#he really is just some Average Guys huh?
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Currently watching Superman 1978 and here are my reactions:
Wow, the Superman theme? Amazing, inspiring, sensational!
Why is Jor-El so old? This is the father of a baby???
Lmao get phantom zoned fuckers, Man of Steel could never with these graphics
Omg the reflective suits lol, it's like they're biking at night
Also love how the curl is apparently genetic and not a style choice on Kal's part
Omg his wife is so young compared to him??!?
1970s graphics are to die for/pos I love them so much
Again, man of steel could never
This is what happens when climate change goes too far smh 😔
Lmao get rekt krypton
Ooh 70s generic man scream! I love that one!
Wait, kryptonians know about Einstein?!
And the Chinese?
I love that that baby is just spinning
Omg Ma and Pa!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Martha's middle name is Clark??
Awww teen Clark ❤️
Oh he has such a silly goofy run
He had a stroke?!?! He's dead?!?!? He gave the worst pep talk ever and then died. Rip to you king
I also love the 1940s setting so far
Clark is such a plain guy he eats regular Cheerios (derogatory)
Love the iconic red flannel
Don't worry Martha, he's gonna visit as often as he can
Wait since this is the 40s, do we think my mans gets drafted?? Or like, since he technically doesn't exist in the USA he gets a pass?
If Jor-El has been dead for thousands of years how did he know about Einstein or the Chinese?
Wait, so 12 years have passed in this weird montage that isn't a montage?? He's 30 now?? He didn't visit his mom for 12 years? She could be dead!
Ok so he just skipped the war in his knowledge montage
Jimmy is so cute I just wanna squish his cheeks
Oh Clark is so Guy rn, he's so Average
Oh I love how he's pretending he can't open a bottle, this is so funny
Lmao Jimmy calling Perry "sugar"
Awww he sends checks to his mom ❤️ but does he still visit her >:|
I love his just some guy vibes
Omg I love him, Henry Cavill could never!! I mean, can you honestly imagine that man saying "swell" unironically?
He's such a big dork I love him
Oh ok he came to earth in '38, started his time skip in '56 and it's now 1968? Or is the time weird and it's in '78?
First day on the job and he gets robbed at gunpoint smh
He caught and bullet and then "fainted" and then he accidentally used his x-ray vision?? Man can't catch a break
Shout out to the seeing eye dog who barks when ppl try to steal/ripoff the blind newspaper seller
Omg lex just killed a guy by train
Wait, lex isn't bald? Also that woman he's with? Love her costume design, it's so slay
So is lex not a celebrity/business owner in this movie? Ok
And I've given it more thought, if Clark landed in 1940 then this movie would take place in 1970 which somewhat matches the costuming choices
Oh Clark sweety I love you so much you are such an idiot/pos he almost walked into the ladies room and he got his coat stuck in the door lol
He really is just some guy!!! waiting for the elevator
Huh, I didn't know they used to have waiting rooms for flights at newspaper offices, wack
Omg he just changed into his Superman suit and a pimp said his outfit was bad, I love this this is so camp
Metropolis just got their blorbo ❤️
*saves Lois lane and then infodumps on her* what a man, love that for him
Aww the little wave as he said bye, so cute
He just left a boat in the middle of the road lmao
Aww he saved a kitty in a tree, ajdhslsj girl just got hit for telling a lie about how a man saved her cat
Superman doing what Homelander could never
Ah the 70s, when you could smoke indoors on the job
Love Lois and her nic addiction. Also girl got dressed up for a man who saved her life once and then took off. You know what? Me too girl
"how big are you? I mean, how tall are you?" Okayyyy get it I guess, Miss Lane coming out with the real questions
Girl just asked him to look at her underwear, the flirting between them is amazing
They flew from south Jersey to New York in a romantic Aladdin-esque way
Lmao he dropped her
Love the poetry Lois is dropping out of nowhere
Man just upstaged himself on a date wow love him
Oh ok so he took off in 1948, landed in 1951, went on his trip in 1966, and it is now 1978, ok that makes way more sense
Luthor's secretary is so slay
Shout out to my fellow Native who sold bad land for an amazing price to some guy he didn't even know. Get that bag however you need to get that bag. Also, "At the stupid high price he offered for this worthless piece of desert, I hope it's Custer." Iconic!!! W for the Natives
He can telepathically change his suit??
He can drill into the ground by spinning?!??
Lex's yellow flower suit is so slay
Clark is so wet and pathetic rn, love that look on him
Wow unsolicited kiss, Miss Teschmacher how could you? You were so slay! Clark looked so sad and hurt afterwards D':
Is he pushing the plates of the earth back together?!?!? What?!?!?!!!!!
My man, Clark kent, is pushing two tectonic plates back together with his bare hands from the center of the Earth, what the fuck
Oh my God he also used himself as a rail for a train
Love the obvious miniature town and flood but also, Clark honey blocking it with rocks wouldn't work, ice breath would be the best option imo
Oh this is the movie where he flys so fast he turns back time, I want someone to explain to me mathematically how this works
Lois is such a girlboss the first thing she does when she sees Superman is rant and tell him off for not helping her. Girl. You just died to him. But still, werk
Oh he is bald! He was wearing wigs? Ok slay ig
10/10 loved this movie, it was camp, it was iconic!!!
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Wait, does the cheating thing on the bond always works? bcs that would be kinda freaky for R!Dipper like imagine you get pinned down by someone in the corner of a br or smthng and then said person kissed you and proceeded to explode into red mist and you literally have no idea what happened.
Also, would the constellation mark be a "cursed" Mark over the years, like you would give birth to a baby and the doctor says "😟 I am so sorry ma'am,,, I'm afraid your baby has the Cipher Companion mark. ( could also be something equally as science-y like Ursa Major, Constellation Calamation, etc idk)" And you just burst into tears.
Would that mean that dipper would get into a special program(demon wrangling program or smthng, demonologist? Maybe)? Or would the parents hide it away hoping that Bill would never take their child away?
(Sorry this au is just very interesting to me,,,, I hope u get more motivation, keep writing author 💪)
These are all options! The fun part of reincarnation AU being left ambiguous is that technically any of them could happen.
#And when Dipper regains his memory perhaps Mom!Mabel does too? That's gotta be pretty weird for them#Or maybe it's like 'wow. Huh. Well I guess that explains a few things#since they always acted a bit more like siblings than the average single mother/ cursed child dynamic#Sorry I just love this concept so much. I've actually thought about it a few times but I couldn't tell if that was like. a weird thing to do#An old bond once again rekindling itself by chance and the opportune nature of infinite lives <3#Mabel would be a good mom I think even though she looooves embarrassing her son so so much#He's way too caught up in stuff like fitting in and having friends when all he REALLY needs is to find one hot guy and lock that in#I think if the birthmark became the omen that it so clearly is Mabel would hype him up and try styling his hair to emphasize it#What a handsome and doomed young man! So SO cosmically doomed <3 She's very proud of him and his inescapable fate#And let's not be modest here. It was a teen pregnancy and she doesn't give a damn who the father is so long as there's this cutie patootie#She may also be one of the first parents after Dipper's first death who names him 'Dipper' again. Something about it. The name spoke to her#Okay but I don't wanna linger on just this because I love ALL of your tags and also it's way too late for me to rant about motherly love#I always just kind of assumed their cheating arrangement kicked in once Dipper was. Ya know. *Dipper* again.#Makes for at least a handful of awkward sweaty kisses for him to cringe about late at night until his husband arrives to clean the slate#The thought of it being an ETERNAL agreement I can also see. Bill's too possessive for his (Dipper's) own good smh#He's like. Five. It doesn't even mean anything when he kisses her. Just that he likes that she knows stuff about bugs and that's cool.#And she explodes. Not the best introduction into the world of romance. It causes a shit ton of trauma regarding romance and his own intimacy#He doesn't know that Bill's the one person he *CAN* kiss and it tears him up inside wondering what those lips feel like#First time Bill really reads the mood right and tries closing in on him Dipper shoves him away. THAT'S a miscommunication#Or maybe he just sort of. Thinks people explode when they get romantic and that's normal. He's kind of surprised Bill *didn't* explode#thank you for leaving room for angsty fanfictioners because I love terrible awful things happening to the mc that leave them forever changed#Some guy gets. Too close. Far too close. Dipper didn't even *want* to be there in the first place so why in the hell does it happen to him?#God that is just overflowing with character struggle and future issues with intimacy in his personal life. How would Bill even approach this#Who's more upset? Dipper for 'letting' it happen? Or Bill for not being able to protect him when it did?#They're both a mess in this scenario of course. Just a couple of guys unable to communicate how much they want to touch but just. Can't.#It's just so hard- Dipper wants to hold him. He wants to stay away. He has fantasies that make him sick to his stomach with lust and guilt#Bill's boiling beneath the surface but the threat's already been long dealt with. Still. There's the damage left behind in Dipper's chest#They'll figure it out eventually. Their love is a lot more than physical touch. It's spiritual. Even Dipper's nerd brain knows that#Dipper's first time with someone *Not* Bill back in his teen years is so bad that he just assumes sex is supposed to be 'meh#Then his husband comes along and shatters the goal post that is his expectations and it is great. Find someone who is so hot and so annoying
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is bousplanet fr missing a whole performance (at least) cuz I'm missing mfs in my excel commenting on every single guy's every single performance
#like????? huh????#is a g group missing???#and back during star missions none of the guys had left yet mainly i saw i believe all three contestants#wjo left between star mission and signal song#so where are the missing dozens#yesterday on desktop at least two stages wouldnt show up on the mnet channel but now this morning on mobile they do (id found them thru#playlists yesterday) but theres really at least one stage (cuz idk how the missing guys r divided) thats straight up nowbere to be found#whats up boys planet. where are the boys#the struggle i went thru yesterday trying to find tbe lullaby one too cuz i liked kmh's perf in the here i am fancam#if it werent for him i may have not realised some stages were missing at all lol#anywaymh. maybe i desensitised but this week was overall better in perf slightly most still were mid i feel#n i didnt rly get WOA much aside from like. hui doesnt count he's a professional. and kjw doing more than he needs given he can make it#to the final on looking pretty alone but#anyway there were still disasters but last week was so profoundly Bad that in comparison this just feels like the average dozen gathering#rather than the pure middle school talent show energy of ep1#kind of unbalanced split of stages over two weeks when y think abt it
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It's 2012 somewhere. Welcome.... to Night Vale Tumblr.
👁️ nvcr-official
Hi guys! I'm Intern Sarah! Excited to be joining you all!
👁️ nvcr-official
To the friends and family of Intern Sarah, she was a good intern and social media manager, and we are sorry to see her go. We will work to find a new intern as soon as possible.
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🦉 dark-owl-records
CALL OUT POST FOR CECIL PALMER
hes gotten away with shit for too long and im sick of it. tl;dr horrific intern mistreatment with no compensation, mountain denier, homophobic
keep reading
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Hey uh. Aren't you a company account? Why are you posting this
🦉 dark-owl-records
L + ratio + god forbid women do anything + your music taste is trash
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Isn't Cecil literally gay?
🦉 dark-owl-records
he's homophobic
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he has a husband...
🦉 dark-owl-records
yeah and he won't fucking shut up about it
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🤫 cecils-private-blog
Carlos hasn't liked any of my woodcarving posts in THREE DAYS!! I'm so scared what if he's going to break up with me :((
👁️ nvcr-official
Cecil he's your husband he's not breaking up with you. also this isn't a private blog you just put private in the url
🤫 cecils-private-blog
HOW DID YOU SEE THIS
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tamika flynn spotted in ralph's dairy aisle "slaying" the milk
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op i know this is a joke but one time i was in the ralphs dairy aisle and there was some butter up on a really high shelf and someone said "don't worry, i'll get it" and i turned around and it was fucking tamika flynn
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fake story :/
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No it's true I was there
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TAMIKA FLYNN??
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what the fuck is happening on my post
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👁️ nvcr-official
can you guys please stop sending cecil weird shit... i don't want to have to explain to my boss what a dilf is
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🐚 mariella-shella
Hey guys!! Sorry for the lack of posts recently! I entered a hole in the wall and when I got out I realized I didn't know how long I'd been in there, or where I was, or who I am, and I'm not sure that I'm still the person who entered that hole however long ago. Anyway, the normal posting schedule will resume as soon as I remember what my normal posting schedule was, and if I'm still the person who had that posting schedule!
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omg mariella!!! missed u so much girl glad ur back!
🐚 mariella-shella
i miss me too
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😎 Anonymous asked: Response to the homophobic allegations?
🎙️ cecilpalmer
Huh??
🎙️ cecilpalmer
@nvcr-official What does this mean? Is it new slang?
👁️ nvcr-official
uhhhh dont worry about it buddy
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🧤 missy-mittens Follow
hey guys im in quarantine for eating wheat and wheat byproducts uh...send asks?? i might be in here for a while lmaooo
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oh lights in the sky its been 5 years since i made this post
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how's it going op
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i miss my family
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hey if anyone remembers anything about the person running this blog can you tell me? trying to recover the fragments of my identity from the void of memory lol
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you were really hot
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FUCK YEAHHHHHH
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🦉 a-weird-bird Follow
just a reminder that new residents of east night vale are fully welcome to interact with this blog!!!! you will not be harassed and any hate will be blocked. this blog is safe even if this town isn't sometimes <3
🌻 sunflowergirl Follow
This is so sweet, thank you so much! Just so you know, even though it's officially called East Night Vale now, a lot of people still call it Desert Bluffs! Just thought you might want to know :)
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i'm not calling it that sorry
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What??? Why??
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just kind of sucks. as a name
🌻 sunflowergirl Follow
?????????
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⬜️ kentuckymeatshower_deactivated11051983
what does this mean....
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another great post from huntokar herself
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you don't like pine cliff? 👻 oo ooo?
👁️ nvcr-official
NIGHT VALE SWEEEEEP
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Hi everyone!! Since Twitter went down, I figured I'd try my hand at this Tumblr thing! I'm so excited to meet all of you!! Hope you're ready for some pictures of CENTIPEDES!! Feel free to AMA about the Smiling God!
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#fake tumblr#fan: weird little town#i hope you all like this one i came up with it during a slow shift a few nights back and have been carefully crafting it to perfection#boss makes a dollar i make a dime thats why i invent fake tumblr posts on company time. as they say#unreality#< jic#wow look something original!!#im not maintagging this one im letting it find its own way in the world#go my little post. be free#long post#edit: FUCK I FORGOT NOTE COUNTS ON SOME OF THEM. EDITED THOUGH IT MAY BE TOO LATE
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Bringing Sexy Back
Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader
Synopsis: Peter tries and fails to seduce you
Masterlist
To kick off the summer, Tony organized a group vacation to a resort at “one of his less crowded islands”, as he put it. The team sat together on the quinjet while Tony gave out the room assignments to everyone, ending with you and Peter.
“Parker and my beloved offspring, you’re in the penthouse suit with me. But don’t worry, you guys have your own room. It’s just connected to mine with thin walls and a door I can easily break down.” Tony said with a calm smile.
“Thanks, dad.” You smiled back at him before excusing yourself to go to the bathroom. Once you were gone, Sam leaned over to him.
“Wow, I feel for you, man. You really got the short end of the stick.” Sam said and patted Peters back.
“Short? I’m 5’8. That’s average height.” Peter defended himself.
“For a woman.” Sam snorted. “But that’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean?” Peter wondered.
“I mean you finally get to spend the night with your girlfriend and her dad is in the next room. That means the only way you’re getting laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.” Sam replied, making everyone laugh at Peters's expense.
“Oh. That’s gotta hurt.” Bruce laughed. “It hurt me and it wasn’t even directed at me.”
“That’s called a ricochet.” Natasha said. “Also done by bullets and Taylor Swifts tears.”
“I understood that reference.” Steve chimed in.
“Did you?” Peter asked skeptically, making Steve’s smile fall.
“That’s the one that sings “Single Ladies”, right?” He whispered to Natasha.
“Uh huh.” Natasha smiled sarcastically.
“Are you gonna take that, Parker?” Bruce asked Peter. Peter noticed everyone was looking at him and blushed in embarrassment.
“It wasn’t that clever. Chickens don’t even lay eggs. Hens do. And we don’t do that so it doesn’t matter.” He mumbled. Everyone’s eyes widths they leaned forward in their seats.
“Don’t do what?” Sam asked for clarification. Peter looked around at all the peering eyes and shrunk down in his seat.
“Sex.” Peter reluctantly admitted.
“You don’t do sex?” Sam laughed in surprise.
“Have we forgotten how to speak?” Natasha asked the crowd.
“Why are you guys all looking at me the way we looked at Bucky when he told us he didn’t wash his ass in the shower?” Peter asked.
“It honestly never crossed my mind.” Bucky shrugged.
“Hold on. How long have you guys been together?” Bruce asked Peter.
“Two months.”
“Two months? And you haven’t smushed yet?” Sam gasped.
“Ew. Smushed? There’s no actual smushing involved, right?” Peter forced a laugh. No one replied and his smile fell.
“Right?” He asked seriously.
“No offense kid, but that’s a long time to keep a lady waiting.” Steve said. “You two need to do a little bit of the old how’s yer father, if you know what I mean.”
“I don’t. What the fuck does that mean?” Sam asked and pulled out his phone.
“Who are you to talk? Aren’t you a 1,000 year old virgin?” Peter deadpanned.
“100 years.” Steve corrected. “And yes. I am.”
“No he’s not.” Bucky said.
“I googled it. It was Steve’s old man way of saying putting some stank on it.” Sam read off his phone.
“Why haven’t you guys done it yet?” Natasha wondered. “It’s not like you just met. You’ve known her for years.”
“Yeah, but she’s only been my girlfriend for two months of those years. It’s a big transition. We’re waiting for the right moment.”
“So you’ve talked about it?” Steve asked him.
“Well, no.” Peter admitted. “I’m just assuming.”
“Assuming what exactly?” Natasha asked.
“That’s she’s waiting for the right moment to tell me she wants to do it. And then it’ll just happen then.” Peter shrugged.
“Hm.” Natasha said curtly. Peter noticed the look on everyone’s face and grew worried.
“What?” He laughed nervously.
“Nothing.” Steve shrugged and avoided eye contact.
“You can’t make that face and say “hm” and then not tell me.” Peter insisted.
“I think she’s ready.” Steve admitted. “I think she’s more than ready. You’re the one who’s not ready. That’s why you haven’t made a move yet.”
“She could’ve made a move.” Peter pointed out.
“No girl wants that.” Sam waved his hand. “They want their man to take charge and sweep them off their feet. You know, romance? Making her feel special?”
“She hates being lifted off her feet.” Peter insisted. “I picked her up once and she punched me in the throat and the bing bongs at the same time.”
“Hey, I taught her that move. I’m glad to see she’s using it.” Natasha smiled proudly.
“I have to agree with Sam on this one.” Steve said. “Girls like a romantic gesture. I’m not saying you have to literally sweep her off her feet, but make it clear that you want her. Or else she’s gonna start to feel under appreciated and unseen.”
“You guys don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re waiting and that’s okay.” Peter insisted.
“She’s waiting. For you. To make a God damn move already.” Sam replied.
“And you know what happens if you wait too long?”
“What happens?” Peter gulped.
“She’ll find someone who’s ready now.” Sam shrugged.
“Well what am I supposed to do? How do I make her feel special?”
“She was your best friend before your girlfriend right?” Bruce asked him.
“Yeah.”
“So she should be the person you’re most comfortable with. Just make a move. She’ll make a move in return. That’s how it works.” Bruce explained.
“Just like that?” Peter asked skeptically.
“Just like that.” Sam confirmed. By the point, you were back from the bathroom and sitting in a seat by yourself. Peter graced himself before going over to sit beside you.
“Hey.” Peter smiled at you.
“Hey Petey. What’s going on?” You smiled back.
“Nothing much. Just wanted to come sit by my lady.” He said and wrapped an arm around you.
“Aw. You’re so cute.” You smiled and leaned into him.
“You’re cute. Are these new?” He asked and tugged on the hem of your shorts.
“New to me.” You shrugged. “I stole them from Pepper.”
“I like them. They look good on you.” He said as he looked into your eyes. You smiled at the compliment and leaned in to kiss his cheek. Peter blushed and looked over his shoulder at Sam, who was nodding his head to give him the go ahead. Peter nodded back before returning his attention to you. He went to put his hand on your thigh, but since the action was unnatural to him, he ended up grabbing your thigh so quickly and harshly that you jumped.
“Oh my God. What was that?” You gasped and pushed his hand off.
“Sorry. There was a spider on your leg.” Peter quickly lied.
“And you killed it? Isn’t that like…cannibalism?” You asked him.
“No.” Peter chuckled. “Wait. Oh my God. Is it?”
“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “But thanks for killing it. I didn’t even feel it on my leg.”
“Hm. Weird.” Peter forced a laugh. He looked over at Sam again, who was shaking his head in disappointment.
“This is gonna be harder than I thought.” Peter thought to himself.
With Tony in the room right next store, Peter didn’t dare try anything while on the vacation. But once you returned to the tower a week later, it was game time.
“Peter? Are you in here?” You asked as you knocked on his bedroom door one day.
“One second, baby. I’m in the shower.” Peter called to you from the bathroom in his room.
“Okay. I’ll wait out here.” You shouted back and took a seat on his bed. Peter heard your response and thought back to what the team said about making a move. Before he could second guess himself, he called out again.
“You don’t have to do that. Why don’t you join me?”
“What? I can’t hear you over the water.” You said as you walked over to the bathroom door so he could hear you better.
“I didn’t say anything.” He lied when he felt he had failed.
“Oh. It sounded like you did.” You laughed and leaned against his bathroom door.
“That was just the sound of my shampoo bottle falling.” Peter lied.
“Oh. Okay.” You answered skeptically. You were about to go back to his bed when you heard a loud thud.
“Peter? What was that? Did you shampoo fall again?” You opened the door a little to ask him.
“No. My body did.” Peter groaned from the shower floor.
“Oh no. Are you okay?”
“Not really.” He winced. “I think I twisted my ankle.”
“Do you need help?”
“Yeah, but…” Peter began but trailed off.
“But what?” You asked.
“I’m nakey.” He said in a little voice.
“I’ll close my eyes, okay?” You laughed.
“You don’t have to. I just wanted to warn you that you’re about to see the biggest penis you’ve ever seen.” Peter said seriously, making you laugh again.
“Oh really? Is Thor in there?” You asked.
“That was hurtful.”
“You’re such an idiot. I’m coming in, okay? Hide your massive penis.” You warned as you entered the bathroom.
“I’ll try. But it won’t be easy.” Peter sighed. You opened the shower door with your elbow while covering your eyes with both hands.
“I’m here. Can you see me?” You asked him.
“Why would o not be able to see you? You’re the one with your eyes covered.”
“Oh. Right. Where are you?”
“The floor. Because I fell. That’s typically where people end up after they fall.”
“I should just leave you here to drown.” You said and turned to leave.
“Wait, come back. Please.” Peter whined. “They’ll never find a casket big enough to hold my massive schlong.”
“I hate you so much.” You laughed and came back. You bent down and helped him off the floor but grabbing his arm.
“Ah!” You screamed and dropped his arm.
“What?”
“You’re wet.” You grimaced.
“I’m in the shower.” He reminded you.
“I don’t know why but I wasn’t expecting you to be wet. Put my hand on the knob. I’ll turn it off.” You told him. Peter took your hand and guided it to the knob while you kept your eyes tightly shut. You heard the sound of the water turning off and Peter sighing in relief.
“There we go. Much better.” He said.
“Okay. I’m gonna pick you up now.” You told him and bent down to wrap your arms around his torso.
“Ah!” He screamed.
“What?”
“That tickles.” He sheepishly admitted.
“Oh my God.” You laughed. “Where’s your robe?”
“Hanging on the back of the door.” He told you. You kept your eyes shut but walked over to the door and felt around until you found his robe.
“Okay. I found it.”
“Throw it at me.” Peter said. You threw it outwards and it smacked him in the face. “You got it?”
“Yes. Ow.” Peter huffed as he put it on.
“Sorry.” You grimaced.
“Okay. You can open your eyes now.”
“Okay.” You said but didn’t open them.
“Baby. You open them.” Peter laughed.
“Sorry. I got scared.” You admitted as you opened your eyes.
“Of what?” Peter gulped, thinking you were scared to see him naked.
“Of seeing you on the shower floor and getting the biggest ick of my entire life.” You replied, making Peter laugh in relief.
“Fair enough.”
“Come on, little guy. I gotcha.” You bent down and helped him up with ease now that you could see.
“What did we say about calling me “little guy”?” Peter reminded you.
“That it’s funny and hilarious?” You asked innocently as you helped lead him out of the bathroom.
“Those are synonyms.”
“What about cinnamon?”
“What?”
“What?” You asked in reply. He shook his head endearingly as you walked him over to his bed.
“Okay. We’re here. Sit down.” You said and helped him into his bed.
“Well that was fun. And wet.” Peter said as he combed his wet hair out of his face with his fingers.
“You’re telling me.” You said and showed him your now soaking wet shirt.
“Sorry about that. You can grab a shirt from my closet.” He told you.
“Thanks.” You smiled at him before going over to his closet. You pulled out a T shirt and we’re about to put it on when you felt his eyes on you. You looked over your shoulder at him and he turned red.
“I’ll close my eyes.” Peter offered.
“It’s okay. You can watch. I don’t mind.” You smiled innocently at him before turning back around. Peter gulped as you pulled your shirt off and stayed perfectly silent. He could see your bra band when your hair moved and though it wasn’t much, it was as naked as he had ever seen you. You’d never been in so much as bathing suits around the other so this showing of skin was both unexpected but highly anticipated. Peter watched you pull his shirt over your head and fix your hair before turning back around.
“Better?” He asked in a soft voice.
“Better.” You nodded. He couldn’t help but wonder if you knew about the conversation he had had with the team. It wasn’t like you to get changed in front of him so maybe you weren’t trying to make a move as well.
“How’s your ankle feeling?” You asked as you sat on Peters bed.
“Not bad. I think it’s already healing.” He said and moved his robe to look at it.
“Good. You need it to climb walls and shoot webs out of your butt and stuff.”
“I have told you so many times.” Peter sighed. “The webs do not come out of my butt.”
“There is no doubt in my mind that you’re lying and just won’t show me. And that’s fine.” You shrugged.
“You’re ridiculous.” He laughed and took your hand.
“Yeah. Maybe a little.” You chuckled and played with his fingers. A comfortable silence filled the room as Peter started to form a plan in his head.
“So.” He laughed nervously. “Here we are. In my room. Alone.”
“I know. It’s nice.”
“You think so?” Peter asked hopefully.
“Yeah. It’s so rare we get time when no one else is around. It can finally just be the two of us.” You said and reached out to brush some hair off his forehead. Peter felt his whole face flush and scooted a little closer to you.
“I’ve actually been hoping we’d get some alone time.” He told you.
“Me too.” You smiled coyly and leaned in a little.
“Did you have anything in mind you want to do?” He asked and leaned in as well.
“I could think of a few things.” You flirted.
“Oh yeah? Like what?”
“For starters, you’ll have to lose this robe.” You said and ran your hand along the collar of his robe. Peter gulped as you got up and went back over to his closet.
“Done.” Peter nodded as he frantically started to undo the belt of his robe.
“And put this on.” You said as you tossed him some pajamas.
“Whatever you say, pretty girl. Wait, what? What’s this?” Peters smile fell when the pajamas fell into his lap.
“Pajamas. So you can get comfy and we can finally watch New Girl before it leaves Netflix.” You told him.
“Oh. Right. Pajamas. I’ll just put these on.” Peter tried to mask the disappointment in his voice as he tugged his shirt over his head. By the time you were snuggled into his side with your head on his shoulder, his disappointment was gone. He had gotten so caught up in what the team had said that he forgot to appreciate the little moments with you. He let it go for tonight and just enjoyed spending time together.
The next day, he was back on his bullshit. He found you in the kitchen with your back to him as you flipped through a magazine. Peter and wrapped his arms around you and placed a kiss on your shoulder to let you know he meant business.
“Hey you.” He said as he rested his chin on your shoulder.
“Hey Petey. What’s going on?” You smiled over your shoulder at him.
“Nothing. I just wanted to see you.”
“You’re so sweet lately. What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing. I just really like you.” He replied and kissed your shoulder again. He decided to make a move and tilted his chin a little higher so he could kiss your neck.
“Fuck me.” You whispered as you flipped a page of your magazine. Peter immediately perked up and turned you around, thinking his plan had worked.
“What was that?” He gulped as his face burned bright red.
“Sorry. Paper cut.” You said and held up your bleeding finger. Peter took a split second to realized you were cursing, not requesting, before jumping into action.
“Here. Let me help.” He said and gently took your finger. He walked to the bathroom with you and turned on the faucet. He was about to put in under the water when he got a different idea. He looked you right in the eyes as he took your finger into his mouth and sucked the blood off of it. You watched him as he did this and gulped a little.
“Peter?” You asked in a soft voice. A hope sparked in Peter’s chest that he had successfully made a move.
“Yes?”
“Do you have any idea how many germs you just put in my open wound?” You said, making all Peters hope disappear.
“Oh. Sorry.” He shook his head in embarrassment and held your finger under the running water.
“Why did you turn the water on and then suck it instead?” You asked him. Peter thought about lying, but knew it was no use.
“I…I thought it would be sexy.” He admitted.
“You thought sucking my paper cut would be sexy? Okay, Edward.” You snorted as you got a bandaid out of the cabinet for yourself.
“Edward? Who’s that?” Peter felt a hot flash of jealousy over the mention of another boys name. He normally wouldn’t have that reaction, but he was extra sensitive after what Steve said about you finding someone else.
“The vampire from Twilight. Relax.” You laughed in surprise.
“Oh. Right.” He smiled in embarrassment.
“Peter Parker. Were you jealous at the mere drop of another boys name?” You playfully gasped.
“Is that bad?” Peter asked as he helped put a bandaid on your finger.
“I don’t think it’s bad.” You shrugged. “I think it’s kinda hot that you’re the jealous type. As long as you don’t get all possessive on me.”
“I won’t. I’ve seen enough white women with “love her but leave her wild” tattooed on them to know better.” Peter replied, making you laugh.
“Well that’s good to hear. And for what it’s worth, you’ve proven to be a lovely boyfriend so far. I’ve really enjoyed these past few months.”
“So have I.” Peter smiled softly. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss to let him know all was forgiven.
“So why were you trying to be sexy before?” You asked once you pulled away.
“I don’t know. I was just trying to make a move.” He sheepishly admitted.
“Make a move? Why would you need to do that?” You laughed. Peter could barely conceal the disappointment that he felt from your response. It seemed like the number one thing on his mind right now was the last thing on yours.
“Oh. I don’t know.” He faked a smile. You took his face in your hands and made him look at you.
“Petey, if you want me, just take me.” You said like it was obvious.
So he took you.
Peter wrapped an arm around your waist and lifted you with ease as he kissed you. You anchored your arms around his neck so that you wouldn’t slide off as he carried you to his room. Peter laid you down on his bed without ever breaking the kiss. Both of you could feel the electricity in the air and knew something big was about to happen. But before you could get too far, the door opened.
“Hey guys - stop screaming, it’s me.” Sam held up a hand when he was met with screams from you and Peter.
“We know it’s you. What do you want?” Peter groaned.
“Nothing. I’m just bored.” Sam shrugged and took a bite of his sandwich in his hand. You and Peter stared at him in disbelief of his inability to read a room while he noisily chewed his food.
“So what are you guys up to?” He asked and pointed between the two of you.
“Take a wild guess.” You said sarcastically.
“I would tell you what I think is happening.” Thor chuckled. “But I know that’s not the case since you two don’t-“
“Sam.” Peter cut him off.
“Did I say too much? Sorry. I’ll leave you alone.” Sam winked at Peter before leaving the room. The silence between you was uncomfortable as you struggled to know what to say.
“What was he about to say?” You asked an after a minute.
“I have no idea.” Peter lied. You looked at him and he knew he was caught.
“Don’t lie to me. Was he gonna say we don’t hook up?”
“Yeah. He was.” He admitted.
“You told him that?” You asked and got off his bed to put some distance between you.
“No. I would never.” He assured you. “It came up on the plane the other day. They were teasing me about you and it just kinda came out that we haven’t…you know.”
“Oh. Okay.” You nodded but didn’t seem fully convinced.
“I’m sorry. I know you like to be private.”
“It’s not your fault. I just worried that you had been complaining to them that we don’t…” You trailed off and Peter realized why you were upset.
“Honey. Never.” He assured you as he took your hand and gave it a squeeze. This seemed to ease your mind and you sat back down on his bed.
“Okay. Good.” You smiled in relief. Peter avoided looking at you as he rubbed his thumb over your knuckles.
“Does it bother you? That we haven’t done it yet?” He asked as a deep blush spread across his face.
“Well,-“ You began.
“Do you guys know the Hulu password?” Sam asked as he opened Peters door again.
“Get out!” Peter shouted and threw a pillow at him.
“I’m trying to watch Bridesmaids. Please.” Sam whined. “I’m desperate. They just added it back on there.”
“Oh my God.“ Peter groaned and rubbed his eyes, knowing the moment had lost.
“Go ask my dad or something.” You huffed.
“You guys suck. Not you, Y/n. Clearly.” Sam laughed at his own joke and left the room again. A awkward silence filled the room again and Peter felt like the worst person in the world. He knew it bothered you that he had told the team something personal and even worse, he could feel your disappointment in him.
“I’m gonna go.” You said to break the silence. You got off the bed and Peter felt you quickly slipping out of his hands.
“Wait! Don’t leave.” He pleaded.
“I have to go move my car.” You said hastily.
“Can we please talk about this?”
“I have to go move my car!” You exclaimed and swiftly left the room.
“I know you don’t have to do that!” He called after you. “We’ve watched New Girl together. I know you got that from Nick Miller.”
Peter let out a frustrated sigh and flopped on his bed. He wasn’t alone for long before Pepper and Thor knocked on his door.
“Hey, kiddo.” Pepper said kindly.
“Woah. Weird combo. Have you two ever interacted before?” Peter asked and pointed between the two of them. They looked at each other and shook their heads.
“No.” They said in unison.
“So what were you doing outside my door?”
“Not that we were listening to your entire conversation, but we were. And you guys need to talk about this.” Pepper said as she sat on Peters bed.
“We tried.” Peter sighed. “Sam kept interrupting.”
“But even before he interrupted, you weren’t really getting anywhere, were you?” Pepper asked kindly.
“What do you mean?”
“Neither of you could even say the word “sex”. How do you expect to do it if you can’t even say it?”
“I don’t know. I never thought about that.” Peter realized.
“You need to have a mature conversation with her about this. That’s the only way to know how she’s feeling and to let her know what you’re feeling.” Pepper said and patted Peters knee.
“Okay. I guess you’re right.”
“Or.” Thor began, getting Peter’s attention.
“Or? There’s another option?” Peter perked up.
“Yes. Here’s what you do. You seduce her. No words, only passion.”
“I’m listening.” Peter leaned in.
“You spray yourself with a sexy body spray. You put some sexy sheets on your bed. You lure her to your bedroom. You play a sexy song. You dim the lights because bad lighting is sexy. You light some sexy candles. You make the setting so irresistible that you won’t need words. She’ll know exactly what’s about to happen.” Thor told him.
“I think that’s a solid plan.” Peter nodded along.
“That’s a horrible plan.” Pepper exclaimed. “That is the dumbest plan I have ever heard. You clearly need to talk to her.”
“How sexy of a song are we talking here?” Peter ignored her.
“The sexiest. But don’t confuse that with raunchy. She’s not gonna get in the mood if she walks in to some degrading song. You need to pick the perfect playlist that does all the talking for you.” Thor told him.
“Or, you could do the talking for you.” Pepper suggested.
“No. I’m gonna go with Thors idea.” Peter decided.
“Huzzah!” Thor raised his arms in triumph.
“Huzzah? How come sometimes you soudn completly normal and sometimes you sound like a World of Warcraft character?” Peter asked him.
“I’m not familiar with this World of Warcraft. But if I had fought in it, I would’ve won.” Thor smiled proudly.
“Thanks for the advice guys. I know what im gonna do.”
The next day, the plan was in action. Peter found some red silk sheets from a box in Tony’s room labeled “my bachelor era” and put them on his bed. He doused himself with a cologne he borrowed from Bruce before taking off his shirt and rubbing baby oil all over his chest, leaving him in just his black boxers. He looked at himself in the mirror and flexed his muscles.
“Perfect.” He decided. Now it was time to lure you in, just like Thor told him.
“FRIDAY, play Careless Whisper. George Michael.” Peter requested.
“Playing Careless Whisper.” FRIDAY said and the song began to blast from the speakers.
“Thank you. Now dim the lights.”
“Dimming, sir.” FRIDAY complied.
“Time to lure.” Peter smiled wickedly. He pulled out his phone and tried to text you but his fingers were too slippery from the baby oil.
“Damn it. FRIDAY, text Y/n stark and tell her to meet me in my room. And say it’s urgent.”
“Texting Tony and Y/n Stark.” FRIDAY, replied, but the music was too loud for Peter to hear it.
“The trap is set. Now we wait.” Peter excitedly rubbed his hands together and turned around. It wasn’t long before he heard his door opening behind him.
“Peter? Are you in here?” He heard your voice and slowly turned around.
“Well hello - TONY?! I mean, Mr. Stark? What, uh, what are you doing here?” Peter laugh nervously and covered his crotch with his hands. You looked at his piled up body and boxers and slapped both hands over your mouth to stifle your laugh. Once you realized what song was playing, you had to turn around so your dad didn’t see you losing it.
“What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Are you covered in sunblock?” Tony asked him.
“No. It’s baby oil.” Peter sheepishly admitted.
“Was that supposed to make this less weird?” Tony asked out of the corner of his mouth.
“Why is he here?” Peter whined and looked at you.
“You texted both of us and said it was urgent. I thought you fell im the shower again.” You explained as you struggled to make eye contact because of how distracting his shiny abs were.
“Again? Peter, can’t you stick to walls? How did you fall in the shower?” Tony wondered.
“I slipped, okay? I’m only human. And a little bit spider.” Peter mumbled.
“Wait a second.” Tony held up a finger when he took in his surroundings.
“Sexy music.” Tony gasped and pointed to the speaker.
“Candles.” He gasped louder and pointed to the candles.
“Baby oil.” He gasped even louder and pointed to Peter. He then walked over to Peter’s dresser and let out the loudest gasp of all.
“Pack of extra small condoms?” He gasped and put his hand over his heart. He then looked at Peter with the rage of a thousand men. Peter looked at you, who looked like a mixture of surprise, embarrassment, and fondness.
“Um, it’s not what it looks like?” Peter said weakly. Tony threw the box of condoms at him and it stuck to Peters oiled chest.
“I knew it! You derelict. You ne’re-do-well. You scallawag. You were gonna try to sex my daughter, weren’t you?”
“Can that word be used in that way?” You wondered out loud.
“No. It’s not a verb. Your form was incorrect.” Peter told Tony, immediately regretting it.
“How’s this for form?” Tony asked and raised both his fists as if he was about to mollywhop Peter. You quickly stepped between them and held up a hand.
“Dad. Stop. You’re not gonna fight Peter. You’re obviously misreading things. There’s no way he brought me in here for that. Right, Peter?”
“Uhhh….” Peter trailed off and smiled weakly. Your jaw dropped for a second, but then you looked really pleased. Tony saw the look on your face and let out a loud, elongated groan.
“Goodbye. If you’ll excuse me, I have to go rinse my eyes out with drain cleaner.” Tony stared at you both in disgust as he walked out.
“Dad. You’re embarrassing me.” You whined.
“FRIDAY, add baby oil to the shopping list. Somebody used it all.” Tony called out as he left the room.
Once you were alone, you and Peter looked at each other and laughed in embarrassment.
“Did you really do all this for me?” You asked and rubbed his oiled up shoulder.
“I did. And it was incredibly stupid. I’m sorry.”
“Why did you do it then?”
“Because I wanted our first time to be special. You deserve special.” Peter sighed. You pouted and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him closer.
“Aw, Peter.”
“I know. It was dumb.” He sighed.
“It wasn’t dumb. I think it was really sweet.” You assured him. “Just executed in a kind of terrifying way. The song is so loud that it’s rattling my bones and you look like uncooked chicken.”
“Yeah. This was Thors idea.” Peter laughed in embarrassment and looked down at his shiny body.
“Well it’s not the worst sight in the world.” You shrugged and ran your fingertips down his chest. Peter gulped and looked at you, feeling that electricity return.
“FRIDAY, stop playing the song.” You called out without ever taking your eyes off Peter. He got the hint and shot a web at the door to shut it before going to blow out the candles.
“Wait.” You held out your hand, stopping Peter.
“Leave the candles.” You told him.
“Okay. But why?”
“Well, it’s our first time, isn’t it?” You smiled coyly. “It should be special.”
Peter liked where your head was at but couldn’t go through with it without telling you the whole truth.
“They’re M&M scented candles that I stole from Morgans playroom.” He admitted. You stared at him for a long time before nodding your head.
“Peter?”
“Yeah?”
“Stop talking before I change my mind, okay?”
“Okay.” He nodded excitedly and pulled you into a kiss. You kissed him back and felt the same electricity that was coursing through his veins. Peter laid you down on his bed without breaking the kiss and you felt the red silk sheets he had put on under your skin.
“These sheets are a nice touch.” You flirted in between kisses.
“Only the best for you, baby. I took them from your dad.”
With the mention of your father, you immediately pushed Peter off and felt your entire body cringe. He had once again successfully ruined the moment.
“That’s it. I’m done.” You held uo your hands in defeat and left his room.
“Wait!” Peter called after you. “I cleaned them! I swear!”
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Spider in Gotham AU- Pt.2
[Pt.1]
Peter’s no stranger to memories that comes as nightmares. There’s something different to them, the taste of terror that’s tinged with a feeling of “that’s happened.”
Flashes of Aunt May, dying as he stood next to her while choosing the city over her? Old hat. Inky darkness surrounding MJ falling as Peter reached for her, over and over again? Been there, seen that, didn’t even get a sick scar out of it. Racing against the clock to defeat some bad guy or an unknown threat? That’s his Thursday.
But this?
This isn’t his. It’s real, Peter could tell that much. Sure, it’s wrapped up in silk hisses and heart crushing terror, but Peter could always tell whether a nightmare was a nightmare or whether it was a memory.
This was a memory. Not his. His. It’s complicated.
“Your father, papito, he-,”
Then, it’d be the ruffle of his hair, brown eyes. It reminded him of his mom. But the crease of these eyes were different. Hardened, mean. Even towards him.
“Well, he said no, but I knew what he really wanted.”
The base of Peter’s neck always crawled when he remembered that line. His spider-sense warned him that whatever he’s remembering, he would not like.
“Ey, Peter.”
“Huh?” Peter blinked, looking up from where his arms were elbow deep in wires.
“Don’cha need gloves with that?” Frank asked, munching on some jerky. They were sitting in the living room, repairing a TV and a washer Frank had somehow managed to lug back to the apartment. It’s a toss up between Frank’s network of orphans (Peter included), street rats (these things are not mutually inclusive), or his own slightly higher than average strength. Not that they needed to thrift broken things, considering Peter’s funneling money from offshore bank accounts belonging to this America’s 1%. They just made it so easy! He and Ned had been hacking into government bases in middle school back on his world. This world? Not even a challenge. Regardless, this was kind of like… Frank’s version of those fancy sensory boxes for Peter.
“Oh, no. It’s not plugged in, see?”
“How’re ya gunna know it works then?”
“Plug it in after I’m done. Turn it off and on, you know?”
Frank stared at him, then rolled his eyes towards the ceiling.
“If you burn down that portion of the house, at least we’ll be warm for a bit.”
“Thanks. Your confidence in me is astounding.”
“You talk like an old man.”
“I do not! Excuse you! If I’m old, you’re the expired knock off cup ramen in the back of a convenience store!”
“Yo, shrimpy, that’s rude, ya hear?” Frank snickered, impressed at the quip. The Alley kid turned brother stood up to plop next to Peter.
“So… you gonna go…?” Frank made a whooshing sound and held his hand in a web shooter position.
“Tonight? Prolly. Anything I should look out for?”
“You’re gunna get yourself killed, but yeah, heard the gang’s back up north.”
Peter flashed a smile, dimples coming out. “I’ll try not to. Thanks, Frank.”
“Anytime, Spidey.”
Frank, though little (to Peter), was a good friend. Then again, considering Peter saved his ass both in mask and out of it, it’s to be expected. One would think that after eight years of hiding his identity, Peter would be better at it. Then, he got punted into a different world and got made by a child.
To be fair, the circumstances all but screamed Parker Luck, so Peter’s not counting this instance.
See, the first few days of this sudden cohabitation, Peter had asked Frank to find them furniture. Both because he was getting real sick of eating on the floor and because Peter needed to fix his suit to match his much younger body. Then, once he readjusted the shrinking nanotech and the spider legs to fit him in a way that wouldn’t break him, Peter had promptly swung out of the building and went patrolling. He stuck with the wandering Frank, taking out muggers and robbers and everything in between and past that around the area where Frank is.
Looking back, Peter realized how lucky he was when he decided to go on the “helping joyride” at the beginning of the evening. His spider-sense activated way later in the night, the moment where he began seeing and sensing the cameras that kept pointing towards him. He ducked and dodged out of the way, and eventually, the feeling left. Somebody was watching. And he doesn’t know where they stood on the moral side of things.
Anyways, it happened after three weeks and a half of going out and just… settling into life in Gotham. He had already been struggling to find a way home, scouring the libraries around Gotham on any subject that would aid in his multiversal travel. Peter would like to know which emo kid named this city.
Eventually, Parker Luck decided to strike once more.
“Get back, freak!” The lady brandished a wicked knife.
Talk about deja vu.
“Oh no! Knives! My greatest weakness!” Spider-Man yelled, sticking to the shadowed windows as he let his voice echo in the alley. Gotham had a lot of nice hiding places. Spider-man dropped down on her head like a bat out of hell and webbed the knife out of her hands. He webbed the mugger up onto the alleyway above normal reach, and told the man to call the police.
Frank screamed, just as Spider-man wrapped it up, loud enough to reach his enhanced hearing.
“Wait-!” The man tried to stop him, but Peter, small, trained, and having readjusted his reach, slipped away.
“What’s your name?!” The guy he saved yelled at his back.
Spider-man, distracted, yelled back, “SPIDEY!”
He shot webs upwards and used them to slingshot his way towards where Frank was. And… car! Peter used his webs to swing up, up, and let himself fall to gain momentum. At the last moment, Peter shot a web to the top of the car and pulled himself to it.
Shit, shit, shit. He’s stupidly attached to the kid, and he was stupid enough to let Frank go out into Gotham looking both well-fed and well clothed.
The world slowed as he locked eyes with a terrified Frank, who was getting dragged into a car.
The world narrowed to speed and Spider-Man landed on top of the car roof, sweeping his leg out and thankfully remembering his much shorter reach. His foot collided with the kidnapper’s face with the equivalent force of a grown up, slightly annoyed Peter Parker who’s letting his strength go a bit unchecked. Basically, they went flying, blood spewing out of the undoubtedly broken nose Spider-Man had just given them.
Standing on business, the shorter webster promptly flipped down wards as he all but glued the would-be kidnapper to the curb.
“You alright?”
“You’re- You’re that new mask.” Frank whispered, scuttling away from the car where he’d been dropped.
“Yeah, man. You okay?” His voice modulator came in clutch.
“Fuck. Fuck, I gotta-” Frank stumbled. The kid looked like he was one bad break away from snapping. Peter hated it when kids got that terrified look on their faces, it reminded him of himself, helpless as Ben bled out because they should never have to fear something that much.
Something’s wrong, though. As much as Peter wished otherwise, Frank was a Gotham bred and true alley kid, through and through. These kids don’t spook easily. Peter already stopped a couple of kidnappings and at least two of the kids had yelled at him to stay out of the way before unloading a rain of nut kicks on their kidnappers that left Peter wincing for days in sympathy. Frank being this spooked? Something’s going on.
“Woah, easy there, I’m not gonna hurt you,”
Frank shot him a half hysterical, half condescending look. Yeah, that’s more like it.
“Ob-obviously. I have to go before more of them comes,” Frank muttered.
“More of them? You know what they want?”
Frank stared at him, looking up and down at his blue, red, and gold ensemble.
“I can help,” Peter promised.
“What’re your thoughts on metas?”
Suspicious.
“Uh, they’re fine? Depends on the person, why?”
Frank sighed. The skinny teenager, barely 14, tugged at his hair. “They’re traffickers. Meta kids, mostly, so the Bats don’t do nothing. I- uh, I got caught.” He held up a thin wrist, showing Peter his new accessorie, a think metal bracelet that was beeping red.
Peter cursed in his head. Fuck, of course he’d stumble into a-
“Caught? You’re a meta?”
Frank nodded. “Strength. This is an inhibitor, illegal kind, you know?”
Well, that explained how he got all of those furniture without struggle.
“Right. Hey, don’t stress, kid, I’m a meta too.”
Frank blinked.
“What?”
Peter walked up the side of the car and did jazz hands.
“You’re a meta?! But- but you’re a mask operating in Gotham!”
“Yeah…? Is that weird?”
Before Frank could reply, Peter’s sense screamed and Spider-Man shoved Frank away from the spray of bullets.
“Move, Frank!”
Peter flipped away, vaguely aware of Frank’s gaping realization. He took down the shooters in quick succession, stopping the speeding car with his bare hands and some webs.
“Shooters, no shooting!” He yelled, liberally applying force he tended to keep under wraps. Frank was like a brother to him, and there is no universe where Peter Parker would hold back when his family was in danger.
When he got back to Frank, who had oddly stayed instead of running, Peter found out why the kid stayed.
“Peter?!” Frank hissed lowly, looking more pissed off than terrified. “Are you fucking insane?! Why are you running ‘round as a mask?!”
“Shhh!” Shit, he got made. “Come on, get back to the apartment and we can talk there. I’ll get rid of this-”
Peter casually snapped the bracelet in half, tearing the tracker out, and tucked it away to study later.
“Fuckin’- shit, fine, but you’re explaining everything, motherfucker!”
They split, Peter guessing correctly that he was in another lecture of a lifetime.
——
“Your vigilante name is Spiderman?”
“Hey, I can hear you say it without the hyphen! There’s a hyphen in there!”
“You’re not a man! You’re a twerp!”
“I’ll show you twerp, you-”
Five minutes of tussling later, in which Peter did not try to bite Frank’s arm off, thank you very much, Frank leaned back on the couch.
“Besides. People in the streets are calling you Spidey, anyways.”
“Spidey?”
“Some dude you saved from a mugging said you told him.”
Peter slammed his head on the floor where he was laying face down.
“Ughhhh.”
——
“He could have been great. I saw his potential.”
Anger. But he shouldn’t be afraid. The woman loved him.
“Hey, Peter. You’re up here again.”
“Hi.” Peter stayed curled up. His mind had refused him sleep for the last three nights, causing dark circles to appear underneath his eyes. The memories of what he assumed to be this world’s Peter was merging with his. What he’d seen so far did not fill him with confidence of a happy childhood. Flashes of wielding weapons, the sterile smell of a metal dissection table, and hundreds and hundreds of spiders crawling over him, getting startled into biting down. Plus, the stress of tracking down the meta trafficking circles in Gotham was no joke. He doesn’t know Gotham nearly as well as he knew New York, and he had to be extra careful running around and trying to catch every bit of the circle before making any moves. Frank was helping with his network of homeless Meta kids, but the traffickers were everywhere except for Crime Alley.
He should be dead. They sold his body to an organ harvester who dumped his venom filled corpse on the side of Gotham. At least he didn’t have to worry about killing his alternate version.
“Everything all right?” Red Robin clambered down to sit next to him, cowl hiding the concerned scrunch of his brow. He’s never seen Peter like this.
Peter grumbled, staring down at another alleyway. He knows his alternate died. His shit excuse for another sold his body to an organ harvester, when he seized on the operating table, who dumped his venom filled corpse on the side of Gotham. At least he didn’t have to worry about killing his alternate version. He does, however, have to worry about missing vital organs.
“I… remembered something.” Peter remembered a lot of things. And pretty much none of them were good. This Peter suffered a lot in his short life.
Red Robin nodded. The issue of Peter’s spotty memories had come up in their discussions over the past month.
“Ah. Something unpleasant?”
Peter thought back to the voice who, despite all of the other, highly traumatic memories, haunted his brain like nothing else.
“He didn’t live up to it. He refused to kill. So I made the decision for him.”
“Yeah. Not for me, but unpleasant that I know about it.”
“Yeah, I get that. You wanna talk about it?” Peter hid a small smile. Even though Red Robin kept his tone light, the concern still bled through. Warm. It made Peter feel warm. Even if it appeared that the Bats don’t really care about the trafficked meta kids… maybe Red Robin would come save normal kid Peter if he got kidnapped. A backup plan to consider. For now…
“Sure,” he said. Red Robin waited patiently.
“I think, I remember someone. Maybe, maybe my…” Peter grimaced. “My mom? She… told me something. And uh, I think I’maproductofrape.”
“Oh,” Red Robin said, so awkwardly that Peter had to crack a small smile despite the gravity of the topic. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. Me too. Not myself, but for…” Peter waved a hand. “You know.”
“Yeah.”
“She wasn’t a good person,” Peter whispered and hated how he missed the browns of her eyes- her middle name was Marie, and god, Peter wished he hadn’t known that because he gets why her eyes reminded him so much of his own mother- and she besmirched everything Mary Parker stood for.
“You have our combined potential, Peter. Make sure not to be like him too much and live up to it, papito.”
“It’s okay, to love her even if she hurt other people,” Red Robin said, gently ruffling his greasy hair. Peter’s spidey-sense tingled and he ducked away. Red Robin withdrew his hand. “Because you can’t really help that. Trust me, I’ve tried. You just have to make sure they don’t get the chance to do what they did again.”
Cold, cold voices and his voice gave out from screaming. “You really are your father’s son. Never being able to do what’s necessary.”
And Peter wondered what happened to Red Robin and who hurt him. Peter would just like to talk. Red Robin reminded him of himself, way back when being Spider-Man meant finding out Harry became Green Goblin. Pained. Tired.
“Yeah,” Peter agreed. But that’s not really a problem, considering the last thing the organ harvester said before dumping him in an alley. “She’s dead in a ditch in Siberia or something. I’m not really worried she’ll do it again.”
“Uh.”
“It’s cool,”
“Right. Have you… remembered your dad?”
“Yeah. He’s in Gotham,” Peter unfurled a little.
“You want help tracking him down? I’m good at that kind of thing.”
Peter glanced at Red Robin. “I think you just admitted to being a stalker.”
“Vigilante,” Red Robin shrugged, like it explained everything. And yeah, it kind of did. Peter snorted.
“Nah, it’s okay. I don’t want to meet him anyways.”
“Why not?”
“He doesn’t know about me,” Peter ticked off his fingers. “I’m a literal walking, talking, breathing reminder of his trauma. And I don’t need a dad.”
Red Robin looked at him silently. Peter doesn’t think about it.
He never wanted to see his parents suffer. An alternate version of his dad, hurt so irrevocably by an alternate version of his mom?
Peter hated that this Catalina dirtied his mother’s name, and went against the most fundamental parts of what the spider symbol was meant for. And considering he’s been doing this longer than her, he had first dibs on defining it. He’ll look after his dad, as long as he’s stuck in Gotham. It’s only right.
“His name? Oh, my son, it’s Richard Grayson.”
——
Peter, who Trusts his instincts: no head rubs?? awwwww
Tim, who’s been trying to get a dna sample for the last month: how does he keep evading me?? He must be a genius or a spy or- *spirals down the conspiracy board*
——
Tim: I’ve connected the dots!
Peter: you’ve connected jack shit
——
Listen, the moment I learned Catalina Flores’ middle name, the pieces clicked, okay? Like legos. It’s like, former FBI agent in this one and former CIA agent in Peter’s home universe? Wow. Middle name Marie? Mary Parker? Incredible. Spider themes run in the blood apparently?? They both have brown eyes!! Trying to do good with no qualms about murder!! (I’m assuming since Mary Parker was SHIELD and I don’t think SHIELD cared much for the sanctity of human life if it threatened the country or something)
#tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon#Peter Parker#I think you know who his mom is#nightwing#batman#red robin#Frank the Crime Alley kid#Tim Drake#Tw: mentions of torture#Tw: human experimentation#bruce wayne#dick Grayson#gotham#Tw: mentions of human trafficking#Catalina Marie Flores#tarantula#Spider in Gotham AU
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NOTES — JESS MARIANO
based on a request
masterlist
pairing: jess mariano x reader
description: after months of mutual pining, jess arrives at luke’s having read your favourite novel. oh, and he has some notes.
warnings: swearing, jokey sexual reference, other than that just tooth rotting fluff vibes
author’s note: thank you so much for this request, i loved it sm i had to immediately start writing!!! i hope it does jess justice — i love writing him so much. i may go back and edit some bits im not 100% happy with — but i hope you enjoy!!!
pleaaaaase let me know what you think — i love love love reading you guys’ feedback <3
———
“I finished it.”
If you were anyone else, you’d have jumped out of your skin at the sudden, and rather loud, appearance of someone beside you.
But this was you, and it was Jess, so you were more than used to your ‘peaceful’ study sessions at Luke’s being interrupted by his ever-present smirk, his flirting and his endless supply of smartarse comments.
Not that you could complain.
You’d grown used to his omnipresence over a year ago. And it had been months now since you’d realised that you no longer just tolerated his company — you enjoyed it a ridiculous amount and instead longed for it when he wasn’t around.
You eyed him quizzically, noting how proud of himself he looked for reading your favourite book, but also noticing an unusual lack of self-assurance glimmering through his expression.
“I would ask if you mean this trig stuff for Mr Elton,” you gestured down to the homework you’d been painfully poring over for the past hour, “But I know you too well to expect you to actually do your homework, so what are you talking about?”
He didn’t mention that the real reason he never studied in your trig study sessions was because he was more often than not too busy staring at you and coming up with things to say to make you laugh.
Jess raised his eyebrows, but then shook his head and cleared his throat to do a godawful impression of you, “Oh Jess, I can’t believe you’ve never read it. My favourite novel in the whole world and you’ve never read it!”
You scoffed, “If that was supposed to be me, get out of here.”
“Please, like you really want to get rid of me,” he teased, gesturing to the pile of papers in front of you, “Then you’d be miserable and heartbroken and, even worse, have to actually finish your trig homework. Besides, I enjoyed it.”
Your eyes brightened up at this, and you could tell he noticed, “Don’t look so surprised, Y/N. Your taste isn’t that bad… I mean, you hang out with me don’t you?”
“For some reason, yes,” you pretended to grumble, feigning ignorance of the butterflies in your stomach at his usual smug smile, “But you really liked it?”
He sat down in the seat opposite you now, pulling the book from his bag and slamming it down in front of you, “Well, I have notes of course.”
You rolled your eyes, at which he couldn’t help but laugh, “Hey, it wasn’t terrible. I did say I enjoyed it… Some of the notes are nice.”
“Oh yeah, I’m sure.”
“You wound me,” Jess feigned a pout, “Romance isn’t usually my genre and you know that.”
“Of course. Hemingway fanboy is too cool for my sappy romantic books, huh,” you joked, heart still racing wildly at the notion he’d even started reading it, let alone finished it.
“Pfft. Austen fangirl should be less rude and give more Hemingway a try, I say,” he quipped back, tongue in cheek.
“Hey, I like Hemingway,” you shook your head, “I just don’t go to bed and jerk off over how great I think he is like you so obviously do.”
He shook his head and pulled a face that faked shock, “And how much time in the day, on average, would you say you spend thinking about what I jerk off over, huh?”
“You are such an ass,” you tutted, swatting his arm, “Approximately none, thank you very much.”
“Whatever you say, princess.”
“Anyway, if you’re done being gross, let’s get back to the important thing here. You read my book,” You reached to pull the book towards you, only for him to snatch it back and rest his elbows on it.
You furrowed your brows at him, “What’ve you got to hide in there?”
His eyes narrowed, his lip between his teeth now as though he was thinking hard about something.
“C’mon, Mariano,” you leaned forward, “I assumed that since you brought the book with you, I’d get to see at least some of your notes.”
His fingers were picking at the edges of the book’s cloth sleeve, his toes drumming on the floor anxiously like they’d recently begun to do more often when he was around you.
He heaved out a deep sigh, “Look. I’m going to give you this, and then I’m gonna leave the diner, alright? And then, and only then, you can open this book up, and you can read what’s in there. And if you never see me again it’s ’cause I’ve died of embarrassment or something. Got it?”
You rolled your eyes, chin on your palm.
He slid the book in your direction now as you watched him swallow thickly and cocked your head to the side like a curious puppy, “Ever so cryptic, aren’t you?”
“You’ll figure it out, Miss Marple.”
With that, he rose to his feet and darted out of the diner before you could even say another word.
You briefly made eye contact with Luke behind the counter, who watched you carefully for a moment before looking down at the book now carefully clutched between your fingers.
You wasted no time then, pulling open the book and desperately skimming for whatever the hell he was talking about.
You weren’t sure what on earth you expected to find when you flicked through its pages, but it most certainly wasn’t a plethora of sticky tabs with scrawled notes on about how the protagonist reminded him of you.
You expected even less, then, to find a note in Jess’ handwriting at the very back of the book declaring that he realised halfway through — when the two love interests whose relationship bore a crazy resemblance to your own, realised that they were in fact in love — that he’d been stupid to deny that he even liked you, let alone that he’d quite obviously fallen stupidly in love with you.
Shock coursed through you, your heart racing at the uncharacteristically romantic and yet somehow still so incredibly Jess gesture.
You stood up, almost knocking over your chair as you placed the book under your arm and turned to leave, “I’ll be back—uh, soon.”
Luke nodded, “Go get him kiddo.”
You smiled, butterflies whirling in your stomach as you left the diner almost as quickly as Jess had just minutes ago.
You knew exactly where you’d find him — perched on the bridge swinging his feet and letting his mind convince him you wouldn’t in a million years feel the same.
When he heard the sound of your footsteps approaching, you saw him clench his eyes shut as if in hope that he was imagining you and that you’d soon disappear.
“You can’t confess your love for me and then run away, Jess,” you bit your lip as you teased him softly, “It’s not fair not to give me a chance to say it back properly. You do get bonus points for how much of a romance novel cliché that move is, though.”
He sighed, a deep heavy sigh of relief, and it was as though suddenly he reverted to his usual self, “Technically the book confessed my love for you, actually. And the window for reciprocating hasn’t quite closed yet. I’m all ears, pretty girl.”
You loved this.
You loved how easy things always were for you with Jess.
Everything that went unspoken still never went unsaid — sure, you’d been flirtatious friends for a while now, uncertain of quite how seriously he reciprocated your feelings, but deep down you always sort of knew.
You loved that ever since he’d come to Stars Hollow, he’d shown that he cared in his own silly little ways.
And he loved you.
And you loved him.
You sat down at his side, still clutching the book tightly as he finally looked across at you with a small smile.
“You’re such a romantic, huh? I didn’t know you had it in you,” you nudged his side teasingly, “But I— Jess I do love you, and I’ve probably loved you for a long time even though I didn’t want to let myself admit it.”
“Wow, okay Mr Darcy… Wait ‘til Luke hears that the real reason you’ve only just told me that is because you think he’s embarrassing,” he mocked, but you felt him shuffle closer, “I’ve definitely loved you for longer than I thought I had too, if it makes you feel any better.”
“Much better, Miss Bennet,” you laughed, linking your arms and leaning against his shoulder as he pressed a small kiss to the top of your head.
You felt Jess’ chest rise and fall as you closed your eyes and let the sound of the stream beneath you wash over you.
“So, like, I don’t know the protocol with the whole ‘best friends to lovers’ trope like you do, so you’re gonna have to help me out here,” Jess chuckled.
You sat back up to look at him whilst still keeping hold of his arm, “Hmm, I think what’s meant to happen next is you kiss me and ask to take me on a real date. Pretty sure that’s right.”
“Right, everyone’s favourite cliche moment,” Jess rolled his eyes jokingly but cupped your face with his palms, “God, what have you done to me?”
“You looove me,” your response was muffled as he pressed his lips to yours to shut you up, at first gently and then with a touch more urgency.
When you pulled away, he let go of your face and smiled softly, “So about that date?”
“You got it, Mariano,” you grinned, kissing him quickly once more as you paused, “But you’re going to have a tough time doing anything as romantic as annotating my favourite book and writing me a love note, you know.”
He scoffed, “Oh I’ve got plenty more where that came from, Y/N.”
“Is that a threat?” you giggled, leaning back into his side.
“Just you wait and see.”
———
ok so i kinda lost my way with this a bit eventually and i’m sorry it’s quite short but i had sooooo much fun writing it. i love jess so fucking much and i’m so grateful for all the jess requests i get — trying v hard to work through them asap because it’s so fun.
thanks for reading! here’s my masterlist for more <3
#jess mariano x y/n#jess mariano#jess mariano x you#jess mariano imagines#jess mariano imagine#jess mariano x reader#gilmore girls#gilmore girls imagines#gilmore girls imagine
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How would the ROs rate their own attractiveness? Like do they consider themselves attractive?
Huh, good question!
Blade: he is distantly aware that other people/society in general considers him to be good-looking in some capacity. (By Ket standards, he and Gladius both are considered to be blessed with markedly good looks, but almost in a 'pretty boy' kind of way. Gladius is considered like stunningly beautiful while Blade has more of 'effortlessly hot' aura). So he would say other people probably think he's "above-average" in looks (but he also believes it to be more of a muscularity/strength thing than things like his facial features. Like women, if they do find him attractive, probably think so because he looks like a strong provider LMAO). But he himself doesn't think about his own attractiveness or appearance beyond what good hygiene and proper presentation dictate... he hardly spares himself a glance in the mirror most days. As you can tell by his haircut choices
Trouble: he considers himself to be average in looks, neither particularly handsome or particularly ugly, just exactly in the middle of the road! If asked to describe his own attractiveness in more detail, he'd probably say something like, "I clean up okay. I'm a decent-looking working-class guy? *shrug* I don't think anyone would be mad if I showed up at their doorstep with a bouquet of flowers, but artists aren't swooning over my cheekbones, either"
Tallys: Tallys considers herself to be a good-looking woman, probably an 8 if we're using a scale, a 9 if she put more effort into being conventionally beautiful (doing things like growing out her hair (!), using makeup or perfume, dressing well, etc.). She's confident in her own attractiveness and doesn't find much fault with her own features or body, but she also knows that doesn't mean she's everyone's specific cup of tea, either! She just believes that, according to a general standard, she rates highly in most areas, and no one could sincerely call her ugly. It helps that she's an Elf, since most of them have a high standard of confidence when it comes to their natural beauty!
Shery: before she joined the Shepherds, she believed herself to be average or below-average, and believed herself to be "mousy": hiding behind her bangs and spectacles was not something she ever saw conventionally beautiful people doing, so she grew up thinking she was forgettable or unremarkable, though not necessarily ugly or outright unattractive. Just sort of "plain." However, since joining and noticing that there are people who seem to compliment or even crush on her, she's since come to tentatively revise that opinion and thinks she could probably be considered "cute" by some people's standards, but she still thinks that her personality makes it hard for anyone to really notice her or become completely enthralled by her... so she would say she's probably like a 6 or 7 by looks alone, which she's content with!
Riel: as like a work of art or a painting (so judging by pure aesthetics alone, devoid of other considerations), he believes he rates around an 8 just going by the symmetry of his facial features, his taste in clothes, the fact that he's well-groomed, but he's a bit self-conscious of how he rates in terms of desirability or sexual appeal, which is a different thing entirely (in his own mind). Like, you can admit a painting is beautiful, but you don't want to fuck a painting? In those terms, he believes he falls well below the standards of the masculine ideal, probably resting at a 5, though he believes he makes up for it in other areas (wealth, intellect, uniqueness, etc). It doesn't bother him that much, but it is something that he is aware of at the back of his mind!
Chase: He thinks he's pretty good-looking (🙄), but that the effect is best felt and supplemented by his in-person charisma, charm, aura, and general personality. This is an extremely topical/dated example, but it's sort of like how a lot of people were largely indifferent to Glen Powell going strictly by looks alone, but then they saw him acting in Twisters or Top Gun or whatever and saw his chemistry with his co-stars and were suddenly like "oh 😳" Like he needs to be seen in action to really feel attracted to him?? Anyway, Chase thinks that if you were to see a perfect painting of him in a gallery, he's good-looking enough alone to make you stop and admire him, so probably like an 8... but his magnetism in person brings that to a 10 LOL
Red: He "doesn't really think about it" (🙄)--he more spends time grooming and styling himself to his own standards rather than really fretting over what other people would perceive or rate him as, but if you really pressed up, I think he'd say he's an 8 on a good day, potentially a 9 if he were to try very hard, but he'd sort of vaguely look around at everyone else to confirm if this was an arrogant thing for him to say lol, so he's definitely not totally sure about it! There aren't too many things he finds fault with when it comes to his physical appearance or body--he's generally satisfied and content in that department--but he also would never argue he's some great show-stopping beauty or gorgeous model: he just quietly lives with the idea that most people think he's a naturally pretty handsome guy!
Ayla: this is sad, but she probably rates herself a 3, maybe a 4 on a good day. 😕 Ayla thought she dispensed with thinking about her own appearance or attractiveness long ago, having accepted the fact that most people perceived her as this ragged, scrappy loner who mostly lived on the road and was lucky if she could find a stream to wash her hair in. She never possessed a mirror and, the rare times she stayed in a room that had one, she used it to check herself over for hidden injuries or things on her back and then went on her way... and none of this really mattered to her because she spent so much of her time alone. No one was really looking at her, she wasn't looking at herself, so who cared if she looked like a half-drowned rat with her hair growing into her eyes while she shook sand out of her clothes? Since joining the Shepherds, however, her private consciousness of her appearance has naturally increased, and sometimes she can feel quite down about it (especially when faced with the elegant grace of Tallys, the feminine cuteness of Shery, or the show-stopping beauty of Lavinet). Part of being in a group that she avoided was the vulnerability of natural comparison: no one's comparing you to anyone if you stand alone, but with the Shepherds, of course that's going to happen, even if only in her own mind... Anyway, this is a lot to say that she considers herself to be below-average in attractiveness, but is filled with a sullen self-loathing and pride when she considers doing anything to try to change that fact, so she just... resigns herself to feeling that way forever, if that makes any sense!
Briony: she thinks she's cute and can edge over into pretty when she tries really hard, so she'd probably say she hovers between a 6 and a 7 on an average day? While she thinks she has advantages like her striking hair color and eyes, she has areas that she privately feels a bit insecure about: she feels her face is too round, her nose is too short, feels like she's a bit short and compact and boyish in body when she's rather be tall and leggy like Tallys or buxom and curvaceous like Lavinet, etc. etc. It's not something that really bothers her--she figures that everybody feels that way about themselves--so she's happy with being "above-average" on most days. It's only when she's crushing on somebody and isn't sure of how they perceive her that she gets really unsure and self-conscious about it, and then she really obviously throws herself into styling herself to appear more feminine!
Lavinet: don't hate her, but she definitely thinks she's a 10 LOL. This is partly due to the fact that, by Blest beauty standards, she pretty much is a paragon of desirability, and everyone in her life has treated her as if she were a 10 or even outright said so... so there's really no reason for her to think otherwise! There are always small things she would tweak if she gave any thought to it, but in general she's been very happy with her appearance and how she's been able to use it as a tool to accomplish her goals in life!
Halek: he is well aware that he's gorgeous... he wouldn't say this out loud because he knows he'd get endlessly ragged on, but he'd probably say he's a 10 LMAO, maybe 9 so as to give the appearance of some humility... It's not even something he's arrogant about, he's just like aware of general beauty standards and is like 'yeah by no choice of my own and by complete accident of birth, i happen to fit these really well? *shrug*" It's nbd... and it's part of where his bde comes from, I'm sure
#Shepherds of Haven#attractive#attractiveness#beauty standards#all characters#romance options#no halek is not an RO :') i just included him because someone will ask a follow-up!#ranking#scale#rating
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ೀ: im gonna get you back!
here you are, scrolling through your gallery at 4 in the morning. you came across photos of you and your fling— well, ex-fling, shoto. you and shoto were a fling for a few months, not really going for a relationship, until shoto broke off whatever you both had. so here you are, looking back at your memories together.
yes, shoto was only a fling, yet he was a big part of your life! not only was shoto the first man you had a "thing" with, he was also the first guy that made you feel loved!
you discard your phone to the side, not wanting to miss shoto even more. you decided to finally sleep instead, yet once you closed your eyes, the only you could think off is shoto.
the way you guys studied together, calling it a date. the way you guys cuddled after classes at his dorm. the way shoto stares at you with nothing but love. the way you borrow some of shoto's clothes. the way you'd kiss shoto's scar every time he falls asleep.
you remembered all of those as you slowly surrender to sleep. when you woke up, you went to the kitchen of the dorms, and there, you saw shoto. he looked at you, his eyes were still looking at you with love. you were confused as why he was still looking at you like he loves you, he ended it, right?
on shoto's point of view, he only ended it because he thought he wasn't ready yet. he thought he couldn't handle being in a relationship yet. but here he was, missing you. so. damn. bad.
like you, shoto would scroll through his gallery, staring at photos of the both of you. he would wear the same clothes you used to borrow, missing the sight of you wearing them. he would miss the sound of your giggles. he would miss the way your lips touched his scar. the way your forehead would crease when you're focused on studying. he missed all of those.
until, shoto finally had enough. he needed to get you back.
so when he saw you at the kitchen, he couldn't help but call out to you. "y/n.." he called. damn, how you missed the way your name rolls of his tongue.
"yeah?" you replied. you swore your heart was beating more than average!
"i.. i miss you." shoto confessed. your eyes widened as you looked at him. you just woke up for fuck's sake! how could you possibly process his confession?!
"h-huh?!" that was the only thing that came out of your mouth. shoto's mouth formed a small smile. oh how he missed that adorable sight.
"i miss you, y/n." shoto repeated. you finally processed his words and immediately looked away. what?!
"i.. i miss you too, sho." shoto's cheeks went bright pink. how he missed that nickname.
let's just say, you both ate breakfast together, sorting things out. and at the end of the day, shoto's arms were wrapped around your waist as you both cuddled in his bed.
i'm sorry, i've been ia. school's killing me.
#bnha#mha#mha x reader#bnha x reader#shoto x y/n#shoto todoroki#shoto todoroki x reader#shoto todoroki fluff#shoto x reader#todoroki fluff#shoto fluff#shoto x you
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hiii i was wondering if you could do a fic where reader and dally are at bucks drinking and having fun and reader is sitting on dallys lap while he plays poker or something with some random guys and she's just so fixated on his hands. like, she's playing around with the rings on his fingers, playing with his fingers, tracing his veins, anything. and dally being his cocky self is like "you sure do like my hands, huh doll?" and she gets all shy and clingy and stuff and after awhile they eventually go up to dallys room and cuddle (sorry if this is too specific lmao😣)
handsy - dallas winston
in which: yn just can't stop playing with dallas' fingers..and of course he notices. requested by @mattdillonwhore
a/n: no bc I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS IDEA.. i feel like dallas would def get so cocky to yn cause it's literally his nature?? also he loves to see yn get flustered or embarrassed IT'S JS SO DALLAS CODED. PLEASEE send more reqs i actually love this SO MUCH. also warning there's a lil makeout scene but nothing too crazy😋! this ff is so much shorter than my other one wtf i did not execute properly..
being at buck's was nothing out of the ordinary for you and dally on the average night. drinks getting passed around, red neon lights filling the atmosphere, the smell of cigarettes lingering in the air, it was all a regular for you and dallas.
you sat on dallas' lap as he played poker with some other guys from the town. trying to fixate on something so you wouldn't be so bored you fell asleep, your eyes landed on to dally's hands.
something about his hands attracted you..the rings on his fingers and the veins leading up to his bicep, all of it tempted you in a way. you began to just play with his rings, turning them and examining them.
and this wasn't something new either, dallas was very used to you finding interest in his rings. hell, sometimes he'd even let you wear them. not for long though.
then your eyes trailed up to his veins, slowly running your fingers over each one of them, following the path they led up to his arms. and you did this to each one, taking what seemed like mental notes in your head about his veins. which one was bigger, which one felt best, which was your favorite, and all things related.
dallas kept an intense focus on his poker game though, his bets were important to him and he hadn't really realized what you'd occupied yourself with.
that was until he shifted his attention to you for a moment, examining how you'd play with his rings and trace his veins. finally, he spoke "didn't know my hands were that interesting. you sure do like 'em, huh doll?"
your stomach dropped and cheeks flushed as you'd heard dallas. you moved your hands back onto your lap as well. "no need to be shy, it's alright. nothin' but you gettin a little handsy, can't say i don't like it doll." dallas smirked. his cockiness was apparent to you, only making you even more flustered than before. dallas' smirk only deepened, turning into a cocky grin.
"dallll" you whined, looking down at your lap. dallas let out a laugh as he raised your chin "look at me doll." he smirked. you looked at him as he pulled you into a kiss. he only deepened the kiss as you two sat there.
"hey man, get a room!" one guy from the other side of the table yelled, causing you two to split apart. "alright alright, not my fault i just wanna show some lovin' to my broad." dallas said putting his hands up in defeat. "if you're gonna suck faces then get outta here" another guy added, throwing his poker chips onto the table "hey man watch your tone with me, alright? you probably wish this was you huh?" dallas snapped back at the guys. you knew this was your queue to intervene before things got serious as the man stood up yelling to dallas a little louder.
"dal, let's just go upstairs to your room alright? he's not worth fighting for." you said to dallas, putting your hands on his chest and pushing him back. "yeah yeah, man i hate guys like that..total jerks you know? man he's lucky you stopped me, cause if not i would've-" "enough dal." you interrupted him mid sentence, sensing that he was only starting to grow annoyed.
dallas let out a huff before he'd raised his head, as if a lightbub went off in his head. "hey, now i remember why we're even up here" he said, opening the door to his room. "someone couldn't keep her hands to herself, ain't that right? ya like my hands, doll?" his new york accent rang thick as he spoke. the flushed expression had returned to your face, looking down to your feet to avoid eye contact with dallas.
"c'mere" dallas said, sitting on his mattress. you did as he said as he pulled you into his lap, immediately kissing you. the kiss became more passionate by the moment, dallas letting his hands roam around his waist as you wrapped your hands around his neck and played with his hair.
this lasted for what seemed like forever before you'd both pulled away, nearly gasping for air.
"let's go to bed dal" you said, plopping down beside him on the mattress. "yeah, y'know maybe when you sleep you'll even dream about my hands." dallas joked as he laid beside you, wrapping his arms around you. "haha very funny..night dal." you slurred before falling asleep. "night, doll." dallas replied, drifting off just as you'd done.
#dallas winston x reader#dallas winston#the outsiders#the outsiders x reader#dallas winston x y/n#dallas winston fluff#dallas winston imagine#dallas winston headcanons#the outsiders hcs#the outsiders imagine#the outsiders fic#imagine#x reader#x yn#yn#dallas x yn#winston#winston x yn#winston dallas#dally winston#dally x reder#dally x yn#the outsiders ff#the outsiders fluff#locoformatt
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☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 16
Jason Todd x (f)Chubby!Reader
written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, will probably get NSFW later, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!
warnings/labels: suggestive content, little bit of angst, and fluff wc: 2.5k
A/N: sorry for the unprecidented delay in updates! Life got in the way and then I got sick and lost a whole day of writing. 😥
Chapter Selection
🦇BatFam Group Chat🦇
Dick: So Jaybird, how'd she take it?
11:02am
Jason: … I didn't tell her yet.
11:08am
Steph: WHAT??? 😰
11:09am
Tim: 😐 … Do you think a better moment is forthcoming?
11:11am
Jason: You really want to talk to me right now, replacement? After the shit you pulled?
11:12am
Steph: ???
11:13am
Jason: HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID!
11:14am
Dick: Ok, ok! Look, this doesn't have to be a big thing. Just tell her, it'll be fine!
11:15am
Damian: Do not lie, Grayson. It is a big thing, and Todd is not so stupid that he will think otherwise.
11:17am
Babs: You really should tell her soon, Jay.
11:20am
Jason: … Well when is Tim telling Bernard, huh?? They've been dating longer than we have, how is it not Gang Up On Tim Day??
11:22am
Tim: Yeah, I told Bernard. … And he already knew. 😬
11:23am
Dick: … We're gonna discuss that later. Right?
11:26am
Tim: Report's already in the Batcomputer.
11:27am
Babs: … Seriously, Tim??? O.O ????
11:32am
Tim: Hey, hey! Can we get back to Gang Up On Jason Day?
11:33am
Jason: No! I'm working on it, leave me be!
11:36am
Steph: … Given how she handled everything yesterday, what's the issue? Do you think she won't be able to take it?
11:40am
Jason: That's not it at all! … With her I get to be a normal guy. And the second I tell her, that goes away, for both of us
11:41am
Damian: … Granted, I have very little experience with women, but I do think that if she wanted normal, she would have bowed out the second she realized she was talking to a Wayne.
11:43am
Dick: Or when B showed up at the diner
11:45am
Babs: Or when Damian showed up at her apartment
11:46am
Cass: Or after sitting through a dinner with all of us.
11:47am
Jason: 😒 None of you are any help at all
11:50am
After the gala, Jason became determined that I should know how to defend myself. I was incredibly uncomfortable with going to the gym with him, but after a week of assurances he had me at least partially convinced me that no one would bat an eye at me there.
Once he had the green light, he jumped into action. He took me out to get some workout clothes, and we started going to the gym together once a week. I, like most every Gothamite, had taken self defense classes as a kid, so we started with some flexibility improving stretches, strength building, and making sure I still had a grasp on the basics. Every week we trained for a few hours, and Jason would take me out for dinner after.
I would never have expected it, but I actually started to look forward to our gym days. Jason was his most cuddly after training, especially when he was particularly excited about some progress I made. Every time I got a hit in, or blocked one of his, he would beam like the sun itself. The first time I caught him by surprise and kicked him to the ground he actually scooped me up in a bear hug, cheering for the whole gym to hear.
And what's more; his work was so sporadic that it was hard to predict if and when he'd be called away on the average day. He did his best to avoid it when we had plans, but sometimes he just had to go in. But he made arrangements with someone who worked for him so that our gym days were our days, so they very quickly became the day every week where I was guaranteed his undivided attention.
It was all so delightfully domestic. We would spend the night before together, just cuddling though he was slowly getting used to me touching him more. In the morning we made breakfast and ate together in bed. We'd go for a ride on his bike, see what was new at our favorite used book store, have lunch and a walk around the park, and head to the gym. After training we would take quick showers in the locker rooms and bring some take-out home. Sometimes we'd fall asleep in each other's arms, but if he had an early morning at work he would tuck me in with a kiss and head home to get some sleep.
Damian started coming over once in a while as well; as we had discussed, he would text me that he was on his way first. Somehow he never tried to come over when I was at work, and he avoided gym day too. But his visits didn't always correlate with Jason's. Sometimes it was just the two of us, and on those days he slowly started to open up. He would do homework at my kitchen table while I made dinner, we'd play video games or watch movies, and eventually the manor would send a car to take him home. He always grumbled that I didn't need to walk him out, but I wasn't about to let him out of my sight in my neighborhood, and he didn't protest past that.
Eventually he started leaving a set of casual clothes at my apartment. I took him to the cafe down the block, let him pick out snacks at the corner store, and one day we took the bus to the local craft store. He bought a dozen craft kits; crystal growing, shrinky dinks, window decals, little figurines to paint, even a candy making kit. They only made an appearance on days when Jason had to work, and Damian always looked so sweet and relaxed while we played with them, and every time he made me promise not to tell anyone. I wasn't sure what was so bad about his family knowing he played with age appropriate toys, but I always assured him that no one had to know if he didn't want them to. The crafts were always carefully packed away when we were done and tucked into a nondescript box in my hall closet.
Steph, Tim, and Dick all found me on Waynebook, and eventually Steph invited me to join girl's night. That Tuesday I found myself at Babs' apartment with her, Cass, and Steph, watching a movie, eating pizza and popcorn, and painting Steph's nails for her. Dick started sending me memes and safety reports from my neighborhood. I wouldn't even hazard a guess why he was so up to date on my area's crime reports, but I did appreciate the heads up. Tim didn't send me many messages, usually just letting me know when Bruce had been trying to get Jason to bring me by again, but he definitely stalked my profile since he liked a picture from my high school graduation. His stalking tendencies were starting to amuse me more than anything else, so I didn't mention it to Jay. Anything that strained their already turbulent relationship felt like unnecessary information.
Jason took me to see an outdoor showing of the 2005 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. He packed a picnic dinner for us, making sure all my favorite foods were available, and brought several blankets and pillows. He held me close and whispered in my ear, quoting along with Mr. Darcy when he confessed his love to Elizabeth; “you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on...”
It was an unusually peaceful day in Gotham; the kind of day that makes the hard ones worth powering through. We drove back to my place with the windows down. I didn't notice when Jason's mood shifted, but I did notice his hands trembling as he unpacked the picnic basket, and him glancing at me next to him. I set a hand over his, frowning slightly; “... Honey?”
“Hm?” He swallowed hard. “Y- yeah?”
“Are you ok?”
“Course. … Course I’m ok, doll.” He smiled softly, kissing my forehead.
“Cause you’re squirming like something’s wrong…”
“No, no! Nothing’s wrong, baby, honest. … Sorry, I just … I wanted to …” He frowned, taking a deep breath. “... We’ve been together for a while, and I … was thinking we could try something tonight?”
I blinked a bit, nodding slowly; “Oh? What did you want to try?”
“...Um … can we … push the comfort zone a bit?” He refused to look me in the eye, blushing bright red. I bit back the urge to giggle at how cute he was being, squeezing his hand instead.
“That could be fun~ … but if anything pushes back-”
He nodded quickly. “We’ll take it slow. And I’ll tell you if I need to stop, promise.”
I nodded, cupping his cheek; “very good. Then, how would you like to proceed?”
“Um … well, … I really like kissing you … I was thinking … maybe we could kiss some more places?”
I nodded, crossing my wrists behind his neck. His hands rested on my hips, stroking in small circles. “That sounds nice. You want lights on or off?”
“... Off will help.” He nodded slowly. “Is that ok?”
I nodded; “of course. Changing one variable at a time is always best practice, right?”
“Oh god…” He chuckled, holding me close. “What is this, some kind of science experiment?”
“I mean, we are experimenting, and it’s not not science - it’s biology and chemistry and psychology, and probably a bit of neurology.” I giggled, leaning in more. “I think the only thing we’re missing is the part where you have to write stuff down for it to be science. … So unless there’s something you’d rather be doing, I guess we could start writing out some lab reports …”
“... You know what, you little dork?” He scooped me up, tossing me casually over his shoulder, and began walking toward the bedroom.
“Woah!” I gasped sharply, giggling; “what?! What’s going on?”
He kicked the door closed behind him and laid me on the bed, leaning over me a bit, his hands trapping me between them on the bed. “I’m going to show you what I’d rather be doing … i- if that’s ok?”
The demanding tone he'd used was making me tingle all over. I bit back a giggle at the cautious way he ended the sentence, nodding quickly. “Sounds good to me~”
I could see a bit of his face in the light from the window, enough to see his eager grin as he dipped down, capturing my lips with his. I cupped his cheek, kissing back hungrily. He moaned softly, pressing his knees to the mattress on either side of my hips. I ran my hands through his hair as he slowly pulled away from my lips, kissing along my jaw to nibble gently on my earlobe. I gasped sharply, shivering at the contact, and he moved on to kiss down the side of my neck.
His lips slowly trailed from my throat down to my collarbone, placing gentle kisses there. “Is this … still ok?”
I panted softly, whimpering, and nodded. “Yeah~ yeah, this is … ooooh Jay~ this is amazing~”
He grinned against my chest, kissing more. His hand slowly made its way to my side, and his fingertips slid under my shirt a bit. “And … this?” He slid his hand a little further.
I shivered hard and nodded. “ohh god, yes~”
His hand caressed my curves as he kissed and gently nipped at my collar. I quickly found myself squirming under him, whining a bit; “yes~ … j- just like that, Jay~”
I squirmed a bit as he explored my soft tummy, pressing his hands into my sides to hold me close. His lips slowly made their way a bit lower, and a bit lower, until they were at the neckline of my shirt. Jason looked up at me, stroking my sides gently.
“Can … um … can I …?” He slid my shirt up ever so slightly.
I nodded quickly, shifting to help him remove it. He tossed it aside and began kissing my cleavage again. His hands fondled and caressed more, making their way up to my breasts. He licked and nibbled there, squeezing gently.
“Ohh fuck~ Jay~”
He groaned softly, nuzzling against me. He nibbled more, holding me close. “Fuck, you're incredible, doll~”
He fondled me more, kissing all over. I panted softly, gently tugging his hair. He purred at that, nipping more. I gasped softly, tugging his hair a bit. “Ow... G- gently, Jay…”
He froze, slowly pulling back. “I … I'm sorry, … I … fuck!” He pushed off the bed, backing up until he was against the wall. He stared at me, wide eyed, as I sat up.
“Take a breath, Jay. It's ok, I'm not hurt. Your teeth are just sharp.”
He took a deep, shuddering breath, and slowly nodded. “... I … I'm sorry …”
“It's ok, baby.” I held a hand out to him. He slowly walked over to me, letting me pull him down to sit next to me. I stroked his back, kissing his shoulder. “Relax, it's ok~”
“It's not. … I hurt you…”
“Well, mostly you startled me. And when I said ‘ow’ you stopped.”
He sighed softly, burying his face in his hands. “... I … I hate this … I … I don't know how to do this…”
“What do you mean?”
“... I think ... After everything I’ve been through … everything I’ve done … this isn’t what my body is built for … I can cause pain, I can take pain … I don’t know what to do with … pleasure. I don’t know how to give you pleasure. And I don’t deserve to receive it…”
I frowned deeply; “... My love, … you are so incredibly strong, and it’s true that you can take an inordinate amount of pain. But you are not meant for pain. Someone as kind and gentle and caring as you deserves to experience joy, and love, and pleasure.”
“... I don’t know how.” he shuddered, staring into his lap. “... But I want to … I want us to get to be happy together … I want to be able to pleasure you …”
I nodded slowly, chewing on my lower lip a bit. “... Jay, … how did you get so good at fighting?”
“… Years of training?”
A grin slowly spread across my face as I reached out for his hand. He let me take it, squeezing once. “Exactly. Someone who knew how to fight showed you how it was done. They had you practice punches and kicks, taught you how to shoot, right?” He nodded, slowly looking toward me. “... So why don’t we do this the same way?”
“... What do you mean?”
I cupped his cheek, purring; “you’re teaching me to defend myself. If you’ll let me, I will teach you about pleasure.”
A shuddering gasp ripped through him, and his lower lip trembled a bit as he slowly nodded, leaning into my hand more; “... Y- yes. … Yes, I want that. I … I want to learn. … Please, teach me.”
Next ->
Divider by: @saradika-graphics
Taglist (open): @jawdropforkpop @krys0210 @snowy-violet @superthoughts @wordsfromshona @mystic60 @iwannabealocalcryptid @morstuavitamea-a @frosty--giants @arisa191 @prized-jules @phoenix666stuff @dinonuggysandhuggus @anuttellaa @whore-of-many-hot-men
#fanfic#fanfiction#dc fanfic#dc#jason todd#red hood x reader#jason todd x reader#first person pov#wayne family adventures#no y/n#multi chapter fic#Can I Get Your Number?
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Ari, if you feel like it, I desperately need you to elaborate on Alpha!Nanami....
referencing this post
gender neutral reader, no curses au.
cw for dubcon bonding (bc of heat)
jaskdksdj im not like. a nanami girl but i think the idea of average salary worker nanami who is an alpha is super funny and very in line especially because i think he really goes out of his way to hide it.
like. he really doesn't enjoy anything about it contrary to popular belief. the ruts exhaust him and he doesn't like being treated different as a result of his secondary sex so at his job, i think he hides his status and lives as a beta for the most part.
in my head - he ends up meeting you at his work. you don't work like... for his department. you're in like IT or some similarly isolated position at his workplace and he just. KNOWS. right away. it's so bothersome for him KDSJF
not only does he not like the idea of having a fated pair (guy who believes love is a choice etc etc) but he also finds you being his co-worker sooooo awful. he just finds the whole thing troublesome.
for an omega, you have an extremely blase and frank personality. nanami brings his work computer to you and you're new to the department or something. and as you both come to the realization that you're each others fated pairs - you barely react. nanami is in distress and you're just like 'oh? you're my pair huh?' AND THEN GO BACK TO YOUR WORK WITHOUT A SINGLE COMMENT.
and like. nanami is so confused he ends up going back to his desk. but like. that's definitely something you should talk about right? he barely knows your name and number so he goes back determined to at least find out your name. once he gets over the shock of having a fated pair he like rlly takes a second to notice you
AND IT STRESSES HIM OUT!! he invites you to lunch and asks you to tell him about yourself since he's a super responsible guy and you talk a sloths pace and you're entirely too nonchalant about everything. you don't wear scent patches as an omega, you're not really on any medications either, your heat is irregular, you don't think of yourself as an omega at all, you skip meals. every detail stresses him out more and more.
a lot of people mistake nanami for being the kind of person who like. really willingly wants certain dynamics and i dont view that as true. for him, encountering you as the disaster you are is the first time in his life he feels like he is an alpha and he means that in the worst way possible KDJSFJKS. like you stress him out so much he's like FUCK. i need to get their shit together or IM gonna get stressed out.
so nanami ends up spending a lot of time with you mostly just trying to sort your life out for you but he finds that.... you're very? relaxing to be around? nanami at one point feels like he lives to work and doesn't work to live imo.
but you're not like that. nothing seems to really bother you. you're like... an adorable unconcerned sloth. and sure you could be a little more conscious but it really relaxes him to hear you talk because you view everything very simply and don't worry about whats not in your control if you don't have too. and you're weirdly, crazy endearing when you show expressions other than sleepiness or boredom.
you like. weirdly melt his stress away. he finds you so soothing to be with and it's his first time really feeling like he's acting on instinct because he gets rlly gradually possessive as he realizes how attractive you are an omega. there are probably a lot of other alphas who would kill to be with someone as comfortable by as you
he becomes soooo fond of you its genuinely very scary for him. like as you get closer in your relationship and the distance closes - you end up snuggling him on his couch and he's so content and he ends up scenting you like some kind of overexcited teenager because you are so STUPIDLY cute like that. you sometimes even tease him about it and that is sooo bad for his heart.
he kind of loses control around you dkjskj. when he bites your nape for the first time, its because you've gone into heat and he loses his mind because fuck you smell so good and you are so cute when you are begging for his fucking knot that he ends up fucking you with your arms pulled back and digging his teeth into your nape until you're all cozy again.
once your heat passes he literally prostrates himself in front of you after the fact. ITS SO FUNNY DFKJS. he drops his head down to the floor bc its sooo out of character for him. in very you fashion though, you sort of shrug and tell him "im glad you're my fated pair, nanami-san. you're a good alpha," and he just. implodes internally. he's thinking about how to get married like days after and he's so seriously in love with you even though he's still kinda stoic
to him you're like. the only good thing that comes out of him being an alpha LOL
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about Terzo's height...
while i LOVE LOVE LOVE short king Terzo (as a short king myself), he might actually be the tallest brother and the implications are SO FUNNY.
so the idea of short king Terzo seems to have gotten really popular because of the clip from Unholy / Unplugged in Los Angeles where he says:
"Now look... people have had the decency to comment on the fact that without my hat being on, I'm a little bit, uh... short." Los Angeles, CA (Unholy / Unplugged, 2015)
but the thing is, he says that right before he raises the microphone. he was joking about the fact that, at all of the Unholy / Unplugged shows, the mic stand was set way too low for him.
in Baltimore and Phoenix he makes it more clear:
"But these last couple days, I've come out... you've noticed me not wearing a hat. Some people have noticed that, 'He's a little bit shorter than I thought!' [...] But what has happened a couple days in a row now is that I come out and the microphone is like, [gestures at chest height] about here. I'm not that short!" Baltimore, MD (Unholy / Unplugged, 2015)
"Now... we've got a fundamental problem here. [...] It is my– what people expect my height to be. Yes, I will– I will agree that myself without hat is not very, uh... imposing. But I am a little bit taller than this." Phoenix, AZ (Unholy / Unplugged, 2015)
the joke was that people were assuming he was much shorter than he actually was.
he doesn't appear to be super short! if you consider every Papa to be the height that they are in real life, they'd all be the same height as TF (about 5'8" / 173cm) due to the fact that they are all played by him. BUT there have been occasions when two Papas have been present at the same time: during the coronation ceremonies. in Secondo's coronation, he's shown to be about the same height as Primo. and in Terzo's coronation, he's shown to be MUCH taller than Secondo.
Metal Myths: Ghost pt. 2 (April 2022)
Metal Myths: Ghost pt. 2 (April 2022)
Youtube Video
so Terzo might be the tallest brother. he is still insecure about his height, though.
"Is there a sound engineer here? Hello. Could you please give me a little spooky reverb. Just a slight. I need to sound taller than I am." Brooklyn, NYC (Unholy / Unplugged, 2015)
not so insecure that he can't joke about it, but he will joke about it and then remind you that he's not that short!
and Terzo wanting to be taller seems so in-character for him. for the pursuit of better, y'know? hahaha
obviously, he's not a very tall guy either. he's a little short. just a little below average. he's a perfectly normal height, but he seems to have become more insecure about it because he has a reputation for being short, and every time people see him in person they're like "huh. you're taller than i thought you'd be!" and he's like "wtf?? uhhh. thanks???? 🤨😓"
i genuinely think it's sooo so so so funny that the fandom does this to him too LOL.
for the record: the thing about Terzo allegedly being 4'9" is totally fake. there are no sources for that. and i hate misinformation, so i will not stand for people spreading that as if it's canon. that said, if you headcanon Terzo being 4'9" anyway, i think you're incredibly based and that rules actually–
again, i love short king Terzo and i accept all headcanons!! i just think this particular angle has not been explored a lot and it is simply hilarious to me.
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Photo Booth Kissin' {P.P.}
summary: Peter's an awkward loverboy, but he's your awkard loverboy.
warnings: none i think just fluff :3, TASM!Peter Parker x reader hehe, no use of y/n, reader is kinda like super girly w the bows and sparkles idk
a/n: I HAVENT WRITTEN IN MONTHS SORRY here tho!
Peter’s life was boring—peaceful, but boring. Don’t get him wrong; being Spiderman is cool and all, but Peter Parker’s life could use some work. The most exciting thing that has happened to him recently was the time he got two yolks in one egg. Riveting stuff, right?
During another one of his literature classes that he doesn’t know why he took, he spots you. With a bow in your hair and a knit sweater falling over your figure, your head propped on your manicured hand while scribbling notes with the other. You sit in front of him and if Peter squints, he can see the small doodles littering the pages. Before he knows it, the professor announces that the lecture is done for the day. Peter panics; he wants to talk to you before you disappear and turn out to be a dream, but what would he even say? Doesn’t matter anymore since he chases after you to the door.
“Hey,” he says, looking a tad flushed after tripping over someone's water bottle.
“Oh, hi” you respond, your eyes a little widened at the sudden interaction.
“I, uh, I’m Peter” he say, sticks out his hand for you to shake. You take it and tell him your name. He repeats it in his head about a hundred times.
“I just, uhm, wanted to ask about…” he trails off, trying to remember if there were any assignments given. “The essay he said we had to do, yeah. When is it due again?” he hopes to any higher being that there was an essay due soon.
“Ah, yeah, it’s due next Monday” you reply, giving him a tight-lipped smile, ready to go back to your dorm.
“Cool, uhm, thanks! See you around, hopefully” with that, he bolts, leaving you confused and flushed. Hopefully
The cute boy in your class wants to see you around.
╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯
Two days later, Peter sees you again. It’s in the same class, and you’re as pretty as ever. He psyches himself up to sit next to you.
You look up from your laptop when he asks you if he can sit next to you. You nod, of course, and smile. He looks nervous, with fingers tapping on the table and cheeks a little red. It’s cute.
“Have you started on that essay?” you ask, trying to start conversation since it looks like he won’t.
“Huh? What essay? We have an essay?” he turns to face you, eyes wide.
“Yeah, the one you asked me about?” you laugh a little.
“Oh, no, I didn’t” his shoulders slump back down, and you smile at him.
“I didn’t either; I had other work to finish” he stares at you a little; it’s flattering, really. How shy he is around you. He barely knows you, but he’s convinced himself that you’re the greatest thing ever. He also may have looked up your instagram and fallen even harder as he looked at all your posts. Peter now knows what you ate at Thanksgiving 3 years ago.
“Same, I’m in STEM so you could imagine” he says, resting his head onto the table. Sleep deprivation a thing he is well acquainted with, unfortunately.
“STEM, wow, you must be smart then. Why’re you taking a classic lit class then?” Sure, you might’ve slipped in a compliment; it's not a crime to flirt a little. It takes Peter a few seconds to respond as he processes what you said, you think he’s smart.
“Uh, I was going through a phase with classic lit at the time, and I’ve been lazy to drop it. And, uh, I’m not that smart—pretty average actually. Like the most moderate person ever” He’s rambling and kind of lying. He’s doing really well in his other classes.
“Yeah? I think you’re pretty smart if you’re in STEM. Not everyday a guy is both pretty and smart.” His cheeks turn even redder, if possible, and he makes a sort of out of breath sound. “If you need any help with this class, I’d be happy to give you my notes on the book”
Jesus, you’re gonna kill the poor boy.
╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯
From then on, you sit beside him and throw in some flirty comments while he struggles to reciprocate. It feels too good to be true, how you seem interested in him and how you eagerly talk to him after lectures, even giving hm your number to talk about “class”. He’s waiting for the day you ghost him.
“Hey, would you maybe want to, like, hang out? Like on a date or something? Or just as friends! Actually, yeah, just hang out as friends; forget I said date sorry,“ he flounders, waiting for the rejection. Oh God, he’s just messed up the whole friendship and you’re gonna think that he’s weird and a creep and-
“I’d love to go on a date, Peter,” you smile “I was waiting for you to ask.”
“Oh, great, is Saturday at 3 okay? I’ll meet you outside your building and we could walk to that arcade?” He asks, eyes hopeful.
“Saturday at 3 is great. I love arcades, but you have to help me with the claw machines” For someone so smart and handsome, he doesn’t let himself think people like him.
“See you Saturday, Peter” you tiptoe to kiss his cheek, leaving sticky residue from your sparkly gloss and walk to your next class. He stands in place, a little starstruck and a lot flustered. He leaves the lipgloss there.
╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯
Saturday finally comes, and now it’s your turn to be nervous. You’ve switched outfits countless times, your hair is out of place, and your makeup doesn’t seem to flatter you. You’ve settled on a pretty blue dress with tights to protect you from the small chill. Two little bows clipped into your hair and knit cardigan falling over your shoulders—makeup finally looking presentable enough with maybe a little too much glitter on your eyes, but whatever. Your phone chimes as you’re applying pink sparkly gloss, and your heart skips a beat. He’s here.
You throw your phone and lip gloss in your purse and bolt out the door. You spot him outside your building, as promised. He looks wonderful. Brown sweater and worn-in denim jeans—you can’t believe he’s so shy around you when he looks like that. He finally spots you, and wow, he thinks.
“Hey," he scolds himself for being so casual when he should be whisking you away to Italy, or something. He could’ve at least gotten you flowers.
“Hi, you look great,” you say in front of him, and seeing you up close is making him fall even harder, if possible.
“You look, wow, you’re just, wow” he can’t even believe you’re into him.
“Cmon, I wanna win some plushies,” you say, grabbing his hand and pulling him along. He grips your hand harder and laces your fingers.
The walk is calm and the air is starting to get cool. You talk about class and a show you started. Peter listens intently, making mental notes about what you like and don’t like. Your hands stay intwined, and his thumb traces patterns on the back of your hand. He’s gotten more comfortable and less panicky in your presence, so you get to see his personality shine through. He’s incredibly funny. You can’t stop laughing on your way there, and he can’t stop thinking of more things to make you laugh.
The arcade is dark, with flashing lights from every game. Peter goes to buy some tokens, refusing your offer to pay half. Grabbing Peter’s hand and making a beeline for the claw machines, everyone knows they’re rigged, but you don’t care. You eagerly take the tokens and attempt to win the Kuromi plushie. After the 5th? 6th attempt? When the claw has dropped the plushie, you give up.
“Why do they do this to people! It’s false hope!” you whine to Peter as he laughs at your pout.
“Lemme try,” he nudges you over and puts in a token.
You watch with eyebrows furrowed as he wins it on his first attempt.
“What the hell, Peter?” you crouch to pull the plushie from the machine.
“What? Do you not like it?” He faces you, examining the stuffed, is she a rabbit? What animal even is Kuromi?
“I love her; just, how did you win it?” You look up at him incredulously. He must have some weird power that makes him win every claw machine.
“Oh, I don’t know; just position it right?” He laughs, his eyes crinkling in the process. You want to smooth them out with your fingers.
“Thank you!” you’re genuinely really excited over a cheap stuffed toy, not because you really wanted it, but because Peter won it for you. You wrap your arms around his neck in thanks. Peter freezes. He fees like a teenager at how he’s reacting to a hug of all things. He snaps back and hugs you back. You pull away to kiss his cheek. This is the second time you’ve kissed his cheek, and he doesn’t know how he’ll ever get used to it.
“Lets go play games, pretty boy,” pulling away and leaving Peter to gather his brain and follow along.
You watch as he plays Pac-Man; its silly, but you love his face when he’s focused. Brows furrowed and lips in a thin line. He really is the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen. And he’s infatuated with you! Of all people! You swear half the girls in the class have a crush on him, but he gets nervous around you. You play some air-hockey, which you won (he let you win), and he won you some more plushies and some candy at the infamous claw machines.
When the games get old, the two of you leave the building. The sun is setting at this point, and you’re dreading leaving him.
“Oh, look! There’s a photo booth!” you point, excitedly tugging on his arm. “We should take some pictures.” you drag him into the booth, both of your thighs squished together and his legs at an awkward angle. He feeds the machine a few bucks, and the screen starts to count down.
You put on a sickly sweet smile, scrunching your eyes while Peter smiles big with pearly white teeth on display. The second photo you lean into Peter and he wraps his arm around you, pulling your body close to his. The third photo, you go for it. You grab his face and kiss him. His hands stay in the air as the glitter on your lips transfers to his. You taste like vanilla. You pull away, a little anxious that he didn’t want it. Those thoughts get pushed away when he grabs the sides of your face and kisses you until you can’t think. His hands are warm and big covering your cheeks as his lips move against yours. You reach up to wrap your arms around his neck once more and deepen the kiss. Your lips move together in tandem as he strokes your cheeks with his thumbs, the movement comforting.
The fourth photo is blurry, and you walk out with all your lipgloss on Peter’s lips.
#tasm peter parker#tasm!peter fluff#tasm!peter x reader#tasm!peter parker x y/n#tasm peter x reader#tasm spiderman#tasm!peter imagine#tasm fanfiction#tasm peter parker x reader#tasm!peter x you#tasm!peter x y/n#peter parker
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[FIC] Past the Wit of Man (or, Bottom's Dream)
Fandom: The Sandman Pairing: Dreamling Rated: M Word Count: 3657 Tags: comedy, attempted comedy, comedy devolving into feels, identity reveal, sex worker Hob Gadling, advancing my Men In Lingerie agenda, long-haired Hob Gadling agenda, stretching timelines like taffy, Desire and Dream get along AU, but Desire is not actively in this, Dead Boy Detectives comic spoilers mentioned, miscommunication, Dream of the Endless finally uses his words, happy ending
Notes: Kudos props and huge thanks to everyone in the Mr Sadman discord who creatively interpreted a snippet I posted of something else and launched the whole idea of Hob working for a supernatural escort service; this would not exist without y'all and your beautiful brainstorming. ❤️
This fills the August monthly @dreamlingbingo prompt Identity Reveal, replacing square A2 (creature: Veela) on my bingo card
Summary: Hob is nicely settled in a new career and a new identity and does not expect to see his Stranger until 2089. The universe, apparently, has other ideas.
On AO3
~ "Your client is Dream of the Endless. He is extremely ancient and extremely powerful, an underpinning concept of the universe. Absolutely terrible about loosening up and letting himself relax."
"Don't think I'd be much good at relaxing if I was an underpinning concept of the universe either," Hob jokes, opening the profile that the Agency rep has just airdropped to his phone and thumbing through it.
The rep, a foppish vampire with curly white hair and impeccable fashion sense, arches one elegant eyebrow at him. "Apparently his most recent girlfriend dumped him quite harshly and his sibling has arranged this booking on his behalf; he's—and I am quoting here—'absolutely incompetent at managing his own happiness'."
"He knows he's been booked though, right? I'm not gonna catch the fallout because no one told him what kind of appointment this is?" It's only happened once, a prank played on a shy ace nixie by her well-meaning but ill-informed friends; all the same, Hob does not care to repeat the experience—particularly with someone potentially more dangerous.
"He is very much aware and in agreement, yes. We promised him our top companion." The rep dimples at Hob, a smile of saccharine sincerity that shows only the barest hint of fang. "And that's you, sweet Nick."
"And that's me," Hob agrees matter-of-factly, frowning at his phone, then turning it to show his guest. "No photo?"
The rep glances at the screen and makes a commiserative noise. "Oh, yes. Unfortunate, that. Cameras have a very hard time with this fellow, something to do with his general relationship to reality." His tone takes on a simpering air of great melodrama. "We were forced to use an artist's rendition instead! Tragic, really; it doesn't do him justice."
"Huh," Hob says, turning his phone back and studying the cartoony hand-drawn image. Guy looks like he's got some sort of steampunk insect for a head, dark and bolt-laden and bug-eyed, with a trunk that's strongly reminiscent of a disembodied spine. "Dream of the Endless, you said? Looks more like a bloody nightmare."
The rep gives an exaggerated roll of his shoulders, as if shrugging off his delivery duty now that it's done, and turns to leave. "Well whatever the case, an Endless is far above the average client, darling. Give him your best."
"'Course." Hob grins. "That's why you brought the assignment to me, after all."
"Just so." The Agency rep gives a lazy wave in parting and Hob closes the door, still scrolling through the profile as he makes his way to the kitchen.
"Dozens of titles and names", he murmurs, glancing through the list of them. "King of Dreams and Nightmares, alright. Contains the entire collective unconscious of every living being in. Every…universe…?" He shakes his head. "Has never taken a vacation ever. Bested Lucifer Morningstar and oversaw the reassignment of Hell—okay, wow. Billions of years old." He whistles, a long sound of awed disbelief. "Maybe I throw in a free massage for this guy; sounds like he could use it."
He shakes his head again, pockets his phone, carries on with getting breakfast together.
Bug-headed workaholic foundational concept of the universe. Won't be the weirdest client he's ever serviced.
~
It's been ten years since his stranger showed up late for their meeting and smiled so openly and named him friend. That had been their longest meeting yet, lasting all afternoon and on into the evening and it wasn't until the Inn had started closing up for the night that they wound down. His stranger had spoken briefly of the missed appointment in 1989, making clear that something at least mildly traumatic had kept him away and also that he did not wish to elaborate, and Hob had let it go. There was so much to tell of his own century past, his friend remarking with interest on a great many of his stories, and it was enough. His stranger, his friend, had come back, and they'd had a lovely long meeting. Perhaps in 2089 he would be comfortable sharing more of his own story, but even if not, Hob didn't mind. He was confident once more in the friendship he'd declared back in 1889 and willing to coax it out bit by bit, meeting by meeting. He had all the time in the world, after all.
Within a year of that meeting he'd wrapped up his teaching career, arranged for ownership of the New Inn to transfer to a 'relative' in the States who'd keep it running the next few decades, and started searching for a new career for his next identity.
He stumbled quite by accident into the broader supernatural world after being stalked by two dead teenagers helping that de Rais creep who wanted to steal his immortality. It all turned out fine in the end but opened Hob's eyes to exactly how much the supernatural had integrated into the modern world around him. And once old Hettie clued him in to the existence of a certain Service Agency catering to supernatural clients, his next career path was all but decided. What was he going to do, not seize the opportunity for fantastical sexual exploration when presented with it? Life was for living! Werewolves, vampires, sirens and fae and merfolk, the occasional ghost and even an extra-terrestrial or two; scales, feathers, tentacles, knots—Hob's shown them all a good time and earned a stellar reputation among the Agency's clientele. He doesn't plan to do it forever, but he enjoys exploring new avenues and stretching his limits and 'Nick Bottom' is the perfect persona to let him do so.
And now sweet high-priced in-demand Nick has been booked to rebound-fuck an uptight concept in humanoid form who looks like something straight out of a nightmare.
Hob can't wait to completely take this guy apart one orgasm at a time until he's a boneless puddle of satiation and send him home afterwards a brand new man.
Concept. Entity. Whatever.
~
The booking is scheduled for the following day and when the time comes, Hob is fresh and clean and set up in the Agency's most lavish suite. He's let his hair grow the last few years, sports a proper Hozier-like mane at this point, is wearing it down for this appointment. His beard is several weeks old, trimmed to artfully-scruffy perfection and well-groomed. He's lounging on the bed in a short open silk robe and a pair of lace panties that hug his hips and leave most of both arse cheeks exposed, a popular outfit in his repertoire sure to please the classiest of clients with the most discerning taste. Both pieces are a matching vibrant cobalt blue that complements his skin tone beautifully. He's wondering what fucking a concept is like, idly massaging his dick now and then to keep it primed, when finally there's a peculiar displacement of air and then a figure in dark robes with a weird spine-trunked bug-eyed head is standing in the middle of the suite. He's taller than Hob and inhumanly rail-thin; the robes plunge deep from the neckline, displaying milk-white skin without a hint of chest hair and clavicles that beg to be nibbled on. He's in profile, angled slightly away, and Hob has the distinct sense that this is a deliberate pose meant to make an impression, to instill awe and possibly fear in him.
So Dream of the Endless has a flair for drama, got it.
"Hello," Hob greets in his best breathless-and-sultry tone, rising from the bed to approach his client. He layers in a suitable amount of awe, pitching his voice toward 'smitten' with a subtle ring of sincerity to support it. "Oh, wow. You must be Dream of the Endless; I'm so delighted to get to meet you! I'll be taking care of you today; you can call me Nick."
The guy, the concept, Dream of the Endless, he goes stock-still as Hob speaks, and it's like the air in the room pauses with him. He turns, slowly, until Hob is face to face with his…oh, possibly that's a mask, then; the bug-eyed lenses are somewhat translucent in the light though Hob still can't see beneath them.
"There has been some mistake." The voice is deep and distorted through the helmet-mask, bone-rattling in an almost-pleasant way and, somehow, somewhat…familiar? "I was meant to be meeting with 'Nick Bottom'." The quotes around the name are audible.
"That's me!" Hob says, raking a hand back through his hair and shaking it to settle around his shoulders attractively, flashing his most charming smile. "At your service, love, whatever you need. I'm here to make sure you have a very good time, and—"
"Hob Gadling."
That draws him up short. He's currently Robyn Gadrin for tax-paying purposes in the outside world, but the Agency wouldn't give out his current identity let alone his true name, so how—
Hob's brain is babbling insistently about the note of familiarity in that voice and he finally lights on why as Dream of the Endless reaches up to remove his helmet.
Hob finds himself staring at the slightly-more-than-human-but-still-very-familiar face of his Stranger, his centennial touchstone, his friend.
Everything about his reality tips a little bit sideways, dominoes crashing one after the other in his brain until all that's left is that awful ringing alarm tone that features in emergency broadcast alerts on American telly.
Between them, the silence stretches awkwardly, until finally Hob breaks it, the first thing that comes to his tongue spilling out while his poor brain is still rebooting.
"Six-hundred some-odd bloody years, and this is how I learn your name?!"
~
It is five minutes later. Hob is sitting on the side of the plush bed in his short silk robe and lace panties, clutching a bottled water and seriously considering availing himself of the bar in the next room because his emotions are all over the place. His Stranger—Dream of the Endless, apparently—is seated next to him. His eyes are not the blue that Hob is used to, are fully black with actual stars winking in and out of them; it's gorgeous but uncanny. He's currently not looking at Hob, has got the weird bug-spine helmet gripped tightly in both hands. Which are still so pretty, Hob can't help noticing, his fingers longer and more spindly than normal, splayed wide around the curve of the helm, nails painted black. Or maybe not painted, maybe they just are black.
Pretty, regardless.
Not a helpful thought at this juncture.
It's not like he'd thought his Stranger was actually human, obviously, and okay yes the possibility of meeting up with him via this particular career choice had crossed his mind once or twice, might've featured in a private fantasy or two; but also he'd never seriously imagined it because it felt so entirely implausible that his prim and lofty Stranger would ever engage in something so mundane. So casual.
Apparently, Hob was wrong about that.
He's not sure how to feel about it, either.
The smooth inhumanly-pale chest on display in the plunging vee of those artfully-draped robes is also not helping anything.
His Stranger—Dream— moves slightly, glances at him with those starry eyes, flexes those pretty fingers on the helmet. "I will. Arrange. For another. To take your place, Hob, you need not—"
"Now hold on a minute," Hob interrupts, sudden direction presenting itself for his floundering emotions to flow. "What do you mean, 'arrange for another'? What's wrong with me?"
Dream, his name is Dream of the Endless, Dream looks perplexed. "Our. History—"
"Oh yes, our illustrious storied history wherein we have met all of seven times before now and, may I remind you, you took offense to my suggestion that we might be friends until you'd had time to digest it properly, yes."
"Eight."
"Eight?"
"I visited your dream, before undertaking a daunting journey from my realm to another. We shared wine. You gave a most thoughtful toast."
"I. Okay." He remembers that dream, yes; he remembers the wine that followed him out of it, and now with the knowledge that his Stranger is apparently King of all dreams and nightmares suddenly it all makes brand new sense. But he will process that later. "Eight. Still not a factor in my ability to do my job."
Mostly. It is his Stranger, after all, and it's not like he hasn't ever wanted—
"Sex would be. Awkward," Dream insists, and Hob loses it, never mind he'd half-thought the same thing until a second ago; Dream saying it makes him refute the assertion with everything he's got.
"You dare," he says, setting aside his water.
Dream boggles at him, cosmic eyes wide, mouth slightly parted.
"You. DARE. To disdain my professional services just because we know each other?!"
"Hob— "
"No. No, your booking was very clear that you were to have the very best, and that. Is. Me. So you will not be re-booking with another companion on the grounds that our acquaintance makes it 'awkward'; if you mean to partake of the services you've hired you will partake of them with me."
"My sibling."
"What."
"My sibling hired your services. Did they know—" He's half talking to himself and Hob sighs, forcefully pulling the conversation back on track.
"Yes, right; your sibling booked you and here you are. Did you want to get laid today?"
"You need not be so crude about it."
"Forgive me. Of course. Did you come here hoping to have a sensual skillful sexual experience with a stranger intent on your pleasure with no judgments or expectations placed upon you in return?" He makes a valiant effort to rein in his sarcasm. "Because I can still provide that. Minus the bit where we're not strangers."
Dream looks positively miserable, a sodden wet cat of a man in sex-appeal robes hunched on the edge of the decadently-plush bed, and there is certainly an understandable element of embarrassment to the situation but Dream is taking it so seriously. Hob is not surprised, exactly, but christ—he's more than willing to follow through never mind any feelings he may or may not want to admit to, and Dream is the one who'd agreed to the booking in the first place. You'd think he could handle this hiccup with a little more grace.
"It was my intent to. Do, as you say," Dream says at last, and Hob sighs.
"Is that still what you want, then? I promise I'll take good care of you." He's actually really warming up to the idea, not that he was cold to it to begin with. It's his Stranger after all. He's been willing to say yes for centuries. "They really did book you the best, and I would love to show you how well-earned my reputation is—"
"Hob—" Dream sounds pained, gives an artfully-dramatic shake of his head. "My wants are. Manageable. If no one else is available. I cannot simply engage with you so frivolously—"
Hob leaps up from the bed, stalks a frustrated few steps away and whirls back, spreads his arms. "Am I not appealing to you, Dream of the Endless?" He tosses his head, shakes his hair back, gestures at the blue silk and lace that he knows looks absolutely spectacular on him. "Would you like me to change clothes? I have a dozen more ensembles I'd be happy to put on if you'd rather peel me out of one of those. Would the Prince of Stories prefer roleplay? Golden-age pirate, biker bad boy, Mr. Darcy or Elizabeth, cowboy, librarian, Starfleet officer—I'll dress however you like." He's fired up, he's…it feels like anger but it's more like alarm; he is absolutely not about to let a colleague fuck HIS Stranger if Dream's looking to unwind. Not with all the thoughts he's entertained the last couple centuries, not when Dream is looking so entirely miserable about the whole experience. Hob wiggles his bare toes in the plush carpet, forcing a deep breath; he is jealous and possessive and protective all at once and has no idea how to safely navigate this storm to get Dream what he wants without pissing him off.
"Your…clothing becomes you greatly, Hob." He's sneaking a glance as he says it, like he's not allowed to look but can't help it. "Your clothing is not at issue."
"Then what is?" Hob rakes a hand back through his hair, frustration fizzling, careening toward concern. "If you're truly that put off by me, I'll let it go. But you're here, for sex, which you did say you wanted; this is my job and I'm good at it and you clearly need—" Someone to take care of you, he'd nearly said, and while Dream has been giving him so much leeway in this conversation he thinks that might be one straw too much for this particular camel's back.
Nice to know he appreciates Hob's hairy chest and his dick in blue lace, though.
Dream levels him with a look that almost puts him right back to 1889, and Hob has half a second to start panicking before Dream closes his eyes, draws himself up, sets his bloody weird helmet on the bedside table with a soft leathery clunk. When he opens his eyes again, they are resolute, resigned, the eyes of a man headed for the gallows despite the stars winking hopelessly in their depths.
"I do not wish to be intimate with you. When you view it as simply a job. I. Would like—but not. If it is a transaction. If I am merely a client."
Oh. Oh.
Oh shit, really?
Impossible.
Really?
"You want. You want it to mean something?" Hob is embarassed at how small his voice comes out.
Dream closes his eyes, something like shame written all over his beautiful otherworldly-pale face. "I had thought. At our fifth meeting. That perhaps there was the possibility of. Attraction, between us." He opens his night-sky eyes again, meets Hob's resolutely. "Had we not been interrupted…" He shakes his head. "I pondered the idea until next we met, anticipating the possibility of. Seeing, where we might have come to. But you named what was between us friendship, you named me lonely; I perceived your words as mockery and acted accordingly. I spent the next century with a surplus of time to wander my own thoughts. They turned to you, Hob Gadling, with regularity. As I expressed when last we met, I regret leaving our previous meeting so abruptly, so harshly. Your friendship is of great value to me. I am content to let it remain friendship, in the interest of keeping it. But I am unwilling to engage with you, who named me 'friend', as I would a lover when I have yet to fully bury the wish. That you might have been my lover in truth."
Hob is desperately trying to keep from bluescreening again and while he's focused on that, his mouth runs along without him. "You never even gave me a name, but you wanted us to be lovers?"
"I am. Aware, of how foolish my wishes—"
"No, oh no. Dream. Love." He absolutely cannot let him think that. "All you ever had to do was ask."
Dream looks at him, starry eyes full of misery with the faintest spark of hope underneath, glimmering with unshed tears. "I. Could not—"
"That was then. Water under the bridge. What about now."
Dream shivers, his more-than-human face wary and pleading and resigned all at once and the last of the fight drains out of Hob. He approaches gently, until he is directly in front of Dream on the edge of the bed again; he half straddles Dream's lap with one foot still on the floor and a bare knee sunk on the mattress beside him, threads both hands into Dream's hair behind his lovely ears, tips his pale face up.
"Ask me now. Please."
Dream's hand settles above his bent knee, a gentle, tentative touch; his eyelashes flutter, and the sound that leaves him steals Hob's breath. That hand travels softly around to grip the back of Hob's thigh, slides hesitantly higher, and then it's Hob making the helpless noise as Dream's fingertips card beautifully through his leg hair, run up beneath the short robe. Dream's spindly black-nailed hand caresses up over his exposed arse cheek, squeezes, and all the while Dream's beguiling uncanny eyes are fixed on him, wet and wondering, full of blossoming hope.
"Hob Gadling." His voice is hushed, almost reverent. "I should like to have you, as my lover. If you are amenable." His face is tipped up, so close between Hob's hands, and Hob.
Hob's shaking. He's actually trembling, pent up, a little scared; daring, as he leans down and his hair falls around them both, hoping—
He brushes his lips to Dream's.
He kisses his Stranger, his friend, his touchstone.
And Dream of the Endless, who is all of those things, kisses him back.
It's nothing like he might have imagined, and ten times as wonderful, and over before he realizes he's ended it.
"Do you mean it." His voice is breathless, the words spoken directly against Dream's mouth. It's a stupid question, in light of the entire conversation gone before and the hand still on his arse, but he can't help asking. This entire turn of events is just too good to be true.
"Yes."
But true it is, apparently, and Hob's heart soars.
"Then. Dream of the Endless. My Stranger. My friend." He presses soft kisses to those plush pink lips between each moniker, dizzy that he's allowed. "Let me add another title to the list, darling. Take me to bed; the suite is ours 'til tomorrow. Let me learn how you would have me. Let me show you how I would treat you. And let me, at long last, name you mine."
= Started: 8/21/24 Drafted: 8/27/24 Posted: 8/30/24
If you're looking for a spicier take on this concept, @delta-pavonis has you covered: Dossier 54392 - please, give it a read, it's delicious.
(and here, have a post-script-y epilogue-exchange of sorts that did not quite fit:)
= "You chose to name yourself Nick Bottom?"
"What better name for a callboy to the supernatural than the bloke who got unwittingly embroiled in a fae lovers' spat and ultimately survived the entire encounter unscathed? Feels pretty relevant to me. Empowering, a bit?"
"Nick Bottom was less 'empowered' than simply lucky, perhaps."
"Perhaps. I'll not turn my nose up at good luck, either. But a name like Bottom in this business is also too good a pun to pass up, and I figure old Shaxberd would approve."
"I believe he would, indeed."
"The irony being that fully half of my clients want me to top them, heh."
"I do not wish to speak of your clients while you are in bed with me."
"Got better uses for my mouth, have you?"
"Other sounds I would prefer to hear from it, yes."
"Fair enough. Why don't you tell me what you want, Mr. Sandman, and see if I can make your dreams come true."
"Must you be so cliché?"
"You love my clich—mmph—"
"Stop. Talking."
"Yes love."
(Dream will tell him about commissioning A Midsummer Night's Dream at some other time 💖)
= Nick Bottom's lines from A Midsummer Night's Dream that lent themselves to the title: I have had a dream, past the wit of man to say what dream it was and also The eye of man hath not heard, the ear of man hath not seen, man's hand is not able to taste, his tongue to conceive, nor his heart to report, what my dream was. I will get Peter Quince to write a ballad of this dream: it shall be called Bottom's Dream
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Fic WIP: “No One Majored In Chemistry"
“...So yes, I’m going to figure out which one of you it was.” Billy growled into his phone as he dodged and weaved through the crowd of other excited freshmen.
Bruce sighed on the other end. “Are you really saying it’s impossible that you could have gotten into a good school without one of us meddling?”
“Gee, I dunno, acceptance and a full-ride scholarship to an ivy league school I didn’t apply to, with no active requirements to keep it up? Because of my AV experience? Room and board included? UPenn has a 6.5% acceptance rate, and again, I didn’t even apply, Bruce!”
A pause. “...It was Diana. Drop out, and she might actually cry.” Then he hung up, because of course he did. Billy groaned.
Fine. It was fine. Maybe superhero nepotism had gotten him into college, maybe that meant some other, more worthy kid didn’t get a shot. He had to balance that guilt with gratitude: Because someone clearly believed in him, and that meant a lot. Ugh, he couldn’t even yell at Diana about it, you can’t just yell at Diana! Why couldn’t it have been Ollie? Half of his job was giving people someone to yell at!
He was so frustrated that he pushed the door to his dorm open way harder than he intended, and it slammed against the wall, startling the boy who had apparently gotten there first. He spun on his heels away from the window where he’d been setting up some figurines and pointed a pair of accusatory finger-guns at Billy. He looked like a Scandinavian dude, with all of the trappings: Tall, broad shoulders, long shiny blond hair, blue eyes as sharp as Tim’s but somehow much less eerie to look at, probably because he wasn’t being possessed by the ghost of a Victorian street urchin.
“Oh! Oh, hey.” He pushed some hair out of his face and flashed Billy a bright smile.
“I recommend this one, Batson.”
Billy paused. He didn’t recognize that voice, who was--Oh no. Oh no, Achilles never said anything unless he was asked a direct question, and even then--OH NO.
The guy cleared his throat. “Um…You’re Billy, right?”
Crap, I missed a dialogue cue! “Uh, yeah, yeah, sorry, weird…weird morning.” Billy quickly propped his suitcase against his bed and walked over to offer the guy a handshake, which was smoothly accepted. Billy wasn’t a little guy, 5”7 was perfectly average, but this guy--wait, what was his name?
“Yeah, totally, it’s been a weird morning. It’s nice to meet you, though! I’m Garth.”
Ah, okay. “Garth” had at least five inches on him, and that, combined with the length of the fingers and width of the palm that consumed his hand served to make average old Billy feel kind of small.
“Me…me too. Um. I mean, it’s nice to also meet you, not that I’m Garth. I don’t know you well enough to decide if I want to steal your identity yet.”
Garth let out a surprised giggle and raised an eyebrow. “...Well, I hope to prove that my credit score is worthy of being ravished.”
His smile made Billy’s eyes sting a little bit, but on a level he wondered if that was a product of every one of the degenerates in his mind (and maybe Solomon) trying to get a look at once.
“Aha, I guess we’ll see!”
Garth shook his head a little and smirked. Then his eyes flicked over to Billy’s bed. “Wait, is that your only bag?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah. I…don’t like having a ton of clothes.” It was kind of true.
Garth nodded. “Hmm. Fair enough. I’m a little bit of a…well…” He gestured to the pile of clothes on his bed. “...I like shirts.”
"Nothing wrong with that, you seem to be good at…wearing shirts.” What?
“What?”
“I dunno man, I haven’t had any coffee, the prompt was: 'Friendly compliment that is also not weird.'”
Garth laughed again and patted him on the shoulder, and it was at that moment that Billy realized that they’d just been standing in handshake range the entire time. He backed up in the direction of his bed a bit, and Garth took that as a cue to go back to unpacking while he talked.
“I’m from Gotham, my standard for weird is a little warped.”
Billy sat on the edge of his bed and quietly lamented that his feet didn’t reach all the way to the floor. “Gotham is a wild place, yeah. Probably cursed.” Literally cursed, actually.
“Yeah, yeah there’s…yeah. But imma be real, I think Fawcett is much scarier.”
How does he know I’m from Fawcett?
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, that place is a Buzzfeed unsolved video waiting to happen, I mean there’s a reason the Big Red Goober hangs out there so often, right? Magic is spooky, man.”
Billy bit his cheek. “Ah, well, you may have a point, there have been a couple weird things over the years.”
Garth let the silence ride for a beat as he put some sweaters in his closet. “Hey so, big fan of your podcast, by the way.”
Billy chuckled nervously. “How…how do you know about that?”
“How many Billy Batsons can there be?”
“Honestly? A WEIRD number.”
Garth snorted and stretched slightly to get to the top shelf. Achilles noted that his shoulder-to-chest ratio was good for archery (and other things), and Billy tried his best to ignore him. “Either way, I figured you’d be a little more braggy about getting to interview superheroes, that’s kind of good for like, street cred and shit. But I guess being a bit of a shy little guy makes sense, all things considered.”
Billy was about to defend himself against the “little guy” accusations, but Garth turned around and made eye contact again, which derailed him long enough that he lost the window, and Garth continued on.
“So, what’re you majoring in?”
“Mixed media, with a minor in journalism.” For some reason, Billy felt a little self-conscious whenever he told someone, like it was somehow unrealistic, when in reality it had been made abundantly clear to him that the concept of ‘unrealistic’ did not apply to a life like his.
Garth seemed to think it was cool, even. “Oh that’s great! Makes sense, you seem like the type to be good at all of that stuff.”
Billy fought to keep a blush down. “Ah, gee. Um, wh-what about you?”
“Pre-med and Screenwriting. Dual major.”
Billy blinked a couple times. “Wow that--”
“Yeah, yeah I know. I kinda…I kinda applied to both departments and didn’t expect to get into either, so when I got into both I kind of panicked and accepted. So. You know. It’s…I’ll be fine, I’m used to juggling plates.” He brushed some hair out of his face and tucked it behind an ear, and for the first time in the fifteen minutes that Billy had known him, Garth looked a little nervous. Only for a moment though, then it was all smiles again. “Hey, that reminds me actually…”
Billy’s eyes widened as he watched the blond cross their room to sit right next to him on his bed. “Uh, wh--”
“How are we going to do this?”
“Do…what?”
“Oh, I do like it when they’re forward.” Zeus, please!
Garth leaned back on his hands.“I have two stressful majors, my mom has been in AA since before I was born, so no drinking, and I like people. Do you see where I’m going with this?”
“Well, theater, medicine, Gotham, parental stress: You’re one rejection letter from turning into a Phantom of the Opera themed, organ-harvesting villain of the week?” Why did I say that!?
He could hear the smug satisfaction in Hermes' voice. “Just a little inspiration, for free. You’re welcome.” AHHHHHHH--
Garth laughed really hard at that one, and any cool vibe he was trying to foster was shattered by the way his cheeks went pink and he snorted. Billy could suddenly see the dork behind the symmetrical features and shiny hair.
“Fuck you! This just means you’re gonna be my first victim, Batson. That kidney?” Billy giggled and leaned away as Garth jabbed a finger right over where his kidney actually was. “Is mine.”
“This is good,” Achilles said, “Generally this is where I’d suggest pulling your shirt up, and enticing him with your wares, but that may be unwise as you’ve neglected your mortal body’s physical integrity, you disappointing, noodly-armed twink--”
“Hey!”
Garth raised an eyebrow and Billy realized with horror that he’d let that one escape.
“Uh--”
“Sorry, just…remembered…a thing--where were you going with that before you claimed my kidney?”
“Oh! Yeah right. So I’m gonna like…be busy, you know? ‘Everybody stares at me, boys, girls, I can't help it, baby--’”
“You did NOT just quote Rent--”
“It’s a good musical! What I’m asking is if you want to like, set up a schedule, or is there a codeword, or do I put a sock on the door, or…you know.” He wiggled his eyebrows and Billy wanted to die. For some reason.
“Oh, uh. I mean yeah I guess you can just text me? But it’s not gonna be--”
“Yeah don’t worry, I’m a considerate guy, I won’t screw you.”
“Wow, Batson, look at that, you’ve already taken yourself off of the table.”
“That’s not what he meant! Wait, shoot--”
“Who are you arguing with?” Garth asked casually.
Billy slowly turned to look back at him. “...Eheh, whaaaat? Sorry, just, my internal monologue sometimes--”
“It was Zeus, right? I know about the Ganymede thing, I figure I’m within his taste range.”
“He’s not wrong.”
A chill shot through Billy and he frowned. “...How do you--”
“Dami' wanted me to be prepared in the event of, and I quote, ‘Billy fucking up badly enough that you end up with a demon trying to crawl up your ass.’ End quote.”
Billy stared at him.
“...When you say ‘Dami'--’”
“The stabbiest Christmas elf, yeah.”
Billy groaned.
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