#I love yinz tho--

[blxdc-a]

Sorry I've not been around much. This time of year is hard for me, and I've also had a lot of other shit going on that's got my creativity fucking right off into the underbrush where I can't find it--

[serenemy]

panopticon as fuck

as a witch she was supposed to be outside the globe looking in. through a series of events best phrased contemporaneously as “playing herself” it had turned out otherwise

but like whyy tho??

why would anyone read a Book that doesn’t spark their magic? why would anyone pay this much attention to a character they actively dislike and engage in complicated ruses to have removed from the stories?

it pains me to acknowledge this could be some form of magic. new corrupt spells from the bad wizard? [any gender can be a witch whether good or bad. but not this person. wizard is synonymous in every way except it isn’t derived from the native tongue of the vvitche, an honor, she had pettily decided, too painful to bestow] lingering remnants of his old ones? or was there another bad wizard in the midst? or some weird wild juju of indeterminate origin and moral appropriateness?

idk

i just know it makes me uncomfortable. i’ve felt its hostile presence everywhere for like two human years. its existence made no logical sense and i used my thusly discredited sense of it to undermine me on other things in dangerous ways. the magic’s been wrong across realms for awhile

magic works both ways with a Book of Shadows. theoretically a powerful enough interaction between pages and a hostile reader could leave even a completed works altered, perhaps irreparably so, and i’m not sure i should go on

perhaps the Board has a point

here is where she is a liar because while she might not have been the only source of dangerous magic—there was at least one corrupt wizard in the region, she had mistaken to great effect for a mundane—in her secret heart of hearts she had known for a long time, maybe all along

she started it

at a minimum, she opened the door

she tried to eat and have two cakes

every propagandist in human history knows you can tell a story and manifest a thing that didn’t previously exist. in a Book of Shadows a story can weave a spell. and she was not solely a witch. she was many other things and one of them was storyteller

of course the risk would be there, in her Book, even if she told herself you’re only writing down the honorable parts and keeping the rest inside in your soul

it is the soul from whence all springs, little mouse

here is the other part where she is a liar

she knew she wasn’t really going to maybe quit either. it was different than expected, less morally pristine, more reckless. but there was still beauty and powerful good in the pages

not all the secret watchers had stained it with malevolence. some touched the works with beneficial magic so lovely it alone justified continued existence in the present form

and the muse was the right one. one she’d learned in bittersweetly painful ways to trust

and the songs still felt true and right and beautiful

as the “writer,” if she existed, it wasn’t so much surprising—

she could argue there should have been warning. the content wasn’t ready. you still as of now haven’t seen the [*BENIGN and] creative place this is going [she was like grrm. but the content was still alive. there was time]

*yinze know i use content warnings. some people love a tragic story. some feel bait and switched when they get their hearts broken by a story they loved. i write both but i don’t trick people. to me that’s a shitty click baity and unnecessary way to get readers

we don’t do jump scares here. one of my central theses as an author is that compelling, exciting fiction, with high stakes, can in any genre including smut be created around moral characters who treat each other in morally sensitive ways and via moral stories that treat their audiences morally. these stories exist, they’re gorgeous, and since i didn’t find as many as i wanted, i started making my own

i’ve broken so may “i swear i’ll nevers” along the way

i’ll swear i’ll never write anything with sex shaming language [guy character calls his sister a whore, a word i promised myself i’d never replicate in any form]

i swear i’ll never write a rape scene. it’s not the worst thing that can befall a woman. for most women, if they really thought about it, it wouldn’t be as close to the top as they expected

so can we get some other storylines?? a lot of survivors have been encountering that one their entire lives and the scenes are really really unpleasant. plus while a lot of the fiction comes from women, the idea that this is the worst thing that can befall a woman is a cultural construct originating entirely with men

the other thing is they almost always treat the event itself as the trauma. i’m not familiar with a single example pre Unbelievable that understood sometimes the worse trauma is the reaction of others. [wrote a rape scene in a romance novel. i think ‘wind river’ is powerful art the existence of which improves the world. because it showed something impossible to tell. mattress girl’s “porno” does the same and should exist for the same reasons]

i swear i’ll never write a revenge story. i just couldn’t conceive being interested. still haven’t watched old boy eg. if morality is your guiding star, it answers every question about how to respond when someone wrongs you. to the extent the genre intends to differ from a “justice” story any “revenge” story i could love would definitionally have to be the former [might have written one. turns out i have a more complicated relationship with those themes than i thought. sometimes the hero’s cause is just but the nature of the remedy demanded by the context of the storylines opens the door for hatred and anger to influence proportionality in morally culpable ways

in my novel i weighed that. the villain received notice. my hero went no further than remedy demanded. if it seemed otherwise the flaw was in the author’s storytelling, not the character’s choices]

it’d be intellectually dishonest to deny i could fail more i swear i’ll nevers in the future. what i can say is two things:

1. i have no such works in progress, in mind, or alive in my head at this time and can’t foresee that changing anytime in the foreseeable future

2. if you haven’t encountered multiple content warnings (as my villain did) you’re not going to get ambushed with content

—as it is unexpected

i’m not sure it’s a good place for an author to be mental health wise to court a cult following of hate readers for a project so experimental they can see the words *of a Book of Shadows no less* being written—and deleted—in real time

can potentially alter its course with their attention

the presence of the observer changes things—in science and in fiction

[there was a reason she’d been telling the truth when she told that prelator she only sought or wanted a few acolytes who were perfect fits for the material. she really didn’t like to lie, even to someone who wouldn’t remember. wait. wrong “character.” nvm, all fiction lies]

but i don’t know. there might be something here

something lovely and worth telling. something sufficiently moral to justify its existence

[sometimes so do all truths]

[dork-master]

I love watching my parents watch "old" trendy shows, like all of Supernatural and all of Walking Dead, etc....

my mom was explaining to me why there's a mafia type deal shit goin on (I did NOT understand why not-dead people were killing each other) and then I dropped some old history on her by saying "you know back at the height of Walking Dead there used to be "if Daryll dies we riot" shirts at hottopic", which then prompted my mom to explain to me about his character ingeneral and about how "he was supposed to be dead" or whatever, but he's such a fan fave apparently, I mean. yinz know the story I think.

the signs of autism were always there, just had to pick the right content for them

sadly everytime I kept saying Norman Reedus tho, they had no clue who I was talking about so ya know, ya win sum ya lose sum

[obsessiveshayme]

If yinz want maybe a crumb of hopeful optimism in regards to the coaching staff…..my dads in his 60s, we’re natives of the burgh so needless to say he’s been following them wayyy longer than any of us. We were talking after they beat the wild and I went in on how bad coaching/management has been and he told me that when the pens start playing like they have, they’re trying to get rid of someone, and “last time it was their coach”. Said after that their play completely changed, so let’s all hope my dad is old AND wise and not just old 😂 I’d like to believe he’s right tho because outside of the core, our star players have been absolute garbage all year for no good reason, I mean look at rusty 🥴 we almost lost tanger and geno just to keep him, and he did not do us any favors this season.

This team all season was garbage. I love them but it's true. Outside of the core I don't feel like anybody really cared. Jake, Rusty, and others they all had big slumps this season.

I say they really need a big overhaul if they want to become relevant again and not turn into the Detroit Red Wings.

[healingwords]

I’m sorry for not being terribly active on here yesterday and today. I’ve not been feeling very well, and work has been taking it out of me moreso than usual as an end result.

[yardsards]

having a favourite character and being in a fandom is wild.

bc sometimes most of the fandom Gets Them and it's like hell yeah, fellow [character] enjoyers! and you have fun looking at each other's content or just unhinged rambles

other times the fanon is far from canon and also Worse and it's like, i don't know what character yinz are talking about; they have the same name and physical appearance as my blorbo but that is NOT my baby right there. (tho sometimes amidst the crappy fanon you will find fellow character enjoyers who Get Them like you do, you just gotta sift through So Much)

the former situation feels like communally raising a kid with a bunch of close friends who all love the kid as much as you do. the latter feels like court-ordered joint custody with your contemptuous ex wife sharon who doesn't even bother to remember what allergies your child has or keep an inhaler on hand

[radioprune]

tagged by your favorite local celebrities gia @giaucherie and B @frogeye-pierce to answer these!

nickname: haze

zodiac: libra 

height: 5′3″. i’m like davy jones but a girl

last movie i saw: love and mercy

last thing i googled: hail hail rock and roll

favorite musician: i don’t know!! as you all know my favorite band is the beatles but i don’t think any of them is my favorite musician still i’m having a phase with them rn and can’t think of anyone. carole king? george gershwin? scott joplin? 

song stuck in my head: picasso’s last words

other blogs: my main is @combefferre which i’m sure most of yinz know by now and that’s my only other one. i have my old url saved as well as another isirta one if i ever feel like shaking it up again

blogs following:  741? that’s seems like a lot idt half of those are active tbh

amount of sleep: usually i can’t stay asleep longer than like 6 hours :/

lucky number: 6! like 6 not 6 factorial haha a little math joke. for those who don’t know i did 75% of a math minor before i flunked out of it :-)

what am i wearing: my jammies :) a tshirt from my study abroad program and sweatpants that i got for free when i was working at a summer camp a couple years ago

dream job: novelist, english teacher, mailman. but with a walking route bc i don’t ever want to learn to drive

dream trip: i was supposed to go to the edinburgh fringe festival last summer and couldn’t for obvious reasons so i’d really love to do that!!!!

favorite food: peaches. close second is french fries with tzatziki sauce

play an instrument: piano, cello, guitar, bass to varying degrees of competence. guitar’s my best probably since even though i’ve been playing piano since i was 6 i only took lessons for a year so can only read bass clef from my experience w the cello. i know theory and can play by ear pretty well tho! at all times imagine i’m wearing a big t shirt that says i <3 music. 

languages: well? english. i took spanish for nine years but can barely get by, latin for 3 but that doesn’t really count, and i went to hebrew school for a few years but can only read and write it phonetically, not understand it

favorite songs: my favorite song off my favorite album is and will probably always be “i’m looking through you” for whatever reason, so there’s that. obviously the run of the mill demo, and currently “what am i doing hangin round” hiiiiiii mr michael nesmith i just want to talk

random fact: like about me or in general? umm i have a slight obsession with vexillology and can identify most country flags! and for instance for a few decades until 2011 the libyan flag was entirely green and the only national flag to be only one color. 

describe yourself as aesthetic things: ummm the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls, you know? city stuff, skyscrapers and rattling trains, the current of the river making it lap up against the pier, calloused fingertips and blisters on your ankles, the cold breeze you only feel when you’re near a body of water, the smell of old books (the smell of new books too), old tickets whether it’s for a train or a movie or a show, and converse sneakers. 

i’ll tag @raksheshi @fieryphrazes and @herrlichersonnigertag if you want!

[urfavehatescops]

Hey, I saw your post about school and wanted to make sure you knew that if school gets to be too much, it is completely fine to have to take a break and close asks for a bit until you're caught up and ready for more, especially with how things are right now. We all love your work and you, and we appreciate you very much. I hope you can stay safe during your schooling and have the best experience possible. Once again, we love you and your work, and we all appreciate you more than you know it, :3

awee, thanks for ur kind words!!! im not really planning on closing the inbox, however, mostly because this is something i like to do in my freetime, and thats really up to mod noe if they wanna close the inbox or not

dont worry tho!!! the queue, currently as it is, has posts scheduled to come out for the rest of this month & next month, so things are cool rn!!

but again, thanks for ur kind words!!! im glad u really enjoy this blog & im glad yinz welcomed me in when i joined this blog back in june & all of my additions to this blog!!! i hope to keep makign this blog the best it can be in the following year

as a bonus, if ya wanna keep sending in requests, thats totally fine!!! and if ya wanna follow another “your fave” blog, u can check out my own your fave blog!!! rn, as it is, im currently posting my own posts mostly, and i dont really get as many requests on that blog as i do on here, so if ya wanna send more requests 2 more “your fave” blogs, then u should check out @your-fave-is-sonic!!!!

but again, this inbox is almost empty, and we’re still open 2 requests rn, so if ya still wanna request stuff, go ahead!! id b willing 2 do requests :)!!

-mod ruby

[clownkiwi]

hehe, so since im in a video game mood rn and thinking a lot about old video games/video games i love, if you were to ask me “hey ruby!!! what games/sequels/trilogies would you like to see remade???” well, here’s which ones i think should get remade: (this’ll be a pretty long post, so you can just click the link down below if ya want to read the whole thing)

out of any old final fantasy game that should get a remake like the final fantasy 7 remake, if i had to choose one, it would have to be final fantasy 6. that’s just one of my favorite final fantasy games (right up there with final fantasy 7, that is), and like. final fantasy 6 is kind of the perfect bridging gateway game between the fantasy/medieval/middle earth early final fantasy games (from 1-5) to the futuristic/modern/grounded to earth final fantasy games (7, 8, 10, 13 & 15), so like. realistically??? final fantasy 6 is probably one of the only few games i think should get a final fantasy 7 remake-esque remake, and it is one that i think can work in that realistic style compared to something like. final fantasy 9 or final fantasy 4, ngl

super mario rpg, obviously, id love to see that game get a remake. maybe with like, a lot more characters (luigi & wario would work perfectly in there), any content they had to cut out, maybe add more to the game that we didn’t even think of that could work (like, not just story padding, maybe stuff like the koopalings, daisy, wart from mario 2). idk, id just like a super mario rpg remake done in a similar style to the link’s awakening switch remake

despite how important these games are to mario’s history as they are the first original handheld mario platformers, as well as introducing wario, another important mario character, it’s kinda weird how nintendo hasn’t really paid much attention to the super mario land trilogy, or even the wario land series. and while i think a new wario land game will certainly get everybody (myself included) very excited, id also get excited if the original mario land series got an all stars-esque remake. heck, id get excited if all the wario land games got remade too in their own package (like, the mario land trilogy will just have mario land 1, 2 & 3, while the wario land remakes can either start out with mario land 3, or virtual boy wario land, or even wario land 2)

i think the original paper mario trilogy of the 2000s should get their own remake/upscaled ports to the switch as well. stuff like paper mario 64 should obviously get remade from the ground up, while stuff like the thousand year door & super paper mario should get like. upscaled graphics, or even new content (like in the thousand year door, there should be a whole sidequest or extra campaign dedicated to luigi’s own journeys that he goes on at the same time as mario’s, i think thatd b pretty neat & funny)

if any megaman game were to get a remake, i think they should be like. the original zero storyline megaman x games. like, ya know, megaman x1-5. and while ik games like megaman x1-3 already get a lot of love, and megaman x5 doesnt really get as much hatred (i think??? i never finished that game), i think megaman x4 should get a lot more love. not only is it my favorite megaman x game, but like. it has a pretty good storyline, each character gets their own unique story, and like. i just like a lot about megaman x4, i really do, and im sad it commonly gets referred to as the worst megaman x game just because of its voice acting. it gets a lot of flack for its voice acting, and honestly, if the voice acting was just mediocre or average, then i really think a lot more people will appreciate this game. like, in my eyes, if megaman x1-5 got remakes in the cel-shaded rendered style of megaman 11 or dragon ball fighterz, then thatd b cool. id also b down to a new megaman x game too aoisdjfiaos

ok, so, kirby games!!!! ik stuff like kirbys adventure & kirby’s super star got remakes, and while they’re great, id love to see more kirby games get remakes!!! and i got two seperate candidates that’d work. and that first one will be a remake of the “dark matter” trilogy of kirby games. games like kirby’s dream land 2, kirby’s dream land 3, & kirby 64. i think these games are pretty important in the kirby series as not only are these the first instance of the deep lore seen in later kirby games (stuff like return to dream land, planet robobot, and star allies), but like. dream land 2 was the first game to introduce kirbys animal allies, which have become staples for a lot of the kirby games (dream land 3, wow, thats all i could really think of oasidjfio). so like, yea!!! thatd b pretty epic

another kirby “trilogy” id love to see get remade or even get remasters of onto switch would have to be the “return to dream land” games. games like kirby’s return to dream land and even the 3ds games that were built off of that: kirby’s triple deluxe & kirby’s planet robobot. i mean, these games are fairly recent, and stuff like return to dream land isn’t even 10 years old yet. but like, i think if these games got upscaled graphics/models & resolution, as well as a bunch of new/cut content, it can also work

oooooooooooooooooo boy, there are a lot of sonic games id love to see get remade considering i think about sonic alot. stuff like sonic 3 & knuckles getting the sonic 1, 2 & cd treatment (get upgraded ports to ios & android, a bunch of new content from sonic mania, etc), as well as said sonic 1 & 2 mobile ports get released to steam or other consoles. itd be cool to see shadow the hedgehog get an upgraded port to the switch for a low price. maybe even see sonic x-treme get completed. but if theres any sonic game id love to see get a full on, worked from the ground up remake, it’d have to be the sonic dreamcast trilogy. and by that, i mean sonic games that were worked off of the same dreamcast technology/engine. games like sonic adventure 1, 2 & sonic heroes. and like, not just stuff like the gamecube or steam ports. i mean, full on remakes with updated models, updated animations & cutscenes, updated rendering, updated voice acting, updated everything!!! with that, id love to see the chao garden get a full blown overhaul, with more deeper chao breeding, more games to play with your chao, more special, unique chaos & even stuff like chao bonuses to the main campaigns. and even somethign that’d be cooler would be like. either free updates or DLC that would add more campaigns to these games with new characters (like the babylon rogues, the classic characters, silver & blaze, etc), and like. i KNOW thats a lot to work on, but like, i think a lot of people would appreciate that. plus, i consider the sonic adventure games would be a perfect introduction to the sonic series, i think these games could get a lot more people hooked onto the series!!! new & old fans alike!!! but, thats just my thots, and this would be impossible realistically. id still want it 2 happen tho 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

while ik everyone wants that gen iv remake, may i recommend a??? gen v remake??? pokemon black & white are still one of my favorite pokemon games, they were very close to me growing up, and i. just have so much goddamn appreciation and love for this game!!!! i think its one of game freaks more underappreciated games, and ik there a ton of people that can agree with me on that!!! it was just such a different and unique experience, with such a deep story, really good and underappreciated and underloved pokemon designs, and just. i’d love it if we really got a gen 5 remake, especially seeing how much game freak has been putting a lot more gen 5 nostalgia in all of their recent products (from a ton of gen 5 pokemon appearing in detective pikachu, to gen v pokemon getting galarian forms in pokemon sword & shield, and even gen v pokemon appearing in a lot more spin offs lately). like. trust me, pokemon black and white isn’t really as bad as people made it off to be in 2011. it really is a modern masterpiece in video games, i really recommend checking it out and begging game freak to give it a remake about as much as yinz have been begging game freak to remake diamond & pearl

obviously mario 64, sunshine, & galaxy 1 & 2 should get full on remakes. yinz know i wanted one this whole year, and im very disappointed we got these barely upgraded ports to switch instead. thats it on that, i dont need to go into further detail

ummmmmmmmmm, yea, thats kinda it. i cant think of any other games id love to see get remade. ummmmmmmm let me know what u think about this list, and tell me whatever type of other games you’d love to see get remade!!!

thats it ruby out

[stayjisung01]

Yes like what is this crap. Yinz are making it rough for everyone who just trying to get together and enjoy the damn show. Get outta here w your negativity and bs please!!

literally nobody hates the voltron fandom more than the fandom itself and that’s a fact

[thedoctorisadhd]

what's once on this island about?

i hope ur happy anon, bc this took me literally like six hours im not exaggerating even a little

short answer: so u take the original plot of the littlest mermaid and u plunk it down rIGHT in the middle of 1920s haiti, right

long answer (like, REALLY long answer. like REALLY long. im sorry i dont know how to summarize when there are so many good things):

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

“where the sea, sparkling in the sun, earns it the name, ‘jewel of the antilles.’”

“an island where the poorest of peasants labor —”

“— and the wealthiest of the grand hommes lay.”

“two different worlds on one island!”

“the grand hommes, owners of the land and masters of their own fates.”

“and the peasants, eternally at the mercy of the wind and sea, would pray constantly to the gods.”

those are the four storytellers, beginning the play. lydia started the first line, then abby, then dori, then natalie, and repeat.

(oh yeah, also this is the jr version. also, i dont know everything bc i was backstage the majority of the time)

so the gods that the beach people / peasants are dancing to, theres 4 of them. asaka (played by lavanya in our production) is the goddess of the earth, erzulie (played by luke who’s closeted, so i change it to a god, erzulio) beautiful goddess of love. agwe (played by ian) is the god of the sea, and papa ge (eli, of course, and it’s literally pronounced papa gay), my personal favorite, is the sly demon of death

and this is all described in the first number “we dance”

stay tuned yo it gets better.

(its so good. dont ever listen to any version besides the chatham one i can guarantee you that any non-eli papa ge, any non-luke erzulie / erzulio, any non-lavanya asaka, any non-ian agwe, any non-lydia / dori / abby / natalie storyteller will not be as good)

so basically theres this storm, and in this storm is a little girl and the gods are like “no papa ge we’re not killing her you fuck” and they irresponsibly plunk her down in a tree

and so tonton julien (ben) and mama euralie (izzy) come along & are like “holy shit a kid” (and this girl is crying her eyes out of course bc as mr adam creatively put it to the girl who played young ti moune, “you were just dropped in a tree by some randos you’ve never seen before in your entire life”) but like theyre poor and dont have a lotta food and shit so they try to leave but the gods, showing some small modicum of responsibility, like, use the force to pull them back. so these peasants adopt ti moune and name her ti moune and theres a whole big number about her growing up called “one small girl” which i quite like actually

then ti moune is grown up (sammie) and she sings about like “whats my destiny yo” all naive in “waiting for life” and sees a car which is a big ol lead-in to the next number. which brings us to

so in the beginning of “rain” theres this HILARIOUS section of dialogue with the gods picking mangos and here it is bc i cant not include it man

asaka: 🎵 pick a mango! 🎵

agwe: 🎵 a juicy mango! 🎵

erizulie: 🎵 a lovely mango! 🎵

papa ge, being Himself: 🎶 a poison mango! 😈 🎶

[all of the other gods look at papa ge]

anyway, after that theyre all proposing things to do to get ti moune less naive, with such wonderful suggestions from these dumbasses as “splash her with a wave” and “scare her half to death”. and then erzulie is like “yeah u do that imma give her what she wants bye” and the other gods are like “????????????” and shes just like “You Heard Me” and just goes like “Love Can Conquer Anything!!!!!!! :)))))))) ❤️💞💕💚💛💙💜💝💘💗💖❣️” and papa ge is like “that’s bullshit this whole thing is bullshit that’s a scam fuck the love here’s like two reasons why” and they argue (and asaka remarks that this is “more amusing than mangos”) and the gods are all “HMMMM🤔🤔” and then they all go “A BET!”

and the gods all start like pitching in to set up this bet, so like erzulie gives her strength and asaka’s gonna guide her but then papa ge interrupts like “IM GONNA MAKE HER CHOOSE” and then johnny boy i mean ian i mean agwe then calls dibs on choosing the circumstances of the bet

and u remember that car right? well ian agwe is like “that. thats the place where the 2 worlds meet” and he creates a big ol storm and in the song he says (one of my favorite lines, actually) “rain makes the road such a dangerous place” (he did amazing in that song but i feel kinda bad bc like. he was overshadowed by the other gods who are all incredible singers, and parts of it were too low for him. like, eli can sing as high as he did, but ian really cant sing that low)

also they used the fish flags from the seussical two years ago when sammie’s sister sidne played the cat in the hat. i always found it hilarious that dori of all people they couldve chosen played a fish

ANYWAY. so the car is goin down the road and crash oh no a car accident. totally not what agwe was (shot)gunning for

and so ti moune pulls this guy outta the car right, and — by the way, now we’re in this super intense number called “pray” — and this song is real fuckin good alright.

my opinion upon this is based almost solely on the fact that within the first like ten lines of this epically long song a peasant, talking about the guy that got pulled outta the car (daniel, that’s his name), says, literally: “papa ge wants him!” i will remind you that papa ge is pronounced “papa gay” and what makes it even more astronomically fuckin funny is that both hank, the guy that played daniel, and eli, who as u may know played papa ge, are mlm.

anyway no one wants to help daniel even tho he’s Actively Dying bc Fuck The Grand Hommes, Am I Right Guys We Cant Do Anything Were Peasants And There Is Sanctity That We Must Never Talk To Look At Or Think About A Single Grand Homme, Ever™ but ti mounes gonna help him bc Fuck You Guys and she keeps him alive while tonton julien goes to find the guys family after she’s Finally persuaded the guy to do this

and ti moune doesnt sleep for Three Fucken Days by the way. thats important in the next number

also daniel is supposed to be good looking so of course ti moune Falls In Love With Him despite never having seen him before in her entire life, and also hes unconcious the Whole time. i dont understand the heterosexuals

anyway, tonton juliens at the gate to daniels family hotel and he’s like “pls let me in i need to speak to monsieur beausome!” and the gatekeepers like “get the fuck away my guy” and hes like “no but its urgent!!” and the gatekeeper SLAPS BEN [LAST NAME REDACTED]*

so ben i mean tonton recovers and like seriously gets down on his knees and begs and the gatekeeper is still like “FUCK! NO!” and then ben fucking [last name redacted]* SCREAMS SAVAGELY “I HAVE FOUND HIS SON!” HOO BOY

and then at the end of pray you hear a long high note and then one specific girl takes it HIGHER ????????? idk who it is for sure but im willing to put my money on lavanya bc jesus christ can that girl sing

*people always say bens full name when referring to him for some reason, so it’s not ben bc which ben? it’s not ben b. it’s ben [last name redacted].

so pray goes ge STRAIGHT into forever yours. not the reprise, thats later.

so. forever yours. in a STUNNING turn of events (sarcasm. absolutely the least stunning thing after the whole “papa gay wants him” in pray), the VERY fucking FIRST LINE IN THIS WHOLE FUCKING STUPID HEARTFELT SONG is literally ti moune saying “i am a tree, holding away the storm”. are you fucking serious. are you kidding me. you waste the first line on that monstrosity,

anyway basically what happens in this is ti moune is singing about tending to daniel here it is

i am a tree holding away the stormhere in my arms i’ll keep u safe and warmeven the gods wont dare to cross this linewhere my life is forever yoursand you are mine

and on that last word, “mine”, papa ge joins in and it is fuckin CHILLING, not LEAST bc eli has the voice of a fuckin angel (and sammie too, but i think eli’s is just slightly better)

so eli stalks in and the first thing papa ge does, in a True demonstration of the gay / ge agenda, is Drag The Het.

(then he goes on to say “this boy is mine”)

so eli’s also got a knife (a fake one) and this is another Important Thing so yeah

anyway sammie ti moune should “TAKE MINE FOR HIS.” (her life she meant) and papa ge is SHOOK. he just … stops. “wot”

so yeah. ti moune, in one of The most IMPRESSIVE displays of heterosexual tomfoolery and ridiculousness i have Yet Seen (scene), trades her life for this Complete Fuckin Stranger she pulled out of the car wreck whomst has not as of yet spoken a Single word to her bc HE’S BEEN UNCONSCIOUS THE WHOLE TIME!?

and heres another good line, the first gay daddy nico diangelo himself eli papa gay papa ge has had since “wot”: i am the road / leading to no return

(and this is also where eli goes REALLY high. like not for basically everyone else, but for him)

then daniels two dads apparently, grant and hugh, pick him up and take him back to the hotel and ti moune is like “NOOOOOOO” and makes mama and tonton let her leave to go find daniel, and frankly i am not very interested in this specific part of the song so fuck that i skipped it lmao lets get to lavanyas fuckin SOLO

alright. “mama will provide”. exactly what it says on the tin, taking it into account that asaka would be mother earth i guess

really all this one is is lavanya’s fuckin angelic voice and What Exists In Nature, and i cant very well put lavanya’s voice down on the page for yinz to hear can i? the only notable thing i can really think of besides this next piece a dialogue  will share w u is in the beginning theres a bunch of ensemble doing weird repeating acapella and some hopping in like frogs. “COO COO coo coo cOO COO COOO” “SHAH shaSHA-ah” “buuuuu BUM! BUM! bum” its sounds slightly weirder than it is

anyway here’s the best dialogue:

everyone: MOSQUITOS??

asaka: HA!

ACT TWO HERE WE FUCKIN GO ALRIGHT

ok, so ti moune finds daniel who doesnt know who she is bc, you know, he was unconscious the entire time. she gets him to know she was the one who nursed him tho. and they go to the front of the stage and ti moune sits and daniel puts his head on her lap. again, poor hank

now, “human heart”. jesus. i have literally cried over this song.

so erzulie goes out on stage to where hank is slowly suffering, probably, and sings this GODS DAMN BEAUTIFUL SONG about like, love n shit i guess. the storytellers and the other three gods act as a sort of choir. that’s pretty much all there is to say about human heart tho. moving on

ok so for “pray (reprise)” the gossipers (which are apparently supposed to be the storytellers, but fuck that thats lame, give my Cool Hoes lianna and taylor parts tbh) go out on stage and sing about how daniel is spending all his time w a peasant and shes a witch and yadda yadda yadda. and then theres some lame romance shit that i dont have fuckin time for

anyway, the song culminates with daniel’s father comin out on stage (lmao). which father, u ask? he had two of em? well that was grant and hugh, this one’s iain. conclusion: daniel has three polyamorous gay dads. this is the gayest production of a play ive ever seen. i mean papa ge? “papa ge wants him”? the fact that tonton means uncle so mama euralie and tonton julien arent married? “this boy is mine” coming from daddy gay himself? the fact that daniels last name means beautiful man? the “beautiful god of love” (as luke said, refusing to misgender himself in his introduction U GO LUKE)? the fact that out of the main cast (the 4 gods, the 4 storytellers, daniel, ti moune, andrea, mama euralie, and tonton julien) there are literally eight (8) actors who Arent straight (id bet that two others arent str8 and or / cis as well but im not sure)? just change daniel to danielle and itll be perfect

ayway daniel’s 3rd dad comes out on stage and tells him to stop this nonsense, young man ANYWAY NEXT SONG

in “some girls” the rich guys at the hotel all are doing a really lame colorless boring dance. then this girl andrea (ava) comes out and sings about the rumors about ti moune, that she’s stupid or wild, and daniel tells her to stop, then ti moune arrives and andrea really condescendingly asks her to dance for everyone and daniel encourages ti moune

so ti moune does a slow lame dance and then it gets loud and wild and fun! then when she’s done andrea goes to daniel and is like “she’s in love with you you oblivious fuck if you care at all you’ll tell her —” (unclear about what he’s caring about) and andrea is interrupted by ti moune who’s like “HI I HEARD MY NAME WHATCHA WANT ANDREA” and daniel goes and breaks her fuckin heart right

how he does this is he’s like “oops sorry i thought u would realize that we could never marry bc andrea and i are already engaged (since we were babies)”. daniel demonstrates an amazing amount of calmness about being forced to marry this girl he’s known all his life, and an incredible amount of insensitiveness bc TI MOUNE WAS NEVER FUCKIN TOLD THAT HE WAS ENGAGED. honestly i loathe literally every single character in this play except for the gods and the storytellers lmao

OK NOW FOR MY FAVORITE FUCKIN ONE WOW :~)

the reprise of forever mine.

so. ti moune is alone on stage and she goes like “gods please are u listening help me” and then. u hear. eli’s fucking amazing evil laugh and the gay himself appears

and he’s like u gotta keep ur promise ti moune im here to collect on that Soul

did i mention elis voice is beautiful? no i dont care, im sayin it again, eli [last name redacted] has the voice of an angel

anyway he’s like “u gave him ur soul, now u have to PAY” (the line he used here is “i am the price you’ll pay” and that sounds cool as shit)

and so “father homosexual,” as he was dubbed by luke, takes out his knife and sings “your life is forever mine” and holds the knife to ti mounes neck and ti moune yells “PLEASE DONT” and and and

he stops.

“trade your life for his.”

so papa ge gives her the knife and tells her to go stab daniel and he sings “i am the road that leads to no return” as he walks to the left side of the stage, and erzulie appears at the right side and sings human heart as papa ge continues with his verse from the first forever mine as ti moune struggles towards and away from daniel, straining, being pulled by opposite forces, love and death, and the two unite in singing “forever mine!” and ti moune casts the knife to the floor and screams “NO!”

and the music stops

and daniel sees the knife and picks it up

and says “why?!”

(fuckin bitch shoulda stabbed him when she had the chance)

and ti moune gets cast out and like, withers away at the gate neither eating nor sleeping, and then daniel comes to the gate with andrea at his wedding and sees ti moune and gives her a coin when she runs after him, and she collapses and the gods, sOMEHOW GAINING SOME MINISCULE VIEW OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR FUCKIN ACTIONS, all start CRYING. (erzulie won the bet) and erzulie hugs ti moune and papa ges probably off somewhere feeling sorry for himself bc you cant fuckin see him in the footage (nah, he’s off at the side of the stage with the other two gods neither of whomst you can see either), and mama euralie comes to sing this sad and pretty number “part of us” and then tonton and baby ti moune arrive as well for some fuckin reason,

and mama euralie says,

“and then the gods blessed her and turned her into —”

and then the gods hit their staffs on the floor (ian a bit gentlier bc his was falling apart bc he wouldnt stop fucking licking the fucking ribbons, ian) “a tree!”

and the tree comes up, forwards this time thankfully (phew) and and the tree fuckin cracks the walls of the hotel, get rekt scrubs, and the tree fuckin stalks daniel i guess, and daniels son sits by the tree and looks up and theres a peasant girl in its branches, and ti moune touches everyones hearts and also their livers, and everyone starts singing “why we tell the story”

also, fun story real quick, ive never actually seen eli dab i dont think (that’s something i need to accomplish real soon), and the dance he went off to the side and did with like, lydia, and agwe and ben [last name redacted] and daniels son and hugh — i guess all the boys in musical theater and also lydia, and the dance they have to do looks pretty damn like dabbing, and like, eli’s holding his staff so he cant do a true dab, really, but he can do a one armed one — but no. his dancing looks more like fuckin waving. ben [last name redacted] is dabbing, daniels son is dabbing, im like 80 percent sure ian’s dabbing directly behind eli, gloria’s dabbing in the back, but no, nOT ELI. im pretty sure he’s deliberately avoiding it smh

anyway

whOOP exciting parts over. now it’s time for Sad Half Circle Around Tree Girl i guess

“the stories that we weave,” and the storytellers and daniel’s son and the peasant girl in tree moune’s branches all come to the front and —

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

[guentzelvania59]

So I have 300 followers now.... um wtf.... I love yinz tho 💗💗

[pghbabesonbikes]

Frigid Bitch 2017 Results

The Frigid Bitch 2017 was epic. Not the same way 2016's Bitch was epic: no snowstorms, no ice, no subzero wind chills. This time, finally, the Frigid Bitch did not manage to fall on the coldest shittiest day of the year. February 11th 2017, while bookended by cold as fuck weekends, was a testament to the upswing in unseasonably warm weather, lending some cheeky volunteers to dub it the "Tepid Bitch." Nevertheless, the event smashed records if not with the temperature, with the crowds. Eighty-two women came out to race; exactly twice as many as last year, and a number that is surpassed in Pittsburgh's women's races only by the 1997 US Pro Women's Championship at the Thrift Drug Classic (a race that, perhaps relevantly, offered a $25,000 prize purse to the 100 women field).

Local racers met at Spirit to register, chow on pizza brunch, and strategize their routes. Comin in hot from Philly was a car full of killer ladies, burning time stuck on the turnpike trying to make the start!

Everyone else got their manifest at registration; the Philly babes got theirs via text message.

    Crowds of exuberant ladies lined up on and took over 51st st in Lawrenceville, tucking their spoke cards into their wheels, picking their layers, talking route and generally havin' a good time.

                           At 1pm the whistle blew and they were off! Aaand the light at the end of the street immediately turned red to give advantage to those willing to run it.

    CHECK POINTS! The 9 total checkpoints were split into 4 open for the first hour of the race, 4 open for the second, and one open the whole time. The split in times for checkpoint locations essentially doubled the distance racers had to ride to hit every spot, and forced them to gamble on whether their speed got them to final checkpoints before they closed. Rialto Though one of the closest checkpoints from the start, as one of the 13 hills hundreds of riders race up every November for the agonizing Dirty Dozen LINK , Rialto was definitely the most intimidating chunk of this year's Bitch. Racers huffed it up the 27% grade…or took the sidewalk stairs.

        Free Ride Pittsburgh's best DIY non profit bike work shop brought racers out to the edge of the East End.

        The Cathedral of Learning Towering above Pitt campus and taking up a whole city block, the Cathedral is kinda hard to miss. Hardest part was probably finding the right entrance.

    Schenley Oval A staple of the urban Pgh racing scene, racers sped down Washington Blvd to check themselves off at the barren mid-winter bike track. The Point When the fountain at Point State Park was used as a checkpoint at the very first "frozen fountain" themed Frigid Bitch, racers belted across a crackling frozen snowscape towards the popsicled volunteers in the distance. This year? Less snow, more step riding.

    Penn Brewery It's the oldest brewery in Pittsburgh, people generally know where it is! Need we say more?

        Phipps Conservatory A lot of racers decided to hit the Cathedral as the last of their first-half checkpoints and then immediately sail the very short distance over to Phipps, where volunteers were waiting. With smiles. And cookies.

    Highland Park Reservoir Another staple loop for Pgh urban cyclists and checkpoint in the original Frozen Fountains Frigid Bitch, the HP Res was significantly less icy this year.

    The Penitentiary Looming at the very end of the North Shore Trail, the Penitentiary stands as a portal to Riverview Park, the Mckees Rocks Bridge and Neville Island, home of Pgh's abandoned velodrome. Tho it was the furthest checkpoint from Spirit, over half the racers bolted up and down the trail setting Strava records to make it.

THE FINISH Racers had to make it back to Spirit before the cut off, make it snappy with the bike locks and elbow their way through crowds to find ALK and get a time in.

Ladies grabbed pizza, ordered drinks, and compared race strategies and routes during the hour it took to crunch the results. Three prize tables were set up next to the stage with a mountain of swag donated from all our amazing sponsors, enough for literally every single one of the 81 racing women to go home with multiple grabs.

    They gabbed, they took stock of the goods, and they waited, until finally….

ALK and Scott K prepare to announce... THE RESULTS! In first place, returning from a 4th place finish last year: #54 VICTORIA VERCELLOTI

SECOND PLACE: #23 SUZ FALVEY THIRD PLACE: #48 SHEQUAYA BAILEY

4 - Sarah Skelly #12 5 - Lydia Yoder #44 6 - Elise Rowe #10 7 - Josie Lacoe #15 8 - Acadia Klain #37 9 - Anna Biebersmorf #51 10 - Megan Sybeldon #24

    11 - Danielle Millet #72 12 - Sarah Ralich #8 13 - Robyn Stewart #1 14 - Monica VanDieren #4 15 - Shanna Stojakovich #7 16 - Tricia Chicka #11 17 - Barbara Jensen #20 18 - Molly Moore #62 19 - Lucy Bender #71 20 - Maria Bajzek #49 21 - Taylor Kyuk-White #666 22 - Alex O.K. #63 23 - Chloe Newman #6 24 - Alyssa Crawford #50 25 - Laura SanBoeuf #57 26 - Sienna Cittadino #52 27 - Dani Erdos #30 28 - Ngani Ndimbie #70 ...Katy Popple #3 ...Franky Montenegro #22 31 - Paula Zamora #34 32 - Anne Sobol #78 33 - Kate Carney #32 34 - Lieu Wolf #53 35 - Elise Fanto #47 36 - Lauryn Stalter #55 ...Anita Arguello #79 38 - Lan Tram #59 39 - Lindsay Dill #67 40 - Stephanie Bercht #56 ...Allison Glick #17 42 - Ang Urban #39 43 - Lizzy Nolin #2 ...Alex Falk #9 ...Megan Hynes #13 ...Sarah Khalil #27 ...Hayes Vif #28 ...Maya Henry #38 ...Megan Andrews #41 ...Rachael Shockey #45 ...Lauren Renaud #58 ...Leah Nicolich #61 ...Tracy Yenchick #64 ...Kate Campbell #65 ...Stacy Grimes #69 ...Victoria Bleiweiss #75 ...Sarah Pearman #77 58 - Caitlin Woodson #16 ...Katie Walker #25 ...Cassandra Malis #26 ...Antonella Polito #29 ...Di-ay Battad #33 ...Gianna Fazioli #42 ...Laura Lythos #46 ...Megan Loftus #68 ...Qat Gregor #73 ...Angela Ryu #74 ...Naomi Anderson #76 ...Maggie Feinstein #80 ...Jenn Batterton #81 71 - Sarah Scherk #18 ...Rebecca Label #31 ...Lauren Delorenze #35 ...Erin Potts #36 ...Liz Reid #40 ...Katharine Jordan #82 77 - Lauren Attwood #14 ...Bridget Ward #19 ...Marie Knupp #21 ...Elana Szymkowiak #43 ...Sarah Mateskovich #60

        MEGA THANKS to all of our sponsors, without which I doubt we'd have gotten 80+ women to show up and race! Thank you to all the dudes (and some ladies) who volunteer every year, usually having to lounge around in freezing temps for a few hours and always smiling. I can never thank our photographers enough, without yinz we wouldn't have the hundreds of killer photographs to turn into profile pics, instagram posts, and, crucially, race hype for next year! Thank you Spirit Pgh for hosting, Bike Pgh for lending the racks, Di-ay and Qat for helping screen the shirts and bandanas, Mattie Cannon for being a general day-of assistant, and Thomas Kempen for the AWESOME flyer image! If you loved reading about this race but wish it had been a rough snowy icy for-real FRIGID event, check out the results from Frigid Bitch 2016.

                                                             See you next year!

[clownkiwi]

i, a and c for the ask?

A- are you single?

yep!!! i am :’))-

C- crush?

oki, since yinz are so persistent on a crush, i’ll just pull a random slip of paper in rubys “list of crushes” list i totally have prepared

oki, so one person i am crushing on is,,,

women

wait, why did i write down women here???

oh, wait, thats right, im wlw, right, of course

I- in love?

with a friend??? kinda :/// even tho i havent heard from him in a while n im worried about him n i do hope 2 hear from him bc i miss hearing from him & talking 2 him :///

send me more letters 2 my inbox from this!!!

[yardsards]

btw i have a growing playlist of completely non-romantic songs here (warning, a couple of em have sorta dark subject matter)

my criteria that i use to decide to put a song on this list:

-no romance whatsoever (songs that mention romance not involving the singer/main character of the song, (i.e. mentions something like going to a friend's wedding) can stay as long as it's not the central focus of the song)

-minimal mentions of sex (both bc i am aroace but also because most allo songwriters lump sex and romance together and are implying romance when they talk about sex. i kinda decide on a case by case basis tho)

-if it is unclear whether the love the song is talking about is platonic or romantic, i look into the song meaning and the author's intentions to make the verdict of if it can go on here or not

-soundtracks and fansongs may be added only if the lyrics are fully enjoyable with 0 context of the source material

-joke songs are permitted but only if i REALLY REALLY like them, because otherwise silly songs would monopolize the whole playlist

-no instrumental songs with no lyrics, because *obviously* those have no mentions of romance. i want to hear non-romantic lyrics, not just an absence of romantic lyrics, y'know?

-song lyrics should usually be at least partially in english, cuz english is the only language i speak (unless you count non-fluent spanish lol), and i wanna be able to really understand/appreciate the non-romantic lyrics when i listen to em without having to memorize their meaning. a few non-english verses are cool tho

-they must appeal somewhat to my very arbitrary and varied taste in music, because while this is something i like to share with everyone, it's also something that i started making for *myself* to listen to

ANYWAY i wholeheartedly accept/encourage yinz to give me recommendations. bonus points if the artist is lesser known/indie. bonus bonus points for queer artists/artists of colour/disabled artists/etc.

(try to read a song's lyrics before you recommend it: way more songs than you'd expect have mentions of romance that you don't notice until you read the lyrics. i had So Many songs that i was gonna add only to read the lyrics and be like "...wait, there's romance in this???").

being aroace and having to hear love songs all the time feels like when all the stores and radio stations have been playing christmas music since november and like. they're not *bad* songs and there's actually a good bit of variation in genres and moods and even variation in the subjects (like, they're all about christmas but. they're also about family or romance or the weather or kindness or religion in addition to that).

but you are just so tired of the fact that almost all of the songs are about christmas. it's not even that you dislike the concept of christmas (and you even like some of the christmas songs) but it just seems bonkers how everyone around you seems to not be growing even a little tired of all the christmas after being over-exposed to it after almost 2 months.

the difference, of course, is that the love songs don't go away in january

[clownkiwi]

i love all of my friends equally tho!!! yinz moots and friends and followers are really cool and epic and you all should deserve ur own attention. but this is emma time now B-))))

honestly i don't see where "emma's a Dangerous TERF and she reblogs terf shit behind your back and she's just using u!!!!" coming from when i really talked to her and she

and i