#I know literally nothing about them btw I just support trans rights and trans wrongs

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

some utdr human kids

[thekaratcake-blog]

Theeeere we go, you know better about everyone else's experiences but yourself, nobody can have experiences that you haven't personally seen. And if we're talking about the "You can't say *physically* disabled in your post, that's exclusionist!" post, not one single reply contains anyone saying anything like that to you. They do contain you being breathtakingly ableist, though. I'm also seeing you be transphobic, intersexist... and the post I spotted you on AGAIN is you telling wheelchairs that they don't experience that kind of ableism, actually, because you haven't noticed it. Because everything outside of your plane of view is factually nonexistent, of course, and everyone else is just lying about it. You're a self centered person who believes that you are the center of the universe, and just proved that again. There's nothing chill about you.

I scrolled seven reply chains back to find you being an asshole, the next incident was three, so deleting the posts where you treat other people like shit was a lie for sure. I'll believe you've stopped when you manage to go longer than a little over a week.

When did I say I deleted literally any posts? I'm sorry are you reading something else lol

And yeah of course I'm deeply self centered for saying stuff like "no not all of modern pop culture is designed specifically to hurt intersex people" have you even seen the absurd shit they do?

Although you probably agree with them don't you? Funn how a trans person can be oh so transphobic, how someone who spends their time learning about intersex people to better support them, having long conversations with actual SANE intersex people about how better to change my vocabulary so I'm not hurting them

But when I call out a blatantly absurd and untrue claim suddenly I'm some sort of evil monster, right? I didn't delete shit nor did I claim to because nothing I've said is wrong, you're again, on the same side as people telling me to kill myself

That tells me just extremely clearly that you guys never gave a shit about actual transphobia, actual ableism, actual intersexism, it was all about reinforcing your own view and making yourselves feel better, I am disabled, I am trans, and while I'm not intersex I do my absolute best to listen to real sane intersex people about their struggles

But when I hear people say shit that's not talking about their own experiences btw, it's funny you all keep pretending like making sweeping statements about the queer community, about MILLIONS of people, is somehow "nah I'm just talking about person experience!" and the wheelchair one, are you dense enough to believe that ACTUALLY happens? What weird fantasy land do you live in, but yeah of course I'm "breathtakingly" transphobic, god you must be so unbelievably sheltered lol, nothing I've done is transphobic by any measure, just because you believe the blatant misinformation on nothing more than their word, despite even a little bit of exposure to the world around you being enough to show you that they're talking absolute bullshit and claiming insane shit

I swear to god you guys must be actually stupid or something, I don't know how else you come to these insane conclusions, that it's somehow wrong of me to go "Hey saying that the ENTIRE queer community will dismiss all of trans men's dysphoria including other trans people is a complete overexaggeration to the point of it being a blatant lie" when that's just observably true if you've spent any time off tumblr or around decent people

One of the people I was talking to literally admitted that their "friends" dismiss their dysphoria and they still stick around them for some fucking reason, at best they're people who get in weird circles, don't leave when there are a thousand red flags and then pretend this represents a community of actual millions, at worst it's people making up shit or making insane claims

But go on, would you like to defend the claim that all of american pop culture is designed specifically with the goal of hurting intersex people? Go on, tell me that you somehow believe that's real and just a claim of personal experience

[butchbarbieagainstterfs]

Anyone can call themselves anything and identify as anything, that doesn't mean that they share consistent ideologies.

Generally you do share a consistent ideology though: you don't like trans folk. You do not want them to exist.

And I am sure you will claim that isn't true, but you constantly side with people actively trying to make life harder for trans folk. If trans people stopped existing tomorrow, you would be glad of it.

And if I shared a view on a marginalised group of people with literal nazis, particularly the majority of nazis, I'd be reanalysing my beliefs asap.

In the same way that there is no central trans authority who reviews all the Correct Trans Points of View, there is no central gender critical or """"terf""" or radical feminist authority who reviews all members for ideological consistency. I disagree with these people and I think they're interested in the topic for the wrong reason (easy dunkings on trans people) but I have no power to kick them out or even to explain to all of them why they're wrong.

Yet if one trans person says or does something you disagree with, it apparently represents us all. Consistently. I only bring stuff like the original screenshot because it is a consistent thing within your movement.

You bring up that tiktok comment section and I just want to say that I disagree with people saying that stuff. I do think people need to lay off the "egg" jokes for example and have said as much myself before, because someone else's gender journey isn't any of our business and it is weird to claim someone is trans when you do not know that is the case.

That said, I think it's far-fetched to pretend trans men are forcing testosterone into the veins of gnc women who do not want it and I think that if you are going to transition because people on TIkTok made jokes about it, you maybe shouldn't be on the internet unsupervised.

if you care about women, then consider why so many women who used to wholeheartedly agree with you (myself included) left your movement. Why are so many lesbian women, bisexual women, gnc women, autistic women, and third world women disillusioned with the feminism you're offering? Why do we feel that you have failed to advocate for our needs? Do you understand why we are "defectors" or "radicalized"?

I have actually considered and written about this before and, based on what a lot of you have told me, many of you left simply because one trans person said something you didn't like. Which...suggests to me you were never really an ally to start with.

Many Nazis don't start off as Nazis. Is it okay for them to become radicalized just because they didn't like some things they saw? I say this because they agree with you on trans folk btw. They showed up multiple times in support of Kellie Jay Keen

Also: be careful not to speak for entire groups of people. I am a lesbian, gnc and autistic and you have done far more harm to me than any trans person ever has.

Because of your movement, people like me are getting harassed in the women's bathroom. You as a gnc woman might accept that. I do not.

Your movement has perpetuated the idea that I can't know myself and what I want for my body because I have autism. You as an autistic person may be okay with that. I am not.

Your movement has told me because I'm not transphobic, I'm not really a lesbian. You as someone who is not a lesbian need to be incredibly careful about who you use lesbians against tbqh.

Just like I won't give up on socialism because right-wingers and nazis are attempting to infiltrate it, I will not give up on the notion that biological sex is a meaningful category, axis of oppression, and necessary for feminist analysis. When conservative normies stop caring about the issue, I will still be here, because I am an autistic bisexual gnc woman, my experience as a female person has indelibly changed the course of my life, and I am committed to nothing less than the liberation of female people, and social justice more broadly.

No one has said you cannot talk about your experiences. But trans people exist too and are going to talk about their experiences as well. Your issues are not more important than everybody else's, nor are they a universal experience. We can talk about more than one issue at a time and this is not the oppression olympics.

I've experienced something like this myself in real life, where two acquaintances decided without telling me that I must be non-binary because, well, someone like me couldn't possible be a woman, right? gnc women are not taken seriously by any "side".

I'm sorry you were told that. I myself was called a boy by a cisgender woman (I'm genderfluid but she didn't know that and neither did I at the time) simply because of how I present. I know she does not speak for all cisgender women and your acquaintances do not speak for the majority of trans people. Nor do they make terfs making the same kind of "jokes" okay.

I'm going to block you now because I am not sure you are here in good faith and I really do not want to dedicate my time and energy writing long posts unpacking rhetoric that I have already unpacked multiple times for free. But please consider reading through this and thinking about why I feel the way I do. I have told you why I think you feel the way you do. And consider: I am not the only person you claim to want to protect that feels this way either.

Some tweets from TERFs about Emma Watson simply because she got a haircut again.

“What does she actually DO these days, apart from wringing every last drop of her fading fame out for clicks and pics?” You’re thinking of JK Rowling, not Emma Watson ❤️

[takamishinko]

karasuno and nekoma scenario + headcanons for ftm reader

pronouns: he/him

warnings: dead naming, slight harassment and tranphobic comments like using the wrong pronouns.

a/n: this was a request from @mi-ts i hope you enjoy this and this is what you're looking for :) i added in some headcanons of my own as well. pls tell me if i said anything offensive in there by accident, i was also super tired when i wrote this so pls excuse me for any mistakes :'D

karasuno:

i feel like the entire team is pretty supportive and definitely not transphobic

the only person that i could possibly think of that doesn't understand transitioning would be tanaka but even then he'll still support you in whatever decision you make

let's start off with the first years

hinata and kageyama definitely uses correct pronouns though i feel like kageyama might forget sometimes but he'll just use they instead

tsuki doesn't care much and i don't think he cares a lot about anything other than maybe yamaguchi

yamaguchi would be really sweet about it, correct pronouns 100%, no mistakes or mess ups. he'll probably pay more attention to you and help you with whatever you need

kinoshita and narita are both super supportive people so they wouldn't care that much but they would definitely use right pronouns and all that

ennoshita is kind of the leader of the group right? i feel like he would advocate your pronouns only if ur comfortable with it though

alright third years

suga.

supportive supportive supportive super supportive

makes sure your absolutely 120% comfortable with your surroundings and if there are people bothering you he's not scared to get asahi and daichi to square up with them

daichi is pretty lowk about it. respectful of course. always tries to help you with suga but doesn't end up helping a lot but that's ok

lastly asahi would be…

pretty nervous about making sure he doesn't use the wrong pronouns or make you uncomfortable

like overly cautious but you find it funny and adorable

__________

"yo y/n! what took you so long? practice started 10min ago." tanaka shouted from across the gym.

"sorry…i got caught up with something." you replied with a sad tone in your voice.

the team immediately noticed something wrong. you were usually a pretty cheerful person and sulking like that didn't seem right to them. 

"woah woah, you good man?" noya said while tapping you shoulder.

"yah i'm fine guys, thanks." you lied.

"even a dumbass like hinata and king over there would know you're not fine, what's wrong." said tsuki.

"hey we heard that! but seriously y/n-kun, is everything ok?" hinata said while walking over with kageyama. 

"it's nothing much really… some second years called me uhh… "baby girl" today and asked me if i had anything to do after school. they wouldn't let me go either even after i told them i had somewhere else to be…. and the fact that i'm not a girl anymore." 

"they fucking what now?" suga said with an incredibly hostile smile on his face. 

"do you know their names?" daichi asked.

"yah its f/n l/n and f/n and l/n…" 

"those two sons of bitches??" tanaka and noya screamed in unison. 

"yah do you guys know them or something?" 

"they're in the class beside ours, we don't know much about them except that they're annoying as fuck. they've been making girls uncomfortable all year long." noya replied.

"oh… they must've thought i was a girl since i didn't wear a… y'know." 

"that's still no reason to do that to you y/n. first of all you weren't comfortable with them flirting with you, second of all you also told them that you're a guy and they still called you that." asahi said 

"yah that's true." daichi said with the rest of the team nodding their heads in agreement.

"don't worry y/n, we all know it's not your fault the binders don't work. no matter what you wear or how you look, the team will always see you as who you want to be!" suga said with a bright smile on his face this time.

a smile appeared on your face with warm thoughts entering your mind. knowing you have friends that care about you this much is truly a blessing you don't want to lose. 

"on a side note, suga and i know those 2 as well. in fact we know their homeroom teacher too, i'll go report to their teacher tomorrow. he loved suga and i, we were his best students." 

a small giggle came out of you and so did some happy tears. 

"thanks guys! it really means a lot." you said to all of your friends.

the rest of the practice was filled with joy and laughter. a few days later you received a handwritten apology from the two assholes you were talking about.

__________

nekoma:

same as karasuno i'm almost 100% sure none of them are transphobic and they would all be supportive. same case of tanaka with yamamoto though if anything

after you came out kuroo just gave you his signature smirk and a big thumbs up and continued to do his chemistry.

kai.

omg don't even get me started

he is SO supportive and just the nicest person possible

he's not aggressively supportive like suga but he's literally just always there for you. before you even realize you need something he already has it.

water, food, whatever it is.

yaku (personal nekoma fav), super chill about it

"oh cool, just let me go tell lev so he doesn't mess up your pronouns."

"lev for the last fucking time it's y/n and he/him it's not that hard to remember."

bonks lev everytime he messes up but he eventually got it

fukunaga just goes: 

":3 👍" 

so precious, never messes up your pronouns and names

kenma definitely doesn't mess up, remembers it well and i think he would just be like:

"cool, make sure you let the team know. especially lev…"

yamamoto would maybe mess up but he's trying his best

inuoka and shibayama:

i love these 2 so much btw^

inuoka would be excited cuz this is the first time someone ever came out as trans to them.

shibayama is just beside inuoka also being excited and nodding his head agreeing with everything he says

in conclusion these 2 are baby

__________

"hey guys what's up!" 

"ah y/ns here." kai said with s bright smile on his face, greeting you to practice.

"yo! what's up we're just getting started can you help me set up the net?" yaku said while waving over to you.

"yah i'm on my way give me a sec." 

"kenma go help yaku-san get off your game." kuroo said while poking at kenma.

"give me a sec. I'm almost finished." 

inuoka and shibayama were on the side listening to yamamoto talk about something. you and shōhei rushed over to help yaku with the net. 

"there, all done. thanks guys. kuroo let's start practice." yaku yelled

"yah everyone get ready-" 

just as kuroo said that, two boys entered the gym. they didn't look like they were up to anything good so kuroo stepped up and asked them what they're here for. 

"how can i help you two?" 

"we're just here to find d/n, oh there she is. hey~ you haven't answered our question yet, you free this weekend sweetheart?" one of the boys said as he attempted to move closer to you.

kuroo lost his shit immediately and pushed them away from you. 

"first of all his name is y/n, second of all it's he. lastly if you don't have anything else to say, please leave, our practice is about to start." 

"chill captain~ we just wanted to talk to this beautiful lady over here." 

"for the last fucking time you bastards it's-" yaku cut off kuroo before he could finish.

"leave it to me. you, tall one on the left, f/n l/n from c/n right?" yaku asked.

“y-yah why?” 

“your chemistry mark, 53% and you didn’t pass the test you took on thursday.”

“w-what ??! i don’t even know my mark yet how do you-”

“and you, the stick on the right, f/n l/n. you’re even worse, 49% as your total and your test? i’d embarrassed for you.”

“what the fuck?? w-who are you?!”

“yaku morisuke, 3rd year. the assistant for your chemistry teacher. now if you don’t want your marks leaked to the entire school i suggest you leave y/n here alone and get out.”

“tch yeah whatever !” the 2 boys said as they scurried away. 

“yaku-san!! that was so cool!!” everyone said.

“don’t worry about it! it’s what y/n deserves” he said with a huge thumbs up.

[thatfilthyanimal]

I really don't want to vent here but I also don't want to overload my friends so I'm just going to do it and suck it up, fuck it.

I feel pretty fucking horrible in a very deep way and I don't know how to talk to people about it. This started up around the beginning of April and I thought it was in relation to April just being generally rough on me because of how my dad died, but it hasn't let up yet. If anything, I feel worse. Way worse.

I'm guessing I need to raise the dosage of my medication and I'm actually really heartbroken about that in a way I don't know how to describe. How am I supposed to feel if shit is so horrible I have to take the highest possible dosage I can safely take of a medication? How am I supposed to feel calling up a psychiatrist I just told two months ago my dosage was stable and I was feeling great, to tell her "ha ha ha I high key hate life and want to die again, please, raise my shit so I can hold up the illusion that I'm not a fucking lost cause a little longer?"

So... some of the only stuff I'm really comfortable touching on here is the whole transphobia at the doctors, thing. After spending most of 2020 living at doctors because of unknown stomach pain and just trying not to fucking die from something during a global pandemic I'm at a loss now. Nobody ever figured out my pain issues, I've just changed around what I eat and it seems better... Sort of? But mostly my existence in general hurts because coming out as trans to my newer doctors has been... uncomfortable. Now it feels like every time they "ma'am" me or pointedly call me "a woman" or "female" in a phone call (where I'm specifically asking for help regarding getting on testosterone) I want to claw myself out of my own skin and bury myself deep in the ground where nobody ever has to see me again.

Literally all the shit that I was terrified of that kept me from admitting to myself I was trans this entire time is fucking real and-- I'm weak, I'm fucking weak and scared and tired because I've never needed so much help with something so desperately in my life and the ONE PLACE I should be able to get help from I'm... terrified of, now. I just want to cancel all my future appointments and just never leave my house again because what is the fucking point. I'll never look right and I'll never be taken seriously and my weight is always an issue some-fucking-how regardless of the actual problem, so just. Fuck. Why leave. Why go anywhere. Why try to take care of myself anymore just. why.

I knew this would happen if I came out, I knew admitting I was trans would be a challenge of my ability to continue to love myself and... you know, I do, I do love myself, and coming out has proven that more than anything, but the cost of that almost feels like it outweighs the euphoria of being myself.

But now I'm in that weird middle-state of my body and voice not "matching" my gender and nobody taking said gender seriously and. What do I do. I'm so terrified of this happening at another doctor's office that it hurts to try to reach out. Literally the nearest doctors that might help me are an hour and a half out in Chicagoland, if not Chicago proper. And things feel so uncomfortable here where I am that I may literally need to drive that hour and a half just for basic health care, not just the hormone therapy and. Like. It hurts.

If I had figured this out sooner while I was in Champaign, there was an endocrinologist there and the city was super LGBTQIA+ friendly and I'm kicking myself for not doing something before I moved three hours away. Getting help could have been maybe a 15 minute drive in my own city instead of an hour and a half into the heart of Chicago, which, btw, I fucking hate driving in because everyone out there drives like a crazy asshole.

Idk. I'm tired and I'm scared and worn down and I don't know how to ask for help. I tried with one of my local friends but, well, their life is busy and its always "oh I forgot to ask my friend about that place here that would help you, sorry, there's been so much going on" but. It's been months now. They were the one that suggested I reach out to said people about whatever place it is, and I don't want to be rude but also... are you going to help me? Because it sounds like my sorry ass is stuck going to Chicago in a global pandemic to get T and I'm really upset about it.

Like, if my friend can't even see it as important than I guess I just have to do everything alone. Just like I've had to with BPD.

This is getting way longer than I meant, and it's not even the worst thing just. I'm feeling vulnerable and isolated as hell and I need more support than I have and I'm too scared to ask for it. And most of the people I know can't do jack or shit about it because there's really nothing they can do, so like. Why ask them. Why tell them. Idk.

I'm talking to a therapist too, have been for months, and she's nice but she's not great for trans issues. She's supportive but it's not her specialty. Because I have borderline I have to kind of choose my battles when it comes to therapists... There are therapists that handle BPD and therapists that handle trans issues but my insurance doesn't cover one that specializes in both at once in this town. And BPD is super misunderstood-- the wrong therapist may admit me for just passive suicidal ideation not realizing it's a common and (generally non-life-threatening) part of BPD that doesn't hold real threat. Getting a therapist for trans issues that doesn't know how to read the weight of my depression/anxiety/suicidal thoughts and call them correctly is dangerous and... that's its own problem. I have to choose my battles here and it's really hurting me.

Like I really don't know what to do. Do I get a second therapist and risk that they may not understand BPD and may be overwhelmed and scared to work with me? God. I've never had two therapists at once and the thought is... idk. It hurts.

I just want to feel okay, and I don't. And I'm more tired and scared and feeling misunderstood than I've ever been and the idea of reaching for help is terrifying me. This feels like stuff I should only be unloading on a therapist, not my friends... my friends deserve better than that. But also I'm well aware of how my friendships will go if I start to use them to vent and seek help like this.

Idk. I wish I knew how to talk about everything that's wrong right now but I... can't. It sounds horrible and mean when I say it all and I don't want people to look at me like I'm fragile and someone to pity, but that seems to be my life and how people are going to view me. I basically exist as an example of what not to be. So. Idk. I'm tired and I want help but I'm scared to ask for it.

Past friends have taught me that if I seek help and cry to them that I'm a Problem that they need to distance from and. It hurts. There may be friends that do genuinely want me to come to them and I don't know how to try; the idea scares the shit out of me. Everyone I've ever opened up to (besides my partner) has eventually grown sick of me and I can't handle losing what support I have right now.

I need to hush cause this sounds blamey and I don't mean it that way. My life is just... highkey fucked and I'm trying to hold on and struggling about it.

I don't regret finally admitting to both myself and everyone else that I'm trans, but fuck, the weight of this level of medical rejection on top of the BPD feelings interfering with my ability to reach to friends for help just... it's so much. And I feel guilty complaining about it at all.

And every time I post something public about it I'm just giving people insight on why they should avoid me, or worse, exactly what they can do/say if they want to hurt me.

[ridasverkisto]

who are your top ten black clover characters and ships (romantic, platonic)? talk about them!

Oooooooh. This is gonna be a long one so buckle in. I’m also splitting the answer into two—so this is top ten ships, and I’ll do top ten characters in a separate post, because this is long. 😅

Before I get going, I’m just going to say this is in no particular order—I’m listing them in the order they come to mind, as I love all of these pairings for different reasons so it’s hard for me to rank them. I’ll also preface that for most of my pairings it usually doesn’t matter much to me whether it’s romantic or platonic, so long as they’re not. Y’know. Actual siblings/family/etc. Also for the purposes of this ask, I’m leaving out stuff like...the Black Bulls as a platonic ship tag. They’re found family, it’s sort of a given, so this isn’t going to focus on that. And before anyone asks, yes, I have crackships. I am not apologizing.

[If this needs a page break to keep from clogging tags lmk, btw]

1. Magna/Luck (and/or Magna & Luck, it’s the same to me)

What can I say? I’m a sucker for two dumbass best friends who share a brain cell living their best lives. Their dynamic is fun and interesting—Luck literally views Magna as fun and interesting and he loves bothering him because of how he reacts, while Magna started out hating it but grew incredibly fond of Luck’s antics.

They’re dumbasses, but they’re loveable dumbasses who bring out both the best and worst in each other, and I just love the way they interact. It’s great and I love them both so much 💕

2. Finral & Langris

Okay okay so. I know there’s baggage here, because Langris is an entitled little asshole trashbaby, but hear me out. Finral gets to be an older brother, exasperated with Langris and trying super hard to be a good sibling, while Langris is still a trashbaby but a softer one. Like.

They are Peak Sibling Energy, because I can see Langris insulting Finral because “polite interaction with my loser brother, how tf?” But the moment someone else tries to insult Finral, Langris gets annoyed. It’s the younger sibling Rights, only the sibling gets to insult the other siblings and if you try to get in on that fuck you. Meanwhile, Finral learns to be the responsible older sibling to Langris, and steps into being more responsible in other parts of his life while repairing his relationship with Langris.

Not going to lie, a lot of my love for this ship is because I’m probably projecting my own relationship with my own brother onto them to some extent, and my love for proper Sibling Energy has no bounds because that shit’s hilarious when done right.

Let Finral and Langris develop the weird half-unspoken language of siblings, let them reference embarrassing things and blackmail each other over stupid shit like “who’s going to go refill the teapot” or something!! Let them be petty and loving and protective as they learn to be siblings again, because growth!!!!

3. Julius & Yami & William

Why yes, I am a polyshipper. But mostly what I really like about this one is the history and the dynamics between the three of them.

On the one hand you have Julius, who’s hugely respected by the other two, basically mentored/parented them both, and loves them both a hell of a lot. (You can’t look at the way Julius looks at Yami and William and tell me that’s not love, fuck you)

On another, you have Yami; he’s the outcast, loner, stranger in a strange land who was given a support system and place to belong by Julius. He also struggles to understand the less forthright William, and is fiercely loyal. Like. This man loves and respects Julius so fucking much, and it’s shown through such small gestures, it’s amazing.

And finally, there’s William—who couldn’t chose between Julius and Patry, yeah. Who’s a coward and a troll and hides behind his words and masks, but has made the choice to atone for his mistakes. He feels a lot, and is so clearly trying to be better it hurts.

The way the three of them interact has a lot of history and intricacy behind it, and even with current events in the series, I really really love their relationship with each other. This isn’t a ship I love for fluff, but for the tension and aching weight of history and growing up that lies heavy on it. It’s got this lovely sort of pain to it that feels like nostalgia in the summer heat, knowing nothing is ever going to be like it was once and still deciding to hold onto what you have with both hands.

I never said I ship for fluff and romance—I’m here for dynamics, and these three have amazing dynamics. (I will note for this one that it’s one that I can’t see as romantic at all. Not the least bc Julius was literally in his twenties when Yami and William were like 15, bc ~fuck that shit~)

4. William/Dorothy/Rhya

Is this a crackship? Yes!

Have these characters barely if ever interacted on screen? Yes!

Am I probably the only person who thought of this ship and wants to see content for it? Yes!

Do I give a fuck? No!

Not gonna lie, I know this is a crackship of massive proportions. But I’m here for the dynamics and the dynamics here have the potential to just be so damn cathartic, okay?

If I go on a deep tangent about this ship it’ll end up being an entire essay, so that can wait for another day, so I’ll just...give you this: these three have a lot to give each other to challenge and help each other grow. There’s a lot of potential, and tension, and catharsis here. The contrasts and dynamics between the three of them would be interesting and immensely entertaining.

I’ll also shamelessly admit that a good portion of this is also fueled by my personal head canons of William being a trans guy, Dorothy being feminine presenting nb, and Rhya just straight up being pan and attracted to strong people. What can I say? I know what I like lmao 😂

5. Yuno & Asta

I’m a sucker for good friendly rivalries. Especially ones full of so much mutual respect!!! Like, they both respect each other and care so fucking much is amazing ❤️

And don’t get me wrong, I get the people that ship them romantically and I’ll read it; but I see their relationship as more sibling rivalry/platonic than anything else.

You can’t look at Yuno being a Dramatic Bitch to get on Asta’s nerves and tell me that’s not Peak Sibling Energy, because I tell you I have done the exact same to my own brother. Let them be dorks and friends and brothers, bc it WORKS.

6. Rill/Charmy/Langris

Yes, yes this is another crackship. No, I do not care! And yes, i am aware it will very likely never be canon.

I just really like the image of Langris being reluctantly folded into the dynamic of two cinnamon rolls who could probably flatten him if they really wanted to. And Langris slowly coming to the realization that he actually really likes them and cares for them, even if he is a bit tsun-tsun about expressing it sometimes.

Plus, y’know, Rill and Charmy won’t indulge his asshole-ier behaviors, and if he pisses Charmy off he’s very likely to get his ass kicked.

I can’t really explain it more than that other than I just really really like the dynamics with this trio and I hold it very close to my heart 💕

7. Finral & Vanessa

Let them be friends!!! Let them be platonic best friends!!!! I love their dynamic, esp if you expand on it and take a look at how Finral and Vanessa can play off of each other. BEST FRIENDS.

8. David & Letoile

I know everyone likes to think of them as the chaotic one and the no-nonsense one, but consider: Letoile getting wrapped up in David’s shenanigans bc they’re just as ride or die as Magna and Luck are. Everyone thinks of her as the other holder of the Golden Dawn’s self restraint, and she sort of is, but her standards of what should be restrained is very different from Klaus’s.

9. Julius & Marx (can also be Julius/Marx, but only prior to the whole deaging thing)

Wholesome ship! It’s already obvious that they care about each other a lot in canon, so let that be expanded upon and developed more. It also adds the fun bit that the issues with Julius running away from his paperwork become even more comical with the added context. It starts to feel less like a subordinate yelling at their commandeer and more like an old married couple or something 😂

10. Leopold & Asta & Yuno & Noelle

Three competitive dumbasses and the exasperated one who makes it worse. I love them all and I think they make the best fucking quad friend group;; let them be friends, please. Please. Just the shenanigans they would get into makes me cackle with glee.

[cats-moss-gays]

@terflies

You’ve been all over my posts so I’m just going to consolidate into this one. I’m tired of scrolling past your long and quite frankly boring responses. This post will be divided into sections. If you’re going to respond please say something interesting. However I doubt either of us will ever change the other’s mind. These are kind of like closing statements and I doubt I’ll make anymore major responses because I’m trying to stay focused on offline things.

1. Unanswered Questions

There are some questions and statements in my reblogs that you conveniently ignored.

Definition of a woman? You responded with some generic bs that very clearly isn’t an answer. I’ll be more specific, what should the dictionary definition be? Any ideas?

If I don’t feel like a woman am I allowed to identify as one? You said you weren’t going to humour this question but it is applicable to me and many other gc women. I definitely don’t have any internal feeling of womanhood, or any gender. Does this mean I have to be agender? Is the female gender label restricted to a certain feeling? Or is there absolutely nothing that women have in common?

What is the feeling of womanhood? You kind of answered this but I have a follow up question. You say the feeling of womanhood is enjoying being perceived as a woman. If I feel indifferent to this does it mean I’m not a woman? Additionally, many women feel uncomfortable with being perceived as a woman because of the misogyny associated with the label, does this make them men?

2. Inaccurate Statements and Lies

I don’t believe any “TRAs” define women by gender roles

You may not but there are many who do. It’s also important to point out how deeply ingrained gender roles are in society; you can’t stop them by just saying your choices exist in a vacuum. I’m sure you think I’m just making this up for fun, so here are some examples ;)  x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x

So this whole…thing is dishonest from the start. Gender does not replace sex.

In another post you said that laws should be based on gender instead of sex. So which is it, either gender isn’t replacing sex or it is. When feminists talk about sex based oppression they’re called terfs. When gay people say their attraction is based on sex they’re called transphobic. When people were saying that only females get cervical cancer, they were called violent transphobes. Gender is absolutely attempting to replace sex as the basis of legal protections, safe spaces, political movements, etc. Two of the top post on my blog are more extreme example of this. x - x

BONUS: You’re saying TERF rhetoric

3. The “Questions” Post

You seem very confused about how to define biological sex and to some extent I understand that but you have to stop playing dumb. There must be some way that doctors are able to identify the sex of a fetus before it’s even born in the vast majority of cases, right? And before you try to say I’m just ignoring the existence of intersex people or trying to deny science, I’ll point out that I have watched and read a lot of “sex is a spectrum” stuff. I understand that DSDs exist and that biology is complicated. Our disagreement is mostly not over the facts but over how to define them. I know that however I explain it you’ll pretend you don’t understand it, so instead I’ll just link you to some other sources that explain it more in depth. x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x

A third sex—and many creatures have more than two—does not necessarily mean a third gamete. Mostly this question is a childish distraction, but if you were to use a strict, gamete-based definition of sex the answer would be “none”.

So all infertile people are a third sex? To be female you have to be able to bear children? And you call me regressive, yikes. This can be debunked with the same sources from above but I wanted to feature it in my post because I want people to know that you think there’s a third sex.

I made a quick little chart to compare all the things gender has been compared to! The difference is that while many are socially defined, gender is socially constructed. If someone never interacted with other humans, they would still have a skin color, have or not have specific abilities, have a sexual orientation, and be male or female. They would not have an observable gender identity.

1 - You refuse to humor my questions about being a woman who doesn’t feel like one, however this is not in bad faith; I do want to know what you think. Many gc/radfems, including myself, and many women in general do not have a specific feeling of gender. This is especially true for gnc women, who often feel a disconnect from the feminine gender role and subsequently, the feminine gender. The solution is to realize that there are no standards to conform to to be a woman, no clothes or interests or feelings, just the biological reality one is born with.

2 - You say “the feeling of womanhood is enjoying being called a woman” but what does that mean? It’s circular reasoning, a fallacy called begging the question. How do you know you are a woman? If I gave up being a terf on tumblr, how would you advise that I identify if I don’t think I feel like a woman? My current plan was to just pick the mogai flag with the prettiest colors, but I’m thinking maybe there’s more to it than that...

3 - See my explanation above. Sex is comparable to race or disability or sexuality; gender is not.

4 - You say genders are social classes. If they are indeed social classes, they are unnecessary ones that reinforce oppression. They are undefinable when not based on biological sex or gender roles. The other example of classes I can think of is wealth. Wealth classes have obvious divisions, you can’t just identify into more money. Gender has nothing that is shared by every woman, man, or nonbinary, so you can just identify in and out of classes. Additionally, if there are like 100 genders, are there 100 classes? 

4. The “Biological” Sex Post

Gender does not replace sex

Then why are TRAs trying to say sexuality, legal protections, bathrooms, spaces, political movements, etc should be based on gender instead of sex? You keep contradicting yourself; you should talk to your fellow trans activists because many would disagree. Also see my response in part two.

A number of points here aren’t factually wrong but simple (*simply) irrelevant

So you would agree that biological sex is important and that it is relevant to many conversations? Then why were people getting mad about this?

Or this?

On to the specific examples. This post is long enough already and I’m not going to spoon feed basic biology to you because you’ll probably just ignore it. I referenced a variety of sources earlier. I’ll just reference Invisible Women since it’s an amazing book.

1. This first point is, appropriately enough, true in isolation; it just doesn’t support Paradox Institute’s argument. Listing it leads the audience to believe that truth is on their side, but PI do nothing at all to justify that.

So nothing here is true? They’re just lying? Here are their sources btw.

2. Generally irrelevant, but not entirely biologically accurate, either. It isn’t that ‘male’ and ‘female’ are categories intrinsic to nature that produce small, motile and large, immotile gametes respectively; ‘male’ and ‘female’ are labels we assign (generally, but not always) according to gamete size.

So it’s not relevant that one sex has the ability to carry children or menstruation or get an abortion? It’s not like there’s any issues women face specifically for that, right? So we assign the labels male and female to gametes. If you want to play semantics, sure, we created the words, but the gametes themselves already existed. Not really sure what you’re trying to say here other than disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing and moving some words around. Are you implying that the categorizations of gametes are subjective? Are you saying there’s a spectrum of gametes?? Are eggs just big sperm and sperm just small eggs??? Genuinely have no idea what the fuck you’re trying to prove here.

3. Whatever your opinion of evolutionary psychology, this does not preclude gender. (On the contrary, we ought to include gender in our understanding of cultural development with respect to sex.)

The only gender in history was gender roles, and both were tied to sex in most cases. Sex absolutely came before gender and is more integral to our existence. In any time before the last few decades, gender and sex were basically synonyms.

4. Entirely a straw argument. And, to the contrary, precision greater than two sex categories would be beneficial (i.e. specific sex characteristics, history, endocrinology etc.).

Obviously doctors don’t just diagnose based on sex, they factor in medical history and other traits. Precision is irrelevant because it still focuses on sex not gender. If it’s “entirely a straw argument” why did someone else reblog your response with this?

Speaking as a member of a medical family, the medical one fucking OFFENDS me.

Blood type HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GENDER. Or biological sex! Both are totally irrelevant! And medication dosage is determined by AGE and SIZE. A 25-year-old 160-pound person with a penis needs the exact same dose as a 25-year-old 160-pound person with a vagina. In fact, possibly LESS of a dose, if the person with a penis is 5’10” and the person with a vagina is 5’5”. (The taller person may be underweight.)

This is just. UGH. I could scream.

@prismatic-bell​ this is one of the funniest and dumbest replies I’ve ever gotten. First of all “member of a medical family” tf is that lmao. This reminds me of that post where the “medical worker” tra turned out to be a garbage collector guy. I have no idea why you brought up blood type when it is literally never mentioned in the original post. Strawman much? Fucking obviously blood type isn’t affected by sex, and you’re completely missing the point if you think gender has anything to do with this. Medication dosage is decided by age and size, yes, but also biological sex. This is like basic medical science, dumbass. Mandatory reading from Invisible Women as punishment for your stupidity crimes:

People called her a terf for this :)

5. How sports are best divided is a far broader question than this point implies. We could, for example, segregate sports by relevant physical attributes (as is already the case in some sports) rather than by sex or gender. This point also presupposes (but does not justify) that a woman having an advantage in women’s sports by dint of being trans is significantly greater than an advantage any woman might have by dint of her natural attributes (which, empirically, she does not) and hence would be unfair. That said, enforcement of “female” sports is already marred by racism and perisexism.

You agree sex and gender are different, yes? So then why should males be in female sports? You’re trying to distract me with that stuff about physical performance and whatever. Focus on the question at hand, should males be allowed into female sports? We cannot eradicate sex-segregated sports because female athletes will be even more systematically disadvantaged. If you were truly a feminist you’d understand that female sports are the result of the movement you claim to support. More Invisible Women facts plus some interesting info about the plough hypothesis:

6. Simply untrue. Excluding trans women from statistics about women on the basis that doing so would affect those statistics is arbitrary at best. Those statistics may change, but that does not mean they are unsuitable or inappropriate. The exclusion of any subset of women can be justified in exactly the same way.

Nope! Stop trying to use women of color and intersex women as justifications for why we should let men pretend to be women. You’ve seen the hundreds of receipts of trans women committing all sorts of male violence. Has anyone found anywhere near a comparable number of trans men doing similar things? They have not, even though if trans men were truly men they would be much more violent.

7. The majority of single-sex spaces are, functionally, just as much single-gender (owing to the traditional equivalence of ‘sex’ and ‘gender’ and to the majority of the population being cis. Trans people have been using spaces appropriate to their gender for decades, whereas concerns about them doing so are based on speculation and hypotheticals rather than fact. (Aided, as with a lot of bigotry, by bad and manipulated statistics.)

I’ve spoken about my opinions on the bathroom debate before. If a passing trans person uses the bathroom of their choice I don’t really care, but there have already been many examples of men making women uncomfortable in their bathrooms, or worse. Making all bathrooms gender neutral is by far the worst idea, but unfortunately that seems to be where we’re headed. More Invisible Women, just for fun:

8. This is the worst red herring, exploiting violent misogyny for the sake of argument. It is another straw argument, too, since—even ignoring trans-positive feminism in practice and assuming trans people act only in self-interest—trans people are concerned with addressing such injustice.

Sure, many trans people are supportive of feminism. But we can’t effectively dismantle the patriarchy if we can’t accurately describe the (sex-based) oppression involved. Women are routinely silenced when talking about our biology, even when there is no “transphobic” language involved. “Trans-positive feminism” also often reinforces misogyny by supporting sex work and porn, and by shutting down analysis of things like femininity and makeup because “some women like it.” See also from trans activists: misogyny racism homophobia + lesbophobia

9. Similar to (7) there is no consistent distinction between sex and gender across law. Even so, this is another red herring as it is possible to recognise both sex and gender in laws and policies. Some laws already do (at least functionally, if not explicitly).

You can deny it but the TRA train is leaving without you and they’ve been clear about their goals. As you’ve seen in this post, gender is intended to replace sex. Those who bring up sex-based issues are silenced as “terfs” who deserve the hatred thrown at them.

Sorry for making such a long post but I was on a roll so I just kept writing. I don’t expect @terflies​ to respond to all of this but I wanted an excuse to make some sort of masterpost that links to a lot of my other posts and can be used in the future. Online school is going pretty well and I’m trying to start some doing some hobbies that are better than tumblr blogging.

[pauleonotis]

These last 2-3 days really reminded me of an old Drarry Au that I had so after searching for my old notes I revised them and thought I‘d share it.

(Trans!Harry, Trans!Draco; Warning: There’s mention of some transphobic behavior)

When Harry was sitting for the first time in the train on his way to Hogwarts Ron joined him

»Hi. I‘m Ron Weasley,« he said and Harry smiled »I‘m Harry Potter.«

Ron looked at him confused and hesistantly asked if he has heard his name right. Harry just nodded.

His new found friend asked him a couple of questions and they talked about what Ron had heard about him, or at least what he had heard about ’her’

Harry answered everything and then started to explain about him still being a boy even though he was born with female body parts

And for the first time ever he didn’t get a snarky remark like “it‘s just a phase“ or “but your biological gender is and will always be female“ (which btw was still not true, while he had a vagina his biological gender still is male. He was born with a male brain. So even as little child it already felt wrong being called a girl. Everyone out there might only see his female body but Harry simply knew better even without understanding it back then.)

»Is it true?« came a voice from outside their compartment. Draco was standing there. »They‘re saying all down the train that Hailey Potter‘s in this compartment. So it’s you, is it? I‘m Malfoy. Draco Malfoy.«

Harry looked at Draco but before he could say anything it was Ron who spoke up »It‘s Harry Potter.«

Draco sniggered and looked at Ron sneering »I don’t need to ask who you are. My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford,« he told him and continued »it also seems like your family can’t afford medical bills. You might want to check your hearing.«

Draco now turned to Harry »You‘ll soon find out some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. You don’t want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there.« He held out his hand.

»I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks,« Harry replies coolly. »And just so you know, Ron was right. It is Harry Potter. I identify as male.«

For a moment Harry could swear he saw something apologetic in Draco’s glance. But then it turned sour. He stormed off flushing angrily.

It took quite some time until everyone referred to him as Harry Potter and until he was known as the boy who lived. But in Hogwarts no one seemed to mind, it was the complete opposite reaction of what he has experienced in the muggle world and he loved it. He finally felt accepted, his mind was at peace and he didn’t hear anyone talking about him badly or made him feel like he doesn’t belong. Here he was just an ordinary student at Hogwarts. Even Draco Malfoy didn’t say anything bad about him being transgender. Tho he did insult him or his friends and played some unfair and mean pranks, that’s how he became Harry‘s school nemesis.

After the war Harry came back to finish his education.

During the summer break he went to Poppy Pomfrey, who nursed him quite a lot over the years. She was the only medical witch he trusted so she was the one to do the sex reassignment (tho it wasn’t a sex reassignment per se, after all he was already a man.)

She also gave him potions for his voice to get deeper and to support his facial hair growth.

Surprisingly quite a lot students came back, even from Slytherin, including Draco.

So many that they still managed to form Quidditch teams of every house, which was the reason that McGonagall allowed the 8th year students to play matches too.

After the game Gryffindor vs. Slytherin they all went to change when Harry noticed Draco, sitting subtle on a bench and waiting for everyone to shower, dress up and leave.

It seemed like he didn’t notice Harry so when it got quiet he stood up and began undressing. Harry did the same while keeping an eye on Malfoy.

When he took off his shirt that’s when he noticed Draco was wearing something beneath it. And then he realized what exactly it was.

A chest binder.

»Are you done watching me, Potter? I‘d like to change without getting stared at. Preferably alone actually,« he snarled.

It took him a moment to progress everything. And that’s when Harry noticed the slight swaying in the sound of Dracos voice. He was using a spell for it.

»I never noticed,« admitted Harry »You could’ve went to Pomfrey, you know?« at that Draco huffed.

»Of course you didn’t. No one did, because it’s none of your business. If I would tell Pomfrey everyone would know sooner or later, I can’t risk that.«

»Why though? You saw how accepting everyone was- still is. Yeah you were a git but they wouldn’t say something about you being a trans man, because it wouldn’t change anything at all. For example you and your friends literally did hate me and still didn’t go for my most sensitive part.«

»I didn’t hate you, I was jealous,« Draco admitted, to both of their surprise

»If someone would find out they‘d tell my father. You don’t know how my parents are. Not every wizard and every witch is as accepting as you might think, Potter,« Draco spat

While everyone at Hogwarts already knew Draco was male (with Snapes help so that the teachers would call him by the right pronouns, he was the only one who knew and he took this secret to his grave), at home he didn’t dare to use any of his charms or to wear his clothes and his binder beneath.

At home he was forced to be Cassiopeia Malfoy. Being his parents‘ 'princess'. He hated it.

He envied Harry, who didn’t have his parents anymore so he doesn’t need to be afraid of not being accepted, kicked out or getting disowned.

Draco, even though his parents would only love him for being their little girl and not loving him the way he actually was, loved his parents dearly.

It breaks his heart while he has always been well-behaved and polite just the way his parents have raised him and while he‘d do everything for them out of love, they couldn’t accept him for who he truly was.

After all the only thing that would change was his name and his physical appearance somewhat.

It was then when Draco noticed his cheeks were wet. While thinking about his parents he must‘ve began to cry. And even worse, Harry was still there looking at him surprised. And he was about to say something.

»You would never understand,« Draco said dismissively while wiping always his tears and turned away. He now continued getting dressed.

»You‘re wrong. I do understand. Most likely better than anyone else ever would,« Harry replied and thought of his uncle Vernon and his aunt Petunia.

They already hated him for his magic. And while Harry actually didn’t mind wearing Dudleys old clothes, they always made fun of him. Being a girl and wearing too big and old boys clothes.

»It’s horrible. Being afraid of telling people who are close to you something that means so much to you,« Harry said and began walking towards Draco.

»People who are supposed to love and support you. No matter what because they’re family. It’s a relief to finally speak out loud about it. Being able to tell it the whole world. You shouldn’t have hide like that, Draco,« Harry continues.

»But for what price?! I could lose everything, Potter! The love and support of my parents, my home and safe place, all of my hopes and dreams—« Draco began but his breath hitched when Harry turned him around and held his shoulders.

»The love and support for a person that isn’t you? For what price? Well, Happiness. Yes there might be some people who can’t accept you the way you are but that’s just their limited thinking. What matters most is that you stay true to yourself. No matter what people say about you and no matter how much they try to talk you out of it or try to make you insecure by telling you they would know better. They don’t. It’s your life, your decisions, and your mind and body. Not theirs. They have nothing to say about your life and the way you want to live it. And if they can’t stay out of your business then let them waste their time by giving unnecessary remarks. Because you« Harry wiped away Dracos tears, apparently he has started to cry again but this time he didn’t care »are free to do whatever you want. It’s them who are not satisfied enough with their lives so they have to take it out on others somehow. Slap them in their face by showing them how beautiful it is to just express yourself the way you are. You’re independent and you certainly don’t need anyone’s approval for simply being yourself.«

—

(At the end of this post I‘d like to mention that I myself am not transgender. Everything I wrote especially regarding the thoughts and fears is what I remember a friend of mine told me or what I did read and/or researched online. I just added some little details that I thought of while I imagined what I would think or of what I would be afraid of and/or insecure about if I myself would be a female being born with male body parts or the other way around.

It‘s possible that I made some mistakes, so please believe me when I say that I do not want to offend anyone who was reading this nor do I want to share any false informations. Please tell me if you found something that I might have misunderstood and what I need to change to correct my mistake/s.

-

Apart from that I also want to add that it‘s 4am [update: now almost 6- why am I like this?;-;] and I had to write this down otherwise I couldn’t sleep so I probably made mistakes in spelling and/or grammar. But I hope there aren’t too much so that it’s not distracting.)

[vampireqrow-moved]

hey so I agree with a lot of the stuff in your post about the transphobia involved in the origin of the pansexual label, but I just have one question: what are the actual impacts of people with good intentions calling themselves pan? If you don't hate pansexuals and consider them bi, why type up a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of the origin of the label if it means the same thing in the way that most non transphobic people (your audience) use it? a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways (like bi and lesbian and anything really) and plenty of valid identities from problematic roots and evolve over time as people use them differently (queer, transsexual). so how is a person with good intentions using a not-perfect label in a way you don't like a threat to the community? if someone is using the label pan transphobically, wouldn't their bigotry exist independently? if pan people do not act in transphobic ways besides using the label pansexual, realistically what is changing if they call themselves bi beyond holier-than-thou aesthetic activism? plus, a blog on the internet isn't going to get everyone to stop identifying as pansexual, especially considering multiple prominent celebrities ID as pan. so why spend all that energy quibbling on semantics because some bi people use a slightly different word when you could be worrying about Literally anything else? just feels like you want to find something to argue about lol. extremely disappointed that I had to break a mutual

im going to respond to each thing you bring up chronologically- im not trying to nitpick or prioritize certain things you say ill just forget things if i go out of order and i dont want to miss something important. ALSO! i will be typing less formally (like keysmashes and shortening words n stuff) in this response than my og post bc its 1am as im starting to type this so im tired but i want to be clear that i am like. taking this seriously and im not like. mocking u in anyway if it could read that way?? i hope not but just in case anyways here it goes!

in terms of actual impact people with good intentions identifying as pan: honestly im not  sure the full scope of the impact this has, so ill only be speaking to what ive personally seen which might not be all. but like... id argue my younger self has good intentionals iding as pan. i wanted to support trans people, even if i didnt understand a lot of the nuance involved. as a result of this, i developed a sense of superiority over other bisexuals and a mentality that bisexuality was a primitive and lesser sexuality. that mentality is harmful, and although im not sure if it affected bisexuals around me (of which there are many most of my friends are bi ajfjfjf) its still a harmful mentality and can easily hurt people even if i specifically didnt. also using it even with good intentions, which i know many people have, still spreads and further normalizes a label that imo can not be separated from its transphobic origins. this effect is not as extreme as other forms of transphobia and biphobia by A LONG SHOT. the bi community faces a lot of other issues but that doesnt mean this one isnt worth addressing if that makes sense?

if i dont hate pansexuals: ik this is part of a larger point which i will adress but i specified this in my post bc i see a lot of other posts that are negative towards pansexuality have "i hate pan ppl" somewhere in it or a close equivalent. i do not shame these ppl for their anger, i just wanted to be clear i think a lot of pan ppl are bi ppl with good intentions choosing a label they dont fully understand based on a misunderstanding of bisexuality.

why write a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of pansexuals origin: ok 😭😭 the real reason here is that im literally just bad at summarizing. like thats literally it. i also like talking, its a bad combination. plus ive been thinking abt this for like. over a year im not even kidding and just like i have a lot of thoughts and figured if i was going to bother making my own post instead of rbing someone elses that i might as well get everything i wanted to say off my chest. ALSO BTW i literally got an ask like a week ago that was several paragraphs long asking me to explain my thoughts on why pan was harmful and some other stuff so like. this is partially responding to that and partially just me wanting to air my grievances ? idk if thats the right expression 😔😔

why write the post if my audience of people who identify as pan arent doing it in a transphobic way ? again sorry i didnt really understand the phrasing so i hope this is a vaguely correct summary!! um but like... again imo i think pan cant be separated from its transphobia and like. again imo iding as pan is like. a transphobic action/choice? obviously one transphobic thing does mean someone necessarily is like officially a Transphobe (it CAN be depending on the action but i dont think that applies here) but that doesnt mean there arent problems with what they did. this is like very complicated, but like. someone doing something harmful without the knowlege that its harmful doesnt make that person a bigot by any means it just means they didnt know. and i feel thats the case here? a lot of ppl (myself included until recently) know next to nothing abt pansexualitys origins so a trans inclusve sexuality might seem like a safe and good bet just because they dont know too much abt it, and like? i cant hate those people cause that was me for 5+ years and djgjfjdj you just dont know what you dont know!

basically i think iding with a transphobic label is inherently a singular transphobic action that doesnt make the person transphobic by itself, but is still a transphobic instance.

a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways like bi, lesbian, etc.: this is true and a point i attempted to make on my original post, but i might not have clear enough. my issue with pan is specifically that it is a transphobic response to a preexisting identity. lesbian isnt an attempted trans inclusive indentity that replaced an identity that already existed (which have many trans ppl identifying with the og label). transphobes can use whatever labels they want, but transphobes using a label vs a label having a transphobic origin is very different. bigots use inclusive and supporting language for their bigotry all the time but language that originated with that bigotry is worse.

many valid identities stem from problemstic origins (like transsexual and queer) but the words evolve: ok my paraphrasing is a little weird there. anyways. the thing here is that. those are slurs. reclaimed slurs that can be empowering to many people, yes, but slurs nonetheless. reclaiming a slur is taking a harmful word and wearing it as a badge of pride. first off, pansexual is not a slur (ur not implying that in anyway just. saying) and it isnt being reclaimed when people dont treat it as having harmful origins. transsexual is the way some people identify but ppl acknowlege its a slur and originates from transphobia. ppl love to act like queer isnt a slur, which is an issue in and of itself, but just. factually it has historically and is currently being used against ppl with the intent to hurt them. pansexual isnt on the same level as these and other words like the f slur, d slur, etc. pansexual originates from trans and biphobia WITHIN the community and not outside of it, and most pansexuals dont see themselves as reclaiming the title because they dont think anythings wrong with it in the first place. and reclaiming it just seems unnecessary considering its history? theres no empowerment from using pan as a label as opposed to queer or transsexual, and it just divides the bisexual community for no reason.

how is a person using a not-perfect label a threat to the community? ok i dont think its a threat but still an issue if that difference makes sense? id like to reiterate a few things ive said before, but for me personally, it made me look down on bisexuals and see them as lesser, and it made people around me see pan as the "trans inclusive" sexuality as opposed to bisexuality, and basically its usage just leads to further biphobia. is this the worst of biphobia? no!!! but its still biphobia and why not attempt to target and minimize that? i have no way to singlehandedly stop biphobia, but my post might get through to my friends who id as pan and that small thing is better than nothing.

if someone used the pan label in a transphobic way, wouldnt that bigotry be different from people using it not transphobically?: someone claiming all bi ppl are transphobic and only pan is the acceptable label is obviously a lot worse than someone iding as pan and saying bi/pan solidarity but again, the second isnt not an issue because the first one is a bigger issue, its just a smaller issue in comparison. i wouldnt say the bigotry is different, one is just worse than the other, but it still has the same problems.

if pan people dont do anything transphobic other than id as pan then what changes with iding as bi over pan other holier-than-thou activism: its just one less person using a transphobic label? which isnt that big but it might lead to their friends stopping iding as pan and cause fewer people around them to see bi as a transphobic identity. which is small scale stuff, i wont try to blow it out of proportion, but thats still a step in the right direction and hopefully more people follow with it. its not terribly huge or lifechanging but something small that may only affect the people close to you is still something rather than nothing.

a blog the internet isnt going to get people to stop iding as pan: oh absolutely not. honestly i expected to get unfollowed/blocked more than change peoples minds regarding the pan label (im surprised i only lost two followers so far honestly) but again, someone literally asked me to do this and i wanted to be clear on my stance on the label, since in the past ive been supportive of it. im not expecting the post to get more than five likes, its more directed to my followers rather than the internet as a whole. im not expecting a large impact, im hoping to change the minds of my followers and friends who id as and support the pan label. thats it. if something bigger comes from it- great! but thats not what im aiming to do.

prev point + many prominent celebrities id as pan: the first name that comes to mind is someone im not a fan of for separate reasons but thats irrelevant. i mean im repeating myself a bit but some celebrities in the past validated and made me feel excited abt my identity as a pan person when they came out, and it justified the label to me, even when i had doubts. i have never interacted with a celebrity and do not plan to change their minds abt their identity. again, my post was for my friends and followers and maybe who ever was scrolling through the biphobia tag and decided to read my post.

why spend that much energy worrying abt the pan label instead of something else: ive spent waaaaay more energy thinking abt a singular meme i didnt like regarding my favourite rwby character so like. maybe i just overreact to things lol. maybe i have a lot of energy and since i cant talk my friends ears off abt my favourite fruits or the different voting methods i learned in my math class or what would dreams taste like, then i gotta put my energy into something. idk. i have a lot of energy and honestly? this didnt take that much. but i felt it weighing on me as my friends talked positively abt the pan label, when i felt guilty for the superiority i felt over my bi friends INCLUDING my best friend and favourite person in the world so like. i spent enough energy worrying abt it, and like. in hindsight since its been over 12 hours since posting it, im thinking abt it less. i was more worried abt feeling dishonest with my friends than actually worrying abt pansexuality, but i figured i owed them an explanation for why my feelings around it had changed.

just feels like you want to find something to argue about: okay i DO love arguing but im not pulling this out of my ass for fun. its in response to posts ive seen on my dash, asks i recieved abt pansexuality, and my way of letting people know my views have changed and why since i know at least some people are curious.

i am sorry to lose a mutual as well, and i genuinely hope things go well for you, but uh yeah thats that.

again, if people have further questions im willing to answer them i just might take a while bc i have school and other stuff 2 do but uhhh yea sorry if im clogging ur dash sjfjfkkf

[glitch200279]

[Before you come at me, I am a bi trans guy]

Idk what exclus needs to hear this but:

-Being a dick to people you don't think belong in the community don't make them suddenly go "omg, you're right!" [This DOES include the "pannie flops" accounts where you basically post pancringe]

-Pan, omni, & poly actually AREN'T biphobic or transphobic & they can coexist with bisexuality! Yes yes, I DID read the bisexual manifesto AND I know how important bi people are to all LGBTQ history! But I still have this opinion so sit down.

-To me, they go like this [and someone can correct me, especially with poly & omni]: Bi is more than one->All genders, pan is inherently all, poly is more than one but never all, omni is inherently all but gender still may be a bigger factor [may have messed up on omnis definition & maybe polys too, but you get the point]

A lot of people [idk if you would consider them inclus or exclus] consider pan, omni, & poly, to be real valid & important, but on a Bi+ spectrum AKA, they're under the bi-umbrella [the umbrella being liking more than one gender]. Like the Nonbinary umbrella for example. The nonbinary umbrella holds all genders that aren't binary, for example agender, demi-boy, demi-girl, ect. But nonbinary is ALSO a label in itself.

So, why don't these people who are "closer" to identifying as binary just identify as a binary gender? Like demi-boys just identify as... Boys. And agender people just say they're nonbinary?

Because that small distinction in definition to THEM is important to explain THEIR relationship with their gender identity, same with pan, omni, & poly. Maybe you're just like "But it's literally just bi with extra steps..." But to them, that smallest definition in meaning is important to them in explaining how they feel & their relationship with their sexuality, and that's honestly none of your business.

-The whole "Pannies DNI" or making fun of micro labels/filling their positivity tags with hate honestly makes the bi community feel unsafe & the whole "exploring your sexuality" not safe either. Before I realized I was bi, I tried to find a Tumblr account where I could ask questions [because I was honestly highkey in denial][I thought I was gay btw this isn't a "former pan here"] and while it wasn't the whole account, there was still so much pan hate on one of the first accounts I found. It didn't feel like a good idea to follow, because what kinda disgusting person just fills positivity tags with negativity & hate? Plus I knew if I said I was questioning I would probably get the whole "You like boys? Like girls? Bi." And it just gave me a horrible IMPRESSION of the bi community [I found lots of cool people & accounts after that thankfully] & that's not what you should want when you're telling people that micro labels hurt you & How important you are to the community...

-You aren't fucking entitled to know why someone identifies the way they do sit down. "Uh if I feel like they're hurting my community-" no, sit down. You can say "Hey, I'm curious as to why" but if you go in with an entitled attitude like "I deserve to know this info" AND "I deserve to know it because you're hurting MY community imo so... Info now :)" like fuck right off.

-Allies deadass don't care that much. "Oh people who don't feel sexual attraction are in that community? Fire. People who don't feel romantic attraction too? Lit! Oh there's Mutiple things for liking more than one gender identity? I'm confused but sounds cool!" Like real allies don't fucking care as much as you're acting, and when "inclus" say you care more about cishets liking you rather than protecting those in your community, we [at least when I say it] mean you care more about the approval of people that won't like you even if Jesus came back and said "I LOVE ALL THE QUEERS!" The people who would spit in his face & call him a false idol for saying that. Of course cishet supporters are important, but it should be all or nothing, not "LG/B/T[maybe nonbinary, but not those weird xenogenders & neopronouns, or those weird ones like "demi boy"]" and you're going with the second one when you choose to fight with your own community over who belongs, what doesn't, what is basically what, etc. Etc. You can have those opinions yes! But you aren't "protecting" the community at all.

-Aces & Aros are inherently in the community, just because you or your ace friend don't think they are, doesn't make it fact. And including them doesn't mean straight people will try & pretend to be in the community? Like they could just say they're bi, pan, poly, omni, or even just say they're trans but very post op. Like first of all there are easier ways to pretend to be in the community, so idk why you're going after aces & aros like they're the cause. Plus how many cishets do you know that know about Asexuality & Aromanticism, but aren't either themselves? Also including them doesn't make less room for everyone else.

-Some of y'all are really quick to be alloallo [not ace & I think that's not aro either] & say something aphobic/arophobic but say you aren't/weren't. Like so you, someone who is neither, knows more than someone who is? Also not some of y'all getting offended at being called allo & mocking it😷

This was really messy & confusing probably, sorry for any grammar & spelling mistakes [and if I got any definitions wrong], but yeah I hope you still got the point.

Basically if you're exclus, have your opinions, I can't change them. But when you're to the point to running accounts mocking those identities [and using real examples], filling their tags with hate & gross shit, and/or you're constantly making fun of them, you are no longer in the right morally, even if you're factually right. Like no one wants to side with an asshole [but I have looked at all your points & I think they're still dumb without you being a dick, but you won't convince anyone who might be a little open like that]

[wahbegan]

I’m just insanely tired of this new wave and it is new!! Btw there is no THIS HAS BEEN AROUND FOR CENTURIES yeah people fucking about with their ideas of gender and gender roles has, not what you’re doing right now, transgender didn’t exist until after 2000 as a word and even then it meant just gender non-conforming, this like BRAND NEW YOU ARE NEW YOU HAVE NO HISTORICAL LEG TO STAND ON wave of trans activism that’s like insanely black and white it’s like the whole fucking movement has a personality disorder it’s like your only two choices are as follows:

You literally see NO difference between trans women and biological women who btw are now cis women which is just a descriptor even though it is universally used in a disparaging way, because calling them biological women implies trans women aren’t biological women WHICH THEY ARE, a trans dick means it’s a woman’s dick and vice versa with men and vaginas and i see no way that rhetoric could possibly hurt anyone, nor do I see any way in which saying a man can say “actually i’m a woman” at any time for any reason should be accepted without question and that person should then be allowed into women’s spaces could possibly hurt anyone

OR

You violently abhor all trans people, think trans women are literally all freakish murderous rapist paedophiles, will misgender them repeatedly to their face, laugh, and call them homophobic slurs just to hurt them, support hate crimes, and jerk off to stories about them being assaulted and murdered. There are no other options.

NO!!!! THOSE ARE NOT OUR ONLY TWO OPTIONS!1! That’s fucking stupid!!! YOU are fucking stupid!!!!

If you read Sylvia Rivera and Marsha Johnson’s statements from their mouths, it is very obvious that at their core they are under no impression they aren’t biologically men. Sylvia rejected being called a lesbian, both called themselves men and/or gay men at certain point, and both very clearly understood, that, and this is the important part

THEY WERE OPPRESSED FOR BEING GENDER NON-CONFORMING AND GAY. NOT BECAUSE THEY BELONGED TO THIS GROUP OF PEOPLE YOU COULD JUST BECOME PART OF AT ANY POINT WITH NO EFFORT.

The T is in the LGBT because it was a subset of the GAY community, it was GAY and BI men and women cross-dressing and expressing themself through gender non-conformity. And that’s great, y’know? I love that shit! 

But this fucking ludicrous bending over backwards it’s transphobic to say you wouldn’t fuck a trans woman as a lesbian/straight man it’s an act of violence to use the wrong pronoun....it’s god damned ridiculous

Look, I get it. You want to be something else, you want to be more, you’re not comfortable with who you are, you’re not comfortable with the box they want you in. I’m incredibly uncomfortable being a man, I don’t like how other men act or trust them, I don’t like the stereotypes it places on me, I don’t like the way women are scared of me when I pass them on the street, honestly and selfishly, I don’t like that when talking about shit like this it removes any clout I might have because this entire dissertation can be responded to with “shut the fuck up cishet man”, I feel like I deserve to be seen as more than a man.

None of that makes me a woman.

It makes me a fucking human and maybe in a kinder world where we weren’t obsessed with immediately microlabeling the exact kind of person someone is the instant we fucking look at them down to their personality flaws and neuroses and fucking prowess in bed, this wouldn’t be necessary. But we don’t live there. We’ll always live here. So we change the scenery, but not the fucking situation. 

People will look at you and see a f**, a woman, a freak, liberal, one of those alternative millennials, hot, sensitive, a school shooter type, a poet, an angry white boy, a ray of charisma, a black hole that swallows empathy, all of that. And so much more. Everyone you have ever seen will label you the way they label you, many of them will have the same opinion, and that will affect how they treat you and how you treat yourself. That will never change, no matter what you call yourself.

This shit is all about kids trying to force the world to listen to them and see their actual personality when they look at them, all the intricacies of them as a person. It’s about self-expression. That’s fine. It’s a pointless effort, but it’s fine. But getting political and manipulative about it is insane. Cause now very powerful groups of people who want to do the right thing but don’t really have any idea what’s going on are just validating all this shit and what started as a few people with serious gender dysphoria and a few people who just wanted to express their sexuality through cross-dressing and gender non-conformity and some people who just weren’t comfortable with their gender roles all coming together under one identity has turned into this amorphous fucking ravenous political interest that’s impossible to satisfy and demands regular blood sacrifice, do you know how many women i know who want to go by they? A lot. You know what it changes? About their sexuality, self-expression, how they navigate through life? Nothing. At all. One of my friends she was worried I didn’t consider myself at least a little bit not straight for sleeping with her and said she was worried I saw her as a girl. Of course I fucking do. I mean I see you as you. I know you’re uncomfortable with that and don’t want to be seen as that, so I don’t refer to you as such when I can help it, I see you as the individual person you are, but yeah, as far as my sexuality is concerned, yes. I do. Because I’m a normal fucking human being.

This is insane.

[spidersmiceandeverythingnice]

Gonna write my scatterbrained Spicy Hot Takes on Agartha before the news is stale and I delete this annoying and boring chapter from my mental landscape, so bear with me:

I think Agartha’s main issue was just straight up poor writing. The Japanese direct translations being as downright offensive as they were is one thing - but overall, the chapter is just one plot contrivance after another. It tries so, so hard to go for a certain tone but can’t seem to stick to any one thing or idea. Disregarding themes about sexuality probably would have been the very best way to go about this chapter, since I think the most interesting part was the theme about storytelling and in-authenticity - we all know that That Line was annoying af in a game like FGO, but it CAN work in a series like Fate as a whole. I had a helluva long day at work so allow me to explain in the least scatter-brained way I can manage right now:

Here’s what I’m thinking: Scheherazade, whose name I guarantee I will spell wrong/differently every time I write it even though I’ve been able to pronounce it properly since I was thirteen (I was in a speaking competition and told some of the Thousand and One Nights using her framework as the opening monologue, long story short ANYWAY -) is traumatized by her ordeal with the king. This is a really good and interesting thing to explore! Fitting it in with the theme of storytelling - Scheherazade is deeply afraid of dying and will do whatever it takes to live, so she makes a fantasy world and fills it with legends, and feeds their energy to a Holy Grail. With this, and the power of a Demon God at her side, she plans to reveal magic to the human world in the most destructive fashion possible, allowing the fantastic to become ordinary, and destroying the Throne of Heroes itself in the process. Fate is a series were stories have power - but Scheherazade survived basically by telling the most fantastical, interesting tales she could and never finishing them. She always would pause in the middle, and say, “That’s all for tonight.” I think this is the kind of thing we can run with in terms of setting.

Dahut is the weirdest example because it’s the one story in the chapter that I know next to nothing about. At one point it’s mentioned that Dahut is impossible to summon as a Servant, and so Drake was “forced” into the role of the Pirate Princess. Ys is probably the weakest part of the chapter for that, but I did like the idea of her being “Drake Alter,” where Drake vibrantly pursues her goals and desires but takes nothing for granted; Dahut gives into her every whim and takes absolutely everything for granted. The conflict between “Drake” and “Dahut” should have been emphasized more instead of having the player/Da Vinci dismiss her as “Oh, it’s not Drake, except when she conveniently comes back to delivery us the MacGuffins Ex Machina in the eleventh hour.” Dahut has little connection to Drake - it’s not her story, but a role she was forced into because Scheherazade was building a very specific kind of world. Therefore it is inauthentic. Perhaps that’s all it needs to be in this context. 

This can also work with the Amazons. Scheherazade never told stories of the Amazons, but she has access to basically all stories in the world through her Noble Phantasm - she learns that they are a society of warrior women who live without men, and so decides that they will be a society which oppresses men due to her fear/bitterness towards men after the ordeal she suffered through. The “oppressing men” plotline was honestly dumb all around but using the Amazons as a mechanism to explore Scheherazade's trauma would’ve been more interesting than just having them be the Big Bad before the Big Bad Columbus Reveal: Scheherazade doesn’t like fighting, but wishes that she had been strong enough to protect herself. Because she views herself as a coward and her ordeal with the king has complicated her view of sexuality - “I’m better suited to a bedchamber than a battlefield” - she uses the Amazons of Agartha as a mechanism to cope. 

This brings us to Wu, whose design I’m still not happy about even though I think the in-story justification is somewhat fair. (Let Helena and Wu be gray-haired grannies together or so help me!) Wu was absolutely an authoritarian ruler who did, in fact, invade and conquer several nations and institute a terrifying network of secret police. In her later life, she was given to decadence - but her tenure on the throne showed her to be a highly competent administrator. Notably, she ruled over an era of religious tension and balanced matters quite well, and though she was accused of undoing meritocracy to put her supporters into power, many of the men she appointed held positions in government long after she’d died because they were actually good at their jobs. Wu has been heavily mythologized over the years - later Tang emperors and Neo-Confucian scholars wrote her off (Wu founded her own dynasty under her own name, so they kind of had to legitimize it somehow), she became associated the nine-tailed fox spirit thanks to a few popular novels and poems, etc., etc., etc. The crazy thing is that Wu actually left very few records of herself behind, apart from some poems. Even the inscription on her tomb is blank! People can say whatever they want about her - it’s extremely difficult to know the full truth of the matter without any objective observers in the field (and without Wu’s own words to give context/another story), especially if you don’t read any Chinese. 

BTW - the first thing I learned history class is that when you’re dealing with primary sources, you must always remember that translators have agendas. Every word is a deliberate choice, and it changes the meaning from the original text. When dealing with historical documents, this is not always a good thing. 

Scheherazade reads some, but not all of these stories, and integrates Wu into her world as the sadist empress with an iron grip on her decadent mythical city. 

Do you see what I’m getting at here? It’s a lot, but I’m not done. Now we have to deal with Columbus - there’s “In Defense of Columbus” video is floating around in the Agartha tag, but I haven’t watched it in full and haven’t done like, any intensive research on Columbus in particular, so I’m going to apologize right now for any historical inaccuracies/misconceptions that I’m about to write. The point I want to make here mainly is that Columbus, like Wu, has been heavily, heavily mythologized for both good and evil at various points. The thing about Columbus that is also interesting is that the authenticity of his journals is or was apparently a subject of debate. The man who published most of them actually happened to be Bartolomew de las Casas - one of the founders/first vocal supporters of the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade. The reason de la Casas supported this is because he believed that using African labor would be an improvement over enslaving the native populations of the New World. Soon after, he had a change of heart and devoted the rest of his life to fighting against slavery in all forms. De la Casas went on to be named a saint, and was possibly the first person in history to propose the idea of universal human rights - which is how I had heard of him until literally just this afternoon; I had no idea he’d ever supported the slave trade until I was looking up basic info about Columbus’s writings so I could write this long-ass post. History is full of complicated people. 

But as I mentioned in Wu’s bit, it’s very important to note that in many ways, Columbus is literally just whatever people decide he is. Like, he never even set foot in any land that would become the United States, and yet he’s a huge symbol here! Along these lines, his amnesia would fit the theme of inauthentic storytelling, choosing what to read and what to believe in. Columbus regaining his memories was an understated moment, which is actually fucking fantastic because it could be used to really emphasize the choice that is being made here. He’s a Heroic Spirit who can choose to be whatever he wants. He can choose to be the simple hero-explorer that schoolchildren sing about, or he can choose to be the Big Bad, the first and perhaps most infamous conquistador. And he chooses to be the bad guy. That is so fuckin’ fantastic, y’all! I honest to God love that not only did FGO portray Columbus as a villain of history but that the bad reputation is something he chooses to maintain! I can write a list of Servants who were less than stellar people and got a makeover for Fate. Nero is probably one of the worst examples but like - Ozymandias absolutely owned slaves in his life as a pharaoh. Hercules and Medea murdered their own children. Asterios literally ate humans as the Minotaur. Gilles de Rais exists as a playable character. Jack the Ripper is your daughter. Hell, Nobunaga burned temples with the monks still inside - but she feels bad about it now! Enough digressing but I a hundred percent get why Japanese fans found Columbus “refreshing” at his introduction. He owns his cruelty, his desire to exploit others - he challenges the narrative that everyone is redeemable because he doesn’t even want to be redeemed, he just wants to get rich and famous, and he doesn’t give a shit who he steps over in the process! Like, Columbus said, “I’m just doing what comes naturally,” at one point when he still had amnesia, so when he got his memory back and turned on the player, I really would’ve liked for him to say is something like, “You’ve already decided that I’m the bad guy, right? You know my story, and I’m nothing if not a man of my word.”

These kinds of questions/debates could have been used to emphasize the themes of Agartha. Legends are what people decide they are. People make choices and history decides whether they were good or evil or important retroactively. Can you know what someone is like by reading a translation of their poetry? Can you judge a king’s reign by the words of their successors or their rivals? Does the context of a story matter? This all could have been super interesting to explore!

Like I said, the main theme of Agartha being “inauthentic storytelling” could have been hella, hella good considering that this is a world created by Scheherazade’s fears and trauma feeding into her escapist desires. But Minase’s incompetence as a writer made everything so hamfisted and awkward that everything just suffered under his desire to insert his fetishes at every moment. It was so obvious that he didn’t read any material for old Fate characters - like Astolfo you poor sweet thing, you deserved so much better! - and even the new characters that he clearly did research on, like Columbus, fell flat because he couldn’t figure out what he was trying to say beyond mildly-to-extra offensive sex jokes.

[elvesofnoldor]

im losing my entire fucking mind and i dont know anything abt myself anymore and why? why? all cause one day in undergrad, out of nowhere, i went “hey am i a woman?” like i was asking myself what flavour of cheesecake i wanted for dessert. That was like, right after i felt comfortable with the fact that im a lesbian. And the answer should have been simple and short: “yeah duh you dumb fucking bitch, why did you ask? why do you think asking this is fucking productive? forget about it!” But no, i decided to engage with the question and it opened a fucking pandora’s box, and this question latched onto me like a fucking parasite, because this question allows me to think about another crucial question im always afraid to ask myself: am i truly attracted to men? With lesbianism, i can answer this question with ease by saying, no, these flimsy “crushes” i have on like two or three boys when i was a child/teen were result of compulsory heterosexuality, boom, that’s it. simple! not to mention, i know that lesbians can experience attraction to men in the past and even had past relationship with men and still be lesbians, sometimes sexuality isn’t solid as a brick, and none of that should have mattered! 

 so yeah, lesbianism is the answer i LIKE, yet part of me is not satisfied with this answer! of course! why not! since when am i ever satisfied with anything EVER?  over time, i started to want a “man’s body” when i see a cis dude with bare chest in picture, and it seems like i started to identify more and more with...masculinity and manhood...in general? even fictional men? at times? i dont fucking know! its a huge mess! and confusing! and my memories are all blurry and false and twisted by my current perception. sure i think i always kind of aspire to “androgynous looks”, but i like being a lesbian! At first, i was like, maybe im a non binary lesbian cause oh baby i know im not bisexual-- i dont want to be with men, but i want to be with women and that’s a certainty. And i know i had one real crush in life--sure it brought me nothing but misery but i know i had one true crush and it was a girl, a friend, from my high school-- whereas my possible feelings abt real boys or fictional men are very flimsy in comparison. still, part of me started to think that perhaps i can only process these feelings i might have for other men/boys in the past if i can...idk see myself as another man? i dont fucking know! Literally, it’s the most unproductive thing to think about! More importantly, i did not fall in love with any real man nor do i want to fall in love with any man! but i still kept questioning myself about this, cause i kept having these strong feelings abt,  FICTIONAL MALE CHARACTERS. And idk, part of me was like, “maybe you’d be comfortable with your attraction to men if you...are a man?”, and yeah i actually engage with this line of fucking thinking. its so fucking embarrassing that MEN THAT ARE NOT REAL can have such ridiculous heavy impact on me, it’s fucking ridiculous and i hate it!!! Every time i started to get invested in some stupid story that doesn’t matter cause it’s a fucking fictional story, there is like, this ONE MAN, one fucking bitch, that i felt very strongly about and it didn’t feel entirely platonic. i knew i was not straight since a teen and it took me FOREVER to even seriously consider that im a lesbian even though i dread the thought of being with men for the longest time, precisely because i keep having these weird strong feelings about fictional men every once a while!!!! 

makes no mistake i explored more rational options. during this time i made a rant abt it on here--i didnt want to! i tried not to make personal posts cause i dont want to bother strangers! but idk i guess my attention seeking whore ass just have to put my personal feelings out there eventually or i will die? anyways, a very nice mutual talked to me abt it, he was a trans man and as it turns out we shared a lot of similar experiences in regards to gender, and you’d think--hey maybe that helped? but no it fucking didn’t. it was nobody’s fault but it didn’t help, cause i clung on my womanhood for no apparent productive reason. i was still confused and, well, like a normal person i was like, let’s have human interaction! let’s actually explore my attraction to women! you don’t want to be with men so forget about them! forget what you might feel abt them! explore what you KNOW! explore certainty! so i did and ofc it ended up in shit, cause a girl who has a girlfriend (it was a closed relationship btw) asked me if i wanted to “hang out” on a dating app for wlws called HER and i genuinely thought it was a date? didnt know she has a girlfriend until AFTER we met. i wasn’t actually even surprised that she didn’t actually want to date me, because im ugly! im not attractive! im not even attracted to myself lol! plus she was very nice and cool and i was just happy that i made a friend with a fellow lesbian. but after that, i lost motivation to use that dating app, because one minor set-up and failure is all it takes for me to give up, its always like that with me. because im weak and pathetic, its always been like this. 

yeah at one point i basically said im non binary on my bio, but  i rather tell ppl im a lesbian and be done with it since im not entirely sure abt being non binary. Also, I know that non gender-conforming lesbians are everywhere, cis lesbians who are uncomfortable with gender identity exist! butches exist! they are here and they deal with it and they find community. but i don’t identify with...being butch? it was very nice to see gender non conforming, tom-boyish or butchy women out there, they  gave me hope, they are my heroes but i just dont feel like...they are me? i dont feel like feminine women either, im attracted to feminine women but i dont identify with their look and their femininity. like i said, this is a huge fucking mess. 

And now i have finally fucking done it, huh, dorian fucking p*vus, a gay male character. The clownery of it all! how the fuck, do i explain to ANYONE that i, a lesbian, have feeling that isn’t entirely platonic about a fictional gay man? yeah thats right thats why i romance him! i lied! ok! i fucking lied, it was cause i want to fuck him! ok! yeah, i know, ridiculous. i feel like im disrespecting him, that im , idk, fetishizing him, but i am not! i can’t be! i love him so much it hurts? it shouldnt be like that. i really shouldn’t. i cant make sense of this, its driving me nuts. still, this whole ordeal eventually got me thinking abt my gender, yet again, and it pushed me over the edge and i even told my dad that i want to transition this summer, that i am a man because i thought maybe i’d be much happier and less repressed if i can just accept that i like men-- if i can explore this possibility. i know i will NEVER accept liking man as a woman, and i know i already kinda have some sort of identification with manhood and masculinity, so why not! i was coming up with solutions! but i didnt even fall in love with a real man, and i was considering this serious level of transition in my life that requires time, money, and the process concerns health risk??? for what??? i was looking up all these info about transition, for WHAT? i gotta be out of my fucking mind! the most ridiculous thing is that while i always like a number of female characters, i would never feel as strongly about any of them in particular as i would, for that one fucking man. Even merrill, like, i love her and i genuinely feel like i want to be with a girl like her int he future but i dont feel as strongly about her as i would for dorian, for some, fucking, reason. 

i headcanon the lavellan i used to romance dorian as a trans man, cause i was thinking, perhaps this would put things into perspective. and yeah, i wanna fuck dorian, but also i want to envision what my future CAN be using my lavellan as a proxy. things were simpler with my lavellan. he was handsome and had no body image issue, he was fit, transition was easy for him cause magic and he virtually spent no money on it, he was passing, his family and community fully supported him, he had a lovely girlfriend before he knew he was trans. sure, he has problems and issues to deal with but none are the ones i gotta deal with. he is not me, but he has what i wanted and what i wish i had: beauty, confidence, a girlfriend, easy FTM transition, and he is a man so he’s legally allowed to fuck dorian. but i did not transition, and im still a cis woman with long hair, and ppl looks at me and they probably still thinks im straight, im not straight but i AM a ugly cis woman and i dont think transition’d help cause i might just become a even uglier man lol. And if i dont become a beautiful, stunning man, then i dont want to become a man at all cause if things dont turn out perfectly for me, i dont want to do them and its always like that for me and its why im a fucking failure on everything right now. so many trans people are not passing, but they deal with it, not me tho! i can’t, cause im a pathetic baby!!!  i cant deal with any minor inconvenience in my fucking life i guess!!!! And i cant help but to feel weird about having a trans man as one of my ocs. maybe i should make him cis instead? im so exhausted,  i cant help but to feel that my trans mutuals want to just pull the trigger on me and unfollow me cause you all are silently judging me for having a trans oc when im still technically, cis. well judge me in my fucking face you fucking cowardly fucks! Am i cis? well idk, probably, maybe im just a hysterical crazy bitch of a cisgender^tm woman who is constantly uncomfortable with her gender, maybe thats all there is. who knows, all i know is that im burnt out, that i don’t know anything anymore and it was all a huge fucking mess that things dont matter. this is causing me nothing but pain and confusion and i dont want to be wrong myself. ftm transition is not, “oh geez lets just explore a option” kind of deal, its kinda fucking serious  and its stressing me out. i dont know what i want, who i am, anything and i can’t afford to be wrong so i dont know!!!!! i just dont know!!!!!!!! i talked abt with a therapist actually but all therapist do is to LIE lie AND LIE and tell me things i already know, “you need to be careful with about transitioning! it’s a big decision” who pays you to say this garbage to me? “you are capable and beautiful and you can do this! believe in yourself!” as if ppl saying this shit is enough???? as if i still need to go see a fucking therapist if i am magically ok after i talk to somebody and they tell me lies that sound validating????i know they dont believe in what they said anyways. “you are ok! you are fine, you have no problem” BITCH I WISH I AM OK, BUT AM I OK? IM FUCKING NOT AND YOU ARE $60 RICHER THAN AN YOU ARE AN HOUR AGO! FUK YOU! LIES LIES LIES!!!!! men lie too, i put on some bad eyeliner and some random creepy dude came and told me im beautiful! beautiful my ass! im fucking ugly and i know it, you really think im fucking stupid you fuck? am i just being a special snowflake? are the things that i know for certainty actually certainty??? nothing about me feels real anymore, and maybe im just being dramatic but  my self perception is non existent and i feel like im just lying to myself even though i thought i was being truthful and ppl keep telling me lies and nothing helps. im living on lies and it is festering 

[bluedraggy]

TSO - As in Trans-Siberian Orchestra

I just went to one of their concerts and it was a visual wonder. Their style is unique and they occupy a niche that no one knew existed. I would describe it as taking themes and melodies - primarily from Christmas carols, but also from other classical sources (most familiarly Pachebel's Canon in D Major) and turning them into rock anthems. The sound is unabashedly 80's Rock with tons of machismo laden bass and distorted guitars, yet with a healthy smattering of violin. They make you wish for long hair you can thrash back and forth with your "Sign of the Horns" fist raised high in old-school heavy metal style, all the while celebrating Christmas of all things.

The concert was scheduled to start at 8 and by 8:15 it was underway, nonstop for two and a half hours and in unrelenting 4/4 time. There wasn't a single song I'd ever heard from them that was missed. While Canon didn't have the children's choir that's associated with it, they more than made up for it with a 10 piece choir. (okay, 9 I guess looking closer at the picture...)

I learned a bit about them before attending the concert. There was genius at work when the concept was created first of all. I doubt anyone but an avid fan could name a single member of the band, which works out great as they now actually are 2 'bands' (that word doesn't sound right, but then neither does 'orchestra') - TSO-East and TSO-West, but all are consummate musicians and showmen. And there was at least one marriage proposal up front. (Understandable actually.)

I really couldn't say how many people make up TSO. Their show is really more of a "Show" with a capital S. And they're not exclusively instrumental either - there were at least 3 separate singers that were all amazing soloists and could rightfully carry a band on their own, but TSO throws in 3. Or 4. Or 12. As for the musicians...

1 thunderous bass player 3 (at least! Easily could have been 4 or more!) guitar players 2 keyboard players 3 (at least!) vocalists - not including the choir 1 nonstop drummer who must be having the time of his life playing 1 sexy violin-ist (is that a word?) that easily rocked with the best of them 10 (guessing here) choir vocalists 6 (again, a guess) local guest 'orchestra' members 1 'MC' who narrated the 1st half's 'story'

And yet at a couple of key points they brought the leader out front who really personalized the band by talking to the audience in a much more casual manner - really a needed break from the perfectionism of the majority of the show which can leave you wondering if these guys are actually human.

Now with a show like this, it's easy to wonder if perhaps there's not some MIDI magic or backing tracks going on, but I really don't think there were. There didn't need to be with so many musicians involved.

But now I have to break away from talking about the 'band' to discuss the light show. It was second to none, and I've seen a few. This is obviously THE state of the art rock show. It helps that their music lends itself so well to visuals too, but I've literally never seen anything like it. Lasers everywhere, live fire displays that warmed my face from even where I was, videos containing all the expected tropes that this style of music evokes (wolves, dragons, helicopters, castles, cgi snow-covered cities, etc.)

They've got some really cool things overhead I can only describe as massive 'circles' with video screens in the center, lights ringing them, and on synchronized supports that make them move around in a way you have to see to appreciate. The ONLY technical problem was that one of the screens on one of these died a little way into the show. It was really no problem, but in any project so massive you'd have to expect SOMETHING to go a little wrong. Certainly nothing else did!

And finally, when the leader of the band stopped to give a shout out to the musicians (he had to do this twice to cover them all!), the sound engineers and the roadies, he said they had something like 112 people helping to set up the stage (although really there are 2 stages in a sense).  The 4 huge raised-platforms that are used in certain songs are vertigo-inducing even from a safe spot on the floor.

I doubt anyone could argue that this may be the absolute pinnacle of this sort of show. Honestly after 2 hours, your eyes begin to bleed from the overload, but it's an experience you cannot forget. No, not all the songs work at the same level as their biggest hits - but none will bore you, that I can promise! Plus you may be surprised at how many you know. Going in I could name about 3, and some mixed together in my head.

And they know their audience. When those 'hits' start, they pull out all the stops. Christmas Canon - unforgettable even without the child choir. Granted, how can you go wrong when you start with Pachebel's Canon in D Major? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cP26ndrmtg

Christmas Eve/ Sarajevo - I didn't know the name of this one, but certainly recognized it when it started! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHioIlbnS_A

Wizards in Winter - How can anyone not know this one, if nothing else from the synchronized Christmas house light-show video that was everywhere a decade ago (2009). A shout out to that guy who first came up with that btw. Must have been a mighty effort back then to do that. The idea has been improved on of course since then, but it's a whole 'nuther thing to come up with it on your own. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWBjl-jPcVM

Requiem (The Fifth) - classic TSO though I'd never heard it. No points for guessing what theme is used for this one though. A bit of a Mozard/Beethoven mash but it works awfully well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsxzBCr2zNM

To end this little reviewishthing, if you get a chance (and, of course, you’d have to like TSO's style), go. You won't regret it.

Oh, also they're American in origin. Not a Russian in sight, though some of the musicians are indeed from Eastern Europe at least. Also, as far as I could tell, no Trans either. Though that female violin player's black leather outfit was pretty hot. :) FWIW I’m sure the specific group I saw was TSO-East.

[groundramon]

🔥🔥🔥

SHIT I FORGOT TO RESPOND TO THIS

but here’s today’s hot take: majority group people can have opinions on things that they’re the majority/oppressors of, BUT their opinions should not be the basis of legal or moral obligation.

For example, I dislike mint.  Does that mean I think everyone should dislike mint?  While I wish they would so I wouldn’t have to smell it because everyone thinks its a good smell and doesn’t consider that others cant stand it, no, I don’t think everyone should dislike mint.  Do I think mint should be illegal?  No, of course not.  I wish others were more considerate of being around me irl due to my repulsion to the smell of mint, but otherwise, my dislike of mint is purely of opinion and I don’t have any right to say someone is a bad person for disliking mint.

Cis people can have opinions on trans issues, truscum discourse, ect.  HOWEVER, the second they make a truscum-oriented blog, make fun of tucutes, use the wrong pronouns for someone because they dont think they’re “trans enough”, ect, they have stepped over the line.  This includes cis lgbt people btw, not just cishets.  You can think that transtrending is a real thing, but you’re not allowed to tell people who ID as trans whether or not you think they’re trans, directly or indirectly.  You may have opinions and observations, but otherwise, this is OUR debate, not yours.  Your job is to support ALL trans people in order to be a good ally.  If you aren’t willing to do that, don’t call yourself an ally.  It’s that simple.

Similarly, I (as a white person) can have opinions and observations on racial issues, racial microaggressions, ect.  However, it isn’t my place to say that my observations are inherently true and that my opinion should be considered alongside the opinions of POC.  I can reinforce what other POC say, but if some POC say something is wrong and others say something is fine, I should generally take to heart the idea that it’s wrong just to be safe.

Compassion is really key in these situations, I feel like?  It’s ALWAYS better to try and avoid offending people to the best of your abilities.  I get where that “you’ll offend everyone these days” mentality comes from but for fuck’s sake, shouldn’t you at least make an ATTEMPT to offend as few people as possible?

Compassion is especially key in issues that you’re a minority group in but not the minority group being affected (IE, antiblackness as a non-black person of color, homophobia as a non-sga aspec person, ect) or in discussions that affect multiple groups (IE ace discourse).  But ultimately speaking, there are times when you’ll help others by keeping your opinions to yourself.  Again, it’s an issue of compassion, not of inherent worth - but if you give your opinion on these important issues when it doesn’t affect you and hurts others, well that’s pretty mean, and I think being pretty mean is pretty worthless.

Antiblackness amongst people of color is none of my concern.  I only need to support black people and all people of color.

I need to be careful what I say on homophobia because, as an acearo trans person, I know less about it than someone who has personally experienced it.  Because of the intertwining of transphobia and homophobia I do know more than I do about racism, but I try to be open to new arguments since I don’t truly know as well as others.

(Tbh this was gonna start as a semi-SU critical thing, but it was more of a “I cant defend SU from any allegations of racism because its just not my place”, but it turned into this instead but I still stand by that.  I WILL say tho that nothing the show has ever done is transphobic and I’m HIGHLY skeptic of the homophobia card since Rebecca is literally bisexual and nonbinary.  But my point is I can’t speak on racism, and I feel like neither can Rebecca since she’s not a person of color to my knowledge, so I hope if there’s anything wrong with the characters of color in SU, Rebecca can better round them out in the future.)

[lifeofcynch]

okay so...

holy shit???

okay i have... some things to say about these messages i got. so there was this post about respecting men, and in the comments i saw this dude right here, saying something like ‘misandry doesn’t exist’. and i was like ‘by your logic, misogny doesn’t exist either.’ boy did he freak out, as you can see in the screenshots above... like holy fuck let me respond to the stuff he said. i can’t do it directly, ‘cause he immediately blocked me before i could respond. bigotry, much? anyways...

“hi you do realize i’m a dude right?”

actually no. because i don’t know anything about you. i haven’t seen your user before. also, i never said that you were a girl.

“and i’m telling you, misandry isn’t real.”

yes, it absolutely is. misandry is just as real as misogny is. sexism happens to both parts.

“also why tf do you think you have any stance on trans issues and call yourself ‘anti-tucute’ as a cis chick?”

because: 1. even though i’m cis, i actually care about trans people’s rights. shocking, i know. showing common human decency and understanding for other people. how unheard of! 2. i can voice my opinion on any topic i want. it’s called ‘free speech’. look it up, buddy. 3. i’m anti-tucute and pro-truscum because i honestly just really hate what tucutes have done. they say that you don’t need dysphoria to be trans (WHICH YOU ABSOLUTELY DO BTW), and that anyone can just choose to be trans even though they are comfortable with the body they were born with. that is literally against what it means to be trans. transgenderism requires dysphoria. you can’t just choose to be trans. sure, you can label yourself as trans, but that doesn’t mean you actually are. do you know how harmful that is to trans people? like, actually trans people? oh, and also, the majority of truscum/transmeds are transgender people. i simply stand with them and support them.

“ANTI-KIN AND 18 I’M GONNA FUCKING PISS KIN DRAMA TRUSCUM”

1. what does me being 18 have to do with anything? 2. yes. i’m anti-kin. why? because, and i’m gonna be completely honest here... this whole otherkin/fictionkin/factkin community that exists on this website is a pile of bullshit. it’s stupid, it’s not scientifically possible, and it’s very harmful. if a person comes up to me and unironically says ‘hey so i completely and fully believe that i was sans the skeleton i my past life.’ or ‘hi i’m dragonkin and i really miss flying around and burning down villages’, i am not gonna take that person seriously. otherkin is one of the dumbest things i’ve ever seen. it’s also a very obviously desperate call for attention. if you actually think you used to be a fucking wolf, you should probably go and see a therapist, because that’s... not normal. at all. but that’s just my opinion, you don’t have to agree with it.

“GOD you’re so fucking retarded, DO SOMETHING actually meaningful with your life loser”

oh boy. using the r-word, huh? what a great way to get your point across! i’m impressed! oh, and i’m doing lots of meaningful things with my life. you don’t know me. and just because you don’t think it’s meaningful, doesn’t mean i don’t. 

“i swear, ya’ll tumblr ‘anti sjws’ are so pathetic and lame”

well, that’s your opinion lol. 

“you guys weren’t bullied enough in high school”

my, oh my! hoping people had a terrible childhood! how nice! you seem like a good and reasonable person! i have to say, i’m very impressed, wow!

“and that’s how we end up with ‘autistic anti-kin anti-tucute anti-misandry soft pastel cishet girl uwuwu’ tumblr users”

yes, i am on the autism spectrum. nothing wrong with that. just how i was born, and i’m proud of it. yes, i also like soft pastel colors. yes, i’m cis and straight. again, just how i was born. 

“like you realize absolutely nothing you do here makes a difference, right?”

hmm... could say the same thing to people with your mindset. 

“’misandry’ won’t stop until you stop the cause, misogny and sexist violence towards women”

sexism and violence happens to both men and women. misogny and misandry are equally big problems that both need to be stopped.

“truscum are a dying breed of pseudo intellectuals, along with anti-sjws”

i could say the same thing about tucutes and radical sjws.

“people being kinnies doesn’t fucking matter in the real world, you’re fighting for a cause that doesn’t even exist”

oh, i know that. the otherkin community is obviously not a problem in the real world, but i have a right to dislike it. it has it’s problems, mostly on this site. it’s definitely not healthy. i also feel like it kind of makes a mockery of mentally ill people. and it’s not the only thing i’m fighting for. i’m fighting alongside, or against, many many different things. the otherkin thing is just a small part of it. 

“you’re actually wasting your life and time”

again, that’s your opinion. i like what i’m doing. i don’t feel like i’m wasting time.

“kys”

and there we have it! the cherry on top, the icing on the cake! the all so classic ‘kill yourself’ line! telling people you disagree with to commit suicide! wow, amazing! a round of applause for this guy! 

boy, what a journey that was. 

but guess what, @sicktaboo, my dude. you did absolutely nothing to change my mind! you only strengthened my beliefs and opinions further! thank you for that! ^v^

anyways, i’ll just keep on voicing my opinions, supporting transmeds, reblogging cute pastel content and art, and living my life that i’m very comfortable and happy with! :D 

bye!