#I love meeting people who are in multiple of the same fandoms as I am

[theoneandonlyneonleon]

What do you think it’d be like if tmnt 2012 and Deadpool met? In the circumstances they were in the same universe and the same city, ofc. I’m also in both of these fandoms it’s so cool you are too!

I thinkkkkk..... (last time I watched 2012 was like 8 years ago and I'm just rewatching it now so bear with me)

Mikey and DP might get along bc their both jokesters

Raph might like him bc violence

Donnie would definitely be fascinated by Wades mutations and powers

Anddd I don't really know about Leo... I need to psychoanalyze him a bit more.....

Either way I would absolutely watch a DP x tmnt 2012 crossover

[spooky-bunnys]

So I'm bad with this thing, but I wanted to request a bonten where their husband is an omega only different from the others, as he is not sensitive and he orders bonten to obey (imagine him ordering him around in a meeting and random leaders are outraged by an omega ruling bonten) sorry for my english, i'm not of the english language

Title: I am Bonten

Fandom: Tokyo Revengers

Pairing: Bonten x O!Male Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Weapons, and Sexist Assholes.

Bonten was tired of this meeting already. The only thing going through most of their heads. They left their gorgeous Omega in their bed, for this meeting? It was all they could think about. It was only a matter of time before two things happen.

Either Mikey gets tired of the meeting and snaps, or (Name) comes in. The excutives didn't care which happened. They were just ready for the meeting to end. All they wanted to do was eat (Name)'s delicious food and finish the multiple piles of paperwork that was waiting on the Omega's desk.

Since their Omega was their assistant after many fails. They had their mate become their assistant and its made Bonten's work easier for them. Which made their lives easier if they were being honest. Since they finally had an assistant that wasn't just trying to sleep their way to the top. But also wasn't afraid to put them in their place.

As the company leader in front of them cleared his throat, probably to get their attention since it looked like almost nobody was paying attention. The door to the meeting room was kicked open. While Bonten didn't jump, knowing who it is and very used to the action. Their guest was not expecting the interruption.

Which lead to (Name) almost getting shot, if he hadn't already started making his way over to Bonten. But from what the excutives could tell, someone messed up. Most we're willing to bet it was one of the three idiots. "OI! Haruchiyo!" Said male perked up only to have the collar of his shirt grabbed. (Name) yanked Sanzu from his seat and glared at him.

The other members quietly laughed at his facial expression. Very quietly so they wouldn't get on their Omega's bad side again. "Why was in when I came into work expecting finished paperwork on my desk, I see the others have finished some paperwork. But nothing from you? As Bonten's second your supposed to set an example. Not FUCKING GOOF OFF!"

As (Name) shook Sanzu violently. The other watched like this was an everyday thing. Which is probably was true with how much Sanzu avoids his paperwork. Before (Name) knew it he was forcibly removed from Sanzu and thrown to the ground. The excutives jumped up to help but Mikey raised his hand.

Mikey of all people knew what happened if someone puts their hands on (Name). As someone who knew (Name) from his childhood, he knew how (Name) was raised. (Name) was an Omega not to be tried with. He'd learned the hard way how different he was from other Omega's.

(Name) glared at the towering figure and slowly got up. "Excuse you. But what the hell do you think you're doing putting your hands on me?" The air in the room immediately grew cold. The company chuckled. "You're excused Omega. Now leave so we can continue this meeting." (Name)'s glare hardened. "No. Get out."

The company leader busted out in laughter. "An Omega like you can't make us leave!" (Name) practically snarled. As he tried stepping closer to the peader only for the same male from earlier to get in his way. Making (Name) snap.

Bonten watched with smirks as (Name) threw the guard to the ground. They loved when (Name) got like this. It reminded them why they loved him so much. (Name) quickly took care of the other guards. After the last guard was down, (Name) stalked towards the leader. The Company leader looked furious as (Name) got into his face.

"I told you to get out. That was me being nice. Now," (Name) pulled out a gun and held it under the leader chin. "Either you leave and take your guys with you, or I blow your brains on the wall and your guys go to the basement." He pressed the gun harder. "You're choice bitch."

Mikey motioned the guys forward. Sanzu carefully wrapped his arms around (Name)'s waist while whispering something into his ear and kissed his neck. While making direct eye contact with the leader. (Name) huffed and pulled the gun away and growled. "Fine. Get this asshole out of my building."

The leader scoffed while ribbing his chin. "Your building?! This building belongs to Bonten!" (Name) with a straight face pulled down the collar of his turtle neck. Showing not only a bite mark, but in the middle of the bite was a tattoo. Bonten's tattoo to be exact. "I AM Bonten. Now leave while I'm still in a good mood."

Sanzu nodded to the others who got the guests to leave. Once they were gone, Sanzu turned (Name) around and gave him a sweet kiss. "Do you know how much we love you?" (Name) stares at him. "A lot. Do you know how much paperwork you need to do?" Sanzu stared. "Is it a lot?" (Name) nodded and Sanzu groaned. Laying his head on (Name)'s shoulder.

[punkeropercyjackson]

My audhd brain won't stop telling me to do a full breakdown of the parallels between Percy and Hobie so i will.Alright,let's do this one last time!

Troubled but good kids

Afro-dominican New Yorker/Jamaican-English(NY and England are where punk first started)

Anarchists,proffessional instigators,always helping out around communities(it's implied Percy participated in Rachel's protests and charities with her)and looking out for the little guy

So they're actual punks instead of just EdgyTM douchebags because they wanna do the right thing no matter what

No masking game autistics

Trans femmes who come across as masc only to normies

Chillaxed and super kind and love cute shit and people but also have major street credit,a huge edge and strong as fuck backbones and the reason they're so kind is that their childhood was beyond brutal so as they grew up they decided to be the positive older figure in younger people's lives they didn't take to have to the point they turned into Team Dad's

The EXACT same sense of humor

Blue-coded

Alt music lovers

Expressions are always either super intimidating or meme worthy goofy

Pet supernatural dog(Spidermutt and Mrs O'Leary)

Widely regarded as the coolest ever in-universe and correctly so but they're huge dorks when you get down to it but that only makes them even cooler-They were this cool the whole time

6'something with guitarist hands and described as so attractive it's shocking

Go by a nickname instead of their full name and have a common black surname

Oldest and most experienced heroes in their main casts

Hobie's dad is a deadbeat who left him as a baby to do supernatural shit

'I'm not a role model' 'I hate the a.m,i hate the p.m,i hate labels' 'I don't believe in consistency' / 'Was i a troubled kid?Yeah,you could say that' 'I AM impertenent' 'The sea does not like to be restrained'

'Calling yourself a hero makes you self-mythologizing'Hello???????????

Gwen is the Hazel to Hobie's Percy.She's a younger trans girl with a ghost motif who's a pastel ray of sunshine and runs her mouth as much as they do and has a dead mom,an abusive corrupted figure dad and their own impressive experiences in heroism before meeting them

Nico is another teen Ghostkid who Percy gifted a Ramones shirt and gave shelter to multiple times when he was homeless because Hades/Pluto is as much of a fucking cunt as George Stacy is.Nico is also a Miles kinnie because he's an optimistic softboy who's nerdy,a fast food lover and a lot stronger than he gives himself credit for and Percy is the big brother mentor to him the fandom thinks Hobie is to Miles(Nah fr Hobie and Miles are ambigious but Percy's canonically a grown ass man and Nico's Miles' age,P*rcicos pack it up and get over that your ship only works for transfem Percy proof)

Karl=Jason(the cooler St*ve R*gers,the actual voice of reason on the team but just as unhinged as the rest of them,very nice guy vibes and Hobie's righthand),Riri=Annabeth(Black girl genius who takes no shit but is still written as a person instead of a stereotype)and Mattea=Clarisse(red-coded,rowdy tomboy and war paint)

Mayday and Margo are basically just Estelle and Rachel,Jessica makes a pretty convincing Sally and Miguel reminds me of Poseidon but especially when he's interacting with Hobie

Sarcastic troublemaker smiles i've always found endearing(Rip to Annabeth but i'm different)(Also for Hobie i mean this platonically)

Immaculate rizz that's mostly unintentional but reaches critical levels when on purpose

Cocky asf and self-loathing at the same time

That one scene of Hobie leaving Gwen a Watch with the 'In case it don't work out' note with a lil doodle of him on it after getting her dad's ass/Percy sending the Olympians Medusa's head in a box after slaying her with a note saying 'Best wishes' to spite them

Goofy ahh who are nonetheless taken seriously cause Watch Out

They even both have terrible singing voices

And technically not the same thing but Hobie's also pink-coded so they're cotton candy colors and with Percy's white streak they can be the trans flag too!!

[k8lynjoy]

Pro-Damon arguments have always been pretty stupid imo, but an argument I've been seeing a lot more of recently is people saying that they prefer Damon to Stefan- both as a character and as a love interest for Elena- because "Damon was aware that he was a monster whereas Stefan pretended that he wasn't", and I have got to say, this is such a brain dead take.

Let's start by addressing the first part of the claim, that Damon's self-awareness inherently makes him better. No. Believe it or not, being self-aware does not make you a good person, it's what you do with that awareness that does. What does Damon do with his self-awareness? Absolutely nothing. He whines and cries about how much of a monster he is and how he can't change whenever anyone tries to hold him accountable for anything, or he just puts the blame on Katherine or his mother because "they didn't wuv him 🥺👉🏻👈🏻". So, he recognizes that he's a bad person, but then he proceeds to continue to be a bad person anyway...I'm not seeing how this is a good- or even a respectable- thing. Damon also doesn't care! He enjoys murdering and r*ping people. How does someone knowing they're a bad person, and then doing nothing to be better, make them a better person? It doesn't. The logic of that argument is non-existent. And to then go on and say that this is why Elena should choose him?? Why? How does Elena begging Damon to just stop being horrible, and then him responding with "I'm a monster, I'll never change" scream "I'm someone you should be with"?? There's a reason she told him he was the worst choice she would ever make.

Now, for the second part of the claim, which states that Stefan pretends that he is a good person when really, he's a monster. Once again: no. Tell me you don't have general comprehension skills without telling me because Stefan's desperation to hold onto his humanity and morality are very central parts of his character. He recognizes that he's done horrible things and takes full accountability for them. Whenever Elena asks him a question about his past, he's honest with her. He doesn't hide things from her, downplay them, or push the blame onto someone else (and if someone tries to bring up him not initially telling her he was a vampire, I will scream. Because duh! Why would he just be like, "Hey, I'm Stefan, I'm a vampire, nice to meet you!"? Please be serious) He's said the words "I am/was a monster" multiple times on screen - same as Damon - the difference between the two of them is that Stefan does something about it. Stefan trying to be a better person is not him pretending he's never done bad things. It's him trying to atone for all of the bad things that he has done. So, when he says that he's not Damon, It's true! Because he does everything Damon doesn't do when it comes to facing the consequences of his actions. Which also winds up forcing him to face the consequences of Damon's actions as well!

Only in the TVD fandom will you see people say that the guy who actively does the wrong thing in every scenario and who revels in being the bad guy is better than the guy who hates the part of himself that does horrible things and puts all of his effort into being a better person simply because guy #1 is "self-aware".

I hate it here.

[thefandomlesbian]

37 + wilson for the ask game :)

OUCH we're going right for the throat, huh--

This is probably going to be utterly incomprehensible and I am not responsible for any ramifications that arise from answering this question. Allow the word-barf to commence!

#37: What they really think about themselves:

This is such a difficult question to answer because Wilson is a man shrouded in layers upon layers of hiding. This is someone who constantly begs the people around him to be vulnerable with him, to trust him, while simultaneously refusing to ever offer his own vulnerability. And he's good at it. He's good at passing himself off as being close to someone while they never know he has a brother.

House is all walls topped with barbed wire fences and he makes no claims otherwise. Wilson on the other hand is a shimmering oasis. He's fresh water in the desert with shade and fruit. He's nothing but a refreshing illusion. Wilson can be incredibly human while simultaneously more detached than anyone knows. This is aided by the fact that he's a social chameleon, matching whoever he's with, and a natural conscience mirror for the people around him. House calls him out on this multiple times in S5, specifically for being a chameleon who meets the environmental needs of everyone else socially; House asks him, "Who are you at your core?" and then goes on to assert that he thinks Wilson has no core, that his locus of identity has been completely erased in his desperation to meet the needs of others.

Even in S6 when House demands that Wilson choose something to place in their home that he likes... he picks something he knows House likes. "You asked me to tell you who I am, and I am someone who loves you. This is the only answer I know how to give." That's typically the fandom read, but it's important to recognize that this attitude is not unique to House coming from Wilson. He does the same thing with Amber, with Grace (the cancer patient he cares for), with Cuddy during the Rachel adoption arc, with Tucker, with Sam. His existence pivots on his service to other people.

His desperate need to be needed, as House calls it, has a flipside: Wilson can't need anything. From anyone, ever. He can't be vulnerable, which is why he hides himself so effectively. To unveil weaker parts of himself, it would require his loved ones to serve him, to help him, and Wilson cannot cope with the idea of inconveniencing the people in his life. I have written meta in the past on the whole cast's gross mistreatment of Wilson during the Tritter arc. He has no money, no car, living in a hotel that presumably expects weekly payments, no way to buy food or keep himself housed. Everyone attacks him when he finally folds, but none of those people were there to support him, even though his situation was exclusively caused by House lying to and manipulating him. But the thing is... Wilson wouldn't have let them help him. Think of his friendship with Cuddy, how she reveals that she treats him as a confidant (she told him and only him that she slept with her father's best friend) and trusts him not to repeat things to House--but when he arrives to work late from riding the bus, she didn't even know his car was impounded. That sort of friendship is the type you can call to come get you! You don't need to take the bus! Wilson would never dream of reciprocating the relationship she has with him. He's incapable of inconveniencing someone, even to ask for a ride to work or to spot him a five for a sandwich in the cafeteria, even from people he's very close to.

And this all comes to a head in the cancer arc. Wilson is incapable of being needy to the point that he's ready to undergo high dose chemotherapy alone in his own home in a nonsterile environment with no one to monitor him or check on him. In his words: "I am not going to die slowly in a hospital bed under fluorescent lighting with people stopping by to gawk and lie about how I look. Even a small chance of that happening is too big a chance for me." It's funny that later in this episode he says that he wanted a wife and children to care for him, when we know he wouldn't ever allow himself to be so weak in front of his loved ones. House acknowledges this in the same episode.

Wilson's need to serve and his fearful avoidance of being vulnerable all point to an incredibly abysmal sense of self-worth. He says that House doesn't like himself but admires himself, and I don't even think Wilson does that much--as he consistently tries to lie on the sword for everyone around him. RSL says Wilson is the saddest man in New Jersey, and I would agree with that. Wilson has deep-seated issues with his self-esteem. As a wise YA novel once said, we accept the love we think we deserve, and the only love Wilson ever accepts is House's. In S3 after House upends his entire life, it takes one genuine apology to buy him back, because House's love is the only one Wilson knows how to handle. It's the only one he can take without feeling unworthy. All coming to the S8 conclusion: House makes the ultimate sacrifice for Wilson, and Wilson (in spite of having just lambasted House publicly for ostensibly ditching him) argues against it. Wilson says he's not worth the sacrifice. He would rather die alone than have House give up his life for him.

(I could delve into a whole follow-up wrt Wilson's romantic relationships as a gay!Wilson truther, but I've already gone too far and made this unnecessarily long.)

so in short: I wouldn't say Wilson hates himself explicitly, he would consider that vain and self-centered, but he cannot exist outside of serving others. If his utility is gone, he is pointless. I already wrote a long meta on my take on Wilson's suicidality, but that line of thought follows here, too. Wilson thinks his value as a person stems from his ability to care for others and will die sooner than become someone who needs to be cared for.

[captainsophiestark]

Seasons of Love

Dick Grayson x Reader

Materlist - Taglist

Written for my Year of Olympians and part of a bigger challenge being run by @yearofcreation2023​ which features a ton of awesome creators and runs all year! Go check it out, and please pretend I actually posted this in April and not a month late lmao! Final semester of college is a hell of a time

Fandom: DC

Prompt: Demeter; The Seasons, Pigs, Cornucopia, Nature, Poppies

Summary: A LaLaLand-style series of glimpses into the lives of Dick Grayson and Y/N (without the LaLaLand angst).

Word Count: 4,678

Category: Fluff, Humor

A/N: This is my first time writing any DC, Dick Grayson included, so hopefully it’s good and true to character! He’s been one of my absolute faves for a long time, but I’ve just recently gotten the courage to write for him :)

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

LATE SUMMER

I smiled at the kids running around the various animal pens at the fair, smiles on their faces as they got up close and personal with all kinds of different creatures they'd never seen before. Working at the fair outside of Gotham every August was never a walk in the park–and usually included more than one instance of vomit-cleanup–but moments like this made it worth it.

Of course, my coworkers and I were keeping a close eye on everything to make sure the animals and kids were both safe. I was in the pen with the goats helping the kids feed them alfalfa, one of my favorite posts of all time. My reprieve in paradise was interrupted, however, when I heard someone frantically shouting my name.

I turned around to find one of my coworkers coming towards me, waving his hands in the air. He'd originally signed up to be on ticket duty, but had gotten moved to working with the animals thanks to some short-staffing issues. He'd made it clear multiple times he was well outside of his comfort zone, and although he'd been doing a fair job of rising to the occasion, this wasn't the first time he'd come running over in a panic.

I made eye contact and nodded at another coworker who came over to monitor the kids (both goats and humans), then stepped out of the pen to meet Andrew, panic still written all over his face. I took a deep breath and prepared to give him a calming speech, but he spoke again before I could.

"The Wayne kids just let the pigs out of the pen!" he cried.

I just stared at him blankly, trying to process, blinking stupidly.

"The who did what?"

"The Wayne kids!" he continued, still a little breathless. "Well, one or two of them at least. I was standing by the pen with the piglets that are racing in twenty minutes, and the little one managed to let them all out! I didn't notice until it was too late!"

"Okay, uh... I guess stay here."

With that, I started marching towards the pig pen, keeping an eye out for any sign of rampaging piglets. My brain screamed at me to process the "Wayne" part of Andrew's story, but I refused to let it. I needed to deal with the piglets first, regardless of whether the ones who'd let them out were part of the famous billionaire Gotham family.

When I got to the piglet pen, which was nestled just behind the bleachers where people would be able to watch the piglets run around a dirt track later, I found chaos. People were running and shouting all over the place, but the piglets were nowhere to be seen.

"Dami, you go around the left and I'll circle this way-"

"I am not helping you recapture them, Grayson."

"Dami-"

I started to turn to see who was shouting at the same time the shouting cut off, because the shouter ran straight into me like a freight train. We went tumbling to the ground in a heap, and suddenly I found myself staring into the beautiful blue eyes of Gotham's golden boy, Dick Grayson. He smiled at me, and I scowled in response.

"What were you thinking?" I demanded, rolling over and pushing him off me as I moved to stand up. He leapt to his feet and held a hand out to help me, but I ignored it. "Why on Earth would you let the piglets out?"

"I didn't!" he insisted, holding his hands up and looking at me with wide eyes. "My little brother saw them sitting in their pen and decided they needed to be liberated. I've never seen anyone successfully stand in the way of him helping an animal before."

I huffed, continuing to ignore Grayson's gorgeous, charming, easy smile.

"I know you probably don't have a lot of experience with it, but those pigs are treated perfectly well, and they were safe in their pen. Letting them out to run amok in the crowd is putting their well being at risk more than anything else in their lives."

"Tt."

I turned at the sound of an angry, disapproving noise from behind me, then had to do a double-take when I didn't immediately see the person responsible for it. Then, I looked down, and found the youngest Wayne child staring at me with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

"Father has spent enough time working to end the poor treatment of horses at race tracks for me to be unaware of how animals to be raced are treated."

I blinked a few times, honestly not sure how to react to this ten year old staring me down. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Dick Grayson step closer to stand next to me, but I ignored him. Instead, I crouched down to make myself eye level with Damian, the younger one.

"You're right," I said simply. He harrumphed in triumph, but then I continued. "About the horses, I mean. The way they're treated... it's unforgivable. My family and I have rescued any and all of them that we can, and the ones we've managed to save are actually over by the barn right now, being fed all the apples and oats they can eat by the adoring fairgoers."

Damian Wayne's left eyebrow ticked up, the only sign of surprise or approval at my words.

"These piglets, on the other hand, I can promise you are treated perfectly well. They only 'race' at the fair so people can cheer for cute animals. All they know is they're going for a run and then getting all kinds of food and treats afterwards. And honestly, letting them out in the middle of an inexperienced crowd of people is putting them in more danger than anything else in their normal, daily life."

Damian frowned a little, and he opened his mouth and closed it again a few times before finally speaking.

"I... did not intend for them to be in danger. I will return them to their pen."

"It's alright. You were trying to do a good thing for some animals, I could never fault you for that. C'mon, I'll help you get them back."

He nodded, then turned sharply on his heel and set off with purpose in the direction of commotion from fairgoers. I paused to straighten and smiled after him.

"That was really sweet, how you handled that." I turned to see Dick Grayson looking at me, the first serious expression I'd seen from him on his face. "Dami's a good kid, but he's hard on himself about mistakes. Thank you for handling that the way you did."

I gave him a small smile. "Of course. Any animal lover is a friend of mine. I know I literally just met him, but... I could tell he's a good kid."

We shared a smile at that, a more honest and genuine one than the million-watt grin I'd seen from him before. I held his gaze for a second, then sighed and turned back to look at the rest of the fair.

"Alright, enough talking. Let's go catch some piglets."

To my surprise, Grayson actually wasn't half bad at wrangling piglets. He, Damian, and I managed to work well as a team to get each of the little escapees safely back into their pens, and once the task was complete, I left Damian in charge of giving the piglets some treats for their ordeals.

"That was harder than I thought it was going to be," said Dick, coming to stand beside me at the edge of the pen as we watched Damian and the piglets together.

"Yeah, they're quick little buggers. Makes them good racers though."

Dick shot me a smile, and this time, I couldn't help another one spreading across my face too.

"So... this is kind of a subject change, but what are the odds you'd say yes if I asked you to dinner sometime?"

I turned to face him fully now, eyebrows raised. He just grinned back at me.

"You're asking me on a date?"

"Sure am."

"...Alright, sure. You owe me dinner anyway after showing up at my fair and releasing all my piglets."

He laughed. "Fair enough. How does seven o'clock the first night after the end of the fair sound?"

I smiled. "Sounds perfect."

****************

FALL

"You okay? You look like you're about to have a heart attack."

I snapped myself out of my death stare with the cornucopia in the center of the table to face my boyfriend with a vague smile.

"I'm fine," I insisted, waving off his concerns. Dick and I had been dating for a few months now, after meeting at the county fair. It had been absolutely amazing, and I'd gotten to meet a few more of his family members besides Damian since then, all of whom had been just as lovely. Now, however, we were sitting at the dinner table in Wayne Manor for Thanksgiving, and any minute now I'd be thrown into the full Wayne family craziness for the first time.

To say I was nervous would be the understatement of the century.

"Don't worry," said Dick, leaning down to whisper in my ear. "They're going to love you."

I didn't respond, instead taking a second for a deep breath and a last attempt at calming my nerves. Then, the door to the dining room flew open, and the room devolved into chaos.

I got momentarily swept under in the sudden noise, excitement, and energy as the rest of the Wayne kids moved into the room. A second later, Alfred bustled in carrying armfuls of dishes. A few of the kids moved to help him carry in the rest, but only Cassandra and Duke, neither of whom I'd gotten to know very well yet, were actually trusted and allowed to go help in the kitchen.

Dick gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze as he sank into the seat beside mine. I turned to smile at him, but a sudden commotion to my left ripped my attention away.

"Jason, I'M sitting next to her, you already know her well enough!"

"Too late Brown, I'm already sitting."

"Then move-"

Stephanie, who I'd only met briefly a few times in passing, tried to bodily shove Jason out of the chair next to me, but he refused to budge.

"Why are you so heavy Todd-"

"It's called muscle."

"Or it's called-"

"Stephanie, here, why don't you sit across from me?" I suggested, jumping in before things could really escalate. "It'll be easier to eat and talk to you at the same time from there anyway, which means we can keep up our conversation with fewer interruptions."

She narrowed her eyes, clearly aware of what I was doing, but I just kept looking at her with a beaming smile on my face (and thankfully Jason didn't interject). After a second, she huffed a dramatic sigh and started to move around the table.

"Fine. But only because Alfred would be upset if I tipped Jason backwards out of his chair before Thanksgiving dinner even started."

I grinned at her, quickly passing some food over to Jason, too, so he wouldn't take the opportunity to rub in his victory. Once we were safely out of the danger zone, Dick leaned over to whisper in my ear and give me a sly high five.

"Impressive," he said. "If you can pull that off, you'll be fine for the rest of the night."

I turned to give him a more forced smile than I'd given Stephanie. I appreciated the vote of confidence, but nothing that had happened over the past few minutes had done much to calm my nerves.

"Alright, is that all the food?" asked Bruce, clapping his hands and surveying the table as everyone at last settled into their seats. We'd almost had another disaster when Dami tried to bump Jason out of the seat next to me after Stephanie failed, but thankfully we'd managed to avert that crisis, too, with a promised trip to my family's farm tomorrow, just me, him, and Dick.

"Yeah, I think that's everything B," said Dick, looking over the table the same way his dad did. Bruce sighed, then sank into his seat and clapped his hands.

"Alright, then let's eat," he said.

"Don't forget, Master Bruce," started Alfred, at last sinking into his seat at the opposite head of the table from Bruce. "We still need to say the things we're thankful for."

"You're right, Alfred. Thank you for reminding me." He finished scooping a serving of stuffing onto his plate, then looked up. "I'll start.

"I'm thankful for all of you, safe and sitting around the table for dinner. And I'm also thankful that Y/N could join us. I think we're all looking forward to getting to know her better."

He gave me a kind smile and tipped his wine glass in my direction, and I tried to smile back despite the fact that my heart was pounding in my chest. I'd met Bruce a few times before, but he was still my boyfriend's dad AND Gotham's favorite son (other than maybe Dick). I couldn't help being nervous, since his approval was one of the ones that mattered most to me.

"Alright, that's great," said Jason, bowling right through the moment of silence that hung after Bruce's words–my hero. "I'm thankful for Alfred's cooking."

Every single one of us around the table cheered our agreement at that, and Alfred smiled. The turns moved quickly around the table after that. I had a brief moment of panic when it became my turn, but thankfully, it only lasted for a second before I managed to pull it together.

"I'm thankful for Dick, and for all of you letting me join your family holiday celebrations. I can't wait to get to know you guys better."

Everyone smiled at my answer, and as soon as the spotlight was off me, Dick took my hand under the table to give me a little reassurance. The conversation moved on from Thanksgiving gratitudes, and slowly, I gained confidnence and comfort participating as a member of the group.

I asked Dami about his pets and was honestly happy to listen for the better part of an hour. Jason and I ranted like the biggest nerds on the planet over our favorite books and our TBR piles, and Tim and I connected over a mutual childhood love of Nancy Drew computer games. Duke was the easiest person in the world to talk to, and he made a point of including me in conversations when I started to feel a little lost. Stephanie was so bubbly and friendly, even when she was not-so-subtly grilling me on my entire life, and although Cassandra seemed a little less eager to loudly jump into conversations with me, Stephanie helped bridge the gap and we got along wonderfully. Although they made me a little more nervous, Bruce and Alfred were also nothing but welcoming and kind. It wasn't too long before I was completely at ease, laughing and joking along with the whole table without a doubt about whether I belonged there.

Even when it came to the most ridiculous debates I'd ever been a part of.

"I'm just saying, capes look cheesy," said Jason. "It's fine for a little kid, but grown adults running around in capes look ridiculous."

Stephanie scowled like he'd just insulted her mother. "Oh yeah, because all the vigilantes running around in vests look so incredibly cool."

"No kidding," Tim jumped in. "Red Hood, for example. We all remember that terrible red pill helmet he wore when he first showed up. Or Nightwing's Discowing suit?"

Stephanie snorted into her drink, and Dick's mouth dropped open in shock. Jason started going a little red in the face.

"Brown and Drake are right," said Dami, his tone conveying he meant for this to be the final word on the matter. "The capes can serve a number of different purposes, and would be ridiculous to remove."

He turned to give Dick a pointed look, but I decided not to try to decipher it. I had more important things on-hand.

"Honestly, I say this with nothing but love for the three of you, but I have to agree with Jason," I started, finally jumping in. Everyone perked up at that, turning their attention to me, but I didn't let it deter me. "I mean, haven't any of you seen The Incredibles? No capes! There's like a whole minute-long thing on why capes are generally a bad idea for superheroes.

"And granted, we haven't seen anything like that happen in real life, at least as far as I know," I continued. "And maybe it doesn't matter as much for the indestructible heroes–Superman could probably get chewed up by a jet and survive, I guess. But other heroes, I don't know what they're doing! Somebody really outta show Batman that clip, make sure he knows the danger he and his Robins and everybody might be in."

Everybody stared at me for a second, faces blank, and I started to sweat thinking I'd said something wrong. Then, people broke out into variations of grins, laughs, and agreement with my point that Batman really needed to be more aware.

"I don't know if I remember that clip very well," mused Dick, grinning at Bruce and then the rest of the table as he slid an arm around my shoulder. "Could you pull it up?"

"Sure!"

"Hey Dick?" called Stephanie across the table, her voice dancing with laughter as I searched for the video. "I think I speak for all of us when I say, I love her."

Murmurs of agreement sounded around the table, and my face warmed. I glanced up to give an appreciative smile before going back to my video hunt.

"You better marry her, or we'll have to make Todd do it to keep her in the family," Stephanie continued.

My heart stopped dead in my chest for a second at the idea of marriage as everyone around the table laughed or agreed with her. Then, I couldn't help smiling and laughing too, especially as Jason faked a yawn and stretched his arm around my shoulders before having it playfully smacked away by Dick. My boyfriend pulled me a little closer into his side and gave me a soft smile.

"Alright, let's see this clip," he said, addressing the group as they kept snickering together. "B, lean in here, I think you'll really like this one."

Bruce sighed heavily, but leaned in anyway as the rest of the group shifted too. Edna Mode launched into her speech as I held out my phone screen, Dick and his family gathered around me, and my heart absolutely swelled with love for every one of them. Dick and I really hadn't been dating long enough to be seriously thinking about marriage, but still- in this moment, I could start to picture it.

And I really liked the picture.

****************

WINTER

Whap!

Dick, my boyfriend of a little over two years, whirled around with a betrayed look on his face after I nailed him in the back with a snowball.

"Babe," he whined, his tone wounded. I just shrugged.

"It's training. You need to be aware of your surroundings. CONSTANT VIGILANCE and all that."

Dick raised his eyebrows and took a step towards me as a mischievous grin took over my face. A few months ago, when Dick and I had first seriously started talking about the possibility of marriage being the result of our relationship, he'd finally let me in on the Wayne family secret: not only was I dating the famous Dick Grayson, I was also dating Nightwing the vigilante. The Wayne family was one in the same as Batman and his extended vigilante posse. The few conspiracy weirdos on the internet insisting Bruce Wayne Is The Batman were right.

When he'd started to tell me, I'd first thought he was proposing. He'd been so serious and dramatic, and he'd done it at the end of a romantic, candlelit dinner we'd made together in my apartment. Then, once I realized what he was actually saying, my second thought had been oh, so that's why everyone loses their minds whenever I voice an opinion on a superhero.

At first, it had been a little hard to cope with the new worry that came with knowing my boyfriend put his life on the line every single night. News reports about the Bats and their enemies raised my anxiety WAY more than they ever had before. But Dick had been wonderful, reassuring me and helping me understand all the ways he'd found to stay safe and come back to me. And when that wasn't quite enough, the rest of his family stepped up to support me like one of their own.

Now, a few months after learning their secret, Dick and I were taking a rare full weekend for ourselves. We'd headed up to the mountains for some skiing, hot chocolate, and cuddling by the fire at his family's cabin, just the two of us. After a morning on the slopes and a delicious lunch, we'd decided to go on some of our favorite snowy hiking trails to take in the fresh mountain air.

Hence, my start of the snowball fight.

"You know, I'm pretty sure I'm the one who's supposed to be training you," said Dick, closing the distance between us further. He and his family had been giving me self-defense training at my request, but we'd decided to take a break for the weekend.

"Mmm I'm not sure," I said, shifting backwards a bit to get out of Dick's reach. "I think I'm right."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Then you probably have the better reflexes out of the two of us, right?"

I knew exactly where this was going. I grinned and tried to get my head in the zone before I answered, overconfident to the last.

"Definitely."

"Hm." Dick smiled at me, and then the next thing I knew, he'd wrapped his arms tightly around my waist before I had a second to react. I half-heartedly tried to wiggle free, but before I could, Dick picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I held on to him as tightly as I could, ready for him to dump me in a snow bank and ready to drag him down with me when he did. But the flip into the snow never came. Instead, Dick started walking with me still slung over his shoulder.

"Babe? What are you doing?" I asked, trying to push myself up enough to see where we were going. "I was all ready to wrestle you down into the snow with me."

"Just trust me," he said. Even though I couldn't see it, I could hear the smile on his face. I huffed.

"This isn't exactly comfortable, you know."

Dick just chuckled. We walked a few more steps, then at last, Dick set me down again, keeping his hands around my waist as we stood chest to chest.

"I may have lured you out into the woods under false pretenses," he said, a brilliant smile on his face. I raised an eyebrow.

"If I didn't trust you so much, I might be a little worried."

He smiled, then looked at a point over my shoulder before nodding for me to turn around. I did as his hands dropped from my waist, and I came face to face with his whole family standing around the gorgeous snowy clearing. Each of them held candles or roses in their hands, and they were absolutely beaming at me. I looked at each of them, waiting for some hint or answer about what was happening, but no one gave me anything. Then, I heard Dick's voice from behind me.

"Y/N?"

When I turned, I found my lovely, wonderful boyfriend down on one knee before me, an open ring box in his hands.

My hands flew to my mouth and I started to tear up a little as the situation sank in. Dick smiled, his own eyes a little wet as he continued.

"You are the love of my life. I had no idea when I first accidentally tackled you that you would become the most important person in the world to me, but you have. You make me a better version of myself, and every day I can hardly believe I'm really with you. You not only match me and love me, but you do the same with my family, which truly not many people can do. I can't think of a better person or partner I'd want to go through life with. So will you please do me the honor... of marrying me?"

"Baby... of course! Absolutely yes!" I cried, the tears fully flowing now as I dropped to my knees in the snow to join Dick. I threw my arms around him and held him tight, and both of us stayed like that for a few long moments before Dick pulled back, tears glistening on his cheeks and a smile on his face. He pulled me tightly to him and kissed me. I kissed back, running my hands through his hair as we got lost in each for a few moments before we pulled apart again. I held out my hand, shaking just a little, and Dick slipped the ring on my finger.

Cheers sounded from behind us, and I came back to reality as Dick's family came over to congratulate us. I wrapped each of them in my best bone-crushing hug, making sure they knew how happy I was to be joining them as family in the near future now, too.

After we'd all exchanged hugs (reluctantly or otherwise), I found Dick at my side again, wrapping his arm around my waist. I tucked into his side and it felt like I'd always belonged there.

I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life just like this.

****************

LATE SPRING

I took a deep breath and stared at the double doors in front of me, my heart pounding in my chest. I couldn't wipe the biggest, cheesiest smile off my face, no matter how hard I tried. Today was my wedding day, and I couldn't be happier.

Steph and Cass had helped me find the perfect dress. My bouquet was filled with red poppies, my favorite flower. Dick and I had worked together to plan a dream wedding for the both of us, and now everyone we loved was gathered here to celebrate with us.

Everything was perfect.

I heard music start up, then a second later, the doors swung open. It didn't quite feel real as I took my first steps down the isle, towards Dick Grayson and the rest of my life.

It started to feel more real when I finally reached him, standing in front of so many people with eyes only for the man before me. We stood together, hand in hand and eyes locked on each other as the ceremony went on. We read our vows, said "I do", and before I knew it, we were married.

Dick swept me off my feet in a kiss as the crowd cheered. We laced our hands together and ran down the isle together, deliriously happy as our friends and family sent us off. We climbed into the waiting car as the door shut behind us, and I snuggled up against Dick's side before leaning up to give him a kiss. Finally, it felt real.

"I love you, Dick Grayson," I said, smiling up at him. "I can't wait to throw around the phrase 'my husband' until every single person we know is sick of it."

Dick laughed. "I love you too, Mrs. Grayson. And I can't wait to see who breaks first."

"My money's on Jason, unless anyone else says it's annoying first. Then I think he'll back us to mess with everyone else."

Dick laughed, then leaned in to give me a soft, tender kiss.

"I love how well you know them."

"Well... they're my family now, too."

We shared a smile, then settled into comfortable silence together, leaning against each other for support while we rested for the little bit of time we had now before the reception got into full swing. Tonight would be a long night for both of us, but I absolutely couldn't wait. I loved Dick with my whole heart, and going through every part of our futures together–good, bad, and crazy–was the best thing I could possibly think of.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

So I am drinking for the first time in months because I have taken an accidental break from my evil medication and I'm taking advantage of that. But I'm here in the club pondering Lestat on this fine afternoon. Full disclosure I've been watching 2.07 and 2.08 in gifs, because the person who's link I have has not updated their Google drive. But I think most of the ramble I'm about to go oh about Lestat and race is contained within season 1.

So Lestat is an interesting case in terms of portraying a racist character because I think when you correct for the gothic horror shock value he's more true to what most racism actually looks like than like 97% of cases where it's depicted, but also there's a lot of people in the fandom who will insist that hes not racist, despite the fact that Claudia explicitly calls him out on it multiple times. And I think the reason for that is actually more complicated and interesting than standard issue Blorbo apologia or that they see a white person and are automatically more sympathetic to the white person, I'm not saying that both of those aren't part of it but I am saying that there's also a third genre of it.

So like, Lestat starts out as the nice white guy. He's not white he French, as Louis said. He thinks the way that Louis is treated by American white people is appalling. And then as they carry on, Lestat is horrifically racist in some places and kinda chill, never great, but on Louis' side, in others, and in other places he writes race off as a mortal affair and considers both his and Louis' race to be "vampire". And I actually think that's the closest we get to Lestat's actual beliefs on race. He thinks he's solved racism for Louis by giving him the dark gift, because now Louis can just eat people who are racist to him.

Lestat is very much a modern white person transplanted into the Jim Crow era in this way. He doesn't think he's racist. Racism isn't ideological for him the way it is for the other white people we meet in Louisiana who think that they are superior to Louis by virtue of their skin color. He doesn't see Louis as sub human (or sub-vampire). He even feels more affinity to Louis than to other white people by virtue of Louis being both a vampire and his partner.

However he is still racist. Because Lestat at his core is selfish. Louis is the superego and Lestat is the Id. Lestat is operating on a race blind mentality, but he will use other white people's racism to his advantage no matter how much it hurts Claudia and Louis, I would argue with only partial understanding of what he's doing at all.

That's not a defense of him. He knows he's hurting his family. He's doing it on purpose for the benefit of himself because that's who Lestat is. That's what makes him awful and abusive. He takes it to genre typical extremes, but I think sometimes the racial angle to whats going on completely escapes him, meanwhile Louis and Claudia remain hyper aware of it, because they have to be to navigate their lives in black bodies, undead or otherwise. This hurts Louis and Claudia just as much as it would hurt them if Lestat was a white hood wearing Klansman who thought he was superior to them. It doesn't matter in his impact that in his heart he is doing this because he cares about himself before anyone else, rather than because he thinks he's better because he's white. The impact is the same whether he's race blind or a Nazi. He is still weaponizing his whiteness against his loved ones. A person could argue it's worse than if he was a capital R racist because if he was Louis and Claudia would never have become loved ones in the first place

I think this is why a lot of people get incredibly defensive about Lestat being called racist. Because good liberal white people in America are raised to not see color. They're raised to think that MLK solved systemic racism and that treating someone different because of their skin color is appalling behavior. But they still use the systemic racism that exists around them to their advantage while maintaining this mindset, because like pavlovs dogs they know when certain behavior will benefit them but never stop to question why that behavior benefits them or wonder if it's hurting people around them. They will throw poc, even poc that they love and respect, under the bus without realizing that's what's happening.

Lestat holds a dark mirror up to those people. The writers show them a white man who is nice and colorblind and appalled by the treatment that Louis is receiving who still weaponizes the color of his skin against Louis. The first episode makes white people who care about POC want to like and relate to Lestat who is quickly developing a romance with Louis, and then it shows his horrible racist tendencies in subsequent episodes. Because of this white people who are allies and unfamiliar with the story will at first like Lestat but realize around episode three what's up with him and not defend him. But people in the more colorblind lane will defend him from the racism allegations to the death even if they acknowledge his other crimes because they don't want to admit that they themselves have done what Lestat is doing on a much smaller scale without the domestic abuse and vampire style violence.*

Consequently I think they had to make Lestat this type of racist because if they made him an ideological racist he couldn't have gone back to Louis with a satisfying ending the way we know he's going to and if he was actually not racist the way a good ally is (which is to say makes mistakes but owns up to them and corrects them) it would be wildly untrue to his characterization in the books. He must be selfish.

*I of course acknowledge that white people who are not ideologically racist fall along a gradient between ally and color blind and just because someone can recognize this behavior in others doesn't mean they don't occasionally ignore it in themselves but for my purposes I am making a binary. Nuance. You understand.

[ragnarlothcat]

trope selection tag game

Tagged by @renlyslittlerose (thank you friend!!!)

enemies to lovers or friends to lovers - although truthfully I do like both! I suppose it depends on fandom and the type of enemies involved. Sometimes I think there's too much legwork that needs doing to make an enemies to lovers scenario click and I've got places to be, you know?

coffee shop au or flower shop au - I was not aware that flower shop AUs were an established subgenre of fanfiction. I don't think I've ever read one! But I have read a couple coffee shop AUs and enjoyed them, so.

hurt/comfort or there was only one bed - I have a pretty low angst tolerance (certainly for someone most active in the "betrayal and child murder" fandom) so while I do like the idea of hurt/comfort more for the catharsis, I click out easily if I start to feel too hurt. Whereas I do always love some forced proximity!

found family or partners in crime - I like both! But partners in crime has a high chance of shenanigans. And I've been known to dabble in shenanigans.

canon compliant or canon divergent - again, I am sad and weak and bad at angst and my most active fandom is already maximum angst. I've dabbled in canon compliant fic but when I'm the one writing I tend to gloss over the worst of it. If I want to be miserable about Star Wars I've already got options!

fluff or angst with a happy ending - look, the suffering market is well supplied. Occasionally I show up and write a fic with no plot and no conflict whatsoever. I fulfill a specific ecological niche and I appreciate others who do the same!

1st person pov or 3rd person pov - yeah I'm with lemon on this one. I'm barely tolerant of 1st person in published fiction but I will click out of it instantly for fic.

soulmates or forbidden love - I imagine there are some neat soulmates fics that do interesting things with the trope but as a concept they underwhelm me. Forbidden love is great though. Who is forbidding it? Were they right to do so?

roommates or fake dating - I read one of those Reylo fics that was turned into original fiction and the whole time I was thinking that the story had not provided a good enough reason for the protagonist to pretend to date some guy. In reality randos don't care that much about other people's love lives. But being into a guy who lives in your house and who you can't avoid is very interesting.

slow burn or meet-cute - what can I say? I love a meet-cute. I like an opportunity to describe these characters in elaborate worshipful detail. I'm a simple creature.

love triangle or polyamorous relationship - I don't think I've read or written either! I'm not so much into multiple people as a concept but with a love triangle I suppose you can write the third person off somewhere and let it resolve itself with my blorbos in love.

royalty au or magic au - I don't feel that strongly about this one but I feel like I've read and enjoyed more of the former. Plus in a royalty AU there's a higher chance of Outfits.

high school/college au or neighbours au - if we're talking about obikin (and I often am!) my biggest weakness is professor/student AUs so I am contractually obligated to pick this one.

mutual pining or idiots to lovers - isn't this the same thing? I'm genuinely asking! I always thought idiots to lovers was just a sillier way of describing mutual pining, as in the idiots aren't aware that they're both in love? Maybe the distinction is mutual pining doesn't necessarily work out? In which case I pick idiots to lovers because I do need my piners to get together.

Tagging: @artemisthehuntress, @disast3rtransp0rt, @bi-wan, @intermundia, @thegingerwrites, @betweensaintsandmonsters, @treescape (but as always, no pressure! I have no idea who has been tagged already)

[tryingmyhand-atwriting]

BEGIN AGAIN 

Chapter One : An Unplanned Run-In

Notes: Hi, everyone (or no one if no one bothers to read!) This is my first ever attempt at posting fan-fiction that I have written, although I have been a reader of it for years. I’ve been in multiple fandoms through out the years but never had the guts to post anything out of fear of not being good enough or no one liking it but I figure - if one person likes it or one hundred people like it, it will all mean the same to me which is utter gratefulness that will swell within me. I am posting under a side blog so no one will know it’s me although I think there is someone who has found me (if so, hi Elise I love you.) Even if you hate it and it sucks and is boring be nice to me please I am baby. That is all - if you have made it this far I am grateful for that too.

Warnings: SLOW BURN. Hang in with me folks once we get to the good stuff it’s promising. Also, new writer - that’s a warning in itself too.

Word Count: 6545

Ashley Tisdale would argue that at times she knew her best friend better than he knew himself. Since the first day they met their connection had been instant and not even time or distance had proven able to dispel the friendship they both helped to nourish.

Not seeing him for three years didn’t change a thing between them and the older sister intuition kicks in when he’s over for the first time upon returning, meeting Jupiter in person now that he’s home, when he says, ‘Member Isabela?” And a lightbulb goes on over her head.

Ashley remembers a pretty, young eighteen year old interning for Austin’s personal assistant in 2013 to 2014. Isabela had been kind to a fault and so gentle as a person that Ashley–and Austin–had developed a protectiveness over her. She had fit into their group effortlessly and there was a close friendship that had developed between Austin and her. So close they were, Ashley would joke about being replaced. It all went downhill after the Great Incident of 2014 and Ashley never heard Austin nor Vanessa speak about Isabela again.

She exits her kitchen, resting against the doorway with her arms crossed. “Yeah I do,” she replies wondering where he would take it next. Austin hums but doesn’t reply as he continues stroking Jupiter’s back, the toddler asleep on the couch beside him. “Did you run into her or something?” She probes.

“Nah, just been… reminiscin’, I guess.” But Ashley knows her best friend, knows by the clench of his jaw and glint in his eyes that he has more to say. Things he may not want to admit or isn’t sure he should admit. “When Lydia told me she was stepping down after havin’ her baby I asked if she had any contact with Isabela but she said they don’t talk anymore.”

Ashley does a double take. “You wanna offer her the job?” She isn’t sure how to explain to him that if someone reached out after years with no contact , she would have a lot to say to that person. Granted, Isabela would never give anyone a piece of her mind but to save Austin from rejection she knows he is in desperate need of some womanly advice. “Don’t you think that’d be, uh–I’m not sure these are the right words but–awkward and mean after what happened?”

“It doesn’t have to be for the job, Ash.” Austin shrugs his shoulders. “With all these new changes in my life I guess I just uh–I know what people I want in my life now.” Ashley has seen firsthand what he means. While paparazzi had always been a part of their lives, the recent attention and invasiveness being introduced to Austin’s life was something new. A level of fame even Ashley hadn’t achieved with High School Musical..

Ashley had faith in Austin and his talent, even if he wasn’t as confident in himself. She could see his wildest dreams coming true but with Elvis, Ashley also knew he had learnt some lessons scary enough they would never shake. She saw he was frightened to death of being made to be someone he wasn’t, of being put on a pedestal and failing to meet expectations. Most importantly, Austin was made aware of how quickly people came around for the wrong reasons, ready to take advantage of success, money, and fame. Someone who freely gave loyalty and honesty expected it in return, a betrayal of that nature would hurt Austin the most. Ashley had seen Austin lose himself and have to find who he was again, but the man who reemerged was skeptical, with a new point of view.

“So you want to make amends?”

It takes Austin a while to look at Ashley, his hand rubbing soothing circles on Jupiter’s back. “More than anything I just wanna talk to her.” But she sees the longing in his eyes when they meet hers and pieces of the puzzle begin to fit together.

That’s how Ashley ends up at Chucky’s Bar in Los Feliz on a Thursday night. She didn’t tell Austin that she occasionally chats with Isabela over Instagram because she didn’t want him to do something embarassing like slide into her DMs with a lame greeting and possible emoji. Austin was smooth and charming in many ways, but at the end of the day, he was only a man and this situation was better handled with a woman’s touch. All it had taken was a ‘miss you! when are you free?’ before Isabela responded saying that this was where she’d be on her last night in LA before she traveled to Hawaii for a work trip.

“Ashley! You came!” There’s a girly squeal and arms squeezing her from behind before she turns to face Isabela. There’s a wide smile on her face and her hair frizzes with the humidity of the crowded bar. Sweat shines on her face, mascara smudged under her eyes, but Ashley has to smile– Isabela never let perceived-imperfections dull her shine. “You look hot.” Isabela checks her friend out with an impressed grin.

“I feel out of my element. I can’t remember the last time I dressed up.” Ashley giggles, taking in her surroundings. “I’m also scared I’m going to start leaking and ruin this dress.” She gestures to her enlarged breasts, made more noticeable by the deep V-cut of her dress.

Isabela lets out a loud laugh. “Some guys like that,” she whispers conspiratorially and Ashley slaps her on the arm. Isabela grabs Ashley by the hand and begins leading her to a table, “Come on, a friend saved us a table. Victoria’s got bar duty tonight but she’ll be checking in occasionally.”

“Victoria’s still working here?”

Chucky’s Bar brought back many late night memories for Ashley. There were many drunken nights spent at the low-key bar where Ashley, Austin, and Vanessa had never been recognized. It was at this bar where Ashley met Isabela and her tough as nails cousin, Victoria, who was cold the entire night and would only make rounds to their table to make sure Isabela was drinking enough water to go along with the tequila. It had taken almost a month for Victoria to warm up to the former Disney kids. Ashley was sure any kindness on Victoria’s part was thrown out the window after the Incident.

Ashley would have found Victoria’s over protectiveness creepy if she didn’t understand why. Isabela was sweetly naive, always seeing the best in the world and people around her. An innocence that had probably broken her heart more than once. It hadn’t taken long for Ashley to feel the same way towards Isabela, like she was a younger sister.

“She practically runs this place. Derek’s one year away from retiring and he’s already promised to leave it to her.” Isabela’s face beams with pride. As they approach the table she turns to face Ashley briefly and catches the uncertainty in her eyes, the awkward hunch to her shoulders, that only comes when someone feels unwelcome. Isabela reaches to hold Ashley’s fingers in hers. “She’s gonna be on her best behavior, okay? I told her you were coming and anyways, everything that happened that day had nothing to do with you.”

Doesn’t it, Ashley wants to ask. Guilt gnaws at her, knowing she was meeting up with Isabela for selfish reasons. To do her best friend’s dirty work, get him into contact with someone who probably, most likely–definitely–wants nothing to do with him.

“We talking about how Victoria breastfeeds you?” There’s a busty redhead seated at the table. She’s loud in her proclamation and beautiful in a sheer silver dress. She’s gorgeous, her hair swept back in an updo and her legs crossed, the hem of her dress rising dangerously high. Already there’s more than a few curious eyes glancing towards their table. She smiles at Ashley but it drops when she catches sight of Isabela’s empty hands. She guffaws, offended, “Where are the shots? You get up and come back with no shots?”

Isabela tumbles into the seat beside her, laughing good-naturedly at her friend’s offense. It was obvious the girls had started drinking before her arrival but Ashley didn’t mind; she was planning on an easy night. Hangovers tend to be a multi-day affair once you hit thirty. “Luis said he’ll bring ‘em out to us,” Isabela tells her friend before presenting her to Ashley. “This is the worst influence in my life and the devil on my shoulder — Ash, meet Sky. She was my college roommate and yes, Victoria hates her. Doesn’t give you any right to talk shit about her though,” Isabela pinches Sky’s underarm for good measure.

“I wasn’t talking shit about her, I was making fun of you. The pretty princess stuck in the tower–you’re twenty-six.” It must be a sermon Isabela has heard before because all she offers in response to Sky’s mocking tone is an exaggerated eye roll and a shake of her head.

“Don’t worry, Victoria hates me too,” Ashley tells Sky. “She’s just always gonna look out for Isabela. No judgments here.”

Sky puts a hand on Ashley’s arm,eyes twinkling. “Oh my God. We should totally start a club.”

“I think you two booze hounds have had enough,” a blond waiter approaches their table, balancing a tray of shots. He looks toward Ashley, clarifying, “I mean those two. Especially this one,” he shoves an elbow into Sky’s side, the woman yelping and returning the hit.

Isabela leans over to touch his shoulder, imploring.. “Luis, you’re just in time. Their conversation was sobering me up.” She pouts, her lower lip jutting out.

“You just don’t like hearing the truth–”

“Not you too!”

“Ladies,” Ashley holds up her shot glass and a wedge of lemon, a strategic distraction, putting an end to the conversation. The constant back-and-forth chatter is definitely enough incentive for her to break her own self-imposed sobriety. “Are we taking this shot or what?”

“I like you,” Sky states, preparing her lemon with salt.

“Wait! We have to cheers to something,” Isabela insists when both Ashley and Sky go to throw the tequila back. She purses her lips to the side in thought, “What’s something all three of us can cheer to?”

“How about this,” Ashley begins, leaning forward on her elbows, “Sky’s here for you and so am I. So how about a cheers to Isabela for bringing us together tonight?” Isabela flushes, her lashes fanning against her cheeks as she avoids eye contact, flattered and flustered all at once. Ashley momentarily feels like she’s kissing ass, knowing she’s still wrestling with guilt over her ulterior motives, but she isn’t lying about her affection for her friend.

Sky extends her shot glass forward. “To Isabela.”

The night is a whirlwind after that. Ashley remembers a Pitbull song coming on that had Sky pulling both she and Isabela to the middle of the dance floor, smack between other dancers. There was another shot–or four–taken and by the time the girls are dancing to the fifth song of the night, now joined by a group of girls they had befriended at the bar. Ashley has to momentarily return to the table, ridding herself of her jacket.. It isn’t lost on her that the reason for her random request of a girls’ night out hasn’t been brought up once, but she doesn’t have it in her to ruin what has been an amazing night so far.

She could always try again. Preferably when it wasn’t her first time reuniting with an old friend in months.

As Ashley saunters back over to their spot on the dance floor, she catches sight of Sky’s silver dress towards the bar with Luis, no doubt asking for another round of shots. Ashley hopes–and doubts–that Sky forgot to order her one, the beginning of a headache pounding behind her eyes. Isabela’s still where she left her but a man has since joined her. He’s handsome, Ashley must admit, and standing almost a foot over Isabela who’s lacing her fingers together in front of her repeatedly. She has a smile on her face though,so Ashley doesn’t feel the need to interject as she nears.

“You’re sweet, but I’m here with my friends. Sorry,” Ashley catches Isabela apologize, her lashes fluttering as she blinks rapidly, and her teeth gnawing at her bottom lip. In anyone else Ashley would have taken the actions to be coy or flirty, but in Isabela she sees them for what they are–nervous tics. More words are exchanged and Isabela moves away when the guy places a hand at her hip. Ashley is debating on whether or not she should intercept and tell the guy to get lost, knowing it would be quicker than Isabela’s kind approach, when he throws his hand out beside him in a fist in annoyance before storming away.

Isabela stumbles back, flinching violently at his outburst, and Ashley’s beside her in the next moment, a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Are you okay?” She asks, scanning over Isabela. She didn’t see the guy touch her, but Isabela’s response worried her, as if he did more than utter cruel words to her. “Did he hurt you?”

“No, no.” Isabela shakes her head and attempts a smile but her eyes are glossy with unshed tears. “He just got mad and it caught me off guard, I guess. I’m fine.”

“Isabela—” you don’t seem fine, is what Ashley’s going to say but she’s cut off by the arrival of Sky–who did conjure up another round of shots–and two blonde girls they had been dancing with earlier.

“I got us more shots, bitches,” she whoops loudly, pumping a single fist. She drops the act once she takes in the heavy atmosphere. “What’s wrong?”

Ashley hesitates. Some guy was rude to Isabela and she almost cried, which was technically true, but her reaction hinted at something deeper–although the man hadn’t seemed to lay a hand on her. What worried Ashley was the possibility of someone else having done so..

“Some guy was a dick and caught me off guard. Ashley’s never seen my freak outs before.” Isabela shrugs, feigning nonchalance and maintaining eye contact with her friend. There seemed to be a million words said between them but their mouths didn’t move once. It was a look shared between best friends with no words necessary.

Sky shakes her head, turning to Ashley with another smile and extending the tray of shots again. “Isabela doesn’t go out much, so every time she does she gets shocked at what big assholes guys actually are.” She said by way of explanation, handing a shot to Isabela. “She’ll survive; it just takes her a couple seconds to shake it off.”

Ashley detects the bullshit lie, but it isn’t a topic she wants to press so publicly. Instead she politely declines the shot, “I need water for the next hour before Ubering home. It’s Jupiter’s birthday party tomorrow and I need to be up early to set up.”

“Oh, no,” Isabela’s brows pinch and she places her shot back in Sky’s hand. “I’m so sorry, I wouldn’t have asked you to come out to a bar if I knew you had to be up early tomorrow.” She interlocks her elbows with Ashley’s, pulling her to Luis’s section of the bar and signaling him for two glasses of water.

“I’m a grown woman, Is. And lack of sleep is nothing new to mothers. Having a newborn is like a hangover that lasts for months.”

Isabela chuckles, sliding her glass of water over. “What a lovely comparison!”

“I love being a mom,” Ashley defends, laughing. “But it’s not as easy as people make it out to be. At least it wasn’t for me. I called my mom crying so many times, sure that I was failing or ruining this perfect little person somehow.”

“You’ve officially talked me out of ever wanting kids.”

“Come on,” Ashley rolls her eyes. “You put everyone before yourself; you’d be the perfect mom.”

Isabela shrugs a shoulder, her elbow leaning on the table. “I don’t know. Maybe. I wanted kids when I was younger, but the past few years have basically been about my career. One thing is for sure though, I’d want it to happen on my terms and at the time I’m ready. No time soon.” The conversation and glasses of water have helped both of them sober up and, for that, Ashley is glad. The room isn’t spinning as much as it was before. Now, Ashley just feels drowsy as the alcohol leaves her system. Isabela must catch her tired expression because she hums, “What time should I be at your house tomorrow to help you set up?”

Ashley shakes her head vehemently. “You’ve got a flight tomorrow, miss. You’re going to need all the sleep you could get.”

“I could sleep on the flight,” Isabela returns smartly, her tone matter-of-fact. Ashley pushes her knee, sending her spinning on the bar stool. Isabela continues. “I feel guilty I had you come out! No way in hell are you setting up alone tomorrow before hosting a kids’ party. I’m helping!”

Luis interrupts their conversation, throwing a rag over his shoulder and refilling both glasses with more water. Ashley smiles. “Two beautiful ladies like you must be starving. My momma always said the way into a girl's heart was through her stomach.”

“I think your mom had it wrong; isn’t it supposed to be a man’s stomach?” Ashley laughs, but she has to wonder because food certainly sounded like heaven then.

“Two burgers to go please and then an Uber.” Isabela shoots him a dazzling, cheesy grin, her cheeks dimpling as she throws a hand over Ashley’s shoulder. “We’ve got an early morning tomorrow.”

—

Waking up early after a night out is harder to do the older she gets. If Isabela hadn’t offered to help Ashley with Jupiter’s birthday party set up and have a flight scheduled for later on that day she would have stayed in bed nursing her hangover for the next forty-eight hours. The breeze is fresh as she waltzes up to Ashley’s front door to ring the doorbell. It’s early spring and as is regular for Los Angeles the sun is bright and scorching but the wind is a welcome reprieve from the heat. Various trees are surrounding Ashley’s front yard but Isabela doesn’t dare take off her glasses. Her eyes were probably swollen and red from lack of sleep and overdrinking the night before. Come to think of it, she still felt slightly drunk.

She had been woken up two hours earlier when Sky had crawled into her bed. Ashley and Isabela had left the bar before anyone else and the late time Sky showed up at her apartment meant that Luis and Victoria must have let her and a few others continue drinking after closing time. Isabela doesn’t understand how Sky did it. Isabela hadn’t drank half as much but knew she would be suffering twice as hard compared to Sky.

“Hi, sunshine.” Isabela can only grumble in response to Ashley’s greeting, letting her usher her inside the house with a laugh. “I told you to sleep in. I’m making Chris do all the heavy work anyway.”

“I’m perfectly able,” Isabela insists, sliding her glasses atop her head. She claps her hands, taking in the balloons and empty candy bags surrounding the living room coffee table. “Put me to work.”

There were fifteen other children in Jupiter’s daycare class and each one had a specific diet request which meant each candy bag must contain different items and not be confused. Ashley handed Isabela a list of the kids name and items their goodie bag must contain and sat her down in front of all the miniature snacks and toys. Jupiter’s party was space themed and the small moons and planets that Ashley had bought to go in the bag made Isabela coo. Why were tiny things so unfairly adorable?

“I want to make sure they are perfect,” Isabela defends with a fond eye roll when she sees Ashley arching an eyebrow as she triple checks a bag. There’s a small smile on Isabela’s lips from Ashley’s teasing but when she puts her mind to a task she always has to make sure it is done right. Not to mention that focusing her full attention on the goodie bags had her paying less attention to how sick she still felt. Even when she was younger she had never handled hangovers well.

“Do you want me to place the trash can beside you? Need a reminder as to where the closest bathrooms are?” Ashley teases her friend, noticing the large inhale and exhale she’s continuously doing and knowing it is in efforts to tame her growing nausea. She had offered Isabela tums and breakfast but Isabela insisted the only thing she would be able to keep down was water.

“I hate you,” Isabela returns, leaning back to let the couch cushions swallow her. “Drinking is not meant for me. I don’t know why I keep letting Sky talk me into nights out.” She closes her eyes for a few moments. Her eyelids feel heavy and she wonders if her eyebags are as horrible as she imagines. Isabela knew she looked a mess when she was tired. She wasn’t lucky enough to be a cute drowsy girl. No. It was all dark eyebags and swollen eyes for her.

“Think of the memories,” Ashley insists. “Memories are all we leave behind anyway.”

Isabela pops one eye open. “That was dark,” she laughs, never having known Ashley to be anything but optimistic. She gets what she is trying to say though. It doesn’t matter how much money someone left you if they were pieces of shit throughout your life, you would have rather had good times with them.

There is a shift in Ashley’s attitude, a tension in the air and Isabela knew it would come up sooner or later. She remembers being back at the bar. Crowded and sweaty and that guy had been an asshole but it was nothing new — it wasn’t until he had turned his hand into a fist and swung it beside him that she had reacted. Isabela had flinched and it made her feel weak but knowing Ashley had caught sight of it caused anxiety to flare up in her chest and overtake every feeling in her body. Hangover and shame be damned. She was sick to her stomach deciding whether she wanted Ashley to know the truth or not.

“Is,” Ashley begins, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her knees. Isabela doesn’t want to seem flippant or uncaring of the worries her friend is bringing up so she sits up and mirrors her position. Showing she’s listening but keeping what she hopes is a blank expression on her face so nothing is given away. “Last night at the bar… when that guy asked you to dance —” Ashley cuts herself off and Isabela has been through this before. Knows that the people in her life care about her and it hurts them to think about and they can hardly bear to ask. “If you don’t want to answer it, that’s fine. We’ll move on and I promise I will never bring it up again but I have to ask at least once. What happened with that guy at the bar?”

Isabela thinks back to her sophomore year in college, freshly twenty and in love with the new usual that had taken up residence at Chucky’s Bar. He’d been a couple of years older and had only recently graduated from university, he was on his way to taking over his family restaurant. He was sweet and funny, his family had been warm and welcoming and within a blink of her eyes her sweet dream had turned into her worst nightmare. His tight grips became punches, his jealousy became delusions, and the hopes of him changing for her were flushed down the drain. She knew the saying, ‘if they did it once they will do it again’, but she had been so young and dumb and blinded. She considers herself one of the lucky ones. The incident had only escalated once and she had managed to get away.

It’s been years and she’s had therapy. Isabela isn’t angry at the world. She doesn’t hate all men. Hasn’t sworn off to ever date again or anything like that but the memories still feel fresh in her mind. Sometimes more than others and they always succeed at making her feel weak because she can’t help her body’s physical reactions. She can admit that the memories paralyze her every single time she has to deny someone something or she is in a position to displease someone, even minimally. It’s what had happened at the bar: Isabela’s palms had begun sweating the second the guy approached her because she knew she was going to turn him down. He had been kind in asking but not so nice once she had declined his offer. It hadn’t been the curses he had called her that made her flinch. The flinch had been in response to the arm he’d thrown out in exasperation and more than anything she’s only embarrassed of her lacking strength.

It’s one thing to have your weakness known and another entirely to have to explain it. It was like baring your soul to every person you came in contact with and Isabela trusts Ashley but she’s not ready for the way Ashley looks at her to change. She doesn’t need another person in her life viewing her as needing to be protected.

“My ex boyfriend wasn’t so nice,” is what Isabela settles on and she hopes that it’s enough for now. She remembers her mothers tears and Victoria’s anger when she woke up in the hospital. Ashley’s eyes soften and tear immediately and Isabela isn’t ready to draw out any other reaction. She reaches over to place a comforting hand on her friend's knee, assuring her she was with her now. “Oh Ash, don’t cry,” there’s a wobbly lip accompanying her chuckle. “It was a long time ago and I’m fine, okay? I’m right here.”

There’s astonishment in Ashley’s eyes, wonder over the strength of the woman sitting in front of her. Talking of her pain and still choosing to comfort others. “I hope Victoria killed him,” is all Ashley can think to say and Isabela lets out a watery laugh with one last pat to her knee before bringing her arm back.

“Let’s move on to these balloons, yeah?”

Three hours are spent blowing up balloons and taping them together as well as convincing Ashley to not change every detail over the chosen theme. Chris had been seconds away from crying when Ashley suggested for the tables to be moved and it was only when Isabela convinced her otherwise that the tension in his shoulders seemed to release. He had made a crazy motion behind his wife’s back and Isabela had to bite back her laugh. She sympathized with the stress on Ashley in ensuring the party was perfect for Jupiter and she was glad if she was able to ease a sliver of that.

After meeting the gorgeous and chatty Jupiter she found herself bummed that she was unable to stay. Jupiter was kind in providing Isabela with a tour of her playroom and allowing her to color in her favorite art book. There were lots of gibberish and babbles that ended with Jupiter looking up at Isabela waiting for a response so all she could do was pretend she understood the little girl with responses of ‘oh yeah’ and ‘wow’.

“I don’t want to let her go,” Isabela complains with a pout, squeezing Jupiter for a goodbye hug that the toddler was more than happy to return. “She’s perfect. I don’t understand how you guys get anything done, I just want to have her in my arms all day.” She takes advantage of having her in her arms and decides to take one last whiff of her baby head before letting go. “Have the best birthday party, little lady. Eat cake until your heart's content.”

“Uh oh, someone has baby fever.” Chris cocks a playful eyebrow in Isabela’s direction.

“No, no, no. I’m more than fine being the cool aunt who gets to spoil them rotten and hand them back during tantrums,” she replies, placing both hands on her knees to rise from her couch on the entryway, Jupiter having disappeared to the backyard. “You two should have another one, though.”

Chris’s wide eyes and immediate head shake have Isabela laughing. Ashley elbows her husband slightly, rolling her eyes at him before responding. “That one runs us ragged. We wanna wait until she’s a little older.”

Isabela can understand that. “My flight is in three hours and I still need to shower —”

“Is that what I smell?”

Ashley rolls her eyes at her husband, “Ignore him. It’s what I do.”

There is a bright smile on Isabela’s face, content to be around friends and their marital teasing. Maybe she missed them more than she thought. She feels guilty for believing Victoria when she said Ashley must have had ulterior motives for an impromptu girls night. Isabela had been nervous and taken more shots than she should have before Ashley’s arrival, convincing herself it had something to do with the mishap from years before. Fortunately Victoria and Isabela were both wrong and she found herself letting tension release in Ashley’s presence.

“Make sure to send me lots and lots of pictures of Jupiter. I want to see her chubby cheeks smothered in cake frosting and her little face when she opens her gift.” The adults peek over in the direction of the distracted toddler. “Thanks for having me over.”

“Are you kidding? Thank you for helping. I would still be stuck in a stress frenzy if you hadn’t been my sound board today,” Ashley replies, pulling her old friend in for a hug. Chris has the door open for Isabela behind them as he lets them say their goodbyes in peace, knowing it may be a while before the girls would be able to see each other again. “Let’s not go that long without contact again, ‘kay?”

Isabela shook her head. “Now that I’ve met your little monster you aren’t getting rid of me.” There’s another round of waves and goodbyes before Isabela exits their home and they close the door behind her. She feels lighter than she had when she arrived that morning, sleep deprived and slightly hungover. The air breeze against her no longer has the morning freshness and the LA heat has managed to set in.

She takes solace in the fact that in a few hours she was going to be in Hawaii. It was a light work trip with her client only having one single interview and photo shoot so she knew she would have downtime to hit the beach and local restaurant. Isabela’s making a mental note to text Jessica, her coworker and client’s social media manager, as well as opening her notes app to see the packing checklist made the day before when she hears footsteps trudging towards her and her name being called.

There's a sinking feeling in her gut. A part of her wants to run away and hide, remembering the embarrassment and shame that was brought upon her that day, but there’s a voice in her head telling her to keep her head held high and act like nothing was off.

“Austin, hey,” she hopes her tone isn’t filled with the dread she feels.

There’s a pause before she allows herself to face him for the first time in seven years. Isabela has seen him on television shows and movies, on the cover of magazines and gracing the front pages of tabloids with his then girlfriend. She would have to be in hiding to not have seen him this past year alone with all the Elvis promo, but seeing him in person manages to take her breath away. He’s handsome and that hasn’t changed. If anything, time and new opportunities have done him well. She remembers a sad boy who had just lost his mother and didn’t know what to do with his life; he was skinny and lanky and hadn’t got a haircut in months.

The man in front of her had life in him. He’s filled out since the last time she saw him and she sees a gleam in his eye that wasn’t there before. Austin must be happy, its the only guess she would make, and no matter what he put her through, happiness and health is all Isabela would have ever wished for him.

“Ash didn’t tell me you’d be here,” he says as he approaches closer to where she stands. Isabela expects the hug, finds herself accepting it, and then she immediately hates herself after. “It’s so good seeing you. I’ve been thinking about you.” Austin has never been one to shy away from his feelings, he’s always been one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but this once she wishes he wasn’t so honest because it somehow hurts more to know she’s crossed his mind and he never reached out. “My assistant, uh, Lydia, remember her? She's pregnant. Told me last week and she was really happy. She’s gonna become a stay at home mom after, I think.”

There’s a brow arch because she’s unsure of how the news pertains to her. Isabela has talked to Lydia frequently through the years and the woman had called her a few days prior to share the news. “Yeah, she told me. Her and Raul are really excited. I mean, good for them, I know they’ll make the best parents.”

Austin looks like he’s gonna continue as he nods his head along in agreement but, “Hang on, you keep in touch with her?” He asks and he looks genuinely confused. It makes two of them because Isabela has no idea what’s going on in this conversation or what she could possibly have to do with Lydia being pregnant and why on earth it would be the first thing Austin wants to share with her after six years of no contact.

Isabela nods slowly. “She’s been a great help to me through the years. Helped me finish my internship and get an interview at this agency I’m at. I tell her she makes me feel like a nepo baby with all the connections she offers.” The fond eye roll shows all the love between the two women and transports Austin back in time to when there was a genuine friendship between them and he remembers to put the conversation back on track, where he wants it to head.

“Well, the job’s yours. If you want it.” There’s a dead silence that takes up the space between them. Quiet enough where he can hear the sound of the leaves rustling on Ashley’s front yard and the faint sound of a car honking from a block over. Austin feels the need to explain, “The past year has been amazing, Is, and I’ve actually got some of my favorite directors asking for me to read for their films. And with Elvis coming out, despite how it makes me sound like a complete dick, things are changing for me and I want people I can trust around me. You know, people who won’t come around for the wrong reasons or with bad intentions. When Lydia told me she’d help me find someone new all I could think about was offering it to you. I’ve got James, Kate, and people I trust around me and I wanna keep that going. I trust you. And I already know you’re damn good at your job.”

The betrayal that has simmered beneath her skin for six years - a betrayal from a friend and former employer, a betrayal that Isabela had forced herself to forgive without apologies being exchanged for her own emotional health - she feels the betrayal awaken in her chest as if it’s the day of again. She didn’t need anyone to plead for forgiveness and she didn’t need to be fought for but she always hoped that if a thought from him was spared for her it was because of more than him needing her for a job. A job he was only offering because he was big and famous and people were out to use him now.

Did Austin wake up and think, “hey, she was humiliated and treated like shit in my backyard and never spilled the beans to any tabloid so I must be able to trust her?”

Isabela reminds herself to take a deep breath. Austin was many things but he was never selfish or inconsiderate of others. His mom and sister would have never allowed it. Isabela had to come to terms with the fact that a moment of great disappointment and disloyalty in her life didn’t create an impact in his life. He hadn’t spent three days crying in bed afterwards or had a hard time getting hired for months after because gossip had made the rounds. Nope. The humiliation, sadness, and shame was left for her.

“I, um,” she knows that anyone else would have a lot to say. She wishes she had the guts to do the same but she doesn’t want to engage in an argument or have him give a meaningless apology. She doesn’t want him to know how much she still cares when he obviously had moved past it. “I’m taking a year off. Gonna take some time to travel and all that, but thank you. For thinking of me and offering.” She hopes her eyes aren’t brimming with tears because they sure are currently burning.

Austin looks disappointed and she wonders why he’d be anything but aware of the fact that she wouldn’t want to work with him again. Do they remember the day differently or something? She doesn’t have the gall to say any of that and she bites her lip to stop herself from easing any discomfort between them so the awkward silence grows between them before Austin moves to break it.

“Let me take your number down, at least,” he says as he reaches into his back pocket to pull his sleek black iPhone out and hand it to her. She takes it, noticing no phone case on and she cringes because her phone wouldn’t survive a day. “In case you come back from vacation early.” There’s a teasing lilt in his tone and she offers a small smile as she inputs her number for him, “Or just so we could catch up. You’ve been missed.”

There’s that eye roll again and it makes his stupidly handsome grin immediately return. For her part, she offers another small smile and wave as she heads down the pathway, “until next time, then,” she replies and when she turns she takes a deep breath to disperse the tightness in her throat. Although it’s unlikely, she wishes the next time is never because she wouldn’t survive another experience.

[sinisterexaggerator]

Series Introduction: Tales of (Rebel) Scum and Villainy + Fic Introduction: The Scoundrel of Sriluur.

Welcome to the starting point of my magnum opus. This is, and will be, an ongoing, mostly canon-compliant series involving multiple characters, multiple ships, possibly a “reader” or two, and a various assortment of OCs written in what I like to think is meticulous detail.

This introduction will be used as a reference point for those who are new to the series, and is crossposted to Ao3 in the "notes section."

The span of time for this particular entry will begin in 74 BBY, as Hondo Ohnaka is never given a canon birthday, but I like to assume Weequay age at a slower rate, as Hondo is still alive and kicking at the time of the Sequel Trilogy, residing at the Black Spire outpost on the planet Batuu where he owns and operates Ohnaka Transport Solutions.

This fic is only the beginning; these writings will be arranged in a series I will call “Tales of (Rebel) Scum and Villainy,” each story set in a different time period. Some may be shorter or longer than others, some may focus on other characters entirely, but the most prominent character will be Cad Bane (his birthday is said to be in 62 BBY, so it makes sense to me to start chronologically with Hondo, though their stories will very much be intertwined).

This story, The Scoundrel of Sriluur, will contain a deeply flawed mother-son relationship, poor examples of parenting, child neglect, poverty, theft, lying, cheating, religious conflicts, family drama, slavery, and canon-typical behavior and violence.

I should mention that Sriluurian, the language of the Weequay, "is formed by guttural mumbles and subdued whispers." It also uses hieroglyphs as a written form. It is a language used to communicate with people from other tribes, as Weequay from the same clan/tribe could communicate via their pheromones and did not need to use spoken language. "As a result, speech was only a secondary form of communication for Weequay, and they seldom spoke a whole sentence, resulting in Humans mistakenly believing the species to be unintelligent." Throughout this fic, I will use [[text that looks like this]] when Weequay are communicating with one another.

Eventually, you will meet a whole cast of canon characters, which of course includes the entire Star Wars menagerie of bounty hunters. I will use and reference canon events in my stories, but I will also use what little information there is about Cad Bane and Hondo Ohnaka to flesh out my own ideas.

In the future, expect there to be smut and explicit sexual content, as well as examples of toxic relationships, domestic violence, group sex/orgies, rough sex, non-consensual elements, sexual related trauma, off-color jokes, teasing, and an intersex Cad Bane who has both male and female parts, including a cloaca, hemipenis (like reptiles), underdeveloped paired ovaries (which may or may not be capable of "laying" eggs like Duros in legends/canon), oviducts, and other internal sex organs used primarily for pleasure sensations, which shall be explained in context.

Fair warning, ships will include Bane with Jango Fett, Hondo Ohnaka, original characters including a female Jedi, a retired clone, and Shriv Suurgav from Battlefront 2 (who is also a member of the Duros species), however, Jango Fett and Hondo Ohnaka are the primary ships. Hondo also experiences pairings outside of Bane, including original characters and Aurra Sing.

Though this series will have a lot to do with the various relationships between Bane, Hondo, and others, it does not completely revolve around sex, but it will be a very big part of it, as I am first and foremost a smut writer. You might say this is a love story between two very bad people who deserve each other, and I am thrilled to bring "Banaka" to the fandom.

Finally, a hat tip to @allsystemsblue on Tumblr, as she has helped me to brainstorm on numerous occasions, including talking with me day in and day out about these characters, cheering me on so that I can finally bring this story to life. I will most likely credit her (“Teeth”) as I go, where a shoutout is deserving of extra attention.

As always, kudos and comments/feedback is appreciated. Please “subscribe to user” on Ao3 if you don’t want to miss updates. Also, be on the lookout for another series called “Bounty Hunter B-sides,” which will include crack scenarios and all my weird AU ideas that cannot be included in my “canon.” I can only hope my writing resonates with at least a few people. Enjoy (or not)!

---

Start your journey here.

[idyllic-affections]

a letter from aphelion. ♡

a letter to all the people who have made my year in one way or another. there is no particular order to this post, and some of you may find that i don't have much to say, but all of you who are on this post are here because i can recall times i've enjoyed speaking to you or seeing you in my notifs or just existing within the same space as you. i hope you all have only the best year possible next year—it seems like most of us need and deserve a good year, hm? though i regard myself as quite a gentle and sentimental soul, i struggle with putting it into words. it's ironic, considering i am a writer. i mention this because even if the things i say in this post are quite silly and lighthearted, just know that i earnestly mean what i say and each and every one of you has contributed to my year in a memorable way <3 may we all have a good 2024.

       dear @lillonvia,

YOU!!!! YOU!!!!! HELLO. HI. MEETING YOU HAS BEEN SUCH AN HONOR AND SUCH A DELIGHTFUL PART OF MY YEAR!!! i love the little silly conversations we often have—i think it's probably a good thing that we share so many random fandoms. it's as if we lived somewhat similar lives growing up despite growing up in such vastly different environments <3 but anyway, i think the fandoms we share are really helpful in being able to have such fun conversations!! we have many things to talk about!!! despite the vast difference in timezones!!!! please go to sleep at normal hours!!!!!!! /lh

       dear @starryshinyskies,

HI AVERY <3 i was literally always so delighted to see you in my inbox back when you were still ⭐️ anon, and i still feel that kind of joy now! you have so many good and fun thoughts to share with me about things i've written and i love that... i hope moral injury ch. 2 will give you that same kind of brainrot again when it does finally come out!!!! if it doesn't that's okay too HAHA but i always love hearing your thoughts on... literally anything ever!! i have some fics of yours that i've been meaning to reblog btw, so maybe watch out for multiple essays in your notifications in the coming weeks LMAO

       dear @aroacenezha,

MAJI I AM SQUISHING YOU LOVINGLY IN MY HANDS or i can just look at you fondly if you don't want to be squished. i am okay with that too <3 i often think about how we met and i think it's both kind of funny and kind of nice. "baizhu would hate dottore" agreed so real so true that post was so correct in so many ways RAAHHH 🤝 the nice part of the way we met being my baizhu series. despite me having NOT updated it any time recently, has brought a lot of people into my inbox and sometimes into my life and i think it's very cool. i love when people feel seen. and furthermore please always send me your oc thoughts and your blorbo thoughts i love them so much 🙏🙏🙏

       dear @soleillunne,

ALYYY MY LOVE MY BELOVED you are so precious and treasured.... i love what you do, i think your writing is beautiful and has such a poetic quality to it. and i love when you appear in my inbox and notifs!!!! though tumblr is very mean to you and always eats your asks.... you are important to me and so many other people and i hope you always know that. genuinely. you are such a kind and wonderful person and you are always loved.

       dear @heiayen,

YOU. *GRABS YOU* *EVILLY* you. you are so. idk but YOU ARE. can't think of a good word. no words, only vibes. you are vibe-y. /lh you're another moot that has the most top tier responses to things, even non-fanfic posts. you just have Things To Say, and in the best way possible. your thoughts are so fun..... i interact with you rather often—more than some people realize, perhaps—and you are a dearly beloved presence in my life 🫶🫶

       dear @zeldadou,

though we haven't talked too much recently, i still think of you often! i love seeing your art and the way it changes and develops... and i love hearimg your thoughts about things or when you send me fun things you think i would like <33 you are a very kind person in my eyes, whether you realize it or not.

       dear @june-again,

i hope life treats you well, always. you don't deserve anything less. i think of you fondly! your kindness is and was very remarkable and treasured especially when i was first adjusting to tumblr and posting my fics and whatnot..... by the time we met, i was still very new, so i appreciated any kind interactions (i still do of course! it's just a bit different when you're new to a website like this haha)!!

       dear @kaixserzz,

I FUCK WITH YOUR THOUGHTS DUDE YOU SEEM TO COME INTO MY INBOX AT THE MOST RANDOM AND UNEXPECTED OF TIMES AND DROP THE MOST HEARTBREAKING ANGST POSSIBLE??????? HELLO?????????? ARE YOU. DOING OKAY??!???!!!! YOU WAKE UP AND CHOOSE VIOLENCE. ESPECIALLY WITH KAVEH. WTF (me too tbh 😇) /lh please always send me any platonic thoughts you have i will entertain all of them fr 💥💥💥 you have such good thoughts in that brain of yours 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

       dear @archonsbane,

i haven't spoken to you much, so forgive me if this seems or comes off as a sudden or jarring tag, but i do enjoy talking to you. fatui moot <3 you GET IT get it about the harbingers' dynamics. i hope we have more opportunities to speak sometime! (and if that sentiment isn't shared, that is totally fine. i would respect it either way 🫶)

       dear @lesanyanyas,

we only became mutuals recently, but i hope you know that i always thought of you as one of the "blorbo from my notes" kinds of people haha!!! i always saw and recognized you whenever you were in my notifications or my inbox and you always have such delightful and fun things to say <33

       dear @umgatochamadopercyval,

CLARA HIII you are such a remarkable person, you know? you've been nothing but kind and understanding, and you have such fun thoughts and ideas!! i love hearing about them sm. even if my responses are delayed, just know that you are always welcome to ramble in my dms about your ocs or your fic ideas and i will never find it to be annoying or anything. it isn't annoying. it never is.

                                                 sincerely,                                                                           aphelion.

there are people who did not make this list, and to those people, i hope we can become closer in 2024! if you aren't on here, it's truly only because i've hardly spoken to you. so... perhaps that is something we can do next year! i think of all my mutuals very fondly. i don't think of any of you as "less than" just because we haven't spoken mwah mwah <3

[jacksonscouts]

Last week @paigegonerogue grabbed 4 badges on the first day! Let's get to know our fellow Scout!

How do you usually participate in the TLOU fandom? 

I’d say… unhealthily…No, but I love TLOU and I write fanfiction and I also do analysis of the show. I ramble about anything from dialogue to cinematography to emotional beats!

I post mostly positive and complimentary things on my tumblr and on my AO3, which as my readers can tell you is also very positive and uplifting😅😅

Happy Pride Month! How do you feel about the portrayal of queer stories in TLOU?

Happy pride month to you too! I really love it! I love how they present different types of love and relationships with so much care and tenderness, and let the people be real. But also Long, Long Time was so cruel of them to make because that broke me!

Do you like Jackson Scouts? 

I absolutely love it! I think it’s really awesome how you’re trying to bring some positivity and fun into a community that can be very negative! I think it’s super cool what you’ve been doing, and how you’ve given a lot of people a reason to share art and writing, and say things they liked about TLOU rather than the things they didn’t, which seems to have been a lot of what I’ve been seeing lately.

Who's your favorite TLOU character and why? 

I mean, that’s too hard man🤣😭 So, so many. I love them all. TLOU has so many great, depthful characters and—Ellie, it’s Ellie—to just choose one would be impossible!

Would you like to promote anything?

Oh heck yeah! I feel famous lol. First, I’d like to go promote my analysis posts about TLOU. They’re on my blog @paigegonerogue (same as my AO3) under the tag #PaigeGoneAnalysis (could that be cleaner? Yes. Am I gonna change it? Nope.) I’ve talked about cinematography, dialogue types, the infected scene, episode 8, and more! If you’re interested in reading multiple paragraphs about lighting, boy oh boy do I have the blog for you!

Next, I’ll promote my AO3! I write non-smut fanfic, currently with two ongoing projects going on, ‘Anatomy of a Broken Girl’, a series where Ellie and Joel meet at Silver Lake (super dark and angsty fic), and ‘AbelCode’, a story where Ellie and Joel meet working for a tech company (more upbeat) (mostly…)

I’d also like to thank all of my writer friends, who all do absolutely incredible work… and also myself because I WON. I GOT ALL THE BADGES FIRST I WON😎🔥🎸

[alexluvsskittlez]

I haven't made an into in months so uhhh..

HI EVERYPONY!!! my name is Alex, you can also call me Sam, Zoe, or Binoo

I'm 14 years old, my birthday is April 23rd

i am an artist, animator, content creator, and I'm learning how to sing :3

I'm audhd and dyscalculic (idk if i spelled that right sorry)

my special interests are Paramore and my ocs

I am currently hyperfixated on Emily Armstrong

I am PARAMORE'S #1 FAN!!!!!!!

i am a PROUD SELFSHIPPER!!!!

BYI:

I am Emily Armstrong's #1 defender (sorry haters XD)

I have the worst sense of humor on this planet

I joke about rpf (real people fiction) sometimes. I don't actually support it. but at the same time idgaf if other people involve themselves in it just don't be too weird

I usually don't think before I post so if I post something wrong please let me know

idrgaf about proship discourse and it's not something that I like involving myself in. I generally don't care what people ship but I still think shipping illegal stuff is weird as hell

I get pissed really easily but I promise I'm nice

bands/artists i like (warning, its a LOT):

Paramore, pierce the veil, linkin park, mcr, Hayley Williams, pinkshift, meet me @ the altar, silverstien, fall out boy, green day, bring me the horizon, p!atd, la dispute, lemon demon, sunny day real estate, Will Wood and the tapeworms, Will Wood, asking Alexandria, not enough space, get scared, the used, Owl city, mitski, Florence + the machine, stomach book, she wants revenge, Weezer, picture me broken, rites of spring, halfnoise, isles & glaciers, dead by sunrise, black veil brides, system of a down, limp Bizkit, silly goose, dead sara, scary kids scaring kids, alesana, femtanyl, the cure, modern baseball, foxszn, 3drinkz, yellow card, vylet pony, american football, boygenius, Avril Lavigne, millionaires, Kesha, s3rl, 3oh!3, attack attack, brokencyde, and waterparks.

shows I like:

smiling friends, steven universe, gravity falls, murder drones, madoka magica, the owl house, amphibia, clone high, invader zim, eddsworld, spooky month, inside job, pelswick, tadc, toopy and binoo, mlp, and the ghost and molly mcgee.

movies i like:

the final riot, steven universe the movie, atsv, itsv, the fnaf movie, mean girls, juno, the tamagotchi movie (i think there's actually multiple but I'm specifically talking about the anime one made in 2007), toopy and binoo the movie, and mlp the movie

games i like:

splatoon 2, fnaf, minecraft, animal crossing, mario kart, castle cats, pjsekai, nintendogs, roblox, regretevator, cart ride into 17 pregnant hyenas (rip </3), baldis basics, and ddlc

youtubers i like:

Kurtis Conner, Danny Gonzalez, Drew Gooden, funkyfrogbait, bredrawz, flamingo, benoftheweek, sinjin drowning, cybernoop, dantdm, stariaat, lovely lor, juj, and penguinz0

musicals i like:

mean girls, be more chill and Hamilton (I'm still getting into musicals so if you have any recommendations please tell me!!)

titles I gave myself (probably not necessary but idgaf)

Paramore's #1 fan

Pim Pimling's spouse

professional Pim kisser

#1 tell me how listener

#1 misadventures fan

#1 Emily Armstrong defender

tamagotchi dad of 3

spinel and mars' parent

#1 laika's comet fan

#1 class of 09 the flipside hater

#1 mip hater

worst dancer in history

other stuff I like (some are fandom related some aren't):

alternative subcultures/fashion, laikas comet, homestuck, warrior cats, tamagotchis/digital pets in general, mid-late 2010s animation memes, old internet stuff, space stuff, and animals

dni:

basic dni stuff uhh, people who are 12 and under, people who harass proshippers (yeah they're weird but harassing them is no better than being one), Paramore haters, Emily Armstrong haters, and those 4chan femcel self proclaimed problematic mfs. other than that i just block freely.

other socials:

ig: alexluvsskittlez

youtube: alexluvsskittlez

sketchers united: alexluvsskittlez

newgrounds: alexluvsskittlez

deviantart: pixelisgay

spotify: Pimkisser69420👽🙏

ermm that's all BYEEE!!!

[doggone-husky]

「 ✦ Introduction Post ✦ 」

-ˏˋ⋆ ᴡ ᴇ ʟ ᴄ ᴏ ᴍ ᴇ ⋆ˊˎ-

< ᴰᵒᵍ, ˡᵛˡ ²⁷, ʰᵉ/ᵗʰᵉʸ >

This is my therian blog where I hope to interact with the therian community again and meet new people! My name is Dog (or Devil, Husky, Red) and I go by mixed-matched pronouns (I'm Genderfluid).

I started this account as I've been in and out of the community for quite some time, but I miss the social connection and so here I am, once more, attempting to interact and become friends with other therians.

I awoke back in late 2010 and have been a therian for nearly 14 years now. It's been a long journey and I've gone through many theriotypes to get to where I am now, but I'm happy and proud to have as it lets me be confident in who I am, a Husky!

Some Random Things About Me: ☾- Scots/American ☾- born in Louisiana, live in Texas (it's too hot) ☾- is an artist and writer ☾- plays video games ☾- loves listening to music ☾- in multiple fandoms (hyperfixated on Hazbin Hotel) ☾- heavy Simp/Hopeless Romantic ☾- ginger/redhead w/ freckles ☾- has central heterochromia ☾- big nature enthusiast ☾- loves hiking/camping/hunting ☾- practices paganism/nature spiritualism ☾- loves the color red ☾- loves rainstorms, snow, and windy days ☾- hates summer heats, loud noises, and wet socks ☾- enjoys swimming ☾- favorite video games are minecraft, stardew valley, and fortnite ☾- collects random things like rocks and sticks and shells ☾- loves vulture culture

Feel free to interact if you, too, are a therian and/or enjoy the same things! :D

—————————————————————————————————

DNI: anti-therian, homophobes, transphobes(etc), p3dos, z00s

[myobsessionsspace]

tiktok anon here. i agree that i dont have a problem with people acknowledging them as friends than smth more because truthfully i am not particularly a shipper, theyre just my favorite dynamic and i dont mind (some) shipping spaces. its just the tone of the comments is so different to other ships and hard agree on them being ignored a lot too. i seen a compilation of jungkook reacting to bts members coming to his lives that just so happened to ignore the times jimin showed up (and jungkook proceeds to beg him to meet up lol).

non shippers want the pairings to be all treated similarly but the way they interact (or dont) with jikook content sets them apart immediately.

and i for sure think theres more secret shippers who just do not want to be attacked. many years ago i was in some GCs with ppl who actively talked against shipping on their accounts but secretly were into it and to go back to tiktok, i noticed a jikook video where there was 1 lone jikooker defending themselves against multiple people but the jikookers comments were the one getting more hearts. meaning people were silently agreeing but didnt want to step in.

Follow up to this anon

Hi Lovely,

You’re not wrong. I see it too😪

It’s sad that those opposed to people celebrating Jikook’s bond are so loud and scary, that they come in masses to overshadow, co-opt and strong arm off people. It’s sad that there are widely accepted duos that aren’t seen as untouchable like VMin, Sope, Namjoon and others but people have to appreciate Jikook in secret, even just as a platonic best friend duo. The sad thing is it’s not one subsection in the fandom but from all sides (I won’t get into that here).

When it comes to those that supposedly don’t ship at all there’s still this weird selective blindness.

I saw a TikTok the other day that I sent to my friend to see if she noticed the same thing I noticed:

Credit: TikTok

The tiktoker said she watched the live several times and if you don’t know which live she’s talking about, it’s a live where Jungkook not only watched Jimin’s Suchwita episode but also other Jimin content.

How the tiktoker perceived Jungkook’s live was different to how I perceived it and how other jikookers did.

It’s baffling how it works, just baffling.

Thank you for adding to the conversation and chatting with me.

💜

[getvalentined]

Something else that I think a lot of people in fandom need to remember—particularly my main fandom, particularly right now—is that every piece of popular media we enjoy is a product.

I'm talking very specifically about popular media here, mass media studio projects with marketing budgets and teams of hundreds or thousands of people, so put down your whataboutisms about indy projects and creating for the love of the craft and please meet me where I am actually standing.

Now, to be clear, good media is very rarely something that the creators see as nothing more than a profit endeavor. This is their work, and they want it to be good! That's why they started creating things in the first place!

However.

The development of popular media is inherently profit-driven, and the act of monetizing that media isn't inherently greedy or predatory. This applies all across the board, really; if you have a problem with the people who made an award-winning piece of media wanting to get paid for making it, you also have a problem with a tiny artist like me having a Patreon. By insisting that any creator trying to monetize their work has to be doing it strictly out of greed and must only have chosen to create because they wanted money is bullshit—in demanding that any creator do what they love to do exclusively because they love it and not because they need to eat and pay their bills, you're devaluing the entire concept of art.

There are legalities at play for some fields—fanfiction is a profitless endeavor because it's illegal to monetize, that doesn't mean those people don't deserve financial support—but that's a tangent we're not going to go off on right now. Again, meet me where I'm standing, not where you might think you found a "gotcha" to disprove my point.

I'm not saying "waaah think of the studios," I'm saying that insisting a work of popular media should be both accessible enough to build a big fandom where you can have a huge global community (hence the "popular" in "popular media") while also having absolutely no monetization in any capacity is absolutely ludicrous. It would be cool if that were possible, but it's not. Not at this scale, not in this way.

If you believe that the only way for creators to prove that they "respect" their own work (whatever the hell that means) is for your favorite piece of popular media to be entirely and permanently unmonetized, released globally and consistently maintained out of the goodness of the creators' hearts, you're on the wrong side of this argument.

At the end of the day, regardless of your feelings or your fandom, one fact continues to ring true:

Popular media is a product.

It always has been. Products need to be paid for, one way or another. Going on unhinged tirades about paying for a piece of popular media in your favorite series because you've decided that creators continuing to create new titles in one of their favorite series to work on means they have no respect for the original work they created is so far off the path of common sense it boggles the mind.

To get more specific to the fandom in question: you know this is a video game, right? The original was too! Whatever copy you played, however you played it, someone paid for it. It was monetized. The sequel film also cost money. So did every other game in the series. Every single title, all of which were developed with oversight from the same team and headed by the same people, the same writers and directors and artists, has been monetized. The only difference with the new one is that the monetization is shittier—but it's also entirely optional!

This game is important to you, I get it—it's important to me too! But as a creator, as an artist, I can't even fathom the mindset that putting multiple years and millions of dollars into the development of a product in one of the most popular IPs in the field and monetizing the result is "undeniable proof" that the team behind it are bloodsucking fiends with no love for their craft and no respect for their audience.

These are the same people that made the first one. The one that you're saying is the best thing ever created. They wrote that, they designed that, they directed that. If they want to keep playing around in the universe that they made, they're allowed, and we can't expect them to do it without seeing the result as a product because THE ORIGINAL WAS ALSO A PRODUCT.

And if you have a problem with any of that, guess what?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO PLAY IT.

Being nasty to the people who are interested, who are enjoying themselves, declaring that you are the true fan and they're all disrespectful idiots and infants with no sense because you don't like that popular media is always a product is, frankly, much more disrespectful and infantile behavior than someone sitting on the bus playing a fucking mobile game for fun.

Also the previous mobile title they did that lasted less than a year was killed because of actual real life financial fraud, not because of a lack of interest, downloads, or concurrent players. At the time that it got the axe, they were in the midst of approving a third wave of ambassadorships, they had active sponsorships running in the game, it was doing well—particularly for being the series' first foray into a new genre. But, to the shock and bewilderment of everyone in the entire world, we are in the timeline where the co-creator of Sonic the Hedgehog used his position in the development of a Final Fantasy VII battle royale mobile game to facilitate insider trading. Look it up.