#I mean with literally 0 effort on my part.

[girl-with-bones]

hi hello i am a different person you have never met. also I vaguely dislike you for some reason

huh wow that's a really mean thing to say. Why would you do that. I'm sure this will net me zero internet points for having a funny response and/or displaying an inflammatory statement that gets people to interact.

Thanks, different random person. What a funny and/or shocking spontaneous interaction we're having.

[akirathedramaqueen]

The bias is not always conscious

And that's the case with Stolas. That's it, that's basically the post, so you can count it as your tl;dr, but let me elaborate. :)

(A little gratitude note! Sorry @tealvenetianmask, I failed being concise here, but I thank you for encouraging me to put it all together :3 I also thank you for our conversations about Stolas and about museums in particular which heavily contributed to it)

I think there's some misunderstanding when people get offended by the suggestion that Stolas acts classist/racist. It seems that people assume we’re implying he is malicious and intentional with it, but the actual problem is that he doesn't think.

S2EP2, Seeing Stars, 1:29

The problematic behavior we're discussing is reflexive and internalized. Stolas was raised in an environment where the lower demon class is looked down upon, and while he believes he expresses nothing but deep respect for Blitzø and treats him as an equal…

Goodnight, Blitzø. S1EP7, Ozzie's, 14:50

And while you can see from this bow that this intention is sincere, which is both wonderful and fascinating—he preserved this profound gesture ever since he was a kid, despite being actively discouraged from doing so!...

[Stolas]: I'm Stolas! It's nice... Ouch! [Paimon]: Don't bow to that one! He bows to us! Idiot! S2EP1, The Circus, 7:40

He was still raised in privilege and influenced by the narratives around him. For him, it's acceptable because that's what he was taught is fine. It's part of his everyday speech, and he never actually asks Blitzø, or anyone else, how they feel about the literally belittling nicknames (like literally—do you notice how often he uses the word "little" when referring to imps?).

I mean... there's a lot, okay? I'm just going to pull out some examples off the top of my head. All of them are from Season 1, and I'll explain why later.

I was hoping you brave little imps would accompany us! S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 5:15

Ugh, that's better... Where's Blitzy? He's my knight in shining armor, not you, littler ones! S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 13:22

And it [grimoire] isn't supposed to be lent out to itty-bitty imps like yourself. S1EP5, The Harvest Moon Festival, 0:30

Greetings, tiny Wrath Ring imps! S1EP5, The Harvest Moon Festival, 8:22

[Stolas, in the background]: Who dares threaten my little impish plaything? S1EP6, Truth Seekers, 18:20

How the fuck did you get caught by humans? Are you little creatures not being careful up here? S1EP6, Truth Seekers, 19:38

He also takes pride in being part of Ars Goetia. That pride seeps into his mind whether he wants it to or not. He lives in a huge palace, never worries about money, can arrange a seat in a club that’s always booked out, and gets admitted to a hospital immediately, while hellhounds wait five years for a Hellbies shot.

Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know. S1EP2, Loo Loo Land, 4:39

Most of these examples come from Season 1 because, after the disastrous Ozzie’s date, Stolas begins to unconsciously cut back on this language. He seems to sense that something is wrong, though he doesn’t fully understand why. However, he is acutely aware of the problems with the transaction and the unfair dynamics it creates, and he is serious about putting Blitzø on equal ground by providing him with the means to run his business independently of Stolas.

And still, he maintains full control over the conversation during the Full Moon meeting, immediately dismisses Blitzø after one mistake, and throws him out. He continues to impose his narrative on Blitzø and…

I don't look down on you! How many times do I— When have I ever?! S2EP9, Apology Tour, 2:45

When have you ever indeed, Stolas? You literally look down on Blitzø saying that. This moment illustrates the problem clearly. He isn’t lying when he says he doesn’t look down on Blitzø because he genuinely believes he doesn’t.

Despite all said, Stolas is making a tremendous effort and is progressing, and he is far ahead of Stella, who is openly classist/racist and very conscious of her biases. So I believe—no, I know—he will get there one day. But not today.

This is something I take quite seriously, and I think people need to understand how dangerous this subtlety can be, as it happens all the time in real life too.

How often do you ask yourself why medical research groups are predominantly represented by white, cis, upper-middle-class males, and how this affects the efficiency of treatments suggested in these studies for everyone else—women, people of color, non-binary folks, and those who struggle financially?

How often do you visit museums and see art created by wealthy aristocrats who defined what constitutes 'fine art,' while 'folk art'—often created by marginalized communities—is overlooked and lost to time?

I could elaborate further on how deep and cruel this bias is, but I’ll stop here. I just ask you to consider why you might get offended when someone points out Stolas's subtle bigotry and why you might downplay it compared to the loud, aggressive Blitzø, whose anger and avoidant issues are obvious.

Just sit with it.

[miwiheroes]

Dropping Byler Evidence Every (Other) Day Until Season 5

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ Day 22: The Flowers . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Ah yes, I can finally start analysing one of my favourite scenes heehehehe (the airport)

I have decided to split this analysis up into two sections lmaooo, um you can read under the cut down below the first part of the analysis if you want something that is very speculatory, and isn't necessarily evidence, more like something interesting.

First of all, the act of getting your girlfriend flowers is a classic, 'I know how to be a good boyfriend!' act, while still showing that there are problems underneath the surface. In this scene, the point of the flowers is to be a symbol. Otherwise, what would it be? Something to further show that Milkvan is cute and endearing? That doesn't line up with the rest of the airport scene which conveys their problems (all the lies and pretending).

The flowers are in this scene to be a symbol of Mike and El's relationship.

At first this seems like it sheds some positive light on Milkvan because it's obviously a nice gift, and she would appreciate it because they are her favourite colours. However, the things that Mike says in relation to the flowers seem extremely out of place and specific. Now, saying that he 'hand picked' them for her in Hawkins is a nice gesture that a lot of shippers really appreciate, but it is really important to the overall symbolism that he is the one who makes the choice about the colours. (more on that later)

He says some really 'random' stuff:

"I know you also like purple so I got some purples as well so I kind of did a 70/30 split kind of thing"

The 70/30 comment is so specific. The writers really like to put subtle foreshadowing into their dialogue, and being that this scene is at the beginning of the show, i believe it must be talking about how much he puts into the relationship versus how much he's getting out of it. An inequitable relationship is unsatisfying (x, xx), which may show that it's probably either Mike or El putting in the effort while getting less out of it. (Mike puts in the effort to seem normal and functioning while not getting true happiness out of it, El puts in the effort of lying and doing romantic things while not getting an expression of love out of it, which is what she thinks she needs.)

As for him handpicking them in Hawkins.... well....

The same flowers that El, EL, picks up and inspects are the ones that Mike picked out himself in the same town. By the end of the season, their relationship is extremely different than it was at the start, the 70/30 split is no longer a split, it's simply a 0, because the flowers are dead.

So these are 2 instances so far of the characters calling upon flowers for symbolism and.... there is a third one, which is right at the beginning of S4.

See this is why I truly believe that these must be a symbol of Mike and El's relationship. Mike picked spring flowers for El, which are a symbol of their relationship being inequitable, and later on, they are used to symbolise their relationship literally dying (damn). But this here is what shows that El will be fine on her own. Time and time again, Millie and the writers have said/written that El needs to find herself and who she is without the men in her life.

So: "At first I missed [my relationship with Mike], but now I [can find happiness]."

Flowers = Mil*ven. And it's also interesting that yellow flowers symbolise friendship and purple flowers symbolise admiration, and as we know, admiration for her powers is one of the main things that Mike ends up referencing when he admits his 'love' to her.

Now, the yellow flowers being in the bouquet is interesting because, as stated very importantly by Mike himself, he was the one who picked them. Meaning, he would have made the decision, however subconscious, to put 'too many' yellow flowers into the bouquet. And another thing we also know is that yellow is Will's colour.

This colour symbolism is emphasised during the season, when Will wears the colour yellow for the majority of it, and is placed under the yellow light in this scene^

Another funny thing that I noticed is that Mike says:

"I know you like the colour yellow, but now I'm realising that it's too much yellow."

Rewatching this scene makes me think it's kind of odd for him to say that he's just now realising that it's too much yellow. As if he accidentally put too much in, and kind of realises it in that moment like he's saying sorry to her about it?? But then he just takes that realisation and turns it into a 'romantic' thing, acting like he'd intended that the whole time with the '70/30' split.

That means he didn't actually mean to. The writers are trying to convey through symbolism that Mike has been thinking of Will subconsciously the past few months, which is then confirmed by the Rink o Mania scene and the Cool Cool scene. He only regrets the fact that he did it in retrospect. Aka as soon as he sees El.

SO: The flowers are a symbol for Mike and El's relationship, showing that they put in a lot of work into the relationship, but do not get an equal amount out of it, which is unsatisfying. The flowers also are shown to be dead by the end of the season. El says that at first she missed the flowers, but in the end, she's fine without them.

NOW TIME FOR THE STRANGE STUFF

So this is at the end of S1, and if we assume that there are no, throwaway lines in Stranger things, we should be able to also assume that this is meant to foreshadow something. In my opinion, this has to foreshadow S4 and S5.

In this scene, it's clear that the kids (symbolising the audience of stranger things) are talking about something that Mike (symbolising the writers of stranger things) has left out or not explained. This is what happens in S4.

What about the lost knight? -- This refers to Mike, whose DND character is obviously a paladin, but Will draws him and paints him as a knight in shining armour. He is clearly 'lost' because he does not know what to do about his relationships with Will and El at the end of S4. He has just said he loved El, but he still wants to help Will and doesn't really know his feelings until the painting is revealed. Therefore he is lost.

And the proud princess? -- It doesn't take much deducing to know that this has to refer to El, whose arc in S4 is to realise that she is not a monster for having her powers, making her proud of who she is. The audience are worried about her and her fate, because she seems at a crossroads.

And the weird flowers in the cave? -- Obviously, I've already talked about the flowers being a symbol for Mike and El's relationship. The 'weird' part about them is that they are so inconsistent and out of place on a show like ST, because of how conformist it seems in comparison to their nonconformist message. 'In the cave' refers to the fact that the flowers are dead, and now part of the UD, which is the 'cave'.

In This LAST SCENE:

El is stood in front of the others, now with her powers that she is proud of.

Mike is stood with Will, lost in relation to his feelings towards both El and Will, not truly understanding them.

The flowers are rotting. In the 'cave' (UD)

Just something to think about <3

[ivryne]

late night, telephones ˖ ࣪

⋆ ᳝ ֺ alhaitham x gn!reader | modern high school!au

— in which Kaveh made it his life mission to find out who is his roommate’s secret lover. [ pt two here ]

“Yes, goodnight darling. I’ll see you tomorrow. Yeah, love you too.”

Accidentally overhearing Alhaitham’s late night phone call was one thing Kaveh didn’t plan on. But hearing those words spur from his literally cold-as-ice tongue made him question his existence. Alhaitham?? Being affectionate with someone???? Saying ‘I love you’ back??? Was Kaveh about the be called up to celestia and live his remaining life with the primodial one??

Okay it’s not even about the fact that he called them darling. OR THE FACT THAT HE SAID I LOVE YOU BACK. Even though those facts alone were something he desperately need to talk about later. But one thing Kaveh was mostly surprised at was the fact that someone wanted to be affectionate with him.

That made him wonder. Like the green haired moron does literally nothing but sit and read. Without his pretty face, perfect brawns, and outstandingly smart brain, he would be nothing. No but seriously, did you ever see Alhaitham taking a step forward to start a conversation? No, exactly! In fact he’s the one that takes the initiative to stop them.

So from now on, Kaveh decided to make it his life mission to find out who exactly is willing to suffer for the sake of being with Alhaitham.

Going to his lists of candidates he has…uhm. He can’t really think of anyone right now rather than the librarian that spends 24/7 in the library. I mean he guessed they do have one thing in common. But no let’s cross that out.

Oh yeah! Alhaitham was in the student council. He was there as secretary! Okay that opened up a few spots for some people Alhaitham could be dating.

Okay so far here is his list:

1. Vice president of the student council, Cyno

Notes: possibility 40%. Seen them talk before but they hate each other sm. Honestly giving enemies to lovers vibe but didn’t Cyno had a thing w Tighnari? Idk need to check again.

2. Student council head of social media department, Nilou

Notes: possibility 60%. Very very pretty, single too (I think??) Seen them talk but I think only abt student council matters (or is it??). Kinda too good for Alhaitham. She doesn’t seem to be the type that likes cold guys. Does that cross her out??

3. Student council head of sports department, Dehya

Notes: possibility -100%. Definitely not. Rumour spreading around that she’s dating Dunyazard. Ship them sm ngl if she turned out to he dating Alhaitham I’ll kill him for ruining my ship. But overall definitely not.

4. Student council president, [ Name ]

Notes: possibility 25%. Nah bro they too good for him. They’re literally the definition of social butterfly and he’s likes the opposite. So many ppl chasing after them fr so if they turned out to be taken by Alhaitham, I’ll personally go back to celestia myself.

So far that was the list! It was okay so far but he needed more evidence. The one with most percentage on his list was Nilou. He’ll have to ask around to find more candidates too. But he was sure that the list of candidates wouldn’t be more than 5.

Before you questioned Kaveh to why didn’t he just asked Alhaitham, it’s because he would just stare at him blatantly and said “It’s not your problem” ! Honestly, getting an answer from Alhaitham aside for calculus matters is extremely difficult.

He did his research and observations. Alhaitham goes to the library every day (literally). He spends his time there reading the same kind of shit he does at home, staying quietly at a remote corner, away from all the other students.

There was no way this man is taken. The problem is he doesn’t even try. Like at all. 0 efforts. If Kaveh was his lover, he would’ve dump his ass in public and let him suffer the embarrassment. The worst part about that is the fact that he probably won’t even care!

After what seemed like 30 minutes, Kaveh decided that all was hopeless and finally went his merry away. Ah, if only he stayed just a minute more. Then he wouldn’t have missed your approaching figure heading towards the man whose nose is stuck in a book.

“Hi.” A small smile graced your lips, your eyes melt into those turquoise hues, one that reeked of fondness and admiration.

No words of greetings has yet to leaves his tongue, but the way he scooted over to the right, indicating you too sit by him was more than enough.

“So, when are we going to tell him?” Alhaitham averted his gaze from his book unto you. His eyes slightly squinted, showcasing evidence of him clearly thinking.

“Is it really equivalent for him to know?” Your boyfriend asked, earning a soft chuckle from you.

“Statically speaking, not really. But the way he’s searching for candidates is so hilarious and amusing to watch, don’t you think, darling?” Alhatham lifted his book up to eye level, covering the dust of pink that shimmered around his features.

He pondered awhile before replying “Ah you’re not wrong. It is quite the fun to see him run around chasing for some bit of evidence. A mastermind are you, my love?” Now it was your turn to flush shades of red. You can see the smile of adoration on his eyes cascading through the shades of his irises.

Times like these are where you love him most. Where the two of you sit in the presence of one another, quietly scheming and watching that friend of yours running around like a detective on a case. Seeing him desperately looking for the answer when it is right in front of him, sitting cross legged and maneuvering the most amusing smile.

do not repost, share, or copy ! Reblogs and likes very much appreciated!! Thankyou for taking ur time to read this hope you enjoyed it! Follow me for more xx

©️ shrslair.

[solarsturniolo]

Part 2 of frat boy from hell

@matts-myloverboy this is for u 🤍

1. very egotistical for someone that is not conventionally attractive

2. lied to me about his body count??? for whatever reason??

3. he lowkey looks like the dream man (yall i wish i was joking, my friend and i did a side by side comparison and the resemblance is…)

4. he’s not funny

5. he’d cancel plans so many times, it drove me up the fucking wall

6. he begged to see my ass tat for about a month because i got it out of spite when i cut him off the first time (i always do something to make myself hotter after men disappoint me).

7. i hadn’t spoken to him in a month and he broke no contact with me WHILE I WAS AT A CONCERT. he proceeded to text me the entire last half of the concert.

8. the same night, he added my friend (that i went to the concert with) on snapchat and tried to slide into her dm’s (it failed because nobody finds him attractive but me 😭)

9. he doesn’t look the same in any picture, so i’m convinced he’s a skinwalker

10. i got a guy’s snap at the bar one night and he confronted me about it the next time we hung out. (“so you’re just giving out your snap to guys at the bar huh? i mean i wasn’t going around doing that 🙄”)

11. i told yall he follows me and watches me at the bar, but guys it’s like BAD lmao. If i go upstairs, he goes upstairs. If i go downstairs, he’s there five minutes later watching me. He sat at the bar watching me sing every bar to WAP with my friend on Halloween. Every single second he was watching me.

12. His halloween costume was Napoleon Dynamite (it was literally just a vote for pedro shirt) (he knows how much i despise people who put 0 effort into a halloween costume)

13. said he wanted to try lsd…

14. left me sitting by myself for two hours while he played beer pong

15. he does this weird thing with his arm when he plays pong, it’s like some weird crane thing and idk it’s cringe and weird

16. asked me for a nip slip pic while he was in an airport 😀

17. asked me for nudes while i was on a trip with my friend because “i’ve missed that body”

18. calls me mommy (not a red flag, i just wanted to include it)

19. it took him until almost 3:00 to say happy birthday to me on my birthday

20. he got a ticket for buying alcohol with a fake

21. his grammar is god awful and it makes me want to punch him

22. he sexualized billie eilish as if i wouldn’t defend her with my life

23. he eats like a pig

24. i have never seen this man drink water (unless it was MY water that I ASKED FOR after sex)

25. his nut tastes like straight battery acid

26. he’d beg me for back scratches and head scratches

27. he refuses to buy new socks??? his have holes in them and are falling apart at the seams????

28. one of his roommates drives me up the fucking wall, i hate him so much lmfao

29. he’s so rude to the pledges??? yeah i get they’re still in the hazing faze and such but he literally forced one of them to make his bed and clean his room WHILE I WAS RIGHT THERE and told him to compliment me and blah blah blah i was like DAWG THIS IS A HUMAN BEING BE NICE TO HIM????

30. he’d stalk my stories for the longest time

31. he wanted to take my super cool Friday the 13th hockey jersey??? (“can i borrow it? and by borrow it i mean keep it?”)

32. i got a really bad leg cramp in his bed one night and told him to get up so i could stand up and stretch it out. He would not move and told me he could give me a massage but that i’d need to take my pants and underwear off????

33. he thought i wouldn’t find out that he got with a girl with an std. he tried to kiss me and i pushed him away. “woah…why’d i lowkey get rejected?”

34. that same night he asked if i had been talking to any other guys. I said no. I asked if he had been talking to any other girls. He lied and said no. I showed him the screenshotted receipts i had that said otherwise.

35. I made him get tested. When i asked if he got the results back he said “No, but visual results are in the clear.”

36. he tried to hit my cart without me offering and without asking??? hello, that’s not yours?????

37. Maybe this is tmi? but he’d finger me so hard that i would bleed every time…like blood would be EVERYWHERE. It didn’t even feel good either

38. the d was alright. it was better when i got to be on top

39. one time in missionary he rolled his eyes and it looked like that tiktok trend guys used to do where they’d tap the side of their forehead and roll their eyes. I got the ick and had to change positions into doggy so i wouldn’t have to look at him again

40. he said i love you while he was balls deep in me and i was just like 😀 oh

41. his tinder profile was…scary…

42. he bragged that he could make me cum 5 times with just his mouth. (he didn’t make me cum once in the many times we hooked up)

43. Oh my god this shit pissed me tf off. He and his frat brothers brought their dog to a frat party. The dog was two months old, drenched from the rain, TERRIFIED because he was being cornered by 40 drunk girls, and the fucking idiots managed to LOSE HIM. I straight up told him we weren’t fucking until they found out where the dog was and got him safely home.

44. he saw guys flirting with me at the bar and went up to interrupt these guys and start talking to them???? for no reason??? i was like wtf is going on???

45. the first movie he chose to pick for us to watch together was about a girl being kidnapped, raped, and sold into sex slavery??????

46. he has a horrible taste in movies and thinks he’s hot shit because he likes the wolf of wall street. (spoiler alert, EVERYONE LIKES THE WOLF OF WALL STREET)

47. the first date i went on with him was a double date. I was so disinterested that i almost got up and left because he was ignoring me to have a 30 minute conversation with the frat president IN THE SAME ROOM AS ME. RIGHT ACROSS FROM ME.

48. he’d invite me over and tell me to just come in whenever i’d get there. I’m stubborn and old fashioned, so i’d wait in my car until he’d come wandering out looking for me lol

49. his frat got rejected by the school. they can’t throw any parties or events on campus lmfao

50. he says the n word

Anywayssssss 😀

[ljbrary]

You absolute dunce. Either wake up, or stop trying to pretend you care about what’s happening on Gaza. It’s not a “war,” and it’s not a “conflict.” It’s a full-fledged genocide. A war or conflict can only occur between two free nations, who are more or less standing on equal ground. That is NOT what is happening between Palestine and Izrahell. In what kind of a conflict/war does one side control the water, electricity, food, aid etc going into the other side? None. It’snotreal is a parasitic, violent occupation, and the Palestinian people have every right to resist. You have literal Holocaust survivors begging for ceasefire and calling it a genocide, not wanting it to continue. But of course, zios are just modern-day nazis and don’t care about what even the actual Jews, the living Holocaust survivors have to say.

omg my first antisemitic anon hate!! thank you!!!!

Anyone who I actually care about knows who I am as a person and how I feel about the sanctity of human life, so I don't really care about your opinion of me, and especially don't feel the need to indulge in a litmus test on geopolitical politics from you of all people, hope this helps!!

Anyway, I hope you take constructive criticism.

Your review:

Delivery: 6/10.

You get points for decent grammar and sentence structure. It was easy to read, and I like how you used quotation marks correctly, so bonus points for that. First sentence was a good hook, but the incorrect use of commas at the end kinda threw me off a little :/

Creativity: 1/10.

Literally, did you even try?? Not one single independent thought was expressed. Boring. Seen it before. Try harder, please. If you're going to try to play with words, make sure you actually know what they mean; you semantically can't do that to the word "Israel," sorry. It's a Hebrew word, so butchering it in English just feels really juvenile. Would like to have seen better effort with that.

Word choice: 0/10.

You would have gotten points for the words "dunce," because I haven't heard that word since like the 1930s, and "parasitic," because I thought that was an interesting use of the word, but unfortunately you got points taken off for using a KKK slur :/

Literary devices: -17/10.

The Holocaust inversion was not part of the rubric, so I had to take extra points off for that, and unfortunately it went into the negatives. Sorry :/ (I would have given you points for the use of irony, when you equated a KKK slur for Jews to the entity responsible for the worst genocide of Jews in history, but I'm absolutely sure that you did not use it on purpose, so the points were voided.)

Other notes:

The choice to be a coward (anonymous) really added to the ambiance of the message, but unfortunately I don't see a spot on the rubric for that, so no points were awarded.

Overall: -10/40 = -25%. Congrats, you failed! Disrespectfully, go fuck yourself!

.עם ישראל חי

[maespri]

my thoughts on the your turn to die percentage sheets

i keep thinking about how strange the percentage sheets are in your turn to die. so. here’s my thought dump. everything under the cut.

spoiler warning for the whole game, just in case…

so. from my understanding, they’re based off of the AI test runs of the death game, or off of the characters personalities prior to being put in the death game. but how exactly would either of those things work?

for starters, if they’re based off the AI runs, then the percentages instantly become unreliable the moment any uncontrolled variable enters the death game. in this case, that would be joe and (if im remembering correctly) nao. joe and nao presumably were not part of the test runs, considering the fact that neither character had an AI made for them in chapter 2 (besides joe, technically, but he wasn’t part of the main panel, so… he’s up in the air). therefore, the fact that they are in the death game instantly makes the percentages null. it’s like throwing a slice of banana into a smoothie full of vegetables- it may seem small, but now the entire composition of the smoothie is totally different.

literally every characters percentage could be different based on the sole fact that joe and nao are in the death game. you might assume it would only really affect sara or mishima, but this isn’t true at all- from big questions, such as who would’ve picked up the sacrifice cards in chapter 1 and 2?- to small questions, like… in chapter 1, would sara have ever even opened that door under the bar that shin couldn’t get open if joe hadn’t done it?

we’ve heard that sara’s percentage was only so high because in every run, she would do terrible things to win, becoming increasingly violent with sole interest in self preservation. so joe was put in to be a handicap for her. but, once again, this makes her percentage- you guessed it- inaccurate! it would presumably be considerably lower with joe there.

if the percentages are based on the characters personalities prior to the death game test runs, based on what asunaro has gathered from watching these people for forever, i think that actually only makes them even more inaccurate. that means the percentages are entirely based on assumption. just because sara can be an intense person, does not mean she would have the highest chance of winning. similarly, just because shin is weaker than a newborn baby, doesn’t necessarily mean he would have a 0% chance of winning.

so, here’s my thing with the percentages. i think either way, it fails to consider one of the games overarching themes, and a topic i could go into extreme detail on in another post: humans are inherently good. and inherently very unpredictable. and AI can never replicate that, no matter how accurate asunaro’s data may be on these people. they can run the AI death game a million times, but the robot versions of each person cannot perfectly simulate how a real human would genuinely act in such a situation. this is also because AI can imitate fear and desperation, but it cannot actually feel it, and i’d argue feeling is the driving force behind every decision characters make in this game.

another thing i want to note is the concept of zero probability and impossibility, which basically just means the chance of something happening can never be 0%. anything can happen. and that means that in at least one simulation of the AI death games, each character won, even if it was only 1 time out of 1 billion runs. which means that shin’s percentage absolutely could not be 0%.

it does the beg the question of why asunaro made the AI’s at all, because if they put that much effort into them, i don’t think they would A) make their data totally unreliable by throwing in unknown variables during the real thing, or B) run all those death games tests and collect the data. i honestly think the AI’s were solely to impede the characters.

this isn’t to fault the game at all, however- in fact, i think the percentage sheet is incredibly genius if only for the amount of chaos it causes. it’s a completely unreliable piece of information, and yet shin sees it and thinks, “15% versus my 0%… ok, this seventeen year old girl is my WORST enemy now…”

another thing that i’m too lazy to figure out for myself rn but is a question i had- do the percentages even add up to 100? because i don’t think they do. which begs the question of what they’re actually out of. sara has a 15% chance of winning, out of… 100? out of 20? out of 50? out of 1000? i know percentages don’t have to add up to 100, but it just adds to the unreliableness. technically, we don’t know what these percentages are measured out of.

i guess my overarching point here is just that the percentages sheet is really interesting, and simultaneously really useless and unreliable. but that’s what makes it so interesting. i think it instills a feeling of dread and uncertainty in the player seeing how low certain percentages for other characters are, or maybe it instills confidence and superiority seeing how high sara’s is. either way, it definitely helps you understand why shin acts the way he does once you figure out he’s known about the sheet from the beginning.

anyway. that’s it. i’m sure someone else has talked about this or everyone knew about it blah blah blah but. whatever i had fun writing it out. Peace and love

[pencileraser1]

:0 penny for your thoughts on Neil, Charlie + Knox and their parental relationships?

ok so i have had a post floating around in m drafts about this that i just didn't finish so here it is but finished:

charlie and knox in the drop the annual scene in particular i find interesting. watching charlie specifically you can tell a lot about both his relationship with neil and his relationship with his parents. when neil and mr. perry leave the room and he just kinda looks at the door with this sort of angry, almost vindictive look and it was like. he knows!! he understands exactly what neil's father is like!! and then there's the "so i don't like it any more than you do" line after that which makes it clear that charlies parents are about as controlling an neil's father. we put so much emphasis on todd's relationship with neil but i think neil and charlie's relationship is also really fucking interesting. overall the way charlie deals with how controlling his parents are is very different to neil (intentionally acting out vs. trying incredibly hard to fulfill their expectations) but their parents are actually probably extremely similar in a lot of ways.

i've always gotten the impression that knox had a good relationship with his parents, particularly when compared to neil charlie and todd, but i didn't really have any concrete reasoning other than just inferences. after rewatching the movie the last few times i think its just how he seems so content to mostly do the things his parents want him to do. he goes to the danburry's kind of rolling his eyes about it but other than that seems fully content just to go. he's the one who tells neil to tell his dad off. neil points out that knox and charlie don't go against their parents; charlie's says that he doesn't like being controlled by them either, and knox says nothing. plus from one cutscene you find out he's in the "sons of alumni" club. which doesn't necessarily mean anything but could?? i guess. he says that his parents will kill him for trying to go after chris but still does it without really thinking about the consequences, which contrasts with neil doing everything he can to prevent his father from finding out about the play and charlie submitting the article in a way that is hinted he did to get into trouble on purpose.

idk i just think the contrast between knox vs. neil vs. charlie's relationships with their parents is interesting. like all three having specific expectations put on them but while charlie and neil very much don't want to fulfill those expectations, knox doesn't seem to mind being exactly the person his parents want him to be. additionally i do think knox's parents may be a lot less strict which probably also adds to that difference. meanwhile charlie and neil definitely seem to feel the stress that's being put on them by their parents, but act in opposite ways because of it. neil tries extremely hard to follow what his parents want him to do whereas charlie is shown repeatedly and intentionally acting out because of it. instead of hiding everything he does that his parents wont approve of like neil, he makes what he's doing extremely obvious. the most obvious time was submitting the article to the school paper, to which nolan literally tells him that he isn't the first student to try to get expelled. and while i'm not sure how hard charlie Was trying to get expelled (i don't think that was the only motivation although it was probably part of it, the movie makes a point to tell us that and probably wouldnt've if it werent true. and in the end he does get expelled. neil on the other hand tries so hard to not directly go against his parents that he decides that killing himself is the best option. his justification of "i can't tell my dad i'm in the play because if he doesn't know, i won't be directly disobeying him" is very telling. and finally while knox does say that his parents will kill him if he tries to get with chris, he makes very little effort either trying to hide it from his parents, or trying to make it obvious in the way charlie did. he seems to actually be most concerned about chet danburry's reaction, and that is the only person he does anything different because of. while his parents may be mad at him for getting with chris, he likely isn't nearly as concerned about their reaction, given that other than mentioning they'd be mad, he does nothing about it

[idontmindifuforgetme]

hey cianna!! love to me anon here (i don’t know if you still remember me, but here’s to hoping!), and i wanted to ask. how do you know when you’re absolutely done. like, i’ve given everything i ever had to everyone i’ve ever met and it’s still not enough.. but. there’s always a “but” to my mindset and words, and even though i’ve tried to fix it over the past few months, it’s just not working. i don’t know what else to do nor fix anymore

I’m done when I see that the person is willing to put 0 effort into trying and nothing will change. I’m done when I realize that the person has checked out of a relationship (romantic or platonic) and at this point I’m chasing breadcrumbs just to feel like they really care. I’m done when I see they refuse to communicate about the problem. I’m done when all the sweet memories I have w them are from a long time ago rather than recent, meaning I’m clinging on to a version of them that no longer exists.

Have you asked yourself just why you’re willing to extend so much grace to people? I feel like it’s easy to say “bc I’m just patient” “I’m attached to them” etc etc but I have had this issue before, and on digging deeper I realized a big part of it was bc of the scarcity mindset. I was scared that I would not find any better if I were to cut them off, or I was attached to a version of them that no longer existed, or dysfunction was all I knew and I literally could not even conceive the idea of more healthy, more dynamic friendships. I’m not saying that you should liberally cut off anyone you don’t 100% mesh with, but you should really uproot the reasons as to why you’re okay with disrespecting your own boundaries over and over for people who’re not even willing to return the effort. For me it boiled down to insecurity.

To reiterate, I’m not saying you have to dramatically cut them off or anything. This really depends on a case to case basis. But at the very least, dedicate less of your time to those who drain your energy and more to those who nourish it. You will be so much happier for it.

[pluralthey]

can i ask for more about shiloh? She has such an unique design and her and Jessie's relationship seems interesting :0

shiloh is hard to describe from any one angle i feel like. when i made her character, i needed her to be someone who would immediately catch jessie's eye just walking past her, someone who would willingly enter a relationship with god without fear, and someone who had some kind of power in the relationship between them. she ended up as someone older, more experienced, and more confident than jessie, someone eccentric and unafraid to look the part, and someone who isn't necessarily trying to drown but isn't trying to paddle to shore either.

as a naked mole rat, she can't really feel pain. whatever fear reflex people learn from pain, she did not, although other naked mole rats might still have more self-preservation due to a natural predispositions. i see her as someone closer to having an unnatural level of analgesia even for a mole rat; she isn't incapable of feeling pain, but it will only be in areas where a lot of nerves would be clustered anyway, because adult naked mole rats' pain tolerance comes from a reduction in nerve population to conserve biological resources (they are born with a normal amount, and i think shiloh was born with an already reduced amount of receptors that became even sparser). that's not to say that shiloh doesn't feel fear, but it isn't in the back of her mind in the same way it might be for others. she doesn't look at a flame and think "i shouldn't get too close to that" without actual conscious effort to recall it.

shiloh seeks rather extreme sensations, partially due to a perceived sense of physical ennui, with the other component being a literal sense of ennui. the thing i see in common between her and jessie is a pervasive sense of boredom or dissatisfaction. extremes are more unique. they're less predictable... less boring. i've said it before but i think her relationship with jessie could easily still work out without the god powers due to jessie's erratic emotional states and stupidity - they make her entertaining to shiloh and force her to think in new ways if only to explain a concept she feels is common sense. this is Because shiloh is a person constantly seeking relief from boredom.

she is a super spiritual, but not religious (at least, until god announces herself...) person, and she could probably be described with nietzschean philosophies. she had a hard time believing free will existed prior to The Jessie Event and certainly stopped believing in it after that; it doesn't make sense in a world created by an all-powerful god. shiloh, however, channels this nihilistic take into a strong belief in fate. she may relinquish control in ways other people find absurd because she wants to see her fate. she wants life to have meaning very badly - otherwise, it's all noise... boring, boring noise. actually, i already wrote about this a while ago in my notes. here:

shiloh can frequently be passive because she deliberately refrains from constructing narratives. She wants a meaning told to her by life instead of finding it herself. This lack of an intrinsic narrative makes her particularly receptive to a wide variety of ideas and subtleties, but it also makes her unable or unwilling to definitively shut the book on the relationship with Jessie no matter how many red flags.

aside from that stuff... shiloh is a logic-driven person who seeks and finds patterns easily. novelty often feels meaningful to her because she can quickly categorize interactions, and novel interactions can't be categorized without fabricating a new category. you'll see her in the story notice more about jessie manipulating reality than jessie would prefer even when her memories are altered because she notices discrepancies in patterns that jessie just. does not. as a foil for jessie... shiloh is also kind of a pleasure maximizer, whereas jessie is a pleasure satisficer. if you've never heard of the maximization paradox, it's an interesting topic and very relevant to shiloh in particular: maximizer types will sacrifice more resources into a decision for additional options in order to (potentially) maximize the return on the decision -- however, this type of behavior reduces satisfaction. the more thought and effort you put into a decision, the less satisfying the decision tends to be. (jessie as a satisficer picks primarily from immediately available options based on the most satisfactory result and finds even childish, stupid solutions gratifying as an exercise of power, conversely.)

i've described shiloh as a "this is how it is" person, which can sound like someone who's kind of rolled over on their back and submitted. she's like this whether she's the one dominating or being dominated, though. she's not morally bankrupt like jessie, but she's not the most moral person, either -- especially in terms of choosing to intervene with suffering instead of remaining apathetic. like what happens to her, what happens to others is fate. it's more interesting to see what happens to them than trying to impose a desired meaning onto reality. notably this acceptance of both dominating and being dominated means that, while she prefers to submit and have the powers that be decide, she is willing to exercise her own power, and she enjoys doing so when she does. when i mention things like shiloh seeing taking GOD's virginity as a badge of pride or knowing she's going to be living in jessie's head rent-free forever, the knowledge that shiloh is someone who enjoys having power over others can make it make more sense. it isn't a side of her that gets much attention in the story because she simply can't exercise that much power over someone all-powerful. any act of outsmarting jessie is temporary as she learns. i think i find her to be a uniquely interesting character because while i have to have other characters who ultimately accept jessie's godhood, shiloh is a character who DOES NOT shy away from how fucked up it is. some of the other characters may just hope it turns out well or cope by assuming they're only dreaming, but shiloh is like "this is horrible and it's actually kind of fucking awesome"

i think i talked a lot about her psychology that makes her feelings for jessie sound detached and manipulative, she is just... smitten. in her own way. she is a detached person, but she still has human feelings and investment in an emotional life.

[youraveragecatastrophe]

Rating VILE operatives' codenames in french

(Season 1 edition)

Black sheep = Mouton Noir. Literal translation. It works. Longer and more of a mouthful than Black sheep though. 9/10

Crackle = Crackle, or should I say Craqueul. God does the french accent shine through in those English words, it's embarrassing. Anyway they didn't try very hard but Crackle is nice. Short, sweet, straight to the point. Though it's not a french word, it's close enough to french words and onomatopoeia like crac and craquement to bring to mind electricity with a threatening edge. Deducting a point because it's still not that transparent for french speakers. 9/10

Le Chèvre = La Chèvre. YES YES THEY CORRECTED MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE!!! "Chèvre" is a feminine noun in french, you say "la chèvre" and never "le chèvre", it just doesn't make sense. I am so happy. 100000/10

El Topo = El Topo. You know what they say: if it ain't broke... Also very glad they didn't translate as there are few names in spanish. 10/10

Tigress = Tigresse. Literal translation, which works well bc the two words are very close. The french pronounciation keeps giving me a double take so I'll deduct a point. 9/10

Mime Bomb = le Mime Marteau ("marteau" literally means hammer but it's also a colloquial way of saying "crazy"). Okay I used to think it was fucking stupid but I was just an uncultured swine. It references Marcel Marceau, aka "le Mime Marceau", a french mime and actor. I do prefer Mime Bomb bc it's both funny and gives a subtle air of menace, while to me "marteau" only conveys weirdness, but Mime Marteau is pretty good too. 10/10 for the effort.

Dash Haber = Dash Haber. 0 effort and it's not even a pun in french, for fuck's sake. 2/10

Paperstar = Origamine. There's been an effort, I'll give them that. This is a portemanteau word of "origami" (don't think I need to explain this one) and "gamine" (feminine form of "gamin", french informal word meaning kid). Buuuut... why would Paperstar call herself a kid. Yes, she has a soft singsong voice and does that humming thing, but she doesn't really... make it part of her identity?? She looks young but she doesn't strike me as wanting to be called a kid. 5/10 because i'm still very lukewarm about it.

Cookie Booker = Cathy Compta. Cathy like the name and Compta as the shortened version of "comptabilité", as in "accounting". This is the worst name ever. I love it. It HAS to be the name of a character from an old game or show because they would never have just invented it for the 2019 show. It's cheesy and sounds absolutely terrible and it cracked me up, this is so classic Carmen Sandiego. 9/10

[lady-of-snails]

bae what are ur thoughts on the new bnha chapters and how the ending is looking so far!!! i've been a fan of your fics since the beginning (since "snail has bkdk brainrot" had three parts LOL) and i know you haven't posted fics in a while but would LOVE to here ur interpretation/perspective on the canon events/the trajectory of bkdk's relationship!! i love how you illustrate and characterize their relationship sm and thank u for all the joy you've brought me through ur work the past few years!!

omg an og snail reader hi!! ty for the love <3 and UGH my thoughts about the ending,,, i will put them under the cut to hide spoilers!

honestly? i'm a fan of bkdk's ending!! ik its not the canonization everyone dreamed of but i actually love that there were 0 canon ships by the end :') so often stories feel like shakespeare comedies where absolutely everyone has to get paired up in some way even if that doesn't make sense, and i'm really glad hori didn't do that!! esp with ochako and izuku - I HAVE SO MANY BIG FEELINS ABOUT OCHAKOS ENDING TOO BTW :')) I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I LOVE THAT SHES CARRYING TOGA WITH HER AND ACTUALLY MAKING AN ACTIVE EFFORT TO CHANGE THE WORLD (even though i HATE that toga died and think that shouldn't have happened,,,).

ok, as for bkdk specifically - QUIRKLESS DEKU GETTING TO STILL BE A HERO??? KATSUKI CANONICALLY DEDICATING YEARS OF HIS LIFE AND MONEY TO MAKING DEKU'S "IMPOSSIBLE" DREAMS COME TRUE BC HE CANT STAND THE IDEA OF IZUKU NOT BEING A HERO BY HIS SIDE?? KATSUKI CANONICALLY DREAMING OF BEING A HERO WITH IZUKU FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE?? literally what more could i realistically ask for (except for a final hand holding panel,,, hori pls we were so close </3). in my mind that is canon bkdk they love each other so much they're best friends they get to be heroes together, AND we get to see that deku really CAN be a hero without a quirk :') i loved the bait n switch ending where u think it's just gonna be deku saying "at least i can still inspire people" (which is sweet but a lil cliche) and then NOPE,, ur gay ass boyfriend changed his entire belief system just bc of you <3

the development of katsuki throughout the whole thing just means SO much to me,,, he grew up so much and now hes an ADULT and he's so beautiful :')) and the devotion that he and izuku show each other throughout, whether or not it has any specific labels, means SO much to me too (esp as a person who doesn't always feel comfortable with labels of any kind). the fact that hori emphasized that it was KATSUKI who drove the fundraising efforts, but also that all of class 1-A worked together, is just lsdskldklsd izuku is so so loved :'))

and god. i love ochako so much. her moments in the last chapters were so dear to my heart, watching her break down while trying to hold it in behind a smile was so painful and so izuku-like of her and i was so happy when he came over the hill to comfort her because those two are so similar and they are so best friends and their relationships means SO MUCH TO MEEEE. ik im rambling im just,, full of love for these characters.

and they all love each other so much,,, in so many different ways. and that just really strikes a chord with me <33 and pro hero bkdk and support gear deku are CANON!!! lfg

[niconiconwo]

Fast list for privacy minded people (I lied, it's long):

Change your DNS from the default ISP provisioned one to literally anything else that has decent reputation. CloudFlare is pretty good to bet on, and Firefox has toggles to use it instead of your system DNS. Alternatively if you don't hate Google, they have a DNS that is marginally an improvement from an ISP default but you're certainly being datamined by Big Letters and they are gleefully compliant warrants or not. There are ample public DNS servers out there unlike the next point.

That is fine for general browsing and making it difficult for your ISP to snoop on you, a step further is obfuscating your public IP which makes it difficult for third-parties to track and identify you. VPNs come in here. Free ones ought to be avoided unfortunately in all but the most milquetoast use-cases. Even then they are likely collecting your data so it's best to use a paid service from a well reputed provider that is specifically not based in a 14 Eyes or mandatory logging country. CyberGhostVPN has a lot of literature on this to reference.

Use HTTPS-forcing extensions and avoid HTTP-only websites. This will require all data in transit to be encrypted which makes it impossible for third-parties including your ISP to know exactly what you are doing. Some sites still have HTTP bits on otherwise HTTPS websites, make sure your extension or browser refuses to load these parts without your consent. However be mindful that the server you are talking to obviously will know what data you sent or requested and may or may not store or use it in some way. This info may be available in some privacy statement etc. Assume that your IP, connection details, etc are all logged and act accordingly.

Avoid Tor unless you are especially confident in your understanding. While it isn't 100% confirmed, it's been generally accepted that certain powers have indeed compromised swathes of the Tor network and have the ability to eventually identify you. The naive use of this tool will be more of a hindrance causing false security than it will help you if you are actually needing a list like this.

Likewise, do not assume encryption means anything. Don't buy into anything you don't understand enough to feel confident explaining to someone else. At most, if it isn't a absolute pain in the ass, find a reputable encrypted email provider or learn how to use OpenPGP to encrypt email communications. Side note to OpenPGP, it also is useful as a way to verify your communications are yours and is often used as such in mailing lists or for contributing to open software/validating packages. In a deep fake world this will become more important but isn't quite a privacy matter.

Generally speaking, fancy tools and technologies are worthless if you can't really use them and actually a hindrance to you. If you start with a zero privacy/zero security assumption as default and operate accordingly you'll already be far ahead of the curve with little added complexity or effort. Don't say stupid shit, don't do stupid shit, don't give out stupid shit. Never ever use public or work APs for personal or private browsing, I'd say don't even connect to public wifis at all even. Don't do personal stuff at work either, and try to keep work computers off your private network and personal devices off work networks. Mindset is probably by far more important than any of the other points. Techno neophytes and fetishists will never tell you that most of your privacy and security comes from your brain.

And since it won't let me do it my way.. 0. Security does not mean privacy, nor does privacy mean security. These are two separate goals. This is an important distinction to make.

[badsisterssource]

Am I the only one who thought the second season didn't make much sense?

⚰️ I'm half & half on this one, to be honest, Anon. Definitely thought there were elements that didn't make sense. I mean there were times I thought the Garvey sisters are daft for sure but they're not THAT stupid. I genuinely am curious to know if there were any other ideas for this season other than what was unleashed.

⚰️ As Grace was my second favourite character I feel like I am biased but to me personally, I feel like the point of the show just goes away with her being dead. (& them trying make what Grace did something other than a desperate woman who killed her abusive husband)

⚰️ Nora not even talking to Bibi & taking Angelica’s (someone the Sisters weren’t actually a fan of) word straight away without hearing her wife out? Didn't seem in character for her at all.

⚰️ We could argue panic here but the obvious answer as to why they were all in Wicklow when The Prick died was because it was Grace's birthday & they do it every year. This is never mentioned once.

⚰️ I'm not sure if I could argue that it doesn’t make sense even though for me personally some of the story itself made more sense to me when I read what the actors had to say on the characters but the worst part for me was the whole Ian/Cormac thing. So much of that doesn’t make sense. Was his wife terrified of him? Was she in on it? She came off like she was in on it & that went absolutely nowhere.

⚰️ I get the message, I do & believe me I agree with it, absolutely fuck the police but despite appreciating the acting because Owen McDonnell dialled it from 0 to 100 pretty quick. I thought “Cormac Sweeney” was a lazy villain. I mean & I say this through gritted teeth because the man ruined a version of one of my favourite character of all time & somewhere in my literal degree is a written roast on the man. Claes Bang did a phenomenal job of playing The Prick, I don’t think I have ever hated a character in a piece of media as much as I hated that man, you’ve got to be some kind of actor to play that much of a prick. Although, I have never seen “Clan” (not without effort: I can’t find a dvd) so I can’t say for certain if a lot of it was him copying the original character/actor but The Prick was a insanely well crafted villain, the little here & there comments & the repulsive, vile, disgusting creature that he was at every second he was in the series to the point where I'd feel so uncomfortable I skip some of his scenes on a rewatch. The Ian/Cormac villain felt almost comical in places, the dimensions they tried to give the villain were rushed & felt like “how bad can we make this bloke in the span of half an hour” instead of a well thought out, well paced villain like JPrick was. Honestly props to Owen McDonnell though because I thought he was genuinely good despite the bizarre storyline (I may be biased, I liked him in Killing Eve) Go watch True Detective: Night Country if you want to see him play a well written deranged being!

[lurkiestvoid]

once upon a time I was, in the loosest sense of the term, an art teacher for all ages. I worked at a small local drop-in public paint studio, I ran BYOB/adult painting parties and kids' summer camps and private lessons and birthday parties. I fucking loved that job, only left to start my own on-demand anything delivery business ... and then Postmates/etc happened. I'm not a bit bitter abt it but I digress

Anyways I am so so serious when I say anyone can be an artist. Anyone. Anywhere.

There are SO. MANY. different ways to create. "Art" covers SO much! And literally no one is born knowing how to do photorealism. Everyone starts at 0, just a different points in their lives. Any piece you put time and effort and care into, any piece you put any intention into, even the simplest of mindless doodles, is practice and learning and experimentation and new and unique and so very you. It all has worth. It is all a part of your growth and journey as an artist.

The Most Important Indicator you are This Kind Of Artist is fun. That's it, that's the entire secret.

If you aren't having fun with it, if you aren't craving to get back into it and get your hands in it and pull it into your soul a little bit, pour a little of your soul back into it, if the world doesn't fall away and time doesn't cease to exist when you're letting your heart lead you through it, it's just not the Medium For You. And that's okay!

Maybe you just can't get the hang of charcoal, but you LOVE smearing around pastels. Or vice versa! Maybe you're not really into drawing People, and you'd rather depict sunsets or landscapes or still life or even play around in the abstract.

Maybe you're not a 2D artist at all, but you love the concept of Form, of playing with shapes, using your hands and Space; maybe you like clay, or plaster, or wood. Maybe you like recycling found materials and fabrics into whimsical shapes. Maybe you like textiles and textures, and comfort, and you might like sewing, or knitting or crochet or latchhook or cross-stitch.

Maybe you're not a visual artist. Maybe you like reading, and writing, maybe poetry, maybe songs. Maybe you're really into music, and might want to dabble in sound mixing, or the flute or the drums. Maybe you like moving your body, and you're into dance, or maybe you like empathizing with characters and acting them out.

It is wonderful to be inspired by visual art or any art at all! That doesn't mean you necessarily have to Create in that same way, but it also doesn't mean you have to expect that same skill of yourself!! There's no such thing as "bad/unskilled" when it comes to art, really; it's just New. It's Beginning. It's Amateur in the honorable way.

And every "bad" piece is one step towards a future of some really awesome stuff.

[ceilingfan5]

2 8 27 29!!

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go? ........................listen. listen.

sssorta? grimaces loudly. it depends on the fic. some have a semi-decent outline. the one i am currently rotating (supers au) has an outline that is. maybe not USELESS but almost entirely unhelpful with regards to, uh, organization, or, foresight, or, connecting point l to m to n to o...... i sort of threw some shit at the wall, then came back and threw entirely different shit at the wall, played pretend with other shit entirely, got distracted, took a long break to return to a different other fic with a WORSE outline (youtube au, which, to make matters worse, is the FIFTH iteration of this idea and was started in 2 0 2 0. i need you to understand i have a degree in teaching with a [minor] in english and i was a writing tutor for years and i am fully capable of a good and proper outline and yet every goddamn time i open a new document it is a CRAP SHOOT to see if i USE THESE CAREFULLY PRACTICED SKILLS to help LITERALLY ONLY MYSELF-

sometimes this outline is so counterproductive i get mad and Don't write bc past me was so unhelpful.

BUT on the flippy dip: i really enjoy kind of. discovering the fic As I Write It. Like, it is as much of a discovery to me how the events pan out as anyone else. and it's so fun, it's a game of pretend with myself. im digging for gold and shit there sure is a lot of dirt and maybe i could have brought or different more tools but i found a garnet and a sapphire and a fossil of a fishie. and also my keys, which i do not remember dropping, and there's something big here, i swear, but i gotta keep going to find out if it's a dinosaur or what this also means i write almost entirely chronologically, because i don't actually know the finer details of things until they come out, and that makes it hard to rearrange bits done out of time?

breaking news: fool gets away with behavior yet again, no change expected. more at ten good thing it's a hobby. don't even get me started on how i name documents. good lord

8. Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story? truly my favorite part of a fic is livin in it, i love discussing it to pieces with my Friends and daydreaming and playing in the sand and thinking up side bits that may not ever come into play but sure do make the world feel lived in and that rules, that's the best. there is so much, of every fic i have ever written, that i was orbiting around my head, and you may never know, but you feel it in the pulse of the thing 27. What is your most and least favorite part of writing? aaaaauhhhhhhhhhh uh. i love locking into the flow and the wild nonsense and deeep feelings just happening out of my fingers. i love yapping about my ideas and i love when people give me reactions to the words i did and the order i did them in, especially line by line live reactions? there's esp this phenomenon i see where the reader will be picking lines here and there and then Get So Absorbed that they end up at the finish line all disoriented and delighted and have to tell me and I love it. hard parts: starting, especially after a long time. giving myself grace to see if something is shit garbage or im just moody/hungry/need to sleep on it. the moment-hours after posting and fuckin' waiting for the acknowledgement of my efforts, we all know. man. but maybe the worst bit is when you ARE in the flow and do have so many ideas and it's great and THEN you look at the time and it's fucking after your bedtime and you, an adult, employed, must extricate yourself from the ecstasy of fiction and do chores like dental care, and getting in bed and not doing math about your alarms. 29. What’s your revision or editing process like? man i used to have a beta yeeeears ago, but between like. ships passing in the night and all. + the realization that this is a fan thing i am doing for funsies. and like. the passability that comes with crazy amounts of experience and practice. the knowledge that i am not going to be Published and if i reread and see a typo, i can pretend i didn't, or edit it anyway. the forgiveness of mainly doing it for myself.... it doesn't get a lot of strenuous review. probably the most editing happens, once im happy with the order of events, and so on, when i am pasting my goddamn document into ao3, and because i use google docs and want my stupid rich text, i go line by line and reread to keep myself entertained while deleting extra paragraph breaks. which i believe there is a fix for but ironically that is in fact a good way to catch bullshit in the eleventh hour. i do have a few readers, give or take my most devoted minions, who will catch like, major sense making issues, but also do not actually give a shit if i fumbled a word or spelled stupid + are mostly along for the ride playing pretend with me

hopefully this wasn't too honest and you are instead bolstered by the fact that i am just. playing here cause it's fun, it's all made up and the points don't matter. let's go have fun