#I made a choice

[the-prophecy]

I have two options going to sleep rn and being less exhausted tomorrow or going to listen to music till 11

[hellspawnmotel]

the happy end

[fishthegenderwitch]

The Christian Lady capacity to straight up ignore whatever they are not focusing on specifically is weirdly impressive sometimes. Today I'm grateful for that.

Today at work, my brain did that thing where it sees many words and melds them together into an inappropriate sentence. I was looking at the shambles that is the Spirituality section, where books are just crammed and stacked willynilly (idk what's been going on the past week but someone's not doing their jobs; twas a mess). So I laugh about it, tell a coworker, and move on with the day.

Many hours later, a Christian lady comes in and says she's looking for a specific book, and they always ask me like I have encyclopedic knowledge of the contents of our used bookstore. The capacity (and we are always over this, guaranteed) is about 40,000 books, not counting the media room.

"I'm looking for "Jesus the Man" by Barbara Thiering," she says to me.

Whereupon I decide this is the time to tell her about the book meld from earlier that day, even going so far as to point at both books while telling her, "You ever see some books near each other and your brain just crams the titles together weird? Today I saw these. See these two books? {The books stacked beside each other are Saturdays with Billy [Graham], and Killing Jesus} My brain melded these together this morning and I got "Killing with Jesus!"

She just blithely keeps talking, for which I am grateful. Then I helped her look for her book.

[Sometimes the brain gremlins take control of the reins and I'm just like What just happened.]

[inkskinned]

the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.

when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."

but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.

now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.

the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.

but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."

the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.

but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?

because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!

and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.

[ghostsagainstcircus]

WELCOME

THIS IS MY EXCUSE TO PLACE A BUNCH OF RANDOM CRAP HERE.

[hiddenbysuccubi]

My ex is a v. v. v. Very sad sight to behold. I still feel sorry and sad that I've watched him devolve and become this, despite the abhorrence I feel from the abuse I sustained from him for too long. I am a Very Complicated - and in some ways not - and more Not Full Of Self Preservation individual and so I'm currently in Sturgis, MT in a hotel halfway from Des Moines and en route to West in the process of taking him home. Because I made a promise to a very sweet woman that I would look out for her asshole son. I quit my job on the Cape for many reasons - from benign lack of A/C to "HR can't or won't do anything about my roommate threatening me and then the sous chef screaming in my face and threatening me to the point that another sous and my housemate told him to stop." It just coincided with my ex MIL passing away in Iowa (heart attack) and me heading west anyway. So I'm going to drop him off in West, see my cats, and immediately head up to Glacier for my next job with housing. (I won't have internet or cell there but I have books and the cafe's closed on Saturdays so I'll likely drive to service) It's just so sad to see, though. He went from being bulky muscled, confident, strong, clean, independent, to being so very thin... scared, erratic, disgusting, constantly injured, and unable to take care of himself. I couldn't fix him or take care of him then and I sure as hell am not taking on that burden now. But for subconscious "I'm Stupid" reasons I decided I could take on a hitch-hiker. For the family that looked out for me and welcomed me for four years and now again. For the MIL who I talked to all the time. For the man who may have never existed, but who I believed I briefly met all those years ago.

And that's where I am.

[lexo-is-pesto]

Has anyone else noticed this..?

[missstar489]

There are sentences that i speek and/or type that do not betray my past to those who never knew

And then there are sentences i type out that when i reread them i am forced to confront just how much reading Homestuck during the volatile time of puberty irrevocably changed both my brain and my vocabulary

[novelconcepts]

The transition from eating someone out of unthinking desperation (Jackie) to by choice out of necessity (Javi) to choice out of punishment (Ben) to presumably choice out of self-preservation is such a chef’s kiss. What a microcosm of society. We had to. We had to. We had to. You could never understand that we had to.

Had to just means so many different things.

[angelofdumpsterfires]

how i feel about all the changes in s3

[rambrandt-the-painter]

jolene gets a two page ref sheet fuck it

[all-my-ocs-are-evil]

[insert poetic title here]

fun fact: this did not start out as isat fanart

(rambling in tags)

[arttsuka]

Mouthwashing crew as horses

[allysketches]

gets in charge of the bookshop for 1 (one) day: shows up in a cardigan vest and metal sleeve garters, keeps the shop CLOSED, avoids selling a single book... iconic, truly did THE MOST, 10/10 😩👌🏻

(also, the way he was this 🤏🏻 close to finally achieving the status of house husband he's been dreaming about for MILLENIA just to have the rug pulled out from under him last minute... truly DEVASTATING 😩 my girl really can't catch a break 🤧)

[hinamie]

new official illust of them with puppies healed something in me

[itseghost]

the captured! quest was so funny that i actually drew multiple things at once