#I love reading them about as much as I enjoy drawing these ^_^

[svtiddiess]

Suppressed Desires

Synopsis: Jeonghan is your first everything—your first kiss, your first date, your first boyfriend—and now, you want him to be your first in every way. But every time you try to take things further, he seems to pull away. Doubts creep in, making you wonder if he doesn’t find you attractive. But he’s quick to show you that’s not the case.

Pairing: Jeonghan x afab!reader

Genre: smut, fluff, established relationship

Rating: mature

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: smut, penetrative sex, protected sex (we cheered!), corruption kink, body worship, oral (fem receiving), loss of virginity, mentions of insecurities, aftercare, lemme know if I missed anything!

Note: This was requested! I hope you enjoy this anon.

Thank you always to my loves @tomodachiii and @tusswrites for beta reading and helping me with the plot!

Click here to join my taglist!

Reblogs are appreciated ♡

.ᐟMinors/blank/no age indicator blogs will be blocked.ᐟ

The sound of the TV is muffled, forgotten in the background. The feeling of Jeonghan's lips against yours is the only thing you can focus on at the moment. They feel so soft, so warm, and so perfect. You get lost in the way they moulded against yours. You're draped across his lap, his hands keeping you steady. You thread your fingers through his short brown hair, giving it a gentle tug that draws a groan from his lips.

You want more. You crave more. You want to feel him all over you, inside you. You hear his breath hitch as you slowly start to grind your hips against his. He suddenly pulls away, his hands stopping you from moving. You look down at him, confused.

“We should get back to the movie; we wouldn’t want to miss the climax,” he says softly, a gentle smile on his lips.

You furrow your brows, pouting. Jeonghan always does this—every time things start to get more intimate, he somehow stops it. Something suddenly comes up, he brushes off the moment, or he simply leaves the room. You have no idea why he does this, but you don’t have the heart to ask. Suppressing a sigh, you nod and slide off his lap, reluctantly settling back to watch a movie you don’t really care about.

Opening your front door, you practically jump into Jeonghan's arms; it's been almost two weeks since you last saw him due to his busy schedule. He chuckles as he wraps his arms around you, snuggling his nose into your hair and inhaling your scent.

"I missed you so much bubs," he sighs.

"Missed you more," you mumble into his chest.

He gives you a gentle squeeze before cupping your face, tilting it up to meet his gaze. His lips find yours, and you melt into the kiss. You’ve missed him so much, his presence, his scent, his warmth, and the feeling of his lips on yours.

You wanted to feel more of him, you needed more of him. You press up against him and tilt your head to deepen the kiss. He groans, and his hands roam down to your ass, squeezing them and eliciting a moan from you.

"H-Hannie," you whimper.

He suddenly pauses, pulling his lips away from yours. You look up at him, confused, wondering if you did something wrong.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, brow furrowed.

“Sorry, bubs. I’m just tired. How about we take a nap together?” he murmurs, gently caressing your face.

Biting your lip, you reluctantly nod. He kisses the top of your head and leads you to the bedroom.

Lying in his arms, you pout as thoughts race through your mind. Did you do something wrong? Did you make him uncomfortable? You shift carefully, not wanting to wake Jeonghan, who’s softly snoring beside you.

Jeonghan is your very first boyfriend. You’d never really pictured yourself in a relationship, content with being single and even imagining you’d stay that way. But then Jeonghan came into your life, and everything changed.

He just feels so… perfect. Like you’re meant to be. He treats you with such tenderness, caring for you like a delicate flower. He’s your first in so many ways—first boyfriend, first date, first kiss. You want him to be your first time, too. But every time you try to take things further, he suddenly pulls away.

Does he not feel that way about you? Does he not see you as sexy and desirable? Maybe he’s only with you out of pity. Maybe he doesn’t truly love you and feels obligated to stay. As these thoughts swirl, a few tears slip down your cheeks.

Friday night—one of your favourite nights, marking the end of the workweek and the start of the weekend. Even better, Jeonghan’s schedule ended early, so he decided to spend the evening with you.

You’re cooking dinner for both of you while Jeonghan clings to you from behind, occasionally planting kisses on your neck, making you giggle.

“Jeonghan, I won’t be able to finish dinner if you keep distracting me like this,” you laugh as he starts to sway with you.

“But you’re so cute and cuddly,” he whines.

“You can cuddle me all you want after I finish dinner.”

You can’t see him, but you can definitely feel him pout as he stops swaying and loosens his grip. You chuckle, shaking your head, heart swelling at his playful antics.

Dinner was filled with the usual, compliments, catching up, laughter, and, of course, a bit of teasing. After cleaning up, you both decide to settle in for a movie night. Cuddled up on the couch, you put on one of your favourite movies, Iron Man (definitely not because you have a crush on Tony Stark). The lights are off, and the only thing illuminating the room is the soft glow from the TV.

The TV’s light highlights Jeonghan’s features, making him look even more handsome, and you can’t help but admire him. Jeonghan notices you watching him and turns with a smile.

“Am I really that handsome that I managed to distract you from the Tony Stark?” he chuckles.

“Shut up,” you roll your eyes, snuggling into the crook of his neck, which makes him laugh softly.

“You’re so cute,” he murmurs, rubbing your back gently.

You playfully bite his neck, making him let out a small yelp as he pulls back, wide-eyed. You burst into laughter at his shocked expression.

“Oh, you little—” he growls, grabbing you and starting to tickle you, making you squeal and try to push him away.

But he doesn’t relent, pinning you down on the couch and using his body to hold you in place. His hands tickle your sides, and you laugh uncontrollably, struggling to catch your breath.

"I yield! I yield!" You yell out, writhing under him.

He lets out a laugh, grabs your hands, and pins them to the couch above your head. The both of you catch your breath as you stare at each other. He looks ethereal, his hair is messy but it frames his face perfectly, his cheeks are flushed from laughing, and his eyes have a sparkle to them which you can get lost in.

A beat passes and Jeonghan blinks.

"S-Sorry," he mumbles and gets off you, you can't help but frown.

You sit up and bite your bottom lip.

“Jeonghan…do you…not find me attractive?” You whisper, tears pricking your eyes.

“What?” His head snaps toward you, his expression bewildered.

“Every time I try to initiate something more, you just…push me away,” you sniffle, frowning. “Do you not find me attractive? Are you only with me out of obligation? You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. I…I’d understand if you did.”

You feel the air grow still as Jeonghan blinks at you, his expression bewildered. After a few beats, his gaze shifts—his eyes darken, and a slow smirk spreads across his face.

"I don’t find you attractive?" he mutters with a low chuckle, shaking his head.

His eyes lock onto yours with an intense, dark look that sends a shiver up your spine.

"I don’t find you attractive?" he repeats, louder this time, his tone laced with offence.

With a growl, he grabs your face and kisses you roughly, his lips devouring yours. You let out a small squeak, not expecting this behaviour from your usually sweet and caring boyfriend.

Noticing your hesitance, he pulls back. His thumb gently caresses your cheek, as he looks at you with longing and lust.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me Y/N?" he whispers against your lips. "Do you have any idea how much you drive me insane? Hm?"

He leans back and takes your hand, guiding it to rest over his bulge; you gasp, he's rock solid.

"Jeonghan…?" You whisper, your heart lurching in your chest.

“Do you want me to show you? Show you just how much I’ve been holding back?” He asks, breath ragged.

You lick your lips as you look at his bulge straining against his pants. Your eyes slowly travel over his breathless figure before meeting his gaze, and you nod.

His lips immediately latch onto yours, his movements rough and aggressive. You submit to him, letting him take complete control. His hand rests at the back of your head, gently guiding you. He tilts his head and prods his tongue against your lips. You open your mouth, giving him full access.

He starts sucking on your tongue, making you moan against him. The kiss is messy and intense, his tongue clashing against yours hungrily. You can't help but whimper, relishing the feeling taking over your body.

Needing air, you both pull apart, a string of saliva connecting your lips. You look at Jeonghan—his pupils are blown wide with lust, lips swollen and shiny from kissing, cheeks flushed as he pants. You can imagine you’re in a similar state.

"You taste like sweet innocence," he murmurs, caressing your cheek. "And I've imagined countless times tainting your innocence with my sin."

Your breath hitches at his words.

"Please taint me with your sin Jeonghan," you mewl.

"Whatever you wish, my sweet," he growls with a smirk.

With a final peck on your lips, he leads you to the bedroom. Your heart races in your chest, a mix of nerves and excitement about what’s to come.

Once you’re sitting on the bed, a wave of anxiety hits you. You’ve imagined this moment countless times, but now that it’s actually happening, you suddenly feel nervous. What if once you're undressed, he doesn’t find you attractive? What if you mess up? What if he’s not satisfied?

Noticing your distracted thoughts, Jeonghan cups your cheek and looks at you with concern.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asks gently, his eyebrows furrowing in worry. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to. You don't have to force yourself bubs."

"No, no! I want this!" You protest, shaking your head.

"It's just…what if once I'm naked, you don't find me attractive anymore?" You whisper, unable to meet his gaze as tears well up in your eyes.

His expression hardens at your words. Gently, he guides you onto your back as he crawls on top of you.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've seen in my entire life," he murmurs, placing kisses along your jaw.

He starts to slowly undress you, placing kisses on every exposed inch. He whispers sweet nothings into your skin, making you shiver under him. Any thoughts of insecurity fade away as Jeonghan continues to worship your body.

After you're fully undressed, he stares at you, mesmerised by your beauty. He bites his lip, his eyes tracing your figure as if he’s trying to memorise every inch of you.

"Not even the beauty of the goddess of love can compare to you," he exhales in a daze, and your cheeks flush at his words.

"I can't believe you thought I wasn't attracted to you," he scoffs with a playful grin.

He leans down and captures your lips into a deep kiss, one you return with equal fervour. Your hands weave into his hair, drawing him closer to you.

"I need to taste you, will you let me taste you, bubs?" He breathlessly mumbles against your lips.

You blush at his words, your heart skipping a beat, but you nod shyly.

He slowly starts trailing kisses down to your dripping core and your body shivers due to the cold and anticipation.

"So beautiful," he whispers before licking a long stripe up your cunt.

You gasp and whimper at the new sensation, legs reflexively closing.

"Ah, ah, keep them open for me bubs," he teases as he pulls apart your legs.

Heat rushes to your cheeks as your glistening core is fully displayed for him. He dives in, tongue prodding against your entrance. You moan and whimper at the sensation, hands flying to thread in his hair.

"Fuck, you taste better than I ever imagined," he groans against you, sending vibrations of pleasure through you.

You shut your eyes as the euphoric feeling of his tongue inside you takes over you. You've never felt such sensations before, and now that you have, you never want it to stop. You unintentionally buck your hips against him, he grunts and holds your hips down, preventing you from moving.

Your eyebrows furrow in pleasure as his tongue continues to push against the deepest part of you, lapping up all your juices. You couldn't help but moan his name out loud, which only egged him on further. He was eating you out like a starved man.

He shifts to suck on your clit, and you scream in pleasure. The euphoria becomes overwhelming, sending a tingly sensation through your whole body. A knot forms in your lower abdomen, and your breath catches, unsure of the sensation.

"H-Hannie! I think I-I'm," your voice is shaky and you're barely able to get the words out.

"Cum for me bubs, cum all over my tongue," He murmurs before returning to suck on the sensitive spot.

At his words, the knot snaps, and you feel an overwhelming wave of pleasure wash over you. Your vision goes white, and it feels like your head is underwater. Jeonghan continues to lap up your juices, working you through your orgasm. He stops once he hears you whine.

He sits up and your breath catches at the sight of him. His hair is messy, his chin is coated in your arousal, his eyes are blown out with lust, and a smirk is plastered on his face.

"How did that feel bubs?" He asks, his hands running up and down your hips.

"Feel so good Hannie," you whisper, still panting from your high.

"Wanna taste yourself? Wanna see how sweet you taste?" He grins.

You bite your lip and nod, he leans down and kisses you messily letting you taste yourself on his tongue. Your face scrunches up in disgust at the taste, and you hear Jeonghan chuckle into the kiss.

"What's wrong bub? Don't like the taste?" He teases.

"I don’t understand how you like it," you say, scrunching your nose in distaste.

"You're the sweetest thing I've ever tasted, I can't get enough of you," he purrs, making you blush.

Jeonghan leans back and groans at the sight of you—you look so perfect beneath him. Your hair is splayed out over the pillow, eyes dazed, cheeks flushed, lips swollen from kissing, and your chest rising and falling with each breath. He wants to capture this moment in his memory forever.

Grinding your hips against him, you whine and pout, drawing a chuckle out of Jeonghan.

"Want me to fuck you, bubs? Fill you up with my cock?" He purrs with a smirk.

Your face warms at his words, and you cover it with your hands, nodding shyly. Jeonghan chuckles at your cuteness.

"I want to hear you say it, or else I'm not giving it to you," he says in a cheeky tone.

You let out a whine and huff, and Jeonghan laughs at your frustration.

"You're not getting my cock until you ask for it, bubs," he gives you that familiar grin, the one he always has when he’s teasing you. His thumb starts drawing circles on your hips and you squirm in place.

"I-I want your cock, Hannie," you mumble through your hands, your voice barely over a whisper.

"Hm? What was that, bubs? I couldn't hear you," he teases, his hands slowly trailing lower.

You thrash in place, letting out a whine, and he chuckles at your antics. His hand shifts to your inner thighs, drawing circles near your sensitive bud.

"Hannie, please! I need your cock so bad!" You yell out in frustration.

"Fuck, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for that," he groans.

He shifts off the bed and takes a condom out of his wallet before discarding his shirt and pants, leaving him in his boxers. You look at him in confusion as he pulls out the foil packet.

"Why do you have a condom in your wallet?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.

"You never know when an opportunity like this might come along—I always have to be prepared, bubs," he winks.

He slowly removed his boxers, and you choke back a gasp at the sight of his cock. He was so thick and long; you had an idea of how big he might be when you touched him earlier, but seeing it in person leaves your mouth feeling dry. How was that supposed to fit inside you?

"Don't worry bubs, I'll go slow. You can tell me to stop anytime and I will," he reassures you, sensing your worry.

You lick your lips and nod; he gives you a gentle smile, then wraps the condom over his cock. He shifts to move over you, lining his cock with your entrance. You gaze into his eyes, momentarily lost in their depths. He looks at you as if you’re the only thing in the entire universe. The tips of your noses touch, and his hand gently caresses your cheek.

"I'm going to taint you and claim you as mine," he growls as he slowly enters you.

Your breath hitches, and your body tenses as he slowly enters you, he slots his lips against yours as a way to distract you from the uncomfortable feeling.

"Relax for me bubs," he groans against your lips before connecting them again.

You try your best to relax your body, eyebrows furrowing and slightly wincing at the intrusion. You're grateful that Jeonghan is distracting you from the burn. He lets out a moan once he's fully inside you.

"Let me know when I can move," he strains next to your ear.

You can see he's struggling to restrain himself by the way his body tenses and his muscles twitch. You take a few deep breaths and then nod; he slowly begins to thrust his hips, letting out soft groans.

"F-Fuck, you're perfect," he moans, eyebrows furrowing as he struggles to control himself; you feel so good wrapped around him.

The uncomfortable feeling soon morphs into pleasure, you grab onto his shoulders and moan out his name. Soon, euphoria floods through you, and you squeeze your eyes shut as the intense sensation sweeps over you.

"Look at me bubs, look at me as I'm ruining you," he grunts as his hips rhythmically continue to thrust into you.

You force your eyes open and look at him, and Jeonghan almost cums right then and there. You look like an angel, with that fucked out expression—an angel he plans to keep for himself for the rest of his life. This is a million times better than what he has imagined those countless times he would jerk off to you.

"S-Shit, I can't hold back anymore," he rasps, and he starts drilling into you, his pace inhuman.

You yell out his name and dig your fingernails into his shoulders, eliciting a hiss from him.

"Need to make you cum bubs, can you do that? Can you cum for me again?" he hums.

Whimpering, you nod, already feeling a knot forming. His hand sneaks down your body and rubs your clit with expert precision, you moan feeling your body quake with pleasure.

"Cum for me bubs, cream all over my cock," he growls, and at his words, the knot snaps, and you cum hard, waves of pleasure washing over you.

He cums soon after, filling up the condom with his seed. The two of you take a moment to catch your breath, each exhale coming out in ragged gasps. You take a moment to admire how angelic Jeonghan looks—his face flushed, hair sticking to his forehead from perspiration, his eyes dazed, and the post-orgasm making him glow. You wish this moment could last forever.

He leans down and kisses you tenderly, lovingly, as if you’re a delicate flower that might break��despite his earlier actions being the complete opposite.

"I love you so much, more than you could ever know. The stars in the night sky are just a fraction of how deeply I feel for you. You’re perfect, bubs. Don’t you ever think otherwise," he whispers as he caresses your cheek, his eyes dripping with love.

"Or else I might have to punish you," he smirks, giving you a cheeky wink. You gasp, hitting his shoulder and whining for him not to joke about things like that.

"Who says I'm joking?" he grins before placing a peck on your lips on your pouty lips.

He slowly removes himself, and you wince and whine at the emptiness. He hushes you gently and reassures you that he’s just going to grab a washcloth to clean you up. After disposing of the condom and grabbing a washcloth, he quickly returns and very gently cleans you up, making sure to be extra gentle near your delicate parts.

After cleaning you up and discarding the washcloth, he lies back down beside you and pulls you into his arms. He starts peppering kisses across your face, causing you to giggle.

"I love you, my sweet baby dumpling," he sighs, snuggling his face into your cheek; you roll your eyes and chuckle at the nickname.

"And I love you, my pesky angel," you giggle.

The night unfolds as you drift into each other’s arms, like two puzzle pieces perfectly aligned. To Jeonghan, you mean the world and more, and he never fails to show you just how deeply he feels.

Taglist: @tinyelfperson @gyuguys @stay-tiny-things @unlikelysublimekryptonite

@miyx-amour @iamawkwardandshy @codeinebelle @brownbunnyb @do-you-remember-summer-127

@sclovreina @theidontknowmehn

[rosemariiaa]

~Casual~

pairing: Paige x Oc

a/n: i need to fix my posting schedule lol.. this is my first collab fic with the lovely karly @makethemhoesmad , part 2 will be on her page!! happy reading lovelies 💌

themes: angst, sexual content, language

Enjoy!!!

I was in the locker room, mind all over the place. Honestly, I hadn’t been this unfocused in ages. And it wasn’t just me who noticed—KK and Azzi were side-eyeing me from across the room, probably wondering why I’d been so out of it. Then I heard Ice laugh under her breath and mutter, “Paige, you’re so pussy whipped.”

It was brutal, but she wasn’t wrong.

The buzz in my pocket had me scrambling. A message from Vanessa.

We’d been “hooking up” for the past few months—nothing serious, just something casual, atleast that’s what she tends to remind me about all the time. That’s how it started, anyway. But for me, it felt like it was turning into something more, whether I wanted it to or not.

V: u busy? come over?

I didn’t even hesitate, typing back a quick, On my way.

———

I was out of there in record time, showered and changed, and at Vanessa’s place within twenty minutes flat. My heart was already racing when she opened the door, leaning against the frame in my shirt and black panties. Damn.

She didn’t waste a second, pulling me inside by the collar and crashing her mouth against mine. All the frustration, the waiting—it was all there. In moments like this, it was easy to forget that she kept me at arm’s length, that I wanted more than just a physical connection. But when she had me like this, I didn’t even care.

“Missed you, V,” I murmured against her lips, hands trailing down her waist, then down further gripping her ass.

She smirked, threading her fingers through my hair as she leaned back, her breath hitching. “Shut up and show me.”

Her lips found mine again, urgent. I let her hands slide down my back, pulling me closer as I trailed kisses along her neck, whispering, “You have no idea how much you’ve been messing with me.”

Vanessa let out a quiet laugh, breathless, leaning into my touch. “Paige, you think too much,” she murmured, tipping her head back sighing. “Can’t help it,” I whispered, grazing my teeth against her collarbone before meeting her gaze, something hungry in her eyes. I tightened my grip, keeping her close, practically pinning her to the wall. “You make it impossible to focus baby.”

Her only response was to pull me back into a kiss, sliding her warm tongue to meddle with mine. I moan softly into the kiss, lifting her up and carrying her to the couch. She sank down, tugging me with her, eyes dark and inviting. I know that look. That look she gives me when she wants me to shut up and take her.

I lean down, pulling her shirt up realizing she’s not wearing a bra. Fuck. I take a moment to admire her perky tots and her pink hardened nipples, she shakes them a little signaling me to move closer. I move closer wrapping my lips around her nipple while sliding my hand up from her stomach to her other breast. I swirl my tongue around it making her shudder and sigh as she moves her hand into my hair. “Mmm..more.” she pleads.

I move my mouth from her breasts, looking up at her as i trail open mouthed kisses down the valley of her tits, down to her stomach, until i reach her very dampen panties. She bucks her hips up, the look in her eyes telling me to dive straight in and eat her like my last meal. I run my two middle fingers up and down her clothed pussy. “Paige..stop teasing.” she says, knuckles turning white as she grips the couch.

I oblige, sliding her panties off and taking in her glistening core. I press my palm against her clit. “God, Paige,” she breathes, trying to grind against it. I run my middle finger up and down her wet folds as she bites her lip hard enough to draw blood. “Mmm fuck ma, who got you this wet? I smirk, clearly enjoying the effect I have on her, and I lean in closer, “Y-you baby please..inside.” She pleads.

I slip one finger in. “This good?” I ask, knowing damn well it’s not. Vanessa shakes her head and I smirk, sliding in another, slow and steady, listening to how wet she is and how beautiful she moans. I could listen to that shit on repeat.

“Still not enough ma?” I murmur, cocky as hell, adding a third without waiting for her answer. A gasp slipping out before she can stop it. “Fuck!” she yells. I keep my eyes trained on her, curling my fingers just right , just the way I know she likes.

I lean in , my breath warm against her ear. "Yeah, thought so," I whisper.

My grip on her waist tightens as she arches her back up moaning, watching her struggle to keep up with the pace as I fuck her faster. "Daddy..." a soft moan in my ear.

My eyes flash, and I raise an eyebrow, "say it again," she brings her hand down to her clit rubbing it in tight slow circles, moaning at the sound of my fingers going in and out her dripping pussy. I’m so wet right now. "Fuck daddy..mmph feels so good please faster." My fingers push deeper, stretching out her tight hole with each thrust, slow at first, but quickly picking up speed as I watch her fall apart.

"Yeah, just like that baby." My voice dark, commanding, and I can see her barely keeping her balance, her body moving faster, desperate for every bit I’m giving her. My hand slides up to her neck, making her look at me as I push my fingers in deeper. Vanessa grips my shoulders, moaning, loud.

"Paige, please..." she manages, barely recognizing her own voice. My smirk just grows, fingers are moving faster now, curling to her spot, stretching her out so much.

"That's it, baby. Just let go, cum for me. You can do it," I babbled. Her breaths came faster, mingling with the squelching of my fingers thrusting in and out. "Paige, I... I can't," she breathed, but it sounded like a lie.

"C'mon V. I want to feel you, want to taste you. Just for me mama."

With each thrust, I could feel her teetering closer to the edge. "I'm trying," she gasped, her voice shaking as I moved her fingers deeper and faster . "I promise it'll feel so good. All over my fingers, just like that." I cooed and I can hear the desperation in my voice.

It was like a dam breaking.Her pussy clenching violently around my fingers. Her hips started to stutter as I curled my longest finger deeper massaging that gummy spot. Waves of pleasure washed over her, body trembling as shs fell apart under me, juices dripping on the couch h and my palm.

"Fuck, that's it," I murmured, fingers still moving in her as I guided her through it. "So good for me. You did it, baby."

Vanessa could barely respond. All I could think was how fucking good it felt to make her cum. For me.

———-

When it’s finally over, we’re both breathing heavily, tangled together in a haze. For a second, I think she might let me stay, that this time could be different. But then she’s reaching for her shirt, slipping it back on, a familiar guarded look settling on her face. And just like that, the walls are back up.

I wandered into the kitchen to wash my hands. The water ran cold, the silence between us loud. Once I was done, I turned around and spoke, "What're you doing later?"

She didn't even hesitate. "Hanging with my sister."

I shot her a side-eye. That was bullshit, and we both knew it. She was too quick with the excuse, not even trying to make it sound real. I smirked. "Sounds like bullshit to me."

She crossed her arms and shrugged, her face going a little tight. "Don't you have someone else to see? ! mean, I saw you after your game with that girl. What was her name again? Leah?"

My stomach twisted. She was bringing that up, huh?

It was funny how she could act like she didn't care about me, but then get all territorial when I wasn't looking.

"Seriously? You're bringing that up now?" I chuckled to mask the weird tension that was bubbling up in me.

"Yeah, I am," she snapped. "I don't like sharing Paige.”

The words hit me in a weird way. I hated and liked how possessive she could be, yet she wouldn't commit to anything. It didn't make sense. I could feel the pull between us, and the way she kept holding back while also keeping me at arm's length, all at once. It was frustrating as hell.

I looked at her, my voice dropping a little. "I don't share either. But I can't exactly do anything about that, can I?"

She was quiet for a second, her eyes shifting around the room before she shrugged again, like she didn't want to deal with the weight of what was just said.

"Tread lightly, okay?"

She was trying to put me in my place, make sure I knew who was "in charge". But it was fucking confusing, because she couldn't make up her mind about us. She wanted me, but she didn't want to admit it. And it drove me nuts.

Her face flickered for a second, and I could see she was holding back-just like always. "Fine. Enjoy your 'sister time' then."

We both knew what was really going on.

———-

A few nights later, I walked into Ted's with Azzi and KK, the noise of the bar flooding my senses. It was a usual after-game stop-loud, crowded, and full of people-but my mind wasn't on the win against Creighton. It was on something else entirely.

Someone else.

I didn't even have to look around to know where she was. My eyes found Vanessa almost instantly, like they always did. She was perched at the bar in a black leather romper, the zipper pulled just low enough to show off her tits, just enough to make my stomach twist. I couldn't help it. I wanted to walk up to her, grab her by the waist, and kiss her right there.

I wanted to feel her lips on mine again, to lose myself in the way she tasted, the way she felt.

But then, as I got closer, my heart slammed in my chest. I saw it.

Her arm was wrapped around Leah.

Leah. Fucking Leah.

I tried to keep my cool, to ignore the tight knot forming in my stomach, but the sight of them standing there, so close, it hurt. Leah had her hand on Vanessa's waist, while Vanessa? She was barely paying attention. She wasn't even looking at Leah.

Her eyes were darting around the room, scanning for... something. Or someone. Then, as if she sensed me from a mile away, her gaze finally landed on me.

"Paige!" Vanessa called out, her voice louder than it needed to be. Her smile wasn't a real one-it was forced, like she was trying to make everything seem normal. "What's up? What you doing here?"

I could feel the frustration bubbling up inside me, threatening to spill over. I didn't want to show her how much it hurt, but it fucking did. She was standing there with Leah, looking so unaffected, like she didn't give a damn about the mess she always left me in. I forced myself to respond, but it came out tighter than I expected.

"I'm here with Azzi and KK for a bit," I said, trying to sound nonchalant, but I knew the irritation was obvious. My voice was clipped, my jaw clenched. I couldn't hide it. The way she was acting-being so close with Leah, acting like nothing ever happened between us, like she wasn't the one who kept pulling me in and pushing me away-it was eating me alive.

Vanessa gave a little nod. "Yeah, well, me and Leah are heading to the bathroom. Catch you later."

She turned without another word, leaving me standing there, alone, feeling like the biggest fucking idiot.

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, the ache in my chest spreading. Every time I thought I was getting a handle on this, every time I convinced myself I could just let it go, she did something like this. Every time, I found myself right back where I started-confused, angry, hurt.

I stood there for a long moment, my head spinning.

My eyes followed them as they walked away, Vanessa's back turned to me like she didn't even care. But I knew better. I knew how she worked. I could read her, even when she tried to hide it.

What the hell was I doing? What the fuck were we doing?

And right then, I wanted to scream. I wanted to ask her what the hell she wanted from me, why she kept doing this to me. But I didn't. I couldn't.

I hated how much I still wanted her. How every time she pulled away, I let her, and it fucking killed me.

And I hated how much llet her see the hurt in my eyes, even when I didn't say a word.

But she didn't look back. And that made everything even worse.

———-

a/n: posted at 4 but atleast i posted ayeeee!

taglist ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

@thaatdigitaldiary @patscorner @sierrale8ne @ohbueckers @absolutelydreadful @authentic-girl03 @mrsarnold

[uhohbestie]

There Are Monsters Nearby [Chapter 42]

🏜 Pairing: Grian/Scar

🧟‍♂️ Tags: zombie AU, zombie apocalypse, lovers to exes, slow burn, eventual reconciliation

📖 Summary: The day after Scar breaks up with Grian, the dead come back to life. Knowing that venturing out alone is a death sentence, the sudden onset of the apocalypse forces them to stick together despite their tensions. In the wreckage of the world, they're forced to survive side-by-side, coming to terms with the fact that—try as they might—there's still no one they trust more than each other.

Chapter 42 - The story of There Are Monsters Nearby concludes as Scar and Grian turn away from their past and look towards the future.

📝 Words: 11,088

🔗 Link: Read Chapter 42 on AO3

—

“I want you to get Pop Tarts,” Grian says, his attention cast to the side while Scar works, looking towards the settlement in the distance. It’s a fair ways off, looking more like a grey-brown smudge from where they stand— a collection of RVs and camper vans clustered close together in the lee of a grassy ridge, the surrounding hills fringed in sparse junipers and hardy looking spruce saplings. There’s an open space between them, dotted with small lumps that Scar knows are grazing cattle and a clustered herd of goats.

The ruins of a city lay further off to the east, the handful of buildings not blackened from fire standing empty and abandoned. It’s from there that the zombies have been drifting out, a perpetual source of mindless, wandering horror. Though now, thanks to Scar’s aim and Grian’s tenacious knack for violence, the tide will hopefully have been stemmed to some degree.

“And whatever milk and cheese they’ve got. I saw all their animals, there’s no way they don’t have dairy to spare.”

It’s an endearing quirk that Grian has adopted ever since it became clear his diet was permanently changed. He likes to pick things for Scar to eat now, planning and suggesting his meals with whatever they scavenge, hunt, and barter. He’s never been a good cook, not even before the world fell apart, but it’s been sweet the way he's applied himself to improving, the two times he gave Scar food poisoning already becoming fond memories in their own way.

When the last zombie’s head has been separated from its body, Scar yanks a glove onto his hand and begins gathering them all, shoving each one into a canvas sack that he uses for the sole purpose of demonstrating their worth to any sceptical marks they come across. Once he’s done, he sets the bag down, putting out his arm and drawing Grian in close.

“Good work out there,” he compliments, pressing a kiss to the top of his partner’s head. Grian’s hair is clean and smells incredibly good—like sandalwood and something crisp—everything about him well-maintained, despite the state of the world around them. “You really treated those googlies like you had a score to settle.”

Without hesitation Grian leans into Scar’s touch, the easy return of his affection still a novelty, despite how many weeks Scar’s been allowed and able to enjoy it.

“You weren’t so bad yourself,” he offers, his words mumbled sweetly into the thick flannel of Scar’s shirt. “You’re getting to have a real hawk-eye with your aim, you know.”

“I love it when you say I’m a hot guy,” Scar preens, deliberately mishearing him. “Got a real nice ring to it.”

[ read more ]

—

Chapter 42! 380k words and ten months later, we are so happy to announce that we've come to the end of our story. While there's still so much more of TAMN left that we plan to write and share, this portion is over, and we couldn't be happier. Thank you so, so much for going on this journey with us, and we hope you enjoy the epilogue and ending of There Are Monsters Nearby 💜🧡

You can read the whole fic thus-far in the link below ↓↓↓

You may not rest now, There Are Monsters Nearby (on ao3!)

[stevie-petey]

hi!! can we get a cute fluffy stug blurb to deal with all the angst? your writing is genuinely so incredible i get scared to read a new chapter bc i don’t want to see them suffer but your writing is so so so good it just draws me in completely. I hope you’re proud of come home bc it’s INCREDIBLE i don’t think i’ve read anything related to steve that i love more. and the blurbs?? what else could we ask for omg you’re giving us EVERYTHING

hi dear !! i was savin a fluffy request for when we needed one, and i think after these last few days ,,,, some cute bickering between robin, steve, dustin, and bug is needed.

enjoy <3

"your boyfriends late."

"the bell rang like, five seconds ago."

"hes still late."

robin rolls her eyes at dustin while you shove him off the curb. he yelps in surprise and you snicker. "watch your step, dusty."

"do not call me that." he glares at you, straightening his hat. hes shot up at least three inches since this summer and soon he'll be your height and not so easy to shove onto the street.

"children, please." robin sighs exhaustedly. "i have a four hour shift ahead of me. can we save the arguing for later?"

"she started it!" dustin exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger at you while you point at him and shout, "he started it!"

a car pulls up behind the two of you. "whatever youre arguing about, im on y/n's side."

steve pokes his head out through his rolled down window. hes wearing his stupidly cheesy raybands that youve come to adore. smiling at you, he sends you an air kiss. "miss me?"

dustin thwacks the teens nose, eliciting a very unattractive screech to fall from steves lips. "never do that again."

your brother then gets into the back of the car while you and robin giggle hysterically. she has to clutch onto your arm to avoid toppling over in her laughter. youre no better yourself, snorting with every quick inhale of breath.

"tha' wasn' funny," steve holds his nose while he tilts his head back. hes worried the shithead gave him a bloody nose, but all you and robin can focus on is how nasally his voice is now.

the two of you laugh even harder, and all steve can do is flick you off and pout.

"you guys are assholes." he grumbles, finally starting the car after you and robin collect yourselves.

"im sorry, honey." you press a soft, gentle kiss to the tip of steves nose. "is that better?"

of course your kiss made steve feel infinitely better. but he isnt an idiot. hes aware of the audience in his car. theres no way hes giving dustin and robin even more ammunition against him.

"not answerin' that."

dustin snorts. "oh, so now hes smart not to flirt with you in front of me."

"why are you even in my car?"

"why are you even dating my sister?"

robin raises her hand. "i have an even better question: why am i being driven to my shift that starts in five minutes?"

"thats a great question, robin." your body turns to the one next to you. "steve, care to answer?"

steve waves a sarcastic hand at you, but he pulls out of the school parking lot anyways. you, robin, and dustin cheer. though steves eyebrows are knit in annoyance, you know hes secretly elated as well. its rare to have a day at family video with you and dustin alongside him and robin.

with your shifts at the bookstore and dustins growing fascination with eddie, its nice to just have some time with one another. family video always feels bleaker without the hendersons.

"alright, what has horny heather selected this week?" dustin makes himself at him behind the video counter. long having memorized the systems password, he easily logs into the stores rental catalogue.

horny heather is the name youve given one of family videos most frequent customers. shes an older women with a bizarre fixation for movies with attractive male leads. it wouldnt be so bizarre if it werent for the fact that she regularly rewinds to every single shirtless scene the movies contains.

and every nude scene.

sometimes you hate how much family video knows about its customers.

you plop down next to dustin. "my money is on anything with tom cruise. she seems to have a thing for brunettes."

"and who can blame her?" steve flicks his hair out of his face. "we're obviously the best."

robin throws her jacket at him. "stop drooling over yourself. its unbecoming for a young man."

"dude, you sound like my mom."

"jokes on you. your mom is totally a babe," robin bats her eyelashes at him. "im taking that as a compliment."

steve blanches at this, completely disgusted and offended. he looks at you incredulously. "you hearing this? she just called my mom a babe. thats-thats just so wrong-"

"your mom is pretty hot." you shrug at steve. "sorry, honey. im on robins side."

robin high fives you, snickering in victory. steves jaw drops in pure astonishment. hes speechless. he cant believe youd betray him like this. he cant believe you think his own mother is hot.

dustin looks at the scene before him and shakes his head. you guys are being totally immature. "cmon, guys. thats just wrong."

steve waves his arms out at the kid. "see? thank you, little henderson. god, i cant believe youre the only one here with any sense left-"

"of course, buddy!" dustin smiles wickedly at him. "its silly for y/n and robin to call your mom hot. we all know its really your dad is way hotter."

"what-?" steve gasps for air.

"his broodiness is hot, isnt it?" you grab dustins arm excitedly. "i mean, hes just so stoic. so stern."

robin pretends to faint. "its so... manly."

steve goes to the corner and screams.

which just so happens to be the same corner a poor, old woman is browsing in.

he ends up getting hit with her cane.

its a good day.

[queen-rhaenyra-t-targaryen]

Well, if the beginning of the story and journey are angst, I must sorry in advance to you all whoever reading this.

.

.

.

In the beginning, about 20s years+++ ago, my two best friends forever and my younger brother took me to the Middle-Earth.

We all had excellent time together when talking about LotR, both books and films. I had to borrow translated version of LotR books from local library, because they were sold out quickly - though the publishers published them out every month. Eventually, I've got mine with The Hobbit, that time The Hobbit was about to become major motion pictures.

Even there was no Tumblr back then; only communities on webboards and fansites, but I was contentment and enjoy fan-theories on Tolkien Legendariam so much, plus fan fictions and fanarts.

Then, I had been on an anime webboard from 2010-2014, I met many good friends there and they also share their love on Tolkien Legendariam too.

That was good, because I met them regularly in people, hanging out together. But one day, one of them - somebody I used to call good friend - got qaurrelling with me and without reasons, also she is the big fan of Tolkien amongst this small group. I won't describe in details here: just conclusion that she made me despited her and even Tolkien; everytime I saw LotR and any Tolkien Legendariam, I thought of that b*tch and what she had done to me, and I would be in blue for days.

When LotR films got their own 20 years anniversary celebration, altogether with Rings of Power on Amazon Prime appear on my dash, my feed, and my best friend - who weds to English man, accidentally met Robert Aramayo at Cafe and went back home watching Rings of Power abruptly with her husband - she recalls I love Middle-Earth and Tolkien Legendariam so dearly. She talked to me and encouraged me to go back to the things that I love so much.

At first, as I watched TROP first episode, I was forgetting about almost everything about Valinor, Finrod, Primal race before Hobbits, Sindarin and every The Silmarillion's easter egg. I cried. Both with regret and joy.

I finally told my mum and my best friend forever (who is the first that took me to Middle-Earth), that I had abandoned all Tolkien stuffs because of what I've stated at the previous paragraphs before. So, I pick up all my long lost forgotten (but now they're on top of my bookshelf again) books again, and re-reading it with heart full of joy and happiness like the first time. And then, when I could recall everything, I watched TROP again with my wholehearted and without biases, the result is I LOVE THIS ADAPTATION ARDENTLY.

TROP leads me to numerous new horizons of many fan-theories' aspects, and what I had never thought I'm able to feel and have it again in the real mad world; hope.

Every characters, especially with young Elrond, every relationship - even Saurondriel - and every breathtaking scenry are like remedies curing and healing me.

I can reach out to my old self that I had denied for once, and this self of mine is much more happier than ever, even if I don't make much friends in TROP Fandom, but I make one: @letthefairyinyoufly -- and feel that the whole Fandom is my friends who sharing similar but various original thories, positive opinions, marvelous creations - gifs, edits and fanarts - and kind folks with open-hearted, open-minded, and most important one; supporting each others.

I can go back writing fan fictions, drawing fanarts, learning Elvish again, and now in considering making TROP gifs after I gave up year ago. In conclusion is, this Fandom reignites my creative fire in my soul (Yes, to soul level) like I were real apprentice to Cirdan, burns all sorrow and misery away just like Elrond's speech in S01E01 and his steadfast on hope, and be one of the jovial reasons to live again on this insane Earth.

Thousand times of thank yous to 'The Lord of the Rings : The Rings of Power' and beautiful people in this Fandom. Particularly with @letthefairyinyoufly (again) I love you all so much. And I wish we are going to accomplish abundantly forward until we can do all of tributes no more.

And please stay strong and don't give much f*cks and sh*ts to haters and meanies. The Fandom is our delightfulness, happiness and amusement, never ever let them take our source of inspiration away, never. Just let them be oh-so-rightheous-me in their own narrow world. We, members of Fandom, are happy - that's all mattered.

Love you all with my sincerity.

Additional (edit) : This fandom also awakes my love of languages and linguistics again. 🥰

Love Letter to the Fandom

I would like to gush a bit about the Rings of Power fandom, because it's been one of the best things that happened to me in the past two years. :-) ROP is the biggest hyperfixation of my life, and thanks to being in the fandom I met so many nice, smart, funny and incredibly creative people (some of them in person).

We truly are blessed when it comes to creativity: there are so many amazing artists, skillful gif makers, talented fanfiction writers. It's also been a pleasure to read all the great meta and exchange theories, ideas, or simple details from the show that I would never noticed if other wouldn't have pointed it out. Our community has also triggered my own creativity; and most of my stills / videos / fanfics would never exist if it wasn't for discussions with other fans. Let alone ending up where I co-organised two events with the lovely @queenmeriadoc. It has also re-awakened my interest in Tolkien. I have been a fan for 30 years, but had a long hiatus. It's great to be back. :-) THANK YOU so much for making my life brighter!

And cheers for the good times to come!

And if you feel like sharing your positive experiences in the fandom, please do so!

[nickeverdeen]

Hiii, I have a request for Caitlyn from Arcane x fem!reader whose struggling a lot socially headcannon / imagine (I still don't really understand the difference so feel free to decide).

Also since this isn't the first request I'm making, (I was the third Caitlyn matchup you did if I'm not wrong) do you take emoji anons? If so can I be 💐 anon?

Anyways enjoy your break

Hi, cariño! So basically imagine is something like a story and headcannon are points. For example I chose headcannons for this. And you can totally be my 💐 anon!

——————————

Caitlyn x socially struggling fem!reader hcs

Caitlyn is a wonderful listener, letting you express your social anxieties without ever judging or interrupting

Whenever she senses you’re nervous in public, she’ll give your hand a gentle squeeze, grounding you instantly

Caitlyn never pushes you into situations you’re uncomfortable with, always letting you take things at your own speed

She’s very intuitive, and if anyone makes you uncomfortable, she’ll politely steer the conversation or whisk you away so she can deal with them

Caitlyn’s perceptive and realizes that social settings can be overwhelming, so she never expects you to be someone you’re not

At gatherings, she’ll find quieter spots with you so you both can enjoy the evening without the crowd

If you’re unsure about social cues, she’ll gently guide you, helping you understand people’s reactions without making you feel self-conscious

When you’re together, she has a way of making you feel like it’s just the two of you, no matter where you are

She understands that social anxiety takes time to overcome and will never rush you or make you feel like a burden

A hand on your back, an arm around your shoulder—she’ll always be there with these small touches to keep you at ease

Every step you take socially, no matter how small, is a reason for her to celebrate and show how proud she is of you

Caitlyn will introduce you to new experiences but always checks if you’re comfortable first

She’s perceptive enough to know when you’re struggling and will step in to gracefully steer conversations or provide an easy exit

She’s always checking in with you, making sure you feel safe and respected, especially in social settings

If the environment becomes too much, she’ll find a way to bring you somewhere quiet, no questions asked

Caitlyn is quick to shut down any hurtful comments or disrespectful behavior toward you

In private, she’ll gently ask about your thoughts and opinions, helping you build confidence in expressing yourself

Caitlyn will subtly offer tips on social situations, knowing you might need guidance without making it obvious

She’s tactful about keeping you involved in conversation without putting the spotlight on you

Caitlyn genuinely admires your resilience and bravery, even if it’s just showing up to a social event

She lets you navigate social situations on your own but is close by if you need her

Caitlyn is perceptive and respects your social boundaries, helping you balance being present with avoiding overwhelm

In public, she’ll be discreet yet affectionate, making you feel loved without drawing attention

She’ll suggest quieter dates, like walks in the park or reading in a cozy café, where you can enjoy time together without social pressure

After you successfully handle a social event, she’s the first to congratulate you, making you feel seen and accomplished

She knows when you’re feeling drained and will offer to wrap things up early without you having to say a word

When making plans, Caitlyn always considers what will be most comfortable and enjoyable for you

Caitlyn’s affectionate but knows you feel most comfortable with private, intimate moments rather than public displays

After socializing, she’s there to talk it out, reassure you, and help you unwind from any lingering stress

Caitlyn helps you see the strengths in being a quiet, observant person, building your confidence in who you are

If others ever misinterpret your shyness as aloofness, she’ll step in to set the record straight

Caitlyn can sense when you’re on edge and will find a way to help you relax without drawing attention

She’s steadfast in her support, reminding you that you don’t need to change to be loved and appreciated

She’s always putting your comfort first, from choosing seating arrangements to suggesting quieter venues

Caitlyn encourages you to be proud of who you are, reminding you that your uniqueness is what makes you special in her eyes

[sjsmith56]

A Better Man, Part 8 - Attachments

Summary: Bucky and Andrea’s date goes well until an unwelcome interruption. When the unthinkable happens a few days later, Bucky takes action.

Length: 5.2 K

Characters: Bucky, Andrea, Steve, Sam, Natasha, Brock Rumlow, Winnifred, Thor, Nick Fury.

Warnings: Feelings of betrayal, anger, angst, description and threats of violence.

Author notes: It was bound to happen.

<<Part 7

Part 8

When Bucky arrived at the apartment his mother was already there but there was no opportunity to ask her about Nick Fury, not with Andrea sitting next to her, already dressed for their date.  He showered, shaved, and changed, coming out to the sight of his mother reading one of the board books to Lily, smiling broadly at the faces the little girl made.  It made him realize how much she already loved Lily and Andrea. 

"There are several frozen bottles of breast milk in the freezer," said Andrea.  "Just thaw one out in lukewarm water, then warm it up in warmer water.  Make sure to shake it before you feed her.  Her diaper will likely need to be changed before you put her in her crib.  I'll keep my phone on vibrate if you have any problems."

"Go, and don't worry about anything," said Winnifred.  "We'll be just fine.  You two have a good time."

Bucky kissed her on the cheek then took Andrea's hand as they went to the elevator.  By the time they got down to the lobby he had almost forgotten about Fury's man watching the building, not even checking the area before they got into the Uber that was picking them up.  When they arrived at the dinner club, Steve and Natasha were waiting outside on the sidewalk for them.  The women hugged each other, then Sam and Maria arrived.  The two women were introduced to Bucky.  Andrea hadn't met Maria before but had heard about her from Natasha.  By the time they got inside and led to their table, they were laughing together as if they had known each other for some time. 

Dinner was fun, as they each ordered something different, but shared tastes of their food with everyone else, comparing their choices.  There was a lot of laughter, some gentle teasing and sharing of funny stories.  When the dinner plates were being cleared, and the server came for their dessert orders, Andrea asked Bucky if they could share something. 

"What do you like?" he asked, a soft smile on his face.

"Anything with chocolate," she said, then she reconsidered.  "Wait, I don't know if Lily will react to it.  Maybe I should stick to something blander, just in case."  He looked blankly at her.  "Whatever I eat can show up in the breast milk.  Too much chocolate can upset a baby's tummy.  Maybe cheesecake would be a better choice, or something with apples."

He looked again at the dessert menu.  "There is an apple crumble with caramel sauce.  How does that sound?"

"Perfect," she smiled, then she looked at the server.  "May I have decaf tea with that?"

When it came and two spoons were put on their place settings, Bucky slid the serving over to her to try first.  Dipping her spoon in to the crumble part, she made sure there was caramel on it, then raised it to her mouth. 

"Oh my God, this is so good!" 

Bucky took a taste and agreed.  They fed each other on occasion, drawing smiles from the others.  It was a perfect way to end the meal.  Natasha leaned over to Steve and whispered in his ear.  He whispered back making her nod.  Neither would share what they said but it was certain they were both happy for their respective friends at how good they seemed together.

The music started and as promised, it was very laid back, lending itself to close dancing.  They all got up to take part, enjoying the mellow atmosphere.  After several songs, Bucky and Andrea sat back down, to refresh themselves.  She checked her phone, making sure that Bucky's mother hadn't called or texted.  Excusing himself to use the men's room, Bucky got up, leaving Andrea on her own as the others continued dancing.  She watched them, then was aware that someone had sat beside her.  Assuming it was Bucky, she was shocked to see Brock Rumlow.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, pulling herself away.

"Free country," he replied.  "What are you doing here?  Shouldn't you be home looking after my daughter?"

"You're not her father."  How did he know I had a girl?  "You can't just show up whenever you please and claim she's your child."

"What are you doing here, Rumlow?" asked Steve, suddenly at the table with Sam.  "You're not welcome here."

"I'm having a conversation with the mother of my child," smirked the man.  "Beat it."

Bucky approached, stepping between Andrea and Rumlow.  "The lady doesn't want anything to do with you," he stated.  "I would suggest you leave."

"Taking my sloppy seconds, huh?" grinned the swarthy man.  He stood up.  "I wasn't good enough for her, so she sets her sights on the golden boy of renovations.  Does she know the truth about you and Barnes Contracting?"

"You need to leave," said Natasha, holding up her badge.  "This is bordering on harassment, and I have no qualms about making an arrest.  You're the one who didn't want anything to do with Andrea or her baby, so get lost, loser."

"NYPD?  Do you know who you're hanging out with?"  Maria flashed her badge and Rumlow stepped back, holding up his hands in surrender.  "Andrea, consider this a notice that I intend to sue for custody of our daughter.  Since you're not working and you're living off the charity of others I'm sure a family court judge will be willing to give her to me.  You all have a good evening."

With another smirk, he left.  Bucky put his arms around Andrea right away, kissing her hair.  She was shaken then she looked at Natasha.

"Can he do that?  Can he get custody of her?"

"Over my dead body," she answered.  "He's just trying to frighten you.  The guy is a major asshole."

"What did he mean about knowing the truth?"  She looked at all of them, noticing they weren't jumping to say they didn't know.  "Bucky?  What did he mean?"

He swallowed nervously, looking at the others.  "We should go home so I can talk to you there."

"No, I want to know what he meant.  Natasha, what was he talking about?"

"Andrea, you really should go with Bucky.  This isn't the place ...."

"Would somebody please tell me what the hell he meant?" 

She sounded like she was on the verge of panicking as her voice caused everyone in the club to stop talking and look at them.  The manager asked them to leave as they were disturbing the other patrons.  Taking her purse and jacket, she headed towards the door and out onto the sidewalk.  Steve murmured he would take care of the bill while the others went out to where Andrea glared at all of them.  With a sigh, Bucky stood in front of her.

"There's something I haven't told you," he said.  "I've wanted to, but everything was going so well, and I really was trying to do the right thing in getting out of it.  Barnes Contracting is an actual general contracting company, and Steve, Sam and I have our legal contractor's licenses, but we haven't only taken on renovations.  Most of our revenue stream until a few weeks ago was providing a service to several other businesses, most of them weren't legitimate.  We held on to stolen goods for them, transporting them to their customers after the heat was off.  When I met you, I knew that it wasn't something I wanted you to be associated with, so we changed to just renovations, legal ones.  No more holding stolen goods."

She pushed him hard enough to make him stumble a little as her lips trembled with anger.  Bucky impassively took it without comment.  She breathed heavily with disbelief at what he just told her. 

"It's true," said Natasha, trying to intervene on Bucky's behalf.  "They aren't like Brock, Andrea.  They never were involved in the things he was."

"You knew and you didn't say anything?  You encouraged me to see him, to become close to him ... to fall in love with him." Natasha looked down, unable to say anything more.  "Now, I don't even have a place to live, because he has torn my house apart."

"You don't have to leave," said Bucky.

"I'm not staying with a crook," she shouted, all of her anger bursting out in the effort, then she placed her shaking hand on her forehead.  "Your mother, she knows?"  He nodded and she groaned in frustration.  "You're horrible people.  All of you.  Now, I might lose my daughter.  I don't have a job and the money that I was living on when I had a house won't support me for longer than a couple of months if I have to find a place to rent."

It was too much for her and she suddenly wavered, then fainted.  Steve caught her, lifting her up in his arms. 

"Where's your car?" he asked.

"We took an Uber," replied Bucky.  "You?"

"We walked," he answered.  "Taxi."

Bucky hailed a cab.  At first, the driver wouldn't take Bucky and Andrea, considering the state she was in, but Natasha showed him her badge and told him it was okay.  For $50 cash, he said he would consider it.  Sam opened his wallet and gave him the money.  During the drive, Andrea came around, but she wouldn't let Bucky touch her. 

"I'm sorry, but there was no easy way to tell you," he said.  "I wanted to.  I really did."

"I don't believe you," she answered. 

"Look, you stay in the apartment.  I'll pack a bag and live at my mother's place.  I'll get your place done as soon as possible so you can move back, at my expense."

"Right," she answered.  "Since I don't have the money to pay you, are you going to send your enforcer to break my kneecaps?"

"No, I don't have an enforcer.  I don't do that.  The only thing I did was hold onto stuff and make deliveries.  That's it."

She looked out the window on the other side of the back seat, not saying a word.  Bucky realized he was chewing on his fingernails and stopped, lacing his fingers together in his lap.  Damn Brock Rumlow for being the asshole he always was.  Damn him for showing up and opening his big mouth.  Damn himself for not being honest with Andrea from the beginning.  She didn't wait for him when the driver pulled up to the apartment building.  As Bucky paid, she got out and hurried to the door, then to the elevator, getting in and not holding the doors for him.  He waited the few minutes it took for the elevator to return to the main floor then got on, hoping that she stayed there.  When he got to his floor, he saw his mother sitting on a tall stool at the kitchen counter.  Her face said it all.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"In her room.  She said you're moving out while you finish her house.  What happened?"

"Brock Rumlow showed up."  His mother sighed and lowered her head, just imagining how that went.  "Said he's going to sue her for custody then he asked her if she knew the truth about me.  I had to tell her.  She wouldn't let it go."

He went to his room, pulling out a large suitcase and throwing his clothes in.  Winnifred stood in the doorway.  Hesitating for a moment, he glanced at her.

"Why would Nick Fury have someone watching my place?"

She breathed out noticeably.  "I asked him to have someone watching Andrea.  I knew that if Pierce found out about Lily, he would come for her.  Family is everything to him and even if Brock Rumlow didn't want her, Pierce would."

He closed his suitcase, then looked at her again.  "Why would Mrs. Parker tell us that the enemy of our enemy is our friend?  What did she mean?"

"Just that Nick Fury has his sights set on Hydra Contracting and Alexander Pierce.  They have been involved in a battle of wits for as long as you've been alive.  You don't have to worry about him coming after you or Barnes Contracting.  He has no interest in the company."

He picked up the suitcase then looked at her again.  "That's not the whole story, is it?"  She said nothing and gave nothing away.  "Need to know.  Alright, but you better start trusting me with something because I'm walking out on the woman I love because she thinks I'm in the same league as Brock Rumlow and I know that I'm nothing like that animal."

Out in the kitchen, he grabbed a pen and a pad of paper, writing on it.  Then he opened his wallet and emptied it of cash, putting it under the pad.  With a look to the hallway where Andrea's bedroom was, he picked up his suitcase again and went to the elevator with his mother, entering it when the doors opened.  A few minutes after they left, Andrea's bedroom door opened, and she came out to verify they were gone.  She saw the note, read it but didn't take the money.  Then she sat in the oversized armchair where she and Bucky made out just a week ago.  Only then did she give in to the overwhelming emotions she was feeling and began to cry.  It was a long time before she stopped, locked down the elevator door, turned off the lights and went to bed.

It didn't take long for word to reach the employees of Barnes Contracting that something had happened to Bucky.  Simply put, he was a bear with just about everyone, even Mrs. Parker.  At the job site, he didn't let up on anything or anyone.  It was draining and made for a very tense workplace.  Steve tried to talk to him whenever he came back to the office, but Bucky wouldn't say anything, other than he was fine.  When Steve told Natasha how badly Bucky was taking it during the week after the incident, she admitted that Andrea had blocked her phone number.

"If she's blocked me, she's probably blocked Bucky as well," she said, sadly.  "I really fucked up."

"We all did," he replied.  "Rumlow obviously had someone following Bucky to find where he lived."

She looked at Steve.  "What do you mean?  Didn't he already know?"

Steve shook his head.  "No, it was kept secret.  Only me, Sam, a couple of our guys, and his mom knew where he lived."  He hesitated.  "Something bad happened to Bucky when he was a kid, and he is very security conscious because of it.  I don't know the details, but he was traumatized by it and has been afraid of blood ever since.  It makes him physically sick."

"How old was he?"

"Six, I think.  I met him after it happened.  It's also why he's not the type to get into fights or arguments.  He just takes it because he doesn't like conflict."

"He didn't even react when Andrea pushed him or got angry about it." 

Steve put his arm around her shoulders, drawing her in closer and kissing her head. 

"It's Dot, all over again, except worse."

He explained about Bucky's previous girlfriend and how much it set him back.  It made Natasha feel even more at fault for what happened as it was obvious Bucky was nothing like Brock Rumlow in mind or temperament.  He and Andrea were perfect for each other in so many ways.  She burrowed into Steve's chest, seeking comfort from this man who was becoming much more than the casual sex partner she had originally envisioned.  She was falling in love with Steve Rogers. 

Friday came around again, and the crew were cleaning up the debris in the brownstone.  Bucky had the blueprints of the new kitchen layout in front of him on a portable table and was pointing out to the electrician the location of the new lighting fixtures over the island placement.  Since Andrea wasn't taking his calls he was using his best judgement to decide where to place them.  He could hear someone's cell phone ring, and irritatedly thought they shouldn't be taking personal calls on the job. 

"Bucky?" He looked up to see Thor, looking at him anxiously.  "Can I talk to you, privately?"

"I don't have time for private conversations," he snapped.  "Just spit it out."

The big man sighed, then reached down into his work boots and pulled out a wallet, opening it in front of Bucky's face so that only he saw it.  It was an FBI ID card, with his badge just below it.

"What is this, some kind of joke?"

"No joke," said Thor.  "Please, we need to go somewhere private."

The expression on the taller man's face was serious, so Bucky excused himself and the two men went to the powder room, closing the door behind them.

"You're FBI?"

Thor nodded.  "I've been undercover with your business for six months."  Bucky frowned, then ran his hand through his hair.  "It's not what you think.  You and Barnes Contracting weren't under investigation, but I can't say more than that as I don't have clearance.  Just know that the enemy of your enemy is your friend."

It was what Mrs. Parker said to them, setting off all sorts of thoughts in Bucky's mind.  Was Mrs. Parker an FBI agent?  She had been with the company for ten years, had hacked into databases, helped them coordinate shipments ... what the hell was going on?  He looked up at Thor again, who swallowed.

"I just got a call from the District Attorney's office.  Rumlow has kidnapped Andrea and Lily Hart.  He shot the man who was watching them when he tried to intervene.  He's in surgery right now."

It was like being punched in the gut and Bucky began to hyperventilate, then he kneeled down and bent his head over to stop feeling so faint.  Shaun was supposed to be watching them as well.  What happened to him?  Thor didn't seem to be worried about Bucky's reaction, as he just waited.  After several long minutes Bucky looked up.

"Where is she?"

"They didn't say but they want your help," he said.  "I'm to bring you to a meeting place to go over where they're likely holding her.  I don't want to blow my cover."  He shrugged.  "I like the guys I'm working with.  They're decent men who made a mistake and you helped them to get back on their feet."

"You lied," said Bucky, raising himself. 

"Only about holding heroin, being an ex-con and the FBI," answered Thor.  "I am a college graduate, and I did work summers in construction.  It's been great doing it again.  Didn't realize how much I missed it."

"So, you want me to keep your secret," said Bucky.  "How do I know this isn't a setup?"

"You don't," admitted the other man.  "I just know that this operation has been running for a long time and that it's finally at a point where several different authorities can take action against Pierce and Hydra.  Andrea was never meant to be part of it.  Her involvement was just one of those things that happen in life when an innocent person walks into something bigger than them.  Unfortunately, her kidnapping is likely to trigger the enforcement stage of the operation and that could put her life in jeopardy.  We need to get her and the baby to safety as soon as possible."

"Alright," said Bucky.  "I'll come with you but if anything happens to her or to Lily, I'll go after Pierce and Rumlow myself.  I won't wait on any law enforcement to do their job."

"Fair enough," said Thor.  "What should we tell the others?"

"You leave that to me," said Bucky.  "Meet me at my car."

They left the powder room and Thor headed out to where Bucky's car was parked.  Several minutes later, Bucky appeared and unlocked the car remotely.  After they were inside, Thor gave him the address and they were on their way.  Minutes later, everyone at the job site came out the front door, led by Clint Barton.  He apologized to the electrician who was being sent home then locked up the brownstone. 

"Scott, go to the hospital and get Shaun," he said.  "Bring him to the warehouse."

The rest of the men from Barnes Construction got back into the company trucks and headed to the warehouse.  Even though the drive wasn't all that long, it seemed to take forever to get there.  Sam was waiting and left the back door unlocked for them as he went back inside.  As Clint led the others inside, he was glad at how they even called in the guys who were on the city payroll but associated with them.  It seemed that everyone was being called in to this.  Steve got on top of the table and looked around at all of them.

"So, Rumlow has taken Andrea and Lily," he said.  "Thor is an undercover FBI agent who claims that the company isn't under investigation.  I knew there was something off about him, but one of us convinced me that he was okay." 

He nodded at Sam, who went through the hallway to the main office.  He returned with Mrs. Parker, who seemed surprised at the assembly.  She turned to leave but Sam blocked her exit.  Resigned, she turned back to them, then saw her nephew, Peter, who looked at her as if she were a traitor, apparently not knowing she was a planted agent.

"The enemy of your enemy is your friend," she said, out loud.  "I'm not your enemy, never was."

"But you're not who you seem to be," said Steve.  "Rumlow kidnapped Andrea and Lily and shot Shaun, as well as an investigator with the DA's office.  Are you working for Pierce?"

"No, never," she said.  "I have much to hate about him.  He's the reason I'm a widow.  He's the reason I agreed to join the company and take over from Mrs. Barnes.  He's the reason why I've done my best to keep you knuckleheads from getting in too deep."

"Well then," said Steve.  "You have five minutes to explain it to us.  Then we're going to war with Hydra."

"Which you'll lose," she answered, "and every bit of good will that has been built up over the years to keep the law off your backs will have been for nothing.  Do you want to all end up in prison again?  Because if you go up against Hydra, that's what will happen.  They have a lot of people in their pocket, police, judges, military ... and you boys, as well intentioned as you are, don't have the one thing they do."  She scanned each of their faces, lingering longest on her nephew.  "You don't have the killer instinct.  None of you do."

"Aunt May, we can't just sit back and do nothing," said Peter, his earnest face reflected in several others.

"I'm not asking you to," she sighed.  "I'm asking you to be smart about it.  Take them down, but don't take them out.  Don't stoop to their level." 

Steve jumped off the table and stood in front of this woman whom he had trusted for ten years. 

"Does Mrs. Barnes know about you?" Mrs. Parker nodded.  "She knows more, doesn't she?"

"Yes, but she'll have to tell you as it's not my place."  She waved her hand around gesturing at the warehouse.  "This has taken years to setup and if you do the wrong thing now, you can undo all that work and Pierce, Rumlow, Sitwell ... all of those predators will get away with it."

"Then what can we do?" he asked.  "What will keep all of us out of prison but keep them occupied?"

She smiled.  "Misdemeanours.  Trespassing, blocking driveways with vehicles, minor vandalism, such as letting the air out of tires, broken windows, blocking doors from the outside, throwing rotten fruit ... you know, just being little shits, really."

He smiled with her.  "We can do that.  I'm sorry for thinking you worked for Pierce."

"Don't be," she said.  "I'm surprised I kept you guys fooled for as long as I did.  You let me tell my superiors that we're going to mount a little campaign of distraction while they work out how to get Andrea and Lily out of there before they go in."

At that moment, Scott came in, with Shaun, who wore a sling protecting the injury on his arm.  Mrs. Parker shook her head at him.  She warned Fury this could happen and repeated it to Ross when she called him after Steve and Sam questioned her.

🙎‍♂️🙎🏻‍♂️🙎🏼‍♂️🙎🏽‍♂️🙎🏾‍♂️

In the car, Bucky was surprised when he pulled up to the warehouse of one of his construction suppliers.  He looked sideways at Thor, who shrugged.

"Couldn't have you using stolen goods for your legitimate jobs," he said.  "They did their best not to incriminate you or anyone at Barnes Contracting.  Took years to setup but it was necessary."

He parked and the two men entered a side door.  Inside, in the middle of pallets of wood was what appeared to be a command post.  Most of the people there were unknown to him, but he recognized Nick Fury, who nodded wordlessly at him.  A short man with greying hair approached Bucky, offering his hand.

"Everett Ross, special agent in charge of this operation.  We don't have time to bring you up to speed on how we set this up, but your mother should be here soon and can explain it to you.  In the meantime, we have several locations identified where Andrea Hart and her baby girl may have been taken.  We understand you know Hydra's locations fairly well."

Glancing at the large screen monitor that displayed several locations, Bucky shook his head at all of them except one. 

"You're sure that it was Rumlow that took her?"

"Yes, our operative phoned it in before he lost consciousness.  Why?"

"If it was Pierce, he would have taken her to his home.  He's all about family and he's often shown in public with his grandchildren and younger nieces and nephews.  It's part of his image that he's this friendly, older family man.  Brock is a different type entirely.  He's nasty and mean.  Doesn't care about either of them but I figure this is aimed at me because he knows that I killed his father."

"Say what?" Everett Ross looked at Fury.  "What's he talking about?"

"You didn't kill Henry Rumlow," said Fury.  "I know that for a fact."

"I pointed the gun at him," said Bucky.  "I was six, although it wasn't until they reported on his body being discovered near the river that I recognized him as the man who was hurting my dad that night.  I remember the hits, and the yelling and the blood after.  I took his dad's life, so he's going to take Andrea's life to hurt me."

"You didn't kill Henry Rumlow," said his mother's voice, as she entered, flanked by Natasha and Maria, who both shrugged at him.  "You brought George's gun out and pointed it at Rumlow, but the safety was on, and he aimed his gun at you, planning to shoot you right there.  There was no way your father was going to let him hurt you.  George fought Rumlow to protect you, then that criminal's own gun went off and he bled out on the kitchen floor."  Her eyes filled up with tears.  "All these years, you thought you killed a man?"

Bucky's lips trembled as he relived that night, then he closed his eyes and sobbed, finally remembering the missing parts that always eluded him.  His mother enclosed him in her arms and rubbed his back.  She murmured into his ears as he wept, then took a tissue out of her purse and dabbed at his tears before looking at the assembled law enforcement task group.

"Henry Rumlow was there looking for diamonds that were supposed to be kept in evidence, but he had been suspected of stealing from the evidence locker, so Nick Fury asked my husband, an old army buddy, to hold them.  Someone must have seen Fury leave our house because Rumlow showed up in the middle of the night with a thug and began working George over to give them up.  He never did.  The other man attacked George, and he was forced to kill him as well.  He and a trusted friend took their bodies to the river, staged it to look like they fought each other, then placed Rumlow's gun back in his hand.  George told Nick what he did right away."

"I told the DA at the time, and he agreed it was self defence, so no charges were laid.  It was felt that charges for moving the bodies would expose the family to action from Pierce, so no charges were laid for that either.  Pierce always had his suspicions, but nothing could be proved."

Ross looked at Fury, then at the others and shrugged.  "I'm guessing the statute of limitations has run out for those charges anyway, and since it was your husband who did it and he's dead, it's a moot point."  He looked at Bucky.  "Now, where do you think Rumlow has your girlfriend?"

"His favourite strip club," said Bucky, taking his phone out.  "I have a guy on my payroll there.  He texted me before I headed out with Thor."  Ross frowned, looking at Thor who shrugged.  The strip club information was enlarged on the monitor.  Bucky realized that the detail on it was something that only an insider could provide.  "There's something else you should know.  I told my guys at the job site and my two partners.  They're headed over there."  Several groans of disbelief erupted before Bucky put up his hand.  "If you want me to call them off, you have to let me go there, on my own."

"Bucky, no," said his mother, placing her hand on his cheek.  "All of this was to free Barnes Contracting from ever having to resort to anything illegal again.  It was what your father wanted, for you and the company to be legitimate.  He was so proud of you for getting your journeyman's papers and working to get your contractor's license.  It's why we let them use the company to act as a front to keep Hydra under surveillance."

"Remember I told you that I would go legit if I had Andrea in my life?"  He searched her face.  "I would go to prison to keep her safe, Ma.  That's how much I love her and Lily.  If I have to kill Brock to do it, she's worth it."

As his mother hugged him, he looked over her shoulder at Natasha and Maria.  Both women nodded their head at him, understanding the depth of his love.  As a heated discussion grew louder behind him, he began to plan how he would get Andrea and Lily, who was his daughter in every way but one, out of the hands of Brock Rumlow.  For the first time he could remember, the thought of spilling blood didn't make him sick.

Part 9>>

Series Masterlist

Please support the author by reblogging.

[goingsunnythousandmerry]

Satoru Gojo X Suguru Geto - Fluff/Yearning/Angst/Pain

Authors Note: Hey friends! I know I am still behind on requests. It is next on my list. I apologize, school has taken more time than I planned. Anyways, I've gotten really into Jujutsu Kaisen lately so I wrote this for my best friend yesterday when Mr. Loverman was stuck in my head. She thought I should share it.

Hope you all enjoy and I'm sorry it HURTS.

Warnings: Umm if you don't want to be sad don't read.

Lots of YEARNING.

These characters are not mine they belong to the great Gege Akutami.

The above image isn't mine, credit to who it belongs to will give it if I am told.

Summary: Memory reflection of the friendship of Gojo and Geto and the words left unsaid.

Song listened to while writing:

Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery featuring Chloe Moriondo

Hope you all Enjoy! Thanks for Reading!

***

How can two people know what love is if they’ve never seen it themselves?

The small classroom was empty except for two occupied wooden desks. Two men sat across from each other, separated by a few desks. The smell of freshly erased chalk lingered throughout the room.

Gojo looked at Geto and the clouds seemed to stop moving in the sky behind him. Geto spoke about his passions like the world at his feet could never crumble. The faint echo of the wind outside was erased by the warmth of Geto’s smile. Whenever Geto spoke, Gojo’s eyes shone like sunbeams piercing through deep water—soft, scattered, and alive with that lingering glimmer just before you break the surface. Geto’s morals and ideals were always  grounded in the possibility of others around them, but never their possibilities. 

The room suddenly felt too wide, like there was too much space between them, too much distance. Gojo stood, stretching, the movement drawing a faint breath from him as his eyes flicked back to Geto, who hadn’t stopped speaking.

Geto’s bangs hung loosely over his forehead, brushing the lids of his purple eyes. Gojo always hated his speeches, but he still listened. They were the strongest, that was all that ever mattered to Gojo, but Geto saw more. He saw more in Gojo than just what he was capable of, he saw who he was. Geto laughed as Gojo began slowly strolling across the room toward him, making some remarks about his moral compass. Geto’s eyes followed him, every step from Gojo drawing his focus tighter. Geto wasn’t sure what he was saying, he was too distracted by Gojo’s confident stride. His breath quickened, the muscles in his leg trembled, and his mind raced as Gojo approached.

Gojo’s gaze was steady as he crossed the room, his feet sure but slow. Gojo stopped in front of Geto with a sigh and the offering of a sarcastic comment. He watched Geto chuckle softly, shrugging his muscular shoulders in response. His laugh like the steady drum of a heartbeat, warm, constant, and grounding. With a quiet exhale, Gojo placed a hand on Geto’s shoulder, his gaze drifting toward the window behind them. 

“Satoru.” Geto whispered.

Geto’s voice lingered on his name, like a breath shared only between them, warm and familiar in the quiet space. His voice always made Gojo's mind reel. Those two syllables explained why Gojo constantly acted out. He wanted Geto to say his name and never stop. But within the silence between the lingering of his name and the moments when Gojo spoke Geto's, there were words left unspoken—feelings too uncertain to be named.

***

Gojo stood and stared at the puddle at his feet. In the water’s reflection were the colors of his memories with Geto– the bike rides, the curse hunting, the pranks– the echo of it all blending into a beautiful canvas. But at the heart of it all, always, was that day in the classroom—frozen in his mind, looping endlessly in the silence of his solitude.

A drop of water broke from the overhang above and splashed into the puddle, sending ripples across the reflection. His smile faltered as the moment cracked, the ache in his chest deepening with the memory of being too late to save him. He was always too late. 

“I wish I had told you.” His voice raw and quiet, a whisper to no one blending with the sound of the rain that began falling again. “I miss you now that you’re gone, Suguru.”

“Gojo-Sensei!” Yuji called his name and Gojo shook the thoughts from his mind.

[lucykuoart]

My opinion may be rude, but I will try to explain, because after reading it, I realized something. Marcoh...I either see absolute yaoi about him, or nothing. Guys, I'm not against ships, although I'm probably considered a radical and a villain, which is just wow Marcoh/Olivia. But really, most of the content that I see is the creation of some kind of stereotypical image in Marcoh, ignoring his many qualities. The only ones who expressed their interests in a way that is interesting, of course, are the authors of Marcoh/Pav, to my surprise, and one of the authors of Daan/Marcoh fanfiction, whose works sometimes draw art. I know how to consume and enjoy such content, this has happened before, my friends know lol

Well, I was told that Marcoh and Olivia are exclusively like brother and sister. Have those who speak done a lot of such content? Now there are a little more drawings with, for example, the fact that he is trying to carry her, but still not enough. And they are closer than they seem, at least think about what caused them to be here - sisters. Olivia never says this, but Marcoh is exclusively to her, yes, but their relationship may just be humanly interesting. And other characters, especially female ones, fendom doesn't seem to want to see him with them

And they also told me that he's 31, he doesn't have anyone, that's why!!!

Or maybe let's remember his story and the fact that he has been raising his sister since the age of 10, he was beaten for attempts at theft and light robbery, he trained, fought at night for her. I want to believe that he had love, but as you can see, it's not like the story of Daan. Yes, Marcoh says very strange things, but in general, he is quite silent and opens up gradually, and not to everyone. He didn't have much time and opportunity to communicate, he didn't even get a school education, which is more than obvious complex

In general, Marcoh would just like to live in a forest house with someone, grow old, train children...let it be with anyone and they will see in him first of all an interesting character

is the fear and hunger fandom ready to talk about the fact that if a character is not easily sexualized/"babygirl"ified they are blatantly ignored by fans, leading to a lot of the interesting side characters to either get pushed aside or simplified into jokes, or do you guys still need to post pocketcat looking cunty a million more times first

[xxplastic-cubexx]

[right to left]

finally finished This Wip from Ever ago and so now i ask you ever look into another dudes eyes and suddenly want to do whatever he wants

[hauntingofhouses]

i think fandoms can be soooo ridiculous a lot of the time (see: all the nonsensical fan wars, discourse, etc) but i cannot understate how much i actually love fandoms.

like yeah it may be super nerdy and even cringe and outsiders look at it like "why tf do you care about these fictional characters so much?"

but 1) my field is literally..... literary studies..... in which all i do is study fiction and analyse it like an insane person, and 2) even if that WASN'T my field, thinking about the stories we consume is important even for any person to do, because thinking about stories exercises our brain to think critically!! why do you think our ancestors used stories as a medium to share knowledge, to propagate moral values and lessons? stories—telling them, thinking about what they're saying, and caring about the characters within them—are all inherent to the human experience!!!

so that brings me to fandom. because we are literally just making these little communities with each other based on our shared love for a particular story, and for a particular character or theme within them that resonated with us, or whatever. we're all here because we loved a thing so much that we built connections from it!!!

like yeah my irl friends laugh at me when i tell them i write fanfic, cuz ha ha what a nerd what a loser etc, but dude. i made genuine real friendships from fandom alone. from just obsessing over two characters we thought were cute together, we've gone to sending each other gifts and postcards and having voice calls and confiding in each other and sharing parts of us and our personal lives and our cultures (cuz we're all from different countries) with each other! like now i don't even share a fandom with most of my old fandom friends anymore but we still stick by each other and that's amazing???

also like, i cannot emphasise enough how amazing and encouraging it is to share your craft (art/writing/etc) with others in fandom. because for example if i make my own personal art or write my own original work, i'd have no one to share it to, no one interested to see it, and thus no one will be there to provide feedback or encouragement.

but if i post a piece of fan art or fanfic, people actually do see the work i post and care about the craft and the content it's depicting and even share their thoughts on it and that ??? is so motivating and lovely ??? because even though i make art for myself, art is still meant to be shared and seen at the end of the day—even if only with one person. so to be given the means of sharing our art in such a way, to have such a community that fosters so much creativity, it's amazing. i don't really get that anywhere else.

and especially to have this in like, a casual setting, you know, where you can just be yourself and do things according to your own time and energy without the pretenses of professionalism and a perfectly curated resume or portfolio, and all the confines of a rigid work schedule, which would all make the process of creation less fun and less genuine, and instead just more taxing and chore-like.

because fandom is essentially meant to be about doing what's fun for you! it's about sharing your creations and enjoying what others share with you. you make friends and you go ham with it.

and also it's why it's more frustrating when people take things too seriously and legitimately get upset over assumptions of other people's beliefs and hold the most minor grievances that could only be felt if you're like, chronically online.

but on that note, there are definitely still honest-to-god bad people in fandom spaces too (see: racists, TERFS, homophobes, groomers, harassers, etc). but that's the case with all communities, because bad people are always going to exist, and thus statistically speaking, the bigger a group or community is, higher chances are there's gonna be some awful people in there. but honestly that is its own can of worms and also that's not what this post is about, but i felt it necessary to address because i don't want to paint fandom as like, the best thing ever in the world, because fandom spaces are incredibly flawed, as everything is.

but i've always been one to appreciate things despite its flaws. and though this may be very personal to me, when i love things so much, i am still willing to stick around and try to change the culture around it in the ways that i can (like promoting internet safety measures, creating safe spaces for thoughtful and polite discussion, raising awareness on harmful stereotypes and fandom depictions or opinions, etc).

so regardless of the bullshit that online fandom spaces tend to perpetuate, i do very much still love the way that fandom allows me to connect with folks over something as silly as our little blorbos, and from there end up making life-long friends, or at the very least new acquaintances. insert reinforcement of my thesis statement about stories fostering human connection here. the end. send post.

[loppiopio]

the chances of the people seeing this aren't super likely so this is highly inefficient but i'm too afraid to approach people personally…. yet i've been burning with the need to express my gratitude for the tags i've received individually somehow and figured, i could do it the way i do best. in the tags 😅

(sorted by most recent) (i capped the limit hard here) (some ✂️✂️ had to be done 😔) (i still like this format a lot though) (might do this again in the future idk would people like that??) (i hope it's not mortifying for anyone……..)

it's sorta the way i like it, indirect and unimposing, even if it's kinda. wieldy. but it's just on my blog so anything goes right? although in saying that, i am open to being imposed on. like if someone wants to talk about aci or something, like other fic?? i'm a big fic fiend. or anything else lol not sure what else you'd wanna chat about since so much of the stuff i've put out is just. about fic. but hey, if you're a person i don't mind being approached :>

(lol the way i've made this like a *throws out a bunch of paper slips* find your's 🎉) (might be obnoxious hm) (sorry...) (find your's if you want though 🫡)

[oceanwithouthermoon]

tired of being called boring cuz i hate toxic ships </33 im sorry i get triggered easily by stuff like that brah, the most toxic my ships r allowed to get before i get triggered is a lil possessiveness and a hint of unhealthy codependency 🤭 beyond that, i literally get sick to my stomach lmao..

do what u want but anyone whose never been abused before does NOT get the right to call ME boring for not liking abusive ships..

[anemone-ships]

sorry for always writing essays in the tags of every imagines post i reblog. it Will happen again /silly

[skitskatdacat63]

hi hello!! I will be predictable :D vettonso? and also maybe sebson?🤭

Hallo Grace!! Aaaahh two of my ultimate favs 🥹

Vettonso:

Okay I think we all know at this point my feelings on vettonso.....My beloved, my favs, my little dolls to play around with, my forever ship, my muse, etc etc. Lmao tho I do agree w you said in your answer to me, that I feel obviously more invested in my AUs of them atp, but that's not to say I don't like the canon! The canon for me is just desperately searching for any footage/pics of them and being peak derangement abt it and making a whole narrative. Yeah I'm very normal about them. Also yeah, i like the ship itself, but I'm not a very romantic person so I think I often care more about the implications and how they relate to each other, and that kinda thing, if that makes sense? I care deeply abt them, but yknow make a lot of AUs, and the most fun I have is often trying to fit their narrative into different environments! One day I'll draw more shippy stuff I swear 🤧🤧 They are just perfect to me :)

Sebson:

One of my first loves 🥹🥹 I still really love them aaaahhh!!!! They're just so soft and fluffy and comforting to me!!! Obligatory Solar Flare mention. But yeah it's hard, just like the other ship above, to articulate my thoughts about them that isn't just screaming. It's just so fun to look at all the content along the years and see how they gravitate towards each other. To me, they're the 21st century blueprint for emotional support rivals 🥹🥹 Also, sending them to superhell for the amount of insane things they've done in public.

[todayisafridaynight]

i feel like the hello kitty doesnt do xanax post whenever i check the minedai tag on ao3 what is the obsession with piss im in agony

why did you just read my mind jesus fucking christ get out of my head youre so right tho this is so accurate and i feel this every day of my life and i feel insane and like im the one perceiving them weirdly so thank you anon for letting me know that im normal