#I may or may not have replayed it over and over and over-

[kirkwallguy]

I agree so much with you that Solas is an active detriment to the Dragon age setting. I am replaying Origins, and my incredibly hot take is that Solas recycles a significant amount of Keeper Zathrian's character, in order to create a more "epic" scale narrative that imo is also much weaker and messier than the original Zathrian to the overall scope of the world and to player engagement.

They're both bald magic elves who have been alive for absurd lengths of time, and who are convinced of their own righteousness even when their actions cause or will cause great and unending harm to those around them. At least with Zathrian his "optimal" narrative path (whatever that may be to the player) isn't gated off behind playing a straight woman, my Tabris can butch out with Leliana all I want and still access all modes of narrative engagement with Zathrian, and the Dalish within the Zathrian quest are granted legitimacy and dignity in their beliefs.

I am not a fan of the reveal that the Dalish gods were functionally just powerful mages, it's so obviously a plot beat written by a certain type of atheist who don't see how anyone could have faith in a greater force, or have curiosity about that mode of moving through the world, which is made even sillier when the setting has dragons and ghosts and stuff. Its so similar to the type of story that takes greek/norse/egyptian gods and re-imagines them as regular guys, functionally wizards, in an urban fantasy setting, wanting the power and drama but shedding the belief systems that go along with the gods, and what those systems do and mean to people. There's so much awe and wonder and hope in the codex entries in the Origins Dalish camp - are these gods gone for good, can they ever return and can the Dalish ever go home either with or without their gods' presence? What do the gods mean to a people who have suffered so much and safeguard those pieces of divinity that remain in stories and song and crafts? What might these echoes of distant gods mean to the city elves, so far removed from what once was but still cherishing the traditions they do have? But no, the Dalish were fools for their tattoos and their beliefs, and all the history and remembrances Zathrian kept and passed on to his people was false. What an idiot. Who even remembers that guy?

Anyways, you don't have to post my anonymous tirade, I just am a huge fan of one (1) bald elf so deep in guilt and tragedy and the weight of history that he is either blind to the harm he may cause, or so secure in his pride and belief in his own righteousness that he chooses to close his eyes to that harm. And that elf is not Solas.

i always giggle when i get to zathrian because he's so obviously prototype solas.

and despite his situation, zathrian's goals feel mostly grounded, we see him amongst the clan and understand his dynamics with the people around him. it's kind of impossible to fully grasp solas' whole deal because it's so hypothetical, all these things happened offscreen to characters with incomprehensible power who may have just been spirits at the time anyway. who give a shit...

and i agree with the religion thing but i'd say i always read dai and dav's handling of religion more as being liberal christianism than overzealous atheism. i wrote this post about dai, and i think dav only made it more true:

there's so little exploration of religious practices in dalish culture, dai at least does a little bit with those few sidequests, but dalish clans in dav are something just distantly spoken about and never fully explained. and this is in a game ABOUT the dalish gods. how is bellara saying (over and over again) "our gods are back!!! D:" supposed to hit when we don't know what significance the gods actually have? 😑 they had something really interesting in origins and da2, but it just feels like any other contextless fantasy pantheon now

[glassartpeasants]

One Piece Asylum Au .02

Eustass Kidd, Monkey D. Luffy, Roronoa Zoro, Vinsmoke Sanji, Trafalgar Law, Killer x F!Reader

Warnings: angst, self mutilation, medical malpractice, blood/gore, mentions of murder and death, mentions of cannibalism

A/N: i am NOT a psychiatrist so i don't know anything about that career field other then things I've looked up.

~~~

Luffy’s session seemed to fly. It didn’t take long to see how truly deep he was in his pirate delusions. The whole session was him talking about these adventures he’s been on with his friends. From fighting monsters to fighting the government. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find his stories enjoyable. His vivid imagination is seemingly a blessing and a curse in its own right. Using his imagination to hide the reality of him being all alone. Loneliness is truly a disease that can destroy someone. 

“Well, Luffy, that sounds like an adventure for sure. May I ask you a question? I wanna redecorate this old room to something more friendly. What do you think we could add to spice this room up to feel more comforting?” Perhaps asking the patients themselves would be the better solution. Knowing what they enjoy could drastically help in making them more open to speaking to you.

Luffy looks off for a moment, his straw hat still attached to his head. Black strands of hair poking out from under it. “Have a buffet! Full of meat!” Luffy’s eyes go wide with excitement.

A chuckle leaves your lips. “Oh my, really now? And where would I get so much meat?”

“Sanji says there are millions of pounds of meat outside of here! Once we get out of here, he’ll cook it all up!” Luffy smiles wide as his excitement echoes through the room. His comment about Sanji had your interest piqued. Millions of meat outside of the hospital? Was he talking about animal products out there? He must be because you couldn’t think what else he’d be talking about.

“Sounds like a big ordeal. Where would we put all the meat? And what kinds would there be?” Luffy goes on with a new ramble before stopping himself as he yawns

“Tired?” 

“No! I’m not…tired.” He continues to yawn. Based on what he told you earlier that day, it’s possible he could be refusing to sleep. Instead choosing to sleep deprive himself just so he wouldn’t dream of his brother. Sad, but it wouldn’t be uncommon or the first time you’ve heard of such measures taken. You’ve learned a lot of cases with these symptoms. Especially ones with such intense trauma like Luffy.

You can’t help but feel your heartache as you watch him struggle to keep his eyes open. Picking up your walkie-talkie, you speak into it. 

“Does anyone know the last time 101 has slept? He’s with me and on the verge of passing out. Unable to keep his eyes open.” There was silence on the other end before you heard the nurse respond.

“The file says the 15th Dr. (L/N).” Your brows furrow.

“The 15th? It’s the 19th right now. Are you sure that’s correct?”

“That's what the file says.”

“Has anyone tried to help him sleep?” You hear the nurse hum before answering.

“It says Dr. Cross has tried to stick meds in his food, but he always spits them out.”

“I see. Thank you.” Turning off your walkie-talkie, you look at Luffy, puzzled about how to help him. Sleep is a vital thing for the human body, and for him to avoid it with such determination it made you begin to theorize that the reason he avoids it is due to seeing his brother not in a dream-like setting but rather a nightmare. Maybe even replaying the accident over and over again.

“Luffy, can you tell me the reason you won’t sleep? Is there any way I can help?” With a soft voice, you try to encourage Luffy to give you a better picture of his side instead of just your theories. 

Yet he stayed silent. Silent and still. Getting up from your battered seat, you walk over to him when you hear the wispy noise of an almost quiet snore. 

Realizing he had passed out made you freeze. While you were happy he had fallen asleep, even if it was for a moment, you didn’t know how long he’d be asleep, how hard he slept, or what to do now that he’s asleep. If you could, you’d leave him in here to sleep, but it’s not safe enough and you have someone next to attend to, but you were afraid to move him in case he woke up.

A knock on the door makes you jump and rush to the door as quietly as you can. Not wanting to wake Luffy or keep whoever it was from knocking again. Upon opening the door, your met with Dr. Cross and a security guard.

“Dr. Cross, what are you doing here?”

“A nurse told me you were asking about the last time 101 slept, and I figured we might be lucky enough for him to be asleep. I brought Bruce here to help carry him back to bed.” Nodding, you move away, allowing the guard to grab Luffy.

“Be careful, please. I don’t want him waking up and hurting you or himself if a night terror arises.” Only giving you a grunt, the guard grabs him and carries him out of the room. 

Letting out a sigh, you look at Dr. Cross. “I hope he stays asleep.”

“I, as well. I’ve given him pills, but he just spits them out, which leads to situations where he hasn’t slept in days. Like this one.”

“Has he told you what the dreams are about by any chance? I have a quick theory, but I wanted to do a peer review with you.”

“When he was first sent, his grandfather told us he had recurring nightmares of the day his brother was murdered. And another one where he’d see said brother standing over his bed while he slept. The same way he looked when he was murdered and even imagined when versions of his brother's corpse decayed.”

Making a mental note, you continue to ask her questions. “I know it’s not really our place to know, but what exactly happened? Maybe if we knew, we could try to make a plan that’d help him more?”

“Hmm. There could be something. I wasn’t told exactly what happened, so you’d have to go online or ask the police station.”

“Thanks. Will do, Dr. Cross.” You watch her leave the room before speaking.

“Also, when you speak to 102 and 103, make sure you keep your distance from 103. He has a habit of biting and not letting go. Has bitten several nurses, which led them to bleed.” And with that, she left, leaving you to grapple with the knowledge that many nurses don’t put in incident reports since there was nothing on 103’s that mentioned biting.

“Oh, one more thing!” Dr. Cross’s head pokes back out from behind the door. “Your full access will be instated tomorrow!”

“I…didn’t have full access before?”

“No. We don’t give full access on the first day. Simple safety protocol. That's all now.” Once again, she left you to grapple with even more things about the patients you didn’t know about. What else could there be? It shouldn’t be much, right?

With a deep breath and putting your hair in a different style, you knock on 102’s door. “Zoro? Hello? It’s me, Dr. (L/N). I’ve just come to talk to you-”

“What the hell do you want? Can’t you see we’re busy?” When you open the door, you see him facing the left wall, looking as if he were talking to someone. If what you remember, there were notes about him having hallucinations involving his deceased lover.

“Very sorry about it. Perhaps we can all talk? Even about something silly?” You speak calmly, not wanting Zoro to explode like this last time the two of you met. From what you can also remember, he’s still in seclusion as you're unable to bring him to the decaying room you call your own. Which could be a plus since maybe a familiar setting would help him open up more.

“How about your favorite thing to do? I like (----).” There was an awkward silence as you sat on the floor facing him, keeping a safe distance between the two of you.

Zoro remained quiet, refusing to answer while looking away from you. The silence was suffocating as you struggled to try and think of something. You didn’t want to just give up on him, but you didn’t want to push him either. Taking a deep breath, you try to rethink your approach.

"Would you like something to drink? I’m sure being in this stuffy room has you quite parched?” He looks over at you, and while he looks like he might say something, he stays silent. After another failed attempt to talk with him, you agree in your head that if he doesn’t want to talk, you won’t make him.

“Well, it was nice to see you even if we didn’t talk. I suppose I’ll leave you to it. Hope you have a good day, Zoro; see you soon.” Waving goodbye, you leave the room, closing the door, and to your happiness, there wasn’t the sound of an upending ambush rushing towards you. 

Locking the door, you make your way to the next patient. You didn’t have to walk far as 103 was just next door. Pulling your walkie-talkie out, you send a message to the staff. “Dr. (L/N) here, are there any restrictions or rules on 103 that I should know about that have been implemented since this morning?” There was a silence on the other line before you heard Nurse Mallory’s voice on the other side.

“Nope! Same as always! Just the security guard.”

You were taken aback, not knowing about the need for protection. “I was unaware of this? It said nothing about it in the reports or his files?”

“It must not be up to date then. He’s been needing one since July.” July? It’s October now? How could they not have updated his file in that long? He’s needed a security guard for 4 months, and no one has thought to write it down.

Maybe you're being too harsh. Maybe there was a miscommunication, and they thought someone else had written it down when no one had. Things happen, and it's not like you haven’t had a problem with miscommunication before.

“Alright. Please have a security guard sent to 103 on Pine Wing. Thank you.” Turning off the radio, you await the guard to escort you to 103 as you put your walkie-talkie back into your back pocket. Looking down at your clipboard, you reread Luffy’s notes and glance at Zoro’s empty sheet, feeling a sense of failure at the lack of progress. But you should have expected it. You’ve only started today, your a stranger. He has no reason to trust you. And perhaps the rest will be the same way. Quiet and untrusting. But you were going to work your hardest to help them and be the safe space they could rely on.

~~~

Finally, after what feels like eons, you see a security guard approaching you. “Ah, thank you for coming. Is there anything you can tell me about 103? I'm getting the feeling I'm missing some crucial information, seeing as I didn’t know he even needed a guard.”

The man shifted his cap as he looked at you. “Keep your distance. He’s a freak. I’ve seen him stay right next to some doctors and look like he wants to eat them.” The sense of unease digs into your skin as goosebumps adorn your arms. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you grab the door knob and open the door. What your met with was something that made you scream.

There, sitting on his bed, was Sanji. His maroon scrubs were drenched, and his arm missing a chunk of flesh. It didn’t take long to put two and two together when you saw how his mouth and teeth were stained and crimson red.

“Quick! Stop him!” You cry out, hoping the security guard will safely restrain him from hurting himself more. It was barely even a second before you were on your walkie-talkie.

“I need medical assistance right away! 103 is bleeding severely and needs to see a doctor immediately!”

“God damnit, I told them not to leave him unsupervised!” Dr. Cross’s voice comes over the radio. The frustration evident in her voice. “Make sure he doesn’t hurt himself more!”

You felt frozen. While in school, you were warned of patients with tendencies like this, but you never thought you’d see it so early. And so much blood. The urge to vomit has you leaving the room before you bend over and lose your lunch on the linoleum floor. A bleeding finger or a bloody nose was nothing compared to the horror that was Sanji’s arms. The mangled flesh was burned into your mind.

Hurried footsteps rush to you, and see both Dr. Philip and Dr. Cross approaching with a nurse behind them. A kit with a red cross on the white box.

“Dr. (L/N), are you okay? Do you need to sit down?” The nurse comes up and pats your back while rubbing it.

“I wasn’t…so much blood.” The nurse sighed.

“I’m sorry you weren’t told about that. I thought they would’ve told you about his…habits.” You look up at her with wide eyes.

“He bit off a piece of his own flesh! Why wasn’t that in his report?! Why wasn’t I told this was a common occurrence?!” Standing up straight, you demand answers. There was no excuse for this lack of awareness. Lack of documentation.

The nurse looks down in guilt, fiddling with the helm of her scrubs. “We’ve just been really busy, Dr. (L/N). There’s not a lot of nurses compared to patients, so there's never really time to chart.”

“This has been a problem since when? The fact he’s needed a security guard since July and it hasn’t been noted is unacceptable. And biting himself unnoted as well is exactly the same. Who’s in charge of this wing of nurses? I know each wing has its own crew of nurses.” Crossing your arms, you look at the nurse, who still refuses to meet your gaze.

“It’s Nurse Mallory, Emily, Louis, and Brady, ma’am.” Squinting your eyes, you make a mental note to talk to them. To them and Dr. Cross, hoping there could be something done. 

“Alright, and what’s your name?” You ask in a stern voice.

“I’m a CNA; I’ve only been here since August. I’m on Maple Wing. I’m Indigo.” Sighing, you pinch the bridge of your nose.

“They pulled you from Maple Wing to Pine Wing? Where are the nurses actually assigned to this area?”

“I don’t know.”

The air was tense with your frustration and the CNA’s nervousness. Only one day in, and you already want to scream into a pillow. “What do you know about 103. Leave nothing out. Cause obviously the files are unreliable.” Look forward to Dr. Philip, you speak. “I’ll be taking Miss Indigo to my office to help me update files.”

“Are you sure? We may need her help with 103.”

“Call his nurse. They should be on station 3. I need Indigo to tell me undocumented things that haven’t been filed.” Turning around, you motion for the CNA to follow you. She quickly scurries to your side before walking next to you. Keeping her head down and quiet.

Upon entering your office, you tell her to grab a chair and sit next to you. Closing the door, you sit in your chair and unlock your computer.

“Alright, start talking, Indigo, and start off with what the hell happened in 103.”

Squirming in her seat, she answers. “I’m sure you know why he’s here. But in the deeper files, it says the entire case.”

“Deeper files? What are the deeper files?” It’s then you remember how Dr. Cross mentioned that you don’t have full access due to your only being one day in. Could those be the said ‘deeper files’? Well, you couldn’t wait till tomorrow. Hopefully, it’ll help you as you are only halfway through your patient list, and two of them didn’t even talk.

“Well, in 103’s chart, it says the full story.” Taking a deep breath, she continues.

“As you know, he was sent here after the court deemed him unfit to stand trial. Especially considering his disposal of the bodies.”

“Disposal?”

“He…ate them. Everyone except his sister. He had fed them to her without her knowing.” Your eyes widen as you struggle to comprehend it all. “His father and his three brothers.”

“What about his mother?”

“She was already deceased by this time. She had gotten sick and passed. It’s where many believe the spiral started.” It wouldn’t surprise you if what she was telling you was the truth. Such a traumatic event could cause damage and proceed to worsen over time if not properly cared for.

“I see what else? Can it explain why he took a bite from his arm?”

“Well, he wanted to be a cook, and so as a way to dispose of the bodies and increase his skill, he made them into dishes. Anything you can think of, he probably did. It was gruesome. His words about it all stick with the people who he talked to when he recounted how it went down.”

“And after?”

“He said there was nothing like the taste. How unforgettable it was. That he’d do anything to get another bite of it.”

Your stomach churned at the revelation. It was one thing to massacre your entire family, but a whole different type of monstrous to cannibalize them and feed them to his sister.

The horror and trauma she must be going through, you couldn’t even imagine. Knowing all her family is gone and, it was the cause of her brother. 

“He said it’s what they deserved for what they did to him. For how they treated him?”

“So he…ate them?” The CNA nodded, letting out a shaky breath.

“Yes. He’s also shown much favoritism to the…female staff.”

“Ah, I see. Well, if that's the case, I want male nurse staff only for his care. And since there is no male therapist and Dr. Philip is a medical staff member, I’ll be the one to talk to him as Dr. Cross has assigned me to him.” The sound of typing echoes in your office as you write notes and another incident report. Needing to document everything.

Name: Vinsmoke Sanji

Age: 21

Height: 5’11

Location: Floor 1, Room 103, Pine Wing

Incident Detail: At 12:05 pm, I was entering room 103 to get started on his first session. Upon opening the door, I was met with a gruesome sight. There was a huge chunk of his arm missing after he had bitten into his own flesh. His scrubs were drenched in, and his arm was covered in red. I managed to call Dr. Philip, Dr. Cross, and CNA Indigo to the scene. The security guard helped stop Sanji from continuing self-injury. Dr. Philip and Dr. Cross have begun to clean his wounds.

“Alright, that's done.” Sighing, you rub your eyes. There's gonna be some changes around here. Cause this kind of negligence can not go unchecked. Especially not with the field of work you're in right now. Everything needs to be specifically documented. You turn to Indigo.

“What else do you know?”

“Nothing else, ma’am, I swear! I’m never usually over here, and I’ve only heard bits and pieces of the people on Pine Wing. Nothing that isn’t on basic files!” Narrowing your eyes at her, you try to decipher if she’s lying or not.

“Fine. Who would be the best to ask about this?”

“Nurse Mallory? She’s been here longer than I’ve been alive. I have no doubt she can tell you everything about every patient.”

“Okay.” You groan before waving a dismissive hand. “You can go back to Maple Wing. Thank you for the info, Indigo.” Not needing another second, she rushes out, the pressure and nerves fueling her run back to her original station.

“Dr. (L/N)? Have you finished with Miss Indigo? Rooms 104, 105, and 106 have yet to be seen.” The walkie-talkie buzzed. Dr. Cross’s voice is on the other line. Picking up the radio, you bring it to your face.

“That I am. Do I NEED to bring any security guard to them as well?” You can feel your nails digging into your palms as you grit your teeth. It wasn’t that you didn’t want one; you’d like to be safe, but the lack of noting and important documentation is what ticks you off. “As you did send that schedule to talk to each patient in order of rooms.”

“Ah yes, well, I suppose I worded it wrong. I meant most difficult to deal with. SO my apologies for the misinterpretation. But the only one I suggest bringing a guard to is 105, as he has a history of aggression.”

“Alright. Thank you, goodbye.”

Breathing heavily, you adjust your shirt and pants, holding your clipboard to your chest. Rolling your shoulders, you knock on 104’s door.

“Hello? Law? I’ve come to introduce myself.” You say, slowly entering the room. A chill runs over you as you look around the room. You see him sitting in the middle of the room, facing you head-on. “My names Dr. (L/N); I’ll be your new psychatrist. It’s a pleasure to meet you finally.”

Smiling, you enter the room, closing the door behind you before sitting down on the ground about nine feet away from him. While you knew you should bring him back to your room like protocol calls, it just didn’t seem like a good space to start introductions. You wanted them to be comfortable and calm, not so on edge.

“So I hear your favorite food is Onigiri, right? I haven’t tried it yet, but I'm curious as to what it tastes like?” Trying to get the conversation going, you start by including something he likes. Hoping to get him comfortable enough to talk to you.

If he didn’t, you wouldn’t be surprised. Not when you heard his reason and backstory for being here. If you were in his shoes, you’d probably be untrusting too. Then again, you don’t think you’d do unethical experiments on your patients or make your lover forcefully sick on purpose. There would be a lot of things you’d do differently. But you're not him, and that's why you're here. To help understand and get him through the problems and trauma he’s carried for so long.

The silence is deafening. His golden eyes started right into your soul. Studying you, judging you. “Well, I heard you’ve studied at Provon University. I also studied there. Only just graduated three weeks ago. So I say we have something in common?” Still nothing. His face is one of neutrality; he is just looking at you, uninterested and annoyed.

It stretched out for another minute longer, the silence crippling, and just as you were about to give up. “Does Professor Coop still work at Provon?”

His words were a shock to you. You didn’t think you were gonna hear anything from him, but you were pleasantly grateful for being wrong. Even if it was a question about a professor at the college you both went to.

“The last time I checked, yep. I even had a class with him. First Aid and CPR, right? He always gave little heart-healthy suckers.” Law nodded, and you swore if you looked a little harder, you saw his mouth twitch to a small smile.

‘Progress! This is great!’ You were thrilled by the small amount of success. It was difficult not to get all giddy and overly happy as you didn’t want to overwhelm him or go back into his shell. So, all you did was make a mental note for now.

“Do you have any other professors that you enjoyed?” You ask, hoping to strike up another conversation. “I liked Professor Harp and her public speaking classes. It really helped me to speak better in public offices and such.” Law gave you another nod, and it only makes you more confident in growing an appropriate relationship with Law as his psychiatrist. 

“Do you have classes or things you minored in? I minored in art and took a lot of art classes.” Smiling, you await him to respond. Yet as time goes by, the silence gets loud, and it feels as if you had perhaps said something wrong. Did you say something that caused him to go back into his shell? Maybe changing the subject would help?

“Have you watched those hospital dramas? I heard that it's nothing like working at a hospital. Then again, it's for entertainment, I suppose.” Another unanswered question passes through the room as Law ignores you.

“Well, Law, I say we stop here for today, huh? Lunch starts soon, and I don’t want you to miss your favorite food. I can walk you there if you’d like?” Nothing. All You got in response was a never-ending stare into your soul.

“Alright…guess I’ll see you later, okay?” Sitting up from the floor, you make your way to the door, open it, and slip out. “Have a good rest of your day, Law, and if you need anything, just ask me, okay?” Smiling, you close the door after waving goodbye.

Once the click sounds, you let out a sigh. You didn’t know whether you made progress or anything. It was stressful not knowing them and worrying you were doing something wrong. You just graduated college, and this was your first job as a psychiatrist. You knew what you were getting into when you went into this field, so it shouldn’t have surprised you. Then again, the world is full of surprises, and this job has easily shown how much it can give you. 

“LUNCH IS READY! PLEASE ESCORT PATIENTS TO THE DINING ROOM! LUNCH IS READY! PLEASE ESCORT PATIENTS TO THE DINING ROOM!”

The ringing of the bland voices echoes among the hallways of the Pine Wing, letting everyone know it was time to eat. Footsteps of nurses come down your direction, with some holding trays and others there to escort the safe patients to the dining room.

“AH! Dr. (L/N). How has it been since she last talked?” The sickly sweet of nurse Mallory drawing your attention. Turning, you see her walking towards you with that same bright smile as the one from earlier.

“It's been…interesting. Many unique personalities here.” It was the best way to describe your experience so far. From Luffy’s talkative nature to the distressing scene of Sanji’s self-mutilation. Knowing you still had two more rooms to finish filled you with a heavy pressure you tried to ignore. You chose this career, you chose this place, and hell, you were only one day in! It just happens to be a slightly hectic first day. Besides, you knew this place was where the more difficult cases were. Everybody in the city of Sabaody knows that. And you made a promise to help those in need. The ones the public left behind, and god damnit, were you gonna stick to it!

“But I’m glad I’m meeting everyone. I have 105 and 106 still left. Have any tips I should look out for?”

“Nothing you haven’t already learned yet, sweetie. Oh! Don’t forget the remote when you go into 105! He’s got a nasty temper and is extremely violent when not restrained. It’s either that or a security guard.”

Ah. You remember your orientation, and you couldn’t help but feel the crippling unease that runs up your spine. The sound of his pained screams and the neutral face of Dr. Cross as she pressed the button burned into your memory. No way in hell would you do something like that. Not only has it been proven an insufficient method of treatment, but it’s also inhumane. 

The thought of causing any of your patient's pain even accidentally feels like bile rising in your throat. S,o you can’t imagine intentionally causing them pain. Why would you want to hurt someone you're supposed to care for? It didn’t make any sense to you. It’d go against everything you stood for as a psychiatrist. Your goal was to help, not hurt and you weren’t planning on causing harm to any of your patients as long as you were caring for them.

“I think I’ll stick to the security guards. They’ll wait outside while I speak to 105.” Facing Mallory again, you put on the nicest smile you could. Her willingness to hurt patients with a controlled shock didn’t sit right with her bubbly persona. 

“Are you sure? I’d hate for you to be hurt or defenseless!” taking a step towards you, she looks at you with a seemingly shocked expression at your lack of ‘protection.’

“I promise Nurse Mallory, there’s no need to worry about me.” You hold your free hand up in defense. “I’ll call some guards to stand outside his room, and I’m sure everything will be alright.” Trying to assure her, you smile nervously. 

“If you say so. Did you want to talk to him while he eats or afterward?”

“Perhaps I’ll give him the food to him and leave before going back.” Nodding, she tells you where to find his food in the cafeteria. Wasting no time, you move to the location she told you to.

~~~

Upon finding what you're sure is his food, you grab the plate and his drink, keeping your clipboard under your arm. You pass by nurses, patients, and kitchen staff as you walk back to 105. The feeling of your heart beating against your ribs has your nerves running hot. You remember how angry he was yesterday, and while you were on edge, you wouldn’t give in to the fear.

KNOCK KNOCK

“Hello? Kidd? I’ve come to bring you lunch. I heard it’s your favorite, cabbage rolls?” Pushing open the door, you're greeted with an even more shocking sight.

There he was, sat in the middle of the room, glaring at you. His amber orbs staring into your soul. His one arm was hooked to a chain that was plated to the wall of his room. The fiery red hair draped down his scarred face. But what got you the most was, no doubt, the expensive black bulky thing around his neck. It didn’t take you long to figure out it was the despicable shock collar that you saw and heard Nurse Mallory talk about.

Putting down his food slowly, your eyes can’t help but focus on the collar. It’s a simple existence infuriating you to your core. You needed to get that off. The collar was horrible enough, so seeing it paired with the chains that kept him restrained only made your blood boil hotter. While you originally wanted to wait till after he ate to fully introduce yourself, you don’t think you could go on for another minute now seeing and knowing about the collar being truly real.

You crouch to his level, trying to seem as unthreatening as possible. The thought of calling security lost on you as the last thing you needed was outside influence.

“Hello Kidd, I’m Dr. (L/N). I’ll be your new psychiatrist, so we're going to be seeing a lot more of each other now, I hope.” Looking down, your gaze meets the raw skin of his neck where the collar is tightly wrapped his neck. 

“Get the fuck out. I don’t need a damn doctor or psychiatrist! I need to be let out of this shit hole!” Jumping a bit, you almost fell over when he spoke so suddenly and aggressively. 

“Woah, hey, okay. I understand you're upset, but can you hear me out real quick? How about you take a bite of your food? If you eat real quick, then we can talk about all that mumbo jumbo?” Lifting your hands up to show no malicious intent, you continue. “Is it okay if I ask you something? Or rather, can I check something?”

“No! Piss off, you stupid bitch! Don’t fucking touch me!” He yells, his chains rattling as he reaches out to grab you, only for the chains to stop him as you aren’t within his reach. Angry, he grabs his drink and throws it at you.

Thankfully, you managed to duck in time for it to crash against the door. The water cup slammed against the metal door and discarding its contents. 

‘Jesus! Glad it was just water in a paper cup.’ Turning your gaze back to Kidd, you see him grab another handful of food to throw at you.

“Woah! Hey, let’s not do that! I’ll leave, I’ll leave, okay? Just eat your food, okay? I don’t want you to waste it and have to go hungry.” Taking steps back, you kept eye contact with Kidd. His blazing glare against your hesitant one. The lack of progress was upsetting you. You desperately wanted to go up to him and take off that collar around his neck, but you didn’t want to upset him more. So, with a sigh and a heavy heart, you grab the discarded water cup.

“I’ll have someone else bring you water. Until next time, Kidd.” Opening the door, you leave the hostile man’s room. Grabbing your walkie-talkie, you turn it on.

“Hello? This is Dr. (L/N). 105 needs a new water cup. I accidentally dropped it on my way to give him his food.”

“I’ll be right there! Worry not Dr. (L/N)!” Nurse Mallory’s voice comes through the radio.

“Thank you.” Ending the conversation, you put it back in your pocket and wait for her to arrive. Stress and worry are biting you as you can only imagine the last patient of the day would bring. 

‘That last interaction was my fault. I let my emotions get the best of me, and I pushed too much for a man who’d never met me. I should have known I wouldn’t have gotten the collar off today by myself. And I highly doubt the security guards will help me take it off if they’ve been okay with him having it on.’ Rubbing your face, you sigh and take a deep breath to calm you down. ‘Okay. Get your shit together (Y/N). I can’t be letting myself get swayed by emotions when dealing with already emotionally unstable patients. Step by step, no matter how little.’

[sonicthehedgehoglover2]

Hello, it's your favorite anon, with new ideas for this AU with the Player. Small ideas, Angst, and other delights of existence. But everything is as usual. So. We know that in ISAT everything that happens on the screen is canon, And profiles and buttons, and the tutorial, and how everything affects the world, and levels and problems … And I thought. Why not make the "PLAYERS" canon for this world? just some entities that are not very well known but in principle there were some records about it? those who are known by many names. In short, just curious entities that whether you want it or not but will lead you to your goal. And now it just sometimes … Happens? (Perhaps also known as ending expressions? or something like that?) and people have heard something about these someone who will lead you through everything … And apparently they like to run? (and the price for this help that they provide are quite such nightmares, in which you see how everything could go wrong? (And in fact, people just replay the game to get easter eggs, or favorite fights …) So very dubious someone, but sometimes necessary … And they can also be scared off if you acknowledge their existence so they are also quite timid????????) And I just … thought a little, because even the presence of the player for ISAT siffrin can be explained with the help of Wishcraft. asked for help? Get help! And Loop is here to help! … Yes, Stardust will now not be able to dodge accusations that he is the favorite of the Universe. …I can now imagine a classic post canon fic where Siffrin has to come to terms not only with the fact that it's finally over, but also with the loss of two of his closest comrades who were with him throughout his cycles (imagine Siffrin was given the option to use a knife but never used it on himself, but also didn't give it up when Loop offered to remove the feature??? I don't know, I just think it's a bit of an underused feature) And just… try to imagine what it's like to have someone who can't communicate with you, but if you know they're there, you can sense their intentions? And just… What must it feel like to lose that constant presence in the back of your mind? What must it feel like to… lose that color whose name you never bothered to learn? … And of course, their whole canonical longing for Loop (an entity not an event). I don't know, it's just… there's something that particularly fascinates me about the concept of the player as something not entirely pleasant… But not absolute evil either. Just… Something alive. Something to miss. Something… worth remembering. Yeah. I'm going into uninvited worldbuilding again. Oh well. Let's enjoy this uninvited worldbuilding while it lasts) (i sorry for lacking of structure... i just afraid that if i will add structure, this post will ends up being eaten and non exsisting)

I very much want Players to be canon. I like the idea of them being associated with the Universe - or a part of the Universe itself - that have a whole backstory and everything. Like, helping those who are lost or something like that.

I feel Siffrin's feelings for the Player, specifically, depends on the actions of the Player. (You know just like in Undertale where you're able to alter the ending to the game and your relationship with other characters based on your actions). If you're nice, in a way, to Siffrin, then he's more likely to see you as friendly. But say, for example - and definitely not something I might write in the future - the Player chooses to have Siffrin use the dagger a lot, even when there's better options near by. Or, if the Player refuses to let Siffrin make his own choices every now and then. Siffrin may feel that the Player seems them as an object.

But, if the Player does the "right" thing, then Siffrin may, as you say, view them as someone to miss when everything's over.

Also, I do like your thoughts. You're welcome to worldbuild on this as much as you like.

[giggly-squiggily]

Excuse me while I literally scream-

I have found what I deem to be the cutest tickle scene ever

(Spoilers for Cupid Parasite Sweet and Spicy Darling under the cut!)

ALLAN IS TICKLISH AHHH 😭😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

HELP I CANNOT- HE’S GOT A LOUD LAUGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AHZNANZNWNS 😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🥰🥰🥰🥰

I mean- I already loved him before discovering this but YALL- 😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Excuse me while I plan and write all the Lee!Allan fics upon discovering this I am literally on cloud nine this was so freaking CUTE-

[vaguely-concerned]

one thing I have to keep reremembering every time I'm playing a soulslike/similar kind of difficult game -- and that I wish I could internalize elsewhere in my life as well -- is that you always, always have to suffer through the long dark of an inexplicable failcringe era before you can emerge into a fresh new dawn of competence. faceplanting into humiliating failure in ways you hadn't even conceived of before on a loop can sometimes be the herald of great and wondrous things to come soon. don't be so quick to abandon yourself in the early murk of daybreak because you think you just suck!!!

[beanbeanbee]

Deadass weeping after watching the Ōkami Sequel trailer. Like I don't even care if anyone following me goes here or not this is the only thing I'll be thinking about for the next month. Amaterasu. Ammy. Bby girl.

[sortanonymous]

Everybody: "Sure, the Angry Birds fandom is annoying with how much they've shouted "BringBack2012", but at least they're not queerphobic!

Me: "Just look at the comments under all their Pride posts (at least on YouTube) and see if you're still right."

[kenzan-kiwami]

to be completely frank i think most of the people i've seen with major complaints regarding RGG 8's story are forgetting that 99% of what they're saying can be applied across the whole series

[aymayzing]

Lys Lavellan, you will always be famous

[makuta-kotok]

guys I think I don’t like Cult of The Lamb anymore

[crows-of-buckets]

I need to draw my rook bc I actually do have some ideas for them I just. Have NOT been in a creating mood idk I'm so tired... Aoughgggh

[elegyofthemoon]

ok but i'm just thinking about one of the memory logs for sakura and how mobius tells sakura that what happened to her after her mantis surgery is at least better than what happened to both mobius and kevin after theirs, but from then on, sakura is no longer human and no one else will look at her like a human like before

then you timeskip over to when sakura is trying to save rin from MOTH, and she's arguing with kevin about how the MANTIS soldiers will always be outsiders and a threat to MOTHs because of the surgery. and how this treatment is what makes sakura afraid for rin and inevitably leads to her doom i :(

[eyepatchdate]

smtiv finished once again. I love this game so much, especially neutral route. I did all the quests and a lot of unnecessary stuff for fun. I spent. 70 hours in this replay.

[vulpixelates]

the monday blues are getting me especially hard after a four day weekend of being curled up in bed and playing pretend with my wife 😔😔

daydreaming about the lesbians in our heads SAVE ME

[danceswithdarkspawn]

So I had a thought the other day about making Leliana Divine if you killed her in Origins. Like, the running theory is that the 'Leliana' in DA2 and Inquisition is a lyrium ghost, right? (or a spirit ala Cole but anyway)

Like...do lyrium ghosts...die??? Or dissipate? Or whatever???

So like, if you make a lyrium ghost Divine, is it just gonna sit on the Sunburst Throne for a hella long time? Or after a while does the lyrium ghost create some circumstance to dispose of itself (faking death, disappearing, etc.)?

And that's the other thing: do they age? Do they die? I imagine after a few decades on the Sunburst Throne people are gonna look at their Divine and go, 'Gee Divine Victoria sure looks young to be in her 70s/80s'

Anyway these are thoughts that would not leave me alone

[zemnarihah]

the thing is i'm so ready for this semester to be over buuuut i really don't want to go on summer break... maybe it would be nice if i didn't have to work but like. lol. basically i just hate the feeling of not really relaxing but not having a structured way to work on my actual goals and interests.