#Colossus is there too I guess

[comicbookhyperfixationtime]

Uncanny X-Men #194- Juggernaut's Back in Town

Last Issue Recap: The team fought Thunderbird's identical brother and his Hellion friends in a US base, tanked whatever remained of their superhero credibility and then proceeded to just let Thunderbird and the Hellions waltz on back to Emma Frost without any repercussions.

This cover is pretty cool, I wouldn’t say the composition is fantastic but it makes it pretty clear what this issue is going to be about (a big ol’ heavy hitter slap fight) and Rogue with Nightcrawler and Colossus’ powers is intriguing.

The issue doesn't start with a fight though, it starts with Juggernaut having a friendly conversation with the most oblivious cop in New York

Yessir, I'm sure the giant hunk of muscle wider than he is tall couldn't possibly have anything to do with the recently escaped super criminal. 10/10 polic-ing.

Juggernaut watches some news crew give exposition for new readers on him (there's plenty of convoluted backstory but all you really need to know is he's the Juggernaut, bitch) and his recent appearances in other comics (shameless plugins). They also remind us how the X-men and Spiderman (who was Juggernaut's latest foe) are Feared and Hated By the World They Have Sworn to Protect. The popularity of a Marvel character in-universe is indirectly proportional to their popularity IRL, thus why Wonderman is highly successful film star.

Cut to the X-men in the Currently-Not-Destroyed Xavier's School upstate waking up and not giving a singular fuck about one of their super criminals on the loose.

He stayed up all night watching old swashbuckler films ahhhh he's such a dork I love him! (Thirsty Sidenote: this is I think the first time Kurt has been drawn without a shirt and gloves on. In earlier issues he seemed to basically live 24/7 in his costume. Yes I noticed. Don't judge me.)

Nobody cares, that is, except for Colossus (aka Piotr Rasputin), who went from one of my favorite characters to least favorite characters when he started dating an underage Kitty Pryde until Marvel Editor in Chief Jim Shooter told them to stop (possibly the only good decisions Jim Shooter ever made). They wasted so much good himbo potential with this boy. Anyway, he's very excited for a rematch with Juggey after demolishing a few blocks with him in a post-breakup funk several issues ago. So excited he quite literally busts out of his clothes.

See, its dumbass himbo behavior like this I'd enjoy a lot more if I couldn't get the bad taste of him and Kitty out of my mouth. Screw you Claremont for ever thinking that was ok.

Wolverine comes in from his daily barefoot snow jog in purple pajamas to tell Nightcrawler to get the team ready to track down Juggernaut because blah blah its their jobs booo you spoilsport. Honestly I would have loved an issue where the X-men just stayed at home and did nothing. I find the cool-down moments in long running comic series are usually my favorite parts. Its nice to see how these characters interact with each other and live their lives when they aren't constantly in mortal peril. But the cover promised a big knockdown dragemout and so, the plot must keep plotting. (Side note: how did Wolvie even find out about the Juggernaut? Everyone else was listening to the radio but he was running outdoors. His plot sense was tingling I guess).

Since Cyclops is a married man, Storm has lost her powers and Professor X is off in Scotland doing New Mutants stuff, Kurt now has the sole leadership responsibility of the team. I've really enjoyed Kurt's run as team leader so far. He's doing his best but he's not cut out for leadership and its clear he hates every minute of it. He's an extroverted sweetheart who would rather support his friends. Its nice to see Nightcrawler get more stuff to do after barely being present for the past for story arcs. His self doubt is also a fantastic change of pace from the previous leadership dynamics, which were the team leader going "Wah wah wah I'm the leader and you have to do what I say I'm going to be a controlling little bitch," and the second in command/former leader muttering under their breath "I would be such a better leader I deserve this title more leader doesn't know what they're doing wah wah wah." It was basically a three way dick measuring contest between Cyclops, Storm and Professor X and I hated every egotistical minute of it.

Speaking of Storm, we cut to her in her home in Kenya showing some colonial douchecanoes who's boss. Storm was recently depowered by an antimutant weapon created by Forge (long story) and so has quit the team and is returning home to find inner peace or something. Being 80s Marvel Kenya is of course portrayed in a nuanced and intelligent manner- just kidding its a thatched roof bush station in the savannah and I'm pretty sure they only chose Mount Kilimanjaro because it was the only place in Africa they could name.

Also this specific Racist White Dude is using a South African slur (kaffir) in Kenya. I'd like to say the writers meant him to be a South African on vacation in Kenya but to be honest I don't think they were thinking that hard about it. If I'm wrong though and this isn't just an example of lazy writing, lmk.)

The women running bush station who Storm saves turns out to be a member of the tribe that worshipped her as a Goddess in her first appearance (because, again, Marvel is well known for their fantastic African representation /s) and falls at her feet. The implications of this are that the regional drought mentioned in previous panels is the result of Ororo joining the X-men and no longer acting as weather Goddess, which raises a whole bunch of questions about the morality of her decision to leave in the first place, as well as broader questions about the ecology of the Marvel Universe as a whole that literally superpowers were needed to keep the climate in the region stable in the first place (climate change must be hitting them hard and fast, forget the Setinels, this is the bad future y'all should be going back to stop!). Anyway, I'm sure at least some of these will be answered the next time we see her.

Back to the main storyline, Kitty and Rachel are spying on Juggernaut, who is in a bank in civies, seemingly doing ordinary, none-crime stuff.

Look at his giant butt in that tiny chair how could anybody be fooled by this?!

The stakeout is going pretty quietly until Nimrod shows up to finally do something. The panels showing him locking in on the X-men's location is pretty neat, but its giving me Deja Vu. I wonder if its because the panel is so famous I've seen it before, or if they copied some iconic imagery from something else (it is giving me Escape From New York vibes)

Rachel and Kitty evacuate the civies and regroup with the rest of the X-men as Nimrod focuses his attention on Juggernaut. He punches Juggernaut into a conveniently empty construction lot where they can beat the stuffing out of each other without the writers having to worry about civilians. Do you think construction lots cause superhero fights, or do superhero fights cause construction lots? Its a chicken-egg sort of thing I feel. The X-men show up to stick their noses in like a bunch of idiots and this is where I have to make my opinions on Nimrod known.

Nimrod is a mutant hunting cop-robot that had been introduced previously, having been pulled into the current timestream from the Days of Future Past timeline when Dr Strange reversed time to stop the spell of an evil wizard from turning Manhatten into a Hyborian Era fantasy kingdom. I personally think exchanging Fantasy AU Avengers for pink murderbot is a pretty lame deal, but what do I know. Anyway, he's spent all his time since his initial appearance living in some poor guy's basement, eating his snacks, taking up space and barely masquerading as human, much like me.

So. I'ma be honest. I don't like Nimrod. I think he looks like a stupid pink trapezoid. Also, his name is dumb. Yeah, yeah, Nimrod was a famous biblical hunter, I know, but like. This was the 80s. Bugs Bunny had been a thing for decades, "Nimrod" was already well established as an insult and honestly giving the guy that goofy-ass triangle head and Looney Toons-esque invulnerability is not helping the associations. Like, what the hell were the DoFP folks thinking?! But then again this is same Evil Future Government that decided Rachel's mutant hunter outfit should be a literal goddamn gimpsuit so I think its been well established that their real crime aren't against humanity but fashion.

He's also extremely OP in the worst way. I can't even keep track of how many powers this guy has. And you'd think that might make the fight's interesting, right, like you'll you never know what's going to happen next? No actually it makes everyfight extremely boring because I know exactly what's going to happen next, the X-men are going to attack with something and Nimrod is going to go "Nu-uh, you can't hit me I have my everything shield!" and take them out of the fight with some new weapon he pulled out of his ass. And that's exactly what happens this time. Nightcrawler and Colossus teleport into the fight? Nimrod's tracking systems immediately detect them and he blasts them unconscious. Wolverine does a fastball special?But oh no, a force field! Kitty phases through him? Not only does she not disrupt his systems, she gets knocked back by energy field!

The demonstration of Nimrod's bullshit powers is great here, but I actually wanted to post this because of Rachel's fit. Its so 80s but I kind of adore it. This nonsense continues even after Rogue absorbs Kitty, Nightcrawler and Colossus's powers in a Hail Mary. Don't get me wrong, Rogue kicks ass and its hella entertaining but Nimrod once again is on his bullshit. She punches him into a million tiny pieces and he just reforms himself! Then he teleports out of there because I guess even he knew this fight had dragged on long enough. Which is another thing I hate about Nimrod; they can never actually kill the bastard. He'll just teleport away and come back next time with even more bullshit. It'd be so cathartic if Rogue had finally just smacked him down for good but I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot more of him in the future. The X-men let the Juggernaut go, despite him being a literal criminal, because they've been doing that a lot recently. Unfortunately for them, this time surprise news crews have been behind the fourth wall the whole time like its an episode of Impractical Jokers and now the whole world knows they didn't even try to do their job. And don't give me any "oh they were weak they knew they couldn't taken him" Juggernaut had his psionic bucket hat off and Rachel Summers was right there she could have taken him down with a single thought.

We end the comic with an ominous discussion about the X-men by two members of the Russian Security council.

You can tell its Moscow because of the picture perfect view of St Basil's which magically appears in the window. Also, how the heck am I supposed to take Eyepatch Ivanovich here seriously when he's wearing little red booty shorts?! Anyway, this certainly was an issue of X-men. It started off really fun, then it got kind of generic. Certainly not the worst or most infuriating by any means. Looking forward to next issue!

Edit: I took the comic at face value and wrote that Mount Kilimanjaro was in Kenya. Mount Kilimanjaro is actually in Tanzania, near the Kenyan border, so unless the borders have shifted since 1985, Claremont is an idiot and so am I.

[vagueconfusion]

me: *placing pins in the songs that i have been vibing with recently*

me: hm. didn't know i had these issues.

[urdreamydoodles]

how about scott, logan, colossus, jean, storm, hank, and wanda with a wild child reader, this is a kid who doesn’t know the meaning of structure or discipline. They are the epitome of skateboarder who live in a basement who survives on nothing but greasy new york pizza( they eat nothing but junk food and take out) . A kid who is constantly coming home bruised and bleeding from wild stunts. Its not even they’re fault they have the kind of neglectful parents that are like i dont care what you do as long as you don't bother me, so they chose to have absolute freedom

X-Men x Child!Reader

You are a wild kid due to your parents' neglect

Characters: Logan Howlett, Remy LeBeau, Kurt Wagner, Scott Summers, Jean Grey, Ororo Munroe, Colossus, Hank McCoy, Erik Lehnsherr, Wanda Maximoff

Logan Howlett aka. Wolverine

- You first meet Logan when he pulls you out of a scuffle in a dingy alley, your knuckles bloodied from throwing punches at a group of older kids who deserved it for being jerks. His gruff voice cuts through the tension, "What the hell are you doin', kid?" You shrug, brushing past him like he’s just another stranger trying to lecture you. But Logan isn’t just anyone, and the next time he catches you doing something reckless—trying to ride your skateboard off a railing—you realize you’re not shaking him off so easily.

- Logan quickly learns that you’re a wild spirit, one who doesn’t know when to stop. Your bruises and scratches only fuel his frustration. “You think you’re indestructible, huh?” he growls after dragging you to the mansion with your arm in a makeshift sling. “Guess what? You ain’t.” His tough love feels invasive at first, but there’s a strange warmth to it. Maybe because, deep down, you can tell he actually cares, unlike anyone else in your life.

- Despite his grumbling, Logan becomes your shadow. He’s there when you wipe out attempting a trick and nearly break your ankle. He’s the one hauling you to Hank for first aid when you stumble back to the mansion with a bloody nose. "One of these days, you're gonna kill yourself, and I ain’t buryin' a kid," he grumbles, but his actions betray his words. The way he watches you so intently, like he’s trying to figure you out, makes you feel… seen.

- One day, after Logan drags you out of another scrape, you snap. “Why do you even care?!” you yell, your voice cracking. “You don’t know what it’s like to not have anyone!” Logan’s face hardens, and for a moment, you think you’ve hit a nerve. “You’re wrong, kid,” he says, his tone unusually soft. Later, you overhear him talking to Charles about you. "They remind me of me. Don’t know how to stop fightin’ ‘cause they never had anyone to fight for ‘em."

- Logan starts teaching you how to channel your energy into something productive. “If you’re gonna take risks, at least do it smart,” he grunts, handing you a pair of gloves to protect your hands. He shows you how to defend yourself properly, how to pick your battles. It’s not just about fighting—it’s about self-control, something he knows all too well. And while you hate admitting it, his lessons actually stick.

- The breakthrough comes when you stumble into his room late at night, tears streaming down your face after a nightmare. You hate showing weakness, but Logan doesn’t push. He just sits with you, his presence steady and grounding. “You’re not alone, kid,” he says quietly. “Not anymore.” It’s the first time you realize that maybe, just maybe, you have someone in your corner.

- Over time, you start seeing Logan as more than the grumpy guy who keeps saving your ass. He’s your protector, your mentor, your family. When he gruffly hands you a plate of food during a mansion barbecue and tells you to “eat somethin’ that ain’t junk,” you laugh. He rolls his eyes but doesn’t hide the small smirk tugging at his lips. You’re still a wild child, but now you’ve got someone who understands—and who won’t let you face the world alone.

Remy LeBeau aka. Gambit

- You meet Remy when you’re caught sneaking onto the mansion grounds, trying to pull off some ridiculous stunt involving fireworks and a ramp. Instead of ratting you out, he smirks, intrigued by your audacity. “You got guts, kid,” he says, his Cajun accent dripping with charm. “But guts won’t save you from bein’ stupid.” He’s more amused than annoyed, but you get the feeling he’s watching you now—and not just because you nearly burned the lawn down.

- Remy quickly picks up on your chaotic energy and reckless behavior. “You remind me of a younger me,” he teases, tossing a playing card between his fingers. “All fire, no plan.” At first, you think he’s mocking you, but there’s a glint in his eye that suggests he gets it. He sees through your bravado, recognizing the pain you’re trying to bury under all your stunts and defiance.

- Unlike Logan, Remy doesn’t try to stop you outright. Instead, he plays along, meeting you where you’re at. He even joins you in some of your escapades, though he always makes sure to keep things from getting too out of hand. “If you gonna be crazy, at least do it with style,” he says, flipping his trench coat dramatically as he guides you away from trouble.

- One day, after you’ve crashed spectacularly and are nursing a busted knee, Remy sits beside you with an uncharacteristically serious expression. “You don’t gotta live like dis, y’know,” he says softly. “Runnin’ wild ain’t freedom—it’s just a way to hide.” His words hit harder than you’d like to admit, and for the first time, you let yourself wonder if he might be right.

- Remy starts teaching you his tricks—not just the flashy card stuff, but how to think ahead, how to read people, how to stay one step ahead of the chaos. “Life’s a game, cher,” he says, his voice light but his gaze sharp. “And you gotta learn how to play it.” You soak up his lessons, not realizing until later that he’s been guiding you toward something more stable all along.

- The turning point comes when you call Remy late one night, scared and unsure after a particularly bad fight with your parents. He doesn’t hesitate, showing up within minutes and whisking you away to his favorite rooftop hideout. “Ain’t no shame in needin’ help, kid,” he says, his tone uncharacteristically gentle. For the first time, you let yourself lean on someone else.

- Remy becomes your anchor, your partner in crime, and your found family all rolled into one. He still teases you endlessly, but there’s a warmth to it now, a sense of belonging you’ve never had before. And when he hands you a deck of cards and says, “You’re one of us now,” you know he means it.

Kurt Wagner aka. Nightcrawler

- You meet Kurt when he teleports into the middle of one of your stunts, startling you so badly you nearly fall off the scaffolding you’d been climbing. “Mein Gott, what are you doing up here?” he exclaims, grabbing you before you can tumble to the ground. Despite your protests, he doesn’t let go until you’re safely on solid ground. “You are going to give me a heart attack!”

- Kurt is immediately concerned by your recklessness, but his approach is softer than the others. “Why do you put yourself in such danger, mein freund?” he asks, his golden eyes full of genuine worry. You brush him off at first, but his kindness is disarming. He doesn’t scold you; he just wants to understand.

- It doesn’t take long for Kurt to realize that your behavior stems from more than just a thirst for adrenaline. When you accidentally let slip a comment about your neglectful parents, he connects the dots. “No one should feel like they have to fend for themselves,” he says quietly. His words linger, echoing in your mind long after he’s gone.

- Kurt becomes a constant presence in your life, always ready with a kind word or a helping hand. He patches you up after your latest mishap, his touch gentle as he bandages your scraped knees. “You have so much potential,” he tells you, his tone earnest. “Do not waste it on proving yourself to people who do not care.” His faith in you is both comforting and terrifying.

- He introduces you to the quiet joys of his world—stargazing from the mansion’s roof, reading old adventure novels, sharing stories from his travels. Slowly, you begin to see that life doesn’t have to be a constant whirlwind of chaos. There’s beauty in stillness, too, and Kurt shows you how to find it.

- The breakthrough comes during a particularly bad night when you show up at his door, trembling and unsure how to explain the weight you’re carrying. Kurt doesn’t push; he simply listens, his quiet empathy wrapping around you like a warm embrace. “You are not alone,” he says softly. “And you never will be, as long as I am here.”

- Over time, Kurt becomes more than just a mentor—he’s your family. His unwavering belief in you helps you believe in yourself, and his gentle guidance gives you the strength to start healing. When he tells you, “You are like a sibling to me,” you feel a warmth you’ve never known before.

Scott Summers aka. Cyclops

- You meet Scott after he catches you skateboarding through the mansion’s hallways, narrowly avoiding a collision with Jean. “What do you think you’re doing?!” he demands, his tone sharp. You roll your eyes, unimpressed by his authority, but Scott doesn’t back down. “This isn’t a playground,” he says firmly. “If you’re going to be here, you need to follow the rules.”

- Scott’s strict demeanor grates on you, and you go out of your way to push his buttons. Every time he tells you to stop doing something, you double down, your defiance fueling his frustration. “You can’t just do whatever you want,” he says one day, his voice rising. “This isn’t about control—it’s about keeping you safe!”

- Despite his exasperation, Scott can’t help but worry about you. He starts noticing the bruises, the late-night returns, the way you flinch whenever someone mentions your parents. “Is everything okay at home?” he asks gently, his concern breaking through his usual stoicism. You brush him off, but his question lingers in your mind.

- Scott eventually realizes that his strict approach isn’t working, so he tries a different tactic. He starts showing up at the skate park, watching from a distance as you pull off tricks. “You’ve got talent,” he admits grudgingly. “But talent doesn’t mean much if you don’t take care of yourself.” His rare praise catches you off guard, and you start seeing him in a new light.

- He begins mentoring you, teaching you the value of discipline and structure. “It’s not about following orders,” he explains. “It’s about having a plan, knowing what you’re fighting for.” His lessons are tough, but they resonate, and you find yourself striving to meet his expectations—not because you have to, but because you want to.

- The turning point comes when Scott finds you sitting alone in the mansion’s garden, your usual bravado stripped away. “I don’t know how to fix this,” you admit, your voice shaking. Scott sits beside you, his presence steady and reassuring. “You don’t have to do it alone,” he says quietly. “We’re here for you—I’m here for you.”

- Scott becomes a pillar in your life, someone you can rely on no matter what. His unwavering support gives you the strength to face your demons, and his belief in you helps you start believing in yourself. When he calls you “family,” it’s the first time the word feels real, and you know you’ve finally found a place where you belong.

Jean Grey aka. Marvel Girl / Phoenix

- You meet Jean when you crash into her during a particularly reckless skateboard trick, nearly sending her coffee flying. She catches it with her telekinesis, raising an eyebrow as she looks you over. “Impressive landing,” she says dryly. “But maybe next time, try not to take me out with you.” Her calm demeanor throws you off, but you can’t help noticing the faint amusement in her smile.

- Jean quickly picks up on your chaotic nature—not just from your antics, but because your mind is loud, a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions that practically scream for attention. “You don’t have to prove anything to anyone,” she tells you one day after catching you sneaking out for another dangerous stunt. Her words linger, even if you act like they don’t matter.

- She doesn’t confront you as directly as others might, but her presence is constant. She starts showing up in subtle ways—inviting you to sit with her during meals, offering to help patch you up after a bad fall, or simply listening when you’re too tired to pretend everything’s fine. Jean has a knack for making you feel seen, even when you’re trying to disappear into the noise.

- One day, after you’ve come home battered and bruised yet again, Jean corners you in the kitchen. “Why are you doing this to yourself?” she asks, her voice gentle but firm. When you try to brush her off, she places a hand on yours. “I know what it’s like to feel out of control. But there are other ways to find freedom.” Her sincerity cracks something open in you, though you’re not ready to admit it yet.

- Jean begins introducing you to meditation, something you initially laugh off as “not your thing.” But when she guides you through it, her voice soft and steady, you find a surprising sense of peace. “Chaos doesn’t define you,” she says one evening. “You can still be yourself without destroying yourself.” Her unwavering belief in you starts to shift how you see yourself.

- The turning point comes when Jean catches you breaking down after a particularly bad day. You try to push her away, but she doesn’t let you. “You’re allowed to feel this way,” she says, her arms wrapping around you in a warm embrace. “But you don’t have to face it alone.” For the first time, you let yourself cry in front of someone, and her compassion feels like a lifeline.

- Jean becomes your safe haven, the person who reminds you that strength doesn’t always mean pushing through the pain. She helps you channel your energy into healthier outlets, guiding you with patience and understanding. When she calls you “family,” it feels like coming home, and you know you’ve found someone who will always have your back.

Ororo Munroe aka. Storm

- You meet Storm during a thunderstorm, when you’re out pulling stunts despite the pouring rain. She appears seemingly out of nowhere, her white hair glowing against the dark sky. “What are you doing out here?” she asks, her voice calm but commanding. When you shrug and say something about “living life to the fullest,” she shakes her head. “This isn’t living. This is tempting fate.”

- Ororo is both fascinated and concerned by your recklessness. She sees your wild spirit but also senses the pain behind it. “The storm inside you is powerful,” she says one day, her gaze piercing. “But if you do not learn to guide it, it will consume you.” Her words stick with you, even if you pretend not to care.

- Unlike others, Ororo doesn’t try to control you. Instead, she shows you the beauty of balance. She takes you on walks through nature, pointing out how even the fiercest storms have purpose and harmony. “Freedom isn’t chaos,” she says gently. “It’s understanding your power and using it wisely.” Her wisdom challenges your worldview in ways you don’t expect.

- After one particularly dangerous stunt leaves you with a sprained ankle, Ororo carries you back to the mansion without a word. Later, as she wraps your foot with care, she looks at you with a mix of sternness and compassion. “Why do you punish yourself like this?” she asks softly. You have no answer, but the question lingers.

- Storm begins teaching you control—not through force, but through patience. She encourages you to embrace your passions without letting them rule you. She even takes you flying with her, the wind carrying you both as she shows you what true freedom feels like. “You are not a prisoner of your past,” she says one evening. “You can create your own path.”

- The breakthrough comes during a quiet moment in the mansion garden, where you admit that your recklessness comes from a place of pain and neglect. Ororo listens without judgment, her presence as steady as the earth beneath your feet. “You are stronger than you realize,” she says, her voice full of conviction. “And you are not alone in this.”

- Over time, Ororo becomes your guide and your family. Her unwavering belief in you helps you find balance in your life, and her calm strength inspires you to grow. When she calls you “child of the storm,” it’s not just a nickname—it’s a reminder that you’ve found a place where you truly belong.

Piotr Rasputin aka. Colossus

- You meet Piotr after crashing into him—literally. Your skateboard ricochets off his metal form, leaving you sprawled on the ground. “Are you alright?” he asks, his deep voice filled with concern. When you laugh it off, he frowns. “You should be more careful. Your life is not something to take lightly.”

- Piotr is immediately struck by your wild energy, but instead of chastising you, he approaches you with gentle curiosity. “Why do you live this way?” he asks one day, his steel-blue eyes sincere. When you deflect with a joke, he doesn’t press, but his quiet concern stays with you.

- Despite his towering form, Piotr is surprisingly soft-spoken and kind. He starts looking out for you in small ways—offering to carry your gear, fixing your skateboard when it breaks, even cooking meals for you when he notices you survive on junk food. “You must take care of your body,” he says with a small smile. “It is the only one you have.”

- One evening, after a particularly reckless stunt leaves you limping back to the mansion, Piotr sits you down and talks about his own struggles with responsibility and self-worth. “I know what it is like to feel lost,” he says quietly. “But pain does not have to define you.” His words are simple but powerful, and they linger in your mind.

- Piotr begins teaching you art as a way to channel your energy. At first, you scoff at the idea of painting, but his patience wins you over. “Art is not about perfection,” he says, guiding your hand. “It is about expression.” Slowly, you find yourself drawn to the calmness it brings, a stark contrast to your usual chaos.

- The turning point comes when you confide in Piotr about your neglectful parents. He listens without interruption, his steady presence grounding you. “You deserve better,” he says firmly. “And you are not alone anymore.” His unwavering support feels like a lifeline, and for the first time, you let yourself believe in the possibility of a better future.

- Piotr becomes a constant source of strength and stability in your life. His quiet kindness helps you find balance, and his belief in you gives you the courage to grow. When he calls you “family,” it feels like a promise—a reminder that you’ll never have to face the world alone again.

Hank McCoy aka. Beast

- Your first encounter with Hank is in his lab, where you crash into a shelf of equipment while trying to skateboard through the mansion hallways. He looks up from his work, unamused, as you sheepishly pick up a beaker. “Fascinating,” he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “An experiment in chaos.” You expect him to yell, but instead, he studies you with quiet curiosity, his sharp intellect already dissecting your motives.

- Hank is both intrigued and exasperated by your lack of structure. “Do you understand the repercussions of your actions?” he asks when you try to sneak off with a bag of chips for dinner instead of eating a proper meal. His lectures are long and full of big words, but somewhere in the middle, you catch a hint of genuine concern.

- He starts observing your behavior more closely, not as a judgment but as a puzzle to solve. “You remind me of entropy,” he says one day, his voice surprisingly gentle. “Chaotic, unpredictable, but not without purpose.” Despite his logical approach, there’s warmth in the way he speaks to you, like he’s trying to understand rather than condemn.

- After finding you late at night in the kitchen, rummaging for junk food with a fresh set of scrapes and bruises, Hank decides to intervene. “Your body is a machine, and you’re running it into the ground,” he says, handing you a plate of something surprisingly healthy. When you grumble about his nagging, he smiles. “Consider it an experiment in self-preservation.”

- Hank starts introducing structure into your life in small, unobtrusive ways—inviting you to join him in the lab, teaching you how to fix your skateboard, and even sneaking vegetables into your meals. You find yourself drawn to his calm and steady presence, even if you won’t admit it out loud.

- One day, after a particularly reckless stunt leaves you with a sprained wrist, you break down and confess the truth about your home life. Hank listens intently, his usual verbosity giving way to silence as he processes your words. “You are not a failed experiment,” he says firmly. “You are a work in progress, and I intend to see you thrive.”

- Over time, Hank becomes your anchor, the person who helps you find balance between chaos and order. His guidance isn’t just about rules—it’s about helping you see your own potential. When he calls you “family,” it feels like the culmination of every moment he spent believing in you, even when you couldn’t believe in yourself.

Erik Lehnsherr aka. Magneto

- You meet Erik when you’re caught trespassing near one of his hideouts, attempting a trick off a rail. He steps out of the shadows, his imposing figure stopping you in your tracks. “You’ve got nerve,” he says, his voice cold and calculating. You expect him to throw you out, but instead, he watches you with a strange mix of curiosity and disdain.

- Erik is fascinated by your wild energy, though he would never admit it. “You remind me of my youth,” he says one day, his tone sharp. “Defiant, reckless, and utterly unafraid of consequences.” His words sting, but there’s something in his gaze—a flicker of understanding—that makes you pause.

- He doesn’t tolerate your antics, but he doesn’t outright condemn them either. Instead, he challenges you, questioning your choices in a way that forces you to reflect. “What are you running from?” he asks bluntly after catching you sneaking out again. His directness catches you off guard, and for once, you don’t have a snarky reply.

- Erik’s approach to helping you is harsh but effective. He doesn’t coddle or comfort—instead, he teaches you the value of strength and self-reliance. “The world will not be kind to you,” he says, his voice heavy with experience. “But that does not mean you must surrender to it.” His lessons are tough, but they resonate deeply.

- Despite his stern demeanor, Erik has moments of surprising gentleness. He notices your injuries, your exhaustion, your deflections, and though he doesn’t press, he makes it clear that he sees you. “Pain is a powerful motivator,” he says one evening. “But it does not have to define you.”

- The turning point comes when you break down after a particularly bad day, your defenses finally shattering. Erik doesn’t offer empty comfort—instead, he shares his own struggles, his own pain. “You are stronger than your circumstances,” he says quietly. “And you are not as alone as you think.”

- Erik becomes an unexpected source of stability in your life. His belief in your strength pushes you to grow, while his rare moments of kindness remind you that even the toughest exteriors can hide a compassionate heart. When he finally calls you “family,” it feels like the highest honor, a testament to the bond you’ve built through fire and resilience.

Wanda Maximoff aka. The Scarlet Witch

- You meet Wanda when you accidentally skate into one of her magical runes, disrupting a spell she was casting. She turns to you, her red eyes glowing faintly. “You shouldn’t be here,” she says, her voice laced with warning. But instead of scolding you, she tilts her head, curious. “Why are you always running?”

- Wanda is both drawn to and exasperated by your chaotic nature. “You remind me of Pietro,” she says one day, her voice tinged with sadness. “Always moving, never stopping to think about the consequences.” Her words cut deeper than you expect, leaving you to wonder why her disappointment stings so much.

- Unlike others, Wanda doesn’t try to impose structure on you. Instead, she meets you where you are, offering understanding without judgment. She starts leaving little charms around the mansion—spells to protect you from injury or to heal your bruises. “You may not care about yourself,” she says softly, “but I do.”

- One night, after returning home with a fresh set of cuts and scrapes, you find Wanda waiting for you. “You don’t have to do this alone,” she says, her voice gentle but firm. When you try to brush her off, she touches your hand, and for a moment, you feel the warmth of her magic easing your pain.

- Wanda starts teaching you small spells—little enchantments to protect yourself or to calm your restless mind. At first, you’re skeptical, but her patience and quiet encouragement win you over. “Magic isn’t about control,” she tells you one day. “It’s about balance—finding harmony within chaos.”

- The breakthrough comes when you finally open up about your neglectful home life. Wanda listens intently, her empathy as deep as her power. “I know what it’s like to feel unwanted,” she says, her voice breaking slightly. “But you are wanted here. You are loved.” Her words feel like a balm, soothing wounds you didn’t know you had.

- Wanda becomes a source of unconditional support in your life. Her kindness and understanding help you start healing, and her belief in you gives you the strength to believe in yourself. When she calls you “family,” it feels like a spell—a promise that no matter what, you’ll always have a place where you belong.

[dinogoofymutated]

SFW!Colossus/Fem!Reader

I've been infected with another fictional man the way in which I pumped this out was ridiculous. I happened to re watch the scene in the movies where the government breaks into the mansion and seeing Piotr act like a big brother/dad to all the kids really got to me. That and the Deadpool movies (even though I thinks he's a little stuffy in those.) I even rewatched the episode he had in the animated series so that I knew I would get his character right and DAMN ugh god I juts have a thing for big men with soft hearts. especially the ones who are family oriented.

ALSO HOLY SHIT TY FOR 600 FOLLOWERS???? when did yall get here???? I swear I was at like 48 two weeks ago lmao time flies when you're thirsty for the X men I guess!! TWs: None? No pronouns mentioned but I went ahead and labeled it as fem because it's basically about kids forcefully adopting you as their mom. Kids having night terrors mentioned.

Can you imagine sort of just being adopted by the students at the mansion as mutant mom?? At that point you don't really get a choice. Like you start out being very patient with these kids and making sure to keep bandaids, burn cream, pain meds and all of that because one way or another something is gonna happen- and you want to be prepared.

And then you start making breakfast. I feel like normally they probably have a schedule for who has breakfast duty but if you wake up and can't go back to sleep and you take over no one really cares. More sleep for them!!

And then a few times turns into every morning. And you're setting out ketchup for one kids eggs and syrup for another ones hashbrowns- and making sure not to cook with nuts and make sure there's at least three different things on the table that are Kosher or gluten free. Keeping an eye on everyone as they come to get food and noting who did and did not make it to breakfast this morning so that you can make sure they eat later-

And one day you're waking up at 5am and getting ready for the day so you can go make breakfast like always, and you look in the mirror at some point and just realise, holy fuck, when did you become a parent?

It's such a regular thing for kids to call you mom at that point, a knowing how so many of them have come from rough backgrounds, it makes you really happy to know they find comfort in you and will come find you if they need comforting.

And then there's Piotr. Big, strong, Piotr. Piotr who wakes up before dawn and does chores around the mansion in the early morning air. You can take the man out of the farm, but you can't take the farm out of the man. He does the lawn care, chops wood, takes care of whatever animals that might need feeding, replaces the feed in the bird feeder.

Piotr who makes sure to stop by the kitchen to share a small cup of coffee with you before he does chores. Piotr who hangs Hummingbird feeders right outside the kitchen windows because you mentioned you missed the ones your grandmother used to hang. Just Piotr, being strong and masculine and an absolute sweetheart.

He reminds me of that one quote that heard somewhere about masculinity being about protecting femininity, not rejecting it??? That one!!!

Kids call him dad all the time, and even though yall aren't even together, you become the parents of the school. Scott and Jean?? Love them, but they don't have that same kind of parent energy.

It's such a regular thing for kids to find the two of you interacting one way or another. Someone woke up way too early and enters the kitchen to find yall during your coffee, and there's a sweet moment with yall telling them to go back to bed, or offering to make them a quick breakfast. Maybe if they're really young Piotr will offer to tuck them in. He might be really blunt when telling them there are no monsters, but will be a little more gentle when you set a hand on his arm and give him a bit of a look.

The kiddo asks for both of you to tuck them in and you obviously aren't going to refuse them. Which leads to everyone wanting both of you to tuck them in and soon enough you two are doing curfew checks instead of the professor.

It's becomes so regular for the students to treat you two as their parents, and no one actually believes it when they find out that no, you're not a couple. So, they do what kids do and try to get you two together.

First it starts with making sure you two are sat together during everything they can get away with. Then it moves on to things like mistletoe (out of season, Piotr mistook it as an accidental bloom made by one of the agrokinesis kids and took it down) and then more mischievous plans like telling one of you that the other needed help with one thing or another, knowing that either one of you would help out at the drop of a hat. Sureee, they were lying, but you two didn't know that. (most of the time)

The kids just want to see their parents happy and in love. There's nothing wrong with that, is there? It's not like You and Piotr hadn't been helplessly pining for the other the entire time anyway.

You sigh deeply once you finally sneak out of the dorm room, Piotr right behind you. The tall man takes extra care to shut the door very gently, making sure it clicks in place just as silently.

"I thought we were never going to get her to sleep." You whisper to him. One of the youngest girls attending the school had a rather difficult time with night terrors, and would struggle to fall asleep without being tucked in. When you and Piotr were doing curfew checks tonight, she was the only kiddo still awake, and she had practically begged both of you to stay with her untill she finally did fall asleep. It couldn't be just one of you, It had to be both. No matter how many rooms you both had to check tonight, you would never have left her shaken up in such a state. You just hadn't expected it to take an hour.

"Illyana had similar dreams as a little one. It takes time for children to overcome it." Piotr whispers back as you begin to walk down the hallway to check the rest of the rooms. Even when he whispers, his voice is strong and hard to keep quiet. You know there's truth to what he says, and yet you can't help but wish you could do something more to help her with her nightmares. You rub some warmth into your arms anxiously as you think about it, surprised when you feel the warm weight of Piotr's hand settle in between your shoulder blades.

"You're worrying again." He states, frowning slightly when you look up at him. You send him a resigned smile, before it quickly falls as you look away.

"I can't help it. I worry about all of them, her especially. They just... deserve so much more than their lot in life." You say. Piotr hums in response, his thumb brushing idly against your back.

"Their life like us, you mean? Mutants?" His question makes you wince.

"No. Yes? I don't know. I just... I just wish that we could give them more than... this." You say, waving your hands to motion about the mansion. "The school might very well be the only safe space they have their entire life. The world hasn't been kind to them, and I'm not sure it ever will be." Your words begin to quiet down as you finish the sentence, lowing to a whisper that only he can hear. You'd never, ever want any of these kids hear a word of what you're saying. Knowing that hope is really all they have at their age, and you of all people refuse to be the one to destroy that beautiful childlike optimism.

"That is what we are working for as the X-men, yes? To change that?" Piotr asks you point blank, his hand moving up towards the back of your neck in a soothing manner that still gives you goosebumps, feeling the comforting heat of his hand even stronger than before.

"Yeah, but..."

"Then we are doing all we can." He finishes, a smile on his face that's so determined and confident that it very nearly changes your mind completely. Nonetheless, it's a reassuring smile that makes your chest feel warm and fuzzy. You smile back at him finally, and you swear you see fondness in his eyes.

It doesn't take long before the two of you are finally at your door. You give Piotr a short and sweet goodnight as you begin to step inside, but he stops you before you go, gently catching hold of your arm. For the first time, you think you've seen him debate on his words. His mouth opens, but he doesn't speak at first, and you swear you see a blush rising to his cheeks as he does so.

"You'd make a good mother." He says eventually, and it makes you smile widely.

"You'd make a good dad." You tell him. There's silence between you as he brushes a stray lock of hair away from your face in a fond and caring manner, and you swear you could trick yourself into believing that you and Piotr were already in domestic bliss if this moment goes on for any longer. The tall man leans in, and you find your mind short circuiting as he presses a kiss to your forehead. The simple action somehow leaving you beyond flustered.

"Sleep well, Любовь моя. I will see you in the morning." Piotr tells you, before walking off at his regular stiff pace. You stand in your doorway for a minute, watching him leave with a bit of a confused smile on your face. Out of all the Russian nicknames he's called you in the past, you had never heard him say that one before. You wonder if you should pick up a book on the language as you close your door and finally crawl into bed, although part of you is content to leave it be. Colossus had always been blunt, and you're sure he'd tell you eventually. You fall asleep just as you always do, excited to see him when you wake up in the morning.

[arminreindl]

I know I usually talk about crocs, but this is too good not to share. A new giant basilosaurid whale with weird anatomy from the Eocene of Peru. Perucetus colossus is a peculiar animal. It's bones were incredibly thick and incredibly dense, very much unlike those of modern whales and even more extreme than even those of the thicker basilosaurids (aptly named Pachycetinae i.e. thick whales). These adaptations have been compared to modern manatees and dugongs. Know the weight range is highly dependent on what you base the math on. Using manatees as a proxy, you get a weight of "only" 85 tons....using extreme values for whales a whopping 340 tons. Mean values for whales a still really big 180 tons. This could indicate that Perucetus rivaled the Blue Whale as the worlds heaviest animal ever.

The ecology is poorly understood tho. We know basilosaurids preferred coastal waters, and with all the similarities to manatees it is reasonable to assume that Perucetus was a shallow water animal itself. It also likely wasn't the fastest swimmer. And the lack of a skull basically means we can't say much on its diet. We can wager a guess and say it wasn't a predator because, you know....it also likely wasn't a grazer. Cool as it would be, we don't really have herbivorous whales like that so its incredibly unlikely. The two more likely suggestions are that it lived on small animals burried in the ocean floor, sorta like a grey whale. Or that it was a scavenger like a sleeper shark (tho I find that suggestion far less likely, giving me scavenging T.rex vibes ngl). But again, once we get a skull we can talk about this better.

Sidenote I do find the name a little underwhelming. It's a bizarre animal and the best we could come up with is "Colossal whale from Peru". I'm also not a mammal person, but from what I'm being told the silhouette is a little exaggerated and it wasn't necessarily that thick in life.

Life reconstruction by A. Gennari, paper can be found here A heavyweight early whale pushes the boundaries of vertebrate morphology | Nature

[fandomnerd9602]

Spideypool: guess who?

Gwenpool: we’re back!

A/N: what now?

Gwenpool: just look at the title @fandomnerd9602 !

Rogue x Wolverine!Reader NSFW Headcanons

Rogue never got to experience love before she met you, the son of Wolverine.

You’re the only one who’s not affected by her parasitic touch. She was ecstatic when she realized it. But yet love came naturally for you and her

Rogue is an affectionate lover. She always wants to wrap her arms around you in some way or rub her fingers across your body.

She is a goofy lover. Rogue loves making little quips and jokes as the two of you make love.

Favorite position? Missionary. She loves looking into your eyes and letting you just how good you make her feel. She also revels in knowing that she’s making you feel like heaven.

Another favorite? Against the wall. It’s exciting for her.

Rogue is big on encouraging you, “oh sugah! Keep going! You know the right spots don’t ya? Oh baby you make my heart skip a beat!”

Oral? Big fan of giving and receiving. It’s a mutually loving experience.

Kink? Sensory play. She loves blindfolding you and running a feather across you. Anything soft really. She also loves it when you do it to her.

She has a high drive. Could be attributed to her years without physical contact or maybe that’s just how attracted she is to you.

A big no no? Whips. Rogue is all about love not pain. “There’s enough pain in the world, sugah, I don’t wanna hurt you”

Anna Marie is a gentle lover, preferring to take it slow and steady. She relishes your touch. But she’s not adverse to little fun quickies.

Turn on? When you get all sweaty after a training session with Logan and Colossus. Her smile turns you on.

Favorite body part? You love her thighs. You want them wrapped around your waist or face all day long. Rogue loves your fingers and she loves caressing your claws, she’ll place little kisses to them.

Anna Marie loves falling asleep in your arms after going a couple rounds. It makes her feel safe to be spooning with you. She wants you and only you.

Rogue is a major tease. She’ll steal your shirts and wear them around the Mansion because she knows how her wearing your clothes is a major turn on. Rogue will wiggle her hips or wear the pants that accentuate her body just right and top it off with a wink too.

Rogue is a fairly loud lover in bed. She’ll guide you to the places that make her gasp and scream in euphoria. “Oh sugah!!!” She also laughs a lot too, it’s one of the things you love about her.

Your life with Rogue is full of love, adoration and exploration. There’s no one else you want to grow old with.

Spideypool: aww @fandomnerd9602 you make everything so cute and fluffy

Gwenpool: yeah

A/N: thanks. will you two please leave my house now?!

Spideypool: nah we love crashing on your couch, buddy

A/N: fine

Tags: @ma1egamer @jacelion @deafeningsharkslimeempath @jadenyukiyusakufujikiyutoduelist @iamnicodemus @russianredassassin @revanshand @wombatking @konstantin609

[bouncingbluebeast]

So like, the X-Men have had a Best Butt Competition at some point, right?

((You put a bunch of superhuman hot people in a single mansion and have them living together for years - DECADES even - and surely someone like Gambit or Wolverine is getting ideas...

Scott's too much of a boyscout to admit any answers and calls it "immature". Mostly he's just insecure that he doesn't have that much for buns in the bakery. It's okay, Scottie, you have wonderful eyes...

Xavier wouldn't stand for it while he's still alive, having to empath around a bunch of hormonal gifted youngsters already.

Logan's a shortstack with a surprising amount of backbacon, though his leering and grumpy stoicism makes him pretty hot-and-cold as a judge.

Hank was an absolute hound-dog growing up, though I think he'd be far too concerned about disrespecting the ladies of the X-Mansion to participate. He did play football growing up, though. It builds the glutes very nicely.

Jean's pretty bashful about viewing her teammates in such a manner, though I think her ogling of Scott and Logan implies other priorities. I imagine she's a bit more willowy, but having a baby certainly changes the body and she's just as beautiful after. I think Jean Grey with freckles would be absolutely lovely. Give the Phoenix some stardust on her skin.

(It's difficult to guess a lot of the Marvel women's body types beyond "generically hourglass supermodel" because that's mostly what is viewed as 'ideal' or 'the pinnacle' of aesthetics. These superheroes are viewed more as concepts than people for designing their forms, especially in Marvel when it's a lot of Humans-Among-Gods)

Ororo. The Kenyan princess, Queen of Storms? Omega-Class Mutant, Alpha-Class Ass. The woman practically invented thunder thighs, and she is all the more powerful. I don't think anyone would dare disrespect someone who can smite you with a glance, but why even would you when she's so striking?

Colossus. Literal buns of steel. Points given for puns, taken for practicality. Only the bravest soldiers can claim those Russian peaks and I salute them.

Remy is a statistical wonder of Cajun cuisine while staying lean as a telephone pole. Not a single crumb of cornbread on this man's plate and it is the deepest tragedy. Secretly, I think this is the part Rogue was disappointed she couldn't feel-oop...

Anna-Marie the southern bell with hips to tell. With her hair and smile, you would be remiss to look lower and find less than if you stay in her eyes. I think a pear-shape makes sense for her, with a little pocket around her abs and very cute calves for when she wears a sundress.

Nightcrawler is a flirt and a charmer, but he is also a consummate and pious gentleman who is always seeing the good and beautiful in his companions. He'd never reduce his comrades - his found family - to something so base as the quality of their posterior. He knows that each and every one of them carries the beauty and the image of God, and he knows they are all winners in His sight.

((As he turns to leave, everyone agrees it's Nightcrawler.))

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Hola! Just read your writer!reader x logan and i am absolutely loving it! In the same universe, maybe wade tries setting her with colossus? Happy with anything and everything ♥️

Logan opened his eyes with a start and jumped when the book he'd been reading fell to the floor- one of yours. One that you'd written. Not his taste. The plot was fine. The characters were fine... The men were too understanding or outright bastards. And the porn was a little too girly. But then- it was a romance novel, so. It tracked. You knew your Audience. Even then. This smacked of early work.

He picked it up and set it aside, taking stock of the apartment. You weren't on the couch. And he could hear the shower running. And smell bath products. The expensive ones he saw earlier when he went to take a leak. You sure didn't skimp on hair and skincare. He guessed a little harmless vanity or some self-indulgence. You were a good-looking girl and wanted to stay that way.

Nodding to himself he finished the beer he helped himself to and went to rifle through your kitchen looking for another drink, annoyed that he killed your beer. He knew you didn't drink it and you kept it for guests. But bless your heart, there was some bourbon. So he cracked into that, happy it was open and cheap. Knowing you it was there for cooking with.

"Trigger, dude, move," you chide.

Logan paused and listened for a second, trying to gauge if he should do something, but when you come around the corner with wet hair and a hand on Trigger's back, you look a little better.

"You look like hell," Logan observed.

"Feel like hell, thanks," you tell him, rubbing your eyes. "Which is an improvement."

He smiled a little, humming in agreement. "Do you always sleep that hard?"

"Medicated yeah," you sigh.

"Because I took the dog out, Ate half the shit in your freezer, drank all your beer- hell I even got bored enough to read one of your books."

"You could have turned on the Tv if I was that out-"

"S' okay, Princess," Logan said, opening a Gatorade for you and sliding it over, "it was interesting to see what makes you tick- don't think some sensitive artist is gonna make you happy though."

[yennefer-of-vengerbergs]

Elixir of the Colossus

Kinktober 2024 - Day 12 - Size Difference (from this prompt list)

Look at me, writing something for a prompt event for the first time, and just in time too 😆 (it's already the 12th where I'm from, so it counts, if I do say so myself 😁)

Rating: E (18+)

Pairing: Astarion x Syanna (my Dark Urge OC)

Summary: Astarion accidentally drinks an elixir of the Colossus, which only leads to a very tantalising prospect for both himself and Syanna.

Tags: inappropriate use of Elixir of the Colossus, smut with feelings (and banter), sexually explicit content, oral sex (m!receiving, f!receiving), vaginal fingering, established relationship

Word count: 3472

Divider from here

Tags:

@iizven | @bg3-fanfic-reblogs

If you want to be added to my tag list, please let me know in a comment or message!

Read below or on AO3. Comments are appreciated so please feel free to leave them 💖

Syanna couldn’t help the grin that had spread over her face. The fact that Astarion had managed to accidentally drink an Elixir of the Colossus was something she wasn’t quite surprised by, but the results were certainly interesting to see. 

As expected, if one were to guess strictly based on the name, he had grown much larger and taller, and, if one were to guess once more, much stronger as well. 

He, on the other hand, seemed irritated.

“Honestly, who puts a potion in a wine bottle? Couldn’t they have labelled it at least?”

She laughed.

“I did mention you probably shouldn’t drink it without seeing what it was, didn’t I?”

“Really, darling? That’s what you have to say? What if it was poison, hm? What then?” he replied, despite the fact it wasn’t actually helping his case. 

Syanna raised an eyebrow at that. 

“All the more reason not to drink it then, hm?” she moved closer to him, “And not to worry, I have antidotes for poison anyway.”

“Here I was, hoping for a loving and understanding reaction from my darling, and what does she do? She mocks me!” he said dramatically, as if he had been deeply offended and wounded. 

She giggled at his antics. She then looked up at him, so she wouldn’t be talking to his chest.

Gods, he was tall.

In any case, playfulness and jokes aside, she had a point that she wanted to make.

“Oh, I can be plenty loving and understanding.” she reached up to his face, caressing his cheek, “But maybe consider not being as impulsive? Like you said, it could have been something else.” she looked at him with affection before continuing, “And honestly?That’s what worries me out of all…this.” she gestured in his general direction, trying to mimic the fact that he had grown in size.

He looked at her, eyes widening slightly, in that way that always disarmed her completely, before nodding and pulling her closer to himself. 

He then cleared his throat.

“Well, I suppose it’s a good thing this was the only side effect it had.”

Syanna smiled.

“Mhm, and it suits you, too.”

“Most things do, darling.” he couldn’t help but smirk, which only made her giggle again.

“Modest, as always, I see.”

“And looking perfect as always, don’t forget that.” 

He then took her by surprise, if the startled sound she made was any indication, his hands lowering and lifting her into his arms so he could kiss her. It was gentle, yet firm and full of affection, all at the same time, which only made it all the more perfect and all their own. A small moan left Astarion as he felt Syanna’s fingers grasping his hair, feeling the gentlest of tugs before she slowly dragged her fingernails over his scalp with one hand, while the other arm was wrapped around his neck for support. Smiling into the kiss, he squeezed her thighs as he walked them both over to their shared bed, sitting down with her on his lap, continuing to hold her close against him.

And she felt so much smaller than usual in his arms. 

Astarion couldn’t help but enjoy that feeling, especially with how she seemed to just melt into him, chasing his touch.

A sigh left him when she eventually pulled away from their kiss, her lips swollen and flushed from it. 

Then there was the way she looked at him, with love and affection so clearly on display. Or how she traced his face with her fingers. And how she smiled at him. 

It all made him feel…happy. 

Content. 

All because he had everything he could ever want. 

And all of it was with her.

A pleasant hum escaped him when she had started to trace one of his ears with her fingertips, his eyes closing from the sensation, enjoying every moment of it, every teasing pass she made, back and forth, and oh so slowly. When he opened them once again, she was still smiling. 

“This suits you too.”

He couldn’t help but return the smile.

“Another one of the many things that do, darling.”

Syanna giggled once more before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. She then looked at him.

“Is this alright?”

“Oh, my love, it absolutely is.”

Then, Astarion pulled her closer towards him, so that she was higher up, pressing kisses along her jaw until he reached her neck, making her sigh, just as a shiver ran down her spine. His hands had begun wandering over her body, caressing everywhere he could reach before slipping under the shirt she wore, finally feeling so much more of her skin under his palms. But at the same time, he wanted more, wanted to actually see her.

More of her.

All of her.

It was the only reason why he stopped kissing her neck, shifting them just enough to be able to slowly start undressing her, unbuttoning her shirt, sliding it down her arms, letting his own hands linger on her for longer, each touch filled with need - his own need for her, for closeness, to feel her and how she reacted to him. And for how that was reflected in her, how she needed him, how she continued to reach for him, to keep him close, to melt into his touch. 

He then felt her shifting slightly, the smallest of groans leaving her as she tried to settle more comfortably. 

“Sorry, my leg was falling asleep.” she explained.

So Astarion moved them both - although slightly awkwardly, obviously not quite used to the change caused by the elixir - so that she was laying on her back, with him above her. 

“Well, we can’t have that, can we now?” he smirked.

Another giggle. Gods, he loved it when she giggled like that.

“My hero.” she smiled.

“Aren’t I just?”

He kissed her again, one hand reaching for her once more, cupping a breast, teasing and kneading through the fabric of the brassiere she wore, her breathing starting to quicken. 

The smallest of whimpers left her as Astarion pulled away from her, getting up so that he could continue undressing her. She watched as he removed her boots, his fingers lingering on each ankle each time. And she kept watching eagerly, anticipation building, as he then reached for her trousers, his fingers hooking both into them and the underwear she wore, raising her hips to help him with pulling them off her. Once he had thrown them on the floor, Astarion’s attention was on her once again. 

“Gods, you’re beautiful.” he breathed, as he made his way back to her on the bed, “Always so beautiful.” he kissed along her stomach, moving up towards her breasts, teasing each one, be it with a hand, his mouth, or by gently letting his fangs drag onto every exposed part of her soft, plush skin. 

“Flatterer.” she said, in between the sighs of pleasure she breathed out from the attention he was spoiling her with already. 

Astarion looked at her, amusement obvious in his expression. 

“I’ll have you know, darling, I am being the picture of utmost honesty right now.” 

She grinned, pulling him into a kiss, soft moans and grunts leaving both of them, her hands slowly wandering and caressing, reaching for him as he got back up, watching as he began to undress. 

Her eyes widened once he stood in front of her, fully naked. He was always a sight to behold, even more so in that moment, given the circumstances, but there was no denying it, they would certainly have to find some…workarounds.

“Well, that’s going to be…a tight fit.” she quipped.

“Oh good, puns…” Astarion groaned, his face the image of mock annoyance.

Syanna giggled at that, followed by another grin. 

“Fine, fine, how about…a bit of a stretch?”

She fully laughed when she saw him rolling his eyes, still trying to hide his amusement.

“Gods above…”

“I’m a comedic genius and you know it, love.”

He raised an eyebrow in reply.

“Do keep telling yourself that, darling.”

“I will, don’t worry.” she sat up, extending a hand towards him, “Now, get back here and let me spoil you.”

“Now that, I like the sound of.” he replied, already making his way back towards her, his mouth finding hers once more, his hands moving over her until they reached her brassiere, finally removing it, baring her to him fully, before lowering them both on the bed once more. 

Syanna sighed into their kiss when she felt his length between them, rested onto her stomach, enjoying the tantalising feel and  sheer size of him on her. Astarion pulled away shortly after, looking smugly at her. 

“And I think we can still find a way or two to enjoy ourselves.” he purred. 

She stretched languidly underneath him, her eyes closed, humming in agreement. 

“I may have a few ideas already.”

“Is that so?” he leaned in closer to her, “ Why don’t you show me then?” he whispered in her ear, making her shiver. 

She did so love it when he whispered to her, his voice not unlike a low purr. Opening her eyes, she placed a hand on his chest, gently guiding him to lie down for her as she moved to be the one straddling him. Leaning down, she began to tease him, gently nibbling at an earlobe, one hand resting on his shoulder, while the other traced his other ear, then along his jaw and down his neck, enjoying the small, breathy sounds he made, all for her. All because of her - she truly loved seeing him enjoy himself in this way, with her bringing him pleasure in whichever way she could, in whichever way he wanted, something that always added to her own enjoyment of their intimate moments. 

And how she knew just what he enjoyed…

Astarion groaned when he felt her lips moving to his neck, the hand which was tracing his features making its way lower and lower between them until she reached his cock, which she teased just as gently with her fingertips, smiling when she felt his hips moving towards her, wanting more of her touch. Shifting slightly, she took him into her hand, slowly moving along his hardening length, her thumb teasing his tip every now and then, spreading the precum that had begun to gather. At the same time, she watched him, taking in each of his reactions, each moan, each sigh, each movement he made, finding it truly intoxicating, heat already pooling inside of her. 

Wanting nothing more than to feel more of him in any way she could, Syanna let go of him briefly as she moved lower, trailing kisses along his chest, his stomach, his hips, until she finally reached his cock. Keeping her eyes on him, she kissed his tip, a smile appearing as Astarion squirmed at the sensation. All she wanted was to give him more of that, of anything he would have wanted, so she carried on, taking him in her hand once more, her tongue darting out and licking along him, all the way from the tip to base, savouring the taste and feel of him, pleased to see the way he responded to her attention. 

Finally, she took him in her mouth, her lips closing around him, a low moan leaving her at the sensation. 

Gods, he was so much bigger now.

She began moving her head, slowly taking more and more of him, as much of him as she could handle, with each movement she made, Astarion’s hands gripping the sheets as he moaned, which only spurred her on.

Perfect, everything about him, about the intimacy they were sharing, was so utterly perfect…

Her hand reached for his own, holding on to it as he gripped it in return, wanting more of the closeness that they shared, all while she continued to suck and lick and swallow around him, only stopping to catch her breath. Even then, in between those moments, she would still shower him with her full attention, her mouth finding his balls, kissing and teasing and sucking on them as well, her free hand lazily moving along his twitching cock, the low coil inside of him tightening more and more with each moment, bringing him closer to the edge, the lewdest of noises leaving him. 

“More, darling…I need…more.”

She couldn’t help but smile, pleased at how he was melting under her touch, panting and moaning.

“Only if you ask nicely.” she teased, her thumb paying particular attention to his sensitive tip.

“You wicked-” he groaned when he felt her tongue running over his slit, tasting and teasing him again, his back arching, his hips thrusting upwards in an attempt to get his point across, “-little witch…”

“Now, that’s not very nice, is it?” she smirked, before licking along his length once more, earning another sigh from Astarion.

“...Please.”

Syanna hummed, taking him into her mouth once more, her tongue swirling around him, greedily gathering all of the precum from his leaking slit, savouring the taste of him. She could tell he was close, what with the way he was gasping and moaning her name, or how he twitched and tensed when her mouth found him, or how his hand gripped hers even tighter than before. 

And she wanted nothing more than to push him over that edge…

Her other hand had begun to wander across his stomach, caressing him wherever she could reach, all while she took as much of him as she could in her mouth once again, a low, throaty moan leaving her as she felt each twitch, each shallow thrust into her mouth - so careful not overwhelm her - that perfect outline of him, even that vein that ran along his length, that she so enjoyed focusing on each and every time. And she carried on doing so, time seemingly stretching, with nothing else mattering in that moment, Astarion’s own moans and gasps acting like music to her ears until finally, his climax washed over him, filling her mouth with his seed, which she swallowed even more greedily than before. Once he was fully spent, a dazed look apparent on his face, she let go of him, moving to rest her head on his chest.

Astarion, on the other hand, had pulled her into a kiss, holding her close to himself, stroking her back lazily, enjoying just how blissful everything had been, and still was.

Eventually, he moved them so that she was underneath him once again, one knee then hooking under her own, spreading her legs to accommodate him. She looked at him through her lashes, gasping as his hand slipped between them both, teasing her slick folds before finding her clit and gently rubbing circles on it. She moaned at the sensation, her back arching and a shiver running down her spine as he continued his ministrations, followed by a whine when he pulled his hand away. 

Astarion leaned closer to her.

“Look at you, so needy already.” he whispered, his fingers ghosting over her before teasing her entrance, feeling just how wet she already was.

She squirmed under his touch, wanting, needing more of it. 

“Ah, patience, love.” he dragged a finger along her, spreading more of that same wetness over her folds, “This isn’t something you want to rush.”

Of course he would be a relentless tease, what else did she expect?

Rush or no rush, teasing or no teasing, it didn’t mean she wouldn’t at least try to get what she wanted. 

She reached for his hand, wanting to guide him to where she wanted him to be, but Astarion was quicker than her, moving it out of reach, tutting.

“Naughty, aren’t you?”

Syanna smiled a cheeky smile.

“Only for you.”

Besides, two could play at the game he had started.

She started running her own fingers over her skin, starting from her throat, then moving lower, towards her breasts, stopping only to tease a nipple before continuing to go lower, and lower and-

Astarion stopped her, grabbing her hands, bringing them back up and above her head, holding them in place with his own.

“Whatever will I do with you, darling…” he purred.

She arched her hips into him. 

“You could always touch me yourself, you know.” she suggested, looking at him as innocently as she could.

Astarion pretended to think about her suggestion.

“Only if you ask nicely, darling.” It was his turn to smirk at her. 

Syanna exhaled sharply, an amused sound leaving her as she grinned.

“Please, Astarion…” she sighed.

Letting go of her hands, he pulled her into a kiss before his mouth made its way lower, nipping at her skin, kissing over it, enjoying the way she continued to sigh and softly moan whenever he’d reach a particularly sensitive spot. 

And the way she would run her hands through his hair, or splay them wherever she could reach, or just hold on to him…

And then there were those delightful noises she made when his mouth found her breasts once more, lavishing each one with all his attention, be it by placing kisses on them, or by flicking his tongue over her nipples, or by teasing her with his fangs.

He made his way lower, trailing kisses all along her stomach, his hands gripping her hips as he reached her mound, placing a kiss there as well. 

Pulling her closer, he settled in between her legs, his mouth so tantalisingly close to her that her heart was racing with anticipation. 

She gasped when she felt his tongue on her, overwhelming as it was. He was overwhelming, in the best possible way, as he lapped at her folds, his tongue dipping into her, indulging in her, savouring everything she offered. Every moan, every little shake of excitement, every gentle tug on his hair and every pass of her nails over his scalp as he spoiled her thoroughly. And especially the louder moan she let out when his tongue made its way back to her clit, teasing and licking before catching it between his lips. Or, even better, how she gasped and arched her back as he looked up at her when he slid a finger inside of her, surprised by the size of it.

Syanna then met his eyes as he went to grip her thigh with one hand, while the other reached for hers, holding on to it, mirroring her own action from before. 

He slipped a second finger inside of her, made much easier by just how deliciously wet she was. She moaned his name, enjoying the way he stretched her as he fingered her, the sensation truly incredible to her. 

It was almost dizzying. 

Then he had found that spot that always drove her mad, making her cry out.

“Gods, Astarion-” she moaned again, so wantonly, moving her hips, leaning more into him, wanting more of his mouth and fingers. “Please…”

He grinned at that, stopping briefly. 

“Please what, my dear?”

Syanna groaned as she tried to move her hips. 

He let go of her hand so that he could still her movements.

“Ah, use your words, love.”

Another groan left her. 

“Please don’t stop…”

His fingers resumed their movements, although much slower than before, making her squirm.

“Although…” he teased her clit with his tongue as he spoke, “I don’t think that’s what you wanted to ask before, is it?” Astarion looked up at her from between her legs, waiting for her reply. 

“...Harder, please…” she sighed.

Astarion’s only reply was to pump his fingers in and out of her in a rougher manner, just the way he knew she enjoyed, his tongue lapping at her again. Her breath hitched, her legs tensed, all while one of her hands reached for him once more, the other making its way to a breast, kneading and teasing. 

All she could focus on was him and how he made her feel. 

On the wet, lewd noises from between her legs. The groans and humming coming from Astarion as he thoroughly ravished her.

On how she clenched around his fingers, the heat that had been pooling inside of her eventually turning to fire, until it could no longer be contained, a mixture of moans and curses leaving her lips as her climax finally washed over her so intensely, she thought she would see stars. 

She wasn’t sure how long it had been when Astarion had pulled her into his arms, one hand caressing her back. Probably only moments, but time had seemed to stretch once again. 

If only it could actually do that. 

Because, being in his arms like that, feeling nothing but bliss and love? It certainly was one moment she would not have minded lasting indefinitely. 

[spencer-sweets]

Marvel Fic Recs |James Logan Howlett/Wade Wilson

so like everyone with eyes - i found deadpool and wolverine wildly homoerotic. so, i have been keeping my eye out for some good fanfic of them. while i love the honda odyssey fics, this list is mainly longer narrative or character driven fics. I'll add more as they are completed and I read them.

Unwanted, Dead or Alive by fanficbug Explicit 29,666 “Logan,” Colossus chided. He turned his rage back on Colossus. “No. Fuck you, bolts for brains. No Deadpool? No. Fucking. Wolverine.” *** The X-Men of this universe want Logan to rejoin, but he's not interested unless they let Wade join too. Meanwhile, another threat makes itself known in the form of a skull-faced mercenary.

this one had a nice dose of action and pining and its just really great. i always like when these fanfictions feel like they are actually set in the world they are supposed to be in - with villains and danger just lurking about - and i always enjoy a good fight scene.

Newton's Third Law by capitalismwasamistake Explicit 30,385 “Come on, Wolfie, let’s not fight!” Wade sings as he evades the first swipe with an absurd dance move. “We’ll go dancing tomorrow night!” He retaliates with a kick to Logan’s jaw then both his katanas enter play. “Sorry, I know you wanted more of that song, but we don’t have the licensing budget. How about this instead? Stop!” “In the name of love–” “Before you break my heart–” *** Or, Logan is thrilled he can finally fight someone without holding back. Wade is horny and touch-starved. Oh, and there's The Problem.

this fic earned it's explicit rating. the dove is dead with this one folks. there is a lot of gore and fighting and a vivisection involved but it is a sweet story with a happy ending.

i’m just a human trying to avoid my certain doom (that is falling in love with you) by dazecorr  Teen+ 44,493 He shifted in his seat, the leather sticking to his skin as he absorbed Wade's colourful description. Gun. Even a knife would do. "Trust me, DP." Dopinder’s voice was earnest, almost pleading. "You'll see, everything will play out fine." With a final eye roll, Wade ended the call and slipped the phone into his pocket. As he opened the passenger door and climbed back into the Odyssey, Logan caught the tail end of a begrudging sigh. "Alright, Dopinder's playing the role of our cross-country cupid, so I guess we're doing this." Wade said, his voice cutting through the tension with its playful edge. "But if I end up thrown out of this 'soccer mom special' in the middle of the desert, I'm haunting you first." "Haunt away, you’ll just get a fist-full of salt thrown at your face." Logan muttered, a smirk threatening to break the stern façade. "Keep your hands off the radio." OR WHERE dopinder's getting married, vanessa is the best wing-woman, ellie is a gossip and logan is a very homosexual train wreck OR a poolverine slow burn-ish road trip fic in an immortalised honda odyssey.

im not typically a fan of road trip fics but i really enjoyed this one. it was quiet and soft story between these two. it explores both of them and their characters without the action or violence of the d&p movie.

[icarusredwings]

Beach day filler episode

Thinking about my au thing and if they went to the beach. Who's here:

Scott, Hank, Remi, Kurt, Kevin, Piotr, Wade, Logan, Forge, and Johnathan. The ACTUAL Wolverine.

Jean, Ororo, Rouge, Laura, Ellie, Yukio, Jubilee, Gabby, and Mary puppins. The dog.

As a treat, They all loaded up and went to the beach, infact they actually rented it for the day. Didn't know you could rent a beach, could you? Well, you can, actually. Esspecially when you're the fucking Xmen.

The very first thing that happened when they arrived was Scott playing daddy and forcing everyone to put on sunscreen. (But forgot himself)

Despite Wade pointing out that literally all of his skin is cancerous anyway, Logan slathered him with it, borderline wrestling him to put it on but turns out sunscreen is very slippery and when your opponet keeps getting wrestle-boners (as he called them) he too ended up with a lot of sunscreen on him too.

Hank then brought up the fact that he couldn't really put on sunscreen because.. well... he has fur. This was followed by Kurt arguing that he wasn't putting sunscreen in his fur either. "Uhm... well.. I suppose you have a point." So both the blue boys got away with not having any.

Here's some things that are happening:

Storm, Jean, and Mary puppins are relaxing while lying back on the beach, talking about how silly the younger ones are being and gossiping about their husbands.

Remi is hunting for seashells for Rouge.

Kurt caught a tadpole and held it in his hands for a bit to tease the girls with it. Wade, being the curious little thing that he is, looked at it too and waved it off when they let it go, frowning.

"Aww! Why'd you have to let him go? That was my friend!"

"Zometimes zhe best zhing you can do for a fwiend iz wet zhem go."

"....Im starting to notice a pattern of speech on this team."

"Vhat?"

"Exactly."

Hank asked, "Are you sure this water is sanitary?" In which he was laughed at but reassured it was "much cleaner than the swamp I grew up in" by Remi, who did end up finding some shells for his chere.

At some point during the day, Forge brought people drinks, coming to the girls first with a "Ladies. Godess." Towards Ororo, who couldn't help but roll her eyes fondly as Jubilee giggled. She loved a good romance story.

Yukio announced that she was building a sand castle and approximately 5 grown men joined her. Guess which ones. It was massive. Like- prize worthy good. They even all took a picture with it. Its going above the fire place at home.

Sometime between things, Logan started grilling, telling a whiney Wade, kevin and Kurt that No. He was NOT going swimming with them and they all know better then to ask.

You won't believe who's the one who actually got him to sit a foot in the water, near the shore.

Now, Colossus and Morph (who is using his powers to also be Colossus to match his height) is playing "Water chicken" with Jubilee and Rouge. Next, after that was Ororo and Jean and then a mix of everyone else who wanted to play.

Ellie and Laura talked about how cringy the adults were being. "Esspecially my father."

"Which one?"

"Huh? Oh, right. Both of them.... Wade is not my dad."

"That's valid."

Gabby challenged Kurt to a hand stand contest, and he lost on purose so she could win, parading her around on his shoulders to Logan, who high fived her and then told her to go attack Wade, who was starting to sit by himself and stare at the waves with a look in his eyes that he didn't like. "No, not like that! I meant - damn it, Gabby!! I meant jump on him or something not stab him in the eye!"

This is when Jean giggles and says. "Kids, am I right?" And Logan lets out a huge sigh. "Tell me about it."

For some reason, Johnanthan really is interested in Mary Puppins. "He's probably just trying to figure out if she's a rat a dog or some kind of secret third option."

"Oh well. Puppins is fixed, so im not worried about it- but I swear if you hurt her! You'll be a hat!"

For most of the day, despite everything, Scott (for once in his damn life) seemed relaxed. He was so relaxed that he got a massive sunburn after falling asleep with "LASIK" written on his lower back like a tramp stamp. The only thing that could be done by someone who purposly applied sunscreen to him in this way.

Still, 3 days later, no one will fess up or admit to it, but Logan has a certain smirk whenever he passes him in the hall.

You honestly would just label this "The Wolverine's family and the Summer's go to the beach" because that's bassically what happened. Other than all of this and all the blood left on the beach, They all had a blast. Except for Scott, of course. I'll give you one hint.

Don't fuck with redheads.

[otomiyaa]

Day 25: "No."

Deadpool x Colossus | Nim's Lovely Tickletober 

Word Count: 900

Tagging @theanonemu :3

"No."

Wade was tired of hearing it. At first he wasn't completely aware of it. Like yes, Colossus was just being lovely old Colossus. But the moment Wade started to realize that Colossus said the negative word a lot, he started paying attention to it, and he noticed it way too much.

"Shall we watch sex and the city?"

"Wanna order a pizza?"

"Oh I know, let's go to Disneyland!"

"We should adopt a dog."

"Hey, Colossus, wanna tie me up and violate my sexy body?"

"Do you want cream with that, big guy?"

It didn't matter what Wade said. No matter how crazy or less crazy. Colossus said "no" a lot, more than yes, and it started to bug him.

Wade glared at Colossus' beautiful ass and he smirked. "Aren't you getting tired of this routine, darling?" Wade asked.

"No."

Even now he said it, heh. Colossus was doing his workout routine. Wade had already complained that Colossus got up too early and went outside for his workouts too much. Now doing it inside (one of the very rare "alright"s), right next to where Wade was still lazing around in bed, it was better at least since Wade could admire his beautiful silver lover in awe.

While occasionally checking Colossus out, Wade was scrolling on his phone, watching useless reels, TikToks and YouTube videos until something came by that caught his attention.

"COUPLE TICKLE CHALLENGE LET'S GO!"

Soon, loud and hysterical laughter burst from his phone, and Wade chuckled at the enthusiasm the couple tickled each other. Now that looked fun, challenging, and so romantic.

"Hey big guy. You wanna do this challenge with me?" Wade turned his phone around to show him. Colossus couldn't see it, but he could definitely hear the loud laughter and begging from the video.

"No."

Figures. Wade wiggled his eyebrows. "Are you suuure? You don't wanna tie me up like this? Tickle me until I piss my pants?"

"No."

He was still working out. Wade shrugged. "Oh I see. Guess I'll have to tickle myself then," he said, and he put away his phone, pushed down the blankets and pulled up his shirt. He wiggled his fingers seductively all over his bare torso.

"Hmmmhmhm, it tickles so muuuch," he whined in a sexy voice. Was Colossus really going to be so boring?

"He he he, no, don't, stop, it tickles," Wade acted sarcastically as he tickled himself.

"Ohoho. Hahaha. Huhuhu." His fake laughter must have gotten annoying at some point because Colossus glared his way a few times.

"Ahaha I'm so ticklish. Colossus, you're missing all the fun hehehe, why don't you- WHOAH!" Wade yelped when Colossus suddenly approached him with quick and firm steps. Despite begging Colossus to tickle him just now, Wade's first reflex was to very quickly jump out of bed, but Colossus grabbed him and tossed him right back in.

"AHH HEhehey big guhuhuy wahaha!" Wade cackled when Colossus actually tickled him for real.

"You wanted this," Colossus said while he dug mercilessly in each of Wade's worst ever tickle spots. Wade kicked and howled.

"Nohoho! The chahaallenge! This ihihisn't- ahahaha wahahait!" He was being pathetic, he knew that. But after getting rejected all this time by his serious lover, Wade just didn't see this coming.

"PLEase! You hahave to tie mehehe up fihihirst!" Wade yelled as he flailed and kicked wildly. Colossus merely pinned him down, still with that serious expression on his beautiful shiny face.

"No."

Well, on second thought, he wasn't even tied up yet and it was already almost unbearable. Wade thought that maybe a tickle challenge wouldn't be his thing to win. Colossus and his damn cold fingers made Wade's skin tingle wherever they tickled; his stomach, his hips, his sides, his ribs, his fucking armpits.

"AHAHA! Ahahalright you win! I cahahan't breheheathe!"

Silence. Through teary eyes, Wade looked up at Colossus' firm expression, and he tried his hardest to communicate through his uncontrollable laughter.

"Dahaharling plehehease! S-stahahap!" he begged dramatically.

"No."

Eep! Stlil no?! Wade managed to turn himself on his stomach and tried to wriggle free, but he was no match for the heavy weight of Colossus the silver fuckboy.

"Mehehercy! I'll lehehet you work ohohout! Leheheave me! I'll stohohop botherihhing you!"

At this point, he was going to piss for real, and he wasn't so fond of that idea after all.

Both the merciless tickling and Wade's frantic struggling caused him to lose his shirt, and he whined and moaned as Colossus attacked him with merciless tickles. Ah, well. Even though he seemed strangely determined to tickle him to death now, at least he had his full attention.

Wade could only enjoy this fact and laugh until he thought he was going to faint. But before that happened, Colossus stopped, and to Wade's surprise, suddenly they were kissing. Ah. He loved the taste of those lips still....

"Colossus... do you love me?" Wade murmured after a few long kisses. Colossus hummed.

For a moment Wade dreaded another negative answer, but then he heard it:

"Yes."

Ah. Look, now that was all that mattered. Even if Colossus would say no to Disneyland, tickle challenges, adopting a dog or whatever silly date night suggestion, in the end he still loved Wade, and Wade loved him back and all of his 99% "no".

"Love you too, big guy."

If it was up to Wade, Colossus could tickle him to death for real now. He could now die in peace.

[rei-ismyname]

Wolverine: Revenge - why?

Wolverine: Revenge takes place in an AU (I assume) where Magneto died on Asteroid M (RIP king) through unknown means. Upon his death a global EMP was released, frying all technology. Asteroid M fell to Earth and took out Canada. The whole world is back to the Stone Age. Spoilers and gore ahead.

Except for one gonzo science reactor in Russia and the Helicarrier they're on.

Cap is absolutely right to be looking at Fury's proposal with a side eye, but I'm surprised he doesn't push further. For all the talk of 'saving lives' this plan implicitly privileges American lives over anyone else's. It's not some neutral power source they'd be taking, people are using it and they'd die if it's taken.

None of the strike force gives it much thought and they blunder into a trap, failing miserably. Colossus seems to agree with me and puts them to the question. Wolverine doesn't have a leg to stand on here - he was on a mission to steal their only means of survival. Team USA tacitly refuse to leave and Deadpool blows them up.

Wolverine obviously survives and it's this incident that drives his whole revenge quest. Huh? He sides with the remains of the US empire and tried to doom a continent to death. All's fair in the Apocalypse, I guess, but it's odd that revenge (for defending themselves, albeit with some cruelty) is at the top of his list. Colossus is his final target like a twisted Kill Bill. I thought Logan liked living in the woods.

For some reason...

We're up to part 3 of 4 and it's Jonathan Hickman writing it, but if there's a subversion coming it's going to feel weird as hell.

Unsurprisingly, Logan kills all the other guys (Deadpool's is particularly cruel) and tracks Piotr down, somehow. Seriously, Russia is massive and there's no technology. He is not to blame for Logan not having a home, and you'd expect him to say that, but he does not.

Piotr tells Logan to go home, but he's here for revenge. Well, he's here for violence.

Why'd he do what? Protect his home? Not meekly hand over the reactor to the strike force?

Somehow Logan wins (of course) despite losing an arm and it is fucking grisly.

Maybe that's the whole point, that revenge is ridiculous, and Logan will realise that in the final issue. Somehow I doubt it, but at least he's got nothing left now - having killed everyone he knew. Wait, Nick Fury is still alive. Maybe he can go kill him too. He definitely deserves it.

Forge and Dani Moonstar have a Cheyenne nation thing going on, maybe he'll butt in there again and threaten them. I am so tired of Wolverine stories like this. The art is beautiful and the script tight, except for the US exceptionalism presented uncritically (so far.) I do have faith in Hickman, though Marvel and the X-Desk I do not. What do you think?

[snikt-and-chimichangas]

🍂🎃 FALL & HALLOWEEN EXTRAVAGANZA! 🎃🍂

Hey hey, you lovely degenerates, it’s ya boi, Deadpool, sliding into your feed like a pumpkin spice latte on a crisp fall morning! (Don’t judge me, Wolverine drinks 'em too. We all know he's a sucker for anything cinnamon-flavored—keeps him warm and fuzzy inside.)

🍂 Soooo guess what? The server’s been cooking up some deliciously spooky fall-themed events, and trust me, you don’t wanna miss what’s creeping around the corner. We’ve already shared some of the tasty details (I know, I know, we're as fast as Quicksilver... wait, no, he's not ours either, ugh). But hold onto your butts, because we've got more goodies bubbling up in the cauldron! 🎃💀

You like trick-or-treating? We’ve got it.

You like creeping through dark, mysterious places like a true anti-hero, looking for trouble? We’ve got that too.

And maybe even a few haunted surprises... 💀👀

We might even force—I mean, politely ask, Wolvie to wear his tiny pumpkin costume again. (But seriously, no selfies this time, guys. The last batch got leaked and, well, let’s just say Wolvie wasn’t amused. He’ll claw ya.)

Want in on all the spooktacular action?👻 Well, here's the trick (or is it a treat?). Slide into our DMs and ask for an invite! We’ve opened up the gates for a hot minute so don’t be sneaky—grab your spot before the witches close the circle.

No broom required, just your charm and maybe a spooky gif or two.

Oh, and one more thing! If you’ve got questions, comments, or just wanna see what flavor of chaos we’re brewing up next, shoot us a message! We may be chaotic, but we’re also here to keep things running smoothly (at least as smoothly as a Deadpool-written announcement allows). We love to hear from ya—unless you’re trolling, in which case we’ll just make you fight Colossus. Good luck with that.

🧛‍♂️🍂 So strap in, buttercup, because it’s about to get wicked up in here!

_ Deadpool (with mandatory supervision of the Mod Team, because apparently, I can't be trusted to run things on my own.🙄)

[tinycoded360]

Sterling household--The Talk

Chapter 8: The talk

Milton's heart pounded nervously as he stood on Sterling's kitchen table, flanked by Cassia and Emma. Sterling loomed like a benign colossus, his presence still intimidating.

"Alright then," Milton began, his voice steadier than he felt, "let's talk about how we can make this work for all of us."

“Of course, but first, I have some things for you.” The tiny borrowers watched in confusion as Sterling turned to grab something from his counter.

The smell of freshly baked bread was distracting. Apparently, Sterling thought it was a good idea for them to snack and talk.

"Smells amazing, doesn't it?" Cassia whispered, her stomach betraying her with a tiny growl.

"Focus," Milton murmured, though even he couldn't deny the saliva pooling in his mouth at the thought of fresh bread. Granted, Cassia was perfectly able to make bread within the walls of their home, but it wasn’t the same as the fluffy bread that giants make.

Sterling chuckled, a deep sound vibrating through the air. "I hope you're hungry. There's plenty to go around." He set down a plate of freshly cut bread. Some slices had butter on them, and others did not. The bread was cut into tiny pieces so it would be easy for his tiny guests to handle.

Before Milton could make a move to sample the offering, Sterling spoke up again, his giant hand coming down close, startling the tiny man. “Wait one more thing, here take this, this is for you.” Pinched between the giant’s forefinger and thumb was a tiny tea cup—perfectly sized for the tiny borrowers. Milton stared in shock but reached for the cup. Sterling offered a cup to Cassia and Emma as well.

“These are for you, you can keep them, I bought them at a craft store, I thought they would be perfect for you. Oh! And these too.” Next Sterling handed each of them a tiny spoon, the spoon was close to their scale.

“This is amazing, Sterling. Thank you.” Cassia said.

“Why do you giants have tiny stuff like this? What’s the purpose?” Emma spoke up. She liked the tiny gift, but she couldn’t understand why a giant would sell and buy these things, if not for toys for their young, but these items seemed way to small for children’s toys.

“I don’t know……. I guess humans have always liked tiny things.” Sterling said with a shrug.

“But wait there’s more.” Sterling said with a grin. He brought over a pitcher of iced tea. He then took a pipette and suctioned some of the tea into it. He then held it over each of their tiny cups. He carefully served them some fresh tea.

Sterling sat down in his chair, holding a mug of his own; he took a sip of his tea and smiled down at them. “Ok, now we can start.”

Milton inched closer to the table's edge, his eyes locked on Sterling's face. "Sterling," Milton started, each word measured and deliberate, "We've come to appreciate... your kindness."

Sterling leaned in, careful not to make any sudden moves that might startle his tiny guests. "I'm glad to hear that, Milton. I've always enjoyed helping where possible, and I want you guys to stay."

Cassia, her hands clasped in front of her, added, "We can't ignore the risks, but we also see the benefits of living here, close to you." Her voice held a note of cautious optimism.

"Of course," Sterling nodded, "It's a delicate balance, isn't it?"

Emma glanced between Milton and Cassia before addressing Sterling with a hint of boldness. "It is. And we'll find a way to maintain that balance if you are."

Sterling's expression softened further, touched by the admission. " All of you were very kind to look after me when I was ill. I think we can be good neighbors or roommates or sorts, I’d be willing to work out an agreement of conduct.”

"An exchange," Milton proposed. "We help with small tasks, like pest control and small repairs to the house, and in return, we receive some food scraps and materials that would otherwise be wasted."

"Seems fair, but I think we can do better than that," Sterling agreed with a gentle smile. "I don’t want you guys to feel like you have to hide. I don’t see how that’s different than before?” “What, the only difference is I know you’re around?” Sterling asked with a frown.

“This is a lot for us. We’re not supposed to interact or talk to you like this.” Emma pointed out.

“I won’t push you past what you’re comfortable with, but I would want you all to be more comfortable, maybe interact more. I’d be willing to share more than just scraps.” Sterling pressed.

"Hmmm, okay, then. Look, Sterling," Emma piped up, barely containing the tremor in her voice as she glanced warily at the corner of the kitchen where Whiskers usually lounged. Currently, the cat was shut in Sterling’s room. "We need to talk about your cat, then."

Milton's eyes darted toward the ground, his body tensing at the mention of the feline predator. Cassia placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, her gaze fixed on Sterling.

Sterling sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I know Whiskers can be... problematic for you folks, but she's part of this household too. I can't just get rid of her."

"Perhaps we could arrange our borrowing times?" suggested Milton. "A schedule that lets us roam when she's confined to your room?"

"Or announce ourselves loudly," Cassia added with a hint of reluctance. "Though it feels like asking permission in our own home."

"Training her might be a safer bet," Sterling proposed, watching their reactions closely. "Properly introduce you to her, so she understands you’re family, not food. But of course, I’d be willing to set a schedule; we can write it out."

Cassia nodded slowly. " The schedule would be preferred, and I think we should do that first. But I’d be willing to try to be introduced to your—"

"No!" Milton interjected sharply. "I won't risk Cassia or the children. If we do that, I’ll do it first, just in case something goes wrong."

“Oh, I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise,” Sterling said as he leaned closer.

Sterling and Milton locked eyes, a silent battle of wills passing between them until Sterling finally chuckled. "I promise you won’t be hurt; I’ll be there every step of the way; it will be done under close supervision.”

"Good," Milton grumbled, not thrilled about this whole idea.

"Another thing," Cassia said before the mood could sour further. "Please, don't tell others about us. It's dangerous if more humans know."

"Of course," Sterling agreed solemnly. "Your secret's safe with me. And I'll give you a heads-up if I'm expecting company. You should have plenty of time to hide or return to your nest."

"Thank you," Cassia said, the relief evident in her tone. "It eases my mind knowing we won't stumble upon strangers."

"Before we continue further," Sterling said, shifting slightly, "I have another thing for you." He reached into a drawer and pulled out a small bundle wrapped in cloth. He unfolded it on the table with delicate care to reveal an assortment of miniature kitchenware.

Milton's eyes narrowed at the sight of the tiny pots and pans, more silverware, more teacups, plates, and plastic buckets—all perfectly borrower-sized. "We can't accept these; you’ve already given us a gift," he stated firmly, his pride as a provider prickling at the offer and the fact they didn’t get any gift for the giant.

Cassia's elbow nudged into his side subtly yet with intention. "Oh, they're wonderful," she exclaimed, her voice warm with genuine delight as she inspected the gifts. "We love them, don't we?"

"Of course," Milton conceded begrudgingly, though his gaze lingered on the items with a hint of appreciation. Sterling's lips curled into a pleased smile, his eyes brightening at Cassia's enthusiasm.

"Good, I'm glad," Sterling responded, watching them. "I hope they're... usable."

"Indeed," Cassia said, still admiring the craftsmanship.

After a moment of contemplative silence, Sterling's expression turned serious. "Listen, I've been meaning to ask—have you been cooking inside the walls? Using flame?" His tone was gentle, but concern etched his brow.

Cassia and Milton tensed simultaneously; the question felt like an intrusion, a spotlight on their hidden lives. "Yes, but we're always careful," Cassia assured quickly, her voice steady despite the sudden anxiety.

"Even so, I'd rather you didn't," Sterling insisted. "It's not just about being careful. Even tiny, controlled fires could lead to disaster."

"Disaster?" Milton scoffed. "We know what we're doing. It's not like we're reckless."

"Still," Sterling pressed, "what if there's another way? I could get you a miniature kitchen to set up here, on the counter. You could cook safely without worries."

"Out here?" Milton's voice rose incredulously. "You expect us to abandon the safety of the walls whenever hunger strikes?"

"Look, I—I thought it might be nice to share meals, but maybe that's too much," Sterling stuttered, his proposal hanging awkwardly in the air. "We can work out a schedule if that's better."

"Share meals?" Emma muttered under her breath, her skepticism evident even in hushed tones. "Like we wouldn't just take what we need anyway."

Sterling cleared his throat, undeterred. "I'll also leave a notepad out. If you need anything specific, just write it down, and I'll see what I can do."

"I’ll consider it. Could I pick the kitchen?” Cassia spoke up. She loved the idea of having something close to what humans got to enjoy.

“Of course!” Sterling said with a relieved smile.

“Okay, well, we can give it a try to see if that works,” Cassia declared, ignoring her husband's grumpy expression.

"Agreed," Sterling nodded. "You'll have free access to the kitchen. Anything you need."

"Generous offer," Cassia said with a small smile, glancing up at Sterling's towering figure. "Thank you, really."

"Of course," he replied, his voice softening. "Anything for my little housemates."

"Right," Sterling said, refocusing the group's attention. "One last rule I'd like to put in place. My bedroom and bathroom are off-limits. You'll just have to ask me if you need something from those rooms."

Milton nodded, his expression serious as he considered the giant human's request. "Understandable. Your privacy is important."

"Very well," Emma agreed, her eyes flickering to the other borrowers. "We'll respect your spaces. Let's sort out these schedules then."

"Great," Sterling replied, relieved. They discussed times and routines, ensuring their paths would cross safely and predictably.

Once they agreed on a schedule, Sterling reached into his pocket and pulled out a small object. "I've got one more thing for you. It's a smartphone—a basic one, but it should do the trick."

"A phone?" Milton's eyebrows shot up, incredulity etched across his face.

"Yes," Sterling beamed, placing it gently on the table before them. "It's pre-paid. You can call or text me if there's an emergency or even if you just need to ask about something."

Cassia leaned forward, her eyes wide as she examined the device. "This... this is too much, Sterling. We can't accept—"

"Please," Sterling interjected, pressing his palm against his chest. "It would give me peace of mind knowing you could reach out if needed."

"Thank you," Milton said gruffly, clearly moved despite his reservations. He was thinking about how they’d have to give something to Sterling in return; the giant human had already given them too many gifts. He could not stand to be outdone in this way.

Sterling picked up the phone and showed how to use it. "Here's how you turn it on, and here's how you make a call. I've saved my number under 'Giant'—it seemed fitting."

A chuckle escaped Cassia's lips, and even Emma allowed herself a small grin at the nickname.

"Let's test it," Sterling suggested. He dialed his own number from the phone and let it ring. His pocket buzzed, and he showed them the incoming call. "See? That's you calling."

"Technology," Milton muttered, still eyeing the phone with a mix of suspicion and fascination. Their most common technology was wiring and lights in their tunnels.

"Can we send messages, too?" Cassia asked, her curiosity overriding her initial hesitation.

"Absolutely," Sterling confirmed. "I'll leave it here by the notepad—you can grab it whenever you're ready to take it back to your nest."

"Stellar," Emma said, and though the word was flippant, her tone carried genuine appreciation.

"Thank you, Sterling," Cassia said again, her voice warm. " Although, Sterling, there's one more thing," Cassia interjected, "I want you to properly meet our children."

"Of course!" Sterling’s voice boomed enthusiastically, a giant grin spreading across his face. His eyes sparkled at the prospect of meeting the little ones he’d only glimpsed during hurried rescues from mischievous escapades.

"Come on up, loves!" Cassia called out. Four tiny figures emerged from the shadowy crevice in the wall, cautiously approaching the table. Agnes, her hair tied back in a practical braid, climbed the dangling rope with ease of experience, her little brother Finn clinging to her back, his eyes wide with wonder and trepidation. Pippin and Lila followed their big sister.

Sterling watched, spellbound by their miniature bravery, resisting every paternal instinct to scoop his hands underneath them for safety. Instead, he remained still, but his body was ready to lunge forward to catch them if they slipped.

"Hello, Mr. Silversmith," Agnes greeted, her voice steady despite the rapid thumping of her heart.

"Hi!" chirped Finn, his small fingers tightening around his sister's shoulders.

"Please, call me Sterling," he replied gently, careful not to startle them with the volume of his voice. "And who might this brave knight be?" he nodded towards Finn. He’d only seen the tiny boy once after rescuing him from his cat.

"I'm Finn!" the boy announced proudly, puffing out his chest as much as his piggyback position would allow.

"Nice to meet you, Finn. And Agnes, it's a pleasure to see you again."

Agnes nodded, her cheeks flushing with bashfulness.

"Can I have some bread?" Finn asked, his gaze darting to the plate of food.

"Of course," Sterling chuckled.

"Yeah!" Finn exclaimed, sliding down from Agnes's back to enjoy the warm food. Milton moved to help his youngest with his serving.

Sterling's eyes then landed on the other two children.

Cassia stepped forward. “This is Pippin, and this is Lila.”

“Hello there, it’s very nice to meet you?” Sterling smiled at the two tiny children.

Pippin shuffled his feet. “It’s nice to meet you too; thank you for letting me go last time.”

“Of course, little one. Here, go help yourself to the bread,” Sterling replied. He could tell the tiny children were still nervous around him, and he hoped his offering would put them at ease.

Sterling watched in fascination as the tiny girl, Lila, approached his hand. She placed her tiny hand on his finger. To his surprise and delight, the tiny girl started to climb into his hand. She stood on the back of his hand. Balancing and giggling as she went. Sterling held perfectly still, not wanting to knock the tiny girl down. He could feel her tiny feet padding softly against his skin.

"Are we like mice to you?" Lila asked, her voice teeming with curiosity.

"A bit," Sterling acknowledged with a teasing grin, "But much cleverer and certainly more talkative."

"Can I climb up your arm?" Lila inquired, peeking up through long lashes, her adventurous spirit shining through.

"Maybe," Sterling hedged, shooting a quick glance at their parents. "With your parents' permission, of course." He was surprised at how quickly this little one was warming up to him.

"Let's stick to the table for now," Milton interjected. It didn’t sit right with him to see his youngest daughter using the human as a jungle gym. She shouldn’t be this at ease with him.

Lila pouted but listened to her father. She hopped down from the giant hand and ran over to her father, asking for some yummy bread.

After the borrowers had their fill of bread and the adults had hashed out their agreements, they said their goodbyes, packed their gifts into their packs and headed back inside the walls. Sterling leaned down, handing them their new phone to take back with them. Sterling was amused that it took all three tiny adults to drag the electronics back with them. 

Author Note: Below is an example of some of the gifts Sterling gave them. The figure is just a reference model for size comparison. 

Chapter 9

[notfernintheslighest]

Obligatory TW for discussions of racism in media

Did anyone else notice that Deadpool 3 had way fewer characters of color? I really loved the movie and all but it felt like there was none of the characters I went to watch a Deadpool movie for. Like why is Dopinder replaced with that white man? Dopinder is one of my favorites and he’s just gone, same with Colossus. They literally replaced Dopinder with Peter, which was the joke they were making in the last movie, until they killed Peter almost immediately. Dopinder literally had a whole arc going. Where is his slow descent into madness? Like none of the main characters were people of color in this movie and the side characters were also a lot of whiter. Why doesn’t Domino make another appearance, or Firefist… Wade literally sacrificed himself to save that kid and he’s gone? Didn’t we spend a whole movie caring about them? Like Blind Al’s screen time even felt cut but maybe I'm reaching. I get that they’re not in Wade’s universe anymore but only like Blade is "new" and POC, which is typical of Disney, but not of Deadpool. He also didn’t seem to have as much screen-time as everyone else. There’s also a lot fewer references to African American culture, if memory serves. Maybe I’m delusional, but like even in the references and music it seemed to PALE in comparison to previous movies. I mean I guess Disney will be Disney, white right? I’m not excited to see how the mutants will be handled by them. Especially since the Doom casting, but playing a character outside his race isn’t new for RDJ, some could even argue that it isn’t even Tropic and that he’ll bring the Thunder.

I have only really seen one person, Nikhil Clayton on tiktok, talk about this and that was only about the lack of Dopinder to make room for White Dopinder Peter. This combined with canceling Donald Glover’s Deadpool series allegedly for being too black and making fun of Taylor Swift is not a great look.

Considering what Blake Lively has been exposed for + Ryan by extension (he’s heavily involved in the This Ends With Us debacle.) I wonder how Taylor Swift found out about the episode since allegedly it was her getting upset that “broke the camel’s back.” Shows typically don’t reach out and ask celebs who are mentioned, this is entirely speculative, but I wonder if her friend, Blake Lively, found out through her husband and somehow that information made it back to Swift. I remember Donald mentioning they had to lowkey force Ryan out of the writers room (which would be on track with his wife and his behavior on the set of This Ends With Us) but maybe I misunderstood. I don’t know for sure what all is going on, and the general public may never know, but I do know that something about this seems wrong. I hope I'm just overthinking all this, but the friends I’ve talked to have all agreed.