#I literally think I have a sleep disorder because it's always been like this

[hellolulu]

I am so TIRED

[ohnopeh]

do you ever think about mandy telling ian that being with caleb was an upgrade from mickey?

i think about the look on his face and the hesitation in speaking to mandy about it. to me it’s like ian was disappointed in knowing mandy would still look down on mickey, especially considering she was there witnessing him taking care of ian and his disorder. i love that ian says i miss mickey despite him telling svetlana he’s ’done with that part of his life’ and hurting mickey in the prison scene.

i feel like that’s the moment ian’s mask slips away and he wants to be honest with mandy for a second, allowing himself to acknowledge that he does miss mickey but he broke up with him because he loves him too much.

this is why he quickly adds the ‘but’ trying to convince himself that what he has now it’s okay, he can move on. adding the bit about him surely breaking up with caleb because of him being bipolar says a lot about them too. cause ian expects caleb to leave him and he’s ‘okay’ with it. what ian knew back then too was that mickey wouldn’t have left ian, ever. he didn’t want mickey to suffer and put him through all that— after being with his mother and having to live with her and her boyfriend in their miserable state. he realised what he would have put mickey through and did what he considered the best thing for him.

he kept himself busy, building his life away from him, getting into relationships and pretending that was what he truly wanted, but then he hears about mickey being back and suddenly everything comes crashing down. all of his intense feelings, what made him feel alive, those are back.

ian not being able to sleep at night cause he kept thinking about mickey shows why he would protect himself by pretending he doesn’t care

when he meets mickey for the first time after jail, he goes straight to him to ‘fight’ and it feels like ian has never been more alive than that time. i don’t see him pretending or trying to fit into what he is not ( which is what i think he did with his other relationships as they kept judging ian for one thing or another )

when he talks to fiona at night he tells her he can’t get him out of his head, he finally admits that he’s always thought of mickey and finally seeing him led to him spiralling and all of his self control going to shit. trying to control himself not to give in, cause he’s done that so well by having mickey away from him, out of reach but he’s there now and he can’t help it.

he literally saw mickey a couple of hours before saying that and they were together for like, 5 minutes? yet that was enough for ian to feel that thrill that he tried so hard to forget and convince himself he could live without.

i love that he runs away with mickey, i love that mickey tells him ian was the only one that had his back and that not even his family did half of the shit ian did for him. how ian admits he didn’t visit because it was hard to see him through the glass, cause fuck how can he keep himself stable if everything he wants and makes him happy is so close but so far away? and then ian admitting he thought of mickey a lot, finally being honest about that.

i completely get ian not going to mexico with mickey back then, that would have been a shit show for both but i also love the fact that ian wanted to be there so that he could see with his own eyes that mickey was finally safe and once again free (in some extent).

him telling lip about running away, asking if he should have gone with mickey. like he knows he wanted to do that, he forced himself to walk away but the moment he thought lip considered them running away together a good idea, he felt hopeful and regretful cause he wanted someone else to confirm he’s not losing control but that it was ok to do, the right thing.

but monica dies right there and i can’t imagine ian being in mexico finding out about it and being so far away, not being able to go back. i feel like mickey would have blamed himself so much for that too.

things go to shit from there on and i know it’s both because of monica dying and mickey leaving. he doesn’t have the time to control himself, to shut his feelings off and put mickey in the back of his mind locked away like before. everything comes crushing down and then trevor isn’t supportive, blames him for things and gets angry at him for the whole gay jesus thing (like hello, he’s having a bipolar episode? )

i’m sure ian just couldn’t stop himself comparing the way mickey treated him, loved him and cared for him during his ups and downs— to how trevor dealt with it all. he keeps going down cause nothing makes sense anymore.

then he goes to prison, everything still sucks and it worse because he’s still recovering, still vulnerable and has to spend years in a place that’s not safe, not familiar to him. but he sees him, he sees mickey and it’s like he can breathe for the first time. he’s finally safe and he’s loved

[hurts2think]

Hey! I love your Red x reader one shots and I have such a huge crush on Kylie rn.

I was wondering if you can do an imagine where fem!reader is going through something (you can make it up) and she’s not eating or sleeping and she thinks no one notices but Red does and she comforts reader?

You don’t need to if you aren’t comfortable w it tho!

♥️Red Hearts x Reader♥️

Reader pronouns: She/her

Pairing: Red Hearts x Fem!Reader

Plot: Reader has been dealing with a lot and falling behind on many basic necessities like eating and sleeping. She hopes her girlfriend doesn't realize, but it gets to the point where it's impossible to avoid the conversation.

Word count: 2.1k

Extra: I want to put a CW for Eating disorders. I never use that term in the fic and the fic has nothing to do with weight or body issues, just depression. I wrote this from my own experiences so it's not like I'm writing about something I'm ignorant on. There was a lot of projection in this but I tried my best to keep it tame. Please don't read this if you're sensitive to depression or disorderly eating habits. 🫶 This is also a vulnerable thing for me to write about so please be kind.

Studying for things like quizzes and exams was never something that came very naturally to you. You always found yourself very distracted and never to stay on one topic at the same time. So you thought, maybe having someone to study with you could help keep you on track and actually get some work done.Unfortunately, you picked the wrong person to study with.

You felt that the obvious choice was your girlfriend, Red. But unsurprisingly, she's not the most efficient studier either. Really she only accepted your invite as an excuse to hangout with you, you could tell by the way she kept trying to start unrelated conversations, and the way she'd slouch and groan everytime she had to write something down instead of listen to you talk.

"Okay, we've been working for literal hours. Let's go get something to eat, I'm starving." She complained, leaning back in her chair and tilting her head back, "There's a new café down town not very far."

You close your notebook and sigh, “If you’re hungry just run down to the dorm kitchen and garb something.” You say, looking at your bored to death girlfriend.

She lifts her head and gives you an annoyed look, “Oh come on. Are you seriously not hungry? Let’s just go out. We haven’t gone out in forever." She groaned.

Red leaned closer to you, grabbing your hand as if trying to convince you that a date in the middle of your study session was a good idea.

How could you refuse that? The flirtatious smirk she gave you was almost enough to make your heart explode, you really couldn't say no, "Fine." You sigh with a small smile.

With a hop out of her chair, Red grins, "Great. And I hope you have money because I lost my wallet." She winked, clearly that was untrue.

You chuckle, "Hmm. Interesting you always lose your wallet right before we go out," you chuckle. You didn't actually mind paying for her, it was actually something you loved. You loved spending all your time and money on your wonderful girlfriend.

----

The two of you walk to this café that Red was talking about. You weren't really hungry at all. Actually, you haven't been very hungry in awhile. Your relationship with food had become a little weird recently.

Not for any reason someone might assume. It's not like you were trying to lose weight or anything, you just hadn't felt the means to eat. You never spoke about it and mostly often lied about when you ate so that you didn't worry your girlfriend, but it was getting harder to hide it because of the physical effects it was having on you.

The two of you sat across from each other at a little circle table. The café had a couple other people in there, mostly working on their laptops or reading. It was a cute café, very calming and sweet smelling.

"So, what're you feeling today? Coffee? Pastries? You liked those weird fruit pastry things last time, they might have something like that here," Red said, gazing at the menu that sat on the wall above the workers.

You pull out your own laptop and a notebook because you still planned on getting at least some work done while you were here, "Oh. No thanks. Get what you want, I'm not hungry." You open your laptop before pulling out your wallet and tossing it to Red.

Red caught the wallet before giving you a weird look. She leaned over and shut your laptop, forcing you to look her in the eyes, "I've been with you all day and you didn't even eat the cookies I brought. How are you not hungry?"

You just shrugged awkwardly, "I ate before you came over," you lie. You hated lying, especially to your girlfriend. It made you feel so guilty and sick. Or maybe you felt sick from your horrible eating habits.

"Bullshit." Red said plainly, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair.

"Excuse me?" You ask, a little astonished at how quick she was to accuse you of lying.

Red glares, "You've been weird recently. You've been insanely tired, skipping lunch while claiming you'll eat after school, everytime you stand up you get concerningly dizzy, what's up with you?" She asked. Obviously she was worried but her words came off as stern so that you had no room for lying to her.

You shift uncomfortably in your seat, looking away from her. "It's nothing, really, just order something. Don't worry about it." You attempt to brush it off but you have a feeling she wouldn't let it go so easily.

"You know, I'm not stupid, just admit you're having an issue and I can help. Let me help you." Red insisted, reaching over and grabbing your hands from across the table.

She was clearly worried and only wanted to help you, which is why you felt bad at your growing irritation of the subject, “Can’t you just leave it alone? I really don't feel like talking about it.” You pull your hands away and cross your arms.

Red resisted the urge to role her eyes at your refusal to talk, but she tried not to argue, “Just— just please tell me what’s wrong?” She tried making her voice sound sympathetic and you could tell she was really struggling. She was never very good with talking about feelings despite how much she cares.

"Just drop it. I don't want to talk about it so I won't. I don't have to tell you everything. it's not even important." You snap, before immediately going quiet. You didn't mean to get angry, really, you didn't. You weren't even angry at her. Just... Frustrated.

Red looked as if she wanted to argue back, you could see in her face that she was not happy, "Fine. Whatever."

The way she spoke that made your heart ache. You felt stupid for snapping like that when she was just trying to make sure you were okay.

----

The two of you pretty much sat in silence the rest of the time at the café before she decided to go back to her own dorm instead of finishing with the studying.

You still felt awful and could tell Red was still upset. But you just kissed her goodbye and went back to your dorm.

The whole encounter made you feel like abandoning your work and just sleeping for the rest of the day. You really were tired. You've been so tired all of the time.

So tired and depressed. All you do when you get to your dorm and sit there with your own filthy sadness. Thank goodness no one shares a dorm with you or they'd probably be annoyed by how much you drag yourself around and sulk.

Usually when at school you put a smile on and get all happy with everyone else but that's been especially hard recently. The only thing you can really ever feel like doing is sitting in bed and staring at the ceiling. Stare and let your head be flooded with the un-happy thoughts that plagued you.

You felt guilty for being so depressed. You had great friends, you went to a great school, and had an even greater girlfriend, how could you still be sad?

While you thought about all of this you started to drift off into sleep. It was still early in the day but you couldn't stop yourself from it.

----

You were suddenly awakened by the sound of a hard knock on your door. You sat up and got out of bed, unaware of what time of day it even was. It felt like your room was spinning.

Your head was light, your vision was blurry, your stomach felt like it was rising to your throat and you were about to puke it up but couldn't.

You stumbled towards the door and leaned on it for a moment to try and regain yourself but you couldn't. There was another knock on the door and the vibration of it ran through you, making you feel even sicker.

Finally you opened the door to see Red. Well, kind of see her, your vision kept focusing and unfocusing, but it was enough to recognize her.

Before she could even say anything, you felt your entire body about to collapse. Red was quick to swoop in and catch you before you hit the ground.

"Oh my gosh are you okay? What happened?" She started asking you a hundred questions at once but you could hardly bring yourself to answer.

Clearly she was panicking but once she realized all you could do was mumble out responses, she picked you up, holding you bridal style and carrying you over to your bed. She laid you down and gave you a moment to regain yourself.

"Wait, here, I might have something that can help." She said, digging through her bag and pulling out a water bottle and bag of chips.

It was hard to think at the moment or even say anything but you could feel the guilt rushing back to you. Feeling like you were a horrible girlfriend for making the person you care about most worry so much.

She opened the bag of chips and water bottle, shoving them in your hands. Just the idea of eating thing made you want to vomit but you had a feeling there was no getting out of this.

So you took small bites and small sips of water. Your hands were shaking as you held them, feeling like everything weighed ten pounds heavier.

After what took a little too long, you finished the bag of chips and the whole water bottle. You could feel yourself feeling a little better, obviously it didn't immediately fix all of your problems, but just having something in your body made you feel at least functional enough to stand up and have a conversation.

But when you tried standing, Red just shoved you back onto the bed.

"You need to stay there and rest." She demanded, "Now... Can you please tell me what's wrong?" This time her voice was filled with genuine worry and sympathy.

You look down at your hands, unable to look her in the eyes. You suddenly felt your own eyes fill with tears, as if it was all about to coming pouring out at once, "I just... I dunno... I haven't been doing well recently..." You start off, choking on your words a little bit.

"I haven't been able to sleep or eat well, I haven't been able to get out of bed other than for school, and everything is just so heavy," you say, trying your hardest to prevent the tears from spilling out.

Red gives you a worried look. She decides to carefully get in the bed with you, sitting next to you and wrapping her arms around you, "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Because I didn't want to bother you." You reply, slowly resting your head on her shoulder.

"Bother me?" She says, looking almost confused, "Your issues aren't bothersome. I just want to make sure you're okay and I want to help you every way I can."

"I know..." You mutter, still feeling guilty. "I'm sorry."

"Hey! You don't have to apologize." She says, narrowing her eyes, "It's not your fault you feel this way. But I am here to help you. I can help if you'll let me."

You finally look her in the eyes, gently grabbing her hand, "Thank you."

"Of course. I always love to help my beautiful girlfriend. I'll help you stay on top of your sleeping schedule, I'll force your to eat breakfast and lunch at school, I'll come over for dinner..." she smiles, leaning over and placing a soft kiss on your lips.

You can't help but smile as she kisses you, once she tries to pull away you bring her back for just a second longer in the kiss. Then you finally let go, "I'm serious. Thank you. You're so... Amazing. I love you so much... I'm sorry it's hard for me to talk about my problems. I trust you... I just hate seeing you worry."

Red rubs your shoulder in comfort, "Me worrying just means I care. And you're lucky. I don't care about very many people," she teasingly nudges you, "But, I'm you're girlfriend. It's kind of my job to make sure you're okay. It's the least I can do after all of the amazing things you've done for me." She smiles, "I love you too..."

The sweet words made your heart melt. Your face heated up slightly at the affection. Sometimes it was hard for Red to be affectionate but you could tell she loved it, so this really was a treat.

You couldn't believe you had such a perfect girlfriend. The very thought of her made you feel a little better no matter what. You really were lucky to have someone like her.

[urperfectcinnamonroll07]

Hi, are your requests open? If not, ignore this please, but I would really, really like a chishiya x reader fluff where readers love language is "nah I'll do it for you" but not like grand gestures, just random things. Kinda like the peeling an orange thing, or going downstairs to get a snack or running a bath after a hard day. But like, it goes both ways, reader doing stuff for chishiya and vice versa. Also, could it be post borderlands where they remember everything? Feel free to change anything or don't do it at all, I wouldn't mind. Also, I haven't ever actually requested with my real username, so I don't know if it would notify me if you post with this, but can you @ me? Bye and I really enjoy your writing!!!

I'll Do It!

requested?: yes pairing(s): shuntarō chishiya x gn!reader genre: fluff, angst if you squint warning(s): mentions of nightmares, fluff, mentions of sleeping pills, mentions of very poor mental health, chishiya being sweet towards reader (shock horror gasp), mentions of trouble sleeping, mentions of eating disorder summary: 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘺𝘢, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘺𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 word count: 1k a/n: ofc you can! my requests are practically always open and i do try my hardest to get through them, so sorry if this is late lol. also, think this is so cute and you have a great idea. just to add, can somone request something for bang chan please lmao, i wanna write for him but all my ideas are literally gone lmao. make sure to eat and drink something, love yas, mwah! (P.s so sorry this took a while, ive been busy recently lol) tags: @ultimate-duck-king-lucifer

you and chishiya did absolutely everything for eachother. you both remembered the borderlands, which was a downside for the both of you, but you did both get over it. when chishiya went back to work, a lot changed.

it was almost as though he was never around, and he either worked so late that you were already asleep, or he would just crash when he got home. but of course, on the rare occasions he was working from home, you would bring him snacks and keep him company while he did so.

you had am office in your house that you had both decorated with comfy sofas, so you would sit and scroll through your phone while he worked, occasionally getting up to get a snack or a drink and bringing something back for him. you would also stand behind him sometimes and ask what he was doing, resulting in you being confused with the big fancy doctor words your boyfriend used in order to explain, so you ended up just sitting back down and pretending to understand (which he knew you wouldn't, and just chuckled anyways).

of course, you worked aswell, which also resulted in chishiya doing things for you. your work was mainly based at home, but you would have to go out and about to the office and do stuff sometimes. if it was a particularly stressful day, chishiya would run you a bath for after you finished work, and if you were working in the seperate office you had in your home, he would peep his head around the door and ask if you needed anything. if chishiya knew that you hadn't eaten anything yet, and you had said no to him asking if you needed anything, he would go get you a snack nontheless.

even though you both led very busy lives with your work, you also made time to cuddle in bed on a night, which took chishiya a while to get used to, but it was definately worth it.

there also lead to a problem with sleeping. sometimes one of you would have a nightmare and unintentionally wake the other, resulting in the other holding the other in their arms while the other calmed down and went back to sleep. more times than others, chishiya wouldn't wake you up when he had a nightmare, because he was a silent sleeper. but you, however, did wake him up since you were a quiet sleeper, but a one that moved around quite a lot. so you thrashed around quite a lot, with the occasional mutter of "no" or sometimes even you screamed.

the first time this did happen, however, chishiya thought there was an intruder, so he ultimately went into panic mode aswell, jumping awake and turning the light on, before realising it was just a nightmare you were having. he managed to wake you up as softly as he could, holding you in his arms as he whispered to you that everything would just about be alright. you believed him, well, almost.

the time he woke you up, he was just flinching and twitching in his sleep, and you woke him up. chishiya being chishiya, though, pretended nothing was wrong, but didn't say no to you holding him until he wemt back to sleep.

you almost believed that everything would be alright, because when your mental health started to slowly get worse, so did the nightmares. chishiya did notice you slowly started to eat less, and also sleep less, but he thought you would manage to get yourself back up on your feet. only when you started to get a lot worse, did he start to intervene.

it started off slow, just small snacks, before it turned into small meals, then bigger meals, then you were eating properly again. but that didn't change your sleeping. even though your eating patterns were improving, your nightmares were still getting worse.

almost every night you woke up screaming and crying, but even the nights you didn't, you would still be up throughout the night. chishiya was starting to get worried, even though he didn't show it that much, he worried.

after a while, you got a cat, aswell as sleeping pills perscribed from your doctor boyfriend himself. he thought the cat would help with anxiety, and the pills with sleeping. and they did, for a while at least. as much as chishiya loved you, he couldn't keep waking up due to your screams and nightmares.

the pills worked for around a month, before you started to get worse again. the pills weren't working as much as they used to and you were waking up a lot more. you had both tried everything, from pills to pillow mist, nothing was working.

your cat, did hep with bits of anxiety when you had the occasional anxiety or panic attack. but other than that, you were practically on your own. chishiya did help, but he wasn't there all the time. he did advise you to go get therapy, but even if you did, nobody would believe you other than the man l who suggested it himself.

at this point, you were barely sleeping. you would try not to wake chishiya, but whenever you were awake, so was he. it was almost as though he just knew you would be awake.

this one particular night, you had a worse nightmare, you were thrashing around all night and chishiya was awake. it was only when the screams started that he woke you up, you were hitting his chest in protest until you realised it was him.

"sh, sh, sh" he says, bringing your sobbing frame into his arms, your face soaking his night shirt with your tears. "you're okay, i'm here, everything is okay" he whispers, stroking your hair and leaving soft kisses on the crown of your head.

your sobs eventually died down, and chishiya just about thought you were asleep until you whispered.

"i'm sorry" you whispered into his chest.

"what for?" he says, cupping your cheeks in his hands and making you move your head so you were looking at him.

"keeping you awake every night" you whisper back.

"honey, it's fine, as long as you're okay" he says, bringing you back into his chest.

"i love you" you mutter, and you just about hear him say it back before sleep overcame you.

[rubra-wav]

Various Adam headcanons

A/N I'm not an Adam simp, I just have been thinking abt him since the last post I did.

A lot of these are just things I feel in vibes and are completely baseless haha.

Cw: SFW, angsty in parts, misogyny, slight reference to disordered eating, uhhh idk man it's mixed

He's very messy and his house is like a bombsite of unwashed dishes and laundry.

Think messy roommate horror stories: that's him, and he doesn't give a single damn about it. Thinks he shouldn't have to clean up his house because that's a 'chick thing'

He's naturally really warm and overheats a lot because of it. Due to this, he has his house cold so he isn't sweating his ass off at all times.

He's really good to sleep next to during cold weather, but is God awful during hot weather.

Will not stop bitching about it being too hot when he's slightly uncomfortable and laughs at people who are easily cold, calling them weak.

His favourite things to watch are shitty b grade movies - especially comedy ones.

Prides himself on knowing current lingo, memes, and jokes (and actually pulls off not sounding like an old person trying to be 'hip with the kids' and cringey)

Follow up: makes deez nuts and ligma jokes out of everything and finds it hilarious. Sera sent him out of a meeting for doing this to Emily one time.

He's the type of mf who is pretentious asf about beer being superior and believes any guy who likes sweeter drinks / doesn't like beer are pussies.

He secretly doesn't believe this in the slightest and actually hates beer, he'd never admit it though. He has a sweet tooth and actually really likes drinks like Baileys.

Constantly talking, even if it's just to himself.

He likes AC/DC a lot. Ironically, 'highway to hell' is one of his favourite songs of all time.

He always wears his mask because he feels more vulnerable without it.

If you're close with him, he'd likely feel more comfortable to take it off around you - would fight to keep it on at all times if he doesn't trust you or feel safe with you.

I headcanon he put on weight after getting to heaven because after he was kicked out of Eden he didn't have nearly as much food, so he began binging when he finally had it again. It kind of just stayed a comfort for him.

He's really insecure about his weight gain too. If you point it out he's gonna get really upset. (Like how Lucifer does in ep 8)

Follow up: he literally always has snacks and is an absolute bitch about sharing them. If he does share them with you, he expects you to be really grateful.

His masculinity is fragile as it gets.

Would physically wilt if you even slightly imply he's not masculine and then become extremely angry and try to prove he actually is.

The main reason he is misogynistic is due to his experience with Lilith.

Before Lilith ran away from him, I think that Adam actually had extremely high respect for women.

His whole purpose was to reproduce. Women do a hell of a lot more then men during the whole process of reproduction and dude worships pussy even now (he named his best soldier after it. Not after dick, vag)

I imagine that it was a much larger appreciation for women in general before Lilith screwed him over.

This soured into misogyny, though, after she ran away and likely grew much, much worse with Eve due to her actually being made from him.

Eve then proceeded to eat the apple given to her and resulted in them being kicked out of Eden, which made it even worse.

He's the definition of that one reddit incel who had bad experiences with a handful of women and now is an absolute misogynistic cunt lmao

Hella abandonment issues.

Also hella jealousy issues.

Doesn't matter if you're a friend or a partner, he's going to be grappling to be number one and the only one in your life.

He's not manipulative or slick about it even a little though, it's obvious as it gets. Will vy for your attention by being literally as obnoxious as possible constantly.

Literally so clingy.

If you ever point it out, he'll deny it though and get very flustered.

Bro needs reassurance so bad you aren't gonna leave him if you're his partner.

Will sometimes just get really quiet and ask if he did something if he even slightly senses a tone shift to negativity.

Pretends it never happened afterwards and will downplay his fears massively if you call him out on it.

He's the type of sleeper who moves around a lot and ends up upside down somehow. Also a sleep talker.

Is the type of mf who has the skill to transcribe songs into guitar simply by ear.

He never shuts up about it, so although it is actually a really incredible skill, you want to not praise it because of how annoying he is over it.

Follow up: can play most types of guitar.

One of those extremely annoying rock fans who scoff when you put on anything but rock.

Also acts like he knows more about rock than anybody.

If you put on country music around him, he will forcefully grab the aux from you to turn it off.

He knows he actually isn't very smart at all and is super insecure about it.

He's had it used against him time and time again by people like Lilith and overcompensates to deter this by acting like he is actually the smartest person at all times.

When someone treats him like he's stupid, especially about something he actually knows/is knowledgeable about, he's extremely defensive about it (like when Lute points out the shield to him in ep 8)

Would be the type to go "Mansplaining means 'man explaining things'" to you with complete lack of self-awareness.

I need to draw Sera looking absolutely horrified as he screams the lyrics to highway to hell so bad.

Got possessed with the energy I had to suddenly write this omg.

[marvelousbuckley]

Love letters anyone?

It's been a while since I've written pretty much anything and I'm so sorry about it. I've had some great times (like the paralympics, a new cat, great restaurants with my friends, starting work again) as well as not so many great times (tiredness, RSD, the cats fighting, dysphoria, bipolar disorder making me depressive lmao)

But! Today on the bus I wrote a new letter! There is still prompts I need to write about but this one was on my mind. The game is simple, you can send me a word and I'll use it as an inspiration for a love letter from Tommy to Buck!

You can find the new letter on AO3 or after this ❤️

Disclaimer, Tommy is horny lmao

-----

My sexy as hell boyfriend,

The sounds you made last night still resonate on my mind. They are haunting me, not leaving a single space for any other thought. I am literally incapable to concentrate on anything but the memory of your moans on the silence of your loft. It makes me stupid really.

We waited and I am happy that we did. But I can be honest with you now: sleeping next to you, seeing your beautiful body, being able to touch and kiss it, all of that while restraining myself to fuck you properly has been hell. You have been my personal little hell since we met. Do you know how hot you are? Making me burn with each word, each smile, each whisper. Flames destroying not only my mind and my heart, but my guts too.

Of course you know, the size of your jeans are really telling, Evan. I ask myself sometimes if you do it to make me weak, to make my mind shut down.

Do you want me to die of lust?

Do you have any idea what effect you have on me?

Do you find it funny to make me horny in public space?

Today I asked to stay on the ground. I cannot imagine being up there, not when I already touched the clouds with you. I always loved flying you know. And as much as I also loved sex, the sky has always been my favorite place on earth.

But now I'm here, thinking about you. About being in your arms, both naked, on a bed. No matter which bed, which home, which lifetime. As long as I'm with you.

This shift might be the hardest of my life sweetheart. Because you are everywhere I look, and nowhere I can touch. And only remains the absence of your warmth around my cock and the want. This voracious want.

I'm on my bunk bed, writing on my phone while all the others are sleeping. I'm pretty sure I'm blushing in the dark, nervous they would wake up and find me in a compromising state. I feel so dumb you know, like some horny teenager. It's the first time I actually write the word cock on a letter. Because yes, I will rewrite all of this on paper when I'll get the chance to. But I couldn't wait, couldn't risk losing this thing you make me feel.

I couldn't risk not to remember everything I'm thinking right now. Because you need to know, Evan, how you make me alive again.

Thinking about my mouth on your mouth,

Tommy

Tagging the friends ❤️

@searching-for-the-moon @herrmannhalsteadproduction @johanna-swann @captainwitharedstar

@goldenhxurs @girlwonder-writes @desert--moonchild @kinardsevan

@kinkley-are-adorkable-flirts @bangpop91 @v88sy @theotherbuckley

@rdng1230 @thatmexisaurusrex @judymarch15 @leandra-winchester

[lesbians4armand]

on the technical side of things, maybe armand is intersex. he was often described as being beautiful like a girl! he couldve been born with a boys body but as he got older and hit puberty, perhaps he had a hormone disorder he didn't know about/coupled with sexual trauma/being turned he never really got to go through a full hrt puberty.

i know armand slept with numerous vampires in his coven, but he DOES have a tendency to not fuck human beings. maybe vampires CAN get pregnant, but they need a living counter part to make it work. immortal children are banned under vampire law, so i can see why female vampires aren't having children of their own (for fear of their child/them dying/the child being unable to progress physically or mentally) but wouldn't it just be like armand to be pregnant and not know until it's too late to do anything with?

or he gets pregnant and daniels the first to recognize the symptoms? the eating, the mood swings, how feral he's gotten during sex. i assume it would be jarring to wake up and find your vampire boyfriend projectile vomiting the 70 units of blood he gorged on 3 hours prior.

INTERSEX ARMAND!! YES!! The vampires of the vampire chronicles have always defied gender in its social ways but to have it completely blur binaries of biological sex is so so good, they already have so many differences to their biology and anatomy its not too much of a stretch.

And you’re right, armand is always described as being very androgynous, and bringing that along with his limited memories of his youth and the trauma that he went through, he could very well be intersex and not even realise it, though lack of memory or some other factor. I love exploration of Armand’s gender identity a lot due to his lack of self identity in general, I’ve considered genderfluid armand before and even transgender armand (t4t devils minion… real) but intersex is a new concept to me that’s super fascinating.

(shout out to that one fic where armand IS alice because he can literally change his gender and sex at will btw been thinking about that since i read it… very good very delicious very gender)

On logistics of vampire specific pregnancy, i also agree that one participant must be a living human, i doubt that vampires can get one another pregnant (both being dead things, as well as the law to not create vampire children). I think male vampires who do sleep with human women (cough cough, lestat) would be able to get them pregnant, and that human men can get vampires pregnant too. Someone has to be alive to create life in this scenario.

Who knows if these pregnancies would be entirely viable without specific requirements. Would the fetus need blood in-utero if half-vampire?? or is the baby just human as its created with living dna regardless? how does the vampire reproductive system work?? if their hearts still pump blood and their lungs still breathe, and their brains are still alive, their reproductive system may still be functioning even if other processes shut down? Iirc the VC universe later established that vampirism is kind of like a ghost-alien parasite infecting a dead human body but keeping some parts of it living. maybe this does include reproduction, I think all grounds of logic went out when we first got to aliens.

In the tv-show universe (in which im basing this crazy au), the vampires can have sex (though they could not in the books), so this implies a working reproductive system.

Anyway yeah! I think intersex Armand COULD be getting pregnant here. Admittedly I’m not super familiar with intersex people and how this would work but I’d love to learn more and it’s definitely a way of getting mpreg to work here. I think im too scared to commit to omegaverse so this is a very fun dynamic and solution.

On to the other parts of this ask as I have gone on a bit, Armand does seem the type to neglect his own wellbeing to the point he doesn’t realise he’s pregnant until months along when there is little to be done, but I also think he wouldn’t want anything to be done. He might not have very good experience or track record with children or kid-vampires (see claudia), but he would love the evidence of love from daniel. It’s a part of daniel and a part of him, I think he’d be obsessed with that, that they can bring something that is alive and good and both of them to the world.

The idea of daniel realising like “oh my vampire boyfriend is actually very strangely, almost like he’s ill, but vampires can’t get ill! It’s weird it’s like when Alice was pregnant with… Oh! oh that’s it. okay.”

thank you for the ask this was very interesting.

[zhongrin]

childhood 🍬❤️

◇ characters ◇ zhongli

◇ tags ◇ death, depersonalization/derealization disorder, misunderstandings galore, but also teeth-rotting fluff, crack at the end

𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ⬙ 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

you don't even remember when you first met zhongli. he's in every single one of your birthday photos starting with your first.

he's just. always been there????

he's only a year older than you, but acts like he's much older sometimes.

being classmates, he's very close with your older sister guizhong. the three of you always hang out together, and sometimes zhongli's big brother osial even joins in.

naturally you go to the same school too.

and well, like almost all the girls in the school, you might have developed a tiny teeny crush on zhongli. i mean, how could you not? zhongli is so nice compared to the other boys. he doesn't pull your hair to get your attention, he shares candies with you, and he has the cutest smile!

you tell this to guizhong shyly and she laughs, but she gives you a knowing look and tells you to 'go for it' with a wink, whatever that means.

and then, one particular day while you're hanging out without her or osial around, zhongli pulls you closer and tells you that he has a secret to share with you.

oh??? could it be???

your little heart beats frantically in your chest. it feels like a balloon is slowly inflating inside you as the longer zhongli's silence stretches. that same adorable grin stretches his lips, chubby cheeks dusted in pink as he says:

"i think i want to marry guizhong one day."

.....

congrats, your heart just got broken to pieces at the tender age of eight :)

out of pettiness and misplaced anger, you cross your arms and huff.

"you can't!"

"wha- why?!"

"c-cause... cause!! i'm gonna marry osial!!!"

............

it makes sense to your eight years old brain, okay??? if you marry osial, zhongli can't possibly marry your sister, right?????

as always, you confide to guizhong - because you share everything with your sister and you desperately need someone to vent to - and she's literally rolling on the floor howling with laughter about this whole mess.

great, your sister finds the tragic situation funny.

naturally, things get a little.... awkward, between you and zhongli. you both kind of drift apart and you no longer hang out together every weekend.

so instead, you hang out with osial.

you're not sure what makes him want to hang out with you. you suspect zhongli told him about your "crush". which makes you a little mad, even though you basically did the same thing, ratting his crush to guizhong.

but anyway. you find that osial is a good company, even though he's more rambunctious than his younger brother. he's a different kind of fun, at least.

and then....

when you start high school, guizhong gets into an accident.

it's much too sudden. you waved her goodbye in the morning as she dropped you to your class... and then suddenly you're in the hospital later in the day, watching silently as your parents sob over her unmoving form on the hospital bed.

.....

strange.

your chest feels empty.

like someone just scooped a whole section of it off you and dumped it somewhere else.

....

.......

..........

since then, it's like you're watching a movie.

a really dull, boring one.

wake up. brush your teeth. chew on cardboard-like stuff. school. extracurricular. shower. more tasteless chewing. homework. study. sleep. rinse and repeat.

osial comes over every now and then. and he tries to bring you out, make you laugh like you used to, tease you to get a reaction out of you - something, anything...

.... but the most you give him is an empty stare and a smile that doesn't reach your eyes.

it isn't until when zhongli confronts you at school one day, that you finally break.

you don't know why. you haven't seen him or talked to him properly in months, maybe years, even.

you remember osial telling you that zhongli was in a similar state when he found out about guizhong. 

...... oh, right. he must have loved her all these times.

you don't really remember what transpired, but you remember seeing tears running down zhongli's cheeks, and that triggered your own tears, and that led to these two high-schoolers holding onto each other, crying and sobbing into each other's shoulders.

by the time your eyes hurt, you feel... present. like you're finally seeing things from your own eyes. you're highly aware of zhongli's warm arms around you, the way his wet lashes droop, the smell of osmanthus flowers enveloping your senses-

oh.

oh no.

not again.

"do you still love her?"

gods, you really want to hit yourself right now.

he regards you in confusion. after that crying session, that's what you're asking him first?

"of course, she will always be a dear friend to me."

"not like that-" you sigh and decide to drop the subject, "... nevermind."

"..... ah, are you referring to that confession from years ago?" zhongli chuckles as if he's remembering a fond memory, "perhaps i was, back then. but a lot of things have changed since then, so i can confidently say that the statement is now invalid."

you stay silent, and he watches you for a while before saying in a softer tone that sounds.... sad?

"don't worry, i know you still love osial."

............ h a h ?

"y-y-you remember that?"

"of course. and you've been hanging out with him constantly even until now, so it is quite obvious, i'd say. i... thought you were dating, at first, which is why i kept my distance... until that mindless brute hit me, saying i was being delusional and a very bad friend for not being there when you needed it most... i tried telling him that you really liked him, however-"

"zhongli, no, i said that because i was- i dunno- i was a kid and you were my first love and you just had to go and say you wanted to marry my sister- it was out of spite, okay?!"

dead.

silence.

"..."

"..."

"....... i was your first love? 'was'...?"

there's a hopeful look in his amber eyes, and you avert your eyes instinctively. but zhongli steps into your field of vision again stubbornly, eyes narrowed in determination as he slowly takes your hand into his.

"i... this might sound inappropriate given our current situation, and what has just transpired, but... [name], i adore you."

you blink and experimentally pinches your hand. pain has never felt so welcome in your brain.

"like- as a- friend?" you stammer, the familiar hope blossoming in your chest, but you're oh so scared.

scared of being disappointed again, of having your heart broken, again-

"my apologies, let me rephrase that. i bear romantic attractions to you."

the balloon pops. tears prick the corner of your eyes once more.

you think you can hear guizhong giggling and patting your back.

"will you... allow me another chance? to make you fall in love with me once more?"

yes, yes yes, a thousand times yes, you want to scream.

but... you've always been a little petty, haven't you?

".... fine," you keep your voice as haughty and aloof as possible, but your smile betrays your attempt at posing an indifferent attitude, "but it won't be easy."

zhongli smiles.

"a battle hard-won is a battle worth remembering. you won't regret this, [name]."

fast forward to twenty years later as you visit guizhong's grave with your children - and yes, you can certainly say you didn't regret giving your now-husband a second chance.

"do you remember the days when we were so young and foolish? sometimes i wish i could rewind time and fix all the mistakes i made... but i fear the butterfly effect will take you away from my arms, so i think i should just savor this moment instead." "husband, i love you and all but can we please go to sleep it's 4am."

extra 1:

"dear, you are sure you don't want to marry my brother anymore, right?"

"ZHONGLI. THAT WAS LIKE. I DUNNO. FIFTY YEARS AGO?? ALSO WE'RE LITERALLY MARRIED??? JUST COME HELP ME CHANGE OUR BABY'S DIAPER????"

"i'm just making sure..."

extra 2:

"i bet my dearest sister is laughing at us right now."

"i believe you would be correct, my love."

© zhongrin | 2022 ◆ no repost. reblogs much appreciated. feel free to reach out to submit suggestions, feedback, comments, or if you just want to talk!

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[annabelle-creart]

A lil Blurr redesign for the Life of Rescue Bots Au because I wanted her to look femenine (I know in the show is male but Rescue bots don’t have enough women and I wanted some body angst for the Chase and Blurr plot, and by that I mean father and daughter plot)

I added the lil things that look like antenae cause of Chase’s moving fins of his head sides, that move when he hears something, and also I added an ambulance mode because they really need a real ambulance in the program, they don’t even have one in academy :v

In conclusion: i keep much of the body shape cause of her personal plot but also wanted her head to look femenine, and of course her character as well, added and alt mode ambulance and antennae so she would look physically more to Chase

In this Au she was an ilegal racer back on Velocitron before the war knock at the planet, she was one of the best but always get injured, the debts were higher and with the police getting out of control just as the people, she and Salvage decided to escape together to another planet near, but something went wrong and they both ended up crashing on earth and then into stasis, if they weren’t asleep so much time they would probably had Chase’s age but due to the stasis, they remain as teenagers, the day the sky turn red and green due to the battle between Mandroid and the autobots, the ship they were trapped into send a signal to Griffin Rock, because it was near, so the rescue team went into the rescue and awake them, becoming since then the two new members of the rescue team with Sissi. Even if sometimes acts like a kid she is really passionate and love people but is a little insecure in the moment of recieve and give care, she was orphan just like Salvage, they only learned to trust in each other, even when Blurr treat Salvage like less and lie to him too much times to count it or Salvage says things at her ear to annoying her and keep her away from the rest.

it’s actually something i want to talk about not here but in a comic but if Blurr and Salvage are teenagers who grew up alone and treated like scrap i would not be surprised that they depend too much into each other at the point of a toxic relationship where Blurr treats Salvage like less even if can’t do anything without him and Salvage makes her think no one is enough or secure for her except him, so, yeah, both have problems and need therapy… you know? I’m going to edit Salvage’s psychiatric disorder from ‘none’ to ‘emotional dependent’ I literally just thought in the idea and like, i didn’t even planned that Salvage and Blurr would be such a mother fraggers ajksjaksjs

But don’t think wrong, Blurr and Salvage are not bad, they are just hurted and don’t know how to deal with the situation, Blurr can be a little egotistical for all the years she had been thinking and taking care about herself and Salvage talk to her just like she wants because he knows her well, enough to be like a second conscience, they do what they think necesary to survive because what is now a toxic relationship was Salvage’s superhero who could keep him safe and sound and never allowed a night without energon, and Blurr’s family who cure her wounds and kept her faith in humanity (well, velocitranity?), they just were together too much time and started treating the other with more authority than they actually have.

I think sleep absence is making me do angst, night mfs, I need more sleep than Kade dreaming with gremlins

[lovingaquarius]

💐 ANOTHER ASTROLOGY OBSERVATIONS BY MOI 💐 #3 i believe?

‼️ DISCLAIMER this is completely based on my personal experiences and observations do not take what i say literally i am NOT a professional astrologer‼️

🌸 there’s something with aquarius suns and when upset just going silent. i can attest to this but i’ve seen this alot like if i’m upset at you and can’t leave the immediate vicinity i go MUTE like i can not conjure up the energy or tolerance to say anything. i’m absolutely the type when i’m upset to be on the FARTHEST side of the seat closest to the door cause i just wanna GET AWAY

🌺 maybe it’s bc cancer is ruled by the moon which is a feminine but all the cancer sun males i’ve known have been more feminine or in touch with their feminine and kind of “emotional” (not to cater towards the stereotype that all women are emotional! but we are inherently more emotionally intelligent) they seem to take it rlly personal if you don’t like them back as well. the type who could not be friends with an ex yk

🌼i feel like virgo and capricorn are the placements that like colder, dimly lit environments with a whole bunch of candles lit and blankets -also i feel like cap placements are the ones to be more winter people than summer or spring? lmk if this is resonates with you!!

🌹 maybe some can relate but me and my mercury ruled friend group all will make the most random noises out loud at the most random times. it’s therapeutic honestly 😩 we usually have a random word we’ll make up and keep adding on to it over time until it becomes our own little language LMAO

🌷 idk if this is a gem moon thing because we’re known to be sharers of random knowledge but istg all my friends and some of my family come to me for answers about virtually anything but esp about spirituality. they will literally expect me to have all the answers in the world. i’ve said i don’t know a couple times and ppl have been like “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS!!” LMAOO

🪻 can anyone with 6h neptune or maybe more specifically w piscean energy there (i have aqua sun, neptune in the 12 degree of pisces and than pisces uranus there as well ) have very vivid dreams to the point that you can’t figure out if some things that happened in your life were dreams or not+ frequently have dreams within dreams. i get deja vu at LEAST once a day or i think the correct term would be deja reve which means you feel as if you’ve dreamt that moment before. i’ve had dreams that became real but it’s never important things. for example: before i got my youngest cat i had a dream we got him a year earlier. and then just last week i had a dream that my washing machine started leaking and i ran in there and fell LMAO and then two days later my washing machine started leaking (and this has never happened before) thankfully this time i was careful and did not fall 😌

🌻 let me know if im alone in this but i think it’s kind of funny. i have 11h cancer saturn (rx) and i have all my life struggled with connecting with kids and have never really felt maternal but for my friends i suddenly morph into a whole mother, making sure they’re eating well and sleeping like HUH??

🪷 aries mars/aries 1h

-holding alot of tension in head ex: jaw, eyebrows, neck

^ also getting headaches after crying or getting angry+ have frequent headaches or some kind of headache disorder

a chiropractor could probably be useful for this placement. just ALWAYS be discerning when finding one, getting a good one you trust is essential.

+ face getting flushed easily

(my mom has aries in the 1h and i have aries mars and we both 1. cry when we’re mad, 2. face gets soo flushed from wine, and gets red fast when angry) like sometimes something will make me mad or annoyed and my face will flush and get so hot and red) -its also the same for when i get a LITTLE embarrassed which is NOT often it’s so annoying 🙄

💐 this is specific but as someone w a 7h pieces venus i attract a lot of men with venus in pisces for some reason and i finally get a taste of my own medicine bc they will project all their fantasies onto me and be like “i’m in love with you”…sir we have not had one conversation where you asked anything about me…

🌸 if you have ur moon in the 5h you may be a natural with kids or rlly want to be a mother/parent my mom has this and she is so unbelievably good with kids. all of her family would always drop their kids off at our house so she would take care of them and the PATIENCE SHE HAS WITH THEM?!? unreal. they will be having a whole tantrum and she’ll be holding them just joking around which either made them angrier or calm down but they always would come to respect her and listen. even if they are known to be bratty. they would send their naughty kids to our house and call it “angie boot camp” lmaoo

thank you for reading lmk in the comments if any of these resonate for you! until next time <3

[youremyheaven]

I need some advice. I feel like I'm dying. Going through the worst period cramps ever (never had this in the past 11 years), it literally feels like someone is stabbing my cervix, uterine walls and the pathway walls (I feel a bit shy calling it what it is...like a normal woman). Its so bad, I've never had it like this before. Has to do with the fact I was having isues, doc put me on meds, as soon as the dosage was done: red sea spilleth over.

Know any home remedies to help? Or just any other advice to deal with this? Can't go to the doc rn, she'll suggest to hold off pain meds, I am taking over the counter anti-inflammatory stuff..yk the one for fevers and other pains. Its not working. Its been so debilitating...I can't sleep, sit, breathe, do anything...yk the type of pain that makes you bend and make your mouth water...idk if that happens to anyone else but yeah....

OMGGG 😩😨😨😓that sounds soooo rough, I hope you're feeling better now???

I have taken meftal spas for cramps since I was maybe 16-17 years old. Idk if that's available in other parts of the world??? but its widely available in India and its specifically for period cramp induced pain<333 I'm not a doctor so pls don't take any medication without exercising caution first!!! you may not react well to it or it may have adverse effects bc of the medication you're already taking ://// 😩😩

on that note, practicing yin yoga (which focuses on releasing stress from the hip area/psoas muscles) has greatly changed my reproductive system as a whole tbh, my sex drive changed, my relationship with my body changed (like even the way i walk changed bc my hips loosened up, which meant i walked more "freely" dont tell me its woowoo,, yk can just tell when someone's body is very "frozen" or "stiff" looking) and yesss my menstrual cycle was immensely affected by it.

i used to have HORRIBLE cramps, irregular cycles, HEAVY bleeding etc in my mid-late teens (this was because of trauma + eating disorder, in case u wanted to know) and now? my period is 3 days long, light bleeding, little to no pain and i attribute alllll of that to yoga<3

now i specifically like to do certain mudras and asanas (poses) which are supposed to help the female body specifically

and while this can help u when u are on your period, i suggest making it part of your lifestyle and living according to your monthly cycle's phases so that you can experience smoother periods. i dont think its realistic to do them if you're experiencing immense pain 😭

Legs-Up-The-Wall Pose (Viparita Karani)

This pose is known for increasing blood flow to the pelvic region which helps enhance the health of your reproductive organs.

2. Baddha konasana aka butterfly pose

helps the uterus<333

3. balasana or child's pose

tbh this might actually help even if ur ON your period, lying down like this is soooo soothing and comforting. ppl overcomplicate yoga, when the reality is that holding your body in certain poses can emotionally feel very comforting/freeing/nourishing etc but then again im only familiar with yin yoga/restorative yoga (there are manyyyy different types of yoga)

4. happy baby pose

as the name suggests this is how babies lay down and they seem happy for no reason,, i remember the first time i consciously did this pose and i was like???? this is yoga??? bc i would randomly do poses like these for no reason in bed (im sure we all do when we're bored) and if i intentionally do it?? its actually good for me??

again this pose helps with the hip muscles!!! the female body is always preparing for childbirth. regardless of whether or not you want to be a mom, taking care of your womb health and reproductive well being is CRUCIAL bc whether we like it or not we were designed this way and dont think of it as "preparing my body to bear children" just think of it as "preparing my body to be at its best" (the bearing kids is just a bonus) .. the state of your womb affects your whole being!!! its not a joke!!!

now here's some mudras:

yoni mudra

yoni means womb and as u can see, this pose imitates the 🫣🫣 its a highly beneficial mudra for women and helps with overall pelvic health. you can do it sitting cross legged. i like to chant mantras and do this pose,, it kicks in quicker or smthng idk 😳but it feels ✨

2. prana mudra

do this mudra on both hands btw!!

prana means life force

this mudra helps with overall immunity and pain management!!!

3. prithvi mudra

prithvi means earth and this mudra helps balance the earth element in your energetic system which means its gives you strength, resilience and physical energy (in case u feel tired, fatigued etc for no reason) as those are the qualities of the earth

now for some pranayamas

Bhramari/ honeybee buzzing

this is my fav bc its so simple and easy to do!! and who doesn't want to buzz like a bee??? 🥰😍

2. anulom vilom

this is also a very simple pranayam for beginners

the whole idea is to get your body into a state of relaxation so that you dont operate from a place of stress or anxiety. you can just feel peaceful all the time. imagine being that unbothered!!

sorry for going off on a tangent (me with every post lmao) these are some beginner friendly yoga asanas/mudras/pranayamas (all of which are diff components of yoga) that u can try when u feel comfortable!!

NOW about alleviating pain ASAP:

hot water bag

put that thing on ur stomach and lie down (after taking medicine) my mom used to do this all the time and it helped her a lot

2. roobois tea

i drink roobois tea almost everyday hehe but its said to help alleviate menstrual cramps 🤔and lower blood pressure,,

3. chamomile tea

is also said to help with period pain :o

4. look into your diet, sleep, overall lifestyle

you may not have had pain of this sort before but babe NOW UR A WOMAN ✨and u have to look at your lifestyle and ensure that its something that helps a woman's body feel rested and calm

being stressed all the time can take a physical toll on you and lead to all kinds of diseases later in life!! its in your best interest to RELAX

idk how much this helped 😭😭the most convenient thing to do would be to take medicine but u said u can't so :((( hot water bag + roobois tea???

ALSOOOO always wear socks during your period and keep your feet covered. i have sensitive feet so i wear socks at home often (this is uncommon in india, where we have a tropical climate lmao) BUT KEEP THOSE FEET COVERED,, there's some kind of science behind it but i dont remember it lmao,, all i know is that it makes me bleed less<333 and have more cozy periods and sleep better<33

ALSOOOO,, this could be an old wives tale but it worked for me (but im also delusional😍) eating dark chocolate and/or having a spoon of oil on day 1 of your period makes your period go smoothly?? 😭😭😭there's no harm in trying hehe

ALSOOO and ive never tried this but heating up like a tablespoon of oil and applying it to the bellybutton area 😳😳can help alleviate period pain 😳😳

lastly and most importantly, im just a girlblogger and NOT A MEDICAL EXPERT so pls dont put urself in an adverse position bc of something i said 😭😭😭

love always,

heaven ✨

[fireycircus]

Ok it’s 2 am right now and instead of trying to sleep I’ve been thinking about how I feel about Usopp post time-skip and his character progression cuz I see a bunch of people have problems with it but I honestly like it. I just want to put my thoughts into the ring

So, most of my thoughts about him base on my own generalized anxiety disorder and how I’ve coped with it. I don’t think people consider that people with anxiety issues will struggle with it for life. It makes sense to me that Usopp continues to have moments where he runs away from the problem at hand despite his personal growth over the time-skip.

Usopp’s character growth isn’t about never running away or being “strong”. It’s about being brave, doing things despite how scary they are. It’s about him becoming more confident in himself and realizing he has a place on the crew.

People probably don’t think that Usopp changes much after time-skip because hasn’t he always been doing this? Well, yeah he has but the difference here is how he copes with the things that scare him. He does that better, and he doesn’t need to use a fake persona like in the past. He can be himself now.

I think the best example is in Dressrosa because of how much time he gets in the spotlight there. The first time he faces Sugar he runs away, but he’s a lot faster to realize he can’t do that than in the past. He accepts the challenge without the use of his Sogeking persona (which is a HUGE step). He gets it done and when it’s time to face her again he isn’t afraid at all. He’s being hunted down by a giant mob and yet he has his eyes on the prize.

The significance to me lies in my own experience. My flight response is so overwhelming that it’s impossible for me to think clearly at first. I’ve only started being able to calm myself down in 10 minutes versus the hours it used to take.

I get like this over things like writing a paper. Usopp gets like that over fighting for his life. I think that makes his actions pretty reasonable. It’s hard for me to exactly put it into words, but the growth for him lies in being able to get focused and stay focused after that initial flight response. I hope that makes sense to other people that aren’t me.

One last thought that’s semi-related. The scene in Wano that everyone likes to shit on Usopp for. Can we stop and think for half a second and realize that he would be acting just like Nami was if he was in her place.

There’s a list of priorities for Usopp when he’s in trouble that’s different for when others are in trouble. It’s something he shares with a lot of other members of the crew. If he’s in trouble in a situation where people are dissing Luffy, he will make up a whole speech on why they’re wrong about him. If another crew member is in trouble, their safety comes first. We’ve literally seen this happen before, why are people freaking out about it?

Plus, it’s not as if Luffy would get mad at him for it. His crew’s lives are more important than his pride. That’s been a thing all the way back since drum island with Vivi telling him to stand down for Nami’s sake. He’s learned that lesson as a captain. So it would make no sense for it to be a problem when Usopp does it. Especially since Luffy’s gained such a deep understanding of Usopp and how his mind operates after Water 7.

Ok rant over. I’m sorry if this is kind of incoherent, I’ve got a lot to say and don’t always know the best way to explain it. I’d be happy to know if other people have thought about this stuff too. Thank you for listening Usopp nation.

[roe-and-memory]

i think WAY too much about the hc of lightning having rosacea. its at the forefront of my mind ALWAYS.

his cheeks are perpetually flush, thats a given. it goes hand in hand with his sight issues (light sensitivity - also an autistic trait; goes hand in hand with sensory processing disorder which i Also believe he has), and it flares up with emotional stress.

lightning isn’t a big stresser, not during the day at least. he really doesnt worry about anything unless he has a Reason to be worried about it, like something hes been warned about. however, his nightmares are a WHOLE different story - he doesnt realize it, but they cause such an immense amount of stress for him at night. the only thing he ever really stresses ABOUT is going to sleep, he hates it with every fiber of his being, because he knows what’ll come to him in the middle of the night and he knows he cant do a thing about them. he himself wouldnt label it as stress though, only sally and doc and literally everyone around him who’s been a witness to this sheer discomfort whenever it comes time to rest.

so, in the middle of the night, he’ll have these nightmares, and he’ll Stress in his sleep. it’s why he listens to music so often while he sleeps, that walkman helps keep him some type of calm if its not too bad, but when it IS bad? oh. god.

he’ll wake up in the morning with a face so burning hot it could be mistaken for a fever, and sometimes possibly some vision impairment (blurry - this goes away over the course of a couple hours; worsened light sensitivity - this one lasts the entirety of his flare ups), his cheeks and nose are red and underneath the freckles that litter his face you can see little purple blood vessels in his skin becoming more prominent. it drives him NUTS. it also doesnt help his case that these flare ups just make him More exhausted, therefore more subconsciously stressed about falling asleep. its like one big Loop of sheer Hell

sally and doc have both mistaken it for him being sick, but when it Kept happening (and lightning expressed its happened his whole life, just awful flare ups that made his face hurt like hell) doc actually looked into it and figured out what it was. theres no cure for it, but the discovery led to a Lot of attempts at solving the core issue - his nightmares. nothing really worked, and that kind of sucked, but it was better safe than sorry to see if they could dampen the amount of times it DID flare up.

sometimes it looks kinda like he spent an hour standing over a fire pit, letting the flames and smoke billow up into his face - its been mistaken for burns on multiple occasions - and its a pain to race with because his helmet sometimes rubs against it and makes the rash feel 100x more irritated ..

[queenofbaws]

Someone snagged top 5 vhawke moments so how about top 5 things to write for vhawke? (Tropes, plot lines, banter, whatever)

oooooOOOOOOOH this one is delicious, thank you audrey 🥹

bed sharing bed sharing bed sharing. i am but a simple woman (with a fatigue disorder). bed sharing is my ultimate weakness, i fold like wet cardboard every time. first of all. there are so many OPPORTUNITIES to bring bed sharing into a vhawke fic. they're always runnin' around! always gettin' up to shenanigans! they gotta rest EVENTUALLY! or they're always hanging out at the hanged man, drinking. sometimes you GOTTA sleep a rough night off at your bff's place 😏 AND they're always going on fetch quests for [insert important npc]. maybe it rains. maybe you gotta camp out in a cave. or the sundermount summit. or the deep roads. and are you really packing multiple bedrolls? i mean, seriously???????? the opportunities are endless, and they're all PRIMO. FIC. FODDER.

FANCY! PARTIES!!!!!! okay this one is like. this one is complicated for me because it comes with a second trope, but they're so intertwined i have trouble separating them, lmao. that second trope is, for lack of an official name i guess, 'zip me up,' or helping someone else get dressed (or UNdressed, i'm not here to tell you what to do) FOR a fancy party. hawke and varric having to navigate some big, fancy shindig (think halamshiral, think chateau haine, think whatever is expected of them after they're kirkwall's ruling family lol) is just. the ideal for me. champagne. expensive clothing. INTRIGUE??? hehehe it's literally the WHOLE reason i wrote the durellion affair - because i genuinely couldn't get enough of it and had to put more into the world salkdjfsdkf

banter. like. these two are just. a goldmine. for witty back and forth. asdkljflskdjf i love getting to write them as like, kirkwall's most criminal improv duo. i mean when you really get down to it, that's...pretty much who they are, right? right??? but - and here's the secret sauce - the banter can't simply stand on its own. nononononono. the banter must be a cover for Actual Feelings and Thoughts. the banter must be Armor. when you can let juuust enough of the real stuff shine through the zingers? *chefs kiss*

the oh. oh. moment. it's so WEIRD, because TYPICALLY when i write shippier stuff, i tend to sort of hover around mostly-established-couple territory, but when it comes to these two, god help me, i keep coming back to the moment of realization. like aw shit. oh maker. this...this is going to be...okay. okay i can handle this. just. just in love with my best friend. okay. all right. why not. everything else is on fire, let's light this one up too askdfjksdjf honestly i think a huge part of that is that we don't GET a moment like that in the game, so there's just so many POSSIBILITIESSSSSS (and i'm gonna continue dumping those possibilities on the internet at large until bioware stays my evil hand)

the skyhold reunion. i mean. i mean. just. after everything they've been through up until that point? after how long they've been apart???? the skyhold reunion. 🥲

[misterxsamsa]

Part One

Will write more if you want!

Okay so this is what I’m thinking: JV has used Johnny as a way to vent/tell his truths and gaslit everyone into thinking it wasn’t about him.

There are many things similar between the two: the way they look/dress (90’s mall goth), the haircut, being a cinephile, his viewpoints on humanity, his personality, etc. What I’ve gathered from posts on the internet about people who’ve met him in the 90’s, he was considered to be toxic. Which considering he was still in his teenage years/early adulthood it’s understandable. He literally looks like Johnny!

On the Johnny Twitter account, there are SO many tweets that are just JV venting or talking about things he likes. Short haired girls, talking about women all being insane (which he’s done on livestreams), his views on people, even down to just random bullshit like eating snacks and avoiding sleeping. All of those tweets are just JV. Johnny is a puppet for him to speak and vent through. And you might be going, “well, he HAS to come up with things for Johnny to say”…so why make him completely similar to himself? Surely a creative mind could come up with more.

Think about it, many panels are totally just artwork based on real life with a modification here and there. For example, Johnny laughing at a sitcom/not killing himself because he has something to watch to distract him. If that isn’t JV I don’t know what is. And if you’ve ever been there when he had literal breakdowns on stream, you’d know 1.) he used media as a distraction, clearly and 2.) he’s suicidal. Even though everyone brushes it off as a joke.

There are so many interviews and things JV has said himself that would indicate he: has a sleep disorder/is afraid of sleep, he doesn’t understand people (which Johnny doesn’t either) arrogance and hypocrisy, among other things that also indicate paranoid ideation. Which…I can’t even blame him because some of his fans are…interesting. Seriously, he fathered that whole “zomg I’m so random xD” school of thought. Disorganized thinking but make it funny and marketable I guess.

There are even interviews and I think one of them is on YouTube where an interviewer called it a joke and he looked SO pissed. If JTHM TRULY wasn’t about him, or a joke…why would he selling get angry if an interviewer said it was?

Even observing him in his livestreams, you can totally pinpoint things that make you go “Johnny would totally say that”, and “this is a symptom of [insert mental illness here], and the breakdowns everyone has already witnessed. Now, people brush it off as “everything he does is a joke”, but do you REALLY think that’s the case?

The thing about JV is that he’s the ultimate hipster: he clearly doesn’t care about being understood and wants to be seen as completely original and “too good” for things everyone else likes. He has amazing tastes sure, but *many* people do whether they like the same things or not. Hence why he also has stated he can’t stand being copied before. (Forgot where I saw that on the internet, sorry.) This is why he also hates when anyone relates to his work…because it no longer becomes personal or special. Not even because people read JTHM wrong/think it’s edgy humor/is a phase to them. And think about it…why would you care if people only use your work to LARP if you’re getting paid and it’s just a joke to you anyway? Why would you WANT them to actually get it…if it isn’t something that’s clearly important to you?

Mostly, JTHM is FULL of intrusive thoughts. Most people have them, but to an artist that gives them ideas for their artwork.

This is just SOME stuff I have written but let me know if you want more.

Anon, I will be thinking about this forever.

For my own Jhonen-esque reasons I'm allergic to getting too personal on my blogs typically, but I'm making an exception here because of the work put into this...

I've been JTHM since my formative years, and it's always been a big inspiration towards my art, writing, and interests. You can tie a good 75% of my interests back to JTHM, or the things referenced within it somehow. I've also struggled with a fuckload of mental illness since forever. So, for the longest time, I've accidentally looked towards Jhonen Vasquez as this weird litmus test standard for normalcy? He made my struggles look artistic and interesting, instead of just lame and debilitating. All while being a SEEMINGLY normal-passing dude, despite clearly having some issues. It's been hard, you know, kinda grappling with the fact that I'll probably never be able to maintain that level of presentation and seeming stability. See, I'm not a livestream kinda guy, so my exposure to him is all panels and interviews. So! Imagine my reaction upon you telling me that this guy, at fifty something, is apparently a complete dork who has suicidal breakdowns on livestream! I'm finally free!

Everybody I look up to is just as lame as I am, and I never have to worry about this ever again! ANYWAYS, ONTO THE ACTUAL ASK! I'm pulling a Jhonen and officially declaring everything I just said as an elaborate exercise in brilliant irony!

Yeah, you're right about all of this and you should say it. I've always seen Johnny as being Jhonen's borderline self-insert slash power fantasy. It's done so obviously, that his continous attempts to deny it just make it seem more obvious. Though, I'll say that before reading this I thought Johnny was perhaps a more exagerrated depiction of his personality, but maybe not as much so as I originally thought? In regards to him being perceived as rude in the 90s, I've never been able to pinpoint if he was as callous as everybody said, or just unaccustomed to interacting with people who looked up to him so much. When MCR was on its last leg as a band, I know people used to really tear into Gerard Way on forums for not having his usual energy, when he was just depressed, lol. It's probably a mix of both.

I'd love to see more of what you've written. Please never be shy about sending large essays! I love them, and that's why I write them, and subject everyone on Tumblr to my longwinded opinions.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi! I love your blog and your recs are fantastic! I've read so many awesome stories that I might never have found without your recs.

I was hoping to get help finding a fic I loved. Sherlock had disassociative identity disorder, and John learned about this and got to meet his alters.

Sherlock kept it secret at first. But after John found out (I think during a thunder storm and whoever was fronting was scared?), John got to know everyone. One of the alters was a young girl, and I remember she snuck around at night once and looked at a sleeping John. I'm pretty sure she was grabbing a cookie from the kitchen. John played Guess Who with her at some point later on to get to know her. She really liked and wanted to play games. I think there was an alter named Sneak, but I'm not entirely sure. Im fairly certain that one of them played the guitar, and went out and got one.

The alters were able to talk to each other. I think I remember them arguing over whether or not they could trust John about them being a system near the start.

I think later in the story, there was some sort of conflict that resulted in Sherlock planning to run away from John. Maybe they killed someone? I'm not very sure about the context. The young girl alter didn't want to leave.

I mainly read on ao3, so that's probably where it is, but I can't find it in my bookmarks! So it might be on fanfiction.net. I really wanna find it again. Thank you in advance!

Hi Lovely!!

Thank you so much for your kind words! I am so happy that you enjoy your time here and make my blog a part of your day!!

OKAY so I LITERALLY just recently read a fic with a plot VERY similar to this, with all the details very similar as well, but it was JOHN who had DID and Sherlock was the one that met all the altars. It was very good, and I'm wondering if it's the same one you read, just mis-remembering who the lead character was? Here it is:

Fade To Black by twistedthicket1 (M, 93,389 w., 29 Ch. || Dissociative Identity Disorder, Action, Romance, Violence, Implied Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Fluff and Angst, Baskerville, Human Experimentation, PTSD, Implied Self Harm, Trauma Amnesia, Past Child Sexual Abuse, Protective Sherlock, Smoking, Meddling Mycroft, Past Victor/Sherlock, Gay Sherlock, Sherlock’s Past, First Kiss/Time, Happy Ending) – John Watson believes one day he'll just fade. That he'll drown in the black spaces of his mind, and that one day he will no longer exist. It's always been like this, the dark spots marking out moments in his life he can't remember. Where for just a moment he's someone else. Having a Dissociative identity disorder, he can't even be entirely sure he's really who he says he is. Then he meets Sherlock Holmes. A brilliant detective who when he looks at you can read your entire life story. John is immediately fascinated and afraid, half-wondering if maybe Sherlock can see the other personalities in him and half terrified of the thought of him finding out. Becoming his flatmate seems at once to be a wonderful and horrible idea. Yet as John's Blackouts become more and more severe and his other personalities begin to truly awaken and show themselves with Sherlock's help, the two soon discover that sometimes even the kindest person can harbour a demon best left untouched inside of them. Because not all of John's other personalities play nicely and some may be hiding secrets best left undisturbed...

=====

I'm PRETTY sure this is the fic you're looking for, because all the details seem the same as the ones in the fic you're looking for!

If anyone knows if there's another, please let us know!!