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#I know that overall it’s hard to explain what I draw and why I draw it
alyona11 · 9 months
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Ngl each time I remember how much wnaso fanart I have I feel myself absolutely crazy but then I remember that I have a lot of fun doing it and it makes me happy and I let go of that thought
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twost3ps · 5 months
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Since ya doing au and made Emily Michael and Adam's daughter what about an au where Charlie is Lucifer and Adam's daughter just curious how that would come out of your artistic mind. Love ur art is PEAK bro
AWWW thank you so much!!!! AUSGEHYSGEUSGSUWBSBS
But totes I’ve had thought of this b4. Thank you for giving this prompt so I had an excuse to draw and write it out!!!
An au where Adam and Lucifer are Charlie’s dad… umm well there are a couple of ways this could go….
But the first that comes to mind is the one where Adam falls with Lucifer and they have Charlie. Idk if either Lucifer seahorses it and has the baby or if Adam is the one that carries. Idk first man sure, but yk maybe god was like: hey idk what genitals to slap on this guy so let’s do both and gave him both. When Lilith’s gender was determined, it was a flip of a coin. Adam could have just been the mother if it landed on the other side lol. Or maybe if he falls, god strips him of his title as a man, like Lilith, and swaps his genitals. So basically intersex Adam.
Either way, silly girl Charlie, here ya go! (I don't draw her enough)
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Even as Adam's kid, I don't actually think Charlie changes all that much. Personality wise, at least. She is very much like her dad lucifur- a silly lovable dreamer- but some of Adam still leaks through, obviously. She's definitely a mommy's girl, and in this case, I'd like to think Adam is the mom figure. So instead of taking liliths more regal and more elegant choices of fashion and way of goinh, she takes on more of a punk and grunge look with a mix of her original style and a bit more agression.
For her looks I think she'd have dirty blonde hair and it would be short (it's my preference, lol), and her clothes are a bit more... punk? She dresses much more losely imo , def because of Adam. She keeps her horns out for the fun of it and her emo face still kinda stays with her, especially after Adam praising her for her look when she was in that phase. She does some sick eyeliner and eyshadow. She HAS to play an instrument so she knows the bass and strangly enough the keytar. I also think she's a bit chubbier because she maybe shared her dad's appetite idk.
But overall, she is still a sweet girl with a dream to help sinners. She's just way more assertive and quick tempered.
I won't lie, I got inspired by one of my friends' relationships with her dad and both lovingly insult each other to death. They talk about how much they "hate" eachother, but everyone clearly understands that both would die for one another for sure, especially Adam.
He may say something like. "Oh Charlie? Yeah if it were up to me I'd sell her for a new guitar" right infront of her but she's laughing so hard as Adam holds her close in a side hug because she knows he's joking.
Idk how to explain it but ifkyk, they lovingly talk bad about eachother but somehow it makes you understand that they really do love eachother as parent and child.
As for Adam and Lucifurs relationship, I genuinely dunno. I kinda want them to be a bit strained because even after the fall, Adam is still loyal to heaven. He's not lilith, who wants freedom - Adam likes security, and even if rule under heaven is restrictive, atleast hes safe. Charlie, to Adam, is one of the only good things that ever came out of the fall, and he would fall again and again just so she could be his. Like Lilith, Charlie is mainly parented by Adam, but it's because Charlie was the only shining light Adam had down in hell. Overtime Adam and Lucifur possibly heal and truly get together, but when Charlie was really young, they were not an item at all.
Then there are other options of Charlie being Lucifur and Adam's baby-
Charlie is born under an angel Adam and fallen lucifur and Adam decides to take Charlie and raise her in heaven
Adam is in no way related to Charlie, but one way or meets her and kinda just adopts her. Lucifur doesn't know why but Adam stakes claim ig
There are more potential ones but I'm not really a writer or an idea maker lol. IM NOT THAT CREATINVE SJVDEHBSBS But I think that this is just a great concept lolol a bit harder to work with than the secret royal family stuff but still fun to think about overall
I might come back to this one day o3o
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randomyuu · 1 year
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i keep the warmest truth.
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Well you look at that. Another comic hahahaha why did I do this to myself—
But I do enjoy drawing this comic! It was a different kind of challenge, where this one focuses a lot on close-ups, so I need to learn about the subtlety of expressions. Can’t say I learn a lot (I use lots of copy-pasting of the same position lmao), but I still learn... something!
This beautiful one-shot fic is titled i keep the warmest truth by Dehawny. If I have to summarise the fic, it’s basically Ace!Gojou and Adorable!Yuuji. It's more like gray ace but better keep the “A” going, haha. And as usual, the fic is NSFW, so please do read the tags before you decide to give it a read.
Ace!Gojou is something I don’t know I need. I think I love almost every kind of Gojou headcanons, but Ace!Gojou holds a special place in my heart. I could be biased as someone in the ace spectrum, but the way Dehawny wrote Gojou and Yuuji’s interaction is truly heartwarming. And also a bit possessive, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Possessive Gojou is my jam.
And Yuuji. Oh, dear lord where do I even start with this boy. I don’t have enough vocabularies to express how much I adore Yuuji. Him being his horny teen-self and constantly worrying about making the pleasure mutual is too much for my heart. And he’s still understanding of Gojou’s sexuality. Yuuji is kind, like that. Don’t mind me as I’m crying out happy tears in the corner.
Alrighty, below are my thoughts as I drew this, as usual haha:
After I got a taste with comic-making from my previous GoYuu comic, this one is a bit easier to plan once I narrowed down the scene I want to draw. I wanted the comic to start with Gojou positioning himself and Yuuji in the futon, bringing up Yuuji’s question weeks ago, but that means I have to draw 10+ pages and I was like, “haha nope”. I still love my hands, thank you very much. So I start with Yuuji’s reaction after Gojou explains a bit about his sexuality.
Panelling is still a struggle. In a way that I still feel that the layout can be improved, but I can’t for the life of me figured out what needs to be improved. I guess this kind of thing will come eventually, but not now.
During the sketching, I must say I got super hyped drawing Gojou’s eyes. That eye close-up? I really want to try making it as ethereal as possible in an achromatic setting. It’s intimidating, don’t get me wrong, but I have always loved drawing eyes since I was a kid and this is a fun thing to test my love for eyes.
If I have to complain… it would be the intimate position of them laying on the futon. I never really try drawing “couple-like” positions before, but it was really hard! Like, holy shit, can you guys stop being so awkward looking? Where the hell did I draw it wrong??? Thankfully references have helped me a lot with positioning.
The line art took sooo much time because I realise I want to make Gojou and Yuuji more… buff (kinda) so I need to re-sketch a bit :(( but the result is better than the previous one, so I’ll take what I can get haha. And I start to really like using screentones for shading—once I properly learn how to do manga layout, I think I might fall in love with drawing mangas!
But overall, this is a fun process to do, and I hope you enjoy the comic and this rambling of mine! :D
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starlyx0 · 3 months
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so I have noticed some people think Ben is boring (trust me I’ve seen it)
so I am here to talk about everything ben and try to explain his character!
This won’t be the best character analysis
as English is not my first language and I'm trying to bring more attention to stuff that's not talked about often.
So I'm going to split this into 6 categories to try to make writing this easier for me so bare with me.
Things I’ll go over!
personality 
looks 
hobbies
past & current 
relationship with family 
relationship with friends
This is going to have a bunch of stuff that are headcanons I'm only including them to show ppl if u can put some thought into it u can get some reasonable ones.
1 | personality
I see a lot of ppl reduce his character to only music and being mute? which really upsets me because he soo so much more,
but making his entire personality music makes me so mad
most headcanons I see are all the same PLEASE I AM TIRED of hearing what kind of songs he listens to that or all ship headcanons titled as Bens 
he's a shy awkward guy we all know that cuz he really just stands in a corner awkwardly scratching his neck most times and he also doesn’t like horror or anything scary (eps 11) 
hes a protective older brother not overly like Tyler where hes more protective of Tay from other people ben is more chill going and more afraid of what life throws at Lily, there’s not much here cuz more points I have fit in the other categories :)
2 | looks 
he looks kinda of basic nobody can deny that so I won't, but because of his past I imagine he would have a bunch of scars ik he doesn’t and that’s a bummer cuz I really wish he had 🥲
After he lost his voice he became super facially expressive but also really good at hiding his emotions so it’s either really easy to read him or really hard no in between. also because of his past bullying, I assume it affected him and the way he presents himself that why he sticks to basic outfits and look,
overall trying not to bring attention to himself even after therapy he stuck to his habit but if someone gave him a little push and helped him he would drop it and start putting thought into his looks,
saw this somewhere I don’t remember where they said he would have curly hair as a kid but his mom didn’t know how to take care of it so they ended up shaving it and i think curly or wavy haired Ben would be so cute also he would look amazing with an eyebrow piercing %100 and uhh I genuinely don’t remember him smiling genuinely in canon so i imagine his with a downturned smile I may be wrong about that idk
3 | hobbies
did I make this a separate category just to talk about him being an artist? yes I absolutely did 🙂↕️
I fear most people forgot about it n honestly and that is criminal 
there is not much said about it in canon but I’ll work with what I have,
he probably didn’t have much artistic skills when he was younger and only started doing it as a distraction and a way to calm down n he probably made himself draw
I feel like red projected onto him in that ifykyk😭
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but from the picture Ben draws based on things that happen so he diff draws a bunch of random things he sees and thinks its cool, he would draw everything and everyone and I feel his art style would be more realistic tbh
but Ben also plays guitar, plays piano 
, fight, used to sing, and the medic of the group like what else he do?? he is literally perfect what more can I say here but most of these are not really hobbies but skills he had to learn for the sake of his life 
4 | Past & current 
I’ll talk more here about how his past affects him currently,
I love to think he has a fear of fires because of the fire that burned down his house more of a headcanon tbh
see the pan he burned in that official art? it took him half an hour in his room to calm down his heartbeat and gathering around the campfire is the opposite of relaxing for him
probably hates turtlenecks with his being 
and I want to talk about his voice as that affects him the most what really bothers me about the fandom is that a lot of people ignore the fact that he probably will never speak. 
I see plenty of ppl benlor shippers say 
“he would sing for —-🥺“ “he would whisper to comfort—🥺“ n it makes me wonder are we even talking about the same character???? which is absolute bullshit if he did that he is the one that’s gonna need comfort like please. he would probably never speak unless he sees someone's head gets ripped off there body.
It's said flat out in episode 27
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That he has the option to speak but he doesn’t why? Because he hates his voice and if he hates his voice sm he chose to not speak for yearsss what makes u think he would speak for the sake of someone else's comfort when doing that only pains him? he is selectively mute for a reason I'm not saying he doesn’t have a voice but at least if u headcanon him to speak in the future at least let it be for his own sake instead of doing it for someone else or make it about ur ship.
5 | Relationship with family 
Starting with his parents I don’t think they are bad parents at all they tried to help him as much as they could but they couldn’t so they opened up other options and let him move away and heal even if he’s not with them I think what the did is a good choice for their situation and their relationship would still be great tbh considering the distance 
now onto Lily
I honestly can talk about them for days. I love them 
Their relationship is so sweet the way Lily is stuck to him every chance she gets and ah also used to sing to her can you imagine how she felt seeing her brother coming home later and later covered in bruises not singing to her to sleep anymore watching him sneak out 
she basically watched her brother spiral down and then leave she was probably too young to really understand what was going on fully so now she just wants to spend all the time she can with him and he tries to make up for lost time :(
now Aiden 
most people probably forgot Aiden is the closest person to Ben and the same goes the other way around.
Aiden is a life long friend of Ben’s
he literally trusts him, follows him everywhere and lets him decide for him 
they spent most of their time together since Ben moved in they live together there stuck together.
Aiden probably helped him a lot mentally helping him try new things and be more carefree
Ben also probably helped him mentally and physically patching him up and looking out for him overall,
I see some Aiden fics that are like “Oh no Ben’s gonna be so upset at me 😖” and they make him act like a nurse, not a friend and he just bandages him up then leaves as if nothing happened and someone else comes and in does all the comforting 
like I can count all the fics where Ben acts like a decent person and I'd still have more fingers up than down,
it’s so upsetting how ignored their relationship is in this fandom they deserve so much more honestly.
6 | Relationship with friends 
he is definitely the therapist friend 
He is that kind of friend that you can tell everything to him going from weird food to the worst time of your life and won't even realize it 
his friendship with Ash is very chill not the closest I'd say,
they're really just trying to keep their peace lmao
his friendship with Taylor
I imagine them as gossip girls tbh Ben being a quiet kid while Taylor is popular they definitely know some good gossip 
his friendship with Tyler is something he used to find him irritating but then he realized they have a lot in common especially when Tyler was teaching him guitar which was precise since he was the one who offered 
and his friendship with Logan 
it's really sweet Logan would try to teach him gardening while they talk about their interests
and be absolute nerds together lmao
overall the friendship between all of them is really sweet ik I didn’t give it justice here but the found family trope and the way they find comfort in each other is just everything to me
And I'm done yappin hope u enjoyed that because that was over 1,5k words 
if u have any questions feel free to ask 🫡
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thefaiao · 3 months
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Do you remember what hooked you on the LISA series? It's a decently impactful set of games so I'm curious as to why you've created so many drawings from it
A great question. I don't think I can answer this with absolute precision, but I'll try. I'll begin explaining how exactly I first got into drawing LISA, and we'll work from there to the reason I believe I am still compelled to draw more of it.
I first played and finished LISA at the end of 2016. I was decently active at that point, but hadn't garnered much attention to my drawings. I had made a Hotline Miami post that had gotten decently popular, and a few Yogscast(1)(2)(3) drawings that also did decently well, but overall nothing super noteworthy. Most Yog fans at the time weren't into what I liked mainly, which was Shadow of Israphel.
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I was immature at the time, so had a hard time connecting with people in fandoms. Not to mention, I was a Brasilian in a sea of Americans and Europeans. You'd be surprised how hard it was to relate with people in that setting, but I tried here and there.
I felt pretty strongly about the HM post though, since it felt like a great personal achievement. I felt a drawing I had a clear vision for had achieved what I set out to do with it. Seeing how much people liked it, it was pretty magical when you've never had a post "do well".
Anyway, people were hopping out of tumblr and onto twitter, and I did as well. Twitter, despite everything, sort of puts you way closer to other people. Your reply to someone important is very visible and hard to ignore. It was a type of equalizer. There I had gotten to get my drawings actually seen and shared by Austin, the guy who made the LISA games.
Having had my drawings shared and recognized that way had a strong impact on me, and I even got to talk with an artist I really looked up to at the time, Maren, who had also gotten into LISA. She had done art for SBFP and TF2, so it felt surreal to me to be acknowledged by someone like that. Up to that point I really felt like more of a passive observer to everything.
In 2014 I finished high-school, and 2015 I spent the whole year learning how to draw better. I tried so hard that I ended up dissociating, a very scary emotion, that I didn't even know was a thing at the time. It felt like all that time and effort was starting to pay off, and that there was a way forward here.
First I posted sketches, and the passion I had for the game and motivation from the recognition led me to put a lot more effort than usual into my drawings. I ended up making these, which got really popular, it was very validating.
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So because of all that I kept drawing. I'll be honest, a lot of the time I just wanted to get even more of the attention of these weird new cool popular friends that were paying attention to me for some reason. I was very lonely at the time. I think I stayed lonely for a long time after too.
But eventually people move on, as is normal with fandoms. I didn't really feel my passion for drawing and LISA die out though. I had started a massive LISA art project at the time, that took me 5 long years, and also was more focused in college, where I did Game Design.
Drawing wise, eventually I branched out to other RPGmaker games, but LISA was very easy to draw. It was sort of a home-base for me. Something I could come back to when I was uncertain.
I think Urasawa put it quite well, with Billy Bat:
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Drawing the same characters over and over is extremely rewarding, and a great way to reflect on your progress so far. I suppose it's meditative, but that's not quite the right word. It's very fun and constructive, and people can also keep track of your progress through that. I did the same with OFF characters, a game I had drawn way before all this.
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Of course, I had a lot of issues because of how things developed. I related a lot of my self-worth with the validation I received from people online, and I still do, to an extent...
When I started taking the game I'm making, Meanderer, more seriously, and started living alone, posting anything felt awful. I didn't have the energy for bombastic posts, or the time spent developing the way I draw the characters like I did for LISA, that is, with ease and style. It felt very humiliating, but I understand it was a warped view of things.
It was a long and depressing time in my life, but it taught me a few important lessons, and made me sort of re-evaluate how I engage with "online" overall. But I still liked drawing LISA throughout all of this, I almost felt ashamed of it to a certain point.
All of this isn't to say I didn't love the game itself. It wasn't all just context. I really, really love LISA. It drove me to sobbing tears, which I don't think another game has gotten out of me. It's a fantastic game, that really showed what fresh things you could do with the medium. When I played it I'm not sure I fully understood how much I loved games.
I just grew up with the characters of LISA. Maybe not in my adolescence, but definitely in my adulthood, and with my art. These characters help me orient myself, understand my limits. And it's damn fun to get better at drawing them. Even just a character on an empty blank canvas, with only black and white lines. It's the most fun in the whole world.
To finish it off, I have a general philosophy of not republishing drawings. So whenever I want to do a LISA post I have to draw a LISA post. Just keep drawing and drawing. Don't get hung up on one drawing or idolize one thing you did. Keep making things. It doesn't have to make sense. Just keep drawing.
(There was a power outage while writing this and I had to retype this whole damn post by the way. Appreciate it!)
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melodrangea · 4 months
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hello i hope you’re doing well, may i request a black star or soul x shy!reader? maybe something like they’re out on a date and she’s struggling to order for herself?
Soul and Black Star x a Shy!Reader
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Soul "Eater" Evans
-Soul overall doesn't typically mind you being shy
-I mean he's pretty laid back and isn't into the whole 'party scene'
-and neither are you so it works out perfectly!
-you both prefer to spend your days lounging around the house or going out on more private dates
-like motorbiking through the city or having a small dinner in a 'hidden gem' restaurant
-I'm totally convinced that Soul follows several blogs about 'hidden gem' places because he thinks they're cool and you like them better than big crowded places
-Soul isn't really a big fan of pda in the first place other than hand holding or guiding you around with a hand on your back or waist
-he just likes keeping things private (except when it comes to bragging about how awesome you are...that you cannot escape)
-he doesn't mind doing things like ordering for your necessarily
-he will think its endearing yet a little silly, he would rather you learn to overcome your fears instead of constantly reminding you
-but he won't particularly patronize you for it, just try and gently nudge you into ordering for yourself
"And they'll have the pasta with, wait babe which sauce did you want?"
-he will do small things like that which will put you on the spot but won't require you to directly give your order to the waiter
-it's ok, baby steps!!
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Black Star
-god this kid
-if you're shy in the slightest, I apologize deeply for every considering dating Black Star
-he is not only incapable of sharing spotlight, but just being quiet in general
-though you both find crowds to be unpleasant, he doesn't like being surrounded by "extras" while you find it hard to function due to so many being in close proximity
-and unfortunately without some explaining he doesn't get it at all
-by trying to discreetly ask him to order for you, Black Star will draw even more attention to the two of you
"Wait, why do you want me to order? Do you not feel good or something?" he says very loudly as neighboring tables turn to stare
-black star = having no sense of voice level control
-he will then get very huffy when you obviously get a little passive aggressive with him
-its probably Soul or Kilik that knock some sense into him since Tsubaki "doesn't know how having a girlfriend works" (he says to the lesbian)
-they probably set him straight and make it very clear that you being anxious isn't something your can control and you don't just do it because you want to
-he will be VERY apologetic after, fully understanding why you might be angry at him
-but after about 1,000 punishment sit-ups you come around and forgive him
-from then on he tries to keep your feeling in mind, trying to keep his volume in check, ordering ahead and eating somewhere private instead of ordering at the desk
-he still won't order for you unless he has to because "you can at least order your own food"
-but we take what we can get and this is definitely an improvement from before
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-melodrangea <3
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Hello everything is fine? If requests are still open can I request headcanons (aizen, komamura and zaraki) x fem!reader? The reader being a vampire and having the powers of Alucard from Hellsing? Thank you in advance.
Things have been up and down ya know. Hope things are going well for you? My requests are still open and this was a fun one to get. I don't think I've written for Komamura? Either way, mixing some of my favorite things is always a good time. TW: blood and death talked about, unhealthy relationships and talks of bad treatment towards reader 
Aizen
Aizen is perhaps the worst person to be with as a vampire unfortunately but is anyone surprised
Look, he's capable of learning to love but it's a slow and hard process that sadly means you suffer more then he will....to start
He wants control of everything starting with when and what you eat along with how much you get
His blood, wonderful tasting as it is, is only ever a treat for good behavior and more often than not you get espada blood
This will continue for as long as he doest fully trust or care about you
Fights are a common during this time but the longer you choose him, the longer you stay and fight back the more he softens and opens up
Though it takes time Aizen does eventually see why his actions are wrong and though he won't regret them he does change and aim to make up for it
Fresh blood from kills he got for you, his own blood straight from his arm or neck if you all are feeling cuddly and plenty of gifts
He thrives on watching you thrive, of seeing you smile and revel in being full and able to exist without worry
A power couple in the most dangerous sense of the words not to be taken lightly yet so happy to merely be around each other even if the road to get there was rough 
Komamura
An absolute sweetheart who will do his best to make you feel accepted no matter your past or problems
Komamura understands what it's like to be so different and knows first hand that it can be hard to trust others so he wanted to reach out to you
Though he doesn't fully understand all your needs and will struggle to understand he wants you to tell him everything so he can help
Will have Unahana draw his blood so you can have food, his squad is willing to do the same one you become friends
One of the things he greatly appreciate about your skills is the ability to melt into the shadows, he doesn't want you to have to fight and this method can keep you safe
Trains with you whenever you ask and is happy to help you learn or overcome any trouble
You being a vampire really doesn't change anything to him, Komamura sees you as person separate from anything else
So long as you want to protect people and have good morals that's enough for him, you accept him and he accepts you
Kenpachi
Kenpachi is weirdly the best person to be with as a vampire and he's proud of it
Need food? That's find he was in a fighting mood anyway, he can hunt for you if you want or better yet just drink from him
It's the same for if you're ever worried about losing control or just need to explain some energy Kenpachi is more than happy to fight you and keep a close eye on you
He defends you from the others who think you’re untrustworthy or dangerous, really you're no worse than him
To everyone's amusement you both have this line of thought that you've tamed a beast in one way or another
Really Kenpachi is just so proud to say your his lover and for so many reasons that no one can really argue with him on it
Will want to fight you sometimes ya know to test "your strength and make sure your not holding back too much"
Gets really jealous if you drink from anyone else, even a blood bag but won't admit it, the only exception to this is if its a kill he got you
Overall he's fine with it there's nothing about it that bothers him and he encourages everything you do, feral or not he's here for it 
Hello everyone~ I am back from a rather unexpected break. To make a long story short, a lot happened recently, most of it not good but getting better. I even started a new job that I've been enjoying so far. I want to write again though so I finally sat down and got this bad boy done. The next thing will feature a favorite character of mine that isn't even on my writing list so just know it's happening. Have a good day or night and thank you so much for your support. Lilly~
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annymation · 9 months
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The Kingdom of Wishes- A “Wish” Rewrite
Chapter 5- When Blue Turns Green
Chapter 4
(This one has more of my commentaries than most because I was feeling chatty today, let me know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing)
“…Yes… I do have a wish”
Magnifico holds in a laugh, just a bit longer, gotta hold in the act just a bit longer.
Magnifico walks towards her slowly with that same gentle smile he had at the wish ceremony “I knew you had it in you, just needed a lil push, right?” the king extends his hands in front of her, the same way he always does when getting people’s wishes “May I?”
He asks, as if Asha had a choice.
Asha stares at his hands… It’s not like she can actually grant this wish she’s thinking about right now, so she might as well let the king do it for her.
(… Oh you’re waiting for me to say what’s the wish she’s thinking of? Lol this is the chapter opening, read more if you wanna know)
Asha closes her eyes.
Takes a deep breath.
She thinks about her wish.
And…
She forgets.
Magnifico is holding her wish.
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Asha thought that after giving up her wish she’d feel a great sense of relief, like a weight being lifted from her shoulders. That’s at least what everyone in Rosas says it feels like…
She feels lied to, because there’s no sense of relief to be found at all.
She feels like she just forgot something really important, it’s not her interest in drawing though, it’s something else, but she can’t for the life of her remember what… She feels like part of her is missing.
While Asha is going through all that emotional turmoil, the villains are looking at her wish as if it’s the most adorable thing in the world.
“Now, was that so hard? All you had to do was think about it and *snaps his fingers* there’s your wish” He says while making the wish bubble levitate slightly above his hand
“Oh and what a beautiful wish it is, it really does suit you well, Asha” the queen complemented in a honeyed voice
“Th-thank you?” Asha doesn’t really know how to react to the complement, of course it suits her, it’s literally the most essential part of her…
Oh god, did I actually just give that to them?
“Could I… maybe take a look at it?” She says meekly raising her hand to reach out for the wish.
Magnifico swiftly moves the wish away from her and holds it above his head, like a bully keeping a toy away from a smaller kid.
“Ah ah ah noooooo peeking~” he singsongs in a mocking reprehending tone “You know the rules Asha, you’ll remember your wish only after I grant it for you” he explains like he’s talking to a toddler.
“I… I know but… Why’s that even a rule again?”
“Oooh you and your questions haha” he laughs while pinching her cheek and shaking her head “It’s more fun that way, sillyhead! So you’re surprised when it does come true!”
(I wanna murder this man I’m writing, I might actually just give Aster a gun idk)
Asha notices how the king is acting more… Mean than before, like yeah he has been kinda pushy and overly touchy with her, and disrespected her father’s beliefs earlier. But other than that he was being nice overall…
Now it just seems like he’s making fun of her and treating her like a child.
That’s because he has no reason to keep the mask on, he got what he wanted so why keep pretending he respects her at all, right?
Asha rubs her cheek that now feels sore because of the king’s grip, she was already feeling small in their presence before but now she feels like she’s the size of an insect.
“Patience is a virtue, my doll” the queen states serenely.
Magnifico glances at his wife with a little “Oh I see what you did there” smirk, referring to how she just called Asha a doll, get it? Cause he just turned her into a doll minutes ago with an illusion.
“Tell you what Asha, I was going to grant all of today’s wishes next week, buuuut because I like you soooooo much I shall grant them all… TONIGHT! So you’ll remember it by morning, how about that?” He exclaimed with his usual over the top energy.
In case y’all need a refresher, in my rewrite wishes are granted at night, while everyone sleeps, so when they wake up they can already tell their wish was granted.
Asha is feeling really lost, she doesn’t know what to say or what to do “Yeah that… that sounds great, can’t wait” she forces a clearly fake smile
“Oh I’m sure you can’t my dear, so how about you just take your leave now and go to sleep humm? The sooner you do the faster tomorrow will arrive!” The king says as he guides her to the exit of the treasure room
Asha’s eyes widened in confusion “Wh-what? But didn’t you say dinner was in an hour?”
The king had to hold in a laugh once again. The girl actually believed she’d be allowed to sit with them? How pathetically naive.
“I know Asha, but I just can’t help but notice how tired you are.” He says giving her a fake expression of pity
“Yes little one, you almost fell on the floor a minute ago had I not caught you” The queen adds “Clearly you need sleep, today was a big day for you, wasn’t it?”
“I’m not tired really I just-“
“I said” the king interrupts, his voice stern this time, as he makes direct eye contact with Asha and his blue eyes turn green for a second “You are tired, you should go home, now.”
Asha is frozen in place as she nods slowly “Okay.”
(If you’re wondering why he didn’t use this mild hypnotic ability earlier when they were trying to convince her to give her wish, it's simply because it had to be her choice to give it away, otherwise the magic doesn't work)
The king’s expression relaxes “That’s better…WELP!” He snaps his fingers and starts talking really fast “There! Now all the doors that lead to the exit are open! Thank you for coming sweetheart! Nighty night now! Sweet dreams! Buh-byeeeee!”
B L A M
The door slams on her face
Asha’s now outside the treasure room all alone
About 5 seconds pass
The door opens again
“Don’t forget your goat.”
Magnifico’s is holding a very happy Valentino by the colar of his little goat sweater
He drops Valentino on Asha’s arms and-
B L A M
The door closes again.
“Good night…”
She says quietly and starts walking down the stairs, making her way back to the exit.
As she walks we cut back to the couple real quick.
Magnifico has his ear glued to the door trying to hear Asha’s footsteps getting farther away. He has mischievous smile on his face.
Amaya is just standing there watching him do so, smiling just as wickedly as her husband.
“Is she gone yet?”
“Shh shhh wait” he signals to her with a finger on his lips
He no longer hear her steps, she’s far away enough.
Magnifico cannot hold it in anymore and starts letting out a wheezed laugh…That grows into a cackle… And then evolves into an outright deranged fit of uncontrollable laughter as he’s leaning on the door hugging his sides.
Amable is laughing along with him, letting a dark chuckle that grows into a maniacal giggling.
Their voices echo through the dark room.
(… I need you guys to understand these two are losing their minds because they successfully manipulated an 18 year old… Because they’re petty she raised her voice to them in public… These people are in their 50s… What I’m saying is the straights are not okay)
So we cut back to Asha who’s getting near the entrance of the castle, and just like how the king said, the door is open.
Her expression is a mix of lost, sadness, but most of all defeat.
Even though she understands she’ll get this wish granted tomorrow, it was still something that was taken away from her
She doesn’t feel like she’s whole anymore.
“Is this what people travel days on end to experience here in Rosas? Give away part of themselves… So they can have it be made a reality by someone they don’t even know?”
She hugs Valentino tightly, and he realizes something is wrong, so he begins licking Asha’s cheek.
She smiles a little bit with that “Thanks Val. I’ll be okay.”
She puts him on the floor to take some deep breaths before she leaves
She starts talking to Valentino (more so to herself, really)
“I mean, maybe I’m just being dramatic, like they said, I’ll get my wish granted tomorrow, right? Then I’ll feel normal…”
She's distracted talking to herself so she doesn’t notice…
That the door to the room where the queen left Bravo in earlier…
Is open.
“But then again… Those two are really not how I thought they’d be at all… I mean yeah, I knew Magnifico was a bit full of himself sometimes and the queen was… well, actually till today I’ve never seen her being nothing but sweet… They were just acting so strange ya know Val?… Valentino?”
“Maaa! Maaa!” Valentino starts bleating, but not to talk to Asha…
He’s talking to Bravo, who just so happens to not have had his dinner yet, and is preparing to pounce at the naive baby goat that just thinks he found a new friend.
“VALENTINO!!! NONONONOGETAWAYFROMHIM!!!” She runs as fast as she can and manages to catch her goat just a millisecond before Bravo made his move.
The lynx is now growling at her aggressively, she looks behind her and sees the door of the castle opened, she can make a run for it and someone outside might be able to help her, she can do it.
Buuuut Valentino is panicking, realizing the gravity of the situation and he kicks his legs to run away, making Asha accidentally drop him.
“NO NO VALENTINO COME BACK!”
He runs up the stairs and the lynx runs after him, Asha obviously follows them running like her life depends on it.
“BAD KITTY! THATS NOT YOUR FOOD THATS MY GOAT!!”
She runs and gets close enough to the wild cat to step in his short tail. He lets out a scream of pain and turns to her with blood thirty eyes
“… Uh That- That was an accident hehehe” she nervously says as the cat prepared to jump no her
She manages to dodge him and starts running up the stairs after Valentino, with the lynx just after them
She’s realizes they’re getting near the treasure room again
“KING MAGNIFICO! QUEEN AMABLE! HELP!! PLEASE!!!”
(GYYYYYAAAA GET YOUR FUC*** DOG BI**
It don’t bite
YES IT DO!!!)
Asha makes it to the treasure room but she has no time to close the door.
But as they run to the other side of the room Bravo steps on the shattered glass slipper Valentino dropped earlier and gets distracted.
(Haha you thought that was just a pointless reference, didn’t you?? BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY PLOT RELEVANT HAHAHA- the writer proceeds to lose her mind as this scene unfolds)
Asha sees this as an opportunity, as soon as she enters a different room she slams the door behind her shut.
She and Valentino are both exhausted, Valentino drops on the floor panting heavily.
“I… *puff* am never… *puff* letting you in this crazy place AGAIN” she says trying to catch her breath
She looks around the room they’re in now
It’s a corridor, with decorative black armors along the way, leading to a new flight of stairs
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(I know that you knew what room I was referring to so no need for an image reference, but either way have Magnifico happily jumping on a poor armor’s head)
“… Whoever designed this castle REALLY liked stairs” she comments to herself
She takes Valentino into her arms again.
She can hear Bravo scratching the door behind them and growling angrily.
Asha looks to the stairs in front of her and sighs “Well… Guess we’re not getting out of here unless we ask them to control their crazy cat… Greeeeeeat” she pretty much groans, clearly not looking forward to talking to them again.
She and Valentino start making their way up these new stairs
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(Take a shot every time I wrote stairs in these past few chapters)
The ambience is dark, a direct contrast to how it was when Asha first entered the castle. Before it was beautifully illuminated by the sunset lights coming out of the glass windows
And now it’s night time, and the castle is just faintly lit up by some candle lights hanging from the ceiling.
She sees a light coming from the end of the stairs… the light seems to irradiate a mix of blues and greens flashes
Asha then hears something coming from the room she’s approaching… laughter?
That must be their room
She thinks… and wonders what they’re laughing so much about.
Asha reaches the end of the stairs.
She’s now in front of the large door… it’s slightly open, just enough that she can peek through.
She was about to say something like “excuse me” or “sorry to bother you again, but your cat wants to kill me” but her mouth was closed shut when she heard
“OH that stubborn little BRAT got me a headache!” Magnifico complained loudly while massaging both sides of his temple with his fingers “I never had to use THAT much mind bending magic on anyone before” he says sounding a mix of frustrated and almost impressed
(He’s referring to that whole illusion sequence at the end of their villain duet last chapter)
Mind bending magic?…What’s he talking about?
Asha looks through the small opening in the door and sees the king and queen are standing in the middle of the wishes room
(Like how Asha and Magnifico are here in this concept art)
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Asha is in awe with the sheer beauty of all of them in that majestic room. She understands how much each one of those bubbles represents the most beautiful part of so many people, and that alone fills her with joy.
“Aww my poor darling” the queen coos as she caresses her husband’s head “You deserve some much needed rest, say, how about I prepare a sleeping potion for you before we go to bed humm?” She suggests lovingly, but not like the fake loving voice she does all the time, this one felt absolutely genuine.
Asha remembers the tales that queen Amable used to be an amazing potion maker when she first arrived in Rosas… But that’s something no one really talks about anymore.
“Oh please do, my love.” Magnifico looks at his wife with a devoted passion, then turns his attention to the wishes above him with a malicious glee “But before that, let us see which lucky subjects get their wishes improved tonight” he lets out a dark chuckle
Improved? What's THAT supposed to mean??
Asha holds Valentino close to her and places her hand on his mouth so he won't make a sound
Asha watches as the king moves his arms bringing some wish bubbles down, they circle around him swiftly, forming patterns in the air.
(Ya know like how he did in the movie during the “At All Cost” sequence? That was neat, not gonna lie)
Paying more attention she notices something really odd.
Most of the wish bubbles aren’t blue… they’re green.
Asha has never seen green wish bubbles before, only blue ones… like her wish.
Speaking of which
“I thought we’d begin with our little star of tonight, I am oh so looking forward to coming up with something special for her” The queen says sinisterly while tapping her fingers on Asha’s wish bubble. Her voice makes Asha feel a chill run down her spine.
What on earth is going on?
Now she’s trying to hold her own breath so they won’t hear her.
“Ooh you know how I always leave the best for last, my sweet. Besides, there’s some wishes here that have been gathering dust for a while” Magnifico gazes upon the wishes floating around him like a predator watching his prey “And what kind of king would I be if I left our precious people waiting, right?” He adds with sarcasm.
Amaya just shrugs and goes to the table with potions and alchemy materials to start preparing a sleep potion for her beloved husband.
Magnifico makes the wishes spin around him faster and faster “Now lets see… Eeny, meeny, miny… YOU!” All of them suddenly stop moving, Magnifico is pointing at one specific blue orb, he signals with one finger for it to come to him.
As the orb lands on his hands it reveals a young woman flying in the sky, along with a flock of birds.
The king’s face is cruel, but his voice is saccharine sweet “Awww would you look at that my beldam, little Wendy wishes to fly like a bird.”
“Is that so? How lovely” The queen says while preparing her potion “And what shall you do about that? Oh wise and benevolent king” she speaks jokingly.
It’s like they do this pretty much every night, and they just never get tired of it.
“Hmmm… You mentioned last month you’d like to have a mockingbird as a pet, didn’t you?”
The queen gasps with one hand on her chest “Awwn you remember?” She says, already knowing where her husband is going with this, but playfully acting shocked.
“Now how could I ever forget a wish from the only person that matters in this kingdom?” The king says lovingly
Asha feels like she’s gonna pass out, he’s not actually going to do what she thinks he’s going to do… Is he?
“Well mi reina, your wish is my command” He says as he caresses the blue orb and starts mumbling some words in latin as his eyes start glowing green
“Mutatio animae, mutatio mentis, hoc votum fecisti, nunc meum est”
As he says the spell, the image of the young girl named Wendy looks at him terrified, as her arms turn into wings. The king caresses the orb a few more times and it slowly goes from blue… to green.
He removes his hands from the now green orb, revealing inside a little bird flying away scared, like it’s trying to get out.
… Asha holds in a gasp. She feels a single tear forming in the corner of her eye.
The king looks at the wish proudly, admiring his handy work “More of a Wendy Bird than a Mockingbird, but eh, it’ll do” He shrugs as he lets the bubble fly up to join the others “Tomorrow once she wakes up as a speechless helpless little bird, she’ll come flying begging for my help, and voila! You get your bird!” He says excitedly to his wife
“And what will you say if her family comes asking where she is?” The queen asks him, but not out of concern, more like she’s testing him to see if he’d know what would be the right thing to say
“… Not my problem?” He laughs at that
“Darliiiiing~ remember what we practiced”
“Hahah I know I know I’m jesting.” Magnifico says after laughing a bit more, but then his face instantly morphs to a sorrowful expression as he demonstrates what he’d actually say “Oh… I’m deeply sorry, but Wendy wished to be free from you, to live somewhere far far away… I’m sure she’s much happier wherever she is now” as he finishes the little act his face instantly goes back to an evil grin and gives her a bow like an actor.
“Hmmm not bad, you’re getting better” Amable complements softly
“Well, I do have the best teacher” He lifts his head and gazes upon her lovingly.
(This would be so sweet in any other context)
Asha feels like the world is crumbling down around her the more and more with each and every word that comes out of their mouths…
These people were more vicious than she could’ve ever comprehended… They tricked thousands of people… they tricked her.
“NOW!” Magnifico claps loudly, snapping Asha out of her thoughts “Let’s see who’s our next lucky subject~” he says in a singsong voice as the wishes once again start spinning around him, and once again he picks a random one
“A wish to write engaging stories about your culture?… Booooring!” Magnifico yells at the wish, the little man inside the orb holding a pen and paper gets frightened. “How am I supposed to make this fun for us?”
He ponders as he throws the orb to one hand to another several times, playing with it like it’s just a normal ball. The little man in the wish bubble is being thrown side to side like a rag doll.
“Just do the same you’ve done with the royal cooks, my love” Amaya suggests “Change the subject he’ll be writing about to something more interesting.” she says nonchalantly while grinding some herbs with a mortar and pestle for the sleeping potion.
(English is not my first language, so like, learning new words like “mortar and pestle” has been pretty cool :3)
The royal cooks?… Dahlia’s parents.
Asha thinks to herself in horror
“Oooh good idea my love!” Magnifico said excited as he turned his attention to the wish and once again recited the spell in Latin
“Mutatio animae, mutatio mentis, hoc votum fecisti, nunc meum est”
“Aaaaand there, why write about your lame ol’ culture when you can write about something much more important… like ME” the wish is now green and shows the man writing a book about Magnifico.
Asha connects the dots. That family recipe book Dahlia found, THIS is why her mom doesn’t care about it anymore, the king made her only interested in making meals that fit his liking.
(I do love when my set ups pay off)
“Ahem” the queen says with an eyebrow raised and a mischievous smile
“… I MEAN US! WRITE ABOUT US! Of course, I’m sorry my darling, hold on le-let me change it!” Asha sees an emotion that she hasn’t seen from the king ever before, he got nervous, but not in a scared or pretending to be nervous way, more like an “awkward teen trying to impress his crush but he gets flustered” kind of way.
“Heh heh I’m just teasing, dear.” The queen says giggling at her husband’s small panic attack “We both know the less this kingdom knows about my past the better, so really, you may have all the spotlight you want” she speaks sweetly.
The king sighs with relief and comments casually “Hehe indeed, it would cause quite a stir if the people found out their beloved queen was banished from her homeland for being a witch back in the day, now wouldn’t it?”
As soon as the king finishes that sentence a cloud of smoke pops out from one of Amaya’s flasks, making a loud noise.
“Your sleep potion is done… Also, you know I much prefer the term “alchemist”” she corrected him, sounding a bit more serious… like the word "witch" strikes a nerve with her.
“… My apologies my love, I forgot” he says genuinely
(… I might make a blog all about this, because there’s history here, let me know if you’re interested… anyway enough of them being a cute evil couple, Asha is SUFFERING)
Asha is not even that shocked with the reveal that the queen was a witch, that’s minor compared to everything else she has seen.
They tricked THOUSANDS of people for the past 25 years, and no one had a clue…
How many people had their dreams twisted beyond recognition? How many families had their culture erased from their minds after entering Rosas? And how many couldn’t even tell that they’ve been forced into a complacent life of loving nothing but these two monsters?
And… What would they do to her wish?
Asha will get that answer earlier than she thought, as she hears the king say:
“You know, we really should wrap this up, it’s getting late…” he says looking at the stars outside and then turning his attention to Asha’s wish that is floating around, he smiles maliciously “Let’s finish this with our sweet birthday girl’s wish, shall we?”
Asha feels her heart stop.
Magnifico makes the wish fly towards him
Amaya also walks to her husband to take a closer look at the wish.
As they take a look in her wish we see...
Asha happy with other people in Rosas.
That was her wish, to make other's happy, and to be accepted.
Magnifico looks quite disappointed but not surprised "A wish to “Make others happy”… Pffft pathetic." Magnifico rolls his eyes and sighs "She couldn’t even want something only for herself. Now how can I possibly turn this into something entertaining?"
Asha's eyes widen, that's it, that was her wish... She can't really feel a connection to it anymore... Why would she want to be accepted?
(Sooo yeah, just like how Simon’s personality changes because he doesn’t have his wish, a similar thing is gonna happen to Asha, but it’s not gonna be that noticeable)
"Hmmm I can think of a way" The queen says with a wicked gleam in her eyes as an idea forms in her head
"Do tell" he says already anxious to hear what his wife’s words of wisdom.
She walks a few steps away from her husband to start explaining her idea
"Riddle me this, darling... Who makes a kingdom happy?"
Magnifico... The damn king of this forsaken kingdom, struggles with that question for a bit
"Uuuuh... Shoot, I don't know. Uh florists? Backers?...Hair dressers?"
The queen gives him a one arched brow look.
"That’s kind of a vague question, don’t you think? Peasants get excited over the simplest of things" He shrugs
"Fair enough... Let me put this in a different way then... What do we want to make of this girl" She continues her train of thought walking around the room.
"To be honest? I considered just pushing her off the stairs handrails a couple of times today" He states like killing a random 18 year old is just a normal Thursday.
"Yes yes me too, but that's thinking too small, what she has shown today is that she has this almost unbending spirit, so much so she made you tire yourself using your powers... What we need is to put her under control, make sure that she NEVER inspires anyone else to be like her" She explains eloquently.
Asha does not like the sound of that at all.
"I like the sound of that. Buuut how can I do that with such a simple premise? "Make others happy"... Should I just make her WANT to conform to the norm?" He ponders
"That is, again, thinking too small, darling" she walks towards him slowly "Wanna know something I've always wanted?"
Magnifico was kinda taken aback by the sudden change in subject but ok "Well, just tell me and it shall be yours, my queen" he said with his voice dripping with passion
"... I always wanted a daughter"
...
...
...
wha-
"W H A T ? !"
Magnifico literally screamed with eyes wide like a bat blinded by the sun, his voice echoed through the room in a way that some of Amaya's potions even shook.
"WOMAN, SINCE WHEN??? I THOUGHT WE AGREED BABIES ARE THE MOST HEINOUS CURSE ONE CAN HAVE CASTED UPON THEM???? NOT TO MENTION I WANT NO HEIRS!!!"
He's not mad by the way, he couldn't get mad at her even if she stabbed him, he's just surprised, really. Because that's something he thought they both agreed on.
Amaya blinks a few times after that reaction, she may love this man more than anything in the world, but wow, his temper is something they really gotta work on.
She continues her train of thought like that didn't just happen.
"Yes... But Asha is not a baby, is she?"
... Oh... Oh no... Asha understood where the queen is going with this
The king did not tho
"... Ooooooh... Uuuuuh??" He stared at his wife, very confused "Not that I’m questioning you dear, but um... Are you suggesting we make THAT girl... A princess?"
(Hehehe subverting the disney princess trope, I love it)
"Precisely." The queen nodded pridefully, then she continued “You change her wish from “I wish to make others happy” to “I wish to be a princess”, it’s semantics since a princess does make the kingdom happy. Her personality will be rewritten to fit that wish, and she shall never question us again.” The queen speaks like she’s just talking about the weather.
The king is not fully convinced though "...Thats all fine and dandy but I thought we were gonna punish her, not give her a life of luxury”
"And who said anything about a life of luxury? You know the guest room on the west wing tower?"
"Yeeeeees?" Magnifico starts to understand his wife’s train of thought
"We lock her up in there." Amaya says it like it's simply the most natural course of action.
"Hmmm" He thinks for a moment with a hand in his chin, and by the looks of it he warms up to the idea "Yeah I can see the appeal now... It’s like throwing her in the dungeon, but in a socially acceptable way." he rationalizes with an evil smirk
"To the people it'll seem like this poor orphan girl just got the wish of a lifetime. While to her, well, she won't remember ever wanting anything else than to obey us... And as a bonus she can stay drawing in her room all day, just how she wanted." She has a wicked smile that grows more and more with every word.
"There's just one caveat to that though” He says with a worried expression “She'd be the heir" He almost whispers like the word frightens him.
The queen shrugs "And? We are too beloved for anyone to dare threaten our lives, and with my potions we can remain young for many MANY years to come" The queen says like that’s all obvious.
Magnifico still looks concerned. He really despises the possibility of anyone getting his crown.
Amaya notes his fear, and genuinely gives him some words of comfort... in their own way "Here's a thought, in the impossible scenario that we may have to come to terms with our own mortality... I'll give the girl my special tea, the same one I gave to your brother all those years ago, and she won't take what is ours. How does that sound?" She speaks calmly... How she's gonna straight up kill this girl if they so happen to become old or sick.
Magnifico's face softens at that, his wife always know the right things to say
"As always, the brightness of your mind outshines the sun, moon and stars, my love." He holds her face tenderly. "Very well then, if a little princess locked up in a tower is what my queen wants, then your wish is my command"
They exchange a kiss.
Magnifico turns his attention back to Asha's wish and mumbles the spell one more time
“Mutatio animae, mutatio mentis, hoc votum fecisti, nunc meum est”
And the blue bubble with Asha smiling among the citizens of Rosas... slowly turns green, and the image inside morphs into Asha smiling forcefully, while standing between the two royals.
... So umm yeah how's Asha feeling right now you may ask?
Yeah our girl is not fine, she's actually panicking. Tears running down her face while she hugs Valentino.
(It's like she's stuck in a story that the writer also can't wait to move along and get to the happy stuff... So let's move this along, shall we?)
Valentino obviously didn't understand anything that just transpired but he sees how sad Asha is, so he tries cheering her up.
"Maa-"
Asha covers his mouth instantly
But they heard it.
"What was that?" Queen Amable whispers.
The two royals start walking to the door.
Their steps are quick.
Asha doesn't think twice and slides down the stairs's handrail.
She’s terrified. If they find out she heard all that she’s as good as dead.
She makes it back to the corridor with the black armors.
Asha knows behind that door there's a savage wild cat... Which now feels less scary than the people coming from those stairs.
She gets an idea.
Asha opens the door quickly and when Bravo notices that it's finally open he runs inside to attac-
B L A M
Asha pushes one of the armors and it falls on the lynx, making a lot of noise.
"WHO'S THERE?!"
Magnifico’s enraged voice echos through the whole castle.
She hears their footsteps quickly approaching.
They have not seen her yet.
She runs as fast as she can to the exit without looking back.
Magnifico and Amaya get to the corridor and find quite the sight...
Their cat has his head stuck in the armor's helmet, he's struggling to get out like those cats you see on youtube that get their head stuck in a jar.
Bravo meows in his raspy voice panicking as he moves around.
"OOH my sweet precious babyyyy! How on earth did this happen??" Amaya rushes to his rescue like a worried mother.
"Bad kitty Bravo, you don't attack armors, just the people inside them" Magnifico says sternly.
Meanwhile our girl is BOOKING IT down those dang long stairs, jumping the steps and almost falling a couple of times.
She doesn’t know if they're actually right behind her or not.
But she’ll not look back to check.
She finally makes it out of the castle.
The wish ceremony celebration is close to ending but there's still a few people in the surroundings of the castle, talking to each other.
Asha just keeps running, she let's go of Valentino, she knows he can keep up with her
So she just keeps running.
Some people see her and try asking what’s wrong.
But she can’t stop.
She' can’t look back.
Tears run down her face.
And...
She’s stopped, by a large hand holding her arm.
Chapter 6
Final Thoughts
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AFTER 3 CHAPTERS ASHA IS GETTING AWAY FROM THE STRAIGHT WHITE RICH PEOPLE!!! RUN GIRL RUNNNN
Don’t get me wrong, I LOOOOVE writing these two with a passion, but I wanna focus back on my girl Asha and couldn’t quite do that with those two stealing the spotlight… They gonna keep stealing the show every time they appear in the story tho but hey that’s kinda what it means to be a Disney villain.
With that said, I hope this helped make it pretty clear how Disney royally screwed up when they scrapped the villain couple concept. Like, it’s not just a “oooh that looks neat” thing, NO it’s more of a “THE WRITING POTENTIAL IS UNFATHOMABLE” thing.
Because I cannot stress this enough, we’ve been told through Disney’s WHOLE HISTORY how love is the strongest thing of all, and that’s true… But what happens when two immoral people love each other? WHAT HAPPENS??? Well I’m planning to show here what I think would happen, and it’s scary.
Also a recurring theme I was trying to make very clear in this chapter is how this couple comes from completely different worlds, Amaya was a peasant, Magnifico was born royalty, but they both learned from each other to make themselves more powerful… Actually, I think I might write a whole blog about their respective backstories, like yeah I wrote about them here but this was the early concept (not that it’s out dated, you can still read it if you haven’t yet) but after some further reflection I came up with even more details to flesh them out and make them feel like rounded characters, that although are irredeemable, have their own perspectives on the world that makes them see themselves in the right… Let’s just say they think the world wronged them so they can do the same to others, that’s all I’ll say for now.
Also OH MY GOSH, I did it, the animal sidekicks pretty much are the whole reason the plot is set into motion. I'm actually so happy.
When I first started to think on this scene (Last month) I thought about Asha just going back up the stairs to ask for her wish back because “oh she changed her mind”… which didn’t feel right, ya know? Like yeah it’s cool she’s so determined, but it felt off… And then the idea of the royal couple having a pet lynx showed up to save the day.
It’s kinda funny that none of this would’ve happened if Magnifico just teleported Asha outside after getting her wish… But he was feeling petty as usual so he decided to have her walk AAAAALL the way back… And he accidentally messed up the spell and instead of just opening the door to the exit with the snap of his fingers, he opened ALL the doors, letting Bravo get out. So my point is that Magnifico’s pettiness will bring his downfall, as it should be.
Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! And get hyped because STAR BOY IS COMING!!!
Thank You For Reading!
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haha hey. you should share your droog autism headcanons :]
ALRIGHTY: DROOG AUTISM HEADCANONS.
I've previously stated that my Droog has autism and I will elaborate below. He has sensory issues and sensitivities, difficulty emoting and recognizing his feelings (alexithymia), has difficulty socializing and connecting with others, and a very monotone speech pattern. He is also DEEPLY uncute about it and reacts to difficulties by removing himself from a situation or becoming agitated or aggressive- he has very little interested in adapting or overcoming anything.
There's more to it, but overall, he has "committed to the bit" in a sense. Oh, he doesn't make eye contact? Obviously it's because he doesn't believe you're worth his time to look at or the respect it would imply. He doesn't want to talk to someone? He's too cool to have a conversation- especially about anything outside of a narrow list of interests he's interested in chatting about. Won't eat at a new restaurant? He's a loyal regular at his usual places, and nothing could be better than them, so why bother, it's not because he can't imagine trying new foods that he hasn't already decided he likes, or new people who don't already understand his particular likes and dislikes- He might have to actually explain himself instead of simply knowing he's understood. He only wears very specific clothes and adheres closely to certain fashions? That's simply the best kind of clothes to wear, nothing else!
He has a lot of texture sensitivities that come through in his clothes and the fit of them. His clothing is all tailored a specific way, possibly not even the "best" way to fit him, but the only way he can tolerate. He has very specific requirements for the clothing he wears and the fabric used and he prefers to work with a specific tailor every time who knows exactly what he wants, and has no problems with all his demands and alterations. In this case I do mean Stitch, who does usually get paid, not lavishly, but paid.
He hates bright light, although he isn't unique in this, as a good amount of Dersites find it pretty insufferable. Loud environments can also make him… itchy. There's that joke about the "insert guy doing thing here" "don't worry he's stimming", and that's kind of Droog in a nutshell but with physical violence. Break something, hit someone, destroy property, whatever it is he can do. He likes bludgeoning best in hand-to-hand combat, compared to Slick's preference for blades- although his hitcher does fine as well. Droog simply doesn't want to bother with a knife or that kind of finesse- he just wants to beat someone as badly as possible as hard as possible until he feels better, and he does.
He's pretty sensitive to certain things including dust and other particles in the air and on surfaces and takes cleaning very seriously. He's a very lazy person who doesn't buy into the idea of doing things for others much of the time, so he won't clean anything he doesn't use or touch. He has a schedule for dry cleanings, laundry, dusting, and other things, and keeps to it out of habit. He despises spontaneity and earnestly plans out his day in advance, and may take any distractions from that plan badly and violently. Although he always has time to shirk paperwork or ignore something only half-important that Slick is trying to tell him.
Droog is capable of cooking, but rarely does, because he doesn't like to cook for anyone else, and is specific enough with instructions and recipes that it gets on everyone else's nerves to watch. At least he leaves the counter surfaces clean, even if he won't do the dishes afterwards. He doesn't eat that much, to be honest, compared to what he should be, and not exactly nutritiously. Most of his meals are very heavy, and he doesn't particularly go for vegetables, although he will eat them cooked. Anything crunchy kind of makes him twitchy because the noise draws attention and he doesn't like being seen eating. Or chewing. Or enjoying food. He usually wants his food with meat involved, regardless of the other contents, and is picky about seafood, but eats it. Notably, no crustaceans. But if he gets something caught in his teeth he will literally make Slick pull over so he can step inside somewhere to get it out under penalty of property or personal damages.
He's got very specific special interests- fabrics, men's fashion- women's fashion, although he doesn't talk about it much and doesn't like talking to women particularly (although he doesn't usually talk to anyone if he can help it), he knows too much about alcohol, the process of making alcohol, cigarettes, making your own cigarettes, interior decorating, and firearms. There may be a few others, but he's essentially very into stereotypical masculine things, for the most part.
He hates explaining anything. In a perfect world, everyone around him would simply understand exactly what he wants without needing to make eye contact with him or ask him questions in any way. He's very oriented around himself- yes he is selfish, a bit vain, and somewhat self-obsessed, but those are all far less relevant details- the way he views the world is simply through a very singular lens, and he's leaned into how easy it is for him to dissociate from his empathy and compassion. He hates overwhelming feelings, and if he indulges his emotions to a certain degree they can become overwhelming, and he cannot beat his own feelings to death unfortunately. So he doesn't do that. He keeps it all inside him somewhere buried under a rock and one day he will die and that'll take care of them.
He's a customer service nightmare. If you ask him questions about what he wants its like pulling teeth. But he can ask all the questions he wants. His flat tone makes it really hard to notice when he's asking a question instead of just stating a fact, and he treats both the same way, so he's a pain in the ass to navigate around. His saving grace is that he doesn't care about the temperaments of employees. The product quality is what matters to him- although if the electric lights are too loud in the store he might leave. Or break them.
He exclusively smokes cigarettes and drinks hard liquor and is hard pressed to drink beer or anything fruity, and he's never tried any other kind of recreational or illicit substance. This is a man who has never been high. The most he's ever done is a light trip during exile thanks to accidental mushroom ingestion with the rest of the crew and he didn't like it.
He was the most miserable man alive during exile, I will be very clear. His name was Detached Derelict. He hates sand, and hates wearing wrappings, there are too many places for debris to get in. He couldn't be as lazy as he liked, felt too exposed, had inconsistent access to food and a schedule- overall, it made him very irritable and prone to violent outbursts. Killing things for food was one of the only things that helped him feel any better. If he let himself think about it, he'd probably be thankful about how accommodating the crew was to him, in dealing with his cursing, pickiness and overall downer mood. He always was very fastidious with his hygiene and grooming himself. Also, despite his propensity towards violence and relative comfort in killing other carapacians he is entirely unwilling to engage in cannibalism and would be the most likely to refuse it even as a last resort, preferring to starve, which the other three would likely cave to and partake in- and that's not really a good thing as much as it is simply a hill he would literally die on for non-moral reasons of psychological discomfort and general food preferences!
His connection with Pickle Inspector is somewhat related to both of their autism as well, and he has a really psychosexual intense fixation on PI. Both of them are reclusive, resistant to interpersonal connections have very specific interests that they prioritize over all others, think in very "singular" mindsets through the lens of their own experiences, and are both intelligent and skilled in their own ways. Droog can see that in him and little shades of himself in him. In some ways they have special interests in one another. The biggest difference is that the way Droog's autism manifests and his particular special interests are more acceptable- such as hard liquor and firearms as a man, and he feels unable to dress in a way that isn't presentable, where PI has a harder time keeping up with his own personal hygiene in a way that makes him fit the social standard a bit less. In the end both are autistic and behave in ways that ostracize them from others, outside of their professions. Last think I'll add about him is his contamination-based issues. He hates being sick more than anything and will do almost anything to avoid it. He hates insects, household pests, mold and dirt, anything like that. He's been known to walk around with disinfectant and a lighter in an effort to execute any bugs that get into the hideout or anywhere else he can find. He only tolerates spiders and cobwebs, and it's barely, because of his patron, which is one. He hates to feel dirty or scratched up and will buff scratches out of his shell within hours of getting them. If clothing he wears is sullied with someone else's blood there's a good chance he'll have Stitch make him a new suit from scratch. The blood of anyone he's close to is also tolerated, specifically the Midnight Crew and PI's, but not the Felt or the Inspector's colleagues. To be honest though Stitch is so good at getting leprechaun blood out of clothing at this point it's really hard to tell it was ever there. Overall, a very consistent man. Consistently dressed, consistently irritable and violent, consistently groomed, etc. The picture is pretty clear.
note: Deadeye Detective is also autistic, but tolerates discomfort far better and reacts with less hostility, so much of what applies to Droog applies to him, but pulled back a few notches almost universally. second note: Also it might be more than autism that he has but I only have autism so I'm not speaking outside of that much he just copes with his autism really really intensely. Could be other things too though. would not be surprised
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sokoviansimp · 1 year
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Package au 🥺
In the last fic you said about the habit of sucking her thumb. Maybe you could do something of wanda and Nat trying different things to get her to stop, pacifiers, chewies, ect and end it how you want
Bad Habits
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✒ Pairings: Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff x Child!Reader (platonic)
✒ Summary: Wanda and Nat try different techniques to get you to stop sucking your thumb.
✒ Tags and Warnings: thumb-sucking, stubbornness, fluff
✒ Author's Note: I really appreciate the request! Sorry, it took so long.
✒ Word Count: 1815
✒ Read Time: 9 minutes
Masterlist : The Package AU : Socials
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With all of the trauma that you had gone through thus far, one thing that you clung to like a security blanket was the habit of sucking your thumb. Wanda saw this as it happened but she acknowledged that it was normal for children your age to take part in such a coping mechanism so she didn’t bother interrupting your actions until now. She wanted to give you other ways to draw comfort from so that you wouldn’t become dependent on the action for so long that you can’t break it when you begin to lose your baby teeth. 
Natasha and Wanda brainstormed different strategies to help you break this habit, knowing it was important for her dental health and overall well-being. Their first attempt you could call the gentle approach. Together they agreed that the next time they saw you take part in the action they would try to talk you out of it. 
The opportunity first presented itself to Natasha as she was sitting with you in the common room watching cartoons. She sat next to you, her voice filled with warmth and understanding. "Sweetie, sucking your thumb isn’t healthy.  We can work together to break this bad habit. How about we find a special toy or stuffed animal to cuddle with instead? Whenever you feel the urge to suck your thumb, you can hold onto your new friend."
You nodded, your eyes bright with enthusiasm. Together, you searched for the perfect companion—a fluffy teddy bear named Benny. You clutched Benny close, finding comfort in his soft embrace. Though the thumb-sucking lessened, it still lingered as a deeply ingrained habit.
Sometimes it happened without you even realizing it, and other times, well, you just couldn't help yourself. Whenever Wanda or Nat noticed you sucking your thumb, they gently reminded you to take it out and explained the reasons why it's important to stop. They spoke about how it could affect your teeth and shared stories of other children who successfully stopped thumb-sucking.
“Y/N, detka, come here,” Wanda cooed as she gently took your thumb from your mouth and cuddled you into her side, “Do you remember what Nat told you about sucking your thumb?” 
You nodded, recalling your earlier interaction with Natasha, “Natty say, no good” you answered
Wanda confirmed your answer, “That’s right, what can you do instead of sucking your thumb?” 
You thought long and hard trying to remember what Nat had suggested, “uhm- OH! BENNY!” You exclaimed as you scooted off of the couch and darted over to grab your cuddly stuffed bear and then return to Wanda. She couldn't help but smile at your excitement to substitute Benny for your bad habit. 
Some days it wasn’t that easy though, you preferred sucking your thumb over any substitution that Nat and Wanda offered up. Despite Wanda and Nat's best efforts, there were times when you became particularly stubborn and refused to stop sucking on your thumb. They had tried other things like pacifiers and thumb guards, but eventually they always found you using your thumb instead. 
One evening when Wanda and Nat sat down with you to have a calm conversation about the habit. They explained the reasons why it was important to stop and how it could affect her teeth and oral health as they had before. Their strategy was to help create awareness for you anytime you had fallen back on the habit. Nat had read in a parenting book that increasing the child's awareness of the habit can help them recognize when they do it unconsciously. 
However, instead of listening attentively this time, you crossed your arms and stubbornly shook your head, "No, I no want stop," you declared defiantly with your thumb firmly pressed against the roof of your mouth.
Wanda exchanged a concerned glance with Nat, realizing that their usual techniques might not work this time. They knew they had to approach this situation differently, with a balance of firmness and understanding.
Wanda took a deep breath and knelt down to your level, gently taking both of your hands into her own. "Y/N, we understand that you enjoy sucking your thumb, but it's important for your teeth and overall health that we find a way to stop. We love you so much, and we want to help you grow up strong and healthy."
“NOO, MAMA!” you screeched as you ran away from both Wanda and Nat and headed up the stairs to your room, quickly scurrying under the covers to provide a barrier from eyesight when they inevitably would follow you into the room a few moments later. 
The two women could tell that you were overtired and lashing out because of it. They debated whether the fight was worth it or if they should just let you sleep it off. In the end, they decided to give you time alone to cool off before they trailed upstairs behind you. Gently knocking at the door, they entered the room to find you passed out under the covers in the fetal position with your thumb in your mouth. 
As adorable as they found you, It was time for them to come up with a new plan, instead of making you aware of the bad habit and hoping you would break it purely by recognizing it, or distraction. It was time to turn it into a game. 
During breakfast the next morning, Wanda and Nat brought up your poor behavior the night before. It was important to them that you were aware of when your actions were inappropriate, and instead of scolding or grounding you, they simply spoke to you about it. It was a constructive conversation to help you learn that even though you feel tired, lashing out is not the proper way to handle things. 
Of course, it’s expected at your age and they don’t fault you for it, but they know how smart and well-behaved you are typically. Wanda wanted to start nipping bad behavior in the bud as soon as it showed its face so that it didn’t end up spiraling out of control in the coming months. 
"Y/N, we know change can be hard, and it's okay to feel unsure. But we believe in you, and we know you're capable of breaking this habit. Let's work together to find a solution that makes you feel comfortable." Nat said genuinely as the two of you chomped on pancakes. 
Your expression softened as you looked into the caring eyes of Wanda and Nat. They had always been there for you, supporting you in every step of your journey. Slowly, you let out a sigh and nodded, signaling your willingness to explore alternatives. It’s not that you didn’t want to try for them, in fact, you have been, but bad habits are just so easy to fall back on. 
Throughout breakfast, they explained a new system that they would implement. Wanda and Nat created a special "Thumb-Free" chart for you. Every day that you refrained from thumb-sucking, you would earn a star sticker. Once you collected a certain number of stars, you would receive a small reward or a special outing with Wanda and Nat. There would be different options of rewards that you could choose from and this made you excited for all the possibilities.  Through patience and understanding with you, Wanda and Nat helped you realize that breaking the habit was not about taking something away but instead, about gaining control and embracing new experiences.
In the weeks that followed, there were still moments of resistance, but Wanda and Nat continued to provide unwavering support. They reminded you of your own strength and encouraged you to persevere. With their love and patience, you slowly began to let go of the thumb-sucking habit, replacing it with healthier alternatives and finding comfort in their embrace.
It was a journey that required time, understanding, and a deep bond between the three of you. Through your collective efforts, they overcame your stubbornness and nurtured your growth and independence, reminding you that they would always be there to guide you through life's challenges with love and support.
As Wanda was organizing some books in the living room, she stumbled upon a stack of parenting books on the coffee table. Curiosity piqued, she picked one up and flipped through its pages. The book was filled with insights, advice, and practical tips for co-parenting.
Some of the pages were marked with highlighter and notes were written about your behavior in the margins. She immediately recognized this as Natasha’s handwriting. As Wanda delved deeper into the book, she couldn't help but feel a growing sense of admiration for Natasha. It wasn't just the fact that Natasha cared enough to educate herself on the intricacies of co-parenting, but also the realization that Natasha wanted to be the best guardian she could be for you. 
A smile tugged at the corners of Wanda's lips as she thought about Natasha's dedication and the countless hours she must’ve spent studying those pages. She found it incredibly attractive to see someone so committed to their role as a co-parent, taking the time to understand and navigate the complexities of raising a child. Co-parent. Is that what they were? They hadn’t made it official but they sure were acting the roles. 
In that moment, Wanda's heart swelled with affection for Natasha. She admired her friend's determination, compassion, and unwavering love for you. It made her see Natasha in a whole new light, awakening feelings that had been igniting more and more lately. 
Unable to contain her excitement, Wanda hurriedly made her way to the kitchen, where she found Natasha preparing a snack for you. With a twinkle in her eyes, Wanda held the parenting book behind her back and teased, "Oh Nat, guess what I found?"
Natasha turned, curiosity evident in her eyes. "What is it, Wanda?"
Wanda grinned, her voice filled with affection. "I found these parenting books you've been reading. I had no idea you were so invested in co-parenting Y/N"
Natasha's cheeks flushed, a mix of surprise and sheepishness. "Oh, those... Yeah, I've been trying to gather as much knowledge as possible. I want to make sure we're doing everything we can for her.”
Wanda stepped closer, her gaze unwavering as she spoke slowly, "Natasha, your dedication to Y/N's well-being, your commitment to learning and growing as a co-parent—it's incredibly” attractive. She wanted to say it, but she swerved at the last second, “thoughtful” she blurted out and released eye contact as she internally scolded herself for almost going too far. 
A moment of silence hung in the air as Natasha could tell that wasn’t the word she wanted to say. Figuring that the other word would be something along the lines of teasing, Natasha chose not to pry it out and instead took the compliment with a smile.
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Taglist: @mymommawanda@livslifeonline@reggierizzoli@mythixmagic@lesbicentism@marvelogic@katethewriter @inluvwithfictionalwomen @spooky-reader1 @marvelogic ​@kissforvoid
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zimthandmade · 2 months
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Hello,
I am an art student (art on instagram link in my account, I am too lazy to post on two different platforms), and I love your art style and creativity, you are incredible ✨
I am at that point in my studies where I am getting decent at at least some of the techniques, but struggle using them to give life to my own ideas.
Do you have any advice on character design and environment study? I admire how you manage to give so much personality to your characters just with body language, it’s amazing, I have lots of trouble just managing to make mine look like themselves in two different sketches. Every time I feel like I got it right I lose it the moment after :(.
Where do I start when I want to study for a project, and how do you organise your work?
Thank you for reading, I hope this ask finds you well ❤️
Hi there!! Thanks for reaching out!! <3
Yeah character consistency can be tricky! My go-to strategy for character design is to break them down into their most basic idea. Can be a colour, a shape, a line. Look at this concept art from Inside Out:
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The more complex you go, the more tricky, complicated and hard to get right in different drawings will be. That's not a bad thing but you should always keep the very core idea of a character in mind when designing and drawing. If I may add some of my own things in here:
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I settled for a very angular Mello and in contrast a rather round Matt. In canon, they're both pretty round, so I thought I'd break that up for a more interesting duo dynamic. For me it's also helpful to think of your character as a map with set distances and points of interest. Take Mellos focal points like the beak-y pointy nose and his blocky hair and the rest doesn't matter that much anymore if you only get those features right. I don't know, I'm super bad at explaining, there's a reason why I'm not a teacher :'D
Maybe you could try to draw your character as tiny or as quickly as you can, that also works well for me. Because you absolutely can't get lost in details and have to break them down to what really matters.
When I see complex characters with tons of tattoos and complex scars or wild hairstyles and details that just absolutely don't matter to the overall design, I always think of the poor poor animators that would have to animate that character if they were part of a TV show haha
As for environment study?? Bruh, I'm as lost as you.
Where to start on a project? Anywhere, as long as you start. Sitting in front of a blank paper is the worst thing. Drawing bad is better than not drawing at all. Look at other art, maybe even copy some, trace some, anything that helps you get into the flow.
Organising things is a supreme dicipline. I would say I give my best to stay organised but fail miserably. But I had people tell me I'm insanely organised, so... No idea. Taking the whole Death Note AU thing as one big project, I try to keep things seperated by characters, eras, themes or places, depending on what makes sense and throw all the files in the respective folders but it's getting more cluttered by the minute... What helps me if making overviews, like lineups of characters or something like this:
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Colour chart where I can just pick the colours and not rummage through my files to find a fitting reference for different characters.
Oof that turned longer than I wanted, I hope you can at least find some helpful information out of my rambling :'D
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chevelleneech · 4 months
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Tim..?
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I have never seen Vertigo nor read up on what it’s about, so I can’t form a full opinion on what the storyline will end up being. I can’t even say if I think Tim plans to pull from it in full or put his own spin on it.
What I will say— based on how people are explaining the plot of the movie and how Eddie, Shannon, Kim, and Buck fit each character— I hope Tim is ready for whatever blowback he gets if it goes south. Death threats and things like that are a hard no, but fan complaints should be expected if he is using a movie in which best friends fall in love after an, “I’m seeing me dead flame in another woman” storyline, yet doesn’t equal Buddie being canon.
And I say this, because at some point he’s got to let Buddie go if he doesn’t want to make them canon. At some point, even with Buck being canonically bisexual now, he has to end the anticipation. This storyline might be how he plans to do that, so I’m interested to see how it plays out, but I am nervous for Buddie shippers who are more invested in them going canon than I am. Because if the plot of this movie is what people are saying, why choose it unless the plan is to at the very least, address the age old elephant in the room?
I worry that Tim loves Buck and Eddie’s bond and even ships them, but is also likely to take the approach of keeping Eddie straight because it will ruffle less feathers overall. It’s unfortunately a big risk to have two macho, previously presumed straight characters who have dated and slept with multiple women in canon, discover themselves to be queer and in love. Yes, the backlash for Buck was mild in comparison to what it could have been, but it was still there. So part of me can see why they’d not do it again. Especially with a character from the army.
At the same time, I am also curious about what will happen if Tim does choose to have Buck realize he’s in love with Eddie. It doesn’t have to mean he’ll break up with Tommy, and he’ll have four months (I heard they’re back in the Fall, but idk) to write 8a and hammer out details, but idk. We’ll have to wait and see.
Either way, I sincerely hope this is more or less the end of the “Will They, Won’t They.” regarding Buddie. It’s been five seasons, four of which was on a network that shutdown any altering of lead character sexualities (at least of Buck’s), and now on a new network that green lit Buck being bi, but may not green light Eddie. So I’m sorry, but I think by s8 an answer needs to be clearly stated. No matter what the final answer is.
There are so many other characters who can be getting screen time if we put a nail in the coffin that is Buck and Eddie having romantic based scenes without the romance, lol. Hen and Karen for example, could be getting quite a few, but maybe that’s just me?
And I’m not saying Buck and Eddie shouldn’t have scenes together anymore, but Tim and co. seem to know how to write platonically for Chim and Hen, Maddie and Josh, Buck and Chim, Chim and Bobby, and Athena and Hen, yet somehow they can’t do it for Buck and Eddie? I don’t buy it. It’s been intentionally written in since the start, but never green lit. Now is the time to draw the line, is all I’m saying.
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celestialspecial · 11 months
Text
In Cold Blood (Pt. 2)
Warnings: Dub con, knife play, blood, smut/p in v-do i even need to say its 18+ (also dont do it with serial killers irl....you know this)
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The pounding relentless beat of the club echoed out onto the pavement. The sidewalk under your feet seemed to shake with each new bass drop, lights from the floor to ceiling windows washed along the crowd waiting in line.
You stood single file, all asses and elbows waiting to get to the front velvet ropes. Your nerves were frayed, the last few weeks had been leading you up to this moment. 
Once you had a photo of the killer with his mask it was easier than before to find snippets of him on local cctv camera footage. His steps were more traceable but you still didn’t know his motive. 
The more you learned the less it made sense. 
You'd tracked his wanderings for over a month now, the trail had gone cold but you had it on good authority he'd be here tonight. The Killer, looking for his next victim.
With some intense persuasion your team had allowed you to go under cover and act as bait to draw out the madman. Your skimpy dress and overall look blended you into the background of the crowd waiting in line.
You looked like you deserved to be there. Were meant to be there.
After god knows how long of waiting in line you finally were able to escape the chilly outdoors and feel the intense heat of the ravenous club before you.
Bright lights pooled the dance floor and if you had thought the outside was crowded this was even worse. How anyone managed to dance was beyond you but that wasn't why you were here.
Making your way to the bar in hopes of escaping the intense smells and rhythmic dancing to clear your head. A buzz from your phone got your attention.
One of your colleagues.
"He's there." Your heart beat increased its pace. Eyes darting around the mass of gyrating people but you couldn't see shit. Everyone was moving so erratically, it would be impossible to find him.
After a moments pause you wondered if maybe this was a wash and to call for backup and corner the bastard wherever he was here instead of coercing him to follow you somewhere private where an arrest could be made.
At that your phone buzzed again. What the fuck did they want?
Only this time it was a call. From an unknown number. He was here.
"Hello?"
"Detective. You look mouthwatering tonight." You gulped in response suddenly realizing this might be a bad idea but taking a shot from the bartender strengthened your resolve.
"Do I?"
"Oh yes. Have you come here to arrest me, Detective? Looking like that?"
"Maybe I came here for other things."
A long pause on the other end had you believing he had hung up until you heard a brief inhale on the end of the line.
"Is that so?"
"Will you turn me down?"
This was very dangerous. You were being reckless with your safety but if it drew him out and you had a chance to throw this sucker away for life you'd take it.
"Never."
"Then come get me."
"No... I think you need to find me first. Hasn't that always been your goal? To find me."
You cursed under your breath. Of course he wasn't going to make this easy for you. Why had you been so stupid.
"I don't know if you know this but you picked the most crowded club in the city tonight."
"Don't worry. I'll give you hints. But I can tell you right now you're very cold."
You stepped away from the bar and turned left.
"Warmer."
You considered that when you caught him you'd just kill him and say it had been an accident. And yet a sick and twisted part of you felt a thrill you couldn't explain.
And honestly were afraid to examine further.
Another few twists and turns to the tune of, "Warmer" and "you're getting colder." Lead you to a bustling staircase that took you up to the balcony overlooking the entire club.
Masses of people swarmed around you and at some points it was hard to even hear the phone if he had said anything at all.
You reached a hallway that was suspiciously empty. Lines of velvet padded doors with brass buttons on their exterior beckoned you forward.
“You’re getting warmer, Detective.”
Your hand twitched, trying not to rest on your concealed weapon.
“Warmer.
You'd made it halfway down the hall when you decided this was enough and it was time for backup. Your left heel stuck in place before you were about to turn tail and run.
“You’re burning up.” 
 A large hand snaked around your waist pulling you away from the door you had been looking at wearily. Then it all went black.
You came to, eyes blearily blinking in the low light. A deep red hue filled the room, curtains of lush fabric draped the ceiling, hanging askew and clinging to matching red sofas.
A black crystal chandelier hung above your head. The pounding of the music from the club could still be heard, the bass vibrating the surface you were on. 
Stuck on. No, strapped to.
You wiggled your wrists realizing they were handcuffed to the table beneath your body. Your senses started to come to you faster as your breathing increased with each panicked heartbeat.
Your ankles were tied down as well, a chain clanging against the surface. The sound blunted by the space. 
“Help!” You shouted, screaming as loud as you could. “Somebody?! Anybody!”
“They can’t hear you.” That voice. You’d heard it before. So many times before, but this time it wasn’t distorted by a device. No scrambling or altered sound. Deep, even more attractive than you’d thought.
If you didn’t know better you’d say it was almost warm, inviting. Like a lamb to slaughter, that’s how you felt. A wolf in sheep’s clothing and you were falling for it.
It was nearly impossible to lift your head fully to look upon your captor. Out of the shadows in the corner stood a man, tall, lean, leather jacket scuffed and torn and the mask. You recognized that.
He toyed with a large silver knife, pressing the point into the pad of his thumb, mask downturned as he examined the large weapon before you.
Turning back to look at you he traced the knife along the padded velvet walls. Cocking his head towards them as he approached where you lay.
“These walls are solid thick. The padding also helps block out the noise.” You couldn’t see his face but his eyes…they were black and they caught the red light just right and they almost-glimmered. 
When he spoke next you could hear the smirk on his lips. 
“Perfect place for screaming…of all kinds.” Your eyes closed, brows drawn together, a shaky rasp escaping your lips.
“You’re going to kill me.”
His head tilted to the side, taking you in, probably in more ways than you realized. Moving closer to you, the glimmering buck knife scraping against the wood of the table. You could feel your pulse racing in your neck, knees wobbling.
Once he’d approached your side, cracked white mask looking over you he lifted the glinting blade. You watched with wide eyes as the edge came down as he drew lines over your exposed flesh.
“Now why would I do that?” Cool metal bit into the side of your thigh, not enough to draw blood but enough to have you gasp at the pressure. His bottomless eyes darted to your face at the sound.
You didn’t need to see his face to know he was smiling. Captivated by you writhing on the table before him. Setting the knife down to rest on the center of your torso the man before you removed one of his gloves.
Flesh met flesh as he placed his large hand on your inner thigh, the rough pads of his fingers pressing into your heated skin. His skin felt warm against your leg, you’d waited for it to feel cold, clammy but it was neither of those things.
“I’ve watched you for so long, Detective. Been wanting to feel how soft your skin is for far too long.” 
You wanted to fight it but you couldn’t help your poor body giving in to his caresses. Each stroke against your knee, shin, then moving back up to rest so close to your center. 
You tasted blood from how hard you’d bit your lower lip. Dying to not moan, to not let him know you were enjoying this. But he knew. Dammit he knew. 
“You knew I’d take the bait. And I did. Because you KNOW me. And I know you.” 
“You don’t know me.” You spit out, you tugged against your constraints to drive home your point. 
“I know you’re enjoying this.” 
“And how do you figure that?” 
“Because I am.” Fuck him. That’s all you could think. All you wanted but didn’t dare admit. He was a psycho…and maybe you were too for wanting him this badly. 
He retrieved his knife, this time letting it settle between your thighs, the tip catching on the string of your underwear. You could feel the blade against your skin and you did your best to breathe in shallow gulps.
His wrist flicked and what little pathetic swatch of fabric you’d had on under your dress was done for. An elastic snapping noise, a sting as it smacked against your skin and then he moved back a foot.
Pulling with him the knife and your underwear torn and tattered stuck to the tip of the blade. He held up the weapon and its new bundle of fabric to examine it, fingering the underwear with his free hand.
“Detective. These appear to be wet.” 
If you’d had your gun you would’ve shot him. Or you’d like to think you would in this moment. Anything to get out of this situation. Scorching heat seared across your face, you could feel it beading up on the back of your neck as well.
He leaned forward, bracing his hands against the table, fingers brushing against your sides in the process. 
“Care to explain?” His head gestured to the sad excuse for underwear left. 
“Fuck you!”
“Soon, but not yet.” His gloveless hand resumed its place on your inner thigh but this time his fingers dared higher. You could feel him part you and drag a long finger up your center, dipping in before pulling his hand back to inspect.
You wanted to cross your legs, anything to prevent you from wanting more. The noises that had scratched at the back of your throat  as you felt him briefly inside you, were scrambling to escape. 
His fingers were coated in your wetness, masked face exploring your own, gauging your reaction. Then he slipped those same fingers under his mask, a sucking noise could be heard and his eyes rolled back.
“You taste just as I imagined.” Your eyes met his, instead of looking away you kept your focus. Challenging him. He wanted to play games, so could you. 
Maybe he was right, maybe you two did have some connection because as your eyes remained locked with his you could feel the static energy in the room shift around you. 
“What else have you imagined?” 
The hand of his that held the knife lifted again, the lip of the blade coaxing under the hem of your dress. The tip poking through the satin fabric, slicing as it moved upwards. 
Cool air rushed over your heated skin, the fabric falling away. You carefully watched the knife as it made its way across your stomach, towards your chest and finally reaching your neckline.
The stitches popping as the dress shredded away, two useless swath's of fabric toppling to the floor. Exposing your remaining lingerie that you had carefully selected for the night, something that would fit nicely under your dress.
He let out a low whistle from under his mask. Taking the knife and quirking it underneath a loose bow on your black lace bustier. Untying the ribbon as he twisted the knife expertly.
“Detective. Is this all for me?” 
“Untie me and find out.” At that he chuckled, plucking another seam with the blades tip.
“You’re very clever, but not that clever.” 
He tapped your cheek with the flat side of his knife, wiggling his finger in a childlike admonishment as he moved to the end of the table. Standing between your legs that were still strapped down.
You watched as he slipped the knife into his back pocket, removing his other glove somewhere in the process. 
The way he watched you as he moved. Those depthless eyes examining every inch of your body. How they shone a little brighter as his gaze landed on your exposed lower half.
He lowered himself onto his elbows but not before clutching your hips and tugging you further down the table towards him. You grunted at the tightness overwhelming your bound wrists, scraping against the metal handcuffs.
Then you felt his mouth against you. Crying out at the feel of his lips sucking against you. Lapping up your juices and teasing the sensitive flesh there. 
Your eyes squeezed shut, panting, then moaning. His evil mouth coaxing every new noise from your body. Trying to look down and see him but the mask sat on top of his head still blocking your view.
That tightness and aching sensation started to gather in your center, feeling yourself getting close to the edge. Your moans grew louder, sparks flared behind your eyes and then with an extra savory sucking sensation you were tumbling over the edge.
You screamed, pulling against your handcuffs, hips lifting off the table to meet his mouth more readily and from the way the floor and walls pulsed and pounded around you, you knew he was right.
No one could hear you.
The ecstasy washed through you, draining your remaining fight down to nothing. You didn’t even notice that he had stood up and knelt by where your head rested.
“Next time scream my name.” 
“That’s a little hard since I don’t know it.” You managed through gasps of air.
You could feel him moving beside you before you turned to come face to face with that taunting white mask. You instead focused on his eyes beneath the plastic exterior.
Every nerve ending came alive as you watched his large hands coming up and unclasping the fasten behind his mask. The cold façade fell away and you felt pin pricks of both dread and wonder overtake you.
The masked killer-unmasked.
And remarkably, if not tragically, handsome beyond your comprehension.
Those same dark eyes that gobbled up any light in the room, curtained by long strands of dark hair. Mussed from the mask, and his previous explorations of your body.
A small mole rested under one eye, well shaped nose and perfectly carved smile adorned by pink lips. His jaw was severe but softened by the rest of his features when he smiled.
It set your whole being on edge. Looking at him, the man you'd been talking to for months. Who'd been taunting you at every turn.
Who'd killed people.
"Do you prefer the mask, Detective?"
You swallowed thickly at the insinuated repercussions of having seen his face. Knowing you could pick him out of a lineup easily. You'd never be able to forget that face.
Terminally Handsome.
He smirked at you, as if reading your thoughts. Grip tightening on the knife and drawing it in lazy circles and arcs over your skin once more.
Pressing deeply just under your ribcage, a rivulet of blood being drawn to the surface as you sucked in a ragged gasp.
The pain mixed with excitement as you felt yourself dampen again just watching him.
"Let's remove this, shall we?" He nodded to your bustier that was beginning to feel very tight and hot against your body.
You felt the blade slip under the center point where it laced up corset style and watched as each ribbon gave way to the sharpened metal slicing its way upwards.
You felt like your chest could finally expand and take in oxygen once he reached forward tearing the offending fabric away from you. It even took your hazy brain to register that now you lay completely exposed to the monster before you.
Monster...or man. You couldn't decide at the moment.
The blade tip circled one nipple then the other, your body betrayed you in every sense of the word as you groaned at the cool sensation. The tight bud responding eagerly to his ministrations.
There was no mask hiding his expressions now. Amusement and darkening shadows of lust.
"I can tell you're enjoying this as much as me." He leaned in close and whispered, licking the shell of your ear. Then placing a heated kiss to your neck before working his way downard.
Taking your nipple into his hot mouth and sucking enough for your eyes to roll back and hips rise up in need. He then turned his attention to the other breast. Tongue stroking you as you felt the knife pressed to the other side keeping you in place.
"Please." You wanted to cringe away from how helpless you felt as the word escaped your lips. Not helpless asking to be let go, but helpless-begging for more.
At that the gorgeous man above you's eyes rose to catch your powerless gaze. You knew this entire time, for months, you'd never been the one in charge. It had always been him. And you fell for it- hook, line and sinker.
"Billy."
"How do I know that's not a fake name?" You ventured, crying out when his mouth tortured you again.
"Does it matter?" No. Nothing mattered at this moment. Your world had shrunk and it was just you and him. You and Billy.
"No. It doesn't." He seemed to like that. Continuing his assault on your body until you couldn't tell where your body ended and his began.
Dizzy from pleasure and wanting, no, needing more. You could feel his arousal pressed into your thigh as he hovered over you kissing and marking up your shoulder.
"Billy I-"
"Shhhhh." The cool press of the blade against your lips. "I know."
And damn him, he did. You couldn't control how your body reacted as you watched him slowly unbuckle his belt, black pants dropping to the floor around his ankles.
His pupils blown wide, moving towards you, no longer a man. A killer stalking his prey. He moved in near silence until he was hovering over you.
His lips were on yours again, demanding, controlling, guiding every movement and you followed him like a lost puppy. Biting his bottom lip before he could pull away, drawing a drop of blood to fall between you two.
He pulled back, fingers tentatively touching the small wound. The look he gave you next was feral. No humanity left in it. Only terrible delight and amusement.
You felt him pressing at your entrance, hot and hard. Your knees fell apart further and you heard him chuckle into your chest as he drove home.
It was truly criminal how good it felt, how right it felt. You were turned on and disgusted by yourself all at once, but soon that little voice telling you to hold back was drowned out by each push of his hips against yours.
You wanted to hold onto him, to run your fingers through his hair to claw at his back but all your wrists could do was press against the metal holding you back. Bruises rubbing into your skin.
He struck something deep inside you and you muffled a cry into his shoulder. Building higher and higher, soaring above you body with each movement.
You could feel him getting closer too, a shift of his hips catching just the right angle and your toes curled.
"Scream for me, Detective. Like you've been wanting to all these months."
His pace picked up, Billy groaning and the sounds of your bodies coming together again and again and again.
Your body couldn't take it anymore, fucked into oblivion. Your body clenched then released, fireworks filling your vision and spikes of pleasure drove through ever cell of your body.
"Billy!" You screamed as loud as you could, the clanging of your wrists and feet fighting their confines as your back arched into him.
At the sound of you coming again he drove in deeper than he had before and followed you over the precipice. Groaning loud as his fingers dug into your hips.
He whispered your name into your ear as he came, punctuating it with a final crush of hip hips against yours. The sound of your full name on his lips made your head hazy.
You felt a sharp prick on your side and the room around you began to swim. You could feel his fingers caressing the side of your face.
"This has been very nice Detective. I look forward to doing it again sometime." He placed a passionate kiss to your lips before giving you a soft almost tender kiss to your forehead. "Sweet Dreams." Then the room went dark.
You didn't know how long it'd been but you blinked eyes squinting at the bright light overhead. You were in a hospital, sounds of people milling about made you turn your head to the side.
"Detective!" On of your colleagues exclaimed, jumping up from her seat. " You're awake!"
"What happened?"
"We found you in the club...Tied to a table. But wearing different clothing than you'd been wearing before going inside." she gulped. "We saw the torn fragments of dress though."
So he'd been a gentleman and dressed you before leaving.
"Have you found him?" Her eyes fell to her clasped hands before shaking her head.
"No not yet but we will." Her phone beeped and she gave a baleful smile before pausing to walk out and take the call.
When you turned over onto your other side on the side table you noticed a large bouquet of flowers. A note placed in the center with a heart drawn on it.
You scrambled to open the card.
"Thank you for the amazing night, Detective. Until next time."
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dominicdelagol2 · 22 days
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Planning to try out Auctober again this October! Feel free to join in and draw for each prompt! List of prompts and their context below:
1: Red Instead - Instead of the blue puzzle piece as displayed by Autism $peaks, we light it up red instead!
2: Special Interests - Anything you love the most in your life!
3: Music - Music is always nice to listen to, especially video game music!
4: Comfort Food - Food is yummy. Fast food is even yummier because why wouldn't it be?
5: Stim / Verbal Stims - Stims include making mouth noises and waving your arms back and forth for comfort!
6: Stim Toys - Fidget cubes, spinners, squeezable toys, etc. -- they can be fun to use!
7: Sensory Euphoria - Some things can make you most happy, whether it's eating chicken with queso dip, seeing a light-filed city during night time, store candles with a good food-like smell, you name it!
8: Hyperfixation - One particular thing you're focused on so much! It can be the periodic table, a video game series, painting, anything you can think of!
9: Info Dumping - Wanna know what one thing is? Then you'll wanna be ready for a detailed explanation going at least 200-pages long!
10: Neurotypical Expectations - Neurotypicals expect an awful lot from autistic people. For all we know, some random guy might expect you to know how to build an aircraft carrier! Of course, that's just me haha
11: Jobs...? Where? - Obviously, there are TONS of open jobs available, but whatever jobs ARE open, workers and its managers expect you to work, and work, and work, and work, and work, and work...without considering your overall health at all, nor giving you a long-enough break to help you catch your breath physically and mentally.
12: The Outside World - Outside is scary. No matter how safe you are, there's a tiny chance something bad or worse will happen. Society can even expect you to be "normal".
13: Social Anxiety - It's hard enough making friends, let alone be an extrovert. Chances are, one could have sociophobia!
14: Self-Advocacy - Nothing about us without us! Seriously, neurotypical adults have talked about autism and didn't include autistics in the conversation. (got that from one of my Auctober 2023 drawings)
15: Self-Care - Self-care is important! Make sure to brush your teeth, eat and drink healthy, exercise and whatnot!
16: LGBTQIA+ - Autistic people are more likely to be LGBTQIA+!
17: Rainbow Infinity - Rainbows are a whole spectrum of colors! Same with the autistic spectrum--all sorts of different experiences!
18: Au-DHD - ADHD, but "A" is replaced with "Au" as in aurum, which is Gold in Latin. ADHD can mean one is hyperactive!
19: Too Much Energy - The energy builds up too fast and you just have to exercise to tone it down! Of course, the energy could vary, sometimes being suddenly energetic when you just need to sleep.
20: Out-of-Nowhere Info/Fact - Say you're doing a simple job like vacuuming. All you have to do is move the vacuum on the floor as you hold the handle, thus cleaning the floor. Simple, yes? Well, surprise -- some guy sucker punches you with random information such as "Hey buddy! Vacuums use more electricity when you turn the vacuum on and off rather than letting it stay on!" (I've actually been told that one time, and the info sounding unconfirmed to me, it just left me in a long mental stasis of confusion) Like, when did anyone ask for a detailed fact about something that's SUPPOSED TO BE SIMPLE? I don't have time to comprehend an entire page of info, I just like to keep things SIMPLE as you neurotypicals tell me to my face.
21: School Experience - Experience can include elementary school, middle school, high school, college -- You can explain a particular event or two during any of these time periods!
22: Routine - A little something every day or now and then to stay consistent! Daily tasks can included 3 meals a day, staying productive or such!
23: Unmasking - Unmasking is not easy. Defending yourself from the unpredictable world, trying to blend in with society -- it's exhausting! Let the autistic community just be what they wish to be already.
24: Autistic Viewpoint - How do you view the world as an autistic?
25: America (Derogatory) - This one might not need an introduction -- America, the "Land of the Free" and the "Land of Opportunities", sure likes to screw us all over! Police are too paranoid, justice is a load of baloney, daily gun violence anywhere and everywhere, dangerous bigots normalizing the R-slur, then you have big and popular figures here smearing the autistic community into a negative light...and the list of bad things never stops growing! A very cruel country, like not even cartoon villains are this mean-spirited! How is the autistic community supposed to exist in peace when the USA is basically nothing but trouble? Happy 4th of July, I guess...
26: Comfort Media/Games - A TV show or video game is always nice to play and keep calm when times get tough out there!
27: Fancy Wording - A series of five-dollar words can arrive rather than a simple "yes" or "not" to suffice. Sometimes, fancy words such as Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis can be fun to learn about!
28: Gold - Gold is part of the periodic table, atomic number 79! Light it up gold instead of blue for Autism Acceptance! 'Au' as in Aurum, and autism!
29: Neurodivergent Community - There's all sorts of Neurodivergent people worth seeing! They all have different experiences!
30: Autistic Pride - Autistic and proud!
31: FREE SPACE -- Explain any topic you wish!
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vampstel · 4 months
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Okay, I’m just gonna rip the bandage off. Here’s a long post I wrote a while ago after seeing a comic about someone’s experiences with asexuality.
This is a vent/rant so beware!! Warning for suggestive stuff since you know, this is sexuality talk :P
I’ve been openly asexual for a pretty long time now. It’s not something I talk about very often; I tend to just say it in passing and move on since I get this indescribable “ick” feeling due to the acephobia I’ve received in the past (and because I’ve been sexualized against my own will in the past as well).
I’m trying my best to get rid of that “ick” feeling but after recent events, I feel like I’ve gone back to square one. AKA: I feel humiliated about my sexuality and think it’s invalid.
I’m aceflux, meaning my asexuality can fluctuate but not by much. I may be demiromantic as well but I’m still unsure of that.
Personally, I usually feel very apathetic when it comes to sensual things. Sometimes, that apathy can turn into repulsion; Very extreme repulsion that can make me nauseous. Overall, I just don’t feel sexual attraction and when I do, it’s very minor and at some points… I wouldn’t even consider it sexual attraction? Hell, I don’t even understand what sexual attraction is and why/what people generally find sexually gratifying. Sexual shit flies over my head all the time unless it’s 100% obvious in my eyes.
But anyway… I’m a very aesthetic heavy guy, you could say. It’s really hard to describe it but when I see people, specifically men, I feel attracted to them in a tertiary sense. I like the concept of affection. The thought of being in a close relationship makes me happy. I find men pleasing to the eye and just have a connection with them that can’t be explained. It’s not exactly romantic, nor is it exactly sexual or even platonic. It’s like a secret 4th thing, basically.
That’s all fine and dandy. I’ve accepted that part of my sexuality but what I’ve been very miffed about is openly and unabashedly expressing my attraction (or whatever it is) with men in my art. Which hasn’t happened in years. I’ve been proud of being gay but recently I just feel… Unsafe?
As you know, I draw men a lot. Usually gender nonconforming men, femboys, and muscular men. I sometimes draw art that can be suggestive due to the clothes being revealing, but I do not get sexual gratification from it and it distresses me immensely when people say I do. Hence why I freaked the fuck out about the uh… incident on Twitter that shall not be named.
I know I said I’m fine. That I’ve moved past the whole “people thinking I’m addicted to porn” thing and I have. I think?— After all, it doesn’t make me upset anymore remembering it. However, I won’t deny that the situation has reopened some wounds that’ll take a long time to heal again which sucks.
I’m the problem here, not any other external source. At least right now 💀
I just keep feeling invalid about who I am. Sometimes, I find myself drawing art I like (and think is tame) and suddenly think “…Maybe this is too much. This is fetishizing.” or “I should probably scrape this completely. It might be sexual since I drew a beefy guy in a dress.”
And since I’m blind to sexual and even suggestive things, I get confused and upset. What am I allowed to depict in my art that makes people understand I’m not a faker or have a ‘broken sexuality’? How do I become the “ideal depiction of an asexual guy” that’ll appease myself and the internet? Do I show my character’s skin? Do I hide their assets and make them less curvy or muscular?
And what labels or jokes am I allowed to say that won’t have me or anyone else thinking “Oh yeah this guy’s a fucking freak and should be deplatformed”?
I don’t care what people think of me, usually. I don’t care if people hate me. But nowadays I feel unsafe even in the safe spaces I’ve made for myself and that’s what hurts.
I know and accept that there will always be people who think I’m a freak. There will always be people who think I’m not actually asexual and I’m just saying that to get away with making mildly suggestive content. But the issue is, I’m starting to think I’m a freak by proxy and since I’m repulsed about anything sexual, I’m becoming repulsed about myself and my work.
It’s taken years for me to get comfortable with my unordinary attraction to men. It’s taken even longer for me to get used to the basic parts of the human body and showing off skin IRL and in art without feeling nauseous. And now it feels like I’m trying to get all that progress back again. Just because my dumb brain thinks I’m “broken” after being harassed online a month or so ago.
I could write so much more but this is so long already. I think I may as well just make this topic a special rant video for Pride month. I’m not sure though.
I don’t know how to end this post, especially on a positive note, but just know that I’m trying real hard to get back to being unabashedly me.
I’m probably going to exercise using the labels I use more often to get more accustomed to them without anyone (myself included) thinking “he’s a weirdo!!”. I’m also just gonna up the gender nonconformity themes in my art as well. Shit’s been rough but I’m still hanging and coping with the help of my OCs :3
If you’re asexual, or just struggling with accepting yourself in general. Just know you’re valid. You’re cool. I know that’s a stereotypical thing to say but I mean it. Don’t let your stupid head think you’re a freak. Don’t be like me, is what I’m saying LOL
It’s bad and unhealthy. It’s easier said than done but so long as you slowly build up self acceptance, you’re doing great. And you shouldn’t let people tear you down.
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2036sator · 5 months
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hiiii :3 what r ur opinions on the characters in the cgvl and lha? Character wise, design wise, etc... (including freedom guy 🤭) I'm just really curious :3
[[ AA dude i’m gonna go so in depth w/ this !!!! this is personally from what I recently discovered from these characters so , i am kinda new to LHA and CGVL ,, not freedom guy tho lolol ]]
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[[ Let’s start with LHA ^_^ ]]
> FREEDOM GUY - design wise … absolutely cool i can’t really explain how much i enjoy doodling him no matter what design he has , always loved the old design !! Red scarf is iconic to him and made him stand out even if its a bit plain… but other than the old design, new design kitt recently has made im ssooooooo inlove with how he became so …. HE LOOKS SASSY AT ONE POINT LOOOKING AT HIM FOR HOURS . his old design with his iconic hands on his hips pose already made me think he was all shiny sassy star that everyone praises of lllolololol 7_7 character wise by personality is great overall , he’s a code yet he is so , humane that being the therapist plus saviour is tiring even for a code sobbbb ilove gushing about freedom guy if u can’t tell
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> FROST - design wise ? Love it . I would say that I love drawing Frost as well as much as I love to draw Freedom Guy :3 Character wise … very kewl…. I need to see more of frost stuff ………
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> TANGERINE - DESIGN WISE AAHHHH OHMYGOD I have something for orange sticks idk why but she looks so cool i never actually noticed she even had like scars until i went thru deep into the LHA bloggers just to noticed she has like two or three scars like WHAT !!! Character wise , If she went to my school I would wanna be her friend tbh she seems fun to be around ^_^
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> CION - Design wise is just… chefs kiss , I love drawing her marble head and drawing her in my design where she has like kind of maybe water ish? Or fire ish blob around it just bc I can’t see her with hair so instead I just made blobs that made to look like she has hair el o el ,,,overallll!! Super cool I love cloaks … Character wise is yes , just yes . Ilove the looks can be deceived like how Cion and Tangerine is the same just different fonts
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> LUCKY - hhhahah lucky block…. I made Lucky’s head more not circular bc srsly I would totally believe lucky if xe told me xe was birthed from a lucky block. So it’s more geometrical? Character wise ilove xem ilove hackers and I don’t know much of Lucky ,,,still xe’s super cool either way
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== WOOOOO CGVL IS NEXT ==
> SCRIBBLES - from what ive seen im surprised this is actually and technically the leader of cgvl and its just , a little scribble stick ( in a positive way not insulting ) , probably my favourite... ( i cant decide with scribs and rose ) ,,, character wise!!! ive seen a little bit of scribbles story and im cheering so hard scribs is so cool and with the programmer lore and everything going on is super interesting and all overall really cool character , easy to doodle when im bored in school
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> VIX - oh jeez . can we get vix neutered . / LIGHTHEARTED JOKE ... Unique creature , i love the head design even though it sometimes confuses me when i try to doodle the back of vix :9 ., character wise .. freaky .... you a freak girl!!! also!!! I LOVE cannibal characters when they're all actually attached to a person then they soemtimes can't get over the thought of eating them ( filling them with guilt ) i love when cannibals feel bad for what they are ( technically its a parasite for vix's case but still!!! )
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>ROSE - ohhhhhhhhh i almost tripped when i saw rose , pink characters save me ... shes so pretty by the design wise category .. made me jealous of her gender smhhhh.... character wise , mischievous thief and i would let her steal my whole house if she wanted to
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> GEO - i wanna squeeze geo but i cant :( character wise by what ive seen from like interactions(?) and lore , its really interesting and really cool ( reminds me of another interest i have but who cares ) still i understand how frost would baby geo
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> ENTI & BUG ( NO IMAGE NOOOOOO MY LIMIT NOOOOOO ) - big guys so cool they would absolutely obliterate me . i dont know them much but i wanna know more about them .... i need itt...
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