#good puzzle game! figure out how to make sense of choices i made years ago via historical research and creative problem solving

[synesindri]

i will forever be haunted by the surname i gave to one of my ocs when i was in high school. she is still one of my most prominent ocs today but her name is historically/contextually unsound, because i gave it to her before i 100% knew who she was and before i had done much research about the names of people of her position during her time period. but it would be hard to change it because she has had it for 13 years. so now when i create ocs i just don't name them forever for fear that i will inadvertently do this again lol

[peakyblindersxx]

whiskey business - john shelby x reader (part 6 of ?)

gif by my queen @michaelgreys, i'm basically her fanblog now but im not mad about it :) i mean just look at him!!1! i almost fainted

a/n: first of all, if you stuck around to this point, tysm for reading!!! this has been one of the most amazing fics ive ever been a part of and it's all thanks to the gorgeous @stxdyblr-2k, who generously took control of the next few parts. her brain is beautiful and we all owe her flowers or something. when i read what she sent me i couldn't bring myself to change much except for some small edits, so pls give her lots of love if you like it!!!! i'm still working on requests as well :)

love, abi xxx

read part one two three four five | my masterlist

tagging: @datewithgianni, @mayaslifeinabox, @deepdonutkid, @springsoulofengland, @lilymurphy03

prompt: nothing this good can last forever. john doesn't know how to feel, and neither do you.

warnings: nsfw! a teensy bit of smut, angsty as fuck prepare yourselves accordingly, a lil fluff if u squint, yeah this fucked me up

Obviously, it wasn't the last time.

Over the coming months you had many last times; his mouth pressed against your neck said as much. As his responsibility at work increased, you'd find yourself heading to his office after your lectures and night classes more often, perched on his lap, smoking, while he finished up his numbers under your critical gaze.

Thomas was more than aware; his snarky comments made it obvious he had his ways of monitoring your actions. You'd seen the dark car lurking outside your rallies and lectures, and no matter how you'd try to throw him off, not even telling Ada where you were going and even, in a moment of desperation, through your neighbours back window, somehow, his silent shadow was still looming. He was practically begging you to make a mistake, to give everyone an easy out. You just couldn't give him the satisfaction. You knew Tommy saw the world as a chess board, always several moves ahead of his opponent. Even when you played him in chess club all those years ago, you could outflank him if you thought on your feet and kept him thinking he was winning until you obliterated him in the end game. It was brutal, sure. But as he told you, there were bigger games at play. You had your own. Thomas could read your mail, intercept your phone calls and have you followed, but he couldn't hear what you said out of earshot. Your lot could smell an interceptor in your ranks, so spying at that close of a proximity was out of the question.

That's why he'd decided to let you have John. You knew his silent approval and his constant management of the narrative meant he saw a tactical gain. There was only so much information he could get from Ada, but John? He just had to agitate him in the right way and all your secrets would come tumbling out. It was difficult hiding your world from John; of what he knew of, he was supportive, quizzing you over current affairs and political discourse, listening intently. Yet, you had to watch your mouth. You had to keep a barrier up and you knew John sensed the distance. Fundamentally, there was nothing either of you could do.

So here you were, in a comfortable limbo. Your days were filled with work, evenings were for lectures and reading groups at the city's university, Ada and you often stopped for a drink or three; you'd go by your flat to freshen up, and then to John's office. Sometimes, you wouldn't visit for a week or so when the guilt sent you over the edge, it was draining to be living so many lives and knowing you were betraying the person you loved most on earth. Ada was oblivious, taking you on her nightly adventures filled with men, dancing and waiting while she was busy kissing in dark corners. Sometimes a young blinder would ask if you wanted to be walked home. The first occurrence you thought was sweet, but as the nights it occurred coincided with nights John seemed extra pent up, you'd decided to ask. The boy, who couldn't be older than twelve but who you knew was trained in using firearms and had a revolver pinned to his hip and a razor in his cap, looked confused.

"Mate, it's not a tough question. Why do you come and ask?"

"There's a phone call." He shrugs, "Isaiah or Michael tells us to go and get you."

Isaiah and Michael were somewhat aware? Fucking hell. Your fling was basically a military campaign at this point, so many of your friends were complicit. The little lads who ran as messengers around Birmingham were complicit. You had to just end it.

But when you sat on his thigh, his chin hooked over your shoulder, it felt so worth it. He never turned you away when you came crawling back. He never mentioned it until after you were finished, hooked under his arm.

"Fucking missed you, gorgeous."

Sometimes he'd remind you not to be a stranger with a wink, but you could tell it was tearing him apart too. He never once came to you. That's how he could justify it in his mind; obviously, the bare minimum was not having sex with his sister's best friend, but in failing that, waiting for you to initiate it was somewhat better. He barely talked to Ada now, citing work as an excuse, but truly the guilt sickened him. He couldn't believe he was prepared to continuously hurt his little sister and betray her. But every time you turned up at his door, he couldn't find it in himself to turn you away. In his mind, every single time you came to visit him was the last time he'd let it happen, yet he was always waiting for you to come back, his blind closed to signal he was prepared. He never would call, it had to be your choice.

You'd been off and on for over five months now. It was so difficult to hide in plain sight, but you just couldn't stop yourself. Neither of you purposefully meant for this to be happen but fuck, was it fun.

For your birthday he'd gifted you a fur coat from the same shop his sister, aunt and the fashionable crowd of Birmingham had purchased theirs. He joked that you looked like a "proper razor chaser", kissing you when you pouted at his teasing, begging you to wear only the coat when you fucked him next. It was a practice for blinders to buy a coat for their wives and girlfriends as a status symbol. You were neither, but John claimed that being his "favourite lass" also counted.

John was a laugh, but you knew at any time he could close his door to you. Until he decided he couldn't be bothered with you, you weren't going to get caught. You just had to be careful until he got bored.

***

You did end up putting a foot wrong. It was a Thursday night; you were sitting on the edge of John's desk while he was ridding you of your blouse. It was past midnight, Birmingham was asleep. You almost didn't bother coming out tonight, but you knew John had lost a deal and you wanted to be there for him. Your skirt and stockings were strewn across the desk with his shirt, vest and waistcoat, muddled into the files and papers which were once neatly stacked.

His fingers were pumping in and out of you, his mouth lapping at your breast, your head tipped back in euphoria, groaning. The stress made him more affectionate and tender with you, and it was nights like these that made you wonder. Wonder if this could ever be something more, something real.

John's body suddenly pulled away from yours, quickly turning the light off.

"John, what-" You were cut off by John’s hand over your mouth, muffling your words.

"Shut up and get behind the desk." He hissed. "Someone's coming upstairs."

You quickly grabbed your clothes from the shiny oak surface and crouched, hiding yourself from view, quickly making yourself decent. You weren't going to get shot through the head with your tits out. You listened to the stairs creek, and it sounded like a group. You two were easily outnumbered. They were talking, but the thick panels of wood muffled their voices.

As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, the cracks in the door giving the room a dulled glow, you could make out the figure of John. He was free of his shirt, toned body on display, standing with his back flat to the wall, revolver produced from a discreet notch in the door frame, gaze fixed on where they'd enter. He was tense, ready. The door was unlocked from the outside, the door handle twisting.

John's lip shifted in confusion yet still he kept his trigger finger ready, not a single shake from your general.

The light flicked on and a shriek rang out. It was blinding, and you stood up slightly dazed. Finn was in the doorway, John next to him clutching his chest, panting and lowering the gun.

"Jesus Christ, Finn, can't you knock like a normal person? Scared the shit out of us." John bellowed, shaking as the adrenaline coursed through his body, resting his hands on the edge of the desk as he regained his breath.

"You're the one who pointed a gun at me! I didn't even know you were in 'ere!" Finn yelped.

The commotion had attracted the attention of Ada and Isaiah, who had come running and stopped in their tracks upon seeing you standing behind John's desk in the middle of the night. They weren't stupid. John was topless, your clothes obviously rumpled, both with matching tousled hair and practically stinking of guilt. You'd been caught red handed. Ada's eyes flicked between both you and John, and you could practically see the pieces of the puzzle clicking together in her mind, all the moments she found questionable since you'd returned suddenly making sense, realising she had been deceived by the two people who she was meant to trust most in life. Finn looked absolutely crushed, he'd never been able to conceal his emotions as well as his older brothers and sister, linking his fingers through Ada's, squeezing her hand.

"I forgot to drop this off earlier." Finn stated, holding up a money box, "Ada had keys so we thought we'd sneak in so I wouldn't get done by Tommy. We did call round yours, Y/N. We thought you were in bed."

"I'm sorry." You said. It was not enough but you just didn't know what else to say. You couldn't make it right, you'd really fucked up this time. Tears pricked at your eyes, as Ada examined you in silence.

John stepped in front of you defensively. "Look, Ada-"

"How long has this been going on?" She asked, her voice shaking with rage. You and John exchanged a glance. "I said, how fucking long?"

"Five months, six in a fortnight." He answered.

Isaiah whistled lowly. "That's fucked. I thought it was only a few times, that it'd finished."

"Never really over when it's John is it." Finn interjects, you glance to him, were you just one in a long string? You shouldn't be surprised but it was easy to pretend he may actually care about you.

"You've been fucking around for six months behind my back?" Ada yelped, Finn trying to comfort her but she pulled away from him. "And you fucking knew Iz."

"I'd expect this from you, yeah? Wouldn't put anything past you these days.." she sneered at John, "But you? You?! You're meant to be my best mate, but here you are sneaking about fucking my brother?"

"Ada-" you began, eyes welling with tears.

"I thought I could trust you. You're just another fucking razor chaser, aren't you?" She spits. "That's why you came back."

"No it wasn't, Ada-"

Her eyes flashed with anger, but this time John was on the receiving end. "You bought her that fucking coat ,didn't you? The fur one. You did! Fuck's sake!" Her fists were clenched, shoulders squared. For the first time in your life, you understood why crowds parted for Ada Shelby. Understood all the free drinks and cab rides, the nervous serving staff declaring your meal on the house (always acknowledged by Ada with a hefty tip), understood why the men of Birmingham didn't last long with her.

"Did it feel good to swan about town in that fucking coat, while acting as though you cared about me? It's so fucking embarrassing. All trussed up because my knobhead big brother makes you feel special? Thanks for rubbing it in my face."

"Ada, I love you. I never meant to hurt you, I got caught up and that's on me. It's my fault."

"You're not acting like you love me. This isn’t what love is, Y/N." She retorted.

You couldn’t do anything but nod. She was right.

John opened his mouth to speak, Ada silencing him, a scowl darkening her features.

"I don't care what you have to say. Any of you. Who else knows?"

"Thomas, Michael, Arthur-" John listed off slowly, each name prompting Ada to break down a little bit more in front of you.

"I didn't know Arthur knew." You said pointedly, John sending you an exasperated glance. He was planning on dealing with that later, but right now was about his sister. Fuck him if he thought you were going to stick around much longer. You didn't want to hear him justify everyone else knowing about your fling with your best friend being left completely in the dark.

"That all you have to say for yourself?" Ada snaps at you.

"I have fucking no defense, do I Ada? I should've walked away." You pushed your hair back, frustrated at yourself, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You begged yourself not to cry. Tears wouldn't help anything.

"Why didn't you?"

You didn't know. Your silence only riled her up.

"Why didn't you fucking walk away?" Ada yelled, slamming her hands on the desk.

You felt hot tears run down your face, quickly moving your hands to dab at your tears.

"Don't you dare fucking cry. After all you've done, you don't get to cry in front of me." Ada growled at you, John going to shush her, obviously wanting to comfort you. "You can all fuck off. You've all lied to me and gone behind my back. Fuck’s sake, you could've just told me. You could've just told me."

"We didn't want to hurt you." John said, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder but she flinches away.

"This hurts so much more. You get that you all lying to me is so much worse, don't you?"

"We weren't thinking."

"You really fucking weren't." Ada laughs bitterly, shaking her head, blinking away tears. "Fuck you lot."

She stormed out, tailed by Finn, begging her to slow down and talk to him, protesting his innocence in the situation. Isaiah hesitated in the doorway, his eyes flickering between you and John.

"I had no idea you two've been at it for so long."

"Iz, fuck off yeah? I've had enough today." John shot back, sliding across the desk towards you. "You alright, lass?"

"We're done here, John."

He slid off the table, his hand cupping your face, "Hey, gorgeous, I get it but don't go breaking my heart tonight. Can we just leave this for tomorrow? Sleep on it."

The idea of getting any sleep at all tonight was laughable, you'd be up all night replaying these moments and torturing yourself. Tonight couldn't get any worse so you had to finally end it. Now was the right time.

"John, it should've never happened."

"But it did."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's over."

"Y/N. You know for me it was never just about-"

"You're making it difficult. Stop making it difficult. Whatever you say isn't going to change that right now we have to do the right thing."

"I know you're right, but I don't want to let go. Is it so wrong to want you? I adore you, you know that."

You wouldn't meet his eyes. Sighing, John pressed his forehead to the side of your head, chin brushing your shoulder, eyes closing. He was begging you to stay with him. There had to be a solution, you'd figure it out together. His voice was cracking, eyes glassy. He looked so much younger when he was pleading. The tall bloke who terrorised the Midlands with his razor rimmed cap, a revolver in his hand, and a ruthless trigger finger had vanished. You wanted to stay, burning to curl up with him and for him to kiss it better.

"I should go." You told him. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, letting out a shaky sigh before pulling away, nodding.

"I'd drive you home but obviously-"

"Obviously."

John suddenly turned from you, eyes narrowing at Isaiah who was still hovering at the door. "Thought I told you to fuck off. Make yourself useful and get Y/N home safely." His tone was ice cold once again.

Isaiah nodded, offering his arm to you. You reached the door and instinctively looked back at John. His eyes met yours, staring at you from his desk, just as you knew he would. He prepared himself to watch you leave every night, but this time was different. That was it with you two.

Isaiah strode down the street with you in silence. You were tucked into his side as was customary with the upcoming blinders who were particularly ambitious, but there was no relaxed chat.

"Isaiah. What’re you thinking?" You asked, voice tinged with nervousness.

He sighed, running his free hand across his jaw, "That was intense in there."

"Just how he is." You shrugged.

"Does he love you or sommet?"

"Fuck knows… does it matter?"

"Of course it does. Do you love him?"

"Drop it. None of that matters, it shouldn't have happened in the first place so it can’t," You snapped, the anger at the situation you'd created suddenly overwhelming.

Isaiah whistled, raising his brow at your obvious turmoil. "You're in fucking deeper than you want to admit."

He walked you up your path, watching you turn the key to the side door leading to your bedsit. You paused, turning to him.

"Iz… I don't know what to do next."

It was so dark, you could see his face only by the lit cigarette burning to embers between his fingers. He inhaled deeply, pausing before delivering his carefully laid out plan of avoidance. Obviously the event of him crossing the Shelbys and losing their good graces weighed heavily on his mind. You nodded, listening intently, noting his ideas of relocation but he explained they were a final resort. The best thing to do was try to regain their trust; in the long run, he had calculated, it was the only option that didn't result in your life being haunted by the Shelbys. Even if they left you alone, their enemies would make a point to go after you, seeing you as an easy target. The other option was to leave the country.

"Good luck, Y/N. I mean it." He muttered as you turned the handle to the temporary safety of your home. You nodded, offering you cheek for the polite good night kiss you'd become accustomed to. He rolled his eyes and obliged, pressing an affectionate kiss to your cheek and ruffling your hair. "I'm serious. Watch your back."

***

John broke down when he finally heard the lock click shut. His eyes had been prickling with boiling tears, his jaw tensed to hold them back. He yelled out in anger, flipping his desk with force, a loud crash as the wood splintered against the stone flooring, glass shattering from the photo frames. His hands went to his head, unable to stop the gasping breaths escaping from his trembling lips, his face reddening.

"Fuck’s sake." He growled. He'd fucked everything up. He had nothing, just as he'd told you the first night you returned. The consequence was no surprise, he'd anticipated the fall out for a while, but he couldn't resist you. He was completely guilty and had no defense; his only justification being that you made him think with his cock, not his brain.

Fuck’s sake. Polly was going to murder him. She'd always had a soft spot for Ada, as the only girl in the family, and was no stranger to lecturing him over his flirtatious behaviour around Ada's friends. She'd murder him. He had a half mind to never go home. He rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles. Polly had no use for tears. That's what she'd tell him when he was a boy coming home with a skinned knee. This was far worse.

He was also sure that he was a worse brother than Tommy, perhaps the worst in the world. His baby sister, who he'd helped to toddle, carry proudly on his shoulders after school and race with her on his back through the fields on the outskirts of Small Heath, had walked in on him obviously in the midst of fucking her best mate. If he had swallowed his pride and actually talked to her, he wouldn't be in this mess. He could've told her that things changed, that for the same reasons Ada loved Y/N he had fallen for her, that he was truly sorry but she had to know before it got too far and someone got hurt. He couldn't go back.

He should've never approached you that night.

He should never approach you again.

He looked over the mess of his office, the splintered wood and shards of glass, a confetti of paperwork. Now nothing mattered. None of this mattered. He'd lost everything and he had only himself to blame.

[madamewriterofwrongs]

Sending you all my hugs 🥰🥰🥰😍 How about...Buddie having the time of their lives being absolute shit at arcade games.

I remember I asked for fluffy prompts the night my boss passed away. That was months ago but I did not forget. Thank you everyone who sent me prompts while I was processing some tough emotions.

911/Buddie 

1v1 Co-op Matchmaking

Read on Ao3

“Are you sure this is the place?” Eddie tried to peer through one of the windows with the scratched off signage but the tinted glass made it impossible to see anything beyond vague shapes in evenly marked spaces.

“Absolutely.” Buck joined him in looking through the glass but seemed to be satisfied with what he saw there. “I found this place my first year in L.A.” He went on to explain as Eddie followed him to the blacked out double doors. “I promise you’re going to love it.”

As with most things in Eddie’s life, he had no choice but to follow his partner. He entered first, a blast of cool air hitting his face, bringing with it the scent of French fries and old pennies. Beyond the sound of whirs and buzzes was quiet chatter and the occasional exclamation of excitement or disappointment (usually accompanied by a string of barely recognizable curses – no doubt, due to the ‘No Swearing’ sign hanging on the cash register in the corner). All around him were a collection of game machines in nearly straight aisles reaching several rows down and across. Interspersed between the machines were tables and chairs with folded signs informing guests that food and drinks were not to be taken to the game machines.

“It’s an arcade.” Eddie dumbly informed his friend.

Buck stood beside him, chest puffed with pride as he examined the terrain. “One of the last in the city that hasn’t been overrun by hipsters.”

“So you’re saying you found this place before it was cool?” Eddie strolled towards the register knowing Buck would be glaring at him all the way. As predicted, Buck paid for both of them and converted twenty dollars into quarters for the two of them two split.

“Oh, this place is old school.” Eddie, once again, exclaimed the obvious while pocketing his share of the coins. “How did you find this place?” he asked as they wandered the aisles looking for their first game. “I didn’t think you would be old enough to remember ‘Ms. Pacman’.”

Buck bumped his shoulder with a playful gasp. “You are being so mean to me today.” He chided before falling more somber. “When I first moved here and started training, I needed a place to study. I had, like, six roommates so there was no way I could concentrate there. So, I wandered around looking for something a little less chaotic and I found this place.”

“And this place was quieter than your house?” Eddie hadn’t lived with roommates in a few years – not since his army days – but he couldn’t imagine one house being that overwhelming.

“No.” Buck rolled his eyes at Eddie’s internal monologue. “I ended up at the library a few blocks away. But I came here once or twice when I needed to get out of the house. Obviously, work keeps me pretty busy, but I like coming here from time to time.”

All of it made sense, but Eddie heard the softness in his friend’s tone, the way he spoke about this place as though it were something precious. He was being handed a gift and he would not turn it down.

“Thank you for sharing it with me.” When Buck looked up at his partner through long eyelashes (when did he start noticing Buck’s eyelashes?), Eddie felt goosebumps rise and wash down his body. Like awakening from a long nap, his limbs tingled and he felt every step as they continued their journey to find the perfect game.

It wasn’t the first time he felt that flash of lightning through his veins at the sight of his friend – he was a single man and his partner was very attractive – but it had been happening more often than he cared to admit. Noticing the little details of Buck’s appearance (his eyelashes, for example) was new. Feeling his heart beat faster and his skin burn with a desire he hadn’t felt in a long time…was less new. In fact, Eddie was nearly ready to put a label on the feelings stirring in his chest.

Last winter, when his sisters were visiting and the three siblings got to have a big family dinner with all the cousins and aunts and uncles, he’d spent a little too long talking about Buck. Or, maybe, Christopher had. Either way, Sophia managed to corner him in the kitchen after dessert had knocked out the majority of the children, and asked Eddie how long he’d been with Buck. Romantically. It was sometime after midnight (and a bottle of wine between the three of them) that Eddie finally admitted to both of his sisters that he had feelings for his best friend. Adriana had cooed and asked if Buck felt the same and, on some tipsy instinct, he’d answered “Yes.”

Of course, he didn’t know for certain – he’d never come out and said “Hey, Buck, I want to bend you over the railing and then grow old with you. What do you say?” – but he knew Buck. He knew Buck better than anyone (Maddie might give him a run for his money, but he’s fairly certain there’s a few stories Buck hasn’t told his sister about his time travelling the country). When that man loved, he loved with all his heart, and Eddie figured out a long time ago that Buck had given at least part of himself to the Diaz boys. Why not his heart?

So, yes, Eddie had a pretty good idea of how he felt, and was nearly certain that Buck felt the same way. And now, they were standing in an arcade – the location of which Buck hadn’t shared with anyone else in his life – occasionally making extended eye contact through the aisles. It wasn’t a matter of ‘if’. It was a matter of ‘when’.

So now, when not staring longingly into his friend’s eyes, Eddie scanned the names listed above each game. Some of the names were ones he recognized (‘Frogger’, ‘Pacman’, the aforementioned ‘Ms. Pacman’, ‘Centipede’). Others, were less familiar (‘Inferno’, ‘Dig Dug’, ‘1942’) and looked…confusing. His eye caught on a ‘Space Invaders’-looking game and he called his partner to his side.

“Want to be a member of the ‘Moon Patrol’?” He bumped Buck’s shoulder with the smile he reserved just for his friend, and dug for a quarter.

“Nope!” Buck declared as he retrieved his own quarter and inserted it into the appropriate slot, bumping Eddie out of the way so he could stand centered at the controls. “I call first game!”

Though he rolled his eyes in annoyance, Eddie took the loss as an opportunity to watch his partner work. He loved watching Buck work (nearly as much as he enjoyed working beside him). There were times when the man’s focus was hypnotizing. The firm set of his jaw, the piercing eyes that seemed unblinking, the way every part of his body tensed in concentration. He’d seen Buck excited, anxious, worried, panicked, even numb – when it came to the uncontrollable dangers of their job, they had been through a lot together. Every emotion showed Eddie how much his friend cared about his work.

This expression, however, was one he doubted many other members of the Los Angeles Fire Department had seen on the young firefighter. It was one Eddie had been privy to on more than one occasion when Christopher had brought over a particularly difficult puzzle or science question. He wasn’t sure he was ever meant to see it but he happened to be standing in the doorway after putting away leftovers from dinner and he’d seen it: the desire to win, the earnest focus, the eagerness and seriousness of his intent. The first time he saw, it was an accident.  Every other time he rushed to finish his chores whenever he thought that face might emerge… that was less of an accident.

He was pulled from his fond musings by a minor key jingle and light-hearted groan of disappointment.

“Only got to Point Q on the Champion Course.” Buck exclaimed, throwing his hands in defeat.

Eddie couldn’t help himself – or at least, that’s what he told himself. His partner was too genuine. But that was one of his favourite things about the man. Where Eddie could usually keep his outward appearance neutral in the face of adversity (a skill he’d used nearly every day since joining the LAFD), Buck never shied away from letting his face show just exactly what was on his mind – even if he never said anything.

And so, Eddie laughed. Only a small chuckle, but his heart never felt so light as when he was with Buck. It was easy to see, however, that his laugh could be misconstrued as mocking. Perhaps it was both.

“Think you can do better?” The newly-defeated champion bowed and offered the center position to his friend and Eddie stepped into place with another fond eyeroll (he made a mental note to ask his optometrist if too many eyerolls could cause nerve damage).

All right, Eddie thought as he tried to get a handle on the controls, so it wasn’t as easy as he thought. The joystick was rigid and the control pad was sticky and the graphics were definitely from an era long-passed. If he hadn’t been raised with an infinite amount of patience (according to his aunt), he might have given up. As it was, he died before reaching the first checkpoint.

Buck’s laughter could not be interpreted as anything other than mocking, and he didn’t bother to hide it. “You are truly terrible.” He informed Eddie with a slap on the shoulder.

Though he knew he didn’t need an excuse, it was too easy to play when Buck was around. “I’m used to the console at home. Unlike some people, I don’t spend my time playing with technology from the Reagan-era.”

“Well then let me show you.” Before Eddie could properly interpret Buck’s offer, the man had come to stand behind him, chin hovering over his shoulder, arms palming his elbows and guiding him back towards the console. “One more round.” Buck declared, enthusiastically. At his prompting, Eddie gripped the joystick and placed his hands just above the cluster of buttons on his left side. The now-familiar starting music began and Eddie focused all of his energy into game before him. Every few moments, he heard Buck mutter a command or offer advice and he took it without question. The joystick was still rigid and the buttons were still sticky but together, they made it to the second checkpoint. And then the third. By the fourth, Eddie had all but forgotten the world around them. The only things that existed were Eddie, the game, and Buck’s voice in his ear. It was soothing, almost, to fall into that rhythm. So long as he navigated the bumpy terrain and dodged the alien invasion, nothing else mattered.

Until he missed jumping over a landmine and was blown to smithereens.

“Damn!” Buck’s voice was suddenly too close. The air around him electrified on an exhale and the heat of his chest warmed Eddie to his core. As quickly as the world had fallen away in Buck’s arms, it came rushing back, more vibrant and alive than before. Every sound of electronics whirring, Buck’s steady breathing, and people shouting – even the rumble of the cars outside the arcade – was amplified. Every smell of old metal, sweat, and smoke hidden under Buck’s aftershave was overwhelming. Every touch of his scratchy jeans, the clammy plastic in his hand, and the warm presence at his back, made Eddie close his eyes to shut out one of his senses. The only one left was taste.

Buck and Eddie had held each other plenty of times over the years. They were partners and friends who worked in close contact with one another. At the end of a hard day, in the middle of a daring rescue, at the beginning of a heated glance as they stood in front of a game machine. They had shaken hands, hugged tightly, gripped for dear life at the edge of a cliff, even bumped shoulders often enough that he had a Buck-shaped indent near his heart. But standing in this loose hold – the other man’s arms barely brushing his, his back pressed against the other’s front – Eddie had never felt the overwhelming urge to taste more fervently than he did in that moment.

He knew that Buck was an attractive man – he was repressed, he wasn’t dead – and though he’d been contemplating thinking about maybe working up to taking some next step, he hadn’t counted on standing in Buck’s arms and feeling his heart flutter like a school girl with a crush.

Upon slowly dragging his eyes to meet his friend’s Eddie found himself breathlessly overtaken by the sensation of hope. Buck’s eyes were bright and round (earnest, just as he’d known them to be) His eyelashes closed and opened slowly, seemingly disbelieving of his circumstance. If Eddie knew Buck as well as he hoped he did, then there was a question in his friend’s eyes that was begging to be asked. A question Eddie was more than happy to answer.

“We make a pretty good team.” He felt his own breath reverberate off of Buck’s cheek and it stuttered in time with his heart.

“I’ve always thought so.” Buck’s lips twitched with suppressing a smile.

Then, came the moment of truth. Eddie felt a brief flicker of panic as he took one last breath before diving in.

“What should we do about it?”

In reality, Buck only contemplated his response for a few seconds but for Eddie, the silence stretched for years – three years, in fact. He felt the world move in slow motion and within it, he watched as Buck’s face flicked with a thousand emotions: fear, anxiety, excitement, contentment, desire, hope, doubt; finally, he settled on quiet happiness.

“I think we need to find a game we can play together. As partners. What do you say?”

As if there were any other response, Eddie smiled at Buck. “Partners.”

The rest of their time at the arcade was locked away, inaccessible to even Eddie, who recalled nothing more than laughter and flirtatious eye contact as they made their way through the aisles of games. At the end of the night, Eddie would get down the block before turning back to Buck’s door. He would run a nervous hand through his hair while he knocked with the other, and waited for the answer. And then, he would blush as he asked if Buck wanted to go on a date with him tomorrow. Buck would blush harder and assure Eddie that he would happily attend, but warn that he no longer kissed on the first date.

But maybe on their second date tomorrow, he’d get lucky.

[thewakingcloak]

March 2021

I'm back!!!

Oh man it feels good to be doing gamedev again (and actually enjoy it).

So first things first, we had a baby!

This lil guy is super cute and has made an awesome addition to our family. As you can probably guess, this is why I spent a few months not doing gamedev. Even when I had time, I didn't have the emotional or mental bandwidth to work on ProtoDungeon. And that's to be expected!

But there was another issue: a weird bridge bug. Essentially, you could walk under a bridge... and if you tried to walk on it, you’d fall through it. I could not figure this thing out. Collision was working, options were all set up correctly, etc. Every time I thought about working on my game, I knew this bug was facing me down and I’d have to address it. And I couldn’t get over the mental block.

So I took another tack (I make it sound like this was a choice, but it was more a compulsion): something I’d been thinking about for a while was learning 3D. I wanted to see if I could get some kind of fusion between 3D and pixel art. I won’t go into all that here, but I had a good time, and it really primed the creative pump. If you’re interested here’s my twitter thread, and here’s a thing I made:

At last, around mid-May I had worked up enough courage to finally address the bridge bug back in ProtoDungeon. My 3D journey not only got me some cool skills, but warmed me up. And also the more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was due to one particular piece of code: the edge slip.

This was here so you didn’t run into scenarios like this, where you're "floating" on the edge:

Basically it would slip you off the edge if you were that far over it. Makes sense, right?

Well, unfortunately, there are a LOT of weird edge cases (haha) where this is straight up broken. Like the bridge. The bridge was so narrow that it just always assumed you were on the edge, so it’d just push you off (rude). And there were plenty of places where you could fall off and just get horribly stuck.

And, sure enough, deleting that code made all of these things miraculously start working.

That felt really good. And even better, I felt like I could keep going! I decided to listen to something my instincts had been saying about the lv3 boots: the dash roll wasn’t working.

The lv3 boots, while equipped, would transform the roll into a dash, making it faster and giving you i-frames (invincibility).

This was fun, but it had problems. It wasn't intuitive or consistent with how the other items worked. I could've figured out a way to teach the player how to use it, probably, but it also wasn't particularly useful. It meant, first, I’d have to contrive some kind of environment mechanics to make the dash useful, and I don’t want to get too contrived. And second, it meant the standard roll was not actually very useful at all.

I brought this up on the Studio Spacefarer Discord server and after some discussion, I decided to go back to one of my very early ideas from years ago: adding a Pegasus Boots-style dash which the player uses by holding down the item button, “charging it up” via a jump and sprinting on hitting the ground. It sounds complicated, but it feels really good. No invincibility, just crazy speed. Then the roll could get the i-frames, making that more useful too. So behold, the new dash:

And, uh, yeah, this is SUPER fun. And while it’ll be useful in puzzles and stuff, it’s also a good way to just get around (as long as you don’t crash into anything... or maybe even if you do). The boots are all about travel and movement, and while a dash-roll could be included in that, I think a dash-sprint gives a lot more bang for your upgrade buck.

I’m happy to say I got a lot of other stuff done in March, even though I only worked about two weeks total. Here’s the full list...

Changelog:

Fixed some incorrect z-object cliff placement .

Added bridges that work with the new system (can go over/under them).

Fixed a bug that caused bridges to be submerged at the wrong level.

Things fixed by removing the edge-slip code.

Fixed coming out of the water onto a ramp.

Fixed umping up to a ramp.

Adjusted the ground logic to prevent getting stuck when falling down a ledge onto a ramp.

Completed moving the beach “down” on the z-axis to accommodate tide rising and falling.

Removed the old roll dash for the lv3 boots and replaced it with a sprint dash which can be “charged up” with a jump.

Added i-frames to the roll.

Force the switch to the “item get” state to prevent issues with sprinting and rolling into items.

Started testing various other previous bugs to see if they were resolved with the latest changes (a few are, so far!).

That’s all for this month. Thanks for reading!

[ducktastic]

2020 Gameological Awards

Over on the Gameological Discord, we have an annual tradition of writing up our games of the year not as a ranked list but rather as answers to a series of prompts. Here are my personal choices for the year that was 2020.

Favorite Game of the Year

I didn’t know what to expect when I walked into Paradise Killer. I knew that I liked the vaporwave resort aesthetic from the game’s trailer and figured I was in for a Danganronpa-style murder mystery visual novel with an open-ended murder mystery at its core. Those assumptions were… half-right? The game definitely plays out like the exploration bits of Danganronpa set on the island from Myst but with far simpler puzzles. What I didn’t expect was to fall so deeply in love with the environment—its nooks and crannies, its millennia of lore, its brutalist overlap of idol worship, consumerism, and mass slaughter. It makes sense that the world of Paradise Killer is its strongest feature, since the cast of NPCs don’t really move around, leaving you alone with the world for the overwhelming majority of your experience as you bounce back and forth between digging around for clues and interrogating potential witnesses. And despite what the promo materials indicated, there IS a definitive solution to the crimes you’re brought in to investigate, the game just lets you make judgment based on whatever evidence you have at the time you’re ready to call it a day, so if you’re missing crucial evidence you might just make a compelling enough case for the wrong person and condemn them to eternal nonexistence. Am I happy with the truth at the end of the day? No, and neither is anybody else I’ve spoken to who completed the game, but we all were also completely enthralled the entire time and our dissatisfaction has less to do with the game and more to do with the ugly reality of humanity. I’ve always been of the mindset that “spoilers” are absolute garbage and that a story should be just as good whether you know the twist or not and any story that relies on surprising the audience with an unexpected reveal is not actually that good a story, but Paradise Killer is a game about piecing together your own version of events so I feel that it’s vital to the gameplay experience that people go in knowing as little as possible and gush all about it afterwards. Just trust me, if the game looks even remotely intriguing to you, go for it. I’ve had just as much fun talking about the game after I finished it with friends just getting started as I did actually solving its mysteries myself.

Best Single Player Game

I honestly missed out on the buzz for In Other Waters at launch, so I’m happy I had friends online talking it up as Black Friday sales were coming along. The minimal aesthetic of his underwater exploration game allows the focus to shift more naturally to the game’s stellar writing as a lone scientist goes off in search of her mentor and the secrets they were hiding on an alien world. It only took a few hours for me to become completely absorbed in this narrative and keep pushing forward into increasingly dangerous waters. In Other Waters might just be the best sci-fi story I experienced all year and I’d highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys sci-fi novels, regardless of their experience with video games.

Best Multiplayer Game

Look, we all know this year sucked. 2020 will absolutely be chronicled in history books as a fascinating and deeply depressing time in modern history where we all stayed inside by ourselves and missed our friends and family. It was lonely and it was bleak. Which is why it made my heart glow so much more warmly every time I got a letter from an honest-to-goodness real-life friend in Animal Crossing New Horizons. Knowing that they were playing the same game I was and hearing about their experiences and sending each other wacky hats or furniture, it lightened the days and made us feel that little bit more connected. Sure, when the game first launched we would actually take the time to visit one another’s islands, hang out, chat in real-time, and exchange gifts, but we all eventually got busy with Zoom calls, sourdough starters, and watching Birds of Prey twenty-two times. Still, sending letters was enough. It was and still is a touching little way to show that we’re here for one another, if not at the exact same time.

Favorite Ongoing Game

Zach Gage is one of my favorite game designers right now, and when I heard he was releasing a game called Good Sudoku I was sold sight unseen. The game as released was… fine. It’s sudoku and it’s pleasant, but it was also buggy and overheated my phone in a way I hadn’t seen since Ridiculous Fishing (also by Zach Gage) seven years ago. Thankfully, the most glaring bugs have been fixed and I can now enjoy popping in every day for some quick logic puzzle goodness. Daily ranked leaderboards keep me coming back again and again, the steady ramp of difficulty in the arcade and eternal modes means I can always chase the next dopamine rush of solving increasingly complex puzzles. It’s not a traditional “ongoing” game the way, say, Fortnite and Destiny are, but I’m happy to come back every day for sudoku goodness.

Didn't Click For Me

With Fortnite progressively losing me over the course of 2020, finalizing with my wholesale “never again” stance after Epic boss Tim Sweeney compared Fortnite demanding more money from Apple to the American Civil Rights movement (no, absolutely not), I dipped my toe into a number of new “battle pass”-style online arena types of games, and while Genshin Impact eventually got its hooks into me, Spellbreak absolutely did not. With graphics straight out of The Dragon Prince and the promise of a wide variety of magic combat skills to make your character your own, the game seemed awfully tempting, but my first few experiences were aimless and joyless, with no moment of clarity to make me understand why I should keep coming back. Maybe they’ll finesse the game some more in 2021, or a bunch of my friends will get hooked and lure me back, but for now I am a-okay deleting this waste of space on my Switch and PC.

"Oh Yeah, I Did Play That Didn't I?"

I remember being really excited for Murder By Numbers. Ace Attorney-style crime scene investigation visual novel with Picross puzzles for the evidence, art by the creators of Hatoful Boyfriend, and music by the composer of Ace Attorney itself?! Sounds like a dream come true. But the pixel-hunt nature of the crime scene investigations was more frustrating than fun, the picross puzzles were not particularly great, and the game came out literally a week before the entire world went into lockdown which makes it feel more like seven years ago than just earlier this year. I remember being marginally charmed by the game once it was in my hands, but as soon as my mind shifted to long-term self care, Murder By Numbers went from hot topic to cold case.

Most Unexpected Joy

I was looking forward to Fuser all year. As a dyed-in-the-wool DropMix stan, the prospect of a spiritual sequel to DropMix on all major digital platforms without any of the analogue components was tremendously exciting, and I knew I’d have a lot of fun making mixes by myself and posting them online for the world to hear. What I didn’t expect, however, was the online co-op mode to be such a blast! Up to four players take turns making 32 bars of mashups, starting with whatever the player before handed them and adding their own fingerprints on top. It sounds like it should just be a mess of cacophony, but every session I’ve played so far has been just the best dance party I’ve had all year, and everyone not currently in control of the decks (including an audience of spectators) can make special requests for what the DJ should spin and tap along with the beat to great super-sized emoji to show how much they’re enjoying the mix. Literally the only times my Apple Watch has ever warned me of my heightened heart rate have been the times I was positively bouncing in place rocking out to co-op freestyle play in Fuser.

Best Music

Only one video game this year had tunes that were so bumpable they were upgraded to my general “2020 jams” playlist alongside Jeff Rosenstock, Run the Jewels, and Phoebe Bridgers, and that game was Paradise Killer. 70% lo-fi chill beats to study/interrogate demons to, 20% gothic atmospheric bangers, 10% high-energy pop jazz, this soundtrack was just an absolute joy to swim around in both in and out of gameplay.

Favorite Game Encounter

It’s wild that in a landscape where games let me live out my wildest fantasies, the single moment that lit me up in a way that stood out to me more than any other was serving Neil the right drink in Coffee Talk. Over the course of the game, you serve a variety of hot drinks to humans, werewolves, vampires, orcs, and more, all while chatting with your customers and learning more about their lives and relationships. The most mysterious customer, though, is an alien life form who adopts the name Neil. They do not know what they want to drink and claim it doesn’t make a difference because they cannot taste it. Everybody else wants *something*. Neil is just ordering for the sake of fitting in and exploring the Earth experience. It’s only in the second playthrough that attentive baristas will figure out what to serve Neil, unlocking the “true” ending in the process. Seeing the typically stoic Neil actually emote when they tasted their special order drink? What an absolute treat that was.

Best Free DLC of the Year

It’s still only a couple of days old at the time I’m writing this, but Marvel’s Avengers just added Kate Bishop, aka Hawkeye, and THANK GOODNESS. Almost every character in the game at launch just smashed the endless waves of robot baddies with their fists and that looks exhausting and uncomfortable. Hawkeye (the game calls her Kate Bishop, but come on, she’s been Hawkeye in the comics for over 14 years, let’s show her some respect) uses A SWORD. FINALLY! Aside from that, I’m just having a blast shooting arrows all over the place. She and Ms Marvel are the most likable characters in the game so far, so I hope they keep adding more of the Young Avengers and Champions to the game, and if the recently announced slate of Marvel movies and tv shows are any indication (with America Chavez, Cassie Lang, and Riri Williams all coming soon to the MCU), that seems to be what Marvel is pushing for across all media

Most Accessible Game

Nintendo is, first and foremost, a toy company. They got their start in toys and cards long before video games was a thing, and they still do more tests to ensure their video game hardware is childproof than anybody else in the industry (remember how they made Switch cartridges “taste bad” so kids wouldn’t eat them?). This year, Nintendo got to rekindle some of their throwback, simplistic, toys-and-cards energy with Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics, a Switch collection of timeless family-friendly games like Chess, Mancala, and Backgammon, along with “toy” versions of sports like baseball, boxing, and tennis for a virtual parlor room of pleasant time-wasters. The games were all presented with charming li’l explainers from anthropomorphic board game figurines, and the ability to play quick sessions of Spider Solitaire on the touch screen while I binged The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix made Clubhouse Games one of my most-played titles of the year. Plus, local play during socially-distant friend hangs was an excellent way to make us feel like we were much closer than we were physically allowed to be as friends knocked each other’s block off in the “toy boxing” version of Rock’em Sock’em Robots.

"Waiting for Game-dot"

I get that everyone loves Disco Elysium. I saw it on everyone’s year-end lists last year. I finally bought it with an Epic Games Store coupon this year. This year was a long enough slog of depressing post-apocalyptic drudgery, I didn’t want to explore a whole nother one in my leisure time. I’ll get to it… someday.

Game That Made Me Think

Holovista was an iPhone game I played over the course of two or three days based on the recommendation of some trusted colleagues on Twitter and oh my goodness was I glad that I played it. What starts as a chill vaporwave photography game steadily progresses into an exploration of psychological trauma, relationships with friends and family, and the baggage we carry with us from our pasts. In this exceptionally hard year, I badly needed this story about spending time alone with your personal demons and finding your way back to the people who love and support you. Just like with Journey and Gone Home, I walked away from Holovista feeling a rekindled appreciation for the people in my life.

[cateringisalie]

Village: Resident Evil ramblings

(Some spoilers)

Ethan Winters is a goddamn idiot.

I say this without a shred of nostalgia; I first encountered him in RE7 and feel less than nostalgic towards the guy. RE7 without the benefit of the former entrants was a FPS horror and pretty good. Though you couldn’t escape that the characters you remembered were the Baker family and Mia; Ethan was a walking camera with a gun and some very simplistic emotional responses (fear, rescue wife, escape, swear occasionally). Having now run through the whole sequence of games, Ethan stands out starkly as the blandest and least interesting protagonist the series ever produced. He is possibly worse than Piers. Village updates Ethan’s personality. A bit. Well. Not really. Still got that fear, still got the swearing. Still got a mind to escape. But rather than rescue his wife, it’s about rescuing his daughter. I mean; Mia was gunned down and shot a further 9000 times by infuriating series stalwart Chris Redfield a little under ten minutes into the game proper. Not that Ethan really comes to terms with the trauma. By minute fifteen of the game the van you’ve been shoved in by Chris (who doesn’t shoot you for no reason he feels like explaining) has crashed and Ethan’s daughter is missing. Mourning Mia doesn’t actually enter into Ethan’s thought process. Goddamn idiot. Not to say that life with Mia was exactly picturesque; a few years after RE7 the couple are now somewhere nebulous in Eastern Europe in a very lovely house with a distressing number of empty wine bottles in the kitchen. A happy marriage this does not seem to be given Mia doesn’t want to get into the events of RE7 anymore, but Ethan does – but also failing to understand that the cover-up of the incident might be why no one is talking much about the whole mess in Louisiana and that bringing it up both distresses and angers Mia. But; the inciting incident has occurred and we’re propelled into our new scenario. Ethan; once again fish out of water, and its not like we have a choice. This is not to say Village does not repeat the same narrative trick of changing POV character, but there is both less of that, and the Half-Life-style regimented first person view jarringly completely goes out the window in the last quarter. It was less than consistent at points, but sparingly when occasionally and jarringly camera angles shifted to depict an introduction. But the game is also perfectly happy to render whole FPS sequences with gun visible and everything as it plays out a story beat, so... I don’t know? Fortunately Ethan’s environment and the setting are much more interesting. The unnamed Village is a satisfying knot of tangled streets, locked doors and environmental obstacles. Enemies don’t respawn per se, but additional enemies are added on subsequent visits to the effective hub of the game. There’s livestock to kill and give the Duke – the merchant playing a similar role to the pirate-like guy from RE4. Duke’s an entertaining character (some have objected to his physical and hugely overweight depiction); chatty and far more knowing than he will let on. He has a dangling thread come the end so perhaps will reappear elsewhere. He’ll sort the gun upgrades, supplies, let you sell treasure and point you towards your next destinations. Which is just as well as the human population of the village dies out somewhere between the first and second hour. No one left and any futile attempts to save people end in almost hilariously disastrous tragedies (no Ethan, don’t go higher in a building that is on fire). Leaving you with Lycans, zombies and gargoyles to fend off. Occasionally there’s some bigger foes on the level of the Executioner from RE5 but nothing on the level of the Tyrants. That kind of thing is left to the Village Lords. The villagers – before they all die – have a curiously unfamiliar religion and praise a figure known as Mother Miranda. She reportedly kept the village safe, but something has changed and now the Lycans run amok and without restraint. Not hard to pin that the reason for the change is Rose’s arrival (or could it be Ethan? COULD IT? No. Man is a goddamn idiot). The only door out of the village you can open is to Castle Dimitrescu and... It feels unnecessary to even get into what awaits. Given fandom have been so noisy about the tall lady and her vampiric daughters since the first trailer. She is so very, very tall. The castle is the first mode of Village. Possibly closest to RE7; Dimitrescu’s daughters are vulnerable based on certain environmental details (read the notes!) but otherwise should be fled from. Dimitrescu herself is invulnerable to everything bar one weapon and you need to work at getting that, so she needs to be fled from. Otherwise, explore the castle, find treasure. Sneak. Solve puzzles. It all looks suitably gorgeous and you get multiple chances to see if as you loop through the rooms and unlock more doors. The Village macro mechanics wrought as micro here. There’s a canny hint at a late reveal in the blunt utility of in-game mechanics to be had too. But – really should have been obvious given their prominence in the trailer – given Castle Dimitrescu is the first level, it means we must say goodbye to the very Tall Lady with knife hands and move onto someone else. In between levels, we get the first reinforcement of a tease from the trailer; the symbol of the Umbrella corporation. Its engraved into a location called the Ceremony Site. Its daubed on a cave wall as high as the Tall Lady. Its on the strange structure you insert the yellow flasks each Village Lord guards. And it means... almost nothing. RE's meta-plot has always been a mess and everyone’s favorite pharmaceutical company hasn’t been so active for a while, so the idea that we might be getting into some interesting weirdness with them again is oh so appealing. And yet – I was disappointed. Despite the repeated glimpses of the familiar white and red logo, the connection ultimately comes down to one letter I found at about 7/8s of the way through. Oswell Spencer – founder of the company – visited the Village years ago and saw the cave painting and adopted it as his logo. Oh. That’s... underwhelming. The same letter does at least prod at wiring Village’s latter reveals into the formation of the company along with tying in some parts of RE5 but if you thought this would be the company or the family dynasty origins or anything like that, you are in for a disappointment. It’s a tease and one that goes nowhere and does little. Oh we might now see how Spencer got into the whole inadvertent zombie making mess but its not a factor in the plot of this game nor does it really change the stakes of the previous. Perhaps I should be glad it’s so frivolous given other retcons in certain other franchises, but it feels so suspect to have drawn the attention and then shuffle the implications out the side-door. At least the other village lords have their own appeals. The second level is RE once again stealing PT (the PS4 demo to announce Silent Hills) given Konami outright don’t care about it anymore. Stripped of your guns and inventory, it’s a claustrophobic puzzle level requiring you to hide with mechanics familiar to both Evil Within and Alien Isolation. That same loop of rooms as you seek out puzzle solutions and hide from a staggeringly distressing malevolent entity. The third is combat light until the final confrontation; the fight staged in a flooded village – oh and Chris who still doesn’t shoot you but refuses to explain anything. And the fourth cheats. Heisenberg is thoroughly entertaining and grabs two levels for his own; an assault on a stronghold and his horrible cyborg factory outside of town. He has Magneto metal powers. Heisenberg is the camp villain to outdo the other camp villains. He’s having fun, he kinda likes Ethan and is oddly on his side. He found time to put together massive signposts to direct Ethan onto the last two levels (a good thing too given his lack of sense). But both levels are lacking. The Stronghold is a relentless firefight against hoards of mook enemies; the factory is overly long and maze-like. I am as tired as Ethan when he exclaims “What more?” And after Heisenberg is dealt with; the long, convoluted lurches to the ending. First person goes out the window. The game dabbles in characters toying with your understanding of what was going on but in a strangely limited way and completely ignoring the other implications of the reveal. Suddenly you mow down more and more enemies than ever before, bullets scarcely a concern. The final reveals of who/what/where/how come through. Not exactly explicable for what’s on-screen, but the effort’s been made to tie Village’s overt supernatural tendencies back into a world setup in RE. Its not magic and those are not truly werewolves. And the villain’s motivation is! Hugely disappointing. Connected as it is to the Umbrella letter, you might hope for something completely out there, but its unsatisfying and feels pretty sexist too. Or at least lacking in imagination to an astonishing degree and yet here we are. The game feels sloppiest as the final boss fight arrives flitting between characters without the shaky but workable character hand-offs RE7 deployed. Back in first person mode to talk to Duke one last time before engaging in.... a relatively simple boss fight. All the boss fights have been pretty easy – there’s nothing on the level of RE6’s sometimes horrendous contextual fights, or the annoying two-player RE5, nor the demanded accuracy of hitting specific weak-points as in RE7. And I don’t mind that. Unload all your weapons and keep your health up. And victory. There are fix-it fics already, but really, I don’t see the point in trying to fix the issue these people have. There’s an obvious setup for a game past this one with a strange throw-away reveal in the end-sequence (whither RE9, Revelations 3 or something else there are no clues as yet). There’s a spoiler for the sting given the end-credits lists a character who didn’t appear in the main game. The sting itself might wind up drawing on the sting from Revelations 2. Village is not RE at its best, but is at least more in the spirit of goofy, campy nonsense than 7. It at least is more at home with playing with the trappings of horror while not actually trying to be outright scary. As with 7, the villains are more interesting and more memorable than the good guys. And – as I found out after completing the game – we were robbed of Ada Wong dressed up like a Bloodborne character somewhere in the game. And that I think is the biggest shame of all this.

[tundrainafrica]

Title: En Prise (Chapter 1)

Summary:  

Hange already had the innate analysis skills and the quick wittedness to excel in the classroom. Chess should have come easy for her. As she processed her fifth loss to the man in front of her, she started to understand that there was more to the game than meets the eye.

College AU! Levi is a little too good at chess and Hange gets roped into studying the game further.

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Links to other chapters: 2

Notes: Netflix has this new show out called "Queen's Gambit" which makes chess look like I pretty good driver for a story. Attack on Titan has its fair amount of chess motifs as well and that's when I knew a Chess AU has to exist somewhere in the fandom. With that, Levihan AU came into existence.

Chapter 1

His earliest memories comprised only three sensations --- gnawing hunger, paralyzing despondency and the reprieve of the cold hard pieces at his fingertips as he maneuvered them through the board.

Over the years, his body had tuned out everything else, justifying it to his being too young to have processed it anyway.

If anyone had asked him though about the first games he had ever played with his mother, he would have been able to replay them from opening the game with a queen's pawn to the sight of his mother's hand laying the king on the ground in defeat.

It had been ten years since his mother's death, three years since his uncle's disappearance and Levi was alone. It was just him and the last memories of his uncle and his mother immortalized in a game of strategy.

Somehow, that was what made tournaments so calming to the young adult Levi.

It was his sixth game of the tournament and Levi had ended up playing on one of the boards on the corners of the large dining hall turned tournament venue. He snuck a glance at the top boards at the stage towards the center of the room before making his first move.

"The London System. Too scared of tactics eh? Typical of beginners."

Calming yet oddly stressful. Calming yet oddly depressing. Levi thought to himself as he watched the familiar play of the London System transition into an unfamiliar position.

Of course, there are billions of possibilities. There are bound to be some I've never seen in my life.

"Hey kid, your position is just weakness after weakness. Those doubled pawns on your f file, your h3 pawn. This is just a mate waiting to happen."

Within a few moves, Levi's opponent tore through his castled king with a bishop sacrifice. Seeing that the mate was inevitable, Levi put his hand out from under him in surrender.

"This was way too easy, kid. You probably could have given me a harder time if you just didn't show up at all. Do yourself a favor and find yourself some other hobby."

There were assholes in the chess community and Levi had heard that same insult towards him countless times. He grabbed his hoodie, put it back on and made his way out of the tournament hall. On the way out, he stopped in front of the list of their latest scores.

Scores as of Round 5

He scrolled towards the bottom of the sheet, knowing his name would be there.

Levi : 0

Levi was surprised to feel a knot at the pit of his stomach as he stared at the score for a few more seconds.

Losing would hurt for anyone. He thought to himself, making sense of that odd bout of emotion.

He walked away from the tournament hall and disappeared into the crowds of the subway beneath it.

                                             En Prise

Mens Sana in Corpore Sano.

A Sound Mind in Sound Body.

Every student was required to take eight units of physical education, spread out among the first two years of college

If Hange had read the flyer before she applied to the prestigious Eldia university, she probably would have figured it out by the fine print right under the name of the university. If she had at least opened her study plan since she got it three months ago, she probably would have seen it written in clear fine print below “General Chemistry” and “Precalculus”

She had picked her university for the Chemistry degree, the prestige and nothing else. All she had to know was that it was one of the highest ranking universities in the country and they had complete facilities for biochemistry research.

She was quick to take the test, fill out the paperwork and submit it along with her essay.

Five months after she found the results, a week before the start of classes, came enlistment. As Hange stared at her study plan during her online enlistment proper, she felt completely and utterly trapped.

Her majors were no problem since they were all pre-enlisted. Her predicament came in the form of her physical education units.

Four semesters of PE. Hange grimaced. And it's gonna be counted towards my GPA?  She was not athletic at all and had hoped to avoid anything physical so she could dedicate herself to her studies.

How long will I have to do this?  Hange thought to herself as she scrolled through her four year study plan that opened up in the website in front of her.

   Physical Education [for enlistment]

She clicked on it and watched as the choices opened up in front of her. Around the country, hundreds of other students were enlisting and she watched as the numbers of open slots fell to zero in some classes.

It's not like I wanted to take basketball or volleyball anyway. Hange thought as she sorted it by slot. Surprisingly, the ones which were running out of slots faster were the more physical ones. She had already planned to try for anything with the least exercise.

Table tennis. Fencing. Tai Chi. Yoga.

She stared at those four for a moment as she considered those alternatives if she could not find anything less strenuous. She continued to scroll down.

Street dance. Folk dance. Chess.

Her eyes fell on the last one with twenty full slots. She had played the game many times before, having been taught by her own parents growing up. She had beaten a lot of her peers as well since she had the innate analysis skills and the quick wittedness, most people her age did not have growing up. She was confident she would have it easier in that class.

For a moment, she had considered pushing it back towards a later semester. As the numbers started to fall though on all the classes, Hange knew she had to make a decision soon.

She clicked "Chess" and a few pages later, "Confirm Enlistment."

It's gonna be my first year. The important thing is I get through it.

                                               En Prise

A few days after enlistment, Hange moved into her dormitory room with her roommate, Rico Brzenska, a petite girl with short blond hair and glasses who looked too busy to even acknowledge the new presence in the room. She looked like she was studying the first few pages of their precalculus textbook, only offering her name in response to Hange loudly and messily emptying the contents of her suitcase on the floor next to her bed.

Hange had similar plans of reading in advance. The first day of classes was three days away though and she had wanted to see the campus at least before burying herself in study material

She looked out the window to see that the sun was starting to turn a mild orange. She had arrived in her room by 4pm. It was early autumn though and Hange guessed that it might get dark sooner than she expected.

Unpacking could wait. She wanted to see the city. Hange threw aside her suitcase, pocketed her wallet and phone, and made her way outside of the dorm.

She stepped out into the green landscape just outside the entrance to the women's dormitory. The air was starting to get cold and she almost regretted not bringing a jacket. Not wanting to waste any time though, she trudged on, making her way out of campus.

A lot of new students must have moved into the dormitories already. There were many people her age already walking the streets of the university town. Hange could see some students already inside the bars that lined the busier streets.

Even since high school though, she had never seen the appeal of bars and parties. She chose to walk on without giving them a second glance.

Hange was about to circle back into campus when along the more quiet streets, she came across a small book shop.

I walked this far already, might as well check out stuff.

The familiar musty smell of books welcomed her as she opened the store shop. She had spent years cooped up in library after library, and had developed an affinity for that scent in particular.

She had bought most of her textbooks in advance. In fact, the only subject she had not prepared for at all was her Physical Education classes. She had chosen that university for their chemistry curriculum and the fact that she had to take physical education units, left her bitter and indignant about giving it the same  preparation she would have naturally given it if it were any other subject.

With time though, Hange did get curious. A day before she left for college she started playing a few games of speed chess anonymously online, winning most of them. It was an easy and straightforward game. All she had to do was make sure her pieces didn't get eaten and make sure she takes the free pieces. When she accumulated enough of an advantage, she went for a mate. All the games had been like that.

As she walked through the bookstore, she crossed a games section. The books in the store piled up all the way up to the ceilings. Hange surveyed the stack of books in the game section, only to realize that at least half of them were about chess.

Was chess this complicated of a game? Hange opened one of the books only to find paragraphs worth of explanation for one board position. She pulled books out of the shelves one by one, scanning the first few pages of each book that had caught her interest.

The Sicilian Dragon

The London System

Attack with Black

Chess Puzzles

Common Chess Mistakes

Maybe it was worth studying. Hange settled for what looked to be the most similar to a text book. It was thicker than a lot of other books but was worth as much as the others which only convinced her more that it was the best bargain.

Modern Chess Openings.

Hange was sure if she just followed the path she had taken an hour ago to the bookstore, she would have ended up safe home.

If I follow the same general direction, I'd also get home anyway. With that in mind, Hange stepped out of the main street and into one of the narrower and darker alleys, her new book safe in a paper bag by her side.

Although the streets were starting to get dark as the sun started to set below the horizon her curiosity and sense of adventure remained unwavered. It was a reckless habit and Hange's parents had told her before that it could get her killed one day.  

The streets she found herself in had their fair share of bars and eateries, although not as posh as those in the main street. Her own experiences had dictated to her multiple times though that the smaller ones probably even served better food than those in the main street.

She slowed her stride, gathering in the rustic view of the alleys, the souvenir kiosks and the shabbier bars.

"That shortie is fucking hustling me! He left his knight en prise on purpose. I'm not leaving until he gives me back my money!" A middle aged man burst out of one of the bars, his face pink with what could have been anger or alcohol.

He left his knight en prise… A free piece. Having spent a good hour in the bookstore going through chess books, the lingo was still fresh in her mind.

Two men were holding him from behind, looking the same shade of pink and Hange deduced then that he was probably drunk.

"We're really sorry for the trouble we're causing you here. We left the payment on our table." Another voice said from the doorway of the bar.

As Hange approached the bar, she saw another man bowing his head in apology to what looked to be the owner by the door. The two men made space for Hange to enter as they continued to discuss the logistics of what just happened. Hange knew she would get more context on that scene if she checked it out herself.

She did not need to think much to see the cause of the ruckus. Most of the bar goers were still staring in shock at one of the tables in the corner.

On the table sat a young man who looked to be her age, counting a wad of fresh bills on his hand. In front of him was a chess board, the pieces lined up so neatly, it was unbelievable to think it had anything to do with the drunk angry man who had burst out of the bar just a minute ago.

"What's that?" Hange asked no one in particular as she approached the table. The complexity of the game had caught her eye already back in the bookshop. Getting to see it in practice so soon after that got Hange red with excitement.

"Chess," the man at the table said as if the answer wasn't so blatantly obvious. "You play?"

It was an easy and straightforward game. All she had to do was make sure her pieces don't get eaten and make sure she takes the free pieces.

All she had to do was accumulate enough of an advantage to go for a mate.

He put two of his closed fists in front of her, a pawn in each of them. She picked the one on her right which opened to a white pawn. She was slated to start first.

She opened up with her king's pawn, knowing from experience that it opened up the most pieces. He mirrored her first move, pushing his king's pawn so it was right in front of hers.

She brought out her knight, then her bishop, preparing to castle kingside.

By the start of the middle game, Hange was starting to realize that the man in front of her had completely mirrored her position. A few moves in, he left a piece en prise.

Wins were usually straightforward for those with a material disadvantage. Before taking the piece, Hange looked at the man in front of her, only to see he looked completely unbothered by the free piece.

Am I missing something? It's too early in the game. There's no attack.

Oddly enough, fifteen moves later, Hänge found herself resigning having trapped her queen in the corner of the board.

She was a knight up. She should have been able to win.

"Again."

                                      En Prise

Five games in and Hange was out of money.

"Wait. Let's play one more."

"It's late." The man stood up and counted the cash which used to be Hange's. "Besides, I'm assuming this is all you have on hand?"

Hange stood up to look at the clock behind her and it was only then did she realize she stood a good few inches taller than him. His domineering presence on the board had somehow made him look much taller to her.

She looked to the clock behind her.

9:30

Shit. Hange had lost track of time. Her dormitory had a 10pm curfew on weekdays. She grabbed her paper bag, pocketed her empty wallet and hurried out of the bar.

Hange made her way through the narrow alleys towards the general direction of the university. Those streets were much more peaceful than their wider counterparts and that gave Hange the perfect environment to reflect on how the man had played.

She taught back to the first game. He had left his night en prise at the start of the middle game, his face completely unbothered even as Hange took it. Either way, he was a material down and she knew enough of the basics to know that the win should have been straightforward from there.

Hange could not pinpoint exactly which move proved fatal on her end. The man had slowly taken over her position, advancing his territory slowly but deftly until suddenly her queen was trapped.

At first, she thought that she had been careless but as she looked back to the five games in a row. They all started with her opponent giving a notable advantage to her, whether it be a three pawns, a free knight or a rook for a knight.

Every game, she had thought she was winning. His blunders at the opening, would have made anyone think that he was a little careless or a little too overconfident. His wins came out looking like lucky breaks. Those lucky breaks though were the reason he managed to earn from the games in the first place.

In between games, if Hange had given herself time to breathe and consider the situation, she probably would have noticed the pattern. Her frustration at her own carelessness had taken over every single time.

That man was no scatterbrain. He planned everything

She thought back to the drunk man who was dragged out of the bar.

That shortie fucking hustled me! He left his knight en prise on purpose. I'm not leaving until he gives me back my money!

That same shorty just walked away with almost half of her allowance that month.

As the realization dawned on her of what just happened, Hange found it difficult to contain her anger. "That fucking asshole!" Hange screamed as she kicked the sign that welcomed her back to university grounds.The pain that quickly spidered up her foot and the ice cold wind that brushed past her only added injury to the insult of having been duped too easily.

As Hange limped back into campus, her thoughts flew back to her opponent a while ago. He had counted the money multiple times as he waited for her to move. He kept his face expressionless with every move she had played. Those images only served to further infuriate her and Hange started to scramble for an action plan.

She had to get back at him somehow.

[bluerosesburnblue]

It’s just now occurring to me that Seren/Talbott makes significantly more sense if you know how I’ve re-written several sidequests to better fit Seren’s personality, which I keep forgetting is not how canon went because half of these quests came out way too long ago and I’m far too attached to my rewrites

The only things that Talbott knows about Seren in Year 1 are that when she was announced for their sorting ceremony a LOT of people started whispering (about Jacob, the Dwyn Family getting kicked off of the Sacred Purebloods list, etc.) and that she sits in front of him during Transfigurations. Once he hears about what Jacob did, his curiosity is settled and he doesn’t think about her at all

I’m putting the Hagrid’s Birthday timed quest to Year 2, after you help Hagrid save Fang. That would make sense of the fact that Fang has a name and Merula’s dialogue about Dumbledore giving MC 100 House Points. And Hagrid’s birthday is December 6, so… that’s when the quest happens! December 6, 1985. (Probably starts a few days earlier, like the 3rd or 4th to account for party planning time)

This is relevant because of the moment where MC is keeping watch of Fang while Merula and Ismelda are teasing Talbott in the background by levitating his clothes and flinging him around. In the canon version of that quest, a Niffler (possibly Sickleworth since the quest came out after he was introduced?) chases them off. But, since I’m putting it in Year 2 before Rakepick is at Hogwarts there’s no reason for that Niffler (assuming it is Sickleworth) to be there

In my rewritten version it’s Seren who goes over and chases them off, because she’s not oblivious and even in Year 2, when she’s still super shy, she’s not just gonna let Merula pull something like this. It’s one of those rare moments in the early years where you can catch a glimpse of who Seren’s going to become, where she gets very assertive and fearless. It’s only because she’s defending someone else at this time, it’ll start to become her default state in later years

Of course, she’s still extremely shy and awkward and so is Talbott, so when she asks him if he’s okay he just... freezes and doesn’t say anything. And Seren doesn’t know what to do so after, like, 30 seconds of silence and just staring at each other she just kinda nervously screeches “OKAY, GREAT,” and jogs off with Fang

This is the moment that Talbott starts taking real notice of Seren. He hasn’t had anyone stick up for him like that. He remembers her sorting, now he’s trying to put together a profile of her. Figure out what she’s all about. He’s so curious, she seems so similar to him sometimes, but then she gets these bursts of confidence. Part of him wants to drop it, he figures it doesn’t matter. But then Penny (who is both Seren’s friend and her roommate) starts tutoring him in Potions and she’s telling him all these stories and he’s just getting even more invested in figuring out “what’s the deal with Seren Dwyn?”

Seren doesn’t remember the incident at all. It wasn’t the first time she’d ever chased Merula off from bullying someone, and her mind was preoccupied with party planning so she just never thought about it again. She won’t remember it even happened unless Talbott brings it up, and her response is just going to be “Wait. That was you? WAIT-”

After that moment in Year 2, they don’t interact again until Year 5. Talbott has been keeping an eye on her out of sheer curiosity for years and Seren hasn’t thought about him at all

So, that brings us to the Animagus quest, which I changed a lot. Not that there was necessarily anything wrong with it, but it was the first Timed Sidequest and was teased for long enough that I’d... kind of already plotted out how I wanted most of it to go by the time it did. Also, a good chunk of it didn’t fit with Seren’s character at all

So, first of all, third year? For one of the most difficult pieces of Transfiguration magic? Uagadou school teaches it to 14-year-olds, so it’s possible, but they’re teaching it professionally and MC is flailing about with just Talbott and Penny figuring it out in the canon quest, so I’m gonna give that year a no. Also, it makes more sense for this to occur after the second Rita quest, otherwise why would Dumbledore have to explain Animagi and the registry if MC’s already an Animagus? Personally, I’m placing the start of it in late November of fifth year (1988 – maybe January 1989)

I’m also not a fan of the fact that we’re doing this just because Penny wants to brew a tough potion. Personally, I don’t see Seren and Penny as that close. They’re friends, but I generally play it more like Penny’s more invested in their friendship than Seren is. Not to mention it completely kills any sense of agency MC has, and I’m really not a fan of all of their friends trying to force a potentially dangerous, potentially illegal life choice on them for reasons such as “I want to brew a tough potion!” and “It would be cool!” If Penny or Seren messed up even a little she could end up as a half-human-half-animal amalgamation permanently! Think of Hermione’s Polyjuice Potion mishap from Chamber of Secrets but for the rest of your life. Seren would make a life-changing, potentially dangerous decision like this for Jacob’s sake only. So the rewritten motivation is looking for any edge on the search because she’s getting frustrated that it’s been five+ years since he’s disappeared and she still can’t find him, but she has found notes suggesting that he was an unregistered Animagus (such as the potion recipe being in his room)

She’s partially trying to figure out what Jacob’s Animagus form is. If it’s informed by your personality and everyone tells her she’s “just like her brother”… then maybe her form would be close enough that she could figure out what his is (or, in a lucky break, exactly the same as his)

She gets the idea after the second Rita quest, and spends the end of Year 4/beginning of Year 5 studying up on the Animagus process and looking for any opportunity to make it work

And, because Year 5 is the year she’s stuck in detention and thus, under intense scrutiny from the faculty, it opens up opportunities to sneak out for the Vault search if she needs to so she sees little downside in trying

Seren would not be open about doing this. So cut out pretty much any friends being told about it or getting directly involved. This is a Secret Seren Project, which is pretty typical of her, actually

She’s also not gonna have Penny just brew the whole dang potion. In fact, she’s not gonna involve Penny at all. (Seren’s capable of doing things on her own, game. She doesn’t need Penny to stand next to her and tell her what to do every time she tries to brew a potion). Because she has no intention of registering (it would defeat the point of using it to sneak around), she doesn’t want anyone involved because then they become accomplices. Also, Seren just likes doing things for herself. I think she’s a little offended every time Penny refuses to let her brew potions for the Vaults

Also, no McGonagall involvement! She’s not planning on registering. Why would you tell a teacher you’re gonna commit a crime?

The only time Professor McGonagall gets involved is Seren asking theoretical questions about the Animagus process under the guise of both OWL studying and because Seren’s just known to ask questions about theoretical magic (“Do potential Animagi keep the leaf in their mouth to absorb saliva from all parts of a biological lunar cycle, or is it more a demonstration of perseverance to focus the soul?”)

So the actual meat of the quest starts pretty much the same. Tulip and Barnaby bring up Talbott at lunch one day and Tulip mentions that he seems to know a lot about Animagi. Seren shows mild interest, but not much beyond that (“What? Seems like a lot of work for not much help, to be honest.”) Secretly, she’s ecstatic because she’s finally got a chance at making an Animagus transformation work beyond what she’s read about it (the potion she could do on her own, but he might be able to show her the spell and probably won’t turn her in to the wizard cops)

She asks Talbott about it at dinner when all of her friends are gone and she’s pretty sure nobody’s around to hear it. Talbott still overheard them, and still references it, but it’s more of an “I heard what you were discussing at lunch” thing. She asks him what he knows, they do their little back-and-forth. Then he brings up that she’s got a reputation for helping people with occasionally sketchy things with no questions asked (*cough*CHARLIE AND THE DRAGON EGG*cough*) and she’s pretty forthcoming about it (“Just keep in mind that I’m both a Prefect and in eternal detention, so request wisely.”)

Secretly, Talbott is very excited. Seren contacted him first and finally gave him an excuse to follow her around and finally get those answers about what her deal is that he’s been craving for years. He’s not even thinking about her as a possible friend or anything, he just wants to figure out what makes her just... act for the sake of others, completely without thinking about damage to herself, and with such wild conviction that every year she seems to outdo herself in wild success with tasks that should be way above the average student’s skill. Part of it reminds him of his parents, but he’s also just found her so interesting from afar (made even worse when Seren goes through her drastic change in presentation at the start of Year 4 and starts acting like she did when she chased Merula off all the time). She’s like the world’s most intricate puzzle

In this rewrite, Talbott is still looking for potion ingredients for Penny, but they’re not for an Animagus potion. They’re for the Draught of Peace that she’s making to help out Madam Pomfrey because she’s being overwhelmed with kids coming in overly stressed about OWLs and NEWTs, and Penny knows what it feels like to be so stressed that you feel you need the potion (but she also respected Seren’s advice to not take it to deal with the Beatrice situation, at least not without Madam Pomfrey’s supervision). It ends up being a “you scratch my back, I scratch yours” between Talbott and Seren. Help me break into Filch’s office to get confiscated potions supplies because Professor Snape won’t let Penny borrow enough to make all of the Draught of Peace that she wants to, and I’ll teach you what I know about being an Animagus. Talbott has them pick up the materials for the Animagus potion while they’re collecting stuff for Penny. He’s tempted to ask Seren about herself, but just ends up staying silent and watching how she handles getting the ingredients

Seren is way less pushy about being Talbott’s friend than MC is in the quest. She still teases him about his use of “we” but it’s more of a partners-in-crime jab. Like, it’s Seren. She can relate to everyone thinking you’re a weirdo. She can relate to wanting to go solo and avoid people. She’s not even sure how she has friends, they just sort of happened. So when Talbott says “I fly solo,” Seren doesn’t tell him “everyone needs friends,” she says “Understood. But I’m here to help if you ever need some.”

They deliver Penny’s stuff and she’s honestly surprised they’re hanging out. Talbott insists that Seren’s only there because he needed to get into Filch’s office, Penny buys it because this really isn’t the first time Seren’s helped someone without question. Heck, this isn’t the first time Seren’s done weird things to get potion ingredients for her. So Talbott gets to teaching Seren about the Animagus transformation (and supervises her. They’re not friends! But he doesn’t want her to get seriously injured doing this. This is the girl that stuck up for him years ago)

Because it’s Seren, she’s got the entire Animagus process planned down to the second. She’s scheduled her leaf-in-mouth thing to overlap with Christmas break, which she plans to spend in Hogwarts and won’t need to talk to anyone during (Wed. Nov 23 –  Fri. Dec 23 1988, with Dec 23 – Sat. Jan 21 1989 as a backup date if she swallows the leaf. She’s praying for luck with the full moons). She’s got an old-fashioned windup alarm and an almanac to get the times for dawn and dusk right (and Christmas break means she’ll have the dorm room to herself, so she won’t wake up her roommates and give away what she’s doing). She’s even got some gum to secure the leaf to the roof of her mouth/under her tongue

Her plans get derailed HARD when Bill and Charlie decide to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas to keep her company because she stayed during fourth year to avoid going home to parents who were going to ignore her or yell at her, and who hadn’t had it in them to celebrate Christmas for years, when at least she gets decorations at Hogwarts (she told Charlie this, so naturally Bill knows). She’s forced to bring them in to what she’s doing (“But you can’t tell anyone! You’re accomplices to a crime now!”)

She actually really appreciates it. She tears up a little. But seriously, boys, this was not the best time to do that

They can’t help her keep track of doing the spell at dawn, but they can totally run shouting at her when dusk’s approaching. She ends up keeping the leaf in her mouth on the first try

Talbott also stayed over for Christmas because he doesn’t really have anywhere else to go

Heck, I could see Seren inviting him to sit with them for Christmas breakfast and the four of them just sharing a nice, happy moment for once. Seren gives out gifts. Charlie is DELIGHTED at the dragon sculpture that she enchanted to move around (and she’s delighted that it actually worked. She jumps up and cheers when it bursts out of the box like she planned). She even gives Talbott some cookies she baked (“Consider them a thank-you for all of your help with that project.”)

Also, Seren starts singing Christmas songs at breakfast and Professor Flitwick overhears. He IMMEDIATELY starts trying to get her to come back to the Frog Choir after she joined briefly in Year 4 and then quit at the end of the year. But, oh man, professor, she quit for a reason and now she’s a Prefect, too, and there’s just no TIME…

Gobstones with Talbott in the courtyard still happens, but this time it’s over winter break and there’s no one out there to hear him confess his backstory to her, and no one around to see him transform into an eagle and fly off. It’s a huge show of trust to Seren now, and not one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen bird boy do

Seren hides the Animagus potion at the top of one of the abandoned towers that she walks near during her Prefect patrols (probably the Lookout Tower due to the open area) and uses her patrol schedule to go hide it. Do Prefects even need to patrol during winter break? I mean, probably. There’s still kids there and likely a shortage of Prefects

Choses a thundersnow storm at some point during the break to complete the ritual. It is freezing, and very dramatic. Bill and Charlie are there just in case something goes horribly wrong

Seren transforms into a raven and it’s the happiest she’s been in a long freaking time. She perches on Bill’s arm, she perches on Charlie’s shoulder. She changes back and she’s laughing and crying and just so happy that it all worked so well and it’s like, a tangible thing. It’s physical proof that she’s getting skilled enough to get Jacob back. And it’s the best Christmas present she’s ever given herself

The three of them get caught by Professor McGonagall leaving the tower, but do a bit where they pretend that Seren heard something up there during a patrol and called them over to help her investigate it just in case, but it was just the wind knocking the loose door around. Bill does an excellent performance miming the door swinging back and forth while Charlie nods enthusiastically. It’s very convincing, I assure you. McGonagall does let them go, assuming they were just getting up to some Christmas fun

At some point a particular golden eagle hanging out in the Owlery gets his day rudely interrupted by a very loud and excitable raven. He can hear Seren giggle out a “thank you” when she leaves. He’d never admit it, but he found it charming. And then immediately tried to convince himself that he did not think that about her, because it’s dangerous to get attached (but it’s already begun to be too late for that)

(Side note, but Rowan eventually finds out by accident late Year 5. She stumbles into Seren transformed in their dorm, freaks out that there’s a bird in there, and Seren has to transform back and tell her everything to calm her down. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier!?” “I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO BE AN ACCOMPLICE!”)

After everything that happens in the quest, Talbott’s started developing a friend-crush on Seren. She’s quiet and respects his space, she’s pretty damn smart (he’s particularly impressed at how much she knew about the Animagus process without him telling her), and there’s something about how dedicated she is to whatever she decides to do that interests him

Seren kind of thought that at the end of the quest, she and Talbott already were friends. And she was really happy to have a friend with the same sense of humor as her, who she could have some really interesting discussions with. But...

After worrying that he’s starting to like her too much, Talbott kinda ignores Seren for a couple of months, which makes her upset but she doesn’t know how to bring it up with him. Then Flying Solo happens around the beginning of April. It’s 80% the same, minus MC being pushy about being Talbott’s friend. Other minor changes are:

When learning Obliviate from Flitwick, Seren insists that both of them do the spell as it’s only fair, and she catches on easily since she’s started Legilimency training by then which gives her an edge with mind-based spells

Instead of telling Talbott some big secret, Seren goes on a five minute rant about how much she hates potatoes (”You’ll never forget how much I hate them when I’m done!”). Talbott tells her that he’s wanted to talk to her since their second year when she saved him from Merula but he didn’t know how. This elicits the above “Wait, that was you?” response before he Obliviates her

Seren ends up being really shaky and mumbling a bit after Talbott Obliviates her, and he’s terrified that he messed something up before she gets herself coherent enough to say that she felt this exact sensation earlier in the year (Pettigrew Obliviating MC). This relates to my headcanon that as a Legilimens, Seren’s more sensitive to mental spells like Obliviate. Flitwick recalls the incident and assures Talbott that Seren will be fine, Seren thanks Talbott for finally proving to her that she was Obliviated that night

Talbott and Seren agree to tell each other what they Obliviated. Seren tells him about the potato rant at the fountain that night when they’re waiting for Merula to show up, and Merula shows up just before Talbott can tell Seren about when she helped him in Year 2. He never does tell her, Seren forgets that he was supposed to entirely (though I think he will when they’re adults)

The thing about Year 5 Seren is that she’s... uh... constantly about to snap at any given moment, so the idea of Merula finding out about not just her illegal Animagus status, but Talbott’s (which, funny enough, is even better blackmail material because Seren prioritizes others over herself) sets her off. Bad. When it comes time to Obliviate Merula, Seren just tells Talbott to follow her lead, he already did his part getting Merula there

Seren successfully Obliviates Merula and then, less than a second after, Depulsos her into the wall. Talbott is just... stunned and confused as Seren walks up to Merula ranting about how she can’t do anything without Merula following her, makes a show of reluctantly apologizing “but you really startled the shit out of me!” and drags her up by her sleeve

The goal was to overwhelm Merula so that she wouldn’t even have time to process what was happening or that she could have been Obliviated. It works. A very disoriented Merula asks what happened and Seren pointedly pulls a notebook from her bag and slams it into Talbott’s chest “I was trying to help Talbott catch up on our Tranfigurations work when you came up behind me shouting! If you need Rakepick so bad, she’s not here. Can’t even do something as simple as this without you getting involved, can I!?”

Merula leaves after questioning what Seren even has to do with Talbott anyway, which lets both of them know that the Obliviation worked. Talbott’s kind of confused about his feelings because that whole display was both very smart, but very aggressive and a little intimidating. When he asks her about why she even helped him at all she tells him that she “wasn’t about to let Merula put you in danger, especially since it was my fault anyway.” It really clicks for him in that moment that Seren will genuinely go to any length she needs to to protect others, and that what’s been driving her though the Vaults is her loyalty to Jacob, that unstoppable sense of determination, and this overwhelming feeling of responsibility for everyone’s safety. He’d always though she was clever enough to be a Ravenclaw, but now he sees that the core of her is Hufflepuff ideals taken to the extreme. There’s a new sense of respect there. And then the “oh no I’m getting attached” fears kick in again

He tries to give Seren her notebook back, she insists he keep it. It’s actually just a copy of her notes that she made using Geminio that she was planning on giving him anyway to help with the classes he missed. Talbott still insists that they’re not friends. Seren doesn’t fight it. After all, she just almost exposed his secret. Even if she set it right, she knew that the breach of trust alone was probably going to be the end of things. Besides, she’s been pushing away everyone all year. What’s... one more? Especially if he’s going to push himself away

She wasn’t planning to pursue it anymore until talking with Penny over lunch and realizing that even if she kept Talbott’s secret from getting out, something’s still bothering him. And dammit, even if he doesn’t want to be her friend no one else seems to care that something’s up with him and no one deserves to be just left to struggle alone the same way that she was when Jacob went missing. So she talks to McGonagall, finds out about the necklace, firmly informs Talbott that she’s going to find it, no, she’s not leaving, just tell me where you were you don’t even have to come with me, but I am finding that necklace

The necklace search goes the same as it does in canon

During their talk at night after finding the necklace, Talbott asks Seren why she was so determined to find his necklace out of nowhere. She pulls her locket that she keeps under her clothes off and holds it in her hands for a few moments before responding “Because if I couldn’t bear the thought of losing mine, I can’t imagine what you must’ve felt.” She opens it up and hold it out for Talbott to take

He’s the first person at Hogwarts to see the enchanted picture inside that locket. Two kids, one as young as three years old, posing in front of an ivy-covered wall. The little girl is holding a plush baby seal in front of the bottom half of her face. Her brother tries to get her to smile and accidentally knocks the plush out of her hands. She looks like she’s about to cry before he scrambles to pick the plush up and starts tickling her face with it, saying something that can’t be heard. The little girl starts giggling and her brother hugs her before indicating the camera for her to smile at

“That’s him.” It’s not a question; Talbott can tell by their resemblance exactly who the boy in the photo is. Seren moves to stand next to him to look at the photo, too. “Yeah. That’s the boy who started it all. Jacob.”

After four years, Talbott finally gets what the deal with Seren Dwyn is. They talk a bit, he becomes one of the few people to learn that her father’s a Squib, her mother’s a Muggleborn, and her grandmother’s a Pureblood supremacist that hates all of them. She figures it’s only fair to share since he told her all about his parents. Seren admits that she’s jealous; she would’ve rather had parents that she believed loved her for a time, even if they were gone, than parents that she knew would never want her and that could easily come back to remind her even if she did leave. It’s a conversation that illuminates all of their similarities and differences. The mutual respect they have for how strong the other must have been to deal with the suffering, the appreciation for each others’ wit, the realization at how naturally they work together...

Talbott can’t deny that he thinks of her as his friend anymore. But to his surprise, she tells him no.

“Talbott, I’m going to strongly advise against that.”

“What? You can’t go to all this trouble and tell me we’re not friends now.”

“I just- I’m not- I can’t really stop you, but I get involved in dangerous situations every year and I don’t want you to feel you have to- to care about...”

“It’s a little late for that.”

“...I know.”

He thinks she’s cute when she’s flustered. Oh wait no oh no is this a crush???

After this it’s a little more flimsy. Not sure what exactly I want to do with them for Year 6 because I’m not entirely sure how much of Year 6 I’m going to want to rewrite. I know that I definitely want Talbott to find Seren, who still traumatized about the Portrait Vault, sitting on the ground when waiting for the Hogwarts Express. She clearly hasn’t slept and is only partially responsive. Even though she’s supposed to go in for a meeting with the other Prefects on the ride over, she ends up falling asleep in a quiet cabin that she got with Talbott. He doesn’t wake her up and hides her from any Prefects that come looking for her (which ends up just being Charlie and the other Hufflepuff Prefect in their year)

Full disclosure that I haven’t finished the Festival sidequest yet, but I’m considering keeping it sans Talbott revealing himself as Seren’s secret admirer. Not wholly sure where to slot that in, though it would probably be just after Flying Solo but before the Portrait Vault putting it... late April/early May of 1989 or so?

[evanbuckbuckley118]

Golf On TV (Songfic - Maddie x Chimney)

Hello everyone! This is my first fic for the 9-1-1 fandom, I appreciate all critiques!

Prompt received:  “Hey. I noticed that you said you enjoy writing song fics. Could you write one based off of the song Golf on TV by Lennon Stella? Could you make it Madney centric?” (From @maddiehans)

Inspiration: The parts of this song that stand out to me are the themes of healing from past relationships, being confused at how things are in a new relationship because of previous learning experiences, and being confused about people’s tendencies. I took these three themes and tried to incorporate them into this fic!

Lyric: “Some people think it's supposed to hurt/Like it couldn't be real/If it's putting you first/But some people watch golf on TV/And neither of those things make sense to me”

Word Count: 1740

Cross-posted on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23604478

Dating Doug had taught Maddie a number of things. First, chivalry was dead - so there was no need to expect any kind gestures from her husband. Every gift or minuscule kindness Doug gave came with conditions, adding up to a score Maddie could never repay even if she dedicated a lifetime to doing so. There was also no room for Maddie to shine. Instead, in public she became the figure that stood behind Doug, hiding behind his shadow because that was where he made her feel as though she belonged. Due to this, Maddie had spent a good portion of her adulthood trying to shrink herself. The goal always became to hide, to disappear, to avoid any reason for punishment.

But then she met Howard.

It'd be a cliche to say everything changed, because it didn't really. Maddie still had remnants of the girl Doug had shaped her to be, but her growth was undeniable. She was attempting every day to learn her worth, and a lot of that was because of Howard’s encouragement. 

Dating Howard forced Maddie to confront the pieces of her identity left behind after Doug. The way Howard insisted on opening her car door for her at her every entrance and exit confronted the belief that had been instilled in her that she wasn't allowed to have others put her before themselves. The way Howard seemed to only have eyes for her and refuse interest in women who made advances on him when they went out to karaoke made her wonder how Howard didn't find interest in having multiple partners, because prior to their marriage (and suspicions and threats during) Doug had always expressed interest in other women, pointing out the flaws in which Maddie didn't match up to his standards. The way Howard showed her off in public didn't make her feel like a piece of property being owned, but rather Howard showed her off with a pride and adoration that left Maddie floored. There was no reason or opportunity to hide when she was with Howard, and she wasn’t used to the spotlight after years of walking in Doug’s shadow. 

Every aspect of dating the man known by the 118 as 'Chimney' was in direct opposition with everything Maddie had learned about love. There was a kindness, a patience, and a sense of equal footing and stability that were never present previously in her life. Howard never raised his hand (he hardly ever even raised his voice), he didn't treat everyday gestures as an constant adding score that had to be re-payed, he never pressured her many boundaries and treated the progression of their relationship with such patience, and he treated every person he met with endless compassion.

Maddie finds herself overwhelmed sometimes, and unable to fully express the honesty of the feelings she has for Chimney, even when she knows those indescribable feelings are reciprocated. These emotions were too foreign for her to find the words to properly describe, and she didn't want to use the kneejerk terms she'd used to defend herself in the past from her abusive husband. Doug always told her that a lesser man than himself would have left Maddie a long time ago because of her mannerisms. Yet, throughout everything, Chimney remained. It puzzles her on the best of days. There is a part of her that's been ingrained to feel unworthy of Chimney's love.

The intensity of these differences and her own feelings catches her off guard some days more than others. Like today.

Maddie had come over in the evening for their regular weekly date night. It was too easy to remember the nights that Maddie had previously spent alone slaving in front of a stove, struggling to make a quality dinner before Doug came home - but those nights were being rewritten in real time as Maddie and Chimney split the work of preparing dinner while recounting their work days and cracking jokes. There were no worries about the mess on the counters, or if the final outcome tasted less than spectacular. It was about time spent together, and there was nothing Maddie loved more than her time with Howard.

After dinner, the two of them traveled to the couch. Before they moved, Chimney had grabbed two glasses and a wine bottle from his cupboard. As he sat down, he looked over at Maddie with one hand under the bottle and another behind its neck, showing it off with a signature smile. "I figured we'd end the night with your favorite white wine," he stated, before attempting to pull out the cork.

Maddie attempted to tell him that pulling it out wasn't going to work, but was cut off by her own giggles. The cork remained stubbornly in place, certainly not for a lack of effort on Chim's part. She loved how tough Chimney was, but even his strength was no match for the task at hand.

He hung his head in defeat, and with a small laugh said "My apologies Maddie, I'm going to have to grab the corkscrew from the kitchen."

While Chimney rummaged in the kitchen, Maddie turned her eyes to the television. The television had been left on some sports channel since her arrival, possibly long before. The muffled sportscasters had been the soundtrack to their night, but the volume was so soft that Maddie had muted it in her mind during their previous conversations. "I didn't know you liked golf?" She questioned, not taking her eyes off the screen. 

"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot that was on. I like watching the tournaments sometimes," Chimney lightly shouted from the kitchen, his voice just raised enough to reach across the distance without booming in the small square footage of the apartment.

Maddie pursed her lips. "Have you ever played yourself?"

Rounding the corner of the couch, he stepped in front of the coffee table to be able to pour the wine. "God no," he laughed. "This is a sport best left to professionals, I'd probably let go of the club mid-swing and cause an injury."

"But you still like to watch it?" Maddie questions.

Placing the bottle down, he wipes his hands on his dress pants before moving to sit down. It was endearing to Maddie how nervous he still felt around her, wanting to impress her, oblivious to how much he impresses her every minute just with his presence. "I know a lot of people think it is boring, but these guys sometimes play in grueling weather conditions for hours on end," Chimney explains while passing Maddie her filled glass. "The game is so competitive, every shot is crucial. Sometimes the players hit the bunker or the water, and that sucks. But, I think it's fascinating how they pull themselves out of their heads and shake it off. They continue to aim for that coveted hole in one. There is no greater excitement than that."

Maddie sipped her drink longingly, fascinated how this man can conceptualize such a deep life message out of what she considered to be one of the most boring games imaginable. "That's really beautiful Howie."

"We don't have to stay on it though-" Chimney started, leaning forward to grab the remote.

"-No, if you want to we can watch it-" Maddie interrupted, shifting herself to lean into his side as he leaned back again. She slotted herself under his arm, looping one of her own around his waist as she pillowed her head on his chest.

"-I don't want you to watch anything you don't want to watch," Chimney finishes with passion, passing the remote with a light grip over to Maddie.

Maddie couldn't help but tense. There had been nights with Doug where she'd criticized his viewing choices for the night, and ended up with a remote thrown at her temple in retaliation. The instances where she had gotten to choose their entertainment choice for the night were few and far between.

But as she looked up at Chim with confusion on her face, she realized while looking into Chim's eyes that his words and gesture were genuine. Maddie could only guess that the look in his eyes was adoration, still not having enough experience to trustingly label it as such. Chim's vocal tone and subtle handover of the remote weren't vicious in the way Doug's had often been. Instead, by saying that Maddie shouldn't watch something she didn't want to, what he was really saying was more generalized - he was saying you shouldn't be forced to do anything you don't want to.

And that's the true difference isn't it? Maddie is working hard on her recovery, but the hardest thing has been learning to ask for what she wants. She's spent so long being submissive to others that she's forgotten how to ask or take from others. Maddie knows that Chimney knows this, and probably knew it before even she could acknowledge that part of herself.

The truth is that Maddie does know what she wants. Pushing aside the selfishness and the realization that her growth does involve leaving the guilt her younger self would feel for taking what she wants behind, Maddie slowly pushes upwards to steal a kiss on his lips. She focuses on nothing else but cherishing the moment, while simultaneously breathing all the trust she has for Chimney into the kiss.

"The game is almost over anyway, we'll switch it after," Maddie compromises when they break. As she sinks back into his side, Chim slowly brushes one of her curls over her ear.

His classic smirk breaks across his face at her antics, knowing she wants to appease him as much as he wants to treasure her. "Sounds like a plan.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After the night is through - there are two things Maddie still cannot understand about the men who have been in her life. With Doug, she cannot comprehend what part of him thought it would be okay to treat Maddie the way he did. With Chimney, she cannot comprehend why the man prefers to watch golf in his free time.

What she can understand is which of these issues she'd rather have to deal with, and which man she'd rather have by her side. This was the next chapter in Maddie’s fresh start, and if Chimney could put up with the remnants of her trauma - she could put up with his choice of television, regardless of how boring.

[kyndaris]

A Tangled Web of Complex Mystery

Though I had purchased the game eons ago, it was not until quite recently that I found the time to slowly go through the backlog of games that I had purchased cheaply on various online stores. This one happened to be on Good Old Games (GOG), but I have an impressive list that spans both Steam and Epic Game Store. After hearing several glowing reviews and urged on by my own innate curiosity when it came to solving mysteries, I started up Return of the Obra Dinn. Being a connoisseur of problem-solving titles, with a deep love of crime, it made sense for me to try my hand at playing detective. After all, I have always prided myself on being observant and great at deducing the facts of the matter. In fact, during my high school years, I always thought of myself to be the next Sherlock Holmes. Barring that, I felt I would have been a great Kudo Shinichi/ Edogawa Conan with my excellent reasoning and analytical mind.

Return of the Obra Dinn puts players into the role of an insurance adjuster as they try to figure out what happened to the crew and passengers of the Obra Dinn, a ghost ship that mysteriously returned to port after missing for several years. Equipped with a journal from Henry Evans and a strange device that allows a person to review the events of the past, I started to try and piece together the events of the game.

The tutorial chapter of the game starts from the end. Though the scenes shown are frozen in time and the dialogue is sparse, it was quite easy to deduce what had happened. Almost immediately, I had identified the Captain. After beating down the remaining crew members that had decided to mutiny, he took his own life in despair. Most revealing, though, was the name “Isabela,” which helped immensely in identifying two characters: the Captain’s wife and the First Mate.

From humble beginnings, however, the story of the Obra Dinn took a much more dramatic turn. Suddenly, I was confronted by a battle at sea. The chapter was titled: The Doom and it was easy to see why. Tentacles rent the air, tossing crewmen overboard. Many were crushed on the gunner’s deck and others were torn asunder. This was where some of the limited choices proved a little frustrating. The depictions of their deaths oft times did not seem to match well with the verbs employed. In fact, I often wished that there was an option to say that a crew member died of blood loss or allowed me to be more specific in terms of their death. Having to say that ‘Jim Doe’ was killed by a sword from ‘Benjamin Smith’ did not fully capture the magnitude and accuracy of what had actually happened. In fact, ‘Jim Doe’ had his leg cut off by ‘Benjamin Smith’ because of reasons X, Y and Z. He thus died of blood loss in the arms of the First Mate. 

I remember reading a few forums that said some players wished for the option: they died of stupidity. After playing through the chapters, I could see why. The options available also proved finicky. As did some of the names for a few of the crew members. In the end, though, I managed to brute force my way through a couple by keeping two answers that I knew to be approximately correct and then simply changing the names.

My worst enemy, though, were my own preconceptions. For some reason, I thought the Persian was Indian. There was a small part of me that niggled at the fact that he might perhaps be of a different descent, but it was only after I searched for the answer, to confirm my deductions, that I realised that I had been blinded by my own prejudices and current perception of cultures. For some reason, I assumed the man wearing a turban was of Sikh religion, forgetting that this was set in the 1800s and that there were other ethnic groups that also used such head-wear.

There were also several moments that I googled certain words: knowing that they were not English. In this way, I was able to ascertain the identity of a few more crew members. Accents also proved important. And while I had thought to use the Formosan language to my advantage, I found to my dismay that it wasn’t all Mandarin. A search on the Steam forums revealed that it was pieces of Taiwanese Hokkien. These small touches helped heighten the authenticity of the world in a way not many other games have. 

Seeing the narrative of Return of Obra Dinn play out and figuring out what had happened served to be a delightful romp. While my first few hours gave me some very mild motion sickness, I was able to power through by constantly turning my attention away from the screen. I also liked how the game also encouraged use of one’s intuition and allowed me to make educated guesses without much punishment. It was actually quite gratifying seeing my few leaps in logic land when the game confirmed my suspicions.

But the mysteries did not end there. From Return of the Obra Dinn, I moved on to Kingdom Hearts 3. With the drop of the recent DLC Re: Mind, many players were rewarded with several answers to several jaw dropping and head scratching plot holes. Like Xion’s random appearance near the end, did Sora save Kairi and what really happened when Roxas just fell from the sky. I mean, thank goodness there was some more cutscenes to show Kairi being a bit more badass before she was summarily fridged crystallised. 

It also gave us new questions to puzzle over. Like: what is going on with Yozora? Is Tetsuya Nomura really that salty about Versus XIII? How does this all tie into Sora and the new battle with the Lost Masters?

WHO IS THE MASTER OF MASTERS?

AND...WHY WERE OUR BELOVED FINAL FANTASY CHARACTERS GIVEN ONLY A MINUTE OR SO OF SCREEN TIME?

Also, am I just supposed to accept that the pairings are: Sora x Kairi, Riku x Namine and Roxas x Xion? I mean, I will. Gladly. But please let us see how Riku and Namine fell in love. Also, how does Xion even work? Is she past Xion? Does that mean her heart, technically, needs to travel back in time to 358/2 Days? Or can she just blissfully live out her life in the future that is Kingdom Hearts 3? 

Even though I love Kingdom Hearts with all my heart, I can’t help but find myself a little confused at where the series is going. Til then, I’ll try to delve down deeper and figure out what chaos Nomura has planned for us next.

[jekkiefan]

I got tagged in @alexprompts prompt of the week: Tempting Fate

The characters are my own, and a part of a much larger story. I also ramble at the end.

Summary: In which two brothers go into a forest they were told not to go into.

“Now sit down and listen. It’s very important for you to remember this.

“Once upon a time, not many years ago, lived a clever, dark-haired scholar. He traveled far and wide to study every subject known to man. And on his travels he happened to stop in a village named--”

“Corsinby!” The two boys groaned.

The maid cleared her throat and began again. “He stopped here in Corsinby to see the king’s great library. Then suddenly the ground shook and the sky went black as a storm thundered over our village.” The maid’s tone changed into something more grave. “It was the terrible Dead Witch. As tall as a tree and made all of bones, her appearance is as horrid as her twisted soul. With ease she killed the king and claimed the castle. Now the scholar, having seen many a strange thing in this world, was not frightened by the Dead Witch.”

“But,” one of the boys interrupted, “the world can’t be that scary. I’d be very scared if I saw a lady made of bones.”

“Rory, have you seen the world outside Corsinby?” The maid said.

The boy shook his head.

“Well, it is very strange out there. Now back to the story. The very true story.

“The scholar stood before the Dead Witch and tried to make her leave. But the Dead Witch, being even more clever than the scholar, gave him an offer. He could read every book in the king’s library in exchange for his heart. And the scholar, who put knowledge about all else, accepted. With that she took his heart, and hid it in the castle. The scholar became almost inhuman. He had no will of his own, and only did as the Dead Witch told him. She never let him travel far from the castle grounds. And they say he only comes into Corsinby to steal children, much like yourselves, and bring them back to the Dead Witch to--”

“Eat their souls,” the other boy said unsurprised.

The maid continued on like the boy had never spoke. “So if you find yourselves in the Divide,” she pointed to the forest looming just outside their window, “you must never trust a word she says. No matter how clever you are, you can never outwit the Dead Witch. She will do anything to have your soul. Remember Dugan?”

The boys nodded.

“You don’t want to end up like him. All lost in his own mind. Do you?”

The boys shook their heads.

“Good!” The maid stood up from her chair and stretched. “Now remember, don’t go into the Divide, alright?”

Again they nodded with smiles on their faces.

“Now go outside and have fun.”

The boys bolted out the door. The sound of dirt grinding under their feet overpowered the distant nagging of the maid. They ran to the little stable where they kept all of their outside toys.

“Clancy,” said Rory holding two wooden sticks, “wanna play swords?”

The boy named Clancy shook his head. “I wanna play stick-and-ball.”

Rory considered this for a moment before replying. “Only if I get the painted stick.”

“But I was the one who found it last week.” “But, Clancy!” Rory groaned. “I never got to play with it yet.”

Clancy sighed, “Alright. But just this once!”

Together the boys set up their game and began to play. Hearts thumped fast and smiling cheeks turned pink as they ran around the yard. The clatter of wood and playful shouts rushed in the wind around them. Clancy ran circles around Rory, who kept tripping over his own wooden stick. There was an opening and Rory took it. He whacked the ball, sending it high in the air, and into the wall of trees.

They stood in front of the towering Divide.

“It couldn’t have gone far,” Clancy said with a small voice.

Rory opened his mouth to say something contrary.

“I’ll get it!” Clancy dashed into the green.

“Hey! Stop!”

“No!”

Rory ran after. “But I’m the other brother! Father said you have to listen to me!”

But Clancy was too far into the shadow of the Divide to hear him.

Rory searched for his brother and found him minutes later. He was balancing on a fallen tree. The branches broken long ago from the impact.

“You hit that ball farther than I thought.” Clancy tried to kick one of the small branches off. He wasn’t successful.

“What about the Dead Witch or the scholar?”

Clancy shrugged. “You know that story’s not true. The maid only told us that so we wouldn’t get eaten by wolves or bears.”

“Wolves and bears are still bad!”

“I don’t see any.” Clancy jumped off the tree and began to walked away.

Rory huffed at his brother.

“You can keep lookout, but I kinda like it here. It’s quiet and huge! We could play pretend for hours in here.”

Rory looked around at the intertwined branches of trees that surrounded them. The leaf-covered ground was still and welcoming, and the air smelled of peaceful life. He could see he and his brother playing knights among the mossy bark. Rory couldn’t help but smile at the thought.

A sharp snap, and a low growl came from behind.

Rory froze, but Clancy slowly turned his head.

Only white fangs were viable in the green dark.

Clancy grabbed his brother and made an attempt to run. He would have gotten far if Clancy hadn't tripped on his petrified sibling. They fell with a thud that knocked out most of their senses. Both boys looked just in time to see the snarling wolf stalk closer. And also just in time to see the same wolf get hit by a rock.

The wolf looked for it’s attacker. Just then a screeching yell came at it with a branch. Frightened by this entrance alone, the wolf fled the scene. The boys were alone with this…

Girl.

A little girl saved them from the jaws of the wolf. Her hair was messy like a bush, and brown like the earth. She looked like she had been birthed from the forest, like it was her home. The girl looked at them and said, “Did he hurt you?”

The boys shook their heads.

“Good!” Then she smiled excitedly. “You’re welcome!”

“Th-thank you,” Rory stammered.

Clancy sat up. “Who are you?”

“My name’s Siofra. I never met strangers before. But my dad talks about them all the time.”

“You live her?” Clancy said puzzled.

She nodded her head enthusiastically.

Now Rory rose to his feet. “I never heard of people living in these woods.”

Siofra shrugged. “Well I do.”

“How did you scare that wolf away?” Rory said looking at the rock.

“You just gotta make a lot of noise, I guess.”

“You guess?” the boys questioned.

She swatted a bug with the branch still in her hand. “Well it was my first time fighting a wolf.”

“I wish my mom and father would let me fight wolves.” Clancy kicked the rock Siofra had thrown.

“My mum and dad don’t let me fight wolves either.” She furrowed her brows and said seriously, “Don’t tell them I saved you.”

Both the boys agreed not to tell anyone about the wolf.

Clancy began to remember the reason for their journey. “Have you seen a ball? My brother and I were playing with it.”

“No,” She shrugged.

“Oh.”

“Do you wanna play with me instead? We can catch squirrels or play pretend.” She beamed from ear to ear, like a child seeing their first snow.

The two brothers looked at each other for permission.

Rory turned to Siofra. “Sounds fun. What story do you want to play pretend?”

As Siofra was thinking, Clancy blurted out “The Dead Witch and the scholar!”

“Who?” Siofra tilted her head.

“You don’t know the story?” Clancy crossed his arms, feeling a little happy that he knew something she didn’t. “It’s about a scholar who has his heart taken by the Dead Witch. And she eats the souls of children.”

Siofra giggled. “She sounds kinda scary. I like her.”

“What!” Clancy exclaimed. “She’s evil!”

“Maybe we can chose a different story,” Rory recommended.

“Like the two sisters!” Siofra clapped her hands. “It’s about how a nice sister is killed by her evil sister, and she gets turned into a magic harp.”

Rory looked horrified.

“Are there any knights?” Clancy asked.

“Just one. He marries the evil sister.”

Clancy seized a stick. “I call playing the knight! You can be the nice sister.”

“But I don’t want to play the evil sister.” Rory put his hands on his hips.

“I’ll be the evil sister.” Siofra then put on a condescending face that was rather convincing for a child. “You can be the minstrel. And this,” she picked up a forked stick, “can be the nice sister. She doesn’t do much once she’s a harp, so it’s okay.”

Rory sighed and decided to play the minstrel.

Together they played this game for hours. Their imagination molded the tale into something all their own. Soon the minstrel was the knight’s long lost brother who wanted to be king. After the harp played it’s song the evil sister banned all music from the kingdom and turned the harp into a swan. However Clancy thought that the evil sister shouldn’t be able to do magic. But Siofra defended her choice on the grounds that it was fun. And Rory saw the sky had changed from daytime blue into evening purple.

“Maybe we can play this tomorrow?” He offered.

Both Siofra and Clancy looked at each other, the flames of an oncoming argument dying. “Sure!”

“If we get our chores done early we can come midday,” Clancy said.

“Alright.” Siofra began to happily bounce away. “See you tomorrow, Rory and Clancy!”

The boys waved as she faded into the woods. They then made their way back home, hoping that their mother wouldn’t be upset with them for being go for so long.

Siofra weaved around the ancient trees and hopped over moss-covered tree limbs. Evening light trickled through the leaves as she made her way to a large clearing. In the middle of the a rolling field of flowering grass was a castle almost hidden in the mist.

And there was a figure.

As tall as a tree and made of bones. She was dressed in black and gold with jewels decorating her ivory body. It was the Dead Witch.

“Mum!” Siofra called.

The Dead Witch turned her head to Siofra. “There you are! Where have you been? I hope you haven’t been playing in the woods.”

“I haven’t, Mum,” Siofra lied. “There’s wolves in there.” She hugged the skeletal woman’s legs.

The Dead Witch laughed. She ran her fingers through the girl’s hair, like a spider tending to her delicate web. “Let’s find your father now. He’s looking for you on the north side.”

Siofra happily took her mother’s hand.

~The end~

Well that was a lot of fun. Hopefully it makes sense. This ended up being longer than I anticipated. But if you have questions about these characters feel free to ask me.

Fun fact the story of the two sisters is based off of this song. It’s actually a really old song that has many versions, but this is my favorite one.

[movieexpert1978]

Upgrade Pt. 3

Another chapter for the story. I’ve been typing away all weekend as I got off of work. Hope you guys enjoy it and please leave some feedback. I’d love to know what you guys think!!!

Pt 3: Elisa learns to be a hunter warrior with Ido. 

Alita battle angle and it’s characters are not my characters. 

The first night Ido and Elisa went out it, they didn’t catch any marks. After a few hours of travelling down dark alleys they went home.

“So are you a doctor or not?” Elisa asks confused as they walk.

“Yes I am a doctor, but when night falls and the insomnia hits I go out as a hunter warrior.” He explains.

“A hunter warrior?”

“Yes or a bounty hunter. We kill marks and collect bounties.” He says. He brings her up to a monitor that shows the data on the current marks.

“Oh…you kill for money.” She says.

“I take the money and use it to make sure the clinic stays open, otherwise it would have closed long ago.” He adds with a sigh.

“Are there others like you…hunter warriors?” She asks.

“Yes, plenty more. Most of them are not as…how should I put it…morally pleasing as I am.” He smirks.

“You mean some just do it for the money?”

“Exactly.”

“What’s in your case?” He kneels down and opens it, showing her all sorts of parts. She watches as he connects some pieces one by one and it forms a giant hammers. “This is my weapon of choice. It’s a rocket hammer.” He says proudly. She stares at him puzzled as he holds a trigger down and blue flame bursts out of one end. He swings it to the ground and makes a decent size hole. “It adds more power so I can take care of marks faster.” He explains. He releases the trigger and the flame disappears before he takes it apart and puts it back in the case.

“Why not use a gun?” She asks. He can’t help but burst out laughing.

“Oh my dear girl, guns are out-lawed in Iron city, punishable by death. They don’t want any weapons made that could challenge Zalem in any way. I would have thought you knew that.” He says.

“I never trained with guns.” She says.

“Well that explains it.” He mutters. They go back home and go their separate ways for the night. The next morning Elisa goes out and studies all the marks carefully before she goes around the city to try and find their trail. She has a few leads by the time she comes back before dinner. That night she leads him along and they come up on a team of marks. The three of them are armed and dangerous as they glare at Elisa and Ido.

“You better back away old man and take your little girlfriend here with one.” One of them says flashing a knife. Elisa doesn’t flinch and her eyes change color. The men looked spooked as no cyborg has ever done that before. Before Ido can make a swing Elisa snarls, baring her fangs. The mark with the knife charges at her. Ido watches with both curiosity and fright as he wonders what she will do. He tries to swing the knife at her, but she catches his wrist and breaks it easily making him shout in pain. She grabs the top of his head and her fingertips have turned into claws, which are glow blue, as she swipes his throat. His head cut clean off from his body. She drops the head as the second mark charges. He is more cyborg with mechanical arms as he tries to swing at Elisa. He’s stopped when she grabs his throat, crushing it instantly, before he punches him in the face and send him smashing into a wall. His body cracks and crumbles as he falls over lifeless. The last mark is almost right at Elisa when she catches him. She shoves one arm away as she manages a punch to his face. It doesn’t do the damage she expected as he bleeds blue cyborg. She frowns before she grabs him and shoves him into the stone wall head first, knocking his head clean off.

The fight is over in under three minutes.

“My god.” Ido whispers to himself. She glances over at him.

“Did I do good?” She asks him. He just stares at her for a moment trying to figure out why she said that when it was quite obvious she did.

“You did…amazing.” He says sincerely as he walks up to her.

“Really?” She gasps.

“Yes.” He chuckles.

“Thank you!” She says giving him a smile before she collects herself. Judging by her behavior, he’s sure she wasn’t praised often and probably sent back to her room or something when her training routine was over. They go to the factory to collect the money and go home.

“Here.” Ido says handing her a few credits. She stares at them as if he’s just put a bomb in her hand.

“Why are you giving these to me? Don’t you need them for the clinic?” She says holding them back up to him.

“Yes but you took them down. You earned it.” He says.

“What do I do with it?”

“Whatever you want. You could buy something for yourself or save them. It’s up to you.” He explains gently.

“Oh…ok…thank you Doctor.” She nods.

“You don’t have to keep calling me that.” He smiles. She only nods as she puts the credits on the table and goes to the couch to sleep.

Xxxxxxxx

Another pattern emerges as Elisa goes out in the day time to look for marks and when she finally catches a trail she and Ido go hunting. One night he reluctantly brings Alita along. Even then Elisa is too fast for even Alita to catch up with.

“Now that was cool!” Alita grins when the fight is over.

“Uuhh…thank you.” Elisa says to her as Alita gives her a thumbs up. Not to mention that she was glad Elisa did most of the fighting and Ido didn’t come home all battered and bloody any more. They soon had enough money for things to be comfortable for a little while, but Elisa still went out to walk Iron city anyway. She was just leaving the clinic when a woman with dark hair and elegant clothing walked up to her and she had the mark of Zalem.

“You’re from Zalem!” She gasps coming right up to the woman.

“Who are you!?” She snaps at Elisa in disgust.

“Subject Ten E a.k.a Elisa Prime, humble servant to Nova and Zalem.” Elisa repeats. The woman blinks in surprise as Elisa shows her tattooed 10 E. She stares at it for a moment before she looks up at Elisa studying her.

Ido glances out the window and sees Chiren talking to Elisa. That was not a good sign and he hurries out.

“Chiren.” He calls out as he hurries over to them.

“Let me guess you found her in the scrap yard too?” Chiren says unamused.

“Yes, but Elisa is human. She’s not a cyborg.” He says.

“I know.” Chiren says looking at Ido.

“Elisa this is my ex-wife Chiren.” He says, introducing them.

“Can you get me Zalem?” Elisa asks.

“If I could get back to Zalem I wouldn’t be here.” Chiren states unamused. He can tell her words sting Elisa a little bit, but then she looks back and forth between her and Ido.

“Ex-wife…wait you were on Zalem too?” Elisa asks.

“Have fun.” Chiren smirks before she walks away. Ido suspects she was going to talk to him again about returning to the motorball games, but now that she’s seen Elisa something obviously changed. Chiren knows a lot more about Nova’s activities thanks to Vector. Who knows what kind of things they were making in that lab scientist laboratory they had. Ido guides Elisa back inside.

“Yes I was on Zalem too. Chiren and I were exiled many years ago.” He says.

“Why?”

“I’d rather not talk about it.” He says.

“You displeased Nova.” She frowns.

“So did you.” He nearly snaps at her as he collects himself.

“Hey what’s going on?” Alita says sensing tension.

“Chiren was here.” Ido mutters.

“Oh…you don’t want to be around her. You can’t trust her…or did you not feel that in her energy.” Alita teases waving her hands and making Elisa frown.

“Actually…she felt a little cold now that mention it.” Elisa says.

“I’m not surprised.” Ido sighs. “Look, please just stay away from her. The people she works with…they’re not good people. They’re selfish and only do what’s best for them no matter who they hurt.” He says gravely. Elisa isn’t sure about what to make with his words, so she only nods.

“Hey I see you got some credits. Why don’t I take you to the market to get something?” Alita suggests, happily changing the subject.

“Ok.” She nods and follows Alita out. She’s not really sure what to get for a while as Alita makes suggestions.

“Oooh! Why don’t you get this bag?” She says holding it up. It was a simple black over the shoulder strap back, but it was nice and big and had a lot of pockets. Elisa looks it over. “You have to have something to put your credits in for starters.” She adds encouragingly. Elisa nods in understanding and purchases it.

“Thank you.” Elisa says to her.

“You’re welcome.” She says giving her a big smile.

Xxxxxxxxx

“We have a situation.” Chiren says to Vector.

“And what’s that?” He asks very much uninterested.

“I need to talk to Nova.” She says.

“What…oh come on!” He protests before his eyes turn blue. “And how can I be of assistance Doctor?” Nova says even though it’s Vector’s voice.

“Subject Ten E a.k.a Elisa Prime.”

“Ooh, I see.” He nods.

“Who is she?” Chiren asks. Nova sits at Vector’s computer and starts typing a few things. He puts in a flash drive and after a few minutes he takes it out and hands it to her.

“She was the most promising subject we had. She had spectacular results. She was responding so well to all the training and stresses we subjected her to, but when we started the next stage things went haywire.” Nova says leaning on the desk.

“What did you do? Give her steroids or something?” Chiren smirks, that’s so primitive even for Nova.

“No, we were on the verge of a breakthrough in genetic mutation. We had only altered her DNA in small ways, but this…this was going to change it all completely.” He says.

“I take it she didn’t react to it well.”

“It’s on that drive. All of her files on are that drive.” He explains.

“Do you want me to do anything with her?”

“No, not yet. I want to see what else she does.” He says.

“Anything else?”

“Don’t help her. She’ll come looking for you, but don’t help her. I want to see her out in the wild.” He says before he leaves Vector stumbling around and clutching his head.

“This better be good.” He mutters to Chiren.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

To try and distract her from trying to find Chiren, Ido helped Elisa register as a hunter warrior. When she came out she showed in her ID card and he gave her a proud smile.

“Is it ok I still go out with you?” She asked nervously.

“Of course!” He says wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “You’re always welcome to come with me.” He says as they walk down the steps. “You don’t have to be nervous when you ask me a question. I’m not going to get mad at you. I know you have a lot to learn here.” He says sincerely.

“Thank you.” She says gently.

“Come on, let me show you a place where all the hunter warriors go.” He says. They go to the Kansas bar where some of the other hunter warriors smirk at them, but otherwise leave them be. ‘Oh great…Zapan is here,’ Ido thinks to himself. He does his best to ignore the big shot and orders a drink for the two of them.

“What is this?” She asks looking at the glass.

“It’s whisky…try it.” He says taking a small sip. Elisa copies him and she grimaces at the taste as it burns her throat. Ido can’t help but chuckle. After a moment her throat feels warm and her body seems to tingle a little bit.

“What’s this feeling?”

“It’s called a buzz. People like it a lot and that’s why they drink alcohol, which is what whisky is. You have to be careful though because if you drink too much you’ll get drunk and feel lousy the next morning.” Ido smirks as he’s done that all too often after Chiren left.

“Who says that’s a bad thing doc?” Zapan says coming up behind Elisa. She turns and glares at him.

“Uhhh…Zapan you might want to give her some space.” Ido warns her.

“Got another one from the scrap yard did you?” He smirks with his accent. Elisa looks him over quickly. He’s a total replacement cyborg for starters, wearing black leather pants and boots and not much else. He has a sword on his belt as well. A normal woman might think him rugged and handsome as he spent a lot of money on his face to look so. A piece of metal was on the center of his chin and he had a Mohawk. His metal looked good too and she hadn’t even seen the skull pattern on his back yet, but she didn’t care anyway. “You on a date with the doc here?” He teases.

“No.” She says even though she doesn’t know what a date is, so she show’s her badge.

“Oooh how cute.” He laughs as she tucks it back into her pocket. “And uhhhh…how many people you killed deary?” He mocks getting closer. Ido just frowns, knowing Zapan is going to get it sooner or later.

“I killed three marks on my first hunt with Ido.” She says.

“Wait…oh no!” He laughs. “So you’re the one people are talking about. Is it true that you can grow fangs and smash people into walls?” He jokes waving his arms.

“I don’t know…maybe.” She growls. Her eyes change color and she snarls at him with her fangs bared making Zapan yelp and jump back, falling flat on his ass.

“What the hell?” He gasps.

“Now go away.” She says flashing her claws that are glowing blue. His jaw nearly unhinges as he gets up. Some of the other patrons look at her in shock.

“You sure know how to pick the freaks doc.” Zapan says before he gets up and walks out. Her eyes return to normal and she recognizes the fear in their eyes. She turns away quickly and downs her drink, ignoring the burn it gives her.

“I’m sorry…but can we go now please?” Elisa asks Ido quietly. He nods in understanding. He finishes his drink and tips the bartender before the go home.

“Are you alright?” Ido asks before he goes to his room.

“I’m fine.” She nods quietly. She keeps her back to him as she curls up on the couch. When she hears his bedroom door close she finally allows a few tears to roll down her face.

[procrastinating-story-writer]

Bonds that Bind Us

Chapter Two:

Summary:

Connecting with someone is not necessarily a bond with a significant other, or even a friend, but can be the indefinable - perhaps the rarest and most precious thing in life to find at all.

Donna Lynn Hope

Loki sat puzzled as he observed his 'overseer' as she paced the room she called the sitting area. After Omidah quickly took himself and Thor to his designated floor, she dismissed his brother, told him to get comfortable, pulled out some sort of talking device and ignored him ever since.

Next he couldn't wrap him mind around the fact she was being nice to him or why she didn't seem to be the slightest uncomfortable around his presence, and why she looked excited the first time she looked his way. It was confusing and it made him angry.

Omidah on the other hand was trying to get Fury off the phone as quickly as possible but it seemed that her efforts were futile. She could feel Loki's aura of boredom; this was not how she wanted to leave a first impression (which won't really matter to the royal trickster either way but its the thought that counts at least).

"Pennwinkle are you even listening to me?" She rolled her eyes "what else could I be doing since you just keep talking"

"Don't sass me woman, I can revoke your privileges and have you confined to the tower."

"Do that and I'll tell everyone what happened in Fiji."

"You wouldn't dare!

"Try me boss." She said in a sing song voice.

Fury started grumbling profanities under his breath. "Just keep me informed about your progress." Fury hung up.

Omidah moved the phone as the dial tone came on, watched the screen blankly and gave a small yet audible snarl. "Did that chili eating mother--ass just hang up on me!? I see. Alright Fury, we'll see who has more balls than the other."

Sticking the phone into her pocket, she turned her attention back to Loki. His facial expression was neutral but his eyes showed anger. Just great.

"I'm really sorry about that. My boss just doesn't know when to shut up."

Loki did not answer her. He got up, made his way to the shelves of books and picked out one, then returned to the couch. Omidah smiled at his choice 'William Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice' she loved that one.

"Are you hungry?" Silence

"Is there anything I can get you as you wallow in silence?" More silence.

"Have you always been so reticent? It will do you no good to just sit there and ignore me. I just want to help."

"Then don't mortal. You're very annoying."

"Is that the best insult you got? I already know I'm a mortal wise arse; you can do better than that your lordship. Come on throw another insult." Omidah's voice was dripping with sarcasm and a wide smile was on her face as she looked at Loki.

Loki on the other hand grew angry at her taunt and slammed the book shut.

"What's the matter God of Mischief, no come back? I must say this is a let down. Wuss."

Loki quickly walked towards the annoying female with murderous intent and grabbed her upper arms, lifting her off the ground.

"For the death of Odin, what is your problem you mewling quim!? Do you wish for me to destroy you? Do you have any idea who I am and what I can do to you?"

Omidah continued to smile as she looked into Loki's breathtaking blue-green eyes. Just being elevated at his eye level, she leaned in her face and planted a quick kiss on Loki's nose; giggling as she moved away.

All of Loki's anger vanished and replaced by utter confusion.

The look on Loki's face caused Omidah to burst into a fit of giggles. The sound spreading throughout the room, filling it and caused Loki's heart to do a weird flip but he quickly pushed it aside.

"I'm really sorry, I don't mean to be so happy but its just that, believe it or not, I've always wanted to do that if I ever got the change to meet you.

It's so good to finally say that I can scratch that off my bucket list; kiss the God of mischief on the nose." She said matter of factly.

Loki gave her that 'I-truly-believe-you're-really-dumb' kind of look.

"Now Loki are you hungry? I'm sure you haven't eaten a full course meal in quite some time and I'm happy to cook for you if you'd let me."

Loki just continued to watch the strange girl he was holding, trying to find something, anything, that would reveal if she was playing him for a fool; there was absolutely no way any sane person, who knows of his reputation would be happy to do anything with him. Alas, he could find nothing but pure glee in her hazel eyes.

"Come on Loki, as much as I enjoy looking into your eyes, I too am hungry. So, can you please put me down, lasagna is calling out to me."

Finally able to register her words, he slowly placed her down "What game are you playing mortal?"

Omidah arched a brow at his sudden question "I don't understand the question. If you're referring to why I'm not afraid of you, it's because I'm not."

"But you are aware of the things I've done or of the people I've killed on this pathetic planet, have you not?"

She could hear the irritation in his voice, whether it be from the realization that he is now on said planet he caused havoc or something else entirely, she wasn't sure.

"Yes, I'm fully aware of all that you've done and what you're capable of doing but I can't comprehend what that has to to with, why I can't be nice to you or simply talk to you." Sighing she crossed her arms and gave him her full attention.

"I want you to fully understand something. My world has people in it that has done a lot of bad things to good people, some still continue to do so. I work for an organization that kills those type of people and my hands are stained with the blood of a few.

"Everyone in this tower has killed someone, whether it's to save the lives of people, revenge, brashness and cockiness or in your case trying to concur this world. The reason you're labeled the 'bad guy' its because you chose to be all flashy about it; making yourself a spectacle, parading in front a crowd of people who recorded you and post it around the world and to put the cherry on top the ice cream Sunday, you went and brought an alien army through a large hole in the sky, attacking one of the largest cities in the world." Omidah let out a sigh.

"Look all I'm trying to say is, no one's a saint in this place, we all have our reasons for doing what we do. I just don't want you feel like you're the only screw up. The others may or may not be judgmental towards you and I know you won't give a dam but I want you to know that I'll be looking out for you, Okay?"

Loki snickered "I don't need a mere mortal to look out for me."

"Well you really don't have much of a choice. I'll be looking out for you whether you like it or not, plus you really shouldn't think little of us mortals, we can surprise you. Have you never heard the saying, don't underestimate your opponent? Now if you don't mind, please follow me so I can prepare dinner."

With that she turned on her heels and headed towards the elevator, which opened automatically for her.

Loki stepping in after her, each opposite the other.

"Good evening miss Penwinkle and Mr. Laufeyson, where can I take you."

Omidah smiled "J.A.R.V.I.S, good evening to you too and please call me Omidah, the formality is too much."

"If you wish miss."

"Thank you, will you please take us to the main lounge? I'm going to prepare dinner."

"I see. The others will be quite excited about dinner; would you like me to notify them the moment you've finished?"

"Sure that would be great, thank you."

At the end of the short conversation, they arrived at the desired floor.

"Your stop miss. Have a good evening."

Omidah chuckled realizing he's never going to address her by her first name.

"Thanks a lot JARVIS. Catch you later. Come on Loki, this is going to be so much fun."

Loki scoffed at her enthusiasm as they passed the seating area and headed into the large kitchen.

"I fail to see how cooking is fun. Its a maids' chore if you ask me."

Taking no offense, Omidah tied her hair with chopsticks and put on her apron.

"Just have a seat on the bar stool and here,"

Taking a book from behind her back, she placed it in-front for him. Loki realized it was the same book he took from the shelves earlier. How did she get it without him noticing?

"I've been told you love to read, so I organized for that library to be on your floor and while I prepare dinner this will help you pass the time."

Loki couldn't figure her out; She was strange. Then he saw her remove her footwear and placed them by the door of the kitchen; he was more puzzled.

Omidah saw his puzzled look as she returned back into the kitchen; she chuckled.

"This is something I do when I prepare meals; it warns everyone who walks into the lounge that I'm in the kitchen. I like cooking with no disturbances.....well unless I invite anyone. Now time to get to work."

"Why would you do something so trivial? It makes no sense."

She headed into the pantry and returned to the island, placing the ingredients onto it "as I stated earlier it's to warn the others. I started preparing dinner about two years ago because I strongly believe we here at the tower are a family and family should have home cooked meals."

Loki rolled his eyes and continued to read but still listened on

"So three months after I started cooking, Tony decided to be real jerk. I decided to make chocolate fondue and an assortment of treats in which you can dip into the chocolate; anyways Tony was drunk from the previous day, having thrown one of his extravagant parties. I turn my back for 10 minutes and when I returned Tony was face flat in the fondue, chocolate was splattered all over the kitchen walls, all the assortment s were gobbled down; it was a disaster."

Loki watched as she moved back and forth,

"Oh how wonderful it was to make him pay for wasting rich chocolate but that's a tale for another time"

Loki scoffed, "So do you have anything in particular you like to eat?" She asked.

Loki looked up from his book and watched as she mixed some contents in a bowl, while periodically blowing strands of hair from her face.

"None that you should concern yourself with,"

"Aww come on, I'm curious to know, so that way I can add your preferred dishes to the dinner menu."

Loki didn't like the feeling he was getting when she made that statement; she was showing an genuine interest in him and it felt weird. He decided not to respond to her and continued reading.

A comfortable silence fell between them and the only sound that emanated from the kitchen was the clanking of pots and pans. As some time passed, Loki would periodically glance at her from behind his book, making sure not to get caught.

"Here you go Loki" Omidah said while placing a small plate of chocolate chip cookies in front of him. Loki lowered his book and eyed the cookies with suspicion

"If you think they're poisoned, then think again. I like you, so i have no intentions of harming you in anyway."

Loki ignored what she said to try and subdue the feeling in his chest. He refused to take her words literally; no one cared about him and he had to keep reminding himself of that.

"How did you makes these so fast?"

Omidah smiled "we've been in here for well over an hour now. Dinner is almost done and I'm now preparing to clean up. Plus I tend to bake goodies first before doing the actual cooking."

Loki looked at the cookies and back at Omidah who already turned away to start cleaning up.

Cautiously he picked up one and bit into it. Loki suppressed a groan; he had never eaten a cookie that tasted so divine. The chocolate melted on his tongue, sending a tingling sensations to his taste buds. The texture was soft, fluffy-like but was still solid. It was one satisfying cookie.

Within a matter of minutes the entire plate was cleared and he let out a satisfying sigh. The sound of the timer was set off almost simultaneous and when he looked in Omidah's direction, she was removing dishes from the oven and quickly rushing to set the table.

He was surprised that she cooked so many dishes in such a short period of time. He wondered if they tasted as good as they looked and smelt.

"Hey Loki are you comfortable eating with the others around or would you like to go back to your floor?"

He scoffed "I refuse to dine with incompetent mortals."

Omidah puffed her cheeks like a little child and pouted.

"You're not fun Loki, I really wanted to see how well you work under pressure. Oh well, I'll prepare a plate for you in a few."

Before he could respond to her statement, Tony entered the kitchen with a glass of scotch.

"Hey river Nile, what's cooking good looking?"

"Tony Stark, what have I told you about coming into the kitchen when I'm cooking! Do you want a repeat of what happened the last time you were in here?"

Loki observed the two conversing and how sudden Tony became nervous; beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. Just what did she do to him to cause such a reaction?

"Ah-am I'll just be in the lounge. Sorry Omidah." With that Tony quickly walked out.

Loki continued to observe the young woman as she finished setting the table. He was still trying to figure her out. Being able to analyse someone and tell the type of person they are was a specialty of his but with her it was somewhat difficult.

"Jarvis can you let everyone know that dinner is ready. Thank you."

"Absolutely miss."

Omidah continued to move around the kitchen, ensuring that everything was in order. Tony decided to stick his head through the kitchen door.

"Hey, did I hear something about dinner? Don't mind if I do."

Omidah sighed 'He is a sucker for punishment.' "Sure Tony come on in. Have a seat and wait for the others. I'm going to fix a plate for Loki."

Tony chuckled "let me guess, Reindeer Games thinks we're beneath him and chooses to dine alone."

Loki shot Tony glare and boy if looks could kill, Tony would have dropped dead by the one Loki was giving him now.

Completely ignoring him, Tony moved to the bar and poured himself a drink

"So what's on tonight's menu Omidah?" She smiled

"Egyptian cuisine. Remember I promised everyone I'd try something new every few months...."

Tony nodded "well I decided to cook dishes from my distant home land. I hope you guys like it. Please ask the others to send me their feedback."

Tony looked at her perplexed "wait a minute, aren't you joining us tonight?"

She shook her head as she continued her task "not tonight tin can. I wish to keep Loki company before I start my training."

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew that the mission would cause them to see less of her now that she had to watchman Loki but he wasn't expecting it so soon; he didn't like it.

Omidah laughed at Tony's antics "oh stop being dramatic, sharing is caring. You guys had me all to yourselves for these past few years, now allow me to delegate my time to someone else.

And before you say anything else, I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere, just that you'll see less of me from time to time. So behave and exercise some patience."

Tony walked over to her and ruffled her hair "You're right, just a bit paranoid."

Omidah quickly hugged him "best cousin ever. Thanks tin can."

Removing herself from Tony's embrace she returned to her task. After packing enough food and what she believed would full the Asgardian, packaged everything in a bag.

"All done. Come on Loki we'll eat dinner on your floor. See you later Tony."

Loki watched as she bounced happily out the room before quietly following behind her.

Tony on the other hand was puzzled and quickly pulled out his phone to call the others. There were a few things that needed to be discussed.

[s2he-gamewalkthrough]

Part 7: Visiting Genshitenson

Talking about the attack upgrade system, and furthering the plot. This post is a little bit image-heavy.

If you don’t know what this is about, please refer to this previous post.

[Any new comments by me will be designated by brackets.]

I might as well talk about attack upgrades now, even though it's going to be a pain...

Going back to the 2nd floor, Taiitsu's lab opens up now! Take the door in the center of the room.

If you talk to him two times, Nataku will get an upgrade here. Only Nataku's upgrades are completely "free"--mostly because Taiitsu is Nataku's master. That and the fact that Nataku constantly bullies Taiitsu to make him stronger.

Yay, two stars now! [The highest level you can upgrade attacks to is five stars, but (from my own experience) you are usually only able to upgrade attacks from four to five stars under special conditions.]

You'll get more upgrades for Nataku later on in the story/when he levels up more. Upgrading attacks is highly recommended. It allows you to do more damage, and the attack animation changes too! Which is really pretty cool, considering that this is all on the Wonderswan.

Upgrading Tensho's attacks especially are a must. Trust me, it will make the later boss fights much easier.

Okay, now on to how you can get upgrades for the rest of the characters. Talk to Taiitsu. (As a note, there are times when he won't be in his lab on the 2nd floor--like during plot points.)

Choose the first option when this screen appears:

You'll be led to a screen that looks like this:

[Alright, let me clarify things a bit more here. You’re not actually upgrading a character’s attacks/moves itself--you’re actually upgrading their weapons/paopei... which then upgrades the attacks they use in battle. So I assume that Taiitsu is “upgrading” Hitou (Tensho’s sword) here]

You can only upgrade the weapons/paopei of characters that are currently in your party. Since Nataku already got an upgrade, the only characters we can do upgrades for now is Tensho and Youzen. We'll worry about Youzen in a bit--let's focus on Tensho first, since he's the most important.

Pressing the "a" button while on Tensho's screen (it will always be the first one you are shown when upgrading weapons/paopei), you'll be directed to this screen:

Yeah... you'll need to create a three-code combination before you can upgrade anything. Remember those things I was talking about earlier? The things found in chests and stuff that seemed to serve no purpose? Well, as "payment" for the upgrades, you'll need to use those to make the combinations. From what I can puzzle out, these are essentially different types of “elements”. The numbers on the right indicate how many of each "element” you have. Each of these "elements” (indicated to the left of the numbers) are designated by different Japanese characters--what characters they are, are shown in the first character of the "word." Did... did that make sense?

Here's an example to help you understand what I'm trying to say:

Whenever you select a "element/word" on the big box on the right, the first character will be shown in the small box on the left, and you'll use up one of them each time you make a combination. (I selected the first "element", and you can see the first character of that "word" being used in the little combo box.) Each combination you make uses up three "elements". Even if you get a wrong combination. Yes, that is probably the most annoying feature they put in this game. This is why I suggest you SAVE every time you go to try this out. Otherwise, you'll waste a lot of these trying out combos.

[I’ll try to list as many combos that I know of here, but there appears to be a limited supply of them that you can get easily in the game. So I will only bother to upgrade weapons/paopei for a small pool of characters that I will be using for this particular walkthrough.]

Now you're probably wondering at this point, "How the heck am I supposed to know what combinations to use?!"

Well, if you remember what I said in the first chapter...

[Under the “books” section (sixth item listed on the start menu), you’ll see this screen:]

[If I recall correctly, you collect these hints at possible weapon/paopei combinations as you progress through the game, from treasure chests and events. But unless you know Japanese, putting together combinations can still be pretty hit or miss... so remember to save before every attempt at a weapon upgrade.]

For now, we only have one page, but we'll get more as we go through the game.

Anyway, the LV1 --> 2 indicated at the top show that these will upgrade a character's weapon/paopei from level 1 to level 2.

So let's go and upgrade Hitou, shall we?

The above screencap is the combination needed to upgrade Tensho’s weapon (Hitou).

Also, random English! Select Yes, obviously.

If you get it right, you'll hear a sound and see this sentence:

To stop upgrading, just select the second choice when given the chance:

Yay, now all of Tensho's attacks have two stars!

Youzen is in our group currently, but while his attacks can be upgraded, they can't be upgraded at this point in time. This is because we don't have the right combination listed on the “books” page to use. But anyway, let me just talk about Youzen's upgrades for a bit:

[You’ll notice that he has TWO things to upgrade. That’s because Youzen uses two paopei at this point in the game: Sansentou (the trident thing) and Koutenkun (the white dog thing). Yes, you will need to upgrade different paopei separately. Since different paopei are tied to different attacks, this means that if you only upgrade the Sansentou, only Youzen’s attacks using that paopei will be upgraded. Yes, it can get very tedious and frustrating to upgrade weapons/paopei, especially if a character uses multiple paopei.]

Since we can’t upgrade anymore at this point, I guess we'll have to come back here later... What were we going to do again? Oh yeah! Visiting Genshitenson!

It seems he now lives in some kind of mountain? Before you even get through the entrance of the "dungeon," you're treated to another convo.

When you actually get inside, you'll be treated to this:

Gaaaah, what's with this?! This dungeon is basically one big puzzle... the first one being the most annoying. See, there are tiles all over the floor with numbers. If you've seen this type of gimmick before, then you'll realize that you can only walk on tiles that are either one above or below the current number you're standing on. For example, say you're on a tile that says "4". You'll only be able to go onto a tile that says "5" or "3"... Easy enough, right? Well, it's not so easy when there are this many tiles:

And about half of them are hidden at all times due to the WonderSwan’s small screen size.

My explanation that follows might be a bit confusing, but I’ll try my best. I usually take the left side, but you can take the right side also. (Each side has a stair going down at the end of it, leading to the same floor.)

Also, forgive my crappily drawn arrows. I drew them up a long time ago in Paint.

From the entrance, go up until you come to the split path. Take the left. (I'll only detail the left side--for the sake of my sanity.) Go left two spaces and go down until you're on the "3" tile.

Go left one, and then go all the way down until you touch the wall. Then go as far as you can to the left.

Go up as far as you can, then go right as far as you can.

Go up as far as you can, then take one tile left, one tile up, and one tile to the right. (You'll be on the "5" tile) Go up one, and right one. Then go all the way up to the top wall.

Go left until you land on the second "7" tile, then go down seven tiles. (You should be on the "4" tile)

Go left as far as you can, down one, and left again. From there, just go all the way up and you should reach the stairs.

EUREKA!

Take the stairs down.

You'll find yourself in a room FULL of stairs... Tenshou will have a "WTF?!" moment here.

Compared to the last puzzle, this one's a piece of cake. (And a lot less annoying.)

Since the whole room is full of stairs, just go the spaces without them. Those are the exits. Easy as pie.

Feel free to collect any chests on the way. Also, you can encounter monsters here! At least the game producers were kind enough not to have monster encounters in the room with all the numbers... That would have made it about 5x more annoying.

Since you're in a place with new monsters, you should definitely level up your party. I think getting Tensho up to 14-15 is good. Oh yeah, I probably forgot to mention this before, but you can heal with Tensho's healing move outside of battle too. Just beware of the EP it uses!

There's a whole section of the dungeon which you can sidestep here... Just go straight to this exit:

However, in doing so, you'll miss a lot of goodies. So I'll just take the other exit on the floor to show you what you'll see.

Egads, another number room...

This one is much, much, easier than the first floor puzzle, so I won't bother drawing out the solution. It’s a very small room so even through trial-and-error it shouldn’t take too long to figure out.

After solving the mini-number puzzle, you’ll be shoved into this room:

AUUGH, WE'RE TRAPPED!

...Kidding. You can go through the walls in this "puzzle."

There are two stairs here, one that leads back to the first floor, on the right side of the room:

And one that leads to this room:

More goodies!

...Huh? Who's that guy?

[Looks like one of the Yin’s former soldiers...] I think he says something along the lines of "this is a dead end," or, "I've been lost here for many years,"  or something to that extent. The only thing we can do now is backtrack. (Of course, if you decided to just skip this whole section, then you don't have to worry about backtracking.)

Okay, getting back to the room with all the stairs, and taking the correct exit, you'll get to this room:

(More treasure! Also... this room and the one before with the dead end seem to make some kind of word if you look at the way the walls are structured. Of course, I don't understand Japanese, so I'm no help there...)

More Youkai-senin?!

Let's talk to them and find out who they are/what they're doing here.

(My current party is: Tensho at lv 15, Youzen at lv 20, and Nataku at lv 18. Didn't even bother to go back out to heal, because these guys are pretty easy.)

I remember you! (His name's Ryonou for anyone that cares)

And you! (Kousou)

These were the guys that Kou Hiko and Tenka defeated easily in the anime/manga. Really, really minor characters. Heck, they're so minor, they don't even get their own unique sprites on the overworld!

Anyway, you're quickly shoved into a triple boss fight. (As in, fighting three "bosses" at the same time.) Kohei (the big panda youkai) fights alongside Ryonou and Kousou. Luckily, the boss fights where you have to fight multiple characters are arguably less annoying than ones where you have to fight one single boss... but I'm getting ahead of myself again.

Like I said before, these guys are easy. Just use Tensho's multi-hit attack, Youzen's standard attack, and Nataku's multi-hit attack. Do team /combo attacks if you want, though it's not necessary.

Try killing off Ryonou (the guy in the middle) first, since he tends to heal his other party members like crazy.

Health isn't really that big an issue in this fight... Mainly because Ryonou will mostly be healing his friends, and the other two have pretty bad accuracy. But of course, heal with Tensho or potions when you need to.

After taking those three down, the way to the stairs will be clear. Take it down to see this place:

Hmm, a hidden underground village... It's a pretty nice looking place actually--

Annnnnd this guy crashes straight into you.

ARGH, I remember you!

It's Ryogaku, the freaky doctor guy that Taikoubou and co. (well, more accurately just Nataku) had to fight when going through Cho Koumei's Queen Joker ship.

Ryogaku shoves you aside and rushes past you... rude! Unfortunately, you can't chase after him, but you know that when a guy like that appears anywhere, it's never a good sign...

Going down, you can talk to the two villagers wandering around here. Talk to the second guy a bit farther down.

Keep choosing the second option. I think the guy tries to tell you about his history or something. If you keep choosing the second option, then he'll eventually get fed up and give you an item to make you stop bothering him.

The house near the bottom belongs to this guy:

He appears to be the “mayor” of this village.

Hitou appears to recognize this man, though.

[I initially suspected this man was an older Bukichi, but he appears to be an original character made solely for this game.]

Well, anyway, the next hut thing is a shop where you can buy power up items to equip onto your characters. They increase certain stats, and possibly other things that I haven’t figured out.

Wow, that's pricey... I usually don't bother buying anything here at this point. (You can go back here to buy stuff later, when you have more cash.)

Going left... Hey there, Hakutsuru Doji! Go over and talk to him.

Something seems to have happened to Genshitenson, as hinted in the convo. Hakutsuru moves over so you can enter the hut.

Oh no, Genshitenson's sick in bed! Grrr, it must be the work of that quack scientist Ryogaku...

There's a rather lenghty convo between Genshitenson and Youzen. I think Youzen asks Genshitenson why random youkai-senin that have been houshined already are reappearing again. (Since at the end of the HE manga, Genshitenson was in charge of the houshined souls...)

The convo is suddenly interrupted by one of Dakki's sisters, Ou Kijin.

How'd she get past security?! (And does all of Dakki's sisters just suddenly have magical teleportation powers in this game or something? I don't recall them being able to teleport in the manga...)

Tensho puts on his angry face.

And Nataku actually looks surprised for once!

Well, there's a reason why Tensho looks so angry and Nataku looks so surprised; because this

happens...

She looks mighty pleased with herself... Though I wouldn't exactly call killing someone who's already bedridden something that you should be proud of.

Yes, if you haven't figured it out already, Kijin delivers a fatal blow to Genshitenson.

Tensho...

Genshitenson's body vanishes (as per the HE series), so one can only guess that his soul flew to the houshindai... If that thing is still even in use.

And Shinkyohyou enters the scene. Dammit, why do you always have to appear at the worst moments?

He mentions something important and then promptly leaves. (As usual...)

Elsewhere!

Hey, it's the inside of the houshindai!

And it's Kou Hiko!

Then Kibi appears to kidnap Hiko or something.

Anyway, there's another cutscene after this one, but I'll save that for the next chapter, because this one is long enough. 

R.I.P. Genshitenson...

To be continued.

[secretlystephaniebrown]

The Sacrifice Part III: Revelations

One day I will be able to correctly outline so that I don't have to add an extra chapter at the end. This is not that time.

Thanks to everyone who stuck through the last chapter; we're back to a lot... nicer stuff now, I promise.

Anyways, TUCKER POINT OF VIEW TIME! What have the Reds and Blues been up to? Let's find out!

Warnings for: Off-screen torture, past character death, discussions thereof, and some mild horror.

Also on Ao3

The weeks after Sam Locus leaves are… difficult. Tucker’s not afraid to admit that.

They’re all jumpy, angry, and hurt. There’s… a lot to handle. There’s an absence where he should be and the complicated, twisted, hurt feelings that have been left in his wake.

And the feeling of violation, because they had let him into their home, they had trusted him, even after everything he’d done. They’d given him a place, and how had he repaid them?

He’d stolen Tucker’s sword out from under his pillow. And then he’d left.

They’re trying to pretend things are normal, but it’s… not quite right. They all fight more—Sarge has declared war on the Blues at least five times.

And to make matters worse, Grif and Caboose refuse to believe it.

Even with all the evidence, even with the missing pictures, the cleaned out room, the deleted messages, even with Tucker’s sword, they both keep insisting Locus wouldn’t have done that. Grif has even gone so far as to suggest they go after him.

Whatever. Tucker doesn’t care. He’s retired; it’s not like he really needs the sword.

Even though he feels off balance without it.

Months pass. Caboose stops looking for Locus in the showers and under the beds. They don’t hear anything, and they all kind of just… accept that the next time they hear from Locus, it’s gonna be because Kimball’s finally gotten her hands on him and put him on trial. Or they just won’t hear from him ever again.

It’s a nice, normal morning. Grif and Simmons are watching Grifball on the sofa, bickering about something that Tucker doesn’t care about. Wash and Sarge are arguing about the crossword puzzle, and Carolina is helping Tucker in the kitchen. Donut is braiding Caboose’s hair, while Lopez comments on his progress in Spanish, and honestly Tucker isn’t sure where Doc is—he thinks he remembers the guy saying something about frying tomatoes up for breakfast, so he might be in the garden.

And that’s when the TV fizzles and lets out a loud, horrible screech, like nails against a chalkboard. Tucker drops the spatula, clapping his hands over his ears. “What the fuck?”

The image of the players on the Grifball field is gone completely, replaced by an ominous looking black screen, with a single green horizontal line through it.

“What the Samhill is going on—”

Then it starts to speak.

“You could end this, you know.” The voice is artificial, strange, filtered. Absurdly, Tucker is reminded of the way that Locus’ voice sounds when speaking through the filter of his helmet.

“Simmons!” Wash barks.

“It’s not me! It’s some sort of… recording?” Simmons has gotten to the TV, and is fiddling with the wires attached to the receiver. “I don’t know what’s happening!”

“No.” Locus’ voice comes out next, and they all stop flat. The line on the screen jumps with his voice. His voice is unfiltered by his helmet, and there’s something off about it, but Tucker can’t figure out why…

“Let’s try this again,” the voice says, and suddenly, Locus screams.

“Tell me about how the Epsilon A.I. was destroyed.”

There’s a loud crashing noise, and he sees, out of the corner of his eye, that Carolina has broken a coffee mug.

Tucker’s stomach drops, and his head pounds, as Epsilon’s words pound in his head.

Not this time, buddy. He reaches out, and Wash is there, and he grabs onto his shoulder, not even looking at him, just… holding. He told Locus about that, he remembers. It had been a rough night, with Epsilon ripping himself to pieces inside his brain, over and over again, and he couldn’t go to Wash about this, because Wash gets it, but it’s... different.

So instead he had talked it over with Locus, in the kitchen, drinking coffee at three in the morning.

“No.” And Tucker knows why his voice sounds wrong now—he’s in pain, this is… this is…

There’s an awful, loud buzzing sounds, and Locus screams again—louder this time, and it goes on for longer.

“You can end this,” the voice says softly. “Just tell me what I want to know about the Reds and Blues, and this all stops.”

“I said no.”  

“Turn it off!” Tucker yells at Simmons. “Jesus, turn it—”

“I can’t!” Simmons yells. “I can’t tell where it’s coming from, it’s too strong—”

Locus keeps screaming as they argue, and Caboose is just staring at the TV, the broken remains of a chair in front of him. Tucker can’t even be mad—he wants to break a chair too, wants to destroy everything in the fucking kitchen, because what is this, this is—

“Your loyalty is sweet. But we both know it won’t last.”

“It will,” Locus snarls, and his voice is ferocious and angry and protective and—

The recording ends abruptly.

Five seconds later, Grif throws a chair into the TV.

“Damn it!”

“We are going now, right?” Caboose says, his voice very flat and dangerous. It feels wrong to hear Caboose talk like that. “Sam is in trouble, and we need to help him.”

“Caboose…” Tucker says, floundering for words. He wants to puke. He wants to ask Wash if he knows what those noises were, what they were doing to Locus. He wants to pretend that the last few minutes haven’t even happened.

The eggs are burning on the stove, and Tucker can’t even start to make himself care.

“No, we’re not going to rescue him!” Simmons says, his voice high but uncertain. “I mean, he betrayed us… right?”

“He left, Caboose,” Wash says, his expression completely blank. “He made his choice.”

“But he’s our friend!”

“No, he’s not!” Tucker says. He’s rattled, rattled to his core, but he manages to pull himself together. Why the fuck should he care about Locus? The guy left, he fucking left, just like— “Look Caboose, didn’t you fucking pay attention? He left. He didn’t say goodbye! He burned the pictures! And he fucking stole my sword, so he could sell it on the alien black market!”

Caboose just sighs loudly, turning to face him. “Tucker, you are very bad at the finding game. I found your sword ages ago! Sam will be very sad that you could not find it.”

Tucker freezes.

“What?”

“Caboose,” Wash says in that strangled, careful way that he gets when things are very wrong but he doesn’t want them to know about it. “I think you should show us where you found Tucker’s sword.”

Caboose crosses his arms, looking extremely put out. “But that is not how the finding game goes!”

“Yeah,” Grif says, nodding, as if what Caboose said makes perfect sense, “but you see, Tucker’s already lost. So the game’s over, so you need to show us where it is now, so we can call Sam and tell him that he won.”

“Oh!” Caboose lights up. “Then he’ll come home, right?”

Grif hesitates, not looking at the others. “Maybe.”

That’s good enough for Caboose. He immediately charges out of the base, barreling towards the heart of the island.

“Maybe it’s his sword,” Tucker says as they follow Caboose out, after several reminders to him to slow down. “I mean it can’t be mine, right? Why would he just… move it? Maybe he lost his and thought mine would work for him, or he could sell it, or something.” There’s something unpleasantly heavy in his gut. He doesn’t know what to make of this, how to handle this.

Locus had used them to lay low, had gained their trust, used the time to heal, and then gone back to his mercenary life, burning all evidence that he had been there, and stealing Tucker’s sword to fence to shady collectors. That’s what they’d figured out, from reconstructing the remains that he had left behind.

He hadn’t really cared, or if he had, it didn’t mean anything. Tucker had told him where he kept his sword, and then Locus had taken it. And Tucker had been stupid and trusting and thought that he could open up to this guy, just because he also had nightmares about Felix.

“Or,” Grif says, “Maybe bad guys wanted his sword, and like, threatened Locus to get him to bring it to them so they could use it, but he didn’t want them to get it, so he took yours and hid his! To pull one over on the bad guys!”

“They’d have to kill him to get that to work,” Simmons says, and all of them flinch at that. The screams from the audio recording seems to bounce between all of them, louder every second. They’re all tense and upset. None of them have any idea how to handle this, not even Wash and Carolina, who know how to handle everything.

Grif visibly deflates. “Okay, so let’s hope it’s not that.”

Caboose leads them past the meth-shroom fields, past the dinosaur graveyard, and to a cave, tucked between two mountains, guarded by jagged looking rocks. It doesn’t look very big, but Caboose moves between the rocks and then turns a sharp right, and Tucker realizes it’s basically a full-on cavern, hidden in plain sight.

And sure enough, perched carefully on a flat, smooth grey rock that resembles a bench, is Tucker’s sword.

It’s definitely his, not Locus’. After all these years, Tucker knows his sword. He knows the nicks and imperfections of it and the way it sits in his hand just right. The weight of Locus’ sword is different; just a little off, the grip doesn’t fit in his hand correctly. Tucker had grabbed it from Locus a few times, as a joke or during sparring, and he knows, even before he flicks his wrist in just the right way… Locus stole Tucker’s sword from under his pillow, only to hide it in a cave.

The sword springs to life in his hand, and Tucker should feel relieved more than he is. But there’s a knot of something in his chest. Because now, he has even less understanding about why Locus left.

There had definitely been searches on his computer about the value of the swords. Simmons had shown the evidence to all of them, nervous and stuttering and not wanting to look at them.

It could have been an accident, but Tucker can’t think of how.

Had Locus… wanted Tucker to think he had stolen it? Why would he do such a thing?

“Wash,” Carolina says, her voice odd and distant. She’s down on one knee, one hand pressed against the dirt floor of the cave. “Someone’s been digging here.”

“Oh, the shovel is in the corner,” Caboose says, sitting on the rock. Looking closer, Tucker can see the lines are too clean, too artificial. Locus must have cut the stone with his sword to make a seat.

This was his place, Tucker realizes. This was… all of them had a little place on the island, just for them. He had a rock up on the cliffs, Wash had clearing that overlooked the sea, Simmons had a room in the basement of the Red Base…

And Locus had hidden his sword here.

It feels like a message; like there’s something that Tucker should know, that there are answers here, just outside of Tucker’s reach.

Tucker goes to get more shovels from Blue Base, because if Locus has buried anything, Tucker is going to help them find it.

It doesn’t take too long for them to excavate the floor of the cave. But what they find makes Tucker sick to his stomach, because it’s not what he expected at all.

Somehow, because it’s Locus, Tucker had expected… buried treasure, or maybe a body, or something dark and sinister. Maybe even a carved stone tablet with an explanation, because Locus is dramatic as fuck like that, and totally would.

But he didn’t expect this.

It’s everything that’s missing from the base, or at least most of it. Locus had buried his life, not destroyed it like Tucker and the others had assumed.

“Fuck,” Grif calls, stopping Tucker from finishing his thought. He’s standing on the edge of the hole. He hadn’t helped, of course, instead making digging noises with his mouth while sitting on Locus’ bench, but he’s been watching the whole thing with an expression that Tucker can’t quite place.

Grif jumps into the hole, which delights Donut inordinately, and grabs a large, heavy duty, black box. He pulls it towards him, and opens it.

“That was locked,” Carolina says, leaning against her shovel. She’s streaked with sweat like the rest of them, but her eyes are sharply focused on Grif.

“Locus’ code for everything is 2-4-1-1-0,” Grif says absently, and Tucker really wants to know that story. Grif and Locus’ friendship is something that he never quite managed to understand, but how the hell had Grif managed to learn Locus’ lock code? “Guys. He buried his guns.”

Tucker stops cold, as does everyone else. They all look at each other, trying to process what they’ve just heard, and Tucker has no idea where even to begin.

“So,” Carolina drawls, almost casually, but her spine is ramrod straight and her mouth is a thin, dangerous line. “I think we can safely say he didn’t leave to do mercenary work.”

“He didn’t take Tucker’s sword, or his other weapons,” Wash says. He opened one of the other containers and holds Locus’ old tea mug in his hands. “So why did he leave?”

“To protect us,” Grif snaps. “Didn’t you guys listen? They were asking him questions about us. He must have figured out that we were in trouble and was… fucking scared they’d use him or something, so he ran, so we wouldn’t get hurt.”

“We don’t know how long they’ve had him,” Simmons points out. “For all we know, they just randomly captured him.”

“And asked him questions about us? We haven’t exactly been telling people that he’s our friend!”

“He’s not,” Tucker mutters, but it’s half-hearted.

“Bullshit,” Grif snaps. “Don’t you guys get it? He didn’t betray us; he did this to protect us.”

“Oh come off it,” Tucker scoffs, walking over to Wash to look through the box where the mug had been in. In it is every weird flavor of tea that Doc had bought for him. Even the ones that Tucker knew Locus had hated, even the ones that had smelled like gasoline and tasted like ass. He had kept them all and buried them in this box. “If we were in danger, why wouldn’t he just tell us?”

“Fuck if I know! But he’s somewhere, being tortured for information about us. He’s our friend, and he’s being hurt, and we need to help him!” Grif can move quickly when he wants to, and he’s right up in Tucker’s space, arms crossed, something genuinely furious and righteous in Grif’s face. It’s rare to see Grif like this, and Tucker has no idea what to do.

“I’m not saying you’re wrong,” Wash says, stepping between them and using a voice which totally means he thinks Grif is wrong, “But we have no idea where to start looking for him. They didn’t exactly give us an address.”

“Oh, don’t get your cerulean knickers in a twist about that, Agent Washington,” Sarge says. He’d left a while ago, but now he’s back, Donut on one side, Doc on the other. “I called that reporter lady, an’ she called someone who called a fellow who had a third cousin once removed who knows a gal whose roommate knows how to pinpoint the origin of a radio signal.”

Tucker stares at Sarge, and he’s not the only one.

“We can’t let a Red remain in enemy hands!” Sarge says proudly. “I’ve got the location!”

“He’s not a red,” Tucker says automatically. He should point out that Locus left, that he betrayed them, but God, he’s not sure if he believes that anymore, and that’s…

He doesn’t know what to do with that.

His fingers curl around the hilt of his sword.

“Yes,” Caboose agrees with him. “He is a blue.”

“He’s not either,” Wash interrupts.

“Yay neutral!”

“Shut up, Doc. Do we really want to do this?” Wash’s hand is unexpected on Tucker’s shoulder, but it’s not unwelcome. Tucker leans back into the touch, closing his eyes. “We could be walking into a trap.”

None of them say “again”, but they’re all thinking it. Tucker wants to turn to Wash, to put his hands all over Wash’s scars, to remind himself that he’s still there, but instead he does nothing, because the others are around, and Wash is alive…

Because of Locus.

“I want answers,” Tucker hears himself saying. “I don’t care about that guy—” Grif makes a cough that suspiciously sounds like bullshit “—but I want to know what the fuck is going on here.”

“Look,” Simmons says, looking nervous, glancing between Tucker and Grif. “No offense, but like… Locus is scary-good at this stuff. Like… fighting. And not getting caught by the proper authorities.” He clears his throat. “Whoever… this is, they either scared him enough into leaving—”

“To protect us,” Grif says. He’s holding Locus’ sniper rifle in his hands.

“Maybe,” Simmons says, doubtful. “Or at least, they caught him. Chorus couldn’t do that, and his armor isn’t here—”

“It’s not?” Tucker blinks, glancing at the other containers, which he had assumed would contain the infamous Locus armor. But Caboose and Donut have opened all of them. And instead of the familiar helmet, Tucker sees balls of string, glittering keychains, pressed flowers, and weirdly shaped rocks.

They have his weapons—the sniper rifle that Grif is holding, the shotgun he uses in close quarters combat, several combat knives, and a magnum which Tucker has never seen Locus use. But there’s no sword, and there’s no armor.

Tucker can’t figure out what this means.

It would be nice to believe Grif. To be able to put to rest months of hurt.

It would be nice, if he could pretend that the morning, when he’d reached under his pillow to hold his sword, only to find it missing, along with photos on the wall, and Sam Locus… it would be really nice if he could pretend that it had never happened.

It would be nice to pretend that Locus hadn’t wanted to leave.

But Tucker wasn’t sure that he was capable of that.

“It’s probably a trap,” Wash repeats. “Do we really want to walk into that?”

“Oh c’mon Wash!” Donut calls. “If we can’t deal with a whole roomful of guys—”

Wash lets out a small laugh and presses his forehead against the back of Tucker’s head briefly.

“Alright then,” he says. “Let’s go.”

Sarge’s coordinates take them to a civilized planet, in the middle of fucking suburbia.

“This is it?” Tucker says, incredulous. All the houses look identical. There are lawns.  

“Oh! I know what to do!” Caboose gasps. “We need to knock on doors and ask them if they have seen Locus!”

“He’s not a dog, Caboose—”

But Caboose has already bounded up the steps to the door of the nearest house, and is ringing the doorbell excitedly.

“They might have seen something,” Carolina says, sounding vaguely amused. “This was probably a drop point, to throw us off the scent. But we might be able to pick up the trail here.”

Sighing, Tucker moves up the steps to join Caboose.

The door opens, and there is a woman on the other side.

Her hair is the color of steel, trimmed into a severe bob cut. Her face is lined and worn, and she holds herself like Wash does sometimes.

Tired, wary, but ready to fight if need be.

“What do you want?” It’s only then that Tucker realizes that they’re all in full armor, and how that must look to this woman, wearing a neat looking suit.

Wash recovers first, stepping forward. “Sorry to bother you, ma’am. But a friend of ours went missing around here.”

Her eyes soften slightly, and her arm drops down from behind her back, where she’s probably got a pistol tucked. “Do you have a picture? I can’t say I remember anything, but maybe I’ve seen him around.”

Just as Tucker is about to say no, because Locus destroyed their pictures of him, Grif produces one. “Here,” he says, and Tucker realizes with a jolt that Grif must have pilfered one of the pictures which Locus had buried.

Tucker wishes for a moment that he’d thought of it.

It’s a good picture. Caboose had taken it; Caboose has a shockingly good eye for photos. Even though half of his pictures are of weird shit that Tucker can’t understand, usually of random objects in strange focuses.

Caboose calls them his blue period.

The photo is of Sam, and only Sam, cradling his mug of tea, the corners of his eyes crinkled in a smile, although his mouth barely has twitched upwards, responding to some joke of Donut’s that Tucker can’t even remember. The light from the windows pours over him, rich and gold and soft. He looks peaceful, at home with himself for once, his eyes looking right at the camera, his long hair flowing over his shoulder, out of its ponytail.

Grif hands the photo over to her, and the woman immediately gasps. “Sam?”

The picture tumbles from her hands, falling to the ground, and she looks at them with wide, horrified eyes.

“You know him?” Grif demands.

“He was friends with my husband,” she whispers. “He’s—I didn’t even know he was alive.”

“Your husband?” The only friend Locus had that Tucker knows of is Felix. And this woman looks too… normal. And not dead. To be married to Felix.

“Yes. He went missing about ten years ago.” Her face is pale as a sheet. She bends over to pick up the picture of Locus, holding it like its something delicate and precious. “I got his head in the mail three months later.” Tucker flinches. God, he hopes they’re not dealing with the same people. She looks up at all of them. “I’m sorry, how do you know him?”

“We’re… friends,” Wash says. “I’m Washington, this is—”

“You’re the Reds and Blues,” she says, realization dawning on her face. “I’m Megan Wu. You better come inside.”

There are pictures on the walls as Megan leads them in, all of them self-conscious and awkward in their armor. The pictures show three kids, growing up slowly, going from babies to kids to teenagers to adults in the photos, with the newest looking ones showing them in their early twenties.

Megan is in most of these photos, and there’s a man in some of the older ones, but he vanishes once the oldest looking kid looks to be about high school age. There’s a military portrait, and at least one of the photos shows that he’s got a mechanical leg. He’s got an expressive face, with a scar going through one of his eyebrows.

She leads them into the living room, where she picks up one picture from above the mantelpiece, and wordlessly hands it to Tucker, who is standing closest to her. He nearly breaks the frame in shock.

Felix’s face stares out at him, smirking as he sits on the couch that’s in this room. One of his arms is tossed over Locus’ shoulder, while his other arm is around the man from the photos in the hallway, who must be Megan’s husband.

“I haven’t seen Sam in about… ten years or so?” Megan says, sitting down in one of the armchairs, and gestured for them all to do the same. “He didn’t come by often—he was shy. I don’t think he liked kids much. And when Mason left the life, he stopped calling.” She shakes her head. “Honestly, I thought he was dead.”

“The life?” Carolina takes the picture from Tucker, examining it.

“Bounty hunting,” she says wryly. “He went by Siris on that circuit—the three of them were so strange with their code names, especially Sam. Isaac was nearly as bad though.”

“Isaac?” Tucker says, feeling like there’s a blockage in his throat, trying to choke him. He hasn’t seen Felix’s face, outside of his nightmares at least, since before the betrayal. Seeing it now… he’s caught off guard. He feels dizzy, and sits down on another one of the chairs, only just reminding himself to be careful so his armor doesn’t crush it.

“Felix was what he called himself, when it was that sort of business,” she says, her expression strangely blanked. “He was… trouble. More so than Sam.”

“I’m sure,” Wash says. He passes the photo to Grif, barely sparing it a glance.

She looks up, something sharp in her eyes that reminds Tucker of the fact that she had brought a gun to the door. He had spotted the gun when she’d picked up the photo; military issue, and new enough that he doubts it’s her dead husband’s. There’s something dangerous about this woman. “Don’t tell me he’s missing too,” she says. “I’d hate to have to kick you out of here for trying to rescue that son of a bitch.”

“He’s dead,” Tucker says.

Her eyes flicker to him, and he sees a small smile. “Good. Did you do it?”

“Good?” Grif echoes. Doc is looking at the photo now. “I thought this guy was your friend.”

“He was Mason’s friend,” she says, her eyes flickering to Grif. “About three months after Mason left, before he went missing, Isaac came to visit. Without Sam, which was always odd. Those two were practically attached at the hip.” She accepted the photo back from Donut, and stood up to place it on the fireplace mantel again. “They… fought. I’m not sure what about. All I know is that I came home from work and my daughter was crying, because Uncle Isaac and Daddy had been yelling and calling each other names, and Mason wouldn’t talk to me about what had happened.”

Her mouth thins into a line. “He was… different, after that. Jumpy. He thought someone was following him, so one day, he got up and left. He left me a note. Said it was safer this way.” She sat down hard. “Later, I figure out that he’d gone to ground. He had a safehouse, in the city. But it didn’t matter. Whoever it was that killed him,” her voice left it perfectly clear that she didn’t consider that to be a great mystery, “they knew where it was. And three months after he walked out of that door, my oldest wakes up the entire house screaming because she opened a package on our doorstep, with Mason’s head inside.”

“… you think Felix killed him?” Tucker says. He looks up to the picture, and Felix’s grin.

“I know he did,” she snaps.

Tucker glances at Locus in the picture. He looks… young. There’s no hints of silver in his hair and fewer worry lines around his mouth and eyes. The smile on his face seems a bit wider, a bit less cautious, and he’s not flinching away from Felix’s arm like he almost always would when Tucker or the others would touch him. Felix is younger too, but there’s something almost ageless about the way he is. The smile is the same; smarmy and confident and charming.

He wonders why Megan kept the picture, if she thinks Felix killed her husband.

Simmons groans. “Great. If Locus isn’t here, this is a dead end!”

“No,” Wash says softly. “It’s not.” He takes off his helmet. “Ms. Wu. I’m sorry to have to ask you this but… do you know the address for that safe house?”

Her mouth is a thin line as she looks at Wash. Her expression is completely unreadable. “Why do you think he’d be there?”

“Because we were lead here for a reason,” Wash says. “We were sent a… recording, of Locus, and it supposedly originated just outside of your house. And I think they wanted us to hear this story. They wanted us to find you.”

“… it’s been three months since Locus left,” Tucker says, the pieces sliding into place. His stomach churns at the thought of it.

Her eyes turn to him, horrified, and her chin goes up. “He’s the one on the news, isn’t he? Wanted for war crimes on that planet?”

They all look at each other and don’t say anything.

“Who has him?”

Carolina is the one to speak this time. Her body is a stiff line, uncomfortable in this setting, sitting in one of the plush purple armchairs, her arms awkwardly folded in her lap. “We’re not sure.”

Megan gets to her feet, and crosses the room to a coffee table, with a pad of paper and a pen lying on it. She scribbles out an address and holds it out to Tucker. Her handwriting is clear, precise, and large, and the address is not too far from here.

“When you find him,” she says, her voice booking no argument. “Tell him Megan would like a word.”

“You sure you don’t want to come with us?” Tucker asks. He can see the pistol, tucked into the waistband of her skirt still, and the scars on her hands tell him that she’s an old soldier too, even if he hasn’t spotted a picture of her in her uniform yet.

She looks away, and she looks exhausted and old. “I’ve been there once. The things I saw… I’m not going back there. Never.” She sits back down, smoothing out the lines of her skirt. “You should hurry,” she says, her voice distant. “They’re probably keeping an eye on this house, whoever they are. And they might not wait until you’re there to finish things.”

“Yes! We need to go find him!” Caboose says, all excited now. He’s been uncharacteristically silent through all of this, but he grabs Tucker and pulls him towards the door. “Thank you, Missus Megan!”

They all file out of the house, lost in their thoughts.

“So,” Tucker finally says as they pile into the pelican. “Do we think that Locus helped Felix kill that guy?”

“Yes,” Grif says immediately.

“Oh duh.”

“No question.”

“I thought that went without saying.”

Something sour slides into his stomach at that. Tucker knows that Locus has done far worse things than killing an old friend, but…

It’s that old saying, isn’t it? A million is a statistic. Tucker can’t even begin to try to understand the scope of what happened on Chorus. He’s seen the reports, the estimates of damage, of lives lost, and he’s heard Kimball’s speeches about lost culture and progress, but it’s so big, that he can’t quite connect with it.

But there is something personal about this.

He touches his sword again, just to reassure himself that it is there, as Grif starts up the pelican and they fly towards the safehouse.

Tucker takes a deep breath, takes his sword into his hands, and tries to steel himself for whatever it is that he’s about to find, inside of that place.

[taytay4ever]

Amid So Many Stories About Bad Men In The Media, Taylor Swift Strikes Back With ‘Reputation’

In the run-up to her sixth album, Reputation, Taylor Swift has been discussed first as a global brand, with the media analyzing her every machination and whether it has induced her possible “obsolescence,” and then as a musician. But now that this record is finally in the world, let’s start with Swift’s music for a change.

Reputation is a cold, convoluted, often surly record, heavily weighted with overly complicated prog-R&B arrangements, awkward attempts at rapping, and lyrics that underline every reference to Swift’s casual hook-ups and late-night binge-drinking. At the risk of libeling Swift’s usual stable of expensive pop-auteur collaborators — headlined by Max Martin, Shellback, and Jack Antonoff — some of the songs seem almost pasted together, with verses barging indelicately into pre-choruses as tempos shift in jarring fashion. The elegance of previous Swift blockbusters like 2012’s Red and 2014’s 1989 has gone missing.

And yet, Reputation adds up to a fascinating and often moving, self-portrait. On the biggest possible stage, Swift has fearlessly exposed some of her rawest vulnerabilities. For the first time in years, Swift seems like a rather ordinary human being, with all the unattractive flaws and nagging hang-ups that suggests.

As was the case with Reputation‘s bewildering first single, “Look What You Made Me Do,” the album is initially off-putting, as sour and difficult to like as Swift’s previous pop album, the candy-coated retro-pop showcase 1989, was sweet and catchy. Swift is nothing if not a pop-music prodigy, a seasoned hitmaker at age 27 who already displayed preternatural gifts for crafting heart-rending earworms more than a decade ago, at a time when her peers were struggling to write essays on The Great Gatsby (which Swift pointedly references on Reputation) in high school.

Swift’s franchise is creating the types of songs that people like without even trying to like them. And yet Reputation is decidedly not in that tradition — sure enough, the album’s early singles have not captured the public’s imagination the way those undeniable world-beaters of 1989 did. It seems intuitive that this represents a failure on Swift’s part. But then you dwell on this album’s lyrics, which are laced with violent imagery and obsessed with control and score-settling, and all of a sudden the turbulent, herky-jerky music makes more sense.

Reputation doesn’t fail at being likable, because being likable for once doesn’t seem to be Swift’s agenda. Rather, this album succeeds at expressing a litany of deep, intractable resentments by a world-famous pop star who seems alienated from all but a tight circle of trusted confidantes. “Here’s a toast to my real friends,” she crows on the album’s bitterest track, “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things.” You suspect she’s not addressing more than a few people.

Who is Taylor mad at? Who do you got? No specific names are mentioned in the lyrics to Reputation, so instead there are opaque references to “older guys,” “the world,” “what I can’t have,” and “the liars.” But, above all, what haunts Taylor is the proverbial “they” — in “I Did Something Bad,” they are “burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one.” In “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things,” Swift loves her baby because “he ain’t reading what theycall me lately.”

The songs on Reputation don’t necessarily lend themselves to the sort of “Which boyfriend is this one about?” parlor games that people usually play with Taylor Swift albums. The animus instead here feels intangible and existential, which is why Swift’s belated embrace of hip-hop, while artistically tenuous and bound to be viewed cynically by those who believe Swift is an opportunist, is such a crucial development on Reputation.

It’s easy to laugh at Swift’s stilted flow in “…Ready For It?” or puzzle at the ill-advised “street speak” of the chorus. (“I, I, I see how this is gon’ go.”) But the overt feistiness of rap allows Swift to front-load emotions that she has previously kept concealed behind frothy pop hooks and that iconic “Oh, I can’t believe my good fortune!” award-show face. “I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put ’em,” Swift spits in “End Game,” which shoehorns cameos by Future and Ed Sheeran that would seem preordained by a streaming-service algorithm if Swift were more enthusiastic about streaming. (Reputation is not yet available on any streaming platform.)

Swift has written similarly barbed lyrics in the past, of course, but back then there was usually a trace of playfulness. When she refers to herself as “insane” in “Blank Space,” you can sense the self-deprecation and implied eye roll. But Reputation — aside from that stray cat joke in “Gorgeous” — is mirthless. This time, when Swift buries a hatchet, she draws blood.

Swift has been a magnet for criticism lately — some of it fair, much of it not. The media narrative has turned so rapidly against her that it’s almost hard to remember that, for much of her career, Swift was a darling of the press. As late as 2015, the New York Times was still inclined to refer to her as an “underdog,” and there were no shortage of Swift defenders in the press eager to call out perceived slights, whether it was an indie-music site not reviewing 1989 (even as virtually every other outlet on the planet lavished the album with coverage) or the sexism of Ryan Adams covering the album in its entirety.

But nobody sees Swift as an underdog in 2017. Now, she’s an establishment foil for Cardi B, whose scrappy smash “Bodak Yellow” removed “Look What You Made Me Do” from the top of the pop charts after “just” three weeks this fall. “Look What You Made Me Do” has sunk precipitously ever since, along with the followup single “…Ready For It,” which peaked at No. 4.

Certainly, it’s worth noting that these songs haven’t made the impact that singles like “Blank Space” and “Shake It Off” did. But the whispers that Swift is now finished as a pop star, as Spotify-powered rappers storm the charts seems a tad premature, given that Reputation is projected to move an impressive-in-any-era two million units in its first week.

Did anyone really expect Swift to keep on churning out 1989-sized pop bangers in perpetuity? Who faulted Beyoncé when Lemonade — which like Reputation is clearly conceived as an album rather than a playlist of singles — also didn’t produce any lasting chart hits? (The highest charting single from Lemonade, “Formation,” peaked at No. 10. At least Taylor spent the better part of a month at No. 1.)

Here’s a criticism I agree with: Swift should condemn the alt-right cult that reveres her as some sort of blonde Aryan goddess. Her apparent stubbornness on this issue is strange, considering that sending out a press release against Nazis is literally the easiest thing in the world to do. (I suspect she doesn’t deem it necessary to declare her anti-Nazi bonafides, as opposed to being reluctant to anger conservatives, a frequent charge from critics. But letting the controversy linger nonetheless is nonsensical.) However, the larger argument that Swift’s stock as a pop star has slipped because she’s maintained a largely apolitical public persona doesn’t wash.

Swift, like virtually every artist, is a narcissist. And, by and large, that’s why people like her, because when Swift sings about herself, she does it in a way that makes millions of people believe she’s actually singing about them. That is the job of a pop star. This weird insistence that a musician who has previously shown no inclination to be a political commentator must suddenly register her yay-or-nay take on Donald Trump, Black Lives Matter, or Hillary vs. Bernie says more about our displaced reverence for pop stars than it does about Swift’s supposed moral obligations.

Isn’t it possible that Taylor Swift genuinely has nothing to say on these matters? And isn’t that okay? If given the choice between performative wokeness and authentic non-engagement, I’ll take the latter, please. Besides, as we’ve seen demonstrated time and again lately, the personal is political, particularly when it comes to one of Swift’s primary subjects: The power struggles between men and women.

Reputation arrives in the midst of an ongoing moral apocalypse in the entertainment industry, in which sexual harassment and assault have been properly re-contextualized in the popular consciousness as expressions of dominance and humiliation, typically by straight white men over women. Swift herself has been victimized by this power imbalance, by a Colorado radio DJ who groped her during a station visit in 2013, when Swift was 23. (Swift won a civil suit against the DJ this summer.)

It might be hard to conceive of Swift, one of the world’s most famous women, as somehow subordinate to a faceless radio jock. But consider how country radio has suppressed women, or how chart success (which is still enabled greatly by radio airplay) has come to dominate, dubiously, how we determine relevance or even artistic merit in popular music. If the fallout from the Harvey Weinstein scandal has taught us anything, it’s that even famous women can be abused by much less famous but nonetheless well-connected men behind the scenes.

But with Reputation, I sense that Swift is finished with that. In her new songs, Swift always has the upper hand. If anyone is going to get broken, it’s the guy in the equation, who’s typically an older (and therefore patriarchal) figure. (“I’ve been breaking hearts for a long time / And toyin’ with them older guys / just playthings for me to use,” she seethes in the dirge-like “Don’t Blame Me.”) If she does decide to settle down, it’s up to the other person to accept her shortcomings, not the other way around. (“Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me,” she sings on “Dress.”) Either way, she gets to be the dominant one, the person who always gets what she wants, including the last word.

After listening to Reputation, I think I understand why Swift’s been seemingly indifferent about her recent bad PR choices, including her threat, via a lawyer, to sue a blogger who criticized her silence on the white supremacist issue. And I get why she’s retreated from the media to the comfort of her massive cult on Tumblr, an audience inclined to perceive her venting and femme-fatale posturing as cathartic, rather than merely petulant.

If Reputation had a nutgraf, it would be, “Why should I have to explain myself?” To Swift, going through the paces of tending to her “perfect” public image seemingly provokes the most resentment of all, since it only seems to make people expect even more from her. Haven’t they already taken enough?

Uproxx