Moon 251-Leaf-bare
Surely the world can’t go on, surely the sun won’t rise and the seasons won’t turn, not now that Echomoor is dead. Tumbleswoop (40) doesn’t know how to go on without him. He tosses and turns, finding it difficult to sleep with his thoughts lingering on Echomoor’s cold last moments. Tumbleswoop can only hope Echomoor knows how loved he was. Vaxxstreak (137) feels like he’s living through a nightmare. Echomoor, his kit, can’t really be dead. Vaxxstreak can’t handle the vigil’s entirety, despite his best efforts. Echomoor’s death has drained him. So much so that he has decided to retire to the elder’s den. Tumbleswoop notices that Vaxxstreak is grieving, too and asks him how he’s doing. The two of them share memories of Echomoor long into the night. Creekstar (105) misses her son and is sad for his loss. But less so than she thinks she should be. Is she a bad cat for not being devastated at her son’s death? Primcrest (93) is taking some time to be with her own son and comes up with a plan to sneak out of camp with Dawnfreckle (34). Brightmouse (26) knows that Dawnfreckle may be feeling down at the loss of another dark-cursed cat and brings him a mouse in sympathy. Meawhile, Streamhiss (22) is losing sleep trying to think of ways to impress Shinebreak. What can she do with her water powers that Shinebreak can’t? Creekstar is impressed with how well Cavepaw’s (9) been doing in training and thinks that he’ll be ready to be a warrior soon. Cavepaw’s nervous and feels like that puts more pressure on him.
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When Mike Wheeler, red faced and still faintly tear stained, asks him how he knew he liked both Steve doesn’t know how to tell him it was his sister.
Before Nancy Wheeler it had only been boys. Before Nancy Wheeler Steve had been sure he was gay and knew well enough to keep it to himself; dating around enough to earn himself a protective reputation. Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been Marcus Summers, from the baseball team, during freshman year. Steve had gone to every game, and had been forced to make up excuses about schoolwork and his other commitments when asked why he hadn’t tried out for himself. Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been Tommy Hagan. The summer between seventh and eighth grade had been very kind to Tommy, he was sunkissed and boy next door sweet, Steve had wanted to hold his hand and count the freckles across the bridge of his nose.
Before Nancy Wheeler there’d been his first love, a boy who only visited one summer, the year Steve turned ten. His name had changed every time they hung out but he’d favored E’s. Eli, Emmett, Elliott, Eric, Excalibur, Excelsior, and once for about an hour Wayne. His hair brushed his chin in pretty brown curls and his big brown eyes were always bright with excitement. He always got storm off mad when any of the other boys they’d played with that summer said he was acting like a girl, E would run off to the woods and Steve would always follow. E always came up with the best games anyway, he didn’t like playing soccer or HORSE or anything else with rules that couldn’t be bent; he preferred imagination games where they were knights or wizards. He didn’t laugh when Steve said he always liked playing house, but never wanted to be the dad because why would he want to be someone who never wanted to spend any time with his kids. E who, while insisting on being called Samwise all day, was his first kiss.
Cause he knows what Mike wants to hear. He’s seen the way Mike and Will have danced around each other since the last portal closed. He’s heard the things Mike has said to and about Will. He’s heard all about the week that Will was in the Upside Down. He’s heard all about the summer of ‘85. He’s heard all about the final off again that seems to officially mark the end of Mike and El romantically. He knows that Mike wants him to say that he’d never even thought about boys before he met Eddie. That there’s just something special about Eddie that makes him want to give up his lady killing ways. That Eddie was different. That it was okay that he was having these scary new thoughts, maybe Will was just an exception.
And Steve doesn’t know how to have that conversation. When he realized he liked both it was a relief, that maybe he could have something normal and wouldn't have to spend his life lying or hiding.
But Eddie was different. Eddie was special. Eddie was probably it for Steve which is scary in a different way that he’s not ready to touch yet -- not when it’s only been three months.
There’s never been another girl since Nancy Wheeler, not really
There will never be another boy after Eddie Munson.
So he tries to help, as best he can. It’s easier with Eddie there, not quite dozing against his shoulder -- the kid’s emergencies always seem to come so late at night these days. “When I was ten, there was a boy whose name kept changing who decided prince charming should get to kiss his faithful knight. And when I was sixteen, your sister-”
Mike’s goodwill diminishes quickly as his sister gets introduced to the conversation.
“Stevie,” Eddie says. It’s not an admonishment for bringing up Nancy. It’s awestruck and watery. “You remember that?”
“Of course I remember the first boy I ever loved," that word catches up with him a second later. Remember.
Cause there's Eddie with his riot of brown curls and his Bambi eyes. Eddie, who has explained why soft feminine words chafe against his skin leaving him itchy and anxious. Eddie, who has an Uncle in Hawkins. Eddie who moved to town the summer before he entered high school with a buzzed head and his mother's last name. Eddie who finally settled into an E he liked best.
"Wheeler, here's a tip from me to you," Eddie says, his advice is always better received than Steve's anyway, "if you have to ask you probably already know."
"Straight people don't really spend much time wondering if they aren't really straight," Steve agrees.
They don't rush Mike out the door, a crisis is a crisis and even in the wake of new discoveries Mike deserves to be heard out. Deserves a chance to cry and rage and feel those emotions someplace safe from his Reaganite father -- just as much as Will deserves to have someone who knows what they want come to him, deserves better than experimentation.
They cross the bridge from late into early by the time Mike sets off. The sun is creeping up over the horizon and Mike looks solid, certain; the dawn hints at the man he is growing up to be. Though every instinct of Steve's begs him to drive the kid home, Eddie's soft hand lingering at his hip holds him fast. They wave instead, encouraging Mike to go home and to bed before he does anything; knowing his front bike tire is already pointed toward the Byers-Hopper place.
"The first boy you ever loved, huh, Stevie?" Eddie teases before the door has even managed to click shut.
"And the last, I'm hoping, if I play my cards right."
"You were always pretty good at that. You were the only person that summer who called me by my name, except Wayne."
"It was your name." He knows that's too simple. Knows how hard Eddie has had it, continues to have it. But that summer it had been that simple, Eddie trying on names like shirts each one fitting until they didn't. "For what it's worth, I like Eddie a lot more than Excalibur."
"Oh fuck off, I was going through a fantasy knight phase. Which I know you remember."
"Right a phase, and how much longer is this fantasy 'phase' going to last?"
They're the kind of tired that makes you feel drunk, when Eddie tackles Steve and sends them both to the floor and to giggles. Eddie might not have been his bi awakening, but Steve is pretty fine with him being his everything else.
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If SIkuna will get the Heian era form later, can he change his appearance? I mean, it will be weird to see a guy with four arms hanging in public.
Assuming he were to do that,
(who knows, not me (I do lol) , if the hypothetical timeline where he and Yuji get separated is gonna be Canon to the Series *HeeHee HoHo's mysteriously*)
yup!
His alternate, 'human' form would be strongly based off of Yuji still, but with some differences.
(I've kinda drawn that as well, but I can definitely imagine it not exactly being clearly explained lol)
For one, he's significantly taller than Yuji (at least for now, the kid is most likely gonna grow to be not as much shorter lol) - although he can be shorter.
He usually isn't much 'shorter', because it's more comfortable - any much lower and it'd feel a bit like a too-tight shirt, but for your whole body lol
('down' to 6~ft/182~cm (wherein he usually stays at 6.4-5ft/193-195~cm) is the min. of proper comfiness)
He also wears earrings (I usually imagined some simple black ones, but he could just as well wear something Hello Kitty related lol (both for the Meme and just because) or just cute, or more colourful), and his left eyebrow has two slits - to kinda connect him visually to his Big Form heh
(I'm kinda contemplating adding some other things but yeah that's the bigger things heh)
And, although usually he only has these whilst in the Bigg form, he can have four arms, stomach mouth, and such whilst 'small' as well - but yeah, that's not exactly something that'd be useful/possible to use in public 😂
As shown in Chapter 2 of Visuals (although it is a different timeline, SIkuna is SIkuna lol), he can sometimes forget to close his secondary eyes, especially at the beginning of the Separation or when kinda mentally tired - it's just much more natural for them to be open
Some random person is more likely to assume they imagined it or he just had good cosplay than actual four eyes though, so hey at least there's that saving him
Not to mention interference from the kids he's likely hanging out with lol, Nobara is a quick-thinking Queen when her older familial figure is being a dum-dum and forgoring 💀 how to Human properly and we love her for it 👏
Since I imagine her dragging SIkuna out for clothes shopping relatively often, perhaps with other kids as well - and SIkuna doesn't mind it at all, he loves actively participating in the kids' hobbies 🥺 - she probably had to cover for his spookiness and such quite often lmao, even if he tries his best 😂
He is very respectful and polite to any workers they might encounter during their shopping though (well, assuming they aren't being unreasonably rude themselves but that's rare, especially in Japan I'd imagine), so fortunately even despite his Vibes being Very Off the two (or more) usually end up being a nice surprise to them actually lmao
- the fact that SIkuna likely takes everything that isn't chosen back perfectly into place whilst waiting for Nobara/other kids to put another outfit on probably makes their spookiness easier to deal with as well 😂😂😂
(He's not 'spared' from dressing up, but he can lighten the load on the workers' shoulders a little bit while he waits his turn, you know - he might be partially old as hell and from a time where that would have been unheard of to do for the sake of 'servants', but he also is partially someone from the 2020's lmao, he gets the pain)
(Imagine crossovers with Canon whilst he's in this form though lol, I feel like one Quite painful Misunderstanding that could happen is that This Other Sukuna apparently completely took over an older Yuji or something (since he clearly isn't there but Sukuna looks. like he looks.) OOF-)
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Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡
So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.
At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.
Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.
I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.
So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.
If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.
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"Love" A poem by me :)
I love harder than the sun loves the stars
I love harder than the ocean loves the moon
I love harder than the desert loves monsoons
I love this hard to ensure I fit your expectations right up to par
If you love me like the birds love the sky
And need me like the earthworm needs dirt
If you love me like a sailor loves the sea
And need me like a king needs his queen
Then you'll get all my love and more I promise; that, you will see
Hold me like the universe holds it's galaxies
Hold me like the forests hold their animals
Protect me like a clam protects its pearl
Protect me like a bear would protect her cubs
Do these things and you will have earned all my love
I love harder than the sun loves the stars
Harder than the moon loves the sea
I'll protect and hold you close to me
Like the most important gemstone in my heart
Because when I love
And trust me, I love
That love becomes a form of art.
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