#I love the og but it just doesn’t suit my style

[existentialcrisis-24-7]

Subject to change as is all my redesigns, but this is the vibe I’m going for for Aisha/Layla’s enchantix

[floofysmallbob]

ok yes I read the mha manga and I had to stop a fuck ton of times to screech about the sexualization of teenagers, and the costumes in general aren’t practical or protective, so I, like many others, decided to redesign the costumes(and the characters, but mainly the costumes), starting with Yaoyorozu Momo.

I’m working on anatomy, and this has helped, but im still not the best, so if the proportions aren’t super accurate, please give me any tips you have to make them more so! so, here’s my hero costume design for Everything Hero: Creati

MAIN COSTUME:

hair pulled into a bun

high impact sports bra

unzips in the front and back

low rise athletic shorts

pockets

her og costume is already wayyy different from her normal style, she really only cares about practicality, so I didn’t take her style into account, otherwise it would look fairly different

sinchable cover up

it’s worn as a skirt kinda thing when not being used for modesty, like in the picture

everything has zippers on it

the zippers are high tech and magnetic for easy skin exposure, can also be remotely controlled by her smart watch

they have shit that can make dna super suits, technology implanted in zippers isn’t that much of a stretch

holographic technology

same thing with the visor, she can see approximately how much usable fat she has, pull up online data catalogs for certain items, etc

replaces the clunky ass books

utility belt that I can’t draw very well

contains snacks for her quirk as well as basic first aid and the like

knee and elbow pads

new, flat soled boots

a bit tall but they also zip up in the back

less skinny(she would maybe be skinny after excessive quirk use but not before) and I’ve given her more defined muscle

little bit of chub bc we love realistic body types

also some loosely defined abs

shorter/broader framed than I intended, but this was also my first redesign

COVER UP VERSION:

you can see just how low rise the shorts are

yes the bra underneath would realistically still be there but just unzipped but whatever

she canonically doesn’t care much about modesty but there are public decency laws and creepers so she gets a fucking cover up

also she is a teenager

COLD WEATHER VERSION:

thicker material

all of the black parts are unzippable

mainly there for warmth when she’s not engaging in active combat

I left the belt out but it’s still there

lined boots(not visible but I’d like to think so)

I made a mistake and accidentally had the shorts end where the cover up ends so they’re a little uneven

COLD WEATHER(WITH CLOAK)

cloak is there for warmth and occasionally stealth

yes the canon red one is more elegant but black absorbs more warmth and probably works better for stealth when she’s trying to pull off shit like the whole ‘operation sneak Bakugou out from under the nose of Japan’s most dangerous villain’ thing

HOT WEATHER VERSION:

I always thought it was dumb they only have a regular and cold weather version so I added one for hot weather

normal(not high collared) sports bra

also sometimes worn for her regular costume

the high collar one is only because it has more coverage and is similar to her prototype costume

which by the way, her prototype costume is way better than the canon one

shorter shorts

shorter boots

i probably should’ve given her those for all of her costumes but it’s fine

I don’t have cover up versions for this one

it’s a rough ish sketch, but I think I did fairly decent, and it helped a bit with drawing full body poses. I am editing this, with a few edits I made to the design, and with a proper bullet point format instead of just using dashes

[bananaactivity]

I finally finished good old Harry Hook, Now he’s Harry Killian Hook after his dad.

The reason I designed his father first was mostly so I could make them look similar. I suppose I still could have done that with Harry first but shut up I do what I want.

You’ll take notice that Harry looks WILDLY different from his usual self. His nose is slightly hooked and he has curly hair with an eyebrow slit like his father. He also has his dads random ass moles sunken eyes with long lower lashes and a little stubble. He has cuts on his face from training crocodiles. There are some way worse ones when he’s shirtless (he loves it tho, mans is a glutton for pain and suffering even his own💀🙏) I’m gonna withhold what he trained them for at this point in time💀💀💀. I also wanted him to look a little less goofy, he’s a pretty destructive dude and OG Harry is too Camp for me to see his exact likeness doing all I plan for him to do.

He and his dad look very similar which adds another reasoning for people fearing him. His fit is also very different from his usual punk leather, capri pants for some reason??? And absolutely disgusting white hoody shirt thing with fingerless leather hand things.

This is because Carlos refuses to style him any other way 💀. As a part of my au Carlos is now a fashion designer like his mother. His mother used to style Killian before he left for Neverland and in this Au Carlos loves and is obsessed with his mom 💀. So from a young age he’s always told Harry he’d be his stylist in the future when Harry was in power. Harry pays Carlos well and they are actually friends. ( Mal hates how close they are because she believes Harry could use Carlos to take over her turf, and Jay is jealous because Harry is HIS arch enemy or something, he doesn’t know what his problem is)

This Harry is a really rough person to handle, there are a lot of gangs on the isle but there is a separation. The sea gangs and the land gangs rarely get into it and mostly scuffle within each other. Mal and the rest of the core four rule over the most expansive land gang and Harry takes over his father’s old turf and expands it rather quickly. His dad’s gig was illegally giving transport to Auradonians who want a night of fun on the isle, it’s very profitable. He actually mirrors his father a lot, Killian would take down entire ships all alone so that his crew would know that mutiny would lead to so much destruction that there would barely be a crew to lead. Harry follows suit but received so much letal training from so many different people ,as his dad let him come on every trip he took to pick up his “imports”, that he’s much deadlier then his father.

Mal in my au is more like the dark fae/ Demi god that she was implied to be and is therefore heavily reliant on her powers. Harry scares her a little as she can’t understand how someone seemingly so powerless could strike so much fear. Carlos tries to tell her that Harry doesn’t gaf about physical land and his passion is the vast expanse of the sea but she becomes paranoid and shit happens 💀💀💀. Here’s a little scene of that real quick:

Carlos was exasperated. Harry was particularly interested in leathers and tight pants now and it was just awful. The poor dear had no clue it made him look like a disfigured hooligan. Not that Carlos was adverse to furs of course, Harry had given him so many exotic samples over the years… BUT GOD DAMMIT. The way Hook intertwined the two styles made him want to chuck up his lunch. He headed towards his room hoping to settle into a peaceful use of the remainder of the night, testing out some of the fabric and fur samples the Captain had gifted him. Mal made it quite clear it wouldn’t be so easy for him. “We need to talk Carlos.” He knew of only one topic that made her face contort that way. Better to feign ignorance, Mal didn’t like for him to be more clever than her typically . “ What of Darling… and do make it snappy, I’m so dead tired… I’ve been with my dearest client all day. Bless his heart he’s just so very awful with dressing him self the poor dear.” With a huff of her nose she began her rambling. “ About that, “dear client” of yours Carlos, Harry?. You need to stop seeing him.” “ HA!” Carlos couldn’t believe she was back on this tryst of hers with full force so soon, normally she would back off this hard for at least a month or two. “ Surley darling you must mean another dear client! Why Mal I almost believed you meant HARRY HOOK. My closest and most oldest clientele, my dear friend, my most generous patron! No, No darling you just can’t mean Captain Harry Hook, it’d almost sound as tho you meant to take away my most profitable source of revenue and resources~.” Mal was shifting on her feet, sometimes Carlos longed for others to see how vulnerable this king pin was, how nervous and unsure… but then he’d have no where to go and he refused to travel the seas with Harry on the daily day to day. He was much too expensive to upkeep and he wasn’t sure if Harry could stop his crew from murdering him eventually. “ You rely too much on hi-“ “RELY” Carlos scoffed, “ I said Harry was my MOST profitable, NOT my ONLY, anyone would be a fool to drop him as a client.” Mal was glowing with her “anger” now it wasn’t very frightening anymore. “ HES USING YOU TO GET TO ME AND ALL IVE WORKED FOR. Don’t you remember Jake? IZZY?? CHUBBS???? He’s cold and heartless. He’ll take over my turf… and then the whole Isle of the Lost! He’s a danger to our existence and YOU are always consorting with him!! Has he brainwashed you!! What have you told him about us?! HE COULD DESTROY US AT ANY MOMENT!!!” Carlos was exhausted, Mal was falling further into the pit of anxiety that comes with power. Harry avoided that pit rather admirably in Carlos’s eyes. He was so sure of what he wanted as far as power goes and Carlos just PRAYED that Mal would understand that. “ Mal… Harry is a PIRATE he doesn’t care about you beyond you leaving the Shrimp alone and never invading him. Something I disadvise HEAVILY for you to do. He WILL wipe you out if you don’t get ahold of yourself and THINK critically for once!” He breathed out once to calm himself before continuing. “ Mal- Darling, you’ve had me run the analytics of many a situation… I have personal experience with Harry and his behaviors and desires. He is a… very calculating pirate. The Sand Weaver incident occurred at a very strenuous time in Hooks life, he was VERY intentional during that time. All that he wanted ,truly, was planned for over those four years. Harry loves the sea, if he wanted to he would have infiltrated Villanend back then. He didn’t.” He could see the cracks in Mals resolve. It was looking as though he could get to those fabrics after all. “ I don’t like that he has such easy access to a member of my crew- my family…” This development was new to the norm of these conversations with Mal “Darling, I’m all he has left. Ive always wanted to style and now we’re both fulfilling what we wanted as children. Hook is no threat unless you MAKE him one.”-

END ( I’m running outta time lemme know what you think)

[ink-and-dagger]

You’re playing Baldur’s Gate 3 right? If Astrid were Tav (hope that makes sense), what would her class and backstory be? Who would she romance? :3c

I love this question – thank you so much for asking. I haven’t been able to play lately because the game keeps crashing on me sob sob so this has helped fill that BG3 shaped hole my my heart <3

So obviously I had to try and make her in the character creator and thankfully the game stayed stable enough for me to make a base even though it took 5 failed launch attempts

None of the character faces or hairstyles were right, so I just picked the closest and fiddled around a bit on procreate.

I’m going to stick the rest of my ramblings under a read more because I don’t to submit any poor unwitting bugger to that if they’re just trying to scroll their dash in peace

*also potential small BG3 spoilers below so read at your own risk*

If we’re staying super loyal to OG Astrid’s character then she’d be a Bard, simply because she doesn’t really have any combat training and she’s highly adept at wielding her wit and her words. But if I were going to give her a fighting style, I think she’d multi-class as Rogue and Cleric. I can imagine her dual-wielding daggers or short swords, taking out her enemies with a wink and a witty one liner, and also having an affinity for light-based spells and divination.

Her set BG3 background would definitely be Entertainer - “You live to sway and subvert your audience, engaging common crowds and high society alike”. From a narrative perspective I’d say that she grew up in the lower city with her mother, and they didn’t have an awful lot of money. Astrid would be Half-Elf, and her mother a Wood Elf (although for some reason likely derived from snobbery she pretends that she’s a High Elf). Astrid wouldn’t know anything about her father other than he’s human. Years later, when she’s around 16 years old, she learns that her mother up and left with her as a baby and moved to Balder’s Gate to ‘avoid her getting too attached to a mortal parent’. This would be the straw on the camels back for Astrid and she cuts ties and moves out. She gets a serving job at The Blushing Mermaid in exchange for room and board - and gradually becomes a skilled mixologist. It’s also where she would learn any fighting skills, given that it isn’t the most salubrious establishment in the city. Gal’s gotta know how to protect herself after all.

As for who she’d 💜Romance💜 — I’ve pin-balled between several answers because I think there are multiple viable options. Astrid has this wonderful openness about her that means she could potentially forge a connection with a few of the companions…

She’d be very close with Karlach simply because they’re both so similar. They’re both bright and perky, with positive personalities. I think they’d be absolute best buddies and would cause infuriating amounts of trouble together. Sisters from other misters <3

I think she’d grow close to Wyll because of their shared history of Tricky Parents™️. There might even be a spark of attraction between them at the start, but the more they get to know each other, the more they realise that they ultimately aren’t suited to each other in a romantic sense. Wyll needs someone settled and reliable, and Astrid needs someone with an edge that keeps her on her toes.

She’d accept the advances of Lae’zel and Halsin - but these wouldn’t develop beyond casual flings. And she’d definitely have a big whooping fat crush on Raphael (although I don’t think she’d sleep with Haarlep - she’d only be interested in the real-deal devil).

I think she’d have a soft spot for Gale. But I can’t decide whether or not it would develop into something deeper. I think Astrid they’d have good banter and Astrid would absolutely love teasing him. I think she’d offer him a lot of support and advice when it came to Mystra, and she’d be a real source of comfort for him. I can see Gale developing a crush on her, but I think it would be one-sided and he’d eventually move on once he accepts that nothing can come of it.

Ultimately, I think she’d end up fully romancing Astarion surprise surprise. He shares a lot of similarities with Silco’s character that we know Astrid is drawn to - morally grey, tortured soul, sarcastic humour. They’re also both very used to masking their true feelings and avoid getting close to anyone out of a sense of self-protection. I also just think their personalities would mesh together really well, and they’d be best friends as well as lovers. The flirting would be insufferable. They’d definitely end up going down the non-ascended route too <3

[rjam9]

fnaf movie teaser trailer is out so here are my initial thoughts i wrote when it first came out + my expanded thoughts now that i am not half asleep and running on adrenaline. (this note was also titled “FNAF TRAILER FUCK YEAH” in my notes, so that is the vibe im going for here)

initial thoughts:

- ooooh creepy vhs trailer love that for her

- it’s the. it’s the song tordear march i cant spell rn but it’s the thing it’s that thing i know

- Foxy plushie :]

- SHOWTIME BUTTON WOO

- OH MY GOD THEY LOOK SO GOOOD!!! YEAH!!!!!

- i hope we get the animatronics singing actual songs in this movie. even just one would be good. like in willys wonderland yknow. kinda

- ooh it’s abandoned?? i mean there was that theory for fnaf1 that the location was abandoned given the cobwebs and stuff, so i guess it’s not too far out of possibility

- THERES MIKE THERES THE GUY™️

- man the office and the cameras look EXACTLY like the game. they even got the poster!! fan!! the cup!! why am i so excited about a cup!!!

- Freddy be peaking

- is this lady supposed to be phone guy? i mean she is kinda introducing security guard to the job so maybe

- SPRINGLOCK SUIT??????!!!!

- ahh Foxy!!!

- the sister’s name is Abby right??

- idk how i feel about the red eyes but OH MY GOD FREDDY LOOKS SO COOL AHHH

- i kinda forgot Vanessa was in this movie my bad 🫣 the actor does kinda look like what i would picture an older Vanessa like in my head tho so cool!!

- (also is she also at the pizzeria?? what)

- THE KIDS!! THE MISSING KIDS OH MY GOODD

- they’re all there there’s five of them and they all looked themed so is Cassidy there?? Golden Freddy?? the one kid at the front is kinda wearing stripes like the Puppet but everyone else looks solid

- BUT THE KIDS THE KIDS ARE HERE FUCK YEAHHH

- IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED WITH A SHOT OF WILLIAM HELLO??

- why he in an office. Fazbear office?? home office?? he looks kinda smary snarky here but i think they could not have picked a better actor he was great in Scream so yayy

- Michael is having force visions more at ten

- IS THIS PHONE GUY?? WHERE IS HE??

- huh endoskeleton stepping on a ball okay

- into the PIT i must ADMIT —

- Foxy my guy Foxy my boy love ya

- again with the red eyes don’t know how i feel we’ll see when im less tired and it’s not super late where i live and im about to pass out

- logo!! also song return yeah

- DAY BEFORE MY BDAY FUCK YEAH

- okay bedtime now im tired byyyye

expanded thoughts:

- LOVE the 80s vibe in the vhs, especially the uniform/outfit the employee is wearing. she has so many pins. i definitely feel like this movie is going to capture the feel of the games super well, even if the story doesn’t quite match up.

- plus, all the game references! the Foxy plushie, the showtime button, the toreador march (and all the things you can see when Mike walks into the abandoned pizzeria — the prize corner, posters, and ESPECIALLY the security office) is so cool to see. again, i definitely think i will love the vibe of this movie, and i hope they nail the creepy atmosphere that made the original game so classic. i do think that i will have a heart attack and die as soon as i see one of the animatronics move tho.

- on that note — man, they look so good! ofc they do since it was Jim Henson’s Creature Shop that made them all, but holy shit they look so so great. i can’t remember if they ever said if costumes would be used, but i do remember that they casted voice actors! i do still hope some of the og voice actors get a cameo or smth, maybe just as guests of the pizzeria or on a television ad.

- i still stand by my “i hope the animatroincs sing a song in the movie a la Willy’s Wonderland style”. it’s definitely going on my bingo sheet and it’s one of those things i’ve always wanted to see. also, i did identify the song playing in the beginning (“i hear the secrets that you keep …”) and it is “Talking In Your Sleep” by The Romantics. it came out in 1983 though which is kinda funny. but also, 80s soundtrack confirmed?

- again, i do have the feeling that this is the “official” training tape for security guards, and Phone Guy (or whoever the equivalent of him is, maybe the guard that gets murked at the end) will still be there on recordings. even if it’s not Scott (which i don’t particularly care if it is or not), i still hope they include at least a nod or reference to him, even if this vhs lady is taking over the brunt of exposition and whatnot.

- SO ONTO THE SAW TORTURE DEVICE. my first thought was that it was maybe a springlock suit, but since people have pointed out the original Phone Guy line of “stuffing people into suits was deadly bc they were full of metal and wires and sharp things especially around the face area”, i think this is just a regular suit that’s been weaponized or twisted in some way. on that note, i am split half and half between “Mike actually gets captured and stuffed inside” and “Mike is just having a nightmare about the animatronics”. to be fair to Mike, i think everybody has nightmares about their minimum wage jobs.

- okay, so unpopular opinion, but i actually don’t mind the red eyes upon further reflection! they look kinda goofy, but i think it fits the vibe of the movie overall, and also i am always down for the “eye colour indicates mental state” trope. so, i’m digging it.

- THE MISSING KIDS!! sorry, i’m so excited over them lol. looking closer at them, i do think it’s going Bonnie (blue/purple shirt with bunny ears) — Freddy (brown striped shirt) — Foxy (red shirt and one hand all wrapped up) — Golden Freddy (top hat) — Chica (yellow and white dress). i have a feeling that this movie will probably just stick with the core five for now, bc i think trying to introduce the Puppet into this will make it way more complicated than it needs to be. but i also think it’s interesting that they’re in a forest? Mike is obviously having a dream or vision of some kind, but why manifest in a forest and not like the pizzeria itself? interesting, interesting.

- and now we have William! as others have stated, i am very glad with the direction they took him in. i always dislike the designs that make William look super old/greasy/creepy, and on the flipside, that ones that make him look super charming and suave. this guy managed to lure and kill multiple kids and get away with it for decades, so i think he needs to have a very friendly, warm, almost grandpa-like vibe to him (with just a hint of “oh he’s a lil fucked up actually”). make him too obviously creepy and there was no way he would be getting away scot-free (ha) for so long, but make him too charming and he comes across as a shady business man which kids would not be willing to follow in a back room. so, perfect vibe. i will go into a bit more detail below about where he is/what he’s doing, but i think the office choice is very interesting.

- this shot of the security guard getting killed is definitely going to be a cold opening tho. i can feel it in my bones. it’s going to open with this shot (or close to open) before cutting to Mike. i know what it’s going to do i am calling it right now,

- i have also come to realize that is Foxy’s foot stomping the ball and not a random endo nobody look at me

- i made an into the pit joke but i do think it would be very very cool if they included a nod to the fans like playing a bit of the melody of a popular fansong on a radio/tv or something like that. not something that i an explicitly hoping for, but would be super neat to include.

- i am making all my friends come see this movie with me they cannot argue with me bc it is the day before my birthday and they cannot argue with the birthday boy

predictions:

so, i think there are two ways this movie can go;

1) Mike is not William’s son

this is where i think this movie is going, just based off this trailer alone. i think William is the current Fazbear Ent./pizzeria owner who hires Mike (explaining why he is in an office), and Mike has no idea what he is getting into other than that he is a security guard. based off that one leaked clip of Mike beating up a guy in a mall, i think he got fired from his previous job, and is taking this one as a last resource to support his sister. while working there, he begins to experience visions of the missing kids and works to uncover the secrets of the place. i also think that he gets captured by the animatroincs (or William) at some point, and his sister Abby arrives to come save him, explaining why there’s the shot of him in the saw torture trap, he comes into the pizzeria alone, and all shots of Abby so far she is alone and the animatronics are already aggressive.

flaws in this idea though? idk how Vanessa (and the currently unnamed female villain) fit into this. but otherwise i think it’s pretty solid. the second way i think this movie will go is …

2) Mike IS William’s son

i think this one is least likely, but knowing that Scott wrote this movie and that the original decided script was about Michael Afton, i do think it’s a possibility. basically, much like in the games, Mike is William’s son who vaguely knows of his dad’s shitty deeds, and is trying to escape his past until he has the opportunity to work as a security guard at an old restaurant. the saw trap scene and the missing kid visions are nightmares sparked by his past, possibly things he saw/knew about while living with his dad. in that case, William is currently missing (and the scene in his office is a flashback) and the “unnamed female villain” is the current Fazbear ceo/worker who hires Mike on.

flaws in this idea? Abby — unless she is also William’s daughter and is a stand-in for Elizabeth, i do not know how this could work. if Mike adopted her as his sister, i feel like they do not have time for that plotline. and, once again, i have no clue how Vanessa factors into all this.

(my best guess for Vanessa is that in both plots she knows of William’s crimes and is trying stop him/free the ghosts, but in the first plot she works with Mike since he is new and clueless and in the second one against him bc she believes he is still working with his father. but i’m not sold on either of those yet).

so, my best guess overall is number 1, but honestly i would be happy with either. i am just so excited for this movie and can’t help but write about it, as i usually do. whatever ends up happening better be fun, though. i do not want to be bored during this lmao.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Reboot ask game:

She Ra and the Princesses of Power

Gonna get me canceled first ask. Very well.

The reason humans should go extinct | Created to piss off the original fans | It’s the biggest piece of dogshit | I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed | I’d give it more credit if this was an original property | I never saw this show and/or the original show so I can’t judge | it’s passable | It captures some of the magic of the original | it adds a fun change or two but keeps the themes consistent | It is on the level of the original | It EXCEEDS the original in some places | It’s the Definitive iteration.

She Ra and the Princess of Power is such a different show from the original 80’s cartoon that if it wasn’t for the names of the characters being taken, I’d not know it was She Ra reboot.

Now I’m not going to pretend that the original show was well written. It was an episodic show that had cheesy 80’s charm.

I’ve tried getting into this iteration of She ra on more than one occasion and each time… I don’t.

It doesn’t help that the animation style really doesn’t suit my taste (though some designs work but most don’t)

I kind of hate how easily the villains get redeemed. As if just to get ships to happen. At its worst I’d call it fanfiction of the original 1980’s show by someone that was on tumblr in the early 2010’s.

But, it does have some cool scenes that you can watch on YouTube, and some of the ideas the show tries to implement are cool. And I can respect that they tried to make a she ra world not connected to He-man… but it’s also why I get that some people that are fans of the OG hate the show.

Contrary to popular belief I don’t think the show was made to piss off old fans. I think there are some sparks of love for the OG property.

As time goes on I find myself softening on this show.

To those that enjoy the show, I’m glad you do. I think personally that the show shouldn’t have been a reboot at all, it would probably be better off if it was.

[everygame]

Spider-Man: Miles Morales (PS4)

Developed/Published by: Insomniac Games / Sony Interactive Entertainment Released: 12/11/2020 Completed: 11/01/2023 Completion: 100% playthrough. Trophies / Achievements: 82%

Well,  I wrote “see you in a year, Miles Morales” after playing through Spider-Man’s DLC and it took me about a year and a half to get to this, but I'll count it. I’ve written about two of these, so let’s just bullet point this one out, no order.

Peter Parker’s new face suuucks. I know it’s a done deal and it’s not even like the original face actor (John Bubniak) does his voice, but the new guy doesn’t fit the voice at all and does, as everyone says, looks like “we’ve got Tom Holland at home” except even more of a twat. At least he’s only in this briefly, but man, it’s going to be tough to play the next one. And I like the PS4 Spider-Man suit so much, too! It might even be my favourite Spidey design.

Miles is a great character. He’s completely out of his depth, and I love that they’ve drilled down on this even down to how he moves through the world, with a more awkward swinging style than the OG Spidey.

Unfortunately the main storyline here is a bit… cliche? Not only does it hit all the beats you expect, there’s far too much convenience to it. You’re in serious trouble when the mysterious baddie turns out to be like, the only other character that’s in the game, and without spoiling too much, super-hero stories are (imho) at their weakest when you think the existence of the hero might be the reason why the villains exist (rather than vice versa) and ending with the same “Eyyyy, New York protects it’s own, Spider-Man” beat again is played-out.

The worst thing about this is that the game is absolutely at it’s strongest when Miles Morales is doing what it feels like he set out to do, which is be his neighbourhood Spider-Man. I can’t tell if this is something that happened when they turned this from something DLC-adjacent into a full-priced game, but there’s a thread of missions where he’s helping out his local bodega and stuff that basically gets dropped completely and it actually feels unfinished. The conclusion is given in a… podcast, where your side-kick Ganke literally names every person in Harlem that helped which made me think it was going to lead to a conclusion where the big-bad kidnaps them all or something, but… no. Nothing.

To be honest, actually, that this uses the whole city is a weakness. Whenever I play these big open world games I think about how I never really learn the city, they’re just a backdrop to whatever I’m doing, unlike your Yakuzas and that, where you’re intimately familiar with the map and it becomes ever more real. Why couldn’t Harlem have been that? I don’t really need to be swinging all the way to the bloody financial district. Fence me in!

Yet… the game still feels great to play, all the side-missions and collectibles and shit are a breeze to play/fun to collect, and you don’t even notice that just as in the original the upgrades barely matter. Even here when combat and stealth are even more complicated with new invisibility and electricity powers (that aren’t especially well tutorialised) you can just basically play the game as competently as you wish and enjoy it.

Why does this game have a museum flashback? Is this something that all PlayStation Studios games have to have? It feels like such an afterthought here though, adding nothing to the major problem that the main baddie is a big-time idiot who, at the end of the game is basically running around with their fingers in their ears shouting “la la la I’m not listening” and it really, really undoes the pathos. I ain’t crying about a museum visit again, Sony!

I’m so very tired of Ashley Burch’s one voice. I guess I never played enough Nolan North games to feel this before.

Will I ever play it again? I like that the main storyline is so quick and actually, I did briefly consider beating the NG+ quickly to platinum this. But my backlog spreadsheet has more than 700 games on it. Really.

Final Thought: Starting to feel a bit weird about how much of my media consumption is Marvel now. At the time of writing I play about an hour of Marvel Snap a day and the next game I’ve downloaded to play through is Guardians of the Galaxy. Ah well, I did spend the Christmas period watching Rogers and Hammerstein musicals, I’ll let myself away with it.

Support Every Game I’ve Finished on ko-fi, either via a one-off donation (pay what you like) or by joining as a supporter at just $1 a month.

[likeastars]

YURI TIME!!!!!!!!

I actually wanted to rec you a lot of these!!!! But you know them already >:/ you're too yuri informed I've been yuri beaten >>>>>:/

Anyway. I love both liar satsuki can see death and i see you aizawa-san and the way they're all about building connections with the people around them!! Especially in liar satsuki the cast of characters is so varied and creative (ATOU-SAN I LOVE YOU).

For me the biggest surprise among all of these was I love Amy because I was expecting a fun yandere story and then it became???? A touching commentary on mentally ill people falling in love and creating environments in which they can thrive???? It's so cute and so silly I had so much fun with it!!!

Also I started brides of iberis and why did you have to make me sad. Am I not sad enough normally why did we have to be sadder.

LET'S GO TO THE RECSSSSSSS

1. Her tale of shim-cheong/her shim-cheong: this one is required yuri reading. I wanted to do a manga section but I needed this one to be the first bc it's so good man. I was crying I was bawling I couldn't put my phone down. The art is a bit rough around the edges but it can be stunning and the plot is a fun retelling of a korean tale (of shim-cheong. Duh) but YURI!!!!!!!! It's a classic poor girl and rich girl fall in love but it's so well written it becomes so much more. It's such a beautiful conversation with the reader about misogyny and how brutal it was at the time and how it affects everyone independently of class. Our protagonist (poor girl) is obviously more physically in danger because of it (men steal her stuff, almost beat her up and sexually harass her) but we also follow the toll it has on the other main character (rich girl) and the way it doesn’t even allow her to have a name, which we never learn through the course of the story. She also has a dog motif going on which. Hell yeah. The comic gives a lot of dignity to characters like the prostitute, and it does a wonderful job of depicting queerness very explicitly (there's a scene where rich girl is dragged in a brothel by her brother when she's like 5 and she goes WHOOOOAAAAAAA)

Tw: violence, some blood, religious people being awful, sexual harassment (very well handled), general time-typical sexism, some slight ableism (<not handled as well)

2. Doughnuts under a crescent moon: this one has the very simple premise of two coworkers finding striking a friendship and finding solace in each other. It tackles these themes of queer shame and self sacrifice for others in a very grounded way that makes it a perfect comfort read. It also does a very good job of handling the experience of asexuality/aromanticism

Tw: self hatred

3. Everything by Arai Sumiko lmao: you might know this author for the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all (the green leasbians) (it's so cute and fluffy I bought it and now it sits on the shelf near madoka ohoohohoh) but she's written a lot of these like. One shots and concepts that are very interesting and fun, like "the real Momoka" where a butch and a femme switch names since they feel like they suit each other more, and they have to be in love for a while but the butch thinks she's just being played with :) I love Arai's style so much it looks like ice-cream, and I love her character design!!! She draws a lot of these women that are kinda alt (AND BUTCH HELL FUCKING YEAH) and don't really fit in into the classic rooster of manga characters :))) so just go through her stuff!!! Have fun!!!!

4. Some reincarnation manhwas: reincarnation manhwas used to be surprisingly... fruity? Before they started being mass produced like factory products. Some examples include: beware of the villainess, where the titular villainess tries to survive in her favourite story, realises the leads are trash and cures their misogyny with the power of SWORD. the og novel protagonist legit falls in love with her and she and the actual male (ugh) love interest fight all the time over the villainess' attention. One of my very first manhwa and and onemy fave storie in general <3 another cool one is your throne, all about the political intrigue where two women discover they can swap bodies and decide to kill their common ex. Top tier content. This one's a bit more subtle but they actually have a lot of romantic coded scenes, like calling each other "the one they love" and shit. It's there but I don't think the author intended it

It's very very well written BUT DON'T READ THE SECOND SEASON. IT'S TRASH.

Tw: violence, blood, abuse, sexual harassment

5. Surviving romance: still a manwha, but we're skewing more into webtoon territory. Still implied queerness but. It’s there. Come on. Girl ends up reincarnated in a novel but... shit happens. I'd feel bad spoling you the first few chapters of the comic because they are literally Insane. But she needs to find the unknown extra who saved her life (FRUITY) and there’s some music sharing and songs involved (EVEN MORE FRUITY) but I have to say this is just a genuinely well crafted story about finding community and a meta story about stories and reading. A bit of a mindfuck toh but really good

Tw: violence, gore, blood, zombies (don't ask), suicide, body horror (IT'S REALLY LIGHT HEARTED I PROMISE

6. Muted: <<This is fully webtoon territory!!!! I understand not wanting to get into it bc it's an app and you have to make an account for it (and the quality of the stories has started to get real bad real fast recently) but there's some gems in there if ya wanna try dabbling in it>>

THIS IS ABOUT GAY WITCHES!!!! AND TRAUMA!!!!!!! Stunning art, amazing story about the shackles of heterosexual abuse, and POLYAMOROUS GAY WITCHES AND DEMONS!!!!!!!!!! Amazing. Stellar. 20/10

Tw: blood, gore, some body horror?? (<demon possession), self harm (<for rituals), burn scars, parental abuse (this is an heavy one guys. Real heavy but real well written) and all of that jazz

7. The witch: GAY WITCHES AGAIN!!!!!!! I might have a type. This one follows a witch through the centuries as she meets people and falls in love again and again, until she meets the dragon 💖💖💖💖💖💖 this one's narrated like a fable and it takes the story reaaaaal slow and it takes many many chapter before the two leads even meet. WORTH IT THOUGH. SOOOO WORTH IT

8. Nevermore: I've been obsessed with this webcomic for years I don't even have the energy to talk about it anymore lmao. It's about tragic dead poe gothic lesbians. What more could you want??? If you want to learn more about it just go through the "nev" tag in my blog you'll learn more than enough.

Tw: violence, blood, neglect, medical abuse, ableism (<well handled), doomed yuri

9: facing the sun: this one is sad. Well written, splendidly drawn, with an amazing world building and characters with extremely interesting relationships between that but MAN is it sad. A woman falls in love with her medical support robot which gains sentience and with it mental illness. Kill me with an hammer.

Really good but :((((((

Also independently punished if you don't wanna read it on webtoon

Tw: WHERE DO I EVEN START. EVERYTHING. TOO SAD DO NOT READ (well. Do it actually. Just don't blame me.)

9. Tiger, tiger: LAST ONE!!!!!! SORRY FOR RAMBLING <3 Girl takes her brother's place on his merchant ship to study sea sponges and an eldritch horror falls in love with her <333333 this one's independently published, and the author's on tumblr!!!

Tw: some nudity, some violence, some body horror (by the eldritch horror)

*twirling my hair* do you have some good yuri manga recs?

(lying on my stomach and kicking my feet) i'm SO glad you asked!

to preface this i'll be excluding better-known yuri or yuri that's recently gotten its flowers (whether thru virality or adaptations) (e.g. in love with the villainess, love bullet, bloom into you, etc. etc.) and will instead be recc'ing works i don't often encounter in the wild. some will be more well-known than others, but all of these i've enjoyed and would encourage others to check out! under the cut because. this got. so long. i heart yuri <3

multi-chapter

the princess of sylph (ongoing; self-publishing): plot-heavy fantasy yuri between a bereaved princess with the aura of a thousand sad hamsters and a persistent nun whose silliness conceals a deep well of trauma. gushed about it plenty here. i recommend starting with the serialized version, the proceeding to the twitter version + extras. cw: blood, violence, dismemberment (nothing too graphic, more standard monster-fighting fare).

i love amy (completed): school loner strikes an unlikely friendship with the girl known (and feared) for her violent tendencies and single-minded obsession with the school prince. cute but striking and skilled art with a surprisingly nuanced handling of trauma and neurodivergence. cw: attempted child murder, animal death (non-graphic). there are also depictions of standard yandere fare (kidnapping, torture basements) but they're always presented comedically.

i see you, aizawa-san! (ongoing): girl who steadfastly pretends not to see ghosts meets one she just can't seem to ignore: a deceased classmate and former j-pop idol, who has taken to haunting their classroom. ft. art that harkens back to classic shoujo and a supernatural mystery centred on the relationship between the two leads--that one of them can't seem to remember. cw: blood, body horror.

school zone girls (on hiatus): slice of life yuri comedy ft. a massive interconnected web of girls spanning at least three schools. it juggles gut-busting comedy with genuine heartfelt moments of character growth and connection and expresses it all through a solid, dynamic art style. the sprawling cast also makes for incredible outsider pov moments that lets us really appreciate how far some characters have gotten. this genuinely motivated me to revamp how i approached ensemble casts for my ocs.

brides of iberis (completed): wedding planner unenthusiastic about her engagement falls in love with a bride she's taken as a client. bittersweet but deeply loving; and so compassionate to each and every character, even the men the female leads have relationships with. cw: infidelity.

destroy it all and love me in hell! (ongoing): model student finds her miserable, tightly controlled life unraveling after being blackmailed by the class truant into indulging her ugliest impulses. toxic yuri extravaganza eleganza between two girls desperate for escape and the catharsis of fucking! shit! up!!! also hits that sweet sweet "love triangle as a conflict of ideals" beat. cw: blackmail, coercion, bullying, violence, emotional abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, adult/minor relationship.

yuri is forbidden for the yuri otaku (completed): passionate himejoshi enrolls in an all-girls private school to observe class s yuri in action, but never to engage in it herself--at least, until a misunderstanding wins her the resident gyaru's heart. a surprisingly poignant exploration of being queer in a repressive society and experiencing your queerness through the safety of unobtainable fantasy.

the superstar idol crushes on me today too (ongoing): failed idol-slash-middling radio personality finds an unwanted superfan in the country's biggest superstar. explores the merit of pursuing your artistic passions in the face of repeated failure, and what makes an emotional anchor in the fraught seas of showbiz. they are also just so so funny. what if i emphatically declare you my rival in show business but you've been in love with me since you saw me in a cooking show as a child actor and you take any excuse to spend time with me and have my attention with blinding enthusiasm

normality and monsters (ongoing): outcast weirdo witnesses the class idol devour their homeroom teacher in one bite and begs to be trained in the art of appearing normal. the art is snappy and charismatic, the monster design is properly grotesque, and the friendship of convenience between the two leads teeters between overcoming the monster's nature and just being a prelude to the monster acquiring a new meatsuit. cw: blood, gore, death, body horror.

a monster wants to eat me (ongoing): suicidal girl meets carnivore mermaid who promises to eat her if she develops a desire to live. it's been a while since i read this one, but the monster designs are once again sick as fuck and the drama of being cared for by a creature that finds you tantalizing is sooo juicy. cw: suicidal ideation, blood, gore, violence, body horror.

liar satsuki can see death (completed): high schooler who can see corpses before the death occurs strives to save as many lives as possible despite being branded a liar by the entire student body. this and ryouko's other manga, a walk to death, are pretty banging declarations on the value of living ironically (or maybe aptly) wrapped in so much death. blanket cw for blood, gore and death bc i tell you every mini-arc somebody dies in a fun new way and we'd be here all day if we listed them out.

anthology:

i'm the villainess but i'm being captured by the heroine?!: an anthology featuring heroines of otome games swerving hard and sweeping the villainess off her feet. i am such a sucker for villainess yuri. mean women forever. my favourite chapters are vol. 1 ch.1 and vol. 2 chs. 1 and 4.

honourable mentions:

my idol sits the next desk over! (completed): loner idol otaku ends up deskmates with her oshi and between jealous sabotage from a rival stan and the herculean task of acting normal around your fave, lands herself in the first and closest friend group of her life. one girl does explicitly have romantic feelings for another girl, but i bumped it down here because it isn't explored to the extent it could have been. it felt like it was setting up a slow burn only to end abruptly. do not recommend if you want a love story, do recommend if you want lonely people forging deep and enduring bonds of friendship.

the one within the villainess (ongoing): the villainess of an otome game reawakens for her condemnation and sets off on a path of vengeance for the sake of the beloved transmigrator who's occupied her body for years. it's ostensibly het, but to hear the way that the villainess speaks of her transmigrator, the first person to love her wholeheartedly and wish for her happiness and so inadvertently prevent her from becoming the hollow bitter woman she originally grew into...... like. that is yuri. like what if i knew your life in its entirety and loved you for it and i found myself in the position to give you the happiness i always wished for you to have. what if we wrote fix-it fic for each other on the fabric of the universe. what if we never even had a conversation but we knew each other the best and loved each other most. and we were both girls. do you understand why i'm insane about them

[miru667]

A video of wips for my onceler zine cover piece! This drawing took me 6 months to finish haha. Click the readmore if you’re curious to learn more about my process and all the refs and inspos I used (transcribed from [this twitter thread]). [CLICK HERE] to see the finished piece.

I guess I’ll go from left to right? :>

7212 is my #1 ship in the fandom so of course I had to include some interaction for them..I purposely shaped that piece of confetti into almost-a-heart 9.9 In this interaction OG onceler is sizing him up to be his poster boy. It was inspired by this joke hc from junior: https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/43633972614/truffulajam-you-there-me-sir-ive

The hose is from one of the lorax mini-movies but more specifically its from the nightblogging event in 2012, here’s an archive of a lot of the hose memes we created that night: https://oncelerswaterhose.tumblr.com/

He doesn’t actually have suspenders in the movie but they were a popular headcanon for him in 2012 plus they’re hot so I included them. It was important to me to include this transitional onceler in between vestler and suitler to remind us all that this is the same guy going thru different stages of his life.

Gloves in the back pocket is from concept art: https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/146926446017/early-once-ler-sketches-by-eric-guillon-part-5

I really love the way I drew and coloured the folds of his coattails here too, as well as the moss I added last minute onto the truffula tree trunk.

The frame started out as just a plain brown rectangle and I thought, now that's not very seussy, so I referenced the Too Big To Fail frame in the movie. I believe it took me two whole days to draw just the frame. :,) And the seuss portrait I just referenced from google images but it was a challenge too; I had to completely redraw it near the end to make him look more accurate.

Lorax holding up a portrait of Seuss and using it to guilt the Onceler was inspired by a gag in Osomatsu-san where the characters would apologize to a portrait of their irl creator Akatsuka when they felt like they were being a bad adaptation of his original work 😂😂😂 loved it.

But it was also inspired by a very powerful comic drawn by my friend Rachel: https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/92807755387/tsg I would say Rachel's art has been the biggest inspo for me in the past decade in both style and emotion, so I'm really happy I could include her influence into my piece like this.

I was SO happy I thought of a way to include these 2012 refs: -Complaint Box -☄☄☄ Waterballoon fight nightblogging event -gent's marriage to the fandom -ed helms finding out about oncest -Thneedville/Thornville High AU -WHO IS SWAG/askblog identity crisis nightblogging event -You Only Live Once(ler) -tiny chat parties -Camp Weehawken AU -tumblr anons/magic anons -normaler -Shakespeareler/"I must keep biggering" nightblogging event -Stay stupid, baby!

I wish I could've included more cuz these are still just above-water stuff in the fandom iceberg imo. If anyone wants me to explain more about any of these refs, feel free to ask!

The flip phone is from the deleted scene, "YER ALL GOIN TO JAIL": https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/153925999832/truffulajam-youreallgoingtojailmov-from

The bottom fake button on his suit is canon: https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/615761075955187712/miru667-you-know-your-life-has-hit-a-new-low

This is my fav interaction in the piece...you can see it as either aftermath onceler taking the hat off of biggering onceler to foreshadow his fall, OR you can see it as aftermath-ler taking off his OWN hat to crown biggering-ler as the fool, because he's learned what a fool he's been. And actually a 3rd interpretation is aftermath-ler telling biggering-ler "yes enjoy your happiness while you can, king" 😂

And then with old onceler's hand on aftermath onceler's back, an act of consolation...I think it's very important to be able to forgive ur past self for the stupid things you've done, or else how can you continue? How can you grow? I can guarantee that 10 yrs ago we ALL did stupid things in the fandom. I originally drew aftermath frowning but changed it to a smile because he's thankful for the lessons and he can still look back on things fondly. I feel the same as him and I hope others do too. For this interaction I was inspired by Pearl fanart, she's a comfort character of mine and has helped me thru so much:  https://asteroidhyalosis.tumblr.com/post/188267156772 https://asteroidhyalosis.tumblr.com/post/623806330932805632

Biggering onceler’s side profile gave me THE HARDEST TIME. It was already January and I just COULD NOT get it to look right and I was ready to go take a 5 hour depression nap because of it but then my friend Edu saved the day ♥

Edu:  @hybridkilljoy​

Another friend contribution was the yellow bg. it was originally a boring flat gradient so Clara said "lmao what if I just gave you a yellow bg I painted to toss into ur file" because she had a rly good brush for it on procreate (and I was using paint tool sai and had nothing). i replied "oki" and then she just DOES IT..🥺♥

Clara:  @clarabellumsart​

idk where i'd be without my friends

I’m REALLY proud of this little area of my zine piece. The hand and blood is a ref to Truffula Flu, our zomb apocalypse AU. I had to redraw it twice to get it right. And I’ve drawn many a onceler chain but this is the BEST onceler chain I’ve EVER drawn. It took me many redraws to get it to look this way. Look at it just reaching out at you so fluidly..!! The lighting and the rust! Proud of me!!

The fallen truffula tree in the back...I really just thought "hey let's experiment with PAINTING" and went for it!! 😂 I wanted to pay tribute to my all time fav onceler fanart: https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/27320592159/ask-drawn-onceler-money-in-the-trees-lol-hey Whoever the mod of ask-drawn-onceler was, if you see this I hope you're doing ok!!

As you guys have probably gathered by now, nothing is ever too late to change for me. If I felt like I could redo something to be better, I'd DO IT. The tree is another example, I was rly bothered that it looked like tentacles (right) so I completely re-rendered it to be more soft and fluffy (left). What made me realize that I could do better was after drawing the trees here: https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/673766406272286720/early-spring-cleaning-part-2-drew-these-btwn I realized that actually, less is more, and that I had over-rendered the tree in my zine piece.

This was actually the first time I've EVER drawn old onceler, so I worked EXTRA hard...I hope I did him justice!! Every hair, every thread, every little thneed tuft was drawn with care. I even manually drew in the shadows for the stripes on his robe so they would look indented! And if you look closely in other screenshots, I also manually added shadows to every piece of thread that makes up the onceler suit stripes.

The LET IT GROW is in seuss font, but I didn’t type it, I drew the letters while mimicking the font’s style, then added edge lighting to make it look carved into the pot. Unfortunately we couldn’t keep the zine title in seuss font as well due to copyright restrictions and I think I might have died if I were to draw the title in seuss font too LMAO

The Audrey is of course intended to be movie Audrey but it's MY zine piece and I wanted to be a little self-indulgent.....so I drew some symbols on the plant pot representing my audrey oc, Audrey Grace. 🤫😇 She means everything to me. She is a direct result of the fandom and she keeps me in the fandom.

The blue kite originates from her mainverse askblog:  https://askaudtree.tumblr.com/post/71630954595/do-you-do-all-the-chores-in-the-house-hows-your She later uses it as a marker for lerkim hopping in zomb au:  https://audpocalypse.tumblr.com/post/178971798052/whats-that-blue-diamond-symbol-mean-its-on-your  She's a knife-wielding zombie slayer and also a kazoo master (the tree straightener in the pot has the same striped pattern as her kazoo): https://miru667.tumblr.com/post/629448230317490176/pls-click-for-hi-res-today-is-my-audreys https://audpocalypse.tumblr.com/post/179181386907/have-you-ever-run-into-any-lerkims-that-were

And because of spending so much of her life in an apocalypse, she’s learned to appreciate the fleetingness of life, because who knows what’ll happen tomorrow? Every moment is precious. This is cherry blossom philosophy: https://notwithoutmypassport.com/cherry-blossom-meaning-in-japan/

I think it’s so cool that since it took 6 months, I would improve like halfway into working on this piece which made me have to go back and redo some things LOL XD. The smoke in the background from the cigar was also painted with inspiration from tofublock, whom I discovered during the latter half of those 6 months too:  https://asteroidhyalosis.tumblr.com/tagged/tofublock https://asteroidhyalosis.tumblr.com/post/668656911468625921/will-you-watch-the-stars-with-me Look at the way they paint their clouds TTWTT so beautiful... I came across them while working on the zine and a lot of their art reminded me of my audrey so I was very taken!!

I positioned and coloured every piece of confetti with intent. The confetti idea itself I think was from Taylor Swift’s lyric video for 22 (Taylor’s Version): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9boiT64sm0Q&feature=youtu.be Again, inspiration that came to me while in the middle of working on the zine.

I composed the piece chronologically to mirror the rise and fall of our fandom experience, followed by the calmer, peaceful present days. Aftermath onceler in the piece represents the perceived death of the fandom but outsiders don’t realize we have AUs, we like characters other than onceler, we can extrapolate the story any which way...so that's all represented by the right side of the pic. We won’t stop biggering!

Thank you for reading if you made it this far.. I tried to include as much as I could into my piece so that hopefully everyone who is/was in the fandom feels seen.. Only the best for the Once-ler fandom, you know? And there’s actually so much more I can say about this piece but I’ll end it here.

[gamebunny-advance]

Grab Bag Doodle Dump

Some more bad doodles for y’all to gawk at.

1) “What is there to say?” I hunger for post-revolution Kliff/B2J situations. I started writing a comic script, but it was gettin’ a little sappy XP. At least too sappy for this goofy art style.

2) Superfan!AU. I wanna do something with them, but I’m not sure what. I had a comic idea about how during a fight with Tatiana, her time powers accidentally summoned the other Kliffs and they have to round them all up and send them back to their own timelines. Basically it just got into how they’re all terrible fans in their own way, but I thought the funniest joke was that DJSS really likes his Kliff, so he’s the hardest one to get back because he’s being protected. Anyway, that whole thing is scrapped for being too much work and generally just stupid XP.

3-7) Scrapped Comic: “Language”. I might come back and finish this up. I think it’s funny, but I can’t quite get Tatiana punching White to look right. The last panel is supposed to be an extra and doesn’t actually follow the fourth panel.

Neon J: Ta-dah! The improved 1010 MKIII!

White: Hey there pretty mama!

Tatiana: Firstly, do not call me, “Mama,” “Auntie,” “Babygirl,” “Chica,” or any variation therof. Do you understand?

White: ...

White: Yes, Daddy.

Neon J: 1010!!!

Neon J: What is your malfunction soldier?!

White: But, I don’t know what I did wrong...

8) Original strawberry!White concept. It was just gonna be a pink!White, but that made me think “strawberry milkshake” and that made me think “malt shop” and thus that series is now a thing. Originally it was just gonna be White and Green together, to give me a little catharsis after writing them with such a terrible relationship in Desynchronized, but I decided to expand it into the full set. I dunno, I might still do something cute with them after the key visuals are done.

9-10) Pac and R.O.B. I wanna start drawing my OG bois again. I hardly draw them at all nowadays, but I still love them very much. I’ve decided to stop drawing Pac with his weirdly thin limbs. I did that to replicate his original design, but I’m coming to terms with the fact that it just doesn’t work as well when he’s a human. It’s also been so long since I’ve drawn human!R.O.B. that I forgot the fine details of his suit. Actually, did he even wear a full bodysuit? He wore shorts, didn’t he? Regardless, I think this looks cool.

[hyperanaemia]

Over 1,600 votes! This got so many more responses that I thought it would. Some of the results, like the Unternet suit, was about what I was expecting but others really surprised me.  

A lot of people left really insightful notes and responses on their choices and favorite suits and I wanted to share some of my thoughts as well. 

Suit number one! The OG with only 3%. I’m so surprised this one didn’t get more votes. Honestly, it’s one of my faves and I think it’s a very clever redesign of the Robin suit. It’s an instant classic for me. There’s a reason why so many adaptations use it as a template. But I guess I can see some people seeing it as the default outfit and wanting to pick a different option. 

I can’t talk about number two without talking about three first. I had no idea this would be an unpopular opinion but I really don’t like the OYL suit. It only got in fourth with 13% but I was so surprised. I was so sure that other people would feel the same so I tried to find the most flattering picture of it so I could give it a “fair chance”. Looks like that was unnecessary. I get the sentimental value behind it and I do find it cool that they repurpose the original Bob Kane bat suit into a Robin suit. But whenever I look at it, it reminds me of that red, old-timey, long underwear with the butt flaps. And I just don’t like that it’s mostly one solid color without something to break up the design a bit. 

Number two, on the other hand, is what I think the OYL suit should look like. Just adding the black sleeves and bringing down the collar fixes the issues I have with it. And who doesn’t love the DCAU style? It’s perfectly simple and pleasing to look at. But it only got 5%. Better than some but what can you do? 

Number four, the first Red Robin suit! It’s one of my favorites. It’s simple and iconic but that cowl is really hit or miss for some people. It was one of the lower-rated suits with 6%. I remember really not liking the cowl the first time I saw it but it’s grown on me. I think a part of that comes down to the artist. I didn’t like the way Ramon Bachs drew it in the first few issues of Red Robin. It makes Tim look way older than he actually is. I like how Marcus To draws it way better. Tim still looks like a teenager/young adult in it. But cowl aside, the suit itself is perfect to me! I love the bandoliers, it’s a unique feature you don’t see very often and I like how they essentially function as extra utility belts. The design for the Red Robin outfit was originally from the Elseworlds comic Kingdom come, where Dick Grayson continued to use the robin mantel. I just love the idea of Tim carrying on the Robin legacy into adulthood and visualizing that by using this name and outfit. Tim is truly Dick’s legacy character and I love that connection. 

Speaking of Tim being Dick’s legacy character...  

Number five, the Unternet suit! I don’t think anyone is surprised this is the winner. It got a solid 30% of the votes! If you wanted more proof that Tim sees himself as the carrier of Dick’s legacy, this is it. When you’re in the Unternet, you appear how you see yourself. So, Tim wearing what is essentially a red version of the Nightwing suit is perfect. Also, it shows that even if Tim wasn’t taking on the name Nightwing, he was definitely taking on the role Nightwing has in the batfam. My favorite part of it is the mask! I think the covered nose is the perfect compromise between a domino mask and the cowl. It feels more mature than Tim’s old domino mask but has the expressiveness that the cowl lacks. I can’t be the only one who thinks Tim keeps taking his cowl off in Red Robin so we can get a better look at his face in emotional scenes. (And we love to see his hair of course) I’d say the only thing I don’t like about this suit is the red boots. I would have preferred if they were solid black or just had red soles. 

Number six is also one that I was surprised to see get so many votes. It just barely won second place with 21%. While I don’t hate it the way I do the OYL suit, I just don’t get the appeal. I think my problem with it is just all the patches on it. I think some superhero outfits add on things like color patches, straps, and belts in order to make designs look more interesting. But too much of that just blurs into visual noise to me. In my mind, an iconic design is something you can recall instantly. I think I’d like this one much more if it removed some elements. I’d just keep the red chest and remove the other patches and the logos on his shoulders. And change the colors of the straps and bandoliers back to how they look on the fourth suit, black with gold capsules. I feel like the solid gold-yellow is too distracting. But the wings! I really like the wings! It’s something so unique. I love the silhouette it gives him and it makes him stand out from the rest of the batfam. And it makes sense for a non-powered hero on a team of metas to have something that allows him to keep up. 

Oh boy, number seven. A whopping 2%. All the problems I have with number six is way worse on this one. Every inch has weird patches and intersecting lines that don’t make sense. And if you wanted to know why superhero outfits often use bright, primary colors instead of more neutral tones; here’s your answer. Brown is great if you’re a duck hiding from predators, but not when you're a comic book character. Also, not a fan of ditching the cape. If you voted for this one, you have strange and eclectic tastes and I admire your contrarianism. 

Number eight... When you voted and you saw this sitting at 0%, you’d be forgiven for thinking that no one voted for it. An absolutely tiny percentage did, there are just so few that they don’t even register as a percentage. And it’s not hard to see why. Since Flashpoint, I feel like Red Robin has felt less like a step forward/evolution of Robin and more like a side step. And this is the culmination of that. It’s essentially the same as Tim’s first Robin suit but worse. It just trades in the green pants for a green codpiece. Maybe it’s just the artist but the suit feels clunky to me. While I’d say number seven is a worse design overall, this one commits the biggest sin by being boring.  

And finally, number nine! It just barely got third place and it’s not hard to see why. I feel like this design boils down a lot of the better aspects of the other designs into one neat package. It’s simple and sleek and a great reimagining of the Robin suit for more modern tastes.  

It was really cool to get to see everyone else's thoughts on the outfits. One or two other people mentioned that an ideal suit would have the body from 4, the mask from 5, and maybe the wings from 6. I totally agree. 

There were a few people mentioning other suits, like Tim’s suit in the YJ cartoon and the Red Robin suit in Batman Unlimited, and such. I’ll be honest, I totally forgot about the YJ cartoon. I only watched the first season back in 2012 and never got around to seeing the rest. The poll only allows for ten options anyway, so I felt the ones I had on here covered the ones people would be familiar with. But who knows. It might be fun to do an auxiliary poll with some suits from the cartoons and video games or other suits I missed in the future.  

(Sorry, reposting since the first post wasn't registering votes)

[imagibunny]

I got the whole not casting younger ppl for this kinda of shows but they couldn’t find someone who looks physically young like Bloom actress ? I am sorry for the rant it’s just that I absolutely hate this version of Stella, she was my favorite fairy growing up and I loved fashion. I tried to be positive with Fate in two seasons, Every one of the girls had at least a decent clothes. Stella thought….. She went from someone came from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in S1 to a single mom who has two kids in S2 it’s hurting my eyes !! Where are the short dresses and short skirts?!! It’s Stella’s actress’s fault she said in an interview “ I am not comfortable wearing those outfits” . Like honey I get you but maybe next you shouldn’t accept a role that doesn’t suits your own style!!

NO UR ABSOLUTELY RIGHT

i hate the fashion in fate In General, it's just too bland, dark, and it feels like they're not trying enough

but yeah that's??? so fuckin obnoxious like omg. ma'am did you??? watch the og series????? if you're not comfortable with that type of fashion you should've turned down the role i'm sorry but this is annoying.

reeks of the situation where emma roberts butchered the ballroom gown for beauty and the beast to match her style instead i hATE I T

[cupsofteandcoffeespoons]

assigning glee characters to folklore songs

the 1: i think tina would sing this about mike at the end of season 6, after she proposed to him but before the five year time skip. (maybe she performs at a coffeeshop gig to make money during college?) it would be a reflection on their relationship, and how even though she’s happy with how her life is working out, she still would have loved to be with mike forever. 

cardigan: i don’t know about timelines, but i want to hear marley singing this. she has such a lovely voice, strong but not overpowering in the way that some of the other female singers on the show could be, and i think she’d do a beautiful job with this song - especially the bridge!

the last great american dynasty: for some reason i can really see marley taking this one?? idk why but it just feels very fun and light, while also telling a really neat story at the same time, and i think marley would nail that balance. also, something about marley’s general vibe and vocals really reminds me of taylor - i think they both have a similar tone, sweet and simple and lovely - so i can definitely see her doing a rendition very similar to the original song. 

exile: this is perfect for finchel around the breakup. they’d sing it as a duet, ofc, keeping the male/female parts the same as they are in the original song. i don’t have much to say about this, honestly - i feel like it’s a pretty obvious fit, and i think their voices would suit the song better than any other couple on the show.

my tears ricochet: this would be such a beautiful klaine duet set just after the breakup - maybe around thanksgiving? i think their voices go really well together (most of the time lolol) and i think kurt’s voice in particular would lend a super cool vibe to the songs. 

mirrorball: i’ve seen people give santana this one, but this song just SCREAMS quinn to me. i envision her singing this either while she’s getting ready for prom (shot in the style of i feel pretty/unpretty) or while walking home after finn breaks up with her at jean’s funeral. to me, this song is about constantly putting on masks and doing things solely because it’ll help her keep finn, and thus her status and image. i think the lines “i’m still a believer, but i don’t know why/i’ve never been a natural, all i do is try, try, try/i’m still on that trapeze/i’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me” really fit quinn during late season 2 - she’s desperately trying to present herself as the perfect girlfriend, because she’s watching finn fall back in love with rachel and thinks that if she just tries hard enough, maybe she can keep him this time around.

seven: brittana duet alert! i’ve always headcanoned them as childhood best friends, and i can see them performing it in season one or very early season 2, reflecting on their early relationship and how it’s changed. it’d be a really sweet duet that would give their characters some backstory and grounding.

august: i think rachel would sing this after finn and quinn get back together during season 2. it’d be a classic rachel solo, the kind with super exaggerated emotions that make the rest of the glee club slightly uncomfortable.

this is me trying: this gives me such santana vibes. i think she’d knock this song out of the park, with a lovely mix of emotion and control, and i think it would have absolutely been one of the best solos on the show. it’s heartbreaking and she would really make it mean something, you know? i think it’d be gorgeous.

illicit affairs: while i didn’t like finn or fuinn, i think their one duet was really lovely, and i think this could have been a good song for them to pair up on around silly love songs - after they start their relationship, but before people start to find out about it. it’d be kind of like roots before branches in the sense that finn wouldn’t spit equal vocals with quinn, but would instead be more of backup for her. it’d play during a montage of them meeting up in empty classrooms and sending each other emotionally charged looks during glee club meetings, very classic secret relationship stuff. 

invisible string: i think this could be a really lovely klaine duet!! again, a season 6 song, maybe during the wedding - it’s the story of how they feel like their romance was meant to be, and that “invisible string” of destiny is how they ended up overcoming all the obstacles to come back together.

mad woman: honestly give this to all the og glee girls towards the end of season 3 as one last hurrah before they head to nationals. i can see them doing it in the style of shake it out - all sitting on stools, with dramatic lighting, fierce outfits/makeup, and lots of complicated harmonies. 

epiphany: i want to hear quinn and santana sing this song together. their one duet on the show (take my breath away) was absolutely gorgeous, with fantastic harmonies and a light, breathy quality that would suit this song incredibly well.  

betty: another quinn song!! she’d sing this in season 3, after successfully talking rachel out of marrying finn (the car accident/baby stealing shit didn’t happen in this world, because those plots were stupid). she’d perform in front of the club, with backup from brittana, and she’d use it both to come out and to admit she has feelings for rachel - changing “james” to “quinn” ofc ;)

peace: this is a weird one, but stay with me on this - let puck sing this song. i feel like this song really sums up the crux of the problem that i have with quick - other than beth, they didn’t have much in common, and they were never able to give each other what they needed for a healthy, lasting relationship. however, i feel like puck would nail the emotional execution of this song. “would it be enough, if i could never give you peace?” is THE question that defines quick, and so i think puck would be the best fit for this song.

hoax: why am i getting brittany vibes from this? i mean, it’s a little profound for her, but i think she could sing this in early season 2, when she’s trying to convince santana to come out and be with her, before she and artie start dating. santana doesn't want to be with her openly, and brittany is hurt by that, but is still in love with and incredibly fond of her, so the song is about her clinging to santana even though she knows the relationship isn’t going to last unless santana is willing to go public.

the lakes: this was the trickiest song on the list for me, but i’m going to have to give it to quinn. quinn was very much set up as one of the smartest kids in glee club from an academic standpoint; she mentions being on honor roll in season 1, gets into yale, and tells rachel she had a straight A average while pregnant (which is literally SO impressive y’all), so it seems fitting to me that she would be the one to perform this song, which has very complicated, intellectual lyrics. she’d sing this in season 6 - and dedicate it to rachel of course.

[thepilotanon]

a slight bit of context: there's a trope that i think is adorable and funny, when two masc-leaning people go on a date and they try to over-gentleman each other (you might have even see the OG tumblr post).

would Loki and his/their(?) masc-leaning gentleman-ish s/o get stuck in these circles? would he just gladly accept the compliments and respect? would he still prefer to be the leading one? i'd like to know what do you think!

it's just that i'm asking, erm, for a friend, who is kinda masc and whose love language is acts of service

I've actually never heard of this, as far as I know, but I imagine it's pretty much a sort of affectionate game of trying to outdo one another by good gestures, politeness and spoils? If I'm wrong, please let me know - I'll try my best at this for your friend!

I feel like with the idea of being gentlemanly (or royally polite? It's rather gender neutral), Loki would enjoy trying to flirt with you with the immense skill of being raised as a prince of Asgard and having the training and being (metaphorically) backhanded with a glove by your own politeness and treating him on the same level. He finds it super fun and entertaining how similar manners and etiquette are between Asgard and Midgard, but also just to try and "out-flirt" each other with it. Regardless of your gender, Loki thoroughly enjoys doing it with you in private and in public.

While I think it's normal for Loki to take the lead of politeness - being the one to escort his partner, pulling out chairs, leading dancing, etc - he doesn't mind in the slightest when you pull the favor back by doing the same to him. You both thank each other with big smiles and gentle affections. I'm sure some people will turn heads and be confused/irritated by the way you two behave - not that it's wrong or not polite, but it's not the "old school/traditional way". Which is...hilarious, because why not take turns being polite and spoiling one another with, from Loki's perspective, just treating each other as equals and showing affection for one another that way?

Do you like wearing suits? Or suit coats with a skirt or whatnot? Loki would definitely feel giddy and enjoy going shopping with you to get fitted and finding the style that amplifies you in a crowd. You and Loki share accessories or sneak in little bits that remind you of each other. Loki pins little flowers to yours that he picked for you, and you do the same with Loki? I think it's cute, sue me. AND JUST LOKI COMPLIMENTING HOW LOVELY YOU LOOK AND JUST STARING AT YOU WITH LOVEY-DOVEY EYES AND PRETTY MUCH SHOWING YOU OFF TO OTHER GUESTS AND TELLING THEM ALL TO BE JEALOUS??

[kurtanaaa]

i am back to ask another gaga related glee question ☺️☝️

you get to give each member of the OG new directions (+ blaine & sam) a gaga solo, what are they singing?

everyone sit down shut the fuck up and listen to me i have important things to SAY thank you ANA

my only problem is i cant assign people just one so i will be listing other contenders if i have them

quinn: sinner's prayer. "and she wants nothing more than a man to please/maybe she's in too deep/her love for him ain't cheap/but it breaks/just like a knockoff piece from fulton street" tell me thats not quinn. tell me thats not quinn and ill tell you youre wrong. and the title alone... perfect for her religious trauma. ALSO it fits her alto voice!!!!! can you tell i had this one on standby for if i was ever asked something like this.

mercedes: you and i. now this is a song i mostly chose because i would absolutely love to hear it in her voice. she would fucking kill it and would sing it with so much emotion i can SEE it. also (pushing my samcedes agenda), its vaguely country vibe means it would be a great song to sing to/about sam's lil country ass. the shows version... did they really HAVE to mash it up with that other song. Did They. i was also seriously considering paper gangsta for her bc that would fit her s4 storyline SO WELL but i just wanna hear her Sing this one more. other contenders: paper gangsta and the fame

only now realizing how long this is, its going under a cut

kurt: hair. i cant avoid it man. this is just his fuckin song! this is it! i know the whole "hair" metaphor doesnt really work with short hair, but its about the MESSAGE! ITS ABOUT THE EMOTION! he just wants to be himself and he wants you to love him for who he is! other contenders: boys boys boys and donatella (i have to say i rlly did something here with the other contenders)

santana: marry the night. everything about this song is for her. god i wish we got the "santana exploring the lgbtq scene in new york" storyline we deserved because this would fit it perfectly. shes gonna drive down the streets dressed insane and be gay as fuck! and she's gonna be alive to see it! no other contenders bc this song is just Hers. sorry bout it! and my fucking god her voice would sound INCREDIBLE doing the "NIIIIIIIIIGHT" AT THE END

sam: alejandro. now we all love Our Local Slut Sam. this is his Single and Free vibing song, which he should've gotten maybe! at some point! just a lil moment to Vibe and be sexy. i think this would be SO FUN!!!! he needs to wear a weird outfit and weird makeup. basically i need sam to be more campy

tina: dance in the dark. god this song fucks. i dont wanna ramble on too much to explain exactly how much it connects to tina (because it connects SO MUCH. SO MUCH) but. its about the breaking free of expectations and the self-consciousness. it is! AND about being a woman and having to deal with those things specifically!!!!! also her voice is so sweet and suited to this song's range. other contenders: schieße

rachel: million reasons. i think that this song connects to her and finn and a lot of their relationship. plus, this song isn't really pop, which suits rachel's voice more. thats it really. other contenders: joanne (also about finn, but specifically his death.)

puck: dope. you know that post about changing hey there delilah to be about a man separated from his daughter? yeah do that with this one and make it about beth. do it i promise it doesn't hurt at all :)

artie: just dance. this is a song i think he himself would choose bc it is right in his pop wheelhouse. he would have fun with it i think! and no escaping, he has to sing both colby o'donis AND gaga's parts. he is not exempt from gaga. other contenders: mary jane holland and starstruck

blaine: fashion of his love. this just makes sense okay! it just does. "i'm gonna be his first and last kiss" ok miss thing!!!! you go kiss your man!!!!! other contenders: so happy i could die

mike: artpop. im gonna be real, i mostly chose this because i think he could dance to it in his Own Style. i dont think theres much of an explanation otherwise? HOWEVER. if it werent such a Kurt Song i would def also propose hair for mike. it would fit his storylines quite nicely! so, other contenders: hair and teeth (that makes it sound like its one song title They Are Separate)

finn: brown eyes. this ones about rachel. it tracks it checks out it adds up it makes sense. "everything could be everything if only we were older/guess its just a silly song about you/and how i lost you/and your brown eyes". and in the context of finns death it hurts more ! :) other contenders: 911

brittany: highway unicorn (road to love). now i'm not just saying this because of the unicorn. i AM saying this because it just feels very brittany in terms of vibes as well as it being something she can sing about santana (she don't care if your papers or your love is a law/she's a free soul burning roads with a flag in her bra). also i think she can dance to it somewhat which is important

BONUS

marley: judas or john wayne

jake: bad kids

unique: babylon

kitty: grigio girls

bc i couldnt stop thinking about these while making this post

[grigori77]

2020 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 3)

10.  WOLFWALKERS – eleven years ago, Irish director Tomm Moore exploded onto the animated cinema scene with The Secret of Kells, a spellbinding feature debut which captivated audiences the world over and even garnered an Oscar nomination.  Admittedly I didn’t actually even know about it until I discovered his work through his astonishing follow-up, Song of the Sea (another Academy Award nominee), in 2015, so when I finally caught it I was already a fan of Moore’s work.  It’s been a similarly long wait for his third feature, but he’s genuinely pulled off a hat-trick, delivering a third flawless film in a row which OF COURSE means that his latest feature is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, my top animated feature of 2020.  I could even be tempted to say it’s his best work to date … this is an ASTONISHING film, a work of such breath-taking, spell-binding beauty that I spent its entire hour and three-quarters glued to the screen, simple mesmerised by the wonder and majesty of this latest iteration of the characteristically stylised “Cartoon Saloon” look.  It’s also liberally steeped in Moore’s trademark Celtic vibe and atmosphere, once again delving deep into his homeland’s rich and evocative cultural history and mythology while also bringing us something far more original and personal – this time the titular supernatural beings are magical near-human beings whose own subconscious can assume the form of very real wolves.  Set in a particularly dark time in Irish history – namely 1650, when Oliver Cromwell was Lord Protector – the story follows Robyn (Honor Kneafsey, probably best known for the Christmas Prince films), the impetuous and spirited young daughter of English hunter Bill Goodfellowe (Sean Bean), brought in by the Protectorate to rid the city of Kilkenny of the wolves plaguing the area.  One day fate intervenes and Robyn meets Mebh Og MacTire (The Girl at the End of the Garden‘s Eve Whittaker), a wild girl living in the woods, whose accidental bite gives her strange dreams in which she becomes a wolf – turns out Mebh is a wolfwalker, and now so is Robyn … every aspect of this film is an utter triumph for Moore and co, who have crafted a work of living, breathing cinematic art that’s easily the equal to (if not even better than) the best that Disney, Dreamworks or any of the other animation studios could create.  Then there’s the excellent voice cast – Bean brings fatherly warmth and compassion to the role that belies his character’s intimidating size, while Kneafsey and Whittaker make for a sweet and sassy pair as they bond in spite of powerful cultural differences, and the masterful Simon McBurney (Harry Potter, Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) brings cool, understated menace to the role of Cromwell himself.  This is a film with plenty of emotional heft to go with its marvels, and once again displays the welcome dark side which added particular spice to Moore’s previous films, but ultimately this is still a gentle and heartfelt work of wonder that makes for equally suitable viewing for children as for those who are still kids at heart – ultimately, then, this is another triumph for one of the most singularly original filmmakers working in animation today, and if Wolfwalkers doesn’t make it third time lucky come Oscars-time then there’s no justice in the world …

9.  WONDER WOMAN 1984 – probably the biggest change for 2020 compared to pretty much all of the past decade is how different the fortunes of superhero cinema turned out to be.  A year earlier the Marvel Cinematic Universe had dominated all, but the DC Extended Universe still got a good hit in with big surprise hit Shazam!  Fast-forward to now and things are VERY different – DC suddenly came out in the lead, but only because Marvel’s intended heavy-hitters (two MCU movies, the first Venom sequel and potential hot-shit new franchise starter Morbius: the Living Vampire) found themselves continuously pushed back thanks to (back then) unforeseen circumstances which continue to shit all over our theatre-going slate for the immediate future.  In the end DC’s only SERIOUS competition turned out to be NETFLIX … never mind, at least we got ONE big established superhero blockbuster into the cinemas before the end of the year that the whole family could enjoy, and who better to headline it than DC’s “newest” big screen megastar, Diana Prince? Back in 2017 Monster’s Ball director Patty Jenkins’ monumental DCEU standalone spectacularly realigned the trajectory of a cinematic franchise that was visibly flagging, redesigning the template for the series’ future which has since led to some (mostly) consistently impressive subsequent offerings.  Needless to say it was a damn tough act to follow, but Jenkins and co-writers Geoff Johns (Arrow and The Flash) and David Callaham (The Expendables, Zombieland: Double Tap, future MCU entry Shang-Chi & the Legend of the Ten Rings) have risen to the challenge in fine style, delivering something which pretty much equals that spectacular franchise debut … as has Gal Gadot, who’s now OFFICIALLY made the role her own thanks to yet another showstopping and definitive performance as the unstoppable Amazonian goddess living amongst us.  She’s older and wiser than in the first film, but still hasn’t lost that forthright honesty and wonderfully pure heart we’ve come to love ever since her introduction in Zack Snyder’s troublesome but ultimately underrated Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (yes, that’s right, I said it!), and Gadot’s clear, overwhelming commitment to the role continues to pay off magnificently as she once again proves that Diana is THE VERY BEST superhero in the DCEU cinematic pantheon.  Although it takes place several decades after its predecessor, WW84 is, obviously, still very much a period piece, Jenkins and co this time perfectly capturing the sheer opulent and over-the-top tastelessness of the 1980s in all its big-haired, bad-suited, oversized shoulder-padded glory while telling a story that encapsulates the greedy excessiveness of the Reagan era, perfectly embodied in the film’s nominal villain, Max Lord (The Mandalorian himself, Pedro Pascal), a wishy-washy wannabe oil tycoon conman who chances upon a supercharged wish-rock and unleashes a devastating supernatural “monkey’s paw” upon the world. To say any more would give away a whole raft of spectacular twists and turns that deserve to be enjoyed good and cold, although they did spoil one major surprise in the trailer when they teased the return of Diana’s first love, Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) … needless to say this is another big blockbuster bursting with big characters, big action and BIG IDEAS, just what we’ve come to expect after Wonder Woman’s first triumphant big screen adventure.  Interestingly, the film starts out feeling like it’s going to be a bubbly, light, frothy affair – after a particularly stunning all-action opening flashback to Diana’s childhood on Themyscira, the film proper kicks off with a bright and breezy atmosphere that feels a bit like the kind of Saturday morning cartoon action the consistently impressive set-pieces take such unfettered joy in parodying, but as the stakes are raised the tone grows darker and more emotionally potent, the storm clouds gathering for a spectacularly epic climax that, for once, doesn’t feel too overblown or weighed down by its visual effects, while the intelligent script has unfathomable hidden depths to it, making us think far more than these kinds of blockbusters usually do.  It’s really great to see Chris Pine return since he was one of the best things about the first movie, and his lovably childlike wide-eyed wonder at this brave new world perfectly echoes Diana’s own last time round; Kristen Wiig, meanwhile, is pretty phenomenal throughout as Dr Barbara Minerva, the initially geeky and timid nerd who discovers an impressive inner strength but ultimately turns into a superpowered apex predator as she becomes one of Wonder Woman’s most infamous foes, the Cheetah; Pascal, of course, is clearly having the time of his life hamming it up to the hilt as Lord, playing gloriously against his effortlessly cool, charismatic action hero image to deliver a compellingly troubling examination of the monstrous corrupting influence of absolute power.  Once again, though, the film truly belongs to Gadot – she looks amazing, acts her socks off magnificently, and totally rules the movie.  After this, a second sequel is a no-brainer, because Wonder Woman remains the one DC superhero who’s truly capable of bearing the weight of this particular cinematic franchise on her powerful shoulders – needless to say, it’s already been greenlit, and with both Jenkins and Gadot onboard, I’m happy to sign up for more too …

8.  LOVE & MONSTERS – with the cinemas continuing their frustrating habit of opening for a little while and then closing while the pandemic ebbed and flowed in the months after the summer season, it was starting to look like there might not have been ANY big budget blockbusters to enjoy before year’s end as heavyweights like Black Widow, No Time To Die and Dune pulled back to potentially more certain release slots into 2021 (with only WW84 remaining stubbornly in place for Christmas).  Then Paramount decided to throw us a bone, opting to release this post-apocalyptic horror comedy on-demand in October instead, thus giving me the perfect little present to tie me over during the darkening days of autumn. The end result was a stone-cold gem that came out of nowhere to completely blow critics away, a spectacular sleeper hit that ultimately proved one of the year’s biggest and most brilliant surprises.  Director Michael Matthews may only have had South African indie thriller Five Fingers for Marseilles under his belt prior to this, but he proves he’s definitely a solid talent to watch in the future, crafting a fun and effective thrill-ride that, like all the best horror comedies, is consistently as funny as it is scary, sharing much of the same DNA as this particular mash-up genre’s classics like Tremors and Zombieland and standing up impressively well to such comparisons.  The story, penned by rising star Brian Duffield (who has TWO other entries on this list, Underwater and Spontaneous) and Matthew Robinson (The Invention of Lying, Dora & the Lost City of Gold), is also pretty ingenious and surprisingly original – a meteorite strike has unleashed weird mutagenic pathogens that warp various creepy crawly critters into gigantic monstrosities that have slaughter most of the world’s human population, leaving only a beleaguered, dwindling few to eke out a precarious living in underground colonies. Living in one such makeshift community is Joel Dawson (The Maze Runner’s Dylan O’Brien), a smart and likeable geek who really isn’t very adventurous, is extremely awkward and uncoordinated, and has a problem with freezing if threatened … which makes it all the more inexplicable when he decides, entirely against the advice of everyone he knows, to venture onto the surface so he can make the incredibly dangerous week-long trek to the neighbouring colony where his girlfriend Aimee (Iron Fist’s Jessica Henwick) has ended up.  Joel is, without a doubt, the best role that O’Brien has EVER had, a total dork who’s completely unsuited to this kind of adventure and, in the real world, sure to be eaten alive in the first five minutes, but he’s also such a fantastically believable, fallible everyman that every one of us desperate, pathetic omega-males and females can instantly put ourselves in his place, making it elementarily easy to root for him.  He’s also hilariously funny, his winningly self-deprecating sass and pitch perfect talent for physical comedy making it all the more rewarding watching each gloriously anarchic life-and-death encounter mould him into the year’s most unlikely action hero.  Henwick, meanwhile, once again impresses in a well-written role where she’s able to make a big impression despite her decidedly short screen time, as do the legendary Michael Rooker and brilliant newcomer Ariana Greenblatt as Clyde and Minnow, the adorably jaded, seen-it-all-before pair of “professional survivors” Joel meets en-route, who teach him to survive on the surface.  The action is fast, frenetic and potently visceral, the impressively realistic digital creature effects bringing a motley crew of bloodthirsty beasties to suitably blood-curdling life for the film’s consistently terrifying set-pieces, while the world-building is intricately thought-out and skilfully executed.  Altogether, this was an absolute joy from start to finish, and a film I enthusiastically endorsed to everyone I knew was looking for something fun to enjoy during the frustrating lockdown nights-in.  One of the cinematic year’s best kept secrets then, and a compelling sign of things to come for its up-and-coming director.

7.  PARASITE – I’ve been a fan of master Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho ever since I stumbled across his deeply weird but also thoroughly brilliant breakthrough feature The Host, and it’s a love that’s deepened since thanks to truly magnificent sci-fi actioner Snowpiercer, so I was looking forward to his latest feature as much as any movie geek, but even I wasn’t prepared for just what a runaway juggernaut of a hit this one turned out to be, from the insane box office to all that award-season glory (especially that undeniable clean-sweep at the Oscars). I’ll just come out and say it, this film deserves it all.  It’s EASILY Bong’s best film to date (which is really saying something), a masterful social satire and jet black comedy that raises some genuinely intriguing questions before delivering deeply troubling answers.  Straddling the ever-widening gulf between a disaffected idle rich upper class and impoverished, struggling lower class in modern-day Seoul, it tells the story of the Kim family – father Ki-taek (Bong’s good luck charm, Song Kang-ho), mother Chung-sook (Jang Hye-jin), son Ki-woo (Train to Busan’s Choi Woo-shik) and daughter Ki-jung (The Silenced’s Park So-dam) – a poor family living in a run-down basement apartment who live hand-to-mouth in minimum wage jobs and can barely rub two pennies together, until they’re presented with an intriguing opportunity.  Through happy chance, Ki-woon is hired as an English tutor for Park Da-hye (Jung Ji-so), the daughter of a wealthy family, which offers him the chance to recommend Ki-jung as an art tutor to the Parks’ troubled young son, Da-song (Jung Hyeon-jun). Soon the rest of the Kims are getting in on the act, the kids contriving opportunities for their father to replace Mr Park’s chauffeur and their mother to oust the family’s long-serving housekeeper, Gook Moon-gwang (Lee Jung-eun), and before long their situation has improved dramatically.  But as they two families become more deeply entwined, cracks begin to show in their supposed blissful harmony as the natural prejudices of their respective classes start to take hold, and as events spiral out of control a terrible confrontation looms on the horizon.  This is social commentary at its most scathing, Bong drawing on personal experiences from his youth to inform the razor-sharp script (co-written by his production assistant Han Jin-won), while he weaves a palpable atmosphere of knife-edged tension throughout to add spice to the perfectly observed dark humour of the situation, all the while throwing intriguing twists and turns at us before suddenly dropping such a massive jaw-dropper of a gear-change that the film completely turns on its head to stunning effect.  The cast are all thoroughly astounding, Song once again dominating the film with a turn at once sloppy and dishevelled but also poignant and heartfelt, while there are particularly noteworthy turns from Lee Sun-kyun as the Parks’ self-absorbed patriarch Dong-ik and Choi Yeo-jeong (The Concubine) as his flighty, easily-led wife Choi Yeon-gyo, as well as a fantastically weird appearance in the latter half from Park Myung-hoon.  This is heady stuff, dangerously seductive even as it becomes increasingly uncomfortable viewing, so that even as the screws tighten and everything goes to hell it’s simply impossible to look away.  Bong Joon-ho really has surpassed himself this time, delivering an existential mind-scrambler that lingers long after the credits have rolled and might even have you questioning your place in society once you’ve thought about it some. It deserves every single award and every ounce of praise it’s been lavished with, and looks set to go down as one of the true cinematic greats of this new decade.  Trust me, if this was a purely critical best-of list it’d be RIGHT AT THE TOP …

6.  THE OLD GUARD – Netflix’ undisputable TOP OFFERING of the summer came damn close to bagging the whole season, and I can’t help thinking that even if some of the stiffer competition had still been present it may well have still finished this high. Gina Prince-Blythewood (Love & Basketball, the Secret Life of Bees) directs comics legend Greg Rucka’s adaptation of his own popular series with uncanny skill and laser-focused visual flair considering there’s nothing on her previous CV to suggest she’d be THIS good at mounting a stomping great ultraviolent action thriller, ushering in a thoroughly engrossing tale of four ancient, invulnerable immortal warriors – Andy AKA Andromache of Scythia (Charlize Theron), Booker AKA Sebastian de Livre (Matthias Schoenaerts), Joe AKA Yusuf Al-Kaysani (Wolf’s Marwan Kenzari) and Nicky AKA Niccolo di Ginova (Trust’s Luca Marinelli) – who’ve been around forever, hiring out their services as mercenaries for righteous causes while jealously guarding their identities for fear of horrific experimentation and exploitation should their true natures ever be discovered.  Their anonymity is threatened, however, when they’re uncovered by former CIA operative James Copley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who’s working for the decidedly dodgy pharmaceutical conglomerate run by sociopathic billionaire Steven Merrick (Harry Melling, formerly Dudley in the Harry Potter movies), who want to capture these immortals so they can patent whatever it is that makes them keep on ticking … just as a fifth immortal, US Marine Nile Freeman (If Beale Street Could Talk’s KiKi Layne), awakens after being “killed” on deployment in Afghanistan.  The supporting players are excellent, particularly Ejiofor, smart and driven but ultimately principled and deeply conflicted about what he’s doing, even if he does have the best of intentions, and Melling, the kind of loathsome, reptilian scumbag you just love to hate, but the film REALLY DOES belong to the Old Guard themselves – Schoenaerts is a master brooder, spot-on casting as the group’s relative newcomer, only immortal since the Napoleonic Wars but clearly one seriously old soul who’s already VERY tired of the lifestyle, while Joe and Nicky (who met on opposing sides of the Crusades) are simply ADORABLE, an unapologetically matter-of-fact gay couple who are sweet, sassy and incredibly kind, the absolute emotional heart of the film; it’s the ladies, however, that are most memorable here.  Layne is exceptional, investing Nile with a steely intensity that puts her in good stead as her new existence threatens to overwhelm her and MORE THAN qualified to bust heads alongside her elders … but it’s ancient Greek warrior Andy who steals the film, Theron building on the astounding work she did in Atomic Blonde to prove, once and for all, that there’s no woman on Earth who looks better kicking arse than her (as Booker puts it, “that woman has forgotten more ways to kill than entire armies will ever learn”); in her hands, Andy truly is a goddess of death, tough as tungsten alloy and unflappable even in the face of hell itself, but underneath it all she hides a heart as big as any of her friends’.  They’re an impossibly lovable bunch and you feel you could follow them on another TEN adventures like this one, which is just as well, because Prince-Blythewood and Rucka certainly put them through their paces here – the drama is high (but frequently laced with a gentle, knowing sense of humour, particularly whenever Joe and Nicky are onscreen), as are the stakes, and the frequent action sequences are top-notch, executed with rare skill and bone-crunching zest, but also ALWAYS in service to the story.  Altogether this is an astounding film, a genuine victory for its makers and, it seems, for Netflix themselves – it’s become one of the platform’s biggest hits to date, earning well-deserved critical acclaim and great respect and genuine geek love from the fanbase at large.  After this, a sequel is not only inevitable, it’s ESSENTIAL …

5.  MANK – it’s always nice when David Fincher, one of my TOP FIVE ALL TIME FAVOURITE DIRECTORS, drops a new movie, because it can be GUARANTEED to place good and high in my rundown for that year.  The man is a frickin’ GENIUS, a true master of the craft, genuinely one of the auteur’s auteurs.  I’ve NEVER seen him deliver a bad film – even a misfiring Fincher (see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button or Alien 3) is still capable of creating GREAT CINEMA.  How? Why?  It’s because he genuinely LOVES the art form, it’s been his obsession all his life, and he’s spent every day of it becoming the best possible filmmaker he can be.  Who better to tell the story of the creation of one of the ULTIMATE cinematic masterpieces, then?  Benjamin Ross’ acclaimed biopic RKO 281 covered similar ground, presenting a compelling look into the making Citizen Kane, the timeless masterpiece of Hollywood’s ULTIMATE auteur, Orson Welles, but Fincher’s film is more interested in the original inspiration for the story, how it was written and, most importantly, the man who wrote it – Herman J. Mankiewicz, known to his friends as Mank. One of my favourite actors of all time, Gary Oldman, delivers yet another of his career best performances in the lead role, once a man of vision and incredible storytelling skill whose talents have largely been squandered through professional difficulties and personal vices, a burned out one-time great fallen on hard times whom Welles picks up out of the trash, dusts off and offers a chance to create something truly great again.  The only catch?  The subject of their film (albeit dressed up in the guise of fictional newspaper magnate Charles Foster Kane) is to be real-life publisher, politico and tycoon William Randolph Hurst (Charles Dance), once Mank’s friend and patron before they had a very public and messy falling out which partly led to his current circumstances.  As he toils away in seclusion on what is destined to become his true masterwork, flashbacks reveal to us the fascinating, moving and ultimately tragic tale of his rise and fall from grace in the movie business, set against the backdrop of one of the most tumultuous periods in American history.  Shooting a script that his own journalist and screenwriter father, Jack, crafted and then failed to bring to the screen himself before his death in 2003, Fincher has been working for almost a quarter century to make this film, and all that passion and drive is writ large on the screen – this is a glorious film ABOUT film, the art of it, the creation of it, and all the dirty little secrets of what the industry itself has always really been like, especially in that most glamorous and illusory of times.  The fact that Fincher shot in black and white and intentionally made it look like it was made in the early 1940s (the “golden age of the Silver Screen”, if you will) may seem like a gimmick, but instead it’s a very shrewd choice that expertly captures the gloss and moodiness of the age, almost looking like a contemporary companion piece to Kane itself, and it’s the perfect way to frame all the sharp-witted observation, subtly subversive character development and murky behind-the-scenes machinations that tell the story.  Oldman is in every way the star here, holding the screen with all the consummate skill and flair we’ve come to expect from him, but there’s no denying the uniformly excellent supporting cast are equal to the task here – Dance is at his regal, charismatic best as Hearst, while Amanda Seyfried is icily classy on the surface but mischievous and lovably grounded underneath as Hearst’s mistress, Marion Davies, who formed the basis for Kane’s most controversial character, Arliss Howard (Full Metal Jacket, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Moneyball) brings nuance and complexity to the role of MGM founder Louis B. Mayer, Tom Pelphrey (Banshee, Ozark) is understated but compelling as Mank’s younger screenwriter brother Joseph, and Lily Collins and Tuppence Middleton exude class and long-suffering stubbornness as the two main women in Mank’s life (his secretary and platonic muse, Rita Alexander, and his wife, Sara), while The Musketeers’ Tom Burke’s periodic but potent appearances as Orson Welles help to drive the story in the “present”.  Another Netflix release which I was (thankfully) able to catch on the big screen during one of the brief lulls between British lockdowns, this was a decidedly meta cinematic experience that perfectly encapsulated not only what is truly required for the creation of a screen epic, but also the latest pinnacle in the career of one of the greatest filmmakers working in the business today, powerful, stirring, intriguing and surprising in equal measure. Certainly it’s one of the most important films ABOUT so far film this century, but is it as good as Citizen Kane?  Boy, that’s a tough one …

4.  ENOLA HOLMES – ultimately, my top film for the autumn/winter movie season was also the film which finally topped my Netflix Original features list, as well as beating all other streaming offerings for the entire year (which is saying something, as you should know by now).  Had things been different, this would have been one of Warner Bros’ BIGGEST releases for the year in the cinema, of that I have no doubt, a surprise sleeper hit which would have taken the world by storm – as it is it’s STILL become a sensation, albeit in a much more mid-pandemic, lockdown home-viewing kind of way.  Before you start crying oh God no, not another Sherlock Holmes adaptation, this is a very different beast from either the Guy Ritchie take or the modernized BBC show, instead side-lining the great literary sleuth in favour of a delicious new AU version, based on The Case of the Missing Marquess, the first novel in the Enola Holmes Mysteries literary series from American YA author Nancy Springer.  Positing that Sherlock Holmes (Henry Cavill) and his elder brother Mycroft (Sam Claflin) had an equally ingenious and precocious baby sister, the film introduces us to Enola (Stranger Things’ Millie Bobby Brown), who’s been raised at home by their strong-willed mother Eudoria (Helena Bonham Carter) to be just as intelligent, well-read and intellectually skilled as her far more advantageously masculine elder siblings.  Then, on the morning of her sixteenth birthday, Enola awakens to find her mother has vanished, putting her in a pretty pickle since this leaves her a ward of Mycroft, a self-absorbed social peacock who finds her to be wilfully free-spirited and completely ill equipped to face the world, concluding that the only solution is sending her to boarding school where she’ll learn to become a proper lady.  Needless to say she’s horrified by the prospect, deciding to run away and search for her mother instead … this is about as perfect a family adventure film as you could wish for, following a vital, capable and compelling teen detective-in-the-making as she embarks on her very first investigation, as well as winding up tangled in a second to boot involving a young runaway noble, Viscount Tewkesbury, the Marquess of Basilwether (Medici’s Louis Partridge), and the film is a breezy, swift-paced and rewardingly entertaining romp that feels like a welcome breath of fresh air for a literary property which, beloved as it may be, has been adapted to death over the years.  Enola Holmes a brilliant young hero who’s perfectly crafted to carry the franchise forward in fresh new directions, and Brown brings her to life with effervescent charm, boisterous energy and mischievous irreverence that are entirely irresistible; Cavill and Claflin, meanwhile, are perfectly cast as the two very different brothers – this Sherlock is much less louche and world-weary than most previous versions, still razor sharp and intellectually restless but with a comfortable ease and a youthful spring in his step that perfectly suits the actor, while Mycroft is as superior and arrogant as ever, a preening arse we derive huge enjoyment watching Enola consistently get the best of; Bonham Carter doesn’t get a lot of screen-time but as we’d expect she does a lot with what she has to make the practical, eccentric and unapologetically modern Eudoria thoroughly memorable, while Partridge is carefree and likeable as the naïve but irresistible Tewkesbury, and there are strong supporting turns from Frances de la Tour as his stately grandmother, the Dowager, Susie Wokoma (Crazyhead, Truth Seekers) as Emily, a feisty suffragette who runs a jujitsu studio, Burn Gorman as dastardly thug-for-hire Linthorn, and Four Lions’ Adeel Akhtar as a particularly scuzzy Inspector Lestrade.  Seasoned TV director Harry Bradbeer (Fleabag, Killing Eve) makes his feature debut with an impressive splash, unfolding the action at a brisk pace while keeping the narrative firmly focused on an intricate mystery plot that throws in plenty of ingenious twists and turns before a suitably atmospheric climax and pleasing denouement which nonetheless artfully sets up more to come in the future, while screenwriter Jack Thorne (His Dark Materials, The Scouting Book for Boys, Wonder) delivers strong character work and liberally peppers the dialogue with a veritable cavalcade of witty zingers.  Boisterous, compelling, amusing, affecting and exciting in equal measure, this is a spirited and appealing slice of cinematic escapism that flatters its viewers and never talks down to them, a perfect little period adventure for a cosy Sunday afternoon.  Obviously there’s plenty of potential for more, and with further books to adapt there’s more than enough material for a pile of sequels – Neflix would be barmy indeed to turn their nose up at this opportunity …

3.  1917 – it’s a rare thing for a film to leave me truly shell-shocked by its sheer awesomeness, for me to walk out of a cinema in a genuine daze, unable to talk or even really think about much of anything for a few hours because I’m simply marvelling at what I’ve just witnessed.  Needless to say, when I do find a film like that (Fight Club, Inception, Mad Max: Fury Road) it usually earns a place very close to my heart indeed.  The latest tour-de-force from Sam Mendes is one of those films – an epic World War I thriller that plays out ENTIRELY in one shot, which doesn’t simply feel like a glorified gimmick or stunt but instead is a genuine MASTERPIECE of film, a mesmerising journey of emotion and imagination in a shockingly real environment that’s impossible to tear your eyes away from.  Sure, Mendes has impressed us before – his first film, American Beauty, is a GREAT movie, one of the most impressive feature debuts of the 2000s, while Skyfall is, in my opinion, quite simply THE BEST BOND FILM EVER MADE – but this is in a whole other league.  It’s an astounding achievement, made all the more impressive when you realise that there’s very little trickery at play here, no clever digital magic (just some augmentation here and there), it’s all real locations and sets, filmed in long, elaborately choreographed takes blended together with clever edits to make it as seamless as possible – it’s not the first film to try to do this (remember Birdman? Bushwick?), but I’ve never seen it done better, or with greater skill. But it’s not just a clever cinematic exercise, there’s a genuine story here, told with guts and urgency, and populated by real flesh and blood characters – the heart of the film is True History of the Kelly Gang’s George MacKay and Dean Chapman (probably best known as Tommen Baratheon in Game of Thrones) as Lance Corporals Will Schofield and Tom Blake, the two young tommies sent out across enemy territory on a desperate mission to stop a British regiment from rushing headlong into a German trap (Tom himself has a personal stake in this because his brother is an officer in the attack).  They’re a likeable pair, very human and relatable throughout, brave and true but never so overtly heroic that they stretch credibility, so when tragedy strikes along the way it’s particularly devastating; both deliver exceptional performances that effortlessly carry us through the film, and they’re given sterling support from a selection of top-drawer British talent, from Sherlock stars Andrew Scott and Benedict Cumberbatch to Mark Strong and Colin Firth, each delivering magnificently in small but potent cameos.  That said, the cinematography and art department are the BIGGEST stars here, masterful veteran DOP Roger Deakins (The Shawshank Redemption, Blade Runner 2049 and pretty much the Coen Brothers’ entire back catalogue among MANY others) making every frame sing with beauty, horror, tension or tragedy as the need arises, and the environments are SO REAL it feels less like production design than that someone simply sent the cast and crew back in time to film in the real Northern France circa 1917 – from a nightmarish trek across No Man’s Land to a desperate chase through a ruined French village lit only by dancing flare-light in the darkness before dawn, every scene is utterly immersive and simply STUNNING.  I don’t think it’s possible for Mendes to make a film better than this, but I sure hope he gives it a go all the same.  Either way, this was the most incredible, exhausting, truly AWESOME experience I had at the cinema all year – it’s a film that DESERVES to be seen on the big screen, and I feel truly sorry for those who missed the chance …

2.  BIRDS OF PREY & THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN – the only reason 1917 isn’t at number two is because Warner Bros.’ cinematic DC Extended Universe project FINALLY got round to bringing my favourite DC Comics title to the big screen.  It was been the biggest pleasure of my cinematic year getting to see my top DC superheroines brought to life on the big screen, and it was done in high style, in my opinion THE BEST of the DCEU films to date (yup, I loved it EVEN MORE than the Wonder Woman movies).  It was also great seeing Harley Quinn return after her show-stealing turn in David Ayer’s clunky but ultimately still hugely enjoyable Suicide Squad, better still that they got her SPOT ON this time – this is the Harley I’ve always loved in the comics, unpredictable, irreverent and entirely without regard for what anyone else thinks of her, as well as one talented psychiatrist.  Margot Robbie once more excels in the role she was basically BORN to play, clearly relishing the chance to finally do Harley TRUE justice, and she’s a total riot from start to finish, infectiously lovable no matter what crazy, sometimes downright REPRIHENSIBLE antics she gets up to.  Needless to say she’s the nominal star here, her latest ill-advised adventure driving the story – finally done with the Joker and itching to make her emancipation official, Harley publicly announces their breakup by blowing up Ace Chemicals (their love spot, basically), inadvertently painting a target on her back in the process since she’s no longer under the assumed protection of Gotham’s feared Clown Prince of Crime – but that doesn’t mean she eclipses the other main players the movie’s REALLY supposed to be about.  Each member of the Birds of Prey is beautifully written and brought to vivid, arse-kicking life by what had to be 2020’s most exciting cast – Helena Bertinelli, the Huntress, is the perfect character for Mary Elizabeth Winstead to finally pay off on that action hero potential she showed in Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, but this is a MUCH more enjoyable role outside of the fight choreography because while Helena may be a world-class dark avenger, socially she’s a total dork, which just makes her thoroughly adorable; Rosie Perez is similarly perfect casting as Renee Montoya, the uncompromising pint-sized Gotham PD detective who kicks against the corrupt system no matter what kind of trouble it gets her into, and just gets angrier all the time, paradoxically making us like her even more; and then there’s the film’s major controversy, at least as far as the fans are concerned, namely one Cassandra Cain.  Sure, this take is VERY different from the comics’ version (a nearly mute master assassin who went on to become the second woman to wear the mask of Batgirl before assuming her own crime-fighting mantle as Black Bat and now Orphan), but personally I like to think this is simply Cass at THE VERY START of her origin story, leaving plenty of time for her to discover her warrior origins when the DCEU finally gets around to introducing her mum, Lady Shiva (personally I want Michelle Yeoh to play her, but that’s just me) – anyways, here she’s a skilled child pickpocket whose latest theft inadvertently sets off the larger central plot, and newcomer Ella Jay Basco brings a fantastic pre-teen irreverence and spiky charm to the role, beautifully playing against Robbie’s mercurial energy.  My favourite here BY FAR, however, is Dinah Lance, aka the Black Canary (not only my favourite Bird of Prey but my very favourite DC superheroine PERIOD), the choice of up-and-comer Jurnee Smollet-Bell (Friday Night Lights, Underground) proving to be the film’s most inspired casting – a club singer with the metahuman ability to emit piercing supersonic screams, she’s also a ferocious martial artist (in the comics she’s one of the very best fighters IN THE WORLD), as well as a wonderfully pure soul you just can’t help loving, and it made me SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY that they got my Canary EXACTLY RIGHT.  Altogether they’re a fantastic bunch of badass ladies, basically my perfect superhero team, and the way they’re all brought together (along with Harley, of course) is beautifully thought out and perfectly executed … they’ve also got one hell of a threat to overcome, namely Gotham crime boss Roman Sionis, the Black Mask, one of the Joker’s chief rivals – Ewan McGregor brings his A-game in a frustratingly rare villainous turn (my number one bad guy for the movie year), a monstrously narcissistic, woman-hating control freak with a penchant for peeling off the faces of those who displease him, sharing some exquisitely creepy chemistry with Chris Messina (The Mindy Project) as Sionis’ nihilistic lieutenant Victor Zsasz.  This is about as good as superhero cinema gets, a perfect example of the sheer brilliance you get when you switch up the formula to create something new, an ultra-violent, unapologetically R-rated middle finger to the classic tropes, a fantastic black comedy thrill ride that’s got to be the most full-on feminist blockbuster ever made – it’s helmed by a woman (Dead Pigs director Cathy Yan), written by a woman (Bumblebee’s Christina Hodson), produced by more women and ABOUT a bunch of badass women magnificently triumphing over toxic masculinity in all its forms.  It’s also simply BRILLIANT – the cast are all clearly having a blast, the action sequences are first rate (the spectacular GCPD evidence room fight in which Harley gets to REALLY cut loose is the undisputable highlight), it has a gleefully anarchic sense of humour and is simply BURSTING with phenomenal homages, references and in-jokes for the fans (Bruce the hyena! Stuffed beaver! Roller derby!).  It’s also got a killer soundtrack, populated almost exclusively by numbers from female artists.  Altogether, then, this is the VERY BEST the DCEU has to offer to date, and VERY NEARLY my absolute FAVOURITE film of 2020.  Give it all the love you can, it sure as hell deserves it.

1.  TENET – granted, the streaming platforms (particularly Netflix and Amazon) certainly saved our cinematic summer, but I’m still IMMEASURABLY glad that my ultimate top-spot winner FOR THE WHOLE YEAR was one I got to experience on THE BIG SCREEN. You gotta hand it to Christopher Nolan, he sure hung in there, stubbornly determined that his latest cinematic masterpiece WOULD be released in cinemas in the summer (albeit ultimately landing JUST inside the line in the final week of August and ultimately taking the bite at the box office because of the still shaky atmosphere), and it was worth all the fuss because, for me, this was THE PERFECT MOVIE for me to get return to cinemas with.  I mean, okay, in the end it WASN’T the FIRST new movie I saw after the first reopening, that honour went to Unhinged, but THIS was my first real Saturday night-out big screen EXPERIENCE since March.  Needless to say, Nolan didn’t disappoint this time any more than he has on any of his consistently spectacular previous releases, delivering another twisted, mind-boggling headfuck of a full-blooded experiential sensory overload that comes perilously close to toppling his long-standing auteur-peak, Inception (itself second only by fractions to The Dark Knight as far as I’m concerned). To say much at all about the plot would give away major spoilers – personally I’d recommend just going in as cold as possible, indeed you really should just stop reading this right now and just GO SEE IT.  Still with us?  Okay … the VERY abridged version is that it’s about a secret war being waged between the present and the future by people capable of “inverting” time in substances, objects, people, whatever, into which the Protagonist (BlacKkKlansman’s John David Washington), an unnamed CIA agent, has been dispatched in order to prevent a potential coming apocalypse. Washington is once again on top form, crafting a robust and compelling morally complex heroic lead who’s just as comfortable negotiating the minefields of black market intrigue as he is breaking into places or dispatching heavies, Kenneth Branagh delivers one of his most interesting and memorable performances in years as brutal Russian oligarch Andrei Sator, a genuinely nasty piece of work who was ALMOST the year’s very best screen villain, Elizabeth Debicki (The Night Manager, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Widows) brings strength, poise and wounded integrity to the role of Sator’s estranged wife, Kat, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson gets to use his own accent for once as tough-as-nails British Intelligence officer Ives, while there are brief but consistently notable supporting turns and cameos from Martin Donovan, Yesterday’s Himesh Patel, Dirk Gently’s Fiona Dourif and, of course, Nolan’s good luck charm, Michael Caine.  The cast’s biggest surprise, however, is Robert Pattinson, truly a revelation in what has to be, HANDS DOWN, his best role to date, Neil, the Protagonist’s mysterious handler – he’s by turns cheeky, slick, duplicitous and thoroughly badass, delivering an enjoyably multi-layered, chameleonic performance which proves what I’ve long maintained, that the former Twilight star is actually a fucking amazing actor, and on the basis of this, even if that amazing new teaser trailer wasn’t making the rounds, I think the debate about whether or not he’s the right choice for the new Batman is now academic.  As we’ve come to expect from Nolan, this is a TRUE tour-de-force experience, a visual triumph and an endlessly engrossing head-scratcher, Nolan’s screenplay bringing in seriously big ideas and throwing us some major narrative knots and loopholes, constantly wrong-footing the viewer while also setting up truly revelatory payoffs from seemingly low-key, unimportant beginnings – this is a film you need to be awake and attentive for or you could miss something pretty vital. The action sequences are, as ever, second to none, some of the year’s very best set-pieces coming thick and fast and executed with some of the most accomplished skill in the business, while Nolan-regular cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (Interstellar and Dunkirk, as well as the heady likes of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, SPECTRE and Ad Astra) once again shows he’s one of the best camera-wizards in the business today by delivering some absolutely mesmerising visuals.  Notably, Nolan’s other regular collaborator, composer Hans Zimmer, is absent here (although he had good reason, since he was working on his dream project at the time, the fast-approaching screen adaptation of Dune), but Ludwig Göransson (best known for his collaborations with Ryan Coogler Fruitvale Station, Creed and Black Panther, as well as career-best work on The Mandalorian) is a fine replacement, crafting an intriguingly internalised, post-modern musical landscape that thrums and pulses in time with the story and emotions of the characters rather than the action itself. Interestingly it’s on the subject of sound that some of the film’s rare detractions have been levelled, and I can see some of the points – the soundtrack mix is an all-encompassing thing, and there are times when the dialogue can be overwhelmed, but in Nolan’s defence this film is a heady, immersive experience, something you really need to concentrate on, so these potential flaws are easily forgiven.  As a work of filmmaking art, this is another flawless wonder from one of the true masters of the craft working in cinema today, but it’s art with palpable substance, a rewarding whole that proved truly unbeatable in 2020 …