#Muse: Caim

[a-hell-of-a-time-archive]

@keeperofquestions

Caim heaved a sigh as she was surrounded on all sides. It seemed her continued presence in hell struck a nerve with some of the other houses, who made it their mission to take out the half breed by any means necessary. Unfortunately for them, she would not die so easily.

"I guess we have to do this the hard way," she drawled, talons wrapping around the hilt of her blade.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." With a flash, steel met flesh, and the fight was on.

[a-hell-of-a-time]

"Stella wasn't bad. A solid 8, if you will."

[gu6chan]

still can't get over this initial concept art of N like what do you mean that's for Pokemon Black and White rated E for Everyone that's literally Caim Drakengard right there

[a-hell-of-a-time-archive]

@darkseraphscorner

At the sound of approaching footsteps, Andrealphus turned from the elevator he was checking to spot an angel approaching.

"Well now; what do we have here?" he asked, his gaze narrowing as a corvid demon landed at his side.

"An enemy, or an ally?" Caim looked the newcomer over, a hand resting on the hilt of her sheathed blade.

"That I do not know, but perhaps they can speak for themselves."

[a-hell-of-a-time]

"Honestly, the goetia at large would benefit from the harsh discipline and rigorous training required to master swordsmanship, and the martial arts.

I fully plan to raise my son to be proficient in combat." In fact, Caim couldn't wait for when Yukitaka would be old enough to hold his frist wooden sword.

"Honestly, having me trained in combat was one thing both my father and mother agreed heavily on, and I'm grateful for that."

[voicelesshatred]

.:OOC「 One more run of the Castle Environs mission and I think I’ll be calm enough to work.

[gu6chan]

drakengard (2003): inuart's betrayal

[a-hell-of-a-time-archive]

@hells-greatestdad , @hells-sirenqueen

Once everything had been done according to Lucifer's wishes, and the plans made with Paimon, Andrealphus and Caim made their way to the palace. It was agreed that the royal pair should not be left alone, and since Andrealphus's mansion was in the care of his staff and a never ending blizzard, there was little need to stay.

"Grand Marquis Andrealphus and Former Great President Caim requesting entry and an audience with their Majesties," Andrealphus called, Caim following behind as the pair arrived in the palace foyer.

[a-hell-of-a-time]

"Well that's straight up bullshit."

[a-hell-of-a-time-archive]

"Do you have a map with the locations of the elevators?" Knowing where they all were ahead of time would save them in case of a surprise attack.

"I'll double check the evacuation routes and then join you to check the elevators," Caim said, looking to Lucifer first before moving to Andrealphus. "I can move quickly so it shouldn't take too long."

"That's fine," he said, looking back to Lucifer as Caim expanded her wings, taking off in a flash.

"Once the elevators have been attended to, do we remain on standby?"

Upon hearing himself called, Lucifer straightens his stance, willing all the heaviness off his shoulders and from his facial expression, to what extent that is possible.

Lucifer typically wears his emotions on his sleeve, finding it difficult not to. But: he has also had thousands of years to perfect the persona he wears as King. Almost like a mask he wears. (It helps that he typically doesn't need to wear the mask beyond things like official meetings, or public appearances.)

"If evacuation routes are secure, then.... I want you to double check that the elevators are set to be off limits, once we no longer need them. Everyone needs to be on the same page in regards to... well, everything. But that, definitely."

"I want them to be inaccessible by 8 pm on August 7th. Or.... at a moment's notice, if God decides to send us any more baby Purgatory beasts for more 'tests'..."

[toestalucia]

i know ive talked about this a lot on akira but idk how much ive brought it up here ?! the struggles of talking about all my muses across all my blogs (will not change). but ive been thinking about it again, because akira 1) talks more than gran does 2) is more likely to actually speak up about their/your feelings. not to say gran wont address it, but theyll either be very short about it or show it through actions. motivational speeches is reserved for moments when its expected of them (captain stuff in main story, shieldsworn, etc) <-guy who actually does not like being the center of attention

there are times when they get better at it, depending on situation & ppl involved (vyrn&lyria has special rights, even tho there are times when they dont get to know either (no rain no rainbow....)), as the grandcypher & things theyve been through has them learning to rely on others a lot more. in general theyre rly thankful to have lyria around at most times cuz of how easily she feels for others (as someone who gained the life back in her eyes thanks to katalina!), cuz while theyre very often of the same feelings as her, shes a lot quicker at voicing it.

not very related but, gran, as someone who does know how to fight, is instead a lot quicker at stepping in front of others. ofc akira isnt, theyre Normal (even tho theyre always shown doing exactly that anyway if the situation calls for it/the time they ignore a death threat towards them in order to relay important information), but im mentioning it cuz i think a loooooooot about the times theyve jumped off islands/cliffs just to save ppl (alliah, at least 2 times in grimnirs fate eps alone, bnha..........). also constantly think about the yurius event when yurius goes to sacrifice himself and captain & albert are just wtfffff get OUT of there COME BACK HERE and refusing to leave him. caims 5* uncap........ i truly do think a lot about that moment in paradoxroid where no one goes after owen and akira decides to do it themself likeeee.......and akira who stood in front of owens body to protect him from a unicorn,,,,,,(gesture vaugely) something about the things the varied experience about the things they have in common

[gu6chan]

would've loved to have heard caim's wheezing laughter as a 42 year old man tbh........

[a-hell-of-a-time-archive]

@fortiethkey

Having left Yukitaka with Yui back home, and after leaving Andrealphus with more human world souvenirs (why he took a liking to hornet larvae was a mystery to her, but she wouldn't question it), Caim had made her way back to the manor she once called home. While it was not the one she had given up to Andre when she signed over everything as per Paimon's directive, it was the one she had grown up in.

She was returning to her father's house.

It had been many, many years since she last set foot in this place, and all that time apart had left her feeling anxious. She was well aware of the hurt and pain she inflicted by leaving with her mother; Andrealphus had been hurt by her abandoning their engagement, and no doubt her father suffered an even worse hurt by his daughter turning her back on him and going silent for many years after her eighteenth birthday. In the time apart she had gone through many milestones, and losses that her father should have been a part of. Instead she had kept to herself and fled from the goetia. From her father.

There would be no more of that. She was done running from the part of herself that could not be denied. It was time to embrace all of herself, and make amends with one of the most important people in her life.

Curling her talons into a fist, she knocked on the manor door. Hopefully he would be home.

[a-hell-of-a-time]

"You ever get the feeling something major is afoot again?" Caim asked as Yui looked to her wife.

"That does seem to be the case with the denizens of Hell," she said, feeding Yukitaka some natto as an elderly tengu sitting nearby let out a derisive snort.

"Nothing good ever comes from mixing with them, or angels for that matter. You are better off staying out of their affairs, regardless of your father's wishes." Yuto's eyes narrowed at his niece before his gaze swept to her son. "If not for your sake, then for his."

Caim heaved a sigh. "I have already decided to bring my son up in this world and among his own kind, but I cannot ignore my father, or his again."

"...your mother said the same, and look where it got her," he spat, the memory of his sister's death still fresh in his mind. "She was so distracted by that fool that she failed to see such a basic attack-"

"Enough, Uncle!"

The elder tengu fell silent, his expression shifting to something akin to grief. "My apologies."

The trio fell silent as the fledgling continued to eat while watching them curiously.

[laconic-nightmares]

if you have resources on splitting myself (im not sure how it would work? the impetus is a trauma of sorts but it would be a created plurality so idk) then that would be great. For what its worth I do already practice a distinction between the thoughts and 'me' and have used 'you/us/we' to refer to myself for forever?

and yeah, this seems like a bad way to cope but I have few options yk? ill try real therapy for me and esp the thoughtform when im able.

yeah it's difficult to be sure of origin labels when it's complicated like this, but we settled on the origin label of parotraumagenic because, similarly, our first split was due to the trauma of intrusive thoughts but simultaneously 'on purpose', even if we didn't know any names for what we were doing at the time.

as far as the actual creation goes, i don't really know how i did it, i just sorta 'did it' and experienced very subtle switching for about 5 years until i stumbled across the tulpa community. it was there that i created our tulpa, though my intent at the time was to hijack the consciousness that was already there and turn that into a tulpa. it didn't work so well though, but caim in turn used the process of me making our tulpa to give itself a more defined personality so idk, i guess it kind of worked?

also, it's my belief that a lot more people experience at least a form of psuedo plurality than we're aware of as a society. actors and writers have talked about their characters having minds of their own for centuries, and the concept of a muse is also vaguely pluralish. so yes, that distinction you already have is at least a small step towards it. i think it's incredibly common for people with intrusive thoughts to at least do a small version of what we're doing here as a means of coping.

anyway, enough rambling;

this Tulpa Creation Guide (1) appears to be the main guide in use by the tulpa community right now. there is also this giant list of guides (2) to look through

keep in mind that everything here is pretty separated from the rest of the plural community, so there are going to be a lot of different terms and a lot of different ideas as well. i'm a firm believer in picking and choosing what works for you, so don't feel beholden to any ideas presented in those guides that don't vibe with you.

especially don't be too concerned with the idea of making a fully separate consciousness to your own, or their ideas of full possessive switches (hell, you don't even have to have switches at all if you both vibe with that) - i've found their ideas don't fully gel with median systems (3) and that kinda seems to be what you're going for, they also don't always account for differences between polyconscious (4) and monoconscious (5) systems

i also wouldn't really bother with anything related to imposition. it's a cool thing to be able to do in theory, and if you want to get into it that's fine but it's pretty much just intentionally hallucinating your headmate into the real world and it's not necessary nor does it seem very useful for your case specifically

lastly, though there isn't much in the way of intentional creation of headmates, healthy multiplicity (6) has a lot of resources for how to manage being plural in ways that benefit the whole system, and i'd recommend having a look through all of that as well

i have also found a guide for self-directed exposure response prevention (7), which might be a good thing to do along with your new headmate once you're a little more established. i'll also direct you to the tiktok account (8) - along with their first video on the topic - that i discovered this therapy from

i wish you the best of luck and i do genuinely hope that things get better for you soon. thank you for your patience in the delay of getting this to you

plain text links under the cut in case any of them get weird

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Parotraumagenic - parotraumagenic definition

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1feviU9YQ4o773XEDeZHyjKugNoM1hTgA/view - tulpa creation guide

https://www.reddit.com/r/Tulpas/wiki/guides/ - r/tulpa guides list

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Median - median systems definition

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Polyconscious - polyconscious definition

https://pluralpedia.org/w/Monoconscious - monoconscious definition

http://healthymultiplicity.com/ - healthy multiplicity

https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-self-directed-erp/ - self-directed exposure response prevention

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS8xg9u8G/ - ERP tiktok

[blindedguilt]

Name/Alias: Simon/Simone, either or!

Age group: 20′s (but not for much longer im realising...)

Pronouns: Any

Favorite color: Pink and purple!

Favorite food: Mac and Cheese or Kohlrouladen :3 (I dunno if they have an actual name in the US, cabbage rolls???) for that matter mostly anything with cabbage in it even though it makes my stomach hurt lmao

Tattoos/piercings?: Just ears!

Current song stuck in your head?: Father Gascoigne’s theme from Bloodborne. Long story short, a conversation with a friend led me to re-listening to the Bloodborne OST after about a year and discovering that absolute BANGER of a theme, and I swear to god I know nothing about this man other than his name and his status as a boss character but I never knew the term “muse at first sight” could exist so VIOLENTLY till now. I went from feeling skeptical about Bloodborne to wanting to play it specifically for him, i want to hold him in my hands with leonard and jonathan and urick like an injured chickadee. i’m going to tie this stupid motherfucker to a paddle and bat him around like a little ball

Pets?: Two twin cats, a boy named Caim and a girl names Moss! Moss is much closer with my sister though, and I call her Furiae behind her back lmao

Favorite book?: Ufffff... I dunno if political works count so I’ll just be generic and say Aizawa Tadashi’s Drag-On Dragoon: Magnitude “Negative”. I DONT MEAN IT TO PAT MYSELF ON THE BACK, THIS IS TOWARDS HIS WRITING BECAUSE ITS JUST SO GOOOOOODDDD i began rereading some scenes today, actually, and aadah my beloved <3 also the way he writes and delves into the different aspects of characters (Especially Inuart’s envy and Leonard’s dynamic with Seere, which ofc is a treat for me especially :3<) is GENUINELY some of the best characterisation in the whole series im honestly pissed he only wrote this and nothing else for the series. he was the only one who did furiae correctly we need him back

Do you have a 'prized possession'?: A few things: A nice PS2 collection with copies of both Drakengard AND Drakengard 2, not to mention Silent Hill 3 - i hate video game collection but still (or because of this, maybe?) feel VERY happy to have these without the need for emulation! More personal is my sketchbook containing my original Humanity’s Bloodspill concept doodles from when I was 12, my baby blanket i still sleep with, and a necklace with my grandfather’s ashes in it i wear everyday! Then there’s a few VERY old plushies of mine from family and friends who aren’t in my life any longer but I always have them with me~ In short: a lot of things lmao

Dream job: I’d like to work making video games, particularly in the writing aspect of them. In the past I had wanted to go into comics, but seeing that I sucked at art and had more of a penchant for character design rather than paneling and all that, and was even BETTER at writing a good story where I couldn’t draw, I found that scenario writing may be a good path for me to take!

Tea or coffee?: Eghhhh,,, tea had always given me a headache for whatever reason, but I’ve never gotten into the taste of coffee that much. :/ I guess tea, since iced tea I can still stand and DO enjoy (Especially peach iced tea!!)

Hobbies: When I’m not in the mood to write, I typically just play video games! Sometimes I do origami though it’s honestly been a while since I have, same with drawing - and when I can’t find myself the inspiration to do those, I usually just bike around and listen to music

How long have you been role-playing?: the EARLIEST was around 2013 on Google Plus with some on and off Pokemon RPs, but I didn’t solidly get into it till around 2015 with my first (And now retired) muse, Ash Landers/Angela Blanc. Very recent compared to some other people :,) Good memories, but a lot of cringe dfskjgkjd

Who is your most active muse: Overall? I’d honestly have to say Leonard. My OC Zinnia wins the category for Discord RP, though Leonard wins out with Tumblr and just,,, well, as I said, generally overall djfghkdhfd

Significance behind your url?: The short answer would be “Well, Leonard is blind and he... well, he’s suffering from guilt” though if you want a slightly longer answer, I not-so-subtly stole the idea from @voicelesshatred​ when I first started making the blog (Note: we never knew each other at ALL before this, I just saw their blog and got inspired fkhdkhgjkl) and I guess among most of our DOD1 blogs, the pact price + defining character attribute became popular. XD

Tagged by: @poppydedicant​, thanks for the tag!

Tag some friends: @hithernthither​ (It wouldn’t let me tag you for Rogier, so and/or for him too if you’d like!), any blog from @lesbunnian, and anyone else who may like to do this!