#I know they were like varying degrees of sincerity but

[joshuaalbert]

the only thing about picard s3 i miss is the one single week between the first episode and the second when jack had been officially introduced but his parentage was still unconfirmed. the insane theories people were coming up with during that time were the best part of the show.

[goodlucktai]

29 with Mikey and Leo please!

29. “Tell me where it hurts, and be specific.”

x

It really was his own fault. If Mikey didn’t want to be babied, he shouldn’t have broken his wrist. 

He was mostly just annoyed it happened in such a boring way, catching himself wrong falling off his skateboard.

Yes he’d decided to sneak off and find a sewer tunnel to attempt the full pipe loop a full two weeks before Draxum said the gross mystic mandrake tea would finish running its course, but he felt fine! His hands barely shook anymore, only when he overworked himself or let himself get too tired or too excited.

But from the look on everyone’s faces when he slunk home ungraciously dragging his board behind him, you’d think he was at death’s door. 

What was worse, Donnie wheeled him by the shoulders into the infirmary and deposited him right in front of Leonardo, the only person Mikey couldn’t out-stubborn, whose affable smile faded at once into that serious look that made all of his siblings straighten their spines and pay attention.  

If the skateboarding accident had happened pre-almost-apocalypse, Dr. Leo would have probably led with a joke instead of, “Tell me where it hurts, and be specific.”

Mikey resigned himself to a ridiculous amount of mother-henning for the duration his arm was stuck in its short cast. His brothers took his newly fragile hands so personally, like they were the ones who couldn’t hold an inking pen or color inside the lines or even cook a meal more complicated than lasagna without having to give up in the middle and have someone else take over. Like they were the ones who woke up shaking in the middle of the night from some distant, half-forgotten dream of disappearing into fragments of light, arms radiating pain like it was their job, a confused jumble of grief and fear and farewell on his tongue until he went and climbed into bed with papa or Raphie and let them hug it all away. 

Leo said Mikey’s wrist wouldn’t need the full six-to-twelve weeks that a baseline human’s would due to their genetic modifications—“Thank you, Barry,” they had chorused in varying degrees of sincerity (Mikey, Raph and Casey) and sarcasm (Leo, Donnie and Splinter)—but that he still needed to give it time to heal.

“You’re the toughest guy I know,” Leo had said, poking Mikey on the beak to stall the inevitable whine, “but you gotta give yourself a break, Miguelito.” 

He said it like his skin wasn’t still bruised like a peach and his shell all wired together from going one-on-one with an actual living nightmare even as he found the energy to take care of someone else. 

He sat there in the doctor’s seat, pressing carefully around the wet fiberglass to mold it to Mikey’s wrist, all his attention bent to the task. He always tended to his brothers’ hurts the same way, as if it was the most important and remarkable thing he’d ever do. 

Leo’s own casts had only been removed last month, and he was usually very good about following his own medical advice, if only because he knew his siblings would cite his behavior in a heartbeat if it meant they could loophole around doctor’s orders. So Mikey really had no choice but to sulk and accept the distant cousin of scolding he received. 

“It’s not a race,” Leo said, smiling at him. “No one’s gonna run off without you. Where would we go that’s half as good as where you’re at?” 

It was his knee-jerk reaction to smile at Mikey, like his day got better automatically when Mikey was in it, and it soothed that jangling, frustrated thing inside of Mikey’s chest that only got loud when no one took him seriously. Leo always took him seriously, was always the first of their siblings to believe he could do anything he said he could do, and that meant taking Mikey’s injuries seriously, too. 

He’d seen the way Leo had to run himself ragged making sure Donnie kept up with the treatments to his shell and Raph followed instructions on taking care of his eye to the letter. They were trying to spare Leo additional stress, but if they knew they were only compounding the stress he was already in and making it ten times worse, Mikey was pretty sure they’d shut up and take their medicine. 

Mikey wanted to be on Leo’s team, not playing against him. So he put his sulk away and put on his best listening face instead, rewarded when some nearly-invisible line of tension in Leo’s shoulders relaxed until it was gone.

Besides, it wasn’t all bad. He got to pick what color cast he wanted, and got everyone to sign it. And it wasn’t the most horrible thing in the world not to have to do any chores. 

And when Leo announced to the lair as a whole that he was going to visit his tío Hueso and bring back pizzas for dinner—in a tone that made it very clear he was not asking for permission or inviting any worrywart older siblings along—he followed it up with, “You coming, Angie?” 

Maybe because he had been under the scrutiny of worrywart older siblings, too, and understood better than anybody how close Mikey was to biting the next person who tried to baby him. Or maybe because Mikey was the exception to Leo’s rules and he always had been—always invited and always welcome and always wanted. 

In another place, in another time, Leo asked Mikey to die for him, and Mikey died for him. 

In this kinder one, Mikey jumped to his feet with a grin and said, “I’m with you!” and it didn’t cost him anything.

It should have been silly to say something out loud that they both knew was true, but sometimes it was nice to hear it.

[hopeful-puffin]

Been doing some rereading sporadically through the series again. And I noticed something interesting while perusing Season 3 in particular. Now this probably isn't anything groundbreaking or earth shattering. From what I can gather, I wouldn't be surprised it was entirely intentional as well.

Siren and Fizz are polar opposites.

I know, I know. Swallow your gasps of surprise and stow away those eye rolls. I realized it initially in the obvious differences between how they both view and treat Kappa. Where Siren is gentle, respectful, and worried about, Fizz is possessive, disrespectful, and invasive. Where Siren views Kappa as Kappa, an individual with his own wants, needs, and goals that is not defined by his undesirable title, Fizz only sees said title and what it means for his own benefit.

I could go on and on and on about this until I pass out from exhaustion, but it got me thinking. That can't be their only major difference, right?

Right?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized these two characters are on the opposite end of various spectrums. Case in point; being told "no," particularly from Kappa. When Siren is presented with even a hint of hesitation or discomfort, he immediately backs off with sincere apologies.

He doesn't raise his voice. He even pulls his hands away until Kappa assures him it's okay. Siren maintains this show of respect by asking if he can hold Kappa rather than assuming the confirmation included stronger physical contact.

Fizz, on the other hand, repeatedly gets into Kappa’s bubble, only backing off when someone either makes him (Siren and Fean) or when Kappa flusters him. Despite being repeatedly told "no" to varying degrees, Fizz keeps doing it.

Originally, I chalked this up to being socially unaware or just plain ignorant to social cues that aren't being screamed in his face. That he's just that dense. But then it kept happening.

Don't think Kappa could be clearer short of stating he and Siren are dating. Oh wait. Didn't he already?

Fizz kind of goes quiet at this and avoids it ever coming up again. Going so far as to look and sound disingenuously surprised and perhaps even disappointed when Kappa brings Siren with him to meet with the Flyfin in episode 146.

Which, as we all know, eventually culminates into Kappa telling Fizz off in a much more polite way than I would have been able to handle in this situation. Kudos to Kappa for that.

Oh look. It's the consequences of my own actions. Weird how those keep cropping up at inopportune moments.

And it all came to a head in 165-167. In a display of violence I'm sure I'm not the only one who was surprised by.

Brutality aside, this next panel in particular I feel makes it clear how Fizz truly views Kappa.

Where I had my doubts and concerns were quickly thrown out and confirmed respectively at this very moment. Fizz doesn't see Kappa as an individual. He sees the Beacon as a means to an end; something he can take his anger out on behind closed doors. Where Siren has respect and care, Fizz has possession and hostility.

But this isn't even the first blatant time:

Kappa's value lies only in his title to Fizz. Nothing else should matter, in Fizz's mind, to the coveted Beacon. Honestly, I'm surprised Fizz even calls Kappa by his preferred name. He strikes me as the sort who would deadname a person repeatedly because that's not how he views that individual.

This brings up several more note-worthy differences between Siren and Fizz. Siren handles being told "no" with dignity and consideration for both himself and Kappa. Fizz, on the other hand, resorts to violence and self-righteousness. Hell, even being told "no" by Siren on defense of Kappa not being there to fulfill his dream sets the bastard off into a malicious tirade, all but telling Siren to off himself outright.

At first I thought there was no way Fizz was that damm dense. But, after 166-168, I've come to the conclusion that he really isn't. He's delusional, likely seeing himself as the hero in this story. That Kappa is merely a tool granted to him by God and Siren is just another antagonist getting in his way.

The fact that Fizz resorts to violence like that makes me worried and morbidly curious if he's that way with the other Flyfin, in particular his siblings. Is that why they stay back and let Fizz do whatever he wants? Like disassociating zombies before he unleashes on Kappa? Because he'll lash out on them if they say or do something? Finley, I believe. He is submissive on reflex, even with Siren. He even helps Kappa explain away his illiteracy. It's Fean where I'm unsure. She acts like she has some semblance of control over Fizz (smacking him in my previous example). Still, there is some love between the siblings. Otherwise they wouldn't have gotten so distraught when Siren nearly killed their brother.

But enough about that side-tangent.

Going back a little bit to comment I made earlier, Fizz likely sees himself as a hero trying to save both the Flynfin and the whales (I'm choosing to ignore that last panel in 169 until we get further details). A hero who is met with irritating barriers in the form of the Sluggi baring him from the archive/not wanting to wake the whales and Siren shielding Kappa from Fizz's delusions of grandeur both physically and verbally. Hence Kappa’s accusation that Fizz was trying to get him to push Siren away when he confronts the trio alone.

By contrast, Siren feels immeasurable guilt for not saving his people when he already knows the "cure" to their curse. He doesn't look at his reflection and see a hero worthy of praise and affection. Siren sees someone who is selfish simply for wanting to live despite his people and boyfriend encouraging him to stay alive. Someone who is surrounded by love and support he does not deserve.

I don't think Siren sees himself as a villan, but he certainly could stand to be less harsh himself. Easier said than done, I know. And I love that realism about him.

Both Siren and Fizz want to save their respective people. I don't doubt that. It's one of the only things they have in common. It's a difference of what they are willing to sacrifice in order to reach that lofty goal. Personally? I don't see Fizz as being willing to lay down his life for his own people either, which is rather ironic given his moral high ground shpeal with Siren I touched on earlier.

Last but not least is there willingness to actually be violent. Fizz clearly has zero qualms with it when nobody is around. Siren, on the other hand, seems almost averse to it, outright feeling awkward about using his knife (and even his teeth) initially.

He seems to get over the aversion to use his teeth, but his feelings about his knife linger on.

He is willing to cripple himself (in a way) in order to not make Kappa uncomfortable anymore. Despite it more or less being a heirloom of his father. Siren doesn't even reach for it when he knows Kappa is in danger. You could call this a slip of the mind due to his panic or being in a rush. I like to think knowing Kappa is afraid of it played into this decision as well. And Siren proves once and for all he's not above using his teeth anymore either!

Despite his protective rage, Siren is still shocked to realize how violent he's become.

I didn't sign up for this psychological warfare, but damn if I'm not staying here for it!

Fizz, but contrast, while he has no weapons so to speak, is not above using his fists. Consciously battering someone weaker than him. All too happy to resort to torture even.

This guy is sadistic enough to see that look on Kappa's face and be excited about the mental and physical pain he's about to inflict on his perceived prey. Thank the surface Kappa was able to draw his own blood, which is not a sentence I thought I would ever say.

Compare that to Siren as soon as he realized what Kappa was afraid of:

There is no joy in Siren's eyes as he takes in Kappa’s look of fear. He wants to make things right, going so far as to stow his weapon out of sight before trying to approach Kappa again. When Kappa eventually flees, Siren respects the decision and does not follow despite everything in him screaming to give chase.

Long winded story short, I love the intentional differences between these two.

One last unrelated comparison before I hit the road (because I absolutely love finding these sprinkled throughout this amazing story):

That despite being "imprisoned" by the other, they're both happy. That first panel, by the way, is still one of the most heartbreaking ones to me in the entire comic. Just the implications behind it all, fortified by the later treatment at the hands of Fizz, is just chef's kiss.

Also damn this 30 image limit! I had to remove a few panels, but I hope my point(s) still comes across.

[honestlyvan]

This feels exactly equivalent to my experience during the height of GamerGate. I got away from my social circles that aggressively went for GG for perceived slights and tried to find new circles to hang out in, only for those spaces to target me for being the wrong kind of queer and wrong kind of mentally ill. Being “anti-GamerGate” was not a coherent position, partially because GamerGate did not have coherent positions to be anti against, but a big part of it was people who were spiteful and angry realising that there was now a socially acceptable group for them to target all of that spite at. And in a mindset like that, when you’re not winning, everyone is miserable.

Being against one obviously reactionary position doesn’t mean someone isn’t also a different kind of reactionary.

Man, not to keep beating a dead horse but that whole "proship also means anti-harassment!!" thing really does feel like a slap to the face for proshippers who have been horribly harassed by other people in this community, especially for talking about things like bigotry.

Like I get the idea but the simple fact of the matter is that there's a lot of proshippers who are terrible people, who are transmeds and terfs and white supremacists and just generally assholes in a lot of ways and who DO harass people, and denying that isn't making our communities safer, it's just burying our heads in the sand.

[prototypesteve]

Just venting.

I was trying to write a Facebook post (yeah, I know) to come out to the handful of people who I haven’t come out to, yet.

They’re all Gen X, and varying degrees of evangelical or otherwise conservative-leaning. That means they all grew up in an extremely allonormative, amatonormative, heteronormative world where all the movies were “boy meets girl” all the queer people were hiding, and God created the universe as a place for married people to bang in. They grew up in a world where there didn’t seem to be any asexuals and—to their biased recollection—hardly any queer people, either. The kinds of friends who need to know that they’ve actually known “one of those people” for decades, because maybe it can help them start to see past all those normativities.

They’re all friends I’ve known for years, but they knew me when I thought I was “just like them”, but not very good at it. They saw me go through what I’d now call my “fake-it-till-you-feel-it” relationships, but what at the time really were my sincere attempts to “grow up and settle down with someone”. Point is, they have every reason to presume that I’m not asexual, and that maybe no one is.

On top of all that, they’re nearly all mildly-conservative parents, now. They’re constantly told their children are being actively targeted for indoctrination by a coordinated Gender Agenda, designed to turn them all into one of “the alphabet people” as part of a bigger plan to turn everyone away from God and red meat.

And it’s for those friends that I’m trying to write a Facebook post explaining that, after decades of confusion, I realized that I’ve been asexual my entire life. I was asexual before there were widely-shared labels for it, and I was asexual all those years we were friends, and through all the stuff they saw me go through.

And I know they have the capacity to see that it’s true, and I know our shared faith actually talks about asexuality despite all the cultural shit we layered on top of our scriptures, and I know that I know myself. I should know how to write that post. But I can’t. It’s like I can see and hear and feel every “but what about” and “but have you” and “but then why” that will come at me with every phrase I write, and it’s just fucking exhausting because I want to stop hiding this but I’m just so goddamned tired of having to explain and prove and defend and justify and negotiate permission to be me.

[dramatic pause]

Fuck.

This is the Facebook post, isn’t it?

Update: I told them.

[the-way-astray]

Hi! This is the meta anon here (as I'll take to calling myself). I have read your response to the meta and I agree that Keefe doesn't actually do things like apologizing or self-reflection without external consequences to motivate him. This was a regrettable oversight on my part since I confess that I don't spend many hours of my KOTLC fandom exploits specifically loving or hating Keefe.

HOWEVER, I do believe that your hatred could set him on the path to self-reflection. My justification is that he doesn't particularly enjoy being hated. He will try to make you fall in love with him. You'll keep on hating him. Somewhere along the way he may have a good long think about himself because of the consequences.

Justification for the justification: Keefe despises being hated. He (obviously) isn't comfortable being hated by his parents even though he works to make him hate them because they're despicable people to varying but undeniable degrees. There's still a 'popular boy' who's actually a friendless (except for Fitz) kid who feels like he needs to keep up the humor and his trademark smirking (and so forth) to make people like him. The idea that someone hates him so vehemently may even make him take it as a side-project-challenge to make you like him. Cue the self-reflection.

Allow me to explain with a fic (sadly no strieefe for the strieefe enjoyers but. gen). Inspired by Alayda and the Never Change anon. Sincere apologies for probably mischaracterizing you (and Katie).

*

hate your lover, love your hater, and be studied by her friend: pt.1

When on a pleasant Friday evening in September Stria received a message from an unknown number, she blocked the number, posted some fascinating thoughts about Aldella on her Tumblr blog, and then proceeded to go to sleep.

The next morning, she had another message on her phone. In her half-asleep daze she opened the message and read the following:

Hey!! This is Keefe 'Lord Hunky-hair' [last name redacted for annoying-daddy-dearest reasons]. I saw that you blocked my human number yesterday, which was a little mean of you, so I had a Technopath friend of mine unblock it on your phone. It was brought to my attention that you put a lot of effort into hating my guts. Could we maybe fix that up and become friends?

Stria almost deleted the message. But then she saw that the number it was from had been the same number as last night.

Keefe Sencen. The real Keefe Sencen? she thought. Can't be. But she was, after all, the person who had written a seventy-five-page anti Keefe rant essay. She could easily convince an anonymous prankster into hating Keefe right along with her. Even if they had friends who were terrifyingly good at manipulating technology.

Let's play at this game, she decided, and typed: Sure. If you're actually Keefe Sencen, meet me at 12:30pm today, my time zone, at the main entrance of this mall. She dropped a link to a mall reasonably far from her house (which had, by all accounts, a reasonably efficient security team), and then called her good friend Katie to bring some backup with her. She didn't want to take chances with a fun joke turning into a terrible kidnap plot.

'You know it could be the real Keefe, right?' Katie pointed out to her. 'It's not completely impossible.'

Stria told her that it was most certainly not possible enough, and proceeded to pack her bags with necessary weapons (things to throw and a nice stout stick) before setting off.

She arrived at the mall at 12:20pm. Katie arrived at 12:30pm. 'Keefe' arrived, fashionably late, at 12:45pm. Not by car, but by what appeared to be light-leaping.

And it also appeared that the person was Keefe, mussed hair and smirk and all. Or at least this was someone in an incredibly convincing Keefe Sencen cosplay.

'Ohhh,' gasped Katie. 'It IS him! Are you Keefe Sencen? Oh, I can't believe it's you, and I love you so much! I want to examine you under a little microscope! Have I ever told you that I wanted to study you?'

He blinked. 'You're not the hater?'

Katie pointed to Stria, who was sitting on the steps of the mall in full view of the public, staring into the middle distance and trying to wrap her head around the fact that based on what she had just seen, both the Lost Cities and Keefe Sencen were real.

She was going to track Shannon Messenger down and have some strong words with her.

But questioning human existence could come later. For now, she simply stood up and looked Keefe straight in his hex-code-ice-blue eyes.

'It's me,' Stria said. 'I'm the hater.'

Then she pulled out a photocopied and spiral-bound version of her seventy-five-page rant on why she hated Keefe, and slapped it into Keefe's chest. It made an incredibly satisfying thunk. 'If you want to know why I hate you, then read this, and never talk to me again. Or if you do, you'd better have read this entire document.' And with that, she turned on her heel and stormed off.

Katie spent an extra five minutes getting Keefe's number, so as to have better access to him and his fascinating 'himselfness', and then followed Stria home.

*

Pt.2 on request; you are welcome to take stabs at my identity but kindly don't take stabs at me because I am small, frail, and weak <3

context here

wahoo!!!! i converted someone. everybody clap and cheer.

i think if i continued to hate keefe, it would not set him on a path of self-reflection, because he wouldn't care enough about my opinion to try to change his ways. heck, he cares about sophie, and he's not even trying to really change for her. he just says whatever he needs to say to appease her, then carries on. so what's going to motivate him to change himself for me, someone who doesn't even like him in the slightest? i would say he's generally indifferent to being hated, unless the person hating him is sophie. think about tam. he doesn't make any effort to try to make tam like him, though he generally knows tam doesn't really like him that much. so there's that.

i don't think keefe does any of that to make people like him . . . it's more of a cover for what's going on at home. everyone falls into the sense of "keefe is this cool, popular kid", and that's all they see of him, so why would they bother trying to think about what his home life must be like? i genuinely don't think keefe cares about being liked. he cares about attention, which is not the same thing. but i doubt he cares whether people like him or not. i think keefe would maybe, at the most, try to try to talk to me to figure out what my problem is with him. it might intrigue him that far. but once he realizes how far my hatred of him goes, i doubt he'd want to interact with me much anymore. and the feeling would certainly be mutual.

alright notes on your fic:

"hate your lover, love your hater, and be studied by her friend" first part is me i guess, second part is keefe i think, and third part is katie????

"[ . . . ] posted some fascinating thoughts about Aldella on her Tumblr blog, and then proceeded to go to sleep." ooooh, you think my thoughts about aldella are fascinating? thank you so much, anon. very much appreciated.

"Hey!! This is Keefe 'Lord Hunky-hair' [last name redacted for annoying-daddy-dearest reasons]. I saw that you blocked my human number yesterday, which was a little mean of you, so I had a Technopath friend of mine unblock it on your phone. It was brought to my attention that you put a lot of effort into hating my guts. Could we maybe fix that up and become friends?" and then stria died. the end. just kidding.

wondering how the fuck keefe knows i hate him. all these fics just have him like. somehow mysterious know that i hate him. did the power of my hatred magically implant that information into his head?

"She could easily convince an anonymous prankster into hating Keefe right along with her." terrifying accurate representation of my thought process. good job, anon.

"[ . . . ] then called her good friend Katie to bring some backup with her. She didn't want to take chances with a fun joke turning into a terrible kidnap plot." i love how i'm convinced that one extra teenage girl will stop a kidnapping plot if it happens. this is hysterical.

"'You know it could be the real Keefe, right?' Katie pointed out to her. 'It's not completely impossible.' Stria told her that it was most certainly not possible enough, and proceeded to pack her bags with necessary weapons (things to throw and a nice stout stick) before setting off." ah, katie. unfortunately, it is completely impossib- *gets shot* also me packing weapons . . . goodbye.

"Or at least this was someone in an incredibly convincing Keefe Sencen cosplay." not the keefe cosplay . . .

"'Ohhh,' gasped Katie. 'It IS him! Are you Keefe Sencen? Oh, I can't believe it's you, and I love you so much! I want to examine you under a little microscope! Have I ever told you that I wanted to study you?'" what do you mean. this is literally such an accurate katie. anon, you've crawled inside her head (/j katie don't kill me).

"He blinked. 'You're not the hater?'" I'M DEAD IN A DITCH.

"Katie pointed to Stria, who was sitting on the steps of the mall in full view of the public, staring into the middle distance and trying to wrap her head around the fact that based on what she had just seen, both the Lost Cities and Keefe Sencen were real." and then she shrugged and started tearing him (verbally) to shreds. keefe then fainted. stria had to then bury him in a ditch while katie verbally dissecting him. placing a good amount of dirt on him in case he woke up, she made katie swear not to come back and dig him up. katie, predictably, did not listen.

"She was going to track Shannon Messenger down and have some strong words with her." fun fact: i've never met shannon.

"For now, she simply stood up and looked Keefe straight in his hex-code-ice-blue eyes." NOT THE HEX CODE ICE BLUE EYES.

"Then she pulled out a photocopied and spiral-bound version of her seventy-five-page rant on why she hated Keefe, and slapped it into Keefe's chest. It made an incredibly satisfying thunk. 'If you want to know why I hate you, then read this, and never talk to me again. Or if you do, you'd better have read this entire document.' And with that, she turned on her heel and stormed off." *sniffs* anon has me down so well . . . this is what i say to people who wanna pick a fight with me over my keefe opinions. also what did i tell you all about the trope of me having a fucking. physical copy of my rant. which i apparently carry around and can afford to just toss at keefe.

"Katie spent an extra five minutes getting Keefe's number, so as to have better access to him and his fascinating 'himselfness', and then followed Stria home." you have katie locked down. to a science, maybe even.

i'm roughly 92% sure you're @worldsunlikemyown but if you're not this is going to be so embarrassing. part two would be interesting . . .

@myfairkatiecat come look at this anon's interpretation of you

[nectaric]

zeus & his family

its been a long time since i’ve talked about this, and i don’t even know if i’ve talked about it on this blog - but the time has come to address zeus’ opinions on his family, and how i have always envisioned their relationships.

on his siblings:

hestia is one of the most important people in zeus’ life, and he looks up to her immensely. he is protective of her to an extreme degree, and relies on her a lot for guidance (particularly when it comes to his own emotions). there have been times where this relationship has bordered on a little unhealthy but i think zeus has come to have a much more equal and loving relationship with her.

hades is complicated. in their youth, zeus admired and loved him a lot. as they grew older, and became separated due to duty, zeus’ struggle with his own trauma became apparent. he developed a loathing for hades born not out of spite but out of jealousy. part of him was envious of hades, of how removed he was, how he did not have to deal with the struggles of olympus or the pain that came with it. zeus was damaged and he saw hades so in control of it all (whether or not that was actually true) and it soured their relationship a lot, at no fault of hades. in modern times, i imagine the two have managed to overcome some of their troubles, but its a work in progress and zeus wants to make amends, even if he has a hard time.

poseidon, also complicated, but for different reasons. obviously, there was tension between them on account of zeus’ early days where he struggled to be a fair king, abused some of his power, and was generally a menace. then there’s the coup, where whatever trust they still had in each other was completed shattered. their relationship remained incredibly rocky for a long time, cordial at best and argumentative at worst. but following the coup, and his torture at the hands of typhoeus, zeus makes a very big effort to change. and i think somewhere down the line, they begin to mend. zeus loves his brother, even if poseidon pisses him off immensely.

demeter is one of his best friends, very much so in the only i’m allowed to make them miserable kind of way. their parting after the birth of persephone was initiated by demeter despite zeus’ own wishes, and they became good friends. zeus did what he could to provide for persephone while keeping his distance, and so they are pretty close. i like to imagine that they have a very classic sibling relationship, full of roasts w/ love and bonding over their mutual dissatisfaction at their childhood.

on his wife:

zeus loves her. despite everything they have been through, that he’s done to her and had done to him, he worships the ground she walks on. his affairs were not born out of spite or falling out of love with her, but oftentimes out of necessity or his rather impressive wealth of emotion. i like to imagine that they have reached some level of understanding and that she loves him too.

on his mother:

not much to say here other than zeus is a huge momma’s boy.

on his children:

zeus is not a perfect father. he is extremely flawed. he struggled for a long time with trauma, and paranoia, and fear. it made him emotionally distant, sometimes cruel. but zeus really does love his children - and as with the rest of his family, he has fought very hard since he chose to reform to make things right with them. he has attempted to admit to his mistakes and make them right. he has attempted to reconcile damaged relationships. it varies, of course, from child to child. he has a stronger relationship with children like athena, hermes, artemis, dionysus, eileithyia, or hebe. he has a more difficult relationship with apollo, ares, hephaestus, eris, or enyo.

he does not expect forgiveness, but he is going to keep trying to earn it with each of them, even if he struggles and fails sometimes.

regarding pjo kids: zeus loves them. zeus mourned them, sincerely, was inconsolable for ages when he lost both of them. he does what he can to protect them while remaining distant, because he has learned the hard way that involvement of any kind makes things so much worse for them. but i sort of refuse to subscribe to the idea that zeus has, at any point, been disinterested in their well-being nor that he ever intentionally tries to harm them.

tl;dr: zeus loves his family. that has always been the case, that will always be the case. he is flawed and he struggles and he has not always shown his love. he has hurt the people he cares about. but he is trying, desperately so, and is on his journey to make amends.

[lilnasxvevo]

A lot of people have made posts of varying degrees of sincerity about how actually Su Xiyan and Tianlang Jun were t4t and she got that man pregnant, but I haven’t actually seen people try to take that any further and make any AUs out of it.

Consider two ideas:

-Heavenly Demon(ess) Su Xiyan meets and falls in love with the silly but very talented human cultivator Tianlang Jun, who could not have been more clearly a spy sent to seduce her but also could not have more clearly genuinely fallen in love with her very quickly

OR

-Things start out the way they do in canon with Heavenly Demon TLJ and human cultivator SXY meeting and falling in love, except instead of Su Xiyan not being able to tell TLJ about HER pregnancy before they’re permanently separated, it’s Tianlang Jun who is pregnant and doesn’t get a chance to tell Su Xiyan before she seemingly betrays him. There are a LOT of ways this could play out but here’s just one suggestion: Tianlang Jun uses the last of his strength to zap his newborn baby somewhere where someone might take care of him—certainly sending him far away from his mother because she’s clearly not the person he thought she was. When Su Xiyan finds out what happened, she realizes she can’t stay with Huan Hua after what they did to her love, and just up and runs away, possibly killing Old Palace Master before she leaves. She changes her name and goes on the run as a rogue cultivator, and whenever she can she tries to find information on where they took Tianlang Jun and how she might be able to get him out. (She grimly thinks about ten times a day that it probably would be easier to gather this information if she hadn’t left HHP.) Seventeen years after Tianlang Jun is ripped away from her, she attends the latest Immortal Alliance Conference in disguise and sees a young man who looks so much like her that it can’t be a coincidence—and he unmistakably has his father’s eyes. Does Cang Qiong know one of their best and brightest is half Heavenly Demon? And more importantly, when this young man teeters on the edge of the Endless Abyss, can the woman who just found out she was his mother (just found out that she was a mother at all) like two hours ago save him from an unimaginable fate?

[nochuelinha]

Too Sweet - Chapter 6: Fermentation

The next morning at the apartment was a bit awkward. Questions flooded my mind. Did I really ask her to kiss me? And now what? My head is pounding so much, but the way she took me in her arms, it was so Ellie-like, I'm screwed. I slept in the guest room, the bed softer than mine. I'll ask her where she got it. I got up and headed to the bathroom. There were small tubes of toothpaste and disposable toothbrushes. Ellie was very prepared for visitors.

The smell of fresh coffee was practically making me float to her kitchen, where she was comfortable in sweatpants and a tank top from a rock band, her hair slightly damp and slicked back. She looked beautiful.

"Good morning, Els," I greeted myself, sitting on one of the stools and admiring her. Ellie turned around with a smile and came to me

. "Good morning, Sweetie, may I?" She asked, holding my face gently. I nodded, and she kissed me. Much softer and sweeter than yesterday's make-out session, but it was good nonetheless. "I'm making coffee, I know you prefer something sweeter, lucky for me the coffee maker can do various types of things," she laughed, returning to her activities.

Breakfast with Ellie was so natural and familiar, between conversations and smiles, that it seemed like we did it every day. I spent a few more hours with her and then went home. Sara wanted to go out for a walk this afternoon, it's been a while since the last time we went out together. We decided to go to an immersive Monet exhibition, with 360-degree projections and a wonderful soundtrack. I took several photos and sent some to Ellie.

"You two are quite close, aren't you?" Sara suggested with a gentle tone. I looked at her, and she pointed to my phone. "I was a bit apprehensive when I thought you two might not get along, I'm glad it turned out to be the total opposite," we were sitting in a diner now.

"I find it hard not to like Ellie," I smiled at the waitress who came to bring our orders.

" Well, that's true, but it can become a problem when you fall in love with her," Sara said, now serious. I looked at her, trying to understand what she meant. "Ellie is amazing when she's in love, but she has a collection of ex-girlfriends. I know it's hard to resist her, but I hope that if by chance you two end up together, it'll be more enduring. You two mean a lot to me," she took my hand and looked into my eyes with great affection.

"Even if things aren't long-lasting with Ellie, I'll never stop being your friend," I told her with all the sincerity in the world.

She smiled mischievously, "So, are you two having something?"

I blushed. "We kissed last night and spent the morning together. I'm not going to label it; I don't even know if it will continue," I replied honestly.

To my happiness, things really flowed. The meetings that initially were exclusively for wedding preparations turned into precious moments for us, filled with kisses and hugs. Visits to vendors became more than that, full of laughter and varied conversations. Being with Ellie is incredible.

Today we're going to a wine tasting, Ellie invited me a few weeks ago. I got dressed as best as I could, chose a black dress, heels, and did a more elaborate makeup. Ellie, as always, looked impeccable, gave me a peck on the cheek, and we headed to the tasting.

"They usually start serving from the lighter ones to the fuller-bodied ones," Ellie said while holding a glass of white wine, her other hand resting gently on the small of my back.

It was a fascinating journey through the different flavors and aromas that the world of wines has to offer. We started with Sauvignon Blanc and Riesling, and that explosion of freshness and fruitiness was like an irresistible invitation to what was to come.

As we moved on to the reds, each glass revealed a new dimension of sensory pleasure. The Cabernet Sauvignon with its dark fruits and oak notes, the Malbec with its unique combination of fruits and earth, the Syrah with its complex interplay of flavors that awakened my palate, and the Tempranillo, a delightful dance of red and dark fruits, spiced with oak and earthy tones.

Ellie's presence by my side certainly made the experience even more special. Her knowledge and enthusiasm for wine added layers of appreciation with each sip.

After the tasting, Ellie smiled and said, "I think we found some really incredible wines today, don't you think? It was a wonderful experience to share it with you. I loved seeing how you engaged with the different flavors and aromas."

"It was all so amazing, Ellie. Thank you for inviting me," I smiled at her, and she gave me a peck on the cheek. We went for a walk afterwards; the night was quite cool, and there were many stars. The tasting took place at a winery, and the landscape was beautiful with several vineyards.

"I think we're quite similar to the wine production process, you know," Ellie's tone was gentle. "We've spent several weeks together, gradually harvesting our feelings."

"We might be in the fermentation stage, I guess," she chuckled.

Ellie really has a poetic way of seeing things, doesn't she? Her comparison between the wine production process and our journey together is so insightful and touching. It's true, over the weeks we've spent together, we've experienced moments that are like ripe grapes, ready to be harvested and transformed into precious memories and feelings.

And when she mentioned that we're in the fermentation stage, it was as if she recognized the process of growth and transformation we're experiencing. Just like wine, we're developing, allowing our experiences to blend and evolve into something even richer and more complex. It's a beautiful metaphor for our journey together.

As we walked through the vineyards under the gentle glow of the stars, I felt a sense of serenity and connection with Ellie, as if we were truly aligned in our feelings and thoughts. It's a moment to appreciate not only the beauty around us but also the depth and richness of our own journey. And I couldn't be more grateful to share this with Ellie by my side.

As we walked through the vineyards, enveloped in the magical atmosphere of the night, the tension between us was palpable. Every glance, every touch, seemed to carry a pulsating electricity, heightening the anticipation of what was to come.

Suddenly, Ellie stopped and turned to me, her eyes burning with desire meeting mine with an intensity that made my heart race. She didn't say a word, but her gaze spoke volumes, conveying all the longing and passion burning within her.

Without hesitation, I surrendered to the moment, allowing myself to be pulled closer to her. Our bodies drew near, every inch of space between us vanishing in an instant. I could feel Ellie's breath against my skin, warm and uneven, echoing my own excitement.

Then, in a bold and impulsive move, Ellie captured my lips in a fiery and passionate kiss. It was as if a flame had been ignited within me, consuming me with overwhelming intensity. Every touch, every caress, was a promise of uncontrollable desire and complete surrender.

The world around us disappeared, leaving only the two of us immersed in the fiery passion that consumed us. Under the starry canopy of the vineyards, we surrendered to the heat of the moment, lost in the whirlwind of emotions and sensations that could only be found in each other's arms.

"Sweetie, you always have the best taste," Ellie whispered, her words filled with affection and admiration.

[archivalofsins]

Here we go again. Since this is the second time I've had to hear about this in a short time span. I'm making my feelings known again.

The fact that there are people in this world that sincerely believe having trauma is,

A. A phenomenon limited to only people they personally like, agree with, or are in close proximity to and not something that everyone has to live with to varying degrees.

B. Is capable of justifying any past or present action/inaction taken against another individual that impacts their life negatively.

In this age, egregious behavior that one would never forgive if done to them is being justified under this ambiguous blanket term of trauma. When one is a safe distance away from the problem, they stop treating it as something that could impact them at all. They have the privilege to holler from safety while touting their morals to feel superior and maybe a bit better about themselves.

Personally, displays to me why society is simply getting worse and why the younger generation globally is set on track to have the highest amount of conservative leaning individuals out of the last two. I can't even say I don't get how certain things have happened or I'm surprised about how certain things are going. Especially since most of younger people's peers are very comfortable going if that person doesn't understand points a to z they just haven't had it hard enough. They're not traumatized enough. All while secretly wishing and hoping to make the world more unsafe for the people they disagree with by any means necessary so they may eventually get the point.

There's people with this mindset in every generation, of course. This isn't some new phenomenon. There's a lot of people who believe that indifference to the suffering of others and the I got mine mentality is the best one to have.

Because the wolves they overlook would never bite them. Some people don't even believe these wolves are in the same environment as them. Easily brushing it off with a no one is really like that, no one that I know would think that, and experiences like that don't happen in real life.

To the point that it doesn't even matter what the trauma is.

The only thing that matters is that it exists, and no one can prove it doesn't. Because once again, it's something everyone has regardless of if they admit it or not. The trauma and why it exists is not the point. The point is how that trauma can shield one from accountability.

How trauma can excuse the ways some project and take out their past experiences on completely uninvolved parties. Sometimes, to their blatant admission random strangers on the street just trying to walk home. As was said in some Milgram cases. It's a way for people at large to go it was done to me, which means it's okay if I do it to others.

It's no different from pop psychology throwing around a term people know very little about to defend callous and discriminatory actions.

All the Milgram characters have trauma. Every person on earth has trauma.

That doesn't justify inflicting said trauma on others. Parading like it does... Honestly, makes a lot of people sound like those parents who swear up and down their kids have it so much better than they did and they're leagues kinder to their kids than their parents were to them. That's how some people here sound when they speak about trauma within this space. The lack of self-awareness when it comes to this point and how it's presented has honestly become gross to me. Even when, on some level, I recognize this as a byproduct of the subconscious and unchallenged belief that there exists a perfect victim even in spaces where there is room for nuance.

If a person just makes the character sad enough, sorry enough, traumatized enough ambiguity can be thrown to the wayside and one can feel good as they press a button to pardon someone they know without a shadow of a doubt has had such a hard time, loss so much, tried so hard, just was doomed from start cause they couldn't met societies expectation of normal, and don't forget are oh so sorry too.

So, why even think about it at all? Just let anyone do whatever they want forever. It will never be in close enough proximity to anyone here to ever really matter or impact those important to them, I hope. Yet for some people that proximity is just their life, and it's incredibly diminishing to see people go,

These are words I've heard my entire life, and they sound just as stupid here. No one has a license to treat others like shit based on their past. They don't. Yes, a person's trauma is valid, and they have the right to look into said trauma and heal at their own pace. However, when someone weaponizes that trauma against others in their environment and projects that trauma out onto their younger peers.

That person is traumatized and just as hurt as you despite their actions towards you in this moment. Forgive them not just for their sake but yours. Holding a grudge (someone rightfully accountable for the ways they hirt you) is like swallowing poison and hoping the other person drops dead. Learn to forgive. We're all just works and progress. We all make mistakes sometimes. That's just a fact of life you have to get used to.

People can mistreat you and disregard your personhood because they're having a difficult time. They're going through a lot right now. It's important that you be the bigger person and extend grace.

I'm sorry but at that point,

"Victim and Perpetrator, let’s keep it simple."

I don't forgive any of the characters here because I've convinced myself they're not perpetrators. I do it based on my morals, influenced by my background, and with full recognition that forgiveness doesn't change people. That a chance is no more than what the individual does with it. Then I wait and see what they do with that leniency and sympathy. Because anything else would be unrealistic and setting myself up to be disappointed..

I know they're perpetrators. I've never combated that, and I'm not here to debate they aren't. Even when I've gone, "Huh? I don't think they've committed that crime." I've immediately gone. I actually believe they've committed a far worse crime. I am not here to constantly fight the premise of this series. I'm not. I'm here for the series, which, from my perspective it seems a lot of other people are not.

If others want to fight the premise of this series in favor of an interpretation, they enjoy more. That's fine. Just don't tell other people how they should view it or be surprised when others have agency outside of one's own opinion. The Mikoto tag is full of threekoto stuff predominantly. No one sees me constantly shitting on that or creating debunking posts about others' theories outside of the time Doubke released.

I can't let past negative experiences impact how I treat people who had nothing to do with those. That's not the person I want to be. I want to save that heat for those people responsible imparticular. Because I'm petty, and they were shit people. Some things can just be personal, and none of us have to project it onto anyone other than the people involved.

Even when I did talk about it, that was mainly due to a bunch of public and private harrassment from this one characters fans. Some people in this fandom need to chill and cease some of this behavior. Itxs funny that people are speaking about trauma like it matters, while some people in this fandom have consistently traumatized and harassed others within it for their opinions. Because by the same logic being presented, I could be shitting on this theory, the characterization every day, and I would be justified due to my trauma.

Yet that's a completely inhuman way to look at things I can't let how other people that I like/chose to believe are the minority when it comes to this dictate how I treat people who are just trying to have fun with the thing they enjoy.

I don't even have to project on them because their actions at times will speak louder than I ever could. I owe it to myself to grow past these things, but no one owes me closure or the ability to talk it out. Sometimes, you need space from something or someone to realize how bad it was when you were in it. Things that a person experiences may and can look worse in hindsight.

Proximity matters, it's easy to like another person or character when one can make the decision to distance themselves from their worst aspects. To make that character into their favorite shape and love that. Or even chase after this concept of the character that never truly existed and fall for the facade. Those are choices people make every day with their peers and closest loved ones. Some of those instances are labeled as mistakes and people grow to know better over time. Those relationships eventually end.

Yet if we're all stuck on the idea of who someone else could be for us we neglect what we could be for ourselves. There are downsides to extending the benefit of the doubt too far, and it usually impacts the more considerate party the most. Trauma is no excuse to ignore that others I share a space with have feelings and trauma too. It is not an excuse to treat others any way I please because I can convince myself I've had it worse. In fact having it worse should be a very good reason for one to want others to have it better.

I don't want people to have the times I did. I think everyone has been traumatized enough and that anyone who has convinced themselves that some people haven't is either incredibly self-focused or just plain cruel. That's just my opinion, though. Personally, I think a lot of the Milgram characters are portrayed recognizing this themselves. In their moments of self-doubt, loathing, and regret at their behavior but it's fine if others don't see it that way.

And I will not debate this.

[pascalisporn]

The recent sexual harassment discourse around Pedro Pascal is important, and I don't want to take away from that. But I think we also need to talk about the 24/7 content beast.

As someone who finds a lot of sexually based things funny, I do find the "internet daddy" thing funny. And for a millisecond, I think he did too. The problem is in doing so he fed the beast. Since it got clicks, now EVERYONE wants to use it to get clicks. If I were him (and I'm very much not) I'd find the joke funny for maybe a month or two. But for every clip I've seen of him addressing the whole daddy thing, there are a dozen more I haven't seen. The only common denominator to all of these clips is HIM. He is the one who has to respond to being called daddy. Every. Single. Time. And that has to wear on him.

In the olden days, you'd talk to maybe a dozen publications with journalistic standards of varying degrees. Now it's every asshole with a smartphone. It used to be you'd go on Howard Stern and know exactly what you were getting into. Now it's the wild west. At least with BuzzFeed thirst tweets you agreed to do them. Now everyone everywhere is mining him for the best clickbait in the worst possible way.

Imagine going down a line at a red carpet and every effing interviewer is like "Hey Pedro, or should I say daddy?" "Look everyone, it's the Internet's daddy, Pedro Pascal." "Hey daddy, ready to read some thirst tweets?" And they hand you a phone that says "bratboy764 says - I want to dress up in a minions costume and fuck you from behind." At that point I'd just go into the theater and call it a day. I'm sure he has many interesting things to say, but the media is absolutely fixated on this daddy joke.

He addressed being "daddy" in an entire skit on SNL. That should have been where the joke ended. The idea had become so ubiquitous that one of the biggest comedy outlets covered it.

But not only does everyone and their dog want to run an already dead, inappropriate to begin with, joke into the ground. They want to up the ante by saying things no one who participates in society would say to anyone's face. When everyone tries to be subversive, it results in no one being subversive. Move on, get creative with your questions, get sincere with your questions, get interesting with your questions. But for the love of crap.

Daddy is done.

[max1461]

I think it would be easier to engage with the Big C little c culture post if you named some examples of the kind of statements you're really gunning against. I want to reply and be witty and insightful but it's hard to know where that would be actual addition vs repeating what you meant.

also, I greatly enjoy your blog! we are very different but I would like a friend like you I think.

For context, the post, and a (perhaps?) clearer rearticulation of the same point.

Examples of the kinds of statements you see in popular culture that I think are to varying degrees ill-formed:

"Chinese culture is more collectivist, while American culture is more individualist"

"Vegetarianism is an important part of Indian culture"

"French culture is very sexually liberated"

"Celebrating Christmas is culturally Christian"

etc, etc.

The problem with all these claims strikes me as sort of half epistemic and half ontological. The epistemic part is that these are vague generalizations about things that are difficult to measure, or in some cases even difficult to define in the first place, so how would you know if they were true? The ontological part is that... well, if you were to try and solve the epistemic part, to dig down into the weeds and figure out if these statements hold, you would immediately realize that categories like "American culture" and "Chinese culture" are far too coarse to be useful; the birds-eye-view from which they appear as discrete units is in fact too far from the ground for it to tell you much.

I sincerely doubt there is an answer to the question: "is vegetarianism a fundamental part of Indian culture?" which would really mean anything, or at least anything not absolutely trite. There are lots of vegetarians in India, and this is obviously a cultural phenomenon, but trying to talk about it in terms of the straightforwardly dubious category that is "Indian culture" just seems like handicapping yourself for no reason! Why do this?

[scope-dogg]

Just watched Gundam Seed Freedom, the new movie.

It's very Gundam Seed. I'm a card-carrying Gundam Seed hater - I thought the original Gundam Seed was too derivative with a stilted narrative and that Seed Destiny was a trainwreck past its midway point. This movie doesn't feel like its a big divergence from the tone of its forefathers.

So why did I like it?

I think it just tells a very sincere and straightforward narrative, with clear good guys and bad guys, and while that might have come off as simplistic, patronising or repetitive across a 50-episode anime series, I though this was paced very nicely for its length, without any wasted time.

Another reason I think is that if you've seen Seed and its sequel you inevitably develop a fondness for its characters, even if you originally hated them on first watch - one of the ibggest reasons Destiny drew my ire was that it fumbled characters that first appeared in Seed, even though I didn't even particularly like those characters on the first go around - this series works in mysterious ways. With that said, everyone who conceivably could appear here does to varying degrees, and they all have at least some degree of well-done character development - it feels like you're greeting old friends again. Special mention has to go Kira and Lacus, the leading duo of this film as well as the series overall, who I thought were dull as dishwater in the old series but amends were made here - the two of them actually have to struggle this time, and this time it feels like their successes were earned. New characters introduced are also pretty good and play off the existing cast well.

Finally I think these were some of the biggest and most explosive battles we've had from a Gundam instalment - the trademark Seed beam and missile spam is dialled up to an insane degree and is well rendered in 3D - another feather in that animation style's cap, now showing that it can be just as good or even better than standard flad 2D animation so long as care is taken and expenses aren't spared - the stiff, repetitive animation with unsightly use of colour that marred the original series is banished from this - while I still uphold that Seed and Seed Destiny were ugly series to look at for the most part, this is beautiful.

Overall I enjoyed it despite my oft-times negative history with this series - I appeciated the characters that used to annoy me and all the little nods to the eccentricities of the old series that used to aggravate me. Does this make it worth watching Seed Destiny now? That's probably a hard question to answer, but the fact that my answer's not a hard "no" should say a lot about this movie's quality if you know how I feel about Destiny.

Overall, I've got to concede defeat. Kira-sama, your movie is good and well worth a watch. I kneel.

[tonguetiedraven]

Okay, so- I know you like bonrin, obviously, but I also know you like tatsuma and torako. I have a headcanon that maybe you could possibly write about? Ik you dont like writing fights or whatever but this can be like a minor dispute, not even a big deal. But I hc that Tatsuma calls Torako pet names when she's upset with him to try and get on her goodsidw, but the thing is Ryuuji also picked up on this habit so he ends up calling Rin sweetheart or smth else after Rin and him get in a little fight and Rin picks up on it?

I use this in stories sometimes (it has been all over Hot and Yeti) and I positively love the idea <3

— — — — —

“Sweetheart—”

Rin huffed and turned his head. He wasn’t going to melt this time. 

“Please?”

Rin melted only a tiny bit. It could hardly even qualify as a melt. 

“Sweetheart, please look at me?” 

Rin turned his head the slightest bit. 

“Honey, I’m sorry. I should have brought that up.” 

“Yeah!” Rin crossed his arms tighter and glared off to the side again. He was not going to melt!

“Rin, love,” Rin went stiff as his body started to turn a little. That wasn’t playing fair. “I’m sorry. I’ll fix it.” 

Rin turned back to Ryuuji and let his hands be grabbed. “Okay,” Rin sighed.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Ryuuji said again, drawing him close and brushing a few strands of hair out of Rin’s eyes. Rin promptly melted.

It was, in all honesty, kind of a thing. Ryuuji had called Rin a lot of things over their relationship. Primarily moron and Okumura for the first portion, though monkey, dumbass, and idiot had also featured, all with varying degrees of fondness, until it was mostly Rin, and then sunshine had joined that, babe too, and Rin far preferred those mainly for the way Ryuuji said them.

But the other three…

Sweetheart was the most common, and Rin loved Ryuuji and was ecstatic with their relationship and loved far more about Ryuuji than he didn’t, but it sounded like something an old person would use. 

(That didn’t stop it from making his heart go all swoopy and making him melt a little. He was someone’s sweetheart.)

Honey was a bit rarer, and it also sounded elderly and married-for-ages-like. Rin didn’t concentrate too much on how much he liked it and how much it made him feel like they were going to go the full distance.

Love was the rarest, and it only showed up after the other two. It should sound a bit silly and probably condescending, but it did not. It sounded sincere and always drew Rin’s attention and had his heart squeezing a bit.

Sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m still here, and warm arms around him as he sank into Ryuuji’s hug and tried not to cry.

Honey, we’re gonna figure it out. I know we will, and trusting that Ryuuji was going to put in the work and that they’d build something incredible together.

Love, I’m sorry, and believing Ryuuji was and working to fix it…

The other thing about the three names, was that they almost always only happened after an argument or a fright. They almost always happened when Ryuuji wanted Rin to forgive him or when Ryuuji was being gentle, and Rin was helpless to them and it was stupid, but he couldn’t help it and he retaliated with all the silly and sweet and creative names he could come up. (Some made Ryuuji laugh, some made him blush, some made him freeze as he tried to work them out before he rolled his eyes, some made him punch Rin, and some made him simply raise an eyebrow, and Rin loved all the reactions.)

But it was just those three, and it was just those moments, and it was just a strange little quirk of their relationship — not nearly as strange as other parts (things got weird when you were a half demon.)

Until Kyoto.

They were there for Christmas and New Years, again, and Rin was helping with the celebration dinner because Torako trusted him to help with the running of her inn, and Rin loved helping to create menus and it was always a fun challenge to create enough for everyone that wanted some. 

Ryuuji was at the temple because Rin’s over achieving boyfriend had a hard time not working in some way when he was in Kyoto, and it would be an entirely normal and even happy moment, working in the kitchen with Torako, but it was kind of obvious Torako was upset about something.

She, much like Ryuuji, was all polite and smiles whenever Rin was looking at her or talking to her, but it was frowns when he wasn’t and even a scowl as she pulled a pan out a bit more noisily than necessary.

Rin gave her a wide berth like he’d give a grumpy Ryuuji and took on the more annoying tasks for the meal. 

Tatsuma came as he was finishing up the plating for the grilled fish. 

“Sweetheart?” He asked, and Rin found his eyes darting curiously towards the master of the Myōō Dharani. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No. And I’m sure there’s somewhere else you should be right now.”

Tatsuma left with a sigh and a “I’ll see you later, my love.”

It was darling when he brought her an after dinner drink, and dearest when he took all the dishes away. Peach for the flowers, and finally tiger for when he asked her out for a late night stroll. (Which she actually accepted, and they both came back giggly like middle schoolers.)

Rin watched it all with slowly widening eyes. 

— —- — — —- 

The thing was, they didn’t actually get in fights all that often. Despite both giving off the appearance of hot headedness, they got along and agreed far more often than not, and when they did get in a fight, they were both usually equally wrong, or Rin had done something reckless, so it took him a while to figure out his slowly evolving theory.

But when Ryuuji came home late (again) because of an assignment with Lewin, and he hadn’t called and he’d left Rin worried, Rin got an (unwelcome) chance to test his theory.

He’d loudly done the dishes so Ryuuji would know how unhappy he was (because even if it was missing and worrying about Ryuuji that had him mad, the grumpy anger wanted to make Ryuuji upset by not being around so he made a point to clean and fuss and hang out in any room but the room Ryuuji was in.) And he’d loudly made them lunch for the next day (so Ryuuji would know how lucky he was to have Rin and how badly he’d treated him.)

And as always, Ryuuji came into the kitchen silently and helped to put away the dishes (because stupidly tall boy didn’t have to climb the counter to reach the top cabinets) and silently wash down the stove, and Rin tried to leave with a huff only for Ryuuji to gently catch his hand with a sweetheart, I’m sorry.

“You should be,” Rin grumbled, and tried not to look like a curious cat as his attention shifted from being wronged to being curious. 

“I know, honey. I’ll tell him I gotta be home on time tomorrow.”

Rin, now entirely in this thing, huffed (hopefully Ryuuji couldn’t tell the heat wasn’t there) and turned his head away. 

“Love,” (and it wasn’t fair how much Rin could feel himself softening, and he wasn’t even mad now, just a bit scared and worried for Ryuuji who always overworked when things got intense and gave himself migraines) “It won’t happen like this again. I’ll call or at least text. I’ll let you know.”

Rin huffed again and tried to stand straight and not slump against Ryuuji’s warmth. He had to test this out, and really, Ryuuji could have called. Rin knew Lewin was a whirlwind and that keeping up with him was often all anyone could do, but really. 

“Rin, please look at me.” Ryuuji said, and Rin did (he couldn’t help it when Ryuuji got that tone.) “Dear, I promise it—what?!”

Rin couldn’t help it. The cackle had broken free from his lips before he could possibly stop it, and he was wrapping Ryuuji up in the tightest sort of hug, lifting him up, and spinning them both around. 

“You dork!” He laughed, and then kissed Ryuuji on his indignantly squawking mouth and hugged him all the tighter.

Later when they were cuddled up together under the blankets, Ryuuji asked what the laugh had been about (because he had an annoyingly impressive memory. At least until it came to calling Rin about being late for dinner, but Rin was going to forgive him that.)

“You know you dad does it?”

Ryuuji, who had been tracing his knuckles along Rin’s cheek in a gentle way, promptly drew back with alarmed confusion. “What?”

Rin simply pulled his boyfriend back in close. “The names. Do you even realize you do ‘em? You know, sweetheart and honey and love, and now dear apparently. Your dad does that with your ma.”

Ryuuji’s nose wrinkled. “What?”

Rin nodded sagely and tucked his head against Ryuuji’s shoulder. “Yep. He does them all to try and soften her back up.” Rin gave Ryuuji a playful grin and got a hand over his mouth before he could make a dirty joke. 

“I—yeah, he does, but I—”

“Do the same thing,” Rin garbled behind Ryuuij’s hand. “It’s cute.”

“I’m not cute!”

Rin freed himself and shoved Ryuuji back against the bed. “Are too!” Then, with an enormous grin that had Ryuuji yelping and scrambling to cover his mouth again, (but not quickly enough,) “Darling!”

Ryuuji shoved him onto the floor, and Rin could just cackle on his way down. He loved this boy, silly sweet names and all.

[kenzirr]

This one is pretty bad..

M/N, the older brother of Rafe and Sarah, stood among the Kooks. He was the epitome of charm and confidence, his laughter punctuating the night as he exchanged quips with his friends. His sharp eyes, the same piercing blue as Rafe's, scanned the crowd periodically, taking in the scene with a sense of ownership and ease.

Cleo, ever the observant one, found her gaze drifting toward M/N more often than she intended. Despite herself, she was drawn to his magnetic presence, an aura that seemed to command attention effortlessly. As she stood with John B, JJ, Pope, Kiara, and Sarah, she couldn't help but steal glances at him between sips of her drink and bouts of laughter with her friends.

"Yo, Cleo, you good?" JJ nudged her, a mischievous grin on his face. "You keep lookin' over there like you're tryin' to set something on fire with your eyes."

Cleo blinked, snapping her gaze back to her friends. "I’m fine," she retorted, trying to sound nonchalant. But her attention betrayed her once more, her eyes flickering back to M/N just as he turned his head in her direction. Their eyes met, and for a moment, the world around them seemed to blur.

M/N's lips curled into a smirk, a glint of amusement and intrigue sparking in his eyes. He didn't look away, instead, he winked at her—a slow, deliberate gesture that sent a shiver down her spine. Then, to her astonishment and the Pogues' collective surprise, he started walking towards them.

"Is he coming over here?" Pope asked, a note of disbelief in his voice.

Sarah, caught between her loyalty to her Pogue friends and her affection for her family, watched with wide eyes. "Looks like it," she murmured.

M/N sauntered over, every step exuding confidence. He stopped a few feet from Cleo, his presence commanding attention. "Hey there," he greeted, his voice smooth. "Couldn't help but notice you looking at me."

Cleo raised an eyebrow, her initial surprise quickly giving way to her usual bravado. "Maybe I was just lookin' past you," she shot back, a challenging glint in her eye.

M/N chuckled, clearly enjoying the banter. "Doubtful," he said, his gaze unwavering. "I'm M/N, by the way. Sarah's brother."

"I know who you are," Cleo replied, her tone playful yet guarded. "Cleo."

"Beautiful name for a beautiful girl," M/N said, leaning a bit closer. "So, what brings you to a Kook party? Don't see many Pogues around here."

Cleo tilted her head, her eyes narrowing slightly. "I go where I please. Plus, I got friends here." She gestured to Sarah, who gave a small, slightly awkward wave.

The Pogues watched the exchange with varying degrees of interest and amusement. JJ looked like he was ready to jump in with a witty remark, while John B and Kiara exchanged curious glances. Pope seemed more reserved, observing quietly.

"Friends, huh?" M/N mused, glancing at the group. "Well, any friend of Sarah's is a friend of mine."

Cleo couldn't help but laugh at his audacity. "You got a lot of confidence, don’t you?"

"It’s not confidence, it’s certainty," M/N replied smoothly. "So, how about we get out of here? I know a place with a better view."

Cleo paused, weighing his words and the underlying challenge in his eyes. She glanced at her friends, who were watching the interaction with bated breath.

"Go on, Cleo," Sarah encouraged, a small smile playing on her lips. "We’ll be fine."

With a shrug, Cleo made up her mind. "Alright, show me this view of yours."

M/N's smile widened, and he extended his hand. As Cleo took it, he led her away from the party, the Pogues watching in stunned silence.

Once they were a good distance away, M/N turned to her, his expression softening slightly. "You know, you're different ," he said, his tone sincere.

Cleo raised an eyebrow, a skeptical look on her face. "How so?"

"You're real," M/N replied. "No pretense, no games. I like that."

Cleo studied him for a moment, her defenses lowering just a bit. "Maybe you're not as bad as I thought," she admitted.

"Maybe I'm not," M/N agreed, his gaze locking onto hers. "Let's find out."

[tuliptiger]

Ramble and thoughts below

Do you ever meet people who like. Don't see the threads of the world? "Women are this way, men are this way, there are only two genders, I'm super rich and no one is worth my time, nature is for our picking and to do what we will with it, etc.

I'm not perfect and I have biases, I make mistakes I try and reflect on and do better. But those people are so incredibly. Idk dull? Your world is so small, you are so insecure you must punch others down? To imagine a world where "women" and "men" are only supposed to be one way, a mystical "ideal" way. How boring, how dull.

I read a study where the more people are similar they will find any way to separate each other and make someone less than. Why is that? And if it's true why do less-thans not deserve respect, have their needs met and afforded amenities?

What about a PERSON "less-than" you makes people hate them and often times go out of their way to make their life harder? If racists and all the ists felt a group of people were less than them but never did anything to show that. Never killed them, never tortured them, kept them in lower paying positions would it be a problem? No I really sincerely think it wouldn't.

Why do we afford a select few people to hold a majority of power and resources, enough to make these decisions on who is equal to and less than but never above? I do not understand and I don't understand the people who believe in these things. What a boring, miserable and harmful life they live on purpose and for what? The feeling and need to be an enforcer of some status quo that means nothing and does nothing but solidify and agitate the hate between people? It doesn't really reward them, if nothing it harms everyone involved I Just don't get it .

I grew up in a family that holds negative and to varying degrees, harmful views on all the groups of people. I think I am the only one who does not agree with any of it, I saw from a young age it was unnecessarily cruel and unjustified. Especially if you believe in personal freedom, to try and police others lives if they don't harm you or others is absolutely appalling to me if not at least a waste of time and energy. I just! Don't get it man.

To bring it back, the thread of the world to me is do as little harm as possible, support each other in meaningful ways, the world is diverse and wonderful, nothing is ever as you think it should be for better or worse and like idk! Don't kill each other, don't punch down, don't destroy the environment for your simple benefit of convenience. To think you know the world, the people in it, your personal definition of god, others definitions of literally anything at all is silly to me!

Too much to say, so little to understand