#I legit think about it frequently and at length

[poppyclangen]

Redraw of that Iconic scene I 100% don't lay awake thinking about or anything... not my favorite moment of a clangen comic ever.... at all... @fallenclan

[thegamingcatmom]

‘Tis I.. Mommy Ghost! 👋🏻 Here to stink up your ask box with my annoying lady stench once more! 😘

I hope that you are taking good care of yourself today 💖 and that Momma is giving you plenty of brain worms to inspire you. Or perhaps it would be more appropriate to say.. brain maggots. 😉🪱

I return to your ask box today with more of my nonsense, this time in the form of questions with regards to Momma’s delicious mouth. 💋🥵

At the end of your most recent update of the shenanigans experienced by us, Momma’s little Drama Queen, you gave us the beginnings of an attempted kiss from Momma. And so, now seemed like the perfect time for me to hop into your inbox to broach your ideas and details of kissing our beloved Maggot Mommy. 😻😘

I am certain that any little maggot who is a slut for Momma must have at least considered what it would be like to kiss her.

I know damn well that we all took note of that tongue when Momma attacks poor Bridget. The exquisite length of it. The colour of it.. black as coal. The way that it was dripping with thick saliva. 🤤

Also the visually obvious fact that, for the majority of the film, Momma’s mouth is covered in a mixture of dried and congealed blood, and also frequently dripping with fresh blood from both her victims and her own wounds..😻🥵

With your version of Maggot Mommy, the body of Ellie being used as a vessel is strung somewhere between dead and alive.. undead, if you will. Yes? So, surely that must give the taste of her kisses a certain.. je ne sais quoi? 🙊😅

Also, despite our beloved Maggot Mommy being an unholy Goddess whom we absolutely adore.. I have a feeling that she isn’t exactly too concerned about her dental hygiene, even though her powerful mouth is used to rip and tear and consume flesh. And so that breath, and that tongue, and the potential remnants of slaughtered foes still stuck in those teeth.. it all must add up to a unique flavour? 🥲

So, my dearest Cat.. what do you imagine our experience of kissing your Maggot Momma to be like? Tell me, what does Momma’s mouth taste like? 🤤

Spare NO details. I want to hear it ALL! 😻🤤

~ Kisses from me x 💋🖤

Hey there, mommy! 🤗

You´re most welcome to stink up my askbox with your novels (my goodness 😅) whenever. 😘

Plenty of brain maggots these days, indeed. Still catching up on everything that´s been going on these past few months, but I´m determined. 💪😤

"Most recent update" would be about...6 months ago, yes? With Momma sticking her tongue down holes that are absolutely not meant for tongues? 😅

Like that will stop her, puh-lease.

(Sweet Momma was legit making an effort though, with every sinister fibre of that rotten being. That´s all that matters! 😔✊)

So, first of all: Yes, when Momma opens that maw of hers, it´s safe to say that it is not pleasant. (Depending on her most recent meal too, obv.) It smells as you would expect something that´s rotting to smell: rotten. As for the flavor-

Excuse me.

You got the visuals down to a T here (don´t get me started on that tongue, though-), so I think yall can imagine the absolute...interesting taste of that. You also very correctly stated the (very obvious) lack of dental hygiene...which, no, nope, absolutely not-

Like that will stop her, puh-lease.

I´m not sure how yet, but we will find a way to handle this, handle Momma. Even if it means we gotta strap her down, pry those nasty-looking jaws open with a crowbar, and brush those knife-like teeth ourselves-

And lose an arm or two in the process.

Listen, our Drama Queen will fight tooth and nail, ram yet another pair of scissors through that skull if she has to, hell she´d be willing to negotiate on that one, too.

...Negotiating as in: Our Drama Queen is not gonna jump out of the nearest window and to her certain death, if those stained lips land anywhere that isn´t the mouth.

Well, that´s alright, Maggot Momma´s more than happy moving those stained lips of hers further down-

...BUT, I digress. You´re here for the actual taste. 😏

Okay so, if I had to describe the taste of that, I´d say it´s a combination of both spicy and salty, mixed with foul eggs, a metallic note, and a hint of something sickly sweet - a bit like cotton candy, actually. Then there´s the added bonus of getting to share bits and pieces of-

All in all, it´d be a rather sticky matter probably. 🫠

How can you say "No" to that face, though?

Thanks a lot for that ask. ❤️

[rosencrantzsguildenstern]

Minami and Tsumugi (both i7) for the bingo? ^__^

you've actually successfully selected 2 of my favorite i7 characters!

tsumugi:

TSUMUGIIII she's legit like. ok i think i have a weird relation to i7 because aside from one episode of oshi no ko and like. the fever dream of watching bakumatsu rock with no context. it was my first idol anime and i didn't play the gacha or really get the mechanics/culture (like i straight up was expecting girl idols to be introduced (aya ur my only hope...) because i didn't know the genre was typically gender split. and actually pretty frequently u will see one girl or one guy but not in this case!) . anyway so i didn't immediately see her as a supporting character but more as the shoujo protagonist, imprinted on her, and began a quest for Tsumugi Screentime. i think canon treats her really well and she's a fun character but she could have so much more.

i really like her dynamics with a lot of characters that u can see in the rabbitchats... i like how she talks in emojis, i like her and momo and her and tamaki, i like her workaholicness and weird responses and that one time she couldn't do math, i'm FASCINATED by the parallels with kujo she gets occasionally, i'm also really interested in the takanashi family as in i would really enjoy more takapapa-tsumugi-banri fluff, and my favorite little thing about her is that she says she's working out/getting buff in case anything happens to idolish7 (you're going to punch someone about it? go girl. i also like her running thread about working out she has in general lol. small but mighty)

fandom doesn't understand her: i think she's aro. majority of tsumugi fans like her and gaku. i don't have major beef with this though they're cute

minami:

minami i think about you every DAYYYYY i rotate you in my brain. his slimey energy is appealing. his 16idol makes me sick. he's the most attractive character out of the main cast though if i had to date any of them im staying far away from him and going with ryuu. he drives me crazy. hes actually not that horrible of a person bc he doesn't make good on any of his threats except doing zool things with ryou? but i think he thinks he is and that's fascinating. he's pulling on the edge of a leash that was tied to a pole when he was very young and he could untie but he won't he just slowly lets others let out the length. and one day he'll die or wait no that's sogo. one day minami will kill someone. he went through a midlife crisis at 14. he's a penguin expert. i'm deeply obsessed with him

[a-hell-of-a-time]

((Drabble time, featuring Andre, Caim, and some bad decisions that would make Vassago and Stolas proud-

Under a read more for length.))

"I assume you already know why I'm here?" Andre and Caim were currently in the dining area of his mansion, the air between them tense.

"I know he wants me gone, and he sent you to do it, right?"

"It was either myself, or the king resorting to less than ideal means. Not that you can't handle yourself."

"Damn right, though honestly all of this is needless. You and I both know I never wanted this life, or anything pertaining to it; I took on my role and place because my father had no other choice or option. If I could give it away, I could."

"Then why not do so? I was sent here to strip you of your title, property, and everything that ties you to us. In doing so you would be excommunicated and be free to live on Earth with Yui and do as you please."

"...so you're saying that you will take it all on, while I never have to set foot in Hell again?" It sounded too good to be true, but there was a problem. "...and what of you? If I can no longer enter Hell, I will be unable to see you."

Andre paused. "...that is true, and is the price to be paid from this arrangement. However, no one said that I cannot come to you."

"Won't this put you at risk of incurring Paimon's wrath?"

"Perhaps, but have we not been doing so this entire time already? The visits will simply be less frequent."

Caim, upon hearing this, lightly shook her head. "To think that you would go to such lengths, even after I...broke off our engagement."

She let out a sigh. "I had never intended to hurt you, and had I known that it would-"

Andre held up a hand. "We've already went over this, and I forgave you, did I not? Our friendship remains intact, so we need not rehash old matters."

"No, we do. I know you're still hurting, Andre, and no amount of words will convince me otherwise. I know what I did broke your heart, and is the reason why you have avoided others for so long." This prompted a surprised look from the marquis, but she continued. "I know you've forgiven me and that we continue to remain close, but that doesn't excuse things. Had I known, I would have went through with it."

"But you would have been miserable," Andre said quietly. "You would not have been happy with me, not when you had Yui waiting for you. To go through with the arrangement just to spare my feelings would have ruined us, not unlike my sister and the Prince." Granted the pair didn't care for each other from the start, but they tried to fake it, only for it to blow up on them both. He never wanted that for himself, or for Caim.

"...I won't deny that it hurts, and that there aren't issues that need to be addressed, but I have come to accept it."

She remained quiet as he spoke, her eyes closing as she thought about what to say next. "If you have, then promise me you won't let that pain sabotage your happiness. You may be an asshole at times, and a scheming one built for the bullshit that is Goetian politics, but even you deserve to be happy." Opening her eyes, Caim fixed him with a stare. "If you can promise me that, I will hand over everything to you."

"Weren't you going to do so anyway?" he asked with a slightly cheeky grin that earned him an eye roll. "But in all seriousness, I will promise you that. In fact, I have already acted upon it."

"So I've heard~ This guy seems to be legit, but if he ever hurts you, or you do something stupid to ruin this, I will kick both your asses."

"Alright, alright. Nothing is going to happen."

"Good."

A moment of comfortable silence fell on the pair, broken only by a sigh as Caim reached for a pen. "Now is there any paperwork for this, or will verbal consent work."

Andrealphus gave a wave of his hand, and a small portal opened to dump a hefty stack of papers onto the dining table. "Paperwork, as per custom."

"Because why would it be anything else?" she asked with a roll of her eyes.

As she signed the documents one by one, Andrealphus spoke. "Though, you know, I have another idea in mind."

This caught her attention, her pen hovering just above another dotted line. "Do go on."

"You mentioned before that yourself and Yui wished for a child."

"...yes, I did. Unfortunately we couldn't find a suitable donor that wasn't a complete asshole."

"What if I said I had a solution to that issue?"

Caim's eyes widened. "You don't mean-"

"I will be the father, if that is agreeable to both of you."

"...Of course, but why-?"

"You know that I do not have an heir, and that was the whole point of our previous engagement. As it stands I have no one to pass my title and property onto aside from my niece. However, she will bear the burden of Stolas's legacy, and I do not wish to add my own to it. This is especially so since relations between Via and my sister are...not great.

Therefore, it would be best for me to have an heir of my own." He paused for a moment. "Of course I do not intend to marry or reproduce with another goetian woman anytime soon, and if I had to, I would prefer it be you."

Caim said nothing at first, staring at Andre with wide eyes. Eventually, she spoke up. "And how would this work, exactly? If this heir is to be legitimate, it would require marriage, and Paimon does not want me around in any capacity. Furthermore, this child would have our blood, which would further anger him. Besides, I am signing away all my ties to the goetia."

"With regard to the ties, once the paperwork is complete you will be an outsider. The marriage would be a private affair and in name only, to reduce the chance of it getting out.

As for the child, we could raise them jointly across both realms."

"And if Paimon finds out?"

"I'll deal with that as it arises. For now, simply having this paperwork done will be enough to appease him, for it is exactly as he wishes; you are being stripped of everything and will be sent back to the human world to do as you please. Everything you own will then come to me, and I shall hang onto it until the child is old enough to get it. Or I could give it to another.

The marriage and child arrangement is separate from this and will be carried out on the side."

As she listened, a smirk crossed her beak. "And here I thought you wouldn't have the balls to go against the hierarchy. What changed?"

Andrealphus shrugged. "I do not wish to be tied down to another goetia, or have marriage candidates chosen for me. I will decide for myself who I shall be with, and who my heir will be." He knew being with Vassago would cause an uproar, but Andre was happy and had no desire to marry another just to save face.

"...very well, then I accept. But let's wait a while until this," she gestured to the paperwork, "is taken care of. We can talk later."

"Then it is done."

Once the last paper was signed, Andrealphus collected the stack before opening a portal to her home. "You are now free. I wish you well."

Caim rose from her chair, smiling to Andre. "I do have one last request."

"Which is?"

"Let my old man continue to live in the manor. I've been letting him stay there since I took over, and he need not be homeless." She paused for a moment. "Paimon left the decision of who to give it all to, correct?"

"Yes."

"You could always give it back to him, or to a relative of his if they are trustworthy. I think our child will be just fine with your inheritance." With that Caim left through the portal, leaving Andrealphus alone.

[umbraastaff]

2 (Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?), 13 (what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?), 14 (What is your most and least favorite part of writing?), and 40 (If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?), please :O? -ise

from get to know your fic writer! send q's ;)

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

Depends a little on the fic, but I generally like to know overall structure before I get into anything big enough for multiple chapters! for I Saw Seven Bounties for example, that was pretty episodic so I didn't know what every chapter was specifically going to be, even though I knew the ending. for Trapped In Active Depart on the other hand, I do know all of the scenes that will be in it, but there's room for extra if I get sudden inspiration :)

13. What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

Huh... the thing about varying sentence length/structure, maybe? I think I'm pretty good at that - though maybe just by being the king of egregious not-technically-run-on sentences.

14. How do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

I definitely have the easiest time writing characters I can relate to better, so I'd say I draw from personal experiences. However, I'm somewhat inclined towards... like, detachment? So an experience I frequently have is feeling completely normal about writing something and then getting responses that are like "WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SO SAD" and I'm like oh right that is sad. Damn. You're welcome?

27. What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

most: finding character voice in both dialogue & narration! i like matching the source tone and playing around in it least: wdym i have to make a "coherent" "plot"

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

UM that's hard because I'm legit so delighted by any fanart!!! But if I had to think of scenes I think would be interesting visually...? Barry & Kravitz's fight on the train in ISSB has fun stuff in it, and uh, Time Belt has cool aesthetics! TIAD has stuff I'd call out too but it'll be a while :)c

[standupcomedyhistorian]

Holy shit.

I was going through my old screenshots pre-Pandemic, and I came across a part of my Twitter history I had completely forgotten.

So, as I had written about at length in my recounting of the history of Bo Burnham Historian, one part of my social media past was running a parody Rocko's Modern Life account in 2019.

Called Rocko's Thoughts, it was pretty easy to set up. Every tweet was "_____ is a very dangerous day," with the blank filled in with whatever stupid Twitter holiday it was that day (Like "National Hot Dog Day is a very dangerous day.").

So I did this from January 2019 until January 2020 when I completely abandoned the account and never really tweeted again frequently until BBH/UBBH.

But that's just background for the absolutely bizarre thing that happened to Rocko's Thoughts.

So, I had amassed a moderate following of 23 people, but I would get replies to my very basic tweets from people trying to actually converse with the nervous wallaby. I assume most were young or perhaps mentally impaired, but I'd respond back in character, saying "mate" and stuff since Rocko is Australian.

HOWEVER, there was one freak I never replied to...that would be Terri.

Oh, I'm sorry—her full name on Twitter was this weird mix of emojis:

Terri⚖️⚜️🎶🎸✌️🌴

This was legit my exact train of thought about if I should follow or interact with my BIGGEST fan who made a pretty cute thesaurus joke (definitely appealing to my word nerd self):

Me: So, that seems pretty innocent, right? Maybe a bit more law-focused than I would have preferred from Rocko’s followers, but Terri seems like she wants to rock out and hang at the beach. Cool!

Let’s read a bit further before I decide to follow one of the few people to interact with Rocko.

Hmm…

@ LilPolkSalad

Me: That’s fine. Who doesn’t have a weird handle…maybe she’s a fan of James Polk and veggies? I’m still onboard, but there’s this weird list of sentences (?) and hashtags. Okay, let’s check THOSE out.

Cotton sharecropper’s granddaughter.

Me: Huh…

Indndependent.

Me: Okay, typo isn’t helping here…

Patriot.

Me: Oh no, no…

MBA, JD, LL. M.

Me: Well, that explains the scales at least…

#AmericaFirst 🇺🇸

Me: Can this get any worse? Now I’m just curious…

#DrainTheSwamp

Me: Ah, there it is. What else ya got, you right-wing nut job lover of a Nicktoon character from the nineties?

#TermLimits

Me: Ugh…do these people know you don’t need to capitalize the letters in a hashtag?

🚫#FakeNews #MSM

Me: Okay, this is definitely like my mother who calls anything but Fox News “the lapdog media.”

Um…do you think Terri ever realized that “no” could be accomplished by just writing “No”? I mean, she’s written a novel already in her freakin’ Twitter bio.

So, long story short, Terri is now undoubtedly a member of Moms for Liberty, harassing school board members and burning books that say gay people exist.

And, no, I did NOT interact with or follow her. 🤘💙🌈🪩🏳️‍🌈✌️

[belovedblabber]

the locked tomb! or if someone already asked, dragon age!

Thank youuuu for asking!

Favorite Male Character: It's John, we all know it's John. I stand by my cancelled wife <3

Favorite Female Character: I legit do not know how to answer this because that list is, so long and frequently neck and neck but today while zoning out I ended up thinking about Harrow and had a resurgence of how much I adore her so I'll say Harrow rn!

Least Favorite Character: I'm not sure honestly, I don't really think I have one? Maybe currently Paul just because we don't know them very well yet and also I'm so mad to have lost Pal and Cam so let's go with Paul

Favorite Ship: This is another tough one oh god. I love Harrow/Gideon, and Harrow/Ianthe, and Gideon/Ianthe in a 'gay sex won't fix this situation in fact it may make it worse but I think we should give it a shot anyway' sorta way fghj. Idk if that last one is a ship or a 'I think they make each other worse and I love that' thing. Also between Gideon/Harrow and Ianthe/Harrow I like. Gideon/Harrow more in terms of just pure shippines, I guess? I want them to be happy and kiss but I'm aware that may be a tall order. I'm terrible at answering ship questions especially with this series dfghj. Also the entire dios apate trio situation is just the absolute tastiest although I've been thinking a lot about John and Augustine in particular lately I think just because that's where my brain is kicking around atm. I love them, obsessed with that fucked up lil' jaugustine dynamic it makes my brain spin

Favorite Friendship: Gideon and Palamedes, I know we didn't get to see much of that dynamic but what we did see was so sweet and I love it. Also Harrow and Palamedes. I LOVE Palamedes he's up there as one of my fave characters

Favorite Quote: This one is just cruel I have so many I legit cannot pick. But currently I have the whole quote that ends in "Something will satisfy them eventually, but nothing satisfies me. Nothing" stuck in my head and am wanting to draw smth from it so I'll just go with that, John that was sooo sexy of u babygirl. (Also "Is that the truth, or the truth you tell yourself?" "What is the difference?" said God'" hit me like a sack of bricks the first time I read it and continues to do so. But I also have so many other fave quotes asdfg, I just need to leave it off here or I'll write a novel length list of them).

Worst Character Death (if any): This one is ALSO hard but I will say that the one that shocked me the most was honestly Jeannemary. After that it was hard to rattle me although oh god Gideon's death at the end of GtN did have me crying

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment: When I read the NtN preview on amazon and saw that it opened with a John thing and I got so excited that I shrieked out loud alone in my dark room and then messaged my partner rapid fire while literally vibrating and then was so jazzed that I couldn't sleep. Because I'm a freak.

Saddest Moment: How do I pick? The one freshest in my head is the creation of Paul because OUCH

Favorite Location: Canaan house, I love the vibes in a way I can't articulate

[primaryred]

(Still selective) Genshin characters and what kind of hs students I think they would be pt. 2

part uno

notey-chan: I’m sorry for the 4 month wait. I’ve put this off for too long. I have no regrets writing this. Fuck genshin impact I wanted Yae die Ayato. Kazuha rerun pls. Unfortunately this may have less spirit since I’m not writing this whilst I’m shifting my brains out.

warnings: cursing / nsfw / drugs / infrequent hcs / spelling errors?/ hs topics / favoritism (esp on Kokomi’s part sorry not sorry) / gay gay gay lesbian homo ppl

Ei/ Yae

-Ei is a language arts teacher and Yae is the hot librarian

-I have a feeling Ei wanted to b a history teacher but Zhongli was ready to fight for that spot (boomer thingz)

-So she settled for language arts

-I also think that she’d teach fencing for some fancy defined art like that as a side gig

-Now, hear me out: Ei runs a book club with Yae

-Ei and Yae are childhood best friends

-Yae supervises the student council and they all confide in her a lot

-Kaeya and Childe have definitely hit on Yae or Ei more than a couple of times

-Ei’s legit 🤏 this close to suspending them

-Yae def knows abt Kazuha’s drug business. But she’s chill about it

-She probably helped him name it (some poetry shit (love that pot 🍃))

-Ei forgets her umbrella a lot and Yae always brings an extra for her

-They give each other chocolates during Valentine’s Day (tell the students “it’s a formality” but we all know that isn’t true)

-Yae prides herself on keeping her library clean and pretty

- all of the staff are scared of her

-Ei unironiclly stops Venti in the hallways while school alr started bc she thinks he’s a student

-Yeah, Ei and Yae both hate Venti

Arataki Numero Uno Itto

-MEANCE

-Sets camp in the detention room

-He probs has a designated desk w a name plate for him IN GOLD bc “silver isn’t manly”

-He’s tried to make a “fighting” club but the school wouldn’t allow it so he settled on Judo

-Probably tries to learn a new language if he finds out a foreign exchange student will be transferring

-Puts his feet on his desk

-Notorious virgin. Like even if a student was desperate they’d stay a good 37 feet away from him

-He has a gang, but he doesn’t beat people up

-Worse thing they’ve done was accidentally break a classroom window while trying to decide who can throw the biggest rocks

-Anytime a teacher assigns a project he tries to convince them if he can make it into a video to show the class

-Sara is contemplating a transfer

Kokomi

-IK she has a fan club. Half of the student body is in it. Literally no shame

-She’d slay in karaoke

-Would unintentionally start trends too like??? First week of school everyone dyed their hair pink and blue

-She prefers manga over anime. Reads TBHK and AOT

-Cuts her hair shoulder length frequently but her hair grows back so fast

-Marine science specialist. Also an advocate for all sea animals. Makes PowerPoints and everything

-She has like whales, starfishes, and whatever charms on her school bag

-Rich

-Has a wide food pallet. Like she is able to properly judge food with an extensive review

-She has taken some self defense classes, but gorou refuses to let her walk alone at night.

-He’ll probably go to war for her (even tho he alr has)

-Kokomi definitely has great comebacks. no one picks fights w her

-really nothing negative to say about her except her hyperfixation on sea animals

Albedooo

-brings the game frfr

-unintentionally

-he wants nothing to do w 80% of the students there. but SOMEHOW he attracts them all (kinda like komi’s brother or Saiki)

-he reads nerdy shit like the periodic table for f-fun 🤢

-yeah a chemistry nerd

-the only time he ever involved himself with school activities is when it has to do w science. And he’d always bring up some crazy theory that makes sense

-victim of TikTok challenges

-Kaeya definitely stopped him in the middle of the hallway, put his phone up to his mouth and asked him what song he was listening too

-only kid with actual academic potential. he could graduate early if he wanted to

-always does unauthorized experiments in the school laboratory (with sucrose or someone bc he doesn’t want to get in trouble alone)

-if the school ever held like a fitness/sports event he’d do extremely well in track or fencing. Like he’s innately athletic

-agreed to become class treasurer and head of the chemistry club after constant begging from many of the students

-brings an extra large coffee to school and ACTUALLY finishes it

-his style is a whole vibe tbh

[dreamingofaizawa]

Guys My Age

Title and concept inspo: Guys My Age by Hey Violet

Soft Dom! Aizawa Shouta x Medium-sized Fem! Reader

Quirkless AU

***18+ Fic***

You must be at least 18 years old to participate in this reading. If you are under the age of 18 please step out of line and find another fic. Thank you and have a good day.

Warnings: Age gap, praise kink, DD/LG dynamic and terms, use of the words daddy and sir, light bondage, overstimulation, smut. 

Word Count: 4.1k

Author’s Note: I KNOW, I know, I write a lot of Aizawa fics, and they’re all DD/LG stuff. I know, okay? It’s an obsession, I’m in love with this man. Anyway, another soft dom Aizawa, but reader isn’t very well-versed in intimacy. Also, reader is what some would call medium-sized. Not necessarily big, but definitely not small. This is for all my medium-sized girls, including myself. I was very self-indulgent with this one.

Part 2

Enjoy~

*

*

*

You’d always been told you were mature for your age. It wasn’t until recently you realized how true that statement might be. You’re currently 21. And very, very single. You’ve had a total of six different relationships, and all of them fell through for one very simple reason. The boys you dated were just that. Boys. They were extremely immature. Only ever wanting to ‘hang with the boys’ or stay at home. No effort was put into the relationship on their part after the first few weeks. You didn’t understand why these vastly different boys were all so adamant on staying inside.

You’d tried desperately to get them to go out on dates with you. You offered to pay, and drive, and literally anything else. But no, they were too busy playing video games or getting higher than the damn sky. Don’t even start thinking about sex. You hadn’t got any of that shit since your first ‘boyfriend’ at 17, who used you like a sex doll and broke it off once he found someone hotter and sexier and altogether better in his eyes. You were sick of it. So you did the last thing you’d ever want to do. You went on a blind date.

You’d stumbled on a website last week that allowed you to set up a blind date with a stranger. It seemed legit, and had background checks on all participants. It also allowed you to put in any preferences you had, and matched you with someone that had similar preferences and hobbies. The age range you put in? 30-35 years old. Because guys your age just didn’t cut it. You needed someone more mature, someone who could treat you like a woman, not some girl.

Today, almost a week after matching with someone, you were standing outside an italian restaurant. You didn’t know his face, just his name and age, and that he was a teacher. Aizawa Shouta, 31 years old. And he’d sent a single message when you matched.

Meet me at this location on Saturday. When you enter, I’ll be at the back corner table. Semi-formal. 8 pm, please don’t be late.

It was blunt and straightforward. You liked it. You just hoped he wasn’t quite this blunt in person. You’d put on a black knee-length cocktail dress with a halter top and a partially open back that fell to the small of your back. It accentuated your shoulders and the top half of your torso before fanning out at your waist, the silky material falling and swaying around you. 

You slipped on simple white heels and silver jewelry, with a white clutch purse. You’d decided to pull your hair into a loose half-up half-down, a silver comb pinning your hair in place, minimal makeup and clear lip gloss. For the first time in a while you felt pretty. You knew you weren’t exactly small, but the way you were dressed gave you confidence.

You looked at your watch. 7:55 pm. You took a deep breath, straightened out your dress, and stepped into the restaurant. The host asked if you had a reservation, and you told him you were meeting someone who already arrived. He let you pass, and you walked back to the table Aizawa told you to meet at. He had his back to you as you approached, but you could see his broad shoulders and muscular frame easily. 

He wore a white long-sleeve button down, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a black vest fitted to his form. His slacks were also fitted, showing off his muscular thighs. His long raven hair was pulled in a half-up half-down similar to yours. You hadn’t even seen his face yet and he looked delicious.

Your heels clacked on the wood flooring, and as you neared the booth he turned to look at you. You stopped next to the table and got a good look at the stranger. He was beautiful. His dark bloodshot eyes looked tired, the bags underneath giving him away and only adding to his appeal, and a scar curved under his right eye. A sharp jawline, with a tamed scruff, and thin lips in a neutral expression. You were about to introduce yourself, but he stood from the booth and held his hand out, palm up. “You must be (y/l/n) (y/n).” You smiled at the gesture, and placed your hand in his. “That’s me. And you are Aizawa Shouta. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He pulled your hand to his lips and placed a kiss on your knuckles, before leading you to your seat.

As he sat down, you noticed a bottle of wine sitting in the center of the table in a bucket of ice, and two glasses of wine halfway full. One sat in front of you, and the other in front of Aizawa. He began the conversation with a rather specific question. “So, (y/l/n), why are you on a dating website looking for men that are so much older than you?” Normally you’d take offense to a question like that, but the way he said it was pure curiosity. So, you answered. “If I’m being honest, it’s actually pretty simple. Guys my age just don’t know how to treat me.”

He raised an eyebrow at that, a barely noticeable smirk tugging at his lips. “And how do you want to be treated?” You smiled a little at the implications behind the question, and answered. “I don’t want to be stuck in my room while my ‘boyfriend’ plays video games and smokes weed. I don’t want to be ‘one of the boys’, and I don’t want to have to plead and beg to go on a date or spend time with him. I want to be treated like a woman, not a girl. And I want to spend my time with a man, not waste it on a boy.” 

At that, Aizawa smirked and sipped at his wine. You both took a quick look at the menu and ordered when the waiter came. As you ate, you talked about random subjects and hit it off quite well. The date went by quickly, and at the end of the night you’d exchanged numbers. “I look forward to another date with you, Ms. (y/l/n).” “The feeling is mutual, Mr. Aizawa.” 

When you got back home, you undressed and cleaned your face and got into bed. As you lay there, your mind drifted back to the date, and how undeniably handsome Aizawa is. The way he spoke to you like you were his equal, and looking at you like an ancient treasure. He was everything you wanted, without even considering anything sexual. Little did you know he felt much the same way.

____

When the date ended he texted Hizashi to let him know he was free. Hizashi, of course, called him immediately, and began drilling him about the date. “How’d it go Sho? Was it a rando with a thing for older guys? Did she want a sugar daddy?” Shouta rolled his eyes. “No, Zashi, she wasn’t looking for a sugar daddy. She was...actually really mature for a 21 year old. She knows what she wants. I admire that a little. And I won’t lie, she’s quite beautiful. Not the generic, model, beauty-pageant, barbie doll pretty. It’s a natural glow she has. It’s...quite mesmerizing...”

Hizashi exploded on the other side, laughing at the new infatuation his friend had for a blind date. “I hope she’s your type, Sho. I mean physically. I know how much you like them with a little meat on their bones.” Aizawa groaned at his comment. He knew he was just teasing, but that his blonde friend was 100% right. He knew he had a type, and he’d be lying to himself if he hadn’t looked at your full figure quite frequently. 

He’d taken in your dress, how it showed off your shoulders and back. As you climbed into your car and took off your heels, he trailed his eyes up your legs, getting a small glimpse at your thick thighs. When you sat up behind the wheel, he revelled in the small rolls showing through your dress, wanting nothing more than to squeeze them and kiss them and bite them...

He shook away the thoughts that were threatening to take over his mind. “Shut it Hizashi. Her body is none of my concern, and is most definitely none of yours. I enjoyed the date and that’s what matters.” The loud blonde gasped dramatically, “Oh my god she totally is! Damn you go get some Sho!” Aizawa just ended the call.

*

*

*

The next date was planned once again by Aizawa, and it was only a week after the first. It was a simple coffee date at a small cafe. You talked casually about the things you enjoyed doing. You convinced him to let you take care of the next date, which you decided would be a relaxed ramen date. You’d gotten comfortable around each other, and after about six more dates, he invited you over to his place for dinner. Of course, you accepted.

He’d sent you the address and apartment number, and you stood outside his door in dark jeans, black flats, and a beige sweater with a white tank top underneath. You knocked on the door, and when it opened he greeted you with a peck on the cheek. It had become a normal greeting, since you’d gotten so close, though the gesture always made you a little shy. He told you to get comfortable as he finished up dinner, and you sat at the kitchen table and admired him as he worked in the kitchen. He wore fitted blue denim jeans, and a black cotton t-shirt, his hair pulled up in a bun. 

No matter how many times you looked at him, he was always just as shockingly handsome as the first time you saw him. His t-shirt left his toned arms exposed, and it was fitted to his torso, showing off his muscular frame. Your eyes traced the outline of his muscles from his shoulder, down his arm, drifting to his hips and up his back. You didn’t notice him glance back and smirk at you. “Like what you see kitty cat?” Heat rushed to your face at the realization that you’d been staring, and the fact that he’d noticed. And that name… “K-kitty?” you barely whispered, before quickly apologizing. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.”

You didn’t think he heard the first part. You were wrong. “It’s alright. And yes, kitty. Don’t like the pet name?” Your face burned at the tone of his voice. “N-no, the name’s fine, you just...caught me off guard.” He chuckled. “I should do it more often. You’re cute when you’re flustered.” You didn’t think your face could get any hotter, but it did. You tilted your head down and away from him and bit your lip, letting your hair fall to hide your face. You’d never gotten this kind of attention before, and you had no idea how to handle it.

You were too busy trying to calm your breathing to hear him approach you. The proximity and demanding tone of his voice made you jump a little. “Look at me, kitten.” You swallowed and took a breath before turning your head to him, and he hooked a finger under your chin, tilting your head so you were forced to sit up taller. He moved even closer, your shoulder brushing against his abdomen, and you nearly had to look straight up to look in his eyes. 

Your eyes began to drift away from his, and he jerked your chin up higher, silently commanding you not to look away. You brought your eyes back to his and held his gaze, and after a few moments he smirked. The hand under your chin moved to stroke your cheek with his knuckles. “Good girl.”

He quickly dropped his hand and went back to the kitchen to finish preparing dinner. It took you a few seconds to let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You panted a little, trying to calm yourself from what just happened, and clasped your shaking hands together. But they weren’t shaking from fear. In fact, you couldn’t quite tell why you were so shaky and out of breath. And the praise from him sent a shiver down your spine.

He managed to distract you while you ate, and you had completely recovered from whatever that was earlier. After dinner you moved into the living room and relaxed on the couch while you talked some more. Soon he’d leaned his head back and closed his eyes, still talking and listening, but clearly relaxed. Once again you found yourself distracted by his body, following the muscles in his neck down to his toned chest and abdomen. And again, he noticed. “I can feel your eyes on me, kitten.” His voice was low, a rumble of smooth baritone. You found yourself turning away to hide your face again, and the command in his voice controlled you with ease. 

“Don’t look away from me, kitten.” You turned back to him, and when your eyes met his, you looked away, and he let out a low growl and your eyes snapped back to him. He adjusted and sat up, your eyes still fixed on each other. He pat his leg, “Come here kitty.” You blinked at him, not quite prepared for such a demand. His eyes darkened a little and his voice dropped to a growl, “I won’t ask twice.” 

At that you got up and went to sit on one of his legs, but he pulled his knees together and shook his head. So you climbed over and straddled his legs on your knees. He grabbed your hips and pulled you so you were fully sitting on his lap, your core dangerously close to his growing bulge.

Your eyes were still locked on his as he leaned close to you, his hands rubbing circles into your hips.  He leaned past your face and whispered into your ear. “Can I touch you kitty?” You took a shaky breath and nodded. He laid a light spank on your ass and you jumped. “Use your words kitty cat.” “Y-yes, you can t-touch me.” He laid a kiss on your neck and whispered ‘good girl’ before moving his hands under your sweater and tank top. He ran his hands up and down your back, and he gripped the fatty flesh of your stomach and hips, kneading it in his palms gently as he worked his way up your body, leaving feather light kisses along your neck and jaw.

The intimacy had you quivering, and the way he nearly worshipped your body had your breaths coming out shaky and heavy. Shouta caught on quickly. “Is it safe for me to assume you haven’t done anything in a while?” he said in your ear. You started to nod, but quickly caught yourself, “Y-yes.” He stilled his movements and wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. “Tell me what you did before this.” You took a breath and explained the situation as simply and quickly as possible.

His arms tensed, clearly upset that you’d been used like that. But he didn’t pry into that right now. “So you haven’t explored anything? Like any preferences you might have?” You shook your head quickly, “N-no...why?” He chuckled. “Well, kitty, you’re quite submissive. If you’d let me, I can help you explore this side of you.” You swallowed and nodded. “Y-yeah, I think I’d like that.” He hummed into your neck, “We can start tonight, but only if you’re comfortable and you want to.” You took a few moments to think about your answer. This man had been nothing but good to you. He treated you with more respect than all the boys you dated had combined. And you trusted him. “I...I’m comfortable starting tonight.”

“Alright kitty. Now, listen to me closely, because this is important, okay?” “Okay, I’m listening.” “Good. Since this is new to you, we need to establish a safeword. Is ‘roses’ alright?” You nod. “Okay. Now if anything ever gets too much for you, if you feel uncomfortable for any reason, if you need to stop for any reason, or if there’s a medical emergency, you need to use it. And that goes for me too. If I don’t like where things are going, I’ll use it. Once we use the safeword, everything will stop right there, no questions asked. Understand?”

“I understand.” “Okay. Can I trust you to use it if you feel the need to?” You nod, “Yes. I’ll use it if I need to.” He kisses your neck, “Good girl.” The praise makes you shudder, and you feel him smile into your neck. “Now, kitty, I want you to address me as either ‘Daddy’, ‘Sir’, or ‘Master’ when we’re like this, do you understand?” “Yes.” He spanks you a little harder. “Yes what?” You jump at the contact “Y-yes Sir.” Another kiss on your neck, “Good girl.” He leans back and taps your arms, “Up.” You lift your arms and he pulls off your sweater and tank top at the same time. 

His hands come back down on your shoulders, and he runs his hands down your chest and stomach, taking the time to remove your bra and knead your breasts. He wraps his arms around you and stands up, and you wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist as he carries you to his bedroom. He puts you down on the bed on your back and takes a rope out of the bedside table. You let him take your hands and tie your wrists to the bar at the headboard. It’s not uncomfortably tight, but a few experimental tugs tell you it’s solid and you won’t be getting out of it unless he unties you.

He trails kisses down your body, unbuttoning your jeans and removing them as he goes. Once your jeans are off, he loops his fingers in the band of your panties and pulls them off. After that, he leans back and just rakes his eyes up and down your body, eating up every inch of your skin. “You’re such a pretty kitty.” His words have you shuddering and blushing. You’d never been called pretty before, and you knew why. You were a little bigger than other girls. You weren’t necessarily insecure about it. You didn’t care all that much about how people saw you with just your looks alone. But you knew Shouta was admiring your body after knowing who you are as a person, and it made you a little giddy.

His mouth and hands were all over you, squeezing and groping, sucking bruises onto your skin. His touches were sending waves of heat through your body, and pooling between your legs. You desperately wanted him to touch you there, and you whined and rolled your hips up into the air. “Such a needy kitty. Be patient. I’m not done here yet.” He rolled a nipple in between his index and thumb, pulling the other into his mouth and teasing it with his tongue. You mewled at the sensation, and he switched his mouth over to the other side.

Your legs were rubbing together, begging for friction, and he finally moved down to your dripping core. He took a finger and slipped it over your folds. He groaned as his finger collected your slick, “You’re so wet kitty. Are you this wet for me?” You nodded your head frantically, and he laid a light smack on your pussy. You let out a soft whimper, “Yes Sir, it’s for you,” you answered quickly. He hummed, “Good girl. I didn’t even need to remind you to use your words.” He kissed the inside of your thigh, and moved to lick a stripe up your folds. You gasped at the new feeling, never having anyone’s mouth down there before.

He slipped the pink muscle into you easily, groaning when he tasted you. The sound sent vibrations through your dripping cunt, making you squirm at the pleasure. He looped his arms around your legs, dipping his fingers into your core and using the slick to rub tight circles onto your clit. An unfamiliar sensation built in the pit of your stomach, your muscles tightening in your abdomen as it got stronger. You knit your eyebrows together, and in between heavy breaths you gasped out, “S-sir...it feels strange.” He raised his eyebrows at the statement, and increased his pace until that coil inside you snapped, which didn’t take very long.

Your back arched off the bed as you let out a loud, sharp moan, your legs shaking from the intensity of your first orgasm. Aizawa kept lapping at your pussy, letting you ride out your high, and once you were relaxed and panting on the bed, he lifted his head and wiped his chin. “Kitty, have you never cum before?” He asked, a small smirk tugging at his lips. You shake your head, “No S-sir...Is that what just happened?” He chuckled, but didn’t answer the question, “You’re going to have fun tonight kitty.” You didn’t have time to question what he meant, though, because he slipped a thick finger into your core, and you mewled as your walls clenched down on him.

The game he played went on for what felt like hours, and you lost count of how many times he’s made you cum. He’d fucked you and cum multiple times himself. You’d already squirted several times, and tears were streaming down your face from the overstimulation. It felt so good, but it was starting to melt your brain and the title of ‘Sir’ drifted to ‘Daddy’ as it went on. All the muscles in your body were burning from flexing so hard, and your wrists were feeling raw from how hard you’d been tugging at your restraints. It felt so, so good...but it was too much. He leaned down close to your face and kissed at the tears, “You’re doing so well babygirl. You got one more for me?” 

You giggled lightly at the praise, your mind fuzzy, unable to form coherent thoughts as he thrust his hips into you. He stilled his movements and caressed your jaw. “How are you feeling, kitten?” Your eyes looked up into his, struggling to stay open. You giggled a little as you answered. “It’s… I f-feel…” You knit your eyebrows together in concentration, searching your brain. “R-roses?”

Everything stopped, and he instantly reached up and tugged off your restraints, and pulled your exhausted body close to his chest. Your breathing got heavier, and your chest got tight, and fresh tears fell down your cheeks. He held you tight, kissing your tears and petting your hair as your cries died down. He held you like that until your breathing was normal again. You slowly opened your eyes, weakly calling out to him, “Daddy?” He kissed your forehead, “I’m right here kitten. Tell me what you need.” You nuzzled your head into his neck and mumbled, “Water. Can I have water?” He wrapped you in a soft blanket and stood up, carrying you with him. “Anything for my kitten.”

He set you on the counter and made a glass of iced water, holding it up to your lips. As you sipped, he rubbed your back and kissed your forehead and neck, and he didn’t stop or move until you had drained the cup. He left it in the sink and picked you up again, taking you to the bathroom and filling the tub with warm water. He turned off the tap, took off your blanket, and carried you into the tub. He washed the both of you, massaging your scalp, and you let out a sound like a pur, which he smiled at.

When he was done, he stood you up and wrapped you in a fluffy towel, dried himself with one, and carried you back to bed. You curled into him, and he wrapped his arms around you. “Are you okay (y/n)?” You nodded into his chest, “Yeah, I’m okay. It was just intense.” You could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke, “Thank you for using the safeword. You did so well for me kitten, trusting me like that.” You nuzzled into his chest some more, relishing in the heat his body gave. 

You loved the praise he gave you. It made you feel warm and fuzzy in your belly, and it felt so good. Soon you were drifting into a deep sleep, comfortable in Shouta’s arms. This was nice. You’d be happy to let him guide you, let him take care of you like this. One thought drifted through your head as you drifted.

‘Guys my age could never.’

[theoldguard-recs]

Old Guard Comforting Fic Recs

So! *gestures at everything in 2020* This has all been stressful. But you know what’s been great? The Old Guard and the sheer joy of comfort fics. Myself (cactusdragon517) and @lightdescending​ have put together a small list of fics we think are comforting and we hope you enjoy! Some have been previously recommended on this blog; others are new.

(Under a cut for easier scrolling on the dashboard)

what never was is now by ionsquare

This is a story about friendship and forgiveness. And learning how to live through immortality.

Friendship, team as family, Booker and Nile bonding.

Nile-Centric | Gen | 2708 words

What I Loved: I love this fic that's all about the team as family, but especially Nile's relationship with Booker. In this fic, it's very much a brother-sister bond and ionsquare does a delightful job at making this fic warm and gentle. It's soothing, in a way! Team as family is one of my favorite tropes. @ionsquare is on Tumblr and has written other fics for The Old Guard.

Feed My Soul by AphroditesTummyRolls

   “You left me to wake up all alone in our bed.” He said, his voice a velvet-soft rumble into the still morning air.    “I was going to make you breakfast.” Nicky replied, a little breathless as he held up the meticulously trimmed basil cuttings in his hand, as if that could sway Yusuf’s mind.    His hair fell into his eyes, and Nico pushed it back with his free hand, letting it fall around his ears and frame his face down to his cheekbones. It was long— he hadn’t had it cut since long before the Merrick job, and ever since he had simply not bothered with it.    He looked like one of the angels of old poetry. He looked like the Renaissance muse he had once been— the reclined nude in that Florentine piazza, more pure than the marble under his feet, and more luxurious than the pillows under his head and body. He had gazed at him just as he was now, full of liquid heat and a gleam that told Yusuf with all but words how he wished to ravish him. He was unabashed under Yusuf’s brush, just miles of soft skin, and his long brown hair falling in his eyes.

Porn with feelings, Going Back To Malta, long-haired Nicky, hair-pulling, anal sex, anal fingering, tender and sweet loving Joe/Nicky | Explicit | 4,430 words What I Loved: Okay, so first and foremost, this is definitely just straight up porn. And it is legit my favorite kind - It's so full of love and care and the sheer dedication they show for each other makes this fic sing.  It's absolutely lyrical and poetic and so spot-on. There are so many moments that take my actual breath away, in so far as how this fic has been written and how much care is given to their love. I said, in my original review of this, that it's like the warmth of Malta infuses the whole fic. It is breath-taking. For all of these reasons and more, this is one of my favorite cheer-up fics. @aphroditestummyrolls is on Tumblr and has written other fics for The Old Guard.

War Games by AirGiodSLV

   “Speaking of keeping up,” Andy muses. “We need to start training you.”

   Training, Nile discovers, involves what Andy calls ‘retrieval missions’ and what Nile calls ‘capture the flag’.

Nile-Centric | Teen and up | Gen | 5367 words

Found family, team bonding

What I Loved: This fic fits in so perfectly with my headcanon that the team frequently plays games like capture the flag to learn how they fight together, especially once Nile joins. I love love love how Nile is exasperated but eager and how much fun the others have with her. This fic feels like a romp - Like, the most fun thing ever. It makes me want to play capture the flag and I suck at that game. This feels like a favorite movie, comforting and fun. AirGiodSLV is on AO3 and has written other fics for The Old Guard.

Artifacts by praycambrian

“When Andy does this, it is love,” Nicky says. “What you do is love also. Don’t stop, if you can help it.”

Ongoing collection of loosely connected snippets pre-, during, and post-canon.

Creator chose not to use archive warnings. Family, vignettes, ancient history, queer history, art history, food, music, love, immortality, families of choice, POV multiple.

Andy/Quynh, Nicky/Joe, Nile, and Booker | 3007; chapter length varies | General

What I loved: Hhhh what isn’t there to love! This author has a gorgeously poetic writing voice – every word deliberate, the diction impeccable, the writing style utterly lyrical and poignant and gorgeous. I can tell that the author has put so much research, time, care, and thought into every single one of these vignettes and I’m living for them! The historical and cultural elements included are so thoughtful, and the author includes links to learn more in the notes often. The author is on Tumblr as @praycambrian and has written other fic for The Old Guard!

Stalefish by Amiril

“Don’t look at it as a curse,” Joe had told her, a month earlier. “Think of it as an opportunity. What did you want to do that you were always too scared to try?”

No archive warnings apply. Social media, team bonding, extreme sports, getting together, team as family.

Nile / Andy and Nile-centric | ~2000 words | Teen and up  

What I loved: Nile adjusting to being immortal, learning how to skateboard, and flirting with Andy! God it’s so good. This is just a really sweet fic, and I love the banter. I feel like this author did a really great job exploring Nile’s POV, and this remains one of my top fics for the pairing so far. The author is on Tumblr as @runawaymarbles and has written other fic for the Old Guard!

On Their Side by ViridianPanther

Pam Marks is surprised and delighted when four young (looking) people make a big purchase at her Help the Refugees charity shop in suburban England. The political winds and the recession are catching up with her. She’s glad to know there are people on her side.

outsider POV | found family | teen | <5k

What I loved: the team helping in other ways; a really good OC POV! This fic feels like a warm hug. The author is on tumblr as @viridianpanther!

Full Fathoms Deep by sixthlight

It started on the midnight to eight shift, sometime before three, the witching hour even by ship standards.

Quỳnh-centric | ~9300 words | Teen

What I loved: This is the “How Quỳnh left the ocean” missing scene fanfic that I haven’t stopped thinking about since I read it. Quỳnh’s experience as a traumatized woman is treated with such care and respect, and I am utterly in love with the POV of the outsider through whom we engage with this story. It’s a love letter to marine science, an exploration of deep care and compassion making a difference when it’s needed most, and has moments that are deeply funny. The author is on Tumblr as @sixth-light and has written other fanfic for the Old Guard!

Stay safe, take care, and we hope these can help if you need them.

[bisexual-horror-fan]

For the Drabble giveaway….

Can We get some Human!Freddy X reader… but make it Platonic?

Like….. a ‘My best friend is a dream demon’ kind of thing almost?

Oh hell yeah I can do that AJ! Human!Fred is SUCH a weakness of mine! And lord knows I could do more platonic stuff, the idea of having a friendship with him is a fun one! Everyone is feeling the softer vibes this time around, hmm? I love it. What a change of pace! I hope you dig this! Let's go!

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Rating. SFW. Length. 802 Words. Human!Freddy Krueger X GN! Reader. Platonic. Warnings. Literally none. Uhm. Mentions Of Cheating? Hot Takes On Sandwhiches? Legit This Is Pretty Inoffensive.

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Lunch Buddies.

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How had it started again?

You couldn’t quite recall the exact day. See every single Friday you liked to come to this little diner in Springwood for lunch. You loved to come by and look out the window onto the main street, just people watching and eating. A relaxing break in the middle of your day, it always refreshes you before going back off to work, always makes you finish your day strong and give your weekend a great start.

The food was always really good. Frequent specials, a wide selection, coffee was good, they even made all their own desserts and the lemonade in the summer? To die for.

Funnily enough he was the one who turned you on to that. You were looking over the menu, having trouble deciding on what to get to drink and that is when he put forth the idea. He was in the booth next to yours, he turned and interjected, “If I may suggest, the lemonade here? If you haven’t had it, amazing.” and you decided well fuck it, why not?

He turned back around and was reading the paper and you were people watching like usual and when your lunch was brought, you did it absentmindedly, bringing the ice cold glass up and taking a drink. The reaction you had was natural and immediate, “Oh my God.” You set the glass down and turned around, “You weren’t kidding.” That made him look over his shoulder as he said with a smile, “What you doubted me?”

And that was how the conversation was struck up. You both kept talking over the back of the shared booth seat that day. Next Friday you saw him again and the same thing ended up happening. And the Friday after that. The next Friday when you saw him and greeted each other and he said, “We both know we are gonna end up talking all lunch again. Want to just sit with me?”

You had lunch at the same table that day and it was so fucking nice. It was the next Friday when he asked, “Why are you always looking out the window?” You glanced at him and smiled, “Oh. Well I like to people watch.”

“Yeah? Is it that interesting?” He asked curiously and you nodded, “Yeah! Especially coming to the same place every week. I love the food here but the location is the best.”

“The location is a factor?” He seemed unconvinced and you fired back, “Duh Fred. We are right on main street, heart of town, you get all types running through here and you can start to see repeat people, learn their routines.” You said it so excitedly and that made his eyebrows raise, “Learn their patterns, eh? You some kinda stalker?” He teased, “Never took you for the type.”

“Well when you put it that way it does sound a little creepy but it isn’t like that!” You both got along so well. He convinced you that any sandwich that claimed to be a grilled cheese but had more than cheese and some kind of spead on it wasn’t a TRUE grilled cheese, but a melt. That day was hilarious because who knew he could be so passionate about something trivial about food, you almost snorted into your malt as he defended his point until you conceded “Okay! Okay! I believe you! A bacon grilled cheese isn't a thing! It’s a melt, now can we PLEASE drop it?!”

And you in turn showed him that yes people watching could be fun and enjoyable. He denied it but one day when you weren’t even looking out the window he nudged you and said “She’s back again!” You looked across the table to him, seeing he had his gaze fixed outside as you asked, “Who?”

“Mrs.Green. She is back. I think she is going to meet him again. I mean she is married for Chirst’s sake, can you belie-” and he looked across the table to see you smirking and you said, “Oh I thought you didn’t CARE about people watching.”

He muttered, “Alright, maybe you’re right and it is kinda interesting.” He brought his coffee cup up and took a deep drink of it before trying to change the subject but you didn’t let him. “No, no, go on. So you really think she is going to meet him?”

And he took the in you gave him to talk about it and you listened to him go on about how he was utterly convinced of the illicit affair of the suburban housewife outside. Making up stories and concocting theories was half the fun of people watching after all.

It was an unlikely friendship, who would have thought that if you could have decided on a drink that day that it might have never happened.

[maria-scribbles]

loyalty’s all i got | part one

summary: three years ago, you had it all: great friends, good grades, and an almost perfect relationship with your boyfriend, jj. it all came crashing down when your mom relocated your family to california for work and you were forced to trade the outer banks for malibu, leaving your broken heart behind in the place you were just starting to think of as home. now you're back in town for college and to pick up the pieces, hoping to make things right again with your friends and the boy you never stopped loving.

word count: 8.9k+ i'm legit incapable of writing something short 😅

ship: jj maybank x female!reader, pogue friendship

warnings: mentions of child abuse, non-graphic injuries, weed, swearing, underage drinking, learning to be vulnerable, trust issues, first love, jj getting the love and affection he deserves, underage sex (nothing too descriptive but it gets a lil spicy, just fyi), teenage heartbreak, failed long distance relationship, angst with a happy ending, references to some taylor swift songs 'cause she's a queen.

a/n: got a lil plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone so here we are lol. title and inspiration for this fic comes from train's song "rescue dog" that gave me 'jj x reader where they're both damaged goods' vibes the second i heard it. this is semi canon-compliant as the treasure hunt never happened but big john is still alive and kie and sarah still work out their issues and become friends again. i used the names daisy, daniel, deke, and mack as a tribute to agents of shield, one of my favorite shows that had just had its series finale (and i'm still an emotional mess). enjoy and keep an eye out for part two, coming soon!

~masterlist~

part one: when our love was young and easy

For you, having a traveling nurse as a mom was both a blessing and a curse. When you were a kid, you loved bouncing around the country to a new town every so often and finding new places to explore with your rebellious big sister. Back then, she was all you needed to be happy: you'd go anywhere and everywhere as long as Daisy, your best friend, was by your side. 

As you both grew older and started school, you slowly realized that packing up your life every few years sucked. Yeah, seeing new places was cool and all but the novelty wore off fast when you found yourself making friends with your classmates, kids who weren't your sister for once, only to lose touch whenever you moved again. You felt like a ghost, haunting a new school for a while and then leaving behind nothing but a memory, one that gradually faded over time until it was gone, as if you never existed at all. You wondered if anyone actually remembered you. 

It was hard. You gradually became more sullen and withdrawn, finding it more and more difficult to make friends when you knew they wouldn't last, while Daisy acted out even worse than usual and ended up being grounded almost every week. It took her getting arrested while graffitiing the school gym on New Year's Eve for your father - a bit clueless about being a stay-at-home dad to two girls but he tried his best- to put his foot down and tell his wife enough was enough. 

"Our kids need stability, Rebekah. They need a chance to make real friends and stay in one place for longer than two or three years. They need a home."

Thankfully by some miracle, your mother agreed and promised the next move would be the last until you graduated high school. You wanted to believe her so badly but you weren't sure if you could as you packed up your life once again and headed down south from Rhode Island.

That's how you ended up in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, finishing eighth grade at some fancy ass academy that you weren't sure your parents could afford. Daisy, a sophomore, seemed to have no problem fitting in on the north side of the island when she landed a job as a lifeguard at the country club and made fast friends with the rich kids that frequented the pool. It stung a bit when she eventually started ditching you for them (and some older boy named Kelce; you knew she'd snag a boyfriend eventually but you didn't realize it'd be so fast and with someone so...douchey) but you tried not to let it bother you too much, as you were okay getting by on your own and honest-to-God happy for your sister. Making friends was a scary thought when you remembered all the kids you've had to leave behind over the years, all the friendships that crumbled into dust in the wind so you tried to stay at arm's length from your classmates and told yourself you were just fine the way you were. 

The loneliness was hard to ignore though, and you soon found yourself slowly, reluctantly becoming friends with a girl named Kiara that sat beside you in algebra after she helped you cram for a test you completely forgot about, even as warning bells rang loud in your mind. It wasn't long before you started sitting with her and her friend Sarah at lunch, which led to being invited to the beach and the movies and sleepovers and just like that, you remembered what friendship felt like. For the first time, you felt like a normal teenager with a best friend that wasn't your sister and although you liked Sarah, Kiara was the one you were closest to, especially when you found out she hated the kook academy as much as you did.

"Fuck it," She said at one of your sleepovers, sitting on the floor at the end of your bed and rifling through your box of movies. "I'm done with acting like something I'm not, I'm done with being fake, and I'm done with rich kid politics." She tossed Legally Blonde in your direction and then joined you in leaning against the headboard as you slipped the DVD into your laptop.

"Yeah, this whole kook thing kind of sucks." You replied, tapping through the previews to the main menu. "That's why I don't give a shit."

"And that's why I'm so happy you're my friend, Y/N," Kiara said. "You're just yourself and don't try to change for anybody. It's cool."

Cursor hovering over the play button, you paused and glanced over at the other girl. "I'm happy you're my friend, too. I...I only really had my sister growing up so just...thanks, I guess. For being here."

Kiara pulled you into a fierce hug after your impromptu confession and you hugged her back, understanding for the first time what true friendship looked like. 

More kids get added to your posse -three boys named John B, JJ, and Pope- after a catastrophic falling out with Sarah over her fiasco of a birthday party and from the very first time you met them, you realized the south side of the island was where you belonged. The pogues were unabashedly, unapologetically real and you felt the freest you'd ever been when you were hanging out with them and from the way Kiara seemed so much happier, you knew she felt the same way. Those kooks and their status quo could suck it.

You vowed you wouldn't let yourself get too attached to your new friends (cohorts, as your dad jokingly called them), lest you get your heart broken when your mom inevitably moved on to the next job in a year or two; despite her promise, you just had a feeling that it wouldn't last and wished you weren't always waiting for that other shoe to drop. You didn't plan on them becoming your second family and you definitely didn't plan on falling in love for the first time, but life always found new ways to surprise you. 

You were fourteen when you started to notice that one of your friends was cute as fuck. To be honest, you thought all of your friends were pretty cute but there was something about JJ that made you flustered beyond belief every time he crossed your mind. You found yourself more than a little fixated on his golden hair, his bright blue eyes, and the way you always felt at your happiest when he was around; he lived like a wild, out of control hurricane and you wanted to get swept up in the eye of his storm, despite your brain telling you not to.

You never had crushes before, always too busy anticipating worrying about your family's next move to really look at anyone like that but you were definitely looking now while you tried to balance on JJ's surfboard in the gently bobbing waves, your trembling hands planted firmly on his -bare, tan, strong- shoulders as he held it steady.

"Lookin' good, Y/N," He looked up at you with a proud grin before glancing back down at your stance. "Just bend your knees a little more and you'll be perfect."

His praise, along with his calloused palms carefully adjusting your legs made your face feel hot and you shifted on the board to correct your balance, slowly raising your arms until you were standing, albeit a little wobbly, mostly on your own. 

"Holy shit!" You yelled, the smile on your face growing more ecstatic at the encouraging cheers of your friends as they watched from the beach twenty feet away. "I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it!"

"Almost," JJ gave you another one of his killer smiles, the ones that you quickly found out made breathing normally quite the challenge, then let go of your knees to give the board a solid push forward. "Now you are!"

Frantically, you recalled everything he taught you that afternoon and managed to make it halfway to shore before you lost your balance and fell into the surf with a giddy laugh. "Guess I need a little more practice," You giggled as he splashed his way over and offered you a hand, a teasing glint in his blue eyes. 

"Just a little?"

You flicked some water at him for that and your laugh grew when he wrapped you up in his arms and spun you around before flinging you both into the waves. The others immediately ran to join you and an all out war broke out, everyone splashing each other with no holds barred.  

When he casually suggested giving you another lesson the next day as you all laid on the sand to catch your breath, you were unable to say no and the soft, dimpled smile on his face made your heart skip a beat in a way you'd never felt before. For the first time, you told the warning bells in your head to just shut the fuck up and allowed yourself to think about the future, to dream about what you could become and where you could be in two, five, even ten years. You let yourself have hope.

The next morning, you put on your favorite bikini -the green high waisted one that made your butt look good- and caught a ride with Daisy and Kelce to the beach, ignoring the teasing looks and jabs your sister sent your way and the sly smirk on her boyfriend's face. 

"Hey, Juliet, looks like your Romeo's already waiting for you." 

You rolled your eyes and hopped out of Kelce's Range Rover, flipping them both the bird behind your back without a second glance. As they drove away, their laughter followed you to where JJ was indeed waiting by the walkway to the shore, surfboard under his arm, and his face broke out into a wide grin when he laid eyes on you, one that you couldn't help returning.

"Sorry I'm late, my sister was being a bitch."

He laughed at that and reached out to take your hand, sending warm tingles through your whole body. "I was kinda worried you forgot about me, Y/N."

In a sudden burst of courage you didn't know you had, you laced your fingers with his and started pulling him toward the water as you sent him a wink over your shoulder. "I would never."

You started your lesson on the sand, reviewing how to stand up and balance on the board, before moving to the ocean. You catch your first waves on your stomach to get used to the movement and when you get comfortable with that you move to your knees and then your feet; each time JJ was there to catch you when you inevitably bit it, hugging you close to his bare chest and speaking enthusiastic words of encouragement in your ear, and with every passing try you became more and more confident until you finally nailed a small wave from beginning to end without falling on your ass. 

"I did it!" In a flash, you jumped off the board and into his arms, your mouth curving into a joyful grin when he spun you in circles like yesterday with your own arms locked tight around his neck.

"Hell yeah you did!" The proud smile on his face made your stomach do a little flip and so did the way he held you close, his hands hooked under your thighs. "You're gonna be a pro in no time."

"Well," You said, twirling your fingers in the fine blond hair at his nape and hoping you didn't just imagine the shiver that ran down his spine. "I do have a great teacher."

His pretty blue eyes locked onto yours and you couldn't look away even if you wanted to (which you absolutely didn't). You'd been reading about moments like that ever since you were a kid, alone in your room with nothing better to do than drown yourself in overly sappy fanfiction until 2 AM, so you knew all about the magnetism, the butterflies, the invisible string tying two lovers together by fate, but it was just a fantasy, a pipe dream, something to yearn for when the loneliness became too much. Never in a million years did you imagine you would ever feel like that.

And yet you did. You felt it in your whole body, coursing through your veins like liquid fire, and when JJ started to lean in, you didn't hesitate to meet him halfway. It wasn't your first kiss -that happened two years ago when you were still living in Rhode Island, during a rare party you actually got invited to and with a pretty girl in your class- but it was the first that set every single one of your nerves alight. He held you tighter against him as your hands moved to cup his face, letting him deepen the kiss with a tilt of his head and the soft swipe of his tongue against your lips. You never thought you'd find yourself in the middle of a make out session in broad daylight and in full view of everyone on the beach but there you were, not giving a single shit about who was watching. All you cared about was memorizing every detail about the way he kissed you, the feel of his mouth on yours and the heat of his palms against your thighs, the rough touch of drying saltwater on his skin under your thumbs and that little noise he made low in his throat when you wrapped your legs tighter around his waist. You could've kissed him for hours (holy shit did you want to do that) and never run out of new idiosyncrasies to notice.

You pulled back some glorious time later with a breathless smile and swollen lips, heart racing against your ribcage and forehead pressed to JJ's as he smiled back, an endearing pink flushed across his face. 

"I've wanted to do that for a while." His quiet admission made the butterflies in your stomach go haywire and you leaned down to kiss him once again, no longer able to deny yourself the happiness you longed for for years now that you'd had a taste; he returned the kiss and you laughed against his mouth as he spun you around before gently setting you on your feet in the surf, his forgotten board -thankfully still tethered to your ankle- bumping into your legs with every wave.

"Me, too." 

"Good." He shot you a smile that make you weak in the knees and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind your ear, then it was his turn to lean down to press his lips to yours.

After that day, life was practically a dream. You had the greatest friends you could've asked for, your family was the happiest you'd ever seen them, and you had a boyfriend. A loyal, affectionate, chaotic boyfriend who somehow managed to keep you on your toes while being your guiding light all at once and you wondered how you got so lucky that a boy as wonderful as JJ wanted little old you, with all of your insecurities and shattered edges and tendencies to push people away when they got too close.

You told him that one day as you laid together on your bed, sharing lazy kisses in the warm late-summer sun streaming in through your window while Fleetwood Mac played quietly from your phone resting on the nightstand. Fall was in the air and with it came cool breezes and that nagging fear in the back of your mind that screamed none of it would last. It was the first time you cried in front of him -in front of anyone other than your sister- and he held you tight to his chest, hand running soothingly over your back as you let everything out in one massive, embarrassing flood of years of pent-up emotions. 

Another thing your boyfriend was good at, you found out, was comfort. He didn't say anything as he hugged you close but he didn't need to, the fact that he was simply there and listening was all you needed from him. You spent your whole life living in the shadows until then, when he made you feel seen, heard, and important, validated, all without saying a single word and after your tears had run dry and you pulled your face away from his damp shirt, you killed that urge to flee and buried it so deep you hoped you'd never find it again. 

That day, you poured out your heart for the first time to a person you knew in your very bones you could trust and received nothing but unconditional acceptance in return. JJ took you as you were, flaws and metaphorical scars, dark secrets and past mistakes, and you weren't quite fifteen yet but you wondered if that spark you felt in your blood when he kissed you was love.

It was less than a week later when he showed up at your door late at night, bruised and bloody, and the thrill of a clandestine meeting in your room faded the second you saw the small, pained smile he sent your way. Daisy, swapping roles with you for once, distracted your parents so you could sneak him upstairs like she did with Kelce practically every week and only when you were both safely hidden away in your room did you speak, keeping your voice as soft as your touch against his bruised cheek. "What happened?"

You cried in front of him for the second time when he finally answered, after you cleaned him up with the first aid kit your mom always kept under your bathroom sink and helped him change into some of your dad's old clothes your sister swiped from the laundry room ("if you need anything, just text me, 'k?" she said and you sent her a grateful smile before she left, quietly shutting the door behind her.). JJ was your echo as he spilled all his secrets, too, bringing his demons out of the deep blue darkness and into your golden daylight where they slowly burned to ash, little by little. You held him close, your legs tangled together and his head pillowed on your chest, and you ran your fingers through his hair over and over until he talked himself hoarse and his hands loosened their white-knuckled grip on your sweatshirt. 

Words had never been your strong suit so you let your actions speak for you and gently wiped the tears from his cheeks with your thumbs, leaning down to press your lips to his forehead, then his closed eyelids, his nose, all over his face until there was no inch you hadn't kissed other than his mouth; you saved that for last, letting each delicate touch linger against his slightly chapped lips like bright beacons of light guiding him through a storm in hopes that he'll make it to shore.

"You'll always be safe with me." 

You whispered it into his hair sometime later, through swollen lips that hurt in the best possible way and you felt his slow smile into the curve of your neck, his reply coming in the form of a soft and feather-light kiss against your heated skin. You fell asleep that night with your boyfriend wrapped up in your arms, safe and warm and far away from the father who hurt him in more ways than one. 

Your parents, on the other hand, loved JJ so much to the point you thought they'd adopt him if they could, especially your dad. They were constantly inviting him over for dinner, fishing trips, movie nights: you name it, your parents wanted him there, and you were pretty sure he was spending even more time at your place than at John B's. He won the 'favorite boyfriend' category by default because Kelce barely made the 'tolerated' list, much to your and Daisy's amusement. 

Despite that fact though, you still snuck JJ out your window that morning to meet him at the front door just as your mother was leaving for her shift at the hospital. Rebekah greeted him with her customary hug before touching his bruised cheek with a gentle hand and concern in her eyes.  

"What happened, hon?" 

He shrugged, expertly bullshitting some excuse about defending your honor when one of Kelce's friends started going off about how good your ass looked and it instantly appeased your dad, who reached over to clap your boyfriend on the shoulder.

"Good job, kid." Bill said with a pleased grin, then kissed his wife goodbye and headed back down the hall toward the living room. "Hear that, Daisy? Your boy needs to get better friends!"

"Dad!"

"Even better, just get a better boy in general!"

As your father and sister squabbled, your mother pulled you both into another fierce hug and whispered "You always have a place here," before she headed out the door; JJ looked a bit stunned at Rebekah's words and you reached over to give his hand a gentle squeeze, smiling softly when he slowly did it back.

Your parents weren't stupid. They knew your boyfriend didn't come from the best of homes but they loved him anyway, showering him in ordinary, everyday affection they knew he rarely got. You noticed it more and more as the months passed: your dad always asking him for help fixing Daisy's clunker of a car when it broke down and both would come inside with grease-stained hands and easy smiles, your mom keeping all the first aid kits fully stocked and hugging him a little tighter when he looked a little worse for wear, both of them making sure he was fed and safe and cared for like he deserved. Even Daisy had a penchant for leaving snacks on your bed like some sort of food fairy and offering to give rides to the beach or the Chateau, especially after she finally dumped Kelce and had, as she said, 'nothing better to do.'

And you? You fell harder each passing day, each moment you spent with him, each kiss that made your veins hum with white hot lightning. Of course, your friends teased you mercilessly but neither of you really minded, knowing that each joke was born pure joy at seeing you both together and happy (though you never missed an opportunity to be extra affectionate in front of everyone as revenge.). JJ continued to teach you how to surf until you could hold your own with the rest of the pogues and when you turned fifteen in late spring, they gave you the surprise of your life in the form of your very own board.

You stared in shock at the sea foam green board propped in the sand beside your friends,' gaping like a fish out of water as they all screamed "happy birthday, Y/N!" at the top of their lungs.

"You...you guys -are you for real?" You reached out to run your fingers over the smooth epoxy surface, the mounting pressure behind your eyes becoming harder and harder to ignore when you caught sight of your friends' identical bright grins. What did you do to deserve them?

"We figured it was time you had your own board instead of that shitty hand me down," John B said, ruffling your hair with brotherly affection that made your heart feel full. Pope nodded enthusiastically and added, "You're gonna improve so much with this -not that you weren't already, I mean!"

"She's already good 'cause she has me for a teacher," JJ said with an overexaggerated wink as he pulled you closer and planted a kiss on your cheek. "Taught her everything she knows."

"Oh, please, you just wanted to mack-"

"Taught her how to make out-"

"What they all mean to say, Y/N," Kiara interrupted, sending the boys a pointed look, then gave your shoulder a quick squeeze, "is that we love you. That word won't kill you guys to say, you know."

"I-I love you guys, too. All of you." You admitted thickly, hastily wiping away the tears you just realized were slipping down your face. It didn't scare you to say it. You didn't feel the urge to run or pretend you didn't care for them as much as they cared for you 'cause you loved your friends like you loved your sister, your parents, and the thought filled you with joy instead of terror. "I don't know how to thank you."

You suddenly found yourself in the middle of a colossal group hug, laughing and crying at the same time as four pairs of arms all tried to wrap around you at once.  "How about you start by getting out there and showing us what you're made of?" John B said with a nod toward the ocean and you wiggled your way out of the tangle of limbs, darting forward to pull your new board from the sand.  

"Come on, slowpokes," You called over your shoulder as you jogged toward the water, "You aren't gonna let the newbie have all the fun, right?"

The water was a bit too chilly for surfing but the five of you dove in anyway and you grinned so hard you were sure your face would split in two when you nailed your first wave to the rest of the pogues' cheers. You all surfed until the cold was too much to bear before packing up and heading back to your house, where you spent the rest of your birthday surrounded by all of the people you'd ever loved, making s'mores around the campfire in your backyard. 

"I meant what I said earlier." You blurted when JJ was the only one around to hear it, the others already headed inside for the night. The two of you laid together on a blanket beside the dying fire as you stared up at the stars and when you spoke, he tore his gaze from the sky to focus on you, one eyebrow raised in the cutest confused expression you'd ever seen.

"Meant what?"

Maybe it was the look in those pretty blue eyes of his or the feel of his fingers running through your hair or your brain remembering every single moment you'd ever shared with him all at once but something screamed at you to say those words, the ones you'd been thinking about saying to his face for a long time. Though you'd already said them earlier, this time was different -so, so different- and you took a deep breath, fighting away the nerves that made your hand tremble as you cupped his face and ran your thumb over his cheekbone.

"I love you."

The funny thing about words: once they're out in the air, there's no taking them back. These words, though? You never wanted to take them back. Ever. 

"I love you, too."

It wasn't like the movies. Fireworks didn't go off, the world didn't stop spinning on its axis, nothing magically clicked into place, but you did feel the most wonderful warmth you could ever imagine slowly sinking into your bones when he said it back, the soft smile on his flushed face snatching the very breath from your lungs. He loved you. You loved him. It was simple, uncomplicated, effortless and you smiled into his kiss with the moon and stars as your witnesses. 

Summer came again, setting you and Kiara free from the hell known as the kook academy and its rich kid hierarchy and the two of you ran wild -from sunrise to sunset- with your boys at your sides, like birds escaping their cages or horses let loose in the grasslands, untamed and thirsty for adventure. It had only just begun and yet you already knew it was the best summer of your life. 

Your dad, a man able to make friends with a rock, struck up a camaraderie with Sarah's father of all people during a deep sea fishing trip and snagged five invitations to some fancy party called Midsummers. 

Kiara nearly had a coronary when you shared the news, her face lighting up like a kid on Christmas morning. "Oh, thank God!" She breathed, sitting up on her towel and pushing her sunglasses up onto her forehead. "Maybe I'll actually have a good time for once."

The two of you were relaxing on the beach, taking a break while the boys surfed and you turned away from admiring your boyfriend's bare back to look her in the eye. "So what you're saying is-"

"-it fucking sucks. Just..." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "a bunch of bourgeoise pigs throwing a party to stroke their overinflated egos."

You groaned and flopped back onto your towel, throwing your arm over your eyes. "Great, a night of rich people being rich people."

Kiara laughed and reached over to grab a bottle of water from the cooler. "You have no idea."

Despite her misgivings, the party wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. Sure, the general stench of opulence and wasted money -so much wasted money- was overbearing and quite frankly disgusting but you did your best to ignore it, focusing instead on having a great time with two of your best friends, making fun of the kooks and sneaking liquor when the adults weren't looking. One of those friends happened to be your boyfriend and you found it very, very hard to keep your eyes off him in that suit of his, with his hair slicked back in just the right way that made your knees weak; JJ couldn't stop staring at you either and you'd lost count of how many times you glanced over to find him already looking at you, something you'd never seen before behind his gaze. You wanted -needed- to find out what it was and you were hoping you would tonight, even if you didn't exactly know how. 

"Why don't you two take a picture? It'll last longer." Kiara said sarcastically and you flicked your eyes down to your lap, smoothing a non-existent wrinkle in your deep green dress to hide your embarrassment. What was it about that damn suit that made you feel so flustered?

"You know me, Kie," JJ replied, grabbing your hand and tugging you toward the dance floor. "I like to live in the moment." He grinned down at you and you couldn't help smiling back, giggling as he twirled you under his arm before pulling you close, resting his other hand low on your back.

"I didn't know you were such a good dancer," You said, letting him lead you in a simple waltz across the cool grass. 

"Well, I'm not but I might've spent the last week practicing with your sister while Kie distracted you." He admitted casually, shooting a thumbs up over your shoulder and you turned to find Daisy grinning in your direction as she swayed with some guy (Daniel, you thought, or maybe Deke? You weren't sure.) you'd seen hanging around the pool a few times. 'You're welcome,' She mouthed before spinning under her partner's arm, her wine-colored dress fanning out around her legs and you smiled wider, twirling back into your boyfriend's embrace and surging up onto your tiptoes to press your lips to his.

He dipped you low as he returned your kiss, grinning against your mouth when you flung your arms around his neck in surprise, your fingers holding tight to the collar of his suit jacket. "You did all that for me?" You asked once your feet were firmly back on the ground and your heart skipped a beat as his hands brushed the skin exposed by the low-cut back of your dress. 

"Anything for you, Y/N." 

Later, after dancing until your shoes started to dig uncomfortably into your toes, the two of you snuck down to the beach, your heels in your hands and two stolen drinks in JJ's. You felt a bit guilty ditching Kiara but from the wink she sent your way as you passed by, you were pretty sure she didn't really mind. The sand was cool on your legs through the thin layers of your skirt and yet you felt nothing but warm, both from his arm around your shoulders and the alcohol burning down your throat.

"Shit," You coughed, regretting following your boyfriend's example by knocking the whole thing back at once and playfully jabbing your elbow in his side when he outright laughed at your struggle. "I'm not used to drinking straight...whatever this is." 

"It's bourbon, babe." He took the glass from your hand and set it aside before tucking you closer against him to ward off the slight chill of the mellow ocean breeze. "Don't worry, I still love you even if you can't take shots."

"Ha ha. Love you, too, you jerk." You rested your head on his shoulder after they stopped shaking with laughter, perfectly happy to sit in silence together and watch the waves crash against the shore. A pleasant tingle flooded through your body after the bourbon finally stopped burning and you realized you liked the feeling, even if it paled in comparison to the high you reached when he kissed you, when he ran his hand through your hair, when he made it crystal clear you were loved. 

"Hey, Y/N?"

JJ's voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you shifted your head to look up at him, hooking one of your ankles around his. "Yeah?"

"Gimme your hand."

You obliged, your confusion slowly melting away into something more closely resembling pure, unadulterated affection as he tied a bracelet around your wrist. And not just any bracelet, you noticed when you brought it closer to your face to examine it in the dim, distant light of the party: this one was obviously, beautifully handmade, woven with threads in shades of green, blue, and tan and tied off with two green beads on each end. You ran your thumb over a spot where the intricate motif was just a little messed up and smiled when JJ looked embarrassed, the tips of his ears turning red.

"Yeah, sorry about that, I was in a hurry and fucked up the pattern," He confessed sheepishly, spinning a similar bracelet around his own wrist. "I was gonna give it to you on your birthday but I kind of underestimated how long it took to make-"

"It's perfect." You interrupted, tackling him onto the sand with your arms around his neck as you pressed a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth, leaving a bright red lipstick mark behind. "I love it. I love you."

The smile he sent you was one of unabashed relief and he slid his fingers into your hair to pull you down for another kiss. "I love you, too."

For awhile after that, you let your lips do the talking in a different way and you made out on the beach for -surprisingly- only the second time until you rolled onto your back and accidentally got a little sand in your underwear (he laughed at that but you immediately got your revenge by stuffing a handful down the front of his shirt). You snuck back to the party hand in hand to drop off the forgotten glasses and wave a quick goodbye to Kiara, who just smirked at your smudged lipstick and the golden crown of leaves sitting crooked on your head, before walking toward your house a mile down the road. Well, JJ walked, you hitched a ride on his back when he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Babe, your feet hurt and you have sand in your ass. No way in hell I'm letting you walk."

You just smiled against his shoulder and let him carry you the rest of the way to your house and then even up the stairs to your room as you fired off a text to Daisy letting her know where you disappeared to. She sent 'check your dresser, thank me later' with a winking emoji back and you felt your face get hot when you caught sight of the small box tucked into the corner of the drawer, quickly placing the phone facedown on your bedside table before tossing your shoes onto the floor by your closet and carefully pulling the crown from your messy hair.

"Thanks for the ride, my feet and ass are in your debt."

"Let's make out again and I'll consider that debt paid."

You laughed but gave in 'cause hell, you really wanted to keep making out, too. You pushed JJ backwards until his knees hit your bed and you ended up on his lap, your hands pushing the suit jacket off his shoulders as you leaned down to kiss him. He slid the pins from your hair one by one until it fell around your face and he tangled his fingers in it, pulling your head back so he could trail his lips down the sensitive skin of your neck and you gasped, pausing in the middle of trying to undo the bowtie around his neck.

Something shifted in the air then and you knew that once you took that next step, there'd be no turning back but you were ready to meet it head on as you finished with his tie and tossed it behind you, then started on the buttons of his shirt. That look from earlier was in his eyes again and you nodded, smiling in anticipation when you finally understood what it meant and he languidly slipped one of the straps of your dress off your shoulder. 

You bared your body like you bared your soul and soon there was no part of you that he didn't know. You learned every part of him, too and together you brought each other to a high you'd never felt before. It wasn't perfect, of course, but it was perfect to you: every awkward, beautiful touch, when you breathed his name like that for the first time, the way your hands clutched his hair like a lifeline. You were burning up from the inside out, every single nerve on fire and blazing brilliantly under your heated skin and you'd never felt more alive when you came undone in his arms.

In the afterglow, you laid wrapped up together like the woven bracelets you both wore, JJ's fingers steadily tracing the curve of your bare hip as yours soothed the darkening red mark you'd left behind on his neck. The fairy lights strung above your bed cast soft, welcoming shadows all around, highlighting that wonderful look in his eyes, open and awed and oh so loving and you knew your gaze held the same.

"I'm, I-" He started, then shook his head and leaned down to place a lingering kiss on your cheek. "I just -shit."

"Whoa, you're speechless," You teased, sweeping a wayward strand of sweaty blond hair away from his forehead. "Guess I really blew your mind, huh?"

"Fucking fried it." He shook his head again with the dopiest, dreamiest smile you'd ever seen and you giggled as he pulled you closer, calloused palm flat against the small of your back. "I'm so fucking in love with you. Straight up head over heels, babe." 

You smiled even wider at his words and how they ignited that flame burning inside you once again. "Good thing I'm fucking head over heels, hopelessly in love with you, too." You replied and pushed him back onto the bed, swinging a leg over his thighs so you were the one on top this time. "And I'm gonna blow your damn mind again."

You weren't sure what you expected life to be like after you had sex for the first time. You'd always heard it was this momentous occasion, that you'd suddenly feel like a real woman or whatever stupid label society came up with to further control girls and their sexuality but honestly, you still felt like the same person. All those rom-coms and their jokes about having that look after getting laid were total and complete bullshit, you realized; to you, sex was just a different, more intimate way to show your love and you just happened to like showing it often (and luckily JJ did, too). You flaunted it in other ways, too, his bandanas tied in your hair and shirts in your closet, your necklaces resting against his collarbone and bracelets you learned to make around his wrists, but there was nothing like the marks you left on each other's skin -necks, inner arms, hipbones- when you were alone together in the dark.

Life went on. Months flew by and things were nearly perfect for you: great friends, good grades, a wonderful relationship with your loving boyfriend. The girl of your past, the one who kept to herself and avoided anything that had to do with being vulnerable like the plague was dead and gone and in her place was the person you always wanted to be. You were happy -ridiculously, deliriously happy- sixteen and so in love with the life you built that you'd almost forgotten about your mom's tendency to relocate your family every few years; that nagging thought was still in the back of your mind but you refused to let it control your life with fear of losing everything -everyone- you'd come to love.

But you knew how the saying went: the bigger you are, the harder you fall.

The higher you climb on an unstable mountain, the more it hurts when it inevitably crumbles beneath you. 

Your mountain didn't just crumble: it was violently torn apart, ripped into pieces by a devastating earthquake, a destructive landslide caused by the one person who promised she wouldn't hurt you anymore but the catalyst that unintentionally set it in motion came from someone you never expected: your sister.

Daisy graduated from the kook academy and got accepted into her dream school, UCLA, alongside her boyfriend Daniel (see, you knew his name wasn't Deke) but you didn't think too much of it. After all, you knew that day would come eventually, the day your big sister would head off to college and leave you, her shadow, behind but the thought didn't fill you with dread like it used to. You had friends, a found family to soothe the inescapable sting of the Daisy-shaped hole in your heart and keep your spirits high when she hopped on that plane to California in the fall.

You still had the summer though and you made it count, days spent with your friends and nights spent with your sister, doing all the things you used to do together when you were little; watching movies, playing games, making a total mess in the kitchen when you baked batches and batches of cookies that had both your boyfriend and hers always hanging around like dogs begging for scraps. You and Daisy started putting them to work the second they ate two dozen snickerdoodles by themselves (Daniel was an excellent cook while JJ was a total disaster) and those nights always ended with the four of you squished together on the couch, wrapped in blankets and cookies and warmth while a scary movie played on in the background. 

The day before Daisy left for LA, you met your parents and sister at The Wreck for what you thought would be your last family dinner until Thanksgiving break but it turned out you were the only one who believed that. You should've known something was wrong the second your dad didn't even make a joke about your friends dropping you off in John B's rust bucket of a van or when JJ pulled you back in for a kiss that was just a little bit too risque for the public eye (You'd laughed when John B and Pope both pretended to gag and just kissed him harder, not giving a single shit about who saw, even your parents.). You should've known when your mother's smile was a little strained or when your sister wouldn't meet your eyes. You should've known but you stupidly didn't see the signs and that made Rebekah's words so much harder to swallow.

"We're moving to California."

You dropped the loaded nacho in your hand back onto your plate as you stared at her, gaping like a fish. "E-Excuse me but what the actual fuck?"

"Language, Y/N." 

"I don't give a shit about my language, Mom, I give a shit about the fact that you broke your promise!" You hissed, roughly pushing your plate away and almost knocking your glass of water over. 

"Sweetheart-"

"You promised." 

Your mother winced at the tightness of your voice and how you snatched your clenched fist out from under her hand. "I know, dear, but I couldn't pass on this offer and I know how much you're going to miss your sister-"

"Yeah, I'll miss Daisy but I don't want to move across the country just to be near her! God, let her be her own person for once!"

"Y/N-"

"And what about me, huh? I'm happy here! This is my home! I have friends, a boyfriend -I'm not leaving!"

"Honey, I understand you're upset-"

"Do you?" You interrupted your dad with a bitter laugh, fighting the tears you felt pricking at your eyes. "Do you understand what you're forcing me to lose?"

Bill looked away as Kiara arrived with your food and set the plates down in awkward silence. You gave her a tight smile when she quickly patted your back and then returned to the kitchen, sending you a concerned glance over her shoulder before she disappeared through the double doors and you turned to face Daisy. 

"Day, did you know?" Your sister avoiding your sudden, sharp gaze was all the answer you needed and your heart dropped like an anchor, weighing heavy on your stomach. You felt sick. You felt furious. But most of all, you felt betrayed.  

Suddenly, the sight of your favorite meal in front of you wasn't so appetizing anymore and you abruptly stood, your chair scraping roughly against the floor. Heads turned to look in your direction but you ignored their curious stares as you snarled with all the venom you could muster across the table at your mother, "I knew I never should've trusted a word you said."

You turned away from her hurt expression -the sheer audacity she had, acting like she was the one whose heart was shattering- and ran out the front door of The Wreck before anyone could stop you, pretending not to hear their voices calling after your retreating back. You didn't know where your feet were taking you but you really didn't care, just as long as it was far, far away from your family.

You ran until your aching legs forced you to stop and you doubled over, hands on your thighs as you tried to catch your breath and it wasn't until you saw the water dripping onto the sidewalk beneath you did you realize you were crying. Footsteps slowed to a stop beside you and your braced yourself to hear Daisy's apology or worse, your mother's, but got Kiara's winded voice instead.

"Did you ever think about doing cross country? 'Cause holy shit," She gasped with her hands on her hips. "You can run." 

Despite feeling like your whole fucking world was falling apart around you, you still managed a snort of laughter at your friend's remark and eagerly returned her embrace when she wrapped her arms around your shoulders, burying your face against her neck. She held you as you cried, running a soothing hand up and down your back until the rest of your friends pulled up in the Volkswagen and you found yourself crying on a different shoulder, one you knew better than your own. 

The white hot fury had left your body and now all you felt was numb. Numb and empty and hollow as you quietly explained everything on the ride back to the Chateau, avoiding your friends' sympathetic stares by playing with a loose thread at the bottom of JJ's shirt. He ran a hand through your hair while you leaned against him and you let his touch slowly bleed life back into your heart. 

"You're not leaving, okay? My parents love you so you can stay with me." Kiara declared later as you all lounged around the bonfire, passing a joint back and forth.

"Or me. My dad would probably let you stay if you helped out around the shop," Pope piped up, handing it over to you without taking a drag as John B added, "Me, too. We have an extra room."

"Tijuana's always nice, too, babe." JJ suggested, grabbing your hand holding the joint and bringing it to his mouth so he could take a hit. "Just a thought."

You smiled softly and took your own hit, slowly blowing smoke into the air. "You guys are the best. I doubt my parents'll change their minds...but I guess it wouldn't hurt to try." It would definitely hurt if your desperate bid to stay didn't work but you tried not to think about that and focused instead on having a good time with your friends, forgetting all about your phone that was switched to silent and burning a hole in your purse. 

Later, after the others headed inside for the night and it was just you and JJ left, you were reminded of your fifteenth birthday. You'd laid like you were now, on a blanket under the stars beside a dying fire and you told him you loved him for the first time and as much as it tore you apart to know it might all come to an end, you didn't regret it. You didn't regret befriending Kiara back in eighth grade or letting the pogues become so important to you or falling so hard for the boy holding you in his arms. And right then, all you wanted to do was hold onto that feeling by showing him your love and getting loved in return. 

You propped yourself up on your elbow and leaned down to kiss him, your other hand slipping under his shirt in the flickering glow of the flames and you smiled against his lips when he immediately rolled onto his back so you were on top, his hand doing some exploring of its own under your sundress.  

"I don't want to feel anything but you tonight." You answered the question in his eyes when you broke apart some time later, both breathing heavily with your skirt hitched up over your thighs and his shirt tossed somewhere on the grass behind you. "Please."

"Here?"

You'd never fucked outside before but you figured now would be the perfect time to try and to be honest, you were too impatient to make it to a bed so you nodded, slowly rolling your hips against his. "Right here."

You lost yourself in the ardent touch of his calloused hands with the haze of smoke hanging in the cool night air, letting everything slip away until he was the only thing that remained. He was all you needed, tan skin slick with sweat and mouth searing hot, your nails trailing scratches down his back while your lips left smudged marks of blood red on his face. He took you higher and higher, doing exactly what you asked him to, over and over until you nearly forgot your own name and when you finally came back down, he held you close until your limbs stopped shaking and your heart slowed back to its normal rhythm.

"I don't want to lose you." You admitted quietly into the dark, wiping at a stubborn lipstick stain on the corner of his mouth and your thumb caught on his lip when JJ shook his head, then leaned down to drop a kiss at your hairline.

"You won't."

You wanted to believe him so badly it hurt but you didn't know if you could so instead you threaded your fingers through his hair and pulled him down to press your mouth to his, his cheek, his jawline, everywhere you could reach, drowning yourself in the right now in hopes that the future would never come. 

"I love you, Y/N. Don't you dare forget it." He whispered it against the shell of your ear before trailing his lips down your neck and the light scrape of his teeth on your skin turned your voice into a breathless sigh as you repeated his words into the air, your back arching from the blanket when he hit a particularly sensitive spot and sent electricity racing through your veins. You may have spoken your love softly but you showed it fiercely, each touch a little harder than the last, each kiss a little rougher and together you burned through the dark like a funeral pyre.

Hope was a dangerous thing to feel; it was fragile and delicate, hard to keep but oh so easy to lose for someone like you, a girl who spent her whole life searching for a home, only to have it ripped away when she finally found it. It didn't matter what you said or how much you cried or even when Kiara and her parents advocated on your behalf, your time on the island was up and just like that, whatever hope you had left disappeared into thin air and left you wondering if you'd ever get it back again.

-

tagging some mutuals who might be interested: @sinkbeneathwaves​ @jiaraendgame​ @sunnypogue​ @alexa-playafricabytoto​ @maybanks​

[colethewolf]

So, apparently Derek and Stiles were supposed to be an actual couple before Davis pussied out and didn’t do it for...hetero reasons? So in essence, they kept writing them as a couple without being an actual couple and threw them together with women they had no chemistry with (Malia, Braeden in Lydia’s case no romantic chemistry) or forced it by paralleling the shit put of it to the point of creating clones (of Stiles and Derek) with vaginas (Paige and Jennifer, Slightly Malia and Cora respectively).

I don’t know why, it’s been so long since it’s been over but finding out that this is a legitimate thing apparently, I don’t know, I haven’t seen the sources but everybody is saying that apparently it came out that they were meant to be a couple before it was nixed, just makes me incredibly angry.

To be perfectly honest I wasn’t huge in this ship or shipping in general however I enjoyed sterek. My thing with Sterek was that I was excited by the fact that there were these two guys with chemistry that bickered and worked well together and respected one another and the best part they were not Hollywood stereotypical. I mean by Hollywood stereotypical is that they weren’t overly sexualized together, they were not overtly either too macho masculine or super feminine. They were strong, intelligent, flawed, messy but good men who respected and seemed to really love eachother without being paraded. The huge draw also and the biggest point was that there were these two side characters with chemistry where you saw it was going to happen and that was pretty exciting for a lot of people.

My brother got me into the show because he was so excited about it. When it didn’t happen he was bummed out, he was angry because of the baiting because he and many other people believed it, even I felt used and I’m not a part of the LGBTQ+ community, but even I assumed and hope that it would happen because at least one couple seemed to genuinely like and respect and care and love each other. It just didn’t happen. Just quasi-promises in the form of scenes were they were written as a couple without the romanticism, thrown into relationships with women they had no chemistry way, the type of non-chemistry that seemed as dry as the Sahara desert on both sides (Or in Hoechlin’s case a case of the weird crazy obsessive stalker pawing at him making the scenes with Derek and braeden that much more uncomfortable because even acting he was uncomfortable and she was drooling at the prospect of getting up on him.)

If I find the link with the actual sources I’ll send them to you in a message because I think it would be pretty interesting to read. I think it’s legit, I mean I assume that it was probably something that they were planning but I never thought that there would be a legitimate sources where they say yes this was supposed to happen but it did not because dumb reasons. And I think it’s real because I’m hearing it everywhere, I’m hearing it loudly, and the anger and the rage that I’m hearing it reminds me of when the ban began way back and the Sterek fandom was initiated betrayed by PTB and Davis after all of the legwork the Stereks did to make the show popular, viewed and honestly the reason it was profitable at all.

You’re probably not interested in hearing any of this but legitimately yours was the only blog that I could think of that would hear this and give a legitimate opinion because you’ve been vocal about it and in a wonderfully honest way with your thoughts. Like I said I’m not a part of the community, I am not someone who ships anything. But I did start to ship them because it seemed naturally written, the chemistry was electric, they worked well together, and anyone with eyes and the ability to hear and understand what they’re seeing could see that the writers wrote them as being very much in love with eachother.

I apologize about the length.



Yes, I’ve talked about this before. I’ve spoken to sources before about what happened and unfortunately there will always remain unknown pieces of information about it. I don’t think we’ll ever get a full picture and detailed timeline of genuine fact. 

But we can piece together the things that we saw and experience without knowing the full details about behind the scenes. For instance, Jeff Davis frequently acknowledged Sterek as a slash-ship. He admitted to intentionally writing Derek and Stiles scenes together and called them one of the greatest pairings in the show. He also frequently admitted to printing out Sterek fanart and posting them around the studio and writers room.  

We also know that he intentionally hinted at Stiles being bisexual. He admitted it. He also frequently baited at the prospect of Stiles and Derek possibly developing into a slow-build romantic relationship. We also know that Jeff was fully aware of the Sterek vs. Derek/Jennifer parallels as he, himself, hinted at them being intentionally set in place during season 3A.

Onto things that weren’t confirmed by Jeff Davis, it was obvious that Stiles/Malia and Derek/Braeden were attempts to no-homo the characters as it was not a coincidence that both characters (who had remained single for seasons 1-3B) decided to both get put into separate heterosexual relationships at the same time, whilst also being purposely kept apart in scenes filmed. 

The reality is that even if Jeff Davis wasn’t singlehandedly responsible for how Sterek was treated in the show, the fandom’s anger was directed at him. And it wasn’t directed solely at him just because. It was because Jeff, himself, frequently announced via. twitter & tumblr that he did NOT receive pushback from MTV executives. 

In fact, Jeff bragged about how the show was his show and that he was able to write whatever he wanted without higher-ups telling him no. It was Jeff who bragged about the show being progressive in terms of queer representation. Regardless of whether or not Jeff had 100% full control over the show and the stories, we don’t know. But Jeff set himself up as the main enemy on his own accord. 

I don’t think the fury Jeff received towards him would have been so strong had Jeff not been so cocky as to preach in the faces of the fans. He liked being the one in charge and then subsequently got pissy when fans turned against him and him alone. I think it was a big lesson learned. 

Personally, I think Sterek was the show. It brought so much status and power to the show, but when they tried so hard to remove every trace of Sterek, that’s when the show crashed and burned. It’s no coincidence that season 3B received 2+ million views per new episode, only for that viewership to immediately tank when Season 4 came around.....the season where Stiles/Malia and Derek/Braeden. And following that, the views only continued to drop harder and harder. 

Had Sterek gone canon, I think the show would have been regarded as a major game changer for television. Instead, I think shows like Shadowhunters, How To Get Away With Murder, & The Magicians really helped bring new standards for queer representation in television. Teen Wolf could have had that, but they fumbled their opportunity with messiness behind the scenes. 

That’s what I think about it. But if you do find those sources, I’d love to hear what they’re saying to see if they match up with anything we already know. 

[virgosaturn]

VENUS SURVEY RESULTS

thank you to everyone who participated in this! it has been fascinating and incredibly informative reading your self-reported answers! 

here were the questions: 

Have you ever been in what you would categorize as a romantic relationship? 

How long was your longest relationship?

What is your venus sign/house?

What are you most often unhappy about in relationships?

What do you most often fight about in relationships? 

What do you wish you were better at in relationships?

*all fractions are simplified*

GENERAL INFO

69 total participants (including me)

MOST PARTICIPATED VENUS SIGNS AND HOUSES

*number in parentheses is total number

Scorpio (9)

Virgo/Aquarius/Gemini tie (8)

8th house (10)

5th house (8)

10th house (7)

LEAST PARTICIPATED VENUS SIGNS AND HOUSES

Pisces (1)

Libra/Leo (3)

7th house/2nd house tie (3)

12th house/3rd house tie (4)

LARGEST FRACTION VENUS SIGNS THAT HAVE BEEN IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

Options included “yes”, “no”, and “it’s too complicated to categorize” 

Cancer and Pisces* (100%)

*Only one Pisces venus participated, so fraction may not be representative of sign

LARGEST FRACTION VENUS HOUSES THAT HAVE BEEN IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

2nd house and 7th house (100%)

11th house (80%)

12th house (75%)

LARGEST FRACTION VENUS SIGNS THAT HAVE NOT BEEN IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

Options included “yes”, “no”, and “it’s too complicated to categorize” 

Taurus (½)

Sagittarius (nearly ½)

Leo (⅓)

LARGEST FRACTION VENUS HOUSES THAT HAVE NOT BEEN IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

9th and 3rd tie (½)

LARGEST FRACTION VENUS SIGNS THAT HAVE ONLY BEEN IN COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIPS

Options included “yes”, “no”, and “it’s too complicated to categorize” 

Libra (⅔)

Aquarius (almost ½)

Aries (slightly more than ¼) 

LARGEST FRACTION VENUS HOUSES THAT HAVE ONLY BEEN IN COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIPS 

6th house (⅓)

3rd house (¼)

LARGEST FRACTION VENUS SIGNS LONGEST RELATIONSHIP LESS THAN 1 MONTH

Aries (slightly more than ¼)

Aquarius (⅛)

No other signs longest relationship lasted less than 1 month

LARGEST FRACTION VENUS HOUSES LONGEST RELATIONSHIP LESS THAN 1 MONTH

4th house (⅕)

1st house (⅙)

No other houses longest relationship lasted less than 1 month

LARGEST FRACTION VENUS SIGNS LONGEST RELATIONSHIP MORE THAN 3 YEARS

Gemini (¼)

No other signs had more than 1 person with a relationship longer than 3 years

LARGEST FRACTION VENUS HOUSES LONGEST RELATIONSHIP MORE THAN 3 YEARS

7th house (⅓)

8th house (⅕)

MOST FREQUENT RELATIONSHIP LENGTH BY VENUS SIGN

Options: never been in a relationship | less than 1 month | less than 3 months | less than 6 months | less than 1 year | less than 3 years | more than 3 years

Aquarius: tie between never been in a relationship and less than 3 months (both short term)

Aries: tie between less than 1 month, never been in a relationship, and less than 3 years (large range)

Cancer, Leo, Scorpio: less than 3 years

Capricorn: less than 1 year

Gemini: tie between more than 3 years and never been in a relationship (very large range)

Libra: tie between never been in a relationship, less than 3 months, and less than 3 years (large range)

Pisces: less than 1 year (only 1 answer)

Sagittarius: tie between less than 3 years and never been in a relationship (very large range)

Taurus and Virgo: never been in a relationship

MOST FREQUENT RELATIONSHIP LENGTH BY VENUS HOUSE

1st: tie between never been in a relationship and less than 1 year 

2nd: less than 3 years

3rd: tie between all except less than 1 month and less than 1 year and more than 3 years 

4th, 6th, 8th, 9th, 10th: never

5th: tie between less than 3 years and never

7th: tie between more than 3 years, less than 3 years, and less than 1 year

11th: less than 3 months

12th: tie between never, less than 6 months, less than 3 years, and more than 3 years

NOTES ON RELATIONSHIP STATUS/LENGTH

More than half of Virgo venuses (⅝)  had never been in an official relationship

Gemini venus had the most range in relationship length among the signs

No 7th house respondents had relationships less than 6 months 

8th house had widest range in relationship length among the houses

Half of 6th house had not been in a legit relationship (1/3 had complicated)

Half of 9th house had not been in a legit relationship (none reported complicated situation either)

MOST COMMON RESPONSE TO “WHAT’RE YOU MOST OFTEN UNHAPPY ABOUT IN RELATIONSHIPS? Note: If no romantic experience, think about friendships. (Check up to 3)

Options: “I don't feel like I'm worthy of love” | “Some of their habits annoy me” | “I don't feel attractive enough” | “I overthink everything they do” | “Something always feels like it’s missing/not enough” | “I feel tied down/restricted” | Write-in option

Aquarius and Libra: I feel tied down/restricted

Aries, Cap, Gemini, Leo, Scorpio: Something always feels like it’s missing/not enough

Cancer: I don’t feel like I’m worthy of love

Pisces: I don’t feel attractive enough, Something always feels like it’s missing/not enough, I overthink everything they do (tie because only 1 response)

Sagittarius: Tie between Something always feels like it’s missing/not enough and I overthink everything they do

Taurus: Tie between I don’t feel attractive enough and I overthink everything they do

Virgo: Tie between Some of their habits annoy me, I don’t feel attractive enough, and I overthink everything they do

MOST COMMON RESPONSE TO “What do you most often fight about in relationships?” (Check up to 3)

Options: “Other person not caring enough/being distant” | “Petty/small things” | “Other person thinks I don't care enough/seem distant” | “They get jealous/possessive” | “I get jealous/possessive” | “They get clingy” | “I get clingy” | “I never fight in relationships” | Write-in option

Aquarius: Other person thinks I don't care enough/seem distant

Aries, Cap, Gemini, Scorpio, Taurus: Other person not caring enough/being distant

Cancer: Tie between Other person thinks I don't care enough/seem distant, Other person not caring enough/being distant, and I get jealous/possessive

Leo: Tie between Other person not caring enough/being distant and Petty/small things

Libra: They get jealous/possessive

Pisces: Other person thinks I don't care enough/seem distant, They get jealous/possessive and I get jealous/possessive (tie because only 1 response)

Sagittarius: Tie between Petty/small things, They get clingy, and They get jealous/possessive 

Virgo: Tie between Petty/small things, Other person thinks I don't care enough/seem distant, and Other person not caring enough/being distant

MOST COMMON RESPONSE TO “What do you wish you were better at in relationships?” (Check up to 3)

Options: Giving them space/freedom | Showing I care | Listening as much as I share | Opening up | Spending more time with the person | Apologizing sincerely/admitting when I'm wrong | Avoiding conflict | Standing up for myself | There's nothing I wish I was better at | Write-in option

Aquarius: Tie between Showing I care and Opening up

Aries: Tie between Opening up, Showing I care, and Standing up for myself

Cancer and Sagittarius: Showing I care

Capricorn: There’s nothing I wish I was better at

Gemini, Scorpio, Taurus: Opening up 

Leo: Tie between Apologizing sincerely/admitting when I'm wrong and Giving them space/freedom

Libra: Tie between Showing I care, Opening up, and Listening as much as I share

Pisces: Showing I care, Spending more time with the person, and Standing up for myself (tie because only 1 response)

Virgo: Standing up for myself

MOST COMMON RESPONSE TO “WHAT’RE YOU MOST OFTEN UNHAPPY ABOUT IN RELATIONSHIPS? Note: If no romantic experience, think about friendships. (Check up to 3)

1st, 2nd, 9th, 12th: Something always feels like it’s missing/not enough

3rd: Tie between Something always feels like it’s missing/not enough and I don’t feel worthy of love

4th and 9th: I feel tied down/restricted

5th and 11th: I overthink everything they do

7th: Tie between I feel tied down/restricted and I overthink everything they do

8th: Tie between I overthink everything they do and I don't feel attractive enough

10th: Some of their habits annoy me

MOST COMMON RESPONSE TO “What do you most often fight about in relationships?” (Check up to 3)

1st: Petty/small things

2nd: Tie between I never fight in relationships and Other person not caring enough/being distant

3rd: Tie between Petty/small things and They get jealous/possessive

4th: I never fight in relationships

5th, 6th, 8th, 11th: Other person not caring enough/being distant

7th: They get jealous/possessive

9th: Tie between Other person not caring enough/being distant and I get jealous/possessive

10th: Tie between Petty/small things, Other person thinks I don't care enough/seem distant, and They get clingy

12th: Tie between Other person thinks I don't care enough/seem distant, Other person not caring enough/being distant, and They get jealous/possessive

MOST COMMON RESPONSE TO “What do you wish you were better at in relationships?” (Check up to 3)

1st: Tie between Showing I care and Opening up 

2nd: Standing up for myself

3rd and 6th: Showing I care

4th: Tie between Showing I care, Opening up, and Apologizing sincerely/admitting when I'm wrong

5th: Tie between Opening up and Apologizing sincerely/admitting when I'm wrong

7th, 8th, 10th, 11th: Opening up 

9th: Tie between Standing up for myself and Spending more time with the person

12th: Tie between Showing I care and Spending more time with the person

NOTES ON RESPONSES

0 out of 3 7th house respondents gave 3 things they wish they were better at

7 out of 10 8th house respondents only gave 1 thing they wish they were better at

2 people did not provide their house, so their responses could not be counted for house questions

[trashahime]

I could care less who the twins mother is, but I just don’t understand the Kagura theory. I keep trying to make it make sense but it doesn’t. Tensaiga couldn’t save her since she was an incarnation. So she couldn’t be brought back to life especially since she was an incarnation. I know there’s the miasma theory out there of why she could be the mother, but Sesshōmaru also has a miasma in his full demon form. I don’t know. The mental gymnastics of this just doesn’t make sense to me.

Also I do have a legit question about this whole illusion theory. Could it be possible that it’s not a training illusion? I think there is an illusion spell that was cast on everyone. And I do think Sesshōmaru knew the prophecy of the jewel and his fate as well. The demons who had children with humans always died for some reason. So maybe he put the twins by tree hoping they would go to the future to have a better life with kagome’s family. But it backfired when only Towa was sent. So an illusion was casted by Sesshōmaru’s mother so Setsuna wouldn’t know her real identity or fate which is to kill her father. His death would have less of an impact on her if she didn’t know him. This also buys him time to train InuYasha with his Meido by sending him to their fathers grave, figure out the Grimm comet, get closer to kirinmaru, riku’s time bending plan and the fate of the world as they know it.

Sesshōmaru makes chess like moves. And yashahime definitely feels like watching 5 different games of chess being played on 1 giant board. I feel like he’s about to pull a checkmate like move soon.

Sorry for such a long ask/rant 🤗

Well there's a lot of different theories about how it's possible Kagura is still alive. Personally, I lean towards a timeline change where her death was prevented. I never blamed anyone for thinking the mamaKagura theories are too far fetched. It is just really annoying that basically everyone thinks we motivated by shipping preferences when it's really that we saw evidence that Kagura is the mom and explored that.

Your scenario regarding the illusion is certainly plausible. I go back and forth myself on how deep it is and the real purpose behind it. At the moment a test/training scenario makes the most sense to me but I could be wrong.

Also, part of the reason I think all Yashahime is an illusion is that I really don't think Sota raised Towa. My position on this would not be as strong if not for the fact that in an interview they pointed out the scene where Towa brushes her teeth as one we should rewatch and it contains the major clues for that.

Some people doubt the interviews contain additional clues but they frequently point out elements/scenes that we should pay attention to. For example, the articles have been emphasizing the stars and night sky for a long time. And now in the show, we have some focus on the fact that Kirinmaru likes to star gaze. I am not sure of it's importance but I do think something significant is there.

And no need to apologise for the length. I am the queen of long winded posts. 🤣

[dgcatanisiri]

I’ve said a few times, I’d sooner have had Felix as a companion over Dorian, on the basis of how Felix has a better claim to being capable of becoming “the Redeemer” of Tevinter society - he is already an outsider to Tevinter culture, considering that he’s the son of a Magister who has minimal magical gifts - Worlds of Thedas says that his grandfather tried to assassinate him for this. Meaning this is someone who has always been on the outside of the dominant culture of Tevinter society. 

Now, if you’ve been on my blog for any length of time, you have probably seen me talk about the difference of queer focus versus queer relevance. Long version is here, short version is that queer focus orients the story on the struggles of being queer, while queer relevance orients the story on something that is relatable across the board, but ends up having resonance for the queer people. 

My go-to example is something like Cullen’s addiction - addiction is something that hits anyone, queer or not. But because of the culture of queer spaces, where our safe spaces are bars and clubs, places where developing these habits is significantly easier, the story of breaking the addiction has queer relevance. 

Or some time ago, I looked at how Cole is pulled between being more spirit-like or being more human-like, and felt that it kinda read like a trans metaphor, of Solas pushing him to be like he had always been, the way that Solas was more comfortable with him, even if Cole had changed from that, or Varric encouraging Cole to explore the person he was becoming, even if that meant he could never go back to who he was before. 

Or, going away from Dragon Age, the Star Trek Deep Space Nine episode Rejoined featured a romance between two women. Now, these women both also carried the memories and personalities of two people who were married. Because Star Trek. In their society, the Reassociation is taboo (so it gets the capital letter treatment), because their people encourage each new life to separate itself and be distinct from the prior lives - Reassociation is so taboo to their people, they are threatened with expulsion from their society if they go ahead and take up the relationship again. It’s not taboo because of it being two women, but the metaphor is obvious because of how it IS, and yet the story doesn’t linger on that fact, all the concern is wrapped up in the natural reactions of the characters involved, how it impacts the characters in universe, letting the audience connect the dots and apply their own awareness.

So, going back to Dragon Age and Felix in particular... There’s that same relevance in him, because he can’t be what his culture says he should be. He has the same position as Dorian in Tevinter society, but for different reasons - he’s the son of a Magister, but he has barely any magic. So that kills almost any chance for him to provide that contribution to the distillation of “the perfect mage.” 

And yet... Since here we have the loving father proceed to accept him regardless, it demands a different story, while still allowing that perspective - Felix can talk about how Tevinter society said that Alexius should have disowned him and had another heir, but Alexius didn’t, choosing to love and accept his son as he is rather than try to force him to be what he is not or abandon him for being what he is. Now it’s not a queer focus, centered on the pain of a queer person, it’s a story where the queer character (since I’m saying swap Dorian for Felix, I’d want Felix as a gay romance) was accepted. 

Considering how awkwardly shoved in the homophobia of Dorian’s story is when we’re three games into the franchise and only being introduced here - because Fenris, the escaped Tevinter slave, SURELY should have mentioned that the nobility of Tevinter don’t approve when male Hawke (new nobility in Kirkwall) romances him, or brought it up against Anders, who romanticizes the fuck out of Tevinter. The few other instances of homophobia in the games could be passed off more as formed from out-of-universe reasons, that the writers still live in a homophobic society, and so are still using that lens - that’s certainly how I was looking at them until Dorian’s story came along. 

Like I saw it the same as all the sexism in the games - they pay a lot of lip service to Thedas being without it, that women are accepted in the armies and leadership, that their Jesus-figure is a woman (and more Joan of Arc-y, but she’s not the center of the IRL religion...), the priesthood is all about women, barring men from higher positions... And yet there’s still a LOT of patriarchal structure, the focus on kings and bloodlines through the son, and, y’know, wouldn’t a society that both worships a woman AND prizes dogs NOT use ‘bitch’ as a gendered slur? You can’t get away from the biases of the society you the writer are writing these things in. You can try, but things slip through the cracks. And that’s legit how I saw any nugget of homophobia in the game as well, as a societal bias of the writers.

Dorian’s story made that impossible. It said that there was genuine homophobia in this society. And it said that this place that I’d seen homosexuality as being a difference that made no difference was no longer that safe space. And I don’t know about anyone else, but I find offering places of safety and acceptance for queer people more important than reemphasizing how damaging homophobia/queerphobia is.

Because I need queer narratives that AREN’T focused on queer pain. Because I can get that anywhere else, I need my power fantasies far, FAR more. Give me queer people who are unquestionably accepted. I’ll take the metaphors, the stories that have the obvious subtext, BUT are grounded within their universe.

So instead of this being an anvil of “my family can’t accept my queerness!” it’s just part of Felix’s character. Because we have Alexius as the character willing to let the world burn to save his son. Hell, I think it would have been GREAT to get Felix’s response to Alexius’s judgment at Skyhold instead of Dorian - it’s not just the mentor figure who has fallen from grace, it’s the father who would have killed everyone for the chance to save you. How do you respond to that?

Felix was better poised to be “the Redeemer” than Dorian was. And he had a queer relevant story without it being queer focus, Make Felix our companion (meaning that we’d probably need a new mage companion for the sake of balance and all, which means probably also changing up at least one other character’s class and story, but since they’re not going to remake the game, this is all academic anyway, so the character element is all that I’m looking at here), have Dorian as like a brother or still the mentee figure, maybe graft the sickness over to him instead of Felix (or build a questline around helping Felix recover). 

And then Felix can speak of Tevinter with the luster worn off, because he’s spent his life seeing the faults of the society, the rot at its core, rather than just having had his eyes opened because Tevinter’s ills have finally reached him - they were always impacting him. He had family members try to kill him because he couldn’t be what they wanted. He’s only able to enjoy what he does because his father refuses to shut him out, something that surely has closed doors for Alexius, maybe even drew him to the Venatori before the sickness.

Felix is a better candidate to be “the Redeemer.” He’s experienced Tevinter’s ills more blatantly and more frequently than Dorian has. Felix should have been the companion over Dorian.