#I love her so much silly old lady kitty

[artificiallita]

save me, butch wolverine

counterpart to my designs for fem-deadpool. logan gets silly crayon doodles too because it’s only fair.

(headcanons under the cut)

lesbian wolverine brain rot. so:

- her first name is jane. do not call her it under any circumstances or she will bite u. has been called logan for so long that she can’t remember who started it or why.

- per my version of deadpool’s variants all being women besides one dudepool, logan’s variants are also various flavours of lesbian scattered across the multiverse. apart from cavillrine. he’s still cavallrine.

- honestly i could rant for about six and a half years about the practical implications of logan (2017) with this dyke but it makes me feel too much and as such i will restrain myself. but it’s all v sad and both old lady logan and worst wolverine logan love laura so gd much and are trying very very hard to be good moms even if it doesn’t come naturally.

- so gay she broke the kinsey scale. super graphic ultra dagger butch.

- braless. all the time. yes the scene with the time ripper happens exactly as it played out in the movie. wade is incredibly normal about this.

- basically a walking rainforest of body hair. doesn’t shave, has never bothered to try. largely a result of the more animalistic traits of her mutation.

- smokes a *lot* because she has a v heightened sense of smell and it helps to cover up the stinkiness of every trash can and public bathroom in a 100ft radius. but also she just likes it. (im sure this is a p popular headcanon, im adopting it bc i love it)

- her kitty ear cowlicks are *kind of* natural. styles her hair around them bc they will not sit flat otherwise. kind of a preening slut about her hair, incredibly laissez-faire about every other aspect of her appearance. she has an undercut too because i have no self control.

not including fic bits this time around bc about 90% of her dialogue thus far is telling wade to shut up, fuck off, or some variation thereof. might post a teaser snippet if enough people want to see it though 👀

[nor-4]

Scott Street

I'm sorry the part three took so long tumblr didn't save everything i wrote earlier.

Mike Schmidt ft Childhood lover Reader.

"(Y/n) have you seen that weird guy." Cory said as he was gossiping while driving otw to your flower store, "What guy?" You asked as you were checking through your social medias for orders.

"The security guy, he was running man. Probably saw someone stealing." cory joked as he laugh over the thought of a security guard failing his job.

"Cory let's buy food there first I'm hungry" you said as you were pointing at a fast food branch, "finally I'm starving."

"Hey mikeyyy! Look what i saw, isn't she cute??" you asked excitedly as the kitten you saw was holding up to you as if she doesn't want to let you go, mike started patting the cat as he was thinking of a name.

"maybe we should call her Abigail?" mike asked as an idea of a name, "Hmm.. Maybe abby. Yeah abby sounds good!" you said as you were looking at the kitty.

"Hi abbyy.." Mike cheekly said as he was looking at the kitten with adoration.

"Still love sicking over a woman again." Jeremiah said as he was sipping his coffee while mike just snapped out to his thoughts, "I already saw her, she was wearing this dress same design as her old once. It was her favorite. And then behind her there's this man carrying a bunch of boxes." Mike stated as he closed his eyes trying to remember other details.

"that's a hard one, a lot of owner here had just ordered things." Jeremiah said as they started packing up because their shift is finally over.

"Here abby, isn't she cute?" You said as you were sitting on a bench with abby while she waits for her brother outside the school while cory and the others were closing the store, "It's beautiful, thankyou miss (y/n)." Abby said as she hugged you letting you know how much thankful she is.

"My brother is there now, bye miss (y/n)" Abby waved as she started going to her brothers car same as you go to your parents car. "Having fun a little kid don't you?" Your mom asked she also adore abby she thinks of her as her own child at this point.

"Yeah time pass by so fast. She used to be a tiny kid." You said as cory started driving away from the school.

While mike is so curious seeing abby carrying a flower he started bombering her questions like, where did she get it, is it a boy who give her or anything that related to a boy.

"Silly mike. A nice lady give it to me she sells flowers near our school it's miss-" Abby turned around to see if you were still there, "Ohh.. She was gone." abby sadly said as she entered mike's backseat.

"You sure a nice lady gave you that, i will go to that flower shop tomorrow." Mike said as he was raising his eyebrows while looking at abby from the mirror, while abby is excited for you to meet her brother since abby had known you for too long.

[eminsunnytoons123]

Since i have now made Camilla, afghan hound And baskerville hound's redesigns, I Said that i'll now post my headcanons for the muppets! =^///^=

And for the sake of enjoyment And creativity, i'll risk it for all my besties/Brothers And Sisters/pen pals And for some more muppet fans =^_^=

And also im still thinking about more headcanons for them, just give me time to think ^///^; And i'll post the part two either tommorow or later! =^v^=

Lets start!

Kermit the frog:

• he is 22 years old in my AU, but he acts very mature for his age

• he is pansexual And polyamourous, he is dating miss piggy And fozzie

• he likes little jingle Bells, so thats why he has some on his Boots

• Uses prounouns he/him, but some muppets call Kermit an "it", mostly Constantine

• his parents AND over 3000 siblings have been seen in some episodes, but some of his siblings dont have lines

• he plays his banjo on the top of the boarding home And sings the rainbow connection song

• he still has his iconic And polite personalities, but he sometimes gets annoyed when some insults him, but not always

• he sometimes accidentaly calls Clifford a "she", but Clifford actually doesnt mind nor does he care about any prounouns that the muppets call him

Fozzie bear:

• he is 24 years old in my AU, but he still acts goofy And silly like always

• he is queer, pansexual And polyamourous, And he is dating Kermit And miss piggy

• he doesnt only use Rubber chickens, he even uses any circus-related stuff

• he uses his water flower to spray others as a prank, oh! And he LOVES april fools Day

• he secretly likes hello Kitty and any silly cartoons, And he has an hello Kitty pin on his hat

• his jokes can SOMETIMES be funny, but theyre most of the time horrible And bad, And others always groan, roll their eyes And get annoyed by fozzie

• he likes anything thats colorful And that has rainbow colors in it

Miss Piggy:

• she is 23 years old, but he acts just the same And mature like on the muppets

• she is bisexual And polyamourous, And she is dating Kermit And fozzie

• she LOVES the 70s, 80s And even 90s women Fashion, especially if they have Pink shaded colors in it

• she has her pet Foo-Foo the dog, but she even has Gloria estefan as her pet

• she likes any bracelets And necklaces that have pearls on them, but even any kind of Crystals on them

• she is french-british in the Group, but she mostly says "moi" like always And speaks some french words in her sentences

• she practices karate, And she always tests it on one of the muppets in the boarding home, except for the children/kids

Gonzo the great:

• he is 22 years old in my AU

• he is pansexual And non-binary, And they is dating Camilla the chicken

• gonzo uses any prounouns, but most of the muppets call him by "he/him/his" but gaffer the pirate Cat calls him an "it" And by "they/them"

• they likes doing their nails, he has his nails colored in a non binary colors flag

• he even does acrobatic tricks, not only anything thats dangerous, even sometimes Circus tricks

• gonzo has an tail, with an blue fluff on the end of it, just like how Clifford now has an tail

• he isnt only interested in girl chickens, but sometimes roosters (not in an zoophilic way.)

Rowlf the dog:

• he is 29 years old in my AU

• he is bisexual, And he is dating selena the brunette haired whatnot, who is a straight Lady but she supports rowlf being bisexual

• he sometimes gives Texas vibes to other muppets

• baskerville And Afghan hounds are his most close friends in the boarding home, but he gets annoyed by baskerville And his singing

• he is pretty much interested in any classical music that have piano music in it, like Mozart

• rowlf can sometimes be pretty sarcastic in the Group, like for example when someone tells him something exciting, he says: "okay, And?" And he Chuckles, but doesnt mean it in a rude way

Pepe the King prawn:

• he is 21 years old in my AU

• he is pansexual, genderfluid and polyamourous, And he is dating Rizzo And yolanda

• he has an childhood toy named topo sticky, even tho topo sticky COULD sometimes talk in the muppets, on TMS:LITBH he doesnt talk nor move. And Pepe sometimes gets embarassed when some of the muppets see him with his childhood toy topo sticky

• his actual name is Pepino Rodrigo Serrano Gonzales, because he had two mamas And one Papa (IN MY AU.), but some of the muppets found it hard to remember his real name, so Pepe just told them to call him "Pepe". But some of the muppets call him by his real name, like Mildred huxetetter And some other pretty much older And mature muppets in the boarding home

• he likes doing ballet, but not wearing male clothes for the ballet, only female clothes for the ballets like what ballerinas wear

• he sometimes does his acts with Seymour, but not only that, he even hangs out with him

• Pepe has an short wavy red hair unlike an spiky hair

Rizzo the rat:

• he is 21 years old in my AU

• he is bisexual And polyamourous, he is dating Pepe And yolanda

• he has an colorful hair with neon rainbow colors, but his actual hair color is either Dark Brown or blonde

• they has an patch on his tail because he Got Hurt when he was Younger, he was probably bitten by a cat And he even Got stitches because that Cat nearly ate off his tail, but only the top of it

• he is even a demiboy, And he uses he/they prounouns

• he infact does have hair in here, And before in the muppets his hair was NEVER shown

• he sometimes Chuckles And laughs at pepe's ballet, but he still loves him

Yolanda the rat:

• she is 21 years old in my AU

• she is bisexual And polyamourous, And she is dating Rizzo And pepe

• she has an puffy And more longer blonde-yellow hair unlike in her original version

• she is an perfectionist for makeup And Fashion, just like miss piggy

• she had an EX-boyfriend named William the rat, but then he wasnt Hanging out with her And he secretly had another girlfriend And he was clearly cheating on yolanda. It is pretty Unknown what happend to him, but here is an picture of William on yolanda's door of her room And it has an knife on it. And in the first episode of TMS:LITBH, she told Pepe And Rizzo this (read the scenario):

Pepe: "I dont know if deadly's asleep, okay?"

Rizzo: "how do you not know if deadly's asleep!?"

Pepe: "I dunno."

Yolanda: "you two are stupider than my EX boyfriend."

Rizzo: "wait! You have an EX?"

Yolanda: "well... I had him, I had that idiot named William. Now he is in his grave."

• so yolanda probably either joked about that William's in his grave, or she either really killed him, And its based on this comic I made on second of november 2023

• she loves colorful bracelets, And she has three of them on her tail, And one on her wrist

• she likes baking muffins, cookies And small cakes

• she likes doing hairstyles, makeup, putting dresses on and any iconic And fashionable clothes, And she likes reading magazines And being with Rizzo And pepe

• she is british-american

Dr bunsen honeydew:

• he is 27 years old in my AU

• he is pansexual, And he is dating beaker

• he likes any weird And strange science And Experiments, just like the ones he makes

• bunsen actually does have eyes, And he sometimes Opens them but as if he is squinting his eyes

• he always wears safety glasses whenever he is doing one of his Experiments

• bunsen sometimes tests his new Experiments on beaker, but beaker doesnt get hurt or anything

Beaker:

• he is 28 years old in my AU

• he is bisexual And he is dating dr bunsen honeydew

• he sometimes gets nervous And scared when bunsen wants to try his Experiments on beaker, but he doesnt get Hurt nor does anything bad happen to him

• he sometimes even says: "beep!" Or "boop!" And sometimes even "hello!" And "bye-bye!"

• he likes gently petting small Animals, like kittens, bunnies, parrots... Etc

• he doesnt now wear an Scientist suit on TMS:LITBH

Thats now all my headcanons for the first two parts! I'll make the other parts tommorow =^_^=

[irlcats-bracket]

Bracket 6 Round 1 Poll 4

Chubbles vs Pandy

check their descriptions and chubbles propaganda under the cut!

CHUBBLES

Chubbles is very round and very loving! She loves to follow her humans around, likes meeting new people, and enjoys being picked up and held. She is also very motherly towards younger cats in her household that her family has adopted. Aside from that, she is a senior cat that spends a lot of time napping. :)

PANDY

A sweetheart who likes to keep her distance and observe from afar, but if she decides she likes you, you may be blessed by a pandy on your lap. She is 13 (grandma kitty) but very small and has been mistaken for a kitten. she recently had a tooth removed and now likes to stick her tongue out.

CATPAGANDA

CHUBBLES

She literally climbs on top of me and gives me cat kisses (She is silly)

Here she is being Very Face

she is rotund also

She sits with her plush pals sometimes <3

General image of her being cute

She rolls around a lot for belly rubs (She loves them like a lot) and also literally just sleeps on her back like this

Pets be upon her

She sits funny too<3

She is an absolute little darling who loves coming into my room when I sleep (she knows when I get ready for bed now) and cuddling up Right Next to my face because she loves me :) She's also very motherly to the two kittens we adopted even while they're not her own. She follows people around a lot too just because she loves them so much like I've seriously never seen a cat so sweet?? And she makes little chirps instead of meows and it is so silly of her. Chubbles my beloved a vote for Chubbles is a vote for a lovely old lady

[pinkydoggy83]

❤️🖤 Gosh dang it here I go again. This movie I swear.

Spoilers ahead:

I really just want to fan over the Ladynoir parts because that whole sequence just won me over. My goodness!

LIKE THIS BANTER OH MY HEART. And how they playfully fight each other YES

Them being young silly kids in love <33 Saving the city side by side together.

This scene OF COURSE HOW CAN YOU NOT

LIKE I SAID CUTE SILLY KIDS IN LOVE. This one just hits close to home for me. <3

I just been screenshotting every scene like crazy. It's feeding my hopeless-romantic heart. I just love the way they're just flying around the city and dancing on rooftops. <33 Being together with her kitty and his lady.

This line just melts my heart. My sibling was watching next to me and the way their mouth dropped. Same bro same.

❤️🖤 Closing thoughts:

There's a few problems with the movie (biggest one would be the transitions to each scene being too quick/jarring) BUT I wanna focus on Ladynoir.

It just sends me back those feelings I had when I first saw fan works of these two. Like the good old days. It's so sweet and you can really feel how they work together as a duo. The whole sneaking out in hero form to end up spend the night together. That whole thing.

This all just feels like fanfiction in the best way. And after everything the show has been doing, I just needed this good Ladynoir fluff. It really reminded me why I originally loved the show and these two. <3

TL;DR There's Ladynoir and I'm eating it up. Getting feelings of nostalgia. Man I miss Ladynoir so much.

[virtualtyrant69]

Currently watching Superman 1978 and here are my reactions:

Wow, the Superman theme? Amazing, inspiring, sensational!

Why is Jor-El so old? This is the father of a baby???

Lmao get phantom zoned fuckers, Man of Steel could never with these graphics

Omg the reflective suits lol, it's like they're biking at night

Also love how the curl is apparently genetic and not a style choice on Kal's part

Omg his wife is so young compared to him??!?

1970s graphics are to die for/pos I love them so much

Again, man of steel could never

This is what happens when climate change goes too far smh 😔

Lmao get rekt krypton

Ooh 70s generic man scream! I love that one!

Wait, kryptonians know about Einstein?!

And the Chinese?

I love that that baby is just spinning

Omg Ma and Pa!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Martha's middle name is Clark??

Awww teen Clark ❤️

Oh he has such a silly goofy run

He had a stroke?!?! He's dead?!?!? He gave the worst pep talk ever and then died. Rip to you king

I also love the 1940s setting so far

Clark is such a plain guy he eats regular Cheerios (derogatory)

Love the iconic red flannel

Don't worry Martha, he's gonna visit as often as he can

Wait since this is the 40s, do we think my mans gets drafted?? Or like, since he technically doesn't exist in the USA he gets a pass?

If Jor-El has been dead for thousands of years how did he know about Einstein or the Chinese?

Wait, so 12 years have passed in this weird montage that isn't a montage?? He's 30 now?? He didn't visit his mom for 12 years? She could be dead!

Ok so he just skipped the war in his knowledge montage

Jimmy is so cute I just wanna squish his cheeks

Oh Clark is so Guy rn, he's so Average

Oh I love how he's pretending he can't open a bottle, this is so funny

Lmao Jimmy calling Perry "sugar"

Awww he sends checks to his mom ❤️ but does he still visit her >:|

I love his just some guy vibes

Omg I love him, Henry Cavill could never!! I mean, can you honestly imagine that man saying "swell" unironically?

He's such a big dork I love him

Oh ok he came to earth in '38, started his time skip in '56 and it's now 1968? Or is the time weird and it's in '78?

First day on the job and he gets robbed at gunpoint smh

He caught and bullet and then "fainted" and then he accidentally used his x-ray vision?? Man can't catch a break

Shout out to the seeing eye dog who barks when ppl try to steal/ripoff the blind newspaper seller

Omg lex just killed a guy by train

Wait, lex isn't bald? Also that woman he's with? Love her costume design, it's so slay

So is lex not a celebrity/business owner in this movie? Ok

And I've given it more thought, if Clark landed in 1940 then this movie would take place in 1970 which somewhat matches the costuming choices

Oh Clark sweety I love you so much you are such an idiot/pos he almost walked into the ladies room and he got his coat stuck in the door lol

He really is just some guy!!! waiting for the elevator

Huh, I didn't know they used to have waiting rooms for flights at newspaper offices, wack

Omg he just changed into his Superman suit and a pimp said his outfit was bad, I love this this is so camp

Metropolis just got their blorbo ❤️

*saves Lois lane and then infodumps on her* what a man, love that for him

Aww the little wave as he said bye, so cute

He just left a boat in the middle of the road lmao

Aww he saved a kitty in a tree, ajdhslsj girl just got hit for telling a lie about how a man saved her cat

Superman doing what Homelander could never

Ah the 70s, when you could smoke indoors on the job

Love Lois and her nic addiction. Also girl got dressed up for a man who saved her life once and then took off. You know what? Me too girl

"how big are you? I mean, how tall are you?" Okayyyy get it I guess, Miss Lane coming out with the real questions

Girl just asked him to look at her underwear, the flirting between them is amazing

They flew from south Jersey to New York in a romantic Aladdin-esque way

Lmao he dropped her

Love the poetry Lois is dropping out of nowhere

Man just upstaged himself on a date wow love him

Oh ok so he took off in 1948, landed in 1951, went on his trip in 1966, and it is now 1978, ok that makes way more sense

Luthor's secretary is so slay

Shout out to my fellow Native who sold bad land for an amazing price to some guy he didn't even know. Get that bag however you need to get that bag. Also, "At the stupid high price he offered for this worthless piece of desert, I hope it's Custer." Iconic!!! W for the Natives

He can telepathically change his suit??

He can drill into the ground by spinning?!??

Lex's yellow flower suit is so slay

Clark is so wet and pathetic rn, love that look on him

Wow unsolicited kiss, Miss Teschmacher how could you? You were so slay! Clark looked so sad and hurt afterwards D':

Is he pushing the plates of the earth back together?!?!? What?!?!?!!!!!

My man, Clark kent, is pushing two tectonic plates back together with his bare hands from the center of the Earth, what the fuck

Oh my God he also used himself as a rail for a train

Love the obvious miniature town and flood but also, Clark honey blocking it with rocks wouldn't work, ice breath would be the best option imo

Oh this is the movie where he flys so fast he turns back time, I want someone to explain to me mathematically how this works

Lois is such a girlboss the first thing she does when she sees Superman is rant and tell him off for not helping her. Girl. You just died to him. But still, werk

Oh he is bald! He was wearing wigs? Ok slay ig

10/10 loved this movie, it was camp, it was iconic!!!

[free-for-all-fics]

kitty cat anon here!! i am back and forever cursed with even more thoughts of our beloved fat fictional feline friend! these are more of loose little ideas but i have an even bigger and more coherent au on the backburner, so stay tuned!

onto my thoughts~

-you know how sometimes neighborhoods will have social media groups? basic comments about hoa regulations or random complaint or the odd advertising for lawn services? well, alex is a frequent guest on that page. some lady posts about how "there's a bear in her yard!" and that everyone should keep their kids inside. attached to the post is a grainy figure of your plump housemate, chowing down on the lady's picnic remnants. you had wondered why he smelt like charcoal and grass clippings when he came home...

another person posts about how there's a shadowy figure that keeps attacking their cart of snacks for delivery drivers! no matter how often they restock, there's always something missing and it's really bugging them! anyone have any ideas? you had found him waddling around with a snack wrapper stuck to his tail...silly cat.

-your neighbor keeps congratulating on your impending delivery! when you look at them oddly, they only coo at alex, who's glaring daggers at them at your feet when you try to keep him inside the house. they gush about what a good mother he'd be and you couldn't be quicker to try and explain that no, your darling little kitty is a male- but the old (perhaps senile) lady keeps fussing about how he must be close to birthing. you have to make an excuse of your oven being on fire to slam the door shut fast enough before he turns the old woman into curtains...

-speaking of neighbors, they're constantly wondering if you have children because why on earth would you need to be reprimanding something so often in your house?

"alex, no!" "put that down!" "out of your mouth, mister!" "what did i say, huh? now you're stuck." "don't you whine at me like that..." "i am not buying you more food."

-if you like kids, you can't have them at your place. it's too much of a liability off the bat. so, when you're babysitting children in your neighborhood or apartment complex, you're constantly back and forth looking between your fur-baby and the actual baby you're taking care of.

-there's a constant flood of pet shop advertisements in your mailbox (more than a few have suspiciously-shaped feline teeth marks on them...) and you constantly have the pleasure of getting them dropped in your lap when you're doing something. oh, a sale on treats? alex is insistent! you simply must go before they all run out! you don't want to deny him his basic human right!

-i'm stuck between the idea of you wanting him to be more social and taking him out, either on a leash or in a stroller or one of those pet backpack things or not wanting to take the risk of him lashing out or just being so stubborn that he won't move. you want him to WALK? what is wrong with you?! he's only coming with you if you hand-feed him a few treats (and the EXPENSIVE ones, not the generic ones!) every step of the way. eventually, you might get fed up enough to just carry him along the way (which was his goal, of course).

-you have to do all of the chores that require you standing while he's asleep. the second you sit down to sort laundry or something, bam. he's in your lap like a weighted blanket with his eyes boring into yours.

-this is going to sound so stupid but i love the idea. you know that trend of people showing their pets things where they've never seen before? like higher-up places or things they're not allowed to see. you're cooing and tutting like a mother hen as you lift him up to show him the top of shelves and inside the fridge and whatnot.

i guess these turned out to be more home-based than i thought but i just thought i'd share! :3 🫶

Kitty Nonnie!!! Good to hear from you! And omg I’m so excited to hear about this bigger AU you have cooking! 🐱💛

- Alex is an absolute glutton! You have to keep cords and random household items away from him because he’ll chew on anything and everything! “Alex why are you eating plaaaaaaastic??” And any time you say his name and ask what he has in his mouth in that tone and order him to spit it out, he just chews faster. He comes home with his stolen bounty in his mouth and politely sets it down in front of you and looks up at you like “well? Are you going to open it for me?” As if he did nothing wrong and finders keepers. He grumbles whenever the neighbors think he’s a pregnant female. Can’t they see he’s a handsome man??

- No matter how many times you call him chunky or try to get him on a new diet, he’s a firm believer that he’s not fat and doesn’t need to lose weight. He’s perfect the way he is! And then he proceeds to get stuck in the cat door like Winnie the Pooh and you’re like “Awww, so you need a little push?” And he meows in a way as if he’s saying, “You laugh, you die!”

- He doesn’t like kids. They’re too noisy and have no sense of boundaries or social etiquette. They keep wanting to pick him up and pet him and he’s doesn’t like anyone except you doing that. He scratched or bit a kid once as a warning and the crotch goblin started crying like a baby. He didn’t even scratch or bite them that hard! He didn’t even draw blood! Either way, he got in trouble so now he just hides away somewhere in the house they’ll never find him until they leave.

- He can’t read but he’s smart enough to recognize the advertisements by their bright and colorful visuals. He sees a fish, and that means food! You already have treats at home though, so you don’t always go to the pet store to get more. Only when you’re actually running low. That’s when you try to teach him he can’t always get what he wants. He doesn’t like this lesson very much.

- Alex doesn’t walk, he waddles. He’s a heckin Chonker. He can still jump though. The only time he’ll let you carry him like a baby is to get out of exercising. He’d rather be held or ride along in your backpack and look around. You can do all the work.

- Oh you’re sitting or laying down? That’s obviously an invite to sit in your lap and not move. He also loves anything warm so sometimes you’ll find him laying in the laundry basket and you’re like “Alex! Really? Get out of the laundry!” And have to pick him up to set him back down on the floor.

- He’d love to be tall! He’s too heavy to be a shoulder cat, but he likes seeing things from high up. It’s a whole new world up there! He loves bird watching, it’s his favorite show.

[mood2you]

The Magician's Assistant, by Ann Patchett

Book Review Reviews: answering 1-star reviews questions or formatting them into questions to answer. This has spoilers... go read it and come back!

Is this really Ann Patchett? This is only her third novel.

Why was the story only mildly intriguing? Why 350 pages when the book can be summed in one paragraph? It's basically one long joke, but you need all that time to get the characters to trust each other, so it can't be a short story.

Why was Sabine satisfied with living a half-life? This is a really good question, and several reviewers give evidence: only the assistant, married to a gay man, makes architectural models, not buildings. I didn't notice. I have 3 guesses: she's repressed, perhaps she's waiting for something. She went out of her way to buy men's pants for herself, that's a different thing from wearing Phan's cloths in his memory (or in the memory of Parsifal who bought them for him on a trip etc.) Admittedly a good trans guy would start some of the discord one reviewer complained was blissfully absent from their marriage. Or she's their daughter: Phan is always kissing her forehead, now he's looking after her and reassuring her, and he's the one who wanted kids when Parsifal hates them. Parsifal was basically presenting him a mixed family, when they met. One thing about this book is it barely has any dialogues between Sabine and Parsifal, maybe Paraifal is just that great. forgot my third guess, she's aromantic. A book has 2 gay characters and you stop looking, why shouldn't the whole book be gay? Maybe reviewers are missing... something. She can't date Kitty, that's stupid, but they should stay entangled. Oh I remembered my fourth guess: much like Dot and Kitty, she made a silly choice as a 20 year old and wouldn't let go. Granted, Albert and Howard are abusive.

Why was the literary symbolism so clumsy and obvious? So that I could understand it! The reviewer points to their last name being fetter (like handcuffs, I think, as in, you will never leave our little town... unless? Unless you're Harry Houdini or the wife of Harry Houdini) but that's actually German for feather (like flying, like freedom.) Yet Parsifal doesn't do dove tricks... (I might be taking that personally, I had an OC named Jordan Fetter because I thought it was smarter than Jordan Sylvan or whatever, certainly smarter than Jordan Feather.) I was thinking about something else I noticed but forgot. I think Sabine is what makes the magic work.

How could she make the midwest into a stereotype? This may be worthy criticism. Even I was like, well this family drama is... eh. For a while this year I was of the belief that all contemporary fiction is true. So far, two of Ann Patchett's leading ladies have been from LA and one went to Tennesee and one went to Nebraska (theheretofor mentioned mid-west) when Patchett is also from LA and moved to Tennesee. Maybe I'm right and she will send characters back to the south in Taft. I think in Bel Canto (her 2nd) they go to South America, so...

Was this written by a man, how are all the girls so domestic? Even Sabine, who's always wearing men's cloths, and always living with men. Hm… Very sus to come up with this on your own

What type of woman devotes her entire life to loving a man who is gay and will never love her back the way she wants? What type indeed. And how DID she want? Compared to Phan's fatherliness, Parsifal barely had any lines and wasn't in Nebraska in his afterlife so we don't get any of his and Sabine's real relationship and maybe THAT's a glaring error. Anyways, I make jokes about Phan being jealous and that's why he took Parsifal back, but, um, it is hard to help someone die, maybe it is true that him suddenly dying is better it's like if your dad hid your mail from you, trying not to let it disappoint you, when it's up to you what you make of it.

[4lexnilsen]

“i always miss you,”   alex confesses quietly,  as if raising his voice beyond a whisper could ruin the moment.   his heart feels so raw,  the old wounds opening up and bleeding once more,  every time he thinks about how they have less than a week.   there’s a reason why most people don’t know what moment will be their last.   sometimes ignorance is a blessing.   “whenever we have to say goodbye and go back home,  it feels like i’m losing a piece of myself.   the other half of my own heart.   and i count the days ‘til i get to see you again.”   and he’d felt guilty in the past,  looking forward to the hunger games,  just because it meant reuniting with her.   “it will sound crazy,  but i’m happy to be here with you,  baby.”   she’s so much more than just a silly little farm girl or a pretty songbird to him.   she’s his world. 

“oh,  does she now?   seems like she’s starting to like me.”   a sweet,  genuine smile blooms on alex’s lips.   he’s heard so many stories about mama kitty and knows just how important she is to abi —   and whoever’s important to abi is automatically also important to him.   it means a lot to know that the cat’s accepted him as part of the family,  even if they’ve never met.   maybe she can sense just how much he loves abilene and that’s why she’s warmed up to him.   “i’ll give you another one so you,  ladies,  don’t have to fight over them.”   he says it as casually as possible,  trying not to think about how he’ll leave more than two jackets for her to take home and turn into a memory box.   “i wish you could have brought her with you,  but i see why they don’t want her at the capitol.   she’d steal the show from all of us.”   probably by trying to claw president snow’s eyes out.   “this reminds me…   i’d been telling my little brother all about you,  and he’s kind of like mama kitty in a way.   right before he goes to bed,  he’s always asking what do you think abi’s doing right now?   and what flowers are abi’s favorite?   he keeps drawing pictures for you.   if he weren’t five,  i’d be worried he’s got a crush on my girl.”   he would have brought some of the charcoal drawings here,  but this year there were no goodbyes.   the tributes were whisked off the stage and into the train car.   and maybe it’s for the better,  alex thinks,  less sentimental and painful.

“sounds like we’ve got ourselves a deal.”   he’s still breathless from the kisses,  his lips tingling and heart pounding in the back of his throat,  but it doesn’t stop him from letting out a chuckle.   there’s something so incredibly attractive and intimate about sharing clothes with a loved one that agrees —   the nighties can wait for tomorrow.   she’ll look so cute in his shirt.   “a garter?   it’s not even my birthday and i’m being spoiled.   are we sure this isn’t our honeymoon?”   he muses,  smiling against her lips out of sheer happiness.   during the day,  they have to be who the people of capitol expect them to be,  but at night…   they get to be themselves.   and he’s extremely grateful for it.   “that’s a good plan.   give me two minutes and i’ll be there.”   he’s reluctant to let her go,  but does so anyway because he can only imagine how uncomfortable her costume is.   “love you.   and hey,  i was just joking about the water temperature.   make it as hot as you want.   i don’t mind.”   and before she can go,  it’s once again his turn to draw her close and steal one more chaste kiss from her lips.

everything in the capitol was to excess . when she had first been in the tribute center , she recalled thinking how b i g everything was and how little she felt . that feeling never went away , though after enough time she learned most of the gadgets that she had been too afraid too touch and break . . . the people of the capitol always loved when the little farm girl gushed about their technology .

❛ i missed you , too . ❜ abilene admitted with a smile , her hand squeezing alex's tightly as they left the elevator . a part of her expected some kind of alarm to go off and the floor to be flooded with peacekeepers to bring her back to the tenth floor . tributes weren't exactly supposed to be alone with one another , she thought , although perhaps they were looking the other way for now as long as no one got hurt ?

❛ mama kitty loves to sleep on that jacket you left with me last games . . . we fight over it . ❜ she giggled , although the statement was true . more than once she had to push the stubborn cat off to wrap it around her own shoulders , and more than once she had fallen asleep with it and found the cat curled up on the sleeve . abilene squeezed alex's hand . with another giggle , abilene thought back to how angry the cat had been when abilene had been called back to the capitol to entertain and took the jacket with her . ❛ she gets real mad when i bring it with me here , sometimes she won't even look at me when i get back home . ❜

hazel eyes curiously looked about the penthouse , though it looked much of the same as district ten's floor . then again , it was hard to tell the difference between all of the glitter and jewels . abilene spent most of her time in her quarters anyways , it was the only place she could lock the door . she only glanced around briefly before alex led her into his quarters and the door shut behind them .

before she could speak again , his hands were on her face and his lips were on hers . her heart skipped and abilene imagined it like a foal out to pasture for the first time wobbly and surprised until eventually it took off and her pulse was pounding in her ears . her lips moved in sync with his and all that she could smell and taste and touch was him . every cell was buzzing and her hands trailed up his arms until her arms could wrap around his shoulders .

alex pulled away too soon , and her lips were chasing his . her eyes opened and her gaze met his own . ❛ you do . ❜ she agreed and was unable to help herself before kissing him again . her arms brought their bodies flush against one another and a heat blossomed over her skin and in her belly . ❛ i'll save my nighties for tomorrow . ❜ another kiss and a grin on her lips . ❛ maybe even give you a nice garter . ❜

then , she was laughing . her cheeks were beginning to ache and her dimples were on full display before she stole one final , quick kiss and pulled away . ❛ i can't stand wearing this a moment longer . how about i'll go warm up the shower and once you find a nice shirt you can join me ? ❜

[nuclearnerves]

wait whats this about paper mario 👀

Check out this tag if you like! sometime last fall/winter I watched a playthru of Paper Mario Origami King and I really fell in love with the office supplies villains. idk what came over me but I got all these ideas on how they can get gijinka’d. i started caring so much that i even came up with a little story of “they were once a family of hard working siblings before the origami king made them into his lackeys which kind of tore the family apart”.

picture unrelated, it’s just my most recent doodle of alia. I should have a design for the other monsters i missed soon. I think I have two left...?

[e-munson666]

I kind of imagine billy as a very very dom guy (especially dark billy) with sadistic kinks, here's some head cannons of mine before I start the request lol.

VERY BIG SADIST LIKE WTF 💀💀 I imagine that he'd purposely pinch you at times just to see you flinch and hiss. He is also a bit of a masochist himself, enjoying paint mixed with pleasure (though he doesn't like it when you hurt him with no sexual intent)

He uses nicknames like 'bunny' and 'kitten' or sometimes even 'baby bunny'

Okay now that that's out of the way- here is the actual request- Dark billy x female reader smut (duh) where pretty much he dubcons his childhood friend after finding out she had moved to Hawkins.

As soon as they introduce themselves to eachother again he begins to act, odd? The reader doesn't think much of it though, letting him lead her to his house were he does smutty things lol

Some lines you could use

"Awe.. baby bunny, don't you enjoy it when I pinch you?"

"Kitten.. I know you like it"

Ik it's vauge but I like to give you room to add what you think would fit :) ily, have fun!

This is my first attempt at Billy.

He's out of my realm, but I love this reader so I'm gonna do my best! ❤

18+ dubcon, dark themes, mean!dom!Billy. Let's just say reader is named Kat in lou of y/n

🖤Lady Hellfire🖤

Last week, Billy Hargrove got the surprise of his life. His childhood friend, his first real crush, had moved to Hawkins. Billy knew it was fate, especially when he laid his eyes on you in the hall, seeing what a beautiful young woman you were growing into.

You were being ogled by a bunch of other guys already, something Billy took notice of, and immediately disapproved of. Especially when one of those guys was Steve fucking Harrington, there's no way he was going to lose out to the former king of Hawkins high.

Billy started following you around school, always showing up when Steve would start talking to you, putting an arm around you and leading you away. "Hey kitty Kat" he would say winking down at you as he walked you in the opposite direction.

"Bbbbiiillllyyyy" you would whine, hating that he brought back his old nickname for you. It made you blush now, it gave you a feeling you weren't used to having for your old friend.

"Awe kitten don't be shy" Billy teased, pinching your cheek and watching you wince. He got a weird kick out seeing you squirm, loving it when he would get a reaction from his pinches or slaps.

They were almost constant, any time you interacted with Billy he was pinching you until you cried, or he'd harshly slap your ass or thigh, chuckling as you whined before him.

*

The rumors started pretty quickly, that Billy Hargrove swooped in and snagged the new girl already, (he may have started that in the locker room) but you didn't know that, not until you chased Steve down after school, wanting to hangout.

"Steve" you called, seeing him stop and turn towards you, a weary smile on his face.

"Hey Kitty" Steve joked, also one to enjoy giving you silly nicknames.

"Steve, do you want to hangout for a bit?" You boldy ask, noticing the confused look that spread across his face.

"Won't Billy be upset?"

"What? Why does it matter what Billy thinks?" You raise your eyebrow at Steve as you spoke.

"Oh uh, he was telling some guys in the locker room that he had locked you down" Steve responded searching your face.

You let out an audible laugh, looking up at Steve, "that is so not whats happening, we've just known each other since we were kids, nothing is going on there I promise" you say, looping your arm into his, smiling up at him.

"Oh, well in that case Kitty, I would love to hangout. Let's go get some food yeah?" Steve asked, giddy with excitement. He placed a kiss to your forehead as he led you to his car.. He was so happy to hear that you were still on the market, because Steve had it bad for you.

*

Billy had watched your little interaction with Steve, and watched as that fucker Harrington kissed your head. Billy knew it was time to step it up a notch, time to put you in your place. Under him, submitting to him, crying for him.......and ONLY him.

Billy decided to wait at your house, your Father not hesitating to let Billy in, excited for the opportunity to catch up with the young man. He told your father he wanted to surprise you, so your dad led him to your bedroom, wishing him luck as he left the house to go to the pub.

*

You had a wonderful time with Steve, getting food from Benny's, sharing a milkshake, and holding hands. He dropped you off at your house, walking you to the front door before saying goodnight. He leaned in for a cheek kiss when you quickly turned your face to crash your lips onto his.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school Stevie, okay?" You coo, twirling a piece of his hair. "Of course Kitty, I'll wait for you by your locker before the first bell" he responds, kissing you once more before retreating to his car. You shut the front door behind you, giddy and smiling from your time with Steve.

You called out for your dad, figuring he was out when you didn't get a response. You made your way to your bedroom, not bothering to check your surroundings as you started to undress. You were down to your bra and skirt, when you felt a presence, felt eyes on you. You quickly glanced up into the large mirror on your closet door.

In the reflection you saw him, Billy, with an angry look on his face, perched on the corner of your bed.

"Hey kitty Kat" Billy chuckles as you spin around, loving the scared look on your face, "surprised to see me?"

He quickly stood from the bed and made his way over to you, still frozen in your place. He wrapped one arm around your waist and harshly pulled you into him, using his other hand to trace up and down the strap of your bra.

"I saw you leave school with Harrington Kitten" "tisk.....now we can't have that" he states, pinching your side so hard you squeal.

"Billy....what.....why are you here?" You manage to get out, trying to shove him away, only to be met with a harsh slap to the face.

You looked up at him with watery eyes, cheek burning and red from his heavy hand. "Oh whats the matter little kitty? You didn't like that?" He teases, snaking his hands to the backs of your thighs, squeezing them tight before lifting you up into his arms, laughing as you struggle to get away.

"Calm down Kitten, stop wiggling around so much, I said STOP" Billy tosses you down on the bed, grabbing your tiny wrists with one large hand and flinging them up over your head.

He kicked your legs apart with his knee, sliding into the space between your thighs. You looked up at him, tears welling in your eyes, a large red outline from where Billy slapped you.

"So pretty like this kitten" he says, taking his free hand and cupping your chin. He leaned down to place a harsh kiss to your lips, feeling you once again struggle under him.

"You can squirm all you want little kitty, I can feel how wet you are on my leg"

"Billy, please" you beg, not knowing for what, but you bucking your hips into Billy's leg gave him all the signal he needed.

He went to work un buttoning his pants, sliding them down along with his boxers, before taking the tiny fabric of your panties in his hand and ripping them clean off your body.

You squirmed more when you felt the weight of Billy's tip at your entrance, knowing this was going to hurt.

"Stay still kitten, or this will hurt a lot worse" he laughs, slamming himself inside of you. You let out a loud, pained cry, music to Billy's ears.

"Too big.....too much.....please no Billy" you whine, feeling your body being split in half. You had been with one other guy before, but it was disappointing and you could barely feel him in there. This was different, this was painful, throbbing, you were sure your insides were tearing around him.

Billy just chuckled at you, starting to thrust into your rough and deep. You moaned and whined under him, repeating it was too much as he continued to slam into you.

"Its too much? Hmm baby? Daddys cock too big for his little baby?" He whispered in your ear, grinning at the moans that left your mouth as he fucked you into the mattress.

"Thats right kitten, you like this don't you, like daddy's cock splitting your tiny little body in half?" You moan again, arching your back at his words.

Billy slapped your already red cheek, looking at your teary face. "Words kitten, I want to hear you SAY it" he demands, grabbing your throat as he kept up his pace.

"Yes Billy, I like it" you cry out, feeling your orgasm coming close.

Slap. "No no my little slut, that's not what you call me now" slap "say it" he slams into you, deeper than he has gone before.

You let out a pained cry, body starting to shake as your climax came to a peak, "fuck, yes, yes daddy, I love your cock" you whimper, clenching around him as he fucks your through your orgasm.

Sensitive, and sore, you whine as he continues his pace, trying to squirm away as he chased his own release.

"No, little slut, you aren't going anywhere until I'm done with you" Billy says, finally unpinning your wrists with his one hand and taking the other from your throat to grab your hips and keep you still.

By the time Billy filled you up you were a writhing, crying mess below him, crying his name out in both pain and pleasure, and he was eating it up. When he finally pulled out, he looked over at you as he dressed himself, knowing he did enough to abuse your body to the point of exhaustion.

He left the room long enough to grab a towel to clean you up with, placing little kisses all over you as he helped get some pj's on, before getting into bed with you and pulling you into his chest.

You hummed as Billy stroked your hair, eyes drooping, waiting for sleep. "I meant it you know" he said as you dosed off, "you're all mine now babygirl" he laughed as he watched you attempt to lift your head up at him, before sleep completely took over.

Now Billy just has to deal with that fucking Harrington kid, and he'll have you all to himself.

*

*

*

[firawren]

Muppets Pride and Prejudice

You've seen the tweet about Muppets P&P with Adam Driver. He is a horrible idea for Darcy (way too old, unattractive, and American), but Muppets P&P is the best idea. I have put a lot of thought into casting it. I'll start with my most unexpected (but excellent, IMO) choices.

Sweetums as Jane

It is much more funny for everyone to constantly talk about how lovely Jane is if she is not played by a cute, feminine, little Muppet. But she shouldn't be played by an evil Muppet either. This makes Sweetums perfect. Imagine Darcy telling Bingley "You have been dancing with the only beautiful woman here" and we cut over to giant, hairy Sweetums in a Regency gown. So good.

Animal as Mr. Collins

Mr. C is the most slavishly devoted P&P character (to Lady C); Animal is the most slavishly devoted Muppet (to drums). Plus, imagine Animal in vicar's garb full-on running at Darcy from across the room screaming "MR. COLLINS!" to introduce himself.

Gonzo as Lydia

He's kind of the group weirdo with no filter, so he can embarrass his family by shooting himself out of a cannon in the middle of the Netherfield ball, and similar wacky stunts.

Statler and Waldorf as the Bingley sisters

They're the best at talking shit about everyone else.

Sam Eagle as Lady Catherine

Severe, imposing, cranky, judgy. Tries to control everyone but fails.

Fozzie as Bingley

Cute, fun, silly, cheerful.

Rizzo or Pepe as Wickham

Either one would be good in the role. Rizzo would be good at being slick and insincere. Pepe would be good at being a ladies’ man.

Kermit and Piggy as Mr. and Mrs. Bennet

One is weak, one is melodramatic; plus Kermit doesn't seem to even like Piggy but is with her anyway.

Bunsen as Charlotte

Smart, self-assured, pretty calm even when things seem pretty shitty.

Beaker as Kitty

Perpetually stressed out, and no one really listens to her.

Rowlf as Mary

Plays the piano and is mostly pretty boring.

Scooter as Mr. Gardiner and ?? as Mrs. Gardiner

Scooter is hard-working, sensible, calm. No idea who should play Mrs. Gardiner, so just make a new Muppet for her, or use Skeeter, though she’s nothing like Mrs. G.

Camilla as Georgiana

Just simple, pretty, nice. Doesn't talk much.

And finally, young humans for Darcy and Elizabeth

No Muppets for the main couple. I don't know young English actors well enough to give you names, but the point is that they should be in their 20s and hot, especially Darcy.

[misscrawfords]

Thank you so much for the support in my Henry/Susan shipping! I always see her shipped with Tom (well, in the MP sequels I have occasionally come across and not read) which I think is boring because a) repetitive - like saying, "We want to rewrite MP but with cousins with different personalities" and b) Tom Bertram interested in women? Naaaaaaahhhh. I headcanon him as asexual, I've seen him written as gay. But heterosexual? Definitely not. The man had no interest in Mary Crawford: the man is not interested in women!

But I find Susan herself so interesting. I think I've said it before but MP is so unusual in Austen's novels in that it leaves so many characters unaccounted for and somehow unfinished. In Emma, Frank Churchill is perhaps a similar character type to Henry Crawford but he gets married off at the end. Wickham, Willoughby, William Walter Eliot are all also sorted - and too unpleasant to feel much interest. No-one cares about John Thorpe's love life lbr. But Henry is left unaccounted for. So is Mary. So is Tom. So is Maria in a way because a cottage with Mrs. Norris doesn't feel like a life-sentence. Mrs. Norris will die before Maria anyway and then what? And in Susan, Austen explicitly sets up a future in which Susan is placed in Fanny's position with the Bertrams as if to replay the circumstances of the novel. It's like she's inviting the question "What if we did it again but Sir Thomas was more self-aware and the child was actually a strong-minded teenager with an older sister who cared about her? What then, eh?" While Kitty and Mary are sisters left behind with potential futures, Margaret Dashwood will grow up into a potential heroine as will Catherine's numerous siblings, no younger sibling in all of Austen is placed in such an interesting position as Susan Price in terms of the actual narrative. Like, writing a P&P sequel focussed on Kitty Bennet could be very fun and there is speculation that she improves but there is little link between Kitty as a character and Elizabeth as a character or their respective narrative arcs as there is between Fanny and Susan and their situations.

The thing that also fascinates me about Susan is her potential for both deep goodness and intelligence and strength but also anger and frustration and wildness in a way that I don't see matched in any Austen heroine and makes me think more of later heroines. Susan has grown up at best neglected, at worst abused in a lower class household. She has learned to be self-reliant. We know her to be forthright, clever, possibly manipulative and desperate for self-improvement and guidance. She's brought to Mansfield Park at an age when she will see right through its veneer of respectability in a way shy 10 year old Fanny wasn't capable of and probably never fully will be able to. But at the same time, she's deeply indebted to them and the opportunities they give her. I just think that's a really fascinating set-up to work with.

In my story, I pick her up at 19, still at Mansfield and totally content ruling the roost under the guise of supporting Lady Bertram. I actually see Susan as being most similar to Mrs. Norris in terms of genetic inheritance and that is fun to play with as well. Julia Yates invites her to London and Fanny is encouraged to let her go because she suspects that Tom is in love with her and figures this might not be a great idea since Susan has seen so little of the world. (Susan and Tom are platonic besties who read silly novels in ridiculous voices together but Tom does want to marry her for continuation-of-lineage reasons so Fanny and Edmund aren't too wide of the mark.)

Susan knows that London is the Root of All Evil and She Must Despise It All (thanks, cousin Edmund!) but unfortunately it's also really fun and pretty much the first people she meets are Mrs. Grant and Miss Crawford living a fun old life in Westminster and they are also fun. Super awkward. Anyway, Susan is here for a Good Time and not a Marriage Time because lol she's the plain, impoverished daughter of alcoholic sea-captain with only a veneer of polish covering the Portsmouth grime so who'd want that? and she's trying so hard but maybe she isn't Fanny Bertram's good and pious little clone after all. Maybe she doesn't want to be. Maybe there is more to life than the Mansfield parsonage. Maybe she can dream bigger than being Lady Bertram's companion all her days, though that used to seem like a paradise. Maybe she doesn't have to clamp down on all her angry, resentful, passionate, wild impulses. Anyway, she's basically Elsa from Frozen. I see it now.

Yeah. So anyway.

Unfortunately, when I'm writing, it feels so stilted. I haven't found a good voice yet. Austen is inimitable and anyway, she wouldn't have written this story with the morals and development I want to give both Susan and Henry, but I haven't found the voice that sounds write for it so I read what I've written and cringe and then don't write more!

(I say she wouldn't have written the story I want to write but I also feel like one of the amazing things about Austen and what is so tantalising about Sanditon is that every single novel shows her going in a new direction and innovating. Persuasion takes her writing in a more Romantic vein and Sanditon shows signs of anticipating authors like Dickens and Eliot in its social satire and focus on the changes of the 19th century. Who can say whether had Austen lived another 20 or 30 years she would have experimented with difficult, angry, wild-hearted heroines like Susan and reformed rakes like Henry as the Brontes did? She took on Emma Woodhouse after all so there is a precedent!)

If you receive this, you make somebody happy! Go on anon and send this to 10 of your followers who make you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up. If you get one back, even better. 🩵💜🩷🖤🩶🤍 (Can't ask you anonymously but actually don't care! <3)

ahhh thank you!!! <3

Right back at you. I’ve been thinking of you lately and hoping that you’re well! Also your Susan Price/Henry Crawford idea is brilliant and you’re so right for it. I have also low-key shipped it for years.

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

Plots line and episode themes that would have improved Sons of Anarchy.

Against my better judgement, I'm re-watching Sons of Anarchy. I've come up with some things that I think would have been good to see; most of them are silly, childish, and unrealistic, but that show was in dire need of some lightness. These are in no particular order, and you are more than welcome to use these ideas for fanfiction (not that they're any good). I must stress that this is for fun, I know how ridiculous all of this sounds.

1. A "day in the life episode" where we follow everyone around for a day or two to see what life was really like.

2. A Halloween episode, trick or treat, decorating the clubhouse, and there's an urban legend that if you ride on Halloween night, you might see the grim reaper on the road. Everyone knows it, half the club is scared shitless, and the other half couldn't care less.

3. A Christmas episode, they have a gift exchange at church, Juice gets everyone a gift certificate to Clear Passages. Happy is secretly the best gift-giver, Gemma insists on spoiling her grandchildren, and Clay is a dick about it.

4. The kitty plotline, Happy, Tig or Kozik (they seem to be the animal lovers), find a neonatal (0-8 weeks) orphaned kitten and spend their day bottle feeding it; everyone takes turns looking after the kitten. They vote for their name, and they are allowed to up on to the church table (not without protest for Clay). One day the kitten falls asleep on the gavel, and no one has the heart to do anything

5. An episode that follows Able and Thomas. We get to see Jax be a father and actually do shit instead of leaving it to Tara and Gemma.

6. An episode that follows the Old Ladies.

7. A "there's a huge storm approaching" episode, where everyone bunkers down to prepare for the oncoming storm. There's at least one scene with thunder and lighting, Piney lets the kitten hide in his Kutt.

8. An episode where a bunch of pick-up artists got to the club thinking they could pick up women and are kicked out for being assholes.

9. A "save the bees" episode where Gemme guilts all the guys into helping out the community garden.

10. The prison plotline. Season 3 should have been a few episodes longer where we get to see the guys in prison and how the club is doing without them. We get more on Tara and Gemma, and there's an episode where Thomas is born.

11. Jax, Tara and the kids go to a shelter to adopt a cat (Charlie Hunnan is a cat person). Happy told Jax if he didn't go to a shelter, he would never forgive him.

12. We actually see the planning of the wedding in season 4. Gemma insists everything be a certain way.

13. An episode that shows the Croweaters (I hate that term) as people and not props.

14. A club party episode (similar to patch over) where we see everything from the planning to the cleanup.

15. A church episode, where most of the episode is set in the temple.

16. An episode where we get to see the guys doing their day jobs as mechanics, workplace inspectors come along, and Gemma death glares then into giving a good report.

17. A musical episode, lots of shows have done one, and the cast is full of excellent singers. Alternatively, someone buys a karaoke machine, and everyone tries it out.

18. In an ideal world, seasons 6-7 didn't happen, and there wasn't so much tragedy but saying that the last scene should have been Jax seeing Tara's spirit and them crossing into the afterlife together. I dislike her character, but Jax did love her, and I still refuse to watch the last half of season 7 because of the shit end, I just wanted a happy ending.

[lu-undy]

Happy birthday, Solitude But Two!

Here is a bonus Chapter!

"You guys will be alright, yeah?" 

"Of course, Micky, it's not the first time you leave the kitties with us." 

"But it's gonna be more than an evenin' this time. Also, before I forget, I put one of Lu's shirts in the bag, they need it to sleep, don't forget it or they'll harass you until you give it to them."

Perle was gladly following Caroline around while Soot lay on Mike's lap, purring as the old man gently massaged the black cat. 

"Bah, we raised you and we used to have cats as well as dogs."

"Your Mum's right." Mike answered from the sofa. "We'll be fine. You go and have fun with Lucien. Did you tell him by the way?" 

"Nah, not yet. I'm keepin' it a surprise for him. Speaking of, I really gotta go or we’ll be late. He’s waitin’ to have lunch with me before I take him." 

"You arranged everythin'?" Caroline asked.

"Yeah, almost. Right, you guys take care, alright?"

"We will, Micky, you go and have your fun with your Lu'." Caroline answered as Mundy opened the front door.

"Meow!" Perle came trotting to her father and Soot jumped out of Mike's lap to join her. 

"Oh, sure, baby, c'mere you guys…" Mundy squatted down and dealt headbutts and scratches left and right to both the felines. "You behave with Grandma and Grandpa, yeah?" 

"Meow." 

"Good babies." He left a kiss on their heads and pushed himself back to stand up. "See ya!"

"See you in a few weeks, Micky!" 

A few moments later, the Aussie was on his motorcycle, racing through the streets and in his own mind. He had been preparing this for a while now. 

It had been one year. 

One year since he had put a ring on Lucien's finger and vice versa. Well, it would be one year exactly in a few days and this was what it was all about, celebrating the first anniversary of Lucien and him being… well… husbands? 

Of course, their legal status remained single but in their hearts and their heads, they were very much taken and faithful to each other. Mundy never did attract a lot of attention from ladies and gents, but Lucien… 

Every time the couple was having dinner outside, or enjoying a party with the few friends they had made, one person would walk to Lucien and hit on him. The first time it happened, it was a woman but Mundy nonetheless felt the itch to show her the rings, Lucien's and his. As he came close to his lover, he heard Lucien chuckle at the poor woman's attempt to pull her into her bed. He remembered it with a smile now…

“Oh, here you are, Mundy.”

“Hey, Lu.”

The woman had raised her eyes to the Aussie. 

“This your friend?” She asked. 

“More than that…” Lucien put a hand on Mundy’s chest and leaned on him. “Please meet my everything, Mundy. Mundy, this is the charming Amanda.”

“Hey there.” Mundy had stuck to being cold but polite, a defensive hand went to grab his Lucien and pull him to himself, almost defensively. 

“What d’you mean, ‘your everything’?” She chuckled with a raised eyebrow, confused and slightly mocking. 

“I mean this.” Lucien answered and pulled Mudy’s neck down for the Aussie to be at his lips height. He pushed a loving kiss on his lips and released him. Mund opened his eyes again, his mind still on the kiss even though Lucien’s lips had parted from his. 

Amanda’s jaw hung low and wide. 

“He is my husband, look!” Lucien went on, uphased. “This is the ring. It has only been a few months, mind you, time flies, but we love each other as if we were half our ages… Oh? Amanda?”

The woman had spun on her heels and left, leaving Lucien to chuckle and turn back to Mundy. 

“So, mon loup, are you enjoying your evening?” 

[My wolf]

“Uh… Y-yeah… Wasn’t she hittin’ on you?” Mundy nodded in the direction of the woman. 

“She was, very much.” Lucien answered. “But for some reason she left now. I cannot think why… Women shall remain a mystery!”

“Maybe that’s cause you snogged me like there’s no tomorrow in front of her?” Mundy answered.

“Oh, that? Maybe.” Lucien answered and leaned against Mundy’s shoulder again. He stared at the woman refilling her glass with whatever strong alcohol she could find before he raised his light blue eyes to his lover. 

They exchanged a smile. 

“You’re a devil, you know that?” Mundy said. 

“Maybe, but I am having great fun.”

“Why did you do that to her? You could have just said that you were already with someone.”

“And miss this laughter we shared? For nothing in the world. This ring that she chose to ignore,” Lucien raised his hand to Mundy. “It means that I vowed to make you happy. You did laugh, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did. “

“Then I am upholding my vows. Très bien.”

[Very well] 

 “You’re mean, Lu’. Look at her now…”

“I am not mean. If anything, she was.”

“What?!” Mundys eyebrows jumped in surprise.

“I am wearing my engagement ring and she still chooses to approach me. She knew she was taking a risk and she liked the thrill of it. Well, let this be a lesson for her: not all the risks are worth taking, Madame Amanda.”

“Well, if you put it that way…” Mundy agreed. 

And Mundy reached his destination, which pulled him out of his daydream. He parked the motorcycle safely and entered his house. 

“Mon loup, c’est toi?”

[My wolf, is that you?]

“Oui, mon amour.”

[Yes, my love.]

Lucien rose from his armchair and met his love at the front door. 

"Your accent when you speak French is delicious…" He said before pushing himself to the tip of his toes and kissing Mundy. 

"I'm makin' progress, aren't I?" Mundy laced his arms around Lucien's waist.

"Oui, but please, never lose your accent." 

"If it goes like it does with you, I'll still have my accent in a hundred years."

"Are you saying I am old?" Lucien frowned in an exaggeratedly sad way. 

"I'm not the one spendin' my time sayin' 'You'll see when you get to my age', eh!"

"Pfff…" 

They chuckled together.

"You ready?" Mundy asked. 

"Where are you taking me for lunch?"

"Where d'you think?"

"Hm…" The couple exited the house and Mundy locked the door as Lucien thought out loud. "Maybe the new Lebanese place that opened in town? I am told it is exquisite and very reasonable in price." 

"Since when d'you care about the price of things?" Mundy smiled. "Oh, no, no, Lu', we're not goin' with the bike. I called a taxi." 

"Oh? This means that you intend to get drunk, so maybe the Irish pub? But isn't it early to get drunk?"

"Never too early to be with you, baby." Mundy raised his arm for the taxi to stop while Lucien's blush took a moment to fade. 

They both embarked in the taxi. 

"Where to, Sir?" The driver asked. 

"Where I told you on the phone, please." Mundy answered. 

"Alright." The driver let his foot press on the gas pedal and off they all went. 

"Tu me caches des secrets?"

[You are holding secrets from me?]

"Oui." Mundy answered. 

"Dis-moi où tu m'emmènes." Lucien asked.

[Tell me where you are taking me.]

Mundy shook his head and took a glance in the inside rear view mirror. The driver was busy. Good. The Aussie slid his hand to take his lover’s. 

“C’est une surprise, doll.” He answered with his accent. 

[It’s a surprise.]

“D’accord.” Lucien smiled and nodded.

[Very well.]

And the ride took them away from where the usual restaurants the couple frequented used to go. Lucien straightened his back and looked through the window. He started frowning when he saw the control tower of the airport, the same one he had landed in, a few years ago now. And it got him thinking. What if he could go back and see the Lucien that disembarked on the plane that day. Would the slightly younger Lucien believe him if he had told him what he would become? What would he even tell him? 

Tu rencontreras l’homme de ta vie et ta vie basculera. Tu ne demanderas plus comment ni pourquoi. Tu vivras l’instant, tout simplement, comme quand tu avais vingt ans. Tu vivras et aimeras, comme quand tu avais vingt ans. Tu seras heureux comme jamais tu ne l’as été. 

[You will meet the man of your life and your life will flip upside down. You will not wonder how or why anymore. You will live the instant, simply, as you did when you were twenty. You will live and you will love, as you did when you were twenty. You will be happy as you never were before.]

Would the younger Lucien believe him or would he laugh at him, scornful and disdainful, before he would realise that perhaps, the older him was senile, old, and out of his mind? 

Pff, in the end, Lucien did not even care. He smiled at that version of himself. The bitter, cynical and lonely old man. He was now even older, but so much happier…! 

"Lu'?" 

Mundy's voice broke the Frenchman's train of thought. 

"Oui?" 

"Je t'aime." 

[I love you.] 

Mundy said those words with such honesty in his eyes that Lucien's cheeks turned pink on their own. 

"Moi aussi."

[Me too.]

He smiled back at him and clenched his fingers a bit harder between Mundy's. 

"Alright, we're gettin' there, Sir. Which door should I drop you at?" The driver asked. 

"Departures, please." Mundy answered, his eyes sealed on Lucien's and the Frenchman's eyebrows jumped. 

"Departures?" He repeated.

"Yeah."

"Are we… travelling?"

"Yeah." 

"But Mundy, we haven't taken any luggage with us?" 

"Don't be silly." Mundy gently chuckled as the driver parked. 

Both men exited the car and Mundy winked at Lucien. 

"C'mon, Lu', keep up! We don't wanna miss the flight…!"

"W-wait!" Lucien caught up with his lover. 

The airport was as busy as an anthill. People coming, going, running, pushing carts, holding their hats on their heads as they ran. 

"Mundy, were you serious?" 

"Course I am! We're goin', c'mon!" Mundy glanced up at a screen and quickly spun on his heels to change direction. Lucien followed, sometimes even trotting after his lover. 

"But where are we going?" 

"Told you, and in French at that, it's a surprise." 

"You cannot keep the surprise going forever, I will soon know." Lucien answered. 

"Yeah, but meanwhile, I'm likin' this whole 'Lu' doesn't know what's happenin'' business." Mundy smirked and looked down at Lucien, which he knew the Frenchman had a weakness for. 

"I shall find out myself!"

"Alright, good luck, Sherlock." Mundy winked and Lucien smiled. 

They walked through halls and corridors. 

"Uh, uh, uh! Gimme what you took from my pocket back!" Mundy stopped walking and turned to Lucien

"How could you possibly know?!" Lucien stopped. "I made every effort for you not to feel it!"

"You stole somethin' from my back pocket." Mundy said and opened his palm flat. "Give it back…" 

"How did you know?" Lucien frowned. 

Mundy sighed with a smile. He took the step that separated him from his lover and bent slightly such that his lips were next to the Frenchman's ear.

"I felt you touched my butt, and I liked it."

"Ah…" Lucien lowered his head and raised the plane tickets that he had taken from Mundy's back pocket. 

"Thank you, now stop bein' a spook and follow me."

They went on following sign after sign and looking at all the screens they met. 

"Here, that's the search thingy. I hope you don't have your blade with you." Mundy said as they queued. 

"What do you take me for?"

Both men started undoing their belts. Mundy removed his glasses and his hat. When the Aussie finished, he walked through the metal detector and soon after, his lover followed him. 

BEEP! 

"Ah, oui, I must explain myself." Lucien calmly said and Mundy observed the scene. "This is my passport. If you run a check on me, you will understand." 

The security employee took the passport and disappeared for a while. He came back and his colleague stopped him. 

"Hey, don't let him go, he had a knife in his belongings!"

"No, we have to let him go." The man handed Lucien his passport back. "With the knife and all. Have a good day, Sir, and sorry for the inconvenience." 

"No problem, you are but doing your job, Monsieur." Lucien took his belongings back and left the area. "Mundy? Are you coming? I do not know which gate we should head to."

Mundy had been standing there, his belt half put on, half still dangling down. His jaw had dropped as he watched. 

"Uh, y-yeah."

"Mundy." Lucien stopped him. 

"Yeah?" 

"Maybe you should finish putting your belt first?" Lucien tilted his head on the side and Mundy looked down at his waist. 

"Ah, uh, yeah…" 

A few moments later, both of them were standing in front of a screen. 

"Well, this is the moment where you'll see where I'm takin' you, doll." 

"Oui, it is. So? Which gate shall we go to?" 

"Forty-five." 

Lucien's eyes scanned the screen. 

"Oh… Mundy, but… Why Paris?" 

"Because I love you, and I wanna see what it's like over there."

"I…"

"C'mon, let's go." 

When they sat on the metallic, back-breaking bench at the gate, they chose a corner where they could be alone and in peace.

"Mundy, why go to Paris, honestly?" Lucien looked up at his lover. 

"Told you. I wanna see what your life was like when you were there. I mean… I know you told me you're not from there. But still… Besides, you've been livin' with me in Oz for a while, you've seen me and my life, I wanna see yours."

"I have indeed seen the Bushman in his natural habitat." Both exchanged a chuckle. 

"Look, if you don't want it, we can go back home. I don't wanna force you, baby." Mundy cast his eye around and dropped his hat on his thigh. He then slid his hand and pulled Lucien's underneath it. The Frenchman felt Mundy's thumb brush against the back of his hand.

"So, what d'you say?" Mundy asked.

"I say we go and I will show you the city where I grew up." Lucien answered. 

"You sure?" 

"We are about to board, Mundy, it is rather late to turn and go back home, non?" 

"No, not at all. If you feel awkward or anythin', we can go back home. I wanted to make it a surprise for you but the point's not for you to feel weird about it." 

"Non, Mundy, you are right. I should show you." Lucien clenched his grip on Mundy's hand. 

"You sure? I mean, are you happy to do it?"

"Delighted."

And Mundy took a second to stare in his lover’s eyes. Was he lying just to please him? To not make him feel awkward? The Aussie slightly squinted. He looked through the crystal clear irises to see the soul beyond them. Were Lucien’s lips deceiving the Aussie? Bah, it wouldn’t be the first time but… When was the last time that Lucien had lied?

Hm. 

Oh! Yeah, Mundy remembered it, it was… 

At the lake, almost exactly one year before, the wig. Lucien had worn a wig because he thought his lover could only look at him with the eyes of love when he made himself more feminine. It was obviously wrong and Mundy had tossed the long-haired lie away. That was Lucie’s last one.

Mundy blinked and his eyebrow relaxed. Lucien was not lying. He was looking up at the Aussie with eyes that screamed his limitless love for him. 

“Alright then, doll. Glad you’re happy to show me around.”

“Of course.” Lucien answered. “I am surprised by this trip but welcome it warmly. I think we should probably have done that before but I suppose we did not stop to think about it.”

“Yeah, that’s true. Got any ideas on what we should see?”

“Apart from the classics like the Tour Eiffel, the Arc de triomphe, and other tourist attractions? Hm, I shall think about it.”

“Can I ask you to show me some stuff in particular?”

“But of course. What do you have in mind?”

“Where you lived, where you worked, places you liked to eat at, that kind of thing.” 

"I will."

They exchanged a conniving smile and the call to board the plane interrupted them. 

"Ready, baby?" 

"Oui." 

"Right, let's go and queue." 

A few minutes later, both found their seats in the plane and Mundy looked through the window. The sky was blue despite the relative cold of winter. Well, once in Paris, it will be summer… The plane took off and when the couple was higher in the sky than the clouds themselves, Lucien looked up at Mundy on his left. 

“I am surprised.”

“You’d better. Been hidin’ evidence of everything.”

“How did you do it?”

“Gave the tickets and everything to my Mum.” Mundy smiled. “I even tried to not think about it. I never know with you; could turn out that you can read my thoughts or somethin’.”

Lucien chuckled. 

“I could indeed.” He confirmed with a lingering smirk on his lips. “However, I choose not to.”

“Why?”

“The Lucien of the previous life used to read minds because he needed it.”

“And now it’s just a hobby?” Mundy chuckled. 

“Almost.” Lucien answered. “Non, I value my relationship too much with you to not give you the same privacy that you give me. It is a question of respect. However, it is cute to see you try to read me to see if I lie sometimes.”

“Ah, uh, well…” Mundy scratched the back of his head. “Sorry...  I don’t want you to think that I don’t trust you…”

“Not at all. It gives me the impression that you really want to know what is going on in my head, which I appreciate.”

“Really?”

“Oui, I like this side of you, the side that wants to read all my fears in my eyes before I am fully aware of them.”

Mundy blushed. 

“Yeah, well… Sorry, can’t help it.”

“It is a gift and a blessing, thank you for being so.”

“You’re welcome, baby. But uh, Lu’?”

“Oui?”

“Why did you say you were surprised?”

“Ah…” Lucien chuckled before he even gave the answer. “I did not take you for the business class ticket kind of a man.”

“I was gonna go for the economy thing, but then Mum said that in business we’d get a booth and we wouldn’t be bothered by people givin’ us looks. So I can do this…” Mundy reached for Lucien’s hand and took it. “And no one’ll look weird at us.”

“Cutely thoughtful of you, mon loup.”

“You can thank my Mum for that.”

Both chuckled and Lucien leaned his head on Mundy's shoulder. 

“I will, but in the meantime, thank you, mon amour.”

Minutes passed that turned into hours and the sky naturally darkened. After the dinner they were handed in, the couple closed their eyes. 

“Mornin’, luv’.”

“Bonjour, mon amour.”

[Good morning, my love.]

Both yawned, woken up by the bright morning sun above the clouds. 

“Slept well?”

“I think my neck will hate me for a few hours only. What about you?”

“My legs…”

“How long do we have left until we land?”

“Uh…” Mundy checked his watch. “A few hours…?”

“Mundy.”

“Some number of hours…?”

“Mon loup.”

“Alright, ok, we got three hours left.”

“That isn’t that bad, actually.” Lucien answered, surprised.

“Yup. Oh, Lu’, I just thought about something.”

“Oui?”

“Uhm… Y’know how I told you I wanted to visit your workplace?”

“Oui, I remember.”

“How’re you gonna do it? I mean you're supposed to be dead for the Ministry back there, aren’t you?”

“Indeed, I am. You will have to call me by my second name when we get there so as not to raise suspicions.”

“But you still look like yourself. People will recognise you, won’t they?”

“Non, they will not. I was once a spy: entering places I shouldn't be while being someone I am not was my occupation for decades and not a trade easily forgotten.” Lucien raised his eyes to Mundy. “Do not worry, I will show you the Ministry.” He smiled tenderly.

“Alright, I trust you. But if you think we can’t make it or somethin’, there’s no shame in sayin’ it.”

“Non, absolutely not, you are right. But this will be easy.”

A few hours and a nap later, the pilot announced the imminent landing. Mundy looked at the city below the plane. He could see a river flowing, zigzagging through the capital. 

“C’est la Seine.”

[It is the Seine.]

“Oh…”

“Ca, c’est l’île Saint-Louis… Et ça ? tu peux me dire ce que c’est ?”

[This is the Saint-Louis Island… And this? Can you tell me what it is?]

Lucien pointed and Mundy squinted to see better. 

“It’s… Oh! C’est la Tour Eiffel, non?”

[It’s the Eiffel Tower, isn’t it?]

Mundy answered in French and Lucien looked at him as he always did, yet each time, the Aussie couldn’t help but fall slightly deeper for his lover. 

“Oui, c’est la tour Eiffel.”

[Yes, it is the Eiffel Tower.]

Lucien confirmed. 

“It’s the real thing? It’s tiny…”

Lucien’s smile vanished. 

“I beg your pardon?”

“It’s tiny! I thought it was supposed to be very tall!”

“Well, you will climb it using the stairs and I swear to God your thighs will make you regret these words!” Lucien answered and Lundy burst into laughter. 

“I’m jokin’, you sensitive, patriotic old baby…”

“Hm, joking now, aren’t you…? I will still make you climb to the top of it on the stairs.”

“How many steps is it to the top, d’you know?”

“One thousand six hundred and sixty-five. It takes between half an hour and forty-five minutes to climb it to the second floor which is not even the top.”

“You're pulling that out of your arse, aren’t you?”

“You shall see….!” Lucien leaned back on his seat with a smug smile on his lips. 

“Hm… Hold on, we aren’t gettin’ closer to the ground, the Eiffel Tower’s still tiny…”

“It is because it is forbidden to fly over Paris.”

“Are you serious?”

“Oui, I am, it has been so since the Second World War, if I remember correctly.”

“Woah… You guys know no Germans are gonna come and bully you again, don’t you?”

“We know. But we would rather keep our sky blue and free of planes.” Lucien answered. 

“Fair enough. Makes it more calm I guess."

When the plane landed and both made it through, Mundy held Lucien back in front of the airport's closed doors. 

"Hold on, before we step into actual Paris…"

"Oui?"

"I love you, Lu'." 

Lucien smiled. 

"I love you too."

"Alright, now, we can go." 

They took a step more and the doors slid open. The first rays on the Parisian summer sun hit their skin warmly and the lightest of breezes grazed their cheeks before rolling up to the sky. 

“Here we are then, eh? Paris.” Mundy said looking around him.

“We are outside of the city itself but I guess you booked a hotel inside?” Lucien asked.

“Actually, I didn’t.”

“Oh?” Lucien raised surprised eyebrows. 

“I was kind of counting on you to know where to go…?” Mundy admitted with a half ashamed smile.

“Oh, of course. I have recommendations.”

“You choose then, Lu’. I looked up the hotels and stuff but there were too many of them and I didn’t know which one to pick.”

“It is fine, let us call a taxi, I know where we should go.” Lucien smiled.

“Thanks, Lu’.”

“My pleasure.”

After half an hour inside a taxi, both stepped out in front of a hotel and Lucien waited for the car to disappear behind him. 

“Welcome to the Ritz.” Lucien said and Mundy looked up to take the large three-floor building in. The architecture was nothing like he had seen so far. At the end of a flight of stairs hidden by a red carpet, the doors stood wide and tall between spiral-trimmed slim plants and equally fancy dressed porters. A French flag was flying above the double door that put a slight proud smile on Lucien’s lips. The walls were all made out of light beige stone and on each floor, rectangular windows were neatly and equally spaced. On the first floor were slim balconies adorned with a golden plated logo of the hotel. As Mundy’s eyes followed the column of clean stones, jumping from one window to the one above, he noticed that high up, the roof was covered in dark slate with windows surrounded by smoothly moulded, light beige stone.

“Gosh…”

“Come on, we both need a shower at least.” Lucien smiled at how absorbed Mundy was by the looks of the building. 

The couple decided to take a few days of rest and let the jet-lag fade away slowly. They had their clothes bought and delivered to them at the hotel and enjoyed their meals either in their suite or in the restaurant downstairs. 

“What did you say the room we’re in was called?”

Lucien chuckled. 

“It is not a room, but a suite, mon amour, and it is called the Coco Chanel suite.”

“Funny name…”

“It is the name of a prestigious designer. She designed the room herself.”

“She was French?”

“Oui, she was.”

“Ah, guess it makes sense… How much is it per night?”

“A price that pales next to that of your company.” Lucien poetically answered. 

“Thanks, Lu, but I meant in Francs?”

“About a hundred…”

“Oh that’s quite cheap for a suite.”

“... Thousand Francs per night.”

“WHAT?!” Mundy almost spat his coffee out.

Lucien burst out laughing, catching his breath in the short little snorts that Mundy fell in love with. 

The next couple of days were spent visiting all the tourist-heavy places: the Eiffel Tower, the cathedral of Notre-Dame, the Palace of Versailles… Mundy saw more paintings and sculptures in those few days than he did in his entire life.

“Stop.” 

Lucien’s voice was firm, too firm and cold to be addressing Mundy. The Aussie turned and saw Lucien with his hand on a young man's wrist. 

“Hold on, that’s my wallet in your hand…!” Mundy snatched it back from the stranger's hand. 

“La prochaine fois que tu pick-pocket quelqu’un, choisis mieux ta cible et ne regarde pas autant que ça à droite et à gauche, on te voit venir à des kilomètres.”

[Next time you pickpocket someone, choose your target more carefully and don’t look so much left and right, you are telegraphing all your moves.] 

The young man opened wide eyes and as soon as Lucien released his wrist, he darted off. 

“Attends.”

He stopped and turned to Lucien, a few metres away from him. 

“Tiens. Et tu n’es pas mauvais, tu devrais en faire quelque chose.”

[Here. And you are not bad, you should do something out of it.]

Lucien handed him a note. The young man took it and left. 

“You gave him money?” Mundy asked. 

“Oui.” Lucien resumed his walk and Mundy followed him. 

“Why?”

“Because stealing is rarely a hobby. If one does it, it is out of necessity. Throwing  this young man in a cell will not help him at all. On the other hand, helping him such should.”

Mundy fell silent for a moment. 

“Besides,” Lucien started speaking again. “I was once this young man, only I never got caught.”

The next day, the couple woke up normally. Good, the jet-lag had finally passed. 

“Mundy?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to visit the ministry today?”

The half woken up Australian opened wide eyes in a flash. 

“Sure. Uhm, how are we gonna do this?”

“I have an idea. But I need to call Maurice first. You go and take a shower, I will telephone him and will let you know.”

“Alright.”

A couple of hours later, both men stood in front of an elegant building in the heart of the fifth district of Paris, or as Mundy liked to call it ‘the fancy one”. 

“Shall we?” Lucien asked. 

“I’d follow you but ho ‘re we gonna go through these soldiers?”

Two military looking people were guarding the entry and checking everyones credentials. 

“As easy as just follow me.” Lucien answered with a smile before he took the flight of stairs up and met with the soldiers. 

“Bonjour, Messieurs. Nous venons de la part de Maurice de Ronzières, en Australie.”

[Good morning gentlemen. We come on behalf of Maurice de Ronzières, in Australia.]

“Je dois vérifier.”

[I must check.]

“Faites donc.”

[Pray do.]

Both men waited at the door and when the guard came back to them, he let them in. 

“Gosh, Lu’ - I mean, Louis… We’re in…”

“Oui, welcome to a place that they redecorated and I barely recognise…” Lucien shook his head disappointedly as he held his hips.

“That means we can’t visit it cause you don’t know where stuff is anymore?”

“Non, non.”

“Then why d’you look uh… not happy with it?”

“Because they redecorated and made it is ugly!” Lucien raised his arms in the air before letting them drop again. “Had I been still alive, I would have given the Minister of Defense a piece of my mind…!”

“Hold on…!” Mundy caught up with his lover and walked through the corridors. 

They abruptly stopped walking in front of a small door hidden under the stairs, on which Lucien gave a few knocks. 

“Qui est-ce?”  A muffled, old man’s voice asked.

[Who is it?]

“C’est moi.” Lucien answered and the door opened.

[It’s me.]

“Grand Dieu, Maurice a dit vrai…!”

[Good Lord, Maurice spoke the truth…!]

A short, skinny, old man emerged from what Mundy understood was the broom closet. He had lost most of his hair on his head and wore round, thick glasses.

“Comment allez vous, Georges?” Lucien opened his arms and the old man took a step forward and hugged him.

[How are you, Georges?]

"Ça doit faire une éternité! Les cheveux gris vous changent, Louis, mais je vous reconnais bien.”

[It must have been an eternity since last time. Grey hair makes you look so different, Louis, but I still recognise you.]

“Parlez-vous un peu d’anglais?”

[Do you happen to speak a bit of English?]

“Oh, j’ai les rudiments, �� force d’entendre tout ce qui se passe…!”

[Oh, I learnt the basics on the fly here, as I’m forced to hear bits here and there…!]

“Then,” Lucien naturally switched to English. “Please meet my husband, Mundy.”

Mundy blushed beyond his ears. It was so uncommon for Lucien to introduce him as his husband straight away. 

“And Mundy, please meet Georges, the ultimate spy.”

“Nice to meet you.” Mundy extended his hand and the old man shook it with a smile. 

“Does he understand French?” Georges asked, his accent so thick that next to him, Lucien sounded like a native…!

“Bits, oui, I have been teaching him.” Lucien answered. 

“Then, mes félicitations, mon garçon!”

[Congratulations, my boy!]

“Oh, uh, thanks… But how are you the ultimate spy?” Mundy asked. 

“We can chat as we walk, boys, come on, follow me!” The old man pulled a trolley of rags, dusters and all kinds of cleaning products out of the closet before he started pushing it. Lucien and Mundy followed him. 

“Georges here is responsible for the cleanliness of everything you see. He also happens to have the keys to every room in this building apart from a very select few of them. And all of that makes Georges the best guide to this place." Lucien explained as the trio walked through the corridor. 

The old man pushed his trolley through the corridors, making sure to take all the stair cases that nobody usually takes. 

"And I forgot to say," Lucien added through Georges' explanation of the rooms and corridors. "This man here is invisible to everyone meaning that if we stick to him, we become invisible too." 

"And so you don't break your cover… Ah, I get it…" Mundy nodded to himself. 

"Georges, could you take us to the portrait room, please?" 

"Yes, I can. They didn't move it cause they say history can't be changed." The old man answered, the keys jiggling from his belt loop.

"Ah, perfect." 

Georges took a second to unlock the door and push it open. 

"You have ten minutes, fifteen tops, before my colleague comes here to dust everything off. I'll try and buy you some time but he's young and finds I talk too much so he usually just leaves me alone to do his job. Counting on you, boys, be careful with the time!"

"We will be. Merci infiniment, Georges." 

[Thank you infinitely, Georges.]

"Avec plaisir." 

[My pleasure.]

Both men entered and Lucien shut the large, wooden double doors after them.

“Wow, what’s this place? Who’re these people?” Mundy said as he found himself in a room surrounded by painted or printed portraits. The oldest were black and white engravings while the most recent ones were coloured.

“This is the portrait room. It contains the photograph, painting or engraving of every man who made a decisive contribution to the establishment or security of this country.” Lucien explained. “Please, do have a look.”

Mundy started walking in what felt more like an art gallery than a room. He admired the faces, sometimes commenting on the military attire or the old style moustaches and beards. Lucien tried his best to recall the bits of history he knew about those important figures of the country, mentioning a few anecdotes when his memory allowed him to. 

“Golden frames for everyone, eh? That’s fancy as all hell…” Mundy said. 

“Indeed it is.” Lucien answered. “I am told that nowadays, when young spies finish their training, they are brought here and come out of this room with the hope that one day, their face will be on thiese walls.”

“Yeah, I can get the enthusiasm.” Mundy said. “Oh, Lu’... Hold on… Is that…?” Munddy squinted in front of a photograph and took a step forward. His eyes zigzagged on that of the man with light eyes and coal black hair. “Bloody hell, isn’t that you?!”

Lucien chuckled. 

“Guilty as charged.” The Frenchman said. 

“How old were you on this? You look half the age of the others!”

“I started my career early and abruptly. Some would say I even started without knowing it myself. But to answer your question, I was in my early twenties in this picture.”

“Bloody hell… You look like an angel back then already.”

Lucien smiled. 

“Merci.”

“What did you do to get your face up there?”

“I helped in the Résistance to free France from the Germans. I started as a courier boy, delivering messages until I grew up and understood that my, ahem, ease to approach women could be an asset for the country. Countless Nazi were caught through their wives and their mysterious lover.”

“You…?”

“Mh-hm, me. I broke a lot of German hearts back then, even before France’s liberation.” Lucien chuckled.

“Wow… Id love to take a picture of it.”

“We could take it back, if you want.”

“What?! You wanna steal it?!”

“It is my face and I am dead. I can claim it back.” Lucien shrugged.

“Hm.” Mundy fell deep in thought. “You know what?”

“Mh?”

“Leave it there.”

“You have changed your mind?”

“Yeah, leave it there for folks to look up at you and remember you. You changed my life, yeah, but you also changed an entire country before that. Let them have a souvenir.”

Lucien smiled. 

“Very well, mon loup.”

The next day, the couple woke up with the first rays of light, wrapped in the satin sheet of the Coco Chanel suite at the Ritz.

“Lu’?”

“Oui?”

“Uhm, there’s somewhere I wanna take you today.”

“Oh?” Lucien’s surprise was obvious. Mundy wanted to take him somewhere? Where? Why? And above all, how? The Aussie had spent the past week or so following his lover blindly and complaining that he did not know how Lucien could know where he was going. “Sure, when do you want to go?”

“This evenin’, if that’s fine with you too. We can go have dinner somewhere and then we’ll go?”

“Perfect for me, Mundy.”

And for the entire day, Lucien kept on thinking about it. Where would Mundy take him…? Until of course it was time to go. He followed his tall lover through the streets. The Aussie stopped only a few times to check his map and make sure they were heading in the right direction. 

“Alright, should be after this street.”

They stopped when they reached beautiful dark blue, wrought-iron gates. 

“A park? You wanted to take me to a park?”

“I uh… I don't think it’s any odd park.” Mundy answered and Lucien frowned. They both entered and wandered inside, following the yellow narrow roads. 

“Why did you want to bring me here, Mundy?”

“I think you guessed why.” Mundy answered. “You know we’re not in any park.”

“Indeed, I do, so why here?”

“Because it’s part of you and it’s important.” Mundy answered before he stopped walking. “Now, you gotta guide me.”

Lucien took a deep breath and let it all out in a long sigh. 

“Très bien.” He started walking and it took a few minutes of silence before they reached their destination, under a tree. 

“Is it here?” Mundy asked. 

“Oui, it should be.”

“Gimme your blade.”

Lucien took it from his inner pocket and passed it to Mundy who went down to sit on his knees and started digging. The Frenchman waited, his arms wrapped around himself. He felt slightly cold even though the day had been scorching hot and he evening was still warm. 

“Here we go...!” Mundy unearthed a small tin box. “Let’s go back to the hotel.” He stood up and dusted his knees off before both him and Lucien headed back. 

When they were in their suite and alone, Mundy headed for the bathroom. He cleaned the box of all the soil on it and brought it back to the living-room on a towel. Lucien had been sitting on the sofa, his stare blank. 

“You alright?”

“Oui,” He shook his head as if to land back into reality. “I was just lost in thought.”

“C’mon, ask me.” Mundy said and Lucien sighed. 

“Why did you do this?”

“Because you told me that everythin’ that was you before was in a box, that you had buried it in a park in Paris as the rain was pouring down in the middle of the night. You told me that it has all sorts of things like pictures of you, maybe even of your family and everythin’.” 

Mundy took a deep breath and took Lucien’s hand in his. 

“It’s been one year of you and me bein’ a solid thing and it’s been even longer of us just spendin’ all our time together, and even longer of me lovin’ you to bits.” Lucien blushed at the last part and smiled shyly. “And today, it’s been exactly one year of us being a thing. I put a ring on your finger and you put one on mine one year ago exactly. I just… I don’t wanna make you feel bad at all, I love you, I just wanna see your life from before and beyond that, I want you to be at peace with what you were before.”

“Hm.”

“I don’t care what you were, I just want you to accept whatever's in that box as a part of you. It doesn’t need to be buried down in the ground, it shouldn’t be there. It should be with us, with our pictures and memories.”

Lucien had sat silently through his lover’s speech. 

“You understand, baby doll?”

Lucien raised his eyes to his lover. 

“You are right, Mundy.” He took the box and put it on his lap before gently opening it. “This is the only photo album I have ever bought in my life, before we got ours. The oldest pictures are of my parents, then me as a baby and a young boy. The next picture is when I was officially made a spy, after the end of the Second World War, during which I served in the Résistance.”

He flipped the pages and pointed for Mundy to follow.

“Wow, you were already gorgeous back then.”

“Thank you.” 

The Aussie wrapped an arm around his lover to pull him close and Lucien leaned on him.

“Mundy?”

“Yeah?”

“How did you know which hpark it was?” Lucien asked. “I don’t think I mentioned the name of it.”

“I asked Maurice for the park where we could spend some quality time that would mean something for you.”

“Ah, I see.” Lucien turned the page. “This is the few pictures of Marie and Jérémy that I have.”

“She was real pretty.”

“Oui, she was.” Lucien smiled at the pictures. 

“And Jeremy kind of looked like you a bit, I mean, his hair’s lighter than yours but…”

“He was born blond like the sun.” Lucien said. “His hair darkened as he grew up and was dirty blond before he passed.”

“Oh, I see.”

“This is us, all together.”

“Look at you bein’ a dad… You look so comfy handlin’ the baby. I’m always scared when I’m handed a kid. Always scared to drop them or hurt them or somethin.”

Lucien smiled with nostalgia.

“You should not. They are indeed very fragile but you are very strong.” He turned his head and pushed his lips on Mundy’s. 

“Thanks, luv’.”

“Thank you.” Lucien put the photo album aside. 

“There’s more stuff in the box?”

“Oui. Here, this was my first ever blade.”

“Oh, you kept it?”

“Oui, as a souvenir. When I was in the Résistance, I never thought that doing what I was doing would turn me into a spy, get me a job and a life that is reasonably put together. I just did it because I could and I was told I had a gift for it.”

“And you went on to become the best spook ever.” Mundy said, recalling the portrait at the Ministry.

“Something like that.” Lucien smiled. “Here, this is all black and old, but it used to be silver and shining bright.” He handed a thin, yet very old string of metal to Mundy. 

“It’s a bracelet?”

“It bears my name on it. It is a common gift that young children are offered here. I kept mine because it reminded me of my mother, whom I loved beyond everything else. Oh and this is a very old and worn out thing now, but I used to wear it to cover my mouth and nose, for people to not recognise me when I worked to liberate France.”

“It’s a black bandana?”

“It used to be Burgundy red.”

“We could give a polish to your bracelet and a good wash to your bandana. I’m not good with clothes but I’m sure there’s ways to bring it back to life.”

“I think so, oui. Ah, there it is… Although it is broken, this used to be the bracelet that I offered to Marie, when we first started to meet each other regularly.”

“It’s a pearl bracelet?”

“Oui, I have always liked pearls on women, I think it might be because my mother used to have a pearl necklace that she treasured more than anything else. It was a gift from my father. I remember as a child, I one day found it as I was prying into whatever I could lay my hands on in the house and she told me off for touching it.”

“Oh, wow…”

“Wow indeed.” 

Mundy took a second to look at the way Lucien was looking at his belongings from another life. His eyes were almost dreamy and his gaze, very soft, filled with nostalgia and bittersweetness. And soon, the smile widened and it was not an awkward listing of antics but objects that threw the Frenchman’s mind back when pictures were only black and white, when uniforms were compulsory at school, when with a Franc, you could buy a mountain…

“Oh, I am enjoying this actually, Mundy.” Lucien raised his eyes to his lover. “Thank you so much, mon chéri.”

[My darling.]

“You're welcome. See? It’s better to acknowledge everythin’ and even if it's bad things or mistakes that you can only blame yourself for, so be it. The only way to repent I guess, is to not make those mistakes again.”

“You speak truth and wisdom. May God keep you by my side for as long as we want.”

“Amen, baby.”

“Thank you for… Well… Half-forcing me to do this. I realise that I should have done it long ago.”

“How d’you feel?” Mundy asked. 

“Better, lighter in a way.” Lucien wiped a silent tear. 

“Hey, you sure you good?”

“Oui, it is not tears of sadness. It is… The intensity of all this. Finding myself in the Ritz again, but this time, not on duty, not for business, just for our enjoyment, the breakfasts, lunches and dinners here now taste so much more flavourful, I never realised that their food was exquisite. I knew it but I never felt it as much as I have in these past few days. And the outings with you, seeing the sights, guiding you through Paris, telling you her story. It is better than a dream come true.”

Mundy smiled compassionately.

“Lu’?”

“Oui.”

“Happy first anniversary.”

“Oh…” The Frenchman dived head first into his lover’s chest and let the tears run down his face. 

“It’s ok, Lu’, I’m here.”

“This is why you wanted to take me to Paris?” Lucien pulled himself out of his lover's embrace.

“Yeah, for our anniversary.”

“Je t’aime, Mundy.”

[I love you, Mundy.]

Lucien took his handkerchief out and wiped his face. 

“Je t’aime aussi, mon Lucien.”

[I love you too, my Lucien.]

[aalissy]

Cosplay

Day 22 is doneeee!! And it’s finally a full identity reveal haha. I hope you guys liked this lil chapter <3. Now I need to find another way to stay up for the episode later tonight haha. Feel free to rant with me about it if you’re also up :)

AO3

“Hello there, my purrince.” Marinette purred as soon as he poked his head down her trapdoor. Chat’s mouth fell wide open once he saw her and he tumbled ungracefully down onto her bed. Her cute giggle filled his ears and he immediately sat straight up, unable to keep his eyes from roving up and down her outfit.

She was in a costume that looked almost exactly like his. The only main difference was that her accents were blue, matching with the deep, sapphire blue of her eyes. Her hair was also different, wrapped up in a braid instead of her usual pigtails. His heart thumped loudly in his chest as he attempted to give her a weak smile, feeling slightly woozy. 

A smirk lit up Marinette’s face as she gazed up at him with a look of pure mischief. “Are you checking meowt, kitty?”

Instantly, Chat cleared his throat, his cheeks tinged a light pink. Trying to shake off his embarrassment, he slid his own Cheshire cat smile onto his face, making his way down her ladder to stand next to her. He then bowed, swiping her hand up in his as he brushed a gentle kiss on it. “I was indeed my purrincess. You look pawsitively furtastic tonight.”

Marinette giggled even as a blush spread across her face. She snatched her hand back quickly, though, pushing his nose away as a brush of familiarity swept through him. Where had he experienced that before? Blinking as he tried to recall an old memory, he almost missed her speech.

“Thank you, my purrince. I made it for a convention I’m going to later. I’m glad you like it.” She beamed at him, causing his heart to flutter in his chest.

Chat shook his head once quickly, trying to brush away the odd feeling. Focusing on her words, he gave her a proud smile. “You made that yourself? Marinette, it’s pawsitively amazing. And, I must say, you play the part purrfectly. Where were you hiding all these puns?” He shot her a quick wink. 

“What can I say... I learned from the best,” Marinette said, leaning in to flick his bell as her smirk widened. 

He gulped quietly, his eyes glancing down to stare at her lips once unthinkingly. It would be so easy to just... No, what was he thinking!? Marinette was one of his best friends. He couldn’t be thinking about her like that. It must be because of the costume. She was acting a little too much like Ladynoire. Hang on...

A small frown furrowed between his brows as he stared down at her. After a few moments of silence, her smirk froze on her face and she tilted her head at him in confusion. “Kitty, is something wrong? You look worried.”

Chat’s frown deepened as that brush of familiarity hit him once again. It felt like he was on the verge of making a giant discovery but he just couldn’t connect the final dots. After a few more moments of awkward silence, he shook his head once forcefully. Giving her a small smile, he said, “Sorry, purrincess... I got lost in thought for a bit there.”

Marinette threw her head back in a laugh before she nudged his shoulder lightly. “Got a little distracted by my costume then, huh, my purrince?”

She really needed to stop calling him that. Especially with how familiar the nickname seemed to be coming from her lips. Trying to calm his once again racing heartbeat, Chat answered, “Purrhaps I did. It does look rather amazing on you after all.”

She flushed again before giving him a proud smile, flicking her hair as she preened in front of him. “I must admit I like being Chat Noir. I wonder if I’d be able to cataclysm as well as you too.”

Once again he frowned, watching the braid swing behind her lightly. It was all so familiar. The words. The puns. The hair. The outfit. Could it really be true...?

Shifting lightly, Chat eventually murmured, “I think you’d be pawsitively brilliant at everything, M’Ladynoire.”

He stiffened once briefly as he searched her eyes for some sign of familiarity. If she didn’t respond, he’d just laugh it off and race home an embarrassed mess. But... if it was true, he’d have a hard time ever letting her go again.

Marinette simply giggled, tapping his nose playfully as she said, “How sweet of you, Bugaboy.”

They both seemed to recognize what exactly she just said at the same time, their eyes practically popping out of their sockets. Immediately, Marinette tried to backtrack, waving her hands in the air as she rushed out, “I-I mean, my purrince. Bugaboy doesn’t make any sense because, well, you’re a cat... not a bug.” She chuckled nervously, tapping her index fingers together as her gaze refused to land on him. 

Meanwhile, Chat was over the moon. He was right all along. Marinette and his lady were one and the same. There was just one problem... how on earth was he meant to woo her now? If Ladybug was out of his league, then Marinette was even more so. But now wasn’t the time to think about that. His lady was waiting for him to say something.

Unable to stop the wide smile from stretching across his face, Chat said, “Can’t I be your purrince and your Bugaboy at the same time. After all, they are both me, right m’lady?”

Marinette clenched her eyes shut once before burying her head in her hands. “This cosplay was silly anyway. I never should have dressed up as you. You know we’re not supposed to know who the other is.”

“Hey, hey,” he immediately reached out, pulling her hands away from her face as he squeezed them gently. “This isn’t your fault, all right? We were bound to figure it out at some point. Besides, now that you’re the guardian you should have someone you trust to watch your back.”

Her gaze softened before she slowly nodded her head. “Thanks, mon Chaton.”

Chat’s heart tripped in his chest as butterflies roared to life in his stomach. Giving her a small smile, he then nodded down at his ring. “Would you like to know...?”

Marinette’s mouth fell open as she recognized what he was asking. Then she snapped it closed, gnawing on her lower lip as she gazed up at him. “I-I really shouldn’t...”

“You can trust me,” he squeezed her hands again. “Purromise. I’ll make certain that nothing bad happens, Marinette.”

After a few moments where he eagerly awaited her response, she eventually nodded her head. “Alright, kitty, I trust you. And, it’s only fair if we both know who the other is.”

Sucking in a deep breath of courage, Chat called off his transformation, “Plagg, claws in.”

In a flash of green light, he stood before her as Adrien, their fingers still entwined together. Giving her a shy, crooked smile, he asked, “Is this okay?”

Marinette gasped, yanking one of her hands from his grasp to slap it onto her agape mouth. He was stunned into silence and, after what seemed like hours, she eventually pointed a shaky finger at him. “Y-you can’t be...”

Wincing slightly at her reaction, he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I-I’m sorry, Mar-”

Before he could finish his next words, she had already wrapped him up in a tight hug. She squeezed him to her almost desperately and Adrien instantly found himself holding onto her just as tightly. 

He then just barely managed to catch her murmur into his shoulder, “So much... so much makes sense now.”

“Yeah?” he chuckled, looking down at the top of her head fondly. “I feel the same.”

Marinette pulled back to send him a bright beam as she spoke happily, “I love you too, kitty. I’m sorry it took me so long but I was so distracted by-”

This time, he cut her off. Except he did it by crashing their lips together. Shivers racing down his spine at her confession of love. Could he really be this lucky? Marinette squeaked once lightly before sinking into his embrace, running her fingers through his hair as Adrien deepened their kiss. He really was lucky. He had managed to find his lady and somehow woo her all at the same time. Everything was just perfect.