#I mean she was like 18 so whatever
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Thinking how “Adarlan” is so uncomfortable to say, and out loud you always sound like your saying “a darlin” but very confused and with an unsure accent
It deadass sounds like 8 yr old me syllable vomiting to come up with something fantasy sounding because I didn’t understand how things were named
I think this can highlight SJM’s lack of world building fundamentals (that she very clearly still has) when it comes to naming things. Thank every fucking deity that she switched over to literal names like “Spring Court” or “Eternal City”, as lazy as they are, because I don’t think I could’ve slugged through any more off-brand “Tolkien-esque” names 😭😭
#I’m just shitposting#I mean she was like 18 so whatever#But still#sjm critical#anti sjm#anti tog#anti acotar#anti sarah j maas#acotar critical
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with Vernestra being in the new book and seeing some people comment on like 'waiting for the other shoe to drop with her arc' (sorry if you happen to be the person who wrote that on reddit and are reading this haha, I actually really agreed with your review, that line just popped out at me), and my own frustrations with wishing they'd just invented a new character to fill her role in The Acolyte, because speculation on how we make the (kinda big) leap from book characterization to show characterization is overshadowing her character in these last few books, I started wondering like why did they choose Vernestra to be the one book character to bring forward? They had to retcon the Mirialan lifespan for it, didn't they? I know they probably wanted at least one book character to get the book readers on board with the series, but there wasn't anything that jumped out at me to explain why that figure had to be Vernestra. Then I got it.
...I bet they just wanted to use the lightwhip.
I mean first of all it is a cool, unique weapon for the series, even though they only used it in that one shot, fair enough lol. But I bet they had the idea for that shot of Qimir's scar to connect to whatever turned him to the Sith and planned the arc from there, so they had the plot first (Qimir fights his former Jedi master, leaving him with the scar that can be strategically revealed when it is time for #traumatic backstory) and slotted Vernestra into it because the lightwhip makes for a unique enough scar pattern to serve as heavy foreshadowing when it's revealed in episode 6.
But damn, I wish they had just made it like Silandra's shield and had it passed down, I would have been chill with Vernestra being Qimir's master's master, that would have made sense to me. But that's definitely where the 'they needed a character from the books to get the book nerds to watch the show' lol and maybe they already have Burryaga's (the only other character I can think of with a sufficient lifespan) ending planned (#fear). But it still does kind of suck that the ending of the book series has to be viewed through this lens of 'ok well how does this explain what happened between book Vernestra and show Vernestra...'
#star wars#the high republic#tears of the nameless#the acolyte#vernestra rwoh#i always type out her full name because i got snobbishly pissed when people started being mean to her while calling her vern#she doesn't like to be called vern!!#also for the record given how much there is to wrap up and tv production vs drafting timelines...#i doubt there's going to be much in the remaining books to explain the characterization gap#probably in Justina Ireland's standalone novel but i doubt they'll get into it in the main series#so i'm trying to read without thinking of that. let 18 year old vernestra deal with the crisis at hand lol#like damn let the girl deal with her issues without projecting them a hundred years into the future XD#lol also yeah i'm aware i def made fun of the snobs for getting mad about lifespans and now i'm like 'hm but the lifespans'#i don't actually care they can change whatever lol it's just serving to highlight that#they really wanted it to be vernestra regardless of what the lifespans were originally
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Hhhhighschool au bus ride with trouble from @shepherds-of-haven ;;;; haha
#shepherds of haven#trouble alder#halle beren#if you were wondering why red and the others had such different styles it’s bc this is the missing link#thought I’d try and paint aka no lines! and a background! wild!#anyway in a hs au where their respective single parents are alive#trouble is supported and thriving as the king of social butterflies#she is less feral but also less confident and she pines for him night and day#she is positive he can’t be that thick and he just wants to be friends - every time she tries to ask him out he invites a group#hang in there girl#this will all come to a head where she swears off her feelings for him and finally starts dating the guy from her smart girl class#and trouble who has always kinda liked that tall redhead or whatever suddenly wants to crack his head in the door#-what’s he got that I don’t got?- but all the girls just laugh at him so he sulks#what do you mean you’re going to the library with him what about our Tuesday night taco tradition??? bruh#the vibe as always is energetic extrovert x introverted baddie#teenage trouble punches walls and that’s a shame but also can’t be untrue#here ig he’s like 17 and she’s 18?? they both live in the poorer district of the city and she uses his mum’s laundromat#it’s a fixture in the community and part of the reason he’s so nosy and earnestly involved with everyone#her ears are pierced so much to mimic THE halek prince of whom she has a picture of in her locker#she is overthinking which music to play on their shared earphones even though he’s off with the fairies#this is why AirPods suck like the intimacy of earphones is unparalleled it’s all about the lean#anyway no doubt years of on and off infatuation vs his obliviousness culminates in dating someone else and avoidance#until either his dad shows up out of nowhere and he bangs on her door in the rain OR like her dad does something extra depresso#and she goes to him straight away#then there is a dramatic confession at the school festival or something#or his mum whacks him over the head ig and makes him walk her home when it’s still awkward between them and he can’t stand the weird mood#also they were going to be wearing their school bags but I got tired lmao so they’re on the ground while they commute it’s fine#he ate her up though tbh lmao#as usual the tags are nonsensical there is so much moisturiser in my eyes I’ve been writing reports for hours and have met so many weirdos#her phone is the shiny drampa that rotted my brain enough for me to create her in it’s image when I was shiny hunting
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It's been a long time. I'm glad I got to see it through the near beginning and to the very end.
This is their story.
#aurikku#april 18 is now officially Memento Vivere day#seriously this fic is peak#like#the grail of reads#AND SHE CONTINUED IT LIKE 15 YEARS LATER IS WILD#I'M STILL HERE#I WAS STILL WAITING#AND LIKE#IT'S FINALLY FINISHED#ONE OF THE BIG TWO GETS COMPLETED#IS WILD#SO THANK YOU ENKIDA#ONCE I REREAD AND CATCH UP#I WILL LEAVE THE BEST REVIEW I CAN#BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS FIC MEANS TO ME#I'VE REREAD WHATEVER WAS UP SEVERAL TIMES#I'VE BEEN AROUND SINCE ALMOST THE BEGINNING#I'VE NEVER LEFT#I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME BACK AND GRACED US WITH FINISHING IT#SO THANK YOU#also I would pay to pick Enkida's brain#seriously#I'd love to interview her
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how do you cut someone off
#like without drifting apart gradually bc tbh i dont wanna be close friends anymore#i feel constantly misunderstood and perpetually weighed down in this person's presence#we're close friends but i dont even like her anymore#and i feel BAD about it but i just cant stand their ass! everything feels like a competition with them. everything feels miserable.#it's definitely partially my own fault bc i do a lot of comparing due to our laundry list of similarities#but it's partially their fault bc shes always adding fuel to the fire#like we can never just agree on things#and whenever i try to balance myself and stop being so competitive here she comes with her damn#need to make even more comparisons between us#also like. they cannot just shut up about how hard life is#Trust me i know! i take 3 pills daily for psychological issues. i have been since i was 18#like they always have to talk about how haaaaard having ADHD is how difficult their life is like#it's one thing to open up to your friends and vent every so often and another to make your illness your entire personality#i rant about all my issues in depth on tumblr BECAUSE i know better than to dump all that onto my friends who are already struggling#im not saying it's Trauma Dumping to talk abt ur problems but holy shit in moderation#like i dont have the mental or emotional capacity for this!!!!#that might sound really mean and god forbid extremely individualistic but it's truly because#im trying to HEAL im trying to RECOVER#and with someone constantly messaging me about their ailments and symptoms and struggles! well it makes me feel like we're both bound to be#stuck foreverrrr#also apart from that i dont enjoy their company. they used to be interesting and now they're just negative half the time if not more and#constantly playing the devils advocate for seemingly no real reason#im not perfect either in fact i can be a real asshole in friendship im aware. but this one particular friend has been pissing me off for#over a year and that has to mean something#like why now and why for this long?#if it really is a Me Problem then okay! like i fucking suck im horrible or whatever lets not be friends so that she can be happier!#idgaf anymore maybe im the bad guy but either way we're better off apart#z.post
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RUBY FRANKE AND JODI HILDEBRANDT SENTENCED TO 4 TO 60 YEARS IN PRISON LETS GOOOOO
#Ruby pled guilty to the charges#She'll likely stay about 30 since that's the current limit legally in Utah for consecutive sentences#But that's only if she's sentenced to the maximum sentence possible#15 years for each case of child abuse#for a total of 4 cases and 60 years#her adult children aren't considered methinks#similar to how a therapist can't tell authorities you're being abused after u turn 18 without your consent#idk how much she'll get seeing as they're in Utah#so there's a lot of ppl that genuinely believe she has a right to do anything to her kids short of killing them#if it means they stick with the religion for as long as they live#some do believe killing ur kids should be allowed tho if it saves their soul or whatever#I disagree with both obviously I think you should be hit with hammers if you treat your kids anywhere near like this#but Jodi better get got those aren't even her fuckin kids got damn#I hope they both get the maximum sentence but especially Jodi cause she absolutely exhasterbated this paranoid mom's shit#Ruby isn't innocent in the slightest she was fucked before Jodi ever showed up#but I fully believe Jodi pushed her closer to this extremen#extreme*#and I hope we start to chip away at the religious exemptions we still have in the US when it comes to child abuse#'spare the rod' spare ur fucking breath if you hit a child I'm gonna hit you with hammers#ex christian#religious trauma#child abuse
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A few of the various iterations of Suiren in our Multiverse of Madness and the different things she is into, comprised into one (not so) neat list for my beloved @katkastrofa as part 1 of her birthday present (intended to be used as reference for a certain something 🤭👀 and also bc she said please when she reblogged my earlier post and who am I to say no to that? :D)
(Alternatively: Tumblr please don’t nerf me I beg you)
Under the cut for comfort reasons :’)
SotRL/post-SotRL – At first uses sex as an outlet for her frustrations, wanting it fast, rough and with as little feelings involved as possible. Merciless biter, loves attention on her tits, has a raging praise kink but would rather die than admit it. Touch her hair and you die (at first. After some time she’s okay with it being stroked or brushed out of the way, especially while she’s sucking Kuvira off). Generally rather sensitive and vocal so is very fun to play with, but she doesn’t let herself lean into it fully, and thus is extremely unaware of her submissive side. After she starts healing from her trauma and trusting Kuvira more, on the other hand… 🤭 She is still very much capable of domming or topping of Kuvira so desires, but for the most part she can’t get enough of letting herself be guided into the subspace and giving her brain a little break, willing handing Kuvira the control and trusting that she will be taken good care of. Discovers her oral fixation and leans into the praise kink, as well as riding Kuvira’s strap, having her tits fucked, imagining Kuvira being able to actually come down her throat or inside her, general BDSM stuff, bondage, light petplay, dehumanisation, ownership and edging. So, so much edging 🤤. It gets to a point when she’s not even too keen on coming at all, not wanting the experience to end. But she does love her orgasms, especially when she’s nice and full, so sooner or later she will end up begging for it anyway :D I very much might have missed something, but in my defence, there really is a lot to her
UtOS – Somehow, the complete opposite to SotRL Suiren. Extremely dominant, loves being in control and isn’t too fond of giving it up. Essentially, power bottom to Kuvira’s service top, though she does also love having Kuvira writhe on her water tendrils. Can and will use her bloodbending to her advantage once she finds out Kuvira likes being overstimulated, and heavily leans into the possessiveness kink by calling Kuvira hers as often as possible. Drops orders and light degradation as easily as breathing, and while she does enjoy being praised, it’s to a much, much lesser degree than her SotRL counterpart. Less being called a good girl and more being thanked for giving it to Kuvira so well. A bit of a sadist and somehow even more of a biter than usual. All in all… Grandma Ikiaq is a bad influence 😁
Ultimate AU – Looks like the dominance depends on the bloodbending rather than not being raised by Haya, because we’re back to something more closely resembling SotRL. Except here, Suiren is an impossible tease. Every Suiren knows full well that she’s attractive, but this is the only one who flaunts it quite as openly, wearing almost exclusively low cut dresses, putting an extra sway in her hips as she walks, always squinting at Kuvira in that seductive way… all that good stuff. And as a result of being a tease, she’s also one hell of a brat just begging to be tamed. She’s known nothing but freedom her whole life, so there’s little quite as enticing as the idea of having control forcibly taken from her. She likes being restrained after Kuvira gets sick of being teased and snaps, and fucked as roughly and thoroughly as possible. Most likely is incredible at giving tit fucks while her dress is still mostly on, just with her tits popped out. Is okay with having her hair pulled as long as it’s done lightly. The praise kink also isn’t that prominent, she’s much more into soft cuddles – in which Kuvira is *not allowed* to move as if a cat had fallen asleep in her lap – as a form of aftercare
MoA – I don’t have much on her bc this AU is rather underdeveloped, but she’s essentially pre-discovery-of-submissiveness SotRL Suiren, but even more repressed because the load she carried for her entire life was doubled and having to dispose of her abuser’s body after she was killed by her 15yo sister did absolute fucking wonders for her mental state. A bit more on the controlling side, preferring to take charge. Very into angry sex bordering on hatefucking, will ride Kuvira like her life depends on it to the point of hurt. Insults and death threats take the place of normal well adjusted flirting. Is nowhere near ready to be indulged in her even more well hidden praise kink, would probably claw Kuvira’s eyes out if she ever tried. Perhaps she should get a taste of Kuvira’s newly formed spirit cock and maybe she’ll calm down
Sacrifice AU – Easily the most vanilla out of all her counterparts. After her near death experience she’s extremely averse to all manners of being restrained, whether with metal cuffs or simply being held down. Her wrists are particularly sensitive, never to be grabbed. She doesn’t like being manhandled in any way, she gets to pick the position, and she picks something that will allow her to be on top and not trapped under Kuvira. Prefers grinding or humping to anything being inside her, be it fingers or a cock. Still just as obsessed with having her tits sucked, but it has to be lighter, not enough to leave bruises. She doesn’t like seeing bruises on herself. Praise kink to the max, anything to drown out the voices always shouting obscenities at her. Only while being called beautiful and desirable as she rides out her orgasm, clinging to Kuvira like a lifeline, does she actually feel alive again
Small rarely talked about bonus, Avatar Suiren AU – Living as an all powerful being with not one but two Great Spirits residing inside her gets very tiring very easily. Luckily, a certain someone is always willing to help her mind to drift away and her to lose herself in pleasure for a few hours. A bit more into degradation than praise. In those moments, she isn’t the Avatar, the master of all four elements, saviour of the world, and the memories of lives that came before her as well as those annoying Spirit kites’ constant bickering all fade away. No, in those moments she is simply Suiren, Kuvira’s Suiren, her beloved good girl. And nothing else could possibly matter
#I know there is also mermaid Suiren but I really wasn’t up to figuring out mermaid anatomy right now#she isn’t part of this current snippet anyway so who cares#I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it#but that aside#this is NOT going on the main blog thank you very much#Kat. however. is fully free to reblog this#and add whatever she likes 😁#I just don’t want it on my main#I don’t really have the energy for a lot of tags rn bc I just finished typing this all out#didn’t even proofread it#but I hope this can serve as some good inspiration 🤭#and I’m working on the other parts of your gift!!#hoping to finish part 2 tonight and part 3 while I’m at my grandmas tomorrow#but we’ll see#also originally there were only supposed to be 2 parts but then this came up randomly#so now there are 3 :D#anyway. hope you enjoy!!#and I’ll be looking forward to hearing any.. thoughts you may have#if you get what I mean 👀🔥#all of this can be summarised by ‘Nia turned 18 and went off the rails’ lmao#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#sotrl suiren#<— and all other versions of her#kuviren
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maybe ive said it before, but i feel like im going to pick up a lot of habits my parents had, like smoking and drinking extremely unhealthy amounts of cigarettes and alcohol
#kind of a vent#i mean. i dont know this for sure. and i could definitely pick up those habits not because of my parents.#thats not even what im really saying. i strongly dont think i would pick up those habits solely *because* of them anyway#i just for whatever reason have that feeling that ill end up like them (hopefully not)#i personally dont think i will ever get in to smoking. i dont see the appeal or how it makes someone 'cool'#of course ive never done it so maybe i dont understand. but i really dont want to fuck up my health or put others in any danger#im pretty sure im so turned off because of red ribbon week at school but i feel like that education about smoking is helpful#because of school my sibling and i got both of our parents away from smoking which i think they were grateful for#my dad used to smoke a lot and would chainsmoke as well as go through a number of packs in one day#i dont think my mom ever smoked that much but she still smoked since she was 17 or 18. she's returned to it to cope with a relative's d*ath#im not convincing her to stop but i worry about her health. i dont think she cares just as long as my nana doesnt see her pack or lighter#as for drinking my dad nearly became an alcoholic at one point and has since tried to cut back#smoking and drinking are so common that i dont really know why i worry about being completely clean in my own lifetime#i mean im having my first drink on my 21st birthday. ive only ever tried a taste of wine and hated it so jve never drank before#i mean all of this more as. i guess ending up on that deeper end like my parents. i hope i dont and i never want to
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:/
#this was. not prompted by anything recent i’m just thinking about it#but idk Why my friends feel compelled to make jokes about me hating butches????#like it’s obviously not TRUE….. and like i shouldn’t get upset if it’s not true but#it resurfaces a time of my life (think. when i was like 18) that is really really embarassing#it just makes me feel like i haven’t changed. which i have#and i know it’s all jokes and almost always has to do with discussing characters from stuff or whatever#but still. it feels like that kind of mean spirited joking where you’re actually kind of seriously making an accusation underneath the joke#ykwim#anyways. i love butches and these jokes are dumb and the next time one is made i will say something fr#bc i don’t wanna be stuck as the image of me who is fresh out of high school. jesus christ#i think the main one i’m thinking of is like#i had mentioned that i used to not think that jaina from naddpod was hot#when like. she clearly is. and also is implied to be butch or at least my friends hc her as butch#and everyone dogpiled on me and was like SO YOU HATE BUTCHES#and like i tried to earnestly be like No why would you say that 😭 but nobody paid me any mind. idk#it’s happened at other times in a similar way and again it’s a JOKE but it still gets to me#diary
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2023 reads // twitter thread
This Doesn’t Mean Anything
NA contemporary romance about a sex-repulsed girl starting uni and meeting an upperclassman who hangs out in the same study room and coffeeshop as she does
struggling with her asexuality, new friendships, and harassment
#This Doesn’t Mean Anything#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#well.#I was overall enjoying the first half of this! then it went to shit lol#for one. WAY TOO LONG. but also feels like scenes would be very short then skip to the next day#I liked how the first half of the book was just developing the relationship as a friendship.#there’s a conflict at 50% and they literally are terrible to each other for almost the entire rest of the book#also the conflict of why they can’t get together feels manufacured.#he feels like he (21) is too old for her (18) and while i’m like…yeah I understand that im iffy about it too;#as the reader we know they’re going to get together anyway. so it just feels stupid. and made that way just to cause a conflict. which lasts#too long.#2)#then men are SO overprotective to the point it’s kinda. not creepy exactly but like why the fuck can none of these women go anywhere without#a dude accompanying them? the MMC even. when she tells him to leave her alone (because he rejected her) he’s still being all protective and#and calling her sweetheart like I started to actively dislike him. it’s like. borderline manipulative ‘nice guy’#THEN it threw in a SA at 80% or whatever which. a) can we not SA our ace characters and b) is just not handled well. it feels like an excuse#to make them hurt/comfort and then get together aka end their conflict. which. oof.#3)#‘i was looking up why i dont want sex and i saw the word asexuality but couldn’t find much else maybe the GSA could help’#you can’t use info-not-on-the-internet as a plot excuse when. there is endless info about that on the internet? I don’t think this is set in#2005? also she doesnt even go ask the gsa#while her sex repulsion is a significant part of the book actual references to asexuality are extremely brief and half of it is shoved into#the last chapters. and it’s almost entirely her being self hating and the LI affirming her#anyway I can see the INTENTION is good here; the quality of writing just makes it all bad#like maybe these things are the author's experience and that's fine. the way it's written is uncomfortable.#i can tell all the 5* reviews are people who have never read an ace book before. i promise there is better#i think there’s gonna be a companion sequel about her roommate being aroace which. I don’t have super high hopes for writing-wise but I gues#guess I'm interested
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#vent post uwu havent seen those in a while have we <33#looks like a depressive episode again#aw shucks#:/#laid in bed all day. did absolutely nothing. slept for 18 hours.#havent washed my hair since saturday. havent taken my thyroid meds in three days so idk that may have sth to do with this too ig#my flat is a total mess and im ignoring all uni groupchats (uni itself as well) and non-groupchats too.#only pretending im Normal to my best friend even tho she explicitly asked me to tell her when im feeling Bad and she does reach out to me#with her problems but i just cant bring myself to talk to her about mine#also i miss my ed so badly i need it back desperately. and i mean DESPERATELY.#anyway. something is seriously seriously wrong with me rn. like fr.#and i still haven't found the earring kms#had a bit of a ✨strongly suicidal✨ moment yesterday like it really made me go Wowwwwww girl hold yer horses cause yeah.#we havent seen that one in a while either#(no matter what my evil poll tags might have said lmao). anyway. absolutely horrible last two days.#and i once again feel like the worst and most useless and most disgusting person in the world.#my body is trash and there's nothing in this world that i hate more than it. i wish it would just. evaporate. whatever.#i hate it with a passion. peace and love.
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Something I don't get is when someone is talking about things being expensive and then some americans are like, it's not actually a scary $125 guys it's actually only $80 which is still a lot but it's actually kinda reasonable for the item
And it's like no!!! It doesn't work like that!!! Just because it costs less in usd doesn't mean the person didn't actually pay that much!!
If you buy a mug for $125aud, and you live in australia, you're paying that in $125aud, not $80aud!! Currency conversion doesn't matter in the slightest for understanding because in practice it is functionally the same as paying $125usd for a mug in america!!
If I earn $15cad/hr, and someone in Poland is earning 15zł/hr, and they bought an item that was like 150zł, me converting that price into Canadian and being like it's actually not that bad bc it's only like $50cad :), it doesn't change the fact that that for them!! It was a lot more!! Like functionally that's the same as $150cad
Functionally 1cad = 1zł = 1aud = 1usd = 100¥
Like the only time currency conversion is useful is for figuring out how far your coin goes when used in another economy, not for understanding if an item is or isn't expensive for a person living in said economy
#op#i dont go on tiktok often but. a few weeks ago there was a thing with this influencer who bought a mug and didnt see the price first and was#shocked to see it was $125 and there was a lotta discourse about it even tho she wasnt really mean about the cup or anything#and there were people in the comments being like oh 80usd that's not as bad as i thought it was (prev thinking it was $125usd)#and i just. aughhhh#gestures wildly at my post#anyway. unless im buying something in another country i just cannot see the point in currency conversion for figuring out if something's#expensive in that currency#like gimme ur min wage/is there a functional equivalent of a dollar/monthly or yearly cost of living#and like yeah it's not perfect but imo its soo much better to understand things#im sure a repeated some things here but whatevs#this is also good for more accurate despair when buying anything in euros/pounds bc it may only be 18£ for them#but comparatively for me id have to spend like £30 😩#currency conversion hell euros are basically double canadian#also if im wrong on any price things do correct me. pretty sure my equivalents are correct but ive only ever lived in canada so :p#rant done now lol#does anything i said make sense? who knows. will i attempt to bury this in reblogs? absolutely!
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IGNORE ME I'M SORRY I KEEP TALKING ABT IT i'm just so not used to my cat not being around and it kinda kills me inside to not hear him walking around or meowing or sleeping at the bottom of the staircase anymore... it used to be like a nightly routine where i'd go downstairs and make myself a drink and give him some water and now i just. don't even wanna go down there anymore.
#you really underestimate how different things will be when they're gone. 18 years of learning his new routines and favorite places to nap#and it's just all. gone. not like i didn't experience it but just the fact that i will never experience it with him again... it's so hard#& that's like the last vestige of my childhood gone too. i mean i got my current dog when i was around 13/14 and she's gettin' up there too#so it's just like. my life dropped out from under me and i'm desperately clinging to what is left but there's not much#everything feels so hollow and i don't know hoe to vocalize that because my family is always trying so hard to heal and i don't want to#make their grief process any harder by accidentally awakening the same latent feelings in them. or whatever#i just miss him so so much but i know we made the right choice. he was old and we had a lot of good years together and we saved him from#spending his last few days in suffering by ending his pain early and offering him as much love and warmth and comfort as we could#and i know he appreaciated it and i know he loves us all and like that's not the part i have issue with#it's just. his lack of presence. i don't deny that his ghost may be around (my famjly is very spiritual like that and i have heard him) but#physically he's gone forever except for chunks of his fur and whatever else is laying around#loss is just so fucking unfair because it's completely understandable and makes total sense but it will never ever be unable to be felt...#idk. i'm just exhausted and sad and i miss my little guy. hell i still miss my dog and that happened like 5 years ago#love never goes away it just changes shaoe and makes you really really sad and kinda wanna kill youself but that would make THEM sad#so. you gotta live. you gotta be brave.
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I gotta talk abt this here 2 becos it’s just so perplexing. Loke. I’ve never rlly bothered to check before because I only rlly got fixated on LoZ recently and like. I had seen so much stuff online of people sexualizing or in general just like. drooling over Link. so I figured he had to be over 18. but. I just looked it up, and in every single incarnation Link is 17 and under. TOTK is the first game (to my knowledge) where Link is above the age of 18. What the hell guys.?.??..? Why have I not seen anyone talk abt this b4😭😭 Like. This changes Everything. Link x Sidon and Link x Revali are very much illegal (Revali is 21? In his 20s at least. And Sidon is not only a 100+ yr old Zora, but like. He’s like. 120+. So even tho zora age slowly he’s still like, equivalent to 20 something probably. This goes for all other champion ships too, these r just the two I see the most). And like. All these adults I’ve seen and am still seeing sexualize link online have been talking abt a 17 year old boy this whole time. Uhmm! I just found that interesting! Uhm!
#like is this just normal in the LoZ fandom??????#I’m so vexed and perturbed#no way these people have just not known his age the whole time too#maybe casual fans like I used to be wouldnt know but like. still?#he’s like 10 in the first game and 16 in adventure of link#and like. in the incarnations where he isn’t a little kid he’s never been older than 17#until TOTK.#and even then his age in TOTK isn’t like confirmed to my knowledge. he’s either 18 or 20 something.#ALSO I was just looking and apparently Mipha was like 55 when she knew Link and that correlated to his age. like dog years to human years#so Sidon being 135 (just looked it up) means he’s like… idek. idk how exactly Zora age but I imagine that’s older than 17#id like to hope I’m just a rlly uninformed new Zelda fan but like it’s hard to believe that there’s a way to justify any of this? idk#maybe it’s just me? maybe I’m the odd one here#(I rlly don’t think I am but whatever)#tloz#botw#rant#?#iguesss#brainrot
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hate being sick fr
#hate it in general but oh god the timing is so bad#i was supposed to go buy some little presents for this kid in my family cause she's coming over with her parents (my dad's cousin + his wife#and i already planned on going to the japan town and buying these cute stationaries + a case since she likes that kinda stuff#and i was going to go and have lunch there and eat good food and dessert and have a good time on my own like i love to do#but i started feeling off during my morning classes and went back home and i have a fever#but if it was just for today whatever#BUT IN 4 DAYS IT'S CARNAVAL!!! THE FIRST SINCE BEFORE THE PANDEMIC!!! AND CONSEQUENTLY MY FIRST ONE AS AN ADULT!!!!#i absolutely cannot be sick then like i will legit cry#i've been looking forward to this so much#i've made plans with like 3 different friend groups for different days#plus on saturday my brothers my brother's girlfriend and i are supposed to party together#and i've been looking forward to it cause my oldest brother always said that when i turned 18 he'd take me and the middle brother to carnava#but then i turned 18 in the first year of the pandemic and 19 in the second and last year it was still pretty bad so no carnaval again#so like i hate being sick in general but i can't stay sick like i refuse#i think i it's tonsilitis cause my friend had it like last week and we shared drinks before she found out she had it#if that's the case it means antibiotics for like a week which means no drinking for me during carnaval#which... yeah i'm prob gonna ignore it if i feel better by saturday
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older!rafe and sensitive!reader spending the holidays together
18+ mdni!
c/w: fluff, her ovulating and being horny, smut: p-in-v, slight breeding kink, use of dad
wc: 1.5k
ugh i’ve missed this man
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“Why is he doin’ that shit?”
“Rafe, it’s a rom-com,” she reasons, practically glued to him on their couch with the way she keeps shifting closer and closer, almost unconsciously at this point.
“Yeah, a shitty one. Why was it necessary to do a whole fuckin’ speech at the mall? He couldn’t jus’ I dunno, tell her how he felt?” he scoffs, clearly fed up with the entire film already.
She can’t stop the bubbly laughter from escaping her when she looks over to his scowling face. “I mean, this is actually getting kinda weird…why’s everyone watching them?”
“Yeah, ‘n why are they still on that fuckin’ stage?” he grumbles while the couple is now fully making out on the TV screen.
“Please don’t ever do anything like that to me.”
“Yeah, was actually gonna ask, you, uh, you wanna go shoppin’ tomorrow?”
“No!” she giggles before taking a sip of the hot chocolate she’d made for herself (because Rafe deliberately told her he didn’t want any) but the minute she’d sat down with the mug in hand, he’d wanted to try it, which ended up with him drinking nearly half of it.
“Oh shit, forgot to give you this earlier, look what I got you today,” he suddenly murmurs.
“Hm?” her eyes flit over to his face; momentarily distracted by his pretty features as he searches for something from the back pocket of his pants. Then, he’s pulling a golden necklace from a velvety box.
“That looks really expensive,” she nervously mumbles, pausing the TV in order to concentrate on the heart-shaped locket he’s holding out to her.
“You deserve the fuckin’ world, it was nothin’ alright? Can think of it as an early Christmas present if it makes you feel better,” he rolls his eyes, almost exasperated that she still can’t seem to comprehend the fact that he enjoys spending his money on her.
“It’s so beautiful,” she croons as she inspects the piece of jewelry with careful fingertips, heart swelling in her chest at the sentiment— recalling how she’d mentioned something about thinking pendants like these were adorable maybe once.
“Yeah? You like it?”
“I love it. Wait, you had your initials carved into it too? That’s so cute, Ray, what the hell?” she feels her eyes grow watery because her boyfriend really is her favorite person in the whole wide world for a reason.
“Yeah, know you’re into sappy shit like that, ‘n you can put m’picture inside too ‘n you’ll always have me with you or whatever the fuck.”
“Shut up, you’re so sweet! I love you,” she exclaims before she’s wrapping her arms around his neck— climbing into his lap in the process while he murmurs into her hair how he apparently ‘loves her more’, which she thinks is not possible.
“Let me put it on you?” he says before he’s swiping away some strands in order to clasp the locket around her neck. “Look so pretty with m’name on you.”
“Wait, you should have my name on you too,” she jokingly utters out next.
“Been thinkin’ about gettin’ it tattooed actually,” he admits, completely serious, which makes her face scrunch up.
“You’re not getting my name tattooed on you— you’re crazy,” she softly hits his chest. However, he can barely even feel it because she really doesn’t have a single violent bone in her body.
“Yeah, crazy ‘bout you,” he grins, eliciting an airy giggle from her.
Knowing she’s about to complain about him being weird again, he shuts her up with a press of his mouth against hers— a surprised noise leaving her when she’s momentarily taken aback by the sudden cushion of his lips.
And it’s sloppy, the way they slot together like puzzle pieces when she opens up for him, but both of them prefer it that way.
His kiss was meant to be something sweet but soon enough she’s rutting against him— whimpering into his mouth as if it’s been years since the last time they did this. And all too soon for her liking, he’s pulling away.
“Somethin’ you want?”
“…no,” she lies through her teeth.
“No? Jus’ uh, humpin’ me like a bitch in heat for no reason then, hm?” he raises his brows; eyes fixed on her frustrated features.
“Ray...” she huffs out; a frown already forming on her spit-slicked lips.
“Yeah?” he asks, giving her a soft peck as encouragement.
“Want you…” she pants against his mouth.
“But m’right here?” the furrow of his brows displays faux confusion.
“You know what I mean,” she whines; shifting around in his lap some more.
“M’afraid I don’t. If there’s somethin’ you want, you gonna have to tell me,” the edge of his mouth curls annoyingly when he decides to toy with her, always finding so much entertainment from her struggle.
However, she merely grants him another whine.
“Wha’s up with you today, hm? So fuckin’ needy, actin’ like you haven’t been fucked in a month when you were literally cryin’ on m’cock last night?” he murmurs while thumbing at her pouty bottom lip.
“I don’t know…jus’ need you so bad,” her eyes begin to gloss over when he’s still not giving her what she so desperately craves.
“Baby, there’s no need to cry, yeah?” he sticks his thumb past her lips; an attempt to placate her, even if he thinks she never looks prettier than with her eyes all wet and forlorn.
“You’re ovulatin’ right now, aren’t ya?” his brain finally fits together the very telltale signs as he plucks his phone from the coffee table— opening the app that tracks her period cycle.
“Think so, yeah,” she mumbles, mindlessly sucking on the digit resting on her tongue as she sniffles.
It’s no surprise to either of them when his assumption proves to be right.
“Think you need me to fuck a baby in you, s’that it? Wanna make me a real daddy?” he croons.
“Mhm…want you,” her words are muffled around his thumb.
“I know, sweetheart. Don’t want anyone but you carryin’ m’kids— think about knockin’ you up so fuckin’ often, you know?”
“You do?”
“Yeah, know you’d be such a good mom.”
“You think? I think you’d be the best dad, sometimes wish you were my dad,” she rambles mindlessly, the conversation suddenly teetering on the edge of something else entirely.
“Shit, such an angel face ‘n then there’s this rotten mind inside, huh?” he tuts in disapproval, appearing disgusted as if he doesn’t get even harder in response to her words— something raw, primitive stirring in the pit of his stomach whenever she says things like that.
“M’sorry dad,” she offers him an impish smile.
“Someone’s in a mood today?” he chuckles, narrowing his eyes in a playful manner.
“Can you take off your pants?” she complains while attempting to loosen his belt but with her mind buzzing like a honeybee it’s proving to be a rather demanding.
“Can’t do anythin’ without dad’s help, can you? Go on, let’s see if you can take me out by yourself, yeah?” he rasps out, tone challenging.
“No, need your help, daddy, I can’t—”
“Shit, you’re fuckin’ pathetic,” he murmurs, somehow managing to turn something so patronizing into something affectionate as he swats away her helpless hands and yanks the belt open himself.
“See? Not that fuckin’ hard, was it?” he mutters out as his thumb slips out of her mouth before he’s pulling himself out. And even if he’s not even fully hard yet, and she’s seen it more times than she can count, she’s still mesmerized by the sight— eyes rounding out while she simply stares as if she’s under some spell.
“You’re so pretty,” she blinks at him, eyes moony.
“Still not tired of seein’ it, huh?”
She shakes her head.
And since she’s not wearing any pants (as usual), he only has to tug the fabric of her underwear to the side in order to reveal her messy cunt.
“Ray…” she whines when he merely smears the drippy head over her folds; thudding it against her clit to get her to whimper some more.
“Hm? Want it inside? Wha’s the magic word?” he looks at her with something amused twinkling in his eyes.
“Please. Dad, it hurts,” she sniffles, desperately trying to rub against him in an attempt to alleviate the ache.
“Hurts? Think you bein’ a little dramatic, no?” he lets out a breathy chuckle, making her huff out in frustration.
“M’not, Ray, please, need you so bad,” wet droplets stain her cheeks while she tries to uselessly blink them away.
“Shh, s’okay. Dad’s bein’ mean again, isn’t he? M’sorry, baby, I’ll give you what you want, yeah?” his voice is a deep rumble before he’s finally tucking the tip into her weepy cunt, causing both of them to moan in tandem when she practically sucks him in— his fingerprints denting the skin of her thighs when he aids her movements to his liking.
“Yeah? That what you wanted? Always such a tight fuckin’ fit, huh?” he grunts against her mouth; hips meeting hers halfway as he stuffs himself deeper.
“Mm, I love you,” she whimpers— practically feeling him in her guts as his cock pokes at the spongy spot inside her while his big hands help situate her on top of him, and she thinks this might just be heaven on earth.
#did i write this a few weeks ago while *i*was ovulating?#no (yes)#older!rafe#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#older!rafe cameron#outerbanks rafe#obx rafe cameron#rafe smut#rafe fluff#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron obx#rafe cameron au#rafe cameron scenarios#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron blurb#rafe blurb#rafe au
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