#I maybe have an OC problem but like ????? oh well???????
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I mean I am one of the few people who genuinely did not care for Keith Allura endgame at some point past season 2. As cute as I found them in the pod escape moment I don't really see the chemistry or any kind of grounds to truly connect on for them past the tangential ones and Keith is too fixated on Shiro for the first couple of seasons. I genuinely loved the Allura Lance development in later seasons with Lance growing into a better person and genuinely falling in love with her. I also feel like historically Allura and Keith have had a very slapped together relationship in 2 of the 3 previous iterations (I greatly prefered Lance and Allura in the og one because i genuinely dislike the celibate hero who never shows interest in the girl vs the girl loves the guy but they still end up together trope).
I did however enjoy the shallura and sheith dynamic as well and I feel shallura could have been a decent path to go down at some point but hey, I'm not gonna complain about my baby boy being queer rep. It's time we get non stereotypical rep for gay men.
I agree the whiney Keith part of the fandom is odd but I have arguably not seen enough of that in fanfics in general. I think I learnt to avoid those kind of fics early on since a lot of people who write those are generally younger people who project onto specific characters and you can usually tell within a couple paragraphs if it's that kind of fic. Most of the content I have read has been pretty in character for the most part. I also moved in Shiro lover circles so...
I would argue that Keith suggesting leaving Allura behind is harsh but also not...wrong. Not in the sense that they should have left her but Keith is capable of making difficult choices unless he himself is compromised (aka struggling with Shiro's loss). Even Allura agreed that they should have left her behind. Shiro is for all his groundedness, an idealist. He wants to protect everyone, even at the risk of making things worse for himself. Shiro the hero is right, he is your main heroic archetype, always save the people, always fight for justice, against all odds. Keith leans more realistic in that you make hard morally ambiguous choices in war and it's not like Keith has much of an understanding of war/this specific conflict like Shiro and Allura do. But yes, Keith is single minded and prone to rash decisions, he's definitely not as bad as that. For one Pidge absolutely deserved a chewing out for trying to ditch the crew in the middle of a war and Keith was right, everyone barring Lance and Hunk was dealing with some kind of loss. Mind you, at this point they did not know that the Lions would even pick another Paladin. Shiro imo was being way too lenient and probably still dealing with the guilt of having left the Holts behind and being saved instead. I do dislike the fact that Keith stopped being pragmatic and became Shiro the Hero point dos. It would have been a good comparison of how both are genuine ways of being in the middle of a war. But oh well.
I'm not really in the Keith defence squad. Lord knows I have issues with some of the Gary Stu crap that came later. But i do think sometimes we tend to expect too much from an isolated, socially inept, orphan with life long abandonment issues as he is navigating through a war in the early seasons.
I want to talk, for just minute, about the amount of self-disparagement in Shiro's statement, here. He's grievously injured, ailing, and trapped in a tiny cave with creatures lurking outside, waiting for their next opportunity to attack him.
Despite this, he's been repeatedly assuring Keith that he's "all right", and inquiring after Keith's well-being whenever he hears Keith struggling over the comms. Then, Keith expresses his belief that Shiro's presence and influence changed his life, and Shiro agrees. On the grounds that he's actively made Keith's life worse.
Keith's response to this extremely concerning assertion?
Nothing. He hears Shiro cough, tells him, "Stay with me, Shiro," and that's it.
This is an example of exactly what I mean when I say that Shiro has no support system. His best and closest friend hears him say something seriously disconcerting while in a state of utmost vulnerability, placing all of the blame for Keith's current predicament on himself, which is objectively not true, and does nothing to refute him. No, "Hey. Stop beating yourself up. We're gonna be just fine". Or, "How could this possibly be on you? Did you purposely eject us from the Castle?". Or even, "When we get out of here, we need to talk about why you feel like you don't matter and something completely out of your control is your fault. It's not like you asked to be here, either."
Maybe I'm expecting too much from a young adult with his own trauma whose interpersonal skills have already been shown to be lacking. I know I expected too much from a team of showrunners who believed that dark content automatically equals mature content, and insisted on shoving as much disturbing subject matter and questionable to outright deplorable messaging as they could manage to get away with into a series aimed at children. Shiro was never meant to heal from his trauma. The intention was to kill him to pave the way for Keith to take his place as The Chosen One.
But, in this fandom's determination to woobify their favorites to the extreme based on said favorites' moments of insecurity, they seem to have forgotten that the most blatantly traumatized member of the cast is the most blatantly traumatized member of the cast. Self-loathing and passive suicidal ideation are every bit as much a part of that as Shiro's flashbacks and the fear-induced paralysis that seizes him when a repressed memory resurfaces from the dark corners of his mind to drag him under. And, he, too, deserved all of the sensitivity, care, and love that they believe their favorites do, which makes it all the more abhorrent that he was repeatedly denied it in this show's canon.
#lmao no problem#used to have a hard time with l/nce because his fans used to shit on anyone and everyone and have said some of the worst things about Shiro#and his mishandling as well tended to irk me#i rewatched the og voltron a while ago and fell in love with l/nce's character again#and during a re-watch of vld i was able to appreciate him without the fandom breathing down my neck#i genuinely think the writing team wanted different plans for the cast but got arm barred into putting out the mess by the IP owners#because there are so many comments they've made about things they want to explore or things they plan on doing#that got left on the cutting floor#the final season being recalled and pushed forward with the artists being called back to crank out alterations#that even the VAs weren't aware of is just really telling#even the artists on the show would like fan grievences with story beats and character bs#the writers also couldn't really stand up and go “oh yea we were strong armed into this” etc because ndas exist#i feel like Shiro had too much going on to ve killed off with lm and jds talking about how they tried to shut down the killing him part#but im pretty sure the owners wanted the main focus to be the 5 mains and the writers did what they could#they cranked out 8 seasons in 2 years#that's way too short a time period to be honest#i can't imagine how overworked they were and voltron is not an original product#i bet the owners hated that Shiro was practically an oc but so beloved that they couldn't fully get rid of him#that being said on a different note#i dont think Keith could believably have had an endgame in vld with anyone besides Shiro and this isnt a shipper thing#for the entire series he was fixated on keeping Shiro safe when he was with the team#after that he pretty much stopped interacting with the others#i think him and Axca could have maybe worked but holy shit I hated how Axca had no personality outside of the dudes in her life#first she was obsessed with one guy and then she started stalking another#and they never even interacted properly#what even was that???#i also did not enjoy Hunk and Shay#they took the first chance to pair him off with a throw away side character and not develop him any further romantically#that's what you get for being pudgy and not twinky and “attractive”.
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i want to delete my twitter account so fucking bad
#i grew my following off of anime stuff and now i'm into completely different stuff and i feel like posting about it -#will alienate my audience way too much#(if you wanna know - these days i hardly even watch one anime a year)#i wanna post about the fuckin saw movies and postal and weird video games and metalocalypse and music i like#and i want to post about my ocs without it feeling like i'm speaking gibberish to a crowd#but none of my followrs GIVE A FUCK#also i find it impossible to make friends on twt 😭😭😭😭 i have like 5 mutuals i'd consider friends#but alas i have too many industry pro followrs to just deactivate#and 40k followers is invaluable as someone whose only form of income rn is comms#tumblr has similar problems but at least i can talk about my ocs properly cuz of tagging#i don't like how monetized my account has become it feels so fucking disingenuous#it's just retweet retweet retweet post art retweet retweet#if twitter went under it'd be a blessing in disguise for me#oh well. suffering from success i guess#maybe one day i'll move accounts and KILL STARRYSHARKS ONCE AND FOR ALL#this is all 13 yr old me's fault#sorry for ranting/venting ig??? on main lol
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Khorijin and Shira Dazkar
#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#gpose#gposers#ffxiv aura#ffxiv au ra#ffxiv oc#my gposes#oc: shira#oc: khori#ffxiv pictomancer#ffxiv viper#I love these girls so much#emegen needed some beautiful cousins from her dad's side to make up for her shit family on her mom's side#I maybe have an OC problem but like ????? oh well???????
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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pinning to the workshop corkboard: you've heard of winston "i'm cassandra" billions clairvoyance concepts for fun & profit, hear also of winston billions sphinx concepts (you must be This understanding of what he means to proceed)
#not a brand new one but the other day i was like have i ever put that to words & post? then i saw two unrelated sphinxposting reminders#winston billions#the riddlerrr sphinx also like yeah yeah winged lion form. kind of a hassle but optional perhaps still b/c yeah that's fun#did have the thought ''what if his pet cat is also secretly what has the winged lion that kills you form lol''#also the thought that whatever Gate / Boundary / [cannot proceed] happens could be Varied as well as Involuntary#would add to the like episodic type possibilities like oops how do we get past this? what's the issue? even winston may not know#meanwhile like Deliberate Obfuscation would only go so far re: the metaphor here being relevant to winston the autistic person#he Has to be understood; on his terms. you gotta work to & actually figure out what he is conveying to you#i suppose also ''or die'' is an option here lol. nightmare scenario for everyone who'd rather steamroll him forever to be sure; but#[you just Can't proceed] applied less lethally than that still affords plenty of You Have To Understand What He Means possibilities#see also: [rian as basically an oc based mostly on pre production hiatus funny little guy status] translating what he means....#just Not Really A Problem shrugmoji (audhd solidarity (rian 5x05 thru 07 oc continues))#yet would hardly imply taylor is a party who wouldn't also usually understand winston easily & accurately (not like 5x07 does either)#plus then complications like do ppl twist Understanders' arms for cheat codes sometimes. try to posit them as hypotheticals lol#in this world where sometimes a coworker is a sphinx or is; in tandem with his cat? well sometimes they're autistic. nonbinary#genderfluid. wear glasses. just another day at the encouragement to crush coworkers factory#anyway something where if i had a zillion detailed thoughts on this it might be other than a brief nocturnal text post but#see also: who says solving a riddle can't be a conversation / the riddlerrr is also trying to figure it out.#like sure i guess i can give clues & hints but i'm not even sure they're useful / not sure what i'm clueing you in to either#clue....like minotaurs out here (clew like the thread/yarn. like is used to find your way through / out of a labyrinth)#anyway e.g. like oh you can't do [xyz] in whatever thwarted way? how can Figuring Out Smthing W/Winston help? maybe he doesn't know either#maybe his cat has materialized huge & Theoretically lethal to thwart smthing. maybe regular size & just swatting at you. who can say#maybe winston is like hm i see that i can fly or kill you more than usual. who else can say. &c. imagine#meanwhile tfw ''okay i genuinely get what you mean'' doesn't guarantee then like. proceeding w/any basic respect beyond that lol#but already more leverage / more effort in that by far & perhaps that ability to just shut ppl out of plenty of [access / do whatever]#when indeed even that leverage had / effort given is considered Too Much#can only be guaranteed basic respect in the winston billions guaranteed basic respect au
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Maybe it's the result of my main fandom for the majority of my life being one where canon just genuinely doesn't exist, where there are so many different canons and literally any sort of interpretation of a single character is correct and can range from a moronic maniac with a chainsaw to a depressed old asshole boss, but
Literally who gives a fuck about canon?
Especially when the character is practically a blank slate or if it's an AU
Like, I'm sorry, but if you're butthurt about a mischaracterisation of a fictional character in an Alternative Universe then I don't think you understand what an AU is
#thylacines can talk#Maybe that's the reason I do not have the same violent reaction to mischaracterisation 99% of fandom spaces seems to have#I genuinely think that getting butthurt over somebody not writing a fictional character exactly how they appear in canon is the stupidest#most juvenile pet peeve you could ever have. Literally WHY do you care so much? It's words on a screen. Calm down.#I think it's only a problem when you believe that it's canon or try to shove your own interpretation of a character or AUs onto everybody#else. Otherwise...literally who cares? Somebody else treating characters like dolls is not hurting me. I'm not about to get legitimately#annoyed over fictional characters in a children's cat book. Unless it's like. Bigoted. But then I criticise the person's beliefs not a#goddammed characterisation of a fictional character.#In the fandom I was in most of my life a trigger-happy clown with a chainsaw canon and an old deppressed asshole boss were seen as the same#character and only had like. One design detail in common. And literally nobody batted an eye. You could write a dynamic between two#characters being incredibly hateful and toxic and somebody else could write them as old friends or an old married couple and both of these#interpretations would be equally canon. A single guy could have two wildly different personalities and backstories and he'd still be#treated like the same character as long as the two looked vaguely similar physically wise. Sure there were interpretations of characters#that were more popular than others but literally the only people who would treat one specific interpretation as canon and shove that#interpretation onto everybody else would be people who came from different kinds of fandoms and let me tell you. They were annoying as fuck#So coming from that kind of fandom into more generic mainstream fandoms feels like such a culture shock. Genuinely cannot comprehend why#people care so much.#'oh this character is so far from canon they might as well make an oc' okay...cool...and?#Maybe they don't want to make an oc?? I mean come on. It's fictional characters. You're an adult. It's not a fucking English class#People don't come to fandoms to study book literacy they come here to have fun. Literally WHO CARES if somebody's interpretation of a#character has only name and looks common with the canon version. WHO CARES. ITS WORDS ON THE SCREEN. Who are they hurting if they're just#making AUs in their own corner and not shoving it in anyone's face?#Idk I just see a characterisation I don't agree with and just go oh. Kinda weird but go off. And move on.#This got longer than I meant it to but whatever#I mean if you have that pet peeve but aren't an asshole about it. It's also whatever. That opinion also doesn't hurt anybody. It's only#people who act so butthurt about it and shit on other people having fun that I have a problem with. If you put it on your own blog and#criticise that sort of content in your own space instead of coming to somebody and going 'hey. I don't like what you're doing'. Then I#couldn't care less. Again. That's kinda weird but go off#It's kind of like. I like horror but I dont care if you dont like horror and talk about it in your own space. But I'm gonna care if you#go up to horror fans and go 'hey I think horror sucks' or 'I dont like horror so you shouldn't either'.
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i will forever be haunted by the surname i gave to one of my ocs when i was in high school. she is still one of my most prominent ocs today but her name is historically/contextually unsound, because i gave it to her before i 100% knew who she was and before i had done much research about the names of people of her position during her time period. but it would be hard to change it because she has had it for 13 years. so now when i create ocs i just don't name them forever for fear that i will inadvertently do this again lol
#on the other hand a different oc from her cohort had his name massively shuffled for the same reason and he took it like a champ#but i also developed a LOT of his family history to accommodate for his name and other random stuff about him#that i chose before i knew the things i have since learned#so he got to be more interesting because of uninformed decisions i made in high school#good puzzle game! figure out how to make sense of choices i made years ago via historical research and creative problem solving#but sadly lucia's surname just. doesn't make sense for who she is#but you know! oh well. maybe i'll audition new surnames for her to see if any stick lol#writing tag
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I was trying out variations on colorways for aubree's outfit and, with a few of them, realized that her outfit has trended slightly less colorful over time, and specifically less yellow (originally a green and yellow striped vest, then a green vest over a yellow short sleeved shirt, and now possibly a white shirt and green vest, with only small amounts of yellow embroidery). this wasn't intentional, but nonetheless, the concept that, as the adventure has worn on, she's outwardly losing color-- and specifically in favor of browns and whites, the colors associated with the halfling god of death-- is compelling to me. I mean, I suppose if I had been doing it on purpose, the shadowfell arc immediately following our literal deaths and mysterious rebirths would have been a really good time for the most muted palette... but, then again, aubree was still relatively fresh then, confused and traumatized but also still powerfully and stubbornly alive where it counts; vibrant, burning, shining light into dark corners just by existing. but the more we learn, the heavier things weigh, the fewer outlets she has, the less she feels like she can relate to the people who should understand better than anyone... she's still righteous and angry, but she's also just... sad, and tired, and growing more tired the more she feels like she has to keep herself together for everyone else. and gradually, quietly, her colors are washing out.
#not to be fake deep I guess I just love her#and she's having A Rough Go Of It#this isn't even the most rough SHE'S personally had this campaign actually!#but *I'm* a lot more upset about the party failing to give her meaningful support than she is lmaooo#THIS is more-- okay the raven queen is DEAD and the fate of COUNTLESS SOULS in transition is now uncertain#and it's directly because bringing us back to life significantly weakened the gods that did that!! that's all pretty upsetting!!!#also what might this mean for urogalan? or for our warlock's demigod patron who wasn't that powerful to begin with?#but lisbet's so far up her own invented grimdark emo nonsense that she's implying maybe the Right Thing would be for us to all die(???)#and talia's like [shrug] dude idk we didn't ask them to do that so who cares. whatever. it's literally not our problem lighten up#OH OKAY OKAY OKAY I'LL JUST CARRY ALL OF THIS FEAR AND EMPATHY BY MYSELF THEN. WHILE YOU ALL TREAT ME LIKE I'M BEING DRAMATIC.#THAT'S FINE.#[strained humorless grin] and she doesn't even KNOW about the time she was unconscious and being closed in on by monsters--#and the party all ran in every possible other direction to do literally everything else other than PROTECT HER WHEN SHE WAS HELPLESS#justin had NPCs on standby in case things got ugly without The Tank but they straight up were the only ones who helped me at all#.... ANYWAY. all of which is to say. we're not on a darkest timeline path or anything but she's in the metaphorical moonlight right now#and it's only by the grace of 'I trust my DM' and specifically 'this campaign balances darkness with meaningful hope and love really well'#that she's not doing worse :') got some dark times to stew in#but now that I'm thinking about it I can be proactively thinking about when to bring more yellow back in#about me#my OCs#aubree
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Harana | Jungkook
harana (n.): the act of wooing someone by serenading them
→ summary:
Unwilling to settle down with you after five years of dating, Jeon Jungkook decides to break up to chase after his dreams. In the aftermath, you leave your hometown, desperate to forget your past and relearn what it means to be on your own. Two years later while on your way to work, you pass by a familiar voice singing songs about a girl he had left behind.
{or alternatively: Jungkook still sings the love songs that he wrote for you. He still means them, too.}
→ genre: busker!au, exes to lovers, angst, humor → warnings: jimin is insane and kinda crude (he has some issues going on), jungkook is a pathetic wet bunny but he's trying his best, oc has So Many Problems, so much arguing and yearning, ambiguous ending??? but my god there is hope!! the humanity of it all!! → words: 16.1K → a/n: HOLY SHIT IM BACK (kinda) and happy new year!! yeah ok its march but im relearning how to form coherent sentences so be patient ;w; this is the first installment of my hfoh series that i teased a LONG time ago... i made it a resolution to complete this series by the end of the year before i kms (Keep Myself Safe) so here's to a brand new year :D (oh god @ universe pls be kind)
part of the “heart full of hugot” series
Two days before the incident, your shower nozzle decides to explode.
Okay, you have to admit that statement is a little misleading. Shower nozzles, in all its nonsentience, do not randomly decide to explode no matter how much you try to defend yourself to your landlord. Maybe your grip had been a little too harsh that morning, or maybe hanging 5 pounds of hair products on the handle had been a bit too much for the old sport to handle. Or maybe, just maybe, the universe was warning you about the incident.
Whatever it was, it doesn’t erase the fact that your shower would be out of commission for the next week or so (though your landlord seems adamant about prolonging your suffering as long as possible). Until then, you’re going to have to find some other ways to keep the grease and grime from building on you. Heavens know that you already have a thriving ecosystem living in the back of your couch—you don’t need another one growing under your armpits.
Lucky for you, you have friends. More importantly, you have friends who have showers. There is one problem though—all your friends live on the other side of the country.
It’s been two years since you moved to the Big City™️, but you have done little to grow your social network. Call it introversion or depression, either way, you have no more contacts on your phone than you did when you left your hometown. Well, except for one person, if you could even consider him one. Frankly, you didn’t have a choice.
“Welcome to my humble abode, stinky,” Jimin greets you as you enter his house. Your nose is instantly assaulted by the smell of Bath & Body Works® Sweet Pea, reminding you once more why you didn’t consider him a friend.
“Hey,” you reply gruffly, shucking your ratty shoes near his entrance. Your shoes look incredibly out of place amidst the sea of designer Chelsea boots and a singular pair of thigh-high heels. You take a glance at his living room, already feeling worse about yourself tenfold.
You had met Park Jimin by complete accident, much like how his mother probably felt when she first saw him too. You had never known anyone quite as… interesting as him, to put it lightly.
When you got your job as a hostess for a luxury bar and restaurant, you figured you wouldn’t make many friends with your coworkers. Everyone was so… pretty, but in the shiny, untouchable sort of way. Almost all of the servers were as gorgeous as the models you’d see in magazines. You hadn’t known that the owners only hired a certain “demographic” of people for their restaurant, and you were equal parts flattered and disgusted that you’d somehow made it (though you suppose your bullshitting skills were all to thank).
Unsurprisingly, even the bartenders were gorgeous, including one Park Jimin. He did have an aura to him that screamed “I’m a cut above the rest and I know it,” but that could just be the gold chains dripping down his neck. You almost mistook him as one of the patrons who mistakenly made his way behind the bar, and knowing the sort of clientele you’ve had to deal with so far, you wouldn’t have been surprised. It took a couple of weeks before you finally found out who he was (and what his fucking problem was).
Jimin was a part-time bartender with a full-time job as a bitch a self-made entrepreneur. Which is to say, he sold… tasteful photos of himself on the internet. You had nothing against his line of work. In fact, you would go far as to say you didn’t give a shit what he did outside of your shared workspace. But if there’s one thing Jimin is, it’s that he hates being ignored.
So when you were adamant about not oohing and aahing at everything that makes Park Jimin perfect, he made it his self-appointed mission to befriend you. Or at least that’s what he claims, but given how he treats you lesser than the shit that cakes his cheeks, you have a lot of doubts. Perhaps he’s never made an effort to make a friend, hence his inexperience with being a decent human being. Or perhaps he’s just an asshole, but who is to say? The point is: he’s the only person you knew in this godforsaken city who would likely allow you to use his shower without being awkward about it and that’s that.
The worst part about being an acquaintance with Park Jimin was that he lived in the richest area of Downtown but he wasn’t old money, that’s for sure. His entire essence screamed overconsumption, and his myriad of little trinkets littered across his apartment confirmed your previous assessment. You wouldn’t be surprised if you opened his freezer and found ten types of ice sorted assorted by color and shape like the extra bitch that he was.
He made his money through sheer force, and it would have impressed you if he wasn’t, you know. Him.
“Bathroom is over there. I placed a towel and other shower amenities that you can borrow,” he says pointing to a door with a large “FART ZONE: ENTER WITH CAUTION” sign taped to it. You don’t ask.
“Thanks,” you say flatly. You wait patiently for his out-of-pocket comment.
Like clockwork, Jimin smirks. “Sure thing. I gave you the super heavy-duty stuff. Figured you’d burn a hole through my expensive towels with how stinky you are, with your yeasty cu—”
“Aaaand I’ll be done in a few minutes. Thanks again Jimin,” you interrupt, making your way to the bathroom and slamming the door with as much force as you can muster. You hear something fall as the door shuts, and you vaguely hear Jimin mutter something about his “fart zone” signage.
You begin to prepare your shower routine, humming lowly as you go about your business. You try to ignore the suffocating scent of ten million diffusers entering your nostrils, wondering for the umpteenth time if Jimin is suffering from long-term olfactory dysfunction.
“Focus, Y/N. The quicker you shower, the quicker you can get the fuck out of here,” you whisper to yourself. However, in your haste, you knock over Jimin’s towel by accident. When the towel falls, a sheet of sandpaper slips out from underneath it, and you stare bemusedly until it finally hits you.
“YOU ARE SUCH A LITTLE BITCH!”
From behind the door, you can hear Jimin’s infamous cackle. “Did you find the loofah? I got it just for you, darling!” he shouts back through his laughter, and you just grumble back in response. How on earth no one has strangled him to death, you have no idea.
“Whatever. I’m gonna shower now! Go beat off or whatever the fuck you do in your spare time,” you grouse, stripping as quickly as possible.
When the first droplets of water hit your body, you can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. You had both anticipated and dreaded going to Jimin’s house, but you desperately needed the shower. So you go through your routine, trying to find some semblance of relaxation throughout the process. However, it seems that Jimin was yearning for a little bit of attention as he chose to recline on the other side of the door and chat your ear off. Peace was never an option, it seems.
“Hey, Y/N! So why haven’t I seen you at work recently?” Jimin hollers from his living room. Despite the wall separating you, his voice manages to retain its volume.
You squirt a large glob of Jimin’s (expensive) conditioner onto your hands. “What do you mean? I go to work every day. You were the one who hasn’t been clocking in.”
You can hear Jimin scoff. “Um, correction! I went to work last Friday, which so happened to be your day off. If I didn’t know any better, I would have assumed you were avoiding me.”
And right you are, you think. But instead, you say, “Yeah, what a coincidence. I’ll be back to my regular schedule on Monday, though.”
“So that means you didn’t see the Justin Bieber wannabe stationed outside the restaurant then?” Jimin asks, voice miffed. “The guy suddenly sat down by the entrance window and a whole damn crowd started to appear! The absolute nerve of these people—don’t they know Park Jimin was just past the doors?”
This provokes Jimin to go on his long epic soliloquy, which you’ve learned to drown out over the past two years. He could go on hour-long tirades if he wanted, and any interruption from you would just bounce off his nonfunctioning ears. And so, you allow his voice to fall to the back of your mind, similar to white noise if it wasn’t so grating.
However, this was likely your greatest mistake. If you hadn’t been so exhausted, or if Park Jimin hadn’t been so damn annoying all the time, or if the stars had aligned just right… Maybe you would have been forewarned about the incident. It’s as if the universe was screaming at you to pay attention, but alas… You were standing on the proverbial highway, unbeknownst to the incoming traffic because you had your metaphorical AirPods on.
So there you are, completely showered but none the wiser to your impending doom, naively looking to the future with unsuspecting eyes. Even if you had known of what was to come, would avoiding it even be possible? In hindsight, you suppose not, but you still kick yourself for being so blind. If only you’d steeled your heart, then maybe you wouldn’t have felt like vomiting in front of a crowd of innocent bystanders the very next day.
xxx
Monday comes and your shower still isn’t fixed. Jimin makes the benevolent gesture of allowing you to use his shower in the meantime, though you’ll only partake in his offer as minimally as possible. He does mention that he’ll need at least an hour’s notice, warning you about “accidental voyeurism.” You shudder to think of what sort of horror you might find if you did visit him without warning, and you pray for the continued well-being of your retinas.
On your way to work, you’re too busy watching cute videos of animals to notice the unusual flock of people idling close to your workplace. When you get closer, however, the growing commotion is enough to rip your gaze away from your phone, and the sight of the large crowd makes you stop in your tracks.
It is 4 pm and the usual line of waiting patrons should not start piling up for another three hours, so this confuses you more than anything. You shuffle closer, squinting at the crowd until you notice that they aren’t lined up at all; instead, they have congregated into a large circle, but you are too far to see what they are surrounding.
An accident? You worry, wondering if something terrible happened. You tiptoe above the heads of people, subtly moving forward to take a better look. Curse you and your curiosity. You take a deep breath, bracing yourself to see something grotesque or astonishing, but instead…
It’s worse.
Inching closer, you can begin to hear a soft thrumming of a guitar and a gentle singing voice that causes alarm bells to ring in your ears. The warm melody digs up old memories of a time long past: of ballads sung outside your childhood bedroom window, of promises whispered under Spiderman sheets, of tender caresses tucking stray hairs behind your ears… They flood your senses, but all you can feel is dread.
It can’t be who you think it is. You accidentally elbow a guy on your way to get closer, unsteadying his grip on his phone.
“Hey, watch it! I’m filming a totally not-staged TikTok over here!” He yells, but you can hardly pay attention to him when you feel unnaturally drawn to come closer, still.
You’re nearly at the front, with just a couple of teenagers standing between you and the (not-so) mysterious street performer. But the distance is enough, and your breath catches. You can see him—
Black hair partially hidden under a bucket hat. Boots bigger than Pangaea and a pair of eyes equally as large. Dark ink snaking down his arms, peeking out from under oversized sleeves. Piercings that could rival Park Jimin on a good day. He isn’t facing you, but you can still see his big doe eyes, gentle sloping nose, and pretty lips stretched into a handsome smile.
Your heart is thundering in your chest. This can’t be happening, you panic. After two whole years of rebuilding and reshaping yourself, relearning how to be yourself and not… not just his girlfriend.
Jeon Jungkook stands before you, busking in front of your workplace of all locations. The universe could not have been any crueler to you.
You—you had been known as nothing more than Jeon Jungkook’s high school sweetheart. Buried memories of snide comments from jealous teen girls fill your mind, reminding you of the time when you were coined a simple side piece to the main attraction. Decor, as they would call you. Nothing more than a girl who happened to snag Jungkook before people realized he was going to turn… hot. A hot guy who could sing. An inevitable chic magnet, as they would call him.
And now, years later after much therapy and soul searching, your worst nightmare is standing in front of you in the flesh. This is what you will eventually dub the incident.
At that moment, however, there is little to no time to dwell on naming this ongoing core memory. All you can feel is the adrenaline pumping through your veins, as well as the nausea rising up your throat. You stumble backward, blatantly shoving onlookers away as you struggle to find some air to breathe. In hindsight, you probably should have backed away as subtly as possible, but you hope that your dyed hair might be different enough that Jungkook wouldn’t know it was you if he had glanced your way.
Even when you stagger towards your work establishment, the walls cannot perfectly muffle his soothing singing. You can’t make out the lyrics to his song too well, but his unmistakable voice is hard to ignore. Working as a hostess, your station is also coincidentally as close to the door as possible for maximum torture.
This can’t get any worse, you think as your mind races with conflicting emotions. You thought you had moved on, thought you were past the pain and the memories, but seeing Jungkook again, unexpectedly, stirs up a storm of feelings you thought were buried deep. Anger, hurt, betrayal—all rush to the surface, threatening to overwhelm you.
But there is no time to unpack all that baggage right now. Time will continue to march on, and your job is still on the line. How can you have the time to have a mental breakdown when you were still living paycheck to paycheck?
But even as you try to push Jungkook out of your mind, his voice echoes in your ears, his image burned into your memory. It's as if the universe is laughing at your misery, reminding you that despite all your supposed growth, you are still just you.
Painfully and pathetically you.
As you struggle to pull yourself together, a familiarly loud voice rings outside the edge of your consciousness. “Hey, Y/N! Fancy seeing you here…” Jimin greets you, his usual jovial demeanor halting midway when he sees your panicked expression. He clears his throat, perplexed. “Umm… Are you alright there, girl? You’re looking a little pale.”
You do not even have the mental capacity to wonder why Park Jimin was miraculously early to his shift, nor why he seems genuinely worried for you. Rather, all you can do is wave him off and use what little time you have before the restaurant opens to steel yourself for hours of melodious torture.
“I’m fine, Park. You should get to work,” you grit out, wiping your sweaty palms on your uniform. Normally, Jimin would have teased you about the obvious wrinkles on your skirt.
“You’re not the boss of me,” Jimin huffs, always the contrarian. He thinks better of it, however, and softens his tone. “Are you feeling sick or something? You look like you just saw a ghost.”
You freeze, perhaps giving yourself away a little. “I’m fine,” you repeat.
“You know, if you refuse to elaborate, I’m going to have to retract your shower privileges,” Jimin taunts with a smirk.
You feel a migraine growing by your temple, making you wince. God, why must men be the source of all your problems?
“I’m just… a little annoyed by the busker outside the restaurant,” you eventually admit, trying to be vague. Unfortunately for you, Jimin hates beating around the bush and would never take your crap if he knows something is up.
Unable to withstand the weight of his unimpressed stare, you clarify, “He was someone I used to know, that’s all.” You aren’t going to be any more specific than that, though you imagine Jimin gets the picture. You zip your lips, hoping to whoever is causing you pain that Jimin would somehow let the matter drop and leave you to your misery.
You brace yourself for his onslaught of questioning to come, and… it doesn’t happen. Instead, when you glance at Jimin, he is mysteriously stone faced. You wait for him to speak for what feels like a few minutes, but he doesn’t show any signs of wanting to tease or ridicule you. He simply watches you with a pensive expression. You can barely stop yourself from staring back at him, slack-jawed at his silence.
Of course, you aren’t just going to question your luck, or what little you have at least. So, you stay silent back and fidget uncomfortably.
Finally, Jimin seems to snap out of his strange reverie. He fixes you with a bizarrely sympathetic grin, patting you affectionately on the back. “I see… Well, if you ever need a drink tonight, head over to the bar for a little sip. I got you covered,” is all he says in response before sashaying away.
That was so fucking weird. You want to chase after him, perhaps beat the truth out of him. Jimin is nothing but a scheming dick, and you aren’t about to let him roam free with such sensitive information about yourself. Just as you’re about to stomp his ass (perhaps to relieve some of the building tension from your weary soul), your manager pops his head from his office door.
“Y/N! Make sure you’re logged into the booking system. There’s going to be a party of 20 coming in about an hour,” he reminds you, shooting you an apologetic look. You nod back with a sigh, swiping the booking tablet from the hostess desk and scrolling through the logs. Sure enough, it is going to be a busy night despite being a Monday evening. Perhaps a little busier than usual, in fact.
Whatever. You will use whatever distraction you can get, and perhaps the approaching noise from the restaurant patrons will be enough to drown out the sound of his voice.
You aren’t religious by any means, but you pray to whatever higher power exists that Jeon Jungkook doesn’t somehow decide to enter the restaurant. Stay outside, you plead. Outside the restaurant and your life, if possible.
Throughout the evening, you do your best to push aside the memories that threaten to resurface. You greet customers with a smile, lead them to their tables, and ensure their dining experience is pleasant despite the anxiety poisoning your insides. It's a routine you've perfected over time, a shield against the chaos of your emotions.
As the night wears on, you can feel Jimin's eyes on you from across the restaurant. You sneak glances back at him, and you blanch at his pitying gaze. If the restaurant had been slightly less crowded, you would have flipped him off.
He’s probably enjoying my suffering, you think darkly. Unwilling to give him the satisfaction, you straighten up and do your best to appear more unaffected. Just as you do so, you can hear Jungkook perfectly hitting a soulful high note.
“I’m so sorry for thinking I was strong,” you whisper to the universe. “Forgive me for my insolence.” You clench your fist in anguish, ignoring the confused looks from the customers in front of you.
By the time your shift comes to a close, you are completely and utterly drained. You feel like a snail that has been continuously salted over the past eight hours, and you cannot help but cheer in relief when the clock finally strikes two in the morning. You have to wait for the last few diners to make their leave, but otherwise you are ready to let your bed swallow you whole.
You stand by your hostess desk, leaning your head against it with a defeated sigh. Jungkook’s voice had died down only a few minutes ago, and you hope that by this point he has mercifully left the premises. You want to take a peek to make sure, but just as you’re about to make your way to the door, you feel a hand on your shoulder stop you in your tracks.
“‘Sup, bitch.” Jimin still has that weird, pitying gaze pointed at you, though his words don’t match it. “Are you okay to go home alone tonight? I can bring your dumb ass home if you want.”
You shove his hand away, ready to bite his head off when you think better of it. If Jimin drives you home, then that lowers the chances of seeing Jungkook down to pretty much zero.
“You know what? Thanks,” you grouse. Jimin smiles at you winningly, and the image of it brings a shiver down your spine. You hit him, creeped out. “Hey. Stop that, will you? You’re being really weird?”
Jimin scoffs, crossing his arms. “Me? Weird? At least I don’t look like a damn firework ready to explode just because my cringelord ex-boyfriend is singing sappy love songs outside—”
“Shut the fuck up,” you seethe, stomping on his foot. He yelps in pain and slaps your shoulder in retaliation.
“Ouch! Watch your ogre feet! My shoes are worth twice your monthly rent I’ll have you know,” he bristles. He breathes deeply, likely finding his inner calm (which you doubt exists). “But because I’m so nice, I’ll ignore your earlier transgression and blame it on your underdeveloped amygdala.”
You don’t know what’s more surprising: the fact that Jimin knew what an amygdala was or that he was forgiving you in the first place. “Whatever. Let’s finish closing up and then head out. I’m exhausted.”
You make quick work of your task and when you’re ready to head out, Jimin is already waiting by the backdoor. He’s twirling his car keys with a finger and gestures for you to follow him. As you make your way to his car in the back parking lot, you catch sight of a lone figure standing next to a beat-up pickup truck. He’s leaning against it, his hands busy tuning a battered guitar.
Your breath hitches, and you immediately feel nauseous. Of course the incident has yet to end. The night is young, after all.
Jimin accidentally slams the backdoor closed, and the noise wrenches Jungkook’s attention away from his ministrations. Immediately, his eyes lock with Jimin before finally turning to you.
Your heart skips a beat as he gazes at you, your mind racing with a hurricane of emotions. You hadn’t expected to see him again so soon, especially not after the tumultuous encounter earlier in the day. What did you say earlier? That “the chances of seeing Jungkook was down to pretty much zero”?
The chances of seeing Jungkook is low, but never zero, your mind unhelpfully supplies.
There is a long period of awkward silence. Jungkook has his mouth slightly agape, his hand subconsciously lowering his guitar to rest against his truck. To your left, Jimin’s breathing quickens slightly. You, on the other hand, are trying your best not to projectile vomit in this damned parking lot.
Jungkook is the one who decides to break the delicate silence. “Is that you…?” he calls out hesitantly.
Don’t say my name don’t say my name don’t say my name don’t say my name don’t say my—
“Y/N,” Jimin interjects. His gaze is steel cold, uncharacteristic of the carefree boy. He slings an arm around your shoulders, gently nudging you towards his car. With your view still fixed on Jungkook, you miss the way Jimin shoots the other boy with a playful smirk. “C’mon, babe. Let’s go home.”
His words startle both you and Jungkook. “Wha—? Jimin?” you splutter, flushing at his flirtatious undertone. You want to curse him out for his strange behavior, but all the shock has left you mute.
Jimin all but shoves you into the passenger seat. But just as he’s about to slam the car door, you hear Jungkook call out your name. It’s fleeting and quiet, but you heard him crystal clear.
It breaks your spirit to hear him say your name. For a moment, you feel as though you are floating.
When was the last time he called your name? And so softly, too? If you could replay that moment over and over, would you be able to catch some signs of tenderness in his voice? When you close your eyes later that night, would your dreams show you that he had been gazing at you with yearning? Was any of it true?
As Jimin starts the car and pulls away from the curb, you steal one last glance out the window, only to find Jungkook staring at you with an arm outstretched. You continue to watch him until his figure disappears into the night.
You are quietly immersed in your own thoughts, the whirlwind of emotions intensifying your persistent migraine. Unaccustomed to silence, Jimin decides to give his unsolicited two cents, as per usual.
“Geez. Didn’t know you were into the whole starving artist type. If I’d known, then maybe I’d stop trying to brag about my fortune to you,” Jimin scoffs. “If loser buskers like him impress you, then maybe I should—”
“Would you shut the fuck up for once in your fucking life!” You explode, whirling to face him with a glare. Jimin has the audacity to flinch, but he doesn’t take his eyes off the road.
“What the fuck? Why the hell are you mad at me?”
“What the hell was that back there? ‘C’mon babe.’” You mimic his voice with a sneer. “Why on earth would you do that? Now he thinks that we…”
“Why do you care what he thinks? He’s your ex, remember?” Jimin cuts you off, but you can’t even refute him. He continues, “Figured as much. And judging by how spooked you’ve looked all day, I have to assume that he was an asshole, right? Why else would you accept my offer for a ride home if you really wanted to avoid seeing him?”
You shrink under his accurate assumptions. Damn, were you really that easy to read? “I… I mean, yeah but…” You clear your throat, still feeling wronged by him. “You didn’t have to act like a weird prick in front of him!”
Without warning, the floodgates burst forth. You begin to ramble, the thoughts that have been weighing you down pouring out of you in waves. “Jungkook was my ex, yeah. But he wasn’t an asshole. On the contrary, he was really sweet. The nicest guy in my school, at least. Wouldn’t hurt a fly, that sort of person. I dated him all throughout high school and he was a great partner.”
Jimin hums skeptically. “Then why the messy break-up?”
“It wasn’t messy!” You retort defensively.
“Could’ve fooled me!” Jimin snorts. “I also frequently act like a trembling kitten when I see my exes,” he says sarcastically.
You ignore him. “The reason we broke it off was because he wanted to pursue his dreams to become a singer after high school and I wanted to do other things. It was a mutual break-up! Honestly, I’m glad that we did. Too many girls wanted him and all the unwanted attention was getting on my nerves. I was glad to find a reason to end it all,” you explain, hoping you didn’t sound as shaky as you felt. What you said was mostly true, though you left out the important bits to yourself. Mostly to save some of your dignity intact. (Truthfully, you just didn’t want to admit things you weren’t ready to face.)
“Then if you’re so glad, why do you look like you wanted to shit yourself? It ain’t adding up,” Jimin fires back.
“It’s just—” you stammer, trying to find a reason why you were so bent out of shape after seeing him. “I-I was caught off guard, I guess. I knew he was pursuing his dreams to sing and all, so I expected him to leave the country. I wasn’t expecting to see him outside where I work, of all places,” you mutter lamely. You have your head bowed, biting your lips from the nerves. Again, you weren’t totally lying.
Jimin is silent for a moment, contemplating your admission. When he looks so calm like this, it’s hard to get a read on what he’s thinking. As Jimin speeds down the highway, the street lights illuminate his face in a strange way, and for once, he looks like a stranger. His steely expression makes you nervous, for some reason.
Eventually, he asks you a question you would never have expected. “And he just let you go?”
You pause. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” Jimin huffs, irritated. “He just up and left without a fight? If I were him, I would have…” he trails off, his jaw clenching.
You don’t know where this Jimin came from. Under the moonlight, Jimin looks livid, but that can’t be right. Jimin, mad for you? Sure, you’ve seen his anger directed towards you, but this? Everything’s gotten so complicated, and you are just about ready to succumb to sleep and hope to wake from this nightmare.
The rest of the drive to your house is silent, save for the sounds coming from passing cars. Jimin pulls up to your apartment complex, his mysterious anger finally subsiding.
Just as you’re about to reach for the car door handle, Jimin places a hand on your shoulder. “Listen, Y/N. I’ll talk to management tomorrow morning. I know the manager well enough that I can probably convince him to do something about that ex of yours. He’s busking on private property, so it should be easy to get rid of him,” Jimin says, tone serious. He swallows, and for a moment you think he looks a little nervous. “If that’s what you want, I guess.”
His kindness scares you. You want to tease him, ask him where Mr. Bitchy and his $2000 Chelsea boots had gone. Anything to make this air of severe sincerity to abate. This new Jimin feels suffocating. But instead, you nod your head stiffly.
Jimin makes a pained expression for a moment, but it’s quickly replaced by his usual playful smirk. He slaps you upside the head, laughing heartily at your stunned face.
“Get some rest, babe. I’ll see you tomorrow evening,” he chuckles, reaching over to open the door for you. You scramble out into the cold city air, taking one last look back at him through his window.
He rolls it down, leaning forward to flash a toothy grin at you. “Hey, stop with all the angst, pookie. Wouldn’t want my favorite toy to get sick from overthinking. Who else would I bother at work if not you?”
You snort, both endeared and irritated in equal measure. He’s right. Everything was going back to normal tomorrow, you’re sure of it. You flip him off with a cheeky grin before making your way to your apartment.
Everything is going to be okay. Jimin says he’ll do something about it, and for whatever reason, you feel like you can trust him on this. Surely good fortune was soon to be upon you.
xxx
Jimin had texted you while you were still sleeping:
Spoke to Manager Jeong about your little problem. He said he’ll deal with him.
You breathe a sigh of relief, your body feeling significantly lighter. Your sleep last night had been tumultuous and restless. You feel more tired than you did when you went to bed, but all your weariness fades once you read Jimin’s text.
Once you make it to work, you find that management has gotten rid of Jungkook somehow. Added with the fact that your landlord has promised to look into repairing your shower (no guarantees, but you want to stay optimistic), today has been significantly better compared to yesterday. You even catch yourself humming as you set up your workstation, a small smile gracing your lips.
Jimin has a later shift this evening, and you find that you are somewhat disappointed for once. Your overwhelming gratitude is surely the only reason, otherwise you would never admit to wanting to see him at any given time.
You are in the midst of texting Jimin about all the good news when your manager passes by your desk. You are quick to pocket your phone away from his prying eyes, ready to defend that you aren’t slacking off… but his demeanor does not reveal any ire. In fact, he looks rather pleased for once.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Jeong. What’s up?” you ask, suspicious. You instinctively fold your hands behind your back; it is a subconscious effort on your part to keep your distance from him. Something about your manager always gives you a bad feeling when he looks a little too happy.
He grins widely. “Everything is going splendidly, Ms. Y/N. In fact, I think today might just be our lucky day!”
Never during your time working here has his and your luck ever coincided. “Our lucky day?” you echo.
“Why, yes! I spoke with your lovely friend and coworker Jimin this morning,” he starts, and immediately your alarm bells ring. You don’t even bother correcting him about the ‘friend’ part like you normally would. He continues, “He gave me a brilliant idea about the busker who had been performing in front of the restaurant the past two days.”
You nod slowly, not quite understanding. “Yes… The busker has been quite… the spectacle,” you say carefully. Somehow, you know calling Jungkook a ‘nuisance’ would have been the wrong choice in this instance.
Manager Jeong beams. “Exactly! You must have noticed the amount of people we served yesterday despite being a Monday. Additionally, almost all of those new customers requested outdoor seating no less!”
You feel the world tilt on its axis. What is he on abou—?
“What are you talking about?” you exhale.
“Don’t you think it would be even better for business if we got that busker to perform inside the restaurant? Why, it’s a brilliant idea and I don’t know why I didn’t think of it first! Our live band has always been missing something special, and perhaps a vocal accompaniment is the exact answer to our problem! Think about it, the atmosphere would be…”
Manager Jeong continues to prattle animatedly about his plans to your unhearing ears. There must be static or cotton plugging your head because you cannot possibly understand anything he is saying. Jungkook? Inside? Performing at your restaurant? But Jimin said he had spoken to the manager about getting Jungkook away from you! None of this makes sense.
“That makes no sense,” you verbalize, unknowingly cutting Manager Jeong from his monologue. He halts in surprise, as if now just realizing you were standing there (much less capable of interrupting or disagreeing with him). When he snaps out of it, you sense that familiarly sinister aura emerging from him in waves. You belatedly realize he must have mistaken your outburst as antagonistic.
“Well, Ms. Y/N. Whether it makes sense or not, we have hired Mr. Jeon to perform live at the bar stage for the next four weeknights. If, for some unknowable reason, I am incorrect,” he pauses to emphasize his words, “then his services will be promptly terminated. However, judging by his popularity from simply standing out in the cold and singing silly love songs, I am sure that worry is unwarranted.”
Behind you, the telltale sound of the main door swinging open catches you even more off guard. You do not even have the chance to turn to face the newcomer, only managing to register the gust of cold wind that accompanies their entry.
And so, you hear him before you see him.
“Hello?” Jeon Jungkook greets quietly.
Even without turning, you can imagine how he looks, how he stands, how he feels, how he tastes—
Manager Jeong claps his hands gleefully. “Splendid timing! Speak of the devil…” The older man nearly skips towards Jungkook like a youthful school girl, accompanied by his uncharacteristic squeals of excitement.
You can feel his gaze on you, almost tangibly. With nothing but your shreds of dignity left intact, you force yourself to face him.
He’s still so tall, is all your mind can helpfully supply as you stand feet away from your high school sweetheart for the first time in two years. He’s still wearing the same bucket hat from the night before, semi-shielding him from view. Despite that, you catch a small flash of white graze his bottom lip as he chews the soft flesh nervously.
“Hi, Y/N.” He addresses you directly, completely overlooking your manager without a single glance. Despite his hat, he still has his eyes lasered on you, as if not quite believing you were there. You hate how his attention makes you shiver all the same.
Even though he ignored your manager (which would have been a major dispute had you done the same), Jungkook still receives a friendly handshake in return. “Mr. Jeon! I’m surprised you know Ms. Y/N, though I’m sure you must have spoken with her when she was escorting guests to the outdoor seating the other day.”
You had actually gotten your co-hostess to seat all the outdoor seatings yesterday, but you weren’t going to mention that.
Manager Jeong claps him on the back, inadvertently causing Jungkook to stumble forward closer to you. He looks up at you then, eyes bugging out of their sockets like a rabbit caught in a bear trap. You stagger backwards in turn, barely concealing the anxiety on your face. Oh fucking hell.
Your manager is none the wiser, of course. “Well, this makes my job much easier! Since you’re both acquainted, I’ll let Y/N show you the ropes. The band doesn’t start their set until later in the evening, but you’re free to take a look at the stage and other parts of our facility in the meantime,” he says, chuffed. Meanwhile, Jungkook looks like he’s been shot by a freeze ray.
Then, your manager points a sharper gaze at you. “Ms. Y/N, treat our super star well. I know you won’t disappoint me.”
Fucking superstar… You can only nod in defeat. “Y-Yes, sir…” you whisper, clenching your uniform with your fists. It is the only way to keep them from shaking like a leaf. You watch as his figure disappears behind his office door, leaving you to fend for yourself. Powerless, you train your gaze to the floor, unwilling to meet Jungkook’s eyes.
But the nerves are taking control of your body, screaming at you to eject, eject, eject!
“Sorry, I have to go to the toilet,” you splutter quickly, almost tripping over yourself on the way to the restroom. You dimly wonder if Jungkook is going to think you’re leaving to throw up, but you can’t find any self-respect left to care. All you need is air and space to breathe—preferably away from him.
You slam open the stall, hardly checking to see if anyone else is around before locking the door shut. You sit on the toilet, plant your face between your knees, and scream.
Should you go home and use sickness as an excuse? But even if you did, you still had shifts every weeknight. You would have to see him eventually. You can pray all you want that Jungkook will be fired by the end of the week, but even your delusional mind can never fathom the idea that anyone would willingly want to send Jeon Jungkook away. Plus, you remember that the regular band that plays at the restaurant has been wanting to get a singer to accompany them for ages, and you know just how damn affable he can be. They are going to love him, and you hate him for that.
It is clear to you that there is no other option:
You pull out your phone to quickly open up Indeed on your browser, frantically hunting for any openings that might fit your measly qualifications. However, you have to pause in your search to deliberate. Wouldn’t it be better to move out of the country? You had been so naive to think that moving cities was enough distance between you and Jungkook—going across the ocean is the obvious answer. Should you start up your Duolingo lessons again and hope that you can somehow survive in a different continent with only a few dollars to your name?
You shut your phone in despair. Whether or not your plans of escape are feasible or not, in the short term, you are stuck with having to suck it up and just learn to ignore your ex-boyfriend’s presence. Surely you can force out a fake smile or two, especially with how much practice you’ve gotten after working with unbearably entitled customers.
Taking a step outside of the restroom stall, you head to the sink to splash some cold on your face. You stare at the mirror, confronted by a girl who looks two seconds away from having a Netflix Original-esque meltdown. You rake your fingers through your hair, doing your best to look like you aren’t about to rush into incoming traffic. To no one's surprise, it doesn't work.
“Okay, I got this. Just pretend like he’s just some guy, because at the end of the day, he is just some guy,” you mutter to your reflection. She looks back at you unconvinced. “He may have broken my heart into little bite size pieces, but who cares! HE’S JUST A GUY!” You repeat the phrase over and over again like a lunatic, in a desperate attempt to cognitively alter your brain chemistry.
At that moment, one of the other stalls in the restroom creaks open, and a girl you recognize who works as one of the dishwashers walks out. You both have a silent eye conversation as she quietly studies your crazed expression and crumpled work uniform.
Eventually, she awkwardly clears her throat, pointing to the only sink in the restroom. “Uh, sorry to hear about your, uh, guy problem. Could I use the sink please?”
You hastily back away, allowing her to take your spot. You don’t even have the energy to apologize for your spectacle, just bowing sheepishly to her before making your way back to the main hall. If she rats you out to the rest of your coworkers, then that gives you another reason to move out of the country. Maybe you should consider a name change while you’re at it.
When you exit the restroom, you half expect Jungkook to be waiting for you by the door, but find that he isn’t anywhere nearby. He isn’t by your hostess station either, and you thank your lucky stars for once. Even if your manager had asked you to show him around, you’re sure that Jungkook can find his way around just fine. Plus, the stage is at the corner of the restaurant and is sufficiently far enough that you wouldn’t have to make eye contact with him if you were careful.
You don’t know which greater entity has been messing with your sanity these past few days, but you hope that they can show you mercy just once—a brief reprieve, if anything.
You clasp your hands in prayer. I’ll eat more vegetables, I’ll remember to floss, I’ll call my parents from time to time… Just please let me survive tonight.
“Remember, Y/N… He’s just some guy,” you reiterate through gritted teeth. If a passing coworker happens to overhear your demented chanting, then you pay them no mind.
You walk towards the entrance, flipping the sign to open. You feel like a video game character when you glance at the clock, which signals the start of your shift. You can imagine the red bold text hovering above your head: 8 more hours until freedom.
This is just like playing Five Nights at Freddy’s, except you’ve only watched the movie and you suspect your life is probably worse than whatever Josh Hutcherson had to survive through.
You take a couple heaving breaths to brace yourself for what will be the longest eight hours of your life. You’ll show Jungkook just how well-adjusted and mature you’ve become. You are a professional, and not even a boy with angelic vocals will make you crumble. After all, what’s the worst he can do?
xxx
He could, in fact, do a lot worse than you thought.
“I have many regrets being born at all,” you mutter bleakly, three hours into your shift.
Jungkook had started singing only an hour ago, so you had been filled with false confidence at first when the restaurant was filled with nothing but ambient chatter and soothing jazz music. You felt more and more confident as the minutes ticked by and your anxiety slowly melted away. You even forgot that he was somewhere in the back, likely warming up or whatever it is that singers did before a performance.
However, your brief moment of courage shatters almost immediately when Jungkook finally takes the stage.
At first, you did your best to tune out his voice, but it’s especially hard when whoever was in charge of the sound system decided to crank his volume to an excruciating level. You wanted desperately to grab some napkins and shove them in your ears, but you suspected that your customers (and manager) would be unappreciative of that gesture. And so there you lay, forced to wallow in Jungkook’s melodious singing like a criminal strapped to an electric chair.
But how much more pleasant an electric chair would be! Why on earth was Jungkook so adamant to sing sad love songs the entire time? Why couldn’t he be like his other singing contemporaries, who loved to write songs about getting bitches and making money? At the very least, even if he wasn’t quite a platinum selling artist just yet, surely he was constantly sharing beds with anyone he pleases? Couldn’t he sing about that?!
(In the back of your mind, you wonder if it would be less painful to learn that Jungkook has slept with multiple people… Because then, it would mean that he had moved on while you stood alone on your island, stranded and yearning.)
You didn’t want to think too deeply about his lyrics. However, you're only human. So when your mind barrier failed and you caught snippets of his singing, you noticed a pattern. There was always a girl in his songs. She was omnipresent, and Jungkook was always pleading for her. Begging and aching and wanting. But most all… he was always repenting. In every song, he always whispered a pious apology.
You feared what would happen if you turned around in those moments of weakness. You were terrified of admitting something, of letting words spill that had been trapped in your throat for the better part of two years.
Lucky for you, salvation comes in the form of one Park Jimin. Though, can you even count him as your savior when he had also inadvertently caused your demise?
Jimin doesn’t even have a shift today, so you’re more than surprised when his bright blonde head stumbles through the restaurant doors. His expensive coat is askew and his signature designer shades are nowhere to be found. He is panic incarnate—an expression you have never seen on his face before.
“Holy fuck,” he greets, his chest heaving as he struggles to catch his breath. His profanity startles the elderly couple waiting to be seated, their glares menacingly sharp. To his credit, Jimin doesn’t even seem phased.
In lieu of an answer, you gesture vaguely behind you. You can imagine how dejected you must look. “Holy fuck indeed,” you sigh.
It takes a moment for Jimin to regain his bearings. He straightens up and pats down his coat, but his hair is still tousled by the wind. If not for the fact that he has a car, you might have thought he had run all the way here.
“I am so sorry. I didn’t know this was going to happen,” he starts, genuinely remorseful. “I texted Manager Jeong this morning and he said he’d get your ex to leave, but I didn’t think he’d offer the damn bastard a job!”
“Mind your language, Park. I’m still at work,” you scold. You try your best to ignore the scrutinizing gaze of the elderly couple. You lower your voice. “And don’t apologize. I know you’re an asshole, but I doubt you’d actually prey on my downfall like this. I know you’re not into public humiliation.”
Jimin brightens slightly at your joke, but he still looks like a guilty puppy who'd been caught shitting on the carpet. “Yeah, well. I happen to enjoy tormenting you and I won’t let some upstart Charlie Puth wannabe ruin your life. That’s my job.”
You smile wryly at him. “Well, that’s too bad. Jungkook’s been singing for a few hours now and I’m pretty sure Manager Jeong is going to keep him long-term. He might have broken my heart, but damn does he have vocals. I'm sure you'll have plenty competition when it comes to 'who can make Y/N's life feel like hell.'”
Jimin doesn't smile back, but instead studies your face for a moment. Then:
“Do you think if I offer to suck Manager Jeong off, he’ll fire him?”
“What the fuck?” You nearly yell out in surprise, your jaw dropping to the floor. Judging by his serious scowl, you know he's actually considering it. By now, the elderly couple waiting to be seated have left the premises.
Jimin continues, unperturbed. “I know he secretly wants me, based on how his wife seems to have a personal vendetta against me. He definitely wants a taste of my bus—.”
“Stop, I get it!” You wave your hands to make him shut up, heat rising up your cheeks. “Never say that string of words to me ever again. You have just inflicted ten years of suffering onto my poor brain.”
“Hey, I’m just offering solutions here!” Jimin pouts.
You stare at him, unimpressed. “Save it. You tried solving my problems already, so let’s just accept the fact that there’s nothing else for me to do but to suck it up. It’s time for me to put on my big girl pants for a change.”
“I mean, I could do all the sucking instead, but you’re being a little bitch about it,” Jimin mumbles. He’s lucky you didn’t hear him this time, lest you give him something to really whine about.
“Anyway, I guess this is my life now. Nothing to do except hope that he never tries to interact with me or I can find another job,” you shrug.
Over your shoulder, Jimin fixes Jungkook with an icy glare that is cold enough to give you the shivers. For the first time that entire night, you hazard a glance back at the stage, finding that Jungkook is already looking back at you.
You whip your head back forward, perspiration forming down your back. For fuck’s sake, this guy.
“Well, let me know if he tries anything. I’ll beat that little freak into the floor if he tries so much as breathing the same air as you.” Jimin huffs, puffing up his chest with false bravado. You can’t help but laugh at his empty threat, knowing that Jungkook could probably bench press Jimin without breaking a sweat. Jimin's muscles are only for aesthetics, after all.
“Don’t worry, he hasn’t actually spoken to me actually. He can keep singing his sad little love songs, I really don’t mind,” you say, like a liar. Jimin snorts, wholly unconvinced.
“Well, if you need me, I’m heading to the bar to grab a drink so I can stare at your ex uncomfortably until he leaves. See you!” Jimin bids you farewell with a cheery grin as he skips a little too happily inside the restaurant.
Why'd you have to befriend the largest lunatic in the city? You massage your forehead with a groan, willing away your growing headache.
The rest of the night trickles away like molasses. Jungkook continues to sing his heart out, save for an hour intermission where he presumably takes a short break. In his absence, you hear Jimin guffaw loudly, his laughter too sharp to be considered happy. You faintly hear Jungkook shy stutters in response, and you momentarily consider running in to interrupt.
Why? Did you want to save Jungkook from Jimin’s unnecessary harassment? It’s not like Jimin is doing it out nowhere, he was just trying to be… a good friend?
You pause to ponder. As much as you hate to admit it, you know why you want to help Jungkook. But Jimin on the other hand? Why did he want to help you? Questions begin flowing through your head like a whirlwind, and your nausea increases. God, when was your next therapy appointment again?
You save those questions for another day. As you look at your watch, there are only thirty minutes left until two in the morning. You tap your foot impatiently, smiling curtly at departing customers as the restaurant slowly emptied. As they left, you overhear some of your regulars giggling amongst themselves, whispering about the cute new singer and his charming demeanor.
The last nail on your coffin has been hammered. Yeah, Jungkook isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
With the restaurant closing soon, it sounds like Jungkook is ready to end his set as well.
Throughout the night, Jungkook rarely made a point to speak. The only time he didn’t sing was when he quietly introduced the title of his next song and the band swiftly began the first opening notes. For his last song, however, Jungkook decided to give a little more backstory for his final song.
“Hello, everyone. Thank you so much for listening to me for the night,” Jungkook says with a soft voice, his tone awfully shy despite his powerful belting throughout the evening. The few customers left give him a warm round of applause, and you hear the familiar sound of his timid giggles spill from the restaurant speakers.
“This will be my final song for the night. Most of the songs I sang today were covers, but this one is an original. I…” He hesitates for a moment, and something pulls you to turn despite the alarm bells ringing in your ears. You face him, and just like earlier in the evening, he is already looking back at you.
This time, you don’t look away; he does. His eyes flit to the ceiling, and he licks his lips from nerves. “I… I wrote this song a long while ago. I’ve never sang it in public before and I never thought it would ever see the light of day. Until, well…”
He stops again. This time, he gestures to the guitarist in the band, silently asking to borrow it. With a guitar in hand, he smiles a little more confidently at the small crowd of people. He begins strumming the first few notes, and your heart stops. “I hope everyone had a pleasant evening. Get home safe and have a great rest of your week. My name is Jungkook, and this last song is called…”
Before he can sing the first line of his song, you make a break for it.
You slam the restaurant doors open, and the stinging cold air immediately pierces their fangs into your skin. Your coat is still inside, but you can’t bring yourself to reenter. You take a long breath, the chill barely registering in your mind with how loudly your heart is pounding in your ears.
Hearing the opening to that song was enough to bring you back in time, three years ago:
You are in his childhood bedroom, his walls littered with concert posters and his floor a mess with unfolded laundry and guitar picks. The afternoon sun is streaming through his windows, bathing him in gold. You have an exam the next day and he has cram school to go to, but you’ve both chucked your books somewhere on his desk, left forgotten.
He has his eyes closed, concentrated. You’re both on his small twin bed, squished together side by side and thighs touching. You have your head on his shoulder and he has his hands on his guitar. He strums a few chords experimentally and sings a melody that only the two of you know.
(Not anymore.)
“Are you writing a new song?” you ask, voice a little scratchy. Neither of you had spoken for the past few hours, just basking in the setting sun and Jungkook’s indistinct strumming. But now, his chords sound more sure, more certain of something.
“Yeah, I just thought of it,” he hums. He opens his eyes a smidge, a smitten smile on his lips. You mirror him.
“What’s it about this time?”
His brows furrow. “I’ve been trying to write about other stuff, you know? Namjoon-hyung tells me it’s important that songs have meaning and impact.” He pauses in his strumming, looking a little conflicted. “And I get what he means. Art is all about saying something, but… I can’t help that there’s only one thing I ever want to talk about. Is that so wrong?”
You chuckle, understanding what he means. You nudge your head against his cheek, grinning from ear to ear. The fluttering in your chest has become routine to you at this point, but he somehow always knows how to increase it tenfold. “God, you’re such a sweet talker. Really, Koo. There’s no need to serenade with love songs—I’m already yours.”
He looks back at you, brimming with tender affection. “I know,” he responds. Then, he takes a pen from his bedside table, and begins writing.
During those years of dating him, you always thought that If he was a waterfall, then you were a teaspoon. You desperately tried to be enough for him, but you’re barely able to fathom the depth of his devotion. Everything about him was excessive, and you could seldom understand how he managed to contain himself. He was born to share himself, to tear bits of his soul so that the world may understand him, love him. His songs were a testament that he was trying to do that, and you always felt so lucky to be able to receive him, wholly and fully.
How cruel was it that Jungkook uses that same song to rip open the barely healed scab on your heart, leaving you bare and stinging and raw all over again.
You have no idea how long you've stood there in the cold. It must have been barely a few minutes when Jimin finds his way to you. He wordlessly shrugs his coat off and places it on your shoulders, but you make no move to acknowledge him.
You hope your silence is enough for Jimin to infer that you are not in a conversational mood, but he’s nothing if not impatient. He forcibly pulls you to face him, his hands warm even through your clothing.
“Hey, you good? Did something happen?” He asks with barely concealed irritation, but it’s not directed at you. Still, you flinch at his scathing tone, shrinking in on yourself. In your daze, you vaguely notice his resemblance to an angry baby chick.
“It’s nothing. Go back inside, I’ll be right there,” you mumble lamely, weakly pushing him back towards the restaurant. Jimin does not budge, instead leveling you with a hard stare. This time, you’re sure his irritation is for you.
“You idiot, you literally ran out like someone was out to get you. Of course it’s not nothing,” he grouses.
You sigh tiredly, shaking your head at him. “We can talk later. It’s almost closing time and I just want to go home and sleep.”
Before Jimin can argue further, the door to the restaurant opens once more, but it isn’t a leaving customer.
“What the fuck? What are you doing out here?” Jimin all but shouts at Jungkook. He holds up an accusatory finger at him and uses his other hand to nudge you behind him as if to shield you.
Jungkook winces, instinctively stepping back. Despite being a few inches taller than Jimin, Jungkook’s timidness makes him look smaller. “I… I was just worried about her—”
“Don’t you have a song to finish in there? Talk about professional,” Jimin spits out. Jimin maneuvers you so that Jungkook can’t see you, but you manage to catch sight of how his gaze follows you unfailingly.
“I finished up my set. It’s closing time.” Jungkook responds coolly. He’s still a little quiet, but you can sense some of his natural composure rising to the surface. When he needs to be, Jungkook has been known to stand his ground—usually when it comes to matters involving you.
At this time of the night and after hours of mental torture, the last thing you need is to watch your two worst nightmares duke it out in front of your work establishment. You are beyond exhausted, and you hardly have the fortitude to withstand another minute of their voices ringing in your ears.
Your eyes well up with tears of frustration, causing the two boys to freeze up in panic. You don’t give them the chance to fuss over you; instead, you haphazardly wipe your cheeks before roughly pushing them back towards the restaurant.
“Get back to work, you idiots.” Your voice sounds warbled even to your own ears, but you push past your overwhelming emotions in favor of getting back inside to close up. Hell, you might even call in sick tomorrow, just so you can cry pathetically into your bowl of cereal in solitude.
“I’m not even on the clock today!” Jimin complains faintly, but you only push him harder.
When you all reenter, you walk back to your desk and pointedly ignore the two of them until they awkwardly float away from your orbit. Despite the distance they give you, their gazes are still fixed plainly on you and they feel like knives digging into your back.
Eventually, all the final customers of the day take their leave, and your remaining coworkers start dimming the lights and bidding their goodbyes. From the corner of your eye, you see Jungkook bowing respectfully to the band, who were giving him friendly pats on the back for a job well done. Jimin walks toward you, his car keys dangling from his left pinky.
“No thanks. I’ll take the bus home today,” you declare before he can offer a ride. Jimin opens his mouth like a goldfish, flapping his lips dumbly as he stares at you in shock. You have no idea why he’s so surprised, given how you’ve been making it obvious that you need some space.
He looks like he wants to argue again, but thinks better of it. A singular moment of restraint from Park Jimin, which is an act you once thought impossible. Maybe he does care about you more than you thought.
He stiffly nods at you, shoving his hands and keys into his pockets. He still has a frown on his face when he tells you to text him when you get home. You flip him off with a shaky smirk in response, a feeble attempt to bring some levity back to your now tense relationship. It works a little, and Jimin brightens up significantly. How simple-minded of him.
With a flippant wave, you leave work and head towards your bus stop. At this hour of the night, the streets are mostly dim, save for some street lamps and bars that stay open longer than your restaurant. There are always some people milling about, enough that you never feel too on edge about how late it is. Still, your bus stop is often empty, leaving you to mull over your thoughts in peace.
You are in the midst of jamming your earbuds into your ear when a presence makes itself known beside you.
Is it possible to go through the five stages of grief in under a second? You suppose not, but it’s hard to tell what sort of emotions swim through you when you come face to face with Jeon Jungkook again.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you mutter under your breath. You pause the song playing on your phone to glare at him with as much venom as you can muster.
Jungkook holds up his hands in surrender, doe eyes wide like prey. “I-I’m heading home too! I’m not following you, I swear!”
You groan internally. Figures that you and Jungkook take the same bus home. But hold on— “Don’t you have a car? I remember you were parked near the restaurant the other night,” you note, squinting at him.
Jungkook looks sheepish as he rubs the back of his neck. “Oh, yeah. That car was my hyung’s. He lets me borrow it sometimes, but he needed it tonight.”
“Sure…” You level him with a skeptical frown. You remember his hyung, but don’t recall him ever owning a car. You aren’t even sure that his Namjoon-hyung is allowed by the country to drive a car, much less own one.
He could be lying, but you don’t want to give him an excuse to continue any conversation. So, you busy yourself with your phone and keep your head bowed away from him.
When the bus arrives, Jungkook makes it a point to sit a few rows behind you. Thankfully, he has a better understanding of social cues than a certain Park that you know. He leaves you alone, but your entire body still feels like a rope pulled taut. You have to convince yourself not to look behind you, your morbid curiosity scratching your insides raw.
You are in the home stretch now, and it’ll only be a few more minutes before you get to your stop and make your way to your safe haven. Hell resumes the next day and the next, but at the very least you’ll have your home to yourself. No one could take that away from you.
Again, this is where you learn that tempting fate is never a good idea.
When you exit the bus at your stop, you can hear his footsteps following you. It’s hard not to notice, especially when his large and distracting boots make such a distinct racket that makes him so Jungkook.
You hasten your pace towards your apartment complex, your shoulders hunched and hands shoved into your coat pockets in an attempt to hinder the bile rising from your stomach. He had promised that he wasn’t following you, but that proclamation seems to be standing on feeble legs with how long he’s been on your tail now.
Your street is filled with rows of low-rise apartment buildings, so you hope that if anything happens, you can yell as loud as you can and alert some compassionate neighbor to come to your aid. (Not that you think he would ever physically harm you, but… You can’t say the same about your mental state.)
Your home is just two buildings away from where you are, but Jungkook still seems determined to follow you to the end. You all but skip the remaining feet to your apartment entrance, your breath coming out in puffs as you finally muster up the courage to face your supposed stalker and give him a piece of your mind.
“If this is some convoluted way for you to find out where I live, then you aren’t being very subtle about it,” you say, your chin held up high despite the growing urge to vomit pathetically in front of your ex-boyfriend. You have your hand rested on the doorknob, just a moment’s notice away from bolting into your house if the need for a quick getaway arises.
To your surprise, Jungkook wasn’t following you as closely as you expected. He had stopped trailing you about two buildings down, his own hand poised on the door with a look of genuine shock.
You both stand there, staring at each other as mutual understanding dawns on the two of you.
Everyday, the universe learns of more creative ways to be cruel.
“Oh…” Jungkook’s voice falters. He looks simultaneously frightened and amazed, as if he too finds this entire situation unbelievably harsh. He swallows thickly, looking at you and back to his door in quick succession. “Well… This is a strange coincidence,” he murmurs.
You want to believe that this was his entire fault, that Jungkook had somehow managed to track you down to haunt you for the rest of your days. You want to believe that he’s a crazed stalker who is willing to find where you work and live so that every hour of your wretched life is filled with nothing but reminders of what-could-have-beens. You just want someone to blame instead of just the cosmos—you want someone tangible to hate so that your suffering can be given some sort of identity. You want to give your mourning and hurt a name so that you can learn how to heal.
You want to believe all of that, but it’s hard to do so when Jungkook looks so incredibly uncomfortable, as if he’d rather melt into the shadows and never be seen again.
In all your memories, you have never seen Jungkook look so small.
You heave a big sigh, your fingers grasping the door knob so tightly that you half-expect it to be dented from the force. You linger for a moment, your mouth opening but nothing spills out.
What is there to say? What do you say to an ex-boyfriend that you haven’t seen in two years, who is suddenly so deeply entwined in your life once more? Do you tell him goodnight? Tell him to stay away? Tell him to come home with you?
Jungkook looks equally as conflicted. His lips are pursed tight with words left unsaid. You aren’t sure whether you want to punch the confession out of his mouth or seal them up forever. It feels like eons before he finally breaks the silence with a mirthless laugh.
“I… I just wanted to say—back at the restaurant. When I sang that last song,” Jungkook begins, and his voice feels loud because of how empty the streets are. For a moment, you are reminded of a cathedral you once visited during a vacation, how sacred silence can be. The world holds its breath, waiting for him to speak.
“I meant it all. Every word. Every lyric. I never stopped…”
He trails off, shrugging his shoulders. He stares at you helplessly, but you don’t know what to say. You don’t want to listen any more, but your feet are planted to the ground. You’re frozen like a deer in headlights, forced to brace against him as he crashes into you.
He continues, “And when we broke up back then… I never wanted that to happen. You broke it off before we could even try something—and I hated how I didn’t fight for you harder. I let you misunderstand me because I was afraid you wouldn’t want to stick around if I didn’t succeed. I convinced myself that I was holding you down, but I never gave you—us—a chance. I never stopped regretting it since.”
“Me? Break up with you?” You echo incredulously. That statement is enough to break you from your trance, the telltale signs of indignation rising up your chest. “How dare you suggest—Me? You were the one who broke up with me, asshole! You were the one who broke my heart and decided to up and leave to god knows where! Only to miraculously respawn right next to me, groveling at my feet with sad love songs as if that’s enough for me to forgive and forget? Fucking entitled bastard,” you seethe.
Somehow, Jungkook manages to shrink more, like a bunny with his tail tucked between his legs. “Yes, you’re right that I broke your heart but… When I told you I was moving away to try and become a singer, it was always with the intention of staying together. I know it would have been difficult, but I wanted you to be with me through thick and thin. But when you misunderstood and took it as a break up, I let you go because, well… I was scared that it would happen eventually. Who wants to date a broke busking fool anyway?”
He laughs, but it sounds watery. He sniffles, and you hope it's only because of the cold. “I tried looking for you, but you blocked me everywhere and no one from back home seemed to know where you went. So I just accepted that we’d never see each other again… Until a few days ago, that is.”
A misunderstanding? Is that what everything boils down to? Years of trying to build yourself back up again, relearning what it means to be happy—all the fallen domino pieces in your life trailing back to a single moment in time? All because Jungkook was scared that you didn't love him enough?
You’ve never felt angrier in your life. You fear what you might say if you continue to stand outside there, face to face with the singular person strong enough to whittle you down to the bone. Jeon Jungkook is all soft smiles and sweet songs, but how come he’s always able to knock you off your axis? Few people on this earth can stitch you up and break you down in equal measure, but somehow, Jungkook manages to do all that and more.
Then, comes the guilt. Had it been all your fault? That you hadn't returned his love in equal measure? Had you secretly given up on the hope of being on his level? Always looking down on yourself: unable to move past your insecurities. Were you terrified of being his side piece, his girlfriend, forever?
Who are you, even? And where do you stand?
(Beside him, is what you want to answer. You don't know if that's the right choice.)
You can’t bear to look at him, least of all answer him. Without another word, you shove your house key into the door before slamming it shut despite the late hour. If you awaken any neighbors, you’ll apologize later. For now, all you require is sleep and hope that this has been all a terrible nightmare.
xxx
Reality is a bitter pill to swallow.
Jeon Jungkook continues to sing at the restaurant, and after only two days of repeat stellar performances, your manager decides to promote him as the official vocalist for the band. It hurts to admit that you're not the least bit surprised; you might have a hard time looking at him, but you can never deny his talent.
His song list has added a larger variety of genres ever since his first performance. That is to say, he isn’t always singing about lost loves and tragic couples every night. Perhaps it is due to some requests from customers or his other bandmates, but it doesn’t stop him from sprinkling one or two love songs into the mix.
He doesn’t sing any original songs ever again. That, at least, is a small mercy. He doesn’t make any moves to speak with you either, despite the daily awkward trips back home after the end of your shifts. Whether that’s because he’s given up on you (again), or he’s waiting for you to make the first move, you don’t know. Frankly, you don’t think you have the energy (nor courage) to do anything about it.
It’s a few weeks after Jungkook’s first performance at the restaurant, and closing time is approaching. You appreciate Friday nights the most because it means you’ll have two consecutive days to relax and avoid your problems. It’s also the busiest night of the week, when white-collar workers decide to drink and eat for as long as the night allows them. Busier nights mean more distractions, and you’re willing to deal with twenty Karens over one Jungkook.
During nights like these, your manager occasionally asks you to fulfill some waitress duties when there aren’t enough hands on deck. Normally you’d hate it, but earning the extra tips is enough to keep your grumbling to a minimum To this day, your landlord has yet to do anything about your broken shower, and you’ve finally conceded to the fact that you’ll have to be the one to do something about it.
As you inform the customers in your area that the last call for orders is approaching, you sneak a glance at the bar to see Jimin dutifully performing his job. That is to say, he’s flirting up a storm, getting women and men alike to blush from head to toe as he serves their drinks with a salacious smirk.
What a swindler, you think to yourself, snorting when he makes eye contact with you. He gives you a cheeky salute, mouthing something as he gestures to the back door.
Despite the semi-fight the two of you had all those weeks ago, Jimin was never one to argue about the same topic two days in a row. When you saw him the next day after your confrontation with Jungkook, Jimin was back to all smiles. You still catch him sending death glares towards Jungkook on most nights, but he doesn’t bring up the matter with you anymore. For that reason, you’ve gratefully settled back into your weird, banterful friendship with him. Even if there’s still a lingering tension between the two of you that you refuse to acknowledge.
You nod thankfully back at him, excited to go to his house and take a much needed shower. At this point, going to his house has become second nature to you, and it gives you an excuse to not see Jungkook at your regular bus stop every day. You have half a mind to never fix your shower for that reason, but of course there is still the problem of having to deal with Jimin every time you need to bathe. You hardly consider yourself an impatient person, but Jimin likes to toe the line far more often than necessary.
You’re down to your last two tables before you can close up shop when your manager suddenly barrels right into your path. You nearly drop your tray of dirty dishes to the floor, holding in a loud yelp as your suspiciously stern-faced manager halts you in place.
“Ms. Y/N, may I have a word with you for a moment? It’s regarding your paycheck for the month,” he barks, lips downturned. He appears disgruntled about something, and it sends a worried shiver down your spine. And here you thought Fridays are meant to be fun. He doesn’t wait for you to reply before he stalks back to his office, an unspoken command for you to follow.
You unload your dishes in the kitchen before making your way to his office. The small, dark room is cramped with overflowing file folders and coupons from multiple take-out places. You accidentally step on a stack of papers, and upon further inspection, seem to be a pile of applications for new hires. You distinctly remember complaining to him months prior about being understaffed and him replying that no inquiries were coming in.
As you approach, your manager shuffles through your coworkers pay stubs, and you notice yours and Jungkook’s on top of the piles.
Manager Jeong clears his throat. “Well, Y/N. It seems to be your lucky day. As you know, we split the tips based on your hours and what sort of duties you fulfill. With the new hire we have as our in-house singer, we’ve had to split it one way more to accommodate his arrival. However, he has recently requested to me that his portion be reallocated… to you, Ms. Y/N.”
Your jaw drops immediately. “I-I don’t understand, Manager Jeong,” you sputter.
Manager Jeong snorts, bemused by your reaction. “Don’t understand? Well, I suppose you’ll have to ask Mr. Jeon if you want his reasoning. Regardless, since we normally deposit your salary straight to your bank account, would it be alright if I hand you his tips in cash for now? He only informed me about his request an hour ago, and the accountant has already clocked out for the week.”
All you can do is nod dumbly back at him. With a huff, your manager presses a white envelope into your hands before promptly ushering you out of his office. “Well, that's settled. Out you go! Have a good weekend, Ms. Y/N. Don’t forget to lock the register before you leave!” He calls out before slamming his door in your face.
It takes you a moment to reanimate back to life. You stare at the white envelope for a long while, unable to fathom the scribbled out name of Jeon Jungkook replaced with your own name. Then, you crumple it into your fist before stomping over to where Jungkook and the rest of the band are in the middle of packing it up for the night.
Jungkook looks up from his guitar case when he senses you fast approaching. For a fleeting second, a smile graces his handsome face before it’s smacked away by your crumpled envelope.
“Keep your fucking cash, Jungkook. What the hell is your problem?” You fume, cheeks heating from agitation. Jungkook splutters for a moment, prying the envelope away from his face and looking at it in bewilderment. When he sees it clearly, recognition dawns on his face, followed by guilt.
“It’s just… my way of saying sorry, I guess.” He answers you meekly, neck flushing red in embarrassment. Behind him, the rest of the band grow silent at the scene before them, and you debate on telling them to mind their own business when they quicken their pace to leave.
“Well, keep your apology to yourself. There’s nothing to apologize for,” you correct him with a frown. To offer an apology is to offer accountability. You aren’t sure if you’re ready to hear him say that.
“No, it’s a sorry for… using you, I suppose.”
“Using me?” You repeat, dumbfounded. “For what?”
Jungkook smiles wryly back at you. “For inspiration?” he clarifies. For being the reason I can sing? He leaves that part unsaid, but you can almost imagine him saying it.
You feel heat rising to your cheeks again, but this time you aren’t quite sure if it’s from embarrassment, anger… or something else.
Unable to conjure up a response to his simple confession, you stomp away from him with a pounding heart and shaking hands. You continue the rest of your closing shift routine instinctually, your body moving on autopilot as Jungkook’s words continue to ring inside your head. When all is said and done, Jimin makes his way to your station with a questioning stare, but you wave him off in favor of stomping ahead of him to the parking lot.
In his car, Jimin rattles off about his latest exploits and purchases, his grating voice a comfort for once. You hum noncommittally during his stories when appropriate, but you suppose your usual indifference feels different, even to Jimin's untrained ears.
At his house, you drift to his bathroom immediately. You already have a shirt button undone by the time you get a handle on the door when Jimin’s hand stops you in place. You can feel his warmth emanating against your back as he slowly pulls the bathroom door close. With a tired sigh, you reluctantly turn to face him and find him standing closer than you expected.
He has an arm resting above your head, effectively caging you. You feel your shoulders sag. Damn, here comes another confrontation. Why can’t everyone just leave you alone?!
“Talk to me,” he says. No, he demands.
You push him away weakly, but he hardly budges. “Nothing to talk about,” you lie. Had you no filter, you’d be word vomiting all over the place ages ago.
Jimin groans, rolling his eyes in exasperation. “Enough with the emotional constipation. I’m here to listen, alright? No teasing or anything, I’m all ears and maybe a shoulder to cry on. Just don’t stain my Chanel top too bad,” he jokes.
You puff out a short breath—a sorry excuse for a laugh. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want to talk about it, and that’s that.”
“It’ll make you feel a lot better, though,” he offers.
You scoff. “What makes you think that? What if I just want to ignore all my problems forever and never grow from it? Is that so bad?”
Jimin pushes himself away from you, raising his hands in mock defeat. “You’re so fucking annoying. Can you stop running away from your problems and talk to me? Hell, talk to Jungkook for all I care! Just stop being a doormat and speak your mind for once in your damn life!”
“What are you, my therapist?” You brush past him, shower all but forgotten. You begin toeing your shoes back on, ready to head home tired and smelly. At the very least, you won’t have to deal with this stupid annoying asshole any longer.
Jimin strides back towards you, but for once he doesn’t do anything to forcibly stop you. Jimin has always been gruff with you, not afraid to push and pull you in any which direction. It’s part of the reason why you can’t take him seriously, even though you’ve recently realized why he was always being such a prick towards you—
“Yeah, I’m not your therapist. But for better or for worse, I’m your friend and I—I fucking care about you, alright? And it sucks seeing that good-for-nothing stick his nose in your business and act like he can do anything without any repercussions.”
Is Jimin being for real right now? “With how often you look at yourself in the mirror, you’d think you’d be better at introspection,” is all you say to that. You shove your feet into your shoes, not caring that you’ve probably put them on wrong. Maybe it’s because it’s Friday and the fatigue from the week has finally settled deep in your bones, but you can’t help but leave one last scathing remark to drive the final nail in the coffin.
“You know, if you were a little nicer to me, maybe I would talk to you. Hell, maybe I’d like you back. But no, just keep being your domineering, asshole self and I’ll keep being the same fucking doormat bitch you know and love,” you spit, turning towards the door and away from his face. You’re not even curious to see how he reacts. “I don’t need protection, alright? When I tell you to stay out of my business, you stay out of it. So don’t try and pretend to be my knight in shining armor.”
There’s an ocean of silence, enough to hear a pin drop. The urge to apologize surges to the surface, but you stamp it down. He’s petty all the time, so now it’s your turn.
Okay, maybe that’s a little too mean on your part, but you’re exhausted. Perhaps it is true when they say you should never act on your anger when it’s past midnight. But can anyone blame you? You’re only a girl, and girls need to snap too.
When he responds, his voice sounds weak. Park Jimin, weak? It's almost unthinkable. "Why don't you trust me?"
Isn't it obvious? you want to say. But some mercy remains within you. You'll pick up the pieces another time. Instead, you rasp out, “Good night, Park. I’ll see you on Monday.”
The walk of shame back to your house is long and arduous. Your phone dings thrice, likely signaling texts from Jimin, but you turn it off without checking for sure. For once, the weight on your shoulders is slightly lighter. You huff out a dry laugh, realizing belatedly that maybe Jimin is right—maybe speaking your mind has its benefits.
There’s a small park in your neighborhood that you always pass by. You don’t remember the last time you spared it a second glance, but this time you notice a lone figure swinging back and forth, arching dangerously higher than what you would consider safe. From a distance, all you can make out are the person’s comically bright boots, and you have a sinking suspicion you know who it is without seeing their face.
Cosmos, or whoever it is that controls my life, why must you braid our strings of fate so tightly? You ask, but as always, it refuses to reply.
Against your better judgment, your feet bring you closer towards him. He has his back towards you, his feet pumping him higher and higher and you half expect him to swing in a perfect arc like a gymnast on parallel bars. You have to keep your distance a bit, lest you get the wind knocked out of you by his signature stompers.
You clear your throat, and the boy stops mid-swing and nearly catapults himself into the spongey, playground floor. Hunched over and wheezing, Jungkook directs his shocked eyes at you with a comical stare.
You raise a hand in greeting. A peace offering, maybe. “Hello—”
“I swear I’m not stalking you!” Jungkook interrupts as he scrambles to his feet. He bows deeply in remorse, the action so endearingly him. “S-sorry, I’ll make my way home now…”
“I don’t own the park, Jungkook. I was just saying hello…” You snort, wringing your hands uncomfortably. You grind your shoes into the ground, the sound of crunching leaves breaking the still air. “A-and… to say sorry, for earlier.”
“Sorry?” Jungkook repeats, confused. When he realizes what you mean, he waves his hands frantically. “No, no! Don’t be sorry! It was my fault for being so inconsiderate. I understand how you might misconstrue my actions, and I made things more awkward. I’ll consider your feelings more in the future…”
In the future… You cough, unwilling to meet his bright and honest gaze. If you stare too long, you fear you might go blind.
“I come here to the park often, when I feel too cramped inside my apartment,” Jungkook explains, frantic energy radiating off him in waves. He’s gesticulating too much, a clear sign that he’s trying to hide his nerves. You remember how he would do the same thing in high school, whenever he had to present his projects in front of the class.
You hold a hand up, a weak attempt to get him to calm down. “I’m not here to interrogate you. I just wanted to…” What is it that you wanted to do?
The two of you just stand awkwardly like that, similar to a few weeks ago when you discovered you were neighbors. You’re grasping at straws in your head, both conflicted for wanting to tell him something and running away. Even if you were to talk to him, what would you say? There’s a reason you told Jimin you didn’t want to talk—frankly, it’s mostly because you have no idea what to say or feel.
But you do know, the universe responds.
I ask you questions all the time, and this is how you respond?
Either that, or you’re going insane, the universe remarks.
Jungkook pulls out his phone, his fingers fumbling as he unlocks it. He takes a furtive step towards you, but thinks better of it. There’s a few feet of distance between you, but it feels like worlds apart. Close and yet so far. You recall how you’d easily pull him towards you in the past, how being together felt as natural as breathing.
“I know you absolutely hated it the last time I played my original song at the restaurant, so I refrained from performing any ever since that night. But that didn’t stop me from writing them. I was fine with keeping them locked in a vault forever, but…” He hesitates, searching you for any signs of discomfort. When he sees the carefully blank look on your face, he continues with trepidation.
“Can I try a song for you? You don’t have to say yes, and you’re free to tell me to fuck off and I’ll never even look at you ever again. Just…” He flails one last time, a choked sob making its escape from his throat.
Are you hopeless for wanting to say yes? Or were you reverting back to your old self who relied on him and believed in him so heavily? If you wanted him out of your life for good, you would have quit your job at the first sight of him. Maybe you were masochistic. Or maybe were you hopeful for a new start, a chance to rekindle a relationship that you’ve secretly always wanted to repair.
You have so much life ahead of you. Many more mistakes will be made and maybe they’ll haunt you when you’re older. But would it really be such a terrible gamble to take one more chance?
You nod, and seal your fate.
He presses play, and the soft strumming of a guitar fills the empty playground air.
Not for the first time, you wonder how it can be so easy for Jungkook to be so… honest. He spills his heart in every song that he writes, and you know he’s never been a great liar. He can’t help it, being genuine is in his DNA. This crashing waterfall, this boy with overflowing emotions—he sings what he thinks but feels terrified because of it. You might not understand his honesty, but you know that fear. You know it all too well.
He beholds himself to you—raw and unfiltered. A little battered and bruised, but still Jungkook. Behind everything, still the boy you’ve been yearning for.
Maybe this song is what will give you enough confidence to admit everything to him, too. As you stand there, listening to his mellow voice sing confessions to no one but you and the stars, you think you grow a little more courageous that day.
Maybe you won’t be able to tell him tonight. Maybe not tomorrow, nor next week either. But as you gaze back at his hopeful eyes, you know deep in your heart that you’ll find the words you’ve been looking for.
“I’ll keep waiting for you, if you let me.” Jungkook’s voice floats gently to you, and settles in your open palms. This time, you don’t let go
xxx
Months later, Jungkook stops working at the restaurant when an offer from a major record company arrives in his mail. Apparently, a big shot from the local radio station had pitched him to an employee at that company and they were all pleasantly surprised to find a hidden gem at a random bar and restaurant.
In your apartment, you stare outside your window and to where his home is—well, where it was. You wonder if he finished packing his things, ready to make the big move tomorrow. You stand up with a stretch, sparing a glance at your still broken shower. It would be nice to have one more shower at his place… And after that? Maybe you should start looking for a nicer apartment; somewhere far away might be nice.
Your phone rings, and you see his contact photo light up your screen. With a smile, you answer.
“Come over, if you want. I won’t make you,” Jungkook assures you.
You laugh lightly, already halfway out the door.
#bts scenarios#jungkook scenarios#bts x reader#jungkook x reader#bts reader insert#bts fanfiction#bts imagines#bts fluff#bts angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jeon jungkook#jungkook#bangtan#bts#bts fanfic
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Coincidence
Female!reader x Eminem (Feel free to put in your own oc insert as well)
Description - 20 years after Y/n and Marshall break up, they run into each other again. Coincidence?
Warnings - Explicit language, smut, derogatory language (kind of), creampie?? (I'm not too sure)
“And cut!” The director called out.
Y/n let out a quick sigh of relief as the scene ended. Her assistant immediately came over to put a robe over her. She had just finished a sex scene for the movie she was working in called 8 mile. Y/n looked over at Marshall who she had just done the scene with and gave him a wink.
“Alright, lunch break everyone!” The director said as he got out of his seat.
Y/n and Marshall had a secret relationship that no one knew about. Since the recording of the movie, they grew closer together and eventually started to date. They agreed to keep it private, no one needed to know about it, especially the media.
Y/n went to her trailer to take a little break. She decided to eat her lunch there just to have a little quiet. She got her lunch out and took a bite out of her sandwich. Suddenly, she heard a knock on the door.
“Who is it?” She asked.
“Marshall.” The voice said.
Y/n smiled to herself softly. “Come in.”
Marshall unlocked the door and entered. He locked the door behind him and sat on the couch with Y/n.
“You alright?” He asked.
“Yeah. Just wanted some quiet.” Y/n replied.
“Oh. I can leave-”
“No, it's fine. I want you to stay.”
Marshall smiled before he kissed his teeth. “I was wondering if after tonight I can take you out somewhere?”
“That sounds nice. Where are we going?”
“Anywhere you want babe.”
“How about we head to my place? We can have a movie night, have some fun?”
“Yeah I like that.” He smirked before looking down at Y/n's robe. “You're not hot in that?”
“Are you tryna make me take it off?”
“Nah, I was just asking. But I wouldn't mind if you did.”
Y/n playfully flipped Marshall off before she took another bite of her sandwich. She fanned her face and took a deep breath out.
“Are you getting hot?” Marshall teased.
“No. Well, a bit. It's only warm.”
“Your face is heating up and you're sweaty, babe. You look like a shiny tomato.”
“Eugh, don't say that.”
Marshall chuckled. “Sorry babe. But you could just take it off-”
“I would but can you hold back?”
“Sure.”
“Pfft, yeah right.”
“I totally could. Why don't we put it to the test?”
“How dumb do you think I am?”
“Not that dumb, maybe a bit?” He lied, trying to get a reaction out of her.
Y/n gasped in a dramatic manner playfully as she put her hand to her chest. She took a spare script from the table nearby and smacked Marshall on the head with it.
“Hey!” He exclaimed. “What the hell is your problem?”
Y/n cackled and threw her head back. “You got what you deserved!”
“You are so-”
“Pretty? Smart? The most perfect girlfriend ever?” Y/n asked teasingly in a slightly more high pitched voice as she batted her eyelashes playfully.
“Annoying. You’re annoying.”
“Sure I am.”
Y/n turned on the fan nearby to the highest setting. She hated that she still felt hot with the strong wind blowing in her face.
“I’m just saying, you could take it off. I’m getting cold” Marshall said.
Y/n sighed and turned off the fan, accepting her defeat. She slowly undid the rope holding the robe together as it became free of its knot. Y/n ran her hands down the inner parts of the robe before slowly sliding it off. Her breath hitched as it fell off her shoulders, revealing the lacy, black lingerie she had on underneath. Marshall's eyes couldn't help but linger at the sight of her as his pupils wandered through every inch of her body, admiring her curves.
“See, it wasn't that hard.” Marshall said as he took a slice of cucumber out from Y/n’s lunchbox.
Y/n hummed in agreement before leaning against Marshall’s side and rubbing her cheek against his arm. He put his arm around and fiddled with her bra strap. They both looked at each other as Marshall slightly leaned in. His lips brushed against hers, ever so teasing her. He placed a small kiss on the corner of her lips before pulling away.
“Mm, babe.” Y/n whined.
“What?” Marshall asked.
“That wasn't a kiss.”
“No, I still kissed you.”
“Barely.”
Marshall chuckled and shook his head. “How can you say that I can't hold myself back when you're so needy?”
“It's different.”
“How so?”
“It just is. I just want my kiss.” Y/n whined.
Marshall hated how he secretly loved the way Y/n would whine for him. It made him crazy for her. He tried to not give in but completely lost it when she pouted.
He placed a soft and tender kiss on her lips, tasting her strawberry lip gloss against his tongue. They both pulled away and pressed their foreheads together. He traced his hand around the silhouette of Y/n's body, his fingertips grazing against her curves and soft skin. She shivered under his contact as she looked into his eyes.
Marshall leaned in for another kiss, this time, there was more passion behind it. He placed his hand behind Y/n's neck and pulled her closer into a bruising kiss, desperate for more.
She played with the hem of his shirt before slowly taking it off and throwing it on the floor. He snapped the elastic of Y/n's bra before his fingers travelled down to her back to undo it. He pulled it off and threw it away onto the floor.
He laid her down on the sofa as he started kissing down her jaw to her neck. His teeth grazed against her collarbone as he slowly sucked on it and moved his tongue along it. Marshall buried his face into her neck and kissed all over it whilst rubbing his half-hard dick against Y/n's thigh.
Y/n used her feet to help Marshall slide off his joggers, leaving him in his boxers only. His kisses moved from her neck down to her chest. He placed his hand on her neck and the other on her breast. His kisses were painfully slow and teasing, Y/n could feel Marshall smirking against her chest as she begged for him to fast.
He took the hand from her neck and placed it on the other breast. He massaged them carefully as he sucked Y/n's tits. She moaned at the feeling of Marshall's teeth grazing her nipple as his tongue sucked hard.
“Marshall, please. I need you.” Y/n whispered.
Marshall moved his lips away from her tits, the saliva making his lips glisten. Y/n put her legs around his waist and moved her hips up. Marshall took the open opportunity to play with the hem of her panties as he held her hip for stability. He leaned down and used his teeth to pull the underwear down and take it off. Y/n exhaled in anticipation as she felt her core heating up.
Marshall took his boxers off, letting his now fully hard cock springing free. He teased her as he rubbed his finger against the entrance of her heat, but not inserting it. Marshall groaned at how wet she was.
“So fucking wet. Just for me.”
With Y/n's last begging whine, he inserted himself into her. Marshall's dick moved smoothly against Y/n's soft and velvety walls. Her cunt immediately clenched around his dick.
“So fucking needy. But I love that. It's hot.”
He moved his hand back to Y/n's neck whilst the other one retreated to under her thigh. Within moments, he started to move his hips. The sounds of their skin slowly slapping against each other combined with their noises of pleasure and breathy moans bought a sultry tension in the air. The room became hot and stuffy as a thin coat of sweat covered their face, making their cheeks stained pink under the dim lighting. They could both feel the heat between them starting to rise as Marshall continued to roll his hips into her.
As he started to pick up the pace, each thrust rippled throughout Y/n's body to every nerve ending. Her eyes were met with Marshall's. His eyes were dark and filled with desire to the brim. Each roll igniting Y/n with excitement and a sultry tension. The creeks of the sofa meshed with their breathy moans and rhythmic beat of every thrust. Y/n could feel her core burning up with each powerful push. She could feel Marshall's hot breath gliding along her face as he panted to urge himself to go faster.
“Gosh, you're so fucking tight, Y/n.”
Marshall started thrusting himself into Y/n with more energy, fully hitting her cervix in a painful pleasure. The seductive tension burned into their bodies as their moans and groans became more ragged and quick. Y/n licked her lips, which had been stripped from the taste of strawberries but now salty from sweating. Y/n could feel her climax inching closer every second.
“Marshall, I'm gonna come.” She said, barley above a whisper.
“Me too baby. I'm so close.”
The final thrusts started to lack the energy from before as they became sloppier. The alluring atmosphere was still present within the room however. Y/n's core felt like a star, ready to burst any second. She came with a cry of pleasure as she felt a warmth of relief as his juices spilled out of her. With one final thrust into Y/n, Marshall came too. His essence came out in thick hot spurts as he released them into Y/n. It also began trailing down her thighs, making it glisten in the dim light. He collapsed on top of her, a crushing weight she didn't mind.
Y/n played with Marshall's hair and rubbed her hand up and down his back slowly. She smiled at the feeling of the low vibration from him humming into her neck. They stayed like that for a minute or two before getting up to get cleaned up.
“I just think that's what's best for us.” Marshall groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“So you're just gonna throw our relationship away because a couple pictures of us got leaked?” Y/n asked in distress.
“Not just a couple! Lots! Everyone knows about us!”
“Okay and? Why do we have to break up then?”
“Because this isn't good for my reputation.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Y/n could feel her eyes welling up with tears as an itchy sensation rose to the back of her throat. “You're worried about your reputation? How am I bad for your reputation?”
“It's going to ruin my public image. Those pictures don't go with my persona. We don't work!”
“That is the dumbest fucking excuse ever! We've been working for nearly a year!”
Y/n couldn't hold it in anymore. Bitter tears of frustration and sadness rolled down her cheeks. 10 months. They were having a strong relationship built on security and trust going on for 10 months, nearly a year— but now Marshall wanted to let go of it. Pictures of them taking a stroll in the park and kissing and hugging each other were taken by paparazzi and had gotten leaked. The next day, they were plastered all over the tabloids.
“I'm sorry. But this is what's best for us.” Marshall said in a softer tone now.
“Marshall, you need to understand that us being together isn't going to change anything. You'll still be you.” Y/n trembled.
He didn't respond. He just looked down miserably with a frown on his face as he crossed his arms sternly. Y/n could feel her heart shattering into a million pieces as she watched her boyfriend's stone cold expression. He couldn't even look her in the eyes.
“Fine. Have it your way. Have a great life Marshall.” Y/n whispered harshly as she walked out the door, bumping his shoulder.
Y/n stared at the platter of pastries organised under the clear glass. The warm yellow light from the heating made a wash of gold painted over the flaky and tasty treats. Y/n was staying at a hotel for a movie shoot and she decided to get a small snack in the middle of the night. She was stuck between the pain au chocolat and the croissant. Y/n wanted to be quick as she didn't look her best dressed in her sweatpants and an overly baggy shirt with a low ponytail to top it off.
“Hi there, how can I help?” The lady behind the counter asked.
“I'll just take one pain au chocolat and croissant to go please.” Y/n responded
“Of course.” The lady used the tongs to bag the golden pastries in a paper brown bag with the hotel's logo painted on it. “That will be $10.50.”
Y/n wasn't too shocked with the prices— it was an expensive hotel after all. But maybe she was a little baffled. Although she had a high net worth, she hated spending her money on unnecessary things. As reached for her card to pay, she hesitated.
“You know what, it's fine-” She began to say only to get cut off.
“I'll pay for her.” A male voice said from behind.
Y/n turned to see who this mystery man was. Her mouth fell slightly agape as her eyes met with Marshall's blue ones. She subtly pinched her hand to make sure she was dreaming— she wasn't.
“Marshall?” She asked, confusion lacing her voice.
Marshall. Marshall Mathers. The man she had dated for 10 months 20 years ago was standing in front of her. Y/n had seen recent pictures of him on social media, she did admit he looked hot, but when she was seeing him in person, he looked so much better. His overly bleached hair was now replaced with his natural brunette hair now. It definitely bought out his majestic blue eyes more.
“Y/n.” He responded, his voice barely above a whisper. He leaned over a place his card over the machine. When he heard the sound of approval and the green checkmark, he took the bag from the lady and handed it to Y/n.
“Do you wanna talk?” Marshall asked.
“Sure.” Y/n responded. She was glad her acting skills could help her mask the nervousness in her voice.
“Alright, let's head to my room.”
Every cell in her body screamed at her to say no and walk away. Her brain begged for her to turn down the offer and go back to her room. She could feel her heart thumping out of her chest, every beat telling her no.
“Sure, why not?”
She internally slapped herself for agreeing without a single thought. Y/n tried to stop herself, but she couldn’t. Her legs walked after Marshall's footsteps as they got in the lift and went up to his room.
She was quite shocked to see how clean it was. She remembered how his room and recording studio back at his mansion would be messy at times. Marshall offered Y/n a seat on the bed as she looked around, examining it. Y/n felt a dip in the bed as Marshall sat next to her, leaving some space between them.
“It’s been ages since we’ve last seen each other,” he said. “How have you been doing?”
“I’ve been doing good. Acting’s working well. I’m guessing you’re doing good too?” Y/n responded.
“Yeah, I’ve been doing great.”
“How’s Hailie and the kids?”
“They’re doing great. Hailie sometimes asks about you.”
Y/n smiled. Distant memories of her babysitting little Hailie when Marshall was out at concerts came to her mind. She remembered how Marshall only trusted Y/n with Hailie.
“I miss her. She’s growing up quickly, huh?”
“Yeah. So what you doing at this hotel?” Marshall asked.
“Just having a movie being shot nearby. You?”
“Had a concert last night. Feeling absolutely drained.”
Y/n chuckled slightly at his tone. “How’d you see me in the lobby?”
“I was just getting a drink then I saw you. Had to double check at first to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. Then I heard you saying that you didn’t want to get the pastries for $10, that’s when I knew it was you. You’re still the same, huh?”
“Yeah, well, I don’t want to spend $10 on that. And, uh, thanks for paying. You didn’t have to do that. Guess you haven’t changed either.”
Marshall chuckled, feeling quite glad that Y/n still had the same sense of humour. “So, have you been with anyone since we uh, broke up?” he asked.
“Had a few flings. Nothing too serious. Currently single as of now. You?” Y/n asked.
“Same here. I mean, I remarried Kim, but that didn’t work out.”
A long silence hung in the air, that brought a thick, awkward tension along with it too. So quiet that Y/n could hear her heartbeat speeding up rapidly. That awkward tension continued to grow, only for it to be warped into something else. She couldn’t feel awkwardness anymore, something else was lingering in the air that she couldn’t quite put her tongue on. Y/n could feel the air getting tighter as she felt herself slowly leaning forward.
When she realised Marshall was leaning forward too, she knew what was going to happen next. Y/n could feel her whole body begging for her to stop and pull away, to make an excuse and leave. But as the space between her and Marshall began to shrink, she knew it was too late to stop herself. There was no going back now.
Y/n’s lips met with Marshall’s, their collision making everything around her irrelevant, her only focus was him. The kiss was hungry and utterly desperate, something she didn’t know she needed. Her hand reached to the back of his head and pulled him closer, almost by instinct. Goosebumps rose on her arms as she felt his hands being placed on her hips with a sturdy grip. They pulled away and looked into each other’s eyes, Y/n wasn’t sure what she was looking for but she could see that darkening desire reaching Marshall’s eyes— the one she was so used to seeing. Y/n shuddered as his hand went to the back of her neck and slowly laid her down on the bed.
“Do you want this?” Marshall asked huskily, his voice making Y/n feeling a pulse of arousal travel through her body.
This time, every part of her body said yes. Begged for her to accept his offer. She needed this. “Yes. I need this.”
Marshall groaned at her response, feeling something stirring up within him. He placed soft kisses on her neck, taking in the scent of Y/n’s intoxicating perfume. His nose brushed against the pure softness on her skin, nothing had changed. Marshall’s kisses soon became bruising and rough as he left love bites scattered around her neck. It brought him back to their relationship, he whimpered at the thought.
His fingers immediately played with the hem of Y/n’s shirt as he pulled it over her and tossed it on the floor. Marshall stopped to gaze in awe at her body. She still looked perfect and absolutely ethereal. He licked his lips as his eyes landed on the dark red bra she was wearing topped off with some sexy lace. He bit his lower lip as his thumbs made small circles around her hips.
“Fuck Y/n. You're so hot.” He groaned.
Y/n pulled off Marshall's shirt and she immediately couldn't take her eyes off him. He was more toned than the last time she saw him and his muscles were larger now. He went back to kissing her, capturing her lips in a sultry manner as she whined for more.
“Still whiny too, huh? Guess some things never really change.” Marshall teased.
The next moment was a blur as clothes came off their body's and became discarded on the floor. Y/n shivered as her bare body came into contact with Marshall's. His skin felt familiar and comfortable as she wrapped his legs around his waist.
“All those flings you had. Did they all fuck you?” Marshall asked.
Y/n piqued in confusion at the random question. “Why are you asking me that?”
“I want an answer Y/n. Did they fuck you?” His tone was dominating like a spell that Y/n had easily fallen under. She could feel her submissive side of her coming out.
“Yes. They did.”
“Were their cocks bigger than mine?”
“No.” She was being truthful.
“Did they fuck you as good as me?”
“No.” Again, being truthful.
“Did they make you scream and cum like how I made you scream and cum? Did they fuck you so well and hard that you couldn't walk for ages?”
“No. Only you've done that.”
“Good. Thank you for telling the truth.”
Marshall cupped her core and received a whiny moan from her. She was already soaking, which made him give her a devious smirk.
“So fucking wet already.” He groaned. “Not surprised.”
“Marshall, please. You're taking too long.” Y/n begged.
She expected his thick cock to slide into her but instead he slid one of his fingers instead. Y/n could feel her breath hitch.
“You didn't really think I'd give you my cock straight away, right?”
Before she could react or even utter a word, he slid another finger into her soaking walls. She gasped loudly at the pleasurable surprise. Not even a second later, he added a third finger in making her arch her back and moan at the sensation. Immediately, her cunt clenched around his fingers. Embarrassment radiated off Y/n. She hated the way her body had betrayed her.
“Not even my cock in you and you're already getting tight around me. You fucking whore. You're just a needy slut.” Marshall spat.
If it was another man, Y/n would've pushed him off and spat in his face. But something about Marshall made it acceptable. Maybe it was the way his voice sounded throaty and gruff. Or maybe it was the way he looked right into her eyes with no shame. Either way, it made her even more turned on for him.
Without warning, his fingers started moving. It wasn't as good as his cock, but it was better than the other guys Y/n had been with. Her moans blended perfectly with the sound of his fingers moving inside her velvety walls at a standard pace.
Marshall pulled his fingers out that were glistening like a lustrous light. He placed his wet fingers on Y/n's lips and she didn't waste a second. She immediately started sucking on his fingers, catching a taste of her. She watched as Marshall groaned in pleasure watching her with his blue eyes, never taking them off her.
His free hand moved to Y/n's nipples, he twisted and pinched it, making her cry out Marshall's name. He slowly massaged her breath, matching the pace
“Marshall. I need you. I need you in me.” Y/n whispered as he took his fingers out her mouth.
“Anything for you.” He moaned.
He slipped his hard dick into Y/n's delicate walls. She gasped loudly and arched her back. It had been ages since she felt Marshall’s cock in her, and gosh, did she need it. He hadn't even started moving and she was already a moaning mess.
“Fuck, Marshall. Please move.” Y/n begged.
“I love it when you do that. Fuck, how can I say no to you, huh?”
He didn't waste a second as he began rolling his hips into Y/n at a steady pace. As the heat in her cunt started to rise, so did the temperature in the room. A fine layer of sweat glazed their skin, making it shine in the warm lighting. Y/n panted with each thrust, each push travelled through her body and sent a wave of content all over. Marshall’s dick glided smoothly against her cushiony walls. He could feel a rapid flow of lust taking over him with each roll. The vulnerability and submissiveness in Y/n’s eyes made him groan and quicken his pace. Something about seeing her underneath him and spread out all from him made him go wild.
As his speed started to increase, each thrust became striking with more energy and passion. The sounds of the skin slapping against each other started to rise against the sounds of their airy moans and gentle whimpers. The sexual tension between them started to grow. Marshall whispered sweet nothings into Y/n's ear, his gentle murmur tickling the fine fibres of hair on her ear. His thrusts increased to fiery speed, sending shared rolls of enjoyment between the two. A cloud of pure desire and lust rained over Marshall's head and caused him to produce absolute burning thrusts.
His momentum started to slow down as the energy began to leave his body. Each thrust was sloppy and slow. Y/n placed her hands on Marshall's hips firmly to help him move a bit more quicker. His dick hit her walls with a mounting pressure that felt so desirable and satisfying. Their climaxes were inching closer with each roll. Y/n's hands trailed down to Marshall's back as she dug her nails into it. The blazing commotion in her cunt rose, as her moans and pants became messy, waiting for the climax.
The last thrusts were quick and jagged, before they both came at the same time. A pleasurable warmth grew between their legs. Hot and thick gushes of Marshall's essence squirted into Y/n, making her squirm. He collapsed on top of her immediately. Y/n wrapped her arms around Marshall and embraced him. When he pulled out, he watched as his juices spilled out of Y/n's core. Marshall licked his lips and kissed Y/n's cheek— salty from sweat.
“You did great.” He praised Y/n.
She responded with a small hum of thanks before she got up and sat on the edge of the bed. “I'm gonna take a shower.”
“Want me to come with you?”
“I'm fine.”
Marshall nodded understandably. “Okay, I'll just change the sheets then.”
Y/n hopped into the shower. The hit water glided down her body as the steam it produced engulfed her. She closed her eyes and stood under the shower head, trying to process what had just happened. She'd seen her ex she hadn't seen in 20 years and had sex with him. Y/n exhaled slightly as she reached for the body wash to clean herself.
After she had showered and dried herself up, she picked up her clothes from the floor and put them back on. She couldn't wait to get to her room and immediately change it out for something that didn't stink.
“Where are you going?” Marshall asked as he finished fitting the clean duvet cover and bedsheet.
“To my room.” Y/n replied in a monotonous tone.
“Why not stay here?”
“I thought I was just a ‘fucking whore’ and a ‘needy slut’, right Marshall?”
“Hey, I didn't mean any of that. It was in the heat of the moment. Sit next to me. I wanna talk.” He patted the empty space next to him.
Y/n sat on the edge of the bed, next to him and waited eagerly for what he had to say.
“Y/n, I always think about that night we broke up. And every time I do, all I feel is regret. I always wonder what would’ve happened if we didn't break up.”
“I always wonder that too, Marshall.” She responded softly.
“This'll make me sound like the needy one but, fuck it. I miss you. I need you in my life.”
“Do you miss me or the sex?”
“I miss everything. I miss your smile, your laugh, your voice, your kindness, your love, your everything. You're the only girl I've ever truly loved.” He confessed.
Y/n could tell he was telling the truth, which made her heart flutter like multiple cocoons of butterflies opened up in her chest. She knew that deep down inside of her, she wanted Marshall back. Y/n cupped his face and smiled at him softly.
“Do you wanna start over again?” She asked.
“I do. But only if that's fine with you and I don't want you to feel forced into doing this.”
“I want to do this. I don't feel forced. I- I've missed you too.”
Marshall smiled at her before placing a gentle kiss on her lips. “Okay, you can get changed out of those clothes and wear some of mine. I'm gonna take a shower.”
As Marshall went to the bathroom to shower, Y/n took her clothes off and put them in the laundry basket for the dirty clothes. She looked through Marshall's wardrobe and settled on a baggy t-shirt and some shorts.
When he came out of the shower, he chuckled at how ridiculously cute Y/n looked.
“What? You told me to put on your clothes.” Y/n said.
“I know. It looks cute.”
They eventually got into bed as they wrapped their arms and legs around each other, putting themselves in an embrace full of love and warmth.
“Goodnight Marshall.”
“Goodnight Y/n.”
#eminem#eminem x reader#marshall mathers#marshall mathers x reader#slim shady#slim shady x reader#8 mile#b rabbit#b rabbit x reader#jimmy smith jr#jimmy smith jr x reader
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CHAPTER ONE: BUY-IN
pairings: paige x oc
contains: pining, angst
word count: 2,575
a/n: okay, one chapter in. let me know what you guys think, my inbox is open. also let me know what you might like to see, the outline isn't set in stone. school has started so it might be a bit before the next chapter, but it's coming. enjoy!
My palms sweat as I dial the familiar number, one I’d memorized by heart. It’d been far too long since I’d called her, and I don’t really have a reason, so the bullshit ‘I’ve been busy’ excuse will just have to do.
=======================
JUNE 2023
“Hello?”
I clear my throat in an attempt to swallow the lump that magically appeared. “H-Hey, Azzi, uh-it’s CJ.”
“Who?” My heart dropped to my shoes as my brain scrambled to pick up the pieces of one word.
“I-uh..”
Azzi chuckles. “I’m just messing with you. What’d you need?” I let out a breath as I rub my head.
“Oh my god, I actually hate you, holy shit.” I laugh.
“Apparently, since it’s been, what, like three months since we’ve talked.” I could practically hear the eye roll.
It’s really not fair for me to ignore Azzi because, really, she hadn’t done anything but be my best friend.
Our best friend.
And maybe that our was the problem. Maybe that combination, the unity of the word, and everything behind it was a mistake. Maybe, letting her etch herself into the scrolls of my heart, so much so that the ink bled together. Maybe the missed cue of when mine became hers, and hers became ours, was poor oversight.
Maybe letting Azzi become collateral damage was where me and her went wrong.
I laugh it off, ignoring the pang it sends to my chest.
“Yeah, well, I have to mentally prepare myself to lose brain cells. Can’t let it fuck up my game.” I respond, earning a laugh from the brown-haired girl. There’s nothing like the nostalgia a sound can bring you. The memories and feelings, all hidden behind a single noise.
After she gathers herself, she sighs. “So what’s up?”
And suddenly, I remember why I’d called.
“Yeah, uh, there’s something I kinda wanted to talk to you about, before you hear it somewhere else..” I say, picking at my earlobe nervously.
“Ooookay… Is everything okay..?” her voice relaying softer through the phone.
I nod. “Yeah, it’s nothing bad. Or, at least, I don’t think..” I fall silent for a moment. This couldn’t be as bad as I’m making it seem, right? Right?
“Either way, I’d just rather talk about it in person.”
Azzi hums. “Yeah, yeah, that’s fine. Where do you want to meet?” I consider my options. I’m only in Minnesota to visit my family for about a week, and it’d take another day to get to Virginia… I would be back in time to move into my dorm. It’s inconvenient but doable.
“I could drive up to you in like a week, I’ll just meet you at your house.” I mutter thoughtfully.
“Wait, are you in Texas or Minnesota?”
“I’m about an hour out from Minny.” I answer, slightly confused.
“Oh, I’m here with Paige and the boys. We’re actually headed to the fair soon. You could meet up with us if you wanted.”
“Shit…uh, I didn’t think about them...” I mumble.
That’s a lie. Truthfully, every time I think of home, memories of the blonde flood my mind instantly. But then I’m reminded of what she’d done. How she ripped herself out of my chest like velcro, instead of carefully detangling herself, ridding herself off all strings attached. All for someone else.
For someone who used to be mine.
“Hello..? You still there?”
I shake my head to clear my thoughts. “Yeah, yeah, sorry. Uh, th-yeah, that’s fine.” I sigh, quickly trying to recover.
Azzi sighs through the phone. “Look, I still don’t know what happened between you two, so if you don’t want to come-” she amends.
“No! No, okay, sorry. I- just gotta change my clothes…” I say, biting my lip as I lie through my teeth. “I’ll just meet you guys there?”
I could practically hear Azzi smile. “That sounds good, just call me when you get there.”
After we say our goodbyes, I hang up. I groan as I throw my head back.
I’m always up to a challenge, but the thought of going and having to function around her, after all she’s said and done; after she’s ruined us before there even was an us, that might be more difficult than I’d thought.
It’s not like I have a choice, though. I’m gonna have to learn how to be around her every day, especially when the season starts.
_________
“Drew, bro, if you spray me with that shit one more time, I swear to god, I will beat your ass.” I glared at him as he hid behind Jose, who put his hands up in surrender. I should not have bought him that water gun.
I rolled my eyes as I turned back to Azzi, who kept looking around, then back at her phone, repeating the process. I kicked her in her shin. “Ow! Paige, what the fuck?” Azzi complains, rubbing her leg. “Who are you looking for?” I say, glancing around.
She looks back down at her phone. “Nobody. Just people watching.” I scoff. “Bullshit, are we being spied on, or what?” She shakes her head, looking up around once more. “Okay, bro, what’s going on? Who’s ass do I have to beat?”
Azzi rolls her eyes at me. “You couldn’t beat Ohio, let alone anyone else.”
I sit back in shock, putting my hand on my heart as I feign offense. “Okay, their defense was so unexpected. You can’t even put that on me.” She shrugged, looking back at her phone and standing up. “Where-”
“Bathroom.” she mutters. I watch as she practically sprints away. If only she did that shit in practice. I shake my head.
I open my phone and begin mindlessly scrolling through instagram, ignoring the thousands of times I’ve been tagged in pictures that I’d taken with fans today. Suddenly, I freeze.
It’s a post by the official UConn women’s basketball team. It’s a picture of CJ in her Texas jersey, the number 43 on the front. Her hair is in her signature bun, hair slicked back carefully, as she drives towards the basket. The caption reads “Welcome CJ West!”
What the fuck?
I’m in such a state of shock that when Azzi comes back, I don’t notice the figure next to her. I glance up at her, then back at my phone. “Yo, Azzi, have you seen this?” I look up at her again, and this time, I let my eyes flick to the person next to her.
CJ.
Forgetting what I’d just seen, my jaw drops as I take her in. She’s just as beautiful, if not more, as she was the last time I’d seen her. She’s wearing a basic casual outfit; a plain white crop top, paired with blue jeans, and gold jewelry that always makes her hazel eyes seem brighter. Or maybe that’s just how they look naturally.
“Oh, shit.” I whisper, clearly in awe. She rolls her eyes.
Fuck.
“Hello to you, too, Paige.” Double fuck.
That fucking voice.
I clear my throat, trying to recover. “Hey, CJ.” I breathe. The lighthearted air is swallowed by suffocating tension as I make eye contact with a stranger.
“Oooookay…” Azzi says, clearing her throat. “This is about as awkward as I’d thought it’s be…” she mutters. CJ looks at her. “I told you.”
I look between them. “What’s going on?”
Azzi looked at CJ expectantly, gesturing to her to speak. CJ rolled her eyes and huffed. “I-uh, I have news.” CJ glanced between Azzi and I. She cleared her throat as she picked at her earlobe, a habit she’d picked up when she was younger. I’d always hold her hand to stop her, and I want to do that more than anything right now. I think I’ve lost that right, though.
“I’m transferring to UConn.”
My eyes flick to Azzi’s who’s jaw drops. “Really? How-Why?”
CJ shrugs, trying feign carelessness. “Better environment, Texas heat ain’ my thing.” To the normal eye, CJ’s behavior could be seen as normal. But to me? I see the way her eyelids flutter, the hesitation behind her pretty lips, and the way her eyebrows raise just slightly. She’s a good liar.
Just not good enough.
I don’t say anything, though, not when she gets dragged away by Drew and Jose, not when Drew practically begs her to stay and hang out with us, and certainly not when she’s sat in front of me on the ride Jon chooses. I don’t say anything when the boys get swept away, and it’s just the three of us, like it always used to be.
It’s only when Azzi goes to the bathroom, leaving us alone for the first time in years that I say anything. “Try not to kill each other, please.” She orders as she scurries to the restroom.
It’s silent for a moment, and I can almost see the relief on her face when she thinks I’ll hold my tongue.
Unfortunately, I’m nobody’s peace.
“How long are you here for?” I ask, stuffing my hands into my black cargo pants. She looks up at me. “Uh-just for the week, gotta move outta my dorm, and it’s a long drive, so.”
I raise my eyebrows. “You driving on your own?”
CJ nods. “Yeah, I’ll just sleep in my car or something.” I shake my head. “No fucking way, bro, you serious? That’s like a twenty hour drive.”
She crosses her arms. “So? That’s how I got here.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not goin’ on your own.” I say. Truthfully, I knew she’d be fine on her own, but something about her driving back to Texas, just to go back to Connecticut, doesn’t sit well with me. I’m only concerned for her safety. Or at least that’s what I decide to tell myself.
She scoffs. “What, you’re gonna come with me?”
“I could, if that’s what you want.”
“That’s the last thing I want.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“It’s not. Didn’t even wanna see you today.”
I turned to her. “Seriously, dude?” She looks at me. “Yes, seriously.”
I roll my eyes. I know I hurt her. I know I fucked up. But that was three years ago. We were kids. I was eighteen. I can legally drink now. It’s been three years. How can someone be upset for that long? “You gotta get over it one day.” I say before thinking about it.
I regret it when I see a flash of hurt on her face. “Get over it? That’s easy for you to say, Paige.” she spits out harshly.
Ouch.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I say, even though I know exactly what she meant. “Exactly what it sounds like. You get over shit quickly.” She shrugs. Her nonchalant tone pisses me off more than the words. I take a step towards her. “I didn’t ‘get over’ anything. There was nothing to ‘get over’. You were just jealous-”
“Jealous?” She interrupts incredulously. “Paige, you stuck your tongue down her throat!”
“And that pissed you off. Hence, jealousy.” I shrug.
“You were my best friend! It’s not fucking jealousy, it’s betrayal!” She practically yells, taking a step closer, our toes almost touching.
“I didn’t betray anybody! I was drunk! She was drunk! And I apologized afterward!” I say, trying to ignore the way her scent invades my senses.
She laughs dryly, taking a step back. “Right, you’re right. Yeah, an apology fixes it all.” I blink. “Really?”
CJ stares at me. “You’re a fucking idiot.” she says, and the only emotion I can pick up is anger. “I know.” I whisper.
Just then Azzi comes out of the bathroom, looking between us. “Everything okay?”
“Yep.” We say at the same time, and Azzi raises her eyebrows. “Aaaalrighty then… Can we find the boys, I’m ready to go.”
I nod and begin to walk behind Azzi, but I don’t miss the way CJ looks at me. I’m no expert, but if I know one thing, it’s the gaze of someone who’s been heartbroken.
I know because I’ve seen it. I’ve seen it every time I’ve looked in the mirror for the past three years.
__________
“There’s no way you’re driving to Texas by yourself.” Azzi gapes from the corner seat of the booth. Jose convinced Paige to drive us to some random diner. She’s so easy.
I roll my eyes as I take a sip of my sprite. “Bro, you sound like Paige.” I grumble.
“The fact that I’m agreeing with her should tell you how fucking stupid you sound.” she said. I look at her in shock as Paige throws her head back, cackling.
Fuck.
That stupid fucking laugh paired with that stupid fucking smile makes it so fucking hard to be mad at her. Maybe I should let it go. It has been three years…
No.
Instead of entertaining the thoughts, I opt for kicking her shin instead. “What do you think that says about you, dumbass.” She immediately shuts up, and I roll my eyes as Jon almost spits out his Dr. Pepper.
“I’ll have you know I was AP player of the year.” She defends, eyebrows furrowed. I raise my eyebrows unimpressed. “Still holding onto that, huh?”
Azzi laughs, and Paige shoots her a look. “Can we get back on task, please?” That seems to direct all the attention back to me. “Driving to Texas? All on your own?” Paige says.
“Yes. Did y’all forget how I got here? I didn’t fucking speedwalk.”
“Yeah, but you’re gonna go to Texas, spend, what, two full days staying up late and packing up three years of your life, and then driving the… twenty-nine, thirty, hour trip to Connecticut?” Azzi reasons.
I blink. “Well, when you put it like that..” I mutter.
Paige rolls her eyes. “Dude, just let us come with you. We can drive you there, so your car isn’t sitting in the middle of nowhere-”
“Isn’t your car in Storrs?”
“And we can switch drivers. Stay at a hotel halfway there, and then drive the rest of the way the day after.” She finishes, ignoring my comment. Before I can answer, the waiter comes with our food.
As he sets the plates down, I look at Paige, just taking her in. She’s wearing a plain black hoodie, with some red, white, and blue shorts on. It’s not much, but she could be wearing a trashbag and still be the hottest motherfucker around. It’s almost disgusting how effortlessly gorgeous she is.
I wouldn’t mind having someone to help me get to Connecticut. It’s a long drive, and it should be an easy yes. The truth is, when she looks like that, and acts like this, and talks the way she does… I don’t know how I’m going to get through the season, let alone a road trip.
I watch her lips as she says a thank you to the waiter, quickly averting my eyes when she looks at me. When the waiter leaves, I look back up and roll my eyes at her poor attempt to hide her smirk. As much as I wanted to wipe the smirk off her face, driving alone to Texas sounded dreadful. Plus, Paige has an okay music taste. Might not be that bad.
“Fine. You guys can come with me to Texas.”
Azzi smiles, clearly satisfied. Paige grins like a madman, clapping her hands. “This is going to be fun.”
I roll my eyes for the upteenth time tonight.
What the fuck did I just get myself into?
=======================
taglist: @wintersstan @bueckerrss @lilia22hicks @fake-intelligences @girlokwhatever @pbloverr @breeloveschris-deactivated20240 @cosmopretty @hellokittyfeenie @averagelobotomyenjoyer @elliewilliamsthang @chelisbae @angelscovee @st4rrzynight @cherryswisherz
#patsworks#paige buckers#paige#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers#paige x reader#paige buckets#paige bueckers fanfiction#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers fluff#paige bueckers head cannons#paige bueckers headcannons#paige bueckers x female oc#paige bueckers x oc#cj west#ace of hearts
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In our own world
Yandere!king OC x fem!reader
Summary: You're bored and Edmund decides to create his own little excluded world where you and him can spend some valuable quality time, just you and him.
Warnings: obsession, isolation, Edmund thinking that he is better than everyone else (power dynamics?)
Word count: 2.1k
Oh how bored you are. You've been sitting in the large window for what feels like an eternity by now. Maybe you could ask the maids to entertain you? No, that won't work. Edmund has said that none other than him are allowed to be with you unless he's said otherwise. Maybe … maybe you could ask Edmund to do something? Maybe he could let you … go out for a little?
You jump down from the window and leave the chamber. Wherever you walk in the halls, maids and butlers stop to bow at you and wish you a good day. At first, you found it soothing that someone acknowledged your presence, but now you find them creepy.
You reach Edmund’s office and are met by a guard standing outside.
"Can I speak to him?" you ask.
"He's busy, your majesty", the guard replies.
"Please?"
"You shouldn't disturb the king. He was very persistent on that no one should talk to him before he's done with his work."
"Oh … okay …"
"Can it wait?"
You force a smile. "Yes, it can."
"Very well."
In defeat, you turn around to leave. The guard walks into the office to check up on the king.
"Who were you talking to?" Edmund asks without looking up from his desk. "Fuck all of these papers make me insane!"
"It was the queen, your majesty", the guard answers.
Edmund snaps his head up, his heart skipping a beat. You've finally come to him?
"What did she want?" he asks quickly.
"She just wanted to speak with you", the guard answers. "Nothing more. She said that it could wait so I sent her away. I know how you said that you didn't want to be disturbed-"
"You fucking idiot! That rule implies for everyone but her. Go get her."
"... yes, your highness."
The guard runs out of the room, sensing that he's upset the king. Edmund sighs frustratedly, shaking his head.
He returns with you by his side just a minute later. Carefully, he walks out and shuts the door behind him. Edmund smiles fondly as he sees you. You're so pretty.
"I heard you wanted to talk to me", he says softly.
"It was nothing important", you say.
"Yes, it was. Come here."
He pats his lap. You walk over to him slowly and sit down on his thigh. Edmund smiles and wraps his arm around your waist securely.
"What did you want to say to me?" he smiles up at you.
"I was just bored", you say and shrug. "I was wondering if you wanted to do something but you're busy. I don’t want to disturb you."
Edmund sighs and looks over the papers drowning his desk. Why does he have to be a king?
"I am", he mumbles regretfully. "I'd love to spend time with you, my jewel, but if I don't complete this before tonight the Supreme Court will grill my ass."
"It's okay … I'll entertain myself. I'm good at it."
Edmund bites his lip, thinking.
"If I hurry up, will you wait for me?" he asks and squeezes your waist carefully. "We can do something together later. Why don’t you come up with something fun to do in the meantime?"
“I want to go out”, you say. “For a little while.”
Edmund grabs your cheeks in his hand and smiles cheekily.
“You are not allowed outside, dearest”, he says with his eyebrows raised in that condescending tone you hate — sounds like he’s talking to a child. “You’re far too precious to be spoiled by the outside world.”
You sigh and fight back the urge to slap him.
“Go wait in the bedroom and I’ll come get you when I’m done”, he says, giving you a sweet push towards the doors. “If any of the guards give you any problem, you come back and tell me.”
You nod. Edmund smile drops once you leave. He can’t believe how his own guard turned you away. You must have felt so shocked and humiliated. Edmund’s heart breaks at the thought. He clenches his jaw. If you want to go outside, then you shall.
You must have fallen asleep because when you open your eyes, Edmund’s kneels down in front of the bed, caressing your hair.
“Y/N, my queen, why don’t you come with me?” he smiles.
“Are you done now?” you ask and yawn.
“Yes, I am. And I have something for you. Won’t you come with me?”
You get up from bed and follow him out of the room. He leads you through magnificent corridors, out to the backyard. You stop at the sight. A set table with flowers, pastries and tea. It’s taken directly out of a fairytale.
“Do you like it?” he asks.
He looks genuinely excited. Edmund loves to do these kinds of stuff. He’s never had anyone to surprise or impress before, but now that he has … it has become something he enjoys.
“I love it”, you answer, still in shock. “Why did you suddenly change your mind?”
“I mean … this isn’t the outside world”, Edmund shrugs. “So I thought that is wouldn’t be too bad. This is our own little world. You can still see the sun, but you’re not tainted by the townsfolk. I guess I can let you be here. But only when I am too.”
You look around, seeing the high brick wall that keeps you locked in. You can tell guards are watching every corner. Edmund takes you to the table and holds out a chair for you. You sit down and start to search the table for what you should start with.
“I’ve told the maids to stay away”, he says and lifts the teapot. “I want to do everything myself.”
You want to crack a joke about how he’s never touched his own utensils before, but you keep it in. It’s probably not a good timing. He seems to be in a good mood for once, you shouldn’t destroy it. He pours you some tea and holds out the cookie tray for you.
“Eat as much as you like, my jewel”, Edmund says. “We have enough to feed the entire village here. Not that they will get any. Why would anyone unimportant deserve this kind of food? Pathetic. These kinds of meals are reserved for the important people.”
Pleasant as always.
“Thank you for bringing me out here …”, you say hesitantly after a while of awkward silence. “I’ve missed being outside.”
“You’re welcome”, Edmund smiles with a smile. “If you’re happy, then I am too.” He breathes out and looks around. “Such a shame I’m always busy or we could spend all of our time together … just like this.”
You don’t answer. You’re not sure what you think about the idea. It’s not like you wanted to go to him for company. You had no other choice. He kills everyone you want to talk to.
“Do you feel lonely without me?” he asks while keeping his eyes on the spoon he slowly moves around in his teacup.
“I feel lonely, but I’m not sure it has so much to do with you … just overall”, you answer hesitantly. “It’s a big castle with lots of people I don’t know … everything is frightening and big …”
“It’s not dangerous for you. Only at night. But you’re safe if you stay in the parts assigned to you. You know better than to wander around.”
Oh, you know.
Suddenly, you hear a melody coming from afar. You look up, trying to find where the music is originating from. Edmund does the same and then breaks out into a small smile.
"Right, there were some things in the village today", he says, shaking his head slightly. "I should have told them to cut it out."
"What are they doing?" you ask.
"Partying. Something they don't have time for now that it’s harvest time."
He's about to stand up and tell a guard to get rid of the sound, but your hand shoots out, placing over his before you can think. He looks down at you, shock written all over his face.
"Please let them be", you beg. "They should get a break from their jobs and have some fun. They're humans. Besides … I kind of like the melody."
Edmund sighs heavily and nods. Remorsefully, he sits back down and looks at you with love growing in his eyes.
"You're wonderful, do you know that?" he asks. "I made a good choice in marrying you."
Your heart sinks whenever he talks like that. As if everything is a business deal to secure the heritage of the throne. Edmund has a tendency to be selfish and inhuman, how does he really care for you? Does he see you as another package deal to secure the future? Is he treating you differently because he should? Since you’re the queen?
"Can I ask you a question?" you ask hesitantly.
"Go ahead", he answers calmly.
"Did you marry me because you needed a queen or … because you actually wanted to?"
You can see him physically twitching. He furrows his dark brows and looks at you questionably.
"What are you saying?" he asks in confusion. “Are you serious?”
You nod. Your throat has gone dry. That voice. Oh, how you hate to confront him. He can never take anything in any way other than an attack.
“Do you think I wanted to be married at this age?” Edmund asks with a raised eyebrow. “That wasn’t my priority, Y/N. With that said, you’re definitely not just something I ticked off the bucket list. Don’t … don’t I show you enough love?”
You shrug fearfully. After every horrific thing he’s done to the people around you — including you — there’s nothing that actually shows if he loves you or only sees you as a pet. Edmund gulps and pulls his chair back quick enough for you to shudder. He stands up and walks over to your chair … holding out his hand. You stare at it blankly.
“Would … would you like to dance?” he asks
"Huh?" you ask, wondering if you could have heard wrongly.
"Dance with me."
You get pulled up on your feet by a strong force and almost crash into him. He squeezes your waist and positions the two of you for a dance. The music from the village is enough for him to find a rhythm and bring you into a trance. You can feel the guards glancing at you.
“Don’t look at them”, Edmund whispers warningly. “Look at me instead.”
You turn your eyes to him and he smiles. His smile makes him look like his actual age and it makes you relax slightly. After all, he’s just a young man without guidance. You shake your head. No. Don't think like that, don't give him excuses.
"There you go", he says approvingly. "Keep your eyes on me. There's only you and me in this world — in our own world — no one else."
He twirls you around before gaining another tight grip on you. You're sure that you'll get bruises on your hips by the end of the dance. You let him take the lead, not knowing where you’ll end up, but you know better than to question any of Edmund’s decisions.
“The guards, they’re looking at you”, he says without taking his icy blue eyes off of yours. “Gawking even. Wishing that they had what’s mine. Pretty pathetic, don’t you think? To be jealous of me? As if they could ever be on my level.”
“I’m not on your level either, Edmund”, you remind him quietly, hoping to make him realize how stupid he sounds. “Would you talk about me like that too?”
He looks dumbfounded.
“You must have hit your head or something with all the absurd questions you’re asking today”, he mutters and rolls his eyes. “No one is on my level — of course — but you’re far, far better than any of the other people in this kingdom. Don’t try to insult yourself by saying that you’re like them ever again, Y/N. I don’t like that.”
He dances round and round, holding you as close as he possibly can against his chest. You’re practically molded against his body.
“I’m so fucking obsessed with you, Y/N”, Edmund whispers in your ear. “You make me crazy. I can never let you go. You’re so perfect.”
His arms tighten around you and you start to wonder if he’s going to break your corset. In this world of your own, he will make sure that it is only you and him. Only you and him … in your own little shielded, exluded world.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere drabbles#yandere oc x you#yandere fics#yandere stories#yandere oc x reader#king yandere#female reader
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IN CASE OF EMERGENCY✩༶‧˚
GENRE + T/W: sfw, fluff. WORD COUNT: 1.3k words. TAGS: adoptedkiddo!megumi x fem guardian!oc, nothing innappropriate.
SYNOPSIS: oc gojo girlfriend has always been megumi's emergency phone call. AUTHOR'S NOTE: taken and inspired by the manga chapter where the kiddos spill coffee on satoru's shirt. please let me know if my tag makes sense for megumi and reader, i don't want people thinking this is is an inappropriate relationship! REMINDER: if you want to imagine yourself in oc gojo girlfriend's character descriptions instead, please do!
“we are so dead”, megumi thought to himself as he stared at the coffee that was spilled on the white dress shirt in front of him. ijichi had left gojo-sensei’s brand new and freshly dry cleaned button-up shirt with them for a moment and nobara just had to spill coffee all over it.
“you’ve done it now, kugisaki.” megumi chastised her.
“this is gojo-sensei’s, right?” nobara asked her two partners, “okay, who’s really at fault here? ijichi, who entrusted us children to keep a freshly dry cleaned shirt safe… or me, who spilled a little tinsy winsy bit of coffee?”
yuji and megumi shouted in unison, “you are at fault!”
the students started to panic while trying to dab at the stain with napkins. “you gotta dab it like this… this is how my grandpa taught me to treat stains.” yuji told megumi and nobara. his tongue was sticking out, eyes concentrated while dabbing at the shirt. megumi looked defeated. it was like he was working with tweedle dee and tweedle dum.
yuji picked up the shirt and laid it out on the table. the coffee stains almost looked like a design. maybe they would be able to get away with it. gojo-sensei wore some interesting things, he wouldn’t question it.
“it could pass for marimekko.” yuji said. nobara agreed while looking at the shirt, “if you look at it in this light and angle…”
“that’s so insulting to the fashion industry.” megumi stated. he was raised by the satoru gojo and (y/n) (l/n), so he was aware of the fashion trends due to both of his guardians having a shopping problem.
“why don’t we just get him a new shirt? i bet it’s replaceable!” nobara suggested to the two, “fushiguro, look up how much this shirt costs!”
megumi took out his phone and started googling. his eyes widened in shock, gulping as he realized it was a prada shirt, “uh, guys… this shirt is $1800…” he showed yuji and nobara his phone. they looked at the price with disgust and despair.
yuji, asking in fear, “is that before or after tax?”
“does it matter?! we don’t have that kind of money! we’re high schoolers!” megumi shouted at them. he could feel the anger boiling in him.
“well, i’ll put in $900 since i was the one that spilled the coffee and you guys put in $450 each, does that sound good?” nobara suggested as she did the math begrudgingly. she definitely did not want to spend her play money on replacing her rich sensei's shirt.
the kids heard the dining hall screen slide open, eyes full of terror. megumi shoved gojo-sensei’s shirt into his jujutsu high uniform as he greeted his students, “mornin’! ijichi should’ve left you guys with something for me… uh, megumi, you good?”
“oh yeah,” he said with a nervous chuckle, “ijichi said he was going to give it to (y/n) instead!”
the way megumi stuffed the shirt into his uniform made it look like he had boobs. nobara and yuji held in their laughs behind their hands, megumi’s lie was the nail in the coffin for them. he wanted to punch both of them in their faces, he was so annoyed. he stormed out of the room and retreated to a hidden faculty closet to make an emergency phone call.
“so, to what do i owe the pleasure of my adopted son calling me?” you teased megumi. he would've just gone to your office if today wasn't your day off.
“i need a favor…” he mumbled.
“what happened, kiddo? are you in trouble?” you asked him with all teasing aside, concern in your tone.
“not exactly. nobara spilled coffee on one of gojo-sensei’s expensive shirts. can you help me get it dry cleaned before he finds out?” he explained the story to you. mama-(y/n) instincts picked up right away.
“bring it home, i’ll take a look at it. satoru doesn’t come home until 6:30 today.”
you had a very soft spot for megumi and tsumiki. if they needed anything, you were there for them in a heartbeat. realistically, you knew that satoru wouldn’t be upset about his shirt since he could just buy a new one anyway, but it was cute to see megumi all worked up about it. you chuckled to yourself in the kitchen as megumi hung up the phone. he'd be home in a flash.
later that day: the gojo/(l/n) household
“(y/n)-sensei, i’m home!” megumi called out to you from the foyer as he took off his shoes and grabbed his slippers.
the familiar scent of the apartment he grew up in brought him back to his childhood, it was nostalgic for him. it was a mix of your nectarine and honey blossom perfume and gojo-sensei’s spicy and woodsy cologne.
he reminisced about when you and gojo-sensei first got this apartment. he would watch tv with tsumiki after school while you and gojo-sensei hung out in the kitchen making dinner. mainly gojo-sensei would watch and bother you, but to megumi's surprise, both of you were decent cooks at 18. he missed when you would read bedtime stories to him and tsumiki, he liked to think you were the reason why he loved reading so much.
he walked over to the wall next to the bathroom where gojo-sensei measured his and tsumiki’s height every month until he turned 12. a soft smile formed on his face when he thought about how his sensei would include his spikey dark blue hair into his height to make him feel better about not being 6'3" like him. oh what he would do to be 12 again...
after living in the dorms for a year now and only coming home on the weekends, he sure missed you and the blindfolded idiot. he would never admit it, but he actually liked living with you two. he was grateful to have guardians like you and satoru.
“welcome home, kiddo. we missed ya'. and what did i say about not calling me sensei? it makes me sound old.” you smiled and hugged him tightly.
he grumbled as you ruffled his hair, “ugh. you just saw me yesterday...” megumi shook his head and fixed a couple pieces of his hair that your slender fingers displaced. he hated when you and gojo-sensei would do that, but he always let it slide because well… it was you and gojo. and believe it or not, he had a soft spot deep down for you two.
“where’s the shirt?” you asked as megumi took out the soiled shirt from his backpack.
“yikes, not the prada shirt…” you tried to hold back a laugh.
“can it be saved?” he asked eagerly.
“i don’t know, megumi. you might have to do chores for a whole year to pay this one off.” you joked with him.
you sighed, there was definitely no fixing this. you retreated to your bedroom to find your purse, megumi curiously wondering what you were doing. you rummaged through your purse to find your wallet, taking out your black credit card and handing it to megumi. megumi eyes widened, he knew what the black cards meant, he grew up with you and gojo-sensei after all.
“take my card. go buy a new one exactly like this. he’ll never know.” you whispered to him.
“are you sure? this is expensive. nobara suggested we all pitch in to buy a new shir—”
you hit megumi upside the head with a spray of water from your cursed technique, “go now. the idiot comes home soon!” you grabbed his arm and dragged him from the kitchen table to the foyer.
he smiled at you and turned to open the door, but before he left, he stopped.
“(y/n)?” he said quietly.
“yes, megumi?” you watched him as he looked over at you.
his hand left the doorknob as he ran to hug you quickly, “you’re the best.”
his embrace surprised you. you wrapped your arms around your adopted teenaged son and laughed. everyone knew megumi loved you more than he loved satoru. there was only one person that he would call in case of emergency, and it was you.
BASED ON THE MANGA FILLER:
© 2023 ASDFGHJKLMALS — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORK.
DIVIDERS PROVIDED BY @/ANLIAN-AISHANG
#megumi loves his guardians <3#jjk x oc#jjk fluff#megumi fushiguro x oc#megumi fushiguro fluff#megumi fushiguro x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fluff#megumi fushiguro fanfic#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jjk x reader#jjk x you#yuji itadori#nobara kugisaki#satoru gojo#jjk imagine#jjk imagines
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Does someone older JK spoil the OC sometimes? Like surprise her with something which he considerd to be nothing it would mean so much to her?
Oh he does, ALL the time! Warnings for a bit of angst, beginnings of a panic attack but Kook handles it well
"...we can go there again, maybe before new year's if I can get a table on short notice." He simply says as he drives you both back to his place, radio playing quietly in the background.
You're still a little overwhelmed.
He does things like this a lot- expensive dinner dates in restaurants he either knows or wants to try out, randomly buying you clothes or jewelry he finds online and deems pretty, or he just changes things in his house to adjust it more towards you and your preferences. Like the pillows in his bedroom, the by now multiple pairs of thick socks for your cold feet, or the baking supplies he bought for you now stacking up in his kitchen.
It's things like that you're not used to. In the past, it has always been you who needed to adjust and do things for your partner- not the other way around. So now, you feel almost guilty whenever he does something- like a bank account draining, slowly going further and further into the negatives, red numbers piling up and making you anxious as to when he'll want it all payed back.
"Did you not like it?" He wonders, taking your silence as a sign of discomfort as he pulls up on the expressway. "You don't have to lie." He chuckles, reaching out to hold your hand.
"No, it's not that." You deny, letting him warm up your cold fingers. "It's just.. it was a little expensive, no?" You wonder, and he shrugs.
"Was it? To be honest, I don't think it was considering what we ate." He just brushes off. "I've been to steak restaurants that were a lot more expensive and half the quality. And the service was great too, so I didn't mind." Jungkook explains, and it's now that you realize once again that you and him live in quite different worlds. Or at least, used to.
For him, money isn't an issue. He's made and is making enough of it to live comfortably, he doesn't have to really worry about running out of it anytime soon, even if his company was to go bankrupt next week. And he's also got enough saved up, has invested with good tactics in mind, so it's really no wonder he doesn't see a problem in spending the amount that he does.
But you aren't used to that. You have been living paycheck to paycheck with barely anything left over at the end of the month, needing your bonus desperately as to not fall behind on any payments you have to make regularly. You've lost your apartment before, had to sleep at friend's places to get by, and even ate only at the company cafeteria to save money usually spent on groceries. All of this feels almost excessive, and you also worry.
What if Jungkook starts spending too much on you? He shouldn't fall into a habit of mindlessly throwing money out.
"What's on your mind, darling?" He wonders, lifting your hand to kiss the back of it, before he changes lanes.
"I just.." you fidget a little. Jungkook isn't a bad guy. He won't get mad. He won't scold you. You won't have to endure being lectured for the rest of the ride- you know all this, and yet again, the past haunts you and makes your breathing pick up as you begin to chew on your lip.
Suddenly, you realize he's pulling up to a gas station, parking on the side. He gets out to get something from the backseat, before he walks around the car to open the passenger door where you sit, unbuckling your seatbelt. "Here." he offers the bottle of water, having opened the cap for you. "Put your legs out like that- there we go. Breathe baby." He gently tells you, squatting down a bit to make himself look smaller. "Take your time."
You feel embarrassed. How do you explain to him that you were feeling like a kid about to confess a bad grade just now?
"We can keep it a one-in-a-month thing, maybe, if that makes you more comfortable." He proposes. "I didn't take into account that it might be overwhelming to you- I'm sorry." He apologizes, but you shake your head, looking down at your knees.
"I just.." You mumble, unsure how to really explain. "I feel.. back then, you know.." You sigh, having trouble finding the proper words. "Talking in the car makes me.. anxious." You admit. "Because you know, when you get mad.. I can't escape.." You say. "I can't get away from it."
Jungkook kindly takes the bottle away from you to put it on the backseat again, before he's back in front of you.
"Thanks for telling me. I had an idea it might be that, but I wasn't sure." Jungkook says, hands on your knees. "I promise you I'm not mad. And I'm in no position to be mad at you for having opinions or personal taste that might differs from mine. We're two different people-" He chuckles. "-of course we'll have different views on things."
"But I really liked the dinner too." You say. "I just.. I don't want you to start.. spending so much money on me to the point of, I don't know, losing sight of it." You confess. "And maybe, we should keep stuff like this a bit rare? So it doesn't become routine. I want to keep it special.." You say. "I'm not.. I don't really know much about this stuff, because I never had enough money to go to these fancy places, and get designer clothes, or plan vacations in different countries and all that. I feel.. stupid sometimes?" You spill, making him lean his head a bit to the side. "Like, what if you one day take me to a company gathering or something, and someone asks me something and I can't answer or I say something dumb-" You rant. "-or maybe you won't ever take me because I'm too young? Maybe Eve is right and I'm not really the kind of-"
"Baby, darling, stop-" He chuckles, pushing your shoulders back a bit to look at him. "-take a good breath. You're panicking." He worries a little, but tries hard to stay composed as to not make you spiral any further. "Eve is wrong. If you're okay with this, of course I'll take you to company events. Why wouldn't I show off such a beautiful women at my side? I'd never pass up a chance to make those stuck up geezers jealous." He jokes, making your crack up a little. "Let's keep the dinners to special occasions. Keep it special, like you said." He offers, holding your hands now. "And I'm also.. the fact that you worry about me makes me feel.. very special." he chuckles. "I appreciate you looking out for me."
"I always look out for you.." You mumble. "..I just don't want to overstep any lines. You know. Since you're older than me-"
"Just because I'm older doesn't automatically mean that I know everything better." He reassures you. "Our age gap has nothing to do with any sort of power balance. Please don't think you can't speak your mind just because I was born earlier than you."
"..okay." You nod, and he leans forward to peck your lips, before he closes the door for you after you pull your legs back in and buckle your seatbelt, him getting back into the driver's seat to do the same.
"You know.." he starts, as he pulls out of the gas station to continue the drive back home. "..I'm really falling in love with you." He chuckles, dimples of his cheeks showing with how hard he smiles.
"Huh?" You wonder, taken aback by the sudden confession.
"I mean it." He nods. "I really am."
"I'm glad then." You admit. "..cause I am too." You admit, making him grin before he reaches over to hold your hand again.
Knowing that he really won't ever let you go again.
#bts imagine#bts fanfic#bts fic#jungkook imagine#jeon jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook imagine#bts jungkook imagine#bts jungkook fanfic#bts jungkook x reader#jungkook x reader#jeon jungkook fanfic
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hello1! 1! 1 id like to ask for a yandere glisten x reader if ur comfy w it :3 u can also add headcanons if u like! (Can u also make reader a magical girl toon? Its just that my dw oc is one and I just like to mention my oc x canons here haha) (つω`*)
● Perfect.
Yandere!Glisten x fem!reader
Warnings: yandere, kidnapping, forced affection(?), tied up reader, maybe ooc glisten(?) maybe spelling mistakes, idk.
Notes: hai! Sorry it took me a bit to make your request i barely have any inspiration which is also why its so short and crappy. On that same note I wasn't sure how to put reader being a magical girl into this so I just made reader female, sorry I hope you still enjoy tho!
Oh you were so perfect for him weren't you?
Like two puzzles pieces, you and him were made for each other. He needed you, and you needed him. Or well so he thought. But it didn't matter what you thought, after all your the one who's tied up.
Glisten thought as he studied you in your bound state. "You understand why I had to do this right?" He said as he fiddled with the light pink ribbon he had tied you with. It was the same he wore, you looked perfect with it. You looked perfect with.. him.
Your muffled cries were ignored as he caressed your face with a loving look on his face. "You just kept giving others your attention, it's was so annoying. Your eyes belong to me, why would you wanna stare at anyone else??" He said looking at you with an annoyed look on his face.
"Atleast that wont be a problem anymore, now you will only look at me." He said caressing your face only to be interrupted by you turning your head away from him and squirming trying to get away. Letting out a heavy sigh and forcing you to look at him "Stop being such a brat! Or that pretty face will be adorned with bruises." He said looking at you angrily.
You quickly stopped not wanting to be hurt more than you already were, after all you thought that glisten was your friend, someone you could trust. You wished you could've known, maybe that would've saved you from this fate. "Good girl. You can't run from me... literally." He said laughing at his own joke "Because no matter how far you go, I'll always find you." He said holding your face with both of his hands.
Oh he loved you so much, he would do anything for you. He yearned for you. He could never get enough of you. He wished you loved him as much as he loved you, hopefully eventually you'll get used to being with him. Because you would never leave. You were made for him, you were where you belong. So you will stay perfectly with him, forever.
#glisten x reader#dandy's world x reader#dandys world x reader#dw glisten#glisten dandys world#dw glisten x reader#I'm sorry this is pretty bad I really don't like this#Also contructive criticism is welcome#Sorry again if there's any grammar mistakes#i might rewrite this
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So Soon || D. Targaryen x oc (Dear Motherhood Series)
GIF by @claramaximoff DIVIDERS by @straywords
summary: Leyla is in denial that she may be blessed with another child again so soon after giving birth to her third child.
Dear Motherhood Series Masterlist
“Can’t you make it any tighter?” Leyla groans as her closest handmaiden, Alyssane, struggles to tighten her dress . “Not if you want to breathe, my Lady” She chuckles before going back to work.
The young hightower lets out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t understand-“ “Perhaps, sister, you have been blessed again” Alicent pipes in, her eyes looking up from the book she was occupied with. Leyla turned her head to her older sister’s direction. She chortled at the suggestion.
“Don’t be ridiculous, sister. I just had a baby” She said in a matter of fact tone, her hand resting on her stomach. She honestly couldn’t imagine having another kid so soon. Only being eighteen and possibly having four kids already? There was no response apart from a simple hum. Leyla looked at herself through the mirror. There could be a possibility but there was no way she was pregnant that soon.
~
“That bastard should be fed to Caraxes for thieving in our bedchambers!” Daemon fumes as he paces infront of the breakfast table where Leyla sat, a 10 day old Aegon in her arms as Alyssa and Baelon played with their wet nurse.
“He didn’t steal anything of value, Husband. Besides, he’s locked up now-“ “But what if you were there when he came in hm?” Her voice was cut off by his. “W-what if the children were there, especially if Aegon was there sleeping-“ “Which he wasn’t. Daemon, it’s alright. The children are alright. And you know that they are always accompanied.”
Leyla takes ahold of Daemon’s forearm as he looks down at her. “If something ever were to happen to our children and I wasn’t able to help it, I would never forgive myself.” He stares intensely at his wife. “Nothing is going to happen to them” She gives a reassuring smile before looking down at Aegon.
Daemon’s face softens as he looks down at his son in awe. “Breakfast, my Prince, my Lady” A maid curtsies as plates of food were placed in front of the couple. Leyla’s face scrunches in disgust. “Is there a problem?” Daemon questions noticing her twisted face.
She didn’t know what overcame her but the smell of the food was overwhelming her and making her sick in the stomach. “I-God I feel like I’m going to throw up” Leyla abruptly stands up passing Aegon to the wet nurse and leaving the room.
“Children,” Daemon calls out. Both Alyssa and Baelon look at their father, “Come here and eat breakfast while I check on your mother” He simply says before following his wife.
“Leyla?” Daemon knocks on their door to the their bedchambers. Silence greeted the prince before footsteps could be heard. Leyla opens the door with an awkward smile. “Are you alright?” Daemon raises an eyebrow at his wife as she nodded. “Quite. I think I just need water” She brushes past him without saying another word.
~
Not even a month later, everyone at court were whispering about speculations that Leyla and Daemon were expecting their fourth child. Their theirs child, Aegon, had only been born a mere twenty days ago.
When Leyla walked through the corridors of the Red Keep, whispers stopped as they glance at the young mother. She had no idea that it had spread around, and was the topic of everyone’s conversation. But she could wrap her head around why.
Maybe it was because she just had Aegon not even two weeks ago? Maybe it was simply because they were shocked that she was expecting another child only at the age of eighteen with three children under her wing. People would have never expected Daemon to be father of four children, let alone one
“I think I’m with child again, sister” Leyla holds Alicent’s hands in hers as she sniffled, tears welling in her eyes. “Oh but that is such good news Leyla-“ She stops mid sentence as she notices Leyla’s unhappy face.
“Why aren’t you happy then? You love your children plus-“ “Of course I love my children Alicent!” She snaps, “I love them, truly, with all my heart but I just dread-“ Leyla takes a deep breath calming herself down slightly and takes a seat beside Alicent.
“It’s not the children that I hate, God of course not” She lightly chuckles at herself, “It’s the pregnancies I have to endure for nine unbearable months” Leyla sits there fidgeting with her fingers. Alicent opens her mouth but nothing comes out.
She had no idea her sister felt that way. “Can you imagine swelling up and everyone whispering behind your back? Whispers about how I’m carrying Daemon’s child at this age or how I’m incapable of raising children.” Tears slowly fall down Leyla’s cheeks before Alicent embraces her younger sister in a much needed hug.
“I am so sorry. I never knew you felt that way Leyla” Alicent quietly spoke as she rubbed her sisters’ back in comfort. The younger Hightower pulls back, wipes her tears, and gives a small smile. “Father would be happy wouldn’t he?” She laughs to herself as Alicent frowns.
“Leyla you shouldn’t care about what Father thinks,” Leyla knew that. She really shouldn’t. After all, he was the main root of this all. Forcing her to marriage the Prince only at fifteen and ever pressuring her to bear his children so quickly. But deep down she did want Otto’s approval. “I know.”
~
tike-skip to the end of Second Choice ~
“Daemon?” Leyla starts, “Hmm?” Daemon hums, busy with peppering your hand with kisses. “I’m pregnant.” He pauses his actions as he stares at his wife in shock. “Say something, please.” Leyla grows anxious.
Next thing she knew, Daemon made his way to her and kissed her. “That is wonderful news, sweet girl. Our family only keeps growing” He says softly as he looks at their children. Leyla says nothing but just smiles.
“Are you not happy?” The Prince looks down at her as he notices her silence. She pulls him down to sit beside her. “Of course I’m happy Daemon-“ “But?” He interrupts.
Tears started forming in her eyes once again. “It is just so soon, Daemon.” She shakes her head, Daemon stays silent and listens. “I’m blessed to be carrying your child, truly, but I just had Aegon, not even a month ago. This is all happening so fast, I’m eighteen and now I’ll be mother to four?” She furrows her eyebrows, her gaze on the fireplace infront of her.
“Being pregnant is nothing but draining, Husband.” Leyla finally looks at Daemon. He doesn’t utter a word but instead, he pulls Leyla in for a hug. “iksā sīr kostōba se nēdenka, nyke gīmigon kostā gaomagon bisa. iksan kesīr tolvie dekuragon hen ñuhoso” He whispers in his mothers’ tongue. Something Leyla had mastered to understand. (you are so strong and brave, i know you can do this. i am here every step of the way)
“I’m so grateful to have you with me as my Husband, and father to our darling children” She cracks a smile. Her gaze once again drifting to her beautiful children.
~
and the first one shot to the dear motherhood series is done!! let me know if you enjoyed it, i can’t wait to write more of these :) lmk if u wanna be in the taglist for this series
taglist
@bellstwd
#daemon targaryen#house of the dragon#house targaryen#fanfiction#matt smith#daemon targaryen x oc#daemon targaryen fanfic#dearmotherhood#leyla hightower#dearmotherhoodseries#targaryenwhore#otto hightower#alicent hightower#a song of ice and fire#dad!daemon targaryen
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