#wanting to get gay married does not make me less queer

[arwainian]

figured out what was bugging me about someone saying they were skeptical of the queer theory term homonormativity bc it felt to them like it was saying if something is "homonormative" then its the wrong way to be queer, and that they felt "there is no wrong way to be queer"

its thats in my understanding, the critique implicit to calling something homonormative IS about saying there's no wrong way to be queer! bc homonormativity has a very strict idea about the right way to be gay: the right way to be gay is to be as similar to heterosexuality and its structures as possible

pointing out homonormativity, to me, is about saying we do not have to assimilate into the institutions of hegemonic cisheterosexuality. ie: dont fall into the trap of thinking there is a right way to be queer

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those of you who don’t know, I decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus, which is comprised of 9 units. I have completed four of the units (here is my queer cinema syllabus round up post with all the films I’ve watched and written about so far). It is time for me to make my way through Unit 5- Lesbians, which includes the following films: The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), Bound (1996), Water Lilies (2007) [Skipping for now until I can get access to it], Saving Face (2004), D.E.B.S. (2004), Set It Off (1996), The Handmaiden (2016), Carol (2015), Imagine Me and You (2005), Two of Us (2019), Rafiki (2018), and The Color Purple (1985).

Today I will be talking about

Saving Face (2004) dir. Alice Wu

[Run Time: 1:31, Language: English and Mandarin]

Summary: A gay Chinese-American and her traditionalist mother are reluctant to go public with secret loves that clash against cultural expectations.

Cast:  -Joan Chen as Hwei-Lan Gao -Michelle Krusiec as Wilhelmina ‘Wil’ Pang -Lynn Chen as Vivian Shing

__

I love when people actually have the opportunity to write and direct stories that absolutely ooze their cultures. I am not Asian, but the family dynamics that exist as a result of this story happening to an Asian family are incredibly legible and makes the film very fun to watch as writer and director Alice Wu completely scrambles the relationships between characters/families.

This was a really smart film to include in this syllabus considering the pathway to the end of the syllabus is leading towards BL shows. Saving Face follows a storyline that feels very similar to a lot of what we will see in BL when it comes to parents and their queer children trying to reach some understanding of each other. It also has some of the visual motifs that are very popular in the BL I have watched like the use of vertical walls to signal a barrier between characters (though obviously this is not unique to BL) and honestly with how many workplace BLs we’ve gotten that have made me less than enthusiastic about the actual power dynamics at play, Saving Face does a really good job showing how power dynamics can manifest in the workplace when you just so happen to be dating your bosses daughter. 

gif by @filmreel

My favorite part of this film honestly is the family relationship, how evident it is that behavior is learned and passed down between generations, like when Hewi-Lan tells Wil she worked nights so Wil could eat preceding Hwei-Lan’s father (Wai Gung) telling Hwei-Lan that he endured hardship so she could have a better life. 

It was really fun to watch how Wil and Hwei-Lan’s relationship shifts, and how they both grow as people, that Hwei-Lan starts the film wanting to give Wil’s neighbor Jay a paper plate when he comes to dinner so she can throw it away afterward and not wanting to eat too much soy sauce so her baby doesn’t “become dark”, to Hewi-Lan thinking that Vivian is racist and being mad about it to Jay and Hewi-Lan hanging out, using face masks, eating, and watching dramas together, irrespective of Wil’s presence. 

Or starting the film with Hwei-Lan strategizing with her friends about potential male suitors for her daughter for the Friday night Planet China dances, to Wil running through her own channels to develop a roster of possible Chinese men to send her mother out on dates with towards the middle of the film when they are still trying to find someone that will marry her in order to prevent further shame or disgrace from befalling their family as a result of Hwei-Lan’s pregnancy. I loved Wil helping her mom get ready for the dates and even though it was parentification, I enjoyed that role reversal of getting to see her mom be hesitant, doubtful, and self-conscious, and if nothing else I loved that moment for how genuine Wil is when she tells her mom she’s beautiful.

Or getting the lines about how everyone in the Chinese community is two degrees of separation from anyone else, and how that one off-handed line truly feels like the biggest non-family explanations for why Wil is so hesitant to be physical intimate or queer in public. As an example, you can tell she’s a little worried that Vivian told her mom that they were dating. And I liked the reveal towards the end that Hwei-Lan has known this whole time that Wil is queer but is willfully ignoring it, and that the set ups she has been trying to do for Wil at the beginning of the film are because Hwei-Lan caught her being queer and not because Hwei-Lan doesn’t know she’s queer. So you get the added layer of hesitancy around Wil’s engagement in her romantic relationship with Vivian, especially because Vivian’s parents are a part of their social circle and that puts Wil at very high risk of her mother finding out. 

gifs by @mrgaretcarter

And she has very good reason to be because Vivian is out to both of her parents and the second that Vivian’s father sees Wil and Viv in a room together he immediately clocks their relationship and exerts his power as Wil’s boss to basically force Wil to break up with Vivian.

I’ll talk about this more in the Favorite Moment portion but I absolutely loved the scene where Hwei-Lan expresses her concerns about her impending motherhood (“I am going to be a terrible mother”) and how it pairs with Hwei-Lan’s response to Wil coming out (“I am not a bad mother. My daughter is not gay.”) How the saving face cycles and Hwei-Lan has been willfully ignoring Wil’s queerness and how Hwei-Lan was going to marry a man she did not love, for the second time to save face for her father, and how it took Wil barging in and essentially giving her permission to be happy to finally abandon that and follow her own heart. 

gif by @lonesomedotmp3

And how in doing so, she is finally able to accept Wil’s sexuality, support her mad dash to the airport to try to save her relationship, comfort her child in heartbreak, and play an active role in getting Wil and Vivian back together. 

Favorite Moment 

My favorite moment is when Hwei-Lan and Wil are talking about Hwei-Lan’s pregnancy and Hwei-Lan actually voices some of her fears about becoming a mother, the first time she’s really talked at length about her pregnancy, and it is doubly important to me because Hwei-Lan is saying all of this to her daughter. Like, just read this part of the script: 

Hwei-Lan: I'm going to be a terrible mother.             Wil: What? Hwei-Lan: I don't even like babies. Stephen's always bringing his kid to the shop. All that drooling. Gross. You were different. You sprung from the womb already grown-up. And I had your father during your early years. He was really patient.                    Wil: You have me.

It is very important to me because the transition in to Hwei-Lan and Wil living together has not been the smoothest, and because Hwei-Lan has been thrown out of her parent’s house by her father because of her pregnancy and so the only person she really does have to rely on in that moment is her daughter. And it is nice to know that despite all of the things they maybe don’t understand or refuse to acknowledge about each other, that at the end of the day they are there to support.

gif by @lonesomedotmp3

We even see it with Wai Gung, who says at the end of the film that when the baby girl is born he will be over at Hwei-Lan’s apartment every day to take care of his grandchild. Sure he covers that with the excuse of not trusting what will happen if her parents are in charge of raising her, but that’s an excuse, you just know that Wai Gung is going to absolutely adore his granddaughter. 

Favorite Quote

“Are you lonely?” // “No, I have you,”

Score

9.5/10

I absolutely adored this film.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Cameos & Familiar Faces

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized by favs in each category. No numbered lists anymore, tumblr be buggn'.

End of Aug Start Sept 2023

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 8fin - Oh the DRAMA. Why does the insane ex (my true love) remind me of the cartel leader from Romancing the Stone? Even the sides got HEA! It was fucking great!!!!! Charn remains a bonkers spoiled evil murderous brat with a cruel smile beloved by his one true paladin. Also: post it love note trope! Been a long while my old friend. NO SINGING!!!!! I do love that wedding jacket frock coat cape thing Charn wore. 

In conclusion: This is a great gay suspense thriller with several solid couples, fun plot, killer characters, queer rep, and a happy ending. Charn may be my favorite lead character of 2023. However, this show is not entirely BL, more on the fringe, like Manner of Death. Add that to several "singing incidents" and pairs being a little weak in the chemistry arena, and this lands safely in 9/10 territory. It’s tons of fun tho: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. 

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Sat grey) ep 3 of 12 - This show is getting more and more lakorn each ep. Apparently the straights are having a class divide arranged marriage crisis. Who cares? Our boy is ALWAYS in trouble. Crazy that he has to save the people who betrayed him in a previous life - but I guess he chose revenge! That's unexpected.

Had to switch to grey and couldn’t find a working rip. It was frustrating and I wouldn’t have bothered except I like this show so much. Still, it means no screen caps because the rez is naff.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - Uh oh. Kang wants to save Sailom and be his hero. The fact that K’s Pa puts no pressure on him whatsoever, makes me wonder if K's Ma committed suicide or something? It’s definitely the opposite parental dynamic we normally see in BL. I have to say, the pacing is great in the show. And the acting is on point. It’s really great. 

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - these two just kiss well. I mean not "rip your clothes off Taiwan-style," but sweet young boyfriends-esk. Joke wants to be claimed so bad. It’s great. I enjoyed this ep, unfortunately it looks like we have a manufactured angst drama drop in the next episode. Is this a 10 episode arc? I thought it was 12. It’s odd to have doom happening next episode already.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - Back story time! Ray and Mew are HARD to watch. Incestuous friend group gay is the worst. Omg I got such QAF vibes from this ep. Nick Boston Sand chats = very throw back 90s gay soaps. 

Location game moment: Top's hotel room is also Chan’s apartment in Laws Of Attraction. 

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 1 of 8 - Ooo. Est is back! Hi handsome. Head of security suits you. Please lead out the new Waterboyy remake? You’re perfect for the role. (If it must happen.) Yi’s Pa is GREAT. Please give daddy a nice boy? Could that be our secondary couple for this series? 

Meanwhile, with the leads (sorry I was distracted by daddy) we got us an arranged marriage, run away bride, and an amnesia trope. Put in a secret baby and it's squarely 1980's Harlequin. Will there be Vikings? Sex herbs? Pirates? Dub con?

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 9 of 12 - Again with lovely sex scenes, it’s just the plot stringing them together is frayed. Also don’t fuck in an onsen. Both yech and ouch.

That goes for all y’all.  

Wedding Plan (Wed YT & iQIYI) ep 7fin - Trash watch here! Honestly this was an okay ending, I’m not mad at it. If you can tolerate Mame and liars (kinda the same thing) you’ll be fine with this show.

Summation: An innocent wedding planner falls haplessly and hopelessly in love with a groom who relentlessly pursued him, even though he’s about to marry someone else. A somewhat lackluster mame offering with less of the usual stellar chemistry, but all of the usual lies and manipulation. 7/10

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - I skip everything to do with Tammy and it’s fine. There’s only about 20 minutes of fine but that’s more than enough. On the bright side. So far. No singing.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 24 eps - Cassanova Begins Part 2. Aw. It was sad. Another variation on the “my ghost boyfriend” trope (usually sad). 2/10 I don't do sad BL.

Next up is Merry Go Round featuring the pair from Destiny Seeker (we likey) who want to marry each other, but end up fake engaged to the same woman. Beard squared? Looks silly.

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - There are 2 things I like about this. I bet you can guess what they are.

Lee Long Shi

The whipping boy trope

There wasn’t enough of either in this first ep. ALSO the captions, sound effects, and voice over are truly next level bad. Utterly atrocious.

The 2 leads fucking around in the end credits was the funniest part of the whole show. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 7 of 8 - I am confused and frustrated about what the communication delay is between the two Juns. It feels artificial and narratively manufactured. But since this is a short form KBL and I know it will be resolved quickly, I’m not as annoyed as I would be if this were Thai BL. Still it feels audience manipulative. I also feel sorry for Simon. BUT it looks like it’ll be a sweet boyfriends final episode.

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 10fin - Omg they’re so cute!!! Taiwan the purveyors of ultimate sappy gay domesticity. I am going to miss having these to nonsencing all over my dash.

This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Unfortunately, the story was erratic and waffled about. While the leads turned in solid performances and the sappy domesticity was off the charts, it never really had the strength of the narrative convictions such a strong concept should have supplied. Highly rewatchable and enjoyable for that sappy domesticity but not a whole lot more. Still I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity. 8/10 

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) eps 3 of 13(?) - I love the punching thing - there is a lot of violent flirting in this show. I’m not mad about it. Ugh, poor thing has real abandonment issues. And now trust issues. I see why we’re getting 12-14 eps. This gonna be MESSY.

Meanwhile, does EVERYONE have a guest cameo? Not that I’m complaining. Hi BLIHID boys! Now I need to rewatch that show. 

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 7-8 of 10 - Oh my God the next morning w/ couple 2 was so darn cute. They are all such terrible flirts with each other. Honestly, this show makes me laugh more than any other BL currently airing. I’m not sure it is meant to be as funny as I find it. While couple 3 (the mature characters) is by far my favorite, I actually think they don’t work with the other two pairs, they feel superfluous to the show. I like the show better because they’re in it, but it feels like two different BL‘s stuck together. KBL certainly can’t handle more than two couple threads at the same time. 

Why R U? (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ugh. I am such a sucker for the FighterTutor dynamic. Why so good? Uh oh. Real kiss! KBL you're spoiling us. But, isn’t sad-seme-hyung dating some chick? Argh. Poor Sunwoo. This show is even worse at repping Fighter's character sympathetically. Who knew that was possible?

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - The date episode! Even Japan is doing it now. And these two who have been living/fucking together for ages still dance around each other like junior high kids. I gotta say, I watch this one twice because Vicki has different subs from Gaga. I feel like it’s easier to understand if I watch two different translations of the same script. But it’s still quite a taciturn piece. 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - Sides are great. It was mostly a cute ep with tiny bits of Progress and a proper Confession. I miss Shin’s siblings. And then… the much loathed amnesia trope. Really?

Everyone say it with me: Must you, Japan? 

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) ep 5fin - It ended happier than I was expecting. Optimistic for one couple, and most likely optimistic for the other.

Summation: What to say about this offering from Hong Kong? It’s different, a mix of early CBL, Taiwanese shorts, and Pinoy visuals. It felt like the story was 2 independent shorts that had been lengthen and then stuck together, and I wish they'd been approached as separate and tighter entities. Nevertheless, this was a complex little piece,  interesting in a sweaty grungy way, with a certain aura of queer authenticity that made it simultaneously tense, unpredictable, and refreshing. I’m not sure I would necessarily call it BL, but any county’s early foray into the genre usually starts out this way, so perhaps nascent BL? Worth watching, especially if you enjoy stuff from the Philippines and Taiwan. 7/10

In case you missed it

Dinosaur Love ended its run but the final 2 eps are behind a paywall. Word on the street is they aren't good anyway (shocker) so I'm marking it as DNF and moving on with my life. If I can find em grey I'll watch 'em merely so I can give it a rating, but I can't imagine it will get more than 5/10. Seriously, do not bother.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming September

9/15 You Are Mine (Taiwan Gaga) Secretary has to deal with grumpy boss.

9/15 Bump Up Business AKA Bump Up Project (Korea movie) suspected cinema release? I don't know much about what's going on. Last status update. Love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency. Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has signed up to star in this idol-based BL (based on a webtoon). They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You).

9/26 I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be. No matter how hard they try, their hearts cannot reach each other.

9/27 Absolute Zero (Thai iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally bring us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from them, so I'm on my guard.

9/? Venus in the Sky (Thai iQIYI) 10 eps

9/? Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YouTube?)

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Hidden Agenda hitting us up with a hug + lap + kiss. Very nice.

I think these two might be GMMTV's best cuddlers.

Boys, I think your JoongDunk is showing.

(Last week) 

[thevelaryons]

I find it funny and too ooc when people make headcanons or fanfics where Alicent marries Laenor and they have a loving marriage and have children together.

1. Laenor would not give Alicent children, even if Otto says Alicent is the comliest girl in the court, - emphasis on court, not the entire realm, as that is actually Rhaenyra followed by Laena, who does form part of the King's Landing Court - Laenor would not sleep with her, if Laenor couldn't even do it with Rhaenyra then it is less likely with Alicent who does not even want to understand Laenor.

2. Laenor is as openly gay as he can be in Fire&Blood and HOTD, and Alicent chastises and despises him for it in both the book and the show. Alicent hails from Oldtown, the Home of the Faith, and House Hightower is its greatest ally, even more Show! Alicent's portrayal is that of a zealot! Alicent calls the Targaryen and Velaryon customs queer because they follow Valyrian rites, and I doubt Alicent would harbor any sympathetic feeling towards Laenor.

3. Let's say something happens that makes up Laenor's mind about everything and fulfills his duty, and the same timeline Alicent is not as prejudiced as she actually is. It would not be the same kind of romantic and gallant love show!Alicent mentioned she wanted in the show as Laenor would never be able to love her in the same way Alicent wishes, and considering how proud Alicent is she would slander him, just like how resentful Olenna was Daeron did not wish to marry her because he was gay and due to her pride Olenna said she was the one who broke the arrangement.

In the end, Rhaenyra needed heirs Laenor would not give her, and in the patriarchal world of AWOIAF, women are the ones who are blamed if there are no children no matter the reason; and we can find some examples in Rhea Royce and Aelinor Penrose who were judged by the Councils for not being appealing enough to their husbands and therefore the reason they did not have any children was "the fault of Rhea and Aelinor".

Do people really try to ship them together? I’ve never seen it but it’s still such an odd idea. Laenor is very obviously gay so him being shipped with a female character makes no sense. Though I have seen HOTD stans headcanoning them as gay besties which has never made sense to me either. Alicent just seems one second away from saying a homophobic slur against Laenor and even supported the man that committed a homophobic hate crime against Laenor’s lover. So any form of positive relationship between the two does seem ooc. You’re right about that. Even Alicent having a positive relationship with Corlys would make more sense. 😅

Though with Rhaenyra, I tend to disagree with the idea that she “needed heirs” is the reason she had an affair. If you go by book canon, Rhaenyra was having the affair with Harwin even before she married Laenor and clearly had no intention of ever having Laenor’s children. Meanwhile in the show, she seems to have attempted a relationship with Laenor for approximately 2 months before she began the affair with Harwin. As we see with many other couples (even Rhaenyra’s own parents), there is no full guarantee of pregnancy/childbirth happening right away. Rhaenyra had the affair simply because she wanted to. I say this because the actions she takes in having an affair do not line up with that of a person motivated by duty.

Disregarding the over the top character assassination that Alicent is getting in season 2, her book counterpart would not enjoy being married to Laenor, both for his refusal to do his duty and his open show of affection to his lovers which she would view as disrespectful to herself as his wife. Though if they were married, Alicent would not slander him openly. She's still his wife and has to play the part properly, no matter how much she may hate it. Also, Alicent comes off as the type that enjoys being doted on. She wants to be shown that she is someone's priority in a way that no other is or was. That's probably why on her deathbed, she makes no mention of her father (Otto seems emotionally distant) or her husband (Viserys kept trying to balance Alicent's wishes with Rhaenyra's wishes), but was said to frequently mention Jaehaerys and his kind words towards her (and Jaehaerys was not particularly kind to his daughters). Even though Jaehaerys' actions might stem from the regret that he feels towards his daughters, and he mistakenly refers to Alicent by his daughter's names, he's still showing Alicent the affection/understanding he failed to show his daughters. That's something Alicent carried with her to her dying days. So yeah, she would most certainly hate Laenor because he would ignore her completely (even more than he did to Rhaenyra in the early days of their marriage) and focus all his attention on his own lovers. If somehow, Laenor was willing to do his duty in his marriage, he still wouldn't sacrifice his own personal happiness for it. Laenor keeping other lovers while being married to Alicent would only lead her to resent him. They're two completely incompatible individuals no matter what the circumstances.

[atwoodsfemalefantasy]

WOMEN I NEED YOU TO LISTEN! this election rests on our shoulders. we have the power to beat Trump and Vance, and if we all work together to educate each other and understand how dystopian Trump and Vance will make this country for us, we can beat them.

Here's the facts:

-Trump and Vance want to get rid of No Fault Divorce. No Fault Divorce basically makes getting divorces possible without serious repercussions. No Fault Divorce saves women from abusive relationships ALL THE TIME. Trump and Vance plan to force women to stay in abusive relationships and are hiding it under the guise of "protecting families. Getting rid of No Fault Divorce ensures that women in unsafe and abusive marriages stay there and will lead to women being murdered because they couldn't get out. every voting age woman in america, take heed. Trump wants you to be forced to stay in abusive marriages. if you care about women's lives DO NOT LET HIM WIN

-JD Vance does not want women to be able to work. if you vote for Trump, women might lose their right to work, and along with it, their right to individual financial stability, and will be forced to stay in unhealthy relationships, forced to be homemakers, and have no choice in their own lives. do you want to go back to the 50s? do you want a man controlling your life? how long until they take our bank accounts again?

-JD Vance associates with people who say "feminists deserve rape". what do you think a man who associates with monsters like that will do to women in this country? first, we'll have to carry rapists babies, and then what? rape becomes even less punished than it is now

-Vance openly opposes gay marriage. are we prepared to live in a world where not only are we and our gay friends aren't allowed to marry but also aren't allowed basic rights like hospital visitation only allowed to spouses? and any queer person (like me) knows that marriage is not even close to being our biggest concern. it starts with denied wedding cakes. it ends with denied healthcare, and we all remember the last time that happened to the LGBTQ+ community.

-both Vance and Trump are openly transphobic. all those anti trans bills we've been proposed that never pass? they'll start passing. and if empathy for your trans sisters isn't enough for you to vote blue, remember that anti trans laws hurt women too. the second you drop your guard and don't look falsely feminine the way they want you too, you could be assumed to be trans and targeted. cis women have been beaten up for being in women's bathroom. cis women have been sent to mar jails because they're assumed to be trans. and to all trans people out there, we have the power to save this election. even if it seems pointless, even if you're losing hope, GET OUT TO VOTE. if you care about your rights, VOTE BLUE

-Vance and Trump want to get rid of ALL ABORTIONS with NO EXCEPTIONS! even if you're anti-abortion (i refuse to say pro lifers when abortion bans KILL WOMEN) THINK ABOUT THE RAMIFICATIONS. They want no abortion for rape victims. they want no abortions for incest. they want children who are pregnant to be forced to give birth EVEN IF IT WILL KILL THEM. women who will die from ectopic pregnancies WILL DIE if they can't get abortions. please, i am urging you, if you care about the lives of women, VOTE BLUE. even if you're pro abortion, the bans they want will kill women AND abort the fetus. A) zygotes are not alive or children. they aren't alive. B) even if you believe they are, please, you have to care about women's lives enough to trust them to make that decision for themselves. please do not be responsible for the women who will die. the women who will commit suicide. the women who will be murdered.

-Project 2025 includes cutting the department of education. do you want your kids to grow up intelligent and capable and educated? Trump and Vance don't.

-need any more evidence of Trumps racism? he wants to cut the EPAs office of External Civil Rights. actively cutting offices dedicated to equality and STILL he's supported

-i understand the concerns about Palestine. i hate the way Biden handled it too. but please, i need you to think. Trump, who openly hates middle eastern people will not handle the situation any better.

DO THESE ISSUES AFFECT YOU?

they should TERRIFY you.

Trump and Vance want to take us to Handmaids Tale America where women are forced to stay home to serve a man, have his babies no matter what, and never leave.

but we have the power to stop it. women, we account for more than half of this country. these men want to steal your rights away from you. DO NOT STAND FOR IT. we can beat those fuckers if every single one of us gets out to vote and votes for our fucking human rights.

we have the power, women. we have the power, POC. we have the power, LGBTQ+ community. if we protect our rights, we can win

[ulfrsmal]

just finished Assassin's Apprentice and I have thoughts about the Fool & Fitz's friendship, not just it being developed off-page but in general. no spoilers for the rest of the series pls i'm starting Royal Assassin today tl;dr: the Fool and Fitz are consistently, canonically othered by the people in Buckkeep in different ways, yet similarly enough so that we can say "like recognises like". they are friends because nobody else understands what they go through day by day -- because nobody else is othered like they are. they can be intrepreted as joining forces to remain more or less sane, and/or less lonely, in an environment that does not, nor wants to, support them. also they may both be queer in different ways

basically, their friendship was forged quickly and offpage in a way that can feel like a copout, but which to me was not. it makes sense to me! both are alone and lonely and othered by the people in Buckkeep, albeit in different ways, plus what we have of their characterisation supports this too. Fitz canonically is alone and lonely, and he canonically considers friends those he spends some time with. eg Molly, who i can't argue was a true friend to him, but whom Fitz def saw as that. Fitz and the Fool live in the same place (give or take a tower a stable or three), they saw each other semi-regularly at best, and for Fitz this Creates Friendship. The Fool also makes fun of Fitz in the same way he makes fun of everyone. this is important because most people look down on, and make fun of, Fitz specifically because he's Fitz The Bastard. he's set apart from everybody else in Buckkeep in this way. but the Fool doesn't do that: he treats Fitz in the same way he treats everyone else. for someone like Fitz who's only had negative attention, this neutral attention must feel like praise outright. thus: Friendship on the other hand: the Fool. his physical description sets him apart from the dark-eyed, dark-haired, ruddy-from-being-outdoors, people of Buckkeep (Farseer line especially). his profession also sets him apart from every other non-royal, non-nobility person. (i've done no research but i've been told that historically irl court bufoons had physical disabilities, eg dwarfism. i accept corrections & info about this, i know i could very easily be wrong). Basically, nobody sees the Fool for what/who he is, they only see his profession in the same way that they only see Fitz as The Bastard. no nuance. the Fool, by virtue of having lived in Buckkeep for longer (and perhaps being older and/or more developed than Fitz), must have recognised this similarity between them fairly quickly. plus he dreams about Fitz. Thus: Friendship

there's another angle i didn't touch upon for lack of info but here it is too: queerness.

to me Fitz read like aroace (he didn't get Molly's implying/expecting him to ask her to marry him, for example, nor the "catamite" reference which could've been understood by context if not through the actual word). Besides, the Wit can be taken as a Gay Analogy/Allegory, which would only add to his (canon) queerness! the thing is: idk about the Fool. not yet. so I cannot say if this plays a part into their shared bond/friendship.

but the Fool already has a very Gender Thing going on canonically, there's an italics at the beginning of a chapter that's basically him telling people to mind their own fucking business when asked what gender he is, so like. Fitz and the Fool are arguably part of the same community, aka they're both queer, just in different ways perhaps. will need to read more about the Fool especially to expand on this X)

[the-raging-tempest]

gay posts can’t be deleted. bring back that post about their HOMOSEXUAL attraction SPEAK ON IT 🗣️

Anon… I’ve been sitting on this. Sometimes I think I snipe a post fast enough and yet. Here we are. I deleted it because I was trying to put it in more elegant words. Not that I was trying to hide it LMAO I always worry about being misunderstood. Perhaps too much if I’m being honest. That and I included my own feelings and experience. Which always makes me self conscious. But thank you I’ll do my best! Anyway here we go.

Boy oh boy we are getting into the weeds. Let’s talk about some sexuality. Also brief talk of sexual trauma here so read with caution. Zrise in particular gets messy.

In the spirit of oc’s being queer. Shout to Min @another-heroine for this lovely piece. For some Lariel being gay. And Dujour @dujour13 for this wonderful gift. For some Zrise being gay. Both from OC kiss week back in February 💕

I think I’ve said this before, but in my mind Zrise is hit with the bisexual awakening early. Lariel much later in her life.

In my mind Zrise had much less expectations to carry on his name and family through marriage. (As he can’t have children biologically due to the curse) So he had to find some other ways to be ‘useful’ Vs Lariel was basically used as a pawn in her arranged marriage.

What I mean by this, is for Lariel there is a lot of comphet going on. That and she is a very sexually repressed character. She denies that part of herself out of fear and shame. But also because she doesn’t want to be like her family. She has to find someone she feels safe and comfortable with. She’s easily flustered by anyone she’s attracted too.

Zrise doesn’t really have to worry about making the same mistakes his mother did. OR at least not THAT mistake in particular. (Unwanted Children) He is not currently the type to yearn for children or marriage really. So he finds it to be a freeing notion.

Lariel’s grandfather really emphasized her sorcerer bloodline and how she might be ‘useful’ in marriage to a cis man and having children. The fact that she was engaged to a man was not the main issue it was that he just didn’t care about her.

Basically what I’m trying to say is a lot of BOTH of their attraction is tied up in their relationship with how their family treated them.

Zrise got to realizing he didn’t have to ‘marry’ a woman very young. He’s currently not one for really liking the idea of marriage but as a child he wanted to get married. He and Lariel spent a lot of the time reading the same books and things. So up until his drowning he was quite a ball of sunshine and optimism.

Zrise also got out in the world and experienced a lot more than Lariel. At the half elf equivalent of 16 he was basically sent off to Calistrian boarding school in Galt. Where he got to experiment and express himself a lot more. His first real crush/love/attraction being on Oria who was non-binary.

Zrise’s attraction to femme vs masc is… interesting to me. He is actually fearful of men who seem like they can overpower or hurt him. He finds he is not attracted to men who have certain tendencies that are hard to put into words. Anyone that reminds him of his time with Relik or at the Golden Palace or of himself.

Woman and non-binary individuals he is less default afraid of. He knows they can and probably will hurt him. He actually is more into femmes who make him feel powerless. Masc it’s the opposite. But this is just strange logic from him. Because he does have a lot of trauma from femmes as well.

I think it stems from the fact of WHEN it happened to him. Deeply ingrained into his psyche as a child vs happened to him as he was more aware and ‘in control’. Something he feels he ‘deserves’ vs Something he resents and was ‘made to sufffer’. It’s difficult to describe.

Lariel. Is more directly trauma free in that regard. She has no sexual experience and her knowledge comes from what books she has tried to read. (But she gets embarrassed easily) Her trauma is more tied with comphet and misogyny.

For Lariel her attraction to femmes would be a surprise to her. It would be a slow slide from ‘well of course she’s beautiful’ to ‘of course I want to hold her hand’ to imagining getting a kiss and becoming a mess. Then slowly it would dawn on her that she feels more than friendship for this person. And as always she… gets embarrassed

I think her taste in femmes is actually less specific than her taste in masc people but it just flies under the radar for much much longer. HAHA.

Sorry I went on this long ass ramble. Hope this makes any sense. 💕

[westofessos]

So I just finished Gilmore Girls for the first time and boy, do I have some thoughts:

First of all, I love this show so much. More than I ever thought I would. It’s just so comforting. I totally get it now.

Now, for specifics.

Lorelai:

I love Lorelai. She does make some dumb choices, but in the end, she’s just so loveable and fun, I can’t help but adore her.

Rory:

I do not get the hate I’ve seen for Rory! Yes, like her mom, she makes stupid decisions, but she’s so wonderful. Maybe it’s just because I relate to her so closely, but I love Rory so much.

Luke:

Ughhhh I love love love Luke. He’s so unexpectedly hilarious sometimes?? I did not foresee that when I started. Scott Patterson is also strangely one of the best actors on the show, which I also did not expect. Luke is a gem, we love him.

Luke & Lorelai:

How could you not love these two together? They’re absolutely perfect for each other and the pining, especially on Luke’s part, makes for incredible television. I do think their dynamic kind of lost the really special ‘will they, won’t they’ tension after season 1/2, but I still ship them. So glad they ended up together. When she was still with Christopher near the end of season 7, I got a little worried.

Paris:

PARIS IS GAY. I will accept nothing less. She is queer in some way, whether she’s a lesbian or bi. She had absolutely no chemistry with any of her love interests but so much with Rory. Also she’s just amazing all around. I fucking love Paris. Make her queer, cowards.

Lane:

How could you not love Lane? She’s the absolute shit. Cool, supportive, loyal, and a fucking rockstar. I didn’t mind her with Zach to begin with (even though I thought it was a bit strange how they all of a sudden liked each other), but when they got married and had kids, that was a big nope for me. Lane Kim deserved to be a famous rockstar.

Emily & Richard:

I went back and forth on these two. On one hand, they’re very entertaining characters and I do believe they’re trying to do what they think is best, but on the other, I think in the end they do more harm than good. The way they dismiss Lorelai’s trauma, and completely disregard everyone else’s opinion because they assume they automatically know what’s best, just rubs me the wrong way. Not to mention the manipulation and the going behind people’s backs. I think there should’ve been an arc at the end where they finally listened to Lorelai and acknowledged what they’d done and tried to change for the better.

Sookie:

Melissa McCarthy is great in everything, and this is no exception. She’s so sweet and lovable, and such a good friend to Lorelai. I love her. Plus her relationship with Jackson is just lovely.

Michel:

He’s such a sarcastic bitch and I love him. I think that’s all there is to say.

The Townies and Side Characters:

Kirk - Kirk is maybe the funniest part of the show and such a little sweetheart, I love him so much.

Babette - aka the best neighbour ever. We deserved even more of her and Morey than we got.

Miss Patty - same goes for Patty! We need more Patty!

Taylor - annoying and obnoxious but the show wouldn’t be the same without him. Irreplaceable.

Gypsy - again, we needed more!! Gypsy was so funny and I just wanted more!

April - I love April! She’s so sweet. I don’t, however, like what her arrival did to Luke and Lorelai’s relationship, and I fucking hate Anna.

Christopher - I don’t hate him, but he’s definitely not one of my favourites. I think it would’ve been a lot better if he and Lorelai had just been really close friends, or if he had just been fully out of the picture.

And finally, the boys:

Dean:

FUCK. DEAN. Do I need to say more? He’s a toxic, possessive, asshole and I hate him. He was okay in the beginning, but the ‘50s episode really clinched my hatred for him. Huge nope from me. What a dick.

Logan:

Man, do I hate Logan. Obviously not as bad as Dean, but he’s such a douchebag!! I genuinely cannot stand him or put up with any of his bullshit. I thought he would grow on me as the show went on but no, I only hated him more.

Jess:

Best for last. My love for this man knows no bounds. Obviously the best fit for Rory, I love them together, but also his relationship with Luke is so great. Also, justice for his and Rory’s relationship while they were dating!! Why did we only get to see it when shit hit the fan? They kept mentioning how they were going to hang out, that they were meeting up later on, so why didn’t we get to see any of it? Why did we only get to see them when Jess fucked up? I hate that. I also hate that they didn’t end up together, even when Jess grew and changed and bettered himself. Anyway, I just love him. I could talk about him forever.

A Year in the Life:

They tried to fit 22 episodes worth of Gilmore Girls into 4 episodes, and it didn’t work. The first episode did an okay job, and I did kind of love the last episode (the wedding!), but the middle two were. . . yikes. No theme song/opening titles? No transitions? NO SOOKIE EXCEPT FOR ONE SCENE AT THE END? Michel thinking about leaving the inn and Lorelai being abandoned by both of her friends? No Jackson? Rory being with an engaged Logan? Basically no Jess except for a few scenes, one of which broke my heart? I could go on forever.

That being said, they should make more after the cliffhanger they left us on. I’ll take whatever I can get, even if it’s subpar.

Anyway those are just a few of my many thoughts about this show. I can’t believe I waited until now to watch it. I need someone to talk about this show with so if you see this and want to talk, DM me.

[scarletspider-lily]

this bullshit discourse around cishet aromantic men is driving me insane and im not aromantic or aspect in the slightest but i gotta rant. because it's just getting very ridiculous at this point, because people make assumptions about everyone and also want to twist the definition of being queer- for some reason?? 1) "well- well they dont get oppressed!! >:(" sorry, pause, why the FUCK are we making "oppression" a part being lgbtq+ ? is this some new fucking requirement?? are you people okay?? i dont give a fuck if some queer child has had the best life ever in a super inclusive area from the second they were born, i would be happy for them?? maybe you should too? listen, ive faced oppression for being bisexual, and have felt envious of those with accepting family and whatnot, but what im not going to do is discredit my fellow queer person for facing "less" or no oppression at all for their identity. crazy take, but i think the goal should be to reduce queer oppression...

and oppression is not... some fixed scale type of thing, someone was trying to say that being asked "when will you get married?" to aro people wasn't oppression. as if that is not the only thing aro people face, as if instituitions like marriage dont exist, with certain economic benefits aro people can't partake in, and social constructs making certain people seem "weird" and straight up ostracized from social groups if they choose not to partake in romance.

2) amatonormativity is a thing, look it up. i get that it may be frustrating if you are allo to accept that youve been taught a lot of stuff about romance that seems magical and all encompassing and you dont want to give it up, but no one is asking you to do that. i used to be taken aback at some things aro folks pointed out, but as ive read more, ive realized that romance is wonderful to some people but shouldnt be held up as the ultimate pedestal in society. so, romanticize romance and whatnot if you personally want to, but understand that certain social constructs may harm people, especially those who do not want relationships for whatever reason. plus, learning about amatonormativity has helped me positively go about my own relationships- platonic and otherwise! 3) im gonna piss people off with this one, but please stop with the bullshitty radfem takes about cishet men being the ultimate spawn of satan, or something. the jokes here and there were one thing, but some of you guys actually believing that most of what cishet men do is inherently evil is legitimately concerning and this doesnt do much to actually help any matters. no, the man choosing to have another hookup this week or continuing to fuck a female friend-with-benefits isnt the ultimate enemy here against women. most takes on "hookup culture" generalize a lot of people's experiences, and i know there is research backing multiple perspectives on this, but at the end of the day what needs to be realized is that you cannot stop two consenting people from doing things together. it has no impact on you, and does not have a grand impact on society. unless you have definitive proof that whatever evil man you're talking about is "using women", there's no point to what you are saying, and if there is such a man, cishet aro men still are legitimate in their identity. would you exclude gay people from the community because of gay people who do bad things? would you do that for most identities? no? what makes this so drastically different, then? dont pull the oppression argument again for the love of god anyways, i hope all the cishet aro men and aro people in general are having a nice day. you will always be a part of the lgbtq+ community. dont let anyone tell you otherwise, or discredit you for the amount of "oppression" you face, as im sure they dont know half of any struggles you have. and if you (or any queer person in general) do happen to have few struggles, im very happy for you, as that's how it should be!!

[lover-of-mine]

I love your last answer because it matched my musing today on the treadmill. Buck always had to go first because his was always easier. He was raised by Maddie. Despite people hating the parents I actually don't think they are homophobic. I was also raised by waspy white parents. Maybe they might have thoughts or what not but I don't think it was talked about. No religion. Traveled all over. He's always been love is love is love. That's why Tommy's plot point moment with the ash kiss face made me laugh because it served 2 purposes. Showing Buck comfortable kissing and letting everyone know. Which was basically confirmed by Oliver hinself..

Eddie's story was always going to be more complicated. He was married to a woman he has romanticized the idea of. Grew up with religious guilt. Where Buck bailed on the seals he stayed in the Army. His story was never going to be told in 2 episodes. It involves deconstructing, also what Ryan had said.

Last note I don't think Eddie would fit in dating around with guys the way you could have Tommy pass by in Bucks life. Like I can't see it play out the same. Does that make sense? When Eddie realizes it's basically going to be Buck. Not sure if I worded that right. But it just wouldn't be organic.

I think Buck's parents just don't like anything that goes against the perfect nuclear family, and I think that's backed with the way they literally ran away from judgment, the way they abandoned Maddie, the way they treated Buck, so, yeah, I think the scene is less oh they are homophobic and more this turns away from my idea of a perfect family, I'm with you in that interpretation. And, like, Buck has a much more straightforward relationship with relationships and sex in general, so a guy grabbing and kissing him works. Eddie, sure, he is a character who had panic attacks at the thought of life with a woman, so pushing him towards a guy and saying surprise, he's gay, he was just repressed, could work but it would only take him so far. For the consequences for the people around him but also because of Eddie's relationship with himself. Buck doesn't know how to label shit, so he needs things spelled out to him in a way Eddie doesn't. I don't think you can present the idea of attraction to men to Eddie and not have him attach those feelings to Buck because Eddie understands his own feelings, he just ignores them. And realizing he's attracted to men would force him to look around himself and Buck is one of the most important people in his life, he is one of the most important relationships in his life, he would make that jump, and there's the catholic guilt, the expectations that were placed on him, the way he is still romanticizing Shannon, the way he keeps making romantic decisions based on Chris not what he wants, it would never be straightforward. I would never be as simple as having a guy kiss him. So Eddie figuring out he's queer has to make buddie canon, even if one-sided. But also because, in a scenario where Eddie just gets a boyfriend before Buck figures out he's bi, Buck would have a lot of emotions, and Buck is LOUD with his emotions, it's not the type of thing he would be able to control (I mean, Eddie made a friend and Buck almost broke his leg in the confusion), and that means they would either have to trip Buck into the realization himself, end up making Buck seem homophobic, or make someone confront him and guide him to the realization. And in this scenario, if Eddie confronts Buck, that conversation ends with them making out. The show doesn't let them talk about who they are to each other because there is no realistic way to write that conversation that doesn't end with them confessing their feelings or at least shoving the other against the nearest surface. And I think you're right, Eddie was not presented as someone who dates around, not in the way Buck was, that dude wants to be in a long-term relationship, he would get kissed by a dude, like it, then be like, cool, imma go see if my boy bestie wants to marry me, because Eddie is too self-aware to be able to pretend what he has with Buck is normal if he knows he's into men. I also think Eddie would not let himself be kissed by a guy out of nowhere, a guy who's not Buck at least, I think if Buck just kissed him he would go with it, but there's a level of conversation that needs to happen there that didn't fit the plot they gave Buck, it's easier to let Buck go first, slam him into the attraction to men and let Eddie walk towards his queer arc because queer Eddie needs queer Buck first unless they wanted to speedrun buddie. Which they clearly didn't lol. Eddie has a too complicated relationship with romantic love and attraction for his arc to be that straightforward.

[losersroom]

could u directors cut the conversation of gay90s where it's like "I’ve been thinking about April. You know, before I left." to "“Absolutely,” says Brock, who has never understood anything less in his life"....whatever pieces of that that u want to!! i just love that conversation and would love to hear ur behind the scenes!!!!

GOD so like. alright that whole fic grew out of a conversation me and g were having Forever ago about this post, particularly the second point. and i was like, oh hey, that reminds me of this story i wanted to write about brock going to the gay 90's. and then i sat on it for like two more months.

so the important thing to take away from this is that it was only ever supposed to be that first part, where brock and jonas run into each other and then jonas sucks him off and they kind of subtly agree to not talk about it, the end. but like, i am at heart a gigantic sap and i wrote up to there and realized i couldn't leave it on the final line of. it can never happen again. because i too have been gay and closeted and sad about it, and i didnt want to give all that to brock.

(the other thing, which you didn't ask about but here it is, is like. a lot of these thoughts and attitudes i gave brock in that fic were just... how i felt, about myself and queerness and everything, at age 21/22, born and raised in the midwest. and like obviously i grew up and got over it and i'm extremely queer and trans and married now, and i want to think, hey, in this universe i'm constructing, it can get better for brock, too. we just have to get him there.)

anyway i had to then construct like. a narrative throughline from blowjobs to some sort of mutual understanding. ive said this before but i always think it's fun in these things to like, present brock's opinions and perspective and expectations and just pepper in around the edges hints of what jonas is actually thinking and feeling and doing, which. doesn't always line up. and then make people guess what's going on in his head, same way as brock is guessing. what i HOPE people took from that scene is that, you know, that whole summer brock spent thinking about jonas, jonas was thinking about him, too. trying to work out in his head if brock being there was a one-time thing or if there's an opportunity to have something more. and i DONT want to get into whether or not i think jonas actually has a history in this continuity with any of the people that brock imagines he might, because i think it's more fun to leave people room to draw their own conclusions, but he definitely has more experience with Being Queer In The NHL than brock does, and navigating that world, and being just. careful about it. exercising caution. he might want to mess around with brock again, but he has to approach it with discretion, you know, in case brock... Isn't into that. (but in my heart, because i'm me, i also like to think that jonas is interested because it's brock, not just because he's there and potentially the only one of their teammates available. u know. in my heart everybody's in love, im a romantic, i can't help it.)

so that scene was just intended as like. connective tissue. but it wound up being my favorite part of the entire fic lol. just the... palpable awkwardness of trying to figure out if a guy is interested in you. being on the same page without really being on the same page. and then jonas choosing to just hang out awkwardly and watch a terrible movie at 2 am with brock not just because he cant think of another way to extract himself from the situation now that its clear theyre not going to fuck, but because he sincerely likes spending time with this idiot, lmao. that's Real. that's a move i would have done, when i was dating.

[gillyeowalters]

As it is pride month, a not so quick reminder:

ARO/ACE PEOPLE ARE VALID.

One day, I met my husband. And I loved him. But I did not want sex. So I stayed quiet because it felt like I couldn't give him enough. I thought that we should stay friends. I did not confess my feelings.

It was my birthday, when we sat together on the couch and he hugged me and said: "You know, I think I love you." And I thanked him and said: "But you wouldn't want me." I laughed when I said it, but it felt terrible. But I needed to say it like that because I did not want him to think that he was the issue. I had memorized that sentence, so I could use it when I needed to.

He was confused and obviously a bit shocked as well, so I had to explain myself to him.

I remember constantly assuring him that it wasn't because I thought that he was ugly or undesirable (my husband was heavily scarred and often would feel insecure about his body).

He asked me if hugs were ok and I said yes. And we both decided that hugs were enough. And that is how we got together. We stayed together until he died from cancer in 2017.

We didn't have it easy. Not only because of homophobia, not only because he was a Jew living in Germany, a country that claims to be but never really was de-nazified, not only because I am intersex and considered a freak, but also because of ace-phobia.

When other queer couples started to talk about their sex life, we stayed quiet. Just because we had nothing to say. But that was not ok. Because that apparently 'made things awkward' for others. When we told them that we didn't have sex, that was also not ok. And then the questions began.

"Why?"

"Can't you get it up?"

"Did something bad happen to you?"

"Don't you love each other?"

But the questions were not the worst part. The direct accusations were.

"You must be broken in some way."

"You can't be gay."

"You should see a psychiatrist."

"You don't love your husband."

It hurt.

And then there was this indirect accusation of me 'doing this' because I wanted to 'feel purer/better/superior' than others. Everytime.

So. Let me say this:

I DO NOT HAVE TO BE THE YES-MAN WHO HAS TO CONSTANTLY REASSURE YOU HOW GREAT OR IMPORTANT SEX IS AND THAT IT IS OK TO BE A SEXUAL PERSON.

ME SAYING THAT I DO NOT WANT SEX DOES NOT MEAN THAT I JUDGE YOU FOR HAVING SEX. I DO NOT THINK THAT YOU ARE WRONG, OR DIRTY, OR LESSER FOR HAVING SEX.

That is your insecurity talking. And maybe you actually are not so proud of your own sexuality if that pride immediately is hurt by a stranger telling you they are not interested in sex.

And it is not my job or the job of other asexual people to make you feel less insecure and fragile about your own sex life.

Sex does not gross me out. Sexual people do not gross me out.

Making Sex the be-all of all and everyone's relationships grosses me out.

And despite people telling him that I was mistreating him, that he deserved better, that he should cheat on me, he stayed with me, he cared for me when I got my spine injury and could only lay in bed, he reassured me that I was enough and more.

And despite people telling me that it was my fault that he got cancer because I didn't have sex with him, that I was weird and gross and that I could not possibly love him.

I loved my husband. To the last day he lived. And I still do. We were not married. But he asked me to call him my husband. Because, if the circumstances would have allowed it, that is what he would have been.

[wrestlingarsenal]

Some clips from an old wrestle-porn magazine that fetishized a violent encounter between the "evil" Tully Blanchard and "pretty-boy" Robert Gibson. The images depict blood on their faces and, in the cover photo, splattered across Gibson's hairy chest as an angry-faced Blanchard savages him.

The photos depict Blanchard's (sexual) domination: as he is positioned above his victim, or yanking the bitch by the hair, or standing over him (with the kneeling Gibson pawing at the dominant male's waistband.) The text further sexualize the violent scene:

(I can confirm: the little boys loved him, indeed ) In the article, Blanchard outs himself by commenting on his opponent's good looks, referring to the other man as a "pretty boy," which causes the reader to ponder why he is so obsessed, really, with the younger man. Perhaps the big boys love him too, eh Tully?

Blanchard also exposes his jealousy over Gibson's relationship with his tag team partner, referring to Ricky Morton as "his fairy godmother Morton." The word "fairy" implies a homosexual tie between the handsome young Rock n Rollers (tell us more!) Later Blanchard also refers to his enemy Gibson as a "fairy" (wishful thinking, perhaps?)...

"I first met him..." "Somebody introduced us..." It sounds like a married couple recounting their Meet Cute.

It's OK Tully -- I'd be attracted to Gibson too if he had gotten this intimate with me!

In the article, Blanchard explains that he wants to mangle Gibson's face to make him less attractive, and therefore less beloved by the fans. But why would Blanchard resent Gibson's popularity? A beloved Babyface earns more money for the entire company, Blanchard included, because his youthful sex appeal will boost ratings and put asses in seats.

This leaves the reader to wonder: Is Blanchard's motivation for mangling Gibson's face actually intended to help Blanchard himself get over his repressed homosexual attraction to this "fairy"? Does Blanchard's use of homo-phobic terms like "fairy" reveal a repressed queerness, which he wants to avert by disfiguring the object of his gay desire? If he were truly repulsed by Gibson, would he really want to strip down and roll around with him (repeatedly)? Or maybe I'm reading too much into Blanchard's motivations -- maybe he's just sadistic and gets off on disfiguring attractive men.

The article appeared in the September 1986 issue of Sports Review Magazine.

[nicosraf]

My question has SPOILERS! So please look away if u don’t wanna see! Also, I’m sorry for so many questions ahhhhhhh

What is Phanuel’s feelings towards Michael? I know that Lucifer expressed feelings of jealousy over their closeness (or at least that’s how I interpreted it with Lucifer ripping Phanuels face off), but were they unfounded? The way I read Phanuel was more of a platonic friend (especially since he did tease Lucifer, that one time with Michael around— saying that Lucifer talked about Michael a LOT when he wasn’t around). But after the trauma they both went through, I do wonder if their friendship has gotten a lot more intimate since we last saw them.

Also, does Michael ever get jealous in Book 2 because of Lucifer and Baal’s “closeness”? I imagine that Baal and Lucifer get closer in Book 2 simply due to the fact that he was kind of like… the runner-up love interest (?) in Book 1, and the fact that they would be spending a lot of time together after The Fall. (But I’m sure Lucifer is playing with Baal more than he actually cares for him).

Anyway, I’m excited to read Book 2 once it releases! And to read more about Azazel and how gender will be explored more after the creation of Woman. I love your characterizations of the angels and am so, so, so excited about how you’ll write demons :)

(PS I reread Paradise Lost for the first time after high school after I finished ABM and it was a trip)

Hello! Please dw! I am so bad at going through my inbox sometimes but I try really hard and appreciate any asks :')

SPOILERS for ABM (and a tad of A&M) under the cut

Lucifer was less jealous about their closeness and more so blaming Phanuel for Michael not joining him during the rebellion — which is unreasonable. Lucifer basically sees them together and invents this whole scenario where Michael was going to run away to Lucifer but Phanuel stopped him.

'You did this. You’re why Michael denied me. It had to be you.’ He saw it so perfectly in his mind that it had to be true. Michael telling Phanuel that he regretted his decision, that he was going to apologize to Lucifer. Phanuel saying it was a bad idea. Michael, who would have left to find Lucifer and stood with him in the center, surrendering. This was all wrong because of Phanuel; it was his fault...

We know this didn't happen; Michael was sleeping and Phanuel was just there to comfort him. So Lucifer is being unfounded with his beliefs regardless.

But about Phanuel's relationship with Michael — I kinda hesitate to use the word platonic. Angels are very close and I think the lines between friendship and romance are incredibly blurred for them (typical gay friend group lmao). In a short (thought non-canonical) story I wrote a long time ago, I referenced that Phanuel once kissed Michael on the mouth during a celebration, which I still consider probably canon. I guess if I had to put a label to it, they would be more like queer-platonic friends. So, Phanuel and Michael don't have romantic feelings, but they are both respectively very queer and they would be comfortable doing things we might associate to be romantic (cuddling and even sharing a kiss or two).

If Part 2 never occurred, Lucifer could probably watch Phanuel and Michael cuddle and not think that much about it, except maybe pout because he wants to be in Michael's arms at the moment. (He might just squeeze in between them though; what's better than being squished between the angel you love and his nice friend?) Angels are just very queer platonic-y, really. Romance is less about actions for them and more about feeling.

And ohhhoho does Michael ever get jealous of Baal.... I'm hesitating to answer because the relationship between the 3 is hilarious to me and I don't want to give too much away. Also, "runner-up love interest" is making me laugh but it's very true I think.

I guess, if you asked Baal, he would say Michael is very jealous of him and that he loves being married to Lucifer.

If you asked Lucifer, he would say what marriage.

Michael would not reply.

Anyway!!! I'm really glad you're excited for the sequel :') I hope you enjoy it. It's very weird about gender and I'm a bit scared to see how people will react to it but ,, i hope it is good

[outrunningthedark]

i hope i can articulate this properly but the problem (for me) with how they've written most of the love interests for buck & eddie so far is that they've never gotten them integrated with the other main cast much at all. so it feels a little like they're taking away screen time i'd rather see spent on other people with scenes that are just buck + LI at home or eddie + LI at home (although they can at least get chris in there with those too)

like in restrospect it's kind of hilarious actually that taylor was involved in way more scenes with the 118 before she and buck got together then after

I think your feelings are echoed by many in the fandom, and it's the main reason why I stopped pondering the future for Natalia and Marisol. I personally don't see what a DIY-er and a death doula are going to bring to the firefam dynamic when neither character has a history with them (TayKay) or is a parent to someone's kid (Karen, Shannon). I do have a couple #unpopularopinions in relation to this, though. o1. Difficulty integrating has not been limited to Buck and Eddie Lis. Michael was a main. He had his best friends, his kids. But did his love life get a lot of attention prior to the hospital explosion? And then why did the hospital explosion episode even happen? To give those characters a friendly sendoff. Had Rockmond never been let go over his actions, we can't say that part of his story would have gotten any better.

Maddie is a main. She has a child with a firefighter. They're getting married. Why does Maddie go missing in big moments? Why was she not around during the dispatch fire or Henren's vow renewal? Why is she not having "girl talk" with Hen and Karen, her soon-to-be-husband's best friends? Why is she so isolated that the fandom can't even agree on who would be her maid-of-honor? o2. Buck and Eddie can't both have first responder LIs, I'm sorry. Yes, it's the logical choice if the show wants to make new characters "fit", but that would leave only one of the mains with a LI as a background presence - Hen. I realize that the show isn't actually for us gays, but having the lesbian relationship be the one with intentionally less screen time is a path I'd prefer they not take. o3. Not directing at any specific person because I don't know the opinions of every single one of you, but I will repeat something I said the other day and apply it to future LIs. *I* think it's too little, too late not only to get the GA on board with Buddie, but also to get the fandom - the Buddie shippers - on board with other LIs. The excuse for not liking outside relationships has been that they don't feel like part of the family (agree there), but had Tim shut down the possibility of Buddie for good with Ana, or brought in a new LI for Buck in 4B that wasn't previously criticized...we wouldn't be having these conversations today. Lucy comes in as a first responder and people hate for the cheating angle, sure, but what really stung for most of them was the reminder that the fate of Buck and Eddie would never have been a debate were we watching a man and a woman as opposed to two men. Eddie could fall in love in season seven and the reaction would be "Why does Chris need a new mom when he already has Buck???" Um, because Eddie is supposed to be straight? The only way for Buddie to be co-parents without the confirmation would be if we were watching a queerplatonic relationship. Except...neither one is queer.

You know when you try to clean a stain and somehow make it look worse than it already was? That's what it feels like to watch this show and those characters post-s4.

[pinkorchidsinspring]

as someone else who grew up mormon, the prairie diamond ring bracelet is the biggest reach.

as some else who grew up mormon and is bisexual and had her sexuality speculated before she ever had the chance to came out, it is INCREDIBLY harmful of yall to be dedicating entire blogs to proving someone’s sexuality. how you all don’t see that is insane to me, if she IS bisexual it is incredibly gross to be trying to force her out of the closet.

taking a queer meaning from someone’s art (aka, YOUR interpretation) does not mean they are gay. trying to force that on someone you don’t know is not cool.

Hey anon, I am fully aware that that is a big reach, the person who added it knew that it could be a huge reach and openly said that if you read the post. So while I respect your opinion about my blog, and this communities blogs, I cannot respect you calling us gross for talking about our queer interpretation of her art.

We are NOT trying to force her out of the closet. You do not see us commenting on Taylor’s best friends, and “boyfriends” accounts that they need to “get married already” or commenting on Taylor’s posts “Break up with him already 😩”. That is SWIFTIES. They get all in her business and harass Taylor and her friends, all because they want more information about her personal relationship that they don’t deserve.

We as a community just want Taylor to be happy, and that means we would be perfectly fine with her being straight.

You’re right, by the way, our opinions don’t make her gay.

For an artists who loves Easter eggs, we would believe her if she didn’t constantly queer code everything. If her top artist on Spotify wasn’t girl in red. If her music didn’t constantly reference a “best friend” that she allegedly ended her friendship with in 2017 In a romantic light. If she didn’t tag her account in the middle of a rainbow on her posts. If she didn’t have a song about the street she lived on with that said best friend. IF SHE DIDN’T WRITE THE LYRIC “I DON’T WANT YOU LIKE A BESTFRIEND” OR “SHADE NEVER MADE ANYBODY LESS GAY”.

So no anon, it’s not cool to force someone out of the closet. We would never pressure Taylor to come out. Is there some accounts that probably do? Of course, but we are not those accounts. We care about her happiness, and her happiness both in love, and in general, cannot be found in Evermore, or Folklore. Nor can it be found on Midnights with songs like Anti-Hero, Lavender Haze (that 1950’s shit they want from me), You’re on your own kid, and even sweet nothing.

You’re telling me anon, that Sweet Nothing doesn’t sound like one person wanted only sweet nothing. They didn’t want ANYTHING from her at all, in exchange for their love? That instead of a contractual arrangement, she fell in love?

You’re telling me that any of her boyfriends’ names are something she can slur til’ someone puts her in a car? I don’t know about you but kar-lie sounds more like car when slurred then Joe…

So I’m sorry anon, but in this case you weren’t in the right of accusing me of forcing her into anything. She does everything on her own terms, and we can’t, and won’t change that. We want her happiness, and it clearly isn’t being evidenced in her art thus far.

Maybe you should look at your own heteronormativity and how that affects Taylor’s sexuality. Maybe you’re a part of the reason she’s in the closet in the first place… I beg of you anon, go check out some of the amazing Kaylor Blogs I follow and look for yourself how much our interpretation of her songs is the one she means. As a bisexual yourself I know you can see beyond the heteronormative window, so please, do try.