problem / What if I can't get up and stand tall? / What if the diamond days are all gone, and who will I be when the empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten"

a big part of what backs up the uncertainty theme I mentioned earlier is actually the way this part of the song is done technically. the piano is the only instrument alongside vessel's voice as of yet, and it begins softly, mirroring the vocal line in a ballad style, but when the chorus starts, the tempo increases. the entire first chorus happens in the span of about 25 seconds, whereas the first verse lasts twice longer, about 50 seconds. this increase means that the song doesn't feel rushed, but tense, before it slows back down to bring in the drums on verse 2. i don't know about you guys but the first time i listened to it i actually kind of felt a little on edge, because the way it's composed means that it musically raises a question that isn't really answered. in a sense, the chorus never really gets closure, all the questions vessel asks himself don't get any response from sleep, if that's who he's talking to. damocles is telling us a story that doesn't have an ending, not yet.

lyrically though, and this may be somewhat of a self contradiction, but it feels to me like damocles is something of a sequel to caramel. side by side, the songs actually feed fairly well into each other, following similar thematic ideas, but the main split is that caramel is about the pressure of being known and damocles is about the fear of being forgotten. i talked about this already a little in my caramel post but i feel like there's really no way where this song isn't an incredibly personal message from the singer himself, not the character of Vessel.

like let's look at the line from the chorus again: "Who will I be when the empire falls?" and lets take this 'empire' to mean Sleep Token as a project. they've been immensely successful, especially in the past two years, and success for musicians comes as a blessing and a curse. more fans = more people to share your art with and more money gained from concert tickets and merch sales to then fund creating and recording more music, which is all good! however, success also means interest, and interest means critics picking every second of every single apart, it means there will be people who only like you when you're doing one specific thing, and if you deviate from that binary, it will never be as good as your old stuff. sleep token are not just a metal band, and damocles isn't a metal song, and the more you experiment with new styles and techniques in your art, the higher the chances you will alienate people who don't like your new stuff. unfortunately, a lot of people LOVE to voice this dislike online, and with the internet being the behemoth that it is, it's easier for artists to see those critiques. and yeah, fuck the haters, create what makes you happy, i'm all for that, but from an artist's perspective that's way easier said than done. all this to say that the speed at which sleep token gained mainstream popularity, and all the bullshit that comes with it, is undeniably going to take a toll on the musicians themselves.

they've been anonymous throughout their whole career thus far, and have been explicit in saying that choice was made to protect their personal privacy AS IS THEIR RIGHT. but i'm wondering if damocles is in part about the fact that while they stay anonymous to stop Sleep Token from taking over their lives, it kind of feels like it did anyway. because while you can disconnect from the internet and not look at the comments or the critics, there is always this nagging question at the back of your mind that says is it good enough? do they like it? do they like me? did i get it right? am i good enough?. fame is fickle, and if you're not constantly keeping yourself afloat, the tide will drop you. so to me, "Who will I be when the empire falls? / Wake up alone, and I'll be forgotten" sounds like vessel wondering if he's already written himself over in the context of the band, and when 'the empire falls', i.e, when the band ends, does he go back to his normal life? does he start over again? did any of it ever matter?

and the uncertainty comes back, because maybe he doesn't know when the empire will fall, maybe he doesn't want it to. but he is Damocles now, on his throne he looks over the empire, and he waits for the sword to drop.

[sidebar: in the original story of Damocles, he was a courtier of Dionysius (not the god), and flattered his king, essentially saying he was fortunate and blessed to have so much power. Dionysius offered Damocles the chance to sit on his throne for a day, but he had a sword suspended over it by a single horsehair. the moral of the story is that it's a lot more work than it looks to be a leader, and great ones will always have enemies, dangers that are just out of sight but ever-present. Sleep & Vessel parallels anyone????]

MAYBE that's a stretch. but i'm not done because now i want to talk about the bridge.

"And nobody told me I'd be begging for relief / When what is silent to you feels like it's screaming to me / Well, nobody told me I'd get tired of myself / When it all looks like Heaven, but it feels like hell"

THIS is where i am getting the strongest caramel parallel (ha). this is explicitly about chasing this golden promise of fame and love, only to catch it and realise it's burning you. the vocals here are melodic but to me it almost sounds quietly angry as well, like vessel can't openly scream 'nobody warned me', so he sings it instead ("too blessed to be caught ungrateful"). and he's angry because all he wanted to do was make music and share it with people, but Sleep Token isn't just a band anymore, it's also this huge collective of fans that it's built, and when something like that spirals out of control, you can't easily get it back. vessel's anger comes from the fact that he never started this wanting to write songs about how much it hurts to keep doing this. it was supposed to be an outlet and a way to make something beautiful out of pre-existing pain, but now it's come full circle and is the new cause, rather than the cure.

anyway. those are my damocles thoughts somewhat articulated but i may come back to them. i need a whole new post just talking about that drum mix fr

[peakyrain]

So i just read your recent post and I do relate a lot actually..mostly the sabotaging part and being confortable in your own misery..being comfortable with being embarrassed hurt and abused how do i change

⭒ how can you reprogram and change your deeply engrained negative subconscious beliefs?

glad you asked! i’m gonna do my best to answer this as someone who took pleasure in feeling like a victim and drowning in my own misery

i: intention

firstly and most importantly imo, i would advise you to decide. decide that you're going to make a change and sit w/ it for a minute if you need.

set the intention by writing it down on your phone or on paper. write your goal and that you're going to become successful and succeed—that you have no other choice but to succeed. this is important because when you set a goal for yourself and decide, you're less likely to back off than if you didn't set the intention.

once you get that checked off, continue by doing the following steps (some inspired by ahmadsstory on tt!!):

ii: journaling

i've talked about journaling on my blog before and how you should write down your desires and affirmations on paper, but in this case it's a little bit different.

the best way to fully understand yourself, your feelings and actions, you have to reflect thoroughly and understand why you feel the way that you do. following this, you assess your own situation as if you're a third-person party—step into your desired self for a moment and act like them.

what this does is that it makes you analyze and understand what was wrong w/ the actions you took, thoughts and steps that don't align w/ what you want out of your life. if your desired self is a confident person then they wouldn't be thinking thoughts like: "nothing works out for me" and "i'll never succeed"

iii: the many "why's"

this step is based on the previous—as soon as you list something that is emotionally charged, you ask yourself why, and you keep asking why until you uncover the deeply rooted things that are stopping you from being your desired self.

example:

-

i felt scared and anxious to raise my hand in class today

okay, why?

because i was scared i might give the wrong answer

why?

because last time i raised my hand i gave the teacher the wrong answer and i was laughed at and made fun of and it made me feel dumb

why did it make you feel dumb?

…

-

and the you keep going and going until you understand that it was never about anyone but you and your low self-worth. it makes you realize that the problem is never actually the problem.

this strategy really helps you get to the root of the issue and help you solve it. i've done this myself and i have to say, it really works wonders, especially when you take your time and write exactly how you felt using multiple pages.

i like to think of it as having a free therapy session w/ yourself :)

iv: visualization

sit w/ yourself and imagine your future self giving you advice. visualization is a massively powerful tool that can help you understand why certain things are happening in your subconscious.

also! imagine your desired self thriving and living the life that you dream of. what is this person doing? how do they look? how do they dress? etc. etc.

i recently made a post about how visualization is scientifically proven to help you achieve your goals and that it has a vast impact on you both physically and mentally. so use your mind to visualize a good life!!

v: distinction between the old you vs the new you

if you're someone who struggles w/ a bad temper and belittling yourself over small things, such a dropping something on the floor or making minor mistakes, you have to watch how you speak to yourself in those specific moments. is it a typical "ugh, i'm so stupid" or is it a "it's okay—happens to the best of us"?

you have to understand, speaking to yourself nicely and being gentle is so much more important than you think. your subconscious does not care or understand if you're joking or being serious, if you keep feeding it negative input about yourself, then it's going to believe that and support you in that assumption.

so stop playing the victim.

instead, you should begin w/ nice talk to yourself and look for it consciously. whenever you find yourself speaking negatively about yourself say: "no, that's what the old me would say and think, while the new me thinks this" no matter how small this action seems, you're telling yourself that you're not the old you anymore, and it starts the momentum towards your new self image, someone better—happier.

to add on to the fifth point!

whenever you start doing these micro actions, gather proof that you're a new version of yourself, document them and pay mind to them. "the old would do this, while the new me did this"

this gathers new data that your subconscious picks up and uses to determine your new self worth, because if you're someone w/ low self-worth, that data comes from somewhere, right?

it comes from proof you've gathered your whole life about shit going wrong and everything never working for you, but now you have the opportunity to change that and build a better self image.

vi: feeling bad for yourself + sad music

oh boy, how i LOVED listening to sad music and imagining sad scenarios. i know this is gonna hit someone hard, but i have to say—no more sad songs and imagining the most brutal angst.

you have to understand that dwelling on the past and feeling bad to yourself is never gonna stop if you keep finding comfort in it, and music is a primary reason why it feels so good. that's exactly why you need to completely cut out sad music or imagining angst while listening.

first, it's so unhealthy for you. second, if you want to change, you've gotta make sacrifices, and in this case, it's music. i know exactly how it feels, but it works. i haven't felt sad in so long since i cut out sad music and refuse to use it to imagine sad scenarios. you don’t realize how much misery music causes until you really sit and think about it.

⭒ the shift

once you start seeing a difference in your thinking and how you feel about yourself, you're going to realize that you are in fact worthy of success and your desires. you're automatically going to start helping yourself instead of sabotaging, because now you believe you deserve success, and your subconscious is now on your team.

nothing is keeping you from your goals anymore and you're free to have whatever you desire :)

[swiiivet-screamathon]

Addendum: What does the Sage of Truth skin tell us about Shadow Milk?

Hi, yeah, noticed a uh, mistake, of mine lmao

In the og post I mentioned that I wasn't certain what the Sage was about, as it surely wasnt the past and was unlikely to be the future

but turns out thats quite obviously his silhouette right there

So assuming that this isnt some fabrication from Elder Faerie and is indeed proper canon, that's a flashback, not a reconstruction

That the Sage of Truth is Canonically Pre-Beast Shadow Milk, we can then more confidently start making assumptions and deductions with that groundwork

Now I still hold my ground from the original post that they are very very similar to each other, and having picked at his character thoroughly through my own writings I can decently confidently say that the Character of Smilk has never changed, the only thing Beast-ifying did for him was change his Worldview

He is still playful "Well, well, well! Are we ready for some tomfoolery?" "Now now, I'm not like those other academics." "Time for some real DRAMA!" "Ugh, come on! Why do you refuse enlightenment?!" "Liar, liar, pants on fire!" "Aright, let's put your knowledge to the test!" "A Fount of Knowldge. A-who could that be?!"

He is still cheeky, condescending at times "Think! What if all yoru life is a lie?" "Do I really need to spell out everything? Come on, think!" "Oh no, you got tricked? (Blows raspberry) Well, TOO BAD!" "Why does everyone try so hard to hide their ignorance? Tsk!" "If I told you I'm a liar, would that be a lie...?"

He still holds his beliefs with confidence "The Cookie of Truth? That's-a-me!" "Hope is nothing else but a cheap trick of the mind!" "The Truth is born in dispute." "We all live for some spicy drama, amirite?" "Admitting your ignorance is the first steps towards the Truth!" "A tiny droplet of deceit can bring down a might empire." "The key to the greatest theorem is often... pretty small!" "Truth is... the world is built upon lies." "I can always find an answer. Even if it means "no answer"." "A blade's edge is what seperates Truth from Deceit." "The more you know, the less you know!" "The arts, academia, technology, magic... Truth exists everywhere!" "The Truth reveals itself through creation!" "Hogwash, rubbish, BOLONEY! I will not tolerate any!" "See the Truth, and you shall know all!"

He still performs theatrics "Let the show BEGIN!" "Let the show begin!" "Why the looooong face?" "Tis I, your humble jester, here to brighten up your mood!" (Done through sing-song) "The arts, academia, technology, magic... Truth exists everywhere!" "Well, well, well! Are we ready for some tomfoolery?" "A WOLF!!! HELP! A WOLF! ... He he..."

He still likes showing off and being center of attention, people finding him specifically important and making himself important "Excuse me? I'm so sorry to disturb you... But I'm still THE MAIN CHARACTER here!" "There you are! Time for some magic!" "Welcome, folks! Ready for some giggles?" "Who's hungry for knowledge? (Oh!) Come 'ere!" "Whoah, PAL! You don't wanna get on my BAD side!" "Ooooh, are you proposing a debate? Alright, but no backsies!" "Fool me once? Crumbling to see you try!" "Think I'm wrong? Very well, present your case!" "You want in on a scrumptious little secret, mm?" "Ah, the origins of magic! Buckle up, you're in for a ride!" "Raise the curtains! The show begins...!"

There's also a belief that these desires are natural that I didn't mention last time "Ever told a lie? Then we're pals!" "Craving for the Truth is as natural as simply existing!"

And a very curious part to me, is that he indulged in creative works, like, at all, "Art can heal the soul!" "Playwright, poet, actor, and sage! All is MOI!"

I'll elaborate on that in a minute

Like at no point does any of Sage's dialogue ever come across as something that'd be out of character for Smilk, although he might not say those exact words in that order, he's not speaking with the intonation or intention of someone like Cacao and he speaks his words. As a person he has not fundamentally changed. At most he's become more theatrical and a little less... demeaning? Not holding others to a standard. Because unlike Sage where he wanted others to try to value the Truth and was disappointed when they wouldn't-- Smilk is confident that you are a liar, that everyone is a liar, so has no reason to be disappointed when you tell the truth because the moment you spoke a lie, something he believes everyone to have done, then you are permanently labelled a liar, you will almost certainly already have his mark before you ever met. But that's not exactly a character upheaval by any means.

The only thing we're really missing from Sage is the loneliness and anger that riddles Smilk, but given he doesn't demonstrate it either in the overworld its hard to make any judgements on how Sage feels, if he's either joyous to have followers or if he feels isolated for having no one on his level intellectually, if he's really just a chill guy now and doesn't ever get angry or if he does have specific triggers that send him into violent outbursts and we just happen to never encounter them-- any comment beyond "they seem to differ in this aspect" would just be assuming, not deducing.

So, what other information can we garner if so far the only difference we've found is that one believes in the Truth and the other Deceit?

Well we can start with a pretty basic exercise, their differences in behaviour physically.

With Smilk the more physically intensive the task the more upset he is about doing it, with the easier jobs he seems considerably more bored. The one time he stands on solid ground is when he's hammering, where he exerts the absolute least amount of effort possible with the tiniest tool out of all the ones he uses. The only one he enjoys is the one he can be theatrical with, demonstrating to at least some capacity, (though canonicity questionable given this is on kingdom grounds and not in the story) that he's willing to do things for others if it means he gets to do what he wants. He'll absolute shill for you if it means he can go hogwild w it lol.

Sage comparatively has normal sized tools and puts in reasonable effort when doing all the tasks, seeming either neutrally pleasant with most of the intensive activities whilst enjoying the easier ones considerably. He also stands on solid ground for almost half the tasks, implying less of a need to rely on his flying abilities compared to Smilk. Given his only unique expression being calm that also happens to mirror Smilk's perfectly (Leaning back, cross-legged, leaning on the other arm) is when watering flowers. It thus becomes possible to deduce that he might find watering flowers relaxing, possibly even in the present day, and that there's another reason that has nothing to do with watering of why he's seemingly not interested in the activity in present day.

It also brings up an interesting question, if we know that Sage is Smilk in the past, canon and all, then who is the other guy? The guy I claimed to be the Fount of Knowledge?

And I would still argue that to be the Fount, and I would still argue that Sage is not the Fount.

A key part of their differences is Sage's lack of hair eyes, the only eye iconography in their actual design is on their hat and staff, neither of which do a whole lot of blinking in any capacity. And given that the hat has both closed and open eyes I don't think it's too wild to say that the connections between him and eyes are superficial at best, nothing beyond most of our own assumptions when it comes to truth and lies, that you keep your eyes open to see the truth of the world and close them to hide from the truth, so him being the representative of knowledge would of course have both facets available to him, not that much deeper than that.

There are a couple things we can automatically deduce from the very little we know of the Fount:

He Had at some point swapped from White to Black clothes. The whiteness of his hair had lessened and it's now its 3 pronged state, it still has the galaxy pattern that the sage does and the gradient seems to stay darker for longer. He still has the forehead symbol. He at some point swapped the Souljam's placement off his chest and onto his staff. Eye iconography is stronger but has not yet adorned his hair. The elements are important somehow as they show up in the bg. During this time he still had followers but they one by one 'ate the apple' and abandoned Fount's teachings to embrace lying. His staff is still a key.

The only thing I feel confident in deducing is that this is just before the beast-ening, this is what he looked like the final days before he too succumbed and chose the path of the beast. And although less confident I feel confident enough to deduce that something actionable happened between Sage & Fount, and I think whatever that was is the cause of the hair split, the cause of the eye iconography becoming more prevalent and most likely the cause of everyone abandoning his teachings; though if I try to argue that further we leave analysis and enter headcanon so lol.

And a final piece to note, is that they both have access to the other-realm, shown in their rabbit idle, although Sage has some gold streaks in theirs. Which although not inherently notable as I'm like, a little confident that it's just the Souljam's externalized land, "bigger on the inside blue box rock", I do find it mildly notable though because either he got it from the witches, implying that such a power would in some capacity help them out when it comes to managing the world, creation and/or his ability for knowledge-- Or as a fresh cookie he decided to gain that power through other means somehow, how he would do that I'm not particularly confident, but I don't think that detail should be overlooked at all.

Getting back to thing I mentioned earlier, the strangeness of Sage participating in the arts, is from a thing I noticed that made me actually write this thing, its been sitting in my drafts for ages lol.

And that's a connection between all the beasts' understanding of their own virtue and something that consistently trips them up about it, something I had accidentally laid the groundwork for.

Sbice from day one was heralded for his combat, change has always since he popped out of the oven been defined by slaughter, which as I pointed out in part 1 is not the only way change exists. Moving to a new place is change, having a child is change, even just tiny things like hanging up a new picture up on the wall is change, none of these things have anything at all to do with death but are all still changes in someone's life. But Sbice never got that aspect of his virtue.

Mystic granted wishes for everyone in the name of volition, or, well, not everyone, not those who were cruel and evil. Volition still encapsulates those people, they still enact upon their own volition to be terrible, awful people. Someone chose to assault a guy, another chose to shoot a stranger, a third chose to torture an innocent; these things all still fall under volition. But Mystic couldn't handle that.

And my hypothesis as to why he's the Sage of Truth is that he believed knowledge was synonymous with the truth, that lying wasn't knowledge-- but it is. If I tell you the world is shaped like a bowl of spaghetti you now know that information, its not the truth but you still know that I told you that. Truth is also not objective in any way, time is relative, gravity is relative, our perspectives are relative, our lives is relative, the truth will and does change depending on dozens and hundreds of factors. I could tell you that it is false and untrue if I say the statement "I am a cis man." but that is true for someone who's actually a cis man, someones truth is not everyones truth. Which is why his participation and respect for the arts is so interesting to me, because they are inherently a fabrication of truth, within the world of the art anything can be true, but it's almost never, ever true for the real world. Even stuff like auto-biographies or documentaries will inherently be skewed by the fact that you're just taking a portion of existence, a tiny sliver of it, that inherently removes infinite amount of context which is required to define 100% of the media as "true"-- But the type of art he consumes are stage plays, a medium that's inherently deceitful by a mile, because a lot of the time it asks the audience for things that aren't real, you apply your suspension of disbelief when watching a play. The actors say they're in a castle when really they're on an elevated wooden platform, there are no castles in the vicinity, and that king you're speaking to certainly has no royal credentials I'm aware of! So what gives? Is my hypothesis flawed and there is no problem Sage trips over? Not quite-- I think the case is that he's in the same boat as Mystic, knowledge is good! But not all knowledge. Theaters and Media in general are consensual lying, you go there expecting to be lied to, and those lies are often the whole appeal of going. But non consensual lies, which still fit under the definition of knowledge, thats no good-- We can also take the deductions backwards too, we know that Smilk believes that 'all lies work best with drops of truth in them' and 'truth can be dismantled and ruined if a single drop of deceit is inlaid', he believes that because that's the lesson he learnt as the Sage, that his truth wasn't good enough to stand on its own, that fact by itself isn't won't convince anyone ... Or, well, the reason why he learnt that lesson was because of other cookies, as they abandoned his teachings to pursue the sweetness of deceit, his truths stopped mattering, fewer and fewer cared about them anymore, they weren't as good as the lies that were told. He focused so hard on the importance of truth and fact with some indulgence in the arts that the rest of knowledge was neglected, leading cookies to search for that instead. One must accept all knowledge, but Truth is all that mattered to Sage.

There's not else a ton of note what I can tell, the bond story still isn't particularly relevant unless we really want to fanfic some "Pv has lived through the same cycle of history since the dawn of cookie-time" or an alternative "Pv is a standin for a real past figure without being the literal figure but smilk is the literal figure of smilk" but that's insane for an analysis who's trying to asses facts lmao

So given all the info that was presented in part 1 and now with this Sage information, what can that tell us about Smilk's Redemption possibilities?

It doesn't give us a ton to work off of, since redemption isn't a circle, it's very unlikely that a redeemed Smilk would just be Sage again, they'd probably look different from one another.

It does give the implication that the more gold accents Smilk gets the more "good" he is but shhh thats just patterns not deductions lmao.

What it does mean is that its incredibly likely that the lesson Smilk has to learn to be redeemed is the exact same lesson that Pv learnt, that both are important; you cannot abandon deceit and lies, it's a part of existence, being conscious and having autonomy-- plus his students and listeners abandoning him are proof that trying to abandon it once more will simply repeat history. But of course you cannot abandon the truth either, existing in a world without truth is impossible, its one of those ideas thats impossible to imagine, same as 'imagine nothing, no not blackness, actual nothing', facts are facts of existing, things just are, a rock will exist, space will exist, atoms will exist, those are all facts and truths of the everything. Although as discussed in the part 1 he absolutely hasn't at his core abandoned truth, in this very addendum I explained that he recognizes the importance of truth in lies, someone who has denounced truth completely wouldn't believe such a thing, so given he's clearly swimmin in the deceit sauce and believes in the value of truth what gives? What he has to learn is why the truth is so important to fight for to begin w, lies are comforting and sweet, they alleviate your fears and solve your problems, what does the truth have in it that makes it good, that makes it worthwhile? Because without an answer to that question it automatically makes deceit seem like the better choice, there's reason to fall for it, and none for the truth. He will never recover if he doesn't figure out the answer.

And yk what, since we're at the end of the post I'll indulge a bit and go on a wild tangent-- If I'm comparing them anyways why not go on a wild tangent and demonstrate the reasoning as to why I always draw Smilk w disembodied limbs-- It has literally nothing to do w Smilk redemption but if we're going deep dive into Sage then why not lmao

Though first lets tackle the easier out of the two, demonstrating is his neckless-ness

Don't get scared about his stretched head I took 10 tries to get a clear enough screenshot I'm not tryin again lmao

If simply seeing him plop his head off isn't proof enough for you, it's a magic trick or somethin, heads not really detached at all times-- well then technically I can't prove that outright, but I can say it'd be strange if that was a spell he was pulling off every single second he lives, leading me to question whether the difference is semantics at that point anyways lol

Given what we know of cookies who show their body/head connections clearly, both old and new cookies, it is shown that the head tends to sink in just a little bit into the body, having the shoulders come out from the theoretical lower jaw of the cookies

And to me I just don't see that like, at all on Smilk's outfit, if I were to imagine what he'd look like taking off the ruff I don't think the shoulders would go that high, because w/o the souljam being in the way we'd be able to see his entire head, it doesn't go that far down; I see picture 1. And especially if we believe picture 2 to be correct and it does indeed connect, meaning the shoulders have to raise up through the thickness of the ruff, I believe it would then make complete sense if when Smilk detached his head we would see his body through the neck hole, it has to be big enough to fit his entire fat neck after all. But it doesn't, it just shows roughly where the neck hole should be, but not only does it not show the body in any capacity it's also by far too deep to fit his neck in, that hole depth is for someone with a neck as tall as people, not a species like cookies where saying they have a neck at all is dubious at best.

Hopefully no doubts here? I don't think this should have to be headcanon at all or even somethin I have to prove, but if ya wanna analyse ya gotta back your stances up.

Now then, what about those hands?

(Me lookin through my sources finding him do a hairflick might be the best thing to come out of this addendum lmao)

What I could find this is every single instance where we should be able to very clearly see the arms got into the ruff, and there's 2 things I need to prove.

That the ruff is indeed hollow to the same capacity the the neck ruff is, where we would actually see the arms at all in the first place, and that it isn't simply a stylistic choice.

We'll get to the second part of that after, because the first part is trickier to say for certain to me. All of the images except for 2 shows a reasonable amount of "That hand is not connected to an arm, I should be seeing that arm if it was" to me, but nothing really definitive as proof of much of anything. The two in question are these ones.

(The right image is control, if we should view anything as a "definitive" design it should probably be that one)

Top left looks like in any reasonable sane universe there should absolutely be an arm poking through to some capacity, his hand is too far away from the ruff to all the explanation that the ruff is simply hiding the arm like it's possible to argue in most of the other images.

The bottom left one however is, strange-- It is art from the game so dismissing it outright feels incorrect to do, but that's still not his design? His arm ruffs don't curve inwards like a cone like that, it can be up in the air what that slightly darker blue tone is inside the ruff but that tone definitively does exist like, at all lol, so why it wasn't drawn in that instance is alluding me.

If that's not conclusive enough, which fair, we can tackle the second question; perhaps it is just stylization after all, so how do they treat similar scenarios? Smilk ain't the only sleeved character who holds something after all.

This is what I can tell every cookie that applies for our question

Cookies that have long enough sleeves and big enough objects to hide the arm in the first place that are holding objects with their hands wrapped behind the object, and it seems that there are a lot of "there r no rules" here.

Match, Pearl & Pomegranate being the least helpful as they don't have revealed hands at all

Alchemy, Clover, Velvet, Snow & Sapphire all have their arms/hand connections visible, although harder to spot on some than others

Cacao, Choco, Onion & Herb have objects that are too big to be able to see anything anyways

Cotton can be hard to tell but every time she puts her lamp down she shows that she has her arm out at all times

I misinterpreted Prune's design there, he doesn't wear sleeves he wears gloves, so duh do we get several perspectives of his arms showing, they're not hidden in any way after all lol-- I also misinterpreted Yam's design, it looked like it was a hollow void the same as Smilk's but it seems that it was just an attempt and really bad failure at perspective, that's supposed to be a glove/gauntlet but because of the perspective fail it now looks like it's much much wider than it actually is

Mint has an even worse case of disembodied hand than Smilk does but it does very much seem to be a strange perspective issue rather than it missing completely

Our closest matches imo are Frost Queen, Affogato, Cream Puff, Rebel, Vampire & Pure Vanilla, Pvs already being disqualified because his hand shape is drawn differently, unlike the half circle the others get he gets this slanted raindrop shape, implying the arm perfectly adequately. If we look at even a single piece of art for them though, and uh

Whoops, I can see some arms in those arts, although rebel looks like he got a third elbow lmao-- all duds there

Or wait, hold on, Vampire isn't there... What's that supposed to mean op?

Well apparently it means that Vampire has like, 4 pieces of official art and exactly 0 opportunities in any of his sprites to show off his arms in any manner, he always holds his glass the very exact same way or his hand is just barely peeking out from the sleeve. It never looks obviously wrong like it does w Smilk, it doesn't ever give the impression that beneath his sleeves we would find a lack of wrists and other extremities-- Mguy just needs an event sometime soon ig lol

So given all of our examples for how CRK handles this type of character design, unless Vampire wants to disprove us somehow I don't think there's a strong enough argument to say this is within their m/o, and that Smilk should in some capacity have their arms shown

And finally, why I brought this up in the Sage section at all, is because of 2 points, one regarding to each limb lol

The first is what made me think of it in the first place, that Sage replaced the juggle animation with a new one, so now the only evidence to the disconnected head is the same body proportion issue that was mentioned previously, but making any conclusions from that would be jumping too large of a hurdle I think-- though I wouldn't call anyone out if they came to the conclusion that if asked Sage couldn't juggle his head because it's thoroughly attatched

For me though the hands feel more compelling

To me that looks incredibly obvious that it makes complete sense that Sage's hand continues under the sleeve, and the thing that's cutting it off is not a vague nebulous space but it's the lineart, the fact that the lineart color is the same color as the inside of the sleeve is what makes it look like it disappears prematurely but recolor the linart to be a distinct color and it will look like it makes complete sense

The closest angle we have with the same posed hand is that surprised one, that hand is not bent it is stretched out. The lineart of the ruff and the strange void thing are not the same color, those two things should be two distinct planes of the object, that hand should continue up to the lineart if there was an arm to connect to.

I rest my case ^^

And also for funsies the puppet looks like it has arms better than any present day Smilk's do lol

(warning the keep reading section is really really long -- also bestie logged into the pc vers of tumbrlr just so i could ensure i got this written out how i wanted lmao)

ok i recognize that this might be a contentious subject given how my for you page has been, so just like mini warning i am very fragile & scared so pls dont be too mean if you disagree w me here lol

but i just have to write about it in a fashion that like, anyone can read about it? the thoughts are holding me in a chokehold and i need to be let free so let me vent lmao

ever since i rejoined crk w the intent of dissecting its story i wanna see when they fix the gaping plot hole w white lily lmao i've been writing out my complaints & strange things i've noticed, but one of the things i wrote there is about this subject:

I think out of our current known beasts, Shadow Milk has the highest possibility of being redeemed.

i'll immediately mention that I recognize my bias, i like the guy, i think he a goofy feller who chews the scenery really really hard and is in love w his own voice cause he has so much charm in his way of speakin, so ofc that automatically has to be taken account when i write this up, but i make this claim from the facts i know of with reasonable assumptions based off the facts, or at least i am trying to-- if it's any assurance I also like handsome jack & springtrap but think redemption is off the table for them, this is not coming from "i want every character i like to be a good guy" i do genuinely think it's possible. i also very much know "i just wanna" is not a valid argument lmao-- also quick mention I haven't finished chap 3 of oddessy or the dragon book, so if im missin info you have to wait for an addendum lol

anyways, i think the easiest point is to mention the contrast between him & the other beasts, as to prove why he's the most likely I have to adequately demonstrate why i think the others arent as likely, and I think it will also be decent framework to the rest of my conclusions

the one I think has absolute negative chance of being redeemed is Burning Spice, because no part of him to me seems like he ever wanted to or presently want to be his original virtue. I genuinely think if he never had the virtue thrust upon him he would've never accepted it at all ever; he was one of the first cookies so he got the title of Change, not because he was particularly specially suited for it.

Even in his very own description it mentions he was hailed as a hero because of how much he fought, he has for all of his life only wanted to fight, and used the virtue as an excuse and justification for his actions from the very beginning, one that he sort of believed in to some extent, otherwise he would've never kept any civilization alive ever at all, but he wouldn't have been so gungho about combat for all of his life if he truly believed in change, one who did represent it would recognize that the cycle of life and death does not have to be perpetuated by violence or combat, nor does all change have to involve the death of another.

He also has his past the most secretive out of the 3, the only hint i noticed of his past displayed in the present day was the single mural that we saw the flashback through, which the only way we saw the flashback at all was through the souljam, meaning only his other half had ever the chance of learning what he was like back in the day and no one else. The only way you would even know that the mural is about the past is the 6 arms (since the rest of it depicts cookies burning up into ashes, Sheese describes it as looking like a carnage after all) which is something im not sure if present day sbice can do, but it also doesn't strike me as something the citizens would assume means he was originally a virtue either, it'd probably just be read as sbice being far more powerful than they think of him as.

I don't think he should've ever gotten the title of a virtue, I don't think if given the choice he would've accepted the virtue, and I don't think he ever 100% believed in the virtue and from day 1 has used it as an excuse to satiate his desires.

Speaking of his other half, i dont think there's any universe where Gheese would ever forgive him either, if she won't even forgive one of her best friends for something she shouldn't blame her for I'll try to not get hung up on lily too much sry lmao, required her paradise to fall to war and even then barely got convinced and that he physically mutilated her? There's no way she would ever look past Sbice's actions in a million years, which isn't a great habit to have if you want to redeem someone. So yeah, I think Sbice is off the table as possible candidates lol

Mystic is a different story from Sbice, and will probably end up being the second most likely, including the unreleased beasts.

I've got no idea how they're gonna make sloth into a villain, girlie who does nothin and can't bring themselves to do anythin at all doesn't really feel like someone who can cause much of a fight, and depending on the definition of sloth you're workin w you can attribute it to resting, which is important to any fighter. But especially since their original virtue is happiness I'm presuming sloth is going to be presented very similarly to Gheese's paradise, one w lavish existence, having all your needs met, drowning in fulfilment and no one has to struggle, because surely that leads to bliss-- which still doesn't make me read them as a villain to me, which yk, makes redeeming pretty pointless?

And mr Silence is uh, idk..? What the deal is? I don't read solidarity as a virtue or silence as a sin, i think tumblr knows more than most the benefit of silence actually lmao-- takin the quickest of googles to recheck my definition of solidarity ig its supposed to be unity? so like, teamwork? ig mby the more plain wording of the guy is virtue of Communication and then beast of Not Communicating, which ig I can see how that could make the girlie a villain if its done deliberately, which makes redemption I think at least a little less likely than Mystic but more likely than Sbice.

Anyways!! Tangent ahoy! Point is, I think Mystic is second most likely to be redeemed lmao

Both Smilk & Mystic has the same thing in common that makes me think that they're the likeliest to be redeemed: the continued belief in a 'good', non-beastly trait.

(I should preface that I saw Mystic's story as it was released, but I am rechecking through the logs just to make sure I'm not bein a blatant dumbass, but I might've missed somethin by skimming through the logs)

With Mystic though she doesn't have a ton of connection with Volition in the present day but she does have some-- compared to the past which is the inverse where she mostly had a connection w it but did waver, but only by a very slight amount, one that comes along with every idea of 'freedom': the dissonance between free action vs humanity/personhood. But in this situation unlike a lot of other examples its become her achilles heel. Some people's free will is to assault, murder, harass, maim, damage, rob, whatever else, and hell her (probably) supposed friend Sbice was most likely one of those people.

So what was the answer to deal with the people who were violent and cruel? She took their volition away, she wouldn't give them their wish, her method of displaying her virtue, completely going against it.

(if you want to argue that she did not choose to not grant their wishes but was instead physically unable because of her cocooning then she would still be making a choice to not fulfill her virtue for all cookies which was her goal, but i dont think that's that case anyways)

It's difficult to encapsulate how I believe she viewed her own virtue, I think she fully believed in the virtue in principle, the idea of free will is a good thing after all! Taking away people's free will is a bad thing! But the moment it had to be played out in practice it all fell apart for her, showing that she never really truly believed in it as a real concept along w its consequences, only the image of it, what she wanted it to be, not what it truly was

No, what Mystic wants is Cacao's virtue, Resolution, one of the earliest mentions what I can tell is Haetae pitting his & her resolution against each other, but it's something brought up time and time again, and something she displays over and over. It's something I saw about when the chapter was being released, she's really bad at the whole Apathy thing,

(I am running against the 30 image mark constantly, I have to trim this down, sorry lol, keep on reading to understand my formatting, also sorry if some of the order is incorrect I'm not double checking the chronological events of all these quotes beyond my first check before I had to remove the screenshots, I'm just trusting me from a couple hrs ago lol)

??? (Mystic): It is my purpose to protect Cookies with my unwavering willpower and lead them to Paradise. I enclosed myself in a cocoon for the sake of my followers. And yet the world seen from inside the cocoon was far from pure... Cookies putting their own green first, pushing and shoving to have their own wish fulfilled before anyone else...Witnessing this, my heart grew forlorn and empty. At first I believed this emptiness would crumble my dough, but my enclosed cocoon remained strong and intact throughout the ages. Time comes and goes as Cookies are baked and crumble once again... But I learned how to overcome time itself simply by being me. Just as I was one step away from becoming the Leavened One... Someone spread a false rumor that my cocoon was full of treasures. Mystic Flour Cookie: The cocoon was cut open with one slash of a sword. "Fake immortal," they said, just like you. ... What do you think of my story? Does it not make you feel... like everything is futile? No matter how strong your resolve is, no matter how hard you try, this world will never change. *** Mystic Flour Cookie: My soul jam, come to me. Return to your rightful owner. *** Mystic Flour Cookie: At last, I am complete. I can feel the force of Volition within. Mystic Flour Cookie: Return to nothing, as if you never existed in the first place. This is the world of perfect apathy... that I've been dreaming of. ***

she has desires/dreams of her own, hell she wants her souljam more than anything, the whole reason she was in the cocoon was for her people, one of the first things she says after bein released from the cocoon is a story where she reiterates her purpose & explains the reason she didn't kill herself was because of her resolution. the story itself is dumb as well, she concludes that everything is futile because, checks notes, some guys enacted upon their own volition? that story should be one that enforces your virtue not prove it doesn't work

bestie goes from "resolution? who's she? a worthless cause?" to "that resolution is mine actually" in like 2 sentences, she's a perpetually ideologically conflicted char

She explains a little bit as well in the beginning, how she came to the conclusion, one that once again doesn't go against her own virtue: that when one desire is met, you don't just cease to exist and will probably want more things ever in your life, which is the premise of volition? If you didn't have free will you wouldn't have the option to gain new desires, you couldn't achieve things you want w/o having the capacity and freedom to want, this whole ordeal is a part of the print, yet she takes it as a reason to believe everything is meaningless and nothing will change, revealing she's really lost the plot because she is looking insanely zoomed out lmao

as established later on, she sees every action as meaningless in the wake of infinity, but that would be more equatable as antithetical to volition, as the ability to make choices requires a timeframe, but it's not antithetical to apathy, as you can very much see infinity in an apathetic light but that is a choice you're making, ironically. You can see infinite as wonderous, as scary, as aspirational, as most emotions really-- personally i see infinity as worth fighting for, i think immortality is pretty neat, and frankly i dont think thats very apathetic of me lol

idk if you realized this mystic, but you're not asking for apathy *and* the removal of volition in any these sentiments, youre actually asking for complacency, which doesn't have to be antithetical to apathy but they're very close siblings, as you can be happy with what you have, ie not apathetic, and not want anything more, ie complacent, but because mystic doesn't realize any of this they act like apathy will solve the problem of bad people doing bad things, so will use the power of resolution to ensure that her idea of apathy, total death and later the acquisition of the souljam, will be enacted, because that's totally very apathetic of her /lh

Her belief in apathy is as strong as an emo teens belief in edgyness and dark eyeshadow, and has as much of a backbone as one of them. She doesn't truly fully believe in her apathy at all, no matter whatever she says otherwise, but she believes she has completely lost her belief in volition, even though she hasn't given all said previously. Apathy sounds like the closest answer to her loss in belief but the two ideas really have incredibly little relevance to each other in any intrinsic matter, the opposite of volition isn't anywhere close to apathy, in fact they aren't even antithetical, you can choose by your own will to be apathetic and not care, you can choose to lock yourself away, you can choose to value other things over emotion & desire-- all she is is a girlie who's pissed because bad guys exist and will use their free will to do bad things, thats it, it has nothing to do with apathy, she simply chose to see the world in that manner.

The only thing she does that's anywhere close to doing anything antithetical to volition is taking the people's choice away in living w her pale ailment, the victims didnt exactly choose to keep on living after all, but that seems more like a happy accident rather than something she would actually align with if she was truly Apathy, if she was apathy she would've just stayed in the cocoon, it doesn't matter what everyone else does, it doesn't matter what they think, it doesn't matter what i do, it doesn't matter if i live- a truly apathetic character couldnt bring themselves to act upon the idea that everyone should be as apathetic as themselves, because you would care then! it's very similar to my description of sloth, Apathy can't be a villain, so the way she's a villain is by being one of the most passionate and resolute people around whilst waving the flag around that she's totally apathetic guys trust me bro

also two rq mentions, firstly when mystic shows the kingdom w/o cacao she shows choco's subjects being devoted & choco choosing not only to be a leader but a good one at that & grieving his late father, she is truly incapable of imagining a person who's not driven by volition & resolution to some capacity, or at the very least if you want argue this is fabricated to specifically undermine cacao's resolution and not a depiction of what she thinks will realistically occur, she doesn't think apathy on its own is a convincing enough argument leading her to need to launder her ideology, which really is a great example of her believing it's inherent validity huh?-- and secondly that chippy didn't turn to futility or apathy when he got wooshed heh

(one thing im genuinely unsure about is how real these dustings are, they seem like they were just imagined up by mystic, but i forgor lol)

i've yapped way too long about someone who isnt smilk in a post about smilk lmao, but finally tldr, i believe she is a character who never commited to anything yet put her whole pussy into acting like she did lmao, she believed she was the virtue of volition yet folded when it actually displayed the reality, deciding to instead hold onto her idealized false version of it up to this day, and she claims to believe that she has achieved enlightenment and subsequently apathy yet cannot stop being resolute for 2 whole seconds lmao-- i don't think mystic has the capacity to return to being the virtue of volition, since she doesn't believe in it in a practical sense anyways and it'd be really really hard for them to justify why you should let ppl do assault, but I do think she can become a sister believer of resolution, she can't stop displaying her resolution through her conviction to apathy after all, no matter how much she insists otherwise. i also wouldnt be surprised if they gave instead a synonym, virtue of conviction or somethin heh

Even cacao realizes her, pity, her anxiety, her childishness, everything impossible to be whilst trying to be apathetic, she never succeeded in what she preached and it's blatantly obvious that's the case

feck, speaking of him, i should also talk about cacao shouldnt I? i'll try to be quick-- Cacao is not a man of incapability to forgive like Gheese, as long as you're not a threat to what he's resolute about he's generally fine, especially since he has also shown capacity of recognizing when he himself is in the wrong, it would for sure take a while and a third party would definitively be needed since i'm not sure if we've ever seen him change his mind w/o bein heavily pushed to do so, but in no way do I think w enough evidence that she means no harm would he not accept Mystic if she were to try to redeem herself, but she would probably have to do a lot to prove that to him before he would forgive and he'd watch from afar to see her actions

ok, finally, lmao, the smilk part, i'll try to make it longer than the mystic part so i dont feel like ive wasted your time w her /j who am i kidding all of this is a waste of time im an amateur in analysis and writing and also autistic idk any shit lol im just hopin im coherent and not inherently nonsensical

you might've noticed that as I wrote about the two previous beasts I've laid down the groundwork for some requirements, for features I believe are necessary for the possibility of redemption for any of these characters, which to speak plainly here:

They should have either elements of their previous virtue present in the current day or have the capacity to embark on the path of a new virtue.

Their belief in their beastly aspect should not be absolute and either be depicted as wavering, contradictory or partially believed in.

They should have the capacity to believe they are wrong and thus capable of learning to any degree.

The other half of their soul jam should not permanently reject them.

And uh, if you don't see where I'm going with this, yeah I think that is completely and unabashedly true for Smilk ^^ time to try to adequately prove it lol

Rightio then, how should I tackle this... have them all go down in order ig? or eh, i'll swap the last two, i think that makes it easier to explain, very well then

Coming back to this a little later this absolutely barely works lmao, I'm mostly just making a ton of sub categories that hopefully I can string into somethin coherent lmao, I'll try to make it sensible lol

... It seems I have reached the image limit....

Ok problem solving time, all quotes displayed like this are all quotes directly found from the game, I don't have the energy to source which chapter it is from as I haven't for any of the screenshots lol, but know that unless stated otherwise they are all found within the quest logs menu thing, hopefully thats a good enough middle ground, cause I have 0 energy to figure out how to work around the image limit, if there is a workaround-- I'm gonna reduce the redundant repetition of names since this text block doesnt have the same restrictions as the game does and to differentiate large walls of separate quotes the segment will end with a *** ... + when one of those separating lines of elipses occurs means some dialogue in the same section was skipped, as it's either filler or irrelevant to the point im making, i am trying to not source even more than i have to yk lol

As a final reminder before entering the Smilk section, ofc he fuckin lies, he lies a lot lmao, but a big part of what I'm going to be saying is that he does not lie all the time. I will sometimes put things into sections you might disagree w their authenticity in regards of truthful sentiments, if he is clearly lying about a subject that the quote is being categorized within, then the category probably isn't about assuming absolute truth is coming out of his face hole, it probably matters to the grander themes and messaging of the entire story lol.

They should have either elements of their previous virtue present in the current day or have the capacity to embark on the path of a new virtue.

Light of Truth...?: I govern all Truth and Deceit of this world. What you mistake for the power of Truth is but a cute tiny droplet in my limitless ocean of Knowledge. So! What am I?! Need another hint? I thought you would've solved my little riddle by now! Pure Vanilla Cookie: The one who governs all Truth and Deceit... The Master of All Knowledge...? Light of Truth...?: RING DING DING! *** Silverbell Cookie: It's all a lie! There's no way that His Majesty protected the seal for such selfish reasons... Wizard Cookie: Shadow Milk Cookie is the Cookie of Deceit. Of course he's full of lies! White Lily Cookie: He's not simply making up obvious lies, but weaving in threads of truth to his story... *** Fortune Teller Cookie: ... The lord of this tower is a Cookie all-knowing. Space and time intertwine in a myriad of reflections here. For in the realm of Knowledge, there is more than one truth. *** Shadow Milk Cookie: Ahem, rise and shine! Daydreaming again? Do understand, I'm not mad. I'm simply disappointed. For you fail to see the truth. THIS is not an other-realm. ... It's time to accept the truth you like so much, Pure Vanilla Cookie. *** Shadow Milk Cookie: The Truth... How do I put it? It has a rather ugly countenance. Some Cookies prefer the safety of a sweet lie, afraid to stick their head outside, to the cold reality. Others? They find a twisted pleasure in weaving deceit for their own benefit. I know exactly what you're thinking. BEEN THERE, so to speak! My boy, the universe once was but an open book to me. Time and space unfurled before my eyes. Truthless Recluse: Perhaps, it's not an easy task for those who haven't witnessed the majesty of Truth and Knowledge. *** Shadow Milk Cookie: Look at this fallen seeker of Truth. Your mind is like an open book!*** ??? (Sapph): The great Shadow Milk Cookie, Archmaster of all Knowledge and Deceit there is, played a genius stroke by leading our reckless foes right into his trap in the spire! ... And now, I invite you to sit back, relax, and forget about the boring notions of Truth and some such! Instead, join me tonight on our fantastical, magical journey...*** Shadow Milk Cookie: Ah, Cookies! They just love a good gossip, don't they? Something to gnaw on, truth or not. Black Sapphire Cookie: Excellently said, My Lord! A droplet of Truth in a concoction of Deceit works wonders! Soon, this world will kneel before you, Master Shadow Milk Cookie!*** Black Sapphire Cookie: Knowledge and Lies have existed since the very genesis of these lands. Master Shadow Milk Cookie's power is truly beyond all measure and comprehension! Shadow Milk Cookie: Lo and behold! I shall purge the darkness of the unknown and illuminate your future!

This point is the biggest reason why I thought he could ever have a redemption all along, because HE WON'T STOP TELLING US THIS IS THE CASE, he LOVES the truth, he LOVES knowledge, the only way to tell the truth is to know things, and the only way to lie is to also know things, a baby cannot lie, they don't know shit lol-- lying inherently and intrinsically is a distortion of knowledge automatically requiring his virtue to be a part of the equation, and smilk cannot shut up about how much he knows that to be true. He will preach the virtue of truth (this ones important dont gloss over it lol), he will choose to tell the truth, he will admit that he isn't lying, he will make his own truth. At no point did Sbice want abundance, and there was a single point where Mystic even admitted that she had a grain of volition within her and all other cases were accidental, but he will just. not. stop. mentioning. truth.

Pure Vanilla Cookie: I realized that my power and his... They are like two sides of the same Coin... What do I do? *** Light of Truth (Smilk): I am the Light of Truth. And the truth is... Your dreadful adversary and I. We might not be much different after all. One and the same... *** Pure Vanilla Cookie (Interspersed w Smilk): Truth and Deceit... Like two sides of the same Coin... Perhaps, those dreams are merely a trick to confuse me... A product of my power resonating to Shadow Milk Cookie's presence... ...!!! No, impossible!... Or is it?... Even so, he and I are different. Shadow Milk Cookie and I are different! And yet... that custodian's riddle... It was too easy... And this place... it feels oddly familiar. Ever since I gained my Soul Jam, I've come across so many questions without answer... I wonder... Did the Fount of Knowledge feel this too? All this doubt and confusion? Like I do? Pure Vanilla Cookie...?: All the roads I have ever taken... All the roads you have ever taken... They all lead to Him. Pure Vanilla Cookie: These are not my words! Once the Fount of Knowledge: You and I are bound... ... You will see.*** Pure Vanilla Cookie (Smilk): Knowledge, Deceit... Maybe they are not that different. ... Pure Vanilla Cookie...?: Oooh, looks like we have an expert in the audience! Shadow Milk Cookie: Very well, go ahead. Prove me wrong! *** Light of Truth...?: Why, you've said it yourself! We are like the two sides of the same coin! *** Shadow Milk Cookie: I know exactly what you're thinking. BEEN THERE, so to speak! My boy, the universe once was but an open book to me. Time and space unfurled before my eyes. You... You are merely following in my footsteps. ... Oh but it's inevitable. In the end, you will become... me! And it's gonna feel good!***

[That entire section lol ^] Gingerbrave: Phew! Pure Vnilla Cookie will play White! Shadow Milk Cookie: Huh? That doesn't seem right... Are you sure? Wizard Cookie: What?! That's cheating! Shadow Milk Cookie: Aren't we like two peas in a pod? I get that a lot! Heh. Sometimes it's hard to tell us apart! *** Truthless Recluse: I think I'm beginning to understand him. And... it fills me with fear and self-loathing.*** Shadow Milk Cookie: Oh, we are one and the same now! Meet the other Cookie of Deceit, Pure Vanilla Cookie!***

It is also repeatedly emphasized w PV & Smilk specifically, not any of the other beasts what i recall, that they are two sides of the same coin, unlike the other pairs who although are both representative of their respective virtue are incapable of existing with one another, these two are both aspects of knowledge and they need each others traits to exist as a whole, there can be apathy w/o resolution and there can be destruction w/o abundance, but there cannot be lies w/o truth and truth w/o lies is pretty antithetical to humanity, autonomy & consideration, which at least I think are decently important for ppl who, yk, give a shit at all, like pv lol. They both on separate instances deny it whenever it starts hitting just a smidge too close to home, but it's a theme that runs continuously throughout the entire story.

Shadow Milk Cookie: But then... a particularly wise Cookie, who had seen the truth of this world, appeared in his kingdom. Smart Cookie: And she said, "I've seen the truth of this world! It needs the strength of the Five Great Cookies to exist!" ***

I'm not sure if this is the best category to put it in, but since I mentioned the coin thing here I'll mention it here too, Smilk likes truth tellers and truth knowers, to at least some extent, someone who fervently believed otherwise I think would struggle to admit otherwise. I take that observation specifically off a video I saw a while ago, an acknowledgement of a strange behavior, that a conservative guy made a parody newshow of leftists based entirely on lying and struggled to stick to the bit, since the conservative doesnt believe trans ppl to be real and are just one gender pretending to be the other, you would then believe that the newshow that lies all the time would disagree and claim that they arent just pretending, but that would require for just a moment that the conservative guy has to say w his own words that trans ppl arent just pretending, and since the belief is so vehement that they are just pretending they cant for a second do what they believe to be lying and thus end up making the lying newsshow accidentally trans validation. Although I very much think Smilk to be physically capable of making such a lie, if he does indeed believe all these truthers to be foolish idiot morons, I don't think he could psychologically get himself to admit that.

And finally a little bit of a catchall of him generally displaying otherwise 'heroic' traits, stuff that could be compiled in that 'new' virtue, even if they are, ofc, twisted in some capacity, usually pretty heavily-- I'm well aware we're talkin about Smilk here dw this isnt me tellin me he's the good guy all along lmao

Shadow Milk Cookie: Shadow Milk Cookie couldn't forgive the foolish king for how unjustly he treated the Five Great Cookies! And so... He decided to dispose of the foolish Kinch and save his comrades! ***

Saving your friends and disposing of the villain is usually done by protagonists of all media, so why be a hypocrite for him?

Shadow Milk Cookie: Those False Heroes were nothing more than petty thieves. They stole the powers of the Five Great Cookies, who had been sealed away so unjustly, and used these powers at (a?) whim! ***

Ik this is gonna be shockin, but stealing is usually bad lol and being locked away unjustly is a decently common trope for heroes, even Gheese got that experience later on lol

crk on a couple occasions has believed the opposite idea, that lying is having your eyes closed and the truth vice versa, but for the characters of Smilk & PV it's the opposite, the man with his eyes closed at all times is the man who speaks the truth, and the one who has a heavy open eye motif is the liar, so any instance of either doing the opposite is worth considering. A different post made by someone i do not have the capacity to go check on, made me really really think about what that is, and although I don't think my answer is airtight, I think it is because of trust & the choice. In the same vain that cats will close their eyes around those they trust, if you believe something to be true then closing your eyes to not see any possible distortions of the truth is you choosing to trust that what you know is real. That's why way way back when mr was Healer Cookie, he didn't know the truth, and had to be shown it, because a blind fold isnt having your eyes closed voluntarily, his eyes were closed so he could not get new information until he took them off, but the truth wasn't real as the (metaphorical) ones who put them on him had an agenda. With deceit, which already is heavily associated as a choice anyways, is you choosing to take in new information about the world, all information, truth or not, your senses also being inherently biased, and you're not trusting at all. Again, I'm not fully confident about this interpretation, but I do at the very least feel like it has something to do with volition (teehee).

And the final point on this case, I'll get into the sage skin a little later, I think it needs the context of all the points for me to say the words in a coherent manner, but when you tap on him with his skin he will close both his eyes, indicating he is a truthful figure, and default Smilk will wink at you, one eye closed, the other open, he is both truth and deceit, he is to this day the virtue of knowledge

Their belief in their beastly aspect should not be absolute and either be depicted as wavering, contradictory or only partially believed in.

This section has sort of been made obsolete because of previous one, that Smilk cannot just shut his face about how much truth means to him, but I'll try to collect all the instances he just outright tells the truth here, w what I believe to be no caveats, manipulation or distortions. And I only mean sections that he could obviously lie, ofc if he's just expositing plainly or sentences w no comparable false equivalence then I'm not adding those, this isn't a dump to add all of his dialogue in one spot lmao. "..." is hard to make a lie out of lol

Shadow Milk Cookie: You may be celebrating your little victory for now... But heed my words! We have finally risen. Do not think that you can hold us back. ... Pure Vanilla Cookie: ...Shadow Milk Cookie's lies... always have a grain of truth in them. His last words sounded like a warning to us... Perhaps, they were truthful after all. ***

I'll move this section down from the previous category though, since this is the biggest instance of him displaying his antithesis to his beastly nature. The thing that is absolutely most interesting in terms of the idea that Smilk is just fully a believer of the truth specifically, is the chess game. The chess game is the peak point of why this has held me on such a chokehold. I'll summarize the game here for ya, once you read later into this whole text you'll know why I choose to not rely as heavily on quotes.

Besides Brave noticing that it's a big chess board, it is then established that "Each move is like a stimulating conversation, unfolding one step at a time!", which boy don't you know it lmao. The special rules of this version of chess is listed out, the most important one for this section is:

You surely have to realize how big of a deal this is? right? That the beast of deceit, who supposedly should fully have given up on knowledge, be a full believer of lies and intrinsically oppose the Light, chose on his own to play a game with no lies, exclusively with the truth involved, for the sake of gaining knowledge? He's just returning to his Fount days here, the only difference is that he's a bit more of a maniac but that doesn't inherently devalue his connection to his past and mirrored virtues, he's fully and completely demonstrating that not only would he be capable of reform in theory, but that he doesn't even need reform in his belief, he still believes in knowledge and he still believes in the truth, why the hell else would he employ tactics he wouldn't believe in? The entire crux of his own fall is his lack of conviction and self confidence on his own end, and this shows clearer than any scene that he fully still believes in his old virtue, and we know the reason he fell all those days ago into the beast is because Cookies rather choose the sweet, savory taste of Deceit over the harsh reality of the Truth, not because he himself stopped believing in it, abso-fuckin-lutely does it make sense that he never ever shuts up about Truth, because he hasn't given up on it, it's integral to his current believed ideology after all.

Cough, anyways, there's more to the chess scene lol.

He then does his first act of cheating ever, all of his previous acts of deceit technically hasn't broken any rules, implicitly or explicitly, and then possibly argues that he sees Pv as the same as him.

Once the missing chess pieces are acknowledged and the gang gets turned into them, curiously Smilk Points out that they volunteered and wasn't forced by Smilk, which also curiously was a point mentioned earlier this chapter where Pv on his own accord went to the spire. He's starting to point just straight up facts, another word for truth, he's doing it for a point he wants to make later, but it's interesting that the first time he does it is when he was the peak of his villainy, ie peak deceit, so therefore had no reason to speak the truth yet did it anyways and the second time when he's the most Fount he'll ever be this entire chapter.

Shadow Milk Cookie: Let's get this game going! You gotta tell the truth, only the truth, and nothing but the truth! Or your pieces won't move!

He begins with what he believes will be an easy question for Pv, what is a lie? Answered as "... The antipode of truth." Which we can't inherently take as a fact, not in our current state at least, we've got no way of knowing if this is some sort of cosmic entity controlling the board or if Smilk is determining what is the truth, but I think it's easier to assume that it's his belief, especially since it'd be inline with his other conclusions. The second question is however a lot more interesting, what is the truth? which is answered as "The only right thing that must be protected." and that is right, and as we just moments prior established, odds are the answers are what Smilk believes, Smilk agrees with this answer, he also believes that truth is the only right thing and must be protected. This is extraordinarily close to being an outright admission that he's not even a beast, he has no stakes in deceit, he doesn't believe in deceit, it's not right and it shouldn't be protected, he's most likely firmly in team Truth, but because he is so caught up in, ironically, his own game, he doesn't even realize that he's done such a blunder. If you think that interpretation takes it too far, then at the very least what factually did happen is that he was laughing, finding this exercise fun and kept playing, what he didn't do is disagree, or call the board wrong, or say that the board is lying. The next question is probably the closest we get to confirmation that he is controlling what is and isn't truth here, as Pv answers the question he believes to have understood which causes the piece to move but then stop in its tracks to indicate a wrong answer, if he had misunderstood the question and Smilk wasn't in charge I don't think the piece would've jammed in place like that, but Smilk's intent is to prod at Pv, so making the process as painful as possible is a part of that goal.

He is absolutely ecstatic about truly catchin Pv in a lie, he's been pretty quiet or hostile up until this point, and he seemed unsatisfied with the river situation, but here, he truly, legitimately and fully caught him in a lie, for the first time. And then proceeds to be a bad winner about it lmao, but importantly is in love with the possibiltiy that Pv might not know the difference between right and wrong, which, once again, ironically, is happening to him this entire match lol

Shadow Milk Cookie: Ah, what a thrilling game! Looks like I have the upper hand! He he he he he!

Mans is lost in the sauce lol. When he notices the souljam reating he pivots into talking about White Lily, which really seems to affect Pv poorly to Smilk's excitement, and then once again goes at it from the angle that he's not at fault, that this is actually all Pv's fault. Where he then just says the funniest thing huh.

Shadow Milk Cookie: In the end, it all comes down to a very simply conclusion. If the so-called "truth" were the only right thing, it would've granted you the power to overcome all the odds you've been up against! Whose fault is it?

Don't tell Smilk which category this is in, or the words he said like 3 paragraphs ago lmao, he'd be fuming right about now xddd

As Pv admits that he agrees, that he is weak and is all at fault, Smilk bursts into laughter and starts taunting Pv, absolutely adoring watching him fall further and further. But then does another really funny thing.

Shadow Milk Cookie: If I was able to bring you down so easily... That makes me your Truth, doesn't it?! Yours and everyone else's! ... And so, the ultimate Deceit becomes the ultimate Truth! Now that's right up my alley!

Smilk go 5 seconds in this chess match not being your own antithesis challenge level impossible lmao.

He then repeats an idea he said in one of the first chapters, something that because I've organized this poorly that I don't think y'all know about yet, that Smilk wants to control Pv, and that pv and just relax and follow his command. Smilk with his final question pulls out his testing of the waters, what he truly believes in, going full project blast canon lmao-- Since he believes his endeavour of knowledge was futile, that his sharing of the truth was landed on deaf ears, perhaps his own vision was incorrect all along, was his entire purpose, his life? A lie? And that filled him w supposedly enough regret to get him to beastify. So now he believes he has put Pv through the same feelings, the same disappointment, the same futility, the same disproving, that he must also regret his whole life now. But he reacts unexpectedly, he starts laughing, to the confusion of Smilk, where Pv starts to just cheat..... Which Smilk LOVES, he LOVES it SO much, the projection being completely and utterly dodged doesn't matter at all, because Pv is becoming more like him!! He is clearly embracing deceit!!! He is far more than overjoyed at this moment, the loudest and most excited his own entourage has ever seen. He admits that he thought Pv still had more resolution, but this here showing proved otherwise and commends him for the act, adoring that Pv is fulfilling his potential and using his own tricks.

I really, really hope that I've at least a little bit conveyed how much this entire game revealed Smilk's full hand with this game, seemingly entirely beneath his very own nose: he displayed he still believes in truth and knowledge, that he doesnt believe in deceit, that he views himself as the ultimate truth, that he's torn down his own defences around Pv a fuckton, and I'm not sure if he event knowingly told a single lie during the entire match, just prodded the guy and faked a single coin. If anything at all killed his chances to win as a villain it was the chess game, it undermined his power internally and externally a huge amount, and he never recovers it again.

The other half of their soul jam should not permanently reject them.

(ie, the pv analysis also included in here lol)

Pvs change into acceptance is definitively most obvious at the very end, and I'll ofc show my work even if everyone knows it, especially if you follow the smilk tag and are the likeliest to read this lol-- but it did not begin at the end, nor is it exclusive to the latest chapter, there has been drips of it earlier.

Shadow Milk Cookie: Out of these false heroes, which ones is only half a Cookie? ... Gingerbrave: None of them! Shadow Milk Cookie: WRONG!!! ... Pure Vanilla Cookie: The right answer is... All of them. Shadow Milk Cookie: ..... RING DING DING!!! Did you hear that?! A correct response from our sharp audience! My my, I'll let you advance to the next round!*** Shadow Milk Cookie: Out of these three Cookies... Who is the biggest liar? ... Pure Vanilla Cookie: The biggest liar is... me, Pure Vanilla Cookie. ... Pure Vanilla Cookie: ... It's correct, isn't it? Shadow Milk Cookie: Unbelievable! You got it right again! RING DING DING!!! That Pure Vanilla Cookie knows his thing! I'm impressed, I must say!... Indeed, what is pure, unquestionable truth if not deceit...?

PV is always the one to answer all of Smilk's og quiz questions correctly (the ones he's allowed to answer at least lol, and the one that he wasn't allowed to answer was answered "wrong"), which not only establishes that they are to some capacity on the same wavelength from the very start not just because smilk is in the souljam lol so it isn't a result of his very pleasant stay at his tower /lh but also each time Smilk not only respects the answer, he also ignores the previously established (unquoted) punishment in favor of Pvs correct answer on the first one and on the second one compliment him, establishing at least some sort of report for Smilk to recognize

Also wanna take a quick moment on that second set of quotes, to further re-establish that 100% truth cannot exist w/o lies, and to elaborate to make me not seem insane here lmao, it's the same principle as "history is written by the victors" or however the phrase goes, objective truth does not necessarily equate to described truth, nor does a telling of truth automatically mean that the entire truth is revealed since that is quite difficult to do, whatever information you omit will change the way the information is ingested by the audience, and it doesn't have to be the case of lies by omission to our perspective either, you can describe you playing with your kid on a playground, a fully true statement, but you omitted that it was raining when you were outside, the omission I'd be hard-pressed to call a lie personally but it changes the story quite drastically. And even if you don't agree w this sentiment, at bare minimum that's the world that crk has established in these chapters to be true, and I think it is inferable that Smilk would find those omissions to be lies.

(Read aloud by pv): And thus did the all-devouring heart of darkness fall into slumber... The Beast-binding Rituatl of the Witches demands a great wisdom and even greater sacrifice. It much be conducted by someone who is ready to pay the price. This power lies hidden, far and out of reach, for you are forbidden from meddling with magic beyond you ken. Now, The Spire of All Knowledge stands without a master... where all knowledge began, and there it shall remain, as long as there is light. You who dares lay hand on the forbidden knowledge! After many a hardship, may you find the answer your seek... Pure Vanilla Cookie: The master of the Spire... It's about Shadow Milk Cookie, without a doubt. He could be there... Awaiting me... Without a doubt, having gained a physical form, he will pose a much greater threat... Our encounter can't be avoided. No matter if I fear it or not. The Beast are regaining their former power. All the more reason to face them and put and end to their evil. For the good of all Cookies, of the entire world!

The book planted specifically to trick the gang to go to the spire instantly gets snuffed out by PV, he notices instantly that the tower is Smilk's and its likely to contain the man himself, he goes not because he's tricked as Capple believes and relays in her overworld dialogue w smilk, but by his own volition (teehee)

At no point does he get legitimately tricked by Smilk specifically, all the times he does get tricked they're not by cookies with the eyes that are shown in the portraits to be a consistent feature or the flashbacks where the eyes are always eventually shown-- all the pain he goes through is either his own resolution (teehee) to be kind or his kindness being taken advantage of, but he is always in tune w Smilk

Bit annoyin to put the entire interaction down so there's the entire section lol [04 Young Shepherd Cookie], but the entire one of the wolfherd (which I don't think is Smilk, as explained earlier) is an example of him bein taken advantage of, he prioritizes kindness over being suspicious of the kid even though he has already acknowledged they are surely in Smilk's domain-- but once the kid is established to be safe & help is offered Pv then doesn't say a word and generally just acts surprised at the story, until the very end where the gang is talking amongst themselves recognizing that they've been tricked, First Strawberry, then Gingerbrave, then Wizard... But not Pv, he implicitly establishes to the team that kindness is more important than the lying, and recognizes internally that this is Smilk's presence in effect.

The story after is one that can be interpreted as Pv lying, cookie is dying before him, and he tells the cookie what I would argue to be ethical lies, which is that the cookie will be fine. The absolute last thing you want a dying patient to do is give up, you need them to follow your orders, and you need them to believe it will work, because if they don't that's just a self fulfilling prophecy and they are much more likely to go kaput. He suspected that it might be too late but not for a second did that stop him from trying, but since this was an artificial situation to begin w nothing was going to work, ofc. And once Pv finds out that this is another (non Smilk performed) trick and that his kindness has once been taken advantage of, he once again reinstates that kindness is more important and keeps wanting to help the cookie out.

And the final one after, the one with the towerkeeper, is harder at least for me to determine, keeping one of his eyes closed automatically puts him on the sus meeter as a truthful speaker, the way he presents his question as a riddle instead of a quiz yet formats and phrases his question the exact same as Smilk, praising Pvs answer, but also Pv not seeing through the trick if it was performed by Smilk, at most I'd argue that he may be the third closest connection Smilk has but that's very much flimsy and unbiased heh (unrelated but idk why white lily leaves except exclusively to make the story less crowded lol)

Pure Vanilla Cookie: We must look carefully for any clues on the ritual. ... Apple Faerie Cookie: Oh yes... It's as if everything we knew... was wrong! Pure Vanilla Cookie: Let us not jump to conclusions. Perhaps, it's another test... We must keep searching. ... Perhaps, it's a trick to make us stray from our path.

Pvs order of priority the moment of entering the spire is Kindness - Searching for the ritual, then Suspicion - is this another trick, then Confirmation - yes this is a trick, im recognizing this is a stretch which given the experiences w the wolfherd and the dying cookie is decently consistent w how he reacts to non smilk made lies

Pure Vanilla Cookie: The Light... of Truth...? This is... the Dark Side of the Moon... Another dream. ... ... What are you saying? Are you not... my guiding light? Light of Truth: Do not doubt me, Pure Vanilla Cookie...! I am the Light of Truth. Your old friend. All this time, I've been illuminating your path. Fore a long, long time... Even when you were smaller than your Cream Lamb.

Tbh to be frank idk what happens here lmao, he should be fully aware that the light is compromised and even recognizes that this is the moon, so absolutely smilk's influence here... yet he still believes the light to not be smilk...? But at least i think its reasonably inferable that the moment that the cream lamb is mentioned thats when Pv suses stuff out, I really dont know with this one gang, if ya wanna use this as the bullet to shoot my analysis down there's not much I can argue lmao

(The cards): Fshh... Gingerbrave: Huh? What are these cards? They have peculiar markings on them...! Pure Vanilla Cookie: These are tarot cards. Fortunate tellers use them to read someone's future.

Also I don't think Smilk pulls any tricks that Pv himself isn't previously aware of, the moment recluse in the inn brings out the tarot cards Pv immediately knows what they are, I don't think Pv was at all confused what chess was about lol

Fotune Teller Cookie: This way! ... Follow me, now! We're Safe. They won't reach us here ... ... No wonder. After all, this is the Spire of Deceit. Here, have a Jelly. Gingerbrave: Huh... Whoah! Thanks! But we have no time! We need to save our friend! Fortune Teller Cookie: No. You must go back. ... Don't you understand? You cannot win the battle against the Beast of Deceit. ... You'vebeen deceived by someone you trusted. You couldn't see the illusions of the Spire for what they were. So, tell me. How can you save your friend? ... ... If there's still a friend to save. *** Fortune Teller Cookie: Wait. ... I must ask one last question. Does your resolve remain strong? Are you sure you won't regret your choice, come what may? ... ... Follow me. You will only meet more foes down this path. I will show you a safer road.

Now when we're actually in the spire, we can also keep a closer eye on the fortune teller, since we know that he and Pv are on in the same, and we're not going to go into any details as to why teller cause we're instantly going to get into weird timey winey shenanigans lmao. The first what we see of teller once entering the spire is exclusively kindness, he is terrified of the beast but his priority is getting the people out of there. But once the gang absolutely refuses to follow his word, his kindness shifts, if he cannot ensure their safety, he will at least help them to the best of his ability.

Pure Vanilla Cookie: This place... Looks different but feels the same. As if it has revealed its true colors. I must get back to my friends. ...?! These portraits... They all depict Shadow Milk Cookie! They all look different, but it's unmistakably him!*** Pure Vanilla Cookie: This must be Shadow Milk Cookie when he was still called "The Fount of Knowledge"... Everyone is looking up to him. But there are some Cookies who chose... to deny reality. They rejected the bitterness of the world in favor of the sweetness of Deceit... He must have walked a solitary path... ***

Further establishment that the instant Smilk tries to pull off any trickery, although these just bein portraits and not him literally, Pv will instantly snuff it out. And also that enforcing that they're on the same wavelength, that once again when it isn't hittin too close to home he will relate to Smilk.

In the entirety of 18, 19 & 20, he immediately fights back against Smilk, multiple occasions pointing out that he's not telling the truth, being resolute (teehee, ok ill stop lol) in his own self, in a very few occasions faltering for just a step but then immediately regaining his ground. He's not stoic and he is struggling yes, but he has 3 things he believes in and he's not going down yet heh.

Also the next one 21, I'm not super confident if this fictional section lets Pv have any autonomy? But if we assume he does he once again prioritizes kindness over smilk/his tricks, as he heals a cookie even if it means smilk knows his location, he will 100% risk a fight or even dyin if it means he can save at least one other cookie.

And then we get the teller decrying how they never change and turning into recluse scene, or well, sorta, but shh we're not talking about the time travel its weird lmao-- where I mostly just want to mention the connection to the earlier point I made, the shaky interpretation, that the "reason" he turned into the recluse was because he had his eyes open to all the lies, he didn't close his eyes to the lies and let them in, clouding his judgement.

And now we've finally entered the latest chapter, where I should immediately apply our framework that we have to view the entire chapter through:

I'm letting this one tick down my image count, because it's that important. It's admitted at the very end, that this whole recluse thing was an act all along, that he tricked smilk, because Smilk can never lie to Pv and have him not notice it, that image I sent earlier? The one where pv is looking into the mirror and sees smilk? I think thats what he means when they "became one" and knew that smilk was lonely, so yes, before the fall, he knew-- He was still very fragile, very fickle, it wasn't like he was stoically going through the experience, very little would've convinced him to give up, but he knew there was a light to go towards and take advantage of, that tiny light was enough to keep him trucking, to keep him lying, to keep his resolution. I should also make it clear why I think the "becoming one" was that scene and not the scene where he becomes souljam of deceit x2, since I believe that's the scene that most people will assume that is referring to not the one I believe it to be, and tbh... i don't really have facts facts to back either of them up, neither of them sound like good candidates for being the scene, I don't think becoming 2 can be automatically instinctually argued as becoming 1 lol, hell idek what the (unquouted) "I saw your records." is referring to, but all I can do is present my case why it makes more sense for Pv to have been acting the whole time, instead of truly having given up and only the last couple minutes did this specific spark of hope work and not one of the dozen other ones.

So, with that down, once we go to the first part of the latest chapter, is that we know the consistent behaviour for Pv is to instantly snuff Smilk out, when Smilk is not involved he will go in the order of Kindness > Suspicion > Confirmation, his entire full and complete motivation + light at the end of the tunnel is his friends, his goal is to make smilk let his guard down (+ presumably make it out alive), and if at all possible in the slightest; befriend smilk. Alright? We're on the same page? Final chapter time heh. I will be going through the entirety of it in a summarizing fashion, adding in my own reasoning for the claim I made earlier and will quote things whenever I think it establishes things, instead of just the quotes being contextless.

First ep doesn't include any Pv, but it shows Smilk being more brazen w his lies, no longer are they sprinkled w truth, this ep is pretty much peak "villain", yes, even more villain than him gettin 2 deceit souljams, he is relishing in his first major step in victory, a footnote I make later in this diatribe because I cannot order these points to save my life, is that Smilk has long wanted Pv in his clutches, before Pv entered the spire did he intend to capture Pv.

So in ep 2 o with that accomplished he is joyous and flaunts his power to Pv. Pv however is silent and Smilk immediately tries to pry out information from him, guessing what could possibly be on his mind. Pv however has incredibly little interest in being swayed by the power display and nagging, his interest lies is solely within his friends, as although not directly confirmed word for word it seems after Pvs 'goodbye', his absolute rock bottom, Smilk took the gang away, the fear of them being harmed once again awakening Pvs kindness, even for only the tiniest smidgeon, I gotta reiterate this is incredibly fickle, if Smilk were to go hard on Pv rn he would probably give up entirely, the light can just barely rarely get Pv to act in accordance to pre-recluse in its current state. His plan to deceive Smilk isn't in process yet, he's mostly just processing what's happening to him and mostly letting his impulses guide him through the events. Smilk enjoys plucking the obvious weakpoint of Pv, but once again Smilk's nagging isn't his friends, so he doesn't really bother with it. Since Smilk is actively plucking said string, weakening that light, when he brings them out Pv doesn't respond, leading Smilk to poke a little further. A timeskip occurs where Smilk "toys" with the gang, whatever that means, and establishes that the only reason any of the gang is alive is due to his non-violent desires, where he then gets distracted ig? And grabs Pv, threatening to grab the souljam, Pv immediately recoiling and supposedly going to claim that its his, and since he's mostly on autopilot and Beat To Hell Mentally he gets pretty pissed, so Smilk's prodding finally gets an answer he likes out of Pv, but fully believes there is more boiling under Pvs skin so prods further to get him to lash out further. The gang interrupts trying to assure Pv to keep on fightin, and whilst Sapph tries to threaten them further with the legacy of Smilk, but that doesn't deter Brave at all. Smilk decides however to take the moment to, I think enter the souljam? Where he notices how unstable it is, who would've thunk it ikr, where its then established that his plan probably only extended to the recluse stage, after having a little bit of fun w recluse he would then take the souljam and move on, but because of how fragile it is he gets curious, where he then decides to see how far down he can go, the very next sentence admitting he changed his mind from whatever it was before.

They're then all taken to the river, where they just explain that truthtellers drown and those who "embrace deceit" don't, woot exposition lol. Pv however havin been rallied by his friends moments before being sent here but also still being pretty pissy snaps back, establishing his own autonomy, wherein Smilk does a wonderful job immediately undermining the tiniest pushback he got lmao. Oh I should probably mention its the choice of him or his friends right? So yeah, kindness wins out, without a word he chooses himself and heads straight into the river. And as we know earlier, his friends is the stated reason why he got out of the river, and I believe once he gets out of the river, after maybe hearing all of the confident blabberin from Smilk and definitively the blasted hoorays from after he re-emeges, is when he gets his plan to trick Smilk is in action.

His eyes being closed the moment he emerges from the water has nothing to do with that conclusion, just btw /j, lh

I do think he did hear what they were saying when he was under the water, as asking "... Are you satisfied now?" directly replies to their previous disappointment, in finding him just drowning instantly to be anticlimactic, with the ensuing excitement as I previously explained ensures. And just to make it a little clearer, I believe this is the moment where he sets his plan to deceive Smilk, yk, perhaps, oh, idk, he "embraces deceit" and that allowed him to complete the requirements laid out by the river?

The chess scene is where things get really, really intersting for Smilk, but I think I'm going to put that in the earlier section, and leave any Pv relevant parts here. So yes since you're reading the finished product you would've already known my dissection of the chess game, teehee.

As the rules get explained and Wizard questions the "No lies" rule, Pv seems to be implied to be physically repulsed by the idea, but doesn't say anything, since Smilk notices that he doesn't want to play the game. The coin gets flipped, the coin is rigged, Smilk goes first. Ik I mentioned this quote earlier in the two sides of a coin section, "Aren't we like two peas in a pod? I get that a lot! Heh. Sometimes it's hard to tell us apart!", but I want to elaborate a tiny bit on the point, because this is the first time we ever see Smilk cheat, which yes I talked about earlier but this is about Pv lol, he deceives and lies, but he hasn't ever broken any implicitly or explicitly stated rules before this point, so I think it's one of 3 options, the least meaningful one is that he is talking about how they look similar, you simply mistook my face for Pv's how silly of you, or the two remaining options, that Smilk also sees Pv as a cheater or re-enforcing previous information where he believes Pv to be the biggest liar in the world, and tbh I think it's probably a mix of both. Afterwards the comment about the lack of chess pieces arises, and ofc the friends get turned into pieces, which he doesn't seem to react a ton to either. Though if I can extrapolate a bit farther than I think is reasonable for the claim I've made, I think he is just paying attention to what Smilk is saying, as we also know that Pv knows, that Smilk is full of suspicions, so if you want to trick the master of lies, you really need to know what he truly believes in. Now he no longer is just defensive and trying to protect his own resolution, he is now trying to calculate what Smilk's truth is, which in turn makes him sturdier-- But ofc only like, by 1% maybe, he ain't recovering for a while lmao. Pv says his first words this entire ep when he answers Smilk's proposed easy question, what is a lie. And then the second answer also doesn't bring a ton of insight into Pv, but the third does, as its designed to provoke Pv. The original question is "How do we judge what is right?" which gets instantly contorted into absolute nonsense, mans a weasel here lmao, and it instead turns into a question of "When you blew up the souljams (I think is what happened) for what you believed to be the greater good, would you do that again?" to which Pv denies, leading to the piece getting stuck some more.

It seems the implied answer is that because Pv adamantly and continuously refuses to give another answer, Smilk and then continuously get free moves, though the first thing we see is him being quiet some more. Though his souljam (wherever it is lol) is physically reacting in some manner, as once again it is reacting to his friends. After having been mostly quiet this entire match, and only showing much of any stronger emotion by being surprised at Smilk's weaseling but quickly regained his composure, he finally snaps at Smilk again, when White Lily, his best friend, is brought up, and havin to think about her really aint makin him feel too good lol. But after being nagged about it by Smilk he seems to snap out of it, and returns to quiet fuming. Smilk pivots then once again, to establish a point he has been making, which is that everything is Pv's fault, which Pv has now seemed to have caught up on as Smilk's intention, as he replies "... You're right. Perhaps... It's entirely my fault..." with a totally not suspicious annoyed expression on the model, which causes Smilk to immediately burst into laughter and ecstatic. He goes on this tirade about how pathetic Pv is, that he's not the cookie of deceit and how Smilk is not the ultimate truth, but Pv as usual doesn't say much. Smilk then at least sounds like he pulls out his trump card, since Smilk has now thoroughly broken down Pv's perception of truth so that in turn obviously means Pv's point of existance, yk, truth, as pointless and a lie in of itself, shouldn't Pv regret his life for having followed this false ideology? But Pv here has his own ace card to play, noticing the weakness in Smilk's ideology Pv refuses to answer, if he's the cookie of deceit now, which as established earlier, means they can cheat, that means Pv can now cheat, and proceeds to immediately save his friend from immediate peril whilst laughing maniacally to hide the true intent of his actions. This act seems to have taken the wind out of him and he spends the little while recovering whilst Smilk is laughing harder than ever before. After recovering from his laughing fit he commends Pv for not being foolish and surprising him. Unbeknownst to Smilk, he is revealing his own hand, that Smilk is lowering his guard.

Now with the chess game over, Wizard seems awfully eager for the next activity, where we immediately get a great quote from Smilk.

Shadow Milk Cookie: Cookies fear what they don't understand. Always so quick to fill that void with the first thing that fits their belief system! Anything, really!

Given that's entierly true for Mystic, reasonably true for Sbice and technically true for Smilk, I have a feeling I might know at least a little bit how the other two beast's will work lol. Once again, the story repeats, game is introduced, this time it's cards, and friends get in trouble, whoopsies. This time however Pv has had enough, accidentally regressing the upper hand he had gotten from the previous game, whoopsies lol, where he snaps at Smilk to stop involving the friends, and that this is between only them-- he couldn't contain his desire for kindness, and seeing them threatened so often was getting to him too much. Smilk with this reveal of weakness keeps his cards (teehee) incredibly close to his chest, getting more reinforcement that the friends are the ticket to his broken jam. This game along with the chess game is also all about telling the truth, and if they "lie", whatever that means for tarot cards, they get shredded for it. I saw someone like yesterday talk about how interesting the cards answers were, but I'm running on the finest fumes Adhd can give, so I don't remember any of that whatsoever lmao; they should probably be a neighbouring post if this guy doesn't get shadowbanned for being a billion words long. The cards then threaten to do bodily functions cookies shouldn't be able to do but we aren't going on that tangent either lmao. Smilk places all the upset cards out, and asks Pv to pull out the desired cards, who initially refuses but quite quickly folds (teehee, feck I said I would stop that lol) and picks some anyways, where the gang loudly try to rig the cards, to which Smilk just finds cute & pathetic. It turns out that by the force of some kind, most likely Smilk himself, the terrible unfortunate cards are consistently drawn every single time for Pv who doesn't react much, and after trying over and over he decides to instead draw for himself, which then something physically occurs to Pv? I'm not sure what he just hurks over for a second and then doesn't get followed up upon lol. After Smilk rigged his own tarot cards, he then lets Pv try again, to the absolute befuddlement of his entourage, but Pv doesn't accept the offer, not wanting to let Smilk win. But since Smilk for some reason really wants Pv to practice the cards he doesn't go very hard on his prodding this time, instead throwing out some empty threats and focusing on pivoting to showing Pv his room so that he can totally go practice his tarots in there instead, of course establishing that escape is no option. And the final panel is Pv being confused about something, but I'm not sure if it's because of Smilks handing of cards over to Sapph or if Capple is that loud in her anger.

I'm gonna skip most of the Capple drama, I'm mostly confused why the writers wrote her that way? I don't really read it as out of character inherently but it's just, weird? Why'd you do that lol. But the duo does talk about how weird it is for Smilk to behave this way. Also not sure what that really tells about any of the people involved, but Smilk has not informed the duo adequately how he feels about Pv, so they just think he's emotionally no different than any normal cookie, instead of, yk, pining /lh,

After that weirdness occurred, Smilk threatens to murder Capple, so ngl I'm not gonna guess they've got a great personal relationship together.

Then just. filler I think? I'm not sure why we learn the functions of deceit, it doesn't really seem pertinent. Might just be crk wanting to throw in some ideas they had idk lol

Some more filler but then jumpscare Smilk has a curiosity he wants to fulfill, since this entire time his actions could be in theory completely dictated by his very presence, yes? So what happens when Smilk isn't around, will Pv crack?

Pv however, believes he still has the upper hand, he's now in that final step of that plan, he has to make Smilk believe that he won, but that does mean being technically mean to his friends, which he does apologize for later heh. He doesn't actively aggro his friends though, he just keeps emphasizing his "loyality" to Smilk, with a pertinent point being.

Truthless Recluse: I think I'm beginning to understand him. And... it fills me with fear and self-loathing. Wizard Cookie: Shadow Milk Cookie thinks he made you join his side! He thinks he's won! Truthless Recluse: ... He is not wrong.

Besides him describing Smilk's innermost feelings almost to a T, when your own friends tell you to your face your plan is working, I think you're doin an alright job w your deception lol, He goes on a long monologue about how much he doesn't care and how he's the greatest liar ever. However, something goes awry, really awry, in fact, it wasn't just me analysing the scenes who noticed, the friends in fact noticed Pv's behaviour. They start questioning his character, which instantly breaks Pv's character, and then they list out all the actions Pv has committed to keep his friends safe this entire time, whilst struggling to find the words as he has no good answer as to why he would've saved them if he truly, genuinely, didn't care for them anymore, if they really meant nothing to him, if he truly gave up all the way back, why are any of his friends alive right now?-- they bombard him with the truth of his actions, where he then gives up trying to talk back. After a long pause he instead brings out the tool he knows that Smilk, will enjoy, the tool that will cement his connection with Smilk, that neither party will be able to tell him that he's lying right now, the tarot cards, and seals his friends away.

Sapph comes in to collect them, where Pv acts his cruellest, for the first time actually dismissing his friends completely, which I absolutely can see the argument that this is proof that he truly doesn't care about them. I would however argue that Pv was overcompensating, he knows he will never harm them, and so far that has been entirely within his control, Smilk so far has never harmed the gang directly so Pv has had plenty of proof that turning them in will likely not endanger the gang, keeping the gang around would also harm his deception extraordinarily so, super mega so, it might genuinely completely ruin his entire trick, if he showed any mercy at all in the slightest to his friends might tip Smilk off that his kindness has been growing as time has gone on, not diminishing, but because of their grilling of him he was terrified of the possibility, so like i said i believe, he overcompensated, surely there's no way Smilk thinks I'm lying if I had no interest at all whatsoever in the slightest of accepting their offer. I am so mean and evil, Smilk won't suspect a thing and my friends won't be harmed.

Smilk, which I believe was implied to be floating outside of the window spying on Pv, knows that "he failed to get his friends to leave", so twists that into Pv now missing his friends, and proposes a solution, one that Pv can already tell what said solution is. Smilk is excited once more that Pv is becoming more like him, not only does he use the same tricks, not only can he now do tarots, but he now knows what games they're going to play.

Then they just, participate in the game, Brave accidentally spoils the ending by saying he knows their friends wouldn't turn on them, I wonder who that could be about /lh. Smilk starts prodding Pv again, who wordlessly rolls the dice. After a couple rounds Smilk comments on how boring this game is, and Pv explains that they've basically got infinite resolution, which is either a really bad play by him, or Pv's intimate understanding that Smilk's guard is so low that he knew that Smilk would do exactly what he'd do, which is brush it off and ignore it. The mistake that truly happens though is not limited to Pvs, the friends call out to him and tell him to stay determined, and Pv trying his best to keep his stoicism his souljam struggles to lie the same, leading to Smilk noticing that the string can still be plucked, and decides to see what happens if it snaps.

Smilk has to some capacity restrained the gang, expressing tiredness from their lack of appreciation, imposing the power over his land, reiterating his strength, all to turn to Pv, and ask him instead for a solution to these pesky cookies, who asks what he wants him to do, but Smilk insists that Pv should have to make the choice, surprising Pv. Which then leads to Smilk revealing the optoins, as usual, kill the gang or give over the souljam. This is admittedly one of the only points of contention with the claim I made ages ago at this point lol, how would he change the color of the souljam if he wasn't really losing his truth here, the biggest stretch I could give is that he's not abandoning his truth, he is instead prioritizing deceit. He is building up to this moment after all, he knows that Smilk is currently at his lowest defence right now, so convincing him he is an ally through becoming the thing he knows Smilk wants, becoming a cookie of deceit, seems like a logical thought process for him to have, I just, really don't know if that'd convert the color of his jam though lol, maybe its excusable enough that it only converts halfway. He then hands over the half white souljam over to Smilk, who immediately pulls the rug under Pv, because he is pissed off at the gang for being such a nuisance this entire time, and he also knows that its the remaining tether between Pv becoming exactly like him, and off the tower they go, devastating Pv.

He pleads for answers, but Smilk just taunts him, and brings back the ace from ages ago, he's been planting the seeds for Pv to believe that Smilk is innocent after all, this is him cashing it in. He reveals his guard wasn't actually that low, and that he had noticed the fact the gang are still alive. I'm not sure how to describe the intent of his diatribe, ig just quoting it doesn't hurt, he's snappy about it at least.

Shadow Milk Cookie: What was it? Your petty self-righteousness? Foolishness? Sense of Guilt? What was it that made your Soul Jam ring like a thousand bells?! Oh, I couldn't stand this annoying sound of whatever was left of your feeble will that kept resonating and resonating throughout the entire place!

The reason why idk how to describe it is because he then shifts over to gleefulness, where he explains the transition from simply wanting the soul jam to wanting to see what happened when he prodded him. Pv however, instantly picked up on what Smilk was putting down, and instantly repeating exactly word for word what Smilk wants to hear. He then shows the souljam is now completely white, which since it has been in the hands of Smilk and we know the souljam can change colors if the beast gets a hold of it I see no reason why that isn't a good enough explanation to cover the rest of my back lol. Pv however, still wants his shiny rock please and thank you, because he's still enacting his plan, his souljam is his, because it is now the souljam of deceit.

Truthless Recluse: Is this what you wanted? Or is it even better? Instead of one Soul Jam of Knowledge, you will have two Soul Jams of Deceit. And me, forever by your side.

Mans knows exactly the words Smilk wants to hear to a T, mans gauging how correct he was in his reply lmao, also mans says "we are meant to be together" and smilk does :D. Oh and also reiteration of his desire to control Pv. Pv also instantly checks how much power he actually gained from either himself converting a little bit to deceit or having smilks powers infused into the souljam after holding onto it lmao. After smilk gets like a minute to brag Pv immediately has won, his plan succeeded, Pure Vanilla Cookie successfully tricked Shadow Milk Cookie.

Smilk, realizing what has just happened, goes through a lot of stages of emotions, first dismay that he cannot control his other realm, then anger at Pv, specifically regarding that he was tricked, making him sound very hypocritical I wonder why he would be hypocritical what about his character would indicate that he would be bothered by being tricked i dunnooo /lh, then almost uncontrollable rage as he demands the souljam where he rushes pv with anger, then surprise, and i believe for a final moment awe, then pv decides to stab his souljam which is a choice for sure lol. I think the way I would read it requires us to tangent into his awakened form, so uh, tangent time.

Pv's awakened form is all about recognizing the importance of truth and deceit, thanks for coming to my ted talk. ok well no in seriousness the most important part is that he has smilk's eyes in his cape thing, both opened and closed ones, an absolute shitton of his design takes from smilk, his room has keys to smilk's locks, he has moon decorations that are smilks theme whilst he also has sun ones for pv, he has scrolls which is in both his Sage & Fount outfits are important design elements. His awakened form also has a couple lines that signify the importance of both truth and deceit, "You can learn a thing for(?) two from Deceit", "Truth and Deceit may be inseperable...". There are also far more dialogue than pre awakened of his desire for friendship & connection for others, since it only has 2 compared to awakened's 7, friendship, determination and resolution are the primary things that made him awaken into compassion.

There we go, tangent over, with that established, since he stabbed his souljam, do we think it could possibly be direct symbolism that he's breaking the original meaning of his souljam, that it's not just the souljam of truth, but the souljam of both truth and deceit, as both are important to him now? Just a thought? Maybe possible sorta? Anyways back to the rest of the ep lol, he goes through anime transformation sequence where he goes through every aspect of his life, sploshes through milk, then gets ribbons of the yellow/white of truth and the dark blue/eyes of deceit, really hammering home that both aspects are intrinsic to his existence as awakened. He then gets his memories fixed, he describes them being fixed to some capacity as his choices, so regaining the autonomy that smilk so badly wanted but could never once from start to finish ever manage to control. Smilk responds accordingly by calling him a traitor, where Pv's first words to smilk is (paraphrased) "I will embrace deceit, I will accept doubt, everything holds answers, don't you agree mr knowledge man. we can be poggies together duder" which smilk is not a fan of whatsoever, "A lie shall vanquish a lie!" Which is just a description of what he did lol. I think I hit my tired mark, Ill try to stay coherent

Next ep is filler resolution from the first ep

Then Smilk is pissed, but pv doesnt care, his nr 1 action is kindness after all, and especially now when he has awakened and embraced deceit he can see through smilk even more than he already could, he has no reason to fear smilk whatsoever, smilk just laughs in his face to pvs confusion, smilk recognizes his power imbalance and tries to take advantage of that the friends are dead, but teller came back and saved them, leaving smilk with no leverage at all anymore, he is lesser than pv in every single way now, then pv explains how there can be 2 pvs, pv prevents one of the tarot cards but i still dk what any of those cards mean so cant help you there on what he's on about, they fuse together into one, and then smilk comes in pissed cause no one is paying attention to him, he so desperately is clawing for any kind of upper hand

but pv just, isnt phased by it whatsoever, once again because he embraced deceit he is twice the cookie smilk is, and reaches out to smilk, he tries to gain the upper hand again but it doesnt work, pv explains that friendship poggies which smilk finds dumb. Pv then asks why did you do all that shit today, im simply curious dude, smilk tries to mask, pv sees right through it cause of the aforementioned records which told him that smilk was ecstatic when the souljams touched tips i mean deceit, smilk realizing his truest feelings is just bein splayed out for everyone to se shuts down further, but pv pushes through and tries to find common ground, but as someone who has had everyone turn their back to him and then spent lifetimes lying shockingly struggles w friendship, so this connection shit is so inane to him he cant help but just break out into laughter and desperately claw at reasons why it wouldnt work, that he already has his spire, and pv must just be dumbass, but pv aint havin none of it, if you truly didnt give a shit you wouldnt have done all of this effort bestie, but smilk doesnt like that pv is still right so tried once again to flat failure to gain the upper hand, where we then return to all the way back in the beginning, we finish off the loop, pv explains how they became one, and he could sense how lonely smilk was, which smilk reacts violently too, this is hitting insanely close to home and he'd rather not have him keep airing out his feelings please and thank you, pv does not, "Yes, Shadow Milk Cookie. No one else but me can truly understand you. We share the same Soul Jam. We can understand each other like no one else can. You don't have to be lonely... I'm right here. Please. Let me be your... friend.", which for the first second ever this entire ep, doesn't reveal his secret feelings, doesnt accidentally get brought to the surface, but truly cracks his defense, even if its only the tiniest of cracks, Smilk hesitates at the notion, he thinks about it, genuinely, for just a mere moment, which as you can imagine he doesn't like that it just happened and becomes violent again, raising his defenses a billion times as all petulant bullies do and screams his head off and we bonk him heh. pv still outclasse smilk, he has his powers, there is nothing smilk can do that pv cant do, so smilk is at most just bein a whiny baby here, so pv tries again to connect, but smilk is, lets say, not in the right headspace for this conversation, and is rude lol. He then runs away and the first thing pv says is functinoally "ill get to see him again :)"

Now, after aaaaaaaaaallllll that, what have we learnt about pv and his likelihood of forgiving smilk? I at least feel like the odds are the he has already forgiven smilk, that smilk doesn't actually have much that needs to be forgiven as pv was playing along and that he will choose kindness every time. yeah im gonna say its probably decently likely that pv's biggest lesson in practice is determination, he will persevere because his friends are always worth it-- and no intent of not extending his compassion to someone he has already embraced and intimately understands.

also ik it's irrelevant cause it's not talking about the facts, but remember when i mentioned way back at the beginning of the post that I made comments about the stories in discord?

That was my live first reaction to the story at that point, so unless I'm a massive untrusting moron, I think at least I can say there's reasonable precedent to believe that he wasn't at least intended to have truly 'fallen'.

...

...

Okay FINE I'll talk about why the time travel is weird lmao. It's cause it's not time travel xd I think its the grandfather paradox in play? Because if they are indeed the very same Pv, then their endgame shouldnt be capable of changing, there should be no "real" failed recluse and then our awaken pv, they should both be failed or both be awakened, it turns out im too tired to explain how the order of events works, but pv cant get awakened w/o teller, and teller cant know to go to awakened when there is no awakened yet, yes i did write this all in one night thats adhd for you, so the couple options that are available are:

It's an AU not timetravel, meaning all Teller scenes are irrelevant to any analysis of Pv, they lived different lives, it is irrelevant.

It's entirely made by Smilk to trick the gang, which makes the least amount of sense cause he would've then knowingly constructed his own downfall given he should have knowledge of the awakening if past, present and future all were taking place at the same time.

Or the one I find the likeliest, its an externalization of Pvs doubts manifested, it was never real and wasn't any time travel, that explanation was a lie like most parts of the tower, but his fears are real, and in a space that represents the multitude perspectives of truth, so literally just like Mystic, his Resolution and Apathy separated, but also like Mystic the Apathy part is really bad at doin their job and was actually really passionate about their friends lmao

Now let me live in peace ignorin the stupid time travel some more lol

They should have the capacity to believe they are wrong and thus capable of learning to any degree.

Shadow Milk Cookie: What's happening... Why am I not regaining my power...? The guardian is gone... So why is the blasted tree still standing? Why doesn't Pure Vanilla Cookie... obey?! ***

This isn't evidence of him actually acknowledging that he is wrong in the moment, but it's the foreshadowing of his conclusion, as you surely know by getting to this point lol. He continuously gets presented one lesson over and over and over: Lies cannot modify truth, and it cannot control it. It can manipulate the way knowledge is framed, but it does not modify the truth in any way. And although this lesson will be hammered in more once the foreshadowed part comes around, it's absolutely not a sentiment that's meaningless once you've completed the latest chapter heh.

I'm rapidly losing my capacity to be coherent, but the entirety of Pv's ascension is fighting everythin he knows about, he got tricked, he underestimated truth, he became weaker than pv, he lost to this gang, his spire got destroyed-- the question here is now when that has all been smashed, will we get to him in time or is he just going to reinforce his desperation to repair his status, though given pv's acceptance of deceit i dont expect whatever reperation occurs is not going to be particularly weak to a guy who goes 'yeah well im everything you want to be and i want to be your friend'

Felt like there should at least be an honorable mention for the times where Smilk really starts showing their desire to keep Pv around pre-latest chapter, that once again this wasn't a final minute thing. I should extra elaborate that does not mean that all of these are healthy, appropriate or even definable as 'not bad'. This is mostly the toxic part of toxic yaoi lmao

Shadow Milk Cookie: Eugh, I see you're still so deadfully, painfully, unbreaably... "you"!!!... Thinking much about me these days? ... Pretty cosy, innit? Makes you feel right at home! Why don't you stay for another day? Or... FOREVER! Sit back, relax, and watch my sinister plans unfold from the comfort of your very own prison! Oh? What am I saying? Silly little m! You've always been here, and you always will be! *** Shadow Milk Cookie: Indeed, all this time, you've been my most treasured marionette! ***

And the very final section, is there any evidence contradictory to his ability to be reformed? Is he particularly stubborn about something that would hinder his ability to change his perspective?

And I mean, besides throwing a childish tantrum at the end because he got scared of intimacy? Ig there's one,

Shadow Milk Cookie: Cookies fear what they don't understand. Always so quick to fill that void with the first thing that fits their belief system! Anything, really! Ahh, that would make Knowledge simply the collective agreement on the strongest beliefs, wouldn't you agree? Allow me to demonstrate with these cards.

Which yeah, is pretty antithetical to the idea of knowledge as a virtue, well done smilk you've got 1 whole argument as to why you might struggle with redemption, I'll let you know in 5-10 business years whether that out-stumps all the rest of this dissertation lmao.

My tired gang finishing up last section, don't see naything else that's antithetical to truth or knowledge having popped up at all

Now with all of that out of the way, phew-wee, we can talk about the skin a little bit. We know the skin isn't his Fount of Knowledge time, cause first of all the sage is never referred to as that lol, but secondly they don't look alike, the reason I mentioned the hiding of the past thing on the other two is that Smilk proudly shows off his past and deliberately brings Pv to it, so we know what the fount looks like, and it ain't the sage

So if not the past, what then? Tbh I'm not super confident, if I wanted to be a giddy lil fangirl I could argue that it's the future, that it is what redeemed Smilk will look like, that as the story progresses we will more and more see Smilk, though in all honesty it does just feel like an AU version, he does say "They cookie of truth? That's-a-me" which, yk, wasn't his og virtue and probably won't be his redeemed one either, the story told within talks of a recluse that doesn't exist, the one in the main questline never talks about any mountains, it just feels like a swap au, nothing more. Whatever the option though, I still want to make some inferences, though I do very much recognize that because we don't know who Sage is to the canon that all of this is pretty baseless, but since we're here anyways, why not lol.

The biggest inference is that Truthful Smilk & Present Smilk aren't all that different in behaviour at all "Do I really need to spell out everything? Come on, think!", they're both cheeky "Now now, I'm not like those other Academics", they're both playful "Ooooh, are you proposing a debate? Alright, but no backsies!"-"Think I'm wrong? Very well, present your case!", they both have their convictions "Admitting your ignorance is the first step towards the Truth", they both tease "Why does everyone try so hard to hide their ignorance? Tsk!", they sing-song "The arts, academia, technology, magic...Truth exists everywhere!", both really want to show off their stuff "There you are! Time for some magic!"-- like the only practical difference between the two in their character is what they're believing in, the only other thing i can think of is that sage tends to just make statements a lot more often, thats it. So, going on quite the decent limb, I don't think he needs a full personality or character rewrite to still work as smilk.

Finally, after 12 hours of straight grinding on this: In conclusion, do I think he's currently redeemed, as I'm a bit scared to post this so I feel the need to assure my stance? No, I don't, nor was that my claim. Do I think it will inherently make it a better story if he was redeemed? Not inherently no, but I think it absolutely can be a good story, I don't think it's doomed to fail or doomed to inexplicably ruin the characters involved automatically. By saying I believe he can be redeemed and to some capacity would like to see it, am I excusing all his terrible/abusive behaviour that i skipped over for this analysis as I believe it to be irrelevant to my case? One of us has the wrong definition of redemption then if you think that to be what I'm saying lmao, cause what I'm aware atoning for your sins and crimes are required to be redeemed, a whiplash "I tried to murder you and then suddenly two seconds later I'm nice now" is a bad redemption story at all times and has nothin to do w smilk-- ofc it'd require growth, recognition, self reflection & consequences, ofc his past behaviour would have to be atoned for in whatever way the victims see fit. Do I think I am undermining Pv's experiences/trauma regarding Smilk if he were to be redeemed? Not only do I feel like i adequately listed out the reasons why I don't think he present day canonically doens't hold a grudge towards smilk in the slightest, i would also not think smilk or any of the beasts to be redeemed w/o their other half also accepting them. Do I expect crk to handle the redemption in a good way? No lol

[adannamdi]

How to Make Your Main Protagonist Impactful in a Mystery Whodunit

I've talked about suspects, villains, and character occupations in mystery writing, but let's go deeper into how we can make our main protagonist even more impactful in a whodunit narrative.

In this post, I'll share what I did with my character, Adebayo Owolabi, and why I believe he is the most memorable character in The Hidden Diary. This isn’t a strict formula for writing your protagonist, but I hope it helps you develop your own characters.

This also isn’t the only mystery I will be writing, so my approach to crafting main characters will evolve over time. As I work on new projects, I’ll continue sharing my insights. Make sure to follow for updates!

ADEBAYO OWOLABI: A Case Study

Adebayo Owolabi is, in my view, the central male character of The Hidden Diary. Here’s a brief rundown of who he is:

Full Name: Adebayo Owolabi

Age: Mid-60s

Family: Widowed, father of one (late daughter, Adaora)

Background: Retired lawyer, now a businessman

Personality: Logical, firm, values justice, dislikes gossip (though that changes)

Likes: Cooking, especially fish dishes, spending time under his orange tree, reading newspapers, listening to the radio, sipping gin in the evening breeze

Dislikes: Injustice, disrespectful people, things being out of place

Habits: Regularly visits his wife’s grave to update her on his life and their daughter’s life

Occupation: Former lawyer, now owns a business run by a trusted associate

Living Situation: Owns a home in Lagos, Nigeria

Car Type: Year 2000 Toyota

Adebayo is a Yoruba man living in Lagos. His personality is shaped by his past experiences, particularly the loss of his wife, Ngozi, which made him deeply protective of his daughter. His investigation into her death isn’t just about justice—it’s about fulfilling his promise to always protect her.

He’s also not isolated. His connections play a crucial role in the story:

Chimoabi Duru – A high-ranking police officer and old friend who provides confidential intel.

Tunde Owolabi – His brother, a politician with access to influential circles.

Blessing – A street informant who feeds him local gossip and market rumors.

This network gives him resources to investigate—but not without consequences.

Why Character Details Matter

When crafting your main protagonist, consider the following:

Basic Characteristics:

Name

Last Name

Age

Family

Backstory

Personality

Likes & Dislikes

Favorite Dish

Habits

Occupation

Housing

Car Type

Extra Details:

Height

Blood Type

Favorite Color

Shoe Size

Clothing Style

Hair Style

Skills

These details build a well-rounded character with a clear past, present, and future. They also help maintain consistency throughout the story. However, it’s okay for characters to evolve.

For example, Adebayo dislikes gossip. But when it becomes a valuable source of information, he listens in, even calling Blessing to know what market women are talking about. This contradiction makes his character feel more real and adds layers to his motivations.

The Impact of Occupation on a Mystery Protagonist

Adebayo’s role as a retired lawyer shapes his approach to the mystery. He thinks like an investigator, but his status as a civilian creates obstacles. His friend Chimoabi reminds him that he no longer has the authority to investigate cases, yet Adebayo persists.

This introduces a compelling internal conflict: Is Adebayo obsessed, or is he genuinely pursuing justice? The answer isn’t clear until the story unfolds.

Now, imagine Adebayo wasn’t a retired lawyer but a professor. His investigation would look different depending on his field:

A criminology professor would analyze the case differently from a business professor who relies on financial leads.

His connections to law enforcement might come from former students rather than lifelong friends.

These variations show how a character’s occupation influences their methods, resources, and challenges.

Final Thoughts

Creating an impactful mystery protagonist isn’t just about making them intelligent or determined—it’s about grounding them in their world. By carefully choosing their occupation, background, and personal struggles, you create a character that feels real and memorable.

What do you think? How do you develop your protagonists? Let me know in the comments!

[lrayasostripes]

Rayas at the RTV Tour, 3

Third week of the RTV Tour, by @rtv-puzzlevision-studios

Note 1: Once again, writing this in first person. Also, no drawings here sadly. Only a card

Note 2: My main Oc is in the spectrum. But as the Tour goes, she might slowly try to interact a little bit. Especially when either trying to make social interaction. She eventually shows she's an empath.

Note 3: Interactions to the inserts are all Bg and not always direct for bigger actions, and as to not break the rules. Interactions with Ocs and RTV characters more obvious.

Note 4: YOu Thought she'll have her drawing in her inner vest pocket? Well... what if she loses it again?

Final Note: Same as last post. Rayas is a participant, and not the same for a future RTV version.

Story

“ALRIGHT, THE VOTES ARE IN!" (ouch my ears) "WE ARE GOING TO THE FILM DEPARTMENT!”

A relief, my drawing has been returned to me now. I'm glad Lucian, or Colores, noted where it was and returned it to me. Whichever was, thank you. (I'm thinking, if people helps the other, they receive something in return. But what/how to repay?)

The drawing is tucked nicely in my vest's inner pocket. That way no once could see it. And besides, won't max out the room on my arms, with my umbrella that I brought, and my new Mr Puzzles plushie. Both items I'm keeping close; the make me feel safe and calm

So... what's next? OH right, the Film Department

"The Film Department makes the CORE of the Headquarters, after all Puzzlevison’s main thing is to create MOVIES and SHOWS for everyone!"

As everyone went further away from the Art Department, ahead, there was another staircase. But unlike the first one, this one appears less risky (Wished the first stair case was more of a square one with solid risers. Even if it takes space, it's the safety necessary. But whom would take note to redesign them?)

"I could of course show you all the different studios we have, but I think you may be interested in a PARTICULAR part of said department.”

But then, we all stopped before anything else, close to the second stair case. Um...

Mr Puzzles stepped aside, and let Swag in charge... Mr Puzzles leaves...

Um... why? And then...

(Oh boy)

But luckily, Swag didn't gave the group a hard time as he lead everyone; let alone, making a smug expression with his sunglasses. Guess... he learned quickly of tour guide etiquette? I hope Chris as well could keep him in line. As for Lucian, ever since he returned me my drawing, I now trust him.

And btw, where did R-Mr Puzzles go?

The whole group walks down the second set of stairs; a tall girl with blonde hair tripped (scammer by @leirom71000) (ouch), but i hope she's okay. I decided to subtly look around the participants while keeping my gaze forward. I wonder how Loyboo (@alelathedragon) is doing. I'm not sure why I'm thinking about him, but I think it's because I'm the first person to have talked to him, even if briefly; and made him less nervous thanks to using the shy Boo gesture. Well, there's a whole variety of people here.

Some Humans, some shapeshifters like the dragon girl (Marie from @fenicearts420) from back before entering the Art Department, an alien with droopy antennae (@alien-star88), a sort of cat with just one eye (Creature by @theclosetcreature)(...Oh boy....), the other TV heads such as the same one with the Kuromi cap and purple teeth bar (Crystal by @kuromipuzzles2000) But... one person caught my attention. A silhouette-like girl with just one eye and the other is shaped like a heart (Nickknack by @runrabitrunrunrun ); she has two Mr Puzzles plushies (are repeats allowed?). Never mind, but still... something about her caught my attention.

While the group walks down a hall but before going around a corner, and the fact my hearing is sensitive, I could have sworn listening to what appears to be.... someone talking angrily at someone; and another person. I couldn't make out other than "....narrative," "ruin," "...of chance," and "One more..." Even though, I was one row back from the very front row, I still couldn't make out the words before the Group turned around the corner.

(Also, I also heard a participant talking to her Bob plushie, tee hee (Messy by @messydoodlesyt))

"Ahem"

Right there, Mr Puzzles, holding on to another TV head with a black screen and light blue line and curved antennae with one being crooked, by the jacket..... Um.... (What was her name again-)

“- haaave a TALK with you.”, RTV now finished his sentence, before placing the smaller TV head back on the floor.

Um... Don't know what happened from around the corner, but I rather not ask.

But now, it looks like this new Tv head will join us. Now, introductions?

(wait, why did Swag groaned? Is....)

“Hello, bonjour, assalamu alaikum, hallo!”

Her energy... oh no, is she a social butterfly? I have to be honest, I get overwhelmed too much by anyone with that sort of energy. And she's quickly shaking other's people's hands now; I almost dropped my stuff to a participant in front of me who got their hand shaken and got spooked. And startling three participants who where zoned out.

“The name’s Animsay (Um... hi Animsay. Can I call you Ani?), some of you may know me from a certain site, wink wink, others maybe not. I’m the head of the Social Media Department but we will probably get to that later! Probably.”

OH okay, she's the head of the Social Media Department. Wonder how she manages. But then thinking back at the Art Department, I'm glad my drawing didn't flew into a vent again and ended in the Social Media Department if it got picked next... Because in a short time, I learned, she would probably reveal my drawing to Mr Puzzles immediately if it wasn't for the siblings finding it first; and a large audience as well to see it.

"MOVING ON- if you would start following me again.” Announced Mr Puzzles (ouch my ears) now that he takes back the lead. But... I...

I cannot help but notice his voice, even thought sounding he's cheery, I sort of thought I picked up... he sounds slightly more strained. Did... something happened? Was there something bothering him?

Hm... I think it's best not to show my drawing (I just recovered it) to him if he by chance... Isn't feeling too well (emotionally speaking); and also proving it's not the best time to show fan art. Besides, I'm still self-conscious about sharing my stuff to others.

Animsay seems wanting to socially interact, but I.... I'm not ready. At least the participants in the group of three, the robot rabbit (Bunnybot by @selfshippinglover), the fish woman (Sci by @scimagic), and another with the glasses ("Micheal" by @michaelscorneroftheinternet), seem to get her occupied. And then Animsay moves to talk to another participant, that apparently, used to work for Puzzlevision... Wow. And her name was apparently Mia. (Oh, they know each other. And they hugged as well)

Walking through the long hallway, of the Administration Department (and hoping not to get startled by Animsay. Sorry); several sets of doors on the sides with labels. And further, several windows showing outside. I noticed something big and purple outside, but still cannot make out what it is. We are getting close to a set of doors, that Mr Puzzles has his hands on them, and readying to open them.

“I’m sure you’ve GUESSED by now where we are heading..."

The doors are open. I slowly moved forward to get a better look, even if it means... getting slightly closer to Mr Puzzles. (My Puzzles plushie is at least making me feel comfortable if near the real one). A few steps before stepping outside the studio, I opened my umbrella, just in case, the sun was harsh or a light drizzle. (Hope some would understand no one would like to be under the sun, or getting wet. And the umbrella makes me feel safe).

" The SMG4, now SMG3 castle has gotten a bit of a rework to fit more to it’s NEW crew." Continued Mr Puzzles

Now a few steps outside, along with the group joining. Outside is... It's... a very large courtyard. Grass and planted trees around the edges. Some benches are also there. But in the distance, stands a familiar yet different castle. Purple instead of.... (you know)

Mr Puzzles and I think the group, stopped for a moment halfway into the courtyard. Possibly for everyone to admire the courtyard a little longer before proceeding; and, I'm actually standing next to Mr Puzzles, but I'm keeping my eyes on the remodeled castle.

"This area is often used by employees during BREAKS by the way. It can be accessed from ALL building blocks..." said Mr Puzzles as he indicated the rest of the courtyard. At some parts, there are other buildings nearby, but I focus on the castle on the distance in front of us.

(I wonder if he noticed my presence after finishing talking, and a moderate pause before getting to the castle)

Even with the castle's colors being different... everything is still beautiful.

You know... I wonder if... other than trees, would they also plant a variety of flowers as well. I don't know why, but I'm thinking of white roses... A field of white roses. And it's petals... flying in the breeze... I couldn't help but close my eyes, and (as quietly as possible) hum a tune from the chorus of a Portuguese song from a video game (that also mentions about white roses and full view of its trailer video).

And maybe... the combination of color palettes to the castle, all endless. But little did I realized, Animsay has moved from the middle of the group, to next to me. Now two TV heads are on both sides of me. (And I wanted to again, interact with the Kuromi Tv head or the other ones)

The group start walking.

"Hello," greeted Animsay, and I open my eyes slowly as trying my best not to appear startled. "You like the courtyard?"

I look at her, and I nod politely.

(as long as she doesn't have physical eyes, I feel less nervous)

"Same here. Neat umbrella."

"Thanks." I said

I just hope this interaction didn't get Mr Puzzles' attention. But I try my best to act natural. I hold on to my new plushie in reassurance.

"Oh, you managed to get a plushie of my boss, congrats!" (is she reading my actions or....?)

"Yes." I add that with a small smile, and hugging my plushie.

"Hm... I know it's only for a very short time, but you aren't much of a talker are you?" asked Animsay. (does she know what I have, or is she coaxing me to speak more?)

(Oh boy...)

I'll have to be honest to tell her.

"Well..."

But before I could say anything, I hear a cough from Mr Puzzles. I believed aimed to Animsay, as if saying. 'Now now. Don't overwhelm our dear participants.' I didn't look up to see his screen/face (too nervous).

(I guess now I understand why Swag groaned earlier. Well, I can't blame?)

Animsay takes the hint.

"Oh okay, I'll go back with the others. Ciao."

Well. There she goes. I glance up to Mr Puzzles from under my umbrella, he shows a soft expression as if apologizing if I felt overwhelmed; almost as if he knows Animsay better for being too much. Unsure if he knows about the blue puzzle piece's meaning, or he's soft because I'm holding on to my new Puzzles plushie (or, maybe he noticed my scarred face, and feels pity?) I politely lightly smile. (and not sure where I found the strength to not quickly look away, as if avoiding him. I don't want to appear rude, but looking at faces make me nervous... still to this day, but I have progressed greatly in the past)

Also um... after I turned to look in front, why do I feel like... Has anyone gotten the feeling it's going to be slightly windy, or is it just me?

Now in front of the main doors of the purple castle, Swag and Chris go over to open them. As the doors slightly open, everyone slowly walks to get inside. As I got to close my umbrella, and letting some pass.... something falls off from my vest...

My... Drawing... (I was sure i put it in my inner pocket. Did I misplaced it?)

And in a desperate action, I try to lean down for it, but a gust of wind blows it into the air! Oh... oh no... After I recovered it back from Lucian! And even though I trust him, I'm too embarrassed to ask him. (And did he saw it flew away? or say the face I was making?) Sigh... I don't want a small thing to ruin the tour. I'll move on. I have not crossed the bridge.

Well, moving on.

“WELCOME TO THE SMG3 CASTLE!”, RTV announced, now moving in the middle of the room, next to the crew gang who had meanwhile been gathering while the group fully walked in.

Looking around, it is surely redecorated to fit SMG3's Aesthetic. And, if you all know, purple is a royal color, fun fact. Looking around, and then at the ceiling... the appearance making it look like the night sky.... (I sort of feel tempted to open my umbrella, and dance around and spin, and getting lost into a starry trance-)

I heard the doors close behind, yet I didn't looked back. I knew, my drawing is still flying out there; and I rather not risk slipping out. Oh, Animsay is staying in? ....okay?

Looking back at the center of the castle's lobby, the 'SMG3 Gang' show up lined up; and in uniform (?). Well, hello SMG3 Gang.

(Hm... Tari has no cybernetic arm? I rather not ask)

“Hey! I’m SMG3, but I’m pretty sure ya know that already. I’m the head of the Film Department and also the leader of the SMG3 gang. Me, Tari, Meggy and Boopkins welcome you to our crib- I mean base of operations!”

Hi?.. huh, not sure if I'm looking right, or hearing , but he sounds... tired? (I'm observant). Hm....

(Also, Mr Puzzles really IS TALL!)

But then, Meggy starts to explain more about the Film department, Puzzlevision movies and shows. There's Block C, which I think it's the other building at the courtyard. So... the SMG3 Gang not only act, but also do all the editing and stuff. And then revised by Mr Puzzles (huh...) Well, okay.

(I cannot help but briefly glance at SMG3. And, Tari as well)

“So yeah, if you have any questions, don’t be afraid to ask them! Other than that feel free to explore the castle! I know a lot of fans always want to see it, so go ahead.”

Oh that's nice. But um... are there rules about looking around, or what NOT to do?

“You can go anywhere except for the room upstairs. It's, uh, not cleaned up.” Added SMG3.

Oh okay, no going up the stairs. I'll respect that. (Those stairs seem more safe than the first ones, sorry)

Well, we can ask questions to the Gang, go have a snack to the kitchen, rest and watch anime with Boopkins (ha, seem very eager to show mini episodes), use the restroom (is there just one or several toilets...?), and go to play games with Tari in the game room. The storage? Um... why? But... so many people, I don't know where to start, or who to talk to. Besides, I need to get myself busy from thinking about my recently lost drawing (a second time). Let's see... The SMG3 gang are a lot smaller than... well, you know (I repeat, this place is different with its own rules... and people). Hm... SMG3? hm... I don't know. He almost appears tired, yet he's willing to answer questions (poor guy, maybe he's tired because he forgot to clean the upstairs room at the last minute and couldn't get it done?). I could go over and ask Meggy some questions; in the introduction, she and Boopkins seem to be in a good mood today on the tour. Wonder if she's still a coach of sorts. But also... I need to also be careful with my questions; I also noticed but unlike SMG3, she has faint shadow under he eyes. I hold onto my umbrella and Puzzles Plushie for comfort.

She's already answering other's questions, so I shake off whatever nerves I have, and approach. Also, some have Meggy's plushie, so she has fans.

"Um, hello." I greet Meggy. "Meggy?" She notices me.

"Oh hi. Do you have some questions? Go ahead."

"Well. You and the rest act during filming, so um... What sort of roles do you get? I... I mean, everyone gets?"

(I just hope she didn't noticed my hesitation and moments I cut eye contact. Meeting someone face to face is... overwhelming. Especially, someone different. Not new, but different)

"Well, the acting roles can vary. I for the most part, plays the character who always goes into action, and helps others when they need it! Heh. I even still have the skills of a life coach."

I'm glad to hear that. She can encourage the Gang to have their spirits up; and happy to hear she' still same as always. Hm... but recalling that I noticed SMG3 somewhat tired (am I the only one to notice?), is that even true? I rather not ask about that.

"Alright, another question I have. So..." I think about... I fidget my blue puzzle piece tie clip. "About... um,...." I struggle to think of one.

"No worries, the question that you want, it'll happen soon. Keep trying." Meggy assured me, but it feels like... wanting me to rush me (still good old Meggy i think)- wait, I think I got it! But I want to make sure, I don't point out and offend her (I recall... she can be... a little... hasty. Plus, her reaction, can be very different here). No actually, maybe something else... here it goes.

"Alright, do you learn new things from ongoing experience? I'm wondering, like... trying to be someone else's role model with new experiences?" I then add. "I'm... just curious. Because... there's so many people who are different. Like... me. Who could want advice."

Meggy thinks for a bit.

"Well, I do. Though not much goes, but yeah I learn a thing or two. And um... I did said I still have it as a life coach, I'm afraid I'm a little busy. So, trying to be role model may... be put on hold." Well, It looks like she can no longer do more things, despite earlier sounding like her coach persona. Never mind, I'm waiting for the other question. "As for people different like you...? I... don't know. Care to explain?"

Okay, I'll be honest of myself. I subtly fidget my blue puzzle piece tie clip. Hope Meggy catches on about it.

"Well... Um, I... I'm not much of the type to talk or socialize with others; but that's because... I'm already born with it. Believe me that, I tried to look up to other's for guidance for a very long time ago... a role model... And sometimes the fictional ones on TV..."

As I explain from my experience, Meggy keeps listening. She's... understanding everything. Listening to my struggles. And what I did with a combination of everyone's advices and my own. And maybe a teensy lore drop about (but not all of it) the meaning of my scarred eye and that I found acceptance and lived with it.

"And... well, so far in the tour, it's going well for me. I even spoke to a shy participant a while ago. Small, but it's something. That's why... I get curious to learn new things, but making sure I can do at my own. And how I do it."

Meggy nods.

"I understand. You know what... I think you taught me something new." She smiles and lightly laughs lightheartly. "Ha Heh, well, I'll follow your advice then. And I'll keep in mind of making sure you are accommodated. Thanks for letting me know. You are very brave, that maybe you can teach others."

OH? I... what!? I was dumbfounded by that. If i said I couldn't find a role model, then... am I a role model myself and never noticed?

"Oh, and... knowing there's many participants and might not remember their names. What's yours?"

"My name's Ra-"

"Hallo!" Out popped Animsay out of nowhere. This scared me that I accidentally sent my Puzzles Plushie flying and dropping my umbrella; I bent to pick it up. And I think it also startled Meggy and nearby participants. "Hey, Meggy. How's it going with answering questions of others?"

While they are distracted, that's my cue that I'm done asking questions. I pick up my umbrella that is near, and go to my plushie that flew near the stair case. The east wing. (hope no one mistakes it as theirs since all Mr Puzzles' plushie look all the same)

"Ahem?"

I turn around, and it was SMG3. OH boy, the displeased look is making me nervous. And he's standing near my plushie; he goes and picks it up before I could. But before he would say anything.

"I apologize... I came to pick up my plushie... um... Animsay came and... I got spooked badly... I wasn't going up the stairs. I would never go against the rules you set. Oh... and Hi" I awkwardly wave at him.

Then, I got distracted that, with my sensitive hearing, did I heard like a dog whining? And it came up the stairs. I think SMG3 picked up.

"Is there... a dog up there?" I casually ask, the nervousness replaced by curiosity.

"...Yes. But, I cannot bring him out. And if you are curious, I already fed him before you guys came. And, again, not going up the stairs."

"Alright." I answered politely. SMG3 hands me back my Mr Puzzles plushie.

And then, the participant with the horns, red eyes and red ribbons (Grinnanes by @grinnames), approaches him with a large smile; seeing she has his plushie, she's a fan of him. I overheard her name is Grinnames.

Once they leave, I glance at the guest room. The door is open.

So, the guest room is for everyone to relax, and watch whatever anime Boopkins would play. I got to be honest, I used to watch anime, but only the Saturday mornings... English dub edit (4Kids TV, sorry but lol); so... not used to the... larger... variety. I was not aware I was staring from the door's frame as a random anime was playing; a habit of watching something on TV from afar or behind the window.

The mini anime ended there (something about a gang of con artists, I never heard of), and as Boopkins stood up to look for another one, he looked at me peaking from the door. I... felt a bit embarrassed and surprised.

"Oh hello, are you coming to watch anime?"

Well, he's inviting me. Being polite, I agree and come into the guest room. There are a few participants in the room, all mostly chilling, drawing, but also watching anime. And also, the guest room looks slightly different than I remember (again, different place).

"Hello." I greeted the little guy.

"We finished a mini anime episode so... OH! How about you pick one to watch?"

Oh, is he giving me the honors? Well, if there's one anime series I enjoy watching, it's Pokemon.

"Pokemon." I answered. And since Boopkins will show only mini episodes. "Um... the Pikachu and Pichu short from the Pikachu shorts?"

I got to be honest, that short is my favorite. And I hope, Boopkins has it; and still likes Pokemon.

"Hm... Oh yeah, I think I do have it! It's bundled with the Spell of the Unown Movie. Let me set it up!"

Boopkins waddles to look into the DVD case of all the anime he has, and sure enough, he finds it. And now... Settle to sit on a bundle of pillows, set my Puzzles plushie on my lap and umbrella next to me... show time. The anime reminded me when I was young; I love Pokemon. Oh the little adventures of the Pokemon, making friends... having fun... causing minor mischief as they run around the city... As I'm waiting for the part of the playground...

I... didn't realized that Boopkins left, and brought a reluctant SMG3 to the guest room. But where's Grinnames? (hm... not an anime fan? or Pokemon fan?)

"...Fine, what are we watching?" I heard SMG3 grumble a little.

"We are watching a Pokemon short! It's pretty good." But I wasn't expecting to hear... "And she (me) picked just the right one that is an old classic."

I looked over, and... SMG3 looks at me; I, being the one who picked the anime short. He raises an eyebrow while keeping a serious yet tired look. Shrugs and sits next to me... moving my umbrella close to me. (so awkward after the incident with the plushie on the staircase).

But anyways, me and the ones present continue watching the Pokemon short.

As it went, I thought I heard SMG3 mutter, "Decent choice"

:0....

Seeing the scene of the Playground Pikachu and the Pichu brothers playing along with the siblings' friends, it makes me wonder, if there could be a playground built like that (albeit with better safety measures). I would like to go around and explore a playground like that. And, everyone would also want to...

Out of the corner of my eye, the window of the guest room is partially open. And... My drawing flies in! Flying up on the ceiling and not (somehow) falling down; and no one notices it (phew). (I'm sweating imaginary bullets). I was just about to stand up slowly when-

"So... How's the anime binge watching going?" It's Animsay... (did she just got here?)

My drawing flew near a vent and... disappears... Oh boy. Where did it go? (Why do I feel like, it's going to repeat again? and maybe... Lucian won't be the one to find it again this time)

"OH Ani, hi! greeted Boopkins. "Anime is pretty good!"

"Eh, good I guess..." said SMG3. "At least, something okay. Boopkins gave Robo-fox umbrella girl (me)-"

"Ahem?" It looks like Animsay doesn't like nicknames. Well, technically, SMG3 doesn't know my name, so I don't take offense to it.

"Ugh... Boopkins gave the tour participant here the honors to pick an anime short to watch. For once" he mutters the last part.

"We just about to finish the Pikachu short movie. I'm thinking to putting on another mini short; And I think, maybe watch another classic Pikachu short anime."

"Mind if i join?" said Animsay.

"Yes!" Boopkins beams.

She sits down. "I was almost done talking to a half of participants (half?), then got bored and came here. Btw..." I notice her look at me. "Your uniform stands out a lot, because it was the first thing I saw before coming in the guest room. You like stripes?

I have to be honest, I do.

"Yes"

Despite the remaining minutes left on the short movie, I grab my plushie and umbrella, and slowly get up.

"Bye," said Boopkins. "It's nice having you watch anime."

I smile. I leave the guest room.

Now... where did my lost drawing went? In the kitchen, the bathroom, the storage room, the game room....? You know... in either room, I'm sure I'll find it. Btw, 20 minutes passed, so... I guess being here will last an hour or an hour and with an additional half an hour? I better hurry...

Next is.... the game room with Tari I guess. I'm curious what games to play with her. A glance around the castle's lobby as I approach the game room, I see the silhouette-like girl again, standing and not interacting with anyone with a slightly irritated look... Hm... I'll try to speak with her later.

Entering the game room. Sure enough, the interior remains almost unchanged; still with purple hues and different carpeting, but it's still much the same. I see a couple of participants playing on the retro arcade games, and looking to the sofa and big Tv screen, there's Tari, and another participant, playing Super Smash Bros Ultimate...

Wait... Tari doesn't have her special arm now that I remember (this Tari), how is she still playing? And... has she... changed? Never mind, I survey the game room a little to check if my drawing ended up in here... It's not here.

My attention turns back to Tari and the random participant.

"Ha ha! Great play." said Tari to the participant. (is it just me, or i heard a hint of defeat?)

(Hello)

Apparently, I think they won. And if I recall, Tari was super good on video games; but all thanks to her cybernetic arm...

...Was...

Never mind, since the drawing isn't here, might as well get distracted with some games to ease my anxiety to look for it; if I got it back for playing the waiting game and not get in trouble, it'll return to me without consequences again. Now, everyone seems to want to play on the arcade games and with Tari. Is there room for another? Or,... looking how she is, maybe there could be a different game she and I can both play? Maybe later...

"Hello." I greet Tari from next to the couch.

"Oh hi." She greets back. "Want to play?"

"I... yes. It's Smash Bros Ultimate? Because... used to play Melee and Brawl; the latter, with the GameCube controller."

Huh, I talked without the nervousness in my voice.

"Of course, everyone would like to play and challenge me" She smiles, but... I feel, she feels a bit down. Like as if she gets beaten in the game now. And gotten used to it. Her old title of being good at games now limited.

"Well..." I turn to the participant. "Say, how about I challenge you to a match? I'll main Kirby." I want to "avenge" Tari for losing her title, sort of. But also have fun.

The participant looks at me as if pensive with a low brow. But nods shortly. I sit on the couch, set my umbrella and plushie between Tari and I...

3... 2... 1... GO!

One match later, with life stocks of 4, I almost beaten the participant but they bested me; I'm a bit rusted from the game, and first time using a Switch controller. At first, three stocks taken from me, but then I tied quickly. I could tell everyone in the room and some from the lobby got close to see how it went since the tie round was taking slightly longer with no winner yet; and possibly betting I was going to kick their butt. But a bad timed sneeze (but a good timed meme), I missed a combo, dropped my controller, my hair frizzed up (my hair clips somehow staying strong), and my Kirby got sent to space by their main. They won. Yet, Tari and few others clapped at me anyways. And some still reeling from laughing of the sneeze I made. I didn't realized (until much later) SMG3 came to see the commotion, and my Pomeranian like sneeze made him laugh the Mutahar Laugh sound effect (I thought it was another participant with a very ticklish funny bone); I'll get to it later.

GG

"Ha ha, well done. You did played the game before, and you almost won." She smiles brightly at me.

"GG" said someone.

It looks like the participant wants someone to challenge them. They got their win streak alright. Everyone huddles to have a turn. I quickly gather my Puzzle Plush and umbrella before I accidentally leave them.

I think it's time I ask Tari questions.

"Well, I think everyone has a controller. So Tari, do you have any board games or card games to play?"

Tari nods and guides be to a shelf with boardgames. She asks which one, so I scan them... one of them gets my attention: Inscryption.

"And Tari, do you know about the video game version as well?" I asked out of curiosity if she knew.

"Ah yes. The game mechanics, the story, the Scrybes, found footage... and..." Ah, she knows it.

Time for a bit of humor.

"GO Fish"

This earns a soft giggle out of Tari. I think she knows who the Angler character is. Seeing her smile... makes me happy.

The Inscryption game is set, and settling on Leshy's version; there's the Dead cards, Magick cards, and Technology cards, but Leshy's is pretty interesting. Shuffling the cards, and splitting the Squirrel cards, setting Leshy's scale. But of course, Leshy's version has a... dark edge to it, so I helped make the Leshy version less edgy with improvised ways I came up as to make Tari less uneasy. I also improvised an additional mechanic to the candles, of who can snuff all two candles first to win (and a custom DeathCard as a consolation price); sort of like the Kaycee's Mod, and Tari also knows about it and finds it entertaining. And besides, I curiously decided to act like Leshy's narration and character. (Insert Inscryption, "Death Card Cabin" ost)

"The stalwart Snapper, a near impenetrable defense..." or "The amorphous Amoeba. Its sigils are ever changing."

And some of the cards during play, they have sigils; and others post- added as patches, as if they went through the Mysterious Stones as seen in the digital video game (has the Crew Gang played it before and left the sigil stamps on?). Like, some have more than two; limit is 4 sigils. I love that mechanic; I think all the mechanics of Leshy's and P03's are good.

Oh, and since Tari doesn't have her other arm/hand to hold her cards, my Puzzles Plushie is there to hold them for her, easy. She at first was nervous at it, and I admit, it almost looks as if it's looking at you; and a bit distracting. But telling her since my Puzzles Plush is mine and if I'm not the type to make anyone uncomfortable, so my plush is same as I. And as the game went, we also chatted a little; all the while I secretly want to make Tari win. (to secretly to boost her confidence,.... and I want a custom DeathCard, ha ha)

I even talked about the Scrybes: Grimora, Leshy, P03, and Magnificus. That, what if they worked together. Leshy could be the narrator/storyteller, Grimora would write the story and lore of the world and characters, P03 could be the mechanics designer, and Magnificus the one to make the game's art. There could be harmony... they could have made an amazing game. Tari ponders on that... and nods as if understanding.

The game didn't took more than 7 minutes that passed... And note, I think games of any kind brings out my more social side.

"So, I'm curious to ask Tari. Do you also take video game requests to play by others?" Now, because remember the song I quietly hummed in the courtyard that is from a video game? It's time I talk about it. Me and Tari are tied with one "lit" candle left each.

"Well... I think you are the first one to ask that." (Oh? the first?) She answers meekly. "Everyone all wanted to play Smash Bros matches today... what are my favorite video games, and well..." She trails off, but returns to hear from me. "Okay, what game you want me to check out?" She's 2 points on the scale from losing, but I won't let her.

"There's this game that is a Puzzle RPG game, with pixels and everything. The title is called "Lenin the Lion." And it has a semi bittersweet story, about the only albino lion born in a village of normal lions...."

A small skip to avoid spoilers, and saying how the game resonated with me.

" ...The whole game is about learning self-acceptance... And it also has a good soundtrack and art."

And then... Tari wins, but still listening to the topic. She nods. I reach to make a custom Death Card, as the table is cleared so Tari, can play as Leshy, to help me build it with my deck.

"Well, I'm more of a competition type of gamer, but your video game request caught my attention. I think I'll look it up." (YES!)

Cost None (thanks to a Geck); Attack 3 and Health 3 (from an Amalgam); Sigils (from a pre-buffed Amoeba) Amorphous, Sharp Quills, and Unkillable.

(Wow, most of the ones are rare Beasts cards)

Next is... the name-

"You seem like a good and fun person, Rayas. I love the creativity of how to play it, like as if you came up with a new Mod." And finally... the portrait. "Okie dokie, say cheese!"

"GG"

"GG"

Me and Tari shake hands. Ha ha, just like-

"HII!" Loudly saluted Animsay, startling some of the participants; including me and Tari. "Who's winning?" she comes in the game room.

(Oh boy, is Animsay going to keep popping up? or... is she following me?)

"Um... hi Animsay," shyly answered Tari. I politely waved after reeling from the surprise.

"Hey, how come you are not playing Smash Bros with everyone?" She looks at the table. "Oh, what's this? In...scryption...?"

Looking at both girls, I noticed the change in the mood, almost as if... something wasn't meant.... Wait, let me see how to diffuse that. Hm... I got it!

"Hi... Me and Tari were having fun with this tabletop game I asked to play. Would you... like to play?"

It appears Animsay is curious now. And her blue line that serves as her mouth shapes as if smiling. I think it's a yes. Tari stands up to go and play with the other participants, and leaving me with Animsay. But question is... does Animsay know how to play it?

So basically, Animsay, realized she indeed not know much of Inscryption, but she "downloaded" all the info. Ha ha, the loading screen sort of looked like P03's three dots when loading. Looking at her head, she really gives me P03 impression in appearance based on her "face." So, she wanted to play Technology style, and I like it, but um... I like Beasts style... But wait, to diffuse that, why not try Technology and Beasts? Animsay can use Technology, and I'll use Beasts. And maybe include the Mox vessels and Kaycee's Mod items and cards to make it more interesting.

Ha ha, I cannot believe I came up with a new Mod: Rayas' Mod, Nature versus Technology.

The time of playing it against Animsay, it feels like as if she's the Scrybe of Technology, and I'm the Scrybe of Beasts; P03 versus Leshy. Well, my head shape is confusing, it's a fennec fox head, but it has metal parts (but the cog gear on my head is completely natural... and still natural I am); but based on a quote from the Iron Giant, I can choose who I want to be.... Leshy... So far, the game is going well. And, even using my custom Deathcard for a spin, ha ha! (and then Animsay learned my name that way). Some small talk, as usual (because Animsay is a social butterfly, and I'm trying to be polite)

"Hope you didn't mind that before going in, I heard you talk a storm with Tari." said Animsay. "I'm glad you are opening up. When I met you, you only spoke short sentences..."

I nod in acknowledgement and I say, "I also like games, like Tari."

"Ahem? Animsay..." I heard the familiar voice of R Mr Puzzles. I heard almost everyone stop what they were doing, and waited. (creepy...) His tone sounded... ominous, or slightly annoyed? Did something happened out of the Game Room? He comes into the room (I bring my plushie closer to me), but a few feet away from the table me and Animsay are. And Mr Puzzles somehow makes a gesture for everyone to carry on.

"Ah, hello Boss. I was here all along, just playing with the participants. And definitely not making a ruckus, ha ha." Animsay is telling the truth, she's been here playing Inscryption with me the whole time. Hm... is this... my cue to leave the game with no winner, or do I wait to continue playing since we are tied for 9 minutes? (plus, i have a lost drawing to find) (but I'm curious for another Deathcard, whether the Leshy version or the fancy neon blue Technology base if Animsay loses; if the latter, the "Ani-Bot")

"Is that so? Well... Alright! Just checking where you went to. And the tour wouldn't truly go without the Head of the Social Media Department, yes?" He then turns to look at me (...eyes...). "Has she given you any trouble?" (I think he remembers the courtyard ramble)

"No, not at all," I politely answer with a shake of my head. "We are having fun. The game is going well."

He lightly smiles.

(Wow, I directly spoke to him!)

"Well, then," he turns to Animsay (phew). "Just wanted to say, 18 more minutes before announcing the next voting." I heard that.

So, shortly, there was no winner since Animsay quickly went to play one of the arcade machines, but not before we shook hands as a sign of GG. Though, I noticed she looked at my hand a little longer, as if gazing at it; it's probably nothing. And before I left, after gathering my umbrella and Puzzles Plushie, I went to thank Tari that she got to play one game with someone she enjoyed. She smiles.

Now in the Lobby, with the minutes left for the next vote, I'm feeling a little hungry. I went to the kitchen, and hope there's still something left to eat. Once again, I look around the crowd, and the same silhouette girl is just there, dissociating.... and rubbing her head. Hm... but my body is telling me to eat, or I might starve during the remainder of the Tour.

Alright, not all of the snacks and drinks are gone, because I just witnessed the girl with the horns and red ribbons, Grinnames, raid the kitchen!! (slow down). There's some pizza, some donuts, a bowl with many candy, cheese puffs, water, coffee, tea, soda... So glad none of it ran out, because I quickly scooped what I'll eat before she does; and I'm lucky to find the last slice of an All-cheese Pizza (yummy). While eating my fill, I see her starting to cook. What is it she making? And is that allowed, other than not going up the stairs? Hm... I leave my stuff on a table, and go to near the coffee maker and some packets of tea. I look a little longer, and I found a glass container of powder green tea; matcha. This sparks me an idea. If Grinnames is cooking something, I think I would as well.

Managing to find milk, powdered cinnamon, a bit of syrup, and the tool to make the matcha froth (and search on Google ha ha), I start up to making a matcha latte. I have tasted it before, and it was good, very good. And I'm going to make one... I never made matcha latte...

I glance a little, and Grinnames is cooking... something. Not sure what it is, but hope she knows what she's making. I don't think she looked what I was making; busy much? And, for herself, or for someone? OH, for someone actually. After it is done, she leaves it in the fridge. A surprise...?

Well, as for me... i think I accidentally made too much to be just for me.... i find a pitcher, luckily.

Just as I add the powdered cinnamon as the final touch, I could swear it released a strong earthy aroma; it was good based on the smell filling the kitchen. Did I do it right? Shortly, SMG3 comes into the kitchen, smelling the air. He looks around, and finds me, with the finished matcha latte in a large-enough paper coffee cup; and the left over in a medium size pitcher because I'm not always good with measurements, but final product turning out decent nonetheless. I don't know how to describe the expression, but I hope it isn't what I think because I used some kitchen equipment and stuff from the fridge and pantry; or because it seems during the day wherever he goes, I'm always there somehow (not my intention). I look at Grinnames, and she beams with her eyes; so the dish is a surprise for him?

"What... are you doing?" SMG3 addresses me first, he slowly walks to me. His look and tone... I don't think using the equipment and ingredients in the kitchen is allowed...

Grinnames points to the fridge as a the surprise, but SMG3's attention is solely at me. And not in a good way. His eyes look exhausted... tired..

I have to be honest.

"I... made myself a matcha latte... um... I'll clean the utensils I used before leaving, um..." I'm a wreck... But maybe... "But... do you want some?"

SMG3 looks at me, and the matcha latte in my hand. Um...

He finally grabs it. Smells it a little bit, and finally a sip... And, as he closes his eyes, I thought I saw the shadow in his eyes fade very slowly; or maybe my anxiety is making me see things? What does he think of it?

"This latte... It's good, very good." He says softly, and... a soft smile contrasting his usual Evil Cool persona. "I really needed it."

(I... on the first try...!)

"I... Glad you like it," I sort of couldn't help but, thinking of wanting to hug-

I heard a small growl in the kitchen. It was Grinnames. She looks irritated, but why... Oh! I just took SMG3's attention from the surprise dish, unintentionally. She worked so hard on it! Ugh, how to make it up for it? (and making sure she doesn't hold a grudge on me throughout the tour) Hm...

"Um... the latte isn't the only thing. You see..." Indicating Grinnames, she stops growling. "She and I,... have a surprise we cooked." The girl's expression changes to confusion.

"...You did?" the she asks confused, as if she doesn't know what I'm trying to do.

"We did," I "corrected." I open the fridge, and she takes out the mystery surprise dish after getting the message. Now, she looks anticipated for SMG3 to try the dish; a positive glow in her eyes.

The dish doesn't have a physical description, but I hope it pays off. After cutting a piece for SMG3, and me to try as well (out of politeness and curiosity), and a bite...

"Mmm! This dish is out of the park! I tell you, you two outdid it." He gives the thumbs up, with his iconic smirk.

I admit, the physically indescribable dish is delicious (might ask on how to make it with a little bit of a la Rayas style). My matcha, well, my first time and never done it in my life... it's decent. Grinnames smiles.

I'm glad I made her happy again after clearing the misunderstanding.

"Well, thanks for the surprise girls. The latte and the dish, I'm sure the Gang will like it. I appreciate it." He leaves...

(I guess my matcha is part of the surprise then...)

Now alone in the kitchen...

"Do you have brain damage?" Grinnames asks me. Guess she's still confused.

"Um... what?" (don't have brain damage, but does the cog gear on my head makes it look like that?)

"I didn't see you helping me with my cooking. Or did you secretly help me, because you're some sort of mysterious good Samaritan?"

I chuckle lightly.

"Well..." I explained how much she worked on the surprise dish for SMG3 and the Gang, and it was unfair that SMG3 didn't noticed it first. And that I wanted to clear the misunderstanding and made sure SMG3 finds the surprise. Her dish, it's delicious! She understood, and smiles (those teeth...)

"I'm Rayas," I extend my hand for a handshake.

"I'm Grinnames" we shake hands (hello Grinnames)

(I think I made another friend in the tour group)

Well, I think it's almost time for the next vote? Before leaving the kitchen, I serve myself my matcha from the leftover in a paper coffee cup after drinking my first round (offscreen); a smaller one to take to make it last for the Gang. And not forgetting to wash the utensils used, and clean everything, I remember. I grab my umbrella and plushie, and head to the lobby. And, Animsay has not popped up in the kitchen (sorry...).

Hm... the drawing wasn't in the kitchen so...

"Hey"

I look, and it's SMG3. He gestures me to talk to me. He still has not finished the matcha latte I made.

"You got something stuck on your back."

Oh? I reached behind and... It's my drawing! Did it got stuck moments before leaving the kitchen. I hope it wasn't facing for the world to see... luckily it isn't (not sure how one member of the SMG3 Gang will react to the existence of other places... and other Puzzles...). I quickly pocket it (and making sure it is tucked in the right place this time), and I thank SMG3 for spotting it but while being vague what it is. But before turning around...

"I got to say... you aren't so bad."

"Oh?"

"Well... you made me at least like a Pokemon from the anime you picked. The Houndour..."

"Well, the Houndour is a dark type... And there's more with that type."

"Exactly... When you made that Pomeranian sneeze at the game room, Oh I never thought I would laugh my a** off. There are times during filming I don't get to see something really REALLY funny happening to laugh at. The way your head shook and your hair frizzing up were the best."

He was the one who made the Mutahar Laugh alright. Glad I made him laugh. I giggle at that.

"Lastly, other than the dish you and Grinnames made, that matcha latte... it made me feel less exhausted and much calmer. Making myself less tired for the next filming deadlines to come...," he pauses for a moment as if realizing he's bringing up his work, but brushes it. "Besides, I'm sure the Gang will love the dish and latte. They will need it just as I." (awww)

I smile hopefully. And i think now... I can give him questions now.

"I'm glad you are, SMG3. I admit, I was nervous around you after the incident with the staircase... but I think I'm feeling ready to ask. H-Here it goes... What do you think of the tour so far?"

SMG3 ponders for a moment. Scratching the back of his neck (Is that missing texture on his... oh, right)

"... Honestly, a bit weary; and maybe still. I won't get into detail, but as the head of the film department, and as editor and actor, it can get a bit much. Sometimes when getting ready to some big event, you try your best to have enough rest and rehearsed. I think it's the nerves. As of the Tour right now, a lot of people being strangers... I think... I thought this will be like... too much at first. People all from around, and imagining getting more tired as you try to answer their questions. But... the right answer for that..." SMG3 looks at me with a calm look. he sips the final ounces of the matcha. "Not too bad at all. Not everyone here is... weird. It's just being them. Again, thanks for the matcha latte and dish. Um... I called you earlier "robo-fox umbrella girl," so... what is your name?"

"You are welcome SMG3. My name is Rayas." SMG3 smiles.

"Heh, I noticed you aren't much of a talker before, but hey. You warmed up."

Well, he doesn't think it's all bad; but when I saw his tired expression, he probably thought he couldn't go on with it. But if he found the tour not bad at all... I wonder if its because of me, a visitor, going on tour with everyone... I smile at the fact at least I and Grinnames, help make something for the Gang. I wonder if SMG3 figured out, that I'm in the spectrum with the last comment.

As SMG3 goes to throw the cup to the trash, Boopkins shows up and comes to me.

"Hi, I heard the tour group will be leave soon, so since I gave you the honors to pick an anime, here's a little present." Boopkins reaches from a pocket, and takes out an acrylic Pichu Brothers keychain. I'm... speechless. But I thank him and accept the present.

"Thanks... Boopkins" I say before he indicates me to bend down. He gives me a side hug... and then he skips happily elsewhere.

I.... i....

(is this allowed or....?)

And shortly after that, Tari comes over.

"Hello Rayas." she greets me, before she reaches for something in her pocket. "Here, glad to have played with you."

Tari hands me... the custom DeathCard she helped me make after our Inscryption game?

"Um... I... Tari... I don't know what to say...."

"It's okay. Besides, I also made a copy of your Deathcard. The one you have is a token, you earned it!" Tari gives me the thumbs up and she hugs me. And doing my best to keep my stuff while hugging back. Seems things are going well. (but the silhouette girl has not left my mind). She leaves as well.

Meggy looks over, and as soon as she sees me, she smiles and gives me the thumbs up. I smile and follow the gesture.

Um... am I getting an exclusive farewell event? Or have I become a sympathy/empathic magnet? (and maybe a Animsay magnet...?) Well, the least I can do is be polite. I look at the little presents.

SMG3 then comes over after taking the paper cup of his finished latte to the kitchen trash... so, now what?

"Welp, guess I better do some last minute QnA," he then looks at me. "Voting time will be happening soon, so you better get with the group."

SMG3 looks at the gifts. He raises an eyebrow, and immediately puts it together. His eye roll expression is pretty comical. I lightly giggle, as I put the gifts in my vest pocket.

For a moment, I stretch my hand for a handshake; he's the last one to give me a handshake. The hugs might be optional for him, knowing him. He indeed does shake my hand.

Well, seeing him with a smile (despite still looking tired) before leaving to walk around for some participants to gather around him... things seem to go fine.

Everyone starts to gather for the next voting.

"ALRIGHT, (ouch my ears) NEXT VOTE STARTS NOW!” announced Mr Puzzles.

Oh boy, I almost dropped my matcha latte and umbrella and plushie. I expected for it to be loud, but still... After two participants mark their vote, I was about to... when the silhouette girl with the heart eye comes in quickly and leaves in a hurry. Um... As I mark my vote, I saw her grab a bottle of water and went to the bathroom.

A part of me wanted to see what was wrong, another was to leave it... And the other part... I have to go in case there aren't bathroom breaks for the remainder of the tour; y-yeah. So... I waited a little, until I walked to the outside of the bathroom; it appears she's taking long. I was about to knock, when my sensitive hearing heard... something being thrown, and what appears to be... crying? Is she okay...? I lightly knock on the door.

"Hello?... Um...," but I carefully think, and as sounding to not rushing things to the girl on the other side of the door (even if I'm starting to feel the need to go). "Take your time... I... I'm not in a rush."

....No answer.

I think, Lucian picked up the fact I needed to go and went to check; pretty sure he wants everyone ready before heading to the next department. I wonder if he knows her...

His head shows the word, "U ok?"

"I am. But... I think want to wait until whoever is in there leaves. They're.... not sounding well. My... bathroom break can hold."

Hm... is there... something I can do, without her knowing she has my attention, but at the same time make her feel better? I want to avoid being nosy, and I don't want that. Plus, the look she was showing looked hostile... And as for me, I'm sensitive. I look at my untouched matcha latte. And then at Lucian. (I trust him since the return of my drawing)

"Um... would you like some matcha latte?" I asked. (Should have phrased it as gifting the latte as repayment for the recovery of my lost drawing, but my heart was in a different place)

"It's nice, but I already drank something. So no, but thanks for the offer."

Well, if he doesn't, maybe... the silhouette girl would want it?

"Um, okay... could you... give it to whoever is in the bathroom once they leave?," Lucian's "face" shows a question mark. "But I cannot let them know I'm giving it to them, and that I crafted it. Since I don't know how... they'll react towards me. J-Just give it to them. And then tell me what they think of it. Just say, someone (me) offered you the matcha latte, and... um... Uh... Yeah, that you already drank something before... um... C-Could you... please do that?"

......

"I could try, but no promises."

"Thanks, Lucian. And thanks for returning my drawing." I lightly smile. Lucian gives a thumbs up.

I hear the knob move, and the silhouette girl comes out. I quickly go in, but a quick glance from the corner of my eye caught what appears to have been dried tears on her face. Well... the need to go is starting to nag, so... you know...

(Why did I decided to wear suspenders under the vest? Because I thought it would be stylish even when the vest covers them)

I looked around the bathroom, and it appears slightly more furnished. I saw a crumbled water bottle on the floor further away... (what happened?)

Sigh... I just hope I did the right thing at the right time... And I hope I don't get myself in trouble in other's affairs; but my heart... is too big. But at least, she doesn't know; she won't know.

I quickly hurry up to get ready. I fix my vest when my drawing (somehow) falls out of the inner vest pocket. Okay... i just hope it doesn't randomly fly away into the possibly half closed window of the bath-

......!

....... crap.

I hear knocking on the other side of the bathroom. I heard the voice of Lucian. It's time to go.

I exit the restroom after washing my hands (and easing my anxiety as best as possible). And gathering my things. Subconsciously, I chose not to look at Lucian, and the silhouette girl. I'm too scared to see what transpired while I was in the bathroom; or what has yet to transpire. I hug my Puzzles plushie and umbrella for comfort.

I hope everything will turn out fine.

So... I learned, everyone will be heading to the Social Media Department. And Animsay is the head of said department...

Oh boy...

(And I still have a drawing to recover for what's left of the tour.)

Everyone slowly head outside for a moment, basking in the sun for the final verdict. And then I open my umbrella; it makes me feel safe under it. One last look back, I see the SMG3 wave back. Ha ha! I could tell briefly they saw me in the crowd.

Recalling the good things to ease my nerves, I recall all of the good things I did with the SMG3 Gang; and I place a hand on my vest's pocket, where the little gifts are. With the leftover matcha latte of mine and Grinnames' dish, I'm feeling hopeful they will enjoy it. And making another friend in the tour group.

Just, focus on the bright side, and wait for the good things to come.

But if something goes wrong... There's that bridge I'll keep crossing to reach the other side.

___________

Author's notes: I went overkill with this ONE!! More fun and longer than the last. No drawings this time, but a custom Card based on the game Inscryption, with Rayas in it. Plus, for the first time, I directly discussed with someone over each sona's actions. Hope it all goes well for another one.

Well, she lost her drawing again....

The lost drawing in question below...

(Between The Star and AV Puzzles is Astro by @the-masked-astro , one of the participants on the tour) All Ocs/AUs belong to their owners and can be found here Puzzlevision Mass Attack)

Note about the drawing. In the story, her drawing is impervious to getting destroyed/damaged, and the only one who can is Rayas since she made it. So, anyone not from her home or herself, it's like stretching an unbreakable rubber band.

Note, interactions available, but comment/dm first. Plus, if anything, I might slightly change the story here.