#I love saying I love you I love meaning it I love people and humans and being kind and oh boy I should sleep I have a lot of work to do

[jasper-ontheoffbeat]

I’M UP HATING POP PSYCHOLOGY. MEMEME

to be more serious: i have empathy for the urge to compartmentalize like this. genuinely, i do— for some, processing trauma feels easier when there are ready-made labels for the things/people that hurt them. i so deeply understand the urge to file away overwhelming chaos; to make sense of the cruel and senseless; to be comforted by pop psych “gotcha” moments and cling to categorizations. i know what it feels like to try to neatly reorganize broken self-concepts and horrifying histories. i’ve dealt with this exact issue myself.

that being said… unfortunately, it just. doesn’t. work.

automatically slapping warning labels on ASPD, NPD, BPD, etc is simply not fair nor accurate. the nuances shouldn’t be ignored: does the concept that mental health matters come with conditions? does furthering the stigma really empower victims, or does it drive offenders away from self-awareness and recovery? does it really help to boil human behavior down to lists and labels, or does it just skew our perceptions of ourselves and others even further? is it productive to focus on condensing things, or should we ultimately focus on understanding the complexities that make generalization ultimately impossible?

this is NOT to say that ANYONE has to entertain or forgive abusive people. not at ALL. i’m also not saying those who don’t care to improve should be forgiven and/or granted the opportunity to keep treating others poorly. there is a stark a difference between acknowledging nuance and normalizing/excusing abuse— you can express pain without making harmful blanket statements. in fact, it’s straight up ignorant to disregard those who are working their asses off in recovery. these disorders can be uniquely challenging to live with, and stigma makes everything 10x worse, especially when trauma, defensiveness, and self-hatred are inseparable from disordered beliefs/behaviors. you have EVERY right to cut off shitty individuals and despise them and feel rage and do whatever you need to do to heal— at the same time, people who present in malignant ways won’t get any better if they’re universally met with hostility. after all, 99% of the time, recovery seems like a far better outcome than total shunning. wouldn’t it be so much better if these people had safe spaces in which they could to learn to never abuse other humans again, and to develop healthier self-concepts?

(i say this as someone who’s been abused horribly countless times by people who present like this, developed BPD as a result, and gone through wild amounts of intensive therapy. i no longer meet the criteria for BPD.)

(of course, there are some acts that are UNFORGIVABLE. those require a… unique approach. i don’t feel qualified to go into that territory because personal experiences have left me way too biased; just know that i don’t mean to erase that line.)

also, re: MBTI/love language/brain development/brain gendering/dark empathy/blah blah blah: the same principle applies. individuals’ psychological makeups and backgrounds are too complex to accurately box in. that is the nature of the human condition, and even though it gets overwhelming, at the end of the day, it’s beautiful! there is no linear pathway for anything, and that is a GOOD thing! at best, all of those words can provide useful loose blueprints for furthering introspection; at worst, they create interpersonal divides that are either based on faulty assumptions or entirely non-existent.

we don’t have to fit into boxes to find community. it’s fine to use things like MBTI and love languages as cute, unweighted bonding tools, BUT in order to truly understand each other’s wants, needs, traits, and issues, we simply need to COMMUNICATE. no matter how isolated we feel in our struggles, WE ARE NOT ALONE. we are all mosaics of the experiences that have shaped us, and we each deserve to be understood as works of art, not as sums of our most basic parts.

tl;dr pop psychology egregiously simplifies human behavior and it is Not helpful as it seems

who up hating pop psychology

[arc-misadventures]

Celebrity Crush

Jaune: Okay, okay... I can do this... I can do this...

Nora: Are you sure, Jaune?

Ren: Yeah, you look like you're about to have a panic attack.

Jaune: Well excuse me, but I'm about to meet my girlfriends mother! I think it's reasonable that I don't want to embarrass myself in front of her!

Ren: Uhh...

Nora: Okay, that's fair.

Pyrrha: Relax, Jaune, you have nothing to worry about. I'm sure my mom will love you! Your parents love me, I'm sure my mother will love you just as much in turn~!

Nora: That's not a fair comparison.

Pyrrha: What?

Jaune: Yeah, that's like comparing the value of a diamond to some common rock quartz.

Pyrrha: Hey! What did I say about talking about yourself like that!

Jaune: To not be that rude?

Pyrrha: To not to!

Jaune: I deny the existence of such a statement.

Pyrrha: Ohhh... Come on, Jaune. Let's go say hi to mom.

Jaune: Okay...

Ren: Good luck, Jaune!

Nora: Have fun saying hi to, Pyrrha's mom!

Ren: Think they'll be okay?

Nora: No, not really.

~~~

Pyrrha: Okay, Jaune, are you ready?

Jaune: No. But, lets do this...

Pyrrha: ...

Pyrrha: Good enough to me. Let's go!

Pyrrha: Okay, Jaune! Say hello to my mother, Athena Nikkos!

Athena: Oh? So you're, Jaune Arc? My little girls boyfriend it's nice to...?!

Jaune: Red Hood?! Pyrrha, your mother is the legendary huntress the, Red Hood?!

Pyrrha: Y-Yeah...?

Jaune: Why the hell didn't you tell me she is your mother?!

Pyrrha: Because, she is my mother, Athena Nikos first, Red Hood last.

Jaune: That is a fair, and valid point!

Pyrrha: Thank you...?

Jaune: But, seriously?! Why couldn't you tell me that your mother was my childhood hero, and crush?!

Pyrrha: Childhood hero?

Athena: Childhood crush~?

Pyrrha: My mother is your childhood hero?

Jaune: What? Can't a guy see a girl as his childhood hero? I mean come on, your mother is a strong, brave noble warrior who fights to save people whoever they are, wherever they are! She's the epitome of noble beauty, and grace that everyone looks up to. She's such an amazing example of a Hunter, that I can't help, but to aspire to a, Huntsmen of her caliber!

Pyrrha: Oh... That's fair... I had a similar feeling when I decided to become a, Huntresses myself.

Jaune: See! She's an inspiration for anyone, male, or female, faunas, and humans alike!

Athena: Oh, it's nice to hear that I am an inspiration to the next generations! But, what is this about me being your childhood crush~?

Jaune: Uhh... Well... a kid... goes through puberty... And, then we have someone like you... and your voluptuous body.. well defined curves, and... round bouncy assets... Can you blame a guy?!

Athena: Oh~? Is that so~?

Pyrrha: Wait... is that why you like me, because I reminded you of your childhood crush?!

Jaune: To be fair! I didn't know you two were related! I always like you, Pyrrha because you're you. Sure you look a lot like my childhood crush, but I never knew she was your mom! Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't mistake you for her. Bar the eyes, you two look identical! Your mom is just thiccer... and, a milf... A thic milf...

Pyrrha: Thiccer...?

Athena: A thic milf~?

Jaune: Honestly... if you didn't tell me she was her mother, I would have thought she was your older sister. Honestly, Ms. Nikos, you don't look like a woman in her mid thirties.

Jaune: She is in her mid thirties right?

Athena: I'm actually twenty eight years old.

Jaune: ...

Jaune: D-Did she just say she is twenty eight years old...?

Pyrrha: She did.

Jaune: But, that means you were eleven when you had her...?!

Athena: Relax, Jaune. I'm Pyrrha's mother, but I'm not her mother-mother.

Jaune: Eh?

Pyrrha: She's actually my aunt. My parents, my birth parents died when I was seven, Grimm attack. Athena, took me in since she was the only member of my family left. I just started calling her mom after a while, and Athena just accepted it.

Jaune: Oh... That... that's good to know. I almost had a panic attack at the possible implications of that statement...

Athena: That's understandable. That's how most people acted when I told them I had a kid. Ahh~! It became a pretty good conversation starter when talking to new people. Now then, on to the real questions about your adorable, handsome little boytoy~!

Jaune: B-Boytoy?

Athena: You've been dating for about a six months, so what base are you at~?

Jaune: Base?

Pyrrha: S-Second base...

Jaune: Oh that base.

Jaune: ...?!

Jaune: Wait, why are you talking about that?!

Athena: Making any progress for third base?

Pyrrha: We've gotten pretty close, but I keep getting cock blocked by my teammates, and friends...

Jaune: Oh, so that's why you were so angry all those times...

Athena: Need some... help~?

Jaune: H-H-Help?

Pyrrha: Yes please~!

Jaune: Yes?!

Athena: Alright then. Hey, Jaune~?

Jaune: Y-Yes...?

Athena: You want to live every guys childhood dream~?

Jaune: W-What dream?

Athena: Fucking their childhood crush~!

Jaune: ...

Pyrrha: While having a threesome with their daughter~!

Jaune: ...

~~~

Nora: Where are they?

Ren: Yeah, they should have been back hours ago.

Nora: They should both still be here.

Ren: Go see what they're...?!

: OhhhhHH~!

NR: ...

Ren: W-Was that what I think it was...?

Nora: I think it...?!

: Just like that you fucking stud~!

NR: ...

Nora: T-That wasn't, Pyrrha...

Ren: Does that mean...?!

: Mom! Hurry up, I want to have my turn!

Nora: Okay, we're going now!

Ren: Already ahead of you!

Nora: That may not have gone how I expected things to go, but... they're getting along...

Ren: That's one way of putting it...

///

This was a character I could never use, because I could never think of a way to incorporate her into any stories. But, as Pyrrha's mother; That'll work nicely.

What do you think. @lar-mx is it good?

Link to Art

[rosinkreutz]

You should tell me more about Asuka. Literally anything. I’m kind of obsessing over him right now and I need to know EVERYTHING. sorry. I’m going crazy right now and I love Asuka so much

Anything Anything? Asuka and Asuka-Related Fun Facts: 1. RK's color palette (02) matches with Raven, except with the places and overall prominence of black and white being opposite between them. They even both have a coin in one eye. Asuka in his right, Raven in his left. This means that between the two they make up one dead man and one alive man. 2. In Vastedge, the Tome of Origin had blood red pages. They absolutely should have kept this it was sick as hell. 3. Also in Vastedge, the folds in the front of his robes resemble stacked pages of a closed book. There's a concept art of him opening himself up, confirming that he has been fused with the Tome for a long time.

4. I-no's recurring black wings (i.e, in her super) alongside Raven might be a reference to the two information-collecting ravens of Odin, Huggin (~mind) and Muninn (~will). Odin is often depicted with one eye and is associated with a number of concepts, notably including death, knowledge, wisdom, frenzy, and sorcery. 5. The only time he implies any actual aggression toward someone (as in, wanting to hurt them just to hurt them and not because he feels has to) is against Anji, implied by the following battle intro in Strive: Anji: "No agreement necessary, right?" Asuka: "No, but you'll wish we had one." 6. While he certainly does care about the opinions of those he likes, like Sol, he's especially sensitive to the opinion of Jack'O. See the round win line "Please don't be mad at me!" and the battle intro: Jack'O: "Trick or... Oh, hey Asuka!" Asuka: "Are my tricks or treats not good enough for you? That's... kind of sad."

7. Related to the previous point, Asuka also describes his separation with Raven as "kind of sad". The implication is that when something is kind of sad, this actually means he is suffering a million internal deaths. 8. I have heard that buckwheat noodles (re: Asuka's hobby of making them via rube-goldberg machine) are a stereotypical old-man food in Japan. 9. In Accent Core, he instructs Anji to tell I-no that there are no second chances. In the same game, he also tells Slayer the he can never change. However, after Raven tells Asuka that Anji is not someone who can be trusted, Asuka replies: "Watch what you say, Raven. To survive... people always improve. Humanity keeps on living, even if it goes against God... The fact that you are standing here is only further proof of their tenacity". This implies that he considers himself to be something closer to I-no than Anji or Raven. That is to say, not human. Considering his actions and, more literally, the fact that he is literally fused with the source code of the Universe, this is an understandable position. 10. Going off of his model and concept art for Strive, it seems that he is mostly legs. He has a similar leg:torso ratio as Jack'O. 11. There's something wrong with him. Also, his English VA in Overture would go on to voice Bedman in Xrd.

Some Pictures:

[nicodrawings]

Every once in a while I’ll find myself watching something that makes me go “wow, there was a whole group of people that came together to make something beautiful.” It’ll remind me of why I want to pursue animation. That’s how I feel about Craig of the Creek. I feel like I’ve already talked ad nauseam about my love of the show but I really just wanted to say thanks again to the creek crew for creating such a magical show. From storytelling, to writing black characters in such a humanizing, compassionate and loving way that warmed my heart. Words can’t even fully describe how much this show means to me.

To anybody who worked on the show if you read this. no matter how big or small your contribution was to the show, I hope you walk with pride in your heart knowing that you worked on something special. I wish you all nothing but the best moving forward.

This won’t be the last time I draw Craig and the creek kids lol but I wanted to take the time to draw what I think of when I think of cotc.

Truly, thank you for showing how beautiful life can be.

I’ll see you tomorrow at the creek ❤️

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I am not EVERY autistic person so this probably won't be a total coverage approach, but here's what I have learned:

People like to feel that you pay attention to and remember little but important things about them. And when someone is "small-talking" with you, it is often because they either want to offer you some of that info about themselves, or they want to pearn it about you so they can "return the effort". I think of it a bit like call and response with my cats! They don't understand me, and I don't understand them, but when I walk into the kitchen each morning, Lup runs towards me excitedly making her tiny little squeaks and trills. That's kitty small-talk! Many words of all varieties just say "I love you! I missed you! I'm happy to be here with you today!"

So I answer her! Sometimes I mimic her little sounds, and other times I pretend we're gossiping like church ladies (*gasp* NO, you're KIDDING, he said THAT?? What a scandal!") But whichever I do Lup gets excited and continues her little "conversation" with me.

People are harder. I had to really take time and practice different ways of responding before I found appropriate "call and response" for small talk, but I found that there are genuinely more options than you'd think. And the same thing happened! As I learned how to "call and respond" to small talk, I found that people would excitedly approach me to have it, and gradually we got to know each other enough that the "calls" coming from both sides got less general, more tailored to our personal preferences and interests, and I didn't have to small talk as much (but when I did it wasn't as scary either)

This isn't just my personal theory either! A fair amount of research in interpersonal/social in-group dynamics suggests that "bids for attention" like small talk function in this way of call-and-response intimacy/connection building. I have found that a LOT of social etiquette gets less scary to navigate when I at least understand the function of it. It also gave me some understsnding of why people might be hurt when I visibly don't WANT to "respond" to a "call" they've made: I'm the same way about my "calls" I just use different ones! The way I feel when I ask someone "would you want to hang out with me in the kitchen while I make lunch?" (Sad, a little anxious or vulnerable, maybe hurt if they've said no to a LOT of recent calls, etc) is the same way others feel when I decline theirs! That doesn't change if it was MISSED rather than DECLINED, but it can be repaired! Ao another thing I've taken to doing is naming for people the calls I have learned I'm most likely to miss. I know I have a hard time understanding/recognizing small talk as a call to attention, so I let people know that! And generally the people I connect best with are the ones who notice I missed a call and offer me an explicit/direct opportunity to reject it before internalizing what I've done as a rejection. This isn't really an option for everyone! And while I'm always delighted when someone is compatible with me in that way, I don't get upset if they're not, and work to not take it personally as something I'm doing wrong either.

Anyway, this got rambly at the end there, but the point is, most social interactions have a FUNCTION and while being autistic frequently means that we struggle to learn and interact in these systems as they currently exist, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we don't also depend on those functions. I think it can be easy to forget that part of the "disabling" effects of social/communication symptoms in autism is how it cuts us off from systems of support, care, and human interconectedness (things we still NEED) and it can matter to our quality of life to be able to find compatible alternatives to fulfilling those functions even if the original mechanism (small talk in this case) doesn't suit us.

Being bad at small talk doesn't mean you don't need friends, but it will probably make it very hard to MAKE friends. And we each and all deserve to decide for ourselves what to do about that.

I'm trying to figure out a good way to say "you really should actually learn the basics of small talk" with sounding like I'm biased against autistic people.

[suempu]

caleb blurbs because this text has me twirling my hair

-> minor spoilers for his interactions, jealousy (is it really a surprise atp lol), he's a bit petty, typical yandere caleb -> no pronouns used for the reader, not proofread (scratches head)

<3

yeah you might think he’s some kind of mean hard dom 24/7 (and he’s definitely capable of that based on the situation) but first and foremost, all he wants is to good for you.

caleb’s always been a giver. he’s someone you’ve relied on ever since you were both young and he’d be damned if you ever stopped coming to him for help.

he wants to drink your tears, eat your skin, and live from each beat and pump of your heart. everything about you consumes him, you're his entire world— of course he'd do anything and everything for you.

from every miniscule muscle twitch of your face, he can read and dissect whatever you're feeling and thinking. he prides himself in knowing about your wants and needs.

so how would he feel when he finds you strolling around Linkon with what looks like if a bunny grew human legs. he feels a twitch in his eye.

or when he hears your heartfelt laughter in Meows Cafe with a suspicious looking man with platinum hair, who looks far too serious to be caught in such a cutesy place. his hand curls into a knuckle, eager to interrupt your outing where it not for the look of your face. and for the fact that he died.

it happens numerous times, different occasions of him spotting you in the most random locations. his squad member talking about a recent gallery of her favorite artist, caleb's about to tell her off about work until he catches the sight of your figure on the photo of her phone.

caleb's shaking his head with a frown. he's gone. he's been dead for a year... and he finds out you've been frolicking the fields with these men. holding hands with these people as if his fake body wasn't buried deep into the ground of the cemetery you visit each week.

post homecoming wings, he's crashing the party no matter the place and time. he keeps up the charming and boyish, childhood best friend act and tries to compete with the others. he does not give a fuck, he'll do what it takes to make you realize that he's much more capable than your replacements.

"oh, and who might this be?" his smile is so shiny and bright as if his chest isn't bubbling with anger. caleb traps you with a side hug, arms resting against your shoulder. "don't remember you introducing this face to me yet, sweets."

you'd have to drag him away after that, nagging when you get home that he couldn't just try and intimidate every person he sees you hang out with.

he's crossing his arms, watching you pace around your apartment with a sour look on your face. he only smiles condescendingly.

"come on, they aren't even all that. its not that big of a deal, pip. if he can't handle it then.... i guess he's just not good for you."

he's gonna downplay shit while wearing the most trustworthy smile ever and you're not stupid enough to believe half of the stuff he's saying, leading to squabbles.

but if caleb's being honest... he loves that you're fighting back. it reminds him of your childhood arguments and he's relishing in every moment he can spend with you.

he's too proud and sure that your rightful place is in his arms. he's not even worried that you're defying him. that's how big his head is, he's not even worried. (spoiler, he is very worried.)

"hey, come over to mine, i cooked your favorite ;)"

throughout the meal, he'll act like a mom chastising your boyfriends. always criticizing them, questioning their motives. you huff and puff, defending your... friends(?) with a determined look on your face.

caleb reaches a hand out and wipes the corner of your lip. "got a lil somethin' there, sweets." he murmurs before licking his finger off, maintaining eye contact. "they take care of you right?" he half chuckles— half scoffs. "bet they don't even know how you like your food prepared." "caleb..."

but no matter, he'll let you spread your wings, run around with these boys to god knows where. he'll cement his place in your life, being with you ever since you've been kids, and the heavens will have to drag his bones to get him away from you.

you'll understand soon enough that in the end— its always and only going to be him.

[cavegirlpoems]

They Think Empathy Is A Sin Because They Worship Satan, Literally, Not Metaphorically: an esay.

OK so. I am going to do something inadvisable and make a lengthy post about something other than game design, because I can and I want to.

It's a long one. Like, extremely long. So, to avoid "Do you like the colour of the sky [gone quaker, gone tolstoy, christian anarchist edition]", here's a convenient break so you can scroll past if lengthy religious diatribes aren't your thing.

To begin with, some baselines. I am writing from a Christian perspective. More specifically, I would describe myself as a Liberal Quaker. To me, at least, this involves Christianity as a communal mystical practice, with unprogrammed worship (IE no clergy) and an entirely flat religious heirarchy. Values associated with this branch of religion include honesty, charity, humility and peace.

I adopted Quakerism as a religious framework because it was the one that worked for me. I was raised in, and still live in, a culturally Christian society; as such, Christianity provided a religious framework of symbols and meanings that I was culturally fluent with, whereas other faiths would have required a steeper learning curve since I lack that baseline familiarity. That said, I try to study and understand other religions: I would say that what I've learned of Islam and Budhism - while I'm far from an expert - have been valuable to me.

Politically, I lean hard to the left and hard towards anarchy/libertarianism. I would describe my politics as antifascist first, and then largely anarcho-communist after that, but I'm a pretty big-tent progressive. I'm also a british trans woman who keeps ending up voting Lib Dem for lack of better options, if that gives you any context.

Now, let's define some terms as I understand them and intend to use them. These are all metaphors or symbols, that we can use poetically to better articulate certain ideas. I use Christian imagery here, because that's what I'm fluent with; if I was instead fluent with Jewish or Daoist or some other religious culture, I'd be expressing my ideas with those symbols instead. So.

God: A manifestation/personification/symbol of absolute perfect goodness. God is Love. That is God is absolute unconditional love for all of creation.

Jesus/Christ: Jesus is a representation of God's love for us humans taking tangible effect. Jesus is a sacrifice God made on our behalf to rescue us from Sin. Jesus is inspired by the historical figure Yeshua of Nazareth, a 1st-century Jewish religious thinker who was quite popular and then executed by the Roman occupation.

Sin/Original Sin: Sin is simple, it's when we do bad things that hurt people. Since God loves all of us and doesn't want us hurt, God doesn't want us to Sin. Original sin is part of us; the fact that we are capable of Sinning simply because we're human.

Satan/The Devil: Satan is the force that urges us to Sin.

Heaven/Paradise: A state of goodness, where - since we have escaped sin and embraced God's wishes for us, we do not suffer.

Hell/Damnation: The state of rejecting God and personally embracing Sin, and therefore suffering.

When I talk about these things, I do not mean them in the literaly sense that a fundamentalist might. I do not believe that there is an actual literal guy called Satan who is red with stylish little horns and a goattee who spends all day tempting people and poking dead souls with a pitchfork.

Rather, these are social constructs. By way of analogy, gender and money are social constructs; they're concepts that have no inherent existence in a world that's ultimately just atoms and energy in a vacuum, but because we believe in them and lend them social weight, they gain power in our lives. In the same way the concepts of God, Satan, Sin, etc clearly effect the world. Saying 'Sin' isn't real is like saying your bank account isn't real; it has a tangible effect on the world, so it's useful to discuss it.

Does this mean that I think God, Sin, etc are just made up arbitrary symbols? No. I happen to believe in them. I happen to actively choose to believe in them, because I want to invest them with meaning in my life. This is why it's called 'faith' and not 'rational observation'. But even if they were purely arbitrary ideas, then I think that - like other purely arbitrary ideas such as 'human rights' and 'love' - they're worth believing in anyway.

Lastly, the Bible. I like the bible. It's an old historical text with some incredibly beautiful writing in it, that conveys some potent and meaningful messages. It is very obviously not an account of literal fact, but interpreted through a lens of metaphor or poetry it has a lot to teach. Not everything in it is perfect - it's a historical text that has been translated and retranslated repeatedly - but IMHO you can get a lot out of it, and its writers were, as a general rule, onto something.

You will notice that these ideas are wildly counter to the culturally conservative evangelical christian mainstream. They are, however, entirely unremarkable within the framework of liberal theology.

OK. These should be our base assumptions going in. Perhaps you disagree with them; if so, that's nice for you, but here I'm describing my worldview, not prescribing what yours should be.

It is perhaps notable that I've got this far in and only just finished defining my terms.

SO.

I have observed in the past that there are - effectively - two different, largely incompatible, religions both called Christianity. On the one hand, we have what I believe in, a belief structure that champions such virtues as mercy, forgiveness, peace and humility. On the other hand, we have the mainstream conservative evangelical christian right; this version of christianity values things like obedience, authority and (most of all) punishment.

These are fundamentally incompatible belief structures. As a stark illustration of this, consider what these two christianities want for wrongdoers. One branch wants them to repent, atone and be forgiven. The other wants them to be punished and suffer for their transgressions.

I am going to differentiate between these two beliefs. Because it's my essay and I'm on my side, I will call my beliefs Christianity, and the other side Christian Fascism.

I would argue that my values are more fundamental to the underlying message of Christianity (as derived from the teachings of that guy Yeshua I mentioned) than the other approach. In no particular order:

we have the parable of the prodigal son. Here, Yeshua teaches his followers that when somebody fucks up and then changes their mind, this is to be celebrated and they are to be welcomed back. The message of reconciliation and forgiveness is obvious.

we have the parable of the good samaritan. Again, the message is clear: we must seek to do right by even our enemies.

there are many other stories and teachings attributed to Yeshua with similar messages. Forgiveness and redemption are constant themes in his teachings. He praises the humble and the downtrodden consistently.

However, most importantly, we have the central facet of Christianity itself; the crucifixion. What happens here, and why?

God comes to earth as Jesus, and - after spreading his message described above - is publicly tortured to death in one of the most horrific execution methods available at the time. This sacrifice is made, knowingly, to absolve humanity of Sin. All of humanity. No exceptions. God loves us, He wants us to be forgiven when we sin, so he suffers and dies for us to offer us a way out.

It's right there. John 3:16: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." God loves the entire world so much that He made this sacrifice, so that whoever wants it can be saved. No exceptions. Whoever you are, God loves you, and sent Jesus so you can be saved if you want it.

This is the single central pillar on which the entire rest of Christianity is built.

So, yes. The 'no true scotsman' argument gets used in discussions around Christianity, but in this instance I firmly believe that it is, in fact, possible to say that somebody is doing Christianity wrong, because the central message of Christianity stands for something (mercy, redemption, charity, etc) and when somebody acts in opposition to that, then whatever they are doing is not christian.

(an analogy: suppose somebody called themselves a communist, but in practice they voted for right-wing parties, assisted the owning-class over the class interests of the workers, espoused anti-communist rhetoric, and never did anything communist. They could claim all they want: the truth remains that they are failing to be a communist through their actual behaviour. likewise any other set of principles).

So. Christianity is not Christian Fascism. Christian Fascism is, instead, fascism wearing christianity as a disguise. They are not, meaningfully, christian, they just want you to think they are. They might believe it themselves, even.

Another example: terfs. Terfs are transphobic bigots who appropriate the name of feminism to advance their transphobic agendas. They want you to believe they're feminists. They might believe they're feminists themselves. But the things they say, and do, and seem to believe are profoundly unfeminist, and feminism as a movement has a duty to reject them. That terfs wear the mask of feminism doesn't discredit the actual feminist movement.

It's idealogical parasitism. Hollowing out one ideology and wearing its skin to advance the agenda of a different, opposing ideology.

Fascists do this a lot because the actual things they want are straightforwardly evil, and being evil on purpose tends not to be popular until you're, like, super indoctrinated, so they use appropriate the language of other movements as a trojan horse.

To my mind, there is a fairly simple litmus test for these things. There are two groups in the Bible that we are repeatedly, consistently, unequivocably told to treat well. One is Widows. The other is Refugees. These two groups were hilighted by the writers for a reason; they're vulnerable demographics with fewer social connections to support themselves, who can easily be neglected or actively victimised by a society that doesn't make an active choice to support them. When Yeshua says "Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me", they are 'the least of these'.

Luckily, widows are not in the modern day at the centre of a huge culture war. Refugees, however?

So. A good litmus test. How somebody believes we should treat refugees, and immigrants more broadly. The message of the Bible is consistently to help foreigners who come to your country, to provide for them and help them settle. Jesus doesn't make any exceptions about visas or 'legal immigration' or contributing to the economy. He tells you in no uncertain terms that you must help refugees, always, every time. If you disagree with that... you're not a Christian, you're a Fascist appropriating Christianity.

(There is a massive discussion that could go here about the bible's position on sexuality, queerness, divorce, etc etc. I cannot be bothered with all that. The christian-fascist reading of these verses tends to get the most visibility, because the translations of the bible with the most visibility leaned into these interpretations. there are other interpretations and other translations that don't have these problems. I could go into more detail, but I have better things to discuss. Two key points:

the bible was written in societies where the family was incredibly reliant - socially and economically - on the husband's support. If the husband casts aside his wife and family, or stops giving a shit about them, they're totally fucked. This is the same society where 'do not let widowed women starve if they no longer have a husband to support them' is reiterated constantly. So, many admonishments against adultery etc should be read in this light: your family rely on you, do not abandon them. Many other passages - eg sodom & gomorrough - are likewise condemnation of things like sexual abuse.

more importantly, remember, the central message of christianity is one of absolute universal love so powerful that Jesus personally sacrificed himself to save us. All of us. 'The world' that God loved includes the gays and the divorcees etc. That central message takes precedent over any edge-case reading you might find that suggests that God's love has exceptions.)

There is an asymetry in public discussions of christianity (and, I think, religion more broadly).

If you have a set of beliefs that value everybody's intrinsic worth, that values considers charity and mercy good, that tells you to embrace foreigners and outgroups more generally, you will tend to the left. You will tend to adopt other left-wing ideas alongside it. Among these are ideas like cultural sensitivity, inclusivity, etc. If you believe Jesus commands you to embrace foreigners, then you will do your best not to reject them or their practices, even if they practice a different religion to you. This is doubled when christianity is a culturally hegemonic force, and you wish to do right by the meek and the humble who are being oppressed (often by that hegemonic force of christianity).

What this means is that on the left - where those following the message of Christianity properly should end up - there is an understanding that making explicitely Christian arguments is alienating and disrespectful to those you should have solidarity with. So, as a result of following (Christian) moral principles, the leftist Christian will generally not express their principles in explicitely religious terms, even when they could do so.

Not so on the right. The right doesn't have a problem with making the outgroup feel alienated or disrespecting them. Often, it quite likes this. So, they will use christian language to express their ideas.

So, even if both sides are balanced in numbers - heck, even if the christian fascists are significantly in the minority - the majority of people being vocally christian will be the christian fascists. And this presentation will reinforce the issue.

If this pattern continues within christian circles as well as in public forums - and it does in my experience - then this likewise gives the christian fascists a dispropportionate influence over what christianity becomes. So, it becomes important that in internal discussions, christian fascism be vocally opposed, and opposed in explicitely religious terms.

The fascists are not doing christianity. They do not speak for christianity, and they are not representative of the entirety of christianity. Their hollowing-out-and-puppetting of christianity to promote evil is itself an act of evil; people like this are why we have the word blasphemy.

Seeing somebody spewing hatred that results in actual, material harm to actual, real vulnerable people, and claiming that this is done in the name of Christ, is a profoundly horrific and perverse thing. It makes me feel ill to witness it.

(A further thought: traditionally, Christianity has held that Salvation is through both belief and works. That you must not only want salvation, you must act on it - which is to say, be a good person. If you claim to be saved but continue to willfully sin, that isn't good enough. So, christianity is what you do, not just how you label yourself. There is a correlation between discarding the belief in salvation by works, and christian fascism. John Calvin's spanner remains in the works to this day).

A thought on Idolatory. What is idolatory? In my view, the treatement of a man-made, worldly thing with the same reverence as holy things. If there is an object or symbol that represents a worldly, human thing that you insist must be treated with reverence and ceremony - as if it was holy - then you have made an idol of that thing.

You know, when I first learned about the way americans treat their flag, I was horrified. Because that flag is an idol. It is so obviously and clearly an idol, and yet. And yet.

Patriotism and nationalism - the revering of the state - is idolatory.

The way we fetishise cops and the military is idolatory.

Even discounting that these symbols are things that do horrific evil as their stated goals, you have taken a human thing - a political body - and treated it like its sacred.

When we consider that an Idol can be a concept or a structure, and not just a literal graven image, we start to see idolatory everywhere on the political right. This is, after all, the entire concept of 'civil religion'. The american founding fathers are not saints, the american constitution is not a holy text, and the american flag is not a holy relic, and the treatment of these things like they are is obvious and flagrant idolatory.

Read up on Tolstoy's thoughts on christian anarchism, as a logical end point of these ideas.

A little diversion on the Antichrist. I dont think Revelations is a literal predictive prophecy, I think it's a warning. It describes - through poetic and symbolic language - pitfalls the faithful might encounter, and encourages them to stand firm against them, and promises that however dire things get, good will triumph over evil in the end. It says 'things will get bad, here are some specific ways they might get bad, but you should hold onto hope'.

Who is the Antichrist in this text? It describes a type of person. Somebody wealthy and politically powerful, who achieves a position of global power and unifies disparate nations under his banner. He isn't christian, but he makes a pretence at piety and convinces the masses to treat him as a religious figure, even as he perverts and distorts religion towards his own hateful ends. He's supported by powerful cultural entities, and combined with his charisma this makes his ascent to power seem inevitable. He is utterly, utterly evil, but he also has really powerful branding that people willingly adopt. He will rise to power in a time of turmoil, sickness and widespread disasters.

Remind you of anybody?

His mark goes on the forehead and the right hand. The red maga hat, and the roman salute. I know I'm doing a paradoelia here, but surely I'm not the only one seeing this shape in the inkblots?

In times like these, I keep coming back to Revelations, and its message that even though things will get really bad, there is always hope, and God's love wins out in the end.

So. The christian fascists are not doing Christianity. They are not following Christ's agenda, which is one of universal love, mercy, and redemption. So, what are they doing, and whose agenda are they serving?

I think you see where this argument is going.

I have not discussed Satan much yet, because while I'm cogniscent of Satan's influence, my faith focusses on Christ; on mercy and redemption and fundamentally goodness rather than evil. But discussing satan becomes pertinent.

Satan is not simply a red guy with a goatee scheming to take over the world like Bible-Skeletor. Indeed, satan is not really a 'guy' at all; it's a tendency. It's the urge to sin, the temptation to not be your best self, or to be your worst self. Every time somebody pisses you off and you have that little spiteful urge to fuck them over? That idea is satan. Every time you want to take something for yourself when somebody else needs it more? Satan.

It is, I think, useful to have a concept of satan that you can personify, so you can (internally) argue against those urges.

Anyway. God loves us universally and absolutely, and wants us to flourish and prosper and do right by each other. Not doing that is Sin. So, here are some things that are sins:

the pursuit of material wealth and power at others expense (see; camels and needles, the meek and their inheritence, etc).

the defining of outgroups against whom cruelty is acceptably or encouraged.

the belief that some people are lesser; less deserving of God's grace and mercy, and so your own kindness too.

raising worldly human powers - states, laws, militaries, flags - into idols.

the - as established - blasphemous perversion of God's will towards evil ends.

These are pretty central patterns we see over and over again among the christian fascists.

They see the outgroup (queers, sluts, immigrants, muslims, people who get abortions, jews, leftists, and so on and so on) as lesser, as deserving of punishment, and they embrace the thought that God will punish them with eternal hell. (See that time pope franky said he hoped Hell was empty, and a lot of these people were furiously angry at the thought.)

They think 'prosperity gospel' isn't a blasphemous oxymoron.

They treat human authorities - cops, armies, nations - with reverence. They fucking love flags, they get extremely patriotic.

They take their hunger for power and their hatred, and they wrap it in the bible - they take God's name in vain - and sully holy things with their evil.

Plus, if we scroll back up to my tangent about the antichrist, there's a pretty good contender for the role currently, and they've embraced him whole-heartedly.

So, their worldview promotes sin.

And they are obsessed with the Devil.

But they don't see it as something they must struggle with; after all, they tend to reject the idea of salvation through works, and claim their saved because they're saved. According to them, rather than doing Christ's work making them christian, because they claim to be christian whatever they do - no matter how evil - retroactively becomes Christ's work. The things they do are good because it's them doing them, and the exact same things done by their enemies would be evil.

So they ignore that little satan-urge in their head, and displace it. They see Satan in everything else, in the outside world, in everything that isn't christian fascism. And then they do Satan's work, by seeking to punish the people they project this satan onto.

What does Satan want? He wants you to hate, he wants you to hurt others, and to profit at their expense. And their religion teaches them to hate and punish others and profit.

They serve satan. And they do it in the name of faith. They are clearly worshipping. So, who do they worship? They worship the one their actions serve.

That is to arrive at the thesis statement of this whole essay, and something I sincerely and wholeheartedly believe, in a literal sense:

the right-wing evangelical Christian mainstream worships and serves Satan.

And then what? I will confess, I am as fallible as any other human. These people - due to their hatred - hurt me and people I love. I am angry at them. I am incandescently angry at the things they do. There is a slippery slope leading from righteous indignation to hatred, and I am struggling emotionally to stay at the top of the slope, and not become actively hateful.

But rationally, how I want to feel? What my better self feels? I feel pity. Hell isn't a place with lots of bats and fire, it's seperation from God's love, and - even if they don't realise it - they turn away from God, and they suffer, and their spread their suffering. They are profoundly spiritually sick, and I want them to get better. I want them to fucking stop. I want them to step out of the dark place they've gone to and return to God's side, and to repent, atone for their actions, and find the same Mercy I want for everybody.

It's fucking hard to look at somebody who viscerally hates me for existing, and want them to recieve salvation, but I try.

I don't know how to fix them or save them. They don't want to be saved. They think our attempts to reach out to them are corruption. They think mercy is weakness and pity tempts you.

They warn each other not to give in to the sin of empathy. It's fucking heartbreaking.

[nestaians]

repeat after me: just because a man is seen to be a good, kind person by people, his family, does not mean he can’t be terrible or abusive to someone else

cassian is seen as a good person by feyre, by inner circle, they see him as a “good, kind hearted male” when;

cassian has constantly invaded nesta’s boundaries and harassed her

he has done it from their first meeting, back when she was human

nesta has repeatedly made it clear she does not want to be around him

“leave me alone” he does not

cassian has constantly refused to listen to nesta’s wants and needs

“i don’t want anything from you”

when she talks of how wants her ceremony and he thinks of his family’s opinions first

when she says to not call her with that nickname

cassian has constantly stalked nesta and been possessive over her

cassian has constantly pushed nesta’s buttons

because he sees interacting with her as a game rather than talking to her like a normal person

cassian has constantly said nasty stuff to nesta

“i don’t understand why your sisters love you”

“not eating won’t bring your father back”

the shackled line

cassian constantly reminds nesta of things he believes are her wrongdoing

feyre hunting

cassian has constantly pushed nesta to her breaking point

the nasty comments

the hike

cassian has constantly made what happened to or what nesta does about himself

when cassian learns of what tomas did

nesta rejects him and he thinks it’s because of his upbringing

nesta opens up and talks about her childhood and he thinks that’s what she wants, a prince and makes it’s about his own upbringing

cassian has constantly tried to make nesta do things she doesn’t want nor asked about nor consent to

accept his presence

be train her to be a warrior

to make weapons and be used to win wars for rhysand

be nicer to feyre for feyre

be a part of his family

cassian has constantly let nesta down

his promises to protect her

his promises to keep her safe

him agreeing to lock her up in HoW

him laughing at her when she falls down the stairs and is hurt

him putting mor first

him sucking rhysand’s dick and not standing up for nesta when his precious high lord wants to use nesta as a weapon or worse wants her dead, instead cassian punishes her

him never saying anything to stop his family from making jokes or comments about nesta -it’s worse when u remember she has opened up to him about herself

him never standing up for nesta

him never putting nesta first

but it’s poor cassian, right? nesta was mean to him, didn’t accept his gift and broke his heart🥺

“nesta does not deserve cassian” and that i agree with, because these people are right, she does not

she deserves better

why is it okay for nesta to apologise to cassian for her having boundaries?

why is it okay for nesta to be gaslighted into believing she was in wrong?

why is it okay for nesta to think she has to earn cassian and others love after being with him?

what about cassian sexualising her when she was unhealthy?

where does cassian having sex with nesta while being her main caretaker for her recover from drinking, fucking and her trauma and her being a vulnerable emotional state come into this? it’s called taking an advantage

how is nessian not an abusive relationship?

nesta deserves a better mate, a good partner and a healthy romantic relationship where she can feel safe and be truly happy

like she has with valkyries

but it’s never going to happen with cassian bc cassian does not love nesta, he does not even like her for who she is nor sees her as her own person -like inner circle

inner circle as a whole are abusive towards nesta

cassian loves the idea of nesta, a strong proud queen, and having a mate for “someone like him” (his words, not mine) aka he has a lot of unresolved issues and he projects them onto nesta

nesta was abused as a child, then neglected and let down by her father, then sa again and again (tomas, the cauldron, etc) and now is in a toxic environment, forced to be apart of a toxic family where no one actually is there for her and is stuck with a man who does not actually love her

free her!

to summarise: cassian may be a good, kind and perfect male in the eyes of his family, but he is abusive towards nesta. men like that exist IRL

[spirith0st]

We are often eager to reject horrors as inhuman and alien, and the reminder that they are not thus triggers very strong emotional reactions. Looking at the replies, a lot of people’s reactions to “everyone has the capacity to be a fascist” are “if you think that, it means you are uniquely a piece of shit.” That’s interesting to me.

I think it’s very important to remember that fascists are not untouchable icons of corruption. Hitler was not special, he was a person just like you and me. Do not obstinately misinterpret that as a statement of empathy. It is to say he was not some sort of monster from another dimension, not uniquely different, not larger than life. He committed those horrors whilst being human. He had artistic passions, he had friends and family, he was known to love animals and abhorred cruelty toward them, and he was still responsible for the torture and slaughter of millions of human beings. He never thought he was evil, he thought he was right. To reiterate for the reactive: this I say as the absolute opposite of absolution, as a reminder that this is in the real world, of how the reduction to narrative can allow ignorance, prevent us from learning from history. It is a terrifying thing to remember how real this was. And it is a great burden to acknowledge that evil was not born with nor did it die with him. That he rose in a system that favoured him, a system we still have. It turns my stomach.

Every fascist is a person. The capacity for evil is within all of us. It is a profoundly uncomfortable truth, but a truth that must be faced nonetheless.

Evil is insidious precisely because it makes you want to turn away, to other it. If you don’t acknowledge that evil is something that is made, and that you are capable of it, you will become fertile earth and it will take root. You are not above becoming a boiling frog. (Nobody starts off with genocide. You yourself may never end up with that degree of individual political power. But everybody starts off complacent, afraid, selfish, and everybody is capable of incubating and spreading fascist ideology, of aiding its infection. Fascist rise to power requires a culture that has primed itself for it. That has obeyed in advance. It happens slowly, then all at once.) You are not rejecting fascism by simply not choosing to pursue it: in turning away from your discomfort, you no longer know your enemy, you can no longer identify it. To reject fascism we have to look it in the eyes. We have to kill its seeds. It’s an action. We have to stand in our discomfort. We have to examine that discomfort, lest it become leverage for cruelty and ideology.

Yes, the capacity for fascism came free with your brain. You are closer to it for rejecting the notion. We mustn’t look away.

“harry is irredeemable because he has the capacity to be a fascist” EVERYONE HAS THE CAPACITY TO BE A FASCIST DICKHEAD IT CAME FREE WITH YOUR FUCKING BRAIN

[tododeku-or-bust]

https://www.tumblr.com/tododeku-or-bust/744837858426339328/yes-nonblack-people-can-reblog-id-appreciate

i apologise if i come off as rude and i know it’s not black fans’ responsibility to educate white fans. but as a white fan, what do you think white fans can do to fight racism in fandom spaces? because even when i stumble upon something that reads to me as racist, i don’t know if it’s my wrong interpretation as a white person and if i should say something or be quiet. /gen

I have a reblog in that post that answers this question, but that post is now at least 150k strong with only half really getting the point and I'm not scrolling that long so 😅 I'll just say it again.

(the post was about BLACK PEOPLE. So I'm going to discuss antiblackness, bc that's who I was talking to)

1. Actually share community with Black people!

Half the reason people "don't see" antiblackness when it's happening is because you're not around any Black people in your fandoms to begin with. So when you see what is inevitably racism, you probably dismiss it as "drama" because that's what the racists (!) around you are framing it as. If you actually saw the responses from the party being wronged, you'd learn what to look out for when it happened. And even if you weren't confident, someone that IS confident could use the support- bc they're gonna be far meaner to that Black fan than they'll ever be to you! But ofc you don't see racism when there are conveniently no Black people around you to point it out. Bc trust, there is no fandom space- no space period- free of it. So... Try listening to the Black people that ARE in your spaces! Support their voices, so that you can start fighting that fight on your own!

2. Think about how much antiblackness you let slide, and try to be active about not doing so!

One of the hardest things for me to swallow is not usually the OG racist poster, but the thousands of people who usually agree with them, and then the tens of thousands of others who might not agree, but continue to support that person otherwise because antiblackness is not a deal breaker for them! You might think you're a friend to Black people, but based off the people you hang around... probably not! And we see that!

So you'll watch someone be mask-off antiblack, but "oh their art is so good though" or "but I love their LGBTQ/fandom takes" yeah okay so I see that I am not a part of the safe community that you value or picture, got it.

You have to actually ask yourself, consistently- because antiracism is an active thing, it's decisions you make- "is this thing I'm participating in worth the antiblackness I'm allowing?" Sometimes you're gonna say yes. But if you find yourself saying "yes" far more often than you're saying "no", it's time to admit that you're not being antiracist 😅 and if that identity actually means anything to you, you'll have to start making some better choices!

So, is this person's cool art worth them being a whitewasher? Is this video game series worth the creators being racist? Is this musical worth the racist stereotypes it's perpetuating? Is this person's otherwise cool politics worth them treating Black people like shit? Is being seen as a racist worth keeping me safe in this fandom (that would treat me horribly if I didn't? Are they really my community, then?)? Is my temporary entertainment worth more than someone's humanity?

I think when we choose to be honest with ourselves, and are willing to ask ourselves questions like that, we might recognize just how much control we have over our own racism, and at least how we can minimize our own harm. Bc you can only control you! And you don't have to do or allow the things you allow!

3. Call it out!

I don't think everything warrants a call out. But, sometimes y'all got to be willing to say "hey, this isn't cool, dude". The whole "1 Nazi, 9 patrons, 10 Nazis" thing. I have a post about it somewhere on the CBC page 😭 But yeah. Sometimes things will be right in y'alls faces and you say nothing. And all that does is encourage others with those same beliefs to show up and think that you're okay with them. I really do wish that when you were confident, you spoke up. Or at least told your peers in private "hey, such and such did this antiblack thing and it made me uncomfortable so I'm not going to support them anymore". SOMETHING.

[cheschesterpossum]

First I want to say that I hope you’re feeling better, I can definitely relate to school taking a toll on my mental health (exams are a bitch). This AU gets my gears turning and I wanted to give some ideas for CITF for you to maybe look at when you are felling better. These are completely random and mostly unrelated to each other and in no particular order. I hope you enjoy!

Humans are only slightly shorter than cybertronians, when humans put the Cybertronians in their little pocket universe they made it so that the Cybertronians were bigger then everybody else, why? Because it’s funny. So when a human visits Cybertron they are the size of an average Cybertronians.

Humans or Y/N view Cybertronians as their children, as well as Primus AND Unicron. So if a scenario where the Lost Light has a human on board and they come across Unicron it’s going to be really weird for the crew because the human liaison is threatening Unicron with time out if he keeps doing what he’s doing (idk eating planets or smth) while Unicron is pouting and whining that he isn’t a kid anymore. While this exchange is happening the crew of the LL is both confused and horrified that this human is telling their version of Satan that they’re going to put them in time out.

The 13 original Primes where the only Cybertronians that knew Humans created them and since the Matrix of Leadership contains the knowledge of the past Primes this mean that Optimus knows that humans created his species.

Cybertronians were created as the next evolution of human robotics. The original 13 Primes were created to see just what they could do with the newly developed technology that was used to make Rung.

Scraplets act like dogs and/or cats around humans.

Every Cybertronian when they see a human and/or Y/N(The creator of their species) they subconsciously recognize them.

the reason why many Cybertronian alt modes have seats, steering wheels, cockpits, etc. is because they were originally made for human use.

I’m in the process of thinking about more stuff especially lore so I wanted to share some of my ideas.

OMG YES YES, THESE ARE AMAZING I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE SHARE THEIR IDEAS WITH MEWIHDSUSENHEJ-

Im doing better now dw:) and also thank you so much for these lovely brilliant ideas, im stuffing these into the AU no exception!!

I really like the idea of human being the same size as cybertronians in this AU, I've been thinking about for a long time actually. Also if we're the same size, that mean we're practically giants compared to everyone else in the pocket universe (aside cybertronians). Their alt-mode having seats, steering wheels, cockpit, ect also make so much sense as they're originally made for human's use. IT'S ALL COMING TOGETHER.

When imagining y/n and Unicron, i thought of that one scene in Adventure Time where Finn ground Ice King, i could see this totally happening lolol. The Lost Light, beside Rung prolly, are flabbergasted.

Scary robot Satan getting put in time out- actually, y/n putting both Primus and Unicron time out whenever they argue. Great, just great.

The 13 Primes being created using the same tech that was used to make Rung/Primus, the only few cybertronians knew of their species roots, those who obtained the Matrix of Leadership will be passed on the knowledge.... humans..humans originally created the Matrix? The Allspark?

Hnggggggggg-Domesticated Scraplets go brrrrrr, they're like tiny dogs/cats. Cybs be looking horrified as we pet those metal-eating pest that destroyed cities. Building an army of Scraplets and commanding them, i have no doubt some of you out there would try it. Shi, it'll be like minions and gru/j.

The bots getting that faint feeling of connection, they can't exactly put their digits onto it but it's there. It scares some and intrigue some, but they're all drawn to it in some way. What is it about these fleshies that feels... different? Yet familiar at the same time? Who are we to them?

Slowly, subconsciously, as if a long buried forgotten instinct surfaces. They started to listen more intently when we talk, when we indirectly or directly ask for something they fetch it for us, ect. It feels... right, like something clicked. It feels so right when we touch them, a small accidental brush, a handshake, or a friendly pat.

Before they knew it they started craving it, they feel like they lost their purpose when we're gone (like a vehicle being abandonded, left to rust and fall apart through time). It's scary and it's as uncanny as how much they yearn for a human's touch-

Im going insane.

[k4txlulzz]

people mischaracterizing aven to be crude, pushy, perverted, manipulative in a purposefully mean way never fails to make me VISCERALLY angry because yall know damn well that wifie is the most demure, elegant and gentle person in reality AND he is good with kids PLUS he literally is put up against a fucked up hologram of himself(that actually kinda resembles some fanon versions of him) and proceeds to openly express his dislike towards it . HE DESPERATELY CLINGS TO HIS HUMANITY AND SAYS THAT HE HASNT CHANGED😭LOOK AT THE WAY HE TREATS KID KAKAVASHA LIKE ??? GENTLY SMILING WARMLY AND SHIT ?? THE WAY HE ACTUALLY WANTS TO BE GENUINE FRIENDS WITH PPL AFTER THE QUEST ?? HOW HE LOOKS OUT FOR TOPAZ AND JOKES WITH RATIO ???

have some folks even seen or read the cutscenes man . like dont claim to like aventurine and then turn around and proceed to misinterpret him in the most insulting ways like i assure you that man is not nearly as GENUINELY and REALLY fucked up as you think . he has so many like . normal chill moments that show his human side and those just get brushed off ; I AM NOT BABYING HIM OR SANITIZING HIM AT ALL !! he is still morally gray and i love that, just wish that people saw ALL of him and the sweet, genuine aspects too cuz they are very obviously there

again this genuinely makes me upset because i think aven is an admirable person despite his obvious flaws and his heartwarming caring, affectionate, playful or generally human traits like pettiness are ignored ALL THIS TO SAY HE DESERVES BETTER😞 i looove him so much he is so comforting

[starberry-cupcake]

I'm trying the post-it method and it's really messy but, if it helps, I'll keep it up, because I feel like live-reading doesn't help me out with processing this as much as going back on notes does...god, I sound like palmolive...

previously, in nona del 9:

this happened

this is the general tag for all the recaps I've done

CHAPTER 8 (third house skull, which, I guess, but tangentially)

sriracha girlie from school is still on the case and asks nona to up her game in the surveillance task and pretend she's on a radio call

she doesn't elaborate but I doubt it'd help nona understand much anyway if she does

she's just happy to help

nona has to put little boots in the six-legged dog's feet before going out into the scorching heat, though

it's the summer here, so I feel you, noodle

(bonus info: our new puppy apparently has been aptly named because she has 0 fear and is trying to jump into the pool head first like a maniac)

so nona, because she has no preservation skills either, just like our puppy, thinks is a good idea to pretend like she's talking to coronabeer

she still calls her "crown", but it doesn't make me feel any more ok with her pretend calling coronabeer of all people

wasn't she with BOE and whatnot? what if the enemy is listening?

she invites her to her birthday party on the beach

and I might be too cautious but I know better than to share so much information in the wild outdoors where someone could listen

like 'I'm gonna be in this location at this day, please come steal from me or whatever'

maybe it's just my latine self talking, but be careful out there

how do they trust this girl to not be a hazard on her own?

she's like 8 years old

oh, great, I sound like mercygirl now

nona starts drowsing off and a bible chapter comes in, which people have told me is her sleeping

gonna remind everyone I didn't find that out on my own

that's not a victory for me

JOHN 15:23

"Whoever hates me hates my Father as well" is the bible verse in this one

well, then

I haven't read the bible this much since I was in my second school (out of 4)

so here we are again with dr. reverend emperor john buttface's monologue

there's a distraction tactic possibility to get him killed, if we ever need one

he mentions the eye color change as things get weird with their experiments

and says cassiopeia?? potentially? or cyrus? told him he looked like edward cullen "from that old movie twilight"

like I'm not gonna clock dr. reverend emperor john having read twilight with his own two changing eyes

so dr reverend emperor john the menace and his terrible lyctors start doing awful things to the corpses that aren't rotting

allegedly due to dr reverend emperor john "loving them"

whatever that means

and the corpses remain undamaged

what I'd like to point out here is that these people are deranged and god awful even when they hadn't been 25 million years old

this is them brand new from the package and they're all either terrible or complicit in being terrible

I think cassiopeia is the only one visibly suffering but still, man

these people were always like this, this isn't some "we've been out in space so long we've lost touch with our humanity"

happy out of touch thursday, this is you, this has always been you

dr reverend emperor john starts talking about touching the corpses' hands and feeling them even when they aren't there with him

mercygirl is doubting his sanity

yet still they all followed him to hell, so who's crazier here

they picked two corpses, a guy and a gal, to make more specific experiments on, and he named them ulysses and titania

titania after the shakespeare character

ulysses not after the greek hero

and by controlling their hands from across the room I guess they discover necromancy

he's still talking to harrow through all this

CHAPTER 9 (sixth house skull, but at what cost?????)

sriracha girle tells nona that, after her imaginary phone call with coronabeer, the ceaseless watcher left the building

literally

nobody knows what this means but sriracha girlie is still on the case

then they start hearing shots outside and everyone has their safety precautions but they're all bored about it instead of afraid

wish this was just a fiction thing and not the current world

so everyone gets picked up except for sriracha girle, as ush

camilla comes to pick up nona from school and gets pastries (aka facturas, where I'm from)

camilla is doing the lord's work here

she got them by selling out pyrrha's cigarettes, apparently, which I find a great exchange but I don't smoke, so I'm obviously team facturas

then, we get a nona flashback from a month prior, about the Event which prevents them from going swimming anymore

they used to go to the sea at dusk to have some private time with the water

and by them I mean nona went swimming, because the sea is filled with deadly jellyfish, so they'd kill a regular person, but not nona

she can swim with the jellyfish, which sounds beautiful, actually

the whole swimming description is so relaxing and beautiful and I am hating this heat but I'm grateful for the swimming opportunity it provides

swimming is great

swimming with jellyfish without dying must be great

relaxing moment for 3.5 seconds for everyone

of course things can't be relaxing for too long, this is tlt we're talking about

nona sees some people surrounding camilla and guesses it must be the police

which, in every universe, is a Problem

tons of police men surrounding one woman, yeah, doesn't look great

but I was fine because this is camilla fucking hect we're talking about

no cops at pride, just camilla and knives

nona can't hear their conversation but, at one point, she can hear camilla say "speak House"

which ??????????????????????'

doesn't sound good AT ALL

nona sees one of them pointing a gun and warns camilla, which earns nona a shot through the shoulder

so then, when nona resurfaces, she finds everyone lying motionless and camilla squatting on the sand

and I was like "of course my baby did that"

but then nona looks at her and she's got one camilla eye and one palmolive eye

and is talking like camolive is some sort of dragon ball fusion

they ask nona not to freak out

I'm freaking out

camolive's timer starts going like crazy and they ask nona to drive them home

camilla comes back to herself at this point BUT

she's bleeding everywhere

like, blood coming out of her skin

it's everywhere

nona asks her to get palmolive but camilla says they can't

so nona has to drive them home in the middle of the night with the blood and the salty water and the potential police following

nona thankfully can manage and pyrrha says camilla is in thanergy shock

she says they can never do that again and that if palmolive wasn't sharing a body with her, she'd be kicking his ass

AND I WOULD BE TOO

PALMOLIVE, I SAID IT LAST RECAP, MAN

YOU HAD ONE JOB

KEEPING CAMILLA SAFE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING??????

camilla asks them to not tell palmolive she was "weak"

pyrrha drinks in camilla's honor while she's recuperating and nona asks her why she said goodbye to her if she's gonna be fine

to which pyrrha asks how does she know she was saying goodbye

basically, camilla is not dying but she's also not fine

which I got from the very heavy bleeding, thank you very much doctor pyrrha

if something happens to camilla I swear to whatever god that isn't the monologuing prick in the sleeping chapters I'm gonna go feral

PALMOLIVE I'M GOING TO CHASE YOU DOWN

AND THAT'S IT FOR THIS RECAP!!! I think the post its system is better for me?? I'll figure it out as I go. See you on the next one!!!

[thiamswh0re-jpg]

SPN as New Girl quotes:

-

*dean was caught using sam’s towel*

sam: how do you think this is your towel? do you even wash it??

dean: no?? i don’t wash the towel, the towel washes me. who washes a towel? what am i gonna do next, wash the shower?

sam: you never wash your towel?! let me ask you this- have you also been wearing my underwear?

dean: sometimes yeah.

sam: *gags*

-

jack: we’re a family… families talk about things.

dean: no. families ignore things until they go away.

-

dean: you consider me a sexy man, correct?

cas: i don’t know how to answer that question-

-

dean: you treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol… you treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.

sam: …

-

*that time cas got cleaned up after coming back from purgatory*

dean: *blushing* wow, i forgot what you look like when you’re not dressed like the purgatory troll-

cas: pardon?

dean: sorry i didn’t-

cas: …

dean: what i mean to say is you look va-va-va-vavooms!

sam: ??

dean: hello, nurse!

cas: …

dean: hubba bubba!

dean: meow! zing!

dean: you can stop me anytime…

-

sam: why do you always wanna see the worst in people?

dean: because people are the worst.

-

sam (refusing a desert at a diner): i’m not really a dessert person.

dean: *side eye*

-

sam: we know rowena better than you.

gabriel: false! when you’ve had sexual congress with someone and you’ve peered into their soul at the exact moment of fulfilment-

sam: ew?!

dean: no, no- let’s hear him out-

-

cas: dean i want you to have these five dollars.

dean: …what?

cas: buy yourself something special, like a burrito.

dean: …

dean: i love burritos-

-

dean: you’re a woman and a lesbian… which makes you… well, a va-genius.

charlie: …

-

dean: he will believe anything.

jack: that’s not true, dean-

dean: my real name is daniel.

jack: it is!?

dean: NO!

-

*human cas era*

cas: i refuse to pay for the wiffy

sam: … it’s wi-fy.

-

*dean selling his soul*

dean: aw, are you worried about me, sammy?

sam (completely done): yes. i’m a little worried about you.

-

dean: i might be an expert in love. Like a- you know, like a love doctor, if you will-

sam: i will not.

dean: …

sam: you are the least qualified person to call themselves a doctor of love.

-

*cas comes to dean for sex advice*

sam: just relax, be yourself, you’re awesome. why are you asking dean?

dean: because, sam, look at your hair. you really don’t look like someone who’s good at sex.

sam: i can’t believe you-

-

sam: i don’t need to take relationship advice from a guy who’s in a seventh grade debacle with an angel across the hall!

dean: *shocked*

sam (mimicking dean): “OH NO! i’m a single adult who’s into another single adult! what’s gonna happen?! i better go pick out an outfit because i only wear cartoon underwear!”

dean: when you question my scooby underwear, you question our entire brotherhood!!

sam: SHUT UP-

-

dean: did cas just tell me he loves me?

sam: yup…

dean: …

dean: and did i do finger guns at him?

sam: yup.

-

cas: you care about your pie more than about my child, dean?

dean: you’re putting me in a really tough spot-

-

[yv0nn1e]

"we were born to a world with dead ends."

gravity — rafayel

summary: to be betrayed in one timeline, to find out the truth in another, and now, to seek revenge in the current.

pairing: rafayel x non!mc fem!reader

cw/tw: angst? mean reader, some twists from the myths and the actual lore itself.

note: an alternate version of my backburner rafayel fic where instead of falling in love with rafayel, reader gets angry when she realizes lemuria's fall is actually because of rafayel.

word count: 2k+

non!mc reader who remembers the excruciating pain of losing her life in every single timeline where rafayel was involved.

non!mc reader who, in the current timeline and at eleven years old, starts to get flashbacks of her past lives, not knowing what they were until the memories fill each other in as she matures. the older she gets, the more refined those visions become, until she reaches the age of fifteen where a rough vision of rafayel, her beloved, gives up his heart, and lemuria for this strange yet certainly unforgettable girl. non!mc reader who, realizes that she might have died at rafayel's hands— that lemuria fell under rafayel's sacrifice and love.

non!mc reader who, at fifteen, decides to walk away from the sea and from her dearest friend who, she now knows, had betrayed their people in their past lives. she goes to land with her aunt, finding solace in her passion for acting and the dramatics. rafayel had tried to stop her, or at least, get him to accompany her yet he could never forget the underlying anger that had filtered her eyes.

"you're really leaving? but why?" rafayel asked. he wasn't sad, not exactly. perhaps just a tad bit melancholy at the thought of his truest friend walking away, leaving him all alone to face the pressure of the sands and seas all by himself.

"i can't achieve anything here." she replies, the duality of the meaning behind her words floating above rafayel's head. she can't achieve anything if she stays right where she had always been after all these years, after all these lives: right next to rafayel. she will be bound to the same ending if she stayed any longer.

they bid each other goodbye, and non!mc reader was more than ready to start a new life. perhaps, if she stayed away from rafayel, if she had stayed away from lemuria, then she cannot befall the same painful fate that she would during her previous lives.

non!mc reader who physically and internally experiences the actual pain of the lemurians' sufferings in her past lives whenever she would get a vision despite the fact that she had already stirred far far away from the sea.

her aunt talia looks at her worryingly as non!mc reader sits on the plush of the luxurious couch, her hand in her chest as she took in deep breathes— each and every inhale activating that painful tightening in her chest, the same sensation of internal stabbing.

"did you get another vision?" talia asks, her soft and delicate fingers rubbing non!mc reader's back. the girl could only nod as she takes one last deep breath before slumping her back towards the headboard of the couch.

"how much longer will i have to endure this? do you even get visions like mine too?" non!mc reader chokes out as she takes a glass of water. her aunt talia visited her on set today. it had been long since non!mc reader had decided to live above water and join the humans. she's an adult now, in her twenties, and a successful young actress at that.

"dearest, you know i don't. we've spoken about this. you're— you're different." talia says in a hesitant tone. these two have tried to figure out the root of non!mc reader's visions, how do they happen, and why they're happening in the first place. but nothing. they have nothing. the only thing they were certain about was the fact that the visions are highly implied to be true. the tales and myths about lemuria align with the visons and flashes.

"perhaps, there is a reason that you, out of everyone, has been bestowed such gift." talia comforts, a gentle pat glides over non!mc reader's shoulder blades.

she could only scoff. "this is no gift. this is a curse."

non!mc reader who falls into shock as she stumbles upon a familiar purple set of hair on a tall figure during a banquet. could it really be— "yn!" her name rolls off his tongue so softly, gently. all so familiar and nostalgic that for a second, non!mc reader forgets that the man whom her love transcended one life over another for had been the cause of her impending doom.

"rafayel?" she minds his presence. he looked a lot older than she'd last seen him. he was a lot taller, his lean figure built stronger with grown muscles, his aura being more elegant and confident. and yet, she questions whether or not he had changed. "what are you— why are you here?"

he tells her that he's settling in linkon for a while. he says that he's got a lot of business advocates and opportunities to stumble upon the city as he pursues his artist career. he then reveals to her that he too had left the sea not long after she had gone, saying something about how the sea's weight felt a little too heavy under ground.

"does it really get easier up above the water?" she throws the question out rhetorically as they find themselves in a secluded seating area of the banquet.

rafayel wasn't dumb. surely, he felt the venomous tone in her voice or the unwelcoming glare from her gaze. he wishes it would be his mind playing tricks on him but the more he stares deeply into her eyes, the more he feels as though something was not right between him and his dearest friend.

"i don't really think so." he replies to her rhetorical question.

one thing about non!mc reader is that she isn't entirely certain that her snarky remark wasn't applicable to her. over the years, she often doubts whether or not trying to escape her home was better for her.

the both of them stare at each other. one pair of eyes gazing at the other's figure filled with confusion and nostalgia. wondering where he went wrong or if he had done something wrong. the other set of eyes staring in regret, unsure of whether or not joy or anger should control her thinking as of the moment.

the silence was louder than ever, until it was interrupted with that even louder ringing in non!mc reader's ears, that stabbing pain becoming stronger— probably the strongest she's ever felt as every fiber of her being was aching.

and yet she was too stubborn to let a slither of her vulnerability and truth slip past the cracks of her facade.

"i have to go." she tries to say confidently or rather, in a more composed way as she stood up, grabbing her purse and clenching her chest with her free hand which earned her a concerned and confused gaze in rafayel's face.

"are you okay? i can take you—"

"im fine, rafayel." she insists, pushing past him as he stood up to reach her.

"it was certainly something to see you again." she coughs out a fake scoff as she takes one step forward, only for a gasp to slip past her lips when her ankles bend, cause her whole body to not only pulse in excruciating pain, but to fall.

she feels the pain take her away from consciousness, a flash of white turning into a silhouette of a younger boy, his hair the same shade of violet as rafayel's, his voice more playful, as the image of her childhood in the prosperous kingdom of lemuria in a previous life takes place in her mind for a while, but the realization did not go unnoticed.

no, it does not get easier above water. as long as gravity exists, the weight of the world will always pull you down to the ground where one must acknowledge the truth.

non!mc reader who realizes that the pain she feels whenever she gets visions started when she left the sea.

she finds herself waking up in a bed of soft silk and fluffy pillows. this wasn't her home, the ambiance was rather softer and cleaner as the sun's rays painted dawn against the windows.

"you're finally awake." she gets taken out of her trance as she turns her head to the doorway, a smiling rafayel leans against the frame of the door. "you good now? maybe next time, don't insist that you're fine when you're not."

"what?" she's confused. she's never passed out from a vision before. sure, at first the pain was unbearable, but years of endurance has built her some kind of immunity or rather, suppressants that makes the ache less painful.

"you had a really high fever last night. what's worse is that, the tides weren't even low. we don't usually get that sick but i guess you're just a bit helpless without me, yeah?" rafayel teases as he brings her a tray of food and medicine. she stares at him in awe, that buried affection for him attempting to break past the cracks, but she does not let it go.

non!mc reader starts to see clearer visions now that rafayel is back in her life. with the added age and maturity, the flashes are longer and less vague. so when the moment a full vision of what happened during the sea god's ceremony played, anger resurfaces her mind.

non!mc reader who swore to avenger herself and lemuria, her beloved land. which is why, when rafayel introduces his new bodyguard, she immediately knew that she was the sea god's bride. that rafayel's miss bodyguard had his heart. literally.

and if it was what's needed to restore lemuria, she would stop at nothing to have it in her hands.

non!mc reader who is staring as the main lead in a new linkon tv series that depicts a tale about an ancient underwater civilization called lemuria. she could only laugh hysterically at her role. was she really playing the role of the sea god's bride? the sole thing she could never be in whatever universe or timeline she was in? oh how destiny loved to mock her.

non!mc reader who asks rafayel for help, feigning vulnerability and saying that she needed his bodyguard too, saying something about her old bodyguard going away for a while, even offering to pay double what rafayel was paying her.

non!mc reader who takes this chance to let her suppressed anger over the centuries and lifetimes that have passed out. it started with complicated coffee orders to fetch then upgraded to delivering her wardrobe, only to accuse miss bodyguard of practically sullying the dress with her reckless actions. in general, just treating her like the worst. miss bodyguard could quit whenever she wanted but rafayel had asked her so persuasively to induldge in non!mc reader's request since she was one of his closest friends.

non!mc reader who gets attacked by one of her visions, the pain stronger than what she assumed was the strongest attack when she met rafayel in that banquet before. what's more severe was that she could practically feel and hear the screams in her more recent visions.

non!mc reader who is sick and tired of suffering the regrets of the past, tired of carrying the weight of a future that is clearly telling her to take responsibility. so, one day, she flat out says to rafayel to do something about lemuria. to take his heart back, to end his people's sufferings. and yet, rafayel, like in all those visions she would see and remember, only replied with the same thing: that there would be other ways.

non!mc reader who damns it all, never stopping at one ask to convince rafayel to take his heart back. every chance she could, she would try to bring it up with rafayel which results into the man questioning his bestfriend's eagerness. she wasn't usually like this. she was never this insistent. despite the rejections, non!mc reader is thankful that rafayel was asked to be an illustrator in her new project because it makes it easier for her to bother him to own up to his responsibilities.

yn lets out an exhausted sigh as she looks at herself in the mirror. this costume was ridiculous, she thinks, as she analyzes the decor of the dress— the director said it would be a close-to-accurate replica of lemurian bridal attires. her top, a delicate yet structured piece, bared her midriff, emphasizing her poise, while bands of gilded accents traced the contours of her shoulders and arms. a flowing sash, transparent like morning mist, hung from her waist, its shimmering fabric embellished with ornate patterns that mirrored ancient symbols of wisdom.

fuck, they were right. it was close to accurate. so much so that non!mc reader starts to pity herself, thinking that the only moment she would have gotten to dress up like a true lemurian bride would be in a show, a fictional, unrealistic series that depicts the story of her beloved and the other woman he had chosen and would choose in every other life.

she steps out of the dressing room, the staffs getting the scene ready as the director yelled out orders. rafayel was with his bodyguard in a corner, discussing with the other illustrators what to do or add into the scene to make it more vibrant.

"it's a wedding scene, it's supposed to be colorful." he rolls his eyes, his bodyguard chuckling in amusement at his sulking. non!mc reader wonders how the producers even got the rafayel to agree to being part of the project. initially, she would've thought that rafayel thinks they would sully the lemurian culture and tale itself and yet, here he was, ever so passionate in the intricate coloring of the set.

"honestly, these people look like they're trying to disrespect the lemurian legacy—" rafayel stops speaking as he turns around, only to be met with non!mc reader in that traditional wedding gown. she looked certainly beautiful in it, he could not deny that. in fact, it looked rather fitting on her, as if she was meant to wear it.

she was currently distracted, practicing her lines with her partner in the show so rafayel's gaze goes unnoticed.

non!mc reader who has to poorly go through a physical and actual demonstration of how the end of lemuria was met because of this stupid show that somehow, got every detail accurately correct.

the way her limbs trembled at the set, the lines, and the impending remembrance of what was to happen after the ceremonial scene in the story. her terror was so obvious that her stutter and shaking figure immediately warned the director and everyone else that something was wrong.

the recreating of the scene in a different perspective terrified her so much, the trauma of reliving that kind of pain and watching it replaying in her mind. the fear was strong enough to trigger another vision, clearer than ever.

"excuse me. i'll be back." she manages to speak, immediately running back to her dressing room to handle the pain all by herself.

non!mc reader who has never told rafayel about the visions. the only person who knew about them were talia and herself. so one could only imagine the feeling brewing in rafayel's guts when rushes to open the door of her dressing room, only to see the actual pain his yn has to go through. all alone. all by herself.

it only then hits him. this must be why she had been so insistent on taking his heart back. this must be why she had left. why she had been so distant— why she acted the way she did.

she was angry at him. albeit, she was literally hurting because of the actions, the bond, the devotion he had sacrificed and given away.

his beloved yn was suffering because of him.

in every universe, he would give his heart to his love, causing him the loss of his kingdom and his entire being. in every universe, non!mc reader has to endure the physical manifestation of the regressing feeling of neglect and abandonment from the one true person that holds her protection in his hands.

in every universe, they were always bound to be met with dead ends.

[clarkscurl]

in times like these I like to remind myself to prioritize my happiness when I can, let myself know that there are things in my life that I can control and to do the best I can to help improve the things I cant

I have so many plans for my life and I know that I can get them, yeah it might be hard, yeah it probably wont be some quick fix but I'll get there. call it delusional or whatever but I know it will get better

no you aren't a bad person for taking a step back and pouring positivity and love into yourself, if you constantly put a whole worlds worth of responsibility on yourself you're doing more bad than good (I speak from experience)

and I just hate hearing and seeing people notice something about a situation and immediately say "we're cooked" like nah we aren't. yeah it may seem like it when you're constantly having things like that thrown in your face but please... and I mean please put yourself first and do what makes you happy as well as doing what you can to help improve your local community

it is not your job to save the world at all and I will stand on that but I also stand on the fact that you can always help improve the world in small ways (do your research!), please continue to keep creating, please continue to be different with your style, presentation, and just overall expression. please continue to love what you want to. please continue to be human.