#I love this disaster wizard so damn much

[fidgetspringer-art]

It's a very cool feeling to finally have a character you've written over 110k words about, be able look back at you from the canvas.

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

I Keep Thinking About a Gale x Ace!Tav x Astarion AU

It makes no damn sense. Compels me though.

Let me be clear, this would be an AU and not a continuation of the “canon” I’ve established with Ace!Tav. It’s just not how I picture their story playing out. All the same, I keep circling back to this in my brain. Call it a thought experiment.

I’m probably not going to write a full fic for it. So, if anybody wants to take this general idea and run with it, feel free. Just give me a shoutout. Or if you guys are curious about this AU drop me an ask and I’ll answer with some rambles.

Speaking of, shoutout to @leighsartworks216 for letting me ramble to them about it.

Astarion x Ace!Tav Masterlist (for reference)

Cards on the table, none of these people are ready for a poly relationship

Gale is explicitly monogamous and ties sex and romantic love intimately together. Astarion is still dealing with the idea of being enough and just ✨the trauma✨ . Meanwhile Tav has their own abandonment issues and is just waiting for Astarion to get bored and leave. And yet! This disaster trio won’t leave me alone.

So this whole thing gets started when Astarion approaches Tav about wanting to experiment with sex again

He knows Tav isn't interested in sex and doesn't want to make them feel pressured into having it just to please him, so they talk about opening up in the relationship

Tav is hesitant about it, but also doesn't want this to be the reason Astarion leaves and so agrees

They convince themselves that if Astarion wants to have a one night stand, it’s fine; so long as he’s not seeking out his emotional needs with other people then there’s no risk of him wanting to end things; this is, of course, a terrible way to handle it

So, with that hanging over their heads they reconnect with Gale over some quest (maybe getting a magical item to allow Astarion to walk in the sun)

Gale has been teaching and while happy is admittedly still a bit lonely so is grateful to see his friends again

Gale and Tav always had a close relationship, but seeing them again does stir up some of those old feelings he'd let lie because, you know, the Absolute (headcanon here for further details)

Gale internally berates himself for this because he 1) knows Tav is ace and therefor not interested in a sexual relationship which is something he prioritizes when it comes to romance and 2) Tav is clearly still in a loving relationship with Astarion, so he's not going to be the asshole to get in the middle of all that

He tells himself it’s just the loneliness talking and pushes that shit down

So, he starts getting closer to Astarion who, while still a bit of a rogue, has mellowed a bit and worked on some of his more selfish instincts

Honestly, having the opportunity to see how much Astarion is devoted to Tav increases his opinion of the man

He and Astarion’s relationship is still antagonistic, but much more playful than before

This culminated in a moment when Astarion and Tav are checking in on each other after a trap goes off

Astarion pulls them close a moment kissing Tav on the temple once it’s clear they’re fine

Gale watches this interaction, his stomach twisting with familiar jealousy, but pauses as his mind screeches to a halt realizing “wait, am I jealous of Astarion or Tav?"

Meanwhile Astarion is a bit surprised at Gale being more friendly with him, but he can't say he's complaining. He knows Tav missed him, and while he had his own jealousies early in the relationship, he's since moved passed it. Gale was the one to help him ultimately get together with Tav after all.

He makes more of an effort to get to know the wizard one on one and finds himself looking more and more

There is something oddly endearing when he rambles

Gods he really is a powerful wizard (connotation: scared and horny)

Did his robes always show off his chest hair like that

He really does make Tav happy

Until one morning he's laying in bed and snaps up enraged with himself like, "GALE?! OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU CAN FEEL COMPELLED TO FUCK. FUCKING GALE?!?!?!?!"

Full existential crisis

Yes, they said opening the relationship, but he knows how nervous Tav feels about it. They’ve told him about their past relationships and how so many of them fell apart when the topic of sex came up

But he also knows he can’t do a one night stand; he needs to trust the person he’s having sex with, he wants it to mean something

He knows Gale and he knows it would mean something with him

He also knows Gale’s opinion on monogamy; would he force him to choose between him and Tav? Would Gale even want to be with him? Astarion knows Gale used to feel deeply for Tav

And what if it ends badly? Gale is Tav’s friend, his friend. Fuck, this can’t be happening

Meanwhile Tav is reconnecting with Gale and is like, “Gods I did miss him…oh wait I like *missed* him, missed him”. But pushes that shit down because, again, in a very loving relationship with Astarion which they won’t risk for anything and 2) Gale has made it clear that sex is something he values in a relationship as a form of intimacy.

They knew they couldn’t give him that then and they can’t now

Tav is also starting to notice how Astarion is looking at Gale

They’re much more in tune with his emotions and can see he’s interested

Tav starts to feel jealous and then feels guilty for doing so because they said opening the relationship was fine

Gale is wonderful. They know he’d treat Astarion the way he deserves. They could hardly blame Astarion for ultimately choosing him

They knew deep down they were just a stepping stone on Astarion’s road to recovery. If he can be with someone who can give him so much love and sex, why would he need them?

It also doesn’t help that as they start noticing Astarion looking at Gale, they see Gale looking right back

They do feel deeply for Gale, but know his thoughts on monogamy

Besides, they turned him down before, they can’t expect Gale to have held onto those feelings

So they start to slowly distance themselves from both men, resolving that if Astarion approaches them about it, they’re not going to stand in his way.

This course of action causes all of them to start driving themselves crazy in their own heads

Astarion is scrambling because they can sense Tav pulling away and is desperate to figure out what’s wrong, but Tav won’t tell them anything

Gale can see it too and so is pushing down all of his emotions because “Tav I know you love Astarion and Astarion loves you, so what’s going on”

Tav can’t confide in him either so they just don’t say anything

This leaves Astarion and Gale to start confiding in each other more because what’s going on?

Finally Astarion spills everything to Gale, he and Tav opening their relationship, his fears about them leaving, and becuase he’s got a good idea why they’re pulling away

Gale is admittedly a bit obtuse about it which prompts Astarion to grab him by the front of the robes and start kissing him

Gale respond enthusiastically and the two of them start making out. But before it goes any further their brains catch up with them and they stop, both knowing that they need to talk to Tav

So they approach Tav and Tav’s like, “yeah, it’s fine, can’t say I’m surprised, neither of you are exactly subtle. It’s fine. I’ll take this as my queue to go then.”

Astarion then jumps in like, “wait, no, who said anything about leaving”.

Tav tries to convince him that it’s fine, that they’re happy for him, really. They can’t begrudge him for wanting more and he shouldn’t feel compelled to stay with them.

Astarion’s brain is reeling from this because are you actually kidding me? Please say you’re joking and don’t actually believe that.

He then takes their face in his hands and tells them he’s not going to stop loving them just because he wants to have sex again and if there is one lesson they’ve taught him is that he has more love in him that he ever thought possible. He’s got plenty to spare.

Gale meanwhile has been watching Astarion and Tav’s relationship for some time and has come to understand you can separate sex and romantic love

He then steps in saying, “yes, I am interested is pursuing something more with Astarion, but also with you. Honestly out of the two of you, I’ve loved you for much longer”.

Tav would still need time to accept the idea that they’re not the third wheel. Gale would need to work out how to put that sometimes obsessive love into two people and Astarion still has his trauma, but they’d all have each other to work it all out once they get everything out into the open.

[highladyluck]

13 books tag game, tagged by @amemoryofwot and @asha-mage (incidentally I typoed that as "amemeryofwot" which would be an excellent sideblog concept, maybe snatch that one up?)

1) Last book I read:

Mistress of the Empire by Raymond Feist & Janny Wurts (at the time I started filling this out, anyway… I've been working on this ask for several days) This whole trilogy was a delight, thanks to @sixth-light for telling me I would love Mara!

2) A book I recommend:

The Best of All Possible Worlds by Karen Lord. It's a quiet little road trip romance exploring grief & diaspora, in a setting that I can best describe as 'if Madeline L'Engle had been in charge of Star Trek worldbuilding'. (If you squint you can see analogues to humans, Vulcans, Romulans, and Orions, but the tone is reminiscent of L'Engle.) There are sequels that follow different characters but this is the first one and it works as a standalone. I feel like it has a lovely light touch on some intense subjects and I appreciate the way each chapter works as a separate story while still fitting into the whole.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

I remember staying up past my bedtime for The Monster Baru Cormorant, I think? At the very least, that's where we first get my beloved Tau-Indi, and the pacing on the climax is kinda weird, about 2/3rds in, so I think I would have read through to it without stopping. I don't know if this question is supposed to be about compellingness or pacing? Probably compellingness, I think I'm weirdly fixated on structure when I read things. But sometimes I think books you 'can't put down' are at least partially that way because there's no damn place to breathe, and I don't entirely approve.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more)

I see from literally everyone who has tagged me in this that this is one of the two free spaces for Wheel of Time, but I'll switch it up: Lifeboats by Diane Duane. It's set between Young Wizards 9 & 10 and deals with an emergency response team permanently evacuating an entire alien population from a natural disaster (RIP their moon and also consequently their planet). This novel is a huge comfort read for me and is undoubtedly the Young Wizards work I've read the most. I don't really know how to explain what it means to me… I wish I had had it when I was living and working in a foreign country.

5) A book on my TBR

A friend recommended Cahokia Jazz (in general, not to me specifically) and it sounds SO MUCH like my jam. I suspect if I can't find it at my library soon, I'll end up buying the ebook.

6) A book I’ve put down

Can't think of a recent one, but if I hadn't forced myself to finish reading it because it was a Hugo Award nominee, I would have DNF'd Project Hail Mary.

7) A book on my wish list

I wish for more Baru Cormorant but I also literally cannot imagine how Seth is going to write that next book. So like, I'm girding my loins for Baru #4 either 15 years from now or never.

8) A favourite book from childhood

When I was really little I loved the Berenstain Bear books and my mom HATED that I loved them ("they were so badly written!" - my mom the children's librarian) but she bought them for me anyway. That's love.

9) A book you would give a friend

You all need to read Middlemarch by George Eliot. I don't care what stage of life you're at, you will find something resonant in it. Read it now, and read it again in 20 years. Give it to recent high school grads. Give it as a wedding present. Take it to the beach. BUT I am specifically recommending it to the WoT contingent, because the characters are so good!

10) The most books you own by a single author

It's actually either Diane Duane or Terry Pratchett, and DD's probably winning because I don't have every Pratchett book but I do have almost every DD book including tie-in novels.

11) A nonfiction book you own

Four Lost Cities: A Secret History of the Urban Age by Annalee Newitz. I don't read a ton of nonfiction but the writing is very engaging and I think cities are neat.

12) what are you currently reading

I'm between books but I just finished The Imposition of Unnecessary Obstacles (as I am writing this part several days after question 1). I didn't like it as much as the first one, The Mimicking of Known Successes, but I think it's just a taste thing. I didn't like being in Pleiti's POV very much, her overthinking is too much like mine and it alternately stresses me out and makes me angry, because I can see the assumptions/unhelpful thought patterns but I can't fix them. Obviously, to draw that reaction from me the characters are well-defined, and I like everything else about the series, I just hope it goes back to Mossa's POV.

13) what are you planning on reading next?

WHEN WILL 'RED SIDE STORY' BY JASPER FFORDE REACH MY HOUSE??? I have been waiting like 15 years for this sequel to Shades of Grey and the entire point of preordering it was so I could have it ASAP. I could have walked into a bookstore on May 9th and walked out with it, and instead I won't get it until tomorrow. >:(

I think I am supposed to add a shelfie? The organizing principles(s) of this shelf in my bedroom are very weird…. Classics/adventure, fantasy, popular science writing? Someday I need to reshelve everything in the house according to size/favoriteness/genre/theme/vibes (in that order) but I haven’t felt like it.

I think pretty much everyone I was going to tag already got tagged, so whoever want to do it, go ahead!

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Rereading The Fellowship of the Ring for the First Time in Fifteen Years

Holy Foreshadowing, Batman! Gandalf is SUPER psyched to get his ass under a mountain, but literally Gimli and Aragorn are like, "Nah, bro, we are worried about YOU SPECIFICALLY if we do that." And this is after Mom and Dad fought about going up Caradhras and after literally everyone is like, "We are getting super bad vibes from Moria."

But they can't go over the mountains, they can't go around the mountains, and the Gap of Rohan is too close to Isengard, so fuck it, we ball in Moria, I guess. Let's talk chapter 4, "A Journey in the Dark."

Ok, so this is a relatively long chapter (30-odd pages by my math), but wow is it mostly vibes. We start off very defeated by the anti-wizard-and-elf mountain, which makes sense because if you lose the ring bearer to exposure in the first month of travel, you're going down in history as the dingus who lost the last great conflict with Sauron. Again, Boromir is DEEPLY underappreciated as the reason our hobbits survived Caradhras.

After a few pages of back-and-forthing about where to go next, Gandalf is over here pushing Moria HARD, and literally everyone is like, "This does not pass the vibe check, wizard boy." Although Gimli is like, "I could find out what happened to Balin" and Aragorn literally says THIS:

"You followed my lead almost to disaster in the snow and have said no word of blame. I will follow your lead now..."

Because apparently Fellowship leadership operates on phlebotomist rules. If you miss the vein, you let someone else take a shot.

Ultimately, the decision is made because there are goddamn WARGS after the group, and even Boromir accedes that wolves literally on your tail are worse than hypothetical wolves up the road, so we stop arguing about it and hunker down. This gives us time to have a nice little moment with Sam and Pippin though. Poor Pippin is over here like, "I wish I had taken Elrond's advice [...], I am no good after all. [...] I don't remember ever feeling so wretched, " but Sam is coming in clutch with "Honestly same, but Gandalf isn't going to let us get eaten by wolves." Which like...yeah, I accept that, and it's way more comforting than a generic "there, there." I also appreciate that Sam admits he's scared too. It's like how hearing, "Oh god, I haven't started that either" is so comforting for stressed-out students.

What neither I nor the fellowship love though, is the wolves literally sniffing around their campfire that night. There are literally glowing eyes in the dark, howls on the wind, and a goddamn warg silhouette in the gap between stones. And an arrow through the throat of one warg buys the group some measure of peace until the moon sets. Once the moon sets though, we get a pre-dawn warg attack:

In the leaping light as the fresh wood blazed up, Frodo saw many grey shapes spring over the ring of stones. More and more followed. Through the throat of one huge leader Aragorn passed his sword with a thrust; with a great sweep Boromir hewed the head off another. Gimli stood with his stout legs apart, wielding his dwarf-axe. The bow of Legolas was singing.

The battle scenes in these books read SUPER Beowulf, but are somehow briefer. Tolkien was super not here for contemporary battle scene writing; it's very much painting with watercolors. He gives you the odd detail or two and you pretty much get to fill in the rest yourself. Which is fine, and holy cow can I see where that would inspire Robert Jordan's manner of naming sword forms rather than describing an actual duel (which is not shade, I think Jordan does that really damn well and to excellent effect). But then we get Gandalf doing wizardy things in a really...unusual way?

In the wavering firelight Gandalf seemed suddenly to grow: he rose up, a great menacing shape like the monument of some ancient king of stone set upon a hill. Stooping like a cloud, he lifted a burning branch and strode to meet the wolves. They gave back before him. High in the air he tossed the burning brand, It flared with a sudden white radiance like lightning; and his voice rolled like thunder.

This hearkens back both to "Gandalf the fireworks wizard" who we meet in the Shire, but also to the little moment in Bag End where Gandalf goes wizard on Bilbo to snap him out of his Ring moment. It also is not like...wildly dissimilar to how they teach you to scare bears off in the wild: Get big and loud and look intimidating. We were not supposed to then set a goddamn forest fire--that's a little scorched earth for Alaskan survival techniques--but it was one of those moments where the familiar was made pointedly exotic, and I actually thought it was quiet effective. You take the foundation of something real and then you add a bit of wizard to it. Then things feel sufficiently grounded, but also with just that extra bit of wizard to heighten EVERYTHING. The subtlety (and yeah, I know, forest fire and lightning isn't subtle, but the way this is written is and how it functions is) is really quite impressive. That said...Gandalf, honey. Maybe not with the ecological disasters???

At the very least, the wargs were polite enough to evaporate so they didn't have to deal with any of the bodies when the sun came up.

After that, we haul ass off to the Doors of Durin. It's not a good journey though. Right from the start, the Sirannon wasn't where it was supposed to be, the landscape is lifeless and desolate, and when we do finally find the stream, it's a freaking trickle. If the IDEA of Moria didn't pass the vibe check, then the landscape on the trip in is a parade of red flags. And again, Boromir is SUPER ON POINT with not wanting to get caught between a stone wall and a bunch of wolves. This place is all quiet unease and red flags. Even the freaking WATER is gloomy and unwholesome-looking.

And then we get a WEIRD FLEX moment for Gandalf:

"I am sorry," said Gandalf. "Poor Bill has been a useful companion, and it goes to my heart to turn him adrift now. I would have travelled lighter and brought no animal, least of all this one that Sam is fond of, if I had had my way. I feared all along that we should be obliged to take this road."

Like, I believe he's genuinely sorry to have to hurt Sam and to turn the goodest pony loose. But it's the "if I had had my way" and the last sentence where I'm just like...Gandalf. Sir. Why are you bitching to Frodo that you have to share leadership on this mission? And why are you flexing an "I told you so" on Frodo instead of, IDK, Aragorn??? Is it because Aragorn would kick your wizened wizard ass for it? Because I'd watch that.

Also, again with Gandalf being weirdly open with, aware of, and as solicitous as possible to Sam. He has zero problems kicking Pippin when he's down (as we'll see in a bit in this very goddamn chapter), but he's always been very straight yet compassionate with Sam in a way that doesn't even match how this wizard treats Frodo. Like, we are almost getting to a point where I need to go see what the Tolkien scholars have written about the Sam-Gandalf relationship, because it's getting NOTICEABLY unique and it has gotten a fair number of little moments at this point. Like...what is this relationship and why is this the dynamic? I demand to know.

I also just want to take a second to highlight something DEEPLY inequitable as they round the lake to the door:

When they came to the northernmost corner of the lake they found a narrow creek that barred their way. It was green and stagnant, thrust out like a slimy arm toward the enclosing hills. Gimli strode forward undeterred, and found that the water was shallow, no more than ankle-deep at the edge. Behind him they walked in fie, threading their way with care, for under the weedy pools were sliding and greasy stones, and footing was treacherous. Frodo shuddered with disgust at the touch of the dark unclean water on his feet.

THE HOBBITS DONT WEAR SHOES. Everyone else has boots to act as something of a barrier to this gross-ass water, but the hobbits have to tromp through it BAREFOOT. Did NOBODY think, "oh shit, this will be super unpleasant for the hobbits, maybe we should yeet or carry them?" Apparently not, and honestly now they're just gonna have gross feet as they tromp through Moria and I hate that for their poor hobbit toesies. And as a WWI soldier, TOLKIEN SHOULD KNOW THE DANGERS OF WET, MUCKETY FEET.

But then we actually get to the doors--finally--and Sam has a deeply understandable moment when Gandalf tells him they have to cut Bill loose, and Gimli and Legolas try to start world war 2.5 over Elf-Dwarf relations before Gandalf tells them to knock that shit off.

Everyone is super over everything at this point, and I cannot blame them.

But where Gandalf has zero time for Legolas and Gimli sniping at each other, he takes the time to speak over Bill and give him his best shot at getting home safely. Again, I do not get the relationship between Gandalf and Sam. I appreciate the care for the pony, but whatever the Gandalf-Sam thing is, it's more than just trolling Pippin or ensuring that Frodo makes it to the volcano or ignoring Merry's existence for the most part.

Literally, Pippin gets a "Knock on the door with your head" from Gandalf, and once the damn thing IS open, Merry just gets a casual, "Merry, of all people, was on the right track" before Gandalf pulls ANOTHER weird flex and says "Too simple for a learned lore-master in these suspicious days." Like...ok, sure, Gandalf. You were TOO SMART to get the riddle.

But we get the doors open just in time for Frodo to get nabbed by a metric frick-ton of tentacles. Sam yoinks him back and they haul ass through the door, which get slammed behind them and the tentacle monster bolts it behind them with boulders and trees. After which we get THIS little gem from Gandalf:

"I fear from the sounds that boulders have been piled up and trees uprooted and thrown across the gate. I am sorry; for the trees were beautiful, and had stood so long."

SIR. I was THERE when you burned a flaming doughnut into the land to get rid of the wargs. You are a walking ecological disaster and do not get to high ground the tentacle monster ripping up a few trees by the roots. You probably burned more LAST NIGHT. I know it's unfair to expect characters to know the genre of the book they're in, and by extension its equally unfair to expect them to know the themes of the book they're in. That said though...I WATCHED YOU START A FOREST FIRE, GANDALF. This is not the moment to suddenly discover ecocriticism.

At any rate, we have FINALLY made it inside Moria. Boromir is (rightfully) quite pissed off an apprehensive about this, but Gandalf is like, "Gimli and I will lead the way!" before they manage to get the party fucking lost and Sam is bitching about not having rope. Because oh my god there is SO MUCH atmospheric walking in this book. And most of the time the atmosphere is "vaguely evil with a healthy helping of depression." Which...yeah, that's what we get here.

So it makes sense that Gandalf is SUPER FUCKING OVER IT when Pippin yeets a rock down a well and they hear hammer blows from the deeps. And it makes even more sense when Gandalf realizes he's apparently also experiencing withdrawal symptoms because he hasn't had a smoke since before they started climbing Caradhras. So he non-apologizes to Pippin, lights up, and everything looks better in the morning...sort of. At least the wizard is less grumpy, and he has now firmly established himself as that member of the party who needs to be properly self-cared or he will make it EVERYONE ELSE'S PROBLEM. Seriously, what a goddamn diva.

But getting himself a wee bit of a smoke made it so he could make a decision and they headed up to where the air smelled good. So fair enough.

Then we have EVEN MORE atmospheric walking, and Sam picks up some dwarven lore via Gimli singing a song all about Moria and Khazad-dum, and I swear, the hobbit is going to be a lore-master himself by the end of this journey.

This chapter is also where we get a bit of a mithril infodump, which is pretty cool just in general. We also get Frodo having delayed sticker-shock because he's just casually waltzing around with a whole-ass shirt of mithril on. That's also a nice little reminder to all the readers that hey, remember that Frodo has this thing? I betcha it's going to be important soon.

We end the chapter on the SUPER downer note of finding Balin's tomb, and the dwarves now have their (not unexpected) answer to what happened to the party from thirty-odd years ago. Which is really sad, frankly.

That's also about where we're going to leave this chapter, because I am...exhausted by all the atmospheric walking. We will pick up next time with a relatively short chapter, and hopefully there is more to it than infodumping and atmospheric walking.

[justagingerwithredhair]

The Blue Moon Ball: Midnight

I catch my breath and scan the ballroom for Lurien. If my visions were accurate, I'm looking for an eleven figure wearing extravagant celestial clothes and winged accessories. As I search, my focus narrows to a point. Come on... come on... You must be somewhere here. Wait! I think I see him! Oh... oh wow... he is absolutely tearing it up on the dance floor. A crowd is beginning to form around him. This is perfect. I'll work my way back down and--

ACK! I instinctively turn around to the source of the my startle. My eyes behold a giant grandfather clock sounding off. The golden figure towers above me. Inside, a pendulum that looks like a model solar system swings to and fro as cogs of all shapes and sizes whirl and spin, moving the hands from 11:00 to 12:00. Heavens above, that almost had my heart lurch from my chest! Midnight already? I can't believe time is moving this fast. I turn my gaze back towards the ballroom and see the crowd funneling out into the halls again. Wait... no no no no no where are they all going?! Damn it! I lost sight of Lurien! I'm never going to get my questions answered, am I? I put my back against the wall and slink into a ball. This night has been a disaster. As I wallow in my despair, a gentle breeze brushes my cheeks. It looks like a balcony door was left open. The night sky is clear as ever and inviting me outside. I need some fresh air.

Stepping out onto the balcony, I imminently find comfort under the stars. My night may be a wreck, but at least they're here to light it up once more. I stride to the balcony's stone rail and lean against it, focusing on the glittering night sky. The Star... the seventeenth card of the major arcana. It's indicative of hope, guidance, creativity, clarity, and confidence. Hah, funny, that sounds like everything I'm lacking at the moment. And then we have the moon, bright and blue tonight. That sounds more like me. I may have dressed myself to the nines but that doesn't make my mood any better. The Moon... the eighteenth card of the major arcana. It's indicative of anxieties, repressed feelings, deception, indecision, and confusion. Wow. I was right on. If this sky were made to mock me, it's doing a phenomenal job. Ugh, look at me, thinking every little thing in the world is a sign about me. How utterly selfish. Tonight was supposed to be a community event and yet I still expertly weave it into a sob story all about myself. Maybe I should just leave. It's not like the party will be missing me. The only impact I've managed to make tonight was knocking people over and almost recreating Phantom of the Opera. Yep... that's me: Seros, master wizard of the long lost magic of walking disaster transmutation.

I focus on the stars once again. A comet scrapes by, leaving a brilliant while trail. I suppose there is a silver lining. One: I got out of my study for once. I didn't realize how often I chained myself to my desk until I stretched my legs and traveled here. Two: I got to explore one of the most beautiful venue's I've ever seen in my life. I can tell no expense was spared. This is truly a miraculous site. Three: I got to at least speak with someone that isn't Ivory (no offense Ivory, I love you so much). I also tried dancing! In retrospect, I think that could have been a grand time if I just lived in the moment. I should probably keep myself grounded next time as well...

Perhaps this night isn't as disastrous as I thought. But I can't help but think I'm missing something. Ah! I know! I can do a reading! The location is perfect and I'm at a loss of what else could be wrong with me, so I'll give it a shot. I seat myself on the ground. After situating my deck in front of me, I begin to meditate on my question. Once I have it firmly in mind, I take my left hand and place it on the first card and ask:

"What am I missing?"

As I go to reveal the card, a piercing pang strikes my stomach. A low and thunderous gurgle sounds. Oh... I think I know what's wrong. When was the last time I had food? In fact, have I eaten since I arrived? OOOOOOoooooh... this explains a lot. I'm down in the dumps and kicking myself because I'm hungry. I pack up my deck and stand back up. That reminds me, wasn't there supposed to be a feast later tonight? I think there was an itinerary attached to my invite. I summon the letter once again and, would you look at that! It seems dinner follows the dance! That would explain why everyone left upon the clock striking midnight. Wait! If everyone is gathering in one place, then Lurien will surely be at the table soon. This could be the chance I've been looking for all night. I can sit with him and finally ask all my questions. There are mysteries in these halls and I still have half a night to solve them. No time like the present! I make my way back inside, but not before giving the night sky one last look of admiration. I give a farewell to the lights above and journey towards the dining hall. First, I should feed myself. Then, I ask questions. Off I go!

[magistralucis]

Moonquake [Snippet]

(Jesus Christ has it been over a year since I last posted any snippet of anything I’m working on??? 😩 Since I’m slowly getting back into my writing, have one from a pet project I began last year. I watched a lot of Tarkovsky last summer and it broke my brain, and what better cure for that than magical realism?

It’s not finished, I work on it tiny bits at a time. It’s a Tillchard. It reflects many real-life events and dynamics, but at the same time, it is so out-of-chronology I’m not sure this matters at all. Also Till might be a bird and Richard a moon wizard. It’s complicated. Have a peek.)

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"There's a barn burning tonight, down where old man Stefan lives." Till says one cloudy afternoon, and Richard looks up, his hair brushing shadows about his neck. Beneath it an earring glitters. Two mugs of coffee steam quietly on the counter. "You know the field opposite the cemetery gates, the house up that path. They asked if we'd come."

"A barn burning." Richard repeats. Till's gaze is as faraway as his voice. After a moment he stands up, then ties up his hair as he joins Till by the back door. "How's that, then?"

Till shrugs. "It's old. Mouldering. Besides, he's got a bigger one now." Their eyes fall upon the little shed further up the yard: Till's new workshop, humble but lovingly made, their most recent project together. Richard put up the walls, Till put on the roof, and the former had seemed more alive for their labours than he had in a long time. "He must've figured it wasn't worth paying to get it dismantled. And you know you want to keep an eye on anything that burns - maybe have a cookout, too, while everyone's around."

"I do." Then Richard is silent for a long time, thinking. He considers for so long he outlasts the heat of his coffee - as well as Nele's brief visit, bounding into the kitchen and demanding hugs, her hair ribbons coming all loose. It takes some teamwork (and pinky-promises for snacks) for the two men to retie them, after which she runs off again, and by then Richard has made up his mind. "Did you tell him we were coming?"

He hasn't gone out much recently. Till's gaze sparks a little, a revival of hope. "I wanted to leave it to your judgement."

Richard sniffs the air. Sweeter than the usual, and much heavier; it will rain in the night, but no later, when most of the barn will have smouldered down. In the deep snow it's hard to get a fire going at all, whereas in the bone-dry seasons, even a sole stray flame could be a disaster - yes, today's the right time, it'll be a good time. "Then let's all go together. Should we bring anything special, or are meat and drinks fine?"

"Funny you mention that." The spark has becoming a roaring fire, and Till smiles brightly, leaning in to take the other's hand. "Coming from the old man himself, our price of admission is one of your famous cakes... or a six-pack. Whichever's quickest, he said."

"A bag of quark is pretty quick; give me one, two hours."

And so they all go together - including Nele, since the days are still long and light and there will be other children there. Half the village has turned up. People are happy to see them, and especially delighted to see Richard; they all knew he had come back, but not exactly how or why, and the majority haven't even seen him in a long time. Richard takes it well. Till stays close to him all evening, and is glad for the shy happiness in his eyes, fragments of the old Sven he thought he'd lost for good.

Over dessert they finally light up the barn. It goes up in flames politely as only loved worn things do, since it was a damned good barn while it lasted. In the backdrop the village continues to feast: sweetmeats are laid out at table, old man Stefan herds his chickens away, and Nele sits happily over Richard's Käsekuchen and a large glass of milk. A griddle sizzles here, a cheer breaks out there. Above the smoke the night sky glowers vividly, casting a warm glow against friendly faces.

Many of them will not have cause to meet again that year. Gatherings such as these are uncommon these days, and with the recent reunification, they only threaten to grow rarer. With a quiet sigh Richard leans against the fence, contemplating the upturned order of things, when the promised rain comes at last. It falls in a slow mist initially - no different to the smoke above the barn - but then the thick drops come, and it's the tail end of the burning anyway, which wraps the festivities up somewhat. Some make their exit altogether, shouting goodbyes over waved bottles as they leave the gate, and some withdraw indoors with all the drinks and the cooking-things. Soon there is no one left but a select few, smokers mostly, and Till looking for Richard looking for a purpose.

"Scholle? Scholle, shall we go?"

Richard stands before the fence separating barn from field. Gazes. Past the lens of rain the flames lick in strange directions. Twenty-eight steps lie between himself and the fire, twenty-eight days since his revelation, a full moon since his life was inverted in the Schweriner See.

"... Scholle?"

He concentrates, and for the second time ever, he receives a response.

[velereth]

Twitter has somehow managed to get even worse with the latest change. It's been a shitshow for ages but with the hidden likes thing it feels like it also came with yet another algorithm change? My following feed is as much a disaster as ever and my for you page that used to be full of the people I actually follow and relevant posts is now absolutely shit and giving me stuff I don't care about.

I'm also like 90% sure I'm shadowbanned or hidden there or something, absolutely nothing I post gets seen or engaged with. Most of my likes are from pr0n bo.ts and not even my mutuals like my posts most of the time, I'll get maybe 1 if I post at the exact right time. It's discouraging! Why bother with social media if no one sees it and no one interacts?

I'm also getting increasingly burned out on the XIV community and honestly the game too. I still love my WoL and the NPCs I like but like. Most discussion about the parts I like is bashing those parts or fundamentally misunderstanding them so. I'm hoping DT gives us another nice long housing demolition pause so I can take a break without worrying about my houses going poof. I'm proud of my houses. ;;

It's not just me either, most of my XIV moots are on a break or burned out or both.

Maybe I'll finally write fanfic lol.

I dunno. We'll see what happens. I've been finally playing through NieR Automata and enjoying it, and dabbling in Everquest 2 and learning curve aside that's actually been pretty damn fun. Wizard squishy but wizard goes pewpew. Something different. I've got a friend who's encouraged me to play Morrowind so I think that's next after NieR.

Hopefully in the meantime I'll stop feeling so sick. I've been nauseous for days and having a horrible feeling of impending doom. Like something terrible is going to happen but I don't know what. T_T Hopefully it's just worry, I've got a dear friend going through a horrible time so I'm probably just anxious about them.

I think I'll spend more time here, it's nicer and I can type long form and don't feel as weird if I go on a tangent about things I like that aren't the one thing.

[alexandra-emerson]

Harmony Halloween Drabble

I wrote this for @suzyq31.

“And how’s Hermione?” 

Harry removed his glasses and rested his head against the back of the chair. “Fine,” he sighed, looking up at the ceiling of the office. “I’m still hopelessly in love with her, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“And she still doesn’t know?”

“She remains blissfully unaware,” he said bitterly.

“Perhaps the feeling is not blissful for her. You should tell her.”

“No.” Harry sat up and put his glasses back on. “We’re friends. Best friends. Telling her that…it would be a disaster.”

“You don’t know that. It could—”

“Can we talk about something else?” Harry cut in.

His mind healer watched him for an uncomfortable few seconds, then nodded. “Sure. What would you like to discuss, Harry?”

“I don’t know. Ron and I are hosting a party tonight. For Halloween.”

“That sounds fun.”

“Yeah,” said Harry, sighing again. “I’m sure it will be great.”

***

Later that night, Harry sipped on a cup of orange punch as he watched his friends file into his house. Though this place didn’t look like his house anymore, thanks to Ron and George. The walls were shrouded in black gauze and there were shiny silver spider webs in the corners—though no spiders, Ron had assured him. The windows were covered by dark red drapes and Ron and George had placed floating glowing pumpkins in the air, which cast an eerie glow around the space. All together, it was an impressive sight.

Harry finished his drink and was setting the empty cup on a side table when Hermione walked in. His heart stuttered as her face lit up at the sight of the transformed room. He saw her search the room, then grin as Ron approached her. They hugged and Harry was about to go join them when Hermione snaked an arm around a tall wizard’s waist.

Harry’s stomach rolled as he moved to get a better view of the wizard. Who would she have brought tonight? Did she have a boyfriend? Why hadn’t she told him? Harry’s stomach did another flip when he finally got a look at the wizard’s face. It was Ernie MacMillan.

Harry’s eyes moved back to Hermione, who was chatting with Ron while holding Ernie. She was probably telling Ron the brilliant story of how they had become a couple. Ron nodded, clearly bored, then waved at someone behind her. He patted her shoulder, said something to MacMillan, and left to greet the next guest.

Hermione was searching the room again, probably looking for him. Harry stepped behind one of the large drapes, glad that the light in the room was so dim. 

Hermione was with Ernie MacMillan. Damn, he needed another drink.

***

Before long, Harry was outside, sitting on the steps of the back porch as he shivered in the cold night air. His attention was caught by movement at the top of his vision. He lifted his eyes to see a few leaves fall from the tree. He felt like he was falling too—like he’d been falling for months— but unlike those leaves, which had settled peacefully onto the grass, there seemed to be no end to his descent.

An unexpected warmth spread through him, starting at his back, then moving like warm syrup down his limbs and up his neck. He recognized the magic and dipped his head as tears stung his eyes. 

Hermione had found him.

He felt her take a seat at his side, then lean into him. He stayed quiet as he took deep breaths, trying to calm his scattered thoughts.

“I know Halloween is hard for you,” she said eventually.

Harry nodded. Yes, Halloween was the night his parents had died and yet, that wasn’t what had him so upset right now. He should be mourning them. That would be sensible. But the thing bringing tears to his eyes was thoughts of Hermione and her stupid date. His throat went dry and he struggled to swallow as guilt surged through him.

“I don’t want to talk about them,” he said, voice rough. “Tell me…tell me about you.”

“About me? I don’t know… Nothing much to report.”

Harry bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t snort. He took a deep breath, then turned to face her. Fuck, she was beautiful, her skin smooth and shining in the moonlight. How was that fair? “Are you having fun at the party? It’s…cool, yeah? All the decorations.”

Hermione nodded as her brow crinkled with concern. “It’s good. I, um, am actually on a date. With Ernie MacMillan. He…asked me out and I said yes.”

“Oh. Yeah. I guess that's how people usually end up on dates. Someone asks and the other person agrees.”

“Yeah,” she replied, clearly unimpressed by his insightful observation.

Harry let out a heavy sigh. He wanted to retreat to his room and go to sleep. He could make an excuse now, say he was too sad for a party, but some destructive part of him urged him to keep pressing on this topic. “You like him? MacMillan? I didn’t know you saw him anymore.”

“I don’t. We were Heads together, that last year of Hogwarts, and I know he liked me then but I…um, didn’t. Then I ran into him yesterday and he asked me out. I thought, why not? It’s nice to have a date for these sorts of things.”

“Yeah. Being alone sucks.”

“Oh. I’m—I didn’t mean.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and met his eyes. The expression there was sad, apologetic, almost regretful.

They watched each other for several long moments, then Harry did something absolutely stupid. He took her face in his hands and kissed her.

Her lips were soft and warm against his, but her skin under his palm was cool. He buried his fingers in her curls and turned his head. His heart soared when she started moving her lips in time with his.

He tilted her chin up, about to deepen their kiss, when she pulled away. Her eyes were wide with shock. She shook her head and stumbled to her feet. “I should—Ernie is—inside. He’s waiting.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course he is.” Harry pulled himself up onto shaky legs. “I, I’m sorry. That was…I was just…we were talking about being alone and I’m…you know…sad…erm, in a really shit mood. Just forget it. Just—” He cut off, officially out of words. 

He was falling again, plummeting to the ground, waiting for the crash. A yell, a slap across the face, something. But all she did was stare at him. “I’m going to go.

“Yeah. You—you should.”

“Okay. Um, bye.” She did a weird little curtsey, then rushed back inside, leaving Harry alone in the dark.

***

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” Each muttered swear was punctuated by the stomp of his boot against the pavement.

“Fuck, fuck.”

Harry walked and walked and walked, trying to put as much distance as possible between himself the stupid thing he’d done. He’d kissed her! Right after she told him she was on a date with another bloke.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Harry wasn’t looking where he was going. He was just focused on walking away from Grimmauld Place. A while later, he groaned as he recognized a familiar brick building with a statue of a little girl holding a bird out front. His feet had brought him all the way across town to Hermione’s flat. Brilliant.

He turned around and made for a muggle pub he’d visited with Hermione several times. He ordered a pint and just stared at it. He wasn’t in the mood for beer. He wasn’t in the mood for anything.

Harry stayed there a long time, waiting for the party at his house to end. When he thought he’d waited long enough, he placed a pile of coins next to his untouched drink and ventured back into the night. It wasn’t until he was halfway across London when he realized he’d paid with sickles and knuts.

“Fuck.”

The party was over when he returned home. As Harry approached the sitting room, he half-expected to find her there. What would he say? Would he tell her the truth? Maybe she’d already guessed it? That would be convenient. Would she be upset? Pitying? Apologetic? Or maybe… was it possible she’d welcome his feelings? Yeah right.

She wasn’t there. It was just Ron, looking equal parts worried and annoyed. “Where were you? Why did you leave without saying anything?”

Harry tossed out some rushed excuses before escaping to his room. He climbed into bed with his clothes still on and stared up at the ceiling. All he could see there was Hermione’s face, eyes blown wide with shock. As he continued to watch, her features twisted into horror, then disgust. He closed his eyes, but that just made her face clearer.

“Fuck.”

He willed his mind to focus on something else and it complied…sort of. His thoughts swirled all around, taking him to darker and darker places, some with Hermione, and some without. All he could do was go along for the ride and pray that one day soon, he’d stop falling.

***

He didn’t see her again until Sunday, during the weekly lunch at the Burrow. She acted like nothing had happened and though that’s exactly what he’d asked her to do, it made him angry. He seethed at the side of the room as she hid behind conversations with Bill, then Arthur, then Ginny. 

Eventually, he couldn’t take it anymore and insisted she join him outside. As they walked through the garden, he began regretting his decision. What the fuck was his plan here? He’d wanted her attention but now that he had it, he had no idea what to do with it.

“Harry?” she asked, stopping on the path. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, fine. I just thought we should talk. About, er, the party.”

“Oh. Well, you were sad and looking for comfort and I was just…there. It’s fine. I get it.” She gave him a small smile, then cocked her head toward the house. “Shall we go back?”

“No.”

“Oh. You have more to say?” 

Was that a hint of hope in her voice? Or maybe just wishful thinking on his part. Harry took her hand and before he considered what he was going to say, words began pouring out of his mouth. 

“You weren’t ‘just there.’ I don’t want you to think that. You’re never ‘just there.’ You fill the whole room. Always. And that night you…I didn’t kiss you because you were the first person to come check on me. You were—were the only one I wanted to see. I’m—I’m always glad to see you. So don’t—don’t say you were ‘just there.’”

Hermione looked down at their hands, then up at him. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”

Harry inhaled, but the air got trapped in his lungs before he could take a full breath. That’s probably why his next words were so stupid—his brain was lacking oxygen or something. “I think you’re important. A good friend. That’s…what I meant.”

“Oh, yeah,” she said with a shaky smile. “We’re good friends. And the rest…you don’t see me like that. That’s okay.” She squeezed his hand and released it before turning away. She began walking back toward the house, leaves crunching under her feet.

What was that? Was she sad? Did she want more, like he did? Was he just seeing what he wanted? “Sod it,” he whispered, then closed his eyes and said louder, “But I do.”

The crunching of the leaves stopped. “What?”

Harry took another breath, a full one this time, then turned to face her. “I do. See you like that. I have, for a long time. But I—I’ve been too much of a coward to say so. I’ve been too afraid of losing you. But I—I feel that way about—about you.”

She walked back, slowly and stopped in front of him. She rested a hand on his chest. Could she feel his heart pounding there? Did she know it was hers? That it had been hers for years? Did she know how scared it was as it trembled under her hand, finally laid bare, waiting for her to determine its fate?

“You like me?” Her words were so soft, they were nearly swallowed up by the wind.

“I’m in love with you,” he corrected, making sure to enunciate each word, so there would be no chance of being misunderstood. Then, he lost his nerve and added meekly, “But I…I can stop. If you want.”

She dropped her gaze to where her hand was still touching his jumper. He watched her long lashes as he waited for her verdict. They fluttered, then rose until her eyes met his. The sight of the tears welling in them there broke his heart. He was about to step backward when she said, “Don’t stop.”

Her lips curved into a smile as her words filled him up, like warm air. He was floating again but before he could leave the ground, she took hold of him and crashed their lips together.

This kiss wasn’t tentative, like a few nights ago. It wasn’t a fleeting thing, a stolen moment. This was solid, and warm, and filled with passion. The wind kicked up and they were standing in a whirlwind of leaves. Hermione leaned her head back and laughed and he smiled when a few leaves stuck to her hair. As the wind continued to encircle them, he took her chin and recaptured her mouth, then pressed his tongue past her lips.

They kissed for what felt like an eternity, until they were breathless and their lips were chapped. When they finally paused for air, they stayed close, staring at each other as the wind finally died down. He saw the leaves that had been flying around them settle out of the corner of his eye as he rested his forehead against hers.

“I love you too,” she whispered. “In case that wasn’t clear.”

He closed his eyes and smiled. Another breeze kicked up and he imagined it picking up more leaves and carrying them away. But Harry stayed firmly in place, finally rooted in Hermione’s arms.

[turbourbo]

The Hargreeves siblings as middle school teachers:

Luther teaches Home Ec. He’s not a great speaker and can be very disorganized. But he takes a lot of pride in things like baking an egg casserole or fixing the buttons on a shirt. And he’s super proud of his students every time they demonstrate a new skill. He’s also the first teacher to give up his plan if the building needs a sub. And if a student invites him to an event, he goes. It’s very important to him that his students feel like they matter.

Diego’s a gym teacher, coaching sports after school. He yells and makes a lot of aggressive hand motions. Some of the students are afraid of them. Things turn around after his team wins their first game and students catch his victory dance. Suddenly, everyone knows he can dance, and students who were afraid of him are begging him to show them some moves in the gym. Diego pretends it’s no big deal but secretly loves the attention.

I’m not sure what subject Allison would teach. I see her being a good speaker, organized, and well-prepared. I’m thinking English/drama, but she could probably teach any subject. She takes pride in her job, but when the bell rings, she’s out that door and doing her own thing. She keeps her personal life and work life separated. Because of this, she doesn’t coach or host any clubs. I can also see her and Klaus (if they share a lunch or plan) meeting up in their rooms and trash talking students and taking shots.

Klaus could probably bullshit his way through any subject. He’d be a GREAT sub, just staggering into a teacherless classroom after the bell, having no idea what the plans are or what he’s even subbing, and the students are just transfixed on this charismatic disaster of a man, because they have no idea what he’s going to do or say, but they know damn well it’s going to be entertaining af. Klaus would also direct the school plays, but like in his usual haphazard way. Like he would forget to secure the rights to the scripts, so they end up throwing productions of “Dannie” and “The Wizard of Boz,” he’d always be late to rehearsals, then rehearsals would run late because he’s having too much fun. Before things completely fall apart, he’d run to Allison for help with the fall play, and every spring, he would at least have Viktor involved in the musical. He and Diego have the worst teacher evaluations.

Let’s pretend Five’s teen body isn’t a problem. He teaches math. Like Allison, he’s super organized and prepared each day. He’s also a good speaker, as long as he’s doing the lesson. Like Diego, he can get frustrated with the students’ behavior or lack of understanding. I can also see him going “empty head, no thoughts” when a student does something spectacularly stupid, like drinking water from a repurposed bleach container or bringing a dead bird to class because “I’m going to Frankenstein this bitch.” His rapport with the students isn’t great. He seems like the job would exhaust him. He’ll go to Klaus’s room after a bad day for some booze and emotional support.

Sparrow Ben is organized, prepared, a good speaker, and super competitive. Idk why, I see him teaching social studies/history/government, that kind of thing. Students love him or hate him. A lot crush on him because of how ripped and impeccably dressed he is. He would definitely have favorites. The favorites would tell him he’s their favorite teacher, and in return, he would give them better grades and let them skip other teachers’ classes by hanging in his room. He absolutely REFUSES to sub or cover for other teachers, because that’s a them problem, not his problem. He coaches baseball in the fall and track in the spring. He has new assistant coaches every season because he’s notoriously difficult to work with. Both he and Diego will argue with refs. But Diego would throw hands with rude-ass parents of the opposing team, and Ben would stay out of it.

Viktor teaches band, obviously. Like Luther, he’s not a great speaker, but he’s pretty organized and has better rapport with the students than Five or Sparrow Ben. I feel like Viktor would take time to get to know his students, even listening to their difficulties outside of his classroom, and offering advice when he can. Viktor is especially patient with students with low self-esteem, and students who don’t fit in with the others. Like Luther, he wants every student to feel valued in his room. Also like Luther, he can get too invested in his students and bring that shit home with him.

Overall executive functioning, emotional control, social skills, adaptability, and empathy:

Luther. Mid to high executive functioning. High emotional control. Low social skills. Low adaptability. High empathy.

Diego. Low to mid executive functioning. Low emotional control. High social skills. Mid to high adaptability. Mid to high empathy.

Allison. High executive functioning. High emotional control. High social skills. Mid adaptability. Low to mid empathy.

Klaus. Low executive functioning. Mid emotional control. High social skills. High adaptability. Mid to high empathy.

Five. High executive functioning. Mid emotional control. Low social skills. Mid adaptability. Low to mid empathy.

Sparrow Ben. High executive functioning. Low emotional control. High social skills. Mid adaptability. Low empathy.

Viktor. High executive functioning. Mid to high emotional control. Mid social skills. Low adaptability. High empathy.

[theroomofreq]

can you give me muggle jily recs pleaaseeee <3 :D

HOW MANY HIGH-QUALITY MUGGLE JILY FICS ARE THERE?? TOO MANY TO COUNT. *cracks knuckles* BUT I am here for the challenge. Jily AUs are my JAM.

Again, shoutout to our amazing @jilyarchive friends who tag every wonderful muggle jily au they come across. here is the link that will take you to their tags page. You'll find links to specific tropes and AUs :')

I've searched through my own AO3 bookmarks and history tabs, and I present to you 28 jily muggle fics that I LOVE. I am THRILLED thinking about all the good things in store for those that read these wonderful stories. This list took me ages to make because I went through and reread most of these brilliant fics. Happy reading !! xx

properly improper by @lizardcookie

“Marry me,” Mr. Potter repeats, closing the distance between them by striding back up towards the sofa, only to stop and crouch to one knee right there at her feet, looking up at her. Burning. “Pick me,” he elaborates. “Pick me, choose me, love me instead.”

- this fic is the reason why I comment the way that I do (spoiler it's because it's amazing)

The Wedding Ring by @mppmaraudergirl

What is undeniably worse than attending your sister's wedding looking as desolate and forgotten as a wilted houseplant? Drunkenly ringing your ex-boyfriend and asking him to be your date.

- SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY AT THE PERFECTION

Oh my god, they were ROOMMATES by @magic-girl-in-a-muggle-world

Silly one-shot, Muggle AU with Fem!Jily as pining roommates and Marlene as their matchmaker.

- the fic that brought me back to jily and inspired my deep obsession of fem!jily

Swipe Right, Swing Left by @downn-in-flames

The unspoken rule of using dating apps in D.C. is that you always start with where you work.

James Potter, it seems, never picked up on that one.

- giddy just thinking about this gem

'Tis the Damn Season by @petalstofish

It doesn't feel like Christmas for Lily Evans, not after losing her parents to COVID before the Holiday season. She anticipates spending Christmas all alone until a boy from her past shows up and offers her a mutually benefiting deal that has her calling him 'babe' just for the weekend. 'Tis the damn season, after all.

- cries in respect for lyrical writing

Watch Me Unwind by @maraudersftw

Lily Evans hates her job, hates the bigoted customers she has to serve as a bartender at the richest club in the city. But the one person who makes bearing all of it worth it has someone else in his arms tonight. (Rated: M)

- obsessed with the way the plot jumps around the time line in this

oil be there for you by @abby10fanfic

Texting/Social Media AU: Lily and James haven't spoken for 2 years. But that's all about to change thanks to Peter and his involvement in an essential oil pyramid scheme. Featuring boss babes, toxin-free lifestyles, binding contracts, and a very oily journey.

- YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW FAB THIS IS

a matchmaking mission by @downn-in-flames

James Potter has a mission: get Sirius Black and Remus Lupin to finally admit that they both fancy the pants off each other by Valentine's Day.

His partner in crime? Lily Evans, Remus' flatmate, who he also happens to be slightly in love with

- DOUBLE the amount of pining idiots in love :")

about time by @jilyss

'sure, yeah, I can accompany you to that black tie event for your work tonight. wait. why are we on a red carpet?'

- this is my emotional comfort fic, your honor

whiskey business by @elanev91

Sirius Black has a (bad?) habit of picking up hobbies that take over his and James' flat -- this most recent one? Homemade vodka that James now has to try and peddle to everyone in the building.

- hysterical! must read!

Fashion Disaster by @maraudersftw

James Potter is roped into an awful dare by his best-mate, which involves him wearing atrocious pieces of clothing for all days until Christmas as dictated by Sirius. If this wasn't terrible enough, he now has to contend with his maddening crush on the beautiful saleswoman at the clothing store.

- classic hijinks that I live for

it wasn't a pity invite by @elanev91

Part of the December "Winter Tropes" Jily challenge. Prompt: my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and omG i’m so sorry

- awkward Christmas date that owns my heart

spice and honey by @clare-with-no-i

tagging along with her food reporter sister to profile James Potter, London's hottest young chef, is not how Lily Evans pictured her Monday going - especially if he's anything like Petunia’s described.

needless to say, she's in for a whirlwind at Chez Maraudeur.

- I'm one re-read away from printing this out and putting it on my bookshelf.

Waffle Wars by @elanev91

There's only one waffle maker in the dining hall and it literally always breaks. So, naturally, the only reasonable course of action is to meticulously map out when it's working and, ultimately, do a heist.

- the witty narration in this fic can not be matched

You Can Hear It In The Silence by @alrightginger

Lily is non-verbal and deaf in a world where the things your soulmate says about you end up written on your skin. She has known about her soulmate since she was seven, but knows they don't have a clue she exists and possibly never will.

- exquisite, cue me sobbing forever

out the window by @displayheartcode

A new family moves to Ottery St Catchpole.

- everything I could ever want in a fic, forever in my mind rent free

The Christmas Guest by @thegodmachine

An Evans Family Christmas: Petunia is bringing her fiancé and Lily is bringing her…Friend…

- petunia pov that gives me WINGS

Football, Calculus, and Cappuccinos by @moonawrites

At eighteen years old, James Potter has a lot going on. He's a rising star navigating the politics of professional football, the pitfalls of sudden fame, the fallout from choosing his dream over his father's company... and a serious crush on the red headed new barista at his favourite coffee shop.

- I'm still working my way through this fic, but trust me when I say its a GEM

if u like pina coladas by @zephyrcove

Lily is desperate for a date to Petunia's wedding, James has been pining, and their friends meddle ;)

- explain to me how characters can be so perfect via texting fics?

Shelf Awareness by @ghostofbambifanfiction

It's too far out of her way and she's wasting so much money, but Lily can't help but return to the bookstore every weekend, where her passion for good literature has, perhaps, been unexpectedly reignited by the messy-haired, pun-making, rather handsome bloke who works there.

- you absolutely must know that I binge read this and then immediately REREAD it

How to win a witch in 10 days by @adenei

“She’s going to find some unsuspecting wizard, get him to fall for her, and then do all the things that turn men away to get him to break things off! Won’t it be the best way to see what witches do that drives men crazy?” But what happens when the man in question is a blast from Lily Evans's past? A Jily Magical AU based on the romantic comedy "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days."

- fic based off of a rom com? YES PLZ :’)

The Fight Before Christmas by @ghostofbambifanfiction

The heartwarming Christmas tale of Lily Evans and James Potter - two plucky kids who hated one other, until the day they really, really didn't.

- complete sucker for this one

All This Time by @thejilyship

James and Lily grew up next door to one another. Their bedroom windows giving them glimpses into the others life, and also offering prime opportunities to argue with each other over every little thing. They never figured out how to be friends when they were kids, but now that they've graduated from college and are home for the summer, they have a second chance to get things right.

- one of my favvvv tropes

Let Me Love You by @thejilyship

With only a month until she's set to take the throne of Gryffindor, Lily is informed that she'll have to get married or choose to give up her throne. She never thought she'd have to even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. Enter, James Potter.

- cries in princess diares AU

The Fabulous Baker Brothers by @frustratedpoetwrites

Lily walks a different route home from work and stumbles upon a cute little Bakery with an even cuter baker in the window.

- yes yes yes to embarrassed pining.

Marigold Mornings by @mppmaraudergirl

This is a fun game she thinks, as she removes her hand from his side and reaches up to run it down his chest.  He catches her hand in his own, takes a step forward so that her nose nearly brushes against his shirt. She can feel the heat radiating off of him—or maybe it’s from her. He licks his lips and her eyes are drawn to the motion.  She knows it is a bad idea, absolutely knows it.

- incredible storytelling featuring dynamic characters :') a favvv

Welcome to Pettyville by@women-inthe-sequel @alrightginger

When Lily Evans accidentally sends a text to the wrong number, she isn’t expecting to find the right person behind it. She can’t stop talking to Prongs. The only thing is, Prongs can’t stop talking about the girl in his class. What could go wrong, other than the number?

- LOVE SQUARE ANYONE

The Kiss a Stranger Project by @alrightginger

“What’s your name, then?” she asks, realizing they haven’t even properly introduced themselves yet. She nervously crosses her arms.

You shouldn’t kiss a guy without knowing his name first.

Right?

- THIS ONE WILL LIVE IN MY MIND FOREVER

[saphirered]

Hello!

So here’s my idea, wizard reader is having an in-depth conversation with Gilmore about magic while the rest of Vox Machina are getting drinks at the bar. Reader looks over and sees a bar fight starting and goes “lol what a bunch of idiots” she looks closer and is “wait! Those are my idiots!” And she goes to help in the fight.

Mostly platonic shenanigans and maybe a dash of hinted romance if you feel like it. Have a good weekend!

Vox Machina, just returned from yet another adventure, high on adrenaline and willing (perhaps except for Vex) to spend the coin they made to celebrate their win.

“Come on! Join us!” Grog slaps a hand on your shoulder perhaps a bit too hard making you stumble. Keyleth comes up to your side throwing an arm over your shoulder as she fiddles with something in her other hand.

“Yeah! It will be fun!” Keyleth exclaims. You notice the thing she’s messing with and take it from her immediately wrapping it in a piece of cloth safely storing it.

“I’d love to but you lot are entirely to blame for not letting me identify these magical items we found. They might be dangerous. What if they’re cursed? What if one eats through the bag of holding causing a rift and sending you all to a floating demise in the Astral Sea, huh?”

“We could just sell them off? More coin to buy ale!” Grog beams swinging the new sword he found dread and anxiety filling your mind at the memory of Craven Edge.

“Just help me get this stuff to Gilmore and hope he’ll be willing to help.” You grumble adjusting the shield Pike found on your back. You swear, one day they’re gonna end up cursed if they don’t listen to you.

You were already hesitant when they wanted to raid the evil mage’s collection. After a multitude of traps being set off it didn’t exactly alleviate your worries and with the mage’s reputation, neither does carrying these items.

“Leave her alone, guys. Let the magic folks do magic stuff.” You’re about to thank Vax but of course he has to go ruin it when he addresses you directly.

“If you wanted to go see Gilmore so badly you could just have said so.” Vax grins with a wink.

“Oh, Vax, I would say you’re welcome to join but I think with your shameless flirting neither of us will get any work done by the end of the day. Would we even make it to the tavern come daybreak?” You wink back at the rogue at loss for words as Vex wipes away some tears of laughter seeing her brother’s expression, Scanlan slow claps with a nod of approval and even Percy tries his best to hold back a laugh covering it with a cough earning a glare from Vax.

You make it to Gilmore’s who’s more than happy to help you identify the magical items you’ve brought along cutting down work time by a lot. The rest of Vox Machina left to find a suitable tavern and would meet you later once you finished up.

Gilmore and you go through the stash of magical items quickly, as quick as you can of course which still takes the both of you the better part of an hour. And yes, some of the items you found are cursed and you couldn’t be more relieved they did not stay in the possession of your fellow party members long enough for some terrible effects to kick in.

Gilmore took those off your hands to dispel or lock away safely and the two of you would simply tell the others they disappeared, got destroyed in the process of identifying or weren’t worth anything and therefor not worth keeping around.

Successfully preventing what could quite possibly be yet another disaster you invited Gilmore along to grab a drink after a long day of work. The two of you got some drinks, found a table and continued your conversation under less focused circumstances.

“- and they simply cannot wrap their heads around the fact that enchanting takes not only time but a lot more gold than Vex is willing to spend. Cutting down the costs for R&D is simply impossible. I’d gladly make her some fireball arrows but she will have to accept the cheapest I can make them is 500gp a piece!” You lean your head on your crossed arms face down with a groan before sitting back up taking a swig of your drink.

“Forever the bane of practitioners of the arcane, dear.” The two of you clink your tankards together and drink. Some kind of commotion has begun on the other side of the room, people had already been gathered around making it difficult for you to see but it’s a tavern, not like you cared.

“That looks like the beginnings of a fight. What do you think? Cheater or sore loser?” Gilmore gestures towards the crowd getting rowdier.

“Both? Neither? The petty grievances of idiots?” You’re indifferent to the whole situation and prepare to sit back and watch the show enjoying your drink when you see a goliath burst from the crowd sending several people previously trying to keep him down flying in all directions with a roar in what could only be described as joy and excitement.

“Oh shit…” You throw your head back with an audible groan, let out a deep sigh and throw back your drink, slamming the now empty tankard on the table.

“These idiots will one day be the death of me.” Getting up from your seat you crack your knuckles trying to get a visual on your friends in what has now become a full on bar fight.

“But they are your idiots nonetheless.” Gilmore smiles all too innocently at you. Damn that charismatic sorcerer playing on your feels for your idiots. They are your idiots indeed.

A drunken halfling is mere inches away from clubbing Percy in the back of the head with a metal plate, Scanlan is running and dodging the attacks from a human by moving around chairs and tables and other people singing songs of encouragement to Pike who holds another by the front to their shirt punching them in the face. Keyleth has a grasping vine going attempting to keep her assailants at bay. Vex and Vax are back to back fighting off whoever comes at them with grins on their faces, picking a pocket here and there and Grog is enjoying tossing people into the furniture a little too much.

“Excuse me for just a moment.” You put on a proper apologetic smile before you turn around. The smile drops and you stride over to the group casting a 6th level hold person as you go successfully freezing, the halfling attacking Percy, two of Keyleth’s attackers, the one chasing Scanlan, and another that’s about to dodge Vex’s punch.

“Yeah!” Grog roars as he sees you join the fight. Maybe you’re enjoying this a bit too much for your own good after all… Someone should stop this fight before someone gets seriously hurt. Who are you kidding? You’re with Vox Machina; you’re basically gods.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

After reading your opinion on Molly Weasley, i want to know: What are you're opinions on the Weasley family? Besides Ron & Molly that is.

Five characters? In one post? Well, alright, here we go.

The Weasleys as a Whole

I’ve mentioned this before but JKR writes the Weasleys to clearly be a believable but ideal family. They’re all fiercely loyal, progressive per wizarding world standards, love each other and Harry deeply, and have this wonderful off-kilter joyous house where there’s always some rambunctious thing going on. 

Harry comes to associate the Weasleys with family and, personally, I believe a large part of him marrying Ginny boils down to it will make him a Weasley for real. 

That said, they’ve got some major issues. They’re very righteous people who, as a whole, will ice you out the moment they even suspect you do something that disagrees with them. You don’t even have to do it, what you did or didn’t do doesn’t even have to be something terrible or something bad, but god help you if the family decides they’re done with you. 

They’re very resentful of people like the Malfoys. This isn’t just because Lucius is a smarmy, pompous, ass (he is) or that he indirectly almost murdered Ginny but seems to mostly be because Lucius has so much money. All of their interactions seem to boil down to the money. More than this though, the Weasleys seem fully supportive of laws that... well, used against themselves would be a travesty but used against the likes of the Malfoys it’s about damn time.

They’re unquestioningly loyal to Dumbledore. Granted, most people we see in canon are, Dumbledore’s very very very good at convincing people he’s a saint. However, these guys are practically his cult member to the point where they do things like refuse to have Harry over the summer, even before Voldemort returned, because Dumbledore told them not to. 

They also never really adopt Harry into the family. Oh they give him a nice sweater, he comes over every once in a while to the house, he’s very good friends with Ron but he’s mostly treated just like that, a good friend. Now, there’s nothing wrong with this, except the way JKR sets it up we’re supposed to believe this is the family Harry found. It’s just that the family Harry’s found let’s him stay in a house with bars on his window where twelve-year-old Ron tells them, “Harry’s muggle family is really really awful” in a way that should have been raising red flags. Hermione practically lives at the Weasleys, Harry never does.

Now, are the Weasleys evil? No, far from it, they’re ordinary people who act in ways I’d expect ordinary people too. Technically they didn’t have to do anything more for Harry than they did, they didn’t have to hate Lucius Malfoy for better reasons, and they don’t have to be even slightly less worshipful of Dumbledore. They’re people, and they’re fine characters, but the overwhelming worship and love of the Weasleys we see across fandom does get on my nerves.

But you asked for individuals, so here we go.

 Arthur Weasley

Arthur is the epitome of “Pretty Fly for a White Guy” in the worst of ways and is, frankly, a giant awful joke to me. He’s the white kid you see going around with dread locks, a beanie the color of the Jamaican flag, smoking weed, and attempting to speak like Bob Marley 

Only, because he does it with muggle things, we’re supposed to find him funny and progressive.

Arthur is absolutely, albeit unwittingly, condescending in his love of muggle knickknacks. He has no idea how any of it actually works, not limited to how muggles could possible survive without the gold standard, but ardently believes he does because he can enchant the car to fly. Seriously, that he believes he’s an expert on muggle culture, as a pureblood wizard who heads an office in the ministry on it, is the worst part. His love of toasters comes across as, “Wow, look how cool it is that these poor little muggles made all this neat stuff. We should absolutely love the muggles because of it!” And that he heads an office in the ministry called “The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts” which is all about catching down Jackass style pranksters who think it would be hilarious of they enchanted toasters to bludgeon muggles to death...

Goddammit Arthur, why do you exist?

Right, otherwise, he’s got some pride issues going on. Part of the reason Percy is excommunicated is not so much that Percy doesn’t believe Harry, but because Percy dared to do better than Arthur in his own career. Arthur is stuck in his position as head of a joke of a department, he is an underling at its finest, and frankly likely only has that position because he’s a pureblood and the idea of putting a halfblood or even muggleborn at the head of a department dealing with muggles just made the higher ups shudder. (Don’t tell Arthur that though, he likes to think he’s not benefitting from nepotism). 

Arthur goes so far to accuse Percy as Fudge’s secretary as spying on him. Arthur, the guy who heads “Misuse of Muggle Artifacts”. Yeah, Arthur, I’m sure Fudge is really wasting his time using his straight laced secretary to find out all your dirty secrets. 

He also tends to see the world as very black and white. When Skeeter in book 4 writes an article after the Quidditch World Cup disaster complaining about the ministry’s lax security in enabling domestic terrorists to enter (something completely valid and true by the way) Arthur is so personally offended that both he and Percy go straight to the ministry to complain about Rita Skeeter and her daring to assume freedom of speech! HOW DARE SHE CALL THE MINISTRY’S NON-EXISTENT SECURITY AT THE WORLD CUP LAX! (To be fair, she also cited Arthur as having been in attendance at the event, a ministry employee, and having done nothing but, well, this is also true Arthur. You’re in a guerilla, underground, resistance movement. If I didn’t already think the Order was a joke this would kind of highlight it for me).

He’s also very resentful of Lucius Malfoy, and it seems to mostly be about the money. Arthur and Molly have a severe spending problem and actively resent that Lucius is swimming in money. That Arthur is ardently pleased about a law being passed in which the ministry without warrant can ransack Lucius Malfoy’s home... 

Well, Arthur, imagine the slippery slope if the government decides that it would like to search the Weasley home without warrant? In fact, he doesn’t even have to imagine it, as the beloved government in a few short years turns against him and then it’s all about how corrupt the ministry is. 

Arthur’s delightfully narrowminded, basically, and reminds us at nearly every opportunity.

Percy Weasley

Mostly, I just feel bad for Percy. Percy’s the son/brother that nobody likes and he’s painfully aware of that fact. He doesn’t fit in with the others, he has far too much ambition for the Gryffindor family and they resent him for it, and then he dares to say things like “I don’t know guys, Voldemort resurrecting from the dead after decades doesn’t sound plausible, we know Harry’s a little off kilter, and Dumbledore’s one shady dude”. Percy happens to be wrong about Voldemort resurrecting (and admits as much when the evidence is plainly visible), but he’s pretty on the money with the rest of it.

Regardless, growing up we see Ron constantly hating on Percy along with the rest of the siblings. I’m sure Percy is obnoxious, and certainly full of himself after making prefect and head boy, but he’s very clearly even before Order of the Phoenix the Least Favorite Brother (TM).

Then the Weasley family completely ices him out for a) getting a very high ranking position very quickly as Fudge’s secretary and b) not being gung ho about Dumbledore saying crazy things in the paper. Remember that to Percy Harry is Ron’s weird friend who seems to get into highly illegal activities every other week. From Percy’s point of view, it’s probably a matter of time before Harry becomes a crack head in Knockturn Alley (or given how behind the times wizards tend to be, an opium den). 

He’s constantly getting Ron into not only trouble but life threatening situations, is erratic and apparently a parseltongue of all things, and now Harry’s flipped his lid and saying that Voldemort has been resurrected after having gone through a very traumatic experience of watching a classmate somehow die. 

While we see Percy kind of (sort of)  make up with the family it’s clear that for Percy to have any relation with these people he’s the one who will always, ALWAYS, have to come crawling back on his knees and begging for forgiveness. It’s the Weasley way or the highway and I imagine, at some point probably a little after/during that epilogue, Percy will just slowly drift away because it’s just not worth it anymore.

Percy’s very much the black sheep of the family.

Fred and George Weasley

You all are going to kill me, but I actually don’t care in the slightest about Fred and George Weasley. This is because they basically have no personality aside from “funny”. 

They just have their weird, tandem, twin act and are either playing jokes on the school or else serving as Deus ex Machina in giving Harry magical items such as the Marauder’s Map for no apparent reason. The plot told them it was time, I guess. 

Their jokes, while not as bad as Sirius and James’ “Let’s sexually harrass Severus Snape by pantsing and beating him at the edge of Hogwarts lake” or Sirius’ “Let’s get Snape eaten by a werewolf!” are still often needlessly cruel and... kind of pointless. They harass Slytherin house constantly just because they happen to be Slytherins, they’re acceptable victims (which of course makes house tension that much worse). Harry gets sent a toilet seat in the hospital because... that’s funny? Har de har? 

They’re so indistinguishable from one another I routinely see people mistake which one got his ear chopped off and which one died. Because the point is, that we can’t tell the difference! It doesn’t matter who lived and who died because all we know is that Freorge is dead! 

Similarly, you see tons of fics around where character of the day ends up in this weird twincestuous relationship with Fred and George and it’s not only for a) that delightful twincest but b) because they’re such a singular unit that any attempt to pair one with somebody else feels weird. So you just get these porn fics about Fred and George being weird rapey teenagers who seem like they’d be more interested dating each other. 

Charlie Weasley

I really have no thoughts on Charlie. He raises dragons in Romania, the family loves him. Now, dragon raising feels like one of the most dangerous jobs in the Harry Potter universe, like Charlie had just gone and signed up to be a lumberjack but he seems to like it?

We really don’t see much of Charlie, he’s just the obligatory older Weasley son so that the Weasleys can be this ridiculously large family.

Bill Weasley

We see slightly more of Bill, but again, not enough to really leave an impression. We know that his marrying Fleur sent Molly into a complete state, and that they’re going to have awkward Christmas dinners forever because of it where Fleur just sits there and pretends not to loathe every second of Molly’s presence while Molly notes how bad it is that Victoire got stuck with that ugly pink hair instead of the Weasley red. 

Bill doesn’t seem to really do anything about this. He still marries Fleur, but we don’t really see a major confrontation where he tells the family “Look, I’m marrying her, so grow up.” So, I imagine he just tries to smile pleasantly and tells Fleur to just endure it for another few hours. He loves his family, his family’s great, but they only have to see Fleur once a year at Christmas.

Ginny Weasley

Ginny is weird. She’s this weird, frankly, almost personality-less void whose sole obsession in life seems to be marrying Harry. She and Harry end up in the world’s weirdest relationship and I honestly have no idea how people ship it other than canon told them to.

Ginny’s... well, first off, she’s very much in love with an idea. She had always worshipped Harry Potter but then he personally saves her life in what was a horrifically traumatic year and so that feeling just grows even more. Despite being Ron’s sister, she barely seems to know Harry, and everything she seems to like about it are just things she made up.

I imagine her and Harry’s marriage will be littered with affairs on her end. Not divorce though, because Harry would never admit his wife is having affairs on him all the time even if someone directly confronted him. Harry also won’t admit he’s gay. 

More than though we get hints of a personality. Ginny’s a fiery red-head tomboy with a temper. But... Well, it’s only ever hints. She never felt like a real person to me. She has I think one throwaway line about the Chamber of Secrets incident and how it personally affected her. We’re told she’s great at the bat boogey hex so we know she’s a fiery independent woman.

She feels more like a character sheet than an actual person. 

Whenever she’s around I always had this nagging question in my head where I ask why Ginny’s here. She has a lot of potential but nothing’s ever done with her. And when something is, it’s to get her into this bizarre relationship with Harry where he imagines there’s a green rage monster in his chest that loves her skin.

Okay Harry, if you say so. 

TL;DR: The Weasleys aren’t evil or anything, I’m not on Team Bash Them All, but they are shortsighted, ordinary, people who don’t deserve to be worshipped as all that is good in this world.

[alovesongshewrote]

If you're taking request, can I request Hisirdoux Casperan dating headcanons? Maybe the reader is a changling or wizard?

Dating | Hisirdox Casperan Headcannons

I hope you enjoy these, anon!  sorry it took me literal months to do.  if it makes you feel any better, my inbox is literally all requests i haven’t started yet, i’m really bad at that.  anyway!  here u go!

Taglist:  @furblrwurblr @einahpetsyarcip @sorrels-scribbling @anxious-stitcher @alive-and-afraid @animedweeb333 @douxiesdamsel @saroski05 @blixeon @yagirlcheesely

Headcannons

Right, so, the boy is a little bit of a disaster.  Be prepared for that.

I say that with love, btw, he is a very loveable disaster 

But y’know

He’s still a mess

Anyway

I can’t imagine being in a relationship with douxie is anything other than sweet

Like

He is there for you, whenever you need him

He’s v affectionate

And he’s tall, so like,,, he gives real good hugs

If you ever need a good vantage point, just jump on him, honestly

He can also just

Wrap his entire person around you

It’s v cute

Whenever you’re doing dishes or laundry or whatever, he’ll just come up behind you and drape himself over your shoulders

It’s the good shit

Uhh, what else

Steal his hoodie 

Do it

Actually, steal all of his clothes

Whenever you wear them, he melts

He’s a dope partner, honestly

Both in life and in fighting monsters 

I’d imagine you’d probably join him in his nightly job of protecting this realm

Especially if you are a witch or a changeling 

Speaking of

If you’re a changeling, your troll form is taller than him

So like

Pick him up in your troll form

If you’re a witch, then you can use a levitation charm and get basically the same results 

Which is just him blushing and saying something like

“(Y/NNNN,) put me downnnnnnnn.”

He does not mean that in the slightest

Do not put him down, he needs the physical contact

Anyway

Generally, your human form is smaller than his, so whenever you aren’t messing with him, the tables are tabled 

If u wanna get picked up, just ask

Uhhh what else

Ok

Here’s something cute

The man is a musician, right?

So yeah

He totally sings for u

It’s so fucking soft

Andddd you go to every Ash Dispersal Pattern performance because you’re also a supportive partner >:)

If you don’t know how to play any sort of instrument, but you want to know, he’ll totally teach you

In part because he wants to help, but also because if it’s something like guitar, he can put his arms around you to show you what you’re doing and it’s

SOFT!

Also, in dating douxie, you get to be bros with Zoe and Archie, and honestly, that’s like

The ultimate perk

You want embarrassing stories?  They’ve got them.  All of them.  There is no escape for Douxie.

But like

It’s so worth it to see you smile, he doesn’t even care

Ooh!!!

Speaking of things that make you smile

This man can kiss

He’s fuckin

Really good at it, actually 

And he only gets better the further into your relationship you get

Like

At first it’s just little pecks and such

He’s v gentle, v cautious 

But as time goes on

God damn

And like, he knows what’s up, the boi does not just kiss your lips

He’ll kiss your forehead, your shoulders, your neck

And being a gentleman, he is very big on kissing your hands

Both in the traditional sense bc gentleman, but also like

If you’re holding his face

He’ll just

Turn his head

And kiss your palm and your wrist and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

He’s so soft for you my guy

He’s a total simp

He fucking lets you steal his food, man

That’s how much he loves you

also he’s awful at grocery shopping, but when u take him with you, he’s suddenly,,, the best grocery shopper ever, 10/10 partner, pls take him with you on all your errands 

Uhhh

He has definitely said the, “Aww babe, you had a crush on me?  That’s embarrassing.” thing

You responded with, “We’re married.” even if you weren’t married yet

Speaking of, you’re like,,, probably that couple that accidentally proposes to each other at the same time

You’re both like,,, a lil bit of a disaster

But you work well together

You take care of him, make sure he doesn’t die

And he just

He makes you so happy, dude

Pls giv him love, honestly

And yeah… that’s it for now, lmaoooo

I never do headcannons, i should do these more

[crysdrawsthings]

Crys Reads Horus Heresy: False Gods

Started: 24.12.2021

Finished: 07.01.2022

Previous book: Horus Rising

And now for the assortment of my deranged notes. I am excluding some quotes I wrote down in Russian and might mix up names a bit where the translation is very different from the original:

Titans!!! Big robots go stomp-stomp! Hell yeah!

Ionah you are going into horny jail for this "raw male power" about your titan, yes this book had EC, but you are the one who will get bonk, I swear

99 virtues of Emperor, our beloved. Let me guess, good parenting is not on the list?

Loken has freckles, I repeat, Loken has freckles

Ah, so they left Kor Phaeron on Davin? Well, I am not surprised it turned into a shithole

Industrial catacombs of Cthonia. Interesting.

Horus sitting sad and alone in his room. Awww. Erebus is not good for your health, baby, come on.

Karkasy, ew, stop staring in the cleavages.

I am omitting several notes of myself talking about how I am going to get Erebus knees from here.

"At birth, I was named Erebus" LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE

Ohoho, slipping about the blade with Loken noticing

Note to self: apparently, at least Astartes and in 30k were flying in the Warp with blinds open. Must have been beautiful. And trippy.

Switching from "For Teh Emprah" to "Kill for the Warmaster". Foreshadowing much?

Ah yes, Horus and Petronella and "behold, my closest friends" with the camera panning to Mornival trying to make Torgaddon shut up about bear jokes

I think that one moment with Legions being all "yeeeeah! MURDER TIME!" is nicely written in a somewhat chilly manner, like, bad vibes, man, bad vibes

Oh, Nurgle and rotten moon!

TITANS TITANS TITANS STOMP STOMP

"Puny mortals?" Ew, Eezy, ew.

Note to self: apparently, some old Terran weapons can sever soul from the body!

Yes, sure, why use giant battle robots you have with you to blow up an obvious trap, Horus. Because glorious melee is obvious the right answer. This is how you get stabbed and die.

Ten floors of free fall. Horus, this is not your day, baby.

"Astartes were flung to the sides like kittens" Excuse me?

Sword from Ferrus? Good lad Ferrus made everyone swords? That sounds about right.

To be honest to poor nurgled dude. He got some points.

MAGNUS MAGNUS MAGNUS YEEEEEAH SHOW ME THE BEST LAD

Magnus you damn disaster wizard, love you sm, dude, like, I am going to fistfight Emps for you. Emps and Russ both at the same time, I have two fists actually

Someone needs to do something about this rampant slavery issue in the grimdark space

Petronella trying to lift Horus up. Feels.

As I suspected at least part of why Magnus wanted to use the spell for contacting Emps is because he wanted to prove a point that magic can save the Imperium. This is prideful, but, like, touching. I admire his dedication to the craft.

Crying Abaddon is an interesting mental image I have never considered...

Stampeding Astartes is scary and dangerous for nearby civilians. Damn, dudes...

Horus tells stuff to Petronella feeling that he might die soon. They could have had so much more interesting screentime together. But no, damn plot.

"Night Haunter - a very grumpy lad, and Lion is also as hard to deal with as Angron" Woah okay there dude

Erebus came running on the faintest scent of drama happening, why am I not surprised

Upcoming, Horus Lupercal and his amazing warp trips, part 1

The ritual method is certainly... creative

F in chat for the priestess who tried to kill Erebus, she tried to do what most in fandom only dream of

Erebus is selling the Chaos to Horus like bank people advertising the very profitable and safe loans and I am reeling

Oh, a cool quote about XI!

I wonder if Astartes do not really age, why is Qruze is constantly described as like, damn grandpa?

Karkasy, you might not pass all my vibe checks, but you definitely say some raw lines at a time

Magnus' feathered cape makes its appearance. Swag check - passed.

So, this is now canon, that by reading aloud from Erebus' head you can summon daemons, and no I am not accepting critique on this skewed perspective on the written word in the book

Okay, fine, I won't let you suffer through every occurrence of me running on the ceiling and fangirling over Magnus. He is still the best tho.

Well, RIP for Auretian Technocracy, but Horus wanted your premium toaster to give to Regulus and Kelbor-Hal.

Also no, I liked earlier Horus better, this one is fun as an evil scheming villain, but like, a bit cardboardy at times

Horus staring at Regulus and asking how much of a machine he is... Dude, have you heard of personal space?

"Wise advice of Fulgrim" Listen, I know this is before he became a four-armed snake who is constantly high, drunk, and vibing, but still it is such an interesting phrase to see.

But I mean, deciding to stop fighting in a pointless war and instead leaving to chill with sexy daemons is not the worst decision. Should have not abandoned his Legion tho.

Okay, what is the story with Lucious and his scars? Also, I will probably ignore this, because I like smooth pretty face Lucius more. Precious himbo

"Oh, come on, he is Warmaster, he goes where he wants" - I swear it sounds funnier in Russian and to me

If I had a coin for every time Fulgrim got his hands on a very cursed sword, I would have had two coins by now, which is not much, but it is interesting, that it happened twice. And hey, maybe his return to 40k will be with this sword that Yvraine looks for because he and Slaanesh will be doing a little trolling?

You know, here is this sword you want. It goes in a package with a murderous snake man

So, it seems to be either old retconned lore or just "official version" that apparently earthen technology was able to remove Butcher's Nails just Angron was against this

And well, here we have another case of people living a nice and comfortable life before Imperium decided that nope, can't do that.

[thiswasinevitableid]

54. I’m not sure what you think I said, but you start calling me an asshole and whip a ruler at me and somehow, we both end up in detention

Indruck, sfw, please?

Here you go! Content note: spiders appear at one point.

I based some of this AU--namely the concept of the Crucible and how magic is channeled--on the Carry On series by Rainbow Rowell. And Duck is trans in this, because any good wizarding school is inclusive.

After three years at Amnesty Academy, Duck is used to the objects being magically propelled through the air. But a ruler zipping through the air and smacking the back of his head is a new, unpleasant experience.

He tracks it to two chairs to his left, the new third year with the silver hair. He hasn’t even been here a day, what the fuck the is his problem?

“Hey, what the hell man?”

“You know very well what.”

“Uh, no I don’t, and I don’t appreciate bein hit with a fuckin ruler!”

“The maybe think before you insult someone next time!”

“I didn’t fuckin insult you! I don’t even know your name!”

“Ahem.” Ned, their Charms professor, looks down at them reproachfully, “gentlemen, while I know the review of Zone of Truth is rather dull, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t entertain yourselves with mindless conflict.”

“Sorry, Ned.” Duck mumbles, sending his pencil shooting below desk level to whack the other guy in the leg at the exact same moment he whips his pen at Duck’s hand.

“OW!”

Ned sighs, “I hate to do this, but-”

------------------------------------------------

“Detention! Lovely, my first day here and I’m in trouble. Thank you so much, Duck Newton, for landing us here.”

“You started it!” He growls as they take their seats. God, he hopes this isn’t one of Woodbridge’s days.

“Huh, only two.” Mama wipes her boots on the mat, closes the door behind her, “Afternoon, Duck. And…”

“Indrid.” Says his nemesis, “It is nice to meet you Professor C-” he cocks his head, “you really prefer I call you ‘Mama?’”

“Yep. Never could get behind that more formal stuff. Let some of the first years call me ‘Ms. Mama’ if they really need to feel like they’re showin some deference.”

Mama is deputy Headmistress of Amnesty. The only reason she’s not fully in charge is that she’s not a witch and some families object to that. So The Quell technically runs the school while Mama does most of the actual day to day work. She also teaches a course of non-magic practical skills because, “some things you can’t magic your way out of. Like taxes.”

Duck loves her class and, while he doesn’t understand why someone would opt into this weirdness, he admires the guts it takes as a fifteen year old human to walk into a wizarding school and declare that there was plenty you could learn there even though you couldn’t so much as send a spark from your fingers.

As he and Indrid watch the clock tick down, Mama pulls a bag from her satchel. The contents are cookies, which she offers to each of them.

“Barclay tryin’ out new recipes?”

“Course he is. Kid is gonna be the best damn kitchen witch in the country by the time he graduates. Guess he’s plannin to spend the summer drivin around and learnin the food magic of different regions.” She smiles, “bet you’ll never guess who’s goin’ with him.”

“Joe?”

“Bingo. Apparently he wants to study niche cultural magic.”

Duck’s pretty sure there’s another motive; sharing a van bed with Barclay. It sounds fun, roving the country, discovering new places with someone handsome by your side.

All that’s by his side is a glower hiding behind red glasses.

“Mama? I, ah, would it be possible for me to leave five minutes early? I’m supposed to get my pairing from the Crucible tonight.”

The older woman looks between the two of them, “Better tell me how you landed here first. Ned just said it was an argument.”

“He threw a ruler at me outta nowhere.”

“It was not, you know what you said.”

“The last thing I said before you hit me was ‘“nah, man’ when Billy offered me a pizza roll from his lunch.”

Indrid goes still, “Oh. I, ah, I misheard you. I thought you said 'mothman.' I apologize. I ought to have given you the benefit of the doubt.”

He seems so suddenly downtrodden that Duck shrugs, “Yeah, you should have. But it ain’t the worst thing that’s happened to me here. Not by a long shot.”

“No kiddin” Mama leans back on the desk, “Two of you can go at five til.”

His evening turns uneventful after that; dinner, hanging out with Juno and Aubrey, half doing homework and half fucking around on his phone in his room (the agreement between the school and the government is that a long as the students don’t post vidoes of themselves doing sick stunts with magic, the government will ignore any explosions and/monsters in the vicinity of the school).

He’s never had a roommate; when the Crucible spat out his name in fire on his first day, there was no other name with it. Almost everyone else rooms in pairs or trios. So his belongings are strewn about the tiny cabin that makes up his home away from home. Which is why, when the door creaks open at ten p.m, he sits up and prepares to fire off a spell.

Indrid stands in the doorway, one bag over his shoulder and another in his hand. He looks tired.

“Hello, Duck. Ah, I guess that one is my bed, then.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

The class schedules for Amnesty are generated by the heart of the school itself. Indrid isn’t entirely sure what that means, but the heart must not be terribly creative. It stuck him in divination class. He’s been seeing the future since he was five, managing it with his drawings since he was eight. Even the professor has no idea what to do with him, since the images come in like a garbled T.V signal when he uses a crystal ball and the cup shattered when he tried to read tea leaves.

At least Barclay gave him a conciliatory caramel while they swept up the shards. It made him feel a bit better, though whether that’s due to enchantment or Barclay being exceedingly good at cooking is hard to say.

And now he has to go to “Magical Weaponry.” Magical Defense he understands; there are still lots of malicious forces out there, or even just everyday evils that it’s good to be able to ward against. Plus, Vincent is a good professor, enthusiastic and understanding.

Professor Minerva is just as enthusiastic but twice as loud. This is their first day in the actual gym, as opposed to at a blackboard, and his visions suggest it’s going to go poorly for him. As it should; he’s not a fighter, he’s a disaster.

At Amnesty, magic is channeled through objects. Most people use wands or their hands but some, like Aubrey, use jewelry (a necklace from her mother) or another accessory.

Duck Newton uses a sword. Or he’s trying to. The sword seems to be winning.

“Exert your will on him, Duck Newton, he answers to you!”

“I answeeer to only the capable.”

“Shut up, Beacon.” Duck adjusts his grasp, but nothing happens until he drops the sword and sends a spell through his fingers. The target explodes. Indrid suddenly feels a bit better about his own probable performance.

Duck notices him, indicates the practice area next to him is clear. While they started off poorly, his roommate is doing his best to demonstrate southern hospitality. He invites Indrid to eat with him, helps him when his visions offer no help in navigating the grounds, and even lent him a blue and green shirt (Amnesty's colors) for his first Spirit Day. Duck is the best thing to happen to him in his first month here.

By the time class is over, they have six broken targets, a shredded mat, and a knife that is now a very confused frog between them. They manage to laugh about it, even as Duck scoops up the amphibian and tucks him into his shirt pocket.

It’s then that Indrid realizes he has a crush.

--------------------------------------------------

“You comin to the game tonight?” Juno measures her sapling.

“Assumin nothin comes up and nobody’s tryin to kill me, you know I’ll be there.” He loves cheering Juno on during her soccer games (hey, not everything has to be magic based, even at a wizarding school).

“Drat.”

The hissed frustration draws his attention to the far end of the work table. Indrid is trying to coax his Venus Flytraps to perk up, but they remain brown and limp.

“Need some help?”

“Please, as you clearly know what you’re doing.” Indrid tilts his head towards the sapling pine tree Duck is working on. If he does his growing spells right, he’ll be able to take it home as a Christmas Tree during winter break.

“You tend to picture words or, uh,pictures when you do your spells?”

“Images work best. The trouble is that the futures sometimes make it difficult for me to picture a spell clearly.”

“What if I try describing how I’d see it and you picture what I say?”

“It’s worth a try.” Indrid closes his eyes.

“Okay. Think about the roots drawin water up from the soil, about the traps absorbin nutrients from prey. That brown is goin green as they do, they’re stems are growin stronger…” he grins as the plant turns bright green, it’s mouths open, “hey, ‘Drid, look”

“Oh!” Indrid flaps his hands, “it worked! Now I can keep them healthy and big andohno, nono not again.”

The table cracks and collapses as the plant turns gigantic, blocking out the light from the greenhouse roof.

“Holy fuck, that’s great!”

“Language, sport, but I agree.” Thacker, the head of the magical Horticulture classes, whistles as he looks the plant up and down, “this is mighty impressive Indrid. Wonder if we could use it on some pumpkins come fall…”

“I don’t recommend it, unless you want them to chase people.” Indrid points to one of the heads, which is swaying in the air and lowering closer to him. It snaps and he leaps back, falling to a pile of potting soil. Thacker raises his walking stick and the flytrap returns to its proper size.

Duck helps Indrid up, but his friend stays quiet through the end of class and on the walk back to their room.

“You know it ain’t anythin to be ashamed of, right?” Duck flips on the light, “we all fuck up spells now and then. Hell, Aubrey is on track to be the best spellcaster this school’s ever seen and she still has trouble.”

“But mine go haywire constantly” Indrid flops, dejected, onto his bed, “forget mastering my powers, I’ll be lucky if I graduate able to keep them in check. If I graduate at all.” His hand searches the bed blindly; Duck sets the weighted, plush bat into so Indrid can set it on his chest.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never lasted more than a year at a magical school. Or a non-magical one. I started at Mt Vernon when I was fifteen. Tried Deep Hollow and Shasta the year after that. I’m powerful but I can’t seem to channel it well, and three different schools decided I was more trouble than I was worth.”

“Bullshit.” Duck rests a hand on Indrid’s knee, “you’re strugglin with somethin; that means you need more help, not less. And if anyone gets it into their heads to kick you outta Amnesty, I’ll raise a goddamn ruckus.”

Indrid chuckles, quiet and disbelieving.

“I’m serious. You know Aubrey and them would side with me, and Joe knows school policy well enough he could probably find a reason why them tryin to get rid of you was against the rule.”

“Thank you.” Indrid’s smile is a rare flower, fragile and stunning.

“You want one of those calm-down caramels Barclay made?”

“Please.”

Duck grabs the box from the cabinet of their little kitchenette, then snags a Coke and a pineapple soda from the fridge. Indrid is no longer horizontal, is instead sitting with his back to the wall so Duck has space to join him.

Under the fizz of fresh bubbles, his friend murmurs, ‘“Have people really tried to kill you?”

“Yep. Someone sent an assassin after me my first year, and there was a Dire wolf on the grounds last winter that was clearly locked on to my scent. Perk of bein a Chosen One.” He grumbles as he swigs his drink.

“...Who on earth sends an assassin after a fifteen year old?”

“Right?! Fuck if I know, they never got any information out of the guy. Fuckin prophecy I swear, I didn’t even want these powers, let alone to be some kind of hero.”

“I sympathize.” Indrid rests his head on Duck’s shoulder, “there are prophecies around my birth as well.”

Duck clunks their bottles together, “To bein’ fucked over by stuff we can’t control.”

Indrid drains his soda, then perks up, “Oh! Oh dear, you should go if you want to be there for Juno’s match.”

“Come with me?” Duck can’t get the image of the two of them sharing a giant pretzel while smushed thigh to thigh on the bleachers out of his head.

His friend grins, “Of course.”

-----------------------------------------------------

Duck hoped, after his not-great time in middle school, that a magic academy would be asshole free. But no, there are assholes everywhere, and these ones have even more tools for tormenting their targets. He’s never been one, nor have any of his friends. The one time someone tried to bully Barclay, Dani sicked three spectral hummingbirds on them until they apologized.

Indrid, odd and new, is an easy target, though he seems to hold his own just fine (and his proximity to the most powerful witch in school does scare off many potential antagonists). But three guys in their Magical Defense class have zeroed in on him.

They’re standing in line to practice against an evil eye when Indrid’s glasses, the ones he doesn’t take off even when he sleeps, hit the floor by Duck’s feet. Duck scrambles to grab them before they get stepped on, wondering why everyone is making such a fuss. Then he turns and backs up in alarm.

An eight foot tall moth creature is where Indrid should be, red eyes wide and claws clicking together anxious.

“Who let that thing in here?” Someone yells from behind him.

Indrid’s antenna flatten.

“Fuck, wasn’t expecting him to be that big a freak” one of the bullies scoffs.

Black wings twitch.

“Newton, give him the glasses back so we don’t have to look at him!”

Indrid trills, upset, and leaps into the air at the same moment Aubrey yells, “that’s enough” and Vincent shouts a reminder about no flames in enclosed spaces and also detention for you three. Duck is to busy climbing out the window Indrid flew through to pick up the details.

One two-story fall later, he’s chasing a dark shape into the Monongahela forest. While the parts of the woods near his hometown of Kepler are non-enchanted, this chunk is magic down to the moss (he plans to write his final year project on how those halves of forest mesh on an ecological level). One of the worst aspects of the enchanted portions is their tendency to re-shape around travelers. His usual way around this is to have an unwavering sense of where he’s going and pretend the woods are giving him an unchanging path to get there. But that trick does fuck-all when he doesn’t know his destination.

After two hours of searching he’s no closer to finding Indrid, it’s getting dark, and he’s debating heading back to the school for help. He hasn’t been this deep in the woods since he fled the Dire Wolf, and he knows the deeper you go into the trees, the wilder the magic becomes. Bad news for him, even worse for his friend who's out there somewhere, upset and alone.

Eight gigantic eyes glitter at him from the dirt, and he quickly rearranges who has it worse right now.

Throwing a burst of light into the trapdoor spiders eyes buys him enough time to bolt to a tree and climb. As soon as it crawls free of its burrow he freezes; if he’s remembering right, they use vibrations to locate prey.

Fuck, that thing is the size of a VW Beatle. Why is that even a thing? No spider needs to be this big!

In spite of his stillness, it spies him and sets its forelimbs on the tree-trunk. There’s nothing else for it; he draws Beacon, pictures the spider shrinking, and casts his spell.

A soft crunch of leaves signals it hitting the ground, now an unremarkable size for an arachnid. Just as he steps down a branch, a second trap door opens and an enraged spider bursts out, looking for it’s friend. When it can’t find it, it turns and snaps its mandibles at Duck. This time, Beacon does nothing, no matter how Duck commands and curses as his eight-legged doom gets closer.

A crackle of electricity and then this spider disappears as well. On the other side of the trunk, red eyes regard him with worry, “are you hurt?”

“Nah, all in one piece thanks to you.” He holds out his hand, “you wanna head back?”

“Yes, please.” Indrid flaps to the ground, Duck following him on foot and then turning them towards campus, “you did not need to come look for me.”

“Course I did, not gonna let my friend get swallowed up by the forest. Oh, here” he holds out the red glasses, “you want these back?”

“Not just yet. That is, if this form is not too alarming to you.”

Duck takes in the glossy feathers, the charming ruff, the way the face is still obviously Indrid yet excitingly new, “I’m good.”

Light flickers from black claws, stars and flowers spinning out with ease, “It’s so much easier when I’m like this. I never foresaw my disguise charm being an issue, but the older I’ve gotten the more it seems to influence my ability to control my spells. But, well, you saw how people reacted. Even you were startled.”

“In my defense, I thought you’d been eaten by, well, you.” Duck casts the same spell, vines of light chasing the red flowers, “I’m still sorry, though. You ain’t horrible like this, ‘Drid; you’re fuckin stunnin. Never seen anyone as incredible as you.”

Indrid stops, looking down at him, “Do you truly mean that?”

Duck rises on his toes, pecking his cheek, “Yeah, I do.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The Halloween Formal is the most elaborate event at Amnesty. Indrid feels that if there’s any day he’s within his rights to be in his true form, it’s when everyone else is dressed as monsters.

He doesn’t have a date. He thought Duck was in the same predicament. Then his friend left before he was half-done grooming his feathers, saying he needed to get flowers for his hot date.

Ah well. At least Indrid will get to see him there and spend some time with his friends.

He checks his reflection in the gleaming black walls, orange and purple lights glowing and jack’o lanterns floating above his head. He adjusts his robes, the nice red ones his father sent him, and prepares to enter the ballroom.

“Hold up.”

When he turns, Duck is standing there in his black dress shirt and green tie, looking for all the world like he’s alone.

“You got one more thing to put on” He holds out a bracelet of flowers, sized to slip perfectly over Indrid’s hand. There are matching flowers pinned to one side of Duck’s hair.

“Oh. Oh my. You really-”

Duck uses a small spell to bend Indrid into a kiss; it’s a bit messy, since their mouths aren’t meant to fit together, but Indrid would not trade it for all the magic in the world.

“Yeah, ‘Drid, I really do.” With that, Duck offers his elbow and they walk arm in arm into the great hall.

[bchanslvr]

𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐦

pairing - Draco Malfoy X Harry Potter

words - 1,650

warnings - angst, fluff, war, and our boys figuring out how to love.

written for - @drarrymicrofic , prompt: bloom

a/n -this is was originally supposed to be quite short but this is what happens when you procrastinate on your school work at 11 in the night bored out of your mind, nonetheless I hope you enjoy :)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I first saw you in Madam Malkin's Robes, with your unruly black hair, big bright-emerald eyes, full of wonder.

I thought of speaking to you, and so I did. You didn't like me I could tell. But it wasn't my fault I was raised like that and didn't know who you were.

-

The second time I saw you was at Hogwarts. You looked beautiful, standing there with that Weasley, your face sporting an adorable smile that even the toughest man in the world would melt against.

I knew you then. 'Famous Harry Potter'. It shocked me of course, my mind swimming with ideas to befriend you.

And when you didn't accept it, I was furious. You dare reject a Malfoy?

Since then I made it my life long goal till we graduate to make you pay.

-

Third year was a disaster. I wouldn't admit it but you've grown quite a bit. No longer where you the skinny, clumsy, awkward little git but something more.

Your hair was still the bird nest as ever, though I wouldn't say the same about the rest of you.

Your delicate face looked gorgeous. Those rosy lips of yours, glossy from you licking it, that crimson blush that appeared on your face every time you got embarrassed, your eyes. Damn your eyes.

I wouldn't say that every time I looked into them when we fight, I would get lost it them, mesmerized by their beauty. No, never!

And when I told myself way back in first year that I'll make you pay, how was I to keep that up, when you smile my whole world ignites?

-

Fourth year was nothing I expected it to be. That old man hosted this thing called 'The Triwizard Tournament'. It sounded dangerous in the least, and plus even if I wanted to join it, then I'd have to be at least seventeen.

So it left me wordless when your name was pulled from the cup-and I found myself worrying about you despite the hatred I treated you with.

Would something happen to you? Will you die? Will I never get the chance to confess my feelings towards you?

I realized soon enough that I never felt hatred toward you, more just jealousy.

My jealousy erupting more as I watched you dance the floor of the Yule Ball with that Patil girl, thinking it should have been me.

-

I had no idea what was happening in our fifth year. Everything a confusing puzzle piece.

I hadn't known what was happening at the seventh floor.

I hadn't known what the cruel lady had done to you.

I hadn't known that you've lost the one person that truly loved you with all his heart. That guilt, and absolute heartbreak that should have been visible in your pretty eyes instead masked with a fake facade of happiness that I could see right through because of all these years of watching you.

And I hadn't known- I hadn't know what was going to happen next.

-

Sixth year. Well... it did things to me. First I got the dark mark. The worst and most foolish decision of my life. All just to please my father.

I was given a mission, a mission from Vol- the dark lord himself. To kill Dumbledore.

I didn't want to do it. I really didn't. But I had to. Or else he'd kill me.

But Po-Harry on the other hand. God his sweet sweet smile. His gorgeous laugh. And dammit I'm in love with him. He could never hurt me-

-I was wrong.

Our fights were brutal yes, but not-not like this. I thought I was going to die. Right there. On the cold-bathroom floor.

Starring up at the man that I loved.

But I was wrong once again.

I looked into his forest green eyes, expecting to see anger, and victory for bringing me down like this. I deserved it honestly, after all that I've done to him, his friends. I really did.

But not this.

He wasn't smirking, wasn't even looking at me with any kind of emotion other then crying. Tears streaming down his face as I watched him panic not knowing what to do.

My ears were ringing, the only thing registering in them were Harry's small babbles of "I'm so sorry" "Oh I'm so sorry" "I- I swear I didn't-" "I didn't kno-"

Everything was starting to black out, his breathing slowing down. In the distance he heard a loud shout, and footsteps, cursing, and more shouting.

-

And when he woke up in the infirmary, he was disappointed. Harry wasn't there, nor was he for the rest of the year until that dread awful task.

Never in his life had he been more than thankful for his godfather. Severus had come in last minute and saved him, saved him from the life long of remorse he would serve if he had done the deed.

-

Seventh year, wasn't even seventh year anymore. It was war. Every single time of day he was pestered and worried. He hadn't seen Harry in months, almost a year. And he was terribly worried. He knew that he wasn't dead but that thought of where was he? is he safe? is he hurt?, kept him up at night regretting not telling Harry how he really felt.

The day he saw him at Malfoy Manor, covered in blisters and his gorgeous face turned into something like that made him almost retch.

But when his mom asked him if he was Harry Potter. He said he wasn't sure, looking at him directly trying to convey the message that he wasn't going to hurt him.

And when he fought for his wand, he let him because it was the only thing he could do.

-

The room of requirements was truing to ash by the second, the fire spreading closer and closer to him. And he thought for the second time that I really was going to die like this. Like a coward.

Never in his life tho had he thought that Harry Potter would come back for to save him. His wobbly hands holding onto the broom for dear life as they swerved through the fire back outside.

Harry had saved him. He couldn't be more thankful but before he could voice it Harry and his friends were gone.

He didn't protest really, they were in the middle of the war after all. So he let it go.

For next time.

-

And he thought that there will never be 'the next time' as Voldemort revealed that Harry was dead.

His heart shattering into million pieces as he took in the sight of the giant holding the love of his life in his arms.

The Weasley girl ran and screamed but he knew that she would never feel the same pain that I felt.

-

Relief and astonishment had never spread through my body faster than Longbottom had finished his bravery speech. I watched as his body fell down from the giants arm as he picked himself up.

I didn't know what took over me but my first instinct was to run to him. And so I did, I ran to him and threw him my wand. The split second of actual awe and love I saw in those green eyes giving me newfound strength.

I wanted to fight, oh so badly, but my parents. They would never understand me as I walked swollen with anger as they brought me away from where he was, fighting for the wizarding world.

-

Word that Harry had defeated Voldemort once and for all spread like wildfire. The whole of wizarding England rejoicing to the news.

But yet the thought of the most powerful dark wizard of all time had been defeated couldn't even bring him to smile.

-

Mum and I had a trial in 2 minutes. The nerves in my body on fire as my mind raced, thinking about how this last hour would describe the rest of our life.

My father had been put in Azkaban for a lifetime, my face forever sporting a small grin because that's exactly where he belonged. Tho my mum on the other hand. Not so much.

The clock seemed to go by faster than usual to where I found my mom and myself standing in the middle of the court as I basked in the few moments of silence.

-

My heart stuttered and tripled in size, my whole body beginning to sweat, my breathing becoming rapid.

Why? Because the man that I have loved for 7 years, the man that saved me and broke me, the man, the small-fragile boy I saw at the shop was here. There in the stands vouching for us. Even my mum breaking out in slight relief at seeing the man.

Our body finally relaxing a bit at the though of him winnings us our freedom because we knew that we didn't have that option in our hands.

-

I should have known from the beginning for what I was getting myself into. That I would have to face through so many trials and errors. Pain and relief. Pure torture to feeling like being on the edge of the world.

But I found myself never wanting to change a second of what my life had become as I closed my eyes in our bed. My arms holding onto the thing that had started all of this. My lips instinctively pressing softly against another.

And as we pulled apart and rested our heads on each other, our breaths and limbs tangled together, his soft emerald eyes holding the look of pure contentment and love. I find myself thinking of what new things will start to bloom into our lives like white lily's on a summer evening that Harry suggests to keep for good luck tucked into the corner in a sliver vase.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

taglist -@dearseungie @hey-there-angels [just send an ask or a comment to be added or removed from my taglist]