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the-bjd-community-confess · 4 years ago

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Dear 'Anime Bad' Anon: I Want To Help I pity your situation, so please have a list of weebshit that isn't moeified, or wherein the cutesy art-style serves a greater purpose. (Note: though they won't be soft marshmallow uguuuu, they may still have issues in other ways. Some may have aged badly with regards to how society views or portrays groups or beliefs, some may have upsetting content and dark themes, and some may simply not be to your taste. Note: Anime is a genre, not a monolith, and the disparaging stereotype that it's all cute girls uwuing over their brother s-s-senpai!!! is as much of a disservice as saying all western movies are just vapid cash grab superhero movie sequels with no inegrity or thought put into them. There are indeed a lot of superhero movies, but they're not all identical schlock (megamind vs venom vs kick-ass), but even more than that, there is a wealth of creative endeavor just beyond the veil of Marvel's cape: just as there are plenty of good anime if you dig past the isekai high school harem wish fulfillment genre that no one wants to keep making but people keep making because it prints money to a very small demographic of the animation equivalent of a mobile game whale thereby allowing this frankly quite-small industry to work on engaging and worthwhile series where the budget permits, Regardless,)

Mushi-shi: -Pros: gorgeous animation, tranquil vibes, episodic stories so you can cram in an episode between classes or on your lunch break. highly recommended by the literal-who typing this out. -Cons: some themes or stories may cause emotional distress, learning to tell apart Urushibara Yuki's characters is a learning curve.

Baccano-Pros: meticulously-researched 20s-and-30s-era mafia violence with a hint of the supernatural, as a treat, told anachronistically with flair and jazz music. practically made to be binge-watched. the novels are finally getting translated into english as well. -Cons: lots of characters to keep track of, fair bit of blood and violence, some scenes or themes may be upsetting, lots of jumping around between different time periods. See Also: Durarara, another series by Ryōgo Narita with a ton of characters and a plot with more threads an overpriced sheet.

Cowboy Bebop-Pros: incredibly well-regarded, space bounty hunters are cool, episodic series that slowly takes on a plot towards the end, fantastic animation, scoring, and even dub work. -Cons: some scenes or themes may be uncomfortable, some parts have not aged quite so well, the smart doll version of the main character is ugly, you're gonna carry that weight.

Trigun-Pros: starts lighthearted, develops an increasingly investing plot as the series goes along. fictional westerns are cool. this world is made of love and peace -Cons: some scenes or themes may be upsetting, and probably will be. gun violence is naturally present, but that ain't all of it.

Hellsing (standard or Ultimate. or Abridged)Pros: vampires killing nazis. the original adaptation isn't bad, the second adaptation (ultimate) is generally viewed as an improvement. abridged is a youtube parody version that was so popular the voice actors reference it in convention interviews.Cons: a Lot of violence, even trending to the gorey side of things. Uncomfortable Themes Everywhere, but it's a horror-tinged action series about killing nazis, so that's to be expected.

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood-Pros: while the original anime was quite good, the second iteration is a large improvement. does to alchemy what naruto does to ninjas: It's Basically Battle Magic. the plot starts on a strong note and doesn't let up from there. -Cons: there are distressing scenes and themes that may or may not be tolerable to the viewer. there are moments of cheesecake and even an occasional joke or a moeblob here and there, and it's not all doom and all gloom all the time, but this doesn't detract from the abject horror-despair that comes to permeate this series as it progresses. finally understand why people on the internet respond so negatively to the name 'nina'!

[Mod: many more recs/reviews under the break, worth reading for those who like more obscure anime and animation]

Grave of the Fireflies-Pros: you will remember how to cry. it's a good reminder that one country's 'triumphs' often come at the expense of another country's people. -Cons: this movie is incredibly dark, do not watch if you are in a bad headspace. see also: Barefoot Gen, a similar tale but this time from the perspective of an actual survivor from Hiroshima.

Michiko to Hatchin-Pros: an actually diverse cast of characters tangled up in a messy and very humanizing story, interspersed with Shinichiro Watanabe's particular flare for adventure. -Cons: some scenes or themes are very likely to be distressing. can be tricky to find, too.

Mo no no Ke (not the ghibli movie, though it is also quite good.) -Pros: incredibly unique art style and pacing that draws heavily from japanese theatre traditions, every screenshot is wallpaper-worthy. -Cons: may cause motion sickness. it is a psychological horror series, and one that does not need blood, nor gore, to cause visceral emotional response in the viewer. scenes and themes will be distressing- as really, that's the point.

Tokyo Godfathers-Pros: a transwoman, a (self-identified) homeless bum, and a runaway teen girl find a newborn in the baby on christmas. incredibly wholesome, somehow, and grounded in reality, with wonderful animation from the tragically late satoshi kon. -Cons: it is grounded in realism, and sometimes, people are dicks. mild transphobia warning, too, but in-universe- the transwoman herself is portrayed with kindness and allowed to be her own (wonderful!!!) person. still, viewer be mindful.

Kino no Tabi (the first series is my preferred, the second is shinier but lacks emotional impact- in my onion.) -Pros: mostly episodic, very unique series that can be gritty where it counts and kind where it matters. -Cons: some scenes or themes might be disturbing. finding it's not easy, either, and unfortunately, i don't think the novels are being translated right now, either.

Spice and Wolf-Pros: it's mostly about economics. there are shenanigans, a harvest god, and a slowly burgeoning romance, sure, but it's still mostly about economics. -Cons: there are moments of cheesecake and comedy, and moments that may cause distress to the viewer. it may or may not be to your taste.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica-Cons: yeah i know, it's moeblobs. -Pros: you're gonna watch 'em die, though, in case that may interest you. it's quite a good subversion of the magical girl genre overall. somehow volks hasn't made an MDD of anyone from the series and i will never understand how that didn't happen.

Wolf Children: Ame to Yuki-Pros: watch a family grow together as a newly-single mother does her best to raise her twin children after the tragic loss of their father. -Cons: keep tissues handy. certain scenes or themes may be uncomfortable.

Lupin III (Red Jacket, Ghibli, and the new 3D animation are all A+) pros: heist comedy elevated to an art form before half (or more!) of the people reading this were born. the english dubbed series that used to air on adult swim is a treat. cons: this franchise started in THE SIXTIES, so naturally, some shit has not aged well. certain series (fujiko mine) are darker than others in themes and material. the 3d movie that released recently is an excellent starting point.

Samurai Champloo-Pros: breakdancing samurai, a fascinating roster of characters, and a superb soundtrack by the tragically passed Nujabes. -Cons: it was made in the weird era of the transition from analog to digital animation and so the /series master/ was animated at a painfully low resolution, so even if there's a bluray out there (I haven't looked,) it will be an upscale, which doesn't always look the best. as well, there are scenes and themes that may make the viewer uncomfortable here and there.

The Works of Studio Ghibli Oh, I'm sorry, Ponyo too suffused with childhood wonder for you? My Neighbor Totoro not depressing enough? In addition to the infamous Grave of the Fireflies, Studio Ghibli has made a wealth of movies that aren't aimed squarely at the kodomo (children's) sector. -Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind: climate change existential dread, the movie -Castle in the Sky: government obsession with obtaining weapons of mass destruction destroys everything beautiful, the movie -Pom Poko: human-caused deforestation and urbanization is destroying the natural world and all that live in it, the movie -Princess Mononoke: industrialization will be the death of everything beautiful in the world, the movie, with a side of sometimes everyone (and no one) is the villain when everyone is simply trying to survive -Howl's Moving Castle: The Physical Manifestation of Depression is a Liquid Ooze, the Movie, also War Is Bad It's not all depressing, but let it never be said that Hayao Miyazaki was subtle. Whisper of the Heart is a good coming-of-age story, Kiki's Delivery Service is a classic, Tales from Earthsea is divisive among fans of Ursula K. Le Guin but I personally liked it. From one studio alone there is a wealth of opportunities.

And that's really the point. These are just some from the top of my head. There are so very many options outside of the cute-girls-doing-cute-things genre that I couldn't list them all if I was here for a week. Or as Madoka Magica so ruthlessly showcases, even series that appear a certain way on the surface might not be what you bargained for once you look into them! These are all (I think) mostly older, mainstream-appeal series that should be easy to track down, too -- there are all kinds of singular animations like The Diary of Tortov Roddle, crowdfunded experiments like KICK-HEART, Masterpiece World Theatre renditions of classic (western) novels that never get talked about, films like A Silent Voice that confront social issues- and of course, series like Rozen Maiden that helped popularize this very hobby!

There is literally an ocean of content to explore from Japanese creators alone, and it opens up even more if you look into works from other parts of Asia- just look at how popular manwha have become, or Chinese animations like Leafie, a Hen Into the Wild! It's a genre unto itself, with all the breadth of content and inter-industry problems that come with it, and without any of the respect that similar art forms have been granted over the years. The way an entire culture's art form is often disparaged, disregarded, and belittled- and by extension, the way most of Asia's animated endeavors are often rolled up into that reductive dismissal along with anime and manga- is honestly Not Great, and there is absolutely a thread of xenophobia that runs through it. The industry has so very many problems (low wages, poor training, overwork of everyone ever, archaic financial modules, the exclusivity and breadth of merchandising necessary to turn a profit and how it leads to consumer burnout and disconnection over time, and yes, the way minors are portrayed not just in anime, but in Japanese media in general- and how much of that is actually bad (some of it is indeed,) and how much if it is cultural difference (I've heard people call the scene where the family in Totoro bathe together problematic because of the nudity, but I've also only heard people say that from the West)

-- none of the actual problems affecting the people who produce this medium are gonna improve when the general response to "animators frequently have to live at home to survive" is "that's what happens when you're a weeb." It's 5am and I'm gonna point out the problems in the narrative around how we discuss this genre of entertainment because it's important, damn you! Regardless, thank you for coming to my unasked for and overlong TED talk about animation on a doll collecting drama blog, feel free to call me a pathetic weeb etcetera on your way out- but while you do so, might I suggest you also go watch a choice animated series! My current go-to is Bofuri, which is a cute-girls-doing-cute-things moefied isekai series that I refuse to apologize for watching. Be free. (The battle scenes are great and it captures the feeling of learning to play a new MMO with your friends better than most video-game-based anime I've seen in a long, long time. does anyone even still remember .hack? how about serial experiments lain...?)

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #Anime

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sunnysviolin · 4 years ago

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I'm asking you to elaborate on everyone's favourite ghibli movie :3

-Lemon

Ahaha Lemoni! I love ya sm I’ll do this just for you. I wasn’t gonna elaborate initally because I was like hmmm I don’t know my exact reasons for some of these, but now I have to bc you asked SO

Sunny- Spirited Away. I feel like Spirited Away in a weird way reminds me of headspace? Like I know they actually ended up like in another world, but I also feel like that world was for Chihiro and for her journey into growing up. Just like Sunny’s headspace was for his journey into dealign with tauma (and in a lesser way growing up) Plus all of the different creatures remidn me of all the characters in headspace. I think Sunny would really like this one because it reminds him of his daydreams and his world that he’s creating. There were no dragons in Omori and that’s criminal and I need Sunny to have a dragon character

Basil- Ponyo. So the story in Ponyo is all about like the friendship between this human boy and this lil fish girl and how their (platonic?) but regardless extremely deep bond is able to overcome everything. And I think that Basil would connect deeply to the end where Sosuke just loves Ponyo exactly as she is. This is one of those that I don’t really think I can explain? It reminds me of sunnflower but also how Basil was the last one to join the group and found his first real “family” In them? Ugh I’m probably doing a bad job of this.

Kel- Princess Mononoke. I think the story in this one would really compel him, even tho I think he would probably be scared of it as a little child. I love the idea of him curled up in Hero’s arms as they watch and hiding his face at the ‘scary’ parts. Hero tries to suggest another movie, but Kel likes this one, so they do the same thing every time. Plus another iconic scene “I’ll cut your throat, that’ll get you to shut up!” “You’re beauiful”....not Kelbrey watching this together later and Kel realizing that he’s always had a thing for girls like this.

Aubrey- Kiki’s delivery service. So first of all I think young Aubrey definitely likes this one best because it was originally Mari’s favorite. She has some pretty big hero worship for Mari, and so when Mari likes this one, so does Aubrey. Also Aubrey thinks she looks like Kiki (part of why she starts to wear a boy in her hair) I think she also likes the music and thinks it’s really pretty. I’m sure when she’s older she explores the themes a little bit more, but it generally just stays in the realm of a comfort film for her.

Hero- Grave of the Fireflies. Ooof. Oof okay so let me explain. Hero loves this movie, but he doesn’t recc it to others (unlike all the rest who I think are always pushing their favorite Ghibli movie) I think Hero will literally never watch Grave of the Fireflies with anyone else, because watching it is a special experience for him. I think Hero is someone who like can’t let himself be upset over things in his life? He pushes everything down and away and tries to just be positive, but like when he watches a sad movie he gets to have some cathartic release. He can cry over the movie and be sad over it, but it’s also him letting himself be upset over the other things in his life too. It’s also a movie that shows directly the negative effects of war in a really intimate way. I think Hero is a huge pacifist (ignores the things I wrote in Not Again...wait actaully no I don’t Hero is a pacifist there too) and he puts that down to being shown this movie when he was pretty young.

Mari- Howl’s Moving Castle. Howl is a very pretty movie and it’s got gorgeous music. I think the music is one of the big things for Mari (she’s the one that gets them all into ghibli movies for sure) and she loves to play the music from Howl on her piano. She looks up to Sophie and her journey with self confidence is inspiring for Mari who I see as someone who had a period of shyness before she grew into herself (Middle School Mari struggled) I also think that Mari adores the love story carefully crafted between Howl and Sophie. She isn’t a fan of western romance movies because so much of the conflict is in the actual relationship. She likes Howl because the relationship makes them both grow and they don’t let each other get away with things that are wrong. It doesn’t quite remind her of her and Hero (They aren’t really that similar to the characters) but something about it is compelling and the intimacy of the movie draws her in. Plus Markle. All I need to say.

#asks #anon #lemon anon #lemon #ghibli movies #omori #omori headcanons #omori hero #omori mari #heromari #omori kel #omori basil #omori aubrey #omori sunny

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ask-the-lgbtqs-of-lovestruck · 3 years ago

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Hey my favorite bunch of mods, how ya doing?

Now to my questions😁

What is your favorite song and why?

What is your favorite movie?

And last but not least if your have free 3 wishes, what would it be?

Sending big hugs to all of you, thanx for all of your work with this blog, it's a sunny, funny, place where I have meet a lot of wonderful peoples and where I can find peace in a hectic life.

‘Hai hai! I’m okay, how are you??

💗 Mmmm, you have to ask the hard questions, huh? Currently, my favorite song is probably either “My Jolly Sailor Bold” by Ashley Serena, because I really enjoy the beat and vibe, or “One For The Angels” by Transviolet, because my best friend played it for me as it reminded them of me.

💗 My favorite movie currently is “Howl’s Moving Castle”!

💗 My three wishes:

1. I’d wish for enough money to buy my Mom’s dream house.

2. Enough money to help my family pay off all their bills, as well as mine.

3. For my best friend to have everything she may need whether that be money or whatever.

Hugs returned!!’

~Mod Cecelia🩸

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‘Hello hello hello! I am doing amazingly! Let us start with the questions.~

❤️ Favourite song... [He casually opens his Spotify] Let me see... “Rebels” by Call Me Karizma. It represents how I act as a person, not only as Vivienne. Like... it vibes with me.

❤️ Favourite movie... “Chicago” (2002). I had the biggest crush on Velma Kelly when I first watched it.

❤️ Three wishes, these are more self centred.

1) Letting go of my random bursts of envy.

2) Stopping the FREQUENT heartbreak.

3) Contentment in the people I'm close to.’

-💎 Mod Vivienne

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‘Hi there. I'm doing all right. Having a little issue with life, but I'm getting by.

🧡 What is your favorite song and why?

Oh, that's tough... I have two. “Gloria” - Laura Branigan and “Hold On” - Wilson Phillips. Both are so good and are seriously uplifting songs. I really love them both.

🧡 What is your favorite movie?

“Jurassic Park”.

🧡 And last but not least, if you have 3 free wishes, what would they be?

Oh... UH...

1. To give happiness to everyone

2. To have our pets live forever.

3. To always have enough money.’

- 🐍 Mod Medusa

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‘Hey Kathy!

I'm doing very well, thank you! I hope you are doing well also.

💛 I have lots of favorite songs... one that springs to mind is “Blue Jean” by David Bowie, why? He's one of my all-time fav artists growing up and the song brings back happy memories of when I saw him live in NYC.

💛 Ooh, I have soo many fav movies! Hmm, again one that springs to mind is “Death Becomes Her”.

💛 [Raises an eyebrow] Three wishes, huh? Wishes are dangerous... can mess with the balance of things... my wishes have so far... come true. I do not wish for anything more, I am grateful as is, thank you. [Bows]

I'm soo glad you feel safe, happy, and loved within our community. That makes me very happy. 🥰’

- Mod Vinca

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‘Hey hey, Kathys81! ❤

I’m very well, thank you! I hope the same goes for you! Been a bit tired these last couple days, but that’s all on me (drawing til late hours, lol). Hmm on to the questions.

💚 I have too many favorites songs! So I can’t choose! They all are so different, depending on lots of things. But my favorite Arist of all-time is a Swedish singer named Rebecka Törnqvist.

💚 “Alien: Anthology”[*cough*SigourneyIsHot*cough*]

💚 My three wishes would be:

1. For my family and friends to live a long, happy, and healthy life. Without having to worry about anything.

2. To be able to go back and forth in time, to experience different eras… like teleporting!

3. To be able to meet my favorite LoveStruck characters in person. [ahem] 👀😳

Thank you for giving us such kind words! [hugs back]’

- 🍃 Mod Evina

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‘Hi! I’m doing okay, been doing a bit better that I was.

💙 My favorite song… Hmm going to go with anything by John Williams.

💙 Favorite movie: definitely “Frozen”.

💙 Three wishes?

1. To be a full woman.

2. Become pregnant.

3. And kinda a goal, kinda a wish, to become a certified Midwife.

Thank you for the hug!’

- ✨ Mod Liora

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‘Hey Kathy! I'm doing well, thanks; can't complain. 😁 Ooooh, questions...

💜 Favorite song: This can change from moment to moment, but for the past couple of years it's been "Heaven Is a Place On Earth" by Belinda Carlisle. Feels like I've always loved Belinda's voice from the moment I heard her singing with the Go-Gos, and this particular song was put back on my radar big-time by an episode of “Black Mirror” (San Junipero). Look, I'm a child of the 80's, I'm a hopeful romantic, and I love happy, bubbly (sappy) pop songs, okay? LOL.

💜 Favorite movie: I have two and both must be mentioned - "The Black Stallion" (1979) and "Carol" (2015). One is a horse film, one is a lesbian love story. Both are cinematic works of art and I had spiritual epiphanies watching both. Fun Fact: Having a spiritual epiphany at age 4 is kinda tough. [chuckles] I handled the "Carol" epiphany a bit better. 😉

💜 Three wishes, huh? Two of these are less wishes and more life goals, but here goes:

1 - To own a horse and learn to ride

2 - To publish one of the very many novels in my head (assuming I ever write any of them 👉👈 )

3 - … 👀

Am I really gonna say this in my "out loud" typing?

Yes, yes I am because maybe if I say it often enough, I can will it into being... To meet and befriend a chubby-chaser version of Helena Klein [blushes]

Now, did someone say hugs? [makes grabby hands] Come here, you! [hugs]’

- Mod Helena ⚔️

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‘How’s it going, Kathy! Things fluctuate in life, but I generally stay on the happier, positive side of things. I hope all is going well for you & thanks for the questions! 😸

🤎 My favorite song is: “Gravity” by Sara Bareilles & has been for the past 10 years or so. She is one of my all-time fave singers and that song is just so hauntingly beautiful. She plays her vocal cords like an instrument in it! 🥰

🤎 My fave movies are “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” & “Tipping the Velvet”. I’m aware of how problemic the first movie is, as it’s a 50’s musical. I just adore musicals and grew up watching so many older ones, so I’m more forgiving for those than more recent movies. “Tipping the Velvet” was a lovely book by Sarah Waters, so when I heard the BBC had done a mini-series of it, I just had to see that lesbian hero’s journey brought to life! 🤩

🤎 3 wishes… hmm…

1. Financial stability for both my loved ones and me for the rest of our lives (while still being able to travel).

2. To be able to talk to animals & thus, be able to help elevate their voices. Saving habitats & species alike.

3. I’d wish for my wife (and future kids) to be happy and taken care of, should anything ever happen to me.

Lovely chatting with you, Kathys81! Take care! [Big bear hug from this werewolf!]’

~ 🐺 Mod Mackenzie

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‘Hello, dear… I'm fairing quite well, and I hope you are, too. 🖤

As for the questions:

🖤 Picking a favorite song would be… an impossible feat. 🤣 I have far, far too many. I have been listening to a lot of Written by Wolves lately, though - so currently the songs “Demons”, “Lucky Stars”, and their cover of “Elastic Heart” are my top tracks.

🖤 Favorite movie is just as hard. 😅 Er... Hm... the original “Black Christmas”, maybe? Or the “Emperor's New Groove”? 🤣 I dunno… I have a lot. 😅

🖤 1. To be able to travel uninhibitedly.

2. To be able to see myself through the eyes of the people who care about me most.

3. A lifetime supply of pizza.

Hugs back to you, dear! 🖤

- Mod Ruelle

#ask mods #lovestruck #answered #kathys81 #ask the lgbtqs of lovestruck

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worms-i-think · 3 years ago

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hello hello! I was tagged by both @theres-a-bea and @surely-galena to join in the ‘4 characters who match my energy’ thingy! thank you two so much for the acknowledgment, it means a lot <3

I have totally been stalling on this with the amount of irl things I was busy with, but I’ll consider this a roundabout sort of introduction considering I just spawned on this website and started meming one day.

When I saw the prompt, the realization hit me like a train that I’ve never really thought of myself in terms of characters before, but I guess I’ll consider this my chance to choose some I feel similar to!

1. Sophie Hatter (Howl’s Moving Castle)

Sophie is a relatively quiet person who likes doing her own thing, and after the initial shock of aging quite a few decades she learns that her life hasn’t changed much and begins housekeeping in a wizard’s castle. I feel like I’d probably do the same thing, and I also also have a bunch of traditionally ‘old woman’ hobbies, like knitting, collecting old books, volunteering at my library, cleaning or watching things be cleaned, and baking for people I like. I’d like to live a simple life of eating bread and cheese, fronting as various mysterious businesses and waiting for a wizard to come home and berate him over dinner.

3. Elinor Dashwood (Sense & Sensibility)

It was inevitable that I’d have a Jane Austen character on the list, but the question was which one. Elinor is a big sister who outwardly pretends that love is too dramatic for her while inwardly is very romantic and caring. She’s in charge of her younger family members a lot of the time and is generally considered the smart one in many situations despite most of the time just wanting to chill out. She pays strong attention to her family’s feelings, and she gets bonus points for just being an Austen heroine.

3. Sable (Animal Crossing)

My sister said I remind her of Sable, likely again because of our family but also because I’m shy and hobby-obsessed. I’m a really quiet person and generally find it difficult to speak for multiple reasons, though online I’ve been trying to project myself more confidently since starting this blog. (This is much easier in writing because I just put everything in caps and it suddenly appears that I’m bold.) I’ve never been officially taught to sew, but I’m currently knitting myself a really soft blanket, which is very Animal Crossing of me. Luckily, unlike Sable, both of my parents are alive and well.

4. MJ (Spider-Man, but the new ones)

My dad told me I reminded him of MJ after we went to see Far From Home in the theaters. She spends a lot of her time doing what she pleases in school, drawing or getting interested in very arbitrary subjects while still managing to be ✨academically achieving✨, which makes her appear a bit,,,odd to most, but I find her mannerisms really endearing because we seem to make the same facial expressions half of the time. She looks like the knifecat image, which what I look like posting lovely crap here.

anywho, that is me in a summary, possibly, maybe! I don’t have many mutuals but I’m going to tag @prezs in an ‘if you want to otherwise you can chill n be cool n do your thing’ type of way.

thanks again :D

#unrelated #me!#twas tagged

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mostlycompetentwriter · 4 years ago

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You Can STAY - Part 10

F/M Main Pairing: Y/N x Lee Felix (Side Pairing: Y/N x Stray Kids)

Genre: Fantasy AU; Scarlet Heart AU; OT8 SKZ

Warnings: Language; some mentions of mature content; violence; mentions of blood; major character death (uh-oh)

Summary: The King is challenged.

A/N: the gif doesn’t really fit but Jeongin does some hardcore stuff in this chapter

Tag List: @angelphantomlove @moonlightracha @jjabbur @pinkchcn @straykidbaby @moonnstars90 @dru-shadow @skzooyeet @xiaojunssmile

“He’s losing his mind.”

I glanced up at the seemingly innocuous comment, narrowing my eyes in deep thought as Felix laid down next to me in our shared bed. “What do you mean?” I asked, although I had a faint idea of his intentions.

“There are consequences to our actions,” Felix said. “I think Changbin has finally started to realize that for himself.”

I swallowed hard, studying the detailed ornamentation of Felix’s freckles. “Is he sick?”

“He’s something,” Felix grunted. “Told me the other night that he saw Seungmin walking into his bedroom.”

I immediately frowned. “Like...a ghost?”

“Yeah,” Felix said. “Exactly like a ghost.”

I scoffed at such a notion. “How long has he been seeing ghosts for?”

“Does it matter?” Felix asked. “He deserves to suffer after all the horrible shit he’s done to his family and the kingdom. Every time I see him in the Throne Room, I just want to wring his fucking neck. Make him earn those breaths he gets to take since he made the decision to take away Seungmin and Minho’s right to live.”

I shivered at the venom in Felix’s tone. But instead of the rage he felt, I only experienced a deep-settled sadness weighing on my bones. To the point where it was sometimes difficult to force myself up in the mornings. “We can only keep him accountable,” I said. “He won’t stay on the throne.”

“He might,” Felix muttered.

“It’s not meant to be,” I replied simply. “The rest of the Kingdom will see that.”

“When?” Felix huffed. “After he kills another one of my brothers?”

“He won’t hurt you,” I said. “And I don’t think he has plans to kill Jeongin.”

“Cuz’ he knows Jeongin is weak,” Felix said. “He doesn’t contribute to anything around here. All he does is visit Changbin in the evenings. Whatever it is they do alone in his chambers.”

“Is that where Jeongin is right now?” I asked.

“Last time I checked...” Felix trailed off, appearing slightly more anxious. “Yeah, he’s with Changbin.”

“Should we be worried?”

“I don’t think so,” Felix said, although I suspected it was more for my benefit than a statement of fact. “Jeongin can handle himself.”

“He’s a kid,” I grumbled. “I’m sure he’s scared and confused. The only reason he even gets to be here is because Changbin’s mother protected him.”

“Well, as long as she lives,” Felix said. “Jeongin will have a safe place, and he’s smart enough to know that.”

“And if she dies?”

Felix sighed. “Then I hope he’ll know to run, but that’s nothing to concern ourselves with right now.”

“I can’t help it,” I said, drawing myself closer to Felix for his reassuring warmth. “I want to take care of him.”

“I know, love,” Felix whispered, and I could feel his lips press a soothing kiss against the top of my head, providing me with only a faint inkling of hope when the rest of the world seemed to be growing darker.

Jeongin

Jeongin watched his brother as he slowly worked apart the buttons on his shirt: movements that seemed far too sluggish for a king in their prime.

“Are you alright, Changbin?” Jeongin asked.

“M’ tired,” Changbin said, and Jeongin didn’t even react when Changbin slumped down into the floor. “My head hurts again.”

“I’m sorry,” Jeongin whispered, hoping that it sounded more genuine that he felt. Or, maybe Changbin wouldn’t even notice.

But he was doing this for Chan and Jisung. For the family that Changbin had taken from him.

“I’ve prepared a bath for you.”

Changbin groaned, sliding his fingers through his graying hair. “I feel sick.”

“The bath will help,” Jeongin insisted, and he forced his feet to move across the floor to support Changbin by his arm, allowing his brother to lend most of his weight against Jeongin’s slimmer form, trying to control the shakiness threatening to ruin everything as he helped Changbin lower himself beneath the waters.

The smell of mercury was subtle, but Jeongin had done a good job of masking it with other bath scents. “Feels good,” Changbin slurred, and Jeongin resisted a smile at the glazed-over look in his brother’s eyes.

It was happening exactly as Chan had described it to him. When his oldest brother entrusted him to carry out this formidable task because he was one of the few people left who Changbin still trusted. Even if it was his mother’s intervention that permitted that trust in the first place.

But she would never know what had happened. Chan had shown him how to disguise the slow killing, to convince Changbin that it was his own guilt turning his body against him.

His own flesh and blood.

Dying more every night.

Slowly, but dying nonetheless.

Poisoned by Jeongin’s own hand.

“Tell me when it starts getting cold,” Jeongin whispered, and he made sure that Changbin was distracted before allowing a satisfied smirk to overtake the façade of practiced innocence that he had perfected for these moments.

Felix

There were already murmurings spreading through the Kingdom. Rumors of a madman on the throne, and Felix could do little to assuage the fears of their people when Changbin insisted on screaming at the top of his lungs at the most ungodly hours.

“He’s always fucking there!” Changbin had exclaimed before running for the coverage of his bed, and Felix hesitated, wondering if his brother would ruin himself after all.

“Who’s there?” Felix asked.

“Seungmin,” Changbin hissed, and his eyes were wild and bloodshot. Something savage and untamable. “He’s watching me.”

Felix swallowed hard, watching his brother start to cry as he begged their dead younger brother to leave him alone, apologizing over and over again for knocking the arrow that had pierced his heart.

“Seungmin is dead,” Felix said, and he made sure his tone was harsh, but firm. “You’re seeing things.”

“I’m not!” Changbin barked, and Felix thought that his tone didn’t quite match the harried expression on his face - the haunted look in his eyes.

“You said you needed to speak to me,” Felix sighed, deciding that it might be best to remind Changbin of other things besides their brother.

“I called for you hours ago,” Changbin growled. “Where were you?”

“I was with Y/N,” Felix said. “We had to...discuss some things.”

Changbin frowned at his pause. “You were fucking that girl,” he snapped, and Felix was appalled by his brother’s language.

“What’s your problem?” Felix asked. “She’s the Castle Mage!”

“She’s a whore!” Changbin shouted, and he was up on his feet in an instant, wobbling between his legs as he pointed a finger at Felix. “She’s distracting you!”

“That’s absurd!” Felix retorted.

“Is it?” Changbin questioned. “Because every time you come in here, you’re always bringing up that girl. Wanting to marry her and live a big fucking happily ever after.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” Felix returned. “Should I not hold you to the promises you made?”

“I am the King!” Changbin screeched. “I can form and break promises whenever I want.”

“Oh?” Felix asked, narrowing his eyes. “What’s this all about, then?”

“I’ve decided that you won’t marry that girl,” Changbin growled, and Felix had never felt so furious in his entire life.

“The reason why I serve you, brother,” Felix said. “Is because of how much I love Y/N.”

“Should I get rid of her?” Changbin asked. “Then you won’t have anything to love.”

“Why would you want to turn me against you?” Felix howled.

“Don’t speak of disloyalty!” Changbin said. “I won’t tolerate this discussion any longer.”

“But what you promised me-”

“STOP!” Changbin screamed, and it was enough to startle Felix into silence. “Hyunjin sent another letter,” Changbin continued as if intentionally ignoring the foul mood he had brought upon his brother. “Go down South and meet with him. I need to ensure that our alliances are settled.”

“Why should I?” Felix challenged. “If you won’t officialize my wedding, then I have no reason to serve you anymore!”

“Felix!” Changbin sighed, and he turned away to slam his fist against the wall. “Don’t do this to me!”

“Do what? Hold you accountable!”

“Go find Hyunjin!” Changbin demanded, glaring over his shoulder. “Do this for me and I’ll reconsider my position.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Felix pointed out, but he stopped when he realized his brother was already drifting again, lowering himself back down onto his bed with a moan of pain. “Fine,” Felix relented. “I’ll speak to Hyunjin. But when I return, you better keep your word or you’ll lose me and Y/N!��

“I’ll have you killed!” Changbin protested, but they both knew his words held little conviction from a King who could barely stand on his own two feet.

The sun was disappearing behind the mountains when Felix returned to our shared room, pulling out his bag and grabbing several articles of clothing.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I have to go South,” Felix replied, and there was a determined look on his face as he continued to work.

“Leaving?” I questioned, watching Felix start to fold his belongings. “Why?”

“Changbin wants me to find Hyunjin,” Felix grumbled. “Something about securing our alliances.”

“Did he not read the letter?” I asked. “The South wants nothing to do with Changbin.”

“I have to do as he says,” Felix sighed, and I was surprised by his insistence.

“They see an illegitimate King,” I continued. “He’s wasting your time.”

“I know,” Felix groaned, and he straightened up long enough to draw me closer. “I’m doing this for us, okay? Changbin has the power to wed us, whether we like it or not.”

“But it’s not worth it if he keeps delaying his promise,” I pointed out, pulling away from Felix’s arms to storm over to the window. “I think he’s lying.”

“We have no other option,” Felix said. “What would you have me do?”

I swallowed hard, gazing out over the Kingdom at night. “Go find Hyunjin,” I said, feeling the fight leave every inch of my body. “But when you return, you will insist on our union or we’ll take matters into our own hands.”

“I agree,” Felix said, and I could feel him walk up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “I won’t be gone long.”

“It’s always too long,” I lamented, turning around to face him and see the familiar look of love reflected in his emerald gaze.

Felix left that evening, and I decided to take a walk amongst the gardens since I would worry about him non-stop until he returned.

Up ahead in the Northern tower, I could see that Changbin’s candle was still glowing, and I wondered what he must be thinking, wasting away into whatever sickness had claimed him.

Still, it was mostly quiet and calm on the grounds, and I was walking with a thousand louder thoughts racing through my head.

But I should’ve known better than to embrace complacency, pausing when I heard a whispered utterance of my name. “Y/N! Over here.”

I frowned, following the voice to the nearby shelter of the Holly bushes, attempting to peer into the branches. “Hello?”

For a moment, there was no response, but then the leaves started to rattle and I took a step back with my magic instinctively warming for my command. But nothing could’ve left me colder than the familiar sight of Chan and Jisung emerging from the bushes.

“Chan?” I gasped. “Jisung?”

“There you are,” Jisung said, smiling in spite of our surroundings, gathering me into his arms for a fierce hug. “Are you hurt?”

“No,” I replied, and I couldn’t help but savor the embrace.

“We need to get inside the Castle,” Chan said, interrupting the moment with a heavy exhale, and I felt my metaphorical hackles rise as I turned to face him.

“Are you insane?” I hissed, watching as Chan and Jisung exchanged glances. “You’ll be killed.”

“It’s fine,” Jisung said, trying to reassure me by drawing his fingers through my hair. “We have someone on the inside.”

I frowned, but it only took me a moment to process what he meant. “Jeongin.”

Chan nodded, and there was something truly frightening about the look in his eyes. “Jeongin’s been poisoning him,” Chan explained with an insane look of delight. “I taught him how to disguise mercury in his baths.”

The implications of his charges hit me all at once, and I knew that nothing would ever be the same after this night. “You’re killing Changbin?!!”

“Jeongin will finish him tonight,” Jisung said, and I was horrified to see him miming a dagger striking above his heart.

“We’ll take the Castle back,” Chan said, but I shook my head because I couldn’t believe that the three siblings had plotted this together!

“You’re no better than Changbin,” I said, marching up to Chan to smash my palm against his chest. “Killing is never the answer.”

“Changbin did the same!” Chan scowled. “We need to take back the Kingdom!”

“Not dishonorably!”

“As if Changbin is in power because he was so honorable,” Jisung scoffed, and I realized that there would be no changing their minds.

Meanwhile, I could hear screaming from the northern tower, and there was a sudden flurry of movement as the guards started to shout out their orders.

“It’s time,” Chan said, and there was nothing but ice in my veins as I had no choice but to follow the brothers inside.

Felix

Felix was ready to leave, horses fed and watered, and belongings stacked neatly on the back of his saddle.

But that all changed with a scream.

Immediately, Felix was on high alert, catching sight of the guards running inside from the stables. “The king’s been attacked!” one of them shouted, and Felix didn’t need to hear another word before he was abandoning his previous assignment. All thoughts of Hyunjin and the Southern territories were gone in the blink of an eye.

“Y/N!”

I paused at the familiar sound of Felix’s voice, nearly crying in relief when I realized that he hadn’t left yet. “Changbin’s been hurt,” I said, falling into his arms because there wasn’t much strength left in my trembling legs.

“I know,” Felix growled, and he didn’t say much else before pulling me along behind him, barking out orders to the guards as he ignored their warnings and forced his way into Changbin’s private chambers.

It was a sight I would never forget, nearly losing what was left in my stomach at the sight of all the blood staining his bed sheets, and the dagger still protruding from his chest. “Felix!” Changbin gurgled, and there was a fresh stream of blood trickling from the side of his mouth.

Felix frowned, pushing aside the guard and doctor who had been attending to his brother. “Who did this?” Felix demanded.

“Jeongin,” Changbin hissed, and I could see the surprise evident in Felix’s eyes.

“Jeongin?”

“Did I stutter?” Changbin snarled, and I was impressed that he could still sound so intimidating when it was clear that death was upon him.

“Why would he do that?” Felix wondered, but it less for Changbin and more of a general shock from the situation rapidly unfolding.

“Listen to me,” Changbin hissed, coughing and heaving around every harsh intake of oxygen. “You know I’ll die from this.”

“How could he do this?” Felix continued, and I wanted to reach over and shake him from whatever disorientation was clouding his judgment.

But Changbin was already a step ahead.

“Fuck them all,” Changbin growled, holding tight to Felix’s arm as he brought his brother closer. “They’ve hated you since your birth, Felix. Do this one last thing for me: take the throne out of spite.”

“The throne?” Felix repeated, and I froze on the spot, realizing the vast implications for what this would bring.

“Avenge me!” Changbin said, but I made sure to send him a knowing look right before he closed his eyes: I would never allow Felix to committ such evil. Especially after that vision from so long ago where he stood above them all. Blood beneath his feet.

“Changbin?” Felix whispered, and I was surprised by the timidity in his tone, watching Felix close his eyes and take a staggered deep breath.

“It’s up to me,” he said, tone a little bit firmer as he glanced over at me before turning around to address the room’s occupants.

“I’m in charge now,” Felix shouted, and the guards nearby immediately knelt down onto one knee. “Find Jeongin!” Felix continued. “Bring him to me!”

“And the others, sir?” one of the guards asked. “What about Chan and Jisung?”

I was shivering violently, holding myself as I watched Felix’s expression shift into something dark and sinister. “What did you say?”

“Y-your other brothers,” the guard repeated, albeit much more hesitantly.

“They had a part in this?” Felix growled, and I recognized the turning point - the moment when Felix felt their betrayal.

“I know you’re furious with them,” I quickly intervened, holding my breath when Felix started to shake his head, refusing to listen before I could make my case.

“Did you know about this?” he asked instead.

“I didn’t until tonight when I found them in the gardens,” I said. “I tried to tell them that murder would lead to nothing good but-”

“But nothing!” Felix interfered with a harsh curse. “They went behind my back to try and throw Changbin off the throne,” he said.

“Yes, but they were upset and confused, Felix,” I insisted. “Changbin killed Minho and Seungmin. They wanted revenge, even if that wasn’t the answer.”

“So, are you suggesting that I let them free even though I’m King now?” Felix asked.

“A King stands up for his people!”

“Not when they show him such little regard,” Felix retorted, and he started for the door.

“Don’t do this,” I whispered, tugging on Felix’s sleeve as he continued to look straight ahead.

“Bring them to me,” Felix went on, and I was disappointed and heartbroken that he had ignored me. “Bring me my brothers.”

Felix was stagnant and unmoving, talking in rapid tones to his guards as he ordered me to remain silent.

The treatment was completely unlike him, but I held my tongue in the hope that he would see reason.

Of course, that all changed the moment Jisung, Chan, and Jeongin walked into the room, inviting a suffocating silence that persisted until Felix stepped forward. “Is this how you envisioned your plot to end?” he asked them.

And for a moment, I was afraid that none of them would respond. “No, Felix,” Chan eventually said. “We planned to allow the people to choose our next King.”

Felix scoffed. “Really? This wasn’t self-motivated?”

Chan shook his head, looking up with a determined stare. “We wanted to avenge Seungmin and Minho.”

“Well, that wasn’t your place, was it?” Felix snarled, and Chan was clearly caught off-guard by his brother’s tone.

“Felix, this is what we all wanted-”

“I never asked you to go behind my back!” Felix interrupted, and electricity crackled throughout the room.

“We had to plan in secrecy!”

“Jeongin knew!” Felix countered. “You had him play the part of the executioner!”

“Felix, we couldn’t risk your safety!”

“That’s not what it was,” Felix growled, and he was pacing the room, fuming as he grumbled nonsense to himself.

But then he stopped, standing up straight and sending a glare to his three battle-wearied brothers. “The three of you,” he said, pointing a finger at each of them. “Get the hell out of my kingdom.”

“No!” I cried, attempting to rise from the bed, but one of the guards held me down.

“Felix,” Jeongin sniffled, and my heart could barely handle his grief.

“The fault is with all of you!” Felix huffed. “You can suffer the consequences together.”

His word was final, and I watched as they all turned to leave out the door with a pair of guards following behind them.

“And if you see Hyunjin,” Felix added. “Tell him that he can stay in the South.”

The sentence was harsh, and the doors to the chamber echoed shut in the dead King’s quarters.

It was later that night, sitting alone in my shared room with Felix, when the man in question finally joined me.

“I’m sorry for my harsh words earlier,” he said, attempting a softer tone as his fingers traced the seam of my lips. “My brothers had to punished.”

“No, they didn’t,” I said, and there was a flicker of anger in Felix’s gaze before the emerald was calm once again.

He took my hand in his own. “You can marry me because I’m King, Y/N,” Felix said, breathing a kiss across my upturned palm.

But just as quick, I snatched my hand away from his grasp. “No,” I said as calmly as possible.

Felix frowned. “No?”

“If you keep your brothers exiled,” I hissed. “Then you’ll never have me.”

Felix shook his head, clearly thrown by my ultimatum. “You need to be careful with your words...”

“Are you threatening me now?”

Felix sighed. “You’ll see in time why I had to exile them. Until that point, I will keep loving you, Y/N. I’ll wait for you to see reason and give us both what we want.”

I scowled at his words, waiting until he was gone from the room before laying back on the bed. “We’ll never get what we want now.”

Because too much had changed.

#stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #stray kids series #felix fanfic #felix scenarios #felix imagines #stray kids felix fanfic #skz felix fanfic #skz felix imagines #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #mostlycompetent

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aquilacalvitium · 3 years ago

Text

I posted 18,242 times in 2021

78 posts created (0%)

18164 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 232.9 posts.

I added 1,030 tags in 2021

#movie thread - 515 posts

#avengers: age of ultron - 73 posts

#pirates of the caribbean: the curse of the black pearl - 70 posts

#aquila thinks - 64 posts

#rogue one - 61 posts

#pokemon: mewtwo strikes back - 55 posts

#wandavision spoilers - 55 posts

#shang-chi - 46 posts

#wandavision - 46 posts

#howl's moving castle - 45 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#megamind also went extra and focused more on the presentation than anything else and if that doesn't command respect i don't know what does

My Top Posts in 2021

Regarding Robin's extremely brave coming out

(If you are unaware, see his recent tweet)

If I see even one of you misgendering or being otherwise transphobic or bigoted towards him, you will be catching these hands.

He is allowed to express his gender however he feels comfortable, and that includes still using he/him pronouns.

If you think otherwise, I suggest you educate yourself on gender identity and gender expression immediately.

He is still the same person we've grown to love and appreciate over the years, and I expect to see SO MUCH love and support that we'll knock his socks off. I WILL be blocking any transphobes on site.

121 notes • Posted 2021-02-20 18:03:27 GMT

I love them, your honour

127 notes • Posted 2021-11-05 00:59:10 GMT

I saw @prof-peach's post about their little world of pokemon and decided to add my own character. Although it's really just me as a pokemon trainer, haha!

I fully intended to only make a character sketch at first but the idea of a little pokemon cafe was just such a lovely idea to me, that I ended up spending around nine hours on a full scene!

(background traced from https://furnitureroots.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Modern-Cafe-Counter-3.jpg)

My inability to draw humans meant I drew my character as a furry, which is really the only thing I'm capable of drawing.

Since this character is essentially a stand-in for myself, they have the same name, legacy. And the pokemon are two of my own pokemon from my team on Shield. Shade the zorua and Mako the garchomp. It's hard to tell, but Mako is shiny.

Legacy's job is a barista at the cafe where Mako also helps out. Shade just kind of sits around and provides cuddles to anyone who wants them.

Their team also includes:

Shadow - zoroark

Squiggles - mimikyu

Astor - shiny zeraora

Silver - melmetal

All together, the pokemon make a really strong team, but Legacy doesn't tend to battle much. They spend most of their off-work time just sitting with their pokemon or getting to know the other pokemon on the island.

137 notes • Posted 2021-07-01 22:21:31 GMT

Reasons why I love Wakko Warner

Okay first of all... he baby

But the main reason is

☆•.°¤▪︎SELF PROJECTION ▪︎¤°.•☆

This child is 100% autistic in almost every way I'm autistic.

He stims. In so many episodes:

In La La Law he's seen flapping his hands about. In Ups and Downs he's seen bouncing and pulling on his ears while repeatedly saying "candy". In Who Donut (reboot) he's seen jumping about on all fours out of excitement. There's definitely more but these are the examples I can remember right now.

One could also argue that his tongue constantly hanging out of his mouth is another form of stim, and actually something I started doing not too long before watching the show and have started doing a lot more since.

He misunderstands things often:

In Dezanitised, he takes Otto's questions literally ("What's on your mind?" My hat.) and seems genuinely confused when Otto gets frustrated. In Dollar Store, he keeps asking how much items are, despite being told multiple times that everything is a dollar and then takes that to mean that everything collectively is one dollar and clears out the entire store, leaving just one dollar as payment.

He experiences emotional extremes:

In Chalkboard Bungle when Mrs Flamiel gives him an F, he immediately becomes outraged. In Who Donut (again) he appears to have a mild meltdown over his missing doughnuts, which are supposedly his safe food (?).

On the opposite end of the spectrum, he can also show almost no emotional reaction to a situation. In Ups and Downs (again) he recognises that the lift is stuck and even suggests calling for help, but shows zero signs of distress or concern.

He has comfort items:

Obviously his hat. He is almost never seen without it! And, as mentioned before, doughnuts are quite possibly his safe food, as he gets a lot more excited about the idea of doughnuts than almost any other food. In Hooray For North Hollywood, Wakko's liquorice habit is mentioned a handful of times, suggesting that it is another safe food of his.

He mirrors:

This is one I do slightly less, but I'm gonna write it down anyway. When he has nothing to do, Wakko appears to mirror people around him. The most notable example of this is, once again, in Ups and Downs (this episode is a really good reference for his autistic traits). While standing in the moving lift, Wakko starts copying Scratchansniff. Checking his watch, muttering, sniffing, coughing and crossing his arms.

Finally, autistic people tend to have different experiences with gender than neurotypicals:

I realise this one is just a headcanon, and in the canon of the show Wakko is still a boy. But here's my argument...

Wakko's a he/him nonbinary because I said so.

228 notes • Posted 2021-01-04 13:51:23 GMT

I'm trying to learn how to draw mewtwo, so I sketched out @xxtc-96xx's Huey!

340 notes • Posted 2021-07-17 22:33:41 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #haha all but one of my most used tags are related to movie threads #also wow that crap drawing got a lot of notes #i do not like that drawing

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lov3nerdstuff · 4 years ago

Text

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 7.11}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 4.2k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

While Robin's wound really did only feel like a pulled muscle at this point, she still had had to agree that their last excursion which had been planned for this Saturday should better be canceled for the sake of her recovery. Thus they spent the remainder of the day mainly by reading, working on editing the handbook, and drinking too much coffee for their own good. However it was only when evening rolled around that they finally decided to take a look at the damage beneath the bandages that were still wrapped around Robin's middle, only to find that the only reminders of the previous evening were an admittedly horrendous bruise, and a pink scar that ran along the arch of her lowest rib at the length of about a finger. Oh well… it wasn't pretty, but considering the circumstances, Robin still found herself glad that it wasn't worse, and Snape simply didn't comment on it at all. Indeed, he seemed to be rather relieved when she dropped the hem of her t-shirt back down (and thereby covered the bruised skin of her stomach), which was a reaction Robin simply refused to think about in either direction.

After that the evening trickled by comfortably like most of their evenings did by now, calm and easy and filled with conversations about everything and nothing, and before long they made dinner like they usually brewed their potions; late at night, together, and each knowing their perfect place in the process wordlessly. Robin appreciated every single second of the evening, like she had loved every second of the day. But that made it all the more painful to think that this wouldn't last, not even beyond morning. Most likely was that it would never happen again, none of this, and that thought was what twisted her heart and put a lump into her throat as she was sitting on the sofa in front of the lit up fireplace once more, a good while after their meal.

It was a surprisingly cold and stormy night for late August, even for England, and while the rain was whipping against the windows now, and the wind howling through the small cracks and gaps in the walls, Robin couldn't bring herself to enjoy it. She had wrapped herself into the blankets again, trying to focus on the book in her hands while Snape in the armchair nearby was doing the same. But no matter how much she tried to keep the gloomy thoughts at bay, the feeling of painful loss just wouldn't leave her alone, and the fact that she couldn't possibly miss something she had never had in the first place irritated her enough to draw every focus away from the book and into her own head. Why was she feeling so sad all of a sudden? The day had been lovely, the evening too… and yet here she was, trying not to cry over absolutely nothing. It wasn't just the realization that the day had been too good to be true, that it would never last, that it had only been an exception… none of that would suffice to upset her like this. They'd had times like this before, in a different way, and they would have them again. She wasn't concerned about that, not really… but then what was it that troubled her mind?

"Stop it." Snape's voice disrupted her downward spiral of thoughts, and Robin tried to open her eyes only to find that they were open already, and staring into empty space. Probably had been for a while at this point.

"Stop what?" She asked in mild irritation and looked over to him instead, not without taking notice that he had placed his book down and was returning her gaze. Probably had been for a while at this point, too.

"Getting lost in your own head. Letting your thoughts drag you to dark places you have no need to dwell in."

"How do you know that that's what I was doing?"

"Was it not?"

"Yes, but how do you know?"

He sighed softly, then sat up straighter. "You haven't turned a page in half an hour, which is the time you usually would need for a quarter of an entire book of this kind. Then, while you obviously have been thinking, you did not make an attempt to share your thoughts with me, which is what you usually do with anything that isn't negative. In return, this means that whatever you have been thinking about is unpleasant for you. But if it was a problem of any kind, one that required solving or was at least possible to solve, you again would most likely tell me about it at this point, which you did not. This leaves as the only possibility that you were overthinking something of no immediate relevance, or at least were dwelling on something that made you sad. Which I would like you not to do, nor to be."

Robin's lips curled into a small smile before she could help it, and a little of the gloom melted away as it was replaced by warmth and adoration. "I didn't know you understood me better than I do."

"I merely pay attention to the details. Would be quite impossible to keep up with you otherwise."

"Am I really that complicated?" She couldn't help chuckling at least a little, deeming it more a compliment than anything, and seeing as finally enough tension had left her body, she let herself sink further into the cushions.

"No. Complex perhaps, and challenging. But complicated would be the wrong word for it."

"I'd really rather be complex than complicated; one speaks of intelligence and character, the other of drama and effort. Then again, I surely cause you enough trouble to be called complicated indeed."

"Life is complicated either way. The true art in it is finding what makes the trouble worth it."

Robin didn't even have to think to know that she had found exactly this for herself a long time ago. Primarily, the very person in front of her. Really, she had no doubt that she would go through absolutely anything for him, with him, no matter what. Then –on a secondary level, or a different kind of level rather– she had found her passion for her research. Either way, she wondered what made life worth it for Snape. His job perhaps, his work as well… she could very well imagine that it was potions indeed. But she could also imagine other things, and she would fare better if she didn't imagine anything at all. Time for a subtle change of topic.

"You really have learned to be more positive, you know that?" She smirked at him with a quirked eyebrow, hoping that it would suffice to act over her own emotions beneath the fragile surface of her facade.

"Say that again and there will be consequences." He drawled in a feigned scowl, and Robin had to grin even more.

"Like what? I'm already sleeping on the couch with a healing stab wound. There's little you can do." She teased on even though she knew very well that there actually was quite a lot he could do, giving him a sassy shrug nonetheless, which actually threatened to make him break his facade. Robin saw the humor in his eyes, so obviously that it almost screamed at her, until it suddenly was replaced entirely by neutrality. Half a second later he rose to his feet in one swift move, killed the fire at the same time, and was already halfway across the small room before Robin even knew that was going on.

But once her mind snapped into place, she jumped into action instinctively and lunged forward in such an uncontrolled quick impulse, to catch his arm before he was out of reach, that she couldn't catch herself anymore and tumbled over, off the sofa and onto the hard floor. An action that would've hurt even without a healing wound. But she had gotten a hold of his sleeve at least, even if it was of fairly little use now that she was in a heap on the floor once more, drawing in a sharp breath against the rush of pain.

"Bloody hell…" She groaned after the initial stinging had dimmed down, and found that when she opened her eyes, she was met with a deep and concerned frown.

"What, pray tell, were you trying to do?!" He asked a bit too harshly, but Robin figured that it was because he probably was as surprised as she was herself.

"Stopping you from leaving." She defended her own action rather weakly, feeling way too insecure as she let him help her back onto the sofa where he sat down next to her. "I… I don't know what it is that I did, but I swear I didn't mean to upset you."

"You did nothing wrong, and you certainly did not upset me. You worried me with that stunt right there, but that was entirely my own fault as it seems." He said, and if his facial expressions had ever been obvious, it was now. Regret, anger and concern, all put on display for Robin to see without a doubt. "I failed to come up with a decent reply to your tease, so I thought I might simply prove that there is one thing I could do to get a reaction from you after all, but I had no intention of actually leaving nor did I think it would end like this. I'm sorry for crossing the line."

Fear dropped from Robin's heart as suddenly as it had been placed on it, and perhaps that was why she gave in to this most desperate urge without resistance. In an instant, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders tightly, kneeling on the sofa next to him as she buried her face in his neck and she hugged him as close to herself as she possibly could. Insufferable idiot… going too far while teasing was her speciality, not his! He never did… until now, it seems. It didn't matter, Robin still clung onto him with no intention to let go, and after a second of initial surprise, of freezing like he did so often, he placed his arms around her in return.

"Don't do that to me… Don't leave me like everyone else did." She breathed after a while, and as she spoke her lips barely brushed against the delicate spot of skin above the collar of his shirt. "You're… I… I can't have you leaving me as well."

"I would never." He replied so quietly, so seriously that a shiver ran down Robin's spine. "I am not going anywhere unless you want me to."

"You will still have to leave tomorrow, no matter what I want."

"If you want me to stay, I will."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Again, it took Robin a few seconds to process the overwhelming amount of emotions ebbing through her in return, to convince herself that he was only saying this because of what had happened yesterday. He only wanted to make sure she would be alright. And she would be, but only without the guilt of getting in the way of how things were supposed to be on her conscience.

"You have no idea how much that means to me… but it would be incredibly selfish of me to ask that of you when there's no good reason to stay, but many reasons to go. I will be just fine on my own, I have been for years. It's just one bloody week, and it's an important one." She finally said, in more or less certainty of her words. "You have to go."

"I know you will be fine." He returned calmly, yet in the same seriousness as ever. "You always are."

"Unless I get stabbed, or cursed, or tortured, or eaten alive by a bear, or-..."

"You are making it really difficult for me to go."

"Sorry." She breathed, but a smile tugged on her lips no less. It didn't matter why he didn't want to leave her… the fact alone was enough for now. More than enough, actually.

When he eventually started drawing tiny patterns on her back again, Robin finally realized that she was leaning against him with her entire weight by now, her head resting on his shoulder just like yesterday, and she knew that if she didn't put an end to that now, it would also end exactly like yesterday.

"I should probably let go of you now." She sighed under her breath, more to herself than to Snape, but as much as she knew she should indeed, her body would not obey her rational mind.

"And why is that?" He asked in return, and his hands stilled on her back while his hold on her however didn't loosen up in the slightest.

"I'm falling asleep." Robin breathed sadly. "And if you don't want a repetition of yesterday, I have to let go now."

For another moment neither of them moved at all, leaving Robin to wonder if she had even spoken up in the first place or merely dreamed her words, but when she finally forced herself to lift her head and then started pulling away, his arms around her tightened in an instant to keep her in place right where she was. An immediate shiver ran through her body when he leaned back into the sofa without a word and simply pulled her with him, their embrace never once faltering, while the movement left them in a far more comfortable position than before. Robin didn't mind in the least that it had her resting against him more than sitting like he still was at this point, and indeed, if there was such a thing as a highest place of comfort, she was sure to have reached it now.

Perhaps it was only a dream. Perhaps she had fallen asleep long before, and none of this was real. But when she focused on his chest rising and falling beneath her, on the scent that was so uniquely him, on his hands splayed out across her back… she knew that no dream could be positively overwhelming like this. Beyond anything she had imagined would ever be a part of her reality. Perhaps it would become one of those things they didn't talk about, that simply were without ever being addressed. Like their coffee habit used to be in the beginning… or the perpetual fact that they had been each other's not-date to the ball for years now. It likely would become one of those things, one of those wordless events neither dared to speak of… but Robin didn't mind at all. For once, she wouldn't question why he was allowing this to happen, wouldn't overthink what it did or didn't mean. She had given him the fair chance to escape the situation, and he had pulled her closer in return. It was easy as that, and allowing herself to simply enjoy it in return was even easier for once. Without the war within herself but with his arms wrapped around her securely, she was asleep within seconds.

… … …

Sunday came far too quickly and before long, Snape had to leave, which meant that Robin had all afternoon to explore the house she would have all to herself for a week now. Admittedly, she did understand now what he'd meant when he had said it was a telltale of neglect, but then again she absolutely didn't mind in the least, and actually found the aesthetic of it quite charming. The only thing she had to agree on was that the neighborhood was a literal nowhere. That much she discovered when she took a walk to get some fresh air on Sunday night, and she found that while the area was very much rundown and tainted by poverty, it otherwise didn't differ all too much from her parents' fancy Oxford suburb. Both were practically void of people, overcrowded with buildings and narrow streets and pathways, and most of all they both were so desperately void of nature that Robin was almost happy about the weeds growing through the cracks in the pavement. And still, she was beyond happy to have a roof over her head for the time being, and even happier that the space was filled with more books than she could read.

The week went by surprisingly fast, Robin spent the first few days reading and allowing the remainder of her injury to heal, and only on Friday she went to London to do the mandatory school shopping with the precisely calculated galleons that she had put aside nine weeks ago specifically for this reason. Honestly, she had been surprised when she had found the yearly letter from school on the doorstep on Monday morning, but when she'd thought about it, she wasn't at all surprised that Dumbledore would know where she was currently staying. He had been aware of her friendship with Snape in the first place, so why wouldn't he know that she was staying at Spinner's End at the moment? That man had eyes and ears everywhere; or perhaps Snape had simply told him about it, who knew. Then on Friday evening her very last overall money had gone into dinner, the only meal of the day, and she was actually quite happy with the fact that she would only have to spend Saturday and half of Sunday without anything to eat. That still was better than what she had calculated a few weeks ago.

When Sunday morning finally lit up the sky with a beautiful sunrise, Robin made sure to leave the house as spotless as possible, going through every single room four times, and still she arrived half an hour too early at the platform. Gods, she didn't even know what she was more desperate for at this point… a meal, the castle and highlands, or seeing Snape. Probably a good combination of all three. This year, for the first time, she found Cas and Jorien in advance to getting on the train, and when they left London fifteen minutes later, Robin found herself sitting in a compartment not only with her two roommates, but also with Simon and his two friends. Honestly, Robin had all the understanding in the world for Cas and Simon; after not seeing each other all summer, they surely deserved to sit together now at least. It was only the two other boys who irritated her quite a bit, for they kept shooting her odd glances for wearing sunglasses inside and even for only bringing one backpack as her entire luggage, and Robin found herself wondering if they were just particularly judgy or if her antics really were that odd and everyone else she usually surrounded herself with had simply gotten used to it by now. Either way, she tried to politely ignore them and their stares.

"So, how did traveling and finding plants and stuff go?" Cas finally asked after half an hour of being too busy with Simon to even look at anyone else. Robin thought that half an hour was a new record; Cas was getting better at remembering she had friends too!

"Oh, the usual…" Robin replied with a sigh and a small smirk, as she leaned back in her seat. "Walked over water, went sightseeing in Greece, almost got eaten alive by a bear, got stabbed, went-..."

"Wait, what?!"

"Yeah, there was this bear-like creature in a cave in Sweden, but we could make an escape at last after-..."

"That's probably an interesting story, but I meant the part about getting stabbed!" Jorien gave her a look, and Robin sighed again while everyone else in the compartment grew suspiciously quiet. Why on earth could she never keep her mouth shut?!

"Well, it's no big deal." She finally started addressing the topic when even the two Ravenclaw boys were staring at her with deep frowns. "I kind of broke in somewhere and then someone stabbed me in the stomach. Or… the ribs, rather. Between both."

"YOU broke in somewhere?!" One of Simon's friends blurted out before anyone else could give a more subtle reaction.

"You seem surprised." Was all Robin returned with a perfect neutral expression that had both Cas and Jorien snorting within seconds. Yeah, Robin had missed the girls after all.

"Well, uh…" The boy fought for a decent reply, but it was his friend who finally answered. "The Robin Mitchell we heard about just didn't seem like someone who wouldn't break into places."

"Perhaps you shouldn't believe everything you hear, then." She replied calmly, with a condescending edge to her tone she just couldn't help. They were a year below her, sure, but also a head taller each.

"Rumor has it you're a total overachiever in your year, or… in any, really."

"And just because I get good grades I automatically have to be boring and more by-the-rules than the headmaster himself? Is that what you mean?" Robin quirked an eyebrow at them, and the giggles coming from her roommates almost made her want to break her facade and smile as well.

"No, of course not, it's just… your reputation, and…" The poor guys looked miserable under Robin's scrutiny, scared almost to speak up, and she found that she wanted to know why.

"What other rumors are there about me, then?" She asked with a pointed expression, staring at the two Ravenclaws so intently that they looked desperately uncomfortable.

"Well, people say that… that you can read minds, and that you can curse people without even a single word. They say that you're so good that even the professors are afraid of you! Some even say that you're insane, or straight out evil… and many say that you have no emotions." The first boy replied reluctantly, and when Robin's gaze didn't falter, he added, "But we never believed any of that! Seriously, we just… thought that you really must be an overachiever if you made it to honour roll in two subjects a year earlier than everyone else! Honestly, the entire school seems to believe that you're someone not to be messed with… But we only ever believed the things we had physical proof of!"

"Really?"

"Yes! Absolutely!" They both nodded. "We would never blindly believe any reputation someone has among the students…"

"Good. Honestly, I couldn't care less about my reputation, and it's everyone's right to think about me whatever they please. But it's not my responsibility to meet their expectations." She stated with a smile now indeed, and she was met with three smirks in return and two almost relieved faces. "I do get good grades, but I'm neither a bore nor an insane genius."

"It's so funny how people always seem to think you're either just a scary psycho or a walking library." Jorien chuckled and leaned back in her seat as well while she turned to the two Ravenclaws. "Guys, Robin is one of the nicest people I've ever met, and definitely the most caring one. She literally saved my life, which almost got her killed in return! And on the other side, if there's anyone who literally never follows any rules other than her own, it's Robin. Do you guys even know that she's been excepted from most of the school rules for literal years?!"

"Really?" Simon asked now, frowning first at Jorien, then at Cas by his side, and finally at Robin. "A-about the rules, I mean! Not the… the nice part. I know you're very nice, Robin. To the people you like, at least."

"Thank you for that very accurate assessment, Simon." Robin couldn't help smirking and shook her head to herself in amusement. "I feel honoured."

"I told you she's always gone until who knows when at night! Roaming the castle and working in rooms none of us even knows about! And I told you how she's given us detention before, or how almost all of the professors actually respect her! How she knows more about potions than Professor Snape! I told you, Simon!" Cas defended herself then, and Robin tried not to snort yet again. It all was true, in a way… Well, almost all. She didn't know more than Snape, she merely knew different things than he did. Perhaps she would have to explain that to them at some point.

"I know you did, Cas, but I thought you were exaggerating!" Simon replied, and while Cas pouted, Robin and Jorien just chuckled.

"I never exaggerate!" Cas finally tried, and now literally everyone in the compartment couldn't hold their laughter anymore. Even Cas had to see that it was pretty funny after a moment, and when she started laughing too, any of the weirdness between the two groups finally faded for good. Who knew, if Cas and Simon really stayed together for now, perhaps Robin would have to get used to spending time with his friends as well. But for Cas, she certainly could do that.

______________________________

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amy-issen · 4 years ago

Audio

ok so here it is!! i spent the last week solely making and listening to this playlist like i was POSSESED because this ship is lovely and deserved a nice playlist! if anyone wants to know why i picked each song, i’m going to ramble about it extensively in the read more, so check that out if you want! hope you enjoy it! also thanks again to @birbwell for letting me use her art for the cover!

i divided this playlist in a few sections so let’s start with the first one (section one: first meeting/pining) i. in the rain - joe hisaishi i wanted to start with a short instrumental track to set the mood, and i looooove howl’s moving castle score, so i had to pick this one! the fact that it has rain in the title also helps to reference how their relationship began! ii. with every breath i take - frank sinatra “every breath that I take is a prayer that i’ll make you mine” my sister is a big sinatra/jazz fan (and also a yakuza fan) so she helped me with picking a few of the songs here! this one is very romantic, elegant and beautiful and i thought it fit the mood (and it’s what i think tachibana listens to in his free time lmao).

iii. gold rush - taylor swift “what must it be like to grow up that beautiful? with your hair falling into place like dominoes my mind turns your life into folklore i can't dare to dream about you anymore” this one is my FAVORITE song on this playlist, and one of the first i picked because this song just fits them like a glove. it’s basically pining 101, and i love that what taylor said this song is about “daydreaming about someone then snapping out of it.” i feel like the first part could be from tachibana’s perspective and the second one from kiryu’s (also giving a bit of a glimpse into the future, with the mention of a coastal town they’ll never find together) iv. first love/late spring - mitski “so please, hurry, leave me, i can't breathe please don't say you love me mune ga hachikire-sōde (my heart seems like it’s going to burst)” this one was another song i picked very early on because i love mitski, and i needed to include her here. i just wanted something to symbolize the trust that tachibana and kiryu have to share to work together, and the feelings that emerge from it, if that makes any sense. i don’t think this has a specific perspective, because i feel like this could work from both kiryu’s and tachibana’s (mostly kiryu though) v. real estate - adam melchor “every time I wonder how i'd carry on without you i'm runnin' out of real estate tryna make all the right moves i don't wanna hesitate i would bet the house on you “ do you UNDERSTAND how satisfying it was to find a song named real estate for them?? come ooon. ok that’s not all of my reasoning for it but it’s like. most of it, lmao another song i felt was about trust and feelings. (also a bit of a glimpse into the future, because i’m sad) vi. i get a kick out of you - ella fitzgerald “i get no kick from champagne mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all so tell me why should it be true that i get a kick out of you?” another one my sister recommended. i originally was gonna go with sinatra’s version of this, but i love this one and it just wouldn’t leave my brain. again, one from mostly tachibana’s perspective, get this man to sing this on karaoke night right now. vii. like real people do - hozier “i will not ask you where you came from i would not ask and neither would you honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips we could just kiss like real people do” this is one of my all time favorites from hozier and, again, it just fit perfectly. tachibana and kiryu have both lived some very... troubled lives so far, and while they’re depending on this trust they have in eachother, none of them really care to know about what they’ve done or who they are. this is mostly from kiryu’s perspective, specially with this metaphor of being rescued/dug up from the earth with the whole being found in the rain and saved by tachibana and his poor driving skills. viii. delicate - taylor swift “this ain't for the best my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me... we can't make any promises now, can we, babe? but you can make me a drink” y’all are going to have to forgive me for picking TWO taylor swift songs but COME OOOON this is another one that i picked early on because i could draw so many parallels between the lyrics and things that they both said in that car scene on chapter 9 (mostly tachibana though) and i kept harassing my sister with screenshots to prove my point and i’m gonna do it again

ANYWAYS i’ve made my case, and now we enter the second section of the playlist at last ( section 2: actual romantic/fluffy songs because this is a ship playlist) i. good old-fashioned lover boy - queen “dining at the ritz we'll meet at nine (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 o'clock) precisely i will pay the bill, you taste the wine driving back in style in my saloon will do quite nicely just take me back to yours that will be fine” is this a bit of a cliché? yes. did i want to include it because it’s very cute and i’d like to imagine kiryu and tachibana having a nice date night with no people trying to kill them all the time? also yes. i love this song.

ii. stay with me/mayonaka no door - miki matsuraba “you in your gray jacket with that oh-so-familiar coffee stain just as you always are the two of us reflect in the window display stay with me knocking on midnight's door i beg you not to go home tonight” (translated lyrics) is anyone not obsessed with this song lately? this is the only song here i’m blaming tiktok for making me listen to it lol. in any way, this song is deceptive because it sounds really happy but is actually quite melancholic. i thought it fit their relationship well, and it seemed like a good addition to the playlist with it’s 80′s city pop vibes.

iii. on melancholy hill - gorillaz (covered by matt forbes) “just looking out on the day of another dream where you can't get what you want, but you can get me so let's set out to sea, love 'cause you are my medicine when you're close to me" this is a gorillaz song but i went with this cover because it fit the feeling of the playlist a little better. another song that i just love very deeply and i thought fit the sentiment of kiryu being like “hey i know we have Big problems and you’re very sad in the moment but i’m here for you” iv. (i love you) for sentimental reasons - nat king cole "i think of you every morning dream of you every night darling, i'm never lonely whenever you are in sight" surprisingly, not one that my sister recommended, but one i found for myself while looking for quiet romantic songs. i feel like this is tachibana's reply to kiryu being there for him and helping him. plus, idk i just wanted to imagine them slow dancing to this. v. positions - ariana grande (covered by travis atreo) "perfect, perfect you're too good to be true but I get tired of runnin', fuck it now, i’m runnin' with you" i picked this cover because i felt like using ariana's one would be a little goofy for this section lmao, but i really like this song and how it's about commitment and doing everything to make a relationship work. i just wanted to throw some sexy vibes before this playlist delved into depressing stuff. also if you telling me tachibana wouldn't absolute body a tiktok set to this song you're lying to yourself. (section 3: oh no this is getting sad) i. forever - labrinth "i'll live forever" i love everything labrinth makes, the euphoria soundtrack lives in my mind rent free and this is my favorite one. this barely has any lyrics so, again, mostly a track i picked for its intrumentals and feeling overall. mostly preparing you for the sad stuff ahead. ii. hong kong - gorillaz "you swallow me i'm a pill on your tongue here on the nineteenth floor the neon lights make me calm" this is my favorite gorillaz song, by FAR, and i think it's introspective vibe really fits tachibana's character. not really a song about relationship but i really wanted to include it because it's just such a GORGEOUS song. iii. fragments - severon another instrumental track! this one i stole from a playlist my sister made for a fic i wrote last year. again. sad vibes. iv. sign of the times - harry styles (covered by LANY) "remember everything will be alright we can meet again somewhere somewhere far away from here" i loved the synth-y vibe this cover had, while still keeping this song's sad "our lives are dangerous and i'm about to die" vibes. i mostly wanted to evoke the vibe from the scene where tachibana agrees to go with lao gui after kiryu gets shot. just really sad all around. v. so close - jon mclaughlin "we're so close to reaching that famous happy end almost believing this one's not pretend let's go on dreaming though we know we are so close, so close, and still so far" me? picking a song from disney's enchanted??? for a playlist??? it's more likely than you think. idk this song just gives me that vibe of being so close to being happy and together, almost reminiscing and wondering what could have been. but it just... won't happen. vi. as the world caves in - matt maltese "yes, it's you i welcome death with as the world, as the world caves in" oops, yes, i had to go there. just couldn't resist including this song, and i feel like it's really self-explanatory. vii. places we won't walk - bruno major "neon lights shine bold and bright buildings grow to dizzy heights people come alive at night in places we won't walk" again, i feel like this song speaks for itself. a bit of a meditation on kiryu's perspective on things that could have happened, things they would have done, that kiryu will just have to do alone from now on. viii. carry me out - mitski "i drive when it rains at night, when it rains, i drive and the headlight spirits they lead me down the styx so black it shines and carry me out carry me out"

possibly the saddest and the most powerful song in this playlist, because i just had to put a mitski song again. the image of kiryu carrying tachibana's body is just constantly in my mind when i listen to this, but i could also see this song being from the perspective of tachibana's spirit. ix. arms tonite - mother mother "i died in your arms tonight i slipped through into the afterlife it was nice" lmao this felt a bit like a cruel joke to include, but i didn't want this playlist to end TOO depressingly. it's a nod to tachibana dying in kiryu's arms, sure, but also it's romantic and possibly a little hopeful (tachibana lives au!!! orpheus and eurydice au!!! fuck it, idk!!) xi. everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears "there's a room where the light won't find you holding hands while the walls come tumbling down when they do, i'll be right behind you so glad we've almost made it so sad they had to fade it everybody wants to rule the world" not a recommendation from my sister, but it is her favorite song, and she was happy that i included it. another 80's bop with sad lyrics! i feel like this is a lovely summary of their story together and it feels like a nice little bow to wrap up the playlist. i hope you enjoyed my long ass explanations! i might add songs later (or make an entire second playlist altogether for the fic i'm writing rn, but let's not get ahead of ourselves)

#tachikiryu #yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #kazuma kiryu #tetsu tachibana #playlist #audio #THIS IS SUCH A LONG POST I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE ALL THIS ARRRRGH #praying this shows up in the tags lmao

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queen-of-my-goofball-army · 4 years ago

Text

An Ode To Miyazaki:

Hi everyone! So for my final paper for film, we had to pick our own director of our choosing and talk about them extensively between the attributes that make them special. Our course focused on the narrative and technical styles of directors. For my final project, I have chosen my biggest hero in the world of animation and somebody that drastically changed my life as a young child, Hayao Miyazaki. Learning about him for this project gave me so much insight into not just his films but who he is as a person. I hope that my paper is as interesting for you to read as it was for me to do research for!

1. Hayao Miyazaki, often referred to as the Japanese Walt Disney is the front runner of his animation studio Studio Ghibli. I picked him because I already have sufficient knowledge and love of his films. One of the first memories that my parents love to remind me of is my first time watching Totoro and laughing at the introduction characters. Miyazaki himself stands out for a number of reasons. Over the years, Miyazaki has made a humongous name out of himself, one of his most famous movies Spirited Away became the most popular film to ever be released in Japan and also won the academy award for the best-animated film that year. His most “popular” films (I say popular in air quotes because it is nearly impossible for people to agree on a favorite) remain the aforementioned Spirited Away, My Neighbor Totoro, Howl’s Moving Castle, and Princess Mononoke. Beginning his career as a simple animator for Toei animation, he worked as an in-between artist. It was here that he met his future collaborator at Ghibli, Isao Takahata. His first big directorial debut in film before founding Ghibli was a team effort without Takahata was Lupin The Third, The Castle Of Cagliostro. His first successful movie was one that was based upon his own manga Nausicaa of the Valley Of The Wind. The first official Miyazaki movie that was made with Ghibli was one of my personal all-time favorites that had ever been created, Castle In The Sky. For many children, especially ones with parents who are lovers of a film like mine, Miyazaki was one of the first animators that I was introduced to. His films have become classics for every fan of animation, being referenced in culture, specifically back when Disney owned Studio in Toy Story 3, Bonnie has a Totoro.

2. So, this brings up the question, how does one recognize a film by Miyazaki? You can always expect for him to be critically acclaimed, for there to be some element of magic and whimsy in the way that he animates, for there to be something to do with flight (whether it be dealing with airplanes like in Porco Rosso, the idea of flight in Howl’s Moving Castle, or a floating castle up in the sky in Castle In The Sky.), his heroines are always strong-minded and live by their own rules never bowing down to anybody, his love stories are dynamic and fulfilled, a sweeping score by Joe Hizashi, and they have a meaning about nature somewhere, mostly about why it needs to be protected.

Let’s start by breaking him down narratively. The thing that is always in every Miyazaki film no matter which one you decide upon watching, is that his female characters are always strong-willed no matter what. In many ways, I think that he writes women better than Disney does. He has gone on record saying “Many of my movies have strong female leads—brave, self-sufficient girls that don't think twice about fighting for what they believe with all their heart. They'll need a friend, or a supporter, but never a savior. Any woman is just as capable of being a hero as any man.” Sometimes, this will cause them to come across as reckless, or stupid, but in my opinion, I have always looked up to his female characters and the way that they are portrayed. My personal favorite female character that he has ever brought to life through the screen is Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle. She is strong-minded, not willing to put up with any of Howl’s dramatics, kind, an incredible adult figure for Markal, endlessly sympathetic to her friend’s plights (namely Howl and Calcifer), and somebody that I can always look up to. I spent most of my childhood looking up to characters like Kiki in Kiki’s Delivery Service, Chihiro in Spirited Away, or one of my personal favorite underrated girls, Fio in Porco Rosso. All of these female characters are independent and never let themselves be taken advantage of by anybody.

Another trait that can always be found narratively in his films is that Miyazaki is an airplane/ air travel fanatic. He absolutely loves airplanes, even to the point where his latest film, The Wind Rises was based upon the life of one of the first airplane manufacturers in WWII. Almost all of his films will involve something about flying in the air. Even with the ones that he didn’t direct and he just simply wrote. His obsession with flight is something that stemmed from his childhood and he never saw them as a thing to be used for war “airplanes are not tools for war. They are not for making money. Airplanes are beautiful dreams. Engineers turn dreams into reality.” My personal favorite of all of his flight animation is used in Howl’s Moving Castle when Howl and Sophie “fly” over the heads of all the people below them.

Narratively also one of the biggest things that set apart his films from any others is his focus on nature. The idea of protecting the beauty of nature is something that he has always stood by. A lot of the time, America tries to prove that it can make films about nature as well to usually varying results. I think that nobody can sell an environmental message quite like my biggest hero for Japanese animation. One of the main movies that focus on his will to protect nature above all else is Princess Mononoke. He always manages to animate nature in such a beautiful and majestic way no matter where the film is set.

I also think that a narrative trait of his that often gets overlooked is how beautiful the romance in his films can be. He never has a romance between two characters that feels stale or boring. I love the fact that you can pick any number of his films and the chance of there being a romance that you’ll get sucked into is a very large one. Everybody has their personal favorites, I love Howl and Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle but my best friend loves Sousuke and Ponyo from Ponyo. He has on record saying that “I’ve become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue. Rather, I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where the two mutually inspire each other to live - if I’m able to, then perhaps I’ll be closer to portraying a true expression of love.” Writing romance between two characters can be a very tricky thing which is why it’s always amazing when he can continually pull it off despite everything and how many films that he has made over the years. The beauty of having both a strong and independent male and the female character is that they can both lean on one another for love and support. Probably the biggest supporter of this is Whisper Of The Heart, a film that he wrote instead of directing. The romance is what makes up the entire film. It’s a beautiful love story about how two young teenagers fall in love with each other. The romance is something that continually keeps me coming back for more every time.

Technical style Miyazaki can always be assured to deliver breathtakingly stunning animation. There is a reason why so many people leave his films starving because the food that he draws always looks so good. For me though, it’s the backgrounds that stand out above all else. It’s nearly impossible to have one favorite shot in one of his films but I as a matter of fact do have one. The most breathtaking animation in any Miyazaki film is the scene where Howl takes Sophie to see his secret garden. Everything about this scene never fails to make my breath catch. It’s such a profoundly beautiful moment and how it is animated is something that I haven’t forgotten since my first initial viewing of the film when I was seven.

Another iconic technical trait is that Disney did a fantastic job dubbing the films from their original Japanese language into English. Back when Ghibli films first started to become popular, they needed a way for an American audience to see them. So Pixar’s CFO at the time, John Lassater made a deal with Ghibli that they would dub all the films from their original language for a brand new audience. Growing up, this was how I watched all of Miyazaki’s films. I fell in love with the way that they sounded in English. To this very day, I have yet to see one of his films in any other language. I don’t think that anybody could have dubbed them better. Ever since Ghibli and Disney went their separate ways and they went to GKids the dubs haven’t been the same.

Finally, the last technical trait is that a Miyazaki film will always have a score done by his longtime collaborator Joe Hizashi. The score is such a big part of what makes Miyazaki’s films his own. They are what get you sucked in through their whimsical and magical tones; they always fit the vibes that he’s going through at that moment. There is also the element of sound. Every Miyazaki film has a distinct sound effect that will set it apart from the one before it.

3. The first film that I want to look at is my personal favorite of all his films that he has made so far if you were to force me to pick just one Howl’s Moving Castle. Released in 2004, it was the 9th film that the director came out with. It has an 8.2 out of 10 on IMDB and an 87% on Rotten Tomatoes. The storyline for the movie follows a young woman named Sophie. She gets a curse set upon her by the Witch of the Waste and when she leaves home she finds the infamous Howl’s Moving Castle. This is the second Ghibli movie voiced by a Batman live action actor. Christian Bale voiced Howl Pendragon after Michael Keaton played the titular Porco Rosso.

Narratively this is definitely a Miyazaki film. From how strong of a female character Sophie is I spent most of my childhood looking up to her as a character. Strong female characters are everywhere in his films and in my opinion, Sophie is one of the strongest. Another strong factor is that flight plays a major part in this film. One of Howl’s main powers is that he has the ability to fly around. This leads to my favorite scene of flight in any Miyazaki film when Howl takes Sophie’s hand and they “fly” over the tops of the city down below them. All of his early films up until the last few were set in someplace other than Japan. This one is set in Europe, and he takes a lot of time while in the cities to show off all the different types of buildings while Sophie tours around the city.

Technically speaking this is also a Miyazaki film and holds all the titular traits of being so. The animation is utterly for lack of a better word, magical and spellbinding. It takes my breath away every time that I rewatch it. The food looks incredible, one scene that most of Miyazaki’s fans always think of when this movie is brought up is Calcifer making the food for Howl, Sophie, and Markal to eat. The dub for this film is also one of Disney’s best dubs for Miyazaki films. It even brings actors to the table that I usually would not like to see in other films like Christian Bale. I haven’t loved him in any other films than this one. Billy Crystal is a stand-out as well as my favorite fire demon Calcifer. The score is done by Joe Hizashi as well. My favorite part of the score is the main theme which has Howl and Sophie floating above the people below. The sound effect that follows throughout this film is the steady creaking of the castle itself.

Princess Mononoke was the first time that Miyazaki ever “retired”. Most of the time, whenever he tries to retire, he always comes back. A lot of his colleague's joke that it’s because he physically can’t stop working. He animated most of this movie by himself. Before Spirited Away it was Japan’s most famous film to date. The story about a young man who is just trying to erase the curse that was set upon him by an angry boar and it leads him to a place called Iron Town is something that never fails to amaze me. While in Iron Town, Ashitaka meets a young woman named San who was taken in by wolves and he finds himself caught between a war involving humans and the gods of the forest.

Narratively this is definitely a Miyazaki film. It has a strong female lead, focusing most of its screen time on how important it is to protect and preserve nature as a whole. The idea of protecting nature is such a moving part of the film, as we see what it does when man takes over the forest. We see how distraught it makes the Gods of this world and how they wish that the humans would just go away. However, you also see it from the point of view of the villain of the film Lady Eboshi, who also regularly helps lepers and people who would often never get work outside of her offering them a home and a family. I have regularly gotten into a debate with my mom over which side is “right” and which side “wrong” over the course of the last few years of me being a massive fan of this movie. She takes the side of the forest while I see Ashitaka’s side that everybody should just get along and interact in peace and harmony. Miyazaki never shoves the idea of nature down your throat. That is not what this film is. It’s instead about the beauty of what we have and learning to appreciate it.

On a technical level, this film is fantastic as well. It blows my mind that Miyazaki-san animated most of it all by himself. The backgrounds are sweeping and utterly gorgeous showing off the time period of the film. The fight sequences which make up the bulk of the film’s running time are engaging, thrilling, and fabulously animated. Mononoke’s score was done by Joe Hizashi as well. Its score is beautiful and I always find myself getting sucked into it, especially for the more dynamic scenes with Ashitaka and San. The sound effect for this film uses nature as a backdrop for brutality. Ashitaka’s arrows don’t just come out of his bow, they screech through the air.

Finally, my last film that we will be focusing on, Kiki’s Delivery Service was made in 1989 a year after his cult phenomena My Neighbor Totoro and was his fifth animated feature. Kiki is a young girl that is hoping to become a young witch in training. However, to do so she has to train a year away from home. She and her cat Jiji find a town by the sea where she learns her true strength and what she can really do to help others. Hayao Miyazaki didn't want to bore the audience during the film's end credits by using just the names. He set it up to be like a mini-sequel so that the audience would leave the theatre feeling happy.

Narratively this has all the traits that one should be familiar with and associate with a Miyazaki film. It has a strong-minded female character at the source of it that young girls can look up to and admire. As a kid, Kiki was my favorite female character of his because I loved her strength and her dedication to what she was good at. She knew that she was still young and had a lot to learn but even though she gets depressed she doesn’t let that stop her in the long run and will still save her love interest Tombo. The romance in this film is by far one of the sweetest. I love the interactions between the characters and the way that they both inspire one another to be better than they are. The idea of flight is basically the focal point of everything. Kiki finds that her best trait is that she flies incredibly well and decides to create her own flying delivery service.

Technically this also has a lot of traits that Miyazaki made a name for himself in doing. The animation is spectacular, especially for Kiki’s flying. I could watch her fly around all day and that was the idea that he was going for while making the film. The sweeping score by Joe Hizashi, especially in my favorite song A Town With An Ocean View, is something that I’ll often listen to outside of the film itself. The sound effects for the film are meant to be calming. From the first sound that you hear of the wind rolling through the reeds while Kiki lies against the grass to the waves when she finally finds a home.

4. Miyazaki as a director has inspired me since I was way too young to even remember. When I was a kid I would pretend to run around my apartment building's front yard imagining that I lived in a big house in front of a camper tree like the one in Totoro. His movies are perfect for children that “suffer” from having an overactive imagination. His movies are everything that is bright and beautiful in the world. The animation never fails to take my breath away, the characters and stories are unforgettable, the soundtracks sweep me away and tell stories themselves. His movies are something that even my parents, who are not anime fans, can watch over and over again. I think that speaks for itself. Miyazaki makes films that are art, not just animated films.

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