#I may or may not have replayed it over and over and over-

[coldfanbou]

Kinkcember Day 22: Size Kink

Today, we have actress Park Bo young, getting some extra practice with how her character acts.

Length 1.2K

Park Bo Young X Mreader

Boyoung felt your bulge rub against her as the two of you acted through the sex scene.  Even though you were both wearing modesty garments to protect yourself, she felt your cock through it; she could feel your size. It was making her wet as she felt your strong hands hold her wrists by her head. She wasn’t acting. Boyoung was getting turned on. Her soft moans were real. You kissed her passionately. Boyoung wrapped her legs around your waist, and her tongue lingered in your mouth as you played your part. The moment the director said cut, you pulled back; Boyoung reached forward, wanting to continue before she caught herself and realized the scene was over. “Everyone, we’re taking an hour break. Thank you for your hard work!” The director yells before climbing out of his chair and leaving the sound stage. Some of the stagehands begin cleaning up as you grab bathrobes for you and Boyoung. The young woman puts the bathrobe on and remains seated on the bed as you walk to your dressing room.

Boyoung takes a deep breath and tries to slow her heart rate as the last scene replays in her head. The work she had done with you previously didn’t set her up well for this scene. While she had always liked you, she saw a new side of you that she loved. The strength you showed when you held her down, the way you dominated her with your size, awakened something in her. She stood up slowly and went to your dressing room, wanting to continue the scene but actually performing the act this time.

You head to your dressing room after, trying to relax, when you get a knock on the door. “Who is it?”

“It’s Boyoung!” You walk over to the door and invite your costar inside. “Thanks for letting me in. What do you think about our scenes so far?” She asks, you sitting on your couch.

“I think they’re coming out pretty well. This last one, though… it's a little awkward, isn’t it?” You reply, feeling unsure about your performance in a sex scene.

“No, no! You’re doing great; I could feel everything,” Boyoung curses herself as she realizes what she’s said. “That’s not what I meant, hold on. I just mean that I could feel you putting everything you have into your performance.”

“Ah, that’s what you meant. I was a little worried you could feel me through the modesty garments.” You look down. The modesty garments covered your private areas, but wearing them didn’t give you the most confidence, especially considering your size. “These things are a bit thin, and it makes me a little self-conscious.”

“Ah, you shouldn’t be; you’re perfectly fine,” Boyoung says, patting your chest. “You’re nice and strong in more ways than one. Boyoung purses her lips, considering how to bring up the subject. “I don’t know if you know, but I like to get into my roles. So I’d like to take things a little further.”

“How do you suggest we do that?”

“I want you to fuck me,” Boyoung says bluntly. Throwing caution to the wind, she continues, “I could feel your…cock rubbing against me, and I want to know more about how she would actually react. I need you for this,” Boyoung admits, dropping her robe and removing the modesty garments, bearing her body to you. She steps closer to you, her small hands taking off your modesty garments before reaching for your cock. Her hand can barely wrap around it. Boyoung gulps, mesmerized by your cock; her hand slowly moves from the base to the tip. She brings her other hand to your cock, rubbing the tip against her palm as she squats down. Boyoung was getting excited just holding your cock. “May I?”

You give the small woman a nod; being next to her in the last scene turned you on, and you wanted to fuck her. “Yeah, let’s get more into our roles.” Boyoung squats down, coming face to face with your cock. She gives it a few licks, her small tongue running along the underside before she begins to jerk you off. Boyoung used both hands, amazed at your size. She was getting wetter just thinking about you using it on her. Her mouth barely fit the head of your cock; her lips hollowed as she sucked on it, her tongue licking it like it was a lollipop. Knowing she wouldn’t be able to get it down her throat, Boyoung spit on your cock and spread it around your shaft with her hands, pleasing you as she mentally prepared herself. “I think you’re ready,” She says quietly, 

You picked the small woman up easily, holding onto and squeezing her thighs. You align yourself with her entrance and lower her onto your cock. Boyoung squirms in your arms as her walls wrap around your cock. She groans and whimpers as your cock stretches her small cunt, separating her walls and splitting her in two. You move her along your shaft, slowly taking in more of it until you’re buried inside her. Boyoung bites her lip; she can feel your cock stretching her; her fantasies are being fulfilled as you use her like a toy, moving her along your cock. She clings to you, moaning into your ear about how good it feels to have you inside her. 

“You’re so tight,” you grunt in response, reveling in how her walls flex around your cock as you drive it into her. If Boyoung hadn’t been clinging to you before, she would have needed to know that you moved faster. You were getting into a good rhythm, making her bounce on your cock. The older woman moaned your name and begged you for a kiss. You gave in to her demands; your tongue traced her lips until she allowed you inside. You explored each other's mouths. Boyoung moans in the kiss, arching her back as you thrust deeper into her. You make her shiver as you run your hand down her spine; she moans louder, every touch making her entire body tingle. 

“Oh, fuck, you’re so big. I’m going to cum,” She whines, her walls tightening around you. “I want you to cum inside me. I don’t care what happens. Just fill me up.” Boyoung presses her body against your chest, her moans growing louder as she bounces on your cock. 

Nearing your climax, you hold onto Boyoung’s waist tightly, forcing her up and down your shaft as you thrust into her, crushing her womb. “Oh shit! Yes! Fuck me!” Boyoung cries as you use her more like a toy. Her tongue begins to hang out of her mouth. The woman before you was a far sight from the coworker you know, but it only turns you on more. You continue to fuck Boyoung senseless, pistoning in and out of her until you bury yourself inside her suddenly. You cum rushes inside the small woman, painting her walls white before filling her cunt. You rest Boyoung on your cock, letting her recover from her orgasm. You move over to the couch, setting her down on it before pulling out. “Thank you,” Boyoung mumbles, placing her hand against her cunt and collecting your cum; she sucks on her fingers, a look of lust on her face as she tastes the salty liquid.

A knock on your door alerts the two of you. “We’re going to start filming again! Let’s get going!” One of the staff yells from outside. Boyoung looks at you, worried about her disheveled appearance, but quickly gets dressed and puts on her modesty garments and a bathrobe before walking out. You take an extra minute to clean yourself up before walking out, ready to film more scenes with Boyoung. Any scene that involved the two of you making love would be followed by the actual thing in your dressing room.

[breakyourrxles]

❥between two breaths (m) | 𝟠

𝐬����𝐞𝐞𝐭

↳ Sunwoo states the obvious, a heartfelt talk with Hyemi heals, and your favorite little coffee shop isn't only traversed by you, you're soon to find.

There's always worse news waiting around the corner, however.

kim sunwoo x fem!reader (side lee juyeon x reader) — idol!sunwoo, fan/trainee!reader. forced proximity, forbidden love, friends to lovers, angst, slow burn, idolverse-typical themes regarding; dating, image, public perception, etc. happy ending, plot-heavy!! reader thinks she's nonchalant about it but she rly isn't. smut. [6,1k wc ongoing] cws: heavy themes of wanting-but-can't-having, mild jealousy, explicit sexual content, a little alcohol consumption, dancing on the edge of career suicide, poor decision making because of The Wanting.

❥ masterlist | ao3

Sunwoo shrugs, nonchalant about the whole ordeal. "Well, there's more where that came from, but the having no idea part will at least remain intact."

The performance ends in a flurry of screaming fans and dimming bright lights, and the moment MVNE steps backstage, a gathering of staff come forward to help usher you away and back to your green room.

Sweat clings to your brow, your boots are uncomfortable and there is an unfortunately placed pin in your shirt that has long since come undone and sharply jabbed into the skin of your back. The worst of it has come to an end and you're happy to finally be finished with this; unplugging from the spotlight, shedding yourself of multiple layers of performative solace that realistically—could not be further from the truth.

Humorously now, Hyemi and her misdoings sit so far out of your mind that they barely even seem consequential at all. You steal a glance at her as a stylist helps her out of an ill-fitting coat and it takes you a moment to even remember what it was that you had been upset with her about to begin with. Rather, it has less to do with her, and everything to do with someone else who has seemingly made it his life's mission to cement himself at the center of your own.

As if you don't have enough on your plate already.

It replays in your mind over and over and over again, picking out new details in the aftermath as you sift through what recollection you have managed to maintain. Everything had been a blur leading up to that, during it, and immediately thereafter that it is difficult to even pinpoint a particular start or end. There are only choice seconds; hands on bodies and lips on skin, words spoken only loud enough for the other to hear. Hushed insistences to move forward, to take a plunge, to let go. 

Adrenaline is still rushing through you, though it slowly wanes from your body now that you are finally able to take rest. The day has ultimately come to a close with no other schedules and nothing more being asked of you. When you leave, you may have to acknowledge fans with smiles and waves, but that's easy. By far, the most simplistic ask of you made thus far today.

"Put the television on," Nara says, seated beside you. The majority of her attention is put towards unpinning her hair, but her eyes are cast up towards the screen. "They're up soon."

A member of the staff locates the remote, the screen flashes on, and it comes alive with a VCR beginning to play that you can dimly hear from the room you are now locked inside of.

Just as it comes to completion, Woori flops down onto the couch on your other side and with arms crossed, she glances at you from the corner of her eye.

"Is it strange?" she asks.

You look at her but quickly turn back to watch the television ahead. Music begins to play and, for so many reasons, it's a song that you immediately recognize. How could you not, after all.

"A little bit." Uncomfortably shifting in your seat, you attempt to find an answer to the question that does not implicate you to the person sitting on your other side, yet adequately expresses the way that you feel. Tricky. You say, "I think… all of this is still a little strange to me, the added layer only compounds that."

She hums, perhaps little more to say on the topic given your current company.

With so many people crammed by the exit doors, you're beginning to question whether or not idol groups need to have this many members.

It's bad enough when it's only MVNE trying to make their way somewhere, but when your senior group is also in attendance, space is crushingly limited.

Proper greetings and congratulations are shared among the members, mostly in passing and fairly awkward save for the handful of mixtures that have built a good amount of rapport as a result of content or other such commonalities. For the most part it's strange; a bunch of strangers who should not feel so foreign to one another and yet will remain so for what might be the duration of their working relationship together.

Juyeon, however, is not like that with you.

"Good work out there," he says once he finally makes his way through the crowd and towards you. "I was watching from backstage. I'm not going to take any credit, but you looked incredibly smooth. The audience was practically drooling out there."

"You'd never know that we're practically falling apart back here," you say through a disbelieving laugh, but Juyeon is quick to shake his head and wave the words off.

"It's small. It feels big now because you're so fresh out of the gate that everything is going to feel a little bit like it could be the end of the world, but nobody is going to remember this in a few months. It's a hiccup." Juyeon turns to look behind him and as if fate has ordained it, and immediately locks eyes with a passing by Sunwoo. He reaches out, grabs him by the arm, and yanks him over to join in on the conversation. "This guy got popped for allegedly saying he wanted to keep women as pets, and look! We're all fine."

Sunwoo glares at him, gives a sarcastic sort of mocking laugh and says, "You just love bringing that up, don't you?"

"I do, it's top three favorite Sunwoo moments, you should be proud."

You look at Sunwoo and without a second lost, your eyes lock. His face is fairly expressionless and even still, you can manage to find something wicked lingering in the depths.

"I'll leave you two to it then," Juyeon says. The statement is innocuous enough, but the evident subtext is clear.

With such little time standing between now and the stage, a light sheen of sweat still sits atop the skin of his forehead and his hair lies damply stuck against it. Eyeliner is vaguely smudged and the smokey shadows are mostly intact, but settle messily in creases. Unfortunately, your thoughts begin to wander back to a time not entirely unlike this one, and not so long ago, either. 

"Say something nice about me or I'll start making posts online about how you're a terror to the cafe staff."

You reel a little at the remark, your face twisting into something ugly and absurd. "I'm not a terror to the cafe staff! What are you talking about?"

"I know," he admits with ease. "It doesn't have to be true, I'll just start saying things."

Rolling your eyes, you relent to his ridiculous demands. "You looked good tonight, and you almost made me believe you could pull off a tough guy concept during Maverick, which in and of itself is a nearly impossible feat."

"I can pull it off!" Sunwoo whines. This discussion is far from new to the two of you, a thing you have enjoyed tormenting with despite its falsity for a long time now. "Everyone else thinks I look very cool, you're the only one who thinks—"

"That you look like a dweeb? Yes, well, I always have been a little bit ahead of the curve!"

And though this moment is fun and feels good—like the good and simpler days, even—you cannot help but feel as though you are not alone in enjoying it. Rather, you are more than aware that you are surrounded by your peers as the two of you carry on like this, but attention is far from being granted to you.

That is, except for one person who remains incredibly interested in the carrying on of your circumstances with this man in particular.

You look to your side ever so slightly and catch the watching eye of Woori. She does not make a play to hide the fact, and remains firm in her doing so despite being seen. Sunwoo, late on the pickup, finally realizes that your interest has been pulled from him and follows your line of sight to see what all of the fuss is about. He waves with a smile once he spots her.

"Ever get the feeling that we're the headlining act around here?" he mumbles under his breath.

"She has every right to be concerned." You look at him again, far more pointedly now. "Hell, she has no idea how every right she has."

Sunwoo shrugs, nonchalant about the whole ordeal. "Well, there's more where that came from, but the having no idea part will at least remain intact."

"You're insane."

"And you're high strung," Sunwoo says. He turns himself in such a way that his back is towards Woori and he leans down slightly to quietly utter, "But you did like it. I think your whole oooh, no, we can't do this schtick is really starting to lose steam, bestie."

"Yeah! I wonder why that might be!"

"Oh sure, blame me!"

Urgently, you press closer towards him and through playfully gritted teeth but an abject awareness of your surroundings you say, "It is your fault! None of this would be happening if you weren't… Doing things like that!"

He shrugs again, like none of this is of any consequence to him. "You know what's interesting to me about the whole thing?" Sunwoo asks, though the question doesn't particularly seem posed to you. "You've not once just shut it down. I've been waiting—figure, eventually it will come if that's what you want to do—but for some reason it just doesn't seem to be happening! Wonder what that's all about…"

A frown crosses your face, comically large though you cannot see it for yourself, and that makes Sunwoo smile in response. You don't like that, either.

"You don't have to answer, by the way. Up to you. Got to go, see you around… Whenever!"

Sunwoo waves lazily as he moves away from you, smiles brightly once again in Woori's direction, and then he is gone.

Throwing yourself onto bed is something of a ceremony; a small victory, of sorts.

You close your eyes and bask in the afterglow of a successful day. The performance was stellar and despite the mild tension within MVNE, nothing of any real importance has dug itself out of the mud and tarnished the land.

There is, of course, the matter of your phone.

It lies on the floor next to you and you know there is a message waiting there. You haven't looked at it, haven't really needed to on account of the fact that you know precisely who it is that it is coming from. 

Like all the other times, you can't ignore him forever.

Unfortunately, you have decided that there is little more option left to you than to come to terms with the fact of the matter: Sunwoo is dangling the promise of something that you do desire in front of you. Happily waving the potential of a thing that you would love to have right in front of your face and nothing short of now begging you to go ahead and take it. The car ride home had been a long one, full of a reckoning that you've been doing your best to try and ignore, but the more he insists, the harder you are beginning to find it to resist.

And now, you have to wonder how much longer you're going to be able to keep up a charade that all-in-all, appears to be fooling nobody.

Running your palms down your face, you succumb to one thing, at least. You're going to have to look at this text message.

Locating your phone, you swipe the lock screen and don't even bother to look at whatever the notification is intended to tease. You navigate straight to your messages, right to his box, and open it wide with a newfound sense of completely unfounded bravado.

S [01:14]: so i take it that's a no then?

You roll your eyes and begin typing up your response.

You [01:39]: isn't it a bit late for this? we both have work tomorrow you know.

S [01:40]: depending on what's on the agenda, it's actually the perfect time

You [01:40]: don't you have roommates still? if you want to be serious about this then lets seriously talk about the logistics, because they're certainly not making any sense to me!

The comment is a last ditch effort to try and get him to drop the subject. Once again, you recognize that you could just as easily tell him a first and final no and put the entire issue to rest, but you don't, you haven't… and worst of all, you probably won't.

A fun little game that you're playing, thrilling and new until the inevitable day comes that changes the trajectory of everything forever, should you continue.

S [01:41]: not to be crass but do you seriously think no idol in the history of ever has brought someone home to their shared living space to fuck? now who needs to be serious!? i just think it's funny that you won't tell me no. i'd never bring this up ever again! and yet… 🤔

It does cross your mind to throw your phone across the room and be done with this at least for the night, but before you have the opportunity to make a decision either way, you feel the vibration of another message coming through.

However, this time it is a photo, and you are glad to be alone considering the quickness in which you open it, zoom in, and press the device closer to your face.

There is nothing especially crude about it, which makes sense because it really is just far too dangerous for idols in any position of fame to be sending explicit photos through any apps, under pretty much any circumstances. Regardless of that fact, the effect ends up being the same; it's a selfie of him laid up in bed with no shirt on, hair damp and messy from being toweled off not long before, and a sheet pulled up enough that though the majority of his chest is covered—his arms, shoulders and collarbones most certainly are not.

Ironically, it's nothing you haven't seen before. Conceptually, it's not unusual for his group to leave little to the imagination through a plethora of photoshoots or stylistic performance choices. It is, however, the first time that you are the only one meant to see it.

This is so, so bad for you. Perhaps far worse than originally suspected.

Your throat runs dry, heart picking up in pace as you stare at the photo. There are just so many details to it that you can pinpoint in driving you mad, yet you can't seem to decide on which one is doing the most damage. The entire thing is a disaster. Sending even this out is a nightmare just waiting to happen. That is what you tell yourself when attempting to file this away into a folder that doesn't result in you coming to the conclusion that you've made the wrong choice tonight.

Collecting yourself to the best of your ability, you close your eyes, take a deep breath, and then finally reopen them to type out a response before too much time ticks by and your dishevelment is evident.

You [01:44]: are you insane? do you want to blow up your entire career? don't send people photos like this!!!

He begins typing immediately.

S [01:44]: lol yeah i'm sure that's what you're thinking about. and to answer both of your questions. 1) yes. 2) depends, will you come over if i do?

You want to scream. Unfortunately, having to explain that will not do you any favors. 

Ultimately, you break to some degree and begin typing out your reply. You have made your best effort to not acknowledge the elephant in the room with any explicit, direct words. Now? Sunwoo has worn you down and left you with little other choice.

You [01:45]: us fucking is not going to fix you!!!

Barely a second goes by, and he is typing once again.

S [01:45]: oh, i know that. it's going to make us much, much worse. goodnight!

You allow the conversation to come to its conclusion, but with unsteady breaths and a furiously beating heart, that us buries in deep and carves out a new home in your mind.

"Can we talk?"

Truth be told, you anticipated this.

The sound of a knock at the front door and subsequent voice that follows once it opens is easily heard from your bedroom. The apartment that you share is small and offers little privacy under the best of circumstances, but when there are visitors, it is difficult to avoid everyone knowing about it.

Especially when they have come specifically to talk to you.

Laid out on your bed, you glance up. From your view now, Hyemi stands there upside down and awkwardly fidgeting with her hands between the doorframe. Her short bob is unstyled and there's not a spec of makeup to be found on her face. It reminds you of one of those staged apology videos that influencers often give, though you force yourself to remain open-minded and to grant her more grace than that. After all, the two of you are stuck together for an undetermined future time; ought to make the best of it.

"Yeah, sure. Close the door behind you."

Hyemi follows instructions and sits herself down at the furthest edge of your bed, as if worried for any physical wrath that you may end up inflicting. It's a fairly asinine concern, completely unfounded, but you suppose that the two of you simply do not understand one another well enough to come to any such reasonable conclusions.

She stares down at the floor between her feet in silence for a long while, likely gathering her thoughts in relation to all of this. No doubt it has weighed heavily on her mind ever since.

"Well, first I owe you an apology for our trainee days," Hyemi says, voice quiet and a little shaky. "Admittedly, I had hoped to cast a shadow over others in an attempt to shine brighter myself. Not that it excuses my behavior, but we still didn't know how many cuts were going to be done until a final debut line-up was decided. I was just… scared. I wanted to debut so badly." She looks up and towards you finally. "And I wasn't brave enough to come out and be honest about my own past, so I told people about yours. I had seen you at events…"

"I gathered that much," you say. "How else would you have known?"

"I hadn't anticipated that we would both debut. Then, when we did make the cut, I realized I was locked into hiding this for as long as I could because you went with what was, in hindsight, the better route of handling it. We couldn't both just… come out with something like that at the same time."

There is truth within Hyemi's words, without any intention of spinning the fact. You know just as much as anyone else within the realm that the company would not have as plainly stated both facts with the simplicity that they had with yours. One is already a gamble, but two? No matter what, somebody is going to be living in the shadow of a secret. It ended up being her.

Granted, you are far from having escaped it yourself.

She laughs a little bit under her breath. "But I guess it was only a matter of time."

"Stuff like this usually is." Sitting up, you scoot yourself to sit beside her as a small offering of comfort and good will. "At the end of the day though, this just isn't that big of a deal, you know? I know it feels like it, but it's one of those things that's eventually going to pass. People will forget. With enough time, they pretty much always do."

Meeting your eyes, Hyemi gives a small smile and a nod of acceptance. 

"Sometimes… Sometimes I regret ever doing this, as crazy as that sounds," she admits, still picking at her fingernails. "Because I kind of miss that life. A life where no one was watching me and nobody cared about what I was doing. Just a fangirl in a sea of other fangirls, and even worse, I kind of miss him."

"You're still going to see him, just the circumstances will be different now."

"Yeah." A pause comes between the two of you for a moment, and then she asks, "Do you ever miss it? Do you ever feel regret in choosing this rather than just remaining comfortably where you were with him?"

The question catches you completely off guard, but you have no other option than to do everything in your power to not make that fact evident. Anxiety creeps up, your stomach twists, and you try to push away all of the circumstances that have found you as a result of your being here now.

It was easier then, different. However, you are being offered new opportunities that you hadn't really been prior to now. They are dangerous and ill-advised… But do you regret it?

There is a photo sitting in your camera gallery burning a hole in your phone.

"No, I don't. Our relationship is professional and he is kind to me. What more could I really ask for?"

"Yeah, that's true." Hyemi gives another contented nod. "I hope we can put this behind us, and I hope it's the last time that we as a group have to deal with something like this."

You take her hand into your own, and desperately, you hope for that, too.

Early March is still cold, and the wind is biting as it carries down the streets. Your hair whips across your face and the jacket you have on feels as though it is doing little to maintain your warmth. This early in the morning—just barely past seven—the sun has only just begun rising and as a result brings you no comfort, but on the bright side, the cafe that you're standing in front of will.

Their opening hours to the public are from eight, but you suppose this is one of the perks of minor stardom, because you have been invited to come at your leisure before or after; so long as any of the lights are on.

You pull the glass door open, take a single step inside, and then stop dead in your tracks once your sights are set on one of the tables inside.

A coffee, a plate with a half-eaten pastry on it, and a book are sprawled out across the wood. More than any of that, however, is the gentle smile that greets you.

"Oh, hello there," Juyeon says.

"Hi…"

"What? Did you think you were the only person that knows about this place?" He must pick up on your apprehension upon seeing him, an amused cock of his head accompanying the question. "One of my best-kept secrets, if I do say so myself."

The girl working quickly comes out from the back, takes your order, and begins to prepare it. Her awkwardness is evident and likely on account of the both of you being here at the same time. Perhaps a little concerned that she may be intruding on a sort of meeting between idols that she is not meant to be seeing. Her hands are swift and a little twitchy by the time she passes along your items. Admittedly, you're somewhat charmed by that fact.

"Sit," Juyeon says, and you do so.

"I thought this was my place," you say. "Now I have to share it with you?"

Shrugging, Juyeon happily accepts your playful annoyance and says, "I was probably here first."

"They never told me that anyone else from the company came here."

"Of course not, wouldn't be very covert of them." He glances up at you from across the table with his lips hidden behind the mug in hand. Still, you can tell there is a smirk pulling behind it. "I take it you aren't bringing anyone else here then?"

You scowl. "No! Who would I be bringing here?"

"Oh, come on. It's just the two of us here, you don't have to do that," Juyeon says, marking his page before closing his book with finality. "You know exactly who I'm talking about."

"We're just friends."

"Maybe to you." He gives you an incredibly knowing look then and it makes your skin crawl. "He does not want to be just friends. I think you know that."

Yeah, he has made that rather apparent.

Uncomfortable, you shift in your seat and say, "Sunwoo can be a handful, I doubt I have to tell you that." Your eyes catch Juyeon's, and though a part of you is advising against doing so, you cannot help the urge to find out more. You ask, "Has he said anything…?"

"No." The shake of his head is rather firm and believable. "He doesn't talk about you, if that's what you're asking. But I've been in the room and seen the way he acts in relation to you. Anyone that's paying attention would be able to see it. He isn't exactly covert."

You don't know what to say to that, and thus, you do not say anything.

The silence is short-lived, and Juyeon continues on.

"You're not interested? I mean… given the history that's a little surprising."

"Isn't it more complicated than that?" you reply.

"Sure, it's always going to be. That doesn't mean none of us are out here doing private business anyway." Juyeon's eyes narrow suspiciously as he looks at you and he says, "You two are barely even allowed to be in the same room together if there's a camera present, which opens up an interesting realm of possibilities where people who want to look at every single interaction under a microscope are no longer able to. You're… Maybe good at pretending something is nothing, but Sunwoo emphatically is not. It's sort of the dream opening, if you were interested."

"Are you saying I should get… involved, with your bandmate?"

Juyeon shrugs once as if none of this is of any particular interest to him, though the look on his face is evident of the exact opposite. In fact, he is quite enjoying all of this. A man who is delighted to be on the outside looking in.

"You don't want to?" he asks plainly, and it catches you nearly off-guard with the forwardness of it. "I mean, you don't think it could ever become something more than this?"

The whims of honesty take hold of you in that moment, and though you wish to be forthcoming with him, at the last minute, you choose not to be. You swallow down the desire to tell him the truth; that it already has become more than whatever it is that Juyeon sees it as, and that it is hurling itself towards something far more ruinous than even he knows. Juyeon discusses the topic with a sort of lighthearted airiness that you wish you could take on for yourself, but the weight of potential catastrophe has long since gripped you, and does not allow you that kind of peace.

You do your best to steady the shake of your hand, and with your mug pressed to your lips you quietly reply, "No, I think the two of us are better off just as friends."

Walking back to the company building is a short journey that you have long since become accustomed to, but this time, you find yourself wishing it left a little bit more to offer.

Juyeon walks beside you with a cupholder of four in hand—unable to carry more—and tells you that he intends to let whoever it is that shows up on time for practice their first choice of the offering. He tells you how Sunwoo is often late, but always brings a big smile and incredible energy with him no matter what may have caused him to lack a concept of time that day. This is something that, in theory, you already know about him, but due to the differences in your lives you have next to no personal experience with.

The breeze is warmer now and isn't as biting, though small flurries of snow carry within the wind and occasionally catch in Juyeon's black hair. Each time you look up at him to grant him your attention you see more, a pretty contrast that lends to making him all the more striking in your eyes.

You wonder for a moment why it hadn't been him. It is a thought that had come to you more than once during your time as a fan; why one member and not another? Juyeon is talented and kind, gentle and incredibly attentive to his own thoughts and feelings in ways that Sunwoo most certainly does not seem to be. At the very least, Juyeon conveys an adult maturity to him that spans well past his years; wise beyond them, emotionally intelligent and wise beyond his meager decades.

They are different, which is to be expected; and walking with him like this now, you find that difference to be a much welcomed breath of fresh air in your life.

"What do you have today?" Juyeon asks as the two of you round the corner.

"Well, I have a meeting with my manager for some upcoming CF opportunity that I know nothing about, then vocal lessons at eleven, media at one, a photoshoot for press at two, then a small break until four. After that it's—"

"I don't miss the days of being a rookie," he interjects with a pitiful laugh accompanying it.

"Yeah, it's fairly stacked, but we have the comeback right around the corner so it's to be expected." You look up at him, and with a small, quizzical cock of your head you ask, "You really don't miss it? Flying under the radar just a little bit more than you're able to now?"

"That's the trade-off, isn't it? Spend all of your time reaching this point where you finally have some semblance of comfort in your career, where you can finally take a sigh of relief and think this won't all go away when I wake up in the morning, but everything else about the life you once knew? That's gone, and you won't even really remember watching it disappear, either." Juyeon offers a tiny shrug. "Instead of waking up one day and your career is gone, you wake up one day and realize that you don't remember what anything was like outside of this."

"It's hard to imagine that ever being the case. I still don't feel like much is all that different. I'm busier, and I'm aware people are watching every move I make…" Looking around the two of you, people pass you by on the sidewalk without a care in the world. Until you spot a group of three girls perched up across the street with hands covering their mouths and excited notions shared between them. "I guess it just doesn't ever really feel like it's about me yet."

"You know what's funny about Sunwoo?" Juyeon says, balancing the precious cargo in one hand and reaching out for the door to the building in the other. "He's said before that what he really wants to do is just make enough money to be set, and then get out. Leave all of this behind."

"I remember that."

Holding the door open, you walk in ahead of him, and following closely behind he continues on to say, "And I don't doubt that there is a strong part of him that genuinely does feel that way. Sunwoo, more than a lot of us, really does still long for the way things were prior to all of this. He loves it… but you know how he is. A dreamer, romanticizer; I wish I could say the pathetic, lovesick softboy thing was all just an act he puts on for the fans."

"You make him sound a little bit like a liability when you put it like that."

Juyeon laughs and says, "Yeah, well, if it's going to be anyone, it probably would be him."

Looking up, your eyes meet his and the small smile that graces Juyeon's lips as he talks about Sunwoo is heartwarming, to say the least. It's clear to you that there is a lot of love there; built up and fortified throughout many years of hardship and success.

"Not you?" you ask with a hint of jest.

He looks down to you, something cunning sitting just behind the gaze.

"No," he says. "I just wouldn't get caught."

Having reached the elevator, you find it to already be on its way to the bottom floor. It lands with a ding, the shining metal doors slide open, and then standing in front of you is none other than your own, precious leader.

Woori's eyes widen for just a brief moment, a flash of intrigue so quick that you could just as easily miss it had you not been anticipating such a reaction. Regardless, it dissipates and is replaced with a pleasant grin and the typical pleasantries exchanged between senior and junior colleagues.

"I'll be off. At this rate, I'm going to be the one that ends up being late."

The doors close once again with Juyeon behind them, and as the elevator makes its way back up towards a new destination, you can already feel the weight of devious eyes boring a hole into the side of your head.

You close your eyes slowly and take a deep breath that is intended to steady you for whatever it is that is soon to come. "What?"

"Can't say for certain if I would consider this to be a better, or a worse option."

"We just so happened to be at the same coffee shop, it's nothing like that."

"Have you talked to your manager yet today?"

Finally, you open your eyes and turn to face her. "No, I'm about to right now, why?"

Unfortunately, the look that comes across Woori's face then is one that you cannot quite place. A perplexing mixture of amusement, anticipation, and also a little dash of horror. Truth be told, you can't make heads or tales of it, but what you do know is that it does little to bring any sense of comfort to an already taxing day ahead.

One thing you can definitely make from it all though, is her attempt at biting back a smile that is desperately trying to make itself known.

"What? Why are you grinning like that? What's so funny?"

Woori looks around to ensure that nobody in particular is close enough to hear, and then for good measure drags you elsewhere into a quieter, less traveled corner of the wide open entry space.

"We have a schedule tomorrow night."

"Okay…"

"A radio show."

Admittedly, you're not following whatever she is trying to get at. Your eyes widen and you shake your head abruptly, silently demanding that she arrive at the fucking point.

And all that she does is say the same thing over again; slowly this time, and punctuating each and every word. 

It works, but the pieces coming together feels a little bit like taking a freight train straight to the chest.

"Not all of us though," you say, voice urgent and insistent.

"Not all of us," Woori repeats, "but you are."

"Surely it's a mistake, they wouldn't have me… They wouldn't send me to go on his show. It's got to be a mistake."

Woori raises a hand and slams it down atop your shoulder, so much so that it causes you to nearly stumble in your already delirious and confused state. "You, Nara and Jubi," she says, now shaking you comically where you stand. "We're all the guinea pigs around here, and it looks like you're their favorite little piggy!" 

"This isn't experimentation, this is suicidal," you reason, voice laden with exasperation. "I thought we were all in agreement that—"

"It's going to be fine," Woori says. The last word is long and drawn out in ways that might lend one to the assumption that not even she believes what she is saying entirely, but with little other options and no right to refuse the fact; what are either of you meant to do about it? "May I offer some advice?"

Your head is still spinning, and without much of a thought, you simply say yes.

"No making out in the halls. It'll be a bad look, ya know?"

Yeah, great.

[rafeysbambi]

bambi

part iv

summary:

kind, sweet and the definition of innocent, obsessed with pink, bows and all animals but especially deers. y/n has barely held a boys hand let alone been kissed until rafe cameron lays eyes on her

a/n:

heyyyyyyyyy sorry for the delay i’m currently overseas for my christmas holiday but hope u guys enjoy 🤗🤗

your eyes darted between rafe and your brother as they both stared at you waiting for you to speak. “uhh this is rafe and well rafe this is my brother.” you stood awkwardly sipping the strawberry lemonade as the two boys stared eachother down. “wow this lemonade is really good, really lemonadey.”

“y/n, go sit down at the table please, i’ll be there in a second” your brother told you still not breaking eye contact with rafe. unsure of what to do you grab your drink and purse and and squeeze past rafe. the back of your hand brushing his for half a second, causing him to break his gaze from your brother and look down at you momentarily.

you give him a small smile, “thank you for the drink rafe.” he gave you a quick nod and with that you nervously made your way to the table. unfortunately from the seat of your table you couldn’t hear or see anything, so you had no clue what was going on back there. you sat playing with the straw of your drink, unsure what to do.

your brother walks over to the table putting his drink down next to you. “well wasn’t that delightful. you forgot to mention you were hanging around with rafe cameron.”

“i only met him a couple days ago-“

“you met him a couple days ago and he’s stood like that? all over you? you guys looked like you were about to makeout.” you both speak in hushed tones.

“we weren’t about to makeout, he just paid for my drink” you rolled your eyes at him. you guys never really argued but right now neither of you were backing down.

“right and i’m sure that’s how it starts with all the girls he gets with, seriously y/n how stupid are you? he’s obviously just using you like he does with every other girl.”

you sat back in your chair, tears started to prick in your eyes. it was then that your father arrived, “hi darling did you get here alright?” he places a kiss on your head and nods at your brother before taking his seat. neither you or your brother say anything, both avoiding eye contact with eachother. “is everything alright?” he asked looking between the two of you.

“yes all good daddy, just thinking about what i want to eat” you smiled at him before pulling the menu into your hands trying to distract your father. you couldn’t even focus on the menu, replaying your brothers words over and over again in your head.

what did he mean with every other girl? and that he was using you like all the girls he gets with?

your head was racing and it felt like you were about to explode. “may i be excused to use the restroom?” you didn’t wait for an answer, standing up and hurrying off to the nearest restroom. you locked yourself in the cubicle, pressing your back against the door as you put your head in your hands.

why was this happening to you?

you were about to scream when you heard the door to the restroom opening, followed by laughter and one of the world’s most annoying unmistakable voices. ruthie. of course she would be here right now. you watch through the tiny crack of the door as ruthie, bea and cora stand at the vanity reapplying their makeup. none of them could stop giggling, “seriously how pathetic do you have to be?” ruthie said before they all started laughing again.

“poor girl doesn’t even know, i almost feel bad” bea said fixing her hair and taking a snap of the three of them. as they finally left the restroom, you let out a loud exhale, unlocking the cubicle. you splashed some water on your face and took some deep breaths.

“i’m strong, i’m kind, i’m giving” you say trying to reassure yourself. you gave yourself one final smile in the mirror before walking out of the restroom, getting ready to return to where you were sitting. you walked about 10 steps before you heard your name being called. you turned around to ruthie, bea and cora walking over to you. “great, just what i needed.”

“oh my god y/n hi how are you?” ruthie said in the most over exaggerated tone. you opened your mouth to speak but she just continues to talk. “wow that’s such a cute dress, isn’t it girls?” the other two girls nodding along with whatever she was spitting out. “you know y/n it’s actually so funny that we bump into you here, you see we heard from a little bird that you’re getting in with rafe cameron.” your heart dropped as she speaks his name, out of the corner of your eye you see bea holding in giggles looking away from the conversation.

it’s clear to you now, you were the pathetic poor girl they were giggling about in the bathroom. “you see y/n we just wanted to come to you as girls and tell you to be careful you know considering rafe’s reputation and all… we wouldn’t want you to get hurt.” the smile plastered on her face is nothing short of fake. you take a big swallow, refusing to cry infront of these shallow girls.

“y/n there you are, the foods come out.” your brother interrupts ruthie’s interrogation, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. he gives your shoulder a tight squeeze, obviously sensing how tense you are.

“oh hi, i didn’t realise you were in town.” ruthie starts fluttering her lashes at your brother, her tone completely different to what it was a few seconds ago.

“right well i just came to get y/n and i’ve done that so now we will be leaving.” he turned around, with you still tucked under his shoulder. you took a couple steps before he looked back over his shoulder. “ruthie, i would say it’s been a pleasure catching up but then i’d be lying.” once you and your brother are out of sight of ruthie and her minions, your brother stops you and pulls you into a hug.

“i’m sorry y/n”.

[kingsmoot]

where do you think asha's canon rape kink may have surfaced from?

like where is the canon evidence of her rape kink? (it's the post-kingsmoot [ETA deepwood motte] scene in affc [ETA: adwd] where qarl wrestles her down and fucks her and it is an obvious pre-negotiated consensual and practiced encounter for them of a scenario they have played out before/a scene that calms asha down and makes her feel better) (i can pull the quote for you if that's what you are looking for)

or like what in asha's life happened that gave her a rape kink? i don't personally think it comes from past sexual trauma and/or abuse. i think asha is a confident, self assured, commanding woman who is in her daily life put in charge of a lot of people and decisions and i think often people who are like that at their jobs (and in asha's case being heir to pyke is much more than a job it is her Self) enjoy the feeling of giving up control/giving over control to a trusted partner in bed. this is common irl and it makes a lot of sense to me with asha. when you are the big boss that everyone listens to it is nice to have a quiet couple of hours with your girlfriend at the end of the night where she bends your knees up past your ears and tells you to take her cock like a good little whore. i don't think ash is replaying past trauma or recontextualizing assault/abuse that has happened to her i think she just likes to have fun and unwind. 🥰

[giggly-squiggily]

Excuse me while I literally scream-

I have found what I deem to be the cutest tickle scene ever

(Spoilers for Cupid Parasite Sweet and Spicy Darling under the cut!)

ALLAN IS TICKLISH AHHH 😭😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

HELP I CANNOT- HE’S GOT A LOUD LAUGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AHZNANZNWNS 😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🥰🥰🥰🥰

I mean- I already loved him before discovering this but YALL- 😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Excuse me while I plan and write all the Lee!Allan fics upon discovering this I am literally on cloud nine this was so freaking CUTE-

[vaguely-concerned]

one thing I have to keep reremembering every time I'm playing a soulslike/similar kind of difficult game -- and that I wish I could internalize elsewhere in my life as well -- is that you always, always have to suffer through the long dark of an inexplicable failcringe era before you can emerge into a fresh new dawn of competence. faceplanting into humiliating failure in ways you hadn't even conceived of before on a loop can sometimes be the herald of great and wondrous things to come soon. don't be so quick to abandon yourself in the early murk of daybreak because you think you just suck!!!

[beanbeanbee]

Deadass weeping after watching the Ōkami Sequel trailer. Like I don't even care if anyone following me goes here or not this is the only thing I'll be thinking about for the next month. Amaterasu. Ammy. Bby girl.

[sortanonymous]

Everybody: "Sure, the Angry Birds fandom is annoying with how much they've shouted "BringBack2012", but at least they're not queerphobic!

Me: "Just look at the comments under all their Pride posts (at least on YouTube) and see if you're still right."

[kenzan-kiwami]

to be completely frank i think most of the people i've seen with major complaints regarding RGG 8's story are forgetting that 99% of what they're saying can be applied across the whole series

[aymayzing]

Lys Lavellan, you will always be famous

[makuta-kotok]

guys I think I don’t like Cult of The Lamb anymore

[crows-of-buckets]

I need to draw my rook bc I actually do have some ideas for them I just. Have NOT been in a creating mood idk I'm so tired... Aoughgggh

[candyheartedchy]

“Chy Baby”

[elegyofthemoon]

ok but i'm just thinking about one of the memory logs for sakura and how mobius tells sakura that what happened to her after her mantis surgery is at least better than what happened to both mobius and kevin after theirs, but from then on, sakura is no longer human and no one else will look at her like a human like before

then you timeskip over to when sakura is trying to save rin from MOTH, and she's arguing with kevin about how the MANTIS soldiers will always be outsiders and a threat to MOTHs because of the surgery. and how this treatment is what makes sakura afraid for rin and inevitably leads to her doom i :(

[eyepatchdate]

smtiv finished once again. I love this game so much, especially neutral route. I did all the quests and a lot of unnecessary stuff for fun. I spent. 70 hours in this replay.

[vulpixelates]

the monday blues are getting me especially hard after a four day weekend of being curled up in bed and playing pretend with my wife 😔😔

daydreaming about the lesbians in our heads SAVE ME