#I love I can still make myself smile in the hell
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cevansbrat0007 · 2 days ago
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https://x.com/auxgod_/status/1854935706742706397?s=46
ari’s reaction if bird tried to walk out the house with this on 👀
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Untitled Sweet Renegade Series Ask & Drabble
Please enjoy the Sweet Renegades Series Drabble found after the cut. Warnings include: Mature Themes, Implied Smut, Ari Being a Possessive Menace, Brat!Reader, Manhandling, Crude Language, and Cursing. Minors DNI.
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Listen, Ari considers himself to be a rather progressive man. He has two sisters that he respects and adores. And a little niece that fills him with pride. He plans to teach his nephew about the importance of respecting women - of treating them with the utmost reverence and care.
However, the moment Ari laid eyes on his sweet, stubborn little Bird, it was if something in him snapped. It came from somewhere deep. Primal. And the beast in him demanded that he stake his claim. Before her, Ari had never really considered himself to be the possessive type. He just assumed that jealousy wasn't a part of his makeup.
But now? Her smile. Her laugh. Her light. Every delicate inch of her gorgeous curvy body. All of it belongs to him. In the most primal, feral sense.
And he does not like to share.
So, while he wants to encourage Bird as she continues down the path of consistent, healthy body positivity, he's also man enough to admit that that there's no way in hell he'd let her fine ass out of the house wearing a dress like that. And here's why:
"Baby..." He rasps, caging you in as he backs you against the door. "You look fucking stunning." Two thick fingers trail their way down your body, stopping once they reach the valley between your breasts. "But I'm afraid I can't let you leave. Not while you're wearin' that."
"What's wrong with it?" Your words come out as a gasp when you feel a hand wind its way into your curls, holding you still as he continues his assault. The seconds drag on as his head dips, his mouth finding yours.
"Because, sweet Bird." Ari presses, forcing you to take his delicious weight. Making your pulse spike as he grinds his increasingly hard cock against your abdomen.
"B-because?"
"Because..." He draws out the word as he wrenches your head back so that he can whisper maddening little love bites along the curve of your jaw. "This is the kinda dress you wear when you're out with your man." You have a hard time breathing as his free hand skims lower before coming to rest on the swell of your bottom.
"Oh yeah?" You continue to goad - against your better judgement.
To be honest, you'd known what you were risking when you saw the dress hanging on the rack. You had no business playing with fire. But that's part of what made all of this so fun.
"Absolutely." Ari's normally bright blue eyes darken with arousal as he watches your chest heave. Almost as if he's imagining what it might be like to slowly peel the garment off you, piece by piece. "Because these hips and that ass - they're enough to give a man ideas."
His soft lips find their way to your ear, his warm breath making you shiver.
"And when they start wantin' to entertain those ideas," he muses, more to himself than you. "I need to be there as your man to shut 'em down."
"I see." A sharp nip of teeth has you clenching your thighs together.
"Because I am the only man who's allowed to know what it's like to bury myself between those luscious thighs." Using two fingers, he tips up your chin, wordlessly demanding that he look you in the eyes. "And only I get to know what you taste like when you cum on my tongue. Which therefore makes me the only man with exclusive rights to your tight, little pussy."
"Okay Beast." You can't help the giggle that bubbles its way out of your throat. "I think you've made your point."
"Have I, little Bird?" He growls, releasing his grip on your chin to capture your wrists, trapping them above your head. "Or do I need to remind you that I'm not the sharing type?"
The steady tick in his jaw lets you know that you and your dress have once again pushed this man to the edge. But the real question was...
Just what did you plan to do about it?
Batting your lashes up at him, you decide it's time to let the brat in you win out once and for all. Go big or go home, you know?
"Eh, it's been awhile, big guy." You purr, catching your bottom lip between your teeth. "I'm thinkin' you might need to refresh my memory."
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END
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beloveds-embrace · 21 hours ago
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Noona I have toughts and need to share them before they forever get lost in the void that is my AuHD brain. I also realised I never introduced myself, you can call be eevee (like the pokemon) and I go by any pronouns!
Simon Riley didnt want to have children. Its not that he didn't like children, he was actually quite fond of them and something inside him melted when ever a chubby cheeked tolder smiled up at him with their little teeth poking through and when a lost child came up to him when he was out shopping and asked him to help find their parents because he was the tallest person there and that obviously meant he could find them easier, he was bending down to the childs level his eyes soft and warm as he asked their names and what they looked like. He was constantly in awe of the little humans who just saw him as a man, not the monester he believed he was in his mind. What stopped him from having children was fear.
Fear he would turn out like his own father, fear that something would happen that would trigger him (because lets be real, the mans a vet and he sure as hell suggees from PTSD) and he would do something he would regret. Fear that he would be sent on a mission and be lost forever, no one knowing where he was or where his body is and he wouldn't make it home to his partner and kids. Fear of raising them wrong or doing the wrong thing and they turn into monsters themselves. It was a fear so strong that he went and got a vasectomy at the age of 18 to prevent any accidents and even with the vasectomy he insists on another form of birth control before he has sex with anyone.
Then he meets you. All soft and sweet and kind and bright. So so bright. All his life has been a dark cloud and rolling thunder clouds just waiting to burst and drown him in their water, but you are like a hint of sun shining through the clouds. Reminding him that every dark day has its end, that even after a storm there is brightness and colour with rainbows. That even if the clouds burst and dark, heavy rain drenches his soul there is still goodness in the world and the sun will always be there to dry and brighten the world again. And he falls in love and for the first time in a long time, he is truly happy.
You obviously know Simon didn't want kids, it was something he told you when you first started dating but it wasn't a deal breaker, you weren't even sure you wanted kids either. You had your own trauma and darkness to work through before you wanted to even start thinking about kids.
After learning more about Simon and his past, you manage to talk him into seeing a trauma therapist. You knew therapy wasn't for everyone but you wanted him to at least try because there were parts of himself he kept so deeply locked away behind stainless steel doors with reinforced padlock that he needed to discuss with someone and he wouldn’t talk about it with you, he didnt want his darkness to dampen your light, but he agreed. He did one session and then another and then another, actually finding benefit in them as he discussed his fears out in the open for the first time. About what he had been through with his dad and as a soldier. He knew bottling everything up didnt help, usually finding solace for his overwhelming thoughrs in a bottle of whiskey that msde the world disappear, he knew it made him for volitaile and dangerous and he didnt want to be dangerous around you, not now. Not ever. He wanted you to expeirnce the same sense of peace ans safety with him as he did you.
Eventually he worked through his fears of fatherhood and having children, realising that he could break the cycle and be the dad he didnt have. He wants to discuss it with you, the potential of having his vasectomy reversed, especially after Johnnys missus has a baby and he sees how good you are with them. Holding them so comfroably in your arms and soothing them when they fuss and hes even surprised with how good he is with them. Able to hold them in one arm, tight against his chest so the baby can hear his heartbeat. You watch him with a small smile, your heart melting at the sight as you feel yourself falling in love with him all over again. After that day you two become the designated baby sitters for the littlest MacTavish and Simon takes to caring for it like a fish in water.
Its a few months later, after Johnny picks his baby up that you overhear Johnny ask Simon about having his own little one and Simon says he's been thinking about it, been thinking about having his vasectomy reversed and giving you the baby you deserve (because he has noticed the sad look in your eyes everytime you give the little one back to his parents and how happy you ar holding them in your arms). Johnny reassurs him that hes nothing to worry about, hed be a great father and hes sure that youd agree. So that night, after showers and dinner he brings it up and he assures you hes doing it because he wants to. Because he wants to have a baby and not just because you seem to want one and when tou agree, hed phoning the clinic the next morning to get his vasectomy reversed and you're phoning to get your birthcontrol stopped
Once its done, it takes a maximum of three months before you're pregnant and Simon stands with you in the bathroom waiting for the results to come up on the test. Hes hand holding yours and his heart beating erratically in his chest as five minutes seems like five hours and as soon as the test shows positive hes sweeping you up into his arms and thanking you over and over between kisses for giving him a baby, tears prick at his eyelids but dont quite fall
But when you're little girl, Aurora, is born he cries. His heart is just so full of love for the little girl in his arms and for you that he can't help the emotions from spilling over.
So yeah, Simon Riley didnt want kida but he is so damn glad he meet you and he did
this is so wholesome and cute and sweet?? i love it so so so much omfg thank you for sending this in! girldad!simon means everything to me <333
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episodes-ff · 1 day ago
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Strong Man
Happy Veterans Day, y'all! As a daughter and niece of veterans, I wanted to give you all a little treat. Especially after remembering Jacob was in fact in a military movie and Aaron plays a former military man. Also Reggie and Terry are Marine Corps men so why not have him join the fold. Enjoy!!!!
P.S. This is just a one-off where Armando always knew his father and joined the Marine Corps with his friends Terry and Reggie instead of leading the cartel...
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Armando
Finishing the final strides to my barracks, I came back one last time to say goodbye to my family. "Ohhhh! He's growing so fast!" My uncle Marcus wailed sniffling into his tissue as my dad and I shook our heads. "Will you quit your nonsense, Marcus?" "I can't help it, Mike. He was just a little baby on your hip, now he's going to the Marines." He cried more and more as he suffocated me into a hug. "Don't you have your own family to say goodbye to?" I asked pointing out his daughter and wife as they hugged her boyfriend, Reggie." "Damn, Reggie! You're my nephew, man. I'm gonna miss you."
Chuckling, I hugged him before turning my attention over to my dad. "C'mere, man." He smiled on the verge of tears as he pulled me into a warm hug. "You're not turning soft on me are you, old man?" "I see you got jokes, son. This old man can still whoop yo lil Mexican ass." He chimed as we laughed together. Patting my back, he held my forehead to his and smiled. "I'm proud of you, son." "Thank you, papa. That means the world to me." Giving out all the last hugs and kisses I could afford, I dapped up Reggie before we grabbed our duffle bags and headed inside to start our new lives.
**MONTHS LATER**
Dapping up my boys, Terry and Reggie, I strapped on my gear as we chattered about our plans for the night on the way to our dorms. "So run it by me again, man? What's the plans?" "We hitting the bar on McIntosh in downtown. You in, Reggie?" "Nahhh, not tonight guys. I'm taking a visit to my lady." Reggie said holding his hands up in defense as we groaned. "Ohhhh, baby girl got you pussy whipped, huh?" Terry jibed while he nodded. "Aye, that's my wife you talking about. And yea, I like spending time with my baby." "Awwww, your babyyyy. Answer me this? When you gone make an honest woman outta Megan? It’s been long enough, bro." I said recounting when they met. "If she'll take me, hell tonight." He smirked flashing us the bright ring he had stored in his duffle. "Ohhhh shit! Now that’s what the fuck I’m talking about." Tee hooted as I smiled. "Tryna tell you young bucks, you gotta find the woman for you and her an honest one." "Young buck? Bro, we're the same age." "Hey, I'm just saying." "Whatever, man. Tell us how it goes." "Gotcha gotcha."
Throwing on my shirt, I threw on my watch and chain before hitting myself a couple times with cologne and grabbing my phone and wallet. Headed up to Terry's dorm, I sent a few raps to the door before waiting for his arrival. Watching him come out, I frowned my brows before laughing. "Bro, what the fuck do you have on?" I questioned analyzing his choice of attire. "Hey, what can I say? The ladies love coming to the gun show." He boasted pumping his swollen biceps as I shook my head. "Whatever, dickhead, let's go."
Pulling up to the club, we parked valet before heading in and taking our place at the bar. Ordering a couple beers, we waltzed over to the pool tables as we each scoped the scenery around us. Bumping my head to the music, I stopped squinting my eyes as they landed on this beautiful woman sitting at a booth with her friend. "Aye, I'll be right back." I said leaving Terry as I headed over. "I see ya, boy!" He hooted surrounded by thirsty women. Walking over, I stopped just behind her as friend looked up and smiled. "Well, hi there!" "How are you ladies tonight?" I said putting on the charm as she turned to fully face me. Gorgeous was an understatement with this one. "My name is Armando, and you are?" "My name is Laila and this is my girl, Diamonté." "Diamonté, huh? That's a very unique name." "Why thank you. I can say the same for you, Armando." "Oh can you?" I smirked eyeing her lustfully as I smoothly brought her hand up to my lips.
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Terry
Watching my boy work his magic, I cheesed before bringing my attention back to the ladies surrounding me. "You said you're in the Navy, right?" "Marines, little mama." I flirted tapping her chin as she flushed red. "So is that how you got such big arms?" "Nah, I been working out long before I joined. Want me to demonstrate, baby?" Nodding nervously, I smiled a devilish grin before whisking her up into my arms and hitting some bicep curls as she giggled with her friends. Setting her down, I cheesed as they all flirtatiously offered their numbers.
Heading out of the bar with Armando in tow, we drove back up to base and signed in before heading up to our rooms for curfew. Whipping off my sweaty and smelly clothes, I tossed em in the laundry basket before taking another shower. Coming out, I let the steam wrap me in a warm embrace as I looked down at my phone to see if I had any missed notifications. Seeing none from the one girl I actually wanted to talk to, I clenched my jaw as I logged into Facebook. Smiling at the memories of old friends and family as they updated on their current lives, I tapped the search bar and smoothly typed her name. Watching her page come up at the top of the search as it always did, I tapped her profile breathing a ragged breath as an image of her with another man shadowed my view. Clearing my throat, I shook my head quickly logging out before tossing my phone to the side and laying down on my pillow. I can talk to all the girls in the world, it'll never compare to her.
Y'all the outpouring of love I've been receiving is truly heartwarming. I had truly given up on writing after the mishaps with my other stories and you guys are giving me the push to continue 🥹🥹🥹🥹
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boredymcbored · 9 months ago
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Let's Vent
cause IDK if this will see the light of day but I'm upset.
You're sad. You're miserable. You're so easily fixable too. But only indulge in the sad huh?
Like my mess of a room. My weight gain (I'm surprised I'm not more upset at that for all the work I've done). Your loneliness. Cause you were lead on by a woman to join a friend group that you desperately needed (nefariously). Then were lead on again by a woman to join a friend group you desperately needed (genuine?). And you can't step away cause you're So Dang Likable! (TM) and you also love those people and need them cause you're so dang lonely.
Which is also your fault. Cause even after seeing two close friends in caskets, you can't get over your guilt of not being there the last couple of years for your HS friends and think it's best to remove yourself from their grace cause they're better off without you. Even though they keep saying they miss you.
And it's not just your highschool, but college friends too. You know of one person that always forgives your proclivities to self isolate and still be there but you can only text him sports ball shit. Still haven't told him when you'd call back btw. And yes he's your best friend the world has ever gifted you, but he's not yours. For that reason.
You can't even get solace from your incredibly worried mother cause she is quarantined from you because you actually decided not be be a recluse and hang out with friends. But they tested positive for covid. Now you're cut off from the person that can smell your sadness from miles away cause you can't even socialize with friends right before leading you to more isolation. At least you dodge her looks of pity and concern a few days, huh?
And now you beg for a sports ball team you like to be playing a game so that you can dissociate with the parasocial environment of twitter and reddit to FEEL at least somewhat fulfilled in the social department right? But it's social junk food and you know it. The artificial connections that you formed are not meaningful and you can act like it adds validity to some type of work that you've done in the past cause PREVIOUSLY people noticed it but now you don't have much of an aura of notability now do ya? Probably cause you're not on TV and only seem to be doing the same couple jobs with no career growth.
Not that you even want that growth do you? Cause you could be applying but are letting something that potentially ruined your ability to smoothly get hired or just traverse through the world weigh on you. And TBF the weight of that will now stick with you. That INCREDIBLY stupid thing that was non consequential has been a dark cloud over you for 3 years and won't go away cause of forces out of your control. ONE thing you can't control in this vent.
But you can control how fucking sad you get when you don't answer work questions right away and your mind starts to replay the words you've found hard to push out your mind "You can never do shit. You don't do shit". That woman that was supposed to support you, that you went through hell and shame to earn, told you that shit after you gave up so much of your self to help her, while you were fucking spiraling. And she broke you, didn't she? All the confidence that you were just starting to rebuild brick by brick was once again laid askew. You still haven't built it back either. From doing the world to barely being functional, that shit broke you in ways that you still are struggling with today. Guess you don't do shit after all.
My brain isn't rational rn. It'll say things that aren't all the way true or are heavily influenced by my loneliness, my anxieties, my fears and general unhappiness that I have rn in life. It's bringing up all my childhood traumas and insecurities to front and center stage and I just ... And it's no one else's fault that I'm feeling this way. But I feel neglected. And scared. of what i'd do. And my rationality. It's stopping me from being dramatic. Like right now I'm screaming to myself BITCH STOPPPP being so dramatic. And knowing my goofy ass, even with all my tears and fears, I smile as I write this..
But I know it's coping. It's self soothing. It's just me playing survivor man. Les Stroud at your service. Spending 7 days in the deep Andrea mindfuck wilderness. Scary, I know.
Cause the instinct to call for friends. Or call for help. Has taken over by the big bad that is my mind. And it's winning. And eating my life away. By doom scrolling. Making content and never releasing it. Having ideas and never doing it. Good ideas too man. So much creativity. And a gift. Ruined by a brain hungry to dim the light I'm holding on for dear life.
This is not a cry for help. I've been a lot more sad. A lot more crazy. Nothing is like being in the bathroom of my dorm after continuous isolation and identity issues, just trying to rip myself out of my body and away from the negative voices that were screaming at me to hurt myself. Everything was so grey then.
I still see color. I can find joy in the media I consume, despite the immense guilt I feel afterwards for not doing much else but that. Steph Curry is playing well? That makes me happy. I streamed. That was pleasant as well.
I feel like a waste of space but there's SOME rational part of me that reads all of what I wrote and KNOWS it's a lie. And I pray that I never lose that voice cause it's a DAMN good voice. I know I am the reason for most of these things, but not even in a bad way. In a way I can fix if I work on myself, one step at a time.
I just need hope to pull that out. And idk where to find it. I'll have to be the one to pull it, I know. I just need.. I don't know. But I need. And I feel pathetic for being so needy. And wanting. And being so unstable. But I NEED. And I don't know where I've gonna get my need from..
I just hope I find it soon.
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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God I don't wanna go to therapy tomorrow. Sick of talking about my feelings in a clinical setting. I do enough psychoanalysis just by myself, and now I gotta sit through it with someone else??? Come on.
#speculation nation#i say as if i didnt submit myself to this and am not willingly paying for this to continue#idfk man ive always hated therapy. just kinda kept it going bcus i was so messed up about the whole grief shit#and i guess it's been maybe helpful. i dont know.#SHOULD i mention this tomorrow? i already know it's ass and entirely undeserved#if i did it'd mostly be another source to complain about it. theres really nothing anyone can say to make it better#bc it's bullshit and it already happened. and i already have the objective proof of yet another person losing interest in me.#... i dont know. i feel like it's inevitably going to come up. it's already taken up so much of my thoughts.#my every dream last night stemmed from it all. it was such a fitful night of sleep.#i can only pray that i dont dream about it tonight too. i want a fucking break from it all.#i hope she loses sleep from guilt. i hope she hurts every time she remembers what she did to me.#i hope she comes around tomorrow so she can see the face she kissed and she lied about loving#so she can remember im a person with feelings too. a person who opened up to her. a person who trusted her.#............ okay maybe i should talk about my blatantly vicious retaliatory remarks with my therapist.#i tried to reign it in but Bitch Mode definitely came out earlier today. when it was fresh. and i just wanted to make her Hurt.#i still want that honestly. i want her to truly regret doing this. to be filled with so much guilt for how she chose to do it.#i cant change her feelings. no matter how much i might want to. but i sure as hell can make her regret it.#i feel like im allowed a bit of petty bitchiness after this bullshit. but i also dont like the person i become like this.#anger issues. perhaps i should talk about my anger issues with my therapist.#easier than just rehashing the whole breakup. though i'll probably have to do that some too.#but better to have a goal for it. a direction to focus on. so that it's not just me complaining.#... it still wont be fun. and my ex mentioned coming round an hour after my therapy ends for dropping the shit off.#so Assuming she actually shows up (still not convinced she will after she flaked on me twice)#it's gonna be therapy and then seeing her right after. god it's gonna suck.#i'll try to do some homework maybe. and then maybe see if anyone wants to hang out later tomorrow.#my friends r the real ones. hanging out with me for 7 hours... they traded off between them but still#for 7 hours i was not alone. and that was very nice of them to do.#good things. positives! focusing on the positives. i am a healthy person with a healthy outlook on life. smiles.
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donttouchtheneednoggle · 1 year ago
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shout out to thomas from ghosts for yoinking me out of a panic attack before it could really get going
#was shaking and trying not to cry and floating somewhere on the ceiling#then friday im in love came on the radio and reminded me of him doing his stupid little dance and it made me smile and calmed me down a bit#but i gotta give myself credit for not panicking at the panic too much and feeding it more#time was when feeling the thing i felt from first year tm would've sent me into a week long spiral#feels so stupid tho all it was was my volunteering manager asked if i wanted to start doing a longer shift#when im already struggling doing two measly hours a week and nothing else like jfc#but that's cos im not on my adhd meds which make life yknow tolerable and im gonna try getting back on them next week#and i also don't wanna start anything else bc i wanna change my name first so it's not quite so complicated#hahaaa it's already complicated and confusing and frustrating as all hell#but ik if i can just be patient and take these few months to figure stuff out it'll be so much better in the long term#im getting support for the gender tm and I've made so much progress in a month#i still feel guilty and ashamed bc im not actively job hunting or doing more volunteering#and like im just making excuses to let my anxiety win when ik i can cope with it#but i can't handle going into another situation where im misgendered and uncomfortable with my name#im at the end of my tether with it and i need to figure it out#wahoo#mine#vent#in good news tho im pretty certain im a dude more sure about pronouns and have a potential name im thinking of!!
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breadboyayay · 2 years ago
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MADE ME BAWL FOR AN HOUR STRAIGHT. GAHDAMN. 'there are people to love and dishes to do in the meantime.' 'she said i would hold you in my arms and the world would end in love.' 'to look back is to love'. PLSLSLSLS STOP BEING RIGHT !!!!!!!!!!!! PLSLSLSLSLSLSS STFU !!!!!!!!!!!! 😢😢😢😢😢😢👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻‼️‼️‼️‼️😩😩😩😩❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😠😠😠😠😠💔💔💔💔💔😡😡😡😡💔💔💔💔😢😢😢😢❤️❤️❤️❤️✨💫🌟✨💫🌟✨💫‼️‼️‼️‼️ (/POS)
How will the world end?
it’s genuinely not something i think too much about. there are people to love and dishes to do in the meantime.
#MY NOSE IS CLOGGED AS HELL#HEADACHE#EYES SWOLLEN#TISSUES PILED UP#WENT TO DRINK WATER AND REFRESH MYSELF ONLY TO LIE BACK IN BED SND START CRYINF AGAIN#HOW AM I SUPPISED TO SLEEP ITS 9AM#PLS STFU!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME BE MENTALLY ILL AND EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED!!!!!!!!! (/j)#shoving vaporub into my nose and forehead#good shit tho...! needed to b reminded#why is sentiency so tiring#why are emotions so potent#what is love supposed to feel like?#is it an emotion or is it a quiet presence#mentally ill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm gonna start crying again!!!!!!!!!#why is humanity so complex#pls go back to cavemen#goddamn i'm sniffling#my mouth dry as shit from breathing thru it since my nose is clogged#talked to my best friend about love#she loves photography and films and her film camera and i still remember her using one of her films to take a photo of me#i knew what it meant when she chose to preserve a photo of me in her beloved film camera and i didn't know how to act#so i just awkwardly smiled and posed. pretty accurate impression of me anyway#she told me she'd peel oranges for me#and chop apples and lightly spirtz them w lemon juice so that they wouldn't turn brown#and she'd make me soup if i was sick#i buy her food as often as i can which isn't as often as i'd like because i'm still a student and i don't have income yet#i told her id make sure she wouldn't go hungry as best as i could because that's what my dad does for me too#going to her birthday party this saturday!!! i will bring her snacks and matching nail polish and a drawing i made her#she's cackling at me crying rn nvm i hate this mf !!!!!!!!!! love REVOKED back to HATE !!!!!!! /j#post crying headache still clapping cymbals at my head fml
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lymtw · 5 months ago
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It's three in the morning and the sound of your phone vibrating against the bed wakes you from your peaceful slumber. You lazily reach for the blinding light next to you, instantly knowing who's on the other end when you see the blue diamond emoji.
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"Hello..."
You were very much asleep, the raspiness in your voice making it that much more evident.
"Hey, sorry to wake you. Are you okay to talk for a bit?"
Satoru sounds like he's wide awake.
"Don't worry about it. What's up?"
You roll onto your side, your phone between your ear and your pillow. If you close your eyes for more than three seconds, you'll fall asleep again.
There's a slight pause between your response and his. Maybe the signal is bad or he didn't hear you.
"Is everything alright, Satoru?"
"I can't sleep."
He responds quickly this time. His tone didn't change. He didn't sound like he was in distress or too worried about the fact.
"Oh. Uh... have you tried drinking some chamomile tea? I personally don't like it, but when I need to rest, I suck it up and force myself to drink a cup."
He chuckles on the line. You always do what is best for you, even if it's not something you particularly enjoy.
"I think i'm just missing you a lot. Can I come over?"
It was strange to think he hadn't tried a tea remedy for his inability to sleep, but who were you to tell him that? Sleep deprivation does things to people.
"Right now? It's a little late, don't you think?"
You blink slowly, trying to adjust your blurry vision in the dark.
"I promise I won't fall asleep behind the wheel. I really want to see you. Please say yes."
You shut your eyes tightly and open them, your vision clearing up a little. When have you ever said 'no' to him? He always manages to change your mind when you do.
You sigh.
"Okay. You have the spare key to my apartment. I'm going back to sleep."
"I'll be there in like fifteen minutes. Love you, bye!"
You can hear the joy in his tone. He was genuinely so uncomfortable being alone with himself, that he had to wake you up so late at night to invade your space.
You knocked out again, once you hung up the phone. You were in such deep sleep that you didn't even notice when Satoru got to your apartment, or when he entered your room.
You did feel the bed weigh down when he laid down next to you, and your nose couldn't ignore his sweet, sweet scent.
"Baby," he whispered. "I'm here."
"Okay, now go to sleep," you mumble, your eyes still closed.
"Come here." He effortlessly turns you over and pulls you close, lifting your leg over his hip. His hand went up to your face, caressing your delicate, peaceful features before scattering kisses all over it, making sure to elongate the duration of the ones he leaves on your lips.
"Baby," he coos. "Come on, kiss me back."
He's like a dog—constantly begging for your attention. The thought makes you crack a smile, one Satoru does not miss.
"I know you're awake." He smiles, putting your leg back in place, before rolling over until he's on top you.
"Fucking hell, 'toru," you break, cracking up at how he had no remorse after crushing your body.
"There's my pretty baby. I'm so glad you're awake now."
"It's your fault," you grumble.
"If wanting to love you is a crime, then throw me in the slammer and toss the key." His nose dove into your neck, inhaling your scent deeply. "You're just so pretty, and you're all mine."
His affection was starting to evolve into more than lovey dovey kisses. His lips stung every time they met your delicate neck. His hands were roaming beneath your shirt, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
He loved the way your breathing quickened. It had him chasing more of the reactions associated with the hummed melodies.
"You are mine, right?" He knows the answer, but hearing you say it from time to time always makes him happy. His icy blue eyes can read your response before you even form it. He loves flustering you with eye contact tied with touches that burned with desire. To top it all off, he loves teasing you to see the way you scramble your response. "It's okay if you're not." He smirks, catching the way your eyes widened the slightest bit. "That's subject to change, isn't it?" He eggs on.
"I'm yours, Satoru. I belong to you," you say, making it crystal clear to him. "All yours." With this, he wouldn't doubt it again until the next time he wasn't with you.
"Yeah? You know, I would've done anything to hear those words from you." He leans down to kiss you, a spike of arousal hitting him when you bit his lip and sucked on it.
"Oh... you can't do that. I will put a baby in you." He has never said anything so seriously.
"I dare you to put a baby in me," you say, teasingly. You know he won't do it. He's not ready to share you yet.
"Keep acting like that and I will."
His lips ghost the column of your neck, trailing down your chest and lower to your abdomen. Your oversized gown of a t-shirt was the only thing standing between your body and his eyes. He pulled it up and off with a little help from you, tossing it aside after.
You were a little nervous about what was running through Satoru's head. He was devouring you with just his eyes and already you felt so flustered.
"God, don't ogle me like that, 'toru." You put your hands over your breasts���a makeshift bra to cover what he was staring at.
"Let me see you, baby," he pries, gently. He puts his hands on yours, not pulling them away as to not make you do anything you don't want to do. You end up moving your hands on your own, but turn away, unable to hold his gaze when he's watching you that way.
He cups your breasts, his thumbs swiping over your nipples, instantly making them pebble. He could feel the way you tried to press your thighs together, your relief disturbed by his body wedged between your legs. You tried your hardest to remain composed, but his fingers wouldn't let up. His eyes were glued to your face, watching intently until you let out a shaky breath.
"Mhm..." he hummed, grinning at your bashful attempt to stay quiet. "I know this is driving you crazy."
"Shut... up."
"If it isn't, why can I feel you rubbing up against my stomach."
You stop and your cunt throbs at the suddenness of it.
"Just let it out and we can move on. Let me hear that pretty little ah-"
"Fuck," you whimper, interrupting his instructive moan. Your back arches slightly off the mattress, your hands flying to grip his wrists, tightly.
"Good girl," he praises, his fingers letting off your tortured peaks. Little butterfly kisses are placed between your breasts, trailing down to your stomach, where he spends so much time eliciting giggles from you.
His fingers hook around the elastic band of your shorts and panties, pulling them both down in one swoop.
"I didn't know kissing turned you on so much," he says, eyeing the glossy remnants left in your underwear.
"'toru..." you whine, feeling somewhat embarrassed about the amount of arousal you feel at the simplest touches from him.
"What? I'm not complaining one bit. It's cute."
He slides two fingers between your folds, easily collecting your sweetness. You jolt at the sudden contact, looking at him with doe eyes.
"Oh, baby. I don't deprive you of my touch that much, do I?"
You shake your head as he continues to collect your nectar, his fingers dipping in slightly to fully coat his fingertips.
"My sensitive princess." He smiles, softly. "How many times do you wanna cum?"
He never asks you this, always just giving you everything he can give or what you can take. You go for a small number, not wanting to seem excessively needy.
"Maybe two times? Please?" Your voice sounds meek. Like you're asking him for the impossible.
Satoru just chuckles. "How 'bout we triple that number?"
"S-Satoru—fuck— just like that, like that!" Your head pushes back against the pillow, your hands beside your head, scrunching up the sheets.
This was the fourth orgasm. There was cum spotted over your inner thighs and sweat layered over both your bodies. He had driven you to insanity like he planned.
"More, baby?" He grunts, thrusting with his continuous pace.
"Please," you cry out, fresh tears welling in your eyes again.
Satoru loved watching the tears stream down your face because he got to lean down and kiss them away. He takes the opportunity to praise you— to tell you how good you're being for him.
Your back arched and you braced yourself for the intensity of your next orgasm. Satoru swallowed your moans, kissing you fervently through his own rush. His breathing stuttered when he felt your nails clawing at his back, and once again his cum spurted into you. His breathing was heavy through the nose due to his insistence of kissing you until he you patted him for air.
"Fuck," you muttered. You let out an out of breath laugh, your chest rising and falling quickly as you tried to even out your breathing.
"That's five, baby." He exhales sharply, leaning back and running a hand through his dampened locks. You look at him with twinkling eyes, a smirk being thrown in your direction from your admiration.
"Come here," you say, outstretching your arms towards him. Satoru immediately fills the vacancy, sighing when you rake your nails against the nape of his neck. "Want you to take your time with this last one."
He takes that as a green light to start up again. He guides his cock into you again, savoring the hum that leaves you when he stuffs you again and begins his slow rhythm.
"'toru?" Your voice sounded sultry to his ears.
"Hm?"
"This won't happen again. I hope you know that." You're trying your hardest not laugh or make any sounds that take from the meaning of what you're saying.
He had to raise his head to meet your gaze. Something in the way he looked at you made you believe that this would definitely happen again.
"I hope it does. I love having you under me."
"It's inconvenient. It's so late, 'toru. Why can't we fuck when i'm not trying to sleep? Like in the daytime, or earlier in the night?"
His lips trace your jawline, and you just know he's going for your neck. Satoru lives for pointing out the marks he left on you, the day after.
"Simple," he hums. "I want you to myself." His hips continue to rock into you at the same languid pace. "At night, nobody is gonna take you from me. You won't be distracted and I get all your attention to myself." He kisses your neck. "You're all mine at night. Nobody expects you to be awake."
You gasp when he hits a spot that aches deliciously.
"Come on, baby. Give it to me," he murmurs into your neck. You can feel the way his back ripples as he instinctively picks up the pace. He was overwhelming, thrusting deeper and deeper like he was trying to consume you. What was supposed to be a slow drive towards your final orgasm of the night, turned into him unapologetically using his stamina to lure everything he could out of you. He was almost too much with the way his mouth was ruthless towards your neck and the bruising grip he kept on your hips. You were rendered the smallest thing for him.
"Satoru," you moaned, mindlessly grabbing onto his shoulder blades.
"I know, sweetheart, I know." He kisses you, tenderly, heavily contrasting the savage speed of thrusts.
You whimpered into the lip lock. Your heels dug into the mattress and your toes curled from the intensity of the pleasure you felt. Your breathing became heavier but Satoru refused to unlink his lips from yours. He couldn't when the sounds you made tasted like heaven on his tongue. His own sounds mingled with yours, a harmony that let you know that you weren't the only one feeling good. He was rutting into you, a telltale sign that he was about to cum.
"Mmm..." he hums, before unlatching his lips from yours. He panted as he watched you unravel beneath him, the smallest pinch between your brows as you gushed on him again. The way your walls spasmed around him had him following right after, another load painting your walls.
He grinned at you devilishly, the expression followed by a bright and sunny, airy chuckle. He pulls out of you, and looks down to watch your combined fluids slowly ooze out of you.
"Damn, you really tried putting a baby in me." You sigh, heavily, immediately regaining his attention. "Why do we fuck like this every time?" You rub your eyes, your sleepiness coming back around.
"I'll get one in there someday." He rubs his palm over your stomach. "And also, it's always like that because I love the face you make when you cum and you love the process of giving me that sight." His eye conveyed a seductiveness to their expression that kept you in check.
Your face goes red, warm to the touch. "Shut up." You sit up and playfully shove him.
"I get to cover you in semipermanent kisses, too." His hand comes up to the side of your neck and his fingers trace the red smudges that will darken over time. You roll your eyes, yet still put your hand over his, bringing it to your lips to press a kiss to his knuckles.
"We should shower. It's almost five in the morning." You ignore the mischievous glint in his eyes and the way he's obviously trying to suppress a boyish grin.
"Carry me, please?"
Satoru chuckles, knowing exactly why you want him to carry you.
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sleptting · 1 year ago
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felt silly
#tw vent#tw rap3#tw sa mention#tw abuse mention#hey guys! can you tell im so mentally unwell and i need attention so badly yet i fear that youll all fine me annoying#no matter how much you say its ok to vent and i say ok yet i still dont ask for help#to the point you all get annoyed and leave me be cause i dont listen at all!!!#im begging to have a happy relationship with all my lovely mutuals but also trying not force them#into this chaotic mess that i made because im more of an outcast than everyone here!#everyone has this one thing where they can all be together yet i still cant maintain a long relationship!!#either platonic or romantic here i mess everything up!!!!!#but i cant really just act sad as fuck because#ive crafted this fake facade of a happy cheerful person that is perfect to everyone#forcing myself to make myself perfect to everyone so i can be loved equally too!!!#i must always maintain this mask to force myself into thinking im actually happy!!!#yet i can barely feel the muscles on my face#i cant feel my frowns my smiles my whatever i just feel so numb and dull#ive forced myself into an unescapable hell hole but i dont want to leave because i love everyone#but i dont think i can pretend in being the perfect person to different people#because it will cause conflict and i have to lie and stuff so everyone loves me#and its so fucking horrible i want love and attention like im a pick me just someone whos#annoying and always begs for attention and affection#at the same time im so emotionless and i need those two things to fill the emptiness#yet im not perfect enough and i become a burden and that emptiness deepens
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hadersversion · 4 months ago
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I. i can fix him (no really i can)
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“he had a halo of the highest grade, he just hadn’t met me yet.”
pairing: rafe cameron x innocent pogue! reader
word count: 1.9k
warnings: 18+ minors dni!! language, soft rafe cameron because my boy just needs some love, slow burn!!
mood board!
“hey,” i said, nudging him with my foot. “hey, rafe, i think it’s time for you to get up.”
i look down at the boy who was passed out on the ground of the beach. his shaved head covered in sand as beer bottles surrounded him. his eyes fluttered open at me, staring at me. “w-where the hell am i?” he said, slowly sitting up.
“the beach, it’s 6:30 in the morning.” i sigh, looking at my watch. “i assume you were at a party here last night and got ditched on the beach by your friends.”
i watched as he looked around the empty beach and groaned, covering his face with his hands and yawning. “fuck.” he mumbled to himself. he ran his hands down once before looking back at me. “thanks, for uh-….”
i laugh to myself. “making sure you were alive? don’t mention it.”
he nods with a smirk. “yeah, that.” we stay there in silence. “i’m sorry, w-what’s your name again? i recognize you from your friends i just…”
“y/n y/l/n.” i nod at him.
“y/n y/l/n.” he repeats back at me, not once breaking eye contact with me.
i feel my face heat up, not knowing what i’m feeling in this exact moment. this is rafe fucking cameron, kook prince and sworn enemy to my friends. he’s not a good person. i know who he is and i should hate him, but when his eyes pierce through me like that…like he knows all my secrets….that’s when i start to question reality. “well, i should get going.” i say, pointing awkwardly to the beach.
“it’s 6:30 in the morning, where could you possibly be going?” he asks, pushing his knees up and resting his arms on them.
i sigh and look around, feeling like i’m in the hot seat. “uh…it’s uh…it’s dumb, you wouldn’t wanna know.” i try to dismiss him.
“no, i wanna know, tell me.” he says, sternly.
i bite my lip and sigh. “towatchthedolphins.” i say in a fast whisper.
“what was that?” he asks with a cocky smile, making me blush. “i couldn’t hear ya, could ya speak up?”
“i’m watching the dolphins!” i say more clearer, looking down at him. “i’ve been waking up early and watching the dolphins. this is like their prime time, so i like to sit and watch them while i have my breakfast.” i admit to him.
i wait there, expecting him to laugh or do something heinous that rafe cameron would do to a pogue. but he doesn’t. he just nods. “cool, i didn’t know that was like a thing.”
did i take one of kie’s edibles this morning by accident? did i actually never wake up to my alarm and i’m still tucked away in bed? or did rafe cameron just have a super normal reaction to something i said to him?
“yeah, right now is the best season for it.” i inform him with a shy smile on my face.
he continues to stare at me with those fucking perfect blue eyes. he rakes over my body once and stands up. did he just check me out? “well, y/n, enjoy those dolphins. i should probably get home before my dad has a bitch fit. thanks again.” he waves goodbye to me before staggering away towards the exit of the beach. my body lets out a breathe that i didn’t even know i was holding and i start to feel tingly inside.
what the fuck just happened?
───✱*.。:。✱*.:。✧*.。✰*.:。✧*.。:。*.。✱ ───
after that, i seem to find rafe cameron everywhere. as i ride my bike to work, go to the beach, hang out with the pogues. he’s clouded up my brain and i have no idea what to do. it’s not like i can tell anyone, i’d be marked with a scarlet T for traitor. but my thoughts can’t stop themself from being infiltrated by him.
“yo, y/n, everything cool?” jj asks me, sipping from his beer.
he snaps me from my rafe cameron brain rot, taking me by surprise. “yeah, everything’s alright. sorry, just a little tired.”
a whole group of us hang out by the beach at the boneyard, the usual pogues, some kooks who we invited in to fuck with, and the vacationers. everything was going alright, until i saw him.
“ain’t no fuckin way.” i hear jj spit.
rafe and his friends stroll up to the party, with a few girls scattered around them. i feel my face goes hot as my friends spit their remarks about him.
“what makes this douchebag think it’s okay to just show up here?” i hear kiara say.
“i don’t know but i don’t like it.” john b adds in.
my eyes can’t seem to leave his figure. he looks just as handsome as i remember from the beach. i know i am staring but i just cannot seem to care. but my brain short wires when he looks up, meeting my gaze with a cocky smirk. shit.
i feel my face get darker as i quickly avert my gaze down to my feet. "uh, i'm gonna get a beer. anyone want one?" but before my friends can even answer my question, i quickly make my way over to the coolers. once i know i am out of their sight, i take a well needed deep breathe and try to ground myself. my brain feels fuzzy with thoughts of rafe cameron but i have to push them down.
i bend over to grab a beer from the cooler when i hear a familiar voice behind me. "mind if i grab one?" i quickly turn my head to see rafe, staring into his blue eyes like they were the goddamn eighth wonder of the world.
he's so close yet so far away, i can smell the expensive cologne he has on. my brain gets off of autopilot and screams at me to put space between us, which i attempt to do. but before i can think, i'm tripping over my own feet, almost falling back. but i feel rafe's large hand quickly land on my lower back, saving me from the tumble.
"woah, there, did you already have that much to drink?" he jokes.
i stare at him, my face probably matching the color of a budweiser can. "i...uh...i..um..." i feel myself babbling on, unable to form a single thought as he has his hands on my body. "s-sorry about that. but i...i've only had one beer, i'm just a total klutz sometimes i swear."
he keeps his hand on my back, i can feel him slightly rubbing it, sending goosebumps all over my body. he keeps looking into my eyes, which seems to be his favorite hobby at this point. "well, i'm glad i caught ya." we stand there in silence for what feels like an eternity, until i remember where i am. who i am here with.
my friends.
i frantically look around, making sure they aren't looking at me dying under rafe’s touch. i pull away from him quickly.
"don't worry they aren't looking." he reassures, grabbing my beer and opening it for me. "i assume it's your friends you are looking for." he hands me back the cold beverage, our fingers brushing against each other.
i quickly snap my hand back and look up at him, he has a small smile on his face as he looks down at me. "sorry, but, i mean...you understand, right? my friends don't like you, you don't like them. if they see me talking over here with you...it'll be a whole thing."
"i didn't peg you as someone who cares about what other people thought about them. i don't know, i mean you did admit to me very easily your love for dolphin watching." he smirks as he grabs a can of beer and opens it. "just saying."
i want to hide away forever. "p-please don't mention that to anyone else. please." i beg with an awkward smile.
"i won't, i won't. don't get so freaked out." he takes a long sip of beer. "it's kinda cute." he says so nonchalantly.
did he just call me cute?
this is a prank, this is merely a big joke to him. it has to be.
i can tell i took too long to process what he just said because he nudges me lightly with his elbow. "did i lose you there?"
i shake my head and laugh. "sorry, i'm all good." we stand there, sipping our beers in silence. "why are you here?" i ask with no hesitation, which earns me a wide-eye reaction from rafe. "that was rude but...like for real, why? you never come to pogue parties. i thought we were too beneath you to ever join us."
"i mean, you have a point." he looks down at me with a smirk, which makes me flip him off. he chuckles at me and sips his beer. "honesty?"
"please." i say.
he sighs and looks around. "i'm here to see you."
i choke on the sip of beer i'm taking, too shocked at what he just told me. i watch as he steps forward in concern and tries to put his hand on my back, but i move away quickly. i cough agressively before turning to him. "i-i'm sorry, what?" i almost laugh in his face.
"i'm pretty sure you heard me, y/n. i'm here for you." he admits.
i stare at him, waiting for him to laugh, admit that it was a joke, or even a ploy to mess with the pogues like some kind of goddamn trojan horse. "you're serious?"
"i think you would know if i'm lying." he shrugs.
i stand there, unable to wrap my head around what he just said to me. "you're so full of shit." i blurt out.
he just laughs. "am i now?"
"you're here to see me? the girl whose name you couldn't even remember a few days ago?" i cock my eyebrow at him.
"is it so horrible to believe?" he questions. i look at him, trying to tell if this is real or fake. he waves his hand in front of my face. "i lost you there again."
"i'm sorry, it's just...i'm me...and you're you. we exist on totally different planets...universes." i tell him.
"yet here we are, right next to each other on planet earth." he says.
he got me there.
"y/n!?" i hear kiara yell.
rafe turns his head to the voice calling my name and then back to me. "that's your cue to leave, i think."
i cannot turn away from him, too dumbfounded about the past 5-minute conversation we just had. "you're not slick." i say, starting to walk away backwards so i'm facing him.
"i didn't think i was being slick!" he says, with his hands up in his defence.
"i see through you and your lies, rafe cameron! i really do!" i yell at him as i get further away.
"yeah, i'd like to see you try, y/n y/l/n!" he shouts back, smiling at me.
i crack a smile back to him and flip him off before walking into the crowd, looking for kiara.
she comes up and puts her shoulder around me. "you all good? was he bothering you?" she asks, looking back to where rafe and i were.
i follow her gaze and see rafe still standing there with that same look on his face. "no, he wasn't. i'm all good, i swear." i say honestly. "just having a small talk."
"with the kook prince? no one ever just has a 'small talk' with rafe cameron, y/n." she says, squeezing me tighter.
"well i guess i'm the first person to ever do so." i shrug and continue to walk back towards the boys, trying to hide the stupid smile rafe cameron put on my face.
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ghoulphile · 7 months ago
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janey's dad | c.h./the ghoul | part 01
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➥ pairing | cooper howard/the ghoul x f!reader ➥ word count | 3.7k ➥ warning(s) | 🔞 smut; age gap, hair pulling, teasing, making out, mutual pining, lipstick kink, stockings, frottage, porn w/ feelings, porn w/ plot, mild angst w/ happy ending, divorced!coop, babysitter!reader, pre-war/bomb ➥ summary | “We really, uh, shouldn’t - oh fuck, you look --” ➥ notes | i'm so sorry this is later than it should be. i am unfortunately a corporate slave and this fic just did not want to cooperate 🫠 there are a lot more things planned and this fic is turning into a bit of a beast (20+ pages and counting rip lmao) so i've decided to split it into two parts to make it more manageable for myself mostly un-beta'd atm a special thanks to @corinthianism for all her lovely help ❤️!!
feel free to send in thots, questions, requests! | masterlist
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Divorce is hard, but being a divorcé is downright hellish.
One of the ugliest things in the world, if Cooper Howard has any say. At least when he was a Marine, they told him where to point his gun, where to aim; nameless threats vanishing with a quick squeeze of the trigger.
Here, these ‘enemies’ aren’t enemies — not really.
It’d be easier if they were.
Worse still, they have names he holds as dearly as his own. There’s Barb, whip smart and always so clever. Then Janey, the light of his life and so sweet his teeth ache.
Once upon a time, life was sweeter than apple pie on Sundays.
Then came the separation.
Afterwards, he finds it hard to look at what’s left of his family without losing breath like a horse kick to the chest. Their absence rips open a hole inside him ten miles wide, its edges jagged and wrong.
And when he can’t take the silence anymore, fingers of malt liquor help dull the ache, though it’ll never be enough to mend what’s broken.
See, war’s something he understands.
But these domestic battlefields where he sits across from his ex-wife while lawyers barter this weekend and that holiday?
How he struggles to meet his daughter’s eye every time she asks if he’s coming home?
When Barb keeps the house and the money while he keeps the scrapbooks and the dog?
He doesn’t — can't — refuses to comprehend.
Because in what world can you reconcile looking down the barrel of a smoking gun only to find the woman you love staring back, finger on the trigger? Left out to hang as Vault-Tec orchestrates his downfall.
The true depth of their involvement is unknown, but it’s no coincidence his bank accounts dried up faster than the Mojave in June. The ink still wet when the media snapped up the story of his failed marriage.
Thus, his reputation (rather what’s left of it) unraveled faster than a spool of thread.
Knocked on his ass and kept there by a boot heel crushing his windpipe. Whose? He hasn’t got a fucking clue.
But whoever they are, they’re making sure he stays a washed up nobody who struggles to land a call back, much less pay his monthly alimony on time.
See what we can do? You were America’s favorite gunslinger - now look at you. Mind your place.
Hell, millions used to scream his name.
Nowadays people whisper it behind their hands like a dirty secret, “Oh, did you hear? Cooper Howard…” as they dissect pieces of his life into bite-sized Before’s and After’s. “Hah! Serves him right. Y’know, I never liked him much.”
While he grits his teeth and swallows his bitterness with a smile, he hates how he can’t protect Janey from snide reporters and nosy strangers. Juggling actor-father-divorcé with fumbling hands.
It’s only been six months; a heartbeat, a lifetime, and already he’s scraped thin like butter over too much bread.
Something’s gotta give.
After all, he’s only one man.
But just when it's bleakest, the clouds part.
A young woman moves in next door, the first bright thing that’s come his way in a long, long while.
At first, he kept his distance.
Exchanged vague hello’s and how-are-you’s. Then Janey took a shine; always so friendly and eager to talk about her latest books.
Any reservations he might’ve had died when he saw how enamored you are with her.
Only made sense that over time small pleasantries turned into playdates. Then those playdates turned into sleepovers.
Before long, you’re watching her when a gig runs late.
Rustling up grub and tucking her into bed more often than not these days. And when he slinks in through the door, knees aching and stripped to the bone, there you are with a shy smile and a warm meal.
So what if he takes himself in hand after you leave, stroking his cock to the thought of you down on your knees in that pretty little sundress?
Imagines the wide stretch of your ruby lips as you swallow him down, lipstick smeared an awful mess?
Cums hard to the fantasy of your teary eyes and hiccupy breaths as you choke?
What you don’t know can’t hurt you.
After all, he’s a gentleman... he promises to keep his hands to himself.
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“All right, Sugar Bomb, it’s bedtime.”
Bundled in navy bedding up to her nose, Janey’s wide brown eyes peer up at you from beneath a riot of frizzy curls. Roosevelt, her ever faithful companion, plasters himself to her side. The tip of his tail swishes once, twice before falling limp.
“Ah, c’mon guys. Don’t look at me like that.” You sigh with a fond shake of the head, hip popping out to rest against the doorframe. “I don’t make the rules, I just follow ‘em.”
A muffled response sounds from the lump of little girl, “Nmfhm.”
Squinting, you dip your head and tap the side of your ear, "Pardon?"
“Mnhfmmmm.”
“Ye—eah… Didn’t catch that, Mumbler.”
Janey tugs down the blanket, her mouth pursed in a moue of displeasure. “I said,” she crosses her arms with a huff, “not until Dad gets home.”
Shit.
“M’sorry, baby. He’s still gonna be a while.” Walking across the room, you stop beside the bed and motion your hand back and forth. “Scooch over.”
Gangly limbs fumble as Janey wiggles into the middle of the mattress, her feet tangling in the blankets. Roosevelt takes a toe to the nose during the transition, but flops across her knees all the same.
Together they settle with a bounce of springs.
In the open space, you slide in.
The bed sinks under your weight, a plume of rich cologne tickling your nose; mint-spiced citrus. Cooper. Your stomach swoops, and your heart trips.
“I didn’t see him at breakfast — or lunch!” A pout tugs at her mouth. “Not even dinner. I gotta go home tomorrow. So when am I gonna see him?”
“Oh, bug.” You sigh, propping yourself up on your elbow. “Your dad’s been real busy at work. And I know that’s been hard for you, but I promise to make sure he’s here for breakfast tomorrow.”
“D’you mean it?” Her cold nose digs into your skin. “Me and Roosevelt miss him so much.”
Cuddled into your chest, Janey tosses an arm around your back. Her fuzzy head rests in the crook of your arm, springy curls tickling your skin.
You squeeze her tight and trace your fingertips over her forehead.
“I can do you one better,” you say, bopping the tip of her nose just to hear her giggle - a soft sound that sits warm and gooey in your chest. “I pinkie-promise.”
Her finger loops around yours, so small and fragile.
“I’ll even make pancakes. How’s that sound for a promise?”
“Oh, yes, please! I think Dad will like that,” a wide yawn cuts her off mid-sentence. “He’s sad, but he always smiles when you make food.”
Janey’s words — unexpected as they are sudden — cut so deep it steals the breath from your lungs. You flounder, your heart a throbbing bruise in your chest.
“... Then pancakes it is.”
As if nothing happened at all, she asks, “Do I have to go to bed now?”
“Afraid so, little miss.” Your responding chuckle sounds stilted even to your own ears. “Just you wait. When you wake up, Dad’ll be home.”
“Fi—ine, but I want extra pancakes.” Janey pauses, considers you with narrow eyes, then adds, “With syrup!”
“Whatever you want,” you say with an indulgent smile. “Now... time to sleep. It’s really past your bedtime.”
She gives you one last squeeze then lets you tuck her in nice and tight, blankets pulled up to her chin. You drop a kiss on her forehead while Roosevelt re-settles on the pillow beside her after a quick scratch behind the ears. 
Everything in order, you turn to go only for a little hand to stop you.
“Yes?” you reply, glancing at her from over your shoulder.
“... can you put on one of Dad's movies?”
The tremble in her voice - like she’s about to get scolded - breaks your heart clean down the middle. Stitching on a soft smile, you nod and walk to the darkened TV set in the room's corner.
After fiddling with the nobs, static flashes to life.
“The Man from Deadhorse okay?”
The holotape sliding into the track swallows the sound of her tiny “Yeah.” Starting up with a whirl of machinery, the second-hand Radiation King flickers to life in black-and-white.
A vast plain and bright sky stretches across the screen.
Then Sugarfoot creeps into frame with the one and only Cooper Howard sitting astride the noble steed. The sheriff’s badge on his chest glints in the sun.
“Thank you,” she mumbles, already half-way to sleep.
“Anything for you, baby. Sleep tight.”
Flicking off the lights, you leave the door cracked. Walk away pretending like hearing her whisper goodnight to the TV doesn’t lance through you like lightning.
The desire to whisk her into your arms and soothe all of her ails is almost impossible to ignore.
Somehow, you distract yourself by wiping up the table, then by fixing a plate of dinner for whenever Cooper rolls in. Though all the while, how brokenhearted Janey sounded sits in the back of your mind like a leaden weight.
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When Cooper stumbles into the living room, it’s half past midnight.
You’d gotten up to greet him, curled as you were in an armchair reading, when something about the stern line of his mouth gave you pause.
Where the usual lighthearted greetings lingered, a pensive stillness trembled to life.
Tension crackles through the air; a held breath of agitation. By the faraway gaze and defeated slump of his broad shoulders, it’s plain to see the night didn’t go as intended. And no matter how much you long to soothe, you can’t.
After all, he’s not yours to touch.
Instead, you offer a sympathetic smile and ask, “Rough night, huh?”
Cooper ignores the prompt, squeezing past with a brief touch to your elbow as he makes a beeline for the dry bar. The heat of his body is there and gone in a flash, his cologne teasing your senses. He says, “Thought you’d be asleep by now.”
Your heart flutters in your throat. “Ah,” you lick your lips, “well, I was going to finish my chapter first.”
Humming, he turns his back to you and fiddles with high balls and decanters. The tink of crystal glassware fills the air as he speculates which alcohol goes best with his mood. 
“Thanks again for watching Janey.” He nods in approval and fixes his whiskey neat. “I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
“Oh, it’s no trouble, Mr. Howard.” You shrug. “She’s a sweetheart.”
He shoots you a dry look from over his shoulder, stirring the dark amber of his drink with a forefinger. When he sucks his skin clean with a soft pop - a flash of a pink tongue taunting, teasing - your stomach swoops.
God, I wonder what else his mouth can do.
Flustered, you clear your throat and stare at a spot on the wall.
“How many times do I gotta tell you to call me Coop?” he says, digging through some drawers until he finds what he’s searching for: a lighter. “It must be a million and one by now.”
Flint sparks as flames jump, eating away at the end of a cigarette. Cooper inhales in short little puffs, pulling on the filter. His cheeks hollow, the shadows enhancing the cut of his jaw before the tip catches alight.
“Well,” he exhales, his gaze catching yours through a plume of smoke as he turns, brow raised. “Anything to say for yourself?”
“Old habits die hard, I guess,” you chuckle.
The corner of his mouth lifts in a lopsided smirk. “I’ll drink to that.” He knocks back the last finger of whiskey before refilling with gin.
Springs groan in protest when he drops to the couch, settling in with an outstretched arm and wide spread thighs.
“It’s been a long fucking day,” he rasps.
Gulping, you try to ignore the space at his feet.
The stirrings of desire provoked by the urge to sink to your knees and fill it with your body, to ease tension from those shoulders with your hands, your mouth, your cunt — if he’d let you.
“You heading home?” Nursing the fresh drink, he swallows a mouthful, only to hiss low through his teeth at the chemical burn. His throat bobs, framed by the open collar of his shirt. “Whew! Goddamn, that’s strong.”
“No, I can stay for a while.” A bird on a wire, you perch on the cushion beside him. “Got nothing else planned for tonight, anyhow.”
Cooper snorts. “I doubt that very much. A sweet young thing like you,” he motions towards you with his glass, “I’m sure you’ve got plenty of fellas calling, especially on a Friday night. Don’t waste your time with me.”
“That’s not why I--” you stop yourself short.
Save for the bustling LA avenue right outside the complex, the apartment itself is stone silent for several heartbeats. Words hover on the back of your tongue, catching in the bend of your throat molasses thick.
Meanwhile, Cooper continues to swirl the alcohol in his glass.
Maybe in a different life, you wouldn’t hesitate to express yourself.
But here — with him — you shouldn’t.
Christ sake, he’s a grieving divorcé, you chastise yourself. The last thing he needs is me trying to lay one on him.
When you speak, his name glides off your lips for the first time, clementine sweet, “... Cooper, I’m not wasting my time. I enjoy spending it with Janey - and you.”
“Well,” he husks, hooded eyes dragging down your visage in a slow once-over, “you’re the first one in a long while to feel that way, sweetheart.”
Dripping like honey whiskey from Cooper’s lips, the simple phrase burns its way down-down-down until it blooms like liquid fire in your belly. Warms you all the way to your toes as your heart pounds against your ribcage.
“I mean it.” Your knuckles twist in the pleats of your sundress, bolts of blue fabric bunched around your knees. “Everything I do is because I want to.”
The flash of red nails plucking at the sheer nylon of your stockings snaps up his attention, his gaze snagging - staying as he chases the curve of your exposed leg, hungry.
He wets his lips, and tenses his jaw when he spots how the soft fat of your thigh dimples in because of your garter. “That’s awful sweet of you to say.”
You tremble beneath the intensity of his attention.
Greedy.
Little kisses of awareness spark bright along the path his eyes carve like the caress of shy fingertips.
However, before you’re able to confront him about his interest, the heat leaches from his expression, grows mute and cold like a muzzled dog. 
Readjusting the waistband of his slacks with a tug, he says, “I know you got better things to do than keep an old man company.”
Irritation sparks. “Cooper--”
“If this is about paying you for tonight,” his lips quirk into a sheepish smile, “I won’t be able to yet.” He scrubs a hand through the stubble peppered along his jaw. “The gig tonight didn’t… Well, it doesn’t matter.”
“No, that’s not what I --”
He plows on, “Anyway, the one I’ve got tomorrow should be enough. How about I stop by around seven o’clock? I’ll treat you to dinner as an apology.”
Frustration bubbles beneath the surface of your skin, antagonism thrumming through your veins. Your hands shake almost as much as your voice. “Cooper!”
“I… uh, yes?” He blinks.
Your brows furrow. “You don’t get it,” you say. “I mean, you truly don’t know?”
“I’m afraid there’s a lot I don’t get. You’re gonna have to be more particular.”
Maybe not said in so many words (or at all) but actions speak far louder.
Otherwise, why else would you spend most of your time in his apartment, fill every spare moment with Janey, and reserve evenings for his company?
Hell, you even cook and clean!
Almost scream your interest from the rooftops, and it’s obvious to everyone but him, it seems.
Here you are thinking he was preserving your dignity whenever he ignored a passing comment or lingering touch when, in fact, he’d been oblivious to their existence to begin with.
How a man can be so obtuse when you’re throwing yourself at him is beyond you.
If he wasn’t so captivating…
“Are you kidding me,” you ask, mindful of your tone, “how could you not know?” You throw your hands in the air. “I’ve been — for months!”
“Well, I don’t have a goddamn clue what you’re talking about, sweetheart,” he snarks, setting his glass on the table. “Care to enlighten me?”
Fine. If that’s how he wants to play, let’s play.
When he moves to take another drag from his cigarette, you strike, fingers locking around his wrist mid-lift. And although his glassy eyes narrow, he keeps his hand still.
Waiting to see what you'll do.
Tucking your knee under you for balance, you bend forward and watch his face from beneath your lashes. When your lips wrap around the filter, a dark hunger bleeds into his expression, his pulse a steady thud against the pad of your thumb.
Inhaling, the cherry lights up, a flashbang in the dim overhead light.
Cooper’s breath hitches, and then you’re pulling away with a lungful of smoke; the taste of ash heavy on your tongue.
He tracks your movements with greed, gaze flicking for the briefest of moments past your chin before refocusing on the ring of red lipstick staining white paper.
“If you wanted one,” he chokes, gripping the back of the couch with white knuckles, “all you had to do was ask.”
With a coquettish grin, you exhale to the side and stare at him with hooded eyes. “Is that so?” Plucking the cigarette out of his limp hold, you stub it out in the ashtray. “What if I wanted to ask for something else, Mr. Howard?”
The next moment finds you deposited in his lap, his hands shooting out to grab at your waist only to freeze before they make contact.
“Woah! I--”
“Tell me something.”
Your lips caress the shell of his ear, sharing breath - sharing space as you plaster yourself to his front, arms looped over his shoulders. He jolts, body trembling with restraint.
“Would you give me what I wanted if I said please?”
The distance between you snaps taut with anticipation. “C-Coop,” he stutters. “Call me Coop.”
You hum. “Well, Coop, would you?”
“That depends almost entirely on what you’re asking for, sweetheart.”
Red nails skate along the back of his neck, play in the downy soft hair of his nape just to feel him shiver. And then you’re leaning back with your hands braced on his knees, your legs falling open in invitation.
The hem of your dress bunches around your waist, exposing the soft cotton of your underwear, and the darkened patch of slick soaking through.
“I think you know exactly what I want,” you purr. “Because you want it too. Don’t you?”
He bites down on a strangled moan when your hips arch forward, rocking the soft plush of your ass against the heavy weight of his thickening cock. The zipper digs into your skin as he tents the front of his slacks.
Mouth dropping open, his tongue flicks out to wet his lips - a slick circle of temptation that makes you clench. “I, uh, I don’t…”
Reaching between your splayed thighs, you hook a finger beneath your panties and pull the fabric aside. He jerks forward, exhaling hard at the flash of your soaked cunt and twitching clit.
“C’mon, be honest.”
With a sigh, you gather your arousal on the tips of your fingers.
Cooper’s gaze is a heavy weight pinning you in place as you pretend it’s him dragging his knuckles over the top of your mond. Him dragging calloused fingers up along sticky folds to play with your sensitive clit, ripping soft little mewls from your lips.
“Can’t you see what you do to me, Coop?” you say, pulling your hand away to show the webs of slick stretching between your fingers. “I’m so wet. Please, I’ve wanted you for so long…”
His hips rock against your ass in an aborted thrust. “Shit - shit!” Eyes slamming shut, he grits his teeth and digs his fingers into your sides hard enough to bruise. “We really, uh, shouldn’t - oh fuck, you look --”
“Why not?” Your hand brushes over his groin. “I can feel how hard you are.”
“It isn’t right, that’s why.” He stutters, stumbles over his words, “Besides, Janey…”
“I can be quiet,” you say, lips trembling. “I promise.”
“Goddamnit, you can’t say things like that and expect me not to --” Cutting himself off, strong fingers seize your chin and tilt until you’re met with Cooper’s severe expression, his scorching gaze. “You need to tell me now: are you sure this is what you want?”
There’s no hesitation, “Yes.”
In what world would you refuse?
The words barely pass your lips before Cooper’s bowing his dark head, mouth ravenous as it captures yours in a slick glide of bruising lips and hungry tongues.
He steals your breath, licks into your mouth and traces along the sensitive inside of your lip.
Pulse jump starting, your toes curl over the edge of the cushion and your thighs squeeze the barrel of his chest, kneecaps digging into his ribs.
“Oh,” a moan punches itself out of your throat - a breathy little thing swallowed up by his lips. “That’s--”
Anticipation swells, simmers between you like a band before it snaps. A strong forearm locks around your waist, tugging you into the cradle of his chest until you’re plastered from stem to stern.
Too hungry for tenderness as his free hand slips up to cup the back of your head, fingers catching in the briar of your hair and tugging at the roots.
You claw at his shoulders while sparks of pain ricochet down your neck, sufficing into a prickly flush that heats your blood. “Hnn, Cooper,” you gasp.
He murmurs your name through languid flicks of his tongue and sharp little nips of skin that leave your mouth tender and swollen. When he pulls away to survey his handiwork, his eyes are dark. Fathomless.
"I never thought I'd get the chance to kiss you like this," he says, wicking his thumb over the pillow of your bottom lip. "You taste as good as I imagined."
Dragging your nails across his scalp, you plead, “No more teasing - I can't take it.”
"Well," he grunts, fingers twisting up in your dress, “If that’s how you feel, then you better put those hips to good use and work for it, sweetheart."
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part 2 dropping soon
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fastandcarlos · 3 months ago
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Engaged, When? : ̗̀➛ Charles LeClerc
summary: with all your friends settling down around you, you can't help but feel like you and charles are slipping away from everyone else
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After what could only be described as the day from hell, the last thing you wanted to do was go out to a celebration. But that was exactly where you found yourself. Carlos’ and Rebecca’s apartment was bustling with people, noise and lots of excitement for the newly engaged couple. 
Whilst many others wore wild smiles on their faces, your expression couldn’t have been more different. All you wanted to do was go home and rest, but Charles refused to go to the party without you, ignoring your protests and encouraging you to show your face and happiness for the pair. 
It wasn’t that you weren’t happy for them, because you were, if anything, you were disappointed for yourself. Whilst Charles mingled and made sure to say hello to as many people as possible, you preferred to hang back and blend in, simply doing enough to try and make it seem like you were enjoying yourself. 
If there was one person that you weren’t convincing though, it was Charles. Out of the corner of his eye he could see you looking far from impressed, you might be able to deceive most people, but not Charles. Through the dances and the chatter, he made his way over to you, with many of his bosses around, he still felt the need to impress. 
Your body tensed up as Charles came and stood beside you, “I know you’re tired but at least try and look like you want to be here, we’re supposed to be celebrating our friends right now.” 
“It’s lovely, imagine falling in love and getting engaged so quickly,” you mumbled, taking a sip from your drink. Charles hummed as he walked off, not quite getting what you were saying. 
Just as Charles walked off, another figure appeared beside you. The smile on Pierre’s face was comforting for you as he nudged your side, wanting to make you smile too. 
“I know how you’re feeling,” Pierre sympathised as Kika appeared beside him. “We’ve talked about this enough times, but I promise you that he really does adore you.” 
It was easy for others to tell you, but truthfully, you were far from sure anymore. You and Charles had been together for almost a decade, and yet your relationship felt like it was stagnant these days. 
“How many more engagements do we have to celebrate?” You asked the two of them. “How many more times do I have to stand here wondering when it might be my turn?” 
“I’m sure Charles has got his reasons,” Pierre tried his best to reassure you, but even he was confused these days. “You have to trust me though, he is still madly in love with you, Charles wouldn’t still be with you if that wasn’t the case.” 
“Why can he not show me then?” You shrugged, “it’s not even about proposing anymore, it’s about doing anything to show me how he feels.” 
You knew the honeymoon phase was never going to last forever, but after ten years with Charles you hoped the next stage was going to arrive soon. If you were honest, you’d hoped it would’ve arrived by now, especially after watching so many of your friends get engaged and seemingly leapfrog the two of you. 
“I absolutely know he wants to marry you,” Kika added, offering you a warm smile. “It might not feel that way right now being here, but trust me, he does want to.” 
Your head nodded as you tried to use Kika’s words to convince yourself. “I’m glad you guys all feel that way, it would just be nice to feel that way myself. I’m supposed to be happy for Carlos and Rebecca, and instead I’m stood here wondering what about me?” 
As you felt yourself hit a wall of emotion, you excused yourself from the pair and walked off to get yourself another drink. Your shoulder brushed past Charles as you did so, going to say your name, but you were already gone. He looked to Charles and Kika, heading over to them for answers. 
“Why are you both looking at me like that?” Charles questioned, feeling like he was in for a scolding. 
“She’s really upset Charles, have you not noticed?” Pierre asked him. 
“Yeah, I know she’s a bit tired.” 
“It’s not just that.” 
“No?” Charles questioned in surprise. “You mean to say there’s more to this?” He quizzed them both. 
As Pierre nodded, Charles followed you to just outside of Carlos’ apartment and onto the balcony. You were resting on the railing as his figure appeared beside you, eyes watching you closely as you gave away nothing to let Charles know what was wrong. 
“Talk to me,” Charles whispered, his voice soft and calm, “what else is going on love?” 
Your body shifted so that you were facing Charles, “I’m supposed to be happy for these two, but if I’m honest, all I can feel right now is jealousy and frustration.” 
Charles’ brows furrowed as you spoke before the realisation hit him. A sigh escaped as he realised finally what it was that you had been hinting at, not just tonight, but for so many years as you celebrated others. 
“It’s stupid, I know, but I can’t help but feel like these days we’re being left behind. We’ve just stayed exactly where we are for years,” you confided in him. 
“We’ve always been so strong together, getting engaged, married, having kids, whatever it is it doesn’t define the two of us,” Charles spoke, draping his arms across your shoulders. “Maybe I’ve just become so comfortable that I never really thought about us taking that next step too.” 
You hated the fact that you allowed getting engaged to turn into some sort of competition for you, but your mind could think of nothing else. “I just feel like after ten years it should have happened, or at least to me it feels like it should have happened by now.” 
Charles took yet another step closer towards you. “I’ve thought about marrying you, more than you could ever imagine. I guess I’ve just never really felt like I’ve found the right time to.” 
“Is that right time ever going to come?” You asked, “I mean I always thought we’d be the first ones to settle, have a family, grow old together, but now we’re back of the pack.” 
“We can still do all of those things Y/N.” 
Your eyes looked desperately back at Charles, “then can you please start making me feel like they might be possible someday?” 
Hearing the frustration in your voice sent a shiver down Charles’ spine. He’d never considered how you felt about proposing, marriage and everything else that life threw at you. But now as he looked at you, he could see just how much it truly meant. 
“Am I the person you want to be with? Forever?” You quizzed, “do you really see your future with me Charles?” 
He took a tight hold of your hand, bringing your head towards him and kissing the top of it. “There’s no doubt in my mind that I see forever with you. And I promise all of those things will happen for us, but when the time is right for us.” 
“Thank you,” you whispered back across at him. “I just needed to hear that to reassure myself, with everything that’s been happening for our friends, I guess I just let the doubt begin to creep in.” 
Charles hummed, understanding exactly how you were feeling. He'd become so comfortable in your relationship he’d forgotten to think about how you were feeling. But as he felt you press a kiss against his cheek, he knew he couldn’t do that any longer. 
“Who knows, maybe it’ll be us that we’re all celebrating next time,” Charles joked. 
“I might just hold you to that LeClerc.” 
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
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lumibuns-blog · 1 month ago
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Ghost x Soap's roomie
Ghosts and Gaz stay the week and Soap's apartment. Ghost falls head over heels for you and can't seem to think of anything else.
its just two idiots in love at this point and also Soap and Gaz are there too lmao. I have more for this concept on my page or under the tag if you like it💪
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Dinner was finished quicker than Simon would have preferred considering he still couldn't get the image of your sly smile out of his head, not to mention the piece of food he was sure was stuck in his throat from the laughing fit you had sent him and Gaz into with your well timed nut-tap. You were intoxicating to him, it was almost insufferable how unable he was to get your voice, your face, your figure, everything, out of his head. He could swear that he's never felt this way before about anyone, ever. It was like the moment he set eyes on you, his mind had made itself up and all he could do was let himself fall even further and further in love with you.
So he now watched as you forced a very upset Soap to do the dishes, not without great effort.
"aw 'bon why tha' hell do I have'ta do this shite it's fuckin feechie" he whined
"'cause I do the cooking, that's the deal we have" you bit back "plus, I've cleaned our bathroom before" you turned to face both Simon and Kyle, Simon couldn't help but notice he was the one you locked eyes with "you wanna see nasty, use the shower when he's finished" you sighed
"oye! Not fair" Johnny warned, an accusing finger pointed towards you "you shed more than a hound when 'ure in there, ya clog the damn drain"
"excuse me! I clean up after myself at least, any hair you find in there is yours!" you yelled back, clearly embarrassed
"nae, ma' hair ain't long with split ends, er' whateva' the hell 'ure always moanin' 'bout in there"
you had half a mind to hit him across the face for that, "I don't know, hairs getting a little long there princess" you teased, gesturing to his grown out mohawk "need to get it trimmed? or you worried they might leave you looking bald again like last time?" you grinned
"awe no way!" Gaz grinned "you got pictures?" he ran over to you. Simon was curious too but didn't make a show of it, settling to sit back with his arms crossed instead, surveying the chaos.
"sure do" you beamed, ready to pull out your phone
"Naw naw!" Johnny scrambled to intercept his friend "nae happenin'"
you flung the phone behind you, out of his reach "then wash the fucking dishes man" you scoffed, shoving the sponge into his chest "thought they called you Soap for a reason?"
"feckin whatever" Johnny groaned, returning to the sink and flicking the tap on
you beamed and turned to head towards your room, calling out your dibs on the shower. Not before holding your phone up to Kyle and Simon, mouthing an 'I'll show you later' before slipping out of view.
"cheeky little mother fucker..." Soap mumbled, the half smile on his face turning into a look of disgust as he touched some wet food.
"so...." Gaz started after a moment "Never did decide where we 'going to be sleepin' mate?"
"well 've only got two beds" Johnny said, back turned to his friends "an' mine can only fit one a you's plus ma'self" he continued "an' like -ell I'm not going to sleepin on 'ma own bed while 'm home , so one ya will have-tae take the couch" he paused "unless the other one wants to bunk up with 'er" he laughed
Simon froze simply at the idea, suddenly incredibly uncomfortable in his slacks at the thought of being right up next to you while you rested. If you were closer would be be able to put his hands of you? trace the contours of your waist with his finger tips, burry his nose in the back of your head and wrap his hulking arms around your smaller figure? Feel the curve of your ass as you pressed against-
he bit the inside of his cheek and gripped the counter top so hard his knuckles turned white, "I'll take the couch" he huffed "'ure smaller anyway" he gestured to Kyle
"Whateva' mate" Gaz rolled his eyes, taking his friends jab in stride.
You had claimed dibs of the shower first because you were well aware that three, probably filthy, men (all of which had to be over 6 feet) were bound to need to use it as well and it would be pointless to try and wash your hair after that disaster.
"I'm done!" you called absentmindedly from the hallway, a towel wrapped around your body, wet hair sticking to your neck and back. Simon had found a very interesting part of the ceiling to focus on while you went back to your room, "try to not blow the thing up, I've got a down payment on this thing" you said, closing the door behind you.
silence fell over the room once again, as all three men glanced between themselves. Gaz was first, he took off at a run towards the bathroom door, determined to be second. Soap started off not more then a moment after him,
"aye ya prick, it's my house this?!" he grabbed for Gaz who held on steady to the door
"exactly mate! we're the guests!" Kyle chided "so be a good host 'an bugger off!"
"Nae 'm not lettin' you's skimp me outta a hot shower" Soap yelled attempting to pull Gaz back, but the man had such a a tight hold on the door he might've pulled out the hinges first.
you reopened the door after hearing the chaos, still in only a towel "the hell is-?" you were cut off almost immediately by ghost stepping in, he grabbed them both by the back collars of their shirts with what seemed like minimal effort, and pulled them off each other.
"Gaz you go first," he growled "Johnny, at least finish drying the bloody dishes before you go runnin' off" he shoved your roommate back into the kitchen
"Lt.! 's no fair he's goin' first! Why do you get to decide?" Soap griped
"on base 'er not, 'm still in charge." Simon said plainly, narrowing his eyes towards his friend, "just be lucky I'm the one yellin' at you for tusslin' around inside"
"In 'ma own home!" Johnny threw his hands up in defeat as Gaz pumped his fist before closing the bathroom door.
for a moment, your eyes met Simon's as you peaked from behind your door and they lingered there. His gaze was so was piercing as he glared from above his mask, that he had (unfortunately) put back in after dinner. His eyes only remained that way for a moment however, for as soon as they met yours, they softened. The harsh lines fell away instantly and his pupils began to dilate when they met yours, not aware you had been watching the whole ordeal.
'why did his eyes have to be so pretty?'
He coughed quickly, tearing his gaze from you before returning to the kitchen himself. Leaving you awe struck, fanning your face behind the closed door of your room.
When it was finally time for him to take a shower, Simon allowed himself a moment of respite in the bathroom before actually cleaning himself off. Away from Johnny's teasing glances and their incessant banter that he hated to admit he had come to be too fond of to reprimand them for, and they knew that all to well. Above all else though, it was a moment to internally process seeing you in nothing but a towel because when he had tried to think it over out there, the evidence of that was all too noticeable. You had looked so fucking good, wet hair, glossy skin, that towel that did absolutely nothing to cover up the swell of your tits as you pressed it to your chest. Even the simple fact that your cheeks still flushed from the heat of the shower sent his whole body into overdrive.
'shit- right, the shower.'
He broke from his thoughts to finally enter the shower but that did nothing to aid him in his situation. On the ledge was your shampoo and various other soaps, much like how your side of the sink was covered in various products and bottles he couldn't name even if he tried. Johnny's side had a toothbrush that was joined by Gaz's wash bag, and that was it. In the shower however, he only saw what were clearly your products. He grumbled and opened the door just a crack,
"Either 'a you got any shower gel?" He yelled through the crack, rather embarrassed at his current situation, "lef' mine at base."
"jus' use 'er's!" Johnny called back from his spot on the couch "'s what I do anyway..."
"You what?!" you yelled from across the flat
"dumbass" Kyle scoffed
"kidding, kidding!" Johnny laughed "Mines the one with the green lid mate, ya don' see it?"
"Fuckin hell...neva'mind!" Ghost responded, closing the door again. He swore he wasn't seeing straight. It didn't help that the whole bathroom already smelt like you, your intoxicating scent invading every breath he took. But to use your products? That was some shit couples do, and he had to stop his mind from getting away from him with that fantasy.
Stepping into the shower once more he located Johnny's soap. Spring rain?, no fucking wonder he hadn't noticed it, who would've thought Soap would use something like this? He quickly washed himself and got dressed, rubbing his hair dry with a towel as he exited the bathroom.
You stood in the kitchen, a large sweatshirt dwarfed your frame. You seemed to be waiting for the kettle of the stove to heat up as you noticed his presence.
"oh I can take that" you smiled, walking over to him and holding out your hand to take his towel from him.
He very reluctantly gave it to you, worried it would smell bad or have something gross on it he hadn't even realized. "was just about to start another lode anyway" you chimed, opening up the closet door and throwing it in the machine before starting it.
Simon couldn't help himself "Colors I'm assuming?" he joked
you whipped around to face him "Now don't you start" you scolded, but the smile and deep red of your cheeks was unmistakable, "Johnny's enough to deal with on his own" you headed back to your kettle
"'m sorry, I'll try to be less of a pain in the arse to ya than he is" Simon chuckled
"that's a low bar" you laughed dully "but thank you"
Simon found conversation to flow freely with you, like it does with the rest of his team but only after he had gotten close to them. He had only known you for a day but still found it so natural to speak to you (if he ignored the deafening sound of his heartbeat and the massive lump in his throat).
"want any tea?" your offer broke the silence as you grinned and held up the now boiling kettle.
"uh- sure" he nodded, was his heart getting louder?
you tossed open one of the cupboards "pick your poison" you chirped, gesturing the stocked shelf of teas.
he rounded the island to inspect the selection, peering over you in such a way that his form eclipsed yours and forced you to move back against the counter top. You held your breath.
"'ere" he handed a small tin containing a non-caffeinated herbal blend down to you and stepped away "is it any good?" he asked, pointing lazily at the tin that you now held.
you tried to shrug your flustered feelings away "Better be, 's what I'm having" you turned to grab him a mug from the shelf.
Simon smiled to himself at the knowledge he picked the same type of tea as you purely by coincidence. Moments later you were handing it to him, "here ya go Ghost" you said placing the hot mug in front of him
"Simon." he responded plainly
"Hm?" you tilted your head a bit
"Simon's fine, ya don't need to be calling me that 'Ghost' shit 'ere" he was staring holes into the kitchen island, wondering if it was weird for him to be asking you to call him by his given name.
"Alright, Simon it is then" you beamed, not missing a beat
christ his name sounded so good when you said it
"sorry guess it was just habit, seeing as thats what Johnny calls you whenever he's home"
"'s fine" he mumbled, a brief pause hung in the air as you both took your first sips of tea. You were right, it was good.
"where they at anyway?" Simon tried to fill the silence
"probably giggling under the covers by now" you scoffed "why? trying to get rid of me?" you joked
"'s not it" Simon answered quickly
"I know I know- I'm just teasing" you smirk "Johnny told me you were a bit quiet so don't feel pressured to talk 'er anything"
He appreciated the sentiment, but not talking to you was possibly the last thing he wanted to do right now. "What else does the little twat say?" Simon asked, a little gruffer than he intended to sound, but his reputation was on the line here.
"Oh just stories from all the dangerous stuff you all get up to, usually the ones where he can say he was the hero" you fully laughed and it sounded like music to Simon's ears "That and he complains about all the work he has to do, usually when he wants to get out of chores"
"sounds 'bout right" Simon smiled lightly and you could have sworn it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.
At least you didn't think he was some sulking, menacing, edge-lord. I mean he most certainly was most times but he would really prefer it if you didn't think of him like that. Now he just had one more thing to clear up.
"jus' so ya know... I- I didn't use your body wash" he practically had to shove the words out of his mouth he was so tense, but to his surprise you just laughed.
You smiled brightly and waved your hand dismissively, "Don't worry I didn't think you had, I don't blame you for not finding his soap though" you held your mug close to your chest and smiled fondly "He used to use that Head and Shoulder's stuff, you know the one? Anyway, it was nasty so I got him some better stuff and he actually likes it, even if he complains he smells 'like a chick' now" you put that last part in air quotes.
"fair", the soap Simon used on base was Head and Shoulder's. He made a mental note to throw it out and get better stuff the second he got back.
Conversation flowed freely for the next couple minutes as you both finished your drinks, you mostly asked about what it was like living on a military base and he asked about a bit about your graduate studies. Happy just to learn anything about you. When you set your empty mug down on the kitchen counter, he silently glided over with his own and took your mug in his other hand, filling them with water in the sink.
"you really don't have to do that, but thank you" you smiled softly, a yawn escaped you, feeling the tiredness begin to catch up with you.
"don't mind it" he dried his hands off with the kitchen towel. When he looked back at you his heart swelled. you were smiling lightly in the dimly lit kitchen, eyes squinting from even that being too much light. You swayed back and forth slowly, heading nodding slightly every couple of moments. He felt bad for keeping you up but more than that he wished he could just pick you up and whisk you off to bed, curling up next you you and letting you snuggle into his chest. But there was no way he could do something like that, not now anyway, so he settled for the next option
"you look like you're about to fall over love, off to bed now" he said, his voice quiet and gentle as patted you on the back and steered you towards your room.
"aye aye captain" you lazily saluted him and he couldn't help but smile "let me know if ya need anything" you called from the hall "night!"
"yeah g'night" he groaned, shoving himself onto the couch that was much too small for him. He would rather freeze than make you get up to get him another blanket or something. And even though he felt perfectly comfortable he couldn't seem to get to sleep, his heart was just too loud.
*I might make Price come over to give the boys something they left behind just so he can meet/flirt with reader and Simon and get all grumpy and jealous cuz it would be cute <3
Tags:
@sleep101 @urbimom @noisydelusionlove @plk-18 @pinkyfqiry @wwe1rdc0re @vmaxis @jenlvr01 @lovelovelovelovelove987654321 @ifsunmibts @callmeluno @nina-from-317 @strawberrygateau @leryg0 @weemansoap @dreamtofus @imjustheretofightforlove @electricmentalitypersona
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rosylix · 6 months ago
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더 깊이 빠져들겠지 더 조금씩 더 조금씩 넌...
you don't know how to give a hickey.. what are friends for if not to help each other with these things?
pairing: bff!felix × gn!reader
wc: 4.3k
content: nonidol au, fluff, not rly smut but suggestive (mdni pls), shy/inexperienced reader, hickeys (duh), reader is like slightly germophobic idk, a lot of teasing, no use of y/n
a/n: i am so delusional i need to bite this mans neck badly. and yes this is my username. yes it's the loona song. lol
[also read on ao3]
part 1 | part 2 | part 3
God, you should have just kept your mouth shut.
“You don't know how to give a hickey?”
You shake your head and cover your face, hiding from Felix, who's sitting next to you on his bed.
“Wait, really? Like you've never even tried it on yourself?” he asks.
“No?! What, people actually do that?” Your hands lower slightly to reveal your eyes widening.
He breathes out a laugh and you hit his arm. “It's not funny!”
“It's kind of funny.”
“Shut up. I just— like— I never… whatever.” He poorly conceals a teasing smile. “Shut up or you're literally not getting any cinnamon rolls tomorrow. In fact, lemme ask Hannie if he wants your extras.” You pull out your phone.
Before you can do anything, Felix swiftly moves closer to you, his hand pushing yours down. “Whoa, whoa, hey.. that's a little drastic, yeah? Have I ever told you how much I love and appreciate you? ..And your cinnamon rolls?” He smiles sweetly, batting his eyelashes at you.
You grumble but drop the phone and shake his hand away, pursing your lips to fight a smile. The two of you fall into a comfortable silence.
…And then Felix ruins it.
“But you've kissed people before, right?”
You look at him incredulously. “Did I not say to shut up??” you shriek.
“Is that a no?” He giggles. He fucking giggles. You want to punch his pretty face.
“Lee Felix Yongbok I will smite you down right here where you stand if you don't—”
He puts his hands up in surrender. “Okay wait, sorry, I didn't mean it like that! I just mean, it's kind of like the same thing, you know?”
“The same as what? Giving a h-hickey?” You can't help but stutter a little.
“Yeah like it's… I'll show you.” 
Felix suddenly moves so he's in front of you and gently grabs your arm. He'll show you?! Literally what. What the hell. You let out a small squeak and instinctively lean away from him. 
“Relax, I just meant here,” he touches your arm. “Is that okay?”
You stare at him.
“...Or I could show it on myself but I thought it might be better to feel it? Or I don't have to do it at all of course,” he says quickly.
Oh. It takes a second but the gears in your head start slowly turning enough to respond.
“Oh.” Well, okay, that wasn't as much of a response as you meant to give.
Felix laughs softly and pulls his hand away from your arm. “Sorry, it's too weird, right? No worries.”
But wait, you're actually curious. And isn't it better to figure it out before you inevitably make a fool out of yourself in front of someone else? It makes you a bit nervous but… you're comfortable with Felix. “No, wait, you can uh... show me…?”
His eyebrows raise for a second but then he smiles. “You sure?”
You nod. You still feel a little dazed and you're not really cognizant enough to actually do anything but watch him as he moves closer again. Your arm must feel like a dead weight but he lifts it up and lowers his head, placing a chaste kiss on your inner wrist. “This okay? Usually you um... start with kissing.”
“O-Oh, okay, yeah..” you murmur. What is this sudden weird atmosphere? Maybe you're the only one feeling it. Felix doesn't seem too phased, but you can feel your heart pounding in your chest. Shit, can he feel your pulse right now? You really hope not. 
He flashes a shy smile and places another kiss there, and another a little higher, and another, and it feels way too intimate and sends shivers up your spine. Slowly, he moves up your forearm, stopping right before your elbow.
“So… then.. you just wanna like... suck,” he says before doing just that, right below the crook of your elbow. 
Oh. It feels weird. You must have made a noise or something because he looks up at you through dark lashes, a smile playing on the corners of his lips. You swallow. What the actual hell is happening right now? 
After holding excruciating eye contact for what feels like an eternity, he lets his eyes close. Thank god, because it was making your chest feel tight and weird. You continue to stare as he continues kissing and sucking at your arm, face absolutely burning at the strange sensation.
You've literally lost the freaking plot. You just sit there, no semblance of time passing. After about twenty seconds? Twenty minutes? It literally could have been either — he finally pulls away, with a final kiss and light drag of his teeth against your skin. 
You hold your breath as he sits up and gently maneuvers your arm so you could see the fruits of his labor. He clears his throat. “Um, so… it's starting to show up. See?” he says a little breathlessly.
You nod, unsure what to say when your best friend literally just sucked a hickey onto your arm. A very platonic hickey. Okay. This is fine. This is totally normal right? It must be or he wouldn't have offered. ..Right? You stare down at the bruise starting to blossom on your arm and finally chance a glance at Felix, but he also has his head down, staring at your arm.
Suddenly as if on cue, his head jerks up. When he sees you looking at him he grins. “Cool, right? How does it feel?” 
“Weird…” you mumble. How can he be so nonchalant about this? You want to strangle him.
He nods. “It might be a little sensitive for a bit.” He runs his fingers lightly over the reddening area and you immediately see what he means. It feels tender and tingly under his touch. You shiver. “So.. you think you get how to do it now?” he asks. 
“Um… yeah, I mean, maybe?”
“Do you wanna try?”
“Try? What, on… on your arm?!” 
A slight blush creeps up his face and he shrugs. “Sure, or wherever… my arm, or my neck since that's where it's usually…”
You feel your face heat up as well. “I…”
“I just thought, if you wanna like, practice? But of course you don't have to.” He looks away and shrugs again, seeming a little embarrassed for suggesting it.
You open and close your mouth over and over again like a fish. Like a stupid dumb fish who somehow got itself reeled into this crazy situation. But honestly, the more you think about it, the offer to practice is tempting. When would you get another opportunity like this? Probably never. And… you trust Felix more than anyone else.
“...Is it really okay?” you ask hesitantly.
Felix looks up, blinking a few times before smiling. “Of course. I mean, it's only fair since I did it on you,” he laughs softly. He seems happy but also a little surprised that you actually appeared to be agreeing to his offer. Honestly, you're surprised too.
“Right, um…” you mumble. You shuffle a little closer to him. His hand slides down from your elbow to your hand, rubbing gentle circles on the back of it with his thumb. To reassure you, you think. It's a sweet gesture.
You lean in slightly towards his neck, deciding that if you do it here, you can hide your face from him and avoid any eye contact. “Um, can I...? Where should I…?”
You're so close to him. You can hear his breath catch a little before he points to the side of his neck with his free hand. “Around here,” he says, his voice somehow getting impossibly lower.
You swallow, the reality of the situation suddenly sinking in. As you lean in further you bite your lip, anxious. You need to break this tension somehow. You just can't do this right now. “Um.. um… do you wash your neck?” you blurt out.
Felix leans back a little. “Do I... do I wash my neck? That's what you're worried about?” he laughs.
“Some people probably don't!” you exclaim. Then you sigh. “Ugh, s-sorry, that's stupid, right? You literally licked my arm,” you let out a nervous laugh. “I just— I don't know. It feels icky. Germs.” 
He hums. “You're not stupid.” A pause. “But, I can proudly say I do wash my neck.” He presses his lips together, clearly suppressing another laugh and you just know he's about to tease you. “Wow, how do you even kiss people if you're this worried about germs?”
“Shut up,” you grumble, leaning back into his neck a little to hide your face, your breath hot on his neck. He inhales sharply and seems surprised and, you think, a little panicked?
You instantly pull away. “Felix, are you sure?” You chew on your lip. Is this a bad idea after all?
“Yeah, I-I... yeah, of course,” he says, a little breathless, but you're not entirely convinced. You start to move away fully but he quickly grabs your arm again. “No.. no, wait. Please,” he whispers. You see him visibly try to relax, taking a deep breath in and out. “It's okay. I promise. I was just caught off guard.”
“Sorry,” you whisper.
“No, no, you're good, you're fine. It was me.” Felix clears his throat and rubs your arm reassuringly. 
You take a deep breath. “Okay… so.. here?” You lean back in to where you were previously, breath hitting his neck.
He swallows, and you see it because his Adam's apple bobs up and down right in front of your face. What the fuck. “Yeah. Just go slow and… you can start with kissing if you want. Don't overthink it,” he mumbles, sounding more like he's reminding himself of something.
You nod and slowly, so slowly, you lean in the rest of the way and press your lips to his neck.
You expected him to remain still but a small breathy noise escapes him and he leans his head further back, exposing more of his neck in the process. You swear you can feel his pulse thrumming under your lips. “Good... um.. yeah, just... kiss a little bit and then suck. You can use your tongue, too,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, but you can feel the vibrations against your lips when he speaks. What the fuck.
Your head feels fuzzy. You hesitantly place a kiss on his neck, and then another a little higher, and another, until you reach an area you're satisfied with. You almost want to pull away but remember Felix's words. Right. Just try not to overthink it…
He pulls a breath in through his teeth when you press an open-mouthed kiss and start sucking gently. At the same time, your tongue darts out almost automatically and touches his skin. 
You feel him swallow thickly. “Y-You gotta… harder…” he murmurs. “Or it won't mark.”
You hesitate. “Won't it hurt?”
He blinks hard and shakes his head slightly. “Don't worry… I-I'll tell you if it hurts, okay? Just try. Do it like I did.”
You nod and take a deep breath before trying again, this time in earnest, sucking harder and pulling his skin between your lips and even past your teeth.
“Yeah,” he breathes out, his grip on your arm tightening, “Like... like that. And you can.. use your teeth a little too.” His voice is getting thick, low, and raspy and, god, you feel a little dizzy.
But you want to please him, so you bite down softly and let your teeth run over the area. A quiet, high-pitched whine escapes his lips, and his hand shoots up to cover his mouth, body jerking back slightly. He suddenly seems to realize the noise he made and looks at you, wide-eyed.
You pull back again, a little breathless. “D-Did it hurt?” You really didn't think you bit that hard, but you can't hide the worry in your voice.
His hand drops from his mouth, face flushed and breathing labored. His eyes look a little dialed out. “No... no, it didn't.. hurt.” It seems like it takes all his strength just to say that. “Sorry, I just...” he takes a few more seconds to gather himself, “Um, kinda sensitive…”
…Sensitive? Oh. Oh. It was good. He liked it. You almost sigh in relief. But then… wait. He's sensitive there. He… Your brain isn't working. You find yourself leaning back in to his neck without thinking.
Felix doesn’t protest, just sits back, exposing more of his neck to you. You feel his body shudder when you lightly drag your teeth over the area before attaching your mouth more firmly and sucking at his skin.
He can’t stop the whimper from leaving his throat. “That feels really good.. you’re doing good,” he pants.
Your heart swells from the praise and you double down on your efforts. You hear him try to suppress another whimper but it’s more strained this time. It happens again and again, little noises and whines that you're not sure if he's even aware he's making. Every noise pulls and tugs at something in your stomach.
It feels intimate, so insanely intimate and you think you might combust on the spot if you go any longer. It's a bit nerve-wracking to pull away and face Felix but you force yourself to, licking your lips as you retreat.
Your eyes immediately widen at the sight in front of you. A pretty, deep pink bruise begins to blossom on his neck and your heart skips a beat at the realization that you did that to him.
Felix hasn't said anything. Is he upset? You chance a glance at his face and—
Oh. His eyes are closed and a faint sheen of sweat coats his flushed face, which is pulled taught in a mixture of bliss and something like pain. His chest is heaving, breath coming out in quick gasps. You stare at him, the only thought in your mind being: God, he's gorgeous like this.
He blinks rapidly and seems to finally come to. When he finally refocuses his gaze on you, he lets out a shaky exhale that turns into a weak laugh.
“...Good?” he asks.
Good? Good? Your head is spinning. It's not good. Nothing is good. Life is meaningless and everything you know exists on a floating rock spinning in the void and you think you're gonna pass out and never wake up. It's not good. It's fucking crazy. But you just mumble, “It's… showing up, I think…”
He raises an eyebrow. “That right? Let me see then.”
Felix grabs his phone and pulls up the camera, angling it so he has a clear view of his neck. He lets out a soft whistle, bringing his hand up to feel where the hickey is. You watch dumbly as he presses his fingers on it and lets out a shaky sigh. Then he looks at you and grins before throwing you a thumbs-up. “You did great. It's already pretty dark.”
You actually want to kill him. Your brain is melting and he's acting like this is the most normal afternoon of his life. Maybe it is. Does Felix do this type of thing often? The thought makes you shiver.
You throw your hands over your face. “I-I didn't mean for it to be that—like—ugh…”
His smile softens. “Hey, hey, you don't have to be embarrassed. It's…” he searches your face for a second and suddenly reaches over to gently pull your hands away. “It's not that bad. You did really good. Besides, it’s my neck, yeah?” His tone shifts to more of a teasing one, like he’s amused you’re overreacting a little. It just serves to frustrate you more.
You sigh. “Um… I really—it's really okay..?”
He nods. “Yeah, of course it is. It’s just a little mark, nothing serious.” He looks at you thoughtfully for a bit and you feel yourself getting flushed under his gaze. “You know.. you can try it again. If you want. Just to practice. Or for science, or whatever.” He laughs.
What. You’re stunned into silence. Science? You stare at him incredulously and he just grins back before leaning even further forward. This can't be your Felix. This is actually crazy. 
Felix smiles at your dumbfounded expression. “…Come on.” He brings a hand up to your face and pokes at your cheek softly. “Do it again. Try a different spot. Make it darker.”
He's obviously teasing you. So you're flabbergasted when what comes out of your mouth is, “W-Where..?” Where? Literally what are you saying. Like, where is the nearest exit? Where has your own sanity gone? That's what you should be asking.
He shrugs. “Anywhere. The other side?” He points to the unmarked side of his neck. Then he pushes his shirt down slightly, revealing a sliver of his shoulder and collarbone before looking back at you, eyes expectant with a bit of an impish gleam. “Maybe.. here?” he mumbles.
Your head spins. Oh yeah, you're definitely gonna pass out. It's so over. Life and death and the universe… fucking craziness. You're falling. You're dying. Everything is melting. Nothing's real.
Oh wait, you're actually falling, your head plopping down on his shoulder as you let out an embarrassed groan. 
You hear him laughing softly. “Someone's eager—”
You’re a bit confused but then your eyes focus on the place your head is now laying and—Oh god, you’re right where his shoulder and neck meet. Right where he just told you to suck a hickey. Great.
You instantly lift your head up, face burning. “No, I didn't—I wasn't trying to—”
He brushes the hair out of your face. “Hey, it's okay, I'm not forcing you or anything. Are you overwhelmed?” 
“Um, yeah, but— y-yeah. Sorry.” God. How pathetic do you look right now?
“Don't apologize. I was just teasing. It makes sense to be overwhelmed. It's a new experience.” He sits back and laughs but there’s a bit of a nervous waver to it. “You're fine, seriously. Maybe we got a little carried away, huh?”
“Uhh— yeah….”
He gives you an apologetic look. “I'm sorry for being pushy. Let's just... just forget about the whole thing, yeah? Let's play some video games or something.” He clears his throat.
He's moving on but your head is still spinning. This really is the most normal afternoon for him, you think. Because how is he so chill? Your body is still buzzing with nervous energy and you can't just switch off and forget about it, can you?
You can't. “Uh— Uh, wait—...”
“...Yeah?”
You drop your head back down onto his shoulder. “Um… is it bad if I… kinda…”
You trail off and he doesn’t respond for a few seconds. You don’t dare move, waiting for something, anything. When he finally does say something his voice sounds strained. “Kinda what?” he asks quietly.
“Um.” Fuck. “Nevermind.” You go to draw back but Felix quickly places a hand at the back of your head, preventing any movement.
You hear him exhale quietly. “I don't mind, you know,” he whispers. “You can do it. If you... if you want to.” He slowly starts running his fingers through your hair. “If you wanna practice. The more you practice, the more comfortable you'll be with it, right?”
You hum against his shoulder, the justification mulling around in your head. Of course. Of course that's why you want to. For practice. For science.
He continues. “Yeah, do it. Uh, j-just, I mean— if you want. A-As practice. Try to… see how dark you can make it… or… ” For all the talk he was making before, he stutters now, and you can't help but find it a little endearing. Maybe he's actually a little nervous as well.
Fuck it. Who cares. You've lost the plot. You press your mouth against his skin, giving a few open-mouthed kisses before gently sucking at it.
You hear his breathing stutter and he shifts slightly. “Yeah, j-just…” he lets out a shaky sigh and presses his hand a bit more firmly on the back of your head, bringing you closer to him. The angle is still a bit awkward to reach, so without much thinking, you crawl slightly onto his lap.
“Oh,” he mumbles, his body goes tense for a second before relaxing again. He's completely still, like if he moves you’ll pull away, but eventually his fingers start running through your hair again. It isn't a particularly suggestive position, you're sitting back more towards his knees, but suddenly everything feels charged with tension. 
You hear a low, almost imperceptible groan as you continue sucking lightly from the new angle. “You're doing really well,” he mutters encouragingly. “Just a little more… harder. And like, bite a little, remember?”
Right. You comply and bite down a little. Felix lets out a small whine, hand tightening in your hair. “Good… uh, just like that..” he mumbles. “You can try moving a little more, if you want—”
You don't need to hear more, instantly moving your mouth higher up his neck without much thought. His fingers slide down until his hands are completely resting between your shoulder blades, pressing you closer. Shivers run down your spine where he touches and you attach your lips to the side of his Adam's apple.
“A-Ah…” a shaky moan escapes him, taking both of you by surprise. His hands suddenly jump down to grip your waist tightly. Oh. He seems much more sensitive here. You swear you're dizzy. Maybe you're dying. You think you’re fine with that honestly.
You want to bite him. You let your teeth sink into the skin a little. He lets out a shaky half-laugh, half-groan, tilting his head back and pulling you towards him. “Y-You learn quickly.” A deep pink flush runs high on his cheeks, and his breaths are unsteady. You’ve never seen him like this, so undone, and it's making you feel powerful. You want more.
You decide to give in to that and bite down harder, feeling his body jerk. He moans, breathy, and whispers, “Oh. Yeah. Yeah, that feels so good.” One of his hands moves to the back of your neck, fingers gently grasping the base of your hair. His thumb brushes up against your earlobe and for some reason it sets tingles off all down your spine.
…Does it really feel that good? You can't help but wonder. It mostly just felt weird on your arm but you suppose that's different. Different from your. Neck. Oh fuck, now you're thinking about it. His mouth on your neck. His mouth on your neck. You're floating. You're crashing. Everything is cool. Everything is burning. 
Your brain is practically short-circuiting and you start sucking on the same spot before pulling back just enough to bite down and suck at it again, this time a little harder.
His breath stutters and you feel his head tilt to give you more access. There's another small gasp that comes out as a strained “Fuuuck…” when you continue. You think you're actually delirious at this point.
Then, “W-wait..” he says urgently, his chest heaving. His hand that was on your neck slides down to grab your shoulder now.
“That's… good. We should.. stop. I…” he pants heavily.
You pull away instantly. “O-Okay. Yeah. Sorry.” You feel restless, fidgety, more than just from nerves.
“No, you're fine, god. It's me. I'm getting too…” he shakes his head. “You did really good, I…” He presses his hands against his eyes and takes a few deep, slow breaths.
When he drops his hands he seems mostly back to normal. “Um.” He laughs a little. “We, uh… how's it look?”
You stare at his neck and shoulder. Oh, fuck. In truth, it looks fucking insane. Like he got mauled or something. Oh my god. That was you. What came over you?
He raises an eyebrow at your silence. “Guess I gotta see for myself,” he says and places his hands on your waist to lift you up and off of his lap. As if you weigh literally nothing. What the fuck.
With your head still reeling at how he lifted you like you're nothing, you don't really notice him reaching for his phone to see himself until you hear him suck in a breath.
“Wow… I'm gonna get so many comments tomorrow.”
“What?!” you shriek. Oh god. Of course it'll take a few days to fade. You hadn't even thought about that. The light mark on your arm is easy to brush off as nothing but the rosy hues on his neck are unmistakable.
He laughs. “I'm just kidding. I'll have to.. cover it with makeup I guess. Don't worry.”
“You better…” you mumble, embarrassed.
He hums. “Hmm… Well it isn't really fair... What should I do…” He leans in, studying your flushed face. “Wanna match?” he says with a cheeky grin.
“What?? Felix!”
“I'm joking! Jeez…” He pokes your cheek. “Unless all this blushing isn't just from embarrassment and you're actually into this?” 
Your face is positively burning. “Shut up. You're annoying as hell,” you grumble.
He gasps dramatically. “After I gave up my sanctity for you to practice on me? This is how you treat me?”
You can't help but giggle at his dramatics but you quickly steel your expression and glare at him equally as dramatically.
You're really grateful everything seems to be normal on his end. You're trying your best to act the same, but in truth, you feel like a fucking mess. His joking comment about you being into this… No, definitely not. There's no way. It's probably just because it's your first time doing this with anyone, so of course it's going to feel crazy and weird and confusing. Right? Yeah. But still. Even long after the two of you move on, playing video games and hanging out like normal, you can't shake the feeling that something's weird. Something shifted. You don't know what the fuck it is though. You just try not to think about it.
How are you actually supposed to go back to normal after this?
a/n: so on a scale of 1 to 10 how painfully obvious is it that i've never given a hickey in my life.
no but um haha any feedback good or bad would be super appreciated!! pls leave a like or reblog if u enjoyed it makes me so happy. tysm for reading <3
part 2
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togament · 5 months ago
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𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄'𝐒 𝐓𝐈𝐏𝐒𝐘. ume, sakura, suo, kaji, togame.
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: mentions of alcohol, drinking it, Ume’s cuteness and extreme softness, mega warning for Ume’s I kinda got ahead of myself again (it’s longer than the others ;;), AFAB!reader, NSFW FOR TOGAME AND HIS FILTHY MOUTH, small argument in Kaji's (but he makes up for it, I swear.)
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𝐔𝐦𝐞.
- responsible, of course. He doesn’t drink and would most likely be the one cleaning up after everyone when they’re wasted, handing out cold bottles of electrolytes and glasses of water. Possibly the one passing around properly proportioned drinks so he could keep an eye on everyone, handing out snacks too. The absolute best Mama Hen (Papa Rooster?) you could ask for in a house party. But if you’re the only ones awake? He sneaks in a drink or two with you. An emotional drunk. Prepare to sniffle with him as he practically thanks you for being around, for being the absolute best, for being his best friend, for making him fall in love with yo—
“You’re the best, y’know that?” He sips his drink, nursing a bottle of electrolytes in his other hand. He says it so suddenly, so abruptly, you think you misheard it. You scoot closer to your best friend, arms pressed against each other as you both lean against the wall, facing your knocked out friends. With your cheek pressed onto his shoulder, you shake your head. “Should be telling you that, Ume. The party was a success because of you. Hiragi’s parent’s antiques live to see another day.” With that, he nudges you gently with a chuckle. “C’mon let me shower you with praise, alright? Listen.” Sounding a bit serious now, he has your full attention.
He threads his fingers through yours and he squeezes once. You squeeze back. Seeing his reddened knuckles from recent scuffles, you raise your intertwined fingers to your lips to press kisses onto each knuckle as he speaks. A dusting of pink ever present on his cheeks. You swear you could hear his heart beating at the same rhythm as yours is.
“I…” He pauses, tearing his eyes away from you for a moment before he looks into yours once more. Determined. Eyebrows slightly furrowed. “I think I love you—“, another pause, he shakes his head. You squeeze his hand in return to steady him and he gives you a smile you’ve never seen him give you before. Your heart’s beating double time now. “I—I know I love you. I do. More than just a friend, a companion. I know you might not feel the same way, maybe you see me as family and that’s fine but I just—“ “I love you too, idiot.” You interrupt his overthinking before continuing, “Always have. More than a friend, actually.”
If your friends weren’t a few feet from you both he’d scoop you up and twirl you around. Hell, if he had a tail he’d be wagging it nonstop by now. Your hands, now sweaty, are still intertwined. He’s practically beaming with sunlight, ready to burst. While you’re basking in it. Your sun. Your sun.
You both kissed each other that night with the taste of cheap whiskey and electrolytes on your lips.
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𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐚.
- Asian glow, meet Sakura. Sakura puts the Asian glow to shame, my guy. He’s got a tomato for a head when he drinks. You’re not even touching or kissing him, he’s just… RED. Doesn’t like getting plastered but when he does get a couple of drinks in? He’s screaming for you every second, looking for you, needing you around him. (Nirei’s sprinting to look for you, Suo’s making Sakura drink enough water, Ume’s preparing a cold bottle of pocari sweat for him.) What normally would make Sakura run away screaming would now make him actually, fully accept it. You can feel him melt into you, pressing his cheek to yours. He’s a very clingy drunk. The others don’t point it out as much. They don’t want to poke the (extremely, extremely clingy) bear.
“Where is she???” He literally screams into the crowd, getting on his tippy toes and hopping over heads just to get a glance of you hopefully walking towards him. Nirei’s already lost in the group of people, weaving through them to get to you. Thankfully, you’re just at the kitchen whipping up a couple more drinks when Nirei finally found you. “He’s at it again, huh?” You say as you take a swig from your drink, looking at a messy haired Nirei. He looks like he went through hell and back. “Y-yeah. I think you should go. He’s been groaning for you nonstop-“ Nirei then guides you through the crowd, hand on your wrist so you wouldn’t get lost.
He pulls you towards Sakura whose now lounging on the couch. You both were hoping for a relieved Sakura but instead are met with your bicolor haired lover staring daggers into Nirei and his steady grip on your wrist. Nirei immediately lets go and as he does, Sakura pulls you into his lap causing your drink to spill a little, dribbling down your cheek and your neck. “What the hell Saku—“ you’re interrupted by him licking a strip up your neck, lapping at the spilled drink. His hands grow more possessive as they hold you closer to him, kneading your flesh through your clothes.
“Missed ya,” he mutters into your neck, nuzzling his nose into it like a kitten would. “Where’d ya run off to? Been looking everywhere for you, baby.” he’s a completely different person when he’s tipsy, clingy and touchy, not really caring if your friends see him practically claiming his spot as YOUR lover. “Went to make some drinks. Don’t tell me you need me with you all the time.” You tease him. While he’d normally blush and stammer at that, he’s now pressing kisses into your cheek, smiling into each one.
“Mhm. Need ya all the damn time, angel. Don’t leave.”
𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐓.
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𝐒𝐮𝐨.
- doesn’t drink (he doesn’t eat either so—) He really just doesn’t like drinking alcohol. He gets the appeal, sure. He could go for a couple of glasses, sure. He could maybe finish 2 bottles of whiskey by himself and not feel a thing, SURE. But he doesn’t like drinking it. He’s more of like a casual enjoyer, maybe having a finger or two of whiskey on the rocks with friends. Always the one cleaning up after them (Nirei) too. But when it’s just the both of you though, it’s a different story. Sure you can’t tell if he’s plastered or not from the get go but there’s a tell. He’s more… open with his emotions.
“You look gorgeous in that dress, my dove,” you turn slowly to your lover who’s eyeing you down from beside you. You’re both at one of the booths of the speakeasy you frequent, away from curious eyes. By the way he’s looking at you, you feel like he’s undressing you with his eyes almost. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows dryly. Is he blushing? You can’t tell under the dim lighting, “Absolutely—gorgeous,” he ghosts his fingers along your curves, his gaze following the invisible path he’s drawn out. Making sure to go extra, extra slow around your derrière before he pulls his hand away to take a swig of his drink.
“What’s gotten into you tonight? Drunk already?” You say while you reach over to straighten his suit out, trying your damndest not to let your growing arousal show. You swear you can feel the booth heating up. “Drunk off the alcohol? Oh, dearest no. Off of you, however? Well…” He’s staring at you from over his rocks glass. The ice clinks as he puts it down on the table.
“How could I not? I could drink you in all fucking night.” There’s that tell. There’s the swearing. You pause, meeting his heavily lidded gaze. You swallow. “Care to give me a taste, dove?”
You feel his fingers creep up your leg and you part them so willingly. Nobody’ll peek into your booth. Not with your lover around.
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𝐊𝐚𝐣𝐢.
- Lightweight to Average drinker. He’s a sleepy drunk but he doesn’t want anyone seeing him in such a vulnerable state so he often opts to bail or not drink at all. Most of the time he bails though. Not about that social drinking life. Only you could manage to convince him to come with though. You’re always met with the tiniest amount of resistance but you can manage, right? (He’s got a soft spot for you. Of course he’d go. You don’t have to ask twice. He just likes seeing you pout when he says no the first time. It’s cute.) Still, don’t get him drunk please don’t—oh no he’s got a bottle in his hand. He’s guzzling it. Oh no. Ohhh no.
You’re in Hiragi’s bed, hidden under the covers with your lover’s arms wrapped around your waist and his face resting on your shoulder now fast asleep. How’d you both find yourselves here? Well, first, Kaji ended up breaking a couple of glasses (he swears it was an accident), then almost started a couple of fights (you know how he is with his mouth), then tried napping on the couch with you while everybody’s drinking (he was complaining about the noise but… it’s a party, Kaji.) Hiragi, thankfully, allowed you both to hole up in his room for a little while to sober up. Locked inside with a couple of bottles of pocari sweat (care of Umemiya!), you’re intertwined now.
You sigh, flicking your boyfriend’s forehead gently, “idiot,” he winces, tightening his grip around your waist to pull you closer. Thank god he’s mellower now. “Ow—shit! What’d you do that for?” He rubs his forehead on your cheek, HIS cheeks slightly blushing from the alcohol. “You shouldn’t have drunk too much-“ “Well you brought me here what was I supposed to d-“ “Oh I don’t know, not drink an entire bottle in one sit—“ You feel his lips against yours, the tiny argument now forgotten. You can taste the alcohol and some sweetness from his lollipop from earlier. Then you hear something you never thought you’d hear fall from his mouth willingly.
“…sorry.” Huh. You angle away to take a proper look at him. He only grumbles and hides deeper into your neck, using the covers as a shield against from you. He’s acting so needy and soft. If he wasn’t so tipsy you would have pounced on him to pepper kisses along his cheeks. You attempt to pull the blanket down but he’s holding it so tightly. “Say that again, baby? You’re what?” You can’t hide the smile from your lips but then he pinches your side causing you to yelp. “Y’heard me the first time.” Rolling your eyes, you nuzzle into his touch. “C’mon just a tiny one? The tiniest little sowwy? Fow me?” You whisper and you’re only met with three kisses on your forehead.
“I love you. Sorry.” You smile, bringing up Hiragi’s comfortable blanket over your sleepy bodies.
“Love you too, idiot.”
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𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞.
Is an absolute lightweight so he ends up being a sleepy drunk or doesn’t drink at all. But with you around and he’s had maybe a drink and a half in his system? He’s absolutely feral. So touchy, SO so SOOOOO horny when he’s got even the slightest amount of alcohol in his system to get him tipsy. He’s touching you, caressing your face, your arms, your ass (if you’d allow him to. The man understands boundaries.) While he’s normally so soft spoken around you, teasing you in his own silly, dorky way, he’s a different man when he's tipsy. His vocabulary is a different beast. Sloppy and direct. His 6’2” frame and entire weight practically leaning onto you for support on Hiragi’s family couch — to some he looks as though he’s dozing off. It’s anything BUT that. He’s whispering the dirtiest, raunchiest things into your ear, teasing you with that deep voice of his. He knows what he’s doing. You like it, of course.
“I’m so fucking hard right now, doll—god it’s throbbing.” He whines softly into your neck, breathing so heavily you swear his body’s quivering. That voice does things to you and he KNOWS it. “Wanna fuck yet throat. Have my cum spillin’ down yer mouth, yer chest….fuck—y’put a spell on me, didn’t ya? Makin’ me wanna fuck all the damn time.” He ends it with a chuckle, peppering slow, loving kisses along your neck, clearly doesn’t care if anybody sees you both now. “Y’know, when yer not around, I fuck my fist to the thought of ya, of yer ass bouncing on me, of yer pussy dripping into my fingers. God I wanna fuck ya so badly right now—“ You can’t help it. You cross your legs to have some relief and you shift your weight slightly, feeling your throbbing clit pressed in between.
“Crossing your legs like that—yer getting off of this aren’t you? Wanna fuck me too huh?” He whispers, drawing it out slowly with a slight purr.
You nod and you can feel him perk up a little. He eases up as he stands slowly, pulling you up with him. He’s leading you down the hallway, away from the prying eyes of your peers. They’re all too busy to care where the both of you are headed.
“There’s a vacant room ‘round back. Hiragi wouldn’t mind, wouldn’t he?”
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a/n: huuurrrr pulled this out of my bum I hope you like it omg I literally wrote Togame's half asleep asjdk also feeling very bad for Hiragi and his house. kaji part dedicated to @kajibunny and our late morning rambles btw ohoho i mahal na mahal u come get your man!!!!
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luvyeni · 9 days ago
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( reaction ) failing no nut november ! ୨୧ 一 라이즈 ՞
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⸃ ⸰ ⌁ would they fail no nut november ヾ
boyfriend!riize・ reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ g ・ smut ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ cw ・mentions of sex, a little bit of degradation‎ wc ・ ‎0.9k ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎click to library
request. if you have your req open could you consider this! either a reaction or like short drabbles ig but the concept is: riizes reaction to u making them fail no nut november/ or trying to make riize fail no nut november
「 ୨୧ authors note 」 i hope this is what you wanted...<3
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﹙ 𐙚 : shotaro﹚ .ᐟ
he would definitely give up if you asked him to, the moment you bat those pretty eyelashes he's gone. “what can i do for you baby.” he smiled , but from the look in your eyes he could already tell what you wanted. “i need you.” that's all he needs before he's like ‘the hell with this challenge.’ picking you up taking you back to your room and laying you down. “you need me baby?” his hands finding his way to your clothed slit, rubbing circles on your clit. “y-yes.” he chuckled. “so cute baby.” your sweet cunt soaking his fingers. “don't worry baby.” the challenge no longer on his mind.
“no need to beg i'll fuck you the way you need me to.”
﹙ 𐙚 : eunseok﹚ .ᐟ
eunseok won't give in, he's not gonna give you what you want, no matter how much you beg him. “eunseok please.” you followed behind him. “what's the point of this stupid challenge?” you desperately pleaded with your partner. “don't you want to fuck me.” his silence pissed you off. “fine i’ll just go handle it myself.” he didn't like that at all. “go ahead and you won't cum at all in december.” he warned. “go ahead and touch what's mines, i dare you.” you whined, turning back to your room, still needy for your man's touch. “so mean.” you mumbled under your breath.
“keep talking back and you won't cum until january.”
﹙ 𐙚 : sungchan﹚ .ᐟ
he'll give in— after he's done fucking with you, he loves teasing you but in the end he'll give you what you want. “baby it's just a month, you can't go a month without me fucking you?” he smirked , you rolled your eyes. “please if you weren't doing this to piss me off you wouldn't be able to go a month.” he chuckled. “whoa baby , that's big talk for someone who wants to be fucked , maybe we should see if we both can last until december.” your entire attitude changed making him smirk condescendingly. “i like this attitude better, now get on your knees.” you followed his orders, getting down on your knees. “good girl.”
“i don't give a fuck about this challenge i just want a excuse to fuck the attitude out of you.”
﹙ 𐙚 : wonbin﹚ .ᐟ
he wouldn't give in simply to fuck with you. wonbin is a fucking tease and loves to see you struggle, it turns him on to see it — if anything it motivates him to finish until the end. “wonbin you know you don't give a fuck about this stupid challenge.” you rolled your eyes in annoyance. “it been almost a month since you fucked me.” he smirked. “you keeping track of the days sweetheart?” you wanted to slap him but that wouldn't get you anywhere. “why can't you just fuck me.” he laughed, mocking you further. “because you need to practice self control baby you're begging for dick right now.”
“don't worry i'll fuck you when this is all over.”
﹙ 𐙚 : seunghan﹚ .ᐟ
he’d give in simply because he can't not give you what you want. your his baby; and you're practically begging for him to fuck you… so he has to give his baby what she wants. he can participate next year , you needed him. “hannie please.” you begged into your boyfriend's ear. “i want you so fucking bad.” he smiled at you, cradling your face in his hands. “language princess.” you whined. “this game is stupid.” you sighed in frustration. “please just give up.” that's all he needed. “fine princess , be a good girl and lay down.” you were quick to undress yourself laying back , waiting for your man. “so pretty and desperate.” he said, now undressed. “so spoiled.” he climbed on top of you.
“always needy for my cock.”
﹙ 𐙚 : sohee﹚ .ᐟ
he's failing because he's not participating; number one munch here isn't gonna give up eating your sweet cunt for a let , let alone not fucking you for an entire month. you had to be the one to try and encourage him to go at least a month — it's last not even a full day. “sohee this is not how this works.” you try and push the boy currently in between your thighs away. he whined out like you cut him. “what do you mean i can't eat you out?” he questioned. “that's the whole point , not cumming.” you said. “well you don't have to cum , just let me taste you.” you pushed him away again, he cried out. “you have to wait a month.” he moved your hands , holding them down as he gave your cunt a lick. “fuck hee.” you moaned. “see that challenge is stupid.” he said.
“just let me make you cum on my tongue.”
﹙ 𐙚 : anton﹚ .ᐟ
he'll last a week or two before he can't take it anymore; his need for you overruling any stupid challenge. “anton you wanted to do this challenge.” he hated when you brought it his grave mistake. “it's only a few more weeks.” he whined , wrapping his arms around you, his obvious hard on pressed against you. “baby please, it's just a stupid challenge with the hyungs , they don't even have to know.” he kissed the inside of your neck. “please don't ignore me, I'm so fucking hard.” he groaned, feeling you up trying to rile you up. “anton.” you sighed. “see you want this too.” his hands came up to your boobs. “we don't even have a to tell them.”
“just let me fuck you , please baby.”
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©LUVYENI
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