#I mean look what happened in empires
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#witchcraft smp#witch craft smp#joey graceffa#zombiecleo#zombie cleo#scott smajor#prismarina plays#ihascupquake#shubble#soupforeloise#laurenzside#the orion sound#because obviously Oli will somehow win#despite not being in the series#definitely#I mean look what happened in empires#tumblr polls
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The story of these two men is my Roman Empire.
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Yuri Gagarin and Vladimir Komarov were highly decorated Cosmonauts, both of which made firsts in the history of space flight.
Yuri Gagarin famously became the first man in space on April 12, 1961.
Vladimir Komarov piloted Voshkod 1 on October 12, 1964 on the first space mission to carry multiple crew members. He flew again aboard Soyuz 1 on April 23, 1967, becoming the first Russian man to make two spaceflights.
Yuri Gagarin and Vladimir Komarov were close.
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The Soyuz 1 was described as being “a piece of shit” and a “devil ship” as issues plagued the spacecraft throughout development and failed testing. Yuri had done everything he could to get the launch postponed, including writing a ten-page memo detailing the 203 structural problems he had discovered during inspection of the Soyuz 1. Any person who had laid eyes on the memo would be fired or demoted.
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Komarov knew of these issues, but refused to step down from the missions. In March of 1987 he met with Venyamin Russayev, a then-recently-demoted KGB agent who had been assigned to "mind" Yuri Gagarin.
He met with Russayev and said, "I'm not going to make it back from this flight." Russayev asked, “Why not refuse?” Komarov answered: "If I don't make this flight, they'll send the backup pilot instead." That was Yuri Gagarin. Komarov couldn't do that to his friend. "That's Yura. And he'll die instead of me. We've got to take care of him." Komarov then burst into tears.
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Yuri, nicknamed Yura by friends and family, showed up on the day of the launch “demanding to be put into a space suit,” "demanding this and this and this...", doing anything and everything he could to be the one on that spacecraft instead of Vladimir. Unfortunately, his attempts were be futile.
Soyuz 1 would launch on April 23, 1967 and faced serious issues throughout the flight. The parachutes failed to deploy during reentry and the spacecraft burned up while Vladimir screamed and cried and cursed out those responsible.
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Yuri Gagarin was grounded from future space flights and denied permission to pilot military jets. This was devastating for the already deeply depressed man and everyone knew it. Even his favorite hairdresser said that “Yuri couldn't live without flying. It was his whole life. A man can't live without his trade. He can't survive.”
He eventually convinced them to let him fly, but on March 28, 1968, less than a year since Komarov’s accident, he was tragically killed during a routine-training flight aboard a MiG-15. The cause of the accident is unclear, though many speculate that the accident was an assassination on the cosmonaut as he had a falling out with several high-ranking officials following the death of his close friend.
Both Yuri Gagarin and Vladimir Komarov’s names are featured on the memorial for fallen US Astronauts and USSR Cosmonauts left on the moon by the Apollo 11 crew.
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#I KNOW FOR A FACT I read somewhere that Yuri dug through the crash site for his remains but I can’t remember 😭😭😭#DID I MENTION HE’S 5’ 2???#there’s tons of controversy surrounding what’s right and wrong but regardless their story is tragic#and I mean tons of controversy btw#there’s absolutely no way for us to know what’s right and what’s wrong#we’ll never know what actually happened but we all know what should (or should I say shouldn’t) have happened#look at how they look at each other and tell me there’s not *something* there#space race#Cold War#Soyuz 1#Yuri Gagarin#Vladimir Komarov#cosmonaut#research#information#THIS is my Roman Empire fr#like these two deserved better 😭
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Me, walking out of the cinema after watching Frozen Empire: Well that was terrible and forgettable and disappointing and I didn't like it at all.
Me, over a month later: I have LITERALLY not thought of anything but Phoebe and Melody and the other silly little characters in this film for like five weeks straight it's becoming a slight problem- What? Oh yeah, I didn't like the film at all. anyway here's my Checkmatch playlist and all the fanfic I've read-
#I genuinely do not understand how this has happened#I have thought about the characters CHRONICALLY for weeks now I DONT GET IT#like when I say I didn't like the film I MEAN it I really really didn't#it was a bad film#it was a terrible ghostbusters franchise installation (in my opinion obv. I get people liked it and ofc that's fine)#and you should've seen my face during 80% of it#BUT DESPITE THAT#DESPITE FUCKING THAT#my brain has decided to absolutely fixate on these goddamn characters and their relationships and their lives because like#film was bad but the characters were banging 😭#I absolutely adore the original two films but I didn't even fixate on them as much as I have with this one#Seriously what the fuck happened I'm being serious this is concerning 😭😭#like I genuinely love the characters I really do and I think that's probably why#I thought this about afterlife tbh#like I remember thinking about it for a surprising amount of time after because the characters were cool#like this one tho. bad asf film I disliked it a lot#banging characters tho. again.#like wtf#girl wtf is this#HOW is this happening#Ghostbusters#ghostbusters frozen empire#ghostbusters afterlife#Phoebe Spengler#melody ghostbusters#checkmatch#I blame checkmatch actually#I think that's what set if off lmao#having a sapphic relationship to absolutely fixate on because I see so little of it in the media that the second it's implied I'm like#'oh my GOD LOOK THEYRE LIKE ME THATS AMAZING AAA'
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I love these books so much but holy shit does carthak’s worldbuilding drive me crazy
#like okay. I can ignore the funky parts of worldbuilding for most of it because most of it is in Tortall and the bits you see#are like really COOL and add a lot of depth other vaguely real life vaguely Europe fantasy worlds don’t do#big fan of everything happening past tortall#but carthak and the copper isles drive me batshit#Carthak is worse for me because I studied the Middle East/swana/west Asia whatever you wanna call those areas#plus a decent amount of Central Asia#and very specifically the linguistic and social development#and it’s bad enough that all of Africa is kinda mixed in with it#but none of it makes logical sense to my brain because it’s all thrown together#I’m trying to write a fic set in Carthak and keep getting distracted and making it even longer because I’m trying to make the worldbuilding#make logical sense#like I’m basing it vaguely on the Islamic empire at its largest extent which is what I think it’s supposed to be#with the bazhir as an alandalus equivalent that got separated from the empire then conquered#like fine. that works.#but having the Nile equivalent in the west is really fucking with me#also the implication that china is in the west hwat do you mean china is in the west but central asia is in the east#I just wanted to write a toxic ot3 getting together/breaking up fic about how Ozorne is both Varice and Arram’s freedom and prison okay#now it has an entire year of plot#either the distances in this world are really really fucking small or really fucking massive#and/or they have fascinating levels of ship based cultural exchange that tortall has managed to avoid entirely#also fuck basing ozorne on ozzy Osborne I’m making him look like my old classmate#I’ve started making worldbuilding decisions based on which accent I want people to have
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are you still cooking your half nabatean lycaon AU ? If you're interested, there are some fics on Ao3 about him! In a more serious setting though he wouldn't be outed as a half nabatean
I've seen them!
Soon, he will have 10 properly tagged fics on AO3 !
(and i've read them all lol)
I think I can see what fic you're talking about in the "more serious setting" lol, but first let it be a "Rhea blows up Seteth's microwave by reheating a ravioli can AU" or a "WoH storytelling" AU, I suppose fics are fics, and they're both "serious" in their own way.
Maybe you meant "serious" as in the most "canon compliant" - still taking into consideration that we're talking about fanfics, aka, headcanons?
Discussing about headcanons - the way reasonable people do - is much like discussing about your favourite recipe, it's ultimately a matter of taste - You're not saying the recipe of the person you're talking to sucks, but you just say you prefers yours and don't force it on anyone else.
Now, why I don't put carrot in my curries -
iirc in this fic I'm thinking of and you might be talking about anon, the premise was basically an alliance, Willy has to marry a lady to secure an alliance with her father and get Gronder on his side for his future conquest.
If Rhea tells him about bby!Lycaon and marries him, his wedding is annuled, no alliance means more warfare and Adrestia needs more time to gather troops to march on Nemesis.
If she doesn't, the son he and his wife were supposed to have dies in childbirth and Rhea swaps the babies so Lycaon is raised by his dad and his stepmom, no one knows his stepmom isn't his mom, save for Willy himself and the nabateans.
In this setting though, children between nabateans and humans will either be humans, or nabatean, so no half-nabatean hijinks (and Lycaon was born a human).
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This isn't the headcanon I'm rolling with - which prompted this entire cooking stuff lol - hybrid nabateans have more magic/power than humans, but less than full blooded nabateans.
With that being said, in a WoH setting, I couldn't legit see Rhea accepting to part or even to entrust her kid (half or not) to anyone else than her bros/relatives, maybe the trustworthy people of her Church and Willy himself.
But anyone else in Enbarr and its palace?
If the secret is out of the bag, Lycaon will become a dagger (or so she thinks!).
So he stays with his maternal family, or under their care.
Now, what about Willy?
The hc of the 120 bastard kids was just nonsense, but if we supposed Willy fucked like what the real world inspiration for Adrestia of old is supposed to be, I HC Willy should at least have some illegitimate kids.
Regarding the legitimate ones, what if he married someone, to form an alliance, and basically sealed it with the promise that their kid was going to become the next emperor?
It's plausible enough, that Willy survives the potential kid, due to receiving Rhea's crest he ages slower than his kid who might or not get a crest at birth (like the characters we see in FE16!).
With time, the alliance becomes void because hey, the heir isn't inheriting a thing since Willy's still alive and rocking his imperial armor - and looks younger than his own kid!
Should Willy contract a new alliance or would the people who joined him through this alliance bail out realising they would never have one of their people sit on Adrestia's throne ?
Or, even before realising that the "alliance made heir" will never get the throne since Willy can live up to 300 years, I got the idea/HC that Willy, much like your typical FE protag, starts with Bord'n'Cord and later ends up leading an army without needing to contract "alliances through marriages" to gain soldiers.
Both because of personal preferences lol, but also because it creates a precedent : if Willy marries the heir of land A who has 50 soldiers to offer in exchange of the throne, what if he later gets a proposal from land J who has 5k soldiers to offer for the same prize? If A's proposal looks good when Willy starts with 3 soldiers, later when he has 3k, wouldn't J's be better? In that situation, would A be casted away to have J instead?
However, the most serious issue in this "race for the throne" is, well, Rhea herself!
She's the Prophet who can perform miracles, totes call a giant divine beast to help her and is assisted by Saintly people who can perform the same miracles (and also maybe call giant divine beasts on their own?). The CoS has a lot of followers in Southern Fodlan, hell Enbarr is picked as the capital of the Empire because of Seiros' presence.
"300 devout randoms aren't the same as 300 soldiers and the CoS has no land to offer!"
Macuil is the source of magic and brags about it, what if he very relunctantly accepted to teach humans how to use magic, with the first humans he would have picked would have been the ones from the CoS? And we know Cichol's "blessing" makes lands grow more fertile, so while the CoS has no land to offer, the things they can offer are of a different worth.
Sure they're no 300 soldiers, but they bring mages and can create magic users + use magic/stuff to help Adrestia grow, as in, getting more food, healing and what not.
Add to that cocktail half-nab!Lycaon?
Like, there's a kid hanging out with the Saints - who looks like them - and is basically raised by them and hangs out with them, ages maybe as slowly as the Emperor, and is close to Seiros herself.
If there are any doubts about Lycaon's mom in the modern times, in this AU there would be none! Assuming Willy recognises him as his own, well, between heir X born out of an alliance to secure 50k soldiers to get the entire southern peninsula, and Jesus' son...
(hell even if Willy doesn't recognise him, he could still adopt him later on?)
Even if Lycaon isn't officialy in the race for the throne - by his sheer existence, he is a serious contestant, and all the more if the "human" heirs age as humans do, as opposed to Willy, Lycaon and the Saints.
Meritocracy happening means the young (?), martially talented, wise and fair (it might be a joke, but adrestians of old were lusting after nabateans in their stories/poems/songs...) Prince Lycaon has no competition for the throne, and it's not an alliance contracted 90 or 40 years ago that will be enough to push the claim of Prince/ss X over Lycaon's for the throne...
So the only solution to get rid of him is to push him down some stairs, and hope his death will be "natural" enough that people will believe he died of an illness - or maybe enlisting the help of some strange people wearing hoods and being really pale who promised to get rid of "this beast".
But I can't write/finish fics for shit lol, so i'm just throwing stuff here and there.
#Anon#replies#is it wolf (fe16)'s hours?#Fodlan AU#all jokes aside I really like the way the author writes and WoH fics are always welcome#even the egg'n'mayo sandwich ones#I'm not fond of some but give it a try maybe you'll find them to your taste?#look at me coming up with HC about a character we know nothing of save for his name his date of death and his dad#and yet i'm way more interested in Hresvelg 2 than in anyone from the student cast#(cyril doesn't count he's part of the faculty members and Flayn is a lizard)#wait AUception#what if the nonsense St Luca = Emperor Lycaon could be inserted in this 'raised by the nabs' AU#like young!Lycaon is Saint Luca he lives/fights/hangs out with the Saints#he gets babies too which maybe would have seen a surge in hybrid nabatean people in Enbarr and its surroundings#but then things in the 'Empire' side of his fam aren't looking so rosy his half-brothers/sisters are pissed bcs Willy's not dead yet and#it doesn't look like he'll die before them so the entire “I'm suppose to sit on the throne when am I going to sit on that damn chair” thing#happens but Willy dgaf#and maybe spits on them by adopting Saint Luca who is totally not his son by the way#who now becomes Lycaon - Rhea'd be like 'no' but if the kid is old enough to fight against Nemesis then what could happen in Enbarr?#'i can low diff Gloucester what do you mean Enbarr is too dangerous?'#and we know how it ends#fodlan nonense#fodlan HC#Fodlan fics#FE16#lizard family time?#War of heroes stuff#Adrestia stuff#sort of?
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the whole 'there are not very many Great Causes worth fighting for these days' from Julian scanned as WAY more out of touch than the moon landing thing for me the first time i read tsh
#like to the point of it being actively jarring when i got to him saying that#the secret history#'they landed on the moon??' well okay i guess it's not really their area#and they've been really out of touch with the news since it's also not really their area + they've been#off to the woods/a country house/etc and getting very drunk and killing deer and also people#i don't remember the exact dates re the moonlanding + the events of the book but like.#Sure. that's probably fair or at least kind of understandable#that could Feasably Happen On Accident at least#but julians like 'there isn't much worth fighting for these days' and um.#if you pay attention to literally anything happening in the world at any given moment at all. ever.#....what? literally what do you mean by this?#there have always been So So many Great Causes that people are dying for all the time constantly forever#and even if you've somehow managed to comoletely block out literally every piece of news/political development/etc#that's not really a reason to assume there Aren't. that's a reason to go like. well if there are any Great Causes left today then#I don't know about them. and even if we assume he's defining what makes a cause worth fighting for by classical values#and saying that that means for example that he wouldn't necessarily think of say the civil rights movement or liberatory movements etc#as fitting (which i think is also probably debatable- it comes to mind that the athenians valued (their own) freedom. political engagement#was valued but only the right kind from the right people. etc. what i'm saying is that#no i don't think they actually fit what julian would be thinking of as the classical mind's* idea of a great cause worth dying for#but also you could debate that/frame things differently/etc (*presumably there is a more particular subset of the population he has in mind#than just 'classical' or 'greek' in actuality. like. specifically those from whom we having writing/would have citizenship/etc.))#i'm certain there are plenty of arguments to be made. like plenty of people are fighting for various countries#it's not like wars or empires have stopped existing or other myriad conflicts have stopped existing#also in typing this i've realised he was maybe forshadowing henry's death#and now i need to go look up the exact quote and make another post i guess.#(also disclaimer that i'm aware i've phrased a lot of this clumsily. it is midnight these are the tags of a tumblr post and i am not sober.)#anyway to rephrase my initial point i just think with the moon landing thing that's One major event you missed.#if you're saying that there are No Great Causes Worth Fighting/Dying For (with the understanding that you think those are a thing#that can exist) then i think maybe you managed to skip out on hearing about significantly more#than just the one major event. that's much harder to manage i would think
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[ID: tags that read: #like the entire point is that You The Reader could be any one of these people #ticked by the system #blinded by propaganda #and before you know it you hae blood on your hand #fma is about what you do after that #how do you recover from that? #how do you pay the world back for that? /end ID]
“FMA is bad because it portrays war criminals as sympathetic, likable people” bro that’s the point. That’s the whole point. That is THE point. Did you think Ethnic Cleanser is some kind of special category of person that gets separated away from all the Good People at birth? Did you think there’s some kind of barn full of Genocide Doers that only gets deployed into the general public during world wars? Did you think assholes who do terrible shit in real life are never charming or likable or capable of doing good things and helping people? One of the best parts of FMA is how we the audience realize that some of our core protags have made irredeemable choices, and we have to reckon with the fact that they’re still people, with the unalienable rights and qualities thereof. Sorry if the Problematics aren’t constantly wearing a dunce cap and a list of all their crimes and this makes the media incomprehensible to you
#and at no point are any of them ever ‘forgiven’ for their crimes nor are they applauded for their later work fighting for justice#they bare the full weight of their choices and acknowledge nothing they do makes up for it but that they're obligated to do the work anyway#Roy and Riza make it their life goal to make sure they/everyone else involved is held accountable even if it means their eventual execution#they and the series fully acknowledge the horror of what happened and spare no bones about it#we live in a world with very similar horrors and we need to be able to imagine a better one that comes after#we need ideas for how genuine accountability and progress could look as we move forward. it's not a perfect ending but life won't be either#and for anyone that doesn’t know (cuz I didn’t til like a year ago) the author is of Ainu heritage#she wrote this with personal familial history of genocide at the hands of an empire
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i love how as you read more into tlt, the ninth house seems more and more normal. Like if i'm at an immoral evil government competition, and i use human fat as soap and animate skeletons to do menial labor, i'm gonna LOSE if my competition is the third house, represented by ianthe "who HASN'T eaten human flesh and fucked a corpse" tridentarius. My weird skeleton thing seems normal, suddenly. Well-adjusted, even. It's recycling. They're using resources in a sustainable way. Normal and regular and productive for a post-climate change apocalypse universe.
People go on and on about how Muir drops you into gtn hearing from the person who knows the least about whats happening, and does not hand hold the reader through the crazy shit that occurs, and that's all true. It truly is a crazy writing decision to make your first pov character come from the universe's equivalent of amish fundamentalists. But the reader is actually done a huge favor being dropped into the ninth house first, because we already understand that space is cold and what catholic nuns are, and what goths look like, and what lesbians are. Very little time is wasted in the first chunk of gtn ripping hair out of your head wondering what the fuck is going on, because for all of its strangeness, the ninth house is already the most familiar thing we're gonna get.
Because THEN we learn that this whole universe's medieval chivalry system is designed to groom people from CHILDREN to not only be exploited and used as human batteries for necromancers, but to LIKE it. to wax poetic about it. to confuse it for love, to write fucking academic papers about it! Then we learn about planet flipping, an act so horrific and violent it turns the planet's soul into a massive vengeful monster capable of killing GOD. Like what do you MEAN the animals "change"? Is this why noodle has six legs? I would MUCH prefer to wear skeleton makeup and repent forever if the alternative was to witness my family dog grow TWO EXTRA LIMBS because the planet he lived on fucking died. Suddenly, living in the asscrack of a planet where no light gets in seems like a sweet deal when the whole solar system is lit by a sun that MAKES YOU GO CRAZY. The ninth house's WORST sin, killing 200 babies to make Harrow, a waste of resources and an act so terrible it haunts Harrow for the entire span of her life, is like a BLIP compared to the death count Jod's empire. God even hears about it and he's like, no big deal! The cohort probably kills that amount of people in a DAY.
And its ALSO tragic because you realize that all of this trauma and abuse that Gideon goes through is not really because of the ninth house at all. It's really just an individual skill issue that she wasn't treated with compassion. Nobody hated her because she's jesus or a bomb, nobody even KNOWS she's a bomb. It's just Priamhark and Pelleamena being deeply guilty and scared people that motivates her treatment, and absolutely nothing else.
They did something bad, and they know it, and Gideon survived it, and they can't kill her to cover it up, and that's IT. They killed themselves for pride, because they were afraid of the consequences of their actions (both the baby killing and Harrow opening the tomb) coming back to bite them. You can argue this is the catholicism of it all, and I wouldn't say you're wrong, but compared to the cavalier system, where exploitation is in the very lining of the house's institutions, the ninth house is really removed from the space empire's blood factory. This is compared to the fourth house where they have tons of children to be CANNON FODDER to join the cohort at fucking 14, compared to the eight house uncle nephew fuckery, even the fifth house which actually does seems nice to live on but also seems to have the fourth house in some sort of fucked up political bear hug??? (maybe the fourth house has so many kids in order to fight the fifth's battles? which is EXACTLY what jod's whole empire is about; politely stirring your tea and acting nice while you destroy everything) compared to ALL OF THAT, the cruelty that Gideon faces is really more a bug of the ninth's system than a feature.
There's nothing baked into the culture and everyday life of the ninth house that necessitated that cruelty; in fact, for such a pragmatic and resource-scarce place, it's WEIRD that a strong able-bodied young person was treated like a waste of space and resources. It could just have easily not happened, if Harrow's parents had been different people. Maybe they were products of their environment, but so was Harrow, and she values Gideon's life SO MUCH that she'd literally rather carve out parts of her own brain than exploit her. Gideon grows up knowing really NOTHING about cavaliers, so remote from the horrors of the empire that she develops an idea of what the cohort is from porn magazines. And in a lot of ways, that upbringing was desolate and terrible, and in a lot of other ways it literally DID NOT HAVE TO BE.
Gideon's MAIN THING is that she wants to be useful, to be needed, to be loved and it SUCKS that she couldn't even get it in the one place where she was actually an invaluable resource, where the death empire had the weakest reach. Gideon can't even blame her lack of love on the fucked up chivalry system like everyone else can because it JUST WASNT REALLY RELEVENT!?!?! This is like if i rolled up to the trauma competition and everyone else was raised in a nuclear warzone by wolves or something and i grew up in like, the suburbs and was raised by teachers and i somehow STILL WON. truly what the fuck guys.
#tlt#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#tlt gender studies#none gender with left grief#the locked tomb trilogy
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REACTION SPEED [Heroic: failure] - a single ravioli, damp from the water, still pleasantly steaming, lands with a defeated slap, on the linoleum floor. You see it happen, watch it flip through the air, like an Olympic bronze off the high-dive, or a suicidal veteran of war. you feel yourself shout a "No!", but it is too late. there, the ravioli, impossibly, lays limp. FORSAKEN RAVIOLI - Why, it thinks, why me? For all the time I was grown and processed then crafted and for all the time I have waited for the only purpose which I was made for. To be cast so suddenly, so errantly, into the realm of the beyond? Beyond savior. DRAMA - And here you stand, clad like a captain with your wooden spoon, watching as an honorable soldier, nay, a man, lies without your hand to aid him, on the kitchen floor.
VOLITION - you must act, now! first it must be picked up, then its fate can be decided. COMPOSURE - Its fate is the trash. AUTHORITY - Its fate is the trash. YOU - You pick up the ravioli, it is hot, nearly still boiling, gushing steam and hot pasta blood down your hand. It hurts, but standing here, there is nowhere else for it. PERCEPTION - It looks fine... LOGIC - Don't do this. SHIVERS [Heroic: Success] - Somewhere southeast of here, perhaps hundreds of miles, grain sprouts in a field, rich wheat, and butternut squash, only an acre over. The wind whistles through the fields, running like gleeful children through the tiny, green plants. Some will be eaten by birds, worms, or moles, but some will reach high into the sky, where they will be plucked and ground into pasta dough. You have seen the birthplace of this soldier. It is humble, a beautiful childhood, and so, so long ago. An entire pasta-lifetime, now. FORSAKEN RAVIOLI - I thought I had finally made it. And with my brethren... YOU - You look at the bowl, the rest of the ravioli, steaming in mournful, pyrrhic celebration. My company... EMPATHY - This ravioli could be you. You can't give up on it now. Not because of your own mistake. AUTHORITY - This is not what a dignified man would do. send him off and mourn, perhaps, but do not spend one moment more considering his limp, cooling corpse. DRAMA - Where has your heart gone, O Honorable One? Authority - … EMPATHY - the greatest service you could do for this little soldier, and for all those beyond you that forged him, is to eat him. What else is rightfully to be done? VISUAL CALCULUS - It was on the floor for less than 4.7 whole seconds. ENCYLOPEDIA - most forms of bacterium are able to jump, especially to wet materials, in about 1.2- PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - any residue on your kitchen floor may well be material which was once already in your stomach. CONCEPTUALIZATION - if you think about it, that means you've already kind of eaten the ravioli.
INLAND EMPIRE - From the Floor, Of the Floor, To the Floor. To be, or not to be, one with this eternal cycle? ENDURANCE - Anything the floor could not contain, you could digest. (with VOLITION) We are iron. HALF LIGHT - Bite into its soft, warm flesh. EMPATHY - Give it peace. ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Eat the floor-violi, pasta slut! YOU - weeping, bring the ravioli to your lips, and then, impossibly, with infinite mercy, love, bring it into you. It tastes fantastic. You would have never know it was on the floor at all. You can feel the hum of satisfaction, the glory of it in your lungs, swelling to fill you more than even a pasta-feast could. This is the mercy you wish your God could cast on you, when you fall. KIM KITSURAGI - "Harry,"
#disco elysium#harrier du bois#kim kitsuragi#should i start writing fanfiction#a little dicklet of fanfiction#i think they call it a drabble#based on a true story#i drabbled everywhere sorry#needs to be drawn
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The Orc who you had fallen for, was the King’s personal guard! Although stern and menacing, he had always been kind to you.
You, the daughter of a Lord who worked on keeping the Queen company, answering her letters and mostly stayed out of sight of the King and his guard!
Since your families fortune was dwindling, your brothers securing marriages to rich young ladies, that made you the only one who wasn’t looked to much. Being a young woman in a family on the brink of ruin, meant that there wasn’t much for you to do other than try and get into the Regents good graces, and hope that you’d find a rich man who could take care of you.
But you’d never had such interest in men. It was always the King’s personal guard who caught your eye. Something about his stoic demeanour always made you feel safe, protected.
At first, you tried to keep your feelings a secret, there was no way that your family would approve of you harbouring such feelings towards the Orc, let alone even think about letting you marry him.
On a fateful night, where the King and Queen held a party, you were delighted when he approached you. You’d never taken him for being the one to make the first move. Not that you weren’t grateful.
That night, the pair of you had danced in the gardens were no one would see you, shared stolen kisses and giggled and laughed like you had never done before.
The pair of you promised to keep this a secret – nothing good would come of people knowing you two were together.
Not even the other Ladies in waiting knew about your relationship.
It was like something out of a novel. A forbidden romance, only a fantasy that could become a reality for a few glorious hours each time the pair of you got together.
It felt good to finally have someone notice you, tell you that you were beautiful, worthy of love and attention. He would leave you gifts in your chambers, with sweet little notes. They were mostly pieces of jewellery, necklaces, bracelets and broaches.
There was a part of you that hoped that one day, you would walk into your bedroom and find a small velvet box, containing a precious ring with that signature singular diamond that signified an engagement.
In one of your secret meetings, you did ask, “why don’t we just run away? Get married and leave all this behind?”
He had let out a snort, “darling, you wouldn’t last a day out there without all this granduer.”
You protested, “I could! I’d do it if it meant we could be together forever!”
At that, your lover had shot a glower at you. It surprised you, you’d never seen him look at you with so much contempt. “Well that’s never going to happen.” He said, harshly. “So get that silly idea out of your head.”
Your heart had chipped upon hearing that. Would it really be so bad to be married to one another? In domestic bliss?
After that conversation, he was cold to you. Colder than normal. He dodged you at every opportunity, even if it was just seeing each other in the halls, he would turn and stalk off in the opposite direction.
While you hadn’t meant to offend him, his reaction to the idea of you two being promised to one another was certainly an unwarranted one. He didn’t need to be so mean about it… but you loved him, and thought that maybe a big gesture of showing him how much you adored him would bring him back around.
So, one evening, you decided to bring a gift to him and deliver it personally. He was always giving you nice things, why couldn’t you do the same?
It was hard, choosing what to get him. What do you gift an Orc who has nearly everything handed to him just for being the King’s personal guard?
After a while, you finally decided. Your family was known for housing a baking empire, and thus, cooking was one of your families forte’s. And so you made him a cake.
With swirls of pink icing and cursive lettering on the top of the cake, you boxed it up after a days hard work and waited until night fall.
Your Orc lived just on the edges of the Palace grounds, and you would be undoubtably spotted if you went during the day. Donning a cloak and pulling up it’s hood, you left your quarters and headed for the Palace grounds.
The guards changed their shifts, and using the unmanned Palace doors, you darted through and raced to the edge of the grounds.
Now that you were on your way there, you realised that you’d never even been to his house before. Your Orc had never invited you, nor had you been close to it while accompanying walks with your Mistress, the Queen.
A tiny little cottage sat just at the edge of the Palaces’ garden walls, warm, inviting orange light flickering in it’s windows, puffs of smoke wafting out of the chimney.
You sped up your already hurried walk. Great, he was home. As you got closer, you saw shadows moving about inside the cottage and the silhouette of a woman.
The smile that had been spread across your face faded, your walk slowing down as you approached the cottage door.
A female Orc appeared in the window, a huge grin spread across her face as she laughed to someone unseen. You recognised her from the kitchens, she was always happy to talk to you about baking if you were ever bored and went down to see what the cooks were doing.
It had been a little while since you’d seen her.
You kept your distance, not wanting to be spotted in the dim lighting. As you watched, you realised that this she was pregnant. She must be on maternity leave then, it would explain her sudden absence in the kitchens.
But… why is she here? In your lovers house?
She was still smiling, nodding to the other person in the cottage with her, before she laughed again and beckoned her company closer.
The box in your hands slipped and split open, all your hard work splatting across the grass as you watched the love of your life, the King’s Guard pull the pregnant Orc into a hug.
Your Orc, your lover gave her a tight squeeze and then kissed her on the lips.
You couldn’t help yourself, you stared in horror as they walked away from the window and vanished further into the cottage.
Vision blurring, you gripped your skirts and bent down to pick up the ruined cake in front of you. Scooping the remains of the sweet treat into what remained of the box, tears fell.
You couldn’t believe it. You, were the other woman? To a pregnant lady who clearly had your lover wrapped tightly around her finger?
All the words you had exchanged, all the compliments and reassurances of your Orc… were lies? How could he do that to you?
The tears became too heavy and you couldn’t even see the cake in front of you anymore. Fingers covered in icing, you put your head in your hands, stood and ran off further into the Palace grounds.
You didn’t care if they found the cake out there, it’s not like people in the Palace wouldn’t find it strange that you came back covered in sugary sweetness.
It’s not like you could tell anyone of your affair either, everyone would look down on you, gossip and then you would never have a good life after that.
And your family’s reputation would be in the gutter. Their daughter, an adulteress and homewrecker? It didn’t matter that you never knew, your standing would still be tarnished.
A quiet trickle of running water hit your ears, causing you to stop your run and fall to your knees, no longer able to contain your shrieks of heartbreak.
How could you have been so stupid? Of course there was no way that an Orc like him and a Lady like yourself could have gotten married… or that someone as amazing as him would have fallen for a woman like you.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/58dd215589bc9dcc9992422e77655f09/a75c8bf150284de4-1f/s540x810/33723e4e2c26f015102b5efebaa5d797f553383f.jpg)
Part 2!
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Taglist <3 (forgot to add when this post first came out, sorry guys!)
@sunndust @greenie-c
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/58dd215589bc9dcc9992422e77655f09/a75c8bf150284de4-1f/s540x810/33723e4e2c26f015102b5efebaa5d797f553383f.jpg)
#monster lover#monster romance#monster x human#monster x female#orc fiction#monster x you#monster x reader#orc boyfriend#orc romance#orc x reader#orc x reader angst#orc x human#monster husband#monster x female!mc#orc x you#orc x female reader#orc x human reader
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4fea67379113cf90e2254fb36b12e248/a35f511588eccf6b-4e/s540x810/86945ee1c55d2623da154f5f84624f1d7fbb274b.jpg)
These tags are fuckin amazing I take them all as canon. Poor Din is so confused, his buir just broke their creed and looks like he’s about to make out with this old desert hermit he’s never seen before
Also make it fact in this au when the events of a new hope play out and Obi Wan is about to accept Darth Vader killing him, Cody starts blasting every weapon he has long enough to pick Obi Wan up and run off like “I just got you back you crazy bastard, you are NOT dying!!”
An interesting codywan au could be Cody’s chip breaking quickly after order 66. Not wanting to join the empire and thinking he killed Obi Wan, he’s able to find some mandalorian armor and settle on Concordia to hide out. Luckily he finds a tribe that vows to never take off their helmets and would never ask Cody to either, making for a good reason for no one to find out he’s a clone. After moving with the tribe a few times he ends up on Nevarro and adopts a foundling no one else seemed to want to take in. The kid reminded him of his brothers when they were still tubies so of course he adopted him. Years down the road he’s on tatooine with his ad’ika and the little green baby (who Cody keeps calling the kid his grand-ad’ika) they found on a job. Later on Cody and Din are led to a small hut by a young man named Luke who said he knows someone who can help them. Cody freezes seeing Obi Wan, he’s older and greyer, but his eyes shine just the same. Cody can’t help himself before he takes off his helmet, much to his sons complete confusion. Cue Cody and Obi Wan having an intense reunion, practically about to kiss each other while Luke, Din, and Grogu just stand in the corner like ???
#pfft din wanting to talk about what happened#cody: well ad’ika when two people love each other- Din: not THAT talk! I mean about your helmet!!#din helping his buir find all his brothers and realizing there’s a couple thousand people he can by creed take his helmet off in front of#also Owen walking in looking for Luke to see his nephew. a bounty hunter with an alien. and the old hermit kissing another mando#owen: what the HELLS is going on????#also consider Cody being there when the empire tries to find luke and he helps owen and Beru fight them off and they survive 👀#Star Wars#mandalorian Cody#codywan#obi wan kenobi#din djarin#the mandalorian#au
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The goblin looked at the orc. The orc looked at the goblin. They both looked down at the crumpled shape of the Overlord, His Unholy Majesty, in his obsidian armor.
His final spasms had been mesmerizingly acrobatic. The fall down the steps leading up to his iron throne had pretzelled his body quite impressively, both arms folded behind his back and one leg bent at a jaunty angle.
The goblin looked at the orc. The orc looked at the goblin.
"Shit," said the goblin.
"Shit," said the orc.
"We're likely to get blamed for this," the goblin said. She walked over to the head of the glittering mangled heap and started pulling the helmet off.
"It's not our fault," the orc said. "It's hard to help someone choking when they wear two-hundred pounds of spiked armor at all times."
"Yeah, well," the goblin grunted. The helmet came free, and the bald head of the Overlord bounced on the stone with a hollow, coconut noise. "You know how it is in this bloody country - thieves get their heads cut off so they can't think about thieving, and all that." She fished in the Overlord's mouth with a finger and pulled out the obstructing olive on the end of her claw.
She popped it into her mouth and chewed. "What do you reckon they do for a regicide?" she said.
"We should run," the orc said. She had started bouncing her leg. "I hear that there's some places in the Alliance where they just kill you and let you stay dead. That's got to be nicer than what'll happen if we stay here."
The goblin started to nod - and then her gaze fell on the helmet.
It looked like a pineapple designed by a deranged blacksmith. It was all thorns and spikes and hard edges, as though the maker had been very determined to not let pigeons roost on it. The only bits that weren't solid iron were eyeholes. Nobody had ever seen the Overlord's face.
She held up the helmet and squinted from it to the orc. One of the thorns had been bent badly in the fall.
Nobody had ever seen the Overlord's face...
"Right," she muttered. "Right. Could work - or."
The orc had a sudden vision of the immediate future. "No," she said.
"I mean you're about his height-"
"No."
"It would just be for a-"
"Absolutely not."
"Just hear me out," the goblin said. "Outside of this room are two-thousand men and orcs and goblins who are absolutely gonzo about this man, and there's a whole country of them outside of the castle, and at any moment someone's going to walk in that door and see one dead tit in black armor and two unbelievably dead idiots next to him.
"Or." She tossed the helmet up like a basketball to the orc, who fumbled and tried to find somewhere to hold it that wasn't a knife's edge. "We chuck him out the window now, walk out the door in the armor, and ditch the armor as soon as nobody sees us."
The orc had started bouncing her leg again. "They'll know something's up the second I walk out of the room."
"No worries," said the goblin. "Leave that to me."
---
It had been a very strange year for the Empire.
Change had rolled across the land as slow and inevitable as a glacier. Roads and bridges carved the gray, blasted wildlands, and a number of social reforms had made the country a place where you could be miserable, yes, but miserable in comfort and safety, and that was an improvement.
Barely anyone got boiled alive in molten metal, and even if the disgusted sun never rose to light the Empire, at least you had a roof over your head to protect yourself from the acid rain.
"Your empire flourishes, Your Unholy Majesty," the magician said over her wine glass. She looked down from the tower's balcony over the gleaming stone battlements. Some work had been done to line the castle and surrounding city with sizzling, crackling alchemical lights at night. The whole thing glowed like something dangerously radioactive.
The suit of armor waved a languid, glittering gauntlet over to the goblin, who bowed.
"His Abominable Gloriousness Thanks You," the goblin recited. "The Prosperity Of His Empire Can Only Be Achieved Through The Prosperity Of His People."
"If I may be so bold, I am quite pleased that you had chosen to take my counsel under consideration," said the magician. "We have accomplished many things together."
Another wave. Another bow. "The Overlord, May His Presence Swallow The Sun And Stars, Thanks You As Well."
"It was quite gratifying to see you change your mind, after so many centuries of denial." The wine was swirled. "Tell me, what was it that finally gave you cause to listen to me?"
There was the slightest hesitation. The goblin's eyes flicked to the armor, then to the magician. She puffed out her chest. "Do you question the wisdom of His Austere Lugubriousness?" she asked.
The magician looked at the goblin. She looked at the armor. She tipped her head back and drank the wine too quickly.
She looked back at the armor. "I know you're the orc, you moron," she said.
The room went deathly still. An alchemical light fizzled.
The orc pulled off the helmet, sending long, untied hair down tangling, and said: "How could you possibly-"
"Because you're both idiots!" the magician said. The goblin jumped. The orc jumped with a noise like a dropped stove. "What kind of a plan was this?! If it wasn't for me, you would have been turned into fertilizer months ago."
She closed her eyes. She took a long, dramatic breath. She set the wine glass down on the balcony rail.
"How did the Overlord die?" she asked when she seemed like she had gotten a hold over herself.
"Choked on an olive," said the goblin.
"Threw his body out the window," said the orc.
"You don't have to mention the window," said the goblin.
"Right," said the orc. "Sorry."
The magician looked out over the city, hand curled thoughtfully under her nose. "Who knows about this?"
"Just us. And, uh. You. Apparently."
"And why did you accept my counsel?"
The orc blinked. "Sorry?"
"Why did you accept my counsel?" the magician repeated.
"Well," the orc said. "Well - you seemed like you had good ideas-"
"Great ideas!" the goblin said with an edge of desperation. "Don't know why the old bastard didn't listen to you!"
"Right - right," said the orc. "And when we figured we were stuck doing this - well, it just made sense, really."
The magician seemed to absorb this. She nodded. "All right," she said, striding between the two and grabbing the crystal decanter.
"Um," said the orc. "Sorry. What happens now?"
"What happens is that you two will continue to serve as Overlord," said the magician. "You will continue to take my counsel. We will continue to reform this bloody country, and gods willing, we will turn it into the crown jewel of the world by next Midwinter."
The orc looked at the goblin. The goblin looked at the orc.
"Really?" the goblin asked.
"Oh yes," said the magician. "I've worked hard to be counsel to the Overlord, and I have no reason to stop now. And besides-"
She looked the orc up and down with a deliberate slowness, poring over every microscopic detail, eyes tracing over every jagged line, and grinned like a panther.
"You look much better in the armor than he ever did," she said. Dark robes swirled like a becleavaged thundercloud, and she strode out through the high iron doors, decanter in hand.
The goblin looked at the orc. The orc looked at the goblin.
"Shit," said the goblin.
"Shit," said the orc.
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:) I’m backkkk you all thought you could get rid of me
🛕Pharaoh Tucker with his “Wifes” Sam and Danny🛕
Yes I’m bringing attention to this like why is nobody talking about this????
Now let’s get into the main plot so Danny, Sam and Tucker have to GO and fast ( GIW or bad Fenton au either or. !!!Bonus points!!! If Danny got hurt and than it would make this so much funnier y’all get what I mean in a sec) and they all go to the ghost zone where they meet up with clockwork and he tells them that one of Tuckers earlier reincarnation made a place so in the future he’s good even if he doesn’t remember it so clockwork brings them to what looks like an ancient Egyptian empire with the civilians and the people who live there as the people who died in the past {sorry if this is a bit hard to read I am very tired} and they are brought to the place where clockwork just casually reveals that Tucker is the pharaoh ie: The King and Sam, Tucker and Danny take this very well for them this is a safe place for them to heal and live with the added bonus of helping with Danny’s obsessions (Protection and Space) and after a bit they gain the affection of the people and the…Protection of the people??? Because for the people they see that one of their queen (Danny) was hurt before the royals came here so they get a bit protective and for a bit of information here’s the main jobs of the trio
Tucker taking care of the rules and doing the main running of the empire
Sam takes care of the army and gardens of the empire ( making sure they have enough food and such )
Danny takes care of the people (who grown the most fond of ) and such
So you can see what I’m going for with this now here’s where the JL comes in so the empire was NOT in the ghost zone it is in its own little world but somehow the JL gets tipped off about a triving empire that NOBODY has made contact with so a group ( Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, the flash, green lantern you know the works) goes to make contact and hopefully make allies with them so they go and are taken aback a bit by how much this place is triving and what to meet the people who made this happen so what the JL was expecting was a lest a adult but instead they got what looked like a 16-17 with what looked like two people the same aged sitting next to him on either side (!!!EXRA BONUS POINTS!!! If one of the supers helped Danny before the meeting) and someone makes the dumb decision to ask them where are the REAL rulers and the guards in the room ( who I forgot to mention ) get mad at them and become hostile to them and Sam has to clam them down and that’s all for the plot at the moment
Now on to the details let’s start with tucker I’m thinking about this
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/51628d27817a28599f3806033c28823b/32a4594ab0f5d223-5f/s500x750/304a6d129f6d348db0099fa652426086898f1963.jpg)
( just instead of blue it’s red) and for a head piece I’m thinking the good old classic 
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/178023cfed4944d7ebd35c35057e4a3f/32a4594ab0f5d223-b6/s540x810/95ad10a20c93abbd2126c4fdcfe43284f2f2d429.jpg)
It just fits
Now for Sam I’m thinking is for her outfit
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0ee7a09f96b0b057d590183a0c058045/32a4594ab0f5d223-fa/s540x810/b7e45fc71a40ba929759bad0e62d1872eac8a2c1.jpg)
But in darker colors because she’s SAM and for a head piece I’m thinking something like this
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d3e2ca1fe8f80d7d8de627ca220fa3f2/32a4594ab0f5d223-9e/s540x810/0579786d8f1456e1f5977beedd27d8341e99af1c.jpg)
Nothing to big because she has to train the army and she’s outside a lot so if it’s anything to big I think it will just be annoying
For Danny this
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3a036b104973fa0eefd8f865428f378d/32a4594ab0f5d223-40/s1280x1920/c6549043e90aa8ac7707cfc6dde918c92bf8b55e.jpg)
Mixed with this
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/93ed9194f02fef6a46b4634ab73b9b96/32a4594ab0f5d223-e8/s540x810/d61463088aa4d1031cc33dbcdf5428f783a1acd3.jpg)
Because ye and for his hair piece I’m braining
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6f91d534fdc0862d9a0b35fed6376262/32a4594ab0f5d223-ec/s540x810/3fdd0176fa210ef3459c39015b38ec5609998fe8.jpg)
This I think it looks neat
Now that’s all from me byeee
#dc x dp#danny phantom#dp x dc#that weird thing in the woods#dc x dp crossover#dc x dp fanfiction#dc x dp fic#dc x dp prompt#that-weird-thing-in-the-woods#dp x dc misunderstandings#everlasting trio#let’s go!#romantic everlasting trio#Danny X Sam X Tucker#Pharaoh Tucker#because I feel like this is not talked about like this is such a cool fanfic idea#The people: sees the royals (Danny Tucker Sam)#The people:PROTECT THE ROYALS#Tucker and Sam are fine with this arrangement (not to mention how protective they are of Danny like holy shit#the JL is a bit concerned about this#dpxdc#dc x dp au#dcxdp#danny au#dp x dc au#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#dc x dp misunderstandings#misunderstandings#danny fenton
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I'm always interested in analyses that portray a romanced Solas as a predatory hee hee trickster god manipulating a young and impressionable Lavellan into falling for him and if that's your world state go ahead and live your truth b/c it's frankly none of my business, but I sincerely think there are those who forget that for a lot of people, a romanced Lavellan is (with all due respect to my own Solasmancing Inquisitor Rielle Lavelllan) batshit crazy. Having her boyfriend turn out to be a wolf god is honestly the least of her problems but oh boy is she unafraid to become one to fix this mess.
This is a woman who woke up in a dungeon with a glowing hand, figured out she could fix the world, and thought "fuck it, it's not like I'll have anything else better to do if Corypheus sticks around. Also. Everyone here kind of looks like they want to kill me, so maybe I'll stick with the protective powers that be for a minute." And then all of five seconds later she gets her hand snatched by a sketchy elven apostate who knows exactly what to do with her shiny new powers and cannot stop himself from having a Mr. Darcy level hand-flex after he lets it go (in my heart and soul this happens just out of the camera's gaze) and goes "hmm maybe there's something to be said for this world saving thing."
This is a woman who brought an entire fucking avalanche down on herself and three of her closest friends (and I do mean closest as in physical proximity, she doesn't know these people who are looking at her like she's Thedas' Next Top Idol) because even if it killed her it was the proper middle finger to send to the wannabe god bringing his army tap-dancing down the mountain pass towards her on the one night she had scheduled off to celebrate finally taking a W.
This is a woman going Take 2 Electric Boogaloo on waking up with no idea where she is and learning she was successful in spite-dragging herself up a different fucking mountain in a blizzard. Except now everyone is fighting wait nope now they're Kumbaya-ing a song Andraste's Herald should really probably be familiar with whoops, oh thank God, time for a side convo with the same apostate who's been trying to turn her entire life into a history class only for her to dive in headfirst (much to his initial abject horror) and get that good good discourse she needs since she can't go around arguing with everyone else like she wants to. "The orb is ours." You know what? Of course it is. But if they need the world saved from an elven oopsie, who better to right things than an elf? Fuck it, we ball.
This is a woman who misses being close to nature and goes positively feral at Skyhold, yeeting herself over balconies and banisters and turning the ancient fortress into her personal parkour playground because she's got energy to work off and shit to do, and if the path of least resistance to hunt down everyone she needs to talk to is coincidentally the same path that will absolutely wreck her knees by the time she's sixty, that's just how it has to be.
This is a woman who finds herself back at Haven with a man she's found it possible to be unfetteringly unabashedly herself with and thinks, "hey, maybe there could be more than the flirations we've exchanged over heated discussions and philosophical deep-dives, maybe I can have just one smooch as a treat." And when she feels her slowly unfurling passion reciprocated only to be shut down? She resolves herself to fight for this fledgling love and all the fade tongue that comes with it. This is a woman who gets the tiniest glimpse of what a retirement plan might look like after this whole saving the mortal world thing and buys all the way in.
This is a woman who has Grey Wardens to save from themselves, an empire trying to self-cannibalize, and still finds the time to go rescue a spirit because she, as a fellow comrade caught up in this mess, knows damn well that no innocent deserves to suffer if she can help it while she's got this insane amount of power she never asked for. And if that happens to lead to the man she feels safe enough to nap on the library couches with confessing at last the feelings she knows he's been smothering beneath his all-too-collected surface? Yeah, she'll take that W.
This is a woman who gets absolutely blasted head-over-ass into the fade and goes "honestly things were going a little TOO well." This is a woman who sneaks a peak at the closest fears of the companions she's come to know and love and goes "not on my fucking watch." This is a woman who sees that the man she forces herself to learn the old language for, her vhenan, fears being alone more than anything in the entire knowing world and resolves herself to ensuring it never comes to pass.
This is a woman who gets the opportunity to shape the government of a straight up country and runs around collecting wooden fucking halla in a palace full of elven servants with no time to dwell on that particularly cruel irony because out here it's scheme or be schemed. This a woman who collapses against a balcony railing after putting out some of the sickest literal and metaphorical dance moves The Game has ever seen, resigned to bear her ever-increasing burdens alone, only to find her heart and his horrible horrible hat extending a hand, promising her that if he is not alone, then neither is she.
Like, do you feel me here?
And then he dares to think something as sudden and damning as the truth is enough to keep her away? The queen of tough conversations and tougher choices? No, no, dear readers who have made it this far into my descent into madness.
Inquisitor Lavellan is a master-class in encouraging the odds against her to fuck around and find out. She is a rift-mending false-god-bashing politcally savvy terror upon all of Thedas. Solas (and all of the living breathing world) is lucky she took time out of her busy schedule to notice the way his smile softens when talking about spirits or appreciate the fluidity of his form when they're obliterating venatori out in the field. This man cradled her cheeks in his shaking hands, looked into weary and wide eyes and called her beautiful, and had the audacity to steal her heart before trying to peace out and take it with him.
If she's got to track down a real god this time and frog march him into the fade to reclaim both her heart and the future she fought for because all he wants to do is launch himself like a meteor towards achieving his greatest fear, if she has to spend hours lecturing him on the sheer audacity of his ass while spirits float by and realize they're grateful they never had the chance to take on a body and subject themselves to a verbal lashing this brutal, if she has to do cartwheels around him while dropping all sorts of sweet nothings in the language she is now quite proficient in until he gets it through his luminous gleaming skull that when she said "var lath vir suledin" my girl meant it? Then that's what she's going to do.
"I wish it could, vhenan."
Oh it's going to, buddy. Buckle up to get wrecked, to get absolutely loved and cherished you fool, because Inquisitor Lavellan is not the Dread Wolf's prey, she's his hunter.
#sure Solas is a god but she's the woman crazy enough to love one#solas#dragon age inquisition#inquisitor lavellan#solavellan hell#solavellan#solas dragon age#solas x lavellan
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I just need willing sexworker reader with Mafia Konig.
He is fighting against the urge to have his lil wifey near bc he knows he will fuck 24/7 and also she would be his weakness. But how can he say no when she begs him so sweetly with his cock inside, when she says a mere thing about how they would be a cute family.
My breeding kink is showing, forgive my manners.
Oh, he can't resist your begging. This man is weak - for you especially, with his mind working overtime just to compensate for all the things he is throwing away to be able to spend a few more hours buried deep in your pussy. You look so fucking precious under him, your body mangled to fit him perfectly - he needs you, wants you, sometimes thinks you're literally just a plant from a rival gang to make him stop working and just fuck you all the time. If you sleep together and you ask him to stay with you during the morning, with that adorable groggy voice of yours, he won't ever be able to resist - and if you want for him to breed your pussy until you're so filled up you can't walk, he will gladly stop whatever he was doing. It started so simple. Konig was your client, paid a bit too much, and always took care of you afterward - if not personally, then by hotel staff and paid nights at the luxurious resorts. You couldn't help but fall for him, even if only for a little bit at the start. You adored his gifts, his compliments, even his obsession and his work - he protected you, started booking all of your sessions to drive clients away, even managed to get you an apartment without any strings attached. Well, without any strings that weren't attached to him, that is. Konig sees you as his reprieve, his little saving grace. He indulges in your body and makes sure you know just how much he adores having you by his side. You're his weakness, and he tells you that it's going to get him killed one day, but if that means keeping you on his lap while dealing with gun deals and the drug trade, he is willing to risk everything. He needs you by his side - if not as a helper, then as stress relief. Konig never cared too much about what was going to happen with his mafia empire after he died, but now he started to think about heirs, legacy, making you pregnant, and then spawning a little army of his kids, ready to take over neighboring countries. You beg him to fuck you so sweetly, he just can't resist. Even if his age means he can't quite go on multiple rounds like he used to at his horny young adult times, he is still going to keep his favourite lady satisfied. And fucked so much, she wouldn't be able to crawl out of the bed next morning, letting him tend to his criminal business.
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Dick: *Forcing a smile* Being an older brother is a wonderful and surprising thing. You can always find yourself in situations you never thought you would happen!!!
-
Dick: *Freaking out* What was the only thing I said not to do??!!
Duke: *Guilty* Create a cult for the second time.
Dick: AND WHAT WAS WHAT YOU DID???
Duke: ....Create a cult for the second time.
Duke: ....
Duke: In my defense it was completely accidental.
-
Dick: Hey Dami, have you seen-WHAT IS SO???
Damian: Grayson keep your voice down, your screams will alert everyone.
Dick: *Deep breath* Dami, babybat, my little brother. Why is there a giraffe hanging out on your balcony?
Damian: Her name is Macbeth and I think that's obvious, she's too big to come into my room.
Dick: Where did you find a giraffe in damn Gotham???No, don't answer that. Does Bruce know about this??
Damian: No Grayson, you're the first to hear about Macbeth joining the family.
Dick: Okok, This is all Bruce's fault and I refuse to deal with this now.
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Jason: Hypothetically speaking, how bad would it be if during the patrol I dropped my bombs that explode when touched on the wrong side?
Dick: ....I'm sorry? What?
Jason: Just a hypothetical situation, it doesn't mean he dropped bombs there.
Dick: What the fuck, Jason!? Really What the fuck?!
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Tim: *With zero hours of sleep and 5 boxes of red bull*. I HAVE DISCOVERED IT!!
Dick: I don't want to ask, god knows nothing good comes of that, but what have you discovered, Timy??
Tim: *Jumping with excitement* I have discovered the identity of the criminal mind we have been investigating.
Dick: I take back what I said, that's good news. Who is it??
Tim: IT'S BRUCE WAYNE!!
Dick: ...
Dick: Did you know?? I said nothing. What made you think it's Bruce Wayne?
Tim: *Fretically moving hands* Just think about it, whenever Bruce Wayne leaves events early there's some big crime or breakup of Arkham, plus he always reappears with suspicious injuries and attributes them to his clumsiness. One part of his money mysteriously disappears from his boxsafe, his segurity is too good to be a theft or mistake, it must be your financing at evil ends and-
Dick: Tim, Don't you forget that Bruce-
Tim: AND YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE BEST PART.
Dick: What could-
Tim: HIS CHILDREN ARE TRAINED KILLERS AND RUN HIS CRIMINAL EMPIRE.
Dick: *Looking for the sedative and sleeping pills* Are they?? Tell me more.
-
Dick: Everyone should feel the joy -suffering- of being an older brother -it's all Bruce's fault, I must have been an only child-
*Voices of Tim and Damian fighting in the background with Jason cheering them on*
Dick: Above all I love my brothers.
*Sound of breaking glass and Duke's surprised scream*
Dick: *Trying to convince himself* I really, really love them.
*Gliter bomb explosion*
Dick: ....
Dick: *Whispering* I don't get paid enough for this. Damn Bruce.
#damian wayne#batfam#batman#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#duke thomas#batkids#batfamily#Bruce Wayne#Dick is tired of his brothers#But he love them#Allí is Bruce fault#Let Damian have his giraffe#batboys
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