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blowflyfag · 7 months ago

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Pro Wrestling Illustrated: March 2024

“Timeless” Toni Storm is simultaneously a throwback to a bygone Golden Age and, in this contemporary grappling scene, someone rather singular.

HOTSEAT

AN INCISIVE INTERVIEW WITH THE SPORT’S TOP STARS AND FIGURES

TONI STORM

The whole place seemed to have been stricken with a kind of creeping paralysis. Out of beat with the rest of the world, crumbling apart in slow motion. A once-grand estate, nestled deep in the Hollywood Hills … a relic from a bygone age in Tinseltown. Back then, they didn’t need dialogue. They had faces. This is where Pro Wrestling Illustrated had sent me, on assignment for an exclusive interview with a woman whose startling reinvention has taken All Elite Wrestling–and the entire wrestling world–by storm, you might say. These days, she doesn’t show herself in public very much, aside from TV tapings and, of course, on the set. So, landing the interview took some doing, but if there’s anything 30 years covering this crazy business has taught me, it’s how to get my foot in the door.

This time, that foot would be in the door of a palatial mansion that may very well have once housed Valentino, DeMille, Garbo, or Fairbanks. Walking under the shade of rows of aging palms, past that once crystal-clear outdoor pool, between the cracked pillars of a French facade, I’m greeted by the butler; a loyal, oddly quiet man who brings me inside. Shrouded partly in sharp shadows, by the flickering light on a roaring fireplace, she sits reclining on a chaise lounge… Toni Storm. At first, she is reluctant to break her silence, so I have to win her trust. Part of that means playing along with what can sometimes only be described as a baffling , yet mesmerizing delusion. In the end it’s working for her; If Toni Storm is crazy, then she’s crazy like a fox.

We chat for what seems like hours, as she relays to me her hopes and dreams, her natural connection with the fans, whether in the stands or watching at home–those wonderful people out there in the dark.

What follows are the highlights of that enlightening conversation. By the end of it, I felt I had developed a real understanding of who Toni Storm is now. I get it. She really is “Timeless.” Perhaps more than that, she is transcendent.

And she’s ready for her closeup, Mr Khan.

Brian R. Solomon: Thank you so much for granting me this interview, Ms. Storm. I realize you’re a very busy woman. First, let me say that there are a lot of people, myself included, who would say that right now, “Timeless” Toni Storm is one of the best, most entertaining things on AEW television, I wanted to know how you feel about that.

Storm: Well, thank you very much. I completely understand why you’re feeling that way. I am a very exciting act. I have been a very exciting act for a very long time. And I’ve always blown audiences away, no matter where I’ve gone or what I’ve done. So, you are right to be feeling like this. I am, as the kids say, “killing it.”

Solomon: Nevertheless, having to address your transformation as of late. It’s been very dramatic, to say the least. What do you say to the fans who might be wondering what happened to the Toni Storm that they remembered? Storm: Well, you see, it’s simple, really. I have played many roles all throughout my career. And now what you’re seeing, “Timeless” Toni Storm, is the real me. I’m finally ready to show the world who I well and truly am. And this is it. Over the years, fans have seen others of the numerous roles I've played. For instance, most recently I used to be “Green Goblin #3” of the Outcasts trio. But now, I’m finally revealing myself, Finally revealing my true self, I should say. And that is “Timeless” Toni Storm.

Solomon: That word, “Timeless.” it keeps coming up. Could you help us understand what that word means to you? Storm: How do I put this? Ah, yes. I transcend. Yes, I’m in a different realm. In this realm, there is no time. I just exist. I do not age. I was not born. I will not die. Stars never die. I just am.

[If you ask some of the broadcast journalists at AEW, Toni Storm has lost her marbles. But the “Timeless” one tells PWI She’s just found her true self.]

Solomon: I have to ask–and I hope you don’t take this the wrong way–but did the loss of the AEW Women’s World title to Hikaru Shida last summer on the 200th episode of AEW dynamite have anything to do with what we’re seeing from you lately? Not to mention the fact that it was your supposed friend and ally, Saraya, who pinned you to win the title during the three-way match with Shinda during All In at Wembley Stadium. The reason I ask is that those developments all took place around the same time. And those losses, the way they happened, would cause many people to reconsider the path of their career.

Storm: Alright, I admit it. I’m going to finally admit it here for the readers of Pro Wrestling Illustrated. When I lost the title to Hikaru Shida, I absolutely lost it. I fell apart. And I would like to apologize to all my fans who had to witness that. But now, I have risen from the ashes. I am on quite a fantastic winning streak right now, in case you haven't noticed. I have picked myself off the ground. And I'm doing better than I ever have done. This has really ignited the fire inside of me once again. One cannot deny that Hikaru Shida has the heart of a champion. One cannot deny, even, that she has the heart of a lion. And one might say that she was destined to be a champion. But every destiny comes to an end.

Solomon: I’m sure you’ve noticed this, but there are a lot of fans–and even the television announcers who call your matches, like Taz and Tony Schiavone–who seem to be very concerned about you these days. Some of them have even spoken about you like you may have lost your mind. How do you take that?

Storm: Well, I’m not going to lie, darling. I don’t know where all of this misplaced concern is coming from, because I have never felt more “with it” in my entire life. I don’t know where people are getting these ideas from. I don't know who is daring to spread these ugly rumors about me. But I am done with it, truly. And you don’t need to worry about me, because I'm giving the performance of my lifetime. I’m doing just fine. I just cannot fathom where they are getting the idea that I've lost it, or why anyone would even entertain such a thought.

[Dressed as if she’s just emerged from her spacious trailer on a Hollywood studio lot, Ms. Storm shares a jaunty laugh with her adoring public.]

Solomon: Well, I think I can tell you one thing that might have been giving them that idea: the smeared makeup. That certainly might be having some people worried. I hope you can at least understand that. And, while we’re on the subject, maybe you could let us in on what that’s all about.

Storm: Well, you see, I was talking to RJ City, and I had an epiphany…a revelation, you might say. It was then that I realized that I'm “Timeless” Toni Storm. But getting to that realization, leading up to it, was very difficult. And that takes a toll. This whole lifestyle can be very hard, mentally, on a performer. That realization can be hard to bear. And so, once in a while, you can lose control.

Solomon: I’m not sure I understand.

Storm: Have you ever had a mental breakdown?

Solomon: I suppose I have. Many people have, at one point or another, but that’s not–

Storm: and you’ve never smeared your makeup?

Solomon: No. That, I've never done, no. Mental breakdown, maybe, yes. Smeared makeup? No.

Storm: In my world, where there is a mental breakdown, there is a bit of a smeared makeup job. However, I have a new butler now. And there will be no makeup smears. Everything is taken care of. I fired my stylist. And that was a good move. You won’t be seeing any more smeared makeup on me. I’m going to be immaculate, all of the time.

[“SPRAYPAINTING THINGS LIKE WE USED TO DO”: Saraya attempts to incapacitate her challenger, who rallies back with Storm Zero piledriver at the Dynamite: Grand Slam taping.]

Solomon: Yes, I did notice the butler right away. He’s hard to miss. But you mentioned RJ City. Let’s get back to him. I’m interested in talking about RJ, because I noticed that he’s been with you now since you’ve been reborn, so to speak. We’d previously seen him doing backstage interviews with Renee Paquette, or hosting his excellent web interview series, HEY! EW. But lately, he seems to really be a big part of what you’ve been doing. How would you describe what your relationship is with him right now?

Storm: The thing about RJ City is he has a bit of an attitude problem. I’m going to let you all in on this. He can be difficult. He’s very cheeky. I would even go so far as to say that he’s a bit of a pest, really. So, you can’t trust him entirely. But he is around me all the time. And he was there when I had my revelation. Now, I just can’t get rid of him. But he seems to always be there to help me if I should need something, I suppose.

Solomon: So, kind of like a pet?

Storm: Yes, exactly! He’s like my dog friend. Everyone should have one. A trusty, loyal sled dog. Solomon: I’m sure he'll be delighted to read that.

Storm: Hopefully not. I love doing this, even just to annoy him.

[Beneath the catchphrases, dramatic turns (faces!), and somewhat erratic behavior, Ms. Storm is a woman possessed by the desire to return to her former glory.]

Solomon: Now, we talked about previously losing the AEW Women’s title and how you came to these realizations. But obviously, before that, you had been one of the Outcasts, with Saraya and Ruby Soho. Now, you’ve kind of splintered off into your own universe. I’d like to ask if you have any awareness at all of how your former allies in the Outcasts feel about the new Toni Storm?

Storm: Saraya certainly hasn’t seemed very happy with me recently, for some reason. I don’t know why. But whatever problems Saraya has with me, whatever reason she’s upset, I'm sure she'll get over it. As a matter of fact, they'll all be fine. I don’t really know what they’re up to. I’m sure they’re just off, spray-painting things, like we used to do.

[“I need the biggest prize, the biggest trophy … I can’t bear to be seen without it. A lot of my self-worth comes from being champion.”]

Solomon: Are you above the AEW Women’s World championship at this point? Is that even the main goal of your career? Or are you bigger than that now?

Storm: I wouldn’t say bigger than the title, necessarily. It’s more that I need it. It’s something that I need to possess in order to be okay. I need the biggest prize, the biggest trophy. It’s become very much a big part of my art. I can’t bear to be seen without it. A lot of my self-worth comes from being champion.

Solomon: I have to ask you about the show. I mean, I have other questions about your various catchphrases, but I don’t think they’d let me print those in the pages of Pro Wrestling Illustrated. So, I’ll leave that alone, and, instead, I’ll focus on the shoe. What exactly is the significance of the shoe?

Storm: When one needs to defend oneself, one must utilize what one can get one’s hands on. And I've only ever had my shoes on me. Maybe I should invest in some kind of weaponry. But right now, the shoes seem to be doing the trick.

[WATCH OUT FOR THE SHOW: “Timeless” Toni Storm is ever aware of the camera’s lens and can often be found breaking the fourth wall. But only a fool would dare mistake her eccentricity for weakness.]

Solomon: I would say they are, yes. I honestly never thought I’d be asking anyone this question in an interview, but do you think that maybe you might have been reincarnated? Or is it possible that you perhaps could have been born 100 years too late? Certainly, you seem more at home in the 1920s than in the 2020s.

Storm: You know, I would answer yes to that question. But the truth is, since I’m timeless, my concept of time is not a thing, if that makes sense.

Solomon: Not really, but go on.

Storm: What I mean to say is, I’m an essence. I’m a realm. I’m a mirage. I’m neither here nor there.

Solomon: Hmmm. While we’re on the subject of reincarnation, and flashbacks to a century ago, let’s talk about the short films you’ve been doing. And, by the way, I think they shouldn’t even be in picture-in-picture. They should be on the main part of the show, not during commercials. And I know a lot of people feel that way. But the films are silent, so I guess I understand …

Storm: Now you’re just babbling, darling. Do you have a question?

Solomon: Oh, yes. Do you think that All Elite Wrestling should switch the whole show being entirely done in black-and-white? And maybe silent? Or would you maybe not stand out as much if they did that?

Storm: To tell you the truth, I don't even know what you’re talking about or what you’re referring to. Everything is black-and-white to me. But I have heard about that fancy, newfangled Technicolor you’re talking about. It would be really nice one day to see AEW go live in Technicolor. I hear it’s going to be all the rage.

Solomon: I have one more important question that I wanted to ask you, and this has to do with things that are even bigger than AEW. We know that a lot of people over the years, but especially these days, have kind of grown disillusioned with modern-day Hollywood. And you represent a timeless version of Hollywood that I think a lot of people are nostalgic for, or kind of miss in some ways–the glamor and the elegance. Could we ever expect to see “Timeless” Toni Storm bringing her timelessness, her elegance, her classic style to Hollywood itself?

Storm: What does that question even mean? What do you mean “bring my timelessness to Hollywood itself”? I’ve been in Hollywood my whole life. I’ve starred in a million movies, in all the major flicks. I’ve been a star my whole life, ever since childhood. I was born on set. Both of my parents were very famous actors, I create art, darling. And you will continue to see more and more pieces of art from me.

Solomon: I’m intrigued to learn of your being born on a movie set. I don’t think that fans are aware of that.That might be new information, broken right here in the pages of Pro Wrestling Illustrated. But didn’t you just tell me that you were never born, that you just exist?

Storm [waves in disgust]: Explain it however you like. Call it whatever you will. I was born into this business. I have been on movie sets my entire life. I am the very definition of Hollywood. All I have ever done is perform. I have performed so much my entire life that I can’t even remember my countless performances.

Solomon: Well, your performances certainly have been making an impression on audiences, as I said at the beginning of our conversation. You’re bringing back a certain something that’s been lost in the business.

Storm: I congratulate you on recognizing the obvious, yes. I just think we needed to bring that back, and that’s why I'm here. There’s been something missing from the business, from All Elite Wrestling. And I'm bringing a bit of the magic back, a bit of the art. It’s no wonder that audiences have been eating it up. I give them something to believe in. That’s what makes me stand out from the rest of the pack. And that’s what “Timeless” Toni Storm is all about. I would say that there should be even more of it–but then, of course, it wouldn’t stand out as much, would it?

[Ouch! Ms. Storm liberates the follicles from poor Skye Blue’s scalp. Tolerant of her “co-stars” until they stand in the path of her goals, Storm’s power ties in her ability to become ruthless at the drop of a hair curler.]

Solomon: No, it wouldn’t. That’s a great point, Ms. Storm. And you’re doing such an amazing job with it. I’m a huge fan.

Storm: as you should be. I appreciate all my fans and admirers. I definitely can’t say I blame them.

As with all brushes with greatness, there was only so much time to say all the things that I wanted to say, to ask all the questions that I wanted to ask. As the interview went on, it almost seemed like she was consumed deeper and deeper into this fantasy of her own making. I dared not challenge her too directly, as one never knows how someone in such a state might react. And far be it from me to shatter what's been so carefully constructed.

[“Now you’re just babbling darling. Do you have a question?”]

Eventually, the butler flashed me that pointed look that can only mean, “This interview is over now.” I politely thanked Ms. Storm and collected my things, thanking her for the gift of her precious time and excusing myself. After leaving the estate, I took one last wistful look back at the tarnished gables and overgrown landscaping that perfectly encapsulated the decadence that has overtaken the mind of Toni Storm. There is no point in debating the finer points of reality with someone like her. When all is said and done, reality is what you make it. And she has made her reality into something unforgettable and grand.

You might call it madness, but there is undeniably a method to it. Whether on the big screen or the same screen, “Timeless” Toni Storm is a big star.

#Aew #all elite wrestling #Toni storm #timeless toni storm #pwi #pro wrestling illustrated

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revserrayyu · 3 months ago

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2.4 Xianzhou continuance thoughts [part 2]

**SPOILERS** for everything up until entering the Shacking Prison, so as always, read at your own discretion if you haven’t reached this part of the story yet. Fair warning that I may mention some things that happen inside the prison as well, but hopefully not much. Sorry not sorry in advance for me obsessing over Feixiao.

As much as I adore Jiaoqiu’s character, I’m currently debating on pulling for him. After testing him out a bit inside the Shacking Prison, I realized I don’t really have a team that would suit him best? Of course I plan to pull for Acheron in the future but I might just hold off for now so I can save even more for Feixiao. I do hope these two and Moze have a good team synergy though. They seem like such a tight group and I’d love to use them all on a team one day.

Tee-hee, One Piece mention. Random, but I’m such a fan of Jiaoqiu’s fancy braid.

Noooo, I don’t like that her unknown medical issue can’t be healed! I mean, it’s not unheard of that Bailu pretty much said the same to Jingliu, about how bizarre it was and how there wasn’t much she could do to help. I don’t believe Feixiao to be mara-struck though, or at least I hope not. While this quest continued on the thought of her transforming into a Borisin came to mind a couple times but I have my doubts. I haven’t delved deep into any leaks about her lore so I can only speculate at this point. Even if those deaths in Penacony were fake, I don’t need any more to happen here, please.

Good boy!! Keep your promise! Heal this queen! I beg of you! I won’t lie, him being so dedicated to keeping his promise (which I’d love to hear the backstory of) to her sorta kinda flips a little switch off in my head saying “ship,” and I’m on board.

Been chatting about this a lot with others, but the question as to why Feixiao has no tail despite being a Foxian is interesting. I personally assumed that the lack of a tail was a result of some harsh battle where she got badly injured, but even with this brief flashback, it doesn’t appear that one is visible here either. Maybe she lost it before this fight? Or perhaps she never had one? Could not having a tail be the cause of her condition? Or was it really taken off from her? I haven’t a clue and it’s another reason why I’m so fascinated by her. Hopefully 2.5 sheds some light upon her past, or at least her character stories once she becomes playable.

Here’s another moment where the whole Borisin transformation idea popped into my head, especially after seeing how capable they are with shape shifting. Learning that the Foxians and Borisin share a common ancestor, the idea changed to Feixiao possibly being half and half? If so, then the condition she’s suffering from might be the Moon Rage? Similar to what we experience when fighting the Borisin down in the Shackling Prison. Add Bailu’s comment about “enjoy some tasty food” and how hungry Hoolay was too.. hmm. Doesn’t help he and Feixiao both have white fur. With how much the Foxians detest the Borisin, keeping this part of herself hidden would but ultimately stressful and probably taxing on her physical and mental health.

Moze is just.. so unironically funny. We have this heavy conversation happening and he chooses to cling to something so simple a food, which is fair. Food is always a good thing.

When Feixiao mentioned she was going to meet up with an old war friend, no alarms rang in my head telling me that it could be another Foxian that I enjoy, which is a shame but also wonderful because the surprise of her and Yukong being friends was worth it. 30 years might not seem like a long time for them, but it’s a decent chunk for people like us.

And yet so much has happened during those years for them. The time does throw me through a loop though.. I always imagined that Yukong lost Caiyi and gave up flying so much longer ago? Because then Qingni (Yukkong’s adopted daughter) couldn’t be much older than 30, right? Caiyi had just returned from maternity leave before she lost her life and Qingni never even knew of her real parents until the events of Yukong’s companion mission. I dunno, I’m just surprised. I definitely thought the daughter was older than that and the tragic loss in Yukong’s life happened ages ago.

Everyone give your utmost praise to Jiaoqiu right now for keeping our gorgeous general alive!

For real though, what on earth even happened to Jingliu and Luocha? like they both showed up in the Shackling Prison at the end of the main Xianzhou story alongside Jing Yuan, but stuff also happened in Jingliu’s companion quest at Scalegorge Waterscape where Luocha was sent away with some Cloud Knights before Jingliu’s fight with Blade where the quest just sorta ends there afterwards. My memory is terrible and I’m not entirely sure which order these events play out, but whatever they’re up to, they’ve been awfully quiet. With how often Jingliu’s name is brought up later on, it gives me small hopes that she could return in the later half of the story. Wouldn’t that be nice to see her take down Hoolay again?

Poor Jing Yuan can’t catch a break with these accusations. This entire quest also feels like the first time I’m hearing so much of this Marshal, but I’m certain it’s just my memory failing me. The main story of the Xianzhou wasn’t my favorite mission out of the bunch, but I am enjoying this one, surprisingly.

I do love the bond these women share with each other. Yukong asks about the Alliance’s plan regarding Jing Yuan and Feixiao graciously provides answers knowing that Yukong can keep a secret. Respect! You love to see it!

Suddenly, the Prisoner of Deep Confinement relic set makes sense to me. I never really took the time to look into the details considering how little DOT units I actively use, but it’s pretty cool to see where the inspiration for it came from and it actually being worn like this.

Now when “Whistling Flames” was mentioned, I first thought of that ghost ship Yukong saw at Fyxestroll Garden for reasons I’m not entirely sure of, but after some light searching, it’s apparently the guild Tingyun was part of?

It sweet to know that Yukong still hasn’t given up searching for clues about Tingyun might actually alive, but if Ruan Mei somehow found Tingyun first, I dunno if I should be relieved or concerned considering our crazy scientist had a habit of.. experimenting.

With how much chatter the Wardance received from trailers and livestreams, I’m honestly shocked that there isn’t much about it happening in the story? It may be because I’m hyperfixating on Feixiao and everything else much more, but my interest isn’t nearly as piqued as I thought it would be. I haven’t done that one side quest revolving around March so I assume there’s more to it there, but so far her sword training arc seems more of a background story. I did find it cute how both her masters gave her gifts at the start, with Yunli providing her new outfit and Yanqing crafting the swords, of course.

Yo, generals! Come pick up your kids! They’re still arguing about nonsense!

And you’re both adorable with your pink hair. Now be friends!

I have a sneaking suspicion that this man could very well poison someone if he wanted to.

I don’t remember much about this brief scene.. something about Yanqing’s doubts and the obstacles he faces or whatever, but it was pretty.

Moving a highly dangerous criminal out of prison to somewhere else? Surely nothing will go wrong! And definitely not right before you make your own move either! That would be crazy.

To no ones surprise, things do eventually take a turn for the worst, but that’s all to be discussed next, so have this, because why not:

Because I clearly haven’t obsessed over her enough already. No way.

#honkai star rail #feixiao #jiaoqiu #moze #yukong #march 7th #yanqing #yunli #gameplay #revs rambles

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thisaintascenereviews · 10 months ago

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I Was Wrong About Deathcore

Deathcore as a genre has gone through quite a transformation over the last 20 years, especially in its early years. Bands like Bring Me The Horizon, Veil Of Maya, All Shall Perish, Suicide Silence, Whitechapel, and Job For A Cowboy brought forth a style of metalcore that took death metal elements into the fold, creating a heavier and more menacing sound. Unfortunately, the metal community hated it, and deathcore was mocked incessantly by the metal community. I remember countless metal publications crapping all over the genre, like it was nothing, and many elitists would say it’s not “real metal,” which you also heard with metalcore, but look at how big both genres are now. In retrospect, those people that doubted the genre and mocked it, their comments haven’t aged well, because both of these genres are insanely huge. Deathcore, in particular, is doing well for itself, but it wasn’t always like that. You can say the same for metalcore as well, and I’ve got a piece in the works about that, but for now, let’s talk about deathcore, and where it’s been for the past decade and where it may potentially go in the future.

I’ve expressed before that I’m just not into the genre anymore, but I’ve recently spent some time with a handful of albums, both from bands I know and bands I don’t, and I’ve come to the realization that I was wrong about the quality of the genre over the last few years. That’s not to say I’m a diehard fan now, but I wanted to write this piece to explain how I went from loving the genre as a teenager to not being much of a fan in my late 20s, only to enjoy it more now at 30. It seems like things like this go full circle, because I was the same way with metalcore as well, and only up until about five or six years ago, I didn’t really listen to a lot for the longest time. I loved deathcore in high school, partially because it was the “heaviest” music I had ever heard, at least at the time. I had already been a fan of metalcore, but deathcore was even heavier. The genre reached its peak in the early 2010s with the second coming of the genre, and that included Carnifex, Whitechapel, Thy Art Is Murder, and a lot of other bands. Those bands were already around, but they only ended up getting bigger. After a certain point, however, I saw the genre start to turn to how heavy and “brutal” a band could get, instead of writing good songs.

One of my biggest issues with heavier music that I run into a lot, depending on the genre, is that bands never know how to write a cohesive song, and instead, they want to be as heavy and brutal as possible, as well as cram as many riffs and breakdowns as possible. Bonus points if the vocalist sounds like a garbage disposal as well. I see this in progressive metal a lot, too, where the bands play as intricately and technical as possible, but they can’t make a catchy or accessible song worth a damn. There was a point where I thought musicianship was more important, but I don’t think so these days. These days, I’m more into listening to catchy and accessible stuff that has something to go back to, versus something that sounds impressive. Sure, you can play your instruments well, but why should I care if I don’t have anything to go back to? Deathcore has been going in that direction recently, being that bands are starting to be more accessible and memorable, versus trying to be as heavy and brutal as possible.

Lorna Shore’s latest record, Pain Remains, is a good example of that, but at the same time, that album is a good example of being over the top and overblown. Pain Remains is at an 11 constantly with its brand of symphonic and blackened deathcore, and while the album does try to get heavy and brutal, there is a lot of variety in both the musicianship and vocals. I reviewed that album a couple of years ago, and my biggest issue with it was how intense and over the top it was, but I don’t think it bothers me as much now, because I just needed to sink my teeth more into it. I didn’t spend enough time with it, and I see the album’s importance now, but I will admit that it’s a very overwhelming album at times, because it throws a lot at you. It throws a lot of different things, though, and that’s a good thing. Relistening to that album recently made me dive back into the genre for a bit, including the new Carnifex album from last year, Necromanteum. I liked that album a lot when it came out, despite it being pretty similar to what they’ve been doing, but Carnifex is a good example of a deathcore band that has more going for them than just being brutal and heavy. They utilize symphonics as well, and black metal riffery, so there’s more or less a good amount of variety on the album.

I’ve listened to a handful of other things, including the new Drown In Sulphur album, Dark Secrets Of The Soul, and I will say that blackened deathcore has become the new trend of the genre, aside from being brutal and heavy, but it all depends on the band’s ability to execute it. Like with all trends, it’ll fade, and the next new thing will come, but it looks like bands trying to be as brutal as possible is the thing of the past and the blackened deathcore sound is what’s big, so I’m looking at the genre with some optimism again, and I’m enjoying some of what I’m hearing. Another great album I’ve been into is the debut Ov Sulfur album, The Burden Ov Faith, in which the band tackles symphonic and blackened deathcore, along with some metalcore and hard rock influence by including clean vocals on the majority of the record.

It’s not that I don’t like bands being really heavy and brutal, it’s that I don’t care for it when that itself is the gimmick. There’s nothing with merely doing that, and sounding like that, but I want there to be more at this point in time. Maybe 20 years ago, it was new and fresh, but now it’s boring and played out, so I’m happy to see a band like Lorna Shore really do something with that. Other bands are following suit, and who knows where the genre will go in the next few years, especially when this trend dies down, but if this is where the the genre is now, I could get into this. Deathcore may not reach the same heights it did ten years ago, but times change, and it’s great to see some newer bands carrying the torch for any certain style of music.

#lorna shore #pain remains #suicide silence #thy art is murder #veil of maya #ov sulfur #signs of the swarm #carnifex #whitechapel #job for a cowboy #deathcore #bring me the horizon #metal #heavy metal #metalcore

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charmedchapters · 28 days ago

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10 Recommendations for Spooky Season

After digging through my own Good Reads 'read' shelf, I created a list of 20+ book recs from ones that I have rated highly in the past and then condensed them down to the top 10 best books for this time of year. There are so many I would have loved to add! But I tried to keep this list to just the ones I feel are underappreciated.

So, in no order:

"Somehow, I always knew it was going to come back to this. Me. Alone with the dead."

As soon as I finished reading the last page, I flipped back to the first page and started reading for a second time! Dead Silence is like a mash up of Ghost Ship and the setting for the last half of The Fifth Element (goodreads summary suggests Titanic and The Shining, I can see that too sort of). Clair Kovalik and her crew have just hit the motherload after finding the Aurora, and abandoned luxury space cruise ship, on their way back to Earth and decide to salvage/explore the vessel.

The Aurora is hauntingly beautiful and frozen in time, literally, as all of the passengers are now frozen corpses floating in macabre horrific scenes of their last moments before death. As Clair and their crew dig deeper into the truth behind the mystery of the Aurora they uncover more than they hoped to find, and more than they'd ever want to. This is one of my favorite sci-fi horrors and I definitely recommend it for a good spooky read!

read date, rating: 11/02/22, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“You liked me best when I was like an oil painting; perfectly arranged and silent.”

This is a beautiful love letter, written by Constanta and addressed to Dracula. It starts with her revival and transformation into his bride. Recounting their time together and travels as they explore a world that is ever changing while they do not. The atmosphere was rich and I loved the details mentioned as time passed around them.

I found this to be so heart breaking at times because Constanta is in an endless battle with herself over a man who simply doesn't love or respect her any longer. But the life that he has given her is her entire existence. This is a multi layered read and one that should be enjoyed on the darkest, cloudy October day.

read date, rating: 03/30/24, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“But even blackness, when there’s nothing to contrast it against, is it truly black? Or is it just… nothing?”

A human experiment derailed, a government agency with too many secrets and a man who has sacrificed everything to keep his job. Intercepts are people who have been overexposed with the purpose of unlocking the power of the mind in order to use it to find anyone in the world with just the most insignificant clues. But what happens when intercepts harness this power for themselves? I hope I'm not giving too much away for this one, it was a fantastic sci-fi body horror and a very quick read! I highly recommend it if you're looking for a book that is so incredibly insane you will want to share it with every horror fan in your life!

read date, rating: 03/03/24 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Rule number one of staying alive in the shed: He always wins. For five years, you have made sure of it.”

Aidan Thomas is living a double life. He's the stand up guy, a family man, a loving father and husband. But after the death of his wife, his two lives collide. Aidan is keeping a dark secret in his home. He and his thirteen year old daughter move to a new house and the new tenant isn't renting the upstairs bedroom, she's his captive that he has kept in a shed for many years.

Rachel went missing when she was a young girl, she doesn't know if her family is even looking for her anymore. But with this new found "freedom" as she is forced to play a role has given her renewed hope that she can finally escape. I couldn't put this down, The Quiet Tenant consumed me and I would love to read it again for the first time!

read date, rating: 07/12/23, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“death is as certain as the dawn, and just as a new day will come, so too will the new dead rise. ... and we will be there. so the living may thrive, and the dead may rest in peace.”

Wren is facing her final trial before ascending to the prestigious rank of Valkyr. A rank that means she becomes one of the warriors for the House of Bone who fight ghosts. In this trial, Wren and other Valkyr trainees lead small groups of mages into dangerous territory to defeat and claim the bones of ghosts. But when something goes terribly wrong, Wren realizes that she was set up to fail. She is exiled to the Border Wall, the last line of defense against the ghosts where she meets Julian, another exile. This is only the beginning of Wren's quest to prove herself worthy of becoming a Valkyr, not only to the House of Bone, but her absent father.

This reminded me so much of what happened to John Snow in A Game of Thrones! Honestly if you haven't read that series, please do because they blow the HBO show out of the water, even if it's unfinished. The world Preto built for Bonesmith reminds me so much of Gideon the Ninth, with the different smith houses and dark magic system. I need to re read both books and finish the duo/series. But I highly recommend this as a dark fantasy for October!

read date, rating: 8/29/23,⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“The only explanation is that my senses, memory, and mind are conspiring against my well-being, and nothing’s scarier than that.”

I would say that Slade House borders the genre of short stories and haunted house trope. I read this book years ago and still think about it around this time of year because it's a great palate cleansing short, spooky read!

A stranger will meet you at the entrance to the house, they will invite you in and you are compelled to accept. Once inside, you are unable to leave. Thus, the curse of Slade House is set in motion. There are three short stories in this book, about three victims of the house. Drawn to it's front door for different reasons, meeting the same fate in the end. I'm not really a fan of short stories, I like a lot of fluff. But this book was different, I found it so complete and fun to read.

read date, rating: 07/22/16, ⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Some people go missing because they want to; some go missing because they’re taken. And then there are the others—those who go missing because they fall through a gap somewhere and can’t claw their way back.”

Iris Hollow and her sisters have always been strange, since their disappearance and sudden reappearance when they were children. When they came back they were forever changed and all bearing identical half moon scars on their throats.

Now, the eldest sister, Grey, has gone missing again. She left a trail of clues for Iris and her other sister to follow, but something sinister is also following them as they embark on a journey to find Grey and uncover the bizarre secrets from their childhood. Everything changes for the Hollow sisters when they find a door in the woods. This book is a wonderful mix of dark magic and mystery. House of Hollows is also inspired by various unsolved mysteries and Sutherland's visit to Sri Lanka, where she found "ghost doors" in the forests there. Selfishly, I would love to see this become a series or duology. But it's a great standalone.

read date, rating: 12/07/22, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“At night, her parents put her to bed and told her to stay there until morning. You see, the girl and her family weren’t alone. Another family lived nearby. And just as the girl played during the day, the other family liked to play outside at night.”

This was the first Darcy Coates book I've read, and it wasn't a mistake starting with Gallows Hill because I found every page of it to be creepy (in the best way!).

Margot has just inherited her family's winery and home, but she hasn't had contact with either of her parents in years. Soon after moving into the large estate, she realizes that the property holds a sinister secret. As the first night alone starts, the true curse of the house begins with a violent attack from an army of the undead. Margot learns of the reality of her parents' deaths and makes it her mission to find the source of the curse to put an end to it forever, before she meets the same fate as the rest of the Hull family.

Seriously, Gallows Hill is such a unique read, I immediately read another of Coates's books after finishing this one and now everything she has ever written is on my tbr. Start with this one if you're not sure where to begin!

read date, rating: 02/11/23, ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“In the night, the house settled. Creaks sounded in the hallways like errant footsteps, windows popped in their frames, china rattled in the cupboards, and pictures suddenly slipped awry on the walls.”

Two families visit Beldame every year and stay in two out of three of the Victorian homes on the gulf. This year is is a little less joyous, a little more bleak as they are vacationing after a family funeral. The main character in The Elementals is India, the youngest member of the family, as her curiosity of the third house grows and she ultimately finds that something has been living in the home and it now has it's sight set on her.

I think one of the things that made this book so spooky was the fact that India could see the house at night and things that moved in the windows. It was filled with drifting sand and nearly condemned. This is an older book, I really enjoyed it and think that it's underappreciated compared to much newer books.

read date, rating: 02/27/17, ⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Ma'am," I tell her. "Your husband was trying to eat you." "A misundertanding !" she insists, still waving the only arm she has left. I press my fingers to the bridge of my nose. "He ripped off your arm." "An accident." "He ate it." "He was hungry. It's a shame to let these things go to waste.”

City of Nightmares is on this list for a reason. That reason is that within the world Schaeffer built for this duology, when people sleep and have nightmares, they wake up forever changed into their worst nightmare. It's just hard to wrap your mind around! Imagine waking up as a zombie, disfigured monster or even a vampire (some of which actually do sparkle). I thought this was such a unique concept for a book.

Ness's sister faced such a reality when she woke up as a giant spider and slaughtered so many people. Now, Ness is terrified of receiving the same fate and has turned to a cult called Friends of the Restful for safety. While trying to prove her place among the ranks in the cult, Ness finds herself stranded with a nightmare boy she cannot trust as they work to find out who is deliberately turning people into monsters. I still need to read the second book in this duology, the first one was so fun and interesting.

read date, rating: 07/02/23, ⭐⭐⭐⭐

If you've read this far, I hope I was able to influence you to read one of my recommendations from this list!

#bookblr #booklr #books #books & libraries #books and reading #bookworm #reading #book recommendations #spooky season #spooky month #october #horror #thriller #mystery #fantasy

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agentnico · 2 months ago

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The Substance (2024) review

Right, so that was one of the most disgusting films I’ve ever seen. Like I’ll never eat shrimp again, just saying.

Plot: Elisabeth Sparkle, renowned for an aerobics show, faces a devastating blow on her 50th birthday as her boss fires her. Amid her distress, a laboratory offers her a substance which promises to transform her into an enhanced version of herself.

It’s fair to say that 2024 hasn’t been a particularly memorable year for films thus far. In fact outside of Dune I haven’t been truly amazed by any of the releases, and as such have been diving deeper into discovering older movies, mainly through boutique labels like The Criterion Collection, BFI and Indicator. Which don't get me wrong has been wonderful, but I’ve missed seeing decent films at the cinema. However we’re now in the fall movie season which is when all the indie fare that has finished their film festival circuit run now get released to us the regular audience, as well as films that are fighting for a chance to contend at the upcoming award ceremonies. So fingers crossed these last few months redeem 2024, and if The Substance is anything to go by then I thinks movies may truly be back!

The Substance is the type of movie that is made to shock and unsettle an audience. There’s a lot of disturbing imagery, with blood and gore and body horror, very reminiscent of horror films of David Cronenberg like The Fly and Naked Lunch. The final 30 minutes especially are so fun to watch with a crowd of people in a packed theatre, as it’s a kind of visceral and grotesque experience that is at the same time disgusting, horrible yet funny. Let’s not even sugarcoat it - the final 30 minutes are so f-ed up and it was a thrill to experience that with an audience, hearing the gasps and squirms from fellow moviegoers. Definitely up there as one of my favourite cinema trips.

Demi Moore is fantastic here, giving a truly brave performance that carries a lot of commentary in itself. She ends up doing a lot of the emotional work through her eyes, especially to the end of the film, and I must say I can’t recall seeing a performance from her as powerful and memorable as this. She really throws herself into the extremism of this movie, however it is one of the quieter scenes where she really delivers, where her character is getting ready to go on a date but can’t leave the house because of how ashamed she is of her ageing body. It is in this moment where I felt an earnestness that really struck a chord, and a welcome one, as overall this is a pretty campy horror comedy. I say comedy as this movie is really funny, even in the more horrific parts, as the film is aware of its ridiculous premise and satirises the idea of beauty and fame. Oh, and the presence of an over the top Dennis Quaid only added to the parody nature of it all, even though I have read that Quaid’s role was originally meant for Ray Liotta before his unfortunate passing, which makes me wonder of what could have been. Margaret Qualley rounds up the cast as “perfect version” of Moore’s character, and she did fine, though her role was primarily to be eye candy, so I’m reality could have been played by anyone.

We need to also discuss the sound design - it’s impeccable! You hear every crunch, breath and slimy move, so much so that I’m certain this movie would be the biggest turn on for fans of ASMR. The soundtrack too is full of heart-pumping beats, and overall it felt like the director wanted you to FEEL every part of the movie as if you were partaking in the substance yourself.

The Substance is a wonderful and absurd time at the movies, and as long as you’re not too squeamish you’ll have a grand time. Just make sure not to eat anything beforehand, especially not shrimp. Like genuinely I’ve now witnessed some of the most obnoxious chewing ever! Thanks Dennis Quaid!

Overall score: 8/10

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clearancecreedwatersurvival · 1 year ago

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As a follow-up to my let people use fanfiction as narrative therapy post I would also like to state for the record:

Ain’t nothing wrong with self insert fanfiction. Or Mary Sue OCs that are basically self inserts. Also nothing wrong with people writing ‘bad’ fanfiction that has nothing to do with the canon really. I don’t give a shit. People are making art and that’s awesome. I may not read stuff that isn’t to my personal tastes, but I am Glad people are making their art regardless. Especially young people. Especially people who are otherwise new to writing. Hell yeah, Make Art.

One thing I have noticed about fandom on tumblr is that in very large fandoms with mass appeal, there are often a lot of kids and youths and young folk watching or reading and thus wanting to create transformative art about it. This also means that a high concentration of fic may tend more towards having less to do with the actual canon of the thing and being more focused on whatever those kids really wanted to write or read about it. To discuss one specific example, the largest subsection of fandom that currently exists around the DC batman franchises on this site is the batfam fandom, a fandom comprised mostly of younger fans who are fans more of the platonic ideal of batman and his adopted kids and close associates that only really exists in their own works and also the webtoon**** For most of those people the appeal is the found family aspect, and that’s what they want to read and write about. Hell yeah. Good for them. At least they’re writing. At least they’re making art.

****I know there are a lot of people in the batman comics fandom that have serious issues with the webtoon and the way that dc comics publishing agendas have begun to reflect more what people on the internet are talking about and less coherent storytelling that makes sense based on past canon. And this is a very fair criticism.

But this is not a problem limited to dc. This is a problem of all major production companies who produce art for mass release. TV shows being written in response to what people say on reddit has been ruining creative endeavors in an obvious way at least since Game of Thrones was airing. Books being published based on what will be popular on tiktok derived from the popularity of some frankly terrible novels (yes I do mean acotar) leads to some absolute drivel on the best seller list. Of course the comics industry is also fucking things up the same way.

Your enemy there are not the young fans new to fandom who are just discovering writing fanfiction and doing so by writing about whatever interests them most. Please stop blaming kids and other people who aren’t writing fanfiction close enough to your concept of canon for this problem, it is far bigger than that.

Let people make their maybe bad art in peace. Everyone has to make bad art on the road to learning how to make better art. I am glad they are making their art regardless.

Also no shade meant to those fans this is just an observation and I wish you all well, but I do find it a little funny that the people who Are experts on the dc comics canon who I have seen criticize the existence of the batfam fandom on here are also usually like ‘this is my favorite character, I hate every single run this character has ever been in except this one from 30 years ago and five panels of this one run that got cancelled early.’ Like, you don’t really like most of the canon you wish other people would familiarize themselves with right? Give new fans a chance to want to learn more about it. Most of the fans in that circle are pretty young, they’re gonna have kinda bad taste sometimes and that’s fine and good actually. They’ll grow out of it and maybe some of them will come to know the comics canon more closely.

This is also why even though I am vocal about personally disliking the works of SJM (acotar my beloathed) and its impact on the publishing industry, I am honestly happy for anyone that read those books and enjoyed them. Same for every other book I don’t like. If you read it and get something out of it hell yeah good for you. I was unironically into twilight for many years as a teen I am not here to pass judgement on teens or anyone for that matter for what they enjoy.

Most big fandoms I have dipped my toes into have this same problem. If there are a lot of young people in that fandom, there’s gonna be a lot of fanfic that is written by people just learning to write, and that’s great, I love that actually, good for them. But those are always the fandoms where I see people being perhaps more vitriolic than necessary towards other fans for not being up to snuff. Let people make art that you don’t think is good, please. It’s fine actually. If you don’t like it you don’t have to read it. Just be glad someone is making art that makes them happy and move on.

#this is a long one but I have been seeing a lot of this tendency to blame new writers for not keeping to canon #and I have been having some Thoughts. so #fandom #transformative fandom #fanfiction #fandom discourse #fandom sociology #batfam #publishing #television writing #sjm critical #caitie speaks

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something-pithy · 1 year ago

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Notes and an Update: Astarion, Tav, and Trauma in Stories

Pictured above: actual footage of trauma response from Astarion (j/k! kinda!) to catch your eye :D

Hey glittercats and cosmic kittens!

So I've definitely been neglecting the updates here, which I'm going to try to do better with.

We're up to Chapter 11 on this bad boy, and I've adjusted the anticipated chapter count to 30 (but honestly it's probably still all lies because I have absolutely no sense of how much writing each point on my outline ends up being loool).

I have a DOPE beta who's fucking amazing both in terms of conventions and idea partnership and I'm telling you right now, this story is so much better for having their hands and eyes on it.

SOME CONTENT WARNING STUFF RE: THIS CHAPTER:

Alcohol use disorder (AUD) and symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

MORE DETAILS ON THIS -- SPOILERS AHEAD, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

So hopefully that's enough room for people who don't want to be spoiled to escape!

So I'm going to copy/paste the end note on the story, and expand on it a little bit.

So, although Tav is a "good drunk," as Frank Gallagher might put it, she is 1000% engaging in pretty serious substance abuse, or to be more specific in this chapter, alcohol use disorder. I'm not going to go into the way this story is going to approach mental and behavioral health disorders and trauma; hopefully it will speak for itself. Suffice it to say substance abuse and trauma are not the central subject of this story, but also, Astarion and Tav as they exist in this little pocket dimension of the BG3 universe have been impacted by the trauma they've each experienced both together and as individuals. In general, the impact of trauma can look and feel a lot of ways. Sometimes it's horrifying, sometimes it's heartbreaking, sometimes it's rage-inducing - but let's be honest, sometimes that shit is funny, too, because humor is such an incredible survival tactic / coping mechanism. Even if sometimes we're laughing at shit that shouldn't be funny. (Maybe especially then.) This story isn't going to be an after-school special or a PSA. It's a story about people, and sometimes people are fucked up (literally and figuratively). Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now. If this has activated you, or you have earnest questions or concerns about what's going on in this story / with these characters, or you just want to shoot the shit, hit me up on my tumblr. There might be more notes there on this eventually, but for now, this chapter actually took a lot out of me and I'm still out here with these perpetual COVID symptoms, so... lol NOT TONIGHT. As always, thank y'all for reading, kudosing, and commenting.

OK, so I may have lied about the no notes part... but honestly, in re-reading that note, I think it kind of gets to the point.

But ALSO...

I've been a geek on the internet for a long, long time. I've engaged with different fan-based writing and roleplaying communities (tabletop, chat-based, forum-based, butt-based -- EVERYTHING) for pretty much the entire time.

"The Tragic Backstory" seems like it's been A Whole Thing since people started creating characters whether for roleplay or stories.

I think times have changed somewhat, but back in the day I ran in circles where a lot of thoughts about writing, creating characters, roleplay, etc. coexisted somewhat peacefully, but an old chestnut that consistently (maybe without fail) turned up in any conversation that involved Writers of Quality was a contingent of folks who had deep disdain for The Tragic Backstory.

I'm talkin' some deep, scathing, elitist shit, my beautiful people.

And I'm not gonna lie to you! This is approximately ten thousand years ago (no but seriously, decades), and honestly, I was up in those conversations, too, throwing around my disdain, assured by my fellow elitists that even though I frequently employed some form of Tragic Backstory, it was OK when I did it because it was good.

I mean in retrospect, it's kinda bullshit. There's always gonna somebody who's gonna think your shit's good, and there's also always gonna be somebody who thinks they're a Better Writer Than You who's gonna think your shit is... well, shit.

Not gonna lie, I still have very strong and particular preferences when it comes to the fic I read in general, and that includes backstory.

But over time, I got progressively less insecure (not just about my writing, but in general) and consequently less concerned with judging writing that's not my flavor as "bad" or "shitty" or "juvenile" (looool seriously, I was a dick) and more concerned with finding and creating writing that is my flavor.

However, and I don't think I'm going to apologize for it, some dickish tendencies linger in my soul. I'm going to try and frame these thoughts in terms of what compels me in a story I'm reading and what I do (or try to do) in my own writing.

This is a very long way of saying if something I say (or have already said) makes you feel like I'm coming for your neck, please know that I'm not.

My thoughts and/or opinions may cause you or someone you love to feel Some Type of Way. That is not my intention. I have no desire to:

Yuck anyone's yum

Contribute to or activate the crippling self-doubt that plagues almost every creative I've ever met

Be a dick.

Having said all that, I do have Thoughts on This Matter.

People write for a lot of reasons, but I'm fairly convinced that nobody's doing it with any level of purity. There are tons of incredible, beautiful, moving stories that feature a whole-ass Self-Insert, maybe even the dreaded Mary Sue.

(lol lookin' at you Dante's Inferno, Tyrion Lannister from A Song of Ice and Fire, and countless others lol)

People write to explore topics and themes that interest them, that compel them, that they see recurring in the world around them and/or their own lives.

One of those things is trauma.

In my writing, I approach trauma, disordered behaviors, dysfunction, dysregulated emotions, etc. (topics both of great interest to me and, not coincidentally, ones with which I have a great deal of personal experience) from a place of wanting fervently to tell the truth.

And I'm pretty good writing some things that feel true.

But I know that in some ways, I've shied away from harder truths; from using my writing and the characters I create not only as reflections of what I see in the world, but as accurate (rather than idealized) reflections of myself.

Because of this, while I've explored redemption arcs in roleplaying games (where being cheesy or facile or juvenile or fulfilling personal fantasies felt much safer than on a page), I've skirted neatly around it, I think, in my writing (for the most part). Because I absolutely was the girl who wanted to "save" or "fix" the wounded (and emotionally unavailable, and/or abusive, and/or toxic) lover. I wanted stories about it. I wanted to roll around in that narrative, bathe in it, eat it up for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

All while occupying the role/perspective of The Good One / The Good Girl whether in a game or in a story I was consuming.

But it's not the truth. Not the whole truth, at least. Not for me, anyway.

My admiration, respect, regard, and all the other good words for the writing and acting in Baldur's Gate 3 cannot be overstated. Each of the "origin" characters (and honestly, any character "Tav" has the opportunity to even have a conversation with, much less spend a significant amount of time with) is thoughtfully and truthfully written. I see this more in some than others, but that depth and breadth of understanding about human beings -- sorry, sentient beings -- shows up all over the place and honestly I almost can't stand how much I love it.

I'm not going to say that there's no character I feel this as deeply with as Astarion, but... idk, sometimes.

But there's no need to quantify this. Astarion is one of a number of characters from the game that I'm low-key obsessed with.

As such, when I decided to take on the story outcome in which, in my opinion, he throws all the growth, all the processing, all the truth and reconciliation I saw him moving toward in the game into a fucking woodchipper, I did not want it to be easy.

I get wanting it to be easy, and there are delicious, delicious fics out there that go this route. I think anybody who writes Ascendant Astarion at least flirts with it.

And it's not a binary; it's not either, "OMG this is completely uncomplicated, I love you I'm your spawn and it's just like if you hadn't ascended except your SUPER EXTRA POWERFUL AND SEXY AND HOT AND WHOOPS THERE GO MY PANTIES" (which, tbh... lool I'm not mad at) or "ASTARION IS IRREDEEMABLE LET ME WRITE OF HIS TRAGIC DEMISE AND TAV'S TRAGIC WITNESS TO IT / ENGINEERING OF IT." Which I'm ALSO not mad at, because THOSE THINGS CAN BE TRUE.

But while I'm subscribed to some stories that follow those paths or ones like them, and when I get that notification it's time to STOP THE PRESSES bc mama needs to READ, for me the challenge of this is if I'm going to continue Astarion and Tav's love story (or rekindle it lol), I want to honor the four years of intense character work Neil Newbon and Stephen Rooney and honestly the whole goddamn BG3 team from soup to nuts have done by considering "What would really happen here" as brutally as possible.

Komo, my incredible thought partner-cum-beta, can tell you about the pages of back and forth between us about "fml, how can we make this story work and maintain fidelity to the integrity* of these characters???? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

*not personal integrity -- meta shit. The integrity of their arcs, development, personalities, histories, traumas, etc.

SO. Back to trauma.

I said in my end note for chapter 11 that this story is not an after-school special (which looool probably at least some of you are like wtf are you talking about my dude and I'm like looooool omg life before kids were a whole target demographic unto themselves - kind of lol) or a PSA.

Which alludes to the fact that YES, I want to tell the truth about the ugliness of this relationship and the individuals in it with nuance and empathy and sensitivity; that I want to write about the pain and harm and longing and ache and all of it in ways that are neither hyperbolic nor diminishing.

But also, look, my darling motherfuckers, my comrades in fuckery, whoever's made it this far into this rambling monster of a -- whatever the fuck this is lool -- PEOPLE WHO HAVE TRAUMA ALSO HAVE FUN.

SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ENGAGING IN BEHAVIORS THAT ARE DESTRUCTIVE TO THEMSELVES AND/OR OTHERS.

I don't think I've sufficiently unpacked this part to dig down much deeper into it, but what I will say is that this is not going to be a passion play about Poor Tav or Drugs Are Bad, Mmkay? or anything else.

What this is going to be (or at least, what I passionately want it to be) is -- framed with a delicious little fake-dating muffin of an emotional MacGuffin -- a portrait of some people in all (or lordt jebus please let me achieve at least MOST) of their complexity.

ALL OF IT.

Lordt Baby Jebus, Allah, Milal, Great Spaghetti Monster, ANYBODY

(not Lolth lol)

hear my prayer!

Aight, that's all I've got for today. <3

If you made it this far, PM me and tell me something you want to see in the story! I'll make you a treat.

And if it don't fit in the story, I might be able to make a li'l drabble happen.

COMING SOON to Writing Notes Storytime:

Identity in this story and in stories in general

The Good, the Bad, and the Neutral: Alignment and Astarion (and some other ppl, too!) in BG3, DnD, and This Story lol

Stuff I'm forgetting bc I'm STILL not over this never-ending COVID fuckery

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toonabby · 1 year ago

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(NOTE: This post was made 4 days late)

Happy 25th anniversary to Animax!

For those who don't know: Animax is a Japanese animation satellite television network owned by Sony that was launched on May 20th, 1998, dedicated to broadcasting anime programming. The channel also dubbed other cartoons in Japanese language. (source: Wikipedia)

I also forgot to mention that Animax also has a sister channel: Kids Station, which was launched on April 12, 1993, making the channel 30 yrs old as I am writing this post. For those who don't know what it is, it's a Japanese children's television channel showing anime and other cartoon material. While children's programming is their primary demographic, they have also been known to air some teen and adult-oriented anime during the evening hours like Narutaru, Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi, Mr. Osomatsu, Genshiken, Naruto, Naruto: Shippuden, Kujibiki Unbalance, and Rosario + Vampire. It is broadcast 24 hours a day on cable and satellite TV. (source: Wikipedia)

(It's more of a late anniversary post for the latter channel, since I didn't know that channel's existence at the time)

Animax is more known for its Southeast Asia channel that was launched on January 11, 2004 (19 yrs old soon to be 20 next year). It's, according to Wikipedia, a pay television channel in Asia owned by KC Global Media Asia that broadcasts Japanese language anime and Simulcast them through English language feeds in Southeast Asia sans Brunei, South Asia and East Asia. It was also the first television channel in Asia dedicated to anime.

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Overall, Animax is the best place for not just anime, but also everything else that is broadcasting in Japan. In fact, I was thinking of using this network as the basis for my new series; Animax is the main character, followed by Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. Kids Station, Cartoonito/Boomerang, Nick Jr/Noggin, and Disney Jr will be their sisters. Crunchyroll and Aniplex (both also owned by Sony) are Animax's childhood friends, and that's as far as the characters goes. I'll start working on the webcomic at the start of June, and the series would be scheduled for launch in October 2023. As for the animated series, I think I would push it forward by 2 years, since I'm still working on animation. The name of the series would be titled Rebineru - a portmanteau of the Japanese romanizations of television (テレビ lit. terebi) and channel (チャネル lit. chaneru). I'm thinking that the premise of the series would be something akin to the Hyperdimension Neptunia games - 4 nations guarded by our main characters who are able to transform into their super forms via "shares" and fight off the series' main antagonists. (I might try to rework that later on though). Though this "anniversary" post came off as longer than I thought, since it was also a "development" post regarding my series, I made this as a way to remind Western anime fans about this channel's existence and how they feel about. It's not really popular outside of Japan or SEA, and even if it is brought up it's mostly about their poor-quality "dubs". Animax is a very underrated channel and I want it to see it get the love it deserves. Thank you all for reading this.

#animax #kids station

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mugenmine · 2 years ago

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I posted 226 times in 2022

That's 22 more posts than 2021!

24 posts created (11%)

202 posts reblogged (89%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fuckyeahfightlock

@destinationtoast

@buckysbaron

@luthienebonyx

@pennypaperbrain

I tagged 210 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#stucky - 30 posts

#writing - 28 posts

#steve rogers - 27 posts

#mwt - 24 posts

#bucky barnes - 24 posts

#true facts - 23 posts

#mugen writes things - 19 posts

#captain america - 12 posts

#what remains - 10 posts

#you may never see - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 47 characters

#and came up with a wee 2-chapter one after that

My Top Posts in 2022:

10 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

I’ve got 50k words between two WIPs now. Six chapters deep into a long fic and two chapters into a 5-chapter novella. This time last year and for many years before that I had zero words. Things are definitely looking up. Not sure how long this writing bout will last this time, but enjoying it while it’s here.

12 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

Title: You May Never See - Chapter 1 Author: mugenmine Fandom: Captain America (MCU) Pairing: Steve Rogers/James “Bucky” Barnes Rating: NC-17/Explicit Chapters: 1/4 Wordcount: @ 5000 Contains: Pre-War II Steve and Bucky, Angst, Pining (tags will grow with each chapter)

Summary: His longing for Bucky flared up like summer allergies, some years the symptoms were relentless and painful in their severity, lasting weeks before they worked through his body and he could breathe again. Other times the feelings would be fleeting and easier to swallow back down. He didn’t know why this bout had lasted longer than all the rest, why thoughts of Bucky inevitably drifted to what his mouth would taste like, or what would happen if a touch was allowed to linger. This fever had been raging for more than a month now, and he just wanted it to fucking break.

* * *

So very weird to be writing/posting/putting stories out there again! New fandom, new pairing, new words. (same kinks, yo!) The story is complete and I’ll be posting it weekly. Thanks so much for reading!

15 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

10 Things I Learned From my Duran Duran Fanfic

I unearthed my Duran Duran fan fic from the closet the other night. I've been contemplating posting it on AO3 but after cringing/laughing hysterically for an hour I think it might just be better off staying in the vault. But I did learn a few things...

I was 12 when I wrote it. For some reason I thought I was older.

Prince shows up in the third act.

This might have been my first bondage fic... (Hello, Nick Rhodes!)

I wrote the entire fic in first person starring ME! (*facepalm*)

I paired my least favorite friend with Andy Taylor...

Everyone in England drives an Aston Martin.

Guess overalls are all the rage.

All of my friends grew up to be high fashion models or private investigators...

Halfway through the story everyone goes ice skating.

Somehow we all end up at Studio 54.

It clocks in at 115 handwritten pages. Yikes! Sadly I never gave the story a title.

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I was digging though my old LJ and found this entry and it still cracks me up. I'm still seriously thinking about transcribing this pencil-on-notebook paper disaster and posting it on Ao3 and just backdating it from the '80s... I'd have to change the names of all my school pals tho.

25 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You May Never See - mugenmine - complete

Title: You May Never See - complete Author: mugenmine Fandom: Captain America (MCU) Pairing: Steve Rogers/James “Bucky” Barnes Rating: NC-17/Explicit Chapters: 4/4 Wordcount: @18,500 Contains: Pre-War II Steve and Bucky, Angst, Pining, Body Worship, First Time, Bondage, Friends to Lovers, Pre-serum Steve, and more...

Summary: Of all the ways he’d imagined his first time with Bucky—and he’d imagined many—sitting tied up on his kitchen table in his underwear, while Bucky dug under the sink for the first-aid kit had never been one of them.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36746308/

************

And it's done! I guess I'm officially writing for a new fandom now, I've got the receipts! This is the first story in a series that I don't have a title for yet. I'm excited to start the next one...

36 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #kinda middling but nice to have a record

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im-no-jedi · 9 months ago

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I wasn't gonna add to this post cause I am FAR from new here, but I've seen some older folks share their info, so I've decided to join in✨

(this got long so I'm putting it under a cut, you're welcome 😝)

hello! 👋🏻 I'm Hannah, a mid 30s woman with a massive love for everything Star Wars! I also enjoy a plethora of other nerdy things, including video games (mostly Nintendo), dungeons and dragons (huuuuuge Critical Role fan!!), other Disney franchises (including Marvel), and various cartoons (AtLA, Gravity Falls, TMNT, Transformers, just to name a few!). I'm the oldest of four, with my younger siblings being @jam-n-ham, @knight-tyme, and my social media averse brother LOL. I was diagnosed last year with autism, ADHD, anxiety, and depression, and it's been a very uplifting journey of recovery since then (am currently on Zoloft for the anxiety/depression, and it's been VERY helpful 💙). I'm very artistic and like writing, drawing, and making graphics. I also occasionally make gifs when the urge strikes; several of you have used them in various posts (you may have even seen some of my meme gifs during the TCW era LOL).

my passion project right now is a long-spanning self-insert series of stories set in the TBB show called "My Life With The Bad Batch". it stars, well, me, getting whisked away from my mundane life by our favorite group of defective clones and creating a new life for myself with them. there's romance, humor, drama, domestic fluff, and loooooots of hurt/comfort hehe. it's mostly canon compliant for now, but I feel like I might start veering away from canon come season 3 😅. I started writing the first story back at the end of 2021 and finished it midway into 2022; it was my first time ever finishing a long fanfic like that, and I'm very proud of it! the series now spans across 11 different stories and oneshots, with the twelfth currently in progress, and consists of nearly 270,000 words!! I've even made artwork for it! I haven't touched it since last spring, but I plan on picking it up again now that the hype for season 3 is at peak!! \o/

I've been a SW fan for most of my life, with the franchise in general being part of my entire life due to my parents being og fans (my mom was hype for ANH before it even came out!!). The Phantom Menace was my official intro to the franchise, so I have a huuuuuge affinity for the prequel era. TCW is one of my favorite shows of all time, and I adored the TBB episodes (even the unfinished version LOL). I admittedly was skeptical about an entire show about them, but I quickly fell in love all over again from the very first episode. the biggest surprise for me was Omega, as I wasn't sure if I'd like her or not from the trailers. she has now become not just one of my favorite SW characters, but one of my favorite characters period. the relationship between her and the boys is the best thing ever, especially between her and Hunter. speaking of which, despite Hunter being my favorite of the group from the very beginning, I didn't like, fall in love until the TBB show. and when I say fall in love, I MEAN IT. I haven't felt this way about a character in a LONG time. I would dare say he's at the top of my fictional Husband list, easily 🥰

I love TBB because they remind me of my own family. I'm Hunter, @jam-n-ham is Echo, my mom is Wrecker, my dad is Tech, my brother is Crosshair, and @knight-tyme is Omega. we've gone through similar struggles as a family to TBB (even going so far as my brother and I having a rough relationship for several years before reconciling), so that's why I'm really rooting for them to have a happy ending. it's been a LONG road to recovery for my own family, so seeing a similar result for my comfort characters would be the best thing ever. also, this show has helped me come to grips with my own personal struggles, particularly my mental problems. it was because of Tech and Omega's moment in The Crossing that made me finally decide to get an official diagnosis, so I'll forever be grateful for that. my life has literally changed because of this show and these characters; I can't say that about any other piece of media, honestly.

so yeah. if you're like me and can relate to the characters, then just know you're not alone 💙💙💙

If I have to take the title of Most Inconsistent Imagery/Crappiest Graphic Designer on Tumblr, so be it. 😂 But there are so many new peeps I'm seeing on here, and I'd love to hear from you! So if you're interested, would you be so kind as to reblog this with some fun stuff?

What you love about The Bad Batch?

If you're an artist, writer, creator, reader, etc?

What you love engaging with on Tumblr?

Any other fun facts about yourself that might create connections with others here?

💙

#started writing this up a few days ago and forgot about it OOPS #anyway here's some info about me for any newbs #or anyone who might be curious about some things #I've talked about most of this stuff before #but it's always good to restate it 😊#star warz #about moi

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carolap53 · 2 years ago

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“…he must increase, but I must decrease.”

--John 3:30

Today, it’s Boxing Day in the UK, and as an American, when this holiday showed up on my phone’s calendar, it had me perplexed. Is it a day celebrating taking all those Christmas boxes to the recycle bin? Is it a celebration of pugilistic arts, the sweet science? Well, as my quick internet search revealed, it was originally intended as a day when servants, tradesmen, and domestics were given a box of gifts in appreciation for their service throughout the year. It sounds very Downton Abbey-esque in its origins, but it still brings to my sports-loving mind, the great boxers of the past: Ali, Frazier, Tyson, Holyfield, and Foreman.

Now, I have never been a big fan of boxing, but it reminds me that for many people Christmas is not a time of celebration or wonder at the birth of Christ, but just another day of boxing with God, questioning their faith in the face of great tragedy or difficulties in their personal life

As a pastor, I’ve had many people ask me, “Why they are facing such painful life circumstances?” And this is a very understandable question to ask. Life circumstances like grief, sorrow, suffering, heartache, and struggles of all sorts can stop us in our tracks.

And often, I have to answer these people by saying, “I honestly don’t know why.” Some things are imponderable. Of course, that doesn’t mean that we won’t understand sometime, but we may not know this side of heaven.

So there’s nothing wrong with you and I asking why. In fact, if you’re asking questions, you’re in good company. When John the Baptist, the man who introduced Jesus to the world, was imprisoned for preaching repentance, he also found himself in the dungeon of doubt. He sent word to Jesus, asking, “Lord, are you truly the Messiah or should we expect another?”

Now, if John, who Jesus called the “greatest man born of woman,” could feel the fog of doubt, take heart. But also determine to continue to move forward in faith… to trust… to believe… to hope.

Let the questions of life build your faith! Each trial is a lesson that can teach you about the content of your faith, the character of your commitment, and the caliber of your spiritual maturity.

Bring your questions to God, earnestly seek answers to your questions. Pray for His guidance. God is big enough, tough enough to spar with your doubts, and He will transform you.

LET THE QUESTIONS OF LIFE BUILD YOUR FAITH!

Jack Graham

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cozycottagetarot · 3 years ago

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Pick A Pile: How Can You Take Better Care of Yourself?

I did this reading a bit different from my others. It’s mainly based on impressions as I’m only using the images and any text on the cards at face value along with whatever else comes to me. So feedback would be appreciated. Another thing is the piles all have intertwining messages so if you feel drawn to two piles, then by all means I encourage you to check them both out.

Paid Readings (I’ll be updating them again)

Disclaimer: All readings and tarot/blog games are for fun and entertainment purposes only. It is in no way meant to act as or replace professional advice of any kind. You know yourself and what’s going on in your life best so I asks that you trust yourself above all else. Finally please take only what resonates from the reading which may be some of it, all of it, or none at all.

PILE 1

Tarot Cards: 7 of Cups, 8 of Wands, The Sun

Pile 1, the way you can take better care of yourself is by making a decision. With the 7 of Cups I see that you have all these opportunities being presented in front of you but you have no idea which one to go with. I get the impression from the cards that from postponing making a decision or choice, you’re starting to feel the brightness in other areas of your life dim. With the 8 of Wands and The Sun following however, I feel like once you make a decision, results and positive things will happen quickly, bringing you happiness. The Sun has a faint face depicted in it, so I feel like you don’t have to worry too much about unintended consequences. I see this as a sign you are being protected from unintended or unpleasant consequences as a result of your decision. Also, connecting with your inner child may be a way to help you make this decision.

The next cards that came out are: Protection (Call back your power. Cut the cords. Soul retrieval.) Soul Family (Call in your tribe. You don’t have to do it alone.) Anna, Grandmother of Jesus (Seeding the light, laying foundations. Divine plan.) The Ever-Unfolding Rose (Cracked open. It’s happening for you, not to you.)

With these cards I think some of you could be going through a 'dark night of the soul' (read: a very difficult time in your life). You may be feeling like somewhere along the line you’ve lost yourself or your direction as to where you’re heading next in life or what it is you truly desire (any Lucifer fans here because I hear Tom Ellis’s voice in my head haha). You may be asking yourself questions such as 'Why is this the way life is happening? Why me? Who am I even?' But even though it might seem unfair or lacking sense right now, keep in mind that whatever is going on is helping you in some format. Situations within reason of course, using your discernment here is best. It’s truly all about how you tell your story. Another thing is you don’t have to make these decisions on your own. Turn to your family and your friends for help/advice. If necessary, maybe you can seek professional help. If either or those things isn't really an option, you could always try taking some time to nurture yourself and journey inside to help you remember or figure out what’s important to you. When you make that effort to find/listen to yourself outside of the noise of everything else, I think that’s when you’ll find the information necessary to help make your decision.

Remaining Cards: The Hourglass Dolphin (46) — your achievement is only a matter of time. The Three Rhine Maidens (15) — love is a virtue that endure eternally.

The Hourglass Dolphin is all about finding balance between two aspects of your life, typically work and play. Dividing your time and remembering to put EXTRA care into taking care of your basic needs is another thing that’s going to help you find success. I feel like you are in a transitory phase and it really is only a matter of time before whatever darkness that may be clouding your life right now disappears.

The Three Rhine Mermaids talks about a phase in your life coming full circle, and once that happens your hearts desires are going to start materialising in your physical/the 3D.

The North Witch (23) — This card just kind of confirms or reiterates that with patience this dark phase is going to fade.

The Toad Witch (7) —This card talks about gaining wisdom from adversity. Also a secret admirer as well. There were messages of love laced through out the cards but they weren’t clear until now. Similarly, I think this will reflect in your life that after you’ve found stability once things have cleared up, you will find love as well.. or better yet, love will find you. Do keep in mind it might not be super quick… maybe Spring or Summer (depending on when you're reading this).

Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Look good; feel good (put effort into looking the way you want), Believe In Yourself, Have a fruit (incorporate more fruits into your diet).

PILE 2

Hello Pile 2. The way for you to take better care of yourself right now is through doing what makes you happy.

Tarot Cards: Ace of Swords, The Sun, The Devil

I actually pulled the Ace of Swords last. Also before I started focusing on your pile while shuffling, the Four of Swords reversed came out.

Thinking of these two cards together, I think you need to pull back and ask yourself if what you’re doing is really the best thing for you. I feel like you guys could be in a really good place right now— at least at face value. The cards have darker backgrounds, except The Sun. I feel like whatever you are doing isn’t really sparking joy inside. Maybe it’s familial or peer pressure related? The life path you’re on right now seems ideal and fulfilling to everyone else, but somehow I feel like deep down inside it doesn’t feel that way. You may feel chained or held back as shown by The Devil. Looking at The Sun and The Devil, they came out together side by side. I feel like this is more family related meaning parents, parental figures or mentors. They may be trying to look out for you by telling you to study a certain topic or take a certain job because it’s safe, when what you truly want to do may be a little bit more risky. So even though you’re playing it safe right now and have things to celebrate, you may not be able to shake the that unsatisfied feeling inside.

The next cards that came out are: Warrior Woman (Have you answered your deepest calling?) Play (Have fun. Celebrate. Don’t be so serious.) Break The Chain (Ancestral patterns. Healing. Rewriting the future.) Transformation (Things are changing at a cellular level. Deep healing.)

All the figures in these cards look like they’re in their power. It makes me think you may be ignoring or avoiding stepping into the energy of your higher self. I kind of had the though fear of backlash pop into my head, and while it is a valid fear, I don’t feel like it’s something you have to worry about a lot. I feel like you need to schedule more time for yourself in general as well. You can’t ‘fight’ for other people all the time, you also have to ‘fight’ for you.

I’m just noticing something about the placement of the cards. Warrior Woman has a sword and is placed right next the the Ace of Swords. Break The Chain is right next to The Devil, and the sun is shining in Transformation and Play, in the same position as the one in The Sun… As I was saying, I feel like you need to just take a moment to connect with yourself. Ask yourself what is it you truly want and begin rewriting your future*.

*This is the part where I let it be known I need people to practice life coaching with so if you’re interested you can message me. 18 years and up only though.

Remaining Cards: The Siren (14) — In the treasure of a day, light is thrown on what could be tomorrow. The Stripped Dolphin (30) Good news, flowing through the ether waves will answer your prayers.

The Siren Is mostly about observation and not forcing connections. The Stripped Dolphin is about good things happening for you, especially by surprise. It’s also about new beginnings in any area of your life. However there’s also a message about not getting caught up in many opportunities, so if you were drawn to pile 1 as well, I see this as a sign to check out the pile as well.

The Silver Moon Witch (2) has a message of being able to see progress by the next full or new moon. However this card advises you to choose carefully when it’s the right time to go with the flow versus ‘swimming’ against the tide. Relating to above, journey inside yourself to figure out if you are taking the right course if action by choosing to stick with the path you’re on versus yelling plot twist and doing something different.

The Full Moon Witch (18) has two sides to it. On one hand you can expect ‘heartfelt’ plans coming to fruition, but on the other hand emotions may be running high and words that aren’t meant may be said. This another one of the moon phases cards, so you may find during the full moon you may have disagreements with your loved ones but once it starts to wane, disagreements may also reach a resolution. I think this relates to the The Silver Moon Witch card as well, so maybe before or during a full moon may not be the best time to bring up anything that may cause a disagreement?

Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Journal, Get Creative, Listen To Music (there may be messages in songs for you)

PILE 3

Pile 3, you guys have been giving me hell from the moment I sat down to pull cards for your reading. From focusing and interpreting to editing. Everything was a mess and I’m assuming you a significant part of your life maybe as well? Or your headspace at least.

Aside from my struggles with your reading, based on the cards, I see you need to focus on yourself.

Tarot Cards: The Chariot, The High Priestess, Queen of Wands reversed.

Starting with your Tarot in no particular order, you have The Chariot, The High Priestess and Queen of Wands reversed. The Queen of Wands is my ideal (you) card. When it’s reversed, I see it as a sign [you] are not embodying the energy of your highest self and/or something in your life is out of balance. Both The Chariot and The High Priestess have black and white polarities, so I see it more as you needing to put yourself back into balance. Something may feel hidden from you, though you’re not really sure what and you want to push forward but it’s just not really happening? On the bottom of the deck is the 9 of Swords which notes to fear, depression, anxiety, etc and is needing to release those emotions. Obviously it can be more complex than it sounds, but I’m hoping you get the idea. Brain-dump came to me. Maybe you need to do a brain-dump and survey/assess your ‘kingdom’ so you can flip that Queen of Wands energy around and allow your chariot to race onward. The next cards that came out are:

The Crumbling (What are you clinging on to?) —> Do you need to release anything? Material items, a goal, a belief, way of life, or maybe just the act of trying to have it all together?

Boundaries (Where do you need to establish better boundaries?) —> Do you need better boundaries with yourself? Habits? People? Enviroment? School/Career?

Share Your Voice (Come out of the cave. Persecution. Expression.) It’s time to step into the limelight, because the world is your stage. Maybe you’ve been hanging back and suppressing who you truly are, but now it’s time to step forward into a new role… a you role. You don’t have to go from stand in actor to lead role over night, but do brainstorm and take baby steps daily to get there.

Keepers Of The Earth (You are not alone. Ancient ancestors stand beside you.) Take the meaning as you will, but I see it as a message to look for support in unexpected places. Maybe it’s an online community of people who can relate to you. Maybe it’s a book, article or video. Who knows, it could even be a friend or family member you didn’t think could relate or help you out. Remaining Cards: The Kraken (38) — Your success and happiness lie within you. The Great Sea Monster (37) — To accomplish you dream plan and believe.

The main theme of The Kraken is release. Good fortune/luck will come to you by delving into your subconscious mind to free the conscious. Returning to nature and the things that bring you inner joy. Good fortune coming in small waves which eventually grow into big ones.

The Great Sea Monster is about taking action and again, freeing your conscious mind by looking into your unconscious mind. Also there is more than one way to solve a dilemma, you just have to search the right way. The Immortal Witch (4) — new beginnings are happening for you, and your desires are on their way to you although it might not appear so currently. (Kind of like planting a seed. It’s growing though we can’t see it until it burst through the soil). The Fairy Ring Witch (9) — mental and physical communication. Connecting with or making friends with similar skills or talents. Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Tend to yourself, Slow and steady, Get creative, Read a book (maybe a self help book relevant to what you're going through).

#pick a card #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pick a picture #tarot reading #pick a pile reading #pac #pac reading #ariesmoontarot

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blackswaneuroparedux · 3 years ago

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Anonymous asked: I have always appreciated your thoughtful views on the defence of the British monarchy, and as a university historian it’s reassuring to see someone using history to make invalubale insights to a controversial institution. I wonder what are your own thoughts on the passing of Prince Philip and what his legacy might be? Was he a gaffe prone racist and a liability to the Queen?

I know you kindly got in touch and identified yourself when you felt I was ignoring your question. I’m glad we cleared that up via DM. The truth is as I said and I’m saying here is that I had to let some time pass before I felt I could reasonably answer this question. Simply because - as you know as someone who teaches history at university - distance is good to make a sober appraisal rather than knee jerk in the moment judgements.

Contrary to what some might think I’m not really a fan girl when it comes to the royal family. I don’t religiously follow their every movement or utterance especially as I live in Paris and therefore I don’t really care about tabloid tittle tattle. I only get to hear of anything to do with the royal family when I speak to my parents or my great aunts and uncles for whom the subject is closer to their heart because of the services my family has rendered over past generations to the monarchy and the older (and dying) tight knit social circles they travel in.

Like Walter Bagehot, I’m more interested in the monarchy as an institution and its constitutional place within the historical, social, and political fabric of Britain and its continued delicate stabilising importance to that effect. It was Walter Bagehot, the great constitutional scholar and editor the Economist magazine, who said, “The mystic reverence, the religious allegiance, which are essential to a true monarchy, are imaginative sentiments that no legislature can manufacture in any people.” In his view, a politically-inactive monarchy served the best interests of the United Kingdom; by abstaining from direct rule, the monarch levitated above the political fray with dignity, and remained a respected personage to whom all subjects could look to as a guiding light.

Even as a staunch monarchist I freely confess that there has always been this odd nature of the relationship between hereditary monarchy and a society increasingly ambivalent about the institution. To paraphrase Bagehot again, there has been too much ‘daylight’ shone onto the ‘magic’ of the monarchy because we are obsessed with personalities as celebrities.

Having said that I did feel saddened by the passing of Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh. After the Queen, he was my favourite royal. Anne, Princess Royal, would come next because she is very much like her father in temperament, humour, and character, so unlike her other brothers.

I have met the late Prince Philip when I was serving in the army in a few regimental meet-and-greet situations - which as you may know is pretty normal given that members of the royal family serve as honorary colonel-in-chiefs (patrons in effect) of all the British army regiments and corps.I also saw him at one or two social events such the annual charitable Royal Caledonian Ball (he’s an expert scottish reeler) and the Guards Polo Club where my older brothers played.

I’ll will freely confess that he was the one royal I could come close to identify with because his personal biography resonated with me a great deal.

Let’s be honest, the core Windsor family members, born to privilege, are conditioned and raised to be dull. Perhaps that’s a a tad harsh. I would prefer the term ‘anonymously self-effacing’, just another way of saying ‘for God’s sake don’t draw attention to yourself by saying or doing anything even mildly scandalous or political lest it invites public opprobrium and scrutiny’. The Queen magnificently succeeds in this but the others from Charles down just haven’t (with the exception of Princess Anne).

However, many people forget this obvious fact that it’s the incoming husbands and wives who marry into the Windsor family who are relied upon to bring colour and even liven things up a little. And long before Kate Middleton, Meghan Markle (very briefly), or Lady Diana Spencer, were the stars of ‘The Firm’- a phrase first coined by King George VI, Queen Elizabeth II's father who ruled from 1936 to 1952, who was thought to have wryly said, "British royals are 'not a family, we're a firm,” - it was Prince Philip who really livened things up and made the greater impact on the monarchy than any of them in the long term.

Prince Philip’s passing belied the truth of a far more complex individual: a destitute and penniless refugee Greek-Danish prince with a heart breaking backstory that could have been penned by any 19th Century novelist, and also eagle eyed reformer who tried to drag the royal family into the 20th century. At the core of the man - lost scion of a lost European royal dynasty, a courageous war veteran, and Queen’s consort - were values in which he attempted to transform and yet maintain much older inherited traditions and attitudes. Due to his great longevity, Philip’s life came to span a period of social change that is almost unprecedented, and almost no one in history viewed such a transformation from the front row.

Prince Philip would seem to represent in an acute form the best of the values of that era, which in many ways jar with today’s. He had fought with great courage in the war as a dashing young naval officer; he was regularly rude to foreigners, which was obviously a bonus to all Brits. He liked to ride and sail and shoot things. He was unsentimental almost to a comic degree, which felt reassuring at a time when a new-found emotional incontinence made many feel uncomfortable. Outrageous to some but endearing to others, he was the sort of man you’d want to go for a pint with, perhaps the ultimate compliment that an Englishman can pay to another Englishman. This has its own delicious irony as he wasn’t really an Englishman.

There are 4 takeways I would suggest in my appraisal of Prince Philip that stand out for me. So let me go through each one.

1. Prince Philip’s Internationalism

It may seem odd for me to say that Prince Philip wasn’t English but he wasn’t an Englishman in any real sense. He was a wretch of the world - stateless, homeless, and penniless. That the Prince of Nowhere became the British Monarchy’s figurehead was more than fitting for a great age of migration and transition in which the Royal Family survived and even flourished. That he was able to transform himself into the quintessential Englishman is testimony not just to his personal determination but also to the powerful cultural pull of Britishness.

He was born on a kitchen table in Corfu in June 1921. A year later in 1922, Philip, as the the great-great-grandson of Queen Victoria and nephew of Constantine I of Greece, was forced to flee with his family after the abdication of Constantine. He grew up outside Paris speaking French; ethnically he was mostly German although he considered himself Danish, his family originating from the Schleswig border region. He was in effect, despite his demeanour of Royal Navy officer briskness, a citizen of nowhere in an age of movement. From a very young age he was a stateless person, nationally homeless. Indeed, Philip was an outsider in a way that even Meghan Markle could never be; at his wedding in 1947, his three surviving sisters and two brothers-in-law were not permitted to attend because they were literally Britain’s enemies, having fought for the Germans. A third brother-in-law had even been in the SS, working directly for Himmler, but had been killed in the conflict.

Even his religion was slightly exotic. He was Greek Orthodox until he converted to Anglicanism on marrying Elizabeth - what with his wife due to become supreme head of the Church and everything - but his ties with eastern Christianity remained. His great-aunts Princess Elisabeth of Hesse and by Rhine and Tsarina Alexandra are both martyrs of the Russian Orthodox Church, having been murdered by the Bolsheviks; Philip’s mother went on to become an Orthodox nun and a “Righteous Among the Nations” for saving a Jewish family during the Nazi occupation of Greece, spending much of her time in squalid poverty.

His parents were part of the largely German extended aristocracy who ruled almost all of Europe before it all came crashing down in 1918. When he died, aged 99, it marked a near-century in which all the great ideological struggles had been and gone; he had been born before the Soviet Union but outlived the Cold War, the War on Terror and - almost - Covid-19.

The world that Philip was born into was a far more violent and dangerous place than ours. In the year he was born, Irish rebels were still fighting Black and Tans; over the course of 12 months the Spanish and Japanese prime ministers were assassinated, there was a coup in Portugal and race riots in the United States. Germany was rocked by violence from the far-Left and far-Right, while in Italy a brutal new political movement, the Fascists, secured 30 seats in parliament, led by a trashy journalist called Benito Mussolini.

The worst violence, however, took place in Greece and Turkey. Following the defeat of the Ottoman Empire, what remained of Turkey was marked for permanent enfeeblement by the Allies. But much to everyone’s surprise the country’s force were roused by the brilliant officer Mustafa Kemal, who led the Turks to victory. Constantinople was lost to Christendom for good and thousands of years of Hellenic culture was put to the flames in Smyrna.

The Greek royal family, north German imports shipped in during the 19th century, bore much of the popular anger for this disaster. King Constantine fled to Italy, and his brother Andrew was arrested and only escaped execution through the intervention of his relative Britain’s George V. Andrew’s wife Alice, their four daughters and infant son Philip fled to France, completely impoverished but with the one possession that ensures that aristocrats are never truly poor: connections.

Philip had a traumatic childhood. He was forged by the turmoil of his first decade and then moulded by his schooling. His early years were spent wandering, as his place of birth ejected him, his family disintegrated and he moved from country to country, none of them ever his own. When he was just a year old, he and his family were scooped up by a British destroyer from his home on the Greek island of Corfu after his father had been condemned to death. They were deposited in Italy. One of Philip's first international journeys was spent crawling around on the floor of the train from an Italian port city, "the grubby child on the desolate train pulling out of the Brindisi night," as his older sister Sophia later described it.

In Paris, he lived in a house borrowed from a relative; but it was not destined to become a home. In just one year, while he was at boarding school in Britain, the mental health of his mother, Princess Alice, deteriorated and she went into an asylum; his father, Prince Andrew, went off to Monte Carlo to live with his mistress. "I don't think anybody thinks I had a father," he once said. Andrew would die during the war. Philip went to Monte Carlo to pick up his father's possessions after the Germans had been driven from France; there was almost nothing left, just a couple of clothes brushes and some cuff-links.

Philip’s four sisters were all much older, and were soon all married to German aristocrats (the youngest would soon die in an aeroplane crash, along with her husband and children). His sisters became ever more embroiled in the German regime. In Scotland going to Gordonstoun boarding school, Philip went the opposite direction, becoming ever more British. Following the death of his sister Cecilie in a plane crash in 1937, the gulf widened. As the clouds of conflict gathered, the family simply disintegrated. With a flash of the flinty stoicism that many would later interpret, with no little justification, as self-reliance to the point of dispassion, the prince explained: “It’s simply what happened. The family broke up… I just had to get on with it. You do. One does.”

In the space of 10 years he had gone from a prince of Greece to a wandering, homeless, and virtually penniless boy with no-one to care for him. He got through it by making a joke of everything, and by being practical.

By the time he went to Gordonstoun, a private boarding school on the north coast of Scotland, Philip was tough, independent and able to fend for himself; he'd had to be. Gordonstoun would channel those traits into the school's distinct philosophy of community service, teamwork, responsibility and respect for the individual. And it sparked one of the great passions of Philip's life - his love of the sea. It was Gordonstoun that nurtured that love through the maturation of his character.

Philip adored the school as much as his son Charles would despise it. Not just because the stress it put on physical as well as mental excellence - he was a great sportsman. But because of its ethos, laid down by its founder Kurt Hahn, a Jewish exile from Nazi Germany.

Hahn first met Philip as a boy in Nazi Germany. Through a connection via one of his sister’s husbands, Philip, the poor, lonely boy was first sent off to a new school - in Nazi Germany. Which was as fun as can be imagined. Schloss Salem had been co-founded by stern educator called Kurt Hahn, a tough, discipline-obsessed conservative nationalist who saw civilisation in inexorable decline. But by this stage Hahn, persecuted for being Jewish in Nazi Germany, had fled to Britain, and Philip did not spend long at the school either, where pressure from the authorities was already making things difficult for the teachers. Philip laughed at the Nazis at first, because their salute was the same gesture the boys at his previous school had to make when they wanted to go to the toilet, but within a year he was back in England, a refugee once again.

Philip happily attended Hahn’s new school, Gordonstoun, which the strict disciplinarian had set up in the Scottish Highlands. Inspired by Ancient Sparta, the boys (and then later girls) had to run around barefoot and endure cold showers, even in winter, the whole aim of which was to drive away the inevitable civilisational decay Hahn saw all around him. To 21st century ears it sounds like hell on earth, yet Philip enjoyed it, illustrating just what a totally alien world he came from.

That ethos became a significant, perhaps the significant, part of the way that Philip believed life should be lived. It shines through the speeches he gave later in his life. "The essence of freedom," he would say in Ghana in 1958, "is discipline and self-control." The comforts of the post-war era, he told the British Schools Exploring Society a year earlier, may be important "but it is much more important that the human spirit should not be stifled by easy living". And two years before that, he spoke to the boys of Ipswich School of the moral as well as material imperatives of life, with the "importance of the individual" as the "guiding principle of our society".

It was at Gordonstoun one of the great contradictions of Philip's fascinating life was born. The importance of the individual was what in Kurt Hahn's eyes differentiated Britain and liberal democracies from the kind of totalitarian dictatorship that he had fled. Philip put that centrality of the individual, and individual agency - the ability we have as humans to make our own moral and ethical decisions - at the heart of his philosophy.

At Dartmouth Naval College in 1939, the two great passions of his life would collide. He had learned to sail at Gordonstoun; he would learn to lead at Dartmouth. And his driving desire to achieve, and to win, would shine through. Despite entering the college far later than most other cadets, he would graduate top of his class in 1940. In further training at Portsmouth, he gained the top grade in four out of five sections of the exam. He became one of the youngest first lieutenants in the Royal Navy.

The navy ran deep in his family. His maternal grandfather had been the First Sea Lord, the commander of the Royal Navy; his uncle, "Dickie" Mountbatten, had command of a destroyer while Philip was in training. In war, he showed not only bravery but guile. It was his natural milieu. "Prince Philip", wrote Gordonstoun headmaster Kurt Hahn admiringly, "will make his mark in any profession where he will have to prove himself in a trial of strength".

2. Prince Philip and the modernisation of the monarchy

In his own words, the process of defining what it meant to be a royal consort was one of “trial and error.” Speaking with BBC One’s Fiona Bruce in 2011, Philip explained, “There was no precedent. If I asked somebody, 'What do you expect me to do?' they all looked blank. They had no bloody idea, nobody had much idea.” So he forged for himself a role as a moderniser of the monarchy.

He could not have had much idea back in 1939. Back then in Dartmouth in 1939, as war became ever more certain, the navy was his destiny. He had fallen in love with the sea itself. "It is an extraordinary master or mistress," he would say later, "it has such extraordinary moods." But a rival to the sea would come.

When King George VI toured Dartmouth Naval College, accompanied by Philip's uncle, he brought with him his daughter, Princess Elizabeth. Philip was asked to look after her. He showed off to her, vaulting the nets of the tennis court in the grounds of the college. He was confident, outgoing, strikingly handsome, of royal blood if without a throne. She was beautiful, a little sheltered, a little serious, and very smitten by Philip.

Did he know then that this was a collision of two great passions? That he could not have the sea and the beautiful young woman? For a time after their wedding in 1948, he did have both. As young newlyweds in Malta, he had what he so prized - command of a ship - and they had two idyllic years together. But the illness and then early death of King George VI brought it all to an end.

He knew what it meant, the moment he was told. Up in a lodge in Kenya, touring Africa, with Princess Elizabeth in place of the King, Philip was told first of the monarch's death in February 1952. He looked, said his equerry Mike Parker, "as if a ton of bricks had fallen on him". For some time he sat, slumped in a chair, a newspaper covering his head and chest. His princess had become the Queen. His world had changed irrevocably.

While the late Princess Diana was later to famously claim that there were “three people” in her marriage - herself, Prince Charles and Camilla - there were at least 55 million in Philip and Elizabeth’s. As Elizabeth dedicated her life to her people at Westminster Abbey at the Coronation on June 2, 1953, it sparked something of an existential crisis in Philip. Many people even after his death have never really understood this pivotal moment in Philip’s life. All his dreams of being a naval officer and a life at sea as well as being the primary provider and partner in his marriage were now sacrificed on the altar of duty and love.

With his career was now over, and he was now destined to become the spare part. Philip, very reasonably, asked that his future children and indeed his family be known by his name, Mountbatten. In effect he was asking to change the royal family’s name from the House of Windsor to the House of Mountbatten. But when Prime Minister Winston Churchill got wind of it as well as the more politically agile courtiers behind the Queen, a prolonged battle of wits ensued, and it was one Philip ultimately lost. It was only in 1957 that he accepted the title of “Prince.”

Even though he had almost lost everything dear to him and his role now undefined, he didn’t throw himself a pity party. He just got on with it. Philip tried to forge his own distinct role as second fiddle to the woman who had come to represent Great Britain. He designated himself the First Officer of the Good Ship Windsor. He set about dusting off some of the cobwebs off the throne and letting some daylight unto the workings of the monarchy by advocating reasonable amount of modernisation of the monarchy.

He had ideas about modernising the royal family that might be called “improving optics” today. But in his heart of hearts he didn’t want the monarchy to become a stuffy museum piece. He envisaged a less stuffy and more popular monarchy, relevant to the lives of ordinary people. Progress was always going to be incremental as he had sturdy opposition from the old guard who wanted to keep everything as it was, but nevertheless his stubborn energy resulted in significant changes.

When a commission chaired by Prince Philip proposed broadcasting the 1953 investiture ceremony that formally named Elizabeth II as queen on live television, Prime Minister Winston Churchill reacted with outright horror, declaring, “It would be unfitting that the whole ceremony should be presented as if it were a theatrical performance.” Though the queen had initially voiced similar concerns, she eventually came around to the idea, allowing the broadcast of all but one segment of the coronation. Ultimately, according to the BBC, more than 20 million people tuned in to the televised ceremony - a credit to the foresight of Philip.

Elizabeth’s coronation marked a watershed moment for a monarchy that has, historically, been very hands off, old-fashioned and slightly invisible. Over the following years, the royals continued to embrace television as a way of connecting with the British people: In 1957, the queen delivered her annual Christmas address during a live broadcast. Again, this was Philip’s doing when he cajoled the Queen to televise her message live. He even helped her in how to use the teleprompter to get over her nerves and be herself on screen.

Four years later, in 1961, Philip became the first family member to sit for a television interview. It is hard for us to imagine now but back then it was huge. For many it was a significant step in modernising the monarchy.

Though not everything went to plan. Toward the end of the decade, the Windsors even invited cameras into their home. A 1969 BBC fly-on-the-wall documentary, instigated by Philip to show life behind the scenes, turned into an unmitigated disaster: “The Windsors” revealed the royals to be a fairly normal, if very rich, British upper-class family who liked barbecues, ice cream, watching television and bickering. The mystery of royalty took a hit below the waterline from their own torpedo, a self-inflicted wound from which they took a long time to recover. Shown once, the documentary was never aired again. But it had an irreversible effect, and not just by revealing the royals to be ordinary. By allowing the cameras in, Philip opened the lid to the prying eyes of the paparazzi who could legitimately argue that since the Royals themselves had sanctioned exposure, anything went. From then on, minor members of the House of Windsor were picked off by the press, like helpless tethered animals on a hunting safari.

Prince Philip also took steps to reorganise and renovate the royal estates in Sandringham and Balmoral such as intercoms, modern dish washers, generally sought to make the royal household and the monarchy less stuffy, not to have so much formality everywhere.

Philip helped modernised the monarchy in other ways to acknowledge that the monarchy could be responsive to changes in society. It was Prince Philip - much to the chagrin of the haughty Princess Margaret and other stuffy old courtiers - who persuaded the Queen to host informal lunches and garden parties designed to engage a broader swath of the British public. Conversely, Prince Philip heartily encouraged the Queen (she was all for it apparently but was still finding her feet as a new monarch) to end the traditional practice of presenting debutantes from aristocratic backgrounds at court in 1952. For Philip and others it felt antiquated and out of touch with society. I know in speaking to my grandmother and others in her generation the decision was received with disbelief at how this foreign penniless upstart could come and stomp on the dreams of mothers left to clutch their pearls at the prospect there would be no shop window for their daughter to attract a suitable gentleman for marriage. One of my great aunts was over the moon happy that she never would have to go through what she saw as a very silly ceremony because she preferred her muddy wellies to high heels.

A former senior member of the royal household, who spent several years working as one of Prince Philip’s aides, and an old family friend, once told us around a family dinner table that the Duke of Edinburgh was undoubtedly given a sense of permanence by his marriage into the Royal Family that was missing from earlier years. But the royal aide would hastily add that Prince Philip, of course, would never see it that way.

Prince Philip’s attitude was to never brood on things or seek excuses. And he did indeed get on with the job in his own way - there should be no doubt that when it came to building and strengthening the Royal Family it was a partnership of equals with the Queen. Indeed contrary to Netflix’s hugely popular series ‘The Crown’ and its depiction of the royal marriage with Philip’s resentment at playing second fiddle, the prince recognised that his “first duty was to serve the Queen in the best way I could,” as he told ITV in 2011. Though this role was somewhat ill-suited to his dynamic, driven, and outspoken temperament, Philip performed it with utter devotion.

3. Prince Philip’s legacy

One could argue rightly that modernising the monarchy was his lasting legacy achievement. But he also tried to modernise a spent and exhausted Britain as it emerged from a ruinous war. When peace came, and with it eventual economic recovery, Philip would throw himself into the construction of a better Britain, urging the country to adopt scientific methods, embracing the ideas of industrial design, planning, education and training. A decade before Harold Wilson talked of the "white heat of the technological revolution", Philip was urging modernity on the nation in speeches and interviews. He was on top of his reading of the latest scientific breakthroughs and well read in break out innovations.

This interest in modernisation was only matched by his love for nature. As the country and the world became richer and consumed ever more, Philip warned of the impact on the environment, well before it was even vaguely fashionable. As president of the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) in the UK for more than 20 years from 1961, he was one of the first high-profile advocates of the cause of conservation and biological diversity at a time when it was considered the preserve of an eccentric few.

For a generation of school children in Britain and the Commonwealth though, his most lasting legacy and achievement will be the Duke of Edinburgh Awards (DofE). He set up the Duke of Edinburgh award, a scheme aimed at getting young people out into nature in search of adventure or be of service to their communities. It was a scheme that could match the legacy of Baden Powell’s scouts movement.

When Prince Philip first outlined his idea of a scheme to harness the values of his education at Gordonstoun by bringing character-building outdoor pursuits to the many rather than the fee-paying few, he received short shrift from the government of the day. The then minister of education, Sir David Eccles responded to the Duke’s proposal by saying: “I hear you’re trying to invent something like the Hitler Youth.” Undeterred he pushed on until it came to fruition.

I’m so glad that he did. I remember how proud I was for getting my DofE Awards while I was at boarding school. With the support of great mentors I managed to achieve my goals: collecting second-hand English books for a literacy programme for orphaned street children in Delhi, India with a close Indian school friend and her family; and completing a 350 mile hike following St. Olav’s Pilgrimmage Trail from Selånger, on the east coast of Sweden, and ending at Nidaros Cathedral in Trondheim, on the west coast of Norway.

It continues to be an enduring legacy. Since its launch in 1956, the Duke of Edinburgh awards have been bestowed upon some 2.5 million youngsters in Britain and some eight million worldwide. For a man who once referred to himself as a “Greek princeling of no consequence”, his pioneering tutelage of these two organisations (alongside some 778 other organisations of which he was either president or a patron) would be sufficient legacy for most.

4. Prince Philip’s character

It may surprise some but what I liked most about Prince Philip was the very thing that helped him achieve so much and leave a lasting legacy: his character.

It is unhelpful to the caricature of Prince Philip as an unwavering but pugnacious consort whose chief talent was a dizzying facility in off-colour one-liners that he was widely read and probably the cleverest member of his family.

His private library at Windsor consists of 11,000 tomes, among them 200 volumes of poetry. He was a fan of Jung, TS Eliot, Shakespeare and the cookery writer Elizabeth David. As well as a lifelong fascination with science, technology and sport, he spoke fairly fluent French, painted and wrote a well received book on birds. It’s maddening to think how many underestimated his genuine intellect and how cultured he was behind the crusty exterior.

He didn’t have an entourage to fawn around him. He was the first to own a computer at Buckingham Palace. He answered his own phone and wrote and responded to his own correspondence. By force of character he fought the old guard courtiers at every turn to modernise the monarchy against their stubborn resistance.

Prince Philip was never given to self-analysis or reflection on the past. Various television interviewers tried without success to coerce him in to commenting on his legacy.But once when his guard was down he asked on the occasion of his 90th birthday what he was more proud of, he replied with characteristic bluntness: “I couldn’t care less. Who cares what I think about it, I mean it’s ridiculous.”

All of which neatly raises the profound aversion to fuss and the proclivity for tetchiness often expressed in withering put-downs that, for better or worse, will be the reflex memory for many of the Duke of Edinburgh. If character is a two edged sword so what of his gaffes?

There is no doubt his cult status partly owed to his so-called legendary gaffes, of which there are enough to fill a book (indeed there is a book). But he was no racist. None of the Commonwealth people or foreign heads of state ever said this about him. Only leftist republicans with too much Twitter time on their hands screamed such a ridiculous accusation. They’re just overly sensitive snowflakes and being devoid of any humour they’re easily triggered.

There was the time that Philip accepted a gift from a local in Kenya, telling her she was a kind woman, and then adding: “You are a woman, aren’t you?” Or the occasion he remarked “You managed not to get eaten, then?” to a student trekking in Papua New Guinea. Then there was his World Wildlife Fund speech in 1986, when he said: “If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.” Well, he wasn’t wrong.

Philip quickly developed a reputation for what he once defined, to the General Dental Council, as “dentopedology – the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it”. Clearly he could laugh at himself as he often did as an ice breaker to put others at ease.

His remarking to the president of Nigeria, who was wearing national dress, “You look like you’re ready for bed”, or advising British students in China not to stay too long or they would end up with “slitty eyes”, is probably best written off as ill-judged humour. Telling a photographer to “just take the fucking picture” or declaring “this thing open, whatever it is”, were expressions of exasperation or weariness with which anyone might sympathise.

Above all, he was also capable of genuine if earthy wit, saying of his horse-loving daughter Princess Anne: “If it doesn’t fart or eat hay she isn’t interested.” Many people might have thought it but few dared say it. If Prince Philip’s famous gaffes provoked as much amusement as anger, it was precisely because they seem to give voice to the bewilderment and pent-up frustrations with which many people viewed the ever-changing modern world.

A former royal protection officer recounts how while on night duty guarding a visiting Queen and consort, he engaged in conversation with colleagues on a passing patrol. It was 2am and the officer had understood the royal couple to be staying elsewhere in the building until a window above his head was abruptly slammed open and an irate Prince Philip stuck his head out of the window to shout: “Would you fuck off!” Without another word, he then shut the window.

The Duke at least recognised from an early age that he was possessed of an abruptness that could all too easily cross the line from the refreshingly salty to crass effrontery.

One of his most perceptive biographers, Philip Eade, recounted how at the age of 21 the prince wrote a letter to a relation whose son had recently been killed in combat. He wrote: “I know you will never think much of me. I am rude and unmannerly and I say things out of turn which I realise afterwards must have hurt someone. Then I am filled with remorse and I try to put matters right.”

In the case of the royal protection officer, the Duke turned up in the room used by the police officers when off duty and said: “Terribly sorry about last night, wasn’t quite feeling myself.”

Aides have also ventured to explain away some of their employer’s more outlandish remarks - from asking Cayman islanders “You are descended from pirates aren’t you?” to enquiring of a female fashion writer if she was wearing mink knickers - as the price of his instinctive desire to prick the pomposity of his presence with a quip to put others at ease.

Indeed many people forget that his ‘gaffes’ were more typical of the clubbish humour of the British officer class – which of course would be less appreciated, sometimes even offensive, to other ears. It’s why he could relate so well to veterans who enjoyed his bonhomie company immensely.

But behind the irascibility, some have argued there also lay a darker nature, unpleasantly distilled in his flinty attitude to his eldest son. One anecdote tells of how, in the aftermath of the murder of the Duke’s uncle and surrogate father, Lord Mountbatten, Philip lectured his son, who was also extremely fond of his “honorary grandfather”, that he was not to succumb to self-pity. Charles left the room in tears and when his father was asked why he had spoken to his son with so little compassion, the Duke replied: “Because if there’s any crying to be done I want it to happen within this house, in front of his family, not in public. He must be toughened up, right now.”

But here I would say that Prince Philip’s intentions were almost always sincere and in no way cruel. He has always tried to protect his family - even from their own worst selves or from those outside the family ‘firm’ who may not have their best interest at heart.

In 1937, a 16-year-old Prince Philip had walked behind his elder sister Cecile’s coffin after she was killed in a plane crash while heavily pregnant. The remains of newly-born infant found in the wreckage suggested the aircraft had perished as the pilot sought to make an emergency landing in fog as the mother entered childbirth. It was an excruciating taste of tragedy which would one day manifest itself in a very princely form of kindness that was deep down that defined Philip’s character.

When about 60 years later Prime Minister Tony Blair’s spin doctors in Downing Street tried to strong arm the Queen and the royal household over the the arrangements for the late Prince Diana’s funeral, it was Philip who stepped in front to protect his family. The Prime Minister and his media savvy spin doctors wanted the two young princes, William and Harry, to walk behind the coffin.

The infamous exchange was on the phone during a conference call between London and Balmoral, and the emotional Philip was reportedly backed by the Queen. The call was witnessed by Anji Hunter, who worked for Mr Blair. She said how surprised she was to hear Prince Philip’s emotion. ‘It’s about the boys,” he cried, “They’ve lost their mother”. Hunter thought to herself, “My God, there’s a bit of suffering going on up there”.’

Sky TV political commentator Adam Boulton (Anji Hunter’s husband) would write in his book Tony’s Ten Years: ‘The Queen relished the moment when Philip bellowed over the speakerphone from Balmoral, “Fuck off. We are talking about two boys who have just lost their mother”. Boulton goes on to say that Philip: ‘…was trying to remind everyone that human feelings were involved. No 10 were trying to help the Royals present things in the best way, but may have seemed insensitive.’

In the end the politicians almost didn’t get their way. Prince Philip stepped in to counsel his grandson, Prince William, after he had expressed a reluctance to follow his mother’s coffin after her death in Paris. Philip told the grieving child: “If you don’t walk, I think you’ll regret it later. If I walk, will you walk with me?”

It’s no wonder he was sought as a counsellor by other senior royals and especially close to his grandchildren, for whom he was a firm favourite. His relationship with Harry was said to have become strained, however, following the younger Prince’s decision to reject his royal inheritance for a life away from the public eye in America with his new American wife, Meghan Markle. For Prince Philip I am quite sure it went against all the elder Prince had lived his life by - self-sacrifice for the greater cause of royalty.

This is the key to Philip’s character and in understanding the man. The ingrained habits of a lifetime of duty and service in one form or another were never far away.

In conclusion then....

After more time passes I am sure historians will make a richer reassessment of Prince Philip’s life and legacy. Because Prince Philip was an extraordinary man who lived an extraordinary life; a life intimately connected with the sweeping changes of our turbulent 20th Century, a life of fascinating contrast and contradiction, of service and some degree of solitude. A complex, clever, eternally restless man that not even the suffocating protocols of royalty and tradition could bind him.

Although he fully accepted the limitations of public royal service, he did not see this as any reason for passive self-abnegation, but actively, if ironically, identified with his potentially undignified role. It is this bold and humorous embrace of fated restriction which many now find irksome: one is no longer supposed to mix public performance with private self-expression in quite this manner.

Yet such a mix is authentically Socratic: the proof that the doing of one’s duty can also be the way of self-fulfilment. The Duke’s sacrifice of career to romance and ceremonial office is all the more impressive for his not hiding some annoyance. The combination of his restless temperament and his deeply felt devotion to duty found fruitful expression; for instance, in the work of Saint George’s House Windsor - a centre and retreat that he created with Revd. Robin Woods - in exploring religious faith, philosophy, and contemporary issues.

Above all he developed a way to be male that was both traditional and modern. He served one woman with chivalric devotion as his main task in life while fulfilling his public engagements in a bold and active spirit. He eventually embraced the opportunity to read and contemplate more. And yet, he remained loyal to the imperatives of his mentor Kurt Hahn in seeking to combine imagination with action and religious devotion with practical involvement.

Prince Philip took more pride in the roles he had accidentally inherited than in the personal gifts which he was never able fully to develop. He put companionship before self-realisation and acceptance of a sacred symbolic destiny before the mere influencing of events. In all these respects he implicitly rebuked our prevailing meritocracy which over-values officially accredited attainment, and our prevailing narcissism which valorises the assertion of discrete identities.

Prince Philip was Britain’s longest-serving consort. He was steadfast, duty driven, and a necessary adjunct to the continuity and stability of the Queen and the monarchy. Of all the institutions that have lost the faith of the British public in this period - the Church, Parliament, the media, the police - the Monarchy itself has surprisingly done better than most at surviving, curiously well-adapted to a period of societal change and moral anarchy. The House of Hanover and later Saxe-Coburg and Gotha (changed to Windsor), since their arrival in this country in 1714, have been noted above all for their ability to adapt. And just as they survived the Victorian age by transforming themselves into the bourgeoise, domestic ideal, so they have survived the new Elizabethan era (Harry-Meghan saga is just a passing blip like the Edward-Wallis Simpson saga of the 1930s).

There was once a time when the Royal’s German blood was a punchline for crude and xenophobic satirists. Now it is the royals who are deeply British while the country itself is increasingly cosmopolitan and globalised. British society has seen a greater demographic change than the preceding four or five thousand years combined, the second Elizabethan age has been characterised more than anything by a transformational movement of people. Prince Philip, the Greek-born, Danish-German persecuted and destitute wanderer who came to become one of the Greatest Britons of the past century, perhaps epitomised that era better than anyone else. And he got through it by making a joke of everything, and by being practical.

I hope I don’t exaggerate when I say that in our troubled times over identity, and our place and purpose in the world, we need to heed his selfless example more than ever.

As Heraclitus wisely said, Ήθος ανθρώπω δαίμων (Character is destiny.)

RIP Prince Philip. You were my prince. God damn you, I miss you already.

Thanks for your question.

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