#I literally have pages of notes
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#they r so screwed. theyre toast. its joever. those notes will do NOTHING to help them. 'ask jamil' and a line down the page. cmon#silver looks soooooo cyute tho. crewel im sorry these two will eternally be in supplemental lessons#i think that perhaps the cauldron is supposed to have blue liquid not pink smoke. but who's to say#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#kalim al asim#divus crewel#suntails#i was literally starting the rendering on this when crewel's card came out so i immediately pivoted to that greenish lighting#twas the best
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05/30/2024
where have i been, you ask? bar prep 24/7, baby!! well more like 24/7 dread about bar prep and only several hours of studying after calming myself down....... the only thing getting me through this tumultuous time is wearing cute shoes, drinking coffee, and using my cute new planner🌼
#please ignore the wrong info about the types of deeds as i am just quickly taking lecture notes.. i have since corrected it#my 3L law school hobonichi ended in march so i had to use the back grid pages as a weekly planner in april :(#now i'm using a 100 days motemote planner i got from korea and it is literally just a list of tasks for everyday#mine#studyblr#tea-tuesday#study inspiration#studyspo#studying#study#study motivation#b*r pr*p
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They infect my art history notes once more.
#sigh. Some of them look kinda wonky because although I've gotten better at doodling in pen it's hard to get it right sometimes because#NO ERASER. so sorry to Keiji Nao and Reko's messed up hands/arms. Doin' my best while half-listening to the lecture 🫡#also I know 90% of my art/doodles lately are just characters in boring/default poses but only having time to doodle around my class schedul#limits my creativity a bit but it's still fun to doodle so I like posting them anyway. BUT I'm almost on winter break so. Time to Lock In.#(Aka draw a lot)#my art#doodles#undescribed#yttd#your turn to die#literally when I'm in class it's just like. An hour of me vigorously switching between doodling in the margins and then#Jumping back to writing notes as fast as I can because I write down a lot and I'm trying to keep up with what's being said shdidjkd#It's funny. so satisfying for a page to be full of Stuff though
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I WAS TODAY YEARS OLD WHEN I LEARNED "RETCON" WAS SHORT FOR "RETROACTIVE CONTINUITY" LMAO THANKS ALEX HIRSCH
im watching/listening to gravity falls episode commentary heres another bomb that shOOK ME IM ON THE BIPPER EP (sock opera) AND ALEX GOES "YOULL NOTICE DIPPER BLINKS RIGHT BEFORE BILL APPEARS, BILL CAN ONLY APPEAR IN YOUR DREAMS, DIPPER IS ASLEEP, THE COUNTDOWN ON THE LAPTOP ISNT REAL"
BRO ITS 2024 AND I HAD NO fUCKIN IDEA WHAT DO U MEAN THAT COUNTDOWN WASNT REAL AAAAAAAASLDKJALKSD
also also how everybody thought bill was pulling a whole IM A GREAT DECEIVER/MANIPULATOR while trying to convince mabel to give him the journal and like nO HE WAS BEING GENUINE HE REALLY THOUGHT MABEL WAS A KINDRED SPIRIT CHAOS AGENT AND WAS LIKE "OBV YOUD WANNA PICK THE MORE FUN OPTION, THIS IS A SOLID PLAN!!!!" ASLDKJALSK
BILLS NOT A MASTER MANIPULATOR HES AN IDIOT THAT LACKS THE MATURITY OF A 12 YR OLD I LOVE HIM SM LMAO
#clown honks#gravity falls#alex said smth like 'bill is like mabel's chaos times a billion' LMAO#SUCH GREAT WRITING TIPS AND INSIGHT IN THIS COMMENTARY IDT IVE HAD THIS MUCH FUN LISTENING TO COMMENTARY .. EVER??#ITS ALL ON YOUTUBE I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IF UR INTO WRITING N ART???#IN A WEIRD WAY I FEEL LIKE IM TAKING A CLASS LMAO#A VERY VERY FUN AND FUNNY CLASS#100% I HAVE TAKEN NOTES#I LITERALLY HAVE A FULL PAGE OF WRITING NOTES
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They are from eons ago and only have paper doodles so here we go. OCs.
Duke goes by the nickname Tab because he's just from a very wealthy family and his friends put things under his name/on his tab with his permission. He's like "I don't care, I'll pay for it." "Oh you want that? I'll buy it for you." But they use it very respectfully and also flat out turn him down sometimes. Lark is his really cool girlfriend.
That's pretty much it! Lark has a younger sister. Tab really likes to wear plaid. That's all I got bye.
#my characters#i really like tab he was just a funny lil guy and the cute lil boyfriend to his really cool gf#he plays video games and she does sports but theyre just like yeah ok lets date#tab having a gf while his friends were single was i think my favorite thing back when i made them#theyre just college people idk man there was virtually nothing in my notes that was actually helpful from forever ago#on her page i literally say Green Eyes#cool ok what about her hair color past me hey past me i have some questions what sports did she do#he didnt even HAVE colors noted other than plaid clothing#i had to decide on my own he had blue eyes just now in the year of 2024
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i have to be honest, every time i draw piplup i have to look up how to draw piplup
#piplups have such smaller bodies than i remember them#and yet their heads are small too#there are a lot of reasons i'm not an animator#...yet#not art#i am piplup and you are the flowing grain#also WOWZA the NOTES ON THIS THING#i dont want to make an individual post about that but it needs to be said somewhere#my notes have been at 99+ for three days#literally on my activity page rn and they're back up to 45#sorry make that 46#47#so uhh if i miss your message#50#there is a reason#thank you so much friends
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sooooo humiliating when someone doesn't hard/softblock to break a mutual
#^ i literally have this request in my about page#and i hate vagueing but. omg. i'm embarrassed.#i also find this behavior kind of weird when they would obviously see u referring to them as a mutual as u rb and hype their work#under the assumption you're still friends??#like. i noticed they stopped interacting but i have nooooo idea how long this has been !!#i don't mind a block/softblock !! u could have spared me the shame !!#oh well :((#deleting my rbs of their ocs. taking my one note back. miranda cosgrove thank you.gif#anyways.txt#e: also i just remembered this is not the first time one of the two has done this to someone#but that time they were oddly mean while vagueing the person they unfollowed multiple times knowing they could see it all of it#vapid and strange !!
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i was just thinking how i missed drawing this way (:
#so i am reading musashi miyamoto but i have no idea how old he is#maybe they will say in the next page but my impatient ass couldn’t wait#he literally said that (in the book) oh bestie they do die of *deadly and contagious disease*#notes of a countryside dandy#my art
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#have this one too actually.#note that i heavily referenced the idw comic page with werehog sonic bc i was like “that's literally exactly what this shitpost needs.”#that specific pose. that angle. everything.#sonic the hedgehog#robin draws
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why can i literally not function at school like i swear i'm trying i just can't focus????
#luc posts#like i take notes but then i get bored and the doodle on the side of my page thst was meant to take 5 seconds took 10 minutes :(#and then im lost and bc im lost i get all fidgety and i keep doodling and then jts just a cycle#if i work for 20 minutes i feel like ive ran a marathon and i have to take a 40 minutes drawing/staring into the distance break#and im gonna fail maths but theres literally nothing i can do no matter what i do I can't focus for over 20 minutes at a time#and then its the end of class and i feel guilty bc oh i didnt do any work :( like i feel bad and i want to fix it but idk whats wrong so ho#can i fix it if i dont know whats wrong with meeeee#ugh#it literally makes me want to cry am i just lazy is that what it is am i literally useless why cant i work#like i was so ahead kf the average grades and i never learnt to study and now ugh i dont know how to function so i just dont#and it doesn't help that my friends are all geniuses#like they complain about their one mark away from full marks and im just like OH MY GOD if i could just focus then i coukd do so well#likr ok i guess i wont mention tjst i failed that test bc yall sre complaining about getting one mark off fukl makrs#likr fuckkkk okay i have so mucb potential why di i waste jt :(((((#i hate school so mucb#i genuinely consider dropping out sometimes like I CANT DO THIS hiw do these peiole di ut how hiw how someone tell me how to function#like these peiole getting top marks withiut eben truijgn and i tyr and i cant fishcis so i fail snd then ufh i want to die#bc its so embarassing i eas like top 10% of the class a few years ago and now i just cant function like how do these peiple do itso#someone explain ot me how oieolem focus and dony get distracted and ginish things kike ugh
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ugh i have an official deadline now for this draft of my first chapter. which means i actually have to work on it in earnest now instead of half-assing it. (boos from the crowd)
#hard 2 work on a draft when you'd rather do literally anything else lol#but i have like 30 pages of an outline/notes so that's a lot of work already done#anyway#to the phd
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Due to ADHD hell-brain I have to take notes and make lists for even the smallest things, including playing games. This means that my computer is littered with notes to self about my current BG3 game, including "To-Do" lists of who I need to kill next, which I'm sure must look completely normal to the average person.
#when i joke about page's 'to kill' list i'm just being literal tbh#also i should note on my current act 2 to-do list i have the thaniel quest written down as 'knock some sense into a child'#personal grumblings#robin plays bg3
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Yeah... I remember seeing the architectural design majors at my uni having this breakdown each semester...
#love in the air#lita#rain#scriptwriting was the only course within my major famous for making people openly cry#because the professor would eviscerate you with her feedback#not to be mean; but she would look at the feedback you'd already been given by your classmates over and over throughout the course#and if you still hadn't fixed issues she'd really stab into them and rip you apart#she liked me though- i followed the syllabus due dates and no one else did#meaning day 1 i already had a treatment ready by the first class#and even though she told me the syllabus schedule didn't need to be followed; i chose to follow it#because it kept me a week ahead or so#So when I finished each 200+ page draft of my script I was finishing it a week early#which let me focus on other exams in other classes and manage my workload more easily#the only time scriptwriting made me cry was when i spent 6 hours typing draft 6 of a 214 page feature and my computer crashed#erased the whole thing#i'd been typing up the script based on hand notes i'd written on my previous draft so it was easy to recreate#but redoing it took 8 hours since my hands were so tired#but that wasn't the classes fault; that was my fault#i did really well in the class; you just can't take feedback personally and a lot of writers really struggle with that#i've lost so many friends because they claim to be writers who take feedback seriously#and then it turns out they're little bitches about it and throw tantrums after begging me to give them feedback#so now I will not give a friend feedback on anything they write#for the record- the way i was trained is not to be cruel or mean#you literally just go through it like 'here is what I had issues with as a viewer and here are some ideas on how to easily fix that'#always offer a solution#and for every complaint you have to give a complementt#so i'm not out there like gordon ramsey ripping into people; it's very gentle and kind#except when i gave M her round 6 feedback on her script and she STILL insisted Mt Everest was 3 billion years old in her story#AT EVERY STAGE OF THIS SCRIPT I REMINDED YOU IT IS AROUND 30 MILLION YEARS OLD GET IT THROUGH YOUR-#Watch
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okay i just marathoned the entirety of ATLA live action & i might do an actual review of it explaining my thoughts more in depth, but the TLDR version basically boils down to this:
if you want to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender, just go watch the 2005 cartoon
#i was trying to keep an open mind & all that cuz of OPLA (my beloved) but. holy shit it was actually worse than i expected :/#like what were they thinking. did they use AI to write this or are the writers just like. really shitty#notes: they linger too much on random bullshit & refuse to move character development along#they tell when they should be showing & when they DO show it's for stuff that benefited from brief environmental storytelling in the OG#the plot drags so hard it was basically stagnant#there were some fun things but like. those things could've been funner if they'd been given the time other useless stuff was taking up#they changed so many minor details that really don't matter in order to make them more important#but this failed spectacularly because now there's just. stupid bullshit clogging up the plot??#instead of having 10 minute monologues 3 times an episode about plot irrelevant things#they should have taken a page out of the original's book & kept minor details to a minimum & focused on ACTUAL PLOT#SO MUCH CGI. LIKE I KNOW THEY NEED IT BUT COME ON. EVEN THE CHARACTERS?????? WHO ARE JUST STANDING THERE????????#they were given 8 hours & almost all of it was Aang angsting (lol) over being the avatar & not practicing actual bending#& then they ended the plot too early so they had to fill in the last like 20 minutes with something else#so they made up random lore that literally makes no sense. & overexplained all of it to the point i was blanking out from boredom#i think this is why i didn't enjoy Korra. they over explain the spirit world stuff & avatar powers & bending#that plus i just don't vibe with the aesthetic#being a writer is a curse because when i dislike something it's because i know exactly what went wrong & why#it's always with the analyzing & the judging & the internal note taking#even when i really try i can't just enjoy shit for fun
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you ever write up a combination of words you're really proud of at the time bc you think it's vivid but it's actually so atrocious that you remember it eight years later bc it's burned itself into your long-term memory? just me?
#i'm literally laughing my entire ass off rn. i can't believe i found this fic i wrote at 15 and orphaned when i came to my senses abt both#my complete inability and total aversion to writing first person as well as the fact that the english language should never have been#subjected to its words being done dirty like this 😭#also i straight up fucking LIED in the authors note??? i said i'd broken my knee as a kid which is categorically false. i fell down some#stairs and banged it up and it's a tiny bit weak ig but i didn't break it? all any teens born after y2k know is eat hot chip and lie...#still not over the first line... the flip flop bit i remembered but i'd COMPLETELY forgotten 'a shriek seeped out of my throat'. girl. what.#how does a shriek seep exactly? the world may never know...#and the use of 'groped' is also sending me 😭 AND 'crash bash whump thump' girlllll send help holy shit i can't stop coughing & laughing#the rest of the fic isn't quite this bad but it's very purple yet ineloquent and rough. it's a good reminder of how much i've improved and#honestly i'd rather read this utterly amature fic bc it's at least charming in its lack of skill rather than infuriating like some of my#oneshots that are still on my page bc they're more comprehensible but just bad enough to make me cringe. getting mad at this oneshot would#be like getting bad at a kid's stick figure drawing. like. it's just kinda cute to see someone starting out on their creative journey#my old sw oneshots on the other hand are like the awkward growing pains of puberty. you just can't help but wince at the reminder#this is okay to reblog btw bc it's objectively hilarious and i don't mind ppl finding humor in it#len speaks
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my god. skinny people really just have like. No Idea huh just absolutely not a single clue lmao it's almost funny to watch fr but then id lie if i said i wouldn't fucking kill to be able to be that ignorant
#girl i am SO sorry people react with surprise when you say you're studying to be an opera singer because you're#*checks notes* skinny and attractive. so so sorry that must be literal hell for you huh how will you ever recover :((((#no no please keep talking about how equally bad that is to the brutal fucking fatshaming and ED glorifying#in the industry that me and the only other fat girl in the room were talking about before you interrupted us <3#anyway. we were talking about this one review of a quite famous professional music critic whose only comment about a fat mezzo in the cast#was 'miss xyz.... lose some weight'. not a single word about her singing/acting/whatever. but yeah no you're too sexy for an opera singer#and THAT is the real problem here girl i totally understand yeah <3 thoughts and prayers dearest.#earlier that same day this same girl was standing next to me in her bodycon dress and went#*pointing at her stomach that's so flat its almost concave* 'ughhhh what do i have to do to not look pregnant in this dress 😩😫'#and i said 'girl' and just looked at her and like the sudden horrified realisation on her face was lowkey hysterical#like omg you really did forget you're not talking to your other skinny friends with whom you can pat each other on the backs#and reassure each other that 'dw girl ur not fat at all ur so so sexy!' huh sjshsjshsjs#but yeah i dont like making people uncomfortable irl so i did reassure her she looks hot and pretty and skinny as all shit#let at least one of us have a nice evening and not feel Absolutely Fucking Disgusting ig <3#and the day before that after i saw our (last ever btw never photographing myself with them ever again <3) picture and had a mini break down#the other even skinnier and smaller and petite-er crouched down next to me with the most guilty fucking expression and quietly asked me#if im alright and do i want her to delete those pictures (that she posted on two separate social media pages) and like#the look of immense fucking pity on her was even worse than seeing those pictures#like i know she meant well and was trying to be nice but my god. this really is how you all see me huh#like looking like me would be fate worse than death for yall#not even gonna mention the thing i just learned this friday that the retired ballerina who leads our ballet classes said about me#trying to cheer up the other fat girl who happened to have a bit of an emotional breakdown in the middle of the class :)))))))#like i am sooooooo so glad and honoured to be an inspiration to you. really. always happy to help. the exemplary Fat Girl Who Fucking Sucks#But Doesnt Let It Bother Her <333333#like on one hand. yeah it really does make me wanna jump off a cliff. but on the other. its just hilarious sjdgsjsgsj#you sure are right miss ma'am. i sure don't let this bother me at all. i am famous for my uncanny ability to Not Be Bothered by all this <33#but shes new. its ok. how could she know about the last two years when i was getting panic attacks and sobbing myself to sleep every tuesday#but yeah no. [lauren cooper voice] am i bovvered? am i bovvered tho? i aint even bovvered!
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