#I legitimately wrote book reports about them

[kate-komics]

The Fantastic Four were very much a corner stone of my childhood… so, obviously I’m gonna be very normal about this 😅

[balkanradfem]

I wrote this post in a word document, and I named this document 'not got stabbed yet', so that's the theme today.

I mentioned someone was slashing my bike tyres in the park, and it happened two times in 4 days. I thought, you know, crazy park person was after me, and I need to stop going to the park with a bike, if I want to avoid this.

However, something else happened next. Something that truly chilled me. My bike tyre was slashed the day after, and I hadn't been to the park that day. Not even close. I've been to work, and then visited a store, for 5 minutes. Someone found my bike and slashed it either at my workplace, or at the store. Someone had to follow me to find it there. Someone knew where I worked and shopped.

The tyre had a very small hole, so it deflated very slowly, and I only realized it was flat after I got home. I didn't know whether it was slashed while I was at work, or at the store. I took the tube out to check it out, found no thorn or any natural signs of damage, and called the police again. I wanted to know if there was more reports of this happening.

This time I was in luck and got to talk to a police woman! So I was happy, and I was able to share more details, such as where, when, how many times it happened, she was willing to hear me out. However, she did not take it seriously. She told me somebody probably got offended that I parked my bike at the park, because it is 'the park', so they wanted me to stop leaving it there, and since the third time hole was so tiny, it was possible I just ran into a thorn. I allowed that it could not be ruled out, but it was incredibly unlikely since I was only riding it directly on the street, not any grass or branches, and I did not find a thorn inside of the tyre. Usually when I do run on a thorn, it will get stuck in the outer tyre.

I explained I was worried about being followed, and legitimately scared of going to work next day, but she said I can't shut myself in, I shouldn't be scared, I shouldn't let someone know they've managed to unnerve me with this! And I'm facepalming, thinking, what kind of girl power is this? Is a stalker gonna quit if the victim is not unnerved enough? Wouldn't that inspire them to escalate behaviour? I sighed and thanked her for listening to me.

There were no other reports, she couldn't even tell me if it happened before at all to anyone. I looked up online if there were records of it happening to anyone, anywhere, but only articles I could find were about mass slashing on one location, like one person slashing 30 bikes at once. It was never about just one person having it happen repeatedly.

I was thinking about what was the point of this, and decided if it's not a crazy revenge for something (and I don't know what, I don't have beef with anyone in the entire city), it has to  be to stop me from using my bike. So I would have to walk. And be much slower. Much more easy to follow. And apparently I was already followed, if they managed to find my bike at my workplace. I was scared to go to work again.

To make things more interesting, I was at that point reading 'Career of Evil', which is jkr's book about a serial killer who stalks and murders women, and some of the book was written from the killer's perspective. This part helped me, because it revealed how it could actually be a bit difficult to attack a woman if she's only walking trough public places with people around, refusing to be out at night, refusing to go into dark alleyways or overcrowded bars and dance clubs. He couldn't do it out in daylight where there were witnesses. I had to stop and think whether this book logic could translate to real life, and if this holds out in reality. Can I protect myself just by being in open public spaces, in front of witnesses? Can I be sure I won't get stabbed if I stick to these rules? And I figured, yeah, that actually tracks, nobody will stab me in front of witnesses. And if I'm on my bike, it's harder to catch me. As long as I can quickly repair my bike every time and use it to get around, I should be safer than walking.

But I still felt unnerved about being followed, so I decided to go to work in a disguise. It was a different location and I didn't want to be followed there. I put together a jacket that was a different color than my usual one, put on a wig, different shoes, pants; it was obviously mismatched upon a close look, but if you saw me zooming by on a bike, you couldn't tell it was me.

Next morning, I nervously entered the workplace all costumed up, and people thought I was pulling a funny prank on them and were delighted. They insisted I stay in my new getup to show me to more people to get a laugh. They acted like it was the most fun thing I ever did. I played along, thinking how this is a convenient reaction, because I didn't want to take the disguise off immediately, for the chance that I'm still followed.

Later they asked me why am I in a mascarade, and I explained what happened. They then confirmed I'm definitely being followed, and started listing all cases where a woman got stabbed jogging or walking outside, which was just great to hear.

My bike remained whole that day, and I got home in my disguise safely as well. Now the question remained – do I stay home scared to go out all day? Do I just go around in a disguise everywhere? I needed to know why this was happening to me. And I felt sick of being scared and agoraphobic. So I made up a plan.

*

Later that same day, I went out with my bike in my usual outfit, bright and noticeable jacket, and my laptop in my hands. I went to the park. I carefully tied my bike behind where I was sitting, and opened up my laptop, which had a bit of tape covering the light from the camera. I was filming the bike with my webcam while I was on the laptop. It was almost obvious what I was doing, from the way I was sitting and leaning, but I was there to find out whether the tubestabby was a freaking idiot or not. Either he would fall for the trap, stab my tyre, get caught on camera, and I would know who did it. Or, he would do nothing while it's being filmed, and I could sit in the park, and do whatever I wanted to, safely.

My bike was fine half an hour later when I headed home, and I then had to review the footage, to see if anything happened. Bike was on camera the entire time, nobody came close to it, but also I was on camera, and while I was reviewing it, I had the crazy experience on seeing how my own face looks while I'm online, reading messages, scrolling trough tumblr. At first all I could see were my eyes moving left to right rapidly, I was speed reading, looking all scared and nervous because I did expose myself to a possible stalker and I was not having a good time. But as time went on, I saw myself breaking into smiles, because I had read something funny, and by the end of it I was just grinning and laughing, the internet humor broke trough my nerves and made me forget the fear. Tumblr is okay.

I was satisfied. I had been to the park, I wasn't stabbed, my bike was not damaged, and if I kept this up, I could be in the park and be safe by the means of obviously recording the bike. I can't do it at night time, as my webcam will not pick up a picture in the dark.

I'm not that spooked out anymore, I was freaked out when my bike was slashed the third time, and not even in the park. It is still scary that it's happening to me only, and I'm not targeted randomly among other people. And that it happened on a different location that nobody should have known I'd be on. If I catch the culprit it will take effort not to try and fight him immediately, because I am truly weak due to my impinged nerve and that guy has a sharp object. But he is a coward, destroying my stuff behind my back, never facing me and telling me what his problem is. I refuse to be scared of a coward with a sharp object.

[cheshire-castle-library]

hey! this is chance & here’s this week’s prompt. what websites or resources do you use while you write or develop a character/story? what do you think of them and would you recommend them?

Hello!! Been fighting a war of spoons this week, so sorry for the delay with this!

Honestly it would be magical if I had 1 single source I could rely on for writer's research, but Google is generally my starting point. After that here are the places I trust the information of:

Masterclass - there are a surprising number of articles and mini interviews for free written or influenced by the professional writers in the platform. One day I'll pay for the full service if only to hear Mr. Gaiman tell me his perspective on storytelling; but the free articles are really concise and informative for structure

Save the Cat Writes a Novel (its a book but there are references all over the internet to it as well) - definitely don't feel chained to what the method lays out!! But the nuances about what should happen in certain types of beats are a great push when you get stuck!!! But it's a really rigid beat sheet that probably won't 100% adhere to what you need it to be.

Behind the Name - actually discusses meanings and origins of cultural names!! This is a great way to get started or to help carve put a character who is a little too murky to write yet.

The Phrontistry - difficult to navigate on a time crunch since its not made for writers, but ctrl-f a key word helps. This place has lists and lists of DEAD WORDS!! Use it to name shit! Use it learn victorian and old english slang. Use it because you just like words. (By the way, a Phrontistry is "a place meant for thinking", so a Zen garden is a phrontistry!!)

My Uni Library Website - this is a privilege I know, but if you can get access to academic sources on arts and cultures it really changes the way you can respectfully draw inspiration from other cultures!!

4TheWords - this is the ADHD buster! Its down at the time I wrote this, but it's a website that gamifies writing so its not just a timer like in writing sprints, every word you type goes to "defeating a monster". You so quests like any mmo and I've legitimate written over 50k in under 30 days because brain goes into panic "it doesn't have to be good" mode and I can get stuff done! Its not totally free, but the micropurchases are actually micro snd you can earn time as well as buy it. They have to make ends meet so i can't be mad

Writer.bighugelabs.com - ive used this online typewriter for like 5+ years. Lifetime membership is 99$ and it goes to the one guy who made it keeping it running. It's got an offline mode and document history so just as long as you are careful and you preload the tab, you don't need data on your netbook/chromebook/ipad to write. It's no markdown, just words on page, it makes typewriter noises, and it looks like a dos command prompt. If you pay for it, you can customize colours, and ive used it for everything from timed exams to emails to novel chapters.

Obsidian.md - free program you can get as an app or on desktop that lets you make basically your own wiki. I've posted about it for my studies, but you can just make your own wiki about your novel, or choose to write directly into it. It supports markdown and latex-like formulae so I've literally written reports in it.

Also like,,,, don't be afraid to use the blogs of other writers! They have experience you could use. But I try to avoid posts that are "7 tips to write x y z" or "never do p q r when writing" because they just get in my head and are generally highly opinionated and are not objectively correct.

I do use, reblog, and strongly support resource and psa type posts though!! Some beautiful human has been making "ways to write [emotion]" posts on tumblr and that person I would like to kiss. They are useful information-based and example-based posts that are just like "and here are some oprions" instead of giving people who are already prone to second guessing themselves (writers) more things to fear cause them "should i even try, what if im cringe and everyone roasts my work" anxiety. ((If people are gonna roast your work, they will nitpick it apart regardless of whether you reinvented My Immortal or wrote the spiritual successor to This Is How You Lose The Time War, so like,,, please just write @me and everyone else who needs to hear that.))

I also advise at least skimming posts about demographics you are not in, especially the ones about how they want to be represented and how it's appropriate to include that in your narrative structure. If you are not in that demographic, you - by definition - cannot fully understand what it's like to be the people who are. Therefore you should to do some quality research and maybe be willing to ask questions of people to make sure you don't fall into stereotypes/virtue signaling/etc.

Finally, *inhales*: WIKIPEDIA!

Yes anyone can edit it, but you know who does??? Coffee riddled neurodivergent individuals with a passion for that one obscure thing you were shocked to find on Wikipedia.

Use the information as a primer, and then to to the sources and try to track down more specific and more "reliable" information. But Wikipedia is usually enough if you are like designing creatures and stuff like that. I don't need amphibious biology research to design an axolotl-like alien sentient lifeform.

That being said, I'm not going to stay limited to wikipedia when i go to learn about xolotl and the culture that named axolotls in order to make sure i don't just steal one animal and a naming convention but also pay some respect and homage to the spirit of the animal and related irl folklore. But finding relatable and first hand cultural sources is very case by case.

[therandomavenger]

2 Rules for Life

I know, I know. You hate rules. I hate rules too. Rules are stupid, can often be reductive, and are not to be trusted. But I have stumbled upon a set of rules that really helps focus me on how I want to show up in the world, how I behave and interact with people. So, maybe we shouldn’t think of these as rules, so much as principles we can follow to direct our thinking and our behavior. And I know a lot of people have shown up with long lists of rules for how you should live your life. One famous asshat who shall remain nameless has twelve of them he wrote a book about, but I only have two. Two! We can do two! Two is less than 12, and less than ten, and less than almost every other positive integer. So, what are these rules?

Work Hard

Be Kind.

That’s it! And I would like to say these were first popularized by some great philosopher. It would be nice if they were from the bible, or Shakespeare, or perhaps Ghandi or Mother Theresa. It also seems like the type of thing Maya Angelou might have said. When I first heard about these two rules, it was divorced from context, so I had high hopes when I looked for the source. So, who is this wise moral philosopher?

I am sorry to report that it was Conan O’Brien. Yes, that Conan O’Brien. At least it’s credited to him. Maybe he got them from his second-grade teacher or something, but when I googled this, his was the name attached to the quote. I don’t have anything against Conan O’Brien, but I was really hoping for Maya Angelou. But that’s ok! Wisdom can come from unlikely sources.

I want to write a bit about what these rules mean to me, because they seem simple, but their execution can be complex. ‘Work Hard’ for me does not mean you should work yourself to death. For me, working hard means, ‘Give your reasonable best effort to whatever it is you decide to accomplish.’ The word reasonable is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence, and what that means is open to interpretation. You should try your best to accomplish your goals. Simple, really. Now, choosing those goals in the first place could be the subject of another post (stay tuned!), but when you decide to do something, you should bring all the energy you have available to doing the best job possible. Within reason.

It also means you shouldn’t try so hard to do one particular thing that you burn yourself out and make yourself unable to handle your other responsibilities. Balance is the key here. Working hard, reasonably, preserves your energy and potential to accomplish more things. A disciplined half-ass accomplishes more over the course of a year than someone who flames out and then must be hospitalized. They’re happier doing it too.

Because that’s what these rules are really for, not to help us get things done, but to make us happier while we do them. I don’t know about you, but I am more satisfied at the end of the day if I have accomplished at least some of my goals. If I gave my reasonable best effort. That allows me to relax and not feel guilty. It allows me to feel that I’ve done something besides converting oxygen to carbon dioxide (as valuable as that is).

So, rule one, work hard. Sounds easy. Too easy. But it’s anything but.

Rule two, Be kind, at first glance seems like it should be the easier of the two. But it’s not. It’s not even close. By ‘Be kind’ I do not only mean ‘behave in a way that does not do intentional damage to other people.’ That’s part of it, but it’s not the whole thing. It also means, ‘extend the most generous interpretation to the people you find yourselves in conflict with.’ This is a nugget from Brene Brown. It does not mean ‘be a doormat.’ But it means to not automatically assume that everyone you are in conflict with is either an idiot or a bad actor. They could be! But don’t start from that assumption. Once again, this is not for them, but for you. You will be a happier person if you do not assume everyone else has bad intentions. There are legitimate reasons for conflict in many different areas (not talking about things like basic human rights here). All of us have a unique perspective that may not be obvious to whomever we’re dealing with. And vice versa. Seek to understand the other side, not just to win whatever battle you find yourself engaged in. This will make you a happier person. And you will win more people to your side if they feel like they are being listened to and understood. Except obvious bigots, because fuck those people!

You will also need to turn the awesome power of kindness toward yourself, which is actually the hardest part of this. If you don’t feel like doing something, don’t automatically assume you’re just being lazy. There might be legitimate reasons you need rest at that moment, or there might be something about the task that you find more troubling than seems reasonable. Perhaps your anxiety is being triggered, or you have some buried trauma that is under the surface. Extend a generous interpretation to yourself. There are very few people who are actually lazy. We all want to feel like we are productive and contributing, but there are also legitimate reasons to be lazy sometimes. Extend the same latitude you give others to yourself.

So, be kind to others, and be kind to yourself. Give yourself rest when you need to. Whenever possible, make sure your efforts are being turned toward things that are not only productive, but also meaningful in some way. Washing your own dishes may seem like nothing, but it’s a meaningful way you take care of yourself and the other people in your life. Very little we do is actually meaningless. Find ways to remind yourself of that meaning. And I know I’ve said this before, but rest is productive. You cannot continue to accomplish things if you burn yourself out.

So: Work Hard. Be Kind. Give your reasonable best effort to whatever you choose to do and extend a generous interpretation of the facts to other people as well as to yourself. I really am sorry that it came from Conan O’Brien, but when someone is right, they’re right, and we must give them credit.

[mariacallous]

Worshipers in a chapel at the University of Cambridge said they were left “in tears” after a research student claimed that Jesus’ side wound in Renaissance and Medieval paintings of the crucifixion can be likened to a vagina, suggesting Jesus could have been transgender.

At an evening service at Trinity College chapel last Sunday, Joshua Heath, a junior research fellow, displayed three paintings of the crucifixion, including Jean Malouel’s 1400 work Pietà and Henri Maccheroni’s 1990 work “Christs,” The Telegraph reported Saturday.

Heath, whose Ph.D. was supervised by the former Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, said during the service that Jesus’ side wound and blood flowing to the groin in Pietà looks like a vagina.

When Jesus was crucified and died on the cross before His Resurrection, John 19:34 says Roman soldiers broke the legs of the two men who were crucified alongside Him, but seeing that Jesus was already dead, one of the Roman soldiers decided not to break Jesus' legs but instead pierced His side with a spear, "and at once there came out blood and water." 

The Cambridge research student then referred to the 14th century Prayer Book of Bonne of Luxembourg, saying this side wound was isolated and “takes on a decidedly vaginal appearance.”

The British newspaper quoted one worshiper as saying Heath’s claims left them “in tears” and made them feel excluded from the church. And when many students complained, the dean of Trinity College, Michael Banner, called Heath’s views “legitimate.”

A congregation member wrote a complaint to Banner, saying: “I left the service in tears. You offered to speak with me afterwards, but I was too distressed. I am contemptuous of the idea that by cutting a hole in a man, through which he can be penetrated, he can become a woman.

“I am especially contemptuous of such imagery when it is applied to our Lord, from the pulpit, at Evensong. I am contemptuous of the notion that we should be invited to contemplate the martyrdom of a ‘trans Christ,’ a new heresy for our age.”

Last June, Christians were outraged by the decision of a Scottish teachers union, Education Institute of Scotland, to promote a play depicting Jesus Christ as trans in celebration of June, what LGBT activists call “pride month.”

The production was titled, “The Gospel According to Jesus Queen of Heaven.” “The play imagines a transgender Jesus coming back to the world today,” the play’s creator, Jo Clifford, told BBC News in a previous interview. 

Clifford, a man who identifies as female, added, “She has a communion, shares bread and wine with the audience, which is really a gesture of solidarity in the face of death, and she gives a blessing.”

In September 2020, the National Church of Iceland featured a bearded Jesus with breasts in an ad purportedly meant to encourage children to attend Sunday school.

The animated ad — part of a campaign costing about $14,800, which was contributed mostly by the bishop’s office — depicted Jesus as having breasts and jumping around as he points to a church. 

When the ad was shared on social media, one of the comments read, “There was a reason I left the National Church and found another Christian congregation.” Another read, “Shame on the bishop!” Some called it “tasteless” and “particularly stupid.” Another user wrote, “The church should be ashamed for humiliating Jesus like this.”

[roomeight]

Graham Coxon, Parental Alienation Syndrome, and Mens’ Rights Activists

Source: Down the rabbit hole (the world of estranged parents' forums)

Screenshots of parental alienation tweets Graham liked on twitter in the past year (since Britpopabuse allegations came out)

Additional screenshots (tumblr has a max I can post)

Thank you to a friend for keeping detailed record of these likes and screenshotting.

Please note Graham started liking these tweets around the time of the allegations from Britpopabuse came out (Nov 2021). He stopped tweeting for many months following Britpopabuse allegations and only liked tweets from - mostly - the narcissistic abuse account. It should be noted that Graham is aware that many fans check his liked tweets regularly and have for many years… So it is not out of pocket to mention that this is a way for him to communicate passive aggressively.

Mommy Hates Daddy, and You Should Too

The extraordinary fight over “parental alienation syndrome” and what it means for divorce cases.

"Much of the blame for the biased history of PAS can be laid at the feet of its originator, Dr. Richard Gardner, who developed the theory—from his own practice and without clinical studies—of mothers who foster hatred for their children’s father as a ”powerful weapon” to grab custody for themselves. This wasn’t a theory born of objective empirical observation. It was a campaign against mothers rooted in the idea that they regularly lie and then “brainwash” their children into lying about paternal abuse. Because of Gardner’s gender-freighted conclusions, it was probably inevitable that men, in the form of fathers’ rights groups, would seize upon the battle to legitimize PAS. One of its most famous spokesmen became Alec Baldwin, who wrote practically a whole book on the subject in 2008, arguing paradoxically that corrupt judges and the courts have too much power over custody disputes and that by recognizing PAS, the courts could make the whole child-custody process more fair. (Here is Baldwin describing PAS as something women mainly do to men.)"

Supporters of PAS argue largely from personal experience, and their stories are often compelling. But the theory of PAS is not recognized as valid by the American Psychological Association, the American Psychiatric Association, or the American Medical Association. And the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges has published guidelines for custody courts clarifying that “the theory positing the existence of ‘PAS’ has been discredited by the scientific community. Any testimony that a party to a custody case suffers from the syndrome or ‘parental alienation’ should therefore be ruled inadmissible and/or stricken from the evaluation report.

Even without a scientific basis, parental alienation, like climate denialism, has its own language, passions, and saliency. Right or wrong, recognized or not, most family courts now take PAS extremely seriously. Experts testify, court-appointed advocates offer diagnoses, and family-court judges regularly adopt alienation explanations as a way of rejecting abuse allegations. As Meier wrote in a 2009 article: “Despite the palpably extreme and unbalanced quality of both the PAS theory and the thinking of its author, as well as the lack of scientific basis, the theory has for over a decade become virtually ubiquitous in family courts.”

The science just doesn’t matter now. Even though no appellate court has found evidence of PAS to meet the scientific standards for legal admissibility, courts admit evidence of precisely the same phenomenon all the time, and by calling it “parental alienation,” they achieve the same effect: overlooking allegations of abuse by one parent in order to blame the other for “alienating” the child. In other words, whether science supports them or the DSM-5 ultimately validates them, the supporters of Richard Gardner and parental alienation may have already won. While nobody was looking, a mythical legal argument known as parental alienation may have already taken over family courts.”

Source: Slate: Mommy hates daddy and you should too

[my-darling-boy]

Genuinely asking, isn't self-diagnose with a condition kind of dangerous? Because legitimizing self-diagnosing opens a door to many malicious people who would want to exploit the fact they can self-diagnose? And in turn, make the space of autistic people worse?

Was going to skip this, but I’m writing a LONG response because I’m VERY exhausted with the amount of misinformation I see on this “self dx is dangerous” take, so buckle up and allow me to info dump.

Recently, authentic_autism_advocacy, an Instagram account run by a supposed medically diagnosed autistic woman was discovered to be a non-autistic woman, Connie Manning, posing as a medically diagnosed autistic person to spread hate and anti-self diagnosing speech. In reality, she is a neurotypical mother who regularly uses her autistic son for clout; she also turned out to have a hand behind CalmWear, a brand of sensory compression products designed for disabled people. Not only had she been spewing hatred towards other autistic people, she had been accusing well known AFAB autistic tiktokers like beckspectrum of faking being autistic and threatening self diagnosed autistics and saying they are a danger to the community, and engaging in other incredibly discriminating behaviour. Yes, she herself was a neurotypical person posing as a medically diagnosed autistic to perpetuate hateful rhetoric about self diagnosed people and used her voice to speak OVER autistic folk for financial gain and exploitation of autistic people, including her own son. If you want to read this roller coaster of a story, an autistic person wrote an entire article on it with tons of screenshots and sources.

So let me make one thing clear to you.

The purpose of actually, genuinely self diagnosing is not done to attract attention or to parade around and exploit other autistic people. Self diagnosed autistic individuals have recognised due to difficult life circumstances, financial hardship, bigotry and stigma within the medical/legal world, being a minor, lack of insurance, lack of proper access to safe care facilities, being denied assessment due to incompetent or biased practitioners, and/or any other obstacle that they may temporarily or permanently be barred from diagnosis. Self diagnosis does NOT instantly mean a person is posing for clout, nor does it indicate a person is trying to wring money from assistance services or exploit other autistics. And nts who use self diagnose with intentions of harming the community? That’s NOT self diagnosis, that’s abuse of something meant to aid people blocked from medical care or financial means to that care. All we can do for autistic people, no matter who we perceive them to be, is treat them the same way we would any other autistic person. Because the moment you start deciding by your own book who deserves respect and who doesn’t, you’ll be on a slippery slope to locking out thousands of autistic people from the community. If it’s discovered a person like Connie is literally abusing the system of self dx to intentionally mislead the community, by all means, we must hold them accountable. But you cannot simply go about granting and revoking access from people just because someone lacks a diagnosis or doesn’t fit your idea of what being autistic looks like, especially if it’s based on stereotypes.

Moral of the story? Isn’t it ironic how anti-self dx people will 100% believe a user who claims to be medically diagnosed but shows no “written proof” of it, yet always demand written proof from a self dx person? It’s almost like even anti-self dx people can’t tell the difference between someone who is medically diagnosed autistic and someone who isn’t. Well, that’s because they can’t. While there might be common traits, autism has no set model, it is a spectrum, no autistic person is alike; Policing self diagnosed people about their self diagnosis isn’t a form of protecting the community. It’s a form of gatekeeping. If you find yourself granting instant acceptance, without asking for proof, to a person insisting they are medically diagnosed like this neurotyical mother, but then prohibit self dx people from entry entirely on the grounds of not showing proof of medical assessment, you are upholding a double standard. This is why policing autistic people’s diagnosis, self or not, is inherently useless.

So here’s the thing... instead of asking people to stop self diagnosing, what you should instead be asking yourself is, “Why do people self diagnose? What kind of medical system could possibly be in place where people feel they need to resort to self diagnosis rather than get an actual diagnosis?”

Well, it’s mainly common knowledge among most of the autistic community that diagnosis is NOT easy to come by.

One of the main reasons why people cannot get a diagnosis is due to financial/insurance reasons. It’s reasonable to estimate that by the end of 2020 almost 30 million Americans alone were without health insurance. I’ve heard costs out of pocket for an autism diagnosis are between $500-$6000. If a person or a family cannot afford health insurance—which by the way on average is around $5,400 a year for a single person and $13,800 for a family here—where are they supposed to pull out $6,000 to get screened?

You might be asking, “Well aren’t insurances supposed to cover disability?” Sure, there are options for disability care through health insurance—not even going to get into that—but like a lot of things in the US, this is a severely flawed system. A lot of private health insurance will stop or limit coverage for an autism diagnosis or assistance services once a person reaches 18 to 21 years old. In most states, coverage has a higher chance of being denied to autistic adults coming with the added age cap or ONLY covering ABA, an abusive, manipulative “therapy” used to force social compliance and trait suppression on autistic people. The fact that ABA, a conversion therapy, is covered, but little else, shows exactly what insurance companies think of autistic people: they’ll only cover us if we want to learn to be “normal”. This can leave many undiagnosed autistic adults who cannot afford analysis, insurance, or safe assistance services with nowhere to turn. If I was not on my parents’ insurance, there is NO WAY I would EVER be able to afford a diagnosis. I don’t have $2,000 lying around. The MONEY ALONE would prohibit me from getting a diagnosis, no matter how many autistic traits I presented.

When I was going through this system years ago to start a diagnosis, I was shocked to find no therapist within three hours of me was accepting adult patients. “Up to 18 only” their websites would say. And in the event I had found one (1) that accepted me as a then 20 year old with X insurance, and that person refused me diagnosis, I would be out of options unless I planned a 5 hour drive which may have also led me to another biased screener. A person seeking self financed assessment can waste thousands of dollars therapist hopping.

People will say, “Well I live in X place, and where I come from, it’s covered!” Well the reality is that everyone in the world does not live where you live. It’s not realistic to assume everyone is in the same position as you or your family to afford care or access the same resources as you. When you say, “Just go out and get a diagnosis! It’s not that hard!”, understand you are speaking from your personal vantage point where screening may be easily accessed or easily covered/is free OR you have no personal knowledge of what that process is like yourself.

The second thing that bars a ton of people from being diagnosed is the fact that when autism was first discovered, its research was HEAVILY centered on white, cis, heterosexual men. The idea that autistic people are ONLY cis, white, heterosexual men carries on to this day. If you are an outlier to this stereotype, your chances of being misdiagnosed with something else or refused diagnosis skyrocket because so-called “professionals” don’t know how to observe traits in any other person besides a cis, white, heterosexual man, and refuse/fail to recognise the endless ways in which a person can be autistic. ALL the time I hear how AFAB people will go in to get screened only to find out their screener does not believe AFAB people can be autistic, because yes, sexism and anti-lgbtq+ ideas play a huge role in the incredibly outdated diagnostic process, because autism is still believed to be an “AMAB only” thing. People report going into a therapists office and being asked questions like, “Do you like going outside? Do you like having friends?” and being told that if you agree with either of these, you cannot be autistic because criteria at some places is so backwards, you can’t even say you enjoy conversation without failing the test. Other things commonly heard during the analysis are screeners telling someone they are too smart/articulate to be autistic, gas lighting them by saying they are mistaking their symptoms for something else/making them up, telling a person they seem normal, dismissing clear autistic traits by saying they’re unique “superpowers”, or intentionally misdiagnosing a person as ADHD INSTEAD of autistic. People on social media have also pointed out what influences racism has on the diagnostic process as well and how lack of research and understanding of autistic POC contributes to under-diagnosis and stigma has only contributed to refusal of care and under-representation of POC in the disabled community, as one autistic Black woman points out on Instagram, “I found excellent articles that support and validate my feelings and experiences, but I could find no research on autistic Black people.” Additionally, because research has primarily been done on young men, this means anyone who is not a cis man and is over the age of 18 and is seeking a diagnosis has a much higher chance of not receiving one because screeners don’t understand how autistic traits may present differently in adults, especially since adults are very likely to mask. Some autism screeners are so against autism they have told clients they would only diagnosis a person autistic if it was their last resort to avoid “placing a burden on their shoulders”. These reasons are largely responsible for why autism is incredibly mis/under-diagnosed. This ask would be the length of a novel if I included every single type of discrimination and mistreatment during the evaluation process alone, but understand it can be incredibly biased, sexist, transphobic, racist, or just flat out ableist. And guess what? Though this process can take as little as a month to get sorted, that is rare. The assessment SHOULD be very short. But a lot of autistic people have reported their diagnosis took more than 2-4 years because of having to waste time, energy, and money hopping from therapist to therapist looking for someone to take them seriously, as many autistic people compiled on the actuallyautistictiktoks page on Instagram point out.

The last thing I want to touch on is this idea that people have that self diagnosing is dangerous. “What if someone self diagnoses and they take advantage of services that are meant for autistic people?” ...The Big Things you think I am going to take advantage of as a self diagnosed autistic person, like scholarship money for instance or SSDI, I do not have legal access to without a formal diagnosis. I cannot waltz into a law firm and ask for a $5,000 scholarship for autistic people without a diagnosis, because they WILL NOT give it to me!

Let me tell you some of things I’ve “cruelly taken advantage of” as a self diagnosed autistic person. I bought glasses with blue light protection, because screen and fluorescent lighting at work and even natural blue toned light from the sky lowers my threshold for some sensory input like noise and social interaction; wearing them to work everyday has improved my sensory thresholds incredibly. I’ve talked to my manager and told him I’m autistic and that I have a hard time understanding vague direction and may need to step away briefly on occasion to tend to a shutdown before a meltdown comes on at work; he had no problem with this. I use subtitles; sometimes I have trouble processing audio or reading facial expressions and tone, and being able to see the words displayed on the screen gives me a significantly better understanding of what I watch. All my life, I have been having meltdowns which I had mistaken for mental breakdowns or panic attacks and having access to resources that walked me through preventative methods and tips on what to do if I have one has been ENORMOUSLY helpful to me. All my life, I was trying to deal with them thinking they were something else; becoming aware of this and accepting that they are in fact autistic meltdowns has helped me not only go through them, but has helped me redirect stims which at their worst previously had me hitting and clawing my arms, slapping my face, and even hitting my head. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wait 4 years for a diagnosis to use resources I could be using to make my life more accessible right now!

People will say, “Oh well yeah, I don’t mean You are one of Those Types of self diagnosed autistic people, you clearly sound/look autistic, I’m talking about other people.” The thing is, there is no broad “sounding/looking autistic”, that’s stereotyping, and you can’t demand everyone who interacts with you show you their Autistic Card, because again, not everyone is able to be diagnosed, especially given the mistreatment and stigma present towards autistic people in the medical field! And what made you ask for their diagnosis? Because they “don’t seem autistic” to you? Why didn’t you ask for their diagnosis? Because they “seemed autistic” to you? By denying anyone who doesn’t have a diagnosis resources they may very well need, you are denying assistance to thousands of people who are without means to be diagnosed. And I am SO tired of seeing comments online on self diagnosis posts that “people don’t know what they’re taking about” as if they know us personally, like are you me? Are you my doctor I’ve consulted? Did you watch me academically research and consult with other autistic people about being autistic for over 3 years? I’m tired of “well, one time a self diagnosed person laughed at my actually autistic diagnosed friend...so all self dx people are evil” because there is ZERO correlation between a person being self assessed and their behavior towards a non self assessed person. The fact both those arguments are in use whenever self dx comes up is yet another form of gatekeeping.

Self diagnosing autism is not begging for attention or Evil Criminal Money Funneling Schemes. It is a result of a deeply flawed medical and insurance system that has failed to give proper attention and care to those who need it, it is a result of resources not made available, of safe support systems not there for kids and adults alike. You want to talk about what’s truly dangerous? How the hate group Autism Speaks has been parading itself around since 2005 as an advocacy group for autistic people and has been misusing millions of dollars worth of donation money and promoting stigma and hatred around autistic people; no autistic members are present on their board. How Sia and her new film Music was nominated for 2 Golden Globes despite it replacing the original autistic actor with a neurotypical actor, using offensive stereotypes, and using the main autistic character as a prop, and featured an extremely dangerous bodily restraint scene on an autistic person having a meltdown in public and featured very insensitive content due to Sia’s lack of consulting with autistic people to make the film (spoilers in that article).

Instead of policing autistic people, whether they fit your idea of what an autistic person is or not, redirect your efforts and your energy to dismantling systems and holding others accountable for perpetuating harmful stereotypes about autistic people that are legitimately dangerous on such a scale that they have created insurmountable damage to the autistic community. But I guarantee you, worrying over whether your classmate is “faking it” will not do any justice to the decades worth of discrimination autistic people face still today.

I understand. You care about the community, you don’t want autistic people to be exploited or taken advantage of. I don’t want to be exploited and taken advantage of as an autistic person, and I don’t want that for others! But I also understand that when we self proclaim ourselves as judges of random autistic strangers on the internet or start accusing people of faking or demanding to see medical paperwork from people when the basis of our suspicions is “this person doesn’t look like my stereotyped view on how I think an autistic person should act”, THAT is when you really run into trouble. Because if you are allowed to deny self dx people entrance into the autistic community, what’s stopping you from thinking you have the power to deny ANYONE entrance into that community?

And there is power in self diagnosis for many autistic people. When the evaluation system is literally rigged to set you up for failure and put you through unnecessary hardship, self dx is a self affirming, empowering tool to take back control from a process designed to gaslight and crush you. The evaluation process was NOT formulated by an autistic person, nor was it made to be inclusive of all autistic people. Until the evaluation system in place for autistic people is safe, accessible, and free to ALL, you have EVERY right to self diagnose.

[kbnet]

Some other things I tried:

>some of my anime writeups on here

There is only one thing worse than having a neural network misunderstand your own opinions in ways that make them infinitely dumber and then try to parrot them back to you. I have never wanted any human podcasters to shut up more.

>my college memoirs

This is the thing that is worse. Having a neural network hallucinate things about your own life and personality is worse. You'd think it'd be hilarious but it gets very old, very fast.

>short story I wrote in freshman year of college

Actually got it pretty much right! Perfectly average book report that only hallucinated one or two tiny details! Didn't catch the subtle Evangelion influence so no extra points.

>my KyoAni panel script

Thought the diasporas are way more important than they were. Claimed Naoko Yamada directed Eizouken. The only legitimately useful experiment because it gave me the perspective of how somebody too eager to apply their own background knowledge might misunderstand it

>disorganized setting notes from a TTRPG I never ran

Got almost every fact wrong, but one of the facts it hallucinated gave me an idea, so…a point to NotebookLM I guess?

>some Japanese language documents about anime production

lol

Well, at least it understands the material! I checked and apparently in neither the satsuma guide or AJA guide does it talk at any length about genzu, so this is the most reasonable answer it could've given.

re: last reblog, I fed NotebookLM The Eye of Argon and oh my god it's so perfectly banal. The two blandest, middest of wits are here to tell us about Jim Theis' classic time capsule of mid 20th century fantasy and all its fine sensory description! I can't believe how absurd it is.

-but I am impressed that it actually managed to extract some semblance of the plot from underneath Theis' malapropisms and wandering trains of thought, which is more than I managed sometimes on my first reading!

[odaclan]

Hello! About your post on Nobunaga faking illness weird info, I never read Lander's work but your post reminded me of a passage of Luis Frois's Historia de Japam. 

In the digital edition provided by the National Library of Portugal,  chapter 83, page 240, Frois wrote about how the arrogant Nobunaga couldn't tolerate that his older brother had priority over their deceased father's inheritance, so he pretended to be ill and complained to his mother for days that his brother didn't  pay him a visit. When his older brother finally came to see him, and got distracted checking his left hand pulse at his request, Nobunaga killed him on the spot with a concealed dagger. 

After that he took control of the household and won a war against another feudal lord that had possession of one third of Owari's territory, finally becoming the absolute Lord of Owari. 

The weird thing about Frois's account is that the briefly mentioned "another lord with possession of one third of the territory" refers to Kanjuuro, while "Nobunaga's older brother" for whom he feigned illness refers to Nobuhiro. However, as a concubine's child, Nobuhiro had no priority over the legitimate Nobunaga, nor was he executed by Nobunaga, actually dying in the Battle of Nagashima many years later (It's also pointed out in the book's footnotes). One can only conclude that since Father Luis Frois had no familiarity with local political affairs, he unintentionally mixed up real information with rumors he misheard here and there.

I don't know if it will be of help for you, and the only version of Historia de Japam I have access to is Google Books' sample of the Portuguese edition, but those two anecdotes hold many similarities. Maybe Mr. Lamer was referring to this record in his book and misquoted it as Shinchoukouki's?

Thank you very much for the info! This is very helpful!

Lamers does reference Luis Frois's writing a lot in his book too, so maybe he has been reading two text together and forgot which one came from where when writing his book. I sometimes do that too here, like referencing wrong source or getting dates wrong.

The rest of the story that Lamers narrated about Shibata Katsuie reporting of Kanjuurou's rebellion is correctly attributed to Shinchoukouki. It's just that one short segment about Nobunaga complaining to his mother that was out of place/wrong.

You also solved another mystery I have been wondering about. In one of Stephen Turnbull's books (or, at least I think it is, since I don’t remember which book it was anymore), he had written something along the lines of Nobuhiro being the prioritized heir over Nobunaga due to being older, and I could not for the life of me figure out where is this story coming from. So it's the Historia de Japam after all.

Though, I think “another lord with possession of one third of the territory" is actually the more higher-ranked Oda branches. It’s possibly the Yamato no Kami branch who originally owned Kiyosu Castle, the deputy-governors of Owari, not Kanjuurou. The story seems to be a bit mixed up too here, since Nobunaga conquered the Kiyosu clan before he killed his brother, but he didn’t take control of Owari until after Kanjuurou’s death. 

Writings from Luis Frois and the other Europeans is a resource that I wish I have. Even if they're flawed, it's still useful to some degree. I was aware that the Biblioteca Nacional de Portugal has them, but I don't speak or read Portuguese.

Still, do you mind sending the Google Book link? Even if I can't read myself, maybe I can find someone who can help me with it.

[fiveisnumber1]

Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader

Word Count: 3431

Warnings: None

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23

_________________________

Pt 9 - Birthday Cash (part 2)

"Our world is changing. Has changed. There are some among us gifted with abilities far beyond the ordinary. I have adopted six such children. I give you the inaugural class of the Umbrella Academy." Reginald Hargreeves announces on the stairs of the bank

The six children stand behind him in two orderly rows of three as he addresses the reporters who were at the scene.

"Mr. Hargreeves, channel 9 news. What happened to their parents?" One reporter asks

"They were suitably compensated," Reginald responds

"Are you concerned about the welfare of the children?" Another reporter questions

"Of course, as I am for the fate of the world."

The cameras keep rolling and the reporters continue to ask question but Mr. Hargreeves had said what needed to be said. Quietly, he walks down the steps of the bank and the children follow behind to make their way back home. When the children arrive back home they line up in the front hall just as they had done before leaving. Reginald turns his attention to them and comments,

"You were able to stop these criminals, but you can be quicker and more efficient. With more practice and more missions, you'll possibly be able to bring your performance up from your mediocre level to something more impressive."

Reginald then turns around and leaves the children to go to his office. When he is out of earshot the children start to talk with each other.

"I got covered in blood, on my birthday, to be called mediocre," Ben complains

"We all just got call mediocre on our birthday, Ben," Allison responds

"Yeah, but at least you didn't get a criminal blood facial," Ben replies "I'm going to take a shower."

Ben then walks away from his siblings, heading to the bathroom hoping that he can get all the leftover blood off him. Luther takes a look at Ben walking away before turning back to the remaining Hargreeves children and saying,

"There's no need for us to get hung up on that mediocre thing, he didn't mean it. I mean you heard what dad said with more practice and missions we'll become better. It's like tough encouragement."

"I think there is something off with your hearing because I'm pretty sure that's not what he meant,"  Diego replies

'Well as number 1 I think I would know what dad means." Luther remarks

"You might be number one but least I don't have my head so far up my butt that I can't see when I'm being insulted." Diego retorts

Noticing that they were about to fight, Klaus puts himself in between his two brothers and pushes them apart from each other.

"Listen, guys, it's still our birthday! The day isn't over yet and remember (Y/N) is going to come over later!" Klaus exclaims "This may or may not be the day some of you had hoped for but it's going to get better! Now, how about we just all try to be nice for the day?"

Diego and Luther look at each other before nodding in agreement. With the potential argument resolved the children decide to head their separate ways and try to occupy themselves for the day until you arrived.

You on the other hand had been busy at home since you and your family got back from the bank. The first thing your parents did was to make you take a shower to get all the blood off of you. Your parents were absolutely shell shocked from the whole experience and you covered in another person's blood was not helping to make it any better. Once you were clean and had put on a different pair of clothes your mother immediately threw out the ones you had been in. When you came downstairs you saw both of your parents in the kitchen. Approaching them you say,

"Are you two going to be okay?"

"Uh, yeah sweetie we'll be fine. We just need to get some rest." Your dad says a glass of wine in his hand

"Is that to help you rest dad?" You ask gesturing to the glass

"Yes." He replies curtly

Your mom escorts your dad towards the stairs but before the two of them can walk upstairs to their room you ask,

"Hey mom, dad, do you think I can go to a friend's house for the night? They live down the block and they wanted to celebrate my birthday with me."

Your two parents look at each other and then back at you.

"Yeah, of course, sweetie, just let us know when you're leaving." Your mom says

"Okay!" you reply

Your mother and father then make their way up the stairs to their room. As soon as you hear the door close you go downstairs to the practice room that they had built for you. In there you had been hiding the gifts that you had gotten for all of the Hargreeves kids. You had heard from Five that they had never gotten presents on their birthday before and you wanted to change that. You had used the allowance money you had saved up over the months to get them gifts that they would enjoy. You knew they would probably like anything you got them but you wanted to make sure that each gift was extra special. Taking your time you wrapped each individual one and wrote a special note to each of the kids. You had finished all the gifts for each Hargreeves sibling except for the one that mattered most to you, Five. For the longest time you had no clue what to get him but this morning you were given the perfect gift. Realizing that you hadn't brought it down with you from your room you head back upstairs to go get it. As you pass your parents room you can hear them talking,

"How did she know how to do that?" Your dad asks

"Her powers?" Your mom asks back

"No, the kicking the man and stabbing him. Where could she have learned that?" He replies

"I don't know, but I don't think she meant it with malintent. She was trying to protect herself and us." Your mom says

"I know. I just, it was surprising. We never see her practice her powers so I guess I wasn't really ready to see the full extent of them in action." Your dad says defeat in his tone

"I get it, but she's still ours. Let's just get some rest and hopefully, things will feel back to normal soon." Your mom replies

Slowly you make your way to your room. We're your parents upset with you? Did they not like your powers? It's not like you could get rid of them even if you tired. They were just part of you. Confronting your parents isn't going to make things better so you decide to ignore it for now, no matter how much it weighed on your mind. Today was your day and you were going to make the best of it with your friends. Heading over to your desk you grab the two lockets that are used to unlock the diary replica that you got and a recent picture of yourself. Running back downstairs you cut out your head from the recent picture of you and put it in one of the lockets. You then put that locket in a tiny box and wrap it up with a nice ribbon. You then put the other locket on but hide it under your shirt so I can't be seen. With all the presents wrapped up, you bring them upstairs and shout to your parents,

"I'm heading out!"

You don't hear a reply and assume that the two of them have fallen asleep after the events of the morning and early afternoon. Grabbing all the gifts you make your way across the street through the gate and use your foot to knock on the front door. Typically you would just phase through to let yourself in but you were holding too many bags to phase yourself and everything else properly. When the door opened Grace was standing there and said,

"Oh hello (Y/N)! Happy birthday!"

"Thank you!" You reply with a wide grin as you entered the house

Grace then calls out to the children and says,

"Children, (Y/N) is here!"

Within seconds you can hear the rushing of footsteps coming from all sides of the house. Five is the first one there as he flashes in front of you rather than run like everyone else but the rest of the siblings arrive soon after. They all greet you excitedly and everyone exchanges happy birthday wishes.

"Are those presents?" Grace asks

"Yup, I got stuff for each one of you." You reply looking towards the seven siblings

"Wow! We actually get presents this year! Best birthday ever!" Luther exclaims

"Well, why don't we all make our way into the parlor and everyone can open their gifts." Grace directs

You and the Hargreeves children make your way into the parlor and all take a seat on different couches. You walk around handing out the presents to each one of the siblings except for Five. You wanted that one to be a surprise. When you finish you sit back down next to Five who looks at you confused. Quietly you whisper,

"Don't worry, you'll get yours later."

Five nods and turns his head back towards all his siblings who are quickly ripping the paper off their gifts. Excitedly you watch as the kids one by one open up their gifts from you. You watched the eyes of each sibling light up at the sight of what you had gotten them. Each gift for them contained a surface level present and then one that was more personal.

For Luther, you had gotten him a book about positive leadership but also a phone number for a local jewelry store. Although it was still a bit confusing, he had legitimate feelings for Allison and he had confided that he wanted to give her something special to show his feelings. What better to get someone than a piece of jewelry.

For Allison, you had gotten her Avril Lavigne's Let Go album and the red lip gloss that Alicia Keys was sporting recently but also a cast signed copy of the My Big Fat Greek Wedding movie script. Deep down Allison didn't want to be a superhero she wanted to be an actress and you wanted to show her that you believed she could get there.

For Klaus, you got him an ouija board because he was always saying how he wished he could get used to his power by making it fun but you also had gotten him some nail polish. You always took notice of how he eyed the nail polish in Allison's room with a longing look in his eyes. More important than becoming more comfortable with his powers you wanted him to be able to become more comfortable with himself.

For Vanya, you had given her a folder of sheet music for the violin and some pieces to duet you on the piano. You had also gifted her a miniature trophy in the shape of a number one inscribed with the words "Your individuality is more special than any power". Vanya had always felt like the rejected child of the bunch since she didn't have any powers but you knew otherwise. Vanya might not have had powers but nonetheless she was worth appreciation and you wanted to show her that.

For Ben, you only got him one gift. You had gotten Ben a journal to write in. If his siblings actually took the time to sit and listen to him they would realize how calm and poetic his thoughts were. He was a kind soul with a lot of wonderful thoughts to express and you knew that. What made the journal more personal though was the quote you had written on the inside. "May the darkness within you find peace in the light". He was uncomfortable with the power he had. It was such a polar opposite to who he was as a person and he sometimes questioned why he had to be born with such darkness inside of him. You knew that but you wanted to reassure him that he was more than his power and hoped that by writing his feelings down in the journal he could find his peace in the light of his true existence.

And then there was Diego. For Diego, you had gotten him a brand new set of knives. You watched as he opened the case and saw the shiny set inside. They were completely silver in color with a line of holes going down the center. You saw him lift one of them up and admire it.

"They're extremely light so there's less air resistance when you redirect them. They're also more durable. Even I can't manipulate them...yet." You explain to him

You saw Diego look down in the case again and then back up at you. A smile was on his face but you could see the beginnings of tears in his eyes.

"They're just knives Diego, no need to get emotional," Luther comments

It wasn't the knives he was getting emotional at though. Inside the case was also a pronunciation dictionary.  You knew there would be times where Grace or you weren't there to help him but you wanted to make sure that he never felt alone when it came to his stutter. Five was your best friend that you adored out of the Hargreeves siblings but Diego had become the only one who felt like a true sibling to you. Sure, all of the members of the Hargreeves family became like family to you, minus Reginald, but when it came to Diego he was your brother. With this pronunciation dictionary, you wanted to show him that you were his sister and you'd be there to support him even if you couldn't physically be present with him. Each of the siblings then thanks you for their presents. Their thank yous though were stated in such a way that it acknowledged the basic gifts everyone knew about but also expressed their gratitude for the more personal ones they received.

"Thank you, I think this gift will really help me," Luther says

"I can't believe you remembered how much this meant to me!" Allison exclaims

"This is really going to help me learn more about myself." Klaus comments

"I'm going to appreciate my gift forever." Vanya states

"The words in this journal will always mean a lot." Ben acknowledges

"I'll always keep this with me..." Diego whispered emotion still prevalent in his voice

The 6 siblings then got up with their gifts and made their way to their rooms to put them away. When the siblings had left Five asks,

"Want to go sit in the courtyard?"

"Sure!" You reply

The two of you race out to the courtyard and you two down on a bench. It was the exact same bench he had pushed you over the first day you met. Five turns to look at you and says,

"That stuff you did at the bank today was really impressive. Kebobing that man on the flagpole was really smart."

"Thanks but I think you were more impressive. Switching the gun with a stapler, now that's some quick thinking." You comment

The two of you smile and laugh for a bit at each other's praise, each of you thinking it wasn't as impressive as the other was making it out to be. Soon enough though a silence falls between you.

"Hey (Y/N)?" Five says

"Yeah?" You reply

"Thank you for saving me earlier today. None of saw the guy coming. If it wasn't for you, I don't know what would've happened. I do have to ask though how did you blow that guy's head clean off."

"I don't know. I had no time to think about it, I just knew I had to stop the man from harming you." You explain

Another silence falls over the two of you. Five knew that you had saved his life and he could barely find the words to thank you for it. If something went wrong on your end you could've gotten hurt and yet you risked your life anyway to save him. He was glad everything went right but he could help but worry about the possibility of you getting hurt or killed. He didn't know what he would do without you. You were more than he could ever want and need in a best friend and the thought that he could've lost you floated around in his mind. Five is pulled out of his thoughts though when you say,

"Oh here's your birthday gift."

You pull a tiny box with a ribbon out of your pocket and hand it to him. Carefully he undoes the ribbon and opens the box. Inside he sees a heart-shaped locket.

"Let me explain the gift really quickly. So you recall the princess diaries movie that I've made you watch so many times?"

"Yes." Five responds

"And you remember the diary from it right?"

"How could I not you always talked about how cool it is." He jokes

"Well, my parents got me an exact replica of the diary and it has the same unlocking mechanism where you have to use the locket to open the diary. So I want you to have this since you're the only other person I trust other than myself to have access to it." You explain

"(Y/N) this is such an honor, but how will you open it if I'm not with you?" Five questions

"That's the other part." You say pulling the locket you were wearing already out from under your shirt "My parents gave me two so now we can match."

Taking his locket out of the box he opened it up and saw a picture of you inside it. Five truly loved his gift from you and put it on around his neck. Now he could keep you with him wherever he went.

"Can I give you your gift now?" He asks

"My gift? You got something for me?" you question

"Of course, it's your birthday too after all." He replies

"My gift isn't you pushing me of the bench again is it?" You joke

"No, it's not," Five laughs before saying, "Just wait here."

Five then flashes away but comes back a moment later holding a tiny gift bag in his hands. Holding the gift bag out he says,

"This is for you."

Five sits down next to you as you carefully take the tissue paper out of the bag. Reaching in your hand you pull out a beautiful music box. Opening it a tiny figure of two people dancing spins around as the music plays.

"I saw it and it reminded me of that time we danced together and I hoped it would remind you too." He comments

"Five, it's so beautiful. Thank you!" You say placing the gift gently back down in its bag

When you know the music is safe in the bag you place the bag on the ground and then proceed to hug him. You cherished the gift he had gotten you but more so you cherished him. Five hugs you back for a moment but then pulls back. He looks directly into your eyes as you look back into his blue ones. You could not tell who started first both of you start to lean into each other a bit. Before you two could get close though you can hear Luther exclaim excitedly from the doorway.

"Hey, guys! Grace was allowed to make us a cake this year! Come get some before it's gone!"

The two of you quickly pull away from each other.

"Uh, let's go get some cake." Five suggests

"Yeah, let's do it." You say grabbing your gift bag from him

The two of you head inside to the kitchen where everyone is waiting around the table to eat cake. Grace places eight candles on the cake for each one of you to blow out. As the cake was dished out you thought about how much you enjoyed getting to celebrate with all of the Hargreeves kids, especially Five. You didn't know it then but it would be the first and last time you would all celebrate together for a while because one argument would change the course of all of your lives.

Taglist: @xplrreylo @joebob15274 @insatiable-ivy @fruitsaladtree @angelpeachamber @academy-umbrella @lizziel1410 @ir3neeee @faith-quake @aliens-with-colas @eddiomyspaghettio @lady-celeste25 @im-dead-and-hurting @nerdypinupcrystal @cherry-ki-d @anapocalypseinmymind @vicassa @2cuteforyourlies

[mojave-pete]

COLLUSION

COLLUSION How The Obama Administration Set In Motion Democrats’ Coup Against Trump Rep. Devin Nunes realized the purpose of Obama’s dossier. 'Devin figured out in December what was going on,' says Langer. 'It was an operation to bring down Trump.' By Lee Smith OCTOBER 28, 2019 The following is an excerpt from Lee Smith’s book out October 29, “The Plot Against the President: The True Story of How Congressman Devin Nunes Uncovered the Biggest Political Scandal in U.S. History.”

AFTER DONALD TRUMP was elected forty-fifth president of the United States, the operation designed to undermine his campaign transformed. It became an instrument to bring down the commander in chief. The coup started almost immediately after the polls closed.

Hillary Clinton’s communications team decided within twenty-four hours of her concession speech to message that the election was illegitimate, that Russia had interfered to help Trump.

Obama was working against Trump until the hour he left office. His national security advisor, Susan Rice, commemorated it with an email to herself on January 20, moments before Trump’s inauguration. She wrote to memorialize a meeting in the White House two weeks before.

On January 5, following a briefing by IC leadership on Russian hacking during the 2016 Presidential election, President Obama had a brief follow-on conversation with FBI Director Jim Comey and Deputy Attorney General Sally Yates in the Oval Office. Vice President Biden and I were also present.

President Obama began the conversation by stressing his continued commitment to ensuring that every aspect of this issue is handled by the Intelligence and law enforcement communities “by the book.” The President stressed that he is not asking about, initiating or instructing anything from a law enforcement perspective. He reiterated that our law enforcement team needs to proceed as it normally would by the book.

From a national security perspective, however, President Obama said he wants to be sure that, as we engage with the incoming team, we are mindful to ascertain if there is any reason that we cannot share information fully as it relates to Russia. . . .

The President asked Comey to inform him if anything changes in the next few weeks that should affect how we share classified information with the incoming team. Comey said he would.

The repetition of “by the book” gave away the game—for there was nothing normal about any of it.

Rice wrote an email to herself. It commemorated a conversation from two weeks before. The conversation was about the FBI’s investigation of the man who was about to move into the White House—an investigation from which Obama was careful to distance himself. During the conversation, the outgoing president instructed his top aides to collect information (“ascertain”) regarding the incoming administration’s relationship with Russia.

“To any rational person,” says Nunes, “it looks like they were scheming to produce a get-out-of-jail-free card—for the president and anyone else in the White House. They were playing Monopoly while the others were playing with fire. Now the Obama White House was in the clear—sure, they had no idea what Comey and Brennan and McCabe and Strzok and the rest were up to.”

Boxing Trump in on Russia Meanwhile, Obama added his voice to the Trump-Russia echo chamber as news stories alleging Trump’s illicit relationship with the Kremlin multiplied in the transition period. He said he hoped “that the president-elect also is willing to stand up to Russia.”

The outgoing president was in Germany with Chancellor Angela Merkel to discuss everything from NATO to Vladimir Putin. Obama said that he’d “delivered a clear and forceful message” to the Russian president about “meddling with elections . . . and we will respond appropriately if and when we see this happening.”

After refusing to act while the Russian election meddling was actually occurring, Obama responded in December. He ordered the closing of Russian diplomatic facilities and the expulsion of thirty- five Russian diplomats. The response was tepid. The Russians had hacked the State Department in 2014 and the Joint Chiefs of Staff in 2015. And now Obama was responding only on his way out.

Even Obama partisans thought it was weak. “The punishment did not fit the crime,” said Michael McFaul, Obama’s former ambassador to Russia. “The Kremlin should have paid a much higher price for that attack.”

But the administration wasn’t retaliating against Russia for interfering in a US election; the action was directed at Trump. Obama was leaving the president-elect with a minor foreign policy crisis in order to box him in. Any criticism of Obama’s response, never mind an attempt to reverse it, would only further fuel press reports that Trump was collaborating with the Russians.

Spreading Intelligence to Spring Leaks In the administration’s last days, it disseminated intelligence throughout the government, including the White House, Capitol Hill, and the intelligence community (IC). Intelligence was classified at the lowest possible levels to ensure a wide readership. The White House was paving the way for a campaign of leaks to disorient the incoming Trump team.

The effort, including the intended result of leaks, was publicly acknowledged in March 2017 by Evelyn Farkas, a former deputy assistant secretary of defense in the Obama administration.

Obama’s biggest move against Trump was to order CIA director John Brennan to conduct a full review of all intelligence relating to Russia and the 2016 elections. He requested it on December 6 and wanted it ready by the time he left office on January 20. But the sitting president already knew what the intelligence community assessment (ICA) was going to say, because Brennan had told him months before.

Brennan’s handpicked team of CIA, FBI, and NSA analysts had started analyzing Russian election interference in late July. In August, Brennan had briefed Harry Reid on the dossier and may have briefed Obama on it, too. Earlier in August, Brennan sent a “bombshell” report to Obama’s desk.

When Brennan reassembled his select team in December, it was to have them reproduce their August findings: Putin, according to Brennan, was boosting the GOP candidate. And that’s why only three days after Obama ordered the assessment in December, the Washington Post could already reveal what the intelligence community had found.

“The CIA,” reported the December 9 edition of the Post, “has concluded in a secret assessment that Russia intervened in the 2016 election to help Donald Trump win the presidency, rather than just to undermine confidence in the U.S. electoral system.”

The story was the first of many apparently sourced to leaks of classified information that were given to the Post team of Adam Entous, Ellen Nakashima, and Greg Miller. The reporters’ sources weren’t whistle-blowers shedding light on government corruption— rather, they were senior US officials abusing government resources to prosecute a campaign against the newly elected commander in chief. The article was the earliest public evidence that the coup was under way. The floodgates were open, as the IC pushed more stories through the press to delegitimize the president-elect.

A Wave of Leak-Sourced Stories All Saying the Same Thing The same day, a New York Times article by David E. Sanger and Scott Shane echoed the Post’s piece. According to senior administration officials, “American intelligence agencies have concluded with ‘high confidence’ that Russia acted covertly in the latter stages of the presidential campaign to harm Hillary Clinton’s chances and promote Donald J. Trump.”

A December 14 NBC News story by William M. Arkin, Ken Dilanian, and Cynthia McFadden reported that “Russian President Vladimir Putin became personally involved in the covert Russian campaign to interfere in the U.S. presidential election, senior U.S. intelligence officials told NBC News.”

The ICA that Obama ordered gave political operatives, the press, and his intelligence chiefs a second shot at Trump. They’d used the Steele Dossier to feed the echo chamber and obtain surveillance powers to spy on the Trump campaign. The dossier, however, had come up short. Trump had won.

But now, on his way out of the White House, Obama instructed Brennan to stamp the CIA’s imprimatur on the anti-Trump operation. As Fusion GPS’s smear campaign had been the source of the preelection press campaign, the ICA was the basis of the postelection media frenzy. It was tailored to disrupt the peaceful transition of power and throw the United States into chaos.

Because Trump hadn’t been elected by the US public, according to the ICA, but had been tapped by Putin, he was illegitimate. Therefore, the extraconstitutional and illegal tactics employed by anti-Trump officials were legitimate. The ultimate goal was to remove Trump from office.

“If it weren’t for President Obama,” said James Clapper, “we might not have done the intelligence community assessment . . . that set off a whole sequence of events which are still unfolding today.”

Nunes agrees. “The ICA,” he says, “was Obama’s dossier.”

Changing the Intelligence Assessment Nunes is sitting in his office in the Longworth House Office Building along with his communications director, Jack Langer, a forty-six-year-old former book editor and historian with a PhD from Duke University.

“The social media attacks on Devin began shortly after the election,” Langer remembers. “They’re all hinting at some vast conspiracy involving Russia that the chairman of the Intelligence Committee is part of. And we have no idea what they’re talking about.”

Nunes points out that his warnings about Russia fell on deaf ears for years. “And all of a sudden I’m a Russian agent,” says the congressman.

Now Langer and Nunes see that the attacks were first launched because the congressman had been named to Trump’s transition team. “I put forward [Mike] Pompeo for CIA director,” says Nunes. “He came from our committee.”

The attacks on Nunes picked up after the December 9 Washington Post article. The assessment provided there was not what the HPSCI chairman had been told. The assessment had been altered, and Nunes asked for an explanation. “We got briefed about the election around Thanksgiving,” he says. “And it’s just the usual stuff, nothing abnormal. They told us what everyone already knew: ‘Hey, the Russians are bad actors, and they’re always playing games, and here’s what they did.’”

By providing that briefing, the IC had made a mistake. When it later changed the assessment, the November briefing was evidence that Obama’s spy chiefs were up to no good. “I bet they’d like to have that back,” says Nunes. “They briefed us before they could get their new story straight.”

‘They Kept Everyone Else Away from It’ Nunes acknowledges that he was caught off guard by many things back then. “We still thought these guys were on the up and up,” he says. “But if we knew, we’d have nailed them by mid-December, when they changed their assessment. ‘Wait, you guys are saying this now, but you said something else just a few weeks ago. What’s going on?’”

After the Post story, Nunes wanted an explanation. “We expressed deep concern, both publicly and privately,” says Langer. “We demanded our own briefing to try to determine whether that Post story was true or false. They refused to brief us. They said, ‘We’re not going to be doing that until we finish the ICA.’”

Nunes says the fact that the IC conducted an assessment like that was itself unusual. “I don’t know how many times they’d done that in the past, if ever,” he says. “But if the IC is operating properly, when someone says what can you tell me on X or Y or Z, they have it ready to pull up quickly. The tradecraft is reliable, and the intelligence products are reliable.” That was not the case with the ICA. There were problems with how the assessment had been put together.

“If you really were going to do something like an assessment from the intelligence community, then you’d get input from all our seventeen agencies,” says Nunes. “They did the opposite. It was only FBI, CIA, NSA, and DNI. They siloed it, just like they had with Crossfire Hurricane. They kept everyone else away from it so they didn’t have to read them in.”

‘Manipulation of Intelligence for Political Purposes’ Nunes released several statements in the middle of December. The HPSCI majority, read a December 14 statement, wanted senior Obama intelligence officials “to clarify press reports that the CIA has a new assessment that it has not shared with us. The Committee is deeply concerned that intransigence in sharing intelligence with Congress can enable the manipulation of intelligence for political purposes.”

After the statements warned of political foul play in the IC’s assessments, the social media attacks on Nunes became more regular. “They were constant,” says Langer.

Anti-Trump operatives recognized that Nunes was going to be a problem. The HPSCI chair had previously called out the IC for politicizing intelligence. “They said that we had defeated Al Qaeda in Iraq and Syria,” says Nunes, “and I knew that wasn’t true. Then they withheld the Osama bin Laden documents to conceal that Al Qaeda worked with Iran, because the administration was protecting the Iran deal. So when I saw them changing this assessment of the 2016 election in midstream, I knew it was the same old trick: they were politicizing intelligence.”

The speed with which Brennan’s handpicked analysts produced the ICA and then got a version of it declassified for public consumption was another sign that something wasn’t right. “All throughout Obama’s two terms, his IC chiefs aren’t paying attention to Russian actions,” says Nunes. “We give them more money for Russia, which they don’t use. But now they know so much about Putin that they manage to produce a comprehensive assessment of Russian intentions and actions regarding election interference in a month—at Christmastime, when everything slows down. And then they produce a declassified version in a manner of weeks. None of this is believable.”

Three different versions of the ICA were produced: an unclassified version, a top secret one, and another highly compartmentalized version. According to a January 11, 2017, Washington Post story by Greg Miller, Ellen Nakashima, and Karen DeYoung, an annex summarizing the dossier was attached to the versions that were not declassified.

‘Designed to Have a Political Effect’ The FBI had been working from Steele’s reports for more than half a year. Including the dossier along with the ICA would provide Comey with ammunition to take on the president-elect. Both he and Brennan were manipulating intelligence for political purposes.

“A lot of the ICA is reasonable,” says Nunes. “But those parts become irrelevant due to the problematic parts, which undermine the entire document. It was designed to have a political effect; that was the ICA’s sole purpose.”

The assessment’s methodological flaws are not difficult to spot. Manufacturing the politicized findings that Obama sought meant not only abandoning protocol but also subverting basic logic. Two of the ICA’s central findings are that:

Putin and the Russian government developed a clear preference for President-elect Trump. Putin and the Russian government aspired to help President-elect Trump’s election chances when possible by discrediting Secretary Clinton and publicly contrasting her unfavorably to him. To know preferences and intentions would require sources targeting Putin’s inner circles—either human sources or electronic surveillance. As Nunes had previously noted, however, US intelligence on Putin’s decision-making process was inadequate.

But even if there had been extensive collection on precisely that issue, it would be difficult to know what was true. For instance, the closest you can get to Putin’s inner circle is Putin himself. But even capturing him on an intercept saying he wanted to elect Trump might prove inconclusive. It is difficult to judge intentions because it is not possible to see into the minds of other people. How would you know that Putin was speaking truthfully? How would you know that the Russian president didn’t know his communications were under US surveillance and wasn’t trying to deceive his audience?

Quality control of information is one of the tasks of counterintelligence—to discern how you know what you know and whether that information is trustworthy. There was no quality control for the Trump-Russia intelligence. For instance, Crossfire Hurricane lead agent Peter Strzok was the FBI’s deputy assistant director of counterintelligence. Instead of weeding out flawed intelligence on Russia, the Crossfire Hurricane team was feeding Steele’s reports into intelligence products. Yet the ICA claimed to have “high confidence” in its assessment that “Putin and the Russian Government developed a clear preference for President- elect Trump.” What was the basis of that judgment?

According to the ICA:

Putin most likely wanted to discredit Secretary Clinton because he has publicly blamed her since 2011 for inciting mass protests against his regime in late 2011 and early 2012, and because he holds a grudge for comments he almost certainly saw as disparaging him.

“Most likely” and “almost certainly” are rhetorical hedges that show the assessment could not have been made in “high confidence.” Putin may have held a grudge against Clinton, but there is no way of knowing it.

The supporting evidence deteriorates more the farther the ICA purports to reach into Putin’s mind.

Beginning in June, Putin’s public comments about the US presidential race avoided directly praising President-elect Trump, probably because Kremlin officials thought that any praise from Putin personally would backfire in the United States.

This is absurd. Part of the evidence that Putin supported Trump is that he avoided praising Trump. It is difficult enough to determine intentions by what someone says. Yet the ICA claims to have discerned Putin’s intentions by what he did not say.

There is no introductory philosophy class in logic where reasoning like that would pass muster. Yet Brennan’s handpicked group used it as the basis of its assessment that Putin had helped Trump.

Moscow also saw the election of President-elect Trump as a way to achieve an international counterterrorism coalition against the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant.

This may be an accurate description of how Putin saw Trump. But Trump’s predecessor also wanted to coordinate anti- ISIS operations with Moscow. On this view, Trump would have represented a continuation of Obama’s ISIS policy. Why would this make Trump’s victory suspicious to Obama’s intelligence chiefs?

Curious Inaccuracies about Russia’s RT Network The ICA also pointed to documentary evidence of Putin’s intentions: English-language media owned by the Russian government, the news site Sputnik, and the RT network, were critical of Clinton.

State-owned Russian media made increasingly favorable comments about President-elect Trump as the 2016 US general and primary election campaigns progressed while consistently offering negative coverage of Secretary Clinton.

Curiously, just days before the election, the informant the US government sent after the Trump campaign praised the Democratic candidate in an interview with Sputnik. “Clinton would be best for US-UK relations and for relations with the European Union,” Stefan Halper told the Kremlin-directed media outlet. “Clinton is well-known, deeply experienced, and predictable. US-UK relations will remain steady regardless of the winner although Clinton will be less disruptive over time.”

The ICA includes a seven-page appendix devoted to RT, the central node, according to the document, of the Kremlin’s effort to “influence politics, fuel discontent in [sic] US.”

Adam Schiff appeared on RT in July 2013. He argued for “making the FISA court much more transparent, so the American people can understand what’s being done in their name in the name of national security, so that we can have a more informed debate over the balance between privacy and security.”

RT’s editor in chief, Margarita Simonyan, is a master propagandist, according to the ICA. The document fails to mention that Simonyan heads another Moscow-owned media initiative, Russia Beyond the Headlines, a news supplement inserted into dozens of the West’s leading newspapers, including the New York Times. Russia Beyond the Headlines has been delivered to millions of American homes over the last decade. By contrast, RT’s US market share is so small that it doesn’t qualify for the Nielsen ratings. Virtually no one in the United States watches it.

Taking the logic of Brennan’s handpicked team seriously would mean that the publishers of the New York Times played a major role in a coordinated Russian effort to elect Donald Trump.

‘It Was an Operation to Bring Down Trump’ Nunes realized even then the purpose of Obama’s dossier. “Devin figured out in December what was going on,” says Langer. “It was an operation to bring down Trump.”

There was no evidence that any Trump associate had done anything improper regarding the Russians, and Nunes was losing patience. “We had serious things the committee wanted to do,” he says. “With Trump elected, we could do some big stuff, like with China.”

Still, it was important for HPSCI to maintain control of the Russia investigation. Otherwise, Democrats and Never Trump Republicans were likely to get their wish to convene a bipartisan commission to investigate Russian interference—with the purpose of turning it on Trump.

“Before they started floating the idea of a special counsel, the big idea was a special commission like the 9/11 Commission,” says Langer. It was outgoing secretary of state John Kerry who first came forward with the proposal.

The point was to change the power dynamic. “In a normal committee,” says Langer, “the majority has the power, and that happened to be us. They wanted to strip our power and make it fifty-fifty.”

“Bipartisan” was a euphemism for “anti-Trump.” “It would have been a complete joke,” says Nunes. “A combination of partisan hacks from the left and people who hated Trump on the right.”

Democrats led by Schiff and Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer were joined by the late John McCain, the most active of the Never Trump Republicans. After the election, the Arizona senator had instructed his aide David Kramer to deliver a copy of the Steele Dossier to Comey.

“God only knows who they’d have populated that committee with,” says Nunes. “Anyone they could control. It would have been a freak show.”

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan defended HPSCI’s independence. On the Senate side, Intelligence Committee chairman Richard Burr had only one move. To deflect demands for an independent commission, he effectively ceded control of the Senate investigation to his vice chair, Democrat Mark Warner.

No Evidence of Collusion Years Later Still, Nunes believed that all the talk of Trump and Russia was a waste of time. “They kept promising us evidence of collusion, week after week, and they came up with nothing.”

Nunes’s disdain for the ICA forced the Crossfire Hurricane team’s hand. “Right around the time that they came out with the ICA, they kept saying that we were waiting on something to show us, something important that was coming in,” he says. “They said it was some significant figure who they couldn’t quite track down yet.”

But the FBI knew exactly where its missing link was, the piece of evidence that they thought would convince hardened skeptics like Nunes that collusion was real. They didn’t have to chase him down, because he was sitting at home in Chicago. He submitted to a voluntary interview January 27 and without a lawyer because he had no idea what the FBI had in store for him.

The Crossfire Hurricane team was figuring how they were going to set up the Trump adviser they’d used to open up the investigation in July 2016: George Papadopoulos.

Lee Smith is the media columnist at Tablet. Photo White House / public domain

[purekesseltrash]

My Fic List

Whelp, decided I should do one of these.  I have mostly written for Hockey RPF and BNHA, as you have likely already seen!

My BNHA Fics

Bury Them Deep

- “Shouji Mezou's entire life has revolved around being a goalie and playing hockey since he was five years old. After being drafted in the third round in the NHL, Shouji has two more years of college before moving on to playing professional hockey like he's always wanted. Or at least like he always thought he wanted. An injury that ends his season throws him into a tailspin, forcing him to take a look at his life and how he is going to live it, especially after meeting his fascinating new goth history tutor.”

(This bad bitch is 81k total and is chock full of my red hot hockey takes and midwestern references.  I love it very much and it is a sweet baby.)

The Rooftop Necromancy series AKA my black metal band AU:

Downhill from Here 

- “ Hizashi just wants to tour the country with his best friends with their metal band in their shitty van like they've been planning for years. He'd successfully hidden his crush on one of them for years, after all, he would definitely be able to make this work and keep things fun and uncomplicated. Until Aizawa decided to start acting weird. “

(In which I take you all on a nostalgic trip to 2006-2008 metal culture and you can see the black metal love song that my dumb ass wrote.)

The Perfect Mistake

- “ It wasn't as though Hizashi had planned on breaking up with his boyfriend while they were on tour in a tiny cargo van with no room and no peace. He would have much rather preferred to do it when they were home and he could easily go and crawl back into his mom's basement. But he didn't have a choice. “

(As relationships tend to do, theirs goes through problems.)

Rooftop Necromancy

-"He’d even ended up leaning into the crowd when someone’s elbow had connected solidly with his nose and thrown him back. They’d gone quiet as Hizashi got himself up to his feet, ripped off his now bloody ‘Within Temptations’ tshirt from 2004, whipped his hair back from his face and screamed, “That’s what I’m FUCKING talking about.” into the mic.

They went wild for it, cheering as blood ran down his nose, past his mouth and dripped onto the stage, leaving him feeling like an otherworldly monster performing an occult ritual. Metal, he thought dazedly to himself, why in the fuck had he ever stopped doing metal."

(I hyperfocused so hard at the idea of Mic as a metal head that I wrote this in seven straight hours and WROTE THROUGH THE ATTEMPTED COUP ON DEMOCRACY WITHOUT KNOWING IT.  It’s a bit rough, but it’s got some good parts and it spawned the whole damn series.)

Hands Up

- "But of course he had, they had always been able to read each other and what they meant. That had often been their problem, if he was going to be honest."

(In which they figure their shit out.  Basically it was written when I was thinking alot about how my own mental health had evolved through the years.  It’s basically the story of two people who are both very good for each other and also very bad and how they deal with that.  It’s probably the most personally meaningful thing I’ve ever written.)

The other BNHA fics:

Waking Up With Ghosts

-"Hizashi opened his eyes to a world that belonged to ghosts. His headphones were gone and the gray, grimy world that he felt more than saw was muffled and still. This was bad, he hazily thought."

In which we follow Hizashi shortly after the events of 296. How he's found, how he finds out and how he has to tell.”

(I fished this one out of the garbage of my Google Docs because I’d written most of it and forgotten about it.  I dragged it out, prettied it up a little and threw it up on AO3.  It is by far my most well read BNHA fic, go figure.)

Leave Her Johnny

-”Captain Hizashi Yamada has combed the Seven Seas looking for the elusive smuggler Eraserhead. He has spent years searching for him, tracking his movements and trying to anticipate where he would be next. But he had never considered what would happen when he finally found him. “

(I wrote a paragraph of this and was immediately like ‘I MUST CREATE THIS’.  I take some chances writing wise in this as the whole thing is done in a Victorian Era ish style of writing.  But I think it’s effective and the ending is likely one of the best that I’ve ever managed.  I’m proud of it.)

Gold Rush

-”"That earned him a laugh and Mashirao’s smile made something in his chest ache, something that made him want to hurt. Why had he ever left?

“I’m really not,” Mashirao was saying but Shinsou just shook his head and kissed him once, twice and wished he could take the sunny afternoon and make it stay forever. Make it stay forever like Mashirao somehow had, while the neighborhood had adjusted without Hitoshi’s permission.

“You are,” he said, “And I love it.”

I love you, he should have said.  But as Mashirao’s eyes softened and the blonde pushed him back against the bed, Hitoshi knew he didn’t need to say it."

(You know how sometimes you listen to a Death Cab for Cutie song about gentrification over and over until a fic comes out?  Because that’s basically what happened here.)

Black Sun

‘"But then he remembered the way that Shouji had eaten the night after, one hand curled into his hair as he hung back in the corner. Shouji hid when something was wrong, like a wounded cat trying to find a dark place to either live or die and he was being released tomorrow. Now was the time to push or he’d find Shouji right back on his bed, staring at nothing."

Something happened to Shouji on the beach. Tokoyami is sure of it.‘

(Aaaaaand Death Cab for Cutie strikes again.  But heyo, my first published ShouToko and it is SOFTTTTT)

In the Far and Mighty West

Mic came closer and despite himself, Shouta could not find it in him to feel afraid. “You won’t understand, not really. I’ll try, though. I’m like Pecos Bill or Paul Bunyan or a jackalope or that fish that your friend caught that he swears he brought in but that you’ve never seen proof of. I’m the herd of dogies moving sweet and steady in the right direction, I’m no stragglers to worry about, I’m that perfect dog that’s there to keep them in line. I’m that group of good friends that you would kill for, I’m the woman who you’re dying to come home to, I’m that promised home of milk and honey. I’m Mic.”

Shouta stared at him dazedly and licked his lips, feeling drunk and stupid as he stared at the man. “You’re… magic?”

“I suppose you could call me that.”

(Cowboy!Erasermic.  Inspired heavily by American Gods and my own love of folk heroes.)

In Your Violence

- “'Mezou frowned, eyes narrowing. “Are you trying to say that you’re scared that I’ll be killed by having faith in you?”

“It would be in your best interest to stay away from me,” Fumikage finally said, his voice falling flat and quiet. “I am destined to be a monster.”

'Mezou gets the call he fears, the one that says that Fumikage has lost control again. But this time it's different, in more ways than one.”

(I listened to Silence by Marshmello until I went insane in this is the result.  Featuring some of my super depressing headcanons about Shouji!  But it’s not awful.)

My hockey fics that I still like:

Hufflepuff Halfwit  

- ““Zhenya, the wind is coming from the west, I will not remind you again. You shut that window before the house stinks of factories!” She snapped and Geno stared at the owl as though maybe it would know what to do. But instead, it had given a little hoot and wiggled inside, only to drop it’s letter on the counter.

He turned his head very slowly back to look at his mother, who had suddenly gone very quiet. “It… just showed up, Mama. And um. It brought a letter.” He waited again, looked back at the owl who had begun to nose at the pirozhkis in interest and then looked back at his mother with the best puppy dog eyes he had ever attempted. “Can I keep it?”

(This is a part of my hockey/Harry Potter au that still legitimately haunts my dreams.  It’s basically a Sid/Geno in Hogwarts but I really love the world building I got to do with Koldovstoretz, the Russian school of wizardry.  Don’t read ‘On the Word of a Slytherin’ though, I’m not as proud of that one.)

The Prince  

- “What the fuck.” Matt breathed out, sitting back heavily onto his hotel bed as he stared at his phone.

‘This is Henrik.’ The text read. ‘I would like to meet you. I will book a room in Pittsburgh at your convenience. Let me know what time will work for you.’  - 

(Listen, it’s Henrik Lundqvist/Matt Murray smut, I feel like that is novel and interesting and worth your attention.  I wax poetic on goalies in this, as you do.)

The Zoo of Toronto 

- “No one missed it when a massive porcupine had shuffled in between the reporters with a single minded focus, pushing media away until it was able to grip onto Phil’s suit pants and try to pull itself up. He hadn’t been able to do more then besides pick the animal up before it could shred his pants to shreds and walk out of the locker room before the decision had been made with the Toronto media.

Phil Kessel was guilty.” 

(Not gonna lie, this is probably my favorite of the hockey fics I’ve written.  And it’s Phil/Carl, which is never found anymore but it was a good pairing.)

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

July 14, 2021

Heather Cox Richardson

Yesterday, news broke that, under pressure from Republican leaders, Republican-dominated Tennessee will no longer conduct vaccine outreach for minors. Only 38% of people in Tennessee are vaccinated, and yet the state Department of Health will no longer reach out to urge minors to get vaccinated.

This change affects not only vaccines for the coronavirus, but also all other routine vaccines. On Monday, Tennessee’s Chief Medical Officer Dr. Tim Jones sent an email to staff saying there should be "no proactive outreach regarding routine vaccines" and "no outreach whatsoever regarding the HPV vaccine." The HPV vaccine protects against a common sexually transmitted infection that causes cervical cancer, among other cancers.

Staff were also told not to do any "pre-planning" for flu shots events at schools. Any information released about back-to-school vaccinations should come from the Tennessee Department of Education, not the Tennessee Department of Health, Jones wrote.

On Monday, Dr. Michelle Fiscus, Tennessee's former top vaccine official, was fired without explanation, and Republicans have talked about getting rid of the Department of Health altogether, saying it has been undermining parents by going around them and straight to teens to promote vaccines.

Video editor J.M. Rieger of the Washington Post put together a series of videos of Republicans boosting the vaccine and thanking former president Donald Trump for it only to show the same people now spreading disinformation, calling vaccines one of the greatest scandals in our history, and even comparing vaccines to the horrors of the Nazis.

This begs the question: Why?

Former FBI special agent, lawyer, and professor Asha Rangappa put this question to Twitter. “Seriously: What is the [Republicans’] endgame in trying to convince their own voters not to get the vaccine?” The most insightful answer, I thought, was that the Republican’s best hope for winning in 2022—aside from voter suppression—is to keep the culture wars hot, even if it means causing illness and death.

The Republican Party continues to move to the right. During his time in office, the former president put his supporters into office at the level of the state parties, a move that is paying off as they purge from their midst those unwilling to follow Trump. Today, in Michigan, the Republican Party chair who had criticized Trump, Jason Cabel Roe, resigned.

Candidates who have thrown their hat into the ring for the 2022 midterm elections are trying to get attention by being more and more extreme. They vow to take on the establishment, support Trump and God, and strike terror into the “Liberals” who are bringing socialism to America. Forty QAnon supporters are running for Congress, 38 as Republicans, 2 as Independents.

And yet, there are cracks in this Republican rush to Trumpism.

Yesterday, on the Fox News Channel, House minority leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) admitted that "Joe Biden is the president of the United States. He legitimately got elected." Trump supporters immediately attacked McCarthy, but the minority leader is only too aware that the House Select Committee on the Capitol Insurrection will start hearing witnesses on July 27, and the spotlight on that event is highly unlikely to make the former president—and possibly some of the Republican lawmakers—look good.

Already, the books coming out about the former administration have been scathing, but tonight news broke of new revelations in a forthcoming book by Pulitzer Prize–winning Washington Post reporters Carol Leonnig and Philip Rucker. Leonnig and Rucker interviewed more than 140 members of the former administration and say that Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Mark A. Milley was increasingly upset as he listened to Trump lie about having won the election, believing Trump was looking for an excuse to invoke the Insurrection Act and call out the military.

Milley compared the former president’s language to that of Hitler and was so worried Trump was going to seize power that Milley began to strategize with other military leaders to keep him from using the military in illegal ways, especially after Trump put his allies at the head of the Pentagon. “They may try, but they’re not going to f---ing succeed,” he allegedly said.

In addition to damaging stories coming out about the former president, news broke yesterday that Fitch Ratings, a credit rating company, is considering downgrading the AAA rating of the United States government bonds. The problem is not the economy. In fact, the Fitch Ratings report praises the economy, saying it “has recovered much more rapidly than expected, helped by policy stimulus and the roll-out of the vaccination program, which has allowed economic reopening…. [T]he scale and speed of the policy response [is] a positive reflection on the macroeconomic policy framework. Real economic output has overtaken its pre-pandemic level and is on track to exceed pre-pandemic projections....”

Although the report worries about the growing debt, we also learned yesterday that the deficit for June dropped a whopping 80% from the deficit a year ago, as tax receipts recover along with the economy. Year-to-date, the annual deficit is down 18% from last year.

The problem, the report says, is politics. And it is specific. “The failure of the former president to concede the election and the events surrounding the certification of the results of the presidential election in Congress in January, have no recent parallels in other very highly rated sovereigns. The redrafting of election laws in some states could weaken the political system, increasing divergence between votes cast and party representation. These developments underline an ongoing risk of lack of bipartisanship and difficulty in formulating policy and passing laws in Congress.”

—-

Notes:

https://www.tennessean.com/story/news/health/2021/07/13/tennessee-halts-all-vaccine-outreach-minors-not-just-covid-19/7928701002/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2021/07/09/gop-fox-news-rush-turn-vaccine-door-knockers-into-terrifying-straw-men/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2021/07/14/under-trump-republicans-touted-coronavirus-vaccines-now-under-biden-theyre-questioning-them/

Tim Hanrahan @TimJHanrahanKevin McCarthy on Fox News, when asked about Trump's continued election claims: "Joe Biden is the president of the United States. He legitimately got elected. " On if Trump should run again: "Donald Trump has to make that decision whether he wants to run for president or not."408 Retweets1,373 Likes

July 13th 2021

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2021/07/13/party-extremists-gop-primary-contenders-struggle-break-out/

https://www.mediamatters.org/qanon-conspiracy-theory/here-are-qanon-supporters-running-congress-2022

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/michigan-gop-director-who-said-trump-blew-it-in-2020-resigns/ar-AAMa7oM

https://www.cnn.com/2021/07/14/politics/house-select-committee-first-hearing-democrats-capitol-police/index.html

https://www.fitchratings.com/research/sovereigns/fitch-affirms-united-states-at-aaa-outlook-negative-13-07-2021

CNBC @CNBCJUST IN: The U.S. budget deficit for June plunged to $174 billion. @ylanmui has the numbers. 309 Retweets669 Likes

July 13th 2021

Asha Rangappa @AshaRangappa_Seriously: What is the GOP’s endgame in trying to convince their own voters not to get the vaccine?5,083 Retweets45,461 Likes

July 13th 2021

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/joint-chiefs-chairman-feared-potential-reichstag-moment-aimed-at-keeping-trump-in-power/2021/07/14/a326f5fe-e4ec-11eb-a41e-c8442c213fa8_story.html

https://www.cnn.com/2021/07/14/politics/donald-trump-election-coup-new-book-excerpt/index.html

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[ncisladaily]

CBS’ NCIS: Los Angeles, by writing out not just Eric but also Nell in its Season 12 finale, made the question of Linda Hunt’s involvement in the CBS series more burning than ever.

After all, if Nell (played by Renee Felice Smith) was groomed all season long to take over for the MIA Operations Manager, who will lead the team in her sudden absence?

Or might the “new Hetty” be in fact the very best Hetty, as in Hunt herself?

TVLine spoke with showrunner R. Scott Gemmill about Hunt’s cameo in the season finale and what that means for Season 13, and more. (And as always, if you seek additional NCIS: LA scoop, email InsideLine@tvline.com. I’m sitting on tons!)

TVLINE | Hetty showing up…. Eric and Nell riding off into the sunset…. “Densi” picnicking on the beach…. Sam seeing his son take his fighter pilot exam…. Correct me if I’m wrong, but  was this the happiest damn NCIS: LA season finale we’ve ever had…? Well, it wasn’t what we were going to do, that’s for sure. We were going to use the finale that we had written for last season, which got bumped because of COVID, and then we realized everyone had such a tough, s–tty year, that we couldn’t in good conscience put the fans through any more trauma. So we decided to go in the exact opposite way and do a fun, feel-good episode that leaves everyone happy and hopeful for what is coming down the line.

TVLINE | What was the gist of the original, bumped finale? It involved Anna and Katya and that storyline, which we still want to play out. But it was a little darker than [what we went with]. If ever there was a season where you wanted to go out on a fun, happy note, this was the one where everyone needed that more than we needed to show off some cool episode. We needed to make everyone feel good.

TVLINE | I liked how at that one point Sam and Callen recounted everything that they’d gone through during this crazy year. You know, the fans have been really loyal for 12 years, and sometimes we do things that are exciting but are also a little bit traumatic, and we felt like we should have as much fun as we can and share that with the fans. It was like a little “love letter” to the audience, to show how much we appreciate them.

TVLINE | Amongst other things, you also apparently had an election in your world, because the president who gave Kessler the pardon is now a former POTUS. But it’s not Trump, because your guy was a former congressman, right? Yeah. Yeah. We always have to have a loophole!

[We then discussed the decision to write our Eric and Nell, reported here.]

TVLINE | What sort of reactions did you get from Barrett and Renée, when you told them your plan? You know, it goes back and forth with each season. There have been seasons where Barrett has gotten sort of bored — he really pulls toward Broadway — and I would always have to have the duality conversation, which is, as a friend, “I totally understand. You want to be doing something else, something cool. You should.” But as a father figure, I’m like, “Keep getting the paycheck because one day the show’ll be over, and then you can do whatever you want.”

Renée’s the same; a lot of the time when we haven’t seen her, it’s because we’ve written her out so that she can pursue [other projects]. She’s developing her own shows, and just wrote a book that’s out. A lot of the actors have other projects; Dani [Ruah] is directing a movie in Portugal right now. It’s such a gift to have a show go this long, but it’s also a big ask to have someone do the same thing for a long time, whether it’s actors or writers or one of the crew.

TVLINE | With Nell gone, what is the plan to fill Hetty’s position? Right now, we’re kicking around some ideas….

TVLINE | It seems like you may have to bring on someone new. As you know, Linda [Hunt] was away a lot more this season because of COVID and us trying to keep her safe. The couple of episodes that she was in, where she was supposed to be in the Middle East, we actually shot in her driveway. That was getting a little more difficult to do, and then finally, Linda had both her vaccines, she was feeling great, and she came back. And she was so happy to be back. She had been gone for so long and hadn’t really interacted with anyone, so she was just so thrilled to be back on set. The minute I saw her, she’s like, “Let’s talk about next season…,” so I think that as tough as last year was, for a lot of reasons, she, like the rest of us, is starting to see a little light at the end of the tunnel and feels good about coming back to work.

TVLINE | That’s good to hear, because Hetty’s line about still being up to her “ass in alligators” made me worry you were hedging your bets. Whenever [a cast member] goes away, we introduce some predicament that we’re forced to deal with. We always try and incorporate it. I think those are instances of opportunity rather than problems. Like when Dani was pregnant, or whatever it is that’s thrown at us, we try to incorporate that.  You normally wouldn’t ever write one of your No 1 through 6 actors  out for four or five episodes, because you couldn’t afford to, but when they have to for whatever reason, you try and jump at that because that’s something you don’t normally get to do, and you build that into the story. Like, “Where is this character?” Obviously, Hetty was away, but we want there to be a real reason, and we’ll probably revisit that next season.

TVLINE | So, we might get a good amount of Hetty in Season 13? That’s the plan, yeah.

TVLINE | In the meantime, what an MVP Gerald McRaney has been, as Kilbride! Oh, man…. I have been a huge fan of his forever. I mean, I grew up watching him and I was really happy when we had him on the show the first time, a few years ago. He’s such a pro and so cool, he raises everybody’s game.

TVLINE | And Kilbride’s such a pisser, grumbling about the millennials and their TikToks. He’s so great because he can do comedy, and he can do drama, and he likes to be out running around with guns, because he’s a big hunter in real life. We hope to see a lot more of him.

TVLINE | Was there anything you didn’t get to in Season 12? There were a lot of things, like Callen’s past as a child; we probably would have started to explore that a bit more. We didn’t get to where Hetty was; that was a big storyline that we were building towards with, what she was involved in. If we were having a normal season, we would have gone to where Hetty was.

TVLINE | When she and Nell hugged, I got teary-eyed, man. I felt like Renée was really crying in that scene. That’s what we wanted. We didn’t want to shortchange that return, so we had Hetty make an appearance with Nell, and then had a little fun with her and Kilbride.

TVLINE | Turning to the week prior, I kind of loved how Joelle is basically a Bond villain at this point, dressed all in black with one gloved hand and a prosthetic leg…. I talked to Elizabeth [Bogush] ahead of time and said, “I think we’re going to cut your leg off,” and she was like, “What??” [Laughs] You want to have some legitimate repercussions for some of this craziness, and that seemed like a good way to do it.

TVLINE | Renewal came later than usual this year. Are you preparing for next season to possibly be your last? We sort of always have that in the back of our mind, and this year wasn’t any different. Next season, I hope to get a heads-up if that is the case, just so that we can go out with an episode or a bunch of episodes that really tie up things and send our characters into the future in a way that makes everyone happy. But we’ll just have to wait and see. No one ever knows. If there is someone that knows, they’re not telling me!

TVLINE | You think it’ll be a full season? I think we’re scheduled to do 18 episodes. I would like to do [at least] 19, because that will get us to 300. I would really like to get 300, because that’s such a milestone.

[alpacaparkaseok]

A few things…

I’m in the middle of my reread, just about done with part 3 but I had to pause to tell you I got literal chills this time. Seokjin holding a match as the flame creeps further down the stick saying “Do I not look dangerous enough?” is going to haunt me forever. Ah and Tae crouching down to move Namjoon’s hand in part 2 😖 the imagery is *chefs kiss* but also so far my sleuthing has been unsuccessful bc your amazing writing is distracting me lol

Second thing is that while I started this ask with the intention of just raving about your writing, I then noticed the time sooooo naturally I also paused to make a really shitty meme (shhh ignore the quality, I took a screenshot of a gif bc I don’t know how to internet like them young folks) also you can’t send pics on anon???? Or if you can I don’t know how…see previous parentheses.

Happy birthday!!! I hope you’ll get to do something you love with the people you love today. I regret to inform you that creative writing is not my strong suit. I legitimately took exactly one writing class in college…but hey if you want to read a lab report I’m your gal 😂 on what? Who knows, but I can promise it will be as dry and technical as all lab reports sadly are 🥲. I’ll leave the writing to you and your big beautiful brain (and your other more talented followers). I’ll settle for hype man…did I already mention how talented you are? 🧐 Whenever you get to write your own novel I’ll be first in metaphorical line to buy it 🖤 (what’s that one tik tok trend the 💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥💳…that’s me)

P.S I cannot help but notice you are a Virgo/Libra cusper and to that I say que interestante but only bc I am legally obligated to do so any time I am made aware of someone’s date of birth

Aww thank you!! Sorry I'm nearly a day late in responding to this, but I caught you in the last few minutes of my bday! You're so sweet!

Agh now I wanna go back and reread htss because I remembered getting chills when I wrote those scenes lol. Oof, idk how I'm gonna finish this series, but it always comes together I guess. I love it though when you guys go back and come forward with your theories or opinions. It actually helps so so much!!

I will send my first published book right to your doorstep, lovely. Signed, sealed, delivered haha.

also yes ma'am I am a final day Virgo before Libra takes over, what does that say about me help idk

[ottomanladies]

Do you believe the reports that Ahmed married Kosem? We know she his favorite consort among six women in his harem. However, it's debatable if she was his legal wife? Hurrem, Nurbanu, Safiye, and Telli Humasah were all confirmed as wives. Did Mehmed also marry Gulnus? I can't remember?

Personally? I don't think so. The big champion of this theory is Özlem Kumrular who, in her book Kösem Sultan: İktidar Hırs ve Entrika, dedicates a paragraph to this.

Quoting it all would be just too long so I'm going to make a summary of her theory.

She starts by saying something that is very true:

None of the Ottoman sources available to us say that Ahmed married Kösem. As it has already been mentioned, for obvious reasons, except in exceptional circumstances, the sultans did not marry their women. Foreign sources do not mention the wedding, but treat Kösem as Ahmed's wife and leave the matter unsolved. For example, in 1609, the Venetian Ambassador Bon says that Ahmed had four children with his three kadıns, but that he was not married to any of them. However, Knolles is of the opinion that Ahmed married Kösem.

I'm not sure Knolles can be trusted, because he's not exactly the most accurate author ever, but she doesn't mention a particular book or page so I don't know exactly what he said.

In any case, she goes on saying that she found a document in the Venetian State Archive - which I found too but it's in Ottoman Turkish so I can't read it, I can only look at it - which would prove, according to her, that Kösem was Ahmed I's wedded wife.

The document is a letter that the Ottoman court sent to Venice to announce Murad IV's accession to the throne. In it the author (who? we'll see that below) writes about Kösem like this:

"Her Majesty the Sultana Valide [...] for the late Sultan Ahmed, whom Allah took with him, was a very important person and he loved her so much that he honored her by marrying her."

The letter is also interesting because it says that  "apart from the new padişah, two little sons of Kösem, Selim and Orhan, were still alive". I won't dwell on this because it is not the topic of your ask. I'll just say that we don't know who Selim and Orhan are.

Now, back to the wedding.

Kumrular alleges that Kösem may have written (dictated, of course) that letter herself to strengthen her role as regent:

Let us not forget that in the case of the European queens of the time, who ruled on behalf of their sons or husbands, the fact that they were lawful wives was of considerable importance. During this period, as in almost all centuries, the wedding was an important source of her legal status for a woman. It is obvious that Kösem, to a state as important as Venice, wanted to legitimize her position. Emphasizing that she was the wife of the deceased ruler and praising her were aimed at elevating her in relations with the Venetian state, gaining respect for her and obedience to her words.

And this is where I start having problems with her theory. While the institution of the regency in the Ottoman empire was basically new, the Venetians were well aware that sultans did not get married, and they were used to the valide sultans not being wedded wives. In fact, after the death of the sultan, his consort who became valide sultan also became a free woman. She was not a slave anymore so that she had not been a wedded wife is of no consequence. She derived her power from her son and not from the dead sultan.

So I don't understand why Kösem would feel the need to highlight that she was Ahmed I's wedded wife. Also, second question: what words did she (or whoever wrote the letter) exactly use to say "wedded wife"? Unfortunately, Kumrular doesn't say. I think that a linguistic analysis of the letter would have been interesting, especially because I don't think there are a lot of people that can read Ottoman Turkish.

On the other hand, Venice's reply to this letter convinces us that Kösem was right to attach such importance to it.

Really? What does the answer say? Who knows, Kumrular doesn't say.

If it was really the Sultana who commissioned this letter to be written, I don't think she would dare to risk that much and take responsibility for such a serious lie just to sanction her rights. Venice knew the Ottomans' every move, followed their every breath, so it wouldn't have taken long for them to prove that the content of this letter was a lie.

Really? [2] I have doubts.

Therefore, we can believe that Kösem was really the wedded wife of Sultan Ahmed.

Really? [3] I have doubts. [2]

In sum, I feel like her reasoning is a little flawed. Of course, some things may be lost in translation but I don't know... Personally, I'm not as sure as she is that there was an official wedding.

As for your last question: no, Mehmed IV did not marry Emetullah Râbia Gülnûş.

This is what the quotes that you paraphrased actually say (it is always important to look at exact quotes in history):

"[a woman of] beauty and shrewdness, and furthermore ... of many talents, she sings excellently, whence she continues to be extremely well loved by the king.... Not that she is respected by all, but she is listened to in some matters and is the favorite of the king, who wants her beside him continually. . . " — Leslie P. Peirce, The Imperial Harem: Women and Sovereignty in the Ottoman Empire

and

"she can do what she wishes with the King and possesses his heart absolutely, nor is anything ever denied to her." Contarini noted, however, that Kosem "restrains herself with great wisdom from speaking [to the sultan] too frequently of serious matters and affairs of state." — Leslie P. Peirce, The Imperial Harem: Women and Sovereignty in the Ottoman Empire

First quote is by Contarini in 1612, the second quote is by Valier in 1616.

So, what the Venetian ambassadors say is that Kösem knew Ahmed's nature very well: she knew that he hated women's interferences and that probably pressuring him too much would turn against her.

As you said, it is possible that she used her sassy personality to keep things "light" with him. Contrary to his depiction in MC:K, Ahmed was quite rigorous and conservative (remember Safiye's poor organ? Yeah...)