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comicbookhyperfixationtime · 1 year ago

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Uncanny X-Men #194- Juggernaut's Back in Town

Last Issue Recap: The team fought Thunderbird's identical brother and his Hellion friends in a US base, tanked whatever remained of their superhero credibility and then proceeded to just let Thunderbird and the Hellions waltz on back to Emma Frost without any repercussions.

This cover is pretty cool, I wouldn’t say the composition is fantastic but it makes it pretty clear what this issue is going to be about (a big ol’ heavy hitter slap fight) and Rogue with Nightcrawler and Colossus’ powers is intriguing.

The issue doesn't start with a fight though, it starts with Juggernaut having a friendly conversation with the most oblivious cop in New York

Yessir, I'm sure the giant hunk of muscle wider than he is tall couldn't possibly have anything to do with the recently escaped super criminal. 10/10 polic-ing.

Juggernaut watches some news crew give exposition for new readers on him (there's plenty of convoluted backstory but all you really need to know is he's the Juggernaut, bitch) and his recent appearances in other comics (shameless plugins). They also remind us how the X-men and Spiderman (who was Juggernaut's latest foe) are Feared and Hated By the World They Have Sworn to Protect. The popularity of a Marvel character in-universe is indirectly proportional to their popularity IRL, thus why Wonderman is highly successful film star.

Cut to the X-men in the Currently-Not-Destroyed Xavier's School upstate waking up and not giving a singular fuck about one of their super criminals on the loose.

He stayed up all night watching old swashbuckler films ahhhh he's such a dork I love him! (Thirsty Sidenote: this is I think the first time Kurt has been drawn without a shirt and gloves on. In earlier issues he seemed to basically live 24/7 in his costume. Yes I noticed. Don't judge me.)

Nobody cares, that is, except for Colossus (aka Piotr Rasputin), who went from one of my favorite characters to least favorite characters when he started dating an underage Kitty Pryde until Marvel Editor in Chief Jim Shooter told them to stop (possibly the only good decisions Jim Shooter ever made). They wasted so much good himbo potential with this boy. Anyway, he's very excited for a rematch with Juggey after demolishing a few blocks with him in a post-breakup funk several issues ago. So excited he quite literally busts out of his clothes.

See, its dumbass himbo behavior like this I'd enjoy a lot more if I couldn't get the bad taste of him and Kitty out of my mouth. Screw you Claremont for ever thinking that was ok.

Wolverine comes in from his daily barefoot snow jog in purple pajamas to tell Nightcrawler to get the team ready to track down Juggernaut because blah blah its their jobs booo you spoilsport. Honestly I would have loved an issue where the X-men just stayed at home and did nothing. I find the cool-down moments in long running comic series are usually my favorite parts. Its nice to see how these characters interact with each other and live their lives when they aren't constantly in mortal peril. But the cover promised a big knockdown dragemout and so, the plot must keep plotting. (Side note: how did Wolvie even find out about the Juggernaut? Everyone else was listening to the radio but he was running outdoors. His plot sense was tingling I guess).

Since Cyclops is a married man, Storm has lost her powers and Professor X is off in Scotland doing New Mutants stuff, Kurt now has the sole leadership responsibility of the team. I've really enjoyed Kurt's run as team leader so far. He's doing his best but he's not cut out for leadership and its clear he hates every minute of it. He's an extroverted sweetheart who would rather support his friends. Its nice to see Nightcrawler get more stuff to do after barely being present for the past for story arcs. His self doubt is also a fantastic change of pace from the previous leadership dynamics, which were the team leader going "Wah wah wah I'm the leader and you have to do what I say I'm going to be a controlling little bitch," and the second in command/former leader muttering under their breath "I would be such a better leader I deserve this title more leader doesn't know what they're doing wah wah wah." It was basically a three way dick measuring contest between Cyclops, Storm and Professor X and I hated every egotistical minute of it.

Speaking of Storm, we cut to her in her home in Kenya showing some colonial douchecanoes who's boss. Storm was recently depowered by an antimutant weapon created by Forge (long story) and so has quit the team and is returning home to find inner peace or something. Being 80s Marvel Kenya is of course portrayed in a nuanced and intelligent manner- just kidding its a thatched roof bush station in the savannah and I'm pretty sure they only chose Mount Kilimanjaro because it was the only place in Africa they could name.

Also this specific Racist White Dude is using a South African slur (kaffir) in Kenya. I'd like to say the writers meant him to be a South African on vacation in Kenya but to be honest I don't think they were thinking that hard about it. If I'm wrong though and this isn't just an example of lazy writing, lmk.)

The women running bush station who Storm saves turns out to be a member of the tribe that worshipped her as a Goddess in her first appearance (because, again, Marvel is well known for their fantastic African representation /s) and falls at her feet. The implications of this are that the regional drought mentioned in previous panels is the result of Ororo joining the X-men and no longer acting as weather Goddess, which raises a whole bunch of questions about the morality of her decision to leave in the first place, as well as broader questions about the ecology of the Marvel Universe as a whole that literally superpowers were needed to keep the climate in the region stable in the first place (climate change must be hitting them hard and fast, forget the Setinels, this is the bad future y'all should be going back to stop!). Anyway, I'm sure at least some of these will be answered the next time we see her.

Back to the main storyline, Kitty and Rachel are spying on Juggernaut, who is in a bank in civies, seemingly doing ordinary, none-crime stuff.

Look at his giant butt in that tiny chair how could anybody be fooled by this?!

The stakeout is going pretty quietly until Nimrod shows up to finally do something. The panels showing him locking in on the X-men's location is pretty neat, but its giving me Deja Vu. I wonder if its because the panel is so famous I've seen it before, or if they copied some iconic imagery from something else (it is giving me Escape From New York vibes)

Rachel and Kitty evacuate the civies and regroup with the rest of the X-men as Nimrod focuses his attention on Juggernaut. He punches Juggernaut into a conveniently empty construction lot where they can beat the stuffing out of each other without the writers having to worry about civilians. Do you think construction lots cause superhero fights, or do superhero fights cause construction lots? Its a chicken-egg sort of thing I feel. The X-men show up to stick their noses in like a bunch of idiots and this is where I have to make my opinions on Nimrod known.

Nimrod is a mutant hunting cop-robot that had been introduced previously, having been pulled into the current timestream from the Days of Future Past timeline when Dr Strange reversed time to stop the spell of an evil wizard from turning Manhatten into a Hyborian Era fantasy kingdom. I personally think exchanging Fantasy AU Avengers for pink murderbot is a pretty lame deal, but what do I know. Anyway, he's spent all his time since his initial appearance living in some poor guy's basement, eating his snacks, taking up space and barely masquerading as human, much like me.

So. I'ma be honest. I don't like Nimrod. I think he looks like a stupid pink trapezoid. Also, his name is dumb. Yeah, yeah, Nimrod was a famous biblical hunter, I know, but like. This was the 80s. Bugs Bunny had been a thing for decades, "Nimrod" was already well established as an insult and honestly giving the guy that goofy-ass triangle head and Looney Toons-esque invulnerability is not helping the associations. Like, what the hell were the DoFP folks thinking?! But then again this is same Evil Future Government that decided Rachel's mutant hunter outfit should be a literal goddamn gimpsuit so I think its been well established that their real crime aren't against humanity but fashion.

He's also extremely OP in the worst way. I can't even keep track of how many powers this guy has. And you'd think that might make the fight's interesting, right, like you'll you never know what's going to happen next? No actually it makes everyfight extremely boring because I know exactly what's going to happen next, the X-men are going to attack with something and Nimrod is going to go "Nu-uh, you can't hit me I have my everything shield!" and take them out of the fight with some new weapon he pulled out of his ass. And that's exactly what happens this time. Nightcrawler and Colossus teleport into the fight? Nimrod's tracking systems immediately detect them and he blasts them unconscious. Wolverine does a fastball special?But oh no, a force field! Kitty phases through him? Not only does she not disrupt his systems, she gets knocked back by energy field!

The demonstration of Nimrod's bullshit powers is great here, but I actually wanted to post this because of Rachel's fit. Its so 80s but I kind of adore it. This nonsense continues even after Rogue absorbs Kitty, Nightcrawler and Colossus's powers in a Hail Mary. Don't get me wrong, Rogue kicks ass and its hella entertaining but Nimrod once again is on his bullshit. She punches him into a million tiny pieces and he just reforms himself! Then he teleports out of there because I guess even he knew this fight had dragged on long enough. Which is another thing I hate about Nimrod; they can never actually kill the bastard. He'll just teleport away and come back next time with even more bullshit. It'd be so cathartic if Rogue had finally just smacked him down for good but I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot more of him in the future. The X-men let the Juggernaut go, despite him being a literal criminal, because they've been doing that a lot recently. Unfortunately for them, this time surprise news crews have been behind the fourth wall the whole time like its an episode of Impractical Jokers and now the whole world knows they didn't even try to do their job. And don't give me any "oh they were weak they knew they couldn't taken him" Juggernaut had his psionic bucket hat off and Rachel Summers was right there she could have taken him down with a single thought.

We end the comic with an ominous discussion about the X-men by two members of the Russian Security council.

You can tell its Moscow because of the picture perfect view of St Basil's which magically appears in the window. Also, how the heck am I supposed to take Eyepatch Ivanovich here seriously when he's wearing little red booty shorts?! Anyway, this certainly was an issue of X-men. It started off really fun, then it got kind of generic. Certainly not the worst or most infuriating by any means. Looking forward to next issue!

Edit: I took the comic at face value and wrote that Mount Kilimanjaro was in Kenya. Mount Kilimanjaro is actually in Tanzania, near the Kenyan border, so unless the borders have shifted since 1985, Claremont is an idiot and so am I.

#comic books #marvel comics #uncanny xmen #juggernaut #rouge #storm #nightcrawler #kitty pryde #wolverine #Colossus is there too I guess #nimrod #way too long #way too many tags

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darkandstormydolls · 3 months ago

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Part four of my fantasy costuming project: Daemon!

Link to the masterpost:

So the daemoni (does that pluralization remotely follow the rules of English grammar? No! Am I a fantasy writer who can do what I want? Yes!) are an interesting sort. They’re creatures of the water, which has a lot of implications for how they work but mostly for this purpose it means that they spend a lot of time in the water

I made this outfit out of linen, which would definitely be the most common fabric used in their clothes (often with a little bit of magic to made it not soak up water and get heavy and clingy). There’s three main pieces: pants (more of a capri-length would be more common, but I don’t like that style and I am a firm advocate in making/choosing costumes that work with your comfort level with clothes, so I went with the still occasionally seen full length pants instead), a shirt (honestly this is long enough to wear as a summer dress but it is over pants and serving a shirt like purpose in this outfit, so that’s what I’m calling it. Also the hem ended up an inch or two longer than I had expected it to), and a vest over top (which is generally an optional item of clothing, but very common).

The shirt has a fairly wide neckline and can be just pulled over my head, although admittedly that might be a bit trickier with the horns that daemoni usually have. There isn’t really a lot of complex stuff to talk about in this outfit: the vest has a very narrow facing along all the edges to finish it off, and there’s a facing at the neckline of the shirt, other than that it’s all hems. Just like how demons can’t overheat, it would take a lot of daemoni to be affected by cold (like, their blood starting to freeze), so additional layers are very rarely added, and this combined with the fact that many of them wouldn’t be spending a lot of time in direct sun, at least not for longer periods of time, means that short sleeves are standard. Just like the elves, the daemoni will often decorate their clothes with embroidery, especially as trim, and since I was working with fairly boring items of clothing here, I absolutely took the chance to decorate them here. There’s a bunch of featherstitching on the vest, two lines of chain stitches in different colors at the neckline, hem, and sleeve hems of the shirt, and a more complicated border on the pant hems. I had a lot of fun with the embroidery on this one, both because my embroidery skills had improved since making my fae clothes and also because I was trying out a lot more different stitches and designs this time.

Close up looks

I wove the sash for this outfit in the same was that I made the sash and trim on my demon clothes, although this one is just striped and lacks a pickup pattern. I opted to wear a bunch of jewelry with this one (conveniently, I have an absurd amount of costume jewelry from flea markets, plus an additional absurd amount that isn’t my style but that I keep for costumes like this one) because the daemoni are known for their gemstones and pearls (plus, it just felt appropriate for the species associated with water). There are also a handful of anachronisms with this outfit: mostly, the fact that I have my hair pinned up with the hair stick from my elven clothes (daemoni don’t usually wear their hair long), and the fact that I’m wearing boots (I have spoken before about my dislike of sandals, and I had even less desire to go barefoot. Perhaps a few daemoni might take to wearing fae-style boots if they were to spend a lot of time on land).

I really like this costume. It’s very comfortable, and all the linen makes it really nice to wear in warm weather (although admittedly I don’t get my worldbuilding costumes out as much as I would like), and despite the issues I ran into trying to find the fabric for the pants (none of the four fabric stores near me sell grey linen apparently, even in the upholstery sections, and I am slightly wary of buying fabric online, especially for something like this where I would want to be able to feel the texture and drape), it was pretty easy but still satisfying to make

#costuming #worldbuilding #fantasy #sewing #fantasy costuming #fantasy costume

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woahajimes · 4 years ago

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So I have this little headcanon (well,,,, not really a headcanon but more of a nice-to-think-about headcanon because it would never happen but it’s- like the title- nice to think about so im sharing it here) in which they’re all going to the beach in this sorta mini-van that bruce rented. And take in mind that this is the wayne family, but at the same time most people that wear a bat on their chest,,,, so they had to whack some things up.

BUT ANYWAYS, it was Bruce’s dumbass idea to buy a van and call it a road-trip, and honestly? no one was ready. That usually happens with big families, even with one that has most kids over 18. And how everyone was on board with the idea doesn’t matter because this is my headcanon and they are all now squished in a minivan and there are bags in the back and towels in the seats and there’s a cooler on top because it didn’t fit.

and just for reference the van was like SMALL. it was sort of like the school buses but way smaller, so they’re like buses in which there are three seats in front, driver, and then like two others (the middle one doesn’t really count because that’s where you put waterbottles and stuff). There’s a sort of space in the back, where you usually put the backpacks (these are like elementary school buses and every single kid has those backpacks with wheels and it’s a pain in the ass-) and then there is another set of four seats (that’s more like a sofa but no armrest- god please have patience there is literally not a single image on google im trying to be specific- and those are facing the back of the bus (so the backrest (?) is facing the place with the bags).

THEN we have another seat that’s close to this one but facing the opposite way but it’s only THREE seats so there’s a space for the next row of three seats and then there’s the back one that’s four again.

In conclusion, you can fit 18-ish people, driver counted.

and continuing with my story, it’s Bruce driving, Alfred as shotgun, a water-bottle or two in the middle, the bags in their respective places... and then...

disaster.

Babs is the only one sitting in the four-seat closer to the bags, harper is in the three-seat, Dick is there as well.

and then there’s the rest. Steph, Cass, Duke, Jason, Tim, Damian, they’re all screaming in the back and they’re throwing towels around and there’s an “OW! THAT WAS MY HAIR YOU DICKHEAD!” and a “THAT’S MINE!” and so many other things because. the back of the bus, it’s cURSED. And Bruce is just driving with a strained smile because he wants so badly to turn around and throw a waterbottle at each of their heads to get them to shut up (of course, it wouldn’t work because not even god can calm down the back of the bus)

Tim and Jason somehow get into this argument of how tim ‘has no friends’ and Tim shoots back that in fact he DOES, that he’s calling them right this instant. And bruce doesn’t even have a chance to yell at them, because now there’s a speedster and a cloned kryptonian right beside the moving minivan and Bruce is lowkey freaking out because none of them (the ones in the van and the ones out) are wearing their superhero costumes, and then Tim is just with his hands pressed on the window and he’s like practically banging the glass and waving and they can’t hear him but he’s like “HEY! HEY HYE HEY YOU GUYS MADE IT!!!” and then dick is just telling them to cut it out and slow down because you know, identities, and Steph is like HOLY SHIT THEY DID MAKE IT and Damian is just sitting upside down with his legs in the backrest off the seat and Duke is in the same position, making fun of Damian because his feet don’t reach.

Kon and Bart seem to get the hint because they slow down, but not before bart has literally jumped towards the MOVING VAN and vibrated through (i’m like 99% sure he is able to do that so-) and then he literally landed on Tim (tim actually softened his fall, because Tim’s back literally made a ~crack~ sound by hitting somebody’s knee) and stood up real quick and then started waving and laughing at kon, who was now running normal-speed beside the van.

And then bruce went FASTER and kon was like WHAT THE HECK OLD MAN and he can’t use his powers so he’s literally running behind the van and bart is laughing his ass off and then tim is like “BRUCE STOP THE VAN!” and then Bart is already calling cassie and telling her what happened and you can hear cassie laughing from over the phone and then Tim is just yelling at bruce in the background. Bruce eventually DOES stop, and Tim opens the door for him and Kon crawls in and Bart’s still laughing, and he’s practically leaning onto Dick and Harper, and they’re squished together and bart’s just laughing on the phone while Kon sits on the really far end of the opposite seat (practically on the door) so he’s the furthest from babs as possible because he’s actually terrified of her. Tim is just sorta awkward because he now realizes that he was a bit TOO excited to see kon, and then the back of the bus/van is staring at them and like what the hell and then Tim goes “who doesn’t have friends, huh?”, and Jason goes ‘pfft’ and he calls roy but he’s spending time with lian; he calls artemis and she goes, “but wasn’t this a family trip? what do you need me for?”, SO jaosn calls bizarro and then he barely answers the phone when bizarro goes “RED HER SAID NO. BYE” so Jason slumps and it’s quiet for a second when steph goes “is that GUM IN MY HAIR”. And then jason laughs and its chaos all over again. (i might make a ‘things that were heard from the back of the road trip bus post bc i have so many ideas oh my god)

and then they are at the beach, the bus barely stops and there’s a few bags thrown out the window, and people yelling at Kon to open the door, and Kon not being able to work under pressure so tim opens it and everyone’s pushing each other and Steph has an uneven strand of hair, because Damian went to ‘extreme measures’ and cut it so now steph’s hair is uneven and they were going to keep cutting it “to make it even” but then Alfred was like “you’re all going to clean the van afterwards so think carefully” and then nobody did anything and there’s literally a ziploc bag with steph’s strand of hair (damian didn’t even cut to where the gum was, he cut even FURTHER but yes, the gum is in the bag).

As I was saying, they get out of the van, and the bags are out and Bruce has NO IDEA what to do. none. It’s alfred that rents a tent and then Damian’s chasing duke into a random restaurant’s changeroom and showers and then cass is dragging harper that’s dragging steph that’s dragging jason and tim is getting the bags with Kon and bart and bart realizes that he doesn’t have a swimsuit and then he stops walking and Kon seems to realize too and it’s like OH MAN and they can’t run back (because no powers, rule set by bruce when two super-powered bros came in the bus) and They’ recarrying the bags to this tent (do you guys know what im talking about? i feel like we’re imagining completely different things- it’s this but much more people and there’s a bunch of people selling stuff like sunglasses and doign hair, piercings, tattoos even - for the tattoos thing it’s just promo for an actual shop they don’t tattoo you in the actual beach - ) and It’s literally Kon, tim and bart carrying the bags (which they CAN carry between the three, it’s not like they packed up half the manor) and then a minute later or so Steph is sprinting towards Tim and she’s yelling something Tim can’t understand and then Steph points at her bag (that tim’s carrying) and she screams something like “SAND! HOT!” and then she’s like high-knee-ing/sprinting even faster and Cass is just walking barefoot in the sand, super calm, but she’s got Harper on her back. Damian and Duke are racing towards the shadow (because the sand is cooler there), and next thing you know Jason’s aready in the tent with a coconut.

And if you haven’t thougth about how the Batfam would be in the beach then let me tell you, you don’t have enough spare time because i know for a FAT FACT that:

It was Jason that insisted on Bruce buying sand toys (a whole bag, i swear)

Damian tried coconut water, didn’t like it all that much (altho he loves the inside- idk what it’s called but it’s edible i swear)

Bruce put on an excessive amount of sunscreen

Duke has swimming trunks with the robin logo just to piss damian off (also Damian has matching ones but with the batman one)

Steph, Cass and Harper rented a banana boat (here’s a picture) and they dragged Jason and Tim along, just to toss them off in the end

Jason 1000% got stung by a jellyfish

Bruce bought like seven friendship bracelets from this guy that made them because they looked deadass cool

They played beach volleyball and let me tell you Damian can throw a really mean overhand serve (actually, i don’t think you THROW a serve, but like,,, serve one-)

dick got buried in the sand, courtesy of Jason

bart was pissy because he couldn’t go in the water, so he and Kon sprinted with normal speed (they both had water-proof anklets that sucked their powers, so it was REALLY a no-powers vacation, courtesy of Bruce, again.)

the only ones in stock were neon, and they settled real quick so now theyre sprinting back and cardying a bag of keychains they thought looked rad as hell and now tim caught up to them and all three are practically skipping towards the water

,,,,they forgot to put sunscreen on.... all of them,,, they forgot....

tim made a sand castle

in teams of two (kon/bart, tim/cass, duke/harper, steph/jason, dick/damian) got on each other shoulders and basically spent five minutes trying to see who would be the last team standing, splashing water everywhere and stuff

first team to go down was Dick and damian, because steph pushed damian and by trying to keep himself on Dick's shoulders, damian accidentally poked dick's eye (sort of CLAWED in so you know what i mean).

second team to go down was steph and jason, because damian doesnt play fair and so he swam down and literally just scratched Jason's ankle, knowing damn well that the jellyfish sting was there. Jaosn shrieked and steph lost her balance. so much for vigilantes at night with stealth and talent, huh.

third team to go down was tim and bart because kon insisted on being on bart’s shoulders and that’s easy peasy because i mean, bart’s not WEAK, but he’s not TALL either and it’s not like Kon weighs a feather and they’re on the deeper side,,,,, you can imagine the rest

Now there’s two teams, and they call it a tie because otherwise someone’s gonna end up injured (altho tim likes to say that he and cass won)

There’s music playing in the background, with really vulgar lyrics that alfred disapproves of, but you know. It’s not his beach.

THIS IS REALLY JUST A SCREAM POST SORRY IT’S NOT WHAT YOU GUYS SIGNED UP FOR BUT TAGLIST ANYWAYS: @red-hood-redemption @screennamealreadyused @bikoncon @catxsnow @thesporklecat @thesesickfics-justmakemesick @hauntingsonofrobin anddd i think i forgot someone sorry

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beautifulgiants · 2 years ago

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Total Film :

The Northman actor Alexander Skarsgård: "It was physically and mentally the most difficult job I've ever had"

By Jamie Graham Contributions from Jack Shepherd

Exclusive: Alexander Skarsgård and Anya Taylor-Joy tell us about their experience filming the Viking epic

Robert Eggers' The Northman tells an epic Viking tale – a vast, brutal, uncompromising saga of cold-blooded revenge. To capture such intense scenes, the cast and crew headed to Northern Ireland, with forays to Iceland, for filming. The result was a shoot more intense than anything lead actor Alexander Skarsgård had done before.

"It was physically and mentally the most difficult job I’ve ever had, but also the most rewarding," Skarsgård tells Total Film for the new issue of the magazine, featuring The Northman on the cover. "The days were really long and hard, and we were out in the mud, and up on these mountaintops with the wind and the cold. The week prior, I was working on the television show Succession, on which I play a tech billionaire in a villa on Lake Como. So I literally went from playing one of the richest dudes on the planet in a crazy, beautiful villa, surrounded by yachts and helicopters and luxury, and got on a plane and flew to Iceland to get shackled and dragged through the mud. It was definitely a waking-up moment and a humbling experience."

Eggers insists that while many of the huge guys playing Viking warriors struggled, The Queen Gambit's Anya Taylor-Joy, who plays the female lead, was a trooper. "Aw, Rob," she responds affectionately when TF passes this along. "I’m not a complainer, and Rob and Jarin know that, but there was one day when the mud was up to my knees, and it had frozen overnight, and I’m barefoot. It had got to a point where I think just squeaked out, ‘Please!’ And they were like, ‘Oh, OK, it’s bad. It’s really bad. We need to get this done. If Anya’s saying, ‘Can we please roll? I can’t stand here any longer...'"

But there is, of course, a point to all this movie masochism. "Because of the authenticity that we’re bringing to it, in terms of the costume, in terms of the landscape... we don’t have to imagine much," Taylor-Joy explains. "You can just inhabit. You can just exist. You’re not on a stage where the director is saying, ‘Hey, remember, it’s really bloody cold.’ It gives you a real appreciation as to how tough these people were. Because nothing about this life is easy. There is no cushy going home and watching a movie while you’re all toasty, eating dinner. No, it’s pretty miserable all of the time."

#beautiful giant #alexander skarsgard #alexander skarsgård #anya taylor joy #the northman #robert eggers #interview

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theotherhufflepuff · 3 years ago

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Simon Snow Trilogy Tarot Cards...

Ok so, a little while ago I saw this frankly stunning artwork by @vkelleyart and I started thinking about the Major Arcana archetypes and how characters from my favourite book series could fit into them.

So I made this list. It took a lot of thought and I’m still not 100% sure on some of them but I have explained my thought process for each card.

I don’t know how much crossover there is in the Venn diagram of “Simon Snow fans” and “tarot readers” but I’d love to hear your opinions and/or alternative suggestions (be respectful though, obviously). I’ve left “visual prompts” for most of the cards explaining what they looked like in my imagination and if anyone wants to draw any of these (or their own alternative version!) please tag me; it would make my day! I can’t draw for toffee so I am 1000% never gonna try to illustrate any of them myself.

List under the cut because it is loooong.

Spoilers ahead for the whole series!

0 The Fool - Shepard - Shepard just follows magickal creatures around and says “yes” to everything... he is the pure embodiment of the Fool archetype to me; care-free, innocent... prepared for everything and yet totally clueless. Visual prompt: Shepard about to (attempt to) step into the fog as he follows a fairy into the forest.

1 The Magician - Penelope - “Penelope Bunce is a fierce magician, I don’t mind saying” Baz, at least once in each book. Penny never worries about not having the power or words available to do whatever she wants; she is comfortable in her power and it is always there, ready to be wielded however she sees fit. Visual prompt: Penny wearing her Stevie Nicks cape, standing by a chalkboard in the classic “Magician” pose, ring clearly held aloft.

2 The High Priestess - Dr Mitali Bunce - Dr Bunce is possibly a more formidable magician than her daughter. Highly intelligent, straightforward and, let’s be honest, judgemental. But she does have all the answers. Visual prompt: Dr Bunce carrying around her laptop, phone sandwiched between her ear and her shoulder.

3 The Empress - Lucy Salisbury - Lucy exudes the nurturing, Earth Mother vibes that are central to the Empress archetype. She saw the best in everyone and all she wanted was to love Davy and live with him in their cottage with her chickens and their child. Visual prompt: Lucy, barefoot and pregnant, feeding the chickens outside of their cottage.

4 The Emperor - Lamb - This is one of the ones I’m not totally sure about. I went through a few different ideas but ultimately settled on Lamb as the “Vampire King of Las Vegas”. He is an imposing figure, ruling his city with an iron fist; if you are in his favour, Vegas is your playground, but cross him and you will suffer the consequences. Visual prompt: Lamb sits on an antique chair in his opulent suite at the Katherine, the lights of night time Vegas visible through the window behind him.

5 The Hierophant - The Mage - Again, this one took some thought and I’m sure some people will disagree with this interpretation... I’m not completely sold on it myself. The Mage was all about reforming the old traditions of the World of Mages and he amassed a following by doing so. But he turned out to be somewhat of a false prophet; abusing his power to oppress those he deemed “the enemy”. Visual prompt: The Mage in his Robin Hood costume, sitting at his desk at the top of the Weeping Tower, surrounded by his piles of banned books.

6 The Lovers - Simon and Baz - Obviously. As stated at the top of this post, I love @vkelleyart’s version of this card, but there are a lot of scenes across the series that could be used to illustrate this archetype. I personally always love to see the original “and then he kisses me” scene.

7 The Chariot - Fiona Pitch - I struggled with this one a bit and I don’t really think that this is the ideal version. But the image of Fiona, rolling up to Blackfriars bridge in her vintage sports car to rescue Baz from the Numpties really stuck with me so that’s what I went with, for lack of a better idea.

8 Strength - Ebb - Ebb is often dismissed and underestimated by other magicians but she is wicked powerful. But more than that, the Strength card is about inner strength, self control and the wisdom to know when to fight, and when to rest. Ebb is highly intuitive about the people - and goats - around her and is always careful not to talk about her twin brother, only conceding that she knows of his presence once a year and never giving in to the temptation to talk directly to him. Ebb saw the war coming and knew that she could probably end it all by herself with the power she had; but she also knew that she didn’t want that and she had the strength to say no, to eschew the expectations the rest of the World of Mages placed upon her and live quietly, instead. Visual prompt: Ebb in the hills behind the school with the goats, she wears a flower crown that the Dryad made her.

9 The Hermit - Agatha - the Hermit eschews the outside world in order to take an inner journey of self discovery, knowing that this is the only way to find real answers and achieve real growth. Agatha, jaded by the World of Mages, took herself off to California, leaving her wand at home. She didn’t know what she wanted but she knew it wasn’t magic. Visual prompt: Agatha sits on the beach at twilight by a small campfire, Lucy the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel by her side.

10 The Wheel of Fortune - The Crucible - The Crucible’s decisions, like the Wheel’s, are unpredictable and inevitable. Once it’s happened, you’re stuck with the consequences - sometimes bad (being stuck with a toff vampire who hates you) and sometimes good (getting the best room in Mummers house).

11 Justice - Natasha Grimm-Pitch - Natasha needed justice to find peace; her whole story is about justice. She was swift to act when the vampires attacked Watford, dispatching them without hesitation. When she came through the veil to find Baz and ask him to bring her murderer to justice, she knew that would also provide some closure for him, too, both for her death, and for his. Visual prompt: Natasha Grimm-Pitch appearing from beyond the veil, looking for Baz and finding Simon.

12 The Hanged One - Nicodemus - The Hanged One is about feeling stuck, but also about finding peace where you are when there’s nothing you can do about it. Nicodemus chose to cross over for eternal life, but he was stricken from the book; his (considerable) magic effectively taken from him and his fangs removed. He was stuck in between - not a full vampire, not a magician; he exists on the fringes of both communities. He got himself there and then he had to figure out how to get by, carve out a place for himself in order to survive. Visual prompt: Nicodemus sits in the tree in the garden of his mother’s house in South London, waiting for Ebb to come and sit on the empty bench beneath him.

13 Death - [scene on the Great Lawn] - Ok, so.. this might need some explaining. My immediate thought for this card was that it should be the Humdrum but Death is all about clearing out the old junk in your life that doesn’t serve you in order to make space for the new. And the Humdrum isn’t making space for anything. So I was thinking about times that has happened in the story and I thought about how the death of the Mage made room for real progress and an end to the war with the old families. Visual prompt: Penny and Baz (literally) run into a fleeing Agatha on the Great Lawn; the Weeping Tower looms in the background, the Mage and Simon visible through the blown-out stained glass windows.

14 Temperance - Simon and the Humdrum - Temperance is, as you might expect, about balance and harmony. Simon used so much magic at once that he couldn’t control it and it tore holes in the magickal atmosphere. Simon had to fill the Simon-shaped hole to restore equalibrium and stop the magickal firmament from collapsing altogether. Visual prompt: Simon kneeling in the Weeping Tower, pouring his magic into the Humdrum as he fades away.

15 The Devil - Smith Smith-Richards - The Devil is about feeling trapped by temptations in your life, often because we’re afraid of what we would do with the freedom we’d have if we let them go. Which got me thinking about Smith-Richards (that name never gets any less ridiculous) and all the magicians who were taken in by the temptation of “fixing” their magic. But it was a false promise and those magicians who narrowly escaped taking Smith-Richards’ spell were all freed from the idea of their magic being “broken” in the first place. Visual prompt: Smith-Richards (looking like the guy who would be cast to play Simon in the Netflix series) standing on a stage in the packed-out White Chapel, rapt audience hanging on his every word.

16 The Tower - The Humdrum - Originally I wanted to use the Weeping Tower for this card because the imagery is on point but the meaning doesn’t match. The Tower is about absolute destruction, the crumbling of something you thought core to your being. The Humdrum steals magic and renders magicians homeless because of it. The Tower is about having to start again from the ground up - just as the Grimms did when all the magic was drained from Hampshire. Visual prompt: The Humdrum, wearing Simon’s face, stands in the grounds of Pitch Manor, laughing. (I have always thought of the holes looking like a burn in a piece of paper - sort of glowing and smouldering at the edges as it eats away the atmosphere. I know the holes can’t actually be seen - the Normals would freak out - but that is imagery I would use here)

17 The Star - Lady Ruth’s candles - The Star is about hope and healing after the devastation of the Tower. Lady Ruth’s candles were a symbol of hope that kept her going when she thought she had lost her children. They provided comfort and, at the end when it became clear the Lucy was gone, the healing of knowing that her child had finally found his way home to his family. Visual prompt: Lady Ruth’s candles in front of a window, a bright star can be seen through the window.

18 The Moon - Agatha and Simon - So, the Moon is all about examining blurred lines between illusion and reality - nothing looks totally clear in the moonlight. It reminded me of how Simon never really seemed to have a clear view of his feelings for Agatha and what their relationship was. When he properly examined his feelings, he found that he didn’t love Agatha and was going through the motions because he thought it was what other people expected of him. Agatha was doing the same. It also brought to mind Simon, going out of his mind worrying about Baz when he was missing - as well as basically every other thought Simon ever has about Baz before Christmas Eve 2015 - and somehow mistaking it for hating him?? Simon is not stupid but sometimes he’s real dumb. Visual prompt: Agatha and Simon meet on the ramparts, both looking for Baz, and break up.

19 The Sun - Simon - This card is all about innocence, optimism and joy. Nothing about this series personifies this more than Simon flying above Shepard’s truck in America, feeling free and hopeful about the future for the first time in over a year. Visual prompt: Shepard’s truck drives through the vast empty desert, the sun beating down. Simon flies above the truck, joy on his face.

20 Judgement - Niamh and Agatha - Ok, this one was hard to figure out and this is maybe not the right solution, but I was very stuck. Judgement is about self improvement through self reflection. As a small twist on that theme; Niamh and Agatha challenge each other’s view of themselves and their interactions with the world around them. Visual prompt: Agatha and Niamh, sweating to death in Niamh’s “shitty Ford Fiesta” (I’m very salty about that line; my Ford Fiesta is lovely and it has aircon). Niamh is frowning, obviously.

21 The World - Simon, Baz, Penny and Shepard - The World is about completeness, the ending of a story, fulfilment and belonging. At the end of AWTWB, Simon has finally found his biological family, he is starting to accept that his boyfriend and his found family love him for who he is, magic or no, and he can finally start to imagine a future for himself. Baz has learned new information about his vampirism, Penny has found new confidence and Shepard is finally fully accepted into the group. Visual prompt: Baz, Penny and Shepard sit on Simon’s sofa (possibly still pink from Baz’s spell, possibly he spelled it navy blue again) Simon sits on the floor. They’re all eating leftover sandwiches and cake from Lady Ruth’s.

#carry on #carry on rainbow rowell #rainbow rowell #simon snow #simon snow trilogy #wayward son #any way the wind blows #awtwb #tarot #tarot cards #major arcana #baz pitch #Penelope Bunce #shepard love #snowbaz

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solangelover · 4 years ago

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AUctober: Day 31 - Halloween!

For @solangeloweek AUctober!

Read on AO3 or FF.Net

A/N: (pretend it’s still October 31st) Happy Halloween!

“It’ll be fun, they said. We’ll be with you all night, they said.”

Nico glared at the empty chairs around him, his friends having ditched him about ten minutes ago to mingle. He swirled the punch in his glass and tossed it back, like if he pretended it had alcohol in it then maybe it would give him some kind of reprieve from this whole experience.

His friends somehow convinced him to go to this “masquerade Halloween ball,” which was just a glorified costume party. Everyone was dressed up, most in something fancy or classy rather than a dumb, makeshift costume like he was used to seeing at Halloween parties. Nico guessed this was what it was like to become an adult—no more trick-or-treating or being jostled around at some house party that he didn’t want to go to. Now, he had to be stiff and uncomfortable in a nicer place that he didn’t want to be at. The only saving grace was that the food was way better.

Nico glanced around, hoping that he was truly invisible at this ball. As much as he didn’t want to talk to people, he also didn’t want to be seen sitting at a table alone. It was a bit embarrassing.

Having given up on finding his friends, or them coming back to the table, his social anxiety finally pushed him to move from his spot and find something to do. The snack table was always a good place to escape to.

As he moved along the table of various Halloween-themed desserts, someone came up behind him and said, “I really like your costume.”

Nico stiffened at the sudden interaction, deciding not to turn around immediately. “I’m just wearing black,” he stated.

“Well, based on your mask, I kind of thought you were Joker. Like, from Persona 5?”

Nico was too shocked not to turn around now. Granted, Joker was now in Smash Ultimate, but still. He didn’t expect to find a Persona fan in this crowd. “Um, I’m surprised you knew that.”

Nico was met with a look he did not expect to see tonight. The boy in front of him was wearing a blue hoodie speckled with white, brown fitted pants, and… no shoes. He raised his eyes up to the guy’s hair, which was sprayed a silvery white with bits of blonde showing underneath. In his hand was a crooked staff, a silvery fringed mask attached at the end which he held up to his eyes.

Nico blinked in surprise. “Um,” he really didn’t know what to say. The dim, bluish lighting of the room made it a bit difficult to see, but he couldn’t deny that the stranger looked good in his simple getup.

The stranger laughed. “I know, my costume is really out of place here.” He leaned in eagerly. “Do you know who I am?”

“Uh,” Nico’s lips quirked up at the corner, unable to contain the happiness he felt at seeing this character at an event like this. “Jack Frost?”

“Yep!” He popped the “p” at the end, seemingly very pleased that Nico guessed correctly. “Also, yeah, I’ve played Persona 5 Royal. It was a more recent thing, but I really liked it.”

“I mean, I mostly dressed as him because I could just wear all black and a mask is a part of his character.” Nico never professed to be a great conversationalist. He hadn’t planned on talking to any new people tonight, so he’s really unsure of what to do at the moment.

Luckily, his conversation partner seemed to be more competent. “Well, I dressed as Jack Frost, one, because I love his character. Two, because I’m lazy and can just wear a hoodie and literally be barefoot. And three, because my friends really wanted to be not-classy at this classy event.” He ended by rolling his eyes. Jack Frost leaned on his staff as he turned around, pointing into the crowd. “See the Mario and Luigi right there?” Nico followed his line of sight and nodded. “Yeah, those are my friends.”

Nico had to laugh. He saw a couple others dressed as Mario and Luigi, but it was more like formal wear inspired by them rather than the actual characters. However, these two went for the authentic look, big hats and mustaches and all. They really did stick out on the dance floor, not just because of their wacky dance moves.

“That seems like way more fun than what these other people are wearing,” Nico commented.

“I know, right?” Jack Frost agreed enthusiastically, turning back to Nico. “I feel like the fancy ball thing really takes the fun out of Halloween costumes.”

Nico smiled. “I was thinking the same thing.”

“Glad we’re on the same page, Joker.” He stuck a hand out. “My name is Will.”

“Nico,” he replied, shaking the outstretched hand.

“So, Nico,” he glanced down at the empty plate still clutched in Nico’s hand. “Since I’m assuming you were just passing time at the snack table, care to join me on the dance floor?”

Nico considered this. He looked down at his plate, back at the empty table he was sitting at minutes ago, and out onto the dance floor where he saw Mario and Luigi still weirdly flailing around. Then, he looked at his new acquaintance, Will, who extended his hand once more, an open invitation. He smiled at Nico, gentle and sweet, his blue eyes sparkling behind his mask.

He set his plate down and set his hand lightly in the other boy’s. “Why not?”

They grinned at each other, Will’s hand closing around Nico’s and tugging him forward. Something pulled in Nico’s chest, and he wondered if there might be something magical in the air after all.

A/N: I was actually intending to have more dancing, include some conversation over slow dancing, use the mask thing to create mystery, but then it just wrapped itself up, so oh well :P Also, Will was definitely checking Nico out from afar, and only approached him when his friends pushed him toward the opening that presented itself (Mario and Luigi are Cecil and Lou Ellen, of course).

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elsewhereuniversity · 5 years ago

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When I first started here, I called myself Ada, because my wordpress as a teen was adamantiumhalfdragonx523 and it was the first thing I thought of when they said I should pick a nickname.

...I know, it’s kinda ridiculous, and I was hoping to present a somewhat more mature persona at college. But at least Ada is an actual name, and I could claim it was after Ada Lovelace instead of my RP blog.

Anyway, I dove into class quickly. Engineering, with an accidental minor in physics: I liked the required courses so I took a few electives, then realized I was only like nine credits away from qualifying for a minor so I went for it. Got immediately bogged down by homework as usual, barely scraping C minuses through humanities requirements and getting extensions wherever I could. I’ve never been good with time management? It’s the adhd.

There were always rumours of strange things happening on campus, but I mean, it’s college. You get drunk larpers and people hallucinating moving shadows from lack of sleep and old buildings with confusing layouts and it’s enough for weird rumours to be spread for months.

There was this weird girl who moved in a couple doors down from me: she turned up around March, I think she was a transfer? Her roommate literally burst into tears and ran away down the hall when I mentioned her, so I didn’t push it. It was a bit weird but I guess they were close with their previous roommate? Don’t know why they left, maybe they dropped out. Anyway, near the end of the semester the girl — she went by hazelnut, I think — invited me to this pre-finals rager out in the woods. I think it was late April, maybe the first of May? Mysty (my roomie) said not to go but I was feeling pretty prepared for my exam so I figured I’d go check it out. She kept, like, tutting at me, and made a big show of pouring salt lines at the window and door and around her bed? I don’t know how you can pour salt sarcastically, but she managed.

It was a pretty decent party, honestly, all through the woods. There was obviously much wilder stuff happening deeper, bright lights and screams and music and stuff, but I met up with a group I vaguely recognized from some class or other, spent a good couple hours playing, like, a music-based chase game around this awesome spiderweb of a slackline rope course someone had set up in the trees, falling off laughingly as we got progressively drunker. Also Cuttlefish (trans dude, marine bio major) with the Bluetooth speaker started skipping erratically between songs with dramatically different genres and beat structures until we all ended up tackling him to make him stop. I was just thinking of heading back to dorm when this girl with really cool dark-fantasy makeup stumbled out of the trees, obviously in distress.

She was dressed in this kinda ragged-but-flowing translucent robe thing over incongruous muddy cargo shorts, barefoot, exhausted-looking, and screaming about being chased. Lark (short girl, I think geology major?) immediately grabbed some big hoola hoops I’d been ignoring (I mean, when there’s a huge multi-tiered rope course with ladders and slack lines and trapezes, hoola hoops don’t stand out) and threw one over Spider-makeup-girl immediately, who kinda collapsed to the ground sobbing in apparent relief, and Lark yelled for everyone else to sit in one as well. Something something salt circles? So we did, kinda bemusedly, two to a hoop.

Spider-girl’s chasers burst out of the trees a moment later, and, like, I had figured Elsewhere must have a pretty substantial cosplay community, considering the larping I’d heard people talking about, but damn these guys’ costumes were good. One had to have been like six and a half feet tall, but they were on tall digitigrade stilts that raised them closer to eight, if you included the mask, and the other had this really clean 4-arm rig and I swear the arms were moving separately. Like, I’m an engineer and I couldn’t figure out how either had put the costumes together, the movements were so smooth they looked practically natural. I hope they get into whatever film studio or props company they want, the prosthetics were definitely movie quality.

Anyway, they came bursting out of the woods, making growling sounds, but they both stopped abruptly when they saw the probably-ridiculous sight of nine twenty-somethings sitting in plastic circles on the grass. I expected them to start laughing, but they were really deep in character.

They kinda circled around us for a moment, sniffing the air. I wanted to comment on their costumes, but everything seemed super serious all of a sudden. Then one of them spoke.

“Have they trapped you, weaver? Do you take salt chains over calm oblivion? Do you think they can hold you against the hunt?”

Their voice was kinda deep and raspy, oddly resonant in the chill night air, like I was only hearing part of it. This was obviously part of some scene, but I dunno. Spider-girl was curled into a ball, shaking, and I felt these guys were taking it too far.

There were a couple moments of tense silence, then Lark spoke up.

“Our bargain is with her, not with you. Leave, or wait out the dark. We aren’t moving.”

The four-armed one literally hissed at that, raising up this ragged crest along their back and flexing all four of their clawed hands.

“If you take her, human, then you take her debts. How certain are you, that you believe yourself capable of filling them? Do you think her gifts worth the cost of her entrapment?”

I still couldn’t tell how the rig was working, there wasn’t much space in their costume for complex pneumatics or anything, which was kinda annoyingly obscure. Was it just puppetry? How the fuck did they get the arms to DO that? And the tall one’s mask, were those articulated eyelids AND ears?

“She is ours, human, hunted and caught. You mettle in affairs of what you know not.”

The big one was circling faster now, striding long-limbed on those stilts. They sounded ominous, but I saw a loophole there, so I spoke up.

“You obviously didn’t catch her? She escaped long enough to find us, and if I understand the setting of your game well enough, we count as scenery or props, not players on the same level as you. So it sounds like she got away on her own and found a hiding place she can wait out the sun, which means you lost and she’s free. Go bug someone else.”

They both roared at that, making charging motions towards us, but thy kept pulling up short about two feet away from the hoola hoops. I’m not gonna lie, it was super intimidating, but they didn’t seem like they were going to get any closer? After like five minutes of this, the tall one broke and ran into the trees and the four-armed one followed, both shrieking.

We stayed in the hoola hoops after that. I would have liked to go back to the dorms, but any time any of us moved Lark started shrieking at us to stay still because it was “dangerous” or whatever. Cuttlefish turned the music back on and we ended up playing a trivia game someone had on their phone. It was super uncomfortable but it could have been worse, especially since I was still pretty drunk, so it was all a kinda pleasant foggyness. I must have dozed off at some point because next thing I knew it was a bit brighter and spider-girl was standing over me.

Her makeup was even better in the twilight, extra eyes and weirdly-textured skin and everything.

“If you are, as you said, merely scenery in which I have found my own escape, then I owe you nothing.”

She looked around at all of us, then at Lark, who was getting up with a murderous expression, then back to me. Up close, I could see my reflection in her eyes, including the six fake ones. They looked intimately real.

“Your words unwind me altogether, even from your would-be friend,” she whispered, just to me, “and I owe you, gift for gift.”

Then, suddenly, she was gone. I saw her bolt to the rope course and up one of the support ropes, much further up than I’d noticed it went, until she disappeared into the treetops. It was impressive.

Lark yelled at me a bit, something something she could have made us all rich? I don’t know, I don’t understand the larp setting well enough to understand the context. And then I went back to my dorm and collapsed into bed. I only got three hours of sleep before I had to get up and take my exam, but I did pretty well on it anyway, got a solid 83%.

Couple days later I heard a sound at the window, and when I went to investigate I found a bundle of fabric on the sill. Unwrapping it, i found a hooded knee-length asymmetrical vest thingy with this really cool greyscale-geometric pattern on it, made from the same flowing material as spider-girl’s robe. It fits perfectly. Mysty made a bit of a fuss when she saw it, but calmed down a bit when I told her the context. I’ve been wearing it ever since, it looks really good over jeans.

Anyway, yeah. Probably the weirdest story I have, though there are some solid contenders, actually....College, you know. Stuff happens.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21751201 (wrote this back in December, forgot to submit it)

#the oblivious #ada hs no fucjing clue what’s actually going on? probably for the best #the salt is in the hoola hoops fyi. portable insta-circle!#submission #long post #stories #i LOVE this #ada #the wild hunt #this is pretty much exactly how I imagine it when i talk about how a majority of students just write weird things off as #just Weird College Stuff #and i think this is the first fic I've read where people USED the hoola hoops full of salt #which is DELIGHTFUL

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skelemira · 3 years ago

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GIVE THE UL SNAS AND ROWAN LORE PLS PLS PLS I NEED THIS

OK FINALLY DONE WITH ART AND ON THE BUS HOME LET'S *DO THIS*

But before I start I should say this is not my characterization, it's actually how my bestest friend @hyacinthlanes characterizes him (she's also the one who drew my pfp btwwwwww I love you Saphhhhhhhh)

Aight so these two motherhuggers are the cutest fRICKING couple you ever will see. So I actually lowkey uh forgot how they met, I don't even think I set it in stone, I think I started writing a oneshot about it and then just straight up didn't finish it lol but I think I'm gonna go with that they meet at Muffet's.

(btw when I refer to Sans and Papyrus hereforth I mean UL Snas and Paps)

So Paps has a bit of a sweet tooth, nothing major just a bit of a craving for pastries now and then, and he knows Muffet is good about not making her pastries with an ungodly amount of sugar, so he pops by every once in a while. So one time he goes to Muffet's and he sees a new waitress. Now Muffet has *never* hired somebody to help her, so that immediately caught his attention. He noticed that she was a little bit awkward, clearly new to waitressing, and a little bit clumsy every now and then, though she seemed a bit more fearful of Muffet when she made mistakes than he thought was brought on by Muffet being a spider.... Especially because Muffet seemed to be acting extra sweet to the waitress. The waitress eventually got to him, asking for his order before stopping herself and apologizing, introducing herself as Rowan and then asking for his order again.

He brought out all the charm he could, and by the end of the conversation he had even coaxed a giggle out of her. It wasn't even much of a giggle, and she quickly stifled it, but he knew in that moment he would do anything to hear her full blown laugh. (In a completely platonic way, dw there is no jealousy. Though perhaps it might go a different way in an au 👀👀👀)

He went home and Sans noticed he was much more upbeat than normal. Usually when he went to Muffet's he was happy but he would go straight for a 5 mile jog to "burn off the sugar", but this time Paps just went into the kitchen to start prepping for dinner, humming merrily.

Eventually Sans pried it out of Paps about the new waitress and how adorable she was, and you just KNOW Sans is a sucker for adorable things so he decided to pay Muffet a visit (though he would definitely get Grillby's after to "atone").

Yeah so uh it took a couple of weeks for him to get around to going to Muffet's, not that he was dreading it, he just takes his sweet time to do something he says he's gonna do.

He steps one foot into Muffet's and curses under his breath.

Because he sees Rowan tentatively confident, making a joke with Muffet as she wiped down a table, and the ensuing giggle had a burst of magic zip through him, apparently so much that Muffet paused in her laughter, her gaze going to him and raising one eyebrow.

(I really just ended up writing a whole thing huh XDDD)

He saw a glimpse of that confident radiance peeking through the walls that seemed to be slowly crumbling and he became resolved to break them down, if just to see what was hiding behind them.

It started with him trying out various comedy routines as she took his order, anything to hear that giggle again (oh my stars she likes *puns*), and it eventually turned to flirting (her blush is *adorable* and he loves it more than anything) which eventually turned to him asking her out. She said yes <3 (obviously lol) and they started going out.

So obviously my boi Sans has some trauma, we hc him here as asexual, but I mean either way being forced to be in constant heat is gonna have some nasty consequences even if you weren't asexual, plus he feels like in other people's eyes he's been reduced to just sex, plus a lot of other stuff that I'm not going to mention bc that's Saph's territory lol (Btw forgot to mention Rowan is panro-ace like me <3 bc self indulgence XDDD)

So having a girlfriend who is also asexual and doesn't *at all* expect sex or even really want it most of the time if at all and who's basically like a best friend but also romantic is just. Exactly what he needs. Their dates are just the cutest and they both understand the other has trauma so when one has days where the "air is heavy" (basically days where it's hard to move or hard to breathe, like the air is too heavy to move through etc) the other is just there for them. ANYWAY they're too cute your honor

So eventually they move in together, think cottagecore and you've got basically Rowan and Oberon's house, they're adorable and their home is so cozy.

There are so many little moments that are just adorable I can't even think of them all but eventually they get married.

I love. Their wedding okay.

Like have you seen that post of a couple that invited their friends to a party they said was a costume party but it was actually their wedding? Yeah that's them. Except the people know it's a wedding, they just can wear whatever the heck the want, the wackier the better. Their wedding is outdoors and full of shenanigans and laughs and I don't quite remember who I had officiate, it might've been Grillby or my friend's sona, but ik Muffet was the maid of honor.

Tho since they shared so many friends it wasn't really a split situation, the wedding parties were all just kind of mixed together. Rowan was barefoot and it was by the edge of a forest so it was very nature-y (Rowan gardens like a LOT I mentioned it like offhand in the last post).

Super super cute.

Now RANDOM TIDBITS

Sans' favourite food is apple pie. Why? Because Rowan smells like apples. (Or it's her scones bc goshDANG they are good).

Rowan's favourite color is the purple of Sans' eyelights.

Sans (with Papyrus' help) builds Rowan a greenhouse with floating pink magic lights and it's the most romantic fricking place ever.

When their relationship is first starting to get serious, they plant a tree together (a Rowan tree aha). (If/when they have kids, the kids would play underneath that tree).

Sans' favourite colour is the red of Rowan's hair (it looks pink in the picture but it's kind of a pinkish red, like a pink lady apple).

Rowan and Papyrus have such a good relationship with each other man. Like when Paps finds out Rowan is drinking **EVERCLEAR** every night he is like absolutely Not you uncultured swine (affectionate) and so he starts up a Wine Night with her. Every Thursday he brings a new wine for them to try while maybe doing a puzzle or just chatting or baking or something. Together they become wine connoisseurs (bro I spelled that right the first time without autocorrect look at me go)

Ok I'm rambling at this point but uh yes <3 you're also free to ask me random questions about these two if you'd like!!!! Thank you so much for the ask Hyper beloved <333333 literally Saph is like almost the whole reason UL Sans is my husband now lol.

#ask #oc #Rowan beloved #UL Sans #Underlust Sans #Sans x OC #x sona??#anywhodles #I love these two okay I live vicariously through Rowan just to get some goshdang cuddles

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gingersimasnaps · 4 years ago

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True Colors (Vera Stone/Hamish Duke)

Title: True colors Word count: 4601 Summary: Vera Stone needs to paint her living room. Hamish Duke is ready to help. fluff&smut; OOC Vera; AU - law office

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„Mr. Duke, don’t you really have better things to do than watching me?“ CEO of Blue Rose Law Office Vera Stone was standing with her back turned to him, reading through some documents she pulled out of a shelf.

Hamish blinked. Was he really that obvious, or did she just… know? Because that was exactly what she was doing. She knew things. She knew that Angus, complete idiot from analytic department, smoked a cigarette on the toilets at the opposite end of the building, even though no smoking was rule number one in the office. She knew who hacked his colleague Nicole’s phone and sent photos of her and her girlfriend to almost everyone, though the evidence didn’t exist, and police IT specialists came empty handed. She knew when some employee wanted to call in sick, hours before the employee even thought about this idea.

„Hmmm… Actually no, I don’t think so,“ answered Hamish. Vera turned to him with rigid expression on her face, but when he smirked, she just rolled her eyes. If it was someone else, she would probably just wipe them out of the face of the Earth. It was more than obvious she had a soft spot for Hamish.

Blue Rose Law Office was well known across the whole city of Belgrave. For its quality too, of course, but mainly for the fact it was almost hermetically closed for ordinary people. Unless you were a spoiled descendant of some high-ranking snob, you didn't have a chance to get into the Blue Rose. But about a year and a half ago, it was discovered that CEO Edward Coventry, who was also high seated in the city council, was tunneling Blue Rose for his own enrichment. He had been doing so systematically and successfully for several years, with the help of influential clients who owed him for saving them from justice. After the truth came out, he was removed from management. No one was too surprised when he ran away. It has been speculated that he‘s been hiding on his private island Vade Maecum in the southern Caribbean.

Vera was selected to be the new head of the office. It was a logical step. Surprisingly, as the newest member of the Gnostic council (seriously, this company was so snobbish, that their managing board was named Gnostic, and even people had their rankings – Hamish was currently a Magistratus, which was pretty high for a newcomer), she exposed Coventry's unfair practices and helped to break his entire plan. Her promotion was the reward. And simply because she was Vera Stone, she drastically changed established practices. She hired a whole bunch of young, relatively ordinary people to join the company. Some left after a shorter or longer time, but otherwise it turned out that Vera really knew where to reach - most of the new staff had proven to be very capable and useful to the office. Everyone got an assigned person, something like a tutor. Hamish had no idea how he ended up under the leadership of Vera Stone herself, but although his friends from the office either teased him mercilessly about that or pitied him, he was happy with the outcome. He had always been able to appreciate a strong person in leadership. And Vera was definitely such a person.

They’d been working together for a little over a year, during which time they built a working relationship based on trust in each other's decisions, on the fact that they both excelled in something different and complemented each other perfectly, on the long nights they spent over documents and contracts… And also on the tension that was between them. Not hostile, definitely not. He had once thought it came from Vera's reluctance, or perhaps outright inability to trust anyone, but now, for some time now, he had been sure that what was literally sparkling the air between them was a mutual attraction that the two were trying to fiercely suppress. But it was precisely these moments - when Hamish made some cheeky remark and she didn‘t kill him for it - that proved that they may not be as strong as they seem at first glance.

"Okay," Vera sighed, snapping the file closed and putting it back in its place. "I think we should call it a night. It's late, and I have work tomorrow. "

"Here?" Hamish asked, and dug his heels on the ground to pull his body into a slightly more upright position. He sat in a comfortable office chair, and during the evening he had made himself even more comfortable by sliding down.

"No," the blackhaired woman replied, walking back in her awfully high heels to the table where she sat on her own chair. "I need to paint the living room. I have a day off tomorrow for the first time in ages, so it‘s the right time. "

"Paint? Will you paint — like by yourself? ”Hamish said this before he could stop himself, and this time Vera really gave him a hard look.

"There's something surprising about that, Mr. Duke? ”

"Of course not," Hamish replied. "I was just wondering if you wouldn‘t want to… help."

And here it was again. He really meant it as just an offer of help, but for some reason it sounded like he was offering her help with something completely different. Vera looked at him.

"Hm," she said, resting her chin on her index finger, "it's true that I could probably appreciate a… man's hand." He didn‘t believe she wasn't flirting with him now. He leaned in a little.

"So what time?" God, it really sounded like they were arranging some secret rendezvous at a hotel.

"Eight o‘clock," Vera replied. "Sharp." She got up, picked up her purse, and headed for the door.

"Are you going to spend the night in my office?" She asked him as she had her coat draped over her arm, and Hamish still showed no signs of getting up.

"Not today," he told her, as if he intended to any other night. She rolled her eyes at him again and let him pass so she could lock her office. Together they went to the underground garages. There was silence on the elevator ride, and Hamish wondered what she was thinking about.

"Good night, Grand Magus," he told her as she unlocked her car and was about to get in it. The Grand Magus was a nickname given to her by one of the newcomers. Hamish would bet anything it was his friend Randall. Of course, the nickname reached her, but probably no one had dared to use it right in front of her yet.

Vera narrowed her eyes and gave him a slightly ironic smile. "I hope you haven't forgotten what I said. Sharp. ”She got into her luxury SUV and started the car. Hamish smiled and opened the door to his car. Vera was already leaving when he took off. He noticed that she was watching him in the rearview mirror. The prospect of painting had never been more interesting, he thought, and he also drove home to get a good night's sleep before tomorrow's work.

The next morning, at exactly eight o'clock, he rang the bell at Vera's house. When she opened the door for him, he was quite surprised. He only knew her as the leading person of the office in her ‚CEO's uniform‘, which included a dress or nice costume, and high heels. But now she stood before him barefoot, in leggings and a plain white T-shirt, her hair tied in a messy knot.

"Did you swallow your tongue along with your breakfast?" Vera asked, pulling him out of his contemplation of her outfit.

"No," he replied. "But when someone needs to start painting at eight in the morning, even if they have the whole day off, they have to count with the fact that not everyone is a morning bird." Vera rolled her eyes at him again – that was slowly becoming their sign - and let him go inside. Hamish took off his shoes and coat and handed her a box. She looked at him questioningly.

"Those are doughnuts. No tarantula is going out of it, ”he grinned, watching in astonishment as Vera shuddered with disgust.

"Don't talk about spiders in front of me. Never."

“Arachnophobia? I wouldn't tip you on that. ”He followed her into the living room, which was connected to the kitchen. "I wouldn't tip you on orange, either," he added when he saw the kitchen walls.

"It's apricot," she corrected him immediately. "Did you come to solve my phobias or paint?"

"Depends on the situation," Hamish replied nonchalantly. He went to the living area. Vera had already managed to cover the floor with plastic and move all the things that weren’t too heavy for her to be picked up by herself. Together with Hamish, they set out to push the heavy, massive furniture away from the walls to access them.

"Really, is such furniture necessary at all?" Hamish snorted. "If you don't want it to fall apart after five days of use, it is," Vera snapped, almost out of breath. Fortunately, they had the last chest of drawers left. Hamish went to her to take down the photos of her. There were two. In one was Vera with some young, redhead girl. They seemed to be related. He had probably never seen his boss laughing so cheerfully as in the picture.

"That's my niece," Vera said, suddenly appearing beside him. "Laura."

"I didn't know you have a niece."

"That’s pretty logical," she told him. "Theoretically, you shouldn’t be bothered with my personal life, especially considering that most employees think I don't even have any, but if you're already holding the photo…" she shrugged.

"Are you close?" Hamish asked. "And I don't think you don‘t have a personal life."

"Um, I suppose yes, we are. She lived here with me for a few years, but then she decided to attend Yale and moved there." Hamish decided not to ask why Laura didn't live with her parents.

"What is she studying?"

"Law." It was Vera who grinned now for a change, and Hamish chuckled.

"Runs in the family, apparently."

"Yeah, sort of."

He set the frame behind him in the prepared box, and took another, a little smaller, in his hand. "Is this Laura, too?" He asked another question, showing the photo to Vera. He saw her features stiffen.

"No. Katharine. My daughter, " she replied in a tone that made it clear she would not answer the next question about the baby in the picture, and snatched it from his hand. Hamish understood, of course, but that didn't mean it didn't ignite his curiosity. He didn't need to extract evidently painful memories from her. But he wanted to get to know Vera. Not CEO Stone, but Vera. The woman who painted the walls herself, had a niece studying law at Yale and who had just played a music CD from ABBA.

"Can we get started?" She threw a paint roller at him.

"Sure, Magus. What color? ”

"White first, to make the color brighter. Then red. "

"I didn't expect anything else." After half an hour of painting, he realized that Vera was humming in a low voice along with the CD. He stopped and listened. His parents insisted on a music education, so as a child he was attending piano classes. He had never felt any great love for it, but right now he wished he could play the piano along with her singing, which sounded very good. Voulez-vous song ended, and – of course - Does Your Mother Know came next. Hamish began to hum, too. As soon as Vera heard that, she raised her voice a little. You're not gonna win this one, the blonde thought, and also added to the volume. Before long, they both sang as if they were at a concert, while the original tape of ABBA was barely audible. When the song ended, the two laughed. More, Hamish thought again. More of this sweet laughter.

After the white paint dried, they dug their rollers into the red color, but halfway through the walls, Vera let out a huff.

"That looks awful," she said, expressing the thought Hamish had had in his head from the beginning.

"I agree," he nodded. "We need to repaint it white again."

"Are you sure?"

"It can't get any worse."

"Cheeky," she told him with a smirk. As it was almost 4PM, they decided to take a break, and eat the dougnuts-not-tarantulas he brought. Then they went to work again.

Taking advantage of Vera's good mood, Hamish decided to tease her. He grabbed a brush, dipped it in paint, crept up behind her, and ran it over her nose during her unguarded moment.

"HEY!" Vera shouted, turning sharply to see Hamish's perfectly satisfied expression. "You’re so gonna pay for this,“ she growled with a sly smile, turning her back on him.

"I want to see that," he replied, turning back to his part of wall. He was alert, but probably not enough. At one point he bent down to dip the roller in the paint - and at that moment Vera's hand, soaked in white paint they were using, landed on his black T-shirt.

He looked at her, and suddenly an immense desire to kiss the triumphant grin on her face seized him. But then something better occurred to him. He grabbed her in his arms, making her yelp in surprise, and in one smooth motion he pressed her against the freshly painted wall. „So who won?“ he said, face centimeters from hers. It looked like she would want to fight and get out of his grip, so he pushed his knee inbetween her legs, to hold her in place. Vera gasped.

„This is not a… game, Mr. Duke,“ she said under her breath.

„Oh yeah? I had a feeling we could be a little playful since it’s our free day.“ Hamish let go one of her hips, only to pull the rubber band out of her vantablack hair, to let them fall freely all over the white, wet wall. His palm brushed a few strands out of her face, and when he shifted a little, his knee rubbed against Vera’s leggins, close to her center. Vera almost closed her eyes and arched against him a little, and that was all he needed.

He kissed her so heatedly and passionately, that he earned another whimper from her. Vera wounded her arms around his neck and when he pulled his leg from between her legs and gripped her butt instead, she wrapped her legs around him. Hamish finally detached her from the wall and backed off to where he suspected the couch was. Vera took his bottom lip between her teeth. His strong hands on her ass were driving her mad. She was coming home aroused almost regularly since they started working together, and first thing she would do when she got back to her house was to touch herself. Hamish and his damned smile, kind eyes, and the oh so intoxicating smell… She always ended up imagining it was his hand carresing her down there. And now, it was going to be finally, finally, finally true.

The blonde guy eventually opted to lay her on the fluffy white rug, not the couch, not letting go of her lips for one second. Vera closed her eyes when those lips touched that sensitive spot on her neck for the first time, and a soft moan escaped her. She tangled her hand in his hair and arched her back again a little. When she opened her eyes again, Hamish’s t-shirt was gone, and she had no idea how he did it. She forgot about it though, as soon as his hands gripped the hem of her own t-shirt, and took it off, along with her sport bra.

"So beautiful," whispered Hamish, his breath hot against her skin, and it sent a wave of arousal all the way down to her already wet slit.

„Gosh,“ she panted, when Hamish took one of her nipples into his mouth, and began sucking on it. Hamish smiled at her cunningly, and gently bit the nipple. Vera felt small pain, immediately soothed out by his tongue, and if she ever experienced heaven, it was right now. She heard some sounds of pleasure, and realized it was her own voice. God, what was this man doing to her… He could be literally just casually standing somewhere, wearing his smile, and she would consider it a turn on. But the only thing standing now was his cock, which was visible through his pants. Vera wanted to reach down and palm his bulge, but right just as she was raising her hand, Hamish decided to lick her stomach all the way down, right to the waist of her leggins.

"Oh God!" Vera dug her nails into his shoulders, feeling everything inside her twist with desire. Hamish bit the skin on her belly, and then, very impatiently, just ripped her pants and panties away.

"I should probably require a compensation for this," Vera panted. Hamish’s face appeared abover hers.

"Shut up, Magus," he growled, and kissed her so deeply that her brain just stopped for a while. Her hands were working on their own, clawing his back and leaving long red marks on it, soothing it right after with tender palm caresses. His kiss didn’t last long, though, and before she even tried to make her brain work, she felt Hamish’s tongue circling her pussy, but not touching her where she wanted him the most.

When the almost painful pleasure became too much for her to bear and Vera was literally trembilng with desire, she was torn between loving him and wanting to kill him.

"Hamish, please, please, stop teasing me," she almost sobbed, and in the way his lips moved upward against her sensitive flesh, she understood this was what he wanted her to do the whole time. The tip of his tongue touched her clit and she jerked her hips to him. He was unbelievable. Unbelievably goo-

"Jesus fuck!" Vera cried out loud, when Hamish put his whole mouth on her pussy and his tongue began attacking her swollen clit. She was dripping wet, good God, he was making her wetter than she ever been in her whole life - and she had had some good sex before.

She held his head close to her center with her thighs, almost as if afraid he will pull back, and leave her alone with this unbearable desire. But Hamish had no intentions to do so. Her mound had the most intoxicating smell, and it felt like silk, hot silk, and tasting her was already his favorite thing to do.

Vera bucked her hips to him, being so painfully, breathtakingly close… And then Hamish slid two of his fingers into her, curled them slightly, and started fucking her, excrutiatingly slowly. When he sucked her whole clit into his mouth and thrusted his fingers‘ full length into her, it sent her over the edge. She cried out with pure exctasy, eyes closed, back arched, ankles crossed behind his back, wishing for this feeling to never end.

Hamish was kissing his way back up, and when he captured Vera’s mouth once again, she could taste herself in his honey-like kisses, and it felt better than any other thing she had ever tasted. He slipped one arm under her back and then spun them around abruptly. Vera let out a surprised yelp, because she was suddenly sitting on him, and Hamish had to steady her by holding her hips.

"Easy, lady," he smiled. Vera felt like she could fly, but he was still so hard against her right thigh, and she thought it would be fair to give him release too. Who cares about painting, after all.

She kneeled beside him and took his pants down. At first, she only caressed him through his boxers - Calvin Klein, apparently he had some style - but he tried to prey her hand off.

"You don't have to-"

She cut him off with a finger on his lips. "I want to. And you definitely don't want to open a dispute with your boss.” With that, she pulled his underwear down, and took him in her soft, warm hand. Hamish supressed a moan. This woman is really one of a kind, he thought, when her hand moved up and down on his cock. When she bent her head down and took him in her deliciously hot mouth, teasing the tip of him with her tongue, another moan worked its way out of him. Even the plain sight of her head between his legs was almost too much, and her mouth felt so good and right… It didn’t took her more than a few minutes to make him come. The last thing he did before his seed spurted was to pull her back. For some reason he didn’t feel comfortable by the image of Vera swallowing his sperm - she was too precious for such thing.

They both needed a while to steady their breaths. Two piles of their clothes laid around them and half red, half white walls were waiting for them, but the two couldn’t care less. Hamish was first to stand up, and he pulled Vera with him, only to take her into his arms again. Vera wrapped her legs around his waist again, but this time, she took his face in her hands, and kissed him. Her long hair blocked him the view, so after a few steps, he stubbed his toe and fell forward. Fortunately, it was her couch. Vera squeaked, when her back hit the pillows, and he fell face first on her chest. She started laughing.

"Oh my God, this is like D grade category movie," she said between giggles. Hamish couldn’t help himself, and joined her in the laughter. He kissed the vale between her breasts.

"I think we need a shower."

“Definitely. We don't want to be sticky, “ Vera nodded. "Come." She got up from the couch, took his hand, and led him upstairs, to her big bathroom with an enormous bathtub.

„Of course,“ Hamish muttered with amusement. "Wouldn't expect anything less."

"Well, I like my comfort," she shrugged, and bent over the rim of the tub to turn the water on. Hamish felt himself twitch again at the sight of her beautifully shaped ass. Again, he couldn't help himself. He let his fingers travel lightly along her spine and over her butt. Then he lifted her and put her into the tub.

"Impatient, are we?" Said Vera with the tiniest of smiles.

"You are the one who will be profitting from it," Hamish answered, and pushed her to the corner of the tub, where she could sit. She watched him, intrigued. The man kneeled in the water, and pulled her legs apart. Vera felt her breath quickening already, and when he attacked her mound with his tongue and fingers again, she literally saw stars. If she expected something from their… painting job today, it was quick sex, at most. But of course, this was Hamish Duke, the most extraordinary man she ever met in her whole life. She should've known it won’t be just fucking. Not now, not ever.

Soon, her moans and grunts and "there, yes, like that, yes," filled the bathroom. After a while, when she was already close, Hamish's mouth left her pussy, and she felt a flash of anger, but then he brought their foreheads together and instead of his tongue, he pressed his thumb against her clit - and it gifted her with another orgasm, way more bigger than the first one. He didn't stop, though, and another huge wave soon ripped through her.

Hamish was watching her as she was slowly coming from heights back to him, and wondered if he would ever get enough of this sight. His boss‘ cheeks were tinted from the arousal, blue eyes were staring nowhere, and her legs were slightly shaking. God, he wanted to be inside her so badly… He quickly pulled her down to him, as she was still supple, leaned her against hir chest, and soaped her body.

Vera let him to do to whatever he wanted to her. She felt like she was under some spell. Maybe he was some kind of a magic practitioner, because she never felt like this around any man. But again, Hamish was different than all the men she met. So when he rinsed the soap from her, pulled her out of the tub and wrapped her in a bathrobe, she found his face with her hands.

"I want you," she whispered, lips pressed against his ear. And Hamish, being Hamish, bowed a little. For some reason, it turned her on even more than she already was, because who wouldn’t be after three amazing orgasms? They went to her bedroom together.

This time, both of them wanted it to be slow. Hamish was covering her whole body with kisses, Vera was caressing his torso. "Now," she whispered after a few minutes, or maybe hours?, but he already knew. Slowly, tenderly, his slid his member into her wet, silky, hot entrance, stayed still for a while, and then they moved simultaneously. Like they were made for each other, no matter how much it sounded like a cliché.

Even though Vera had never believed in such staged movie bullshit, they found their release together. When her walls started clenching around him a little, Hamish took one of her insanely long legs, and put it on his shoulder, so he could go deeper. Vera threw her head back, and in the very moment when her fourth orgasm of the day hit her and she came with his name on her lips, she felt Hamish spill himself deep into her, whispering "Vera“ several times over.

Hamish slid out from her, fell on his back, and Vera laid her head on his shoulder. She was completely worn out and her core and thighs ached, but it was the most beautiful kind of pain.

“Am I good? Painter? ”Hamish asked, still little out of breath, and Vera couldn’t supress a giggle.

"The best," she answered, and placed a tiny kiss on his chin. "We both are. We should quit being advocates and start a painting company. "

"Speaking of being advocates, how am I supposed to work with you now? Not happening. "

"Well, I can always shift you to someone else."

Hamish dragged his nails down her arm. "Also not happening."

"Thought so," Vera smirked. "I have to clean up the mess downstairs," she sighed after a while.

“Let it be for now. I will come tomorrow to help, “offered Hamish. Vera propped herself on one elbow and stared at his face.

"What?" He asked, clearly confused. "Did I say something wrong?"

Vera slowly shook her head. "No. I just… Stay the night." She didn’t exactly believe herself, because she never let anyone stay with her, no matter if it was after fucking or not. But when Hamish’s smile grew wider, she knew she made the right choice.

"As you wish, Grand Magus,“ he said, laughed when she again rolled eyes on him, and sat up, but just to pull the blanket over them. Vera hesitated for a heartbeat, but then just decided to give up and snuggled against him. Hamish dropped a kiss on her hair and protectively put his arm around her stomach.

It was the first night in ages without a single nightmare for her.

#fanfiction #vera stone #hamish duke #vera/hamish #vermish #theorder #alternateuniverse #smut #fluff #OOC #I really don't know how to write a proper fanfic in English

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purplesurveys · 5 years ago

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497

Have you ever cut your own hair? Nope, my mom would never allow me; and tbh I never would allow myself to do it either. What do you eat most frequently? Rice. I have it for every meal, 7 days a week. Except for when I have pasta. Are you a fan of video games? I’m a fan of watching people play them, and there are a lot of video games I have sentimental attachment to because I was raised in a home where all the boys knew how to work a console; but I myself don’t play. What's your favorite color combination? Black/white with anything earthy. I’m all for simple tones. Did you share a locker at school? No, we all had our own.

What's one sport you could never play? Basketball. I never could understand what the rules were. When we had basketball for PE in high school, I would literally just stand on the court when it came time to play because I never had a grasp on the game. I was a sucky teammate fosho. Blue or black ink? Black. I hate using pens with blue ink. Have you ever sang karaoke? I think the last time was when I was 12 or 13. I hate hate hate being the center of attention and the last thing I want is to sing (which I don’t do) on a microphone that’s gonna amplify my voice and will force people to look at me. What was the last concert you attended? Man it was nearly a year ago, but it was Paramore. Have you held anyone's hand in the past week? Yup, you just barely caught the timeframe! I last held hands last Thursday, exactly a week from today. What's your favorite perfume/body spray/cologne? I bought Beyoncé’s Heat Rush a few years back because I was a huge fan (still am), but I didn’t know I was gonna end up loving the scent so much. It’s still my perfume today and it’s my go-to when I’m going on a date or going somewhere fancy and/or formal. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 45 minutes should be generous enough. I have to beat the traffic everyday so I don’t devote a lot of time simply to get ready. What is the oldest age you think should wear makeup? No age is too old for makeup. How old were you when you went on your first date? I’ve never had a first date per se...I did have one special museum + early dinner ‘date’ with Gab that ended up becoming memorable. I was 16 then. What's your nationality(ies)? Filipino. Pretty sure there’s some distant, distant Spanish blood somewhere down the line. Are you an open book? Very open. Do you think you're a good secret keeper? For the most part, yeah; but there’ll be times that I wouldn’t be able to help it and spill to Gabie. Which is fine, because she forgets things easily and is 101% not up to date with and doesn’t care for anyone’s lives. She’s super unbothered which is why I kinda choose to tell her stories; but if she had a big mouth, then I probably won’t spill secrets to her. Name one fashion trend you could never follow. Oversized shirts. Do you prefer long hair or short hair? Right now, I’m preferring short. When do you plan to go to sleep tonight? Just my bed. Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yes. If so, who? My girlfriend. What exotic animal would you love to have as a pet? NOPE. Do you want kids when you're older? Yeah, I do. Did your parents sign you up for anything you hated as a child? They made me sing to 100+ guests on my 7th birthday party if that counts. I had ballet when I was 5, but it wasn’t that I hated it...it’s just that I was too young to understand what was happening and what I was signed up to, which was partly why I did so badly in the class. Where's your cell phone? I lost my first cellphone on a 1st grade field trip, so it’s definitely somewhere in the waterfalls we went to 14 years ago. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Egg. What are your feelings about Octomom? I don’t really know the circumstances surrounding her, so. Do you know of Smosh? Of course, I grew up watching them. I was there when their popularity exploded, and a little longer after that. I don’t anymore, but sometimes I’ll go back and watch their 2011-2013 skits, and my personal favorite series of theirs, Lunchtime with Smosh. Do you drink enough water daily? Yep. I looooooove water; I probably drink too much of it haha. Is your diet healthy? I think it *could* fall under healthy? I eat too much junk for my life but I always balance it out with veggies and I just basically make sure that everything else I eat can be beneficial for me, so it balances all the junk out. What's your favorite fruit? Yeah no I hate fruit. What was your favorite Halloween costume? The year when I dressed up as AJ, because I got noticed by her for it. Also the time I dressed up as Sofie, because that was lowkey hilarious. Have you purchased any cool objects from a foreign country? No because everything in other countries (at least the ones I’ve been to) is SO EXPENSIVE. I prefer taking photos, they serve as the best souvenirs for me. Are you on a laptop or a desktop computer right now? Laptop. Where do you plan to post this survey? On my Tumblr, which you’re on right now if you’ve reached this point of the survey. Do you remember anyone's number by heart? Just my mom’s, sister’s, and Gabie’s. Are you a morning person or a late night owl? Night owl, definitely. Name something you will never try in your lifetime. Fruits that I haven’t already tried. What do you think is your biggest flaw? I chicken out of certain things because I’m afraid of failing. First physical trait you notice in the sex you're attracted to? Body language. That technically counts right? Hahaha. How about personality wise? How they speak to me. Are you sick often? I’m sick never. Would you rather have strep throat or an ear infection? I’ve had neither and would like it to stay that way thank you??? When did you last shower? A couple of hours ago, because it was weirdly and annoyingly hot today. Do you have neat handwriting? Yes, I get a lot of compliments for my penmanship. Are you a messy or organized person? Depends on what the space is. My bag for school can get very messy, but my files are always organized; and my room is what I’d call messy-organized in that it’s a mess but I remember where every single thing is. At what age do you hope to get married? 27-28. Is being thin really all that great? I don’t hate being it, that’s for sure. Which of the seven deadly sins do you think you're most guilty of? Envy. How much time have you spent on the computer today? Pretty much the whole day. My body wanted to watch a whole season of Queer Eye today haha.

What size shoe are you? 6-7. How was the weather today? Ugh, MAKE IT RAIN ALREADY. Do you live above, below, or on the Equator? Above the equator, but it’s very very close to it. Do you know how to use Photoshop? Nope. Admit it, you're thinking about someone right now. I’m thinking about the next meal I’m gonna be having lmfao. Where is he/she? It’s in the dining area. Where was your first job? I haven’t had one yet. Favorite year in high school? 3rd or 4th. East or West? East? Where did your first kiss take place? On my bed. What color do you wear most often? I can’t tell which but it’s definitely black or white.

Who was the last person you talked on the phone to? Gab. Have you ever been to a night club? Nah, I don’t know if clubs are my thing. I’m much more comfortable in bars. Are you allergic to anything? I’m not. What's the best place you have ever eaten? The buffet at Circles, Sambokojin, or the food I had at my cruise ship vacation. I really can’t pick. Do you own a hair straightener? I don’t have one of my own, but my mom will let me borrow hers if I need it. Are you barefoot right now? Correcto. Are you subscribed to any magazine? Nope. Puppies or kittens? Puppies. If you had a billion dollars, where would your first investment be made? A modern, spacious house. Who is the best artist you've seen live? PARAMORE YOOOOOOOOOOOO. They connect with their fans so well and you can easily tell you love what they do. Coldplay is a very close second as their production value is fucking insane. Any major plans coming up this week? No not really. I have a date with Gab tomorrow and we’re gonna go out and watch Midsommar, but that’s it for this week. She, Angela, and I are taking a road trip to Nasugbu next Monday though so that’s pretty major. Did you know they never told you Arnold's last name in Hey, Arnold? I never really thought about it. Would you rather watch a romantic comedy or watch a thrilling horror movie? OMG, my two favorite genres :( I’m watching a horror flick tomorrow so I can go for a romcom right now. Why is Paris Hilton famous? Because of her great-grandfather and her Iconic show with Nicole Richie hahaha. How is your hair styled right now? It’s just down and dried out right now.

Favorite person that you've talked to today? Angela. Do you need AC right now? AC is always a good idea in the Philippines. Do more people call you by a nickname or your first name? My first name is already my nickname/given name. Name something you're proud of. Still being here. How do you feel about couples who say 'I love you' too soon? No judgment. If that’s how they communicate and if it works, so be it. What's the most recent favor you've done for somebody? I drove Laurice to UPTC last Tuesday so she can catch her bus going back all the way to Alabang. Are you at home right now? Yesssssssss I’m so happy to just be at home this whole week. What did you last spend money on? My parking fee at UPTC. Does any accent annoy you? No. How about turn you on? I like certain English accents but not to the point where they turn me on haha. Are you wearing any jewelry? Not right now. Do you get along better with your mom or your dad? Dad. Are you craving anything right now? BURGERS What's worse: Crocs or Uggs? Crocs. Do you knock before you open doors? Yeah, as much as I can. Do you know what a sock on the doorknob means? I think Penny from Big Bang Theory was the one who explained that this means that there are people having sex in the room, but then again it was a tie on the doorkob in that episode so I dunno if they still mean two different things. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. What's your zodiac sign? Taurus. Does Fred from Youtube annoy you? No, not really.

#survey #surveys

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incorrectsmashbrosquotes · 6 years ago

Text

A Smash Kid Halloween Pt 2: Night of the Living R.O.B

After the group finished their candy rounds and split up, Dark Pit’s group cut through the dark woods to get to the graveyard. For about a solid hour, they’ve just been lying in a circle staring up at the sky.

“You guys ever wonder why some of us can’t touch our hands over the top of our heads?” MegaMan asked.

And questions. They also asked questions

Dark Pit shifted his gaze to the right, where he saw MegaMan in his Phoenix Wright outfit and the open spot where Bowser Jr was sitting until he said he went to use the bathroom. He sighed. “Maybe because some of us are built different.”

Dark Pit came thinking that this would be somewhat thought provoking, or somewhat scary. But so far, the only thing they’ve done tonight was go to a lot of homes and get candy. Now they’re in a middle of a graveyard, asking questions. Most of which didn’t require much thought.

“If Ditto turned into the Ice Climbers, would he turn into one of them or both of them?” Leaf asked.

Dark Pit looked to his left. Leaf had changed her Attack on Titan soldier outfit to an outfit resembling the Platelets from Cells at Work. Beside her was Blue, who was sporting an Ike outfit with his roller on his back, and Young Link in his Skull Kid outfit, who from his viewpoint fell asleep.

He was about to answer her question with a sarcastic response, but paused. No matter how he thought about it, that was a good question. This was one of the questions that he had to think about.

“Okay, D.P. Your turn.” Blue told him.

Dark Pit looked at the Inkling. “Uh…I haven’t thought of a question yet. You can go next."

Blue shrugged and sat up. "You ever wonder��what’s going on at our homes? Like, do they notice we’re gone and are freaking out about it?”

“I can tell you that.” MegaMan told him. “Red and I asked Master Hand about that a while ago. He said he and Crazy already took care all of that.”

“How?” Leaf asked.

“Dunno. Crazy Hand said not to think about it too much.” MegaMan said. “They probably have clones or something.”

A few seconds after he had said that, Dark Pit rose up and stretched. “Oookay, this was a slightly fun thing we did. I’m gonna go to the candy site or whatever.” He then walked off to the woods.

Blue, Leaf, and MegaMan all exchanged worried glances.

————————–

“They probably have clones or something.”

Those words echoed through Dark Pit’s head as he walked through the dark woods with his arms crossed. He flinched during every step since for Pit’s costume idea (KO and TKO), they had to be barefoot for it. “Tch! Stupid Pit. Making me walk around a forest with no footwear. Not knowing that this hurts a lot.” He muttered.

“Yo, D.P. Everything cool?”

Dark Pit turned around and saw Leaf and Blue standing behind him.

“…Peachy.” Dark Pit answered.

“It’s just…you stormed off after what MegaMan said and-” Blue started.

“It’s fine.” Dark Pit told him, in a slightly angrier tone. He turned around again.

“D.P. Be real with us. Is everything fine?” Leaf asked.

“……” Dark Pit sighed and turned back to them. “Loo-”

He was about to speak before MegaMan came running to them. “Guys! Something happened!”

……….

“So what happened exactly?” Leaf asked as the four of them walked through the graveyard.

“Well, Young Link and I were chilling at our graveyard spot while you two left to find Dark Pit. He said he noticed Bowser Jr. has been gone for a long time, so he’d find him. He went searching, but a few minutes later, I heard a scream. So I went to check it out. That’s when I found…” MegaMan led them to a spot in the grave yard. Young Link was seen lying on the ground. “This.”

Blue and Leaf gasped. Dark Pit raised an eyebrow and walked over to Young Link and nudged him with his foot. “You sure he didn’t just leave him here for the sole purpose of you getting scared?”

“W-What do you mean?” MegaMan asked.

“I mean, he conveniently left his car here, and got Young Link to join in on this too.” Dark Pit told him. He then kicked Young Link. “Wake up, Elf Shrimp!”

Young Link sat up and rubbed his head. “Ow…what happened?"

"Don’t play dumb. You and Jr. tried to scare us.” Dark Pit told him.

“Huh? All I remember was looking for B.J, then something bit…or maybe stung me?” Young Link told him, pointing to his arm.

“Riiiight. And you’re gonna turn into a zombie.” He replied with utmost sarcasm.

MegaMan turned around. “Oh, its R.O.B!”

Behind them, R.O.B was slowly moving towards them, shuffling ever so slightly, as if his wheels weren’t working right. And the noise he was making made it seem as if he was malfunctioning. Not to mention how…off he looked

“Isn’t R.O.B supposed to be in sleep mode?” Blue asked. MegaMan looked again and his pupils shrank.

“Uh, guys? Correct me if I’m wrong, but R.O.B is the last of his kind, right?” MegaMan asked.

“That’s what it says on his description at the boxing stage.” Leaf told him.

“Then why are there more than one R.O.B?!” MegaMan asked.

The others turned around to see that they have been surrounded by about 50 R.O.B’s.

“This is…unsettling.” Dark Pit admitted. “Run!”

The group ran into the forest. Dark Pit knew that running into a dark forest in the middle of the night while zombie robots were chasing you was a horrible idea, but he was in the heat of the moment.

“Dude, why are there zombie R.O.B’s? Didn’t Fox say they were all destroyed a long time ago?!” Blue shouted.

“I don’t know! I wasn’t there!” Leaf shouted back.

“Calm down! We just have to keep running and tell everyone to meet back together. Then, we tell the Hands about this and they’ll know what to do!” Dark Pit reassured them.

MegaMan turned around and noticed Young Link was slowing down. He then fell. “Little Link!” The ran back to check on him.

“Guys…I don’t feel so good…."Young Link told them.”

“Wait, didn’t he say he got stung earlier?” Blue asked. The exchanged worried glances.

As soon as they put their attention back to Young Link, they saw robotic armor slowly begin to cover him from the spot where he got bit. When he glanced up them, he had R.O.B’s face covering his eyes, and had cyber-genetic parts on his arms.

“Farfetch’d Unknown Charizard Kingler!” Leaf shouted as they all screamed. Blue then beat the now Zombie Young Link with his roller until he wasn’t moving and was covered in blue ink. They looked over at Blue.

“What?’ Blue asked.

”…Nothing, lets keep running.“ Dark Pit said.

The four of them ran deeper into the forest as fast as they could. Soon, they had to give into exhaustion and take a minute to catch their breath. They hid behind a few trees.

Leaf glance out from behind the tree. "I don’t see them…” She then turned to Dark Pit. “Don’t you have arrows or something? Can’t you shoot them?”

“If I had arrows, I would’ve been shooting them for a while now. He wouldn’t shut up unless I promised not to bring my weapons.” Dark Pit groaned. “Where’s Ivysaur?”

“I am NOT going to subject my Pokemon to fight zombies!” Leaf told him.

“I’m trying to call the others. Lucas’ signal is being jammed, and I called Meggy’s group, and I just heard screaming about a ghost.” Blue told them

They all stopped talking as they could hear the distorted noises of the R.O.B’s slowly approaching. They peeked out and saw Bowser. Jr, who was now turned into a zombie cyborg that fused with his clown car, hovering next to them.

“Bowser’s gonna kill us.” Leaf said.

“You mean if we get of this or if we get turned into zombies?” Dark Pit asked

“…I’ll hold them off.” MegaMan announced as he rose up. “I come loaded with weaponry. As long as I don’t get bit, I’ll be okay. I don’t know how I’ll survive, but-”

Blue shoved him from the tree. “Dude, less emotional speech and more shooting!” He whispered.

MegaMan glared at him for a moment and ran out firing his Mega Buster. The three watched from the tree.

“OBJECTIO-”

MegaMan didn’t get to finish his battle cry as a creature suddenly swooped down and grabbed him, flying back into the sky. The three stared off into the sky with pale, terrified expressions as the creature flew off with MegaMan, his incredibly high pitched screams filling the night sky. They glanced back at the robot horde that was slowly approaching.

They took off running again, soon hitting a wall they couldn’t climb over. It kept climbing into the sky. As they turned around, they saw the horde slowly approaching

“Fishcakes! D.P, can’t you just fly us over?!” Blue asked frantically.

“This is a literal mountain! I can’t fly over it and carry the both of you at the same time!” Dark Pit shouted.

“Then what do we do?!” Blue shouted back.

Dark Pit looked around. They were surrounded from all sides and the horde was getting closer. Escape seemed impossible.

“G-guys…” Leaf said. The two turned to Leaf, who had tears in her eyes. “I-If this is how we go out…I want you to know…You guys are awesome!!”

“…My only regret was that i didn’t get his by all of the Final Smashes. Those seem pretty cool.” Blue said, accepting his fate.

Dark Pit looked at the two, then looked back at the horde. “Guys…since we’re about to get turned into mindless drones, I need to say something…”

“We already know you’d rather be doing anything else then hang out with us! You don’t need to say it.” Blue told him.

“No!” Dark Pit shouted as tears welled up in his eyes. “I wanted to say…you guys are my best friends! You two, MegaMan, Ness, Lucas, Meggy, Villager…all of you guys! I even think Pit is tolerable from time to time! I act all cold so that I wouldn’t get attached, but I can’t! All the times we did stupid stuff together! All the times, you’d drag me into whatever you guys were doing…I actually enjoyed myself!”

Leaf and Blue looked at Dark Pit as he was pouring his heart out, tears now rolling down his face. The R.O.B. zombies lunged at them.

“The truth is….” Dark Pit said, the R.O.B. zombies now only a foot away from them, “…I LOVE YOU GUYS!”

————————

Dark Pit had his eyes closed, preparing for the bite. But the bite never came. He opened an eye and saw the R.O.B’s and the two cyborg zombies had all stopped moving. The R.O.B.’s then fell apart piece by piece. The robot parts on Bowser Jr. and Young Link fell off as well.

Young Link and Bowser Jr. fell to the ground. “Ughh…what are we doing out here?” Bowser Jr. asked.

“They…just broke?” Dark Pit muttered to himself.

“You…”

Dark Pit glance at Leaf and Blue, who both had sparkly eyes.

“You love us?” Leaf asked. Bowser Jr. and Young Link both shot up and did sparkly eyes as well.

“He what?” The two asked.

Dark Pit blushed. “No. I didn’t say that."

"Yeah you did.” Blue told him. “I recorded the whole speech.” The blue Inkling pressed a button on his phone, playing back what Dark Pit said moments ago.

“I LOVE YOU GUYS!!”

A smile grew on all of there faces hearing Dark Pit say that about them.

Dark Pit blushed even more. “I-I didn’t mean it, you idiot!”

But it was too late. The four of them all tightly hugged Dark Pit. “You do care!”

“No I don’t! It was in the heat of the moment!” Dark Pit shouted.

“Too late. We already know you’re a softie.” Leaf told him.

“Grrr…whatever!” Dark Pit huffed.

“But this does raise the question.” Young Link said. “Why were there more R.O.B’s when Mario and the others told us that they were destroyed?”

“Yeah. And why’d they attack us?” Dark Pit added.

Bowser Jr. looked around. “Where’s MegaMan?”

And as if to answer his question, MegaMan fell out of the sky looking pretty beaten up.

“The heck happened to you?” Leaf asked.

MegaMan pointed upwards in response. The group looked up and saw a long, green dragon coming down towards them. Leaf was the only that was smiling. She threw her PokeBall, and Ivysaur came out.

“Ivysaur, let’s catch a Legendary Pokemon.”

#smash bros #submission #incorrect super smash bros #Dark Pit #MegaMan #Bowser Jr #Ice Climbers #R.O.B #Pokemon Trainer #Inkling #Young Link #Fox McCloud #Kid Icarus #Super Mario #Pokemon #Splatoon #Legend of Zelda #Star Fox #story

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brittysaucefanfic · 6 years ago

Text

Acting is Easy, Loving is Harder

Summary:

A new live action sci-fi/ fantasy show has been cast, Voltron.

Included in the cast is the famous actresses Allura and Pidge, the famous actors Takashi ‘Shiro’ Shirogane and Keith Kogane, the famous chef Hunk Garrett, and the famous music artist Lance McClain. Throwing these five A-list celebrities onto one show can only come to one of three things. Beautiful Chaos, Painful Chaos, or Both.

Throw in a romance, and a bad first meeting for some(two), and now you just spell out trouble.

Part 1

(Next)(AU)(AO3)

VOLTRON CHAT ROOM

anon1: Did you guys hear about the cast for Voltron!?

anon2: Uh duh!!! Allura, my queen, is in THE HOUSE BABY!

anon3: What about that mysterious guy, Keith? He’s so hot!

anon1: Nah, Lance is where the money is at!

anon4: Do you think they’ll really show LGBT rep???

anon2: God I hope so! Coran hasn’t let us down yet!

anon3: Not to mention half the cast is somewhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum.

anon1: Like our favorite soldier Shiro! I can’t wait to see the show!

anon4: Gah can you imagine!??? Allura, Pidge and Lance in one show!!!!!?????? The sheer feminine power in one place, I’m

anon2: You know you put Lance in that group too right?

anon4: Tell me you can’t take one look at McClain and NOT see absolute female power?

anon2: You right tho

~~~~

INTERVIEW EXCERPT

Interviewer: Voltron has taken over social media, and the cast has only just been announced! I’m here today with one of said cast members. Welcome Lance!

Lance: Thanks, glad to be here.

Interviewer: Is there anything you can reveal to us about the show?

Lance: *chuckles* Sorry darling, my lips are sealed on that front.

Interviewer: Oh surely there must be something you can share? How about one of the most posed questions in the media? Will there truly be LGBT representation?

Lance: I can’t say much, but as far as we know for the time being, there will be a side romance for sure.

Interviewer: How about your costars? How do you feel about working with so many powerful stars?

Lance: I’m excited, I think we all are. Hunk and I know each other already, and I practically worship Shiro and Allura. I haven’t had the chance to meet Pidge or Keith, and I met Coran once, at auditions, but I have a good feeling about this show.

~~~~

Lance is in his element, soaking up the love of his fans.

Ever since the cast reveal, his popularity had skyrocketed. It's now the last show of his world tour, and then he's off to the set to start filming. Technically, the filming started two weeks ago, but he worked things out with Coran, his cast director. The others are only shooting scenes Lance isn't in, or are unimportant.

Lance smiles to the mirror.

He's really made it. No more will he be struggling to get by on his music doing covers and party performances. He's hit the big time, even getting to do his own world tour! And at every concert, his crowds just keep getting bigger and bigger.

He just has to do one last show.

Lance is pumped, ready to make this the best concert ever. He's going all in on this one, and he owes all of his help to his manager, Plaxum. Weird name, yes, but she's good at what she does. Lance checks his outfit one last time as he tries to settle his nerves.

His eyes are done with a dramatic eyeliner, and he’s dressed in a fancy metallic suit jacket, blue with silver stars sparkling across the fabric. His shirt is a simple black button up, with the top three buttons open and loose. His pants are just a simple pair of black skinny jeans, the stretchy kind.

Lance dances out his nerves, stretching his body and getting his heart pumping. He’ll be doing a lot of dancing and moving tonight, because he wanted this show to be perfect. Don’t want to pull a muscle.

There’s a knock at the door, and with a rush of chaos, he’s on the platform that’ll raise him to the stage. They give him a pair of earplugs and a wireless microphone, then Plaxum squeezes between the stage hands to pat him on the back and wish him luck. He barely hears it over the roar of the crowd, and they aren’t even screaming yet.

With one last thumbs up, the above lights shut off.

Lance stands into his beginning pose, his back to the crowd and head up. His shoulders roll back naturally and his feet spread apart to stabilize him. The lights above ease back on as his band starts with his first song, something upbeat and slightly repetitive.

The roar of the crowd turns into a deafening scream and Lance eases in his second earpiece with a smile.

The first song goes off without a hitch, and his adrenaline is pumping. His lips ache from how much he’s smiling as he takes a moment to address the crowd before song number two. It’s a full set for him, eighteen songs with two encores planned. His voice is sure to be wrecked on his way to the Voltron set.

He does four songs in a row after song two, and with each one the crowd screams louder at him.

He pauses to talk some and get his breath back. And get some water, because the stage is burning up from all the lights. He catches sight of himself on one of the big screens and he almost winces at his sweaty face. His eyeliner is still on point though, thank God.

“Thank you guys! Wow! There’s so many people here, it’s crazy!” Lance says, giving a little squeal for the crowd, who are screaming right back at him. He runs a hand through his hair, smiling as he waves at the fans. He reads out a few posters, and laughs as he sees one that calls him ‘daddy’, his face red. When his breath is back to normal, he starts singing once more.

It’s crazy.

The crowd is huge, bigger than he’s ever seen at his own concerts. He does a slow song and the darkness beyond the stage lights up like the night sky. It’s breathtaking really, exhilarating. Who knew he would be here, with such a big turn out? Who knew those grueling years trying hard just find a gig at a sleazy bar would bring him here? Who knew he would be so famous? He stops to talk again after song eleven.

“You guys have been wonderful! This next song, it hits home for me, so forgive me if my voice breaks. When it came out, it helped me through my bisexual crises-” He’s cut off by another roaring scream and he laughs. “Hell yeah! Power to the gays! Anyways, it helped me in my rough times, so I hope it helps you too. I know it’s hard to accept yourself sometimes, but I’m here for you all.” And then he starts singing This is Me from The Greatest Showman.

He throws everything into it.

Lance starts out the song soft, soulful, his eyes closed as the words seem to rip themselves from his very core, standing still for the first time since he started the concert. Then on the first chorus he starts gliding slowly forward to the end of the stage. When the second verse starts, he freezes again, one hand gripping his shirt tight.

His backup dancers, who have all been standing in various crouched poses, like they’re in critical pain, stand up and starts doing the exact dance from the show. Lance backs up as the chorus starts again and joins them, dancing with harsh enthusiasm. He and the dancers do the entire routine, and then when the beat drops after ‘I make no apologies’ he launches himself off the stage in a frontflip.

Plaxum hated that part in rehearsals.

He starts dancing the routine through the crowd, who are all screaming in his face and reaching out to touch him. He kisses the hand of a pretty girl before starting in on the bridge.

He makes it back to the stage when the music stops, hopping up with the help of a backup dancer. The rest are all frozen, reaching for the ground in a high crouch. Lance walks through them as he sings the slow part, his voice cracking on ‘this is brave’. When the first beat drops his dancers hit their knees, and when the music starts they all stand and throw their arms out like they’re going to embrace someone, Lance whipping around to match them.

They finish the song with a proverbial bang as the lights go out.

He does two more of his own songs, then does an onstage costume change while the lights are out. He changes into a sparkly blue tank top, with knee high leather boots and a fedora. It’s a small relief on his skin to change.

When the lights go up again, he lets the crowd do their screaming. Then jumps into a cover of Shakira’s She-Wolf, changing all the female pronouns to male, and making the cover extremely gay. The fans went wild when he showed the world he had Shakira’s hips.

On his last song, before the encores, he trips.

Lance rolls with it, literally, using the forward momentum to go into a roll and then pops back up on his feet. All without missing a single beat or lyric. After the song he talks to the fans.

“Did anyone see me trip? No? Good let’s keep it that way, because it didn’t happen. Whatsoever.” Lance says and the entire crowd erupts into a roar of laughter. Lance smiles as he thanks the fans for coming to see him. When the lights go out, he does another quick on stage costume change. He forgoes a shirt all together.

He also kicks off his shoes, and just does his last two songs barefoot and shirtless.

In other words, his concert was amazing. Plus, he’s trending on twitter, with a very nice picture of him mid song of an encore. He’s barely clothed, in nothing but a pair of tight skinny jeans, and a fedora. Right before he walks off stage he thanks the fans one last time and then tells them to look out for him in a new show called Voltron.

******

(Next)(AU)(AO3)

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themadvigilantist · 6 years ago

Text

just a 5:53 AM thought...

i have very detailed dreams, i giffed one so, here’s another one. without much editing

i had a dream that me and cale/anders/whatever/horse hoe was friends and then we grew and by we i mean i just wore business dresses and occasionally heels and he was just david tennant. apparently, in this dream, i was a dominatrix with had an abusive husband whose reason of being abusive to me because he was jealous of: me making fun of cale by making horse puns, jokes, and ‘kill me’ innuendos that made cale’s voice crack and then i end staring at him in concern and wtf when he do that and before i can comment he’s just like “stop it. just stop. no, stop. don’t.” and that almost makes burst into laughter and that i didn’t do that with him and we only see each other for like once a year on a random month. because i know cale’s a killer and i basically just judge on ‘why the hell you choosing them when im literally here willing to like have normal schedule only if you whip me, i will rip your cock right off.’ that was my winning argument every time cale would bring that up. it was highly effective.

also i was a history nerd (i heard him say it to me. to my face) because im not obsessed with horses like he is and cale only tells me this because i show him that his methods of “correction” and “breaking mares in” is literally the same devices used for enslavement (cage, marks on the back, the collar, the fucking gag choices and shit but i also knew that his horse trainer actually thought this was for horses and that this was how to break in a horse and he didn’t know she was raised by racists horse ranchers that brainwashed her into thinking this was for horses and they didn’t fuck with me because cale was with me like glue to paper (yes i made that pun too and he laughed). and looked like damien from the omen. that helped a lot. then i would-- i tell him to get new equipment. and to give me my whip and gag chair back because every once in a while i have a client that wants to use the whip or be strapped down... apparently those belonged to me, i was shocked i even had that amount of money. and it’s my dream and im shocked.

so we move to portland and my husband was angry because he saw cale in a new car (nevermind the fact that he didn’t know that was a new identity) and i got all these marks on my back and my inner forearms and one branding circle thing on inner upper thigh. but i wear nice coats and cale didn’t know about him being abusive to me (because i never take off my coat/jacket/shawl i went through a lot of costume changes and i hated it)

and so automatically i was like im gonna go hang out with my pal cale. because like every horse centric soap opera, i gal paled myself to someone who surrounded themselves with horse themed decor. but fancier? at this point the movie kicks in and sean sees we friends and he starts stalking me.

so cale calls me and say meet him cabin woods nightime? the gist of it really. don’t get followed and i get in my car and i bring a bag of sweets and sex equipment. mainly squishable food that don’t squish when it should. i don’t question the logic of my dreams, i just roll with them and hope it doesn’t end with me having sex and seeing a fucking dragon. the dragon was my car, i didn’t notice until i remembered. my husband mad because im hanging out with one person instead of a group...

so sean atttempts to follow me, at night, with his orange car. he got a new car and its that ugly orange. he loves ugly orange car. and im driving and then i turn all the lights/headlights off and drive my car off the edge of the mountain path thing. the winding road and it turns out i jumped out of car, surprisingly clean and sean falco is freaking out as he watches the car crash and explode and parked his car so he properly get out, watch and hear the car tumble down the hill to explode while acting like a sim seeing fire in their home...so i run barefoot with heels in one hand, bag full of food and things, and still in my pretty coat and run all the way until i find where cale at in the dark. i keep running until i get to the porch, the snow and grass and twigs does nothing to my feet and stockings because “the cold never bothered me anyway”. cale asks if i was followed and i calmly straighten myself out and said no, i brought food and better collars and shit. and the main girl is still in her cage and im just like: “another one? really?”

and then we chill on the couch and i would tell him: why her? is it the hair? is it because you thought she was gwen conliffe or rita vrataski and then when you saw her face you just went “the garbage will do”? And then he would avoid the question by saying how I found him and then i answered that my husband saw you and then i told him that he was one that introduced us to each other and thought he “perfect” and then i told cale that i’m going to kill him. i blew up my own car and now im gonna kill him. its time he needs to go. and cale is like: oh i want to see that. and then i tell i packed an overnight bag and i might need a ride home tomorrow. and cale’s like: why did you blow up your car you fucking dumbass? and i went: so i won’t be followed, coal bitch.. and then that banter went on and eventually i start flirt and said something along: “why don’t you kill me hm? hmmm?” and then i literally just stroke my neck slowly and he watches with both “stop with the jokes.” and “don’t tempt me” in his eyes and then he noticed my arms and saw random marks and was going to ask what happened and i drank some wine and just said: im going to kill my husband. tomorrow. wanna watch? and then he asked if the husband was the one who did this and i said, yep. so then he said sure. despite the fact that sean falco is still looking for him and now me. also my pajamas were dominatrix clothes, specifically the one that angelina jolie wore in mr. and mrs. smith. cale wasn’t blind and said: “what are you wearing that for?” and i said: “these are my jammies.” and he went: “no.” and then gave me a oversized sweater and some shorts and guided me back into the bathroom. [my work clothes were actually footsie pajamas and i was a dominatrix. my work place was literally the same dominatrix room you see in shows and films but instead of them wearing leather, they’re wearing nice, fluffy, footsie pajamas. doing the exact same thing. but in cute pajamas. it was a great trade off.] the next day or i assume it is and im rightfully peeved i couldn’t sleep in my “jammies” but apparently the only sane one in the dream was cale.

and then we went to my husband’s house and sean falco was there looking smug and my faceless husband told me that he knew that cale was bad and then monologued and i just kind of went and sat down and cale went to sit down beside me and then the husband started choking and seizuring and then died in front of a now terrified and bewildered sean. cale went: “that was quick” and i went: he poisoned himself with his own cereal

and then i went and called the cereal company and they offered those small boxes of cereal as condolence gifts and i bought one because cale and sean were like: nah we’re good/alright

and then the rest of the movie played out and i hear about cale caught by the fbi and somehow, i bail him out of jail with bail money. and then we basically just chilled out until i woke up.

and i typed all this because i can’t gif it like the last one.

summary: don’t watch/gif bad samaritan repetitively. please.

#ooc #mv: longpost #bad samaritan (2018)#{no it's a dream i had that lingered just like the hamilton dream one}#{instead of hamilton it's bad samaritan}#august 2018

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artquenga · 7 years ago

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! SPOILER ALERT !

RPDR All Stars 3 Thoughts So Far

Episode 1

I’m going to be reviewing all the episodes (at least as long as they’re interesting) Yall gonna read it?

Am i gonna share it online anyway?

But i’m gonna make it with reaction gifs and pics so yall can be at least entertained while scrolling down. Starting with Milk.

I’m a HUGE Milk fan but she belonged in the bottom, if not bottom 2, a bottom 3. If instead of wearing that cardboard stuff, which looks great for a photoshoot btw, she could have done a lot of “real” costume changes or a whole ~deconstructing drag~ performance art, or even ice skating (if possible...) in drag it would be way more succesful in my opinion. It’s a competition... take the fuck THERE miss THANG!! But i loved her entrance look, and even in the challenge she looked good doing it, her face was gorgeous and i love that the hair she was wearing paired well with the silhouettes that she presented.

Ok, miss DeLa is playing a game, girl we all clocked it.

The editing may influence our perspectives a little but that’s sooo last season... CLOCKED. It would be way better saying “i think yall are fierce blablabla but I choose the bitch who might send me home next week *shows lipstick*” That’s what i would probably do. It would be ok bc they all can handle that... Dela is serving some “miss congeniality” storyline for the show... and they are going to e d i t t h e s h i t o u t o f i t so we can watch good television...

I hope they don’t make her look like a bitch... and if they do, she better own it...

But i’m gonna say that in a competition like this you keep your strategy with yourself as long as you can. Morgan laid the cards down way too soon which gave her competitors the chance to make easy reasons to send her home. So in this situation you better be at the mf top all the time... and i don’t think she was expecting to be one of the bottom.

I think Morgan wanted to set the tone of the competition before the first elimination and it worked against her. I was not expecting her to be the first eliminated. And i hope she’s coming back, that two past bitches in red surelly came to “rescue”... Maybe they are not doing a ruvenge... maybe it’s another shenanigan to bring some eliminated bitch back.

Before moving on i might say that I’m keeping distance from the drag race fandom for the obvious reasons: I don’t wanna be bothered with the bullshit and also I wanna avoid spoilers... so i might not know stuff that the rest of the fandom already knows because i’m kinda off ~or very select with~ social media... and tbh that’s the only way you can see the show without spoilers. So, seing Bebe as the 10th contestant was kind of ~ok what’s happening?~

It was sort of an “it’s not right but it’s okay" feeling initially. Not because i don’t think Bebe shouldn’t be featured on rpdr again, but i think if she’s gonna compete again i believe that she should compete against “royalty”. IJS.

But girl... that outfit... she walked in the work room in good drag, and here’s the reason: she showed that she’s current, her makeup was good, the hair was right and the outfit was right... i woulda liked to see some kinda jewelry tho... but instead of going for obvious crowned queen with a bunch of bling and this and that... she went simple and she walked in like royalty because, girl... that cape was the only thing that she needed to show that... that red pattern with the plain soft blue inside was so chique... And on the stage she was Fierce.

Me watching Bebe’s number:

Honestly all season 1 bitches deserves to be featured again on the show at least once. (ok we have exceptions but i’m not gonna get into that)

I’m noticing that Trixie knows how television works and she wants that camera on her... she wants her interviews on air... good for her, i like her so she better do it... but then again we have backstage/workroom trixie and mainstage trixie. It’s only episode 1, i know... i a m A W A R E ... but that’s the first impression. Her act was too soft for my taste. I was expecting her to sing, but i was also expecting her to bring more comedy into it... she has gimmicks that would work. (Except that hooooneeey thing, girl, don’t wear it out please...) Thorgy... i love Thorgy... i was O B S E S S E D with the two outfits that she rocked. The entrance look was fierce, those pants and that pin/buttom thing on the shirt i loved... very fashion clown. On the main stage that white jumpsuit with that hair... Fierce.

I’m not as obsessed with her as much as she’s still obsessed with Bob, girl... I know in the interviews they must’ve asked her something that brought up the subject, but she did bring Bob up in the reading challenge... so... snap out of it!

As far as her performance, i loved it. I knew she wouldn’t just play the violin and wrap it up, she put her character into that and brought a fun act, but i agree with the critique that the girl from hsm gave to her. She could be a little more extra... Speaking of extra. BenDeLaCreme... THAT’S 👏🏻 WHAT 👏🏻 I‘M 👏🏻 HERE 👏🏻 FOR!! Brilliant, amazing, showstoping, never the same*, put it on a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, give birth to it! Her number was my favorite, i thought that it was very funny and entertaining. She’s one of my all time favorites and she did not let me down.

* OK the entrance look. Not my favorite... recycled drag is not my favorite thing in the world when you’re gonna appear on worldwide television.

Aja slayed... she gave me all the loife i needed. I thought that she were moving too fast, but that’s part of the whole vogue thing, maybe i wished to see more precision in her movements... but hey, she put on a good show, she’s a young queen and she brought good drag show like i want to see, and that jump in the end was fierce.

Shablamgela... I am so happy that she’s on the show again, she is one of my favorites to watch... and she worked it. Her entrance look was very cute, i liked it. Not my favorite number but still very good, she edited the shit out of her act i can tell, but honestly... I WANTED TO SEE MORE SHABLAM!!!

Her performance paid off for the outfit she was wearing which was kinda meh. But hey... the bitch is already messing in the workroom jumping in the conversations and talk shit back on that mirror bitch. LOVE IT. Speaking of talking shit...

Kennedy... Her entrance look was kinda bad, i thought that she had too much going on... the mirrors on the face i like, but not with that gown, not with that hair... i like some elements but not all together. Her number in the challenge i loved it... maybe she and Aja planned to use that high platform, or maybe one of them did it first and then the other one went like

And then asked the crew to use the same “prop”. But they used it in very different ways which was awesome. I love seeing Kennedy perform. I just want to see this bitch live (a lot of them, but these dancing queens honey... i LIVE) Me while these hos are defying gravity and the human body:

Morgan. I was underwhelmed with the performance, she should do the thing for the audience not so much for the other girls. But i loved her look, that bodysuit looks expensive as fuck!!

That brings me back to Milk... it’s frustrating... imma be honest because i love her sooo much... i know that Milk could do way better... like, i was more impressed with the fashion from the queens who are not “fashion queens” than with Milk’s, like i said before the performance was not my favorite by far... Her number was all about fashion but... we only heard of it, we haven’t really seen it... so... that for me was a bummer... i liked the beggining, when she fell on the floor i died... BUT then it got predictable, ~thats my real proboblem with it~ , and I GET the whole “touch the fashion” thing, but it felt kinda lazy. I KNOW... I AM HURTING myself with my own words but i CANNOT read the bitch bellow if i’m not honest about Milk just because she’s one of my favorites... I hope she step her pussy up... but i thought she was great in the reading challenge.

[edit] Ok, watching it again (and again and again and again the whole episode) and hearing other peoples opinions i might have been a little too harsh, but that’s because i love Milk and i was expecting her to surprise me with something more fierce, because it’s a competition beetween the ~crème de la crème~ of drag race and the girls have to kinda outdo themselves in this particular challenge... i saw that number with her lipsynching before and its fun for a Milk show but for the competition it wasn’t really succesfull, i do give her props for singing live but... ya... i think she were capable of planning something better [/edit]

ChiChi... honey... when i saw those flats... girl she was done... bottom 2. I knew it. You can wear flats and still put on a fierce show, and she could be wearing heels... she admited that she made a bad decision but... how can someone see other bitches like Kennedy Motherfucking Davenport, Shangela and Morgan putting on some heels in the workroom and walk out in those shoes knowing that their act is going to be “similar”?

It’s not the same act, but if she could work it in heels then she should work it in heels... I love ChiChi... but i couldn’t even pay atention to the performance because those shoes were distracting me the whole time... maybe if the tights were the same color as the shoe it wouldn’t be so bad, and then the hair was not a good choice, not with that outfit, it should be kinda pulled back so she can whip it better. (Bebe was barefoot but that was a part of her number and her look... it makes sense... Katya performed her gymnastics thing with flats last season but her overall look was on point. That’s the difference) The whole look literally lowered way down the level of her performance, that’s why the look is SO important, because we know that the talent, the energy and the work that she put into that was there, but because of the look it felt kinda messy. Her makeup was fine and her entrance look was cute. I liked it.

But hey... can I do 0.5% of what she did on that stage?

But yea, i can still, you know... be a bitch.

So the lipsync was amazing, DeLa managed to perform anaconda the right way, because it IS a fun/funny song and she brought it. Both of them were good but ben was better in my humble opinion. And then she sent Morgan home with the excuse that she were defeating the evil so the children can walk fearlessly in nature on the set of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3...

Girl... i can not wait to see how this turns out.. but I’m done for now.

So hey, if yall (people who had nothing better to do and decided to read this shit) want to message me, and kiki about the show, feel free to do it. Thanks and

#rpdr #all stars 3 #spoiler #rpdr spoilers #ruview

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