#I know everyone is wondering if Neil tells Andrew

[purpleelephantsocks]

What I really want to know is after Neil came back from his Cali visit-a-friend take-out-a-hit piss-off-the-FBI One Day Holiday, what, if anything, does he tell Kevin??

When Kevin asks "how is he?" How does Neil answer?

Did he tell him that he showed up to Jean beaten and bitten and terrified? That he left him with the knowledge that his little sister that he hoped was safe had been sold and killed?

Did he tell Kevin that another of his former teammates was going to end up in the ground? That he made sure of it? Did he tell him before it was plastered on the news, or watch for his reaction?

Did he confront Kevin, asking if he knew? If he knew what Grayson did? What he was to Jean?

[kairospy]

AU:

Neil doesn’t meet the foxes, he’s instead caught by the FBI

He helps them catch his father and bring down his empire.

One day he’s brought in to Andrew’s lecture as a guest speaker

The Q&A at the end:

Student: Have you ever killed someone?

Neil: There’s two FBI agents at the door who advised me against answering that specific question. There’s your answer.

Student: What’s the best way to get fake documents?

Neil: I’m legally required to say “don’t”.

Student: What’s the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?

Neil: See, that’s a trick question, because if I answer it becomes the most illegal thing I’ve admitted to.

Student: What’s the hardest lie youve ever had to tell?

Neil: “Sure, I’d love to do a Q&A with a bunch of people who are weirdly obsessed with my father and decided to study crimes because they don’t have the balls to commit them.”

Student: Are you afraid your father’s people will come after you?

Neil *at the end of his fucking rope*: No, I feel completely safe. That’s why I’ve got armed federal agents waiting outside.

Student: How’d you get caught?

Neil: First of all, rude. Second, the FBI made a very compelling argument

Student: …which one

Neil: “cooperate or find out exactly how many laws you’ve broken” - said by a guy holding a very thick file. Direct. Effective. Hard to argue while zip-tied to a chair.

Student: What’s something you miss about your old life?

Neil: being able to leave a room without seven cops and a judge asking where I’m going.

Student: If you could do it all over again, would you?

Neil: I’d rather set myself on fire. I know you don’t understand that reference, but trust me when I say it’s funny.

Student: how many identities have you had?

Neil: Simultaneously or in total?

Student: …total?

Neil: enough that I had to check my ID before answering roll call

Student: what’s the worst crime you’ve ever committed?

Neil: do you want me to answer this as Neil Josten or Nathaniel Wesninski? The distinction matters.

Student: Have you ever made someone disappear?

Neil *looking over his shoulder at Browning*: goodness gracious no

Student: How many languages do you speak?

Neil: enough to talk my way out of things… mostly into them, though

Student: Why did you agree to talk to us?

Neil: it was this or community service

He’s as unhelpful as possible.

His entire goal is to waste everyone’s time while making it just interesting enough that no one can call him out on it.

And Andrew? He’s watching. He’s enthralled. He’s interested, and isn’t that odd.

The professor looks like she regrets her entire career. Half the class is too stunned to speak. Browning is wondering if the punishment for beating up the most valuable witness the FBI has in custody would be worth it. (It would)

Anyway long story short. 5 minutes in Andrew’s in love

[smittenmeraki]

I have so many random ideas of Andreil being found out by the media in the strangest ways. My personal fav so far is them going pro and being on different teams. They end up playing against each other and everyone starts to think their rivals because Andrew keeps launching the ball at Neils helmet. After like 7 headshots from across the court Neil swears at him in german something along the lines of "I know you're doing that on purpose quit being a bitch for the sake of your entertainment or I swear I will empty your candy drawer" and of course Andrew's just there with his blank expression leaning on his racket, knowing Neil will forget all about it when they're home. However, all the fans see is Andrew targeting Neil over and over no matter where he is on the court so everyone thinks they hate each other until some weeks later an article is released with pictures of them grocery shopping together. Andrew is in the cart eating candy he hasn't even bought yet while Neil scans the aisle with a hand in Andrews hair. Another picture of them loading everything into the car, Andrew with a hand on Neils waist as he opens the backdoor. The article is titled something like "rivals or lovers : a deep dive into their history" and it brings up points like Andrew protecting Neil from Riko and Neil getting Andrew to shut down the goal with just a few words (ones no one knows), but also points of them shoving each other and getting in each others faces (tbh they were just flirting but from an outside prospective it was violence because they are never normal) all of the fan theories come to a head when Neil gets interviewed.

"What is your thoughts on the rumors about you and Minyard?"

"Rumors?"

"Yes, the ones about you two being teammates turned rivals turned lovers. Many fans are speculating what your relationship is and several articles have become very popular over it."

"We were never rivals??" Neil is absolutely lost at this idea, complete confusion.

"Really? Never once over the years?"

"No? And what articles? I don't understand how this has anything to do with Exy."

"Its about your career in the sense that Andrew Minyard has been a challenge for you." Neil smiles at the idea of Andrew being a challenge. "There was a really big article that shared some photos of you two together at a grocery store. It's rather unusal to see you two in a domestic setting, can you tell us about that? Many are wondering why you shop together." The first photo is pulled up on the big screen and Neil just stares for a moment, unsure of when it was taken.

"1. Its creepy that that was taken without us knowing. 2. I don't know what you want me to tell you, Andrew's not allowed out of the cart because he's a mence to shop with or maybe he refuses to let me go alone because I constantly forget things. Its just normal every day life, same as everyone else. 3. Because we live together?? I still don't see the relevance any this has to Exy. Many spouses go against each others teams, it's a part of being pro's."

"Spouses? So you are confirming you and Minyard are married?"

"Not on paper. Fundamentally yes. I thought this interview was supposed to be about how our season is going?" Neil sits back, baffled but also slightly smug from the look of shock on the interviewers face.

Meanwhile Andrew is at home with the cats eating a tub of ice cream while watching the interview thinking to himself 'yeah, fucking tell her. Noisy ass drama seeker.'

[allfortheslay25]

Dreamscapers pt1

All for the Gravity Falls AU

Text:

Neil: I know that when we started this, you said that there were some things you couldn’t tell me if they were related to your past, but I wonder about the armbands…

Text:

Minyard: First, there is no ‘this’. Second, if you know then why are you asking?

Neil: don’t be like that. I’m curious, you wear them even now but you told Nicky they were your brother—

Minyard: don’t push me, ‘Josten’

Neil: and why not, ‘Mr Minyard’

Minyard: Listen here, just because I blw you doesn’t mean I like you. I tolerate you at best. Now get out and don’t let any of them see you

Run down:

We start with Neil getting dressed in Minyard’s room. (Andrew disguised as Aaron but to Neil, he is only Mr Minyard) Neil starts asking about Minyard’s armbands despite his prior warnings that Minyard would never talk about his past and Neil is only allowed to ask about the present or future. Minyard reminds him as such until Neil tries to bring up that Nicky once mentioned the armbands belonged to Aaron’s brother Andrew. Andrew warns Neil and makes fun of his name (trying to put Neil in his place about secrets since Josten isn’t his real name) Neil does the same back since although he doesn’t know the truth, he does know that the name Mr Minyard is meant to hide something. That prompts Minyard to kick Neil out with some bitter last words

Neil is sent into the rain pour to walk himself home when he hears a commotion from inside just a minute after his leave. Riko is then thrown out the front door by Minyard who ignores Riko’s threats to steal the Mystery Shack

Text:

Neil: Leave them alone, Riko

Riko: Mind your own, Scar Face. You need employment so bad you sell yourself to this white trash. When I steal the deed, y’all never see this place again. Do yourself a favor and find a different bed to warm

Neil tries to make Riko leave since he looks ridiculous, standing in the rain and ruining his nice clothes. Riko spits back at Neil, warning him to find another job since Riko is sure the shack will be his and he will not be offering employment to Neil when it is

Neil punches Riko for implying he was a pro and Riko leaves. Afterward, Riko uses an incantation to summon Bill Cipher and makes a deal for him to steal the deed by invading Minyard’s mind

April and Anais overhears and go to Neil and Nicky for help

Text:

April: Neil! We need your help! Kitty is in trouble!

Neil puts on his flannel and follows April to the shack where everyone is just in time to witness Bill enter Minyard’s mind.

Notes:

- The girls call Minyard, ‘Kitty’ since they refuse to call him dad, and he doesn’t want them calling him Aaron. He’s the guy with cats so Kitty it is

- Riko is not connected to the mafia in this au. He and Tetsuji moved to Oregon to scam ppl with faux divination. So he’s never met Neil, was not friends with Kevin, and his only goals are to uncover the mysteries of the journals and take their power for himself

- Andrew is 42 in this au, Neil is 41 physically but his drivers license states he is about 24-28 since the FBI wanted to keep people from finding him

- While Neil works at the shack, he does do other jobs around Gravity Falls. However it is a running gag that he cannot keep a job for too long so he is constantly being fired or quits.

[andrewsleftarmband]

TGR SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Okay I’m back for some more rambling incoherency, and this time I want to talk about Aaron’s trial.

I have been DYING for any information about the trial since I read the kings men and the EC. I was hoping that we’d get some sort of info in tgr, and honestly Nora gave us more than I thought she would (thank you so much mother)

Lets start with this

My first time reading this I immediately wondered if he waived the jury for andrews sake, and now I’m absolutely convinced that that is what happened. Now im just wondering if Aaron did it without being asked, or if it came from Andrew himself.

I’ll bet so much that the only reason Kevin’s focus stayed on exy is because it’s his crutch. I think kevin was more affected than he let on to Jeremy, and I’ll bet he channeled all of that into being absolutely insufferable on the court.

I wonder what those couple weeks leading up to it were like. I wonder how many joint (and solo) sessions were devoted to trial preparation. I wonder if anyone was able to look anyone else in the eye. I wonder if Neil was already planning to use his mafia family influence to potentially get Aaron out of prison. I wonder if Andrew spoke a single word. I have so many thoughts omg

I’m glad that Nora kept Betsy going with Andrew. The EC stated that neil made an appointment with her just to tell her that Andrew needed her. That he was going to see Cass, and he needed a mother. Betsy being there makes me think this is still canon, and I fucking love that so much. Betsy and Andrew will always get me so soft omg.

I fucking love this so much. That’s my BOY right there!!!!!! Oh, I’m sorry, you want to step out of line and then the worst parts of someone’s life into a sensationalist cover story? Get fucked cunt.

Really though, imagine being Andrew, nerves already frayed because you have to go and say OUT LOUD the worst things that have ever happened to you, and show everyone your weakest points. Imagine already hanging on by a fucking thread, because you’re giving everyone a knife and turning your back. And then someone walks right up to that last thread you’re hanging onto with some scissors. I’d have snapped too. I love how Jeremy notes that it was bee who got Andrew to go inside instead of go after the camera man. She really is his rock and I love it so much.

I find this absolutely fascinating. First off, the visuals are *chefs kiss*, that was probably a fantastic photo, as disreputable as it was. But there’s a lot going on here.

First, Jeremy mentions Andrew and Kevin are as far away from each other as possible with Neil halfway in between. I know there is some symbolism there, but I can’t quite put my finger on why Neil in the middle is so significant.

I wonder who was avoiding who. Was Andrew avoiding Kevin because how could he be Kevin’s protector now? How could Kevin see him as someone strong when everyone knows now how weak he is? He can’t be near Kevin because he can’t be near the reminder of his failures.

Was Kevin avoiding Andrew? Andrew is unshakable. Andrew is unbreakable. Except he isn’t, and Kevin knows that now. He’s known it since November, but now he has to deal with it. And maybe the reminder that Andrew is breakable is a reminder that he is too. That he can’t always put a barrier between him and his problems. But maybe Kevin was scared of Andrew. Maybe he expected him to explode, rage boiling over and in need of a target. Maybe he was remembering fingers around his throat. Or maybe he was worried he’d set Andrew off. Didn’t want to cause any more discomfort for him.

I don’t know, but I can’t stop thinking about it.

And then Neil, not sure who he was supposed to be following. Should he follow andrew and try to be there as some kind of support? Should he try to offer some comfort or maybe even just a cigarette and some company? Or should he follow Kevin, and make sure Kevin doesn’t lose it on the stand? Maybe he should go with Kevin, because Andrew can’t be with him right now but Kevin still needs someone. Maybe he should be what Andrew can’t and watch over his charge.

In the end, he goes with Kevin. I wonder if Andrew looked back to give him a nod, some sort of signal to go after Kevin. I wonder if he kept walking without looking, and Neil in his near perfect understanding of this boy knows that he can’t be around another person right now. Kevin needs him now, maybe Andrew will need him later.

I wonder if the reason Kevin never responded to Jeremy was because he got himself fucking obliterated as soon as he was back from the courthouse. I wouldn’t be surprised.

Now THIS is probably one of my favorite moments from the trial. I don’t often think of Nicky as being one to fly off the handle, but I know he can. There’s definitely a couple times in the books he throws a punch, I just can’t remember the specifics right now.

But anyways, I wonder how much of this was anger and how much was grief. I imagine it was a bit of both. Nicky loves his parents so much. Or at least he did. And seeing them on the courthouse must have reopened every single wound they’ve ever inflicted on him because how could he do this? His own father let Drake upstairs. On the surface, this is easily pinned all on Luther. But I wonder if Nicky was blaming himself too. Blaming himself for making everyone go, for not noticing what was up with Andrew, for not understanding that he isn’t a monster, for all the times he came on too strong and made terrible jokes and oh goodness how couldn’t he have known?

I think this confrontation was a boiling over of a rage and a grief that he’s been burying for a long time. Rage over what happened to Andrew, what his parents did to him, how his parents set up the attack in November. Rage over what Aaron had to do. And then grief, for his childhood, and his cousins childhood, and for the parents he thought he knew. This was the last straw, and he’s never giving them another chance. How could he? Maybe it’s that old old pain, the why don’t they love me? That’s finally boiling over. And honestly, good for him.

The fact that security practically bodied him up the stairs is telling. He was going at it. He was losing it. And I think he needed that. Nicky has really been through it, but he hasn’t really worked through any of it. And he had to confront all of it and then some on those court steps.

I wonder if he cried through his testimony. If he was sorting through every memory he had of Andrew from the time he took guardianship to that very day, looking for signs and all the ways he should have helped. All the ways he failed.

I wonder if he got wasted with Kevin.

The last big thing I want to point out is this. I’m honestly rather surprised that Kevin thinks Aaron getting all charges dismissed is unexpected. The case is very very clear cut, there’s hardly any argument you could make that this wasn’t defensive. Maybe there’s something we don’t know, some angle the prosecution was taking that could have ended badly, but I don’t think so.

What this also made me think of was the back up plans in case Aaron actually did end up in prison. I wonder if Andrew was already planning to switch and take his place, or if he was considering something more violent like Kevin suggests. I wonder if Neil was already in contact with his crime people, trying to find the right people to take the case so it’d be in their favor. I wonder how many arguments Neil and Andrew had about that, because I can imagine Andrew wanting to protect Aaron himself. Wanting to be the one making sure it goes right, not trusting anyone else with his brother. Maybe even Neil. There’s so much to think about.

One small note I want to make is Katelyn going with Aaron every day but the first. I wonder if Andrew or Aaron or even Neil told her to do that, or if it was her prerogative. Either way it’s so respectful I love it.

I loved everything about this, I really have been so obsessed with Aaron’s trial. Definitely one of my favorite things from the book omg. Sorry if I’m incoherent as fuck I just have so many thoughts. I can’t wait to read fox pov fics of this omg.

[ninyard]

Thoughts on Kevin ending up nonverbal after Baltimore and everyone’s reaction

God. I love this.

Neil comes back, everyone - even Andrew, especially Andrew - is focusing on him, and listening to him talk, and Kevin kind of... sinks off into the background.

He doesn't mind it, really. Yeah, it's weird that Andrew has hardly looked at him, it's weird that Neil hasn't said much to him at all yet, but it's okay. He sits back, and listens. But the more time that passes, the more this feeling creeps its way up into his chest, around his heart, around his throat.

What will the Moriyama's do now that the Butcher is dead? Has Neil implicated them in it all, did he rat them out to the FBI? If the Moriyama's name finds itself involved in the investigation, how long is it until Day is mentioned? How long is it until someone starts questioning the hand, and the nest, and how long is it until all of these loose ends and messy leads find their way right up to Riko's feet?

There's a hundred questions in his head, but all he can do is sit and stare at a drink in his hand as the stories about Nathaniel Wesninski find their way around the room. Usually at this point Andrew would turn to him, and look between his eyes, and send him some sort of comfort, but he was too involved to care. But that's okay.

Kevin isn't sure he would be of much comfort right now, anyway - he thinks of his hands around his throat, he thinks about how scared he was to lose Neil, how quickly he turned on Kevin to keep Neil safe. Kevin doesn't blame him. But he doesn't forget about it. He knows what it means.

He sleeps that night without saying anything, he's not even sure anybody noticed him leaving early the next morning. He goes for a run as the sun comes up, and the dorm room is still empty when he returns. He makes a coffee. He sits by the broken window. He thinks of all the things he could say to Neil, the things he wants to say to Neil, but nothing feels right. Everything is half formed, and worthless, and when he imagines the words leaving his mouth, they lose their meaning. They lose their purpose.

Andrew texts him sometime before 10, later than Kevin expected him to text, but earlier than he expected him to be awake. It's not much, but something that doesn't require much effort to answer - you good? Kevin doesn't respond. Instead he takes a shower, pulling on the most comfortable and loose fitting clothes he can find afterwards, and he finds himself under the covers of his bed before he could find the energy to convince himself to be productive. He pulls the sheets tight around his head, hugging himself to keep the fabric from loosening.

He thought Neil was dead. He knew Neil should be dead. But he wasn't. And somehow, for some reason, it felt like he was next.

It felt like Neil had dodged certain death time and time and time again, and Kevin had just gotten off lucky. How could he explain that? How could he explain to anyone that he was glad Neil had survived, but he didn't understand it at all? How could he explain to anyone that he was afraid he was next - perhaps if he'd spent more time listening to what Neil was saying the night beforehand, he'd know more about what he'd told the FBI. Instead he'd spent most of that time exhausted and anxious.

He tried to tell himself it was jealousy, for a while, to shame himself into stopping this selfish feeling, but that wasn't true. Jealous that the attention wasn't on him, jealous that everyone cared so much about Neil. He wasn't jealous of anything Neil had been through. For a minute he wondered if it was the attention, but Kevin had never cared much for the attention of his teammates. He'd lost most of their desire to be his friend quite quickly into his arrival to South Carolina, and Andrew was the only one who seemed in anyway interested in dealing with his bullshit. Even then Kevin knew it was a chore, an obligation. Was Andrew his friend? Was he his friend anymore?

Do I keep going? Do I keep thinking about Kevin going into this hole of not knowing what to say, not knowing who cares, not knowing what matters? There probably isn't much of a reaction at all - the only reason people notice being that it's been suspiciously long since Kevin has bitched to them. Neil notices as quick as Andrew does, but he has so much recovery to do, so much mental energy to recoup.

I just picture the trip to the cabins, and Kevin still hasn't said much at all, but nobody really notices. Andrew can't be bothered trying to pull it out of him, so he just accepts that Kevin's gone quiet, and he doesn't say anything about it. It's not that he doesn't care, he just doesn't see a point of trying, because when Kevin goes quiet, he has to come out of it himself. So Andrew knows there's nothing he can do. Neil notices it too, but Andrew just tells him that he's fine.

Then them telling him about Kengo? About Jean? Him finding out where Renee has gone?

[laurents-laces]

Dumping my thoughts on the new aftg short stories here to contain all the spoilers in one place, because if I don't get to talk about them I'm gonna explode. Someone very kindly made a typed-up version of them here if anyone wants them!

TFC: David

We all know Neil is "distressingly single-minded about Exy" but I'm dying at the revelation that people in Millport knew this about him. He was supposed to be lying low 😭

Kevinnnnnnnn my boy!!!

"This is better. Easier? Better." Ouch

I had a feeling he was seeing Betsy more often than twice a year! And that we just didn't know about it because Neil didn't. That's amazing for him

Wymack is being such a great dad right now and he doesn't even know it

So excited to have one (1) canonical sentence from Kayleigh Day herself

I was headcanoning Kevin as ten when he moved in with the Moriyamas. I know nine is only a year younger but somehow it's breaking my heart a little more

Awww I always thought he looked just like his mom

I hope he looks a little like Wymack too but no one noticed before

I wonder if he ended up telling Betsy who his dad is? I don't think so but I'm sure she'd have kept the secret. Even though it would've been so hard to keep a straight face about it

"Coaches have no honor. Your word is enough. Just yours." I wanna hit every Raven coach with a very heavy stick, starting with Tetsuji. But I love how Kevin's always trusted that Wymack was different. He can be a surprisingly hopeful person sometimes. He's a little like his dad in how he sees the potential in people no one else does

Am I crazy or is Wymack talking about Andrew here?? Because it reminds me of the part in the extra content where Andrew keeps breaking into Wymack's apartment to rant about Kevin, until one day it's Neil he's more interested in

I always thought that Andrew agreeing to protect Kevin so easily might mean he was kind of into him. If canon unrequited kandrew is gonna be a thing then Andrew and Jean should form a Victims of Kevin Day's Big Green Eyes Support Group

TRK: Betsy

I'm so upset right now I don't even have words

It's so interesting to see what Andrew is like alone with Betsy. And I love that Wymack makes him feel safe

He loves his brother!!

"They cannot keep him. I will not let them." I fully believe Andrew would be down to break Aaron out of prison if he got jail time

"One week Neil had been the subject of some very grandiose conspiracy theories, and the next Andrew had only said 'He's Kevin's problem now, the end!' and refused to elaborate." That's the most Andrew response he could've had 😭

And he was so right about Neil being suspicious as hell! I need everyone to look back on the beginning of the year and realize Andrew was right about him

"Everyone knows now, Bee." My heart just broke into a million pieces

"Neil flinched. He'd pushed because he needed to see that horrible smile crack. He needed to know if Andrew was screaming behind the euphoria his drugs fed his veins. But Andrew wasn't, and Neil couldn't live with that. Andrew's medicine was too strong or his psychosis too twisted; either way, tonight didn't mean anything to him. This was a setback Andrew could sidestep and ignore." That part of TRK really stuck with me. It's a good thing he didn't actually try to act completely unbothered by everything that night but it still hurts to hear about

"I know what happened to you today was beyond cruel and that Drake's death will not undo what he did to you. I know our system has failed you every step along the way and that a part of you will carry that distrust and betrayal for many years to come, if not for the rest of your life. And I know you have done astoundingly well despite life's every attempt to crush you. I'm sorry," she said, trying and failing to catch his eye, "and I'm so, so proud of you." She just said everything I'm feeling, perfectly

Chaos and mayhem, or Blockbuster. These books are so 2006. I miss Blockbuster

TKM: Aaron

This was the first one I read and it took me ages to get through because I was laughing so hard. Aaron calling andreil's matching arm bands a promise ring broke me

He's such an asshole. I love him. He might not like it but he's a Fox through and through

"Exy this, Exy that, get a fucking hobby already. Oh, but I guess he did?" He sent a pointed look at Andrew. He's the funniest character actually

I've always wondered if he was a little jealous of a certain mouthy liar who has everyone wrapped around his little finger. Hearing that Ichirou chose Neil over his own brother must've been a wild experience

I also wondered if he actually had a passion for medicine or if he just picked the most respectable career path he could think of. It's so good to hear that it's really something he loves. He's gonna get his dream job and fix things with his brother and marry the love of his life some day, and I'm so proud of him

Neurosurgeon Aaron and paediatrician Katelyn are properly canon now! It's nice to get all these details from the extra content as part of the actual books

A few months ago, Aaron never would have imagined Andrew needed his approval. Finding out how important he was to Andrew was an ongoing, eye-opening experience. Aaron finally realizing how much Andrew has done because of him might be my favourite thing

"His father's people tore up his arms with a lighter and knives, and none of it is going to fade. He doesn't need to see those." Andrew Minyard you fake idgafer. You care so much. So much.

I wonder what would've happened with andreil if Andrew was in less denial about their relationship? I don't think he'd date someone on purpose while the no-dating deal was still in effect

"Andrew didn't want to talk about Neil with Dobson because once he broached that subject he had to either lie to all of them or admit Neil was more important than he wanted him to be." I love that Aaron understands this about Andrew

I love that the only other Aaron POV story we have also ends with him being able to tell when Andrew is lying to himself. The twinyards have their misunderstandings but at the end of the day they get each other

[stabbyfoxandrew]

hiii

i love the little sun emojis hehe

i haven't read the latest Mafia Front parts yet (dishonor on my cow, but school is killing me) but i'm saving them for tonight after studying. my little treat : )

could i request dealer's choice between Mafia, Arson Neil and Angel Neil? i'm sorryyy, i can't pick

thank you and have an absolutely lovely tgr release week(end) <33

WIP Wednesday (2/19) | Guardian Angel Neil AU (Part 276)

Everything goes wrong.

From the moment they step into the Hemmick's home, everything is tense. Nicky's parents can't tell Andrew from Aaron, they barely understand who Kevin is, and they seem to have absolutely no interest in their son's life either. It's all a complete shit show. If only someone could've predicted this! Oh wait, Andrew did. He tried to stop Nicky from doing this, from re-breaking his own stupid, squishy heart but no...

Luckily Andrew doesn't have to participate in the very stilted conversation. He lets Aaron carry it and stares at Neil instead. The angel had followed him into the house like there was a place set for him at the table, like he was a guest, like he belonged here too. (None of them have ever belonged here.) But Neil didn't let that stop him from taking up residence in the corner and rambling about the time he'd spent in Montreal. Andrew listens intently, blocking out the humans at the table in favor of his angel's story.

No one pays him much mind. They’re used to Andrew zoning out when he’s deliriously bored. And everyone seems to understand that a bored Andrew is slightly better than any other kind, so they allow him to sit out.

They're halfway done suffering through Maria's cooking when Neil goes stiff and gives Luther an intense look. His eyes are twin blue flames in his skull with how bright they’re glowing, he stares at Luther for a solid minute and Andrew doesn’t know what he’s seeing. Neil turns this look on Nicky's mother a moment later then gets a bit fidgety. Antsy. Like he's about to rip out of his skin. After three weeks of watching Neil exist around the others, Andrew recognizes it from game nights and days when the team watches their latest matches. It's sort of the way Neil gets when he's having a rough time keeping himself invisible.

"Go." Andrew tells him in a whisper. As much as he'd love to parade his own personal angel around in front of these buffoons, he won't risk losing him for it. Even if it would be hilarious. Andrew wonders if they would be afraid or if they would fall to their knees, trying to worship something holy. (Neil gets enough worship, Andrew thinks. He doesn't need any from anyone else.)

When Neil doesn't move, Andrew clears his throat and says it aloud, "Get out of here."

Everyone in the table freezes up, turning to look at Andrew just as Neil nods and poofs away. Andrew’s not sure where he’ll go, probably to the roof. Silly bird.

"What?" Kevin asks beside him, the first to break the silence. Andrew blinks at him.

"I said 'let's get out of here'." Andrew lies. He turns to Maria, whose face he can stand slightly better than her husband's. "Nicky's grades are up, he's a college athlete chasing a difficult degree, he's in a relationship with someone who loves him more than you two ever will. Why are we still sitting here, Nicky?"

"Andrew, you said you'd try." Nicky says, looking downtrodden.

"Oh no I didn't. I said we would come. We're here, aren't we? Why not get to the point so I don't have to pretend to eat this dreadful slop anymore?" Andrew sits back in his seat, waiting for an answer. He doesn't get one from Nicky, but Aaron at least seems to find it funny. Or perhaps he's choking to death on whatever it is the Hemmicks have served them.

"Ignore him," Nicky finally says. "He doesn't mean it. You know he's loopy and all."

"Ouch, my feelings."

[coldsaturn]

I finished my reread of TKM (in its Italian translation, for a change) in preparation for TGR, and I have thoughts

There's something inherently addictive about a character knowing they're on a countdown and trying to make the most of the time they still have

"I didn't tell her." They were the only two in the car, but it took Neil a moment to realize he was being addressed. He glanced over at Aaron, but Aaron was gazing out the passenger window. "Neither did I," Neil said. "She asked you about Andrew." It wasn't a question, but Neil said, "Yes. You too?" "She doesn't ask me anything anymore," Aaron said. "She knows there's no point. I haven't ever said a word to her." //Of course they hate each other so much, they're way more similar than they're comfortable with

Aaron, Matt, Renee, Wymack, e Andrew are all like "should we tell Neil he's now in a relationship or?" but they all decide to leave Neil in his painful obliviousness for the same reason. The fact that it will be Roland to tell him will forever be iconic.

On the translation for "Every inch of you," Andrew said. "That doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you." I forgive the translator every past mistake. That line got me like a freight train in the face.

"Whatever Kevin saw on Neil's face, it was enough to kill his curiosity. Kevin slowly closed his mouth, withdrew his hand, and went back to drinking" // Kevin in this scene

Andrew keeps on being hilarious even unmedicated.

"Cool it," Ricky warned them, with his hands out toward both of them. "We've got enough trouble to deal with right now without your bullshit." // I want a book about him

The whump level of attention Neil gets starting from his Evermore stay and onward is absolutely delicious.

Neil spends the night with Kevin watching Exy matches, then Nicky tries to get Neil to go for ice cream and Neil is about to say no when he sees Andrew and suddenly he's all existential "Exy can't be everything" lmao

Andrew going against Kevin multiple times to favor Neil is my new kink

"I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to go back for you." // Andrew has five (5) people he'd save in a zombie apocalypse. That's an entirely respectable number of people to care for that intensely. Neil chose one and one only.

It's almost impossible to comment anything once we start snowballing toward the end because that would require putting the book down, but I'll make an effort: Andrew's fierceness is heartbreaking. He threatens people left and right and most of the Foxes around him treat him like he's an immortal, vengeful god. Kevin trusts him to protect him from Riko, Neil hilariously trusted him to protect him from Riko and the mafia behind him. Riko himself reacts to him with caution like he's dealing with a rabid dog that might just be faster than a gun drawn in self-defense. Andrew threatens the FBI and Abby, and it's like he genuinely thinks he can win against multiple armed and trained adults. But he's not invincible. He's so far from that it's painful. He can be overpowered, his strength is proportional to his body, he has been brought down again and again. Hes' just a dude. But so many around Andrew treat him like his strength is a bottomless well, for better or worse, and I wonder what his self-confidence would be if he didn’t receive so often positive feedback on his ability to take everything and everyone down with him. I don’t think he’s even aware of it, but I’m glad it’s there nonetheless.

"She taught Coach Exy," Neil reminded him. "And what, he didn't notice that he knocked her up?" Aaron asked. // AARON lmao

Still can't believe Andreil got off on Kevin's drama queen tattoo and didn't even bother trying to hide it

Still can’t believe Andreil had a full on makeout session at Evermore. Somewhere, in a parallel universe, dark Andreil from the perfect court felt a tremor in the force

Reading my bound trilogy gives the pace of the entire work a completely different feeling. This truly is one single story, and not three separate books. Once you feel them being whole in your hands, without boundaries between one and the other, you can truly appreciate the avalanche that this story is. You start slowly with all the puzzle pieces around you and then accelerate until you reach the last 200 pages where you can't even find time to breathe, the entire narrative a single unified crescendo built on the 500 pages that came before.

Neil is an amazing protagonist, but he could have been unsufferable so easily if Nora hadn't done such a good job of keeping him an active character with a mountain of agency. The things that happen to him are obnoxiously incredible, but he never becomes the cliché passive protagonist bound by plot because they have nothing of their own to keep themselves upright. Everything that happens to him he reacts to with equal if not more force; hell, half of what happens he instigates with his own hands. So many books give you an empty protagonist meant to be the stand-in for the audience, just an empty shell so the reader can project onto them and fantasize about a different reality. Neil is complex, absurd, uncomfortable, and doesn't care if you relate to him or not. As a reader you are a fly on the wall and are treated as such. Neil isn’t here to make you feel good about yourself.

Insane rereadability rate. Read one book per day and I didn't even feel it, I already miss it and want to go back to the beginning to ride the roller coaster again. I'm a decade older than when I read this trilogy the first time, but these books are still a dopamine injection straight into my eyeballs.

[shinshandholder]

i think way too often about nicky's conversation with neil about love ("exy can't hold you up, and it won't make you a stronger or better person. sooner or later you're going to have to let someone in".) and how it's relevant at so many points of the trilogy, how it ties to neil's fears and how it always leads him to andrew. there are so many instances of it… just to name a few:

when neil is telling andrew about his past (kind of), and andrew takes it like a champ: "neil didn't know how to feel about that. he should be relieved, because it meant andrew might be done asking him questions, but it went deeper than that. he wondered for a moment if andrew could handle the entire truth so calmly, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider".

after neil accepts andrew's offer to protect him: "andrew didn't bulge beneath his weight. he was something solid to lean against, something violent and fierce and unmoving. neil couldn't remember what it felt like to have someone hold him up. it was terrifying and liberating all at once".

after the conversation with nicky: "neil wouldn't wish his mess on anyone else. except he'd already started sharing that burden, albeit unwillingly. he'd divided his secrets between kevin and andrew. kevin reacted the way neil expected everyone would to the truth: with a horrified demand that neil leave immediately. andrew, though, nodded in the face of it and told neil to stay. he stood his ground when neil asked him for murder and gave him a key to their house".

when he opens up about his past AND SHOWS HIM HIS SCARS. "with so many people watching, neil couldn't lift his shirt. he did the next best thing and dragged one of andrew's hands under the hem. he pressed andrew's palm to the ugly scarring across his abdomen."

when he picks up andrew from rehab: "they'd been apart for seven weeks but neil keenly remembered why he'd stayed. he remembered this unyielding, unquestioning weight that could hold him and all of his problems up without breaking a sweat. for the first time in months he could finally breathe again. it was such a relief it was frightening; neil hadn't meant to lean on andrew so much."

when his reaction to the conversation with wymack about being captain is to call andrew: "neil felt a half-second from losing his mind, but then andrew said his name and neil's thoughts ground to a startled halt. he was belatedly aware of his hand at his ear and his finger clenched tight around his phone. he didn't remember pulling it from his pocket or making the decisino to dial out."

JUST. "it's always been 'lie' and 'hide' and 'disappear'. i've never belonged anywhere or had the right to call anything my own. but coach gave me keys to the court, and you told me to stay. you gave me a key and called it home."

"letting someone in meant trusting them not to stab me in the back when terrible people came looking for me. i was too afraid to risk it, so it was easier to be alone and not think about it. but i trust you".

when they're making out and andrew lets him put his hands on his hair: "it wasn't much, but it was a desperate relief having something to hold onto. maybe that low rush in his gut was from being trusted enough to reach out at all".

the fact that he stopped running away and realized he wanted to be someone who stays and fights for his loved ones. "I didn't say anything then because I knew I'd look out for only me when the world went to hell. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to go back for you."

[orange-foxes]

5️⃣ Laughter Is Infectious (The Best Medicine Remix) by moonix (4k)

Five times the Foxes tried to make Andrew laugh, and one time someone succeeded without even trying.

5️⃣ A Charmed Life by KatherineF (6k)

5 times one of the Foxes sees Andrew smile, and the 1 time all of them do. Or, Andrew Minyard is a huge softie for Neil Josten and he can't hide it.

5️⃣ boyfriend privileges by mostly_maudlin (4k)

Andrew knows he treats Neil different. So why is it so bothersome that everyone else seems to know it, too? Five times Neil gets boyfriend privileges, and one time it doesn't piss Andrew off.

5️⃣ It Went Like This by eldrvarya (11k)

5 foxes that worry Andrew isn't good enough for Neil (and find out he is) and one that knew all along.

5️⃣ Not Nothing by TheRainbowElectric (23k)

Five times Neil tells someone that he and Andrew aren’t dating, and one time Andrew uses his words to set the record straight.

5️⃣ louder than bombs (i break) by mitigates (6k)

A 5+1 of Andrew learning Neil’s five spots he liked to be touched in bed and the one spot he needed to be touched outside of bed.

5️⃣ growing pains by nightquills, Ominous (11k)

Stuart knows it’s perfectly normal for teenagers to have crushes. That’s why he’s not surprised in the slightest when Neil starts acting strange; lighter, happier. However, what he doesn’t expect is for the crush to leak into his everyday life—or literally take up residence in his house. Or: five times Stuart knew Neil was hiding a nighttime guest, and one time he actually met him.

5️⃣ 5 times realisation struck Neil & 1 time he acted on it by alex_wh0 (7,5k)

"Neil looked across the room at Andrew and felt a surge of affection so intense that it stuck in his throat. He wondered how someone who had rolled out of bed barely an hour ago could have the audacity to make him feel like this." or Five times Neil Josten had a realisation and one time he did something about it.

5️⃣ Anything But Quiet by lady_flash (16k)

Five times Andrew tries to be quiet, and the one time he lets himself be loud.

5️⃣ You go your way, I'll go your way too by emmerrr (20k)

Neil tries to leave it as long as possible to make his first phone-call to Andrew. He figures the longer he can go without hearing Andrew’s voice, the easier it will be in the long run. He doesn’t quite make it forty-eight hours. (Five times Neil calls Andrew after Andrew has graduated, plus one time Andrew calls Neil)

5️⃣ reckless/i like it by Willow_bird (27k)

One thing didn’t seem to have changed since getting off the drugs. One thing almost seemed to have gotten worse. ”The next time someone comes for you, stand down and let me deal with it. Do you understand?” “If it means losing you, then no.” --- 5 times Andrew realized this something he had for Neil was, well, treacherous + 1 time he admitted (at least to himself) that he liked it

5️⃣ men, abort mission (that is the silver lining in my cloudy disposition) by quensty (2k)

The recorded number of times someone hit on Neil Josten and got nowhere, and the one time Andrew didn't even have to try.

5️⃣ five times. by redblue (4k)

The five times Andrew doesn't say he loves Neil, and the one time he does.

5️⃣ Identity Theft by likearecord (5k)

The Foxes make a bet: will Neil really be able to tell Aaron and Andrew apart if Aaron is deliberately impersonating his twin? Or, Aaron Minyard's adventures in identity theft.

5️⃣ Brother of Mine by Paradoxolotl (12k)

5 times Aaron should have realized Andrew had somebody, and the one time he met him.

5️⃣ Assumptions by Exyissexy25 (22k)

5 times Neil thought that Andrew was pulling away, and 1 time Andrew realized that Neil is an idiot. Features Neil and Andrew learning to communicate.

5️⃣ Just Because I Can by NikNak22 (8k)

Dan and Neil exchange a look. Then Dan sighs, rubbing a hand across her forehead. “Great. Just what we need. A prank war. The last time the team faced one of those, I lost a dealer, a goalie, and someone was nearly blinded.” “All in one day?” Neil quips. AKA: Five times the Foxes were pranked, and the one time the prankster gets their due.

5️⃣ hold on to let go by djhedy, fuzzballsheltiepants, moonix (14k)

Five times Andrew and Neil reunite in the wrong place at the wrong time, and one time everything is just right.

[02511213942]

I love your art style and the way you draw different body types and your username. Hello. Hi, just a fan. Also, do you have any favorite aftg fics?

🥹 THANK YOU!!! you're very kind!! ! i hope to get better at drawing different body types and i like my username too!!

i do have lots of fic recs, but i've been sitting on and incubating this ask for too long so here are just five that have been on my mind again most recently!

til death do us part by @alcego

We follow Neil's professional exy career, including the ups and downs, from beginning to end.

IF IT FEELS LIKE THIS FIC WAS MADE IN A LAB FOR ME IT'S BECAUSE IT WAS!! COMMISSIONED FROM THE BRILLIANT AJ :)) if you loved reading the games in the books u will looove this... sports-heavy outsider pov and media snippets, neil gets a concussion, andreil being odd and cute, kevin day is there. all is well in the world.

Signs of Life by moonix @annawrites

In which Kevin works the graveyard shift, Andrew is the witching hour cryptid, and Neil guards the ice-cream freezer.

if i were andrew i'd make out with neil in aisle ten too... kevin thinking about his breakfast sandwich and andrew needing to touch of the roots of his box blonde hair I LOVE YOUu....

burning with you by @seasy33

The crowd whistles and cheers. People on the dance floor start to pair together, pressing close and swaying. As the song really begins, Neil realizes he knows it and starts humming along, playing idly with the ring on Andrew's finger. Andrew's hand twitches. "You know this song." Neil nods against his shoulder, still humming. "You don't know who Aerosmith is, but you know Shania Twain." Neil shrugs. - Neil and Andrew go to a bar and end up sort-of serenading each other --with country songs. That's it, that's the fic

feral stick figure on all fours dot jpeg. whenever you're still the one or johnny and june come up on my spotify shuffle i think of this fic and my aura acquires a gentle pink glow. i love country music :)

Every Sinner Has A Future by OfficialStarsandGutters

Canon divergent Neil x Aaron. - Neil Josten. A shock of red hair and ocean blue eyes. Pretty faced, but nothing special. Except he makes a throwaway comment about Andrew being off his meds and it’s like everyone in the room forgets to breathe. Even Aaron, his body still and tense with surprise that he can tell them apart. Without even having met Aaron, he knew Andrew wasn’t him. That shouldn’t mean anything. Aaron rubs his sweaty palms on his skinny jeans and tells himself it doesn’t, it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

my fav rare pair and the fic ever for them 🥹 aaron minyard i've really come around to you and i'll even let you take my son out if you have him home by 10.

sunset, like survival by animediac @jaywalkers

The first time Neil dies is devastating. The second time is just as bad. The third time has them wondering if there’s a way out of this loop that doesn’t end with Neil dead. - Night, after night, after night. Baltimore isn't something that just happens once.

kandreil neil death time loop fic you are SO famous to me. on my mind again recently because róisín is very good at being a paramedic and knowing what really happens to the body when you are critically horribly injured, and i asked them what would happen if neil got hypothetically specifically tortured, and they did not let me down.

[allfortheslay25]

Hi! I just read your All for the fish au and I love it! You draw so, so well.

I wanted to ask, how did Andrew and Neil meet in this world?

This was supposed to be a full comic but I ain’t even got the energy for it these days—take a wip :/

Also! I’m trying to finish off my mermay stuff before I answer any other asks so plz be patient with me :)

They met in a bang

Neil was using a different path to escape Riko this time and being that his sense of smell is weaker than most, he couldn’t tell he wandered into someone else’s territory (he didn’t even think it were possible for a merman to have one so close)

Andrew caught Neil off guard by giving him a love tap (aka he bruised his ribs and knocked air out of Neil’s gills)

Andrew is not the type to leave threats unchecked and unthreatened so he questioned Neil, who obviously lies and tries to pretend to be a fellow merman. Andrew already knows he’s a siren so that’s a red flag. He circles Neil which is something hostile merfolk do when they’re going to attack.

Neil wonders if he could win in a fight. He’s got a longer tail but it’s not strong enough to wrestle Andrew’s back (siren tails are built for speed not strength) He could claw at Andrew but merfolk tails have thicker skin so Neil would have to fight his upper body. It’s obvious Andrew has weight on his side so Neil knows it’s a bit hopeless

Fortunately Andrew also knows Neil is supposed to be part of Riko’s group so he spares his life and uses him to answer his many questions.

Neil lives, Andrew lets him, and then Neil gets away, leaving Andrew to think about him for the next few days

Eventually, Neil runs into Andrew again, no hitting this time. They chat and chat and chat until the conversation stops being interrogations and hostile back talk to genuine inquiries

It isn’t until Neil catches Andrew having a snack that Andrew even begins to share his kills. Seeing Neil well fed and taken care of (and seeing his teeth tear apart food) encourages Andrew to keep feeding Neil

His family begins to notice, Andrew eats a whole lot more than they do but even this is excessive hunting. Aaron and Nicky sometimes hunt for their own snacks, it’s what keeps them in shape, so they catch Andrew bringing some of his kill to Neil.

Thus begins everyone’s panic on either side about their relationship

[palmettoshenanigans]

Trust me when I say I am trying SO HARD to not write an AFTG fic; I am BUSY, I am ALREADY writing a mammoth fic for something else, I am trying to not be CONSUMMED, I cannot write an AFTG fic.

And yet I keep having ideas. So, to save myself from the Cursed Brain Worms, I'm giving away this frantically written fic snippet I wrote for someone else to write (and hopefully post so I can read it instead of write it)

Here, someone adopt this orphan, I'm not ready to be a writer parent

The foxes are somewhere for a game and Kevin notices Neil. He panics because he thinks Neil is there for him under the jurisdiction of Riko. Neil was at Edgar Allen for a while but he left when Nathaniel picked him up for reasons Kevin doesn't get to learn. Riko told him Neil was to become the next Butcher and work for him. Kevin believed him.

The foxes are having a face off with Riko and Co, when Neil walks up and tells Riko to be quiet. Riko opens his mouth to retort but when Neil only raises an eyebrow he shuts up.

“In fact, I think you should go home Riko.”

Riko says something but Neil says, “I thought I said be quiet?”

Kevin speaks rapid fire French to Neil, Jean joining in, about how it’ll turn out bad if Neil makes Riko mad by embarrassing him like this. Riko says, “It’s rude to speak a language only you understand.”

Neil looks at him and says, in German, “Then I’ll look directly into your eyes and speak a completely different language, knowing you will never understand what I’m saying. I wonder if I talk for long enough and sound like I’m making a thinly veiled threat if I’ll be able to see your face twitch- ah, yeah. Like that. You’re so easily rankled Riko, it’s pathetic.” Andrew snorts and Neil turns to him with a raised eyebrow, which Andrew meets head on. Andrew then responds in German, “xxx”.

Riko makes a threat and Neil examines him. Neil then says to Andrew (in English), “Andrew Minyard, yes?” Andrew just looks at him. “Is it true you carry knives on you at all times?” Andrew nods. “May I borrow one for just a moment? I promise to bring it back.”

Riko says Kengo would never allow this. Neil pauses. “Call him.”

“What?”

“Call him and ask if he’ll be angry if I cut you.”

Riko pauses.

Neil raises an eyebrow. “No? Fine, I’ll do it then.” and he proceeds to pull out a phone and call Kengo on speaker phone, asking in Japanese, “Would you be angry at me for cutting up the second son?” Kengo gives no shits, and Neils grins at Riko as he says bye and hangs up. In english he says, “Well, you heard him.”

Andrew gives Neil a knife and Neil, tip of the knife tucked under Riko’s chin to guide him like a leash, leads him away, but not before sending a wink Andrews way saying, “Thanks for the loan”. Riko and Jean return, both looking pale, Neil gone with the wind. Jean gives Andrew his knife back, relaying a message from Neil about his "good taste in knives".

Seth dies because Riko asks Kevin where Neil is and the foxes don’t know.

The talk show happens, and Kevin says they’re inviting a former Raven to the foxes, pretending that he’s inviting Neil.

After the show, the foxes wonder how the fuck they’re going to get into contact with Neil, with Jean saying “No one contacts Neil! No one finds Neil! He contacts you! He finds you!” Jean then reveals that Neil only answers to the Main Branch after having killed his own dad.

The foxes are at their home stadium discussing their current conundrum when Neil breaks in asking Kevin what the fuck he thinks he’s doing. Everyone tries to convince him to stay.

“What do you want?” They ask him.

“Nothing.” He says.

Allison brings up Seth.

Neil argues, “I didn’t kill Seth. Riko did that. Trust me. I know when I’ve killed someone.”

“Stay for one year,” Andrew says.

“Why?”

“You owe me.”

“Do I?”

Andrew nods. “You promised to bring me back my knife. You didn’t. Jean did. I’ll forgive you for lying if you stay for a year.”

Neil pauses. Then he laughs hysterically. Then he agrees.

(later on, Neil does a job for Ichiro in return for him getting Andrew off his meds. it's revealed that Neil works for Ichiro specifically, not technically the entire main branch)

[calixcem]

Some post Tsc thoughts! spoilers under the cut :)

I have so many annotations in this book. (668 to be exact), so im just grazing the surface of everything with this one sooo part 1 perhaps?

-Kevin and jean. Jeans unrequited crush on kevin. I need to know more about this and I hope Nora delves into the semantics in the next book.

-Also how this relates to Kevin day famously saying it was easier to be straight. I figured this was a common thought among the ravens or at least Riko’s court,but Jean doesn't mention it once throughout the entire book. He brings up his attraction towards men multiple times ,and there was never any denying it. It was just something he accepted, so how did Kevin get the idea that it was easier to be straight and Jean didn't? Did Jean ever think this way and eventually changed it down the line or what?

-Im a sucker for found family and Nora really delivered with this one. Laila,Cat, and Jeremy are making it known to Jean that they’ll always be there and genuinely want to help him. The dynamic between all of them is so tender and I think it’ll be so healing for Jean. 

-Also I hope we see more of the floozy squad in the next book! 

-I need them to convince Jean to try boba at some point, and i really hope his relationship with food gets better. I really love that he’s cooking with cat and I really hope it develops into one of his hobbies outside of Exy. Let this boy live a little!

-speaking of hobbies: Cat teaching Jean how to ride a motorcycle?? I just feel like it would be beneficial(not to Jeremy’s heart but thats ok) 

-This specific moment with cat and jean 

she ran down to the tide to rinse it off with childish glee. Jean obediently inspected it when she brought it back, and she tucked it into his breast pocket with a cheerful “For you!”

Small things like this just really show how much they care about him.

- What’s up with Jeremy's family?? I really want to know what happened to where Jeremy “tore them apart” like what was the scandal his freshman year??? It was mentioned briefly but then Jeremy just decided it wasn't worth mentioning again considering all that was going on? The biggest “im fine” in history fr. Also when Cat is telling Jean about everyone’s siblings she mentions how when you go over 4 kids there's bound to be one asshole, but she only listed 4. So did one of his siblings die?? I might be reading too far into this but! Or it could be that one of them cut off all ties to the family after something happened? I don't know but I’m excited to read more about it in the next book!

Jeremy has—three. One sister, two brothers. The older brother’s an absolute tool, but there’s bound to be a jerk or two once you pass four kids.” Jean idly wondered what she’d changed at the last minute and why,

- The constant touches everyone gives Jean to ground him and make him feel loved just makes me so happy. 

- also jean constantly touching jeremy’s chin to get his attention??? Hello? 

A hand on his chin startled him into looking up. When he met Jean’s eyes, Jean only said, “Focus on what’s important.” “I am,” Jeremy said. Jean opened his mouth, closed it again, and let go of Jeremy without a word. Jeremy snagged his arm when he started to turn away. “Who did this to you?”

This line in particular really hit me.

-just jerejean in general honestly. The way Jeremy genuinely cares about him and wanting to help him heal 

You are going to be my success story: Jean Moreau the person, not Jean Moreau of the perfect Court.

“Will you help me?” he asked. “Anything you need.” “A blank check is a dangerous thing to offer.” “Try me,” Jeremy said. “I can afford it.”

-neil. Bro was just being a menace and seeing him from an outsiders pov makes me realize just how unhinged he seems to everyone. But him ordering that hit on Grayson without a second thought? Iconic. As everyone else is saying he dropped by to serve cunt and then left. 

-Jean dropping the most poetic line about Neil and Andrew’s relationship and then just not thinking about it ever again is so wild lmao.

Jean noticed how Andrew and Neil moved like they were caught in each other’s gravity, in each other’s space more than they were out of it, cigarette smoke and matching armbands and lingering looks when one fell out of orbit for too long.

-The parallels between Jean and Neil and how they dealt with things. I don't know if you can really call some of them parallels but they are connected in my head bro. 

-JEANS SISTER. Oh this shit hurts from the faint memory we get to the end when we find out that she's dead??? Nora you're paying for my therapy oh my god. And when Jean is mourning her the snippet of the memory of stitching up her dress that she’d get caught in the blackberry bushes???? He genuinely loved her and just when he’d be getting to a point to where he’d feel safe enough to try to get in contact with her again to find out his parents sold her off and she died because of it???? Yeah bitch burn your family to the ground. I hope we get more memories with her in them. 

[ninyard]

i am in my renee and andrew besties 4eva era rn (when am i not honestly..) and was wondering if u have any headcanons u’d like to share about them? <3 i love ur brain dude!!

Here’s something:

After thanksgiving, when Andrew has returned from Easthaven, he invites Renee for a sparring session. Renee agrees, and everyone tells her to be careful, that he’s different, that he’s unmedicated and scary and if she thinks she’s in danger she needs to yell for help. She thanks them for their concern with a tight smile and tries to hold back an unfortunately bitter eye roll when her back turns to them. Her and Andrew find their way to wherever it is they usually spar - an empty room? A parking lot?

But when they get there, Andrew doesn’t start. He usually does, with some annoying move that almost always trips her up, but this time he stands in front of her with this blank and bored look in her eyes.

Are you okay? She thinks, but she knows she can’t say it out loud.

The thing about Renee and Andrew, in my opinion, why they work, is they each can recognise themselves in each other. Renee can read Andrew better than he probably thinks that she can, and she gathered a lot about his past purely from insinuations and little comments made here and there. I don’t think she knew who Drake was, but when she heard what happened, and she heard foster father, and she heard Luther’s name mentioned, she knows exactly what the history is there. Andrew doesn’t open up to her like he does to Bee or Neil, but he does share with her the scrapings off the top of his story. When she shared her past with him, she saw the look in his eyes, the shadow that passed over his gaze, and knew what had happened to him. She knew what his questioning meant, the curiosity he held over the things she'd been through. The pieces fit together perfectly, in her opinion, the pieces that told her exactly why Andrew trusted her so much once she'd told him.

“Good or bad?” Renee asks him. She’s talking about Easthaven, his time there, but he doesn’t quite catch on. He rolls his wrist in a circular motion to gesture for her to continue. “The hospital.”

“Bad,” he says. “They weren’t very good at their jobs.”

Renee feels her heart in her throat at his monotonous and unemotional delivery. She also sees that look in his eyes again, this time unsheltered and unprotected by the cloud of medicated mania that usually covered it up.

“Power trip or opportunity?” She asks.

She knows all too well how it feels to be poorly treated by medical staff or authorities as someone who frequently ran into both in her youth. Andrew seems to understand her question, and runs his finger over the lightly raised outline of a knife beneath his arm bands.

"Both and neither." Andrew says. His eyes are tired, and for just a moment Renee finds herself almost... startled? For just a moment, it feels as if she is looking into the eyes of a stranger, stood in front of him, with no smile on his face and no wild look in his eyes. Renee realises that she's never seen Andrew like this before.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asks, as she’s prepping herself or tying up her hair. She notices how he hesitates.

Andrew doesn’t say anything, but still he doesn’t pursue the start of a fight. He doesn’t step forward to start the session, so Renee doesn’t start either.

“I get it, if you wanted to,” Renee offers, and Andrew looks at her, and his face says I’m not sure that you do. “I know you’ll talk to Betsy. I’m just offering an ear if you need to get anything off your chest.”

“Are you against killing medical professionals?” He says as he shakes himself out to take position. Renee smiles as she matches him.

“I’m against killing anybody these days,” she laughs. “But no, not if they deserved it. Keep that one between us.”

They fight for a while, but Andrew runs out of energy slightly quicker than usual. Renee wishes she could see something in him, some answer, some feeling now that his feelings were finally his own again, but each time she catches his eyes she is only met with this vast emotionless void. Renee naively hopes that with each step he takes, each fist he throws, that maybe he will finally be angry. Looking at him, knowing what he'd been through, imagining what had happened in Easthaven, she wishes he would scream and curse the world for the way it had treated him. It was a thought born from the old Renee, that much was clear. A thought founded in spite and revenge, born from fiery resentment and anger. Renee thinks Andrew deserves to kill each and every person who has felt entitled to him and his body. She would tuck her cross necklace beneath her blouse and go to confession afterwards, but she also knows she'd be right there with him.