#I know period is a Very important thing and it does do some body reactions

[celibibratty]

i know mom is just trying to help, but why does she always mention period whenever I/we say I/we feeling something or some way?(It's kinda annoying😑, idk seems like you invalidading my feelings/body, It makes seem like anything a woman feels is just her hormones, which sometimes is not, (specially in my case I notice that most of the times I get depressed/moody are after my period not before it, in nutshell I more likely to get depressed when I'm sane and marina says the same thing), I think my head is hurting as hell today because I didn't slept well(not because my period is coming, I know mine period sytoms and they not include headaches)

[sxeraphfic]

Sub bottom Donnie Darko HCs ? :0

TW/NSFW - SUB DONNIE DARKO HCS 

thank you for the ask!

I've decided to put this into different sections: general submissive hcs first, sub bottom hcs and the other section will be sub top! Read whatever one you prefer ♥️ 

 GENERAL SUBMISSIVE HCS 

Donnie isn't a bratty submissive, I can imagine him being VERY well behaved when it comes to you.

Occasionally he’ll make some offhanded snarky comment, but you know he's only doing it for a reaction. He shuts his mouth as quickly as he opens it. 

Donnie is extremely praise motivated, he thrives off of being told when he's doing things well, when he's being a good boy, how he good he feels etc

Likes to be cuddled/pet/pampered

As for degradation it depends on the day, sometimes he kind of gets off on the fact that he's inherently a little weird and outcast-y 

But if you start practically verbally abusing him it may secretly scare him a little, he likes to be humiliated, not verbally assaulted.

Speaking of that, yes he has a humiliation kink, call him needy or pathetic and it'll drive him insane. 

Also messing around with him in public despite his outward annoyance will turn him the fuck on and probably give him a hard on, hence the humiliation kink.  

He enjoys it when you put your fingers in his mouth 

I can't lie bro has some beautiful doe eyes you bet he's gonna be giving you that. Look. he has (ifykyk) 

Probs has a secret mommy kink that you’ll have to fight to get out of him

As for physical harm he isn't a hardcore masochist or even close,  but he can enjoy a light slap, pinching, biting..maybe even some light crotch stepping.

but if you start beating the shit out of him he's not going to find it sexy at all, keep the violence tolerable! 

I said this before in the general but he has some weird kinks 

Although i don't think body worship is weird at all he takes it to a different level 

if you leave any of your clothing near him and you so happen to forget it he may smell it and jack off with it later 

doesnt mind a little choking

Hey, I said what I said. You gotta remember he's a bit of a freak.  

Absolutely a headgiver, he loves feeling you control his pace

SUB BOTTOM DONNIE HCS 

I think initially Donnie would take some time before admitting that he wants to bottom, assuming you're in a relationship w him around that time period it's important to note acceptance of that kind of thing was very limited

However since he trusts you he’ll eventually confide in you.  

Donnie wouldn't want you to be extra rough with him, well maybe sometimes he wouldn't mind if he was really in the mood. But he prefers normal paced fucking.

If you happen to be more fem presenting i think he would get off on the contrast of someone feminine railing him. Not necessary ofc but just a note 

That being said, if you are more masculine presenting he's gonna find that sexy too. Hes soooo bisexual i know his repressed ass will be screaming if he's getting touched by another masculine person 

Stroke his dick while you fuck him he wants it sooo bad 

I think he’d be most comfortable w/ doggy style and spooning

SUB TOP DONNIE HCS 

Def into cockwarming, in the sense that he's not allowed to move but is forced to feel the pressure of his dick inside of you for however long you decide to keep him like that.  

Controlled orgasm. Need I say less? He likes you to tell him when he's allowed to cum when fucking you

Edging is apart of that too, he likes when hes just about to cum and then you tell him to stop fucking you

NEEDS PERMISSION for everything 

Thigh fucking as a treat since he looooves your thighs

he likes it if you praise or degrade him as he fucks you

let him go a lil crazy with you every once and awhile as a treat

Thank you for reading!

[cripplecharacters]

hello! do you have any advice on writing disabled characters in historical setting? specifically characters, whose diagnosis hadn't been discovered yet (for example I have a character with pots but they live before 1982)

Hi,

I love historical fiction, and know this can be a little tricky, because of course disability of various kinds has always existed and conditions are real before they’re named.

But you have options!

The most important thing, I would say, is describing the aspects of the condition and your character’s feelings and behavior around it (how they manage it, what they notice about it). You can also describe other people’s responses to how they feel and act.

You should definitely describe how your character feels about their condition. Do they wish there were others like them to talk to, do they actually already have a community of people similar to them, or do they wish no one else has what they have? Do they wonder if anyone they know is like them, or think they must be alone? Maybe they feel like their condition not a big deal at all and just an inconvenience, or maybe they feel really hindered by it and it greatly upsets them, or maybe they’re somewhere in between and sometimes get really frustrated and sometimes they feel it’s just a thing that happens.

And of course the answers to all of these will be different depending on your time period—someone with POTS in 1795 will manage their symptoms differently than someone with POTS in 1968, and the same goes for all conditions. But for POTS specifically, without naming it:

For the symptoms you can describe your character noticing that whenever they stand or sit up they feel their heart race and they feel dizzy or faint. They might not know why, but they’ll know how their body reacts.

You can describe what they avoid doing because they’ve noticed it makes them feel worse—maybe they take showers that are less hot, or go out as little as possible when it’s very hot/humid out, or maybe they don’t drink alcohol or coffee. Maybe it’s bad enough they can’t do some sort of work that is expected of them at their home, or their job, or school.

You can describe what they do because it makes them feel better—maybe they drink a lot of water, maybe they buy socks a size smaller because they noticed it makes them feel a little better, maybe they always give themselves an extra half hour to get anything done so they can stand or sit up more slowly. Maybe they take over someone else’s specific work because they can manage that better and trade with them.

As to other character’s reactions, some characters may be positive and always offer your character their arm when they’re standing so they can worry less about fainting. Some might be pretty neutral and just ask them why they never go grab a beer with them. Some might be negative and roll their eyes whenever your character needs extra time or to sit down for a bit.

People with POTS and similar conditions will recognize themselves in your character’s actions and reactions, and it’s very possible that people who have friends or family or people they know with POTS or anything similar will think “oh that’s kind of like what John Doe has.” And even if they don’t, they’ll still have read a realistic and respectful story about someone with a disability.

This goes for any disability, not just POTS. Just swap out the symptoms and ways to manage it and characters’ reactions accordingly.

Something you can choose to do, but you don’t have to do, is add a note at some point (but probably either at the end or the beginning of the story) that your character has what today we would know as POTS.

For an example I’ve seen in real life (not POTS related but about disability in general), I read a book set in the early 20th century in an institution, The Degenerates by J. Albert Mann. Since it’s a different time period, characters are referred to by terms we don’t use anymore at all or not in the same way, and many characters have conditions that we know about today but were not known at all at that time. What the author did was describe the characters’ actions (and thoughts, if they were the POV character), as well as how others reacted to them. At the end there was an appendix describing what each character might have been diagnosed with today, if anything at all (since not all people ended up at asylums because of an actual condition and some were just poor or Othered in some other way).

Thank you for your thoughtful question! I feel like I rarely see characters in historical fiction who have basically any disabilities, but thank you for wanting to create some :)

Good luck!

— Mod Sparrow

[bots-and-cons]

Can i request Optimus, Arcee, and Bumblebee react to their human friend (preferably female) somehow turning into a cybertronian and now they have to help her to get used to her new buddy?

A/N: I have a post about this with Knockout, and a bit more angsty one where the reader dies and gets revived as cybertronian, so if you’re interested, check those out too

~Bumblebee~

•Bee is honestly pretty excited when you turn into a cybertronian, but he is also incredibly confused, just like the rest of the team

•There is certainly an adjustment period to get used to your new body

•Nobody really knows why it happened, but you touched some iacon artifact by accident and poof, you turned into a cybertronian

•Since Bee is your guardian, he got the job of teaching you about being an autobot

•You’re very clumsy in the beginning and the whole transforming thing doesn’t really come naturally to you

•You still have to pick an altmode now and Bee tries his best to explain how the switching between your alt mode and bot mode feels, because he thinks if you can feel it you can do it

•His explanation is very much about the vibe of the whole thing, rather then how it would actually work

•Anyway, you’re having a lot of fun, even if you feel really clunky and being so big is very odd

•All the very normal sized things look so small now that you’re like three times your previous height

•You eventually turn back into a human when the relic’s effect wears off, but at least now they know what it does

•It’s really disorienting being a human again, just like it was disorientating when you first turned into a cybertronian

~Optimus Prime~

•When you turned into a cybertronian, it was obviously a big shock for everyone 

•It was decided Optimus would look after you and teach you how to transform and stuff like that

•It’s not usually really something that has to be taught to cybertronians, because they just know how to do it naturally, so this is definitely a new experience for him too

•You’re super clumsy at first, and definitely not feeling like yourself

•Your body feels weird, because it’s not really yours yet since you’re not accustomed to it

•Optimus teaches you about all kinds of things like how to switch to your blasters from your hands and how to activate your blades

•It’s certainly a learning process, and you learn it quicker with your dominant hand for some reason

•You pick up on the feeling you get when you’re doing things right, so it starts getting easier to use your weapons and stuff

•You’re obviously not allowed to fight, because you have no experience and who knows what could happen to your human body if you changed back when you’d gotten injured in your bot form

•Optimus might also be kind of overthinking things, because he doesn’t know how this whole thing works

~Arcee~

•Another normal day at the autobot base, a human turning into a cybertronian is an everyday thing

•Arcee is pretty tired of all the shenanigans that keep happening, but she does still start mentoring you in how to be a cybertronian

•She thinks it’s important you can keep yourself safe, even if the situation is temporary and you’re not really leaving the base, because something unexpected could happen

•First of course you have to pick an alt mode so that’s what you do

•Then Arcee teaches you to use your blasters, which causes a few misfires and a very annoyed Ratchet, because he almost got shot

•You actually end up being pretty good with the blasters, your aim is great and your reaction time is good too

•Arcee is worried about how this little accident with you turning into a cybertronian happened, so she tries to research the relic, but there seems to be no information about it

•It turns out not to be permanent though, so she can sigh in relief once you’re finally back to your human self

•You think it’s a bit of a bummer, but you’re also happy to be able to go home again

[bat3s]

I don't know if you have limits and if you don't want to do these it's completely fine, just wanted to ask if you could do a s/o with multiple additions like coffe/energy drink, cigarettes/weed and self harm, cutting/burning. I have these additions and I was curious how they would react. You can choose the killers

TW:s/h

Slashers x gn s/o with addictions (Michael Myers, Billy Loomis, Norman Bates, Jason Voorhees, Brahms Heelshire, Thomas Hewitt)

Sorry this took so long! I hope you enjoy!!

Michael Myers

He’s already aware of your addictions since he basically stalks you

He’s familiar with not only substance based addictions but also self harm because he had seen other patients at Smith’s grove who struggled with addictions

His immediate reaction is to clear the house of anything you could really hurt yourself with

He knows he can’t just make you stop, he understands that it’s much more complicated than that

If you talk to him about it, maybe asking for comfort when you get urges he’ll begrudgingly agree to help

He knows this is important, he knows you’re important to him so he wants to make sure you’re okay

Whenever you get the urge to smoke/cut/burn etc. he’ll walk up behind you and press himself against you to try and distract you

Not exactly hugging but it’s the thought that counts

Billy Loomis

The first thing he noticed was the smoking/energy drinks

They were pretty apparent because those were things you did in front of him, he noticed how often you seemed to do it and how you seemed dependent on these things to get you through the day

He notices the self harm a bit later

Might sneak into your room when you’re asleep and noticed the cuts/burns on your arm where your clothes had been brushed up in bed

He kind of gets mad, not really though, he’s upset and frustrated but he doesn’t know how to express that

Wakes you up right away and asks you about it

Gets really pushy up until you start crying/shout back at him

After that he backs off a bit and tries to figure things out

He wants to help you he just has no idea how

What he ends up doing is basically just trying to distract you, if he noticed that you seemed bothered he would drag you onto the couch to watch some movies (your choice!) 

Reacts fairly poor in the case of a relapse

He’ll back off for a bit just so he doesn’t do anything particularly upsetting

Tries to help by distracting you mostly

He'll try to take you out more, you'd normally stay in with him since that's his preference but he'll do whatever he can to help you work through things

He does still do regular movie nights though, if not more frequently

Lets you pick the movies :0

Norman Bates

He discourages your use of caffeine

considering the time, smoking is a fairly common habit

Though he does notice that you're smoking a lot

He tries to gently encourage you to be healthier

He'll encourage you to sleep earlier and more often to dissuade your caffeine use

He'll also try to let you relax more, he thinks that removing stress might help you cut back on smoking

He notices the self-harm slowly

He sees all the little things

You going to the bathroom for long periods of time and not running the shower

You wearing long sleeves/pants in hot weather

The amount of first aid supplies being used

How you'd flinch when he touched or brushed certain parts of your body

He tried to deny it for a while, he didn't want to believe you'd hurt yourself

He decides to ask you about it one day though

He can't stand the though of you hurting while he stands by and does nothing

He's very delicate with how he phrases his question, but he asks if he can see your arms/legs

If you oblige he very carefully rolls up the clothing and gently cradles the area

He's silent for a moment before he speaks

He asks if he did something/has neglected something which prompted you to do this

Encourages you to seek him out when you feel the urge to self harm

Very patient and a great listener as you tell him about your struggles and how you've been feeling

He encourages you to form healthier replacement habits like gardening/baking/art

Will drop everything to comfort you

Will abandon conversations with customers to make you feel better

Will always be willing to help you clean any injuries

He's very teary eyed the whole time but he remains calm and reassuring the whole time

Whenever he gets the chance he'll hold your hands in his and press your foreheads together and he'll just whisper how much he loves you and how proud he is of you

Jason Voorhees

Jason does not really tolerate any smoking/drinking

So I won't be writing about that

He doesn't notice any of the signs of s/h

He has never really seen or heard of anyone doing that sort of thing before so it doesn't even occur to him

He finds out on a really hot day

You're clearly suffering in the heat but insist on wearing long sleeves/pants

He doesn't want you passing out from the heat so he tries to get you to change clothes or at the very least roll up your sleeves/pants

He gets fed up and just does it for you (he's to strong so there's really nothing you can do to stop him)

When he sees the marks he just freezes

He assumes someone else is hurting you and that you were hiding it

Panics and carries you indoors to give you first aid

As you explain to him that you were hurting yourself on purpose he just looks confused

He hugs you and holds you really close (still broiling hot but he's upset okay)

Won't really leave you alone after this

Always checking you for injuries

Won't let you near anything potentially dangerous

If you express that you want to harm yourself he'll take you out on a walk to try and distract you

Brahms Heelshire

Brahms doesn't like it when you go outside for smoke breaks often

So your only options are to smoke inside/out a window or to quit altogether

Brahms will insist on the latter

He doesn't like the smell or taste and will throw a fit when you smell like tobacco

He will throw a fit about the caffeine as well

He thinks energy drinks and coffee are disgusting and doesn't want them in the house

Even the smell of coffee will upset him

If he finds any he'll steal it and throw it out

He's in the walls so you're not really sure where he can see/go so there's no where private to go

He'll witness you harming well before he reveals himself

(Before revealing himself) He'll take away any blades/lighters so you can't use them

(After revealing himself) He won't throw fits about you harming

But he does get very sad

He doesn't like the idea of you hurting yourself but he's even more upset that he can't help you

He'll hold you very close to him and whisper little praises and reassurances when you tell him you're having the urge to hurt yourself

Thomas Hewitt

It's quite unlikely that the Hewitts have easy access to coffee let alone energy drinks

And it's unlikely they'd let you leave often enough to get large amounts of them, that's assuming you can even afford that given your new situation

So you're forced to quit cold turkey

If you explain it to Thomas, he's very sympathetic and tries his best to sooth your withdrawal symptoms

When it comes to self harm, Thomas has personal experience in that area

He notices you wearing long clothes in hot Texas weather and catches on pretty quickly

He knocks on the door to the bathroom one day when you're in the middle of harming and asks if he can come in

If you panic and insist you're fine he'll calmly assure you that he already knows and he just wants to help

You let him in and he very slowly steps in and slowly reaches towards the area, looking down at you to make sure you're okay with him checking

He'll clean your wounds in silence and then will take you into your bedroom and just hold you in his lap

He's silent but he's gently rubbing his hands over any unmarked areas to sooth you

He'll listen very closely if you want to talk

He tells you that while he'd like you to stop, he understands it's not that easy and that he just wants you to be safe

He wants you to come to him when you feel any urges

Or after you've already harmed, that way he can disinfect it and comfort you

He won't tell anyone else, he's sure they'd react poorly (even if Luda May cared, she wouldn't really understand)

He tends to be very shy about his own scars and is apprehensive to let you touch or even see them

But now he lets you in hopes that you won't feel alone

He's not good with words, so he hopes this shows you how much he cares and that he understands how you're feeling

(If you let him) He will gently pet the areas around the injuries

He'll trace the scars and press gentle kisses on them

I'm so soft for him

[soaringwide]

Hey :p

Another post of the dive deeper series, where i try to explore techniques you can use to improve the way you read tarot cards.

The big issue when you start reading tarot, is that you're going to have a tendency to read each card separately, which makes the reading clunky and prevents you from gaining insights from the card's interactions.

And I really think that tarot, with its characters, symbols, colors and correspondences, is perfectly suited to this method.

Putting the meanings together is the tricky part, and I really like using my story-telling brain in order to solve the problem. It helps me take a step back from the pressure of getting the message right, and adds a bit of fun, which again makes me more relaxed and thus allows me to read more accurately. I read with my logic mostly, but my intuition does play some part, and I find that it needs space to roam, which is hard when my brain is overheating trying to decipher the imagery of the cards.

So here are some points I keep in mind when reading for myself or for others:

Personify the Cards

Think of each tarot card as characters. What are they experiencing? Are they thriving or struggling? What vibe do they give off? At ease of tense? Can you think of a situation you’ve lived that triggered that reaction and what did it make you think or feel?

It’s also useful to let the cards interact with each other by looking at their placement and at what direction they point or gaze. Two characters facing each other don't signify the same thing than if they are facing away. Just like in real life, people act in ways that convey meaning, even without words.

Read Symbols

Symbols are like condensed little pockets of meaning. Use the historical or traditional definitions, but don’t shy away from intuitively coming up with your own, and connect that with the context of the card. Symbols are tied to culture and time period and they change over time.

When you think about it, tarot was created at a time where technology was vastly different. So you're going to have to get creative with symbols to translate that to our modern life.

Spot Repetitions

Having multiple cards of the same suit (cups, swords, wands and pentacles), of a few cards talking about a similar theme is called a pattern and indicates the importance of that topic in your reading. Is your reading packed with Kings, or full of 3's? It can signify as focal point and can be useful to research that if you are not sure what that might mean, but you can, again, also use your own logic or intuition and get a little crazy.

The absence of something can also be very telling, for example, a lack of wands when it comes to looking for a job which might indicate a lack of actions or initiatives from the querent.

Scan your Emotions

Emotions are a powerful way your intuition can speaks to you. Scan your body and/or the way you feel and analyze it. Do you feel giddy, lighthearted, or on the contrary constricted or confused? This is a sign you’re tapping into the answer and you shouldn’t discard it.

It's quite hard for me to do because I have a more rational way to interpret the cards, but I'm slowly integrating that way of welcoming messages as well. For example, I might feel very sluggish during a reading when it talks about someone struggling to do something, or on the contrary really speedy when someone is eager to say something to someone.

This adds a color to the story your trying to tell.

Connect the dots

The hardest part is to connect the dots, but it’s also what will bring your reading together and stop you from reading cards separately. When I read the cards, there is always a corner of my mind that is daydreaming the querent's life, like a little movie.

It helps me generate messages that pops up in my mind in addition to what I see in the cards. Get creative and remember that there is no right or wrong way to do it, if you’re seeing something it’s probably meaningful, so learn to trust your judgement and know that it will get better over time with practice.

Ko-fi ★ book a reading ★ pinned post ★ instagram ★ website

[justabeewithapen]

:0 if you have ideas for a maskless hero drawing then i want to see it! but if not then what would the others reactions be if they see him without the mask(considering TLQ didnt know that it was a mask i think the others would have the same idea except for contrarian)?

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!! I had these grand visions of drawing all of them, then that task was so daunting I kept pushing this back. I didn't draw everyone, but I did draw the most important one. Firstly, the list of people who knew Hero's helmet wasn't his face: Smitten - While a peaceful creature himself (unless righteous justice is needed) Smitten has seen the after-math of other employees from less kindly monsters. His first and only concern when seeing Hero was fixing that man's horrible haircut. No one knows how he learned to cut hair considering his head is a skull, but I don't think anyone is brave enough to ask. Cold - One of the less peaceful monsters, he's blown a few heads off employees before and has picked up on helmets because of how they shatter. He thinks they're more like some sort of artificial shell employees wear for protection like they do the nutcracker body, and they're not far off! Cold would mock Hero for willingly leaving his protective casing and then would be tackled by TLQ as he loads his shotgun Contrarian - Being a masked they obviously know how people work. If he ran into Hero without his helmet he wouldn't be too different. Assuming Hero lets them, they would be far more touchy-feely and grabby, and more of that 'blood' substance might leak from their face on instinct. They wouldn't convert him, but it would be more obvious the urge is there. Skeptic - While he can't see he has pieced together from the way Hero talks that he wears something over his face. Skeptic envisions it more like a carapace situation like bugs, physically apart of Hero and hiding the squishy undersides. If Hero allowed (he would but he would be very anxious) I think Skeptic would want to sniff and feel Hero's face with his own to get an idea of it. He would also probably suggest Hero get his hair preened by Cheated because he is very good at it. Stubborn - Stubborn has eaten a lot more employees than Hero would be comfortable knowing about. It doesn't make any difference to Stubborn, but he would make fun of Hero's "baby face" because he doesn't have any scars. Secondly, people who did not know the helmet came off: Broken - Broken is always very touchy-feely when interacting with Hero. Because his acid is so light Hero's suit is perfectly capable of resisting it for pretty long periods of time. The same does not apply to skin however. Broken would probably try and climb up Hero like it normally does, only to be startled out when Hero freaks out because their goop burns on skin. They would """"run"""" off to mope until Hero finds them to promise there aren't any hard feelings. Cheated - Like Stubborn he immediately comments on Hero's lack of scars. While startled to find out the helmet wasn't Hero's face, Cheated is pretty quick to accept that fact and move on. He would offer to preen Hero's hair and would actually be more comfortable around Hero. Having a face to read emotions off of makes him more comfortable, even though Hero normally has a very expressive voice. Hunted - Hunted already has fairly bad eyesight, so the only thing this changes for him is that it is slightly easier to separate Hero's head from the background of facilities. Normally Hunted stares at Hero's chest when they talk because his bright green suit is a good spot to focus on. The thought Hero also has an exoskeleton is easy to understand, but Hunted would be freaked out at the idea Hero is putting back on his old 'molts' instead of moving to new ones!! Do you want to be less protected squishy friend???? Opportunist - Similar to Hunted it is not hard for him to accept that Hero has an exoskeleton. He is less caught up on the removable aspect, but he is suddenly very interested in the helmet itself. There is no way he didn't try and steal it at least once... or twice. Paranoid - Very much freaked out and bothered that the helmet isn't his face. The first time Hero takes it off Paranoid has a breakdown trying to figure out why Hero is

[lavellane]

💘💔 for Ashara!!!

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

oooooo good question !!! i think broadly speaking her clan has always taken precedent over everybody else, especially her keeper and her nephew. TECHNICALLY her twin sister is her #1 priority but she would never admit that bc publicly she's a hater. but if it came down to a choice she'd pick mithra every time.

in dai and onwards obviously solas is sort of at the forefront of everything. despite her somewhat umm repulsive personality <3 she IS a romantic at heart and she falls in love very quickly with people who are kind to her and he wasnt an exception, so she rly had it in her head that they would run off and have a family together before he dumped her lol. since then he's stayed THE looming figure in her life post trespasser but in a deeply unsettling psychosexual tom and jerry "my entire life's purpose is to drop a piano on your head" type vibe. she pushes away basically everybody during this period except (divine) leliana and cassandra, who's council and general presence is the only ones she trusts.

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

she will - and especially at the beginning of dai - answer every single obstacle with "hey cassandra i think we're gonna have to kill these guys :/" . she has enough self awareness to know this isnt a great way to walk through life and she wishes (and tries, usually to some degree of success) to course correct, but she hates personally suffering through diplomacy because she thinks people shouldnt have to be incentivized and ass-kissed to do the correct, moral thing. IRONICALLY, she isnt ANTI diplomacy at all - as first to the keeper in her clan she did strongly encourage her keeper towards more open trading and collaboration with human towns. she just hates having to do it herself bc she does not have a charismatic bone in her body. which is why shes thanking mythal every single day for josephine montilyet lmao.

also still tethered to her hot headedness/frustration angle, shes also deeply emotionally stubborn. i say emotionally bc its not so much plans or ideas she wont budge on, because she's usually pretty thoughtful and open to teamwork. PEOPLE are what she struggles with, particularly if they hurt her (solas) or abandon her (solas) or betray her (solas but also blackwall). when she doesnt like someone it is borderline impossible for her to move past that and she will devote great deals of time and mental energy to being hater #1. she and blackwall *hate* each other after his rainier revelation and she allows him to join the wardens as penance only bc she is Actively banking on him dying horribly in the deep roads 🥲 same with solas. ironically if he had just told her the truth she would have been more or less on board with helping him out, and she does for most part agree with him on 85-90% of it. but its the fact that he lied and then dumped her and then humiliated her which is the reason she will never collaborate with him or entertain any of his ideas or stop trying to drop pianos on his head ever. if she can get past this sort of knee jerk reaction by/during datv then she'll be more open to redeeming him but until then. hater vibes only.

lastly, on a more sympathetic note, she struggles a lot with vulnerability. she watched her mother become an abomination bc a lifetime of pain overtook her in a moment of desperation, and ashara, being only like 13 when this happened, really took that lesson to heart. she thinks pain is an admission of weakness and defeat and death (ironically she does not think anger counts as an expression of pain, although it absolutely does) and so she tries to distance herself from opening up to others about her struggles because she feels its her burden to bare and she wants to protect people from that uncertainty. she wants them to trust her and feel like they can depend on her because they can.

her only real exception to this was solas, so to have been fucked over by him of all people really only just reinforced how she already felt about it all. lol.

[jenroses]

How do people with chronic illness and no background in advocacy or research survive? I know the answer is often, "they don't." But I'm marveling at the amount of executive function I'm having to aim at simply maintaining access to the medications and supplements I need to find existence tolerable, the length of time the system is willing to shrug about severe new pain and the diagnostic tests for it, and the amount of research I need to have in hand in order to have a hope of getting what I need covered by insurance and if I'm daunted, with my background and skill in these specific areas, what hope does someone have if they don't have those skills?

That said, here's a list of things I've found that have helped that were hard to get or challenging to learn about:

1. Topical metformin in lipoderm cream is a compounded version of metformin that can assist in blood sugar control which has few-to-no intestinal side effects.

2. For insulin resistance, a combination of liraglutide and topical metformin has worked better for me than insulin.

3. If you have painful fat on your body (not just fat, but fat that it's very pressure sensitive with trigger points that rival fibro and are frequently misdiagnosed as such) you NEED to research lipedema. My pt does lymphatic drainage that is life changing and drastically reduces pain in reasonably lasting ways.

4. If you go low carb for glucose control, do not rely on almonds as a major replacement for wheat, especially if you also have POTS and need a lot of sodium as the combination is a recipe for kidney stones which suck a lot. Almonds are very high in oxalates.

5. Genetic testing can point out some weird ways in which your body differs from the norm and this may explain weird medication results. For example, long after I realized that swimming pools made me sick and warfarin was a dangerous drug for me, genetic tests discovered that I do not process certain chlorine byproducts normally and that I have multiple genes that cause me to process warfarin very slowly. I'm also bad at turning t4 into t3 which is probably why synthroid was so bad. And we discovered an extra, rare recessive blood clotting disorder. This was from running my raw 23&me thru Promethease.

6. If you don't tolerate a medication, check the inactive ingredients. Things like povidone and sodium lauryl sulfate are used to help solubility but can cause allergic reactions/intolerances. I found this out after years on Xarelto, which was exacerbating my joint pain, probably from the sls. Switching to injectables fixed the problem and I've been more stable on my ra meds since.

7. Not all supplements work as advertised and there are many garbage brands out there but there are also better companies which have quality products and some supplements can be very helpful.

Vitex: chaste tree berry can drastically improve hormonal balance and normalize cycles. This means more regular periods and often less pmd.

Magnesium (doesn't have to be fancy, even cheap mag works) can drastically improve chronic asthma. You don't have to use it instead of drugs, but I found I just didn't need the drugs once I started supplementing a normal amount daily.

Turmeric: I went off this due to the whole herb having high oxalates but the extract form is lower oxalate and the anti inflammatory properties are a mercy for me. I can't take nsaids, but I tolerate turmeric well and it reduces my pain level quite dramatically, improving sleep quality.

Milk thistle products are helpful for liver function and since my liver is always kinda iffy the milk thistle is super important to me continuing to tolerate my medication load. When I was on warfarin the stabilizing effect of milk thistle was quite dramatic and measurable until other factors kicked in.

A negative: if you are on any medications that process through the liver, CBD can be dangerous to your health. This varies by drug and pathway. Natural is not always safer. Do your homework beforehand.

I take other things but those are some of the most dramatic helps. I can do a list of supplement manufacturers I trust if people are interested.

What I currently do for pain is a combination of lidocaine patches, very low dose oxycodone, turmeric, physical therapy, ergonomics, and mobility/accessibility aides. I'd be happy to do a different post just about that.

[llycaons]

ep40 (1/2): paperman time!!

this was so funny bc wen ning doesn't even need to run away from lwj anymore. like they were all at yi city together. wwx just wants alone time with lwj. also I think he would some privacy. why was wen ning on his roof

this was funny too. is he trying to block the window with his body or pose sexily

nothing really important in their convo except wwx is like 'what's jc gonna go if he knows it's me?' um sir he can kill you. he can also reveal his identity but I think they know he won't. not that wwx isn't nervous around jc obvi - I think he's presenting bravado

this was so funny. jc bitch moments. and lxc doesn't even ANSWER he's like well. hm. um

meanwhile jgy has THIS very alarmed reaction to seeing mxy which honestly I think would make more sense if mxy actually did anything besides harass his wife bc he's acting like major secrets are going to get out if mxy is here

there she is!! this poor woman. gone too soon and for zero reason whatsoever

AW YEAH NHS TIME

THIS IS SO CLASSIC. part of his decade-long revenge scheme im sure

you go, nhs! commit to the bit!!

the way this is translated is funny. 'listen if my estranged brother comes to yell at me and attack me and such I need you to make like a football player and just stand in front of him so he doesn't get to me'

jin ling loves wwx!!! standing up to bullies is hard! jl does this to protect an adult man he claims to hate just bc this man is so pathetic looking and also because jl loves him

and he's not even yelling for fairy. THAT is love

and the little fight move that wwx teaches jl is so fun

ALSO THIS IS THE LOTUS POND WE SAW JZX BUILD FOR JYL...wow...I love having such a long time period for a show that you see things happen in real time like that. oof

BEST LINE OF THIS EPISODE. TERRIBLE ADVICE 0/10 I LOVE HIM

wwx thinking fondly of punching jin zixuan that one time: ah, memories

this looks gay to the viewers

paperman!!! I love paperman!!! and the cgi is so good! Im sure it helps that its a simple little thing

anyway HE IS DEFINITELY BLOWING A KISS!!!

hehehe

he is so delightful to watch!! slipping through doors, sliding down bannisters, hitching a ride and dangling his little legs - he has so much personality crammed into that tiny body. it's so fun to watch

back to jgy. 'what are you doing' to qin su. ooh creepy.

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s Chinese mafia anon-

Imma be honest this was more a fun project for me to review my developmental psych knowledge than it was about the story, mostly because we don’t know everything about clover yet. I also included some links to google drive photos and an article but I understand if you don’t want to click them since stranger on the internet danger all lol so feel free to ignore those, I just thought you’d like them.

Here we go:

TW: all manners of childhood trauma and it’s effects, with a look at what we know about clover specifically

* Possibly (Co?)dependent relationship w/ Teddy- reliant on him for security/emotional safety. If something happens to him (or people she cares about), she reacts in a way that is not proportional to the stress experienced. Overly invested in his life and wellbeing at the cost of her own

* Hypoarousal- may shut down if overwhelmed/or under extreme stress; may oscillate between the hyper- and hypo-arousal (super stress/overreacting/easily overwhelmed to shutting off emotions/not being very responsive)

* Anger is considered to be a secondary emotion- usually seen as a reaction to something rather than an emotion, such as lashing out from fear

* May have trouble with physical contact as well- may be overwhelming because she is not used to it; may react uncomfortably to being touched or only tolerate it, especially initially; may begin to crave it as she begins to get a more “normal” view of physical touch

* Attachment:

* Typically reflects the relationship with the primary caregiver as an infant and how the caregiver responded to their needs: comforted them, ignored them, reacted at them, or mixed

* According to Erikson’s theory on human development, a secure attachment is important for believing that the world (+yourself +others) is a trustworthy place

* To be redundant/obvious, but Clover clearly does not believe this, so she almost certainly had a tenuous relationship (at best) with her primary caregiver(s) as a child

* Clover strikes me as having a disorganized/mixed attachment style, but especially as Ambivalent: she tends to be extremely wary of new people/situations, when she perceives her base (people she is attached to) are leaving/have left, she tends to be extremely distressed as they do so/while they’re gone. When they return she may not react very much (besides maybe calming down), but she may still be upset and refuse to be soothed/it takes a lot to placate her. (Sorry for the weird wording- I’m trying to change the clinical situation which is usually with infants to fit clover more lololol). She may also avoid the person who left when they return which would be more indicative of avoidant, like you suggested, but the mix of styles suggests disorganized to me.

* An interesting note: the prevalence of attachment styles is largely contingent on the values of the society in which the child was raised. For example, since we’re talking about Europe, German children are more likely to be insecure-avoidant because their society values independence more than other cultures

* An excerpt from my notes that I feel is relevant: “Caregiver consistency- infants who have not had the opportunity to attach in infancy may still form initial secure attachments several years later, but may have more emotional problems of depression, anger, or be overly friendly as they interact with others”

* You can look up the ACE’s study (adverse childhood experiences) which is a landmark study that looked at the prevalence and long-term consequences of childhood trauma: tldr; besides psych issues, they also have issues with their physical health as well, as the chronic stress tends to reek absolute havoc on the body. Super super fascinating study with terrifying implications for society as a whole

* A really important note: all these things are hypothetical and based on modern, mostly American, research; it may be different from that period, especially since the societal values and expectations were entirely different. I also want to note the importance of resiliency factors. Resiliency factors are things that decrease the likelihood of the trauma having a long term impact and change how the person may adjust and their chances of having a happy, normal life. The biggest one is finding people who will support and want what’s best for you as soon as possible, which clover seems to have found with her aunt and uncle, as well as her relationship with Teddy. So I would not expect her to exhibit all of these symptoms, though it definitely depends on how long she was in that adverse situation.

* From some scientific articles I reviewed a while back:

* Children who have ACEs tend to have difficulties relating to other people (eg having empathy, how to react to social situations), trouble maintaining relationships (they don’t understand themselves or how to function in a relationship because it was never modeled for them/they never learned), issues with attentiveness (such as ADHD), imitating patterns modeled by their caregivers, etc.

* Children who have faced physical/sexual assault trauma are more likely to present with symptoms that line up with the traditional PTSD model, but children who have faced other types of trauma (verbal, emotional, etc.) are likely to display symptoms more in line with a diagnosis of developmental trauma disorder

* Important: developmental trauma disorder (DTD) aka complex-PTSD, is not formally recognized by the DSM-V (the guide for diagnosing psychiatric illnesses in the USA) but rather considered a subset of PTSD, however the IUCD, which is essentially the DSM but for the rest of the world, recognizes it as its own disorder, and research strongly suggests that DTD and PTSD are distinct from one another

**(note, cont.) a good way to remember this is to know what it means. Developmental trauma is trauma that occurs while someone is in the period of rapid development- aka infancy/early childhood, but can even include stress from when they were in the womb, such as maternal stress. Complex trauma (from complex PTSD, though this name is being left behind to help the disorder distinguish itself from traditional PTSD) is trauma that occurs over a long period of time. Instead of a single or few triggering instance(s), as is often the case with PTSD, complex trauma (in general, not just the disorder) refers to trauma that occurred over a long period of time, often years. Put together/using info from these two names, DTD/C-PTSD is prolonged trauma over the course of the first few years of a person’s life

* I do not have enough confidence to say if Clover has developmental trauma disorder since I haven’t seen enough of her character and am not an expert in the field, but it’s a definite possibility. Interestingly, I also see this with Petal, Cherie, and Elias (I think I’ve mentioned this before but just reiterating the point; those are also the only ones who stick out to me off the top of my head)

* Internalizing and externalizing problems: Long story short, internalizing problems is when people blame themselves for everything that goes wrong, and externalizing problems is when people blame everything around them/powers outside of their control when things go wrong. Leaning too far in either direction can be a problem (for obvious reasons), but in particular it does tend to present as a problem for people with developmental trauma more often than not

* There is a very long but very fascinating article explaining a lot of the long-term issues for people with developmental trauma that I have uploaded to the google drive link - If you’re interested in developmental trauma at all, it is a SUPER fascinating read (had to use google drive as the actual article is blocked by a paywall I got through through my school’s library, but I can send you the doi if you want to check it anyway/see if 12 ft ladder can get you through) anyway here’s some highlights:

* Stress can manifest itself into somatic symptoms- one common example is getting a headache whenever the person is stressed, then treating the headache and not the stress; people with developmental trauma tend to experience somatic issues, partially as a manifestation of their stress/pain, but also because of the long-term effect of stress on the body; you can also look at the ACE’s study for more info (there’s also a TED talk that summarizes the ACEs study if you’d prefer that lmfao, as well as a butt ton of articles talking about it)

* Because they have not learned how to regulate themselves or recognize themselves/what they are feeling, they often misidentify situations are being more extreme than they are and act as if their trauma is occurring all over again- aka they overreact to slights, and also have trouble recognizing things like how they are feeling in a given moment/why they are reacting the way they are

* Tend to view anything new as potentially life-threatening

* Traumatized children rarely spontaneously talk about their trauma/issues- they tend to ruminate and think about sharing before they do it

* Learned helplessness: because their trauma occurred at an age when they were powerless to do anything about it, they may then act helpless/powerless when they are reminded of their trauma in any way

* Also likely to have issues such as ADHD, learning and cognitive difficulties, etc.

*I also included some graphics with info on unhealthy coping mechanisms and tendencies lmfao that could help with ideas or whatever

Graphics/article

Anyway sorry for the long ramble (I feel like I’ve been saying that to you a lot lately LOL)

CHINESE MAFIA ANON DARLING, YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE??????? 🥰❤️

OH MY GOD-

I am freaking outtttt! Like, I have so so many things to refer to and I will definitely read the article, but also this is incredibly interesting to me! I love learning more about psychology!

This is going to be an amazing guide for me to check Clover's behaviour and her reactions to certain things and AAAAAAA-

I'm gonna memorize this! Darling you're absolutely amazing and I can't thank you enough for this, thank you so so so much!?

Terribly sorry if I bother you with all these questions but like, do you know how...mmm, how these attachment issues/trauma can manifest in an actual relationship? Because I also feel like a lot of these will (and I will incorporate it into the chapters) at the beginning of their "courtship" aka when Clover is still in denial/trying to push him away, but like, aside from that? Because I have this HC that even when Clover acknowledges her feelings for Benedict, she might force herself to keep him at arm's length and this quote;

May have trouble with physical contact as well- may be overwhelming because she is not used to it; may react uncomfortably to being touched or only tolerate it, especially initially; may begin to crave it as she begins to get a more “normal” view of physical touch

Actually makes a lot of sense in terms of the progress of their relationship, but this;

Learned helplessness: because their trauma occurred at an age when they were powerless to do anything about it, they may then act helpless/powerless when they are reminded of their trauma in any way

Made me think, because as you said, even if it's not the same with everyone, I feel like it kind of worked in the opposite way? And obviously she will have an incredibly hard time opening up to him, but when in a relationship, would it be uncharacteristic if she started trusting him while also being her distant self? Like, some clues about her home life here and there to show she is slowly getting comfortable or would she force herself to maintain her "strong" front in a way?

[the-one-0]

Courtiers and MС who has psychological problems.

Valdemar

Do not expect too stormy support from them. The maximum they can do in this case is to invite you to their examination in order to better study this phenomenon and check your reaction to different things.

They will express their condolences in words, but you will not catch a drop of emotion in them – for Valdemar this is nothing more than a diagnosis, and they are not a psychologist to conduct conversations with you.

Valdemar likes it when receptions go smoothly. With your permission, they give you various kinds of herbs and decoctions as an experiment to see your reaction.

Some of these potions really work and Valdemar often gives you a small dose, recording your observations.

Despite the lack of emotional support, it becomes easier for you.

– Valdemar, how can your psyche remain so strong? Isn't anything bothering you?

– I am not a human being, unlike you, so problems of this kind are alien to me, MC.

In the end, you get an effective prescription sedative, selected specifically for your body after a series of consultations.

Vulgora

Looking at them, it is impossible to guess that there is at least a pinch of compassion in them.

Looking at them, you are not sure that such things are worth sharing with Vulgora, but eventually they will find out everything on their own.

You expect the worst, such as rude taunts, but the Pontifex just sighs and surprisingly calmly tells you what you should have told earlier.

Vulgora is far from an expert in the field of psychological assistance, but this does not prevent them from trying to support you when it is especially difficult.

Always remind you that you are not alone. No, don't expect a bunch of warm words from them. Their help is very peculiar: Vulgora will roughly pat you on the shoulder, saying: "Well, what the hell are you crying for? Pick up the snot, we will overcome it! "

Surprisingly, it works. The pontifex doesn't need to say too much to give you hope again.

To improve your condition, if you wish, they take you with them to training and hunting, where you quickly relax, because Vulgarities will not let you feel sad.

Volta

She innocently bats her eyes and asks quietly: "Is MC sick?". That's when you have to explain to her what this thing is.

"Volta is insanely sorry that you feel this way, how can Volta help you?"

She becomes more agitated and sensitive around you, sometimes shows excessive care and tries her best to entertain during difficult periods.

Volta can be too sentimental and then she hugs you tightly, not wanting to let go for a long time.

But when the hard periods are over, she will never remind you of them, so that you feel good.

Soon you will recognize that it is easier to go through difficult periods with her. Volta is always there and helps you overcome it.

Valerius

Yes, in most cases this person behaves just disgusting, but if you are in a close relationship, he seeks to learn absolutely everything about you: the best and the worst.

One day Valerius approached you with a question that you least expected: "Are you sick?"

When you didn't know what to say to that, the consul, not expecting a clear answer, timidly hugged you. This happened for the first time during your friendship.

Since then, he has promised to be there. Valerius has spared no money to hire you a quality psychologist and pay for a session for several months.

The consul reacted negatively to your awkward refusals and soon convinced you that this was the first necessity for you.

Every time Valerius never tired of asking how the progress was progressing. It's very important to him.

If necessary, he does not spare funds for prescribed medications.

His eyes sparkle when he sees that you are getting better thanks to his help and he does not require anything in return.

Vlastomil

Honestly, he's trying. Can't worms calm you down?

When he realizes that the worms are powerless here, he tries to deal with the problem in more in detail.

Having a rather weak empathy, Vlastomil shifts from one foot to the other and tells you: "This is terrible, MC, I would so like to help..."

As a result, he is looking for his own ways to help you. No, it's not worms. And not even red beetles. On the territory of his estate there is a lush blooming garden, where he often takes you for a walk. He doesn't like butterflies, but he admires them for you.

Never loses patience, even when you are in the deepest depression and do not react to anything. Vlastomil is sitting next to you and trying to take care of you in every possible way, like a parent taking care of a child.

Regularly talks to you about your well-being, asks a lot of questions. You should not be annoyed if they are too personal, because in this way Vlastomil wants to get to know you better and provide more effective support.

Frequent heart-to-heart conversations and tea parties. With Wiggler.

[zoeykallus]

How do you think the bad batch boys would help their significant other who wants to learn to workout? I’ve decided to start properly exercising for my health and oddly enough one of the things I think about is one of the batchers encouraging me. Except for cross. I feel like he would sit on my back and make me do push-ups.

Interesting question! I thought I did one like this just in spicy, I'm pretty sure I did, but I can't find it somehow (and I'm pretty bummed about it)... PS: you are not entirely wrong about Crosshair.

The Bad Batch x Reader HC's - Workout

Hunter

His main focus is endurance and agility combined with some strength training. Hunter is nimble and fit as a fiddle. He will show you exercises to strengthen your endurance and little tricks to train your reaction speed in combat.

"Endurance is the ability to sustain a performance for an extended period of time despite fatigue and to recover quickly afterwards."

He will do jogging laps and strength training with you, exploring and pushing your limits together.

Echo

Be balanced, stay focused and keep your heart fit. Echo is a fan of cardio and push-ups as well as pull-ups. He doesn't have much of his body left, so most of his own training is limited to his upper body.

"Body control is also very important. Knowing your limits and staying balanced, even when things are going bump and grind. Your body responds when you lose your nerve, when you get shaky you lose body tension and that can be fatal in a fight or on rough terrain"

Echo will do obstacle courses with you, climb with you through rough terrain and show you how to stay focused and balanced.

Wrecker

What he does most is strength training, mainly weightlifting. He knows you can't lift the same as him, don't worry. He's not going to overwork you at all. The strength he has is also in his genes not just in training, he is aware of that.

He takes things slow, small barbell exercises. He shows you the right movements, gives you tips on your breathing and explains to you in which way you stress or train which muscles.

"Don't overdo it. A muscle tear is painful and we don't want that."

He is incredibly patient and playful. Training with him is physically demanding but also very fun.

Tech

Actually, he prefers to challenge your mind. He is in good shape but not nearly as dedicated and persistent in training as his brothers. Unless it's swimming. He's a damn good swimmer and he loves to do it.

"Swimming can definitely be used as an endurance workout if you know how. Of course, it's important to keep an eye on your own safety, maybe have someone with you to keep an eye on you, and never swim too far out in open water, but swim close to the shore in case you cramp or eventually lose strength."

Tech has had back problems from a young age. Slim and tall as he is, he actually has to take care of his training regularly. Swimming is a great way to strengthen his back muscles. However, all other training methods are not his cup of tea.

Crosshair

Fast and agile with an incredible reaction speed. Crosshair is a fast, enduring runner. He'll run with you mainly.

He will be brash and complacent at first if you can't keep up, but he will gradually adapt to you until you slowly catch up and you are on a similar level.

He's going to give you quite the workout, so brace yourself. Mainly he does it to show off a bit. Well, he just likes to impress you. He won't admit that, though.

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

[crowdearest]

I had mine taken out yesterday (woohoo!!!) Along with my cervix, tubes, and both ovaries (I don't plan on using them and I have a good steady supply of hrt). So my experience is pretty limited right now and I'm also on (shockingly light) drugs, so take my my info with a grain of salt. Sorry about how long it is

Mine was outpatient (home the same day) and beforehand I got super lucky with a very affirming surgical team. It was mostly checking in about paperwork and feelings and all that and got to meet everyone. They put a tube in my hand and got me some fluids and sent me back to the surgical room. We made small talk (the worst part for me) and then I was off to sleep

Woke up with the shakes (was cold and also anesthesia just does that sometimes), def wasn't so bad. Just chillaxed in bed with a 1-1 nurse to keep an eye on me. Eventually when I was more awake and talkative I discovered I had a catheter, which she asked to use to add some water to my bladder so that I could try using the restroom to make sure I could do so normally. Went well and moved to stage 2 of pacu

They brought my mom in and gave me a snack and water and all that and made sure I had my meds for home and then sent me home

It's important to take it easy (I got lucky I didn't have a reaction to the narcotics). Lots of laying propped up for the past 24 hours. It feels like I've had an organ removed because I did, but it definetly isn't too painful. Feels kinda like cramps, urinary urgency (from the catheter) and exhaustion.

If you're able to have one or two people to help take care of you, do. If not you could potentially get by (don't recommend, I've been relying on my people a lot.) Be sure to just listen to your body, and if anything makes pain worse, don't do it (bending, rolling, sitting, standing, lifting, etc, and especially don't bare down)

Also a few more slightly tmi things:

if you can use a cool cloth or gentle bidet, it may help with the burning (if you get any) from the catheter (also azo potentially, but ask your team)

you may have heavier bleeding than I am, be sure you know where some pads are, no tampons or cups or anything. Only external stuff.

My team told me 6weeks before attempting sex. The cuff can be very fragile before then. I can even think about it right now bc I'm sore, but some (very gentle) external stimulation has been helpful in terms of pain management for me, ask your team tho. I wasn't having much sex to begin with, but from what I've seen, most people's libido returns after the initial healing period.

All in all, feels like a mix between (mild for me) cramps, a bit of a rough work out, and very sleepy

Also funny note, came home to a cake on the counter that had a green "x" on it, like the tattoos they do on dogs and cats when they spay them. Thought that was funny

Congrats on your upcoming surgery! I hope that this was helpful info for you. Sorry it was a bit rambling :)

hellooo my fellow queers i have a question.

so my uterus is getting what it deserves this year (getting ripped from my stomach) but. there is way less information to find about how the recovery goes compared to top surgery. i know the basics as in how many weeks it takesn stuff. but.

how does it feel to recover from a hysterectomy? just in general but also with sex. please do not hestitate to give your least or most detailed accounts. my dms are also open if you want to tell me there.

any attemps by terfs n stuff to fearmonger me out of this decision by telling made up horror stories will not work i will do it regardless of what you tell me. i just want to know what exactly to expect.

to get some responses, if you give me ur experience i will send you a picture of my rabbit. or pet snake. or both. whichever you prefer.

[dilfdoctordoom]

On Tom Taylor, the Current Nightwing Run & Ableism

I did mention I was gonna do a post about it, so here we are. There are some things I want to make clear before we begin: the issue exploded on Twitter on the very first day of disabled Pride month; disabled people have been discussing the ableism in Taylor’s Nightwing run since it began; nobody has blamed Taylor for what happened to Barbara in 2011. We are, however, blaming him for the way she is written in his series during 2021. 

I am also going to be discussing the ableism in the fandom in this post. The reactions I have seen, from here to Twitter to TikTok, are showing not only a great misunderstanding of the situation, but a purposeful misunderstanding. The very real reasons disabled people are angry right now have been twisted to make us seem ridiculous and overly sensitive and I cannot help but feel that is very intentional.

Another quick addition: disabled people are not a monolith. Barbara Gordon spent over 20 years as a paralyzed wheelchair user. Stating (and I would like to note, never truly showing) that she is a part time cane user now is still erasing her disability. These things are not interchangeable.

So, with that out of the way, let’s begin.

Tom Taylor’s run is ableist. That is a fact of this situation. He made the active choice to include a version of Barbara Gordon that is ableist caricature. Story wise, the role that Barbara plays could have easily been filled by anyone else. There is no real season, within the narrative and outside of it, for Taylor to include this version of Barbara Gordon, who has received a decade of criticism from disabled people. It’s very well known that this iteration is problematic, to put it kindly, and Taylor is aware of that. 

He made the active decision to include her, anyway, showing, at the very least, that he is passively, if not actively, ableist. Passive ableism is still ableism and disabled people are allowed to take issue with that.

That alone is reason enough for disabled people to be angry. But that’s not why things exploded on Twitter.

On July 1st, the very first day of disabled pride month, the new design for Barbara was dropped. After months of teasing Barbara’s return to a wheelchair using Oracle (see: Last Days of The DC Universe, Batgirl (2016), etc), they debuted... a new Batgirl costume that the artist has openly said draws inspiration from the Burnside suit.

There’s a lot of issues to unpack here, so let’s start small: the issue with consciously calling back to Burnside. The Burnside era of Batgirl stories was... beyond awful. The villain of the series’ first arc, was an AI based on Barbara’s brain patterns when she was disabled. It was evil because of all the rage and pain Barbara felt. The actual Barbara, on the other hand, was good -- because she was able bodied. Because her PTSD had been tossed aside. It was a horrifically ableist era that drove the idea that Barbara’s life was terrible when she was disabled; that it was some horrible, twisted secret.

Comics have kept that narrative going. Barbara is seen hiding books on chronic pain; she reacts aggressively to the mere idea that she could be in a wheelchair again, acting like it would be weakness. Whereas Barbara had once been Oracle not because of, but in spite of, her disability, who was fantastic representation for the disabled community, she now acts like it is the most shameful thing in her life.

To call back to Burnside is to call back to that ableism and make no critique of it. If anything, it’s to embrace the ideas of that era.

There is also the design itself to consider. Many people have pointed out the inclusion of a back brace, as if that saves it from ableism -- it does not. Any person who has ever worn a back brace can take one look at this design and know that they did not consult a disabled person. Hell, by how impractical that thing is, I doubt they even Googled a picture of a back brace.

It’s a superficial acknowledgement that Barbara is supposed to be disabled. Something that was apparently thrown in to appease the numerous complaints of Barbara being able bodied; something that no one working on it put any effort into.

When it comes to aids, this is not a new thing for Barbara in Infinite Frontier. She’s said to be using a cane occasionally, that we got a better look at in Batman: Urban Legends, and as any cane user can tell you... that is not a cane that could feasibly be used. It’s another pathetic attempt to acknowledge that Barbara is supposed to be disabled, without actually doing anything of importance.

[IMAGE ID:  A segmented cane with a tri-pointed handle with a wrist strap. There is a stripe across the sections to connection them, labelled “solar battery charger buttons”. The text reads: “telescoping antenna doubles as cane or weapon if needed”. END ID]

Dropping this design (which we have now established to be problematic) on the very first day of disabled pride month is a sickening move. The very first day, and DC has doubled down on their disability erasure, thrown in superficial things like a back brace to act like it’s fine.

Tom Taylor is definitely involved in this, whether you like it not. No, he is not in anyway responsible for the events of the New 52 and what they did to Barbara Gordon, but that does not absolve him of blame for what is currently being done to her in his run.

When the design dropped, it started trending due to disabled fans reactions. To be clear: we were directly calling out the ableism in this design. This was Tom Taylor’s response:

[IMAGE ID: A tweet from TomTaylorMade that says: “Hey, @Bruna_Redono_F I think our new Batgirl suit is getting some attention.” He then adds a winky face emoji and tags @jesswchen and @drinkpinkkink. Attached are a screenshot showing that Batgirl is trending in the United States and a picture of the design itself. END ID]

This is him, bragging about how the disabled community reacted. Perhaps before this tweet, you could’ve made an argument that he was not ableist, but after he flaunted the fact that disabled people were rightly furious over this, like it was something to be proud of? No. If you are defending him, you are a part of the problem.

Taylor has included ableist writing in his Nightwing run, beyond the inherent ableism that comes with the current iteration of Barbara Gordon (whose inclusion, yet again, is his decision).

[IMAGE ID: A panel from Nightwing #79. Barbara and Dick are standing in his apartment. Barbara is saying: “I have some pretty new technology holding my spine together. I’m happy to do most things -- eat pizza in the park, take down low-level thugs -- but leaping from rooftops seems... unwise.” END ID]

What Barbara says in the panel above has bothered a lot of disabled people. The implication that she couldn’t “eat pizza in the park’ and “take down low-level thugs” without a spinal implant that conveniently erases her disability is... fucked up, to put it mildly. Those are both things that Barbara has done in a wheelchair. The first one is something wheelchair users can do and the implication that it’s not is beyond offensive.

But, let’s leave Barbara behind for a moment. I have previously mentioned that disabled people have been discussing the ableism present in this run long before July -- and that ableism is not only centred on Barbara. Dick is also a player in all this.

Dick Grayson was shot in the head. I don’t believe I need to retread the story, but just in case: Dick was shot in the head by KGBeast, developed amnesia from the event, and went by Ric Grayson for a long enough period in comics. If you have been active within the DC fandom for the past year or so, you know all about this controversial storyline and its fallout.

The Ric Grayson arc concluded itself the issue before Taylor became the writer for the series and ever since his tenure has begun, Taylor has completely ignored the reality of Dick being a disabled man. We understand this is comics, that things do not function the way they do in our world, but still -- it is clear that this gunshot wound to the head has affected Dick massively. We had an entire arc dedicated to how he struggled to find himself in the aftermath.

Taylor is choosing to write Dick as an able-bodied man, despite his canonical injuries and how they would impact his life.

This man is choosing to give empty gestures towards Barbara being a disabled woman (as discussed above, the completely dysfunctional back brace, etc) whilst writing her as able-bodied as possible. He writes both Dick and Barbara as able bodied as humanly possible. That is ableist. He is ableist. This is the same man that said he made a dog disabled ‘in honour of Barbara’. I do not think I need to elaborate on why that is bad.

The least he could’ve done, was get a sensitivity reader. We know that Taylor is not beyond getting people from marginalized communities to consult on his work (see: Suicide Squad), so why, when writing two characters that should be disabled, one that the disabled community have been criticising for a decade, does he not reach out to a single disabled person? A mere Google search could’ve improved the situation massively. In both the new design and the current writing, it is beyond clear that this is not just an able-bodied person writing it -- it’s an ableist person.

He could have listened to the numerous disabled fans that spoke out. Instead, he chose not only to refuse to do that, but to describe justifiable anger as ‘raging’. He treated us like we were crazy for daring to speak out about blatant ableism being parading around of us in our pride month.

Tom Taylor has failed to do the bare minimum and in doing so, he is, at very, very least, guilty of complicity. Again: passive ableism is still ableism.

The argument at hand is not just about Barbara Gordon and the continuing ableism that shines out from her current writing. The argument is about the treatment of disabled characters in his run. It has also become about the way he treats physically disabled people.

We also can’t have this conversation without acknowledging the fandom’s role in it all. I waited a day to write this up, to allow all the reactions to flood in... and I am sickened.

We have everything across the board. Able-bodied people that have actually listened to disabled people, who have supported us (which is deeply appreciated). Able-bodied people who may have had good intentions, but a skewed sense of the situation and perpetuating some of the more insidious lies being spread around (IE. that this is only about the new costume).

There are, obviously, the ableist reactions, though, that we will be discussing here. People deeming the current issues as ‘crazy’, calling disabled people ‘overly sensitive’ and ‘delusional’. Many people have completely glossed over the examples given for why Taylor, specifically, is ableist, and instead have resorted to telling disabled people that we are wrong and should be mad at DC instead.

It’s important to note that Tom Taylor is an adult man. He doesn’t need a fandom to attack disabled people for daring to call him out. He is not the victim in this situation; he has, for quite a few disabled people, been the aggressor.

I have seen claims that Infinite Frontier is a ‘slow burn’, implying that disabled people need to patient... as if we have not waited a decade for less ableist writing. There is a complete refusal from able-bodied fans to actually listen to what disabled people are saying. They would much rather rush to the defence of the (honestly rather mediocre) current Nightwing run. 

Disabled fans know that comic book spaces are ableist. We know that both DC and Marvel and many of their writers are ableist. We are still allowed to be pissed as hell about it and acting like the current reaction being had right now is disabled people being ‘overdramatic’ is yet another example of how the able-bodied side of the fandom both refuses to listen to and undermine disabled people when we call out ableism.

We know it when we see it. We always do and we always will and we will always be able to recognize it far faster than an able-bodied person. If this many disabled fans are coming out and talking about an issue, calling it ableism, then it’s time for you shut up and listen.

Stop being a part of the problem and start supporting disabled fans for once.

[amysubmits]

“Just Knowing” & Communication

I got an ask recently asking if I could write something about how doms seem to sometimes “instinctively know” things about their sub, and how communication plays into that. 

I thought it was a great point, and I had an experience that I’d been wanting to share in some way, that I thought would work well within that concept. Anyway, here goes...

I have shared experiences where CD reads my needs seamlessly. Those moments can feel almost magical and that makes me want to share them. I have occasionally heard from people who seem to think CD is nearly capable of reading my mind, as a result of posts like that. It’s not my intention to give that impression. 

There are occasional moments where I am shocked at how he knows things I didn’t say. I’ve also shared that sometimes those moments where he perfectly meets my needs are often the moments where I feel the most owned. That’s because him knowing and meeting my needs feels so intensely intimate, and so much of our D/s comes down to emotional intimacy.

He isn’t a mind reader, though. We have been together over a decade now, and he’s observant. I think that deserves a big mention, when discussing how he ‘just knows’ things about me. He notices my body language, and how I react to things. He learns a lot about me by simply paying close attention. This is really important to me. Him naturally watching me, noticing my mood and such, is a big way that he makes me feel loved. I couldn’t be with someone who wasn’t naturally drawn to try to learn me, and pay close attention to me. Just him being someone who pays attention is a huge part of how I feel loved. It shows me that he wants to know as much as he can about me, and that he wants to meet my needs. More than that, his desire to want to learn my needs period, matters. There are some people who just don’t wish to get that deep with their partner, they don’t care to know their partner like the back of their had. That would be a problem, for me, because I do want that level of intimacy. Part of how I knew that CD had that desire for deeper intimacy, was how he tried to learn what he could by observing me. 

At the same time, being mindful of your loved one’s body language, facial expressions and behaviors only goes so far. You can’t observe your way into knowing exactly what someone wants or needs. You just can’t. Certain things just have to be explicitly stated. While a good portion of our emotional intimacy comes from paying close attention to each other, more of it comes from our communication.

The truth is, there have been times where I’ve been frustrated that CD didn’t catch something. I’ve occasionally had the emotional reaction of almost feeling neglected because he didn’t notice something about me. And that? Is not a healthy reaction for me to have. That reaction is something I have to try to be conscious of, and I can’t allow myself to run away with those feelings. I have to recognize them and fight back against them. Because I can’t expect him to read my mind, or to pick up on everything, to ‘just know’ everything, or anything, really. If he isn’t aware of something, it is my responsibility to communicate. 

We were new to D/s in particular, we talked about our needs and wants all the time, often daily. Getting started with D/s requires really thorough communication so that you know the boundaries and limits of the dynamic, and so that you know what is expected of each of you. Even though we tried to hammer out our dynamic in advance, we found ourselves experiencing scenarios that we weren’t sure how they ‘should’ be handled with our D/s, because we couldn’t pre-plan our D/s for how to go about every possible scenario that life may throw at us. So whenever we experienced something new and didn’t know how to handle it, we’d have to discuss how we wanted to handle it. Or in there cases we’d handle a situation and then realize we wished it had been handled differently, and we’d discuss that and plan to do differently next time. 

After a while (many months?) it got to where we had the basics down and we didn’t need to talk about things as often anymore. We didn’t have to discuss it multiple times a week anymore, but perhaps a couple times a month was sufficient. Still, the frequency ebbs and flows. We go through phases, even now, 6 years in, of discussing our D/s more or less often. It mainly depends on whether we’re facing new things in life or making changes to our rules or the rest of our dynamic, or whether life is normal and our dynamic is unchanged. If we make changes, that means we’ll communicate about our D/s more often for a while, usually. Tons of what we know about each other and our needs are things we’ve learned through all that communication. Way more than we’ve learned by just observing each other. 

Our “meta-talks” (discussions about our D/s) are perhaps one of the areas that I don’t give enough attention to on this blog. They’re often very private feeling, so it’s hard to feel comfortable sharing much about them. 

A couple of months ago after a meta-talk, we came to the conclusion that it would be helpful for us to focus on making sure I feel very seen. It wasn’t that I had stopped feeling seen...but more that our current life circumstances were making me need to feel more seen than usual. Anyway, CD had me make him a list of things that made me feel seen, to share with him.

The things I shared on that list were all things he had done “naturally” before. So it was more about sharing with him what things he does that make me feel particularly seen. Still, I did over-think it, a little bit. I wondered if it would feel different for him to do these things for me after I shared them with him, rather than doing them purely instinctually, like he had in the past. Would it feel less genuine? Would I be able to absorb it and really effectively feel see if I suspected he was doing this for the purpose of making me feel seen? 

Early on, I did feel a bit bashful or self-conscious when I noticed him doing those things a little bit more often. I felt a bit insecure like “Oh, he just thinks he has to do that because I need to feel more seen.” and for some reason that cheapened it a little in my mind, and also made me feel a bit selfish or something. Worrying about being a burden on people is a deep seeded insecurity of mine that comes in up all sorts of ways. So it’s not surprising that my brain tried to twist this into ‘he just feels obligated to’. Even early on when I was feeling those insecurities, I was feeling seen, at the same time.  As more time went on though, those insecurities softened and I was able to recognize that these things were feeling fulfilling to him, too, which further eased my insecurities. 

This is just one example of how our direct communication has benefitted our D/s. When this type of thing occurs over the course of many years, I hope you can imagine how that can assist with creating those “he just knows” moments. 

I think a lot of good relationships have similar experiences with hesitating to share exactly what you want from your partner. The love is there, the good intent is there, but unless you tell your partner exactly what makes you feel the best...you can’t magically expect them to know. Yet many of us have this instinct that “I can’t tell them exactly how I’d like them to treat me, or it won’t be as ‘real’”. 

I think D/s often complicates this issue even farther. Subs hesitate to ask for ‘too much’ because they don’t want to be too needy, or to feel like they’re taking charge or telling their doms what to do. Which I think is a valid concern. In my view, the answer to that potential problem isn’t to avoid sharing what make you feel good. Instead, it’s just to be mindful of the way that you are communicating, so that you are sharing the knowledge of your needs or desires without telling them what to do. 

Communicating in great detail is a huge part of how we find the intimacy that we’re after with D/s. Understanding in detail what makes each other feel dominant and submissive does SO much to assist us with keeping our D/s on track, and to keep each other feeling loved and cared for. These deep, difficult, detailed discussions are also helpful to our D/s because they make me realize how safe our relationship is. That sense of security allows me to let go and be more submissive. 

As I said earlier, I understand that instinct that if you tell someone exactly what you want, and then they do it, your initial instinct may be to feel like it’s less meaningful when they do it. Like asking for it somehow ‘cheapened’ it. 

I think that is a largely misguided instinct, though. I think that if you tell someone what feels good to you, and they do it just to placate you or please you? You can tell they’re just phoning it in. And if you tell them what makes you feel good, and they do it because they enjoy making you feel good? You’ll feel that too. 

It’s similar to how starting D/s worked for us. When I first asked for it, I worried it would be something he did just for me. But once he found meaning in it himself? I could tell that our D/s was fulfilling for him, that it was giving him joy, and that he was really feeling the connection with me through this dynamic. It was just easy to see that he was really ‘feeling it’. A similar thing can happen with "smaller” things such as specific acts of love, care or service.