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waytooinvested · 11 months ago

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Fandom creators tag game

1. What sort of content do you create, and what is the thing you’ve made that you’re most proud of? Mostly I write fanfiction. Sometimes I make little needle felted character dolls. Over all proudest is probably still The Hands I Used to Touch (Call the Midwife), but for my current fandom (Supergirl) it's Forgotten, Not Forgiven, as that is my latest big project and home to all the fluffy supercorp that I need in my life (okay not in the published chapters but IT WILL BE EVENTUALLY I PROMISE)

2. What fandom(s) do you create for? Right now just Supergirl, and I have only written three fics for that one so far (but hopefully more to come!) Before that it was Call the Midwife.

3. What is your current favourite ship (or brotp if you prefer), and how controversial is it? Supercorp, ie Kara/Lena for Supergirl (I know, I’m so quiet about it on this blog you would never have guessed). It occupies an interesting space of being simultaneously entirely non controversial in that it is by far the biggest ship I have ever engaged with, while also being extremely divisive, both within and beyond fandom spaces. But I arrived here LONG after most of that had happened, and am now just happily playing in the sandpit of creative space while the bones of drama stay *mostly* buried. Always a bit of a shock when one rises up to try and kick down your sandcastle though (yes, I am aware that that is a mildly horrifying visual)

4. For your answer to question 3, are they canon? They are not (TECHNICALLY), but there is enough raw material in canon to build The São João Baptista, and that is enough for me. That and the 21,302 (and counting) fics with their relationship tag on AO3.

5. What was your first fandom, and how old were you? The first I actually engaged with other fans over was Call The Midwife in my early 20s, and that was because I snapped after seeing one too many tv lesbians get hit by a car.

6. What is your most unhinged fandom creation to date? Unhinged is not really my brand so I don't really have anything good for this one. Is Kara gets accidentally miniaturized unhinged? Or a bait and switch Lena "villain" arc? I think probably not really to either, but that's the closest I've got for this fandom so far...

7. Do you remember what started you off creating fandom content, and if so, what was it? The aforementioned incident between Delia and a car, which left her with amnesia and taken away to Wales mere moments after she and Patsy had moved in together. But I’m over it. Honest.

8. Do you let people you know in real life see your fandom creations? Not usually, I get shy about it. The exceptions are my wife (but we met via fandom so that one maybe doesn’t count) and on occasion my best friend, who talked me round by being an enthusiastic sweetheart.

9. How do you feel about fanworks of fanworks? Has anyone ever made something based on a thing you made? A few people have made fan art for my fics and it felt like the absolute highest compliment that could be paid to my writing. It was amazing to know that something I wrote meant enough to people to inspire them to go and create their own thing from it, and I loved getting to see other people’s takes on the version of the characters/story I had created. I think it's one of the best things about fandom communities! But I do understand why other people might feel differently about something they have poured so much of themselves into making, so I guess the main thing is trying to be respectful with it, crediting the source, and accepting people's boundaries. Basically I think we should all just be kind to each other and have fun.

10. What feeling do you most often try to evoke with your creations? I'm generally seeking my own catharsis through writing fix-it fic for painful things that happened in canon, so I guess a certain amount of pain followed by the eventual fluffy feel good satisfaction of resolution, but honestly I consider it a win if I can evoke a whole spectrum of emotions along the way.

11. Has someone ever paid your work a compliment (in any form) that has stuck with you, and what was it? Someone once liked my fic so much that she married me about it, so it’s hard to beat that haha. But on a more usual level, people making fanart for my fic was a HUGE one. And also just when people have left particularly in depth comments, commented on every chapter, told me they're rereading or that a fic of mine was their favourite etc... Basically just knowing that something I made has really meant something to someone gives me all of the warm fuzzy feelings, and I am very grateful to each and every person who has taken the time to tell me so!

12. What’s your favourite thing someone else has made that you’ve seen in the last 24 hours (and link it if you can find it again!) Originally I had the bouquet toss ficlet by @fazedlight here, because it just captures the characters so beautifully, but then I left this sitting in my drafts and it is now more than 24 hours ago that I saw it, so I'll add this adorable art by @awaitingrain, because LOOK AT IT! They are so cute??! Also I relate to gentle nomming as a display of affection XD

13. Give a small sneak preview of something you’re working on right now (eg a couple of sentences of fic from a WIP, a gif set theme, a small piece of a larger picture, whatever you feel happy to share) "Lena Luthor was dangling from the side of a cliff, nothing between her and the vast chasm of space below but the small jutting nodule she was clinging to to keep from falling.

How the hell had she ended up here?

Well. She knew how of course.

Kara Danvers was how."

14. Have you ever seen/read anything made by the person who tagged you? If so, what was it and what was your favourite thing about it? (pick a favourite if there are several) SO MANY!! it’s hard to pick a favourite of hers honestly because she is a RIDICULOUSLY good writer, but I’m going to go with The Next Best Thing by @cynicalrainbows. I don’t tend to read many kidfics but this one is the absolute best I have come across, she captures the child perspective fantastically well while also being incredibly engaging and entertaining to an adult reader. It is what successfully pulled me into reading Six fanfic despite (at that point) never having seen the musical. Even if you haven’t either, I wholeheartedly recommend checking it out. Or go and read her new Paperdolls fic and help grow that fandom, which I think currently has all of two people in it!

15. Do you leave comments on fandom works, and if so how would you describe your comment style? I do! I know how much I love it when people do it for me, so I try to leave comments on every chapter of the fics I read (or add tag notes for tumblr art/fic reblogs), and give specifics about what I like about it. Sometimes I just fully liveblog the fic reading experience, which is always fun. I also find it makes you engage and appreciate the work more because you’re taking your time to really think about it, AND it makes an author happy to receive (at least so I hope), which makes me happy.

16. How many works in progress do you currently have? Will you finish them all? Not counting a couple of dump documents of ideas and snippets, technically 3, I guess? One is Forgotten, Not Forgiven (Supergirl) which is my big one and will definitely be finished. The others are less certain – Storybooks and Siren Suits (Call The Midwife) is the one kidfic I have ever written, and is both my longest story at 151,020 (published) words, and also the one I am least likely to finish, because it has been stuck on the same chapter for around 3 years now. The other is Small Problem… (Supergirl) which could be counted as a finished oneshot, but I will probably end up adding further Adventures of Tiny Kara at some point.

17. what’s the longest it’s ever taken you to finish a fandom project?Well, see above re: 3 year stall on new updates. For actually fully finished and published stories I think it was around 6 months.

18. Describe the thing you made most recently in a way that is technically true, but also completely misleading. Link the thing if it’s published! Lena discovers Kara in Lex’s bed, then decides to lure her into friendship under false pretenses. Alex helps her do it. Forgotten, Not Forgiven.

19. Do you ever engage with fanworks for a fandom you’re not in? Which one(s) and how did you get into it? See above re: getting into fanfiction for Six!

20. Recommend a fan work from your fandom to your followers That’s tough because there are so many amazing ones, but I think I will go with I Guess I Live Here Now by @fabulousglitch, because it was both the first fic I really got into for supercorp and also contained everything I wish the characters could have had in canon. I know I am several years late to the party so if you are in the supercorp fandom you have probably already read it, but if you haven’t read it GO READ IT, IT’S SO GOOD!

Suggested tag list, but there are no rules here, follow your heart.

A mutual you have never actually spoken to but think seems cool @nottawriter

The most recent person whose content you engaged with (eg read a fic, reblogged art, whatever form you feel best fits) @sideguitars (and I still owe you a comment on AO3 for that!)

Someone whose content you saw via tags/reblogs and you followed them because of it @sssammich

Someone in your fandom that you think makes cool things @fazedlight

Someone in a different fandom that you think makes cool things @havaamina

Someone you always tag on things like this @cynicalrainbows

Someone you have never tagged before @thatonebirdwrites

Someone you would like to get to know better @thecasualqueer

Someone who makes art you like @pea-green (I don't know if you still do fandom drawing/writing these days, but your commissioned art is still up in my house/in my profile picture and I love it so much)

Someone who writes fics you like @fabulousglitch

#tag game #fanfic writing #fandom creators #I have only been here a couple of months so the number of people I could actually claim to *know* on any level in this fandom is tiny #So if I have tagged you and you have no interest in being tagged in things by random unfamiliar internet strangers #please accept this as the compliment it is intended as and feel free to ignore it!#If you ARE interested in being tagged in things by random internet strangers and decide to play the game #please tag me so I can see your answers!#And if I didn't tag you but you would like to play anyway please feel free to name me as your tagger if you want to :)

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linane-art · 1 year ago

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Public Service Announcement

Yes, I'm back! Missed me? :D

I don't know where to start, really. My last year of travels was both an incredible, life-changing, empowering, unforgettable experience, and the hardest, most challenging thing I have ever done (and probably will ever do) in my life.

In the space of a year I have visited 11 countries: New Zealand, Fiji, Australia, New Caledonia, Japan, South Korea, Singapore, Malaysia, Indonesia, Poland and Greece. Everywhere I went, I have always tried not to be a tourist, but live like a local, stay with the local people and have as many experiences as I could possibly grab a hold of.

I close my eyes and I can re-trace the exact route from Cashmere to the city centre of Christchurch, or I can still taste the Kava drink, or I remember exactly where to put my feet on the ascent to Yunomine Onsen via the Kumano Kodo Pilgrim Trail, or I can tell what Sumatran elephant skin feels like under my fingers, or which of the rice fields around Ubud offer best views without too many tourists.

I got to do everything I ever wanted, fulfilled every dream I ever had and then some, met some amazing people that will stay with me for the rest of my life, and frequently did 8 absolutely impossible things before breakfast. I travelled on local busses, bought my veggies from local bazars, had local supermarket loyalty cards, dealt with visas, made friends with people who didn't speak a word of English... It kinda made me fearless and unstoppable. I've also struggled with depression, seriously questioned my life's choices, missed home insanely, been to paradise and hated it at times, doubted myself, and had a real reality check on what's important to me. And I regret none of it.

How do you pick up the pieces of your life after something like that?

The good news is that my love for this fandom has never left or diminished, and in fact it often provided to be a source of great comfort to me. I wrote stories in my head during my walks, I re-read some excellent old fics, I took Fili and Kili with me to some seriously remote places.

But I think the fandom has changed during my absence. And I have changed too. So as I sit down and re-think how I wanna indulge in my love of FiKi, here's what I've got:

I am seriously attached to three of my Verses (and have been focussing on them for a while), which I'd love to continue with: Silence, Isca and Postcards. There will be more posted, when I'm ready with it. Watch this space. Subscribe, maybe?

I have been writing mainly for myself for a number of years now and I can and I will continue to do so. But it's alwas a delight when someone else comes on a journey with you, so I'll continue posting publically.

GF is my Happy Place and I have missed it hugely, especailly as it hadn't continued to function as I hoped it would during my absence. I want to come back to tending that garden, as it's important to me. And I might take part in some events again, if the gods smile at me again, which will mean any and all verses will be considered.

I can't imagine in what possible universe I would have the time for drawing again. Having said that, I am sitting on some unpublished and unfinished artwork, some of it in collabs, and I know I can be stubborn enough to force their completion. Something to think about.

What else? I guess that's it. How have everyone been? What's new? WHO's new? Did I miss anything important? Come and say hi - I'm always happy to chatter.

#personal

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mytragedyperson · 2 months ago

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Hi! You're the first person that I found that have Number24 as one of their fav anime, so excited! Yes, I love Natsusa, too. See, I never ship anyone poly before (like for me, each character have their own otp) but with Natsusa, I ship him with both Ibuki & Seeichirou (2 ships different flavour).

Also, yes LawLight (my all time fav ship ever). Can I ask, do you ship Mello/Near, too?

For Karma and Kagami, I ship them a bit differently (sorry), Karma/Nagisa and Kagami/Kuro are my otps.

But, I'm so excited to see other shipper with different ships! Do you mind if you have free time, I asked of your fav ships?

Yes, Dazai/Akutagawa is not common but so interesting. Like, I also ship Dazai with Atsushi.

I ship soukoku & shin soukoku, but other ships are also interesting....

For Dazai, I think he is an amazing characters who we love and can ship with mostly anyone, right?

Hi! Thank you so much for your ask. First, please excuse any misspellings or anything, I'm writing this on my phone and, even if I wasn't I low-key suck at typing. Also ran out of tag space so there is that.

Also yes, I love Number24. I love the animation style, I love Natsusa, I love Ibuki and Seiichirou, honestly I love all the characters. But I will say, as much as I love Ibuki x Natsusa (one of my favourite ships) Ibuki and Ethan are basically canonically married in the English dub. Seiichirpu, on the other hand, seems to love Natsusa only. Love both ships. Honestly I probably should've had them both in the same spot on my ship list. But on the day Ibuki was more appealing. I ship both about equally.

I don't really ship Mello/Near but that's more because I don't know them. When u watched Death Note, it was when it was on Netfliz and they took it off before I could finish it, but I do have Crunchyroll now, so I will probably finish it and that answer may change. But, even if I don't like it, I doubt I'd be like 'ew, no.' There's very few ships I'm against. As long as its fiction, we're cool.

As for Karma and Kagami, absolutely. I do like those ships too, they're just not my favourite. But in the case of the Kagami bit I kinda see Kagami/Kuroko/Aomine/possibly Kise as a polycule. (Possibly Kise because I also ship him with Kasamatsu.) But yeah, totally get where you're coming from. I honestly think it depends if you prefer friends to lovers or rivals to lovers and for me I do lean more towards rivals to lovers. Also no need to apologise. Ship whatever you want. We don't have to agree. As long as you're having fun with it, that's what matters. Fandom is supposed to be fun and enjoyable.

Absolutely agree with Dazai being shippable with so many people. Chuuya, kunikida, Sigma, Fyodor I've seen, Atsushi, Aktugawa. I recently saw someone mention Oda/Dazai. He really is just the character you ship with everyone because he can barely go a scene without flirting with someone. I'm sorry, you're dying and are against the clock and you're going to take the time to dance with a stranger you just met? What a power move honestly. Good for him.

Regarding favourite ships, do you mean ones I didn't mention? Or for specific shows? Happy to answer, just without clarification I will probably just repeat what I said before in a slightly different way.

Thank you again for the ask. If you want to send me asks for headcanons, snippets, drabbles or just questions like this, please feel free to ask. Hell I'm bored, ask me whatever as long as its fandom related or fiction related. To see what fandoms I write for, check my pinned post. I will probably add to it in the future as I think of things I liked and would be happy to write for. But it is for practice purposes.

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allylikethecat · 2 years ago

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just wanted to say how much i appreciate the grace with which you address both your writing and its fans

truly blessed to have you in the fandom

Oh my gosh way to make me cry! This might just be one of the nicest messages I've ever received! Thank you so much, I'm so completely and absolutely blown away by the fact that there are even "fans" of my writing (I like to think that it's more like we're friends that haven't formally met yet), and am just so grateful for anyone who takes time out of their day, and out of the hundreds of thousands of fanworks out there decides to click on one of mine, and then some of y'all even like it enough to leave a comment or send me an ask on Tumblr? Absolutely incredible! I know I got a little down on myself earlier this week, and the amount of sheer kindness that I was met with was so amazing and made me really happy to have found a little niche community to be a part of.

Fandom is my happy place away from the stress and pressure of being an adult in the real world, and I'm just so happy, overjoyed really, to have found our little group that enjoys the same kind of content as myself and where we can build one another up. I really enjoy writing, and even if I wasn't sharing it on the internet, would continue to do so because it's something that brings me joy, but the fact that I can also share it with y'all? And then get nice messages like this? I'M the one that's blessed to have found you lovely people. Even if I enjoy writing / reading about angst and suffering, my ultimate goal is to bring joy to people and spread some kindness- there is so much negativity IRL, online and even in these fandom spaces. I might have lost my way a little bit with the self doubt, but negativity is not my vibe and I just want to keep the good ~feels~ going!

At the end of the day, we're all here to have a good time and while opinions and tastes may differ, we are all just looking to share in something we enjoy (fandom!) and I am so happy to be apart of it! So thank YOU for blessing ME by reading my fics and sending this ask- it really made me smile.

❤️Ally

#allylikethecat #ask ally #anon ask #fanfiction #keep it kind #good vibes only #just here to have a good time #and read and write about some fictionalized version of band members #and fictionalized versions of hockey players #and also the already fictionalized dudes from top gun because wow i love those movies #my parents raised me that if you don't have something nice to say don't say it at all #and that you don't know someone elses situation and what goes on behind closed doors #so everyone should be treated with respect and dignity #even if yall have differing opinions #thats something i try to live by #i hope thats something i am able to convey to anyone reading my fic #not gonna lie when i see the same user names leaving kudos or commenting or liking or reblogging my posts #in my head we're friends #even if we've never spoken

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darlingsfandom · 4 months ago

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Of course you are one of my favorites, never doubt that😌

I actually got to know Pedro Pascal's work through you, i mean i knew who he was but I never took the time to look at his work until some gifs here caught my eye, i'm watching right now good omens tried to make a list of what catches my attention but i'm lazy and life sometimes doesn't leave me free time but i do what can to give myself some space, already knew Cillian Murphy before I met you and your blog, but I didn't know about breakfast on pluto for some strange reason in my country it is not available so used a VPN to watch it, it is great and i find Kitten's role absolutely interesting, but the truth is that one of my favorite roles of Cillian will always be Tommy, there is something about him that makes me feel so terribly attracted): i feel a bit like a fake fan because the role of Tommy is very known, but really that's my man 😮‍💨my mum even gave me a blanket of his. 😂😂 but...must admit that as much as i see Pedro don't find him all that attractive, although he's an amazing guy, i love his interviews, he's always entertaining, i tried to watch Stranger Things but feel like i'm not much of a fan of that type of series.

As for fandoms, i love, love Cillian's community he's an amazing actor, but i think people just can't stand it when you don't choose their favorite,probably, on the other hand, the role of Johnathan it's not much to my liking😅i've tried to read a lot of fics about him but he just doesn't resonate with me,but if i had to choose another Cillian character I would choose Neil🥹love him i just love him 🥹🥹💗💗 don't feel bad about it, you have your choices as far as favorites and what others say doesn't matter, if you feel like you don't fit in the fandom let's get started a new one you and me!!!🙂‍↕️

Surely you have more recommendations, so if you don't mind you could leave them here.🥺🙏🏻

Menstruation is ALWAYS a pain, I want you to know that I couldn't admire you more, i'm sorry you're going through this, imagine it must be difficult, you're doing amazing, receive all my admiration, and remember that you're not alone!!!🫂🫶🏻

You deserve wonderful things too, I hope you know that!!!😘

Ber💌

I never thought I’d be someone’s favorite 🥺🥺🥺

Pedro Pascal is amazing!! It’s okay you don’t find him attractive , more for me!! He’s very talented and just watching his interviews he’s a goofball. He’s also older than me and most of the actors or actresses I enjoy are at least 15 years older than me👀👀👀

Stranger things is one of those shows that you either really love or you couldn’t care less. Good omens!! I’m not sure how far you are with it but it broke my heart! I understand that not always having free time but part of my problem is that I do have free time but by the time I get home from work I’m mentally exhausted! Which is why I binge watch tv or movies!

Cillian is … I could go on and on about how much I love him! He’s just so relatable. The man goes to work, goes home, eats his cheese and sleeps! Plus he adores his wife! You’re not a fake fan! Tommy is his most popular character because most people know him from Peaky Blinders and there’s nothing wrong with Tommy being anyone’s favorite! I really love kitten because not only does she represent an LGBTQ+ character but she shows the struggle perfectly! Plus she’s cute!

I can give any recommendations! It just depends on what you like and if your country has the show or movie! OH MY GOD NO WAIT! Are you the one who sent the kitten request a few months ago about adopting a pet with kitten ?!? I still have that in my inbox ):

I’ve been thinking of what I can do to help it. I have new birth control which could have also been playing a part in all of my moodiness. You admire me?? You’re going to make me cry ! In a good way 💕

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writer-in-theory · 3 years ago

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the very first night — spencer reid

summary: spencer and reader were best friends in college and had a sweet (but awkward) first time together. years later, they’re both much more experienced. request?: no pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader category: smut with a hint of angst content warnings: 18+ ONLY, blindfolds, hotel sex, virgin!spencer, virgin!reader, oral sex (male receiving), a hint of sub!spencer, praise kink, spencer being premature, breakups word count: 5.8k a/n: okay, fair warning skip this a/n if you don't like sappy emotional shit. but here we are, officially at the very end of 'reid from the vault' and thus, putting a close to my red project. this was the first thing i really worked on in this fandom, and it's the thing that allowed me to meet so many of my wonderful friends here. i never really finish fic projects. i get bored, i lose motivation, i assume people hate it and never go back to finish. so to finish this thing, this thing that is 27 oneshots long, well, i'm amazed and so so proud. it sounds silly, but i'm sitting here absolutely crying because i never expected to finish something of this calibre and i never expected to have such a positive and wonderful response to it. this was the collection that made me want to stay writing in this fandom. i don't usually stay in fandoms this long, but i think it's safe to say it's because of this. so thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sticking around through all of this.

masterlist reid from the vault masterlist

Love was never meant to be easy.

Or at least, that’s what your grandmother had always told you. She’d pull you up on her lap where you’d trace over the soft wrinkled skin and protruding veins of her hands as she’d tell you just that. Love was work, and it was tough.

It wasn’t like that with Spencer. From the first moment you saw him, you knew he was different. Your professor had announced at the beginning of the semester that he had a TA that year, a Ph.D. candidate who had been conducting research with the same professor. TA Spencer Reid was unassuming at first—he looked like nearly every other engineering student you’d met, with the button-up shirt a little too big for him and thick glasses that seemed to complement his face despite being several years out of style—but then he spoke.

His gentle introduction complete with a tiny little wave of his hand confirmed it—you needed to know this man. It started with office hours visits, where you’d purposefully leave a couple of homework problems blank in the hopes he would explain them to you. Each time you’d greet him with a bright smile, you’d try to ask him questions to fill in the empty space while he looked over your work. And each time, he’d avert his gaze with a bashful smile, growing more confident with every comment.

The first time you went on a date, it felt like you were flying. Of course, Spencer had worried about being seen with one of his students so you got coffee together, each of you bringing along your books to feign a study date. You both left the books open and abandoned on the table while you cradled your coffee, eyes shining as you learned more about the person in front of you.

Love was easy with Spencer. It was easy on every date you went on, and it was even easy to introduce your friend group to your new ‘friend’. He’d joined the group readily, finding his own compatible friends within the large group. No one ever knew you were dating, but that was okay because it was a love meant just for you and him.

“I have a surprise for you,” Spencer told you on the night of your anniversary.

“A surprise? Spencer, you didn’t have to do anything,” you told him, already feeling your cheeks heating up at the thought of him going out of his way for you today. “I’m happy spending the night with you.”

“We will, I promise, just trust me,” Spencer reassured you, and that was enough. Of course, you trusted him, how could you not after one of the best years of your life? So you let him guide you over to the car that was technically yours—you laughed as he opened up the passenger door for you and insisted you still didn’t need to know where you were going.

“How do you feel about blindfolds?” he asked then, holding up a strip of soft, silky black material.

“Blindfolds are fun,” you answered, voice softer and higher in pitch than normal. You weren’t sure Spencer couldn’t hear your heart racing away in your chest, weren’t sure the thoughts spinning in your head weren’t obvious to him.

Spencer’s hands were gentle. He always treated you with the utmost care, like one wrong touch might shatter you completely. It was no different now as he reached over to tie the material over your eyes, each brush of his fingers on your skin eliciting a gasp. Every touch was heightened now that the world was concealed from you. Spencer’s hand lingered against your face and you leaned into the touch, nearly breathless from the sparks sent dancing across your skin.

“I love you,” you told him, voice barely over a whisper as though anything louder might shatter the moment.

“I love you too.” Spencer always sounded surprised whenever he said it, as though even a year later he couldn’t quite believe you’d stuck around. You would wash away that disbelief someday—there would be a time when you said you loved him and he’d already know, there was simply no other option you’d accept.

As he led you out of the car and down hallways, past a once-closed door, you could feel the nervousness radiating from him. It grew worse the closer you got to your destination until finally, Spencer slipped off your blindfold with a shaky exhalation.

“A hotel room?” you asked, turning to face Spencer where he was standing just behind you, leaning against the door.

“We both have roommates,” was all Spencer explained, cheeks flooding red and kneading his hands together in front of him.

“Oh,” you said simply, studying his practically terrified expression and trying to figure out what it all meant. Then when it all hit you, your own eyes widened and you repeated, “Oh.”

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. We can find a movie and have dinner,” Spencer hurried out.

That was what you’d originally thought the night would consist of—watching a movie in a language you didn’t know while Spencer whispered translations into your ear, innocently unaware of what it did to you. But this, this.

“I want to do everything with you,” you reassured him, stepping closer until your body was inches from his, hands reaching out to unclasp his and rest them against your waist. “Is this okay?”

Spencer nodded, eyes beginning to drift down but snapping right back up to meet your gaze, a sheepish expression taking over his face.

“You can look,” you giggled, your body alight with electric energy as you watched his hazel eyes trail downward. It was when he wasn’t looking that you captured his lips in a kiss, smiling against him when Spencer’s hands squeezed around your waist.

Some cultures believed soulmates were two halves of the same whole, meant to complete each other. It certainly felt like it now, Spencer perfectly filling in the pieces you hadn’t realized were missing. It was a dance that neither of you knew beforehand but one you suddenly completed the steps to now. Spencer’s hands slipped under your shirt and yours moved to the end of his, pulling it up and off of him.

Spencer was slower, his hands slowly trailing up your body and bringing your shirt with them. By the time he broke the kiss to pull the fabric off of your body, you were nearly breathless from his touch. It was when you pressed yourself against him, bare skin on bare skin, that Spencer’s shoulders tensed. His hands shook against you, his lower lip caught between his teeth harshly.

“Is everything okay?” you asked, immediately pulling back to give him space. Even more confusingly, his hands gripped a little tighter around you so you couldn’t create more distance between the two of you. “Spencer?”

“I want this to be perfect for you,” he admitted, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Hey, I don’t know what I’m doing either,” you returned in a soft voice, relief flooding through your system now that you knew you hadn’t done anything wrong. “I don’t need perfect, I just need you. And if you’re too nervous, we can stop whenever you want.”

“I don’t want to stop,” he continued, “I just can’t get out of my head.”

“Do you trust me?”

The way Spencer’s expression immediately melted into pure softness almost ruined you. “Of course, I do.”

It didn’t take long to find what you were looking for, scooping up the fabric from the floor and holding it up for Spencer to see with a little smirk. “Thoughts?”

“You want to blindfold me?”

“To get you out of your head,” you explained, “you won’t have to think about anything about how good it all feels. Okay?”

“Okay,” Spencer agreed, the sweet smile seeming far too out of place as you tied the blindfold around his head, checking to make sure none of his gorgeous curls got caught up in the knot.

“Now I’m in charge, Sweet Pea,” you teased, grinning at the way Spencer shivered against you. You brushed your fingers across his cheek with a feather-like touch, proud of the way he gasped from the sensation. It was almost easier like this for you too, able to figure out what touches brought Spencer the most pleasure without any pressure of him seeing you.

You kissed him gently before taking both hands, guiding him to the bed and helping him lay out on it. “Still okay?” you checked, unhooking your bra and tossing it across the room.

“Yes,” Spencer breathed, “God, yes.”

“I like you like this, desperate to know what I’ll do next,” you teased, hands running down his chest and abdomen until reaching their final destination at his pants, unclasping them easily. “Lift up, pretty boy,” you told him, patting his outer thigh until he dutifully lifted his waist so you could slip off the rest of his clothes.

“I’m not desperate,” Spencer half-heartedly countered, cheeks a beautiful shade of pink.

“You will be.”

Your thighs clenched together as Spencer groaned at your words, head tilting back to expose the gorgeous skin of his neck. “I like you like this too,” he gasped out as you leaned over him to kiss his bared neck, nipping at the skin there in hopes there’d be a mark to show for it later.

With every passing second, Spencer’s confidence grew. His hands reached up without yours to guide them, starting at your waist but trailing up until he was cupping your breasts. You couldn’t help the moan that slipped from you as Spencer softly pinched your nipples—the arms that held you up shaking as he wrapped his large hands around your breasts and squeezed, practically kneading them.

“Is this okay?” he asked as your head dropped so your forehead was against his chest, your own chest moving just out of his reached.

“It’s perfect,” you breathed, “You’re so good to me, Sweet Pea.”

As if Spencer wasn’t already intoxicating, his hips bucked against you at your words. You couldn’t help but raise a brow, taking in how gorgeous your gorgeous boy looked underneath you. His cheeks were completely flushed by now, lips slightly parted from his slightly heavier breathing. His hands were rubbing up and down your outer thighs—though when you spread them wider from where you straddled his waist those hands soon ran along your inner thighs, spreading electricity across your skin.

You watched the way Spencer’s expression twisted into confusion as you moved, tucking between his legs. You made sure to keep your eyes on him as you wrapped your hand around the base of his cock and took the tip into your mouth. His entire body tightened like on a coil, fingers gripping tightly into the sheets. He gasped your name as you licked up his length before taking him a little further. You’d never done this before and even now your heart raced at the thought of finally having Spencer like this. Both of you were taking it slowly, you giving yourself time to experiment to find out what you could do and what made Spencer groan with pleasure. You’d never expected a moment like this to feel so purely sweet, the two of you learning about each other and becoming closer than you’d ever thought possible.

“Y/N, please,” Spencer moaned, thighs practically quivering on either side of you, “please, please, I—” It was all the warning you needed to pull back with a gentle ‘pop’, catching your breath as Spencer’s back arched and he came with another groan of your name that made you wonder how you could ever hear your name another way again. How sinful it sounded on his lips, filling the hotel room and making it completely certain that in the same way he was yours, you were his.

You moved quickly then, laying down beside him and hooking one leg over his. “Close your eyes,” you whispered, waiting a moment for him to comply before you slipped the blindfold off of his face.

“I’m sorry,” were the first words out of Spencer’s mouth, head turning so he could look at you with practically watering eyes.

“Hey, hey, hey, why’re you sorry, pretty boy?” you asked, face twisting with concern as you watched him struggle not to fall apart here and now. Was something wrong? Had you done something he hadn’t liked? Even worse, were you not at all what he was expecting?

“You didn’t get to, I didn’t,” Spencer tried, and though you were beginning to understand you would allow him to gather his thoughts. “I was too fast.”

“Spencer,” you cooed, smiling softly at the pure kindness from your boyfriend. Of course he would care that you hadn’t gotten off. You’d heard so many horror stories from your friends, heard them talking about slipping into the bathroom to finish the job because their partners hadn’t care enough to, but here Spencer was, practically in tears because you hadn’t gotten there. “It’s okay, I promise.”

“It’s not,” he whined, “we didn’t even have sex.”

“We will,” you reassured him, pulling Spencer impossibly closer to you and brushing your hands through his hair softly. “We have all night, right?”

You laughed as he nodded into your chest, his hands moving to wrap around you tightly. “So for now I say we order dinner from that little Chinese place you love so much, and I’ll pick the movie, and we can go again later.”

“You’re really not mad our first time wasn’t perfect?”

“Spencer, I told you it doesn’t have to be perfect as long as I’m with you, and I meant it,” you told him, pressing your hands to either side of his face so you could make sure he looked at you. “I love you so much, this was perfect for us.”

“I love you too,” Spencer returned, leaning forward to press a sweet kiss to your lips. The two of you laid in bed for awhile longer, wrapped up in one another.

“I liked the blindfold thing,” Spencer admitted softly a few minutes later.

“I did too,” you told him, “we’ll have to try that again sometime.”

The rest of the night was absolutely magical. You would get your perfect moment that night, the moment when you were with Spencer and realized this was the man you wanted to experience the world with.

Loving Spencer had been easy, though maybe that was where it all went wrong. The first fight you had, the week after graduating, everything shattered into irreparable pieces.

Your friends had consoled you all night, even when they didn’t know what you were devastated about. Maybe they did know but hadn’t wanted to admit it to you, or maybe you and Spencer truly had hidden your relationship that well.

Regardless, you and Spencer were over and you have absolutely nothing to show for the year you’d spent with him.

So you moved on, the best you could. You took a job offer in Chicago that just a week before you’d been intent on turning down. Within the next month, you were leaving behind Los Angeles and all of the memories it had brought you. It had been hard at first but with each passing day, you went a little longer without thinking of him.

And soon, ten years had passed and you hadn’t thought of him once.

That is until you read the letter addressed to you from Los Angeles, from one of your friends you hadn’t really spoken too much since college.

A friendship reunion in LA, ten years after splitting up. All six of you had scattered around the country and though you tried to keep in touch with some of them it grew too hard as your lives diverged from each other. It seemed fun, getting to see all of the people you used to spend every day with. Becca had kids now, you knew that. You were fairly certain Trevor was engaged to the guy who did all the perfume commercials, though you didn’t know for sure.

The realization came only on the flight to LA. You wanted to cancel, panic beginning to fill your lungs at the thought of who else they’d invited. Would Spencer even show up, knowing this had been your friend group first? Would he even remember you all, after ditching you for some fancy FBI job?

“When were you going to tell me you’re going to Quantico?”

“Spencer, were you ever going to tell me, or were you just going to disappear one morning?”

“Fuck you, Spencer Reid.”

The plane was already in the air. Short of a freak accident, there was no escaping landing in LA. You could call your friends and beg Trevor to come up with some lie for why you hadn’t made it after all. You could call Spencer, assuming the number still worked, and ask if he was coming. You could tell no one. You could step off the plane and buy the next ticket out of LA, no matter where it went.

Would you really miss seeing all your old friends because of the chance he’d be there? What were the odds anyway? Spencer had all but said you weren’t good enough for him to stay, that this FBI job was better than anything he’d ever been a part of. There was no way he’d be there tonight.

So when the plane landed, you grabbed your bag and headed to your hotel room to unpack. And when it was time for dinner, you pulled on your best outfit and hurried out of the room before you could change your mind.

“Y/N!” your friends cheered as you arrived at the restaurant. As you settled back into conversation with them, it was almost like no time had passed at all. Sure all of you looked ten years older, more sure of your place in the world, but it was still the rag-tag group of people you’d pulled all-nighters to study and got into mischief with all through university.

“Oh my God, hi!” you returned, wondering how long it had been since you’d walked into a room to so much joy. It was easy to fall back into place with them—each of you catching the group up on everything you’d missed over the past decade.

Though everyone talked like nothing was missing, you couldn’t help but marvel at how strange it was. These were the people you’d once spent all of your time with. Now, though you recognized bits of them even still, they were practically strangers after so many years apart. You’d kept up in social media posts and the occasional postcard when someone traveled, but otherwise, the only thing left linking you to each other were the memories from a lifetime ago.

“Spencer, you made it!”

The words sent a dagger through your chest; the blade dangerously close to piercing the heart you’d spent months hand-stitching back together. Spencer was here. There was a commotion behind you as everyone gave him an equally bright welcome as you, though all you could do was stand with your back to it all. You gripped your drink tightly, eyes squeezing shut as if that would somehow make him disappear.

He didn’t disappear.

“Y/N?”

Did you dare open your eyes? You knew what you’d find in front of you, how could you not? Because while you’d been hurt, you spent the last ten years terrified of seeing a news alert that an FBI agent with beautiful curls and an even more beautiful mind had been attacked. You looked for news updates on the BAU, trying to find snippets of quotes from the man, and were unable to look away from the TV when his face appeared in front of journalists. You got to see how he grew without you, and you got to watch as he accomplished all of his dreams with the team he’d given you up for.

“You know I’m still here even if you can’t see me,” Spencer tried again and you could practically feel the nervousness in his voice. Though your eyes were closed you knew he would be holding onto the glass someone had inevitably handed him, that he would be rocking on his feet in an attempt to make it through this conversation.

Admittedly, you hadn’t thought he’d make it this long. The Spencer you had known ten years ago would have walked away dejectedly by now, or maybe wouldn’t have even walked up to you in the first place. And maybe that was what prompted you to finally open your eyes—the morbid curiosity to see just who the person you had loved had turned into.

“I’m surprised you showed up,” you told him, voice stronger than you’d ever expected it to be.

“I am, too,” Spencer answered, shrugging his shoulders. A small smile twitched at your lips at his posture—turns out you still knew him well, even ten years later.

“I should get going,” you blurted out to break the uncomfortable silence, shoulders automatically lifting with the new tension injected there, “it’s been a long night.”

“The party started an hour ago.” He wouldn’t give you an out, would he?

“Long flight,” you tried again, voice clipping the words as tightly as possible.

“I just got here.”

“I know.” The words were harsh, tossed in Spencer’s face with enough force to make his head reel back. His eyes widened, eyebrows lifting to create that innocently surprised expression you still knew well. “What do you want me to say, Spencer? I can’t pretend we’re best friends.”

“We used to be,” Spencer said, “Why can’t we be that again?”

“I wish we could!” you yelled, causing a few people to turn their heads toward you. Immediately upon assessing the scene, they turned back to their groups in low whispers, likely having gossiped to each other about this exact reunion. “I wish we could go back in time and be that, Spencer, but we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because you left me!” The words scratched their way out of your throat, carving out the little pieces of hurt you’d long since buried deep within yourself. Tears appeared in your eyes and you wanted to scream at Spencer for putting your makeup in jeopardy too, for being the cause of too many of your tears. “You left me behind.”

“I couldn’t say no to Gideon, it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,” Spencer explained as if you couldn’t have possibly understood. It made your fingers curl tightly into your palms, nails taking out your frustration into the sensitive skin there. “I couldn’t stay in California.”

“I wasn’t asking you to stay in California, Spencer,” you snapped then, rolling your eyes as he proved what you’d always thought—that night, he hadn’t once truly thought about you. “I was asking you to take me with you. You should’ve asked me.”

“Then you would’ve gone,” Spencer answered, frustration of his own lacing through each of his words.

“Would that really have been so horrible? We could’ve been happy.”

“You would’ve been content at best.” The words swirled around in your brain, but no matter how many passes they took nothing made sense. Spencer seemed to notice this because he continued, allowing his voice to soften. “Your dream job was in Chicago. I knew if I asked you to come to Virginia with me, you would’ve left behind everything you’d been working for. I love you too much for you to settle for anything less than your dreams.”

It was too much. All this time you’d allowed yourself to think Spencer Reid was an inconsiderate bastard who left you behind to chase after his own goals. You’d told yourself that he’d never cared for you, that you accomplished something for him that you’d never quite know, that he’d discarded you like a used toy when he was done.

Instead, you saw yourself in his eyes now. In those hazel hues, you saw all of the longing and hurt you’d suffered through. You wondered who had been there to comfort him after the breakup when all of your friends had been holding onto you. You wondered if he stayed up late at night for months too, unable to sleep without the feeling of someone there next to him.

“You left for me,” you clarified, as though you needed to wrap your lips around the words yourself to truly understand the weight of them. “You self-sacrificing bastard.”

The half-hearted insult pulled a laugh out of Spencer, causing him to tilt his head back a little and smile with the brightness of all the mornings you’d missed with him. It was the same smile you’d known so long ago, now bordered by laugh lines and the weight of a decade of service in the FBI.

“Does that mean the self-sacrificing bastard is forgiven?”

Did it? You took the time to glance around the room, looking over all of the faces who’d meant more to you than you’d ever expected. It was far too easy to remember the way each of them had cried with you that night, wincing at your wailing and promising you that things would be okay eventually.

The night Tyler asked if anything had ever happened between you and Spencer was impossible to forget, marked by gently spoken lies and Tyler telling you he knew what he felt like to lose a friend suddenly. He knew what you were going through, supposedly, but how could he? How could he know the weight of it when no one even knew what you’d lost?

“No,” you decided carefully, trying not to change your mind at the way Spencer’s expression crumpled, “I’m sorry, I really have to go now.”

This time, Spencer didn’t stop you just as you hadn’t stopped him ten years ago. Could he now finally understand even an ounce of what you’d felt—all of the betrayal, the hurt, the wondering if there was ever anything you could have done to make him stay? Did you even want him to understand that pain?

The party continued in the same way life had after you’d broken up. Spencer kept close to the few people he’d spoken to most in school while you stuck to your own little group within the group. If anyone was curious about what had happened between you two—past or present—no one vocalized it. Instead, they allowed you to have fun talking to everyone and never once said anything when you turned your head to find Spencer in the room.

And that was the issue, wasn’t it? You’d finally gotten to say your piece, gotten to throw it in his face how badly he’d ruined everything, but still, you were drawn to him. There was something about Spencer that could not be forgotten quite so easily.

So as the night began to draw to a close, with the help of a glass of wine or two, you found yourself making your way across the room to him. It wasn’t even that you’d made a conscious effort of it, but within minutes your conversation had migrated to just steps from where he was standing. From where you were, you could see the flash of darkened pink of a scar in the initial years of healing against the pale skin of his neck. It was deeper than one would want a mark on anyone’s neck to be, marring the perfectly untouched skin of the Ph.D. student you’d left behind.

It was staring at that scar that you realized it—the very thing that made you rush to the end of your conversation and hurtle your body toward Spencer with such force even he looked shocked.

“I don’t forgive the boy who left me behind,” you blurted out, body shaking as it realized that you stood there with no idea of what to say.

“I understand, Y/N, you don’t have to keep saying it.”

“I don’t forgive that person, but you’re not that person anymore.”

“Y/N?” Was that hope that dared flash across his brilliant eyes?

“It’s been ten years, and I don’t know about you but I’ve been through a lot. I hardly recognize the person I was back at CalTech,” you explained.

“It feels like I’m an entirely different person sometimes,” Spencer admitted, only further proving your point. It was then, and only then, a soft smile pulled on your lips.

“Exactly,” you said, “we’re two different people. Maybe we don’t try to be who we were before, maybe we learn about who we are now.”

“In that case, hi, I’m Spencer Reid,” the man in front of you spoke and for the first time all night, there was no weight to his words, just that brilliant smile you’d always known.

“I’m Y/N,” you introduced back, grinning as he shook your hand.

Though you tried your best to talk to everyone, you found yourself coming right back to Spencer all night. You talked about anything and everything, from all the moments that made Spencer’s team a family to all the times you’d kicked ass at work. You updated him on your family and though he never once mentioned his you knew, how could you not?

And by the end of the night, you found your heart was aching at the thought of him leaving. Everyone was making their way through the parking lot to their individual rented cars, about to go to their separate hotel rooms and try to move on from this ten-year reunion. You were sure you wouldn’t see most of these people until another decade had passed, but you knew there was no way you could allow the same to happen to you and Spencer.

“Spencer, wait,” you called out when he was about to walk away from you, “you remember that night in the hotel?”

“I have an eidetic memory,” Spencer pointed out.

“I know, but do you remember?”

“How could I forget?”

Standing there in a dark parking lot in California with the man you never expected to see again, you knew one thing all too well.

“How do you feel about sequels?”

The question confused him at first. You could see it in the way his eyebrows slid together and his lips pursed just a little more in his effort to figure it out without admitting his lack of information. You also saw the exact moment it clicked, how his cheeks flushed a brilliant red and his eyes widened as he looked to you to find what you were sure to be an identical expression.

“Sometimes sequels are better than the first,” Spencer told you, and that was all you’d needed to hear before grabbing his hand and guiding him to your car. This time it was your turn to slip into the driver’s seat and lead him to an unknown destination.

It was just a hotel room, one out of countless amounts in all of California, but to you it was everything. Though it wasn’t the same, to you now it felt like the first time you’d been in your own hotel room, pressed against the first man you ever loved and having so much hope for the future. That version of you was long gone as was that man you loved, but standing here with Spencer you wanted to believe in that same hope.

It was Spencer who made the first move, rushing to you and pressing his lips insistently to yours, one hand cradling the side of your face. This was a dance you’d practiced many times since you’d last gone through these steps with him, one you’d perfected since a decade ago. It seemed he had too, shedding away the nerves to instead reveal pure lust. Your hands tangled in his hair, pressing closer to him until the two of you were falling into the bed together.

Experienced hands unclothed each other and though you both had changed after a decade you still knew the right movements. Your lips pressed to his neck, taking care to avoid the raised scar you would ask about later. You and Spencer moved together like no time had been spent apart, hands exploring and relearning one another.

The two of you laid together after, chests rising and falling as you caught your breaths and legs entwined so well you weren’t sure where you stopped and he began.

“I missed you,” Spencer admitted then, pulling you closer as he undoubtedly conjured up images of the same fight now playing in your head. “I kept thinking I’d forget you eventually. The odds of your first relationship being with the perfect person are almost impossible, I never thought...”

“I never thought I’d forgive you,” you admitted. He’d told you his most closely-guarded thoughts, it was only right that you shared your own. “I didn’t even want to show up tonight, in case you’d be there. I think I knew deep down that if I saw you, I’d remember how perfect we are together.”

“You know, I was thinking about retiring by the end of this year.”

“Really?” Shock jumpstarted your heart, pressing your elbow into the mattress so you could lift your head up on your hand.

“I’ve loved being in the FBI, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that my time there was over. Almost everyone from my original team is gone, it hasn’t felt the same in awhile,” Spencer explained. You searched his expression then, desperate to find any hint of a joke there. When none of was found, the beginnings of a hope you hadn’t felt since that very first night with Spencer began to take root in your chest.

“What are you saying?” you asked, not wanting to fall too soon too fast.

“I’m saying I wouldn’t mind living in Chicago, if I was wanted there.”

And God, did it feel like too much and not enough all at once. Suddenly, the happy ending that girl in the hotel on that night ten years prior had always imagined for herself was in reach. There’d be a lot of work to get there still, so much to consider and so much to learn about the person laying beside you.

And yet, all at once you knew that you were willing to try.

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dayseternal-blog · 3 years ago

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In Memory, Katarinahime. Part 6.

I've collected our conversations. Why couldn't I remember them? Let me in.

2019.8.12 on "White Lilies" Chapter 3:

Kat - "Your 'please don’t kill me if you don’t like it' killed me! I feel the same way. You work so hard on something and then people are so flippant about it. 😭😭 But it was so good. You have such a good way of weaving around real feelings and situations. I love it!"

Me - "yeah, posting a new chapter is like standing in front of a dark tunnel, like you don't know what might come out of it. It could kill you. Or something... :( haha to me you are an absolute master at real feelings and situations! Thank you for the encouragement >< it means a lot coming from you!"

Katarina had never commented on my fics before. I knew that she doesn't really comment. She hardly replies to comments on her own fics unless there's a question.

This is the most memorable for me. I never forgot this. I never forgot how she understood the stress I expressed in the author notes and how she went out of her comfort zone to tell me that she relates.

2019.10.29 on "White Lilies" Chapter 4:

Kat - "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! They’re finally going to talk! And Naruto understands his own feelings! Omg this is so amazing!"

Me - "haha that scream is my reaction to any of your stories x))) thank you for the support <33333"

This was the second and last time she commented on one of my fics. I wondered if she had ever read any of my other fics. I only found out, after she passed, that "Nightdreams" was in her top five. I didn't know that. I wonder if she knows that I have been modeling my text structure off of her stories since Nightdreams.

2020.1.20 on Discord

"It's so funny, I never think of myself as writing angst and then people bring it up and I'm like... holy shit I wrote a lot of angst"

-"@ katarinahime I think of you as THE naruhina angst writer actually. If anyone asked, I would just point them to your profile"

"🙈🙈🙈 OMG lol. LMAO @ DAYS8 you're one to talk your white lilies used to be killer before your last update. My heart"

hmm I can't type the rest of the convo. I think I'll cry. But I pointed out to her why CSE is worse in terms of angst. She accepts that, and that she knew the ending would be happy, so she forgets how readers must feel.

That was our first convo within the same space, at the same time. I'm glad I could express a fraction of my admiration.

2020.2.18 on Discord

-"HOW WAS YOUR DAY IN HAWAII NEI?"

"Omg it was amazing"

-"yayy!!!!!! what did you do?"

"I went to the wedding rehearsal at the place they filmed lost and then went to bellows Air Force base beach and then I went to dinner and ice cream with friends. I love being here 💖💖"

-"Bellows is my favorite beach on the east side!!! And Kualoa Ranch is so beautiful! My husband's cousin got married there! I'm so glad you had a good day!"

"Yeah bellows looked like a movie set tbh. So beautiful"

I could've met her maybe. Had I tried. Also, I learned she loved coffee. Was addicted to coffee. She wanted to have Kona coffee here. I forgot to ask if she did.

2020.5.28 on Discord

"I wish my hair could be that long 😭"

-"why does your hair stop growing?? that..what????"

"Idk!! I wish I knew"

That was the day I learned her hair doesn't grow much past her shoulders. Apparently hair can genetically reach the end of its growth cycle. Like trees or flowers.

"I think because of the nature of our relationships with other members of fandoms and writers it's a bit harder to process it. Because there are genuine emotions and love and missing of a person, but since there was never a real-life presence the absence is harder to identify. For me it's almost like I'm expecting to see an update or a post after a long silence. It's a challenge to wrap my head around 'gone'." - @szajnie

"I'd possibly shifted backwards into denial, but not a shock kind. Like, she's still here, even if I can't talk to her."

"I've reread quite a few of her chapters and posts, and of course, our convos and comments, and just... it's so hard to reconcile. Her writing has so much of her voice in it, and when someone said that she'll live on in her art, they weren't kidding. She sounds so alive."

"Yeah, I wonder if that's why I'm at where I'm at. Like, there's still something of her we can access at any point. But I guess, the tragic rationale too is... It's all a time capsule. I just feel like she IS here."

"This is honestly the feeling I've been struggling with all week, here I am again, like this need to unleash all of this confusion and struggle I'm having with her passing. I guess I've really been trying to grasp at some kind of clarity."

"Katarina, I swear that I’ll never forget you, and I’m positive that I’m not the only one. As long as we live, you’ll live as well." - @angi1993

I'm still here.

They say earthquakes in Alaska are the closest tsunami danger for Hawaii.

Interesting.

I look out across an ocean of distance

And I wish you were here.

I wish you were there.

I wish I were waiting for you, waiting as I did before, for you to come collect the pieces of me, the pieces of you, waiting for you to give the pieces of you to me.

One day, I'll see you, I'll recognize you, and you'll recognize me.

The pieces we've traded will be perfect.

But I'll be shy. Or maybe I'll cry.

My memory is poor, I'm sorry. I didn't meet you then, I'm sorry. I didn't reach out enough, I'm sorry.

I just wish I had done a little more, it's okay for me to feel like this, there's nothing else to it.

Are you really still alive in us? Are you really still alive here?

I'm talking to text,

I wonder if I'm comforted.

#katarinahime #rest in love

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greenmegsnoham · 3 years ago

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✨💕2022 Goals!!💕✨

Thank you @pennygalleon @corvuscrowned and @mystickitten42 for the tag! 😘

✨Reflection✨

Wow. What a year 2021 has been....insane.

I've appreciated being a part of this fandom more than you all could ever know.

I used to live where I could live my HP dreams in Orlando, FL, and although I don't regret moving back up north, I was in desperate need to re-connect with the stories I genuinely thank for the person I became. (but fuck jkr tho)

I started reading fic in September and writing in October of 2020, pushed out nearly 400k, birthed a podcast project with my best friend, and have worked tirelessly to build a community of love and acceptance in fandom that appeared severely lacking.

I've met so many amazing people and the love I feel here is just....ugh. I thank the Drarry community for being my gateway drug to far more content than I could even attempt to consume or create.

We all create and consume for our own reasons, and a huge part for me was to find my bliss in dark times, help myself through my depression and isolation. I've never felt so free and unapologetically me, and that wouldn't have been possible without all the beautiful members of fandom.

Thank you! 💕

✨Okay, yes. Goals.✨

💕No Fests, Except...

Being a part of various fests in this pat year has helped me grow as a writer, exposing myself to content and ships I never would have considered writing/reading and it's been an absolute joy. I'm so proud of everything I made. Especially [redacted] for HD Erised. I poured my entire soul into that work and it brought me just as much joy as exhaustion.

So! As much as I loved everything I made, I also need to acknowledge the stress that deadlines put on me and my personal wellness. Writing is something I am passionate about and my husband has always said "you're one of the few people I know that can make a hobby into a job."

He's right.

Fests = me putting my time and energy into something at the detriment of other wonderful experiences in life I've been missing because I "had to get it done".

IF I do any fests in 2022, it will be SELF-PROMPT and submitted if I have completed something appropriate within the timeframe.

Bottom line: Yes there are a million amazing fests happening all year long. It's so damn wonderful, but I have to know my limits and I need to get back and write for me at my own pace.

BUT! I have every intention of investing in the hp events/fest community regardless with events like @hpshipuary and @hpcestfest because, well. I want to! And, if I don't create anything for them, WHO CARES?! They are there for those who do!!

💕Which leads into...Fandom Advocacy...

Call me Helga Hufflepuff because I want everyone in fandom to feel seen, accepted, and loved and not judged base on what they consume or create.

I've been there for myself and I NEVER want anyone to feel like they don't 'fit' somewhere or that what they enjoy is wrong. You do not exist for someone else's approval. Find YOUR bliss and celebrate it. Don't give anyone the power to take what you love away from you, especially no-names on the internet. Like, bye.

If you want/need a space, @careofmagicalshippers has the space for you, growing into the space we all need and deserve: Join the Magical Shippers discord

💕Writing: for me, including original fiction

I had no idea I could love something as much as I love writing. I've always been a creative, with an Illustration BFA degree, but finding this however late in life has been one of the best things that has happened to me.

I have so many ideas for stories I haven't had the time to pursue (thank you fests 🤣) and WIPs that need love. I'm writing what I love on my terms and when I'm given that opportunity I know I'm at my best.

And as mentioned above, I often make hobbies into a job BUT I could see myself MAKING it a job. I want to keep writing and of course I will continue writing fanfiction. But the idea of becoming a published author for something entirely my own is so magical in itself. So, who knows!!!

💕Continue creating @careofmagicalshippers and @snapechatpodcast - with no end in sight.

What brings me more joy than writing and reading Harry Potter fanfiction and it's characters and ships? TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE IT!

Nathan and I have been having a blast with CoMS and we know you are too and that brings us so much joy. This world needs more love and laughs and we love to provide!

I also love that I can join friends like @snapecentric @danni-the-puff and @willwediejustalittle and others to share our Snapey love amongst ourselves and with others.

It's so much work but it is a labour of love that is worth it.

💕On a personal level...

I need to take better care of myself physically and mentally. There are several things over the years that I've let become lesser priority than they need to be. I need to take the time to recalibrate and find better balance in my life including relationships and health.

I need to be present with my husband and family.

I love the HP fandom and it isn't going anywhere. If I step away from my phone and discord or don't open Google Docs the world isn't going to burst into flames. In fact, by not doing so I create more fires than not. I acknowledge I've had a very selfish year - partly due to my manic depression and severe manic episode - and I need to remember my choices affect others.

Writing and interacting in fandom brings me so much joy, but it's okay for other things to bring me joy. I mean THEY SHOULD.

✨Here's to a Happier and Healthier 2022!✨

And remember...sticks and stones may break our bones, but words are just words. Don't give them more power than they deserve. 💕

Give power to the words that matter. Like how much I love you! 🥰

Pretty sure like everyone under the sun has been tagged already but oh well 🤣 @phenomenalasterisk @samunderthelights @avalonmoonshinesstuff @veelawings @oliverwilde105 @danni-the-puff @francis-sinbin @deaserkan @fuckboyregulus @screamingfae @rhiaflamesong @wheezykat @blue--dreaming @bronwenackeley @ronbinary @fw00shy @erlasart @quicksilvermaid @violetweasley19 @the-sinking-ship @mxmaneater @gnarf @swisstae

#2022 goals #Harry Potter #cw mental health #hp fanfiction #hp fandom #writing #podcast #self care #drarry #love not hate #resolution

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kinghamilton · 3 years ago

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I keep getting close to a milestone and then people unfollow me so I've decided ✨why wait to give a shout-out to the people who make my tumblr experience a lovely one? ✨

To my Nico Haunting Madness squad for being the most hilarious and absolute best 👻

@kweenphia sweetie... I don't know what my fandom life would be without you. I love our discussions so much and I would keep staying up late to chat and and write half stories with you any day <3

@holdmyhopeinyourhands honestly what is there not to love about you... You're always so fun and positive and I like being able to cry about our psg boys together and make fun of every stupid drama. I also don't understand how you have the patience to deal with all your weird anons but 85% of the time your answers are absolutely hilarious.

@lauda4theback bless you and your so well argumented rants when people are being absolutely ridiculous. I am in awe of you. Truly.

@querencva you're a baby but one I want to wrap in a blanket. I hope you succeed in your studies and your internships. I adore seeing your name on my dash. I always smile when I see your icon.

@lescedes my fellow fand(m)om, I appreciate you so much... You have the absolute best blog name on this entire website and you're such a kind person.

Another special shout-out to two of my favorite people. I am so glad I met you both:

To the amazing @historygeek12 for being such a sweet and kind person 💞 you are always here to talk to and I feel very lucky to know you 💙💜

To my fellow French sweetheart @ctolisso for letting me rant about how our national team is just a whole bunch of clowns wearing blue outfits 🤡🇨🇵 and for being a gem in general that is not afraid to threaten me with a good guillotine time 🥖❤️

To some special people that I absolutely love to see on my dash or in my notifications whether we're mutuals or not:

@grandprixwinnerpierregasly I think you were the very first f1 blog I followed and I don't regret it one bit. You are such a genuinely lovable person!

@l8tof1 for being such mood all the time; your posts, your tags... Honey you brighten my dash every day. I don't know how else to say it. I see your name and my heart is happy.

@eld1ablhoe Honesty... you make me laugh so hard so much and thank you for all the motogp and Bayern content. I always anticipate a laugh when I see your name and icon appear.

@heureux4430 you're so nice and I loved each time we've talked! And I like that you diversify my dash with some NBA and music 👌

@electric-arc for being my favorite pro Bottas blog, I think there's barely any post I don't like or reblog for you (and if I miss some it's only because I'm not online at the right time!)

@hungerpunch I see your reblogs and I absolutely love your tags all the time!!!

This post is getting long and there are other people I want to mention and I want to give a special shout-out to all of you but honestly I'd just keep rambling about how I love seeing you on my dash or notifications. I love to talk to you when we do or admire your presence from afar when I'm too shy to reach out, or see your URL pop-up in my notifications. So another few people I have grown to love on here these past few months in no particular order:

@7xwc @itsmetheabnormalone @watermelonseb @sewis-rights @cinnamonstroll @halohamilton @teenwaywardasgardian @lewisbian @teampapaya @heartsoftruth @milou-in-space @goalkepa @eyessshut @sirlewismybeloved @louisxgolden @milky-wayyy @the-place-to-sparkle

I hope I am not forgetting anyone 🥺 if so I am deeply, deeply sorry and it's just my dumb brain being emotional making this post ❤️

#My train was super late so I wrote my lil love note patiently waiting to get home #I love you all much more than I could explain #It's that little comfortable flutter in my heart that goes 'they're online!!!!!!!!'#Personal #Shout-out list

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daddywright · 4 years ago

Note

I have only recently got into the ace attorney fandom, and this story was the first story I read, and I feel spoiled! I absolutely loved every chapter, so I'm gonna word vomit here and tell you everything I love about this!

"She offers him a smile. It’s small, tentative, but it possesses a strength that makes a hidden part of him twist and burn with quiet envy." the first time we see nick's wish to be as strong as mia!

Considering the fact that nick didn't have any prominent figure in his life, it makes sense that he would look up to gregory so much

"Phoenix looks up, and starts walking towards Mia Fey

He doesn't stop for two years."

THE RELATIONSHIP THAT MIA AND NICK HAD WAS PRECIOUS AND DESERVES MORE THAN WHAT THE FANDOM GIVES THEM

"Larry’s arms wrap around him, squeezing almost too tight" People forget that Larry and Phoenix were good friends too, and Larry would help his best friend

"Nobody believed him, nobody but Mia" Maya is what Phoenix is to Mia and I adore that

"He wishes, desperately, that he’d said it while she was still alive. I loved you. For everything you did." Not you absolutely breaking my fucking heart

Also the first AA game felt unnatural in the sense of how seemingly unaffected Phoenix seemed at Mia's murder so I'm really glad you wrote it this way

"Expensive. Thoughtful. Too much." SHUT UP NICK YOU DESERVE ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING

Also quick break to mention how I absolutely fucking love your writing style and i wish I was literally half as talented as you cuz the last time I read something that made me feel this multitude of emotions was ocean vuong. And I practically worship Ocean Vuong. So now I worship you too

"You're a stranger to me // When will I stop hoping?" I never really realised just how badly nick musta been hurt by good ol' bratworth before this fic, but now that I have read it, it would have hurt him so bad

"Is this why you never answered my letters? Because I was a reminder? Because it hurt too much?" Honestly what happened to miles and phoenix's friendship hurts so much because it should have never happened, and miles didn't deserve that.

"Maybe Miles Edgeworth is not the man he thought he’d be, either." yo when I tell you this hurt I mean this huRT

Fun fact! My birthday is on the same day as DL-6 anniversary. Gregory Edgeworth died on my birthday. I feel horrible now

"monster. You were nine years old and he's a monster. " No one has made me feel this much emotion for what happened to Miles in a single sentence other than you. I commend you for that

"I love you," he says quietly. He has never said those words to anyone, except for Dahlia Hawthorne.

Maya sniffs in his ear, crushing him tight. "I love you, too."

He has never heard them back.

PHOENIX HAS NEVER HEARD THE WORDS " I LOVE YOU" COME BACK TO HIM ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME WHY NOW I'M SAD

"Tell me everything. Every detail—" Miles is worried bout nick and why wouldn't he? gods you're so gay miles but tbf if I knew someone like nick irl i'd go ballistic too

"He determined the motive for his own assault...with amnesia. Naturally." My man's smart af and he is king

"Is that what she thinks of me? That I'm like that? That I don't care about who the bad guys really are?" Gumshoe noooo you're hella precious! Also this particular chapter was so well written! loved this soo much!

Also taking a minute to appreciate the pacing! Rarely do I ever come across an author who just hits that sweet spot of perfect pacing and you did! so thank you!

Alright so here are a few thoughts that I felt capcom needed to do which you did for us!

no. 1 - Address the trauma phoenix faced with not only dahlia but also with mia's death

no. 2 - Actually fucking flesh out a good relationship dynamic between larry and phoenix

no. 3 - actually! have! phoenix! be hurt! in bridge to turnabout! istg my man would not have dropped from a burning bridge to a freezing river only to have a cold

AUNT FRANZY AND PEARLS MAN!

THEY CUTE

ok so I have a LOT of feelings for bridge to turnabout and HOO BOY BUCKLE UP

So I always thought that in this fic, miles must have felt fucking awful! I mean he very clearly hates who he was and what that has led to but that must have been doubled over with this case! Phoenix would have died if not for mia and it would have been indirectly miles's fault. I think about that alot

Like he said that he very much regrets whatever he did as bratworth in the phone call with gumshoe but i don't think he anticipated this. poor edgeworth

Also I think this was the final nail in the coffin for miles. Phoenix forgave him, after all the fucked up shit miles did, and that made that man go "how is this guy so fucking compassionate awwwww shit I'm in fucking love with this idiotic brave man".

my main thoughts were "holy shit phoenix must have been feeling awful." like to learn that you were in love with a person who turned out to be a murderer but then not a murderer cuz everything you felt about that was real and just...... it must have hurt. He never fell in love with dahlia. it was iris, always. and WHAT ABOUT MILES DURING THIS!!! Like to learn that the man you love was falsely led to believe that he was in love with a person he rarely met and then learn that his ex who is not murderous might still be in love with him because "that was real. that part was real." like damn. people just gloss over this

also I feel terrible for iris F in the chat for iris lads.

Dahlia literally haunting that courtroom scene. I felt mia's power. I felt her desperation. I felt everything and I am once again in awe of the absolute power your writing holds.

also godsdamn pearls had to go through all that shit huh. also FRANMAYAAAAAA THANK YOUUUU

I too, am a hoe confused as to what I should feel towards diego.

Ok anyways we jump to disbarment now

"He just winks at her and says Maya has other talents, and if Mystic Maya overhears, she puffs up at him like the fish from the aquarium she saw once, the one with all the spikes and silly eyes."

you know what constantly amazes me? your ability to change tones so effortlessly. When writing from edgey's pov, the language is sophisticated. precise. when writing from pearly's pov your language is simplistic, child-like. from phoenix's pov it's natural. grounded

"She never knew anybody who made faces like him, growing up in Kurain, and it’s one of the things that makes him special." Yo phoenix is the most amazing uncle ever and we all know it ok he's brilliant

I'M RUNNING OUT OF CHARACTER LIMITS

PEARLY CALLING EDGEY AT FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE I'M SOFFFFTTTT

“I think I did something really bad." trucy baby no it's not your fault

pearl and trucy bonding supremacy. my girls would fuck shit up

"She’d meant to do this properly, one day." Thank you for giving importance to maya's feelings. thank you for treating her like a real human being. thank you

“Everything that happened...for what? It’s only gotten people hurt. Pearly. Our mother.” Me. Me." I felt so bad for maya here. I wish I could tell you in precise words about how this exact framing of the sentence is what broke me. "me. me" maya deserved more, but mia did all she could

"What do scared kids need? ...Food." not you breaking my godsdamn heart again. phoenix just knows what's it like being a helpless child, and he'll be damned if he ever lets anyone face that again

“‘Course, Pearls,” he says reflexively, before frowning. “What for?” reflexively. if every man in the world could be like phoenix wright then the world would be worthy of the gods

"Another one?" give it 2 years edgey she'll be your daughter too

"after countless hours creating the man’s living space in his mind from the background snatches he’d seen in the man’s ridiculous video calls." NOT ONLY DO THEY VC FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON BUT ALSO MILES ACTUALLY SPENDS TIME TRYING TO RECREATE HIS ROOM?? BECAUSE HE WOULD ONE DAY LIKE TO BE IN IT??? good gods these bitches gay. good for them

"because just as day is light and night is dark, Phoenix Wright is an honorable man." damn straight. you love to see it (it being a 27+ year old man pining for another 27+ year old man)

also hey miles! how do you feel about the fact that the man you love changed his fucking major and degrees halfway through college just so he could see you again only for you to be incredibly rude to him and make him end up in jail! (i bully edgeworth cuz i love him)

"Wright finishes, shrugging like it’s nothing, like his commitment and belief isn’t the most extraordinary thing that Miles has ever faced." it's more than pining at this point. it's incredible faith and trust. Miles had someone who cared about him even after all those years despite him having changed so drastically, ofc he would be surprised. Miles loves phoenix and so do i.

also HOT DAMN YOU WRITING IS JUST * MWAH *

Also the whole segment where they kiss is just !!!!! miles wants! it's beautiful! THEY'RE IN LOVEEE

receiving poisonous bottles which your ex tried to kill you with. My man can't get a break huh

Miles being chivalrous and protective and absolutely stealing my godsdamn heart (and phoenix's too)!

Klavier being the absolute king that he is we stan

The hostage situation section? gods miles must have been terrified.

Phoenix not being able to promise pearly that he'd always come back home and miles hearing it and like... ouch. my heart. you didn't need to do that (but i love your for it)

GODS THE CLIMAX WITH KRISTOPH WAS SOOO SATISFYING AND LIKE MY MAN PHOENIX REALLY PUNCHED THAT BITCH HUH

klavier baby I am so sorry

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL!

and thus my comment ends. I believe I have almost used up all of my commenting limits and i leave with these few parting words : HOLY SHIT YOUR AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU!

also I made a playlist on spotify for this fic! here's the link : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3k8lRHiO8ZXQDLpiTUL7SN?si=fc3b35b4ab064867

gods this was long huh

GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY....WHERE DO I BEGIN...THE FACT THAT YOU BROKE THE CHARACTER LIMIT ON AO3 AND MADE A PLAYLIST? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?

thank you so much for all the amazing things you said....i am crying on a Wednesday morning knowing my writing was appreciated this much. thank you!

#ask tag #long post #my fic #nymphietonkslupin

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fangroyal · 4 years ago

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Fic Rec Tag Meme

@sitp-recs, I’m terribly late, but this looked way too fun, so I had to join in. Fair warning, y’all, not everything here is Drarry, or even HP (I am a prolific rarepair shipper/multi-fandomer, and Dron is my OTP 😂), so I’ve added the fandoms and pairings below as well. All of these (and many more!) can also be found on my ficshelf! It was so hard to pick these as it was, I couldn’t help but point you in the right direction for all the ones I (sadly, unfortunately) had to cut from the list, lol.

Anyway, thank you so much for running this tag meme, @sitp-recs! It’s been amazing seeing everyone’s recs and discovering new fics! 🖤

• A fic you love without knowing the source material: He Was a Punk, Pete Did Tabletop Roleplay by @mscaptainwinchester Marvel | Peter/Wade | NC-17 | 7.5k

• A fic with a premise that shouldn’t work but it does: Anthony J. Crowley, Retired Demon and Airbnb Superhost by @theoldaquarian Good Omens | Hints of Aziraphale/Crowley | G | 3k All fics are valid and work!! That being said, I had no idea just how much I was going to fall in love with a fic about Crowley being an AirBnB host when I first opened it. 😂

• A fic you’ve reread several times: Department of Magical Creatures Case 62637 by @mscaptainwinchester (under RonsPigwidgeon at the time) HP | Draco/various, Ron/OMC, Ron/Draco | R | 121k How could I expected to only pick ONE?! 😂 I’ve reread everything you’re seeing here - I’ve reread nearly every fic I’ve ever recced at least once. But I couldn’t make a favorites list without this fic, so might as well put it here, haha!

• A fic you still remember many years later: Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble by Sushi HP | Severus/Severus | NC-17 | 8.9k I remembered it so well (and fondly) that after 12+ years, I went scouring the Wayback Machine to find it. And yes, the pairing is correct. Don’t look at me. If you’re still interested in reading after knowing that, hit me up, ‘cause it takes a bit of instruction to find it now.

• A comfort fic: You and I by @shiftylinguini HP | Scorpius/Albus S. | NC-17 | 32k

• A cathartic fic: The Conformity Conspiracy by shrink South Park | Michael/Pete (or Ethan/Dylan, as this was written before they had names in canon) | R | 71k I really struggled with this entry. I came to the realization that...I don’t know if I’ve ever actually felt catharsis from a piece of media before??? Well, I have with music, for sure, but not really with anything else. Anyway, I chose this fic for this slot because every time I read it, I’m transported back to being a goth teen. I can feel every word, every action, like I’m going through those years again with them...Which isn’t necessarily what cathartic means, but fuck it, it works for me, haha. ***As always whenever I rec this fic, I do just have to warn that it’s not properly tagged on AO3, and there is definitely some potentially triggering content in it. If you’re interested in reading and would like to know more (so you can be better prepared), feel free to DM me!***

• A fic you’d print and put on your bookshelf: In Flight, Two Boys by lobst_r HP | Marcus/Oliver | NC-17 | 29K Again, how I could possibly pick only one for this one?! I would print out ALL of these fics if I could, and many more! But this is such a beautiful fic, it definitely deserves a spot on the list, and what better spot for it than this? There’s actually a sequel currently posting as well! I haven’t gotten around to reading it yet, but I’m sure it’s just as amazing, if not more so.

• A fic you associate with a song: You Do Your Body Work, I Feel My Pulse Working Overtime by @veelawings HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 1.6k I mean, it’s in the title. 😜 But also this is just a truly inspiring fic that I absolutely had to include! (I realized I somehow haven’t queued a rec post for it yet, and I will make sure to fix that soon!)

• A fic that inspires you: dirtynumbangelboy by @magpiefngrl HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 39k

• A fic that brought you onboard a new ship: Lumos by birdsofshore HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 41k Some people may be surprised to know that Drarry was, uh.......once my NOTP. Yes, really. 😂 You wouldn’t suspect that nowadays, would you??? LOL. It’s all because of this wonderful, beautiful fic. I saw it getting recced everywhere at the time and said fuck it, I’ll give the pairing another try - and I never looked back!

• A fic you wish could be a movie: Midnight in the City of a Hundred Spires by @shiftylinguini HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 25k

• A fic that led to you making friends with the author: A Weasel in the Hamptons by @peachpety HP | Ron/Draco | NC-17 | 15k I don’t quite know if this counts, because I believe we’d already been speaking before this??? 😂 But of course, being that I’m the mod for Ron/Draco Fest, I knew who was writing for this prompt of mine, and thus we dispensed with the formalities in private, haha! It was a great experience, and I was so overjoyed to see the results in the end. So happy to have met you, love! 😘 Hope you’re well!

• Free Space: The Pizzaria: A Sordid Tale of Destiny, Evil and Garlic by Mad_Maudlin HP | Ron/Draco | PG-13 | 36k A Dron/crack!fic staple, honestly, and I just couldn’t make a favorites list without it!

• A fic you’ve gushed about irl: Runway by @candawrites HP | Ron/Draco | R | 15k

• A fic you associate with a place: Archipelago by Mad_Maudlin HP | Ron/Draco | NC-17 | 18k I just have a very distinct visual memory of reading this fic for the first time: sitting on the couch in my mom’s living room, the sun setting outside. (I was visiting for her bday, I believe???) I think of that moment every time I see the title.

• A fic that made you gasp out loud: clutched your life and wished it kept by @glitteringvoids HP | Ron/Draco | R | 110K

• A fic you found at the right time: Howlr by @partialtopotter HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 47k I got really sick in summer 2018. I know I’ve talked about it on here a million times at this point, so I won’t dwell. But I ended up finding and reading this fic the following March, and it reawakened my love of fic and fandom that had been lost over the previous months while I was dealing with everything. I hadn’t been reading or writing at all in all that time, and I ended up reading this whole thing in one sitting. I couldn’t put it down! It just made me feel so good, after a long time of not feeling anywhere near good.

• A fic that you would read fic of: In the Garden After Dark by @the-starryknight HP | Draco/Harry | R | 3.5k I just need more of this universe and Draco’s Illusion magic. 😍

• A fic that made you laugh out loud: Why Parvati Patil Must Die by hull1984 HP | Ron/Draco | PG-13 | 39k

• A fic with a line (or two) that you’ve memorized by heart: Hail to the King by Mad_Maudlin HP | Ron/Zacharias, Ron/Zacharias/Draco | NC-17 | 5k

• A fic that gave you butterflies: The Electric Fizzing Prick Pistols, or Whatever by whitmans_kiss HP | Sirius/Remus | PG-13 | 3.8k

• A fic that embodies something that you value in life: Luna Lovegood: Wank Coach for the Long-Since Deceased by yrfrndfrnkly HP | gen | PG-13 | 9.8k This was another difficult category to choose for. Not that I don’t think any fics I’ve read display good values! Of course they do! But I have this weird issue where I don’t, like...project? at all??? So sometimes it’s hard for me to recognize these things in what I read. But eventually I realized it had to be this fic, because I just love the carefree way Luna lives her life here, her job helping people (well, ghosts who could use some sexual release, specifically, but you know), and the wonderful friends she surrounds herself with.

• A favorite AU: Quibbler Unsolved by Leontina HP | Draco/Harry | PG-13 | 17k More of a fusion than an AU, but it’s just fantastic!

• A fic you stayed up too late to finish reading: Grounds for Divorce by @tepre HP | Draco/Harry | NC-17 | 122k

• A fic that made you feel seen: Taste the Rainbow by @maraudersaffair HP | Ginny/Pansy | PG-13 | 639

#fic rec tag meme #fangqueen recs fics #fangqueen speaks

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