#I mean when wouldn't it apply honestly haha

[sysig]

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[harunayuuka2060]

Twst Unveil Event Part 4

Philomela: Go change with these. *tosses some clothes to Silver, Floyd, Yuurin, Rook, and Sebek*

Sebek, Silver, and Floyd: *ended falling on their backs*

Floyd: *laughing*

Philomela: Whoops. I forgot that you were just teeny-tiny creatures.

Rook: *has grabbed onto Yuurin so he wouldn't fall because of the impact*

Yuurin: ...

Yuurin: The clothes weren't heavy.

Rook: *chuckles* Non. But it was the way she tossed them to us.

Yuurin: Oh.

Philomela: After you're done, Rook, Silver, Sebek, and Floyd, you'll be coming with me to discuss your preferred setup for the wrestling match.

Silver: Huh?

Sebek: Preferred setup?

Floyd: I heard from Jade that you've got some cool tech here~. Is it one of them~?

Philomela: YOU BET IT IS! *laughs*

Yuurin: ...

Yuurin: I'll be chatting with the others while you do that.

Epel: Damn... We're seeing those abs again, Yuurin!

Yuurin: Hm.

Malleus: However, it appears ordinary in comparison to the others.

Yuurin: In ancient times, wrestlers from the Kingdom of Heroes used to fight naked.

Yuurin: With these clothes, this is the closest thing to that.

Malleus and Epel: O-Oh...

Yuurin: Oh. And it's also to ensure no cheating would happen.

Jade: Though, isn't it unfair to you?

Yuurin: ?

Jade: What I mean is, are you not afraid that others will cheat?

Yuurin: Would they?

Malleus: Sebek and Silver won't ever do that.

Epel: Yeah! Rook-senpai too! He's all about playing fair!

Jade: ...

Jade: *chuckles* I guess Floyd will try.

Jade: If he feels like it.

Malleus and Epel: ...

Ruggie: They sure taking their sweet time, huh?

Jack: Yuurin, why do they get to discuss their preferred setup while you're here, talking with us?

Yuurin: I'm guessing that I'll be fighting all of them.

Yuurin: That is, if I keep on winning.

Ruggie: Hmm. So in short, it's to make things difficult for you.

Yuurin: *nods*

Jack: ...

Jack: By the way, Ruggie-senpai, I noticed you were not answering Leona-senpai's calls.

Ruggie: I'll just video call him when the match starts.

Jack: ...

Ruggie: Don't worry. I know what I'm putting myself into.

Yuurin: What do you mean by that, Ruggie-senpai?

Ruggie: Oh, it's nothing.

Philomela: Here are the rules: You've got 30 minutes to beat your opponent! You win if you knock them out, they admit defeat, or time runs out!

Philomela: Do you understand?

Yuurin and the others: Yes.

Philomela: Great! Now let this match begin!

Philomela: Yuurin and Sebek! I'll be sending you now to the designated place!

Floyd: Good luck, damselfish~ Don't lose to Crocodile, okay~?

Silver: Do your best, Sebek. And you too, Yuurin.

Sebek: Hmph!

Rook: Monsieur Tranquille! Monsieur Crocodile! I'll be cheering on you two!

Yuurin: *gives them a nod*

Sebek: *smirks* I'll make this easy for you, Yuurin.

Epel, Malleus, Jack, Jade, and Ruggie: ...

Ruggie: THAT'S A FREAKING CLIFF!

Philomela: Haha! Yes!

Epel: O-Oh, I get it. It's for the scenery.

Philomela: No. It isn't.

Epel: *horrified expression*

Jade: There are spikes beneath the cliff, so if you fall...

Philomela: Those are just decorations, but if you did fall, you'd meet the pavement.

Jack: That feels reassuring...

Epel: Don't force yourself, Jack...

Sebek: If you choose to give up now, I won't hold it against you. *smirking*

Yuurin: ...

Yuurin: *tilts her head in a relaxed manner*

Yuurin: Sebek, it seems you didn't think this through.

Sebek: Huh? What are you trying to say, human?

Yuurin: ...

Yuurin: *feints a punch*

Sebek: !!!

Sebek: What the— What's wrong with you?!

Yuurin: *feints another punch*

Sebek: !!!

Yuurin: ...

Sebek: ...

Sebek: STOP TOYING WITH ME, HUMAN!

Yuurin: ...

Epel: I could feel Yuurin's urge to do a facepalm right now.

Jade: Honestly speaking, Sebek Zigvolt chose a great place.

Philomela: He could use it on his advantage.

Philomela: Only if he had understood its purpose.

Sebek: *has found the opportunity to apply a triangle choke on Yuurin*

Sebek: What can you say now, human?!

Yuurin: ...

Yuurin: Not bad.

Sebek: N-Not bad? NOT BAD?!!

Sebek: YOU ARE AT MY MERCY!

Yuurin: ...

Yuurin: *straightens her posture, pushing her shoulders back to create space, then begins to lift Sebek off the ground*

Sebek: Huh? HUH?

Yuurin: *once her trapped arm is free and she secures a stable position, she begins to transition into an armbar submission hold*

Sebek: This is... not enough... to defeat me...

Yuurin: Then escape. *tightens her grip*

Sebek: AHH!!! YOU BASTARD!!!

Malleus: *ended up laughing*

Epel: No— Malleus-senpai— *wheezes*

Ruggie: Shishishi... This is so good. *while recording the match*

Jack: ...

Jack: One question. Is this being broadcasted right now?

Philomela: Why, yes. The whole Kingdom of Heroes and the other schools who joined us are watching.

Jade: Oh, look, Yuurin has let go of Sebek.

Jack: But he hasn't tapped out—

*Yuurin started to carry Sebek and walked to the edge of the cliff*

Jack and Ruggie: ...

Epel: He's not going to do what I think he would... Is he?

*Yuurin jumped off the edge of the cliff with Sebek.*

Jade: He did.

Philomela: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH! YUURIN!!!!

Sebek: *after he received treatment*

Yuurin: ...

Sebek: I will get back at you. Remember that.

Yuurin: ...

Yuurin: *starts tapping his back*

Sebek: DON'T CONSOLE ME!

Yuurin: You need it.

Sebek: YES! BUT NOT FROM YOU!

[claryshifts]

Making American Horror Story DRs "Safe"

I'll update this with each season I watch! Most of this will focus on one of the "Evans" bc I know a lot of yall horny bastards wanna hop on him (real) Each section will have an "ultra safe" paragraph and a "safe as possible?" paragraph. idk -Murder House: Option One: The house isn't possessed or whatever you want to call it. Hell, you don't even have to live in it. Though Tate has problems with his mom (that adds a lot to his character, so I'd still 'keep that'), he's never had terrible thoughts of doing what he did at that school or any other gross things. I personally would still 'script out' the self-harm. Wouldn't want my partner to suffer that Option Two: If you still want that ghostly experience, then sure, by all means, live in the haunted house. but maybe cut out the satan part... Also script the ghosts don't have shitty timing (they don't bother you in the bathroom or when you're sleeping, for ex). If you want Tate as a ghost and not alive, still, don't date a ghost mass yknow what  😭  😭  BONUS: instead of tate, date violet 🥰🥰 -Asylum: Option One: You can live a nice quiet life with Kit. it's the 60s though, so if you're fem/poc/lgbt/etc, keep that in mind. whenever I go to a reality in the past I script I don't get bored without technology lol Option Two: have fun at the asylum, ig, boo. If you want some edgy lore, pls don't script you're a psycho killer or something omg 😭. Script none of the people in charge inflect punishments on you. If you really wanna get freaky in that musty place, script you don't get caught... and that its not all musty... -Coven: I got a lot to say bc I think Imma make a script for this too haha Option One: no scary demon devils or whatever. Uh, Kyle isn't treated like a sex object???? Nothing bad happens to Nan (she deserves better). If Kyle has to die (that sounds so weird to say) for your lore or whatever, don't purposely give him a traumatizing experience. this isn't a fan fic,, that's your REALITY. Honestly you could just script you're a silly little witch hanging out in New Orleans and call it a day. Madison isn't annoying af. No Axe Man. LaLaurie being Queenie's "slave" was deserved but maybe just script her 'out' altogether... Option Two: Okay, so you want the drama. Have the drama! Still no demon devils though cuz that does NOT sound fun. Script you and the people you care about are all safe from harm. If Kyle HAS to go through that terrible experience (I'm his biggest defender as you can tell), at least keep Madison and Zoe away or at bay bc seeing them fight over a guy who can't even say "food" and OBVIOUSLY can't verbally consent was so uncomfy, for me at least. -Freak Show: Option One: no scary clowns. The "freaks" aren't treated like shit. Neal Patrick Harris doesn't show up with his puppet??? No one is trying to make money off of the freaks. None of them are murdered or harmed. Option Two: Ig if you still want the plot they still have to be treated pretty shitty. Still would apply everything else though, as well as the fact nothing happens to you.

-Hotel: Option One: Ok look James March. Wonderful man. Make him NOT a serial killer omg. If you get with him I'm convinced a relationship with him would be straight up Morticia and Gomez uishfuihfjsf I want him so bad. Anyway, if he's your man keep the countess off your back, if you keep her there at all. I wouldn't recommend making yourself a ghost bc idk WTFFF that would mean for you spiritually. You could be sexy March's sexy human partner. Or the countess' partner. Anyone's partner. but alive. Um no 10 commandment killings of any sort, and no vampire children???

Option Two: ngl idk how else to put this?? idk if there should be an option 2 ;-;

Currently on Roanoke! this season is so boring I might not write anything for it

[genericpuff]

Hii hope im not bothering you but i saw that post you made about rs never intending for the rape subplot because she initially didn't put a trigger warning. I don't really agree with that reasoning tho because i don't think it's really a proof for that, authors often times forget to put triggers but that doesn't mean they don't recognize it for what it was. There's a horror webtoon i read where in one chapter someone gets assaulted and it's clearly shown like assault but the first version also never had a tw until people complained about it. Years ago when LO began there was less awareness for the necessity of tws so i think it was just rs not realizing she needed to put one? ofc it could rlly be retcon but i don't think her not initially putting a tw is proof of that..

Oh okay, so here's the thing, if it were just Rachel forgetting to put the trigger warning, then no, I wouldn't be so hard on her about it. I mean, I'd still be hard on her because that's a pretty bad thing to forget to do, but I wouldn't be assuming it was because she didn't know it was assault.

But it wasn't her just "forgetting" to put the trigger warning. Granted, I wasn't there personally, but according to the readers who were there at the time, she literally had her Discord explain to her why there needed to be a trigger warning for the assault episode. Not "there needs to be a trigger warning for the sake of your audience's comfort and safety" type explanation, I mean full on "there needs to be a trigger warning because that scene is assault, not just bad sex" explanation.

And honestly, the narrative that follows that scene tends to support this. From Persephone inviting Apollo into her room to try and reason with him, to the fact that she still hasn't personally addressed the assault outside of that initial Eros conversation and the one therapy episode despite that scene happening 5 years ago (but god knows we get plenty of takes from her friends who feel affected by what Apollo did, not the actual victim though) to Apollo flip-flopping between being a genuinely abusive and manipulative narcissist who does it intentionally and a flat out airheaded idiot who just doesn't have a clue. It really just feels like despite Rachel confirming it as an SA in the Eros episode back in S1, she's still treating it as a "one night stand gone sour" situation.

And we've seen her apply this same type of flippant "haha they just don't get along!" mindset to other characters who have been abusive to each other, such as Hades and Demeter (I'm still looking for the screenshot but there IS one out there of a fan in the FB group who theorized that Hades and Demeter had a romantic past only for Rachel to respond that they're "like coworkers at the staff party who can't get along", and yes, this was recent enough for us to be aware of what Hades actually did to Demeter) and also Hades and Minthe who we DO have a screenshot for:

(that top one aged like milk, oof)

Rachel has a bad habit of not putting trigger warnings even today, and it doesn't seem to be out of simple "forgetting", she legit just doesn't seem to understand why people ask for the trigger warnings that they do in the first place. She can't seem to conceptualize these types of topics outside of her own extremely limited perceptions. Sometimes she fixes it like with the Demeter "intervention" episode (Episode 230) other times she just leaves it as is despite it DESPERATELY needing a trigger warning like the Hera and Kronos flashback sequence in Episode 233.

This is the same person who didn't think sexism was "that bad" until she saw how her audience treated characters like Demeter... but she's literally the one instigating that behavior by constantly making her female characters the butt of abuse and mockery.

"I feel like female characters in general, people will be a little harsher on them and sometimes way harsher on them, and I used to be like.. before I started writing the story and like making a story I was like yeah, sexism is not that bad, and [now] I was like oh it's bad. It's quite bad [laughs], so like, I don't know, I feel like the female characters in the story don't get so much of a pass. But this isn't consistent across the board, it's not all the time"

It wouldn't be right of me to outright say that Rachel hasn't experienced any hardship in her life, but the fact that she seems this blind to violence towards women in any capacity definitely says a lot.

Anyways, that got really off topic so I'm hoping that answered your question. My belief in Rachel not knowing it was assault goes a lot further than just a forgotten trigger warning amounting to a brief "oopsie". And while I get the point of what you're saying about awareness around trigger warnings, I disagree that the awareness wasn't there, this was 2018 and trigger warnings aren't a new concept in media, they just went by another name until recently - viewer discretion is advised.

That said, if anyone who was there wants to speak up on the trigger warning incident, please, I'd welcome it. Bring me all the deets.

[munson-blurbs]

Hey Bug! I have a request for a fic just in case you run out of ideas

Eddie gets bullied by Jason and those annoying basketball jerks all th time but doesn't tell anyone. When he sees them at the Hideout before he's about to perform he has a panic attack or something. Y/N is there because she still hasn't gotten over him. :D

Then backstage Y/N comfort's him

exes back to lovers

hurt/comfort

This might be way too specific but...........

;)

K bye

Combining with these two requests!

hello i love your blog so much and you're really one of the best writers here! <3 i'm honestly a slut for the enemies to lovers trope sksksks so i was hoping you could write one for eddie? then maybe sprinkled with a lil bit of jealousy haha thank you so much and ily <333

May i plz request an exes back to lovers with eddie x y/n? Maybe he cheated or something?

Warnings: smut (18+ only minors DNI!!!), fingering, p in v, panic attacks, mentions of cheating, mentions of oral, Jason Carver is present

WC: 3.9k

Thank you @firefly-graphics for the amazing dividers and @usedtobecooler, @trashmouth-richie, and @this-was-bad-sorry for dialogue help!

--

Reader:

"Babe, where are you taking me?" you ask your boyfriend, snuggling up against him as he just grins and continues driving.

"You'll see," Jason answers teasingly. "I told you that we'll be doing a full 'Welcome Home' tour of Hawkins when you got back from college, and that's what we're gonna do."

Since you'd been home for the summer, he'd brought you to Benny's, Enzo's, Skull Rock, and Lover's Lake. Hawkins is a small town; there wasn't much else to do around here.

You and Jason had been together for six months after you ran into him when you came home for Thanksgiving. You'd bumped into each other at the grocery store, frantically scrambling to buy last-minute ingredients. It was hard to see him; he wasn't nice to you or your friends back in high school. But then he'd apologized, offered to take you out for coffee to show you how much he'd changed, and the rest was history.

Your stomach drops when he pulls into the Hideout parking lot. It brings back memories of watching your ex-boyfriend and his band play there. You and Eddie would fool around backstage until it was time for them to perform, and you would stand in the audience of five drunks and cheer like you were at a Metallica concert. It was a tradition, every Tuesday night.

Wait...

"What day is it?" you mutter to yourself, but Jason thinks you're asking him.

"It's Tuesday," he answers, blissfully unaware of what that means. "Why, you got plans?" he jokes.

You can just manage to shake your head, palms suddenly slick with sweat. Maybe Corroded Coffin didn't play on Tuesday nights anymore. Maybe you wouldn't have to see the man who shattered your heart into a million pieces.

Eddie:

"We're on in twenty minutes," Jeff tells him, slinging the strap of his guitar over his shoulders. "You all tuned up?"

Eddie nods. "Yup, good to go." He glances at his kohl-rimmed eyes in the mirror. Since you two had broken up, he's had to learn how to apply his own eyeliner before shows, but it never looks as good as when you used to do it.

"Uh, guys?" Gareth pokes his head in the room nervously. "I think you might wanna see this."

They make their way to the side of the stage, peering out as inconspicuously as they can. Gareth points out to where Jason is standing at the bar with his tanned arm around some girl.

No...not just some girl, Eddie realizes. It's you.

"What the fuck?" he snarls, heart catching in his throat. "What's she doing with him?" He winces as Jason hands you a watered-down beer and kisses you, making you giggle.

Jeff claps a hand on his friend's back. "I'm sorry, dude," he says gently. "You gonna be okay?"

But Eddie doesn't hear him; doesn't hear anything besides a pounding in his ears. He feels like he's standing outside of his own body. His bandmates keep calling his name to no response.

She's with Jason now. She's done with me and moved onto the prick who made my life miserable for all of high school. I lost her and I'll never get her back. It's over it's over it's over...

"Eddie?" Gareth shakes him, too aware of the way his friend's chest is expanding and contracting at a rapid rate. This isn't the first time Eddie's had a panic attack, but it's the first time you haven't been there to calm him down. "What do we do?" he asks Jeff.

"I-I don't know!" Jeff cries out. "What did Y/N used to do?" He glances over in your direction. "Should I...would she even want to help after...?"

Gareth shrugs. "It's worth a shot!" he surmises, nudging Eddie again. "He's gonna hyperventilate." Tears involuntarily spill down Eddie's cheeks as he murmurs the same phrase again and again:

It's over it's over it's over...

Reader:

You're waiting for Jason to come back with a plate of fries, possibly the greasiest offering in all of Hawkins, when you feel a frantic tapping on your back. Your smile fades when you see Gareth in front of you, panting like he's just run a marathon.

"What do you want?" you hiss, remembering his role in everything that went down last year.

"Look," he starts, "I know you hate me, and you hate Eddie more, but he's having a panic attack backstage and we can't calm him down. I'm worried that he's gonna pass out. Please," he begs, not even bothering to finish his request. You know exactly what he's asking.

There's a knot in your stomach, twisting with your options. You could ditch Jason and help out the guy who cheated on you at your own graduation party, or you can let Eddie suffer and enjoy a night out with your boyfriend. You don't want to see Eddie; the words fuck off are on the tip of your tongue, but you can't help the gnawing feeling pulsing through your conscience.

"Fine," you mutter, and Gareth grabs your wrist and pulls you backstage. Jeff's gotten Eddie to sit on the torn leather sofa, but the man is still breathing too heavily for your liking. His eyes are glazed over, like he's not actually present. It's a sight you've seen before.

"Eddie, it's me," you say softly, trying to keep the resentment out of your voice. "We're backstage at the Hideout, sitting on the couch. Jeff and Gareth are here, too. Ground yourself here." Against your better judgment, you slip your hand under his trembling one. "Squeeze my hand when you're ready." About thirty seconds pass before you feel his fingers grip yours.

"Okay, we're gonna do your exercise together," you tell him. "Five things you see; I'll start." You pick the first thing your eyes land on. "A chair."

Eddie pauses before he gives his answer, voice barely audible. "Th-the coaster," he says finally, referring to the sticky Bud Light coaster on the table.

"Good," you offer a small smile. "I see...Sweetheart," you announce, referring to his guitar.

"Gareth and Jeff." Eddie replies just a bit faster this time, allowing himself back into reality.

"That was two, you overachiever!" you tease. You walk him through the remainder of the exercise: four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. By the time you're done, his breathing has slowed considerably and he's stopped crying.

You turn to his friends, both visibly relieved that the situation has been diffused. "I don't think he should perform tonight, guys," you tell them. "He needs to go home and rest. The adrenaline of being on stage could trigger another one." They nod knowingly, and you stand up to leave.

"Where're y'going?" Eddie mumbles, reaching out for your hand. "Can you stay for a little bit?"

"I, um, have to get back to my date," you tell him, purposely omitting Jason's name. "You'll be okay. Just take care of yourself tonight." You rub his back quickly, almost out of habit. "Gotta go," you add quickly before dashing back out to the bar.

Part of you feels guilty for running out of there, but why should you? You weren't the one who hooked up with Ashley Calloway at the party; that was Eddie. You were too busy trying to make sure everyone was enjoying themselves; Eddie sure was when you found the two of them in the guest bathroom, pants around his ankles and Ashley on her knees in front of him. They were both beyond drunk; you didn't know who initiated, but you really didn't care.

No, you didn't owe Eddie anything. Helping him through his panic attack was nicer than anything he deserved.

"Where'd ya go?" Jason asks, concerned. He pulls you in for a kiss, and it seems more possessive than usual.

"Ladies' room," you lie easily. "Hope you didn't eat all the fries without me!"

He laughs. "Don't worry, I saved a few for my girl." He tugs you closer, eyes scoping out the rest of the bar. "Forgot how grimy this place is," he mutters. "Wanna get out of here after we finish these?" he asks, gesturing towards the plate on the counter.

You nod. "That would be great."

Eddie:

Eddie's sitting in the back of his van; Jeff is driving and Gareth is plunked down in the passenger seat.

"Sorry, guys," he apologizes for what seems like the millionth time. "I don't know what happened back there."

Gareth exhales slowly. "We're just glad you're okay," he says truthfully, "but, dude, you can't be getting this upset whenever you see Y/N with someone else."

"Yeah, I know," Eddie agrees. "But Jason Carver? What does she even see in him?" He groans and leans back in his seat.

Jeff thinks for a moment. "Have you two actually...talked since the party?" he asks. "I know there was a lot of yelling and screaming, but did you ever have a real conversation?"

"Nope." Eddie replies. "She wanted nothing to do with me, and I don't blame her. I fucked up royally." No one can argue with that.

"Maybe you should try that," Jeff suggests. "Like, listen to her, and don't give some shitty excuse for what you did."

Eddie considers this. "What if she doesn't forgive me? What if she still hates me after?" he ponders meekly. "Then what?"

"Then at least you tried," Gareth reasons. "Is it more important that she forgives you, or that she just knows how important she was to you?"

Reader:

The drive home from the Hideout should be passed by peppering kisses to Jason's clean-shaven face while he drives and lacing your fingers into his when he rests his hand on the gearshift. Instead, you're in your own world; a world where you can't stop thinking about Eddie Munson.

It was so stupid, especially after how badly he'd hurt you. You'd heard the unmistakeable sounds of his panting moans coming from the bathroom, and when Jeff and Gareth tried to stop you from investigating, you knew something was amiss. You'd shouted at him until your throat was raw, and then you shouted some more at his friends for protecting the cheating bastard. It was the last time you'd spoken to any of them until tonight.

You look over at your boyfriend, so sweet and wonderful, and you ache to love him fully, to commit to him with your whole being. But you just can't. Because your heart still belongs to the metalhead who broke it.

"Jason," you blurt out before you can stop yourself, "I have to tell you something." And you tell him the truth of where you disappeared to that night, watching his expression fall with each word.

When you finish, he laughs incredulously. "You skipped out on our date to go comfort The Freak?" he spits, and you see the old Jason, the one he insisted no longer existed, ooze through his nice-guy persona. "Seriously? After everything he did to you."

"It's not like anything happened!" you protest. "Besides, you were a total douchebag in high school, and I forgave you."

Jason pauses. "And what if something had happened?" he questions, voice thick with venom and insecurity. "What if he had tried to kiss you or something? Would you have let him?"

You stumble on your response, and that's enough of an answer for him. "Nice. Real nice," he sneers. "Do you even love me?"

"I wish I did," you whisper, tears in your eyes. "Jason, I'm so sorry."

He sighs, slamming a hand on the steering wheel. "Forget it. I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved. All of you weirdos in that satanic cult Munson ran were bad news." He slams on the breaks as he pulls into your driveway. "Look at that. There's Freak Charming now." Sure enough, Eddie is sitting on your stoop, smoking a cigarette in the crisp summer evening air.

"I swear, I didn't--" but Jason just waves you off.

"We're done. Do whatever--or whoever--you want, Y/N," he says tersely, and you hop out of his car wordlessly, watching as he speeds away.

You turn your attention to Eddie, who is making his way towards you.

"What are you doing here?"

Eddie:

Well, isn't that a loaded question.

Eddie runs his fingers through his curly hair. "I, um, came here to listen to you," he stammers, avoiding your gaze.

"Listen to me? What do you want me to say?" The thought is almost absurd; him showing up to your house, expecting you to carry a conversation.

"Anything," he takes a drag, exhaling a cloud of smoke. "We never got to talk after the party. I didn't really apologize, and I didn't get to hear you out."

You laugh harshly. "I think I got my point across when I called you a cheating piece of shit and our relationship a waste of my time. Why, did I miss something?"

"No, I think that about covers it," Eddie says with a frown.

"Why did you do it?" you blurt out. "Was I not enough? Or too much? What did I do wrong?" Your voice wavers, a sob catching in your throat.

"Oh my God, no," Eddie replies, slack-jawed. "No, it was nothing like that. It was my fault, not yours." He sighs, looking upwards to will his own tears away. "I was drunk and stupid and scared."

"Scared?"

"Yeah," he says, "scared that you'd realize that I wasn't enough; that you'd want someone who's getting a college degree like you are, who isn't back in Hawkins working at a power plant and playing in a band with a bunch of high schoolers."

You kick the ground lightly, dust pluming around your sneakered foot. "I was gonna ask you to get an apartment in Evanston with me," you admit. "I would be at Northwestern and you could easily find work there. Plus, it's only about half an hour from Chicago." Your heart pangs at the thought of what might have been.

"Y-you were?" Eddie's eyes widen in shock. "Fuck, man!" He stubs out his cigarette angrily. "Can't believe I went and fucked it all up like that." Before he realizes what he's doing, he slams a fist into a nearby tree, wincing as the pain shoots up his arm.

"Of course I was!" you shout. "I thought you were the love of my life, Eddie. I thought we'd move in together, get married someday, have our own family." You let the tears fall, unable to hold yourself together. "And then you decided that getting blown by some random cheerleader was more important than all of that."

He's silent for awhile, and it's not until you hear him sniffling that he realizes he's crying.

"You can leave now," you tell him quietly. "There's nothing left to say."

He nods. "I'm so, so sorry," he sobs. "I hurt you. You didn't deserve that; you didn't deserve to suffer because I was insecure. I'd...I'd do anything to get you back."

"I don't think that's a good idea," you answer him, crossing your arms over your chest.

"I know you're with Carver now--"

"We broke up," you see his eyebrows shoot up, and you elaborate, "just now. He didn't like that I was helping you tonight."

"Oh," Eddie says simply, trying to bite back a smile at the news that you're single. "Can I ask you something?"

"Depends what it is."

"Why did you help me? You could've just told the guys to deal with it themselves, you know." He tries to resist the urge to light up another cigarette and fails, feeling the nicotine calm his nerves.

You roll your eyes and scoff. "Because as much as I hate you--and I do hate you, very much--I wasn't about to let you faint over some stage fright."

Eddie chews on his lower lip. "Wasn't stage fright."

"What?"

"It wasn't stage fright," he repeats. "I had a panic attack because I saw you with Carver--not that it was your fault," he hastily adds, "it just fuckin' killed me to know that you were over me. That we were over. Because I-I never stopped loving you."

Reader:

You let the confession sink in: Eddie never stopped loving you. Or so he says, but the image of him with Ashley never fades.

"Did you still love me at the party?" you sneer. "Did you still love me with her mouth around your dick?"

"Of course I did!" he retorts, "I just...look, there's no excuse for what I did. I got it in my head that you'd leave me and I...I acted vindictively. But you've got to believe me--I've regretted it every day since."

You sit on the steps, feeling like you're about to fall over from the adrenaline coursing through your veins. "And you know what the worst part is?" you hiss. "Earlier, when you said you wanted me back, I actually considered it. I hate myself for it, but I considered it."

"Do you...still love me?" he asks quietly.

"I do," you confess. "I don't want to, but I do. I love you and despise you at the same time, if that makes any sense."

"What...what can I do to earn your trust back, Y/N?" he murmurs. "I'll do it; whatever you ask, I'll do it. I don't want to mess this up again. I don't want to risk losing your love for good." He looks up at you, tears shining in his big brown eyes. "Please, baby."

"Eddie, I don't know--" you start, but he interrupts you.

"Can I just do one thing?" No sooner do you nod your head do his lips come crashing against yours, his hands on either side of your face. You arch into him, pressing up on your toes.

"Was that okay?" he whispers against you, brushing away your tears with his thumb. "God, baby, it eats me up inside to know that I'm the reason you're crying. I never wanted to be that."

"I know," you tell him, falling into his warm embrace. "Want you to make me feel happy again. Like you used to."

He looks taken aback at your proposition. "Y'sure? We can just do this," he reassures you as he pulls you in for another deep kiss.

"'M sure." You gasp as he lifts you, placing one hand under each of your thighs. You wrap your legs around his waist as he kisses down your arms, sending a tingling sensation through your body. "Show me how much you love me."

Eddie swings open your front door, pushing you up against the living room wall so he can put his hands all over you. "Are your parents--"

"They're out," you tell him. "We have the place to ourselves."

"Fuck," he growls. "Bedroom?"

"Mhm."

Eddie stumbles into your room, holding onto you as though he's afraid that you'll disappear if he lets you go. He gently lays you on the bed, climbing on top of you, parting your lips with his tongue.

"You're so beautiful," he muses. "You are the most perfect woman I've ever seen. These perfect eyes...perfect nose...perfect mouth...perfect ears..." He punctuates each statement with a kiss, naming every body part he can think of.

"My turn," you say, sitting up slightly. He furrows his brows, puzzled, until you start peeling off his shirt and kissing down his torso. He shivers as you reach for his belt buckle, clasping his hand over yours.

"We don't have to rush this," he stammers. "I don't want you to regret anything."

"Do you not want to?" you ask. It's not an accusation, just concern.

"I do. I definitely do," Eddie clarifies. "I just want to do this right, y'know? Don't want this to be a one-time thing."

"Eddie?"

"Mm?"

"Stop talking."

He lets out a small chuckle. "Will do, my love." Pressing another gentle kiss to your forehead, he lifts your shirt above your head and rubs his thumbs over the lace of your bra. Your nipples pebble under his touch.

"Eddie." His name drips with need from your lips. "Keep touching me." He unclasps your bra, inhaling sharply as it falls to the bed, revealing your pert breasts.

"S'perfect," he coos, taking one into his mouth. He presses his groin against your thigh, rutting against you softly. A moan slips from you as feel him growing harder.

"Wan' touch you," you whimper, nudging again at his belt. "Please."

"Okay, baby," he indulges, groaning as you take him out of his boxers, using his precum to help your hand glide along his length. "I missed your touch." He trains his focus on your own jean shorts, fighting his feral urge to rip them off of you, instead opting to leave kisses across your hips and thighs as he pulls them down gently. Pressing his forefinger against your throbbing clit, he smiles when he feels you soaking through your panties.

"Did you miss that, too?" you tease, but he's completely serious in his reply:

"I missed everything about you."

Your gaze meets his, and you immediately take note of his misty eyes. You melt at his words, at how genuine he is; the raw vulnerability making him even more beautiful. He leans in for another kiss, and his tears fall against your cheeks.

"I love you I love you I love you," he whispers into your ear, tugging down your panties and sliding one thick finger inside you, pumping it against your pulpy walls. "I'll never lose you again, never never never..."

"I know," you tell him, and you mean it. You cry out with pleasure as he inserts another digit, bucking your hips into him. "I love you, too."

"Are you...can I...?" he glances down at his erect length, slick with his own precum.

"Please," you beg. He slowly enters you, filling you up perfectly. His movements still for a moment as the two of you feel the power of your connection. He gives small thrusts, holding you by the small of your back as he pulls himself out and pushes back in rhythmically. You can't remember the last time anyone's held you this close.

He grows harder inside you, hitting that sweet spot over and over. His choked panting tells you that he's close, but so are you.

"Can we finish together?" you manage, and he nods. "I'm still on the pill...you can cum inside me, baby."

"Now?"

"Mhm," you cry out as he pumps faster. "Eddie--fuck--right there, I'm cumming..." You clench around him as your orgasm overtakes you, and you feel his thick, hot ropes fill you. He stays there for a beat, kissing you with his swollen lips before taking himself out and flopping next to you on your bed.

"Y/N?" he asks meekly. "Look at me, love."

You shift to your side so your eyes are trained on his.

"You're my everything. Always have been, always will be." He caresses your cheek, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "Will you take me back? I'll never..."

"I know," you kiss his nose as he grabs your waist and pulls you against his chest. "I love you, Eddie."

"I love you more," he play argues with a grin.

"Impossible."

"Nope," he tickles you gently until you swat at him. "And I'll spend the rest of my life proving it."

--

[fallershipping]

Some thonks about old headcanons and "Fankids or Zero Fankids" endings

TW: Miscarriage and Pregnancy talk

It's funny to think now I have it be that the moment Looker and Anabel try for a baby, pregnancy happen almost immediately for comedic effect.

I used to have it differently when I first started shipping them, actually. A lot of things were overly dramatic; eloping, going off the grid, etc etc. But one of the ideas was that Looker and Anabel trying to have a child together was turbulent and filled with so many "failed" attempts. Eventually this culminated in a miscarriage that kinda shook them both and put them in a rocky state of their relationship.

I... Do not like this idea at all nowadays. It feels like dramatics for dramatics, and a very surface level view on miscarriage.

Honestly? Through my point of view, I don't think Anabel would be hard pressed on getting pregnant quick or even have much of any grief from a miscarriage. Her and Looker wouldn't really be in any rush... Which also applies to the idea of "The Good Ending can be With or Without Biological Children"

Sure Looker noticing her pregnancy early is a bit of a jumping of the gun. but it's more like "HAHA MY INTUITION IS RIGHT, I still got it!" comedy. Both of them are very aware that early stages means that the embryo or stem cells could pull an oopsie. Like baking a cake, but forgetting a crucial ingredient. Nothing worth announcing until the embryo for certain has passed through critical forming stages without natural accidents.

Albeit, this is a lot of Vergo opinions and Vergo indulgence. I feel like if I were to go through a miscarriage, I would not feel all too upset. I don't believe that I failed, that my dreams were crushed, because my view on childbirth is that 'If I want one, I'll have one, but if it doesn't happen, I'm perfectly fine too.' To me, death is happening inside my body all the time; death blood cells, dead skin cells, death and rebirth and death and rebirth, a constant cycle. So.. I apply this to the characters I like and my view of fankids in general.

Of course, birth and kids is also part of the 'forced femininity' BS I encountered all my life from society, so I like having my own reigns on my own thoughts and feelings on this aspect of the human experience.

[addie7]

Just a small question..

why do you ship Ivan x Enzo?

Hopefully this doesn't seem mean in anyway just a genuine question because of the age gap plus their maturity differences from them having an 2-3 age gap in canon so it really confuses me and I'd like to hear why you do ship them

(Also an age gap should apply if 20+ because the brain is more mature by then)

And another thing is how different their voices is in the game you can really tell that Ivan does sound younger then Enzo

Oh -, I have no idea how you found out about this honestly. Maybe you have seen it on a blog or in my post about the little story I did about Enzo's marriage and the mysterious person I wanted to portray in a very funny comedy.

Answering your question, with all firmness.

Yes, I honestly ship them.

This has really made me too embarrassed to admit something like this about a taste of mine, maybe this can affect me in some way for some reason, now I wouldn't like to show a stupid drawing related to a ship idealizing their personalities so that they are necessarily together and placing a hashtag "long live homosexuality" (a way of saying).

or something like that...

You know what you really like and but you don't admit it for fear of being rejected, well that person is me haha.

I've been hiding this one

a strange taste for a while until I got tired of it, the reason I shipped them was mainly because they were just friends or colleagues in 2020, but then it developed when I watched the series premiere and I could notice some extremely cute attitudes that They caught my attention. attention attention as mutual concern and a somewhat constant attachment.

Unlike age, for some reason I previously assumed that Ivan was even older than Enzo in the video games due to his skill and intelligence that he was able to muster with the help of his friends (another fun fact of mine).

although it's just fiction and that doesn't really matter...

Personally, I think that two years of age difference does not make much difference in maturity. I just see a pretty cute and innocent, harmless and healthy relationship between these characters in what I want to point out. I only pair them as a simple very tender friendship, companions or something more romantic as long as it is healthy and non-toxic.

Well... they are individual tastes that don't hurt anyone, I hope so.

It is as essential as it is for anyone as long as they have some limit on their expenses.

I say this with all due respect, I don't want my words to be misinterpreted since I don't usually express myself correctly, okay?

I hope that after reading this you suddenly hate me.

SORRY...ICANT, THIS IS SO-

[anthromimicry]

🐛 - @twcfaces!

an insect i associate with your muse meme!

AHH, hello there!! thank you for the ask, my friend, though i'm SO sorry for how late this is - but here i am answering these once more and whenever it comes to your harvey/two's? i'd say that the insect i associate with them is the hickory horned devil caterpillar, which later transforms into something called the regal moth, which has very beautiful coloring in my humble opinion. i shall include a picture of both underneath a cut at the end of this because i know that insects can be a squick for some people BUT let's just talk about them for now!

so, as this insects has two different names since it undergoes both a caterpillar phase and a moth phase throughout its life, that is actually one reason that i chose this particular insect for harvey/two's. for that means that they undergo a transformation during their life-cycle and harvey had gone through one as well. though, in their case; the transformation that they went through was unfortunately of a rather... distressing nature, to say the least. but before all of that happened, harvey was the district attorney for a time, which is a highly appointed position.

and therefore - i imagine that some people might've seen him as a slightly imposing figure. thus, as such, i kind of wanted to implement that idea into the insect i chose for him and i thought with the way that the hickory horned devil looks (with multiple horns sprouting from its head + thorn-looking spines on several parts of its body, though these features on the insect can't cause any real harm to other organisms, actually) this could represent that rather well. though harvey was always a good guy in my opinion and i never like it when people go the route of making him this super corrupt + sleazy lawyer character because that just doesn't feel like him to me.

so, i'd say in a way, i went with the route of having some people's perceptions of him show on the outside (metaphorically) when the regal moth is honestly a good representation of who harvey truly is on the inside. i also think its interesting that, with the caterpillars, they can create this rattlesnake-like sound by vibrating violently to scare away predators. and yeah... it is a defense mechanism that might not be very visually scary.

BUT i know i sure as hell wouldn't want any smoke with anything that would be making that sound (LOL) and i believe it could be one more thing that's symbolic of the dual nature of the creature in relation to harvey/two's as well (the hickory horned caterpillar is physically imposing to predators and/or threats while the later phase of its life that it spends as the regal moth defends itself through a much more lowkey defense mechanism called crypsis, or tree coloration. this is basically just another way to say they use chamouflauge to blend in with their environment NGL haha).

also, the last thing i have on these bad boys in relation to harvey/two's is that they are in fact that largest caterpillar in north america, so i also thought that would apply to them. they are quite tall after all but yeah! i am now done with my explanation, and i hope you liked it :) photo's of the caterpillar and moth will be under the cut!!

[borderlinebox]

when you can could you please make some kuina x reader it can be about anything really thank you 😊

Dating Kuina Headcanons!

✎ pairing ; kuina x reader | warning ; season 2 spoilers, a little short | a/n ; sorry for the wait anon <3 hoped you enjoyed this!

feedback is highly appreciated!!!

honestly it would just be so cute

whoever confessed first wouldn't matter because both of you would be fiddling and nervously chuckling at each other

either way

kuina would be such a totally cute lover

concerned for your safety that is for sure!!

big tough mama bear. cares for you a lot

get hurt and live? dont scare her like that!!!

kisses you before sleep

absolutely the sweetest

kindly fight off the transphobic/homophobic assholes that treat her badly??

she'd be so in love with you if you do

haha, get pissed off by her dad when she tells you her story. do it.

she'll tell you it's okay already and that you didn't have to get angry but appreciates that you care a lot

I have a feeling that either she can't cook or she's an amazing cook. no in between.

i also think she just wants to be held and hold you

her hair ties are always on your wrists and she finds it so darling

maybe keep some pens around for her to bite or whatever she chews on that ain't toxic

surprise behind hugs everybody?

she'll smile and compliment you brightly but would have a big surprised look on her face when you return it

her hands on her face maybe

a little terrible at flirting.

believe me, i think she can give you advice and all that

knows the basics

but when it comes to her applying it onto herself?

a little awkward

i mean did you see that wink she sent last boss?

but other than that, she's the fine line between awkward and charming

she would do your hair if you wanted her to

would get protective if someone ever hurt you or disturbed you in some way

drop kick their ass

when she fell in live with you, she definitely had a lot of them sparkles in her eyes

watches everything you do with admiration like

comforts you after games

goofy and silly and would brag about you to chishiya

im sure he practically knows almost everything about you now

if chishiya believes you're good at the games, he'll probably bring you into the plan

*insert kuina screeching*

"no way! they could get hurt!"

it would take a lot of persuasion and reassurance to get kuina to even consider it

also you would probably scold her ass after she came back from fighting laat boss are you fuckin kidding me??

(andjustlikewhatshedidwithannintheendofthegames-)

she'd hold and squeeze your hand in the end as the fireworks blasted the sky

my god imagine the partly dorky, partly sad, partly relieved and hopeful smile she has on her face

if you knew each other before the borderlands, she'd make her way to find you

like extreme limping

speed limping. extreme speed limping.

even the nurses went crazy

and if not? you'd meet her in the hospital almost the same way you met her at the beach

she'd be next to some dude with bleached hair and you'd notice her because she's staring at you

it appears the bleach blonde captured this and looked at you as well

the same cute awkward giggling

either way, you're gonna end up together in a cute ass way either way

unless of course you di-

[madarasgirl]

Thank you very much for the virtual hugs, all those compliments are a reality, you are simply incredible and so is your work! :)💖

I understand that you are afraid of "spoil" the story since I'm almost sure that most of us readers of your fanfic were looking for something a little spicy and romantic when we started reading the story haha, more than anything I was surprised by the level of crudeness in the one in which you wrote the chapter, I didn't expect it but that doesn't mean I didn't like it.

And yes you are right, although the world can be a beautiful place, it is also ruthless and cruel and in a war is where this dark and miserable part of the human being is most reflected, I love history in general and it is interesting study wars but it is still depressing to read all the horrible acts and consequences of war, that is something that hellsing executed very well. (Especially the Nazi issue) 😥

Wow, you really took the time, it shows that you are taking this seriously and it is admirable. I understand that it is stressful since there are many themes and historical references within hellsing, cheer up!

I hope I don't bore you with so many questions but I'm curious... Have you read the novel Dracula by Bram Stoker? I know it's a bit silly because you are literally making a fanfic of Hellsing and Dracula himself but maybe you haven't read it, I honestly haven't read it since I want to read it from the physical book haha.

Uhh last thing, I love that the reader does have a role in the story and is not just "in the way", I also like that the secondary characters also have a leading role, it was sad to read the death of the reader's bodyguard 😢, Thank you very much for answering my questions! 💖

I don't speak much English so I'm sorry if the question isn't very understandable. 😓

Never apologize for your English! I understand you perfectly well and in fact, you are more articulate than some native English speakers 😊! I think it's very admirable when people read in different languages, especially unfamiliar ones, to improve your language abilities. And I live for long questions/comments 😘.

Yes there is an element to not wanting to ruin the story when it is going well. I think the themes up until now have been generally 'safe' for a majority of the audience. However, another reader asked me sometime last year whether Millennium will feature and I decided to include them in this fic. Ever since I made this decision, the plan was always to go big with Millennium and have them do terrible things on screen. It just took awhile to get there. So the audience indeed got some of that spice and romance...and now MORE! The entire spectrum of feels! Muahaha. It probably was very surprising to see some of those less appetizing new tags, but this was how I envisioned the story going and I'm thankful for you and the other readers who are still here.

Sometimes I need a break from reading what war crimes happened. Or I do a double-take to check if I read correctly. People seriously do horrific things to each other, monstrous things. It'll be a reoccurring theme with Millennium. I also understand that some people wouldn't enjoy seeing the Reader sexually assaulted when it's technically supposed to be them. At the same time, I just can't see her getting out of this scot-free. It'd be unrealistic for nothing to happen to her as a Nazi prisoner.

Okay so funny thing is, I didn't read the Bram Stoker novel. I make fun of myself for exactly the same reason, but at this point...ignorance is bliss 😬. That saying where "the more you learn, the less you know" applies. I'm scared I'll learn something huge and feel like changing something this far into the story haha. Instead I just Google specific facts I want to know from the novel. Also, while the Reader can be interpreted as being like Mina Harker, I myself would rather not be Mina, a reincarnation of her, or any descendent of her. I am me (accidental Major quote) and I'd rather self-insert as myself. One day I'll read Stoker's novel and poke more fun at my fic.

Omg thank you so much! Technically, reader-inserts are supposed to be a 'less active' blank slate. At the same time, in a longer fic, it doesn't make sense to me for her to be completely passive with no personality, a passenger to her existence in her own story, so to say. That would make the story bland and uninteresting. It is also impossible to create a Reader who would behave as every single person who reads this fic would. Instead, I guess the audience can think of her as an OC without the physical descriptors and name? At least that is how I experience other writers' reader-inserts. She's still a little bit of a damsel in distress, but I like it and think it can be forgiven in her case, since she's just a civilian human mired in the world of the supernatural.

Gareth the bodyguard was a good guy. I'm not sure if you are familiar with the 2001 Hellsing TV series. That is where Captain Ferguson, Andrew, Gareth Henderson, and Chris Pickman come from. They are elites and 3 of them were great men. I liked how the Hellsing paramilitary from the TV series was an actual trained force that dealt with ghouls and vampires, unlike Ultimate where it felt like Hellsing's troops were all fodder besides Alucard, Seras, and Walter. It was a fun watch until the final villain, imo!

Thank you for such sweet encouragement! I do feel better about all of it 😁. Thank you so, so, SO much for these messages!!!!!

[vwritesaus]

Get to know your blogger game! Copy and share it with others

Of the characters you like/make edits/write/draw;

-Are you the same as them in family situation? Meaning are you an only child like them? Or a brother/sister like them?

-Is your family relationship with your siblings similar to your fav characters? (if having siblings) If not, do you think it would if you had?

````^-^``` ````^-^``` ````^-^``` ````^-^``` ````^-^``` ````^-^``` ````^-^``` ````^-^``` ````^-^```

ah this is a cool one!! okay so since i cannot separate thomas and alastair as my favourites, i'll do one for each of them !!

therefore:

THOMAS LIGHTWOOD:

no, i am not the youngest sibling in the family, nor am i the tallest lol. that award goes to my brother (who stands at 192cm/6'3 or 6'4 i.e. very close to thomas's height)

his relationship with his sisters and my relationship with mine? not at all similar. as for if it would be if we had... i couldn't possibly say. i'd like to think so, but tbh given the relationship our parents have with each other... not at all like sophie and gideon lemme tell ya. also it would be nice to have older siblings who are actually around to mollycoddle you *has an older half-sister from my father's first marriage*

ALASTAIR CARSTAIRS:

eldest sibling gang!! and that's not where the similarities end. this is why i relate to him so heavily (especially on the father front/being a parent to a younger sibling from a young age) because we both would do anything for our younger siblings/protect them at all costs while still being... idk, kind of upset that we couldn't have the same childhood as them? but it comes from a place of love and solidarity, and it's shaped us into the people we are in our late teens/twenties. which leads to -

definitely a lot closer in similarity with the carstairs fam than with the lightwoods. growing up, i was pretty distant to my brother in public (like alastair is with cordelia post joining the academy) and i can be pretty mean to him sometimes when he gets on my nerves, but i'd kill for him. i would. i'd die for him too. i'd do anything and would give up my soul if it would make him safe and healthy and happy (i should mention he's a nonverbal severely autistic young man). there's no question. we're super close to each other and tbh given we were raised by a single mum with no other family, we kinda only have each other?? very like alastair and cordelia. and that's not even going into the whole 'father dotes on the youngest/talks about their needs and wants constantly while actively treating the eldest like they're either not there/only there to support the youngest/like another parent rather than their own fucking child' thing. so yeah. *also applies to my two younger half-siblings from my father's last marriage*

that's about it really??? my family is messy af haha, but i honestly wouldn't want to be anything else but an older sister ♡

[throwaway-yandere]

This is a highly controversial question that could probably get me canceled on this website so I need to be careful with how I word this but please, PLEASE, explain to me why you use they/them pronouns? Is it even rude to ask that?? A little bit of background so you can understand where I'm coming from PLS DON'T COME FOR MY NECK JUST YET BUT I live in Eastern Europe and everything is very conservative here, everything, people are still stuck in the 19th century when it comes to the LGBT community and whatnot. I never knew people used they/them pronouns until I first joined Tumblr back in 2017 and for YEARS I was just like "Ah, ok cool, I'll just call them that. I don't really know and understand why people pick these pronouns but I feel bad for not calling them something they don't like." There are always special snowflakes online that use the pronouns to gain some sort of attention (be it good or bad...) but there seems to be a genuine number of individuals that uses them for a reason, not just to gain petty internet attention or whatever. I trust you so that's why I'm asking you, I'm still a little in the dark when it comes to these things, I hope you see where I'm coming from 🥲

JDKAOWOQO OH NO ACTUALLY I FEEL LIKE MY ANSWER IS MORE CONTROVERSIAL HAHAHAH–

and huhu you're not rude at all!!! I totally get what you mean when you get this feeling that people are doing it for attention huhuhuhu

I feel so flattered that you trust me but I have a feeling I'm not the right person to ask this... um... I use they/them mostly because I just wanna set boundaries, that's all hahaha ;;---;;

"... that's probably the most boring answer you could give huh ansytea" yEAH WELL IT'S THE TRUTH AND I'M A BAD LIAR so yeah this is my honest to God reply

First: I don't want to explicitly give away too much of who I am in the internet like what's my real name, gender, country, etc. I feel like it's not safe at all considering this is a dark content blog huhu. The internet's pretty dang scary. Cuz doxxing and all that...

But I think I can understand where most people are coming from when they use they/them pronouns, they just don't feel like they belong in a certain standard of masculinity or femininity– or at least they feel like they exude both sides enough.

Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm nonbinary at all. All I know is that I'm ace and possibly aro. I have a name that's more common to the opposite gender than "what's in one's pants"– and I feel a strange disconnect with the gender that's given to me?

My reasonings are going to be very specific so it wouldn't really apply to everyone who uses they/them pronouns huhu:

I was raised knowing that my parents wanted me to be the opposite gender since I'm their second child haha. I always end up on the other gender's list when the teacher does a rollcall my whole life, and everytime I introduce myself it's always "Oh I thought you're a ____ because of your name!" and maybe I'm just a weakling but it kinda bugs me to the point that I go "... yeah I wish I was a ____ too."

I don't feel like a boy. I don't feel like a girl. I don't know where I belong between those two sexes and there just comes a point where you're tired of just trying to please whatever perception people have of you? Hahaha I am NOT making sense I am so sorry miss ana 😭

I'm from a very conservative country too so there are times I feel like I'm not feminine/masculine enough compared to people my age and (admittedly) I get a bit irritable/hurt whenever people force those standards on me lol. I just wanna live life without all those things, I guess. It's tiring hearing those aunties say you're not good enough and that you should look more aesthetically pleasing to get the attention of the other gender like auntie I'm asexual I don't wanna get hitched–

I'm honestly fine if people assume that I'm a boy/girl online and call me by other pronouns lololol, but will I ever actually admit what's my assigned gender? Probably not unless we're close my comrades and haha unfortunately I used to have a tendency to trust easily. I feel comfortable being called they/them, and that's just how it is lololol

Ajeioaoa ughhhh im so frustrated that my response probably isn't helpful because I can't explain it myself the only thing I can give you is my experiences ༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽ yejakeiaosooaoa iM SO SORRY FOR LETTING YOU DOWN–

[syneilesis]

perhaps a question, or a few: i’m sure kicho knows his actions are behind y/n’s eventual death, but is there wishful thinking, you think, on his part? because he doesn’t strike me as a person who’d say declarations of love, promises of a better future, assurance of protection just for the sake of it. surely, somewhere somehow, there’s some form of self-deception somewhere?

and and if this is true, i can’t imagine (or rather, curious) how he’d come to the realisation that he’d actively cause the demise of his love one. will he chuck it as collateral damage? as a means to an end? or will he just buckle and spiral?

cries would you be so kind to give us a peek? a short drabble maybe? or perhaps just a few liners 😩😩😩

Ohh! First of all, thank you for these questions! Questions about my fics make my heart aflutter 🥺😊💖

But to answer your questions: Well, I actually have two kinds of answers lol. The first one is: everything that isn't explicitly mentioned in the fic can be up to the reader's interpretation! The fic is written in a way that we know only what the MC is going through, so the ambiguity in those gaps can be filled by your imagination :D

The second answer is much more lengthy and detailed and contextualized, so I'll put it under a cut.

I wrote i bruise my hands on the living cage when Kicho's route hadn't been announced yet in JP, and the only information I had of him was from his introductory story, Nobunaga's sequel, and Motonari's route. I've always been drawn to morally ambiguous characters whose goals may be good but the means to achieve them isn't necessarily moral itself (hehe I'm looking at you, too, Vlad). So, in this case, I'd like to explore what might happen if, ya know, Kicho won.

Some things that I had to be firm about writing the fic: Kicho wins, at a cost. And that cost is MC. Try as she might to stop him, MC ultimately fails. So she disappears/dies/is erased from existence at the end of the fic. Sorry, MC lol

I also had this flavor of Kicho in mind: so absorbed in his goal that he'd do everything to achieve it – which in a way broke him. So he's a little more mad and deluded in the fic.

For your first set of question, you're right! This Kicho is overconfident about his capability to fulfil two things: achieve his goal and keep MC safe beside him. It's his hubris that would do him in, and it did. He got the former, but not the latter. I don't know if it came across in the writing, but the scene where Kicho found out that MC was affected by his tampering with historical events, his reaction was supposed to come off as unnerving and alarming. At that point he's already blinded by his goal; he's going to win no matter what. This man had such severe tunnel vision!

For the second set of question ... hmm ... this is the more ambiguous area where you can imagine whatever you want. Honestly I've thought little about the aftermath haha, because I was focused on MC's POV. I'm torn whether to say something further! Lol. Because what I'd think may be different from yours and it may not be what you're looking for. But! For you, anon, I'll try hehe.

Let's see ... (please brace yourself?)

---

The symptoms I used in the fic was similar to the ones in Nobunaga's sequel: blackouts, etc. But once Kicho won, the result would be an altered future, where MC would not exist. And then time travel rules and all got applied – which meant that MC would get erased in existence in the present (past?) timeline. She'd disappear. Kicho wouldn't be there when it happened. Back in his manor (?), MC would feel and see herself disintegrating, and her last thought would be, I'm sorry, Kicho.

When Kicho came home, there's no sign of MC anywhere. At first he thought that she'd left, but eventually he'd figure it out. Her things were, after all, still there. And it would devastate him, like a maw suddenly devouring his heart. He'd be in denial at first. He was so sure of the results, never did he think that he'd miscalculate. It was impossible. This was the one thing that he had no contingencies.

He'd probably fall to his knees and for a very long time stare at the futon where they'd lain together the night before. His mind would be blank the entire time.

And then, more effects of the timeline disruption! Because MC's existence had been erased, the people who knew her began to forget her. As if she never existed in the first place. Kicho would feel in his mind the slow death of his memories of MC. One memory after another, it would fade into oblivion, and he couldn't stop it. Before the last of his memories of MC disappeared permanently, Kicho swallowed and thought to himself, This is the price of my conviction.

So he lived the rest of his life under the consequences of his ambition. In that regard, he was satisfied. But there were times when an inexplicable sorrow consumed him, and he couldn't identify the cause. Sometimes, he felt emptiness: when he'd lie down to sleep, he'd seek for a warmth that wasn't there. When he'd appraise a kimono for trade, he'd turn his head as if to talk to someone, but he had nobody with him. These were some things that confused Kicho, but no matter what he did there were no answers to soothe his clamoring heart. No answers.

That was the price of his conviction.

---

Phew, that got long. So long story short: Kicho genuinely loved MC, but ultimately chose his ambition 🥲

I hope I answered satisfactorily? If not, I'm sorry 😂😭 But I truly enjoyed your ask, anon! I hope you'll come back in the future 💖

[chaithetics]

AAHHHHH WJDIEKDKWLW THIS WAS THE CUTEST CHAPTER EVER!!! 😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😭😭😭😭

helloo bestie how are you? i'm curious anon who missed kendall's birthday chapter because i was so busy but hey lucky i'm here today because i really missed reading porce and stewy <333 (about that chapter: i still can't believe in the audacity of a random man hitting on porce with stewy literally next to her BUT not everyone has a husband like hers so it wasn't a concern try again!!! and kendall being an asshole what a surprise..)

but let's talk about now and how it was so beautiful and so cute and how i never want to get pregnant or have kids but i felt like i had just given birth and i liked it lol a baby with stewy hosseini? PLEASE I clearly and totally could change my beliefs for this 🥺 roman being.. roman, i confess i laughed because he's such an idiot but it was so real i'm sure he would actually say it in the show lmao and imagining him making that same joke when jonathan was bigger, at a dinner like "I think you old enough to know the truth" and everyone please don't 🤦🏻‍♀🙄 logan showing some love?? omg?? for a baby?? but lol I know it's real because I've seen people who don't have a good relationship with their parents but parents just love their grandchildren, guilt? I don't know but at least it wasn't bad and shiv, yes no one expected her to show up or send a card and I'm sure she was mad for not giving her first grandchild to logan but whatever, at my house we don't care about her!! and finally CONNOR IS THE BEST BROTHER, I love him and I'm happy to know he's going to be a great big uncle <33 anywayyy, sorry for so many words but I don't know how to sum it up and I like to praise when I really like something ahjxsisk aaand watching this chapter of jonathan's birth i was curious to know more about tillie <3 her parents planning her, did it "accidentally" happen or was she planned? finding out it's a girl, telling jonathan he's going to be a big brother, telling his family.. 😭🥰😭🥰 ok enough hahaha congratulations on another amazing chapter and have a great sunday! <333

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO, SO, SO, SWEET!!!! I LOVE YOU!

Hello lovely curious Nonnie! I'm a little bit tired and sore with period pain. How are you?! Hey, missing Kendall'a birthday just means that you got a 2 for 1 special for fic reading haha! Aw that's so sweet that you missed them!

This is so sweet and honestly same! 🤣 I've never gone through that and I personally don't plan to so I was googling random stuff to make sure what I knew was true. I've been to hospital before and know what that's like but I have no idea what it's like being in a hospital for childbirth, let alone at what would be a fancy, super private hospital. Buy Stewy and Jonathan are cuties, I can confirm.

Aw, I'm glad it made you laugh! Like you said, it feels like a very gross Roman thing to say. I like to try and make the characters as realistic to the show as possible and I've gotten a bit of positive feedback on that about Roman which I really appreciate. I hadn't even thought about that! I feel like he'd maybe something like that when he's a young toddler so he's verbal but wouldn't get it/remember it. But it would be more of a joke he'd just tell adults about (going to give him some emotional maturity points there lol).

Yes! That's what I was thinking of! There's definitely a phenomenon of abusive parents being much nicer to their grandchildren in comparison to how they treated their children. I don't know if there's a term for it, I'm sure there is one in psychology? But anyway I think that very much applies to Logan. Also I don't know if I'd say it's Logan sharing love and if so it's definitely not a genuine or healthy love. We know there's the thing about the bloodline and how Logan feels about that and is with Sophie and Iverson. I think that him showing up was solely for like confirmed proof that his bloodline "had been passed down" and that's what Porce had done "good" of and why he thanked her. We know Logan doesn't view his children as serious people and he doesn't take any of them seriously from the very first episode. There's this whole thing going on about all of his sons being failures and something being wrong with them and then Shiv always being held back by her gender. I think in a way he's also hoping for grandchildren as like a reset/worthy successors.

No haha. Nobody expected that from Shiv. Tom would organise a gift basket that he put far too much thought in with an interesting card and Shiv would lift her hand to just sign her name with an eye roll. I think she'd look down on it and see it as Porce sealing her fate as nothing but a mother and wife (similar with Caroline). Connor is nuts but he's a very sweet older brother, he'll be the most doting uncle and his nephew and niece will adore him!

Don't apologise! These asks with questions are such a nice change and breath of air from the asks with requests, which I'm so grateful for but are definitely a bit overwhelming at times. This also really touches me to know people care about my work so much that they think about it and take the time to come up with questions and send them to me. I love it and I'm always happy to answer any questions!!!! Thank you! I adore you so much!

These are such great questions! I think I'll explore them more in another fic similar to this Jonathan one but for Tillie! Thank you for those ideas! I think she'd maybe be "casually planned", is that a term?! But Jonathan would be close to a few years old and they'd think now wouldn't be a bad time to have another so they wouldn't be putting pressure on it but it wouldn't necessarily be an accident. If that makes sense? I think telling Jonathan could be sweet and quite funny. Despite being good at sharing and a polite little man he's used to being an only child and because his cousins are all older he doesn't quite get pregnancy etc. I think they'd have to explain it to him a few times and read some books to him on that. I could also see something silly happening like his uncle Connor asks him if he's excited to meet his baby sister and Jonathan innocently says it's not a sister but an alien in his mum's tummy and Roman finds that absolutely hilarious and makes some more affair jokes. But when Jonathan meets his younger sister he's very happy and excited!

Thank you so much lovely! When i posted that it was that late that I think it was technically Succession Monday for me already haha! I hope you had a great Succession Sunday and Monday! Thank you so much for the praise and questions, I adore you and will start writing those Tillie questions into a proper fic soon, so thank you!!! Thank you so much Curious Nonnie, you're the best! 💗

[lemonhemlock]

sorry I come busting in like this and honestly, you're free to delete this anon if you don't want this rant to clog ur tl and nice blog. <s>-ing it so it takes up less space. this will only be half comprehensive if at all lol can't be bothered sorrz but I'll try to approach it with as much sincerity as I can muster

"you can’t apply real world logic to the fake tv show"

we all unconciously apply "real world logics" to the fiction we read/see/talk about all the time. it's how we make sense of the fiction we read and the millions of opinions thrown at us.

what is implied by "logic"? I'm sure what we understand as our "real world logic" is vastly different from person to person. in my world cousin incest is encouraged. in my world my mother was married of at 15 to a 30 year old. does "logic" mean "modern belief system"? again I'd wager you use your modern belief system to interpret your fiction as well. (hell, historians/academics/anthropologists are trained to refuse the urge of applying modern belief systems and cultural universalism because doing that is so ingrained in us as humans to the point entire belief systems are build on it.) unless you're doing some specific reading feat. your applied academic theory/philosophy/politic/thruline of choice.

if the meaning of "you can’t apply real world logic to the fake tv show" is "oh 10 yos were historically expected to b breeding eager! (again what history are u using? surely not the one grrm is using.... which is barely any. if one at all lol) so don't question it! move on to the next scene - oh look a grown ass man kicking and manhandling an alcoholic child! they dont make them badass lil kids like they used to! oh look the gay man is sad bcs he cant make babies in the pseudo-historical fantasy world :( :D haha surely never happens in our real world! i mean back then, sureeee, but not today!" dont get me wrong. nobody HAS TO be appalled by 10yo aemond just as nobody has to be appalled by 14yo alicent being "groomed" either. because remember that's the "applied-real-life-logic" fallacy! wouldn't want to do that to our precious incest drama. keep ur brain at home when u visit the dragon and incest and child grooming show guys!

is my pointing out that aemond might be written as a character study or perhaps even a cautionary tale abt boys indoctrinated at a young age "applied-real-life-logic"? that's just a reading of a modern text parading as a historical text (!) with a consciousness towards the present modern issue of historical revisionism among young people. grrm loves his dragon, he loves his operatic incest dramas, but he also loves his societal critic. and sometime she mixes them all up for funsies. or is asoiaf and co's anti-war stance smh not "applied-real-world-logic"? or is being appalled by war somehow an acceptable presentist reading and cultural universalist stance but being appalled by a 10 yo groomed by adults around him to fuck good and make pure babies all while spewing supremacist shit is not? or was it the clumsy form and casual tone of a 50 words anon written in maybe 5 min of the latter that's not to ur liking

the characterization of aemond as a 10 yo was not pulled outta thin air either. my pointing out that aemonds speech and behaviour at 10 have much in common with 4channers and lil wannabe hitler youths is not that far fetched. sure you're free to disagree but throwing that "apply real world logic" falacy at someone for a reading you disagree with is just vacant. aemond is not a historical figure in which case I would be deeply averse to presentism and universalism and would be much more cautious in my reaction/tone towards behaviour that I deem deeply disturbing on various levels.

Of course I'm not going to delete your rant; you took great pains to write it and your points are as valid as anyone else's. Thank you for being so open with aspects of your own culture. I do agree with your stance that we are inadvertently influenced by own belief system whenever we interact with a piece of media or a written text. This fictional universe exists in the here-and-now and it would be kind of pointless if we weren't ever allowed to analyse it through a more sophisticated modern lens & just kept everything at "medieval morality" level all the time, so as to not be anachronistic.

However, I do feel like these two views can be reconciled somehow. I honestly think what the anon was trying to convey by the "real-life logic" comment was that 10-year-old Aemond is, in effect, also a prop for the showrunners to introduce narrative or thematic elements that they may want to develop later, not just a random little boy parroting ideology he doesn't fully understand.

Thus, little Aemond can be propagandized by other family members into believing Targaryen hype, including the joys & wonders of targcest, agreed. But, at the same time, he is also a character in a TV show, whose lines are written by someone, with framing decided by someone. There is authorial intent behind his appearances on screen, not everything is naturalistic, so to speak. And sometimes decisions pertaining to characters (especially those with little screen time) tend to be strategic. Meaning that, yes, the show is pointing out the consequences of targcest fascistoid indoctrination. But, it is also possible it wants to lay the building blocks for a future Helaena-Aemond dynamic and is using that scene to shoot two birds with one stone, so to speak.

Which is to say that if the authors (scriptwriters, directors, producers) wanted to introduce the audience to the possibility of helaemond, this is one way to do it. Little Aemond is being directed to stare wistfully at Helaena while imagining how cool it would be to marry her. Grown-up!Aemond is being directed to move his whole-ass chair and stare like a weirdo at his sister dancing with Jace. It's disruptive in the dinner table landscape, especially when compared to Aegon's reaction.

This is where subtext comes into play. And, because we're speaking of cues and innuendo, different people may interpret it differently. This is not to say that helaemond is a certainty, only that various visual storytelling hints have been employed, should they want to pick this thread up again in the future. I doubt that these two actors just so happened to come up with these acting choices on their own in one big coincidence.

If this were real-life and Aemond an actual person pining after his sister, perhaps these interactions wouldn't have occurred in the same manner. He would have looked at Aegon when having a conversation with him. He would have kept an eye on Jace and Helaena without physically moving his chair. These can very well be details added by the show-runners to subtly communicate something to us. Of course we can disagree on the nature of that information, but, from a logistical standpoint, it makes sense that they'd want to keep their options open, test the waters, and only in later seasons commit to a a certain path.

[poof346]

Rodrick Rules: Disney + Disappoints

So uh, did you know this even came out? It got basically no marketing and I found out it released today by getting a community post on YouTube, which is hardly a good omen. Make a mental note of this, I'll bring it up again later. That aside, lemme talk a bit about Diary of a Wimpy Kid, since I doubt I'll get an opportunity for it again.

I was a pretty big fan of the books when I was growing up, being in just the right age range to laugh at the relatable scenarios. Watched the live action movies too, and honestly thought the trilogy (before The Long Haul) faithfully adapted the books while adding more layers to the characters. I fell off the series eventually though, and when I moved out of my house in Florida, I donated my whole set. Mostly because they took up space, but also because I felt they were losing something.

Not meaning to doubt Jeff Kinney's talent as an author, I do think those earlier books hold up from what I remember. But once you reach a certain point in an ongoing series, you begin to exhaust your ideas, highlighted even by the covers for these books reusing colors. So I suppose it wasn't too surprising that when Disney got the film distribution rights for the series, they would retread the books that already had movies to give Disney + more content. That said, when the idea was first teased, I was actually alright with it, since the first book was being adapted into an animated movie, and the test animation looked stylized enough that it could stand on its own.

However, I suppose the scope of the project was scaled back considerably after the test animation, because the final product ended up looking very cheap, and to put it bluntly...amateurish. This applies to the sequel too, which is what this review is really about, haha. Lumping these two together for context made more sense in my head, since I feel both movies have the same issues plaguing them. Anyway, the visuals, the big elephant in the room. They look REALLY bad.

The framerate is really jittery and like they forgot to include tween frames, the lighting is basic and gives everything an unappealing black shadow. The environments look empty and like they only modeled the bare minimum needed (I noticed the Heffley house has only one tree behind it in the opening scene). I could go on, but just in general, the team working on this clearly didn't have enough money or time to create something better.

And I don't think it takes a genius to understand why: the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movies were only greenlit to fill space on Disney + since the service still doesn't appeal to people without an existing attachment to their IPs. The actual quality of the productions didn't matter to the higherups, they just needed to release so it looked like there was more value to the service. So, they likely delegated a shoestring budget, leaving them with barely anything left for marketing. That way the movies could be made for cheap, advertised for cheap (not at all), and it wouldn't burn a hole in their pockets since the films were hardly a consideration.

As such, my summary of Rodrick Rules will have as much care as Disney themselves had. It's the book but bad. Rodrick throws a party, Greg learns his tricks to skating through life in exchange for keeping quiet, their parents find out anyway, the brothers make up after some tension. The broad strokes are there but the specifics are off, like it was their first draft of the script being submitted. Mainly, due to the short runtime, this all happens really fast and none of the attempted emotional moments hit.

Does it matter though? Eh, probably not, I'm sure there's already an adaptation of similar quality for the third book being worked on for a release next year. Disney is a corporation with money on their minds first, so I doubt they would give more respect to the books of my childhood unless a much bigger audience shows up, and by design, these movies are being forgotten about after they release. Posting my thoughts here isn't gonna change anything, but I still wanted to voice them because it's better than letting them go unsaid.