therandomavenger

[therandomavenger]

Maximizing My Schedule

There are all sorts of productivity routines out there. Most of them say something like, ‘Do your most important work first when you’ve just gotten up and are fresh for the day,’ or ‘Get up at 5am and knock out a couple of hours of work before everyone else has started their day.’ Now, there’s nothing wrong with these strategies. They work for a lot of people, but they’re sold as magic bullets, leaving some of us feeling as if we can’t do this, or if it doesn’t work for us for some reason, that there’s something wrong with us.

Welp, I’m here to tell you that this advice doesn’t work for me, and I still manage to be productive. So, I thought I’d talk a little bit today about how I structure my days to maximize my productivity, despite having pretty intense ADHD. My goal is not to sell you on a specific system, but to give you permission to build a system that works for you.

The advice to get the most important work of the day done right when you get up absolutely does not work for me. It takes my brain several hours to fully come online, and this is a struggle shared by many other neurodivergent people. The first thing I need to do when I get up is (after coffee, of course) to get in touch with my body. I do this by engaging in some sort of exercise. Sometimes this is an hour-long walk at a nearby park or hiking trail, other times it is a two-hour gym session. This gives my brain time to wake up, while I bleed off a lot of my incipient hyperactivity, giving me a greater ability to focus the rest of the day. I have to tire my body out so that my brain can take over. I also use the mornings as time to take care of any errands I have to run and tend to schedule any necessary doctor’s appointments during this time. Basically, any busy-work I need to get out of the way happens here, leaving me free during my prime creative temporal real estate.

I’ve discovered that I am most able to be mentally productive between the hours one 1 and 6 pm. That’s when my ADHD meds are most effective, and if I’ve exercised in the morning, my body is tired enough to get out of the way. Here, I can work in two-hour blocks. Two hours is about as long as I can work on any one thing. So, this is when my writing gets done in the first productivity block. Sometimes, I’ll take a thirty-minute break and then have a second productivity block, but this cannot be more writing or even something super similar like editing. It needs to be a completely different task. Usually, this is when I work on graphic design projects. Even though this is still work I’m doing at my desk, it’s using a different enough part of my brain that I don’t exhaust myself the way I would if I were working on another intense language-based activity. I can also do plotting and planning during this second block. Other days, it’s when I have zoom meetings with my writers’ group.

Once this productivity block is over, I don’t really ask for any more work out of myself. I have dinner. Spend a couple of hours reading before, in the summer, taking another short walk when it gets cooler and is still light out. Later in the evening I shower and then watch some tv. It used to make me feel guilty that I couldn’t use the evenings for productivity as well, but my ADHD meds wear off at about six o’clock, and I just don’t have the focus to do anything like that. Occasionally in the evenings I will do social things, like attending meetings and game nights with out local queer groups, playing D&D, and other opportunities that might come up, like selling books at our monthly community night markets.

This specific type of schedule might not work for you, but the principle I’ve applied, of finding when my natural physical and mental energy aligns with the types of productivity I need to accomplish, can be something you apply in your own life. I know not everyone is in charge of their own schedule to the extent that I am, but if you can find even thirty minutes in your prime energy zone, and protect those minutes like they’re the gold in your dragon hoard, then it can make a really huge difference in your life and what you can get done.   

I hope this post functions as permission to structure things in a way that works for you, no matter what other advice you may be getting. You shouldn’t try to fit your unique brain and energy system into someone else’s plan, even mine. You are you, and you will be most productive if you create a system that takes your needs into account. Obviously, most people have more constraints on their time than I have. But if I had given myself permission to do this years earlier, I could have been much more productive many years before I was.

So, figure out what works for you and do your best to create it for yourself, and then protect it. Because it’s important. Your goals are important. Your time is important, and you’re allowed to work for and defend them.

[therandomavenger]

I think when you start to object to something the first question you need to ask is 'is it hurting anybody?' and then if the answer is 'no, but it's weird,' you need to sit down, shut up, and mind your own business.

[therandomavenger]

My Top 5 Favorite Superhero Movies!

I’ve seen a lot of superhero movies, to put it mildly. A lot a lot. I love superheroes as a concept, and so the focus on them in the last twenty years or so has been like catnip to me. Some of them, I’ve loved (on this list, duh). Some of them I’ve scratched my head at (All the X-men). Some of them I loved at the time but had second thoughts about later (Looking at you, Snyderverse). This genre is probably my favorite, though I do admit to having superhero fatigue once in a while. So, whittling this list down to five favorites was kind of a challenge, but I put in the work and got there. I write this list as a fan, not as a film critic. I am not here to tell you what a good superhero movie should include/not include, I’m just talking about the ones that I love.

5. Blue Beetle (2023)

This movie is a joy. The origin story of a legacy hero, also a brilliant look at an immigrant family. The lead character is in over his head and full of charisma. The stakes are as personal as they are world-changing, and there’s even a cute romance that doesn’t feel shoehorned in. The cast is stacked on all sides, though unknowns take the lead. I’m really hoping they follow-up on this one, though it seems kind of orphaned since the DCU has come to be.

4. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

I hesitated to include this one because though it is a marvel movie, I’m not sure the characters, as presented in the film, really qualify as superheroes per se, but its an adaptation of the comics and the action is heroic, so I decided it belonged here. I loved the found family aspect of this, as well as the worlds-shattering plotline. It’s funny where it means to be and heartfelt in some of the same places. I love this band of reprobates and cheered when they finally got their shit together (it was close). I enjoyed the later movies as well, though kind of wish they had just done their own things and had not gotten caught up in the MCU crossover nonsense, which kind of hijacked some of the characters. But this first movie, before all of that happened, was just about perfect.

3. Thunderbolts (2025)

Another band of lovable losers. Similar in vibes to the Guardians of the Galaxy, but much more focused on their own trauma. This movie manages to put them through their paces while being psychologically real. They’re much more damaged than the Guardians were. But the story of how they come together to be heroes despite all of that was really moving, and I’m hoping for more from this team (given box office results, it’s not likely, I know). Also, they made a whole-ass superhero movie about shadow work, and that is an amazing accomplishment.

2. Black Panther (2018)

This one sat on my top spot for years. Love the epic scope, and the way the character was wrapped in layers of legacy, while still having to fight for his birthright. Chadwick Boseman inhabited the role like no one else could have, and it gave us a pretty great moral quandary along with the epic super-heroics. What if the villain was right? This movie felt as much like an Afrofuturist sci-fi novel as a marvel movie, adding some much-needed gravitas to the universe.

1. Superman (2025)

I have a love/hate relationship with James Gunn. In that, I either love his movies, or absolutely hate them. I am never lukewarm. I Loved Guardians (obvs), I hated his Suicide Squad, Peacemaker, and Creature Commandos. And I love this. Gunn understands the character of Superman better than any other filmmaker I’ve seen. Supes is a boy scout, who tries to do the right thing, and that is his strength. He has a moral code he lives by. The character does not need to be deconstructed (ahem, Snyder, ahem). He’s not perfect, he makes mistakes, but he is well-intentioned, and he is not trying to lord his power over the rest of us. Gunn understood that and made it the core of the movie, while ably using the rest of the usual cast of superman characters, and giving us a look at the wider universe. His Lois Lane is brilliant and aids the plot through her own efforts, not through contrivance. The love story is sweet and somewhat complicated. And Krypto as a chaos goblin rescue dog was a delight. I loved this movie so much and was thrilled by nearly every scene. I hope Gunn can keep it up.

Those are my top 5. What are yours?

[therandomavenger]

Love this!

this is your gentle reminder to stop fighting against your adhd and instead structure your life around it

buy a pack of chapsticks and put one in the pocket of all of your coats and jackets because you always forget to bring one and chapped lips is sensory hell

leave important things where you can see them. if they go in a box or a drawer you will forget they exist

put any appointments or deadlines in your phone calendar As Soon As you get them. set a reminder for a week before, a day before, an hour before, as many as you need as often as you need them.

when that little voice in your head says "i dont need to write that down, ill remember it" that is the devil talking!!! write it down anyway!!

plan for down time. have a few hours at the end of every day to just do fun stuff like engage in your hyperfixations. even if you didnt get all of your work done that day, have the rest anyway. you probably spent the whole day beating yourself up for not doing what you Should be doing, so you still need the break.

if you never eat vegetables because its too much effort to chop and cook them, get the frozen or canned shit. it doesnt go off for ages and you just have to microwave it. theres no point buying fresh vegetables if they just keep going off and being left to rot in the bottom of your fridge

if you struggle to decide what to have for dinner every day, take the decision out of it. choose a set of meals and eat those on rotation until you get sick of them, then choose some new ones and do it again.

its not stupid if it works! our brains literally have a chemical deficiency. you are allowed to accommodate yourself. go forth and stop making your life more difficult than it has to be because "this shouldn't be this hard". it is hard, so make it easier.

[therandomavenger]

Don't Let the Bastards Grind You Down

It’s been a rough time to be a person with any sense of empathy and moral responsibility. I probably don’t need to go into the reasons why. The worst people are in charge and they’re proud and boastful about the harm they’re doing to the most vulnerable. Many of these people are supported by friends and family we once thought we could trust, and that betrayal hits harder than almost any other part of this.

Those of us who are in populations of marginalized people are constantly told that our demands for equality are too much and we should be grateful for whatever scraps we are given. The taxes we pay are being used to fund our oppression, and if there’s a way to make peace with that, I have no idea what it is. We can’t really be sure that the nation we thought we grew up in actually exists anymore, or if there’s any way to get back to a more just society (Don’t get it twisted, The US has never been a Just Society for the majority of people).

There’s very little good news, but this is an opportunity for us to make common cause together and use whatever power is left to us to bend the arc of history back into a more reasonable shape. It’s going to be hard, but it’s not impossible. I don’t have a specific plan for this, but there are some smart people who do, and there are a lot of us who want to see it happen.

And, right now, it’s okay to feel your feelings and be sad and angry. Rageful, even. But these horrible people are not moved by our despair. They laugh at it. It motivates them to do even more awful things to us. So, we can feel despair, but we can’t give up. All of those people with coffee cups labeled ‘liberal tears’ want to see us demoralized and hopeless. So, let’s not give that to them. What they want to do is rob us of our joy, and that’s something we absolutely cannot let them do.

So, get mad, let yourself be mad, but keep seeking, through all of this, ways to connect with joy. Celebrate the small wins. Read books and listen to music that makes you happy. Let joy inspire us to create a world that is better for everyone, yes, even the people who hate us. Do not give the assholes any sense that they’ve one. Let them wonder how we stay motivated for the fight. Let them wonder why we’re still laughing at stupid memes. Let them wonder why their taste of victory is turning to ashes in their mouths.

This is not a ‘bury your head in the sand’ strategy. Joy is survival. Joy is resilience. Joy is defiance. Joy is hope. They want to take all those things from us, and it’s okay right now if you feel like they have, and to be in your feelings about it. But don’t let the bastards win. Don’t let it take your joy and hope from you. Seek out sources of joy, wherever they are. Joy is giant middle finger to the assholes. Keep flipping that finger at them, in whatever ways you can.

For me, I’m worried, yes. My ACA premium might go up significantly and all of my grandchildren are aided by food assistance and Medicaid. I can envision a turn of events where my entire career is made illegal and I am even punished for writing about queer joy. But I’m not going to stop doing it. I will not comply in advance. I’m out here with my full legal name on my books. If they want to stop me, they’re going to have to kill me. I will find ways to distribute my work even if censorship does come full force against us. I am not going back in the closet. I am not going to withdraw support from my trans siblings, or the immigrant community. I am even going to fight for services to help the very people who voted for this, because they are at risk too. I will fight disinformation wherever I find it, even though it feels like it doesn’t even matter if we can prove that truth is on our side. And I will never stop side-eyeing the people who brought us to this place through their action or inaction.

They want us demoralized. They want us to give up. They would like nothing better to see us all crying and decrying what’s happened. And while we need to process our big feelings and make plans for ourselves to keep each other safe as much as possible, we need to practice joy. Find things that are worth celebrating, whatever the source of that is for you. It will fuel us and inspire us to do everything we can to lead our nation, and the world, into a better, more equitable place.

It may not work. Things may get worse. But they may get better too. I wish I had a way to make a reliable prediction. There are more of us than there are of them, and if they see us embracing joy it will affect them, maybe make them lose a bit of their immoral resolve. There is no one way to do this. Do whatever you can, for however long you can. Rest when you need to.

Don’t let the Bastards Grind You Down …     

[therandomavenger]

Meet the Cast of World Enough and Time

Here's the main cast of World Enough and Time, my new contemporary sci-fi romance, including the obvious most important character, Sergio!

get the book here!

[therandomavenger]

Dmitri feels like his life is a hot mess, but he actually has his shit together. Jay seems like he has his life together, but he's actually a hot mess. Oh, and one of them is secretly an alien? What will happen when their worlds collide?

[therandomavenger]

Do It Until It Doesn't Suck

Late last year, after the worst year of my life, I decided to throw another project on the pile (and on top of the wreckage): getting into shape. I had just been dumped. I was finishing up my graphic design degree. I’d been living with my parents for several months. Everything had fallen apart, but I thought, this is something I need to do to feel better about myself. So, I joined a gym, and started going, trying to make it there at least twice a week.

I kind of knew what I was doing? I mean I knew what exercises I needed to work on based on when I’d done this before in my early thirties. I also knew not to overdo it, or I would hurt myself. I did an hour of lifting, and an hour of cardio on the treadmill twice a week (or so).

Here’s what no one tells you when you start something new, especially something hard. It absolutely sucks at first. All these fitness influencers who tell you how instantly good you’re going to feel are full of shit, and then have extra shit stuffed in. It’s the worst. It’s painful. It’s frustrating, even if you start slow. Your body protests. It begs to stop. You feel stupid because you’re not good at it yet. It absolutely sucks.

For me, it sucked for about six months. I kept with it. I had a vision of myself as someone who could do hard things, and that helped. I had the goal of going twice a week, but sometimes it was once a week and sometimes I would skip weeks altogether. But I kept with it. Then, about the first part of April, it just became something I did. I didn’t love it, but it started to bring me joy. I was finally seeing tangible results. My conditioning had improved to the point that it didn’t feel so much like a struggle. I started lifting heavier weights. My body was changing. I didn’t look like a Hemsworth yet (someday …) but there was visible definition in my arms, chest, and shoulders. I’d lost about fifteen pounds. All of this gave me motivation to double down and up my workout to three times a week. And then I started making more progress.

But that first six months? It was awful. Fortunately, I was stubborn enough to stick to it, and now it’s just something I do and challenge myself with. It’s still not FUN, but it is enjoyable on some level. When I miss a workout, I notice, and I sense the lack. But I had to get through that first six months of suckage. I’m told six months is typical for something like this.

It's like this with a lot of things. Whenever you start something new, whether it’s a fitness routine, or a new career, or an artistic pursuit, or a new habit like writing, there’s maybe a two-week period where you’re excited and it feels easy. Then, it starts to suck. Like, hard. Like should be illegal amounts of suckage. And a lot of people give up at this stage. I think the stats say that something like 85%+ on new year’s resolutions are abandoned by the time the calendar flips over into February. And it’s not surprising. Things that seem like a clever idea when you start absolutely do not feel that way after two weeks or so. You’re struggling and, worse, seeing no progress, so you wonder why you’re wasting your time. Surely, you say to yourself, if this were meant to be I would be having an easier time with it?

But no. New things suck. Sometimes suck hard. You gotta get through the suck. Which led me to a new rule for myself when I start something:

Do it until it doesn’t suck.

That’s it. No matter how much it sucks after the first month, if it’s important to you, stick with it. IT WILL GET BETTER! I promise!

Now, if something just seemed like it would be purely fun and you have no more motivation than that for continuing, you don’t have to continue to do things you hate. But if something is important, stick with it. Do it until it doesn’t suck.

I wish I knew a way to make it easier, beyond simple awareness. Do whatever it takes to get though the suck. If you must bribe yourself with sugary snacks, do it! If you must make a substantial wager with a rival to give them money if you stop (people have found this very motivating), do it. There are no easy ways to get through the suck, and also no rules about how you do it. Whatever works is on the table.

Just realize, no matter how slow you start, the suck is coming. You can’t avoid it. Get through it to the other side, and you will have found new levels of strength within yourself, and you will start to make substantial progress toward your goals. There is no shortcut.

But I will say, it’s worth it. Here, after eight months, I am, at the age of 52, in the best physical shape I’ve ever been in my life. I have not achieved my goals yet, but I’m only 15 pounds away from my goal weight, and I keep getting stronger. I joke about having accomplished FEATS OF STRENGTH, but it is actually motivating to be more physically capable, when that has always been something you felt you lacked. I can see myself continuing this habit for the rest of my life. I’ve even designed a tattoo that I will get when I’ve reached the goal of being able to bench press my own body weight (It’s a Celtic knot symbolizing strength). The best news is I don’t hate doing it anymore.

So, whatever you’re doing, Do It Until It Doesn’t Suck. It’s a simple rule, but it will open many new ventures for you. It applies to everything, sadly. New things can suck for a log time, but if you just keep going, they will stop sucking and they will become an important part of your life.   

[therandomavenger]

In Defense of Theme

I’ve run across a lot of people lately who say something like, ‘I’m not writing with a message. I just want to write fun stories that entertain people,’ and also, ‘Thinking about the big ideas you’re working with is misguided, it’s not a writer’s job to work with a theme in mind, it’s the job of the critic to think about theme.’ There’s also the old wisdom that says, ‘If you think about theme too much when you’re writing your work will read like an after school special.’ And while I can see where those people are coming from, that is not an approach I can go along with.

First, let’s define our terms. Theme is a big word that gets bandied about a lot, but for me, it’s not something that only belongs in Lit class (a common argument). Themes are the big ideas your work is engaging with. They are more specific than obscure concepts like ‘Justice’ or ‘Love.’ They’re like a thesis statement. ‘Love can’t always save us but it’s worth fighting for, anyway,’ is a theme. ‘People who want power often can’t be trusted with it,’ is a theme. A friend writes YA fantasy, the theme of which is ‘No matter your place in the community, you always belong to yourself.’ Those are themes. Those are big ideas that provide a moral and often narrative framework.

Can you be too didactic about your themes? Absolutely. No one likes a heavy-handed allegory. But this is an issue of skill, not about the appropriateness of engaging with theme at all. You certainly don’t need to have theme front and center in your writing, but it’s good to at least be thinking of the messages your work is sending or reinforcing. You don’t have to set out with a theme in mind when you start writing. It’s best not to. Let the themes emerge as you write. And if you’re writing something with at least a little bit of depth, they will. You might discover what you think about some big issues when you write the story, and this can become your theme.

And here’s the thing, whether or not you do it purposefully, your work will have a theme. The problem comes when your theme is something you did not intend. This is how we get JK Rowling writing an entire book touching on the theme ‘Slavery is good actually, if the slaves are into it!’  Did she mean to say that? Maybe, maybe not (At this point she deserves 0 benefits of the doubt). But that theme was definitely delivered. It’s also how we get book after book populated by nothing but cishet white people because the author ‘Didn’t want to get political.’ It is impossible for a human being to create a written work of fiction that does not have some sort of theme, intentional or not. I’m not asking for people to get preachy, but just to be aware of this and be intentional about it.

Theme is not something I have in mind when I first start envisioning a story, but it does emerge very early in the planning process, and that gives me the freedom to either lean into it or complicate it as I go along. It is something that I can articulate and talk about by the time the book is ready to be published, and knowing the theme helps me make sure those books get into the hands of the right readers. I like that my books are about something real, alongside the worldbuilding, plot shenanigans, and smut.

Now, if all you want is for a story to be fun, that is valid as well. But you’re always making story choices, no matter your intent, and there will be a theme. I mean the Itsy-Bitsy Spider has a theme (Persistence is important. I’m not even kidding.)

So, to summarize, theme is not something that needs to be centered in your writing, but it is something you need to be aware of and intentional with. Get readers to help you suss out your themes if you’re having trouble finding them. It can only help you.

[therandomavenger]

[therandomavenger]

I stand by this.

[therandomavenger]

Saving My Spoons: Social Media for the Chaotic Author

Ok, so a while back I decided to be more intentional about what and where I posted on social media. I developed a couple of flavors of posts I felt comfortable with, and (and this is important) that I enjoyed. I upgraded to a Facebook professional account and became verified. I started posting on Instagram, Facebook, Threads, and BlueSky. Those were the places I had the biggest audience, and the biggest reach.

No, I was more intentional, but I still posted mostly text and picture posts, thoughts off the top of my head. Anyone who’s paid any attention knows that there’s not a little bit of feral chaos in what I post. That is because I enjoy it, and if it becomes part of my brand (ick. I’m sorry), so be it. I’ve seen my audience grow and get more engagement, and I’ve actually seen a growth in book sales, which was not necessarily the goal, but was a nice side benefit.

So, after a couple of months of this, I’ve noticed a few things. My percentage of engagement comes from Facebook. That’s where I’ve built the most relationships. I don’t have a really high number of followers, but they’ve grown lately, which is nice. People who follow me on insta are almost exclusively people who also follow me on Facebook. By cross-posting, I am basically spamming them twice. That’s unnecessary, and annoying. I have friends who get a lot of traction on insta, but they also post reels and have a more aesthetic feed than I do. And are more plugged into bookstagram, which has never felt natural for me. They also tend to write YA and cishet romance. I know there are queer authors doing well on insta, but I don’t think I’m destined to be one of them. The vibes are off. So, going forward, I’m pretty much going to abandon posting on insta. I will use it to collect hot guy thirst traps (don’t judge me) which is its greatest utility to me anyway.

Which brings me to threads. Ah, threads, we had such high hopes for you. But honestly, the place is as toxic as twitter ever was. I have a lot of followers, but they are not people who fall into my natural audience. It’s mostly newbie writers and people with hot takes. The algorithm pushes conflict, and I find myself constantly annoyed and in internet fights which are a waste of everyone’s time. Theres a lot of performative everything. I don’t think it’s doing me any good in any capacity, so today I took the step of removing it from my social media home screen. I can go into apps and look at it if I really want to punish myself, but I needed to get out of the habit of checking it reflexively. Honestly, if I never look at it again, I will probably be much happier. So, I’m tossing that site into the bin.

BlueSky, I adore. There’s been a lot of ‘BlueSky is dying’ handwringing lately which I just don’t get. I have 1500 followers there and fairly good engagement. Also, I’ve had great conversations there with people I would otherwise never have met, and isn’t that what social media is supposed to be for? It’s less of a ‘hot take’ factory. It’s unhinged at times, but more contemplative. And the threads book drama is largely absent, thank dog. Also, BlueSky is the online home for a massive number of Queer nerds, and they are my people.

Now, the social media site I vibe with the most is definitely Tumblr. It seems like I would be made for that platform. As much as I love it, though, I never get any traction with anything I post. It’s actually heartbreaking. It’s like I’ve been rejected by the weird kids. But I’m going to keep trying because maybe one day something will hit.

Now, by focusing on three sites: Facebook, BlueSky, and Tumblr, I’m hitting three distinct audiences. There’s very little overlap, so I can cross-post and not worry about wearing out the same people who already saw my posts on one of the other places. This will save me a lot of mental energy and probably annoy fewer people (That number will never be 0).

So that’s what I’m going to do moving forward. Don’t look for me on insta and threads, but the chaos will continue on Facebook, BlueSky, and Tumblr. Those are the places I feel most at home, anyway.       

[therandomavenger]

Square tap: dead. My will to sell books anyway: immortal. Catch me keying in card numbers like a retail cryptid because people are actually buying my stuff.

[therandomavenger]

An Excerpt from World Enough and Time

[therandomavenger]

I was driving up to a friend’s for the weekend on Friday and nearly broke down in tears because I saw a billboard on the side of a southern highway. It had the same yellow background with red text that those awful, ubiquitous “Jesus Saves!” billboards have. I nearly missed it.

It said:

“Rejoice! God loves trans kids!”

[therandomavenger]

New Blog Post!