#I made all this ridiculous shit up but now that I read it I'm kinda proud of it

[sstardustt3]

Johnny cade headcannonsss

Authors notes- um so my writers block is gone (yipeee) and I decided that from now on this is just going to be a general writing account instead of something focused exclusively on one fandom (I'm still gonna do creepypasta stuff dw) but I didn't realize how much writing for one singular thing burns the fuck out of you so I'm doing this because it's much more easier and I'm gonna upload more because I'm on summer break. Anyways I'm on an outsiders kick rn so this is the result of it

tags/ warnings- mentions of abuse, johnny being a gossip whore, angst, fluff, johnny thinking negatively about himself, brief mention of romance, someone please give him a hug-

-Johnny is really fucking strong despite looking kinda scrawny but he believes no one when they tell him this (he thinks they're just trying to make him more confidant)

-If he did have a s/o then nine times out of then they've asked him to carry them everywhere

-he hates physical contact he can't stand it especially if he's not ready for it like if you hug him from behind. mostly because everytime someone touches him it's to hurt him but also another is because he just hates being surprised

-his body is so unbelievably cold all the time that even if there was a heat wave in the area at like 120*f he would still feel like he's on the brink of dying from hypothermia

-something he picked up from Dally is being rude to people for like no reason he doesn't even do it intentionally he just kinda says the most outlandish rude shit about people and does not even realize it

-adding onto things he's picked up from hanging with dally is how to talk to girls, contrary to popular belief he's actually not (completely) clueless with girls and he can sweet talk if he really wants to (he starts off stumbling like an idiot though)

-he's failling a good percentage of his classes for half the year because he figured that he wasn't gonna go far in life even if he didn't end up dead by 18 and his parents don't care about him enough to check his report cards

-at the end of the year the week before you can't do any more retakes and turn in late work he'll just do everything in one go because he doesn't really wanna be held back (he ends up passing with b's and c's)

-he's actually really good at making shit he has a drawer full of small little trinkets he's made in his spare time

-he learned how to make things to pass the time because before the gang he really didn't have friends and he didn't have a good excuse to go out anyway so he just locked himself in his room and began making things out of paper and rearranging action figures he stole from the junkyard or from second-hand stores

-more than half of his creations look like the shit Sid from toy story made

-he's so oblivous when people like him it's ridiculous and when he does realize they like him he just kinda is like "oh...oh...OH?!!!"

-even when he does like them back his first instance is to distance himself from them he thinks it's something that'll like pass

-he's dyslexic which is why he always makes Ponyboy do his English homework and read his homework to him in general

-adding onto the headcanon about him being cold all the time, for that very reason you'll never catch him out of him dead out of his jacket (well I guess that's not true bc he died without it but wtv)

-another reason is that he has a lot of scarring and bruises from his parents that he hates seeing

-dally was the first person to meet Johnny and he was kinda like "damn look at that little possum...it's coming home with me" and when he asked Johnny his name he had mumbled it so when he said it it sounded like Johnny cakes so for like half a year dally called him that before randomly correcting him

"yeah, so johnny cakes here-"

"Johnny Cade."

"huh? What you say, little man?"

"My name's Johnny Cade, not Johnny Cakes."

"..."

"..."

"are you serious-"

-Johnny's a gossip whore whether he admits it or not. the perks of being quiet and going unnoticed is that people will say there business loud and proud in front of you because they have forgotten you were even there.

-he will without a doubt tell Ponyboy after.

-and since Ponyboy has little to no understanding of the meaning of keeping things to himself he will in fact tell the rest of the gang

*requests for hcs/ or fics are always welcome*

[kteezy997]

Friends to Lovers//t.c.

Information: reader with a mid-sized body type

Warnings: some angst, little fluff- I guess, smut, fingering, female receiving oral sex-kinda, nipple play, creampie

It’s kind of a long read, get a drink and a snack, if you wish🩷

One evening, your friends were trying to tell you that Timmy was in love with you. But there simply was no way it was true! Number one, you were friends. Number two, you were nowhere near his type. You had a mid-size body, and Timmy was used to dating, and screwing, women with thin, perfect bodies. You knew that he would never see you in a romantic or sexual light. You had grown to accept it and be okay with it.

Deep down, you had always had feelings for him, but you kept them buried for so long that you often forgot they were even there. You always laughed and had a lot of fun with Timmy. He was such a great person, and you were glad to have him in your life, even if it was just as a friend. Even if it could never be anything more.

You always heard the saying, “if he wanted to, he would.” And Timothée never made a move outside of your friendship, so you knew he wasn’t interested in you as anything but.

"Timmy is not in love with me!" you insisted to your two friends that were in your apartment, arguing otherwise with you.

"But he is! So in love." Sophie claimed.

Olivia chimed in as well, "He loves everything about you: your body, your voice, your hair, he already knows your amazing personality. That's how he fell in love with you, by being friends first."

"Now he's hopelessly in love.” Sophie said, "Everyone of our friends knows, and you're the only one that's blind to it."

“Yeah, he wants to kiss you; he wants to touch your private parts, y/n.” Olivia said.

You had to laugh.

“You can’t deprive the man any longer.” Olivia pointed out, crossing her arms defiantly.

“It’s so obvious! We can’t take it anymore.” blurted Sophie.

You scoffed at their false claims, "Okay, this is just ridiculous, I'm going to have to prove you both wrong." You marched across your apartment, putting some shoes on and grabbing your purse.

"Wait, what are you doing?!" Olivia asked.

"I'm going over to his apartment and he's going to deny all of this, because he does not see me like that! You two are full of shit!”

...........

You knocked on Timmy's door.

"Hey, hold on!" you heard him call from the inside.

"Timmy, I have to talk to you!" you said to him from the other side of the door.

The door opened, Timmy stood there, shirtless, and said, "Y/n? Are you okay?" there was genuine worry in his voice.

You looked ahead into his apartment, behind him several feet away there was a blonde woman getting dressed. Oh shit!

"Oh, you're...not alone. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have just barged in." you said, turning away to leave.

"Hey, whoa, whoa," he followed you, touching your arm to stop you, "you're not barging in, what's up?" He narrowed his eyes at you.

"Nothing, it was stupid anyways. Let's just forget about it." you said, waving your hand, embarrassed, brushing the reasoning away. "I'll see you later, Timmy. Sorry again, for intruding on your evening." You left without letting him say anything else.

You'd been lying to yourself if you said that you were glad that he wasn't interested in you. A tiny part of you had hope that he would want to be with you. You hoped what your friends were talking about was true.

The feelings you buried had been unearthed, just for a moment. But now, it was time to cover them up again, and go on like nothing had been said. It was for the best.

…….

There was a knock on your door about an hour after you had gotten home. It was getting late, so you were surprised someone had even knocked.

Timmy was on the other side of the door, to your surprise. "Hey, can we talk?" he asked, nervously. He looked cute, messy curls spilling out under his baseball cap, wearing a big sweatshirt and his hands in the pocket.

"I mean, yeah Timmy, but you didn't have to cancel your date. You didn’t have to come here. I'm fine, it's no big deal."

"No, no. Tell me, why did you need to talk to me earlier? I think I might have an idea why but tell me." he pursued, letting himself into your apartment.

"You might have an idea? What does that mean?" you frowned, following him, expecting him to raid your pantry for a snack like he always did when he came over. You did your best to keep his favorites on hand.

"Stop stalling, y/n, and tell me." he leaned against your kitchen counter.

Okay, no food, no distraction. "Okay, okay,” you said, ready to get this silly situation over with, “Sophie and Olivia were trying to tell me that you are in love with me, and I got sick of it because there's just no way! So I went to your place to hear the truth from you, but turns out that you didn't even need to say anything because you were with some woman-"

"They were right." he said bluntly.

"See? It's just so weird that they would say-wait, what?" your heart started to pound. You could not believe what you heard. You looked at him in shock, waiting for him to say something else. Maybe you just misheard him?

"They are right, y/n." Timmy took a step toward you, he reached out and took your hand.

His hand was warm to the touch, so comforting.

"I love you. I always have. I just never say anything because I didn't think you'd feel the same way, and I didn't want to lose you as my friend.”

Okay, you had heard him right. But was he absolutely serious?

"Timmy, is that true? You're not playing with me?"

"No," he frowned at you, shaking his head, "I would never lie about this. Look, if you don't feel the same way towards me, it's okay. We can just go back to being friends like nothing happ-"

You cut him off with a kiss: something you never thought you'd do. You put your hand on the back of his head, and stood on your tiptoes, as he was quite a bit taller than you.

The bill of his hat got in the way, hitting you on top of the head. You both laughed and he took the hat off tossing it onto the counter.

Timmy then pulled you close to him, his hands resting on your lower back. He kissed you firmly, moaning into it. He opened his mouth, teasing your tongue with his, inviting you in.

You let his tongue swirl yours lovingly. You let out a little moan when he took your face in his hands, pulled away from your lips and kissed your cheek, then the other, and followed with a kiss on your forehead.

He looked into your eyes, smiling sweetly.

You giggled with glee. Your adrenaline had subsided, and your heart swelled. You couldn't think of any words to say, he had taken away your ability to think at the moment. "Timmy I-"

"No, no we don't have to talk right now." he whispered, touching your lips, his voice hoarse from the kiss.

........

Timmy had picked you up and carried you to your bedroom. He tossed you onto the bed, making you giggle. He had a smirk on his face as he removed his baggy sweatshirt. He watched you as you started to undress as well.

You weren't afraid to be bold and take your top and pants off. You were glad you had picked a cute, matching bra and pantie set.

He looked like he was in awe, which was a big boost to your confidence. He took his pants off quickly and kneeled in front of you.

You were sitting on the edge of the bed, and Timmy placed his hands on your thighs. You shivered as he pressed kisses there. His wet lips, the stubble on his chin, his long fingers kneading your fleshy thighs, it was delightful. You threw your hands into his hair. You had secretly wanted to play with Timmy's hair since you had known him. Now, you could do whatever you wanted.

And so could he. Timmy pushed your legs apart. He noticed the little wet patch on the crotch of your panties. He looked up at you for a second before dipping down between your legs and licking that wet spot.

You whimpered at the feeling, so invasive, so intimate, but you were still concealed to him. It was so hot, seeing his messy curls between your legs.

Timmy hooked his fingers into the sides of your underwear, and as he pulled them down, you laid back. His locked into your gaze, and your legs were brought upward, your feet landing softly on his chest. He shook his head, running his fingers threw his tousled mane. He grabbed your ankles, and he left a trail of kisses up your leg, moving downward with each one until he hovered just above you.

"I can't believe you haven't known until now." Timmy remarked. Little ringlets fell downward as he looked at you from above.

"I didn't... think I'd be your type." you admitted.

He chuckled, "Y/n, you're so beautiful to me, I've always told you that." he tucked your hair behind your ear.

"Well yeah, but I thought you were just being a sweet friend. I didn't know that you'd actually be attracted to me. I mean, I'm not for everybody." you shrugged. You weren’t insecure, necessarily, but you knew that some people would not deem your body type as beautiful or particularly appealing.

"I think you are sorely mistaken. I've heard so many guys thirst over you." he shook his head and blushed, "Me included."

"You want me? Timmy, you really want me?" you implored. You just wanted him to say it.

"Yes, I want you, I need you. Fuck." he kissed you hard, throwing his hands in your hair, grabbing your head. One hand tucked around your throat. He softly rocked his crotch into you.

You felt his hard cock against your thighs. You had to touch it. You reached down and palmed him through his boxers, moaning as his length filled up your hand. "Ugh, I want you to fuck me."

Timmy held your jaw, "Oh, you want me to fuck you?"

You nodded against his hand. You squeezed his cock gently.

"Mmm," he groaned in response, "You wet for me, baby?" he dipped his finger into your folds sliding them over your clit.

"Ah! Fuck." you clenched your eyes shut.

"I'll take that as a yes." he said just before he inserted a finger into you. He started pumping slowly. But gradually quickened his pace, and introduced another finger.

You arched your back, and grabbed his wrist as he fucked you with his fingers. "Timothee." you breathed out his name.

He removed his fingers but kept them on your clit, softly rubbing circles there and he leaned down to capture your lips in a kiss. He pulled away, instructing, "Take your bra off."

You quickly reached behind you, unhooked your bra, and tossed it away.

Timmy's eyes went to your tits instantly. One hand stayed on your pussy and the other went to your breast. He licked his lips, then put them on your hard nipple. He ran his tongue around it and sucked it into his mouth, moaning on your tit. He bit down, pinching the sensitive bud.

You whimpered as his attack on your nipple sent throbbing sensations to your pussy. You were eager for more, you licked your hand, and put it around his cock. You stroked him as he continued to suck your nipples all while giving your clit attention.

He slid a finger in again, hitting your g-spot. You rutted your hips forward onto his fingers. You tried to stroke his cock, but you couldn't keep a steady rhythm. You felt the tension building inside of you.

"Don't stop. I'm close, Timmy, please don't stop!" you cried. The stimulation was too much.

Timmy flicked his fingers inside of you faster and used his other hand to pinch your nipple.

You thought you might burst, "Fuck!" You shook a little and your legs clasped onto his arm that was between them. You shifted onto your side, panting heavily.

Timmy rolled you back over, so he could get between your thighs. He tucked your legs over his hips and slid his cock into you.

Your toes curled as he entered you fully. You gripped your sheets.

He found a rhythm and fucked you hard. His waistline bucked against your wetness, leaving smacking sounds throughout the bedroom. He put his hands on your waist, holding onto your love-handles.

“Oh my god!” you cried, writhing in pleasure, arching your back to meet his thrusts. You put your hands on his abdomen. His skin was hot, but smooth, and his muscles rippled as he fucked you. He had to smooth his hair back out of his face now and then.

After a while, he angled his legs to fuck into you at a higher protectory. His tip was able to hit you deeper.

You held onto your own legs as Timmy used you as an anchor. He rutted into you as fast as he could muster.

"Ah, fuck." he muttered. Sweat dripped from his brow, he closed his eyes, shooting his cum into you. He groaned as his balls were emptied, and he crashed onto you.

You wrapped your arms around his spent body. Your skin stuck to his in a shiny layer of sweat. His cock softened inside of you; you felt his warm cum leaking out.

Timmy nuzzled into your neck, leaving little kisses on your skin. His hand grazed over your hair as he regained control of his breath.

........

You both cleaned up with a hot bubble bath. Timmy dried you off and you got into bed together, naked.

"So, you just left that girl to come see me?" you asked, facing him.

He looked at you oddly, "Yeah, of course. I'd pick you over anyone."

"Well, that was before you even knew that I liked you back." you pointed out.

He cocked his head slightly, "Hmm, I'm still not even sure if you like me."

You giggled, smacking him playfully, "But really, you like me that much, to risk losing someone else?"

"Y/n, no one compares to you." he said, but then cringed at his own words, "God, that was corny."

"No," you laughed, "I could tell that you meant it. And I really like you too, Timothee Hal." You declared your feelings, once and for all and crawled onto your lover. You felt him hug your body and he kissed you deeply.

A/N: how are we all doing after the golden globes? are we okay? if y'all need to talk, I'll be here. We'll get through this together! lol much love XX

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss

@bitchyunknownuser @lixzey @kpopgirlbtssvt

[pseudophan]

some post wad weekend thoughts...

i just wrote all this on the plane and haven't read it through so apologies for any mistakes

first of all, this weekend was incredible. i usually just kinda sit at home doing not much of anything, and this was a much needed break to actually have some fun. london in general always lifts my spirits but i suppose that danisnotonfire guy contributed a little as well.

guys i think i've met more people the past few days than i otherwise have in years. like. holy shit. i started listing people but i'm petrified i'll forget someone so i chickened out, sorry about that. but you all know who you are. i've met friends i've had for years, people i used to know but haven't spoken to in what feels like a decade, newer friends, and a frankly baffling amount of people i didn't know yet but who told me they've followed me for ages. like holy fuck you guys lmao what the hell??? and i mean did the reaction ever get old no of course it didn't. bad for my ego i'm sure but totally worth it. there's something very amusing and incredibly surreal about being chronically lame in most aspects of life and then suddenly finding yourself in an environment where you're kinda cool???? SO fucking fun oh my god, but also i do kinda feel like i've tricked you all? but hey i'll happily let you keep believing i'm cool, that is more than fine with me.

most importantly though everyone was SO lovely. like i said i don't think i've spoken to this many people in such a short amount of time in years and every single person i talked to was awesome. guys did you know phannies are kind of great... don't tell anyone but, lowkey... everyone is so funny and cool and absolutely insane but in a good way (shoutout everyone left at the gates until the very end, we should probably get some help).

and then lastly of course, mr howell himself. i talk about this a lot i feel like but fuck me that man was born to perform. whether you think he's actually funny or not, nobody can argue he doesn't absolutely thrive on a stage. he plays off the audience so well and he's so very obviously having the time of his fucking life. i'd already seen the show twice before this, and i didn't think anything would top the previous london show but man... the first night he came back out after the show having clearly been tearing up backstage, apologising for being an inconsistent absent parent, and i can't lie the "i had daddy issues and THEN i subscribed to dan howell" got me cause yeah no literally dude, you nailed it, exactly, well done. i think something about doing this show again, his magnum opus as he considers it, now after the dapg return was very special to him. he seems genuinely surprised that so many of us were ready to just jump back in like nothing happened, i don't think he was expecting so many people to still be waiting and it's... man. he comes off so grateful for us all and it's so fucking sweet. and then on the last night, i think that was my favourite, when the show ended and he got the standing ovation and people throwing him flowers.. he was so HAPPY. and clearly overwhelmed with emotion which, i gotta say, there is something honestly kinda funny about daniel howell standing in front of you trying not to cry. like no by all means dude go ahead, please, you've made me cry an endless amount of times it's only fair.

ugh. i'm proud of him or whatever. dick. and i'm proud of our ridiculous fucking community. i'm not sure what 14 year old nora would say if you'd told me i'd still be kicking it in the phandom a decade on, but at almost 25 (fml) i'm so so happy to be here still. you know, we get a bad rep, but i genuinely think as far as fanbases go we're pretty solid. and i love you all so much.

i believe i will have to rob a bank or something because the next time dan and/or phil do a tour i think i'll have to just show up at every date like i'm sorry but this was too good of a high we need to do it again immediately

anyway. back to work 💪

(by which i mean giffing dan and phil. i am still very much unemployed. fr though i'm two whole videos behind this has never happened i feel weird. who am i)

[saeist]

helloo i just read ur itoshi brothers hc and I LOVE LOVE LOVE ITTTT the concept is so cute istg I NEED A PART 2 🫀

i decided to merge both of these asks into one since they're kinda the same premise anyway so this will be a self insert of your own blue lock boy! so that'll mean (bl/p) = blue lock player! also pretty much rin centered 😘

honestly speaking, the only one who'll ever have a problem with you dating is rin tbh. i mean, sae would also bitch about you dating at your age but it's not the same kind of bitching like rin's (💀)

rin would 100% pop a vein vessel when he finds out you're dating one of his peers from blue lock. there's no debate to it. he will quite literally lose his shit.

because first of all, those little blue lock boys that are on rin's palm literally made a scouts honor (rin basically forced them tbh) that they will not be interact with you even if it meant life or death. second of all, i've said this multiple times but it's true, they're gonna get it from rin. he does not give a single fuck if they were teammates, on the same team, literally even if they were roommates with him. rin will absolutely "devour" and "kill" them on and off the field.

so the u-20 vs blue lock match comes rolling in. it currently halftime and all players (including rin) were taking a short break and drinking water while discussing with ego about their plan for the next half of the match.

on the corner of rin's eye, he notices a player walk up to the stands, near where the VIP's were seated. he was about to call them out for not listening to the upcoming game plan but instead he was met with you, his sister, his own blood relative, wiping the sweat off the player's face with a ridiculous smile on your face.

"y/n, what the fuck!" you hear someone complain. you looked up and look who's stomping on the way to you? that's right! it's rin! with his infamous scowl.

"rin-nii~ hi!" you chirped, waving your hand at him. rin stops and whips his head towards (bl/p), glaring at them with the nastiest look on rin's face you've ever seen

"what the fuck is this about, (bl/p)? do you have a deathwish or something?" rin starts to nag. a little too loud for your liking tbh. because all the other players (including u20 btw) are now looking at the commotion.

seeing you looking all lost and confused in between rin and a blue lock player sae has never even heard of, he decides to intervene.

"what's this about, y/n?" you hear sae ask, walking over to you, rin and your boyfriend.

"sae-nii! hi! rin is scaring my boyfriend" you pout, motioning your hands to your boyfriend and rin bickering. sae was about to open his mouth to say something before he whips your head at the speed of light the moment the word 'boyfriend' escaped your lips

you. had. a. boyfriend?

"what did you just say?" sae repeats, putting a hand on his ear as if that would change the shit you just said. sae immediately diverts his attention to your boyfriend and rin. your eyes widened at the realization the both of your brothers were (if not) about to team up for once in their life and quite literally devour your poor boyfriend.

but it seems like luck was with your boyfriend that day. the referees just blew their whistle, indicating it was time for the other half of the match just right before sae opened his mouth.

your boyfriend sighs in relief and jogs over to the rest of the blue lock team with rin in tow. but before rin and sae go back to their respective teams, they both turn around to face you and motioned the "i'm watching you" sign. rolling your eyes, you waved both of them off.

it’s gonna be one hell of an earful at your shared itoshi gc later

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

Could you explain your definition of “animation brats” better? I found your original explanation to be very unwieldy and incoherent. It seems like you relied heavily on people already agreeing with some pretty extreme claims about the correct ways to enjoy media and about how a very broad, generalized group of people think about the media that they watch. I think you tried to throw a lot of things you hate about other people enjoying media that you don’t into it, and therefore it just read as more of a list of things that you hate seeing other people do, rather than a real definition of the term. It came off simultaneously as ridiculously specific in the areas where you were just ranting about shit you hate other people enjoying. But WAY too generalized about defining the actual group of people that you claim possess those traits. Which created an utterly bizarre definition of the term in which seemingly a VERY specific person was being criticized, but one who at the same time ALSO somehow belonged to an extremely nebulous, wide-ranging group of people.

...in the spirit of you taking the time to actually explain yourself as the opposition-even in bad faith-i'll indulge the question and get a little more specific in what "Animation Brat" actually means because I did just kinda brain to hand that last explanation and didn't take it seriously.

Animation Brats fatal flaws are superficiality and a refusal to admit said superficiality.

There are movies and TV shows I like because they're stylized in a way I enjoy but there's little else to them. There are movies and TV I like because they're nostalgic, or their themes personally resonate with me and I'm willing to look past problems to enjoy them.

What I won't do is lie about that and pretend like those things are secret masterpieces that no one else gets unless I can provide strong evidence to prove that fact.

Unless there's a deeper reason to like a movie or show like it's themes being well written and important, or it's characters being complex and nuanced, or it's plot being tight and engaging.

Animation Brats won't go into anything with that nuance because there's this underlying insecurity about liking cartoons they never worked past. They can't just admit they like something because it looks pretty or because they just personally like an idea they explore.

Suddenly every shallow theme must be insanely complex, every character must be incredibly nuanced and rich and every script must be made of gold.

But the arguments never actually go past "it's really good and if you don't like it fuck you" because they won't think through their own critical process.

This is also where the love of superficially dark stroytelling in kids shows comes from. Now admittedly this is an issue for both the consumer AND the creator because more and more show runners are leaning into being "dark"...for a kids show. Everything will be caked in metaphor because you obviously can't talk about things like war and genocide in kids shows, but people will take that as just further proof that the work is "deep". Because the metaphor is there. And the metaphor is for something dark. And kids can't handle dark things and kids can't understand metaphors so this work must be for more than kids. In fact it's not even for kids. It's for them.

They don't think further than "dark subject metaphor=great writing". It's why Animation Brats tend to get hung up on the same few cartoons and animated films. Because those are the only ones that let them play off their shallow enjoyment and/or refusal to take critical thinking seriously off as genuinely thought through sentiments.

And all of this is only a problem because they won't leave other people alone who either see through it or just don't care about it.

You don't need to prove everything you've ever liked is actually super deep and actually perfect, you can just like something...unless you're an animation brat. Then it's your life and opposition is a personal attack.

[vacantgodling]

Hi, I hate to be a bother but is chapter 1 of Paramour (hope I'm spelling that right) the only chapter you've shared or are there more posted? your writing is so good and I've fallen in love with the story after seeing your anniversary art. Also, do you post it anywhere outside of Tumblr? unfortunately, the color scheme of your blog and the size of the font makes it hard for my poor eyesight to read (No hate to you btw I just zoom in real close)

hello hello!! firstly you are not at ALL a bother <3 (also you're spelling it right lol) regarding my desktop blog, i bumped up the font size so i hope that's helped it be a bit more readable? i'm planning on changing up color schemes and the like at the end of this year, but i hope the size change makes it more bearable ;3;

secondly, hearing that people like my writing enough to want to seek more of it has me giggling and kicking my feet so THANK YOU for enjoying chapter 1 and the art so much--there's some details that may or may not get added in whenever i eventually make a third pass at writing this behemoth and i spent 6 hours slaving over that drawing LMAO SO i really appreciate you reading it AND telling me you enjoyed it im so EEEE

at this time, i'm not formally publishing / putting out paramour because its still very much a work-in-progress (essentially, i'm working on draft 2 right now bc i'm doing some major outline renovating, but tbh i'm thinking that when i DO feel like i'm at the point that i want to publish it, i'm kinda leaning towards a serial style like @/stjohnstarling's what manner of man... but those are details for several years from now, i'm just rambling at this point) BUT FEAR NOT!! its my main obsession at all times and i have posted a TON about it on my blog. but for your convenience, i've compiled all the 'main' writing bits that i've posted on this blog over the past several years into this ask so that way if you wanna just read the 'main' meat and potatoes that i've decided to release from the vault so to speak... then here they are.

but, if in general you want to peruse my main wip tag, i talk about paramour so much its Ridiculous lmao -> s: paramour and you can check out the overview powerpoint intro i made for it here, just to get a clearer picture of what the heckie is going on lol -> powerpoint intro

anyway though, the list of main writings, broken into a couple of sections. i will also preface, that chapter 1 doesn't make it too apparent--but there is a LOT of sex, kink, and romance involved in this story. so proceed at your own disgression dear anon since i'm not sure how you feel about that lol.

MAIN WIP WRITINGS (in chronological story order)

paramour draft 2 chapter 1: pre-wedding

paramour (title drop 👀 but this scene is gonna end up slightly different in draft 2)

midnight query (amon and erecia talk in some undetermined chapter)

the bird & the worm (flashback to amon at 12)

but i am not (a bit from chapter 9 of draft 1)

masquerade (the first time hya and amon fuck—there is smut proceed with caution. also the latter half of chapter 9 draft 1)

an invitation (excerpt from chapter 10 draft 1)

displeasure (a relationship snippet from an undetermined chapter)

nervous (just hya and amon being kinky)

ties that bind (kink interrupted by feelings from some undetermined chapter)

divine (some sappy shit from an undetermined chapter)

hiccup (excerpt from chapter 20 of draft 1)

AUS & JUST FOR FUNZIES (meaning not in the main wip)

jealousy (amon & hya slums au—where both of them grow up in central halifax)

pleasure (amon’s birthday present 2023-> this is sex/smut so proceed with caution)

a fool’s errand (role swap au—aka the au where amon is rich and hya is the butler)

laundry (role swap au)

wedding invitation (role swap au—amon being friends with myrtus makes me insane actually)

i know what you’re saying (amon & hya slums au)

[barry-j-blupjeans]

TAZ NC Day 9: Your Job AU

@taznovembercelebration

Look. Look. The chances of running into someone else who knew magic were very, very small. Lup understood that. Magic, while great, tended to be isolating. She was incredibly lucky to have Taako. Lup couldn't imagine what it was like to grow up not knowing what was wrong with you— maybe not ever knowing there wasn't anything wrong with you. If it hadn't been for their tía, Lup wasn't sure if she would have ever accepted that part of herself.

Yes, magic was rare. Yes, it wasn't typically used in public.

And yes, she was ninety-nine percent sure that this Office Depot employee was magic.

It was just— okay maybe Lup was biased in her belief that you had to be a little magic to be able to work retail. Like, there was no way anyone was getting through that shit with no magic whatsoever. But Lup had been here for exactly ten minutes while Magnus went around looking for a new desk and there was definitely some kind of magic here.

The employee at the print counter had been doing nothing but sorting paper since she got here. Maybe it was a slow day, because while Lup wasn't sure what the print center did, it was probably more than just sorting papers. But this guy had been at it for ten minutes straight, easily separating different types of paper (which all looked the same!) into several different piles. It was getting ridiculous at this point. He was barely even looking at the paper while he did this. There had to be some kind of tomfuckery going on.

Lup looked over her shoulder. There was a lady further into the store browsing through different file folders and she could barely see the top of Magnus's head over the shelves, looking at the desk displays in the back. With the coast clear, she made her way over to the print counter, leaning up against it. The employee had ducked under the counter a second ago, a stack of paper in his hands.

When he rose back up, he jumped slightly upon seeing her and said,

"Oh shi—" He coughed, cutting himself off. His name tag was shiny and had a skull sticker (?) attached to it. It read, Barry and then, on the line below it, I love printing banners! "How, uh— how can I help you?"

"Do you really love printing banners?" Lup asked, instead of the magic-related words she wanted to say.

Barry's eyebrows raised a little. "Love it," he said. Lup gave him a look. "Yeah, nah. I— banners suck. Unless you want to get a banner—?"

"I'm good," Lup said, not knowing what she would even use a banner for right now. "I was just— I came with my friend to look at desks but that's super fuckin' boring—" Barry nodded. "— so I've just kinda been walking around."

If Barry had seen here crouching behind the boxes of paper and staring at her, he didn't say anything.

"And then I was wondering what, uh— what kinda paper options you have. Forrrrr. Printing. On papers."

Lup was so good at this. Barry's lips quirked up into a little smile.

"Depends on what you're wanting to print," he said.

"Forms? No. Photo…graphs. Photographs."

"Well," Barry said, wisely choosing to not question the mess that Lup had just made with her mouth. "Usually for photographs, we've got, uhm— glossier options? Hang on." He ducked back under the counter and returned a second later with two pieces of very shiny paper. "Eight point," he said, handing her one. "Ten point." He handed her the other.

These were the same paper. These were a hundred percent the same paper. If Lup had doubted her reasoning before, she knew now. Either this guy was fucking with her or he had wizardly magics to tell them apart.

"What's, uh, what's the difference?"

"This one's thicker," Barry said, pointing to the ten point.

It wasn't. It really wasn't. Lup weighed them in her hands. There had to be some kinda spell to tell the difference, right? Or maybe this guy was just magically attuned to paper? That was probably a thing that happened. Probably. Like Merle's thing with plants.

Actually, Lup really, really hoped it wasn't like Merle's thing with plants.

"It's hard to tell," Barry said comfortingly in Lup's silence.

"I can tell," Lup said, like a liar. She had to let this guy know she was in on the secret somehow. But he didn't seem to pick up on it. Or, if he did, it was hidden behind the customer service mask. This was getting her nowhere. But she couldn't just straight up ask this guy if he had magic. That'd be weird.

"So, uh, do you have a prefe—"

"Are you magic," Lup interrupted.

"Am I… magic?" Barry repeated.

Lup looked over her shoulder, toward the desk displays. Magnus was currently with another employee, showing them a picture of something on his phone. Probably his dogs. Or his office, if he had managed to stay on track. Lup looked back to Barry and set the papers down. She held out her hand and summoned a flame.

"Ah." Lup wasn't good at reading people, but there was something in Barry's expression that made her think he understood. Or maybe it was the customer service mask again. "That is— that's a fire hazard, ma'am."

[fangaminghell]

Ava Alone

Summary: Ava finds herself alone after the fall. She has a lot to think about.

Notes: Several things! 1) POKEMON DESOLATION SPOILERS AHEAD DON'T READ IF YOUR UNFAMILIAR WITH THE GAME!!! 2) This fic takes place within my own version of events of desolation, where things are extended more. The player takes like. A week to climb down that Silver Rise, bc it's a fucking mountain. Of course that's subject to change, but for the sake of this fic, that's the case. 3) I dunno if this would be ooc for Ava or not lol. I'm kinda using my own hcs here and 4) Asra is my protag oc! i think that's everything so I hope you enjoy!

~~~~~

Her landing wasn’t exactly painless, but thankfully, it was painful either. How she survived the fall, she doesn’t know, and honestly, she doesn’t want to know. The first thing she clocked in was that Asra wasn’t there. Asra wasn’t there. A panic starts to settle in her stomach as she forces herself up from the ground, wincing as she does, and her head turns left and right in hopes that she can find her best friend….but nothing. 

Ava frowns, just now realizing exactly where she is. Well….it certainly isn’t the sky. Trees and grass are all she can see...shit did she fall in the middle of some woods? 

“Great,” she mumbles to herself, fully picking herself off the ground and trying to once again, take in her surroundings. She can’t exactly complain about her landing spot - it’s a goddamn forest, her element really - and she could be lying if she said it wasn’t just a bit cozy. She didn;t sense an immediate danger, and the serenity of it all was peaceful. 

“Welp,” she mutters, “ Where do I go from here?”

She starts to walk, wincing a bit as she realizes- for what seems to be the millionth realization today - that her body was more roughed up than she initially thought. But it’s whatever. She can deal with it. So she keeps trudging on…

~~~~~

Addenfall is a nice place, Ava decided. A small community with nice people in a nice area - what more do you want? The minute she showed up in the town, she was immediately taken to the pokemon center to heal up - both her and her pokemon. She insisted that she was fine, but they pretty much forced her to rest, which. Sure. Whatever. Not like Asra is still out there somewhere and she’s not looking for them. It’s not like Asra, for all she knows, could be dead-

Her breath hitches, and she rubs two fingers against the bridge of her nose. Okay. Maybe…maybe rest sounds like a good idea. She needs to get her thoughts in order. She needs to think of a plan.

“ Alright Ava, recount the steps. How did you get here?” 

She closes her eyes, and thinks back to the events leading up to now. They just got a way to get to Cellia….they took the Jinx teleporter and….

Ava’s eyes shot wide open, and a wave of anger crashes into her. Scarlett was there. Scarlett sided with those…fucking lunatics! And for what? A stupid dream? Those people almost killed her! And she had the fucking gall to-

“ You know what? I’m done thinking,”Ava huffs, turning aside in the bed Nurse Joy gave her. She forces her eyes shut, not letting herself even think of that girl she once called her friend. She doesn’t deserve that title. Not anymore.

~~~~~

It’s been a few days. Still no Asra. Once she was given the okay by Nurse Joy, she immediately started searching. With the help of her pokemon, she pretty much looked through the entirety of Addenfall Woods - nothing. The scary thought that Asra might be dead was growing louder by the day and she just desperately wanted to be proven wrong. Or….or maybe Asra joined Team Cresent, too. Ava shakes her head- no that’s ridiculous. Asra isn’t like Scarlett. They at least have a good head on their shoulders. 

She sighs, taking a rest near a tree within the woods. She once again tries not to think of a familiar pinkette. Tries not to think of her face right before Ava fell.  Because it’s not worth it. She made her choice, so it isn’t worth it…….right?

Ava looks down at the back of her hands, resting on her knees. There’s a few more scraps there, from all the looking that she’s done for the past few days. Going from her fingers to her nails, a vibrant shade of green pops out. Oh right. Her nails. The nail polish chipped now, given everything that had happened to her for the past….week? God she doesn’t even know. She frowns at her nails- she doesn’t even like nail polish that much honestly. Why was she wearing it again?

“ Ava, stop squirming, you're going to smudge your nails!” Scarlett huffs, pointing the tiny nail brush at her. Ava rolls her eyes, looking at the hand in Scarlett’s. 

“ I can’t believe you two convinced me to wear this….” she says, looking down at her nails, most of which are now coated in green nail polish. She can hear Asra laugh lightly. 

“ Scarlett wanted us to match, somehow,” they say, and while they are behind her, Ava can feel their small smile on their face, “ Besides, you could have said no. We all know, you could have said no. But you didn’t~” 

Ava groans, resting her head on her non nail polished hand, “ Yeah yeah, you two are sooooo lucky I like the both of you,” she can’t exactly hide her smile, looking at Scarlett who’s smiling back.

“ It’ll be worth it, trust me!” she beams, then focusing back on Ava’s nails, “ Besides, it’s been foreeeeever since we had a makeover together! Even if it’s just nail polish!”

Scarlett finishes a nail, and examines it with her critical eye. After a few seconds, she nods, smiling. 

“ I just think it would be nice to bring something old to our new beginning. Don’t you think?”

“ Venusaur?” Ava jumps slightly at her pokemon’s cry. She looks to her side to see her Venusaur looking at her with worry. She straightens herself up, wiping whatever it was in her eye. 

“A-ah! I must have zoned out huh? Let’s head back to town, hm?” she tries to prevent her voice from shaking, and tries her best to give her partner a reassuring smile. Venusaur Ava’s smile wavers a bit, feeling some more tears threatening to fall. She gets up immediately, turning away from her partner.

“I’m fine! Really! It’s getting late, so we should really get back,” 

She hates that she’s hiding from her Venusaur, she hates that she feels like she has to, but she does anyway. She can hear Venusaur sigh, and starts trudging along with her back to Addenfall Town. She makes a mental note to smother Venusaur with treats as an apology.

~~~~

Was I a good friend to her?

The question plagued her ever since she woke up the next morning. It left an empty feeling in her gut, and for once, she can’t push that thought out of her mind. 

“Of course I was,” she’d try to reason with herself, “ We’ve been friends since high school, why wouldn’t we be?” But it was never enough. The question repeated itself over and over in her mind, a wave a guilt would wash over her as she thinks back to every interaction the two had.

“ I should have paid more attention,” she would chastise herself later that day, “ I should have talked to her, should have been nicer to her- fuck and I was so quick to throw her away! What was I thinking-”

“Saur?” Once again, her Venusaur snaps her out of her thoughts, looking at her with such concern. The shame of hiding before crept up on her once more, and she leaned towards her partner, hugging it as she whispers,

“ I think I’m a bad friend.” Her voice was quiet, broken, and it took all her strength not to cry. Venusaur coos, gently tapping Ava’s back, as if to say “ That’s not true”. Now it’s Ava turn for disbelief. But she holds her Venasuar anyway. It gives her comfort, at least. That’s the best thing she needs right now.

~~~~~

It would have been officially and week since Ava found herself in Addenfall. Still no Asra. Still no Scarlett. She refuses to believe Asra is dead. And she prays that Scarlett isn’t fully gone. She tried traveling through Silver Rise Forest, but it’s fucking cold, cold and cold. Literally one of the worst places for her and her grass types. And she tried getting through that joint, she really did. Didn’t help that it was so big. She had to cut her loses and hope for a miracle.

Addenall is still as nice as it ever was. She tries to help around where she can, but she finds herself going out for walks more than anything. It’s nice. Helps with her stress. But that isn’t always enough now is it? So imagine her surprise when she she walks out of town to see a Black Fox grunt harassing one of the townspeople. And righteous anger rages within her and she finds herself storming towards the damn grunt, ready for him to feel her wrath.

Good, she thinks. She needed an outlet.

[drama-nonsense-v]

10 BL boys I want carnally <3

Thank you for tagging me to do this @blneobin <3 I'm a little behind on this but i FINALLY have time today to write it so here we go! I've had so much fun reading all the one's I've seen thus far~

Keita Machida - Kurosawa (Cherry Magic Japan)

I absolutely ADORE this man. Attentive and kind and he's ssooo pretty. He is 5'11" (180cm), I want to climb him like a tree, thank you. I would do anything he asked. I have watched this show so many times in the last 6 months since i first watched it, its a little ridiculous. (eepy Kurosawa...oh how i adore him)

Khaotung Thanawat - Ray (Only Friends)

I love this man so much it hurts. I adore everything I've watched him in thus far but there is a /reason/ Ray is pictured in my about me on this blog. I related to Ray so much and his and Sand's scenes....oh wow... I have so many edits and gifs saved in a folder on my computer of this man, I am unwell about it (someone should recreate their dancing in the parking garage scene with me...)

Nut Supanut - Solo/Way (Oxygen/PitBabe)

I adored Nut in Oxygen (is it a little stiff, yeah, but i still liked it) I am a sucker for puppy like characters like Solo and hes just so incredibly Handsome. And Way is just...oh my god. Nut is legit the one of two reasons I started watching PitBabe. (Obsessed with the fact that Way is still kinda Puppy coded. He can take his frustration out on me, I'd consent to that)

Jimmy - Peun/Mohk (Vice Versa/Last Twilight)

I enjoyed Vice Versa and Jimmy immediately caught my attention when I watched it. And now with watching Last Twilight, many of my friends know just how UNWELL I am about this man. Mohk is so kind and attentive and he's so so handsome I cannot handle it. I made so many people watch the clip of him getting angry with August. When he got super quite? Lost my mind. (Look at him...look at his arms, are you kidding me??)

Ja Phachara Suansri - Leo/Punn (Don't Say No/Be Mine SuperStar)

THIS MAN IS 6'2" (188cm) THAT'S NOT FAIR. HE'S SO TALL (i'm a little jealous...) Ja is so pretty and him just throwing around First in Don't Say No like he was nothing? I lost it. The scene in the pool in Be Mine SuperStar where Punn and Ashi are talking and then Punn stands up? I was UNWELL (Punn is also another Puppy coded character and I will forever be a sucker for it)

Perth - Ae/Kanghan (Love By Chance/Dangerous Romance)

When I tell you some weird things came out of my mouth when I was telling my friends about Perth, I wish I was kidding (@darkroseespeon can attest to that). He's so incredibly ridiculously handsome and his smile is absolutely infectious. He's another that I would do anything they asked. (cue to me just repeatedly saying "he's so pretty" as i was trying to find a gif...)

Nat Thewphaingam - Nawin (Laws of Attraction)

I was living with some roommate when I was watching Laws of Attraction and they had a good laugh watching me LOSE MY SHIT when this man came on screen. I was immediately obsessed with Nawin. The bgm, the bloody tank, and the brass knuckles? I was a gonner. Truly in love with his antics and i would give a lot to be under him. (do you see his arms? the lighting? just...HIS FACE?)

Ji Sub - Jae Won (The Eighth Sense)

OMG one, this show is so important to me. Two, Ji Sub is a meal I could eat every day. I don't even have much more to say than that. He's just so handsome and he had such sad eyes... Jae Won, once they're finally boyfriends, is so sweet I just adore it so much. I love this man. (He was so cute in this scene I cant...)

Us Akkarachotsopon - Tay (Kinnprosche)

Tay is fully the embodiment of my never ending delima of do i want him or to i want to /be/ him???? His fashion sense is glorious and I will never be over it. The minute I start talking about it, its hard to get me to shut up. I would give ssoo much to take care of Tay and love him like he deserves. (Where the post that's like "i'll do anything for a boy with big brown eyes" or something like that. Also, this shirt?? I need it.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me

Am I cheating a little bit by talking about all four of them? Maybe. But I have made SO many people who are not into BLs watch this show FOR A REASON. I love it so much and I love all of them so dearly. AiDi and ChenYi's fashion? IMPECCABLE I'm obsessed and want to recreate some of their looks so bad. All their scene once they're finally together??? unbeatable to me. omfg. ZongYi and ZeRui's kitchen scene?? In shambles. SHAMBLES (I have a stuffed animal I named ZongYi cause he's so precious to me...and I want to get one to name AiDi)

Aaaahhh this...took me way longer to write than anticipated. Though part of that time was looking through endless amounts of gifs. to which, thank you to the gif makers, y'all make my day (haha xD) I have no idea who hasn't done this yet, (@mb-bls idk if you have or would want to?) but if you see this and want to do it, tag me so I can read it!!!!

[wdwmarveldisney]

Rollercoasters and Ice Cream

Derek Hale x reader

Singles Paired!AU

Summary: Being forced to take your sisters to an amusement park kinda paid off.

Masterlist

A/N: Posting this from school feels illegal. Nevermind. Has not been proofread so read at your own risk honestly.

GIF isn’t mine

This was the worst day ever.

Standing in line, you fixed your top as you rolled your eyes at your sister's words. The twins' favourite activity today wasn't rollercoasters or having excessive amounts of ice cream but instead was to make fun of you since you had to go on all the rides alone. Every time they opened their mouths to say it a new way, you were reminded why you never took them anywhere as they had complained. But every time you did, the twins found some way to tease and pick fun at you which you always found ridiculous because you were older so surely it should be the other way round.

Right now their teases were mainly fixated on the 'singles will be paired' sign next to them. They were having a field day with it, joking about who you might end up with and taking photos. You, meanwhile, were desperately trying to find the will to live and settling on the idea of ice cream from the Ben & Jerry's parlour next to the ride. You had been tempted to have some before but thinking the ride through, you had decided after was best. After all, the sign above the ride entry had read in weird writing:

This hydraulic launched rollercoaster will propel you from 0-80 miles per hour in less than 2 seconds!

You eyed the tall tracks of the rollercoaster, nothing being used to pull the actual thing up and drop it down. You watched the group go, screams filling the air as they flew past. The line began to move then so you decided to look over the singles in the line ahead. Some of them didn't look too mean, others had resting bitch faces. It made you pray to be able to pick.

Still scanning the people in front, you were cut off by the loud shouts behind you. It wasn't like anyone else was quiet but there was something too loud about the people behind you and when you turned to see a big group of teens, you realised why. They looked a couple years older than your sisters, well most of them anyway. There were a few younger ones who looked your sisters' age and there was one guy who was most definitely your age. He was probably the only responsible adult, an older sibling like yourself. His eyes met yours and your cheeks grew hot as you gave a pathetic wave to try and cover you staring.

Yeah, you really hope you got to choose.

"Yeah, no, he's way too hot for you," Your head whipped round to your giggling sisters. They were high fiving and you had to lean down to whisper your next words to them, "I'm not against slapping you little shits," they knew you were partially joking, smirking as arms crossed over their chests and you mimicked them. The other one spoke up, "You can't, it's child abuse," Yeah, like you didn't know that. So you simply nodded as the other one dropped in, "You'd go to prison. You want to go to prison?" They seriously thought they had you there and it made you grin as you answered, "Gladly, if it meant that I got a break from these absolutely pleasant trips I have to do," Their faces fell before one of them shoved your shoulder and they moved forward with the rest of the line.

You'd made it to the very front of the line when the gate closed on you and they prepared to send the full ride off. The guy said you'd be sat behind your sisters and then the next person by themselves would be sat next to you to which you said was fine. Like you had a choice. Glancing at the still insanely loud crowd behind you, you realised they'd already formed their pairs (7 to be exact). And then you realised that the ridiculously attractive guy your age was by himself and that made you turn back with a giddy smile as you wrapped your arms around your sisters' shoulders.

It didn't take long for them to start seating you, the two idiots celebrating they were at the front and you were shoved behind them. The group of teens filled the rest of the ride and you fiddled as someone approached the seat next to you. The nervous smile you sent him felt almost drowned out by the cheers from behind you. Most were wolf whistles, a few, "Go Derek," and "Get some," that made you about ten times worse. It felt like it couldn't get too much worse until he smiled back and your sisters took the opportunity to turn and embarrass you. They both had those signature smirks that made you often contemplating ditching them on the side of the road. "I'll try my hardest not to throw up on you but no promises,"

"Yeah, like she's not going to throw up on everyone behind her,"

Leaning forward, you grab their heads to turn them and push them in their seats as you mutter, "I think I'll do great in prison," they both paled slightly with nervous chuckles and strapped themselves in as you fell into your seat to do the same. The guy, Derek you guessed, laughed as he followed. You didn't dare to talk until the worker had pushed the harness down. You felt like you might as well introduce yourself since you knew his name. Doing your best to hold out your hand, you leaned forward to talk, "I'm Y/N, by the way. It's nice to meet you,"

"Derek," was all he said as he shook your hand and then he was looking away and you gave yourself a small nod as you got the message. Not a talker, huh? You still felt like you should warn him so, nervously, you leant forward again and said, "Sorry if I scream your ear off," He laughed this time with a small nod that let you know it was okay and that made you feel about ten times better. It was then that you felt the roller coaster moved back, getting ready to slingshot to the speed said on the sign and with a shake of your head, you regretted every single choice in your life that meant you were here. About to embarrass yourself in front of a ridiculously hot stranger. Screw God and higher power, Satan clearly took the wheel for your life and was obviously not very good at balancing duties 'cause even for him, this was a shit show.

A scream tore through your lips the second the wind started whooshing in your ear but all you could hear was a heart melting, gorgeous laugh from next to you which honestly made you just want to die. How was he perfect and how did that perfectness inject adrenaline in your veins so much quicker than this death coaster? How was this much of a high possible? You hated attractive people.

When you reached the top and it slowed for a view of the park, all you could fixate on was the very vertical drop you were about to face. Sure, you loved rollercoasters, they were great fun but a massive fear of heights always restrained some of that excitement. And maybe that fear and the shear height you were at managed to give the worst brain damage in the world or maybe you were just that dumb but you grabbed his hand. You grabbed the hot, mysterious, future-husband-material guy's hand and he held on just as tight. He held it with a small squeeze and laugh at the curses that spilled from your lips and you fell in love as you felt your stomach flip not only from the descent of the coaster but from the no doubt twinkle in his eyes. Yeah, kill you now.

The coaster slowed over the small bumps but you didn't drop his hand, still in a state of shock over your simple stupid self. It wasn't until the harnesses lifted and your sisters were poking fun at you that you dropped his hand like it burned you and started apologising profusely. He'd waved it off with probably half hearted reassurances that made your inside do cartwheels and was kind enough to hold his hand out again to help you out of the coaster when the attendants were getting very quickly pissed. The kids he was with were chattering away about how awesome it was or how 'No Stiles, I'd rather jump into an active volcano than do that again' which honestly felt like a mood. You went a few paces before you swung your hand and realised your fingers were still intertwined with Derek's

Lord have mercy.

"I'm so sorry. First on the coaster and now, um," you dropped his hand to wrap your arms around yourself, "I promise I don't go around just holding people's hands," He smirked, he had the audacity to smirk your way, all flirty as he commented, "So, what you're saying is that I'm special," That wasn't even a question, he was so confident. You hated his very beautiful face for that. "No?" You were such an idiot, such an idiot. What was that one word shit? Why were you doing that? It didn't hide the heat in your cheeks or clear embarrassment or the dead look in your eyes that became more oh so obvious every time you opened your mouth.

At the gate to the exit, he paused to hold it open for you and just casually asked, "Where are you going now?" Off a cliff sounded nice in all honesty, before you could mess this up any further. But instead of that, you gave the honest truth with a small point to the parlour, "My sisters want ice cream and I'm not complaining," he nodded, all the kids he was with being sent a quick glare to shut them up that low-key made him hotter, before he grinned brightly at you and shrugged, "Ice cream sounds great. Just give me a second," You nodded dumbly all but collapsing into your sisters' arms as he left. Their teasing was distant and a faint echo as you calmed your heart and tried your hardest to stop your head from planning an entire future with him. Easier said than done.

When he waved you over with a bright grin, your sisters all but dragged you as your body gave out and next thing you know, your in a queue for ice cream with him laughing at some no doubt ridiculous joke you made. He was prettier up close, eyes all scrunched and lips bright with a face splitting smile. Once all orders were made and the group was spread across three tables in the corner with your sisters making quick friends, you were a blushing mess in the silence that settled over the two of you. He was just smiling as he had his ice cream and you were scrambling for some sort of conversation to come to mind.

"What do you think of Queen?"

"What?" It came out as a laugh, a confused look being sent your way and you could hardly disagree. Who asks that out of nowhere? Still, you'd done it now, time to push through. "The band Queen, I'm just asking about, you know, music taste. It's a very deciding factor," That smirk was back for seemingly no reason and you racked what you had said and done but were easily cut off when he asked, "What's it you're deciding?" Oh, that. That comment; of course it was that comment. Trying to play it cool (and clearly miserably failing based off his laugh), you shrugged and continued eating your ice cream. He shuffled, bright smile as he answered, "They're good. Prefer Bowie,"

You paused, twisting your small wooden spoon before finally nodding, "I can get behind that answer," He grinned and you felt yourself relax just a tad. He quickly moved in before much more could be said, "So that decision then, got it yet?" A heat made its way to your cheeks and a helpless and rather pathetic shrug was all you could give. He seemed to still have more to say on the matter anyway, "'Cause, you know, I think I've come to one,"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," You resisted the very strong urge to giggle as you simply leaned forward and he mirrored it. Ice cream had long since left your mind as you asked with a small, held-back smile, "What's that then?" He reached to hold one of your hands, watching your focus move to where he played with your fingers, "That I should ask for your number and how you would feel about a date?" You couldn't stop the face splitting grin fro surfacing no matter how hard you fought and quickly nodded. "I think I'd feel pretty great,"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," When you looked back to him, he was solely focused on you in a way that made you want to scream into a pillow later when remembering. How were you supposed to live long enough to go on a date when he was looking at you like that?

"Damn, Derek's got game," Safe to say moment ruined. You watched him hold back a look of murderous rage before his eyes settled on the boy who spoke, your gaze following. The boy didn't recoil like others, a sarcastic smile lighting up his face that only brightened when Derek muttered rather bitterly, "Stiles," It had you poorly stifling giggles and that was enough for Derek to turn and face you again with a bright smile.

Yeah, maybe taking your sisters out today wasn't the worst day ever.

[zukkacore]

you reblogged that director's cut ask meme and i KNEW exactly already the scene. towards the end where it starts with:

"Disappointment. “Look. Whatever fantasy you’re trying to cling to, I don’t want any part of it. If you need anything, get another me to do it for all I care. I’m just—done playing house, Porter.” to "How ridiculous."

OR anything about the pomegranate tree which. i put my phone down to stare at the ceiling when the pomegranate tree was mentioned.

HIiiii!!!!! Thank you so much for sending me this honestly you picked a good one.

Ok. this scene is crazy bc i think it was the flashback scene that felt the most necessary to include. Not the one i fought the hardest for (jace good/bad teacher you have my heart ended up making sense but for a long time i was like cut that shit. You know you just want to be indulgent. Until i realized the ratgrinders haunt the narrative). Nor the one that feels the most. Obvious I guess? Or the most evocative? (The one where they're at Porter's house feels like so vivid and real to me not like necessarily bc of my writing its just like real in my mind like if Jace is reading Porter's memories there's definitely something in there that is just Precious and Heartbreaking and Deeply Ironic and almost simplistically affectionate in its portrayal of the Old Jace.

Anyway. This scene in the backyard felt. Necessary I guess? But i also worried i was trying too hard to make it work. It actually wasn't even really originally about Frosty Fair. Like. Jace still was walking out bc of a fight abt the ratgrinders but it was more abstract? I think the fact that its like ruben was getting attacked by grix is a throughline though for jace taking damage for TRGs in the forest. The ratgrinders were not originally going to be this like chekovs gun and like i honestly felt kinda bad that i was like. hm. awfully convenient for Jace to forget abt them so quickly in favor of getting. some dick but also like that's the whole POINT. I was like. Well i can at least highlight how absurd that is by making him ashamed but not really altruistic enough to do anything about it. But its like. Kinda the throughline now.

Originally I was like. Honestly rly embarrassed bc i felt like Jace taking damage in the forest was such a contrived way to get him and Porter to hook up like oooooh patching up injuries how original. But I feel like. There's a whole subplot kinda ABOUT jace taking the damage now. Now the whole story is about how he cares.

And post-Jace HATES that that's the reason Porter brought him on b/c he's so alienated from that version of himself, and he's disgusted with himself for feeling like he's never doing enough or caring enough. For being neglectful and running away. So when Porter grabs his wrist in the memory,

“I don’t think so, Stardiamond. You want this to work. You care, you always have. I know that’s who you still are.”

it's like. He's not seeing Jace for who he is. He's still clinging to the past. But also don't think he's completely wrong. Because jace does take that damage in the forest. He always had that capacity to care in him.

Anyway. I'll backtrack to the. Top of the scene tho.

Disappointment. “Look. Whatever fantasy you’re trying to cling to, I don’t want any part of it. If you need anything, get another me to do it for all I care. I’m just—done playing house, Porter.

Ok so this comes right after the whole. Jace wants Porter to acknowledge what he means to him. & Porter only mentioning his utility to The Plan. So. In my Mind the fantasy that Porter clings to about Jace and the fantasy Porter clings to about the house of sunstone heir of the cliffbreakers thing is made of the same stuff. It's all a glorious past that has been lostt to him. It's all something he's desperately trying to cling to.

There's also the fact that Jace says "I'm done playing house, Porter" (which i know is epilogue coded what can i say we get metatextual up in here). But. To me that's about. This idea of family. Porter feels he's been denied something of his lineage. In his mind he's doing this for his family as well as himself. I really wanted there to be something in there about Jace basically saying like. Why do you need to do this for your family. I'm your family. But it felt too on the nose and maybe not true to the character. B/c like. What family? The whole Jaceporter and the ratgrinders make up like a shitty fucked up fall of the house of usher type family is so real to me. But the thing is. That's a fantasy. Most of the ratgrinders are shatterstarred. Porter is clinging to something that doesn't exist.

And he says "if you need anything, get another me to do it for all I care." which. I think I needed to justify something within the text... But besides that. "get another me to do it" is so like. I think there's two things in there. 1) Jace is talking about his own replaceable nature within the plan. Calling attention to the fact that Porter actually COULD replace him, he just doesnt want to because he wants it to be jace. He just won't say that he'll say i need you you're so important blah blah. 2) obviously that's a bit of a jaceclone reference. He's saying literally another me, and long as I personally get that distance from you idc.

already talked abt the you care line so I'm gonna skip past it.

Another swing of Bigby’s Hand. This time, it’s a miss, and it dissipates—too rattled to concentrate. Jace seethes. “I don’t give a fuck what you think of me, or about who your Jace was. I’m —”

Ok. So like. I've talked about this a little bit, but I actually I do have a soft spot for the guardians of the galaxy 3 i actually think its pretty good and i don't like peter and gamora really but i think gotg3 uses them in very interesting ways b/c Quill keeps trying to insist that this gamora (a gamora from another time who never experienced the movies) should live up to the gamora from his memories. The line i actually really like is "What are you so afraid of within yourself that you need me to be something for you" which AAAAGGGGHHHH i feel sick about is very jaceporter to me. (The other scene that is very them is gamora saying “you know. I’m still not who you want me to be” and him going “yeah but who you are ain’t so bad” “I bet we were fun” “like you wouldn’t believe.” PORTER YEARNS FOR OLD JACE BUT ALSO ?? DID OLD JACE LOVE HIM TO THE POINT OF INVENTION?)

I don't think Porter would ever refer to the old jace as His Jace but I definitely think this jace conceives of it that way. & this is even more fucked bc PORTER put him here. That shit just happened to Gamora. PORTER is the one that wanted to actualize and use Jace but also misses who he used to be. And porter isn't wrong that this jace has the capacity to be as "good" at the old jace, but he's definitely not willing to acknowledge the harm he's caused or the pain this jace is in. I almost ended the exchange with "I'm Jace" but i felt like that also would be too on the nose. The fact that the name Jace is inherently a little bit silly does take a bit of the bite away. Sorry bestie beloved but its true ur name is ridiculous.

I think so much of this fic is Jace reconciling that he wants to be loved but he doesn't know in which way. Like. On the one hand he's saying please love as I am—as a person who has undergone irreconcilable trauma, different and the same. On the other hand he's saying please love me as I am— as the doggish, devoted frankenstein's creation that can't help but love his creator. And I think there's a little bit of both here. A little bit of Why are you asking for the old jace when i am what i am, the person you made, someone else, and i'm RIGHT HERE. And its a little bit of Why are you asking for the old jace expecting me to be something i no longer recognize, can you at least acknowledge that this trauma has changed me, that i feel different, that i feel as if i can never go back. But maybe those are the same thing

I also want a brief sec to talk abt that bigby's hand. I just wanted something that would leave a large impact i think? Like. this is such a WEIRD pull but i was watching that dirty laundry w/ brennan in which he talks abt getting in a car crash where the car trenches a hole in the grass and stops just shy of a woodchuck hole and he starts laughing in shock. I thought abt that a lot in the scene with the Motivational Poster bc of the laughing of shock but i also liked that imagery i guess of trenching a crater.

Pain, as the rage crystals and untamable arcana course through his veins—he can feel it in the present, too—and then the Jace in the memory surges so bad that he passes out on the lawn, but not before frying the nearby pomegranate tree to a crisp with a jolt of lightning. Jace turns away from that one as if flinching from a raised hand. Despite everything, he wishes most of all to apologize about the tree. He could laugh. How ridiculous.

Im playing a little loose with sorcery stuff but aint that the sorcery way i guess. Anyway I like in other fic when Jace has a hard time controlling his sorcery due to being shatterstarred as a way of being like yeah he's discordant with himself. Its sooooo good. I think the rage here is a little bit his and Porters. I don't know if thats how it works in the text but i made the call that jace's rage can also incite the crystal to act up.

OK SO lastly. THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP THE POMEGRANIT TREE JUST BC ITS FUN even tho its literally is like. Yeah I love Hadestown and Jaceporter are soooooo persephades / orphydice coded. I liked the imagery of his surge being so bad that it kills the something dear to Porter in the garden, and I was like. Frying a tree sounds cool. And I was like. Well if its gonna be a fruit tree of COURSE it can't be any old tree it has to be a pomegranite tree. OF COURSE. And it's not stated but i do think it kinda was the centerpiece of that garden. And of course like. A pomegranate on its own already means a lot. In terms of like. Death n rebirth Persephades and this idea of the cycles of the seasons and leaving n returning and the overlap with this idea of like, corruption and a Fall from grace

Also a shoutout to my ability to neglect real world facts. "Lily, white, and Poppy red. I trembled as he laid me out. " Yeah, Porter decimated the poppies in the fight. They're completely out of season but we can play pretend.

I do think him wanting to apologize for the tree is like. Such a funny moment. I think after i wrote what happened to the tree i felt bad for said tree. There is something really sad abt that. So i think Jace would feel bad about destroying something that takes so long to grow, that Porter cares about, and find away to blame himself even tho Porter is the one who started everything.

Anyway. This scene felt. Necessary bc i think there needed to be some semblance of showing them in like. Actual conflict. at the time i actually did NOT know that THIS would be THE FIGHT in the exhange that Porter was talking about earlier. When he said "i thought you meant it this time". i mean. its not explicit but I do think there's a finality to the interaction that implies that yes. Jace was fucking serious this time. And again there's that throughline of the ratgrinders haunting the narrative. About Jace caring and feeling like he's never caring enough.

Like, so much of the story is ABOUT Porter looking right past jace and i felt like there should be scene that. Says it outright. But also. Not being completely wrong. IMO. B/c I also think Jace was threatened by the version of himself that porter sees. And he thinks he doesn't live up to that. he COULD never live up to that. (And in some ways he does. In some ways. He's might even be perfect in his own way. He kinda loved Porter to the point of invention so)

[toujokaname]

Card shuffle / Episode 13

Author: Akira

Characters: Rinne, Aira, Mayoi, Niki, HiMERU, Tatsumi, Kohaku, Hiiro

"—I see. In today's match, the winner was Crazy:B."

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[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su ♪ ]

Season: Winter

Location: Café Cinnamon

Rinne: You see, I, Rinne Amagi-kun, am the leader of Crazy:B. That fact has never officially changed on paper or in any official records.

Aira: W-Well, even if the records say so, it was decided by the show's rules, as part of the production, to swap leaders—

Rinne: Hey, did any of you guys hear that notice from anyone other than me?

Mayoi: Eh...? Ah, now that you mention it...? It was Rinne-san who informed us about the change in leadership, and neither ES nor the administration made any mention of it—correct?

Niki: Y-Yeah. Rinne-kun suddenly brought it up, and we just kinda went along with it, like "oh, for realsies~?"

Niki: If it meant getting rid of Rinne-kun's tyranny, even for just a little, I was all for it.

Rinne: Niki's in for a wrestling move later.

—And oh, if you bothered to pay attention to the project proposal, you would've noticed that not a single line mentioned a leader swap.

HiMERU: So, to sum it up, Amag—Rinne just spoke on his own accord about the leadership exchange.

We were under the mistaken impression that it was a directive from the planning or management team.

Niki: W-Why'd you have to tell such a lie?! Got my hopes up for nothing! I thought, finally, I could be happy too!

Rinne: You better start practicing your falling techniques.

Tatsumi: —I see.

In today's match, the winner was Crazy:B.

It was a strange, inherently implausible event.

Kohaku: Ahh? Is it really so impossible for us to beat ALKALOID? Just 'cause ES has it out for us, ain't ya gettin' a little too arrogant?

Tatsumi: I didn't mean that, what I meant was that it was a strange situation within the framework of the Matrix rules.

As Rinne-san confessed earlier, his and Hiiro-san's positions were not exchanged—If that is indeed the case...

In today's showdown, not a single Crazy:B member was on the stage.

Mayoi: Errmm, umm... Aah, yes, I understand.

If Hiiro-san remained the leader of ALKALOID, then only the four members of ALKALOID were on the stage.

That means that no one from Crazy:B's side was present in the showdown.

HiMERU: Right. Then, under normal circumstances, Crazy:B should have lost by default.

And yet. The audience gave a high score to Crazy:B, even though none of us were on stage...

As a result, we ended up being declared the winners.

Rinne: Ain't that a riot ♪ Under Matrix's rules, everyone waved their glow sticks at the empty, uninhabited void.

They were voting up a storm! Gyahaha! ☆

HiMERU: You appear to genuinely enjoy ridiculing people like this, Rinne.

Rinne: But I mean, ain't it clear how meaningless the DreamFes system is?

Even if according to the rules there are no idols, rack up plenty of votes, and suddenly you're "outstanding idols," huh! ♪

In the extreme, idols don't even have to sing and dance on stage. If they get votes, they're winners, they're the superior idols—What a load of bullshit! ♪

Rinne: Do you think I can stomach to have our worth be measured by such an empty system without an ounce of humanity? Do you?

I'm gonna keep on proving just how stupid ES is, so buckle up!

ES's beloved ALKALOID will be thoroughly beat to a pulp, while we, Crazy:B, who ES hates like poisonous bugs, continue our winning streak—

I'm gonna kick the shit outta ES through you guys and laugh my ass off, gyahahahaha! ☆

Hiiro: —Is that so. I see. That's amazing.

There was no change of monarch (leader). Through such a trivial trick, Nii-san brought two victories to his own forces.

Niki: What? Really? It does look like we won today's game, but for the next round—

Hiiro: I remained the monarch of ALKALOID. In other words, all of the ALKALOID members took part in the competition as “representative players."

Following the Matrix rules, none of us can compete in the next round. In other words, regardless of the details of the match, Crazy:B will win by default in the next showdown.

Rinne: Exactly right. Two victories outta two matches, and we've already pulled ahead of ALKALOID by a considerable margin.

It'll be a liiittle tough to make a comeback from this point on ♪

Aira: S-Setting all this up before the real battle even started... You're taking this frivolous wrestling showdown way too seriously, Rinne-senpai.

It's incredible... Really, incredible is the only word for it...

Rinne: Ohh, look at you actually praising me for once, Girlfriend-kun.

Aira: I'm not praising you, I'm just kinda appalled...

So much stuff's starting to make sense now—Rinne-senpai seemed oddly detached despite looking like he'd enjoy this kinda competition.

Was it because you were planning to betray us right away?

HiMERU: Indeed. Hiiro-san trained HiMERU and the others so thoroughly that we sincerely hoped he'd take pity on us, but there'd be no need to do so if he was going to betray us sooner or later.

Hiiro: Umu. That would only end up aiding the enemy.

Rinne: Gyahaha. After getting told the truth, it's way too late to be saying "I thought something was off." You're so lame ♪

Rinne: And of course, this ain't all I've got in store for you. I've mapped out a strategy to win every battle from start to finish, so you better brace yourselves—"ALKALOID."

It's thanks to ES's favoritism that you've been strolling along the sparkling Cinderella road.

But in this project, you lot are gonna continue suffering these miserable defeats, playing the role of pathetic losers, got it?

The role you've been given is not that of a poor little ash-covered princess who deserves to be happy.

Instead, you're meant to play the wicked stepmothers and stepsisters who trample on such unfortunate heroines.

You've been strutting around all high and mighty, but this time around, there's no happy ending in store for you ♪

Tatsumi: ...As much as we're being spoken ill of, I don't believe we've done anything particularly cruel.

Rinne: True that! Tough luck, you guys are just unfortunate gamblers who happened to roll the worst possible fumble.

You might have a laundry list of gripes, but you better curse your rotten luck for having stumbled into the gambling den that is the idol industry!

HiMERU: —Your gaze was vacant and lifeless until today, but suddenly you're brimming with energy, Rinne.

Niki: Yeah, that look on his face's like when he hits the pachinko jackpot and a buncha balls start flooding out...

Kohaku: I reckon this rotten scoundrel feels most alive when showin' off his own wickedness.

Madara-han from Double Face is cut from the same cloth.

Rinne: Hey, hey, I'm practically handing you guys the win, so won'tcha ease up already?

[ ☆ ]

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[golbrocklovely]

i'm blocking out the accounts bc i'm not about to draw more eyes to them. funny enough, i went snooping on my own and found both accounts before this ask.

also this is just a warning, i'm running on about two percent battery brain power, so if this doesn't make sense and/or sounds like i'm an asshole, that's why. i'm not trying to be rude to you anon, so please don't think that. i'm just ridiculously tired of this situation and the ppl involved in it.

imma be so forreal, i kinda have to laugh at all of this. first off, both of these accounts are run by teenagers… and it's very obvious. it reads like a jealous little girl's diary.

also i can debunk all of their shit in a heartbeat. half of it is just them saying "see ! malia is a slut who had work done" and all i gotta say to that is… do you say that about amber? shea? stas? just curious. bc they all got work done, and they all have casual sex (most likely) or at the very least have hooked up with colby. so like???? keep the misogyny even if you're gonna go full pick me.

malia had an onlyfans, yes. she did technically lie in her response to a hater who said she had one. however, no one is owed an explanation to if and why she had one. and secondly, this fandom is full of young fans. if she admitted she had one, yall would just call her a creep that's promoting sex to minors or whatever. and clearly if she actually posted anything of her nude, it would be online. bc.. like these losers pointed out, the videos she did of her modelling bikinis for some brand got put on porn sites by creepy dudes. none of them are of her nude tho. it's just her in a bikini which surprise surprise isn't porn.

she got work done but liked a comment that called her a natural beauty….. do these fans really think they ate pointing this out?? she is naturally pretty, she just got some work done. again, would you harp on shea liking a comment that says that? or amber? or stas?? or how about a woman that's wearing makeup or a push up bra??

these fans really think they have her in this gotcha moment when reality is…. all they're doing it pointing out how pathetic they look. yeah babes, you're totally right. malia is a slutty porn star who got work done… and colby STILL decided to date her. you know why? bc he doesn't care. and you do… and yet here you are… still not getting the attention from colby you think you deserve. even if you were the last person on earth colby wouldn't choose you. and for all the hate you have for malia, you basically run a fan account for her since you know so much about her. but yeah… keep calling her a whore or whatever. you're doing such a good job at it lmao

i'll go thru the other ones these bozos pointed out fast:

colby likes his alone time, she made a tiktok saying she likes when guys are obsessive…. those don't even relate, but on top of that she made that vid before she was even DATING HIM

we have no proof malia made him unfollow anyone, they are just jumping to that conclusion

the cheating thing we now know is false

she didn't steal that hair color from amber………. are yall on crack? amber hasn't ever dyed her hair that color?? she uses a wig??? and just bc she wants to dye her hair a similar color doesn't mean malia copied. how would she have even known that?? jesus christ keep the schools open these kids are DUMB

the girls went to coachella a couple years ago or whatever but claimed the one they went to with snc was their first. oH mY gOd ThEy LiEd Or PoSsIbLy FoRgOt??? call the firing squad and line them up in the town square. burn the witches at the stake!!!!

malia called herself a slut and that's proof… she's a slut. sure. yeah. whatever you say, children. yall barely have had sex ed but please inform me how she's a slut. i'd love to hear it.

the girls in general are copying kat/amber. i mean… they literally aren't. they just cut and dyed their hair, two things NEITHER KAT OR AMBER HAVE DONE in a long time/ever. i would say you're grasping at straws but that would require there to be straws.

if you think malia or katelyn are bad ppl for having subscriptions about their lives where they might post their boyfriends, boy do i have news for you about shea and stas.

anything else they said is horseshit and tbh i'm over it. call me when the girls have been found guilty of something other than being kinda annoying and attention seeking on *gasp* the internet, of all places.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hello I wanted to talk to you about something. Would like to hear your opinion on it because I really respect it. So on Twitter Trumanblack was trening lately and I saw people being mad that truman Black came back.

Here's couple of tweets, to show you the perspective:

,He is escaping the reality through this character. Being sincere and open is the way to live life not hiding behing fictional characters. He needs to grow up and realize where his priorities are.

Ofc, we do not know him. His choice, his life.

Or

what the fuck happened matty. I don't understand what you're doing right now. should have left Truman in the trash. I don't get it.

Or

This. It seems he was used to dealing with difficult emotions through avoiding them in stage character (he admitted to this in an interview recently) & he wanted to ditch the character & embrace the emotions/be sincere things maybe got too raw & real so he is back in charakter

I'm sorry this message is so long. I'm just thinking about it all. Do you think 'matty' is gone and he will be acting and all that in the upcoming tour? Cause I wouldnt like it and it won't be good for him too :/

Again sorry this is so long

No, I mean, this is an interesting topic that I think we should 100% get into to "warm up" for the tour. I bet we'll have even more to say once we start getting content from the first new shows in September. (omg not too far away now aaaahhhh), so everyone feel free to chime in, but basically, here is how I think about it ( this is probs gonna be long. apologies in advance. im gonna add a "keep reading" so i dont destroy y'all feeds).

The first thing we need to remember is that Matty's "Truman Black" persona pre-dates the ATVB tour. He's always been "Truman Black." He's always been a jokester, a meme lord, a bit chaotic, a bit sexy, a pastiche or caricature of himself.

The question, then, is why? Why does he do this?

For several reasons. And he's been nothing but honest with us about them.

From as early on as 23 years old, when ST first started blowing up and the boys cultivated a following, Matty became acutely aware of the spotlight and the way that fans idealized and idolized him. Sexually desired him, saw him as this rockstar figure. And it made him uncomfortable because, well, no real human being could live up to such a fantasy, right? That's really what the song "Love Me" is about. He experienced this during album 1 and instantly wrote about it for album 2. like thats how strongly he felt it. He's more eloquent about it than I can ever be, so I'm going to link you to his explanation of "Love Me."

so, as he's pointing out in his explanation, he plays this kinda ridiculous character to "subvert" expectations. right? even in the mv, he has cardboard cut outs of sex symbols and heart throbs like Harry Styles etc. and he takes his shirt off and stands next to them and makes out with them and all that. Usually, the normal rockstar-fan relationship is that we project our fantasy upon the rockstar and the rockstar accepts it obligingly. But Matty's going "well this is really kinda silly, and it makes me feel sooo disconnected from myself if i turn into this person everyone thinks i am, so what am i gonna do? oh I'll just lean into the silliness." so if he can't do the "fake authenticity" of the cliched rockstar, hes gonna do a very authentic fakeness of being loud, and silly goofy funny messy larger than life, etc.

He explains it here (I've cued it up to the right moment in the video). He's right, if you're a stranger and you know nothing about him and you see him behaving in a Truman-black-esque way, you'd think "wow what an arrogant piece of shit this dude is." BUT if you realize that he's like "i KNOW that you all think of me this way. And YOU (the fans) know that I know that you think that way." we become in on the joke.

You know what im gonna say here. Postmodernism. LMAO. No, but for real. Postmodern art naturally has this "meta" habit. It's art that knows itself as art. It's aware that it's not real. Like movies that are constantly referring to themselves as movies. breaking the experience of illusion for you by constantly reminding you that what you are watching has been filmed and edited. it's not real life. Thats what Matty does with the "rockstar persona" constantly reminding you "it's not real. im just a character made up in all our heads. I'm actually a normal human being but my job is kinda fuckin mental."

So, I think those 4 points, from VERRRYYY early in Matty's career are the genesis of Truman Black. Thats what "Truman Black" is based on.

You could ask, well, if Matty has been this way from the very beginning how come it's such a problem now? how come this whole thing is a new issue??

I think its the perfect storm of this year.

The ATVB show was designed to push the blurry lines between Matty Healy/ Truman Black to their very limits cuz they added extra layers of meta-theatricality to an already meta situation haha. He plays himself in the couch scene, and the raw meat scene, but he's also kind of playing a symbolic version of himself that's supposed to apply to a lot of straight men, but then the show is also about the lines between his personal and his public lives.

Then he goes and does the Truman Black rockstar shit in the second half of the show. So, the tour really could've been called "Matty Healy: At His Very Truman Black-esque" and it would have been accurate. Like he took this concept and stretched it to see how far it could take him.

Then of course you have the podcast thing, the taylor swift thing, the twitter cancelation cycles, etc etc etc.

There were so many new eyes on him. and so much out of context (remember, meta-theatricality needs context. needs the audience to be in on the joke. we have to know 'oh hes making fun of himself being a rockstar') cuz if we don't have the context he really comes off as a guy who's in love with himself and his rockstar status haha.

Now that alllll of this background is out of the way, lets discuss the questions that you've brought up.

Is he Matty or is he Truman Black?

I think lots of people didn't notice that when he threw out the lab coat that was labeled "truman black" in the video, he wasn't serious. he instantly starts doing the robot dance, flipping the camera off with his finger, acting disruptive by riding the trolley thingy. All Truman Black behavior: mischief, breaking rules, etc. so it was a "meta" joke. he tossed the character then acted like the character. a contradiction. ironic. Truman Black's never been gone! he and Matty are intertwined necessarily. you can't separate one from the other.

Is he gonna be acting at all in S...ATVB?

Yes. He will. He's working with Brad Troemel whose sense of humor is very close to Matty's and who loves irony and postmodernism.

Does he use Truman Black to "hide from difficult situations" or to "run from his emotions" or whatever that tweet was saying? no. He uses it to deliver social critique. About masculinity being ridiculous, about our relationship to artists and the fantasy of perfection in Rockstar cliches, about performative wokeness.

Those are the very same beliefs that Matty Healy believes in. hes always criticizing these things in interviews and speeches and stuff. So, no, hes not hiding behind the character to disassociate he IS the same guy, just a slightly less dramatized and exaggerated version.Thats why he doesn't completely turn it on or off at any time. Thats why it's not that he was willing to stop it for a relationship and then start it again when it didn't work out. Thats not how Matty operates at allll.

He didn't throw out his belief that performative wokeness is harmful and stupid, he didn't throw out his belief that leftist masculinity is confusing, he didn't change who he is at his very core just to be mr nice guy, or to be sincere, or to get his dick sucked off by Taylor Swift, or whatever these people think is the reason. He's always been this way; he very likely will always be this way. Thats just how he makes art and how he thinks about the world.

He's always BEEN open to embracing emotions and being sincere. "I love you, don't you mind?" "we're only human we're just like you man" "I'll quote on the road like a twat," "im petrified of being alone, its pathetic," "im just pissed off because you pied me off after your show," "you pick a fight and i'll define it" "i said its cool i was messing but its true," "pretend that i know what it is (i wasn't listening)" "sorry that I quite like seeing myself on the news. im sorry that im someone that i wish i could change, but ive always been the same."

would an emotionally stunted anti-sincerity guy write ANY OF THESE LYRICS? idk, you tell me.

[thesmutalorian]

Yeah  they made the feral predator way too hot. The credits came on and I immediately went to Ao3 like “let’s see what the girlies have to say about thissssss” 🤭 I saw the original predator almost a decade ago and as much as I liked it, never would of guessed I’d be here now 🙂

 the ooman shit kills me, like why do they have these scary ass aliens saying such silly shit I’m gonna die. 

Turns ouuuuut, I actually have more to sayyyyy, but you don’t have to respond: I feel bad bc I don’t have an Ao3 account so I can never comment, but Gorl if I did, id have a whole essay for every chapter, including reaction images 😤. Ik you aren’t currently writing from Ta'Kesh’s POV (which is perfectly fine lol), but I really appreciated how you did so. The predator POV is so fun to read, they’re just so damn cold and pragmatic and just ALIEN yk? (Ta’kesh makes me laugh bc he’s such a lil psycho lol). At least when done right I think. The dynamic you have set up is really interesting, like I love a good slow burn enemies to friends to lovers, but the cultural differences and species hierarchy sets it up for some really fascinating (JUICY) interactions/character development. I was unfortunate enough to come upon your story very early, there aren’t many other fics that hold up to the standard you set! (Have you read The Devil You Know? One of the only other quality fics I’ve found that seems to accurately portray that sort of dynamic- 10/10 recommend). 

But anyway, the arrogance, the entitlement, just the cold bluntness makes predator fic so engaging to me. When you take a person with that deeply ingrained of a mindset (that’s another aspect I love, the question of whether or not yautjas are innately “predatory” or if it’s largely due to cultural upbringing) and force them to interact with with someone they deem inferior in a way they never have had to before (and there was only ONE BED heheh) I’m eating that shit up with 2 hands like GOOD SOUP!!😤😤😤

 I appreciate it even more with a quality OC and I like Charlie a lot. I really struggle with reader/you fics bc beyond me just being like “lol I would not do that”, I like having an established character to root for :). She has an interesting past that you’ve managed to portray in an appealing and unostentatious way. Reminds me of Rust cohle from True Detective.  I like that she’s very brave, but not to the point of ridiculousness lol. She has her moments where she’s able to act courageously in order to try to survive, but still gets intimidated/scared (extremely valid) sometimes with the big ass scary aliens. Do you have anyone in mind for how she looks?

Some highlights so far:

Greatly enjoyed ta’kesh’s cringe fail lake venture where Charlie showed his ass up while he fucking stands in the background looking like a drowned ass rat ahahah but watching her Commit Violence like 👀

Idk why but aliens using bidets is so fucking funny to me

Kinda living for ta’kesh being a dork and talking to his cat all the time hehe

let me see what the girlies have to sayyyyy 👏🏼 absolutely the correct response. my friend and I stand by that alien v predator could've been entirely more romantic if they were brave enough but 🤪 no cause literallyyyyy when I read ooman I hear it in a baby voice and I canNOT take it seriously, like bless those authors truly but whoever started the ooman precedent.... I just wanna talk 🧍🏻‍♀️ and girly pop ofc I'm gonna respond you took the time to let me know how you feel and I /love/ interaction okay (I think there's a way to comment anon on ao3 with like a guest account or name or something but maybe I'm wrong idk) but either way you take the time I want to show my appreciation

I stopped his POV just cause I felt like I was backtracking and I'm already so slow (rip sorry) but I really do want to come back to it in the future just to have fun revealing his inner workings (cause sometimes I be writing things and giggling like pookie is such a brat and then I remember y'all can't hear the goofy ass voices in my head and you only know the story I show you) but yes yes their differences are gonna play out in so many ways that I just can't wait for 😇 AND YES IVE READ FRIGGY one of the few I made it all the way through and then had to literally have a whole moment to process that there wasn't a second part 😗😗 sick I tell you, sick,, but I completely understand the not being able to read FPOV or self insert because of the "ummm I would never" --- because that's EXACTLY how I started writing 💀😭 I was chatting w my friend and we were like ok but isn't it kinda weird how fast some of these fmc just like... accept the whole ass murder crab men? also--- how do they survive well in space and from there Charlie was born ahahahHA I was like ok but what if I made it realistic for bits (as realistic as scifi can be) and then asked people to suspend their disbelief for the fun bits like the space pond and the tail n shit 🤭🤭

I have a whole board of art for ta'kesh but I've never really stopped to think about Charlie 🧐🧐

YES DROWNED RAT IS SOOOOO RIGHT mans really does have an ego, which, like rightfully earned? but also... must be checked whenever author feels he needs it (all the time 😇)

the bidet was me being like what is something that isn't necessarily commonplace, but feels bougie enough that an advanced society would have it regularly around.... ah yes.... Bidet.

ta'kesh is a cat girl, confirmed

I promise to bring you more good soup in the future 🍲

[guardian5tiger3]

Karma/the consequences of their actions.

Tarot Reading + intuitive/channeled messages.

Pick a group

1 2

3 4

Group one

I wonder if you guys believe in and are heavy on law of three. Either way it is in effect here. It's definitely coming back something like three times the damage they've done. So you l can imagine how rough that's gonna be for this person. If they try to fight it it's gonna get worse. This person got themselves in some sort of trap.they might have or will embarrass themselves in some type of love situation. Then they're gonna have to leave that situation or did , looking like a dumbass.at least to themselves. Nobody else might care, really. Depends on the individual here. Some are going to get ridiculed, others nobody effing cares. Lol. But they feel embarrassed regardless. They care too much about themselves and they have too much pride and ego. They might even do something to try to fix whatever embarrassed them and defend themselves somehow or show off or something like that. So you guys can imagine this is also going to trip them the heck up right? I'm getting the vibe of like someone just fucking shit up and the rest of the room is silent like , why are you having a meltdown right now it wasn't that serious. So, .... Wow....I actually don't see this person getting exposed for some type of negative or even evil way that they've been. Them on the inside, right. Whatever they've maybe done or said or if they keep it to themselves completely. I guess the universe is picking this path because it's going to lead them down the longest line of just complete bullshit sort of similar to what I've been trying to express, them just stuck in cobwebs or mud or something trying to get out but then therefore making it worse. Ok I'm thinking of quick sand. Haha. Yeah this person is gonna have some red in the face moments in the future. They seem like there's some chill people around them possibly. And observant. Someone might catch this person while they're talking and call them out and it just might really put them in the spot embarrass the shit out of them . Ha

Group two

Present or future. The only thing this person seems to know is that they're clueless and everything for them sucks. Someone could literally go blind so that's not even funny. But most of you this person just doesn't seem to know anything about anything. So I can see how that would be intimidating or scary to them. Maybe one or two of you a coma or it's a threat right now if they keep up the bullshit and drama. I don't think it has to end up that serious though. This person is being blinding so that 1. They can't stop their lives from going to shit in all the ways they'll get karma, maybe extreme poverty or something ? 2. So that they can't continue doing other things to other people. I heard harassment. This person is awful. I think they're worse than you realize. I think they put up a front or draw out emotions to manipulate people into thinking they're better than just horrible but they're even more horrible for doing that. It's like this person knew or knows that this can only end badly whatever they've been doing. And yet they decided then therefore to just cause as much havok as they can and still be secretive somehow I feel, about it before this inevitable ending took place. If their old this could be death not gonna lie. Or just getting too old to participate. But if their young take it how it fits. If it's some type of character they put on, they knew it wouldn't last forever. This person is already miserable, and their kinda slimy. I think their karma is worse or some of you got this far I sense that some of you this person you're thinking of is not that bad but I think the few of you I'm talking about you kind of already know that. I see this person falling. I think they have to be forced to fall into their own mind , heart and soul and deal with whatever has made them the negative way they are. Yikes.

Group three

This person seems to almost get away with things. I just know that's frustrating.either they seem to have a growing and positive future or outcome , or you do and they've tried or are trying to attack that. They could be or have tried to steal something in regards to your future. Or they just tried to knock you down so you'd be guaranteed to lose. I think they are or are going to end up seeing who they're dealing with. You guys almost are coming off to me like statues . In a good way! . Like, unfazed. At least deep down you're unharmed. And standing strong in your power. Like maybe you just move on and your cool but to them it's like they have to face you. This could also be them having to face some power, some thing, situation, or even a fucking entity. This person is power hungry and to have to face something or someone that is clearly more powerful than them is seemingly horrifying , to them . I don't even think you guys perceive yourself or realize anybody else could the way they do or are about to. I'm getting a lot of white . Like all four cards about this are pretty much all white. It's kind of like, how are you untainted ,unfazed, but the reason they are the way they are is because something similar destroyed them right. So they just do that to other people. You're clearly stronger than them because you overcame it and are powerful after doing so, like they were not strong enough to do. It's kind of like this person saw a ghost. For some of you this could be a guide of yours doing this to them if not you, or even then being intimidated by a judge or official of some sort . Something. But they are or will be scared. I'm telling you. This could be multiple maybe you and your guide or your guide and a police officer or you and a judge. I don't know. They may try to or have started to go on with their life after doing the same wicked shit they've done but they seem like eventually , they've been walking in a forest right, and they've continuously tripped on things as a warning. Then I see them eventually falling into a bottomless pit. Sooo . Yikessss

Group four

This person either left you hanging somehow, or ended something. Or left you hanging and you had to do something by yourself. Something like this ok. I don't think they helped or are helping as much as they could or did. This could be some heartbreak for you because you might have had a lot of wishful thinking about this person. Maybe you imagined things going or becoming very good and positive with them. Maybe you went through hard times and in that they eventually just left or opted out somehow or didn't do enough to help you right and meanwhile you were thinking how good things will be when they get better or something like that. Maybe this person also led you on somehow. Overall you were let down by this person or people right. Whatever ending or something bad that happened to you is going to either effect them or something very similar will happen to them .looks like currently or in the past they've had people they can turn to. Maybe just friends to help them out. They were or are confident they can do no wrong and they can live their lives however they want with no consequences or regard for how they make other people feel. This person might end up with a kid or maybe they have one or someone they know does or will. Or maybe they left you with a kid.i can't even really pick up on this person's consciousness. Like I'm sort of confused. If they are extremely undeveloped or what. Maybe they dont really experience much as in they don't have much of an inner world. I'm thinking about someone going under amnesia. I don't really fully know what's going on here in all honesty but you live and you learn, I guess. Life is a short trip so take it easy, and do take care of yourself. My best guess is that this person actually sold their souls but that's not for every single person here.