#I love drawing fucked up forms of god pokemon

[grismavessel]

Vessel AU: Origin Form Arceus?

So I had hashed out this comic of Giratina and Arceus beefing for the vessel au and I decided to finally finish it, but as I was drawing the last panel I went 'Wait, this doesn't look scary enough'

So I made an origin form Arceus. Because if Dialga, Palkia, and Giratina get alternate forms, why can't Arceus? Because it would make sense in like a mythos type way for Arceus to have like a land/normal form for walking around the regions and interacting with pokemon

But this form only comes out when Arceus is really heated and wants to make a point is truly does mean business aka when it's arguing with Giratina

Because I still stick by the idea of Arceus never wants to directly fix/solve problems one on one. It has to have some third party or someone else do it for them since it cannot interfere with the flow of existence or something cosmic like that. So even if it changes into it's origin form it doesn't use it. It's just to make a point that it will not allow something to happen or let something slip. The problem will be fixed no matter what and if that problem is Giratina, Giratina WILL listen.

It doesn't mean Giratina will take it to heart and obey though.

[eggs-and-autism]

a detailed explanation of every anime ive ever watched bc i feel like it

first of all no hate to ppl who like the stuff i trashed on here, same goes for ppl disliking the things i glazed. technically my first anime was pokemon -but thats everyone's first so ill be brief. my fav series was pokemon black & white, xy and xyz were pretty good but nothing compared to b&w.

as a kid i also loved glitter force and lolirock! not much to say i jst love cartoons. ok real post time:

in 4th grade i was really into animation story time youtubers; especially wolfichu. i NEEDED to have her artstyle. so around that time she among others had mentioned in passing tokyo mew mew, so i found a dub of it on youtube.

tokyo mew mew was okay, i wasnt invested in it i juast watched it to be more like wolfichu. i barely got like 5-10 eps in before i forgot ab it and moved on; deciding i would simply not like anime and draw in an anime artsyle in harmony.

and so i didnt watch anime for the next 2 years. i think i told people i did to be cool(i was not cool) but alas, i was a poser. in 7th grade i was online way more and saw ppl talking about anime a lot, so i made a big list of all the ones people told me to watch and decided i would watch them in the summer of 2021

a bit before summer my bff recommended i watch a silent voice. i really liked it, not much to say, its p fuckin good! i really like Shoko's design.

okay summer time-- first on the watch list was the promised neverland; i got though it in a day and felt mildly positive towards it. it was interesting when i connected it to my favorite comic at the time (space boy) but i didnt wanna rewatch.

then there was mha. my bff really liked it at the time so i did have motivation to watch it- but i felt nothing twords the plot and characters. i watched the first 3 seasons but i rember none of it bc i was so distracted and bord the whole time. no hate to mha fans!! i really wanted to get into it; but i once again came to the conclusion i am not a person who likes anime.

i focused on watching other cartoons for a while but my bff got really into attack on titan; so i said over and over i would watch it but never actually did. technically this doesnt count but i know the whole plot form he sending well structured wikipedia esc infodumps about it. so im mentioning it, sue me i dare you.

i also watched the first season of saki k. it wasnt outstanding but it was funny enough.

a good bit into 2022 i saw people on tiktok talking about watamote, it seemed interesting enough, so i watched it. i liked it more then any anime id seen before(spare a silent voice and pokemon). it wasnt really an interest, i had no further thoughts about it, it was pretty funny and the ending song is a fucking banger witch is still on all my playlists!

durring 8th grade i was also forced by my friend-at-the-time to watch komi cant communicate. now, at first i was told to watch the sub(as the dub wasn't out yet). i dont watch subs. i cant watch them at all, i read slow and there is no enjoyment for me and i dont care about the voice acting i need it out loud. but as mentioned komi had no dub for a while so i sat though the first ep and then gave up. months later; dub was out and i watched it. it was fineeee. standered. it was what i expected; i didnt really like it but i didnt hate it. i was just a person who didnt like anime. no changing that.

until-

around the end of my 8th grade year or beginning of my freshman year i saw someone on tiktok talking about school live club! it sounded really interesting so i watched it- and oh my god. i loved it. to this day i love it. SPOILERS!!: the other girls playing into Yukis delusions for their own peace of mind was fascinating. every characters personal story-- the twist with Megumi-- the depiction of ptsd with Kurumi-- the ending--- i loved it.

so naturally, i assumed it was one of a kind and i simply was not a person who liked anime.

during my freshman year i watched madoka magica. i was recommended it by a friend and it statemented itself as the second anime i turly loved. after madoka i started looking for anime i like again

bloom into you hit me on a personal level, it was like a truck that hit my face saying "hey, this is a kinda relationship that is possible", witch as of me figuring out im aroace has been more relivent to me then ever. i have trouble loving people so the idea of somone wanting a relationship because ill never romantically love them is smth i hope for- but obvi might not happen i just like that its possible.

summer before 10th grade-- i was at my fist con and decided if i couldn't find anything to buy i would at least network. i met a really cool artist and chatted with her for a while. she had a keychain i thought was cute so i asked her what it was from. thus my introduction to bochi the rock! and god, it i really wanted to like bochi. i loved guitar and wanted to learn it; i loved her design; the premise want miserably boring; i wanted to like it! but there was no dub, and god i cannot watch subs, its pathetic but i had to drop it.

during the first semester of my junior year i was still working on the future is blue. i mention this because apon seeing an anime with almost the same premise as my comic, i had to watch it. a lull in the sea was an interesting premise for sure, but i never actually finished it. the seris main theme is fish people face xenophobia, but what stuck out to me most was a pattern i noticed with how people treated the heroin. (this is from memory so i might get stuff wrong) i had BEEF with that way Manaka was constantly infanatalized by her friends. the main character constantly treats her like an idiot who is hopless without him. when she comes home crying after being cat-called by some old pos she is told shes being dramatic. like, no wonder she got close with the fisher boy so quickly, HES NICE TO HER!! still id rewatch it in theory if i have time.

and then there was talentless nana. the game changer.

♡ part 2

[subway-boss-jericho]

(same anon that threatened you with art)

legally required to tell you which ones I like- understood. Namely it’s steady tracks (bc I’ve actually had a wip drawing of that for uh *checks files* a… year? And a half?) bc I freaking Love It when the twins become Creature.

by extension that means I adore comebee ingo and emmet and the fossil au and spirit keeper.

those are! The main ones but I really like a Whole Lot of ‘em. Very few will be spared in my (eventual) rampage

whoa epic awesome cool wicked thesaurus.com synonym for great

Welcome to the steady tracks curse! you have it in your wips and then years go by! no one is spared, not even me! /lh

That's a great trio to follow up with though. Those four combined are barely similar /lh You've got the two pokemon AUs and the two ingos in the Oldest Guy Ever club. You love to see it.

But no seriously, this is a serious all star team of favorites. I haven't elaborated on a lot of them beyond the masterlist posts I made, which is super on me, but Steady Tracks, Combee AU and Spirit Keeper Ingo are three of my oldest AUs. By extensionm they're also the ones I am most emotionally attached to. I don't know what form/s it will come in, but spirit keeper and combees are DEFINITELY getting more stuff eventually. I just have to figure out. How. and what, and when.

Fossil AU is one of the ones I've had a while but only started developing more recently, so it's currently in my head all the time. I wish I could elaborate on it but unfortunately it is in the stage of mental illness where I have no idea how to talk about it or explain it to anyone outside of two (2) very close friends. that will absolutely fucking happen though i still stare at that drawing i made a few months ago with fossil ingo and little pearl. i'd fucking kill for little pearl so we're clear. I'm so unwell about fossil it's just in the intangible inexplicable kind of way currently

Downside of having all these AUs is that they all exist in different forms in my head. Spirit keeper is probably supposed to be a comic, but might also end up having longer fic-like sections. Combee AU i want to be a fic i think, but I haven't actually WRITTEN anything for it in SO long. it's gotten swept under the artistic rug in favor of silly doodles. Steady tracks is in eternal hell under the curse, as we all know (nodding sagely)((ITS GOING TO BE FUCKING FREE SOON SO HELP ME GOD)) and I'll be honest I haven't thought about fossil au long enough for it to have a solid medium, but i feel like looser doodle comics would be fun. Or maybe more Big Cool Artwork + smaller written thing. Unsure.

But like, god forbid we talk about Mecha AU or Coupled Uncoupled. The original timeline of the mecha au is an official pokemon animated feature-length movie in my head. I have since developed it in a different direction and I have no idea what the hell I'm gonna do with that. There may or may not be a fully 3D animated goodbye to a world animation for that in the next 3 years because i learned how to model and animate in blender and my power is now unlimited. Coupled (Uncoupled) is a series of Long Fics (like, steady tracks long) mixed with song animatics and animation memes. That thing is so not going to end up being told in the form it exists as in my brain. Many of the other aus are like this

Oh that was a Ramble:tm: my bad. All of this was to say hey, if you ever need a reference for steady tracks ingo, I'm trying to make a 3D model for him rn. It's currently being sidelined in favor of the chapter itself and a 2d artwork I'm doing, but some day he'll be Real. I've got everything modeled except for his legs (hell) and prat of his head (also hell but less) so that's at least something

I forgot where I was going with this. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to fuckin prattle. love prattling. in controlled environments

If you like it when there are Creatures, consider also checking out omgPMD AU and Take My Hand. Similar but slightly different concepts. I imagine you've probably already seen them but I figured i'd mention anyway

Thanks for chatting!! <3 <- i did most of the chatting via ramble but i still value you engaging with my work more than i can put into meaningful words

[boxylocks]

Lunala's Kingdom Rambles

Trying to get back into the mood of drawing and creating things so have a bunch of random lore and info.

The Royals (Human Forms)

Look it's Hope, Sirius, and Earendel! (Plus a tiny Haven)

God how to instantly embarrass Sirius 101, mentioning his social status over other Pokemon. The things I have to draw for asks, I'm going to be very excited when I get to mention Hope and her family I love them so much! o((>ω< ))o

Please note humans do not exist therefore what the fuck are shoes?? Only Sirius really knows honestly. You pick up a few things from traveling to different human-dominated universes.

Did you know the universe is split into two kingdoms? That of Lunala and the other of Solgaleo. Lunala's kingdom is dominated by the night and Solgaleo's by the sun, the day/night cycles are very strange. Lunala's kingdom is lit mostly by artificial light and the moonlight itself during certain times, the sun doesn't really go up beyond a certain point :D

Some info regarding Lunala's family:

Sirius is obviously not Lunala's Bio child, he was adopted but he is still considered her child therefore he receives the same status and treatment. Dude's the middle child look at him.

Haven Lunala's youngest child does not have a human form yet as he's too young to even know how to use magic.

Human forms in the kingdom are generally reserved only for royalty. Lunala is constantly in hers so she can be closer in size to her Pokemon subjects.

Sirius and Earendel are more often in their Pokemon form, they only really do the human forms for in-universe appearances ✨ This outfit is entirely something they only wear when having to appear in public as a group, they do also have a version of it for their Pokemon forms.

In Lunala's universe, it's considered mandatory for all of them to wear a type of crown so everyone knows who they are. I think Sirius would actually die of embarrassment if he had to wear it 24/7 though. When he's not visiting his mom you know that thing isn't going to be in a 30-foot radius of him.

You know... the more I type about Sirius and his family the more I realize exactly WHY he doesn't have any friends and isolates himself from others.

This poor man cannot go anywhere without being treated nicely purely out of want to not anger his mother (aka. the literal GOD and queen of their kingdom) jfc.

[toaarcan]

Pokemon: Shiny vs. Default, 0029-0031

Man, remember when Pokemon having genders and sexual dimorphism made them count as two separate species? Man, Gen I was wild.

Anyway, today we’re covering Nidoran-F and its evolutions, one of those Pokemon that’s great for pretty much any team and a welcome addition to any run.

First up, Nidoran.

Okay, I love the Nidoran line’s shinies, for the most part, because they (mostly) switch colours between the two genders/lines. These are auto-generated shinies, so it’s pretty impressive that they managed to land on these colours. While I generally prefer that Nidoran-F is blue and Nidoran-M is pink (gotta break those gender roles), the shiny forms switching that up is such a good concept that I’m going to give the shiny the nod here. I prefer the originals, but this is such a good switch that I have to give it points.

Now for Nidorina.

Second verse, same as first, honestly. Helps that these pink shades are pretty good. I will say that I’m not wild about the green ears, but nonetheless, still giving the shiny points.

Finally, Nidoqueen.

God fucking damnit, we were so close. So close! All they had to do was make her Nidoking colours and instead we end up with one of the worst green shades and one of the worst pink shades, combined into this thing.

Default wins.

Default: 32

Shiny: 12

Draw: 3

[iridawn]

You have asked for blorboverse question, so, I descend, bringing the silliest of blorbo questions!

(BFS) How many episodes into the G Gundam watch did it take for Lillie to start doing the Shining/God Finger shout alongside Moon? What part of Zeta gave Irida the Big Brainworms? Same question for Dawn, in regards to the Sazabi.

(SBS) What is Barry's team? Who in that team is entirely on his wavelength and who is just, like, "yeah, this is my trainer, he sure is Like This." We know Moon has seen G Gundam, but, has this Dawn also gained a healthy appreciation for all things Char Aznoble?

"blorboverse" is a fantastic term LMFAO

anywho...

BFS

I'd say it took until about... the Guiana Highlands, around when Domon is doing his training arc. The very first time they did it in unison was when Domon does that Shining Finger onto the Devil Gundam. Moon was beside herself with joy, that's how she knew Lillie *got it.*

Irida's brainworms with the Zeta Gundam stems from her enjoyment of MA modes in general. I imagined a young Irida watched the start of Gundam Wing, saw the bird form, and went ":O", which helped draw her into MA modes as a whole. Zeta stood out to her as a powerful option, especially with it's association with stars (because she was obviously interested in space), and just how it moves about.

I'd clock in the final fight Kamille has with Yazan, with the Biosensor, but even just general space fights got her interested because of how the Zeta moved around. She pondered about using such a mobile suit to explore deep space, and... well, the Choros was born a few years after that, with her finally getting the courage to do her own paint job, especially after being hired at a hobby store. (Emmet and Ingo were very willing to offer their advice - they may not build Gunpla, but they know how to fucking paint.)

As for Dawn? A combination of seeing her mom kick ass in the Garura as well as the big fight the Sazabi has with the Nu Gundam solidified it in her mind. Her mom showed a very excited kid Dawn a lot of her previous matches, and seeing the Sazabi move around so freely, dealing devastating, heavy blows, really stood out in her mind, and it looked cool. Combine that with seeing all of the strong options available at the Sazabi's disposal, Dawn was hooked. (Especially after a CCA watch. She really enjoyed seeing it do that cool upwards kick.)

Of course, she still started with the Dom Empert at first - her mom had suggested it as a simpler start and helped her customize it to her own playstyle. She would use a Sazabi in casual matches, but it was definitely a bit too far out of her reach at first... but as she got better, so too did her prowess in that suit. And, while she loved the Dom Empert, noticing a need for a power boost (and also wanting to move to one of the suits she really liked), the Sazabi Empert was born.

SBS

Barry's team is, I imagined, pretty similar to the one he's got in-game. His final team would probably look like this, really:

Barry's Torterra is absolutely on his wavelength. That's his starter -- despite Torterra being a slower Pokemon, he absolutely understands Barry's battling style and everything along those lines. You wouldn't think Torterra is so slow with how they fight. He's kind of like a big puppydog, showering his trainer with affection and very excitable.

Rapidash and Staraptor are also on his wavelength, similar to Torterra. They're both quick and nimble Pokemon, fitting his more impatient attitude and generally being able to get in and do heavy damage fast. They know how to play fast, keep up with his speed, all of that. They're in-sync with him. Staraptor and Rapidash share this oddly intense bond of friendship, seemingly having more respect for one another than anyone else on Barry's team. Maybe even Barry himself... (but they don't hate the others or anything, they simply have this unspoken eternal bond to one another. Nobody knows why, really.)

Heracross and Floatzel are a bit more reserved, but they still love and respect their trainer. They find a mutual bond in one another in perhaps how over the top Barry can be. It's not uncommon for them to just give the "hey, you seeing this shit too?" look to one another while Barry goes on and on about something. It's all out of love, though, and they still can fight and keep up with that faster pace.

Snorlax doesn't pay much mind to anything. As long as he's fed, he's happy. If Barry needs to pull out a trump card, he loudly promises Snorlax a giant feast of a meal if they can clutch this out, which immediately wakes it up and seemingly makes it even more powerful. (Of course, he does follow up on it, even if they lose. Maybe that's why he keeps fining Dawn...)

SBS Dawn hasn't seen anything Gundam related yet, she was always more into shoujo/magical girl stuff. Your Cardcaptor Sakuras, your Symphogears, and the like. (It's a smaller love for her, but one she still enjoys dearly.)

That being said, I'd imagine during their trip to Alola, Dawn passed by a store and went "...Woah, that thing looks cool," when looking at the RG Sazabi in the window. Didn't pay it much mind, though.

(Moon introduces her later, and she definitely doesn't get AS into it as her BFS counterpart, but she absolutely thinks Char is cool as hell.)

thank you very much!!! these were fun to answer LOL

[cheemken]

what are the things you love and hate about all of the pokemon games you played?

Well now I can say I have played gens six and seven, but I haven't finished them yet so I'm just gonna post down what I like abt em so far hahah

I'm also adding the spin offs bc they're also pkmn games

Anyways under the cut hahah

Red/Blue/Yellow - honestly... I just liked that Pikachu can follow us on Yellow, wish they kept that feature all throughout each games, it only came back on HGSS, SwSh, BDSP, and ScVi. Also the fact I can get all three starters hahah

Starting from gen one

Crystal - Kris supremacy, the highlight of it really, also really dope we can visit another region post game

TCG for the GBC - it's fun, made me understand the card game a bit better back then hahah

Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald - HOENN SUPREMACY ough this is home in game form fr, this and BW/BW2, but more on this really hahaha it's cool the contests are cool actually, love the starters, they're the first starter trio where I liked all of them, love the characters, I love my son Wally so much, May/Brendan too, Wallace the true Hoenn Champion in my heart (Emerald bias), the best roster of mons, I could go on really

FireRed/LeafGreen - I mean.. idk. It's an improved version of gen one I'll tell you that but yeah

Platinum - Torterra, Garchomp, Riolu, and the contests (yes I liked the contests here too, the contests here low-key better than in gen 3 ngl)

HeartGold - love the pkmn following feature for real, it's so cute, it's dope, wish they added that in gen five hcnxnx

PMD Red/Blue Rescue Team - Red Rescue Team was my intro to pmd, fucked me up so much I had to use the HP cheat lmfaoooo but it's fun tho hahaha

PMD Explorers of Sky - changed me as a person, really dope, the characters are cool, I just hated Chatot at the start lmfao, but dude this game is so fuckin dope pls cndmdn the way Hero and Partner are so soft and I love how they're still together even post game they mean so much to me your honour🥹

White - my absolute beloved omfsssss everything's so cool okay everything abt it is so cool, love the characters man and the story too, dyou know how cool it was seeing all the Gym Leaders interact and fight Team Plasma, dude that blew my mind back then lmfaooo also c'mon the Tao Trio? You mean the greatest Legendary trio? Hahaha

Black 2 - same w White, it's so cool, everything's so fucking dope, plus PWT

Conquest - I like the art style lmfao

X - Diantha my beloved, also the pokemon petting thing I'm just sad it's a bit lag on my emulator but still I really love this feature hahaha

Ultra Sun - the starters, and the pokemon petting thing again hahah

Omega Ruby - look you already know how much I love Hoenn, plus this has mega evolution and it has the dexnav! Also the pokemon petting thing ofc lmfao also also love how they improved Magma and Aqua really idk I just cnmdnd god ORAS Team Magma and Aqua my beloveds jcdmdn

PMD Gates to Infinity - look I just know that Hydreigon isn't really the big bad guy okay and I'm so happy abt that bc it's usually the Dark/Ghost types that are villains in these games so it's a nice change that Hydreigon isn't a villain

Super Mystery Dungeon - man the scene from the start w Nuzleaf looking at the hero and the hero was giving him puppy eyes killed me okay it lives in my head rent free and I wanna draw smth abt it

Unite - ah yes, the moba game, anyways it's dope if you're winning lmfaooo also it's dope Gengar's there they should buff him actually, I think Hex and Sludge Bomb deserve buffs

TCG online/live - the online one was dope, I still miss my Zamazenta deck to this day

Masters EX - the lore chdmdnd they should add more Diantha lore please I am begging😭

Cafe Remix - it's cute, I love the art style of it hahah

-

Now for my gripes for all these lmfaooo

Red/Blue/Yellow - it's boring as hell. I don't like the fans of this one too, most just couldn't accept that people like the newer gens and they always shit on people if they don't like gen one

Crystal - other than not being able to get Mareep, nothing much, they do have a point w the level scaling tho

TCG for GBC - I mean tbf I understand why it's not mentioned much there's not much to it but it's still fun for killing time

Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald - how back breaking it was finding Feebas I honestly gave up, also what the fuck was that Regis mission man💀

FireRed/LeafGreen - same w RBY

Platinum - it wasn't a fun experience for me, it's slow as shit, and I'm pretty fucking sure majority of the people who like this game only likes Cynthia. Fr, no hate on Cynthia, she's a dope character, but she's like the Charizard of the pkmn characs really, she gets everything and is everywhere, how abt giving a chance to other Champions

HeartGold - a bit slow, but not DPPt slow at least, also again w the level scaling

PMD Red/Blue Rescue Team - this would've been so so dope if it weren't for the fact that after the story, Hero and Partner became nothing but normal recruits. Like all that buildup of Hero wanting to stay for Partner, and suddenly they're just like normal recruits, it sucks

PMD Explorers of Sky - Aegis Cave

White - idk but for me it's hard to level up in this game, also the fact the E4 didn't do much on screen, like I wanna know what they did during Plasma's attack

Black 2 - it's,, well it's how the previous characters interacted really, I wish there was more of it, I wanted to see the Gym Leaders interact w each other during the games, pls I wanted to see Bianca and Iris meeting at Castelia bc I know they met up there again please I just know it

Conquest - I think it's a skill issue on my bit but the gameplay was just so confusing for this one, and no I don't mean the battle gameplay, that I got, more on the,, recruiting bit and using of items and everything else—

X - I can't say it's easy just yet bc I really haven't made much progress so hey, for now I'm gonna say at how fucking long it takes when you get an item like dude why does it take so fucking long💀 also the lack of Diantha scenes, she deserves more, honestly she deserves so much better

Ultra Sun - have not finished this so no solid judgement but for now Imma say it's how tedious it is levelling up your mons and idk if it's a skill issue on my bit but like,,, do they really give off such a small amount of exp?? Idk, granted, my pkmn was a bit over levelled hahah

Omega Ruby - Granite Cave man I can't get Aron early on now ncmxnx

PMD Gates to Infinity - again, haven't progressed much so I don't really have a solid judgement for this

Super Mystery Dungeon - same w GTI

Unite - the abysmal matchmaking, the fact that ftp players don't have a way to get gems even if it's through events or missions, the devs thinking gem locking pkmn was a grand fucking idea, the way they can't balance their mons some are just too squishy and some are still strong despite the nerfs, also have I mentioned the matchmaking? Dude fr standard is either full of bots or I get matched w players who don't even know the objectives even if I'm telling them where to gather chxmxn

TCG online/live - live was honestly so so shit and a lot of players agree like even the cards aren't balanced Jesus Christ also it's lag as shit you can't even do anything most of the time and suddenly you lose also fun fact this game almost broke my fucking phone I almost couldn't exit the game and I had to forcefully reset my phone to save it lmfao

Masters EX - I haven't played this much yet for a solid judgement too but damn is the download time for this is slow as shit and fucking crashed on my tab. Also the lack of Diantha lore, pls they should add more abt Diantha she deserves it

Cafe Remix - idk ig it's the fact I'm broke and can't afford stuff in this game bc almost everything needs real money to get, I really thought this was an offline game at first hahah

[c-hrona]

Another batch of lil Pokemon Legend Arceus illustration i did of my favourite moments!

More under the cut!

Sabi is one of my favourite character, she so tiny, yet so badass, when she showed up with, not one, not two, but THREE FULL EVOLUTED POKEMON i feared for my life. And then the battle with Braviary?? Simply epic, that little demon was going to obliterate me so bad, I love her with all my heart. I actually spoilerated myself with the finale of Pla way before being able to play it, so i knew the whole Volo betrayal. Yet, I was not prepared for that... uhm. Downgrade. Kinda remade his design a little in this one :P However, his battle was epic. The music was insane and when Giratina arrives!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!! Giratina was one of my favourite pokemon since Diamond, but when I saw it I litteraly cheered. Its battle was horrifically difficult tho. I was overlevelled and yet I could barely arrive the third phase! Gods, what a mess.

It was my dear Mismagius that literally saved me!!!! I still am speechless for what happened there! Basically, Giratina goes for Shadow Force, and I think “god, i’m fucked, again”. But Mismagius!!!! Mismagius resisted, with only one HP!!! And the she oneshotted it with Shadow Ball!!!! Mismagius MVP ever. I love her to no end!!

[Image ID:

First image: a sketch of Sabi while is talking to her Braviary. She is saying “all right, Braviary... Why not test out their strenght for yourself?”. She is very intimidating, with Braviary giant form that cast shadows over her

Second image: a sketch of Volo, while Giratina is arriving behind him. He’s laughing and has a mad glare on his face. Giratina is surrounded by a black fog and lightings.

Third image: a sketch of Akari and Mismagius during the last battle with Giratina. Mismagius is in the foreground, she’s trembling and wounded, but she is standing fierce. Akari behind her is on the ground, she’s wounded too and is looking at Mismagius, happy and relieved that her partner is alright.

All the drawings have the same old photo vibe.

End ID].

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: The Top 30 Death Scenes in Movies

Death, the only sure thing in life besides taxes, or the government fucking up,or furries being able to draw detailed pornography of a new Pokemon .002 nanoseconds after the 3D models are leaked, or... Okay, there’s a lot of things you can expect in life, but death is the big one, and since no one is making movies about furries lovingly drawing Hatterene’s lips around a cock, it’s what we’re going to be talking about tonight.

There is lots of death in films. There’s cool, cathartic deaths where villains get what’s coming to them; there are sad, tragic deaths that invoke feelings from the audience; there are funny deaths that mine black comedy for all it’s worth; death really just comes in many forms. Tonight, I’ll be highlighting 30 of my favorite deaths, kills, and violent ends from all across cinema, the ones I think are worth mentioning more than any others. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry, and some might actually make you vomit, so before we start...

TRIGGER WARNING! THIS LIST CONTAINS SOME REALLY GORY DEATHS IN THE IMAGES AND LINKED VIDEOS. THOUGH THEY ARE FICTIONAL, THIS IS YOUR WARNING.

Oh yeah, and since we’re talking about character’s dying, SPOILER ALERT! There is open talking about twists, character fates, and all that throughout!

...And one more thing. The picture up there is just a joke, cuz this is about scenes where people die, and not scenes where Death is the best part. If that were the case, the list would be a lot shorter and the entirety of Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey would be #1, followed by Death’s appearance in Last Action Hero and Death’s appearance in The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. And maybe Christopher Walken in Click.

With that out of the way, let’s make like James A. Janisse and start counting those kills!

30. Make Like a Tree and Leaf

Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July 

Good ol’ Rankin-Bass and their fun little holiday specials! They’re always so fun and wholesome, and their villains are always dealt with a non-lethal manner! Haha, look at Winterbolt, how are they going to deal with... Oh. OH GOD. OH HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

29. Take My Breath Away

  Help! I’m a Fish 

It’s not a really good animated movie without a horrifically fucked up death scene! In a moment of clever trickery, our protagonist tricks Joe (the Alan Rickman fish) to start chugging evolution juice so he can become human, using his own intelligence and ego against him. What Joe doesn’t seem to realize until he’s too late is that humans can’t breathe underwater, and moments after realizing this and assuming a freakish form, he dies and we watch his lifeless corpse float off into the darkness. God I love children’s films.

28. I Don’t Wanna Be the Guy

Spy Kids 3D: Game Over 

He’s the ultimate badass. The coolest of the cool. When the Guy, played by Elijah Wood, steps onto the scene, you know shit is about to get real, and-

Oh he’s dead. Never mind.

PRESS R TO TRY AGAIN

27. Oh Deer

  Bambi

Before there was Mufasa, there was Bambi’s mom. Much like that iconic parental death from Disney, this is truly a gut punch, a brutal moment of harsh realism punctuating the whimsical forest setting. I think the only reason this is so low is that, as far as Disney parent deaths go, it doesn’t hit quite as hard as Mufasa since she’s killed offscreen. Doesn’t make Bambi’s father’s sad words any less poignant or heartbreaking, though.

26. The Night Gwen Stacy Died

Amazing Spider-Man 2 

I shit on this movie all the time, and with good reason; it’s shit. But it has a few really good moments sprinkled throughout (that only piss me off more because you can see the good movie underneath), and the iconic death of Gwen Stacy is certainly one of them. I even like how Peter’s web forms into a little hand as he leaps after and desperately tries to save her, and Garfield’s misery is well-done both here and in his continued story in No Way Home. Now if only the rest of the movie could have been as well done as this scene.

25. You Get What You Fucking Deserve

Joker 

What do you get when you put a socially awkward, mentally ill clown with a gun on a talk show that has previously made a mockery of him. Why, you get incredibly tense build up to a brutal kill that solidifies Arthur Fleck’s transformation into the Joker, of course!

24. Sometimes You Penguin, Sometimes You Lose

Batman Returns 

Some things really shouldn’t be as emotional as they are. I mean, look at this. This is a bunch of penguins giving a funeral to their deformed master who just dropped dead. This should be ridiculous! And maybe it is a little, but it’s also really tragic and emotionally moving despite itself. This is a man being mourned by the only creatures who ever loved him, who are honoring him in a small way. It really just compounds the tragedy of the character.

23. Your Favorite Scary Movie

  Scream 

This opening scene is nothing short of iconic. There’s Drew Barrymore, a big name actress, in peril by the killer of the film. There’s some close calls, but of course she gets away to become our main character, right? Wrong. She ends up as dead as her boyfriend in the shocking opening twist, a twist that prepares you for just what sort of film you’re about to watch. 

22. Rosebud

Citizen Kane

This might be one of the most iconic opening’s ever put to film. Charles Foster Kane delivers his final words, dies, and sets off the mystery that drives the plot. It really is as simple as that.

21. The Big Hit-ler

Inglourious Basterds

So you’re watching Tarantino’s little WWII fiction movie, and you kind of know what to expect from these sorts of films. No matter what happens, it couldn’t possibly change the outcome we know; Indiana Jones, Captain America, if none of these heroes could alter the course of history, who could? How about a bunch of pissed off Jews with guns and another, equally pissed of Jew who has been plotting to burn the Nazi high command alive in her theater for along while? What ensues is the one rule you’re never supposed to break in a WWII film: Hitler fucking dies, and with his death we get the origin story for the Tarantinoverse.

20. Worthless

The Brave Little Toaster 

The Brave Little Toaster is already a movie with plenty of fucked up stuff, but in the big finale we go to a junkyard where numerous sentient cars forlornly reflect on their lives before being smashed into scrap in what is surely the most fucked up and traumatizing scene in the entire film.

19. People Who Died

The Suicide Squad 

James Gunn really put the “Suicide” back into “Suicide Squad.” They had to show us they weren’t fucking around this time, so after building up this quirky squad filled with nothing but D-listers (and Harley, Boomerang, and Flag) they proceed to brutally massacre them all. Mongal dies in a helicopter crash, one that shreds Boomerang to pieces; Blackguard gets his entire face blasted off; Javelin is taken down before he can even do anything; and Savant, who you’d expect to be a stone-cold badass since he’s played by frequent Gunn collaborator Michael Rooker, pretty much shits his pants and runs away crying like a baby, and Amanda Waller is having none of that. BOOM! There goes his head, and here comes Jim Carroll’s most famous song over a montage of the Squad’s corpses as the real heroes get ready to rock and roll. It’s the perfect blend of hilarious, fucked up, and genuinely sad.

18. One Death to Rule Them All

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King 

I almost put in Sauruman’s death from the extended edition, if only because of the fun fact attached to the scene (Christopher Lee helped make the death more realistic because he knew what a man who was stabbed in the back to death would do and would sound like). But as awesome and fun as that is, it’s really inarguable that, in a film filled to the brim with iconic deaths, the one that towers tall above them is old Smeagol’s big dive into Mt. Doom with his Precious, united in his final moments with the only thing he truly cared about. It’s poignant, it’s sad, it’s awesome... and it’s a fitting end for both the ring and the pitiable creature Bilbo Baggins spared all those years ago.

17. Breakin’ the Law

John Wick: Chapter 2 

We’ve seen John Wick mow down bad guys for two whole movies, with no one being able to stand in his way. But he has also always followed the rules. So when he shows up at the Continental, ready to confront Santino (who has spent the entire movie ruining his life), you can feel the sheer tension between the two men as that upstart bastard taunts John with what he believes is invulnerability. Everyone else knows that the clock is counting down to his death, and the tension comes from watching as John slowly reaches his breaking point. Lesson learned: Do not fucking taunt the Boogeyman.

16. Did You Hear Steve Jobs Died of Ligma?

Watchmen

Ok, this one has been memed to Hell and back, but this is still one of the most powerful and iconic death scenes in anything ever. Unable to compromise his black-and-white worldview and allow Adrian Veidt to get away with mass murder even if it’s for the greater good, Rorschach basically asks Dr. Manhattan to put him down. Interestingly, he removes his mask, choosing to die as the man Walter Kovacs rather than the vigilante he had spent his years as, in his final moments reclaiming that humanity he’d seemingly lost. The movie also adds Dan witnessing his friend’s death, something that I felt was severely lacking in the comic. 

15. Aw, Nuts

Hereditary 

If Ari Aster knows how to do one thing well, it’s miserable gut punches that emotionally devastate you. Ignore that twist at the end that makes this death seem like the most absurdly well-prepared series of coincidences. In the moment it happens this is a child being decapitated in a freak accident, her brother driving home in shock with her headless corpse in the back seat, and her mother finding said corpse the next morning and letting out an agonized wail that fades into the funeral.

14. They Did Nazi This Coming

Raiders of the Lost Ark 

You could, if you were a boring idiot who hates fun, argue that the whole of Raiders is pointless and if Indy just stayed home the end result would be the same. This argument is stupid for so, so many reasons, but the big reason is if Indy kept his nose out of the Nazi’s business, we wouldn’t have been able to see the most epic Nazi massacre of all time. Like, what did these morons think would happen when they fucked around with a holy Jewish artifact? 

13. Choke On ‘Em

Day of the Dead 

There’s defiant to the end, and then there’s this. The villainous Captain Rhodes may know he’s quite thoroughly fucked when that swarm of zombies grabs him, but he’s going out taunting his opponents with his last gurgling breath as they rip him apart. Rarely is a death so badass and so cathartic all at once.

12. Deep Trouble

Jaws 

This has frequently been cited as one of, if not the most terrifying scenes in cinematic history. It’s really hard to argue with that, honestly. You never see the shark in this scene, only from its point of view, but what you do see is the terrified cries and flailing of Chrissie while she’s being viciously attacked by an unseen force. You have to imagine what the shark is doing to her below. And then she’s pulled under mid-scream? Yeah, I’d be afraid to go into the water too.

11. Oooh, What a Feeling...

 A Nightmare on Elm Street

Freddy Krueger has scored a lot of impressive kills over the years, many of them accompanied by cool special effects and awesomely cheesy one liners. But for my money, his best murder was where he demonstrated just how terrifying his power could really be on poor Tina. This is just a cruel, brutal, drawn-out death, and you know Freddy enjoyed every second of it.

10. Hello, Little Friend!

Scarface 

Tony Montana refuses to do anything small, and that includes dying. The man snorts a mountain of cocaine and busts out guns blazing for a final confrontation he has no hope of winning, but boy does he go out in style. This is a death for the history books right here.

9. You Shall Not Pass!

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring 

It almost feels like cheating putting this on here because, duh, Gandalf bounces back from this in a truly epic way. But he still does die for a little bit, even though we don’t see the full extent until the next film. Taken at face value here, Gandalf dies after pulling off the most unbelievably amazing holding the line moment ever put to film. And then the next film tells me, no, he didn’t die there, he actually died later after fighting this big fucking demon all the way from the bottom of the mountain to the top before dropping dead, experiencing some kind of heavenly acid trip, and then coming back strong enough to whoop Christopher Lee’s ass without even trying? The only thing better than a great death is a great death that leads into an even greater rebirth.

8. Shoebert Dip

Who Framed Roger Rabbit 

To show how serious Judge Doom is, we had to see the dangers of the Dip first hand. What better way to do that then by taking a cute, cheerful little shoe and dip it in while it wiggles in abject terror? Well I can think of a million better fucking ways that wouldn’t have haunted me for my entire life, but it sure as hell wouldn’t have been quite so memorable. 

7. Pride Comes Before the Fall

The Lion King

The one time you wish a cat would land on his feet... and yet, he doesn’t. They call this movie a Hamlet ripoff, but we never see Hamlet’s dad bite the big one like we do with Mufasa. For a lot of people, this is one of the first big tearjerkers of their childhood, and it’s hard to deny that Mufasa’s death still stings today.

6. You like Huey Lewis and the News?

American Psycho 

This scene has gone down in legend as one of the most memeable moments in a film that has spawned a ridiculous amount of memes. Everything about it is amazing, from Bale’s absolutely batshit performance to the awesome music to that amazing spray of blood on his face at the end. But the real cherry on top of the sundae here is the victim, who is played by one Jared Leto. Watching Jared Leto die is a gift in and of itself.

5. Thumbs Up

Terminator 2: Judgment Day 

This is truly a powerful moment, where Arnold’s machine decides to sacrifice himself to preserve a better future for John and his mother. With this final, simple gesture, he truly showcases how even a machine can learn to be human, and helps solidify the hopeful message about how we choose our own destinies and that nothing is set in stone. No amount of crappy sequels can ever diminish just how moving and awesome this scene is.

4. Wet & Wild, Part 1

Psycho 

Perhaps the greatest halfway plot switch of all time, this is perhaps one of cinema’s most iconic murders. Even people who have never seen this film have likely stumbled across an homage or parody of this moment. An underrated component is how we really don’t see all too much; most of the damage is left to our imagination, with only brief flashes of the stabbing and screams filling in the blanks for you.

3. Wet & Wild, Part 2

The Wizard of Oz 

Ever since this death, witches have feared bath time. It’s not foreshadowed at all, it really comes off as an ass pull, but do you really care? It’s so fun and iconic, and fits the fantastical, corny tone of the film perfectly. The Wicked Witch’s pitiful cries of “I’m melting!” are sure to embed themselves in your head forever, too. This just goes to show pulling ideas out of your ass isn’t always a bad thing.

2. Here Comes the Sun

Nosferatu

Out of all the deaths on this list, this one might be the single most important death in cinematic history. Every single vampire killed by the sun owes everything to this, this moment pulled out of the director’s ass so they could have the bad guy die. But as far as ass pulls go, it’s hard to change something that literally redefined pop culture as we know it. This one really changed the game for all time, but there’s one death that, while perhaps not quite as historically significant, is just overall better on every level...

1. There Goes My Hero

The Other Guys 

This may seem like an odd choice. Over The Wizard of Oz? Over Psycho? This scene from a comedy from the start of the 2010s? Well, let me break it down for you.

This scene is perhaps the greatest subversion of expectations of all time. You’ve seen a million cowboy cop action movies with badasses who don’t play by the rules and accomplish impossible feats. Hell, the movie these guys are in is one; an attack chopper is taken down by golfers, for crying out loud! And then you have the casting choices for Danson and Highsmith, Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, two of the most badass men in Hollywood who have made careers out of playing unstoppable forces of nature. So when you have all of this coming together, all of this right there in front of you, when The Rock says “Aim for the bushes” and they make that 20 story leap and Foo Fighters starts playing, you believe that they will defy the odds and for a second you don’t even question it.

And then they hit the pavement and die.

This is the single funniest death in any comedy movie and, and I want to be clear I am 100% serious when I say this, it is the greatest moment in cinematic history, period. I have never seen another moment in a movie that is just so undeniably perfect in every way, from actor choice to song choice to the comedic timing of when the song cuts off. It’s just the highest form of art.

[moonbaby26]

(gif from Jason Passaro’s youtube edit here)

Title: One Shitty Friday Night (Part 1)

Pairings: Peter Maximoff x Fem!Reader, Colossus x Shadowcat

Summary: Set after the events of Deadpool 2, you and your boyfriend Peter are on a double date downtown with your fellow X-Men Piotr Rasputin (Colossus) and Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat) when Deadpool and Russell arrive unexpectedly. Chaos and violence naturally ensues, including taking down mafia henchmen, dealing with news media and paparazzi who circle in with the action, and a jealous Peter. This will be concluded in Part 2 with the mixed reactions of Logan, Charles, and Erik when you all bring Wade and Russell back home, etc. 😄

Notes: For simplicity’s sake as Piotr R. is normally called “Peter” as well, he’ll just be referred to as Colossus here.

Warnings: Some alcohol use. And it’s Deadpool, so a lot of cursing and irreverent jokes of course. This started out as just crack!fic that became actual fic that had to be split into two parts because it hit post limit. Holy cow.

Peter Maximoff x Reader Masterlist

—————————

Kitty all but snorted, trying to put her drink back down on the table before it could end up fully sideways instead as her laughter left her trembling.

Colossus sighed quietly, but you could still see the warmth in his eyes as he looked down at her before helping dab up some of her errant wine off the table with a thick cloth napkin.

It was late Friday night, and save for your semi disapproving, large and very Russian designated driver, the other three of you were now several drinks deep and a bit too loudly enjoying Peter’s retelling of the Led Zeppelin cover band debacle. You’d been there with him that night, but it never got old the way Peter told it.

“I shit you not, and this guy still keeps hitting on Jean.” Peter continued, his third nearly empty glass of craft beer still in hand. “Scott’s about to fry the dude. They’re playing Immigrant Song, and these lasers start up. All dudebros in the club go wild, and Scott tries to sneak off a warning shot. Freaking air balls it! I have to move like forty people and it still blows a damn hole in the wall. But nobody even noticed! Fake Robert Plant is screaming his heart out and everybody is just eating it up. I swear my Dad could have flown in there, cape billowing and they still would have thought it was part of the show!”

You were at risk of being elbowed in this small restaurant booth, with how animated Peter was as he spoke beside you. But you didn’t mind. The lighting was dim, possibly verging on romantic, the smell of good food from the kitchen reminded you of what was to come, and you were just enjoying time with some of your favorite people.

When Peter did finally drop his hand again though, the not so subtle movements of it then up your thigh also promised something much more personal later tonight. Maybe it was the warmth from the mixed drinks you were also nursing, but you shifted your leg a little, pushing even more into his touch under the table. Your movement just signaled your silent agreement to him that tonight would be a perfect night to be throwing clothes on the floor as soon as you got back to your shared room at the mansion.

It’d been a long, tiring week after all. Helping teach classes during the day and training your ass off in the danger room every night, you didn’t think it was unreasonable to cut loose a bit now.

Even Colossus was chuckling a little at last, but the big guy was always softest around Kitty. You in particular had been one of her biggest supporters when she’d first confessed her attraction towards him. You’d noticed his bashfulness with her as well, and all the little glances he’d given her long before she’d ever worked up the courage to ask him out.

But that seemed so long ago now, it was hard to really remember a time when they weren’t together. Almost as long as you and Peter really.

You glanced up as the waiter came back by to check on you all, saying your food would be out in a few more minutes and asking if anyone needed more drinks.

“Oh gosh, we’re really running up the tab right?” Kitty smiled.

You could see the little bit of relief in Colossus’ expression as she waved the waiter off though, her current wine glass still nearly full. “I’m fine for now, thank you.”

Peter glanced at you and you nodded as well. A buzz was fine, but you didn’t want to be climbing the mansion stairs full on drunk tonight. “I’m good.”

As the waiter left, your conversation got a little more subdued. You leaned into Peter somewhat, hip to hip in the booth as he put his arm around your waist.

Kitty was now talking about a movie she thought you should all go see next weekend if you could. You were just in the process of agreeing as you’d wanted to see it too, when Colossus suddenly went stock still, a look of real surprise on his face.

Kitty evidently noticed as soon as you did, you both staring up at him in unison.

“Do not turn around,” He instructed to you and Peter, eyes locked on something behind you.

Of course when told to do one thing, it would take everything in Peter’s willpower to not do the opposite. But to his credit he actually did hesitate. “Do we need to be dodging something? I mean, I can move us if I need to, man. You just gotta let me know.” Peter stated.

“I don’t think he’s seen us yet. Please do not draw attention.” Colossus responded, still frustratingly vague to the rest of you.

But he hadn’t metaled up yet, his skin still entirely human looking. So on the plus side, it couldn’t be someone he thought an immediate physical threat.

You glanced to Kitty for some hope of explanation as she was seated beside Colossus and facing the same direction. But she was too short in comparison to him, and couldn’t see all the way across the booth dividers as easily as he could. “Well who is it?” Kitty demanded quietly.

But you heard an impatient voice carry over clearly from the nearby restaurant entrance.

“Look, you know he’s here. I know he’s here. Don’t make me leave you guys a bad Yelp review. I will totally Karen that shit up. I’m just here for him.” A pause. “...And some of the cannolis. God, I love those things. You went a little scarce on the filling last time though. Don’t make me add that to the Yelp review.”

You heard the hostess stutter, fear evidently building. “Sir, firearms are not allowed in this restaurant. The owner, he, I...I can’t.”

There was a loud sigh from the man, the distinct sound of a gun cocking, and then all hell broke loose.

“WADE!” Colossus screamed, your entire table flipping as he stood up, metal now encasing him in this even larger form.

Abruptly you were now standing back by the entrance yourself. Peter had one arm around you, and the other around Kitty as he let you both go just as instantly, having just brought you there before he disappeared again.

That little flare up of vertigo from the speed and sudden stop didn’t mix well with the alcohol, and she and you both stood there another moment, queasy as Peter appeared again with an armful of guns.

It would have been comical as he clearly had no idea where to put them now, but everyone else that had still been in the restaurant was already screaming and running for the doors in a panic.

The owner of the multiple guns couldn’t care less about the crowd however, only turning his full focus to the lot of you then in exasperation.

“Oh my God, you anti second amendment, mother fuckers. I’m in the middle of a job here!”

“You can’t just point guns at innocent people, Wade! We have talked about this many times!” Colossus retorted, all seven foot of him now standing over Deadpool with paternal like annoyance.

“For fuck’s sake, it’s called a threat. I wasn’t going to kill her you overprotective, asshat! Now Giovanni is probably holed up in some pussy ass panic room, or he’s already ghosted me out the back door! And yes, I know that is such a stereotypical mob boss name and totally sounds like the Pokemon villain. Fuck him and his always trying to take Pikachu! He had a talking cat the whole time who just wanted his love, but no, got to have the electric rat. Fuck!”

“Language, Wade!” Colossus scolded. “There is still a child present!”

And honestly in all this insanity, that was the first time you actually noticed Russell also still standing there. Everyone else in the room had now fled out into the street.

“I’m fucking fourteen,” The boy replied defiantly. “And yeah, we were working!”

“Daddy and angrier metal daddy are just talking, hon.” Deadpool commented, waving a hand.

There was a small gust of air beside you and you looked to Peter knowingly. Wade’s guns were now all on a table, though intentionally still distant from your current position. “So I just made a couple laps.” Peter spoke up. “The cops are already coming, and there’s still a bunch of guys in the basement. They were opening some crates, probably getting weapons? I didn’t know if we were taking them out yet though. I didn’t touch anything. But is Giovanni like a big dude with gold rings and all?”

“I’m telling you besides the drug and human trafficking, it’s practically more criminal how much he sets back Italian-American stereotypes. They are an honest, manicotti making people goddamn it.” Deadpool answered.

You really were starting to regret the amount of drinks you’d had. If you’d known tonight was going to be anything like this, you would have gladly stuck to water. Your head was already trying to throb a little as you finally spoke. “So, does this guy actually have warrants out on him? If the cops come, they’re all going to end up shooting each other most likely. Can we just defuse this by giving him up to them?”

“I would say we assist to prevent unnecessary bloodshed, if that is the case, yes. I’m sure the Professor would prefer that.” Colossus agreed.

“Freaking goody two shoes, all of you.” Wade sighed. “But he has to get arrested or dead okay? I don’t get paid otherwise.” He paused though, then looking back up to Colossus before suddenly elbowing him. As if he’d even really feel that. “And hello rudeness, are you not going to introduce me to your little girls night out club here before we go bust some heads in a gratuitous X-Force/X-Men hotties crossover?”

“X-Force?” Kitty asked, sounding as already over this as could be.

“Well, we are a little empty on the roster at the moment. Some...unfortunate parachuting incidents. Wind advisory that day. You know how it goes.” Deadpool shrugged.

By her expression, no. She did not know how it went.

But the sooner you started, the sooner this could be over. Colossus motioned to each of you in turn, “Peter, (Y/N), and Kitty. These are my teammates and friends.” He nodded back to Deadpool, “And this is Wade.” And then to the boy. “And Russell.”

Of course you already knew who they both were. It’d been a bit of a scandal really, with the whole Essex House fiasco and the deaths that had occurred there. Fair or not, a lot of the blame had ended up on Juggernaut the second time around though you thought. Which is why Charles hadn’t had to deal with too much bad press in the aftermath.

You could not let this become another Essex House situation for the X-Men though. You were about to speak up about heading to the basement together and Deadpool staying out of your way so you all could neutralize everyone without any fatal hits, when he gasped dramatically, making you freeze again.

“Kitty!? Like an actual girl named Kitty? Oh my God, this whole time I thought you were his cat!” He hit his own leg, laughing. “I’m thinking, holy shit this guy loves his goddamn cat, but who am I to judge you know? I had a dog named Mr. Shuggums. Cutest little fucker.” He took a breath. “I miss him.”

“Wade.” Colossus groaned. “We do not have all night.”

Okay, so there was still something sweet about Colossus gushing about his girlfriend even to this manic mercenary. But no kidding, this show really needed to get on the road here.

“Guys, why don’t we just let Peter disarm them all, Colossus, you grab Giovanni, and Kitty and I deal with anyone who still resists? No one has to get hurt, and then it’s all done, easy.”

“And then we go find somewhere else to eat. Killing me here. I wanted that damn calzone and tiramisu.” Peter sighed, pulling his goggles back down over his eyes again. “More guns coming up.”

He disappeared at once, but when he didn’t return immediately as you were so accustomed to, you and Kitty exchanged a nervous look.

And after only another few seconds, your instincts told you something had definitely gone wrong.

“Is the basement directly beneath us?” You asked Deadpool sharply, already reaching out a hand to Kitty. Your adrenaline was starting, all good feelings gone as it was now time to act.

But you’d worked together long enough now, you didn’t have to explain your plan to her or Colossus.

Yet when the previously mouthy merc had no instant response, just staring at you in thought, it was clear he hadn’t done any recon beforehand at all. He’d literally just walked in here and expected everything to work out.

“Perfect.” Kitty said sarcastically, glancing quickly to Colossus as she took your hand. “You’re our backup, dear, in case our vertical entrance doesn’t work out. Come find us.”

“Always.” He said, already turning, his weight shaking the floor as he ran to look for any stairway downward while you and Kitty dropped straight through the floor.

It was surely a risk of its own to use her phasing ability so blindly as this. You could end up in a too small crawlspace, in underground piping, a sewer system, anything really. She’d make sure not to go solid until it was safe, as to not impale or bury you alive of course. But if Peter were in trouble, there was no time to waste by ending up at a dead end and having to go back up and try again.

You’d held your breath, as there was no way for you to process oxygen either as your lungs and every other part of you shifted through the other matter. It was darkness and insulation, pipes, and conduit that flashed by at first. But in the fractions of seconds that it took to fall, you had already powered up. The white light of your energy field overtaking your body, shielding you both as you did fall into a larger open area.

It was even darker than the restaurant above, all concrete and dampness. The glow from your body was the brightest thing there as much more men than you’d expected all turned in surprise. You saw the glint of multiple gun barrels now, but the thing you wanted to see most was Peter’s silver hair as you’d scanned the area for him instantly.

There was a stairwell in the distance. He was laying near the bottom of it. But you had no time to be shocked or afraid, only anger swelled as you released Kitty’s hand, making you solid again. “I’ll get him.” Was all you said. Letting her know to protect herself as you flew to him. Bullets couldn’t hurt her if she was ready for them. But Peter would be defenseless without one of you now, and by means of your power of flight you were the faster of you and her.

The man closest to Peter had a different kind of gun though you realized. Something you didn’t recognize at all as he aimed at you. You splayed your palms to create an energy shield in front of you as he pulled the trigger.

It didn’t make a sound though. But everything around you instantly distorted as pain exploded through you. You saw five or six of him now, as your feet hit the ground, unable to concentrate enough to fly then. But even as you stumbled, realizing your shielding wasn’t fully stopping whatever that weapon was doing, you were still able to expand your shield rapidly, hitting the man with the force of a car in your pain and sending him flying into a nearby wall, the weapon clattering to the ground lightly against his now limp body.

But you still felt like you were going to puke.

“Kill them you idiots!” Someone screamed.

You dropped yourself, laying over Peter just as quickly, grateful to feel him breathing as you focused through the pain to extend a shield around you both as the gunfire started.

“Bitch!” Another man yelled as Kitty just walked unharmed through all the flying bullets towards you.

“Shadowcat actually,” She said, skilled enough in her powers to choose what was solid and what wasn’t. Just the outside of her fist being all she needed to crush his nose in one punch with a squirt of blood, and only the end of her foot used as she swept her leg after to knock his own right out from under him.

Even among your own team, sometimes people could forget that that petite Jewish girl was about as skilled a martial artist as anyone could be.

“Babe?” You heard against your ear though, glancing back down to Peter. There was real relief even in the chaos as you saw him smile up at you.

He talked back against your ear in the noise as Kitty continued to utterly wreck the guys around you. “I fucked up a little, right? That gun...they already had it going, aimed at the door when I came back, a trap...I think I hit every stair on the way down...I still see like three of you right now.”

“Ditto.” You breathed.

And then there was another even louder noise as the remnants of a door also came flying down the stairs. Colossus barreled in behind it like a stampeding elephant, Deadpool right behind him as they leapt over the both of you and joined the fray.

“We found the basement!” Deadpool announced gleefully, swords swinging. “Don’t think they’d even locked the door back actually, but fuck if big Russki doesn’t love a dramatic entrance!”

For a moment you thought all your words about at least trying not to kill had been for nothing, thinking Deadpool was going to chop these men into literal pieces. But even as blood sprayed left and right, you realized he was just cutting tendons. The men then unable to hold their guns, unable to stand at all as he crippled each he reached in succession.

It was still completely horrific, but hell, how much could you really ask for from someone like him? Especially when you yourself had slammed that one man into a concrete wall as if he were a ragdoll. You glanced over anxiously for a moment, glad to see him shifting a little, but still crumpled exactly where you’d thrown him. He was alive, a small relief at least.

——————————

Obviously the other gunmen hadn’t had a prayer either though once you’d all been down there together.

Colossus already had a still cursing Giovanni slung over one shoulder as you were now helping Peter back up and trying not to step in all the blood as you all walked over to Kitty.

“What a mess...very interesting weapon though,” She spoke of that odd gun that’d been used on you and Peter, it now in her hands as she turned it one way and then another examining it. “I’m bringing this back with us. The police don’t need anything like this. Hank and I can figure out how it works. And how to defend against it hopefully before we run into another one of these out in the field.”

“It seems this Giovanni was more a threat than expected,” Colossus said, giving the still squirming man an unhappy look, before looking back to you all. “Are you alright, Peter?”

“I’m still hungry.” Peter grumbled, an arm over your shoulder to still help stabilize him as his other hand went to his head as if it were pounding. He also had some bruising starting on his face, no doubt from his tumble down the stairs. “I wouldn’t have drank so damn much if I’d known we weren’t going to eat...”

With the speed of his metabolism, that alcohol likely was hitting him pretty hard now on his already empty stomach.

“We should turn this guy over and get out of here.” You agreed. Though you didn’t feel so hot yourself. Still a little nauseous from whatever that weapon did to your senses. But at least you weren’t seeing triple of everything anymore.

“Hold it, girl scouts!” Deadpool piped up, chipper as ever as he grabbed something at Giovanni’s neck before any of you could think to stop him.

The man choked just a moment though, before a piece of metal snapped off into Wade’s hands. It was a necklace, with a symbol of some sort. You saw just a glimpse of it before Deadpool pocketed it. “No proof of finishing the job, no payday for DP. No payday, then no liquor, no coke, no hookers. Am I right?”

It was too difficult to tell when if ever he was serious, and you all chose to ignore his comment, starting back up the stairs. The odd sounds of bullet fragments falling back down the stairwell caught Peter’s attention though as he gave a grossed out look to Wade for a moment.

The now impact deformed bullets were starting to work themselves back out of all the bloody holes in Deadpool’s costume. You knew where you’d seen that before of course, but Peter was the only one that actually said it aloud.

“Damn, you and Logan would be a pair.”

There was a pause, and you could swear even with the mask, you thought you saw Wade’s cheekbones move in a way that signaled he was outright grinning from ear to ear. “At least someone gets it. He still won’t return my calls though. Such a diva lately.”

Once you did get to the top of the stairs, you only found a very agitated Russell standing there, Wade’s guns in his arms. “You took long enough, the cops are outside you know. I’m not going back to jail for you!”

“Cool your tater tots, kid.” Deadpool responded lazily, in no hurry, but grabbing the weapons back to holster them all regardless.

“I could have finished this faster! I would have fried their asses!” Russell argued.

“You would have been shot. Fire does not stop bullets.” Colossus only answered matter of factly.

Russell made a face, but Wade cut him off before he could say any more.

“Now now, listen to metal daddy. No sass. And actually, I think there’s something we should talk about, champ. X-Force is way more badass and all, but we don’t exactly have a training and junior member tier yet. Maybe later. You might want to think about riding home with these guys and checking their setup out. I don’t have any powers myself to relate to you like that, except me being very shootable, devastatingly charming, sexy, smart, and a competitive level Skee-Ball player...”

Deadpool sighed, continuing. “But these guys have a Danger Room. Which is totally not a sex dungeon, yeah I was bummed about that too. But they could let you unleash that school shooter level teenage angst and burn all the shit you wanted until you really figure out your powers.”

Russel bristled. “I’m not a school shooter you prick! And you always said the X-Men were neutered dweebs and-”

Wade coughed loudly, ushering Russell forward suddenly as you all continued to walk. “Hah, kids. Such darlings. Mishear everything don’t they?”

Colossus only answered without offense though. “The offer is still open, Russell. Though you have said no before. The Professor would never turn down a young mutant in need.”

It was Peter who surprised you a little, a smirk on his face as he contributed. “Freaking sweet house too, man. Xavier’s loaded. Big screen TV, a pool, basketball court, your own room, supersonic jet. Bunch of cute girls as well, or cute boys, you know whatever you’re into.”

“I’m not gay.” Russell huffed, but actually looked to be listening now as he didn’t immediately spit back with a sarcastic retort.

Though you gave Peter a weird look and he just grinned. “What? I stayed for you didn’t I, babe? Just saying. I wasn’t exactly on board with the whole team thing before that either. I know where he’s coming from is all.”

“It’s up to you, Russell.” Kitty said more diplomatically, before returning to the matter at hand. “We’re parked at that parking garage two blocks south. Everyone meet back there, Colossus and I will hand this guy over to the cops out front. The rest of you, I’m sure there’s got to be some emergency exit you can sneak out of. Probably better to split up actually. Less attention.”

—————————

Just as Kitty had suggested, Deadpool and Russell went out one way, and you and Peter another. You came out onto another street behind the restaurant. And you’d just finally started to relax again, Peter taking your hand in his own and walking away like an honest to God normal couple for once, just out on the town together before you noticed an oddly placed white van with distinct lettering on it.

Peter saw it too just as the light from a camera hit you both.

“Hell,” You breathed.

“Want to run?” He asked seriously.

“Too late, they’d just film us ditching, and say we had something to hide.”

Your headache was returning in full force you thought as you steeled yourself, seeing the reporter now in a full sprint towards you.

“It’s Quicksilver! And (your codename)! The X-Men are here!” A woman shouted.

As you walked closer to the news van, the camera flashes only increased. It looked like a small group of paparazzi had also camped out here, hoping for this exact result. How did word travel so damn fast?

“Marcia Fletcher, WAFN nightly news!” She introduced herself at once, her camera man there just as quickly, huffing a little from the run as he got you both in focus.

You could see the lights on on his camera as she shoved her microphone in front of you and Peter. “You’re on live coverage of the Ruffiano’s restaurant shootings with WAFN. Is it true that Giovani Marcello was apprehended here tonight by the X-Men? And how did you know he was here when he’s been on Interpol’s most wanted list for four years?”

You knew without looking at him that Peter was happily deferring the speaking role to you now as you tried not to look rattled. You attempted to think of what Charles would and wouldn’t want you to say, even with the pain in your head and lingering nausea. “We didn’t know who was here. We were in the area and saw people running and went to help, that’s all.” You lied.

“But the reports of gunshots, witnesses also said Deadpool had drawn a gun on a restaurant employee and Colossus was seen inside. Is Deadpool now affiliated with the X-Men again? Did he shoot anyone?”

“Deadpool is not affiliated with the X-Men. Colossus was here tonight, but he only would have been defending anyone he thought in danger. Deadpool did not shoot anyone.” You tried to keep to short truths that time.

“But then why was Deadpool there? Should people really believe it would be a coincidence that the X-Men and Deadpool would be at the same incidence at one time if not working together?”

“Well you’re here aren’t you? Are you affiliated with us?” You replied before you could stop yourself, though still restraining the annoyance you really wanted to put into that statement. “Trouble attracts a crowd.”

Peter made a sound, a restrained laugh you knew. But before the reporter could blurt out another question, one of the now growing number of paparazzi called out, “(Your codename), hey look here! Is it true you and Quicksilver are still dating!?”

You knew better than to be baited, humoring any of them just made it worse. They were like piranhas. But Peter couldn’t help it, turning to look as so many cameras flashed. His arm slid around you protectively. “Why wouldn’t we be, dude?” He called back.

“Are you saying the photos of (your codename) and Gambit were before you two reconciling?”

It took every ounce of your self control to not respond, but oh God did you want to. It was the mission in Tanzania. You knew it. You, Storm, and Gambit. Peter had stayed in the U.S. for that one as it’d been the holidays and his Mom had wanted both he and Wanda over for some time together.

After the mission was over, the three of you had ended up on one of the beautiful Tanzanian beaches for a single day. Just a single day to yourselves.

You’d had the audacity to wear a revealing bathing suit though and you and Remy had been photographed together, him shirtless of course because it was a goddamn beach. And laughing and smiling because, surprise, you were friends! And they’d cropped Ororo out in all the closeups for complete loss of context.

It’d been a thing in some of the tabloids for a while, but you really thought that had finally blown over. Of course if anyone asked Remy, he liked to play coy on the whole subject to keep up his God’s gift to all men and women sex symbol status.

“Peter, let’s just go,” You whispered in his ear, sure anything else said would only make things worse.

But you could read him all too well, and when he turned his face to look back at you, you already knew what he was going to do. You didn’t try to stop him, because never would you humiliate him on live television with any type of rejection, but oh, you would never live this one down. Never.

He kissed you hard. And there was nothing fake about it, honestly the kind of kiss usually reserved for your bedroom as you felt heat rising up in you. The camera flashes clicking over and over as you could still taste the alcohol he’d drank before.

When he finally released you again, you gasped a little. He gave the photographers a ‘fuck you’ look, before speaking just to you. “Now we can go.”

“Fly or run?” You breathed.

“Fly please. I’m still about half out of it.” He admitted.

You powered up to some surprised and excited sounds from the crowd. Your whole body glowing white again in the energy you emitted.

“Wait, aren’t you going to stay and talk to the police!?” The reporter shouted.

“They know where to find us if they need us.” You answered, extending your energy field around Peter, before you took off vertically, making sure to get sideways over the rooftops as soon as you could though to breakup their camera angles and finally give you privacy again at last.

You landed gently atop the parking garage only a few moments later, letting him go again as you powered back down.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked, just taking your hand again though.

“No.” You said truthfully. “But, I have no idea what we’ve really just done. We still have to go home...home where the Professor always watches the 10:00 news with his late night tea.”

Peter sighed, only half joking. “We could always go stay with my Mom for a while?”

You just moved in closer, pulling him against you as you laid your head on his shoulder. “We’ll survive, babe. Somehow we always do.”

“I think that says more about you than me though. Pretty sure I’d be face down in a ditch somewhere already if it weren’t for you.”

You chuckled, wrapping your arms around his neck then before raising your head back up to kiss him once more. Much softer this time, and even longer than his jealous little display a few minutes ago.

He made one of his little noises of contentment, hands sliding down to squeeze your butt through the thin pants you were wearing. As he pulled your hips tighter against him, he broke the kiss enough to speak regretfully. “I really was hoping to get lucky tonight...”

“Same.” You smiled. It had been a while. Mostly from you both being so tired by the time you finally got in bed. Passing out on each other had more been the norm the past couple weeks. “We get some food in you, and see where things go?”

“Gross! Get a room!”

You startled at the sudden shouting, having wholly thought yourselves alone up here in the moonlight.

Peter rolled his eyes, yelling back at Russell, “Kid, we have one! And we’d already be back there by now if it wasn’t for your little mafia hunting shenanigans!”

You looked over to see Deadpool and Russell both standing in the doorway to the parking garage stairs.

Wade whistled, leaning back against the doorframe. “Way to take down that Marcia Fletcher a notch! I always found her too uppity to be honest. I think she’s still butt hurt that they didn’t give her the lead anchor spot when Carl Sanderson moved to the early bird morning show. Tanya Meyer on the 5:00 news though, that’s my girl.”

You blinked. “How...how do you know-” It was literally minutes ago, it would have taken them just this long to walk here.

Deadpool lifted up his cell phone. “Facebook live, bitches. Don’t you follow WAFN? The recipes they post from Saturday morning cooking with Pat are always delish.” He looked back down at the phone though, happily reading. “Hah! Peggy Fredrickson from Brewster, New York thinks Marcia’s contouring and drawn on eyebrows are getting worse. Fire your makeup person, Marcia.” He tapped something on the screen. “Like comment! Oh, and Michael Morris from Ridgefield says who wouldn’t do Remy LeBeau. Damn, Michael, all out and proud on main.”

Peter let go of you, taking an annoyed breath. But then looking back to you. “Please let me at least prank Remy, something, anything.”

“But he didn’t do anything.” You replied, though only more stressed now that this was already blowing up on social media.

“Exactly! He should have at least denied it! But no, Mr. cool Cajun can’t admit that you’d actually choose me over him.”

“Hey now, I think you’re looking at this the wrong way, Quickie.” Deadpool interjected. “There’s always the ménage à trois option. I mean he’s French right? And Michael from Ridgefield is just spitting truth. Who wouldn’t want to do Remy LeBeau? He could shuffle my cards anytime.”

“You guys are so fucking weird.” Russell groaned. “Can we go find your damn car now?”

But you didn’t move yet, still looking fully at Peter. “Wade’s just trying to get under your skin. We all know how Remy is. He’d flirt with a piece of cardboard if it suited him. It doesn’t mean anything to him.” You recognized that Gambit was physically attractive of course, you had eyes too after all. But that was the only extent of it. You loved Peter. Not to mention you wouldn’t at all want to get on Rogue’s bad side. She and Gambit were tumultuous enough without someone else being added to the mix.

“This is adorable, really. But I did bring ‘good job team for sending a little girl selling, gentrification funding, pencil dick mob boss to butt fucking federal prison’ cannolis. Want some?” Deadpool offered, lifting up a large takeout box you somehow hadn’t noticed before.

Peter’s shoulders dropped a little, still heavily annoyed though eyeing the box. “So does this mean you’re coming back with us too?”

Wade shrugged, “The kid doesn’t know you guys. What kind of daddy would I be if I didn’t at least go and make sure he actually wanted to stay in your little mutant commune before I ditch him there?”

“You aren’t my damned dad.” Russell said, though almost sounding too tired to argue further at this point. He reached up, taking a cannoli from the box and biting into it as he started to walk back down the stairwell. “What floor is the car on?”

“Just one down from here, you already passed it. Black SUV,” you answered. Colossus and Kitty must not have been here yet if Wade and Russell had made it all the way to the top deck without finding them.

Peter grabbed your hand again, walking with you to the doorway as he grabbed three cannolis out the box begrudgingly with his other hand. He passed one off to you, before biting into the other two in quick succession.

And you only had a moment to see all the thick scarring under Wade’s mask as he lifted it just enough to start eating one himself, before turning to follow you both out and down the stairwell.

———————————

(Concluded in Part 2 here)

[mountmortar]

You can find the Ghetsis event on YouTube, just by typing pokemon masters father or foe. I highly recommend it because it involves N and Silver and their relationship with their fathers is the main point of the entire event. So I think you gonna like it.

thank you!!! i'm putting my reactions under a readmore because they're very long smh

so i actually loved watching through this (even if i can't stand the voice acting which is usually why i avoid pokémas anyway) because watching n make his own decisions after growing up and being manipulated into seeing the world in such a black and white manner.....amazing. 10/10. i loved it. anytime ghetsis came on the screen i was like FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU so pretty much like the rest of the fandom lmao. and i loved watching alder act like an actual father figure to him.....orange dad......

but also i took screenshots of Moments. even though i feel bad because most of them are of silver and this event is n-centric PLEASE GOD KNOW THAT I DID ACTUALLY FOCUS ON N AND HIS STORY AND I'M NOT TRYING TO DRAW ATTENTION AWAY FROM HIM SJSNWKENEK

when silver goes HE'S YOUR SON???? i can feel the "your dad is an evil team leader too? solidarity" bond forming. happened right here

EMPATHY HE'S EMPATHIZING HE GETS IT

alder speaking straight facts tbh there is nothing more complicated than family. and then ghetsis goes and acts like a total bitch about it. n sweetie i am SO sorry you came all this way just for this you deserve SO much better i cannot BELIEVE some musty ass bitch like ghetsis would even have the audacity to look in your direction

SILVER GROWING FUCKING ENRAGED AT THE SIGHT OF GIOVANNI AND THEN BEING LIKE "YOU KNOW WHAT? HE'S NOT WORTH MY TIME. THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS AT HAND" WE LOVE TO SEE IT WE LOVE TO SEE IT IGNORING THE MAN WHO DITCHED YOU ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD JUST LIKE HE IGNORED YOU I LOVE IT

silver being surrounded by protagonists is probably a source of eternal stress. he's trying to do the practical thing and leave and n and nate are out here like NO WE HAVE TO STAY........AND BATTLE. and silver's just like are you guys insane? do you have worms for brains? are you fucking stupid??? CAN WE LEAVE???? the self-preservation is strong with this one he would ditch all these evil team leaders' complicated plans and monologues for a corn chip

I'M GOING TO REBLOG THIS WITH MORE HANG ON

[undoundue]

i don’t know anything except how stories go

i don’t know anything except how stories go

the music isn't as good as i thought it would be

i'm not sure if i've taken enough drugs or too much

when i take too much, i get grandiose: big ideas. little follow-through.

when i take not enough, i also get grandiose, but i know it,

and i sound like a graveyard glass harmonica when

the wind passes through. when i take the right amount, i do not ask

whether i've taken enough drugs or too much.

instead i hallucinate that i'm a cicada, an elegant disgusting jewel

smithed by mommy nature to reproduce a tinny song,

and i'm grateful to my parents

and the 17 years i spent gestating

and this morbid cherry tree

because nobody buckles their tymbals like i. also, cicadas lack

the relevant receptors altogether,

so the dosing question doesn't apply.

(beat) say,

have you noticed that zoomers are really into columbo?

(you nod)

i've seen him on twitter twice lately, asking "just one more

question—which would you prefer as an afternoon snack?"

and there's a poll, cheez-its

or little debbie snack cakes.

the appeal, i think, is to a generational forgetfulness, to

a generation most in need of alarm clocks and aricept,

to the desire to see forgetfulness as a superpower, as an

equivalent to innocence, to be so impervious to

reality's demands. but haven't we been here

before? didn't milennials all die for the sin of inventing "retro

gaming"? and by the way,

did you hear the one about the guy who gave himself three-hundred

and ninety-one concussions, each time suffering retrograde amnesia

which knocked out his memory of his last pokemon red playthrough?

ah. ah yes. it is not a tale the jedi would tell you.

when i take too much, i get despondent. when i take not enough, i

get grandiose. but the line breaks are for the poet's benefit anyway.

besides, there are kids smoking brick weed in lebanon, we should be

thankful for what we have.

and hex maniac is pretty cute. her pupils spiral

counterclockwise,

going from out to in; in some of the fan art they go the other way but

you can tell those guys don't "get it"; the allure of a counterclockwise

spin on how you are perceived, to have your silhouette distorted

and your details properly misunderstood, to lose at games you've

never heard of it, to eat with chopsticks incorrectly,

to trip and fall and look at the sidewalk and say "thank you.

yes. i had grown complacent in my patterns, my

nucleus accumbens

was running on fumes; and i certainly wasn't expecting that!" and

mean it. i did this once. i was in a state of rare tranquility after

masturbating for sixteen consecutive hours (essentially a

performance enhancing drug for meditation—which is why,

in the tibetan olympics, strict no-fap is required for a week

before competition—and they take semen samples to be sure!)

so (you nod), when the buddha saw me

so grateful for life's misfortunes, he made a "look

at this fucking guy" gesture to ganesh and then said "look at this

fucking guy" as if the gesture wasn't enough. naturally,

i was offended, and besides i recalled the old koan "If you meet the

Buddha on the road, kill him," which i had read in a collection

of koans for children titled "If you meet the Buddha..." which

my Mom had purchased for me in the novelty gift section

of an urban outfitters in santa barbara ("Mom, why are you shopping

at urban outftters?" "son, yr mama just tryin' ta stay cool. say, you

heard of this MF DOOM cat?" "ugh! Mom!") and which had

such thought-provoking aphorisms as:

"If you meet the Buddha in an airport, buy him a cheeseburger."

"If you meet the Buddha at a dive bar, play him some new wave—the

Buddha is big into that shit." the idea being, you're prepared for any

circumstance, which is what buddhism is all about. so i did a

bunch of fast attacks; the buddha blocked; i said "shouldn't

it be all the same to you if i kill you?" the buddha said "it would,

except i want to get home and watch columbo, and i don't

want to wait to respawn." i said, "jesus. just—jesus." then the buddha

kicked me through a brick wall. everyone in the WeWork

screamed and fled, leaving their kombucha behind, and

for some reason the sprinklers went off. then, after the initial

impact, a lone brick fell (because of torque—force times the length of

the lever, remember) and hit me comically on the head, causing a

concussion. i said "guh."

yup, (you nod sympathetically),

i was feeling mighty grim. then it occurred to me: why don't i

play pokémon red? unfortunately, on my cellphone i only had

the romhack version, you know, where all the pokémon are allegories

for depression. so you got your depressionmander, depressioneleon,

depressionizard, and for pokémon where that doesn't work

they use it as a suffix, e.g. bulbadepression, ivydepression,

venudepression. also you can't leave the starting room and

your character moves really slowly. the indie gaming press

loves it. one of the features that reviewers single out is

that, instead of a lone Stand By Me reference, the TV in your room

goes line by line through Aguirre, the Wrath of God, except the

murders are replaced with pokémon battles and at the end

aguirre tries to command a horde of mankeys ("depressionkeys"),

which is a metaphor. dark stuff. it makes me think back on my youth:

lying on my child-king sized bed, masturbating to polyhedral

stellations, suffering from severe geometric dysmorphia as i

compared myself to the grandeur of those idealized forms—god, i

used to hate myself for those wasted hours. i mean, i still do, but i

used to, too. only after years of therapy have i developed a mantra

that eases the pain:

"i am mostly a cylinder.

i am mostly a cylinder." presto. you can get off to anything, even

loomis.

(you nod, hesitantly.) on saturday night,

i throw open the window and scream at the children: "you'll get old

too! an abstractome of brittle opinions even as your bumbling

homunculus drops the data you once used to back them up!"

the children reply "not necessarily, given the rate of advances in

biotech. also, no one cares, grandpa." they play soccer. my

mad pilgrim hair blows in the wind. i scream: "suffer! suffer! i am

omniscience!" they say: "oh yeah? how many fingers am i

holding up?" "four! five! four!" "it was five, you old fart." "the thumb

doesn't count as a finger! you should have a specified!" "OK, new

game: what sort of person am i?" "you are—you are—!" and so

i peer into their souls and know the answer, but i can't

find the words. the words do not come. i have forgotten them.

silently i draw away from the window. the children smirk, but only for

a moment. for they know i am right.

ah, to reveal the soul's heist, to be seen through by the omniscient

and powerless, what a delight! who among us would not cheerfully

kill the buddha when he's comin' through the rye? who among us

has not been blessed by the kind words of a stranger? and yet, we

shouldn't incentivize people to be strangers. society would collapse.

besides, we are no longer strangers to ourselves, you and i.

(you nod.) we will have much to discuss about that.

[gemalawashomestuck]

Gem, I saw the fic ask and I can't read that much text but I wanna know 4: do you have any ocs?

This could be homestuck ocs or personal ocs for your original works, or even something for another fandom idrc I'm just curious

If you don't have any you can just talk about dirkjohn bc ik you like them (or choose your fav thing from the actual ask game lol)

BHey! Honestly that's funny because...I didn't read it all either, just saw a few interesting questions and reblogged, heh.

But regarding 4...yeah I do! I actually have some in Homestuck, some for other fandoms (Pokemon and Warriors) as well as some personal ones. Answers below the cut because I got into it!

In Homestuck, I've got quite a few adopts that I snagged because I...cannot draw. My ability to draw is actually godawful. I love weird unconventional things that aren't supported by canon and...it shows. Some of them include a little Doom-aligned Cherub who lives on Alternia and disguises himself as a bronzeblood, a mutant naga troll with scales and bright green blood, a winged goldblood with wings covered in eyes (she's so cool), a bronze librarian with a gun, and a rainbow blooded mutant who gets out of culling on a technicality because they have fuchsia blood. There are a bunch more too and I don't have them super fleshed out but I'm still happy to talk about them if y'all want to hear.

I've also got a Pokemon fanfiction sitting in my drafts that would be a full ten anime seasons long. Yeah that's not an exaggeration. The main OC is named Phoenix, and she's kind of a modification of the canon protagonist Hilda (though, her adventure actually starts in Kalos). She's a weird girl who fucking loves Pokemon battling and has too much of a stubborn streak for anybody's good. By the end of the story, she's a multi-regional Champion with an Arceus and a match in ability in the form of N, who's the Hero of Ideals to her Hero of Truth and they've got a...complicated relationship. You...may be able to tell that I think the concept of Mary Sues is stupid. All her Pokemon are also kind of OCs, due to the detail in their personalities - a favorite of mine is a very old transfem and aroace Ho-Oh who played a major role in the creation of the world and who she accidentally calls 'mom' at least twice.

My other major Pokemon AU, with a working title of Many Legends, also has a good few! The main protagonist is a young professor who specializes in Legendary Pokemon, which in this AU exist in multiples and can be caught by regular people (with a permit that's pretty hard to get, and some Legendaries require additional permits beyond the basic one). Her name is Professor Wisteria, and she's very chill but treats literal death gods like adorable kittens. Part of her job, especially since she's new in the field, is to check in on people who have Legendaries or are working towards permits, and to check in on wild Legendaries who live alongside humans or otherwise are amenable to being checked on. One of her very notable clients is a middle-aged farmer (he raises several Pokemon for things like milk and eggs, but also breeds starters for the local professor) who had to emergency start working towards a permit after discovering an Yveltal egg abandoned in his coop and, shortly after, having a young Mewtwo created in an unethical experiment show up at his doorstep asking for shelter. Because everyone who has a Yveltal is required to have a contact who has or is close to a Xerneas (or do so themselves) for safety reasons, he comes into contact with an older widower who keeps a Xerneas that's a family heirloom - it was born under the care of her great-grandmother, and will pass to her kids and grandkids when she passes away. She definitely encourages him to think about the far future, as Mewtwo only live a bit longer than humans do but Xerneas and Yveltal, like some others, can live for hundreds of years.

My Warriors OCs aren't much to write home about, unfortunately - there's a couple, and they're all hilariously overpowered (and fun). For my personal OCs...I tried to write a novel or several when I was in sixth grade, a dream I hope to revisit someday. Of course, they had their own cast of original characters - notably including a pair of genetically engineered lesbian generals named Lightning and Angel. They're fun :)

Because I feel like it, I'll also answer your other stuff - Dirkjohn is fucking awesome. It's a closeish second favorite ship for me, behind Johndave. I write...kind of a lot of them haha. I'm clearing quite a few drafts at the moment, but I have 70+ dirkjohn drafts even ignoring anything involving polyamory or splinters. My first ever ship fic was Dirkjohn! It's "Searching" on my AO3, it's definitely not my best work (again, first romance fic) but it was a lot of fun to write. Other people have written incredible analyses on dirkjohn and why it would work, but for me I read some fucking awesome dirkjohn fics and got hooked on the dynamic. One dirkjohn fic that I'm working on right now is based on a dream I had, where they (along with others) are stuck in a time loop, in which the world ends when they're both 23 and they live their whole lives over and over again. It's a getting-together fic and very cute despite the setting.

Just because, I'll answer a few other questions!

Hilariously, my answer to No. 1 (Which of your fics would you keep the basic plot of but rewrite completely?) is...Searching. Yep, the one I just mentioned. The basic premise is really good, but I think I made quite a few mistakes lol. The other one, that I didn't initially count because I'm literally already doing that, is We Live Again - I had a really ambitious set of ideas for it and accidentally wrote myself into a corner with the help of shoddy organization and a nearly nonexistent outline. So, I'm planning to come back to that one.

And 16, are oneshots underrated? HELL yes they are. I fucking love oneshots, they're the main thing I read rn and the main thing I'm writing! Not everything has to be a federal fucking issue lol, it's nice to just bang the keyboard for a while and make a cute little distilled plot, especially when it's for a punchline.

[bangtanger]

CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW

was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks​ @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm 

also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3

❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020 

ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)

❀ a creation u r really proud of 

well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol  1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)

❀ a creation that took u forever

ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part 

❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes

whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)

❀ a creation u think deserved more notes 

lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol

❀  a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it 

i didnt join anything heurheru

❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart

OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T

❀  a ‘simple’ creation that u really love

this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol

❀  a favourite creatin created by someone else

oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(

@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....

@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj

@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss

@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T

@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T

@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s 

@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj

@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........

@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1

@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....

@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T

@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here

@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T

@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks  T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!

@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME

@joenns  I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T 

@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!

@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T

@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN

@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3

@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE

@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T

@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY

@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno

@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE

OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL 

❀  some of your favourite content creators from this year

ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3

OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan

[still-a-morosexual-help]

OBEY ME! LESSON 46 DETAILED SUMMARY + THEORIES

This lesson’s got two locked chapters that I can’t unlock :’)

D takes them to the casino where they meet Mammon in the Lamp event outfit. When he laughs and tells them that they must have forgotten who he is if they think they can take the money MC ignores all of this to ask him wtf he’s wearing. Mammon blushes and tells them that they have no right to criticize what he’s wearing considering what they’re wearing. Then he says also Lucifer wtf happened to you!? He laughs and teases Lucifer about getting shrunk and how he could accidentally step on him and kill him rn or how Beel might eat him as a snack. I saw someone say that Mammon was a little shit who was also BabyTM and like Yess!??? I love when we get to see more of the asshole side of him specially when we already know how soft he is. Man’s an onion :’) Beel says he wouldn’t do that unless Lucifer hid inside a piece of cake and Beel swallowed him whole without realising. Lucifer, off screen: “You’d better realise I was there!” And Like??? That’s the point Lucifer wants to argue? Not the fact that he wouldn’t hide inside a cake? Mammon says whatever and that he’ll take Lucifer from them so he can have fun with his new toy anyway RIP to Mammon who dies after this lesson. “Mammon, Avatar of Greed, Appears”- gonna have Pokemon Battles from now on, I can’t believe this what this dating sim has evolved into :D Mammon uses wind to lift Lucifer up and bring him towards him. MC has a flashback to the previous night and commands Beel who transforms into a demon and whose body starts moving on its own, Beel then cancels out Mammon’s spell and uses a wind spell to send Mammon flying. Beel transforms back to his human form and is shocked by what happened. Solomon says MC did a good job commanding Beel though they weren’t able to draw out all his powers. They get the armour, which Beel thinks is too flashy but MC tells him it looks great which he is happy about. D tells them about a rumour of Satan attacking a town up north.

As they walk through the woods Lucifer talks about how much he’s gonna love beating the shit outta Mammon when he’s back to normal and waves MC off when they ask him to go easy on Mammon. Beel says that Lucifer used to be a lot nicer to Mammon in the celestial realm and how the two of them would team up to go argue with Raphael. Solomon asks if it was Diavolo who got Lucifer to change and what exactly Lucifer had to do to reach the status they now enjoy in the Devildom. Beel seems shocked at this and ask Lucifer if it’s true. He says he doesn’t remember. There’s growling & they’re suddenly surrounded by ghosts. Solomon: Oh yeah lol this is called the Black Phantom Forest. Everyone else: WHY the FUCK didn’t you say so before!? They run from the ghosts and set up camp beside a lake, MC & Beel talk. Beel says how they’ve all changed from their time in the Celestial Realm and he can’t remember when he stopped resisting the urge to constantly eat. But how somethings are still the same and how the brothers have always been together and how they always will be. He brings up the three things the butcher said to maintain a long relationship and how even though they may sometimes falter at the “respect each other” part when it comes down to it the brothers have all three things with each other (Not me sobbing like a baby. It’s the found family trope for me guys). Beel says how he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to fight Belphie if they meet him in the game and how he has so many people who he loves that he doesn’t know who to put first and that he knows many people would kill to have that kinda problem and that as both an angel and a demon he’s being lucky to have the people he loves. MC gets to hold his hand, lean on his shoulder or say nothing and guys I love Beel so much he’s just so pure god. Okay so theory part: I 100% believe (& it’s implied in canon and in the chats too) and the main reason Lucifer is so mean to Mammon now is because he’s scared if he doesn’t discipline him then Diavolo will and he’ll end up with another Lilith situation. That being said I NEED to know how Lucifer came across Mammon in the celestial realm and what he said to make Mammon so loyal to him. PLS om! Give me the boys backstory? I like to think Lucifer raised Mammon the same way Simeon is raising Luke and that’s why you can see some of Lucifer’s traits in Mammon whenever he becomes serious about something and why Mammon sometimes slips up and calls Lucifer “Dad” and why Lucifer becomes so happy about it. I also think the others would have been older than Mammon was when he first met Lucifer, when they eventually joined the family which is why they share far less traits with Lucifer and why (as far as we know) none of them have called Lucifer ‘dad”. If this is true it also brings up a real interesting dynamic between Satan and Mammon that would be useful when writing fics. You know a little deeply buried resentment and envy about Lucifer having been more of a father figure to Mammon than to the person who is technically his actual son, and since we know for a fact that right after arriving in the Devildom Lucifer starts going through an existential crisis and Mammon’s the one who steps up to look after the others I 100% believe Mammon’s the one who did most of the work in raising a newly created Satan and who taught him how to control his anger so well (cause lets be real it definitely couldn’t be any of the others) which also gives backstory to Satan’s “do you think Mammon’s actually the most decent of us” homescreen comment and more importantly adds spice to the relationship dynamic you can work with in fics.

When they wake up Beel is thankful that they didn’t get eaten. Solomon: not like you would have noticed with all the fun you had *wink wink* Lucifer: wtf Solomon:*WINK WINK* Me: bro they were just talking…  they find out game time and real world time pass differently and come across a treasure chest in the middle of their path. Solomon: Lets open it! :D Lucifer: Expect that’s definitely a trap… Solomon: Exactly! Which is why we should open it! :D MC: Lets open it! :D Lucifer: Why is the entire human species so fucking stupid!? Why were you created without any self preservation!? Who approved this!?  They find medicine, a warding bottle and cat ears. …They put Lucifer into the bottle and Lucifer’s really going through it in this huh. But opening the chest pulls up an inescapable battle with the final boss, and Satan pops up fully immersed in the villain role with an evil laugh and everything. Luci asks MC to use something from the chest and they use the cat ears and Lucifer’s disappointed when they actually work. But it only deals 222 damage to Satan’s 870k HP. Satan paralyses them all and steals bottled lucifer and calls Belphie to finish the others off. I can’t remember if I mentioned this before but how did the brothers know that Lucifer was gonna be mini before they even got home, it would’ve had to be quite a bit in advance for them to so perfectly set up everything… And you know Solomon was really determined to open that chest (I mean so was MC but the whole of season 1 was establishing that their curiosity was gonna get them killed) so…

MC tells Belphie they don’t want to fight him and Belphie says he doesn’t want to fight either but at the same time Satan agreed to give him mine lucifer for a whole day if he defeats them. Beel’s still reluctant and Belphie says Beel doesn’t have to worry cause Belphie isn’t the same small/weak person that Beel always had to protect (and holy shit I need more info on this too?). Beel eventually agrees and says that Belphie’s strong, he tells MC that they weren’t able to use his entire power against Mammon cause he was holding himself back unconsciously but that he was ready now. MC makes Beel do a bunch of wind attacks and they defeat Belphie who’s impressed. Beel says that the magic was actually MC doing it not him (even though he was the one that executed it). Belphie says he’ll join their party if MC promises him that he’ll be allowed to poke at mini luci. MC tells him there’s a damned line and he’ll have to wait his turn. Solomon wonders if MC should be going around giving the right to annoy lucifer to others but also he wants that right too. Even though Lucifer was kidnapped since he’s still in the bottle he’ll be protected so MC’s test is still ongoing. Odd that there was a bottle that would protect Lucifer should he get kidnapped in the chest that was a trap… look we all know Solomon is shady enough that he’s probably behind this right?

During dinner at a tavern the twins are sickeningly soft with each other and Solomon watches them with a smile. For the night the twins end up sharing a room with each other, with Mc and Solomon alone together. In the middle of the night MC wakes up to Solomon still up and looking sad. They ask him what’s up. He says despite how much they walked he still isn’t tired and that seeing the twins together made him lonely. Seeing how much they love and care and understand each other and how they were always together made him wish he had something similar but how when you didn’t age it was difficult to from lasting bonds like that in the human world. MC tells him that all of them care about him and he says he hopes so. Solomon: Lol just the two of us in a room in a game, wouldn’t it be crazy if we made out? MC can either kiss him or kinda stare awkwardly. If they choose the second he apologises for suddenly putting them on the spot and says he won’t try anything else. So this might be kinda an unpopular opinion and I’m genuinely really happy that the side characters are getting more screen time and development because I desperately needed that but I’m not really onboard the romancing option with them? I’m happy they’ve got their own cards now and I love the devilgram stories and romance options in them but I don’t think it makes sense in the context of the main storyline? Barbatos has almost no interaction with MC and though they haven’t shown it yet it’d be weird if he was suddenly into MC. Diavolo spent 2 whole seasons simping over Lucifer why is MC suddenly an option? Besides Diavolo always seems so lonely and I really want him and MC to be really good friends, I want Diavolo to have a friendship where there isn’t some condition that hangs over it like there is with his relationship with Barbatos and Lucifer. The same goes with Solomon. I just want him to have a good solid friendship where there isn’t expectations or power between them. He also initially only seems interested in MC for their power and as a way to train them and eventually genuinely softens up to them, Just the request to kiss seemed outta nowhere? I don’t know why but with Simeon he seems above crushes? I always imagine him seeing MC as another cute kid Lucifer picked up (despite MC being an adult) and having a sort of soft indulgent attitude towards them. I don’t know I think I just want MC to have some friends who aren’t trying to sleep with them.

Solomon is extremely chipper the next morning and Belphie grumpily makes a comment about him having fun and sdfjdvnsjdokd they just talked. Belphie uses his magic to teleport them to Satan’s castle and Beel asked why he couldn’t do that the previous night, Belphie says grumpily cause then Solomon would have missed out on the fun and Solomon agrees and THEY JUST TALKED!? Satan has managed to transform Lucifer into wolf Lucifer and is shaking his bottle hard enough to make Luci wanna puke while Lucifer asks him to stop. MC tells satan to stop and he tells them they won’t be able to defeat him cause they skipped right to the boss battle without taking the long route and levelling up. MC says they’re not gonna fight him cause this whole thing is fucking stupid. Satan says it’s not cause he’s having fun. MC gives him one of their free therapy sessions about how important the bonds between he and his brothers are and how they don’t care more about helping the brothers all get along than some stupid star. Beel comes out spitting facts, saying they all know that Satan actually cares about Lucifer and how that embarrasses him and how he needs to stop hiding it by lashing out. And how Lucifer needs to get his shit together and be honest with satan. That he needs to tell Satan that Lucifer knows he’s his own demon and a really good demon at that. Lucifer says FYI but I never said you weren’t your own great person and Satan blushes and says that unless he wants to look childish he has no option but to accept the olive branch. He tosses Luci to MC. Belphie complains about having stupid older brothers and Solomon says he’s disappointed in Satan and reveals himself as the true secret final boss and FUCK YEAH! I CALLED THAT SHIT! Kinda – I thought he might have just given them a heads up about Luci’s condition. On a different note, Satan needs serious therapy. They all do tbh.

Solomon congratulates MC on what they’ve done so far but says they still haven’t accessed Beel’s full potential and that he’ll give his ‘adorable apprentice’ one more shit at it. Solomon summons Asmo who complains about how long he was made to wait and how he nearly gave up and went to the spa and that no one likes a selfish man. Solomon tells Asmo that he can tell him all this after they get back to the real world and I genuinely want the backstory of how they met and just more about their relationship. At Solomon’s command Asmo uses charm and paralyses Beel and at MC’s Beel uses another wind attack. Asmo says he’s never seen beel do something of this calibre before and he seems more powerful, even more than he was in the celestial realm, Asmo yells at Solomon for just standing and seeming impressed instead of helping him. There’s a bright white light.

Back home with everything back to normal Beel, Lucifer and MC are hanging out by the pool. Lucifer is in an unexpectedly good mood and MC has earned a star, which glows slightly from its place on the symbol etched to the back of their hand. Inside Solomon is feeding the other brothers as punishment. Mammon is sobbing his heart out and Levi is out cold (possibly dead). Satan is given Levi’s remaining share of food and Asmo is in tears. Belphie had made a run for it the second they got home and is nowhere to be found. Solomon talks about how nice Lucifer actually is and how he really loves his brothers cause he just made Solomon make them dinner instead of punishing any of them…. Love that the canonical reason why none of these demons tell Solomon about his food and allow themselves to get tortured is cause they don’t wanna be rude and hurt his feelings. And he thought no one cared about him. If that isn’t love I dunno what is. Beel and MC take a walk while Lucifer sits by the pool and in his words basks in “their screams of agony” While blushing beel says he’s grateful for what happened and how that star is proof that they got closer. Mc can either thank him or say that the star belongs to him. I think they kiss after the second option? For the first Beel says MC’s the one who did the work of drawing out his power. Over the echoing screams from inside Beel asks if they feel like they forgot something and ndfjkfjkdjfefjkn THEY FORGOT DIAVOLO I’M!!!!???? poor baby

[19thcenturyedgelord]

TW: Transphobia, Homophobia, abuse, neglect, p3dophilia, s3xual assault, su!cide, alcohol

~Vent~

My mother is constantly saying that they is only two gender and is always dead naming me, the one time I get her to say my preferred name she rolls her eyes and scoffs as she says it.

My mother has told me my whole life that she owns me and that I don't get to make any decisions for myself, she was dressing me until I was disowned at 14.

My mother would threaten to k!ll herself is I ever did something she didn't like, this includes: having a panic attack, dealing with over stimulation, trying to dress myself, telling her to stop walking in on me while I was showering/changing, going to bed early, going to bed late, saying I was hungry, asking to be allowed to go outside, wearing my headphones, not being strictly christian/not eating kosher, ect.

My mother got rid of my pet hermit crabs without telling me and was constantly trying to release my turtles even though they would die in the wild and they were being taken care of very well with a large, clean tank and plenty of food and hiding places, a special light that was good for their shell, and a great water to land ratio.

My mother slut shamed me because I was wearing shorts that went above my knees (they were perfectly appropriate btw).

My mother would scream at me for hours if I got anything less than a 100% on a test and even if I did get a 100% she would ask me why I didn't get any extra credit even if there was none available and even if I'd did get extra credit she would ask why I didn't get MORE extra credit.

While I lived with my mother I had a diet of nothing but microwave meals and chips and chips because she spent all of her money on vape, cigarettes, and alcohol. I would constantly be near unconsciousness due to my low blood sugar because I had nothing to eat.

She has slapped me across the face multiple times, one time with sharp plastic that cut my chin, she did this as a punishment. One time she slapped me because my blood sugar was low and I was grumpy, this is how it went down:

Me: Hey I know you wanna talk right now but can I make some food first my blood sugar is low this should take me 20 minutes max"

Her: No, I'm you mother and your going to talk to me right now

Me: Can I please just get something to eat

Her: *yells at me wich causes me to get distracted*

Me: *spills uncooked mac&cheese because distracted*

Her: *yells at me then slaps me across the face*

My mother nearly beat me to unconsciousness because she was very drunk, I had bruises all over me the next morning but I was to afraid to say anything because I new she would scream at me and hurt me more.

She molested me daily, forced me to change in front of her, forcefully spooned me in bed for hours even after I said no, and would "playfully" spank me.

She was constantly talking about how sexy a 17 year old at her work was and even bought him vape. She would also talk about some of my friends like that and even tried to internet stalk two of them, we are all minors.

She would lock the door to the apartment and wouldn't give me a key and would force me to wait outside in knee deep snow for hours without any warm clothing because she stole it all. She also refused to drive me to school in -8 degree (f) weather because she didn't want to loose her parking spot. I was also forced to bike to and from band practice (with she forced me to to do because she wanted to live through me) in 30 degree (f) with heavy rain because she didn't want to loose her parking spot.

She would consistently make fun of me for reading or doing anything that I enjoyed because I was a "nerd" and a "looser"

She disowned me after she stole my phone, went through it and found out I was a lesbian.

I couldn't even go into my yard without telling her where I was going, if I didn't tell her I would be screamed at and not allowed out my room, for a day and then not allowed out of the house for two more weeks.

She routinely went through my phone and my belongings without my permission, knowledge, or consent, in case I had anything "suspicious".

I tried moving in with my dad and she sued him.

She stole my most prized pokemon cards, a bag, most of my clothes, all of my old toys, and over $200 from my in the span of two weeks.

My room didn't have a door and she positioned herself so that she had to go through my room to get anywhere else in the house.

She would frequently lock the bathroom door so that it was only accessable from her room.

I told her I like pop music and she called me a failure then continued to play her extremely s3xual, vulgar, music about dr*gs, alcohol, and r@pe.

From the time I was 8 she tried to force me to drink alcohol because its "cool"

She forcefully pushed me against a wall because I refused to give her a hug after she made an offensive joke and I called her out for it.

She screamed at me because I corrected her after she misgendered me.

I had to learn morse code just so I could speak to my friends without her knowing what I was saying.

When I started counseling because I wanted to k!ll myself and because I was having upwards and 15-25 panic attacks per day, she forced me to tell her everything that happened in counseling even if I didn't want to.

She always gangs up on me in fights but if I try to get back up she just yells at me more.

She refused to take me to the hospital when I had a concussion and forced me to go to school all week even though I could barely stand or speak and now I have verbal and motor tics which she makes fun of.

She would scream at me because I sit down in the shower even though I have arthritis. (Yes I have arthritis at 15, it runs in the family and before to long I might develop psoriasis, I have shitty genes)

I wasn't allowed to wear anything that revealed my shoulders, that was low cut, shower any part of my stomach or back, short that went above my knees, ect.

I wasn't allowed to get my hair cut below my chin because it " wasn't feminine enough"

I wasn't allowed to have anything that was "for boys" this included clothes, toys, books, stickers, blankets, posters, movies, ect.

She forced me to watch R rated movies with her even if I didn't feel comfortable watching them.

I wasn't allowed to have any friends over and I wasn't allowed to go to any friends house, the one time I did have friends over she judged all of them and tried me to stop hanging out with them after they left. My friends are all very good people and are the only reason I'm still alive rn, she was just mad that I was talking to people who weren't her.

She screamed at she because I got one (1) drop of dark green ink on her black coffee table that she got for free.

I wasn't allowed to draw any male characters because she was afraid I would get off to them or something idk (this was before I was forcefully outed)

She bought me a triple chocolate cake for my birthday once. I'm allergic to chocolate. She forgot my birthday the next year.

Anytime I would tell her about the terrible bullying that was going on she would tell me to get over it, even after I had been thrown to the ground and strangled by one of my classmates.

If I got into a new game or hobby she would either take it away or shame me for playing it.

She spent all day on the computer playing Sims 3 to the point where I had to feed myself, take care of myself, and play by myself as young as 5.

She screamed at me because while talking about Pokemon lore I mentioned how Arceus is the god of the Pokemon world and she said I shouldn't say that because it would "make god mad" ( I have nothing against christians or christianity btw, just the people who shove it down your throat like she does)

I wasn't allowed to eat or drink the last of anything (finishing a bag of chips, taking the last soda, ect.) If I did she would scream at me and slap me as punishment.

She threatened to forbid me form seeing my cousin (who for the first 11 years of my life was my only friend) if I ever "talked back" to her.

She wod frequently strangle me as a form of "tough love".

When I was 2 she tried to teach me how to swim by holding me under water over and over again, drowning is now one of my greatest fears. Luckily I did learn to swim with the help of cousin and granny and even enjoy swimming but it is hard for me to do things like wash my face in the shower or stay under water for more than a few seconds without panicking.

She never taught me how to cook but then would scream at me because I didn't know how to cook.

Her smoking inside and while driving has caused me to have some lung issues, she denies that she ever smoked near me.

She tried to take me away frome everyone in my life including my family and friends so that I could only spend time with her.

When I was in fifth grade she homeschooled me and forced me to do college lever reading, learn how to code, learn at least two other languages that weren't english, learn how to play guitar, do gymnastics, do jujitsu (japanese), do soccer, learn to sing (keep I mind I had no interest in music, but she did), do a digital homeschooling program set at a highschool level, and learn a bunch of useless skills like knot tying and making friendship bracelets because it was "feminine". This was in FIFTH FUCKING GRADE.

We didn't have a washer or dryer and she would never go to to town to get laundry done so I never had clean clothes.

If I had more that $10 I had to give the rest to her.

She tried to kidnap me once.

One time on accident I stood in a bull ant hill and got stung all over (if you don't know ants all sting at once), I was swollen all over and screaming in pain and she did nothing, not even give me ice or ointment, she just told me to be more careful.