#I still have some pictures to go through and post

[kinardsevan]

i wrote a whole ass psychology breakdown (for the first time in FOREVER) about the break-up. enjoy (if you so choose):

so I've been reading a lot in relation to Tommy's speech during the break-up (and have actually gotten through the scene several times now, mostly as a creative reference for these fix-it fics. I think one of the first things that I've seen completely tossed aside (that bothers the shit out of me as someone with over a decade of therapy treatment and a psychology degree) is whatever trauma Tommy carries.

We know that there are issues with his dad. We know Lou's lore behind him is that he spent a lot of his childhood alone. We don't know anything in relation to his mom, but she may or may not be the cause of more trauma. We know that his way of dealing with abuse of authority is to shut down and follow the leader, which is likely a mix of his military time and growing up in his father's household (and when I say this, I mean from what we saw of him under Gerrard's command). This is a person who has put years into getting himself into some version of okay after all that he's endured, and we know he still generally does it on his own.

To that end, here, have my breakdown of the break up (roughly right about the time Buck says "I want you to move in with me"). (with pictures!)

Prior to the offer, we watch Tommy process through Evan's explanation about his relationship with Abby, things being transformative for him, etc. We have to bare in mind that this is where we also start to get what I've dubbed "starry-eyed Buck". He's so in the throes of what he's saying that I don't think he's really considering the connotation of his words. At the same time, Tommy doesn't know what lore Evan is about to drop him about this prior relationship. Remember that he now has to contend with the fact that they both have strong opinions on their relations toward Abby, and Tommy can't know if their feelings toward her as a person will be the same. I think Lou played this beautifully, appearing anxious and apprehensive as Tommy listened to Evan explain that Abby was transformative for him. Then he shifts into how Tommy has been transformative for him (which, he has, and we as the audience know this, but we understand it from a bigger POV than what Evan is saying with his words.)

There have been posts about Evan putting Tommy up on a pedestal throughout this speech (and really, possibly even sooner, but this is where we really get it expressed). Tommy tries to rectify this to a degree by countering "I wasn't always that way".

To that end, we then get Evan telling him "I know, and it just makes me admire you more." Tommy gives a bashful smile, clearly heartened by the statement, and even opening his mouth as though he's going to respond to it in some form. It would be interesting to know what was on Lou's mind of what (if anything) he thought would've been said there. Are there lines that were removed in this scene? Was 'I love you' actually going to come up? We can't really know. However, there's this part of me that thinks that Tommy thought that they were having a discussion on the depth of their relationship which would've possibly brought those 7 letters to the equation. Either way, this entire bit of facial acting is SO important, because it speaks volumes about how Tommy feels about how Evan feels about him.

From there we get the "I want you to move in with me, and this, THIS, THIS is such an important point for this ENTIRE scene. It's two seconds, but it holds SO much for the narrative. This man, who seems to be on the verge of ...something, clearly (who knows if I Love You was on his mind, or if it was just the fact that Evan was expressing how much he cares about him.) The reason this is all so important is THIS REACTION:

Now again, we don't know Tommy's trauma, but the joy literally drops out of his expression and shifts to panic. Now, speaking solely from the standpoint that these two haven't even said "I love you" yet, his boyfriend steamrolled over him from a possible declaration of love straight to moving in together without discussing semantics. Further, it's not even "I want to live together", it's "move in with me". We don't know much about Tommy's house (because these shitheads haven't built him a set yet), but we know that he has a HOUSE. With a GARAGE. Buck lives in a LOFT. Regardless of how much of an asshole this makes me sound like, it's crawling with red flags. It comes across as "fit more into my life" instead of "lets do this thing together". Further, if that's not bad enough, mention of getting engaged and married is thrown at Tommy as well, which holds two major bits of information: One, these are on Evan's mind. We've NEVER heard him talk about getting engaged or married to anyone. This speaks to the importance of their relationship to him, but the lack of I Love You also speaks on his own trauma. If we truly are getting the rom-com trope, at some point there's likely to be a conversation about why he lept over it (*cough* Taylor, his parents *cough cough*). Meanwhile, as he's continued in his starry-eyed speech, this is what Tommy is giving:

Now for those who don't know how to spot it, this my friends is a PANIC RESPONSE. The shift forward, the move to get up, the literal deep breath. He's having a panic attack. Now, obviously we don't know what brought this on, but god-willing, we WILL get the answers.

Now, to his own point, Tommy doesn't just straight up pop Evan's pink bubble. He does express that it's a sweet sentiment, but that it's a bad idea. To which point we get:

"Evan, that is so sweet. But I can't move in with you." "And why not?" Because. I know how this ends." "Uh, what-what's that supposed to mean?"

At which point, we clearly get the qualities about Evan that Tommy likes. "Incredible guy. Big-hearted. Hot as hell. Impulsive." I don't feel that the expression here matters as much as his tone of voice, because we can see on his face that he's expressing these qualities from a good place. The next point of reference isn't until Tommy's next line, when he says that Evan's reaction is out of things being "new and exciting".

To that end, the way Evan is talking to him makes this statement valid. He's not talking to Tommy like they've been together for six months and have built a relationship that should be moving in this direction. (For the tenth time I will repeat, he couldn't even dignify whether he was in love with Tommy when Josh asked).

Furthermore, I think when you consider this part of the scene, you also have to consider the strain in Tommy's voice. Something about those concepts (living together, getting engaged, married) is terrifying. It definitely gives the impression that Tommy has been faced with some version of this before and he got burned. Why is this important? Because of this:

"I'm saying no matter how bad I want it to be, I'm not your last." Those 9 words are important on their own, but when you couple them with the expression on Tommy's face and what we've just seen him go through, there's a clear point to the fact that he's been through this before. I also think that there can't be enough importance placed on the way he intonates "how bad". This is not a man saying no because he doesn't want to. He's backpedaling because he's sure that he's going to get burned. We get this point further driven home with this exchange:

"I'm your first." "But hey, they can be the same thing." "But, they usually aren't."

See this doesn't read to me as someone who's scared because he knows Evan has never been with another man. They're both fully grown adults who have had multiple relationships. What this speaks to me (now) as, is someone who has let someone convince him before that he would be their forever, that they were all in, and then broke him. When you include his childhood trauma and whatever abandonment issues it's left him with in correlation with all of this, yes, it's still an extremely biphobic set of lines. But in the context of what he's expressing and why, it's not about telling Evan he needs more experience, it's about telling him that he doesn't believe that he'll want to stay settled down with him six months, a year, etc., down the road. And THAT my friends, is abandonment issues 101. "Everyone else has left, so it doesn't matter that I'm in love with you, because you will leave too, and I need to protect myself from that."

Following that, we get this: "if I were to move in with you, you wouldn't mean to, you wouldn't plan for it, but you'd end up breaking my heart."

This line is SO important, right next to Evan's exchange with Josh about his relationship with Tommy. Why? Because even though neither of them have said it, it spells out that these two are in fact in love with each other, even if they haven't said it.

"I don't think I could deal with that." Tommy is fucking GONE on him. He's expressing that if he gave himself fully over to what Evan's referring to, losing him would break him. Again, we don't have the full picture on his trauma, but we know there's a mountain there. It's also worth noting again, that the intonation he uses in these statements clearly come across as someone trying to reign in their emotions and keep it together. That says to me that we're dangeously close to touching his trauma.

I don't feel like I have to include the final few bits of the scene in gifs because they're all over the site now, but the next line gives over the fact that he hasn't really been open about his trauma to Evan, given that his immediate response to expressing all of this is "I should go". This kind of reaction is generally brought on as not being accepted for having certain feelings. Now, obviously Evan is caught off guard by the entire interaction, the same way Tommy was (but for different reasons), so we have to take all of that into account when we think about the fact that instead of countering Tommy's logic, he asks instead if Tommy is breaking up with him.

Body language is also so important here for Tommy. His shoulders are hunched in, we see him wipe his face (meaning there are likely tears), and when he turns around, he's so caught up in whatever wave has taken him over that it takes Evan asking him for Tommy to state "yeah, I guess I did" about breaking up. Further, there's the fact that he states that he didn't see the break-up coming, which goes back to my point at the top of this post, that he clearly thought the conversation was going one direction, and instead it goes the other. From this point, we have Evan reeling, because he wants to create more of a life with Tommy, while Tommy is shutting down because of whatever is holding him back.

Finally, as I've referenced before, we get this line:

"Should've known that parking spot was too good to be true."

That line makes zero sense out of context, but in consideration of someone trying to lighten the weight they're carrying (which you can literally see by the way he has his hand on his neck, which you generally only see people do as a stress response). You can also double entendre this statement that getting to be with Evan was too good to be true. We get that little inhale with the smile, and I swear to God the only time I've seen that kind of reaction is right before someone cracks.

And then in closing, we get the "I'll see you 'round, Buck," our closing gut punch. Evan is still reeling, clearly. His face is very "what the hell just happened". Tommy is clearly not okay. This entire scene has opened an entire can of worms on them without a whole lot of answers.

Now, I've owned the fact that basically from the end of 806, I felt like this had to be a swerve, and that there has to be more to the story. I've also pretty much owned the fact that if the writers did actually just do this for kicks and don't have a resolution for it, I may not keep watching. However, in the context of the fact that, for the moment, I'm choosing to put hope in some kind of resolution, these lines make so much more sense. It is worth noting though, most people in the fandom, let alone the general audience, aren't going to psychologically break this shit down line-by-line. They're not going to lean into whatever trauma Tommy has that we don't know about yet. Its why the internet has been a mess since Thursday night. But it's also why I talk about how, when this situation gets resolved (because right now I refuse to say if), Buck has to give up the loft and give more of himself. Tommy, by the nature of the show, has fully immersed himself in Evan's life, but we haven't seen or heard mention of Evan doing so at all in Tommy's life. That doesn't mean he hasn't, but we haven't gotten any version of that. So when I say Evan needs to give things up... it's about matching what he's asking Tommy to give up. Because at the end of the day, when this circles back around, he's effectively going to be asking Tommy to trust that he won't break his heart like others have, and when you have a lifetime of abandonment issues and have learned to cope by being hyper-independent and alone, moving in the opposite direction is more terrifying than anything else. ESPECIALLY when you love that person, which we saw Tommy spell out. Evan has the ability to break him (and probably already is via this cut-off-at-the-quick break up.)

So, I'm really gonna need these shit heads to figure out that they'll be more miserable apart than they'd ever be together.

That's all. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[midzandrist]

bitter sweet ─── kim minji.

a/n: of any of you have seen this post before, i want to clarify that it is mine, i just re-uploaded it because the previous one had some spelling errors!!

synopsis: while digging through your childhood closet at your mother’s house, you stumble upon a treasure trove of bittersweet mementos from your past relationship with your ex-girlfriend, compelling you to confront the choices you've made and the love that might still linger in your heart.

warnings: angst, fluff sometimes.

word count: 7.2k

you are driving down a familiar road, the one that leads to your mother’s house, a route steeped in memories. it's a journey you've made countless times, but today holds a different purpose. it’s been years since you moved out into an apartment of your own, and your childhood room has remained almost untouched, like a time capsule. nostalgia tugs at your heartstrings as you contemplate the old toys, clothes, and relics of your youth that await you. today, you plan to clean, to sort, and perhaps to rediscover parts of yourself you thought long buried.

as you pull into the driveway, the house comes into view, and the sight invites a flood of emotions. there are the shutters painted a cheerful yellow and the garden neatly trimmed by your mother’s diligent hands. you can almost hear the laughter and shouts echoing through the years, memories of barbecues and holiday celebrations flickering in your mind.

you lift your hand to knock on the door, but as it swings open, you are greeted with warmth and familiarity. your mother, clad in an apron dusted with flour, beams at you. “look who’s here! welcome home, darling!” she exclaims, ushering you inside as the rich aroma of baked goods fills the air.

“smells amazing! what are you baking?” you ask, your heart warming at the sight of her.

“just some cookies,” she replies, her eyes sparkling. “i’ll make you a cup of coffee while you get settled. go ahead and get comfortable!”

you watch her bustle back to the kitchen, momentarily caught up in the joy of being in this nurturing space. as you climb the familiar stairs, the wooden steps squeak softly beneath your feet, a sound that brings back a flurry of childhood memories—playing hide-and-seek, running up with your friends, and the occasional scolding for making too much noise.

the hallway is adorned with family photos: snapshots of birthday parties, holidays, and milestones, each one whispering tales of love and laughter. you pause to admire a picture where you are grinning widely, cupcake frosting on your nose, a reminder of simpler times.

when you reach your room, you hesitate at the door. a small part of you wants to turn back, to avoid the flood of emotions waiting inside. but curiosity compels you to open the door. as you step in, a smile dances across your face, and a twinge of embarrassment washes over you. everything feels so achingly familiar.

your bed remains adorned with the same princess sheets you've cherished your whole life—yes, you still used them as a teenager because they were so comfortable! the walls, painted your favorite pastel, have not changed, and neither have the shelves packed with stuffed animals, each one a gift from family, friends, or even random encounters. they are memories stitched in soft fabric, guardians of your childhood.

you wander over to the closet, the sliding doors gliding open with ease. it’s a treasure chest of old clothes, some you’ve outgrown, while others are relics of styles you once adored but have since outgrown. you begin sorting through the hangers, deciding which clothes to donate and which might find a new life with your little cousins.

among the chaos of shirts and old dance costumes, one box catches your eye. it stands out against the bright colors of your clothes, wrapped in delicate white paper covered in charming little hearts. curiosity piqued, you pull the box from the clutter, holding it in your lap as you sit on the edge of your bed.

taking a deep breath, you reach for your trusty box cutter, carefully slicing the tape without tearing the paper. what you find inside takes your breath away.

it’s the box filled with memories from your relationship with minji, your ex-girlfriend. you hadn’t thought about those days in a while, but opening this box sends you spiraling into a whirlwind of emotions. how could you forget the delicate bracelet she made you, each bead representing a moment shared between the two of you? next to it lies a crumpled concert ticket—her favorite band, the one you both danced and sang along to, lost in the electric atmosphere, her voice mixing with the music as you both laughed and swayed.

your heart quickens as you delve deeper, pulling out notes she had written late into the night, filled with confessions and dreams you once shared under quiet stars. but what hits hardest are the photographs that make you remember old memories—snaps of a summer spent together, ones that showcase radiant smiles and sun-kissed skin. the carefree days roaming the park, fingers intertwined, the laughter, feeling invincible. as you sift through these memories, the pain of their absence washes over you, flooding your heart. that last summer together feels like an eternity ago, yet its echo reverberates in the chambers of your chest.

you don't know why you do it, but you decide to investigate the things that are now memories of those moments.

i. plane tickets.

you sit on minji's bed, your phone in hand, scrolling through the endless abyss of social media. a faint glow emanates from the computer screen perched on her desk, illuminating the small space and painting shadows across the walls. it's late, the hours slipping by like grains of sand. the air is thick with the quiet murmur of night, and the only sound is the gentle whir of the fan above.

minji is sitting in her chair, the light casting a soft halo around her, making her look absolutely luminous. the glow from the screen reflects in her glasses, which are perched neatly on her nose, accentuating the delicate features of her face. it's a sight that makes your heart race and dulls your wits all at once. she pulls her attention away from the screen to look at you, a curious expression crossing her face.

"where do you think we should go on vacation this summer?" she asks, the corners of her mouth twitching into a smile — the kind that always makes your insides flip.

you momentarily lose your train of thought, caught off guard by the question. the truth is, you hadn’t considered it much. your head is still buzzing from the concert you both went to last week and the dread of final exams looming ahead. it's so easy to get caught in the web of everyday stress that thoughts of a getaway seem like an indulgent daydream. still, you don’t want her to see you dismissing it so carelessly.

you glance back at your phone and mutter something vague, “i don’t know, maybe somewhere nice?” your attention drifts back to the glowing screen in your palm, half-expecting her to let it slide. but minji is not one to pass up on an opportunity for a genuine conversation, particularly one involving the two of you. you feel her eyes drilling into you, silently trying to uncover your reluctance.

she pivots in her chair, so all you can see are her soft brown eyes framed by those stylish frames. you can almost hear the gears in her mind working, seeking answers. god, she looks breathtaking like this, her shiny black hair piled up in a messy bun, loose strands accentuating her elegant silhouette. there’s something enchanting about the way she engages with you, as if every discussion holds the weight of the universe.

she breaks the silence first, “oh, come on, babe! there must be something on your mind.” you fidget under her gaze. how can she be so effortlessly captivating? admitting it to her is like cracking open a treasure chest flooded with your deepest affections and fears.

eventually, you take a deep breath and decide to confide in her. “okay, fine. i’ve been thinking about hawaii,” you confess, your cheeks warming slightly as you say it.

her reaction is instantaneous. that soft giggle escapes her lips, and your heart skips a beat. she tilts her head, arching an eyebrow. her look is playful, teasing, as if she knows exactly the power she has over you. “hawaii? really? is it because of the movies and stuff? you’re such a cliché!” she quips, but there's no malice in her tone, only mischief.

a flush creeps onto your cheeks. it’s true; the romanticized idea of hawaii, with its pristine beaches and lush greenery, has been at the back of your mind. but admitting that feels like exposing a part of yourself that’s vulnerable to her judgment. “okay, maybe a little,” you admit sheepishly, your heart thrumming at the thought of escaping to an island paradise with her. “look, don’t judge me. i know it sounds cliché, but it’s not just about the movies. i’ve been curious about it for so long. the beaches, the culture, the sunsets… and experiencing all of that with you? i really would love to explore it with you. i think it would be amazing.”

for a moment, her gaze softens, warmth enveloping you. “it would be amazing,” she echoes, and the sincerity in her voice makes your chest tighten with hope. you can almost imagine it: the two of you walking hand-in-hand along the sandy shores, the turquoise waves lapping at your feet, laughter bubbling between you. “hawaii it is then!”

the computer glows faintly, illuminating her features in a soft, ethereal light. her glasses reflect both the screen’s radiance and the glimmer of curiosity in her eyes. you find yourself captivated, caught between admiration and uncertainty, swept up in the delicate way her black hair is haphazardly arranged and the faint smudge of her eyeliner that makes her look almost like an art piece—imperfectly perfect.

before your brain can fully catch up with the spontaneous decision, minji’s fingers are dancing over the keyboard, the rhythmic click-clacking filling the room. you watch her with rapt attention, caught in the elegance of her movements, mesmerized by the ease with which she navigates the virtual landscape.

minutes pass as she navigates the various options—flights, hotels, excursions—her enthusiasm infectious. you begin to imagine the golden sand beneath your feet, the sound of waves lapping gently against the shore, and the way the sun will warm your skin while you sip ice-cold coconut water.

with a few clicks, minji navigates through pages, her focus unwavering. you lean slightly closer, unable to resist the magnetic pull of her enthusiasm. when she finds the flights, she glances at you with excitement sparkling in her eyes. “look! this one is perfect and not too expensive," she exclaims, her voice ringing with joy.

your heart swells at the thought of minji, so invested and excited about the trip. you nod, surrendering to the flow of her excitement as she proceeds to enter her payment details, a confident smile plastered across her face. the anticipation is palpable, wrapping around both of you.

as the computer processes the payment, you feel a mix of excitement and nervousness bubbling inside you. the thought of being in hawaii together feels like a promise of freedom—a chance to break free from routine and simply be with each other, free from obligations.

a moment passes, and then the screen lights up again, confirming your reservation. minji squeals, throwing her hands up in victory, and you can’t help but laugh along with her. “we did it! we’re going to hawaii!” there’s a jubilant glimmer in her eyes that makes your heart swell.

the reality of the adventure dawns on you like the first rays of sunlight breaking through a stormy sky. a smile spreads across your face, a blend of shock and joy. “wait, you really did? just like that?”

she turns around to face you completely, her chair revolving with enthusiasm. “just like that! don’t you realize how easy it can be? all we have to do is show up!” her eyes sparkle as if hinting at adventures that await on shores far away.

a small gasp escapes your lips, excitement bubbling within you. “oh my god. it’s happening. we’re really going!” you leap off the bed, excitement propelling your movements as you wrap her in a tight embrace, the warmth of her body grounding you in the reality of this dream.

“thank you for convincing me,” you whisper, looking deep into her eyes, “for believing in the dream.”

she smirks, playfully nudging your shoulder. “oh, don’t thank me yet. just wait until we’re hiking up to diamond head or laying on the beach, and i’m making fun of your sunburned nose.”

ii. a polaroid on the plane.

the airplane cabin hummed softly, a mechanical lullaby that both soothed and unsettled you. as the plane taxied down the runway, the anticipation of flight churned in your stomach. this was your first time traveling by plane, and the unfamiliarity of it all made you feel small, almost like a child again. you leaned your head against the cushioned headrest, your heart thumping a little too loudly in your chest.

your gaze drifted to the window, but the sight of the ground receding and the horizon stretching far beyond made you feel dizzy. just then, you turned away from the window, seeking solace in the familiar warmth of your girlfriend, minji, sitting beside you. she was tapping away on her laptop, completely absorbed in whatever project had captured her attention. her presence was a comfort, and you wanted to reach out to her.

minji, with her long hair cascading over her shoulder, sensed your discomfort. she paused, her eyes darting toward you, filled with concern. “baby,” she said softly, closing her laptop and shifting her attention fully to you. "are you sure you're okay?”

you forced a nod, not trusting your voice to silence the tremors. your head is still resting against the cushioned headrest, surrendering to the moment, but your heart raced like the engines’ roar. it was all too new, too dizzying, and you felt vulnerable floating amidst the clouds.

“look at me,” she said gently, tilting her head to catch your eyes. “nothing bad is going to happen. we’re safe up here.”

you felt her take your hand, her fingers curling around it with a gentle firmness. the warmth of her touch seeped into your skin and chased away the chill of anxiety that had settled there. she began to massage your palm with her thumb, and though you still felt the tension in your chest, her soothing gestures offered a small reprieve.

“nothing bad is going to happen,” minji repeats to you again. her voice was calm, like a gentle stream, and it washed over your worries. “just close your eyes for a bit. you’ll feel better, i promise.”

her voice was soothing, wrapping around you like a safety net. “just breathe with me,” she instructed, and you followed along, inhaling deeply, then exhaling slowly.

with each breath, the tension in your body began to loosen, even as the plane lifted higher into the sky. you leaned into her side, comforted by her warmth.

with her encouragement, you slowly began to relax. the aircraft’s engines roared as it powered down the runway, and you squeezed her hand tighter, but instead of fear, you felt a burgeoning sense of trust in her presence.

as the plane lifted off the ground, a thrilling rush engulfed you, but with minji’s hand in yours, anxiety started to dissipate. you took a deep breath, the cool airline air filling your lungs, and then you let it out slowly.

“you should sleep,” minji murmured, and her voice felt like a warm blanket wrapping around you.

you hesitated, glancing out the window once more, the clouds beginning to roll beneath you, fluffy and white. it was beautiful, but the beauty felt distant, overshadowed by your anxiety. yet, with minji beside you, her calming energy made surrendering to sleep seem a little more possible.

a few minutes later, your eyelids grow heavy. the steady rhythm of her thumb against your palm lulled you further, your worries fading along with the world outside. you couldn’t help but let go.

you abandoned the tension, letting yourself drift off, lulled by the rhythmic hum of the airplane engines and the comforting presence of minji beside you. just before you slipped entirely into slumber, you heard her whisper, “sweet dreams.” a soft brush of her lips touched your cheek, leaving a lingering warmth—and unbeknownst to both of you, a bright red mark from her lipstick.

while you slept, minji couldn’t help but smile at the sight of you, peaceful and vulnerable. she reached into her bag for her instant camera, knowing this moment was one worth capturing. clicking the shutter, she watched as the familiar white rectangle emerged from the front of the camera, the image gradually developing to reveal you nestled against the seat, her kiss on your cheek a bright reminder of her love.

minji chuckled softly to herself at how adorable you looked, the lipstick mark making you seem even more endearing. once the polaroid was fully developed, she held it up to admire the warmth of your expression, a pure moment of tenderness that she wanted to remember forever. in her heart, it was a badge of honor, a testament to her love, a symbol of comfort wrapped in a kiss.

minji leaned in, planting another kiss on your forehead before returning to her seat, the photo tucked safely in her pocket. she gives you one last look full of love and affection, then returns her attention to her laptop.

iii. the "lucky charm" coconut keychain.

the sun beats down on you as the two of you walk along the bustling streets of waikiki, a blend of tourists and locals enveloping you in a chaotic yet vibrant atmosphere. you squint at the horizon where the ocean sparkles, wishfully imagining the gentle waves and warm sand beneath your toes.

but here you are, walking with minji to rent a car that you doubt is even necessary.

renting a car seems unnecessary to you—especially in hawaii, where the beach isn’t far from your hotel, and enjoying the warm breeze as you stroll hand-in-hand feels more romantic than navigating through traffic. regardless, here you are, headed to the rental agency after yet another discussion about what constitutes an ideal beach day.

you can feel the heat of the pavement radiating through your sandals as you whine, “why do we even need a car, minji? we could just walk to the beach. it's only a few blocks away!”

with a laugh, she looks at you sideways, the glint in her eye promising mischief. “oh come on! i don’t plan on walking all day. if i have to deal with your annoying ass in this heat, i might regret it!” she pokes your side lightly, and a smile breaks through your complaining facade.

you can’t help but huff in response, a mix of warmth from her playful banter and annoyance at the heat radiating off the concrete beneath your feet. each step feels like it takes a monumental effort, and you can’t shake the thought that you could have been lounging on the beach already. “but it’s so hot,” you counter, trying to mask your fatigue behind a passive-aggressive pouting.

the two of you pause at the crosswalk, and you catch a glimpse of the rental agency sign barely visible amidst the swaying palms. as you wait for the light to change, your eyes narrow against the sun. you momentarily lose track of her as the heat hits you—a palpable wave that weighs heavy on your skin.

“maybe i’m just a little cranky,” you concede, squinting up at her. “but you know, this could have waited until after the beach.”

before you can elaborate on how you’d rather be frolicking in the waves than walking under the sun, minji suddenly spins towards you. she takes you by the wrist, her fingers warm against your skin.

“listen,” she says, lifting your spirits with her smile. “just trust me.” there’s a shining determination in her gaze, so you relent—almost rebelliously. and then she leans in, kissing you softly. the world narrows until it’s just the two of you, her lips pressing against yours melting all complaints away.

when she pulls back, her confession surprises you. “i’ve always wanted to take you to the beach. ever since i got my driver’s license, this moment was the first thing i thought of.”

your heart swells at her words, and you can’t help but smile back, feeling as if you had just won the lottery of love. minji’s enthusiasm, her pure joy, makes it impossible to stay irritable. the idea of her planning this little excursion—her first real drive as an independent woman—sends a thrill through you.

the thought of a romantic beach ride, the sun warming your backs, and the waves lapping at the shore, finally feels tangible. "you really had this planned?" you ask, feeling butterflies flutter in your stomach. you watch her, marveling at the sincerity and excitement shining in her eyes.

“yeah,” she beams, and you can’t help but grin back at her as you watch the way her smile lights up the entire world around you.

as she fills out the paperwork and exchanges details with the rental agent, you stand nearby, casually leaning against the counter. you can’t help but admire her; she’s focused, glowing in the sunlight streaming through the office window, and you feel like a lovesick puppy.

your heart races; it’s as if the most picturesque sunset were unfolding right in front of you. you catch glimpses of her full concentration, the way her tongue peeks out slightly as she writes, and you can’t help but think how lucky you are.

she notices your lingering gaze, the smirk twitching at the corners of her lips. even while focused on the paperwork, she feels your eyes on her like an open book. the atmosphere around you buzzes with her quiet confidence, and you revel in it.

“you're ridiculous,” she says playfully, catching you staring. you burst into laughter, mocking your own pads of devotion with exaggerated gestures. yet, inside your chest, warmth pools, and you feel content as she finishes.

“got it!” she announces, her voice rising with triumph as she strides out of the office, her fingers wrapping around the sleek car keys like a trophy.

minji flashes a grin that infects your mood. “ready for a ride?” she teases, twirling the keys as you walk towards the car. you roll your eyes but can’t hide the blush creeping onto your cheeks.

inside the vehicle, she takes her place behind the wheel, and you settle into the passenger seat, adjusting your position as the sun spills through the window and warms your skin. the sunbeams highlight her features, the way the light dances off her hair, and for a moment, you’re completely overtaken by how fortunate you are to share this car—and this moment—with her.

there’s something undeniably attractive about her as she grips the steering wheel, her other hand resting on your thigh in a possessive, almost intimate manner. she steals glances, and those fleeting moments are enough to send your heart racing.

before you know it, the sound of tires crunching against gravel leads you to the beach’s entrance. minji turns to you, and with the sunlight painting her features, she looks breathtaking. there’s a hint of playful mischief in her smile as she turns off the ignition.

with determination, she removes her seatbelt and glances down to gather your beach gear—two bags filled with sunscreen, towels, and lunchtime snacks. but your attention is drawn to the keys, dangling from her fingers. they’ve got a ridiculous keychain in the shape of a hawaiian coconut drink, complete with a colorful umbrella, a miniature straw and a beautiful flower.

noticing your gaze, minji chuckles. “do you like it?” she asks, her mouth curving into another smile.

“it's cute,” you admit, laughing at how utterly charming she is.

she plucks the keychain from the keys and tosses it gently into your lap “here, just keep it. i don’t think they’ll mind if a little keyring goes missing.”

you look down at the keychain, surprised by the unexpected gift. “i can’t take this,” you protest, but she waves it off.

“consider it a lucky charm,” she replies, her eyes burning with enthusiasm. “and a reminder of what we’re about to do!”

looking up at her, your heart swells again. “you’re really something else, you know that?” you smile, feeling a warmth radiating from deep within you, thanks to her playful spirit and charisma.

as you both step out of the car, the salty breeze hits your face, and the distant sound of waves crashes joyfully against the shore. minji grabs your hand, pulling you towards the sound, and all your earlier complaints evaporate into thin air. you do not need a car after all; all you need is her.

iv. the flower necklace.

the warmth of the sun blazes overhead, bathing the beach in a golden light that glimmers off the waves rushing to meet the shore. with each step you take, the soft grains of sand squish between your toes, tickling your feet and adding a certain playfulness to the atmosphere. your hand is intertwined with minji’s, and her laughter mingles with the crashing waves, a melody more beautiful than any song.

you stroll alongside her, glancing at the various stalls lining the beach. each one brims with colorful wares, tempting treats, and handmade treasures. the salty breeze carries the scent of coconut and pineapple, and your stomach growls in agreement with the delight of your surroundings. minji tugs on your arm, her enthusiasm infectious, and you both wander from stall to stall, sampling tropical smoothies, fresh fruit skewers, and irresistibly fluffy coconut macaroons.

every few yards, you and minji pause, your excitement bubbling over as you indulge in whatever catches your fancy. a fresh coconut, juice dribbling down your fingers, followed by crispy calamari that crackles with each bite. you share each morsel, your tastes blending as effortlessly as the colors of the sunset overhead. amid the laughter, you find a rhythm—a little dance of spontaneity that sends your spirits soaring.

every few minutes, she catches your eye, a sparkle dancing on her own as she takes delight in your childish excitement. you spot a t-shirt that makes you chuckle, a caricature of a sunbather being chased by a particularly aggressive sand crab. you point it out to her, and she snorts, laughter bubbling out of her like an effervescent drink.

just as you’re finishing a sip of a particularly delicious mango smoothie, something catches your eye. the vibrant colors stand out against the myriad of summer products; delicate flower necklaces, each adorned with blooms that seem to dance in the breeze. your heart skips a beat at the sight. memories rush forward—watching “lilo & stitch” with your younger self, feeling enchanted by the characters draped in beautiful leis, and dreaming of adventure in far-off shores.

without giving it a second thought, you swallow hard, chucking the rest of your smoothie down your throat and then gently tugging on minji’s arm, a grin breaking out across your face. “look!” you exclaim, pointing toward the flower stall, your voice energized with excitement.

minji’s head turns, and you can see the moment an understanding dawns on her face. a giggle escapes her lips, both adorable and infectious. her laughter twirls on the breeze, filling you with warmth. “you want to get one, don’t you?” she teases, her eyes dancing with delight.

you nod, a fit of childish glee erupting within you. “i’ve always wanted one,” you reply, the words tumbling out in a rush. you can’t help but reminisce about the animated characters and sunny beaches from “lilo & stitch.” those images of flower necklaces draped over sun-kissed shoulders and carefree laughter imported into your heart—a wish that was born long ago, now verdantly alive in this moment. “after watching that movie … you know, lilo and stitch? i thought they were the coolest.”

minji watches you with an amused expression as you practically bounce on your heels, determined to fulfill this childhood dream. without a second of hesitation, minji draws you toward the stand, where colorful blooms create a rainbow of choices.

together you begin to examine the array of colors laid out before you. delicate plumerias, bold hibiscus, and vivid orchids jostle for your attention, each a promise of summer.

there are some with bold reds and deep purples, while others boast soft pinks and sunny yellows. scents dance around you as you lean closer, inhaling the fragrance of the flowers, their delicate notes twisted with salty ocean air.

this isn’t just about the necklace—it’s about feeling connected, about this joyful day spent with her.

“what do you think?” minji asks, plucking a necklace of creamy white and soft lavender flowers, a splash of innocence draping over her fingers.

“pretty, but not quite right…” you muse, your fingers brushing over another—a garland of fiery red and deep yellow.

"look at this, baby.” you call her attention to one that’s fully a shade of coral, with hints of pale pink blooms, and she gasps, squeezing your hand tightly. “that one is beautiful!” her excitement washes over you, and you find yourself nodding in agreement.

“i like this one too!” she responds cheerfully, holding up a strand of bright green and pink blooms, but you both know it’s more than just the colors. this is a joint decision, a symbolic choice, deepening the bond you've created together over countless sunsets and shared dreams.

minutes stretch into an eternity as you narrow down your choices. the chaotic energy from the world around you fades into a soft hum, and you lose yourselves in the exploration, each flower carefully considered. all at once, you realize that anyone else might simply choose for themselves, allowing their partner to do the same. but not you two. you want to match, to wear the same reminder of this beach day, this moment of joy—a testament to your unity.

but then, another catches your eye. it mirrors the forming hues of the sunset—oranges, purples and pinks intertwined, a dance of color just as mesmerizing as the sky above. “what about this one?” you suggest, your pulse quickening at the thought of having this vibrant mingling around your neck.

"it's beautiful..." she replies, her tone softening.

“okay… let’s go with the sunset,” you finally whisper, your voice filled with resolution.

“perfect! just like us,” minji beams, and as she hands the vendor the payment, your heart swells. you can’t help but imagine the many more fitting matches you'll create, the many more places you’ll wander together.

you both ponder and banter back and forth over which flowers suit you best, but your taste remains unwavering. the sunset necklace seems to be the perfect fit. finally, with a shared decision solidified by laughter and playful nudges, you approach the vendor and select the shimmering masterpiece draped in the colors of twilight.

with the necklaces around your necks, you step back into the world of glimmering sunlight and lapping waves, both of you grinning like children who’ve just uncovered treasure. you can’t help but feel that this moment—perfectly silly and sweet—is encapsulated by the flowered adornment hanging from your neck. the sun has nearly kissed the horizon, leaving behind a lingering glow that cascades over the ocean and dances in your drink. you sip your coconut smoothie as the taste of tropical goodness fills your mouth, sweet and sincere; you can’t help but smile at the thought of matching necklaces.

as you pass a group of children building sandcastles, minji glances sideways at you, her eyes glinting with playful mischief.

“do you think we’ll look silly wearing these?” she teases, nudging you gently with her shoulder.

you chuckle, shaking your head. “not at all! we look amazing! these flowers make us look like we belong to the beach, like we really have that island spirit.”

she pauses, her gaze drifting back to the vast ocean. “you know, i promise to take you to every beach in existence. we’ll collect memories—shells, snacks, silly souvenirs like these necklaces just to see you smile.”

your heart warms at her words, feeling a rush of affection as the sunset paints both the sky and your life with promises of future adventures. “really? you’ll take me everywhere?” you ask, your voice steadily breathless with the sweetness of her promise.

“everywhere,” she insists, turning to look at you, a determination sparkling in her eyes. “from the beaches of hawaii to the secret coves of thailand, wherever there’s sand and sunshine, i’ll be there with you. just picture it! each time, i’ll buy you something silly—a flower necklace, a coconut drink, everything that brings me your smile. just knowing i could do that will be the best part.”

a laugh bursts from you, a sound of pure happiness resonating against the gentle waves lapping at your feet. you lean in closer to her, the sunset glimmering between you two like a promise sealed in gold. “deal,” you say, “but i get to buy you silly things too! matching sunglasses at every spot!”

you can’t help but chuckle, feeling a powerful feeling build in your chest. the tenderness in her words swaddles you, and you want to drink in this radiant moment, this intertwining of lives, hopes, and dreams, all while the waves lap soothingly at your feet. you look at her, the silhouette outlined against the fiery colors of the sunset fading into dusk.

the beach stretches ahead like a canvas, every step you take is a brushstroke of laughter and affection. you glance down at your matching necklaces, a delightful reminder of the time spent together, a tiny paradise wrapped around your neck.

v. the hibiscus flower and the bag of sand.

the sound of the gentle tide of the sea fills your ears as you lie on the blanket, the cool morning air wrapping around you like a warm embrace. you find yourself next to minji, who is curled up on her side, her eyes sparkling like the ocean waves licking the shore. this moment, just before dawn, is special—just the two of you beneath a canvas of stars and the promise of a new day. you came here to catch the sunrise, but the stillness before the world awakens seems just as gratifying.

a faint orange hue begins to bleed across the horizon, and as you glance toward it, you feel her fingers playing with a small red hibiscus flower. it’s vibrant against the muted white of the blanket, and she gently runs it through her fingers, as if deciding whether to keep it or share it. you close your eyes, absorbing the soft symphony of the sea, but not before catching her gaze fixed on you—an invitation to linger in this shared silence.

while you listen to the ebb and flow of the water, exhaustion nips at your eyelids. the events of the previous night, filled with laughter and play as you splashed amongst the waves, seem to catch up with you. it takes only a moment before you feel the blissful pull toward sleep, but as you drift away, minji’s soft touch brushes against your cheek. it’s a playful gesture, yet one that pulls you back into the moment. you open your eyes just in time to see her tucking a damp strand of hair behind your ear.

“what are you doing?” you ask, your voice a husky whisper, still thick with sleep.

“just admiring your beauty,” she replies, the corners of her mouth curling into that familiar mischievous smile. the warmth in her voice spreads through you, igniting a delightful blush on your cheeks.

her fingers dance to your ear and, with gentle care, she places the hibiscus there, adjusting it until it sits perfectly, a blissful crown of nature’s artistry. you can’t help but smile back, charmed as always by her romantic gestures.

“you know what, baby? it looks better on you,” she says, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “but we should keep it. a little memento of this morning.”

you chuckle, shaking your head. “flowers wither when cut, minji. it’ll probably end up in the bin before the week is out.”

she shrugs, her gaze never leaving yours. “ah, but that’s where you’re wrong! the love i’m giving this flower is so strong, i think it’ll hold onto its beauty. just like my love for you.”

you can practically hear your heart melting at her words. such cheesy remarks usually draw your playful banter, but this time, something shifts within you. it’s as if the tide itself is pulling you deeper toward her, a swell of emotion crashing against all your defenses.

“okay, okay,” you sigh, pretending to be exasperated. “but if it turns brown, i’m blaming you.”

minji giggles—a sound so pure it almost makes the waves pause to listen. you can’t help but feel how lucky you are. moments like this, where laughter dances between you, replace the worries that often plague your mind. after another quiet span, you let the comforting silence wash over you, enveloping both of you in a bubble of serenity.

but just as you’re about to let the silence deepen, minji leans closer, her voice teasingly conspiratorial. “you could also take some sand home. think of it as a souvenir!”

you burst into laughter at the absurdity of it. “sand? are you out of your mind? it smells terrible after a while, and it gets everywhere!”

“exactly!” she pipes up, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “it’s memorable! just like us, a little messy and a lot of fun.”

you find yourself chuckling at her absurdity more than ever, realizing that it’s this very quirkiness that first drew you to her. you grab a handful of soft, glistening sand, letting the grains run through your fingers, contemplating the idea. “okay, but i’m gonna need a bigger bag for this! i don’t want a pocketful of sand giving me a scuffle every time i change pants.”

minji laughs alongside you, her joy infectious. as you tease her, your fingers slip into the sand, and you realize how sacred this moment is. here, in this place far removed from the noise of everyday life, your connection flourishes with every giggle and flick of a sandy finger.

as the horizon erupts into hues of orange and gold, the sun begins to rise, casting a soft glow over the landscape. minji sits up, her eyes focused on the sun breaking free from the ocean, and you can’t help but follow her lead. the beauty of it leaves you breathless—so much more spectacular with her by your side.

“look at that,” you say in awe, gesturing toward the spectrum of colors before you. “it’s almost as beautiful as you.”

she turns to you, her smile wide and her cheeks slightly flushed. “almost?”

you chuckle, folding your arms behind your head as you lean back against the blanket. “i’ll give you that one. you win this round.”

you stop digging, overwhelmed by the cascade of memories flooding your mind: the spontaneous karaoke nights, the whispered secrets under the star-speckled sky, the way she would scrunch her nose when something amused her. all those shared moments now feel like a ghostly echo rather than cherished memories.

tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you remember the way it all came crashing down. the finality of it, the breakup — sharp, sudden, and unyielding. you thought the pain would fade over time, but today, as you sift through the remains of your shared lives, it surfaces anew, raw and pulsing.

and when tears threaten to escape from your eyes, you wipe them hastily, feeling embarrassment swell within you. how ridiculous it is, you think, that just last week you’d been laughing with friends, discussing life’s ups and downs, yet here you are, drawn back into this melancholic spiral. the laughter, all of it, feels like a distant echo, replaced by a deafening silence in your heart.

lost in the mire of your thoughts, you hardly notice the gentle knock on the door. instinctively, you swipe at your eyes and attempt to refocus as if doing so will wash away the sadness.

“sweetheart, the cookies are ready!” your mother’s voice weaves through the door, warm and inviting.

you had almost forgotten that she was baking. It’s her way of comforting you, her quiet attempt to be there despite the distance, the unspoken hurts you both carry. gathering yourself, you wipe away the remaining tears, trying to shake off the heavy feelings that weigh on your chest. you can’t let her see you this way, not now.

“okay, i’ll be down in a minute!” you call back, your voice surprisingly steady despite the turmoil within.

you take a final glance at the box, then close it, as if sealing away the sorrow with your memories. as you step back, it feels like the door to that chapter of your life is slowly closing. you remind yourself that those days were real, that the joy was real, but so was the ending. it's time to move forward.

as you descend the stairwell, the warm aroma of freshly baked cookies fills the air, pulling you from your reverie. your stomach grumbles, but more importantly, you feel the warmth of home enveloping you like a hug.

in the kitchen, your mother stands by the oven, a cheerful smile brightening her face. the familiarity, the routine of this moment is comforting. she glances over her shoulder and notices the shadows lingering in your expression.

“everything okay?” she asks, her brow furrowed with concern.

you hesitate, caught between the urge to confide and the instinct to shield her from your heartache. “yeah, just… looking through some old things,” you finally reply, a touch of variability in your voice but masking the depth of the sentiment.

she approaches, an understanding glimmer in her eyes. “sometimes memories can be bittersweet, can’t they?”

you nod, appreciating the wisdom behind her words, knowing she too has weathered her own storms of nostalgia.

“settle down with some cookies and coffee,” she says with a gentle nudge. “you need a sweet distraction.”

your mother looks at you, her face lighting up with a warmth that melts away some of the coldness inside. “i saved the best batch just for you,” she says, sliding the plate closer.

“thanks, mom,” you mumble, leaning down to take a cookie. the sweetness bursts on your tongue, and for a fleeting moment, everything is good again. you can almost hear your mother recounting the day she taught you how to bake, flour-dusted and mischievously knocking over containers in a fit of laughter. you let the warmth spread through you, memories mingling with the taste of chocolate chips and heavy cream.

and for the moment, the warmth of the kitchen, the sweetness of the cookies, and your mother’s reassurance begins to act as a balm. you realize that healing isn’t linear; it’s a series of moments strung together, a gradual return to finding joy amidst the shadows of the past.

you take a deep breath and feel a flicker of hope as you sit down at the kitchen table, ready to embrace the present.

[motorsportbarbie13]

What's A Soulmate? Part 6

In which things are made official (finally)

Warnings: little angst, social media posts Pairing: Lando Norris x SainzSister!reader Word Count: 1.4k words

- What's A Soulmate? - Part 1 - What's A Soulmate? - Part 2 - What's A Soulmate? - Part 2.5 - What's a Soulmate? - Part 3 - What's a Soulmate? - Part 4 - What's a Soulmate? - Part 5 - Master List

Monaco May 2024

Sunlight streams in through the partially parted curtains of Lando’s bedroom the next morning. Your entire body is warm, wrapped up in the thick duvet that covers his king sized bed. The soft cotton of the t-shirt Lando gave you last night brushes against your skin, not unlike the way he touched you last night. 

He had just popped out to the cafe that was down the block from his apartment to get you breakfast, as he had absolutely nothing other than a few sweet potatoes in his fridge, one of which smelled suspiciously of vodka. The moment alone allowed you to fully soak in the sore feeling that radiated up from between your legs to the rest of your body. The delicious languid stretch that you felt when you moved even just the slightest bit reminded you of how Lando had played your body so well last night, like he’d been worshipping you for his entire life. 

You lazily reach for your phone just as you hear the front door click open.

 “I’m back.” Lando calls out and you grin, enjoying the way your heart flutters at the sound of his voice, still a little gritty from sleep. 

Instagram is your first choice, watching the private stories of your friends from last night, recapping what you had missed after you and Lando ditched the party. And then you come across a suggested post on your feed and your entire world stops for a moment. 

“Uh��Lan?” Panic dances at the edge of your voice as stare at the photo.

“What’s wrong?” As he rounds the corner, you see he’s holding two to go coffee cups from the cafe that’s down the street from his condo, a look of concern furrowing his brow when he sees the panicked look on your face. 

You flip your phone around to show him the post you’d been sent by a friend in London this morning. It’s a post from an F1 gossip account and it’s a picture from Lando taking you home last night, the two of you very obviously together as more than friends. Embarrassment flames at your cheeks as Lando crosses the room to take a look.

F1GossipNews: Fans in town for the Monaco Grand Prix this weekend caught some interesting shenanigans on the streets of Monte Carlo last night. McLaren driver Lando Norris was spotted outside the Hermitage Hotel last night with none other than Carlos Sainz's little sister and from the several reports we've recieved, they were looking VERY cozy together with Lando even carrying the Spanish McLaren employee at one point. As we all know, these two have been friends for years but have never outright confirmed that they were anything other than just that. We have to wonder what it'll take for these two to go public now??? user928 anyone who follows F1 knows that these two have been in love with each other for YEARS. Thank God they're finally realizing it themselves. user9827 i'll always feel bad for that one girl he dated a few years ago. it feels like there was always 3 people in that relationship. i guess she was right to be jealous >>>user8272 i always heard she was the cause of their breakup. confirmed ig. >>>user0388 oh come on, they've been broken up for TWO YEARS. get a life. touch some grass. user023828 MOM AND DAD MADE IT OFFICIAL. MY LIFE IS COMPLETE.

You hadn’t had a chance to talk about what last night had meant yet and your heart hammered in your chest at the possible rejection. It was still possible that he changed his mind, wasn’t it? That this morning while he had gone out to get breakfast, the space had given him a chance to have second thoughts. You knew that Lando was intensely private about his personal life, hating the way gossip accounts and fans sunk their teeth into any bit of gossip they could get their hands around. 

Fans had tried to link the two of you early on when you were friends and Lando always got so angry when that particular rumor would start swirling again. How was he going to react now that this photo, where you both had been identified by name. Sure, you had shared that one photo of his hand low on your back last night but you couldn’t see his face. This was different. There was a video too, attached to the gossip post and you could clearly hear his thick British accent and your unmistakable laugh floating through the background of the video. 

Lando sits down at the foot of the bed with your phone in his had. A smirk plays on his face as he watches the video for the third time, hand reaching out to stroke your toes that now sit in his lap. When he looks up though, his smile fades and matches your anxious one. 

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, tears threaten to spill. 

Lando is fully confused by your reaction. “What do you have to be sorry about?” 

“They caught us. I know how private you are, how you don’t want to be linked to anyone unless it’s serious. I should have been more careful, Brenda is going to fucking kill me if you don’t. Oh God, Lan. I’m so sorry.” You ramble, twisting the sheets beneath you out of sheer anxiety.  

You remember the rant he went off on before he had started officially dating the girl that ended up ripping you two apart. It had somehow been leaked to the press that they were together and Lando had felt pressured to make it official with her after that. What you didn’t know was that it hadn’t been the press that had made him feel pressured, it had been the girl. She had pushed and pushed, saying that it would ruin her reputation if nothing came of the gossip posts and he had just gone along with it. 

“Hey, there’s no need to panic. Come here.” Lando reaches out to gather you up in his arms, smiling at the fact that you’re still wearing the t-shirt he had given you last night before you two fell asleep. “Why are you freaking out? It’s fine if the press publishes this stuff.” 

“I just…” You struggle to comprehend what he’s saying to you. He’s not mad? “I just know how much you hate the press in your private life. How angry you got when they found out about…her. We hadn’t talked about what this means and I just didn’t want you to feel forced or anything.” 

Lando pulls you further into his lap, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck. God, this was his favorite place now, with how soft the skin at your neck is and always smelling like your perfume no matter the time of day. He was so glad he got to fully indulge in it now and didn’t have to hide how deep his feelings for you were. 

“I do hate the press in my private life, you’re right but I also very much want to shout from the rooftops that I finally get to kiss the love of my life whenever I want. I’m sorry if I didn’t make it clear to you last night, but you’re it for me pretty girl.” He leans in then, brushing your temple with his lips before dragging them down the line of your jaw, fingers gripping at your hips to pull you even closer. “It’s always been you, pretty girl. Always. Be mine forever?”

“You don’t even have to ask, Lan. I’ve been yours for a long time now.”   

If your heart could have exploded in your chest, you wouldn’t have been surprised. You hadn’t really known, hadn’t really realized how much you’d needed to hear Lando say those words until now. You’d spent the better part of five years shoving your feelings for him down so deep in a desperate attempt to accept the fact that maybe all you two would ever be was friends. It was dizzying knowing that that wasn’t going to be the case now and you struggled to wrap your head around it. 

“I can’t go around telling you how much I love and adore you in private and hide those feelings in public. I don’t want to.” To emphasize his point, he grabs his phone out of his back pocket and swipes to open Instagram. You watch with mild amusement as he scrolls through some of the photos he took last night before he lands on one where he’s got you slung over his shoulder, not unlike the gossip post, but this one is in his hallway after he took you home. He types out a caption before handing it over to you for your approval. 

Laughter spills out of your lips as you read it before you look up at him. “This is quite bold, are you sure you want to be this…open?” 

Lando nods, a smirk playing on his lips. “I’m about to be so obnoxious about the fact I finally landed you. How else is everyone in the paddock going to know you’re spoken for now? Max fucking Verstappen better stop texting you now or else I’m going to run him into the bloody wall on Sunday.” 

“Lando Norris!” You scold, swatting him on the shoulder while you both dissolve in giggles. 

“Go on, I know you want to post something too. Although I suspect that story you posted last night of me and you in the elevator was what sparked people to look for other clues. They’ve been trying to ship us for years.” 

You blush under the accusation but you know it’s all in good fun. Fear and anxiety gone from your body you reach for your phone again to make your own post. Lando gives his nod of approval and you both post the photos simultaneously and then grinning, you leave your phones in the bedroom as you enjoy the rest of your morning before you have to be on track later for media day. 

You two didn’t earn the nickname Chaos Gremlins for nothing.  

LandoNorris Confirmed. (tagged: LittlestSainzSis, F1GossipNews) CarlosSainz you'd better take care of her or else you'll end up in a gravel pit. LittlestSainzSis love you darling >>>(liked by landonorris) McLaren IT'S ABOUT TIME >>>user928 even admin knew these two idiots were in love before they did. user0292 oh my GOD he tagged the gossip account. HAHAH >>>user92828 he is down BAD for our girl user0332 if you look closely in the background, you can see me laying down in the middle of the highway. >>>user928 srsly. this post called me single in seven different languages. user02828 god they're so hot together

LittlestSainzSis cat's out of the bag, ig ;) (tagged: LandoNorris) user0292 god they're perfect LandoNorris love you, pretty girl >>>(liked by littlestsainzsis) McLaren our favorite papaya couple finally official!! >>>user0383 admin's been rooting for this ship just as much as the rest of us. user029921 legit the hottest looking couple on the grid, fight me.

the end.

IDK why half of the tag list isn't working but if for some reason you're not being tagged (it says you are when I'm editing the post but it doesn't show up live when I publish it) make sure your settings are fixed on your end or maybe it's just bc i'm a new blog and i can't tag this many? idk but i'll keep trying to fix it!! you can also turn on post notifs for me if you want!)

Tag List: @anilovessadbooks, @shelbyteller, @formulaal, @martygraciesversion381, @longhairkoo, @samantha-chicago, @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99 @luckylampzonkland, @chlmtfilms , @inarabee @aykxz98 @forensicheart @cheer-bear-go-vroom @lieutenantchaos @willowsnook @sltwins @linnygirl09 @powerfulmess @technicallypleasanttree @meglouise00 @mixedstyles @strawberryy-kiwii @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies @unknownmystery22 @mrosales16 @charlesgirl16 @leclercdream

[themissingmango]

Just Plane Monday 2025 Calendar ✈️ PREORDER ✈️

Preorders are now open!! They’ll remain open until December 1st, 2024. The goal is for shipping to happen by December 13th at the latest to make sure it arrives by the new year.

One of the really cool things about this project is that I’ve created three brand new Just Plane Monday paintings that are exclusive to the calendar, you’re not going to catch them anywhere else!

I also created listings for two additional versions of the calendar [pictured below] because I know there was some interest in a desk calendar and I wanted to provide various options. I’ve done my best to price these as low as possible for the duration of the preorder; after Dec 1st the price will increase. These items are made to order and shipped through the manufacturer, not by me. Freebies are still included when you purchase either of these during the preorder window (Nov 12-Dec 1) but they will be mailed separately from the calendar. I will default to sending only plane related freebies unless you message or email me with your preference to include Top Gun themed content OR opt out of the freebies if you’re not interested (please give me your order # when/if you do so!)

If you have any trouble with your order or questions I can answer, please message me through tumblr or you can email me at missingmissmango@gmail.com

For anyone wanting to follow along with the preorder/fulfillment journey my instagram is @themissingmango and that is where I’ll be posting updates! Thank you to everyone who has been cheering this idea along; I’m so excited!! ☺️

[livingdeadmlm]

Slight Age Gap with Daisuke 7/31

Pronouns: The reader refers to themself as a man once, and the Daisuke treats the reader as male mentally. 

Physical Sex: not described

How far are things going? He is jerking off, and it implies he asks for a sexual favor after the fic ends

Warnings: MDNI, mentions of shitty porn tropes, Daisuke pictures while jerking off, slight age gap dramatize for the kink of the day. Reader is meant to be 24-26 and daisuke is meant to be 20-22 (yeah not that big comapred to the people doing 40+ dating 20 on this hellsite but whateva)

Outline: Daisuke has been lacking free time, especially with his slightly older coworker, so he takes whatever chance he gets for some relief

What inspired me to write how I did: Nothing!

Other: there is very little content fanfic wise for the fandom, so as I do, I join a month late with something half as good as what has been already posted, lol. But if you like this and want more my requests are always open!!!

You shouldn't fuck your coworkers; it's very frowned upon. Not only can it cause unnecessary work drama, it can negatively affect productivity. The two people could start fighting, or production slows down in favor of sneaking off. It was so looked down upon that Pony Express had a whole section in their training videos discouraging it. Even though Daisuke was an intern, he had to watch every video, granted very loosely. But what he did remember was the videos said nothing about jerking off to your coworkers. 

With the others walking in and out semi-frequently when they needed your assistance to fix something, it was hard to catch some alone time, especially with you.

As Daisuke lay comfortably on his bed, the soft glow from his small handheld game illuminated his face, twisted in focus. The rhythmic clicks and cheerful beeps signaled each successful move he made. As you entered the room, the air was filled with the faint scent of soap and shampoo, letting him know you had just finished a shower without looking. 

With droplets of water still clinging to your hair, you stepped over to your side of the room, your skin slightly dewy. As you kicked off your slippers and searched through your bags, you looked much more relaxed as Daisuke glanced over.

A cartoony sound of a crash echoed from the console as the intern was momentarily distracted and couldn't help but gaze at your bent-over figure. The colorful screen on the console flickered as the game over scene flashed. The intern's eyes widened as he tried to groan to cover up the fact that he lost because he was staring at your ass.

"Do you still want to borrow a blanket, Daisuke? I have an extra. These wool blankets make your skin feel awful in the long run." your voice gently broke the silence as you turned with the black blanket folded in your hands. Subconsciously, Daisuke rubbed his hands against the itchy wool before nodding. 

You smiled, walking over to his bed and letting the blanket unfold in your hands. "Here, I'll tuck you in!" yanking off the hospital-esque wool blanket and replacing it with the plush black one you had packed. The blanket covered Daisuke completely as your hands tucked him in snugly. He couldn't help but laugh as you made a big show, tucking him in so tight. Your hands slipped under his body to make sure he was fully tucked in. Having your hands touch him so much made him a bit shy.

Laughter filled the air as you shared a sweet moment, your fingers gently resting on Daisuke's chest after giving it a firm pat. Unbeknownst to you, his heart raced wildly at the unexpected warmth of your touch. Your giggles quickly stopped as the door swung open, revealing curly. 

"(Name), the light in my washroom went out. Would you be able to come and change the bulb? Jimmy keeps trying, but it's not turning on." Curlies's face was sheepish at the request, especially since it was so close to bedtime. 

"Of course, caption," You did a small salute; Daisuke internally cursed at Curly for interrupting one of the few moments of touch you two have had. "Just had to tuck in the intern; can't have him sneaking off and causing trouble!" your hand grazed his hair as you stepped away from the bed, following a chuckling Curly out of the room. As you stepped out of the room, he caught your words. 'No, I'm kidding, he's a very good boy.'

Daisuke cast his gaze downward, taking in your words as he stared at his body swathed in the soft, tightly wrapped blanket. A familiar scent wafted through the air, enveloping him in a comforting embrace. It was a delightful combination of your body wash intertwined with the freshness of what he presumed was your laundry soap, a subtle, clean aroma. Beneath it all, he caught the unmistakable, soothing essence of you—something uniquely personal that lingered in the fabric.

As he began to unwind himself from the cocoon of warmth, he carefully shifted his position, rolling onto his side with his back turned towards the door. The smooth texture of the blanket brushed against his skin, and he instinctively pressed his face into it, inhaling deeply. Each breath brought him closer to that unreachable sense of comfort and safety as he reveled in the intimate sensations of the fabric against his cheek. Daisukes hand traveled down. He wore a loose pair of sleep shorts, making slipping his hands into his boxers easy.

He always had the vague idea he was gay or desired men in some way, especially during and after high school. Even now, 3 years later, he didn't think about it. Didn't think about it as his hand took firm hold of his dick. Didn't think about it as he held the blanket closer to his nose. He didn't think about it as all he could imagine was you. He didn’t think about it, as your words echoed in Daisuke's mind. Imagining you on top of him, pulling off his clothes, and while you wouldn't be his first kiss, you would be his first brush with non-awkward sexual contact. Daisuke covered his mouth as a whine ripped through his throat at the quick pace he set for himself. The fleece blanket you had brought from home filled his senses with your smell.

He didn't have much time or could make much noise, as the door was still cracked open. He could hear the muffled talking and ignored it instead of focusing on crossing the finish line. Thinking of your bent-over figure and the times you'd press against him trying to squeeze by in electrical. Your head would be close to his when you'd help him with a level.

A light, muffled, wet noise started as his cock began to drool. His lack of experience led him to imagine whatever scenarios he had seen in shitty pornos. Being a couple of years younger, he couldn't help but think of ones with more of a… power dynamic.

You in a button-up shirt with the first three undone tight slacks on pressing him against a blackboard in an empty lecture hall, his own tiny, poor quality plaid skirt, that he didn't have time to make sense of if he was supposed to be a college student, leaving nothing to the imagination.

Bending him over a desk, pushing up his black a-line skirt, and tearing his black nylon stockings as his thin-framed glasses mushed against the desk. As papers were scattered all over the floor around the desk. With a huff, Daisuke changed his laying position to lay on his back. His hand didn’t falter, but he was so close he could feel the slight tingle in his stomach start.

Handcuffed as you slide a baton up his orange jumpsuit-covered thigh, calling him a naughty boy. He couldn't help the slight whine that slipped as his legs shook with each pass of his hand. Now, picturing you taking advantage of his often spread-out position on the oversized couch in the main lobby. Your uniform is in its usual half-undone state as you slot yourself between his legs, ‘you’ve been such a good boy, Daisuke; how about a reward, huh? What do you want me to do?’ Deep eyes gazed into his own as his breath stuck in his throat. Your hands caressing his thighs, your head resting against his boner made very clear from his jeans.

Reaching the edge, eyes squinting and half-dyed blond hair splayed across the pillow, he finally spilled over his hand. The hot liquid coated the back of his palm as he huffed, the reality of his desperation not hitting him yet. He panted as he heard your thumping footsteps making their way back to the room. Grabbing a tissue from the bedside table, each employee was provided with a tissue. Daisuke cleaned off his hand and shoved the tissue under his pillow.

“Well, it's time to turn in, don’t you think? “ Daisuke quickly uncovered his face from the blanket. “Hey- are you okay? You’re all red!” You rushed over, placing a hand against his forehead, which, as you thought, was burning up.

“No! I’m okay. I just passed out for a second and had a, um, nightmare.” You sighed in relief, your hand remaining on Daisuke's forehead.

“It’s your first time on the Tulpar, and I get it. I would always have nightmares my first year as well.” You coughed awkwardly, taking your hand off his forehead.

“Sorry if it feels like I ever baby you, Daisuke; you coming on at the very last minute, and having never done this before, I feel a bit protective over your first experience here.” Your voice was somber, and while work was work, it made you sad to witness someone just a couple of years your junior facing the possibility of being tethered to this job for a long time as you have been

Daisukes throat was dry. The major shift in mood was hard to grasp as he squeaked out a thank you. You smiled softly. “I have to remember you are just three years younger and are just as much of a man as I am, and if you need my help, you know you can ask!” Daisuke squirmed at how he twisted your words for his dirty mind.

“I could teach you some handyman work when Swansea gets off your back a bit. I've been doing it for years, and sharing my craft would be fun to hang out!” You mumbled about being grateful for someone your age here, as everyone else was almost 10+ years older. Daisuke said a resounding yes to your offer. With a big grin, you stood up and shut the door, and the light in the room was flicked off as you wished Daisuke a good night.

“I think there is something I need help with (Name).”

[quillkiller]

do u think if regulus somehow survived the cave and, once free, barty learned of his betrayal to voldemort would barty stick with regulus despite feeling himself betrayed or would they end up fighting eachother every chance they get. a bit like sirius and reg who end up on different sides of the war and seek eachother out in every duel just to see eachother. Like they still can’t stay away from eachother but now they hate eachother so everything is more complicated. tbh i think that’d be pretty one sided because regulus does not see how betraying voldemort could hurt barty at all, i think he’d be kind of compassionate.. would even pity him for what he went through

me & and kara had a meeting over this ask and here’s out conclusion…

we don’t really know what happens with bartylus if reg somehow survived the cave… we don’t necessarily think he’s with voldy out of some kind of loyalty, but for a lot of other complex reasons mostly to do with barty sr and his upbringing. barty is revenge personified. to me however there could ever be hatred or spite between bartylus no matter the betrayal. they always always always regress to their adolescent teenage selves when they’re together, it can’t be helped.

we also don’t see regulus on the field ?? i have a hard time picturing regulus like out on all the raids…. i think his role as a death eater is something completely different. and, if they were in the field, i think regulus and sirius would always avoid each other, knowing that neglect and silence cuts deeper. and because they don’t actually want to hurt each other. if anyone wants to hurt anyone its reg wanting to hurt sirius, and sirius defending himself. i don’t see them seeking each other out though. sirius would seek bella out on the battlefield, but never regulus. sirius can and does stay away from regulus and he proved that when he left home. even if it hurts ! the sacrifices we make to save our own lives and what not :/ i dont see either of them trying to reach out in any sort of way, both too proud and stubborn, and knowing that silence will hurt more

we also don’t think that regulus’ betrayal with the locket is an indicator that he’s now a good person / or that he would join the order. similar in how i dont think narcissas act of betrayal isn’t an indicator that she’s good either. it was personal for both of them. a way to (hopefully) save their loved ones (draco & sirius) and a defiance against voldemort. fighting against voldemort doesn’t equal being on the good side. and if that’s the case i can see barty choosing regulus over voldy. he’ll find other ways to get his revenge / the reason (to me) that he was so devoted to voldemort in the end is because all his friends died and he had nothing left BUT revenge. now he has regulus, and where regulus goes barty follows.

not to go on and on about dil’s masterpiece bartylus microfic but it really changed my life forever when barty runs away w reg and reg says ’you’re hardly the first one to ask’ and barty says ’i didn’t ask’ <- HE DIDNT ASK. i dont think he’d question regs betrayal, wouldn’t take it personal, wouldn’t pity him for it. reg survives and decides to leave / maybe try to find the other horcruxes and barty is like ’cool, guess that’s what we’re doing then’ and invites himself. and regulus would never, could never, tell him no. they’re childhood best friends and their carnal weird fucking need for each other will always outweigh anything else between them. they’re not strategic or calculating in their relationship, aren’t capable of it <- and they’re both strategic and calculating people, barty especially. it’s like that post ’when you’ve known someone for too long you’re doomed to always see them as a person.”

so if regulus survives and decides to continue to fight against voldemort, i think the natural transgression for barty is to leave with him <- lap dog tendencies. i don’t think either of them do it out of the goodness of their hearts or join the order.

[gothamcityneedsme]

smtiv finished once again. I love this game so much, especially neutral route. I did all the quests and a lot of unnecessary stuff for fun. I spent. 70 hours in this replay.

[unordinary-diary]

I’ve discussed before the parallels between Blyke and John, but here I shall call attention to the way that the two of them are drawn.

Unfortunately I don’t appear to have any good pictures of Blyke OR John where Blyke isn’t getting beaten up, but I’m here to point out how similar they look. They wear the same uniform, of course, they have similar builds, the same haircut/style, and the same eye color.

Even later on in the series, when Uru-chan began to vary the facial features of the characters (namely eye shape), Blyke and John remained strikingly similar.

(There was also a point in time where Blyke’s hair was drawn more out to the sides, presumably to differentiate him from John post-hair gel, but it is not drawn that way anymore.)

I’d like to point out this panel:

This was taken from the season 2 part 1 recap.

It... really looks like john is beating up himself. Of course, we as the audience recognize that panel and we know that it’s Blyke, but the two of them could’ve been switched and it would look the same. I believe that this was an intentional choice; not all flashback panels have the same effects on them, and this particular effect happens to make Blyke’s hair look black. Also, with the panel that is chosen, Blyke’s face is not visible. Even if their faces did look significantly different, we wouldn’t be able to tell.

[formal-frog-shoes]

Twiststuck stuff i just wanna get out

Im a huge Cater multi-shipper

Normally this wouldn't be a problem

BUT I CAN'T HAVE ALMOST EVERYONE IN THIS AU HAVE A FLUSH OR PALE CRUSH ON HIM THAT'S ABSURD!!!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

so a non-welcome home related ask and i'm sorry if you already answered this before, but what got you into dragons? i'm slowly stalking through your tumblr and i can't help but admire how beautifully and effortlessly you draw the scaley fuckers (/pos) ✨

i've actually never gotten this question, so this is a delight! allow me to Overshare about this

i became interested in dragons at an early age - like, kindergarten / 1st grade age. i don't remember exactly how it started, but i think it was my fascination with dinosaurs, oddly enough? i've loved those guys since some of my earliest memories. it wasn't a big leap from "giant 'lizards' from our past" to 'even bigger mythological 'lizards' from always". the Hobbit and the first Temeraire (im trying to get my hands on the full series now actually) were read to me at this young age too, and the only parts i remember are the big dragon scenes lmao

i do know the ball Really got rolling with the first How To Train Your Dragon movie, which i saw in theaters in 2nd grade. INSTANT obsession with dragons. i'll never forget how it felt to see Toothless for the first time. but in general, i couldn't get enough of em. i made my own dragon manual, i got the Dragonology books, it was the whole enchilada!

then in 5th grade, i stumbled upon the newly released Wings Of Fire: The Dragonet Prophecy book! immediately fell in love with it. and its what pushed me to start actively pursuing art! and also what pushed me into my first online space: ~Deviantart~. i saw all of the amazing art of my favorite dragons and wanted in on it. i can actually pinpoint the main person who's art i loved and found inspiration in: someone named Liighty! i don't remember their user, it's probably changed in the many years since. i loved their stuff and wanted nothing more than to be able to draw like them

long story short, i've been in love with dragons for the majority of my life. HTTYD and WOF have been my biggest inspirations and fuel to the fire, and my first delve into the internet pushed me to start drawing dragons (specifically wof) like my life depended on it. i haven't looked back since!

[icewindandboringhorror]

Baby boy brother birthday photos from last year that I just realized I never uploaded!

[catcactusoww]

today's studies! 2 from classes and 2 x 15 min warmups. (I couldn't get rid of the weird bubble on the portrait studies no matter what glaze settings I used. :/ if anyone has any tips pls let me know)

I haven't posted much in a long time because I was ashamed of having the ups and downs in quality from a lack of art education and experience, but there's nothing wrong with needing work on my fundamentals. I want to be more consistent about posting studies AND finished work. it's hard to work through in my head and heart, but it's ok to not be perfect. I am trying to work through that mindset rather than stagnate indefinitely. looking forward to having fun and having some learning experiences.

[themyscirah]

Okay so basically the United States MINT of all people is going to be working with DC to make a line of coins! These coins sadly won't be in circulation (the things I would do to live in a world where I could get Batman coins from the supermarket) as they're collectors coins, but will be releasing over the course of the next 3 years, 2025-2027.

Designs haven't been released yet (the same is true for all 2025 designs) but we know there will be 9 coins in total (3 each year) with the first year featuring (of course!!!) Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman.

Although we know the first three heroes to be featured, the remaining six have yet to be decided, and it turns out the Mint is putting out a survey on their site to gauge which of a group of culturally significant heroes people want to see most! (link to the form is mentioned in the article above)

The considered group includes: Supergirl, the Flash, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Captain Marvel, John Stewart GL, Aquaman, Hawkman, Jamie Reyes BB, Robin (Damian?), Cyborg, and Batgirl, of which 6 will be selected.

As someone who does a bit of coin collecting myself (mainly circulation coins like the quarters sets, but I also have a couple proof and collectors coins) I think this is a really cool and interesting idea that showcases the history of the comics medium and these characters and their influence on American culture. Really excited to wait and see what the designs look like for the coins already announced!

[torgawl]

crack theory: what if the abyss twin isn't a descender because they're an ascender?

[sunbedo]

Hey guys. gay rights

[autisticcassandracain]

Free story idea I'll probably never write but am kind of obsessed with: Scott and Lightray role reversal where Scott grew up on New Genesis and Lightray was traded to Apokolips.

Basic set up: Scott, as a little baby child, was supposed to die when Steppenwolf killed his mother. He survived, narrowly, but Izaya hid that from Apokolips in fear of retaliation. So when the pact happened, Izaya's son, presumed dead, wasn't on the table; instead, (quite literally) the brightest child on New Genesis was traded.

So Scott grows up hidden on New Genesis as the son of Highfather, with his big brother Orion. And the thing is, he loves his home, his father, his brother, but by the time he hits young adulthood he's positively gnawing at the bars. He's going stir crazy from his limited movement; even in New Genesis he has to be careful, because after all these years, he's still hiding from Darkseid, who might change the pact if he hears Izaya's son is still alive, or even flat out kill him, breaking the truce in the process. It's not something anyone is willing to risk, least of all Highfather and Orion.

But Scott is not the type to accept limitations on his freedom, and on top of that, the longer he hides away, the more guilty he feels. He's not stupid, he knows that he should have, by all rights, been the one traded in the pact. But Highfather prioritized his safety and took the out that him being presumed dead offered, and another kid took the fall instead. How is that fair? It's not like Lightray is any less important than him. Scott may have been too young to make informed decisions or understand what was happening when the pact occured, but now, as an adult, he's becoming increasingly dissatisfied with being protected at the cost of other peoples lives.

If only he could help in some way ��� he's no fighter, but he's crafty and creative. Surely, even if he wouldn't he terribly useful on a battlefield (and has no real desire to enter it to begin with), he could at least do something for the kid that got traded in his place? Help him escape, perhaps? He's already capable of giving even New Genesis the slip, Apokolips can't be that much harder...

Meanwhile, Darkseid was fully planning on pulling the same basic gambit with Lightray as he would have with Scott: torment him until he decides to escape at all costs, breaking the pact. So Lightray was put in Granny's Orphanage, ostensibly a normal student, with Granny reporting back on him to Darkseid. And things would've gone roughly like they went for Scott, if it weren't for one thing: Lightray's intelligence.

Where Scott was, as far as we can tell, a perfectly average student, Lightray quickly proves to be exceptional. His fighting is largely mediocre (relatively peaking, of course), but he still wins a vast majority of sparring matches, even when his opponents far outmatch him in skill, resources, numbers, or all three. He does this by simply outsmarting them, figuring out positively brilliant strategies even under the effects of Granny's mind-altering drugs. Granny reports this back to Darkseid, baffled and annoyed, lamenting about cowardice and rebellion; children in Granny's Orphanage are not supposed to think, after all.

But Darkseid quickly realizes that the pact handed them far more than just a symbolical light, an easy way to end the truce; it handed them a weapon. Child of New Genesis Lightray may be, Darkseid reads Granny's reports of cunning, manipulation, underhanded and even ruthless strategy and sees himself. On New Genesis, Lightray may have been a formidable enemy, but now, Darkseid has the opportunity to mold him into a surprise weapon. A cunning strategist, perhaps even on a similar level as himself, completely loyal to Apokolips, but easily able to win New Genesis' trust if necessary. A perfect potential spy. Lightray still has some of that pesky New Genesis kindness, but nothing a little careful manipulation won't fix. But the brute force of Granny's Orphanage won't bend him into the right shape; a little more subtlety is required here.

So Darkseid takes Lightray from Granny's Orphanage and only lies to him a little bit. He tells Lightray about the pact, about how he was traded for convenience's sake; Darkseid even graceciously admits that he'd originally planned to use Lightray much the same way, but had realized his mistake and decided to give him a chance instead. Darkseid sees how special Lightray is, how much more he could be than just a bargaining chip; Darkseid could make him great, give him power and, more importantly, a place to belong. Lightray could be important, and important things aren't easily traded away, are integral to their home and respected as peers. He could have a place here if he just listens to Darkseid, and why shouldn't he? What has New Genesis, what has Highfather given him? At least Apokolips, Darkseid is giving him a chance, believes he can be more than a bargaining chip. Highfather sees him as nothing but a tool, but Darkseid gets him, believes in him, believes he is more. Between the two of then, who has earned Lightray's loyalty?

So Lightray grows up as Darkseid's adopted son, favored even over Kalibak for his merit, risen above his origins as a bargaining chip, and only feels a little weird about it all. Just a little bit. Somewhere in the back of his mind, there is an instinctive part of him that cringes when a hunger dog rebel begs for mercy while being tortured to death, but that's just his New Genesis weakness, and he's long since overcome it. It's nothing Darkseid holds against him, as long as Lightray fights it. His origins don't define him, and he's grabbed the knife and chosen Darkseid's strength over New Genesis' weakness.

They were planning on having him 'escape' Apokolips and slotting him into New Genesis as a spy, but a golden opportunity drops straight into their lap. A New Genesian manages to sneak straight into Lightray's room, in the heart of Darkseid's home. The only one they know with the skill to pull that of is Himon, but this is clearly someone else.

This is Highfather's son, remarkably alive despite all information to the contrary, and doesn't that just reinforce everything Lightray's ever been taught? Highfather had been unwilling to sacrifice his own son, as Darkseid had done, and had instead cowardly offered up Lightray as a sacrificial lamb. Well, joke's on them, this lamb has grown into a wolf, and is ready to earn his spot in the pack. Highfather's son is called Scott Free (which is really just salt in the wound, isn't it) and is here to break him out, take him back to New Genesis, and it's a little before schedule, but they can't possibly pass up this opportunity.

Scott returns home to New Genesis, having successfully rescued Lightray and feeling pretty good about himself, not understanding why Orion is so spitting mad at the whole thing. He knows this means war, and that's awful, but this truce was never going to last, and they all know it. And now that he's seen the horrors of Apokolips for himself, he can't help but want to do something about it. He may be no fighter, but he thinks he can work with Himon; Himon's methods seem to fit very well with Scott's strengths. He can help, but his father still forbids him to leave New Genesis, and Orion insists that Darkseid is planning something, that it's too dangerous. Scott is inexperienced, naive, and must be protected at all costs, and if they think they can actually successfully keep him in one place they're idiots. It's only a matter of time before he gives them the slip.

Orion knows this damn well, but that's not going to stop him from trying to keep Scott from walking straight into an enemy trap. He doesn't trust Lightray, not even a little bit; he still remembers what Darkseid is like, and he knows, knows that Lightray would never have been allowed to live as his son if he wasn't useful to him in some way. Orion would bet his astro harness Lightray is a spy, but what can they do? Highfather refuses to lock Lightray up without concrete proof that he's a traitor, and they obviously can't send him back to Apokolips. If Scott goes through with joining Himon, he'll be in the middle of enemy territory, with a spy to report back to Darkseid on it. Orion can't allow that to happen, no matter what. But he can't just babysit Scott, even if Scott would've allowed him to do that; with the war starting, Orion is needed on the front lines. He doesn't know how to balance the need to protect his brother with his duties towards New Genesis and the universe at large.

Lightray, meanwhile, is having a bit of a culture shock. New Genesis is, for the most part, exactly what he'd been told to expect: bright, soft, holier-than-thou, all-around fake and weak. But it's still a shock to go from dark Apokolips to bright New Genesis, and to his alarm he can feel the effects already. In the sunlight, he is physically stronger and much more comfortable. He settles in easy, feels content in a way he rarely (never) felt on Apokolips. No matter how much he tries to remind himself that these people betrayed them and he's here to destroy them, he fits on New Genesis in a way he never did on Apokolips, and that scares him, a little bit. Because he knows he'll never have a place here; he'd be a tool at best, and an interloper at worst. Orion's hostility, though a significant hurdle in the plan, is almost welcome; it's familiar, and makes it easier to remind himself that he does not, in fact, belong here.

And then, there is one more complication: Scott Free. Scott Free, Highfather's hidden son, for whose sake he was traded, who is naive and reckless and easy to manipulate, and genuine in a way that completely throws Lightray for a loop. Highfather lies, pretending to trust Lightray despite obviously agreeing with Orion's suspiscions, apologizing for trading Lightray even though he'd surely do it again without hesitation, claiming to respect New Genesis' youth above all despite how obviously untrue that is. It's easy to look at him and see confirmation of everything Darkseid told him about New Genesis.

But Scott tells Lightray he never should've been traded in his place and honestly seems to believe it. He defied orders to come 'rescue' Lightray because he believed it was more important than the continuation of the pact. He's weak, in many ways, but he sees the world how it could be, not the way it is, and has a bright resiliance to him, which Lightray stubbornly refuses to compare to anyone he's met, especially not one Aurelie, the Fury who'd been revealed to be part of Himon's rebels. Scott Free will either die painfully or waste the rest of his life away imprisoned, and Lightray finds himself making just a few too many excuses for why that bothers him.

When Scott Free finally escapes Orion and Highfather's watch to go join Himon, Lightray does not immediately report to Darkseid. He contacts Big Barda instead. It's not treachery, he tells himself. Big Barda is wholly loyal to Darkseid, the leader of the Furies, and will get the job done; besides, he'll report to Darkseid soon enough. He still refuses to think about Aurelie, and how closely Barda stuck to Lightray's side afterwards, drawn to him for reasons they both knew but refused to acknowledge. When he hears back about Barda's defection and her and Scott's escape to Earth, he is obviously very shocked and not even a little bit relieved the plan he didn't have worked.

Then the anti-life equation is discovered on Earth, and suddenly Lightray is told by Darkseid that discovering its location should be his top priority. Orion is sent to look for it as well, to protect it, and Lightray, seeing an opportunity, insists to go along. To his surprise, Orion actually agrees. Orion, for this part, just wants to get Lightray as far away from New Genesis as possible, and is working on a 'keep your friends close, but your enemies closer' logic. So off they both go, on the universe's most high-stakes and hostile buddy road trip.