#I love Taylor and will always be a fan but a more silent one from now on

[steddieas-shegoes]

documentary

for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'behind the music'

rated m | 723 words | cw: implied sexual content | tags: modern era, famous corroded coffin, established steddie

📹📹📹📹📹📹📹📹📹📹

"Steve!" Gareth calls from the couch of the living room, not caring that Eddie was fast asleep in his chair. "It's on!"

Steve rushes into the room, nearly falling face first when he slips on the corner of the rug. He's wiping his hands on a towel, probably wet from doing the dishes after dinner.

Jeff and Frankie are sitting on the other couch, leaning forward to watch.

Eddie's still asleep somehow.

"Metal bands have always been expected to just make due with whatever already exists in the metal community. 'Don't play acoustic' and 'You can't play Coachella' and 'You can't feature a pop star.' But we just like music. We wanna share music with people."

"Listen to you, Jeff. So poetic," Frankie teases. Jeff shoves him, but they keep watching the ad for their documentary.

"We live in a time where people don't have to just like one thing. Someone can have a playlist that's got us right next to Dolly Parton and Taylor Swift if they want. If people saw my playlists, they'd think a group of teenagers made it."

Eddie doesn't even wake up when his voice fills the room, his face on the screen.

"Corroded Coffin announces world tour with a new opening guest for every show. The artists range anywhere from Chappell Roan to Sleep Token." A male reporter is shown on the screen.

"No one's doing it like them, that's why we love them," a few fans say into a camera during an interview.

"The members of Corroded Coffin refused to do a documentary for years, too busy writing, recording, and performing music for the masses. But they've taken time off this year, focusing on personal time with loved ones and staying out of the limelight they worked so hard to reach. We finally managed to sit down with them and find out who they are...behind the music."

The ad changes to a fast food commercial and Steve laughs.

"That was somehow more dramatic than anything Eddie's ever done," he says as he walks over to wake up his still sleeping boyfriend. "Ed, you missed it."

Eddie's eyes blink open, but he doesn't seem to remember that he fell asleep with everyone in the room. He grabs Steve's thighs and pulls him down so he's straddling his waist.

"Hey, big boy. Was just dreamin' about you."

Steve laughs. "You can tell me all about it later. When your best friends are not sitting a few feet away."

Eddie turns his head, but doesn't take his hands off of Steve's hips. "You should all go. I have business to attend to."

"You missed the ad, dumbass," Gareth says, throwing one of the pillows at Eddie. "Keep your hands to yourself until the next run."

"Don't you think it's already on social media?" Frankie asked before Eddie could.

"Probably, but it's different on tv."

Eddie squeezes Steve's hips, but lets him get up. He sits up and smiles up at Steve. "Later?"

"If you can stay awake, sure."

Steve leaves the room and Jeff, Frankie, and Gareth all start teasing Eddie immediately. He lets them; He knows he's a lovesick idiot.

When the next ad comes on as scheduled, Eddie watches it silently.

He pulls his phone out and calls Wayne, asking if he saw it.

And then he starts crying.

Everyone's in complete shock.

"Steve! Eddie's crying!" Gareth yells.

This time when Steve comes rushing into the room, it's with panic in his eyes. He seems to realize what's going on the moment he sees Eddie, though. He shoos everyone out of the room as he makes his way to him, kneeling in front of him and placing his hands on his face.

The guys don't hear much, but they can make out Eddie blubbering "we worked so hard for this and it's happening" and Steve's gentle shushing and praise.

"Should we get pizza delivered?" Frankie asks.

"I think now's a good time to just leave," Jeff suggests. "We can get hibachi."

"Hell yeah!" Frankie fist pumps and opens the front door, holding it open as Jeff walks through it.

Gareth looks back towards where Steve has Eddie's head against his shoulder, hand in his hair. He smiles to himself as he leaves to join Jeff and Frankie.

They really did work their asses off to get here.

[hunter470]

My 9-1-1 RANT

Ok, I don’t normally do these types of posts, but I can’t move on until I get some things out. These are just my thoughts about the latest episodes of 9-1-1 as well as overall comments on the Buck/Tommy relationship. These opinions are mine and are based on the countless hours of TV I’ve watched in my 54 years on this planet, as well as my knowledge of writing and how Hollywood operates. I’m not confirming that any of this is true or are the real intentions of anyone involved with the show. Just my opinions. So, you can agree with me or not. I’m not trying to persuade anyone in any way. Also, I’m not going to get into endless arguments about my opinions but feel free to comment if you want, I just don’t promise I’ll reply. 

Ok, here we go. Sorry it’s so long. Like I said earlier, I just needed to get it out. So many wasted opportunities.

If you think TM cares what the fans want, you’re seriously kidding yourself. If he did, Buddie would have been canon a long time ago. The only thing he cares about is ratings and his vision for the show, which can change at a moment’s notice with no rhyme or reason as we’ve seen. 

Although I loved Buck and Tommy together, I knew the show wouldn’t do their story justice. So, no matter what TM or OS have said, the bi story was only to garner publicity, draw in new viewers, and increase ratings especially with the show moving to a new network. There was no altruistic reason behind it so don’t kid yourself. They knew there was an audience for the story because of all the Buddie shippers. Just remember, it’s called show business, not show friends for a reason.

Do you think OS really cares about bi representation? Based on his latest comments and non-apology it’s obvious he only cares about getting the stories that garner him the most screen time and press. Seriously, read his latest interviews. He’s excited to get to have fun now. So, congrats OS, Buck gets to F around. Just shows how most, if not all, actors are ego driven no matter what they say. Sorry not sorry.

TM has commented that he doesn’t owe anyone anything. In fact, I recall him saying to Buddie fans if they don’t like it, read fanfiction. If that didn’t clue you in, then you weren’t reading the room. Kinda reminds me of another show runner…for those who watched H50 you know who I’m talking about. That’s why I don’t get heavily invested in these shows. I’ll watch but I never expect anything I like to last…especially if it has to do with gay relationships.

It says a lot that the show remained completely silent about the bullying and death threats Lou received just for playing a role he was happy to play. Again, they really didn’t care because they knew he wasn’t going to be there after episode six. What a great message for all the bullies…just keep bullying and you’ll get what you want. 

Again, reread OS’s interviews. He was doing the Hollywood double speak. Says just enough to keep you hooked with hope to get you to watch even when he knew all along it wasn’t lasting. It really was as clear as day if you go back and read what he said. 

Also, if you thought Buck was going to get into a meaningful long-term relationship, then you didn’t watch the video from the You Tuber “Call Me Chato” that TM posted on his Facebook. The video was all about characters and how they should always stay fundamentally the same with minimal development - I’m paraphrasing. However, Buck is the golden retriever, heart so big it gets broken, character who will remain on a hamster wheel and unlucky in love because that’s who he is. If he changes too much it shifts the dynamic, which only happens if the show was ending. 

If you thought the writers would do justice to a bisexual story, then you haven’t been watching the show closely. There’s been minimal Buck/Tommy relationship development on screen. Taylor got more. Viewers were lucky to get crumbs in the limited screen time Buck and Tommy got. Then, a breakup out of left field? One minute Buck is saying Tommy is it for him and he wants him to move in, and then it’s over? If he truly felt deeply for Tommy, why not fight to keep him? Why give up so easily and let him walk away? What’s the point? Also, to end it on a terrible stereotype is yet another clue. Horrible writing and another sign that TM and OS had zero investment in the relationship. The whole break up was rushed and made no sense. Essentially, it was just used to draw people in and to get Buck single and sleeping around again because that’s who he is. I for one won’t care for any of Buck’s future relationships. I mean, why would I when they never last. 

Also, writers that give you a 66-year-old police sergeant and a 10 y/o boy landing a heavily damaged plane on an active freeway in LA with no prior training, and sorry playing video game flight simulators is not training, is some Sharknado level writing, which is not a compliment. Oh, and that whole story was truly the shows “jumping the shark” moment. If you don’t know what the term “jumping the shark” means, look it up and try to tell me I’m wrong. 

Not having Tommy involved in the three part premier episodes, other than a few minutes at a birthday party, was so obvious as to the show’s intent. I mean, the fake captain from Hotshots got more screen time. 

They claim they wanted someone for Buck that was connected to him and the 118 and then you don’t use the character at all. You wanted Buck off the hamster wheel? What a crock! Such a wasted opportunity.

Since it’s been confirmed episode 6 was filmed before 5, Tim’s just playing god with peoples’ feelings and crushing their hearts at this point. I mean, how do you have such a great episode (5) and a wonderful speech by Josh (6) just to break them up? Plus, having Tommy break up after six months? That man was all in, which was obvious in episode 5.

Guess it shouldn’t be a surprise that’s how TM would handle things after that horrible Tarlos breakup. At least on Lone Star we knew Rafa (Carlos) was a main cast member so there was hope. Lou was a guest star so it seems kinda final based on his interviews. Again, what was the point? They could have had Buck's bi revelation be with a random character. So, building up the Buck/Tommy relationship just to take it away was to inflict the most pain. Good job. 

Do I think the show will make Buddie canon? Who knows…one thing I do know is I wouldn’t trust them if they did. Also, even if Tommy somehow returns, I don’t trust TM with anything related to this story. Sure, hope he’s happy with ruining the show for so many people. Again, like another show runner I mentioned in item 4 above. Honestly, I can’t believe the Buddie fans have stayed for so long. That’s commitment, I guess. 

Do I think Lou should go back to 9-1-1? Hell no! He was screwed over by both TM and OS. Prove it to me otherwise. However, it’s up to him and of course, he loves acting so I wouldn’t blame him.

Finally, even though I’ve watched the show since the beginning, it no longer brings me joy. There are too many other TV shows to stick with one I no longer enjoy. So yes, I’m announcing my departure, and I don’t give an F what OS, you, or anyone else thinks about it. Not that any of this matters any way…

[xtra7s]

It's me again, how about Renee and r reading thirst tweets??? Or Renee flirting with r and she just loves making her flustered. Something like Renee always calling her "baby" I just can't get my mind out of these thoughts.

Also, love you and your works darling<3

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋: 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐒 ─── 𝘙𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘦 𝘙𝘢𝘱𝘱 𝘹 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

Synopsis: Renee and Y/N get to read thirst tweets!!!

Content: Renee Rapp x Fem!Reader, fluff, Renee bullying the hell out of Y/N(lovingly)

Word Count: 1.2k

a/n: please keep these comin baby. I am in writers block like crazy right now but this shit was fun to write. Hope you enjoy, (let me know if you want 'something special: Paris Trip' (;

masterlist | first part | second part

The studio lights glowed softly as Renee Rapp and Y/N settled into their seats, ready for another interview. This time, the format was a bit different. There was no host, and they were told that they would be reading and reacting to "thirst tweets" from their fans. Renee and Y/N exchanged amused glances, knowing this would be a fun and cheeky experience.

The camera starts rolling, and Renee perks up in her chair.

"Hey guys what's up, my name is Renee Rapp and this is my lovely costar Y/N YL/N, and we're here with BuzzFeed to read our thirst tweets."

Y/N smiles softly at Renee as she speaks, turning to the camera playfully when she's done. "I'm so excited about this you have no idea. Let's see what our fans have to say."

The first tweet appeared on the phone, and the playful banter began.

Y/N giggles at the tweet, reading it out in between breaths. "Is it just me, or does Y/N's smile have the power to cure any bad day? Asking for a friend.'"

Y/N grins and looks up at Renee, and then back to the camera. "Well, I'm flattered. If my smile has that kind of power, maybe I should start offering smile therapy."

"I can attest to the smile therapy. It works wonders." Renee speaks with a smile that matches Y/N's, leaning forward in her chair like she's telling a secret.

Renee shakes her head with a shit-eating grin on her face at the next tweet, "I wish Renee Rapp and Y/N YL/N were my birth parents, actually no, I wish I was in a throuple with them."

Renee tilts her head, looking at the camera intently. "I think you need to decide if you wanna be in a throuple with your parents, and that's something you should talk to your therapist about. And I don't know who 'Y/N YL/N' is." Renee speaks with a laugh, looking over at Y/N.

Y/N has a tint of pink covering her cheeks as she shoves Renee's shoulder playfully. "that's, I need a minute to process that one" She giggles, scrolling to the next tweet.

As the tweets became bolder, the chemistry between Renee and Y/N intensified. The playful flirting was accompanied by shared laughter, and the studio audience couldn't get enough.

Y/N widens her eyes at this one, a silent laugh coming out of both Renee and her. 

"Perfect threesome? Me, Y/N YL/N, and a tub of peanut butter. How you feelin' about that one baby?" Renee murmurs, looking over at Y/N softly.

Y/N raises an eyebrow, her face scrunching into a grimace. "that-" she shrugs awkwardly as her face gets darker in a shade of maroon, "makes me feel weird."

Renee smirks as she sees the effect she had on Y/N, grabbing the phone gently from Y/N's hand and reading the next tweet.

"Renee Rapp I am simply just a hole for you."

Renee sits there in silence for a second, pushing her tongue against her cheek while she laughs. "And I am simply just a fucking- I'm a person, I'm a human being. What do you want me to do to your holes? Be more specific."

As the interview shifted back to a more traditional format, An interviewer named Taylor came in and decided to focus on the professional aspects of Renee Rapp and Y/N's collaboration on "Unveiling Hearts." The studio lights dimmed slightly, creating an intimate ambiance as Taylor delved into questions about their characters, on-screen dynamics, and the impact of the show.

Taylor greets both Y/N and Renee, getting into her questions smoothly. "Alright, let's talk about 'Unveiling Hearts.' The chemistry between your characters is undeniable. How do you both manage to bring such authenticity to your roles?"

"Well, I think it helps that Y/N and I have a natural connection. It's not hard to portray a convincing love story when you're working with someone as talented as her." Renee speaks as she looks at Y/N, grinning at her.

Y/N blushed as she looked away shyly, "Aw, thanks, Renee. It's definitely a collaborative effort. We bounce off each other's energy, on and off the set."

Taylor nods and moves right into another question, "Fans are loving the romantic storyline this season. Any hints you can give us about what's in store for your characters?"

"Let's just say there might be a few more unexpected twists and turns in the romance department. You'll have to tune in to see." Renee leaned in, speaking with a playful glint in her eyes.

Y/N matched Renee's expression, placing her hands on her lap. "Renee loves to keep me on my toes, both in the script and in real life."

As the interview progressed, Renee couldn't resist injecting a flirtatious edge into her responses, causing Y/N to squirm in her seat. The studio audience picked up on the dynamic between the two, and Taylor couldn't help but smile at the palpable chemistry.

Taylor smirks at the banter between the costars, "What's it like working together? Any memorable moments behind the scenes?"

Renee looked at Y/N, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she narrowed them at her. "Oh, where do I begin? There are so many, I just can't choose. Probably that one time when we visited Paris, the Eiffel Tower was-

Y/N smacked Renee's arm quickly, but not hard enough to hurt her. "And that's enough out of her mouth." She spoke with a nervous grin, narrowing her eyes back at Renee.

The interviewer raised her eyebrows as the teasing continued, with Renee casually dropping endearments and playful comments throughout the interview.

"Working with Y/N is a dream. She's not just a talented co-star; she's my partner in crime, my confidante, my baby." Renee speaks with a flirty tone, gripping Y/N's knee and squeezing it softly before letting go.

At this point, Y/N's face was covered in a deep shade of maroon. "Okay, Renee, you're really going for it with the baby thing today."

Renee playfully flipped her hair and winked at Y/N, "Can't help it. It just feels right, baby."

The interview concluded with laughter and a lingering sense of warmth. The fans would undoubtedly dissect every word and gesture, adding a new layer to the mystery of the real-life connection between Renee Rapp and Y/N.

Renee wraps her arm around Y/N's shoulder as they finish reading the tweets, "Thanks for watching, hope you had fun, thank you for all these.. Very sweet.. Tweets, I will be thinking about them before I go to bed."

Y/N says to the camera, a false concern look on her face as she smiles at the camera, Renee and her waving as the screen fades to black.

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

please write some conrad fics, the tag has been DRY

Is there a Aaron Dessner that has produced that is not heartbreaking? The Great war, Tolerate it, Right where you left me, You’re losing me, Would’ve could’ve should’ve. I have nothing against Jack, but when Aaron is involved, things…hit different.  

The acronym switching from love of my life to loss of my life *UGLY CRYING*

Warnings: heartbreak

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

When coming to Cousins for Belly and Jeremiah’s wedding, you knew it would be impossible to go through a whole weekend of wedding festivities without speaking to Conrad. You tried to avoid him, but he was always right there. In the kitchen talking with Laurel. In the living room with Jeremiah and Belly. In the backyard with Steven helping set up the chairs and tables under Taylor’s instructions. 

At least he didn’t come to the wedding with a girl. It would have hurt too much.

‘’I can’t believe our Belly is getting married,’’ you said as you all sat in the living room for the smallest bachelorette party. 

There was no male stripper dancing or crazy alcohol consumption like you see in movies. Just matching pajamas, a plastic ‘bride’ crown Anika got online, and sparkling mocktails. Laurel felt out of place among the younger girls, but it was her daughter’s bachelorette. She couldn’t not be there.

Taylor took a cupcake from the table, all decorated to perfection by you. ‘’I would have never guessed she would be the first of us to marry. We all thought it would be you and Con—’’ She stopped herself when she saw Belly looking at you, realizing that if she finished her sentence it would hurt you. 

A silence fell and a lump settled in your throat. You brought your drink to your lips, wishing there was alcohol in it. Drowning your sorrows in alcohol is not the solution, but it’s good at temporarily numbing the pain.

I thought that too.

Your parents bought their holiday house in Cousins where you were ten and you had known the Fishers and the Conklins since. Susannah had invited you over to play with her kids — to make friends. Although you were closer to Jeremiah and Belly in age, it was Conrad who got along with you the best. He taught you how to play Uno, came to get you when you swam too far at the beach and helped you clean your dress when stained it eating a blue popsicle. He was always nice to you. Patient and caring. As you got older, he was only looking at you. Everyone noticed, but no one said anything. He’s just always been yours. 

Until he wasn’t. 

You didn’t want to sour the ambiance or steal the attention from the bride-to-be, so you got up and excused yourself to the bathroom. You closed the door, feeling the quiet sanctuary of solitude envelop you. Memories of you and Conrad flooded your mind, each more painful than its predecessor. Nothing would ever compare to the pain this breakup felt. 

Leaning against the sink, you stared at your reflection in the mirror, tears welling up and blurring your vision. You tried to make them go away by fanning your eyes, but they overflowed, carrying with them the weight of five years of heartache.

How could it still hurt after all this time?

With trembling hands, you reached for a tissue, dabbing at your eyes, but the tears kept coming. ‘’Please, stop.’’ 

In the morning, you woke up on a blow-up mattress in Belly’s room. Your eyes were sensitive from crying and red. You tried to cover it with eye-drops and makeup, but when you came down for breakfast and Belly pulled you in a tight hug, you knew you didn’t do a great job. 

Jeremiah eyed the two of you, raising an eyebrow and silently asking what was up, but Belly shook her head. 

The rest of the day went without any downpour of tears. A part of the afternoon was spent tanning under the sun and drinking lemonades, relishing in the last moments of tranquility before the evening's rehearsal dinner. The place was going to get filled with family members and other guests soon and it’ll get very crowded. 

Steven joined you in Belly’s bedroom as you were getting ready for dinner, still wet from being at the beach with the boys. He tried to get a kiss from Taylor, but she pushed him off as he was dripping water all over her makeup bag. Jeremiah laughed in the doorway, blowing a kiss to Belly before parting to his own bedroom to change. 

Although you weren’t the only single person in the room, you never felt more alone.  

At the dinner, you sat listening to the speeches about Belly and Jeremiah’s love. Without surprise, Steve made sure to embarrass the couple and Laurel was unable to hold back her tears when her turn came. Childhood stories and teenage anecdotes about their early moments of relationship made the guests laugh and smile. 

Everything seemed to be going smoothly until Adam inadvertently attributed a story to Belly and Jeremiah, when in fact it was about you and Conrad. The frown on Jeremiah’s forehead as his father continued to speak matched Belly, both of them not knowing what he was talking about. 

‘’Eh, Dad, Belly didn’t come to my prom…’’ Jeremiah whispered to his father. ‘’I went to hers and she was wearing a purple dress, not green.’’ 

Adam paused, his realization dawning slowly. ‘’Oh. You’re right. That was Conrad. I caught him and his girl making out outside the house when they came back. Susannah was out of her mind for allowing her to sleep over…’’  

The revelation hung in the air, accompanied by an uncomfortable silence. Your grip on the glass of wine tightened involuntarily, the pressure causing it to shatter in your hand. Shards of glass cut into your skin as crimson droplets mixed with the spilled wine. 

Beside you, Taylor gasped in concern, her eyes widening at the sight. ‘’Oh my god, are you—’’ 

Ignoring the sting of pain and Taylor’s voice, you excused yourself and hurried inside to tend to your injury. You grabbed some paper towels and pressed them over your cuts. 

Unbeknownst to you, Conrad followed after you. As you stood there, watching the white soak and turn red, you felt his presence behind you. ‘’Don’t do that.’’ His touch was gentle as he took your hand and removed the soiled paper towels, placing them on the counter. ‘’Never apply pressure to an injury that’s not clean of debris. You’ll push them further in,’’ he advised, the doctor in him speaking. ‘’Let me see.’’ 

‘’I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,’’ you insisted, attempting to brush off his concern. ‘’Go back to everyone else, it’s almost time for the best man’s speech.’’ 

But Conrad didn’t budge. ‘’Sit here. I need to check if there’s glass in it.’’ he urged, his tone firm yet caring. 

Knowing there was no way out of this, you sat on one of the kitchen stools and let Conrad check your injury. He turned on the kitchen tap and you hissed as the water hit your freshly cut skin, the cool liquid soothing the sharp ache. 

You sat there as Conrad tended to your wound in silence, his fingers gentle as he inspected your hand for any embedded glass fragments. You couldn't help but notice the warmth of his touch and the upgraded woodsy cologne, their familiarity causing your heart to flutter despite the pain. 

His focus was entirely on your hand, his brow furrowed in concentration. It reminded you of that one time you fell from your bike and he patched up your knee and elbow. Once he made sure there was no glass in it, he went to fetch an antiseptic and gauze from the bathroom.  

As he was wrapping it up, you thanked him. A simple ‘thanks’. 

‘’Be careful drinking wine, next time.’’ Conrad meant it as a light teasing, but you weren’t in a mood to laugh.

‘’Don’t say anything. Please,’’ you pleaded, your voice barely above a whisper. ‘’It hurts seeing you — it really hurts. So much that I didn’t want to come to the wedding, but I couldn’t miss Belly’s big day. I couldn’t do that to her. What type of friend would I be?’’ The weight of your words hung heavy in the air between you, the truth of them echoing in the silence of the room. ‘’But being here, watching her and Jeremiah getting married is killing me because that should have been us,’’ you continued, your voice trembling with emotion. ‘’This house is where we met; every corner holds tons of memories of us and it’s haunting me, torturing me since I got here.’’

‘’I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry—’’ 

‘’You’re sorry? No sorry will be enough,’’ you said. ‘’You told me I'm the love of your life about a million times. You said you would never leave. But you did. I loved you so much— You were it for me, Conrad. It was always you. But now you’re the loss of my life.’’ 

He said your name, but once again, you didn’t let him speak. 

You got down from the stool, the stinging pain in your hand still present. ‘’I should get back outside. Hopefully Laurel knows a way to get blood out of my dress.’’

—

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[elizaleclerc]

How I love your writing so much! 😭 I saw that you are taking requests / ideas so maybe something of Charles x famous singer reader where they break up and everyone kinda thinks he broke up with reader or it was just a mutual breakup but then reader comes out with a song similar to midnight rain by Taylor swift and ppl piece the pieces together + the lyrics and kinda realize that Charles proposed and reader said no. Just something angsty and with Charles and reader they tried remaining friends but obvi are still in love with reader just isn’t ready for such a commitment. Thank you and love u 😭

tysm for this amazing request xoxo

float in your orbit 🪐

charles leclerc x reader

summary: famous fem singer!reader releases music about her surprising breakup with long term partner charles leclerc

songs: i can do it with a broken heart by t.swift , this is me trying by t.swift , wildflower by b.eilish , champagne problems by t.swift , chloe or sam or sophia or marcus by t.swift :)

author's note: ahhhh my first request!!!! the topic is right up my alley i love love love it. hope u love it too <3 plenty of angst ahead for u x

word count: 2k

With a heavy heart, your fingers traced the same piano note over and over again. The sound was monotonous, a stark contrast to the busy and lively world of your recent world tour. Now, back in your New York City apartment, life seemed dull and uneventful. It was even more glum now that you were alone, with no one to share your thoughts and experiences with.

You sat hunched over the piano, staring at the black and white keys in front of you. Your eyes had a distant glare, as if lost in a deep and melancholic reverie. The city sounds outside seemed muted and far away, as your mind was stuck on pause. Every memory felt like it was on repeat, playing over and over again.

In this moment of isolation, all you could do was sit and reflect on the ups and downs of your career, the highs and lows of fame. The emptiness inside seemed to grow with each passing moment, until it consumed your whole being. You were trapped in a bubble of loneliness, yearning for human connection but unable to break free from the walls surrounding you.

Charles had been your partner for five years. When you were first rising to stardom in the music world, you received an invitation to perform the national anthem at a prestigious Formula One race. As you stood on the track, your heart pounding with nerves and excitement, you caught sight of Charles, one of the esteemed drivers. The connection between you was immediate, a spark of recognition and attraction that lit up the air around you like fireworks. In that moment, you knew that love at first sight wasn't just an empty phrase, but a tangible reality. You could feel it deep within your bones, a warmth spreading through your body that told you this was meant to be.

A deep ache, like a heavy weight, settled in your chest as silent tears fell down your cheek. The emotions swirled and collided inside of you - sadness, hurt, anger, and betrayal all jostling for dominance. Despite both of your chaotic schedules, especially with your tour this year, you had always made sure to prioritize spending time together whenever possible. But during the last month of your tour is when things fell apart.

It was like a sudden storm had swept in, tearing down everything you thought was stable and secure. At first, it was hard to even process what was happening. The shock and confusion were overwhelming, making it difficult to make sense of the situation. But as time passed, the anger and betrayal only grew stronger, raging like a wildfire inside of you. You released a new song two weeks after the split, I Can Do It With a Broken Heart. 

The media went into a frenzy. Fans from both you and Charles speculated on the recent events, but the lyrics in the song were simple and undeniable - Charles had ended things with you. You couldn't help but worry about the hate he must've been receiving, especially since the two of you hadn't spoken since the night everything fell apart. And to add onto the chaos, you still had a tour to finish, forcing a smile and putting on a brave face for the fans that had no idea of the turmoil within.

Being on tour was a necessary distraction, a way to keep your mind off of things. Yet as you lay in yet another unfamiliar hotel room, the same thoughts still haunted you. The rooms all looked different, but they were all characterized by the same sterile and impersonal feeling. The only thing that used to make them feel like home was the sound of Charles' voice on the phone. You would talk for hours, often until you drifted off to sleep, so even though you were physically alone, you never felt truly lonely.

Despite releasing a new single, the public still didn't have the full story of what happened between the two of you, and why you had broken up. With Charles choosing to remain silent in the media, you were left to navigate through it all on your own. It was a daunting task, trying to piece together your relationship and figure out where it went wrong without any input from him. But you refused to let his silence define your story.

Throughout your life, anxiety had been a constant shadow, lurking around every corner and following you wherever you went. It wasn't until a year ago that you finally sought help and medication for it. During this time of struggle, Charles was your unwavering rock, always there to hold you up and support you. Relationships in general were uncharted territory for you when you first met Charles, and the unknown of it all scared you most.

But as the months went by, he became your confidant, someone with whom you could share your deepest worries and fears during those late night conversations. He would listen with patience and understanding, easing your anxieties with his calm presence.

Yet when fate intervened and pushed him away from you, he was not as accommodating as you had hoped. You couldn't blame him entirely, but the void left by his absence consumed you more with each passing day. In an attempt to express all that you felt and lost, you turned to your songs as a means of communication – letting the lyrics speak for your heartache and longing.

In your next release, an EP of four songs would be put out into the world, the lyrics explaining everything. In the week after the release, fans had put all of the pieces of the puzzle together. You spent the hours scouring social media reading the analysis of your relationship, all of it correct but nevertheless heartbreaking. 

~

One particular post analyzed the meaning of the four songs perfectly:

this is me trying: This song is the beginning of the end. Y/N is clearly struggling mentally and is pleading to be understood that they are simply doing the best that they can do. It is a desperate call for affection and is riddled with self doubt. After such a long relationship, Charles could have begun to crack, and Y/N is trying to keep it all together. 

wildflower: This is clearly about Charles’s past girlfriend. He dated her for many years, and was speculated to be one of Y/N’s friends. The lyrics depict her struggling to get past the thought that Charles is actually over his old girlfriend, and she feels terrible about “betraying” her to date Charles. Further in the song the lyrics showcase that Charles clearly loves Y/N, but again her internal battle prohibits her from seeing the truth in their relationship as things seem to break further. 

champagne problems: This is the breaking point. Shocking to fans everywhere, this song reveals that Charles proposed to Y/N, but due to her already detailed mental struggles and anxieties, the commitment was too much for her to bear. The melody and lyrics are filled with regret and a tinge of shame for not being able to commit to Charles, no matter how much she loved him and vice versa. 

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus: The aftermath of it all, she details that even though she cannot commit to marriage with Charles she still loves him deeply and wishes that they could still be together. This caused fans to piece together that after she said no to the proposal, Charles ultimately cut things off.

~

With misty eyes, you read the post that brought back a flood of memories. The night he proposed in Monaco, the city where your love had blossomed and thrived, was etched in your mind with crystal clarity. In your shared apartment, tucked away from the bustling streets, the two of you had a private and intimate dinner that would change your lives forever. Warm flickering candles cast a soft glow over the dining room, while rose petals adorned the table and floor.

Despite being in the comfort of your own home, you both dressed to impress, savoring this rare moment when it was just the two of you. "You look absolutely stunning, mon chéri," he whispered as he gazed at you with adoration, making you feel like the most special woman on Earth. Every detail of that night was ingrained in your heart and soul, a cherished memory that would never fade.

Your hand rested on the white tablecloth, and he gently placed his on top. The warmth of his touch sent a jolt through your body. "Thank you, love," you murmured before he leaned in to place a soft kiss on the back of your hand. As the night went on, you caught up on each other's lives - him excitedly sharing about his latest Formula One race while you reminisced about your past tour experiences. But as the dinner neared its end, you noticed his fidgeting and asked him if he was okay. Suddenly, he stood up from his chair and sunk down on one knee next to you. Your heart skipped a beat, and everything seemed to slow down as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box.

“Mon amour, I don’t want to spend another day without calling you my wife. You’re the most important thing in my life, and I want to spend the rest of it loving you and giving you the world. Will you marry me?” 

Your throat constricted as sweat formed on your palms. The words caught in your throat, refusing to come out. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen - not here, not now. Marriage was never a topic of conversation between you and Charles, but suddenly it felt like an inevitable future staring you in the face at this dinner table. You weren't ready for this.

“I don’t- I can’t-” 

~

Your fingers moved deftly across the ivory keys of your piano, playing the familiar beginning chords of "Champagne Problems." Tears continued to fall down your cheeks, leaving glistening trails in their wake. Memories flooded your mind as you played, memories of a love once strong and unbreakable.

But now, as you sat alone in the dimly lit room, you couldn't help but feel the weight of that love slipping away. You missed him with every fiber of your being. You yearned for his cheeky smile and the way his crystal eyes sparkled when he looked at you. The memory of his messy bed head first thing in the morning made you ache with longing.

The thought of living without him was unbearable. You longed for his laughter, how he would throw his head back and let out a hearty sound that always filled you with joy. You could almost see his nose crinkle in amusement at a bad joke, just as it always did.

And oh, how you missed those moments when he would wear his glasses, simply because he knew how much you loved the way he looked in them. You could picture him now, standing before you with that charming grin and those frames perched on his nose.

But now they were only memories, and you were left to play out this heartache through the melody of your piano.

The realization hit like a freight train, knocking the wind out of you. You couldn't fathom the idea of moving on from this moment, it was too pivotal, too raw. With a sudden surge of energy, you leapt up from your seat at the piano and frantically searched for your phone among the scattered sheet music and empty coffee cups. Your fingers flew over the keys as you dialed the number you knew by heart, each digit a familiar melody in your mind.

One ring, and he picked up.

[goldsainz]

ur writing is so beautiful omg, so i was wondering if you could do lewis x actress!reader? something angsty idk

YOU’RE LOSING ME — one shot.

pairing: lewis hamilton x reader

MASTERLIST.

summary: you have tried your best, but despite your valiant efforts, he just doesn’t see you anymore.

warnings: angst, cursing, a LOT (like a lot) of taylor references.

NOTE: YAY A LEWIS PIECE!!! i love this man so much makes me happy that someone asked me to write for him, so thank youuuuuu 🫶🫶 remember this is all fiction, it’s not meant to be taken literally. also, there won’t be a part 2, so pls don’t ask for one.

[ word count: 2,6k ]

You loved Lewis, and you knew he loved you. It wasn’t a matter of love, it was about showing up and making you feel wanted.

You knew love. You knew it was sweet, and had its sour moments, but it was about resilience and the want to be there for your loved ones. And love shouldn’t feel the way it did, it shouldn’t form a lump in your throat when he kissed you, it shouldn’t want to make you cry, it especially shouldn’t have made you feel lost.

You had spent endless nights sitting in the dark of your shared room, wondering if it was time. Maybe those feelings would go away, you knew Lewis was going through a rough time with Mercedes and his pursuit for an 8th WDC. And you were so, so supportive, but there wasn’t much more you could give. Should you throw out everything you had built together, or keep it? 

There were moments in which you remained silent, keeping each thought you had to yourself just to not ruin your day. You just glared at him, hoping he would realise something was wrong, that maybe you did have things to talk about, but he never did. He just kissed your forehead, and carried on with his day.

You had become accustomed to him coming home late, to the weeks without him. It was a part of his job, and even if you had wanted to accompany him, your job demanded too much of you to do so. 

Lewis was a popular person, and despite being very reserved, he still had many fans and people that admired him all around. His attention was always drawn to others, jumping from conversation to conversation, pausing your chats to greet whomever he recognised. It was exhausting, but you pushed through because he was the love of your life, the one you had been searching for your whole life.

After-parties were the best thing after award shows, it was much more intimate, and you didn't have to worry about unwanted attention. You could let loose for a while, the pressure of always being in front of a camera leaving you as you chatted the night away, drinking every now and then as to numb some of your worries. 

You watch people laughing, having the time of their lives, while you wallow by the bar of your own party. You feel forgettable, but so needed at the same time, people kiss your cheeks and congratulate you for your award winning performance and the achievement you accomplished, and all you do is smile at everyone. You feel like a fraud, acting like you're great when in reality you are screaming on the inside.

“Is Lewis here?” One of your castmates asks you, making you search for him in the crowd.

“Yeah, he’s with his friends.” You say with the best smile you can muster.

“Doesn’t it bother you that he's not with you?” 

“I’m sorry?” The question startles you, tilting your head to the side as the emotion from your face fades.

“I mean, it’s not every day you win a golden globe for best actress, shouldn’t he be with you?” 

“He’s a very busy man, it doesn't bother me, there’s still so much time to celebrate.” You say with a laugh, brushing off the comment.

“Ugh, you’re such couple goals. It makes me jealous, honestly.” 

“Well, it has been six years.” You almost cringe at the bad joke, but fortunately she just laughs. You smile at her, bidding her a good night as you leave to socialise.

The party is at its peak, people are dancing anywhere and everywhere, shoes are discarded around as the dancing gets to them. 

“Y/N, get over here!” Miles, Lewis’ friend, shouts at you.

Walking through a crowd of drunk people is near impossible, it takes a lot of patience but you finally reach your boyfriend and his friends. You instantly sit next to Lewis, his knee brushing yours, but other than that, no further contact happens.

It should worry you, it does, but you’ve learnt to not question his attitude. You don’t want to start a fight on your special night, not with all of the people around you, not when he’s finally somewhere with you.

“Hi, guys.” You say, smiling at everyone.

“We wanted to see you, you’ve been everywhere all night!” The comment almost makes you scoff, you’ve looked for Lewis and he is always somewhere else, something always calls his attention when you reach him

“You know how it is.” His friends all laugh at the comment, but he just looks at you with a little smile. 

“Well, now that you’re here, the group is complete.”

“It’s always nice to see all of you, thank you for coming, by the way.”

“As if we would ever miss this!” Another of his friends says, motioning to the place with his hands.

You try to intertwine your fingers to your boyfriend’s, initiating any sort of contact to try and mend his poor behaviour in front of his friends. They’re all too drunk to notice the awkwardness, but you feel it, it has been suffocating you for months.

“I’m glad you’re having fun then.” 

The conversation flows nicely enough. It serves as a distraction from the indifference Lewis gives you. You’re the best at the party, you’re the reason the party is even happening, and yet you still fade in the background of his thoughts. 

“So, how long are you here in London for?” Riley, one of his friend’s girlfriends, asks you, a drink in her hand. 

“I’m leaving on wednesday, but I’m probably gonna be back in England for the Grand Prix.” You look at Lewis, who turns to you at the same time.

“That’s great! I could neer travel as much as you guys do.”

“It’s part of the job, but we make it work.” You wait for Lewis to support your statement, but he just looks away.

“When you get married, I need to be there. Your love story is one for the books, girl.” The mention of marriage makes you smile, it’s the one thing you’ve wanted with Lewis since you met him. It’s also the first thing that truly made you smile since you sat down with the group of friends. 

Your eyes look down at your bare finger, rubbing the spot where an engagement ring could be if Lewis ever asked you the big question. 

“We’re not in a rush to get married.” Is what Lewis says to her. It’s the first time he’s spoken with you included in a conversation, and all you can do is keep smiling. You push away the pain, the knot that forms in your throat almost makes you break. 

“We have a lot on our plates, you know? But I’ll make sure you're on the guest list when the time comes.” If Riley sensed anything off, her face is not anything to go by. You excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, hoping to get a way for even a second. And just like that, you desperately want the night to be over.

Arriving at your shared home is nothing short of uncomfortable. The silence while your chauffeur drove you both home made your eyes gloss over, you didn’t know how much longer you would be able to keep your tears at bay, but you needed to be strong.

You throw your shoes by the doorway, eager to go to sleep and forget the fact that Lewis indirectly said he didn’t want to get married to you. You’ve been together for six years, he knows you would love to get married, that if he asked you would say yes. It's him who repels the idea, though he once said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, he now is in no rush to truly settle down with you.

It makes you spiral. Maybe it’s you who makes it difficult to get married, you know you're not the easiest person in the world, but Lewis isn’t either, but you never fault him for it. He says he doesn't understand many things you do, and you tell him you know he doesn't. You’re dying inside with all of the things unsaid between you, and he doesn't see it. 

You need him to say something, to do anything to show that he still cares. And as you watch him do his skincare routine, something you used to do together as he taught you how to take care of yourself better, you can’t seem to shake the feeling creeping up on you. That this won't go away, you’re not going through a rough patch, there isn’t a cure to your situation. You just need to let go.

“Lewis?” You call out, sitting on your bed as you prepare for whatever may happen. He hums in response, too caught up on his stuff.

“Can you come here when you’re done, please?” 

“Sure.”

When he finishes up in the bathroom, he goes to lay down on the bed. You watch him, how he doesn't seem bothered by the indecision surrounding the room, how grey you have become in all of your overthinking. 

“We’re okay, right?” It’s as if time stops. Lewis, who was calmly laying on the bed, has now frozen on his spot. You search his face in hopes to know what he’s thinking, but you can’t. You don’t know him like you used to, the person you hoped would never become a stranger, was now nearing that.

You don’t know if it's his long pause of silence that confirms what you already knew, but hoped wasn't true, or if it’s the fact that you can’t believe you hoped for any type of response.

“I need to know if we’re okay, Lewis.” You turn your whole body to look at him, silently begging him to say something.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Y/N.” He drags his hands over his face, like the conversation is an annoyance to him , something he can't even consider entertaining. It makes the first tear fall down your face, watching the man you love be so dismissive. 

“Anything, literally anything, Lewis.”

“We just had a great night, Y/N. Let’s not ruin it and talk about this some other time, alright? I’m very tired, I have a very busy week ahead, and would like to rest a little.”

It’s a poor excuse, you both know it, it’s written all over his face. You consider letting it go, apologising as you have before, but something about his dismissal makes you angry. It’s the final straw, the last time you will take the blame for trying to fix your relationship, for trying to understand.

“Is that why you won’t marry me?” Your voice breaks in between your words, the raw emotion covering your eyes as you watch him close his eyes in frustration.

“What the fuck are you even talking about right now?”

You scoff at his words, “You said we’re not in a rush to get married.”

“Because we’re not. It’s not a good time, Y/N, and you know it.” His voice is cold, making you wince.

“For you! There’s never a good enough time with you, there’s always something more important.” 

“Oh, come on, don’t put this on me.” He stands up from where he is, making his way to the kitchen. You don’t hesitate to follow him, not ready to give up on your conversation.

“I want to settle down, Lewis, we’ve talked about this a thousand times.” You wipe your tears away, trying to compose yourself. “You know that if you ask me I would say yes. Do you even know how embarrassing it is to have everyone ask me when I’m gonna be your bride? All of our friends are getting married, so they practically hand me the bouquet now, and each time you act like nothing happened.”

He pours himself a glass of water, not looking at you, ignoring your presence as if he hopes his indifference will make you go away. 

“I love you, why isn't that enough?” 

“Do you?” He glances at you, and you finally see the look in his eyes. He doesn't want to fight you, he doesn't want to fight for your relationship. Despite all of the times he acted oblivious, he knew you were reaching a breaking point, he knew you were beating yourself over the impending doom of your relationship, and he said nothing.

You know your pain is an imposition. You know he tolerates it, and you don't question it. You just make your peace with it, even if it means to lie to yourself. There is no doubt in your mind that he loves you, but you don't think he loves you enough, not as he once did, anyway.

“So that's it? Our relationship gets hard and you want to leave?”

“That’s not at all what I said.”

“Well, it’s what you’re implying.” 

“I just want you to talk to me, to fight for us. That’s all I want.” You rest your elbows on the kitchen counter, placing your head on the palms of your hands, feeling tears soak them.

Lewis shakes his head, leaving the kitchen. You don’t know where he is going, you don’t make an effort to follow him this time. He’s losing you, and he isn't stopping his life to make you stay or even watch you go. 

You want him to choose you, you’re right there with him for all of his fights, always on the front line. You never hesitate to bleed for him, yet he does not risk anything. It seems unfathomable that the man you hoped to never lose, actually lost you. It seemed like so long ago when you believed forever was the direction your relationship would take, he changed and you unfortunately stayed the same.

You hear his footsteps near you, but you don’t lift your head to look at him. Not when you know that if you do you’ll truly break, you’ll have to say goodbye to years of memories, you’ll have to walk away once and for all.

You’re shocked when you feel him wrap his arms around your waist, his chest pressed against your back. You don’t tense at the touch, you would never, there isn't an ounce of you that doesn't crave all of the contact lost between you. It’s all you've wanted lately, yet it doesn't change a thing. He walked out a long time ago, and now you have to do the same.

“This won’t work, Lewis.” 

“I know.”

“I gave it my all, you know?” You whisper, and you feel him press a kiss to the side of your neck, but there are no longer butterflies when he does so, just a broken heart that won't start for him anymore. Your heart was glass, and he dropped it. 

“I know you did.” He whispers back.

You want to ask him, if he wished he would’ve put up more of a fight, but you don't think you could deal with the silence after. You know it’s not you, that it’s him, that despite all your faults loving him was never one.

And you’ll try to forget about it. Try to pretend you will find someone who will be equal to Lewis, but you’ll remain right where he left you. And you won’t talk about it, just act like it’s for the best. But it would’ve been fun if he would've been the one.

[bananaofswifts]

Taylor Swift is giving fans more insight into her new album “The Tortured Poets Department,” thanks to a track-by-track experience with Amazon Music.

Fans can now listen to the album — which shattered streaming records after its release on April 19 — along with commentary from Swift breaking down the meaning of each track. To listen to “The Tortured Poets Department” with Swift’s commentary, fans can simply say to Alexa, “I’m a member of ‘The Tortured Poets Department.'”

Through the experience, Swift has revealed the inspiration behind songs including “Fortnight” with Post Malone, “Clara Bow,” “Florida!!!” with Florence + the Machine, “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?” and “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys.”

“‘Fortnight’ is a song that exhibits a lot of the common themes that run throughout this album. One of which being fatalism — longing, pining away, lost dreams,” Swift said of the album’s opening song. “I think that it’s a very fatalistic album in that there are lots of very dramatic lines about life or death. ‘I love you, it’s ruining my life.’ These are very hyperbolic, dramatic things to say. It’s that kind of album.”

Of “Clara Bow,” named after the silent film actress, Swift said the track is “a commentary on what I’ve seen in the industry that I’ve been in over time.”

“I used to sit in record labels trying to get a record deal when I was a little kid. And they’d say, ‘you know, you remind us of’ and then they’d name an artist, and then they’d kind of say something disparaging about her, ‘but you’re this, you’re so much better in this way or that way.’ And that’s how we teach women to see themselves, as like you could be the new replacement for this woman who’s done something great before you,” she said. “I picked women who have done great things in the past and have been these architypes of greatness in the entertainment industry. Clara Bow was the first ‘it girl.’ Stevie Nicks is an icon and an incredible example for anyone who wants to write songs and make music.”

“Florida!!!” featuring Florence + the Machine is one of the rare songs on the album that doesn’t see Swift directly speaking of a former lover. Swift said the inspiration for this track actually came from “always watching ‘Dateline.'”

“People have these crimes that they commit; where do they immediately skip town and go to? They go to Florida,” the singer added. “They try to reinvent themselves, have a new identity, blend in. I think when you go through a heartbreak, there’s a part of you that thinks, ‘I want a new name. I want a new life. I don’t want anyone to know where I’ve been or know me at all.’ And so that was the jumping off point. Where would you go to reinvent yourself and blend in? Florida!”

As for “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me,” Swift revealed that she wrote the tune “alone, sitting at the piano in one of those moments when I felt bitter about just all the things we do to our artists as a society and as a culture.”

“There’s a lot about this particular concept on ‘The Tortured Poets Department,'” she added. “What do we do to our writers, and our artists, and our creatives? We put them through hell. We watch what they create, then we judge it. We love to watch artists in pain, often to the point where I think sometimes as a society we provoke that pain and we just watch what happens.”

Lastly, Swift broke down the metaphor within “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys.”

The song is about “being somebody’s favorite toy until they break you and then don’t want to play with you anymore,” she said. “Which is how a lot of us are in relationships where we are so valued by a person in the beginning, and then all of the sudden, they break us or they devalue us in their mind. We’re still clinging on to ‘No no, no. You should’ve seen them the first time they saw me. They’ll come back to that. They’ll get back to that.’”

[seeingivy]

speak now! 

satoru gojo x f! reader

in which you stop your best friend, satoru gojo, from marrying someone else - after realizing you had feelings for him while he’s standing at the altar

**part of my satoru as taylor swift songs series

- 

as the party roared on inside, you found yourself with gojo, lying face up on the patio, staring up at the starry sky. your stomach was settling, still feeling slightly buzzed from the beer pong you played a few hours ago. as fun as geto’s parties were, you both found yourself needing a breather after having too much to drink. 

shoulder to shoulder, you could feel your heart thundering in your chest, your face warm. satoru’s fingers were tangled with yours, his cold fingers intertwined with your warm ones. 

“hey, marry me?” 

“shut up, you pervert” 

as you guys finished up your masters degrees, the pressure was rising on gojo to take over his father’s company. you couldn’t imagine this buffoon you had been best friends with since the start of undergrad really being responsible for anything important, let alone an entire technological empire. the two of you very recently found out that an addendum to taking over the company was marrying someone else in the industry, so as to maximize the profits that could come from a business deal like that. 

“we would make sexy babies.” he said, squeezing your hand hand in his, his eyes boring into yours. 

“objection. I could have sexy babies with anyone, gojo. plus, my empire of organic chemistry exams to grade will most definitely take your company to the next level.” you said, removing your hand from his. 

he’s quiet. you felt you went too far. while you and gojo had been friends for years now, his family showed a clear distaste for you and your line of work. you knew it wasn’t personal, since they weren’t big fans of geto either. plus, convincing gojo to raise megumi with you halfway through undergrad left a sour taste in their mouth. and geto was reckless in more ways than one, so you couldn’t really blame them. 

“do you think you’ll really do it, gojo?” you whispered. 

“maybe. but trust me, i’ll be thinking of you the entire time mama.” he says, winking at you. 

never serious. you punch him in the shoulder, rolling your eyes at his words. he blows you a kiss in response. 

“you really are a pervert.” 

“you have to barge in and stop the wedding, you know. confess your undying love for me” 

“for sure, gojo. it’ll be a big dramatic moment, tears flowing, full cheese and everything. about how it’s you and it’s always been you.” 

the two of you stare at each other before you burst out laughing into the night, your hands intertwining once again. you smiled over at him, silently wishing the two of you would be hand in hand, friends forever. 

“then we’ll get to work on those babies that night.” 

you slap him straight across the face. 

- 

your feet were glued to the floor, fighting down the bile that was rising in your throat. 

“welcome to the wedding of satoru gojo and hina soma!”

  shoko walked up and laced her fingers through yours, with geto, nanami, and megumi slowly trailing behind you. her hand in yours and the presence of your three greatest friends would hopefully prove to be enough to get you through this wedding. 

at some point, though you’re not sure when, his cheesy pick up lines started to make your heart race. his willingness to come to your aid, to pick you back up when you were down, to back you when you needed him all added up to a hopeless, disgusting, big crush on him. you were sure if you could have the chance, you would love him, the real way. how you ended up in this mess, at his wedding to another girl, was lost to you entirely. he slipped away so fast. 

as the five of you headed towards the open bar, shoko, nanami, and geto greeted hina’s family, having met them at the rehearsal dinner in shoko’s backyard the night before. notably, you and megumi were not invited to the affair. in all honesty, you were shocked hina had even let the two of you come to the wedding. she shared gojo’s parents distaste for the unusual situation you and gojo had with megumi. 

you reached down to fix megumi’s tie, still horribly made from earlier. gojo was always better at this than you. as they all exchanged pleasantries. you tried to swallow the lump forming in your throat. he’s just getting married. keep it together.  

he promised he would still come around, promised you and megumi will always be his family. you, nanami, geto, and shoko would still be the people most important to him. that’s all that mattered. you held onto the thought, as you settled into the pews with megumi. 

megumi slides his hand in yours, effectively stopping the shaking in your hands. as more and more people moved to the pews, you could tell the wedding was about to start. you cursed gojo for picking shoko, nanami, and geto as part of his wedding party, wishing they were here to hold you down through the vows. 

gojo saunters in, looking nothing short of the perfect. his normally messy hair is styled, not a platinum hair out of place. his brilliant blue eyes were on display for once, with no sunglasses or bandana in sight. he feigned a serious look, nodding in acknowledgement to yaga, who was officiating the ceremony. as he takes his stance at the altar, the two of you make eye contact. 

you and megumi shoot him a smile, the two of you discreetly waving at him. he waves back, sticking his tongue out at megumi. megumi rolls his eyes in response, clearly annoyed by gojo’s unseriousness. as he turns to look at you, he shoots you a glittering smile, accompanied by a wink. 

“he has no shame. flirting with another woman at his literal wedding.” said megumi, fidgeting with his collar and slumping into his seat. 

you ignore the pounding in your chest, silently cursing the ache in your heart, trying to ignore the fact that this is the moment you’re letting him go. letting him get away. the music started up again, with hina flowing down the aisle, accompanied by her father. she looked beautiful, her fifty foot beaded train following behind her. as she joined gojo at the altar, he looked at her in acknowledgment, the gleaming smile from earlier absent. 

as yaga starts the ceremony, you can’t help but ruminate over the wink. of course gojo winked at you. in the most infuriating, gut-wrenching way, you loved it. it was so…gojo. of course he would do something stupid like that. 

you love him. you love satoru gojo and he’s marrying someone else. you fight the tears rising to your eyes, as yaga starts the ceremony. you feel megumi squeezing your hand, trying to ground you in the situation. 

how could you let this happen? when did it get this far? it was only yesterday you guys were drunk on a patio, giggling with your hands interlocked. could you still stop this? 

at that moment, yaga’s voice rose over the hall, the words ringing in your ears. 

“if you think this couple should not be joined together, for whatever reason, speak now or forever hold your peace.” 

speak now. speak now or forever hold your peace.

forever

. 

speak now, y/n! 

you stand up, your hands shaking at your sides. the side of your face was still wet, the tears from earlier sticking to your face. you feel necks craning back to glance at you, horrified looks plastered on their faces. 

your eyes meet gojo’s, his blue eyes boring into yours as his hands disconnecting from hina’s to face you. you find your voice, fighting the shakiness overtaking your entire body. 

“i’m not the type of girl who…does this. i don’t usually barge in on white veil occasions. but you..” 

you look at gojo, the look on his face searching for something on yours. the moment on the patio flashes back, his words echoing back to you. 

“aren’t the type of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl.” 

you hear a commotion, people whispering and talking in their chairs. hina looks positively upset, her bridesmaids ready to kill. you look over, geto, nanami, and shoko who nod at you to go on.

“please don’t say yes. don’t say a single vow. i

love

you satoru.” you said, the tears streaming down your face, messing up the perfectly placed eyeliner shoko had done hours before. 

an outrage. people whispers turned into loud rage. gojo’s parents looked furious, rising up from their chairs to speak to him. 

“if you ever cared about me, in that way, then meet me. back door, satoru. I’ll be waiting.” 

and with that, you storm out. 

- 

you sit on the roof, with your silver heels placed next to you. shoko’s backyard was decorated, the tables from the rehearsal dinner still in place from the night before. 

shortly after your big outburst, shoko and geto came out, with megumi in tow, saying the four of you should probably leave before people came to find you. he didn’t come. he wasn’t going to come. 

the four of you left in her car, megumi’s hand curled in yours as you silently cried the entire way home. 

weirdly enough now, looking at the sky gave you peace. you laid back, staring up at the sky, and ruminated on the moment. you spoke your truth, with the stars bearing witness, but to no avail. but now you can move forward. satoru gojo, who’s plagued your mind and your heart for the past six years, can finally be left behind. you close your eyes, banishing the thought of him from your mind. 

you dig your fingertips into your temples, trying to banish the headache left behind after you drained yourself of all your tears. you hear small footsteps on the roof, annoyed at the presence all together. 

“leave, shoko.” 

you shut your eyes closed. you can’t talk about this. not yet at least. 

“hey, marry me?” 

cold fingers intertwined with your warm ones. you turn over to see gojo, shocked at his appearance. his hair is unruly, his left cheek pink. he’s still in his wedding suit, but his tie is missing. you stare, unsure if your mind is playing tricks on you. 

you grab the side of his face, examining the pink mark on his cheek. you run your fingertips along the side and he winces at the contact.

“what happened, toru?” 

“hina..slapped me.” 

“oh, sorry.” you say, turning to face the left so he couldn’t see your cheeks burning with embarrassment. 

“not your fault. you weren’t the one who said you wouldn’t marry her.” 

you turn back, staring at his eyes. the gleaming smile from earlier has returned. he wouldn’t marry her. he didn’t marry her. he’s here, sitting next to you, and he didn’t marry her. 

“can i ask you a question, y/n?” 

you nod in response, your heart finding its way to your throat. 

“marry me?” 

you laugh, the tears springing straight to your eyes. you reach for his arms, burying yourself into the crook of his neck. the tears flow straight onto the collar of his shirt, your mascara smearing the crisp white collar. he laughs in response, running his hands through your hair. 

“y/n, they’re waiting.” he said, running his hand nervously on the back of his neck. 

he points at the backyard and you look down to find shoko, nanami, megumi, and geto smiling up at the two of you. nanami stands at the center of the flower set up, with megumi and geto on his left and right. shoko stands near the front of the backyard, a tiny makeshift bouquet she verly clearly pulled from the neighbors yard in her hands. 

you turn to satoru, his blue eyes staring into yours. you nod, a response to his earlier question and you follow him down to the yard. as he makes his way down the makeshift aisle, you link arms with shoko as she runs her fingers under your eyes. 

“you look like a racoon. why did you even wear mascara to that wedidng in the first place?”

she rolls her eyes and tears return once again. your feel your heart bursting with joy, unable to contain what was about to happen.. shoko curses your dramatics and walks you down her patchy backyard. 

as you reach the front of the altar (shoko’s grumpy neighbor’s fence), satoru reaches out, his fingers reaching for yours. as you look over, he looks better than before. his messy hair, sunglasses perched at the end of his nose - he looked nothing short of perfect. 

“we’re going to make sexy babies right after this” he whispers. 

nanami, shoko, geto, and megumi all groan at his vulgar words. as they all settle down, nanami starts the ceremony. 

“do you, satoru gojo, take f/n l/n to be your lawfully wedded wife?” said nanami

“there’s no way this can be counted as lawful.” 

satoru rolls his eyes, shooting a joking glare at geto. he turns back to you, squeezing your hands three times. 

“i do.” 

“and do you, f/n l/n take satoru gojo to be your lawfully wedded husband?” 

you gleam at him, squeezing his hands three times back. 

“i do.” 

gojo looks around, in confusion. he releases your hands and pats the pockets of his pants and shirt, looking for something. 

“um, was anyone able to find any rings?” said gojo, looking around. 

megumi looks up, two twisted berry blast ring pops in his fist. the two of you laugh, bending down to take the ring pops from him. you both plant a kiss on his cheek, much to his dismay. 

“perfect, gumi.” said gojo, unwrapping his ring. 

the two of you slide the ring pops on each other's ring fingers, sharing a kiss to seal your everlasting marriage. shoko and namami popped handheld streamers into the air, covering you and gojo in confetti. that was immediately followed by geto throwing a handful of rice at the two of you, convincing megumi to do it with him. he was not amused. 

as the four of them joined in on your hug, you felt yourself being squished into gojo, feeling his heart thumping in his chest. as they all separated, running inside to get the cake, you looked up at him, still clutched in his arms against his chest. 

“overcome with your undying love for me, mrs. gojo?” he said, smirking down at you. 

you roll your eyes, sticking your fingers into the side of his cheek.

“only because you were thinking of me the entire time” you whispered. 

the two of you laughed, your foreheads resting against each other. he leaned forward, his soft lips pressing against yours. your husband, lover, partner, from here on out. 

- 

the satoru as taylor swift songs series masterlist

[ferrstappen]

Taylor Swift l The Collection

this is the masterlist for a series of one shots, scenarios that have come up while listening to different Taylor Swifts albums, with different drivers from the grid <3

Back to December l Charles Leclerc

and I think about summer, all the beautiful times, I watched you laughing from the passenger side.

summary: she cursed herself every day for being scared of falling for him, because he wasn't afraid of loving her.

You Belong With Me l George Russell

if you could see that I'm the one who understands you, been here all along, so why can't you see? You belong with me.

summary: she had the worst luck because her best friend was a serial dater, but she knows him better than any of his girlfriends, and she needs him to know.

august l Lando Norris

wanting was enough, for me it was enough.

summary: every single one of her friends warned her that he was fresh out of a relationship. his friends whispered that he had been so in love just a couple of weeks ago and now he was holding hands with someone else. but she didn't care.

Enchanted l Lance Stroll

this night is sparkling, don't you let it go. I'm wonderstruck blushing all the way home

summary: forced small talk, tiny pieces of fancy finger food, and long flutes of champagne, but after they saw each other... small talk became a little bigger, laughter falling a bit more freely.

Ours l Max Verstappen

so don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine.

summary: he was always in the eye of the hurricane; some days because of his talents, others because of his character, but it didn't matter when he got home and walked holding her hand.

Girl At Home l Daniel Ricciardo

don't look at me, you got a girl at home and everybody knows that.

summary: she knew he had someone back in Australia waiting for him. but she was so far away, and he needed to be comforted, now.

Begin Again l Pierre Gasly

he didn't like it when I wore high heels, but I do.

summary: she was used to the bare minimum, maybe even a little less than that. and then he came in, waiting for her to order first during their first date.

Long Live l Esteban Ocon

of all the years that we stood there on the sidelines, wishing for right now.

summary: Esteban Ocon (aka the biggest Spiderman fan, according to himself) tried to bribe his girlfriend, gave her the silent treatment, he called her out during race weekends, but Marvel was just too good keeping their secrets. (actress!reader)

False God l Carlos Sainz Jr.

but we might just get away with it.

summary: it was just the third race of the calendar when he walked inside her hotel room, telling her that they could try it... and HR would never know.

Speak Now l Max Verstappen

fond gestures are exchanged, and the organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death march.

summary: His mind was spinning. Get up, sit down! Speak up, shut up! You already lost her, you broke up with her! Nobody would've guessed everything that was going on inside Max's head as he watched her put on her white dress.

Sparks Fly l Charles Leclerc

give me something that will haunt me when you're not around

summary: she liked telling people that she was done with love, but shit... his green eyes made her want to jump into his arms and love him to the best of her ability.

Happiness l Charles Leclerc

there'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you.

summary: they were going to be fine, relationships come to an end eventually... but he was focused on his job, and she was watching him through the screen.

illicit affairs l Carlos Sainz Jr.

and you know damn well, for you I'd ruin myself.

summary: it wasn't fair that he made her fall in love with him, not when he took her heart for granted and his heart started beating for some other girl.

[moonshine-82]

Max Verstappen x Female driver reader

Warnings - angst, j*s verstappen (ewww i know but he’s too good for angst), swearing, also my first ever fic so woo.

Info - ~ writing ~ means flash back. Also sort of based on lyrics from Taylor swifts out of the woods

Summary - you and max have always raced against each other, but now you are both teammates together at red bull. Untold feelings remain however will they be exposed before the pressure get too much

As you trudge away from the wreckage and through the gravel, you can’t help be look back.

~ Max Verstappen was the one name you would always be able to pick out from childhood. As a girl in karting you faced a lot of obstacles; mostly boys and their fathers telling you you weren’t good enough. Max wasn’t one of them. Surprisingly his father wasn’t either, well not outwardly at least. No the year older Dutch boy always treated you the same as everyone else. It did mean he acted like a spoiled little brat who wouldn’t take anything less than a win but that was what everybody got.

This lack of sexism continued as you progressed through the ranks together. As such a friendship began to bloom. Both of you had your difficulties and critics, one the patriarchy and the other their own father, which helped a bond form. You would regularly be seen talking shop before the race and guiding each other through the emotions after. It was a rare occasion that your pair were spotted apart. In that time, Max learnt just how harsh the world was to a girl in motorsport, that no amount of victories will be enough. You learnt that Verstappen’s sore loser nature came from his father, more specifically the way he treated him.

As you grew up together the connection only got stronger, heading up to the higher levels didn’t change that…~

“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINK”

A now painfully familiar voice snapped you out of your day dreaming. Looking up, the only thing in view was the furious stature of your teammate marching towards you. Not the crash of the two highly expensive red bull cars. Not the marshals trying to get you over the barrier. Not even the stand of fans all rendered silent by the events. No, all that you eyes were willing to see was your childhood best friend and love of your life (though you had never expressed that) on a murder path.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING, WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING”

Your comment only seemed to make Max even angrier. The second it happened you knew the crash was your fault, but you couldn’t just let him shout at you at by way. As he stalked closer and closer, your original strength vanished. So much so your heart began yo face. You knew Max was capable of a destructive rampage. It was something that you had to witness numerous times. The only difference is that you were never the destination before. Not to say he was never annoyed by you, and especially with the rising tension this season, but never like this. It forced the little girl deep inside of you to be reminded of someone else. A memory that you wished to forget came flooding in.

~ You were staying at Max’s house for what you didn’t know would be the last time. As the two of you sat in his room talking of your latest double podium, a shatter of glass was heard. The second it did you saw the young boys face fall. It wasn’t until the screams were heard you understood why.

The overbearing words of an enraged man echoed though the house. As you looked over at Max, it only confirmed what you suspected. Even at such a much younger age you knew his father wasn’t the nicest man, however this was the first time you saw his true side. As the curiosity got the better of you, you opened Max’s door to go look at the damage. Any attempt he made to stop you were useless as you sat on the stairs staring into the kitchen.

The look on Jos Verstappen’s face was one that you would never forget. It was the look of a crazed, mad man who was willing to kill the next person that dared to even breath next to him.

As you turned to Max, he was meet with your face in tears. The sight hurt more than any words or actions Jos could ever use. He comforted you, took you back to his room and listened as you shook in fear of his father. In that moment Max held your face, looked you dead in the eyes and promised to you and himself that he would never become the monster that scares the girl he cared for the most. ~

As Max finally towered in front of you, he was shook at what he found. Up until now, you would always stand you ground in an argument. Not even recently when it had began to apply pressure to your friendship had you backed down. However he didn’t see the strong women he had grown to love, but instead a weaker shadow of you in tears. To add to the pitiful scene you stood with your arms up in a form of protection.

Max’s original anger at the race ending collision was all but there. His championship dominating attitude faded and all that was left was regret. It didn’t take long for him to put two and two together, and figure out that you state was due to his behaviour. The only time he had seen you like that before was your last ever sleepover. He also couldn’t ignore how much you had brought up the comparison between the father and son in arguments lately. This all however, was long enough for you to turn and run over to the marshals.

Red bulls number one driver was left by what maybe the resting place of his one true friendship. The very scene that you had just escaped. It had all gotten too much. This was the final straw. Much as Spain was labelled the death of Hamilton and Rosberg’s seemingly ever lasting connection, this would be yours and Max’s. Formula 1 had told the world that no compassion survives between rival teammates before, and it was trying to remind it once again.

The walk to the garage was the longest of your carrier. It wasn’t just because of the looming wrath of Christian Horner but overwhelming more due to that which loomed behind you. Max’s constant presence only made the whole situation worse. He was the years of memories that were still trying to cling on desperately. The dread that it had all gotten too much, and things between the two bulls would never be the same. The crushing wait of a heart beginning to crack at what it had been waiting for for over a decade fading out of view.

Finally getting back to the garage, the next hours flashed by. Your mind was too stimulated with stress and anxiety to process any going on. The one thing that got through was the repeating phrase…

“This is it”

Every warning was right. There was no way that you could beat fate. In the history of the world, no friendship has survived the pressure of true competition. Why did you think you would defeat it? Looking back at the day you two agreed to be teammates, you realise just how naive you were. No not naive, you were foolish and arrogant and stupid. You thought you could win a game against destiny, and now you would face the consequences. It was all o…

“Hey, it’s me, can I come in?”

There it is once again that painfully familiar voice broke your train of thought.

“Yeah sure”

In all honestly you don’t know why you say yes, he is the last person you wish to see right now. The reaction must have been a force of habit. As Max enters the medically room, you are both hit with the true weight of it all. He looks down at your stomach, whose scars from the twenty stitches you had had years a ago were visible. They were from a fishing accident, on a fishing trip the two of you went on. Max’s eyes softened looking at them, the memory coming back like one in the million others in the last feed hours. As you both looked up it was obvious you had both been crying.

This shocked you entirely yet not at all. The world’s young champion Verstappen wasn’t one for crying, and he was the one that you had hit the breaks on too soon causing all this mess. However, you knew that your maxie was a big crier. He cares so much about so much, but has the idiotic tendency to bottle it all up till it got too much and explodes.

That’s exactly what the both of you had done and you both know it. Neither wants to admit that the stress of the rivalry was becoming too much however. Admitting would be admitting you were losing, and the one thing your friendship was built on was not being allowed to lose. The consequence of this silence was hostility. Both of you had become more argumentative. It started small, slowly growing to a seeming hatred that all boiled over in todays race. Now both of you are placed in the medical room, red eyes not wanting to say the first words.

The question of wether you would fight past this and back to the childhoods friends, possibly more or if it truly was the end. You’re hearts are simultaneously asking, are we out of the woods yet?

Woooooo, well that was painful. Sorry not sorry. If you have read this I would appreciate it greatly if you would like and please do comment with feed back. Especially if you would like a prequel or sequel to this. Once again this was my first ever fic so probably wasn’t fantastic but I definitely enjoyed it. Thanks for reading !!! Please don’t copy this, not even with credit. Also no translations. Do feel free to reblog.

[overtrred28]

Stargirl | matildas x original character fic [part twenty]

Words; 2.5k

Pairings; matildas team x astrid taylor (OC)

A/N; Hey, sorry this took me so long to update. Had a bit of writers block after the last chapter and I have been so exhausted from work all the time I haven't wanted to write, bit I just smashed this out in like 6 hours so I'm happy with myself. I think I've come out of the slump so updates should come more regularly now (hopefully). But I hope you enjoy. :)

masterlist

The next two weeks were a bit of a bit of a blur to Astrid. Everything happened so quickly and she wasn’t sure she was processing any of it.

The night of the accident she stayed at camp with the girls as she waited for a car to take her home the next morning. She went back into a state of shock after she told the girls, immediately making them concerned with her lack of emotion but unsure of how to help her. The morning she left, an announcement was made on the Matildas socials to let everyone know Astrid was leaving camp early for personal reasons and that was that, she was gone from camp. 

While she was being driven home her phone was blowing up with messages and comments of concern by friends and fans but she couldn’t look at them, deleting her apps all together and turning away from her phone as she watched the sights of Sydney pass by and enter the central coast. 

4 days later, the Cup of Nations ended with a win to Australia which the girls celebrated but couldn’t help feeling like a big part of their team was missing, because it was. The other three counterparts of the Sweden squad were missing their youngest member the most, sending her texts of love and support but nothing had yet to be reciprocated. 

Astrid spent quite a few weeks back home, staying with her grandparents as she couldn’t bear living in her home without them there. The funeral was small but beautiful, close family and friends coming to pay their respects as Astrid stood beside their photos and watched the event pass by. She was breaking down inside everyday, staying frozen on the outside, unable to process what was really going on and shutting herself off from it all. She laid in bed for most of the day, her grandparents bringing her food and checking on her but she didn’t seem to move much in the hours they left her alone in between.

Kyra returned to their shared Swedish apartment in time to get back to training after the international window, but what didn’t return was the childish nature she always had when Astrid was around, she was almost silent. 

Of course the club was more than understanding of Astrid’s situation, telling her to take her time and return when she was ready, but didn’t expect to see her for quite a while. Neither did Kyra. 

So when Kyra heard the lock jiggle on the front door the night after her first game back, her immediate thought was that someone was trying to break in, jumping off the couch and reaching for something to protect herself with. She stood with a floor lamp in her hands, looking down the hallway as she watched the door swing open. The lamp was placed down as a familiar head of hair was turned down to

Astrid dragged her bags through the door, still unaware that Kyra was standing in the hallway until she closed the door and turned around. Her eyes locked with Kyra’s and she felt a weight lifted off her chest. Silently she dropped her bags and began walking down the hallway, making her way to Kyra and practically jumping onto her with a deep inhale. 

They held one another tightly, Kyra slightly lifting Astrid off the floor as she tucked her face into her neck, holding on and never wanting to let go. And for the first time since they parted, Astrid let out the tears she had been holding onto back home as she leant into Kyra. 

“Hi.” Astrid let out into Kyra’s neck, taking a sharp inhale, tears running down her face. 

“Hi.” Kyra let out a breath, squeezing her tighter in the hallway. Astrid began to let go, lowering herself down to the ground and pulling away so she could look at Kyra. “What are you doing here?” Kyra moved her hands to wipe Astrid’s tears. 

“Coming back to reality.” She shook her head, hands moving to Kyra’s waist as they stood in the hallway. 

“No one expects you to, star. You can take as much time off as you need-”

“Kyra, stop.” Astrid cut her off. “I want to come back here, to training, to regular life.” She sighed. “To you.” Kyra tries to hide a smile at the last words but fails miserably. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you. I’m not me without you.” Kyra speaks and Astrid snorts as she giggles.

“That was so lame, oh my god.” Astrid leans forward, placing their foreheads together as she lets her chuckle fade out. “I need you to trust that I’m ready to come back. Because I am.” She closed her eyes and felt Kyra nod underneath her. 

“I trust you.” Kyra closed her eyes too, sighing deeply before nudging her face closer, bringing her lips to Astrids, a soft and gentle kiss to bring them back together. “Let’s get back to our normal routine then.” Kyra smiled before dragging her to the couch and pulling Astrid up to her chest, staying there for the rest of the night as they fell off to sleep together. 

The morning after Astrid had returned, the secret couple were walking onto the Hammarby training grounds together, dropping their joined hands when they saw teammates and staff ahead of them. 

“Keep this between us?” Astrid whispered to Kyra with a smile before they reached the rest of the team in the change rooms. 

“Yeah.” Kyra nodded and whispered back, agreeing to keep whatever was going on between them until they felt ready to announce their business to the world. 

The first training session back for Astrid was delayed a bit more when the coaching staff called her into the office for a chat. They wanted to check in with her and assure her that there was no need to come back just yet. But Astrid was stern in her decision that she was ready and didn’t want to miss any more football, especially with the World Cup only four months away. They were all concerned but couldn’t do anything against it, her decision was her decision. 

Astrid was back training as if she had never stopped, it might have only been two weeks away from training but she hadn’t done any form of fitness during her time off and it didn’t affect her at all. 

If anything, she looked stronger on the field. Her drills were perfect, her passes clean and her goals impressive. She was focused on being the best footballer she could be, proving to everyone that despite what has happened, she was still the same player as before. 

Tony had been notified by the Hammarby staff of Astrid’s return to training, which is why she had received a call from him at the end of her first week. 

“Hey G-man.” Astrid answered the phone after seeing Tony’s contact pop up. She heard Tony laugh through the phone at the greeting, letting out a smile herself.

“Hello Astrid, how are you?” Tony asked as she sat down on the couch, bringing her knees up under her. 

“Doing well, Tony. How are you?” She asked him.

“Good, thank you. I heard of your return to training at Hammarby this week.” Tony sat back in his own chair. 

“Yes, back and better than ever. Felt good to run on the pitch again.” Astrid nodded her head as she spoke. 

“Good, good.” He paused before he spoke again. “Now, I wanted to speak to you about the national team, and your return with us.” Astrid sat up a bit straighter as he spoke now. 

“Yep.” She responded before waiting for him to continue. 

“You know how much of an asset you are to the team, what you bring to the squad both on and off the pitch with your personality and style.” He paused again. “And we would love to have you back with us for this next camp like always, but as a coaching staff we are unsure if you are ready to return to national level football just yet.” Her heart stopped as he finished. 

“Okay.” She took a deep breath in. “What can I do to show you that I am ready? If I play this next game on Sunday, will you be able to make a decision then? How can I prove to you I am still the same player I was a month ago?” She stood up off the couch awaiting his response. 

“Astrid,” He did not expect her to fight this hard for her spot in the squad so soon. 

“Please, Tony.” Astrid was ready to beg and plead for the chance to prove herself to him and the other coaches. 

“Okay, I will be there to watch on Sunday and then I will converse with the other national staff after the game.” Tony would be lying if he said he didn’t have a bit of a soft spot for the youngest player of his squad. That is why he folded so easily to her pleading. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. I will not let you down Tony.” Astrid could barely contain her excitement but tried, very hard, to remain semi-professional over the phone. 

“I know you won’t. I'll see you on Sunday Astrid.” Tony smiled to himself before hanging up. 

As soon as he hung up she did a little happy dance, jumping up and down in a circle, a wide grin on her face, not noticing Kyra walking into Astrid’s bedroom after her shower. 

“What’s got you all happy?” Kyra laughed at Astrid as she paused and turned around to her with wide eyes after getting caught. 

“Nothing. None of your business, go away.” Astrid playfully shooed her hand at Kyra who stood in the doorway with her mouth wide open. Astrid flopped back down on her bed, using her elbows to prop her body up.

“Excuse me. You should not talk to your girlfriend like that.” Kyra shook her head and began walking over to Astrid. 

“Who said I was your girlfriend? I don’t actually remember you asking me to be your girlfriend” Astrid shrugged with a frown, placing a finger on her chin as if she was thinking really hard. 

“Well, in that case…” Kyra came and laid down on the bed next to her. “Can I be your girlfriend?” She pouted and fluttered her lashes, her best puppy dog eyes on show. 

“Hmmmm. I don’t know, I have to think about that.” Astrid sighed dramatically before Kyra pounced on her, droplets from her wet hair getting splashed onto Astrid as she began to squeal and laugh. “Get off me you pest.” 

“Say yes.” Kyra begged as she kept attacking Astrid with her sopping hair. 

“Fine! Yes.” Astrid yelled out and pushed Kyra off her, both now sitting up on the bed. “You can be my girlfriend.” Astrid barely had anytime to watch Kyra’s reaction because the midfielder was leaning forward and pulling her in by her face and placing a kiss on her lips. 

“Good, that’s all I wanted.” Kyra smiled and Astrid rolled her eyes as Kyra got up. “Now go shower, you stink of training.” She waved her hand in front of her nose and walked out the door. 

“I hate you!” Astrid yelled as Kyra walked down the hall, smiling to herself before flopping back down on her bed. 

After another long week of training harder than ever, Astrid found herself named in the match day squad, not back in the starting line up with Kyra just yet but promised to come on later in the second half of this semi final. 

After the first goal within 15 minutes, Hammarby struggled to find another. The coaching staff were putting off bringing Astrid in and not risking her playing too long too early in her return, but when everyone else’s shots kept falling short, they knew it was her time to shine.

She got subbed on at 65 minutes, moving into the number 9 role in prime position to take plenty of shots on goal. And that she did. Along with 3 other players, she helped advance Hammarby into the finals of the Svenska Cupen Damer, adding two more goals to her tally and impressing a certain coach in the stands. 

After the match Astrid had made her way to where Tony was waiting in the stands, waving him down with a bright smile.

“Good to see you Astrid.” He brought her into a hug over the barrier. 

“Same to you Tony. Did you enjoy the game?” Astrid asked with a smile that he reciprocated. 

“I did. Very impressive. Congratulations on making the final.” Tony was speaking and all Astrid could do was hope that he was impressed and helped him make his decision on her place in the next camp. 

“Thank you. I’m very happy with the result and my own performance.” Astrid beamed with happiness and knew that this was where she was meant to be right now, on the pitch doing what she loves for who she loves. 

“Yes, your play was very good, you’ve been working hard I can see. I know what you’re waiting for me to say but I have to converse with the other staff first, and then I will call you.” He placed a hand on her shoulder and she nodded in response. “Good game.” 

“Thanks G-man.” She called out to him as he walked off and he only shook his head in response, waving a hand up in the air as he kept going. 

She didn’t know when to expect a call from him, thinking he would take a couple of days to converse but it was only two days later when his contact popped up once again, stopping the movie she and Kyra were watching to answer. 

“Hello?” Astrid answered professionally this time. Kyra looked over at her in confusion, unsure of who she was talking to. 

“Hello Astrid. How are you?” Tony was trying to speak blandly to 

“Good, Tony. How are you?” Astrid asked, Kyra’s eyes widened as she realised who it was and what this conversation probably was about. Astrid had been acting odd since the game but not explaining to Kyra why, even though the midfielder had assumed it was in regards to the upcoming Matildas camps.

“Very good.” Tony paused before speaking again. Astrid’s heart was pounding and she began biting her nails, Kyra stopping her by taking a hold of her hand. “I have some news for you. I have talked with the rest of the coaching staff and come to a decision.”

She was too nervous to respond, squeezing her hand in Kyra’s as she waited for him to speak again. 

“We would like to see you with us in London next week for the games against Scotland and England.” Astrid practically fell apart with relief as he said those words. “Your game on Sunday was impressive and what we need going into this camp. We value your skills and determination and look forward to seeing you back with the team.” 

Tony spoke with a large grin that Astrid could feel through the phone. 

“Thank you Tony. That means a lot. And I’ll see you next week.” Astrid finally spoke, a deep breath let out and a very thankful goodbye before she hung up. Astrid turned to Kyra on the couch with a wide grin. “Looks like we’re both headed to London next week.” 

To be continued...

[spade-riddles]

So I had some thoughts about an old message

One step forward

1 2, 3 4 steps back 

For the first twelve albums of her career, and the first 34 years of her life, Taylor has had to take four steps back for every one step forward. Whether it's a step out of the closet or an attempt to push forward musically, or to progress her image - she always had to appease others first, and make compromises. Like the bearding.

As windows glow through darkness

Like candles on a snack 

The windows represent home and hope. Something Taylor is keeping in her view as she moves forward through the dark. 

"Candles on a snack" seems like a reference to a birthday though. The end point of all of this is a birthday? Possibly. We've all noticed how Taylor keeps referencing Karlie's birthday. 8 and 3 everywhere you look. It could just be a silent way to express her love, like the daisy motif. Or maybe it's something we should be keeping an eye on?

Another possibility is that the windows are the hope Taylor is giving Kaylor fans, by offering us "windows" into the truth. Windows like the polaroids at Drake's 30th birthday party, or like all the birthday cakes we suspect were Karlie's doing. The Milk Bar cakes everywhere you look, or the cake with the cats and red roses for Taylor's own thirtieth, that just felt so much like a cake Karlie commissioned for her. 

Cap the lamp, put the goat back 

Frivolous, tenfold, 3 desires 

And until the clock strikes midnight

Light the ground with fires 

"Cap the lamp" - extinguish the flame. Put out the light. Taylor is back under cover of darkness?

"Put the goat back" - This could have any number of meanings. GOAT as in "greatest of all time". Goat as in "scapegoat". Goat as in "Judas goat" (a goat that unsuspecting animals follow into the slaughterhouse). All we can really say with this is that some important part of the plan got put back. Not time. Not yet. 

Alternatively! It's possible this whole portion of the riddle references Disney's Aladdin. 

"Cap the lamp" - the genie in the movie is imprisoned within the lamp by this mechanism. 

"Put the goat back" - the genie transforms into a goat at one point in the movie. (So the goat here is the genie.) The genie wants to be freed from the prison of the lamp. He grants wishes and performs illusions for others, but is imprisoned back in the lamp when not fulfilling this purpose. 

"Frivolous" - the genie is a comedy character but his enslavement within the golden lamp is a darker existence than people realize. 

"Tenfold" - there is a saying that the things you do "will come back on you tenfold". It's probably the most common use of the word these days, and relates to the concept of karma. Anon wanted us to take note of this word in particular. 

"3 desires" - the genie in Aladdin had the power to grant three wishes to the person who let him out of the lamp. Aladdin's wishes were: to be a prince, to be saved from drowning, and finally, to set the genie free. If these correspond to Taylor's three big wishes in her life, then "be a prince" might translate as "find fame"; "be saved from drowning" might translate to "hold onto love" ("I'd hold you as the water rushes in" / "Help me hold onto you"); and finally . . . "free the genie" is freedom.  For both herself and Karlie. No more performing for everyone else while kept in a gilded cage. No more making a lark of the misery. 

And until the clock strikes midnight

Light the ground with fires

"Midnight" here could mean album number twelve. The album Midnights invited us to meet her at. Until then, she's setting fires. The imagery of burning the Lover house has appeared all through the Eras Tour, but setting fires also creates smoke. Smoke can shield you and create a diversion, allowing you to move unnoticed through the haze. Or it can create attention. As in the saying "there's no smoke without fire" - or, some truth in every rumor. A lot of little fires can end up creating a big cloud of smoke, that is hard to ignore. 

Be as clever as a god

Translating seeds of hope

There's purpose in confusion

Slowly untangling the many ropes 

The Greek goddess of wisdom and war = Athena. 

The translating is being done by us, as we decipher Taylor's hints to find the seeds of hope in them. She's telling us the confusion is purposeful and in service to a bigger plan, and asking us to be patient. 

Just some thoughts I had while rereading old riddles! The Aladdin thing especially struck me. I haven't seen anyone else interpret the lamp and the three desires this way

Interesting read! Here is the 🫚 poem:

[placeinthisworld]

just curious what you mean about your idol becoming what she used to sing about? what do you think has changed? no hate just genuinely curious

i feel like over the years her music has become more jaded, less personable more targeted. she used to sing about her experiences and feelings more generally and therefore held more interest bc of the relatability aspect of her songs. like for all the ogs which i may still listen to she had so much intent in the songwriting. like, as a teenager i never went through a breakup (still haven’t?) so i could never relate to her breakup songs in a traditional way- but the way she would write about her feelings would still feel relatable to me enough to help me through different situations.

i feel like now she writes to complete and album. she knows she can bullshit something quick is she’s motivated enough. it feels like midnights was a first draft- like it was never edited and perfected it was just written, recorded and produced. done.

i also feel like her fanbase has a lot to do with it. i think when folklore was released, she had disappeared from the spotlight long enough for the general public to forget why they were so against her to begin with. i think taylor made her dating life a main highlight in her career (whether that was on purpose is another debate), so when she got with joe and went private for a bit the general public weren’t being plastered w ts/ bf gossip and sightings to annoy them and remind them of her “serial dater” reputation. and when folklore came out it was purely about the album and not the relationship that influenced the album bc it was “fictional,” and people needed something fun to transfix on when the world was unpredictable and scary bc of covid- which is why everyone and their mom became a swiftie overnight. nobody speculated about what song was about who (i mean swifties did ofc but it wasn’t a world wide thing- it was just rocking out to august). the internet definitely shifted during this time and it feels like everyone became chronically online.

long story short: i feel like taylor is using her songwriter and platform as a weapon. she knows her fans are weirdly cult like and notoriously known for being bullies on the internet, and that they’ll buy and believe anything she says. i think everyone will be expecting a folklore- likeness to ttpd but i think it’ll be a cheap way of blowing over her relationship with joe and changing the narrative for rep tv. overall it just feels like all of her songwriter is so personal to her life and her relationships it’s not relatable anymore, her words don’t have the impact they once did. everything feels tailored to her life specifically and it’s more of a show for swifties to make pick up easter eggs for clout on the internet. like she knows what she’s doing with ttpd, we all know.

it’s evident in the way she markets herself, it’s evident in the lack of marketing of her albums. she knows her fans will promote it for her. no lead single, no real description of the album or anything. hundreds of dollars of encouraged preorders for something you don’t even know if you’ll like until you buy it. fucked with umg to try to return it if you don’t. fomo if you missed out on an “exclusive” or “limited” item.

also just the whole miss americana thing she’s ignoring. we all heard her. she said she wanted to be on the right side of history. yet here she is politically silent as always- besides that one time in 2020 when she coincidentally had something to release….

(also unrelated….but like the taylor overexposure is real. i love that she’s interested in doing different things but i wish she would prioritize quality over quantity. it feels like she’s rushing through everything to get to the next one. i just wish she would care more about her art than breaking records and being #1/ talked about constantly. it just feels very….narcissistic? like girlie you’re a billionaire and youre still in your early thirties what are you trying to do??? be the first person to sing on the moon like??? when is it Enough for her?)

[bambieyedoll]

hii could i request a bella x singer reader. maybe something by taylor swift? <3

hi, love ! thank you for your request. that’s such a cute idea, i enjoyed writing this and i hope you like it too. ♡

⊹ 𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ

music was everything to you.

you started your own youtube channel at the age of sixteen, uploading covers with nothing more than your guitar, which was gifted to you when you were a kid.

who would’ve thought that a couple of years later you were going to be working on your debut album? the popularity you gained with the support of your fans was turning your life into a dream come true.

you’ve been working hard on your songs and lyrics. some nights when the inspiration hit, you stayed up with your computer on your lap until sunrise. some other nights, you fell asleep on uncomfortable positions while writing sitting on your desk. you just wanted to show your gratitude.

thankfully for you, there was someone who had been by your side through the whole album-making process and sleepless nights taking care of you.

“babe?” bella called before entering your room only to find you sitting on the bed with the guitar in your hands. a small laugh left their lips at the sight, these days you were always found using your notebook, computer or guitar. without fail.

“today’s supposed to be your free day, young lady” they playfully scolded you with their hands on their hips before making that cute characteristic pout of theirs with their lips.

you two were inseparable from the moment you met. quickly became best friends but always wished you were more. everyone could tell except for the two of you who were painfully oblivious. it wasn’t a surprise for any of your family members when bella finally confessed and you became a couple. the laughter (and teasing) never ended that day.

“i wasn’t working, i swear!” you innocently smiled at them and looked down to the guitar. “i actually wanted to play something for you” your fingers gently traced the strings with a familiar feeling coming to you.

you remembered the night you met. two shy teenagers stealing glances at each other through the room full of people. your families were attending a neighborhood party and there they were. you noticed them but wouldn’t dare to start a conversation, too introverted for that. it wasn’t until your sibling introduced you that you learned their name was bella and from that moment on, your story started.

you came home that night and wouldn’t stop thinking about them. you were a mess of new feelings, everything in your life just turned upside down. as usual, you recurred to music to try and understand what you were feeling and that’s when “enchanted” by taylor was officially coronated as your most played song.

“it’s a special song to me” you let them know beforehand and saw how bella kneeled to sit in front of you to pay all their attention to only you.

bella made sure you knew how much they admired you and your art. your voice was their favorite sound in the whole world and if you asked them, they would describe it as an angelic, soothing lullaby to their ears. there was no doubt bella was your number one supporter. just as you were theirs.

you instantly smiled at their sweet gesture and when you looked into their eyes you could see it right there. the indescribable love you felt for each other and your source of inspiration.

with a small sigh and an open heart, you started playing your treasured song chords and your voice quickly joined.

(…)

“your eyes whispered “have we met”

across the room, your silhouette

starts to make its way to me”

bella’s shoulders relaxed as your voice filled the silent room. the delicate way you played and sang moved them deeply and they listened to every word you intoned.

(…)

“and it was enchanting to meet you

all i can say is i was enchanted to meet you”

you looked up at them as the melody went on creating a dreamy background for an intimate moment. bella could only blink as if they were in slow motion, their mind taking them back to the night they saw you for the first time.

(…)

“this is me praying that

this was the very first page

not where the story line ends

my thoughts will echo your name

until i see you again

these are the words i held back

as i was leaving too soon

i was enchanted to meet you”

(…)

the moment you finished, you slowly opened your eyes. you didn’t even remember when exactly you closed them. bella’s heart was beating like a drum, their fingers touching their lower lip as a “fool in love” type of smile appeared on their face.

“please, let me kiss you” was all they could say with a breathy tone before they stood up and tackled you to the bed. carefully laying the guitar on the side making sure you didn’t get hurt in any way.

your giggles filled the room as bella’s kisses went from your cheeks to tip of your nose to you chin and then your forehead. they pecked you a thousand times and you just stayed there giggling with your face squished in their soft palms.

@poeverse

[2manythoughtz]

Barbie has been deeply misunderstood?

The movie Barbie is still topic of many discussions among viewers and their different points of view. The Golden Globes have proved just why this movie was needed in the first place.

Recently some comments have been made during The Golden Globes that have left people thinking. For those who don’t know, The Golden Globes is an annual ceremony that takes place in the US and awards movies, TV series, actors and so on based on their categories and the votes are made by approximately 300 entertainment journalists from various parts of the world. As with all ceremonies, they must have a host who most of the time is someone famous in the entertainment industry and who is meant to make the night funny and unforgettable, sadly this year was not the case.

Jo Koy, who is a famous stand-up comedian and actor, was the host of this year’s edition and some of his jokes left people speechless. While most VIPs in the audience looked somehow confused and uncomfortable as he tried to get a few laughs from everyone. Of course, hosting is not an easy task, there’s a lot of pressure on the person and I’m sure they need a lot of time to prepare their jokes. That doesn’t excuse what has been said and, while no one in the audience said anything about it, the fans at home were not so silent on the matter.

While many lines were not appreciated, such as Jo Koy’s comment about Taylor Swift that left her fans bitter about it, one in particular really struck a nerve and everyone started talking about it on social media. “Oppenheimer is based on a 721-page Pulitzer Prize-winning book about the Manhattan Project, and Barbie is on a plastic doll with big boobies.” And if that wasn’t bad enough, he then added. “I don’t want you guys to think that I’m a creep. It was kind of weird being attracted to a plastic doll, just something about your eyes, Ryan…it’s not all about you Margot.” And finally. "The key moment in Barbie is when she goes from perfect beauty to bad breath, cellulite, and flat feet. Or what casting directors call character actor!"

As you can imagine, the Barbie cast was not too enthusiastic about these comments as they looked embarrassed rather than amused. People all over social media are criticizing Jo Koy for proving the movie’s point, just because the movie is about a “doll with big boobies” doesn’t mean that it’s something he can comment about so lightly. This misogynistic behavior is exactly why Barbie was made in the first place, to show people that in a world dominated by men, women will always be looked down upon, whether they’re real or just dolls.

But what is the Barbie movie about? Whether you love it or hate it, I think everyone agrees on the fact that the Barbie movie is a way to show people, mostly young women, that it’s hard to fit in today’s society. Women have been fighting for their rights for years, trying to become men’s equals while also feeling the pressure that has been put on them to be perfect no matter what. Barbie is about a doll, yes, but the story revolves around something deeper. The way Barbie slowly realizes that being imperfect is not a bad thing, it’s just a human thing, and the way she manages to understand her feelings as she evolves from feeling perfect to slowly wondering if there’s more to life is just eye-opening.

The movie discusses many topics and, while some of them may be a bit controversial, the main topic is womanhood. What is it to be a woman, what if feels to be a woman and how women are portrayed. So joking about Barbie’s body in a sexual way and the struggles she encounters is not only sickening but also embarrassing.

Greta Gerwig, the movie’s director, remained professional on her end and when asked to comment on Jo Koy’s words, she simply said. “Well, he’s not wrong,” she continued. “She’s the first doll that was mass-produced with breasts, so he was right on. And you know, I think that so much of the project of the movie was unlikely because it is about a plastic doll. Barbie by her very construction has no character, no story, she’s there to be projected upon.”

Even so, the Barbie movie won an award for best Cinematic and Box Office Achievement.

Speaking of awards, there’s something else we must address. Another misconception that shows just how everyone has misunderstood how deep the movie’s message is. In fact, most of the movie’s soundtracks were nominated as Best Song at the Critics Choice Awards and, as everyone expected What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish to be the winner, I’m Just Ken ended up winning that title. Yet again, it’s almost laughable as this song is basically a joke about the Kens feeling misunderstood and ignored by Barbie, while What Was I Made For is a song about womanhood and the hard feelings and fears that women live with. The award went to the only song made by a man that was up against the other 2 songs made by women for the same movie.

Ryan Gosling’s reaction has become viral online as you can see him confused and unamused by this unexpected victory. Yes, I’m Just Ken maybe became more popular because of the memes but to put it above a meaningful song such as What Was I Made For felt unreal. I’m not sure which was worse, Jo Koy’s jokes or this award.

What are you thoughts? Let me know!

[lichoulychou]

You're losing me

Actor! Credence Barebone x Actress! Reader

Modern! Au

Summarization: You and Credence are actors that had been in a relationship for quite long and one day a new love team surfaces between him and nagini.. The more it had continued on you feel abandoned and unlove so you decided to...

Warning: Angst, mentions of cheating, love team, Reader feels abandoned by credence, arguemeants, Sad ending, cursing, and insecurities.

(I'm bad at english so please bare with me)

Before all the events, Credence had texted you.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Credence: Love!!

Credence: I got the role for the movie I applied for!

Credence: All tho I'll have to have a new lead actress for this one, would it be okay for you?

(Y/N): That's great for you love!!

(Y/N):Ofcourse its okay! Literally its our job!

(Y/N): Goodluck!! Don't tire yourself out much!

Credence:Ofcourse! I'll never forget you even if I have someone else as my co-star..

Credence: Loveyou!

(Y/N): Loveyoutoo!🩷

------------------------------------------------------------------

After all that it had been crumbling for you, you felt happy for him at first ofcourse. Then suddenly it just all crashed down, he had been giving more time to the girl than you. It made you feel insecure, you felt as if nagini was prettier than you, she'd always been but it hurt you.

The more time had passed more articles would make rumor's about them being together, and each time it never failed to hurt you. Most of their fans hated you, always commenting how they look better than you and credence being together.

But as you broke down your phone buzzed, a new notification from him. He finally texted you again. He reminded you about something..

------------------------------------------------------------------

Credence: Hey, get ready we have a date night.

Credence: But we have to be quick, me and nagini's manager wants more publicity action.

(Y/N): Ok careful driving.

(Y/N): Loveyou hun :)

Love🩷 Reacted to your message 👍🏻

------------------------------------------------------------------

He always said "I love you back" now all he does is either leave you on read or react to your message, your credence had grown distant to you and it made you feel so lonely and cold. How did someone so sweet turn so cold and unresponsive? You sighed as you thought more about how much he's change ever since he got this role. He spent more time with nagini now.

You can't leave him you thought, hey it's for his career right? Maybe he'll turn back sweet again and be the same old credence he was. You tried to re-assure yourself as you got ready in the shower.

After you got done you did your hair and make up. Hoping that psyhically he'd still be sweet and cheerful. As you finally put on your shoes, you hear the doorbell ring. It must be credence, you thought to yourself. After you opened your door it really was credence and he looked tired and cold. But most of all he didn't give you flowers like he usually did. Back then even if tired he'd give you a bouquet or a single flower. Now not even anything, but still maybe it was just nothing maybe he had just forgotten since he had been tired.

------------------------------------------------------------------

(Timeskip)

You guys had arrived in the restaurant, still Credence still seemed to be un-energetic. You didn't want to annoy him or anything so you decided to stay silent until both of your orders had arrived.

As the more you zoned out, you didn't realize that the food that you guys had ordered finally came to your table. You hear most of the plates clank as it hit the table snapping you out of your thoughts.

"So how was your day today hon?" You finally spoke after the silence you both endured in the car and upon entering the restaurant.

"It was fine, everything was tiring but nagini made it fun atleast" He said mentioning her name again, it made your heart feel like it was shattered for a thousand pieces. So you just nodded and took a bite out of your food.

After he mentioned her you felt like you lost all energy to even talk about anything to him. So you just stayed silent before he finally spoke first for the first time in the past few months.

"Are you fine?" He said, it made you feel happy that he finally noticed something was wrong, but still this was the bare minimum right?

"No, I'm not. Its just this days you can't even seem to spare me a single glance. It feels so cold without you. Even in your day off's it feels like you spend more time with your co-workers" You said finally confessing how you felt.

But instead of re-assuring you he suddenly got annoyed. "Jeez (Y/N), its our literal job that I would risk if I gave you more attention that this goddamn movie! Its like I should give you all of my attention, I just want a goddamn rest mygod!" He yelled at you and it made you feel so upset and it made you more lonely than you ever used to have.

After you both ate, you both just rushed in the car and didn't talk as he drove you back to your house.

Neither of you said sorry, you just got out of the car. He didn't even walk you to the door he just left immediately his car roaring loudly as it left.

You suddenly got a notification from your manager saying that there will be a gala for tomorrow night.. Which also means Credence was invited and it would make both of you look awkward, but hey he'd probably be just hanging out with nagini so what's there to worry about now?

------------------------------------------------------------------

(TIMESKIP TO THE GALA NIGHT)

As you got ready the more you anxious you get, you tried to re-assure yourself but you couldn't handle it.

Suddenly you get another notification from twitter it was an article.

"Nagini and Credence spotted together last night hugging each other?"

You'd see the whole article and if you said it didn't bring such a huge sting into your heart people would see right through you.

Finally you were done and ready to go to the gala, you wanted to cry and breakdown as the time passes on. You just wanted to call credence and seek for his comfort but you knew not to settle for less so you decided that you'd confront him this night.

You snap out of your thoughts when you remember that your driver had honked his car outside to let you know that he had been there.

------------------------------------------------------------------

You finally arrived in the place that you all had been assigned to, just as soon as you stepped out the flashes of the camera's blinded you but you continued to strut down pretending that you felt confident despite everything that has happened in your life.

"So (Y/N).." You hear a cheerful voice besides you and when you look at them it had seemed like they were an interviewer.

"Oh my! Hello! Rude of me not to notice you were right there.." You said once again faking your feelings as you didn't want to bring anyone's mood down.

"So (Y/N) how do you feel tonight? You looks so stunning... You're so beautiful like a goddess has walked on earth definitely!" She said complimenting you, it had sent a deep wave of happiness to your heart as this sweet girl complimented you so nicely and sweetly. It didn't feel like every other interview where the interviewers had been plastic and all.

"Oh I'm fine for now.. But I hope the rest of the night goes well and I just hope everything turns out happy. Also, thank you for the compliment and oh my gosh you look stunning in your own little uniform" You said to her returning her compliment in a thankful manner.

"Aww thank you Ms. (Y/N) , I hope you really do have a fantastic night at this gala." and with that she left you now starting to interview more of the peoplw that had arrived.

Finally after all of the interviews and photo's you saw him and.. Nagini..? I guess it is for their contract after all. You decided to just finally let yourself be free and start drinking.

------------------------------------------------------------------

(Few hours later)

You were drunk and tipsy, you had drank atleast 10 glasses of vodka and 3 glasses of beer. You suddenly felt yourself march up to someone, It was Credence and he wasn't with nagini or anyone at all.

"You! how could you! after eveything we've been through you're gonna choose her over me Credence!?" you'd yell at him as no one could hear you both. You guys were at the balcony after all, a balcony that no one would know you were both up in.

"(Y/N) leave me alone.. You're stressing me out.." Credence said with a tired tone like he had yesterday

"You're losing me babe" You said in a painful sob

"Do something babe please, I still need and want you" You choked out

"What are you talking about?" Credence said sounding almost irritated now.

"Its me or her Credence." You said in a spiteful yet drunk voice.

"Lose something babe, risk something please" You said as you started to violently sob.

"You cannot make me pick between you (Y/N)! She is my friend! I cannot pick between you both!" Credence argued.

" Is she just your friend or do you fucking love her Credence! Is she just a friend or you fell for her while I was suffering feeling all those thoughts as you were seen happy! It all felt like a knife was cutting me deep inside, I felt so lonely credence. I felt so vunurable! You fucking lost me Credence." You said yelling as you cried feeling all your emotions explode. After that you had not waited for him to respond as you finally ran away and called for your driver.

But after you ran you could hear him call for you, it almost made the world feel like it had slowed down but you didn't let it happen and continue to run.

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Hi! I'm gonna do another on of this where it starts with (Y/N)'s pov but then switches to credence so we finally know how he felt about this whole situation. So I'm probably gonna use more taylor swift's songs to emphasize my stories. In the next part I might use dress or cornelia street;))