#I know someone out there knows what I’m talking abt
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I’m ganna crash out. I had this one fic abt suguru n satoru and like so im ganna rant
Like reader n satoru used to be like fuck buddies back in college right but after a while like reader goes abroad or something and suguru n satoru end up together and are in a good healthy relationship yada yada and reader is coming back from abroad and satoru like offers for her to stay with him n sugu while she finds herself a job and place to live. Suguru obvi is reluctant abt the idea but ends up saying yes and then boom yes it was only like two chapters but I loved every word said in those chapters
pls I need to find this even if it was left on a cliffhanger in the dust to be forgotten 😕
#˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚#satosugu#ao3 fic#pls help#I know someone out there knows what I’m talking abt#Zpleade#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#it was so good#and I love that plot sm bro yall don’t UNDERSTANDDDDD#IM GANNA CRASH OUT#😣😣😣#x reader fic#I loved the plot#I saw what she was thinking#it was so good bro u have to help meee#Jjk fic#gojo satoru#ao3#gulp#sigh#jjk#ngh
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hi not to eternal bloodlines-post again but it’s kind of insane to me that one of the creators is quoted as saying that saskia and eve’s team-up is a “not a friendship, just a partnership of necessity” when both versions of the maze end with the latter dragging the former’s body presumably across several european countries from romania to amsterdam so that she can be properly entombed with her family
#txt#seems like a lot of effort for someone you’re only partnered with Out Of Necessity#sorry that i’m autistic about this story and that my eyes can see wlw cathedrals that yours can’t. if you even care.#also not for nothing but eve explicitly calls saskia friend in the hollywood versions#and is implied to be standing guard over her body at the end#So What Is The Truth.#also sorry i know i should say the bride of frankenstein when i’m talking abt eve. but i won’t. she’s eve to me.
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In retrospect I apologize for the lack of a “at least daily for sure” answer
#irl death#as a blacklist tag#obviously no one is actually dying#I DO NOT INTEND TO DIE ANY TIME SOON#personally I latched onto ‘what if that’s the last interaction you have with each other’ VERY literally a while back#and also have spent enough time thinking abt it that I’m like. what would happen to my finances?#would everyone be ok if something happened?#how would online friends find out? is everything in place for that? I don’t think I have any friends that no one knows how to contact?#and lastly what if someone unlocks my computer/phone? what websites are open?#what would people decide to do with my unpublished poetry and writing?#what happens to my childhood teddy bear?#yknow there’s ingredients here. having once spent a span of time being actively suicidal: now that I am not; I remain aware of what needs to#be thought about!#and then also my best friend’s dad died last year and I lived with her while she was in charge of his will and finances and everything#hi my loved ones I hope this didn’t suck to read#it’s? one of those feelings I like talking about? I like talking about quite personal stuff sometimes#yeah
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it’s a good thing just puddings is funny otherwise we’d have to generally acknowledge that it’s exactly one step removed from kink content and no further. but the bit works well enough that we can close our eyes to that possibility. unless you’re into it in which case congratulations on your good luck
#i am not saying they were making kink content. i am just saying that knowing what i do it is sort of hard not to see it#anyway!!!#i haven’t like. gone out of my way to make posts abt comedians and sex lately it’s just sort of the state of reality#i’m really tired guys. like really tired#rewatching the lockdown one . they make me so happy is the thing#can someone make a compilation of repertoire but only the bits where were pretty sure it’s james’ friends laughing. for me :)#ted talks#james acaster#ed gamble
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ok so man that i hooked up w like 2 weeks ago that i wanted to see for like dates: cancelled. i’m bored of him 😭😭😭
#stream#ALKSALKSALKSLAKSLAKSLA#like ok#he needs to let me know like EARLIER than 30 MINUTES BEFORE to see me#& u need to not have like#an hour SHARP to leave like i need more than an hour IF IM HOSTING !!!!! like i want ATTENTION after#+ i would’ve cleaned everything like an insane person#‘like an insane person’ u mean ‘bc ur an insane person’#anyway#i haven’t showered in days bc i’ve been compulsively cleaning until im so exhausted that i just pass out#like literally everyday#but i mean there’s no reason for me to leave the house bc u gotta clean & then i can’t have anyone HERE bc i got SHIT TO CLEAN so they don’t#DIE FROM ILLNESS & DISGUST & MY DIRT (a quarter of a piece of a small leaf that was tracked in at the door)#ALSKALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSL but ok what’s so fucking funny is that IF SOMEONE ELSE says like ‘i’m coming over at 5’ & it’s like ‘10a’ i will#LITERALLY get everything done so fucking quick like i will be SONIC & then im right there ready to go like :D#ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLA but if ive to do it for ME irs like wow this is agony im going to die i should kill myself bc ur such a wreck stupid#anyway maybe i should talk to the therapist abt this bc it does Not Seem to Be Healthy#so he will be like ‘we’re going for about 2 tomorrow :)’ at like 1p that day & i agree then he doesn’t message me until like 1 saying ‘i’ll#be free in an hour x’ like#like i sent questions to him like ‘so what do u think abt xyz’ would u do xyz like gaming or whatever u know then he answers them the whole#next day idk it’s like ur literally expecting me to drop everything to suck ur dick for 30 mins & that’s just#it ain’t it#like ALSKALSKLAKSALSLAKSLAKAS at this point i’m just going to block him next time he does that 😭😭😭#probably never going to see him again i’ve never seen him since the first time#literally i was like ‘hey i’ll be free …’ for like 1.5week & then just gave up on that bc he never was or wouldn’t respond until late like#girl …. this is BORING ur DULL u don’t even DO ANYTHING as far as i KNOW 😭😭😭😭 he’s always like ‘at work :)’ ‘watching tv :)’ ‘cooking :)’#that’s it#like …. ok
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twt if i see one more “zhongli and tighnari’s eng vas are zionists don’t support them” tweet i’m deleting the app
#keith is jewish.#zach is also jewish.#my family don’t know abt this blog so i can speak a little more openly#not all jews are zionists.#yes many israelis are jewish.#but NOT ALL JEWS ARE ZIONISTS.#must we pin this to our forehead.#is there an automatic assumption that jewish = zionist?#“you must support israel you liked one or two twts and avoided talking about it”#jewish families are close knit and aren’t fond of differing opinions#my family watch my social media to literally make sure i’m abiding#i can’t speak out publicly about palestine for that literal reason#it would endanger me if i did.#have people ever considered that it’s simply not safe for people for some people to openly change their ways their friend groups etc#i had this discussion about zach with someone but he could lose family and friends and perhaps a large majority of the support in his life#it will never compare to what palestinians are losing. don’t even attack me for that#but whatever. i guess i’m just tired of the jewish = zionist shit#that anon ask i received really hit me hard calling me slurs for not speaking out publicly and reblogging stuff#i can’t speak on behalf of zach nor keith. but i’m not gonna stop supporting them w/o very good evidence#this is so risky to post lmao i��m just so done#watch me delete this when my anger settles#i literally never open twt but when i do theres always some bullshit
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i get closer n closer to becoming a car mechanic every time im in the car w my dad lmao
#he explained how manual cars worked and i have never understood something so much until now#all the info clicking and im like ohhh so thats Cars#also brought up to both my parents i’m planning on taking an msf course (i have to figure out how the fuck to get there.) n they were both#like yeah. ok. Dangerous but u Would say that#looping my dad into being ok with it bcoz i started talking abt manual cars n then what i know abt motorcycles lmaaoo IM WINNING!!!!!#now i need someone very reliable to take me to these damn courses#.jrnl#glad we’re past my childhood neighborhood dying in a moto accident!#its fucked up how much influence my white trash neighbors (i say w love) had over me.. the monster fox moto logo combo is ripping out of me#while on a bike trail today i saw some dude double wielding his fishing rods and a skateboard and it changed me#sigh… my hometown is so beautiful they built a new park#btw diabolical how many left turns i was forced to take on a bike ive never used before AND my dad fucking left me in the dust#anyways. home visit thumbs up!
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i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?
can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit
#vaugepostimg on main about an irl don’t mind me#i just. am feeling sad bcus i have been trying to keep my distance and respect the space they said they needed. and then they reached out to#me for their book club and said we should chat and i got excited! i miss my friend of course i got excited#still let them take the lead. i want them to be comfortable. they said they’d lmk what day they were free#and then proceeded to ghost me for like. almost two weeks??#(it was 10 days but !!! still!!! almost 2 weeks from them suggesting i come to book club which would’ve inherently necessitated an irl talk#and then after all that yesterday said they actually weren’t ready which. hurted#tbf i knew something was up after like 2 days of them not replying so it’s not like i was fully caught off guard it just really hurt#and like i feel weird bcus our social circles are really overlapped and i spent a lot of time with them last winter and i had thought#that would happen again this winter. we would swim together a lot and i consistently went to their house dinners#bcus if i care about you i show up! and i’m understanding ! bcus i am patient and kind person and as a triple taurus i’m not tryna rush ever#especially when it comes to people’s emotions ??? especially if someone has told me i hurt them???? like ik im an autistic lesbian but#despite popular conceptions on that particular identity. im not fucking evil ????? if you ask for space i will give you space !!!!!#and like when it comes to emotions and conflict i’m blunt but i’m caring and it takes a lot for me to be disinfranchised by people#or relationships. so i’m not saying i don’t want to still be her friend#i’m just. noticing behaviors#they did tell me that they were very avoidant in conflict and i told them i’m very much not and like. now that i’m on the receiving end of i#idk what to do!! i’m not gonna chase her down like they’re grown!! and again!!! if you ask for space i’m going to respect that!!!#and like honestly. i’m happy she at least gave me the curtesy of saying they weren’t ready to talk even if it took her mad long to do it#so like. who tf knows when we’ll talk. if ever. probably when she wants the validation of our friendship if it even happens at all#bcus again. she reached out not to reconnect and clear the air but to check if i still wanted to come to her club she was starting#ik in earlier conversations she was worried no one would come but ig she found people. which like good for her tbh but to be honest i feel#discarded?? i’m feeling like i’m failing to not project too much so i gotta stop but idk man i’m just feeling weird about it all#and then i had the thought today of like. is this what i want in a friendship? someone who goes back and forth abt whether or not i’m worth#which again. kinda wasn’t expecting that bcus we spent so much time together last autumn/winter/spring like. many times per week!!!#so the idea of not being her friend all of a sudden?? feels fucjing weird to think about#but like? i don’t want to feel this way this is what i hate about west coast/white people conflict resolution!! there fucking isn’t any!!!#and i can’t deal with that! i can’t spend my life with people who aren’t going to engage with me as a person who cares about them#humans are fallible creatures and were only here on earth for so long so why are we wasting time here? what is the point of all this ???????#but then the guilt and shame say i deserve it all and at that point i just need to stop so. i’m gonna stop now lol
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It’s times like these that remind me why I made pi in the first place
#Pretending to be someone else to avoid people is a thing I do sometimes#Pi originally was a side blog to get away from the pressure of knowing that my ex knew when I posted#I swear I’m a piece of shit for this—I’ve pushed away thoughts of doing it again#Cuz I’m scared of shit that might not be true#This is why we don’t hand out our blogs to people !!!#Vent#ish I can’t post abt it too much but it’s getting to me and idk what to do about it#I am unreachable in the summer by choice. Don’t speak to me#Eh…I’m being vaguely targeted not in an angry way just in a “I don’t talk to people in the summer unless I actively want to make plans”#Or smth like that I don’t understand myself and I shouldn’t excuse whatever the fuck this is#3.14 or some shit like that
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Being told you talk to much when you stress talk because you’re actively being beat down in every aspect of your life and you finally feel you have a safe person to go to and just have it thrown back in your face is a feeling I don’t wish on anyone. I think I’m just gonna stop talking to everyone because I don’t know who I can trust.
#and I was also told I care too much which was what someone else told me in college#I had a straight up flashback n now I’m like#let me just reach out to them about surface level shit#I also know it’s because this same friend got a new friend group finally so I guess they don’t have to lean on me as much but like….damn#j wasn’t expecting that#and having no one to talk to even abt mundane things is killing me
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What did people do with secret concerns before tumblr? Write in their diaries and wait for ppl to find it after they died?
#the urge to overshare is so real#the only thing stopping me is my fear that someone irl might be following me#I just do the stupidest things I swear and then overthink abt it#💀💀💀#I think all I can do is write a cryptic poem so the only person who knows what I’m talking abt is me and I still get to share my thoughts#sometimes u do a thing so dumb you feel the need to tell everyone abt it#like if I’m being this dumb… ppl might as well get some entertainment out of it fhfhfh to make it worth it
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something on my mind rn. as you all know i’m a lesbian. applause from the audience. and sometimes it just gets to be like annoying when. well. so i have at least A friend who’s asked me several times over ‘so you don’t have Any attraction to men? like at all?’ and i know they’re not being like malicious but you know. that answer has not changed since like seventh grade. and in the same vein it just feels aggravating when i have the nerve to say Oh i think she seems like a lesbian. that’s giving dyke. etc. and to be met with ‘umm well maybe she actually does like men.’ like. first of all in personal conversations if i’m just saying shit chances are i’m just going off of patterns from my own life or other lesbians i know. i’m not here for Bi Erasure and i promise you in this context your attraction to men is not ever invalidated as much as my lack of it. esp in college with so many people talking about their dating/app experiences and etc it’s 99.9999% of the time about men and i just Can’t participate in that conversation which is yk not the end of the world but a bit isolating and even if i do contribute anything it just feels like… a slight Stiffening like. and even just getting brushed off with Well yeah but you’re not even into guys. like real! i still have eyes though. and esp when my attraction isn’t being celebrated and engaged with in the way theirs is it’s just really fucking lonely! and maybe that’s a gross inner voice of insecurity that i’m projecting onto them but like you must get what i mean right. there’s still this odd air specifically around people who Do Not engage with men at all. and if i do make any kind of joke or comment abt someone maybe just Not being into guys i’m made into the asshole who’s invalidating their experiences etc when like. i’m just saying shit man idk. and it’s like many of these people are bi and claim attraction to women but get so like uncomfortable actually talking about it. i don’t think i’m the one with problems! i think there’s still some internalized shit there. you know. anyway all this to say as much as we’ve had the conversation of invalidating bi attraction some of you need to think about not treating gay attraction as this secondary awkward weird elephant in the room. and on a more personal note on top of the Everything that was getting under my skin last night this was just a cherry on top where i was feeling soo… misunderstood and invalidated lol even tho again i largely think those friends were being very supportive and kind to me. this is just one thing i was like. 😐
#esp cause the other one literally pulled the. well idk a man would have to be like Perfect but id still hook up with one. yeah it could be#any woman literally but you know men aren’t totally out of the picture if they’re like. Actually the most attractive man ever and then#i could just pretend it’s not a man#… and you want me to act like that’s not a dyke thing to say. like ok#i didn’t say that to her face btw she can figure that out herself. but you get what i’m working with#it’s so frustrating and truly. once again. just isolating. cause as long as people claim they’re into men it’s like they have this in for#so much bonding that i will never access cause i don’t give a fuck about men. so it’s like yeah i get defensive#esp speaking about a situation in which someone behaved so egregiously homoerotically with me and displayed many signs of um. being gay#and then could just run off with her bf she didn’t even seem to be that attracted to. u can see where#as MUCH as it’s not my goddamn business. when i’m dragged into that it would absolutely get under my skin and of course i’d say some stupid#shit about her needing to accept lesbianism into her heart. lol#because unfortch. yeah. That still came up as part of this. as much as i’d like to just forget it and move on#she just somehow fucking comes up and now it’s not even me obsessively talking abt it. it’s like that situation just cannot leave me alone#for my peace of mind. it’s been months. and that’s also sad and fucked for me cause it’s like#as horrible as that was for my like self esteem and peace of mind. it’s the fucking Only thing i had going for me in a long ass time#and since it just worked so well i latched onto it yk. and i have to trust as i get more confident and move on in the world#i’ll attract better people and whatnot#but it’s like personally extremely lonely and then just feels like an added stupid layer when. it just feels so invalidated in a way. idk#like no i did not have a relationship that i can technically mourn i just had a weird connection with someone who wouldn’t admit even the#slightest attraction even if it was glaringly obvious. it just preys on this stupid fucking loneliness i feel too. and i KNOW i don’t need#to constantly validate that and whatever and none of my friends actually think i’m delusional#it’s just that. i need to get a grip and not cling to it. like just accept it for what it is and go on. and when it’s brought up at random#when i’m already in a stupid sensitive spot it’s hard. u know. and then also w these friends they’re not used to hyperbole so when i say#shit like well i hope they die. they’re like Omg! 🙀 and i’m like oh my god i don’t mean that literally like. hello#this whole thing was not about film girl but of course she made a silly little guest appearance. in conversation#which is just embarrassing for me. you know.#pisses me off that she can move on and probably act like nothing even happened meanwhile i was over here sobbing like i’d been through#a heartbreak. and i’m remembered as like obsessive silly goofy crazy for it. and i was. but damn i’ve taken accountability for it 😭#abby talks#long post
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some people are just. so fucking dense
#imagine seeing someone straight out say something along the lines of#don’t be bigoted bc it gives [people the bigotry was aimed at] something to complain about#hellO??????#and then you reallt expect me to believe You. the person making the comment to begin with. ISNT bigoted???? what the fuck#you can use your imagination to fill in those blanks#i am.#what#how about don’t be bigoted because. you shouldn’t be bigoted??????????#what the hell#this was what i was saying earlier abt a fucking bad take btw#i know i said i would stop talking about it but turns out i wasn’t done 🫡#like imagine looking in a room full of people. some of whom are queer. and turning to someone next to you and saying#hey don’t be homophobic it feeds into queer peoples’ narrative about being victimized and gives them ground to complain on#what???#that wasn’t what the person said but again use ur imagination#i’m. wow
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i keep wondering why my schedule has been so wonky lately as if i didn’t quite literally get into a car crash less than a week ago
#danbles#car accident mention#hello from 5 in the morning#we’re fine everyone’s fine the other person’s insurance is allegedly going to pay for it#but i think it was my first real look at death so i’m still trying to process it#weird guilt feelings for smth that wasn’t even my fault#grief is a weird thing to process i’ve found out!#i’m not used to being angry yet it keeps coming back#it’s very hard for me to care abt things rn#but ik it’s just one of those things i have to ride out. i’ve certainly been thru worse#and the fact that i can confide in my interests is a good sign that i still care at all. and i will care again#i’m rly lucky that i’ve had my sibling to talk to abt this but that’s also bc they were there#and got it worse than me! nothing hospitalizing thank god but we’re still healing#anyway i don’t need sympathy. talking abt this with anyone other than my sib has been rly irritating (is currently in an irritable state)#but i think i just wanted to let ppl know that i’m going thru smth. idk how that helps but it does#i think i just cant reconcile with the idea that i couldve lost someone i care deeply abt and everyone else is just moving on#ah fuck that’s what it is. im angry abt how insignificant a lifechanging event actually is#i don’t want anyone to care but i do think i need someone to know that it’s not normal rn#like i just need to throw it out there into the void that smth Has happened#and then i can go back to a new normal#alright it’s 5:30am now i think i should go to bed fr#also this got rly heavy but i dont wanna freak my friends out. like i’m okay and i’ll be okay#each day has gotten easier so far#and it doesn’t mean i’ve been pretending to be happy#it’s a rly weird duality idk how to explain#like apprently i was laughing a lot during the actual crash! emotions are weird man idk!#christ it’s almost 6 now OKAY GN FR peace and love everyone#normal is right around the corner 👍
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i know this is so not the right audience for this but MAN it is so hard being the only person you know who’s actively caught up on a certain series like sure we can talk leaks but if u don’t know what i’m talking about from like 3 chapters ago it’s not the same 😔
#this is abt the jjk 212 leaks rn but every time a new chapter of smth comes out i’m like holy shit i need to talk to someone abt this#and you Can bc they know the characters but they don’t know wtf else is happening#like wdym u don’t understand the angel stuff related to megumi or her needing to kill sukuna before unsealing gojo#like that was all so recent we can’t even get into what this means further if u don’t know any of the other bkgd info 😩#anyway. as a megumi stan it’s been real rough#jjk 212#jjk spoilers#or leaks?? whatever lol
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when the very small amount of people in my life who know i’m a lesbian still talk about me dating guys 😃 like
#no cause i’m gonna tell u guys abt this convo i had w my sister the other day#we were talking abt her dating older guys cause she has a type lmao#and i was like what would you do if i was dating someone more than like 4 years older then me#and she was like ‘i would punch him in the face’#dramatic asf#and i was like ummmmm him ? 🧏♀️🧏♀️#and idk maybe she just got confused cause we WERE talking abt older guys but like i mentioned a hypothetical situation where i was dating#someone and she immediately assumes it’s a guy …..#i know it sounds stupid but like i’m out to less than 3 people i know irl and she just blatantly disregards my gayness ???#GODDDDDDD#like i have to talk about men all the time with EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS AND HER !!!!!#and one of the very few times i talk abt myself and bring up my own dating life ….. and she says hypothetically id be dating a man#it makes me wanna scream just thinking about it again#it immediately ruined my mood#it sucks having no lesbian friends in real life 🤭 like actually devastating sick to my stomach can’t recover type shit#but yk what#one day i’ll make it to one of the like 5 lesbian bars that there are in the US and i’ll meet some friends#ITS GONNA HAPPEN#i’m manifesting it#maybe once i get to college i’ll meet less straight ppl and more LESBIANS#I WANT LESBIANS !!!!#and also i was talking to this other person who’s pan#and they asked me what my sexuality was and i was like im a lesbian#and they go “i like everybody. which unfortunately includes men😪’#bitch …… 😕 you’re kidding me rn#ur joking#pls never say that to me or any lesbian ever#bc i promise u i’ve DREAMT abt the idea of being attracted to men and how much easier that would be#obviously it makes me nauseous thinking abt it but at the same time if i had a CHOICE#since when is there a 30 tag limit i’m trying to rant
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