#I made all this ridiculous shit up but now that I read it I'm kinda proud of it

[sstardustt3]

Johnny cade headcannonsss

Authors notes- um so my writers block is gone (yipeee) and I decided that from now on this is just going to be a general writing account instead of something focused exclusively on one fandom (I'm still gonna do creepypasta stuff dw) but I didn't realize how much writing for one singular thing burns the fuck out of you so I'm doing this because it's much more easier and I'm gonna upload more because I'm on summer break. Anyways I'm on an outsiders kick rn so this is the result of it

tags/ warnings- mentions of abuse, johnny being a gossip whore, angst, fluff, johnny thinking negatively about himself, brief mention of romance, someone please give him a hug-

-Johnny is really fucking strong despite looking kinda scrawny but he believes no one when they tell him this (he thinks they're just trying to make him more confidant)

-If he did have a s/o then nine times out of then they've asked him to carry them everywhere

-he hates physical contact he can't stand it especially if he's not ready for it like if you hug him from behind. mostly because everytime someone touches him it's to hurt him but also another is because he just hates being surprised

-his body is so unbelievably cold all the time that even if there was a heat wave in the area at like 120*f he would still feel like he's on the brink of dying from hypothermia

-something he picked up from Dally is being rude to people for like no reason he doesn't even do it intentionally he just kinda says the most outlandish rude shit about people and does not even realize it

-adding onto things he's picked up from hanging with dally is how to talk to girls, contrary to popular belief he's actually not (completely) clueless with girls and he can sweet talk if he really wants to (he starts off stumbling like an idiot though)

-he's failling a good percentage of his classes for half the year because he figured that he wasn't gonna go far in life even if he didn't end up dead by 18 and his parents don't care about him enough to check his report cards

-at the end of the year the week before you can't do any more retakes and turn in late work he'll just do everything in one go because he doesn't really wanna be held back (he ends up passing with b's and c's)

-he's actually really good at making shit he has a drawer full of small little trinkets he's made in his spare time

-he learned how to make things to pass the time because before the gang he really didn't have friends and he didn't have a good excuse to go out anyway so he just locked himself in his room and began making things out of paper and rearranging action figures he stole from the junkyard or from second-hand stores

-more than half of his creations look like the shit Sid from toy story made

-he's so oblivous when people like him it's ridiculous and when he does realize they like him he just kinda is like "oh...oh...OH?!!!"

-even when he does like them back his first instance is to distance himself from them he thinks it's something that'll like pass

-he's dyslexic which is why he always makes Ponyboy do his English homework and read his homework to him in general

-adding onto the headcanon about him being cold all the time, for that very reason you'll never catch him out of him dead out of his jacket (well I guess that's not true bc he died without it but wtv)

-another reason is that he has a lot of scarring and bruises from his parents that he hates seeing

-dally was the first person to meet Johnny and he was kinda like "damn look at that little possum...it's coming home with me" and when he asked Johnny his name he had mumbled it so when he said it it sounded like Johnny cakes so for like half a year dally called him that before randomly correcting him

"yeah, so johnny cakes here-"

"Johnny Cade."

"huh? What you say, little man?"

"My name's Johnny Cade, not Johnny Cakes."

"..."

"..."

"are you serious-"

-Johnny's a gossip whore whether he admits it or not. the perks of being quiet and going unnoticed is that people will say there business loud and proud in front of you because they have forgotten you were even there.

-he will without a doubt tell Ponyboy after.

-and since Ponyboy has little to no understanding of the meaning of keeping things to himself he will in fact tell the rest of the gang

*requests for hcs/ or fics are always welcome*

[kteezy997]

Friends to Lovers//t.c.

Information: reader with a mid-sized body type

Warnings: some angst, little fluff- I guess, smut, fingering, female receiving oral sex-kinda, nipple play, creampie

It’s kind of a long read, get a drink and a snack, if you wish🩷

One evening, your friends were trying to tell you that Timmy was in love with you. But there simply was no way it was true! Number one, you were friends. Number two, you were nowhere near his type. You had a mid-size body, and Timmy was used to dating, and screwing, women with thin, perfect bodies. You knew that he would never see you in a romantic or sexual light. You had grown to accept it and be okay with it.

Deep down, you had always had feelings for him, but you kept them buried for so long that you often forgot they were even there. You always laughed and had a lot of fun with Timmy. He was such a great person, and you were glad to have him in your life, even if it was just as a friend. Even if it could never be anything more.

You always heard the saying, “if he wanted to, he would.” And Timothée never made a move outside of your friendship, so you knew he wasn’t interested in you as anything but.

"Timmy is not in love with me!" you insisted to your two friends that were in your apartment, arguing otherwise with you.

"But he is! So in love." Sophie claimed.

Olivia chimed in as well, "He loves everything about you: your body, your voice, your hair, he already knows your amazing personality. That's how he fell in love with you, by being friends first."

"Now he's hopelessly in love.” Sophie said, "Everyone of our friends knows, and you're the only one that's blind to it."

“Yeah, he wants to kiss you; he wants to touch your private parts, y/n.” Olivia said.

You had to laugh.

“You can’t deprive the man any longer.” Olivia pointed out, crossing her arms defiantly.

“It’s so obvious! We can’t take it anymore.” blurted Sophie.

You scoffed at their false claims, "Okay, this is just ridiculous, I'm going to have to prove you both wrong." You marched across your apartment, putting some shoes on and grabbing your purse.

"Wait, what are you doing?!" Olivia asked.

"I'm going over to his apartment and he's going to deny all of this, because he does not see me like that! You two are full of shit!”

...........

You knocked on Timmy's door.

"Hey, hold on!" you heard him call from the inside.

"Timmy, I have to talk to you!" you said to him from the other side of the door.

The door opened, Timmy stood there, shirtless, and said, "Y/n? Are you okay?" there was genuine worry in his voice.

You looked ahead into his apartment, behind him several feet away there was a blonde woman getting dressed. Oh shit!

"Oh, you're...not alone. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have just barged in." you said, turning away to leave.

"Hey, whoa, whoa," he followed you, touching your arm to stop you, "you're not barging in, what's up?" He narrowed his eyes at you.

"Nothing, it was stupid anyways. Let's just forget about it." you said, waving your hand, embarrassed, brushing the reasoning away. "I'll see you later, Timmy. Sorry again, for intruding on your evening." You left without letting him say anything else.

You'd been lying to yourself if you said that you were glad that he wasn't interested in you. A tiny part of you had hope that he would want to be with you. You hoped what your friends were talking about was true.

The feelings you buried had been unearthed, just for a moment. But now, it was time to cover them up again, and go on like nothing had been said. It was for the best.

…….

There was a knock on your door about an hour after you had gotten home. It was getting late, so you were surprised someone had even knocked.

Timmy was on the other side of the door, to your surprise. "Hey, can we talk?" he asked, nervously. He looked cute, messy curls spilling out under his baseball cap, wearing a big sweatshirt and his hands in the pocket.

"I mean, yeah Timmy, but you didn't have to cancel your date. You didn’t have to come here. I'm fine, it's no big deal."

"No, no. Tell me, why did you need to talk to me earlier? I think I might have an idea why but tell me." he pursued, letting himself into your apartment.

"You might have an idea? What does that mean?" you frowned, following him, expecting him to raid your pantry for a snack like he always did when he came over. You did your best to keep his favorites on hand.

"Stop stalling, y/n, and tell me." he leaned against your kitchen counter.

Okay, no food, no distraction. "Okay, okay,” you said, ready to get this silly situation over with, “Sophie and Olivia were trying to tell me that you are in love with me, and I got sick of it because there's just no way! So I went to your place to hear the truth from you, but turns out that you didn't even need to say anything because you were with some woman-"

"They were right." he said bluntly.

"See? It's just so weird that they would say-wait, what?" your heart started to pound. You could not believe what you heard. You looked at him in shock, waiting for him to say something else. Maybe you just misheard him?

"They are right, y/n." Timmy took a step toward you, he reached out and took your hand.

His hand was warm to the touch, so comforting.

"I love you. I always have. I just never say anything because I didn't think you'd feel the same way, and I didn't want to lose you as my friend.”

Okay, you had heard him right. But was he absolutely serious?

"Timmy, is that true? You're not playing with me?"

"No," he frowned at you, shaking his head, "I would never lie about this. Look, if you don't feel the same way towards me, it's okay. We can just go back to being friends like nothing happ-"

You cut him off with a kiss: something you never thought you'd do. You put your hand on the back of his head, and stood on your tiptoes, as he was quite a bit taller than you.

The bill of his hat got in the way, hitting you on top of the head. You both laughed and he took the hat off tossing it onto the counter.

Timmy then pulled you close to him, his hands resting on your lower back. He kissed you firmly, moaning into it. He opened his mouth, teasing your tongue with his, inviting you in.

You let his tongue swirl yours lovingly. You let out a little moan when he took your face in his hands, pulled away from your lips and kissed your cheek, then the other, and followed with a kiss on your forehead.

He looked into your eyes, smiling sweetly.

You giggled with glee. Your adrenaline had subsided, and your heart swelled. You couldn't think of any words to say, he had taken away your ability to think at the moment. "Timmy I-"

"No, no we don't have to talk right now." he whispered, touching your lips, his voice hoarse from the kiss.

........

Timmy had picked you up and carried you to your bedroom. He tossed you onto the bed, making you giggle. He had a smirk on his face as he removed his baggy sweatshirt. He watched you as you started to undress as well.

You weren't afraid to be bold and take your top and pants off. You were glad you had picked a cute, matching bra and pantie set.

He looked like he was in awe, which was a big boost to your confidence. He took his pants off quickly and kneeled in front of you.

You were sitting on the edge of the bed, and Timmy placed his hands on your thighs. You shivered as he pressed kisses there. His wet lips, the stubble on his chin, his long fingers kneading your fleshy thighs, it was delightful. You threw your hands into his hair. You had secretly wanted to play with Timmy's hair since you had known him. Now, you could do whatever you wanted.

And so could he. Timmy pushed your legs apart. He noticed the little wet patch on the crotch of your panties. He looked up at you for a second before dipping down between your legs and licking that wet spot.

You whimpered at the feeling, so invasive, so intimate, but you were still concealed to him. It was so hot, seeing his messy curls between your legs.

Timmy hooked his fingers into the sides of your underwear, and as he pulled them down, you laid back. His locked into your gaze, and your legs were brought upward, your feet landing softly on his chest. He shook his head, running his fingers threw his tousled mane. He grabbed your ankles, and he left a trail of kisses up your leg, moving downward with each one until he hovered just above you.

"I can't believe you haven't known until now." Timmy remarked. Little ringlets fell downward as he looked at you from above.

"I didn't... think I'd be your type." you admitted.

He chuckled, "Y/n, you're so beautiful to me, I've always told you that." he tucked your hair behind your ear.

"Well yeah, but I thought you were just being a sweet friend. I didn't know that you'd actually be attracted to me. I mean, I'm not for everybody." you shrugged. You weren’t insecure, necessarily, but you knew that some people would not deem your body type as beautiful or particularly appealing.

"I think you are sorely mistaken. I've heard so many guys thirst over you." he shook his head and blushed, "Me included."

"You want me? Timmy, you really want me?" you implored. You just wanted him to say it.

"Yes, I want you, I need you. Fuck." he kissed you hard, throwing his hands in your hair, grabbing your head. One hand tucked around your throat. He softly rocked his crotch into you.

You felt his hard cock against your thighs. You had to touch it. You reached down and palmed him through his boxers, moaning as his length filled up your hand. "Ugh, I want you to fuck me."

Timmy held your jaw, "Oh, you want me to fuck you?"

You nodded against his hand. You squeezed his cock gently.

"Mmm," he groaned in response, "You wet for me, baby?" he dipped his finger into your folds sliding them over your clit.

"Ah! Fuck." you clenched your eyes shut.

"I'll take that as a yes." he said just before he inserted a finger into you. He started pumping slowly. But gradually quickened his pace, and introduced another finger.

You arched your back, and grabbed his wrist as he fucked you with his fingers. "Timothee." you breathed out his name.

He removed his fingers but kept them on your clit, softly rubbing circles there and he leaned down to capture your lips in a kiss. He pulled away, instructing, "Take your bra off."

You quickly reached behind you, unhooked your bra, and tossed it away.

Timmy's eyes went to your tits instantly. One hand stayed on your pussy and the other went to your breast. He licked his lips, then put them on your hard nipple. He ran his tongue around it and sucked it into his mouth, moaning on your tit. He bit down, pinching the sensitive bud.

You whimpered as his attack on your nipple sent throbbing sensations to your pussy. You were eager for more, you licked your hand, and put it around his cock. You stroked him as he continued to suck your nipples all while giving your clit attention.

He slid a finger in again, hitting your g-spot. You rutted your hips forward onto his fingers. You tried to stroke his cock, but you couldn't keep a steady rhythm. You felt the tension building inside of you.

"Don't stop. I'm close, Timmy, please don't stop!" you cried. The stimulation was too much.

Timmy flicked his fingers inside of you faster and used his other hand to pinch your nipple.

You thought you might burst, "Fuck!" You shook a little and your legs clasped onto his arm that was between them. You shifted onto your side, panting heavily.

Timmy rolled you back over, so he could get between your thighs. He tucked your legs over his hips and slid his cock into you.

Your toes curled as he entered you fully. You gripped your sheets.

He found a rhythm and fucked you hard. His waistline bucked against your wetness, leaving smacking sounds throughout the bedroom. He put his hands on your waist, holding onto your love-handles.

“Oh my god!” you cried, writhing in pleasure, arching your back to meet his thrusts. You put your hands on his abdomen. His skin was hot, but smooth, and his muscles rippled as he fucked you. He had to smooth his hair back out of his face now and then.

After a while, he angled his legs to fuck into you at a higher protectory. His tip was able to hit you deeper.

You held onto your own legs as Timmy used you as an anchor. He rutted into you as fast as he could muster.

"Ah, fuck." he muttered. Sweat dripped from his brow, he closed his eyes, shooting his cum into you. He groaned as his balls were emptied, and he crashed onto you.

You wrapped your arms around his spent body. Your skin stuck to his in a shiny layer of sweat. His cock softened inside of you; you felt his warm cum leaking out.

Timmy nuzzled into your neck, leaving little kisses on your skin. His hand grazed over your hair as he regained control of his breath.

........

You both cleaned up with a hot bubble bath. Timmy dried you off and you got into bed together, naked.

"So, you just left that girl to come see me?" you asked, facing him.

He looked at you oddly, "Yeah, of course. I'd pick you over anyone."

"Well, that was before you even knew that I liked you back." you pointed out.

He cocked his head slightly, "Hmm, I'm still not even sure if you like me."

You giggled, smacking him playfully, "But really, you like me that much, to risk losing someone else?"

"Y/n, no one compares to you." he said, but then cringed at his own words, "God, that was corny."

"No," you laughed, "I could tell that you meant it. And I really like you too, Timothee Hal." You declared your feelings, once and for all and crawled onto your lover. You felt him hug your body and he kissed you deeply.

A/N: how are we all doing after the golden globes? are we okay? if y'all need to talk, I'll be here. We'll get through this together! lol much love XX

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss

@bitchyunknownuser @lixzey @kpopgirlbtssvt

[pseudophan]

some post wad weekend thoughts...

i just wrote all this on the plane and haven't read it through so apologies for any mistakes

first of all, this weekend was incredible. i usually just kinda sit at home doing not much of anything, and this was a much needed break to actually have some fun. london in general always lifts my spirits but i suppose that danisnotonfire guy contributed a little as well.

guys i think i've met more people the past few days than i otherwise have in years. like. holy shit. i started listing people but i'm petrified i'll forget someone so i chickened out, sorry about that. but you all know who you are. i've met friends i've had for years, people i used to know but haven't spoken to in what feels like a decade, newer friends, and a frankly baffling amount of people i didn't know yet but who told me they've followed me for ages. like holy fuck you guys lmao what the hell??? and i mean did the reaction ever get old no of course it didn't. bad for my ego i'm sure but totally worth it. there's something very amusing and incredibly surreal about being chronically lame in most aspects of life and then suddenly finding yourself in an environment where you're kinda cool???? SO fucking fun oh my god, but also i do kinda feel like i've tricked you all? but hey i'll happily let you keep believing i'm cool, that is more than fine with me.

most importantly though everyone was SO lovely. like i said i don't think i've spoken to this many people in such a short amount of time in years and every single person i talked to was awesome. guys did you know phannies are kind of great... don't tell anyone but, lowkey... everyone is so funny and cool and absolutely insane but in a good way (shoutout everyone left at the gates until the very end, we should probably get some help).

and then lastly of course, mr howell himself. i talk about this a lot i feel like but fuck me that man was born to perform. whether you think he's actually funny or not, nobody can argue he doesn't absolutely thrive on a stage. he plays off the audience so well and he's so very obviously having the time of his fucking life. i'd already seen the show twice before this, and i didn't think anything would top the previous london show but man... the first night he came back out after the show having clearly been tearing up backstage, apologising for being an inconsistent absent parent, and i can't lie the "i had daddy issues and THEN i subscribed to dan howell" got me cause yeah no literally dude, you nailed it, exactly, well done. i think something about doing this show again, his magnum opus as he considers it, now after the dapg return was very special to him. he seems genuinely surprised that so many of us were ready to just jump back in like nothing happened, i don't think he was expecting so many people to still be waiting and it's... man. he comes off so grateful for us all and it's so fucking sweet. and then on the last night, i think that was my favourite, when the show ended and he got the standing ovation and people throwing him flowers.. he was so HAPPY. and clearly overwhelmed with emotion which, i gotta say, there is something honestly kinda funny about daniel howell standing in front of you trying not to cry. like no by all means dude go ahead, please, you've made me cry an endless amount of times it's only fair.

ugh. i'm proud of him or whatever. dick. and i'm proud of our ridiculous fucking community. i'm not sure what 14 year old nora would say if you'd told me i'd still be kicking it in the phandom a decade on, but at almost 25 (fml) i'm so so happy to be here still. you know, we get a bad rep, but i genuinely think as far as fanbases go we're pretty solid. and i love you all so much.

i believe i will have to rob a bank or something because the next time dan and/or phil do a tour i think i'll have to just show up at every date like i'm sorry but this was too good of a high we need to do it again immediately

anyway. back to work 💪

(by which i mean giffing dan and phil. i am still very much unemployed. fr though i'm two whole videos behind this has never happened i feel weird. who am i)

[saeist]

helloo i just read ur itoshi brothers hc and I LOVE LOVE LOVE ITTTT the concept is so cute istg I NEED A PART 2 🫀

i decided to merge both of these asks into one since they're kinda the same premise anyway so this will be a self insert of your own blue lock boy! so that'll mean (bl/p) = blue lock player! also pretty much rin centered 😘

honestly speaking, the only one who'll ever have a problem with you dating is rin tbh. i mean, sae would also bitch about you dating at your age but it's not the same kind of bitching like rin's (💀)

rin would 100% pop a vein vessel when he finds out you're dating one of his peers from blue lock. there's no debate to it. he will quite literally lose his shit.

because first of all, those little blue lock boys that are on rin's palm literally made a scouts honor (rin basically forced them tbh) that they will not be interact with you even if it meant life or death. second of all, i've said this multiple times but it's true, they're gonna get it from rin. he does not give a single fuck if they were teammates, on the same team, literally even if they were roommates with him. rin will absolutely "devour" and "kill" them on and off the field.

so the u-20 vs blue lock match comes rolling in. it currently halftime and all players (including rin) were taking a short break and drinking water while discussing with ego about their plan for the next half of the match.

on the corner of rin's eye, he notices a player walk up to the stands, near where the VIP's were seated. he was about to call them out for not listening to the upcoming game plan but instead he was met with you, his sister, his own blood relative, wiping the sweat off the player's face with a ridiculous smile on your face.

"y/n, what the fuck!" you hear someone complain. you looked up and look who's stomping on the way to you? that's right! it's rin! with his infamous scowl.

"rin-nii~ hi!" you chirped, waving your hand at him. rin stops and whips his head towards (bl/p), glaring at them with the nastiest look on rin's face you've ever seen

"what the fuck is this about, (bl/p)? do you have a deathwish or something?" rin starts to nag. a little too loud for your liking tbh. because all the other players (including u20 btw) are now looking at the commotion.

seeing you looking all lost and confused in between rin and a blue lock player sae has never even heard of, he decides to intervene.

"what's this about, y/n?" you hear sae ask, walking over to you, rin and your boyfriend.

"sae-nii! hi! rin is scaring my boyfriend" you pout, motioning your hands to your boyfriend and rin bickering. sae was about to open his mouth to say something before he whips your head at the speed of light the moment the word 'boyfriend' escaped your lips

you. had. a. boyfriend?

"what did you just say?" sae repeats, putting a hand on his ear as if that would change the shit you just said. sae immediately diverts his attention to your boyfriend and rin. your eyes widened at the realization the both of your brothers were (if not) about to team up for once in their life and quite literally devour your poor boyfriend.

but it seems like luck was with your boyfriend that day. the referees just blew their whistle, indicating it was time for the other half of the match just right before sae opened his mouth.

your boyfriend sighs in relief and jogs over to the rest of the blue lock team with rin in tow. but before rin and sae go back to their respective teams, they both turn around to face you and motioned the "i'm watching you" sign. rolling your eyes, you waved both of them off.

it’s gonna be one hell of an earful at your shared itoshi gc later

[tyrantisterror]

Early Wizard School Mysteries Concept Art Pt. 1: 2017 & 2018

Wizard School Mysteries Book 3: Wicked Witchcraft has been available for purchase in paperback and kindle editions for about a week now, and to do my due diligence as this series' author, editor, and marketing executive, I've gotta make a post about it to annoy you all with so that maybe more people read it and build up a bigger audience for the next one.

So! To accomplish that in a way I find palatable, I've dug up some very old concept art for the series, and am going to parade it out for your enjoyment! Come, look upon my old art and despair be inspired to buy my books!

We're going to start with the earliest sketches I could find, which is from 2017. I kind of adore how ridiculously enormous I made James's hat in this early sketch - it's so huge that he actually has a strap to keep it on his head (look close, you can see it!). His design has a lot of touches from Wizardmon that didn't make it to the final product, namely the abundance of stitches and false faces on his outfit. He's also got a sort of ascot which I'm pretty sure is an homage to Fred from Scooby Doo, because he's in the same role as Fred in our Mystery Solving Teens group. Jesus, that's a big hat.

2017 Ivan doesn't seem too different on a surface glance, though his outfit feels too clean/new to me. It looks nice, but doesn't convey a lot of his character to me.

Ew, 2017 Gretchen, why are you white? Well, ok, the clear answer is because you're just Wizard Velma Dinkley at this point, but hey, at least you've got your iconic scarf!

Jesus Crumbs, I really did not give my human characters enough skull above the eyes to contain a proper brain, did I? A lot of Margot's key visuals are still present here - the gauntlet, the high collar, the partially armored boots - but just, you know, a bit worse, a bit less uniquely designed. She's called Joan at this point because hey, it's from 2017, when the author who everyone associated with wizard schools whose first name happens to be Joanne hadn't gone fully mask off about being a TERF yet, and I could name a wizard character I like "Joan" without worrying that people might think it's a reference to said writer (when it was intended as a reference to Joan of Arc instead).

2017 Rodrigo is pretty recognizable, actually. Kinda weird to me that I had his look pinned down so early compared to the others - though his staff here definitely doesn't fit his status as the most well-off wizard of the bunch, so I can see why I changed it to something more sleek later.

By contrast, 2017 Serena is basically a completely different character on every level. No magical girl trappings, no pigtails, I don't think she was even Asian yet. The name "Cerrigwen" had been given to at least one other character I ended up scrapping for a different project before this, and I'd thought I found a home for it here, but obviously not (though a Cerrigwen did get mentioned as a historical important wizard in WSM Book 2, so maybe I'll find a story for her eventually). Serena's role in the Mystery Solving Teens dynamic is "the weird one," but for whatever reason I wrote "the Joy and the Laughter" here instead. I do think Serena's personality is shining from this design, even if none of the actual details are recognizable - the manic bubbliness here would carry on in all future designs.

Charlotte also looks recognizable at first glance, and I think in some ways she's more explicitly monstrous/nonhuman here. I don't know if that's to her benefit, though? The gangly limbs feel very awkward, like they don't quite fit her frame, and her face is a bit too inexpressive (also holy shit that hat is hilariously too small, it's the opposite of 2017 James's hat). I like the hairy feet and fingers, but it does kinda bog down her design with unnecessary detail.

Holy Christ 2017 Polybeus, you're a fucking nightmare. What's going on with your face? And why are you so skinny? Why are all these people so goddamn skinny?

Let's move to the next year, I don't like looking at this guy. He looks like he'd be voiced by Pauly Shore or Andy Dick. Awful.

2018 James takes the 2017 design and refines it a bit - still has the ascot, has even MORE Wizardmon style false faces and stitches, still has the enormous hat, just all tightened up a bit. I think the problem with this look comes through when comparing the polished design with the sketches I abandoned halfway through above it - namely, the freaky Wizardmon look just doesn't fit with the quiet, deep-thinking personality James is supposed to exude. It looks rad as hell, yes, but it's flashy and chaotic in an attention-claiming way, which doesn't fit James's analytical nature. Good design elements that just didn't fit the character they were slapped onto.

2018 Ivan is also a refinement of his 2017 self, and I like his wacky little pose here - it really communicates his accident prone nature. But he still feels too polished, the outfit can be pushed farther.

Gretchen's looking a bit more like herself now - she's got more layers draping over her body, longer hair to cover her face, and the little tassels on the end of her scarf. Is she still white, or was I just a coward who thought I could just give her a dark skin tone while still drawing her with a straight bob cut and call it good? Not sure.

Margot's getting closer to her current self too - slightly longer face and nose, a bun where her pony tail will eventually go, and I think she's got broader shoulders than her first design? The gauntlet still doesn't feel like it's got the right personality but it's a bit more unique than the first take, and that's progress.

The only big differences I see with 2018 Rodrigo and his current self - beyond the fact that I got better at drawing humans (still not enough room in this drawing's cranium for a human brain) - is that I kinda toned him down from here. This Rodrigo's more or less his current self, but more flamboyant.

Alright, Serena's definitely Asian here, and her costume feels more distinct than her 2017 self, but still doesn't really match her personality. I definitely wanted her outfit to showcase her energetic nature, but the big bulky layers just don't fit. She needs bows and ribbons!

Ok, Charlotte's coming together better too! Still a bit too awkardly gangly, but her face is getting that sweet, friendly look a bit better.

oh thank god

2018 Polybeus is such an upgrade. His outfit's pretty close to what he'd end with, and he's beginning to get that onion-esque hairdo his modern self has, although here it's a bit more like devil horns, befitting his status as an antagonist-turned-ally. Still too thin, though, you gotta start weight training Poly!

That's it for part 1! Next we're skipping to 2020, because for whatever reason I don't have any sketches from 2019.

[vacantgodling]

Hi, I hate to be a bother but is chapter 1 of Paramour (hope I'm spelling that right) the only chapter you've shared or are there more posted? your writing is so good and I've fallen in love with the story after seeing your anniversary art. Also, do you post it anywhere outside of Tumblr? unfortunately, the color scheme of your blog and the size of the font makes it hard for my poor eyesight to read (No hate to you btw I just zoom in real close)

hello hello!! firstly you are not at ALL a bother <3 (also you're spelling it right lol) regarding my desktop blog, i bumped up the font size so i hope that's helped it be a bit more readable? i'm planning on changing up color schemes and the like at the end of this year, but i hope the size change makes it more bearable ;3;

secondly, hearing that people like my writing enough to want to seek more of it has me giggling and kicking my feet so THANK YOU for enjoying chapter 1 and the art so much--there's some details that may or may not get added in whenever i eventually make a third pass at writing this behemoth and i spent 6 hours slaving over that drawing LMAO SO i really appreciate you reading it AND telling me you enjoyed it im so EEEE

at this time, i'm not formally publishing / putting out paramour because its still very much a work-in-progress (essentially, i'm working on draft 2 right now bc i'm doing some major outline renovating, but tbh i'm thinking that when i DO feel like i'm at the point that i want to publish it, i'm kinda leaning towards a serial style like @/stjohnstarling's what manner of man... but those are details for several years from now, i'm just rambling at this point) BUT FEAR NOT!! its my main obsession at all times and i have posted a TON about it on my blog. but for your convenience, i've compiled all the 'main' writing bits that i've posted on this blog over the past several years into this ask so that way if you wanna just read the 'main' meat and potatoes that i've decided to release from the vault so to speak... then here they are.

but, if in general you want to peruse my main wip tag, i talk about paramour so much its Ridiculous lmao -> s: paramour and you can check out the overview powerpoint intro i made for it here, just to get a clearer picture of what the heckie is going on lol -> powerpoint intro

anyway though, the list of main writings, broken into a couple of sections. i will also preface, that chapter 1 doesn't make it too apparent--but there is a LOT of sex, kink, and romance involved in this story. so proceed at your own disgression dear anon since i'm not sure how you feel about that lol.

MAIN WIP WRITINGS (in chronological story order)

paramour draft 2 chapter 1: pre-wedding

paramour (title drop 👀 but this scene is gonna end up slightly different in draft 2)

midnight query (amon and erecia talk in some undetermined chapter)

the bird & the worm (flashback to amon at 12)

but i am not (a bit from chapter 9 of draft 1)

masquerade (the first time hya and amon fuck—there is smut proceed with caution. also the latter half of chapter 9 draft 1)

an invitation (excerpt from chapter 10 draft 1)

displeasure (a relationship snippet from an undetermined chapter)

nervous (just hya and amon being kinky)

ties that bind (kink interrupted by feelings from some undetermined chapter)

divine (some sappy shit from an undetermined chapter)

hiccup (excerpt from chapter 20 of draft 1)

AUS & JUST FOR FUNZIES (meaning not in the main wip)

jealousy (amon & hya slums au—where both of them grow up in central halifax)

pleasure (amon’s birthday present 2023-> this is sex/smut so proceed with caution)

a fool’s errand (role swap au—aka the au where amon is rich and hya is the butler)

laundry (role swap au)

wedding invitation (role swap au—amon being friends with myrtus makes me insane actually)

i know what you’re saying (amon & hya slums au)

[brainrotheartrot]

hi hi yes hello,, first off i just wanna say i LOVE your art.

second, this is kinda weird but i just joined the arcane fandom not too long ago, & it was literally only because i saw vijinx art. like all of my mutuals are into arcane & i never bothered to get into it UNTIL i saw fanart of vijinx a few months ago. something abt it just intrigued me. i honestly never cared for caitvi.

however i wouldn’t consider myself a pro shipper, in fact i’d deny that. this is the first time i’ve enjoyed anything like this & i have no idea why. however i do like hardcore dynamics, for example, ellie/abby from tlou. but of course something like vi/jinx is more “extreme”. well in my opinion.

i’m coming to you because i’ve been stalking a lot of vijinx shippers and i really admire their content, especially yours. it’s such a guilty pleasure of mine. but i’m too scared to interact with anyone, even on an alt. so i just decided to stay anonymous.

i was just wondering if you ever felt guilty the first time you started shipping them? i’d honestly envy you if you haven’t. and how & why did you start shipping them? feel free to rant abt them for as long as you’d like.

i’ve been hearing stuff abt how they weren’t always sisters, like in the early league days. i wish it just stayed that way because it bothers me to not be able to talk abt my favorite ships publicly without being ridiculed for it. but a fucked up part of me is glad that they became sisters. holds more weight, you know. i understand the appeal entirely.

i’ve also even been secretly drawing them but i definitely do not have the balls to post them anywhere😭

ANYWAY, i’m yapping, but just let me know anything about your experience with them, how you view them n stuff. and if you have any advice to give me or any other information pls feel free. thank u so much

ps. i’m totally reading ur fic in a bit

Aww, hey there anon! Thanks for reaching out, always nice to meet another ViJinx fan :) I'm glad you enjoy my art, and I hope you'll like my fic as well! (Also, if you'd like to send me your art privately, I totally promise not to show anybody. <3)

I got a little rambly in my answer there, so I'll put it under the cut.

Honestly, I only call myself a 'proshipper' because this is what modern fandom lingo dictates. I don't really gel with a lot of elements of 'proshipdom', if you will -- there seems to be some broad agreement that if you like Some messed up aspects in your fiction, you must like All of them. And I really don't! I ship ViJinx because I love their specific dynamic, not just because I'm hot for every taboo topic by default. I probably would've shipped them just as much if the show had just made them close childhood friends, for example. But I also have no issue with fictional incest ships, I think they can be fun and juicy.

Like you, I've always been really drawn to problematic and intense lesbian relationships. I like CaitVi plenty, and I think they're going to get a lot messier in S2, which I'm excited for. But ViJinx is just an insanely compelling dynamic. I love the toxic codependent yuri shit. I love the tenderness and the violence, their shared past that now feels completely inaccessible to them both, Jinx's obsessiveness, Vi refusing to give up the image of Powder she's clung on to for years... man, this shit just rocks, okay. I'm not gonna pretend that it doesn't.

I've never felt any guilt about shipping ViJinx, tbh. I'm a fandom oldbie, by which I mean I was around before the morality police took over, and everyone understood we were just here to mash Barbies and have a good time. I've shipped several incest pairings before this, and I've always had a blast doing it. And so help me god, I don't intend to stop now, even if my Twitter blocklist is twenty miles long. I just immediately cut out anyone who tries to start shit, and chill with my fellow weirdos. It's a pretty small circle, but it's a nice time!

If you do decide to make an alt at some point, I recommend doing so on Twitter, as I've been able to find more active ViJinx shippers there. I could rec you some nice people to follow. :) Thanks for reaching out!

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

Could you explain your definition of “animation brats” better? I found your original explanation to be very unwieldy and incoherent. It seems like you relied heavily on people already agreeing with some pretty extreme claims about the correct ways to enjoy media and about how a very broad, generalized group of people think about the media that they watch. I think you tried to throw a lot of things you hate about other people enjoying media that you don’t into it, and therefore it just read as more of a list of things that you hate seeing other people do, rather than a real definition of the term. It came off simultaneously as ridiculously specific in the areas where you were just ranting about shit you hate other people enjoying. But WAY too generalized about defining the actual group of people that you claim possess those traits. Which created an utterly bizarre definition of the term in which seemingly a VERY specific person was being criticized, but one who at the same time ALSO somehow belonged to an extremely nebulous, wide-ranging group of people.

...in the spirit of you taking the time to actually explain yourself as the opposition-even in bad faith-i'll indulge the question and get a little more specific in what "Animation Brat" actually means because I did just kinda brain to hand that last explanation and didn't take it seriously.

Animation Brats fatal flaws are superficiality and a refusal to admit said superficiality.

There are movies and TV shows I like because they're stylized in a way I enjoy but there's little else to them. There are movies and TV I like because they're nostalgic, or their themes personally resonate with me and I'm willing to look past problems to enjoy them.

What I won't do is lie about that and pretend like those things are secret masterpieces that no one else gets unless I can provide strong evidence to prove that fact.

Unless there's a deeper reason to like a movie or show like it's themes being well written and important, or it's characters being complex and nuanced, or it's plot being tight and engaging.

Animation Brats won't go into anything with that nuance because there's this underlying insecurity about liking cartoons they never worked past. They can't just admit they like something because it looks pretty or because they just personally like an idea they explore.

Suddenly every shallow theme must be insanely complex, every character must be incredibly nuanced and rich and every script must be made of gold.

But the arguments never actually go past "it's really good and if you don't like it fuck you" because they won't think through their own critical process.

This is also where the love of superficially dark stroytelling in kids shows comes from. Now admittedly this is an issue for both the consumer AND the creator because more and more show runners are leaning into being "dark"...for a kids show. Everything will be caked in metaphor because you obviously can't talk about things like war and genocide in kids shows, but people will take that as just further proof that the work is "deep". Because the metaphor is there. And the metaphor is for something dark. And kids can't handle dark things and kids can't understand metaphors so this work must be for more than kids. In fact it's not even for kids. It's for them.

They don't think further than "dark subject metaphor=great writing". It's why Animation Brats tend to get hung up on the same few cartoons and animated films. Because those are the only ones that let them play off their shallow enjoyment and/or refusal to take critical thinking seriously off as genuinely thought through sentiments.

And all of this is only a problem because they won't leave other people alone who either see through it or just don't care about it.

You don't need to prove everything you've ever liked is actually super deep and actually perfect, you can just like something...unless you're an animation brat. Then it's your life and opposition is a personal attack.

[uglydollyboy]

What do I feel for him¿ I get that question all the time so I decided to make a post about it. If you want, you can read it completely.

~Dennis Nilsen~

First of all, who is Dennis¿

Dennis Andrew Nilsen was a serial killer known as the Kindly Killer, The Muswell Hill Murderer and the Killer Of The Tie.

He murdered atleast 12 young men until 1983

He liked to be called "Des" by people and he worked as a police officer and a Civil Servant. He died in prison at the age of 72 years old in may 2018 in pain because of internal bleeding. He has a book, his autobiography "The History Of A Drowing Boy" and he has another book written by Brian Masters called "Killing For Company"

He had a dog named Bleep, who was put down after his arrest and he even had budgies named Hamish and Tweetles. And apparently he had a cat too called DD

I wanna clear out that I won't call him "Des" because I don't think he'll let me, or I even deserve to call him Des

Now that you have simple information, I'll put how he was.

Dennis was a very VERY romantic person. If you analize who he was by reading his book and seeing his views on some things and more, you'll notice that he was a romantic, profound, poetic, gentle and unique man. Not to mention handsome as well

He used to love music, cinema and arts. He loved the movie Psycho, loved classical music and loved a painting called "The Raft Of The Medusa"

He was a very intelligent man¡ He was very smart, he had a lot of culture in different stuff. He was a gentle and loving man because of how he acted with the bodies.

Dennis would keep the bodies and the difference with Jeff Dahmer was that Dennis would sleep, dress up, undress and even talk to the bodies. One of his victims had suicide marks on his wrists, and after getting killed by Dennis, one of the things Nilsen thought was that nobody was able to hurt him anymore.

Dennis NEVER had sex with a dead body, the only thing he did was please himself without even touching the body.

Dennis was (you can confirm this by many documentaries) known as a boring guy who had no social life and if he had an idea, he would repeat it over and over and over again.

His views are so profound and so beautiful, changes your point of view on that specific thing immediately

Now that you know that, Let's talk about my twitter.

I used to think that he was just another serial killer and that's it. How stupid I was...

He became the love of my life after I find out who he actually was thanks to someone in twitter, but by the time I find out who he was I was already in a shit position.

I made fun of him and I even talked about how I wanted to fuck him, which made that person in Twitter kinda hate me for all of those ridiculous things I said and posted about.

It was too late, I was stupid enough to disrespect who he was. It's okay to make jokes about him, but not the way I did. What I did is unforgivable.

Now with that out of the way. To finish this whole yap, This is how I feel.

I am in a very deep love with Dennis Nilsen. You did not get it wrong. I'm in love with a serial killer.

I'm in love with a serial killer. Did I cross the line there¿

He is a big part of me, I never felt such deep love and affection for someone, it might seem fake what I say, no need to remind me.

But believe me please, I feel so bad for what I did, making fun of him and more. Please... I'm deeply sorry for that.

I'm so fucking stupid for thinking that he was just one more serial killer. You have no idea how guilty and bad I feel for not sending him just one letter.

If I just knew him before... the letters I would've sent... I cry and wish every night to dream with him but It doesn't work. NOTHING WORKS. Even hugging my pillow every single night

I'm so fucking stressed about this, mostly with the fact that he would hate me if he was alive. I am not a biological boy with blonde straight hair and blue eyes, doll looking and with a lot of culture in music and cinema

I'm an ugly person who thinks he is a boy. I would SACRIFICE, I want to sacrifice who I am just for him to like me as a person or friend atleast.

I keep suffering for a dead man that would never like me no matter how much I change, how much I try. He will never like me as much as he would like Zeynep.

I try and try and try to get into his things. But still, that won't make me a better person.

If I could just see him one more time, That's enough for me. Hearing his voice one more time it's enough as well.

He would think I'm such a cry baby and a loser for the things I feel. But atleast he has an opinion of me.

I'm desperate to get something of him, just to feel like he is here again. I have lots of pictures of him in my room, all put around my bed and wall, thinking that he is listening to me talking or doing something else. But reality is that... No. He is not here.

My eyes are swollen from crying last night and my voice is shit for screaming how much I love him all the time. If I just knew him before, I would've sent all those letters I have. Even if he didn't reply to them, atleast I sent them to him, right¿

I know that he hates me, no need to remind me. But I still can't help the fact that I adore him with all my heart. All my friends and family are TIRED of me saying how much I love him.

I... I just want him to read my letters, see me and tell me what he thinks of me. But that's not possible anymore.

I'm currently crying while writing this, sorry Dennis because I'm such a cry baby and a loser.

I spoke to my psychologist about Dennis because I'm confused, I don't know if my love for him is good or bad, so she told me to make a list with good and bad things about loving him. Currently I keep doing that list

I'll keep updating this probably until I'm satisfied, one more time. I'm sorry for all the things I did and said about him, I'm sorry if I annoy you all the time. I understand if you don't wanna be friends with me.

If you reached this part, woah, thank you for reading. I love you

[wetcatspellcaster]

"Angry lesbian" had me in tears 😂

This chapter had been heartbreaking. Poor Astarion. I want to hug him, with consent. While reading the part of what Cazador made him do in this fic and how public reacted, I remembered Gossip by Maneskin. Like, the celebrity culture is ridiculous as it is, but mixing in someone like Cazador to be the kinda monopolist of it... Oof. (Disney, I'm looking at you too)

I'm also was reminded of This is Us, a bit. I watched the show long time ago now, but yeah. That "pretty face, perfect body, don't you talk smart, you are not here for it", and all the confidence problems. Please don't get offended, I'm just connecting the dots to imagine how Astarion's healing may go. He is doing a fair enough job, thanks to Wyll mostly as I understand.

Also. The internalised homophobia. Is it there? Because I can smell it. With him assuming Rose is lesbian, and not really caring about representation, and like yeah, not everyone does, but. Oooh so much trauma. Sign him up for therapy, Wyll. Please.

I can imagine Wyll once tugging Astarion alone to one of the parties Karlach throws, and then him and Rose both accidentally hiding in the bathroom for some reset and quiet time.

Their messaging was so cute. And I assumed Rose was keeping it professional, as not answering work emails on her days off, but I guess I forgot who she truly is. Can't wait to read what they were up to.

So, is the apartment Rose visited in the apartment Astarion lives? I got confused about the printer being one of the few pieces of furniture there. Or is it just his own furniture that there is little of? Poor baby will have to start as a student who just moved out. And with his taste, it will be expensive. Unless he finds a sugar mummy Rosalie, but that'll come in ten years (probably), and I hope he will smarten up until then.

I was laughing at Astarion reading the books and taking in the multi syllabic words. I could imagine his Intelligence scale going 9.1, 9.2, 9.3 all the time.

It's hilarious and bittersweet how he thinks Rose is adapt when we all read and felt how anxious she was. And how she thought him so cold and collected, when Astarion is literally on the brink of breakdown over his career. The masks are on point.

And just how well you adapted game Astarion to this AU Astarion. He is just as haughty and just the same menace he was in game, but wrapped in more shiny (if that's possible) package. And the nods to the vampirism, even when he is not a vampire here. The hat, the love of sunlight, the shitty food, the insomnia! I've been screaming, even if that was incidental connections.

I can so imagine Astarion not reading type. He just isn't. He is too busy with other... Stuff. So hope Rose will show him the world. Of library. (Oh no, now I remember what Rose got up at libraries, and oof. Hot)

I can imagine it will take time for Astarion to trust her, and open up, since they barely know each other. It will be such a fun journey, I'm sure you will write it masterfully as always, and we will enjoy it immensely!

And the podcast part (that orcish woman - hot), and the book - "the soup" I bet was fun to write. And I'm with Astarion - I would've listened to Rosalie talk about everything for days. She is so expressive and clearly interested in the subject, that it will be very entertaining and educational. I wish she had been my history professor, because I would've enjoyed the lectures much more than I ever did, and now I'll learning history by myself. So I can understand Astarion's perspective at "oh shit, this person who was so glorified is actually not only ugly AF, but also a horrible horrible person"

Thank you so much for this chapter! It's a nice cozy reading for a dreary raining day!

hi anon! thanks for such a detailed message. i'm glad you're enjoying the fic :) tried to answer your question below!

I've never seen This Is Us, so I can't really be offended lol. If this turns out to be another Bojack Horseman moment where i find out my plot has affinities to shows I've never seen then, hurrah! there really are 7 basic plots in the world. (a lot of the inspiration was mostly from webtoons, kdrama, and - as always - buffy).

about internalised homophobia, I mean... there's a difference between internalised homophobia, and having a sense of belonging/community when being gay. lots of people are queer without it being political, or they 'keep politics out of it' - unless in this case, where it serves a narrative. i don't think it's homophobia, so much as not finding that belonging with anybody, right now. this astarion has no community, and also a great degree of privilege, so why would he care to engage or empathise with strangers he doesn't know? i was just using it as a way to stress his feelings of isolation, the same that in the first act of the game he is performing a social script without really feeling anything other than survival, and how he is also alienated from himself. if you don't feel good about yourself and you also don't have a support network, then why would you be openly vulnerable about any kind of queer experience, especially when it's overlapped with a degree of abuse, especially when you're learning to wield an insincere version of it as a new weapon?

...maybe when he has friends...

as for the 'angry lesbian' joke, we'll get round to why he is assuming that in the next chapter, and the answers is funnier than you think

the apartment Rosalie visited is where he lives. if you imagine an airbnb, an airbnb wouldn't have a printer. one of the few things he's had to buy outside of essentials, is all i meant. bc he doesn't really have anything he needs to buy right now.

all vampirism references/transformations are deliberate :) and parties incoming x

[barry-j-blupjeans]

TAZ NC Day 9: Your Job AU

@taznovembercelebration

Look. Look. The chances of running into someone else who knew magic were very, very small. Lup understood that. Magic, while great, tended to be isolating. She was incredibly lucky to have Taako. Lup couldn't imagine what it was like to grow up not knowing what was wrong with you— maybe not ever knowing there wasn't anything wrong with you. If it hadn't been for their tía, Lup wasn't sure if she would have ever accepted that part of herself.

Yes, magic was rare. Yes, it wasn't typically used in public.

And yes, she was ninety-nine percent sure that this Office Depot employee was magic.

It was just— okay maybe Lup was biased in her belief that you had to be a little magic to be able to work retail. Like, there was no way anyone was getting through that shit with no magic whatsoever. But Lup had been here for exactly ten minutes while Magnus went around looking for a new desk and there was definitely some kind of magic here.

The employee at the print counter had been doing nothing but sorting paper since she got here. Maybe it was a slow day, because while Lup wasn't sure what the print center did, it was probably more than just sorting papers. But this guy had been at it for ten minutes straight, easily separating different types of paper (which all looked the same!) into several different piles. It was getting ridiculous at this point. He was barely even looking at the paper while he did this. There had to be some kind of tomfuckery going on.

Lup looked over her shoulder. There was a lady further into the store browsing through different file folders and she could barely see the top of Magnus's head over the shelves, looking at the desk displays in the back. With the coast clear, she made her way over to the print counter, leaning up against it. The employee had ducked under the counter a second ago, a stack of paper in his hands.

When he rose back up, he jumped slightly upon seeing her and said,

"Oh shi—" He coughed, cutting himself off. His name tag was shiny and had a skull sticker (?) attached to it. It read, Barry and then, on the line below it, I love printing banners! "How, uh— how can I help you?"

"Do you really love printing banners?" Lup asked, instead of the magic-related words she wanted to say.

Barry's eyebrows raised a little. "Love it," he said. Lup gave him a look. "Yeah, nah. I— banners suck. Unless you want to get a banner—?"

"I'm good," Lup said, not knowing what she would even use a banner for right now. "I was just— I came with my friend to look at desks but that's super fuckin' boring—" Barry nodded. "— so I've just kinda been walking around."

If Barry had seen here crouching behind the boxes of paper and staring at her, he didn't say anything.

"And then I was wondering what, uh— what kinda paper options you have. Forrrrr. Printing. On papers."

Lup was so good at this. Barry's lips quirked up into a little smile.

"Depends on what you're wanting to print," he said.

"Forms? No. Photo…graphs. Photographs."

"Well," Barry said, wisely choosing to not question the mess that Lup had just made with her mouth. "Usually for photographs, we've got, uhm— glossier options? Hang on." He ducked back under the counter and returned a second later with two pieces of very shiny paper. "Eight point," he said, handing her one. "Ten point." He handed her the other.

These were the same paper. These were a hundred percent the same paper. If Lup had doubted her reasoning before, she knew now. Either this guy was fucking with her or he had wizardly magics to tell them apart.

"What's, uh, what's the difference?"

"This one's thicker," Barry said, pointing to the ten point.

It wasn't. It really wasn't. Lup weighed them in her hands. There had to be some kinda spell to tell the difference, right? Or maybe this guy was just magically attuned to paper? That was probably a thing that happened. Probably. Like Merle's thing with plants.

Actually, Lup really, really hoped it wasn't like Merle's thing with plants.

"It's hard to tell," Barry said comfortingly in Lup's silence.

"I can tell," Lup said, like a liar. She had to let this guy know she was in on the secret somehow. But he didn't seem to pick up on it. Or, if he did, it was hidden behind the customer service mask. This was getting her nowhere. But she couldn't just straight up ask this guy if he had magic. That'd be weird.

"So, uh, do you have a prefe—"

"Are you magic," Lup interrupted.

"Am I… magic?" Barry repeated.

Lup looked over her shoulder, toward the desk displays. Magnus was currently with another employee, showing them a picture of something on his phone. Probably his dogs. Or his office, if he had managed to stay on track. Lup looked back to Barry and set the papers down. She held out her hand and summoned a flame.

"Ah." Lup wasn't good at reading people, but there was something in Barry's expression that made her think he understood. Or maybe it was the customer service mask again. "That is— that's a fire hazard, ma'am."

[fangaminghell]

Ava Alone

Summary: Ava finds herself alone after the fall. She has a lot to think about.

Notes: Several things! 1) POKEMON DESOLATION SPOILERS AHEAD DON'T READ IF YOUR UNFAMILIAR WITH THE GAME!!! 2) This fic takes place within my own version of events of desolation, where things are extended more. The player takes like. A week to climb down that Silver Rise, bc it's a fucking mountain. Of course that's subject to change, but for the sake of this fic, that's the case. 3) I dunno if this would be ooc for Ava or not lol. I'm kinda using my own hcs here and 4) Asra is my protag oc! i think that's everything so I hope you enjoy!

~~~~~

Her landing wasn’t exactly painless, but thankfully, it was painful either. How she survived the fall, she doesn’t know, and honestly, she doesn’t want to know. The first thing she clocked in was that Asra wasn’t there. Asra wasn’t there. A panic starts to settle in her stomach as she forces herself up from the ground, wincing as she does, and her head turns left and right in hopes that she can find her best friend….but nothing. 

Ava frowns, just now realizing exactly where she is. Well….it certainly isn’t the sky. Trees and grass are all she can see...shit did she fall in the middle of some woods? 

“Great,” she mumbles to herself, fully picking herself off the ground and trying to once again, take in her surroundings. She can’t exactly complain about her landing spot - it’s a goddamn forest, her element really - and she could be lying if she said it wasn’t just a bit cozy. She didn;t sense an immediate danger, and the serenity of it all was peaceful. 

“Welp,” she mutters, “ Where do I go from here?”

She starts to walk, wincing a bit as she realizes- for what seems to be the millionth realization today - that her body was more roughed up than she initially thought. But it’s whatever. She can deal with it. So she keeps trudging on…

~~~~~

Addenfall is a nice place, Ava decided. A small community with nice people in a nice area - what more do you want? The minute she showed up in the town, she was immediately taken to the pokemon center to heal up - both her and her pokemon. She insisted that she was fine, but they pretty much forced her to rest, which. Sure. Whatever. Not like Asra is still out there somewhere and she’s not looking for them. It’s not like Asra, for all she knows, could be dead-

Her breath hitches, and she rubs two fingers against the bridge of her nose. Okay. Maybe…maybe rest sounds like a good idea. She needs to get her thoughts in order. She needs to think of a plan.

“ Alright Ava, recount the steps. How did you get here?” 

She closes her eyes, and thinks back to the events leading up to now. They just got a way to get to Cellia….they took the Jinx teleporter and….

Ava’s eyes shot wide open, and a wave of anger crashes into her. Scarlett was there. Scarlett sided with those…fucking lunatics! And for what? A stupid dream? Those people almost killed her! And she had the fucking gall to-

“ You know what? I’m done thinking,”Ava huffs, turning aside in the bed Nurse Joy gave her. She forces her eyes shut, not letting herself even think of that girl she once called her friend. She doesn’t deserve that title. Not anymore.

~~~~~

It’s been a few days. Still no Asra. Once she was given the okay by Nurse Joy, she immediately started searching. With the help of her pokemon, she pretty much looked through the entirety of Addenfall Woods - nothing. The scary thought that Asra might be dead was growing louder by the day and she just desperately wanted to be proven wrong. Or….or maybe Asra joined Team Cresent, too. Ava shakes her head- no that’s ridiculous. Asra isn’t like Scarlett. They at least have a good head on their shoulders. 

She sighs, taking a rest near a tree within the woods. She once again tries not to think of a familiar pinkette. Tries not to think of her face right before Ava fell.  Because it’s not worth it. She made her choice, so it isn’t worth it…….right?

Ava looks down at the back of her hands, resting on her knees. There’s a few more scraps there, from all the looking that she’s done for the past few days. Going from her fingers to her nails, a vibrant shade of green pops out. Oh right. Her nails. The nail polish chipped now, given everything that had happened to her for the past….week? God she doesn’t even know. She frowns at her nails- she doesn’t even like nail polish that much honestly. Why was she wearing it again?

“ Ava, stop squirming, you're going to smudge your nails!” Scarlett huffs, pointing the tiny nail brush at her. Ava rolls her eyes, looking at the hand in Scarlett’s. 

“ I can’t believe you two convinced me to wear this….” she says, looking down at her nails, most of which are now coated in green nail polish. She can hear Asra laugh lightly. 

“ Scarlett wanted us to match, somehow,” they say, and while they are behind her, Ava can feel their small smile on their face, “ Besides, you could have said no. We all know, you could have said no. But you didn’t~” 

Ava groans, resting her head on her non nail polished hand, “ Yeah yeah, you two are sooooo lucky I like the both of you,” she can’t exactly hide her smile, looking at Scarlett who’s smiling back.

“ It’ll be worth it, trust me!” she beams, then focusing back on Ava’s nails, “ Besides, it’s been foreeeeever since we had a makeover together! Even if it’s just nail polish!”

Scarlett finishes a nail, and examines it with her critical eye. After a few seconds, she nods, smiling. 

“ I just think it would be nice to bring something old to our new beginning. Don’t you think?”

“ Venusaur?” Ava jumps slightly at her pokemon’s cry. She looks to her side to see her Venusaur looking at her with worry. She straightens herself up, wiping whatever it was in her eye. 

“A-ah! I must have zoned out huh? Let’s head back to town, hm?” she tries to prevent her voice from shaking, and tries her best to give her partner a reassuring smile. Venusaur Ava’s smile wavers a bit, feeling some more tears threatening to fall. She gets up immediately, turning away from her partner.

“I’m fine! Really! It’s getting late, so we should really get back,” 

She hates that she’s hiding from her Venusaur, she hates that she feels like she has to, but she does anyway. She can hear Venusaur sigh, and starts trudging along with her back to Addenfall Town. She makes a mental note to smother Venusaur with treats as an apology.

~~~~

Was I a good friend to her?

The question plagued her ever since she woke up the next morning. It left an empty feeling in her gut, and for once, she can’t push that thought out of her mind. 

“Of course I was,” she’d try to reason with herself, “ We’ve been friends since high school, why wouldn’t we be?” But it was never enough. The question repeated itself over and over in her mind, a wave a guilt would wash over her as she thinks back to every interaction the two had.

“ I should have paid more attention,” she would chastise herself later that day, “ I should have talked to her, should have been nicer to her- fuck and I was so quick to throw her away! What was I thinking-”

“Saur?” Once again, her Venusaur snaps her out of her thoughts, looking at her with such concern. The shame of hiding before crept up on her once more, and she leaned towards her partner, hugging it as she whispers,

“ I think I’m a bad friend.” Her voice was quiet, broken, and it took all her strength not to cry. Venusaur coos, gently tapping Ava’s back, as if to say “ That’s not true”. Now it’s Ava turn for disbelief. But she holds her Venasuar anyway. It gives her comfort, at least. That’s the best thing she needs right now.

~~~~~

It would have been officially and week since Ava found herself in Addenfall. Still no Asra. Still no Scarlett. She refuses to believe Asra is dead. And she prays that Scarlett isn’t fully gone. She tried traveling through Silver Rise Forest, but it’s fucking cold, cold and cold. Literally one of the worst places for her and her grass types. And she tried getting through that joint, she really did. Didn’t help that it was so big. She had to cut her loses and hope for a miracle.

Addenall is still as nice as it ever was. She tries to help around where she can, but she finds herself going out for walks more than anything. It’s nice. Helps with her stress. But that isn’t always enough now is it? So imagine her surprise when she she walks out of town to see a Black Fox grunt harassing one of the townspeople. And righteous anger rages within her and she finds herself storming towards the damn grunt, ready for him to feel her wrath.

Good, she thinks. She needed an outlet.

[zukkacore]

you reblogged that director's cut ask meme and i KNEW exactly already the scene. towards the end where it starts with:

"Disappointment. “Look. Whatever fantasy you’re trying to cling to, I don’t want any part of it. If you need anything, get another me to do it for all I care. I’m just—done playing house, Porter.” to "How ridiculous."

OR anything about the pomegranate tree which. i put my phone down to stare at the ceiling when the pomegranate tree was mentioned.

HIiiii!!!!! Thank you so much for sending me this honestly you picked a good one.

Ok. this scene is crazy bc i think it was the flashback scene that felt the most necessary to include. Not the one i fought the hardest for (jace good/bad teacher you have my heart ended up making sense but for a long time i was like cut that shit. You know you just want to be indulgent. Until i realized the ratgrinders haunt the narrative). Nor the one that feels the most. Obvious I guess? Or the most evocative? (The one where they're at Porter's house feels like so vivid and real to me not like necessarily bc of my writing its just like real in my mind like if Jace is reading Porter's memories there's definitely something in there that is just Precious and Heartbreaking and Deeply Ironic and almost simplistically affectionate in its portrayal of the Old Jace.

Anyway. This scene in the backyard felt. Necessary I guess? But i also worried i was trying too hard to make it work. It actually wasn't even really originally about Frosty Fair. Like. Jace still was walking out bc of a fight abt the ratgrinders but it was more abstract? I think the fact that its like ruben was getting attacked by grix is a throughline though for jace taking damage for TRGs in the forest. The ratgrinders were not originally going to be this like chekovs gun and like i honestly felt kinda bad that i was like. hm. awfully convenient for Jace to forget abt them so quickly in favor of getting. some dick but also like that's the whole POINT. I was like. Well i can at least highlight how absurd that is by making him ashamed but not really altruistic enough to do anything about it. But its like. Kinda the throughline now.

Originally I was like. Honestly rly embarrassed bc i felt like Jace taking damage in the forest was such a contrived way to get him and Porter to hook up like oooooh patching up injuries how original. But I feel like. There's a whole subplot kinda ABOUT jace taking the damage now. Now the whole story is about how he cares.

And post-Jace HATES that that's the reason Porter brought him on b/c he's so alienated from that version of himself, and he's disgusted with himself for feeling like he's never doing enough or caring enough. For being neglectful and running away. So when Porter grabs his wrist in the memory,

“I don’t think so, Stardiamond. You want this to work. You care, you always have. I know that’s who you still are.”

it's like. He's not seeing Jace for who he is. He's still clinging to the past. But also don't think he's completely wrong. Because jace does take that damage in the forest. He always had that capacity to care in him.

Anyway. I'll backtrack to the. Top of the scene tho.

Disappointment. “Look. Whatever fantasy you’re trying to cling to, I don’t want any part of it. If you need anything, get another me to do it for all I care. I’m just—done playing house, Porter.

Ok so this comes right after the whole. Jace wants Porter to acknowledge what he means to him. & Porter only mentioning his utility to The Plan. So. In my Mind the fantasy that Porter clings to about Jace and the fantasy Porter clings to about the house of sunstone heir of the cliffbreakers thing is made of the same stuff. It's all a glorious past that has been lostt to him. It's all something he's desperately trying to cling to.

There's also the fact that Jace says "I'm done playing house, Porter" (which i know is epilogue coded what can i say we get metatextual up in here). But. To me that's about. This idea of family. Porter feels he's been denied something of his lineage. In his mind he's doing this for his family as well as himself. I really wanted there to be something in there about Jace basically saying like. Why do you need to do this for your family. I'm your family. But it felt too on the nose and maybe not true to the character. B/c like. What family? The whole Jaceporter and the ratgrinders make up like a shitty fucked up fall of the house of usher type family is so real to me. But the thing is. That's a fantasy. Most of the ratgrinders are shatterstarred. Porter is clinging to something that doesn't exist.

And he says "if you need anything, get another me to do it for all I care." which. I think I needed to justify something within the text... But besides that. "get another me to do it" is so like. I think there's two things in there. 1) Jace is talking about his own replaceable nature within the plan. Calling attention to the fact that Porter actually COULD replace him, he just doesnt want to because he wants it to be jace. He just won't say that he'll say i need you you're so important blah blah. 2) obviously that's a bit of a jaceclone reference. He's saying literally another me, and long as I personally get that distance from you idc.

already talked abt the you care line so I'm gonna skip past it.

Another swing of Bigby’s Hand. This time, it’s a miss, and it dissipates—too rattled to concentrate. Jace seethes. “I don’t give a fuck what you think of me, or about who your Jace was. I’m —”

Ok. So like. I've talked about this a little bit, but I actually I do have a soft spot for the guardians of the galaxy 3 i actually think its pretty good and i don't like peter and gamora really but i think gotg3 uses them in very interesting ways b/c Quill keeps trying to insist that this gamora (a gamora from another time who never experienced the movies) should live up to the gamora from his memories. The line i actually really like is "What are you so afraid of within yourself that you need me to be something for you" which AAAAGGGGHHHH i feel sick about is very jaceporter to me. (The other scene that is very them is gamora saying “you know. I’m still not who you want me to be” and him going “yeah but who you are ain’t so bad” “I bet we were fun” “like you wouldn’t believe.” PORTER YEARNS FOR OLD JACE BUT ALSO ?? DID OLD JACE LOVE HIM TO THE POINT OF INVENTION?)

I don't think Porter would ever refer to the old jace as His Jace but I definitely think this jace conceives of it that way. & this is even more fucked bc PORTER put him here. That shit just happened to Gamora. PORTER is the one that wanted to actualize and use Jace but also misses who he used to be. And porter isn't wrong that this jace has the capacity to be as "good" at the old jace, but he's definitely not willing to acknowledge the harm he's caused or the pain this jace is in. I almost ended the exchange with "I'm Jace" but i felt like that also would be too on the nose. The fact that the name Jace is inherently a little bit silly does take a bit of the bite away. Sorry bestie beloved but its true ur name is ridiculous.

I think so much of this fic is Jace reconciling that he wants to be loved but he doesn't know in which way. Like. On the one hand he's saying please love as I am—as a person who has undergone irreconcilable trauma, different and the same. On the other hand he's saying please love me as I am— as the doggish, devoted frankenstein's creation that can't help but love his creator. And I think there's a little bit of both here. A little bit of Why are you asking for the old jace when i am what i am, the person you made, someone else, and i'm RIGHT HERE. And its a little bit of Why are you asking for the old jace expecting me to be something i no longer recognize, can you at least acknowledge that this trauma has changed me, that i feel different, that i feel as if i can never go back. But maybe those are the same thing

I also want a brief sec to talk abt that bigby's hand. I just wanted something that would leave a large impact i think? Like. this is such a WEIRD pull but i was watching that dirty laundry w/ brennan in which he talks abt getting in a car crash where the car trenches a hole in the grass and stops just shy of a woodchuck hole and he starts laughing in shock. I thought abt that a lot in the scene with the Motivational Poster bc of the laughing of shock but i also liked that imagery i guess of trenching a crater.

Pain, as the rage crystals and untamable arcana course through his veins—he can feel it in the present, too—and then the Jace in the memory surges so bad that he passes out on the lawn, but not before frying the nearby pomegranate tree to a crisp with a jolt of lightning. Jace turns away from that one as if flinching from a raised hand. Despite everything, he wishes most of all to apologize about the tree. He could laugh. How ridiculous.

Im playing a little loose with sorcery stuff but aint that the sorcery way i guess. Anyway I like in other fic when Jace has a hard time controlling his sorcery due to being shatterstarred as a way of being like yeah he's discordant with himself. Its sooooo good. I think the rage here is a little bit his and Porters. I don't know if thats how it works in the text but i made the call that jace's rage can also incite the crystal to act up.

OK SO lastly. THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP THE POMEGRANIT TREE JUST BC ITS FUN even tho its literally is like. Yeah I love Hadestown and Jaceporter are soooooo persephades / orphydice coded. I liked the imagery of his surge being so bad that it kills the something dear to Porter in the garden, and I was like. Frying a tree sounds cool. And I was like. Well if its gonna be a fruit tree of COURSE it can't be any old tree it has to be a pomegranite tree. OF COURSE. And it's not stated but i do think it kinda was the centerpiece of that garden. And of course like. A pomegranate on its own already means a lot. In terms of like. Death n rebirth Persephades and this idea of the cycles of the seasons and leaving n returning and the overlap with this idea of like, corruption and a Fall from grace

Also a shoutout to my ability to neglect real world facts. "Lily, white, and Poppy red. I trembled as he laid me out. " Yeah, Porter decimated the poppies in the fight. They're completely out of season but we can play pretend.

I do think him wanting to apologize for the tree is like. Such a funny moment. I think after i wrote what happened to the tree i felt bad for said tree. There is something really sad abt that. So i think Jace would feel bad about destroying something that takes so long to grow, that Porter cares about, and find away to blame himself even tho Porter is the one who started everything.

Anyway. This scene felt. Necessary bc i think there needed to be some semblance of showing them in like. Actual conflict. at the time i actually did NOT know that THIS would be THE FIGHT in the exhange that Porter was talking about earlier. When he said "i thought you meant it this time". i mean. its not explicit but I do think there's a finality to the interaction that implies that yes. Jace was fucking serious this time. And again there's that throughline of the ratgrinders haunting the narrative. About Jace caring and feeling like he's never caring enough.

Like, so much of the story is ABOUT Porter looking right past jace and i felt like there should be scene that. Says it outright. But also. Not being completely wrong. IMO. B/c I also think Jace was threatened by the version of himself that porter sees. And he thinks he doesn't live up to that. he COULD never live up to that. (And in some ways he does. In some ways. He's might even be perfect in his own way. He kinda loved Porter to the point of invention so)

[toujokaname]

Card shuffle / Episode 13

Author: Akira

Characters: Rinne, Aira, Mayoi, Niki, HiMERU, Tatsumi, Kohaku, Hiiro

"—I see. In today's match, the winner was Crazy:B."

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[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su ♪ ]

Season: Winter

Location: Café Cinnamon

Rinne: You see, I, Rinne Amagi-kun, am the leader of Crazy:B. That fact has never officially changed on paper or in any official records.

Aira: W-Well, even if the records say so, it was decided by the show's rules, as part of the production, to swap leaders—

Rinne: Hey, did any of you guys hear that notice from anyone other than me?

Mayoi: Eh...? Ah, now that you mention it...? It was Rinne-san who informed us about the change in leadership, and neither ES nor the administration made any mention of it—correct?

Niki: Y-Yeah. Rinne-kun suddenly brought it up, and we just kinda went along with it, like "oh, for realsies~?"

Niki: If it meant getting rid of Rinne-kun's tyranny, even for just a little, I was all for it.

Rinne: Niki's in for a wrestling move later.

—And oh, if you bothered to pay attention to the project proposal, you would've noticed that not a single line mentioned a leader swap.

HiMERU: So, to sum it up, Amag—Rinne just spoke on his own accord about the leadership exchange.

We were under the mistaken impression that it was a directive from the planning or management team.

Niki: W-Why'd you have to tell such a lie?! Got my hopes up for nothing! I thought, finally, I could be happy too!

Rinne: You better start practicing your falling techniques.

Tatsumi: —I see.

In today's match, the winner was Crazy:B.

It was a strange, inherently implausible event.

Kohaku: Ahh? Is it really so impossible for us to beat ALKALOID? Just 'cause ES has it out for us, ain't ya gettin' a little too arrogant?

Tatsumi: I didn't mean that, what I meant was that it was a strange situation within the framework of the Matrix rules.

As Rinne-san confessed earlier, his and Hiiro-san's positions were not exchanged—If that is indeed the case...

In today's showdown, not a single Crazy:B member was on the stage.

Mayoi: Errmm, umm... Aah, yes, I understand.

If Hiiro-san remained the leader of ALKALOID, then only the four members of ALKALOID were on the stage.

That means that no one from Crazy:B's side was present in the showdown.

HiMERU: Right. Then, under normal circumstances, Crazy:B should have lost by default.

And yet. The audience gave a high score to Crazy:B, even though none of us were on stage...

As a result, we ended up being declared the winners.

Rinne: Ain't that a riot ♪ Under Matrix's rules, everyone waved their glow sticks at the empty, uninhabited void.

They were voting up a storm! Gyahaha! ☆

HiMERU: You appear to genuinely enjoy ridiculing people like this, Rinne.

Rinne: But I mean, ain't it clear how meaningless the DreamFes system is?

Even if according to the rules there are no idols, rack up plenty of votes, and suddenly you're "outstanding idols," huh! ♪

In the extreme, idols don't even have to sing and dance on stage. If they get votes, they're winners, they're the superior idols—What a load of bullshit! ♪

Rinne: Do you think I can stomach to have our worth be measured by such an empty system without an ounce of humanity? Do you?

I'm gonna keep on proving just how stupid ES is, so buckle up!

ES's beloved ALKALOID will be thoroughly beat to a pulp, while we, Crazy:B, who ES hates like poisonous bugs, continue our winning streak—

I'm gonna kick the shit outta ES through you guys and laugh my ass off, gyahahahaha! ☆

Hiiro: —Is that so. I see. That's amazing.

There was no change of monarch (leader). Through such a trivial trick, Nii-san brought two victories to his own forces.

Niki: What? Really? It does look like we won today's game, but for the next round—

Hiiro: I remained the monarch of ALKALOID. In other words, all of the ALKALOID members took part in the competition as “representative players."

Following the Matrix rules, none of us can compete in the next round. In other words, regardless of the details of the match, Crazy:B will win by default in the next showdown.

Rinne: Exactly right. Two victories outta two matches, and we've already pulled ahead of ALKALOID by a considerable margin.

It'll be a liiittle tough to make a comeback from this point on ♪

Aira: S-Setting all this up before the real battle even started... You're taking this frivolous wrestling showdown way too seriously, Rinne-senpai.

It's incredible... Really, incredible is the only word for it...

Rinne: Ohh, look at you actually praising me for once, Girlfriend-kun.

Aira: I'm not praising you, I'm just kinda appalled...

So much stuff's starting to make sense now—Rinne-senpai seemed oddly detached despite looking like he'd enjoy this kinda competition.

Was it because you were planning to betray us right away?

HiMERU: Indeed. Hiiro-san trained HiMERU and the others so thoroughly that we sincerely hoped he'd take pity on us, but there'd be no need to do so if he was going to betray us sooner or later.

Hiiro: Umu. That would only end up aiding the enemy.

Rinne: Gyahaha. After getting told the truth, it's way too late to be saying "I thought something was off." You're so lame ♪

Rinne: And of course, this ain't all I've got in store for you. I've mapped out a strategy to win every battle from start to finish, so you better brace yourselves—"ALKALOID."

It's thanks to ES's favoritism that you've been strolling along the sparkling Cinderella road.

But in this project, you lot are gonna continue suffering these miserable defeats, playing the role of pathetic losers, got it?

The role you've been given is not that of a poor little ash-covered princess who deserves to be happy.

Instead, you're meant to play the wicked stepmothers and stepsisters who trample on such unfortunate heroines.

You've been strutting around all high and mighty, but this time around, there's no happy ending in store for you ♪

Tatsumi: ...As much as we're being spoken ill of, I don't believe we've done anything particularly cruel.

Rinne: True that! Tough luck, you guys are just unfortunate gamblers who happened to roll the worst possible fumble.

You might have a laundry list of gripes, but you better curse your rotten luck for having stumbled into the gambling den that is the idol industry!

HiMERU: —Your gaze was vacant and lifeless until today, but suddenly you're brimming with energy, Rinne.

Niki: Yeah, that look on his face's like when he hits the pachinko jackpot and a buncha balls start flooding out...

Kohaku: I reckon this rotten scoundrel feels most alive when showin' off his own wickedness.

Madara-han from Double Face is cut from the same cloth.

Rinne: Hey, hey, I'm practically handing you guys the win, so won'tcha ease up already?

[ ☆ ]

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[golbrocklovely]

i'm blocking out the accounts bc i'm not about to draw more eyes to them. funny enough, i went snooping on my own and found both accounts before this ask.

also this is just a warning, i'm running on about two percent battery brain power, so if this doesn't make sense and/or sounds like i'm an asshole, that's why. i'm not trying to be rude to you anon, so please don't think that. i'm just ridiculously tired of this situation and the ppl involved in it.

imma be so forreal, i kinda have to laugh at all of this. first off, both of these accounts are run by teenagers… and it's very obvious. it reads like a jealous little girl's diary.

also i can debunk all of their shit in a heartbeat. half of it is just them saying "see ! malia is a slut who had work done" and all i gotta say to that is… do you say that about amber? shea? stas? just curious. bc they all got work done, and they all have casual sex (most likely) or at the very least have hooked up with colby. so like???? keep the misogyny even if you're gonna go full pick me.

malia had an onlyfans, yes. she did technically lie in her response to a hater who said she had one. however, no one is owed an explanation to if and why she had one. and secondly, this fandom is full of young fans. if she admitted she had one, yall would just call her a creep that's promoting sex to minors or whatever. and clearly if she actually posted anything of her nude, it would be online. bc.. like these losers pointed out, the videos she did of her modelling bikinis for some brand got put on porn sites by creepy dudes. none of them are of her nude tho. it's just her in a bikini which surprise surprise isn't porn.

she got work done but liked a comment that called her a natural beauty….. do these fans really think they ate pointing this out?? she is naturally pretty, she just got some work done. again, would you harp on shea liking a comment that says that? or amber? or stas?? or how about a woman that's wearing makeup or a push up bra??

these fans really think they have her in this gotcha moment when reality is…. all they're doing it pointing out how pathetic they look. yeah babes, you're totally right. malia is a slutty porn star who got work done… and colby STILL decided to date her. you know why? bc he doesn't care. and you do… and yet here you are… still not getting the attention from colby you think you deserve. even if you were the last person on earth colby wouldn't choose you. and for all the hate you have for malia, you basically run a fan account for her since you know so much about her. but yeah… keep calling her a whore or whatever. you're doing such a good job at it lmao

i'll go thru the other ones these bozos pointed out fast:

colby likes his alone time, she made a tiktok saying she likes when guys are obsessive…. those don't even relate, but on top of that she made that vid before she was even DATING HIM

we have no proof malia made him unfollow anyone, they are just jumping to that conclusion

the cheating thing we now know is false

she didn't steal that hair color from amber………. are yall on crack? amber hasn't ever dyed her hair that color?? she uses a wig??? and just bc she wants to dye her hair a similar color doesn't mean malia copied. how would she have even known that?? jesus christ keep the schools open these kids are DUMB

the girls went to coachella a couple years ago or whatever but claimed the one they went to with snc was their first. oH mY gOd ThEy LiEd Or PoSsIbLy FoRgOt??? call the firing squad and line them up in the town square. burn the witches at the stake!!!!

malia called herself a slut and that's proof… she's a slut. sure. yeah. whatever you say, children. yall barely have had sex ed but please inform me how she's a slut. i'd love to hear it.

the girls in general are copying kat/amber. i mean… they literally aren't. they just cut and dyed their hair, two things NEITHER KAT OR AMBER HAVE DONE in a long time/ever. i would say you're grasping at straws but that would require there to be straws.

if you think malia or katelyn are bad ppl for having subscriptions about their lives where they might post their boyfriends, boy do i have news for you about shea and stas.

anything else they said is horseshit and tbh i'm over it. call me when the girls have been found guilty of something other than being kinda annoying and attention seeking on *gasp* the internet, of all places.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hello I wanted to talk to you about something. Would like to hear your opinion on it because I really respect it. So on Twitter Trumanblack was trening lately and I saw people being mad that truman Black came back.

Here's couple of tweets, to show you the perspective:

,He is escaping the reality through this character. Being sincere and open is the way to live life not hiding behing fictional characters. He needs to grow up and realize where his priorities are.

Ofc, we do not know him. His choice, his life.

Or

what the fuck happened matty. I don't understand what you're doing right now. should have left Truman in the trash. I don't get it.

Or

This. It seems he was used to dealing with difficult emotions through avoiding them in stage character (he admitted to this in an interview recently) & he wanted to ditch the character & embrace the emotions/be sincere things maybe got too raw & real so he is back in charakter

I'm sorry this message is so long. I'm just thinking about it all. Do you think 'matty' is gone and he will be acting and all that in the upcoming tour? Cause I wouldnt like it and it won't be good for him too :/

Again sorry this is so long

No, I mean, this is an interesting topic that I think we should 100% get into to "warm up" for the tour. I bet we'll have even more to say once we start getting content from the first new shows in September. (omg not too far away now aaaahhhh), so everyone feel free to chime in, but basically, here is how I think about it ( this is probs gonna be long. apologies in advance. im gonna add a "keep reading" so i dont destroy y'all feeds).

The first thing we need to remember is that Matty's "Truman Black" persona pre-dates the ATVB tour. He's always been "Truman Black." He's always been a jokester, a meme lord, a bit chaotic, a bit sexy, a pastiche or caricature of himself.

The question, then, is why? Why does he do this?

For several reasons. And he's been nothing but honest with us about them.

From as early on as 23 years old, when ST first started blowing up and the boys cultivated a following, Matty became acutely aware of the spotlight and the way that fans idealized and idolized him. Sexually desired him, saw him as this rockstar figure. And it made him uncomfortable because, well, no real human being could live up to such a fantasy, right? That's really what the song "Love Me" is about. He experienced this during album 1 and instantly wrote about it for album 2. like thats how strongly he felt it. He's more eloquent about it than I can ever be, so I'm going to link you to his explanation of "Love Me."

so, as he's pointing out in his explanation, he plays this kinda ridiculous character to "subvert" expectations. right? even in the mv, he has cardboard cut outs of sex symbols and heart throbs like Harry Styles etc. and he takes his shirt off and stands next to them and makes out with them and all that. Usually, the normal rockstar-fan relationship is that we project our fantasy upon the rockstar and the rockstar accepts it obligingly. But Matty's going "well this is really kinda silly, and it makes me feel sooo disconnected from myself if i turn into this person everyone thinks i am, so what am i gonna do? oh I'll just lean into the silliness." so if he can't do the "fake authenticity" of the cliched rockstar, hes gonna do a very authentic fakeness of being loud, and silly goofy funny messy larger than life, etc.

He explains it here (I've cued it up to the right moment in the video). He's right, if you're a stranger and you know nothing about him and you see him behaving in a Truman-black-esque way, you'd think "wow what an arrogant piece of shit this dude is." BUT if you realize that he's like "i KNOW that you all think of me this way. And YOU (the fans) know that I know that you think that way." we become in on the joke.

You know what im gonna say here. Postmodernism. LMAO. No, but for real. Postmodern art naturally has this "meta" habit. It's art that knows itself as art. It's aware that it's not real. Like movies that are constantly referring to themselves as movies. breaking the experience of illusion for you by constantly reminding you that what you are watching has been filmed and edited. it's not real life. Thats what Matty does with the "rockstar persona" constantly reminding you "it's not real. im just a character made up in all our heads. I'm actually a normal human being but my job is kinda fuckin mental."

So, I think those 4 points, from VERRRYYY early in Matty's career are the genesis of Truman Black. Thats what "Truman Black" is based on.

You could ask, well, if Matty has been this way from the very beginning how come it's such a problem now? how come this whole thing is a new issue??

I think its the perfect storm of this year.

The ATVB show was designed to push the blurry lines between Matty Healy/ Truman Black to their very limits cuz they added extra layers of meta-theatricality to an already meta situation haha. He plays himself in the couch scene, and the raw meat scene, but he's also kind of playing a symbolic version of himself that's supposed to apply to a lot of straight men, but then the show is also about the lines between his personal and his public lives.

Then he goes and does the Truman Black rockstar shit in the second half of the show. So, the tour really could've been called "Matty Healy: At His Very Truman Black-esque" and it would have been accurate. Like he took this concept and stretched it to see how far it could take him.

Then of course you have the podcast thing, the taylor swift thing, the twitter cancelation cycles, etc etc etc.

There were so many new eyes on him. and so much out of context (remember, meta-theatricality needs context. needs the audience to be in on the joke. we have to know 'oh hes making fun of himself being a rockstar') cuz if we don't have the context he really comes off as a guy who's in love with himself and his rockstar status haha.

Now that alllll of this background is out of the way, lets discuss the questions that you've brought up.

Is he Matty or is he Truman Black?

I think lots of people didn't notice that when he threw out the lab coat that was labeled "truman black" in the video, he wasn't serious. he instantly starts doing the robot dance, flipping the camera off with his finger, acting disruptive by riding the trolley thingy. All Truman Black behavior: mischief, breaking rules, etc. so it was a "meta" joke. he tossed the character then acted like the character. a contradiction. ironic. Truman Black's never been gone! he and Matty are intertwined necessarily. you can't separate one from the other.

Is he gonna be acting at all in S...ATVB?

Yes. He will. He's working with Brad Troemel whose sense of humor is very close to Matty's and who loves irony and postmodernism.

Does he use Truman Black to "hide from difficult situations" or to "run from his emotions" or whatever that tweet was saying? no. He uses it to deliver social critique. About masculinity being ridiculous, about our relationship to artists and the fantasy of perfection in Rockstar cliches, about performative wokeness.

Those are the very same beliefs that Matty Healy believes in. hes always criticizing these things in interviews and speeches and stuff. So, no, hes not hiding behind the character to disassociate he IS the same guy, just a slightly less dramatized and exaggerated version.Thats why he doesn't completely turn it on or off at any time. Thats why it's not that he was willing to stop it for a relationship and then start it again when it didn't work out. Thats not how Matty operates at allll.

He didn't throw out his belief that performative wokeness is harmful and stupid, he didn't throw out his belief that leftist masculinity is confusing, he didn't change who he is at his very core just to be mr nice guy, or to be sincere, or to get his dick sucked off by Taylor Swift, or whatever these people think is the reason. He's always been this way; he very likely will always be this way. Thats just how he makes art and how he thinks about the world.

He's always BEEN open to embracing emotions and being sincere. "I love you, don't you mind?" "we're only human we're just like you man" "I'll quote on the road like a twat," "im petrified of being alone, its pathetic," "im just pissed off because you pied me off after your show," "you pick a fight and i'll define it" "i said its cool i was messing but its true," "pretend that i know what it is (i wasn't listening)" "sorry that I quite like seeing myself on the news. im sorry that im someone that i wish i could change, but ive always been the same."

would an emotionally stunted anti-sincerity guy write ANY OF THESE LYRICS? idk, you tell me.