#I know you love the office so here’s Dwight

[midnightmoon27]

Happy Birthday to the bestest husband ever! You are my best friend and platonic soulmate 💙 I hope you have an amazing day! 😊 @foreverwithatinygoat

[ohhappyday123]

Office Dynamics

The usual chaos at Dunder Mifflin was in full swing as you settled into your desk. You glanced around the office, noting the familiar faces: your best friend Pam at the receptionist desk, Dwight giving one of his many stern warnings to an uninterested Jim, and Michael hiding behind his office door, occasionally peeking out to see if anyone needed "managing."

You had been at Dunder Mifflin for a few years now, and over time, you had built strong relationships with your coworkers. You were especially close to Pam and Dwight. Pam was your confidante, the one who shared your love for art and a good cup of coffee. Dwight, with all his quirks, had become a surprisingly loyal friend. And then there was Jim, with whom you'd developed a complicated yet exciting "fling."

The camera crew caught you at your desk, and you gave a small wave before starting your work.

Interview with Y/N: "I love it here. Everyone's so... unique," you laughed. "Pam and I have been friends since I started, and Dwight, well, he's an acquired taste, but he's a good friend. Michael... he kind of sees me as his secret favorite. I don't know why, but I'll take it."

As you typed away, Michael's voice echoed through the office. "Y/N! Can you come into my office for a second?"

You rolled your eyes playfully at the camera before standing up and making your way to Michael's office. He shut the door behind you, a serious look on his face.

"Y/N, I need your opinion on something very important," Michael said, his tone hushed.

"Sure, Michael. What's up?" you replied, curious.

"I've been thinking about the next office party theme. What do you think about a ‘Scranton Renaissance Fair’?" he asked, his eyes wide with excitement.

You couldn't help but smile. "I think it's a great idea, Michael. Everyone will love it."

Michael beamed, clearly satisfied with your response. "I knew I could count on you, Y/N. You're the best."

You left Michael's office, feeling a bit lighter. As you walked back to your desk, you noticed Jim watching you with a smirk. You raised an eyebrow at him, silently asking what he found so amusing.

He got up and sauntered over to your desk, leaning against it casually. "So, the boss's favorite, huh?"

You shrugged, trying to hide your smile. "What can I say? I have a way with people."

Jim chuckled, his eyes sparkling. "Well, you certainly have a way with me."

Before you could respond, Pam appeared beside you, a stack of papers in her hands. "Hey, Y/N. Got a minute?"

You nodded, grateful for the distraction. As Pam led you to the break room, you glanced back at Jim, who was still watching you, his smile never wavering.

In the break room, Pam set the papers down and turned to you, a knowing look on her face. "So, what's going on with you and Jim?"

You felt a blush creep up your neck. "Nothing, really. We're just... having fun."

Pam raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh. Just be careful, okay? Jim's a great guy, but office flings can get complicated."

You nodded, appreciating her concern. "Thanks, Pam. I'll keep that in mind."

As the day went on, you found yourself in the middle of a prank war between Jim and Dwight. Dwight had somehow managed to get himself locked in the conference room, and Jim was pretending to have lost the key.

Interview with Dwight: "Y/N is one of the few competent people in this office. She understands the importance of structure and discipline. Jim, on the other hand, is a menace."

Interview with Jim: "Y/N and I have a good thing going. She's smart, funny, and knows how to keep Dwight in check. Plus, she's got this amazing smile that just... well, it's something special."

As you tried to mediate the situation, Michael called another impromptu meeting. Everyone gathered in the conference room, and you took a seat next to Pam. Jim sat across from you, giving you a playful wink.

Michael started the meeting with his usual enthusiasm. "Alright, everyone! I have exciting news. We're going to have a ‘Scranton Renaissance Fair’! And it was all Y/N's brilliant idea."

You felt everyone's eyes on you, and you gave a modest smile. "It should be fun."

After the meeting, as everyone was getting back to work, Jim cornered you near the copier. "So, a Renaissance Fair, huh? Any chance you’ll dress up as a princess?"

You laughed, shaking your head. "Only if you dress up as a knight."

Jim grinned, leaning in closer. "Deal. But just so you know, I'm pretty sure I'd be the one saving you."

You felt your heart race as you looked into his eyes. "We'll see about that."

The rest of the day flew by, and as the office began to empty, you found yourself alone with Jim. He walked you to your car, his hand brushing against yours.

"So, dinner tonight?" he asked, his voice hopeful.

You nodded, feeling a warmth spread through you. "I'd love that."

Interview with Y/N: "Jim and I... we have this connection. It's fun, it's exciting, and it just feels right. I'm not sure where it's going, but I'm enjoying the ride."

As you drove home, you couldn't stop smiling. The day had been filled with the usual office antics, but amidst it all, you felt a sense of happiness and anticipation. Tonight, you'd get to explore whatever this was with Jim a little further, and you couldn't wait.

[freesia-writes]

Pets4Vets: Jesse (2/4)

Chapter 2 of 4 - Word Count: 3.2k - Jesse x Fem Reader Master List - previous chapter here

Jesse’s leg jiggled incessantly in his flimsy plastic chair in the reception area. He fidgeted with his fingers for a bit, then sat back, crossing them across his chest and lifting his chin. You swung open the door, datapad in hand, and scanned the empty room, stifling a grin at the fact that he nearly took up the entire corner. He was indeed “a big boy”, and his thin t-shirt made no attempt to conceal that fact. The giant Republic cog tattooed across his face and head was quite the statement, too. Resuming your businesslike manner, you invited him to follow you.

His eyes roved around your office as the door closed behind the two of you, the large window that made up the upper half allowing you to see people passing by outside. You felt a flicker of self-consciousness that surprised you as the faintest of smiles ghosted across his face at the sight of the many knick-knacks, memorabilia, and images that filled your walls. Past and present animals, with and without their owners, were peppered between what seemed like everything you had ever loved. But why should you care what some random trooper thought? You cleared your throat. 

“So… You’re looking for a large dog ‘or something equally badass’?” you asked, reading off your datapad. 

“Yeah,” he said, simultaneously proud yet a little unsure at his answer now that he heard it read back to him. “I just thought it’d be… nice. I’ve heard good stuff. Brothers seem to like their pets.”

“Many of them do, yes,” you agreed. 

“At least the ones that can’t land a girl,” he scoffed, laughing and nodding at you as though you’d wholeheartedly agree. You didn’t, and stared at him for a moment before deciding to let that one go. 

“The process might sound extensive, but the animals actually have a lot of nuance and personality, so we like to get to know our clients as well as possible so that we can find the best fit.”

“Ugh. You and the matchmaking people,” he blurted, pressing his lips together immediately. You realized he hadn’t meant to let that slip. Now you were torn about calling him out on it or not. Maybe feel him out a bit more first. 

“Yes, it is essentially matchmaking,” you grinned. “Many of these animals will be with you for a good portion of your life, so they do become a beloved partner in a way. Just don’t have sex with them.”

He guffawed so loudly he clapped his hand over his mouth, eyes large at the unrefined sound he’d just made. You couldn’t resist a chuckle at that one yourself. You did have a bawdy sense of humor at times, but it wasn’t always received well, so his laughter was a bit gratifying. 

“Just need to be clear on everything from the start,” you continued. He was trying and failing to arrange his features into the confident mask he’d worn through the door. You were surprised to find it endearing. But no time for that. “So… tell me about yourself. Your lifestyle. Your personality. Your priorities.”

“Kriff, that’s a lot. I mean… I was a soldier, obviously. Did a lot of wild and awesome things,” he grinned. Ah, back in his element. “Basically saved the galaxy. You know. You can show your gratitude in a variety of ways if you feel so inclined.” He ran a head over his bald head, leaning back to manspread a bit more on the other side of your desk. 

You didn’t know what to say, but apparently your face said it all.

“Anyway…” He coughed, then continued. “Now I’m apparently just a regular old person with a job and an apartment and a whole exciting life ahead of me…” A flicker of something crossed his face; you weren’t sure what it was, but you were suddenly quite intrigued. He moved on quickly, however. “So nowadays I work as a personal trainer at Dwight Schrute’s Gym for Muscles. Mostly afternoon and evening shifts. Cause I like to sleep in… After long nights, you know? Ahah.”

“I bet,” you murmured, swiping on the datapad screen. 

“I can tell you’re impressed,” he chuckled. You stared at him for a moment, unable to tell if he were being serious or not. “It’s okay, it happens to everyone.” Gods above, he was being serious. 

“I am… quite stunned,” you said, meaning every word. 

“Well don’t worry, I’ll pick you up if you faint.” 

“Mm. Thanks.”

“Nothing any hero wouldn’t do.”

“Naturally.”

“What about you? What’s your story?”

You looked up, taken off guard. Why would anyone be asking about your side of things? You were suspicious. “Nothing too exciting. I work here. Annnnd that’s about it. So you’d say you’re pretty active… Are you able to get outdoors a lot? If a pet needed a decent amount of exercise? Considering your sleep schedule, a crepuscular animal might be a good fit.”

“No crabs, lady,” he said, shaking his head and putting both hands in the air. “I’ve avoided those all my life and I’m not about to start now.” 

“Crabs?” you echoed, confused for a moment before it dawned on you. “Oh… Not crustaceous,” you clarified, biting back a giggle. “Crepuscular means animals that are most active in the twilight hours, so dawn or dusk. I suppose you’re not up early, but you mentioned a roommate? If they were able to give it a little attention in the early hours, you’d be on evening duty.”

“Alright,” he nodded, toning it down a bit. “I thought Massiffs were daytime animals though.” 

“They are. I don’t think that would be the best fit for you, though.”

He looked affronted, “You think you know me already?” A flash of a grin, both cocky and insecure.

“No,” you smiled. “But I know our animals, and I’ve gotten pretty good at reading vibes.” 

“Vibes?” he echoed, making no attempt to hide the condescension in his voice. 

“Energy, personality, whatever you want to call it. I’m good at pairing.”

“Ah, so you must have an amazing boyfriend then, eh?” he jabbed, unaware of the territory he was wandering into. The sharp look on your face gave him some clue, though, so he tried to correct. “Er, girlfriend? A theydey or gentlethem?” Then he gasped, forcing a conspiratorial look onto his face. “Is it even human?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the absolute ridiculousness. Where did he get the audacity? He was probably expecting you to be overwhelmed or impressed or have some kind of diminutive response. But that wasn’t quite what you were feeling at the moment. 

“Actually,” you said, imitating his tone, “it’s a rancor.”

Now it was his turn to laugh, only this time it was authentic delight and surprise instead of the cocky little “ahah”s you’d been getting so far. You were grinning without meaning to, momentarily pleased by the awe on his face. “Alright, alright,” he chuckled, wagging a finger at you. “So you like it freaky.”

“I actually haven’t been on a decent date in over a year now,” you deadpanned, relishing the shock that replaced his swagger. He legitimately didn’t know what to do with that, and that felt wildly satisfying. “Anyway, that’s all I really need for today. The receptionist will book your next appointment on your way out.”

He was too speechless to craft any sort of cocky response as he shuffled out of the room. 

* * * 

“This place is LOUD!” you yelled to your friend over the music. You’d finally caved at her incessant requests to go to 79s, and after hours of fretting over what to wear and how to do your hair, since you were mostly used to work attire and a ponytail, you were there. You’d opted for a simple black dress but had left your hair down since you wouldn’t be surrounded by animals for a change, although your friend had laughed and said that’s exactly what you’d be surrounded by. 

“You’ll get used to it!” she yelled back, waving enthusiastically at a table of troopers that she apparently seemed to be familiar with. A few of them howled back, beckoning her over, but she pointed at the bar first, and a few of them pushed past one another to meet her there. It was odd to see them all gathered in one place without their armor. Since the Clone Rights and Personhood Act had passed, they had no need for anything other than civilian clothing anymore, but it was still unique to see so many people with the same face. Granted, they all had their own unique style and approach to individuality, but you just weren’t used to all of it quite yet. 

Your friend dragged you to the bar counter along with the troopers, each one wearing a different t-shirt over some plain jeans, and the flirting began immediately. You stood behind the group, squinting to try to make out what was on the menu. The choices were fairly slim… a couple of cocktails or some very watered-down beer, or so you’d heard. Maybe you’d just stick with water tonight. 

Or so you thought.

Two hours later, you were completely drunk, having given in to multiple offers of drinks and dances, and your face was flushed red from the thrill of it all. It was quite unlike you, but you didn’t care. The troopers were adorable and endearing, and you were having an absolute blast learning so many names, dancing like a crazy person, and enjoying the shenanigans of the rowdy bunch. A naval officer currently had his hands on your hips, a gleeful grin on his face as the two of you rocked to the music. You’d been self conscious at first about dancing for all of two minutes, but the clones didn’t seem to care at all. They were just there to have fun, and you’d quickly found yourself caught up in the joy of it all. 

You were tiring quickly though, having danced for almost an hour straight, and you thanked your partner before heading off to the side, leaning against the wall and fanning yourself for a minute. Touching your hands to your cheeks, you giggled at how hot they were. You felt so pleasantly bubbly, just a little dizzy, warm and fuzzy inside, and absolutely delighted with anything and everything. 

“Well well well. Didn’t expect to see you here.” A clone had appeared at your side, immediately recognizable by the giant Republic cog tattoo across his face. 

“Jesse!” you yelled, flinging your arms open and throwing yourself at him for a hug. He stepped back, surprised, and lightly touched your back before you pulled back to regard him fondly. “This place is great!!” 

He chuckled, eyebrows furrowed at the shocking departure from what he’d seen of your personality at the animal shelter. “Yeah, I mean… You alright?” he tilted his head as you giggled, smacking his chest playfully. 

“SO GOOD!” you squawked, hand sliding up to his shoulder, then down his arm. You gave it a squeeze, then dropped your hand. “Damn, lookin good, trooper. What are you doing?”

“Just… hanging out,” he grinned. “You lookin for some fun?” 

“I seem to have found it!” You waggled your eyebrows, stepping closer and toying with his waist. “This place is great!”

“Yeah, you said that,” he laughed. “Want to dance?”

“Hellz to the yeah!” And you started dancing right there, swinging your hair around like your life depended on it.

“Wow… Okay… Let’s get you some water first,” he suggested, now torn between concern and delight.

“Water is for boglings!” you squawked, grabbing his hand and doing your best to drag him to the dance floor. But he was significantly larger than you, and he tugged you right back. You collided with his broad chest and looked up at him indignantly. 

“Water first,” he insisted, tapping the tip of your nose playfully.

“Get out of here,” you laughed, swatting at his hand. “But fine... if it means I get to grind on those juicy thighs!”

“Deal,” he grinned. 

You gulped down the pathetic cup of water he’d been able to wrangle from the bartender, then the two of you hit the dance floor. Whether it was all the pent-up energy you’d choked down from your disappointing dates or just the sheer intoxication of… well… being intoxicated, you were happy to let loose. Jesse was smooth and strong all at once, hands growing heavier on your body as you writhed against him, and you reached an arm up to cup the back of his neck. He lowered his head, brushing his lips against your neck, and hot fireworks exploded throughout your core as you continued to sway together. 

“Want to get out of here?” you yelled, turning around to face him and gliding your hands down his front. Your hair was scattered across your shoulders, cheeks bright red on either side of a dumb grin, and he swallowed. His gaze darkened for a moment, and he pulled you a little closer, cupping your face and meeting your eyes with undeniable desire. But he looked at you for a moment longer, and his shoulders slumped a tiny bit. 

“I’ll walk you home,” he offered.

“No, I meant to bang!” you pressed, laughing in complete disregard.

“I know...” he chuckled, taking your arm and steering you toward the door. "I know."

* * * 

You woke the next morning with a raging headache and a sick stomach. You sank your face into your hands, groaning at your desk as you tried to read the datapad with bleary eyes. Only a few appointments today, thank the Maker. Cleaning the animal kennels had nearly made you throw up, so a quiet day of desk work was about all you could handle before crawling back home to your bed. Your friend who'd taken you to 79s had commed you far too early in the morning, gleefully informing you that you’d been “off the hook”, and while you’d dreaded the answer to your the question you had for her, she’d assured you that you’d messaged her upon arriving at home and that you went to bed alone. 

Whatever else had happened, you couldn’t remember. At least you didn’t have to get tested for "crepusculars", you chuckled to yourself. 

A light knock on your door rang loudly in your ears, and you squinted through your window at the receptionist, who was waving with far too bright a smile for the ungodly hour of 10am. She jerked her head behind her, giving you a not-too-subtle thumbs up as she opened your door and ushered in the cocky clone from a couple days ago. Something about him looked different though… Your wracked your brain but came up with nothing other than an unsettled feeling. Maybe you’d had a dirty dream about him… it wouldn’t be the first time some random client had popped up while you slept. Either way, you felt your cheeks redden slightly as he stepped into your office, the door closing behind him. Only when he sat in the chair on the other side of your desk did you notice that he had two smoothies in his hands, one of which he slid across to you. 

“Good morning,” he grinned, and your stomach dropped as you realized he seemed to know something you didn’t. 

“Morning…” you said suspiciously, taking the smoothie and inspecting it before looking back at him. “What’s this?”

“It’s a lil somethin from the gym I work at… All kinds of healthy crap in it… But it’s supposedly great for hangovers.”

You stared, heart sinking in your chest. What had you done…

“So,” he continued briskly, all business and innocence. “What’s the next step? Meeting some animals today?” 

“Yes…” you said slowly, entirely unsure of how to move on. You were kicking yourself for having been so careless… You were never the type to drink so much that you couldn’t remember. But you’d felt safe and had been so buoyed by the infectious atmosphere… Regardless, there was work to be done, and you turned to your datapad to avoid his eyes. “There are a few different options that I had in mind after reviewing your file…”

“Is that what you call it…” he murmured, causing you to jerk your head up so fast that it throbbed. You winced, rubbing your temples and taking a sip of the smoothie. It was surprisingly refreshing, and you took a few more gulps, staring at him skeptically. 

“Alright,” you snapped, equally indignant and resigned. “Out with it.”

“With what?” His angelic smile made your heart skip a beat, which further added to your confusion. 

“Whatever you’re gloating about.” 

“You just seem so… professional in here…” he said, taking a leisurely sip of his own smoothie before putting it down with a flourish. 

“And…?”

“And a little more laid back when you were grinding on me like your life depended on it last night.”

You were stunned into silence, mouth falling open a little bit as you stared at him, speechless. You couldn’t believe it. He wasn’t even your type. Plus, you doubt he would have let you go home alone if you’d done what he was accusing you of. 

“You’re lying.”

“Mmkay,” he shrugged. Somehow that made you even more incensed. 

“So what else happened?” you challenged, lifting your chin a little bit. 

“Drinks and dancing. You really like to fling your hair around,” he chuckled. “Then I walked you home.”

“And?” you squinted. 

“And that’s it. You said you could make it up to your apartment. Did you?”

“Yes,” you sighed, relieved that your report to your friend had been accurate. But it struck you as odd. Wouldn’t he be the type to take advantage of your momentary lapse in judgment? 

“But if you still want to ‘bang’, as you put it, I’d be happy to oblige.” He folded his arms behind his head, showing off his muscles and arching an eyebrow at you, unfazed by your grimace and audible groan. 

“Did I really say that?” You didn’t even really want to know the answer. 

“Mhm. Didn’t know you wanted me that bad.”

“Kriff,” you muttered under your breath. Why did it have to be him? Of all the troopers in that Maker-forsaken bar… This was beyond repair. “I’m gonna have my colleague Tosak take your case,” you said suddenly, rising to your feet and grabbing your datapad. “He’ll be able to pick up where we left off and you should be able to take your animal home by the end of the week.”

“Wait, why?” Jesse stood up quickly, dropping the cocky facade immediately. 

“You expect me to be professional after that?” 

“No,” he answered bluntly, and you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Exactly,” you sighed, the flicker of a smile touching your cheeks. “It’ll be better this way.” You slipped out the door, once again leaving him in your office, mouth slightly open with a million different things to say.

Next Chapter

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[mamaestapa]

Our Little Peanut|| Joe Burrow x reader

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•requested by: @techno54

•summary: Sweet moments with Joe during your pregnancy with Josie (Prequel to Welcome Home)

•warnings: pregnancy, morning sickness, crying, mentions of sex, lots of fluff

6 weeks (finding out)

You were sitting on the couch watching reruns of The Office and waiting for Joe to get home from the grocery store.

You planned on cleaning up the house today since Joe’s parents and older brothers were coming over for a barbecue with the two of you and your parents. However you didn’t get much cleaning done while Joe was gone because you were exhausted.

You don’t know what you did to make yourself this tired. All you’ve done the past couple days is lay around as you were recovering from a migraine that had you waking up every morning for the past week extremely nauseous.

You were watching the episode where Pam is pregnant and throws up as Dwight eats his hard boiled eggs because her stomach is sensitive to the smell.

That’s when it hit you. Could you be pregnant?!

You and Joe have been married for a year now. The two of you weren’t trying to get pregnant, but you weren’t necessarily doing anything to prevent it either. You both agreed that if it happens, it happens. Whenever Baby Burrow was ready to come into your lives, you were ready.

You got up from the couch and went upstairs to yours and Joes bathroom. You kept pregnancy tests in the bottom right drawer, just to keep around in case you found yourself in a situation like this. You pulled one of the plastic tests from its wrapper and did your business. Once you were done, you put the test face down on the counter and waited

It felt like the longest three minutes of your life. With shaky hands, you picked the test up. You dropped the test as your mouth gaped open in disbelief.

Two dark pink lines were in the circle. You’re Pregnant.

Tears instantly welled in your eyes as you picked the test back up and stared at it. You couldn’t stop shaking as you held the test. As you were standing in the bathroom in disbelief, you heard the front door close and Joe calling out for you.

“Hey baby, I’m home!”

You gulped, trying to control your voice but you failed miserably. “Up here!” you called shakily. Joe dropped the bags on the counter and practically sprinted up the stairs at the sound of your uneasy voice. He walked into the bathroom and frowned as he saw your Y/e/c eyes full of tears.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” He gently grabbed your hand and pulled you against his chest, cradling your head as the tears in your eyes poured over. You pulled away, sniffling. Joe’s blue eyes were full of concern as he scanned your face. You pulled away from him and picked up the test from the counter. You held it up to him, not saying anything and waiting to see his response. His eyes widened as he saw the pink lines.

“Are you serious?”

You nodded, more tears welling up in your eyes. Joe laughed in disbelief and pulled you into a tight embrace. You wrapped your arms around his body and squeezed him gently. He kissed the top of your head and pulled away from you, holding your forearms.

“Are you happy?” You asked, fearing that maybe Joe wasn’t excited about this.

“Happy?” he grinned widely, “sweetheart I’m ecstatic.“

A wide grin made its way onto your face as you wrapped your arms around your husbands neck. His arms wrapped around your waist, squeezing you gently. You pulled away from echother and Joe leaned down to give you a loving and passionate kiss.

“I love you so much.” you said, gazing at Joe with complete adoration.

Joe hummed, “I love you so much too.” He placed his hand on your tummy. Even though there was no bump, there was still a baby. “And I love you Baby Burrow.”

10 weeks (morning sickness)

You rolled out of Joes grasp for the third time in the last hour, sprinting to the bathroom. Joe usually wasn’t a light sleeper, but he has been the last couple weeks. Every time you woke up from morning sickness, Joe was right there with you rubbing your back and holding your hair. Joe frowned and followed you into the bathroom.

You retched into the toilet bowl emptying out your stomach, which you were positive had to be completely empty by how much throwing up you’ve been doing. You groaned into the porcelain bowl as Joe rubbed your back, trying his best to soothe you as you heaved. You picked your head up from the toilet and wiped your mouth.

“I hate this.” You said, frowning as you looked over at Joe who was sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He said softly as he continued to rub your back “But, look on the bright side,” he said, a smile growing on his face, “We’re bringing a baby into this world. It may suck right now, but all of this sickness will be worth it in the end.” He stood from the bathtub and bent down to place a soft kiss on your head, “Trust me.”

You smiled slightly, knowing deep down that he was right. The morning sickness does suck, but you know it’ll be over in a few weeks and it will definitely be worth it in the end.

12 weeks (the bump starts to show)

You were getting ready to go to Joes parents house for the day. His family enjoyed doing family barbecues and get togethers over the summer before Joe started training camp.

You got out of the shower and dried yourself off. Once your body was dry you blow dried your hair, giving your Y/h/c hair a blowout that looked perfect for the summer. You did your usual summer makeup routine before finally slipping into your sundress. As you put the dress on, you noticed it fit a little snug around your belly. You turned to the side, flattening out the dress and looking into the mirror. A wide grin pulled at your lips as you saw your reflection.

You had been experiencing what they call “baby bloat” for the last couple weeks, but this wasn’t bloat anymore.

Your bump had finally started to show.

“Joe!” You called out, excited for him to see what you were seeing.

“What?” He yelled out from the walk in closet, walking toward the bathroom with his gray jeans and white t-shirt in hand. He walked into the bathroom, tone laced with concern as he asked, “What’s wrong?”

You looked up at him and flattened out your dress, causing the small bump to show once again.

“Look.”

Joe smiled, “Well look at that,” he said in awe, “Peanuts finally making its appearance.”

“Peanut?”

Joe chuckled, “Yeah. I figured the baby needs a nickname, we can’t keep calling it Baby Burrow. Plus, I think peanut is a cute nickname.”

You smiled, reaching out for Joes hands, “I think peanut is the perfect nickname.”

Joe smiled and leaned down on one knee, his hands hovering over your tummy. He looked up at you, blue eyes pleading to let him touch your bump. You giggled and grabbed his hands, putting them on either side of your small bump.

“You don’t have to ask to touch it, Joey.”

Joe just looked at your bump in awe. He still couldn’t believe the two of your were going to be parents. Seeing your small bump for the first time though really made things feel real for him. He brought his lips close to your tummy.

“Hi peanut, it’s your daddy. I know you probably can’t hear me yet, but that’s OK. I just want to tell you that I love you so much already and I can’t wait to meet you. Be good to your mommy, okay? She’s working hard to keep you safe and sound in there. Can you promise me you’ll be good in there and not cause too much trouble for her?”

Your stomach growled making both you and Joe chuckle. Your morning sickness has passed and your appetite is now ten times greater than it was before, so you and the baby are always up to eating.

“I think that’s a yes.” Joe said, smirking up at you. You giggled and put your hands on top of Joes head, playing with his dark blonde locks as he finished chatting with your baby. He placed a soft kiss above your belly button before he stood back up to give your lips the same kiss.

You hummed into the kiss, bringing your hand up to his cheek. He pulled away and put his forehead against yours.

“I love you so much, Y/n. You’re going to be the best mama to our baby,” he said, placing a hand on your belly.

You smiled up at him, placing your own hand over his. “And we love you too, Joe. You’re already the best daddy to our little peanut.”

Joe swore he felt his heart swell when you said those words. Our little peanut.

He couldn’t wait for the moment where he holds his son or daughter for the first time. But for now, he’s content with getting to hold your small bump instead.

20 weeks (gender reveal)

“What do you think Baby Burrow is Y/n?” Morgan asked as she handed you the confetti popper for the big reveal.

“I think it’s a boy.” You smile, taking the popper into your hands

“I agree!” Sam shouted, giving you a nod and thumbs up. Ja’Marr held his drink up and said, “Y/n is never wrong, it’s a boy.”

You and Joe both smile at their reactions. Morgan nodded as she handed Joe the same popper, “I have to say I do agree. I think it’s a boy. What about you Joe?”

“Girl,” he said with a big smile, “I am confident it’s a girl.”

Robin, Joe’s mom nodded her head vigorously, “Me too!” she called out from where she was standing.

Morgan stepped back and gave you and Joe instructions for when to pop the confetti. The group of guests started counting down, you and Joe staring into each others eyes as you waited for them to get to one.

Three…

Two…

One..

You and Joe twisted the poppers and pink confetti bursted into the air. Screaming and cheering erupted throughout the back yard of yours and Joes home.

You smiled and covered your mouth in shock. You thought for sure you were having a little boy. Joe dropped the popper and threw his hands up in the air grinning widely. He pulled you into a tight embrace, the two of you laughing and beaming with joy.

“We’re having a girl, babe!” Joe said, that wide grin staying on his face.

“I know,” you smiled, “I can’t believe it! We’re having a daughter.”

Joe put his hand on your growing belly, rubbing it gently. “Now I can finally say what I’ve been wanting to say for weeks now.”

You cocked your head to the side, “What’s that?”

Joe smiled down at you and planted a kiss to your forehead before he pulled back and said, “That I love my girls so much.”

24 weeks (first kick)

You were laying on the couch with Joe, catching up on Yellowstone. You were cuddling into his side with your hand resting on his stomach and drawing shapes on his clothed abdomen as your eyes were glued to the screen. Joe brought his hand down from behind his head and placed it on your belly, pressing gently into your skin.

You chuckled, and pulled his hand away, “What are you doing?”

He put his hand back to your bump and poked all around the swollen skin, “Tryin’ to get her to kick. Zac said it worked every time with his kids.”

You just watched with an amused look at Joe pushed on different spots of your belly, trying to get the baby girl to kick. Joe was obsessed with your bump, constantly having his hands on it as a way to comfort you and let his baby girl know he was there. You absolutely loved it.

His movements stopped and he placed his hand gently over your belly, waiting to feel a kick. Nothing. Joe frowned and tried again, you giggled at him as all of his focus was now on trying to get your baby to kick. You’ve been feeling little flutters and movements for the last couple weeks, but they were never large enough for someone else to feel. Joe was about to remove his hand from your belly when you felt a sudden jolt come from just to the right of your belly button.

Joe looked up at you a smile pulling at the corners of this mouth, “Did she just kick?”

You nodded, “I think your trick worked.”

You and Joe both had your hands placed over your belly, both of you waiting to feel your girls movement once again. About a minute later you felt that same jolt in the same spot.

“There it is.” Joe laughed, rubbing the spot she kicked with his thumb.

“That is the craziest feeling.” You laughed.

“It’s crazy, but it’s amazing.” He leaned down and placed a soft kiss to the side of your bump. Joe swore he could feel his heart swell at the feeling of her little feet kicking his hand.

The rest of the night Joe couldn’t keep his hands off your tummy. He loved being able to talk to and feel his little girl move around in there. It was the best feeling in the world for both of you.

34 weeks (cravings)

You sat up in bed, looking down at Joe who was sound asleep next you. You watched as his chest rose and fell with every breath he took. Joe always looked so peaceful when he slept. You huffed out a sigh, wishing you could be sound asleep too. But your baby girl was keeping you wide awake. Her constant movements and multiple punches to your bladder have kept you up for most of the night. However, it was your late night cravings that made getting sleep nearly impossible.

You’ve tried to fall asleep, but you know you can’t until your cravings are satisfied. You look over at Joe and frown. You don’t want to wake him up, but you know in order for you to get any sleep tonight, you have to wake him. You brought you hand up to his chest, gently rubbing it and hoping it would wake him up. As soon as you started rubbing his chest, Joe stirred beneath your touch.

“Joey,” you whispered, “are you awake?”

He hummed and brought his hands up to his eyes, rubbing them. He knew exactly why you were up, but he still decided to ask.

“Y/n, sweetheart I love you, but,” he opened his eyes and glanced at the alarm clock. He groaned as he saw the time, “it is three in the morning. I have to go to an all day practice in five hours.”

You sighed and dropped your head down to his chest. You brought your head back up and frowned at him. He started to slowly stroke your cheek as you spoke.

“I know, I know. And I’m sorry I woke you up, but,” you sighed, “I really want french fries.”

Joe sighed and bit his lip before he responded.

“What if I bring you two large fries from McDonald’s after practice?”

You shook your head, “Mmm, I won’t want them by then.”

Joe sighed once again. He loved you and his baby girl more than life itself, but he desperately needed sleep.

You put your hands on his chest and pushed your lower lip out in a pout.

“Please? Don’t do it for me, do it for our little peanut. She’s the one that wants the fries so bad!”

Joe shook his head as he smiled at you. You always knew how to guilt trip him into getting things for you. He could never say no to you, especially when you bring up the baby.

“Fine,” he breathed out, “Only because I love my girls so much.”

You sat up in bed and clapped as you smiled happily. He got out of bed and slid on a pair of athletic shorts and some random t-shirt that sat on the dresser. He walked back over to the bed and put his hands on your belly and bent down to kiss you. You hummed into the kiss. Thankful for your husband and excited for your french fried.

He pulled away and smiled as he said, “I’ll be back in a bit.”

And about twenty minutes later, Joe walked back into the bedroom with a bag full of fresh McDonalds fries. He crawled back into bed and handed you the bag. You squealed happily as you pulled out the container of large fries. You shoved a handful of fries into your mouth, moaning at the delicious taste of the salty fries.

“You are the best.”

Joe smiled softly, “I try baby, I try.”

You smiled and picked up a fry, putting into Joe’s mouth, who gratefully accepted it.

You truly did get so lucky with Joe. He’s the best husband and you know he’s going to be the best dad too. As you finished your fries, you grabbed Joes hand and placed it on your bump. He instantly started to run his hand over it, bringing both you and your baby comfort.

“Peanut and I say thank you for the fries,” you smiled, putting your hand over his, “but we’re sorry for waking you up.”

Joe chuckled and moved further down on the bed so he was level with your tummy. He placed a soft kiss to your right side, earning a kick in return from his baby girl. He laid his face against your bump and closed his eyes.

“Anything for my girls.” He said with a content smile on his face.

Joe fell asleep with his arms wrapped around your waist and his head on your belly. You dozed off shortly after Joe and your baby girl was finally asleep too. You swore it was because she knew her daddy was asleep with his head laying right next to her.

You and Joe couldn’t wait to meet your baby girl. And you wouldn’t have to wait long because two weeks from today…your sweet Josie Lee Burrow was born.

hey loves!!

once again, i got SO carried away with this. i had so many ideas and the concept of dad joe is just too sweet<3

i hope you all enjoyed this! i have an update of welcome to the jungle coming this week, so stay tuned ;) but for now, enjoy this cute dad joe imagine

thank you for requesting this!!

hope everyone is well<33

[itspdameronthings]

My Man!!

Summary: Here it is! First Mitch Keller fic! Can't get Him out of my head! This fic is about the reader going home to her cowboy. Not giving too much away! Enjoy!

Sounds of old country music fill my Jeep as I drive home to Oklahoma. Been away too long. Was supposed to be gone for a month,but it lasted much longer than I hoped. Mitch understood. Oh how I missed him. He kept me up to speed on what happened at Bred to Buck. Especially the new person he met. Whom I facetime with while chatting with Mitch. Worry about the shootout that happened! He reassured me that he was glad I wasn't there. Oh to get back home to get back to work. Missed it so much! To be around Mitch. Hated for leaving him rather shorthanded. When my brothers needed me home to deal with an unpleasant situation. Can't let them deal with it alone. I'm almost there! Can't wait to hold my man close again. Never leave him ever again! 

Pulled up to the bar. Shit! Looks great! Even noticed special parking for the employees. Very nice! Parked next to Mitch’s truck. Till a tall dude marched over,” Ah hello! Can't park here! Cantcha fucking read women!” Oh this must be Tyson. Heard about him. Rolled my eyes,” Yeah lard ass I can fucking read. I work here! Was out of town! Name is Breezy.  Now if ya so kind. Like to see my man perform.”  Heard a familiar chuckle. Bigfoot! Went to hug him,” Hay there Kentucky boy! Glad to see ya!” Reached out to hug me,but to spin me around,” Glad your back little breeze. Oh.. I didn't mean ..” Smile,” That's okay. Really only my dad and brothers used to call me that. Also Mitch. So… fill me in on what's going on.”

Dwight saw me as  I approached the door . Hugs me,” Glad you can make it mean alot to him. Thought you were coming tomorrow? “ Leaned against the wall looking straight inside to see a sexy cowboy of mine singing. Looks so good! Biting my lower lip,” Needed to be home. Being with my family was nice,but my mind ,  heart, and soul is here. I know you understand that. Remember you told me about your daughter moving here? Also wanna say congrats on your verdict.” Dwight smiles as he goes to leave,” Welcome, now go be your cowboy.” 

Oh the sounds of the place made me smile! Love how busy it has got! Oh the smells! Then the object of my desire doing his thang! He looks so fine! Miss his long hair. One thing though. Mikestand needs to be higher! Hate he has to scrunch down like that. Standing there watch till I see a dark haired woman watching Mitch whisper a faint remark I couldn't make out,but I know by the look on her face. It wasn't something I didn't want to hear. Noticed Mitch exiting the stage. Heart beating fast as I walked towards him. Seeing that smile that I have been missing so long. Rushed into his arms,” Oh how I missed you baby! Wanna say you look so good up there!” Mitch hugs me close to him savor my special scent he missed for so long. Arms round my waist as we swayed to the music in his head. Didn't want to let me go. Thought it was a dream. Looked over to see that the woman rolled her eyes as she and another lady left. Yeah he's mine not letting him go! Not by a long shot! 

It was getting late. Most of the customers left. Only ones left were us, Dwight, and a few other guys Mitch said he would introduce me to later. Right now he wants to have alone time with me. Go to his newly renovated office. Looks good. Only thing old was the brown leather couch nestled against the wall. Felt his arms around my waist,and his kisses on the back of my head,” I miss ya so much darlin. Miss holding you while we sleep. Can't wait to get home. Since we have work tomorrow. Need ya rest “ Turning around to look into his beautiful blue eyes that calms me. Learned my forehead against his chest,” Never let me go again my cowboy. Can't lose ya “ Not knowing what I meant by that Mitch holds me close,” An’nt gonna do that baby. Why ya think that gonna.. oh let me guess saw a few ladies watchin me with lust in their eyes. Think I'll… oh hell no! You're mine, my little Breezy. Only thing I need is you. Been there since I opened this place. Remember? Now how about we go home? Better yet? How do we get some take out?” 

After a late dinner. Mitch and I retire to our room. After a nice shower both of us got into bed. Mitch smiles,” Never told ya how sexy ya look in my old tees? Now… get in bed. Wanna hold ya . “ Yes sir! Crawled in and lay my head on his bar chest. Playing with his chest hair,” miss this. Ya holding me while we sleep. Miss..” Knows what I mean his lips topf my head, arm around me,” Me too darlin. Me too. Miss your sass,and your perfect body torturin me to no end. Now close those beautiful eyes. Time to get some sleep.” Pull him close. Thinking about how lucky I Am. Finally have someone that loves me. 

Smell of coffee filled my nostrils. Pumpkin spice. Mmm…my man knows what I like. Paying no mind putting on my robe. Went to the kitchen to see Pops with a kitty in his arms. So cute! Smiles at me ,and whispers that he missed me. So sweet! Mitch in only his sweats got me hot and bothered. He knows what he does to me! Leans over for a kiss,” Can't stop kissing those lips. Followed by holding you against me. I Wish we had time,but work awaits us. Now get moving! Boss has spoken!” 

Both of us arrive to see Dwight, Tyson,and other men I haven't met. Mitch cleared his throat,” fellas, let me introduce someone special. My girl, Breezy. Don't worry about her. She is tough as nails. Now don't piss her off. Yeah, she can shoot. “ Moved behind the counter to get things ready for the day. Looking around, I remember how it looked before. Beautiful memories filled my head. Got me through a lot of rough times. Not knowing Mitch was behind me. Holding me close,” Penny for your thoughts pretty girl? “  Hand wrapped around his large ones,” "Memories just memories.”

@dameronscopilot @musings-of-a-rose @romanarose @marmie-noir @rhoorl

[bullet-prooflove]

Can I have Dwight Hendrickson x Fem reader with the prompt "She tastes like the sunshine kissing me"?

Tagging@ @kmc1989 @Atrxdixs @princesschyanne @words-and-seeds @cookiedoughmeagain

Dwight works too hard, you know it, he knows it, hell the whole damn town knows it which is why you’re in his office, closing the door quietly behind you. He doesn’t glance up from the paperwork he’s reading, he’s too engrossed in reviewing the after action reports that have been growing on the corner of his desk over the last week.

He gets like this when he’s tired, hyper focused. He blocks out everything else around him so he can continue to process information in front of him.

You sigh as you gently tug the piece of paper from between his hands. He looks up at you dazed for a second before you slide into his lap. The pretty summer dress you’re wearing rides up just a little and Dwight feels his cock shifting to attention underneath the denim.

“Baby.” You say firmly. “You’re working too hard.”

“I just need  a few more hours…”

Your mouth covers his and the noise in his head just stops, that weight he carries, it disappears the way it always does when he’s with you. It feels like the first rays of sun after a long season of rain. His fingers tangle in your hair drawing you against him. You bite down on his bottom lip and something snaps, all that stress he’s been feeling, it erupts  and suddenly he’s kissing you like his life depends on it, like you’re the only woman in the entire world.

“Need you.” He mumbles against your mouth as his hand slips between the two of you unzipping his jeans. You raise to your feet, tugging off your panties as his dick springs out of the confines of his jeans. You lift up the fabric of your summer dress before you straddle his hips again, the tip of his dick brushing over your wetness.

“Alex, don’t tease me.” He murmurs, his thumb tracing over the apple of his cheek. “Not tonight alright?”

You smile against his mouth, your lips brushing over his as you slowly sink down onto his cock.

“Anything you say Chief.”

Love Dwight? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[urfavsimpingfanficwriter]

PLEASE make a jim halpert x fem reader smut. maybe a little after hours in the office sort of thing 🫣🫣 and i would love if she gave him head before he bent her over his desk 🤗 anyways thanks so much lol

Also Find This On My AO3

I am so sorry this took so long to get to, Finals have been kicking my ass!

!!!SMUT UNDER THE CUT!!!

Word Count: 1139

Warnings and such: Smut; A bit of fluff; Fem!Reader; Oral(Male Receiving); Semi-Public Sex(Empty Office);  Fingering(Fem! Receiving) 

Let me know if I missed anything in the warnings!!

His smooth, yet veiny hands grip your hair as he pushes you farther down on his throbbing member. You gag as he hits the back of your throat, tears almost spilling out of the corner of your eyes. Yet the way Jim groans slightly every time you gag makes you moan, arousal pooling in your panties. The sounds coming from your throat cause a vibration, making him thrust up into your throat even more, fully bottoming out in your mouth. 

“Oh god, you’re gonna make me cum makin’ pretty sounds like that,” He chuckles, trying not to moan.

Your knees burn from kneeling on the grey carpet of the office for so long, and you knew your throat would be sore, but you didn’t care. You would do anything in that moment to please him, to make him come.

You tried to bob your head faster, your teeth barely grazing his dick, your tongue circling his tip for a few moments before you are gagging on him again. Your hands are grasping his thighs as he sits on his desk chair. You clench your thighs together, trying to gain as much friction as possible to appease the ache in your lower stomach, and moan around Jim. 

His member twitches a few times before he unloads ropes of cum down your throat. You swallow around him a few times before he moves you off of him, and, while taking a few gulps of air, finish swallowing him. 

He looks down at you for a few moments, scanning your figure, seeing your mascara and tear stained face, your plump lips, and your thighs squeezing together. 

He smirks and quickly stands up. He reaches his hand out, and helps you off of the floor, picking you up and setting you on his desk, pushing some of his and Dwight's trinkets onto the floor. 

You giggle, gripping the collar of his shirt, pulling him in for a kiss. Your lips smash against each others, his tongue licking your bottom lip, asking for entrance. You open your mouth slightly, his tongue pushing into your mouth, the both of you groaning in unison. He slowly lays you down onto your back, never breaking the kiss, his hands wandering your body. His warm fingertips find the hem of your skirt, toying with the fabric, his skin slightly grazing your inner thighs.

You moan into his mouth, slightly thrusting into the air, and he slowly pulls away from the wet kiss. You start to whine in protest before he lifts up your skirt to reveal your soaked panties. He presses his thumbpad to where your clit would be underneath your panties, and you gasp. 

“Don’t worry baby, I’m gonna make you feel real good, okay?” He murmured, not looking away from the damp patch in your panties. 

You nodded, looking at him with lust filled eyes, and quietly groaned. 

He glides his hands up and down the inside of your thighs before hooking his fingers in the waistband of your panties, slowly pulling them off of you. He tosses them on the floor to the side of the desk, then redirects his attention to your button up blouse. He slowly, agonizingly, takes his sweet time undoing the buttons until your bra is fully exposed. You sit up slightly so that he can unhook your bra from the back, exposing your breasts, the nipples perked at the sudden chill from the air around you. 

He kisses your neck, making you gasp and lean into his touch. He slowly makes his way down your body, leaving little marks here and there, until he reaches your breasts. He looks up at you and takes one nipple into his mouth, massaging the other with his hand, pinching at it a bit, causing you to squirm. 

You moan, wrapping your legs around his waist. He smirks, and swirls his tongue around your nipple as his free hand trails down your waist, making its way to your wet, throbbing pussy. As he sucks at your nipple, he slowly inserts a long finger into you, his thumb finding its way to your clit. You gasp in response your breath picking up in pace, and grasp at his shirt. He slowly thrusts his finger in and out of you, his thumb circling your clit with increasing speed and pressure. 

You groan, arching your back, forcing his finger to reach deeper into you.

He moves his head back up to your neck, whispering into your ear. 

“You gotta tell me what you want, sweetheart, or I can’t give it to you. Go on, tell me.”

“More,” You moan out, grinding into his hand.

“More what, baby? Use your words,” Jim spoke with a smirk, looking down at you.

“More of you, I need more of you,” You spoke, moans interrupting your speech.

At that Jim takes out his finger, his thumb stopping its movement of your clit. You almost cry out at the lack of friction before you feel him lining himself up with your entrance. He inserts himself into you, a little at a time, making sure you are okay. Your pussy clenches around him. You moan, the mix of pleasure and slight pain feeling astonishing. 

When he finally bottoms out in one final thrust, you moan out his name, causing him to groan.

He begins to thrust in and out of you slowly, every thrust picking up the pace and force. It isn’t long before he is pounding into you, his desk slightly shaking at the force of it. The wet squelching sound of your arousal could most likely be heard from outside the office doors, and maybe even down the halls, but who cares. He moves your legs up to where they are hooked on his shoulders, giving him a new angle, making it so he could go even deeper into you. He continuously hits that spongy spot inside of you, making that knot tighten even more. 

“Ji- Jim! I’m close,” you moan loudly at Jim.

“So am I baby, so close,” He responded, groaning at the pleasure.

He thrusts a few more times, and the knot inside your stomach unravels, your legs trying to force close, your nails clawing into the desk, leaving faint marks in the wood. You clench even harder around him, and feel him twitch a few times before he pulls out, unloading onto your bare stomach. 

You both are breathing heavy, and he leans down, kissing you on the forehead. 

“You did so good for me baby, made me feel real good,” He mutters into your hair.

You put your hands on his cheeks, guiding him into another kiss. You feel him smile into the kiss, and he murmurs into your lips, “I love you.”

You smile, and pull away looking into his eyes, “I love you too.”

[rootsofdread]

Hi! Could i request Ace, Dwight, Deathslinger, Wraith and Spirit with an opposite role reader, whose life before the fog is almost identical to theirs, except for places, names and the outcome? Doesn't really matter if it's romantic or platonic, i'll take anythingggg

Dwight Fairfield:

Dwight, honestly, was utterly shocked when he found out you were…normal before you were a killer. No, he knows most killers were relatively normal before they were taken here — but you were normal like he was normal. You worked an office job and had dismissive coworkers. You had to go to office parties where no one talked to you. No wonder you wanted to kill people. But in all honesty — he feels strangely comfortable with you. You’re someone he can relate to, there’s no one else really similar to him here, everyone else is far too interesting. He finds it a bit funny to try to chat with you like you’re both standing around the water cooler…even if he’s afraid it might get him killed for bringing back old memories.

Ace Visconti:

Honestly, Ace can totally see how gambling lead to murder. He had his fair share of threats of knee-breaking, he knows at some point, someone in the same boat as him would’ve turned to murder to solve their problems. That’s not for him, but hey, each to their own. He’s more interested in sharing trade secrets with a fellow gambler, likelihoods, percentages, even ways to cheat. Even if he can’t exactly gamble as easily in the fog, it’s still his passion, and now he has you to share it with. Sometimes he likes to make little bets with you during your trials together, typically gambling with his life. He knows you enjoy a good game as much as he does.

Philip Ojomo / The Wraith:

After learning you had gone through exactly what he’s been through, Philip could never bring himself to kill or even hurt you. He’d heard your story from another survivor under their breath, when he was skulking around behind them. He wasn’t sure what to do with the information, and he began avoiding you where he could so he didn’t have to hurt you. Plausible deniability, if he never saw you, he couldn’t very well sacrifice you. Sometimes, you caught his eyes while he was injuring or downing someone else, and you could tell he knew something about you — and you could tell that you had his sympathy. It takes him a while to want to get closer to you, but you know he loves you. You know he always feels safe around you.

Rin Yamaoka / The Spirit:

Rin is not known for getting very close to other killers, let alone any of the survivors. She keeps to herself. She had heard your story from another killer — you were just like her. You were bullied and disdained by your family, too. She was never sure, exactly, how to approach you. She knows you're probably just as upset and angry as she is all the time, and she knows she doesn't like being approached. For a while, she just left you notes where she knew you'd see them, saying the two of you are kindred spirits, you're one in the same and she understands your pain. She seemed very happy when you came to her after exchanging notes to get to know her better.

Caleb Quinn / The Deathslinger:

When Caleb hears that you were just like him before you were taken, a rough-and-tumble bounty hunter, he knows the two of you will get along perfectly. He had never paid you much attention before, but knowing you had lived a life of crime just like he did, and had someone you hated more than anything…he felt a sense of obligation to get to know you. He’s missed his posse for a long time, and you’re the first step to getting something like that back. He constantly sought you out and told you that you were welcome to come with him on his hunts. You two are almost never seen apart, always lounging around together and ranting about your arch-nemeses. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

[madame-mortician]

FNAF in DBD concepts:

So we all probably heard that FNAF is officially Dead by Daylight's Anniversary chapter for next year, and it's all but confirmed that the killer will be Springtrap, but here are some other predictions and concepts I have. These likely aren't happening it would just be fun.

Springtrap - Vanny Visceral Skin

Pretty self-explanatory. If Springtrap is the chapter's killer (which it most likely is) then Vanny would be a great visceral skin for him. I would say Legendary, but I feel like Vanny would have completely different animations to Springtrap due to not being a robot.

The Dredge - Mangle Legendary Skin

I think this would go hard, as it would be a mess of wires with her main head being obviously the Toy Foxy head, whilst the rest of him would be a mangle of animatronic parts. I think something cool would be if instead of goopy noises, she made radio static noises and metallic sounds. He'd have to have more added wires and limbs to make up for Dredge's size but it doesn't have to be a 1-for-1 recreation anyway.

The Unknown - Michael/Ennard Legendary Skin

This would go hard I think. It would be pretty similar to the Unknown's default design, just purple and more zombie-looking I guess. I think the Unknown works for this idea since it really gives the appearance of a non-human entity wearing human skin to appear humanoid, and that's more of less what Ennard was doing with Michael's rotting corpse. Maybe facially it could look somewhat similar to Josh Hutcherson but that's a bit of a stretch.

Dwight - Nightguard Inspired Costume

Usually, with big video game licenses like this, one of DBD's original survivors gets a skin, typically either Dwight or Feng. While I could see Feng decked out in a Chica cosplay or something of that sort, that seems a bit too out there I guess. I think it would make more sense to see Dwight in a FNAF-inspired outfit, either based on the movie or the graphic novel's security guard design. Hell, maybe he'll just get a purple shirt or a shirt with a Fazbear design on it, idk.

The Map

So I know a lot of people want the map to just be based on one location. However, I personally have a different idea in mind. Similar to the Saw map, they could merge different locations together. If it's a one-for-one recreation of, let's say, Fazbear's Frights, we'd get another situation like RPD, where it's accurate to the original game but also not great for DBD's gameplay. Instead, I think it would be interesting to have rooms and locations based on all of the games. Maybe the office is the iconic FNAF 1 office, and then there's Pirate's Cove, but also the Puppet's music box is here, and there are some broken animatronics lying around that are from various different games. It would also make sense lore-wise since, in DBD, the maps are taken from the character's memories, so it would be like an amalgamation of Springtrap's memories, for example. It would be more interesting than trying to choose one of the iconic FNAF locations, and turning it into a DBD map.

Map Easter Eggs

Adding to my last point, whatever map they decide to go for should be similar to Midwich, RPD and Nostromo, in my opinion. Not structure-wise, but rather with the easter eggs. Midwich has girls crying in bathrooms, shaking bodies, bodies falling out of lockers, and RPD has zombies outside the windows and the save menu music playing in the safe room. Nostromo has the face-hugger in the window, Jonesy in the lockers, and the MU-TH-UR room, and if they added this level of love to the FNAF map, that would be amazing. Some ideas would be hearing the music box music near the Puppet's box (and maybe even the Puppet leaping up from the box), JJ under the office table sometimes, the audio of Chica in the kitchen playing behind the Kitchen door, the Cupcake wandering around and Shadow Freddy/Bonnie randomly appearing in the hallway but then disappearing when you turn around. Stuff like that.

[mysimsloveaffair]

Brianna: I have to have them, but I insist on paying you for them. I’ll meet you at the register.

Bri has judged right; those earrings could sell for over 1000 simoleons. But in his eyes, they now belong to her, and there’s no way he’s charging her full price for them. Having her here today is payment enough, but he tries to settle on a price she’d accept.

Dwight fumbles around upstairs a moment before finally joining Bri downstairs. She agrees to his deflated price and pays him.

Brianna: Thanks Dwight. I’ve taken enough of your time. I still need to find a gift and head to my office party.

Bri turns to leave. Dwight hesitates, then rushes over before she makes it to the door. He clears the nerves from his throat.

Dwight: Before you leave, I wanted to ask one thing.

Bri stops and faces him.

Brianna: What’s that?

Dwight pulls out a rose he was saving for one of his flower arrangements and presents it to Bri.

Dwight: I know this might sound odd because you just met me. But I was hoping you’d allow me to take you to dinner. I mean, I’d understand if you -

Bri stops him mid-sentence and accepts the rose.

Brianna: That’s so sweet. Of course, I’d love to.

Dwight can’t believe his luck. Was that a ‘yes’?

Dwight: Really?

He doesn’t mean to sound so unsure of himself, but he’s never exactly had women beating down his door.

Brianna: Yes. I was hoping you’d ask to avoid me stopping by every day until you did.

Dwight can’t believe his ears. He stands there staring at Bri, admiring her beauty, feeling completely dumbfounded.

Brianna: Look me up on Social Bunny under Brianna Blu. So will I see you soon?

Dwight: Yes – very soon.

She turns to leave again.

Dwight: Thanks for stopping by -

Dwight keeps the last part to himself, ‘and changing my life forever.’

The End

Thanks for reading this short Banks Dynasty Interlude featuring my new character, Dwight, and Dub’s cousin, Brianna.** And thanks to EA for the game code, making this short story possible.

A more generic version of Dwight’s shop is available here: Glitz Flowers & Jewelry

**link takes you to my WordPress website

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Opposites: Ultra Opposites The Movie Ch. 3 (from @avaveevo)

It starts with Yumyulack and Jesse at school.

Yumyulack: Man! What a day!

Suddenly, he hears screaming.

Yumyulack: What the fuck was that?!

Jesse: I don’t know! Come on Yummybear!

The Replicants rushed out of school and sees people in danger on top of a building.

Jesse: Shit! We gotta help them!

Yumyulack: We can’t! We might get in trouble!

Meanwhile… Terry was playing on his Nintendo switch

Terry: Die Bowser motherfucker!

Suddenly, the news turns on.

News Report: Breaking news! Citizens are in danger on top of a collapsing building! Police tries to rescue but failed attempts have prevented! Who can help save those people?!

Terry gasps

Terry: Oh no! Who’s gonna help them? *but then grins as he gets an idea* Wait a minute…

Back with the building

Pam: Help! Someone help us!

Terry runs towards the building and gasps

Terry: Oh my God! Hang on!

Terry suddenly starts flying up

Terry: *gasp* I’m flying?! Woo-hoo! This is fucking awesome! I’m coming citizens!

Leonard: We’re gonna die!

Pim: Jam! There I always wanted to say! I think you’re a brave strong independent woman! I love it when it drives me wild and you are the best part of my office!

Jam: Yeah! I love you too!

Pim kisses Jam as he blushes. The two coworkers and the citizens then suddenly see Terry flying.

Dwight: Who is that?

Pam: I don’t know

Terry: Don’t worry! I’m here to save you!

Citizens: Huh? Whuh? What?

Terry: Trust me! *to himself* Okay, Terry. You got this. Make your husband proud!

Terry then grabs the citizens one by one as they grow shock and astonished. Terry then sees a safe spot and lands the citizens there.

Terry: It’s okay, my buddies! You’re safe now!

Citizens: Whoa! That was awesome! Fuck yeah! Who is he?! You rock man! Woo-hoo! Our hero!

Back with Korvo

Korvo: Huh? I wonder where Terry could be?

Terry enters looking dirty

Korvo: Whoa! Terry! What happened to you?! Are you okay?!

Before Terry can answer, the news turns on

News Report: This is just in, a mysterious alien vigilante saved a group of people from a collapsing building. Whoever did this, thank you mysterious hero!

Korvo gasps and looks at Terry

Korvo: That’s how… I-I… don’t believe it… Terry! You risk your own damn life to save these people?!

Terry: Yep! So do you think? Did I do good or what?

Korvo: Terry… I… I-

Terry: Yes?

Korvo: I’m so…so-

Suddenly, Korvo feels the pain again as he panics and breaths in and out.

Terry: Korvo?! Korvo, are you-

Korvo: STAY AWAY! *runs upstairs*

Terry: Huh?

Terry rushes after Korvo and stops at his and Korvo’s bedroom door. Terry tries to open the door but it’s locked.

Terry: Korvy! Korvy!

Korvo is heard but his voice is deep and distorted

Terry: Korv?

Korvo: GET AWAY FROM ME!

Terry gasp as he backs away

Terry: Korvo? You okay?

Terry then hears roaring as he yelps and backs away. But then, then roaring fades into crying.

Terry: Korvo? What’s going on? You can tell me?

Then, he realizes Korvo is now crying.

Korvo: Terry… please… don’t do that again…

Terry: Huh? What do you-

Korvo: *breaks down in tears more* Just please! Promise me you won’t do that again! I don’t wanna lose you!

Terry: But what if someone wants to-

Korvo: *weeps; voice breaking* Please Terry… I don’t wanna lose you…

Terry: *sighs* Okay…

Korvo concern crying which made Terry even more concern and guilty.

Terry: Korvy? Can I come in?

Korvo: *snapping* NO!

Terry: Hey hey! It’s okay! I promise you can tell me anything!

Korvo: *tearfully* It-it’s something I am not ready to tell you! I just can’t! You’ll hate me if I tell you!

Terry: Okay. Then don’t tell me.

Korvo: *crying* Please Terry! Don’t leave me! *weeps*

Terry: No no! It’s okay Korvy… I won’t leave you… you’re my Korvy… I am not going anywhere… I am staying right here… I promise… I won’t use my powers again… for your sake… because I love you…

Silence…

Korvo: Terry… thanks…

Terry: Anytime.

The door suddenly opens and Terry gasps and blushes at the sight

Terry: K-Korvy?

To Terry’s surprise, Korvo is wearing a beautiful flowing blue nightgown. Korvo is also wearing teal eyeshadow

Korvo: So what do you think, mi amore?

Terry: Woah. You look gorgeous. I mean, you always are but…

Korvo interrupts Terry with a kiss as they moan lovingly. As Terry and Korvo kiss, Terry makes a small flame that then flashes to a flashback of Korvo keeping his eyes close.

Terry: *takes a deep breath* Okay Korvo, I am ready to tell you something!

Korvo opens one eye

Korvo: What is that you wanted to tell me?

Terry gooblers as he gets down on one knee much to Korvo’s confusion

Terry: *takes a deep breath* Korvo, for so long, we made an amazing life on Earth. I know how precious that is, how precious you are, but after making our time on Earth, becoming a family, there is no one I would rather spend it with than you. I love you Korvo. You’re my Korvy and always will be.

Korvo smiles with tears in his eyes

Korvo: Oh Terry…

Terry: And that why I want to ask… *gets out a box and opens it with a ring in it* Korvo, will you marry me?

Korvo gasps

Korvo: Is…is that real?

Terry: Yes. Yes it is… so is that a yes?

Korvo: YES! I WILL MARRY YOU, TERRY-BEAR!

Korvo embraces Terry in a kiss as they moan lovingly and cry with happiness. Terry then puts the ring on Korvo as he smiles tearfully

Terry: I bought it cuz it really brings out your eyes.

Korvo: Oh Terry, that is so sweet. I love it. It’s so beautiful.

Terry: You’re beautiful.

Korvo smiles tearfully and the two aliens head back to kissing the flashback ends as Korvo sniffles next to Terry as Terry holds him close and smiles.

Terry: So, how are you feeling, Korv?

Korvo then falls asleep peacefully as he feel safe in his hubby’s arms as Terry then smiles. Terry carries Korvo to the bed and lays him down gently

Terry: I love you my sweet Korvy. I will still keep our promise, because I want you to be happy. I love you…

Terry kisses Korvo on the forehead. Then, Terry heads on the bed and snuggles with his husband as they snore peacefully.

Unknown to them, Ophelia has been watching them from her crystal ball.

Ophelia: Hmm? So those are the aliens that have those powers huh? We’ll see about that…

Ophelia laughs evilly

[ohhappyday123]

Office Dynamics - Part 3

The sun streamed through the windows of Dunder Mifflin, casting a warm glow over the desks and adding a sense of coziness to the office. You made your way to your desk at the end of the table, right between Stanley and Phyllis. It was your favorite spot, not just because of the location, but because Stanley and Phyllis treated you with the utmost kindness.

Stanley greeted you with a rare smile. “Morning, Y/N. How’s it going?”

“Morning, Stanley. It’s going well, thanks,” you replied, returning his smile.

Phyllis, always the motherly figure, offered you a piece of homemade fudge. “I made these last night. Thought you might like one.”

You accepted the treat gratefully. “Thank you, Phyllis. You always know how to brighten my day.”

The camera crew caught you at your desk, munching on the fudge, and you gave them a thumbs-up.

Interview with Y/N: “Stanley and Phyllis are the best. They’ve kind of taken me under their wing, and it’s really nice. It makes coming to work even better.”

The office was still buzzing with excitement from the Renaissance Fair, and everyone seemed to be in high spirits. You glanced over at Jim, who was deep in conversation with Pam. He caught your eye and winked, making your heart flutter.

As you got settled, Michael burst out of his office, his usual enthusiasm on full display. “Alright, everyone! Today is a special day. We’re going to have a team-building exercise. Trust falls!”

The office collectively groaned, but you couldn’t help but laugh. Michael’s attempts at team-building were always entertaining, if not entirely successful.

The day progressed with the usual antics. Stanley kept a crossword puzzle on his desk and occasionally asked for your help with a tricky word. Phyllis shared more of her delicious treats, making sure you were well-fed and happy.

Interview with Stanley: “Y/N is a good kid. She’s respectful, hardworking, and knows not to bother me during my crossword time. That’s all I ask for.”

Interview with Phyllis: “Y/N is like a daughter to me. She’s always so sweet and appreciative. I love having her around.”

During one of the trust falls, Dwight insisted on demonstrating the proper technique. He climbed onto the table and called for everyone’s attention. “This is how you do it!” he declared, arms outstretched.

Just as Dwight was about to fall, Jim walked over and stood beside you, his arm brushing against yours. You looked up at him, your heart skipping a beat.

“Ready to catch me, Y/N?” Jim asked, his voice teasing.

You laughed, nodding. “Always.”

As Dwight fell, Jim and you caught him, albeit awkwardly, causing everyone to burst into laughter. Dwight stood up, adjusting his tie with a huff. “That’s how it’s done.”

The rest of the day was filled with more team-building exercises, each one more ridiculous than the last. Through it all, Jim stayed close, making sure you were always included and having fun.

Interview with Jim: “Y/N and I are really clicking. It’s amazing to have someone here who gets me and makes every day better.”

By the end of the day, you were exhausted but happy. As you packed up your things, Stanley and Phyllis approached you.

“Y/N, would you like to join us for lunch tomorrow?” Phyllis asked, her eyes twinkling with kindness.

“We’re going to the new Italian place down the street,” Stanley added, a rare hint of excitement in his voice.

You smiled, feeling touched by their invitation. “I’d love to. Thank you.”

As you walked to your car, Jim caught up with you, his hand slipping into yours. “Hey, I was thinking… how about dinner again tonight?”

You looked up at him, feeling a rush of warmth. “I’d love that.”

Interview with Y/N: “Jim and I are taking things one day at a time, and it’s been amazing. The support from everyone here, especially Stanley and Phyllis, means the world to me. I feel really lucky.”

That evening, you and Jim had dinner at a cozy little restaurant. The conversation flowed easily, and you felt a deep sense of connection with him. As the night came to a close, Jim walked you to your car, his hand never leaving yours.

“I’m really glad we’re doing this, Y/N,” Jim said, his voice soft.

“Me too, Jim,” you replied, your heart full.

He leaned in and kissed you, a sweet, lingering kiss that made you feel like you were floating. As you drove home, you couldn’t help but smile, knowing that this was just the beginning of something truly special.

The next day at work, you settled into your desk with a renewed sense of happiness. Stanley and Phyllis greeted you warmly, and Jim flashed you that charming smile that always made your day. The office was buzzing with the usual energy, but everything felt a little brighter, a little more hopeful.

Interview with Y/N: “Life at Dunder Mifflin is never boring, that’s for sure. But with friends like Pam, Dwight, Stanley, and Phyllis, and something special with Jim, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

As you looked around the office, you felt a deep sense of gratitude. You were surrounded by people who cared about you, and you had something special with Jim. Whatever the future held, you knew you’d face it together, one day at a time.

[onceandfuturelesbian]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

i definitely don’t mind, i LOVE getting asks so everyone please feel free to message me or send asks

here it goes

my top 10 favourite characters EVER (in no particular order)

1. nick miller (new girl)

- he’s so chaotic and stupid and i relate to him so much, definitely one of my favourite comfort characters

2. andy dwyer (parks and recreation)

- also chaotic and stupid, i just think he’s funny and adorable, just generally wholesome, another favourite comfort character

3. loki laufeyson (marvel cinematic universe)

- he’s on that absolute king shit!!! chaotic, funny, badass, has magic and can be scary (which is a slay). the fact that he’s queer is a major plus too

4. scott lang (marvel cinematic universe)

- just a goofy lil guy with so much love in his heart. another amazing and wholesome comfort character

5. merlin + arthur pendragon (bbc merlin)

- 2 for 1 cause they’re best together. i read merthur fics everyday and while i know fics aren’t accurate to their actual character/canon, they have one of the best dynamics ive ever seen

6. adelina amouteru (the young elites trilogy by marie lu)

- been ages since i read this but adelina is such a cool character. if i had powers, id want to have hers (or flying, that’d be great). actually went as adelina for halloween once. 10000/10 recommend the young elites

7. lena luthor / morgana pendragon (supergirl / bbc merlin)

- another 2 for 1. i watched merlin because i saw katie mcgrath in supergirl and now i read merthur everyday. both lena and morgana’s journeys are beautiful imo. lena from light to dark back to light. morgana’s from light to dark when it was so preventable. perfect characters for a perfect actress

8. nick nelson (heartstopper tv)

- i related to his s1 storyline quite a bit but overall he’s just such a loving character. sometimes when i see him on screen, i think he’s gonna explode with how much he loves charlie, his mom, nellie. reblog if u also need a nick nelson hug LOL

9. mirabella (three dark crowns series by kendare blake)

- one of my favourite book series and my favourite mc!! like seriously guys look up this series, the original plot is so cool and there’s some plot twists that made my jaw drop - my sister rating goes mirabella, katharine, arsinoe btw hehe

10. dwight schrute (the office)

- he carried the show tbh. especially after michael left. i never rly cared much for jim and pam (ofc i wanted them to get together but i don’t love them). dwight was consistently funny and chaotic, and most of the best plots included/rided on him

honourable mentions:

- lily tucker-pritchett (modern family)

- jaskier (the witcher)

- geralt of rivia (the witcher)

- edna mode (the incredibles)

- craig pelton (community)

- finnick odair (the hunger games)

- lucifer morningstar (lucifer)

honourable duo/trio mentions:

- wong + madisynn (she-hulk)

- steven grant + marc spector (moon knight)

- cam tucker + phil dunphy + gloria pritchett (modern family)

[candyredmusings]

“Another One Of Those ‘Things My Discord Said’ Sentence Starters.

Things taken from DMs and a few group chats from Discord. CW: NSFT Change / Edit as necessary !

i am literally tom cruise

cum is cool.

[NAME]  is fucked up cus he is straight man

[NAME]  show me your fuckin tits

[NAME], you better not be standing catatonic in your room wearing your handmade jigsaw robe again.

its like they creampied me but instead of cum it was new music

like what about my pussy-area makes u think sea cucumber

the mind is weak. but the body is funky

so im reading that fanfic where 1d like, buys your soul or whatever and im shook

well tom servo is a sex god

and then i freaked it

FUCK YOU APPLE JACK FUCK

ILL SLURP WITH YOU

LEMME SHOW U DICK

ITS A SIDE QUEST YOU SILLY BITCH

I’m a zombie the law can’t stop me

LEAVE YOUR GOLDEN UNCRUSTABLES OUT OF MY HOME I WILL NOT FALL VICTIM TO THY TRICKERY

you, telling me to ignore a twink with side swept brown hair? foolish.

Hes so hot i briefly started texting like a straight person

and because I’m god and I’ve decided that. No. In fact. I’m not done.

MY DUMB BOTTOM BRAIN FOLLOWS COMMANDS TOO WELL

[NAME], I know you love bloopy reggae jams. Now is not the time

OH THATS WHAT I THOUGHT YOUD SAY YOU STUPID ACCIDENTAL HIMBO DEMON

man i rlly am attracted to paul mccartney.

its not that kennedy was gay af sleeping w jackies fat ass out, he just has a better one-

jealous of my massive honkeers

YOU BRAINCELLED BITCH

this forced open my third eye and i saw the devil--

oh me seeming romantically interested in u is making u uncomfortable?? noted

the only pussy this party city shake out wig looking mother fucker is getting

[NAME]  expose your teeth right fucking now

IN THE DEPARTMENT OF OLD MAN FUCKING, WEVE GOT YOU BEAT

What if we kissed while one of us got called racist and we are both boys

i just jacked it to minecraft piss porn

I will pop a huge tentacle boner

i hate females fr fr

we left u to die to play minecraft

IM GONNA FRICKLE-FRACK YOUR WIFE

CAN I KARATE CHOP IT LIKE IN SPONGEBOB

DWIGHT FROM THE OFFICE IS NOT MY SKRUNKLY

she would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

My brother in Christ you’re being haunted

i want to wring you like a wet towel and slap u against a wall

Yeah you'll come to learn I just have a thing for milk

Piss ur pants harder pls I wanna watch

I'm gonna corn on the kill myself

good morning to parappa and his stans. everyone else..... hi ig

lol look at this clown with no slurs

God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

this is how I reveal myself to be homophobic

I have no sluts

idk what it is abt it but boba makes me become like an actual whore

im homophobic suddenly

he was like ‘You're so big”.... and i just started crying

anyones penis can be hard hes not special

for the love of god please help me

i can talk about piss for hours

im sorry i havent recognized mickey mouse clubhouse ost as the cultural landmark that it is

I ASKED IF WE WOULD RP AFTER FUCKING BIBLE STUDY OR WHATEVER

the benefits of being a yandere is that i dont have to forgive OR forget and I am a living breathing PVP zone so Fuck with me white boy.

When toxic by ashnikko comes on I enter the gaslight gatekeep phases of my girlbosshood

im like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

[NAME] is just all fucking Sorts of fucked up

im clownfaking

why are we here? to suffer? every other day i get messages from a whore

always thinking abt when my friend called me a "white boy whore"

you gotta PUMP the errand girl with cocaine

im beyond shame bc i love all cock try again

people have fetishes.

They really do crucify anyone these days huh

u may have never hungered for cock but you have hungered for a sub sandwich and honestly? theyre basically the same thing-

hi im drawing hentai

[NAME] idk why but that really. makes me want to stab you

“Don't have sex FOMO, [NAME], no! “

“TRY AND NUKE THIS, BITCH.”

“There's a group of golden skeletons behind you hitting the griddy “

“GRANDPA’S ASHES SUCKED MY COCK AND TOOK ME TO ARBYS.”

“You’re lanky with no gender and silly goofy with the rizz it works.”

“You can’t just tell me I could be a Tumblr sexy man to my face at 4:30 PM.”

"I have strong opinions about the soviet union"

“CALL THAT PUSSY THE MATRIX CAUSE IM IN THIS BITCH AND I CANT GET OUT “

“dont cry. 8000 types of reptiles on the planet, okay?”

[NAME] lives his life like he’s an RPG character but picks only the rude dialogue options.”

“I need to beat off to this before God destroys California.”

"No amount of pussy could get me on a rollercoaster with three loops"

"I love your senior citizen pussy"

"Gerber is pretty reliable .. I mean .. The Gerber baby didn't die .... did it?"

“you are white i assume”

"I hate you terrorist, and you may quote me on that"

"I love watching you play minecraft. It's like watching a baby fawn."

"I've never seen old men who fuck harder."

"i don't need him to KILL i need him to FUCK ME"

"well maybe if you just dicked down your wife she wouldn't have gone on a murderous slut rampage"

"why cant these BIG titty bimbos stop HANGING around me"

[itspdameronthings]

Inside Mitch's Mind

Summary: Title says it all. Some fluff,and there will be smut in future chapter. Promise

Yet another late night at Bred To Buck. Lights are dim. Others left a couple hours ago. Just me and My Breezy. My sweet baby girl asleep in the office. Wish I were there,but my mind is in overdrive. Events from the last few days man! From the fight at the wind mill. To the horrible accident at Tyson’s . Now more than ever I have to keep my Breezy safe. She saw me leave . Runs after me. Didn't hear her! Caught up with me. Took my hand in her small,soft hands,” What's going on! Tell me! Did you get through Tyson's head? Tell me you did?” Looking into her angelic face. Anger is still there as I spoke,” Afraid not baby. Knowing he would do something stupid. If he does? Guilt he would feel.Like I did. Still haunts me sometimes. Couldn't sleep most nights. Not till I found you. My rock. Like I am yours. Now… how about we go out a bit? Hmmm? To I don't know our favorite spot near the house?” She smiles at me. God love her smile. Brightens my day. 

Turns off the bar lights as I walk towards the office. Moonlight shines through the windows. Also falls on Breezy. Deep sleep. Kneeling down so I can kiss her soft lips. Slowly wakes up,” Hey there my cowboy. What time is it?” Kisses her again,” late. How about we go home? I'm dead on my feet “  Picked her up,and holds her close to me. Head rests on my shoulder. Oh my tired one. Watched her all night workin her fine ass off. Since yet again we were short handed. Oh to come right over to her to rub them in shoulders to help to ease her tension. Upon leaving told the others to lock up. After a nice shower. Okay, I had the pleasure of givin my darlin a nice bath. Held her close while we relax. Not the first time we did this. Oh the memories of her doin the same for me after the bang bang fest at the bar months ago. Hands were magic!! Now's my turn. Rub her shoulders first then… those perfect breasts of hers. Favorite pillow. Thankfully she didn't stir till reaching between her legs. Her whimper was so faint ,and oh so beautiful. Kisses her temple,” Easy darlin. Got ya. Enjoy yourself. Relax. Then.. bed time.” Continue my quest to make her feel oh Soo good. Make her cumm. 

Finally both of us in our warm bed. Pullin her close as the sound of the rain fall. Soothin sounds as it puts us to sleep. Whisper that I love her in her ear. Heard her,” Love you my cowboy. Now rest.” closed my eyes to hope my nightmare doesn't return. Still haunts me to no end,but now? As long as I have Breezy near me? Finally at long last. Can rest .As long as I ‘m holding her that is.

Sounds of early morning fills the air. Soothing. Beautiful scenery of home. Away from the day to day stuff. Love living here. Healed my very soul the day I came home,and having Pop,and Breezy here is a joy. Sitting on the porch thinking till I hear “ Love the fresh air. Thought ya were asleep. Wanna talk to your old man about it?” Tell him what? That I’m afraid that two rival gangs are at war? That I'm afraid the ones I care about might be in danger? All I could tell him,” Got stuff on my mind is all Pop. Business stuff ya know. Okay, can't lie. Worried about the shit has been happening. Thugs are out for Dwight,and now Tyson might make things worse! I know it” Pop hugs me,” Hope so son. Have to hope for the best. Also… you need to rest son. Go back to sleep. You need it. Btw? Let your girl help.”  Good idea. Sneaked back to bed. Not before slipping off my tee. Hug her from behind. Smelling her hair. Smell of roses . So soothing. Closed my eyes. Think about something soothin. Yes. Think about the vision in bed with me. Which I did. Moment we shared our first kiss. On the dance floor. Before that it was where the small tables were. Was a busy night. Both of us were so tired. Slow song comes on,and it was so perfect so I could rub her back in small circles. Her moans oh so sweetly. Till.. oh fuck she's doing the same,and those hands hit that very spot that ended my ridin career. Lower back. Scar from surgery that didn't work!! No no! Don't think about it! Focus on this vision! Tilting her chin up ever so gently. Closed my eyes as I kissed her ever so slowly. Afterwards our foreheads touched,and whispers,” Been wanna to do that for awhile now. Never got the opportunity to do so baby. So beautiful, feisty, sweet,and..” She kissed me again. Moment later sleep overtakes me,but my phone vibrates! Fuck! Not now!! See it was Goodie. Didn't say much. Sayin Tyson did somethin stupid! 

I fucking knew it! Knew he would do that! Now he's got us in trouble! I gave my two cents in. Even Breezy. Could see the fear in those beautiful eyes. Clinched her hand tighter. Fear what's to come. How it's time to prepare for battle. Hate to close the bar!  One thing for certain. Gonna end this! Soon as that is done. Bar will be open again. Swear it. If not? Breezy and I will be on a vacation. Alone. Both of us need this. Know the perfect place. Breezy behind me. Arms around my waist,” I know what you need baby. I do too. Alone time before all hell breaks loose.” Can't say no to that. Bout to turn around when I heard,” Jimmy got shot! No!” Time to go ,and kick some ass! 

Note: Hope y'all enjoy this. Been wanting to do this for awhile. Has been fun doing it. Even it took me long time to finish. Might do more wink 😉 😉

@dameronscopilot @musings-of-a-rose @romanarose @marmie-noir

[tiny-buzz]

Regis Philbin and Jim from the Office (Actor John Krasinski) were not longtime friends. In fact, despite working at the same studio in New York City, it wasn't until 2011, close to Regis's retirement, that the two men's paths would cross outside 30 Rockefeller Center.

"Well I was always a huge fan of Regis growing up as a kid" [Jim from The Office is responding to a question that was presented off screen] "So it caught me off guard that he was a fan of my work as well. I remember him saying how he and his wife would watch my show every Tuesday at 9:30 pm EST on NBC. He was blushing slightly, asking the type of questions I was used to hearing at Office fan conventions, like 'Hey, how did you get Dwight's Stapler suspending in Jello like that' and 'So when Kevin spilled the chili, was that real, or just "TV Magic"?' [Jim does a startling skilled impression of Regis here]. Filming for the day had wrapped at that point, and I offered to buy Regis a cup of coffee, so we could continue our conversation further. At that point in my life, my career was ascendant, so I had stopped off in my dressing room to put on what were my usual disguises I would wear in public to obfuscate my identity (A giant scarf with a checkered pattern that reflects back the flash of any Paparazzi cameras, large dark moon-shaped sunglasses, and a plain burlap coat devoid of any logos or symbols and thick enough to hide the shape of my body). I asked Regis whether he would be wearing his disguise and he laughed a deep belly laugh before telling me that he loves his fans, and wouldn't have it any other way. I soon found this to be true when, during our walk, excited passersby would gawk and stare, fully enraptured by Regis' presence. Regis would catch their eye and ask them if they were looking for 'a photo, an autograph, or just a smile'. I remember in a clever bit of role reversal, multiple Spidermen stopped to ask *him* to pose for a photograph. I'll never forget the way Regis joked with the Spidermen, coaxing them to flex their biceps and exclaiming about how strong they were, all the while insisting that they, not him, were the real heroes."

"WE talked for hours after arriving at the coffee shop. He shared his triumphs, his regrets, and the things he wasn't quite sure how to feel about after nearly a half century on television. 'Now don't get me wrong', Regis explained, 'I wouldn't trade one second of it'. As our conversation stretched into the evening, he began to tell me stories that I had never heard, either in the trades our through gossip. He confided that he had had many children out of wedlock, about the overflowing tensions between himself and Kelly Ripa which almost made him question his love of daytime TV hosting, and how he often wondered if Meredith Vieira had the 'Zing' necessary to pull Who Wants To Be A Millionaire US franchise out of its ratings slump."

"EVENTUALLY, apologetically, our barista let us know that they would be closing soon and Regis thanked her with a picture, an autograph, and a $200 cash tip. Regis registered my surprise. 'You want to make it big enough to make it happy, but not so much to make headlines you know what I mean?' he said, gently ribbing me with his elbow. As we waited outside for a cab (this was before Uber really took off), we began saying our goodbyes, exchanging contact information with promises of meeting again someday in the future. When a driver finally arrived he opened the back door began staring into my eyes, looking for something that I wasn't sure was there before telling me that there was 'something I'd like you to see.'"

"I took off my disguise once entering the cab. Though I was initially worried that I would be recognized for my role as Jim, I should have known by now that Regis was the star, and I was merely a satellite in his orbit. Regis opened by giving his home address and then adding that it was his 'final answer'. From the rest of the trip home, our driver was starstruck. He, like me, had grown up watching Regis' glow emanate from the TV screen in his home, seemingly there, in the background of every pivotal life moment, separated by only a thin piece of glass. When we arrived, Regis let him take a photo, then handed him an autograph alongside a very large tip, thereby earning not only the drivers loyalty, but his undying reverence.

"REGIS'S manse was at both times massive, and yet still reflective of his working class upbringing in the Bronx. As we walked through to his study I marveled at all the TV memorabilia that lined the halls: the collar from the original Lassie, the intercom from Charlie's angels, a piece of the Challenger Space Shuttle, as well as an original sketch of Bart Simpson's shorts. 'This!' Regis exclaimed, unlocking the drawer to his large polished oak desk, 'This is what I wanted to show you!'. Regis slowly spread out what appeared to be an old naval map from the 19th, no, the 18th century. 'I want to go here', Regis said, pointing to coast of the colony of North Carolina, 'That's where the best clam fishing is! The problem is, the sandbars are too high for most motor fishing boats. So we're going to have to get creative!' Thinking back on it, I'm almost certain that Regis never asked me if I wanted to join his voyage. Perhaps he didn't need to. I think we both knew from the time I stepped into his home that I was with him no matter where his adventure took us and that that was my final answer."

"WE stayed up late into the night, drinking fermented clam juice, speculating on what the media would say if it ever got out that two of TV's biggest stars would soon be legendary Clam-haulers. Regis spoke passionately at length about his Irish background and the history and fortitude of the Philbin Clan. We made plan to set sail 6:00 a.m. on Friday morning to set sail on the SS Regis Weekend.

"WHEN I arrived at the docks, I immediately felt myself to be ill-suited to the task, especially when compared to the other members of the crew. There was "John" Regis Jr Ripa, a young and jovial burly man with bleach blonde windswept hair fastening a large sail with the Philbin family sigil to the ships mast, Louis Lee, John's half brother, 6 years his senior, checking the ships inventory, a mostly silent man known only as "King" who appeared very much like Regis, only more squat and muscular with large tribal face tattoos, and Regina, the ship's cook, a short and homely woman of unknown parentage. 'So what do you say? Are you ready?' Regis asked, playfully slapping me on the back. Not long after I agreed, I was put to work, and we soon set sail after, due South, where Regis's great bounty awaited us.

"IT was two days in when the storm set upon us. We were all of us, the crew, feasting and drinking in the galley, listening to Regis regale us with tales of what Oprah Winfrey was really like behind the scenes when King burst in. Hurried, he warned us that the severe winds had contracted the sail, and if it was not properly extended, our ship would be blown off course. Spry and nimble, Regis rushed to the ships helm while we Men braved the harsh winds, pulling rope and tying knots to extend the sail of the Regis Weekend. A large wave burrowed and then crept across the deck of the ship, sweeping us away off our feet, and then up and back again from the right side. Encased in a wall of rain, I lost sight of John and Louis, and only saw King again as he was pulled me up after I found myself dangling from the ships side. It was only after the storm had subsided that we realized they had been swallowed by the cruel sea.

"REGIS mourned his lost sons for all of Saturday evening and most of Sunday morning. During that time he retreated often to the captains quarters, making me question whether his entire expedition had been folly. I had grown ill as well, my constitution weakened by a lack of vitamin C after our fruit rations were depleted. I had by then resolved to confront Regis, to turn the Weekend around and return to New York City. That was when I heard it. First a thump, then a rattling, a clicking and finally Regis crying out 'Wowie!'

"On the deck of the weekend were dozens, if not hundreds of clams, leaping from the ocean and onto the SS Regis Weekend. 'Bet you didn't see this coming did ya?' Regis beamed, 'This is just fantastic! Wow!' King and I ushered the deck clams into the cargo hold, then set out nets on the port of the ship to collect the rest. When our holds were filled, Regina cooked a full feast of fresh baked clams and later that night we set course due North. Home"

"THOUGH our rewards were great, our losses were greater. Regis had finally proven that 19th century clam fishing techniques were still viable in the modern era, but in the process lost his two bastard sons. Regis would go on to host five more shows before retiring and I continued in my TV career and beyond, eventually starring and directing in feature film 'The Quiet Place' which contains a tribute to Louis Lee and John Ripa."

This was the only known encounter between Mr. Krasinski and Regis Philbin and only became public following Regis's death in 2020. Every year, on the anniversary of this event [September 9th], Mr. Krasinski will put out a public statement reading simply:

Regis Weekend Has Been Extended For The Next 24 Hours And Will Expire On September 10th.