#I know this stuff because I like learning about them in a ‘wow that’s fucked up and stupid’ way

[hylianengineer]

I continue to be in awe by the power granted to me by having learned to read scientific papers.

[ourceliumnetwork]

people?? being niceys to me???? for no reason except loves me?????????????

it's more likely than i think, apparently.

[skeletalheartattack]

A friendo fmine put me on to a game called "24 Killers" Inspired by the games the chibi-robo people did before they made chibi-robo. I feel like the aesthetic would be up your alley

oh yeah i saw the trailer for 24 Killers just yesterday! it definitely looks a lot like Moon RPG, and i absolutely love it's clay-esque artstyle a whole lot! absolutely want to look take a full look into it whenever i have the chance!

[sodalite-fulll]

I don’t wanna be that guy but shit I just learned that Inside Job was horrifically antisemitic in a episode and like… people are surprised that it was offensive??Like, it’s a show about conspiracy theories being true. And literally 99% of conspiracy theories are just racism or antisemitism or they’re literally things the US government has done.

Im begging on my knees for someone to create a show about the government hiding stuff from the people but make it absurd shit like SCP or something. Fuck it, Men In Black. Do that again please

[livwritesstuff]

i went on a deep dive of the Steve & Hopper ao3 tag yesterday and and it got me thinking about what would happen if Chief of Police Hopper ran into Steve and Eddie while he was on patrol after pseudo-adopting Steve, and it’s been long enough that Hopper is sort of a safe-person for Steve so Steve goes into full-fledged bitch mode when Hopper tries to pull cop stuff on them, and Eddie (who knew about none of this because Steve is a chronic under-sharer) is so totally baffled.

He’d spent years watching Steve sweet-talk his way out of trouble. Even before they started hooking up it used to drive Eddie goddamn insane, because if (when) Eddie pulled any of this shit Steve gets away with, he’d be totally screwed, but all Steve has to do is flash a sheepish grin and run a hand through his hair once or twice and say, all baleful, “I really didn’t mean any trouble,” and he’s home free.

It has its perks though, or so he's learned during his last few months of hanging around with Steve, so when Steve and Eddie’s make-out session is interrupted by the tell-tale red and blue lights of a cop car pulling up behind where Steve parked the Beemer a few hundred yards down a maintenance road, Eddie’s not all that worried. In fact, he’s got a pretty good amount of faith in Steve’s ability to spin up some story to keep them out of any real trouble, and as Chief Hopper ambles over to them, Eddie prepares himself for a whole show of, “Yes Chief, sorry Chief, it won’t happen again Chief.”

So imagine Eddie's complete and utter surprise when Hopper barks, “Hey, morons! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” and Steve only rolls his eyes and says, “What’s it to you?”

Eddie feels his jaw drop.

“Steve,” he mutters through gritted teeth. He tries to elbow Steve into shutting the hell up, but he misses because Steve has already taken several steps forward to meet Hopper, his face turned up in a kind of defiance Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever seen on him before.

“What’s it to me?” Hopper repeats, glowering at Steve, “It’s midnight. I’m on patrol. You’ve got one of the most recognizable cars in this entire damn town parked in a restricted-access zone with this idiot–” Hopper gestures at Eddie (Eddie didn’t think the pointing or the idiot were necessary, but clearly, clearly, he’s missing something here), “–who’s been dragged into my station more times than I could count.”

“The town line, Hop, is over there,” Steve says, pointing at an indiscriminate spot over Hop’s shoulder that may or may not be part of the Hawkins town line, “We’re not even in Hawkins anymore. You’re totally out of your jurisdiction.”

“You wanna know something about jurisdiction, smart-ass?” Hopper asks, “If my report says shit happened in my jurisdiction, it happened in my jurisdiction.”

“Wow,” Steve deadpans, “Way to not sound totally corrupt. Nice work, Chief.”

Hopper’s jaw twitches for a second, and he’s clearly debating if he wants to keep arguing with Steve who, to Steve’s credit, looks like he’s got debate in him for days. Ultimately though, Hopper decides against it and stalks back over to his squad car.

“If you’re not home by one there’s gonna be hell to pay. You hear me, Harrington?” Hopper yells, “One AM. Hell to pay.”

“Oh, sure,” Steve rolls his eyes, “Totally hear you. One AM. Loud and clear or whatever.”

Steve flips the cruiser both birds as it peels away, which Hopper only flashes his high beams at a couple times before he’s gone, kicking up a bunch of dirt and mulch and leaves in his wake, and Steve is wearing an exasperated expression as he turns to face Eddie again.

“God, he’s so annoying. Let’s just go to my house.”

Eddie gapes at him.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Huh?”

“What the fuck was that?” Eddie repeated, gesturing wildly towards where Hopper’s car had just been.

“Wha– you mean with Hop?”

“Uh, yeah?!?”

Steve just brushed him off, “Whatever, just ignore him. He’s basically my dad.”

“What?”

EDIT: read the expanded fic on AO3 :)

[heesimp]

omg yes please write heehoon using that toy (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ

part two of heehoon jerking off together…wow okay i learned that i reallyyy like writing this kind of stuff

warnings: heehoon jerk off together again, mxm (kinda), use of a sex toy, sunghoon catches heeseung watching porn and joins, double penetration of the toy, heehoon fantasized about reader again, mentions of sunghoon masturbating, subtly voyeurism, subtle praise.

-

It’s not a surprise that Heeseung and Sunghoon find themselves in this predicament again.

You just had to wear a dress that made your breasts spill out of the cups and while they don’t understand why you told them you needed your bra size remeasured because it was too small to the point where your tits didn’t fit in them anymore, the image of you without your clothes on was enough to make the drive silent on their way home.

But that was last night. It’s Saturday evening and the unusual silence of the apartment makes Sunghoon uneasy. He’s been cooped up in his room for the entire day, too worked up over a wet dream and thinking about you naked in just that little bra you described in such detail. He’s touched himself twice earlier today and willed himself not to make it a third if he isn’t getting any action. The tissues from cleaning up his cum sit in his trash bin as if to mock him so he goes for a drive to get his mind out of the gutter.

When he comes home, though, Heeseung’s door is cracked slightly ajar and Sunghoon can hear the clear sound of porn coming from inside of his room. The younger man laughs to himself and peeks inside to see Heeseung’s eyes closed with his fist wrapped around his cock. Sunghoon retreats into his room to grab his favorite toy—a doll complete with a torso, ass and pussy—before returning to Heeseung’s room.

“Can’t help it, can you?”

Sunghoon’s voice startles Heeseung and his hand momentarily freezes around himself. He’s half naked, bottom completely bare while his chest is covered by a black t-shirt. Sunghoon opens the door wider and folds his arms while resting his shoulder on Heeseung’s doorframe and chuckles to himself.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

“I know you’re thinking about Y/N,” Sunghoon tells him. He sees the way Heeseung’s cock twitches at the mere mention of your name. The video Heeseung plays on his laptop echoes and women moaning while being obliterated on screen makes Sunghoon half-hard. “You can’t stop jerking yourself off to her too, huh?”

Heeseung relents and averts his gaze back to the video and resumes pumping himself. Sunghoon watches the way his friend’s hand shifts up and down the harder the girls in the video get fucked and walks into his room to peek at the screen.

“Creampie compilation?” Sunghoon asks to himself more than to Heeseung, palming his cock over his pants with his free hand. “That shit’s hot.”

“I want to cum in her so bad,” Heeseung whines, squeezing himself as Sunghoon sits on the bed next to him. Heeseung watches him push the toy on his clothed cock and as he grinds against the silicone. “I need her pussy.”

“I want to fuck her so hard she feels me for days.” Sunghoon moans when he sees cum dripping from the woman in front of him. He squeezes the toy’s ass and bucks his hips. Heeseung moans too.

“Are you gonna use that thing?”

Sunghoon quirks his eyebrow. “Maybe. Why? Do you want to use it?”

“Wanna watch you use it first.”

“Didn’t know you were into that.”

Heeseung rolls his eyes. “Man, let me pretend it’s Y/N. I want to watch you fuck her.” Sunghoon unbuckles his belt and laughs, pulling himself out of his pants and boxers until they’re pooled around his ankles. His cock is hard and he spits on his hand before touching himself to the video before him.

“Got any lube?” Heeseung hands him a bottle without taking his eyes off of the screen and grunts as he watches yet another creampie clip. Meanwhile, Sunghoon squirts some of the lube onto his cock and onto the folds of his toy, using one hand to pump himself and the other to rub it all over the silicone. Heeseung looks at Sunghoon’s hand when he hears the wet squelching.

“I’d stick my fingers in her like this.” Sunghoon pushes his index and middle fingers inside, coating them with the lube while pretending it’s your arousal that touches him while Heeseung keeps stroking his dick. “I wanna see her pussy open up for me.”

“Fuck. That’s so good.”

“I’d slap her little cunt too.” Sunghoon pulls himself back and smacks the tips of his fingers against it until the sound becomes louder than the moans from the screen. “Make her all bruised and sensitive.”

“Shit, yeah.” Heeseung bites his lip. “Put your cock inside. I wanna see her ride you.”

“Like this?” Sunghoon teased, positioning the toy until the folds envelop only his tip. Both hands secure around the waist as he keeps it hovering above him.

Heeseung rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean.” Sunghoon obliges, sinking the toy right into his hardened dick. He moan and looks up at Heeseung’s ceiling as his eyes squeeze shut.

“She feels so good,” Sunghoon moans breathlessly. “Tightest pussy I’ve ever had.”

Heeseung watches his friend lift the toy up and down his cock and notes the way Sunghoon’s balls bounce too. He squeezes his cock harder. “You think she’d let you cream her? For real?”

“She better.” His balls slap against the toy. “I wanna see that pussy all white and sticky. I’d fuck it back into her if she’d let me.”

“Fuck, you’re really good at this.”

Sunghoon bounces his legs until his thrusts are meeting the movement of his hands. “You like watching me get off?”

“Only if we’re talking about Y/N.” Heeseung rolls his eyes while Sunghoon laughs. His friend gets too inside of his own head.

“I want to watch you fuck her too, you know. I’d kill to feel her mouth around me while you’re inside her.” Sunghoon laughs when Heeseung emits a deep, long groan. “I know you’re into that. Two big dicks abusing her holes like we do to this toy.”

Memories of the first time they jerked off together come back to Heeseung. He thinks of himself and Sunghoon in the living room when he brought out this toy for the first time and remembers the feeling of his cock rubbing against his friend’s as the toy stretched around them. It took only a little bit of convincing. Heeseung can’t deny that he really loved the feeling of Sunghoon’s hardness against his own arousal. It felt otherworldly, almost. That makes his hand move up and down even faster.

“Put her on the bed and fuck her,” Heeseung says in a haste. He gestures to Sunghoon with his head and the sheer desperation in Heeseung’s voice makes Sunghoon click his tongue, but he doesn’t disobey.

He watches Sunghoon pull the toy off of him and sees his cock bounces as his balls glisten from the precum too. Sunghoon turns around, still with his pants and boxers around his ankles, and pushes the toy onto the mattress with its pussy presented to him. Heeseung grunts as his friend smears his tip over the wet folds and pretends you’re looking at him with wide eyes as you grope yourself. That makes Heeseung grip his balls and squeeze them as if your hand could reach out to touch him too.

Sunghoon sinks in slowly and his deep moan is louder than the video on Heeseung’s computer. He doesn’t hold back either, putting both hands on the mattress below while his hips slang to push his dick in and out of the toy. Heeseung’s mouth hangs ajar as he watches his friend fuck the toy pussy and hears the hollow sound of the silicone as it gets pounced into, wishing it was your pussy that talks back.

“I think you like watching me fuck people,” Sunghoon says with an edge to his voice. He looks and Heeseung and moans when he realizes his friend’s hand hasn’t decreased in speed. “Imagine if we both fucked her pussy.”

“I’m so close.” Heeseung squeezes his balls as he twists his wrist up and down his dick.

“Fuuuck. Her little pussy’s gonna make me cum too.”

“I want to hear her beg for our cum.” Heeseung grunts and widens his legs further.

Sunghoon feels himself drawing closer too. “Fuck, fuck. Find a video.”

“A video?”

“Someone begging for cum!” Sunghoon exclaims, eyebrows furrowing as sweat stains his forehead. Heeseung types with one hand and does his best to open his bookmarks without clicking on anything he doesn’t want to see. He’s got enough porn stashed for a rainy day and knows the exact video he needs to get off you.

“You’ll love this.” Heeseung turns the laptop towards Sunghoon, who pulls his cock out of the toy and walks closer to his friend. “It flows out of her.”

“Come here.”

Sunghoon’s command makes Heeseung push his cock towards his friend, who brings his own against him. Heeseung winces at the still-unfamiliar feeling of somebody’s dick pressing against his own but welcomes the warmth when he sees Sunghoon pushing the toy’s pussy over both of their tips. He pretends it’s you they’re fucking.

“Fuck me,” Heeseung moans when Sunghoon starts to thrust against him. “Her pussy’s sensational.”

Sunghoon grunts, eyes focusing on the video beside them. “Good girls like cum stuffed inside of them.”

“Give me your fucking cum!” the girl in the video begs. “I want a creampie. Can’t you see how much I want it?”

“I’ll give it to you,” says Sunghoon. Heeseung, lost in his ability to think and function properly, thrusts against Sunghoon too. “Oh shit, Hee. Keep going. Fuck her pussy too.”

“Need your cum in me now! Please, please, please give it to me.”

“Fuck. I’m cumming.” Heeseung feels his balls start to tighten and clenches his jaw as Sunghoon pushes against his cock with more force.

“Cum! Cum in me!”

“I’m cumming too.” One final thrust from Sunghoon makes Heeseung’s cock burst and the flow of his cum makes Sunghoon cream the toy too, both of them moaning your name as they reach their absolute peak.

They don’t stop thrusting, riding out their collective high as their mixed cum slathers their warm cocks and bubbles out of the toy. Sunghoon feels their combined loads seep down to his balls the more he slaps it against the toy.

The video ends and Heeseung folds the laptop shut as he pulses against Sunghoon, who holds the toy still above them as he finishes cumming. He only pulls it away after making sure both of them have released every last drop and watches as it flows out and onto Heeseung’s softening dick.

“Gets better every time,” Sunghoon whispers, bringing his fingers to rub the toy’s folds and stuff their cum back inside. “You good?”

“I want to try double penetration with Y/N even more now…Is it weird that I liked that? A lot?”

“Nah.” Sunghoon tosses Heeseung a tissue box. “Whatever helps you get off.”

***

please reblog and leave a comment if you enjoyed :) x

[enemui]

So Mel Medarda

Watched her own mother behead a woman when she was a child

Was exiled from her own family for not being ruthless enough

Still managed to make herself prominent enough to become a member of the Piltover council

Helped two young inventors pursue their project even though it seemed like what they were doing is madness—This brought incredible profit and technological advancements to the city. And then it also turned out this stuff was causing crazy magic polution, which she couldn't have known but now can blame herself for, since she supported the project.

She was there for the bombing of her workplace which killed half of her colleagues, crippled one and almost killed her at-the-time lover's partner. Then she learned why she was unscathed was dormant magic powers, so now she gets to grapple with the reality that she could've saved them all if she just knew about this stuff and how to control it. At the same time, if she didn't subconsciously activate that shield, she would've been dead. Like. Wow. Oh my God.

Then she got attacked again, directly had a gun pointed at her and when she tried to escape, she got trapped in a carriage that toppled over.

Then she got kidnapped and watched as her kidnapper brutally murdered her friend. Then said kidnapper took the form of her late brother and tried to play with her emotionally and she bashed that bitch's head in.

Then this kidnapper tried to manipulate her into betraying her own mom.

It's revealed she has crazy magic powers which have been kept from her her whole life, her mom basically traded her brother's life for hers to hide her away and now she has to grapple with the fact that this is what she is, and God knows what other people might think of her if they learn.

She saved Jayce's ungrateful ass from the Viktor robot, after he literally had the worst fucking reaction to the previous point.

She saved Caitlin's life.

She killed her kidnapper.

She held her own mother and watched her die.

And now she basically has to return home to take over as the new head of the family, despite all the connections and the life she built in Piltover, not to mention that place also got fucked and she can't even be there to help rebuild, because she has all this other shit going on and God knows when will all this finally emotionally break her.

Did I miss anything?

Like, holy shit, Mel Medarda the character you are. The shit you've been through that nobody gives you enough credit for.

I want more of this woman. I want her to finally be actually happy, not just on top of things or in control. I want her to experience good things to make up for all this crap and then I want to see her do cool magic stuff, while still being the intelligent ruler that she is.

[kick-a-long]

so let me get this straight. elon musk retweeted or tweeted an antisemitic comment (because he's an antisemitic asshole from a very antisemitic country south africa) and he was critizised to the point that he took a trip to israel to like reflect and learn about how jews don't eat babies or whatever. but...

Ta-Nehisi Coates, an antisemitic asshole who's antisemitic dad also publishes antisemitic books just one's he's too lazy to write, says in person, recorded on video, without retraction.... that he would join in on the rape, murder, infanticide, and kidnapping of jews, if given the chance... and trevor noah (from very antisemitic country south africa) agreed whole heartedly and adding that it's like the american revolution.... which implies that isreal rode into gaza and lebanon ans was dictating how those countries operate and taking taxes which is WHAT IRAN DOES THROUGH HAMAS AND HEZBOLLAH ALONG WITH THE RAPES AND MURDERS... but there's no media outlet saying that might be kind of fucked up and maybe they should apologize or some vague insincere bullshit... I'm sorry?

and also Christopher Columbus... THE symbol for Catholics in America (which is why we that monster even got his own day. literally catholics, the knights of columbus, wanted a celebration of how interconnected the united states and CATHOLICS are) the Christopher columbus with MASSIVE statues around the globe in portugal, spain, america, italy... that guy is now jewish, just like hitler, because .... he has some jewish DNA. and we are just disregarding his recorded actions, relationship to the church, his very catholic life, lifestyle, origins, and catholic life.

and all this during the jewish christmas/ramidan (because goyim don't know what the fuck our high holy days are even if that name alone should tell you exactly how important they are) ??

which idiots are these things for? who is watching the ta interview and saying to themselves, "boy i would love to read the book by the guy who loves murder and kidnapping and rape! what a leftist humanitarian!" or, "WOW! I hate christopher columbus I'm so glad i don't have to feel guilty as a christian that he was under orders by my church because he was obviously a jew going rouge. because i'm a leftist but also a devout catholic? which is a thing that is a totally consistent world view?"

Who asked for this? I don't think this kind of shit is even for antisemitic leftists anymore. this is for some kind of POC leftist white supremesist with white guilt but also an arab supremasist .... i guess that might describe one or two very mentally ill people but... like ... who? is this stuff to get rage clicks from jews? there aren't that many jews you guys. I have no fucking understanding of these people's world's view other than they hate jews. none of this makes sense in any other way than to attack and increase attacks on jews around the globe. it's so mentally confusing because none of these people are saying anything that benefits them in anyway, nothing that is smart or true, nothing that makes sense if it is not generated directly from the thought, "this will increase jew hate, so i should do it!"

these people are risking their careers, being hella racist about arabs generally and Palistinians specifically, making both jews and arabs less safe, saying inflammatory things they obviously spent very little time thinking about, for the chance to normalize antisemitism. what planet are these media orgs even living on? they don't sound like nazis, they sound like fucking delusional Qanon derps who are improving "the day of the storm" ironically like the segments they show on the daily show, with TREVOR NOAH.

it's like really... sad. like, these guys and scientist have wasted so many people's time and their own talents which people tell me they have i guess, but it's sad that this kind of libel from the media doesn't even make sense to people who don't live on twitter.

[slxtarchive]

𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬. ᥫ᭡ 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬. you and chris have been best friends since you were younger but one night changes everything…

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭. would you be down to write about chris and the reader are best friends who hookup and he confessed that he wants them to be more? — anon

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 soft smut, loss of virginity, mentions of blood. 18+ mdni !

𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬. this is part one of the request! the reason it took a while is because i wanted to get both parts out at the same time! hope you enjoy :)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭. 2.2k+

PART 1. PART 2.

“you stayin’ the night tonight?” chris asked with a glimmer of hope in his voice. the nights where you stayed were his favorite because you’d both stay up for hours just talking and messing around. reminiscing and watching movies. your favorite thing to do together was binge-watch movies and shows.

“i gotta see because i have class in the morning.” you huffed. “he did say something about possibly canceling but he hadn’t said anything yet.”

“well, maybe you can still stay and if he doesn’t end up canceling then you can go and we can go out for lunch afterward. most of your stuff is here anyway.” he gestured to his closet. he was right. you practically had half of your wardrobe in his closet so there wasn’t a need to go back home and get anything. you even had your own toothbrush and shit.

“i mean, yeah sure. who knows maybe i can skip.” you said mischievously earning a laugh from him.

“yeah… like you’d skip.” he went to turn off his room like before lay down on his bed and turned on his bedside lamp.

“i would.” you stated, jumping onto his bed and falling down onto your back right next to him.

“you hardly ever skipped in high school! miss all straight a’s.” he rolled his eyes. “hardly ever did anything.. how do you say. bad girlish.”

“oh and you did so much?” you propped yourself up in your elbow to look toward him.

“i mean, i would skip and shit.” he shrugged. “but i also took care of my shit like grades n’lacrosse.”

“the only reason you skipped was because you were hooking up with that one girl. i forgot her name but she was so mean!” you scoffed at the mention of her.

“we never hooked up! we just made out in her car.” he defensively said.

“oh really? what about homecoming when she practically shouted to the whole world that you two had sex.” you raised your brows. “she’d even mimic how she sounded too. blech; she disgusted me.”

he furrowed his brows. “we never did anything. she tried to but i turned her away.” he stated.

“wait so you’re still a virgin? you didn’t even hook up with that other girl you were close with?” you looked down at your nails.

“nah.. i'm serious they kind of all creeped me out.” he shook his head. the news did sort of come as a shock to you considering all the talk you had heard in high school but in reality, deep down you knew that chris wasn’t like that.

“what about you though? you talked to that one guy..what was his name? caleb or something.” his nostrils flared.

“oh fuck that guy. he tried to do shit with me but he was so fucking weird i was like no thank you.” you waved off. “i always felt that he carried at least five fucking diseases on him.” you laughed earning one from chris too.

“wow, so we're both virgins. learn something new every day huh.” he said, his voice getting quieter.

you looked at chris with a smile on your lips feeling somewhat happy that no one’s gotten that part of him yet. when thinking about if they did or not you felt a jealous sting — like usual.

“yep.” you pursed your lips.

chris licked his bottom lip shamelessly staring at yours. he blinked slowly. “i’m glad no one got that part of you.. yet.”

“yet?” you asked, confusion laced in your tone. you studied his eyes, the only thing illuminating the room was the lamp on the table by his bed. the lighting highlights certain features of his face.

“do you want it to happen with someone you trust, y/n?” his breathing picked up. you could audibly hear it as the room was silent.

“i mean… id definitely hope so.” you said quietly. you hadn’t noticed how close chris got until his hand moved some hair out of your face. he wanted to be able to see your beautiful eyes and pink lips.

“yeah?” was all he said. the heat of his body was making its way toward yours. your stomach was twisting and turning. it was doing jumping jacks and was inhabited by butterflies.

“chris?” your voice pierced the silence; barely below a whisper.

“mm?” he responded, as he studied your face and the way your eyes glanced at his lips. that was all he needed to see before he leaned forward and connected your lips in a small kiss.

he started off slowly, not wanting to scare you. he wanted you to kiss him back. you were in shock. you let him kiss you for a few seconds before you started moving your lips along with his.

he pulled away once you started to kiss him back. you leaned forward trying to reconnect your lips but he pulled back with a grin. he then leaned forward, your lips connecting just slightly before he pressed them onto yours once again.

his hand came up to the back of your neck pulling you closer to him allowing him to deepen the kiss and fortunately for you — to take control.

the further he pressed, the more you were inclined to lean back causing you both to settle into a comfortable position where you were on your back and chris was on top of you.

you were addicted to the way he tasted. the way he sensually moved his lips with yours. the way when you both ran out of breath and had to pause chris couldn’t for long and was practically gripping your waist showing he wanted more.

this went on for minutes before he made the move to trail his soft kisses down your neck. your eyes fluttered open as if to try to differentiate whether you were dreaming or not — you weren’t. chris was 100% kissing down your neck, sucking lightly on your skin to mark you. his marks were closer to your collarbone but still not to where they won’t be visible.

chris was worried when he thought about how you might feel if he marked you up for people to see. in his dream world you wouldn’t mind it because they were from him but it was something you two would need to talk about; or at least he hoped.

the sweatshirt that you were wearing was getting in the way of his lips making a trail down further so he paused to ask, “can i take this off?” he said breathlessly — sounding like a total dream.

“mhm.” you responded, just as breathless as he was. you were so needy you took the action into your own hands as you sat up. he moved back to give you space before helping you with your sweatshirt.

you both took it off before you threw it aside. he stared down at you admiring your beauty. he got a weird feeling in his stomach. he didn’t know what it meant in the moment but he’d find out.

you wanted him to kiss you already so you pulled him by his shirt to connect your lips again. he moaned at the contact, starting to feel uncomfortable in his clothes around his lower area.

“you’re so beautiful.” he thought out loud against your lips.

you blushed resting your hands in his fluffy hair. “chris.” you whimpered very needy. you were fiddling with his shirt.

“yeah baby?” he let the name slip out. you liked it.

“need you.” you felt your arousal more than ever — it made wearing underwear uncomfortable.

“yeah?” he grinned lifting up your shirt. you took the gesture as a sign so you quickly took it off leaving you in your black bra. “how bad?” his voice was so soft and sexy. you wanted to hear it all the time.

“so bad.” you took your turn lifting up his shirt. he looked down watching you struggle. “cmon, please.” you begged lifting this shirt up more.

“okay okay.” he gave in and took his shirt off throwing it to the side. he then combed your hair back with both hands before grabbing your face pulling it toward him placing kisses all over your face. “always thought you were so pretty.” he murmured. he was drunk on you. on your taste.

“show me how pretty i am.” you trailed your hands up and down his chest. you stared at each other longingly before he connected your lips once more.

you both had another make-out session before you were on your back with him on top. he put on a condom he had pulled out from the depths of his closet and you both were ready.

“tell me if it hurts okay?” he wanted to make sure you both communicated. he wanted to make this memorable for you without hurting you too much. “i don’t know how long i’ll last, baby.”

“it’s okay it’s okay.” you murmured. “i’ll tell you if i need a break okay?”

he nodded kissing you once more before lining himself up. he gently pushed into you slowly groaning at how tight but smooth at the same time your pussy was. “fuck” he groaned at the same time you did.

“shit — ” you winced, the burn was like a kick to the stomach. “slow slow.” you repeated almost out of air.

“okay, baby im sorry. fuck.” chris hated seeing you in pain.

“just let me get used to it.” you breathed in and out. it was going to be okay. you would get used to him. is what you told yourself. well, you had hoped. he was a bit big.

time past and you and chris communicated until he bottomed out.

you had tears in your eyes as the stinging slowly went away. you felt so full. you couldn’t believe that your best friend's dick was inside you. he was full on inside you.

you opened your eyes that had been clenched shut to see chris holding back moans. he was biting his lip stopping himself from trying to move.

“okay, i think im ready.” you spoke up. he looked down at you and then at your bodies together.

“you sure?” he wanted to make sure that you weren’t accommodating to him.

“yes, im sure.” you nodded before connecting your lips again.

“m’gonna go slow,” he muttered against your lips earning a nod from you. he slowly started pulling out of you then pushing back in earning a loud whine from you. the sting was still there.

chris on the other hand was in a state of euphoria. he couldn’t believe this was happening. his sleek hair fell over his forehead as he was thrusting in and out of you slowly.

after a few times, he repeated his actions, and your pain started to form into pleasure. your mouth fell agape as you felt the first wave of pleasure make its way up your body. you felt chris hit a spot in you that had you going feral.

“h-holy fuck chris.” you gasped as one of his thrusts were particularly strong. he looked down at you with a concerned look on his face.

“mm — m’sorry sorry. just feels so good.” he whimpered, the noise sending you butterflies and chills throughout your body.

“faster.” was all you said as your hand was trailing over his back. you tried not to dig your nails in as he picked up his pace with a cheeky smile on his face but each thrust caused your nails to drag up his spine — knowingly giving him red marks. “so good. so good.” you repeated.

“god, i’m gonna fucking cum.” chris moaned, combing his hair back to allow you to see his expression for a split second. the picture was burned into your brain. chris was sweaty with his eyebrows furrowed. his lips red and irritated from the amount of times he’s bit them to hold back his moans. his eyes clenched shut because of the pleasure he was receiving.

the sight alone had the rubber band in your stomach on the brim of snapping. “chris… fuck chris. im gonna cum.” you cried as his thrusts got rougher by the second as he chased after his orgasm.

“go on, baby. let go for me, yeah? please, i need it.” he puffed out, winded. what really drove you to the edge was when chris reached a hand down toward your center and ghosted over your clit. he then brought his middle finger and ring finger to where you both were connected and collected the arousal from you both combined before slathering it on your clit and stimulating you at a rapid pace. your legs started shaking as you immediately felt yourself about to give in.

your eyes clenched as your hands grasped the sheets below you before arching your back — your orgasm hit you like a wave of intense euphoria. you let out a spurt of whimpers and moans. your own orgasm had chris’s following shortly.

“shit! oh my fucking god.” his hips stuttered as he tried to ride out his orgasm as best as he could which was tough because of how tight you were clenching him.

your chest ended up pressed against each other as he was laid on you, breathless and unable to move for a split second. there was only one thought that ran through chris’s mind when he came to his senses and that was ‘i’m in love with y/n.’

he had to find a way to tell you.

© slxtarchive

[r0-boat]

I’ve been starving for ZZZ stuff on here, so can I get some first kiss headcanons for Caesar, Zhu Yuan, and Ellen please?

Hello! I would love to do your ask. However, I'm going to switch out Ellen Joe (since she's a minor)for Jane Doe

ZZZ Your First Kiss Headcannons

Gn!reader x Caeser/Jane Doe/Zhu Yuan SFW!!!

Caesar

Oh my god, shut up, shut the fuck up! This is actually happening?! She has literally dreamed about this moment, That's why she hasn't had her first kiss either. And now here you are her partner admitting to her that you never kissed anyone before. She's trying so hard to control herself right now but she's shaking so much the bench is shaking. Damn it where are wingman when you need them!?

Caesar is having an internal war about 40 of her thoughts probably even more stabbing her all at once. As she tries so hard to ring herself in and calm herself down so she can act cool. Probably too late because on the outside to you, Caesar is staring off into space.

You calling her name finally breaks her out, "Cesar are you okay? You're turning red..." Had she been staring off? And you look so worried for. She just sighs and tells the truth "yeah I'm just... A little nervous... This is kind of like a dream come true for me and I haven't kissed anyone either so-"

She was so focused on what she was trying to say. She didn't realize that your lips were pressed against hers. It all happened so fast that all she could feel was gentle pillowy lips against hers before melting.... Wow... Kissing is nice... Kissing is very nice... She's definitely going to get used to kissing.

As soon as you pull away she pulls you back in for another. She will definitely be thinking about this for a long time.

Zhu Yuan

She honestly doesn't mean to make fun of you when she smiles and giggles at that. She just finds it cute. She doesn't judge at all I mean she's definitely kissed people before but was as far as she went when it came to her dating life. And she's actually really happy for you to choose her as your first kiss. She can see why some people think it's special. She was one of those people who thought the same way after all.

"do you want me to initiate or?" She would ask with a smile. Which is nice of her to be considerate but honestly it just makes you more nervous. If you are the one who initiates she will patiently wait for you even if some of your signals are mixed. You're just as awkward as she is.

If you want her to initiate though... She'll make sure it's special. Zhu Yuan is a woman of many properties but what she really Is: is a prepared woman! She scarily knows a lot about you and will use that to your every weakness! Zhu Yuan tends to lean into people pleasing when it's people she really likes. And for this special occasion she leans into it 100%.

A lot of pressure... I know a little intimidating I know... But she just wants to make something that you care about feel special, since you really seem to want your first kiss to be special.

When she finally does kiss you Zhu Yuan kind of accidentally uses her tongue as she gets a little too into it. She's super apologetic about it. While you have no idea where she learned this. But you're kind of into it?

Jane Doe

Awww, That's cute. (Don't worry she's only half teasing) You're innocence is quite refreshing. Jane knows that her presence can be a little intimidating so she always tries to ease people's anxiety and you are no different, especially being her partner.

If it helps, she'll close her eyes if you ask her to initiate. She will ponder for a minute. The offer is tempting... As she currently thinks about the all devious ways she can really tease you, She ultimately declines; she wants you to do it. She wants you to kiss her for your first time What partner wouldn't want that?

Yes she is enjoying this, her tail is swaying much more like a cat enjoying its favorite toy than a rat. Once you finally do. You hear a squeal from her. Like putting her head in her hands and kicking her feet high school girl squeal. She couldn't hold it in anymore...

Jesus how are you so fucking cute!? She's going to have cuteness aggression if you keep doing this to her heart. She wants more kisses She demands more!

She's never ever once thought about the importance of a first kiss till now. She thinks about your first kiss with her a lot.

[diagonal-queen]

HELLO!! i keep requesting them sotty im obsessed but what about hunting dogs with a s/o who has a child😅😅i got silly again

Hunting Dogs with your child

♡ pairing: Fukuchi Ouchi, Jouno Saigiku, Tecchou Suehiro, Teruko Okura (platonic), Tachihara Michizou x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How do these goofballs fare as stepdads? (or, in Teruko's case, fun auntie?)

♡ cw: Swearing, unofficial stepfathering, unrealistically good stepfathering, reader's ex situation is not established but it's assumed that their baby momma/daddy is not in the picture (Tachihara), mentions of violence

note: I just haven't written anything in ages, and for that I apologise. Wow, being in university is time consuming! I've had block for months and it's been an absolute pain in the arse but I'm back babey! Keep your requests coming anon- I am the Hunting Dogs whisperer and I will write them till I die. Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Fukuchi:

My dude is so so so enthusiastic. You mean to tell him that he gets a beautiful loving partner AND a new little guy to hang out with?? Sign him tf up

This man buys your kid so many presents it's genuinely concerning. Your child is spoilt to hell and back by Fukuchi. You need to discourage him from this behaviour STAT

He constantly uses dad words like 'buddy' and 'pal' and 'kiddo' to refer to your kid and they eventually start responding to these nicknames lol

He would totally also do dad stances and just embrace the fatherly aura that is slowly overtaking him day by day (bro starts falling asleep on the couch while the game's on at 9pm)

He's actually surprisingly gentle with your child. If they cry he'll pick them up and comfort them very well. He's like a whole different person when your kid is scared or sad- it's the cutest thing ever

If your child ever gets him a Fathers' Day present he'll probably cry like old man tears of joy. In fact if your child ever does anything nice for him he'll be incredibly touched. Kinda reminds him what he's doing his job for :')

Tells your child great exaggerated (CHILD FRIENDLY) stories about his heroic achievements as a soldier before bed. It's genuinely super cute you guys

If the kid ever runs up to him in excitement when he arrives home in the evening he returns the energy and is like 'omg there they are! that's my kiddo! how have you been??' and picks them up and AUGH they're so cute

Just....🥺🥺

Jouno:

Your child is probably scared of him at first. Within their first meeting he probably makes them cry.

Sorry y'all 😭 but he doesn't exactly come off as much of a teddy bear...and nor does he really act like one with anyone else other than you in private

Jouno just isn't good with kids. Not in the sense that he's scared of them but that he doesn't really know how to interact with them without being intimidating or otherwise just detached

But he really loves you, and he wants to be a good parental figure to your kid, so he tries to warm them up to him by getting them a gift. That probably helps- he might not know much about kids but he's right to assume that they fucking love receiving gifts

Whatever your child's hobbies/interests are, Jouno genuinely does try to connect with them over it, and after a while it does work.

Soon enough your child and Jouno are inseparable and your child is spewing sadistic military rhetoric and oh dear god you've made a terrible mistake introducing the two of them

Yeah, Jouno probably teaches your kid all KINDS of horrible things. He will tell your child stories about times he's tortured suspects, or slaughtered gangs, and just stuff that is not family friendly. You have to nip that behaviour in the bud or else...

He's generally pretty good at taking care of your child, but like, if your kid cried because they were scared there was a monster under the bed, Jouno would probably be like "Yeah. There is. Good luck." and then turn off the lights and leave 💀

Just give him time. He'll learn how to be an emotionally available parent at SOME point

Tecchou:

He's not the step dad. He's the dad that stepped up

Tecchou is definitely very aloof and awkward around your child- like, he knows how to interact with you, but children are different. Children are frightening. And they are his biggest fear maybe

In spite of this, he is fiercely protective of your kid. He will make sure that child is as safe and calm as possible at all times, and he certainly prefers to show that he cares through actions rather than words.

He usually wouldn't initiate physical contact with your child but if they hugged him he would hug back, if they gave him a hi-five he would do it back, etc etc. he will never let your kid down

If your child likes make belief, you can bet you'd walk into a room and find your kid all dressed up, off their rocker in full theatre mode, while Tecchou is sitting on the floor, also dressed up, but looking more depressed than ever before

Save him from your baby. They are taking YEARS off his life

He probably accidentally sends your kid to hospital at some point because he cooked for them. Damnit Tecchou, how don't you realise that a child's stomach wouldn't be able to handle a combination of chocolate and beef

It's okay though, he does learn from this. Plus, he takes care of your child and buys them presents and hangs out with them until they're better <3

He might not join your child in the ball pit, but he would watch them swim around in there with the softest, faintest, most affectionate smile on his face. And that is all that matters folks

Teruko (platonic):

The funnest, meanest, coolest auntie ever

Teruko will lead your child down a dreadful path. Limit their visits to holidays and birthdays for your own sake and the sake of your young one

She's really more than happy to negatively influence look after your child if you need her to though, and they love her because she's super chill and lets them get away with all kinds of things (that aren't violent crimes against humanity)

Your parent says one cookie after dinner? Screw it, have six. I won't tell if you won't. - Teruko, probably

She uses her ability to entertain your kid sometimes- usually she'll decrease her age so she can join them in things like building pillow forts and playing on jungle gyms

I'm just picturing them playing at the park and some concerned parent coming up to them asking where their guardian is and Teruko just fucking transforms into a grown woman on the spot and goes 'WHO'S ASKING' 😭

Teruko is a super cool fun aunt. But she is very wise, and she really will give your kid good life advice on occasion.

She'll also cheer them up when they're feeling down, and if they're feeling scared she helps them step out of their comfort zones and confront their fears (in a safe way!!)

If your kid is like, getting picked on at school or something, Teruko will nag you to phone their school about it. If you don't, she does. If they don't do anything about it, she does. Bottom line is NOBODY fucks with your kid when Teruko is around

I guess technically she really is scary dog privilege lmao

Tachihara:

Help he's so nervous at first? Tachihara this is a child, not a wise sage- you can be normal around them

He just wants to make a good impression on the child okay he's doing his best

But (obviously) your kid immediately loves him, and thinks he's the coolest guy ever, and wants to hang out with him all the time

Tachihara has a bit of a concern that the kid will think that he's trying to replace their other parent, which is fair, but it's unfounded because your child absolutely adores him and does not care about that at all

If your child ever calls him 'Dad' watch his soul fucking transcend to a new plane, he's so surprised and honoured that this beautiful person's child would consider him their parent

Your kid has Tachihara wrapped around their tiny finger. He will oblige them with anything- if you've got a toddler who likes uppies and piggybacks, say your prayers for Tachihara's upper arm and back muscles because he will carry them for hours

You really need him to stop leaving weaponry around the house, though- the absolute HEART ATTACK you had when you saw your precious baby carrying around an unloaded pistol

Also, Tachihara, babe, STOP SWEARING SO MUCH AROUND THE BABY. I CAN'T HAVE MY KID SAYING 'FUCK' TO STRANGERS - you, probably

Doesn't really ever talk about his job(s) with your kid, all they know is that he 'kills bad guys', and they think that's cool as fuck

He's not perfect, sure. But he is trying so hard to be The Perfect Parent™ and, more importantly, he loves your child to bits

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen

of course, thank you to anon for this req!

[b3ach-bunn7]

THINGS TO DO

You have chores you need to get done. Touya and your daughter won’t leave you alone. 

noquirk!au, domestic, fluff

inspired by @moodyvoid :P

——————————————————————

“How are you doing that?”

You look up at Touya from where you’re cross-legged on the floor. He’s only wearing black boxers and his robe, your daughter’s pudgy legs around his neck as she fiddles with his hair. Mizuki’s not reached the age that she can talk yet, but Touya assures you the gurgles she makes is actually conversation. You’ve walked in on him enough times, bent over her crib conversing with her, that you have no choice but to believe it. She grabs a handful of his hair and tugs. He winces, hand reaching up to untangle it from her grasp.

“Doing what?”

You’re currently sitting in front of the dryer while Touya leans on the washing machine. You’ve put off the laundry far too long, and the pile of clothes in front of you is a testament to that. The washing machine shakes beneath Touya and you curse the second load you’ll have to deal with later. 

“The folding thing. Takes me ten minutes to do that shit and it never comes out looking like that.” 

“Practise. And patience you don’t have.” 

Touya scoffs. “I so have patience.” 

You laugh at that. “You so don’t! Don’t you remember when you tried to make cookies last week? You ended up eating them raw because you couldn't wait for them to chill in the fridge.”

Touya rolls his eyes and kicks the shirt in your hand away with his foot. You tut, smacking it out your way.

“That’s different. I was hungry.”

“Fatty.”

“Hey! Not in front of Zuki.” He leans his head forward so he can reach up to grab her. He plops down on the floor in front of you and places her in his lap.

“Okay. Time to learn how to do laundry.”

You snort a laugh. “She can’t even talk, babe. How’s she gonna fold laundry?”

“No time like the present.” 

She giggles as Touya places the pile of socks you’d been leaving until last in her lap. Her hands grab random pairs and Touya nods.

“That’s my girl. Look, this one and this one. Roll it like this.” He demonstrates with one hand, the other holding onto her waist so she doesn’t fall.

“Wow. She’s really getting it.” You drawl. Touya throws a sock at your head.

“None of that talk. Only encouragement. Just think about it, if we train her from now she’ll grow up to be a machine.” 

You sigh heavily, moving another stack of folded shirts away to make some more room. “You really want our daughter to be a machine when she’s older?”

Touya ponders it for a moment. You watch as Zuki sticks her fist in her mouth. “Maybe not. I’m not seeing much potential.” 

You lean forward, moving her fist away from her face. 

“Open, baby.” You say, quickly checking around her gums. “You think she’ll start teething soon? She’s that age, no?” 

Touya hums. “I don’t know. She has been biting stuff more often though.” He drops his hand into her lap and she grabs his finger, sticking it into her mouth.

Your finger is covered in spit and you wince. “Ew.” You wipe your finger on Touya's leg. “Baby drool.” 

“Ugh, don’t rub it on me.” 

“Your finger’s literally inside her mouth.” 

“That’s different.” 

Touya watches you fold the next pile of clothes, and then the next. It finishes quicker with him there, telling you about work, you telling him about Mitzuki. He gives you his hand so you can get up and you groan, placing them into the laundry baskets so you can put it all away. You feel yourself ageing despite the fact you’re both young, and you huff, annoyedz

“I hate being an adult. Let’s hire a maid.” You grumble. You stretch, wincing at the crack your back makes.

“No.”

“Yeah, well I’m the one that has to do all the chores all not you, so I should decide.”

Touya gapes. “Fuck off with that. I offered to help you, you said no!”

You turn your back on him and walk out the laundry rooms basket on your hip. “Shut up.”

It’s true, in all honesty. You feel too bad to make Touya do any chores. You still have a couple weeks left of maternity leave, and while you’d been at home caring for the baby,  he’d been picking up extra shifts. You see the exhaustion that grips at his bones, the bags under his eyes. He insists on helping around the house whenever he’s home, but you refuse to let him do it. You’d rather he spent time with his daughter, relaxed a little. Touya, however, takes the ‘no help’ rule to mean ‘follow me around the house like a lost puppy’ instead. He does so now, Mizuki back around his shoulders. He hums a song you don’t recognise under his breath, fingers tapping against her legs. They follow you to each of your bedrooms, watching as you fill drawers with socks and shirts and incredibly small onesies. You kick one of Mizuki’s toys out your way. 

“You think she’ll start talking properly soon?” You ask suddenly, looking at Mizuki as she babbles.

Touya shrugs. “Beats me. When are kids even meant to start talking?”

“I don’t know.” You bite your lip anxiously, discarding the now empty laundry basket to the corner of the room. You walk over to Touya and grab Mizuki, holding her at arms length.

“You don’t think shes behind, do you? Like- Should she be talking? Or walking? She can’t even stand up without our help, and-”

“Baby.” 

Touya grabs Mizuki.

“Chill. It’ll be fine. Shoto didn’t start talking until he was like, four.” He says, scruffing up your hair with one hand. You huff, reaching up and holding his hand in ur own. You rest your face on it, eyes shutting as his finger soothes against your cheek.

“You’re sure?”

“Positive. Don’t worry, baby. You’re the best mum around.”

You roll your eyes. You tap Mitzuki on the nose.

“I don’t think she agrees. She’s so obsessed with you.” You grumble.

Touya grins lifting her up so he can kiss her on the forehead. “Daddy’s girl.” 

You sigh dramatically. “I used to be Daddy’s girl.” 

“Ew, that’s fucking weird.” Touya frowns as you giggle, reaching up to kiss him quickly. 

The three of you move to the kitchen, and you stand in the middle, hands on your hips. Touya places Mitzuki in the middle of the counter and mimics your stance. “Okay. I’m gonna make dinner. What are we feeling?”

His arms drop. “Uh. Food?”

“Ha ha. So funny.”

Touya sticks his tongue out at you. “Zuki thinks I’m funny. Right, sweetheart?” He tickles under her chin and she giggle. He looks back up at you, eyes shining. “See.” 

God, he’s so cute when he’s with her. Touya had been quite monotone when you met him. Never emotionless, but he never really seemed to care about much. You started dating and he opened up much more to you, and by the time you two were married, he was an open book. You knew everything there was to know about him. But this, the way he seems to light up whenever he’s with Mitzuki. It wasn’t like anything you’d seen before, a part of him you knew existed. You’re sure that Touya was always meant to be a dad, had to be with his good he was with her. 

And you knew he was scared. He’d whispered to you in the nights you were trying, warned you what his father was like. That he was scared that he would be like that. And you whispered back that you knew he never would, that Touya would be the best father to whoever the two of you ended up with. That night had ended very well.

You smile softly. “At least somebody does.”

You shuffle over to the fridge, eyes scanning over the leftovers and ingredients begging to be used. You huff. “God, I’m going to have to cook, aren’t I?”

“You don’t have to. We can get takeaway.” Touya grins.

“No. We have to be responsible adults.” You speak over Touya’s incessant booing.

“Come on. I want pizza.” 

“I want to use up all the food in our fridge.” 

“You’re so boring.”

“One of us has to be. Now go, get out so I can cook.” 

Touyas eyebrows furrow. “Uhm, why? I’ll be lonely.”

You start pulling out pans from the cupboards and vegetables from the fridge. “We’ve literally been together all day.”

“I’m your husband. You have to let me annoy you.”

“Go sit and watch TV, or something. Football. Isn’t that what men do?” 

He groans again, reaching over to grab at your waist, dropping down to his knees. “Why. Why won’t my wife let me love her.” 

You run a hand through his hair. “I do let you love me. You’re roots are coming in, by the way.” You tug his hair a little bit and he makes a sound deep in his chest.

“Mhm, just like that, baby.”

“Touya. You’re such a freak.”

“For you, yeah.” He looks to the side, squinting at his reflection in the mirror.

“Are they really coming in? Will you dye them for me?” 

You nod. “I always do, don’t I?”

“Love you.”

“Love you more. Now get up and out. You’ve abandoned our daughter on the kitchen counter.”

Touya mumbles something under his breath, sighing heavily as he gets up to his feet. “Come on, Zuki. We’re not wanted here.”

You click the kettle on. “You need to rest, you’ve been working so much. No point standing in here with- Touya!”

“What?”

“Don’t hold our child like that!”

Touya’s head tilits. He has the nerve to act casual as if he hasn’t got your daughter under one arm like she’s a fucking football. 

“What?”

“Hold her properly!”

“Why? She loves it.” He turns to the side and she peeks her head round to grin at you, hands grabbing at the air.

You smile despite yourself, shooing them both away. “Get out before you give me a heart attack.” 

You decide on making soba, something quick and easy you know you both like. You utilise the veg in your fridge you’re sure is going bad soon, dumping the expired leftovers in the trash. You come out the kitchen half an hour later. Touya’s feet are propped up on the coffee table, some old Disney movie playing on the TV. Mitzuki is laying across his chest, his hand rubbing up and down her back slowly.

“Is she asleep?” You ask, sitting down on the couch next to him.

He hums quietly. “Nearly. Is it okay if she naps right now?”

You nod. You shuffle down on the couch, until your legs hang off the edge and your head rests on Touya’s shoulder. You wrap you arm around his.

“Yeah. She’ll be more of a hassle if we wake her up, anyway.” Touya huffs a laugh. 

“Why are you watching Tangled?” You mumble.

“It’s a good movie.” 

“Weirdo.”

“Shut up.” 

“I made soba, by the way. We can eat whenever.” 

“Fuck yeah.” Touya kisses the top of your head. “Thanks, baby.”

“I’m so happy your favourite meal is like, the easiest thing to make.” 

“I’m easy to please.”

You reach a hand forward and touch the hairs on Mitzuki’s head. They were the same colour as yours. You think that might be the only thing she took from you, because when she blinks at you lazily, you could recognise those bright blue eyes anywhere, the tilt of her nose. 

“She’s so beautiful.” You murmur.

“Takes after her mother.”

You sigh. “No. You’re a liar. She looks exactly like you.”

You don’t need to see him to know Touya’s got a shit-eating grin on his face. “You think?”

“Shut up. It’s not fair. I lugged her around for nine months, she should take after me a little.”

Touya runs a hand up and down your back. “Don’t worry, baby. The next one will look like you.”

You sit up, eyeing Touya. “Next one?”

Touya kisses the tip of your nose. “I want three minimum. How do you feel about that?”

“I feel like I agree. But let’s chill out, it’s not even been a year yet.” 

“Fine. I guess.”

“You guess. Shut it and turn the TV up.”

“You hear that Mitzuki? Hear how your mother speaks to me?”

“She’s asleep and also she’s a baby.”

Touya shakes his head. “You don’t get us.” 

——————————————————————

domestic Touya I yearn for you like a wife who’s husbands been at war and my only memory is your photo in my purse 😔

me personally the Todoroki family lore is the saddest like it actually makes me wanna cry and sob.. so I will only ever write them happy idgaf

a knee ways I hope u enjoyed :P this is shorter than what I normally write but I just had to write it.. also not me being so consistent

[baxndaid]

bill cipher , stanford pines x reader

ohh my god PLEASEE request stuff for gravity falls i love it so much ty for making a comeback!! i don’t normally do nsfw stuff but for them… nsfw under cut 💔 another one here

sfw

- gonna be honest, ford is a little control freak especially after he meets bill

- he likes things going according to his plans and calculations and if they don’t, then there’s clearly something wrong

- bill WOULD constantly inflate his ego so when ford had hired you to be his little lab assistant, it was a little suffocating

- despite this, he was super happy to learn that you were into the same things he was; anomalies

- ford was uptight and serious with you most of the time whereas bill was nonchalant and just a massive tease

- the demon didn’t really mind you, you were pretty open for anything and he, like ford, liked how you were a massive pushover

- on the other hand, bill disliked fiddleford because he asked too many questions, he was too wary (though he had the right to be)

- ANYWAYS, would ford and bill peer pressure you into letting yourself be possessed? yea..

- it’s not like ford was really in the right mindset to be making these huge decisions like the guy was crazy obsessed with bill

- he didn’t see the harm in it, bill was his muse after all and it was very valuable for his research! just do it!

- so you would, you still have a few scars on your thighs from bill’s obsession with pointy sharp things

- sometimes bill would prank you while being in ford’s body - not like you could tell the difference

- being all flirty while mimicking his voice and then yelling “JUST KIDDING!” before laughing obscenely in your face

- wow he loved humiliating you, it was almost as good as humiliating ford

- ALMOST

- they kept their plans pretty secret from you, only commanding asking you to get materials for the portal

- it’s kinda like that one meme that i see floating around;

you: what’s going on with the portal

bill/ford: don’t worry about it kitten

you: okay ❤️

you: yay ❤️

- they weren’t worried about you leaking anything, bill just liked keeping information from you to poke fun

- you were just in-flight entertainment, a plaything to bill, ford kept you as a means to keep himself grounded

nsfw

- you never really got intimate with ford, not like you didn’t want to but he was always so busy and it would technically be taboo considering he was your boss

- but he had to let off steam somehow, and his muse was here to help! consider the town SAVED ❤️

- with bill possessing him, “ford” would stuff his fingers down your throat and watch you gag

- i can’t even lie man if you vomited or something he’d probably get off to that more he’s a freak like that

- ford would gawk in horror as he watched himself bend you over onto his messy desk like a rag doll and rip the clothes off of your body

- bill doesn’t necessarily gain any sexual gratification from this, but he certainly “gets off” to it in some other twisted way

- he likes the control he has, your whining and ford’s gasps only egg him on further

- he likes to hold you down by your throat and make small cuts on your inner thighs while he sloppily eats you out, probably with anything that was lying around nearest to you, a pocket knife or even a unicorn horn

- SCRATCHES ohh my god this guy scratches so much somebody cut his nails

- fucking imbeds his damn fingers into your waist as he thrusts into you, all the while laughing like a madman

- the noise of squelching and muffled screams spilled from ford’s office, be glad your in the middle of the forest

- he 100% licks your tears away btw

- ford likes to act shocked or squeamish whenever bill does this to you but bill knows he loves it, and deep down inside he knows it too

- maybe not the “harming you” bit, but he loves everything else

- he’ll probably scold bill for being so rough with you but bill would probably lie and say “It was necessary! This is a whole NEW experience to me! You can’t deny me of that can you Sixer?”

- and then ford folds like a loser

- he’ll try and make it up to you by tending to your wounds and giving you a way lighter work load

- ford hopes that one day he’ll have enough confidence to be able to make love to you without his twisted muse butting in

- he kinda loves it bye

[andhumanslovedstories]

I’m genuinely surprised how much I love nursing. Every shift, I get to meet and help so many people. I’m float pool so I go to the whole hospital, but I’ve also been floating for a while so everywhere is familiar. Sometimes it’s hard for me to walk through the hospital because I know so many people I pass, and we keep stopping to chat. I float to seventeen different units. That’s crazy! I know so much about the hospital! Every night I’m somewhere else, working with a different team and a different group of patients. The constant novelty and familiarity of floating is delicious.

And I love my patients! I know this all sounds so goody two shoes, but I love that I get to help so many people in so many ways. I only get them for one night, so I try to give them my best. I love tucking people in with warm blankets, I love explaining what I’m assessing to a patient with a new diagnosis, I love having heart to hearts with patients at three am when they can’t sleep, I love making people hurt less and stop throwing up. And you can be a real scamp about it. I love stealing snacks from other floors. I love when a patient is like “god I’d love some chocolate” and I get to be like “sir I know the location of every candy drawer in the hospital, I can get you some chocolate.” Or like figuring out like a cheat code for alleviating symptoms. When someone’s like “wow this heating pack rules” and then falls asleep instantly? It feels good and it’s fun. I have a lot of fun figuring out how to cheer up my patients in minor little stupid ways.

I never have to wonder if my job contributes value to the world. When I go home at the end of my shift, I can always think of something I did that makes me feel proud. That rules! It’s so fun to be proud of yourself! It’s so fun to know that what you do matters and that you are doing it well. And if I don’t feel proud, I have a drive home to think about why and I get a chance to do better next shift. And that’s good too. There are nights where I can feel the way I let someone down, and I have to sit with that, and I have to learn from it.

(And I don’t want to sound like I’m crushing it always super-nurse style, like I’m completely immune to ableism and the other -isms, or that I’m never lazy or callous or checked out. I’m new and I’m learning and I’m human and I’m tired and I’m not always living up to the person I hope to be. But I do get a lot of opportunities to make up for it and try again. That feels good.)

And I love teaching new nurses! I love having to constantly keep studying so I can be in a position to teach anyone anything. I love watching people get better at stuff. And I love that as I’ve gotten more confident as a nurse and a person who trains new nurses that I’ve started coaching more and more on the soft skills of nurses. Those are really hard! We should get as much practice with therapeutic communication as we do with Foley catheters!

Also where I work pays good, and I’ve got great job security, dude, I can buy so many stupid little trinkets. I was so nervous when I decided to go to nursing school that I was fucking up my life and other people’s plans for a job I wouldn’t even end up liking. I’d literally never worked something remotely close to healthcare when I decided to go to nursing school. I’d been in a hospital like once. I feel like this big life change shouldn’t have worked out nearly as well as it has, but hey it’s really fuckin cool it did

[goose-duck]

Creepypasta incorrect quotes ⭐

~~~~~~

Nina: spirit Halloween opened up early and my poor money decisions are always open so I bought a bunch of stuff

~~~~~~

Jeff: so...are we the best or the worst?

Toby: yes, sir.

~~~~~~

Jeff: he doesn't have eyeballs bro- he probably doesn't have balls either...

~~~~~~

Nina: he's ugly, I love him

~~~~~~

Y/N: There's just something abt his lack of a mouth and being less fluffy that makes me want him

Toby: he can't scream

Y/N: perfect

~~~~~~

Jeff: best friends!!

Y/N: nooOOOOO!!!!

~~~~~~

EJ: I learn from the mistakes of people who take my advice

~~~~~~

Y/N: heading into work~

*explosion*

Y/N: or maybe not-

~~~~~~

Nina: so romantic~

Jeff: *screaming*

Nina: romance <3

~~~~~~

Y/N: Jack, why am I in this room?

EJ: am I responsible for you moving from room to room now?

Y/N: yes.

EJ: then stay in that room.

~~~~~~

Toby: it's an elevator

Masky: this is a ladder, Toby.

Toby: imagination ✨

Hoodie: just because you put a sign that says "elevator" doesn't mean it's actually an elevator.

Toby: imagination ✨

~~~~~~

Y/N: but not me, because no one can get mad at me

Jane: I feel like in an hour we're all gonna be mad at you for something

~~~~~~

Toby: I made a house, what did you make?

Sally: a balloon

Toby: wonderful

~~~~~~

Jeff: just don't be blind

EJ: wow, you've cured me

~~~~~~

Toby: someone please take me off this fucking planet

~~~~~~

Y/N: Don't look at ceilings when ur tired. Never know what you'll see.

Toby: context, please

Y/N: Thought I had a fucking ceiling fan but it was just the balloons that I refuse to take down from my 13th birthday. I can't tell if I'm tired or stupid but I think either way it's correct.

Toby: it's probably both

Y/N: Exactly- It scared the shit outta me too-I saw it and was so fucking scared that I might have a ceiling fan in my room-

Toby: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A FAN! ITS ON THE CEILING!!

Y/N: Y/N, Weakness: ceiling fans that may or may not be there

Toby: strength: walking in high heels, weakness: imaginary ceiling fans

~~~~~~

Hoodie: it's just a deer or something

Masky: bro, that is not a deer

~~~~~~

Jeff: *sees a spider* I should have just bombed the house the last time I saw one of you fuckers

~~~~~~

EJ: I'm doing good...im doing great...i have a headache.....

~~~~~~

Jeff: this is like when I threatened to steal your skin and bones and stuff

~~~~~~

Jeff: it's like if a heat stroke were a room

Y/N: me

Jeff: no, you're like if a heat stroke were a person

Y/N: oh

~~~~~~

Y/N: tree tops

Jeff: crispy

Nina: crispy tree tops?

Jane: why are they crispy?

EJ: why is everyone talking about trees??

~~~~~~

Jane: I'm moving the pumpkins, sorry, Toby

Toby: nooo, my life's work...

~~~~~~

Toby: would you be more offended if I got a mug of milk or orange juice?

Masky: milk.

~~~~~~

Jeff: they're all safety scissors, I don't think I can possibly be unsafe with them

*pile of about 10 safety scissors*

~~~~~~

LJ: I took some of his teeth and coloured them like candy corns

~~~~~~

Jeff: I'll steal ur hair, I'll take ur eyebrows and I'll steal ur skin too

Toby: please, that's all I have

Jeff: U have bones, mucles, veins, blood, cartilage and organs that I could take too

Toby: no thanks

~~~~~~

Hoodie: Masky is this big *puts his fingers together*

~~~~~~

Jeff: what are you doing dude?

Y/N: hugging? I think??

Jeff: it's weird...

Y/N: yeah, let's never do that again

~~~~~~

Y/N: die.

Toby: :0

Y/N: in a nice way..?

~~~~~~

Nina: I'm sure there's someone in Fabio who's named Russia

Jane: what?

Nina: yup.

~~~~~~

Jeff: I hit myself in the face with an eye!

EJ: give it to me!

~~~~~~

Ben: what the rational number?

~~~~~~

Toby: I think I failed at life...

~~~~~~

*Jeff and Toby leave the room*

Masky: well, that was a headache

Hoodie: which one?

EJ: both.

~~~~~~

*Jeff walks by*

Jane: look at him, he's greasy

~~~~~~

Y/N: why are you only offended when Jeff says something?

EJ: because it's Jeff

~~~~~~

Toby: well how's this right?

Jeff: because I'm here!

~~~~~~

Jane: I'm going to Halifax

Jeff: Hali-fuck you

~~~~~~

Sally: I saw a girl and she was young

Y/N: you're young

Sally: I'm 8

Y/N: exactly, young.

Sally: so you're a grandma?

~~~~~~

Toby: fellas, if you need me, I'll be living inside this cabinet

~~~~~~

Y/N: I'm afraid of togetherness

[marycom15]

Accidental vampire hunter Evbo x Vampire Seawatt & EMF AU

Once again here posting stuff from our discord lmao.. Thank you Crow for doing Yaoi of the day, it inspires me 🙏🙏🙏This one's a bit long

Evbo who doesn't really know what a vampire is - sure, he knows they're another kind of mythical being that's a threat to many, but he grew up in a rather close knit and small community, a place where a vampire would be immediately discovered. Threats such as these are typical for dark alleys of big cities, not his little corner of the world. So when a vampire does show up and try to terrorise his home, he does what he needs to and kills it - he's not quite sure how, but swinging some sharp wood around seemed to work. He's not actually aware it was a vampire, just seemed like a bit of a stronger thug who didn't know any of the local rules, but he's left with a cold body now (wow, it sure got cold fast. Maybe thats just how it always is, Evbo wouldn't know)

It's a bit awkward since he's not sure what to do about it, until a pair of fancy people he's never seen around appear and inform him that the man he's killed was actually a wanted vampire. There's a cash prize apparently, and as much as Evbo loves his home, he would never pass up an opportunity for a social rank up. The two lovely gentlemen offer to escort him to the nearest city, since they know the way and he's never really left the area before. His new companions insist that they need to get there as fast as possible so they shouldn't be waiting for sunrise. Evbo makes his goodbyes quick and offers to come back at some point, way richer, and they set out.

Now no one will look for him.

They do walk towards the city for a while, the vampire's head dangling from his backpack (taken as proof), and he learns his new companion's names - Seawatt and Emf. It's not untill they're rather deep within the forst and far from any civilization that they both smile at him and bare their teeth… So he of course bares his own back. He's a little confused, but they seem to be confused even more so he takes that as a win and continues walking.

The only thing he knows about vampires is the name. Nothing. Else. He doesn't see any of the obvious signs. Seawatt and Emf intended to just lol on him and kill him in the middle of the forest (couples activities !) but now they're just. Kind of baffled and entertained. So they decide to keep him around, but they still do need to feed…

So Seawatt gets the crazy idea to just ask him straight up. Worst case scenario they kill him. He just further confuses them by immediately being like "yeah sure you can drink my blood, i dont really have a knife or anything though!". He's just happy to be there really, and even when they mumble out that they can just bite him literally no red lights go off in his head. And so they do. They stop and they feed on his blood and drain just a bit to see his reaction and he's like wow that's new. Ok how far is the city.

Seawatt and Emf are obsessed.

Im not writing the rest of this out so detailed but. So begins the saga of accidental vampire hunter Evbo and his two vampire boyfriends. They get to the city and Evbo never questions why they refuse to go with him during the day ("i mean their skin is pretty pale, might be a health thing"), so he turns in the vampire's head and everyone freaks the fuck out because that's like some powerful fucking vampire and this random dude just came in casually with his head. So they immediately assume he's a seasoned hunter and they give him all the difficult targets and he's like wow ! i can make so much money ! Of course, they dont need to explain any vampire lore to a hunter like him - so he just keeps not knowing Anything.

Meanwhile Seawatt and Emf are just happy Evbo finished the job they started. They've been hunting that fuckass bitch for weeks and managed to weaken him substantially but explaining a murder of one of their kin is always hard so they're real glad a random human showed up and dealt the finishing blow. They are also very entertained (and possibly in love) by his anticts so they stick around. Evbo never questions them.

This is just the basis of this AU, other discord peeps expanded upon it but this is the basic idea - enjoy :)