#I love suffering that's the good stuff
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mild spoilers for chapter six for my series again &. again, but i really feel the need to ramble about this, and i'd love to hear anybody's opinion on this hehe.
as i write outline chapter six (and write for chapter five), i'd like to say i couldn't wait to write the reader's face reveal in bruce's perspective. and it's not just angst, for me, this plays a very pivotal turn for the series— because bruce will spiral to insanity.
to never once see a single portrait of your second youngest child, whose presence has long been erased from the manor, not a single image, nor trace of you is sickening to the heart, even if he scours through the internet day and night for a single memoir of you, nothing— but to find your portrait in alfred's living quarters and seeing you for the first time in forever? graduating a milestone no less?
god, he's in for a ride just analyzing every aspect of your physical appearance.
the color of your eyes, the shape of your nose, the quip of your mouth, the fat in your cheeks; even the length of your lashes! god, does he brand it into the deepest parts of his mind to never forget you anymore. his pearl, his treasure.
the longer he stares, the more he notices and gazes even more, obsessive as he stands lonesome in the room with every bone in his body locking up, his eyes unable to look away from the portrait that showcases his baby child.
and there, there it is that he concludes a detail so small it's unrecognizable for someone who's seen it for his entire life; yet it's all the same triggered deranged emotions deep within him.
— you don't just share him and your mother's traits, no, your smile is also reminiscent of his mother's.
martha wayne, who'd died in his arms, laying in a pool of her blood with a bullet grazed deep inside her body. his loving mother, who caressed his face whenever he'd cry from his nightmares, who'd shown him motherly love that until now he still craves.
she died with her pearl necklace that once decorated her porcelain neck spilling to the ground and stained with crimson.
you wore pearl earrings on your graduation.
the thought alone is enough for him to just snap.
this? this is the child that he's been neglecting far too long? who shares the same, loving expression of his mother's? his child? not even a single memory could be conjured with you but fantasies now do. if your happiest moments were within the picture frame that he holds with shivering fingers at present; could your smile be any wider if you'd be with him?
how come he never once noticed? why is bruce always destined to fail left and right? why, just why is he brimming with jealousy for all the people who must've seen your smile before him, and contempt for himself that he was never there to pick you up from the police station beforehand?
bruce isn't a heckler for favoritism, but a darker part of him is motivated to take you away from wherever you are, and to never let anybody else witness his beautiful, little treasure.
he's gotham's knight, first and foremost. but he's a father, too, with goals to protect his children just like a father should.
and the things he'd do for you, his child, now? anything.
if it means he has to see that smile, then he'll turn the world upside-down.
he has to protect your smile.
#🧁... yael's misc.#series: again & again#yandere dc#yandere dc comics#yandere batfam#yandere batman#yandere bruce wayne#yandere#platonic yandere#male yandere#yandere x male reader#yandere x you#yandere x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x gn reader#soft yandere#ngl my stuff has felt like it's been flopping lately#that i've been getting demotivated again#i love writing but i sometimes just can't!!! am i even doing good enough#i feel like such a failure every time i write something and it doesn't go in the direction i want it to#like i want to write but i might just end up being in another hiatus the longer i suffer through imposter syndrome#ignore this short rant i love angst GRAHH !! 🔥🔥🔥
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So remember me in a softer light
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#sighs and theres 3/3#this one also suffers from lack of meaning lack of impact now imo :(#still a good piece still a good Mood#but my meaning....................#it is like a scooped out pumpkin 2 me. nothing in it.#but that is ok bc it means megumi can still come back !#i will stop complaining i will stop tempting fate i do not want to create death omens unless it becomes inevitable#megumi i believe in u believe in the me that believes in you#anyway i dont know if ive ever talked abt it but i LOVE in fic when megumi's hair is described as 'inky' like YA THTS THE GOOD STUFF#i dont often make his hair entirely jet black in pieces but whenever i do or whenever the grey/blue i use is dark enough#i always taste the word inky in my mind n it makes me go >:D#when the black cuts against th skin tones .... Stark contrast no values.....delicious i shld do that more#OH YA OBLIGATORY FV CAPTION: OVERTONE#not a very megu song but i love the lyrics
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#911 abc#polls#.txt#i love halloween + the bees! i wish they hadn't made henren suffer in halloween but otherwise it was a solid fun filler ep. +#the bees were so good - so much better than the plane stuff. i liked the gerrard station tension too but it ended way too soon
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breaking the law and outing myself on the internet because i'm showcasing my senior dance thesis on april 28 at 6:30 and 8:30 pm Eastern Standard Time and i want You to see it
we don't have a livestream link yet but we will. in the meantime look at these cool posters and this cool blurb. ok now save the date SEE YOU SOON
#my stuff#my art#these posters went through 14 separate drafts. it was a harrowing and difficult experience#i am Fully Going through it which means 1) physical health is suffering 2) social life also but 3) the thing is going to be so fucking good#sarus is gonna be the best thing ive ever made when we finish it. i Know it#so i want you to see it because it's one of those ambitious stories where everything's bigger than life#and the world is old and young and scary and kind and people live fearlessly and with cowardice#BUT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. IF YOU JUST KEEP WALKING. this is going to be one of those stories#so many dance blurbs and descriptions are like stupid technical like oh we explored the effect of weighing down our hands and feet#on our Center of Gravity and how it altered the rotational momentum of turns and jumps#or else they're stupid esoteric like oh the wind blew..... and the children wept and all over the world the oceans rose... (global warming)#so i was determined to make this blurb (which is going in the schoolwide email blast) accessible and provocative#and inviting#in a provocative way#im very Locked in rn. im Hyperfocused as fuck. i am not eating as well asi should be but IM TRYING#AND THATS WHAT MATTERS#im inviting all of u bc this is a piece that is going to try and say something and i want everyone ive ever loved to hear it#oghey bye
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star wars outlaws
#star wars outlaws#kay vess#nix#did a brief detour into this game it isn't bad! but certainly lacks in polish for core loops. tutorialization pipelines are ass also#performance - also ass. had to play quality on ps5 for it to have any clarity at all. but the open world is gorgeous#and it certainly nails the very narrow target of horse girl star wars fantasy (ripping across tatooine on a speeder with a little Guy)#nix is everything I love him. modern star wars rarely captivates me but they do know how to do lil guys real well#my photos#star wars#also-also. would be remiss not to mention. never played a game with unregulated scope creep this noticeable before. it's baffling#I KNOW people crunched on this it's in the walls in the floorboards it's everywhere. unmitigated hodge podge of mechanics and pillars#and those pillars are often unbalanced between each other. storytelling payloads are an issue too. there's pre-rendered in-engine cutscenes#real-time in-engine cutscenes. and digic-produced full CG cutscenes. and their placement and prioritization feels insane and inscrutable#like three different teams were working on the game at the same time and never in congress or coordination#it also suffers from the open world 4th and 5th priority narrative payload issues - many secondary and sometimes even primary questgiving#and expository dialogues are in-game zoomed camera lipsync exchanges. or flavor text#on the other hand - surprisingly deft mission design itself? side quests reward either cosmetics or actual unlockable deployable skills#it has fleeting genes of a metroidvania spread across a wide open world in that sense. but only fleeting. the rep system is a smokescreen#and progression in general has a very open and unsatisfying end to it. this game needed less scope and maybe no space stuff at all#the resulting resource allocation adjustment would truly make for a captivating open world adventure. as it stands it feels like#a product of overworked people misusing mismanaged budgets and managing to sprinkle some love into it regardless#games should never be good on the merit of their perceivable seasoning of overwork and passion. that really only bakes a sadness cake
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I cannot imagine being a Damian stan right now. You've got both Zdarsky's bullshit (where he clearly doesn't give a shit about your boy) and The Boy Wonder (where Juni Ba clearly gives so many shits about your boy) coming out on the same day. The whiplash must be insane. I hope y'all get some nice warm soup for your efforts jfc
#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne#batman#batfamily#for all of the issues that come with having Steph as your fave having too much wild shit happening at once is never one of them#btw I quite like The Boy Wonder Issue 1. wow shocker an artist and writer who I have liked everything they've ever done#has once again written something that I am enjoying with art that makes me want to be part of its world.#it's almost like Juni Ba is really freaking talented or something#like I have some problems with it but it seems like many of those are part of the point. Damian is learning that his siblings are more#three-dimensional than he realized and that is part of this 'coming of age' story merged with fairytale#so I can't be mad at the oversimplistic defining of Dick and Jason and Tim until the conclusion of the series. that might be the point.#I hope that the series will address Steph as a Robin but if not then frankly it's not an issue unique to this series.#I'll be annoyed and disappointed but ultimately roll with it like I am with Babsgirl being here. There's too much good stuff here to get#hung up on shit that seems to be almost an editorial mandate at this point. at least that's where I'm at.#I am also very sorry that Chip Zdarsky is massacring your boy. he has 'X (Tim for him) is the best Robin so everyone else must suck' diseas#where a writer really likes one specific Robin and in trying to uplift them demeans all of the other Robins. instead of like...just writing#for that one character only or alternatively not demeaning the other characters in order to make his blorbo look good#it's wild because I actually think his writing for Tim is pretty solid. but he's not writing a Tim series. he's writing a Batman series.#and if you are going to write a Batman series and include other Batfamily members you need to actually write them well.#instead of assigning them like 2 personality traits while Tim gets to be a whole character#I accept that behavior in fanfic where I have lesser standards because it's fucking free. not a comic run that wants me to pay#tens of dollars in order to understand what the fuck is going on. he's been going for a while now it's gotta be a lot of money.#I can buy Steelworks with that money. I can see John Henry and Natasha Irons in a trade. Fuck you Chip.#it's why it takes such a special person to write a good ensemble story/a good Batfamily story. you have to be good at writing a LOT#of different characters. which I don't think most people are. I sure as hell am not. I can write maybe 3 at a time confidently well.#and you also have to give all of them at least SOME love or else people will be upset that you aren't focusing on their fave#and also the writing as a whole will suffer. Chip Zdarsky is a pretty good Tim writer. I'd maybe read a Tim solo written by him.#I would not read a story focusing on multiple characters that I like written by Chip Zdarsky. because every character who isn't Tim#is at least a bit weak/inconsistent/out of character INCLUDING FUCKING BATMAN. THE NO. 1 GUY MOST ARE HERE FOR
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AO3
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Warning, this is a pretty dark one towards the end. A lil spooky if you will
Chapter 5- Something’s in Faron Woods
Zelda was exhausted. With the new problem of disappearances, her workload doubled. She was getting several letters from people claiming that they knew who was causing these disappearances, or people who claimed that they got caught and escaped. She was then dealing with the economy of Hyrule, then their relationship with Labrynna, then schoolwork for her daughter, and then trying to provide for the army. She’d barely gotten any sleep, but she supposed it would be fine. She’s had sleepless nights before, this would be no different.
She was eternally grateful for the resistance’s help, since she couldn’t do much on her own with the disappearances. She sent Ashei and Shad to help Hoz on his investigation, she requested Auru to ask around since he couldn’t do much in his old age, and she sent Rusl and Link to investigate Kakariko, knowing that Link’s wolf abilities would be useful. And she requested this all under her alter ego: Sheik.
She remembers when she first disguised herself as Sheik and went to help the resistance. They were dealing with straggling Bulblins who rebelled against their king. Sheik showed up to assist, and the resistance were rightfully distrusting towards her. It was difficult since Sheik wasn’t exactly a bubbly and kind person, but after a few years with her giving them correct information on situations, they started to trust her more, and she was grateful for that. It was nice doing more for Hyrule that she wouldn’t be able to do as queen, but it had made her twice as busy, and she almost had no time to do anything. Even spending time with her own daughter was severely limited, and even though she wished she could do more with her, she just didn’t have time. And she wasn’t willing to give some of her workload to Edmund.
They’d known each other since they were kids. her father was attempting to have an alliance with Labrynna and they saw each other often. They had a good enough relationship then, Edmund was very polite and kind, and even when they reunited he still was, but she couldn’t bring herself to trust him. He was never outwardly terrible, but she knew that if she gave him even an ounce of power, he would take it all and control Hyrule. She’d seen it with her father, she’d seen it with Zant, and she’d seen it with Ganondorf. All kings taking power from queens, why would Edmund be any different?
Despite her refusal to let him help her, she was exhausted, and sometimes she wished she could get help, but until she found more people she could trust, she would have to make do. Of course, it wasn’t easy to hide how she was feeling from everyone, and when she nearly fell asleep during a boring meeting, they all grew concerned for her well-being.
“My queen?” The representative for the Zora spoke up when she nearly fell over on the table, and she rubbed her face, sitting up straight.
“I’m alright,” she said quickly, and she glanced over at Edmund who stared at her with his brows pinched together.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m fine, just a little tired is all, we all get like that,” she waved their concerns away and looked down at the papers in front of her. She honestly didn’t remember what was being discussed, but she quickly skimmed over the details and caught up as much as she could. As soon as the meeting was over, she got up and left, with Edmund trailing behind her.
“Zelda?” He called out for her, and she groaned, turning around to look at him.
“Yes?”
Edmund let out a huff and put his hands on his hips. “What have you been doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. You look awful. You’re rarely eating, I hardly ever see you, and you’re never in bed when you’re supposed to be.”
“Maybe I don’t want to sleep with you,” she said coldly, but instantly regretted it. That was an inappropriate thing to say, and a hurt expression flickered across Edmund’s face. He looked away and ran a hand through his hair, frustration apparent in his face.
“Goddesses, Zelda. I— I didn’t want this arranged marriage either, but I’m trying to make it work for our kingdom’s sakes! It’s been ten years, why can’t you do the same?”
Zelda faced him fully and looked down, biting her lip. “I… I apologize for that comment, Edmund. It was rude of me.”
Edmund’s glare softened slightly. “So, what’s going on? Is it the disappearances?”
Zelda pursed her lips. “It’s fine Edmund–”
“No, it’s not fine. You’re clearly overworking yourself.”
Zelda turned away and let out a frustrated sigh, spotting the nobles and representatives getting closer to them. She grabbed Edmund’s arm and led him away to somewhere more private.
“It’s fine Edmund,” she reassured when they were tucked away in a corner, “these disappearances have been a lot of work to deal with, but it will pass. Besides, I have help from friends and Hoz to get to the bottom of this.”
Edmund stared at her for a moment, his brow pinched together. “Ok, so you have help,” he finally said after a moment of contemplation, “why don’t you let me handle the next meeting so you can��� I don’t know… get some rest.”
Zelda’s heart spiked and she shook her head. “No, I do not need help.”
“Oh, so you’ll get help from Hoz and friends that I’ve never heard of before, but not from me, your husband?” Edmund’s voice raised a little, and Zelda sucked in a breath.
“It’s not your responsibility—“
“Yes it is! We’re supposed to have a partnership! We’re supposed to work together to keep our kingdom allies! That is why we got married! Why can’t you trust me?”
“Maybe it’s because you have no respect for my kingdom! Maybe it’s because you berate and criticize my people and my army! Why would I let someone who hates my kingdom try to rule it?” Zelda snapped. Edmund stared at her, surprised at her angry tone. She always spoke in a controlled tone, never letting her anger get the best of her since it was improper. Zelda took a deep breath and quickly composed herself, not wanting to escalate the conversation anymore. “Edmund, can we discuss this later? I have a meeting to attend to.”
“That’s what you say everytime I try to talk to you about it,” Edmund scoffed.
“Well I don’t have time.”
Edmund was about to say something, but he glanced up behind Zelda and his glare softened.
“Amber!” He greeted, and Zelda turned around to see her daughter walking towards them.
“Hello, mother and father,” she said when she walked up to them, her hands clasped in front of her. “I finished my studies and I wanted to catch you when the meeting ended!”
Edmund gave Zelda a look and he relaxed his posture. “Well, you caught us in time, my dear.”
Amber grinned at Edmund and gave a small curtsy to Zelda. Zelda nodded her head and forced a smile. The two stared at each other awkwardly, and Zelda looked down.
“I’m glad to see you, Amber,” she finally said, and forced another smile. “I take it your studies are going well?”
“Yes, mother.”
“Right…”
Zelda looked away and Edmund sighed.
“Why don’t you tell your mother what you’ve been studying, Amber?” He encouraged, and Amber’s eyes lit up. Zelda cringed internally, wanting so badly to stay and listen to her daughter, but she simply had no time…
“Well, I’ve been studying the founding of Hyrule, and I find it quite fascinating! I read that Hylians descended from the sky and made land here, creating alliances with the many species already living here. I just can’t imagine living in the sky! I heard that they flew on birds! Big birds that they would ride on and–”
“Amber,” Zelda cut in, forcing another smile, “I think it’s wonderful that you’re interested in history. I have a meeting I must attend, but you continue on with your studies.”
Amber’s expression fell which made Zelda’s heart twist in pain, and she looked down. “Of course, mother, sorry to keep you.”
Zelda couldn’t force another smile, and she simply walked away, trying to ignore the guilt creeping up on her. Goddesses she wanted to stay, she wanted to stay and to talk with her daughter. She wanted to ignore the meetings and to actually rest her eyes. But she couldn’t, there was too much to do, and she didn’t have the time.
Zelda couldn’t help but glance at the two when she turned the corner. Amber was still facing away, but Edmund was staring at her, and where she expected anger, there was nothing but sadness in his eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Link watched the field around him carefully, sticking closer to Rusl this time around. Kori was no longer riding with him, and was inside the cart playing with his new toy, meanwhile Colin sat behind him on Epona. Talo was riding his own horse on the other side of the cart, grateful to no longer be alone on the trip back home. Link was also glad that they were with Talo as well, learning more about the strange disappearances have gotten him nervous. Rusl tried to make sense of it all, explaining how the scent probably got messed up, but Link supposed he couldn’t truly understand how bizarre the whole thing was. The scent wasn’t replaced, nor was it lost, it just vanished. The fact that he didn’t know why this was happening, or where to continue looking, chilled him to the bone, and he was anxious to get back to Ordon and out of the open field. Colin picked up on his nervous energy, and he rested his hand on his shoulder.
“Are you alright, Link?” His younger brother asked, and Link shrugged.
“I dunno, I just don’t like the open field,” he answered simply.
“I heard you and pa were investigating some disappearances, anything going on with that?”
Link sighed. “I don’t know, I tried to follow the missing people’s scent and I found nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“Absolutely nothing. The scent just ends. Pa thinks that the scent was replaced or lost but… I honestly don’t think that’s the case,” he ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a breath.
“What do you think the case is?”
“I’m not sure, the only explanation is that the people got taken to… a different world or something,” Link felt the heat creep up to his cheeks as he said it outloud. The idea of different worlds wasn’t far-fetched to him, the temple of time literally took him through time to when the temple stood tall and proud, and the twilight realm was a world he could never forget. But to get to these places were nearly impossible, especially the twilight realm, so the idea that these people somehow getting taken to anywhere like that was ridiculous to him. Colin only hummed.
“You sure they’re not dead?”
“I’m sure Colin, I would’ve smelled it. Once we get home I’m gonna try to look further into it.” By the goddesses he was not going to let something like this continue. He was the hero for Din’s sake, he still had a responsibility to Hyrule. Link glanced over at the carriage to see Kori and Rela poking their heads out from the carriage, smiling at the nature in front of them. A protective feeling surrounded him as he watched them. He was going to make sure that his family, especially Kori, were never going to experience a dangerous Hyrule ever again.
They reached Ordon when the sun began to set, and everyone let out a sigh of relief as they got off their steeds or out of the cart.
“By the goddesses, it’s nice not being attacked every five seconds in the field,” Talo commented, stretching his arms after he got off his horse. Beth and Colin cheered in response as Link led Epona to his home, patting her neck and giving her a treat. Kori ran up to him and patted Epona’s snout.
“Thanks for getting us here, girl!” He said, and Epona lowered her head to nuzzle his chest, which Kori giggled at. Link smiled at the two and left them alone together as he went to help Rusl with unloading the cart. The kids stayed back talking and playing with the horses while Link and Rusl went to their home. When they opened the door, Uli set down her sewing project from the couch and met them at the door in seconds.
“You’re home!” She cheered, and gave Rusl and Link a hug. Rusl chuckled and pecked her on the lips.
“Hello, darlin’,” he said when he pulled away, and the two smiled at each other for a moment.
“How was it? How’s Renado?” She asked as they pulled away to put their stuff down.
“It was fine,” Link answered, plopping down on the couch. “Renado seems pretty overwhelmed, but otherwise it was ok.”
“What did Kori get?”
“A stuffed cat he named Jasper,” Link answered, stretching his arms above his head. Uli tilted her head and crossed her arms.
“A stuffed cat? If I had known that he wanted a stuffed cat, I would’ve made him one!”
“Yeah, kids are weird like that,” Link said with a chuckle, rubbing his eyes. “The moment they see somethin’ they want at the store, they ask for it even though you can make it at home.”
“It’s more special from a shop!” Rusl chimed in, leaning near the fireplace. Uli raised an eyebrow and smirked.
“Are you saying that if I made it, it wouldn’t be special?”
Rusl’s eyes went big and he turned away. “Of course not… that’s… you know what I meant!”
Uli gave a quick laugh. “I know what you meant darlin’, I’m just messing with you.” Rusl glared at her and she simply giggled teasingly at him. She turned to Link and her teasing manner dropped slightly. “Well, I heard you two were investigating some…. Disappearances,” she started, “were you able to find anything?”
Link looked at Rusl and shrugged. “Not really.”
“We didn’t find anything useful at least,” Rusl added quietly. Uli frowned.
“Are you going to continue investigating?”
“Well, I kinda have to. Kori wants everyone to return home safely for his birthday,” Link said with a small smile on his lips. Uli grinned and ruffled his hair.
“He’s a sweet boy. He reminds me of a certain someone.”
Link looked down bashfully and rolled his eyes as Uli began to dote on him. Kori was a sweet boy. So gentle and kind, despite being a little mischievous at times. He couldn’t take all the credit for it of course, or really any of it. Midna raised him by herself for his first two years of life, and even though she's not with them all the time, she’s impacted his life in more ways than one. Goddesses he missed her. He wanted to tell her everything about Kakariko, he wanted her advice, her comments, her support. He just wanted her here…
Uli clasped her hands together and sighed after a moment of silence. “Well, where are the kids?”
“Dealin’ with the horses. I think they’re a little stir crazy.”
Uli smiled and gestured at the fireplace. “I have some soup cooking if you wanna drag our little ones over here?”
The smell of the soup cooking above the fireplace hit his nostrils, and he wiped some drool that suddenly appeared on his chin. Uli let out a hearty laugh and ruffled his hair.
“I’ll go get them ma,” Link chuckled, slightly embarrassed, and jogged out the door to find Colin, Rela, and Kori.
The three were excited for the hot dinner when Link told them, and they quickly put their things away as the sun set behind the horizon. Kori wasted no time showing Jasper the cat to Uli, explaining the complex backstory he gave to the plush, and how it connected to Billy the goat’s backstory. Uli listened intently, and Link let out a laugh. He always talked her ear off, but she always listened. Link wondered if he was the same way when he was younger.
“So, I take it Midna didn’t go with you?” Uli asked when Kori finished his story. Link shook his head.
“No, she had other stuff she needed to do back home.”
“What does she do anyways?” Colin asked, his spoon full of soup inches away from his mouth. Link shrugged.
“Stuff.”
“You always say that,” he said, sipping the soup from the spoon. Link shrugged again.
“Y’all weren’t supposed to know about her existence anyways. If she wants to tell you what she does, then she will. It’s not my business to tell you.”
“Fair ‘nough.”
“Well,” Uli started, standing up, “I already ate, but I can dish up some food for the rest of you.”
“Nah, I got two strong arms, I can do it myself,” Rusl said with a smile, grabbing a bowl and hunching over the pot.
“Nonsense! You’ve been traveling all day,” Uli began to argue, and the couple began to fight over the soup. Colin and Link exchanged a look and smirked as Kori and Rela jogged over to the fireplace, trying to break up the battle for service between the two lovers. When Uli finally admitted defeat, Link got up to the pot to serve himself and Kori, smiling at his ma who returned to her sewing project. But as he began to walk across the room, he stopped, his ears twitching. There was a sound, it was distant, and out in the woods, but as it got closer, the sound became more apparent.
Screaming.
Soon it got loud enough for Uli to hear it too, and they both looked at each other in fear. Kori stared at the two, hearing it as well.
“What is that?” He asked, and the whole family grew quiet, hearing the sudden screaming. Rusl got up, grabbing his sword and gestured for Link to follow him.
“Stay here,” Rusl said to Colin and Uli, who were about to follow him. Uli walked towards the kids while Colin reluctantly stayed by the doorway, and the two swordsmen marched out of the house. As they got closer, Link was able to spot three figures huddled together. He recognized mayor Bo’s large frame next to Jaggle, who was consoling a hysterical Coro. Bo looked up as the two men got closer, and he let out a sigh of relief.
“Thank the spirits,” he said, stepping away. “I was just about to come and get you two.”
“What’s happenin’ here?” Rusl asked, staring at Coro who looked to be a mess. “Why were you screaming?”
Coro raised his head and stared at the two. “S-something’s out in the woods!” His voice shook as he said it, and he was shaking in fear.
Link frowned, feeling dread and fear creep up on him. “What was it?”
“I– I don’t know! I don’t know!”
Rusl rested a hand on Coro’s shoulder and kneeled down. “Take some deep breaths for me, ok? Think about what you saw and try to explain it to us.”
Coro swallowed and took a deep breath. “Ok, you are all gonna think that I’m insane, but I promise I’m not! I know these woods, I’ve seen all sorts of plants and animals! But I was putting my things away f-for the night, and I heard somethin’ behind me and… I saw a black creature staring at me!” Coro wailed and buried his face in his hands, and Rusl gave Link a look. “It tried to kill me! I swear!”
“Did you have a light to see this… black creature?” Jaggle asked skeptically, and Coro gave him a glare.
“I didn’t hallucinate it if that’s what you’re implying! Trill saw it too!”
As if on cue, Coro’s bird, Trill poked out from his hair, staring at the men. Link expected him to begin chatting, but he was uncharacteristically silent as the men observed the bird.
“Can you… Uh… describe the creature again?” Jaggle asked, and Coro let out a frustrated huff.
“I know it sounds ridiculous, but it was a big, black creature with long arms! It almost swiped at me but I didn’t wait around! I thought something was off about the forest, Trill came to me a few days before talking about a bear, so I-I thought that he just got spooked! There hasn’t been a bear in these parts in ages so I assumed he saw a wolf! There’s been wolves around here right? But this wasn’t a bear, I don’t know what it was but it was no bear!”
Rusl, Jaggle, and Link all glanced at each other as Coro continued to ramble, and Rusl scratched the back of his head. “Sounds like you had a scare, Coro. But let’s think about this, it could’ve been a tree or something. They look scary at night, right?”
“Trees don’t try to swipe at you!” Coro yelled.
Jaggle glanced at Rusl and sighed. “You can stay with us if it makes you feel safe, we’ll be sure that the gate is locked extra tight, but–”
“No! You need to find that thing, now!” Coro grabbed Rusl and shook him slightly. “A gate won’t stop it if it found us! It’s too big! Don’t you remember what happened ten years ago? When a green monster burst through the gates and stole all the kids?”
Rusl’s expression grew dark, and Jaggle pulled Coro away.
“Now you need to calm down!” He yelled. “It’s gettin’ late, and it’s too dangerous to go out at night, we’ll hunt down whatever it was you saw tomorrow—“
“Jaggle,” Mayor Bo interrupted him, staring at the entrance, “perhaps we should find whatever Coro saw.”
“What? Bo are you crazy?”
“I don’t want anything attacking us at night when we’re most vulnerable,” Bo explained, his hands raised defensively. “We at least need to be prepared for something!”
Jaggle opened his mouth to say something but Rusl stepped up. “He’s right, it’s not dark yet, me and Link will check it out, the rest of you will make sure nothing happens to Ordon.” Link looked at his father in shock, but he avoided his gaze. “We’ll find whatever scared you, I don’t want anything to attack us at night either.”
Coro looked relieved and nodded. “Thanks, sorry to bother you folks–”
“It’s fine,” Rusl waved his apology away, “me and Link will investigate, Colin, Talon, and Beth will look after the village in the meantime, if it ain’t a bother.”
Jaggle let out a loud sigh and shrugged. “Don’t think Talo would be bothered at all.”
“Good. There’s still some sun left, once it gets too dark, me and Link will return, ok?”
Jaggle seemed more comfortable with that and nodded. Rusl nodded back and turned to head back to the house, with Link reluctantly following.
“Are you sure this is a good idea, pa?” Link asked softly as Bo led Coro to his home. “We don’t have a lot of time before it gets too dark.”
“We’ll be fine, Link. I take it it’s nothin’ serious,” Rusl said, but he didn’t seem too confident in his own words. “Besides, if something is out there, I don’t want– I don’t want another attack on Ordon.” Rusl’s voice grew quiet, but he didn’t turn to look at Link.
Link pursed his lips, but said nothing. When the two reached the house, Rusl quickly explained the situation to Uli and Colin. Uli protested against it while Colin grabbed a sword, determined to protect the village. With enough reassurance that they were going to be ok, the two bid their farewells, collected their swords and torches, and headed into the woods.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The forest was quiet save for the rustling of the leaves as they blew through the wind. The moon was full, which thankfully gave him and Rusl more light to work with. The sky was a deep purple, making the forest much darker than what Link would like. Sure there was some sunlight, but it wasn’t enough to investigate. It was uncomfortably silent between Link and Rusl, both listening intently to whatever could be out here. Link’s eyes were darting back and forth, his heart beating against his chest as they got closer to Coro’s house. He’s never liked the dark, but after the twilight invasion, he’s grown to hate it. Anything could be hiding in the shadows, watching him and his father as they walked by. It made his hair stand on its ends. Rusl seemed to be more relaxed than him though, a determined look on his face as he observed the trees illuminated by his torch and moon. When they reached Coro’s house, Link lowered his breathing to hear whatever it was Coro saw. His sword was raised in front of him while Rusl looked around the house. The silence was deafening, and the night air sent a chill up Link’s spine. He studied the ground around the house for a moment before looking at Rusl, who put a hand on his hip and sighed.
“Do you see anything?” He asked, and Link shook his head.
“I haven’t seen anything unusual, but something isn’t right.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I—I don’t know, something in the air isn’t right.” Link pursed his lips as he watched the trees around them. There was a good chance that he was just spooked, but the feeling of dread wouldn’t leave him. Rusl clicked his tongue as his head turned behind him.
“What do you think Coro saw?”
Link shrugged. If it was anyone else he wouldn’t be so worried, but it was Coro that got scared. He wasn’t scared of anything. Even when he saw Link as a wolf he seemed calm, even when monsters were right outside his home he didn’t care much. The only time Link has seen Coro frightened was during the twilight invasion, when shadow insects were crawling all over his home. A sinking feeling rested within his stomach as he thought about the missing people, but he shook his head. There was no way that there was another twilight invasion. The only Twili that were left in the world was Midna, and how she was able to be in this world was a mystery to him. No, it had to be an animal or a tree or something. Coro wasn’t afraid of anything, but everyone gets spooked every now and then.
“He probably saw a bear,” Rusl said softly, his brows pinched together.
“If it was a bear, then we should head back and hunt it tomorrow. It’s too dangerous to be out here at night.” Bears were rare in Ordon, but they showed up occasionally, and Link had heard too many horror stories from Rusl about them that he knew that they were a serious threat. But regardless, the idea of Coro seeing a bear scared Link less than any alternative. Rusl pursed his lips and stared at the ground.
“I’m not seeing any footprints though,” he muttered, kneeling on the ground and tracing his hand across the ground.
Link looked over his shoulder, the sudden feeling of dread overwhelming him as he stared at the darkness. Something was out in Faron woods, something dark and evil.
“Pa, we should go,” he said, trying to keep his voice from quivering. “We can lock the gates and look for it tomorrow, but we’re at a disadvantage here.”
“I know, Link. But it’s not too dark yet.”
“It’s dark enough for this to be dangerous!”
Rusl stared at the ground blankly for a moment, before looking up at Link. “You think he saw something out in these woods?” Rusl asked, and Link tilted his head.
“You don’t believe him?”
“I-I’m not sure. I’m not seein’ any footprints or anything around here. Nothing was by his house, I think he saw the shadow of a tree or something, but… I don’t want to take any chances.”
Link frowned as Rusl went back to staring at the ground. He didn’t want to risk a potentially dangerous monster attacking Ordon either, but Link knew that they wouldn’t last against a black creature at night. He looked behind him at the entrance to Ordon, shifting his feet nervously as he felt eyes on him from all sides. Rusl picked up on his nervous energy, and he stood up, eyeing the house.
“I’m just gonna look around some more, then we’ll head back, ok?”
Link nodded and watched as his father marched to Coro’s home. He lingered near the trees, watching them intently as if something would grab him. It was silent for too long, and he occasionally glanced over his shoulder to check on his pa, who was barely visible from the torch he was carrying. It was getting too dark, his patience was wearing thin, and his anxiety gnawed at his insides. He couldn’t wait out here any longer, they needed to head back now.
A snap of a twig caused Link to jump ten feet in the air, and he had his sword drawn out defensively in front of him as he glared at the darkness in front of him. His heart beat furiously against his chest as he strained his eyes to see what was lurking in the dark.
Was it a monster? A bulblin? A lost traveler? Several possibilities ran through his head as he searched the woods in front of him, fear nearly paralyzing him so much he couldn’t even speak. Another sound was heard, along with rustling, and something dark emerged into the light Link’s lantern emitted. Link jumped, yelling out as soon as he saw it, and when it was fully in the light, Link saw that the creature that spooked him so badly was a fuzzy rabbit, staring at him as its nose twitched. Link stared in shock, his breathing quick and his heart beating a mile a minute.
“Link?” Rusl called out worriedly, and Link heard his pa jogging towards him.
“I—it’s— a r—“ Link let out a sigh of relief as the rabbit hopped away, and he started giggling. Loud.
“Uh, Link?” Rusl sounded much more concerned as Link doubled over laughing.
“I—it’s a rabbit— a rabbit,” Link wheezed out between giggles, and Rusl raised an eyebrow.
“Ok…?” Rusl gave him one more look before returning to the house, his head shaking in confusion. Link let out a breath and stared at the ground lit up by his lantern, feeling slightly more relaxed. He picked up his lantern and stood up, but as he got on his feet, the light moved further into the darkness, and that was when he saw it.
A black hand, clearly human shaped, standing out in the lit up grass. It quickly disappeared into the darkness, but Link was able to see it. He felt his blood run cold as he shot up, his sword shaking in his trembling hands, the relief gone in an instant. Did he imagine that?
The feeling of dread began to overwhelm him, and he spun around to his father.
“Pa—“ he was interrupted by a familiar shriek. A shriek that paralyzed him to the bone. His body trembled as his heart beat so hard against his chest it felt as though it would burst. His senses were clouded, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t hear, he couldn’t feel. All he knew was fear. Until the strong paralysis went away.
Link gasped as he was able to move again. His head felt light, his heart continued to race, but he felt conscious again. He looked around, shocked that he himself was left untouched. His lantern was left on the ground, standing upright, still emitting light enough for Link to see. The sky was black now, the moon emitting barely enough light for Link to see beyond the lantern. He shakily picked it up and looked around him, his heart sinking into his stomach as realization hit him.
Rusl.
The other light that came from Rusl’s torch was put out, and Link’s father was nowhere to be seen.
“P-pa?” Link called out weakly, tears pricking at his eyes when he was met with silence. He ran to Coro’s house and searched the ground, but there was no sign of Rusl, all except his torch which was laying on the ground. Link wasted no time turning into a wolf and sniffing the torch, but he was only met with the eye watering scent of smoke and fire. Goddesses, how could he find him?
Link noticed some scuff marks on the ground, and he saw the footprints. They weren’t human, there were no toes and they were much too small, but he knew that whatever they belonged to, it was what took Rusl. Link took off running, using his wolf senses to see in the dark. The footprints went into the dark caves, and Link plowed through, luckily remembering where to go from traveling through them hundreds of times. He ignored the rats and keese that tried to hurt him, and he emerged from the other side. At the end of the cave, Link spotted something glimmering in the moonlight. Rusl’s sword. Thank the spirits.
With no smoke to cloud his senses, Link was able to pick up on Rusl’s sent. It led deeper into Faron woods, through the thick trees that used to hold poisonous gas. Link sprinted through, the feeling of deja vu of hunting down the missing tailor and Goron making him more and more anxious.
Please don’t be too late.
Link was so focused on running that he barely noticed that he actually passed the scent, and he skidded to a stop, spinning to where the scent stopped. The scent didn’t seem to end abruptly the same way the tailor and goron’s did thankfully, but the feeling of dread kept any feeling of relief shining through. The creature was here, and it was watching him.
Link growled at the darkness in front of him, and he heard something shuffling. A dark mass silhouetted by the moon revealed itself, growing more and more until it stood up straight, and Link felt his heart drop.
It was a shadow beast, but it was different. Its skin was black as the night, blending into the dark trees around it, all except the red Twili mark on its chest. Black tendrils jutted out of its body, mostly from its head. Two arms were laid awkwardly on its back, instead of a mask there was a mouth that snarled at him with yellow teeth, and it was huge. Bigger than any shadow beast Link had seen. How…?
The creature snarled and rested on its two front arms, the arms on its back hanging menacingly. Link’s growl got more low, his fear replaced by fury. This thing did something to Rusl, and he was going to make it pay.
A hand suddenly swiped at his side, and Link was barely able to move before it hit him. He barked and jumped at the beast, biting into its shoulder as hard as he could. The beast shrieked and threw Link off of it, slamming him into a tree. Link sucked in a breath, scrambling to his feet as his back ached from the impact. He shook his head and snarled at the beast. It snarled back. He moved back and forth, trying to figure out where to begin on fighting this thing. If it was similar to a shadow beast, then fighting it shouldn’t be too difficult.
Link charged at it again, sinking his teeth into the shoulder of the beast. It let out a cry, but Link continued biting, ripping it apart with his claws and fangs. Eventually he was thrown off again, but before the beast had time to recover, Link jumped at it again, this time aiming for the stomach. Link went much deeper into the soft flesh of the torso, and he was able to rip a good chunk of it out. The creature shrieked in pain as it slammed its fist down onto Link, but he dodged just in time. The beast hunched over, holding its stomach in pain as black goo fell out. Though this creature was much bigger and stronger than a shadow beast, it was simply too easy to fight.
Link went to charge again but the beast made a strange noise that stopped him in his tracks. It stayed on all fours, hunched over, gagging. Link could only watch as it gagged, his confusion holding him in place. He only came back to reality when the beast began to vomit, and soon he saw a hand flailing around from its mouth. Rusl!
Link quickly turned back into a Hylian, reaching out for the hand. He felt relief when Rusl’s hand quickly gripped to his own, meaning that Rusl was still alive and conscious, and Link pulled with all his might. The beast remained still as Rusl was slowly pulled out, and Link’s father let out a gasp as his face emerged from the mouth.
“Pa!” Link yelled out, and Rusl struggled to pull his other arm free from the throat of the beast. His face was covered in the black goo that poured out of its stomach, covering his eyes and hair. As Link pulled him out more, he noticed the teeth of the beast ripping up his clothes, but he didn’t stop pulling.
Rusl’s other arm was pulled free, and it flailed towards Link’s arm, and he weakly hung on as he was pulled out the rest of the way. But just as he was free, the beast suddenly bit down on Rusl’s leg, and Link gasped as Rusl’s grip went limp and he was pulled away from him.
“PA!” Link screamed as he was dragged away, and the beast snarled at him, leering over Rusl as if he was its prize. It scooped up his pa in one of the hands on its back and it took off running, deeper into the woods. Link cursed under his breath and turned into a wolf again, ignoring the pain that shot through as he transformed. He took off running, following the beast through a gate to where Coro’s bird’s shop was. Link pumped his canine legs, and was able to catch up to the beast and Rusl. When he was close enough, he bit down on its leg, attempting to drag it to the ground. The creature shrieked and spun around, ripping its leg from Link’s mouth. The beast snarled at him as Rusl hung limply in its hand, blood and black goo dripping down his feet and hair. Link barked at him, but he didn’t move. The beast backed away from Link as he tried to wake his pa up, its back arching like an agitated cat as it growled at him.
Link made sure he was merciless this time around. He attacked relentlessly, aiming for the arms resting on its back, trying to get it to drop Rusl, but its grip was tight around his father, so it never let him go no matter how hard Link bit into its arms. The beast smacked Link a few times as he attacked the arms, but he fought through the pain, fiercely biting and scratching the beast. Link had severely underestimated this creature, with it not giving out anytime soon. Shadow beasts normally would die after having their throats ripped out or being clawed to death, but it seemed that this thing was invincible. He didn’t know why, but it was stronger than any Twili creature he’s ever fought.
Link was smacked against a tree again, and he staggered slightly as he got on his feet. He was growing exhausted, he felt like he was doing the same thing over and over again to no avail. Though he’d just ripped part of its stomach out, it didn’t seem to be bothered by it. What was this thing?
The creature snarled at him again, having a more confident pose as it faced Link, and all he could do was growl at the thing. He didn’t care what happened to him, he just needed to make sure Rusl was safe. The beast charged at him, and Link braced himself, but it suddenly stopped, shrinking back into the shadows, making strange noises that sounded like pain. It looked up at the sky and to Link’s surprise, it dropped Rusl and sprinted away, leaving Link alone with his father. He quickly turned back into a Hylian, staggering at the sharp pain in his back, but he stood up, pulling out his sword. He ran to Rusl, standing over his father protectively in case it returned, but it did not.
Why did the thing run away? It was winning, it wouldn’t have dropped Rusl like that. The sun rising in the sky answered Link’s question, and soon the forest was lit up. Relief swept over him as he was able to see, and he knew he was safe. For now at least. It seemed that the—Twili beast— hated the light.
Link relaxed and put his sword away, exhaustion beginning to overwhelm him, but he couldn’t rest, not yet. He looked at his father who was still unconscious, and he turned him over. His entire body was covered in black goo, and some of it mixed in with blood from small cuts on his skin, possibly from the creature’s teeth. His leg looked the worst, with a bite mark circling around his calf and shin. It had stopped bleeding it seemed, but dried blood mixed with black goo made it look much worse. Rusl was breathing, though it was shallow and sounded wrong. Link hoped that his ribs weren’t bruised or broken, he wondered how tight that thing held onto him. Link took a deep breath and shook him gently, brushing his clumpy hair out of his eyes.
“P-pa?” He whispered, shaking him a little harder. Rusl seemed to be reacting to being shaken, so Link tried harder. He needed medical attention, and his mind thought of the spirit springs. He remembered fairies appeared at each one after he faced a trial from the great fairy, he wondered if they were still there. “Pa,” he repeated, a little louder. Rusl’s blue eyes began to flutter open, and he stared at Link confused.
“L-Link?” He croaked.
Link smiled a relieved smile and started to help him to his feet, but Rusl stopped him quickly, hissing in pain as he held his side.
“Somethings wrong,” he rasped, sinking into the ground. Link frowned and looked him over. His ribs must’ve been broken.
“C’mon, pa. We gotta get to the spring. You’ll feel better.”
Rusl stared at him, wheezing and holding his side painfully, but he didn’t stop Link from helping him to his feet. Rusl leaned heavily on Link’s side, and the two slowly walked to the spring. It felt like hours until they finally made it, at some point Link had to pick up his pa to carry him the rest of the way, despite his protests. He set him down in the spring water, immediately feeling comfort in the warm water. Rusl let out a sigh of relief as he rested in the water, but the relief melted into panic as he looked at himself.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Link asked, calming down his father.
“‘Don’t want to dirty the spring.”
“You’re not gonna dirty the spring, the spirit’s light keeps it clean,” at least he assumed, the water never seemed to get dirty no matter what was put in it. Rusl relaxed again and stared at himself, his brows furrowed. Link began washing the goo and blood off of himself, helping Rusl occasionally. Rusl was uncomfortably silent while the two cleaned themselves off, and Link wanted to bring up what had happened, but he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it either. After Link finished washing out his wounds, he stood up, limping towards the bushes to see if any fairies were hiding. Luckily he found two and he returned with them both, noticing Rusl staring at him with his brows furrowed.
“Some fairies,” Link said, handing them both to him.
Rusl silently opened his palm where one fluttered onto his hand, and it healed up his bleeding leg and bruised ribs. He let out a sigh of relief and stared at Link who still held the other one.
“You need another one, pa,” Link pressed, but Rusl shook his head.
“You’re hurt too.”
“Not as bad as you.”
“I don’t care, my leg is healed, you use it.”
Link was taken aback at his intense tone, but he was too tired to fight back. He held the fairy gently in his hand and it floated around him, healing up his aching back. It rested on his head when it finished healing him, and Link let out a sigh of relief. Fairies were wonderful creatures.
The two sat in silence, staring at the crystal blue water they were in, soaking in the sun as it rose higher and higher in the sky. It didn’t feel like they were gone all night, but with Link’s tired body, he supposed it made sense.
“Link,” Rusl broke the silence, continuing to stare blankly at the water. “We need to tell the resistance about this as soon as possible.” Link stared at him for a moment, and he opened his mouth to say something, but Rusl continued. “That… thing… it has to be responsible for the disappearances. We need to tell them about this.”
Link nodded. “We oughta tell them when we all meet up then—“
“I’m not waiting until the date Sheik set, we need to tell them now.”
Link stared at him for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah, ok, I agree. I’ll send a letter, then we can move out tomorrow.”
“Link—“
“We move out tomorrow, pa. We need rest though, we’ve been up all night. Besides, we gotta tell the folks around Ordon to stay away from Faron at night, ok?”
Rusl glared at him for a moment, but it softened when he had no rebuttal. “Yeah, ok. We need rest.”
Link nodded. He was no stranger to staying up all night, but as he’s gotten older, it’s been much harder to deal with. He stood up, his legs feeling weak as he walked around, and Rusl followed, being careful on his newly healed leg. Link stared at his leg for a moment, then faced him.
“Are… are you alright?”
Rusl stopped walking and looked up at him. “I’m… fine. Thanks to you. Are you ok?”
Link pursed his lips and nodded. “I’ll be fine, pa.”
Rusl’s gaze softened and he wrapped his arm around Link’s shoulder. “Let’s head back then. I bet everyone is worried sick.”
#I realize I should add a summary to all of these huh#I’m a wee bit of a fool#tis fine#legend of Zelda#legend of zelda au#zelda au#twilight princess#love at twilight#Kori#finally we’re getting to the plot heavy stuff#heheheh#Rusl’s fine I promise#just a lil traumatized#both he and Link are traumatized <3#the beginning honestly makes me sad#poor Zelda :(#I promise you will get good things bb girl#for now you must suffer#Edmund doesn’t understand why she’s so cold towards him#he will learn soon enough#Amber my beloved#ok maybe she’s not a spoiled brat#idk I like her#gosh this chapter gave me so many issues#I was like ‘why would Rusl and link go out into the woods at NIGHT?#so I had to change it just a smidge#augh#and then the dialogue#SHEESH#anyways hope you enjoy it!
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I am begging you, if your partner insults you, curses at you, screams at you, starts many conversations by accusing you of something (and if you two talk about this situation - you continue having arguments instead of just solving problems together), you feel in danger when near your partner, you feel safer when away from your partner, or your partner hits you, please please consider leaving them.
Just consider leaving the space they're in, and going to a friend's house or a family member's and staying for a day. Do you feel safer? Calmer?
You do not have to be friends with a person who disrespects or harasses you. You do not have to be friends with someone who hits you, who tells you you're stupid/ugly/annoying whatever, who screams at you when you spill food or forget to do the dishes instead of just asking "hey could you please clean this?", who doesn't accept a "no" from you such as "No I do not want to be touched right now." Please tell me you'd be kind enough to yourself to stop seeing a friend who hit you or told you you're worthless or screamed at you for not reading their mind (no one can read minds).
So if a partner does those things, you're allowed to stop seeing them too. You are allowed to love someone, to care about their wellbeing and want good things for them, and also REMOVE YOURSELF from their space and life. You're allowed to think "wow I love this guy, I am sad he's depressed, I hope he feels better" and also think "but he keeps calling me ugly and stupid, and every time I see him he insults me and screams and I get scared, I should stop visiting him and stop answering his calls and texts so I am no longer in situations where I could be insulted and screamed at." You are allowed to love someone, and ALSO protect yourself from them! You deserve to be safe! You deserve to protect yourself first, care about your own wellbeing first, care about if YOU are safe and content, even if it means upsetting someone else. Even if someone else would rather you were hurting, if it meant you kept seeing them.
You deserve to be respected. You deserve to be spoken to kindly, to feel you are safe from physical harm, to be talked to as a person with value. From strangers, friends, and lovers. If people are hurting you, if you feel worse being around them, you are ALLOWED to leave and put yourself in a place where you are no longer being hurt. You deserve to prioritize your own well being.
#rant#i just.....#i learned this lesson as a teen. putting up with abuse until i realized even if i loved an abuser#i am able to hope they have good things and also GET AWAY from them so they don't hurt me in the mean time#so many people think if they love someone they should endure all suffering if the other person hurts them#im begging you to be smarter than teenage me.#i have a friend who's lover screams at them multiple times a day. and much worse#and i... i wouldn't even continue a friendship with someone who screamed and yelled at me weekly let alone daily.#if someone cares about you... respects you... then they'll try to problem solve in a calm constructive manner#you might occassionally yell if emotions are heated and its one of your first fights together#but if you CARE about each other you'll ultimately eventually be able to say#'hey the screaming scares me and i want us to be able to work stuff out without screaming. lets talk about why you're upset and see what we#can change so we both feel better and dont fight about this again'#but like... if you dont even feel safe enough to have THAT conversation... frankly you shouldn't be together#you shouldn't have to feel your ONLY options are feel in danger and accept abuse OR never bring up your discomfort#and pain in the hopes you'll be abused less.#if you dont feel you have the safe ability to discuss problems and resolve them? maybe you NEED to break up#before you get hurt for longer and longer and it feels less possible to ever be treated fairly again
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ppl who dont understand loving a character while also hating them fascinate me, clearly youve never stanned a complete and absolute dickhead before
#mine.txt#i mean the char doesnt have to be That much of an asshole to be someone you both love and hate ofc#but once youve gone to that extreme theres basically nothing stopping you from indulging in whatever feeling a char gives you#regardless of assholery#this was ages ago so idr where i found them#but like there was this person who couldnt believe that ppl would actually stan villains and not just the heroes cause they were evil 😭#i think?? i found them on youtube???#idk its been a while#but that baffled me cause even when i was a kid thanks to my interest in noir and darker media#i had a streak of being a fan of morally grey asshole characters#who were like. Objectively assholes who i can gurantee Nobody would like irl no ifs ands or buts about it#but who were still really interesting and complex and flawed#you didnt like them cause they were nice or good or even Likeable#you liked them cause on Some degree you respected or at the very least were entertained by them#whether it be their integrity; their conviction; their goals; their audacity; their suffering; etc#there was always Something that intrigued you#you may not like them on a personal standpoint but they put on a good show and thats what matters#unfortnately it was also common for chars from these media to be laced with bigotry but its just how it goes im afraid#theres a few that dont really contain those but they tend to be either hidden gems or for younger audiences#idk i should watch and play noir stuff again i think i missed them#like that kinda stuff heavily colored my preferences in things
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Analysis with Penacony spoilers ahead, read at your own behest
I love Acheron so so much and one of the main reasons is how human she tries to be. She‘s trying so hard to stay human, to be human.
She’s killed people the blood debt is a burden she carries. She only sees the world in black, white, and red, but she gets lost easily and guides strangers home and she thanks you for trusting her even though you don’t have to and she protects a little boy from the mafia and she mourns your friend with you even though she didn’t know her because she knows you’re hurting and she helps you calm down after you watched your friend die horribly and she stays with you and looks after you and tells you to stay level headed and she apologies for being held back from protecting those you love because she isn’t human anymore and then she does one of the most human thing of all and blesses the soul and mourns her with you, guides her home like she did with you. Acheron is gentle like a psychopomp, like Death. She cries blood but it’s still crying.
Onto the allusion, the name Acheron comes from the river Acheron, one of the five rivers of the Underworld in Greek mythology. The Acheron is the River of Woe/Pain/Lost Souls. The River Cocytus (River of Wailing/Lamentation) and River Phlegethon (River of Magma) both flow into the River Acheron and the River Styx (River of Oaths/Border to the Underworld/Makes one invulnerable if they bathe in it) stems from the Acheron. The final river is the River Lethe which causes forgetfulness when bathed in or drunk from and usually used by the souls of the dead to be reborn. These allusions fit Acheron well, as she cries blood which is fitting for one named after the River of Woe. Her difficulty to hold onto memories is also reminiscent of the Lethe, especially now that we know she’s an Emanator. She was technically “reborn” as when she became one.
Building off this, she fulfills the role of a psychopomp. In folklore and mythology psychopomp are entities that guide souls of the dead, such a Thanatos in Greek mythology who is the personification of peaceful death (Who Seele has allusions to but that’s another analysis). Aventurine associates Acheron with the Finality a few times and we see her act like a psychopomp when she does things like “take us home” when we first meet her and she mentions guiding again when she sends Firefly off. She gets lost in the waking world but never seems to in the Dreamscape.
Building even more off this allusion, in Greek mythology the twin brother of Thanatos is Hypnos, the personification of sleep. Sleep and death are often tied together even outside of Greek mythology, like the Epic of Gilgamesh where Gilgamesh is literally told he can’t think about conquering death when he can’t even conquer sleep.
This all leads me to a theory about why Acheron said she had no choice in whether to draw her blade. She wanted to but she had no choice in the matter. We’ve seen her draw her blade twice so far in the story and it was to wake the Trailblazer and to fight Sam. If Acheron is an agent of the Finality maybe her blade can’t be drawn because it can only be used against those dying or dead or not living? We know Firefly was dying and we know she has a weird connection with Sam. The weird “Death” monster also seemed to target Firefly. I think Acheron couldn’t draw her sword against the “Death” because she is also an agent of Death and cannot attack one of her own, but she can use it against Firefly because Firefly is dying and it would be seen as a final severing of the soul from life or as “harvesting” the soul. Of course I could be completely and utterly wrong I’m literally just making an analysis based on allusions and motifs but still I think it’s interesting. Plus Aventurine calls Acheron and Sam enemies and Sam uses fire, an element typically seen as representing life.
Pulling a little bit away, Acheron sees the world in black, white, and red. The red is fleeting according to her and it reappears when a choice is made. If Acheron is a psychopomp this makes sense, she would mostly see the world as the living and the dead and the red could be a tie to the idea of the red string of fate, as we know destiny is a major theme of HSR’s story. When we make choices that change the direction of fate, we interact with the red strings of fate. This could be another reason she’s at odds with the Stellaron Hunters, they adhere strongly to the idea of destiny but to death destiny would have a different meaning. Her sword has an eye and is adorned with red which is where the majority of the color in her design is centered, going back to my theory around her sword it could represent how it cuts strings of fate and the eye matches the one on the “Death” nightmare.
We also know she apparently hijacked the Ever-Flame Mansion party to come here, maybe because she sensed there would be a lot of death here and came to collect the souls?
Finally, I would like to reiterate I do not play HI3 this is just something I’ve noticed, so correct me if I’m wrong:
She seems to be a Raiden Mei Expy and I know nothing of that character but I did notice when she says “Do you remember me?” there’s the answer of no and yes, and she akins us to a dear friend she had. We, the protagonist, fulfill the same role in this game Kiana (I think that’s the HI3 protag) does in HI3 and I’m vaguely aware Raiden Mei and Kiana have some sort of relationship in HI3. This asking if we remember her could be two things to me: Either she’s asking if we remember her as we have faced death before or she’s asking if we the player remember her from HI3, which she may have an awareness of if she is a personification of death and that may link her to knowledge of the Imaginary Tree as trees seem to be associated with death in HSR when you remember Yaoshi is associated with trees as well and the fruit of their tree on the Xianzhou gives immortality, where if Luocha is an Emanator he would have that tree motif too and we know he has tree motifs because he’s an Expy of Otto who did interact with what I think was the Imaginary Tree and that carried over when Luocha was given the element of Imaginary (Of course I had to talk about Luocha who do you think I am)
Anyways there’s so so much more but this post is already really really long and probably incomprehensible so if I think of any more I’ll make like a part II post anyways thanks for reading this far if you did and feel free to add discussion, mwah!
#honkai star rail#Acheron#acheron hsr#Penacony#Penacony spoilers#ACHERON I LOVE YOU#My special interest of folklore and mythology comes in clutch for analysis again#good luck to anyone who tries to read this whole thing it’s a nightmare (pun intended)#I’m sorry HI3 players who follow me/read my stuff y’all gotta suffer through my half assed understanding of the lore all the time#Finis Analyzes
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"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."
+ process(tw blood)
Also, look at him, bloody little guy 🥹
This drawing was inspired by several matador pics :D here and here:
^ I don't think I'll ever live up to the second one ah. There's several pics of that specific guy just soaked with blood, and I'm uh a bit obsessed with then ITS FUCKED UP I KNOW OKAY! But I've not drawn blood in a while so it was a bit difficult so I added less than I would want to I guess. Also I'm obsessed with how often they kneel in bullfighting?? Like okay who are you arching your back and spreading your legs for-
#ah not 100% sure abt this one but i think i still like it!!!#i was practicing matador poses during the wknd and im like yeah should prob paint one#and then it felt like all the energy left my body djfkkglg i was like ugh how do i paint again?????#mostly: just really wanted to draw him bloody#i love how every time i draw him in ferrari colors its just the most eye bleeding thing ever#my eyes get too used to it on my ipad's display and im like aw this isnt red enough :(#and then i transfer it to my phone and it feels like the red suddenly is hurting my eyes even worse djfkkglg#im glad the blood turned out well. i honestly think it was probably easier bcs the clothes are red already#but yes yes suffering ferrari nando. hes my comfort character atp 😭😭#perfect catie drawing: depressed ferrari fernando. blood. napoleon quote#anyways yeah lmk! i think it looks okay?? idk i think i just love the first 2 matador drawings i ever did#and its very hard to live up to them. but whatever. we move on#im glad i did a more complicated pose at least ?????#also god i was somewhat annoyed w his face and then i redrew his eye and it was like OH OKAY suddenly good okay#tw blood#<- i would put this drawing under the cut but like. my blog i do what i want and i want to draw blood#i used to draw bloody stuff a lot more but ah idk less opportunities now sjfkkglg so it was kinda nice#catie.art.#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#matador au
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oh great in episode 6 of 4 minutes my beloved. he's so fucked up. i love him.
#can you believe this was the best episode of the whole show so far#it was so messed up this is all i wanted from this show#like is it my birthday or something#im so obsessed#everyone was displaying unhinged behavior and i am here for it#also great is so multifaceted#like he's not a bad person perse but he does do bad things#due to his upbringing and his complacency and his fear cause he is a bit of a coward yes#but like he does feel bad about the effed up stuff he's done#he is just trying to drown it out and ignore it#i just love it when a character is allowed to do the absolutely wrong thing sometimes#and suffer the consequences of their actions#while still also not being an awful awful person deep down#great is a person that's not that good but not that evil either#and he is lonely af and deep down seeking genuine human connection and doesn't even realize it#love that#4 minutes#4 minutes the series
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Oh!!! YAYY!!!!
… NOT YAY…
#in stars and time#this game is very good at showing how siffrin feels about everything#and I love how it sprinkles stuff like this into everything#even if you did get an achievement you’re always reminded of how siffrin is. suffering rn-#but… man….#*head in hands*#siffrin it’s okay isabeau would probably find it hot-
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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actually since im remembering dragalia stuff the ending really was super fucked up towards euden. for all that he did it to literally give everyone else a disney movie ending he also got hella screwed over
that said if i did have his family i would also reset the universe and wipe everyone's memories of myself to not deal with them anymore
#imho he was WAY too forgiving with his family#when they all tried to kill him and then just. turned and were like 'oopsie doopsie euden well we're cool now i always did love you my bro'#but then everyone except midsomar grandpa forgot about him... and like i get the evergreen ending of them meeting euden again#BUT LIKE. THAT WAS HIS SISTER HE SUFFERED SO DAMN MUCH TO SAVE HER AND ALL HIS FRIENDS FORGOT ABOUT HIM#its not even like a fatalistic tragic end to the story since it ends on a 'yeah everyone meets him again!' but WOW did euden catch strays#also the agito stuff went exactly nowhere lol. theyre just good now ig
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Deacon willing to help people but doesn't recognize people so he doesn't remember what he did for who. So he just agrees and is like cool don't mention it then they mention it and he's like uhhhhhh.
However, that's other humans. He can identify the deities much easier because they have a unique glow. Like can actively tell Ymber "oh Lady Fulj just entered the city" and Ymber is like how the heck did you sense her that far away when I can't sense her that far away. It actually takes a while for Ymber to realize Deacon really doesn't know any of his coworkers and who he's talking to.
#my characters#based on me just not knowing which of my coworkers i helped with what or who asked me for what#so theyd bring something up and im like uh huh#deacon is a good bean who likes to be helpful to people around him#because hes lived a good life thanks to people around him such as#he had loving parents but after his mom died the neighbors helped him and his dad#then when his dad passed away and his neighbors would invite him over to make sure he wasnt lonely#and he appreciates those people but he doesnt recognize most of his coworkers#he can identify the neighbors based on oh the guy nearby has a hunched back and i help him with carrying stuff#so he notices those traits from people hes been near for a long time but then is baffled over coworkers#if someone changes a hair style that is a brand new person#based on holy crap my coworkers used to change their hair all the time i never knew who was who#dyed hair or getting a trim and dye or simply wearing it up one day but not the next#i have no idea who i worked with and it was v awkward for me but people were always nice#how has it been a week of pain im gonna go offline and suffer breathing pains
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