#I love seeing insights on these sort of things!

[leviathan-supersystem]

i know this is quite an open-ended question, so apologies in advance, but as a marxist-leninist what are your main issues with post-modernism/post-structuralism as a school of thought? from libs to anarchists, lots of (so-called) progressives/leftists seem to really enjoy it, but its reception is a far less positive among communists/marxists from what i gather. what are your thoughts on it, and on the work of people like foucault, deleuze, guattari, or even more recent ones like judith butler etc? once again sorry if this is too open-ended, but i really value your insight on politics and philosophy etc etc.

well, to be clear i do think there are some good critiques which have come out of the post-modernist camps, and consequently i would consider myself more of a neo-modernist than a classical modernist, as i do think mdernism as a concept needs to be updated in response to post-modernist critiques.

at it's best, post-modernism offers genuinely useful critiques of the limits of our ability to know things, genuine good points about the inherently fuzzy and indefinable boundaries of any system of categories that human beings could ever create.

at it's worst, post-modernism rejects the very notion that there's a material world that we can understand, and rejects the very notion of categories as a whole. once it crosses the boundary into this sort of solipsism is utterly useless to me.

ultimately once post-modernism crosses the boundary into this sort of solipsism- which it often does- it becomes completely incompatible with marxism, which is fundamentally based on the notion that there is a material world and we can learn things about it. no, we can never know things with 100% certainty, but we can know with better than 0% certainty

i really love deleuze and guattari's Capitalism and Schizophrenia, but ultimately i think it's more of a piece of poetry than a piece of real scientific theory. and i do believe, fundamentally, that the approach to analyzing capitalism must be a scientific one.

i'm not very fond of foucault at all, because frankly i'm a bit of a panopticon apologist. these sorts of "panopticons" are just part of living in a group with other people, and while i certainly think there are points to be made about how these sort of systems of sousveilance need to be regulated in order for them to not be excessive and harmful, but ultimately these sorts of regulations on those systems are themselves enforced by social systems of sousveilance. so for example, the idea of taking pictures of people in public and posting them online, i agree that there should be social conventions discouraging that behavior- but inevitably these social conventions are enforced through similar "panopticon" style social systems- that when someone sees someone posting a creepshot online, the observers collectively disincentivize that behavior, tell them "dude don't take pictures of random people in public and post them online to talk shit about them you dick" etc. anyways, that's why i don't think the foucaultian persective on "panopticons" is particularly useful though i agree that obviously those social systems exist.

[ectonurites]

SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR KEVIN PHILLIPS

[tswwwit]

Had a very funny thought in my head of bill successfully getting a cult started at some point between reincarnations just bc he’s bored. By coincidence dipper gets reincarnated into a kid who grows up in said cult and bein all culty n stuff. When it’s finally time for bill to pick up his human he’s low key annoyed that dippin dorks all culty. Problem is immediately fixed when dipper remembers everything and goes back to normal.

The experience becomes a very funny story at dinner parties where dipper cringes and bill thinks it was a wacky time. I imagine the cult gets broken up by dipper bc i want to give them a happy ending too.

Oh boy, poor, poor Bill. It's one thing for Dipper to pretend to be subservient - that's all fun and games, not real. But a version of Dipper where he's actually, sincerely, bowing and kneeling before Bill? That gets a full on 😬 Sure, he likes weird! This is certainly that!

But it's like. The flipped version of Dipper watching Bill cheerfully working at a soup kitchen, or tenderly nursing a baby bunny back to health or something. Not what he should be doing. Bad. Just so wrong. Man, he's gonna be glad when his feisty little guy gets his brains back

Also contains: One confused Dipper, whose 'god' is actually really... annoying?? And for some weird reason, it seems to make said 'god' happy when he finally gets fed up enough to be bitchy about it.

[loserboyfriendrjl]

war tears lovers apart.

it had started with mary and lily. they didn't even manage to get out of hogwarts. lily, a warrior, a saint, and mary, watching from the sidelines, a sinner of some sorts, who had chosen to leave, who had chosen to flee, and maybe she had been a coward. maybe that was the mary lily was going to remember forever.

mary knew that that'd be the end of them. and still, she kept watching from afar, holding on, clinging to the hope that, once the war ends, their galaxy would open again, and that she'd see her sun again. maybe they'd reconcile, if not as lovers, then as a world in which they gravitate around each other, like stars in the night sky.

war kills lovers.

the first one to fall had been benjy. he disappeared sometime in march, and until april, he hadn't been found. they had looked for him, searched everywhere, and they had found him in surrey. the only way they recognized him was that dark brown mark on his arm, the birthmark that caradoc had loved so dearly. he had been torn apart, blood and flesh and bones, and only pieces and pieces of him found.

they never found his head. two words had been inscribed in his arm, with dark red. "you're next." james threw up. there was no funeral. two weeks later, under mysterious circumstances that dumbledore had known but never disclosed, caradoc joined his lover.

war kills lovers.

for them, it had started with marlene. she had been the first one that they really knew. others had been acquaintances, distant friends, that they had wept for and mourned, but marlene had been something entirely different, a shock to reality. they were all going to die. it happened quickly, in a rush, almost as if hadn't happened, but it burned in dorcas' memory until the moment they had died.

they said they had gone mad. they had tried to stop them, but they never succeeded. they had gone and killed, blood curling screams and pleas that sent shivers up their spine and made their blood boil, maybe that way, they would avenge her. but they thought of themselves too highly, they soared to unreachable heights. two months later, they had a little, lonely funeral, a baby crying in james' arms, and the old graveyard welcoming them with open arms.

war tears lovers apart.

remus and sirius had been the first to fall apart. maybe it had been because of their personalities, which blended in each other sometimes, and self-sabotaged, and hurt each other mercilessly, or maybe it had been just the influence of the war and the recklessness and the death, looming over their heads with a serpent and a skull and another funeral, another soldier.

they became reckless and angry and brash and, if it ever had any beauty, it had been the one of the waves crashing in the cliffs, foaming at the edges and spilling out and eroding, eating each other alive, burning each other up, until there was nothing left of either of them.

war had never been for lovers.

[arwainian]

figured out what was bugging me about someone saying they were skeptical of the queer theory term homonormativity bc it felt to them like it was saying if something is "homonormative" then its the wrong way to be queer, and that they felt "there is no wrong way to be queer"

its thats in my understanding, the critique implicit to calling something homonormative IS about saying there's no wrong way to be queer! bc homonormativity has a very strict idea about the right way to be gay: the right way to be gay is to be as similar to heterosexuality and its structures as possible

pointing out homonormativity, to me, is about saying we do not have to assimilate into the institutions of hegemonic cisheterosexuality. ie: dont fall into the trap of thinking there is a right way to be queer

[godhasforsnakenme]

BOOK REVIEW 📖

This is the one for February – I was reminded of this book half way through the month and decided to reread it again because I couldn't remember how it ended; plus a short mystery is always nice to read (side note: this ended up as an ebook read bc I couldn't remember where in my storage boxes I have my copy – it's in storage because it's a paperback edition and old and I don't want it to die on me yet lol)

[cloverkeep]

i finished reading bookshops & bonedust today! i thought it was a really sweet story and i liked the different take on the "cozy fantasy" appeal legends & lattes had. was super nice to relax with this past week!!

[danveration]

Sleep well, amour.

Parings: Alastor x reader

Summary: You’ve been very intrested in Alastor ever since you met him. He invites you to see his recording studio, which you accept. Then you ask if you can stay and listen to him host! While listening, you fall asleep. How does he react?

Word count: 2844

Warnings: Ummm not really much? Alastor being Alastor! One mention of not being able to sleep sometimes, mention of seeing people in hell doing dr*gs, k*lling eachother, and fighting, mention of reader having bad social skills (?)

part two

A/N: UM!! this is my first time writing for alastor, so apologies if it isn’t the best. Please give me any feedback you want, I’d love to hear it! Also sorry for any spelling mistakes. I hope you enjoy :’)

Alastor the radio demon. You know of the things he’s done, you know that people are quite literally terrified of him. But for some reason... you feel a certain way towards him that you can’t describe, but it’s surely not fear.

You’ve had a some-what odd admiration of him since you landed in hell, only a few months ago. You got spotted by Charlie when you first got to hell. She noticed you looking around nervously and lost, and put two and two together that you must be new. She very kindly introduced herself which was refreshing because.. well.. it’s hell. Everywhere you looked people were fighting, doing drugs, and even killing each other. You were glad there were kind people even down here.

“Hi, you! Uh, you lost?” Charlie smiled you and waved.

“Um yeah! I’m guessing this is hell, huh?” You awkwardly chuckle. Social skills weren’t ever your thing, it seems they haven’t got better after you died, either.

“Yep! This is hell! You must be new? I’m Charlie! Charlie Morningstar. It’s so nice to meet you.” She smiled and stuck out her hand for you to shake.

“Nice to meet you, Charlie! My names Y/n.” You politely smiled back and shook her hand.

After that meeting, Charlie showed you to the hotel in which you eagerly accepted to stay at, her being the only sane thing you’ve seen down here. It was a pretty nice place, no 5 star hotel like back on earth, but it was something you’re very grateful for. Who knows what would’ve happened to you if you haven’t met her.

While she was showing you around, someone caught your eye. He was a tall man, very polite and respectful looking. He was dressed head to toe in old fashioned attire, with a cane to suit his charming look. He was smiling in a way that made you look at him like he was something you wanted to inspect under a magnifying glass.

He glanced at you and smiled larger, stepping over to you and Charlie.

“My, my! What do we have here? Charlie! You didn’t tell me that we’ve got more guests? It’s a pleasure to meet you, my dear! The names Alastor!” He spoke politely.

His voice was sort of.. Radio-like? You found it soothing.

“Haha yeah! I found them wandering around on the street this morning! They’re a newcomer, their name is Y/n.” She spoke back, excited to introduce you.

“Y/n! Well, my, my. That’s quite a lovely name!” He said. “Say.. do you listen to radio? I host a brilliant radio broadcast that’ll give you some real insight on this place!” He said enthusiastically.

“Oh.. haha thank you” You smile. “I do actually! I love radio shows.” You immediately feel drawn towads him. You cant tell if it’s just the new scenery or what.. but you want to just sit and chat with him for hours.

Alastor perks up at that. “Oh you do, do you?” He smiled more.

“Yeah! Back when I was.. uhm.. alive, I actually had a whole playlist of them! What do you do your show about?” You ask.

Alastor is delighted to have you take interest in his show. “Well, dear, I do all sorts of things on there! Yes, yes, you think of it and I’ve most probably done it! Most commonly known is the souls I entrap and prison, as I broadcast their screams of horror all over this horrible place and people get to hear the noises of their never-ending torture and demise. But! I also just made a wonderful segment on my mother’s Jambalaya recipe!” He stated.

While part of those sentences gave you chills, you still seemed to take interest in him.

“Well,” you chuckle. “I will certainly check it out!” You smile.

“Ah! Wonderful news, my dear.” He said while he twirled his cane.

Charlie was watching you interact with him and noticed how you looked at him, as if admiring. She smile and said, “well! We better finish the tour.”

She motions for you to follow her and you do, waving Alastor goodbye.

He waves back and yells, “goodbye, sweetheart! Lovely to have met you.”

After that, you wanted absolutely everything to do with him. You’ve also got to know the other people staying at the hotel. Angel, Vaggie, Husk, Niffty, and Sir Pentious. They were overall kind people. Husk found your interest in Alastor to be no good.

“Yeah, no. That, whatever thing you have created in your mind about him, isn’t true. He’s vile, Y/n. Trust me on that.” He grunts.

Angel thought you had some kind of kink towards “scary, creepy men.” Which wasn’t true because you didn’t even find him scary. You found him charming.

“Ah.. Alastor? Fucking sexy weirdo if I do say so myself. He’s got some reaaal problems but hey, if you’re into that-“ You cut him off by saying it wasn’t like that & that you don’t think anything sexual towards him.

One day, you were talking to Sir Pentious about his “crush” on Cherry Bomb. He completely denied it but you could tell from his blush and his nervous demeanour that he was very interested in her.

You were caught off guard when you heard that radio voice coming up from behind you.

“Y/n, my dear! I have a question for you.” Alastor came and stood beside you, looking down from where you’re sitting.

“Al! Hey, what’s up?” You ask, containing your excitement.

Sir Pentious excused himself quickly, seeing one of his “egg boys” were being played with by Niffty. She isn’t one to be gentle.

“So, I know how you’ve been listening to my radio show as of late, and I was wondering if you’d like to see where the magic happens!” He states.

“R-really? I’d be honoured!” You say, smiling.

“Ah! Lovely. Come now, this way.”

You get up and he locks arms with you and chats about his new microphone that he got.

Once you guys arrive, you’re shocked. It looks very professional and comfortable. It suits him heavily. There’s a big open window, a desk, some chairs and sofas, a bunch of technical stuff on the desk along with his new mic that you recognize from his descriptions, and a deer coat hanger?

“Wow, Alastor. This place is so actually so sick. I love it. And the new microphone suits you!” You say. “Thank you for showing me, really.”

Typically, Alastor would never show someone something personal of his, including his studio, but you are an exception. He isn’t sure what it is about you but he doesn’t seem to hate you as much as he does with anyone else. At first he was weirded out, but now he just embraces it. He also feels protective of you. He doesn’t know exactly why you’re even down here. For as far is he can tell, you’re an angel. Always being kind even to those who aren’t kind to you, always saying “please” and “thank you,” all that jazz. Jazz! You even like jazz music, his favourite. He told you that he lived on earth the time jazz music was popular. The 20’s and 30’s. That explains his vocabulary and how he dresses. You just find it more interesting and take time to ask questions about what it was like in that time.

“Why of course, my dear! If I’d want to show anyone here, it would be you.” He says, giving you his iconic smile.

You have a thought. “Hey, Al? Would it be alright if the next time you do a show, I could stay and listen?”

You hope he doesn’t think this is odd.

Alastor raises a brow. “Why would you want to do that?” He asks.

You panic, thinking you went too far by asking and now he’s going to cut you off or something.

“Ha! Kidding, sweetheart! Of course you can. I love when my broadcast is wanted to be listened to. Though I love it as well when they don’t want to.” He says.

You’re relieved, a bit scared, but still relieved.

“Say!” He says. “I was going to make one tonight talking about this silly technology box that thinks he is better than me! You know, expose all his lies and secrets to my listeners, and unwilling listeners. Maybe broadcast it all throughout hell!” He starts laughing manically. Then calms down and stares at you.

“Would you want to stay and listen, hm? I can do it now! I didn’t have any plans today going forward and well, getting it out sooner is better than later, I always say.” He asks.

You know he’s talking about Vox when he mentioned the technology box. Him and Vox have a sort of rivalry going on. Though Alastor seems to not care much about him, Vox is sure obsessed. He’s even gone so far as to making posters about him. Which areee.. not much of a resemblance.

This offer strikes you and you immediately perk up. “Yes! I’d love to.” You say.

You don’t think Alastor knows this but whenever you’re struggling to sleep, you put on his radio show and his voice comforts you to sleep. You’re sure if you told him, he would find it weird.

Little did you know, Alastor already knew. He walked past your room one night and heard static sounds coming from your quarters. He immediately was intrigued and put his ear close to your door to hear his voice. He was surprised, but not weirded out. He found it delightful that you found comfort in his voice. It’s not everyday someone does. Usually it invokes terror and anxiety on anyone who hears. This was new, and he didn’t hate it.

“Lovely! Let me get all set up. You can sit wherever you feel the most comfortable!” He says, adjusting his mic and pressing a buttons on his table.

You find a spot and sit down. Feeling honored to even be in the same room as him, let alone HIS room.

“Ahem! Welcome ladies and gentlemen-“ He goes off into his introduction, before winking at you and starting.

After about 20 minutes, you begin to feel tired and put your head on the side of the wall, still listening but with your eyes closed.

Alastor immediately notices and smirks, knowing how his voice effects you. He continues on and after about another 20 minutes, he finishes up. You’re asleep, slightly smiling.

He walks over to you and looks down.

“My, my. You really are an interesting one, aren’t you?” He whispers. He smiles more softly than he usually does and looks around to find a purple blanket hanging on his deer coat hanger, and gently places it on you.

He feels his heart fluttering while looking down at you and he immediately shrugs it off.

“Mm well, my dear.. I guess you can stay here. I’ll just be over there, transferring my broadcast to the other radios around town.” He says and points to his table.

“Sleep well, amour.” He speaks softly.

[moonastro]

Juno persona chart

venus in the houses

what is a juno persona chart? looking into juno persona chart gives more detailed insight of how the relationship and marriage overall of you and your spouse will be like. it also describes them in a sense as well. The Greek Goddess Juno is described to rule over love and marriage and hence why the asteroid is looked into for that theme.

venus represents beauty, aesthetics and values. within the juno persona chart, venus signifies the love within the marriage, relationship style and the beauty that comes along in the marriage.

reminder: this is my interpretation from observations and first hand experiences, so don't take this to heart.

**also this can also be used for signs as well, for example if venus in persona chart is in sagittarius, read what applies to the 9th house as it may resonate as well.

venus in 1st house: lots of embodying of one another. quite literal the definition of worshiping your partner. this placements loves their partners independence, courage and fiery aura. this placement is very protective and encouraging of their partner, they act as if they are their soldier, their guard. are quick to act upon when their spouse needs attention of any kind, are always willing to put their partner first. this placement may love how their partner matches their vibe very well but keeping their identity and staying true to themselves at the same time. they lovee their partner body, yes the appearance may play a big part here also and loving how their spouse looks and presents themselves but its more how they do it and not what they see at that moment if that makes sense.

spouse can have natal venus in aries, 1st house, fire sign or fire house.

venus in 2nd house: this placements way of showing love to their spouse can be by cooking a home cooked meal, buying tiny meaningful gifts to them also. can also be by organising a comfort space for their loved one after they are having a bad day or had a hard day at work. the aesthetic of the marriage is very chill, the couple have a comforting aura towards each other, they can be each others comfort space. income is valued amongst themselves and money matters a lot to this placement. this placement may spoil their spouse and may have a mindset of its only acceptable if i spend lots of money on the person that i love in order to show that i truly love them. this placement may value objects and may have a collection of some sort that they keep, perhaps its crystals, books, scarfs, earrings etc etc whatever it is it is very special to this placement and it is very appreciated when others acknowledge their love for objects and even better when someone adds to their collection.

spouse can have natal venus in taurus, 2nd house, earth sign or earth house.

venus in 3rd house: love is very much shown by hobbies and words. lots of words of affirmation 'you look beautiful today', 'i love you' and so on. lots of strolls through the neighbourhood and doing things and spending time within the neighbourhood. for example the couple could easily just go out on a walk around their neighbourhood and go on a creative venture. sharing love through buying latest technologies and sharing some technical skills to each other, it may be internet influenced approaches as well like going online shopping or buying majority of house items from online. the couples may value the arts of writing and their relationship with ones siblings, perhaps this placement has a solid connection with their siblings and may be a big part of their life and perhaps the other also has good relations with their spouses siblings and so forth.

spouse may have natal venus in gemini, 3rd house, air sign or air house.

venus in 4th house: love between the couple is caring, sensitive and very protective. this placement tends to be very protective of their spouse and almost to the point of they'll do anything for them. literally if their spouse gets upset they get upset and want to fix it. nothing is more important to them than them being happy. the couple value their family traditions and most likely will pass it on onto their kids and will make sure to teach their kids the importance of their homeland and heritage. this placement may love how invested their partner is about their ancestry and is always wanting to find themselves. the couple may connect by relating to they way they were brought up and may agree on many things. this placement may have good relations with their family and therefore may appreciate their spouse doing the same. the aesthetic of their home is very important for this placement, it provides not only comfort but a chance for them to create special memories that they'll remember forever and pass it on for generations to come.

spouse may have natal venus in cancer, 4th house, water sign or water house.

venus in 5th house: this placement may love how fun, independent, well spoken and creative their spouse is. the love between the couple are seen by many, they are not afraid to show their love to each other in public and are proud to show off their partner to other people. the aesthetics in this relationship may be part of an entertainment business, lots of creativity in this marriage, arts, singing, dancing, writing, anything that requires to be creative is valued among each party and may be a very important part of their identity and who they are. this placement enjoys pleasure so expect them to get their way and no other, this placement will do anything in order for them to feel satisfactory and the same goes with their partner, they may want only the best for their partner and will go all out for them to make sure they are happy and satisfied. this placement may enjoy intimacy like no other, being intimate in their eyes is art itself, it connects both parties and this placement may find it beautiful how the whole thing plays out.

spouse may have natal venus in leo, 5th house, fire sign or fire house.

venus in 6th house: this couples way of showing love is definitely through acts of service, this placement is ready to literally do anything for their spouse just to show how much they love them. taking care of their spouse is how they express their love for them for example if they are sick in bed or, if they are back from a long day in work and so forth. this placement may romanticise their lifestyle and put in as much effort into it in order to satisfy their needs and their partners. this also may refer to loving their other half's flaws and insecurities, being in love for who they are and not what they are, not caring what may be wrong with them as others may put it. this placement may provide and show love by factoring lots of labour for their partner also which quite literally can mean that they may perform services for their spouse whether its doing what they ask, going out of their way to do extra work for instance when it may not necessarily be needed.

spouse may have natal venus in virgo, 6th house, earth sign or earth house.

venus in 7th house: the love shared between the couple is romantic, everlasting type of love, the love you see of an long lasting marriage of an elderly couple. the couple may express their love through physical touch like holding hands, hugging, holding onto your arm and so on and anything that requires skin to skin contact. i feel this placement also loves to keep their peace and keep everything within the relationship fair. the aesthetic of the relationship may be very peaceful and full of luxurious items in the home, so the home can be very organised and every single item is picked out precisely to the tee. they love to go out shopping for the tiny luxurious things such as perfume testing or going to shop for artistic supplies. this placement loves when their partner goes all out for them and drops everything for them, the definition of having their full attention.

spouse may have natal venus in libra, 7th house, air sign or air house.

venus in 8th house: love can be shared in secret, i feel like with this placement they show love to each other privately so the public may not see that side of the marriage. the sign its in can tell how the couple may express it privately, so for example in aquarius, there may be lots on and off moments. the couple may get along when it comes to shared money so they may get along more when one one gets a bonus at their work, or if they got extra money and so on. this couple may not be seen in public together either, whether its due to each others work schedule or their routines, most of the time they keep it low. may appreciate when their partner trusts them especially when they open up about their trauma and difficulties in life.

spouse may have natal venus in scorpio, 8th house, water sign or water house.

venus in 9th house: love is shown through interest in topics in what their spouse has to say, for example if they have learned a new thing and they share it with their spouse and this placement is in full attention mode in order to show their full interest in what their other half has to say. this placement reminds me of 'did you know this' and 'did you know that' sort of thing, always sharing what they know to their spouse. this couple may value their higher education and are proud of their success in that field. this placement has a special spot for journeys and if their spouse takes them on a journey they will take that as in that they love them. they love it whenever what they say or teach to their spouse how they use that knowledge and share it with other people, this placement appreciates it and its a sign in their eyes that their partner believes and trusts them.

spouse may have natal venus in sagittarius, 9th house, fire sign or fire house.

venus in 10th house: the couple show their love by working hard and proving themselves to beyond expectations over and over again just to prove how much their spouse means to them. reputation has a lot of value, so this placement will spend lots of money to make sure their partner looks the best and feels the best. they may love it when they are exposed to others and them seeing the love that they have for each other. the couple appreciates the maturity of one another in professional situations, they know when to draw the line when it comes to professional titles. this placement loves and is proud of their partners career choices, they find it very motivating. this couple may like to show off lots, their luxury, their home, their cars, anything that may require competition, they like being on top as it shows their validity as respectful human beings.

spouse may have natal venus in capricorn, 10th house, earth sign or earth house.

venus in 11th house: the love between the two is known amongst social groups, everyone knows them as the couple. this couple may be role models and may be know online (the sign in which venus is in can tell you why, for example if in cancer the internet may view how caring one is for each other and how protective and family oriented they are and so forth). this placement may love how their partner is independent, how different they are from other people so they may feel like they hit the jackpot with their spouse. the relationship may be filled with lots of unconventional things and find beauty in those areas in their lives such as roles that are not usually done in a traditional way, they have their own way of finding the glam and beauty in their marriage, different from the stereotype couples.

spouse may have natal venus in aquarius, 11th house, air sign or air house.

venus in 12th house: the couples way of showing love to each other is dreamy and can make the other nearly read ones mind and make their desires of the way they want to be loved come true which makes it feel like their dreams have came true. but on the other hand there is lots of creativity in this marriage, lots of ethereal aesthetic and lots of desires to make their partners dream come true, so with this placements there is most likely going to be lots of travel surprises such as them buying a ticket and saying to their spouse 'yeah, we are going to this place in two days so get ready' but it might be a dream destination for their spouse. others may view this relationship to be a dream come true, there may be lots of illusions for other people that this marriage is perfect. this placement may love how creative, imaginative and out of this world their spouse is, perhaps their spouse is someone they have always dreamed off and they are the perfect representation of their perfect one.

spouse may have natal venus in pisces, 12th house, water sign or water house.

thank you so much for your time, i hope you have a good day like always>

[alchemistc]

There's been something about the woobification of Buck that's been sitting on the tip of my tongue for weeks now, and I think I've finally figured it out.

This is, of course, mostly in reference to the moral outrage about a decade-ish (give or take) age gap between two adult men and the infantalization of one said grown man, so all the puritanism isn't really coming from a place of good faith anyway, but here's the thing that's been bugging me that I couldn't quite put a finger on until now.

Buck has people he goes to for certain things. He has, what are in his mind, experts in the field for most of the things he can't think through on his own, that he goes to for a sounding board.

He went to Hen to talk through the sperm donor dilemma for a few reasons that made sense to him. 1) She's a mom. She has very much had to deal with the reality of 'giving up' children she considered her own. Buck is aware that he would be giving up something that could mean something to him, and he wants to talk to someone who has some insight into that. 2) She's dealt with IVF. She knows the risks, she knows the trials and tribulations, she knows about this thing that he is thinking about agreeing to be a part of so she's going to have a fuller grasp on the enormity of everything this process entails.

And they drink about it. Hen gives him what she can and cautions him where she thinks she should and they continue to talk about it and regardless of what SHE thinks, he makes his mind up in part because he got to talk to his Expert.

Bobby is often his go to when he feels like he's losing his grip on things. He's seen Bobby staring down the bottom of the bottle. He's seen the work he's done to pull himself back into the world, and he's seen the way he fights for his family, his people. Buck leans on him in times of questioning himself because he knows Bobby has pulled himself off the ledge with bleeding hands and a bleeding heart.

He reaches out to Maddie about interpersonal shit constantly. We see it all the way back in S2 when he's starting to question what the hell he's still doing in Abby's apartment, and that never really changes. She's the one with advice for him when he's angry with his parents, upset with the firefam, worried about his friends, or just generally concerned with the way he's perceived by people or how he perceives the world. He goes to her when he's embarrassed, ashamed, because he knows she won't judge him for it. She'll call him out, for sure, but she's not going to look at him differently when she knows he's done something he considers bad behavior.

When he goes to her during the Tommy arc, he's there for one reason he'll admit, and another she has to ferret out. 1) He lied to his best friend and he doesn't know why. 2) Oh yeah he went on a date with a dude that's not strange WHY IS THAT STRANGE I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AN ALLY PLEASE DON'T PULL BACK THE CURTAIN - and Maddie is there with two things: 1) It's not weird but it IS new and something you clearly haven't worked through all the way which is why 2) you'll tell Eddie when you're ready

And Eddie is sort of his go-to to bounce ideas off of. Eddie is his Buck expert. Eddie is the guy who can sort through all the bullshit and who sees Buck for exactly who he is, every time, regardless of what Buck himself is thinking. Eddie is his best friend, and he knows the good the bad and the ugly better than anyone else. He is also, quite frankly, the one Buck seeks out to help him contextualize all of his romantic feelings for people. Eddie's the guy he talks to when he's interested in someone, when he's falling for someone, he's the guy through which Buck filters his love interests into the firefam. I do the same shit with my best friend. It's instinct to want the person you consider the expert on you to meet the person you are interested in, it's instinct to want them to like each other, to get along. Buck knows Eddie loves him (in whatever way you see that love, Buck knows Eddie loves him) and he wants this person who loves him to be at least an active listener as he talks himself through the minefield of relationships. I do also think that up until the events of season seven, Buck considers Eddie sort of an expert on that traditional love-marriage-kids-white-picket-fence relationship Buck thinks he's striving for - in a very naive way, because obviously the wasn't what Eddie and Shannon had and Buck knows that, but he's probably fed some of Eddie's rose colored reminiscences back into that notion.

When he comes out to Eddie he's got two worries. 1) I lied to you and I figured out why but I'm still a little worried you think it's weird and 2) I screwed it up with someone I really like and I don't know where to go from here.

And Eddie (Buck expert) reassures him that just because it's new and unexpected doesn't make it strange, that it doesn't change anything in their friendship. And then he gets right to the heart of it - if you like him you should reach out and tell him that. He doesn't know you like we do but if you give him the chance to, he'll love you as much as we do. If he doesn't give it the same shot you want to he's the idiot.

With all that context in mind, Buck isn't seeking out Tommy's attention because he wants an authority figure, or someone to take care of him, someone to guide him through sex or love or relationship dynamics or any of the other random shit I've seen ppl infantalizing Buck about.

What he's looking for, and what he ultimately tells Tommy he'd like to pursue, is a partnership. Someone to walk (or more likely for Buck, speedrun) through experiences together. The Athena to his Bobby, the Chim to his Maddie, the Karen to his Hen.

So every time I see someone infantalizing Buck for seeking out a relationship with an older man for X or Y reason, I'm just like - no. He has Bobby, Hen, Maddie, Eddie, Chim etc for that. He doesn't want or need Tommy for that. He is a grown ass man who has built these strong relationships with his peers and his mentors and he is so fucking aware of that because he reaches for their help any time he feels the urge for a helping hand.

So yeah, Tommy's older. Yes, Tommy has more experience with his sexuality than Buck. And that - that's really it. Buck's been in the same career for more than half a decade. He's lived on his own since he was no older than 19/20. He's had serious relationships, he has a rich and fulfilling life. There is no power imbalance in the relationship between Buck and Tommy.

And while the age gap may be a bit of a draw for Buck, it's not WHY he's attracted to Tommy. We know because he's told Maddie. He's cool. He's interesting. He's confident. He has a cleft.

Buck isn't going into this waiting for someone older and more experienced to take the fucking reins. He felt like he clicked with Tommy, like there was an immediate connection, and yes, Tommy had to kiss him about it for Buck to actually figure out what it was he was experiencing, but from that point on it was all on Buck (and the people he leans on for advice) to help him sort through.

Tommy didn't do shit other than pump the brakes and try to give Buck the space he thought he needed to decide what he was ready for. Buck (again, with the help of his experts - Maddie for the emotional piece of it, Eddie for the Buck of it all) did the work on his own. Tommy didn't swoop in and overbearingly hold his hand through a sexual awakening. He kissed him, asked him out, realized he wasn't ready, stepped back and then checked in multiple times when Buck came back at it going 120 miles an hour.

And then he did everything he could to prove to Buck he wanted the same thing - a partner, someone to talk to, and lean on, and flirt with and rely on to show up whenever they could feasibly manage it (and sometimes when it's a little unfeasible too).

The narrative even acknowledges that Buck had no reason to go to Bobby in this scenario, when he often would, and lays out exactly why.

Within the canon of this particular arc, we're meant to see this as Buck realizing he has the experience necessary to think these things through on his own. This is Buck finally taking control of something that's always felt like it fell into his lap a bit. This is Buck doing more than treading water until his legs give out.

And minimizing that growth bc you personally don't like the LI he's pursuing is gross at best. At worst it's something much more insidious.

[fastandcarlos]

Mixing Work And Pleasure : ̗̀➛ Carlos Sainz

summary: you’re sure as you start at ferrari you’re going to be the ultimate professional, but is it really so bad if you mix work and pleasure?

pairing: carlos x verstappen!reader

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 26,948 others

ynverstappen: first day on the new job, I think I might just like it around here ❤️🏎️

3,859 comments

username1: congratulations yn, this is such an exciting step for you!!

maxverstappen1: couldn’t be prouder of you little one, if anyone bothers you, send them big brother’s way 😂

carlossainz55: we’re so excited to have you with us making the best content in the world 🥺

username2: let’s be honest, she only got the job cause she’s max’s sister

danielricciardo: does this mean you’re in the paddock every week now so I can always come and annoy you!?

ynusername: @/danielricciardo I’m a professional now btw 🙃

charles_leclerc: can’t wait to get started and see what you’ve got in store for us!!

username3: the way she already has charles and carlos smiling after one day makes me think this is gonna be amazing

landonorris: fighting through the tears knowing you picked them over me 😭

ynusername: @/landonorris send your complaints to your boss who assured me you didn’t need any new media managers!!

username4: our favourite sibling is gonna be in the paddock every week from now on 🎉

username5: there is no one more deserving of this, you’re a genius with ideas for content!!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 1,392,058 others

carlossainz55: the perfect weekend doing all of my favourite things 💞

90,473 comments

username6: not carlos just suddenly springing a relationship on us like it’s nothing 🙂‍↔️

charles_leclerc: hope you guys enjoyed the recommendation I gave you ☺️

carlossainz55: @/charles_leclerc to please your ego I’ll give you full credit for the fact I’ve got a second date!

username7: forget the golf, forget the driving, I wanna know all about the dinner!!

maxverstappen1: isn’t it about time you started doing a different sport, one that’s at least a little bit exciting??

carlossainz55: @/maxverstappen1 I would suggest padel but that’s only exciting for me constantly beating you

username8: he only said a few weeks ago in an interview that he wanted to stay single for a while 😂

landonorris: the only reason the golf is on there is because you beat me!!

username9: there’s no way he’s gonna be able to hide this for too long, the paps follow him everywhere

alex_albon: holding the hands of random strangers is restaurant should not be your favourite thing to do 😂

username10: is this the sort of content the new manager has approved of???

username11: my heart was not prepared for this sudden post to let me know my chances with carlos are over 😭

danielricciardo: looks like someone has some serious explaining to do…

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon and 1,103,694 others

carlossainz55: this new social media manager has me doing all sorts of weird things, apparently fans like photos of me like this…I’m yet to be convinced 😂

103,684 comments

username12: fyi we absolutely love photos like these 😂

landonorris: I nearly fell off my chair laughing after scrolling through this post 😂😂😂

username13: thank you yn for convincing carlos to bless us with a world of meme worthy content

maxverstappen1: enjoy an insight into what I’ve had to deal with for the past 20 years 🙄

carlossainz55: @/maxverstappen1 I’m honestly wondering how you’ve survived this for so long 🤭

username14: he has no idea how much we love seeing this side of him does he???

ynverstappen: I didn’t exactly hear you arguing when I suggested you posting these 🤨

carlossainz55: @/ynverstappen that’s because fred assured me that you know what you’re doing 🤔

username15: saving that middle photo as my new lock screen as we speak 😍

username16: I cannot stress how happy I am that ferrari took a chance on yn!!

oscarpiastri: thanks for showing the world that you’re just a massive weirdo like the rest of us 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by username17, username21 and 2,046 others

f1gossip: SPOTTED in monaco on the weekend off the circuit, carlos sainz and ferrari media manager yn verstappen were spotted looking very comfortable together on a boat. onlookers said the pair looked very happy and were particularly touchy with each other throughout their day. is there a new couple pending in the paddock?

361 comments

username17: I always had a suspicious feeling about these two 🤔

username18: ngl all I want to know is what’s going through max’s head rn…

username19: does this make charles an official third wheel???

username20: I want to be jealous but who can deny that they look so good together

username21: she must be special, carlos wouldn’t post the photos that he did the other day for no one 😂

username22: watch carlos insist that they’re still just friends in the media pen this week 🙃

username23: I thought ferrari hired yn for max…but maybe it was for carlos all along?!

username24: did they really think we wouldn’t notice how close the two of them actually are!?

username25: I can’t wait to see the content we get if they’re dating too 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 32,054 others

ynverstappen: another race means another set up and another day with my two favourite humans. they pull these faces and yet still agree to everything I say cause they adore me 🥺❤️

4,957 comments

username26: are we just gonna pretend this is all professional yn…🤨

charles_leclerc: in that first photo we were both asking for help and yet you chose to ignore us and make us suffer if I remember 🙄

ynverstappen: @/charles_leclerc I repeat, that’s why you adore me!!

maxverstappen1: I hope filming content is all that you’re doing with them!?

username27: I think one might adore you slightly more than the other 🤔

landonorris: something tells me that charles has no choice but to put up with you these days

georgerussell63: adore me = one of the drivers is hopelessly in love with me

username28: “please yn don’t make us do something stupid again!”

danielricciardo: if only you knew just how much carlos really talks about you 🎙️

username29: no one has ever made these two act so daft, yn must have some magical powers 😂

username30: I love how she brings the best out of carlos and charles just goes along with it for the fun!!

carlossainz55: there aren’t many people we would willingly make fools of ourselves for just so you know 👀

ynverstappen: @/carlossainz55 I’ll happily be the exception to the rule 👑

username31: whoever chose yn for the job will forever be known as my favourite person in the world

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 34,958 others

ynverstappen: look out for another challenge coming up on the socials later on this week, as ever I enjoyed annoying these two so much that they didn’t speak to me for the rest of the weekend 🏎️

5,937 comments

username32: I always look forward to the content that you bring us yn 🥺

oscarpiastri: we wouldn’t treat you like that at mclaren fyi 😉

charles_leclerc: @/oscarpiastri you don’t see the things she makes us do!!

username33: I refuse to believe that carlos didn’t actually speak to you for the rest of the weekend…

lewishamilton: is this the sort of thing I’ve got to look forward to 😬

carlossainz55: my ass will never be the same after bouncing on that space hopper 🤦🏻‍♂️

username34: can anyone actually remember a time when yn wasn’t at ferrari now???

scuderiaferrari: we can’t wait to see what you guys have been up to this week ❤️

charles_leclerc: @/scuderaiferrari does health and safety not matter to you guys anymore??

username35: in every photo yn looks like such a proud aunt that she’s tormenting our boys 😂

landonorris: whatever you do don’t get the boys to race on those space hoppers, I’ve been there and it doesn’t end well 😂😂

danielricciardo: @/landonorris hands down still one of the funniest moments of my career 🙌🏻

username36: I don’t think carlos would ever describe yn as annoying!!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by maxverstappen1, alex_albon and 1,038,261 others

carlossainz55: if someone was to ever ask me what my dream weekend looks like, these are the photos that I would show them ✈️🌊🍳

128,505 comments

username37: not that we needed it, but surely that first photo is definitely yn! 😍

maxverstappen1: at least we know whoever she is (😉) she’s well fed up and seeing the sun!

charles_leclerc: thank you for giving me some much needed peace and quiet this weekend 😂

username38: you know it’s serious when carlos is making pancakes for her!!

landonorris: how come it’s been six years and you’ve not made pancakes for me, yet a certain someone else has already had them!?

carlossainz55: @/landonorris last time I checked we’ve never been in a relationship 🤔

username39: is he really trying to hide her face and put us off the scent like it isn’t obvious 🤦🏻‍♀️

oscarpiastri: we’re just gonna pretend like the whole world doesn’t already know who your girlfriend is are we??

username40: arguably a dream weekend for most of your fans too!!

ynverstappen: nice to see you getting plenty of rest old man 💕

carlossainz55: @/ynverstappen I just turned 30…this is abuse ‼️

username41: every time one of these two post I fall in love with them just a little bit more…

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynverstappen, charles_leclerc and 1,294,483 others

carlossainz55: cuddles, kisses and champagne, if you ask me ferrari made the best decision ever hiring you ❤️✨

129,058 comments

username42: eurgh it’s not fair how adorable these two are 😭

landonorris: worst. kept. secret. ever.

oscarpiastri: @/landonorris I don’t think you can ever call these two a secret!

username43: I second that statement btw, best decision ever!!

charles_leclerc: well this explains why I always get the worse deal out of the two of us in all our videos 😂😂

username44: no one seems to be talking about the fact that max seems to be so supportive of these two too 🥺

maxverstappen1: who knew seeing my sister with a guy in red could actually be quite sweet ☺️

username45: from here on in charles shall always be known as the third wheel 😂

georgerussell63: just gonna pretend like I definitely had no idea that this was happening 🙃

danielricciardo: damn cause you did such a good job of pretending you two weren’t together 😝

username46: if yn doesn’t move to williams with carlos next year I don’t know what I’ll do…

ynverstappen: a definite perk of the job was meeting you 💞

carlossainz55: @/ynverstappen the best part of ferrari is definitely you!!

username47: who says that you shouldn’t mix work with pleasure, looks like it paid off for these two!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[robiinurheart33]

Johnny gets ghost a tiktok for the very first time and the first thing he sends him is a video of two butterflies circling each other.

Us <3

Ghost is understandably confused.

?

Those are butterflies.

No that’s us

What?

Like

That’s the concept of us yk

Those butterflies remind me of the both of us

I think I get it.

Soap highly doubts he does, but Ghost proves him wrong the next day, when he sends Johnny a video of two seagulls fighting for a piece of food and texting:

Look, it’s you and Garrick.

Asshole.

It’s not even online too, whenever Ghost and Soap are deployed together or when they’re outside, Ghost will find something that represents the both of them, or the people around them. They’ve turned it into a little game of sorts, actively looking around their environment for things to compare themselves with.

Two uneven rocks leaning against each other. “Look, that’s us.”

The shared mass hall microwave exploding because some recruit thought it was a great idea to place a whole fish in there. “That’s Price.”

A kite getting stuck in a tree. “Me for real.”

Most of all though, they’ll be pointing out things that remind them of themselves. Clouds, cats, plants, any inanimate objects they see that reminds them of themselves, they’ll just point it out. It’s proven to be incredibly adorable, but it also gives Ghost a little more insight on how Johnny looks at the world. He really looks at his environment now, actively seeking out anything that could resemble their relationship. The trees are a little brighter, the sky a prettier shade of blue, the sound of a certain someone’s laughter sweeter than anything else in the world.

It’s no secret that Soap means everything to Ghost. But Ghost doesn’t know if Soap feels the same way. Soap has so many people in his life that love him, appreciate him for who he is and what he stands for. He could bend the whole world to his knees if he wanted to. Ghost has no one except Johnny. And for a while, that thought scared him. But now it feels like he has the whole world, because he has Johnny.

He loves his quirks and how his little mind works. He loves that Johnny thinks about him in his day to day life. Ghost loves Johnny, and Johnny loves Ghost. It’s that simple. He doesn’t know when it all suddenly became so clear, that his feelings had suddenly felt so much lighter, but he knows it’s all because of him.

Johnny, who sends him a TikTok at 3am captioned: it’s you and me!

[cozycottagetarot]

How Will They Pursue

How To Pick A Group:

Typically I recommend going with the image that you find you keep coming back to after giving each of the piles a once over.

Notes:

This Reading's Contents:

Initial Intentions — Why will they decide to pursue you?

Initial Approach — How will they initially approach you?

This reading is for entertainment purposes only. ✨

LINKS: Dividers | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Paid Readings — Open 🫧

PILE 1

Initial Intentions — Why will they decide to pursue you?

Cards: Two of Cups, King of Cups, Nine of Swords (Bottom Deck: Queen of Swords)

I feel like this is a decision that is well thought out and long pondered on. Your person may come across as slightly intimidating in some manner—  likely due to a label attached to them. They are also someone who is very loving and very giving but guards their heart. A relationship with you or I should say pursuing you is something they acknowledge would have its respective challenges due to your differences, but the pull or attraction they feel towards you is one that they don’t want to miss out on. For them, there’s this sense that they’d endure anything because the reward of solidifying your bond is worth it.

Initial Approach — How will they initially approach you?

Cards: The High Priestess, Nine of Swords, Three of Cups | Four of Wands, The Chariot, King of Swords rev

Your person's initial approach may have a bit of a faulty start. With the nine of swords here, they may overthink how to get you to like (?) them and come across as a bit of a ‘know it all’ … it’s not intentional, I’m hearing that they’re just trying to come across as a good candidate. That doesn’t feel like it lasts a long time though, it could simply be the first conversation or so… or maybe it happens before they decide they want to actively pursue you. Your person would turn to their intuition or lean on that 'divine guidance' for insights on how to best approach you. They’d approach you as a friend first or at the very least someone who wants the best for you. They want to be there by your side celebrating every accomplishment and cheering you on. I think they may also feel like that’s the most authentic way for them to show up balancing being true to themselves and what they believe in versus how you would be receptive to them.

Thank you for reading! 💕 This reading has an extended version available on my Patreon. All tiers have full access to the reading, along with the images of the cards, or you can purchase that particular reading as a one-time purchase from the shop section.

Extended Reading Includes:

Hidden Desires — What desires are they not openly expressing?

Actions and Effort — What actions will they take to show interest? (Available on Patreon Free)

Communication Style — How will they communicate their feelings and intentions?

Romantic Gestures — What kind of gestures can be expected?

Timing and Pace — what will be the timing and pace of their pursuit

PILE 2

Initial Intentions — Why will they decide to pursue you?

Cards: Nine of Coins, Five of Coins, Four of Swords

Your person pursues you because they feel abundant with you. I think they’ve been through a lot from a young age and have been 'demonised' throughout their life… seen as someone who just represents destruction. But with you, it’s a new sense of happiness and joy. You’ve offered them comfort and kindness seeing them for who they truly are under the surface (which may be a little rough around the edges). I kind of feel like they hate or resent everyone (not out right but it’s there) but you. They put in the work though and now it’s like ‘okay, I can enjoy life fully’ and in a way, you’re sort of a reward for all the bad things that have happened.

Initial Approach — How will they initially approach you?

Cards: Knight of cups, Two of Laurels, Eight of Laurels | Death, Ten of Cups, Eight of Cups rev

Your person is going to offer you their love right off the bat, but it won’t be inherently romantic. More along the lines of offering themself as a friend or companion. They will work to juggle putting the effort in with you versus their fears and insecurities. I think it could create a little bit of a push and pull between you two… or not quite a push and pull but more so one moment they're easily available and the next they're there for you still but you can sense they’re distant. It’s a new beginning for them (and in so many other areas of their life) so they’re working through those fears as they come to see where things go with you. With the ten of cups, they may also see you as family— found family to be more specific. So where things go from here they don’t know— but they are willing to find out.

Thank you for reading! 💕 This reading has an extended version available on my Patreon. All tiers have full access to the reading, along with the images of the cards, or you can purchase that particular reading as a one-time purchase from the shop section.

Extended Reading Includes:

Hidden Desires — What desires are they not openly expressing?

Actions and Effort — What actions will they take to show interest? (Available on Patreon Free)

Communication Style — How will they communicate their feelings and intentions?

Romantic Gestures — What kind of gestures can be expected?

Timing and Pace — what will be the timing and pace of their pursuit

PILE 3

Initial Intentions — Why will they decide to pursue you?

Cards: Queen of Cups, The Empress, The Star

Your person may idolise you a little bit.  You have a very feminine energy (regardless of gender as always)— you’re very caring and have a motherly/parental quality to you. Subconsciously this is attractive to them… I don’t know why yet. You’re someone they can turn to when everything feels bleak. On some level, I think there’s that possibility that they could want you to be the parent of their kids (hear me out 🤦‍♀️) or they want someone who can handle kids – What I mean by this last part is that I think there’s a certain level of patience/understanding/compassion that one has to have to 'successfully wrangle' kids lol. I think you’re also just someone who brightens up the world and is so abundant, and they want you to brighten them up too. It’s like that song “Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, Never let it fade away.” But as much as they see these attractive qualities in you, they also want to give you back some of that light that you always give out.

Initial Approach — How will they initially approach you?

Cards: Five of Cups, Page of Wands, Six of Wands | The Waker, The Queen, The Diviner

I kind of feel like your person pursuing you won’t be very difficult for them because I think you’ll be down for it. Spoiler alert, for the other piles it kind of felt like their person was more subtle and those reading the pile were kind of oblivious to it, but with you, it’s like you’re down for them from the start too. Are they aware that you would say yes to them? I’m not fully sure. I haven’t been reading the bottom of deck cards but I ended up looking at the bottom of the deck and you have The Lovers. For me it just all kinds of feels like commitment or the acknowledgement that you too are very important to each other is inevitable… but you guys are open to the journey and seeing how it plays out. There’s a factor of excitement in their pursuit of you also but overall this person feels pretty chill but confident in how they show up.

When it comes to their initial approach, they’re going to put in the effort to pursue you in a way that feels comfortable for you. They’ll learn about your past hurts and do their best to get to know you. I think that’s really what creates success, them getting to know you and learning how you want to be loved/cared for. Even when/if you pull back they’ll be patient. They won’t rush the development of your connection or your readiness.

Thank you for reading! 💕 This reading has an extended version available on my Patreon. All tiers have full access to the reading, along with the images of the cards, or you can purchase that particular reading as a one-time purchase from the shop section.

Extended Reading Includes:

Hidden Desires — What desires are they not openly expressing?

Actions and Effort — What actions will they take to show interest? (Available on Patreon Free)

Communication Style — How will they communicate their feelings and intentions?

Romantic Gestures — What kind of gestures can be expected?

Timing and Pace — what will be the timing and pace of their pursuit

[dunmeshistash]

G'day, I hope you are doing well.

Ever since I finished the story of Dungeon Meshi (all supplementary material included) I've been writing down bullet points on characters in addition to in-depth synopses as a way to tidy up my rather busy mind. To this end I've also greatly enjoyed reading other folks' interpretations of particular characters, as it gives me further insight into aspects of that character I may have glossed over.

However, there's one character I'm struggling to write a cohesive synopsis about, that being none other than 'miss enigma' herself, Falin Touden. I get that her whole shtick is that she's kind of a mystery, but I find myself drawing a lot of blanks when it comes to her as a character, and while I have nailed down some important bullet points, there are a lot of different interpretations on her, all of which starkly contrast one another. Though perhaps it's just the wording. Hard to say.

It could very well be that I'm being too dense i.e. perceiving "Falin is willing to risk killing others to save her friends." and "Falin, in the heat of the moment, when faced with certain death, was willing to face the prospect of harming potential passersby in a final Hail Mary to get her friends to safety." as entirely different observations. I have a hard time with those kinds of things.

With this being a hub for all sorts of observations, interpretations and cool trivia, I was wondering if you'd perhaps be willing to share how you yourself perceive Falin as a character, so I can compare notes and perhaps gain a more proper understanding of her as a character as a result. I know this question is very broad and kind of vague, but if you could spare the time I'd be most grateful.

Other than that, I wish you an excellent day.

Hello!!! I love Falin!!!!!

She *is* a mystery, we mostly know Falin through the perception other characters have of her instead of a direct deep look onto who she is, which I find very interesting. I think the best post I've seen about her (which as usual I can't remember where edit: someone linked it thank uu) I think called her perceived altruism/love "selfish" and I've been thinking about that ever since.

In that sense the way she cares so much about the comfort of people around her might be a way to keep *her own* comfort because she doesn't want to see other people suffer.

This girly died and came back to life from bones and the first thoughts she has is that she caused trouble for her loved ones

She probably has felt this way since she was a child, "because of her" that her family was torn apart "because of her" that Laios left, her mom was sick, her father had to send her away. (wasn't actually her fault but she might think it is)

I imagine ever since then Falin has done her best to not cause trouble and to make the people she loves happy, everything we know about her and the things she was doing was always for the people she loved, that's why I enjoy the post canon comic where Toshiro asks her hand in marriage again so much. The first time she considers accepting just because "might as well" while for the second time she finally wants to live for herself.

I think Falin herself has lost who she "really is" by trying to accommodate everyone around her and that's probably part of why we ourselves don't really know her, so much so that the most cynical character is uncomfortable around her (probably cause he notices Falin is "hiding" something)

I think Falin is quite the melancholic character to be honest, someone who has lost herself in self sacrifice and who is only now learning how to live for herself doing what she wants.

Both the teleportation scene and the bit about healing show "cracks" in the selfless front she puts out tbh. By context I don't think what she did was only due to "desperation of the moment" she says out loud "Even if I end up hurting others I want you and my brother to live on". She weighted out how much suffering she might cause and decided she wanted to save them anyway, and I'm sure in that calculation she knew that they would suffer because of her sacrifice too.

Falin is saving them for herself, I'm not great with words so this is all over the place and maybe sounds a little negative about Falin but the thing is, you cannot live your life for other people, you can't sacrifice yourself for other people's happiness, you shouldn't erase your own presence so others are happier and I think Falin is starting to learn that by the end.

I'd probably keep rambling without getting anywhere and missing a lot of more meaningful moments but I'll stop here, if anyone has recs for Falin analysis please share!

[egcdeath]

sealing the deal

pairing: patrick zweig x reader

summary: you and patrick make a few unique business proposals to each other.

word count: 7k

warnings: succession au – tomshiv dynamic (pre-failmarriage), proposals (business and romantic), fluff, a little angst, mentions of a dad being very sick/almost dying, lots of exposition/background on the relationship, art cameo, a little domesticity, established relationship

author’s note: you don’t have to know anything about succession to enjoy this fic! i’ll explain everything that you need to know. if you’re a diehard succession fan i can’t promise that everything will be completely faithful to the source material but it definitely takes a lot of inspiration from tom and shiv’s dynamic.

i wanted to give a HUGE thank you to my succession anon who gave me so much help and guidance for this fic and basically ended up being my co-author for this fic! i hope you all enjoy :)

It wasn’t always easy loving the youngest son of the owner of a multi-billion dollar media conglomerate. 

In fact, most of the time, it was quite the opposite. 

Even without Patrick working in his family’s business, it always felt a little bit like you were in a competition for brain space and time with his family and career, and you were losing. Badly. 

You weren’t exactly sure that you knew what you signed up for when you first met Patrick—connected to each other by a mutual friend you went to business school with, whom you’d begged to try to set you two up for career advancement purposes more than anything else. 

“You know that guy you keep asking me about?” your friend asked you after taking a hefty sip from the drink the bartender just passed her. 

“Patrick Zweig?” you asked, not bothering to pretend like you didn’t know who she was talking about. 

“Yeah!” she laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. You weren’t sure where she was going with this subject, but you were intrigued by her mention of the man and her apparent entertainment at the situation. 

“What about him?” you asked, perversely curious as to why she was bringing him up now. 

“I invited him to come out with us tonight!” she laughed once more as she divulged this information, as if it wasn’t shocking news to you.  

“What? What the fuck? Why didn’t you tell me before!” you practically yelled at her over the sound of loud music and other bar patrons. You suddenly felt very self conscious. If you’d known you were going to meet Patrick Zweig tonight, you would’ve put yourself together, rather than coming straight from work to the bar. 

“I wanted to surprise you!” she continued with her giggling at a situation that you did not find nearly as humorous. “Oh my god. I wish you could see your face right now.”

“I hate you!” you laughed, thinking that maybe this was some sort of prank. “You’re joking, then?”

“No, he’s really coming. He just got back from D.C. and wanted to meet with me. I asked if my hot friend could come along and he was like, ‘Obviously!’”

You groaned aloud. This wasn’t how you intended to make your first impression on him.

“Okay, well, what’s his type?” you asked her, hoping to get a bit of insight before you were launched right into what might end up being your first date. You were sure that you would make a good impression if you showed up as you were, but you wanted to be better than good. You didn’t want to be just another forgettable notch on his bedpost.

“I don’t know,” she sighed, taking a sip from her drink. “Hot? A nice ass? A little mean? Isn’t that every guy’s type?”

“You’re not taking this seriously enough for me,” you replied. You wanted to have a strategy going into this. You would’ve appreciated at least a small briefing before meeting someone so intimidating. 

“I am, you just check all the boxes already. Just be yourself and I’m sure things will work out fine,” she assured you. 

Her assurance was well warranted, considering that things worked out far better than fine. In fact, your friend was overdue for a fruit basket—one that you would be paying for with Patrick’s credit card as you sat in the dining room of your shared penthouse apartment, after you wrapped up a day of work in the skyscraper that was his father’s corporate headquarters. 

At the time, you had a slight idea of who he was, but you had an even better idea of who his family was. Anyone who owned a television would be familiar with his family’s corporation—from the causal channel surfers who passed one of their many news channels during their search for the newest episode of The Bachelor, to the thousands of people with their logo burned into their device screen from the hours they spent with their eyes locked on the 24-hour stream of borderline propaganda. 

Beyond his impressive family, you’d heard whispers and rumors about Patrick for a long time. Between headlines in gossip magazines and stories from your mutual friend, you learned that he’d entered the political world as an attempt to make a name for himself outside of his family name, but struggled to be taken seriously for many years due to the less than stellar reputation that came with being a Zweig.

Although, rumors about his career were just the tip of the iceberg. Gossip about his tumultuous relationships—if they could even be called that—and history of partying far too hard often ran wild, making you believe that your initial meetings with Patrick would be nothing more than a few hookups and sweet talking yourself into a new job. After all, there was no better pillow talk than an elevator pitch. 

At first, your plan seemed like it was right on track. You ended your first night together in the early morning, finding yourself in Patrick’s apartment for hours. Your night hadn’t really ever ended, with the two of you leaving the bar together, having some of the best sex of your life in a bed that felt a little bit like laying on a cloud, then proceeding to talk for hours until it was time for you to go back to work. You smiled to yourself as you sat in the backseat of Patrick’s car, exhausted from the long night and a little uncomfortable in yesterday’s clothes, but mostly enthusiastic after your surprisingly eventful night with the man. 

It was a strange turn of events from what you initially expected. While you couldn’t be too sure what you were getting yourself into when you learned you were being set up on a date, you assumed that Patrick would be like any other rich asshole you’d gone out on dates with, who got what they wanted from you, sent you off on your merry way, then never spoke to you again. You quickly discovered that he was unlike anyone you’d ever been with before. 

Patrick seemed to be full of surprises, and the fact that you were going on multiple dates with him in the first place was one of those very surprises. You hadn’t expected to go on any more than three dates before you asked about working for his family, securing yourself a job, then leaving him alone. 

What took you by even greater surprise were the dates themselves. What started as an intimate dinner in one of the most exclusive restaurants in the city ended with you at a terrible 24-hour diner, treating Patrick to his first slice of cherry pie as you talked into the wee hours of the morning. 

Your subsequent dates went similarly, with the two of you talking endlessly about anything and everything. Patrick was someone full of surprises—he was far from the rich asshole you expected him to be, and more like a knowledgeable politics nerd with a lot of money. 

You talked for hours about big things, like why Patrick decided to pursue a career as a political strategist and what brought you to New York City, but you also found it easy to discuss small random things with him, spending an extended period of time discussing how you named your cat, and debating on the best restaurant in the city. 

You always thought of yourself as being somewhat agreeable and friendly when it came to conversation, but your discussions with Patrick took you by surprise. You weren’t sure you’d ever clicked with someone the way you clicked with him, and it made you as excited as it made you nervous. 

By the time you worked up the nerve to ask Patrick about working for his family, you were already beat to the punch. The two of you were tucked into the booth that you’d recently declared as yours in the same diner that you seemed to be spending all of your all-nighters in, reclining comfortably in the particularly uncomfortable seats. 

“Do you like the business side of things?” Patrick asked you, stirring a flattening Diet Coke with a straw. 

“It’s fun,” you dismissed. “It’s less fun going to work on a half-hour of sleep.”

“Shut up. You love it,” the man across from you laughed, an admittedly very handsome half-smile on his face. “I mean it though. Do you like what you’re doing?”

“It pays the bills, I guess. I like the work, but I’m not huge on the company. All the politics and the instability with layoffs lately… It isn’t exactly ideal.”

“Would you ever work for my family?” he asked. “I mean, you’re just wasting potential elsewhere. I really think they could use someone like you on their team.”

“Seriously?” you asked, partially surprised at the proposition, but mostly surprised that you weren’t the one to ask in the first place. Across the table, Patrick listened to you intently. “I mean, If they’d have me, I’d love to work for them.”

“My dad mentioned something about them looking for some new blood. I can put in a good word for you, if that sounds interesting to you.”

“Is this because I showed you the joys of a slice of diner cherry pie?” you joked, trying not to let on just how overjoyed you were about this opportunity. 

“You got me. And now that you mention it, we should probably order another slice,” he suggested, going along with your joke. “You’re smart and you clearly know your shit. Besides, I’m mostly doing it for myself. It’ll be nice to have someone around at company Christmas parties who can actually keep up with me.”

“Well, thank you,” you replied calmly, though you were doing somersaults in your mind. “I look forward to drinking eggnog and singing Mariah Carey songs with you.”

In retrospect, you recognized this action as the first of his many wordless declarations of love. You later learned that Patrick did everything he could to avoid talking business with his family, as it was clearly a sore spot for everyone involved. Realizing that he’d gone out of his way to get you a job had been an even more kind gesture than you knew at the time. 

While you initially expected your fling to taper off after Patrick fulfilled his end of the business deal he didn’t even know he was facilitating, your relationship did nothing of the sort. In fact, his favor seemed to have the opposite effect on your bond. 

Before you knew it, the two of you were courting each other like lovesick Jane Austen protagonists. In another shocking turn of events, Patrick ordered flowers to your doorstep each morning and took you on lavish dates, while you began to take four-hour long train rides to and from D.C. each weekend to visit him, and frequently sent him rambling love letters. 

While you hadn’t expected for your relationship to unfold the way that it did, you genuinely loved Patrick. You loved the way his eyes crinkled when you told him something stupid that he’d laugh at, or how he leaned in to whisper something judgmental in your ear about someone you mutually disliked during family events. You loved the way his hand felt in yours and the way his mind worked, which he frequently displayed to you while discussing his latest political strategy. You even loved when he minced words to describe how he felt about you, knowing that though the word ‘love’ might never leave his lips, his actions spoke far louder than his voice ever could. 

It just so happened that you loved his proximity to power, too. 

While his money and power might have piqued your interest initially, it didn’t change the fact that the two of you quickly clicked. You had a natural chemistry, with you matching Patrick’s flirty words and actions with ease. It also just so happened that you entered each other's lives at the perfect time, with you in dire need of a career upgrade, and Patrick in need of someone unafraid to show him more affection and care than he was willing to give. 

Though he wasn’t the best at communicating his feelings, you quickly became a tenured professor in Patrick-ology. You were certain that this played a role in why Patrick liked you so much in the first place—being somewhat emotionally stunted, he needed someone who could understand his thoughts without him having to explicitly say every detail, and you did exactly that. 

This skill worked out surprisingly well for you. You gave him the love and understanding that he’d been looking for and missing for all of his adult life, and you got to reap the benefits that came with being in a relationship with someone in one of the most powerful families in the world. 

Despite your more humble beginnings, you quickly became familiar with luxurious items and activities. You also quickly learned that no matter how prepared you thought you were for that level of wealth—you weren’t. You couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times your unfamiliarity with certain norms left you as the laughing stock of the family. 

But it wasn’t all corner offices in skyscrapers and helicopter rides. During the honeymoon phase of your relationship, it certainly felt like it, but the cracks in your foundation became more and more evident every day. 

The thing was, as much as you two cared about each other, there was a family shaped shadow that loomed over everything that you did. It was clear that you were an outsider in Patrick’s family. Coming from an upper-middle class Midwestern background, you were often made to feel like you were a stupid gold-digger, only staying around your boyfriend for power, rather than love. At times, you wondered if his family knew what love was at all. 

The love, or lack thereof in Patrick’s family was what shocked you most of all. It was no secret that his father was unnecessarily cruel to all of his children, but particularly to his siblings trying to work their way into more serious positions in the company. Patrick somehow managed to dodge that particular flavor of cruelty, with him very obviously being his father’s favorite and working outside of the family business, but the emotional scars his father left still lingered. 

But his father’s presence didn’t just loom over him, it was beginning to loom over you, too. Not only in the extreme intimidation you felt when having to interact with him, but in the small acts of callousness Patrick showed you throughout the course of your relationship. 

It began as small things, things that bothered you less the more you got used to them. Like how he always seemed to unconsciously belittle your work, not even bothering to seem interested in the recaps you gave of your day before he launched into a story of his own about the candidate he was working with. Though you tried your hardest to fight through your smaller pet peeves with him, Patrick’s inability to be straightforward about his emotions felt like the cherry on top of an already painful sundae.

Regardless of all of the flaws, bumps, and roadblocks in your relationship, you promised to yourself that you would be in Patrick’s corner, no matter how ugly things got or how poorly he treated you. Not only out of your own self-interest, but out of your love for the man, and the knowledge of how difficult his upbringing made certain things for him. 

Which was why when you got the call from Patrick that something had gone terribly wrong with his father while coming back from his birthday celebration, you didn’t hesitate to rush to the hospital, encouraging your driver to speed all the way to the building. 

When you arrived, he and his siblings were in disarray in a way you’d never seen before. His father, who was typically a presence that towered over everyone in the room, was reduced to an old man hooked up to a number of machines. His older sisters, who were always either waiting for the moment to swoop in and make a crude joke or waiting in the wings to discuss the next business strategy, paced back and forth endlessly, clearly feeling the pressure of their sick father.

Patrick sat alone on an uncomfortable chair, peering helplessly into the observation room. It was rare for you to see him with his feelings written so openly across his face, even after years of being in a relationship with him. That concerned you.

You made quick work of walking over to Patrick, whose tensed-up shoulders slightly dropped as you took a seat next to him. Though he wouldn’t ever tell you this, you knew that your presence made him feel more supported and a little more safe, though you being or not being in the hospital clearly wouldn’t have an impact on if his father lived or died. 

“Hey,” he greeted you, immediately squeezing your hand. “Thanks for coming,” he said weakly, as if he was fighting off a new round of tears. In that moment, you so desperately wanted to take some of his emotions for yourself, knowing that Patrick hated feeling any feeling, let alone such negative feelings to such a serious degree. 

“Of course, honey,” you reassured him, running what you hoped would be a grounding hand up and down his arm. “Is there anything I can get you? Coffee? Water? A snack? I saw that burger place you like on my way over.”

“No, nothing right now,” he sighed. You inspected him cautiously, knowing that he wasn’t exactly one to always say what he meant. “Really,” he assured you, though you didn’t completely buy it. 

Since he wasn’t in the mood for more material items, you decided that the best course of action was a little affection. He wasn’t always the biggest fan of receiving affection in front of his family, but you figured that in a time where he was uncertain if his father would live or die, he would appreciate a little outward support. 

You laid your head on his shoulder and angled your body closer to his. Not expecting any response, you were surprised when Patrick kissed the top of your head. “I’m glad you’re here,” he told you quietly, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he’d be in trouble if someone overheard him. 

You held his hand as the two of you sat for hours, only getting up to stretch your legs or take phone calls from friends with insight on other high-end medical facilities that might be able to better accommodate Patrick’s father. 

You did your best to give Patrick his space when he needed it, as he floated between two of his siblings—one of which was focused mainly on the future of the company, and the other in a state of denial about the state of her father—then back to you when he could no longer stand the chaos of his sisters. 

It was a stressful scene, and one that was clearly too much for your boyfriend, who went back and forth between wanting to be glued at your hip, and wanting to be left completely alone. You’d seen Patrick stressed in the past, with him chatting your ear off as he waited for his candidate’s election results, or as he prepared to give a speech at an event, but you’d never seen him like this. 

He almost seemed fragile, like one wrong word or action might break him. It frightened you to see him in such a state. Again, you lamented not being able to take some of his pain for yourself. 

In the time that you waited without any word from any doctors, a few gears began to turn in your mind. Life was so fleeting, which was proven by Patrick’s mighty father falling so seemingly easily. Really, it could’ve been any of you sitting on that table with tubes and monitors attached to you. If it were Patrick who was sitting on that gurney, you would be an absolute wreck. If he somehow died, you also wouldn’t technically be a widow, despite your long-term relationship with the man. 

All of it made you wonder if you should just bite the bullet and propose to Patrick.

Sure, it wasn’t the best timing ever. Sure, you’d always imagined yourself being on the receiving end of a grand proposal, especially from someone like Patrick. But maybe he would appreciate the gesture—giving him a distraction to take away some of his pain, and giving him one final grand milestone with you while his dad was still alive. 

To a lesser extent, being married would provide you with certain protections you didn’t have while you were only his long-term girlfriend. Obviously, you didn’t want to think of anything bad happening to your boyfriend, but accidents and tragedies could happen at any point, and it was better to be prepared than to be sorry. 

It felt right that you might be able to join his family during a time where he was losing a family member. Not only for his sake, but because losing their patriarch meant unprecedented instability in his family. You wanted to be sure of your spot amongst them, after you’d grown used to the privileges that came with being Patrick’s girlfriend. 

You fidgeted with the ring on your middle finger, a family heirloom passed from generation to generation onto you. It was no expensive piece of jewelry, and it certainly wasn’t an engagement ring, but it was incredibly meaningful to you—a symbol of your family, which was extremely important to you. Patrick knew just how much you valued the ring and exactly what it represented to you, so in turn, you hoped that if you gave it to him, he would understand how much he meant to you. 

Getting up from where you’d been sitting for far too long, you began to pace the hallways of the hospital, wondering about the timing of your now imminent proposal. As you shuffled through the sterile building, you surprised yourself as you came across your partner. 

“Patrick!” you said with a start after unexpectedly catching a glimpse of him. 

“Hey,” he greeted unenthusiastically before beginning to walk right past you. 

“Wait,” you grabbed onto his arm before he could fully walk away, encouraging him to look right at you. It was now or never, and the words were on the tip of your tongue. 

“I’m sorry, I really don’t have time for this right now,” he dismissed, his voice monotone and listless. 

“You do, though. Patrick, listen,” he didn’t look like he was in the mood to talk, but was prepared to listen to you anyway. You knew you only had a few seconds to pitch your proposition before you lost him, so you spat out your words rather than beating around the bush. “Let’s get married.”

“What?” he looked at you with brows drawn in confusion. It wasn’t exactly the ideal reaction to your proposal, but then again it wasn’t much of a proposal. “Right now?”

“Obviously not now, but… soon?” as you spoke, you began the process of slipping the ring off your middle finger and attempting to present it to him in the palm of your hand. Sure, it wasn’t the most romantic or put together proposal, but it felt right to be offering him such a grand and personal gesture while everything else was going sideways in his life. 

“I know it’s probably not the best time, but I thought that maybe I could make things a little better with your dad and… I don’t know. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If something ever happened to you, I wouldn’t want to wonder about what we could’ve been and-” you rambled on before you were interrupted with a sigh. 

“Honey, you can’t just make my dad dying better,” he rubbed his temple exasperatedly, then looked between you and the ring you were presenting him with. “If you wanted to make me feel better, you should’ve just brought me coffee.”

You frowned at him, knowing that you’d offered him that very thing earlier and he turned you down. You wondered if your communication would ever improve—or if it even needed to improve, since this proposal was going so poorly that you’d probably leave the hospital single. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” you closed your palm and put your hand in the pocket of your jacket, fully prepared for Patrick to tell you to fuck all the way off. It had been stupid for you to think that Patrick would appreciate such a grand gesture during such a terrible time. 

“Wait,” Patrick stopped you, now reaching for your arm. “My answer isn’t a no, it’s just… I don’t want this to be the memory. Of course I’ll marry you.”

Doing all the work of getting your hand out of your pocket, he grabbed the ring you presented him with to further prove his words and slipped it on his ringer. It only fit halfway down his finger, but he kept it on regardless. 

“Really?” you said, suddenly perking up.

“Duh,” he replied, looking a little shy as his cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he briefly looked away from you, as if his feelings were so strong that he couldn’t even manage to look you in the eye. 

You couldn’t contain your excitement at his answer, jumping and squealing a little bit as you pulled him into an overly enthusiastic hug. You heard the familiar sound of Patrick laughing quietly in your ear as you squeezed him. Though he always seemed to hold back his emotions, you knew that he was just as excited as you were to be promised to one another.

You pulled him into a soft kiss, draping your arms around his neck, holding him as close as you could until he inevitably pushed you away. 

Patrick surprised you with how long he was willing to embrace you, clearly in need of a little bit of comfort after such an emotionally exhausting night. You surprised yourself when you ended up being the person to pull away. 

“Should we go check on our family?” you asked, not bothering to hide your excitement around finally being in. 

“I just need a second,” he told you, glancing down the hallway before pulling you into yet another embrace. He pressed his face into your hair, soothing himself with your scent and presence. You rubbed circles into his back and muttered something about him taking all the time he needed.

You were interrupted by one of Patrick’s sisters, whose voice called out your names down the hallway. “When you two are finished with your snuggle-fest, the doctor has news for us.”

“Wait, what?” Patrick pushed you away quickly, his tune changing in an instant.

“Good news, I think. But move your asses. C’mon,” she directed, already turning away and Patrick quickly following her. 

If you were experiencing an emotional rollercoaster, you couldn’t even begin to understand how Patrick was feeling. Finding out his dad was sick, being proposed to, and immediately hearing more news about his father in the span of just a few hours must’ve felt unreal. 

You sat quietly and observed from the sidelines as a doctor took them into their father’s room and filled in the siblings on the state of him. They all seemed to share a collective sigh of relief, and though you couldn’t hear the exact news from where you were sitting, you knew that it must’ve been good. 

When Patrick came back to you, he had a hint of a sad smile on his face. “Ready to go?” he asked you. 

He didn’t need you to ask twice. You were more than prepared to escape the too-bright lights, sickeningly sterile scent, and the feeling of sadness that seemed to be hanging in the air of the hospital. 

Your driver was a welcome sight, with him giving you a quiet greeting as the two of you got in the backseat of the car. As he drove, Patrick reached for your hand, which you gladly gave up to him. 

In the following minutes, Patrick crept over further into your space until he sat directly beside you, leaning his head on you with his eyes closed. The long day was surely taking its toll, with the anxiety of his dad being in such dire straits, and the excitement and confusion of you proposing to him. 

His sleep was well earned. You pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, then closed your own eyes, letting the soft sound of the early morning city traffic lull you to sleep. 

In the following days, you could tell that something wasn’t quite right with Patrick. At first, you chalked it up to nerves around his father’s health, but that didn’t seem to be it. Typically, when Patrick was really anxious about something, his silence on the elephant-sized topic gave him away. While you’d heard quite a bit about the state of his father from him—whether it was an update sent to him by his step-mother or an actual visit to the man—you hadn’t heard a peep about your engagement since the day after you got engaged. 

On the other hand, you were struggling to keep the news to yourself, despite the request of Patrick. You wanted to scream the announcement from the rooftops, but in the early morning after you returned from the hospital, Patrick made his position very clear: Wait a little while for things to blow over before you started telling people– your friends and family included. 

Despite the fact that he wore your ring every day since the day that you’d given it to him, something about his behavior told you that it was that very ring that was giving him so much internal conflict. 

In the past few years of knowing Patrick, you learned that he was a bit of a control freak. You wondered how out of control it made him feel for you to be the person to propose to him. Part of you wondered if you should’ve even proposed in the first place if it was going to be an issue. Maybe you should’ve let him do things on his own timeline, rather than making him feel nervous or insecure in your relationship.

But at the same time, Patrick initially seemed rather entertained by the idea of you getting married. In the morning after your engagement, he couldn’t stop referring to you as Mrs. Zweig. At the desk of your brand new office, given to you after a serious promotion, you found a box of expensive chocolates with a note fondly referring to you as his fiancé. As you laid next to him in bed that night, he pulled up the profiles of three separate wedding planners and asked you about your preference in people. 

It almost felt like his feelings on your engagement were constantly fluctuating between being excited to be with you forever, and being terrified of that very commitment. Things weren’t made any better by Patrick’s professional-level ability to dodge questions, especially questions related to how he genuinely felt. 

“C’mon, you know how I feel,” he replied to you after you directly asked him over breakfast. He lifted his mug casually, subconsciously putting space between the two of you. 

“Pat, I don’t. That’s why I asked,” you forced out a laugh, though the situation wasn’t exactly funny to you. If Patrick didn’t want to marry you, you didn’t want to force him to do so. 

“But you always know how I feel,” he said with a bit of a pout and a whine—what you called his ‘let me get away with it’ demeanor that he often used with his family—before setting down his coffee and standing up. 

“Not this time,” you explained, standing up as well and abandoning the plate of half-eaten eggs in front of you. 

“You’ll figure it out,” he dismissed your concerns and stepped close enough to you to hold your face in both of his hands. 

“Love you?” you asked, hoping that if he could confirm that at the very least, you might have a better understanding of what was going through his head. 

“Of course,” he said genuinely, though he didn’t offer you any parroting of those words. Instead, he dropped his hands from your cheeks and kissed one of them. “Have a good day at work, okay?” 

“Yeah. Thanks,” you tried not to look as annoyed as you actually felt as you made quick work of grabbing your work bag and leaving. You needed some time to make sense of it all. 

The situation only became more complicated as you sat down in a conference room, mentally preparing yourself to make your first big presentation as the newly vetted Head of Parks and Cruises division. You cared greatly about what your peers thought about you, so you couldn’t deny the nerves running through your veins. 

These nerves only increased when you caught a glimpse of Patrick from the floor-to-ceiling glass windows of the conference room, shaking hands with people on your floor and clearly making cordial small talk. 

You desperately hoped that he was there to wish you luck on your presentation, and not to pick your conversation from the morning back up. You bitterly thought about how he couldn’t have picked a worse time as he waved at you from the window. You stiffly waved back, not exactly in the mood to be interrupted right before a big presentation. 

“Hey, if I don’t make it back for whatever reason, you can do this presentation, right?” you asked quietly, leaning into your newly-hired assistant’s ear. 

“Wait, what?” he asked you, brows furrowing. “I don’t know, I haven’t practiced or anything, and-“

“Perfect,” you replied, not listening to a single word he was rambling out. “Just read off the slides. You’ll be okay.”

You didn’t bother staying to listen to Art ramble in your ear about how he didn’t know what he was doing. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be the one presenting, and if he absolutely had to, he’d probably be fine. 

You shut the door behind you, politely waving at one of your co-workers as they entered the conference room. You made your way to Patrick and stood with your arms crossed against your chest, trying to strike a good balance between showing him how agitated you were, and not trying to further agitate your fiancé, who seemed to be in a particularly fragile mental state lately. 

“Hi honey, is anything important going on?” Patrick asked once you stood across from him. 

“Actually, yeah. Is there any way we could chat a little later? Like maybe an hour or two?” you suggested. “I can block some time off on my calendar for you and everything.”

“I’m sure whatever it is isn’t more important than this,” he glanced over at the conference room as he spoke to demonstrate his point. You wished you could explain to him how far that was from the truth.

“What is it?” you asked, your patience beginning to grow thin.

“You’ll have to see. Come with me?” he offered. 

“Patrick, I’m in the middle of a meeting!” you whisper-shouted, trying to keep your voice down and your body language mostly neutral, so your colleagues couldn’t observe how much you were freaking out as you talked to your partner. 

“It hasn’t started yet,” he dismissed casually. “They’ll be fine without you. I won’t be fine without you.”

You eyed him suspiciously. 

“Please,” he added, as if you’d ever be able to say no to him—though you were pretty tempted to do so. 

“Fine,” you gave in with a small, soft sigh. That didn’t deter Patrick at all, who seemed uncharacteristically excited as the two of you sat in the backseat of his car. 

“So where are we going? Or, what are we doing?” you asked, trying to ignore the terrible feeling in your gut that you felt about leaving your meeting. 

“It’s a surprise,” Patrick said coyly. “It’ll be more fun than that meeting, though.”

“I’m sure,” you replied, looking out the window. You hoped that whatever romantic gesture Patrick planned would be worth losing the respect of all of your peers. You wondered what you could tell them that would make your absence seem acceptable. Family emergency? It wasn’t exactly a lie. It wasn’t quite the truth either. 

When your ride stopped and you stepped out of the vehicle, you were surprised to find yourself at the diner that you spent the majority of your first few dates at, splitting pieces of pie and talking each other’s ears off for hours. 

“Craving some cherry pie?” you asked him curiously. Obviously, this seemed like a task he could’ve handled on his own, coming to the diner himself or having his driver buy and deliver him a whole pie, but you figured that maybe he was simply in the mood for some nostalgic comfort. In the midst of such chaos, you would be happy to give that to him. 

“It’s been too long,” he shrugged before grabbing your hand.

Patrick led you to the booth that you declared as yours all those years ago, and began to chat your ear off like normal. While you wanted to think about work, it was surprisingly easy to forget about the real world when you were in such a nostalgic place with him. 

The two of you ordered your old usual order, only enhancing the feeling of nostalgia as you shared a plate of painfully average pancakes and a slice of cherry pie.

“Ew, what is that?” you laughed after you bit into something hard and gross. “This fucking place,” you muttered, looking for a napkin that you could spit out whatever it was that you almost just consumed. 

When you glanced down at the napkin, you were shocked to find what looked like a metal ring covered in cherry syrup. “Oh shit. Do you think this belonged to someone?” 

Once you looked up, you were shocked to find Patrick holding a black velvet box, one that you’d seen before nearly a year ago as you deep-cleaned your shared bedroom, one that you chalked up as a gift for his mother or a friend. 

“Patrick?” you asked, clearly confused. He parroted your name right back to you and opened up the box, showing you one of the most beautiful rings you ever laid your eyes on. 

Suddenly, it made sense why he asked you to come out with him, interrupting you in the middle of the day to take you to a diner where you shared so many memories. Sure, he could’ve waited until you got off work, but you figured he was thinking about your conversation from the morning and wanted to do something that would show you how much he truly cared about you. He’d always been better at bigger gestures than verbally sharing his feelings, so part of you remained unsurprised. 

“I first fell in love with you here, so it only felt right to bring you back here to ask you to marry me?” he explained, not breaking eye contact with you. He was never one for a soapbox when it came to sharing his feelings, so his proposal was short and straight to the point. Though, you wondered if he had more words prepared that he simply couldn’t get out. Based on the speed of his leg bouncing under the table, you knew that Patrick was nervous out of his mind—despite him already knowing what your answer was. 

You recalled what Patrick told you in the hospital about not wanting your proposal to be the memory—the memory you told others about when you shared the news, or fondly recalled to your kids in ten years when you reminisced on your love story. 

If accepting his proposal now, and acting like his proposal was the only proposal made him feel better, you didn’t see any reason why you wouldn’t fully lean into it.

“Oh my god!” you exclaimed, genuinely being surprised at the offer, but playing up your excitement for the sake of your nervous fiancé. “Of course I’ll marry you, Pat.”

Patrick broke into a toothy grin, his excitement contagious to you. “Give me your hand,” he directed, taking the ring out of the box. 

He slipped the ring onto your finger, and it somehow looked even better on your finger than it did in the box. You looked at it in amazement curling and uncurling your hand to look at the ring from all of its angles. 

“It’s gorgeous, Patrick. Thank you,” you told him earnestly as you looked from your hand to him. You weren’t surprised by the quality of the ring or even that he found something that you liked so much. Growing up with lavish gifts constantly being given as an expression of ‘love’ made Patrick pretty damn good at giving you gifts. As for the other expressions of love… he wasn’t the best. But he was very obviously trying his best for you, and you loved that about him. 

In some ways, your proposals felt like the perfect encapsulation of your roles in your relationship. While you offered Patrick a ring with little monetary, but high emotional value, he gave you a ring that was probably more expensive than you could ever fathom, that didn’t have the same emotional ties that your family heirloom of a ring did. 

Beyond the appearance or symbolism behind your rings, and despite your very different proposals, you were ecstatic to be engaged to Patrick. It only felt right that after years of loving the man, you two were finally making things official in the legal sense. 

As you peered at your shyly smiling fiancé, you couldn’t help but break out into a grin yourself. You underestimated just how exciting it would be for you to be starting a new chapter of your relationship. 

[ponett]

Do you have any advice for people making OCs/sonas? Yours are really well rounded and unique and I'd greatly appreciate the insight of someone who got a passion project off the ground!

So this is a very broad topic, and it varies a lot based on your own creative goals, what kind of characters you're creating, and where you want to use them. Creating an OC to be used in furry pinups is a little different than creating one for a dramatic story. But I'll try to give some general advice on how I do things for the types of characters and stories I tend to work with

Heads up: this will be kinda long lol

The germ of an idea

For me, I'll generally be inspired to create a character starting with a small number of core traits. These could be anything. A color scheme, a body type, a job, a hobby, a personality archetype, an outfit, a visual motif, a functional role in a story I'm working on, a noteworthy facial feature, a weapon, a relationship of some sort to an existing character, a single scene or joke I want to use them for. For furries and fantasy characters, species is usually one of the first things I'll have an idea for, which tends to get the ball rolling fairly easily since we have all sorts of cultural associations with different animals and fantasy creatures.

Any standout character trait like this that you find compelling can serve as that initial spark. The inspiration can come from anywhere, but it's often just a matter of knowing yourself and your own tastes. What do you like? What are the people in your life like? What really speaks to you in a character? What's an existing fictional character that you'd like to rewrite and take in a different direction? What's an aspect of yourself that you would like to see represented more often in fiction? It doesn't have to be something super deep or fleshed out right from the start, though. You can start with something as simple as "I want a black cat character" or "I want a character who dresses like an arcade carpet" or "I want a character who looks scary but is actually nice." Whatever it is, it's something that differentiates the new character from the ones I already have, because otherwise I'd just be using them.

Contrast

From there, you can start brainstorming other traits that might go with those core traits. Some of those may be traits that naturally complement each other. Continuing with the black cat example, maybe you wanna play into the common cultural perception of black cats and say that this character brings bad luck, or is associated with witchcraft. However, I often like to give characters contrasting or even seemingly contradictory traits, which can help elevate a character beyond a stock archetype. Real people tend to be a walking ball of contradictions, after all.

I've talked a lot about how I did this with the main cast of SLARPG. Melody is a fox, traditionally a crafty and untrustworthy predator, but she's extremely introverted and gentle. Allison is a bunny, but instead of being a meek and cuddly little prey animal she's an outgoing fighter who loves a challenge, and she has a muscular build. I think this kind of thing gives characters some fun flavor, and can be really effective for both comedy and drama. For an example from something I didn't write, take Senshi from Dungeon Meshi. He's a dwarf, and he embodies certain stereotypical aspects of dwarves - he's a short, buff man with a big bushy beard, he lives underground, he's stubborn and doesn't like elven magic - but he also goes against some of them. Instead of being an expert on mining and blacksmithing, Senshi is a culinary expert who has a deep appreciation for the natural ecosystem of the dungeon. He's a weirdo among dwarves for not caring about the wellbeing of his axe and for using his super awesome shield primarily as a giant wok. And that's what makes Senshi fun and interesting.

So going back to our example, instead of going with the stereotype, we could make a black cat character who has comically good luck, or who's superstitious and afraid of witchcraft, or who's an extremely rational person who always believes in science over superstition. Or maybe you roll with the bad luck angle, but instead make the black cat be the victim of their own bad luck in some interesting way. Maybe this black cat has terrible luck with love and can't hold down a relationship. Maybe this black cat is an aspiring speedrunner who consistently gets the absolute worst RNG possible in every video game due to their own bad luck. Maybe this black cat has accrued a horrendous gambling debt after a long losing streak and has loan sharks coming after them.

These are all just hypothetical examples, of course. I don't exclusively make characters with ironic contradictions like this. The idea is just to build on those core traits you started with in interesting ways, and that's one of my favorite ways to do so. But honestly, a lot of the time execution is more important than the sheer originality of an idea, and sometimes really putting your all into playing a trope you love straight is the right move.

Specificity

Regardless of what direction I take a character in past that initial seed of an idea, the key ingredient tends to be specificity. To give them specific details beyond the most stock possible version of that core idea you started with.

This is something I internalized from Tim Schafer, via a blog post in the behind-the-scenes backer material for Broken Age. Sadly I'm not sure if that stuff is still available, but I did save this particular post about creating characters since it really helped me, so I'll directly quote a chunk of that post here:

No two characters would approach a problem or react to events in the same way. At least, not if you’ve designed the characters well. If you’ve left them too vague or superficial, if they are merely functional elements in your story instead of individuals, then they might react in the same way. And that’s a problem. So to avoid that, I’m going to talk about one the most important parts of character development: specificity. Making sure your character is a specific individual, not a stereotype. A unique character, different from anyone else in the world. It doesn’t mean that they have to have wacky gimmicks, eyepatches and crazy accents. It just means they have to be specific. For example, let's create a new character. Let's say your story has a scene where your main character gets in trouble in school. So you’re probably going to need a school teacher. Imagine a school teacher for a bit. Do you see her in a little red schoolhouse? Maybe a bun in her hair? An apple on her desk? Thick black glasses? Let’s put a ruler in her hand for good measure. Done! We have our teacher character. She’s ready to be in the scene where our hero goes to school and the teacher sends her to the principal’s office for passing notes. Right? I mean, this character doesn’t have too many lines, so why develop her character any more? The problem is that this teacher is a very shallow stereotype of a teacher. She has no specific attributes that make her memorable. She’s the teacher you would get in a set of free clip art. She might not have many lines, but if all your supporting characters are this way, your story will be more bland than it should be. Even if this teacher is only onscreen for a minute, she should be unique and different from any other teacher in the world. Luckily, it's not actually that hard to make her so. You just have to ask some very basic, specific questions.

Tim goes on to explain how simple exercises like filling out character sheets with basic questions about your character (there are a million of these online) can help push a character beyond a stock archetype, even if it's a minor supporting character. Questions about where they're from, their likes and dislikes, their beliefs, their goals in life, that sort of thing. For minor characters especially, a lot of these details may never actually come up in a story, but just asking even a few of these questions and giving them specific answers helps you see them less like an archetype and more like a real person in your head. Maybe you never bring up your character's backstory or their favorite sport or what kind of music they listen to, but just having a specific answer for questions like that might help color the way you depict that character in subtle ways. It makes it feel like they aren't defined by just that one core trait you started with, and helps make the characters and world feel more alive, like there's stuff going on with them beyond the bounds of the story or the drawing.

It's a careful balancing act, though. It's easy for a character to feel like they're a collection of too many unrelated gimmicks and quirks. Again, like Tim said, these specifics don't have to make for the craziest, most original character ever, there just has to be something there.

Let's go back to SLARPG as an example, where I combined broad character archetypes I liked with more specific personal elements that I felt like I wasn't seeing enough in the fiction I liked. Melody is riffing on the common idea of the reserved healer character in the RPG or MMO party and the shy girl archetype, but she's the main hero instead of a supporting player in another person's story, and she's also a fat bisexual trans woman who draws a lot of little details from my own life. Her interests, her relationships, her opinions on things, her personal hangups and dreams, these all set Melody apart from other fantasy healer characters and define her as Melody Amaranth. Specificity!

But it doesn't always have to be super deep, especially if you just want some characters to draw for fun and aren't planning on writing a story with them. Take my fursona. I've always loved dogs, so I made my fursona a dog. I chose a Samoyed in particular because I think Samoyeds are the cutest, and I hadn't seen hardly any anthro Samoyed OCs at the time. I leaned into the breed's signature fluffiness to help my fursona stand out from other canine OCs. She has simple identifying traits like being fat like me, wearing glasses like mine, and having a hairstyle kinda like mine (when I tied my hair up in a bun, at least). And there you go. Fursona achieved. She's not a wildly high concept character, but she doesn't need to be

Anyway I realize that this is mostly about the writing aspect, so here's a few quick bullet points about designing a character's appearance:

Face and body type variety are good, but personally I would say lack of body type variety is worse than same face syndrome

Knowing some stuff about shape language is good, but you don't have to be completely beholden to the "circles are friendly, squares are sturdy, triangles are scary" shit. I'm generally more interested in using repeated shaping in different parts of a character's design as sort of a shape motif. Melody's body, hair, and tail are all made of round, swooping shapes, for example. (This is more applicable if you're designing cartoonier characters as opposed to realistic humans, obviously.)

Knowing some basics of color theory is also good. I like using complementary and contiguous color schemes on characters and generally try not to use too many distinct colors on one design. Black and white and grey and various browns are good as neutral colors to balance out the colors of the rainbow, and gold can be a nice accent color

A small handful of identifying accessories can be fun, but don't rely on those to make a design stand out. Ideally your character should still be identifiable even when not wearing their default outfit, or even in silhouette

Aaaaaand I'm gonna call it a wrap there! This is a huge topic, so hopefully this helps with at least some of the basics! At the end of the day, though, don't beat yourself up if you can't sit down and force yourself to come up with the most crazy awesome OC ever. Just have fun and be yourself!